#i shouldn't have to say that

[technoturian]

Kaitlyn Dever is an excellent actress but when I saw the casting news I honestly just sighed in defeat.

Even the game creator who championed the very basic idea that women could EXIST outside of a very tiny (literally and figuratively) physical mold still let this happen. She-Hulk, Galadriel, now Abby Anderson.

I'm so tired.

I know the obvious argument. Yes, there's nobody built like Abby who has Dever's acting experience. Because women built like Abby will never have the kind of opportunities Kaitlyn Dever has had. And the few times, the INCREDIBLY few times when there's a woman out there who was BUILT for a role... It goes to a five foot two waif who could've played anyone and will go on to be lead in any other thing where these women will be told they don't fit.

My heart is just breaking for the women who are actresses in their hearts but their bodies make them invisible, even when it comes to playing women who look like them.

#TLoU Critical #HBO TLoU Critical #Abby Anderson #Body Diversity #Representation #this is NOT a knock on the actress and she was amazing in Justified #I shouldn't have to say that #but come on

[whim-prone-pirate]

it's wild that during the siren episode of supernatural they had five separate characters get seduced by one siren and when that SAME SIREN seduces dean as a MAN!!!!! they had him say the word "brother" three times within a minute so that we ALL know HES NOT GAY !!!! NEVER WOULD BE NEVER HAS BEEN !!!!!! lmfao like ok

#sidebar #i do not like wincest #i don't find it enjoyable #but jesus that episode must have been insane for wincesties #a siren seducing dean to kill same so the siren can be his replacement????? #insane #supernatural #dean winchester #sex and violence #bad tag #i shouldn't have to say that #sam winchester

[yourmaineasian]

Not enough of you are held so deeply that you can feel it in your bones

I'm telling ya, physical affection in America is already so fucking weird but like

Anytime I see my friends we hold each other so close and our faces press against each other and it's just the absolute best thing in the world and you are just leaning in each other's space because gravity pulls you together and it's so romantic in the way that it's not

Tldr: Hold your friends as close as you can

#unless it makes you uncomfortable #lol the other my coworker stood next to me #and we just held each other cause it was convenient #my manager saw us hugging and was very offended she was not offered one #but yeah #if youre into it #please just hold your loved ones #its fun and warm #personal #love #physical contact #obv make sure the person consents #i shouldn't have to say that

[whydooldpeopletalk]

Speaking as someone who's been outed many, many times, by both "allies" and homo/transphobes, some of yall are way too comfortable sharing other peoples' queer identities.

"But what if I'm trying to be funny?" Doesn't matter.

"But what if I'm an ally?" Doesn't matter

"But what if the person I'm talking to is an ally?" Doesn't matter.

"But what if I'm queer?" Doesn't matter

"But what if the person I'm talking to is queer?" Doesn't matter.

"But what if the person I'm talking about is a stranger?" Doesn't matter.

"But what if it's really obvious?" First of all, ew. Second of all, Doesn't matter.

"But what if they didn't come out to me, I just figured it out on my own?" Doesn't matter.

"But what if they're getting misgendered?" It's just as easy to say 'actually she's a girl' as it is to say 'actually she's transgender and uses she/her'. If that person is pretransition, it's also easy to just bite your tongue and not say anything.

Unless that person has explicitly given you permission to share that information, you DON'T. No matter how certain you are that everyone is accepting, no matter how noble your intentions, it's not your information to share. Getting clocked sucks, getting outed sucks, and they're both an invasion of privacy no matter who's doing it.

#I told this girl I haven't seen hazbin the other day and she said 'you're gay and autistic how have you NOT seen it?!' and um. #This was in front of other people btw #im not actually gay or autistic either #Anyway. there are some things people say on tumblr that they shouldn't in real life. #lgbtq #gay #lesbian #trans #transgender #queer #bi

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[horsechestnut]

There are so many Dick, Bruce, or Tim kills the Joker fics on AO3, meanwhile Barbara was the one talking about how The Joker should be the exception to the No Kill Rule years before Red Hood Jason even existed.

#joker: last laugh #barbara gordon #oracle #batgirl i #let. barbara. kill. the. joker. #she deserves it #also that's basically exactly what jason says in the red hood movie #(i have not read the comic yet I'm still in 2001) #batfam #batfamily #i read comics #look i'm not saying dick shouldn't be allowed to kill the joker #but right now on ao3 there are more fics where D*NNY PH*NTOM kills the joker #then fics where Barbara does #we should fix that

[uncanny-tranny]

Basically, my philosophy around disability fakers is: I would rather a thousand people fake a disability than have one disabled person suffer without care, aids, compassion, or any help.

#disability #disability advocacy #and there's a difference not many people seem to recognize between faking and realizing you don't have [x] problem... #...such as realizing you don't have [x] disorder because it is instead [y] disorder... #...or you haven't completely understood your care needs/your symptoms/what helps you... #...and some people see ANY change in your understanding of your disability as proof of maliciously faking... #...when i suppose in my personal experience people don't *maliciously* fake disability... #...i'm not saying it could never happen but that i don't think it's the *only* thing motivating people called fakers #i just think (like most everything) this is complex and nuanced because it's a *human* experience #like for me personally i /know/ i still have a lot to learn about my disabilities... #...like... i realized recently that my hands shouldn't be in AGONY when warm water is ran over them when it's SLIGHTLY cold inside or out... #...and i realized that i likely have a Noticable limb difference that needs checking out. does this sound like i'm faking... #...or that maybe i just didn't really explore my own needs and body because of a variety of factors? #i can assure you it is because i haven't really thought before about how i deserved to understand how to best help myself

[jamesbranwen]

this is not me trying to defend nintendo's business practices or say that either of these games don't have flaws, but I think a lot of the comparisons people are making between breath of the wild and tears of the kingdom are a little unfair and don't really take into account that they are different games with different purposes.

"breath of the wild feels so empty compared to tears of the kingdom" ... yeah? with breath of the wild, one of the game's main themes was isolation. you wake up in the future far after the apocalypse you were trying to prevent has already settled. you have no memories, very little strength. just like hyrule, just like zelda, all you have is your will to continue. breath of the wild is the quiet moments, the secret spaces, the weight of the world that has continued to turn without you still resting on your shoulders.

tears of the kingdom is not like that. hyrule is no longer the wild. it is no longer quiet and lonely. there's community. every sidequest is intertwined. your friends fight alongside you. this isn't "fixing" breath of the wild, this is it's natural continuation. as time goes on the world continues to heal and rebuild. if breath of the wild was clawing hope, tears of the kingdom is direct action.

like yeah there are things tears is doing better and (imo) things breath of the wild did better. but i don't think either one is a replacement for the other.

#tloz #breath of the wild #botw #totk #tears of the kingdom #inspired by two posts #one saying tears should have been botw dlc #which i think must have come from someone who hasn't played tears (which is fine) #and the other saying botw shouldn't have existed and they should have just released totk #which i also don't think would be ideal #personally botw is still my favorite game #its really beautiful and emotional #i do understand and agree with a lot of the criticism against it #but i am fond of the slower‚ quieter pace it has #ive never played anything else quite like it #even totk

[petr1kov]

here's the scene i've mentioned before where nemesis and melinoë talk about hypnos, for those who wanted to see it!

#hades 2 #hades game #had to comb through my recording of my playthrough to get it. but it's worth it #there's another scene where nemesis says melinoë shouldn't talk to him because he's not listening #to which she replies that hypnos for sure must have been sensing her thoughts and emotions even in sleep #and nemesis is like oh yeah. getting a feel for other people's thoughts and emotions is sooo hypnos. lol. lmao even #i can't wait for the reveal i want to see how melinoë will react #i might make a compilation of hypnos related scenes for those of you who are also weirdly into the little guy like i am

[z-tomaz]

it also caught me so off guard in episode 1 in particular that the crew clearly knew how much izzy was doing to protect them from ed?? no one's saying it out loud because it won't help but the hug, and the whole scene surrounding it, says they've all quietly been paying attention and worrying about him behind his back and it was a culmination of weeks and months of living like they were while knowing that izzy was bending over backwards to absorb as much of ed's rage and heartbreak and anger as possible in order to shield the rest of them??? help??

#frenchie holding izzy's hand in particular #is an image i can't get out of my head #izzy's not like this! he's not a touchy feely person #he doesn't reach out for comfort #he doesn't confide in them #but they all see the shit that goes on and they all see izzy straighten his shoulders and brace himself for the punches #and he shouldn't have to but he does and it keeps ed away from them but at what fucking cost #and all they can do #after it's finally been voiced aloud #is be there #and give him that moment #and quietly say no. it's not right. #screaming crying throwing up etc etc #our flag means death #our flag means death season 2 #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #izzy hands

[grandwretch]

i so badly want one of those fic examinations of steve's relationship with joyce and hopper but solely through eddie's pov like hear me out

steve and eddie chat a lot in the upside down (and later in the hospital, when they learn hop is alive). steve has taken charge of filling eddie in on the rest of their of-age crew without the kids butting in. he never mentions his own parents, but he talks about the rest of the party's a lot, especially joyce and hopper. eddie knows what it's like to desperately want someone to be your parent and trying to hide it from his own childhood, when he would try to be cool about wayne dropping him off at his dad's house. steve obviously adores joyce and hopper, thinks the world of them and legitimately looks up to them.

eddie isn't sure what he expects from a cop who came back to life and the world's most determined housewife, but he's excited to meet them as someone steve loves.

cue eddie's horror when he realizes that neither of them really feel much for steve rather than annoyance and vague distrust. that joyce trusts will with eddie, an accused murderer, in a heartbeat and still hesitates to leave him with steve. that hopper brushes off every ounce of steve's hero worship and joy.

he tries to broach the topic with steve, gently, and is heartbroken when steve genuinely has no idea what he's talking about. and not because he's oblivious, but because steve thinks that's what he deserves. he thinks that's the parental love that someone who was an asshole in high school needs, because that's what would make him a good person. he needs people to call him out constantly, obviously, because why else would they keep doing it? why would nancy? at least they're here. at least they're not ignoring him. at least they're not forcing him into a box. they just want him to be better.

like, this is the man who thanked a girl for calling him bullshit and telling him she never loved him. he doesn't Know that's not how you're supposed to handle things. no one ever taught him that.

and now eddie's gotta figure out how he can teach steve how to be loved the right way without outing himself and his huge crush on his love-starved dork of a friend.

#shut up az #steddie #i just had the flash of eddie in a hospital bed staring up at hopper and the way he talks to steve in horror #like hopper saying something off the cuff about how he's not surprised there was so much collateral with steve in charge #and eddie thinking about steve always putting himself in harm's way #and the way steve got mauled by bats way before eddie did and then KEPT. GOING. but no one is mentioning that #no one is mentioning that steve was the first one of their group physically hurt by this. #and steve is just nodding like he agrees and eddie doesn't want to be rude bc these ppl are obviously Important to his friends #and then Mike comes in later and says something Mike-y and Eddie snaps at him #then he has to apologize because Mike is a stupid kid who loves Steve in his own way #and Eddie shouldn't blame him for the behavior of adults who should no better just because Mike is an easier target #anyway Eddie doesn't know how to have parents right either so he ropes Jeff and Lucas and Gareth and Robin into OP: Teach Steve Self-Worth

[handmedownpocketpussy]

You know how white people use being scared as a weapon? All those videos of white women saying, "I called the cops because I felt like I was in danger" and how white guys have tiktoks about, "You need at least one semi automatic weapon close at hand at all times to defend your family" kinda shit?

That's what bothers me so much about watching fellow jews acting like just seeing a Palestinian flag or keffiyeh somehow automatically makes a place unsafe.

I mostly see it in US American jews posting about how they feel threatened by a Palestinian flag, or saying that anything referencing not wanting thousands and thousands of Palestinians to die is 'a call for jewish genocide'

Y'all. No. This tells me you have never interacted with a Palestinian or even the Muslim community at large. We diaspora Jews are not the victims here.

Your assimilation has ended on the path of weaponisation of your fears, which is not a great place to be.

If you honestly believe "The only safe place in the world for Jews is Israel" you've bought into someone fearmongering. I'm begging you to investigate why you bought that lie and who is benefiting from you buying it

#I'm tired of thinking i've found jewish community only to find people who are blinded by their unfounded fears and taught to hate #palestinians are our cousins not our enemies #jumblr #i've been blocked a lot so I doubt people who need to read this will see it but I will continue sending this message #is there antisemitism? you bet your ass! #however if you think saying palestinians shouldn't die and should have their state recognised is a antisemitic you've drunk the koolaid

[pherredraws]

from the homumiko mines

#dgs #tgaa #dgs spoilers #tgaa spoilers #homumiko #idk why mikotoba is taller in the kiss. hes on his tiptoes #the first one is inspired by the moment when sholmes puts his hands on ryu's neck so he can feel how cold they are from blood loss lol #anyway i continue to be deeply fascinated with early years homumiko #i feel like my view of their relationship is more slowburn than most #like. they were both not at their best when they met and i can very much see a scenario where they start living together w/out necessarily #liking each other #the last one in based on a line in 1-5 where gregson (?) says that after an hour of blood loss even sholmes piped down or something #which makes me think he would not shut up beforehand. and i think he'd say some stuff He Really Shouldn't Have #but susato wrote it off as delirium + she was too worried abt her dad and messing with the crime scene #que like 5 months later her going .........ohhhhhh #thats not how you write que i think. anyway

[buckysbarnes]

JOE KEERY as STEVE HARRINGTON “dear billy” 4.04 • stranger things

#steve harrington #tvstrangerthings #dailystrangerthings #dailystobin #strangersource #tuserlyn #userallisyn #userspree #usereri #usertiny #usersugar #usermaguire #useraimz #userclara #userraffa #** #*sh #*st #© #i have multiple made posts of steve from this ep #and all i can say is if he didn't want to be giffed this much then he shouldn't look so good in this ep

[redysetdare]

I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

#text #personal #aro #aromantic #aroace #aspec #qpr #queerplatonic relationships #queer platonic relationships #tbh i was around when qprs were still getting footing. ppl werent sure how to properly label them #so to avoid allos saying it's just friends the common response was 'its more than friends but less than romance' #as if they were trying to justify it's existence as if we had to have a equivalent to romance to be justified in our identities and as ppl #because being aro made you not be a person. because how can you be a person if you dont love or have a partner #because being aro was sad because being aro meant ou were alone and you shouldn't want to be alone!! #and these ideas made it so that amatonormativity was just reinforced in aro spaces #and it isn't until recent years when amatonormativity started getting used top put a name to the problem #that i really saw ppl start standing up for aros who didnt partner because why are we expected to partner anyways? #shouldnt ppl be whole as they are? #and this is only my experience im not saying this happens everywhere #but this is why i think we need to have a conversation about QPRs and how they are used in aro spaces #because im not the only one who struggled through this #my experience may not be universal but my experience has happened to others #and thats worth talking about #srry im having a lot of thoughts recently

[uncanny-tranny]

Love disabled people who just lie about their disabilities to nosy, intrusive questions. Sorry, yeah, I lost my arm in the wash one day. It's funny how that happens! Oh, I got back pain from saving nineteen children from a burning fire department <3

#disability #sometimes lying is just. funny. SORRY. #look like... whether you lie about why you're disabled you're still disabled and it shouldn't have to factor into how you're treated... #...if it isn't relevant to your care needs or care plan. #like. if you lost your arm does it matter if you say you lost it in the wash like a sock or tell your actual story... #...like either way you still /do not have an arm/. that doesn't change if you lie or not #anyway. huge defense for a post that probably didn't need said defense #sometimes you just feel like lying in such a grandiose way that people don't know if they SHOULDN'T believe you #i think my lie will be that a powerful necromancer preformed Emergency Bone Shaving on one leg only... #...and he used the bone shavings to raise a skeleton army that looks like My skeleton but only on the legs