#i still cant wrap my head around the fact that he's gone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

markiemelon · 11 months

Note

Heyy!! I really REALLY love your writings!! Could you please write something fluffy for Renjun as well? I'd appreciate that alot! but if you cant its fine too 🫶🫶🫶

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that boy

sorry this took forever (｀_´)ゞ

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♡ rj x fem!reader ♡ school au ♡ classmates to lovers ♡

fluff. no warnings!

renjun was that boy who made your heart do somersaults. renjun was that boy who made you feel like you swallowed a million butterflies.

renjun was that boy you loved.

─ ੈ♡˳

huang renjun was that boy with soft eyes, pretty lips, and a perfect smile. he was that boy you had a couple classes with. that boy who always happened to sit two rows ahead of you, one seat over to the left.

so there you were in your first class, sitting contently throughout the lecture. your mind starts to drift as you observe the boy with his back facing toward you. you couldn't help but notice how neat his notes were and how nice his handwriting was. the lecture ended, urging chaos to erupt in the room. you stay in your seat, as usual, to wait out the stampede of students.

the room cleared to reveal a beige cardigan draped onto the back of a chair. you counted one, two, rows up, and one seat over. it was renjun's. renjun was always one of the first out of the class, so he was probably long gone. you figured you could just take it with you since you would see him in math later, anyway. you picked the soft beige fabric up from the chair and wrapped it over your arm. you headed over to the door but stopped for a second to answer a text on your phone. you didn't pay any notice to a presence entering the room until an abrupt greeting startled you.

"hi.”

you instinctively jerked your head up.

"oh my gosh renjun you scared me." you said, hand to your heart. renjun flashed a smile and pointed his finger to call attention to you holding his cardigan.

"oh." you quickly handed it to renjun. " i was gonna give this-" you could feel your face heating up. "i just thought you had already left so i figured i- but maybe i should have just left it-"

renjun threw his head back in laughter at how flustered you were. "yn it's okay." he interrupted you. "i actually didn't even come here to get this." he smiled. "i came here to leave this paper on the professor's desk. he held up a paper in his hand. "so thanks. i never wouldn’t have noticed i left it here if i hadn't seen you holding it." he giggled through each sentence.

you felt some strange sense of relief wash over you. you started to laugh with him. this situation really shouldn't have been funny enough to make the two of you laugh as hard as you did. but it felt good.

renjun's eyes shifted to look at the clock on the wall behind you. "shoot. class starts in like 4 minutes!" he said as he naturally began to walk backwards, eyes still fixed on the clock. "bye yn. i'll see you in like an hour!" you watched the boy leave your sight, listening to his footsteps growing quieter and quieter.

you've been classmates for a while now, in fact, he was the first person you ever talked to on your first day. both of you had arrived to class too early and made small talk in the hall while you waited to go in. so it's not like the two of you were strangers, but you wished to get to know him more.

a little while later, you went to math. you took your usual seat, looking over to where renjun sits, only to see that someone else had taken his spot. this worried you because that spot was perfect for keeping an eye on him, which was pretty much the only thing you looked forward to when going to math. all the other ‘good’ spots were being taken. you were preparing to have an extremely boring class without having a view of that pretty boy, but finally, that boy you were waiting for walks in the room, scanning around for an open seat. your eyes widened a little once you realized nobody was sitting next to you.

renjun approached you confidently. "guess this is where i’ll have to sit." he smiled.

you don’t know why the thought of sitting next to him excited you so much, but you couldn’t stop smiling. it wouldn’t be so easy to look at him without making it obvious, though.

you stared blankly at the mess of numbers in front of you. you had no idea what any of it meant.

"need some help with that?” renjun leaned over, having noticed your struggles. he was close to you. probably the closest he’s ever been. you got that funny feeling like as if you were on a roller coaster drop. “oh.” you said shyer than before. “yeah.”

renjun rested his elbow on your side of the desk to reach your paper easier. “okay so…” he began to explain to you.

you ignored the little gestures he made to the paper, and how he scribbled some nonsence.

You could only focus on him. the way his voice sounded in spite of his gibberish. the way his hair brushed his skin when he moved. the way his eyes glowed as he thought.

"so, does that make sense?”

everything he just said completely flew over your head, but you responded, nonetheless. “yeah! yes, thanks. that makes so much more sense.” you smiled.

renjun scoffed. “yn, you didn't listen to anything i just said.”

“what?! why would you think that?” you said, avoiding eye contact.

“because i started talking about my grandma’s kiwi allergy and you didn’t notice.”

the bell rung.

“how about we continue this in the library after school?” he said, getting up from his seat. “since it’s the weekend tomorrow, we’ll have more time to work.”

you felt your smile form on your face again, giving renjun the idea that you agreed.

“oh yeah,” he continued. “can i have your number?” he rubbed his forearm. “so i can text you when i get to the library..” he swallowed.

“yes, right. right.” you pulled out your phone quickly, looking a little clumsy while doing it.

he took your phone and you observed his concentrated expression as his thumbs glided across the screen.

after exchanging numbers, you went your separate ways.

you walked away, feeling a little embarrassed. “why do i act so weird around him?” you scolded yourself.

after school hours, you decided to go find renjun. you approached the library, walking alongside a glass portion of the wall, and caught a glimpse of your reflection. you cringed at the sight of your tangled hair.

you glanced at the time on your phone before starting your way back in the same direction you just came from, finding the nearest restroom. you put your bag on the counter, and combed through your hair with your hands, taking another moment to reapply some lip tint.

fixing your posture, you stood tall in your reflection. you smacked your lips together and ruffled your hair before grabbing your bag and speed walking out to the hall.

you approached the library once again, this time, a little more confident.

you walked through the quiet room, the smell of old books and wooden shelves hit you softly. the stillness around you made you self conscious, you could hear your every move. there you saw him, sitting at a desk, his back to you. he was tapping his fingers against his cheek, and seemed to be deep in thought.

you approached him from behind but you almost didn’t want to disrupt his thinking. you wondered what he could possibly be thinking about.

renjun suddenly scooted his chair back as if about to stand up. “when is she gonna be here-” he gasped after seeing you standing right behind him as he turned his head. “holy-” he caught his breath.

“sorry. i didn’t mean to startle you.” you laughed. “and sorry im late…something came up.”

“don’t worry…i hadn’t even noticed you were late…” renjun’s eyes wandered around the room. “uh so…should I help you with that thing from earlier?” he pulled out the chair next to his, gesturing his hand for you to sit.

“yes, thanks.” you sat down. “it’s nice to know that you’re good at math…” you said to break any second of the silence.

“yeah…um, yeah i’m pretty good at math…”

you wondered why he sounded like he was lying, but you brushed it off. renjun seemed to be way more nervous than earlier, unlike the confident renjun you were used to.

“okay this is easy!” he said. “this should be a 2 instead of a 1.” he pointed at the faint pencil on your wrinkled paper.

you thought you had that one right… but without asking many questions, you went along with whatever it was that renjun said.

you worked until the evening, then you decided to finish up.

as you picked up the rest of your things, renjun took off his sweater and draped it over his chair. “won’t you be leaving?”you asked. “why take it off now?”

he looked to you. “oh. i just got really hot…like…right now.”

“oh. okay.” you replied. “well thank you for helping me, renjun.”

“mm.” he nodded, a faint smile in his eyes.

you were hoping to walk out with him, maybe even get him to walk you home, but before you could even swing your backpack over one shoulder, he was off.

“okay bye yn gotta go see you tomorrow!” he blurted as one long word as he rushed out of the library.

“renjun, your sweater!” you did a double take at the chair where it was left. he heard you but he acted like he didn’t. “weird.” you picked up the sweater, just like you had done earlier. right then, you heard a buzz from your phone.

from: huang renjun

hi yn. i left my sweater at the library. do you mind taking it with you???

omg renjun i literally told you that before you ran out!!!

are you free tomorrow? so you can give me my sweater…

yeah im free

can we meet at that cafe by the school? at like noon?

sure

that next morning, you found yourself walking to that cafe. opening the door, you found comfort in the scent of coffee and sweetness.

“renjun!” you called over to him. “here.” you handed him the soft bunch of fabric.

“thanks. sorry to make you come here.” he apologized, though you knew he wasn’t actually sorry.

“oh, i don’t mind…” you shrugged.

“well since we’re already here… do you want to get a coffee or something?” renjun proposed. “sit. ill go get something.”

you sat at one of the smaller tables, while renjun ordered something. you couldn’t stop yourself from staring helplessly at the boy. his beige cardigan complimented his light brown hair. it seemed that every time you saw him, the more you grew to like him. he was cute, well-mannered, funny. you usually tried to shake away these feelings once they started, but today you let them stick around a little longer.

the sight of renjun walking over to you, holding two drinks in either hand, was enough to make you blush.

“here.” he handed a cup to you.

he sat down in the seat across from you, but only for a moment.

“i better get going. something came up.” he got up, just like that, walking past you and out the door.

it happened suddenly, so you didn’t even see him walk out, but you did see, by the time you turned around, his beige sweater in a bunch on the floor.

“that boy…” you mumbled to yourself as you went straight to pick it up and run after him.

that boy was now halfway down the block. “renjun!” you got no response. you ran as quickly as you could. once you got close enough to reach, you tugged on his arm.

he turned around.

you dropped your hands to your knees, gasping for air. “you,” you swallowed, “you dropped this.” holding the cardigan out with one arm, the other still resting on your bent knee. “you know, you’re very clumsy, huang renjun.”

“oh that?” he laughed. “i dropped it on purpose.”

…

“why…. would you do that..” your jaw stayed open.

“so you would come looking for me!” he flashed a bright smile.

his perfect expression distracted you for a second. “you must have a big ego to think i would go out of my way just to give you this.” you shoved the cardigan into renjun’s arms.

“right, because you just full-speed sprinted down this block for fun…” he teased back.

you didn’t really have anything to say so you moved your eyes away from his.

“yn.” he spoke.

“renjun?” you replied.

“why are you so cute?” he asked, well aware of how flustered it would make you.

a sudden warmth overtook your chest. you kept your stare away from renjun, but he kept his on you, not expecting a response. he took in a breath before he spoke. “will you hang out with me today?”

now you fixed your eyes to his. “don’t you have something urgent?”

“i made that up. let’s go.” he grabbed your wrist and pulled you along to wherever he was going.

your feet scooted across the sidewalk as you tried to keep up with his rushing pace. you looked down to see where his hand held your wrist gently. “how could he be so bold?” you thought.

“renjun!” you shouted, seeming a little annoyed. “where are we going?!”

renjun turned his head to you for a moment before facing forward again. “im taking you somewhere special.”

moments later, you arrived in front of a small corner store.

“cmon let’s go inside.” he opened the door and let you walk in before he did.

“so your idea of hanging out is making me run errands with you?” you playfully nudged renjun’s shoulder with yours.

“well if somebody didn’t use every single one of my pages as scrap paper…”

you felt like you were getting closer and closer to renjun, and you felt it happening quickly. you kept surprising yourself with how comfortably you would act around him, and how you could tell he felt more comfortable too. the happiness you felt around him was starting to outweigh the tension you had been feeling.

you and renjun spent the rest of the day walking around the city, browsing boutiques that were way too expensive for both of you combined to afford. you just did normal things, but it felt surreal.

you went to sleep that night, thinking about that boy, continuing your fantasies from where you had left off the night before.

the next morning, you snoozed your alarm a couple times less than usual, motivated by just the thought of that boy.

today after school, the class rankings of the math test scores would be posted. after the bell rang, you found renjun waiting in front of the classroom. “im kind of nervous..” you murmured as you took your place next to him, leaning against the wall. he didn’t seem too confident himself. “me too.” he confessed. you nudged his shoulder after hearing his response. “psh, don’t be. you’ll probably be in first place.”

you had a lot of confidence in him.

a few minutes later, you, renjun, and the rest of the class, stood in front of a long list of names, trying to get a glimpse at their own.

after a moment of squinting, you came across your name. “hey, for out of 53 students, i didn’t do too badly.” your shoulders dropped in relief.

renjun gave you a thumbs up and a big smile that almost looked sarcastic. “good job!”

“well thanks to your help…” you tried to stay modest. “What did you get?” you asked him. “i can’t find your name in the top 10.” you looked further and further down the list.

#53. Huang Renjun

“oh yeah about that…” he tried to get you to look away from the paper. “hey let’s go to the library now!” he changed the subject, and dragged you to the library.

the two of you sat in your usual spots. “so do you need help with anything?” he looked tense.

you weren’t good at math, but you were at least smart enough to realize that renjun wasn’t good at math either.

“renjun.” you turned around to face him.

“hm?” he perked his head up.

“you cant do math either, right?”

he fluttered his eyes. “hm?”

“i saw your score, renjun.”

“oh.”

you couldn’t keep a straight face. “why are you pretending to be good at math?”

he just stayed silent, tracing around the desk with his finger. you were hesitant to ask, but you did anyway, “renjun,” you paused, “do you like me or something?”

his movements froze. “how about i walk you home?” he frantically got his stuff together. “it’s gonna get dark soon so let’s hurry.”

you couldn’t pass up that offer, so you just let him get away with avoiding your question.

he walked you home, and your heart fluttered all the way there. “it’s here.” you slowed your pace as you approached the small stairs in front of the door. you walked up one of the steps before turning around to face the boy who seemed a little shorter all the sudden. “im taller than you!” you giggled.

renjun stood on his tippy toes, bringing his face nearly level to yours. he looked at you. his glossy eyes glimmered with the porch light that automatically turned on.

you leaned back a little, surprised at how close you were to him.

you suddenly felt that shyness that you had almost forgotten the feeling of. “im still taller.” you said.

his concentrated expression turned into a grin. “well good thing im just tall enough.”

“just tall enough for what?” you laughed. “a smurf?”

he couldn’t help but smile as he shook his head gently, careful not to break his eye contact. “no.” he said. “for this.”

and unexpectedly, that boy that stood in front of you. that boy with the sweetest smile and the cutest laugh. that boy you couldn’t stop thinking about. he leaned in. and the closer he got, the more you anticipated his touch. his hand on your cheek. his eyes fixed on your lips; that’s where he placed his own. it was the most perfect match.

you felt only his lips move out of your reach as he stepped up to you. “it’s better if i’m taller, don’t you think?” he laughed before reattaching his lips to yours. your hands made their way to find a place to rest against his chest. you felt his heart push against your palms.

“yn. i dont know if ive made it obvious enough, but i really like you.”

“so you do like me..” your grin stretched from ear to ear.

he didn’t answer. he looked at you and sighed through his forming smile. he reached for your hand to tug you closer. and without a word, your lips reconnected.

you took in everything you could about that moment. you wanted to cherish every feeling of every second you spent with that boy.

that boy who pulled you closer. that boy who held your hand.

renjun, that boy you loved, was now renjun, that boy who loved you.

tysm for requesting i rlly appreciate it ! hope u like it ＾＾

i usually don’t write things this long but idk what happened hhahahhaha

-🍉

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iouinotes · 4 months

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Good gone bad | Corionalus Snow (Part 2)

pairing: Coriolanus Snow x female!reader

movie: Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

genre: dark!character, smut

word count: k

summary: You awake from the illusion, Coryo has put you under. Can you escape him?

a/n: @user90288777 requested a part 2, so here you go :))

read part one here

His body feels so good against mine, rays of sunshine are falling through the window onto our bare skin. I smile dreamily as I feel the warmth on my skin.

My eyes try to look at my surroundings and I do my best to concentrate. With heavy eyelids I see the portraits of the former rulers, look at the high ceiling, the marble floor and the documents infront of me, that are laying on his office desk. But I am unable to read them, the letters blur infront of my eyes.

His fingers are lazily tracing my skin, his lips meet my shoulders and continue to place gentle kisses further towards my neck. I hold my breath, when he brushes some strays of my hair aside, wrapping his arms around my waist to hold me close.

I can't say exactly how long we've been in this position. Me leaning against his back, sitting on his lap, while he radiates with a power, that makes me feel uneasy.

It could be minutes, days, even weeks of being near him, touching him, always staying by bis side.

Every little thought makes my head ache, I cant even remember how long it has been since he visited me in my dorm. Since then, the days have merged into each other, it is impossible to keep track of the time that has passed.

The only thing I noticed, is the repetitive contact with something, that makes me feel like I was trapped in a blizzard at first and then I can suddenly only concentrate on needing Coryo by my side.

Only him and no one else.

When that happens, like a rhythm, I feel myself getting lost in my feelings. No thoughts bother my head, the time disappears again and again infront of my opened eyes, but I am still able to feel the presence of him.

And that is most important, he always reminds me of it. Only him, only me. Only us.

Although I'm not sure, I begin to notice changes in my surroundings. The imperfections on the ground, the bright yellow colour of the wall, the cursive letters on the documents and his pale fingers, with which he holds me in a firm grip against his body.

The warm feeling from earlier melts into a shivering cold, when my eyes finally focus and I am able to actually hold on onto one of my thoughts.

What am I doing here?

Warily I try to catch a glimpse of him, but I can only see blue bruises and red traces of nails on my skin, it makes my heartbeat race in my chest. Even though I try to keep my cool, he notices my unnerved movements.

,,Im trying to focus, sit still." His voice makes my blood run cold.

It takes every ounce of effort in me not to move. To not immediately get up from his lap, to hit his perfect face and then flee hundreds of kilometers - no, to another district to escape him.

His proximity to me is unsettling and his voice so stern, that I don't even dare to breathe out too loud. I am so terrified and have absolutely no idea how to escape from this situation.

He betrayed me. I hear these thoughts loud and clear in my head.

And I loved him.

A numb feeling, similar to the dark void of my childhood, wraps itself around my heart, the grip so tight that it feels like my personal death sentence.

I wanted nothing more in this world, then that my wish would be granted and my love for him would dissolve, like his poison on my skin back in the dorm.

I thought about killing him for a second, to feel the relief of his blood on my hands, that could help me too be free. Then, I knew I would never be that selfish. Because I could never kill him, only to make me feel better.

So, I wanted to focus.

First of all, I have to rely on what I do best. Structured and clear reasoning to develop a plan. So I breathe in with my nose and focus on the facts. With an unobtrusive glance, I look around and notice three things.

Firstly, I am in the president's office.

Secondly (and this makes me freeze for whole 10 minutes, I can see it on the clock on the wall), Coriolanus Snow, my traitorous best friend, is the President of Panem.

Third, I'm sitting on his lap in a gauzy purple dress, he's reviewing documents about the regulation of new laws and I exist silently, doll-like beside him.

I want to cry until the Pacific Ocean seems like a river compared to the amount of tears I've shed. My nerves are on edge and even if I'm trying, I can't concentrate anymore. The only thing I am aware of is what he has done to me.

The night he came to my apartment and begged me to trust him again - he poisoned me.

This cold, liquid happiness that he poured over my skin paralyzed me. The more dials on the clock move forward, the more I realize how much time must have passed in reality. Months, because he is the president of our country, I sit on him as if it were a matter of course and everything becomes progressively more absurd.

I no longer know who I am or how long I've been pretending to be someone else. All I know is that he is to blame and the way he sits here - relaxed - shows that he feels absolutely no remorse. I almost think I'm going to throw up.

And then he moves and I freeze. His hands move to my arms, stroking them and I close my eyes, trying to concentrate on something else. When his voice breaks the silence and I understand the true meaning of his words, I have to suppress tears.

"I wish you would talk to me again. I miss you so much."

And then he is quiet again and silence engulfs us again. I can't believe what I'm hearing from him. And then I want to scream and ask "Then why did you do this to me?", but I stay quiet and even if I wanted to, I probably couldn't say a word.

Because it was all a lie. An illusion, a fake honesty. A dishonest love. And I was stupid enough to believe it. I let him do this to me.

Waves of hatred and sorrow so strong that I would writhe, if his arms weren't wrapped tightly around my waist, embrace me. I have to get out of here, away, away, away, away…

But how? He will notice any inconspicuousness. I know he notices every little detail. For the moment, I have no choice, but to continue pretending to be under this spell, even though it's killing me.

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Another hour passes and I become more and more exhausted from the strain of trying to stay calm. I struggle to keep my eyes open and don't notice how I'm gradually leaning more and more against him. Then I feel his lips on my cheek and goose bumps appear on my skin.

I'm suddenly wide awake.

"You're so good to me, if only you knew how happy it makes me that you're here with me." His words feel like ice splinters, that are stabbed into my heart and my muscles start to ache the more tense I get.

His fingers stroke my thighs, which is made possible by the slit of my dress. As he gets closer and closer to my core, I want to scream.

"I have to say, love. I admire your acting skills. I almost didn't notice that your calmness and submissiveness were faked."

When I try to jump off his lap, he holds me firmly in place in a tight grip.

"Do you know what your behavior over the last three hours has shown me?" He knew, I realize. He knew the whole time.

His fingers stroke my clothed core, sliding up and down, creating a delicious pressure that makes me twitch on his lap.

"It showed me that you can do exactly what I expect, without Dr. Gaul's concoction. I knew you would be perfect as my first lady of Panem." This statement makes me freeze. He quietly laughs.

"Really? So much time to think and you didn't realize that? You're everything I ever wanted. Of course you'll be by my side. No matter how."

To show me how much he already has me under control, he slowly pushes my panties to the side and drags one of his fingers through my wet folds. I'm unable to move, it's as if my body has gone rigid with fear.

"You are so pretty. Every moment I touch you is like the most precious treasure in the world." He is quiet for a moment.

"I had no choice, you would have never agreed willingly."

His words finally make me cry. Even his warmth and the arms he holds around me for support feel more and more like a prison.

"You're crazy - I loved you!" As I break down, my frustration, sadness and anger are clearly evident in my voice.

"I know, love." His fingers brush the tears from my cheeks, his lips leave loving kisses. But to me, everything just feels wrong. I don't want to be near him for another second.

"Then why? Why did you do this to me?" He won't let go of me, no matter how hard I try.

"Because we love each other in a different way. You were ready to let me go." His eyes are starring daggers in my back.

"I, on the other hand, could never let you leave."

Every word feels like a stab into my heart. I'm not sure I'll ever recover from these wounds. Or if he'll let me recover at all.

"And now what? You're going to keep poisoning me for the rest of my life?" I would rather die than live like this. When he shakes his head after a second, I have hope.

"Of course not. This time I want to give you an option. Either you will stay by my side voluntarily or, unfortunately, I will have to force you to. And we've seen how well that works, haven't we?"

I'm shaking, my head feels like it's going to explode any second. "Why won't you let me go? Please, I want to go home."

He turns me in his lap and for the first time I look at his face again. Notice his hair, grown back and neatly trimmed. The blue of his eyes, which doesn't look at me pitying at all. Then his lips, smiling as if he was giving me a present.

"My darling, you're home now. You'll be safe by my side forever. Your family is taken care of, your future is secure. You are now the most respected woman in the country, I have made sure of that. I'll do anything you want."

"You can't keep me here forever." My voice trembles. And when he starts to move his fingers inside me, my knees weaken. His hand holds my face tightly to keep my gaze fixed on him.

"Oh, but I already have." As he gets closer and hits the spot inside me, that makes me see stars, I can't help but moan uncontrollably.

The rustling of his pants resounds in the room and as he lifts me up for a moment and I gather all my strength to get off him, he lets me sink onto his cock. My warmth catches him, I almost fall onto him and feel a pain that quickly changes to pleasure. As he moves my hips up and down a few times, my eyes almost roll back.

"See how well I take care of you? I've already provided for everything. You won't remember, but we've done this so many times that you'll soon have two heartbeats inside you. Trust me."

I cant breathe.

"This world is cruel and covetous and I'm here to protect you from it." His hands grasp my waist.

If only he knew that it was really him, I needed to be saved from.

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x reader #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #x reader

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peabod3 · 1 year

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gn! reader, matty healy x reader, george daniel x reader, implied ross macdonald x reader, implied adam hann x reader, actual smut in this part guys, not too steamy but we are getting there :p

a.n: i made them subby, i have a thing for making men beg ;)

pt1! pt2!

————————————————————————

You and George had bee-lined it off of the stage as soon as the boys’ set was over and you could hear Matty trying desperately to catch up with you.

“Hey- hey guys, fuck! Stop running!”

Laughs rang out behind you, Adam and Ross obviously catching on to your plans for the night.

You could feel the anticipation radiating off of George, his hand in yours buzzing with excited energy. It was a race back to the tour bus, Matty ducking and weaving between crew members trying to catch up with you both but you always stayed a few steps ahead and it was driving him crazy. He had practically thrown his guitar at the stagehand in an effort to catch you both and now all he could do was track your movements via the mop of hair that stood tall above everyone else. God bless George's height. He had started sprinting after you at this point, mind too clouded with need to even register you glancing back at him and beginning to giggle as you tug George along with more force. You reach the bus before him and slam the door shut, but not before he can see you push George onto the pullout in the lounge area.

1- Matty runs up to the door, all he can think about is what you might be doing to George and how blind with jealousy and need it makes him .

2- He twists the handle and hurries inside, shutting the door and taking a deep breath to ground himself.

3- He turns around and lets out a sound so pathetic and hot and full of pure need that he barely registers the fact that it came from him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are lent with your back against the headboard of the pullout bed, legs spread wide and a naked George sat between them. How you got him in this position so quickly is a wonder but Matty’s eyes practically cross as he takes in the sight of his best friends spread out on the bed before him. You, still fully clothed, have one hand on George's face, cupping his jaw, forcing his head straight with a grip that Matty just knows will leave marks. And the other is wrapped around his dick, pumping slowly as you whisper into his ear. George is just as gone as Matty now, eyes fluttering with every word and mouth slack with gasps and moans of pleasure. He is putty in your hands and Matty gets lightheaded with how fast his body reacts to the sight of it. That's when you lock eyes with him and he drops to his knees, palming at his erection with pure desperation. You have given him tunnel vision, he cant hear himself or George but by the smile on your face hes sure hes being far to loud for the thin walls of the tour bus.

“Look at our boy down there George. I didn't even need to tell him to get on his knees but there he is, being such a good boy~, arent you Matty?”

They both let out moans at your words, George's tongue briefly lolling out of his mouth and Matty beginning to clamber onto the bed. You watch him as he gets closer before hardening your gaze and stopping him dead in his tracks, suspended mid air above one of George's knees.

“I said arent you Matty?”

Oh. You had wanted an answer from him. Maybe the whimper he lets out will do? Nope, your staring even harder now. The blood is leaving his head so quickly that the world is beginning to spin.

“I-i am, oh~”

You had done that on purpose. Sunk your fingers into George’s mouth, making him moan and his legs spasm. His left knee had bucked into Mattys crotch and god had it felt good. Matty had become totally shameless, his body moving without a second thought. All he could focus on was the wonderful pressure between his thighs and the way George was hollowing his cheeks around your fingers.

“Aww Matty, why wont you say it? Don't you want to be my good boy? Should I call in the others instead? Mm, think they'll be good boys for me?” No! Don't leave now! He wants to be good! He does, he promises!

“George is my good boy, arent you?” That earns you a whimpering moan from the man in your lap but seeing both of these boys at your mercy has boosted you ego and you want to see how far you can push it. Push them.

Pulling your fingers from his mouth makes George let out a whine that trails off as you grip his jaw again and lean in closer. “Say it baby, tell Matty what you are.” His eyes roll back in his head and his hips buck frantically into your hand. “yes, yes! good boy- i'm your good boy! i am, i am, i promise! good boy for you, ah~” You slide your fingers back into his waiting mouth and he continues moaning around them while you stare at Matty. He's close now, you can tell in the way is eyebrows pull up in the middle and his jaw hangs slightly loose, tongue lolling about as he watches George's dance lustfully around your fingers. You can't have him coming just yet. Not before hes begged for it.

“Now Matty,” you catch his attention, “dont you have something to say?”

#matty healy #george daniel #matty healy x reader #george daniel x reader #the 1975 #matty healy smut #george daniel smut #subby boys for the win <3

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h4venpha · 1 year

Text

isagi mutual pinning drabble/idea i cant get out of my head nor can i write it cause the words are quite literally NOT coming out rn :(

but athletic trainer!reader and isagi the last ones in the clinic and .. mutual pinning sillies... he's walking in like practically drenched in sweat from playing and his navy fringe is sticking to his forehead. he's got this massive smile on his face, because even after a long, hard game, seeing you gives him a new burst of energy.

“Hey…” His Adam's apple bobbing as he pushed down his nervousness seeing you lean against the counter. It wasn’t every day he got the chance to be alone with you. Usually the clinic was loud and filled with sweaty players. But here, just you and him in the quiet room, he suddenly felt very aware of himself. “...Am I the last one here?” Isagi asked as he sat up on one of the exam tables.

“Yeah, actually, I was just about to start cleaning up.” You said and motioned to the messiness around the clinic. The open cabinets and drawers, forgotten sweat towels, quickly melting ice packs, and a pool of some sort of sticky blue substance on the tiled ground.

His eyebrows furrowed lightly. “Oh, sorry then,” he quickly said, suddenly feeling like it was stupid for him to be nervous when clearly you wanted to clean and leave. I’ll be quick, it’s just my-”

“-Your shoulder, right?” You finished for him.

His navy eyes widened. “...Yeah? How did you know?” And suddenly he grabbed the front of his jersey and pulled it up and over his head. Your face quickly reddened and you had to remind yourself that you were an athletic trainer doing your job, and that this wasn’t some sort of cliche romcom. Isagi was just another player on the team and you had to tend to his injuries… except with blood rushing to your face and an unstoppable fluttering feeling in your chest.

and youre prodding your fingers around his shoulder and there's so much heat coming off his body like hes a heating pad or something. and it doesnt help your already-red-hot face. meanwhile isagi is hoping the fact that he jus finished a game is enough of an excuse for his pink cheeks and his heart still beating out of his chest.

youre wrapping his shoulder gently with the athletic tape and wrap and it just feels so?? intimate. like suddenly now that everyone's gone and you two are alone it feels strangely intimate and not something normal between player and athletic trainer. both of your hearts beating and breath stopping short after you finish wrapping him up. (and ofc he doesnt put his jersey back on in hopes to maybe sorta try and impress his crush in any kind of way (its working btw))

and isagi helps you clean up the clinic: putting the extra rolls of athletic wrap back into the cabinets where they belong, and wiping off the exam tables and doing literally anything he can to stay another minute or two with you in the clinic.

when you finish, you and isagi are both standing at the door with your belongings in hand, just kind of.. looking at each other. like so many unspoken words but a mutual understanding of just one more minute. youre admiring his sparkling doe eyes and how he always seems to have a small, sweet smile on his face when hes with you. he's admiring your cheeks and how he so badly wants to pinch them in between his fingers and tell you about how pretty you were. he's clearing his throat and adverting his eyes with a deep blush high on his cheeks as he opens the door for you with a playful bow. before you both part ways with the constant thought of each other lingering in the back of your minds.

#isagi yoichi #bllk #blue lock #isagi x reader #isagi x you #isagi x y/n #blue lock fluff #mutual pinning #isagi fluff #bllk isagi #fluff imagine #h4venpha

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littlemissfasd · 5 months

Text

Not edited, i write this at like 3am and i was sick so..if theres mistakes..shhh.

I look out the window, the rain pouring and smashing against the windows calms me. The storms have been harsher this winter. They've ruined our crops, lucky we had stocked up on canned stuff. I stare out the window for a while before noticing a person stumbling through the farm land, my eyes widen seeing the person's tattoo. "Ellie?" I gasp, i sprint out the door seeing her collapse to the floor "oh my god!" I collapse next to her, placing my hand on her cheek. She's covered in dirt, blood and bruises and she looks exhausted. "I need to get you inside okay?" She lets out a low sound, i wrap my arm around her waist pulling her up to her feet.

"Come on, i got you." I practically drag her up onto the deck, when i feel her entire body weight fall on me i know she's passed out, i groan and drag her onto the couch laying her down "hey, wake up for me love." I say, her eyes flutter open but she cant keep them open.

"Shit.." i whisper "i need you to sit up okay? I need to clean you." She lets out a groan as i pull her up, my heart breaks seeing her so weak. God damnit tommy. I shake my thoughts away knowing it's not fair to blame him. If he had just..let it go. "Arms up." I pull her shirt over her head leaving her only in a bra, she has a large bite mark on her stomach along with scrapes and bruises. "Jesus el.." her eyes open and stare at me "i..im sorry." She whispers, i shake my head.

"Lets get you in the shower okay." She nods and lets me practically drag her into the bathroom. I sit her down on the tiled floor and help her undress, she says nothing the only thing that leaves her mouth is gasps and cries as her entire body aches. I turn on the shower, her head tips back letting the water hit her face. I run my hand through her wet hair, letting the dirt fall to the floor.

She hums quietly as i move the shower head, wiping her neck and chest. "I-it hurts" she whispers, her voice cracking, i nod and gently clean it "I know, i'm sorry. I've got to get you cleaned babe." She coughs, a mix of phlegm and blood lands in her hand, i give her a worried look to which she shakes her head, placing her hand under the water to get rid of the fluids.

I go down, wiping her things and legs, the bruises on her knees are forming in an angry manner "almost done." I say, finishing up. She leans her hands on her knees letting out a shaky breathe, she lets her head fall against my stomach "I'm so sorry" she whispers, i can feel the warm water seeping through my shirt as i run my fingers through her hair.

"Don't apologise el." I let her lean against me, feeling her entire body shake. "I lost my ring." She mumbles, i look down and see she is in fact not wearing her wedding ring. "Its okay, i'm sure we can find another one." I assure her, she looks up at me her eyes are glassy and puffed up from the amount of tears shes cried. "Really?" I smile and cup her cheek "Really."

Her eyes light up slightly, i kneel down and her forehead leans against mine "I shouldn't have gone.." she admits, her voice cracks as the tears try to escape.

"You did what you had to do." I wrap a towel around her, she doesn't seem to notice and stares blankly instead.

"Can we go to bed?" She asks, it almost sounds like a beg. "Yeah of course." I pick her up, she winces as my cold hands hit her warm body. I walk us through the hall and into our bedroom, she leans her head against me "here." I mumble, laying her down on the bed, wrapping her favourite blanket around her.

"Stay..please" she whispers holding onto my wrist, i nod and lay beside her "I'm not going anywhere" my arm wraps around her loosely careful not to hurt her.

"I couldn't do it." She whispers.

"You couldn't..what?" I ask, she lets out a sigh and holds my hand tightly.

"I had her.. i had her right there.. but i..couldn't do it."

Abby is still alive. Her leaving was a meaningless thing. I told her note to go. God damnit tommy. I think.

I let out a sigh and place a kiss on her head.

"It's okay.." is it?

She picked revenge over me. I begged her to stay. Hell i screamed at tommy for putting the idea back in her head.

"You don't have to stay..y'know" her voice is weak, her body tenses slightly.

"You're my wife el. I'm not going to leave you. Not now. Not ever" I move slightly and feel the heat radiating off her "You're burning up." I mumble, moving the blanket off her.

She reaches up, placing her hand on the back of my neck her eyes dart between my lips and my eyes "i love you, y'know that?" I smile "well you married me so i would hope so." She lets out a laugh and leans up placing a gentle kiss on my lips, i pull her up towards me allowing her to deepen the kiss.

Instead, she pulls away looping a few strands of my hair around her bruised hands "I'm sorry..for everything." My eyes soften, my thumb moves back and forth on her bare skim "i know. I know love."

Her eyes harden before she giggles, i give a puzzled look as laughter takes over her "what?" I ask, genuinely confused.

"I'm fully fucking naked." She laughs looking down at her naked body, i giggle with her.

"Eh its a good look on you." I comment, my hands travel up her side forcing a small shiver from her.

"I missed this, i missed you." She admits, blushing slightly as if she's embarrassed. "Promise me you're not mad."

"I'm not mad, love. I mean i was for a while but.. your alive. Your here." My hand intertwines with hers.

A small smile creeps onto her face as she nods slowly.

"So we're okay?" She asks for reassurance.

Instead of answering i slip my ring onto her finger, turning over and wearing my engagement ring instead. She smiles at the gesture, pulling me in for a kiss. This time it was needy and passionate, her hands slip under my shirt, she moans softly as i bite on her lip before pulling away.

"When im healed.. i'm going to fuck the hell out of you." She says point blank making me laugh.

"Well hurry up and heal then, asshole."

#joel miller #the last of us #tlou2 #tlou hbo #ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #tommy miller #apocalypse #wlw love

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a-mag-a-day · 1 year

Text

Hi @barkingcrows sent a long ask and because it's an unsustainable format, I'm posting their ask under the cut

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

HELLO AND WELCOME TO MY FAVOURITE EPISODE! i love you mag85. its not even really the pre- or post- statement that i love (though when jon amends his opening, you can HEAR the 😒 in his voice and its lovely) but its the statement itself. i simply love it So Much. theres something about it that stuck out to me and i dont quite know what

(cont. under cut)

i adore the tone the statement is given in. the statementgiver sounds almost hysterical in a falsely composed manner. think : the narrator of The Tell-Tale Heart. they sound like theyre moments away from begging you to believe them and begging you to tell them you understand. like theyre trying their damnedest to make themself understand just as much as theyre trying to make you understand…… a bit like helen in her first statement, even. but far more gone than her. helen is still holding onto logic as her lifeline, refusing to let go of logic and reason for the sake of staying sane. 85’s statement giver went mad long ago, and doesn’t care about why or how it doesn’t make sense—they just know it doesn’t make sense and there’s nothing more to it. they’re looking back at it all with a “i can’t fucjsking believe this happened to /me/” lens, sort of. i think so, at least

the contradictions are a fun thing. they make the statement stand out and grab your attention back even if youre doing something else while you listen. in order to wrap your head around it, you have to pay attention. It starts out simple, eases you into the senselessness. after all, if it threw you in headfirst then you wouldnt know what to make of the statement. it would make no sense because youre looking at it through the wrong lens, defaulting to applying rules to it that simply dont apply. “Because nonsense is what it is. It is playfully impossible. He cannot be not there. But he is. He was. And so am I. I did not meet him on the staircase as well.” it takes a second for you to make it make sense, but then just trading out every “i did not meet him” for “i did meet him (its just that he was the man that wasnt there)” and suddenly it makes the senselessness make a lot more sense, and puts you into the correct mindset for this episode.

but it only stays simple for a short bit, quickly upping the absurdity more and more until its depicting batshit stuff that you cant even understand by backwards logicing out of it. but by now youve accepted that this statement giver’s story is not one that is meant to make sense, and you can listen to the impossibilities without it breaking your immersion at all. In fact, it enhances it. a fun example of that is: “My father said nothing, as I had taken him up the stairs an hour before, and he now lay dead in his chair, his heart unsuited for the expedition. [...] Eventually, after almost an hour descending the spiral, he keeled over in his seat and lay lifeless. My mother got abruptly to her feet, and told my father that they were leaving. My father got to his feet, and silently followed her out.” its senseless! its plenty comprehensible, but it just doesnt make sense! are the stairs metaphorical or literal? did the dad die in a dream and wake back up? if he died on the stairs, how did he get to the chair? did he die and his corpse got up and walked out? the listener doesnt know! jon sure as hell doesnt know! and i really doubt that even the statement giver knows! its not like theyre there, anyways. no use in figuring out the hows and whats and whys of events when theyre hardly a who or what themself.

i feel like it sort of raises the question of if there was ever a man not there in the first place that the statement giver fell victim to, but that’s the point, isn’t it? there was no one there. “The stairs were real. He wasn’t there, but the stairs were.” note the word choice. ‘real.’ not ‘the stairs were there,’ but that they were real. is it possible to do something like this to yourself? the man who was not there became real as time progressed, yes, but any delusion can become real to someone if they believe it sincerely enough. mix the Literally Supernatural spiral into that and you have one hell of a trip. is it possible to lose yourself in a poem so much that you lose your own self? have you ever considered this statement being largely metaphorical? turned literal only by the spiral finding a new plaything? they say that he did not offer them to join him on the stairs. so is that to say the man who was not there did not offer simply because he was not there, or that the statement giver’s spiral (heh) was self-inflicted? “He didn’t come back until I made… a horrid mistake. I called to him. I stood on the landing and shouted at him to go away. I asked him if he was there. I demanded he show himself. All utterly impossible, of course. I was shouting at nobody but myself, and so it was into my own mind that my curses and pleas burrowed and nested.”

personally, i think it makes for a more interesting statement if it’s litera; there is, in fact; a man who was not there tormenting the statement giver. but for it to be metaphorical would make for a much more interesting question

“I walked and I walked. And then I didn’t walk, and that got me moving much faster.” i just like this line

“He had sworn at me as he tried to climb them to the top, telling me I was no son of his, and I was trying to agree with him, but if I could have done so, then he would have been wrong.” THIS line. if there’s one thing i want you to take away from this rambling essay of a loveletter to mag85 then it’s this line. i want everyone to look at it and just. think about it i guess??? it’s my favourite sentence in this episode. something about it is so interesting and i really don’t know how to put it into words. “I was trying to agree with him, but if I could have done so, then he would have been wrong.” GOD i love that ?!!!??!?? its so good

i love the twist on the poem at the end too. changing it to “i was a man who wasn’t there”

i don’t think enough people talk about just the statement for this episode, so i’ll leave off my thoughts on the post-statement banter. not to mention that this post is already far longer than it should be HAHA. i love georgie and season three is very eventful, but this statement by itself should be highlighted more often when it has such an interesting premise <333

finally, while i’m here: i would absolutely recommend listening to The Man Who Sold The World by David Bowie after listening to this episode. or whatever cover you prefer of the song—i personally enjoy Nirvana’s most. The Man Who Sold The World, just as mag85, was at least in part inspired by the poem Antigonish. (and the timeline would allow for mag85 to potentially be partially inspired by both the poem AND the song, but i don’t believe that is confirmed or denied anywhere.)

it’s a great song and i never have a reason to talk about how this episode was actually the thing that introduced me to the song

thank you for bearing with me as i rambled about the episode i can never find a good reason to ramble about!

#a mag a day #tma #the magnus archives #episode asks #mod ashes #tma spoilers #Mag 85 #Barkingcrows #Please #if your ask runs long #post your thoughts as your own #have a readmore function and tag us!#We don't want to clog up people's feed more than necessary <3

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unfunnyaceartist · 2 months

Note

You were on your phone, bored out of your mind. What else were you supposed to do? It was just a boring day after all.

You decided to just mess around with some AI on character ai, since it’s really fun. Just to flirt, mess with, or genuinely roleplay with them.

Before you knew it, the afternoon has gone by, just giggling at your screen as you messed with the ai, it was a Jax ai, but… not like Jax would mind, right? It’s just a little fun.

You knew Jax wasn’t actually like this, in fact you’d made him, or his ai, into an absolute mess, it was just fun to watch, you only snapped out of it when you heard an “Ehem” and saw a shadow looming over you.

“Shit..” you murmur, looking and making eye contact with Jax, “Uh… sup-?”

“Well well, looks like someone’s in an anti-social mood today. Have you really been hiding up here and texting on your phone all day? Pathetic~” Jax said in a teasing and somewhat cruel manner as he snatched the phone out of your hand.

“Jax—“ he held it over his head, amused at your attempt to grab at it, he just gently pushed you away and went to being full on teasing.

Jax looked at the screen and saw ‘ai’, he smirked smugly, “Wow, really pathetic. You seriously need tt talk to AI just to socialize? Just like crybaby. I wonder if you flirt with them too.” You tried to retort, but he just ignored it, than, his eyes fell into his name on the screen in your most recent messages, he clicked on the most recent message you had, which was very not pg, he went quiet.

You could feel yourself flush, oh god.. oh god he read it and is gonna make fun of you.

“Jax I can explain-“

Jax just scoffed and put his hand down on the desk in front of you, a bit too roughly for your liking, the phone making a soft ‘thump’ as it hit the desk, he was glaring a bit at you. “Do you seriously think I’m gonna let this slide?”

He loomed over, practically cornering you, you couldn’t stop your nervous and somewhat dirty thoughts that were running right now. He grabbed the collar of your shirt with his free hand and tugged you to your feet roughly. “Jax it’s not real-“

Before you could fall over, trying to spill out an excuse so he wouldn’t absolutely tease you and just make your life hell from now on, he pressed you against the wall and growled, “Exactly. It’s not real, so why are you spending so much time on it?”

You flushed immediately, but you couldn’t help it, he had you so fucking close right now, he’s never done this. “It’s just an app, Jax…”

Jax glared a bit down at you, “Than stop spending so much time on a fake.” You slowly realized that he wasn’t mad about you flirting with ‘him’… he was mad that you weren’t spending time with him…? Maybe…? Is that why he was acting like this? That would… actually make sense.

You chuckled softly, “Jax… if you wanted me to spend time with you, you could’ve just said so.”

Jax growled, “I’m just saying, I’m better than hanging out with some mindless software ripoff of me.”

“I’m fine with hanging out, Jax- I… more than fine with it.” Yet again, you had to resist the urge to let out those dirty thoughts.

Jax simply continued to hold your arms, but they were no longer pinned to the wall. He tugged you over to the bed and wrapped his arms around you, plopping down as he nuzzled his face into your neck.

Oh GOD that definitely didn’t help the dirty thoughts, until you realized he wasn’t being rough, just… gentle. Was he trying to cuddle? Okay… that was kind of funny, that he was this needy.

“Pff… can’t believe you’re jealous-“

“Shut up and enjoy it.” Jax huffed, holding you close and seemingly wanting to never let go. You couldn’t help but find it adorable, how needy for attention he was, at least, for you… definitely still that snarky Jax, but it seems like there’s more to him than just being a snarky jerk.

——

Decided to do a somewhat wholesome thing instead of full on like— yk

I STARTED SQUEALLI BBG AND KICKING MY LEGS AND ALSO THREW MY DEVICE IN HUMILIATION /lh HSNGJTHEJDJ I CANT THATS SO CUTE STOP IT I WANT THIS BUNNY ENOUGH AS IS YOURE GONNA MAKE ME DEPENDENT ON HIM

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buffenny · 2 years

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i’ve avoided putting anything on here, on my public accounts because i’m not exactly a public griever. i never will be. i originally wasn’t going to put anything here either, but i think this is the next step in this whole grieving thingy for me.

idec if anyone actually reads this, because this is a comfort for me, plus i don’t think i can stomach not saying anything about someone that meant so much to me despite having never met him. he’s got me through so much. so fucking much.

also before i get into it, i do want to mention that this is very much me rambling and may also come across sort of vent-like.

things were really rough for me last night (as im sure it was for so many other people). i cried for so so long to the point where i couldn’t breathe and the only thing i could feel was the pressure of my headache that had formed, it wasn’t even one of those pounding headaches, it was just constant. honestly i blame it on being dehydrated, L to me for not drinking water ig.

at first i thought it was some kinda of sick joke. about 10 seconds into the video i was actively hoping that it was. i don’t know how to fucking process this or how to properly grieve and i cant even imagine how anyone close to him must be feeling right now. but i bet that they’re fucking proud of him. he’s made such a positive impact on so many fucking people.

he was the first person i watched when i started watching minecrafters again. instantly i grew attached to his content and his personality. the way he interacted with his friends was just so fucking nice to watch. i cant even explain it well because who the fuck actually manages describes complex emotions like this in full??

my first art post on my twitter account was him and my first mcyt post on my instagram account was him. i

remember being fifteen fucking years old, having no friends and no one to even talk to. i remember being the loneliest i had ever been in my entire life, and i remember how much technos content helped me through that.

yesterday, when the video was uploaded to his channel, i cried the hardest i had ever cried in my entire life. i have never dealt with grief like this. i’ve never experienced death. but yesterday, everything felt wrong. nothing felt real, it didn’t feel real. i straight up, could not fucking believe it. i still cant believe it. because it doesn’t feel real. i cant wrap my head around him actually being gone.

and when i say that everything felt wrong, i mean that it felt like i couldn’t do anything. everyone was talking about distractions but i couldn’t distract myself because just the action of doing so felt like i was doing him a disservice. and don’t get me wrong, i know that’s not true, but that’s how it felt. i couldn’t listen to fucking music all day yesterday because the noise was just too loud, and the lights on in my room were too bright so i had to shut them off as well. it all felt so wrong.

today, seeing the rest of the world move on with their lives was so confusing to me. people have been so excited to watch the new stranger things episodes and i just cant. i cant bring myself to do anything like that. anything that i can’t relate back to technoblade i cant distract myself with.

i played a bit of minecraft, i watched some of his old videos, i watched phil’s stream.

it was really nice to laugh with my friends though. i’m glad that i was able to do that today. really fucking glad.

i’ve been spending a lot of time on twitter. right now the whole place is just full of love and support and other people who are grieving just as much as i am and it’s really fucking nice.

i’m kind of scared to post this because i’m not really one for being public with my emotions, and i don’t have anything like this on any of my accounts. also the fact that i know my friends will probably see this. but like i said, it felt wrong not to post anything.

it’s true that i could post something significantly shorter, but i think i’d rather post something that feels more me.

#technoblade fanart

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midnightprelude · 11 months

Text

Major Arcana: The World

Written by @oftachancer and I for the @30daysofdorian event!

Masterpost | First | Previous

CW: conversion therapy (aftermath); successful blood magic ritual; recovering from trauma; adopted children; suggestive content

The ceremonial robes of the Magisterium still seemed strange hanging in Dorian’s bedroom, even weeks after he donned them for the first time. Cleared of any and all trace of the spell that had condemned his father to a life of imprisonment.

Nothing had changed and everything had.

Dorian frowned at his reflection, listening to the sounds of birds chirping gleefully outside of the window.

It was a day he’d spent his whole life preparing for, dreaming of… and yet it paled in comparison to the last two weeks.

He was married. He’d been married, in the Imperial Chantry, by the Divine Himself, to the love of his life. And a few days before that- before the fanfare and lauding bells and fireworks and heavy silk robes - he’d held Rilienus beneath the Maecilia cherry trees and promised him everything.

Everything that Rilienus had carefully retrieved from the Maleficar’s Rishiri arcana until there was no trace of the stranger’s resonance in Dorian’s aura.

All of him.

There had been a sort of softness to reality until those final threads had been dislodged. An acceptance of his state and what he could manage. And when that had gone… Dorian had wept. He’d wept for days. For himself. For Rilienus. For the toll the past months had taken on the twins and Rilienus’ parents and their friends. For his father. For the understanding he wished could have been possible that had always been just out of reach.

And now he was married. And the twins were officially of House Maecilia and Pavus in the ledgers of the Imperium, a fact that didn’t entirely sit comfortably on Dorian’s shoulders. The name. The responsibility. The mantle of the Magisterium. All more stiff and heavy than they’d seemed from the outside.

“Don’t frown,” Rilienus chided quietly, slipping into the waiting room behind him. “You’ll wrinkle.”

“I would never,” Dorian murmured, leaning back as Rilienus wrapped his arms around him. “Let’s stay back here another hour, hm?”

“I’ll tell you what.” Rilienus kissed the side of his neck, adjusting the cant of the mantle. “We’ll go out there. They’ll send that lovely embroidery through this bland silk. And then we can come back here and I will peel you out of every layer.”

“Every single one. Slowly.”

“Of course, slowly. Lingering over each and every tie and fastening.” He nibbled at the back of Dorian’s ear. “Maritus meus.”

The word still sent a wave of warmth through him every time he heard it. He thrilled at his touch, running his hands through Rilienus’ curls. “Or we could stay here and postpone the pomp and circumstance for another day.”

“I want to go home.” Rilienus’ breaths puffed warm against his skin. “I want to go walk through the grounds with the twins and find the site for our house.” He stepped to the side slightly, wrapping his arms around Dorian’s waist. “You’re being Named. It is a good day. Isn’t it?”

“For something I’ve been working towards for my entire life, I feel surprisingly unprepared.” Dorian kissed the crown of his head. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“As am I.” Rilienus rested his fingers over his heart, gazing at them in the mirror. “I’m proud of you, Magister Pavus. Pater is overjoyed that you’ll be able to sit with him. There’s nothing to worry about. You’ll find your footing. You always do.”

“I’m terrified, Ril,” he admitted to his husband, within the circle of his arms. A Pavus doesn’t fear. But that was never true, was it?

“Alright,” Rilienus answered, framing Dorian’s face between his palms. “Tell me.”

“Do you think it will change me?”

“I do.” Rilienus thumbed his cheek. “It’s a lot, after you’ve only just returned to yourself.”

“I don’t want to become him.”

“You won’t.” He was a boulder in a thunderstorm, sure and implacable. “You are brave. You are powerful. You are exceptionally handsome.” Rilienus kissed him warmly. “There is nothing that could make you become him, Dorian. Not even Rishiri arcana.”

Dorian kissed him again, sighing against his lips. The silk of his stoll was soft and still smooth under his fingertips. “I’m looking forward to sitting with your father, too. I hope we can do some good for our poor, Blighted country.”

“Now, now. No Blights up here.” He nibbled Dorian’s lip. “You will do wonderful things. You were always going to do incredible things.”

“I love you,” Dorian murmured, pressing their foreheads together. “I adore you. What about after you ravage me in my office, we take a trip to Antiva for a couple of weeks?”

“Oh?” Rilienus smiled, nuzzling him. “Magisterial duties?” he asked, teasing, his palms sliding up Dorian’s back. “Inspecting the wine stores?”

“Marital duties,” Dorian disagreed softly. “We did discuss a honeymoon before Radonis swept in and made a show of our nuptials.”

“We did. You were going to come to Rivain with me. Meet Talia.” Rilienus kissed his cheek. “We can swing by on the way home.”

“I’d love that. With the twins?”

“Oh, you want to bring the twins to Antiva?” Rilienus asked, leaning back an inch. “I suppose we could. There would be more clothes on you.”

“Hm…” Dorian traced a line down his chest. “Perhaps we should find a governess to watch them while we’re otherwise occupied.”

“A governess like my mother and the tutor we’ve yet to hire?” Rilienus inquired, sighing, his breath growing quick at Dorian’s touch. “Who will stay with them here.”

“Maybe when they’re older, then,” Dorian chuckled, tracing his jaw with his lips. “This particular trip can be just for us.”

His head tilted back on a deeper sigh. “It’s been a long time since we’ve had something just for us.”

“It has been.” Dorian kissed his knuckles. “Then let me go start my reign and we can begin the rest of our lives.”

“Your reign.” Rilienus thumbed his chin, then his lips, brushing the digit into Dorian’s mouth. “Your reign over me has been strong for several years now, my liege.” He rubbed their cheeks together, humming low, sliding his thumb back and forth, tasting of yuzu, then stepped back and adjusted Dorian’s robes as a bell tolled. “It’s time.”

Dorian exhaled slowly, smiling back at Rilienus, focusing on the thought of eating sliced mango from his abdomen as opposed to facing the entire Magisterium and accepting his birthright.

Step by step, he strode across the chamber floor he’d attended with his father when he was a boy and Alexius when he was a man. The two men he’d loved as fathers, both out of reach.

Walking on the careful, shifting mosaics felt different as a Magister. Heavier. He was to be a shining light for all of the Imperium, to serve for the good of its people. He never had imagined he’d have the chance, nor that he’d do so with the support of so many people who loved him. He caught the gaze of his friends, already sitting in their seats: Maevaris Tilani, resplendent; Felix Alexius, sitting his father’s seat in absentia; Marius Maecilia, peering at him with eyes that seemed suspiciously shining. He stood before them all, watching silk strands slither through the air and embroider themselves in a design that mixed the ancient seal of his house with his own. Colors, where his father’s had been pure gold.

He met Rilienus’ eyes across the room, dipping his head with a smile. It was theirs, this seat, hard won and dearly protected. It would be their children’s after they were gone. One day, hopefully far, far in the future, Rilienus would stand where he did now and Dorian would watch him ascend, too.

To work towards a world where people like them wouldn’t need to work so damned hard just to be treated like humans. Where the unconditional love the Maecilias had shown for their son was the norm, not the exception.

Dorian bowed to the Archon, deeply, accepting his robes and the responsibilities of his office, rising only when he heard the roar of applause from around him.

It had been the last order of business for the day. A gathering of Houses, ancient and new. There was little time for celebration. There was the work of the seat ahead of them. Strangers who suddenly spoke to Dorian as though they were old friends, already setting business before him.

He watched the Archon summon Rilienus from the back of the hall with a flick of his hand and saw them disappear into a chamber beside the main hall as Dorian’s hand was shaken or filled with scrolls or notes. When Rilienus emerged a few minutes later, his lazy, proud smile was gone.

“Thank you very much,” Dorian demurred, shaking hands with Linus Volantium. “I look forward to working with you on the naval project, but I’m afraid I’ll need to read the contents of your proposal and I promised my husband I’d find him after the ceremony.”

“When the Magisterium reconvenes then,” Volantium huffed, brusque. “If we last that long.”

Rilienus met his eyes across the chambers and then tucked his hands into his robes and set off in the direction of Dorian’s new office.

Dorian wove his way through the crowd, but it took ages to make it to the other side. As soon as he broke free of the onslaught, he took off after him at a light jog.

Rilienus was waiting for him at the door of the office, arms crossed. “Well?” he asked, sounding a little breathless despite standing still. A little pitched, like when he was answering Bella’s excitement and trying to calm her down. “Big day. You looked good up there. In there. You belong.”

“…what is it, amatus?” Dorian asked, wrapping his arms around his waist. “You look as though you’ve found a bee in your boot.”

“I’m going to need your help. Talking to Felix.” Rilienus touched the wards on the door, unlocking various mechanisms and traps, and ushered Dorian inside, shutting it behind them. “They’ve located Gereon.”

“…where is he?”

“Somewhere called Redcliffe. In Ferelden, of all the godsforsaken places.” Rilienus grimaced. “And it seems… it seems Ferelden is… The word is that the Veil seems to have… torn. It isn’t rumor. It’s true.”

“Pardon?” Dorian blinked. That was impossible. It wasn’t supposed to happen. But even so, they’d noticed some of their devices acting strangely in the past several weeks. “What does- Radonis can’t be thinking of sending you.” Dorian winced. “He is, isn’t he?”

“Not exactly.” Rilienus tongued his teeth. “He wants to send us.” He frowned. “The spies he sends to speak with Gereon, or get close enough to see what he’s doing there, keep disappearing.”

“Us.” Dorian wrinkled his nose, the dream of beaches and Rilienus stretched out naked on them slipping between his fingers like grains of sand. “To Ferelden.”

“His radiance is of the opinion that you will be able to reach Gereon. And that between the two of us, we will be able to gather more information about the disturbance with the Veil. The Maker only knows what they’ve done to it.” Rilienus took his hand. “I don’t particularly adore the idea either. At least we will be together.”

“This does not count as our honeymoon.”

“Of course not,” he agreed readily.

Dorian squeezed his hand, bringing it up to his lips. “When do we leave?”

“As soon as possible. I explained we still needed to hire a tutor.” Rilienus shook his head. “And we’ll need to take a ship across the Waking Sea. So. Definitely not a honeymoon.”

“Vishante kaffas,” Dorian groaned, massaging his temples. “I will take you to Antiva. I will make love to you in a cabana for at least three weeks.”

“That’s the spirit.” He leaned up to press a kiss to Dorian’s forehead. “Just one way. Once I’ve found a safe place for an end port, we’ll be able to bend the space on the way back.”

“I’m dreadful on boats,” Dorian mumbled. “I’m not sure our vows will last through weeks of seasickness.”

“Darling, there is nothing that can dampen my vows to you. You’re mine. No sea swell will take you from me.”

“I’ll remind you of that when I’m green and groaning,” Dorian sighed, leaning into his arms. “Let’s go home. I’d like to enjoy you on land for as long as I can get away with.”

#dorian pavus #rilienus maecilia #dorian x rilienus #dragon age fanfiction #30daysofdorian #midnight writes #oftachancer writes #major arcana fic

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vigilvntes · 1 year

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Liz!! I’ve been thinking about being Chris’ on again off again (ex) wife and being in his trailer at the start of the show (maybe showering, if you wanna be a lil spicy) and being like oh, you’re back?

(In my mind, I also get to punch his dad)

WAKEJAISJAJSJSISJSJSJS HELLO!!!! i was drunk at work when you sent this and i KNOW i'm late but OH BOY. I WAS LOSING MY MIND OVER THIS. LIKE FULLY. SCREAMING INSIDE. sorry this is messy and totally not coherent and i think i have too many thoughts for this and i can't articulate them very well help (also this was supposed to be posted like. a while ago but turns out i saved it to my drafts instead of posting and i've only just realised so hello)

no but this is such a fun dynamic. like i can imagine they're high school sweethearts who were always kinda on and off and they just kinda got married on a whim like no thought went into it. and being married to peacemaker pre-show events would be HARD. not only is he a literal murderer, but he has a racist white supremacist dad who's always encouraging him to be more like him and he's so dedicated to his mission to bring "peace" that you probably saw his face on the news and on wanted posters more than you did in person. so when he gets sent to prison it's like, the perfect opportunity to get out of the marriage and TRY to move on with your life.

but that's hard, because you were married to peacemaker. no one wants to give a job or an apartment to someone who married and stayed married to a murderer who was tried for WAR CRIMES. so you just... stay living in the trailer. the bills are still being paid from his account and all your stuff is there anyway so why move out????

when he gets back you're in the shower, and you hear the door open but honestly you've already heard that he's back in evergreen (maybe emilia contacted you to give you a heads up to keep him at the trailer because they're coming to talk to him) so you just kinda assume that it's him??? he'd be banging on the bathroom door demanding to know who's been living in his apartment and who's been cleaning it and tidying it and keeping the fridge full while he's been gone and you'd just groan and roll your eyes, getting out of the shower and shouting for him to give you a fucking MINUTE while you dry off. you open the door in your towel and his jaw fucking DROPS. because let's be honest, this man has been in prison for like four years at this point and a. he didn't think he'd ever see you again and b. you look so fucking hot standing there with only a towel wrapped around you. and you're just like "oh hey." cue the mini breakdown about why you're still living here and his finances and how he feels so betrayed that you divorced him the second things got tough even though he was literally in PRISON!

so the whole thing with flag changed him as a person, he killed a comrade and a friend in his stupid mission for peace and he knows it was wrong and yeah. it changed him. he wants better things for himself even if he's not so willing to admit it at first. you're living at the trailer still throughout the events of the show because . hello. no where else to go. having you around would drive him CRAZY because you're his ex wife and you're just sauntering around in your underwear and in his clothes and you're so close to him but still SO far away. he cant touch you like he used to or be close with you like he used to be so he's just. ugh. yeah. going insane. and he realises how much he's missed you. like when he found out you wanted a divorce he was in prison so like, yeah. WHATEVER. he probably wont see you again anhway so why the fuck would he care?? *bursts into tears as soon as he gets back to his cell*. so yeah. having you around is hard because not only is he dealing with feeling like you abandoned him (even though it's his own fault) he's also dealing with the fact that he never stopped loving you.

but you really see this change in him as things progress. you see his vulnerability and how broken he really is and how much he needs someone like you to keep him grounded. he always has needed you. yeah he's still cocky and kind of an asshole but he's definitely DIFFERENT. more like the man you knew before the whole peacemaker thing began and less like the man he became after. i think it'd be the perfect opportunity for you to fall in love with him all over again?? like he comes home after a long day with the team and all he wants to do is have a beer with you and talk about anything and everything and it feels just like it did when you were in high school. it actually feels NORMAL and RIGHT and you can laugh and joke with him and just BE. it's NICE. really nice. of course there's the nights where you have to talk him through panic attacks and deal with his nightmares about what happened in corto maltese. deep talks about the divorce and everything that happened before and he'd probably confide in you that he does genuinely all the things he said and did before he went to prison, and that if he knew what he was doing would end in him losing you then maybe he'd have reconsidered (just maybe. because. bro was deep in it).

and like being so worried about him when you hear about what happened with the butterflies and rushing into his hospital room and kissing him right then and there because you're scared and he's trying to assure you that he's fine but he could've DIED and you can't lose him again, not now. not after you've just got him back.

also i feel like you'd make good friends with vigilante while he's gone. like you cannot convince me that guy wasn't constantly checking on you while chris was gone, even after the divorce like he'd be turning up at the trailer to a. see how things are going and b. check if chris is back yet (with the mask on, obviously). and you'd promise to call him when chris is back in town. so when he turns up at the trailer and you and vig are talking like old friends chris is like wait what??? why are you two so friendly??? did you fuck my ex wife while i was gone??? and he's like NO DUDE THAT'S YOUR EX WIFE! (he's loyal like that). and like. you siding with vigilante when he and chris bicker would wind chris up to NO END ("you're supposed to be my ex wife? why do you NEVER take my side?" "EX wife chris. EX.")

#everyone be quiet liz is speaking

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jimblejamblewritings · 2 years

Text

changes hurt | part 2.

Summary: (Y/N) has always been one of the stronger Alphas. Which is saying something when the Avengers is a team overrun with Alphas. A mission gone wrong changes her entire world and when everyone starts treating her different, she doesn’t know if she can cope. Change hurts and (Y/N)’s not sure it’s a pain she cant bear.

Warnings for the Series: strong language, angst, fluff, assault, a/b/o dynamics, sexual content (not sure if there will be smut or just talks, leaning more to just talks but since I don’t know, let’s just say 18+ readers only)

Pairing: Steve x black!reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

“That mine?”

You jumped at the sound of Steve’s voice making him smirk at the fact he actually startled you. The entrance to the duplex suite you had was on the floor with Steve and Sam’s rooms. It was late enough when you came back, almost all the lights in the tower were off, that you thought no one would be up. He had only been up to grab some water. A huff sounded from behind Steve and you rolled your eyes. Sharon was clearly still there and not pleased at your sudden scent that invaded past the open doorway and into his room.

She got up and stood behind him, wrapped in just a sheet. You were on suppressants and had just come from satisfying your rut with a very nice Omega but the scent of what Steve and Sharon had been doing all night was beginning to start yours up again. Some sweat beaded on your forehead.

The two other Alphas watched the sweat with intensity and two separate emotions. Sharon felt her rut start up again filled with pure spite as her eyes narrowed at you. Steve felt his come back but his eyes weren’t narrowed at all. Instead, fully dilated pupils followed the sweat down the side of your face and neck disappearing behind his leather jacket that didn’t smell right. He growled, sniffing the air again to see if he could identify the presentation of the mysterious stranger.

“You let an Omega rub his scent all over my shit?”

From behind him Sharon scoffed on his behalf. You crossed your arms, not appreciating her input.

“Needed my little problem solved, found a willing body. Didn’t mean to get it on your jacket, Stevie, my bad,” you said, nonchalantly.

“What did you do, let him fuck you in it?”

That accusation caused you to growl. You stepped up to Steve, invading the barrier of the doorway.

“Let’s get this clear I would never do that to you. I respect you too much as our team captain and another Alpha and my friend. I didn’t mean to let some nobody, especially a random Omega we don’t know try to mark your stuff. He probably took it when I wasn’t paying attention, make a little quick nest.”

“I wa—”

You didn’t give him the chance to apologize.

“It’s late, all three of us are still in rut. I’m calling it up to on edge nerves. Water under the bridge. I’ll let you two finish fucking. Your stink is trying to rile me up again, I’ll give the jacket back when the scent is gone. Don’t forget, we meet on the helipad at 10 for the mission.”

Steve grabbed your arm to stop you. Sharon immediately had a hand on his shoulder. He looked at his hand and then your eyes.

“I didn’t mean for the last part to come out like that, it was meant to be a joke. I know it was an accident. I respect you too.”

“Ok, I still think we should rest. Rut still blew it out of proportions. Goodnight, Stevie. Sharon.”

“Night, doll,” Steve said much to Sharon’s annoyance while she muttered a goodnight.

You continued down your intended path to your room and up the stairs to the bed and bathroom area. Stripping off your clothes, you stepped into your shower. You didn’t shower at the Omega’s place, not wanting him to get some idea that you were considering him as a claim by sticking around past the sex. Once you smelled only like you, you slipped on underwear and headed to bed.

At the last minute, you reached for the jacket thrown at the edge of your bed. The quickest way to get rid of scents was to replace them instead of waiting for them to fade away. It was accident but you still felt bad and wanted to fix it for him. You shrugged on Steve’s jacket to replace the Omega’s scent with yours which you knew he could tolerate more. It wasn’t the best sleeping material but because of how worn it was, the leather was comfortable enough to wrap yourself in and fall asleep.

Late morning came and you stretched with a complaint to FRIDAY— the AI greeting you back as she turned on the lights in your room. You buried your nose in the leather jacket and took a deep inhale. It mainly smelled like you but there was still the linger of the guy from last night. It would take one or two more nights to get rid of. You shoved the jacket in between the clothes in your closet, hoping that would help since you couldn’t exactly wear it on a mission.

You tugged at your suit and met everyone on the helipad where the quinjet was up and running, waiting for everyone. Tony handed you the new bo staff before walking into the jet and sitting at the driver’s seat. You threw it up in the air and caught it, the weight making your hand drop more than normal. Your palms glowed a bright red and slowly the staff did as well. The minute you stopped, the glowing did as well and the staff stayed intact. Knocking the staff against Steve’s shield that was sitting on a seat, you smiled hearing the sharp clanking noise. The staff was vibranium, it had to be. Hopefully it would be the end to you having to get a new weapon every other mission.

The rest of the team piled in, Peter smiling at you and giving you a hug in thanks that he was on the mission. The team chuckled, he was like a little brother to you. Clint once tried to say he was your child but was swiftly met with a boot to the chest as you told him not to accidentally curse you with kids before you were ready or wanted them. The jet ride was silent. Not uncommon when a mission came after most of the team had been in some form of rut or heat. No one liked to talk because they were tired and opted to take the concentration they had to focus on the mission.

You decided on teams for once you got deep inside the base and snuck into the old castle. You grumbled that if it wasn’t the enemy that killed you it would be the falling rocks from the ceiling of the dilapidated structure— the comment making the rest of the tired team smile.

“One of you smells,” Steve and Bucky said at the same time.

The entire team stopped and did a test. You shook your head.

“This might be your supersoldier senses, no one else smells. Everyone took the shot before we left.”

The shot was a masker engineered by Bruce and used by most intelligence agencies either using his formula or a replica once they learned they could make their own. It never lasted long and was carefully tracked but it masked scents from wafting too far past a person, making spies able to do their jobs properly.

“One more check, to be safe,” Steve said.

Everyone sniffed again. Peter stiffened beside you.

“It’s not us,” he whispered.

Bucky and Steve took over completely and worked to find how far the scent was from where you guys actually were standing. The supersoldiers returned with a new plan and new teams. Stepping up to the plate, Tony took Peter under his wing to head down the south hall. You were with Bruce, one slap to his bicep with your heated up hand and Hulk would activate no problem. Nat and Clint were paired up along with Vision and Wanda. Steve, Sam, and Bucky were the famed trio to no one’s surprise.

This mission was worth going in standard teams you guys knew worked. With a final look at everyone, Steve nodded and you all split— turning on the comms and walking with a new alertness. The fighting sounded through your ear piece. You and Bruce looked at each other, it was coming from Nat and Clint. They couldn’t get you an exact location in reference to them. You whisper-yelled for Sam in your comm.

“Can Redwing get Bruce and I to you guys?”

“On it, give me a minute… stairwell straight ahead and go to the right. We’re… three flights down.”

You and Bruce started to book it. The team needed all the help they could get. You narrowly avoided getting hit by a guard that just got knocked out from Steve’s shield. Heating up your palm, you slapped Bruce and Hulk roared to life. Your staff got hotter and hotter until it was bright red. Men screamed as the staff burned them and you spun it with expertise.

“You’ll never get it,” one man said.

He was dressed differently than the others and you knew he was in charge. A beaker was in his hand.

“You’re the only one still standing,” Nat said as she slowly inched to him.

He held the glass with little regard and they couldn’t risk it spilling by ambushing him.

“And this is the only formula successfully completed. I can tell when I have lost a battle… but a battle isn’t war. Think quickly.”

He threw the glass. Everyone watched in horror and screamed for someone to grab it. You were the closest and without thinking dove for the glass— hands still red hot from fighting. The beaker burst in your hands, cutting the skin and causing the substance to seep into the wounds.

“Shit!” you yelled.

“Bruce, get her back to the tower and into medical now. Tell Rhodey to send us a second jet,” Steve commanded. “Everyone else clean sweep the place, we need to find files or something.”

Your hand started to burn before going numb. Bruce, no longer in Hulk form, rushed you back to the quinjet. Your whole body had started to go numb and Bruce worried it was going into shock. Dr. Cho was already waiting with a gurney to take you into the private wing reserved for the Avengers team. The last thing you remembered was Bruce saying everything was going to be okay before the anesthesia or poison, you weren’t sure which, took over and you went unconscious.

Dry. Your throat felt very dry when you woke up. The coughing startled Bruce who had been sleeping in the chair next to your hospital bed. He rushed to grab you water and held the cup up to your lips as you drank. He set the cup down and moved from the chair to sitting on the edge of your bed.

“How are you?”

“I feel like I got hit but a goddamn bus, Bruce.”

He chuckled. “At least that mouth of yours hasn’t lost any bite… (Y/N), there’s a problem.”

“Yeah, I almost died.”

“No, but you might wish you did.”

You raised an eyebrow. “What the hell do you mean?”

“I want you to know, before I say anything, no one else knows but you and me. I was the only one that studied the compound of the substance. And aside from Dr. Cho, no one else worked on you. She only pulled out the glass and helped drain the wound.”

You looked down at your left hand. It wasn’t damaged but you could see where there was a cyst that must have been drained.

“And no one else has been allowed in here but me. You’ve been out for a week.”

“A week?! Bruce what the hell?”

“The substance they were working on was a changing component.”

“Change how?”

“Presentation. It’s meant to mutate presentation cells… you’re no longer an Alpha.”

You shook your head. “Brucey this isn’t funny.”

“I’m not joking. The cells were either destroyed or mutated into Omega cells.”

“You’re lying! You’re fucking lying to me!” You screamed before Bruce slapped a hand over your mouth.

“If you don’t shut up, someone’s going to barge through that door and smell it on you.”

He tilted his head to the frosty glass windows. You could see outlines and shadows of the entire team on the other side. Three heads moved slightly and you stilled— obviously Peter, Steve, and Bucky could hear the movement. You looked Bruce in the eye and nodded slowly in indication that you wouldn’t shout. Bruce handed you the file and talked as you flipped through it.

“I’ve destroyed all the files but one locked in my nesting stuff, not even Nat is allowed to touch that box. This isn’t on your medical record either. I’m going to lock this up with the file as well when you’re done reading it.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

Bruce poured you another glass of water.

“That’s why I destroyed everything. I know this can’t be easy but it’s still your decision, (Y/N). Alpha?” Bruce asked gently when you seemed to stare into space.

You almost recoiled, the word seemed to scorn you as you looked at the file that said otherwise.

“How long can I hide it?”

“They’ll know the minute you change clothes. Roseanne gave me a jacket, said it would help… I lied, I told her. Three of us know.”

“It’s okay, I trust Rose.”

You sniffed the jacket, it smelled strongly of Steve. Enough to mask whatever scent you might be giving off— you refused to sniff your own skin, afraid of the truth. But it didn’t take a smell for you to know that something had changed. You found yourself melting into the jacket in attempts to bury yourself in it.

“The maskers,” you said with delight thinking of the pre-mission shots.

“Are highly monitored by the system to stay within the intelligence community.”

“Bruce, please. I can’t be this. My nature got changed by force. This new one is not mine.”

“I can possibly fake the numbers.”

You shot over to give him a hug. Bruce set you back.

“You’re on these for the rest of your life you know. Or at least until I can try to change you back. But if I can’t,” he faltered.

“I understand.”

“Okay, I’ll bring you the first batch of injections after dinner. Don’t shower before then and keep that jacket on you.”

You nodded seriously and Bruce helped you out the bed. You were forever grateful to the good scientist. The team rushed you when you stepped out of the room and you froze up in fear.

“Back off guys, she just woke up,” Bruce came to your rescue.

They all suddenly apologized and gave you space. You secretively sniffed the air as the team talked about the bullshit lie Bruce told them about the serum that got you— you could only smell the jacket and hints of every other team member. You walked into the elevator and tapped your foot nervously as it slowly made its way up to the residential floors. You forced yourself to stop tapping, not willing to give in to the nervousness of the Omega cells trying to take over.

Dinner was a tense affair on your part and you only breathed when Bruce finally knocked on your door to deliver the masker injections. He patted an extra box on top of the injections informing you that he had gotten himself a prescription for Omega suppressants for you to use. You couldn’t thank him enough. You showered and sat on the edge of your tub.

Normally you were wild with the injections, everyone was. But now you wanted to make sure that it was perfect, that every drop entered your bloodstream. You pulled the band tight around your thigh, holding it taut between your teeth until the faintest semblance of a vein appeared. Carefully— and rather painfully because of the slow speed— you sunk the syringe into your thigh and pushed the top of it until all of the injection was gone.

You took a tentative sniff. Nothing. Opening the box, you ripped one of the pills from the package and chewed it harshly. You grabbed underwear, ready to slip into bed when you thought about pajamas. If you had put on more clothes that smelled like you— Alpha you— then maybe it would help. Instead of grabbing fresh clothes, you reached into your laundry basket to pull out pajamas. They absolutely reeked of your scent and you smiled. It would probably mean you could never wash your clothes again but as long as you didn’t spill something on it, you would be fine, you hoped.

It was hard to fall asleep at first. You tossed and turned in attempts to figure out why, eventually sitting up straight. The second laundry basket stared at you. It smelled like all your teammates and too many pieces were invading your personal space. It was uncomfortable. Grabbing the basket, you tossed any other stray pieces from the other team members into the basket and headed out on your mission to return their stuff.

Thor and Clint weren’t there so you left the piles at the door. Tony and Pepper didn’t even question the return. Wanda was just grateful to have her sweater back and you laughed when she got mad that it had some of your smell on it. She jokingly glared before digging out Vision’s stuff and giving you a hug goodnight. Bruce answered the door to his suite and with an understanding face took his, Nat, and Bucky’s stuff from you without a word. You returned to your floor to give the last bit of clothes. Sam didn’t complain that his shirts smelled a bit like you and threw the clothes behind him without a care. He was telling you funny stories about the week you missed making you laugh. The next door swung open and Steve walked over.

“Heard you were giving back our stuff,” he said with a chuckle. “Can I get that one shirt back? You’ve had for like two weeks.”

“Your too tight shirts? I’m doing you a favor.”

Sam snorted at your retort and Steve rolled his eyes as he reached into the basket and started grabbing his clothes. His pile and Sam’s piles were significantly bigger than the others. You couldn’t help but growl when his hand went to touch the large silk scarf. The growl was Alpha but the reason behind it was pure Omega which only made your growl harsher from your frustration at that.

“What? It’s mine.”

“You don’t even wear it.”

“Tony makes me wear it sometimes at those events.”

“I use it to tie my hair at night.”

You ripped the scarf back from Steve’s hand and dropped it in the basket. He looked down in some surprise at the fury with which you grabbed it. His fingers reached for other pieces and your eyes watched his movements like a hawk. Anytime you growled, Steve’s fingers would drop the fabric and just grab something else. He grabbed his leather jacket. You growled, expecting him to drop it. Steve only gripped it tighter.

“No, I’m not letting you have this one.”

The snarling started and it was another stare-off— only Steve meant it in jest and you were being serious with him for once.

“Stand down,” he said.

“No.”

“It’s my jacket.”

“I wear it better.”

“I don’t usually do this but Stand. Down.”

Steve used the Alpha command and your eyes tore from his gaze. He thought it was because he won, you knew it was because you were smothering a whimper and hoping it died before it escaped your lips. Sam cleared his throat.

“If you two are gonna bang, not outside my door please.”

That snapped you both out of it. Steve added his jacket to the pile in his arms and you bit back a whine. Steve shook his head.

“Thought the rut was over,” he said like it meant nothing.

Steve’s nose upturned. His eyes moved slightly past Sam’s door, not able to actually see inside.

“You got an Omega in there?”

You tensed.

“Yeah,” Sam said as he pulled the door closed.

Steve shrugged. “It’s normally that secretary isn’t it? Smells different.”

“Not bonded to any one, Cap. Can take a different partner if I want.”

Steve agreed and adjusted the pile in his arms. He gave the two of you smiles and retreated back to his room, content that most of his clothes were returned to him. Before you could take a step, Sam grabbed the scarf from the laundry basket. You turned to him. He held it delicately in his hands.

“Tell me why the fuck I just lied for you before I mark this all over with my scent.”

You growled and made a move but the basket blocked you from reaching fully. Sam gripped it tighter and held it close to his face.

“Stop.”

It came out a whine instead of a command.

“You can’t tell anyone. I’m serious, Sam. Swear it to me.”

“On my life.”

The scarf dropped from his hands and back into the basket as you finished your story. He sniffed the air aggressively.

“That stupid stare-off is making the masker ineffective.”

“I wasn’t expecting Steve to use a command. I can’t use another injection until morning, Bruce and I have it carefully planned out. There are no extras.”

“Be careful, (Y/N). And stay in your room until morning before you start to smell up the place.”

You nodded and headed off before Same called your name.

“This doesn’t change anything,” he said. “I don’t see you as any lesser. Understood, Alpha?”

You wiped at your eyes, feeling tears already start.

“Thanks, Sam. But it’s just you. We know what would happen.”

He swallowed with a nod and you retreated back to your room. Steve’s scarf smelled sickly sweet as you tied up your hair with it. The room was clear of everyone else’s smells. Only yours, Steve’s, and the two things from Sam that he let you keep to try and calm you down filled the room. It was better that way. You drifted off to sleep with a very tired command to FRIDAY to lock your door and bar all entrance until you woke up in the morning.

(Part 3)...

#steve rogers x reader #alpha!steve x reader #marvel fic #avengers fic

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lesbianyosano · 5 months

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manifesting Fukufuku dying in each others arms -> I am losing it slowly anyway thoughts on the newest chapter?

this has been sitting in my askbox since september and im really sorry anwsering took so long, but ive been trying to articulate how the last few chapters/last episode made me feel and im still not sure, because there have been so many bizzare choices made by both asagiri and the ppl behind the anime i still cant wrap my head around it fully (this got stupid long sorry)

starting with fukuzawa, i made a post a while back talking abt how i was assuming he was going to die/why it'd make a lot of sense, and there were really two main reasons for that; 1. he hasnt had anything interesting to offer for the story for a while and 2. his ability actively stops other important characters (mainly atsushi and kyouka) from further developement. the first thing is now gone which im pretty happy with! i love fukuzawa a lot so it's nice to see him finally have a purpose in the main story and im excited to see where it will go (also fukufuku you will always be famous to me <3333333), but the issue of his ability is still very much here. ive seen ppl theorize that all men are equal is just him lying and there is no ability but i honest to god would hate that, bc it would seem like such a shallow twist. atsushi's conflict with the tiger is central to his character so if it suddenly got revealed that a huge reason why he's even capable of using his power is just placebo "believe in yourself" bullshit i think i'd tear my own hair out. so im still thinking fukuzawa may get killed at some point, esp with the position he's been put into now and how much he seems to not want it.

and as for the "chuuya was never a vampire" fiasco, i honestly have no words, it was so unbelievably bad. ik there's been a ton of posts about how "its actually good" bc fyodor's death was caused by his inability to trust, and dazai's belief in his allies is what put him at an advantage, which is nice yeah, but it doesnt change how fucking stupid of a plan that was. if their goal is to kill fyodor, why not do it in that flooded room? fyodor escapes solely bc chuuya gets him out but if he was concious the entire time why not just leave him there? why continue to pretend? im usually not a huge fan of getting angry over plot holes when the narrative and themes are whats more important, but this is just so blantantly stupid. it feels like asagiri just wanted a plot twist for a plot twist's sake. mersault in general is so poorly constructed as an arc (dazai communicating via his heartbeat,,,, give me a break) but at least you'd hope it would end in a way that makes you excuse all of that, and then it doesn't. i think this post sums up how i feel about this than i ever could

and the fact that its december and we are STILL behind the fucking anime asagiri be so for real. it's easy to see now that the constant half chapters and short releases were a deliberate choice to have the anime catch up which i dont love, but fine, whatever. but now??? what the point of half releases? these chapters have been ready for a long time, and there's no way asagiri and the editors and whoever else is involved arent aware of how frustrated the readers have been for years now. the only explanation i can think of is that maybe the manga will have a different arc conclusion and ctheyre trying to idk, make it seem like we're following the anime closely? idk this shit is so stupid

overall this past arc or two have been bad, there are some elements that make them enjoyable still, but there is no theme consistency and overreliance on cliff hangers (that ppl still somehow buy). it feels like there are no stakes to the story, and that's really bad. maybe it's why i was hoping for fukuzawa to be killed alongside fukuchi idk, it'd finally feel like something is changing

on a brief positive note i quite enjoyed fyodors death, weird catholic freak, ofc nikolai is cradling your arm like this. i was a little suprised to see fyodor killed just yet (bc he always needed to die for the story to be able to wrap up eventually), but given the jesus quote, he may as well come back in some way tbh

#and then there the bsd anime sucks issue #s5 in particular but i think its in huge part bc it seems to have been rushed #like dazai leaving mersault with no blood on his clothes/suddenly walking with no issue #and again. so sorry for not anwsering for months im really bad at running a blog #ask

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