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edenfenixblogs · 2 months

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Well, tuned into the Drawfee stream...

I promised I'd check it out before determining if I'd ever be able to give Drawfee another chance after this...

Verdict TL;DR: Maybe one day, but not in the foreseeable future, especially not streams. Certainly never through my financial support ever again, unless they are fundraising for a particularly worthy charity (like in the Trans Rigs stream). But luckily, I don't think they give a shit if I watch or not, which is totally fair.

Overall: The Drawfee YouTubers didn't do anything wrong. However, their lack of acknowledgement of any Jewish pain or concerns served to further digital ghettoization and social isolation of diaspora Jews in a way that many (but definitely not all) Jews will probably find painful. Between that and the really bad faith link-sharing from the mods, I'm personally too fragile to imagine engaging with the channel again.

This conclusion is geared toward fellow Jews seeking escapist content or content that doesn't make them feel erased during this time. This is not a prescriptive recommendation for anyone else. It is simply my reasoning, should anyone else be on the fence and need insight.

The Good (There was a lot of it!):

I didn't see any Drawfee folks parroting antisemitic conspiracy theories, which is good. An extremely low bar, but one that many, many people fail to clear.

They kept their tone fun and light and didn't turn anything into a diatribe

They kept their focus on humanitarian aid and an end to violence.

I think they made a few statements generally about keeping chat civil.

They kept chat limited to people who already subscribed to the channel, which was SO smart. It kept bots and bad actors from making the chat hostile.

While they all joked about silly stuff, they never jokes about real issues or the pain of anyone involved in the conflict. This is very important!!!

Chat in general was a very good place to hang out. Most people were just happy to be there and commenting about funny and fun art and it had the (mostly) typical Drawfee vibes, which I miss.

There was nothing performative or disingenuous about the team's intent: They wanted an end to violence. They wanted aid to reach Palestinian refugees. They wanted to encourage voter turnout in upcoming elections, and they wanted people to pressure their representatives to call for a ceasefire. These are all unambiguously good things.

Most importantly: They raised WELL over $100,000 for PCRF, which (despite not being totally perfect) is a very well-rated charity that has no history of its funds falling into Hamas' hands and is geared toward helping children. This matters much more overall than the stream's impact on me personally.

Ultimately, I believe the stream did more good than harm by a large margin.

The Iffy (Neither good nor bad; just things that I noticed):

Basically, none of the actual Drawfee crew did anything antisemitic that I saw. But they had a lot of missed opportunities -- to affirm solidarity and support with Jewish viewership, to acknowledge Jewish pain in any way, to advocate for a peaceful solution that left room for any negotiated peace between Jews in Israel and Palestinians in any capacity (whether that meant as Israel or as a newly formed state of some kind), or to be specific and directed in how they wanted people to approach a ceasefire.

I didn't hear any call to specifically keep the chat free of antisemitism. I tuned in a few minutes late, so maybe I missed it.

No substantial knowledge of the conflict demonstrated. Just that the current situation is unacceptable and should stop. I don't know anyone who disagrees with that (who I consider to be acting in good faith), but no language from the team about how to bring about that end to violence other than demanding a ceasefire.

Mods had a chance to add links to AllMEP charities, A Land for All, and some other Palestinian-Israeli and Arab-Israeli and Muslim-Jewish charities that support either inter-faith healing OR even just solely pro-Palestine charities that have inter-faith or inter-cultural backing. They did not add these to the shared links that I saw. (This would have been fine if they had a rigorous evaluation process and couldn't moderate and evaluate quality at the same time. But based on the links that WERE shared, I severely doubt that was the case)

Someone in the chat was repeatedly giving the very good advice that when writing your representatives to demand a ceasefire, you should demand that the US offer to facilitate a negotiated peace and permanent ceasefire between Israel and Hamas. Again, my feed crashed a couple times, so I may have missed it. But I personally did not see any of the mods or the Drawfee crew acknowledge this or mention Israeli suffering or Hamas violence once.

A least one of the mods should have been assigned fact-checking duty. Not many falsehoods were posted, but some were and community-members had to address them.

As expected there were lots of people posting watermelons, flags, and FtRttS. But, surprisingly, nobody was spamming it. I've written before about why the phrase FtRttS is upsetting to me personally, but I'll probably do a larger breakdown about i in the coming week. I appreciate that in general, people did seem to use it respectfully, in good faith, and without clear aggression toward Jewish people. There was some clear aggression toward Israelis (as in citizens not politicians), in general, but not too much or from too many people.

The Bad and Pretty Ugly (This is why I ultimately have to step away and other Jews might have to as well. At least for awhile):

Honestly, for all the care that people put into this stream, there was a general apathy toward and invisibility of Jewish people suffering in this crisis. Like I said, nobody on the on-screen Drawfee team did anything antisemitic. That was nice. Unfortunately, it didn't really seem like any actual effort was put in to determine what links were worth sharing. It was more of a "the mods like this one so it's allowed" sort of thing. Even cursory research on most of the links shared involved blatant instances of antisemitism, historical revisionism, or that just in general fell apart on any inspection whatsoever.

They could have made a lot of Jews feel seen and heard by mentioning the hostages even once, acknowledging 10/7 even once, acknowledged even once that Israel continues to be bombed from Hamas and Hezbollah daily, acknowledging that this is a war with two sides that both require an end to violence...literally any ONE of those things would have made a difference. But it was all just ignored, which is far too common when dealing with this conflict. This is especially painful for Jews who, like me, have experienced social isolation and digital ghettoization during this time. I think a lot of Jewish viewers will struggle to reconcile how this echoes a lot of the erasure that we all feel in our daily lives and in our digital spaces and in our hybrid digital and in-person communities. (<- Reblog 2 contains the accounts of The Jewish Experience of antisemitic erasure and ghettoization)Like, I do understand the argument that this is about providing humanitarian relief, but I also don't know why so many creators (and this is NOT unique to Drawfee) pretend like Jewish suffering is not relevent to ongoing discussions.

The mods posted links that supported UNRWA and some chatters spoke up in support of the UNRWA without any consequence. (All links here are verified as highly credible with high factual reporting standards via Media Bias/Fact Check and represent analysis from left-leaning, right-leaning, and least-biased sources)

One mod also posted a link to decolonizepalestine(.)com (not including the link because i don't want to support blatant propaganda). I have shared information about this terrible, bad-faith website before but there's so much more to pick apart here that I will reserve an evaluation of it as a source for a whole post of its own, unrelated to Drawfee. This website does cite its sources, but it provides no mechanism for readers to evaluate those sources. They are not hyperlinked and each individual citation must be looked up individually. I don't even have remotely enough time to do that right now. But if any of my bookwormish allies wish to tear apart those sources or the website in general, be my guest. Tagging y'all for visibility, but do not feel like I am actually asking you to do this work. It is simply something to add to the list of bad sources that we'll have to tackle at some point. cc: @comradevo @the-road-betwixt @faggotry-enjoyer @arandomshotinthedark et. al.

The mods also shared arab.org a few times. It is weird to me that they could have recommended AllMEP, which routinely emphasizes interfaith and intercultural and international cooperation and peace, but instead chose this much less evaluate-able source that excludes any efforts to find cooperative peace between Israel and Palestine. I had not heard of Arab.org before this stream and when I started to look into it, I fell into a bit of a rabbit hole:

So, first of all, Arab.org is a charity? organization? network? based in Beirut, Lebanon. I can't find them on Charity Navigator. The homepage didn't have a clear mission statement, so I navigated to the About Us tab. That gave me a little more information.

There, they state that their vision is to, "Empower people & organizations to do good." - Vague, but inoffensive. OK.

They state that they have three objectives:

Raising awareness, which they define as, "Civil society’s active role and through active collaboration." -- Vague but inoffensive.

Raising hope, which they define as, "Enabling the use of technology to innovate ways of contributing to the wellness and welfare of society." -- Vague but inoffensive.

Raising standards, which they define as, "Education, Reporting, Communication to & from civil society in the Arab World." -- Unclear, but inoffensive. Are they trying to raise the standards of these listed items within the Arab world or are they trying to raise international standards to be more inclusive of these listed items that originate from within the Arab world. And how do they define increased standards? Whose standards? IDK. This doesn't tell me anything really, but it also doesn't tell me anything bad, necessarily?

So what about their principles? Well, they list 5:

"Collaboration: Only together as a collective, can we bring about real change and betterment to society." -- OK, fine, but this still tells me nothing.

"Transparency: We conduct our business with a high level of transparency and a simple development model and we publish our impact publicly." -- Great! Excited to explore that!

"Innovation: We use our skills and creativity to make the world a better place. We want to make it possible to both inform and take action to solve the problems we discover." -- Intriguing, but how?

"Inclusion: We champion the inclusion of everyone in society, whether it is part of civic inclusion or charitable inclusion." -- This sounds really promising!!!! I'm excited to learn more!

"Leadership: We believe in taking the lead whenever wherever required by empowering individuals and organizations to influence others towards common goals." -- Gonna be honest, this just sound like vague buzzwords to me, but if they actually accomplish what they set out to do, great.

Luckily, each of these principles was clickable.

Let's start with "Collaboration"!

This takes me to a weirdly vague page with a gif of various men helping each other climb out of frame. The text below it says "We are currently on the look out for the following technology/platforms/businesses relevant to civil society" and then a list of pretty random things, some of which have checkmarks near them. Why is the formatting so strange? Why don't they all have checkmarks? Why is only the indicated section clickable but none of the other things? Where is more info about any of these items?

But fine, lets click that one clickable link about online marketplaces.

It doesn't actually take you to a marketplace but a page where artisans in the Arab world can submit their information. Submit heir information for what? Well, this is what the website says:

We understand how difficult life is for craftsmen & craftswomen to compete with mass-producing giants. We’re here to change all that. We are creating a win-win-win relationship whereby all sides benefit from our new platform “Shop to Help"

The "Shop to Help" is not clickable. I have no further information on what this is.

Fine, there's one more thing to click on this page: a list of Arab.org's partners.

First up: The Arab Institute for Women at Lebanese American University. Clicking on the info there takes me to the AIW:LAU website. Arab.org says the organization used to be called "Institute for Women’s Studies in the Arab World," but I couldn't find anything on Charity navigator for them either. Cursory research on them shows they've been around for 50 years. Fine. I'm not doing an evaluation on them right now (anyone who knows anything about them feel free to comment. I just don't have time) I was just investigating how they partner with Arab.org. I didn't find anything about that aside from a list of AIW's partners, which lists Arab.org amongst them. Clicking the link to Arab.org just takes me back to the homepage. I've learned nothing.

Next: They list Bayt.com, which is a job search site. Clicking that link takes me to the Bayt homepage. I couldn't find that addressed partnerships of any kind was their affiliate links page? But becoming an affiliate helps the affiliate make money, not Bayt. So I'm unsure what's going on or if this is even related.

Third: Building Markets. As far as I can tell, this is a real organization. I also cannot find them on Charity navigator, nor can I find any information about how they partner with Arab.org from their website. They do clearly share their financial information, though, which is great. I neither endorse nor condemn this organization. I'm not investigating them right now.

Fourth: Takreem Foundation. I CAN FIND THEM ON CHARITY NAVIGATOR! But they aren't rated. A search of the Takreem website shows no affiliation with Arab.org or accessible financial information.

Fifth: #GivingTuesday Woohoo! They are on Charity Navigator and have a pretty high rating! However, there's no evidence of a link between them and Arab.org, and the organization claims to have no list of official partners or participating organizations. Odd. Did Arab.org run a #GivingTuesday campaign and highlight #GivingTuesday instead of the organization they were giving to? Idk. And I don't have time to figure it out.

Sixth: CSR Engine. It's just a website with nothing on it except the statement "World’s first business for good solution to assign & align CSR activities seamlessly using AI and blockchain technology," which is the same text available about it from the Arab.org partners page. It does show it's affiliation with Arab.org...by listing Arab.org as a customer and then linking back to the Arab.org homepage. WHAT IS GOING ON.

Finally, and buckle up for this one cuz its a doozy, Greenpeace: I'd actually heard of this one, but I don't really know anything about it. Clicking Greenpeace doesn't even take you to the real Greenpeace MENA site. It just takes you to Arab.org's really weird write up page about Greenpeace. So, instead, I searched for Greenpeace on Charity navigator, where it got a 100% rating. Awesome! I clicked the charity navigator link, which took me to the Greenpeace Fund website. But wait a second. What's their connection to Arab.org? Well, there was no search function on the GreenpeaceFund website. So, I typed Greenpeace into google and uh?????

What?

That was surprising. I clicked the link and...

It showed me a totally different website...

Than the one I was just on...

Mods and the Drawfee crew stopped people from sharing links unless those people were mods. That was a super good choice which I fully support. But why did the mods share THESE links?

Well, I had the websites both open in side-by-side tabs.

That's...odd... So I studied the URLs more closely...

The lighter green G that's less pixelated? THAT ONE is the Greenpeace Fund. That is the one with penguins and a 100% charity navigator score.

The one with the lime green, pixelated G? That's Greenpeace International, a conspiracy/pseudoscience website with low crediblity.

But hey, the Greenpeace International website says there's a MENA-based branch. And, upon closer inspection, the Greenpeace International MENA website is the one that was linked on the Arab.org page. Maybe that one was better?

Clicking it took me to the Greenpeace MENA site...

which gave me another blinking Conspiracy Alert Icon from Media Bias Fact Check.

Just to be safe, I typed Greenpeace MENA into google, and fam... it is not better.

PS: searching ANY Greenpeace website for Arab.org showed no results.

In one last-ditch effort, I checked the Transparency page, where Arab.org claims to be "leading by example" in sharing all their documentation for charitable donations. And y'all it's fucking weird.

Let's stick with Greenpeace cuz they're already open tabs on my computer.

First of all, Arab.org's "leading by example" financial disclosures...

...are literally just the "Thank you for donating" receipts that you get whenever you donate to any cause. It's fucking weird.

And yeah, you read that right. For all of the 4th financial quarter of 2023, Arab.org donated just $109 TO THE ORGANIZATION WHICH THEY CALL A FEATURED PARTNER.

"OK," you say. "Well, there was a fucking lot going on in the fourth quarter of 2023. They were probably more focused on Palestine." Sure, lets check out their donation history to UNRWA (which, btw, is still a not great charity)

In case you don't want to click another link--Spoiler alert, they only donated $380. For the whole quarter.

And before you say, "But Eden! You must have missed it Arab.org is another organization called The Olive Tree (The Olive Tree SAL). That must be where the REAL work takes place!" Look at the mission statement of that one! The call themselves, "A mission-driven social enterprise startup making an impact for the common good.''

No.

The Olive Tree SAL is not on Charity Navigator. It's just another nothingburger website that links back to Arab.org and has no search function or further information.

This is the entirety of the website:

And a weird little LinkedIn logo that takes you to the organization's business page on LinkedIn.

From what I can tell, Arab.org just uses Ad revenue to generate minimal donations for charities and organizations of varying credibility that mostly don't even seem to know that Arab.org is even doing anything related to them. And that are designed to make people who are basically uninformed on the whole topic feel good for clicking on a link.

IDK, color me unimpressed. But I'm frankly a little mad that I spend so much fucking time trying to promote charities and organizations that promote peace between Palestine and Israel with actual detailed financial reports and disclosures that seeing this really makes me upset. Maybe if people actually listened to Jewish people with a lifetime of experience dealing with this conflict and trying to help solve or even Palestinian people on the ground who are affected by all this, they might instead focus their energies on one of the many organizations that are actually doing something to help alleviate suffering, increase empathy, encourage education and interfaith dialogue, learn to use language that is respectful of everyone undergoing and who has survived trauma, or build a peaceful future.

Whatever.

Donate to an AllMEP Charity:

And the craziest thing is that I'm gonna be the one who gets hate for this--even tthough I've been so driven out of most fandom spaces and discourse spaces that I can't even tag Drawfee here, let alone I/P, Palestine, or (G-d-forbid) Israel and get this to reach people who this could actually hep.

Because every time I try to engage, I'm inundated with messages like this:

#an eden original #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #media literacy #how to help #aid #donations #it’s been several days #so I’m adding this tag so it shows up when people search my blog #and not to stir shit up #Drawfee

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overlyimmersed · 2 months

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I'm sure this is no surprise.

My followers wouldn't expect me to not talk about all this new Fairy lore and the little royals, would you?

All-in-all we actually didn't learn very much lore-wise. We learned that changelings are a thing. And that Harlequin has outlawed this type of "prank" to keep peace with humanity.

Now I'm not really a theorist. I analyze what's explicitly in front of us.

However...I'd be lying if I said I don't LOVE the theories going around right now and TOTALLY subscribe to them. Nasiens being a Fairy, Mertyl being a human, all because of changeling shinanigans. LOVE IT.

And speaking of our Fairy prince. I actually really like Mertyl. He's rough no doubt, but I'm glad someone is taking the threat of humanity seriously. That being said, I don't super appreciate him commandeering other people's trauma for his argument like that.

Controversial opinion here, but Tioreh is super annoying XD But it's not a bother really, she's just her mother's daughter that's all. And I'm not really a huge fan of Diane. Still it's fine.

Now I know I just said I'm not one to theorize,

Is anyone else getting Helbram vibes off this kid? Maybe it's just the expression, I don't know, but it'd be cool if got to be reincarnated.

I'd still like to know why Tioreh and this brother have their wings so early. Every one of these children is 16 or less, they should VERY much be immature why both Fairy AND Giant standards.

That littlest brother over there is the only one following the rules...

And is also very cutely just the spitting image of his dad :p just like how one of his oldest sisters looks just like Diane.

And the youngest daughter seems to reflect the Giant blood just as flawlessly as the younger brother does his Fairy half. So that's neat. There's a really good mix of how genetics can present among this litter of theirs.

And this bit's not really analytical at all but I just wanna say

My god, he is just so pretty!!

I think it's fun to see all the siblings laughing here, except Mertyl of course cuz he's not pleased with any of this, and...

That youngest brother. He's not laughing either. In fact we don't see him make much if and expression at all in the whole chapter... Wonder what his little deal is. Maybe he's just a neutral personality, -not common with Fairies nor much like his mother- or maybe he's on his brother's side of the issue?

Another aside I want to add; the older daughter the pig tails, and the brother with wings are almost exactly what I imagined for the two fan kids I made up for Harlequin and Diane. So I hope they have good names.

I can't wait to find out everyone else's name, and learn more about this changeling business. Where is the story going with all this I wonder? Was it just the introduction of a plot device to give us these theories about Nasiens and Mertyl? Or is this actually going to be a conflict?

Either way, I'm always glad to see more of the Fairies. Of course.

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inconspicious-random-thoughts · 1 month

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On the subject of our Hellish queen Lilith, I have a theory on her possible connection to Alastor. I definitely subscribe to the belief that Roo is Alastor's soul owner, and I believe that Lilith knows this and Alastor's desire to escape the deal. Lilith approached Alastor one day and offered to help him escape Roo's control if he helped her with her own plans and threatened to have his secret outed to the rest of Hell and tarnish his reputation if he refused her offer.

I believe that Lilith was indeed forced to go to Heaven under Adam's threat to harm Charlie if she refused to keep her from empowering Demon Kind with her singing, and to counter this Lilith had Alastor go off the grid and follow Charlie's development from the shadows. Since Lilith's deal restricting her in Heaven lasted for as long as Adam lived, she, knowing Adam would eventually go back on his word to spare Charlie, told Alastor to support Charlie and wait until Adam made a move so that he could take him by surprise and kill him in Lilith's stead (and given Adam didn't know who Alastor was when he fought him, he definitely worked as an "ace in the hole" for Lilith). Which did succeed, albeit in a different way than either she or Alastor thought it would, but no plan is perfect.

I can only hazard a guess as to what Lilith's overall goal is, but I don't think she's going to stop with killing Adam and has designs that will cause the balance of power to shift in Hell's favor after Heaven held the biggest stick for so long. She just gives off this big "chessmaster pulling the strings on both sides" vibe. Anything you'd like to add to this interpretation?

Hello, again.

My first watch through, I thought Lilith controlled Alastor because of the 7 year absence alined and suspicious. Like, everyone else, assumed Alastor was sent to the Hotel to watch over Charlie on Lilith behalf.

But I have an inkling, and not just merely hoping for more, that things are just more complicated and deeper.

The more I watch, the more I believe Roo control Alastor. I'm pretty cemented to that idea.

I definitely subscribe to the belief that Roo is Alastor's soul owner, and I believe that Lilith knows this and Alastor's desire to escape the deal. Lilith approached Alastor one day and offered to help him escape Roo's control if he helped her with her own plans and threatened to have his secret outed to the rest of Hell and tarnish his reputation if he refused her offer.

Now, that is an interesting thought. I don't think that's the case but I'm all for it. I don't think it be canon, only because when Alastor was nearly having a mental breakdown in his radio tower after the battle, he seem desperately rattled on trying to find the hidden backdoor to leave his contract. I don't think he be near panic about his contract if Lilith had offered a way out.

You could argue that it might be Lilith contract that put him in danger at the hotel that made him rattled. But I think with the words of wanting freedom, and unclip his rings...it more about his sold soul contract.

However, another explanation for his near panicked that may aliened with your purposed headcanon, is that he thought he failed Lilith by not destroying Adam. Therefore, blew his shot at her offer of his freedom. As, in this point, I don't think Alastor realized Lucifer saved Charlie and kicked Adams ass and Nifty finishing the job.

I don't think this is how canon would go but I do like the idea Lilith made a deal with Alastor. Because I find in intriguing that Alastor has all these big name players forcing him to make deals with them. I just like the idea how Alastor seems to be in control but he really isn't. How he trying to maintain enough control of the situations to make all his contracts work together, to kill multiple birds (all his hidden agendas, the deals he made along trying to seek his freedom) with a single throw of a giant stone. While appearing to be on the same side on whoever he talking to. Charlie and her hotel redemption is rock that would bring those birds down.

I think she is chess player vibes too. Her goals either involve in Adam or Roo or both.

The thing I'm stuck on is...

Lilith absence can be theorized easily, but Alastors is more lacking. I don't think he was imprisoned for that time but its the most likely thing that I can think off. He was freed to fulfill a service to whoever released him. I don't know why he gone quiet. If he was recovering from an injury I think more people would know that...instead of being a mystery.

The other thing that been bothering me is the exterminations themselves. Like....why they start exactly?

We were lead with. Lilith empowered the sinners and demons with voice and songs. As hell numbers grew so did its power. So heaven was threaten by this and started the extermination.

Which...I thought was a bit much. Its natural Hells numbers would grow...more deaths...more souls entering the afterlife on both sides. So Heaven numbers should theoretically be enough to oppose Hell numbers. Unless there's more sinners then virtuous and there was an unbalance of souls.

But...even if that's the cause...why did Heaven felt threaten. Why did they believe Hell was going to upraise beside feeling intimidated by their numbers?

Then in episode 6, Sera spoke to Adam when him and Lute just spotted Charlie in heaven. She said she never agree to your yearly activities if it brought danger to their doorsteps.

The way she said it to Adam, gave me the impression that Adam purpose the idea of an army to exterminate. What evidence did Adam had to justify the proposal and have it be concern enough for Sera to agree? At the end of the episode, she told Emily after the trail. "They were uprising!" like this fact. Sera not painted to be all knowing....She just the big boss of the security force of Heaven. Her job is to protect Heaven not be all knowledgeable.

So with this little bit, and Adam being leader of the extermination, and as well the one to "negotiate" about it...I think Adam was the Heavenly representative of the original treaty was being creative.

Because honestly...why Lucifer and Lilith agree to all of this if a douchebag didn't openly threaten and bulling them to agreeing. I would like to say its to protect Charlie...which would be a strong motive to have them agree...However...I was left with the impression exterminations has been happening for a very long time....much older then Charlie 20ish hell years of 200ish human years

So, I am left with questions. Why or what made heaven think Hell was uprising?

If Hell was uprising...Why? What would it have accomplished? The way fallen angel Lucifer, I don't think he keen attacking heaven. He may felt wrong but I don't think he want innocent, truly innocent souls to suffer to whatever means they were trying to accomplish. Lilith was painted to be a benevolent queen who cares for the souls she rule over...if she cared about sinners the way she has...I dont think she attack Heaven and have innocent bystander souls suffer.

Then, again...Why Lucifer agree to the exterminations? Beside him suffering in a numbing apathetic state of depression of only witnessing the worst products of his gift to mankind. I mean...kind of seeing Lucifer just whatevering the sinners souls away and low key agree they deserve it but spare the hellborn as they deserve to live their one life. I don't think that what happen, but I dismiss it entirely either. Was Lilith present in this meeting. If she the one that cared so much about the Hell souls, what made her agree along with it.

Why Adam want the extermantions? What examples did he bring to Sera for them to make it happen.

The only thing I can think of for Adam side of things, is he was manipulated by Eve who was manipulated by Roo. Adam making a lot of under the table deals and keeping it a low profile from Heaven. Roo using set something up to look like an uprising. Causing Heaven doing a very unheavenly act, and creating a gateway every year for Roo to attempt to use to infiltrate Heaven.

All the while, Lilith and Alastor has a role in this chessboard. I can only guess Lilith goal is trying to solve what made Heaven panic about an uprising? I don't know?

I think we will see sinner Adam. Not only because we saw Sir Pentious redeemed but because I think Adam still has a large role to play with the Hazbin lore and need to be present to explain things. Unless Lute is a very large confidant of Adam and she already has all this knowledge despite not being present at the original treaty and we see flashbacks of Adam involvement.

I hope this is all coherent. I woke up with such a toothache that just radiating pain to half of my face and giving me a large headache.

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unpretty · 2 years

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do you mind sharing what web browser add ons you use? you seem to know your stuff and i feel like there's helpful stuff i've missed

my firefox extensions are pretty boring and sometimes cringe

AliExpress Superstar - okay so this one is the cringiest one. i like to buy a lot of dumb shit and it gives me a camelcamelcamel-type graph of what the price has been doing because sellers on ali love to have 'sales' that actually cost more than the item does normally. not really useful unless you also love bad decisions.

BitWarden - i switched to bitwarden as my primary password manager from lastpass and i regret nothing. i've been using the free version no problem but i keep meaning to upgrade so i can use my yubikey again.

ClearURLs - this gets rid of all the stuff after the ? in a url, in theory. lately it's been missing some cruft in twitter urls, and also has been interfering with pocket somehow? very confusing. i give this one a mixed review.

Facebook Container - keeps facebook in an isolated shame zone so they don't know what i'm up to.

Firefox Multi-Account Containers - firefox has containers built in but you need the extension if you want to set certain urls to always open in certain containers (i do this for amazon, aliexpress, google, and twitter because i don't trust them). iirc they recently added security features that maybe make the containers obsolete anyway? idk man

Greasemonkey - for installing userscripts like the ones on greasyfork. i don't have as many of these as i used to, but whatever.

Ignore X-Frame Options - this one's Niche lmao. websites disable loading in an x-frame because they don't want their site being embedded on another website or whatever but that means comic-rocket doesn't work on their site. and i like using comic-rocket to keep track of where i'm at so i can go back later if i accidentally forget to read anything for six months. which has happened. anyway that's the only reason i have this extension. hiveworks please stop blocking comic-rocket, i already disabled adblocking for comic-rocket, i'm not going to disable ads for every comic on your fucking network, calm down.

Library Extension - EVERYONE SHOULD INSTALL LIBRARY EXTENSION. god. it has saved me so much money. stopped me from so many impulse purchases. and it lets me look up whether something is on scribd instead of just the library which is handy for me specifically, since i have scribd and my library can be limited.

Inoreader Extension - i use inoreader so i have the extension. pretty self-explanatory. tells me how behind i am on reading the entire internet, also makes it easy to subscribe to feeds when i find a new one.

RSSPreview - firefox used to let you preview rss feeds by default but they broke it because they lack my dedication to keeping rss alive

Snap Links - okay. this one is maybe a weird one. it lets me click and drag with the right button to make a box and then open every link in the box in a new tab. sometimes there is a long list and i want to read all the things. or else load up a bunch of forum pages to read while i'm offline.

Something Awful Last Read Redux - i don't have to explain myself to you but also you will take keyboard nav out of my cold dead hands

SponsorBlock for YouTube - self-promo is fine but i don't need to hear about expressvpn

stutter - it does that thing where it lets you read things one word at a time to read really fast. i already read pretty fast but sometimes this forces me enough to focus on something when i'm having attention issues.

Stylus - this is the good one after stylish turned into spyware or whatever. i need to be able to tweak css to live.

Tapas RSS Button - tapas still has rss feeds but it hid them so i installed a thing to bring the buttons back. i could probably be using a userscript for this but whatever.

Translate Web Pages - it's pretty much google translate, i feel like there must be a better one because this one kind of sucks to configure but i'm lazy

uBlacklist - just recently installed this to never see pinterest or fandom.com in my search results. i will probably add more shitty websites as time goes on.

uBlock Origin - still my ad and script blocker of choice. makes it relatively easy both to block elements as well as to opt out and explain that i clicked that ad on purpose, which is a thing i do sometimes and i need my ad blocker to respect my poor choices without forcing me to permanently enable whatever website i wanted to see.

Web Scrobbler - yes i still use last.fm in 2022 and will continue to do so. i am trying to get scrobbling from rockbox to work as we speak. it's 2022 but i'm reverting back to 2008. catch me on myspace soon probably.

XKit Rewritten - imagine using tumblr without xkit. i would die.

#original #how to internet #i didn't actually need to tell you ALL of them like i'm confessing my sins but here we are

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sparkrolf · 4 months

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So, like, the other day (yesterday?) I saw a post, which really got me thinking:

To start, I want to say I think good father William/William motivated by his kids' deaths is an interesting idea and can make for equally interesting AUs, but just that, as an idea, I don't subscribe to the actual theory that CC's (and/or especially not Elizabeth's) death kickstarted Will's murder spree.

In fact, I personally think that either Charlie or Elizabeth died before the crying child, more likely Charlie though, and that what CC saw was one of the twos deaths (or alternatively both).

To preface, I'm working under the assumption that Midnight Motorist is about the Afton's (motorist = William, couch slouch = Michael, runaway = CC), and is later the night of Charlotte's murder.

To elaborate, I think either a. as seen in Midnight Motorist, CC runs from home, goes to "that place", the same Freddy's/Fredbear's that William just killed Charlie at, and sees the aftermath, with the Puppet laying over her body, kickstarting (or boosting) his fear of the animatronics, with him under the assumption the Puppet murdered Charlie; to add on, he could've either not told anyone (but William still figured it out), or he was the one who discovered and reported Charlie's body (in addition to this I am somewhat in the camp of thinking the final speaker in 4 is Charlie, possessing, or at least speaking through, the Fredbear plush to CC, which to work would've needed her to die first).

B. is that CC (as somewhat commonly depicted in fanworks) witnessed Elizabeth getting snatched up by Circus Baby, again kickstarting or boosting his fear of the animatronics, and William could've seen this from like, his office or smt.

C. as mentioned earlier, alternatively, both could have happened.

Also for all intents and purposes, I don't think William really cares for his kids, I mean, his mistreatment of them certainly seems to be consistent across timelines (allowing Michael to bully CC, making vague threats concerning CC, constantly neglecting and even slapping Elizabeth, stabbing Vanessa when she defies him), and I'm under the impression any care he may have for his kids is either a twisted mockery of fatherly love, or just false and/or meant to establish control over said kids.

I mean, in TFC William doesn't even seem to put much effort in, yet Elizabeth still works with/for him regardless (for the most part), and the whole reason SL happens is because he tells Michael to go down into the bunker (putting his life at risk in the process, one more contributing to his bad parent rep). I'd wager Will sees he kids more as tools than actual family, especially as he seems far more interested in his, and even moreso Henry's, creations.

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bonkwosher · 1 year

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Hey! I just want to say that I love your story about Alan Grant and as I saw you are open to requests can I ask an Alan!hurt story? Maybe he is injured during Jurassic park while trying to protect the kids and Ellie has to help him to get out of there, but will they make it? All angst possible would be great and a happy ending would be even better. I hope it’s not bother. Thank you!

A/N: This seems like an Alan x Ellie & I don't write character x character but I'll make you a deal. I'll make the character a paleobotanist friend of Alan & you can just replace Y/N with Ellie. For the sake of continuity, I'll just kind of lightly remove Ellie from the storyline so that you can add her in the Y/N place.

Pairing(s): Alan Grant x GN!Paleobotanist!Reader

Contains: A lot of movie content, jealous Alan unable to control his emotions, fear of death, sad Alan, (I literally didn't follow the request, I'm sorry. Explained at the bottom)

"Why don't you come down, just the pair of ya', for the weekend? I'd love the opinion of a paleobotanist as well!" Hammond's words rang in your head as you sat next to Alan in the helicopter.

Yes, you were technically getting a lot of funding for your dig just to do this trip but the selling point was really getting to spend time with Alan outside of digging up bones. You felt as though Alan was just here for the money but honestly, the thought of spending more time with you had Alan extremely excited. You both managed to think the other had no interest & you were just friends.

Alan sat at the window seat, playing with his velociraptor claw. You hadn't realized you were zoning out watching him, his brows furrowed as he spun the small object between his fingers.

"So you two- uh, dig up- dig up dinosaurs?" Ian pulled your attention away from Alan.

You let out a laugh, "Well."

"Try to," Alan spoke softly with an equally soft smile on his face.

Ian let out an awkward yet somehow adorable laugh then looked you up & down. He had once already when you weren't looking but he wanted you to know he thought you were attractive.

"You'll have to excuse Dr. Malcolm, he suffers from a deplorable excess of personality. Especially for a mathematician," Hammond practically apologized as he turned to you.

"It's fine, it's sweet," you laughed, not noticing Alan turn away, not wanting to hear this.

"Chaotician! Chaotician actually, John doesn't subscribe to chaos, particularly what it has to say about his little science project."

"Hoggswallop, Ian. You have never been able in sufficiently explain your-"

"Oh, John, John, John because the behavior of the system is faith-based-"

"A load, if I may say, of fashionable number crunching."

The two continued bickering & you stretched in your seat.

"Dr. L/N, Dr. Grant, you've heard of chaos theory?" Ian asked, hopeful.

"No," you looked at Alan.

"No, non-linear equations? Strange attractors?" Ian paused as you shook your head, "Dr. L/N, I-I refuse to believe that you are unfamiliar with the concept of attraction."

You blushed & gave Ian a smile, Alan would be lying if he said this didn't make him upset. He tried his best not to give you the cold shoulder after that.

It got to time for lunch & you all sat down. You were a little shocked when Alan didn't sit next to you but you brushed it off. Opinions on the park quickly became the topic of conversation. You agreed wholeheartedly with Ian. Maybe it was the flirting with Ian, no, it was definitely the flirting. Despite agreeing with the two of you, Alan's mind was clouded with jealousy. To avoid conflict, Alan stood up & walked out of the room. The plan would've worked if you hadn't followed, worried about him.

"Alan! What's wrong?"

He couldn't stop himself, "Leave me alone Y/N. Go hang out with Dr. Malcolm. You clearly enjoy his presence more than mine."

"Alan, that's not-"

"Just- shut up, Y/N!"

You were shocked, unable to even respond. Alan knew he hurt you but his conscience wasn't loud enough to get him to apologize. You walked outside quietly, ironically, Ian Malcolm had seen the entire thing & ran to your aid. His arm found its place on your shoulders but you quickly shrugged it off.

"Not the time, Dr. Malcolm."

He muttered an apology & John Hammond finally caught up to the group with two kids in tow. He announced that you'd be split into two cars & you quickly announced, "I'll sit with the kids."

You were upset with Alan but saving him from spending time with two kids (Knowing he hates children) was second nature at this rate. You always handled field trips to the dig site & grew to like kids. Maybe they could distract you from your previous argument.

The tour had turned around due to the storm. The kids kept you distracted but Alan's words still floated in your mind. Alan mindlessly stared at the back of your head the whole trip. His apology was stuck at the back of his throat still, he couldn't tell if he was mad at you or himself. Ian managed to worsen his mood by asking if you were available. He was about ready to yell at Ian when the fence broke. The two of them went dead silent & watched the series of stupid decisions that the children made despite you telling them not to. The car was flipped upside down & Alan ran to your aid while Ian distracted the T-Rex.

"Y/N, grab my hand!" Alan instructed as he kneeled down into the mud, reaching his hand as far as he could into the car.

You insisted that he helped the kids first, pushing Lex towards Alan. There wasn't enough time to get you or Tim out because the T-Rex had returned, pushing the car around. You wound up hitting your head hard against the dash as the car was pushed off the cliff, effectively knocking you out. When Alan made it to the floor he set Lex down & ran to the tree, calling out for you. Alan hates trees, heights, all of it, but he has never climbed faster. As he got closer he could hear Tim crying.

"Please wake up, please!" he repeated, shaking you by the shoulders.

Alan assumed the worst, completely shouting, "Tim what happened?!"

"Y/N won't move! I think they're-" Tim stopped, unable to finish his sentence as Alan finally saw you.

You had a couple abrasions & cuts, otherwise fine, but Alan couldn't tell in this light. He cursed under his breath.

"Come on, kid. I'll get Y/N after you're out."

Tim hesitated but he got up soon after & Alan directed him to begin climbing down. Alan paused to just look at you for a moment. If you really are dead this might as well be the worst day of his life. He yelled at you, the person who understood him & cared for him.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N," he couldn't speak over a whisper as he entered the car, trying to grab you.

He moved forward cautiously, knowing that the car was suspended by a few vines & weak branches. He sat against the floor of the car, pulling your head into his lap. You were so peaceful & now that he was close, he could see that you were breathing. The wave of worries slowly washed away. I wish I could say that was the end of this nightmare of a trip.

Within seconds of Alan grabbing you, the car jerked downward. The branches were breaking. Tim screamed & began climbing down faster. Alan froze for a moment, cursing himself for letting you end up in this situation. He protected your head with one arm & braced himself against the passenger seat with the other. He held you tight, repeating apologies like that would somehow save you as each & every branch broke beneath the car. He wanted to tell you he loved you at this moment. You were unconscious & likely about to die but he wanted you to know. He was being burned by fate, he waited too long & treated you like shit today. This is all his fault. The words were stuck in his throat as you continued to fall.

You hit the ground hard, still in the car with Alan. The pain jolted you awake. Alan was dazed & In shock. You both somehow lived & you were staring at him, terrified. You led him out from under the car. The kids ran up, celebrating that you both had lived. Alan wouldn't talk, just staring at you with wide eyes. You instructed the kids to hide in a nearby tree & wait for you. They complained but listened.

"Alan? Are you okay?" You spoke with a hand on his shoulder.

You were met with Alan swallowing, trying still to figure out how to speak again. Your hands moved to cup his cheek.

"Alan, I don't understand. Are you still mad at me? What's going-"

He pulled you by the shirt into a kiss. It was short & sweet. His shaky hands found your cheeks as yours fell to your lap.

"I-I'm not mad, I'm- I'm sorry, this is my fault."

"How could this be your fault?"

"I yelled at you. I yelled when I shouldn't have. I wanted to apologize but I didn't. I love you! I love you, Y/N!"

You didn't even hesitate before pulling Alan into a deeper kiss. Only after you both needed to gasp for air did you consider pulling away. You rested your forehead on his, smiling in the thick of this horrible nightmare jungle.

"I love you too."

A/N: I'm working on my like month old requests. Shhhhhh. Also, I totally didn't follow the request. I just realized this is completely different from what you asked (LIke I said this is like a month later & I had this half-written already) as I am writing this second a/n. I'm sorry lol, request again & I'll do it but I like this one.

#alan grant x reader #alan grant #jurassic world dominion #jurassic park fanfiction #jurassic world #jurassic park lost world #jurassic park #ellie sattler #dinosaur #gender neutral reader #gay #lgbt #lgbtq

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gordon-furman · 2 months

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Do u have any headcanons for kleiner and what does he look like in your furry version?

i don't think i have any unique headcanons that other people haven't already shared, but one I really subscribe to is the one where Gordon is like his favorite student/ part nepo baby like in this post by my very good friend of mine ( @featheredcritter ) who happens to be THE official issac kleiner fan imo.

I also like the theory/headcanon that he helped raised Alyx. He has a paper craft she made for him hanging on his wall after all!

And Kleiner is a sphinx cat in my version! I have a few art pieces of him in his tag but this one has a good ref of his head -> mind you, it's a bit old but i still like it ^-^

I made him a sphinx cat for many reasons design wise (color pallet, wrinkly, same color as headcrab) but a deeper reason that I made him is a cat is because i also made Breen a cat. I wanted them to both be the same animal to tie them together somehow; both of them are brilliant scientists who are fighting on different sides of a war for very different reason. To compare and contrast them.

Breen is a coward who runs from fights and Kleiner is brave despite his physique and faces off with a shotgun. Breen hates Gordon and thinks he will fail and Kleiner is fond of him and believes in him. Breen thinks he saved humanity and Kleiner actually does (with the help of others). Kleiner ends up making a more successful form of teleportation than Breen and the Combine can.

I would even go as far to say that they're somewhat narrative foils (like hl1 Gordon and Adrian, imo) and that just adds more depth to them than ever. I would also say that Eli is a possible foil for Breen but for different reasons.

Anyways this post got a bit longer than I meant it to be LOL x) but I hoped I answered your questions!

#half life #half life 2 #half life alyx #gordon freeman #issac kleiner #wallace breen #asks

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grandhotelabyss · 3 months

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What are the benefits of using substack compared to other blogging/social media sites? Just the possibility of monetization or something else too like the potential audience or the feeling of it being more "propper and official"?

I don't want to be crass, but the possibility of monetization Substack offers is considerable compared to everything except maybe OnlyFans (I wouldn't know!). I wrote on Wordpress for a decade and by the end was making about $100 per year from ads and the (very) occasional PayPal donation. I've been on Substack for two years, and it's now covering over a third of my annual rent. This the first time in my life I've ever made anything like real money from writing. Do you know how hard it is to make real money from writing in America?

Speaking of Wordpress, I think the changes they made a few years ago to their interface is an under-discussed factor in the rise of Substack. They switched over to something called "block editing," which has proved in my experience to be very non-intuitive and distracting. I ended up having to write all my posts in HTML. Substack's interface is much smoother: essentially what you see in the drafting process is exactly what you get in the final post. They also make it easy to add media, from audio to visuals to pdfs, and I think they do video now too.

The built-in audience is definitely attractive. I will admit it can also be a trap. I like the political heterogeneity, now that everybody is on there, from Roxane Gay to Slavoj Žižek to Curtis Yarvin, but the center of gravity still feels kind of "centrist" and, for lack of a better term, "middle-aged," as in, "people who outgrew their youthful folly and became moderate liberals." (Maybe I'm just in denial that this is also what's happened to me.) Still, if you let this kind of moderation seep too much into literary writing it creates a complacency and self-congratulation that is the enemy of art's necessary vigor.

My own Substack audience appears to be ideologically mixed in the extreme. (I can tell because I see what people who subscribe to me also subscribe to.) This is a proof of my own theory that art and literature can unite the polis when politics cannot. But it's also unsettling, since it sometimes causes me to have to battle the left, the right, and the center all at once in my head when I'm trying to write something.

Aside from the money, the ease of composition, and the post-woke politics, though, what Substack really offers, especially to writers of a certain age, is a paradisal restoration of the pre-social-media internet, the circa-2005 internet of blogging, a kind of neo-Enlightenment coffee-house culture of the digital, when it seemed like this medium of communication was going to augment and extend serious literacy rather than obliterating it in a haze of 30-second ephemera.

I don't know if that answers your question, but those are my thoughts on Substack!

#substack

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verminfang · 1 year

Note

Friend Ball and Extrasensory for the ask meme.

Friend Ball: Favorite Gen V Pokémon

Its tough but I'm going to have to go with Scolipede

This cranky bug horse just kicks ass.

Extrasensory: Favorite Psychic types(s)

Slowbro is in the top 6 for my favourite pokemon of all time. I love its whole no thoughts head empty vibe and symbiotic relationship with shelder. Just a fat dopey dude.

Malamar is a really fun design as an upside down squid, its evolution method is fun and its ability to switch stat changes around is also super fun and on theme. And that's tossing all that on a pokemon thats already a biolumiscent villainous hypnotic squid.

Wobufett obvs has some anime nostalgia but beyond that just a very cool pokemon, only being able to hit things that hit them back adds a really cool slapstick cartoon violence rule to this wacky thing. The punching bag that wacks you back. I also enjoy and subscribe to the theory that the blue bag of a body is a decoy and the tail is the true wobuffet.

Mr Mime is a freak, he's a weirdo, he fucked your mum shitlips, what the hell is he even doing here? Gonna be real I don't find Mr Mime creepy, I like mimes. In fact peoples disgust for him makes him even more endearing to me? I can't help but see him as a good hearted entertainer who wants nothing but to make people happy but everyone runs screaming from him. Poor Mr Mime.

Hypno is a creepypasta freak who'd steal your kids like some horrific fey. Love this creep.

Ralts is just a cutie. also. gender.

#ask meme #pokemon

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adventuresinwonderlust · 3 years

Text

Title: Serious Inquiries Only: PART 1

Pairing: dom! yoongi x reader ft. Hobi

Warnings: Implied Masturbation, crack, humor, flirting

Rating: 18 and over

Y/N:

“Fuck, fuck, god yes!” You shake your head at the sounds of your roommate, jacking off for the fifth time in an hour. You press the volume up on the television trying to drown him out when suddenly he emerges from his room. He is completely out of breath, sweaty, and half naked. His sweats hang shamelessly off his hips. “Did you forget you don’t live alone Hobi? My god!” You sneer. “Sorry Y/N. That last one was for a customer that likes yelling. I’m done for the day. 500 dollars richer! We should grab dinner, on me!” He beams at you, yanking a Gatorade from the fridge and chugging it. “I still can’t believe you have one of those stupid pages.” You roll your eyes. He swallows hard, walking over and plopping down on the couch. “You know Y/N, you’re gorgeous. You’d make a killing on the site.” You cackle at his suggestion. “I would never.” “Never say never. Some of the most elite people at this school are on that site whether watching or streaming content.

Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.” Hobi leans back, closing his eyes. “I’ll get my porn for free thanks.” “Ah, but it's so much more than that. It's an experience and sometimes it's not even about sex. I have a customer who loves when I read to her. I mean when’s the last time you even, well you know.” He makes a lewd jerking move with his hand and you laugh out loud. He waves you off, continuing to speak. “True story Y/N. Bedtime stories, it’s the sweetest thing.” “And tell me Hobi, how much do bedtime stories run a person?” “That’s not how this works you know. If you would just look at the site. Anyway, It’s a monthly subscription. If you want specific things, that’s where extra funds come into play and it's all at the discretion of the content creator. I could say no to the sex stuff, but I like it and it makes the most money but it's not a requirement. I mean honestly, have you ever even been on the site?” “No. I haven't, and I have no interest. What would your parents say?” You ask with a raised brow. “Ah! You’re too stuffy. You should subscribe! I have the perfect person for you if you’re ever interested.” “You're out of your mind if you think I would ever pay for something like that.” Hobi laughs, getting up from the couch and heading over to his room. “When you’re ready to lighten up, let me know. Serious Inquiries Only Y/N. Until then I’m going to take a nap.” “Whatever.” You whisper, mulling over the idea in your head. Hobi wasn’t completely wrong. It had been forever since you’d been with someone. You were hyper focused on school and now in your final semester of college maybe it was time to lighten up. “Serious Inquires Only.” You whisper to yourself, grabbing your cell phone and typing that name into your browser. A little glance couldn’t hurt could it? The site pops up immediately but you can’t browse any particular pages without a subscription. The subscription offers pop up and you scoff at the prices:

*$24.99 for one month

*$49.99 for three months

*$149.99 for one year

All subscriptions come with a 14-day money back guarantee cancellation policy.

You roll your eyes and close the window. “Fuck that.” You say to yourself. “You know what I changed my mind about the nap. Let’s just go eat. I’m starved!” Hobi emerges again to grab another Gatorade and then heads back to his room to get ready.

You step out of your room and roll your eyes at Hobi who gives you a wolf’s whistle. “Ready?” You ask, pulling on a black leather jacket over your white crop top sweater, admiring how your black skinny jeans hugging your hips nicely in the mirror of your lobby. “I think we should get steaks tonight. I’m feeling fancy.” Hobi states as you exit the building. “Sounds good. I’ll eat whatever you’re buying.” You say with a laugh. “Ah, ok,” Hobi says to his phone, “Yoongi will join us.” He smirks suggestively, throwing his hand out to hail a cab. “What? Why?” You whine. “He is hungry and I invited him.” “Hoseok! You know how nervous he makes me.” “Still have a crush on him huh?” Hobi smiles, a cab arriving. “No! He’s just brooding, quiet, judging!” “Oh wow! You’re a terrible liar. You know, we are in our last year of University, you should just tell him about this freshman crush and move on already.” “I don’t know why I bother speaking to you. I swear if you’ve told him I have a crush on him, I’ll strangle you.” Hobi laughs, slapping your thigh, as he shakes his head. “You are too wound up. He’s a great guy and friend. You’re the judgmental one Y/N. He actually thinks you’re really nice and cute.” “He said that?” Hobi nods assuredly. You hum to yourself, wondering what other things the two boys have discussed.

Yoongi:

“You’re late.” Yoongi grumbles, not moving his eyes away from his phone. Another Serious Inquiries Only subscriber has come in for his hand kink section. He smirks to himself. Easy money. This one wants him to open a gift box containing lingerie. “I am only 10 minutes late. There was traffic. How long were you actually waiting?” Hobi asks. Yoongi shrugs, looking over Y/N’s exposed tummy and tight jeans. Was she always this curvy? He licks his lips, shoving his phone in his pocket. “Y/N, you look really nice. How are you? I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while.” Yoongi remarks. Her eyes widen and she tucks her hair behind her ear, fumbling over her words. “It hasn’t been that long. I’m good, you know. I mean, we’ve seen each other around or maybe you just don’t notice. I’m good anyway. How about you?” He smirks, enjoying her flushed face and nervous demeanor. He has always thought she was a gorgeous girl but tonight she looked different, tonight she looked like sin. What he wouldn’t give to grip her hips. “Uh, ok you two, pine over each other inside please. I’m starving.” Hobi cuts in, grabbing the door to the restaurant and entering. Yoongi catches the door to hold it open for Y/N.

At the table, Yoongi finds himself peaking over his menu at Y/N. She looks amazing, fresh faced, glowing even. “What are you getting?” Hobi nudges her with his elbow. “I’m thinking lamb.” “Good choice.” Yoongi states calmly. She looks over at him and gives a small smile. “What are you getting?” She asks Yoongi. “Surf and turf.” He drops his menu, feeling his phone vibrate. He maintains eye contact with Y/N, reveling in the flush of her cheeks. He swears she’s in heat, he can almost smell her. He winks to test this theory, releasing a small laugh as she clears her throat and rubs her thighs together under the table.

Looking over his phone, he smiles as he sees another subscriber join his Serious Inquiries Only page. This one joins his ASMR section, requesting he whisper sweet nothings to her. He chuckles, looking up at Y/N’s furrowed brows. He licks his lips, shoving his phone in his pocket again. “So, Hobi, what are we celebrating?” Yoongi leans back, looking at his best friend. “He made extra cash on that ridiculous website.” Y/N interjects. “She's a prude.” Hobi scoffs. “I'm not, I just feel like you can get porn for free.” “What's your favorite type of porn?” Yoongi can't help but ask. “Excuse me?” Her brows furrow. “Well, it seems like you’re yucking someone else's yum. So, I'm intrigued as to what you find acceptable.” “I'm not yucking anything, all I'm saying is it's not for me.” Hobi cuts in, “OK, ok, let's not get into a debate at the table.” “Not everyone seeks or sells sex on that site anyhow. You should educate yourself before you shoot it down.” “Wow, asshole much? I guess you're on that site seeing as how defensive you are. Sorry if I don't want to pay 150 dollars to watch some guy shoot his load on his chest.” “So, you have looked at the site?” Hobi gives a curt smile. Yoongi laughs as Y/N squirms. “And it seems as if she was in search of some guy shooting his load on his chest.” Yoongi adds, causing Hobi to laugh loudly. “Fuck you both.” “I'm sure as you know, that cost extra.” Yoongi says with ample sarcasm. Y/N sucks her teeth, huffing off to the bathroom.

Hobi laughs and laughs, releasing a sigh as he comes down. “Leave her alone Yoongi. She's just not getting any.” “Fuck Hoseok, why haven't you planned a dinner like this sooner? I'll give that girl anything she wants. She's a fucking Goddess.” Yoongi looks over towards the bathroom as he speaks. “Is that on the record or off?” Hobi asks, waving over a waiter. “Off, besides, she doesn't like me like that.” Hobi just smiles at Yoongi. “What?” Yoongi grumbles. “What can I get you gentlemen?” The waiter asks. “I will have the filet mignon, medium rare. My friend who is in the restroom will have the lamb chops, also medium rare, and surf and turf for the gentlemen to my left.” “Medium rare as well?” Yoongi nods at the waiter, handing over his menu. “Spill it Hobi.” “No can do.”

Y/N:

You take a few deep breaths at the sink, trying to calm yourself. You’re not a prude, granted it's been a while since you’ve been with someone and sure you were a bit of a homebody but that didn’t make you a prude…. did it? You splash cold water on your face, looking at yourself in the mirror. You should’ve put on some makeup. Yoongi was looking hot tonight and here you were looking drab and fresh faced. Why did he make you so nervous? He was always so confident and the way he kept looking at you had you hot to say the least. You needed to just get your head right. It was one dinner and you were home free, back to ignoring each other.

You emerge from the restroom and head back to the table. “I ordered your lamb chops.” Hobi informs you. “Thanks.” You say, resting your chin on your hand, trying desperately to avoid Yoongi’s demanding eye contact. “So, Hobi tells me that you and I will be taking a couple of courses together this semester.” Yoongi states. “Oh, I hadn’t realized.” You say, still avoiding eye contact. “I look forward to seeing you every day.” You laugh out loud at his confession. “Is that so?” “Yeah definitely. I love a woman in uniform.” He mumbles. Your head snaps almost on its own and you nearly melt away watching Yoongi lick his lips. Is he flirting or just messing with me? You weren’t sure but lord you felt it right in your pussy. “Ah, yes, food is here!” Hobi proclaims, the waiter placing plates in front of each of you.

You all begin to dig in, savoring your meals. “Mm, so good, Y/N, let me try the lamb.” Hobi says between chews. You nod, cutting him a slice of lamb. He grabs it with his fork and pops it in his mouth. He hums in delight. “Yoongi! You have to try it. Phenomenal.” Yoongi chuckles softly, chewing his food. “You want to.” You point at your lamb with your fork. He gives you a sly smile that causes you to swallow hard. He nods and you cut him a piece. You look up to find him leaning in with his mouth open. Your mouth falls open and you feel your face flush. “Ah.” Is all he says. You grab your fork, catching the cut piece of lamb and bring it to his mouth. He slowly brings his tongue out, touching the tip of the lamb with it, before wrapping his lips around your fork. You moan just a bit at the sight, feeling your slick move past your slit. “Amazing.” He whispers, never breaking eye contact with you. You nod. “Told you! So good. What a great idea to come here tonight. Go me!” Hobi praises himself while you and Yoongi maintain your locked eyes.

Hobi pays for dinner, refusing Yoongi and your advances to even leave the tip. “It's my treat you two besides, Yoongi’s got next.” He winks. You raise a brow but just shake your head. You all leave the place together. “Yoongi, you should come to our place for a night cap.” Hobi offers. “Ah, I would but I have a bunch of shit to do tonight. Maybe next time. Y/N, so good to see you. We’ll catch up in class yeah?” “Yeah.” You smile. He nods, giving Hobi a handshake and walking off. “Holy fuck! Was he flirting with me all night or was I going crazy?” You turn to Hobi, who sticks his hand out for a cab. Hobi shrugs. “I didn’t notice anything strange.” “Well did he say anything about me while I was in the bathroom?” Hobi smiles wide now. “So, is this an admission that you have a crush?” You suck your teeth. “Forget it Hobi.” “Forgotten Y/N.”

Yoongi:

Yoongi stretches his body wide at his computer, leaning in to review his newest member’s request. He had never wanted to get into the Serious Inquiries Only game but when he saw the extra money it made Hobi on the side he signed up with no complaints. He was very organized though and set very specific rules. First, he never offered sexual favors in exchange for money. It wasn’t that he was against it, he just didn’t have the time to delve into that line of work. He always saw how exhausted Hobi was after just one night of requests and with school and his part time job, he couldn’t commit. Second, he never used his real name nor showed his face. He wanted to keep his anonymity intact. Hobi was cool being recognized around campus, Yoongi wasn’t. He loved being an enigma or flat out ignored because people thought he was cold. He didn’t want that to change. Lastly, he was strict about what he provided. He only offered hand kink and ASMR on his page. At first, he was unsure of how people would respond to it, but it was an instant hit, his subscribers grew by the day. His videos ranged from gripping his bed sheets, to unwrapping silk ribbons, to whispering or scratching in his microphone. For Christmas this past year, he blessed his followers with an ASMR of him moaning. The video was such a hit, he gained 40 followers in an hour from word of mouth alone. After his first year with ‘SIO’, he began offering his yearly subscribers an exclusive gift, a personal video of their choice from either of his categories. He was a success to say the least, earning a sweet living off this side hustle. The only reason he didn’t leave his part time job was because he didn’t know how to explain the extra money to his mother when she visited him. Not to mention, he rather enjoyed teaching kids the piano.

So, here he was at his computer desk, after having gone out and buying black laced lingerie and making sure they wrapped it pretty. He began to set up his camera to shoot his new subscriber her personal hand kink video. He smirked to himself as he slowly undid the black ribbon from around the package, making sure to twirl the soft material around his long slender fingers. He let the ribbon fall to the sides of the package, running his now stretched fingers along the front of the package, smiling again at how his veins bulged out of his hands. He soon tucked his index finger under the lid of the box, sliding his hand down and lifting the lid up to reveal the red tissue paper inside. He gently rubbed the pads of his fingers atop the dressing before gripping it hard into his fist, curling the delicate paper into a ball, and discarding it to the side. He again rubs his fingertips over the contents in the box, this time it’s the Italian lace lingerie he purchased. He licked his lips, even though the camera couldn’t see him do it. He purchased it with Y/N in mind. Imagining how the gorgeous lace would hug her hips perfectly. He pulled out first the thong, allowing it to hang from his middle fingers, then stretching the fabric out to show the detail. He then grabs the bralette, twirling the straps around his index fingers and sliding his thumbs under the back straps to showcase its detailed hand stitching. He next pulls out the garter belt, resting it atop the bralette and thong, he holds it down with one hand, yanking at the clasp and releasing so it snaps back. He places the items back in the box, running both hands down the fabric again, before bringing his hand up and shutting the camera off. He releases a sigh, setting up his microphone now for his next subscribers request, when he decides to make a phone call. “Hey Hobi, what’s your address?” He chuckles at Hobi questioning him. “Just send it in a text. I want to send something to Y/N, anonymously of course.” He smirks at Hobi’s protest. “Just send the address Hoseok, I’ll address it from a secret admirer.” He hangs up without another word, clearing his throat before he begins to record, he always liked to deepen his voice when he records, always sure to keep things anonymous.

Y/N:

First day of classes consisted of nothing more than getting acquainted with classroom locations and professors. This semester you had opted to do more classes online only taking three courses in person. Psych, Critical Writing, and Literature because you felt like you needed a professor to really drill these lessons into your head. “Hobi, I’m leaving, I’ll see you later!” You shout before heading out. You didn’t wait for a reply, running out to catch a cab to campus, too lazy to walk. The school was strict about wearing their uniforms which you hated because they were still stuck in their old ways and you were stuck in a plaid skirt and knee highs. You got to campus with enough time to grab a coffee. “May I have an iced americano please?” You tell the cute barista behind the counter, digging for cash. “Make that two.” Yoongi appears from behind you, handing money to the barista before you can and looking you over. “Nice knee highs.” He smirks. You roll your eyes at him. “Thanks for the coffee.” “Sure. Where are you headed?” “Class.” “Obviously. Where?” “Main building. I’m only taking three on campus. You?” “Two in person. The rest online. I think I’m going to pick up some more shifts at my part time gig. I need to lighten the load you know?” You nod at him. “Wanna grab dinner with me sometime?” He asks next. Your eyes pop open. “Me?” “Uh, yeah, definitely not talking to the plant behind you.” “Um, I don’t know. What would we talk about?” Yoongi shrugs. “Life, school, kinks. Whatever you’re into.” He licks his lips. You feel your cheeks flush under his gaze. “Yeah, I um, don’t know about that. I mean what’s with the sudden interest in me?” “Who said it was sudden?” “ICED AMERICANOS UP.” The barista calls out. You move past Yoongi and grab your drink. “I have to go. Thanks for the coffee again. I’ll see you around.” “You sure will, maybe even sooner than you think.” You scoff, walking out of the café.

You hurry towards the main building and into your first class taking a seat quickly. “You’re really quick you know that.” You hear from behind you, turning to find Yoongi taking a seat next to you. “Why are you here?” Yoongi pulls out his phone, flashing you his schedule. “Psych and Critical Writing are my two in person classes.” He tucks his phone away, chuckling at your shocked expression. “I’m going to kill Hobi.” You say finally. “Aw, come on. Don’t blame Hobi. I’m hard to resist. You’ll find out soon enough.” You laugh out loud. “You must not hear this a lot but I am not interested in you.” Yoongi smiles, turning towards you and leaning in. He whispers closely, his breath causing your hair to tickle at your ear. “Oh, my sweet Goddess, it turns me on when you lie. I am just dying inside to find out all the secrets you keep locked away. Just know, you don’t have to hide anything from me. I’ll never judge you; I just want to make all your filthy dreams come true.” You shudder slightly, swallowing hard. “I, you.” “Shh, don’t say anything. I’m ok pretending we don’t like each other a little longer. I’m incredibly patient.” “Good morning class.” You professor walks in but you can’t break away from Yoongi’s stare. “I am putting out the itinerary for the class and on it is listed all of your due dates for assignments. You can email me any questions you have but we will meet here in person on due dates only. Welcome to big kid Psych. Enjoy your day.” Everyone, including the professor, begin to leave. You and Yoongi however are still seated, staring at each other. “I have to go.” You mutter. Yoongi smirks. “Want company? I mean we are headed the same way after all.” You shake your head at first but eventually start nodding. Yoongi nods, putting his hand out for you to take. You place your hand in his and practically melt as he runs his thumb over your knuckles.

Yoongi:

Yoongi watches as her hips sway side to side, biting his lip. He just can’t help himself; she really is a Goddess in his eyes. He had always had a crush on her but she was always so consumed by school work and the one time she was out and about she dated some piece of shit tattoo artist that dropped out in year 2. Y/N looks back at him suddenly and he quickly lifts his gaze to meet hers. “Why critical writing?” Y/N asks. “It’s a requirement for graduation.” “Not because Hobi gave you my schedule.” Yoongi smiles wide at her. “No. I mean it’s a plus but I really needed to fulfill the requirement to graduate, same as you.” Y/N nods at Yoongi. You both enter the classroom and take your seats. “Where do you work? You mentioned a part time gig.” “At the rec center. I teach kids piano.” “Really? That’s awesome. Not what I was expecting at all.” She laughs, causing Yoongi to smile also, basking in her beauty. “Sorry I’m not some jerk of a tattoo artist.” Yoongi scoffs, looking over at her, realizing he’s fucked up by the expression on her face. “Well, he may have been a jerk in the end but he wasn’t always that way and his work was great.” She huffs. “I didn’t mean to imply his job was…” “Forget it. What do you know anyhow Mr. Serious Inquiries Only?” She snaps. Yoongi sucks his teeth. “I deserve that but I don’t get the reference seeing as how I never said I was on that site. So, I don’t know why you give me shit about it.” She cackles. “Give me a break. Your fancy bracelet and earrings. How about your designer clothes? You mean to tell me that you get that on some shit part time piano gig? But hey what do I know right? Maybe mommy and daddy pay for it like everyone else at this school.” “You mean like you? What do you do for work again?” Yoongi snaps, tired of the uppity bullshit.

“None of your fucking business.” She huffs, standing and moving her seat to a row ahead of Yoongi. He rolls his eyes at her ridiculous behavior. “You’re lucky I don’t take you over my knee.” He whispers to himself with a deep sigh. “Good morning class. Please come up and grab your guide for your end of the semester assignment. You will need a partner so please choose wisely. In addition, I will be giving weekly prompts for you to complete and submit to me via email. Any questions? No? Great! Have a great day.” Yoongi moves forward to grab the assignment. “Wanna team up?” He asks Y/N. “I’d rather drink acid.” She turns and walks away. “Come on. You want an A or not?” Yoongi says. She growls a bit. “Fine.” “I need your number.” “Uh, no.” “How are we going to do this then?” “Call Hobi.” She shouts, leaving the classroom. “Fuck.” Yoongi whispers, fearing he’s ruined his shot with her.

Y/N:

You burst through your apartment, throwing your bag onto the couch. Hobi jumps up and looks at you in fear. “Bad day? How? It’s just day one Y/N.” “Yoongi is a complete asshole. First, he tries to flirt with me, then he insults my relationship with Trevor, then he forces me to be his partner in our Critical Writing class. I hate him Hobi. I fucking hate him! Not to mention all my in-person classes are basically online because the professors are all assholes as well!” You shout, popping open a beer from the fridge and chugging it. Looking down at the counter, you notice a package with your name on it. “What’s this?” You look at Hobi angrily. “Uh, a gift but you know maybe you shouldn’t open it now.” He stutters. You yank the card off of it and open it. ‘These were handpicked for the most gorgeous prude I ever laid eyes on. Xo Your Secret Admirer.’ “This is a joke, right? You’re not fucking funny Hobi.” You rip the box open and your mouth drops at the Italian Laced lingerie inside. “No, Y/N, I didn’t…. this wasn’t me.” “Oh, so who was it then?” He looks at you with sheer panic strewn across his face. “You and your friend are both on my shit list.” You point at him, snatching the box and walking over to your room. “Wait, Y/N, I really didn’t buy that. Please let me explain.” You slam the door in his face, not feeling in the mood to entertain this further.

You look over the items in the box one by one, thinking back to the last time you wore lingerie. You shrug and decide to try it on. You look at yourself in the mirror snapping at the strap of the garter belt, and sucking in a breath as it stings your skin. You glide your hands up your thighs, belly, and cup your full breast, admiring how your nipple rings glint in the light through the fabric. You think back on your relationship with Trevor, he was the one who pierced your nipples. You smile at all the crazy antics the two of you found yourselves in. He enjoyed your wild side but took advantage of it at the same time. It was something that you regretted allowing him the chance to do. After you found out he was sleeping with girls from the tattoo shop he worked in, you broke up with him immediately, throwing all your time and energy into school, forever packing away that side of yourself. It wasn’t until your feelings for Yoongi sprouted that those feelings began to stir again and your wild side came scratching to the surface for freedom. You were just too afraid to free that side of yourself, afraid of being hurt again, taken advantage of. In allowing that fear to take over you though, had you truly become a prude? Perhaps it was time to unleash that side of yourself once more, find a balance. You stood tall, proud, turning and walking into the living room. “Hoseok,” You say with confidence, watching his eyes scan your body wildly, “You said when I was interested in your little website that you had the perfect person for me. Well, I’m interested.” Hobi couldn’t speak, he just nodded slowly. “Great. Whenever you get the chance.” You nod, and turn back to your room, making sure to wiggle your exposed ass with enthusiasm for good measure.

#bts smut #suga x reader #suga x you #yoongi smut #hobi

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iraqdinar · 2 years

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I sell the Zimbabwe currency. All anyone wants to buy is the 2008 hyperinflation notes. Here's why...

Everyone already knows (or should know) that the 2008 notes are no longer legal tender. Both as someone who is naturally curious and also as someone who sells the 2008 Zimbabwe currency banknotes as collectibles, I was determined to find out why that was the only year of Zimbabwe money that buyers seemed to have any interest in.

The rumor goes like this: the 2008 banknotes have text on them that reads: "I promise to pay the bearer on demand."

These were one of three series of for lack of a better term currency notes issued by the reserve bank of Zimbabwe that year. The other two, the Bearer Cheque and Special Agro-Cheque both have test in the same approximate place on the note that reads, "Pay the bearer on demand.'" However, below that is the text in larger font stating the denomination, and just below that in text the same size as the "pay the bearer" text on the Agro-Cheque and text larger than the "pay the bearer" text but smaller than the denomination on the Bearer Cheque is text on both iterations of the '08 Zim money that reads, "on or before _______ (<-- date). Below that text is the issue date.

The rumors are predicated on the fact that the actual banknotes have no expiration date, and the belief among subscribers to the rumor that the government's demonetization of the currency was an illegal act. It follows that the notes were never not legal tender because they were removed from circulation illegally, according to the rumor. I have no idea if there's any truth to that, but that's the logic behind the 2008 notes being the ones everyone wants. I've also heard of the 2008 notes referred to as "bond notes," possibly for that reason, although I've never really gotten a good answer for why.

I can't say what's going to happen with Zimbabwe's currency if anything. I sell both the 2008 and the 2019-present versions. However I'm always honest with my customers when asked, and I have no trouble admitting that I don't hold any aside from what I keep as inventory. I bet heavily on Iraqi dinar personally, but then again I have first-hand information from someone I consider to be about the most credible and trustworthy person I could possibly receive information from about the topic. In fact, I've received compelling first-hand information from three separate sources and a fourth that's compelling although less proprietary and more subjective in nature. I don't tell customers that I own dinar. When asked I just say that I only sell collectibles, not securities, nor any other form of financial products or investments, and I leave it at that when asked about dinar.

I may be triple sure of it (IQD), but while I'm okay if I lose everything swinging for the fences, I don't want to contribute to anyone else losing even a dollar. Also, I don't necessarily subscribe to the theory that the CBI (Central Bank of Iraq) is going to just wave a magic wand and add 300,000% to the value of the currency. I see a slower and more gradual appreciation against the US dollar that occurs because market forces dictate that it does. But what do I know? Admittedly nothing about anything. So please don't use anything I say as even a tiny fraction of a reason for or against any investment decision. Nothing I say or have ever said constitutes financial advice.

#zimbabwe #zimbabwe currency #zim bond #trillion dollars #money #global currency reset #africa #african money #paper money #currencies #currency revaluation

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steves-strapcollection · 4 years

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my mag172 #thots i will not be swayed from

The tl;dr version:

Fuck the web

Fuck Web!Martin theories (like i cannot even properly articulate why i hate this theory so much now, and I used to subscribe to it)

And fuck Annabelle Cane, I literally hate her with my entire being.

As a recovering addict, I would say... this is the best episode of the show, and I will also never, ever listen to it again.

Now the long version below the cut.

So I hate the Web, and I hate Annabelle Cane. To me, the other fears make sense on a primal human level. The Web is just...pure evil. It was born from the choices of evil people, and is only used for evil. Plain and simple. It is, at it’s core the worst fear and I hate it. There is nothing anyone can say that will make me not hate it.

Because of point number one, I refuse to believe in or subscribe to literally any Web!Martin theory. At all. Listen, MAG170 killed Web!Martin theories completely, imho, and any amount of theorizing in favour of Web!Martin is grasping at straws. But I refuse to believe that my perfect boy, who spent the entire time in the Lonely defending his abuser, who busted his own ass out of the Lonely bc he was in love would be part of something as evil as the Web. Like I just....I feel like there was no way to have had an episode, completely from the POV of Martin, and not gotten any spoken hint at him being even remotely connected to the Web. Just. No.

The argument at the beginning, if you could call that an argument: I have noticed, especially in recent episodes, that Jon seems influenced by the domain and especially the “statement giver” before he even begins his monologue. Like...kinda showing how the forced Knowing creeps up on him? This theory of mine has been in the back of my mind since MAG168 but I don’t know how to fully explain it because it just fully formed in my head after this episode. Something changed after Oliver’s statement, just like it did in Season 1, and again at the beginning of Season 4. In MAG170, Jon got separated from Martin, and I feel like...Jon wouldn’t have just....left Martin behind, even by accident, even during a monologue and I just...I feel like, to some degree, Jon had been at least a little bit influenced by the Lonely and got separated that way. And then in the Flesh, approaching Jared, Jon was confused that Martin didn’t find the flesh flowers beautiful, and the way he said it...it struck me as a very Jared thing to say. And then the way Jon talked in this episode, the way Jon got defensive and sniped at Martin just....it was very similar in feeling to Francis’ own words being mirrored back to them by the spider. Just....i’m not sure where I’m going with this, or even if it has sound basis in canon. It’s just been a pattern I’ve noticed but it was made clearer to me now.

I refuse to see that final interaction with Martin and Jon as anything other than two frustrated and exhausted men trudging through the apocalypse, and whatnot. Like I can just hear the absolutely lukewarm takes ppl will have and just. Nah, leave me out of it.

Loved the explanation about Knowing vs. Understanding.

Also loving Jon and Martin still discussing boundaries, and Martin has a right to said boundaries, and I’m getting where he’s coming from in now wanting to know, or for Jon to Know. I think I would be the same, not wanting to know if my feelings for someone or choices were my own or made for me, especially if I had gone through as much as Martin has. I rly did not see this as an omen of any kind, especially with them having that conversation in the middle of the Web’s domain.

This episode was hard. I’m recovering from alcoholism, I’ve recovered from cigarette addiction repeatedly, and also struggle with binge eating disorder which is often treated the same way as an addiction would in therapy. I relate to Francis as a recovering addict, and I thought this episode did an amazing job in illustrating addiction, and relapse, and the little ways addicts get undermined and undermine themselves in the recovery process. I don’t think this episode compared addiction to being a monster, nor do I think it downplayed the mental illness aspect of addiction. I made a post earlier about how these statements are mad with heavy bias, especially during the apocalypse, and they’re about fear. Recognizing that addiction is a mental illness and showing it as such does not translate fear, and if it did, I feel like that would be more the Corruption’s domain than any others. The Web is about not being in control, it’s about not having a choice or free will, it’s about feeling trapped by the choices you once made and are unable to make choices that contradict those. With addiction, that is a very real feeling. You can tell me all day that it’s mental illness, it’s rooted in depression or anxiety or whatever, and all you have to do is treat that cause and address it blah blah blah. I know. We know. But when you’re struggling with a relapse, or a near-relapse, it does not feel like you’re in control, it does not feel like you are driving your own body. It feels like someone else is behind the wheel, and you hate that person, and you are terrified of that person. That person is ruining your life and you feel like you cannot fucking stop them. But then you do! You can do it. And a lot of us succeed, and I feel like if the world hadn’t ended, Francis would be doing okay. Just like I’m doing okay. And the countless other recovering addicts I know. But in a fictional world, where our fears are actual entities, with physical avatars doing their bidding everywhere, in an apocalyptic hellscape where the fears EXIST ON OUR PLANE of reality, where people are forced to live through their greatest fears forever.

Idk, i just thought this was a really good episode and I’m debating blacklisting TMA until next week lmao.

I just wanted to add this bc I rly don't want ppl to eventually come at me about their personal experiences w addiction and just... Jonny confirmed that he wrote this episode from his own experiences as an addict and his fears regarding addiction, plus that season 5 is about fear not truth so.

Read the following tweets before trying to push your experiences as the "truer" experience or whatevs I've already been seeing.

#the magnus archives #mag172 #mag172 spoilers #tma spoilers #addiction tw #my mag thots #400 notes

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