#i need money for health stuff

[autizta]

Quieting down for a bit as I get emotionally ready to work my ass off

#i need money for health stuff #my wives need surgery #etc #blog

[stuckinapril]

every time i walk into my local library i make sure to look at the receptionists with big wet eyes before heading to my corner to study bc i really want them to hire me as a part-time aide

#not even bc i need the money like it would just be so good for my mental health #extra cash would be nice but i also just like existing there #i don't need another thing on my plate but this feels like anxiety relief more than anything #esp bc w all my pre-med stuff sometimes i feel guilty for reading recreationally. this would force me to be somewhere i love to be #i WANT to be around books for 6 hours at a time. stacking. shelving. cleaning those precious books #i will burst into tears if they don't let me #i literally know the dewey decimal system by heart i'm perfect for this #p

[senselessalchemist]

Bow problems (+ other nonsense)

#saroart #dead cells #the beheaded #the collector #they just wanted a nice bow #the collector can do a lot of stuff but i don't think he's good at bows #i was drawing a lot of antagonistic beheaded/collector content so i wanted to do some more cute junk #okay a lot is an exaggeration. still #need some guys being buds content sometimes #weird monster guys doing domestic shit is my favorite genre #i got a bonus at holiday time and im tempted to buy a tablet i can use portably #esp because holy fuck i don't know how to draw anymore #but also i just spent stupid money on tickets to live podcasts so i probably shouldn't #unrelated im very upset today because fucking UPS didn't ring my goddamn doorbell and so “”missed me“” and couldnt deliver my specialty meds #why must i get my meds through ups #because the us is a hellscape and i am beholden to my health insurance company #ups who has literally never managed to get a package to this apartment #tbh im stressed as fuck about having to go through this every goddamn month

[skunkes]

#i went and got Examined and Cleaned at dentist and of course paid with my own money #which i save for these exact reasons! health stuff #and i feel much better after going... like in general #i needed a cleaning its been a while since my last one #anyway i get home and both my parents are acting like it was all a waste of time and money #which makes sense bc like. this is only my second time ever going to a dentist. ykwim #i never went to doctors growing up because Waste Of Money We Dont Have #so obvs they think that way #but it Affects Me. ykwim. like oh i really am going to have insane obsessive massive self doubt over every decision i make until i die...ok #like maybe i shouldtve gone maybe it wldve gone away by itself i dont knowwwww #joining the war on All The Men In My Family Dying Bc They Dont Seek Medical Care on the side of the Men #talkys

[bitchfitch]

(Portfolio here)

#comms #heyyyyy #i have an unexpected new cat and need to take her to the vet. to get checked for chips and the whole kitten work up #plus an extra litter box and some kitten food so like #If you like my stuff and want a comm you cana be guaranteed the money is going to supporting a kitten being named cardiovascular health #its a good cause

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things #out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever #all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever #or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc. #especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple #and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already #done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and #all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you. #who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3 #my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster #talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo #I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache #or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop #e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all #sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef #t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of #way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I #think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i #gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!' #like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant #mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain #or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right #now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like #most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once #that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY #Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth

[memoriesndew]

my fav youtubers and few others you should know 🎀

vlogs

my precious diary - vlog, lifestyle, self-care and pink

mira diary - vlog, lifestyle, self-care and pink

notes by lina - aesthetic, calming, vlog, lifestyle, and self-care

kenna marie - a lot of lifestyle

kelly stamps - fun, vlog, lifestyle and tips {love her personality}

productivity, study and girl help

fayefilms - productivity, motivation, study tips, self-love and self-help

urmomsushi - productivity, high-school, hauls and lifestyle

phedra dee - productivity, a lot of uni content mainly and lifestyle vlogs

jasmine lee - productivity, motivation, and girl tips

chloe shih - vlog and lifestyle

comedy and feel-good

나징NAJING - calming

beta squad - fun, challenges and

korean comic - comedy skits and voice-overs

deb smikle - comedy and she is delusional half the time but it's fun

alana lintao - funny, a lot of yelling and actually kinda motivating also super hilarious and relatable

ben of the week - very crazy stunts

cinematic

life of riza - cinematic videos, some tutorials and lifestyle vlogs

languages

GESTEofficial - bilingual

_yourgift - also bilingual

fitness

shirlyn kim - pilates and fun workouts

aboutnico - very versatile workout styles and productivity and healthy lifestyle

lenalifts - fitness, tips and productivity

hinafit - kpop workouts alterations and workout routines

#i need money #like right now #girlblog #girlblogger #girlblogging #that girl #it girl #dream girl #becoming that girl #girly stuff #girly blog #girly aesthetic #just girly thoughts #just girly posts #just girly things #girlhood #pink #mood #me #me core #lifestyle #health and lifestyle #healthcare worker #girly things #self care #self love #glow up #wellness girl #green juice girl #pink pilates princess

[sendmyresignation]

one of the things about where are your boys tonight i really appreciated and, to me, seemed like the most significant thrust of the book (but never garnered much attention, imo), was the focus on the business side of things and particularly the way the many bands never saw long term success or stability or the way a lot of very young people were taken advantage of even after making their labels and handlers metric butt-tones of money and this really culminated with the discussion about paramores record deal and the inherently coercive nature of making a 14 year old sign a record deal (not even really mentioning that record deal was 20 fucking years lmao) and yet i still see people argue she was an industry plant or whatever. sorry ig one of my fatal flaws is i give child stars the benefit of the doubt considering the fundamental exploitation necessary for that position to exist or whatever

#sorry was thinking about this bc I saw some truly horrible and dismissive posts on twitter about hayleys contract #but i also think it dovetails into the general malaise that existed in the third wave that a lot of places are quick to dismiss #idk. i keep thinking about how so many ppl were taken advantage of (in the sense of predatory contracts or not getting paid victory style) #and how many are stuck in an endless loop of diminishing returns in order to be career musicians who can actually support themselves #and fundamentally this is the key linchpin in the emo nostalgia- some of the btier andlower bands Need stuff like #emo nites or wwwy to actually make a living (no matter how much you make up front a altrock hit single cannot sustain someone as livelihood) #and since touring is the only reliable way to make money. well why put significant expenses into ur new album #none of your fans care about anyway? its a pre-existing cycle. very thrash metal. but its almost worse #when you factor in shit like the fan perception of the used the canyon.... #idk ive been thinking about it a lot and i dont find nostalgia circuits reprehensible bc of the fundamental indignities #of the recording industry and all its issues #but its hard to see people shit talk the third wave for being full of impressionable kids hoping to survive of their passion #like you do realize they dont sound like assholes in that circumstance for crashing and burning? right? #(esp when you add mental health and addiction into the mix- these bands were full of sick people being denied care bc it would interfere w/ #the 'rawness' or authenticity or whatever the fuck. these bands were having their sadness wrung out of them for money) #anyway i think hayley williams should be allowed to hunt any and all current or former atlantic higherups for sport #my posts

[sanchoyo]

haven’t been on much bc my dog has been sick :( between seizures and an infected tooth we’ve been having a Time trying to get everything fixed (this started around the holidays so our vet has been very booked up…we have been like 3-4 times in the past 4-5 weeks OTL does not help it’s like an hour drive there, so that’s been exhausting) now his new seizure meds are making him sick (was hoping it was like, just an adjustment period thing but he’s been sick for a week and having concerning symptoms…) if I’m not on a ton or slow to replying to messages it’s bc I’m working as much overtime as my job will give me bc Vet Expensive and mentally drained obvi 😞

#it makes me a lil mad his meds were kinda pricy and they literally are making things worse. like sure he isn’t have seizures but he can #barely walk and keeps running into things and keeps having diarrhea so like. 🙃 and the meds are making him sooo hungry and thirsty #I’m seeing the vet AGAIN FRIDAY I know she’s so sick of me but man my little guy. if she can’t figure out a combo that doesn’t have such #bad side effects I’m literally going to scream and cry #he’s the most sensitive boy in the world and my mental health hangs on his and my cats well being. please. 😭 #sanchoyorambles #I’ve also called them like twice to find out if I should stop or what they want me to do and keep getting ‘oh they’ll call u back’ WHEN #GIRL MY PUBBY #if I don’t hear back before his next dose I’m just gonna make an executive decision myself to stop them for now #he’s literally on the smallest possible dose too bc he’s so little. so. they can’t go down in dosage they’ll need to put him on smth else 😑 #which means paying for ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION A WEEK AFTER ALREASY GETTING ONE THAT WAS $30 ON TOP OF HIS STUPID VET BILL #screaming. #and like if I have the money it’s fine. and it’s not like the vet could’ve known he’d have bad side effects #im just frustrated it’s no one’s fault #I could go to a closer vet. the thing is I LIKE the one further away #they have the only groomer I’ve found that can trim him without sedating him! they send me reminders abt his shots! I like the vibes!!! #they seem caring!! but they are always SOOO BUSY it takes forever to make appointments or to hear back from them 😭 #remember how I said one of my goals was to buy a vechicle this year lmao the vet bills are draining any savings I’ve managed to build up 🤧 #my pets are priority 1 tho like even before all the medical stuff /I/ need like lol… that’s my baby #it’s just really bad timing. not that there’s good timing for medical issues but. u know

[ask-mrxmts]

//update

#uhHh sorry for the radio silence ots been a rough year for me #got fired on Feb and have been trying to maintain jobs (amd failing) having to borrow money from friends n family constantly #been trying to keep me and my partner afloat by selling adopts and commissions along w selling some of our own stuff #for grocery/rent/bill money #and last month i was admitted to the hospital due to unusual fatique and thirst and low and behold ive developed diabetes #tho when i went in it was really bad and was close to either a diabetic coma or death (blood sugar was at 350+) #but ive been out for a few weeks now but i really need to get a well paying job so that i can apply for health insurance again ciz insulin #is so expensive.. #//tbd #//thought id update yall #//things have not gotten better but im trying

[straykats]

me worried about exposing my family on here and then realising i literally know none of u guys irl so it doesnt matter ????

#kat talks #kats personal #anyways my cousin - over the last 3 years - has horrowed a GREAT GREAT sum of money from me #and maybe its great to me bc im young and making super bare minimum #but like also. 10k is a lot of money #anyways hes promised multiple times to pay it back and he finally stopped borrowing money last nov #(he promised to pay back and continued to borrow. an endless cycle) #anywahs now hes not even replying to my msgs and its been two months 🙃 #yes its my fault fpr letting him borrow so much #and i shouldnt hsve trusted him that much #but also mans is like. six years older tban me and was an older brother figure #until recent years anyways #so its kinda like 🙃🙃 idk i thought i could trust you 🙃🙃🙃🙃 #needless to say #half the family (cousins) strongly dislikes him for the same reason and then finding out he borrowed that much from me and is ghodting me #ANYWAYS any tips n tricks to grt money back from someone ghostig u would be <3 #+ i thought i could manage and give him time to pay me back but that was this time last year #and o tpld him there might be instances where i need it back ASAP #and he was like yeah he knows and he'll be able to do it #and now bc of whats happening at home and also my own health/medical stuff im like 🫠 horrible time for u to do this to me #also yeah why did i let him borrow that much when i know i wasnt making that much??? #it was a few hundred every few days and weeks with promises of repaying the following week #and i was able to work extra over the holidays but i couldnt the last month #so 🙃 #ARGHHJHZ yes i fucked up but also yes its on him and i know hes being a bad person rn #but also im too scared to further ruin our relationship by speaking up about it/be more aggressive ib my approach to him LOL #literally feel so played rn #like he was very obviously trying to build our relationship and knew exactly how to make me feel closer w him #and i always (and still am ngl) giving him the benefit of the doubt bc yknow. hes family and he wasnt always like this ????

[i-miss-breathing]

Fuck all the “tricking the genie into giving me more wishes” I know what I want

1. Full untraceable access into the top 10% of rich peoples bank accounts

2. A pocket dimension I can spawn anywhere as anything (Mary Poppin’s style purse, little house, mansion, etc.)

3. On-command foolproof Time Manipulation.

Boom done

#would solve all my problems in my personal life #I would then run for president #use my time Manipulation to repeat the election till I win #and then use the time Manipulation to get enough time to come up with good lasting ways to fix all the issues america is causing #and then because I’m the president I’d be rich anyways #so I wouldn’t need the extra money #and I would donate my own money to things like health care and relief aid around the world #I don’t think I have a savior complex I think I’m just pissed #but anyways #and then I would travel but I would still get to keep all my stuff with me through my pocket dimension #because I am attached to my material things #it would also be 1000000000x easier to move #and I could keep a pet in there #like a bird #and I would just open it in a room or something every morning #to take care of said pet #it’s nice to dream

[risingsunresistance]

feels weird to not have much to post, i feel like i basically disappeared off social media compared to how i used to post but. there is simultaneously so much going on (things that are boring/heavy and not fun to post about) and nothing at all going on (i have not been able to play anything very much and havent been watching anything besides random documentaries i stumble across), leading to me having nothing to say lmao

i did finally write down a bunch of hypixel worldbuilding headcanon junk instead of having it only be word-of-mouth between me and ark lol. only 1700 words, i can do better 👍 it was literally only about admin magic, what exactly it means to "hack," what a server is, and limbo kjgfhk. i might make a big post about the limbo section one day :]

#things that arent worth having their own post bc it's boring normal life stuff #I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!!! i've only worked one day but i had a lot of fun #and i like my coworkers. im scared of tomorrow tho bc my manager who has been guiding me around isnt gonna be there #so second day in and im already on my own DFGHKJG it'll be fine......... #also I GOT MY DESK ORDERED LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO. SOON I WILL BE BACK ON THE GRIND I WANNA PLAY SKYBLOCK SO BAD #i've only been able to play on weekends or at ark's ;-; pain and suffering i need somewhere to sit #also fun fact. remember how the house was full of mold. well there was ALSO a gas leak for the past couple weeks #my existence is a miracle #im blaming all past behaviors on this. im normal now dont worry 👍👍👍 #i think i already mentioned this but my snes power cable is missing and i need a new one Pain And Suffering #on the brighter side of my old games. i found by gbc! AND THE BATTERIES STILL WORK SOMEHOW LMAO #i can finally do a miserable gen 2 shiny hunt yippeeeeee #trying to find my gameboy copy of tetris attack but i dont see it anywhere 😔 #uhhhh yeah that's about it i guess. been busy with sorting out work stuff and money problems and Everything Else #currently taking care of health stuff i havent done in years. time for dentist today wahoo #gonna try to get an eye exam soon. it's been like. a decade- #im not sure my vision is still 20/20 im having trouble reading some things digitally #billboards are fine. electronic ones are not those are just smudges #i dont know enough about eyes to know what that could be #chat

[stayteezdreams]

Sorry for still not posting. Things are still a bit complicated and rough in my personal life.

xx

#post #update #sort of #delete later #Im still here #just lurking and relogging mostly #I do want to write but my brain wont really let me #i guess for some context: my dad and mom were sick and in and out hospitals since january this year #my dad ended up on hospice and died two weeks later (on Feb 28th) #my mom came home but her health is not well either #I have been her caretaker for over 5 years #its getting to the point where she might end up on hospice too #she might be in End Stage COPD #she goes through phases of being perfectly fine #to needing to be watched and taken care of 24/7 #so its been rough #dl #personal #I am also dealing with probate and estate stuff with my dads death #we are tight on money and stressed #and there is also a brother who is deciding to make my life hell #so yeah... #things are rough #bare with me #lol #i'll be back eventually I just hope you guys are still here #<3

[elektroyu]

A quick update on medical stuff:

I just came back from the psychiatrist to get my sick leave slip and there was a substitute doctor today because my usual one wasn't there. It was the same one that did the in-your-face medical gaslighting from a while ago. Which she also did today with nearly every sentence she said, but the interesting thing was that she told me that my usual doc, instead of what she a) told me in the beginning (which was ME/CFS) and b) what she writes on the slips (which is social anxiety and neurasthenia), apparently has my issues filed under Conversion disorder with motor symptom or deficit, which is a type of dissociative disorder and I just. 😂 I don't know if I'm supposed to laugh or cry lol. This doesn't make sense at all with my symptoms. But apparently they all think I have issues with accepting my (psychological) illness and all I have to do is get psychotherapy so my issues will disappear. Ohhhh boy.

I'm kinda tempted to ask my usual doc about it. Also the medical gaslighting is working, I do second guess myself regularly about this. Even though it logically doesn't make sense.

(Actually I think this is a communication issue, because I do stress my difficulty walking because it's my biggest issue. But that's not all, and it seems the less prominent things like fatigueability in other muscles, pulse/ circulation issues, concentration/ attention issues, immune & gastrointestinal symptoms etc. conveniently get forgotten in all this. Not to mention PEM/ PENE, which is why I have difficulty walking and which I doubt they even have heard before. Maybe I need to give her another written overview, since I never have my wits about me when I'm there)

Also substitute doc wasn't pleased I'm trying to get a few physical things eliminated as a cause. While my GP was displeased I'm not nearly doing it fast enough. XD Can they just

#health #me/cfs #chronic illness #medical gaslighting #random stuff #I'm tempted to just screw the physical diagnoses altogether tbh #it's so draining #and I'm only doing it because I'd likely need it in case I do have to apply for what I think is disability benefits? in the US #in Germany it's Erwerbsminderungsrente #I still hope I'll be able to make a living with art stuff at some point though #I don't want to be dependent on receiving money from the state :( I want to earn my own money #except if we introduce universal basic income #THAT I'd be happy to receive alongside everyone else #it certainly would help with the pressure a lot

[icewindandboringhorror]

Found a very cool pastel cat sweater at the bins but I have literally nothing that matches it well, so I always struggle to make outfits with it lol

#ootd #pastel #I really really want to SELL CLOTHES I keep talking about selling clothes.. its just such a process..hhhhhhh #Because you have to take pictures. edit the pictures. list them somewhere. write descriptions. choose a price. advertise the fact you listed #it somewhere. Repeat with literally hundreds of items (since I get bulk clothes at the bins and etc.). I have a lot of cool stuff that I thi #nk people into similar styles would want to buy. and I always need money to fund art and healthcare expenses and eventually moving to a diff #erent place someday. replacing broken electronics. etc. etc. So a wise decision is 'well sell a lot of the old clothes you have'. It is so #difficutl with my specific functioning issues though since it's such a long process and also packing things up. taking them to the post offi #ce etc. takes timing since I always have to be driven by roomates and stuff. etc. etc. #I think the way I was considering getting around this was to sell clothing in 'packs' like.. A pack of 5 or 6 matching items the same shade #of pink. or all green items with flowers so it's the same 'nature theme'. Or even selling full outfits or something. so that way I can kind #of bundle items. Instead of the effort of photograohing and listing literally 50 individual items. Turn them into 5 packs of 10. Or 10 packs #of 5. etc. ? But I think I never got too far with that because I was uncertain how that'd actually go over in terms of whether people would #buy groups of items instead of just individual. Especially whole outfits or something like. I think you'd get a wider audience giving people #more individual choice to choose seperate things instead of putting them together and going 'this is just what you get' or etc. #but I could also see it being cool. You already have some guaranteed stuff that matches. They have a theme. Especially if it's something you #like. Love brown themed mori kei items? here's 5 of them already together. etc. etc. etc. #ANYWAY. Came to mind because as much as I love anything with cats on it that's a light color. I also am chronically warm natured due to my #health issues so I overheat immensely if I wear sweaters. even in the winter I don't wear that many layers lol. So a sweater like this is ju #st impratical for me outside of taking one or two outfit photos with it. but I don't think I could ever actually wear it even if I really wa #nt to. But it's nice! and very cool!! so a good candidtate for selling. Give it to someone who would be happier to have it than I would in #the sense that maybe they could actually WEAR it lol. #ANYWAY... rhgh #everything......... difficult.......... whye #Also sweater is too hot for me and doesn't match anything I own even though it's perfect and I love cats..... whye....... cruele world #self