#i just love ketchup and hate when my food touches you know so i made my own cursed sandwich with only two things touching

[holocene-sims]

asking a bunch for grant bc im NOSY : 🌾 [RICE SHEAF] How picky is your OC with food? What will and won't they eat? 🍔 [BURGER] What would your OC put on their burger? 🥕 [CARROT] How tough is your OC against certain situations? How weak are they against others?🧅 [ONION] What is surefire to make your OC cry? Who knows of this information?

omg hi nectar 🤭 thanks for sending me some questions!!

🌾 [RICE SHEAF] how picky is your OC with food? what will and won't they eat?

grant is, like, negative picky. the only thing he doesn't really like is any kind of tea but he'll drink it if you give it to him and every once in a while, for a very special flavor, he'll approve of it. maybeeeee not like it but at least tolerate it more than usual.

so yeah!! he'll eat anything, he does not care. he enjoys cooking and baking, it's all very relaxing for him, and he likes trying new things.

however, probably large in part because he never got to eat anything fun as a child unless he was far, far away from his mother (who only ever served "rabbit food"), he does gravitate to classic american comfort cuisine as his favorite foods! stuff like macaroni and cheese, pizza, etc. he might be the #1 mac and cheese stan worldwide tbh

🍔 [BURGER] what would your OC put on their burger?

the absolute dream combo for him would probably be like standard burger patty and bread with sauerkraut and swiss cheese, maybe a fried egg for funsies, too

can you tell he's from the midwest

🥕 [CARROT] how tough is your OC against certain situations? how weak are they against others?

i truly believe grant is much, much tougher than people would at first give him credit for (or even than he would give himself credit for...)

he's been through a lot in his lifetime and he can be very critical of himself for having developed mental illness, a chronic physical illness, and for struggling with addiction in the past because he feels like it's all his fault and he wasn't strong enough to make it out "normally" (there is no normal, i just think he would use that terminology against himself). but the reality is that survival AT ALL is a huge deal and is worth celebrating, and he's very resilient to have gotten to the place he's at in life now. was it fair that he had to be resilient? no, not even remotely, but in a way, he had no choice.

so that said, i think as he's gotten a better handle on healing throughout his 20s and now 30s (yay!! we just had his birthday last update in the story!!), he's become much more unshakable. social situations are his weakest area - for example, it took him a long time to stand up to his ex and tell her to get out of his life, and it is going to take even longer for him to work out the situation with his father and confront him one way or another.

NOW what is he really good at?! handling emergencies! if you're in a car accident, he's the guy you want to be in the car with you at the time because he won't break a sweat dealing with it. he's very mechanically-minded and good with logic and problem solving, so any emergency is not even slightly going to bother him because he does know he's good at those things. he trusts himself completely as long as he can use those skills. plus, he has many years of experience in compartmentalization lol.

we could also think about his previous job (that he's attempting to get back now) here. aviation is very safe for the most part, but you have to be chill about any kind of crazy ass events happening as a pilot because the stakes are ridiculously high. grant has an advantage in the chill factor, though, because on any day of the week, he'd 100% choose flying an airplane that's on fire or literally falling apart over being in the same building, not even the same room, as his mother. in his mind, he's dealt with much worse.

🧅 [ONION] what is surefire to make your OC cry? who knows of this information?

remember the not as good with social stuff thing?

yeahhhh, it's raising your voice at him. you don't even have to yell, you can just barelyyyyyy raise it and his eyes will at least get watery. he can handle honesty, he can handle bluntness, but not anything with a tone or yelling 😥

and i think everyone knows because his emotions always show on his face. in this case, he'll get that kind of twitchy look and his face will look like it's just been completely drained of life

#asks #hlcn: oc info #hlcn: story extras #hlcn: grant #i know nothing about burgers thank you r/cooking and bon appetit for your help #you know what my dream burger would be? bun and ketchup no protein #no literally i used to take sandwich bread and ketchup to school when i was a kid *everyone immediately unfollows me* #i just love ketchup and hate when my food touches you know so i made my own cursed sandwich with only two things touching #btw one of the best days of my life was ordering imported ketchup chips from canada during the pandemic #i haven't bought them since because they were expensive as hell to ship to me but </3 i miss you ketchup chips #holocene-sims? more like holocene-adds-unnecessary-stories-in-tags

[insuke69]

Miles!42 headcanons p2

Part 2 because 2 ppl asked and have sm thoughts of this boy HSJKS

Warnings: No warnings except possesive/jealous?? (I feel like hes a lil toxic, red flag sometimes but red is my fav color <3)

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

-He's good with kids but would secretly try to teach a kid curse words

-Is almost always texting you when you two aren't physically together, he's had his phone taken in class so many times because of it.

-He apologizes with flowers, necklaces, Food, make-up making out occaisionally

-Listens to your music taste and definitely has recommended good songs

-He will NEVER tie his shoe laces, just for no reason whatsoever and if you tell him to tie them he'd ask you to do it.

-STALKS YOUR INSTAGRAM NON-STOP. when yall first got together he liked all your posts of the last month

-Would deadass beat anyone who trys grabbing you in any intimate way, almost killed a dude that slapped your ass in the street in public. (Mostly cause one, without consent is a no-no, 2 was disrespectful, 3 only he is allowed to touch your ass smh)

-Thinks you're hot when upset/when y'all argue, hate makeout seshes go hard

-ARGUE-FUCKING-ING. He will piss you off sometimes so he can watch you storm out and a few hours later text him to come over, scenario;

You two were arguing about a post, an instagram post Miles made. It was a picture of you but you didn't know he took it, in the image you were chomping on a big ass burger and had ketchup and some cheese on the corner of your mouth. To Miles it was adorable but to you it was embarrassing, you storm out to your house, pissed, the one moment you were dirty because of food Miles took a picture and POSTED it. You check the Picture again as you lay on your stomach on your bed over a pillow to lay comfortably, remembering the moment; Miles made a stupid joke as you took a bite which made you almost choke as you turned your head to cough, smudging the corner of your moth a bit. Damn, he was so fun.. Missing him already you decide to watch a movie, him never leaving your mind so you just text him once the 2 hour movie was finished.

"Come over pls"

"Be there in 20"

"ily"

-loves movies, If y'all go on a movie theater date he gets tickets in the back, hand over yours the whole time.

+ If the movie ends up sucking y'all just make out in the theater and making jokes about the lines, acting, etc.

-He hates dark chocolate with a passion, deadass HATES it for whatever reason (he claims its too bitter.)

-If you have a guy bsf Miles would really have to get to know the guy and need 24/4 notifications about you and the guy bsf. If you confront him about being jealous or something he'd say anything along the lines of "You don't know the mind of a guy, You may not want anything but he does." and 9/10 he was right.

-DEBATING WITH HIM SUCKS this man will immediately gaslight sm shit that'd make you question life itself. (yet half the time he is talking out of his ass.)

-He is atheist 100% (Fact over faith + lost most of his faith when his dad died :(.)

-He doesn't like white girls, more into latinas/black girlies. (Idc if you're white, its more likely he is more into girls he can semi-relate to in a way.)

___________________________________________________________

Low-key wanna make scenarios so jst reply what yall want :D

#across the spiderverse #spider man miles morales #miles morales headcanons #42 miles morales #earth 42 miles morales x reader #miles earth 42 #earth 42 miles x you

[letterstotheflre]

that’s the thing about illicit affairs

summary: james was never hers to lose.

warnings: CHEATING, age gap (not specified but reader is in her 20s), tiiiny angst?? i don’t think it’s sad lmao, allusions to sex and one miniature sex scene, some food mentions, and a very badly written argument.

word count: 3k (why are they always so long ffs)

a/n: my first james potter fic <3 i love this man so much, sorry for making you the bad guy here. this one’s been sitting in my drafts for a few weeks, and since i’ve been feeling kinda sad i finally got around to edit it. also hedric rights!!

They always meet like this.

The room is dark except for a small sea salt lamp she bought on sale from Target. Her clothes are piling up on the floor, discarded carelessly by her lover, and his are not too far from meeting the same fate.

He is kissing her hungrily as he could never get enough of her. His hands travel all over her back while she unbuttons his shirt, their lips never parting. He moves her to her bed, the sheets a pale green that reminds him of—

No. He closes his eyes tightly, pretends the green is actually blue like the lacy bralette that covers her breasts and moves his lips down to her jaw. He sucks and nips and bites, letting her moans echo freely between the four walls that make their little sanctuary.

Her hands quickly undo his belt and stroke him lightly through the fabric of his boxers. He groans against the junction of her neck, the skin softer than anything he’s touched in years.

He pushes her down on the bed, cupping her face while he looks at her properly, noting the tangled hair caused by his fingers. Her lips are puffy and shiny, his kisses being the perpetrator of their current state. He waits for her to say something, to give him a sign that this is okay.

(It’s not okay, and they both know it. It’ll never be okay.)

She nods her head, and he kneels in front of her, pushing her legs wide open before he dives in.

—

She is laying on her bed, the sheets covering her body as she watches him try to fix up his hair in front of the mirror on her makeshift vanity.

“Make sure no one sees you leave,” she says, “and put—”

“Put my hood up, I know,” he finishes the sentence for her. It’s not the first time they do this dance.

“Sirius and Remus are with Harry at home. I told them I was going for a run, so they won’t say anything if I show up all sweaty,” he adds, trying to fill the awkward silence.

She just nods her head, fingers playing with a loose thread on the edge of the sheet, pulling it a bit more every time she twists her index finger. He steps forward, then sits on her bed and traces her cheekbone with his knuckles. “You know I care about you, right?” he asks.

Her heart clenches, a heavy weight pressing down on her chest that makes it hard to breathe for a second. She lowers her eyes, refusing to stare at those hazel irises that started everything. “I know, James,” she assures quietly, looking at a picture of her and Harry that’s stuck to the wall just behind him.

James brushes back some stray hairs that are still stuck to her forehead, then presses a small kiss on the slightly sweaty skin. He gives her a tentative smile before heading to the door, and she only looks in his direction when she hears the click of the door.

(He might care, but not enough.)

—

Sundays are always a slightly awkward affair at first.

Both of their families have been friends for years, getting together every Sunday for lunch at the Potter’s. James and Sirius always man the grill with her dad, all of them wearing those corny ‘kiss the chef!’ aprons. Her mother helps Lily make the salads in the kitchen while they gossip with Remus, who steals a few tomatoes when they aren’t looking. Now that it’s summer, she and Harry splash each other in the pool instead of catching up in his room.

It’s always strange seeing James in the light of day, pretending that this is the only version of him she knows: the version of him that is a friend, a father, a husband.

But she knows the other version of him: the one that has her on her knees begging for a taste of him, the one that grips her hair while he pounds into her from behind, the one that lets his tongue explore places of her no one else has. The version of him that kisses her forehead and plays with her fingers while their bodies are tangled together under the sheets. The version of him that kisses her as if she were the only one made for him.

(She isn’t.)

They are sitting around the table eating. Sirius is laughing about something with his arm around Remus’s shoulders, his bark of laughter echoing across the garden. Her mother’s shoulders shake as Lily rolls her eyes in amusement. James and her father have gone back to the grill to bring everyone their second round of burgers, and she can hear her father complaining about something from work.

“Here y’go, kid,” says James as he places the plate in front of her before ruffling her hair. She tenses up for a second before relaxing, muttering a small “thank you” before reaching for the ketchup.

She hates that nickname. It’s so impersonal, keeps a distance between them that truly doesn’t exist. As if he isn’t the only person that can make her vision whiten and the colours of her room hazy while she clutches his shoulders. As if he isn’t the only person who can pull so many different sounds from her vocal cords, sounds he knows no one else has ever heard before because he is the only one who can create them.

She can feel Sirius’s eyes on her as she stretches one arm, so she hesitantly glances at him. He raises an eyebrow, eyes switching back and forth between James and her, and she can see the cogs turning in his mind.

She gulps anxiously, dismissing him with a wave of her hand and goes back to eating.

—

James’s moans are loud as he gathers her hair in a makeshift ponytail. His cock is buried in her throat, and he watches as she gags for a second before relaxing her throat.

She’s taking him so deep that her nose nuzzles his pubic hair, the musky scent of James filling her nose as she breathes deeply through it. She starts moving her head up and down, swirling her tongue around the tip every time she rises.

He is a mess above her, needy whines and wanton moans leaving his mouth. His hips thrust up softly, slowly fucking her mouth, and he relishes in the small choking sounds she makes. His head rolls back as he groans, “That’s it, baby, so good to me.”

She winces at the name and pulls away from him. “Don’t call me that,” she mutters, but her hands never stop stroking him. She takes him back into her mouth and starts sucking with a newfound fervour, his voice echoing inside her head as she tries to make him forget about her.

(She tries to forget too.)

—

Honey rays filter through her window.

They are both laying on her bed, James on his stomach while she refills the glasses with some cheap wine she got from the store. He looks at the tiny purple splotches on her neck and the red fingerprints on her hips, then smirks proudly. When she turns, she smiles at him softly.

There’s a summer breeze that ruffles her curtains, and he can hear some teenagers laughing as they walk down the street over the music that plays from her speaker.

She places her glass on her nightstand, her nipples brushing his naked back as she leans over him. She lays down on her side, her fingertips softly drawing shapes on his skin. It takes him a moment to realize they are not random shapes but letters.

Her name, written over his scattered freckles and connecting his moles with cursive loops.

He takes her hand and kisses it, slightly chapped lips pressing against her open palm. Then he kisses her lips, still bitterly sweet with grapes, as his tongue moves languidly against hers while he pulls her by the hand on top of him.

It feels like a distant memory. It feels like a dream.

—

The cacophony of different voices singing “Happy Birthday” rings in her ears.

Harry is at the front of the table, an adorable blush dusting his cheeks at the attention. On either side of him are James and Lily, smiles wide as they watch their son blow the candles. Cedric is behind him, hands on his shoulders, and he leans forward to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

She sings and claps, whooping with Sirius when Harry blows the last candle. She eats cake and drinks the pretty cocktails Lily ordered. She smiles and laughs, pretends she couldn’t see the way the candles made the golden band on James’s ring finger beam like the sun.

She pretends she doesn’t see the way James holds Lily’s waist before kissing her. She pretends she can’t see them dancing slowly to a song Remus put on the Spotify playlist as a joke.

She pretends she can’t hear his footsteps following her when she goes to the bathroom. She feigns disinterest when he grabs her wrist and pulls her towards a deserted corridor.

But she can’t ignore the butterflies in her stomach when he kisses her, the thrumming in her veins when he pushes one leg between her thighs, nor the pleasure-filled gasps and moans that leave her mouth when he helps her roll her hips along his covered thigh.

It’s thrilling; they’ve never done something like this in public, much less in such proximity to friends and family.

(In such proximity to her.)

Even though she knows it shouldn’t, it gives her a sense of victory. Because he is here with her now: he is kissing her, making her moan, and whispering dirty things in her ear.

A faraway call of his name breaks the spell they’re under. They pull away hastily; she fixes her dress while James makes sure there are no lipstick stains on his face. The footsteps are getting closer, heels hitting the floorboards at the same rhythm as their rapid beating hearts.

It’s Sirius.

James almost breathes a sigh of relief, but she remains tensed up. Sirius looks between them, the same look he had that Sunday all those weeks ago on his face, and she feels bile rising in her throat.

“Lily’s looking for you,” he says, his thumb pointing back over his shoulder towards the reception where everyone’s gathered.

“Right,” says James. “Better go see what she needs. You do not want to see an angry drunk Lily.” He laughs, almost oblivious to the awkward tension between his two friends. He goes back to Lily, leaving her leaning against the wall and Sirius standing in the middle of the hallway.

Sirius looks at her, and even though his mind already knows, he refuses to believe it. “I didn’t know where the bathroom was,” she offers as an explanation. It’s a flimsy excuse, she knows that, but it’s the best she can do under this kind of pressure.

“Right,” he whispers with a short nod, then follows James.

She stays rooted to her spot, lips tingling with the ghost of James touch and a guilty mind.

—

Hours later, she clings to a pillow as she lays on her bed alone. The same pillow James was resting on less than twelve hours ago.

She breathes in deeply, trying to catch any scent of him she can, but there’s only the scent of her fabric softener.

There’s no James. No citrus shampoo or woodsy cologne nor salty air from the beach near his house. Because he never wears any cologne when he comes to her, ensuring that there’s no trace of him once he leaves.

Like he doesn’t even exist.

—

It ends in a parking lot a month later.

She was waiting for Luna to arrive at the mall but ended up asking for a rain check when James texted her, saying they needed to talk.

‘Meet me behind the mall’, she texts him.

She walks to the back of the building and waits for his red car to show up. She already knows where this conversation is going to go, and her heart shatters at the thought of saying goodbye to him.

She raises her head when she hears a honk in front of her, and she gets in while whispering a small “hey”. He doesn’t start the car again, just settles for turning the ignition key off. She looks at the families leaving the mall through the tinted window, refusing to look at him, as her knee bounces up and down anxiously.

The silence is heavy, and she suddenly feels cold in the August heat.

James takes a deep breath, “We can’t keep doing this.”

She can’t help the snarky comment. “That’s not what you were saying yesterday while you had your fingers buried inside me.” He looks at her unimpressed, and she rolls her eyes.

“It’s wrong,” he says— as if she doesn’t already know that. “C’mon, baby, don’t make this harder than it has to—”

“I told you not to call me that!” she raises her voice, and the car gets silent again. She hates the tears that gather in her eyes, hates that she cares so much about him and their stupid game, but she couldn’t help it. Not when he whispered so many sweet nothings in her ears and caressed her skin so softly, almost afraid to break him if he was too rough.

(Not that he cared about that when he stretched her wide open and thrust so hard into her that the bed frame banged against the wall.)

“You can’t just show up here and tell me it’s over like you weren’t the one that came to me first,” she jeers, and she can see the tick of his jaw as he clenches it. Good, she thinks, make him angry.

“Don’t just blame me. You didn’t say ‘no’ once.” He grounds out, “In fact, I can recall you were begging me to fuck you against the wall.”

Her cheeks turn into a small fire, a slight feeling of shame overcoming her. “Oh, like you were any better!” she exclaims. “‘Been thinking about you for months.’ ‘You have no idea the things you do to me.’ ‘No one can suck my cock like you.’ ‘I care about you!’” She deepens her voice to mock him.

James opens his mouth to keep the ball rolling, and she wants him to do it because it meant that the fight was still on, that they wouldn’t have to end this. Instead, he takes a deep breath to calm himself. “I’m telling you now it’s over. Stop acting like a kid who didn’t get her Christmas present,” he says, knowing exactly what he is doing with those words.

“I’m not a kid,” she snaps, her eyes fighting back angry teats at his dismissal. “Then stop acting like one,” he shrugs.

Her hands turn into fists, nails digging themselves into her palms as she tries to keep her anger at bay. “Do you know how much of myself I gave to you? How many plans with my friends have I cancelled in case you called? How many guys I stopped seeing because they weren’t you?” she rants, her voice increasing in volume as she lets her frustration take over. Then, she pauses. “You’ve ruined me, James.”

Her voice is so pained that it makes his heart clench, and he lowers his head, refusing to look at her. He knows, God, he knows what he’s done, but he couldn’t help it. He had been so lonely with Lily spending so much time at the hospital, and then there she was with her caring and understanding nature. With her adorable laughs and those touches that were so addictive, a mercurial high that gave him the lowest lows whenever he tried to stop.

He keeps his mouth shut; there’s nothing left to say anyway, and it’s better for her to hate him rather than anything else. “You are not going to say anything?” It’s meek, vulnerable, and she wants to slap herself for acting this way. She knew it would never last, that he would always choose her.

He was never hers to lose, so why is she still fighting?

She nods her head in surrender, biting her lip to stop herself from sobbing. The anger now gave way to sadness, “I can’t believe I let you make a fool of me.” Her voice is hoarse, a result of the lump in her throat that prevents her from swallowing comfortably.

She gets out of the car and slams the door shut, then leaves the parking lot, leaving him behind. She keeps walking, fingers gripping the straps of her bag until she reaches an empty street.

The golden sun is ready to dip on the horizon, and she can hear James’s car speeding behind her.

—

She doesn’t let the tears fall until she’s inside her apartment.

The moment she closed the door, she crumbled to her knees, loud sobs falling from her mouth and fat tears rolling down her cheeks. It takes her a moment to gather enough strength to walk to her room.

She cries and cries, buries her face in her pillows and starts sobbing even harder because she can smell him. The salty scent and citrus shampoo finally embedded themselves in the fabric, and she can’t believe that after all those days she craved to feel him close to her, he chooses now to leave a trace behind.

She cries for hours until her eyes are puffy and red, and snot comes out of her nose. Her chest heaves with short breaths that don’t really fill her lungs as she clings to that damn pillow before throwing it across the room. She can’t believe it ended like this: with her completely broken for anyone else while James gets to go back to his life and act like nothing ever happened.

Yet she knows that if she had to choose, she would do it all over again because if she had to choose someone to be her ruination, she would choose James Potter a million times.

TAGLIST: @emmaev @gxtitobxby @ildm4ev @capsmischief @arisblackhole @dracosafety @dracoxgeorge @tonystarksmutgarden @blowing-mikey @roonilwazlibswhore @lovelylupinx @sarcasmismyon1ydefence @marxy-06 @glossiable @remusjlupinisdead @amixedwitch @mattefic @artisancowbells @zzzfour — if you want to be added tap here

#james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter smut #james potter one shot #james potter fanfiction #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter angst #marauders fanfiction #marauders angst #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #james potter fluff #marauders fluff #marauders smut

[novamirmirsblog]

So stay with me

Word count: 1957

Request: Yes

Genre: ANGST

Warnings: DEATH. SADNESS. Like there is literally no silver lining.

A/N I've done the foster system based off how it is where I live. I don't know what it's like for other countries so I apologise if it isn't quite the same for where you live :3 ALSO I'm going to put the request elsewhere because in order for the full unhappiness, you must experience it like this 😈

When you first entered the S.H.I.E.L.D training programme, you had been hand picked by Fury himself. You were bouncing from foster home to foster home at the time, causing general trouble by stealing, fighting and lashing out at anyone and everyone. You had no real direction. You knew you were most likely to end up on the streets - sure your social worker would still check in occasionally after you had aged out of the system but there were more and more kids being given up. Realistically, you knew you were on your own. When you reached 13 you knew that no one was going to adopt you. Especially when there were babies and young children available. Deep down, you had figured it out when you were around 9 but you clung to the naive hope that you were wrong.

~~~~~

Fury found you when you were 15 but didn't take you in until you were 17. It was the day after your 17th birthday when he turned up at your foster parent's door. He said he wanted to take you for a military programme and you packed your bag before he had even finished his speech.

You went through years of intense training and passed top of your class for everything. It was surprising considering you had never been first before. What was more shocking was the need for praise. You had always believed that you didn't need it. You had never had it before, so why is it a necessity. You realised how wrong you were when Maria took you to the side and told you that you had done well. The comment replayed in your head for months.

~~~~~

You were 23 when you first joined the Avenger's initiative. 23 when you first met Natasha. The two of you didn't hit it off to begin with, Natasha didn't like how reckless you were and you didn't like how far the stick was shoved up her arse. Truth was, you both liked each other a little more than just friends but neither of you knew how to deal with these emotions. Let's face it, Natasha grew up being told 'love is for children' and you grew up in the system where the cracks were so big elephants fell through them. The team could see it though.

"Just ask her out." Wanda told you while sitting on your bed painting her nails.

"Who?"

"You know exactly who. I can read your mind and your thoughts are very loud."

"No. Your information is wrong." Wanda grabbed your hand, painting the left one first.

"Y/n just ask Natasha out. She'll say yes."

"I hate her. We're enemies."

"Some say you have to love someone to hate them and besides" Wanda paused, gauging your reaction "You wanting to bend her over a table doesn't sound very enemy like."

Heat rose in your cheeks and you prayed nothing gave you away. "Untrue. I want to do that in an enemy way."

"Sureeee..."

From then on, you were extremely careful to keep your thoughts quiet. Especially when you had to watch Natasha train.

~~~~~

It was Natasha who asked you out. At first you thought she was joking and very nearly laughed but then you saw how she was standing, how she said 'will you go out with me' with such nonchalance that it was as if she was asking you to pass the ketchup. No one could be that cool and collected. It was the way she even played slightly with her fingernails that showed you she was nervous. You of course said yes.

That was the beginning of your relationship and you had been going strong for a good five years. The nausea and tiredness however, started three years into your relationship. Natasha used to joke that maybe you were pregnant when it had first started happening, the others laughing at even the thought of you cheating on Natasha. The jokes died down when after a month and a half of running to the bathroom, it finally affected your missions. You were sent right off to Dr Cho and no one would have anything else said on the matter. You had tried to fight them, of course - it really wasn't that bad. All you needed to do. was take some anti-nausea medication and you would be fine.

Leukaemia

You knew that one little word would do so much damage to your strange family if they ever found out. You sat in silence as you formulated a plan, Dr Cho just watching you, letting you process. What was the point in telling your family and causing them pain if the treatment plan Dr Cho had lined out for you worked? There wasn't. That's why you kept it a secret. Why you brushed off any comments about your increased nausea, or your lack of hunger. The only person who knew was Fury.

~~~~~

"Are you cheating on me?" Natasha had cornered you after a particularly tough session of chemotherapy. All you wanted to do was sleep.

"No. Why would you think that?" Words were hard to say when you had to put all your energy into just standing up.

"You go out at all times of the day and night, you're too damn tired to do anything and you never talk to me anymore Y/n... If you wanted to break up you didn't have to cheat."

You knew this day would come eventually. It was a year into your treatments and none of them seemed to be working. Natasha wasn't stupid. It's why you kissed her on the head and pulled her into the tightest hug you could muster.

"I would never do that. I love you Natasha Romanoff. I'll explain but let me get everyone here." You asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to call everyone down to the living room.

Once everyone was settled on the sofas and chairs, you sat on the coffee table, no longer being able to hold yourself up.

"I have leukaemia."

At first, you couldn't bring yourself to look at the others. You didn't want their pity but you knew they wouldn't be able to show anything else. You looked at Natasha first. You knew she wouldn't have a pitying look on her face.

You were right.

Natasha looked furious. How dare someone who didn't even want you in their lives give you a horrible disease. She knew your chances of survival weren't good but there were treatments that could help. She had more than enough money to get whatever treatment necessary.

Tony spoke first. "I'm going to my lab. FRIDAY, contact Dr Cho. I need Y/n's medical details."

Bruce followed quickly behind him. The others gave you sad but hopeful smiles. You couldn't bring yourself to tell them there was little hope.

~~~~~

Natasha had been gone on and off for 6 months. You knew your time was coming to a close but she still hadn't given up. She was always in some country following a lead for some experimental drug to try and cure you.

But there was no cure.

Not for this. Maybe one day there would be a cure, but not in your lifetime. The cure wouldn't be able to save you.

You were almost hesitant to let Natasha come back. It had been a while since she had seen you and now you looked like paper. You were thin and fragile and your skin had lost it's colour and took on a grey tinge. Your cheeks were hollow and your lips were constantly chapped and the only thing you could stomach were tiny meals and energy drinks.

You were dying.

Everyone had come to terms with it. Tony and Bruce never stopped trying to find a cure, it just wasn't for you anymore. Wanda tried her best to keep you as comfortable as she could with her powers and Steve would come and tell you stories of before he was put in the ice to entertain you. Clint would bring his kids until it got too painful for them to see you turn from the scariest, coolest person they knew into a hollow shell.

The only person who hadn't come to terms with it was Natasha.

"Nat she needs you." Steve told her when the team were all eating.

"I know. I really think this time this lead will be the one. Then she can be fixed and-"

"Natasha." Wanda cut her off, her voice dangerously low. She had heard this speech so many times that it was painful to hear it again. "She needs you. She's dying and you need to accept it. You don't have much longer left with her and you're abandoning her when you should be with her 24/7!" Wanda's eyes glowed slightly red as she thought of all the times she had to watch her best friend realise the love of her life wasn't there with her. The cutlery began to shake a little and something fell over in the kitchen.

The crash that you heard woke you up. Maybe it was Natasha. You hobbled out of what was supposed to be your shared room, and made your way to the kitchen. By the time you had reached the kitchen, everyone was fighting. There was food being thrown, knives being grabbed and glasses shattering everywhere. You just stood there as your best friend and your girlfriend attempted to kill each other.

"guys stop." Your throat hurt from hours of throwing up so your voice didn't carry.

"guys really..." You tried again, tears forming in your eyes. You didn't want to spend your last days watching your loved ones fight.

"FRIDAY tell them to stop. please."

"Miss Y/l/n would like you all to stop. Now."

Everyone turned to the doorway where you were standing, horrified that you saw them fighting.

"Y/n, you need to get to bed sweetie." Wanda walked over to you, wrapping her arm around your waist.

"Don't touch her." Natasha stormed over, taking your other side.

"Ladies there's no need to fight. You can share right?" You let out a soft laugh and watched as they both melted. Just because you were dying, it didn't mean you lost your sense of humour.

They both took you back to your shared room, Wanda leaving to give you and Natasha some privacy.

"Please don't go anymore." You laid with your head on Natasha's chest, her hand stroking your hair.

"But I'm so close. I can cure you Y/n."

"Natty please. I can tell I don't have much longer left and I don't know if I'll still be here for when you come back if you leave again."

"But I can't lose you." Natasha whispered, scared that if she spoke any louder, some other power would hear her and take you away from her too soon.

"So stay with me."

~~~~~

It was strange, you thought, lying on your bed; you had always thought you would die doing something spontaneous, or maybe in the field. Not because your cells were abnormal. Natasha had spent every moment with you since she returned 5 months ago. You had planned everything; your funeral, little messages to each of them, where to bury you. Everything was sorted. All that was left now, was to die.

It was an ordinary Wednesday afternoon when you felt the last drops of life drain from you. You knew it was time and so you turned to Natasha who had you wrapped up in her arms, placing a hand on her face, the rest of the Avengers all sitting there quietly.

“When the time is right, we’ll be together again. I’ll always be with you.” You then let your eyes drift shut, never to open again. Not in this world, anyway, but perhaps in the next.

A/N pt 2: NOOO BUT WHY AM I CRYING. THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT WAY AROUND. We've got some Peggy Carter fluff coming up soon tho :)

Also here is the request:

A Natasha x fem!reader. Reader was one of THE best shield agents and a great member of the avengers, but sadly had genetic cancer. After fighting for two years, with nausea, pain, and no improvement, reader knew she was dying. She didn’t want to admit it, especially after all the team has done to help her, especially her girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff. No amount of treatment or amount of money or technology Tony had was gonna save her. In the end, reader comes to terms with it. But Natasha doesn’t want reader to give up. Reader get through to Natasha that she wants to spend her last moments with her without putting more strain on her body. Natasha then comes to terms with it. Eventually, on readers death bed, surrounded by the rest of the avengers, Natasha is holding reader in her arms as reader says goodbye and looks to Natasha and says “When the time is right, we’ll be together again. I’ll always be with you” (GO NUTS AND MAKE IT ANGSTY)

#natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha x you #natasha romanov x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha romaoff angst #Natasha Romanoff angst #black widow x female reader #black widow imagine #black widow x reader #black widow x you #black widow #angst

[twstarchives]

Scary Dress・Voice Lines

● Event: Scary Monsters (October 14 - November 26, 2020) ● Exclusive Cards: Deuce, Kalim, Epel, Idia, Malleus, Lilia, Azul, Jack, Jade, Vil, Cater

Deuce Spade - R

Unlock Card “This school event is meant for everyone to have fun. I’m going to make sure this Halloween’s a success!”

Groovy “You’re not getting away from me... I’ll scare you till you're trembling to the bone!”

Home Setting “I’m a skeleton ghost that’s risen from the grave! BOO!”

Home Transitions “These are our special costumes, so make sure you’re careful with them. Grim, that means don’t claw on the lace.”

“When I was a kid, there were times when I used to start sobbing because I thought there was a monster outside. But it was actually just the laundry drying out there... Oi, stop laughing!”

“I got some treats from Epel. There’s a lot of them, so I thought I’d share with you. You know the secret code, right?”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Happy Halloween! You just can’t help but get excited around this time of year.”

Home Taps “I saw Draconia a while ago. Seeing him walk around in that serpentine dragon costume so valiantly made him look cooler than ever.”

“I got a text from my mom—she said she wants to see my costume. I don’t mind sending her one, but I don’t know how I feel about taking a selfie... Prefect, could you take one of me?”

“I’m used to seeing the ghosts on campus, so they’re not that scary. Our terrifying dorm leader Rosehearts, on the other hand...”

“Viper fixed the lace on my hat for me. I feel like the vice leaders in every dorm are really caring.”

“Hey, you! You want me to bury you!? S-Sorry. I was practicing my scares; I didn’t mean to say that to you, Prefect.”

Kalim Al-Asim - R

Unlock Card “Are you all ready to have some fun? Alright! Come on and follow my lead! One, two—Happy Halloween!”

Groovy “Grr... Pain shoots through my body whenever I look at the full moon. You better watch your back if you start to hear some howling.”

Home Setting “Growl! I’m a werewolf now.”

Home Transitions “Rook knows a lot about wildlife, and he told me all kinds of things about wolves. It was really useful.”

“I always carry around candies this time of year. This way anyone can tell me ‘Trick or treat’ anytime!”

“My magic carpet seems pretty excited for Halloween too. I’m competing with it to see who’s the scariest!”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “A party that everyone’s stoked about—that’s what Halloween is! Let’s have fun together! Growl! Growl!”

Home Taps Whine! Grrrrr! Bark! *cough!* “It’s hard trying to sound like a wolf...”

“I feel like it’d be so much more exciting if Cater, Lilia, and I dressed up for our band performances. Don’t you think so?”

“Jade said his costume is a mummy. If you wore clothes like that in the Scalding Sands, you’d get so hot that you might actually turn into one.”

“I like this costume; its design is really reminiscent of the Scalding Sands. Plus it’s easy to move in. It fits for dressing up as a werewolf.”

“Hm? You want to try scaring me? Spare me from any tricks, though. Ahaha!”

Epel Felmier - R

Unlock Card “Boo! Did I spook you? Hehe. I’ll come scare you again if you let down your guard.”

Groovy “Struggling against me is useless... I think. You won’t get away from me.”

Home Setting “Now, Halloween has begun!”

Home Transitions “Wah! Oh, crap!¹ I stepped all over my cloak. If Vil saw me, he’d get mad and say ‘It’s not proper to run around like that.’”

“I carved some of the pumpkins that are decorating the school. Mine have ghosts and our dorm’s emblem on them. Try to find them, okay?”

“Hey, have you seen the decorations on Main Street? They’re all so pretty, and really marvy².”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “I think this is the first time I’ve celebrated such a festive Halloween. In my town, the festivals feel a lot more scaled down.”

Home Taps “Halloween celebrations in my hometown are never this big, but I can promise you the food’s always delicious. I want you all to come see it someday.”

“Riddle got really passionate when we were talking about the treats for Halloween earlier. Sweets are just amazing, aren’t they?”

“I’m a first-year just like Deuce and Jack, but I wish I could scare as well as they do. But only practice makes perfect!”

“Tremble in fear! ...No. That’s not menacing enough... Ah! What if I put ketchup around my mouth?”

“Huh!? A treat? Sorry. I finished handing all mine out. But I’ll peel an apple for you later, so don’t give me a trick or anything... Okay?”

Idia Shroud - R

Unlock Card “E-E-Even I get excited for events sometimes... Is that bad!?”

Groovy “Anyone who sees what’s beneath my helmet won’t be leaving here unharmed... Hehehe!”

Home Setting “Wahaha! The Pumpkin Knight has arrived!”

Home Transitions “Every time Ortho tells me ‘Trick or treat,’ I give him some candy, but earlier he got mad and said ‘Let me have a trick too.’”

“You need to know your etiquette to have fun with events. That’s true no matter what world you’re in.”

“This time of year, they’re always having tons of huge events in gacha games. I’ve got an overwhelming lack of free time.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Weheehee~... Happy Halloween. Huh? Why are you making that face? Is it that weird to see me pumped up?”

Home Taps “Hiding my face under a helmet really lets me relax. The downside is it’s a little hard to breathe, though.”

“Wh-What are you dressing up as? Don’t tell me you’re just going to throw on something basic like a headband or a hat and call it a day?”

“They say lions are members of the cat family, but... Sir Leona is not soothing in the slightest. Hah~ I wanna nuzzle a cat...”

“You can say it. There’s no such thing as a nerd that hates Halloween!”

“Weheehee! I made this using a 3D printer, so it’s got really nice durability. ‘How much did it all cost’? Well, if you want to know, it was on sale.”

Malleus Draconia - SR

Unlock Card “Halloween is a festival observed by both the living and the dead, regardless of one’s race. You, too, should enjoy yourself as much as you can.”

Groovy “I’d make anyone tremble in fear with a single breath of fire. Watch me.”

Home Setting “I’m not dressed up as a dragon. It’s a serpentine dragon.”

Home Transitions “The students in our dorm seem very pleased with our costumes. They were all cheering with joy. This was well-worth the trouble.”

“Lilia knows a lot about many nations’ versions of Halloween. He told me stories about them instead of his usual lullabies. That was a long time ago, though.”

“I saw two pumpkin knights around campus. The smaller one was floating, so I’m assuming they were the Shroud brothers.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “I’ve experienced many Halloweens, but this year seems especially chaotic.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Trick or treat!... wasn’t it? If you don’t give me a treat, I’ll have to trick you. What will you do?”

Home Taps “The red serpentine dragons from the Far East, which our costumes were based on, could even play folk instruments. Hm... How very interesting.”

“I caught Asim practicing his wolf howls. He’s lacking on the impact, but it does have a charm to it. Heheh.”

“Halloween in the Valley of Thorns is especially grand. It’s a different take on it than other countries have, but you should come see it someday. It’s beautiful.”

“If you hear a strange noise, don’t automatically assume it’s the work of a ghost. Faeries love playing tricks all year round.”

“This tail? Mine is not an accessory; it’s real. As curious as you might be, don’t get too close. You’d be easily flicked aside if you got hit by it.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “I’ll set fire to anyone that harms your dorm, just like a serpentine dragon would. I’m fond of that place.”

Lilia Vanrouge - SR

Unlock Card “Halloween is my home ground ♪ I can’t wait to see the surprise on everyone’s faces.”

Groovy “Do not underestimate me. You might end up finding yourself trembling and unable to sleep all night long.”

Home Setting “Growl! How was that? Did I sound like a dragon?”

Home Transitions “On Halloween Night, the goblins who served the Fairy of Thorns would gather around a fire and dance all night long. You probably wouldn’t expect them to be party animals!”

“I remember the day I met a real-life serpentine dragon in the East like it was yesterday. Its crimson scales were truly a sight to behold.”

“I like eating most sweets, but marshmallows are the only ones I can’t do. It doesn’t feel like I’m eating anything; they aren’t satisfying.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Trick or treat... What? You’re already used to my tricks? Then I’ll have to bring out my trump card.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “If I were a real dragon, I could give you a ride on my back. But instead, why don’t I give you a piggy back ride?”

Home Taps “Hnn... The decorative horns on my cap are so heavy. Malleus really has these on his head at all times?”

“Aren’t my red nails cute? Vil painted them for me. He told me these were called gel nails—long-lasting nail polish.”

“Silver and Sebek used to be such crybabies. The mornings after Halloween, I’d have to spend the whole day doing laundry.”

“Have you seen Ace anywhere? He’s always eating Trey’s sweets like he really likes them, so I made some for him as well.”

“Oh, oh! It’s dangerous for someone of my stature to have a tail almost touching the ground. Try not to step on it either.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Achoo! Sorry, sorry. This peacock feather tickled my nose.”

Azul Ashengrotto - SR

Unlock Card “The Mostro Lounge is currently offering a special Halloween menu. You must come and see!”

Groovy “Let’s have all the fun we want tonight. Now, let me hear you scream all the way up to the moon!”

Home Setting “How do I look? It’s very stylish with the way it revisits the old-fashioned sort of mummy, isn’t it?”

Home Transitions “If these were my own tentacles, I could move them freely at will, but that’s not true with these bandage wraps. I have to pay close attention to my movements.”

“Of course we have Halloween celebrations under the sea. Although, unlike on land, merpeople don’t exactly wear costumes.”

“I ran into Silver with this costume on, and he yelled ‘The enemy!’ before pulling out a baton. ...He must’ve been half-asleep.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Halloween only happens once a year. Let’s have the time of our lives together.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Did I hear you say ‘Trick or treat’ just now? Offering me of all people a deal is quite bold of you.”

Home Taps “I have an affinity for the costumes Jack and the other Savanaclaw students are wearing. They look like ghosts you’d find at sea, don’t they?”

“I referenced dishes that my family serves for the Lounge’s limited edition menu... Oh, my family runs a ristorante.”

“I’ll hold back on the treats, thank you. Accepting more and more of them will only increase my calorie intake for the day.”

“The reason we chose mummies for our costumes? I’m very unfamiliar with them, which made me all the more curious. After all, you can’t have anything dry under the sea.”

“What are you in such a rush for? I understand feeling excited, but you must be discreet when getting ready to scare someone.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “You must come see Halloween under the sea sometime! It’s just as fun as the academy’s.”

Jack Howl - SR

Unlock Card “Dressing up as pirates fits for Savanaclaw, since the guys here are all brutes. When you want something, you take it!”

Groovy “On Halloween, it’s ghost territory. Make sure you be careful when walking around at night. Grr...”

Home Setting “My scares aren’t just for show.”

Home Transitions “Scarabia dressed up as werewolf ghosts. They really nailed the ears and tails.”

“When we were making jack o’ lanterns, Ruggie kept eating the pumpkin seeds. Do those taste good...?”

“The pirate costume fits Leona really well. He’s lazy and vulgar—ahem! He comes off as strong and powerful.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Happy Halloween! It’s nice with all these decorations and festive energy. Wanna walk around together later?”

Home Transition (Groovy) “I was getting tired of all these sweets, so I got some jerky. Want any?”

Home Taps “Ace and the others swear that anything Trey bakes is to die for. I wonder how his pear compote would... N-No, nevermind.”

“I used to want to be a pirate when I was little. I remember making treasure chests by myself and filling them with coins and sparkling jewels. Those were the days.”

“Pirates have to aim their cannons and do a lot of heavy lifting while onboard. They’ve got to train hard.”

“I almost never wear rings, so I’m scared these might fly off at any moment. Plus it’s hard to move my fingers.”

“Oi! Stop prodding at my costume! What’re you going to do if one of the seashells breaks off?”

Home Tap (Groovy) “You haven’t put on your costume yet? The ghosts will come to kidnap you if you don’t hurry and change.”

Jade Leech - SSR

Unlock Card “I’ve been expecting you. Today I have a most wonderful scare prepared for you.”

“We’ve been working hard to ensure that everyone can spend a wonderful Halloween.”

Groovy “The sight of you screaming as you try to hurry away... It’s irresistible. I cannot hold myself back from chasing after you!”

Home Setting “Who would like to be tied up in fear?”

Home Transitions “You want to see me when I’m frightened? Heheh. I wouldn’t mind you scaring me anytime you’d like.”

“There is no such thing as using pumpkins as lanterns under the sea. I was very shocked learning about culture on land when I was a freshman.”

“Have you had a chance to try out the Mostro Lounge’s limited edition Halloween menu? I contributed a recipe to it.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Trick or treat! Heheh. There’s no need to look so frightened; I won’t bite.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Oh, my. Were you hoping to play a trick on me? I have a treat on hand, so please spare me today.”

Home Taps “I helped Ruggie with making jack o’ lanterns. They’re very quick, cheap, and beautiful. How fitting.”

“Dryness is fatal for merpeople. If we were dried up like a mummy... Just the thought is horrifying.”

“Floyd, don’t eat too many sweets. It’s different while we’re in the water, but here we have a high risk of tooth decay.”

“The draping wraps on our costumes resemble jellyfish tentacles. They’re pretty, aren’t they? I like their asymmetrical design.”

“You seem to have a wish to join the world of mummies. First, I will wrap your whole body in bandages, and then dry you out... I’m only joking.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Halloween under the sea? If you’re interested, I will show you around one day.”

Duo Magic Jade: Azul, we cannot waste any more time. Azul: Let’s be efficient about this, Jade.

Vil Schoenheit - SSR

Unlock Card “Are you prepared to pledge yourself to me? It’s a great honor to be the sustenance of my beauty.”

“If I’m participating in this, then I’m going to aim for quality that transcends all previous Halloweens. Please keep up with me.”

Groovy “How unfortunate; there’s nowhere left for you to run. Yield yourself to me and become my slave.”

Home Setting “You will be a victim to my fangs.”

Home Transitions “Vampires, who possess eternal beauty... This is a perfect theme for me, isn’t it?”

“It would be difficult to check my appearance if I couldn’t see my reflection in the mirror. Perhaps I’d have to check with Rook between every class.”

“The other day, I was drinking tomato juice in the evening, and Epel screamed at me. How rude.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Trick or treat. Although, I don’t need any sweet treats. I’m sure you can guess what a vampire would want... Heheh.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Have you flipped your sleep schedule like a vampire’s because it’s Halloween? Make sure you don’t stay up too late.”

Home Taps “I don’t usually carry around treats with me, so last year I fell victim to Lilia’s tricks. That was honestly unpleasant.”

“You should carefully deliberate over your parasol and choose one that has strong protection from the sun. Don’t forget sunblock either.”

“Floyd’s skin is very beautiful. Makeup sits exceptionally well on moisturized skin, too. Always remember to moisturize.”

“My father is an actor, and for every Halloween he would come home in a costume with special effects makeup. I wonder if perfectionism runs in the family.”

“Even a single strand of hair out of place is something to pay mind to. Could you fix my hair for me?”

Home Tap (Groovy) “My cloak has enough cloth to wrap around a person. Should I hide you inside it if any scary ghosts come by?”

Duo Magic Vil: Let’s end this nonsense right here, Lilia. Lilia: Leave it to me to guard you from behind, Vil.

Cater Diamond - SSR

Unlock Card “I’ll fill you all the way to the bone... with fear, of course ♪”

“Aha! Are you surprised with how off things feel now? Let me show you Cay’s charm, now that I’m a touch different for Halloween~”

Groovy “You’re not thinking you’ll be able to get home safely now that you’ve dug me up, are you?”

Home Setting “Don’t you think my costume’s super aesthetic!?”

Home Transitions “The pumpkin pie Trey always makes this time of year... Mm, it’s not too sweet, and it’s sooo good~!”

“Did you see Lucius today!? He was wearing a super adorable pumpkin hat... I can’t believe Professor Trein~!”

“Sebek-kins really loves Malleus~ He’s got a reputation among the third-years for being the passionate Draconian.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Happy Halloween! How about we take a picture to commemorate?”

Home Transition (Groovy) “I have a feeling this year’s going to be the funnest Halloween we’ve ever had. You should be excited too, Prefect!”

Home Taps “I really like how our skeleton-looking laces are so elegant. Our dorm uniforms give off more cutesy vibes; it’s super different.”

“A black veil holds many mysteries... Heheh. You’re always free to lift it up anytime you want, Prefect! Just kidding.”

“Heartslabyul’s costumes last year? We were pirates! Wish you could see Cay as a pirate~?”

“The whole campus gets super festive and exciting around Halloween! And all the decorations are so photogenic.”

“Black makeup smudges easily, so you kind of need to have advanced skills to use it. Does it look okay right now? It’s not smudged?”

Home Tap (Groovy) “What are you dressing up as, Prefect? Come let me know when you have it ready. I wanna take a pic~”

Duo Magic Cater: “Jack, lend me some of your aesthetic support!” Jack: “This’ll be a breeze, Cater!”

#twisted wonderland #scary monsters #events

[only-lurkin-dont-mind-me]

The Path of Loyalty is Paved in Blood

While I enjoy reading Mostly fluff pieces, it seems as though whenever I write it always ends up... a little angsty (mostly with a happy end though, I’m not heartless)

@chiliiscereal

TW: Blood. Injury. Character death(s)

The night had been cold when you first met them, you remembered it well. You were still so young, so were they. You had been wandering the empty park in the later hours of the night, wandering aimlessly until you heard other children's laughter. Short stubby legs racing to find where the noises were coming from, the chattering grew louder as you made your way to a single basketball court. 

As you looked past the shrubbery dotting the edges of the court, you saw them, four brothers smiling and laughing in delight as they passed the ball around in what seemed to be a game of catch. You were too young to even think of how they looked different from you. Instead, you stood in place, wondering if you could join in their game. 

When the smallest of the group lost his aim and ended up throwing the ball into the same bushes that hid you, you took it as your cue.

"Mikey!" one of them laughed gleefully, "I'm over here; you gotta throw it to me!" 

"I'm doing my best Leo, catch better!" the other replied in turn as you grabbed the ball. Slowly you walked to the edge of the chalk outlined court, ball in hand, looking around nervously. You could hear them walking towards you. You only looked up when the biggest of the group spoke to you with a cheerful tone as you bounced the ball towards him.

"Nice find, I thought we lost it that time." Despite being the largest out of his brothers, he was smaller than you with a big grin. You couldn't help but smile back; yeah, they seemed like fun. 

Taking another step forward, you finally found your voice, "Can I play too?" You asked with a bright smile, one that was matched by the kid that had two red stripes by his eyes. 

He was quick to move to your side and grab your arm, pulling you along while exclaiming loudly, "New friend's on my team!"

"What?!"

"No fair!"

"NO TAKE-BACKS!" 

The darkened smoke-filled skies hid the sun from sight. You watched your heavy breaths rise into a cold mist, glowering at the looming threat that towered over you. You thought of that moment, of each and every moment you had cherished with this found family of yours.

The common tradition that came with sleeping over in the lair, you and Mikey would go straight to the kitchen, baking tools in your grasp as you both set about designing something that would be amazing. The music had been loud as you both danced around each other, tossing stencils back and forth, drawing out ideas for cake designs. Taking turns kicking the others out each time one of the brothers tried to infiltrate and sneak off with the tasty decorative pieces. "You know-" Mikey had spoken in an easy tone as you both worked on the final touches of the nights' creation. "-it really is fun getting to do this stuff with you, you're my favorite crafting buddy!" He would say while throwing an arm around your shoulders, beaming smile and all.

As the cold air of the storm seeped around you, fighting off the burning heat from the creature, you snarled at the beast above you, fist clenched, widening your stance, placing yourself directly between it and your family that lay in a bloodied and far too silent heap just behind you.

Another late night with Donnie, hiding out in the lab trying to be as quiet as possible while watching old horror movies. You could never be scared of them whenever watching them with the purple-clad turtle. "See? See?! right there, it's a big ass wire holding the doll up can you believe it!" You had jumped on him, covering his mouth to stop the roaring laughter from waking up everyone else in the lair. In the same fashion, he had covered your mouth to help you bite back the same laughter. shoving your hands away to keep his commentary up, "The blood looks like it's just water mixed with ketchup!" He had wheezed out. Throwing popcorn and chips at each other to try and silence each other in the strangest attempted stealthy food fight as the ridiculous horror movie played on. 

You could feel the ache in your bones as the rain and ash pelted your skin, your muscles wanting nothing more than to give out. You knew that the only thing keeping you going was adrenalin and a deep-rooted instinct to guard and stand by your family. As the blood dripped from your wounds down your person into a puddle on the ground, you planted yourself in place. Standing firm and unyielding.

Evenings with Raph, sitting with him on the floor of his room, holding his trembling hands together as he held a paper flower in his palms. 'The Beauty of Origami' laid open on the ground next to you both, Raph had asked you to go over the instructions and make the simple lotus flower first so he could see the steps in person. As he stared at it now it seemed so small and fragile in his larger hands. "You can do this, Raph. Paper is easy, it takes a light touch and that's it. Even if you mess up it's alright. It won't hurt anything if you tear a piece or two, we'll just try again." He finally looked to you, absolute trust in his eyes as he nodded. Gingerly placing your flower down in front of him, Raph took the piece of colorful paper from you, and he began to craft. 

You felt every emotion at once rising from within you, faithful love for your family, Warmth from all of the small moments you held close to your heart with them. You could physically feel your spirit rise in a violent force to defend them, this wasn't just a group of brothers. This was yours, your family. 

"Hurry up, if you don't get in here already the dynamic duo is going to be a dynamic uno. I will leave you behind if Raph finds you in the kitchen this late!" Leo whisper yelled as he stood halfway through the portal that leads to who knows where. You could only throw the bag of chips at him as you rushed his way, food, and drinks in tote. As a heavy set of footsteps slowly sounded through the hallway you saw Leo's eyes widen, He lunged forward, wrapping an arm around your torso, and pulled you through the portal with a laugh. As the world brightened once again to reveal a quiet cliffside, you could hear the water below. "Come on bestie, help me set everything up." So it would go, snacks, drinks, a blanket to lay on, and an endless sky of start to watch, fake constellations to make up and give stories too.

The beast let out a crashing roar as it stomped the ash-covered ground in front of you. You could feel the force of what felt like many in your words as you bellowed a wordless, hateful cry. You could feel tears rushing down your face now. Still, you remained in place. "This is my family! You will not touch them!" Thunder booming as your voice sounded. The storm only growing as though it was lashing out in your own emotional state.

Your ferocity faltered as you felt a hand reach out to rest against your ankle. You risked a glance behind you, looking down to see that it was Leo, you could see his bloodied mouth trying to move, unable to form the words, and tears falling down his bruised face. his hand shook from the effort of trying to grab hold of you. His eyes were desperate, tired, near lifeless. He wasn't going to tell you to fight, or to run. He was just... Scared. Of existing at this moment alone. 

You looked to the beast with a burning, hateful, wrath. You growled towards the creature as you turned your back to it. Instead of fighting fruitlessly with your last breath, you allowed your body to fall to the ground. Hitting your knees as everything you had was finally given out. 

You leaned against Raph’s side unable to feel for his normally pounding heartbeat. resting an arm on top of him to hold onto Mikey's limp hand, squeezing lightly, waiting for a responding squeeze that you knew would never come. Stretching your other arm over Leo's back to reach for Donnie, resting a hand on his chest, feeling for his slow heartbeat, only to be met with a cold lack of the familiar rhythm. Finally, you let yourself slump forward onto Leo's upper shell. You pressed the side of your head against his, no longer holding back the anguished broken cries. You felt his arm wrapping around your shoulders desperately as he tried to catch any breath he could. You could hear his crackling breathing slow as his body began to relax.

This was your family, you had found them when you were young. You had grown up with them. Celebrated with them at their best and mourned with them at their worst. You would find a permanent rest with them. You would stay until your final breath gave out and beyond. 

You called out their names softly in turn, waiting for any response. 

Nothing. 

You closed your eyes, knowing that this was where you belonged. Besides your family, till the end. As you allowed your body to finally rest, you held tight where you could. Allowing what final strength you possessed to be poured into a final declaration. "... I love you."

You could hear the fading noise of the beast finally getting closer, you had a feeling though that none of you would feel the burning as its molten fire gathered in its gut, its maw unhinged, the fading light of its flames shines and-

...

"HEY!" Your eyes shot open as you sat upright, greeted by the sight of four smiling brothers, no equipment, no blood or bruising, not a single scar from their lifetimes marred their scales. They seemed, healthy, glowing even in a way you had never seen before. 

Leo kneeled next to you, Raph was standing tall with Mikey perched on his shoulders. Donnie standing a few steps behind them, looking outward along the treeline of what seemed to be a meadow, staring towards something that had caught his attention. 

"C'mon, Donnie says the river down there has got to lead to a lake or something." Raph gestured to where Donnie was looking. 

"Yeah, baby! We're gonna go for a swim, see what we can find out here." Mikey chimed in, hopping from Raph’s shoulders to the ground, snatching up Donnie and pulling him along in his excitement.

"Yes, do try to hurry though, Michel here just might leave us all behind if we take too long!" Donnie shouted back to you as he was dragged along.

Raph could only laugh as he raced to catch up with his younger brothers. 

Leo grabbed your arm, pulling you up easily with a relaxed grin. As soon as you were up he began walking in the direction his brothers left in. Once he realized you weren't walking with him, however. He stopped, turning to you with a knowing look. "Hey-" Leo reached out a hand to you. "You coming?" 

You stared at him, settling into yourself with a wave of newfound peace, you couldn't feel a single ache or pain, just a light airy happiness surrounding you and your family. You slowly reached out and took Leo's hand, smiling back at him with a shine in your eyes you could only remember having when you had first met a lifetime ago. "Of course I'm coming with you guys, I'm always right with you aren't I?"

Leo nodded with an amused snort. "Course you are, you're always with us, oh and by the way-" Leo pulled you along, walking at a leisurely pace, seeming to settle into this new place just as much as you had. "-We love you too."

#doingnickelodeonsjob #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt #tmnt x reader #tmnt #tbh this is like highkey all familial love nothing romantic so yeah #also sorry for the angst I intended to write something sweet but just... *vaguely gesturing* this happened?

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

For your Halloween event.

Name: [REDACTED]

They/it

Good at identifying and understanding emotions. I make a point to demonstrate compassion whenever I can, and I’m loyal to a fault. I like reading, drawing, music, animals, children, and whatever my special interest may be at the time.

I have pretty severe ADHD-C, and I’m very touch averse. Despite that, I’m the most cuddly person on the planet when I initiate touch. It’s my main love language. Many have called me the most friendly and affectionate person they’ve ever met.

I am one of physical comforts, like decent mattresses, good food, comfortable clothes, and just the right kind of sensory stimulation.

I have difficulty accepting people as they are (when I do, it’s because we share the same beliefs)

I’m a hermit and a homebody and I’m very shy and anxious and ‘weird’ (apparently it’s a personality trait), and I have a really hard time speaking up for myself.

Despite my loyalty, my feelings for relationships, platonic, or otherwise, tend to run hot and cold. I may talk with someone for hours on end, and then never feel the need to speak with them again. I hate ghosting people, so I’m very careful and considerate of my friendships (I am occasionally known to ghost, and it’s not something I’m proud of.) I take all of my relationships with people very seriously, and make my intentions as their friend or partner very clear from the beginning. It may drive people away, or bring them closer.

I’m not very ambitious, and I have no big dreams of money or fame. I like positive attention, but I’m not very used to it, so any attention at all makes me very nervous.

I’m not a great conversationalist most of the time, unless I’m talking about something I’m interested in.

I hate confrontations, even friendly ones, like debate, and I’ll have a panic attack if I’m caught in the middle of one.

I’m also very moody. Very moody. So very moody. I have a difficult time regulating my emotions.

I value kindness, patience, and effort. Loyalty and honesty, too.

I don’t like overly aggressive people, extremely closed off people, or anyone stuck in their beliefs (or, ugh, other’s beliefs) or unwilling to hear multiple sides of a story.

If someone is unnecessarily mean, they’re out. If someone can’t take our friendship or relationship seriously, they’re out. If someone doesn’t share my core beliefs, they’re out. If I can’t feel a reason to continue talking with someone, they’re out. If they hit me or someone else seriously, they’re out. If they like arguing for the heck of it, they’re out.

There are exceptions when I understand someone else on a level that I don’t normally understand others, like unwavering empathy. Interacting with that someone becomes exponentially easier.

I can’t stand it when people don’t close doors, chew with their mouth open, or stand to close to strangers (aka me).

I have no idea what I’ll be like in 10 years, but hopefully I’ll be generally happy or satisfied with my choices.

Dogs own my ass. Somehow, I understand cats much easier, but dogs own me. Maybe I’m a cat inside 0.0 like a ragdoll or something.

My favourite food is stuck between oatmeal, Norwegian fish soup, and sushi. I hate tomatoes (but not more than school lunch lasagna. I would eat three large tomatoes if it meant I’d never have to put that in my mouth again), but I like ketchup (okay so don’t say ‘but ketchup is made with toma-‘ yes, I know, hush) and I can only eat certain foods. I like to cook, and I like food in general.

Those are all of the things underneath my weird and chaotic front. It is very weird and chaotic. I don’t know if I can quite call it a front. Occasionally loud. I am basically Jessica Day, but less sunshine-ie and positive.

This is all I can think of at the moment

:D

Hello, hello !

It was a difficult one! You got very close to be match with UT Asgore, UT Grillby or Disbelief Papyrus. But one had to win, and it's...

HORRORTALE PAPYRUS (Willow) !

Willow is matching your personnality closely : very patient, loyal, affectionate, empathic, kind, compassionnate and an excellent listener! He is usually a little cuddly, but if you don't like being touch, he won't mind to give you some space. Contrary to his brother, Willow can be just fine without touching people. He is obviously very friendly and affectionate, with some strong mother instincts sometimes.

The only thing that might be a challenge is your moody attitude. Willow has some difficulties to adapt to this changes of mind, but if you're open to talk about it, he will adapt under a short period of time.

He's not very complicated. He likes everything you likes! Even if he's not a big reader, he loves your drawings. He's holding a learning farm, so obviously, he loves animals and he has a nice touch with dogs.

He shares most of your dealbreakers, except for the doors. Willow tends to not be aware of his strength, and sometimes he slams the door so hard it breaks. But that's fine, it's usually happening only when he is exciting! He doesn't trust strangers either and, since his story is pretty bad, he likes openminded type of people that won't trigger him about what happened Underground. He's not close to talk about it however, and will gladly explain everything.

Willow is a great cook and loves to eat most of things, so no problem on this. As long as there is food, he doesn't mind.

He's projecting a lot in the future, and even if he is a little shy about it, he loves children and will gladly plan one with you if you want to one day.

Willow is best man and you'll probably have a great time with him!

#match up event #horrortale #undertale ask blog #undertale asks #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons

[wormstacheangel]

Almost: Ch. 3

Hello! It’s a happy ending story so don’t worry but I wanted to write more about Dean’s relationships with others. Read it on AO3 link (maybe leave a nice comment?)

Ch. 1 link | Ch. 2 link |

Summary:  Dean comes back from the long drive with Cas in need of some comfort. Sam is there to finally get him to talk out his feelings and admit to things he has been pushing down. Then he has to go face Cas the next day.

Word Count: 2920 More Under the Cut

“So, what?”

Dean was sitting on the floor behind the register of Charlie’s café. His head rested against her legs as she took orders, feeling too damn embarrassed to go home to face Sam or go to work and face Bobby. Charlie was the only other person who he was close to but she came into his life after Cas already left it.

“You’re just gonna hide here?” Charlie said before her customer service voice took over. “Hello! How can I help you?”

She took an order while Dean continued to munch on the brownie she has given him earlier. It wasn’t warm anymore but it was still damn good. He was glad he had a best friend who would let him eat his feelings and provided the food.

When she addressed him again she crouched down to smile sadly at him. He hated it. “Dean, I didn’t even know you liked anyone.”

“I didn’t fucken know I liked anyone either.” He groaned in annoyance as he threw his head back but it hurt as it hit some glass mugs. “Ow! Damn it, Charlie!”

“Don’t take your anger out on me!”

“I’m-I’m not! I’m just mad in general! At Cas being back. At me not over my damn high school crush. At dumb fucken Mick .” Dean let his head fall into his hands. “I’m 26, dude. I shouldn’t be dealing with this shit anymore.”

“What does age have to-?”

“I shouldn’t be having boy problems!” He pulls his head out of his hands to explain to her before he groaned again. Mumbling, “I’m too damn old for this shit.”

“Maybe if you focused more on the pretty girls like me then you wouldn’t be in this mess.” She jokingly nudged him as she sat on the floor beside him. Pulling him down so she can awkwardly hold him. “I think you just gotta be the mature one, Dean. He’s probably not staying for long anyway so how about you just go to the funeral like we planned and then we can forget that little Castiel walked back into our lives. Does that sound like a plan?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“That’s the spirit!” She dropped a kiss on top of his head. “Now, are you going to stay and hug my legs until closing?”

“Thinking about it.”

Charlie laughed but shoved him off when he dropped his full weight into her.

Dean did end up going home. He needed a hot shower and hoped to whatever god was listening that Sammy won’t come looking for him today because he knew Bobby would have called him. He knew Sam would be worried - Bobby would be too but won’t admit to it and Dean respected him for it - and he would come barging in with his emergency house key he made without permission. Then he would want Dean to talk.

Sam always wants Dean to talk.

A few months of not talking after suddenly losing his Mom and his best friend moving away and suddenly, ‘you’re someone who needs to be watched, Dean.’

Dean wouldn’t be damn surprised if there were hidden cameras in his apartment. At least he’s given whoever is watching a damn show every once in a while.

Luckily he took a hot shower in peace. His apartment was filled with music as he walked around his room to clean the already tidy space. His mind floating around to think of nothing in particular. Making himself not think of what happened. Not think of Cas. Not think of the damn kiss. Not think of his baby blue’s that still hold so much power over him. Not think of his dumb smile or horrible singing voice.

“Fuck!” Dean grabbed one of his pillows and buried his face into it. “Fuck you! Fuck you!”

“Dude,” Dean jumped as he heard the familiar voice behind him. Sam walked into his bedroom with beers in hand as well as a greasy brown paper bag. “Is that any way to talk to someone who brought you supplies?”

Dean dropped his pillow on his bed and passed Sam, bumping their shoulders together. “Fuck you. Stop letting yourself in.”

Sam let out a low chuckle but followed him to the small kitchen. “You weren’t going to let me in.”

“Cause you’re nosy, asshat. That’s why.”

They dropped into the kitchen chairs while Sam passed him his food, grinning like an idiot and annoying Dean to no end. Dean liked eating in silence but his brother wouldn’t stop looking at him and smiling. Like he’s hiding something or knows the damn secrets to the universe.

Dean was almost done with his second beer and half his fries when he kicks Sam’s chair. “Just fucking spit it out, Sammy!”

Sam sat up in his chair and leaned in closer to Dean as if he was about to share a secret. As if anybody else was in his apartment to hear them. “Guess who’s back in town?”

“Cas.” Dean quickly answers as he leans back in his chair, his feet resting up on one of the extra chairs, and takes a sip of his beer.

“How’d you-?” Sam blinks at him in shock before shaking his head. “Well, I bet you don’t know that he’s engaged to this guy named-”

“Mick.” Dean rolled his eyes as that name escaped his lips again. “Fucking asshole.”

Sam leans back on his chair, his face dropping into a scowl. “How do you fucking know that?”

Dean shrugs as he takes another fry and dips it in ketchup before chewing on it. Ignoring his brother’s waiting stare. “I just know things.”

“Fuck you.” Sam pushes Dean’s chair back in annoyance. Dean would want to do the same thing but Sam’s chair was now too far away for his legs to reach. “Who told you, dude?”

“Who told you ?” Dean asked back while he scoots back to the table.

“Gabriel. He came looking for Cas at the garage so he told Bobby and me. We also met the dude.”

“Dude? You mean Mick?”

“Yeah. He was pretty chill. He has an accent.”

“Accent?”

“British.”

“Fuck!” How was he even to compete with some fancy British dude? He’s seen the Great British Bake Off. Those people are nice. Cas deserved a nice person. “I don’t wanna see Cas being all gaga for this dude tomorrow.”

“Dude, his Dad is dead. Pretty sure his mind would be somewhere else.” Sam tells him. Watching him with those damn wide eyes that scanned him. Looking for any damn indication that there could be something wrong. “What’s up with you? Are you...wait.”

“Shut up, Sam.” Dean could read it in his brother’s face. That damn aha moment lit up his whole face.

“Are you still hung up on Cas?” Sam’s grin broke across his face and Dean stood up to walk to his front door.

“Thanks for dropping by, Sammy. Now leave!” He opened the door and motioned Sam to walk through it.

“Hell no!” Sam rested his feet on the empty chair. His arms crossing over his chest as he got comfortable. “My big brother’s high school crush just walked back into town with a ring on his finger and you want me to just - what? Ignore it? Hell no.”

“Sam.” Dean’s voice went lower as a warning but Sam didn’t budge.

“Dude, just talk to me!” Sam tells him, opening his arms up as if showing Dean that he is ready to listen. “You used to talk to me about Cas all the time! Hell, you used to talk to me about the guys and girls you’ve been with every other day!”

“That was before.” Dean slammed the door shut knowing Sam wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He dragged his hand down his face as he walked to the couch, not hungry enough to finish eating.

“Before what?”

“Before shit got complicated.” Dean fell into the old couch and didn’t look at his brother. Instead looked down at the beer in his hand, his thumb scraping the label off with elbows on his knees as he leaned forward in his seat. “Before Lisa left me cause I wasn’t ready for a commitment. And then Benny left because I was going too fast. Shit. I haven’t been able to get a damn thing right for a while.”

“And what? You thought Cas would be the answer?”

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know. I just saw him and I felt...better. Lighter.” A smile crept on his face. “He was still wearing that ugly coat Bobby gave him a long time ago.” He chuckled before he cleared his throat. Catching himself falling again.

“You still love him?”

“Doesn’t matter. He doesn’t feel the same way.” Dean tells him, a short cold chuckle like breath escaped his mouth as he shook his head. “He doesn’t feel the same way anymore, Sammy.”

“Dean.” It was a quiet sad tone and Dean was gonna tell him to shut it but then he found out why Sam was using that tone on him. Dean was crying.

“Maybe now that Cas moved on. Maybe you can too.” Sam walked over to sit beside him on the couch. Not touching Dean but just being close enough to comfort him. “You can stop waiting for him now.”

That was it, wasn’t it? Dean has been waiting for Cas all these damn years and he didn’t even know it.

“Fuck. I’m so stupid, Sam.” Dean shook his head as he put his beer down on the floor before he covered his face in his hands. “He kissed me too.”

“He kissed you?!” Sam sounded shocked but Dean didn’t look at him.

“Yeah. He did. Told me he missed me too.” Dean hits his head in frustration. “I’m so fucking stupid!”

“You’re not, Dean!” Then Sam’s arms were around him. Pulling him into a sideways hug that Dean was going to push away from but instead he let his little brother hold him. He’ll hate himself for breaking down in front of Sam tomorrow. Right now he needed the comfort. “It’s okay. You can move on now. You know now so you can just move on. Let your heart heal.”

Heal. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds nice. He thinks to himself as he took a calming breath like Sam always tells him to do.

But if he couldn’t move on 5 years ago, when the kiss was terrible, how was he suppose to move on now? With the taste of Cas and the feel of him in his arms was still burned into his mind? Still fresh. Still new.

Craving it every second he can’t have it.

“I love him, Sammy.” Dean took a shaky breath. “I still love him.” And it’s killing me knowing he doesn’t.

-

The next morning Dean was standing outside the funeral home with Charlie fussing over his and Sam’s hair. Dean kept loosening his tie while they waited for Bobby to finish the phone call with a customer, letting them know they would be closed for a friend's funeral. Friend is really putting it nicely.

Chuck was a creepy squirrely little guy with anger issues. He was sweet sometimes - like every other psycho - but his controlling nature was always a scary sight. But he helped Bobby keep the shop and helped them pay for the funeral cost of their Mom so he was an honorary friend at least.

Why was Chuck so generous to help them? Fuck if any of them know but they weren’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. That’s for sure.

“Stop fidgeting, boy!” Bobby slapped Sam’s hand away from him loosening his tie and pulled him down to fix it again.

“Ow! Uncle Bobby, that’s too tight!”

“Stop whining. We’re already late as it is.” He said patting Sam’s shoulders when he was done. Sam made a face of distaste as he rolled his eyes. Lucky for him Bobby didn’t catch him. “Dean come here. Let me fix your damn-”

“No! No. I got it.” Dean smiled reassuringly at him as he quickly tried to fix it but he wasn’t quick enough as Bobby pulled him down to fix it again. Dean groaned as he did tighten it but it was loosened just enough so he wouldn’t struggle to breathe. “Thanks, Uncle Bobby.”

Bobby looked at all three of them with a proud grin. “Now behave yourselves. This family hates us enough.”

“What an encouraging speech.” Dean commented while Charlie grimaced at all of them.

“Just stay in the background and the sooner we can leave without causing a scene the better. Got it?” The three of them nodded half-heartedly. “Good! Let’s go. Keep close.”

They started walking behind Bobby and into the funeral home. Dean kept his eyes down not wanting to look at anyone in the surprisingly crowded place. Well, not surprising. The Novak family was huge. The family of seven was big enough but then add all the damn cousins these guys had and it was a full house. Some people were even standing outside so they could talk.

It took Dean a solid 15 minutes to even find a parking spot - he ended up parking a block away - because the small parking lot quickly filled up.

So with this crowded place, he was hoping he wouldn’t have to bump into Cas. At least not bump into him so soon but of course, he’ll be the one welcoming people in.

“Fuck.” Dean hissed under his breath as his eyes met Cas’s.

Cas stiffened at the sight of him - which always made someone feel welcomed - before he forced a smile. But Dean can still read that face like a damn open book. His jaw is clenched just enough for people not to notice the stiffness while his hands fidgeted into his suit pants pocket. Yeah, well, Dean was uncomfortable too. Cas ain’t special.

Dean’s eyes traveled down Cas’s body and - bless him father cause he wants to sin - Cas looked great in a damn black floral suit. It was well fitted. Probably tailored since that is the type of family the Novak’s were and lucky for Dean it hugged him in all the right places. Dean’s eyes drifted to down only to notice there was a hand wrapped around his lower back.

Dean’s breath caught in his throat.

“Hey, Cas.” Sam stepped in front of him first and wrapped Cas into one of his big bear hugs. “Nice seeing you again but I’m sorry for your loss.”

Cas barely had his chin on Sam’s shoulder as he patted Sam’s back awkwardly. “Thank you, Sam.” Cas pulled back to smile at him. “I hope we can catch up before I leave. I would like to hear more about your studies on witchcraft.”

“How’d you-?” Sam asked but Cas motioned at the guy standing next to him. The guy that just had his arms around Cas’s waist. As if claiming him.

“Michael told me you two talked yesterday.” And then Cas turned to look at Dean. “Mick I know you meet Sam and Bobby but this is Sam’s older brother. Dean.”

Fuck you, Cas.

“Oh, Dean! I heard a lot about you from my Cas here.” He nudged Cas, who awkwardly laughed before he held his hand out for Dean to shake. “Nice to finally meet you.”

Fuck this fucker and his dumb accent. Dean narrows his eyes at him, trying to read him. As if he would see any red flags or alarms over his head. But he looked like someone he would root for on the British Bake Off and he hated him for that.

Charlie nudged him to shake the outstretched hand but Dean wouldn’t budge. He instead shrugged at him. “Um, germs, man. But nice to meet one of Cas’s friends.”

Charlie pinched his arm at that comment while Cas rolled his eyes, his shoulders dropping with a tired sigh before he glared at Dean. Mick only laughed as he took his hand back but then he wrapped it around Cas’s waist again and Dean regretted not preoccupying that fucking hand.

“Fiance actually.” Mick grinned up at Cas who strained a smile. “Hmm, I figured Sam would have told you.”

Dean mocked a smile. “Oh, he did! Shit must have slipped my mind.”

“Dean.” Cas almost growled at him.

Dean chewed on his bottom lip for a second before swallowing hard. He turned his hard smile on Cas. “I know. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry, Cas, we’ll keep an eye on him.” Sam tells him as he starts to shove Dean ahead where Bobby already disappeared to find a chair in some sad corner probably.

“Um, sorry for your loss.” Charlie gave Cas a quick hug. “Oh, I’m Charlie by the way. New best friend but it’s nice to meet you! I mean...wished it was under better circumstances but what can you do?”

She started to nervously laugh and Sam tugged at her arm to drag her along as well.

“Bye!” Charlie waved at them awkwardly, Dean saw Cas wave back with a grin and raised an eyebrow, before she sighed. “Wow, that was awkward.”

“Oh, you think so?” Dean sarcastically says while Sam’s too big arm wraps around his shoulders, probably to hold him in place. “This place better have an open bar.”

“It’s a funeral, Dean. Not a damn party.”

“Meh.” Dean shrugged before they found Bobby in the back row sneaking a sip of a flask. “Give it here, old man!”

#Destiel #Deancas #Supernatural #SPN #A More Profound OTP #My Writing #WormstacheWrites #destiel fanfic #destiel fic #mutual pinning #angst #destiel au #hey is this considered slow burn? #only a few chapters left I promise

[cherry-gemz]

The City by The Bay: Part III

Summary: Fates push you and a handsome and known stranger into each other's paths. His chilvary and good looks make you take a leap into his world and more.

Previous Chapters:

Pairing: Keanu Reeves x Y/N (F!Reader)

Rating: PG, fluff

Word Count: 1500+/-

A/N: Much fluff in this chapter, will pick up more speed in the next, but hope you enjoy.

Who might be interested: @whiskeyslullabye ​ @marissat1998 @aestheticallywinchester ​ @fookingbetch ​

*************

The fluorescent lights flicker as Keanu switches the switch up. They domino on and your eyes open to the garage full of motorcycles, his toys. You smile slightly as he beams and holds out his hands in a gratifying gesture.

"My second favorite room!" He says as he takes your hand and leads you through the room. There are a dozen bikes or so and you're impressed.

"Was the bike we rode earlier not enough?" You joke as you admire his collection.

"Heh, some collect guns...which I do own a few...others collect these babies," he replies as he slaps his hand on one of his own bikes. "Personal favorite."

You look at him, "Not the one we rode earlier?"

"That is a favorite, it's from ARCH -"

"Oh, is it the KRGT-1? That's what we were on?"

His mouth is agape, "Are you into bikes?"

"Me? Oh no, definitely not an officinado, but um, well I'm quite embarrassed to say this…but I'm a fan of yours. I have watched an interview or two of you discussing motorcycles."

You blush ever so slightly at your confession, hoping he doesn't think too much into it.

"A fan, huh?"

"Well I obviously knew who you were when I had come to my senses this morning after our run in. But don't worry...not a stalker." You laugh nervously.

He smiles, "That's exactly what a stalker would say."

Your eyes widen, "What? Oh no, I...I've put my foot in my mouth."

"It's okay, Y/N. I've met stalkers. And while they are lovely people at heart, they're fanatic and obtuse, you don't have the stalker MO."

A sense of calmness rushes over you and you hope that you hadn't turned him off the idea of knowing more about you.

He changes gears and seems unphased, "But yes, the KRGT-1 is what we rode earlier. But this baby right here, is a Gordon Commando. Lots of miles on this one, good memories."

You peer over at the metal bike and it's classic look and nod, "I'm touched you would show me a personal favorite."

Your phone buzzes, but you quickly ignore it as he walks over to a wall of helmets and selects two, tosses one over to you. He reaches into his leather jacket pocket and clicks the garage opener.

"You're also gonna ride the personal favorite," he smiles mischievously and swings a leg over the bike and peers back to you.

"What? Are you serious?"

"Yeah, hop on," he grabs his keys from his jeans pocket and starts the ignition. It purrs loudly and he ramps it up and waggles his brows to you.

“I’m not sure…” you reply hesitantly as your phone goes off again. You quickly grab it and your client sent a text that they need to reschedule. A tinge in your heart shot through and you smiled.

“Everything okay?” He asks looking back at you.

“Yes, just fine.”

“I wanted to grab some food on the way where I’d like us to go, but didn’t you say you had a client's lunch?” He shouts over the engine.

“I did, but I am now available. Let’s go grab a bite.”

“Yeah? Oh that’s awesome!”

You pull the helmet over your head and manuver your purse to the side of your hip as you mount the bike.

"Ready?" He shouts over the noise of the engine and you give him a thumbs up.

*

You hold tight to his waist and bury your face into his leather jacket. It's a bit nippy and the pace of the motorcycle chills you slightly. You could hold onto him forever. It's all a dream really. Who would have thought just hours before you were a normal person out to get coffee. Now, you're riding a motorcycle with Keanu Reeves. Twice. And been to his house where he made you cappuccino and let you borrow a book. This universe you're in is most likely to dissipate and you wake up in bed any minute now. He had stopped at a mom and pop burger joint and had sworn their cheeseburgers were ethereal.

After a scenic route, you find yourself noticing the massive Redwood trees that wind up and down the Pacific Coast. Muir Woods. One of your favorite places to center yourself. You’ve walked the trails before and enjoyed the beach, but this time was different. It was with him. He pulls over to the side of the road and you hear the waves crash against the shore. As you both hop off and remove your helmets, he gestures to take the bag of food off your hands and you willingly do so.

"C'mon, let's go down to the beach," he says. You nod and you follow him onto the sand. You've always hated sand in your shoes, so you slip off your ballet flats and toss them aside. A mischievous grin appears on his face and he slips off his boots. He reaches for your hand and you look to it for a moment.

He smiles warmly and you accept his invitation and hold tight as you both scamper off to the water.

A few short minutes and breaths later you laugh as the wind picks up and pushes your hair to your face. He flashes a grin and is close to you, neither have spoken for some time, but somehow understand each other. He gently tucks a tendril of your hair behind your ear and gazes into your eyes: His are deep and expressive. The laugh lines appear and you can tell he's genuinely happy.

He plops to the sand and sits crossed legged and rummages through the white paper bag of greasy goodness.

You sit next to him and watch as he digs out a translucent paper wrapped burger and hands it to you.

"Fries are in the bag. Ketchup?" You nod and he sifts through the bag further and pulls out a ketchup packet as if he's found gold. "Ah-ha!"

"Okay, let's see what the big fuss is all about," you say and bite into the juicy patty. Your mouth ignites full of flavor, your eyes widen. "Omigosh…"

He looks at you, "Right?"

You nod in agreement and let out a slight moan which makes him laugh.

"Nice to know I can impress a chef," he states and bits into his burger.

"This is out of this world, wow."

"A hidden gem. Found it a few months ago when I went riding up here. I usually try to make sure I can give back to the community whenever I'm in location. I lie finding little spots like this."

"You have a good heart you know."

He bashfully turns his head and looks to the sea.

"Thank you…" he replies softly. "But I just do what everyone else does, nothing special."

You can tell he shies away from compliments and doesn't need flattery, and he tries change the subject.

"So tell me what is your favorite food?" He asks as you bites into your burger again.

Your mouth is full and you try to talk and then realizes you can't reply, then moves into a laugh instead.

"Sorry, finish your bite. I'll tell you mine…"

You nod and wipe your mouth with your jacket sleeve.

"Steak and potatoes. Pizza. Comfort food y'know?"

You nod again.

"And marshmallows."

"Marshfhmallows?" You reply, still chewing on your food.

"Heh yeah."

"Like s'mores?" You finally finish your bite.

"No, like a marshmallow. No graham cracker, no chocolate."

"But roasted?"

"Yeah, definitely," he smiles.

"Interesting…well my favorite food…" you start as you look up to think and then quickly dive your hand into the bag. "...has to be French Fries."

He laughs as you toss a few fries into your mouth.

"I take it you won't be sharing?" He asks as you playfully lick your fingers clean.

"Most definitely not," you tease.

He starts to open his mouth when suddenly thunder claps and you peer into the sky. Large, black clouds start to roll in and Keanu quickly gets up and grabs the food. You follow suit as he extends his hand again and you smile.

Another clap echoes and rain starts to fall heavily on the two you. You squeal as you try to run through the sand together and quickly arrive at your shoes. The rain falls heavily and quickly and eventually you both make it to the bike. Keanu tosses the bag in a nearby wastebasket and you throw on your helmets.

*

You shut your eyes tight and let the rest of your senses ignite as the rain drops fall. The coldness of the breeze continues to brush your face and makes the tip of your nose tint pink. You can smell the rain and salty sea in the air, it's distant, but permeates enough to your nose. You can still taste the remembrance of the cappuccino on your tongue and bite your lip in anticipation that it never leaves.

Lastly that glorious sound of the engine purrs to you. It's a new sound you're not too familiar with, but it's one you could definitely get used to. It's the sound of the heart that beats through his chest, it's calming and pure. It's one you'd like to call home.

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves fanfic #romance #keanu reeves x reader #the city by the bay #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu x reader

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

Spoons? What spoons?

Hi yall! Been meaning to check in for a while :3 put under a read more cuz goddamn it has been a while.

SO when last we met LOLOL or some other opener... xD

Dad

Dad’s doing as well as can be expected. His brain is more or less getting back to normal (mom says its not; I told her she’s just seeing him for the first time proper and all the cruel shit he’s saying/doing is very much in-character for him when he’s not always stoned, but thanks to therapy I have the words and stuff to communicate all that abusive shit to her now; I love him but I hate him but we’ll touch on that xD). He’s had three amputations so far and he’s developed osteomyelitis (bone infection) so he’s been doing 2hr ‘dives’ in the Hyperbaric chamber every other day to fight it up to 10 dives. I’m told its $200,000 treatment which their new health insurance is fully paying for cuz one surgery already hit the $20,000 premium (don’t even get me started on THAT fight I had to do to get them signed up so we’d still have a place to live- they don’t ‘believe’ in insurance cuz they dont know shit... lawsuits are still pending and will be for the next 2-3yrs i expect). So... yeah. Mom has stepped up with a lot of stuff and she’s better educated on it all too thank fuck.

Thank fuck for therapy

The entire time dad’s stuff has been taking place, I’ve been attempting therapy, which was never explained to me properly/offered of ‘why am i here’ sort of thing, soooo about 4months (5-6 sessions of 30min therapy) turned out to be a COMPLETE waste of time. I’m on mediCal and the clinic they assigned me to only deals with mild-moderate trauma and can only see me for max. of six months when most patients make an improvement. Asking the therapist when we’d actually get to the trauma and triggers and all the other shit I’ve been pursuing therapy for two years over resulted in some clarity and I’ve been putting off making the phone call X_X My therapist only deals with singular trauma, and she said I have complex/multiple trauma with PTSD, and there’s no possible way (in my opinion and hers as well) I’d get any modicum of ‘better’ in six months cuz I’m too damaged, so like... that’s fun to know. I’ve been living in denial about my quality of life for decades and hearing it from a professional has considerably destroyed my sense of self (as it should tbh cuz these rose colored glasses are made of broken bottles LOL). Everything about myself revolves around survival tactics so I’m kind of floundering about living in lies (cuz coming to terms with trauma you’ve convinced yourself doesn’t actually bother you too much will do that, and ‘fawning’ is apparently one of the flight/fight responses and hardcore how i’ve lived these past decades) sooooo that’s what I’m dealing with and it’s super painful to come to terms with. If you’ve ever had to eat fast-food ketchup packets cuz you’re so hungry as a child and there’s nothing else you can have and they’re free, WELP then you might have a very very small window of what my quality of life has been like (: and me and my sister just thought we were fat kids for always being hungry constantly LOL

Also thank fuck for brain medication

On the good news end, I’ve officially been medicated just over 2months for my adhd :D I’m on atomoxetine (strattera) and it’s COMPLETELY gotten rid of my executive dysfunction, I can get up in the morning regardless of how much sleep I’ve gotten, and I have much more energy and motivation to do stuff :) My medication isn’t a stimulant but works on the adrenal glands (which I suspected from various other body ailments might be the source of a LOT of my problems-- especially the chronic fatigue- and if the meds took them away, then I was right, and they did, so.... adrenal gland fixer yay!) and anyways it’s improved life a lot. It gives me goosebumps sometimes too which is funny but I’m real happy with it. If anyone has any questions, I’ve always been a loud mouth irl about my disorders in order to be visible and unashamed for others, and I’ve helped a lot of peers irl with mental bullshit and I’m always willing to pay it forward! :)

The doom and gloom stuff xD

I’m trying to get back into writing. Desperately. I spend time at night writing a couple of sentences when it’s quiet, but then I usually pass out in five minutes cuz tbh I don’t really sleep anymore and I haven’t since dad’s accident so progress on my creative endeavors is going very very slow. Lord knows I have the fucking time rn. I’ve been getting one shift a week at work since June cuz there’s NO hours, so I’m freaking out about money (i’m probably gonna open commissions again), and my life, and my age, and how I’ll never get out of fucking debt at this rate, and how I’m so fucking mentally fucked cuz I can’t do two/three jobs with my fucking adhd and shit, and I want to move out but I can’t live with other people cuz of the aforementioned trauma/distrust and it’s not like anywhere is affordable anyways in this hell country soooo. Yeah. I’m at the point of taking out balance transfers from credit cards to deposit cash into my bank account cuz i can’t fucking survive otherwise and I guess I’ll figure that out next month. I joke around but are any of you an escort/have you done that kind of work before/could I ask questions? >_> I need options. If I could sell an organ for about $25k i’d just do that but i AM desperate and I’m open to any and all suggestions for quick cash no matter how demeaning. Can’t demean someone who’s used to it all their life! :D Real talk tho i’m not kidding, if anyone could point me to some resources, DM me :|

So yeah that’s what’s up in a nutshell. Really REALLY wanna write and finish some shit... existential dread and basic survival is getting in the way of that. Bear with me though, it’s been a very very tough year but nothing has been abandoned and I’m definitely around. Just rarely have the spoons to do shit :D

#poisonjack jabbers #you'd never guess i once had a million-dollar life insurance policy would you? or a government job with perks. fuck i miss japan. #i've got 4 side hustles that bring in maybe $200 every other month/every three months and its low maintenance but it aint enough #i promise im not miss negativity i'm just burnt out and disappointed with myself that im not doing more while i have the time :\ #i'd love to go back to bartending but i can't mask anymore and most of the assholes at bars rn are unvaxxed and im vaxxed but still at risk #theres a bikini bar in town i thought to apply to but i need to lose some weight first before they'll accept me and thats hard x_x #anywho im pretty certain im gonna open fic commissions again sooooo thats something :D

[yikesharringrove]

Nb Steve as requested by @takemebythehand-andsetmefree

Happy Pride!

Here is a link to my post about Harringrove for BLM, and here is a link to Writers/Artists Against Police Brutality

Here’s also a link to the Masterlist of Harringrove for BLM coutesy of @harringrovetrashh

Thank you all for organizing, participating, and donating.

-

There is an instance where Steve gets misgendered, not by malicious intent, but it still happens, so take care of yourselves, don’t read if that could harm you.

-

“I think I’m a girl.”

This revelation wasn’t totally shocking to Billy.

Steve loved pretty things. Could be found more often than not jamming around in a little skirt, lots of makeup. So Billy just said

“Okay, Baby. Then I love my gorgeous girlfriend.”

And that was so sweet and all, but to Steve it still didn’t, it felt just as bad as boyfriend.

“Actually, maybe not.”

-

“I think maybe there’s something wrong with me.”

They were in Steve’s bed together, Steve laying practically on top of Billy.

“What makes you say that?”

“Parts of me feel like I’m a girl, and parts of me feel like I’m a boy. But all of me hates both of those options. I mean, I love looking like a girl, but when you, when you said girlfriend, Bill that felt just as fucking bad as boyfriend. I think I’m broken.” Billy shifted around until Steve was looking right at him.

“You are not broken. You are beautiful and amazing and confused. But you are far from broken. There’s more in the world than girl and boy. You can be anything, anyone.

“Back in California, I knew all kinds of people. I had friends all along the trans umbrella. I had a friend who was a trans guy, but preferred presenting for feminine. I had androgynous friends that presented however they pleased. I had friends who identified as no gender, or all the genders. I had a friend whose gender identity would change on any given day. Gender is fucking fake, and if you’re not comfortable with whatever you were assigned at birth, make something new for yourself.”

“I think that I’m somewhere in between. Not a woman, but not a man.” Billy grabbed the notbad next to Steve’s bad, drew a horizontal line across it.

“So basically, think of gender as a spectrum. Over here you’ve got women. This includes trans women, who are women that were assigned male at birth. One the other side you’ve got men, which includes trans men. In the middle, you’ve got nonbinay folks. Nonbinary is an umbrella term that just means these people live outside of man and woman. This includes agender people, who have no gender, and people who identify as more than one gender, like bigender or pangender. All along the scale you have people who are genderfluid and genderflux, whose definition of their own gender may slide along the scale at any given moment. You also have people that identify as demiboy, or reversely, demigirl, people that only identify partially as boy or girl, respectively. There’s also the idea of being transmasc, or transfem which are people who were assinged a gender at birth, but identitfy more with the other, without completely identify themselves as trans. So a person assigned male at birth who doesn’t consider themselves a transwoman, but more comfortably identities with feminity as a concept.”

He held out the drawing to Steve.

“There’s also different pronouns, and this isn’t even touching the intersex scale. Gender is so fucking whack, Sweet Thing.

“There’s a lot of different ways to play with it, and each person is so different. You can identify one way and present in a way that isn’t stereotypical to how you identify. And no one can tell you you’re wrong. Because you’re not.”

Steve was studying the drawing with wide eyes.

“Pronouns?”

“Like how I was assigned male at birth, and identify as male, so I use he/him pronouns. People along this scale can use whatever pronouns feel best. Some people use they and them so that they aren’t being gendered, and there are other gender neutral pronouns, like ze/zir and ve/ver.”

“But I mean, they is like, it’s plural.”

“Nah. They has always been used as a gender neutral pronoun. Plus, if it feels best, it can mean whatever the fuck you want it to.”

“So I could, I could like, be a them.”

“If that feels good.”

“Use it for me. Let me see.”

“Okay, um, I was laying in bed with my significant other, Steve and they were asking me questions about gender identity and expression. Afterwards I made them a cup of tea and cuddled them all night.” Steve’s eyes opened back up.

“Bill, that’s, fuck, that’s it.”

“They?”

“They. That felt, it felt good. I didn’t, I don’t even know.” Billy squished them tighter to himself.

“I’m glad, Baby.”

“So, does that make me nonbinary?” Billy just looked at them.

“Does it? You tell me, Sweet Thing.”

“I think so. Nonbinary. So like, maybe transfem? But I think I would be more agender”

“If that’s what’s true. You can call yourself nonbinary and leave it at that, or you can take as many labels as you feel fit. It’s your identity. Fuck with it as you see fit.”

Steve was worrying their lip.

“And you don’t mind?”

“Mind what?”

“That I’m not, not a guy.” Billy pressed a kiss to their forehead.

“‘Course I don’t min. You’re still you. You’re gender doesn’t matter to me at all. As long as you’re happy and comfortable and safe. That’s what matters to me.”

-

Steve needed to tell the party.

They spent so much time with the gaggle of kids, and kept getting fucking misgendered. Not that it was their fault, they didn’t know Steve was using different pronouns now.

“Look, I know those little Gen-Z’ers aren’t gonna care. I mean they see me in makeup and dresses and shit all the time, but this feels, big.” Billy was driving them over to the Byers’ place where all the kids were waiting. “But, but what if they take it wrong. What if they just think I’m this confused girl or something. Or they say I need to make up my mind.” Billy reached over to grab their hand.

“If they do, I’ll punch ‘em out. One by one. Fuck them kids.”

But they all took it so fucking well, it was actually anticlimactic.

“I mean, it’s pretty obvious you don’t conform to a gender binary.” Dustin hadn’t even looked up from their campaign as Steve fucking came out. “But like, thanks for telling us. And trusting us. You’re pretty brave I guess.”

Steve rolled their eyes.

“Thanks. You’re all so sweet and sensitive. I was shitting myself on the way over, and none of you are even fazed.”

“Yeah, I saw this coming.” Lucas rolled one of his dice.

“Do you want to do it again? We’ll all pretend to think you’re disgusting and call you a freak or something. Would that be better?” Mike had a challenging look on his face. Steve just slumped into the couch.

“No. Whatever. It’s fine.” They were actually pouting.

“What, you wanted like, a Lifetime movie moment? Where we all cry and say that we love you regardless and pretend we literally all didn’t see this coming?” Mike rolled his eyes.

“I mean, a little pomp and circumstance would be nice. Accepting myself and coming out to you all was a bunch of breakdowns in the making.” Dustin threw himself dramatically onto Steve’s lap.

“Oh! Oh, Steven! My sweet dear loved one! This is shocking news! But my love for you will never crumble! If anything, it is fortified!” Steve just laughed and shoved Dustin off their lap.

“Brat.”

-

“Can I just get a cheeseburger and fries?” The peppy waitress was twirling her ponytail, batting her eyes at Billy like Steve wasn’t right fucking there.

“Of course. Anything else for you?” She pat her eyes. Billy just blinked at her, completely dead-eyed. He gestured to Steve.

“Sorry, Girl. Didn’t see you!” She tried to laugh it off. Steve’s blood went cold.

“I’ll get the same please.” Her eyes widened at the sound of Steve’s voice, still deep, still masculine, despite the light blue dress, the pretty makeup.

“Oh, sorry. I’ll get that right out for you boys.” She shot away, embarrassed. Steve let their head fall onto the table.

Billy ran his fingers through their hair.

“Two for the price of one misgenderings.” They muttered into the table. Billy was gently scraping his nails into their scalp. “That was like getting kicked while down Jesus.”

“I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I’m sorry I can’t totally understand how shitty it makes you feel.” They sat in silence for a moment until Billy tugged on their hair as the waitress approached with their food. She set it down cautiously.

“Could we get some ketchup, please. And they’re gonna want mustard.” Steve smiled weakly at him, they way he overemphasized using they.

“Um, of course. Anything else?”

“Could you grab them another water?” It was just less than half-full, but Billy couldn’t be stopped.

The waitress just blushed, filling Steve’s water and placing ketchup and mustard on their table with a little enjoy.

“Bill, she didn’t mean to.”

“Yeah, but she still did. And I wanted you to stop feeling invalidated.” Billy shoved the burger in his mouth.

Steve just smiled at him, told him he ate like a pig.

#yikes writes #harringrove for blm #writers/artists against police brutality #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove drabble #harringrove ficlet #nonbinary!steve #nonbinary steve harrington #nonbinary!steve harrington #nb!steve #nb!steve harrington #nb steve harrington #nb steve

[angelguk]

ttinty author's commentary 🤡 I know u despise that fix but I just want to know what went on in your pretty big smart brain when u wrote/thought abt it heh

that monstrosity omg 

The idea for TTINTY (which was originally titled The Things I Never Said) came to me after talking to a male friend about the whole No Nut November thing. I just found it funny and then my brain connected it to Jungkook (and more importantly Taehyung) and somehow... A story was made. What I initially wanted was more of a crack based fic (before I realised I’m not funny enough for that), which went something like this: 

document title: peepeepoopoo (I wrote this during a wordsprint session with @ubemango) 

Premise: No Nut November + Jeongguk + Best Friends 2 Lovers

Jeongguk looks incredibly smug when he slides into the sit beside you, his hot dog leaking ketchup through the paper bag. He kicks your foot fondly as he shrugs off the thick black puffer jacket you're sure he stole from Yoongi's closet.

"Do you even taste anything beside ketchup on that thing?" You mumble through a mouth full of your noodles, in lieu of a greeting. The lack of nutritious food in his diet was starting to become concerning. You're starting to think his dick is covered in hot cheeto dust and that he nuts ketchup. Jeongguk rolls his eyes at your comment, unwrapping the vile thing with vigour. He takes a massive bite before he musters up a response.

There’s about 5k more words in the first draft version. But JK was definitely more of an idiot in that version. As you can see here in this lovely text exchange:

jaykay (00:38)

fine

only cause u asked nicely :)

sweet dreams babe

dream of my massive dick :)

And there’s this m-rated scene (genuinely hate writing the p-word I’m censoring that):

"Can I help?" He croaks out, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

You halt at that, fingers falling from your censored. You don't miss the way his breath hitches when your slick slips out of you, coating your fingers.

"You want to help?"

He nods slowly, like he's afraid you'll kick him out instead. You pause to think it over, pretending like you're considering telling him no when you already know you can't. Jeongguk waist with his breathe caught in his throat. He's requested for a lot tonight and he's terrified he's pushed the line with that one. But he can't help it. You look so pretty and soft with your legs spread apart and he just wants to touch. His fingers itch with that yearning. It doesn't help his dick has been neglected for over a week now. There's a tightness in his balls that makes him feel reckless.

"You don't have to touch me," You say, trying to deter yourself from exposing how much you would like Jeongguk's hands on you. "You could just jerk off over there."

That sounds like the most unappealing thing to Jeongguk right now, especially when you're right across the room, cunt wet and ready. "I could do that," He says, trying to bite down his desires. "If that's what you're more comfortable with."

"Okay," You say, throat dry.

"Okay," He replies, a hand settling on the waistband of his sweat. You watch him tug them down a little, revealing his black boxers and deep v-line that makes your mouth parched. You've never watched to touch another person so bad in your life.

I really was gonna release that and I realised I fucking hated it more than anything I’ve ever done. Leading to me rewriting it all over again (special thanks to my beta reader Myonni, very patient with me honestly). 

I actually have a very detailed plan for this fic but writing it is hard because the words never sound right. I’ve bounced this idea on so many people (bless them) and every time something just feels off and missing no matter how I rearrange the story. Perhaps my heart is just not in it. This initial idea was so funny to me and I really wanted you guys to read a particular scene (it was about Nayoung.... I love her a lot actually). But for now the story can live on ao3. I might update sporadically but no promises. 

#ask #anon #directors cut #i wish i could transport the story directly from head into urs but i have to write it ugh

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry? Yes. I took this adulthood and aging psychology class and I forget what it was exactly the documentary we had to watch was about, but I remember being on the verge of tears because it reminded me of my grandpa who passed away. 

What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? Uhh, I don’t know? Just whenever I fall asleep.

What is you favorite type of lunch meat? Turkey, salami, and bologna.

What time of the year do you dislike the most? Summertime. 

Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? Ew, no. 

What is your favorite color to wear? Black.

Are you an overachiever? No. Especially not these past few years where I haven’t done anything at all and put like no effort into anything. :/ At least when I was in school and things were better than how they’ve been the past few years I was productive in school and put effort into things and into myself. I’ve just given up. 

What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? Perfect teeth.

What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'Hara) would you marry? Uh, I definitely don’t want to marry Bambi... anyway, I’d say one of the characters Alexander Skarsgard has played.

How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? I don’t know, a couple weeks or so.

Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? Ha, yeah, when I was like 16 during my emo days. They’re so cringe.

What is your favorite thing about your life? My family.

Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? No.

How many real bfs/gfs have you had? I honestly haven’t had a real, serious relationship.

Did you enjoy your past relationships? With Joseph I did.

Name a comedy that you like. Bridesmaids.

Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah, but I don’t plan on getting married.

What’s the best Nirvana song? Lithium.

What was the last thing that impressed you? Hmm. I don’t recall.

When was the last time you were in a pet store? It’s been awhile.

What nationality is your last name? Irish, I think.

What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip? Wavy Lay’s chips with ranch and French onion dip.

Who was the last boy that you saw cry? My brother.

Does your mom know you do surveys? I don’t think so.

Have you ever had a serious injury? Yeah, the one that made me a paraplegic.

What was the last thing you achieved? Uhhh.

Would you enjoy being famous? I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be famous.

What’s under your bed? Some medical supplies.

Do you enjoy travelling? Yes.

Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? I was in a couple clubs in high school and the psych club in community college.

When was the last time you drank strawberry milk? It’s been a very long time.

Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set? Hmm, I don’t recall. I might have.

Do you have a clock in your room? Yes, apart from the ones on my laptop, TV and phone, I have an actual wall clock as well.

Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher? I didn’t take driver’s ed.

Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite? Hmm. Probably Toxic, Slave 4 U, Boys, and Lucky.

Does mind over matter work for you? Sometimes.

Are you paranoid? I definitely can be.

What is the best thing about winter? Christmastime and the weather. I love that time of year.

Have you ever been truly in love? I think so.

Are you currently planning a trip? No, I wish.

How many plants are in your home? Zero.

What is your favorite possession? All my stuff.

Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? Yeah. I’ve been used and taken advantage of back in the day for being too nice.

What movies have tripped you out? There’s been a few.

Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? No.

Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? I’d like to say no, but I allowed Joseph to use and play me for 3 years, so. I knew deep down he didn’t feel the same way as I did and he didn’t want to be in a committed relationship with me, but I didn’t want to admit it. I liked the attention and the good times we had and I didn’t want to give that up. I would hope that now that I’m older and have experienced that I wouldn’t allow it to happen again. And yes, I had a friend who put up with a whole lot worse for that reason.

Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that. I don’t want that floating around or existing at all out there.

Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? No.

What summertime treats do you love? Milkshakes and ice cream.

How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I mean, I have to be interested in the person and feel comfortable doing so.

What do you hate most about moving? The packing and unloading.

Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? I wouldn’t know.

Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? Just the Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

Has anyone ever whistled at you? Not that I know of.

Do you like scarves? No. I don’t like things around my neck like that, it drives me nuts.

Is your father homophobic? No.

Do you take gummy vitamins? No. I don’t take vitamins at all, currently, although I really should.

Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all? No.

Who would you like to meet before you die? I mean, I certainly wouldn’t mind meeting Alexander Skarsgard.

If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? I don’t feel comfortable being nude when I’m just by myself, I certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so publicly. Absolutely not.

What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? There’s been a lot, but of course I’m blanking at the moment. Most are pretty crazy, though.

If Heaven and Hell exists, where are you going when you die? I hope that  go to heaven.

Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? My loved ones. 

What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? Ugh, seems like just about anything can. I’m so irritable and moody all the time.

Is there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? Yeah, me.

Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself? I loved Decode and Super Massive Blackhole. 

How old was the first person you kissed? He was 15 and I was 16.

Will you be a strict parent one day? I don’t want to have kids.

Last person to stand up for you? I don’t recall the last time I needed to be stood up for.

Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah, I’ve been to a few.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My mom and brother to see Candyman.

What’s your favorite high school memory? I liked the rallies and some of the assemblies.

Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single? Being single is best for me.

What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? I don’t know. I’m such a scardy cat.

What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Math.

Italian food or Chinese food? Italian.

Do you like to make flash cards when you study? That wasn’t my usual study method, no. I preferred taking notes.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Ha, uh no.

Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? I only watched those when they were shown in some of my college classes or was assigned to for homework. I’ve never watched any on my own.

I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. I don’t feel that way about anyone.

What do you think about Marilyn Manson? I have nothing to say about him tbh. <<<

Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? I didn’t get into trouble.

Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? No.

Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? I don’t care.

Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? Yeah, I got all 4.

Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? No.

Jalapeños: yay or nay? I loved jalapenos back when I could eat spicy food. Jalapeno poppers were bomb.

Did you ever play Minecraft? No.

Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? Yeah.

Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense? Ha, yeah. 

What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? I’m the victim of gun violence that made me a paraplegic at just 7 months old.

What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people and sick, perverted assholes.

If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it? There’s a lot I’d like to change. 

Describe your first relationship? It wasn’t much of one but we had the title, ha. It also only lasted a few months.

Describe your last relationship? He used and played me and then kicked me to the curb when he was done.

Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? I’m a virgin, but I absolutely would practice safe sex. That’s very important. 

Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? You just really feel, connect, and relate to certain things, like the characters and/or plot line and it has some kind of effect on you.

What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? Hopefully something good.

Do you feel protective over someone? My loved ones.

What perfume/cologne do you wear? I’ve been wearing this beachy scented body spray. I need to get a new one for fall.

Where did your vehicle come from? I don’t have my own car, I don’t drive.

What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? I’m totally blanking.

What is your favorite way to eat chicken? Boneless chicken wings and chicken tenders.

It is your birthday. You hope the cake is: White with buttercream frosting.

What do you wear to bed? What I wear during the day, which is either lounge shorts or leggings and an oversized tee or t-shirt dress.

What were you doing at 8pm last night? I was eating dinner and watching Gilmore Girls.

#personal #text #survey #surveys