#i really really really think trying to make plans for how to weather the vaccine successfully

[tybysis]

1:52 am

Hey Ty!

Trying to get back into the swing of journaling, but I again feel like I don’t have anything to write. This can’t be true, of course - I do things every day - but there is no really big emotional things that seemed to happen every single day in highschool and before. Being away from my abusers has done wonders. There are many days that I do almost nothing at all, but watch a few episodes of a show with Kitty - we’re watching Sweet Tooth right now, and Bofuri - play a videogame - I downloaded Dave The Diver for self-indulgent purposes - and take out the trash, which is my chore. I tell myself that I am frugal, but really, I am just used to being poor, which I don’t really think is the same thing. 

I’m working on paying off my credit card so that we’ll have a decent safety net when Kitty is here - can you imagine, a $2200 safety net? Jesus christ - and making a list in my head of things that need to be done in entirety before she and the others move up here. 

Mom mentioned that they’re still looking for places as well, but I told her ages ago - almost a whole year now, actually - that I planned to have Kitty living here by this Thanksgiving, or at the latest, this Christmas. That was before Curse imploded that plan. We didn’t learn what he’d done until it was the new year.

I meant to call Uncle David and Mom-mom Peebles this weekend, but didn’t. Time is kind of fucky, and it always has been, but the pandemic made it worse. I feel like it’s still 2021, when it definitely is 2023. I’m almost 30. Jesus christ. 

Speaking of, I don’t read the Bible or do bible study anymore, and I stopped going to church when we moved. CCV was part of my ever-full schedule of things to be doing that weren’t being idle at home, and once we were far from it, I didn’t feel like going through the hassle of trying to find a church. Especially since the vast majority of my religion is bigots and racists, most of which would be in the churches around here. Because we moved deeper into Trump Country. There are people who have Trump 2024 or w/e signs on their lawns. But there are also people who vandalize those signs, so… white on white crime I guess. Working at BJs I met a whole lot of people with just ass opinions about others, and working the phones I’ll get clients that will go into xenophobic or racist tirades. I don’t do anything but weather through it and get disgusted, but at least I know that those people are out there and real. I remember one of my first customers was a person in PA who was talking about how she didn’t trust anyone because of COVID, and how she was taking care of her two adult special needs children and had been on her own for about a decade. All she watched was Fox News and that alt right tv station that John Oliver did a whole thing on. I remember that she said specifically “I don’t see how they could make a chip so small that it could be put in a vaccine, but that’s what they say”, and I was like… you’re so close to getting it. But all I said was “You’re right, that does sound really unlikely.” and the conversation moved on. 

I like my job cause I really do help people every day when I can, and I get to speak to people and for a while, a good two hours, I get to know them a little. A lot of them are nuero-spicy, as the kids say, but I am able to understand them and logic it out of them because I am also that way. It’s easy to relate to people and simply be polite as I try to figure out a best way to help them. I get a lot of compliments about how helpful and efficient and professional I am - but I think being professional is just treating people like people and being polite. That is a cheat code I could have used earlier in life. It is easy to know what to do when you’ve been trained to do it, and then do it well. Selling insurance is easy that way. Once you understand it, you can teach it to others, so that people can understand their own medical decisions and payments and stuff. Medicare and Medicaid and all that stuff can be a bit ass backwards if you get the wrong definitions from the beginning, but once you get it straight, you can. 

My favorite customers are probably the Russians. We have an interpreter line we call and get translators, and then the three of us go through and have a conversation through the translator. Since reading Babel, I think about it a lot, but it really feels good to reach an understanding. I love being able to just explain and explain and check if they have questions, and at the end ask if they’re interested. I’ve always been told I’m a good sales person, but really I just explain things as straight forward as I can, and if it’s a good deal, the person can see for themselves. I haven’t convinced them of anything. I’ve always felt that way, even when selling A.C. Moore gold memberships or BJ’s credit cards. If it is a good fit for you, it is. If it isn’t, it isn’t, and there’s no pressure either way. 

We get a commission of $25 per sale and then get paid around the 3rd check of the following month, but I don’t really think that $25 is worth fucking someone over. Especially since medical insurance can make or break someone’s health and LIFE. There are coworkers who really get it - Ignitist is cool, because their slogan is Do Good, and they mean it - and there are coworkers who are clearly just in it for the money. One of them, a guy named Michael, irks me every time I see him in chat. Once, he made me so angry and upset by disregarding the needs of his client in order to make a sale that I had to go on an hour lunch. Thankfully, Christina, my supervisor, is always super understanding and she definitely talked to him and the post was deleted. 

Speaking of work, one of the things me and Hailey - my therapist - and I managed to do is get an ADA reasonable accomidation for me. The ADA is the Americans with Disabilities Act, and if you are diagnosed with one of the protected disorders or diseases, you can ask for a reasonable accommodation, and your job has to either accommodate you, or offer their own reasonable accommodation. All this to say, I work 32 hours a week - Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. My mental health is much better since doing so. Knowing that I only have to get through two shifts and then I get a break is a godsend. I actually read that a lot of companies in other countries have been trying the four day work week, and they’ve found, just like I have, that the work life balance is much much better. I can breathe. Before, I got a job not just because of the needing money bit, but because I needed to interact with other people or I just wouldn’t. Luckily, I still have a job that lets me do that, but I get to stay home. Thank god. I was having panic attacks from working the desk every single day. 

My job is still draining though. I call outbound, which means it’s a lot of getting hung up on and sometimes people are really rude. But I found that the repetition isn’t so bad if I’m drawing, or coloring, or if I have a headphone in listening to music in one ear while focusing with the other. It just works. I am good at my job, but that’s because when I put my mind to it, I can be good at anything. That’s how it works. 

Speaking of Art, it’s day 24 of Art Fight, which is an online website where people upload their ocs and draw other people’s for points. I’ve made so much art this art fight. My art growth is exponential. Kitty actually uploaded the first art I did of Richard, back in 2020, and then compared it to the first attack I did toward him this year, 2023, and the difference is insane. Like everything else, art is something that you get better at the more you do it. But art, like videogames, is one of those things I cannot monetize. Because it’s hard, sure, but also, because I don’t want to. When I was trying to be a youtuber and a twitch streamer - which we all have tried at least once I think lol - the thought of having to edit all our videos was fucking exhausting. Knowing that recording and playing and being funny wasn’t enough, but that I had to turn around and edit all of that in a funny way? No way, man. Not for me. I barely play videogames now unless I remind myself to do it and put it on my daily to do list. Because really, remembering to do things for myself is hard. 

Back when I was super busy, I only had time to watch things when it was with someone. Mags and I do Wednesday nights, which is just every Wednesday we watch some episodes of something, or a movie, together and just decompress over trast. The dedication to that over these years is the only reason we are still friends. I know that, because relationships are work, friendships are work, and you gotta do it even if it sucks, even if you don’t want to as much the next week, because it is a sign of devotion. Even if I’m not sure how I feel about Mags at the moment, at least I know that if things get rough, a plan works. That’s true with all friendships, and all relationships. If you are determined to make it work, then it could work. If it’s worth it.

But that means that when I am not watching things with someone, even if I have the time, it doesn’t occur to me to watch things on my own. I actually started watching Rise of the TMNT on netflix specifically because of that - because if I am not watching with someone, I do not watch. If I wasn’t playing games with someone, I did not game. And I need to do these little things for myself. That’s why I got my ipad. Because making art is only for me. I mean, during art fight it is also for the people whose characters I draw, and a lot of the time my art is of Kitty’s characters and mine interacting, but it’s self indulgent, it’s mine, and it’s for me. So I do a lot of it. 

I might upload my two different arts of Richard as a comparison, because I do think its a good reminder. I’ll put them under this so that I can have proof: 

[INSERT TWO (well three) RICHARDS HERE:]

Talk about improvement, amirite?

I also need to head to bed now, Ty. But it was nice talking to you again, getting used to hearing my voice again, knowing that my thoughts are important. 

I’ve been listening to Once In A Lifetime by the Talking Heads, which is one of my songs. Like, if I were to fall into the Upside Down, that is what would play to know what was going on. I always loved this song, from the first time I ever heard it. If it, Lake Pontchatrain, or the Nickelback cover of The Devil Went Down To Georgia aren’t my top song of the year, spotify is a fucking liar. Though I guess Betty (Get Money) is probably up there too. Those ones will definitely be in my top five, unless a new earworm comes out before November. It’s possible. NSP’s album with Thunder and Lightning came out in October and that song was in my top 3 despite it only being a month. Lol. Never underestimate the power of a single song on repeat. 

Anyway, sleep is important. Love you, Ty

Kay

#kay post #artistic license

[opposite-idol]

Competition / I'm Busy pt.2 / Phosphoros pt.2

I thrive on your shock when I’m better than you expected Please keep on underestimating me It’s what all the authorities have always suggested Please keep on ignoring all the awards ceremonies I’ve attended Was I hardly there? You didn’t even see me Yes, I’m really that busy Yeah, here’s the follow up to everything Here’s the follow up to everything I’ve told you Sorry, can’t hop the queue I’m waiting in line, just like you

But unlike you, I can’t be bothered I’m never affected Everyone thinks I must be so weathered But I’m full of first world problems Never even been infected Yeah, I’ve had more vaccines than you I’ve got people in my corner, lying too At high risk, but it’s not a competition

I thrive on your annoyance when I keep my opinions to myself And I thrive on your shock when I let them out I never said any of this was anything I cared about Everyone assumes I want the clout But the truth is, I’m on a completely different route Oh no, oh no, I cry, what will I do without I’ll be just fine, I’ve been doing this since I was fourteen That’s 2004 No, I’ve never done a line But that doesn’t mean I don’t want more I will always want more time My plan is to be immortal Don’t care what this business talks about Too many people in the industry getting arrested for being creepy Even more being ignored, but what about me

Yeah, I thrive on shutting down your insistence to talk when I’m quiet But I thrive on your shock when I’m loud Oh, you don’t like it? I’m too obsessed with my own design How do this and this combine How do all the signs align Please let me break my own fucking spine I don’t have the time or energy for you Please just give me a sign Oh, everyone who likes me thinks I’m so divine The truth is I will never know how to shine I only know how to confine myself Redefine myself Just now taking everything off the shelves the ones I built myself When I dug this grave Trying to take everything with me Angels sit with me when I’m awake But demons lay with me when I sleep I’m just trying to exist in this ugly wet dream Don’t need any snakes, or Eve I’m my own evil entity Angels always praise me But demons are the ones who keep me I just want to break free But how do I reclaim myself when demons are the ones who allow me to dream I spread my arms, say “heaven, I’m yours for the taking”

But darkness already veils me partially And once a combination, no more allowance for purity I don’t know why I’m faking I know heaven don’t want me So why even bother trying Oh, yeah, I’ve got people in my corner lying And unlike others, I live for it, consider it my love language But everyone thinks I’m so goddamn languid Because when the authorities finish their frisking they’ll have found nothing Because it’s not a competition

What are you looking at?

I thrive on your anger when I keep my mouth shut And I thrive on your confusion when I talk Just wanna fill everyone with shock But I never said I’d give a fuck Everyone assumes I’m surviving purely on someone else’s luck But the truth is, no matter how much I wanted it no one’s ever given me a leg up And I don’t know what makes anyone think I give a- Oh no, oh no, I fake cry, just so you can hear the sound No matter what you say, think of me, do to me, I’ll always be around Yeah, I’m around the corner I’m not waiting to pounce No, I’m waiting to renounce Because I only care about myself Keep that on the middle shelf So it can be seen more easily by everyone else Then I’ll just walk away Because I don’t care And I really don’t think this world is fair And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt real bad when fighting gets me nowhere What is this world even about I don’t even know what this business is talking about Too many people in this industry getting arrested for being creepy Even more being ignored Cringe as I watch everyone move forward toward their own Burning Sun

But I never wanted to shine So I run in the opposite direction But those thoughts still in my mind I wonder, can I help it or is this just humankind Destined Help, I’m no divine But I want to remain on your mind Wave up, hi to the spotlight I may not want to shine But I want to be shined upon But I’ll keep it to myself every time I- …Umm

It’s never enough, it’s not enough I will always want to be alive Yeah, I’m tough I thrive But I constantly wonder Is that normal? Is it normal to want to be immortal? It’s because I feel like I’m the only one with morals Why are heart and home always full of criminals

But darkness has surrounded me since birth But I still see the sun, still see my worth Always a combination, no time for separation Keep going Even if I have to stretch myself I don’t want to confine myself Want to redefine myself Putting everything on these shelves the ones I built myself When I dug this grave Trying to take everything with me Angels sit with me when I’m awake But demons lay with me when I’m asleep Because I’m just trying to exist in this ugly wet dream Don’t need any snakes, or Eve I’m my own evil entity And I’m my own savior, here to save me

What are you looking at? Don’t you know, it’s not a competition

#aliens

[rxdollarhadamadrina]

The Perfect Guide to Planning your African Traditional Wedding.

There is something historic, grand, and ageless about having a cultural wedding. Not only do you promote your heritage, but it also adds color and memories to your beautiful day, plus your loved ones are around to share your big day. But Hey, there is a lot to it… from the venue to clothing, decoration, food, gift items, and yes not to mention the guests from both sides of the African extended families, their availability, weather forecast, and the very huge one …….The Wedding Budget. It is really overwhelming, right? but we have got you here and so do not fret. Before you initiate any moves, we have put together ideas to guide you to plan an exquisite “I Do” in the African way.

Why do you want a Traditional or Cultural Wedding

Are you unsure of the reasons why you should have a cultural wedding? Yes, wedding planning can be a big deal but here are some of the reasons and advantages of having a traditional wedding.

It promotes cultural heritage and creates family history.

They are timeless.

Venues are usually the home of the bride or the groom and this strikes off the cost of renting a reception hall.

Extended family members can contribute to making the day a success through support and their presence.

How to pick a Location

Your location can determine the aesthetics and has a huge impact on your budget. Most Africans will travel to their family home, but the challenge is when they have friends traveling to attend their weddings. So, think about your friends, will they need a passport or visa, do they need to fly, do they need vaccination, what is the political state of your country, and what accommodation plans?

Find out the Local Laws about Marriage in your Culture.

In most African cultures, the parents of the bride and the groom already know what the cultural requirements are. however, in the absence of parents, it may be necessary to consult with extended families about the requirements of each culture.

Take a trip.

If it permits, take a trip ahead of your big day. Find a venue, and accommodation, plan your rehearsals, try to catch up with your vendors, and have a taste of the food, the cake, and the cocktails. In addition, you can make appointments with the makeover and hairstylist. Otherwise, you may consider a wedding planner.

Locate a Place to Stay for your Visitor.

Although you might not be responsible for their accommodation, your guests will be super comfy if you have a list of hotels close to the venue and within budget, this saves them a lot of inconveniences. Consider a guest accommodation close to the venue, the availability of shuttles and you can negotiate for lower rates if all friends stay in the same hotel.

Fun Activities for your Guest

Have some games, music, a thank-you gift, or a welcome bag for your friends, nothing fancy or big but can also serve the purpose of a wedding souvenir.

Pick your Wedding Attire and have then Delivered Ahead.

Picking style, color, and accessories for the bride and her train, the groom, and the groomsmen can be a herculean task, but it is not something impossible. Pick clothes that represent your taste, culture, and wedding theme. A good designer can help you and ensure you go for fitting sessions. Have all your dresses, florals, beads, and accessories delivered a week ahead. This gives you time to adjust for any unforeseen event and allows couples to rest before the big “I Do”.

[creekfiend]

I feel so bad about not wanting to get vaccines but the last time I got a vaccine it sent my body into such a bad flare up I was hospitalized for a week. Do you have any tips on dealing with guilt or anxiety about either getting vaccines or skipping them? I’m talking to my doctor in a few days but I would love to hear another immune compromised opinion.

A friend of mine who had similar worries was told by her doc that taking antihistamines ahead of time could help, as can drinking a lot of electrolyte water. However @thebibliosphere has very similar concerns and just got her vaccine today. I believe she is resting right now but there is some info on her blog about how she and her doctors handled it and why she made the choice (getting COVID will be worse.)

I am really sorry you are dealing with this; ideally enough people without health issues would be getting vaccinated that you would be at less risk than you are :/ Good luck.

Eta: to clarify I am not saying you Definitely Should get one; I am.not your doctor nor do I know anything about your condition. However I do know a number of other immune compromised people who have made the decision along with their doctors to get the vaccine, and who have taken a number of precautions to do so (having an epipen ready, getting vaccinated at a medical center setting rather than a pharmacy etc) due to how much worse the option of getting COVID would be for them.

So I suppose weighing these risks also depends a lot on how much you would be able to self isolate/how likely exposure would be if you were unable to get the vaccine

There is a lot to consider and I am sorry that you are in the position where you have to :/

#covid19 t #sick #i am Not Doctor #however #i really really really think trying to make plans for how to weather the vaccine successfully #is a good idea if you are at ALL able to #vs getting covid.

[gucciwins]

The First Kiss

Harry and Y/N go on their first date...will they finally become something more?

Word count: 4814

A/N: I know how much you all love breakout room and the follow up it's your birthday. I love writing them and it's been a while but do know they are doing well. this is nothing but sweet fluff. I do mention the vaccine and wearing masks which I hope you all are doing. it's important to stay safe and truly wish nothing but the best for you all. I love you xxx

please reblog and let me know your thoughts

_____

“Are you feeling good? I sent over a goodie basket.”

Harry giggled, loving how concerned you were. “I’m doing good, baby.” He sees you tuck your head into your sweater smiling, when he notices it’s the one he sent you in a goodie basket after you got your second shot of the vaccine.

It’s spring break, and Harry can finally say he is officially vaccinated after letting the mandated two weeks pass. It’s perfect timing, honestly, as he has been itching to finally see you in person again.

Your university let you know that they would begin to have vaccine dates open to students through an email that you quickly forwarded to Harry. You had to register to get a date for your first vaccine, and slots were filling up fast. You shot Harry multiple texts telling him what day you got and time, but you went without an answer for an hour which is weird, seeing as Harry never liked to leave you waiting more than five minutes.

By the time he got back to you, he had to wait two weeks, unlike you, who would be getting in only three days. You asked why he didn’t answer, and he said he was in class. You frowned because even then, he always answered. He then confessed he lost his phone in his apartment and didn’t have time to search for it.

You laughed about it, but he was disappointed because he wanted to see you. To give you a hug. To hold your hand.

After spending his birthday together, you both decided against meeting in person for safety even though you both wanted to, more than anything. You postponed your date to the future. Instead, you completed the group assignment through zoom meetings that led to facetime calls. After submitting the project and learning that you aced the assignment, well, you both caved in.

Harry gushed on how he always got B’s on the professor’s assignments, and to celebrate, he sent you a dozen cupcakes from the bakery that you never stop raving about located only three blocks from where you live. Then proceeded to call him over to celebrate and who was he to say no. Harry was shocked at how rich and full of flavor they were because he wasn’t aware it was vegan. Yet, it tasted better than anything he ever had. Harry realized why it was your favorite, promising to take you there in person to have your pick of favorites and not only red velvet and carrot cake because they were safe choices.

You couldn’t say you’ve been on a proper date with Harry, but you’d like to count all the zoom calls and facetime calls as dates not that you let Harry know it would only inflate his ego. You’d start a call to ask a question on assignments, and it would lead to sharing stories back and forth of what their favorite book was to where they would visit if they could go that very second. You loved how insightful he was, also liked how he used pastel highlighters to mark his annotations. Harry was a fan of how you always had a pencil in your hair or behind your ear. How you always had a snack on hand because you didn’t want to listen to professors without something to eat or you’d lose focus.

You were glad you’d be able to get together safely but also taking all the needed precautions. Safety is hot, as Harry liked to say all the time when you sent him photos of you wearing your masks.

“Yeah, like the basket?”

Harry grins, but it’s not as bright due to the lacking pixels of your laptop. He holds it up, having placed it in his lap. “I did love the bath bombs.”

You smile back at him, “Going to change your life. Self-care is important, bub. Even in the smallest ways as a bath.”

Harry nods, “I know, baby. The reason I remember to take deep breaths each morning, no longer eager to reach for my phone.”

“Proud of you.”

“And I of you, baby.”

Harry shines his dimples at you when you turn your head away at the sweet name he started calling you a few weeks ago. You adored it, honestly, but it always left you feeling flustered.

“H, please.”

“Baby, I like seeing you flustered.”

“You’re a menace.”

He shrugs, still giggling.

“How are Mitch and Sarah?”

“Wonderful, sickly in love as always. Spend their time at Sarah’s like composing together.”

“That’s sweet.” You lean in, smiling at him, “you know we should all hang out together. I get to meet Mitch properly and see Sarah again, and you’ll get to meet Amy.” You grow excited at the thought.

“Not before I get to see you.”

“H, we got to coordinate a day that works for all of us. No need to get jealous.”

“Not jealous.”

“Sure,” you reply sarcastically.

“Got to learn to share me with Amy. I cook her lunch and dinner; otherwise, she’d be nothing but a walking cadaver.”

“I want you to make me lunch and dinner,” he pouts.

“I can now that you’ve vaxxed.”

“That I am, so you are.”

“Yes,” you’re waiting for him to go on.

“Will you go on a date with me? Think we waited long enough, and if my feelings weren’t obvious enough, I like you and really want to take you out.” he rambles on.

You interrupt him knowing fully well he could go on for days, “I’d love to, Harry.”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Yes, Harry.”

“Great. Friday then.”

“I’m free.”

“I know, know your schedule by heart.”

“Creep,” you gasp at the news.

“Shush, like you don’t have my classes added to your planner.” Your turn to pout.

“I like knowing your schedule, and they overlap.”

“I do too. Look forward to your messages every day between classes.”

“So Friday? What are you planning?”

“A picnic.”

You jump up in excitement, causing your laptop to fall back on your bed before you dive to save it. Harry yelling dramatically in the background as if you just dropped him.

“H, be quiet. You’re fine.”

“Dropped me, darling.”

“Dork.”

He mutters something in return, but you can’t hear him.

“So I’ll prepare lunch because you’ve told me once or twice that you’re hopeless in the kitchen.” Harry doesn’t even try to fight you because it’s true. “You’ll take care of drinks and desserts.”

“Seems like you’re planning the date,” he teases.

“I like picnics.”

“Well, I like you, so I’ll let you take over.”

Your smile turns soft, reaching your hand out as if you could reach in and caress him. “I like you, too. I can’t wait to give you a hug.”

“Counting down the hours.”

“Alright, you have class in ten, and you always struggle to log in.”

“Making me hang up. Not fair.” Harry frowns, debating skipping class for you.

“Don’t think about it, Styles.”

“Fine. Take care, baby.”

“Bye, H.”

A date.

You have a date with Harry.

Finally, it happened.

_____

You were nervous.

Why were you nervous? It was just Harry.

Harry, who wanted to date you from your first meeting, who emailed you asking you out, and who has not stopped talking to you since February. Constantly reminding you of his feelings for you. You hope he knew you felt the same, in texts and sending him little gifts even as small as writing him a letter.

You got up early today to prepare lunch. You decided on sandwiches, a non-messy meal, and Harry always said he wanted to try the bakery bread you use and not the basic store-bought. It was a bit pricey but not as much anymore because you had become a regular, meaning the sweet owner began giving you a discount, especially when finding out you're a student. Still, you always remember to leave a good tip. The turkey sandwiches were finished with cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes. Looked so good that Amy had one as you were making them. You made three and packed them up in your glass reusable containers.

Staring at the sandwiches, it felt like too little food when Harry had told you many times how much he enjoys eating, so you cleaned up and got to make a second meal. You decided on vegetable rice paper rolls. A favorite and easy meal to make that you enjoyed eating. It was packed with lettuce, avocado, cabbage, bell peppers, cucumbers, noodles, and fresh herbs. This was a meal your dad made you all the time as a child with the special slightly spicy peanut sauce that you could drizzle on top.

Harry was going to enjoy this, so you hoped. He promised to make strawberry lemonade. Assured you that it would not be store-bought, and you believed him. During one of your late conversations, he shared how his sister would make him some when she returned from uni. Reminds him of home, he would say.

After packing everything away in the fridge to keep it cool it was time to get ready. You stood in front of your closet for a good five minutes before you began to swipe through the hangers. You knew you wanted to wear a dress; it was warm weather and would only get hotter as the day went on.

You searched your entire closet, there were three options once you had decided on, but you called Amy in to make the final decison for you. She decided on the one sitting in the middle of your bed, which was exactly what you were thinking.

The dress was a white button-front high slit that fit you nicely. You hadn't used it in quite some time, seeing as when you left your apartment, it would be in leggings, sweats, and the first sweater you could slip on.

You couldn't stop looking in the mirror, loving how it flowed around you when you twirled. For accessories, you slipped on a gold ring that had a little heart on it and another that was a gift shaped like a small snake as it was going to scale down your finger. A simple heart locket gifted to you by your grandparents hung right above your cleavage. You decided to leave your hair natural, liking how it air-dried after the shower you had that morning.

There was no makeup on your face, just your favorite rosebud salve lip balm that left your lips soft. Amy insisted you put some on, but you stood firm in your decision, knowing you'd be wearing a mask and didn't want anything smudging.

You looked down at the time on your phone and knew it was time to head down, Harry said twelve, and you didn't want to make him come up to your apartment only to walk down the three levels again. You grabbed the picnic basket that was sitting in the back of yours and Amy's shared doorway closet and made sure to place everything neatly, leaving room for Harry's drink and stashing a bunch of napkins in for any accidents. Basket prepared, you slipped your sunglasses in your hair, placing your lavender tote bag with tiny embroidered daisies on your shoulder that contained sunscreen, your wallet, extra face masks, and a book Harry had told he had wanted to read.

Before opening your door, you put on the white mask that you embroidered sunflowers on. It was one of your favorites, and glad it complimented your look well. You walked down the stairs slowly, not wanting to drop the basket.

You walk out the front door and find Harry getting out of the yellow mask on his face. As you get closer, you can see it's the one you made him. It has bees on it, and embroidered on the left side is 'my honey.' Harry had turned quite pink when he opened the gift he got in the mail over facetime with her. You happily screenshot his reaction, happy to have it to look back on.

As soon as you reach him, it's as if all the nerves you had disappeared. Calm washes over you as he comes to stand in front of you. You can't see the smile he has, but the crinkles by his eyes prove he's just as happy to see you.

"Hi, Harry," you say, your eyes taking him all in.

Harry doesn't hide, he's checking you out, and you're thankful for the mask at the moment, able to hide how bashful you're feeling. "Hello, baby. You look gorgeous. I'm a lucky man."

"Yeah," you swayed side to side, "gave me a reason to dress up."

"Always beautiful, but I'm so glad to see more than just your shoulders." He laughs, and you join him.

"Look pretty, H. I had not seen this cardigan." You reach out, running a finger down over the pastel yellow cardigan that looks to be well-loved. He paired it with a plain white shirt that fits him loosely with Gucci denim trousers that he told you he found a few years ago when he was thrift shopping in London with his mother.

"No, brought it out just for you. Wanted it to match my favorite mask." Although he couldn't see it, you hoped your eyes were doing their job expressing your joy. "Let's put this basket in the trunk. Got a blanket and a few pillows as well as the lemonade."

"And the dessert?"

He chuckles, "and the dessert."

You place everything in the trunk, taking a step back for Harry to close it. He walks you over to your door, opening it for you, you offer a soft thank you, but before you get in, you turn to look at him.

"What is it, baby?"

You stare down at your ribbon-tied wedges before looking up into his piercing green eyes. "Can I have a hug? I just--I'm really happy to see you."

Harry falters for a second before answering, "of course, come here." He's quick to bring you in for a hug, and it feels like home. It's comfortable, and you can't believe you haven't hugged him since February, a good two months ago, when it has honestly felt like a lifetime. "I would have earlier, but when you came out, you truly shocked me with how amazing you looked."

You just hug him tighter, enjoying feeling his strong arms around you. He looks at you smiling. "That was nice." You nod because it was, and if he'd let you, you'd stay in his arms all day.

"Well, shall we go?"

"We shall."

And with that, you were off to your first date with Harry, which would hopefully lead to more.

_____

The drive to the park was short; you unloaded everything from the car once you got there. Harry offers to carry the basket, letting you lead to picking the spot. You walked ahead, glad he brought you to a park you recognized; it's one you liked to walk around during finals week when you were drowning in essays and exams. This was a nice break. On the other side of the park is a lake where you can rent pedal boats, but you were sure they hadn't opened up for business just yet, wanting more of the population to be vaccinated.

You led him to a secluded area laughing when he joked if you were leading him to his murder. Once you reached the clearing, one large tree with lots of shade and a few rose bushes surrounded it.

"It's beautiful here." Harry awed in amazement.

"Yeah, I found it my first year when I was trying to destress; I don't think many people know about it because it's not on the maps."

"Lucky us."

Harry grabs one end of the blanket, helping you spread it on the grass. You set your tote bag on one corner as well as setting down the pillows. As you make your way to sit down, Harry gently grabs your elbow, causing you to turn and look at him; he's holding a bouquet of tulips.

You felt your eyes well up with tears, not used to such a kind gesture; it's been a long time since you've been on a date with someone you really care about, "You got me tulips, H."

You reach forward and cradle them in your arms. "Course I did; I think you deserve all the beautiful things life has to offer."

You set the flowers on top of the basket before straightening up and pulling Harry into a hug. Your arms around his neck, his resting tightly around your waist, "including you," you whisper in his ear, causing him to squeeze you a bit tighter. Harry pulls back, leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Let's eat, baby. Know you made something delicious for us to enjoy."

Harry set the food out, and you are sure to hand him the wet wipes to clean your hand before you could begin wanting to be clean and not wanting to venture out to find a restroom. He eyed the sandwiches first, then the veggie rice paper rolls.

"Couldn't decide?"

"Wasn't sure what you'd like. So I gave you two options."

"Too sweet angel." Harry leans in to kiss her cheek.

"Think we ought to take off the mask now." You giggle, sad you didn't get to feel his lips on your cheek.

"Yeah, so comfortable it doesn't really bother me wearing them. I am hungry."

You place your mask in your bag, and Harry puts his mask in his pocket. He opens up both containers and digs into the veggie rolls first. He hums after the first bite, chewing happily. "Delicious," he mutters between chews.

"Can add this peanut sauce to give it more flavor, just a tad bit spicy." He watches you as you pick up and spoon drizzle a bit on top, taking a bite. Harry follows your steps taking another bite, and his eyes go wide at the added flavor.

"Shocked, I've lived all my life without this food."

You laugh, "well, now you don't have to."

He chews happily at your response.

_____

Lunch is filled with little conversation, both praising each other for a well-planned meal. The strawberry lemonade complimenting the food perfectly. He brought a raspberry lemon loaf cake for dessert, and you happily admit you ate two pieces. It tasted so heavily, making Harry promise you to buy more in the future for you. He agreed, stating he'd do anything to make you happy.

"It's nice going out with someone, enjoying the sweet fresh air." Harry comments.

You hum in agreement, "I adore my alone time, but with the right company, it can feel just as perfect."

Harry's cheek turns rosy pink quickly, not at all trying to hide from you. You love that he loves to show how much you affect him.

"It feels normal like we've done this hundred of times already.”

You chuckle, nudging his shoulder. "It's cause we have. Just never called any of them dates."

"So you agree, we've been dating since February," he teases.

"Yeah, I think we can say that."

"When was our first zoom call?"

"Hmm...after class a week after your birthday. Think we worked for an hour and talked about nothing for another."

You look over at Harry loving how the sun reflects off his skin; it makes him look like a gift from the Gods. Harry feels your gaze on him, flashing you a big grin, his dimples on display just for you, because of you.

"We will call February eighth our anniversary," he declares.

You laugh, not a silent one but a full-out belly gripping laugh; you can feel the tears welling up in your eyes. Harry sits there confused, not sure where the joke was.

"You alright, baby?" He asks, just a bit concerned.

"That is what you were thinking so hard about; you couldn't figure out a week from your birthday quickly. Took you a good few minutes." You shake your head, trying to catch your breath, tiny giggles still escaping you.

"Oi, no need to be rude."

"Sorry, honey."

"Never claimed to be smart."

"The pretty ones never are," you tease.

"Alright, that's it. I've had enough."

Before you can stop him, he's on top of you, his fingers tickling you from your sides to your thighs. He knows your body getting all your secret spots that make you squirm away from. You almost succeeded in getting one of his hands over your head, but he surprises you by straddling you. You've stopped laughing, but Harry keeps going.

His curls are falling over his head, his eyes shining bright, a new lightness to them. At that moment, you realize how lucky you are, and before you know it, you reach your free hand up and place it on the back of his neck, bringing him down to your lips catching him by surprise.

Harry stays frozen for a second before sinking into the kiss, responding softly, wanting to explore you as he'd been thinking about this moment for months. You love the feel of his lips against yours; you'd happily give up breathing, never wanting to part. Harry tries to pull away, but you chase his mouth, not ready to stop kissing. He smiles against your lips, humming when he places a hand on your cheek, adding more pressure; you're not sure who lets out a moan letting it out into the universe wishing for more, hoping for forever.

You don't get butterflies or fireworks. Instead, you feel the ease of calmness wash over you like when you arrive home after a long day. That's what kissing Harry is like coming home.

You pull back, laying your head on the pillow Harry was wise to bring; you don't try to contain your smile as Harry stares down at you in a look of awe. You run your thumb over his bottom lip-loving how swollen they look thanks to you. His eyes never leave yours; you gasp as he places a kiss on your thumb before taking it in his mouth, sucking it gently; a moan escapes you, surprised at how hot the teasing is getting you.

"You're filthy, honey."

Harry smirks, "just for you, baby."

"Only our first date, H. We aren't going to move fast."

"A makeout isn't too fast for you," he teases.

"Felt just right." You smile, loving the feeling of his weight on top of you as he has not moved from his position, still straddling you.

"I agree."

"Sorry, I didn't ask if I could kiss you. Consent is sexy."

Harry's smile is soft, his eyes flicker to your lips, then back to your eyes, "You hereby have permission to kiss me whenever you please, my love."

"You know all the right things to say to make me puny for you."

"Good to know. Got to keep a mental list."

"What's on there so far?"

Harry smirks, leaning down his mouth right over your mouth; you remember the taste of lemon you felt when you kissed him, and well, you don't try to stop yourself when you attach your lips against his. There's no sweeter feeling, you've decided.

He pulls back, keeping the kiss short, "Know you can't be close to me without giving me a kiss. Know your heart is racing like it might beat out of your chest, and I know you're dying to ask me to be your boyfriend."

"Guess you are smart," you whisper.

He chuckles, nudging his nose against yours, humming as he places a kiss on the top of your nose.

"You know, I was right."

"Yeah, about what, H?" You reach your hand up to run your hand through his curls, brushing them back, giggling as they fall forward again.

"That your laugh sounds better in person. Know it's cheesy but truly music to my ears."

"You nutter!"

"Oi, picking up my slang, are you?"

"Got to, especially when you called that Evan kid a wanker for dismissing my response." You snicker, remembering the moment a few classes ago when you spoke up to give your opinion only for Evan trying to mansplain how women in politics were growing already especially having a female-run as a candidate a few years back. You would have cussed him out, but Harry did it for you. He packed up all your points with his own references. Safe to say, Evan has not spoken up since then.

"Cause he is one. You're the smartest person in the class, and that tosser should not even be in this class. Clearly, hasn't learned one bit since January."

"Settle down, honey. All in the past." You pat his chest a few times, getting his focus back on you. "Got that book you've wanted to read, want to give it a read now?"

"Course, baby. Happy you had it in your collection." He's gotten back into reading now that he seemed to have more time on his hands, and they had been bouncing recommendations off of each other. You had told him to stay off Book Tok because it was the same ten books being promoted by every page. His sister told him to read The Silent Patient, but he couldn't rationalize spending fifteen dollars, and he couldn't find the free pdf. He asked you and told him Amy bought it for you as a gift for feeding her.

"Let me get it out of my bag; you can lay in my lap easier to listen to."

Harry's eyes go wide; you're going to read him. He did not expect that, but he had to make sure. "Going to read to me, darling?"

"If you don't mind." you tuck your hand into your tote bag again, "brought my kindle in case you didn't want to. Won't be sad if you don't want to."

"No, I want you to. Yeah, more than anything. Got the prettiest voice." Harry pecks your lips, pulling back giddy because that's the first time he's kissed you, and well, he has to do it again. Your lips move in sync, the kisses feeling smoother but just as passionate. You break the kiss, playfully push him away, hands-off, letting you adjust yourself before he sets one of the smaller pillows in your lap and lays his head. Your hand is quick to find a place in his hair, thankful you've mastered the one hand reading and page-flipping due to always having a book in your hand growing up.

_____

After reading for a bit, Harry lifts his head from your lap, taking the time to admire you. You kept reading, letting him take you in from this new angle. You stopped brushing his hair instead, allowing yourself to get immersed in the book once again. You giggled, thinking back at Harry's reaction to the opening line of chapter one.

You had just flipped to a new page, ready to start chapter seven, when you saw how fidgety Harry had gotten. He clearly had something on his mind, so you wanted to give him his space; you had only read five words when he spoke, interrupting you.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Harry blurts, shifting to sit in front of you.

You don't smile, but you know he can see the gleam in your eyes at his words, "Hmmm...will you give me a cute nickname?"

Harry doesn't know what you're doing but goes along with it. "Already do, so yes."

"Will you let me make you more masks?"

"Yes."

"Will you knit me a sweater?"

"I'll knit you hundreds."

You nod, "then yes, I'll be your girlfriend."

"Yeah, you want me to be your boyfriend," Harry teases.

"Dork," you shove his shoulder, causing him to fall back. He gasps in shock.

You laugh, and it's music to his ears; his dramatic response is swallowed as he takes you in. Harry isn't sure where he'd be without you. He takes in the happiness displayed on your face and knows if you could look in a mirror, he'd look just as happy if not more. You are a light in his life.

These last few months have changed everything about him. Harry hadn't really understood what it meant when people said that your partner should also be your best friend. He thought it was cheesy and something to give false hope to others, but with you, he knew it was true.

Starting off as friends built a strong foundation for you both to grow together, and he is forever thankful you took a chance on him.

Harry called it fate, but you well, you think it was all thanks to the zoom gods who set you up in a random break out room not once but twice.

_____

thank you for reading :) I adore you xx

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[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans Are Space Orcs, “A Visiting Delegation.”

Writing on another request I received a few times. I hope you like it.

Government officials filed into the room one after the other speaking quietly. Their voices raised towards the ceiling and echoed off of the walls. Little drops of water glittered in the darkness as the mass of packed bodies caused a heat that disturbed the thin layer of ice which covered most of the room. 

The ice itself lent to excellent acoustics, and the dull roar of voices never seemed to fade as the delegations slowly filed down onto the staggered platform seats.

There was a buzz of nervous energy about the room, emanating from all corners as they sat waiting for the meeting to start. 

Off in the corner a white furred scientist clad in a heavy winter coat sat meekly to the side.

She was very nervous.

It had taken months to convince the Tricarian council that the creature existed, and even with the proof it had provided, things had gone very slowly. Only after the vaccine was synthesised and distributed did they even begin to consider what she said to be true, even then, she knew they didn’t really believe her, and who would. An alien had broken into their polar research fort and handed her a cure for the the plague?

Even saying it to herself seemed crazy.

When she handed over the device to other government scientists, they had managed to make contact with…. someone , but they spoke too well for the leaders to really believe that they were another species. Most just thought it was some sort of elaborate prank or conspiracy.

Either way, today was the day they were going to find out.

Their world was slowly recovering, and now they could turn their attention to other matters.

The first lunar launch would be happening within the week, if all things went according to plan, and if there was something out there… something already capable of space travel, they would like to know about it.

Again she shifted nervously in her seat.

What if this supposed….. GA delegation never showed up.

She, and her colleague were the only ones to have seen the creature in person, and he refused to come forward and speak about it, so that left only her. IF the creature didn’t show up she had no doubt they would have no problem pointing fingers at her and calling her insane.

She glanced towards the window, which looked out over the icy tundra and towards the coast, where large fishing barges were slowly creeping up through the ice, their nets cast into the sea.

No matter how today turned out, it was going to change everything for her.

Either alien would descend from the sky and walk into the council chamber for peace talks, or she would be labelled as a crazy loon committing conspiracy against the government, and her life would be ruined.

She slumped back in her seat, the fur of her chest bunching up under her coat.

She flicked her large ears in annoyance, and wrapped her tail tight around her legs nervously.

Oh please strange alien visitors come and help me.

It was a very strange thing for her to be thinking. The first time she had seen the creatures, she wanted nothing more than for it to go away and back where it had come from, but now, well now she wanted nothing more than to see it again, if not to prove to everyone else that it had been real, but to prove to herself that it had been real.

The noise around her died down, and she looked up to see members of the trichar head council filing in to the other side of the room and taking their seats.

There was some discussion between them for a few moments and then one of them stood and the entire room went silent.

“Brothers and sisters, I welcome you today, today of days, to an unscheduled interanual meeting under…. Very strange circumstances.” He looked around the room, eyes scanning up and down the seats, “For the past few months we have slowly been recovering from the virulent plague that wiped out fifty percent of our population.”

There was a sad murmuring about our room.

“A plague that was well on it’s way to taking ninety percent of us from the face of this planet.”

The mood in the room grew somber.

“Now, I know we have all heard the circumstances around how the cure was discovered…. Or given as the story goes, and I am sure most of you, just like me, are questioning the validity of these statements. Today is the day whether we learn if these are true or not.” He glanced around the room, his tail swishing slowly over the ice, “As of now I am still skeptical that anything of the sort happened.” he glanced over at her and she wilted back in her seat.

“Regardless of what happens today, perhaps we can be assured that we will survive, life will go on and we will rebuild, though we mourn for those we lost.”

There was another soft muttering around the room.

She sensed some anger in the air knowing that the chancellor had failed to mention that the fifty percent of people who had died mostly came from the lower uneducated classes. There were those whisperings in the government, that many didn’t see it as such a great loss. The uneducated masses were gone, leaving behind them only the elite to live upon the face of the earth. They no longer had to think about sustaining such a large and useless population.

Not all of them could be used on the fishing barges, and many of them didn’t have the skill to harvest ice fruit, so what use were they really.

The thought made her sick.

“According to our preliminary discussions with the entity that calls itself the Galactic Assembly, we have agreed to meet today with one of its ambassadors to discuss peace talks and joining the galactic community.”

There was laughter from around the room.

The Chancellor smiled, “I myself am skeptical of course, and the words shock me even as they come out of my mouth. It would be an amazing day if intelligent life existed out in the universe. For it would change our fundamental understanding about how we see ourselves. We would no longer be alone, but If I am being honest with you, I am more inclined to believe that this is some sort of clever and audacious ploy from our enemies trying to take over our power after our sudden weakening due to population loss. If that is the case we must plan accordingly, and since I have seen no aliens up and walk through that door, I am inclined to believe the latter argument.”

There was a chorus of agreement from around the room.

She wilted even further in her seat.

“The agreement was to meet at this time and this place, and our scientists have been monitoring radio activity out of orbit, and we have detected no such alien vessels in or around our orbital ring, and neither have we seen any strange alien ships descending from the sky, no Unidentified flying objects as it were.” He turned his head to look in her direction, and by this time she had sunk so far into the cavern of her coat that only her ears and eyes peered out.

“What have you to say for yourself.”

She took a deep breath and straightened, “Chancelor, I am sorry, but we must give them time. The creature made it very clear to me that it was not meant so readily for cold weather conditions like us. They probably had to make special preparations and lost track of time, I am sure they are going to be here.”

There was a great rumble about the room mostly chuckling from skeptics who thought her to be just another hystric member of the lower class.

She knew what they thought of her.

She had come from the uneducated masses originally and her climb to the top had been arduous.

In many ways she didn’t really consider it to be over.

She stood.

“Please, I implore you, the creatures are five minutes late in arriving and already you doubt the truth of what you saw on that drive. There was information there, images and pictures of all different kinds of lifeforms, and sounds and videos. WHat reason would another government have to fake all of that, especially at a time like this. No one had the resources to be working on such a thing, and when it was given to me much of the world was sure we were going to be dead in the next ten years, it hardly makes any sense.”

As she spoke, voices in the crowd rose and she was drowned out as groups began shouting over each other to be heard.

She curled up tighter inside her jacket, tail wrapping around her legs again in a self soothing gesture as the uproar grew louder and louder. On the ceiling above, decorative ice moldings vibrated and shed water.

This was going to be a disaster.

She melted further into her coat, expecting for them to take her away to a sanatorium at any moment.

And then the door opened.

Clean unfettered light spilled in from the outdoors, and across the ice encrusted floor causing it to glitter like a billion tiny diamonds encased in blue and fractured ice.

The entire room went quiet and then looked up.

Anger was replaced with gasps of shock, as the entire room pushed back in their seats.

She felt a sudden and marvelous wave or relief wash over her as she looked up and saw the strange alien creatures step into the room.

They were tall, almost a foot taller than most in the room, and just how she remembered them, with their long arms, and legs.

When they walked their boots thudded heavily on the ice.

The front rows shied away as the creatures entered in a small group of four.

They were dressed, from head to toe in thick padded gear with artificial fur sticking up around the neck and face.

Their noses and mouths were covered by another layer of covering, leaving only their eyes peering out from the inside of their hoods.

Behind them, the door swung shut.

For the longest moment, there was nothing but silence in the room, until the lead creature slowly reached up and pushed back his hood, causing it to fall over his back. When he did he first revealed the top of his head, covered in a thin and unproductive layer of light yellow fur that seemed to have no other purpose than to rest on its head.

The rest of its face, once it pulled down the front of the mask was clean from hair, and cold air bit at it’s skin as it breath plumed up and around it.

It had no ears of which to speak, unless perhaps, those strange folded…. Things on the side of its head were ears.

As she remembered, the creature itself had a very flat face and a large jewel-like emerald eye. Based on the others standing behind it, it should have had two eyes but one of them was covered.

It turned its head to look around the room, before falling on her with a depression of recognition.”

It showed its teeth at her, teeth surprisingly similar to their own. Sharp teeth for tearing at the front and flat teeth for grinding at the back.

“I am glad to see you well.” it said, and its voice echoed across the room for all to hear and understand,

There was a murmuring of surprise. Underneath the strange voice, she could hear the even stranger grunting and hissing of it’s natural language.

It walked forward with its companions in tow, “Forgive our tardiness, but we had to prepare ourselves for your child weather.”

The room remained silent.

The creature looked around at them and tapped its foot on the ground, “Ok then, introductions are in order. I am Admiral Adam Allen Vir of the Galactic Assembly and United Nations Space Corps, leader of the Galactic  armada, ambassador of the Galactic assembly and explorational representative. A few months ago I was sent by my benefactors to provide a cure to your people and sew the seeds of invitation to the galactic community.” He looked around at them, “Our other delegates apologies for not being able to visit with you today, but your planet is very very cold, and we are the only species that may survive with any sort of….. Regularity on the face of your planet.”

Even as she watched, the skin on the side of the creature’s ears were beginning to turn red, and then purple.

Finally after many long minutes the chancellor stood, staring and wide eyed.

“So it is true.”

“Yes.”

“How can we be sure this is not some elaborate hoax.”

The creature stepped forward over the ice,which popped slightly under his weight. He walked closer to the chancellor who cowered back in his chair.

He paused just before the desk and pulled off the coverings on his hands, and then unzipped the front of the jacket, allowing it to fall open.

WHen he pulled it off, the skin of his arms and hands were bare, leaving only another thin covering over his chest.

He held out a hand.

“Feel for yourself, and tell me if any of your enemies could prejudice a facsimile of life that is so convincing.”

Not sure what to do, the chancellor reached out a hand and gingerly touched the creature drawing back in surprise and some measure of disgust. When he came back again, he took the hand in both of his and turned it over, palpating the structure of the bones and flesh underneath, examining a fine layer of useless hair on the back of the hand and arm.

“I…. see your point.”

The chancellor gave the creature his hand back looking on nervously as the creature began to spasm and vibrate. He pulled back, but the creature shook its head, “Forgive me chancellor, it is very cold here.”

He reached out and pulled his jacket back on, followed by the gloves and pulling his hood up around his ears.

It stopped its strange vibrations a moment later.

“As it is, the GA has invited you to join in peace talks with them. They are eager to trade resources and knowledge for precious combinations of minerals found in your ice. They would provide the means of space travel, or assistance in building your own, and offer protection from unknown factors in the rest of the galaxy. We simply desire to be allies in a far reaching cooperative conglomerate.”

The Trichar eyed him, “And why would your people be so interested, there is nothing that we can offer you that surely you could find somewhere else.”

“We are not so arrogant as to think we have a monopoly on knowledge and experience. For example your ability to live in such cold climates intrigues us. This entire room is made of ice and steel, hardly worth keeping out the cold. Even I cannot remain here for too long. I believe there is much we can learn from each other.”

The Chancellor sat unblinkingly staring at the alien.

“There are many opportunities that we can provide you. There are icy worlds ripe for the picking that much of the GA hasn’t bothered to touch considering their harsh conditions. There is plenty of room for industry and the transfer of knowledge. We would do nothing but benefit from you joining with us. If you so choose we would be willing to take one or a small group of your number to meet with the entire assembly on the capital, though there is no pressure to do so. We also have broadcasting and camera equipment which would suffice for you to meet them over long distances. There are many ends and possibilities, but…. Out of my own experience, I believe you would do well to take this offer.”

There was silence around the room.

She could hardly blame them. A strange alien benefactor seeking peace with them and offering opportunities and a great wealth of knowledge was certainly too good to be true. Also, the creatures were kinda…. Strange looking. In the full light of day and with the sun streaming in through the windows, she would have sworn that she could see little circulatory structures peeking as blue veins from it’s skin.

Almost as if it was partially translucent.

She shivered, it really creeped her out that she could see its interior structures from the outside.

No wonder it wasn’t meant to survive on such an icy planet as their own. Granted it had looked a lot stranger and more intimidating in the dark, but there was something about seeing the whole thing in it’s true form in daylight that still threw her off.

Looking around at the rest of the room she saw a mixed bag of emotions.

Awe.

Disgust.

nervousness .

Excitement.

The alien tilted it’s head casing its wide eyes about the room. She turned her head away, feeling that if she looked for too long, she might fall into that depthless green pool. That was the strange thing about it, though it had a body and physical presence like the rest of them, it seemed so….. Strange and….. Other, as if it was only showing them a part of itself.

That was silly of course.

She was just being paranoid.

And focusing on that paranoia because another part of her was very excited.

She wanted to see what this creature was talking about.

She wanted to experience it.

She wanted to go with them.                        

[memzhay]

Sweater Weather

They were sitting on the couch in their office examining Link’s laptop. In front of them was a Visio flowchart of shots they would need for an upcoming episode. They had decided to bring back “The Backup Plan” and do a series of field trip episodes. It would still be a few months until any of it got shot, but it was a good time to start planning. They decided that once quarantine was officially over and enough of the crew was fully vaccinated, they should travel a bit and give the show a chance to breathe the open air again. They were currently trying to decide how many days they would need at an elephant sanctuary in Tennessee to get all the shots they wanted.

“These three right here would all be very contingent on lighting. Sun will be going down around 6:00 pm, so we will want to start filming this series of shots no later than 4,” Link said. He turned to Rhett to see if he agreed, but found him staring intently at his sleeve. “Do you think there’s time for all three? Rhett? Hey, is everything alright? I feel like you haven’t heard a word I’ve said.”

Rhett snapped out of his daze and lifted his eyes to Link’s. “Woah. Sorry. Got lost there for a minute. I think we could definitely do two sets of shots between 4 and 6, but I just don’t know about three. Did we decide we need a full costume change for the one in the middle, or just hats?”

“I think full costume would be better, but if time is that tight, hats would be fine,” Link said. He found Rhett was once again looking a bit far away. “Hey! Level with me now. What is going on in your brain?”

“New sweater?” asked Rhett.

“Yeah,” Link said with a grin. This wasn’t the direction he thought things would go, but alright. “Lilly got it for me. She has one that is the same brand and I liked it so much, she got me one. You like it?”

It was a dark blue cardigan, that Link was wearing over an ordinary white t-shirt, but dark blue didn’t cover it. The color of the sky at twilight, with little touches of silver that you don’t notice right away, Rhett thought. He had been staring at it and trying to figure out what the material was. It wasn’t velvet or velour, but it seemed to have a sheen to it. He couldn’t figure it out, and was fairly mesmerized by it.

“It looks so soft!” Rhett said dreamily. He held his hand up and gestured to Link’s sleeve. “May I?”

“Sure, if it helps us get some work done,” Link said in an amused tone. Rhett placed his hand on Link’s shoulder and gave it a pet. Ooo! It was soft. So soft! Like the sort of soft where it feels like it might fall apart if you aren’t careful. Link continued his thought from earlier. “Now, I think we call these shots say A, B, and C. If we really want to be done in one day, and there is only time for two of these, we have to decide which ones are most important.”

Rhett was paying more attention to the laptop now, so maybe the enchantment the sweater had briefly cast on him was broken. He continued to run his hand back and forth from Link’s shoulder to his bicep. Back and forth. Palm of the hand. Back of the hand. Back and forth. “Well, we know A is a must, so the choice, if we want to make a choice, is obviously between B and C, and MY GOD IT’S SO FRICKIN SOFT!!”

“I know, right?!” Link replied. He knew Rhett was a big texture guy, and he liked it when he got excited about things like this. All childlike and full of wonder.

“Is the inside this soft too?” Rhett asked with a face full of hope. “Softer,” Link replied simply. Rhett’s eyes went a little wide at that. “You want to try it on?” Link offered. “It’s a little big on me. It might fit you. The sleeves would probably be too short.”

“No, no,” Rhett replied. “That’s ok. I wouldn’t want to stretch it out or anything. It looks so delicate. But can I touch the inside?”

“Of course you can,” Link said affably. He undid the 3 large white buttons and opened it up. Rhett touched the lining and gasped a little.

“It’s fluffy!” Rhett exclaimed in surprise. “It doesn’t look fluffy, but it feels fluffy. How can that be?!?”

“Science,” Link countered. “Now do you want to be alone with my sweater, or do you want to help me calculate how much time it would take to move camera 2 from east facing to north facing?”

Rhett had not stopped touching the inside of the sweater. “I know this will sound a little weird,”

“So, now it’s weird?” Link said with a laugh.

“Yeah. A little weird, but can I rub my face on it?”

Link chuckled. “Oh, I don’t see why not.”

Rhett pulled his legs up on the couch and burrowed his face in the sweater, giggling with delight. “It’s like cotton candy and velvet and marshmallow fluff all had a baby that for some reason isn’t sticky! And it smells fantastic! Is that you, or does this sweater also have magical pheromone powers or something? Vanilla bean??”

“I ran out of my body wash and had to use Christy’s,” Link confessed.

“It smells like…Home!” Rhett was a goner now. Laying on his back with his head in Link’s lap. The sweater draped over his face rubbing his hands on the outside. He took a deep breath and settled a bit. “Now that I’m over the shock of how soft it is, I think it’s helping me think rather than hurting me. I feel like I know exactly what to do about those shots. I feel like we do need 2 full days to shoot, because A, B, and C are all important, and you should get a full costume change if you want a full costume change, and because Elephants!!”

“Well, ok then. I agree!” said Link, relieved. “That wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

“I feel like I can see the whole Universe right now,” Rhett said like a man in a trance. “Put your hand in the pocket and rub your face with it. It will change your life!”

When Stevie came in a few minutes later to tell them they were ready to discuss the shot schedule, she found them with Rhett still laying in Link’s lap, his face covered by the sweater humming happily to himself as Link meditatively stroked his cheek with a pocketed hand. If she was surprised, she gave no indication. “New sweater?” she asked.

“Lilly gave it to me. Its really soft,” Link explained.

“It’s so soft, Stevie!!” Rhett said from Link’s lap.

“Would five minutes be alright for meeting up with the camera crew?” Stevie asked.

Link thought a moment. “Better make it ten,” he suggested. “We can see the Universe right now.”

“Got it,” Stevie replied. As she went out the door, she could hear Link crooning “It’s Sweater Weather” in his best John Mayer.

#rhink #rhink fanfiction #rhink fic #platonic-ish #so soft #the most snuggly sweater ever devised by mankind

[dangerously-human]

I am determined to make the spring so much better than the winter has been. Isolation should start to lift a little as case counts fall and the weather gets warmer, so I'll have more opportunities to see people - plus I'm fully vaccinated now and tomorrow marks two weeks, so my immunity should be fully kicked in. Not that that helps with making plans with friends so much, but it does make a difference, and will make more of a difference as more doses are distributed. On that note, I'm volunteering at a vaccination clinic through work for a couple upcoming weekends, which I'm really excited about! I also start this week mentoring a middle schooler, with a colleague in nursing (who I probably would never have met otherwise), via a community organization that partners with the hospital, so that's super cool too. I'm doing my best to keep up with virtual interactions for now and plan outdoor things once it gets warmer out. I've been trying to work up to asking one of my friends to bring his dog to a hangout sometime for years, and finally got to it today; I think that's maybe a perk of having to get creative with how we see people now, that we're coming up with fun things we probably wouldn't have done otherwise. And I'm back at church now and working in children's ministry again (YAY), and hoping to get back to Bible study soon too. Really, really working on taking active steps to change my situation to something I like better, while still being realistic, you know?

#personal #research rambling

[eleanorbloom]

When You’re Ready Ch. 08

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 4.5k

Warning: Angst, cursing.

Summary: Bryce has decided to let go Eleanor because she’s in love with Ethan Ramsey. But a turn in her relationship with the attending might change Bryce’s plans.

A/N: To the people who still is reading this story, thank you! Things are going to get juicy from now on, so I hope you are all prepared! (And I hope things in the book get really juicy too. I’m still recovering from last week’s chapter omg. My heart will never be the same after what Ethan told to MC :( (And I don’t even want to think about Bryce. My babyyyyyyyyyyyyy is so precious!)

Well, well, well. Hope you enjoy today’s chapter!

Taglist @utterlyinevitable  @shanzay44 @choicesficwriterscreations @laiba-the-person @starrystarrytrouble @lahellacute @lucy-268 @aylamreads @binny1985 @romewritingshop

Let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist!

________

Chapter 8: Me cuesta tanto olvidarte.

Y aunque fui yo quien decidió que ya no más (And even though it was me who decided we were through)

Y no me canse de jurarte que no habrá segunda parte (And I didn't tire of swearing to you that there wouldn't be a second chance)

Me cuesta tanto olvidarte (It's so hard for me to forget you)

 As much as he tried to avoid that moment, there he was, both feet on the grounds of Boston Logan International Airport.  After two months in the Amazon, he was back at the place he wanted so much to escape, only to return with empty hands, with his personal mission failed.  

His heart was feeling like there were never eight weeks since he left Boston, and was aching as much as the night they said goodbye. He had left for nothing. He wanted a reset, but he wasn't sure if that's what he got there.

Even if he tried every day to get her off his head, the most nonsensical things would remind him of her. 

The sparkling eyes of the children seemed attached to the memories of her giving him the shiniest smiles he had ever seen.

The carefree nature of a young woman would remind him of her youthful spirit, a trait he had grown to appreciate since the moment he knew her, but that he had failed to preserve in the last months, due to his erratic attitude towards her.

And if there was nothing that reminded him of her during the day, there would always be a sparkle at the end of the day, just about to sleep, that would explode in his mind like a firework. Whether it be the feeling of her hands touching his face, his hair, his bare chest; or the feeling of her soft lips giving him life after a searing kiss.

Whether it be her amber eyes illuminating the darkness of his mind and waking him up to a trance of vivid memories and feelings of happiness and joy. Vivid memories of something that were long gone and that couldn’t be back; or her laugh invading his ears and making him jolt as if it was the painful hallucination of a schizophrenic mind, and swear she was just laughing by her side when the truth was they were thousands of miles away.

Some nights he would toss and turn in bed, wondering what would she be doing; if he had broken her more than he was aware; if what he had done was right; if all this was really about her or about his fears and the ablaze belief that he would never be worthy of her because he could never give her everything she deserved. Wondering if all this was always about the fact that since he was a child, he never felt worthy of love.

He honestly couldn’t know.

He didn’t know how to face a truth that had been carrying his whole adult life, and he wasn’t sure it was now the time to explore those feelings. It didn’t make sense now. 

Some other nights he would lay remembering her, but the tiredness would be like morphine to his mind, sending him to sleep just as his head would touch the pillow. The memories of her wouldn’t haunt him like a ghost all night, the guilt wouldn’t eat him alive, there would only be a full night’s sleep, with physical recovery but with the same burden on his mind.

After three weeks, however, he had convinced himself that he had done the right thing. That she would eventually move on, that she would let him in the past and all this bad road would be over soon. But the hollowness somewhere inside him reminded him every time, that it wasn’t what he wanted, that he didn’t want it that way.

There was another way, but he was a coward.

Deep inside, he was hoping that the distance between them wouldn't make an effect like he intended to. He wanted it to fail. That her love was stronger than that. That that strongness was the proof he needed to push himself towards her, to fight for her, to hold her and never let her go again.

But then he would remember that all that he had been doing the last months, was for her, and only to protect her. That this self-sabotage would only damage her career. He couldn’t let that happen.

*

Ethan was having dinner at the ranch in the company of the owner, a Colombian elder woman who had spent her entire life receiving tourists that came to the rainforest from all places, and that had taught her the basics in various languages to communicate with them, English above all.

She had observed him for weeks. He noticed he was taciturn, thoughtful, that would never involve in small talk, so she had decided to respect his privacy and his love for silent meals. But he looked too troubled that night to ignore it.

“Are you in love, doctor?”—The woman asked, interrupting the dissection of his own thoughts.

“I beg your pardon?”—He replied, a bit startled for the intromission.

“I have lived long enough to know, by the look in your eyes, that you are in love. And that you would do anything to deny it, but it’s a stupid try, mi niño.”

He remained silent.

“I know you the yankees only care about work and money. You as a doctor are more human than others because you are here,”—She splayed her arms in the air, trying to sum up in a single gesture the greatness of the Amazon— “but for the same reason, you deprive yourself of the more important things in life as family and love.”

“Saving lives is the more important thing to me.”

“I know that. You have no family, no partner because your job goes first. But you are in love and I bet you are keeping the person you love away from you. Maybe that’s the reason why you are here, in the first place.”

“I didn’t know people in the Amazon were diviners.”

“We are not, but I have lived enough to see too many people coming here to forget, and that had failed.”

Ethan stared at her, thoughtful, not even sure if he would address her accusations.

“So, I am right?”

There was no point in denying. He would be gone in three weeks and then he wouldn’t see her again. He wasn’t risking anything.

“Yes, you are.”—He finally admitted.

“And Medicine has not taught you anything, doctor?”

“What do you mean?”

“You see life and death every day. You know the value of life and how easy it goes. Being a doctor is a tough job, but as someone who knows about the meaning of life and death more than any other person, you don’t seem to put into practice everything you have learned: To live and love ”

“It’s not that simple”

“It is simple. You have no idea how simple it is. I only hope you don’t learn it the hard way, when you lose your chance. I have seen it so many times, you wouldn’t believe me.”

The friendly silence joined the tabled again, leaving Ethan more pensive than before.

Maybe the elder woman was right, but Ethan was never a man of sentimentalism, of searching the meaning in things. He only wanted to seek the truth in life, how things were based only on facts. And the truth in this situation was that he had to stay away from Eleanor to protect her reputation and her career. There was no point in trying to find an alternative answer to that. The truth about them was absolute.

Still, he couldn’t stop thinking of her words.

*

Ethan force himself to come back to reality as entered in the baggage reclaim area of the airport. Once it was all collected, he took a cab to his apartment. 

Once he was there, he took a shower, unpacked his luggage, and drop off his clothes from the trip at the laundry service on his way to the hospital.

 The sun was already set when he met Naveen at his office.

“Ethan, my boy, I’m so happy you’re back safe”—He greeted giving him a hug that Ethan replied coyly.

“Good to see you, Naveen. How have you been?”

“Incredibly well, the weather has been so nice. And my position as Chief gives me more time to enjoy the sun, so I’m incredibly well with the amount of vitamin D I have absorbed these past weeks.”

“I can see it. You’re more joyful than usual.”

“Not just because of the sun, but because you’re back. I sincerely missed you, my friend”

Ethan nodded in a way that Naveen interpreted as he felt the same.

“How was Manaus, well, and the rainforest in general?”

Ethan updated him about his trip, describing the streets and highlights of the city in detail, and after that, he followed up with his labor with the WHO, and how things were when he left.

The origin of the epidemic had been found in a river that rises in Colombia and flows to the Amazon River, in the middle of Brazil. The Amazon River was the biggest in South America and its size was the reason it had caused nothing less than an outbreak just in a few weeks.

Just before Ethan left, the development of a vaccine had started, as a variant from the Malaria’s; therefore, in the next three months it was expected to be tested and by the end of the year, it was expected to be produced. He wasn’t sure if the WHO would call him for another Mission, but Naveen would be fully aware of that in case they would.

*

The hospital was quiet when both mentor and protégé left the office. They parted ways in the parking lot. Naveen, to go to his car, and Ethan, to walk down the street towards Donahue’s to say hi to Reggie.

He needed a drink to feel he was really back in Boston. At Edenbrook. But deep down, he wanted to go there because he hoped she would be at the bar. There was no way she wouldn’t be with her friends celebrating their last day as interns and welcoming the first day as second-year residents.

His pace was slower than usual for multiple reasons. First, because he wanted to enjoy the warm night Boston was welcoming him with; second, because he wasn’t going there to kill the tension of a day’s work, just to enjoy the night. And third, because some part of him was afraid of what he would find there. If she was there. If his face would betray him even if he had mastered the stoicism long before he met her.

“Don’t teaser her, Jackie! I still have nightmares about that Ethics Hearing!”—He heard just when he was about to turn to the entry. “If Eleanor had left Edenbrook, I don’t know what we’d done.”

He had no doubt that that sweet and soft voice belonged to Sienna Trihn.

“Stolen her spot in the diagnostics team?”

And that snarky retort was from Jackie Varma.

“Oh. My God”—The tiny resident said once her eyes caught him at the entry.—“He looks so different.”

She didn’t even lower her voice as she acknowledged him. And he didn’t care. As soon as he realized where Sienna and her friends were, his eyes couldn’t help but search for her eyes.

“What are you talkin-“—Eleanor turned and her mumbling stopped right away as their eyes met. Her confused amber eyes went stunned in an instant.

“Rookie”—Was all he could say to not let his feelings betray him. The sole sight of her was painful enough to try something else.

“It's good to have you back, Dr. Ramsey”—She murmured, her voice distant. Like she wasn’t even conscious of her words, like she wasn’t saying them, and an automat had taken hostage of her body.

Even though she knew he would be back tomorrow, it was clear she didn’t expect to see him tonight.

“Yeah… Good to be back”—He tried to remain serene, but for a second his eyes faltered on her with a torn expression.

He hesitated for a moment before keep walking towards the main bar.

 ***

She felt like someone was turning the volume up in her head. The chatting of her friends, the clinking glasses, the laugh of people, the cars passing by, the music on the jukebox inside. All was too fucking loud on her head. 

The bubble that had alienated her from the outside had popped just the moment she met eyes with Ethan. Every sound was irritating to her. Every laugh, every word, every passing car.  Her heart beating fast, her agitated breath. All the noises were multiplying.

Still, she didn’t even know how she found the strength to reply to him. It didn’t sound like her at all. It was like she was observing herself outside his body,  the obvious first-hand and only witness of her own autoscopy.

“Relax”—Bryce said in a jokingly tone when Ethan was out of sight—Ramsey might not be my type, but damn, I felt things too.”

All her friends burst out in laughs, trying to alleviate the tension.

“No one can deny that the man's his appeal, and with that makeover, oof. Total heartbreaker”—Conceded Jackie.

But she was barely conscious of what their friends were saying. Just as he entered the bar, she felt disoriented. Lost. The volume in her head started to turn down, silencing her from the noises around her. Like the earth had stopped rotating and she was caught in the middle of her own thoughts.

She didn’t expect that. She had come to terms with the fact that she would see him tomorrow, at Edenbrook, but she absolutely wasn’t prepared to see him tonight. At the bar. She should have known.

Then, she heard her name somewhere. Somewhere very, very far. And after that, a warm caress in her back shook her out of her stupor.

“Elle, are you okay?”

She looked up. All her friends were trying to catch her attention, and Sienna was staring at her with her brows furrowed in concern.

“Ellie…”

“Yeah, sorry, guys, I think the beer went to my head.”

Eleanor felt a warm caress against her back again.

“Babe, are you okay? D’you need a moment?”—He whispered, leaning carefully towards her.

“No, no, I’ll be fine.”

Bryce didn’t look so convinced.

She looked at him in the eyes, knowing that it would ease her mind. She smiled. It had worked. But she knew she couldn’t spend her life being wrapped to Bryce to feel calm, that she couldn’t run to his arms every time she felt something for Ethan. She had to face the pain, the fear, she needed to confront him to really be over Ethan. She had to do it alone with all the pain it was involved in.

“I’m okay, really”—She reassured, his lips quirking a bit to resemble a smile.

He nodded.

She wanted to be okay, because the last thing she had on her mind, was to make a scene, just as the last time she saw Ethan. No, she had to grow up. The days where she would drown in sadness and ‘what ifs’ were over. She had to handle the situation like the adult she was.

But it wasn’t that easy. Even though she rejoined the conversation with her friends, after an hour she really felt the need to have a moment.

“Sienna, care to join me?”

“Of course, Ellie”—She replied getting up from the bench.

The walked carelessly towards the bar, Eleanor trying to ignore completely the presence of Ethan sitting on his usual spot.

“Are you okay?”—She asked once she closed the door behind her.

“I… I’ve been better.”—She confessed, leaning against the wall.—It’s just… I wasn’t expecting to see him today, tonight, here. I made my mind I would see him tomorrow. But well, that’s how things went.”

“It was so shocking, for all of us. Mostly because of that makeover. I swear I thought I was confusing him with another person”

“Like a extremely hot twin brother of him?”

“Kinda, yeah”

They both laughed.

“That’s torture. How can he appear here like that and expect me to stay away?”

“Eleanor…”

“Sienna, I’m teasing”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“But I am. And I can’t even think about doing something with Bryce here.”

Eleanor shook her head.

“Ah, poor Bryce. He’s all in the comforting mood but I know it hurts him.”

“Maybe, but he’s actually worried about you.”

“Why he has to be so selfless? I don’t deserve it.”—She protested —He has been an angel with me this whole time. And this stupid asshole appears, and I fell to the ground like a whiny stupid.”

“Ellie, he knows what he’s dealing with. And I know he’ll be wise enough to leave when his time is over. I just hope that doesn’t happen, and that he gets his happy ending with you.”

“You don’t think I want the same? I want it. But it doesn’t matter what I want when the person I’m in love with it’s not him.”

There was silence. Sienna looked at Eleanor. She was pissed off, but not defeated like before. That was progress.

“Okay. Let’s focus.—Sienna exclaimed with renewed energy, trying to comfort her friend—"The things are this way: You’re still not over Ethan, but if you want to, you will. And you’ll do it by stop having hopes. You’ll focus on the good. On Bryce. On the beautiful moments you two have had. And as long as Ethan doesn’t say ‘Eleanor, I love you, let’s be together’, your situation with him is the same as it was when he left. It’s done. Terminated. Over. Okay?”

“Okay, yes. Yes. Crystal clear.”

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise”—She replied as her pinky locked Sienna’s.

A few moments later they returned to the table. Jackie had brought a new round of beers. Eleanor took her seat next to Bryce, and without a moment’s hesitation, she brought her lips to his cheek and kissed him softly.

He stared at her a bit confused. That day, at the beach, they agreed to be more discreet with their relationship now that Ramsey was back. Somehow, she wouldn’t feel comfortable that he could know about them when nothing was settled, and she didn’t want to provoke a response in him by jealousy or make him doubt her feelings for him. That way, they would return to their habitual friendly interaction in public spaces, but their relationship remained the same. Therefore, that show of affection in public was against their agreement.

“What was that for?”

“You just deserve a kiss for being so cute with me.”

He smiled.

“In that case, I deserve more than a kiss on my cheek, don’t you think?”

She shook her head and brushed her lips into his.

“Better?”

“Much better”

They continued their chatting through the night until Reggie announced he was about to close. Eleanor and her friends collected their used jars and went to the bar to give them to Reggie. Ethan was still by the bar and apparently, he had no intention to leave soon.

“What? Last call doesn't apply to you?”—She asked, her words coming out of her mouth incautiously. Like nothing had happened. Like the two months they didn’t see each other never existed.

“Reggie and I go way back. We have an arrangement.”

“An arrangement?”—She snorted— “Is that what you call friendship?”

“I don’t have friends, but I wouldn’t mind you joining me if you were so inclined.”

“Say it. You want me to join you?”—She defied.

He stared at her seriously for a few seconds.

“I do.”

Eleanor turned to her friends

“I’ll stay for a while to check in about tomorrow with Dr. Ramsey.”

“Okay”—Sienna replied—"Just don’t stay out too late... Aurora's dropping off the rest of her stuff before work tomorrow.”

Eleanor nodded and her eyes directed to Bryce. He winked at her before turning to the door, but she could have sworn his smile fainted the very moment he turned.

“Well, we've got ourselves a brand new Ethan Ramsey.”—She stated, approaching him at the bar.—"You took the reset thing seriously.”

He gave him a painful look and scratched the back of his neck.

“Why don’t we move outside?”—He suggested, trying to diffuse his tension—"It'll be winter before we know it. Might as well enjoy the weather while we can.”

Ethan took a half-drunk bottle of nice scotch and head out to the empty beer garden, taking a seat beside a small fire pit.

“So… how have you been?”

“As good as it can be, given the circumstances there.”

“Yeah, I figure. I’m sure you went through a lot there.”

Ethan nodded.  Thinking that he indeed went through a lot there, but maybe not the kind she had in mind.

“What about you?”—He inquired after a brief reflection.

“I’m doing great. Excited that intern year has finished. And tomorrow is my first day on the big leagues”

“Yeah. You start with the DT. Time has passed so fast”

“Certainly.”

Then, the silence made its presence. They stayed still to study each other subtly. Ethan couldn't decipher what, but there was something different in her that had nothing to do with the passing of time. It wasn’t the hair, her summerly outfit, or something physical. It was something in the way she was looking at him, in the way she was speaking, and even in her gestures, that made him realize she wasn't the same he had left eight weeks ago. There was something familiar about her manners, but he wasn't sure what it was.

And after an eternity of silence and endless questions inside his head, she finally spoke.

“Why you didn’t reply or call back… or said anything?”

All Ethan could think was if she was interested in asking that, it meant there was something still there. That maybe she still cared for him.

“Eleanor…”

“I had to ask Banerji to know me if you were okay. Don’t you think it isn’t unfair?”

“I know, he told me.”

“It was a fucking message, Ethan. Just ‘I’m okay’, just that, I wasn’t expecting a report. Just a fucking reply.”

“I know. I’m so…”

She raised her hand, stopping him midsentence.

“Please, don’t. If you were truly sorry, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place. It was so simple.”

“I needed to walk away…”

“Yes, I know, but this has nothing to do with that. With your so-called self-control. Cause I don’t know how much self-control you can compromise by sending a couple of words. It’s not like you can lose it being thousands of miles away from me. But, of course, the fault is always mine for expecting some decency from you.”

“You were worried?”

“How can you ask something like that? Of course I was worried! Epidemics are unpredictable and much riskier to doctors.”

She shook her head.

“I really hoped our conversation would’ve made sense to you. But no. Nothing’s changed. You can’t even be a decent friend or colleague.”

He remained silent.

Eleanor took a sip of the scotch, and then breathed heavily with her eyes closed. After a few moments, she opened them with renewed energy.

“Well, no point in dwelling in the past. Let’s talk about tomorrow.”

Her words caught him by surprise. The way she just shook off of his mistake was new. He expected she would give him hell for at least fifteen minutes, but apparently she had more important things to discuss.

“Okay, what do you want to know”—He said, finally.

“What should I know?”

“Well, once the meeting with all the other residents is done, you have to go to the Diagnostics Team office, to join us for the daily meeting. We’ll be discussing a new case too. A few hours ago, the hospital informed me that we are receiving a patient from Manhattan Presbyterian, so that will be your first case as Fellow Member.”

“Excellent. Anything I need to know about the other members?”

“I leave it to you, so you don’t meet them biased from what I tell you”—There was some strange tint in his sight, something mischievous Eleanor couldn’t decipher.

“I think you’re being tricky with the answer.”

Ethan chuckled.

“I’m not. Tomorrow you’ll have your first impressions on the members. It’ll be fine.”

“I suppose”—She sounded tense.

“You’ll do it great, Rookie. You had an excellent performance in your first year, and you made a diagnosis neither your boss nor your boss’s boss couldn’t make, so, that’s quite impressive. You deserve the spot.”

“That’s because I learned from the best.”

And there it was again, the silent longing in their eyes. The intense looks, the pain, the restraint. The alternated gaze between lips and eyes. It seemed like the dynamics from past months were about repeat again. Eleanor succumbing to her feelings, asking for a chance, breaking their boundaries just to have one more kiss, and lose herself in the same old lie with the same old ending. And just like before, Ethan would fall too. As if eight weeks hadn’t passed. As if the time and distance hadn't done their part.

But things had changed. He had no idea how much things had changed.

Because after what it felt an eternity, she just smiled at him shyly and then looked away from him at slow-motion speed. Or that’s how Ethan saw things in his disappointed mind.

Then she took her glass, her hand almost imperceptibly shaky, and drank the remained scotch on it.

Ethan froze for a moment, completely surprised at her reaction, and then turned to the table, sipping his drink too. His mind still was wondering why it was being so easy for her to just look away and don’t dare to kiss him. He was back after two months out and she didn’t even want to kiss him. 

“Good thing you’re back just when summer is beginning, so you don’t end up freezing for changing temperatures.”

Ethan couldn’t repress the astonishment when he noticed Eleanor was using the small-talk card. They had never had small talks before. She always had something to comment, some insight to share, even something to recriminate him with. But now there was nothing of it.

Maybe it was her last resource to avoid something utterly stupid or senseless like kissing him. He couldn’t really blame her.

“Yes, glad I can catch some sun. Vitamin D has worked wonders in Naveen. But he’s too cheerful for my liking.”

“Ethan, Dr. Banerji has always been too cheerful for your liking.”

“Well, yeah, but he is annoyingly cheerful now, and summer is just beginning”

“May the Force be with you”—Eleanor joked,  getting up from the bench.—“Well, I’m going home now. Tomorrow’s my first day and I have to come up as fresh as a daisy.”

Ethan smiled faintly at her.

“Goodnight Rookie, I see you tomorrow”

“Night Ethan, see ya”

#open heart #bryce lahela #ethan ramsey #choices stories you play #bryce lahela x mc #bryce x mc #bryce x casey #ethan x mc #ethan x casey #ethan x f!mc #open heart choices #open heart fanfiction #oh choices #oh fanfic #oh #choices fanfiction #fanfic

[purplesurveys]

1139

1 - What's your favourite TV show that was released before you were born? What is it that got you into that show in the first place? My parents introduced me to Perfect Strangers when I was 10 since they both grew up watching and enjoying the show - it came out in 1986 and ended in 1993. I love it mostly for the dynamic of Larry and Balki, which was really the whole point of the series. Then there’s also Friends, which first came out in 1994. It’s my comfort show for years to come and it’ll always be a series I’ll come back to whenever I need a pick-me-up.

2 - What is your preferred brand and flavour of ice-cream? I usually just stick to Selecta and I always get cookies and cream. Sometimes I’ll spoil myself and get Ben and Jerry’s and get whatever flavor that has cookie dough.

3 - When's the last time you got something in your eye? Can’t remember the last time I either cried or felt irritated with something in my eye.

4 - When was the last time someone got you flowers and what was the occasion? I’m not so sure. It was two or three years ago, I think. I don’t get to receive flowers or bouquets often, and especially not these days.

5 - What are your plans for tomorrow? Are these normal for that particular day of the week or are you doing something out of the ordinary? It was such a draining work week so I wanna use the free time this weekend to relax; but since I’m a bit of a workaholic I might also end up finding some time to do some work on the side just to feel productive hahah. I can’t go out either since we’re experiencing another spike in Covid cases - we’re reaching 7000 new cases a day - and stay-at-home orders and curfews are in place everywhere again, so I’ll just have to make the most of my time at home this weekend.

6 - What will you be eating for your next meal? Depends on what my mom is making for dinner, but I’m guessing another pasta dish...it’s Friday, though, and I usually allot this day to have food delivered in the evening as a reward to myself for finishing the week strong heheh. I got a spicy tuna salad and sushi again :)

7 - Who was the last person to pay you a compliment? How did you come to know that person? Andi, I think. We met at an anti-Marcos rally three years ago. They were carrying a big-ass guitar and I approached them because I liked their wrestling shirt.

8 - When is the last time the weather changed your plans? What were your plans and what did you end up doing instead? That would be last November, when we were in the middle of a bad typhoon and I had to file an emergency leave because we had a village-wide power outage and it kept me from being readily available for work. I made plans to a nearby mall to get wi-fi, but our village was seriously flooded so there was no way out. I had no choice but to begrudgingly file the leave even though I really wanted to attend work lol.

9 - What's your favourite kind of liquor? Do you prefer it "plain", flavoured or in a mixer? Tequila. Preferably as straight shots, because I like having a good time lmao.

10 - Who was the last person you spoke to via video call? Did you speak to this person via video before the pandemic hit? My workplace doesn’t really make it a norm to turn on our videos unless we’re pitching to or speaking with clients who prefer video calls. But I did just come from a Google Meet (albeit just using audio) this afternoon to present a deck and that call was with my co-workers and the clients we were presenting to. And no, I wasn’t even employed before the pandemic so other than Bea, I’ve never met any of the people in the call in person.

11 - Are you someone who prefers routine or spontaneity? I thrive on routine, but I also like it spiked with the occasional spontaneity.

12 - What streaming services (if any) are you subscribed to? Do you think they're good value for money? Just Netflix and Spotify. Yeah, I’d say both are good deals, especially Spotify.

13 - When was the last time you struggled to get to sleep? What did you do to help things? I’m not so sure, actually. I have no problem passing out these days lol. If I do have trouble falling asleep, I usually remedy it by watching YouTube videos or take a survey until my eyes feel tired.

14 - How often do you get your five a day? What was the last fruit or veggie that you ate? I’ve never heard of that concept...anyway, I looked it up and it has something to do with having a good amount of fruits and veggies per day. In any case, I had eggplants in my dinner tonight.

15 - How do you take your coffee? 3-in-1, so that it’s already made and blended well for me lmaaaaao. If I’m ordering at a coffee shop, I like sweeter flavors; I never take mine black.

16 - Is there anything that you're currently putting off? When do you think you'll finally get round to doing it? Getting new frames for my eyeglasses and an updated prescription along with it. Idk man, it just seems pointless to book  an appointment for the meantime since I’m never out and I can manage during my workdays without glasses anyway. With another strict lockdown order in place, idk when I’ll ever get around to setting an appointment.

17 - When was the last time you watched a Disney film? Which one was it and is it one of your favourites? I have no idea, it’s definitely been a while.

18 - What was the last household chore you completed? Is this something you do regularly? Just cleaned out the tray underneath Cooper’s playpen since it had some food crumbs and some of his fur. Yeah, I do it every night.

19 - Who were you with the last time you went out for a meal? Angela, Hans, Pia, Kyelle, Al, Gab, and Sam.

20 - Have you had your COVID vaccine yet? If not, are you going to accept it when you're offered? No, not yet. My workplace booked a bulk order for one of the vaccines - though I can’t remember which one - and we should be getting it in a few months or so.

21 - Do you have any pets and how many? If not, would you like to have one someday? I have two dogs. I’ve always wanted dogs, so I’m okay for now.

22 - What's the most unusual meat you've ever eaten? Did you like it? Carabao meat. It was fine, not horrid-tasting or anything, but I wouldn’t have it again. The one I had felt very hastily made, apart from smelling and tasting very farm-y.

23 - Do you prefer still or sparkling water and why? Still. I don’t like carbonated stuff period, so I doubt I’d enjoy sparkling water.

24 - Do you own a car? If so, could you live your current lifestyle without one? If you don't have one, would having one change your life in any way? My parents technically own it because they bought it, but it was designated for me. I mean I’d obviously survive without a car, but I’d find it very inconvenient. Booking a Grab every time would be so costly, and I’m not willing to try out our public transport anyway because they’ve been constantly terrible with disinfection and sanitation protocols throughout the pandemic.

25 - Who was the last person you made plans with and what are you going to do? Andi; we made plans to have our thesis printed and bound so that we can finally put a close to our college life hahaha. We just have to figure out a date and I also have to remove Gabie from my acknowledgments.

26 - What's the worst kind of physical pain you've ever experienced? Is this a one-off or is it something you experience regularly? Accidentally ripping my earring off my piercing was a fucking thrill I’d never want to go through again.

27 - What's your favourite length for a survey to be? Do you get put off if surveys are longer or shorter than you like? Anywhere between 35-80 questions is fine. Anything else would be too short or long. I’ll occasionally give long surveys a pass since it’s easy to take breaks in between, but I ignore short ones altogether.

28 - What colours are you wearing at the moment? Are any of those colours your favourite? I have a multi-colored striped top on and a scarlet pair of shorts. And no, I’m not wearing any pink rn.

29 - Once you've found a TV show you like, do you tend to watch it over and over again? What was the last TV programme you watched for the second or third time? Not with all shows - like I haven’t revisited BoJack Horseman after completing it the first time. I’ve been like this with Friends and Brooklyn Nine-Nine, though.

30 - When was the last time you cried and what was the reason for it? Do you feel better now? No idea when but it was probably from a heartwarming video.

#survey #surveys

[abalonetea]

Just Keep Breathing: Chapter Three

I was partnered with @the-dot for the @originalfictionbigbang​! Thank you for working with me, Dot!

Here is the first chapter! I’ve split the first 10k words between four chapters, and will be posting them all in a masterpost in just a moment!

Summary: It’s the height of storm season and everyone in Hi-Banks, Florida is getting ready for the bad weather. It should be a year like any other - but on the tails of a national pandemic, a new disaster strikes. More than one new disasters. So many disasters that Eddie Carver would like to put some of them back, thanks. He’s just a down on his luck guy living in the local trailer park with his boyfriend. He’s not interested in dealing with the revival of an old murder case - which he knows nothing about, thanks -, the storm season of the century, or…zombies?

Yeah. Absolutely not interested in the zombies.

This black-comedy follows the inner workings of a small town as they band together to survive, and the young man - reckless, mean, angry, written off b the big city folk come to look into a cold case - that might hold all of societies survival in his hands.

Forget about society.Eddie’s only interested in keeping his friends alive.

Chapter Three – The Troubles Begin

“ - the riot appears to have originated inside of an office building in Toledo, where the CEO of Marino Corps was evidently thrown from the top floor window. The cause of the riot is unknown, but it has grown both in number and in scale of violence. The hospitals in the area are overflowing with victims, many of whom are suffering from bite wounds - “

Click.

“ - and if the tropical storm continues on this path, it will run directly in front of Hurricane Beth. The resulting storm will make land fall with Florida - “

Click.

“ - is the streak of violence we’re currently seeing in large cities a result of drugs, a side affect of the vaccine, or something else entirely? Today on The Sooty Orange we’re going to discuss - “

Click.

Carson groans. “Everything sucks. Just hit the radio.”

Eddie stretches over and clicks on the radio instead, oldies crooning into the quiet trailer park. “Man, why is it so hard to just find something fun to watch, huh? What happened to playing movies and stuff?”

“Dunno. It’s a real drag first thing in the morning, though,” says Carson. They’ve got a spread of coffee in mismatched cracked mugs on the little table in front of them, along with a few microwaved breakfast burritos and an open bag of sweet chili pepper flavored chips. “You work today?”

“Yeah, I’ve got to hit up the garage this evening.”

“Ugh. So we still aren’t going to get the truck up?”

“Part might be in today. I’ll check on it,” says Eddie.

They aren’t talking about the news and they aren’t talking about the agents, and that’s just facts. They didn’t need to speak about it. They just both sort of came to that conclusion. No point in discussing something that can’t be changed, and Eddie won’t say a word on the Mulborne case, not even to Carson.

They eat and change and head off on their own separate ways, passing Bonnie Barker and her dog Poncho on the way out of the trailer park. She waves at them and the dog goes nuts barking. It’s cloudy and gross out, and Eddie has a really bad feeling that it’s just going to be a bad damn day.

* * *

The little black car is parked outside of the mechanic shop, and the moment that Eddie gets close to it none other than Agent Russo steps out. He’s got this awful slicked back hair and a stupidly expensive looking suit. The other agent isn’t there.

“Ugh. You again?” Eddie squints at him and sucks on his front teeth. “I told you, man, I don’t know anything about the Mulborne case.”

“Something tells me that’s not the truth. I’ve looked into you, Eddie Burke. In and out of trouble for years. You’ve got a record a mile long, and you were the last recorded person seen speaking to those missing tourists,” says Russo. “I think that the two of us need to have a little talk.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t.” Eddie makes to walk in past him but the agent grabs him by the elbow, wrenching him to the side. “Hey! Get the Hell off of me, man!”

“I don’t know how you people do it out here, but let me tell you this,” says Russo. “When I say we need to have a talk, it’s not something that’s up for debate.”

A sharp whistle splits through the air. “Alright, boys. That’s enough. You want to talk to him, you get here with a warrant or you do it off my property,” says Penny. “That’s how it works around here, boy. And you, Eddie, you get to work. I got a car that needs the tires changed out, pronto.”

Eddie jerks his arm out of Russo’s grip, flips him off, and scurries into the garage. There’s not actually a car needing the tires changed so he mostly just loiters around until Penny comes inside, shaking her head.

“This is a whole lot of bad business that we don’t need to be dealing with right now,” says Penny, clucking her tongue. “I don’t like that man poking around none. You think someone needs to go out and give Benny a heads up?”

Eddie hops up onto one of the counters. “No way. Benny’s on his own.”

Penny purses her lips. “Neighborly.”

“Hey, I ain’t neighbors with him,” says Eddie. “You want to hike all the way out there for this, you be my guest. I’ve got enough that I’m dealing with. You been keeping track of this storm?”

“Yeah,” says Penny. “We’ll have to close up shop if it gets too much closer.”

“Red’s still planning on going out to his cabin. That dumbass.”

“Really? I don’t think I’d want to go out in this kind of weather.”

“You’re telling me,” mutters Eddie. “Hey, do you actually have work for me today?”

Penny gives him another pinched smile. “Yep. You’re gonna work on my boat motor. Put those skinny fingers of yours to good use for a change.”

Eddie groans. He hates working on boats but – cash is cash, he supposes.

* * *

Eddie swings by the gas station on the way home from work to buy a six pack. TJ’s working and Rat’s hanging off him out at the front counter, the door to the beak room blocked open with a tire iron and the grainy box screen style TV showing off the national news; the riots are spreading across the country, hitting every major city. There’s talk of it possibly being related to the vaccine or even a new street drug that’s being passed around, something similar to a hyped up bath salt.

“That’s stupid,” says Rat. “I’ve done those before, and no one out in some big city pent house is going to snort bath salts.”

“Coke,” says TJ.

Rat squints at him. “Coke doesn’t make you bite people.”

“Nah,” says TJ. He lights a cigarette. “But that’s what they do, you know. At those fancy parts. Snort coke.”

“Gimme one of those.” Eddie wiggles his fingers at the pack.

Rat pipes in, “oh, if he’s having one, I want one too!”

TJ grouses and grumbles but passes them each a smoke. “You owe me for that.”

Rat sticks out his tongue. “Join the club. I owe everyone.”

“Man, after the day I had, I deserve one of these. You all seen those feds running around?” Eddie asks. “Can you believe they’re out here about Benny?”

Rat perks up. He’s actually pretty good friends with Benny, even despite everything that’s happened. “What, really?”

The bell above the door chimes and they glance over almost as a group, only for Smith to come walking in. She heads for the back of the store, grabbing a few things from the little center rack where all the pre packaged and over priced sandwiches only tourists buy are at.

And sure, maybe the smart thing to do would be to just shut up, and stay quiet, and let the whole thing blow over, but Eddie’s never been particularly smart. He’s sharp and mean and good with his fists, and he scuttles across the gas station, still clutching his bummed cigarette, just so he can get right up in Smith’s face and tell her, “you need to make that little attack dog of yours back the Hell off. I didn’t do shit, you hear me?”

Smith, clutching a plastic wrapped chunk of carrot cake pulls back. “Excuse me?”

“I said that you need to back off. I don’t care who the Hell you people are. If that asshole shows up at my work again, I’m gonna clock him,” says Eddie, all teeth, and from the other side of the gas station Rat crows with laughter.

“Shit! Did you have the feds sicced on you?” Rat jams his cigarette out against the top of the counter. “That’s a trip!”

“I – have no idea what you’re talking about,” says Smith.

“Yeah, I totally believe that.” Eddie takes a step back, takes a drag off his cigarette. “You people come tearing in here and start shit, but you know what? No one around here is gonna put up with that. We got enough troubles happening. We don’t need you dragging up old ghosts that are already put in the ground.”

“What? No, that’s not – we already discussed that,” says Smith, shaking her head. “I didn’t realize that he was going to try and follow up on a dead lead. I’m very sorry. If there was an issue with your work place because of this, I can – I’ll happily speak with them tomorrow.”

The apology is so out of the blue that it takes Eddie off guard. He freezes, glances over at the counter. TJ shrugs his shoulders.

Smith continues, “we’re not looking to cause issues for anyone. We’re just doing our job, same as anyone else. I’ll speak with Russo. It won’t happen again.”

She steps around Eddie, all neat as can be, pays for her wares, and leaves. Just like that. As if it’s all nothing.

In the wake of it, Eddie sidles back up to the counter and puts out his cigarette in the little fish shaped ash tray. “I’m outta here. Just ring me up for the beer.”

TJ does, the chime of the register, and says, “I don’t know. I think I would’ve spilled the beans already.”

“You say anything to those agents, I’ll break your face,” warns Eddie, the words a sort of harshness that only comes from fear. “You got that?”

Rat cheerfully chimes in, “I’ll totally help.”

#wip jkb #my writing #writeblr #original fiction big bang #zombies

[opposite-idol]

Competition / I'm Busy pt.2 / Phosphoros pt.2

I thrive on your shock when I’m better than you expected Please keep on underestimating me It’s what all the authorities have always suggested Please keep on ignoring all the awards ceremonies I’ve attended Was I hardly there? You didn’t even see me Yes, I’m really that busy Yeah, here’s the follow up to everything Here’s the follow up to everything I’ve told you Sorry, can’t hop the queue I’m waiting in line, just like you

But unlike you, I can’t be bothered I’m never affected Everyone thinks I must be so weathered But I’m full of first world problems Never even been infected Yeah, I’ve had more vaccines than you I’ve got people in my corner, lying too At high risk, but it’s not a competition

I thrive on your annoyance when I keep my opinions to myself And I thrive on your shock when I let them out I never said any of this was anything I cared about Everyone assumes I want the clout But the truth is, I’m on a completely different route Oh no, oh no, I cry, what will I do without I’ll be just fine, I’ve been doing this since I was fourteen That’s 2004 No, I’ve never done a line But that doesn’t mean I don’t want more I will always want more time My plan is to be immortal Don’t care what this business talks about Too many people in the industry getting arrested for being creepy Even more being ignored, but what about me

Yeah, I thrive on shutting down your insistence to talk when I’m quiet But I thrive on your shock when I’m loud Oh, you don’t like it? I’m too obsessed with my own design How do this and this combine How do all the signs align Please let me break my own fucking spine I don’t have the time or energy for you Please just give me a sign Oh, everyone who likes me thinks I’m so divine The truth is I will never know how to shine I only know how to confine myself Redefine myself Just now taking everything off the shelves the ones I built myself When I dug this grave Trying to take everything with me Angels sit with me when I’m awake But demons lay with me when I sleep I’m just trying to exist in this ugly wet dream Don’t need any snakes, or Eve I’m my own evil entity Angels always praise me But demons are the ones who keep me I just want to break free But how do I reclaim myself when demons are the ones who allow me to dream I spread my arms, say “heaven, I’m yours for the taking”

But darkness already veils me partially And once a combination, no more allowance for purity I don’t know why I’m faking I know heaven don’t want me So why even bother trying Oh, yeah, I’ve got people in my corner lying And unlike others, I live for it, consider it my love language But everyone thinks I’m so goddamn languid Because when the authorities finish their frisking they’ll have found nothing Because it’s not a competition

What are you looking at?

I thrive on your anger when I keep my mouth shut And I thrive on your confusion when I talk Just wanna fill everyone with shock But I never said I’d give a fuck Everyone assumes I’m surviving purely on someone else’s luck But the truth is, no matter how much I wanted it no one’s ever given me a leg up And I don’t know what makes anyone think I give a- Oh no, oh no, I fake cry, just so you can hear the sound No matter what you say, think of me, do to me, I’ll always be around Yeah, I’m around the corner I’m not waiting to pounce No, I’m waiting to renounce Because I only care about myself Keep that on the middle shelf So it can be seen more easily by everyone else Then I’ll just walk away Because I don’t care And I really don’t think this world is fair And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt real bad when fighting gets me nowhere What is this world even about I don’t even know what this business is talking about Too many people in this industry getting arrested for being creepy Even more being ignored Cringe as I watch everyone move forward toward their own Burning Sun

But I never wanted to shine So I run in the opposite direction But those thoughts still in my mind I wonder, can I help it or is this just humankind Destined Help, I’m no divine But I want to remain on your mind Wave up, hi to the spotlight I may not want to shine But I want to be shined upon But I’ll keep it to myself every time I- …Umm

It’s never enough, it’s not enough I will always want to be alive Yeah, I’m tough I thrive But I constantly wonder Is that normal? Is it normal to want to be immortal? It’s because I feel like I’m the only one with morals Why are heart and home always full of criminals

But darkness has surrounded me since birth But I still see the sun, still see my worth Always a combination, no time for separation Keep going Even if I have to stretch myself I don’t want to confine myself Want to redefine myself Putting everything on these shelves the ones I built myself When I dug this grave Trying to take everything with me Angels sit with me when I’m awake But demons lay with me when I’m asleep Because I’m just trying to exist in this ugly wet dream Don’t need any snakes, or Eve I’m my own evil entity And I’m my own savior, here to save me

What are you looking at? Don’t you know, it’s not a competition

#Phosphoros

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Oh wow, you two have been friends for a long time then! I know what's that like, I've known my best friend who lives in Spain since we were 8! Definitely awesome to have someone like that in your life. Are you still going to be roommates when the baby comes? And that was really thoughtful of your ex making sure you didn't travel alone.

Canada is really cold tho, so if you're okay with that you should def move there! Ah well, I'm doing better now so that's what matters, all the horrible worries I had when I lived back home are gone atm.

Yeah, that's the spirit! you can do all US states even if it takes you 43 years, that's plenty of time! hahaha And your welcome, it's one of my favourite fics.

Your mind is great, don't worry. At least something good came out of it haha.

Oh so people make her a pisces then, I see. I've met a pisces who was kinda like Dani once so that's why I said she has that kind of energy, but she def has fire on her chart too. And yeah I can see some virgo traits in her, but she's very sensitive and a bit naive so I guess pisces makes more sense.

I had to look up what a badger was hahaha never heard of them before.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Sounds scary. And you still have to take medication bc of it. The threat of catching covid must've made that 10x worse too. And I can only hope to learn from my mistakes at the very least.

People who made thobm are fucking savages tbh hahaha. 😂 Kinda wish they had cast Oliver as Jamie like they originally intended but then we wouldn't have our damie... don't know what's worse honestly.

Oh Yorkshire accent is pretty cool too, isn't the lead singer of the Arctic Monkeys from Yorkshire? Honestly think all the language variations and different accents that come with each region are really fascinating. And that happens with all languages, not just English. Wish I could speak all languages in the world, that would be a cool superpower! I guess it makes sense you like American accents more bc it's so different from yours. I've become desensitized to North American accents just bc I hear them all the time, but I see how it would be more appealing to you.

Oooh I love that possibility of it becoming a real fic soon hahaha. Worst part of letting it cook is that I already have the finished illustration in my head but the transferring to reality part is not working rn. Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy tbh.

You def had a busy weekend and start of the week! I have a virgo in my life rn too I know the struggle. Her birthday is this weekend in fact. I had an okay weekend thank you! Managed to catch up with that pirate AU you recommended and I'm already planning fanart for it that will probably never see the light of day haha! Are we going to have more smut this next MoU update? (need to know for scientific purposes 🔬)

Yeah we've been friends for years we met when we were 14 and are still friends now at 27 so it's been one of my longest friendships I have a friend that I met at 4 but we're not as close as we once were still really good friends but not best friends haha!! aww that's so cool that you guys have been friends for that long!! Yeah we're still gonna live together when the baby comes- we're looking for a bigger place right now to make room for the baby and her boyfriend (he still doesn't live with us yet but will soon.... *insert gif of Monica Gellar one friends saying "And now I have to live with a boy" while crying* Yeah my ex is a super thoughtful person and she just didn't want me travelling so far alone when I had never flown before because when I went to Paris with my college we drove there and went on the Eurostar and it took us 13 hours to get there but I had never flown before going to LA and I picked an 11 hour flight for my first one so she wanted someone to fly with me she's a very thoughtful person I LOVE the cold weather I am so sad right now because it's bene quite warm in the north of England I can't wait until it's like -3 degrees Celsius during the winter nights again so I am sure I would love Canada I am fine with it taking me 43 years if that's what it takes haha I just wanna hit all 50 states I think it would be so fun to do it and to be able to say I'd done it.  Haha thank you!! As long as something good comes out of it that's all I can hope for but there are times I've done things and people are like "And you're allowed to teach kids?" Like I can be really dumb sometimes haha.  Yeah I've seen a couple of fics where she has been a pisces I think with it never being said and with VP never saying what she thinks she is people have looked at her personality and matched it up to zodiac signs- a lot of the pisces I've met haven't been like Dani like I said but I do trust what people who know more about zodiac signs say because I know nothing and I just pick a random date each time so CBML she's a Leo and MoU she's a virgo and in SLS she's gonna be a Scorpio because that's just how I've done it haha but I really know nothing about zodiac signs other than what you have told me!! There different types of badgers there are honey badgers and they're more in America here we have a different type of badger and they look so cute but they are really vicious if they feel attacked or scared so try snd avoid badgers... more than that though we just have cows, geese, ducks, swans... lots of foxes but noting dangerous like bears or anything its a very boring place to live!! Yeah it is pretty scary but I just take everything one day at a time- I actually caught Covid last year because of how much time I was in the hospital having treatments for my condition I caught Covid and ended up in the hospital for a week while they had to give me loads of medication and blood transfusions and had to put me on a fluid drip because I was really dehydrated and that was really scary but luckily I was okay and now I am fully vaccinated so hopefully I won't catch it again. I think you will definitely learn from your mistakes I feel like some mistakes have to be made in life so you can grow from them Oh they were definitely savage but I love Bly Manor so much and I will watch it so many more times I can't wait for it to come out on DVD!! Like it was heart breaking but so beautiful and we got such an incredible wlw relationship from it and some great representation and I love that!! Would be interesting to see how it would've affected people had Oliver played Jamie though Yeah Alex Turner is from Sheffield which is South Yorkshire so again we have a similar accent but it's different because I am from further North but there are things that we say in a similar way because we’re from Yorkshire just different parts of Yorkshire... there are four Yorkshires: North, East, West, and South haha and all are in the north of England  Yeah I think that’s the case every where I think accents and languages are so interesting and I would love to be able to speak any other language but I only speak English in my school it wasn’t seen as being overly important to learn a language and I have tried learning them since leaving school but I struggle now  There are some American accents I love (Southern and Midwestern) so when I heard Dani speak I was like 😍🥵🥰 because I love that type of accent I have become desensitised to some American accents that are just standard ones from watching so many movies and TV shows but there are some accents that just make me do heart eyes haha  I am hoping it can become a real fic soon but I am struggling with some stuff but keeping hopeful with it!! Awwh no I’m sorry it’s so hard for you I hope it gets better soon that you’re able to get it onto a page!!  I have had such a busy weekend and part of the week had a bit of a busy day today too and looking after my niece again tomorrow not rest for me it would seem but it’s fine I don’t mind keeping busy!! Well happy birthday to her I hope she has a great day!!  Oh yay I’m glad had an okay weekend and that you were able to catch up on the pirate AU and that you already have fan art planned for it- even if no one ever sees that fanart!! No there is no smut in this chapter of MoU some implied smut but no actual smut- there will probably be smut in chapter 9 though because y’know... it’s me haha 😂 

#lib3rtin33

[elwingflight]

Coronavirus: Information & Guidelines

What you can do now, and what to prepare for

There seems to be a lack of what-to-do suggestions on tumblr beyond handwashing, so I thought I’d put something together. I’ve never actually encouraged people to reblog something of mine before, but this might be the time. To be clear: I am not personally a public health expert of any kind. Both my parents are (epidemiology/global health degrees, worked for CDC) and I’ve run this by them. My information is coming from disease researchers on twitter and official public health guidelines online. Sources at the end of the post. This is mostly directed at people in countries where COVID-19 has been reported (I’m in the U.S.), but is not *yet* widespread in the community. Written Mar. 1st 2020, last updated 3/9 (shorter, helpful twitter thread here, helpful NPR article here)

General Info

Firstly, a lot of politicians are *still* trying to sugarcoat things, but it should be clear by now that the new coronavirus is spreading widely and will continue to do so. Because of the incubation period, and in the U.S. at least the delay in testing, the number of cases is almost certainly going to increase rapidly in the near future no matter what we do now. Official government sources are helpful, but its also good to look at what experts on viral epidemics who aren’t directly government-affiliated are saying. Their agenda is purely informing the public in the most constructive way possible, without politics getting in the way.

Two key points- COVID-19 can have a long incubation period (the time from when you catch the virus to when you start showing symptoms) and most people don’t get severe symptoms. Some are entirely asymptomatic, but most people get typical flu-like symptoms. Specifically, the early symptoms to watch out for are a fever and dry cough (meaning, a stuffy nose is probably just a regular cold). Its possible but unlikely to transmit the virus while asymptomatic, most transmission happens when you have heavier symptoms.

The most vulnerable people are the elderly (~ over 60) and those with preexisting health conditions (i.e. cardiovascular disease, respiratory condition, diabetes), or a simultaneous infection with something else (NOT kids in particular!) So far the mortality rate has been about 1-2% (compared to 0.1% for the general winter flu - yes, this really is worse). However, that might be an overestimate, both because people with mild cases aren’t getting tested (the denominator should be bigger), and because the early situation in Wuhan, where a lot of our numbers come from, was especially bad in regards to availability of healthcare.

This is an emotional, difficult situation. Don’t panic. The world didn’t end in 1918, and its not going to end now. But it is very serious, and we need to be thinking about it rationally, not pretending everything is just going to be okay, or uselessly pointing blame. Take care of your mental health, and check in with each other. Epidemics test our generosity and selflessness. Those qualities are needed right now, but don’t neglect yourself either.

What You Can Do Now

There is stuff everyone can do both to prevent yourself from getting infected, and to prepare if you do. ***The big picture to keep in mind is that the biggest risk of epidemics is that they overwhelm our system, especially our healthcare system. What I mean by this is that our society is built to deal with a certain volume of things happening at once- people buying groceries, getting sick, etc. If we suddenly all rush to do something, we overburden these systems and they won’t be there for the people who need them most. Therefore our goal is to slow down the spread of disease, buying time and lowering the overall burden on these systems. This is called “flattening the curve”. It looks like this, and I cannot stress how important this is.***

A very helpful thread on preparedness

Staying Healthy

Like similar viruses (think colds and flu), COVID-19 is mostly transmitted from person to person, usually by close contact but sometimes from an infected surface. More here.

Wash your hands. Everyone has heard this one- 20 seconds, soap all over your hands, wash the soap off. If you can’t wash your hands use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer (at least 60% alcohol). But handwashing is absolutely better. Also- cough into your elbow/shoulder, not your hand, and avoid shaking hands- try elbow bumps or maybe a polite nod instead! If you’re handwashing so much that you’re hands are threatening to crack and bleed though, consider washing more strategically or using hand sanitizer instead.

In combination with hand-washing- stop touching your face, especially while out! This takes practice, everyone does it all the time without thinking. A good practice is to avoid touching your face while out, then wash your hands thoroughly as soon as you get home.

Similarly, avoid touching surfaces as much as possible! Particularly bad are door handles, elevator buttons, that kind of thing. The virus can probably (based on studies of related viruses) last a while on these. Regular gloves can help a bit. Use a tissue then throw it away, use your elbow, etc.

Do Not buy face masks! There’s mixed evidence on whether they’re at all helpful when used by the general public to prevent catching a virus, but actual medical professionals who need them are facing shortages (that’s probably part of why so many healthcare workers got sick in Wuhan), so our buying them up is really bad. The only times you should be wearing them is if you yourself are sick (they do help then!) or if you’re looking after a sick person. Seek instruction in that case in how to use them properly. (Thread on why buying those fancy masks is not good).

If COVID-19 is in your community, try to stay 6 feet from people, which basically means going places as little as possible. See below.

Planning Ahead

Its also a good idea to prepare in case you need to self-quarantine. Self-quarantine is necessary if you’ve potentially been exposed to COVID-19, or if you’re sick but not enough to need to go to the hospital. Follow local guidelines- if there’s lots of transmission in your area, nonessential workers will probably be advised to stay home as much as possible.

If you’re able, get medication now. Don’t go crazy and buy out the drug store, just a reasonable amount. Try to get at least a month’s worth of any prescription medications. This can be hard at least in the U.S. - your doctor may well be able to prescribe more, but insurance companies and drug stores can be terrible. I’ve found trying a different drugstore can sometimes help. Try your best. They may also be reluctant to prescribe more to avoid causing shortages. Idk what the right answer is here.

Don’t go crazy and buy out the store, but start getting a little extra shelf-stable or frozen food. Even some root vegetables that will last a few weeks. You want enough for 2 weeks in case of self-quarantine, but you do NOT want to empty out stores. Panic buying is definitely a stress on the system. Just add a few extra things each time you shop. Don’t forget about pets. You can always eat the food and replenish it over time.

Make a plan with your family/community. If someone gets sick or needs to self-quarantine, is there a corner of the house they can stay in? Who can take care of them? etc. I haven’t focused on plans for schools/religious communities/workplaces etc but those are very important too! This is one place where keeping an eye on local and national news is important. In the U.S., for example, school systems are planning ways to make food available to kids if they’re not going to school.

If COVID-19 is starting to spread in your community, think about how else you can be a good community member. Cancelling nonessential doctor’s appointments, surgeries etc may be very important, for example. If schools are closed, can you help out neighbors with childcare? Do you have a cleaner who may need to be payed in advance if there’s a quarantine?

If You Might Be Sick/Need to Quarantine

See likely symptoms above. Remember, normal colds still exist, and if you go to the doctor for every one of those you will overwhelm the system.

Don’t just go to a hospital! Call ahead to your doctor/clinic/hospital and get instructions on what to do. Getting healthcare workers sick is something we really want to avoid. That said, DO get tested as soon as possible, and act as if you are contagious. The health coverage situation is the U.S. is not yet clear (and ofc its not something the current admin is eager to clarify). Hopefully testing will be covered financially by the government, but I can’t promise that at this time.

In the meantime, stay home and quarantined if you show any symptoms of illness if you possibly, possibly can. This is especially difficult in the U.S. if you don’t have sick leave/childcare, but please. Do your utmost.

Look after yourself. Skype/google hangouts/etc is great for keeping connected. Have some chocolate/chicken broth/other sick foods ready.

The Big Picture

Coronavirus/COVID-19 has not been declared a pandemic yet, but it probably will be before long. This is almost certainly going to get worse before it gets better. We don’t yet know if warmer weather will slow its spread, and a vaccine will probably take about 1-1.5 years to be developed and tested. As I mentioned before, the best thing we can do to keep the world working, minimize mortality, etc is to slow the spread as much as we can, and minimize the strain on the system. Hospitals are going to be overwhelmed. There aren’t infinite unoccupied beds or ventilators, or people to operate them, and supply chains could get disrupted. Thinking about these things is scary, and it will take time to adjust to what’s happening. Start that process now, and help everyone you know reach the point where they’re able to act, not panic. Another reassuring thing- if we slow the spread of COVID-19, in addition to fewer total people getting sick, you will soon have people who are recovered and almost certainly immune. These people will be invaluable as helpers in their communities.

Now that the practical stuff is out of the way, I want to say from a U.S. perspective that yes, our lack of social welfare other countries take for granted is going to hurt us. Lack of access to childcare, no guaranteed paid sick leave, and of course expensive healthcare are massive problems that will make it much harder to limit disease transmission. Help each other in any way you can, and vote for candidates that support implementing these policies! And of course, watch out for propaganda of all kinds, whether its using the virus as an excuse for racism, calls to delay elections, etc. So far my biggest concern is a lack of willingness to admit how serious this is, but we can do this. Lets put extra pressure on politicians to be honest and change policies to actually help people. But, yes, lets also stay united. We need each other now (just, you know, 6 feet apart).

A few sources

In general, the Guardian is a great, free, reliable source of news. In the U.S., NPR (website as well as radio) is another great source. The Washington Post and Seattle Times have made their coronavirus-related coverage open access, not sure about other national newspapers.

twitter thread from World Health Organization (WHO)

U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) COVID-19 homepage (not being updated in some ways it should be, like total # of tests)

A reality check from some non-Governmental experts (basically, what governments don’t want to say yet, which is that this virus is going to spread, and the goal now is to infect as few people as possible, as slowly as possible. Read this.)

Why you should act now, not when things get bad in your area (we’re always operating on outdated information)

If you want the latest technical info, The Lancet (major medical journal group) has all of their content compiled here, open access.

I can do my best to answer questions (i.e. ask my dad) but those or other reliable, readily find-able sources should have you pretty well covered. Do let me know if anything on here is wrong or needs to be updated! Stay safe, stay positive, we can do this.

#coronavirus #covid19 #covid-19 #healthcare #actually important shit

[joementa]

We All Deserve Some Beach Time With Bruce

Summer.  Is.  Here.  I always hear people refer to Memorial Day Weekend as the “unofficial” start of summer, but I don’t buy it.  To me, this weekend IS WHEN SUMMER STARTS.  And what better way to start summer, ESPECIALLY this summer, which is so desperately needed, than time at the beach listening to Bruce.  I don’t know where you’ll be this weekend, but the weather isn’t looking too great for the beach where I’m at.  But that’s okay.  I’ve experienced enough summers in Brigantine that even though I won’t be feeling the sun or smelling the sunscreen or baking in the sun, I will mentally be doing all of those things.  That’s how ingrained the next 4+ months are into my feelings.

And just like summers in Brigantine, Bruce’s music, particularly his beach music, is ingrained into my feelings. This playlist really wasn’t too hard to create because I’m so familiar with all of his music and I know which music of his is great for summers on the beach.  More than any summer I can think of, though, this is a summer that we really deserve.  So I’ve included the entire The Wild, The Innocent & The E-Street Shuffle album in this playlist because you deserve it.  It’s not only my favorite Bruce album, it’s not only my favorite summer album, it’s not only my favorite beach album….but it’s my favorite album PERIOD. Undeniably one of the best albums ever made.  And I’m not sure I’ve ever heard a better side 2 than “Incident on 57th Street”, “Rosie” and “New York City Serenade”.  It’s amazing.  When I hear this album, I’m instantly in South Jersey – either on the beach in Brigantine or on my way to the beach (there are some funky South Jersey towns driving from Philly to Brigantine, and I don’t know of another album that captures the sound of funky towns than this one).

Once again, this playlist is designed to be listened to in order from front to back.  Many of these songs weren’t hits and many of them were actually unreleased until Tracks came out – crazy, right?!  But all of these are great, great beach songs.

I hope that it’s hot and sunny wherever you are this weekend.  And if it’s not, don’t worry.  This playlist will make it feel hot and sunny.  After last year, you deserve a hot and sunny summer day!

One more thing.  Many people have been asking me if I’m making summer plans yet.  And I’m hearing a lot of people getting stressed about making summer plans.  I’m trying to take this summer as it comes.  I’ll make a few plans of course but I’m over stressing about what I’m doing X number of weeks from now.  If you are struggling with stress about your upcoming summer, just put on this playlist and listen to Bruce.  He sounds pretty carefree here – which is how summer should be!

I hope all of you have a great Memorial Day Weekend and are looking forward to the summer.  I know I am.  The best way I can describe myself is that I’m a summer guy.  I’ve been doing this awhile now, and here are a few ways you can be like me: be sure to wear sunscreen but still get a very deep tan. Stay hydrated, but always have an ice cold negroni when you get off the beach.  Always swim on a guarded beach but do at least one late night naked swim session per summer.  Get plenty of rest but go for early morning runs on the beach.  Watch a full moon shine off the ocean.  Go surfing while the sun is setting.    NEVER feed the seagulls.  AND GET YOUR COVID-19 VACCINE!!!!!

Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/we-all-deserve-some-beach-time-with-bruce/pl.u-kv9l0qdTX46JEq

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4hPLaMjtEf87zUoQc49IGv?si=Pb8tyughT2aMQr3xS2OQHQ

“Bishop Danced” (Tracks)

“Tenth Avenue Freeze Out” (Born To Run)

“Blinded By The Light” (Greetings From Asbury Park, N.J.)

“Seaside Bar Song” (Tracks)

“Ain’t Good Enough For You” (The Promise)

“I Wanna Be With You” (Tracks)

“The E-Street Shuffle” (The Wild, The Innocent & The E-Street Shuffle)

“4th Of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)” (The Wild, The Innocent & The E-Street Shuffle)

“Kitty’s Back” (The Wild, The Innocent & The E-Street Shuffle)

“Wild Billy’s Circus Story” (The Wild, The Innocent & The E-Street Shuffle)

“Incident On 57th Street” (The Wild, The Innocent & The E-Street Shuffle)

“Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)” (The Wild, The Innocent & The E-Street Shuffle)

“New York City Serenade” (The Wild, The Innocent & The E-Street Shuffle)

“Lonesome Day” (The Rising)

“Darlington County” (Born In The U.S.A.)

“Working On The Highway” (Born In The U.S.A.)

“Cadillac Ranch” (The River)

“Santa Ana” (Tracks)

“Thundercrack” (Tracks)

“Thunder Road” (Born To Run)

#music #vinyl #summer #beach #jersey shore #new jersey #brigantine #bruce springsteen #bruce #springsteen

[a-student-out-of-time]

Connections Review Part 1

Happy 2021 everyone! Well…the year’s off to a terrible start due to how bad last year was but I hope that most of 2021 will be good and not be 2020 Part 2: Electric Boogaloo. But enough of that, another arc ended, another review due. Now I am quite conscious of length here and I’ll try to make these reviews a bit easier to read, it will still be split into 3 parts as there I can cover the main themes which are; Time Travel, Harems and Maverick ‘Motherfucker Hellspawn’ Storm. My initial plan was to have a quick lightening recap of everything that doesn’t fit into these categories and then review the Time Travelling and Harems but Storm became so big he needed his own part. Oh, and it should go without saying, but I will not cover the Mistletoe Asks. They are not relevant to the arc and are basically shipping fluff. No in-depth analysis required there. And with that said and done, let’s get right into it.

Its Recap time

So, as I mentioned before we get into the 3 big themes of this arc, I’ll cover really quick, and I promise it will be really quick here, anything that doesn’t fit into those categories. So firstly, we see that Kazuichi went around the Void Warehouse and helped fix their lights. Now that all of Class 77-B are aware of Void’s existence, they can help out with any problems they might have in their living quarters, which leads to a funny scene of Kazuichi getting attacked by a crow. This could be random but given what has happened with another seemly random event (more on that later) and the fact that Monocrow exists, this could be sinister foreshadowing for things yet to come. We also see Kazuichi getting ideas to build a robot with Chihiro as that’s his way of romance. Given Chihiro’s crossdressing tendencies, I wonder when the truth comes out and how confused our shark boy would be. But yeah, Kazuichi out all of the new Class 77-B members seems to have the most focus in this arc, not that I’m complaining as he was the most ‘pointless’ survivor from DR2 so him getting actual character development and focus I’m more then welcome for! There’s also Yoruko rekindling her relationship with her mentor Minako. This went better than expected then again it happened years ago, both Yoruko and Minako had time to reflect on it and both wanted to make up, but thought the other wouldn’t accept it. We also see some parallels here with Hiroko from UDG as Kizuna is revealed to be the result of a teenage pregnancy. As I mentioned in an ask, not to bog you down with personal details but teenage pregnancy is a serious problem where I live and too many people I know fucked as teens, didn’t use protection, and boom! Babies! Good thing I have a passion for Danganronpa so I DON’T get wrapped up in that kind of stuff eh? So, I completely understand Minako’s rational here, and Kizuna’s more troublesome behaviour as one of my RL friends was also the result of a teen pregnancy, and this led to her having…issues. And yeah, Kizuna shamelessly flirts with the Anons and talks about Josuke, no not THAT Josuke, simping hard for her. Naturally we have bigger problems to content with but once the weather calms down, we need to sort out Kizuna, especially now that Yoruko and Minako have made up. And that’s the two things that happened which weren’t relevant to the main themes. Now they are out of the way, time to move onto Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Stuff. Hey, Emma made a Doctor Who joke already, so it’s okay!

Back to the Visions

Despite Time Travel being one of the main themes of this blog, not a lot of research has gone into it at the moment, so in this wind down time, it’s the perfect time for Umeko to do some experiments into time travel. Last Arc dropped the reveal that Mikako has being getting dreams of the future, and as Koroko and Umeko pull up at the Kisurugi household, we see that Mikako just had a dream of the Tragedy, which understandably horrified her. Because of this Umeko and Koroko were forced to tell Mikako, Yamato and his father the truth about the future. They omitted Kasugano and him changing the timelines as its not needed but well…when one dreams of an apocalyptic future you know is coming, there’s no sense in lying about it. Umeko then explains about the time travel and basically that since the brain surgery, Mikako’s brain has become a tachyon receiver that can pick up tachyon from different timelines, not just the one you are on. But it goes beyond being able to see the future via her dreams as if Mikako focuses, and someone touches Mikako during this time, they are hit with a vision of the future that involves them. The first vision was with Koroko and she caught a glimpse into a future much more distant then the 2017 that Hajime, Yoruko, Sora and the other 2 time travellers came from, as it seems to be from the Year 2020-2022 so pretty close to our time then. Here Koroko and Kanata, who not only went through a growth spurt like Hiyoko (Poor Hibiki, she is forever going to be the short one) and has married Nagito, are giving vaccinations to a young girl named Sayuri Hinata. Sayuri herself is very familiar to some people as during the last Arc when Akane was trying to comfort Nikei, one Anon asked about a timeline where she and Ayame had a child. This was a reference to Nextgenronpa which is a Nextgen AU on Instagram created by Mikwithnoando, if you happen to have an Instagram account, I highly recommend reading it, it’s really good! The character in question is called Sayuri Otonokoji the Ultimate Sculptor and in Nextgenronpa she’s the child of Hibiki and Iroha. Koroko looking through her medical records noticed her mother’s name is Hibiki Hinata so Hibiki obviously changed her last name, makes sense as she wants to probably be as far away from Otonokoji as possible now but no mention of the father and yes Sayuri looks a lot like Iroha. This has a few possibilities.

The first theory is that Sayuri is Hibiki and Hajime’s child, but both are very busy. Hibiki would have very likely restarted her musical career around this time and we don’t know what Hajime would be doing but he would be very busy as well, and thus not a lot of time to raise Sayuri. Now Iroha would have a very sedimentary lifestyle and given she is looking after Jataro at the moment, this would probably make Iroha one of the more experienced caretakers/mothers of the cast, so maybe Sayuri was often babysat by Iroha, and if Sayuri was spending a lot of time with Iroha at a young age, she would start to view Iroha as a second mother and start copying her behaviour and mannerisms. But that doesn’t evade the fact that Sayuri PHYSICALLY looks like Iroha as well. The second theory is something happens to Hibiki or Hajime and they are unable to reproduce but want kids. With Kyoji, making kids would not be an issue, but a surrogate mother would be required and maybe Iroha volunteered to be a surrogate. However, the big issue there is that Iroha is much younger than the Goodbye Despair cast, and as Mikan later points out legally, you need to be 21 to be eligible. Sayuri looking to be 8-10 years old means Hibiki and Hajime must have banged around now-2014 and Iroha won’t turn 21 until 2017 and Sayuri looks way older than 3-5 years old. But there is one more theory and the one I believe in. Just because Mikako can see the future, doesn’t mean it’s the timeline we are currently on, and you guys remember that awful, awful period during Oncoming Storm when Iroha was crushing on Hajime and wanted to join the Cuddle Puddle despite there being a significant age gap between him and Iroha? In our timeline, Yoruko was able to slap some sense into Hajime, he was able to see he was developing a Saviour’s complex and was able to grow and develop, and it also system shocked Iroha as well as she learnt that she needed to grow up as well. But what if that didn’t happen? I think that timeline is from one when the sense slapping didn’t happen and Iroha did wind up being part of the Cuddle Puddle, and Sayuri was the result of science from Kyoji and Iroha and Hibiki wanting kids. In addition to this we also see Kotoko in her teen years and she looks brilliant all grown up and the way she talked about ‘our mothers’ and Sayuri referring to Kotoko as a big sister, makes one believe that Mikan is successful in adopting Kotoko. Overall, while Sayuri is going to be a headache to decode, that future was nice and sweet, even if it gave Mikako mild seizures.

After Mikako recovered, Yamato wanted to see the future as well, and thus we get the second vision which is from the OG Timeline in 2014, as it shows some Class 79 tomfoolery with Haruhiko ‘testing’ Yamato’s jetpack and crashing into a tree, and Teruya being concerned for his bro. I know its 2014 because Class 79 was formed then and they didn’t bond for long before Utsuro showed up with an army of Monokumas and was like ‘Knock knock, it’s the upupupu train’ and we get the Proto Killing Game. At least Yamato gets to see his future friends for the first time. And Mikako doesn’t get that much of a headache this time so it seems that the further in time she looks, the bigger the side effects. The first vision was a decade into the future so the side effects were quite big but the second one was only a couple of years so the effects were reduced.  It remains uncertain if Mikako has to trust the person in question for the vision link to be done because as much of a force of good this seer ability is, it can also be used for evil. Overall, lots of discoveries on Mikako’s abilities and some hope that not every future out there is filled with despair and there exists a timeline where the Quantum Crew do win. Now it’s a case of seeing if that’s the timeline they are on or not.

That summarizes part 1 with the recapping of minor details and the time travelling science! It’s a longer part then I wanted but with the recap at the beginning it cannot be helped. When we come back, I’ll talk about the Harems and the events surrounding them and hopefully that would be the new length I wish to aim for because this is more of my old length. Stay tuned people! - Review Anon

#danganronpa #a student out of time #submission