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tiredstressedemotionalmess · 1 year

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me thinks, just maybe, you should totally share your fab four characters hcs (specifically ones ab their appearances) 😇 also i just rlly love headcanons

GDJGHJGDJHD THIS IS SO FUNNY I LITERALLY HAVE LIKE. WRITTEN IN MY NOTES APP ALL MY MAIN APPEARANCE HEADCANONS AND STUFF AND I WAS GONNA SEND YOU SCREENSHOTS EARLIER BUT I TOTALLY FORGOT GHGHDHGD so anyways im just gonna copy/paste my word vomit (plus added commentary as i reread this) here lmao

(also just a quick little thing, i have far too many hcs for these fucks, some of which contradict each other bc it kind of depends on what setting/story im thinking about these characters in. things like gender and pronouns change a lot too, so im not even gonna try and catalog all that shit. just know they are all Gay and Trans and only party has "consistent" pronouns bc they always use they/them, but i might add others in if im feeling spicy. the lack of canon material is absolutely wonderful for my creativity, so this is just like. a collection of the things that remain the same across the majority of my mental images of them lol)

Jet Star: no surprise here, his hair is very textured! so many curls!! i see the curls as a bit looser, not super tight or packed together but still like, well defined yknow? i envision him with fairly dark skin as well and, playing into the whole star/space association i have w/ him, i feel like he absolutely loves body glitter and, like, sparkly eyeshadows and shit (he doesn't wear it *all* the time but he'll put it on for a party or something and then just let it rub off over time. needless to say, there is glitter fucking all over his room). also, he fucking LOVES jewelry! just wears SO many bracelets and necklaces and shit (more bracelets than necklaces but there's still a lot of both). this was more of a ttid specific thing, but i think ive gotten so used to imaging him with a huge fucking scar on/around his neck, that its sort of bled into my regular interpretations of him so that's there as well! also, he wears an eyepatch PURELY as an aesthetic thing bc he thinks it makes him look cool and it switches eyes constantly but he denies that fact whenever people point it out! (that is until he actually *does* get his eye fucked up. some exterminator noticed how the patch's location would change, thought it would be funny to give it a permanet placement).

Party Poison: SO MANY FUCKING TATTOOS I'VE WRITTEN A POST ABT THIS AND I COULD HONESTLY WRITE A WHOLE FIC ABT IT I JUST- THEM. INK. COLORS. FUCK. love the idea of them with long hair, too. they usually keep it shaggy and just a *tad* bit longer than shoulder length, but i feel like they'd only cut it when they're in jusssst the right mood so it'll tend to grow out for months, get really long and start to reach their mid back, and then they'll get annoyed and finally chop a shit ton off when they're bored at like 4 am. also, this has nothing to do with appearances but they get fucking terrible and frequent migraines, purely because i get terrible and frequent migraines my only hobby is projecting my problems onto these gay fucks :D (also could so write a fic abt that and how it effected them it the city/their conflicting feelings about taking pills to help with the pain once they get out to the zones... hmmm...) the fucker also has sharp as hell teeth! canine especially! idk why they just do. kobra does to (snake siblings go brrr) but party's are noticed more often because they tend to talk a lot more/loudly and smile wider than kobra so people notice it on them more. im also a big fucking fan of android party so sometimes they are robot to me :) if they aren't robot, then they usually have some type of prosthetic limb in my brain (usually an arm idk why and idk if that's gonna be in ttid but yknow. we ball). they also really like lipstick, and they've got a large collection of practically every color imaginable

The Kobra Kid: okay so like i said before, sharp teeth! snake boy's got fangs!! he's also got heterochromia (ooo city trauma from being Different time!! there was definetly talk of surgeries to "correct" his eyes when he was younger and it was becoming more noticeable, but party always fought the adults on it, said he was too young, it would be too expensive, shit like that. worst came to worst, they'd get into some trouble to distract from the issue for a bit). anyways, i think the kid's naturally blonde, but not *that* blonde, yknow? like he gets out to the desert an the sun makes it a bit lighter and he falls in love with the idea of it being fucking BLONDE blonde, so he totally steals party's leftover bleach and just fried the absolute shit out of it. also, fuck it, i only thought of this just now but im incorporating it into everything ever; he dyes a streak in the front the same red as poison. (i like the idea that joys close to each other will dye their hair the others favorite color or the color that they have their hair as. and they're brothers!!! he loves his sibling!!!! he gets a re streak fuck you i can do what i want :]) uhhh other kobra things, oh! the world is a bright, bright place, and my man wears sunglasses constantly, even indoors, to Cope (again. projecting.) and yeah maybe he wears them too so he's harder to read/looks more badass, but really its just bc it fucking bright out man. OH AND PIERCINGS FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT THE PIERCINGS HE'S GOT SO MANY MOSTLY IN THE EARS BUT EYEBROW AND SEPTUM TOO AND OF FUCKING *COURSE* MY MAN HAS SNAKEBITES FUCK (one again might be projecting here but i love piercings and he'd look cool with them so he has them) also just thought of this but his nose is Fucked Up omg he gets punched in the face so much

Fun Ghoul: Scar :] he makes the most animated facial expressions too, and he's got these big fucking bright green eyes, and all that combines with the scar kind of freaks people out and he fucking LOVES it! he laughs at literally everything, too, especially when he's feeling nervous or super energetic. his adrenaline gets pumping and he's just cackling like a hyena. anyways, his hair is so fucking dark like *inky* black, and he's never heard of a shower a day in his life so my guy is greasy as all FUCK. his hair is just so fucking shiny and stringy and jet absolutely yells at him constantly trying to get him to WASH HIS FUCKING HAIR. it's longer than poison's, but not by a lot, and he ties it back a lot especially when he's working on projects and shit. he's cut it if he didn't hate it so much when it's short. his skin tone's also like a medium dark-ish, and i think he has a few tattoos but not nearly as many as party (his are all like super meaningful and related to like, late crew members or phoenix witch/religious things or mementos of super important moments in his life. (part of him hopes that, if the battery ever does get him and they steal his mind and memories away, the ink in his skin will help him remember who he truly is). he's got a lot of burn scars too (bombs and shit)!! not most aren't super severe, but they're visible in a lot of spots. he thinks it looks cool. fucker not only paints his nails, but he paints everyone else's too whether or not they're aware of it at them time (he gets bored and does it while they're sleeping lmao. party loves it, kobra's indifferent, jet pretends to get pissed off bc it makes ghoul laugh but really he thinks its sweet). also a fan of him with prosthetic limbs but i haven't really thought about that all too much yet.

#asks #killjoy headcanons #danger days headcanons #my headcanons #party poison #fun ghoul #kobra kid #jet star #so yeah! that's generally them!#so yeah! that's generally them! i think about them far too much and i could probably write a whole book about them- OH WAIT #lmao #i think gerard should hire me tho tbh i could write a comics run about them and it'd be so so so good please mx way just give me a chance-

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la-squadra1234 · 1 year

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Hi can you write a HC of Franklin,Uvogin,Phinks, and Feitan taking care of their sick s/o please. THANK YOU.

Of course I can but I swear I did some thing like this before but whatever I don’t really care I just do it again if I did it before!

Thank you so much for the request

BTW I am just going to add in chrollo because I know that somebody is going to ask because it always ends up happening for things like this when I don’t add chrollo in lol but it’s OK. I love all the support and the fact that people enjoy my writing means a lot to me!

Full credit to la-squadra1234

Feitan-

He definitely would be freaking out inside because he would not know what to be doing as he doesn’t really get sick, but he has a zero tolerance for vomit so if you throw up you are on your own

He will definitely ask the phantom troupe for help and they would just tell him to give his s/o some medicine and make sure that they get rest and lots of water

Eventually, he calms down and stops getting less stressed out by the day as he gets more experienced

Uvogin-

Man would break into a supermarket and he would get all the medicine available but his s/o would only end up using like one of them, but he wouldn’t care as long as his s/o gets better

He wouldn’t ask for advice because he already knows what to do as he has been sick before, and nobody was available to help him so he had to teach himself

Phinks-

I feel like he is the type of guy to get colds very often so he knows how to deal with being sick if it’s that kind of sickness if you throw up, he will be a little discuss it, but he will clean it up and help his s/o clean them self up he would also be very gentle, caring, and supportive all the things that he should normally be but he’s not because it’s phinks

Franklin-

he would definitely be there for his s/o every step of the way he would get his s/o medicine, waters He would make a nice warm bath for you he would cook his s/o a nice dinner, properly soup or something with noodles something light weight, but could fill his s/o stomach and he would be very gentle and he would think very hard before he says anything, because sometimes he can come off as very passive aggressive

Chrollo-

Pretty much the same thing as Franklin except he wouldn’t be able to be available to his s/o all the time, but he sure as hell would work his ass off whenever he is at home to his sick s/o he would do all the housework and help his s/o out entirely

Sorry, if that was kind of short, I tried, and I think that I did pretty good I am honestly pretty satisfied with it!

Thank you for reading everybody. I hope you enjoyed just as much as I did!

I will see everybody in the next Post bye now!

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feralaot · 3 years

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how'd the aot characters be like when drunk? i've once read a hc about this topic would like to hear it from you too! keep up the good work btw i love your blog!

ahh tysm lovely anon! I like this idea :)

AOT characters + how they act when drunk

warnings: alcohol, mentions of vomit, hangovers

season 4 time, all characters are adults

eren

he can put back more than most, but is a massive angry drunk when he gets there. his voice gets louder and his face redder with every sip he takes. very high likelihood of getting into a fistfight, especially with jean if he’s unlucky enough to be in the vicinity. will probably spend the next morning vomiting and mikasa has to be there the whole time to make sure he doesn’t pass out with his face in a toilet

mikasa

doesn’t drink much because she pretty much has to act as eren’s wrangler for when he’s drunk. HOWEVER when she does drink she doesn’t drink a lot because it gives her killer headaches and she gets very touch averse. if someone so much as brushes against her she’ll lose her mind

armin

do not, under any circumstance, let armin have alcohol. he’s the biggest lightweight, a featherweight, if you will. two shots and he’s already an emotional mess going on long rants about how beautiful nature is and how precious his friends are to him

connie and sasha

these chaotic little disasters are a two for one deal. they only ever drink when they’re together because it’s “a lot more fun” and by fun they’re probably going to try communicating with animals and/or inanimate objects. jean is the responsible one and always puts away sharp objects or things that could possibly be used as weapons because at some point sasha will inevitably attempt to demonstrate “hunting methods”

jean

though he’s usually the semi responsible one and helps connie and sasha recover from hangovers, when he’s the drunk one he is BOUND to get everyone in trouble. tries to fight people, starts incoherent arguments, and by the end of the night he’s the one most likely to be arrested

historia

so so emotional. she’ll see a flower and start crying about how beautiful it is. she uses her small size to her advantage and curls up in places ymir can’t reach, just becomes completely feral. giggly as all hell and asks so many questions bc her brain cells are just absolutely buzzing

ymir

really cocky and really flirty. compliments historia and her friends endlessly, going off about how great they are and how much she appreciates them, but THEN she’ll turn around and completely flame someone. everything she thinks about them is made very clear. doesn’t start fights herself but will ABSOLUTELY stand her ground. drunk eren tries to fight drunk ymir and he gets his shit wrecked

reiner

it depends. usually he’ll just be sprawled out on the couch completely dead to the world. a heap of misery. on bad days he’ll start rambling to people about his emotions (despite them not asking) then proceeds to deny it ever happened by the time he’s conscious again. gets very touchy and will cling onto bertholdt like a monkey while he drags him around because he literally will not let go. he gets really really hungry too and would probably eat an entire block of cheese by himself should he happen to get his hands on one

bertholdt

so sweet and kind, barely different personality-wise to his sober self. he doesn’t drink much himself but will have beers with reiner sometimes. despite not knowing what the hell is going on he’ll sit and listen intently to someone talking even though he can’t really understand, then proceed to compliment them on how smart they are and probably give them hugs against their will. as you can probably guess, this is usually reiner. he manages to fall asleep in really strange places while drunk. examples: squished into a closet, wedged between the fridge and the wall, etc. somehow his drunk self finds this comfortable

annie

threatens to fight people but won’t actually do it unless she’s really angry for whatever reason. might just curl up on the couch and completely zone out, dead to the world, barely processing what’s going on around her. usually she refuses to move so it’s pretty normal for armin to have to pick her up and place her somewhere to recover. she’s the responsible one in the trio while sober however and will babysit bertholdt and reiner while they’re crying and holding each other or something

levi, erwin, and hange

neither levi or erwin get drunk drunk but will have glasses of wine together while gossiping about other scouts. meanwhile, hange is collapsed somewhere, probably face down in a potted plant. eventually levi and erwin have to flip a coin to decide which one of them is gonna be the one to drag hange out of their predicament and place them somewhere a little more comfortable where they can sleep. hange is barely conscious but laughing really loudly the whole time

porco and pieck

they really don’t like drinking, porco because he doesn’t want to do something he regrets and pieck because she doesn’t want to embarrass herself. and, of course, neither of them want to have to deal with the pain afterwards. HOWEVER if porco were to drink he would be 1. really fucking rude and probably mad at people for nothing and 2. sleepy as hell. literally just... he yells at someone and curses them out then goes straight to bed. he sleeps in weird positions while intoxicated and will somehow be sleeping peacefully while contorted like a cat. pieck on the other hand would be 1. very affectionate and kind and 2. somehow completely feral at the same time. she can’t stand on two legs while drunk and will often be laying on the ground just dead to the world (and sometimes people do actually check if she’s still alive)

zeke

I feel like he’s always at least slightly intoxicated. would probably hide a bottle of whiskey in an absolutely-not-conspicuous paper bag and write “work documents” on the outside of it with a marker. he’s very deadpan and monotone so his drunkenness could be mistaken for indifference. unfortunately he has the alcohol tolerance of a tank so it takes a lot for him to get pass-out-on-the-ground drunk. he also gets REALLY hungry so the other warriors have to hide their lunches from him because he will absolutely consume everything in his path

yelena

is probably very quiet and kind of just stands there like some kind of cryptid. will just linger and watch people. would probably try to hide herself behind a lamp post but, of course, everyone can see her. she refuses to believe that she can be seen however and despite being fucking huge she thinks she’s a master at hiding. has swan dived into a bush to “hide” on more than one occassion

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peachy-inserts · 4 years

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kageyama falling for someone/relationship hcs

request: hello!! so apparently ur taking haikyuu requests now so if it's not too troublesome, how abt some kageyama bf headcanons? thank you!! 😊

warnings: cursing

a/n: first haikyuu post, tysm! i hope this is ic for him, since its our first shot at this! i actually fell in love w him a little writing these, i didnt like him all that much before but now im realizing just how much of a sweetie he can really be aww (ik this just said bf hcs, but im adding it to our series!) long post, more under the cut

Kageyama is stubborn, he’s slow to come around to his own senses whenever he’s crushing one someone. It takes a good while for him to finally recognize what his own feelings are, and when he does it makes him sick. He’d be in denial for a while before he finally just couldn’t take it anymore and decided to bluntly ask you out

In the meantime, he becomes sort of stand offish with you. He wants to do nice things for you, but he just feels so silly doing it, he gets clammy, his palms are sweaty, and he can’t stop tripping over his own words

You make the blood rush to his face and the tips of his ears burn a bright red that is singed forever in his memory, who gave you the right to do that? He’s Tobio Kageyama, someone who doesn’t rely on others, who’s always sure of himself, and can’t be influenced by someone else’s opinions

He’s so blunt and nervous that it’s probably common knowledge by now to the rest of the Karasuno team that he has a massive crush on you, and the more he tries to deny it, the more he’s teased (by Sugawara especially, who eventually gets so sick of his love sick dazes that he bullies him into asking you out before he’s even considered it a possibility)

You may not even realize it yourself, though, with the way that he acts around you. It’s almost as if he’s pulling your hair, teasing you and then running off, but it’s not on purpose. He’s.. doing his best, but it certainly doesn’t come off that way. He only hopes that you aren’t offended by him, as most people seem to be

One of the major things holding him back is his fear of abandonment, his reputation being of no help in that. Even if you do show interest in him, he convinces himself that it’s only casual small talk, only a fabricated smile you use to make him so flustered that he excuses himself to finally leave you alone. Why would anybody ever want him? He’s cold, blunt, and clueless. He doesn’t really bring much to the table in a relationship, right?

So when he does finally ask you out, standing outside of the school just after class has let out for the day and tugging at the hems of his practice clothes all while trying not to bite his own tongue while he stutters, it comes as a bit of a shock to you

Is this some sort of prank?

You’re relieved, albeit confused, to know that he doesn’t actually hate you and in fact returns your feelings, and happily accept his confession to which he excitedly whoops and then runs off towards the gym, glad that it’s finally over with, before realizing just how rude of him that was

You haven’t moved an inch, completely bewildered by the event that seemed to have played out in front of you, when he comes back panting and asks you out on a date. Smooth, Kags…

Your date is, well, interesting. He’s super excited, nervous, and fucking terrified. He wants to vomit but he also kind of wants to hold your hand? Ugh, this sucks. And people just do this for fun? He fell for one person and feels as if his entire life has been turned upside down. This is your fault!

Once you officially start going out, he gets a little full of himself and despite how awkward he still is around you, he wastes literally no time whatsoever in rubbing it in Hinata’s face. He can’t do anything with Kageyama bringing up the fact that he has a s/o now and the red head still doesn’t

Smack him.

Past the beginning stages, once you’re established a stable and comfortable relationship with him, things are a lot different

While he’s himself around you, witty, sarcastic, and a little bit careless, he also feels the need to constantly impress you. He can’t start slacking; what if you get bored of him and leave him? He should always be striving to be the very best boyfriend he can be, even if he stumbles a few times on his never ending climb upward

He’s not super open to you about his feelings, but tries to make up for it in doing smaller things that he knows would mean a lot to him were they to come from you. He’ll get an extra snack at the vending machine, try and carry your bag whether you’re at school our out together, and listen to every song you send him (when you recommend music to him, he always teases you that it’s awful or makes his ears bleed, but he adds it to a playlist of songs that remind him of you and plays it whenever you’re around as a subtle way of letting you know it’s special to him, that he really does care. He’s not actually blowing you off)

Kageyama sees a Pusheen keychain set after practice one day, and even though it’s not something he’d ever buy for himself, he purchases the set and gives you the other half so you match. It’s so cute, and he turns beet red when somebody sees it attached to his bag one day and asks him about it. He tells them that you’re the one that bought it and he just didn’t wanna tell you no

Wow, he must be so caring, and they roll their eyes

He’s not big into PDA, but he doesn’t mind holding your hand when you walk together or giving you a quick peck on the forehead as a goodbye at the end of the day when you’re forced to part ways. He’s not that shy to show people whose you are >:)

As for jealousy… yikes. He could stand to be put into his place every once in a while, as he tends to snap at people and go completely over the top for small and petty reasons, often getting caught up in his own insecure and blinding rage that he forgets what even set him off in the first place

Whenever you come to his games, he’s completely thrown off. He’s not used to people showing up and cheering for him, and he gets so nervous that he’ll mess up in front of you that he wastes time trying to focus on impressing you and throws himself to off

He loves and you wanna support him, but… maybe it’s best if you just make up an excuse and send him off with a good luck charm

By the way, if you do happen to make him a good luck charm then he is going to carry it in his pockets for an eternity, not only at games but just in his day to day life, except for on days he gets to spend with you. He doesn’t need luck when you’re there, because he’s already struck gold

#kageyama x reader #kageyama hcs #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu hcs #kageyama imagine #mod josie #hq #hc #hcs #headcanons #kageyama #tobio kageyama

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juminsmysticmc · 5 years

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RFA plus Sarean and V found out MC is secretly on anxiety and/or depression meds. She hid it from them because she was scared of their reactions.

RFA + Minor Duo with a MC who secretly takes anxiety/ depression medications because she was scared of their reaction

TRIGGER WARNINGS! MENTION OF DEPRESSION, FEARS

Hello! Thank you for your request! Please everyone, be aware that this HC is triggering! My headcanons show only a scenario of this topic so please try to understand that this Headcanon won’t contain every detail. Thank you for reading the Headcanon.

Jumin

Once again it was a lonely Wednesday without your husband Jumin Han.

You sat on the black couch as you could felt that your breath went quicker.

The muscles around your heart thighed up, making it feel as if there was no space in the inside of your chest.

You looked at the blue-white box in your purse and opened it.

You quickly put the white pill with trembling hands on your tongue, making it melt, tasting the mealy flavor.

You still had side effects such as diarrhea sometimes even through you were taking the antidepressive for a long time now.

,,So lucky that I can take them always at the same time…“ you mumbled and looked around you.

Loneliness was around you.

The darkness and coldness of the room made you shiver.

You didn’t want this, you really didn’t.

,,Jumin….“ you began to sob again out of the blue, feeling only shame for your weak state.

You needed to hide this feeling, you wanted to support him after all, not being a burden for the man you loved the most.

In a completely different place a certain man named Jumin Han was worried for you, his love.

He realized that he left you alone since a long time now and he was really sorry for that.

Especially today he thought that he had to return back home and so he left everything undone to go to you.

You on the other side didn’t plan to see your husband until a few hours and decided to leave the medication on the table.

Instead you decided to try to sleep to catch up what you couldn’t do in your last days. You hated this side effect, so called insomnia.

Unfortunately this sleep wasn’t relaxing at all.

Instead someone began to shake you as soon as you dozed off.

,,Mc! What’s that!“ a man‘s voice asked you.

When he came home everything seemed oddly dark and he found your body on the couch with some strange medications on the table.

When he googled the medication he found out that you took antidepressants.

Shattered. That’s what happened to the heart you came to warm up.

Jumin hugged you tightly as he saw that you were about to cry.

,,I‘m sorry! I was so scared to tell you….scared that you will leave me, hate me….I missed you and felt lonely…I‘m such a coward I‘m sorry.“ you said with a trembling voice.

Your husband felt bad.

It was partly his fault, wasn’t it?

,,It’s okay. Okay….It’s no problem because we will get over it together….together, Mc….yes?“

Zen

Your fingers began to tremble as you scrolled through the new Iphone you just got.

It seemed as if the bad comments below your pictures would never come to an end.

As if you fell into an endless pool of hate, jealousy and loneliness.

You decided to click on the three little circles on the right to delete your Instagram post just to be boomed with hate messages, making you throw your phone in the last corner of the dark room.

Zen was out once again and you seemed unable to hold your tears.

When will it get better?

When will you laugh again?

When will you feel a warm smile on your lips, warming up the heart of the one you love?

Thinking about Zen made you shiver and sob even harder.

You finally decided to take the white pill which caused you often a dry mouth.

But you could bear the side effects like dizziness and nausea as long as you finally got better.

But unfortunately it seemed like it just couldn’t offer you the things you wanted to have.

You groaned as you threw the pills to your phone, and laid your head on your palm.

,,Jagiya?“ none other than Zen called you and entered the room.

You were too weak to look up, to make other noises than the sniffing ones.

Zen immediately approached you and checked you.

But the side effects of the pill made you dizzy once again and so you crushed against his body.

Zen immediately held you in his arms and supported you.

While he brought you to the couch he noticed the pills.

,,Mc…..’’ he mumbled and showed them to you.

,,What does that mean, princess?’’ he asked you calmly and waited for your explanation.

,,Uhhhuhhhh, I am so…..sorry….! Don’t leave me…..please….’’ you begged.

Zen stayed silent for a while and just hugged you.

His palms formed circles on your back while you sobbed into his shirt, explaining why you hid it from him, that you were taking this medication.

,,I….am so sorry….really…..the thing with Unknown and the Media scared me….out of the blue I wasn’t Hyun’s girlfriend anymore but Zen’s. Not only this, I was also the enemy of a lot of people….the haters….the situation scared me….I thought if I would tell you, you would leave me, hate me because I was a burden to your job….it scared me because I would never want you to stop being a star and so….-‚‘’

,,Mc….’’ he whispered.

Just now you noticed that he was sobbing with you.

,,You are so much more important….I will try to solve the whole situation, but if this won’t help, I will give up the agency for you….you are so much more important to me….really….’’ he told you and kept hugging you until you fell asleep.

,,Really….you scared me…I thought that you found out….’’ Zen mumbled as he took a bottle from his bag and put the same pill on his tongue you used before.

,,This is a sign, my parents always told me, a sign, we shouldn’t ignore it, should we?’’ he mumbled and began to write his resignation letter.

Yoosung

You observed the picture of the young blond haired woman and your husband.

Once again your fears hit you, your breathing began to get heavier, your hands began to tremble and got all sweaty as you thoughts went crazy again.

In front of the picture you broke down, your knees supporting you on the cold floor as your nose almost touched the floor.

You tried to breath in and out but you failed.

What if Yoosung would leave you? Hate you for not being like Rika?

Or trying to find once again similarities between you and the deceased perfect girl to just find a reason to still stay by your side?

You couldn’t handle the thoughts and opened the drawer with the last strength you had in your arms to take out the pills you hated the most.

You took two, one of them was deeply red and the other one white.

Both of them tasted awful but still, you needed them.

Even through they made you lose your hair a lot and made you gain weight, your thigh feeling around your chest would get better immediately.

But you still weren’t used to the side effects by the medicine.

,,Try to hold it in…try….’’ you mumbled to yourself.

You laid back on the cold floor as tears streamed on the floor.

But then you heard the door‘s click and some steps.

,,Mc why are you laying on the floor?“ he mumbled with a kind, softly voice.

,,Huh? Mc! Are you hurt? W-why are you crying?“ Yoosung mumbled softly and sat on the floor with you.

You were scared, the thoughts that he could see your medication scared you and so the urge to hid it got bigger and bigger.

You groped on the floor until you got them, while Yoosung looked at you.

But as clumsy as you were you let them fall once again, making your husband looking at your hand.

,,What’s that…?“ he asked you still softly and took the medication to read it’s name.

His smile quickly faded as he observed you, who were still on the floor.

Your tears were still flowing and immediately you tried to get up.

,,What’s that?“ he asked you but immediately went on.

,,Why do you need to take it? Why did you hid it?“ he mumbled and immediately cried with you.

,,Yoosung….“ you kept sobbing and began to hyperventilate.

,,MC!“ he yelled and abruptly got up to take a paper bag.

,,Please….please calm down please I‘m here, I‘m here I love you….!“ he told you.

Your breathing got better you however collapsed into his arms, sweat was on your front as you grabbed your shirt.

,,Mc…why did you hid it?“ he asked you.

,,I….I was so scared, Yoosung!“ you began to whisper.

,,I was scared that you would leave me because….because I wasn’t as perfectly as Rika was….I didn’t want you to be disappointed….“ you sobbed.

Yoosung hated himself, he thought that it was his fault that you were like this, scared and afraid.

Only his fault…

Yoosung‘s heart ached as he hugged you.

He tried to mumble sweet things to you but right now you seemed deaf at his words.

,,The two of you are completely different people…I love you as a woman, I want to protect you and cherish you…I want to own your love…so please be totally different from Rika….be yourself and however you will be, I will love you.“

Jaehee

,,Mc…“ Jaehee mumbled as she stroked your back while you vomited into the toilet.

Please please please please please please don’t make her notice, worry, don’t….

You thought as the side effects of the medication hit you once more.

,,We should go to the medical, Mc….since days you have been feeling sick…you’re always dizzy and don’t eat at all….besides….we don’t have much sex anymore…“ she mumbled and blushed.

You wanted to say something as the nausea hit you once more, making you gag again.

,,I will bring you something to drink…“ Jaehee mumbled and left you alone for a moment.

She entered the kitchen to take a glass when she noticed that the water had run out.

,,Well then, water from the bath will do it too…“ she mumbled and went to the bathroom to fill the glass.

Unfortunately she noticed that your drawer was open and while closing it, she noticed two boxes.

She oddly looked at them, realizing that this were depression meds.

She felt sick and her hands began to tremble, why would you take them? And since when? How come you never shared your pain with her?

She decided to approach you with the pills while you washed out your mouth in the sink.

Jaehee entered the little toilet and observed you.

,,Mc, could it be that your symptoms are side effects of the medication you’re taking?“ she asked you.

Your eyes grew as you noticed her holding the pills.

,,Jaehee….“ you began to sob immediately.

,,I know…I know Mc but why didn’t you tell me?“ she asked you, perhaps her voice was a bit too annoyed.

,,I‘m sorry…I really am….I thought that you wouldn’t like me…we don’t know each other so long time and didn’t want to scare you with this…“ you told her and looked down.

Jaehee felt bad, out of the blue she began to cry with you, hugging you and comforting you.

The two of you stayed together like that for a long time, you still were scared, what if she would leave you now that she knew your problems?

While Jaehee was asleep you went out of your shared room and searched the pills, took the portion for the day and sank to the ground, crying.

Saeyoung

,,Yes, yes. Thank you.“ Saeyoung said over the phone as he talked to the third doctor of yours.

He knew that something was awfully wrong and the doctor over the phone just confirmed his thoughts.

You were sick for such a long time, feeling a dry mouth, not being hungry but still gaining weight or just having headaches.

And you never got headaches….

It was totally odd and Saeyoung began to worry because he had an idea what it could be.

After all Saeran had the same when he came home from Rika‘s mean doings-and he took antidepressants.

He never thought that you, his lovely fiancé would be depressive.

Would be so sick to take medication.

But now he understood.

Saeyoung sat down for a moment to try to collect his ideas.

Were you already in therapy?

Was there something else he didn’t know about?

Saeyoung decided to first check which medication you were taking before coming to talk to you.

He searched all over the place for the pills.

But he couldn’t find any evidence.

,,But the doctor said that yesterday she took them from the pharmacy again….“ he mumbled, now almost giving up.

But then, he understood - they were still in your purse!

He was an agent in the past, he knew how to hack computers and how to deceive people but Saeyoung Choi didn’t know how to take his fiancé‘s purse!

When he finally found an opening his plan failed totally.

,,Babe? What are you doing with my purse?“ you asked him.

He could already hear that your voice was trembling.

Saeyoung quickly tried to hide what he was doing but you quickly saw that your medication was in his hands.

,,Wh-why do you have my medication in your hands?!“ you asked him.

Saeyoung looked at you.

,,The correct question is: Why didn’t you tell me?“

You looked away, you were simply trying to avoid his gaze but even through you couldn’t see his eyes, his gaze was burning on you.

,,I….was scared.“ you finally confessed.

,,Of what, Mc?“ he asked you softly when he noticed that your hands were trembling.

,,When we first met you…you were so angry at me….and then…You already had Saeran to look after….the agency was bugging you and V‘s death….how could I possibly annoy you with my problems? What if you would hate me, for being like that? I wanted your love and-“

,,Mc! You should have told me! Because you will never be annoying to me! I love you…you helped me so much and I didn’t notice that you were sad….Please tell me for the future. I want you to be happy with me….“

Saeyoung begged and hugged you.

The two of you cried together for a long time.

Saeyoung then asked you to do an appointment so that he could be with you and the doctor.

He wanted to give his best at supporting you.

Saeran

He often noticed that his medication was missing, since he didn’t need it since a few months.

However he never imagined that you, the one who saved him from despair would need them.

When he found out he was devastated.

He was angry.

Angry at himself for not noticing that you were unhappy, that you weren’t well.

Saeran felt as if his happiness was one sided.

You seemed always cheerfully but you weren’t.

But Saeran couldn’t see any side effects on you.

,,Could it be that she takes them since such a long time that there aren’t any side effects anymore…….?’’ he asked himself.

He was so puzzled, the two of you decided to go to the mountains for a few months, here the two of you didn’t have a doctor or a clinic.

,,Saeran…’’ you mumbled when you came out of the room.

Just now he noticed that you looked really thin and were really pale.

,,Mc, did you take my medications?’’ he asked you bluntly.

Your surprised eyes made him sure that he was right with his accusations.

,,Why….how….?’’ you asked him.

,,Well, I saw that they were becoming less and lesser.’’ Saeran said.

He approached you and stroked your cheek.

You blushed immediately.

Your eyes turned red and teared up.

He put your hair behind your ear and took your hand, kissing every finger.

You sobbed by now.

,,What are you doing, Saeran?’’ you asked him, trying to get away.

,,I’m kissing every part of your body, stroking your and showing you how much I love you. I want you to trust me, Mc….why didn’t you tell me? I thought that after what happened to me the two of us would have a different bond…..’’ he told you.

You gave him a nod ,,Yes yes I know….!’’ you sobbed harder.

,,But you were troubled with your own problems, we still didn’t find Saeyoung….! Our plan was a fail and I didn’t want to worry you….I’m so sorry….I thought you would hate me because of this….’’

Saeran looked at you, his eyes showed pure love.

His love for you grew only more, you needed him.

He felt bad but at the same time he felt needed.

He wanted to help you, to make you feel that he was right by your side.

,,We will ask Jumin to help us out….okay?’’ he asked you and thought that you would agree.

You however shocked your head.

,,Let’s go through this together without Jumin, please….’’

,,Your wish is my order….I love you….’’

Jihyun

You began to sob as you looked at the medication.

Your table was filled with little boxes.

You hated them but you also needed them.

The biggest problem was that you couldn’t tell Jihyun.

What if he would leave you?

What if the same situation would occur?

Would you end up like Rika?

All these thoughts were killing you, making you sob harder.

With trembling hands you approached the table and tried to take one of the pill.

Unfortunately it slipped from your hand and crashed on the floor, spreading white powder all over the place.

Your sobs seemed to attract Jihyun since just s few moments later he entered the room.

When he saw the mess on the floor his heart dropped.

Before saying anything he however first hugged you, pressing your face into his chest.

,,Pssst….“ he summed making you sob harder.

,,I‘m sorry!“ you whined as he comforted you.

,,I‘m sorry….I didn’t want this….“ you cried and soaked his shirt.

,,I know….“ he repeated and held you into his arms for a long time.

Afterwards you told him why you never told him about your medication and when it first started.

,,I know, I may not be able to make you feel better yet but please know that there’s a difference between you and Rika.

The same goes with the feelings I have for you and for Rika.

So please don’t worry and be assured, I won’t let you end up like her, I will protect you, and this time I won’t fail, okay?“

MASTERLIST 1MASTERLIST 2

06.05.’19// 00:00 MEST

Tagged:

@foreversunshine-love @giulia2372 @milkyxstrawberry

@widya345 @remiliadacalde @sailormoonrocks666 @r-f-a-journalists

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wildlingknight · 6 years

Text

So like I wrote this stuff down around September 2017 with the intention to write a fic about it (I might still do that when I have more time) but it’s just sitting and festering in my drive so I’ll put it here for now and build on it when uni is done. It’s a super long post but I did put a cut in.

There’s a whole bunch of mind vomit stuff here:

I was talking to my discord group about things that could have been added to Botw because I’d gotten to a point in the game when I’d done mostly everything and was just putting off facing Ganon because I didn’t want it to end. So I came up with gods and spirits that you might meet in random places and sometimes they have quests for you or something. Taken directly from the server:

“This isn't really a hc more a random idea but what if there were time specific places on the map in botw? Like I just found place on the side of death mountain called shadow hamlet ruins, what if you go there and it's just some ruined houses with a meteor wizzrobe in any other time but on the night of a new moon there's like creepy shadows that kinda come out of the wood work and shadows of the ruins and they don't exactly attack you but make you super uneasy and circle you a bit and it's like the people who lived and died there as a result of the calamity, like we know it corrupts the living but what if it doesn't let the dead rest either?

Like there are places all over hyrule that are just places until you visit them on a specific night or day or when certain parameters are met and you have a unique little event happen like a person you wouldn't meet any other time with items you can only get from them or maybe the dragons rest somewhere and you can just stumble across them, or more spirits and godlike beings who you wouldn't come across any other time apart from this one random spit of woodland halfway up the dueling peaks on a night where it's raining you come across an ethereal glowing woman or something who watches over the plants and mushrooms like glow like her, and you can't really interact with them because we are insignificant to them, they are so indifferent to us with our mortal comings and goings that the most we can hope for is a glimpse of them, just to make the world feel even more alive than it already does

I think Link is more aware of them because he is goddess chosen, goddess touched, and he's a gentle and pure soul who they in turn are drawn to, I like that he has a connection to them through having being dead but I personally like to think they're a bit afraid of him, he was brought back through science like magic without the godesses interference or hands, that shouldn't happen he died and by all means should have stayed dead but here he is, wandering hyrule saving people and dragons and riding gods across plains and placating giant mechanical creatures that will only listen to him, in their eyes he's a fucking monster or demon

And they know you don't piss off a demon who denied death so they're cautious but curious in equal measure”

And then neatened up and made less mind vomity:

Ruins

On specific nights- different for each ruin- the ghosts of the people who lived and died there during the calamity come out on the night they were wiped out. Different for each place depending on how close they were to castle and what the actual cause was, e.g. castle town would have been hit first and hardest by the Calamity itself so that would get spooky on the night of Zelda’s birthday every year. If they are fairly far away from the castle e.g. Shadow Hamlet ruins on the far side of Death Mountain, it would be a different night and they would feel different due to the nature of their deaths, such as being wiped out by monsters fuelled and powered by the Calamity. They don’t attack but most travellers accidentally come across them and fear for their lives saying ruins are haunted at night so they try to avoid them, preferring to go to living villages or taking their chances with monsters out on the roads or in the woods. When Link (and later Zelda) enter the ruins on the specific night they act up the spirits hiss and circle him and lament their passing in groans and wails but they do not come close because he is light and they cannot touch him. He died for them and Zelda cried for them, they are Goddess chosen and Goddess touched.

Lesser Gods and Spirits

Found all over Hyrule, again during different specific times when certain parameters are met.

A lesser Goddess who watches over plants and mushrooms that glow with the same ethereal light as her- can only be found where they grow in abundance, like the pillar in Kakariko on a rainy night during a new moon, and also conversing with Cotera the great fairy there.

A giant stag with two faces who watches over the life and death of animals, seen all over Hyrule as long as there’s a moon showing, so not on cloudy nights. Eyes like miniature galaxies and coat the colour of moss, fur appears to be made of grass and hooves of wood and several times the amount of antlers normal deer have that are white like bleached bone and strung with what looks to be pearls.

A woman with long black hair, horns like a Lynels and the face of a wolf who’s snout ends turned up like a Moblin’s, with three eyes that constantly glow like the reflection of a cats at night and who’s mouth doesn’t move when she speaks in a growl and smoke and sparks emits from her open mouth over her lolling black tongue- the Mother of Monsters and she hates Link.She doesn’t attack him when he meets her but she is unkind to him and she growls and snarls at him, threatening to curse him and his children’s children for as many of hers he has killed. Found in Akkala in Rok woods and Tempest Gulch most commonly but also occasionally other places, can take the form of a monstrous wolf when the need to escape arises.

A child made of water that swims with the fish, watches over everything that lives and breathes in water. The Zora refer to them as ‘The Child of Nayru’, and offer to them to keep the fish they eat good and plentiful. Seen by Link on the banks of the Rutala river when he stops for a drink after tackling the Rucco Maag shrine. Ripples like water constantly so it’s difficult to pin down specific features or gender, and voice is almost gurgling sounding

A giant scarab beetle, white and iridescent, often seen in the desert around Dragon’s exile and known to Tera, the great fairy at the Gerudo Great Skeleton, the god of all insects. (There’s a joke going round Hyrule that Beedle is the god of all insects.)

The spirits that are just going about their work are cautious but curious about Link. Usually they are indifferent to mortals, their everyday motions and wants insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The Calamity was a tragedy, but nature still goes on so they can’t afford to abandon their work.

Link and Zelda

The Gods are frightened of them. Link died and should be subject to the laws of all living things but here he stands, blemished but alive, and yet it was not the Goddesses who chose this, it was without their aid, a magic forged by man. Instead he wanders, alive and well, helping who he can, man and spirit alike, Dragons take notice of him, Gods allow his burden upon their backs, abominable machines who listen to only him, at his command. And Zelda isn’t dead either, they should be dead, they had their time, had their chance. They carry too much light within them it hurts the spirit’s and god’s eyes to look upon them.

Once while I was playing with my friend we were talking about the koroks and I came up with a hc on how they’re born I guess:

“Maybe they're branches that fall off the deku tree when they start to rot because hes old as balls so I bet he loses branches like old men lose hair and then because of like forest magical bullshit they become the new children of the forest and they grow up to be like Hestu and it takes thousands of years for them to reach like 'maturity' but when it's time for the deku tree to die one of the korok will take his place but all those who grow to maturity before he dies go out into the lost woods and set up root and become the ogre trees”

And then because I like to hurt them while they’re all sleeping:

“I'll just leave this here for when y'all wake up, what if the reason Wild likes to eat so much is because he is trying to fill the void of loneliness left behind after his friends in the army start treating him differently after he becomes the chosen one and because of Zelda's initial dislike of him then after he wakes up from the shrine of resurrection he doesn't know why he's so hungry all the time until after he starts remembering zelda and then realises he's doing the same thing, trying to fill the void left in him after losing everyone he loved and half his memories and having to wait until he's strong enough to see Zelda again”

Enjoy!

#Random stuff I write #I have so much stuff on my drive that I need to do something with #But uni is taking all of my time #Botw #Legend of Zelda #Breath of the wild #Link #Zelda

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juminsmysticmc · 5 years

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Could I request reactions of when (mc and rfa+v dating) mc find out she has an terminal illness and ask them to break up without tell them,she wants them to hate her so they do not grieve too much,so when they know mc already died, angst if you cant its ok ilike your imagination♡0♡

RFA + V with a Mc who finds out that she will die soon and makes them hate her to not make them suffer for her

Huhhhh why do you need to make me cry this much! I hope you like my angst, really…please tell me because I personally think that this is one of my best Hc and for the first time I’m really really really proud of myself! Have fun and don’t cry!

Ps. I watched the Kdrama ,,Uncontrollably Fond’’ where the main lead (Kim Woo Bin) is ill, like Mc in this request and tries to find his old love just to see how much she changed but still loves her. And so the female lead (Suzy) and him go through a lot of hardships since she doesn’t know about his illness at first. I really liked the Drama, it was filled with emotions and secrets! And then after the Drama I found out that Kim Woo Bin was really sick after the Drama, luckily he overcame the illness, I’m soo happy! I first knew him from ,,the Heirs’’ and I didn’t really like him ( Lee MinHo forever haha) but now, ahh I like him! Are there any Kim Woo Bin fans? Now, enough talking, go and read the Headcanon for real!

ATTENTION! This headcanon can trigger! Don’t read if you can’t handle the mention of: Self harm, death, illness, suicide

Jumin

,,You must have seen wrong, Doctor.“ you snapped as the doctor told you about the illness you had.

You were so young, barely 30 and now he told you that you were going to die?

,,How long?“ you asked him.

It wasn’t a long time anymore, you knew.

The doctor told you to please go to the hospital to get treatment.

Without any help, you would live about three months.

You however took your purse and glared at him.

,,If you dare to tell my husband, I will sue you and destroy you.“ you snapped with a trembling voice.

It wasn’t like you to be like that. Perhaps the fear deep in your heart made you tell him these things.

You walked out of the room and walked to the parking lot.

With a click you turned on the radio and began to sob loudly.

What should you tell him now?

Should you even tell him?

And then, you made up your mind.

Once at home you had time for one hour.

You decided to make a video for Jumin.

In there you told him the reason for your lie.

,,I‘m home!“ Jumin called as he opened the door.

You smiled at him and hugged him.

Our last hug….you thought.

As you kissed him, you thought about your last kiss and when you smiled at him, you thought about the last time you could see his beautiful eyes shining at the view of you.

You knew you were selfish but you thought it was for his best.

For the next months the two of you went on trips and every time you went away, you met a former friend.

You tried to make him jealous and angry.

You didn’t only make up relationships, but you also tried to discuss with him about everything.

Deep in your heart it was painful for you too.

But for him you wanted to be in pain even in your afterlife.

The third month finally arrived. Jumin still tried to hold into you but he wasn’t as happy as before anymore.

,,You’re a big cold hearted ass, Jumin Han! Everything I cared about was your money! You know what? I want to have a divorce. Finally get rid of you!“ you yelled and rushed out.

Jumin Han stayed behind and finally cried after a long long time.

He didn’t know that you were in pain, ill and worried about him.

He didn’t know that you hated yourself, that you didn’t mean it, that you didn’t want it.

He didn’t know that you tried to protect him.

Three months later Jumin tried to call you for the last sentence for the divorce.

His anger against you was making him grow colder than he was in the past.

,,Yes?“ a man responded your phone with a trembling voice.

Jumin‘s jealously grew once again.

,,Who are you, Sir? I wanted to talk to Mc.“ he said.

,,I‘m-no, we need to meet up. I guess you’re her ex-husband, right? I have something for you.“ the man mumbled and told Jumin a place and time.

Not long after the two of them met, Jumin Han was a totally different man.

To get to know your cousin and to get to know the news that you died crushed his heart.

The video he gave him, scared him.

Even more did the sight of your crying face.

,,Hello Jumin. If you’re now watching this video it must mean that I‘m dead….haha. How weird to say this. Today I got told that I‘m ill. Deadly ill. I decided to protect your heart and make you hate me. I hope I didn’t fail and that today, you won’t love me as you loved me in the past….I hope that today you’re not in pain without me by your side…Just know that I love you, loved you and will love you forever. Please forgive me. I did everything for you…believe me….“

Jumin Han couldn’t bear it anymore.

He watched the video about three times until he finally decided to sue the doctor.

Afterwards he spend all his money and strength in donations for ill people who were diagnosed with a deadly illness.

And of course he spend his money on wine, a lot of wine.

Three bottles a day in front of the television with your last video, a picture of you and your good smelling pajamas.

Without you this man was broken.

,,Mc….rather than spending these days in hate I would have loved it to spend good days with you….why did you make this decision…?“ he often asked you while he was crying his eyes out.

Zen

,,Ahhhhh so exciting!“ you giggled to yourself as you patted your flat belly.

Since days you were feeling dizzy and had to vomit.

You were sure of it, you were pregnant.

You still didn’t know that you were wrong.

You didn’t know that soon you would be confronted with awful news.

The shock almost made you throw up.

This time however you weren’t happy at your body’s reaction.

You were scared, angry and helpless.

,,But…are you sure that I will die?“ you asked your doctor as tears slowly slipped down your cheeks.

,,Yes, I‘m sorry to tell you about your illness. We can however decelerate this. We need to send you to the-“

,,Sorry. But, will it help me? I will still die. I would rather die now than make my loved ones live with me in pain. Please don’t tell it anybody. My family can’t know about it.“ you begged.

Without an explanation you left the room and walked back home.

The happiness you had earlier disappeared.

Everything but this, you begged and quickly your legs gave up as you began to cry.

,,No no no no no no no no no please please please please please no!“ you begged.

And now? You knew you couldn’t destroy the love of your life, if Zen would know about this he would be as dead as you….

That’s when you got the idea to just break up with him.

You entered your shared home and waited for Zen.

You deeply hoped that your plan would work out and that today would be the last day of your life together with Zen.

Because you just couldn’t bear to lie at him.

,,Hi princess, how was your day?“

,,Hi Zenny~ I saw such a beautiful young man~ why don’t you cut your hair? They are ruined. I think we should change job. We would be such good teachers for example ~!“

,,Mc, are you kidding me?“ he asked you and you noticed that his mood was getting bad.

,,I just wanted to change you~ but I guess I failed. Just let’s break up…I didn’t imagine my life like this.“ you told him with an evil smile.

Zen stayed open mouthed and looked at you.

What did you mean?

But he couldn’t react quickly enough, you already stamped out and left the apartment.

Since then the two of you didn’t speak anymore.

Instead you posted disgusting emojis below his posts to make him hate you even more.

,,Mc…why didn’t you tell him…?“ your sister asked you with tears in her eyes.

,,Do you really want to die without the man you love?“ she asked you as she held your hand.

Finally your time came.

You were thin, you couldn’t even move a muscle anymore.

,,Take…..the letter….in my purse….if Zen would get to know the truth….give him the letter…..“ you tried to tell her.

She nodded and asked you to please stay awake as she took the letter.

But you couldn’t stand it anymore.

Your thoughts were filled with Zen and your eyes searched for him.

In the last seconds of your life you stayed alone.

All your wrongdoings came back to your mind and as you breathed your last breath, you said his name ,,Zen“.

Three years passed, Zen tried to check several times your social media accounts but it was no use, as is if you had disappeared.

Your family also behaved odd that’s how he came to know that you died.

He was shocked as he read your sisters post and so the next day he met her.

,,To be honest I did this on purpose, Hyun. She didn’t want you to know but…..well. Here, a letter from her. I should give it you if you would come to know about her death.“ you sister mumbled while crying. She got up, hugged him, apologized a last time and went away, leaving the young white haired man on his own.

As Zen read the letter, a lot of things came to make sense.

Zen read the letter a lot of times until he decided to follow you.

His dream was to let you know how stupid your decision was and how much he still loved you.

And so Zen died only four years later after your death day, thinking about you

,,I want you to live, who are you kidding, Mc….I want to live with you…“

Yoosung

,,RIKA RIKA RIKA RIKA! I‘m fucking annoyed! You only talk about Rika and LOLOL, Yoosung! Grow up, IDIOT! I will just go to the man who approached me yesterday. I‘m fucking finished!“ you yelled at the blond man who was tearing up.

He didn’t even have the strength to ran after you, to stop you or beg you for forgiveness.

As soon as you packed your things and left the house, you began to cry.

The cold rain pounded on you as the tears rolled down your cheeks.

The coldness outside was almost warm, compared to the loneliness in your heart which made you shiver.

You were indeed a bad woman, you lied and crushed him without blinking, you thought.

,,Illness…to hell!“ you snapped and got up and like a strong woman you entered the hospital to get hospitalized.

,,Oh, Mrs Kim! Who are you writing again?“ the Nurse asked you as she handled you over the pictures you asked her to print.

,,My husband!“ you said with a big smile as you looked at the pictures.

Hair and chest were missing but you were sure, that everything would get better soon.

,,Oh, he‘s in the abroad?“ she asked you.

When you however told her that he didn’t know, her face froze.

It didn’t take long and your situation got even worser.

At some point the nurse begged you to call Yoosung but you never lost hope.

Until one morning you died, alone in the white hospital room.

,,Who’s that?!“ Yoosung snapped as he threw his head phones on the floor.

How long has it been after you left him?

After he lost your whereabouts?

When he opened the door his hopes of seeing you got crushed.

The nurse who was caring for you, was at his door and handled him the letters ,,She fought until her last breath. She was a wonderful woman who mistook one decision. I‘m sorry for your loss.“ she told him and left.

Yoosung read the letters and looked at all the pictures you sent him.

His tears didn’t stop and soaked your last letters.

,,Dear Yoosung, you’re reading this letters while I‘m probably in front of you! We did it, Yoosung! We finally fought, I‘m healthy and alive, Rika‘s faith spared us.

I deeply hope that you will forgive me, Yoosung because I really did my best in order to spare you from these hard moments. I love you.“

Yoosung didn‘t know what to do, the young man cursed you and everyone.

He began to toss all kind of objects around him.

Because this lost was a hard one, a loss which would leave his heart empty forever.

Jaehee

You watched your beautiful girlfriend as she served a guest with a big smile.

You loved her just so much, you wanted to protect her with all your strength.

That’s why you had to do what you planned in your little head.

,,Jaehee.“ you called her after everyone left.

,,Yes?“ she responded and turned her head to you, her beautiful long hair danced as she looked at you.

Her beauty made it even harder for you to break up.

,,I….I decided to move out. This shop…it’s a big burden for me. I hate it here.“ you told her.

,,I would like to break up with you.“ you said.

She didn’t even have time to respond as you began to throw away the cake you prepared for the next day.

,,I HATE IT HERE!“ you screamed and began to sob.

You didn’t want to do it like that, but the fear of your soon death scared you.

Even more the thought about the fact that you will die while she would hate you.

You left the shop sobbing and left Jaehee behind.

You didn’t hear from her for a long long time.

She never called you and so did you.

The only one who knew the real issue was Jumin who was also by your side while you faced the hardship.

Well, to be honest deep in your heart you wanted him to carry your secret as a payback for Jaehee‘s hardships but in the end it turned out that you just wanted someone by your side.

,,How is she…?“ you mumbled after he let you slip a bit of water.

,,Together with Yoosung she‘s working again for me. She cut her hair and closed the shop.“ Jumin said without showing any feelings.

,,So my act will be in vain?“ you asked him.

,,Sometimes it’s just better to say something personally. People think they can protect each other like that, but that’s not true. In the end they just get hurt deeply.“

,,You speak as if you’re not human, Mr Han.“ you teased him and had to cough.

,,Mc, I said several times that I would pay for the hospital fees why didn’t you get hospitalized?“ he asked you.

,,You did more than I actually wanted you to do….“ you told him.

The next day Jumin came, he found two letters on your table. Unfortunately you fell asleep forever after writing them.

A lonely sleep.

,,Dear Jumin.

Thank you for everything you did. Please give this letter to Jaehee. I want to see her a last time. And in order to make her come I wrote the letter. I decided to write you a letter too because it seemed more prettier. And besides I was so sleepy and wanted you to let her know right away. Would you do me this last please? If I‘m asleep, please wake me up~“ the letter said.

Jumin Han shed a tear. You couldn’t see it or hear his sobbing sounds, but he cried for you.

,,Mc had a reason.“ he told Jaehee when he came back.

,,Mr Han I appreciate it that you want us to make up but-“

,,This wasn‘t my intention, Assistant Kang. I wanted her to rest in peace and you…to live without any regrets. Please read the letter and go to give her your goodbyes.“ Jumin told her.

Jaehee softly opened the letter and read every word.

Tears slipped down her face as she read your begs.

To please come to visit her, let you see her beautiful eyes, smell her long hair and listen to her beautiful voice as she talked about the shop.

For several days Jaehee couldn’t get a hold of her life.

As she looked at the shop from the outside, she noticed that everything seemed lonely, cold and dark but when Jaehee remembered your letter, her life began to bloom once again.

,,Please go on with your dream. Our dream, I will always support you.“ your last sentence said.

Saeyoung

,,I’m off!’’ you said and left through the door to go to the hospital.

Since a few days you were feeling odd, you had headaches and felt sick, you also lost a lot of hair and your vision kept getting bad.

You decided to go to the medical.

Saeyoung knew but had no time to go with you.

But your soon to be husband promised you that he would check your condition through the doctors files.

Although you often begged him to stop hacking.

Well, you could never be sure and that’s why today you had two assignments.

Saeyoung although knew only about one, the fake one.

You first went to the fake appointment, you needed new birth control pills, that’s why everything went by pretty quickly, the next one was the real appointment.

Saeyoung didn’t know about this one, and it was good so.

Because the awful truth you came to know would stay your secret forever.

You looked at your tests as you realized that you were really dying.

,,What did you say, doctor? I….I won’t live more than four months…?’’ you asked him again as tears filled your brown eyes.

The doctor nodded.

,,No, Sir, you must have done a mistake, there’s….it’s impossible!’’ you began to sob and cried.

,,No, I’m sorry to tell you that the test is right. But if you like, I could make another appointment for you with another doctor.’’ he told you.

,,No, no…thank you…’’ you mumbled.

Deep in your mind you already knew that you were dying, deep in your heart you could already feel the sadness and loneliness.

Your pale body would soon lay into the tight coffin, darkness would surround you below the ground, coldness will accompany you forever.

You were at the end of your nerves, you were scared.

What would you tell him, the man of your life?

After all he went through, you couldn’t tell him that you would join V.

Your hands began to tremble as you thought about Saeran who still was in a critical situation, Saeyoung wouldn’t be able to survive this on his own, he wouldn’t!

,,But fuck…he’s such a genius!’’ you sobbed harder as you began to chew on your nails.

,,This is all because I kept eating unhealthy things, because I judged Rika, V is giving me his payback for everything what happened in the RFA!’’ you cried.

That day you came home late, Saeyoung was pretty happy to see you but you felt sick at his smile.

He was so happy and your happiness would vanish soon.

,,Crap!’’ you snapped to yourself and slapped your cheek at your ill minded thoughts.

Saeyoung deserved happiness…why were you like that?!

After that moment you noticed that you needed to break up immediately.

,,Mc….why are you packing your stuff?’’ Saeyoung asked you.

,,Saeyoung, you were right, you will hurt me…you are dangerous….you…you are so…difficult to live with! I…I feel like dying with you! I…can’t I’m sorry…this is all to much…please become happy without me and look after Saeran but please let me go, let me live happily!’’ you begged and slapped yourself in your thoughts.

Why did you say that? Why would you hurt him like that? You knew that Saeyoung would get hurt by that, you knew perfectly that he would be unhappy but still, your thoughts kept hunting you.

He could be happy, you not, so why not hurting him?

,,SHUT THE FUCK UP I HATE IT!’’ you screamed and threw everything on the ground.

,,I HATE YOU!’’ you yelled even loader.

,,YOU….YOU! IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU!’’ you panicked and began to cry harder, cold tears dripped on the floor while a few came to touch your lips.

The salt taste of your tears made you notice your words.

You wanted to apologize, beg him for forgiveness and help but all you said was a simply ,,I hate you.’’

With that you left him behind, Saeyoung saw his nightmare in front of him.

He tried to chase you but you glared at him.

,,I won’t give up….’’ he mumbled as he saw you leave.

He didn’t give up on his brother either and now he was together with him again so why should he let you suffer alone?

He knew that something was wrong and that’s why he decided to leave you for a bit.

But perhaps he left you alone for too long.

Because five months later everything about you disappeared.

Nothing was left and the fear that someone could have harmed you let him tremble even in his dreams.

But he never expected to find out about your death.

It was as if he was trapped in a never ending nightmare when he read your doctors files.

Every file said ,,deceased’’.

Was this true?

Saeyoung visited every grave yard and asked everyone about you but he didn’t find you either.

,,Maybe she…she found someone who could hack too?’’ Yoosung mumbled as the RFA were on their way to visit Jihyun’s grave.

Saeran went with them but abruptly stopped his steps as he saw a face he didn’t see for a long time - yours.

,,S….Saeyoung….’’ he mumbled.

,,Huh…?’’ Saeyoung whispered as he followed his brothers eyes to your grave, next to the blue haired man’s one.

,,Huh…?’’ he croaked.

,,No….’’ he mumbled and fell on his knees.

,,NO MC! MC! MC! I’M SORRY FOR MY JOKES, DON’T….DON’T BE LIKE THAT!’’ the red haired man screamed, making everyone notice your grave.

,,NO NO NO NO NO NO!’’ he sobbed harder as his hands touched the cold ground, digging into the dirt to save you from down there.

,,No no no no she’s afraid SHE’S AFRAID OF DARK PLACES!’’ he screamed louder and tried to burrow up your grave.

Only Zen, Jumin and his brother were strong enough to hold him back.

Saeyoung could only read the sentence on your grave before his mind went blank, before he lost his head.

,,The space dust of me will whisper ,,I love you’’ into the infinity of the universe’’

None dared to say it but everyone knew that he would follow you, but none knew that he would follow you so soon….

Jihyun

,,I love you….’’ he whispered as he stroked your hair.

You kissed his cheek and closed your eyes.

Until now you never knew that you were such a good actor, you never knew that you could deceive people so good.

But right now you were doing it.

The truth was that you were ill, you wouldn’t be able to live as long as you thought and wished for.

You would have to leave your boyfriend soon.

You could hear your boyfriend mumble in his dreams while you observed him.

You wanted to break up with him, to let him hate you.

But you already knew that he couldn’t hate you, he even loved Rika so deeply….

While you were watching your handsome boyfriend you were thinking about a way to make him hate you and with thoughts about this problem you fell asleep.

The next morning Jihyun got woken up by a loud thud and screams.

When he went to check on you were throwing around his paintings and pictures.

The man you loved didn’t dare to move an inch as he saw you destroying everything.

,,YOU!’’ you screamed when you saw him, faking anger was pretty hard for you, you loved him after all.

But right now your thoughts were filled with your deadly illness.

,,YOU DREAMED ABOUT HER, RIKA! YOU DREAMED ABOUT HER AND CALLED HER IN YOUR DREAMS! I HATE IT!’’ you screamed.

Jihyun was perplexed, he was sure that he didn’t dream about Rika.

,,Mc, please, don’t destroy them…you will hurt yourself…let us talk…’’ he begged you.

He didn’t knew how to react to you, you never behaved like this.

,,Don’t dare, I WON’T!’’ you screamed.

,,If I become like her, will you love me then?’’ you asked him with a scary voice as you approached him and scratched his arm with a fragment of the broken frame.

Jihyun immediately flinched and went a few steps back, his eyes were filled with surprise, he didn’t knew what to do.

,,Ah….what a pity….your mother died for you, huh? Such a vain…now I get why your father is like that.’’ you snapped at him, hitting his feelings really deep.

You hated yourself for your words as you saw his wet eyes.

When would he finally find happiness?

When would he meet a healthy woman filled with love and happiness? Was this man cursed?

But before you could care more you left the room, trying to get away from him.

To leave him alone with his thoughts about your ugly actions.

You seemed to have done a good job because a few days later everyone from the RFA tried to contact you except for Jihyun.

But unfortunately they were way too late.

You crushed your phone and kissed with red lipstick the letter for Jihyun before you took a few sleeping pills too much.

Your eyes slowly closed as you thought about the man you were leaving.

You wouldn’t allow the illness to destroy you, in his mind you wanted to stay the beautiful girlfriend although you already lost this status for a long time.

,,What?’’ Jihyun sobbed as he heard the news of your death.

,,Yes, I’m sorry.’’ Jumin mumbled and looked at his best friend’s hand who had a big scar left.

He hated you for your act but also was grateful that you left him without any more scars.

Although the tall, black haired man didn’t know that you already left a scar on his friend’s heart.

And so the young man was surprised to see Jihyun dead in the bathtub.

,,Live for me, huh?’’ Jumin mumbled as he read your letter of good bye for Jihyun.

The young man slipped at his glass and gulped the red fluid as he observed the place on his right.

So, the two women he liked the most hurt him once again and even took his best friend from him, huh?

MASTERLIST 1MASTERLIST 2

29.04.’19// 22:37 MEST

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