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andkisses · 5 months

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♡ roman holiday | sunghoon ♡

will this bucket list trip be the thing that finally forces you to face your feelings? or will it be the thing that tears the two of you apart for good?

♡ sunghoon x gn!reader | wc. 9.4k ♡ genres/tropes: childhood friends to lovers and the fluff and angst that comes with it, college!au (not obvious but implied), road trips ♡ mentions of/warnings: arguments, references to a toxic family environment, allusions to drowning, i think that’s all but lmk if there’s smth else that needs added! ♡ a/n: this has been a wip for SOO long we’re talking YEARS and has changed muses several times but i finally sat down to finish this and im so proud of what i managed <3 truly some of my favorite things ive ever written ! inspired by roman holiday by halsey! this is also the longest thing i think i have ever written <3

♡ masterlist ♡

The coffee ring on the counter stares back at you, warm brown against a stark egg white. You can’t tell if it’s old or new, and part of you doesn’t care. Another part wants to know, though, when the coffee stain was made and why it was never cleaned. The motel is practically empty, the older lady behind the front desk and a tired-looking family in the corner of the dining room are the only other inhabitants.

Through the windows, dressed quaintly with homesewn drapes, you see the tall mountain trees, dark green and prickly, stretching up to the crystal blue sky. The television across the room is set to the weather station, and the anchor talks about how a cold front could potentially lead to an early snow.

A tray with various breakfast items clunks against the table, and the boy you’ve been traveling with settles in across from you, faux leather chair seat squeaking beneath in subtle “I’m hardly ever used” protest. His dark hair falls into his eyes messily, as if he only just now got up and rolled out of bed. The red flannel and vest he wears matches the surroundings, but looks absurd on your best friend.

“Sunghoon,” you start, interlacing your fingers and resting your chin on the bridge they form. Your eyes scan the tray, accounting each and every tiny portion of food. Eggs, both scrambled and hard boiled, some toast with an assortment of little jam containers, a little bowl of butter, two pancakes, half a waffle, and a few strips of bacon. “Thank you for getting everything,” you continue, leveling a stare over the top of your nose, “but you forgot the syrup.”

The boy in front of you blinks, bites his lips, and nods his head. A soft yeah, I forgot the syrup escapes his lips as he slides out of his chair, the pleather squeaking once again. “Give me like two minutes,” he says, “the breakfast bar is crazy to navigate. Do you see the things I do for you?” His smile is teasing.

“It’s no problem, Hoon—” Your voice trails off as he jogs off into the distance. You shake your head, feeling lethargic and sleepy beneath the slow-turning ceiling fan. Your gaze follows its metallic clink, and the fan seems as if it’s never been replaced in the 50-something years this establishment has operated.

You’re brought back down by a small tug on your sleeve, and when you look, it’s the little girl from the tired family across the room. She blinks up at you, not much unlike Sunghoon, innocent and full of curiosity. You nod your head, encouraging her to talk. The little girl takes a big gulp of air, dual pigtails bobbing, before, “I think your boyfriend is very nice and I like how he gets you your breakfast.”

The laugh that leaves you is easy, the statement hardly shocking at all. You’re used to it, strangers and acquaintances alike assuming the relationship status between the two of you. It’s nothing new. The little girl’s face is confused, her head listing to one side. You nod again, swallowing any additional laughter. “He’s not my boyfriend,” you reply, and you see a little bit of the light in her eyes diminish. “We’re just really good friends. He’s my best friend, actually.”

The girl’s brows furrowed together, a small pout forming on her lips. Obviously not the answer she was expecting. Then she nods, lips pursed. “Yeah, okay,” she mutters, seeming confused. Before she turns to walk back to her family, she looks back up and adds, “He’s a good friend. I would keep him as my friend for a long time.”

“That’s what I intend on doing, kiddo.” Your voice is quiet as the little girl skips back across the old, faded carpet towards her family. You see Sunghoon emerge from the breakfast bar, where everyone else at this motel must be. He waves small packets of syrup in the air. The smile that flits across your face is fleeting. You try to ignore, again, this feeling in your chest. Your voice is small, talking to yourself. “For as long as possible.”

***

The candy-colored Valentine stared back at you, practically mocking you. Third grade and only one Valentine. You tried to fight back the tears, attempted to sniff them back inside, but nothing worked. They fell, one by one, onto the homemade card, soaking through the pink construction paper and leaving roundly-shaped wet splotches across your only card.

You read the simple message, “Happy Valentine’s! – Sunghoon”, over and over and over again. You racked your brain, trying to figure out why, why, why no one else gave you a card. You were nice, you offered to help them when they needed it. It seemed like everyone liked you. They even let you sit by them at lunch.

So why?

The hand on your shoulder startled you, your head whipping up to face the figure standing beside the desk. It was Sunghoon, the boy who gave you the only Valentine in your possession. The edges of his dark hair curled around his eyebrows and the corners of his eyes. His brow scrunched with worry, and he ducked down to see your face.

“Are you okay?”

You shook your head, a bitter pout filling out your lips. “Does it look like I’m okay?”

Sunghoon shrugged, removing his hand to pull out the seat beside you. “I guess not.” He pursed his lips, hands clasped in his lap, before looking back at you. “What’s the matter?”

You flung the single Valentine—his own Valentine—back at him. The construction paper flew through the air before catching, floating down to land on the table by Sunghoon, who deftly picked it up and turned it over in his hands.

“It’s the only one you got?”

You nodded, crossing your arms on your desk and sinking into them. A heavy sigh left your chest and you sniffled, trying to keep the angry tears from falling again. You wished the day would end; that the bell would ring and release you so you could go home and cry somewhere comfier instead.

There was silence, then, “Does it matter if you only got one?”

You scoffed, still hidden in your arms. “Uh, duh? It means no one in this class likes me.”

“Then… why does it matter if everyone else doesn’t like you? Shouldn’t one person liking you be okay?”

You bit your lip. You can’t tell if you like his thinking or not. You decided not to respond.

You heard the chair scrape against the wood floor beside you, and you figured it was Sunghoon leaving to return to the other students. That was fine, you figured. It’s what you should expect, anyway. Even if he was the only one who gave you a Valentine, it was probably only because he gave the whole class Valentine’s. What a guy.

Then the chair was drug against the floor again, much closer this time. You popped your head up, a scowl still on your face, to see what was happening. Sunghoon had scooted it closer, and in his hands was another Valentine. You watched as he flipped the card over to the decorated side and skillfully pulled off the foam heart-shaped sticker, as if he’d had to do this thousands of times before.

His question is one you didn’t expect. “Where do you want to go?”

You look up at him, incredulous. “What do you mean?”

“Well, if you don’t have many friends here, you must want to be somewhere else?” Sunghoon shrugged, as if the thought made perfect sense to him. “Right?”

You pursed your lips, mimicking his shrug. “I guess you’re right...”

“Then,” Sunghoon began again, “where do you want to go?”

“Uhm, my house?” you answered. Crying on your fluffy bed would be much more comfortable than crying on this hard desk. Your arms were sore from resting on the edge and your back was stiff from the awkward angle.

Sunghoon shook his head. “No, think bigger. Like, vacation places and stuff.”

“Hmm... then, maybe, the big cities? The ones you always see in TV shows. And... the beach, because the ocean is really nice.”

Sunghoon nodded, diligently taking note of every place you suggested. His handwriting is a little crooked, but it fit on the now vacant front of a Valentine’s card. He looked up at you, eyes wide with question. “Anywhere else?”

You frowned, deep in thought. Then, as if someone tapped you on the shoulder and whispered it in your ear, an idea sprung to mind. “A really tall mountain, where it’s snowy all the time. No matter the season”

The pencil lead pulled across the paper, leaving information behind. Sunghoon returned to the top of the page, tapping the pencil’s eraser on the side of his cheek before scribbling a final note down. “There! It’s finished!” He slid it over in front of you.

You read the title of the list aloud: “The Wanderlist? But that isn’t even a word.”

Sunghoon shook his head. “It is now.” He leaned over, pointing at all the places you had stated. “And that’s everywhere we’re gonna go, because I’m your best friend now. We won’t be lonely, because we have each other. And we’re gonna travel all over.”

You sat up, leveling him a stare. “Well, this is gonna be expensive, you know. Trips aren’t free. They cost a lot.”

Sunghoon smiled, the kind that, even for a tin moment, makes everything seem like it’s possible. “Then we better start saving now!”

***

The pink paper stares up at you from its place on the dashboard, stuck with a random sticker right next to the air vent. The edges had aged, curling and warping, and your tear stains from 3rd grade are still faintly visible. You read over the list—your wanderlist, as Sunghoon had named it all those years ago.

1. Big cities (because TV) x2!!

2. The beach (because cool ocean)

3. Tall mountain (because always snow)

The big city had been marked off in 6th grade, when the class had a trip to the modern art museum, and again in 8th grade for a series of school-wide competitions, from writing and art to band to mathematics and science. Sunghoon had excelled at creative writing while you swept the math category for your region.

The beach was crossed off the day before the two of you left for college. How bitter it was that you had to be separated, together for ten years only to be settled in two different places. Yes, you weren’t that far away. A half day’s drive. But you both knew, deep down, how likely seeing each other was.

So you did something about it. The day before, you woke up before the sun. You loaded his car up with everything you would need for a daytrip, and you took off for the coast. You spent the whole day, afternoon, and evening parked at a spot on the beach. If you think about it now, you can still smell the seabreeze, imagine it in your hair. You can hear Sunghoon’s laugh, about what, you can’t remember. You do remember how happy you both were.

You remember sitting side by side, sharing a blanket over your shoulders as the seabreeze grew colder, watching the sun disappear on the horizon. You remember the thoughts you had–the ones you normally stamped down and annoyed. You should tell him. You’d been so close before. You wouldn’t even say the word to yourself, but you knew.

You didn’t say anything

“Can you believe these clouds?” Sunghoon says, slipping into the driver's seat and shutting the door. He places his keys into the ignition and turns like he always had. You watch the keychain you got him freshman year of high school swing from momentum. When you look back up, Sunghoon is watching you, leaning one elbow on the center console, hair in his eyes. “I suppose even the weather believes my sunny disposition is more than enough.”

“Oh, please,” you scoff, smacking his shoulder. You turn to look out the window, biting your lip. You’ve got to get it together. You blame that little girl from breakfast. You’d been doing just fine not thinking about Sunghoon in That Way. Now here you were, all these stupid feelings drummed up.

It doesn’t help that Sunghoon pulls out a cassette–MT-PSH-5–and pops it into the player. His smile grows wide as he turns out of the parking lot and onto the road, heading further up the mountain. “Nothing like some classic tunes.”

It was dumb. It didn’t mean anything.

It’s all you can think about.

Sneaking out late, hot summer heat still sticky and oppressing. You could feel the waves rise up from the concrete as it finally felt relief in the moonlight. You’d felt like dressing up, sneaking into your mother’s room and applying her fancy department store perfume to the nape of your neck. Your fingers gracefully found her pearls in the glass bowl on the dresser as you left, and you pulled them over your head, letting them rest against your collar bone. They’re still cool against your hot skin.

You escaped through the back patio, walking past the fist-sized hole in the drywall you wished you could forget about. The dusty edges kept raining down debris if someone walked too close to it. You let yourself out the gate in the fence, pulling it shut behind you. You felt for the keys to the front door in your pocket, and they jingled in response. You clasped your hand around the cool metal, the cuts sharp and edgy beneath your palm.

He met you at the corner of his street and yours, his dark hair swallowing up the soft moonlight. It made his features seem younger, softer. It felt like you were kids again.

You fell in line beside each other, walking the empty streets without fear. Who was to stop some teenagers walking the street at midnight? Random cars passed by, people finally returning home from the late shift but paying no mind to you two. And that was fine; you didn’t want them to care.

The black gates around the community pool glinted in the yellow streetlights, reaching out to you like a beacon. The closer you drew, the more the overwhelming scent of chlorine filled the air. You walked forward, hands in your jacket pockets, one wrapped tightly around your house keys. You took a deep, steadying breath. This was fine. You had this.

“Hey, [Y/N], do we really have to do this?”

You rolled your eyes, pulling your hands from your pockets and grabbing the top of the fence. You’d have to pull yourself up, and be extra careful of the metal pickets at the top. It’d be tough, but you could make it. “What?” you snapped back lightly, voice echoing amongst the night. “Scared of hopping the fence?”

“No, that’d be ridiculous,” Sunghoon replied, crossing his arms and shifting his weight to rest on one foot. “Jumping fences is nothing for me. Jumping fences into property that—” he pointed to a white and red sign just beside your knees. “—considers jumping fences into property after hours as illegal and trespassing? That sets me on edge.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes again. “It’s not like they’ve got police roaming around or anything, and the owner’s too cheap for security cameras. I’m sure if we tried hard enough, we could just pull the fence down instead of having to jump it.” For emphasis, you grabbed hold of the rods and shook. A loud metallic echo escaped into the night, and before you could pull back and shake a third time, Sunghoon had dashed to your side, placing his hands on yours to stop you.

His brown eyes caught the light as he shook his head back and forth and hissed, “If you’re going to do something illegal, do it quietly! Especially when I’m here.”

You leaned forward, head inching towards his, with a scowl on your face. “Then shut up and hop the fence.” You drew back, replacing your hands at the top and pulled yourself up and over with ease. Maybe mandatory PE did have benefits.. Your sneakers landed on the pavement, and when you stood upright from the landing, you stared at Sunghoon through the bars. “You can either join me,” you began, a smirk on your face, chin tilted up, “or you could just wait while I go and find my car keys.”

You turned on your heels, walking towards the lifeguard’s shack. You could have sworn the sigh you heard was strong enough to blow the fence down altogether

Your shoes scuffed against the concrete, and you felt the humid air of the pool spill over and try to reach out to you. Its arms clung and bit at your ankles as the water inside sloshed around with the teasing wind. You shook them off, changing course from the pool’s edge to the guard’s shack. The padlock on the door seemed old—really old—and you crossed your fingers before giving a giant tug and having it pop open in your hands.

The wooden door swung open and you stepped inside the dingy shack. Various lost pool toys littered the floor, and a box of deflated tricolor beach balls appeared to have seen better days. But you weren’t interested in any of that: you needed your car keys. Above you, nestled nearly at the top of the peaked roof was a loft filled with white plastic bins. One of them, you noted, was closer to the edge than the others, as if someone had lazily swung it up there.

You crossed your fingers again, reaching up to pull the basket down to you. “Please be there, please be there, please be there,” you chanted under your breath. You peered into the basket. On top, someone’s embroidered handkerchief. You pinched the soft material between your finger and thumb before tossing it aside in the basket. Someone’s crazy straw, two Rubik’s Cubes, a school ID lanyard, and—yes!

You fished your car keys out with one hand and swung the basket back up into the loft with the other. You turned to leave, ready to find Sunghoon, reunite with your car, and drive home, but before you can even take a single step back out you’ve run into something.

Or someone.

Your scream’s instantly shushed by your best friend, a single finger coming up against your lips. Sunghoon was so close, and you felt the pool humidity roll off his shoulders as he looked at you with confusion. “Are you done?” he asked. “And why are you screaming?”

You shook your head, holding up your keys. “Yes. Also, you scared me. How did you get in here? I didn’t think you’d hop the fence.”

“Didn’t have to.” Sunghoon held up a matching padlock to the one you’d pulled off outside. “Looks like the owner’s too cheap to buy actual locks for his gates. I simply walked in.”

You left the lifeguard’s shack, replacing the lock and headed for the entrance, where Sunghoon easily swung open the wrought iron gate. You walked towards your car as Sunghoon redid the lock, simply looping it through and clicking it shut.

You kissed your car keys and unlocked the doors, swinging down into the driver’s seat. Sunghoon slid into the passenger seat beside you, and as soon as his door shut, the engine was starting and you were pulling out of the parking spot.

“Let a guy put on his seatbelt first?” Sunghoon joked as he clicked his into place. “I don’t see you wearing yours, [Y/N].”

“Then you’re not looking close enough,” you replied, taking one hand off the wheel to pull at your own seatbelt. “Seems as if someone isn’t paying attention.”

“Forgive me, I was busy making sure no one saw our illegal activity. I would like to graduate high school next year with a clean record.”

You laughed something similar to a scoff as you flicked on your turn signal and made your way down his street. “You say that as if we robbed a bank. Is it really trespassing if the locks don’t even work? The wind could have undone them.” You turned to catch a glance at your friend, and what you caught was a judgmental glare in the green glow of the dashboard.

With a simple curve of the steering wheel, you pulled in front of his house. You shifted the car in park and rotated towards the passenger seat. “Thanks for breaking the law with me, Sunghoon. It means a lot. I’m touched.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. He leaned towards the door, making as if to pull the handle and open it, when he reached inside his pocket. His eyes lit up and he turned back towards you. “Oh, yeah!”

You shook your head, confused. You hold a single hand up. “Oh, yeah, what?”

“Here’s that mixtape you wanted,” Sunghoon answers, placing a cassette tape in your unintentionally outstretched hand. You scowled. You didn’t know how he had the technology to make a cassette in this day and age, but then again, you were the one with a car so old it still had a cassette player. You two were a pair, you supposed.

“When did you finish it?” you asked, spinning it around in your hands. The clear, Sharpie handwriting read MT-PSH-5 on the short white label.

“This morning,” he replied, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“Why didn’t you give it to me earlier, then?” You turn to look at him. The yellow glow of the streetlights blend in with the green of the dashboard lights. His eyes remained that entrancing brown color, though. Romantic and homey all at once, untouchable by any other shade.

Sunghoon shrugged. “Perhaps it was because you didn’t have a car to play it in when I finished it? It was unavailable to you, shall we say.”

“Ha, ha, very funny.” You kept turning the cassette in your hands, as if you’d find something new and exciting on each turn.

“Oh, and—” Sunghoon leaned across the center console, reaching to take the tape from your hands, like he had something to say or show you. But he stopped. His brows furrowed together, and he turned to you, face mere inches from your own. “Are you wearing perfume?”

You nodded. “Yeah. My mom’s, and I got mad at her since she got mad at me about the car so I...”

An eyebrow quirked up. “You’re showing your mom up by stealing some of her perfume?”

“It’s expensive,” you muttered, sliding down into your seat. “She’ll have to pay for it later. Literally.”

And with that, he laughed. Nice and hearty and his eyes turned into tiny crescent moons and you felt your heart flutter—something that had happened a lot as of late, and you’re not entirely sure why. Yes, Sunghoon was a good friend. A best friend. But that’s all he was. He—

“Hey.” Your attention snapped from a distance spot on the road over to him, and he felt even closer now for some reason. Your heart registered how soft he’d spoken and proceeded to beat faster because of it. His eyes searched yours, but for what you don’t know. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet. “Make sure you get home safe, okay? Wouldn’t want anything happening to the city’s greatest delinquent.”

“Yeah,” you laughed, but it was short and stilted. You barely heard what he said over the thumping of your own blood in your ears. You felt the red flush creep up your neck, dusting your cheeks and turning your ears a cherry color. When you swallowed, your mouth suddenly dry, all you could think about was how loud it seemed. Your grip on the mixtape tightened, it seemingly the only thing tethering you to the real world.

You couldn’t tell if the radio was one or not or whether you’d turned car off and left the keys in the ignition. All you could tell was Sunghoon, so close and so real he almost seemed unreal. And then it happened. He leaned in, eyes fluttering shut before placing a soft kiss on the side of your cheek, right next to your lips. It happened too fast and it was the slowest moment of your life all at once. Your heart was practically screaming now, hands rattling around the mixtape.

When he pulled back, he kept going, opening the car door and stepping out. Before closing it, he leaned in and nodded. “I meant what I said about getting back safely. Promise?”

You nodded. “I promise.” You were surprised your voice worked at all. That you were able to form a coherent, albeit a simplistic, sentence. That you could think at all. The door swung shut and you shifted the car into drive.

The whole way home felt automatic, limbs working separate from your internal instructions. When you returned home, you pulled up beside your mailbox and turned the car off, pulling the keys and letting them rest in your hand. You sat motionless, seatbelt still in place, as you stared, eyes fixated at someone mindless spot on the dashboard. The pearls were cool against your heated skin.

It was dumb. It didn’t mean anything.

It’s all you can think about.

You flip the mixtape over in your hands, reading the slightly-faded yet still legible handwriting. MT-HVC-5. You’d run through the songs already, and Sunghoon had switched to some CD mixes he had brought. Why he didn’t get a car with Bluetooth, something you’d done a while ago, you’d never know. Maybe that was part of his charm.

You’d managed to learn to forget about that kiss, or at least ignore it. But Sunghoon pulling out the mixtape he’d given you that night pulls it back up to the surface. You aren’t even sure how it even got into his possession. The longer you recall the memory, the more you can feel the burn on your cheek from where his warm lips touched your skin. The rest of the flush comes back from how you wish so badly it would happen again.

“What’s up?”

“Huh?” You turn towards his voice, away from the window.

“I asked what’s up,” Sunghoon repeats, looking over at you for a split second before returning to the road. “You seem like we’re on another planet.”

“Just thinking about when we were younger, you know...” Did he? What did you want him to think about? The day you’ve been obsessing over? And then what would he do about it? Pull over and confess? Kiss you, but mean it this time?

Sunghoon laughs, breaking your thoughts. He spares another quick glance in your direction. “Younger like what? Like third grade or two days ago?”

You reach across the center console to smack his shoulder. “Why would it be two days ago?”

“We were younger then. Wild, foolish.” Sunghoon takes one hand off the wheel and places his knuckles on his forehead. “The way we were is actually unimaginable now.”

“I’m done with you.”

Sunghoon scoffs. “Sure you are.” A quick beat, a hum to the music. “Anyway, what were you thinking about?”

You’re quiet for a moment. Then, “Do you think we'll change?”

“We have changed.”

“Really?” He said it so simply, it takes you off guard. You turn to look at him, even though you know he’ll keep his eyes glued safely to the road.

“Yeah,” he shrugs. “We’ve totally changed. We don't like the same kinds of music as the old us used to. We don't eat mac and cheese for every conceivable meal—except for the day after that one chem exam.”

“That final was hard!” You reach across the center console to shove at his shoulder–oh, god, why do you keep finding ways to put your hands on him?–earning a smug grin. “None of it was covered in class and you know it!”

“See what I mean?” Sunghoon asks. “We're different, but like, a good different. We’ve adapted.”

The silence that fills the car after isn’t weighty or overbearing. It’s comfortable and common, safe like a child-loved security blanket. Yet, somehow, your stomach fills with stones of dread, and all you want to do is sleep off any bad feelings.

You keep your eyes trained ahead, the curving mountain road, when you ask, “Do you ever think we'll be bad different?

Sunghoon spares a confused glance at you, brows knit together as he switches focus between you and the road. He shakes his head. “No, not us. Never us.”

“Is that a promise?”

The hand closest to you leaves the steering wheel and drifts over the center console, pinky out. “Always.”

You wrap your pinky around his, and try to ignore the heated flush you feel creeping up your neck and the backs of your ears. You focus, instead, on how real Sunghoon feels. How solid the mixtape is in your hands. How, here out in what feels like the middle of nowhere surrounded by evergreens and roadside snow piles that have started to pop up and tall mountain views, time doesn’t feel like it can get you.

Maybe he’s right.

Maybe, out here, there’s only good different.

Maybe, that’s all you need.

The clouds from the morning have turned darker, more potent. You can smell rain in the air, hear it as the wind rushes through the trees. It’s so cold though, you wonder if it will snow instead. The mountain weather you’d been looking forward to for so long.

Sunghoon knocks his shoulder into yours, cheeks pink from the cold. He swings your duffle bag towards you, letting go of the strap before you’ve gotten a good grip on it. “Your luggage,” he declares, before marching towards the hotel entrance.

You’d both decided, with your combined measly college student incomes, that wherever the last hotel would be, it needed to be the best you could afford. Standing in front of it now, styled like a fancy chateau with white walls and a red roof, you think the two of you made the right choice.

You had forgot what made such a nice place so affordable, until Sunghoon swipes the key, opens the door for you, gesturing for you to walk in first. The room is cute and delicate, with pretty yet aged wainscotting, petite floral wallpaper, a nice view of the surrounding mountains and–

And one bed.

You freeze. You can’t help it. Maybe the you from this morning, before that girl talked to you, could handle this. The you of right now? The lady at the front desk calling you a cute couple, and Sunghoon going along with it and not correcting her, didn’t help. You aren’t sure if you’re strong enough to keep everything the same.

“Rats,” Sunghoon says, and you breathe a sigh of relief. He’s not cool with this either, you think. He turns toward you with a coy smile. “I’m gonna go back downstairs and ask for more pillows. Three simply won’t cut it. Want me to ask for some fancy water?”

You shake your head, voice gone, and you don’t move until you hear the door shut behind Sunghoon.

And that’s when it starts, as you drag your feet in circles trying to think your way through this. Your hands clench and unclench, fists forming so tightly you leave half-moons from your nails in the fleshy part of your palm. Your breath comes ragged and shallow, and you feel like drowning, except from too much instead of not enough. Too many memories reminding you of too many things. Too many emotions leading to too many feelings you neither want to recognize or acknowledge.

But one keeps pushing its way to the forefront, demanding attention and definition. The one that’s been bothering you all day. It makes you dizzy, to the point you feel you need to lay down and clutch at your stomach. Maybe that’s it, you think as you sit on the edge of the one bed. You’re just sick. Breakfast was bad. But you know it’s not. It makes you angry, because how dare you feel this way about him. It makes you flustered, since you shouldn't look at your best friend's face and have your gaze wander to his lips and wonder what they'd feel like against yours.

It makes you happy, so undeniably happy that you feel like crying, because it feels so right. When you allow yourself to think more about it, and imagine what life would be like if you were able to confirm and agree with all the strangers who already think you’re dating. Lovers. It fills you up with breaths of fresh air to the point it's like floating on cotton clouds.

It makes you fearful. Its dark side claws at your heart, threatening to tear at the tender seams and leave you bloody and raw, so intensely damaged you're afraid of doing anything along the same lines. You had asked about a bad different, and Sunghoon said it wasn’t possible. Right now, you feel like you have to disagree–confessing this? Altering the relationship you’ve carefully crafted for so long?

That would be a bad different.

That’s why, when Sunghoon comes back, three more pillows and a bottle of sparkling water, you don’t answer. You roll over on the bed, curling up away from him, hiding with a pillow on your head. You hear Sunghoon say something about it being a long drive, and he gets it, you should rest. You hear him open the closet door, then feel the spare blanket get draped over you.

And, as you lay here, hot silent tears threatening to spill over and run down your cheeks, you let yourself think about it. You're in love with your best friend. Your nail-bitten palms come to swipe at your eyes, you make the mistake of sniffing aloud. Sunghoon calls your name, and you hate how much you savor the worry in his voice.

But, it’s also too much. He can’t know, you decide. Not now, not ever. That is what would be best, you decide, for the two of you. To be able to get through the rest of this trip.

“[Y/N], what is it?” he calls again. Sunghoon’s voice is laced with care, something tender and soft and so distinctly him it pulls at the tears in your eyes. How can he make this so unfair? “What's wrong?”

“You wouldn't understand,” you snap, pulling yourself to sit up, the pillow falling off. You don’t look at him, but instead at your hands, fists in your lap. Sunghoon easily notes your posture, and confusion floods his features. You hate how quickly he can figure out something’s wrong, that something is bothering you.

“Can I try to understand, at least?” You look up at him, lips pursed, tears smarting your eyes. You take him in–turned towards you in the chair, sitting on the edge, like he can jump to your rescue at any time. The confused look in his eyes hurts—you've always been straightforward with one another. But you know you can’t about this. “I can’t try to fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

You shake your head, wiping one of your cheeks with your fingers, a half laugh falling from your lips. “No, Hoon it's—”

“No.”

The force of the single word hits you, and it hurts more than the angry look in his eye.

He stands, takes a step toward you, then sits hesitantly on the edge of the bed. He's close, and he's been closer, but it's still too much. The rushing sound is back in your ears and your heart pounds against your ribs, telling you to do something, anything, but you stay still.

“Hoon—”

“I said no, [Y/N].” Sunghoon’s words are ice, colder than the breeze outside and sharper than butcher knives. His eyes, once warm and homey, that romantic shade of brown you love, are now dark and piercing. “You don't get to call me special names when you aren't telling me what's wrong. When you aren't acting like the [Y/N] I've known since third grade.” His hands come up to run through his hair, and it flips slowly back into place. His voice drops, the softer, confused Sunghoon returning. “You've been acting weird this whole trip, and especially since this morning. It's driving me insane that I can't figure it out and fix it. I know you better than this.”

He's so close, so, so close. Much too close. Somehow he’s scooted towards you on the bed. You can smell his cologne—when did he start doing that? Why hadn’t you noticed earlier? His eyes are back to the romantic brown, the warm and homey color, the ones that remind you of so many good memories—his eyes are so pretty. Your gaze follows its past patterns and drops to his lips, redder from being gnawed on with worry. A kiss would—

A shaky breath leaves you, and you're talking before you realize, voice so small it's hard to hear. But Sunghoon is listening. He always does.

You blink. “Do you want to know what's wrong?”

“Of course. I need to know if I can do anything or—”

“It's you.”

You want to be upset, angry. How dare it come to this. But you can’t, you realize. You can’t be angry at him. Whatever energy you had coursing through your veins leaves after your pseudo confession, and you turn away, resting your weight on the headboard, hoping he’ll go away.

This, for certain, was bad different. You can feel it, weighing you down. Here, in a chilly, single bed hotel room, you’d ruined everything. Your brain told you to shut up, to be quiet, to try and save anything you could manage from this shattering relationship. But your mouth—or maybe your heart—kept going, and going, and going.

“It’s you,” you repeat, turning back towards him. He’s still there, frozen in place, face filled with concern. “It’s everything you do. The way you... you tell me bad jokes when I’m upset over a grade or make me mixtapes because you want to share your music with me. It’s–I’m–I’m sick of it. I hate it. I hate you”

Sunghoon recoils, eyes wide. He looks around the room, as if the answers to what to say are hidden around. He stands, backing up without turning away, like you’re something he has to keep his eyes on or he’ll get hurt again.

Again.

Sunghoon’s voice is flat when he speaks, like he’s out of breath. Shaky, like he’s about to cry, too. What have you done? “I’m… I’ll go downstairs and ask about if there’s anything nice around for dinner. I’ll–I’ll wait for you in the lobby. Whenever you’re ready, you know.”

Even now, after the nasty things–after I hate you left your lips–he’s still trying to make peace with you.

What did you do to ever deserve him?

And would he even stay with you once you return home?

The door falling shut is what starts your tears again. You slump down off the bed, between it and the window. You pull your knees up to your chest, put your head in your hands, and you cry.

***

It still isn’t over.

You’re breathing heavy, tears still stinging your eyes, but you aren’t sure if you’ve actually cried yet or not. Your fists are balled at your sides. Years of friendship are stuck in your throat, enough to make you want to scream or cry or vomit from the nauseous feeling it induces. The pouring rain, those clouds finally opening up, doesn’t help.

Dinner had been awful, awkward. The only person either of you talked to had been the waiter. You can’t remember what the food tasted like. You can’t remember what, if any, songs played on the radio on the way back. Sunghoon hadn’t bothered to pick anything out. All you could remember, or hear, or see in your head–I hate you. The look in his eyes. How he has barely looked at you since.

You aren’t sure what you have to do to get away, but you’d be willing to make a deal.

Anything to get away from this moment.

Anything to get away from your best friend.

Sunghoon stares at you like he’s only just now met you, and maybe he has. He’d stopped you halfway between the car and the hotel’s entrance, despite the rain. He’d called your name in such a way you froze. Your angered confession from earlier hangs in the air, untouched or acknowledged. A single parking lot light illuminates you two, dim yellow casting shadows through the rain.

“Do you mean that? What you said?” he asks, daring to step forward. You don’t move, anchored in place. By fear or something else, you aren’t sure. He takes another, then a third. The gap between you has been halved. “I know you don’t mean it. I’ve been thinking about it this whole time. You don’t mean it.”

“What makes you so sure?” you spit, taking a step closer in your upset. You level Sunghoon with a stare you hope is intimidating, bitter. You hope he sees the duress. You have to push him away. “I said what I said. I hate you, Park Sunghoon.”

The boy shakes his head, hair stuck to his forehead from the rain. He seems almost incredulous, and it angers you even more. Why doesn’t he get it? There’s a small smirk at the corners of his lips, but you’ve known him long enough to recognize it as mock confidence. “You didn’t mean what you said.”

“I did!” Another step, and now you’re nose to nose with him, staring into the eyes you’ve had memorized for so long, that romantic brown even in the rain and yellow streetlight. Your gaze betrays you and you drink in the slope of his nose, see how his eyes examine you as well. Note the downturn of his lips, almost unnoticeable. Your voice is weaker when you speak again. “I did mean it, Sunghoon.”

He leans in, closer and closer until he stops–a breath away from your lips. He freezes, closes his eyes, and waits.

And you cave, despite your best interests. You find yourself tilting your head and wishing he’d do something more. This can’t be how your first kiss with Sunghoon goes? When he pulls back, and you nearly stumble forward. You look up at him, and the smile on his face is no longer mock. You know what his question will be before he says it, and you know he’s caught you in your lie. “You hate me so much–why did you kiss me back?”

You want to spit back, I didn’t! You want to argue. But the truth is, ever since you’d remembered that day in high school, you’d been imagining what it would be like to actually kiss him, and again, and again. You wanted to know what kissing Sunghoon would be like, even if it meant redefining the relationship you worked so hard to keep as is. The one you said you hated him to protect.

Sunghoon gently cups the sides of your face, forcing you to look at him, and you see worry and concern etched into the space between his brows, spilt in the color of his eyes. “Tell me,” he whispers, voice almost breaking, “what’s wrong. Let me try to fix it.”

You shake your head, trying to form words to explain everything, but all you do is shiver drastically beneath his touch. You watch as Sunghoon’s eyes grow wide, and he leads you inside, arm over your shoulder. The woman at the front desks awards you a quirked eyebrow, but that’s all you get before she returns to her clipboard.

The room is icy cold when you return, but Sunghoon adjusts the temperature in silence. “You get dry first,” he says, pointing at the bathroom. “Take a shower and get warm.”

“But about you?” You want to point out the subtle shake in his hands, and the way his breath catches. “There’s not enough towels to share.”

“I’ll ask for more at the front desk. I’ll be fine. Go.”

The shower water never feels hot enough, but you do stop shivering. You do your best to towel dry your hair. When you peek the door open to see if he’s back, and if you could get your things, you see that Sunghoon has already done it for you. Everything you could need taken from your bag, folded and placed nicely right outside the door. You have no idea when he did it–you’re thankful he did.

When he comes back with extra towels–which, surely, did not take this long–you’re curled up on the bed, similar to before. You rest your weight on the headboard, looking out the window at how the rain patters against the glass. You wish you could see the stars.

Sunghoon is fast, but who’s to say? You aren’t exactly keeping track of time. You know he’s back because you feel the mattress shift. His voice is almost silent when he speaks. “Can we talk?”

“About what?” you ask, turning towards him. You haven’t seen Sunghoon look this tired in a while. And you know it’s your fault. “How I was mean to you?”

Sunghoon smiles, looking down at his clasped hands. He takes a moment to determine what he actually wants to say. “Let’s start with…what it is about me that made you say that?”

His eyes are pleading in the dark. The room is barely lit, the overhead light off. There’s just a lamp on the desk and the streetlight from outside. The rain sound is almost overwhelming in the silence. “If there’s something I’ve done that hurt you–”

“It’s not that. It’s–” You pause, trying to find the right thing to say. You decide to start with the obvious. “There’s a reason I kissed you outside.”

Sunghoon rolls his eyes. “Yeah, because I’m charming and irresistible.”

“This is serious!” You do what you always do when he makes some kind of quip–you reach out to push his shoulder, scooting closer, but Sunghoon catches you by your wrist.

“I am serious. Do you know how much you hurt me when you said you hated me?” He levels you a stare, one that makes you want to shrink away, but you can’t. “When I left, I didn’t ask the front desk about restaurants. I went to my car and sat down and cried because the person I love just said they hated me.”

“You love me?”

“Not like that,” he corrects, and now you have to know what he means.

“Tell me how then.” You take your free hand and grab his other wrist, a mirror of what he’s done to you. “When you say you love me, what do you mean?”

“It’s not like you think, not like what it has been.” Sunghoon looks down, takes a deep breath, then carries on. “Not like friends, or like siblings, but like–”

“Lovers?” you offer.

Sunghoon swallows, sets his jaw. Then, “Yes. Like that. And I don’t know when it happened. I don’t know if it was overnight or gradual or all at once. I do know that I woke up one morning and I realized that I didn’t want to imagine my future with anyone else. And I didn’t want to see you with anyone else, either.”

“Kinda selfish,” you say.

Sunghoon laughs. “Yeah. I couldn’t help it.”

Somehow, you’ve both moved closer to each other. The knees of your crossed legs knock into each other. You still have a hold on the other’s wrist. Sunghoon levels you another stare. “Will you tell me why?”

“Why I said I hated you?” He nods, and you take a deep sigh. “Do you remember the night we snuck into the pool to get my car keys back?”

He nods again, a small smile on his face. “You mean the first night I got enough courage to kiss you? You looked so pretty, with the pearls and the perfume.”

You blush, hearing Sunghoon talk about you like that. “That night. I’ve been thinking a lot about it. And you know how all these people always say we look like a couple or whatever. And it all just stuck together and made me realize that I haven’t seen you like a friend in a long time. I’ve seen you like–”

“A lover?” Sunghoon offers, copying you from earlier.

You smile. “I said I hated you because I was afraid and overwhelmed, and I need you away from me. I thought that if you hated me, I could get over you and just move on. We could make up, and I wouldn’t have these feelings anymore, and we could go back to being friends.

“But if I’m being honest,” you add, moving even closer. Your shoulders knock into one other. “Even though it wasn’t even that long, those hours over dinner just now were some of the worst things I have ever had to do. I was ugly to you, Sunghoon, and you’re the last person on earth who would ever deserve to be talked to that way. But if you could forgive me, I…”

You try to look down again, but Sunghoon lets go of your wrist to place a finger under your chin, tipping your head up to his gaze. “You what?”

“I love you. I’m in love with you, I’ve been in love with you. I love you, Park Sunghoon.” You take a deep breath, just as lightning strikes somewhere far away and the thunder rumbles through the room.

Sunghoon reaches out for you, his hands reach cupping your face again. It’s the most reverent you’ve ever seen him. His eyes roam over your every feature, as if you’ll break if he breathes too hard. It’s thrilling. “Genuinely?” he asks, voice fragile. “You love me?”

“Yes,” you whisper. It feels wrong to be too loud right now, like someone else could join in this moment between the two of you. “And if you would have me, I’d like to love you for a long time after this.”

Sunghoon pulls you to him, resting your forehead against his. He takes a deep breath. Then, “We’ve both just been really, really stupid about it, haven’t we?”

You laugh, savoring his touch and his warm and his smile. You stare into his eyes, those romantic brown ones you love so much. “I guess so.”

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, and your heart jumps. “I know we did outside, but that’s a terrible story for a first kiss.”

“And the one from so long ago doesn’t count, because you just gave me a kiss then,” you say, not sure why you’re rambling when you have the opportunity to just kiss him already.

So, you shut up, and you do.

This kiss is reverent, unlike any that came before. You probably shouldn’t even bother comparing them. Maybe it’s the intentions behind the kiss—that you both want to be here, doing this, for the sake of just being, not proving. Maybe it’s because it hasn’t followed any dramatic late night outings or arguments. Maybe, it’s how you shiver closer to his frame, hands on his shoulders, and his own find the small of your back. You feel his smile against your lips, and the butterflies against your ribs.

Maybe, you should have said something a while ago. You could have avoided the whole I hate you stint, but then would anything else have been dramatic? Some couples are like puzzle pieces, perfectly fitting together with no stress. And maybe you two are a puzzle, one that fits together with ease, but you both intentionally hid pieces from the other, making it difficult to complete. Maybe airing grievances is the only way to get all the pieces back on the table.

You sigh as Sunghoon’s lips travel from your own down the line of your jaw, tickling in a delightful way. You feel safe in his arms, a safe you’ve always felt, but now it feels like something more, something even greater. Your heart jumps, and you throw your arms around his neck, pulling him close. Sunghoon instinctively holds you tighter, his hands against your shoulder blades.

“What is it?” he asks.

You shake your head, finding any words to be incredibly difficult. “I’m just—I’m glad.”

Sunghoon pulls back gently, quirking his head to one side as he looks at you. He uses the pad of his thumb to gently wipe away a stray tear. “Glad for what?” he asks, still cupping your cheek.

You lean into his touch, feeling dizzy with excitement and relief. “Glad that it’s you,” you say, your voice quiet. You lean in, placing a chaste kiss against his lips and, for once, he’s the one to shiver. “I’m glad you’re the one I love. Glad we’re here now, finally.”

Sunghoon pauses. His eyes dart between yours, your lips, and back. He rests his forehead on yours again, and you can already imagine getting used to this, and craving it when you can’t have it. “I waited so long, and I didn’t even know if...” There’s a catch in his voice, and he sounds like he’s about to cry. When he opens his eyes, there’s an honesty to them, a gaze you’ve only seen in Sunghoon’s eyes a handful of times. He smiles, his eyes going soft once more, like you are the most beautiful thing he has ever beheld. And to him, you are. “I always knew we were meant to be.”

***

The lady behind the desk did, in fact, look at you two like you were crazy. The night before you were acting like you were gonna tear each other to pieces. But now you’re walking out in each other’s arms? His around your shoulder, yours around his waist?

The sun is out, and there’s hardly any evidence of the downpour from last night. Maybe the earth needed to be just as dramatic as the two of you.

With the luggage in back, you two climb into the front seats. Sunghoon leans over the center console to press a kiss to your temple, just like he did when you woke up in each other’s arms and just like he did when he insisted on getting you whatever you wanted for breakfast.

“That’s not something new though?” you laugh, as he brings you small portions of everything the hotel had to offer. “You did this before.”

“Well, it’s obviously different now,” he replies. “I didn’t get to kiss you before.”

Now, Sunghoon taps at the Valentine heart on the dash–your wanderlist. What started this all. “We need a new one,” he says. “It took us a while, but we did everything on here. Should the new one be full of cringey couple things?”

“Only if you’d like to go back to being single.”

Sunghoon fakes shock as he shifts the car into gear. “You wouldn’t.”

This time, you lean over to give him a kiss, and you relish how quickly he blushes. “You’re right, I wouldn’t.” You sit back down, still turned towards him, hand atop his. “Maybe, we make the list up as we go. I mean, we’ve never been here before.”

“Didn’t stop third grade us,” he says. “Honestly, they seemed like they had everything together. We should think more like third grade us.”

“You mean complaining about how much things cost? Because I can think of so many things we could do together that would put major dents in our wallets.”

Sunghoon turns to you, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and you know you’ve got this right, even if it took a while to get here. He reaches over, poking your cheek, before turning out of the parking lot. “Then let’s go find it, together.”

#kdiarynet #kwritersworld #kflixnet #k-labels #enhypen fluff #enhypen headcanons #enhypen scenarioes #enhypen imagines #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon headcanons #sunghoon scenarioes #sunghoon imagines #enhypen #fluff #angst #college!au #ftl

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dckweed · 2 years

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Billy Hargrove x female hopper! reader smut /fluff where the reader is hopper/Joyce’s daughter (Byers /hopper family dynamic) and the reader has been sneaking out at night to get railed by billy. One day hopper is patrolling around lovers lake and the reader and billy are going at it and hopper taps on the window with his flash light telling Hargrove to cut it out but doesn’t know the reader is there, but one day when el, Jonathan, the reader, will, hopper and Joyce are having a family dinner Jonathan keeps poking fun at the reader for spotting her with billy in the hallways at school but she says it’s nothing and they continue with dinner. As they finish up Joyce spots bruises (like hand mark shaped bruises which were ovbvi from billy and hers sexual encounters) on the readers neck and she gets worried that billy may have done something to her so asks her what happened thinking the reader got hurt, and the reader keeps telling her it’s nothing and then hopper walks in and sees the bruises too and starts raising his voice so she tells them that no one hurt her and she explains without exposing and they catch on, and hopper realizes that she was the one with billy that night.

okay so i saw this come in and immediately i was actually excited to do this bc i already see it going in my brain, and technically i have one ahead of this and im so so sorry bc i was not expecting this to take me two whole days to write but omg here you go. this definitely has to be one of the longest ones ive ever written and i definitely want to do a part two bc i think it turned out super super good.

let me know what you think bby !!

warnings: minors do not read. sexual plot, choking, bruising, semi-public sex, almost getting caught, please wear condoms, this is purely for fictional pleasure only! Also fluff, angry parents, sibling dynamic! alot of flabbergasted hopper at the end lmao.

anywhore, i present you:

Part Two

' NOT PARENT FRIENDLY ' billy hargrove x female! reader

Now look, you were a good girl okay? You kept your head down, your grades up, you stayed out of trouble, you did the right things, you were co-captain of the Hawkins High Cheer squad, and you were the best big sister you could be to Eleven, who adores you almost more than she adores eggos. But that didn't mean that you didn't know how to be a bad girl, because believe you me, good girls are just bad girls that haven't been caught. Well, that is until tonight however, or almost anyway.

Your father was working the night shift, policing the now oddly quiet town of Hawkins through the evening and into the early morning hours, and you figured it was the perfect time to sneak out and see your boyfriend who was only your boyfriend in secret, which upset you but god you were addicted to him in ways that you didn't even think were possible to become addicted to someone.

In other words, he had you dick whipped. But even besides that, you had been drawn to him. Sure, he was a dick and a half at all hours of the day when he was around people who weren't you, and you knew that that was just a front because he didnt want to look weak around them, he didnt want them to see him the way his father did. It made your heart hurt for him, but you knew he didnt like to talk too much about it, which is why you hardly ever asked and chose to cherish the moments you had alone with him, where he was sweet and loving, almost dorky even.

Billy Hargrove wasn't what people thought he was, and you just wished you could show that to the world some day, but you couldn't. With a sigh you finish brushing your hair and turn to your little sister with a flourish. "What do you think, El?" You ask, looking at her hopefully. You had done the bare minimum of lip gloss, and had slicked your hair back with some barrettes, hoping you looked cute but still innocent enough, something that always manages to drive Billy crazy.

Eleven laid on her bed, reading a book on her stomach as you primped yourself in your shared mirror. "We're not supposed to leave.." She says, looking at you. "But you look pretty..you always look pretty."

"Sweetie, what dad doesn't know won't hurt him." You says, leaning against the dresser for a moment. You knew you were risking alot, you'd never been on your father's bad side before and sure enough this would be the thing that would put you there, but you were willing to risk it, in your teenaged brain it was completely worth the wrath of your father if you got caught. "Can you keep a secret for me?" You ask, just as a car honks from outside. You perk up, that was Billy. You had called him half an hour ago and as usual, he was punctual. "Please, El? I don't get to see him any other time.."

El nods, just as Billy honks a second time and you squeal, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before running through the dark living room and out of the front door.

"About damn ti-" You cut him off mid sentence, giving him a nice long kiss, your hand in his hair. You pull away from him, noticing the slightly dazed look on his face. "What was that for?" He asks, reversing out of the driveway.

You shrug, buckling your seatbelt. "I missed you." Is all you say, giving him a small, happy smile. He says nothing, but places his hand over your thigh, giving it a nice squeeze with his large, warm hands.

Billy wasn't a sweetheart by any means, but he did have is sweet moments, and one of them seemed to have been tonight. He decided that he'd take you on a little dinner date and brought you to your favorite pizza parlor, where he even ordered your favorite pizza for you while you went to the restroom because even though he hated to admit it, he really did know you that well.

You sat across from him, gabbing on about how your day had gone, telling him about how you wanted to sucker punch your co-captain after she had been mean to some of the newer girls on the team, you really hated her some times. He sat and he listened, something that you absolutely loved because you knew that he was actually listening. You looked at him for a moment, your face flushing. "Im sorry, I'm talking to much..you could've just told me to shut up."

Billy looks at you, a small smile on his face. God, he really did like you more than he had planned to. "Nah baby, I love it when you tell me about your day." He says, his voice soft. Billy wasn't usually this quiet of a person, he always has something to say so you knew that something must have been bothering him. The bruise forming on his jawline told you that he must have gotten into it with his dad before he came to get you, it was small, and if you didn't know his face so we'll, you wouldn't have noticed it. "What?"

You shake your head, knowing that he didnt care to talk about his home life, and you didn't like to pry, but you wished you knew how to help in some other way beside getting your dad involved.

"You ready?" He asks, grabbing his leather coat off the chair next to him before grabbing your hand. He has been craving your embrace all day, and he had been looking forward to your call all night.

You nod, following him to the car.

You loved your nights with Billy, infact, some days you even craved them, though you often worried that he used your time together as a way to get his frustrations out about what went on at home, his anger at his dad being vented out during your sexual encounters.

You didnt stop him, you didn't mind the pain, hell it actually made your orgasm all the more better and tonight was no different, though he was alot rougher than he had ever been before.

Once you had gotten to lovers lake he had wasted no time in pushing you to the back seat, giving your ass a smack as you climbed between the front seats, your ass on full display for him.

He was on you in seconds, his mouth kissing yours roughly, his hands gripping you tightly. You pushed his clothes out os the way as easily as you could, your legs spread around him as you pushed his jeans down past his hips, his beautifully thick cock springing free from it's confounds.

You hum appreciatively at the sight, looking up at him as you wrap your hand around it, giving it a nice long stroke. He grinds his hips up into your hand, enjoying the feeling of you touching him. He groaned, his kiss moving from your lips to your jaw line, and down your neck, slowly rising your shirt above your bra as he lets his hands cup one of your breasts, kneading it gently with his fingers. You buck your hips up, rubbing against him at the contact.

You could tell that he was trying to be gentle, sweet even, and you loved the gesture but you knew what he needed, you let go of his cock, taking his face in your hands. He looks at you quizzically, worried almost. You brush your thumb over the still forming bruise, that's harder to see in the dark of his car, and you meet his eyes.

"Fuck me, Billy..whatever you need to do, however you want me..please, baby.." He closes his eyes, a long breath coming from his nostrils.

He opens them again, his hand going up to your hair, running his hand over the top of your head. He knew exactly what you meant, and honestly, without even knowing it, in that moment he had completely fallen head over heels in love with you, because how could he not when you're the only person that had ever seen through him like that? "Are you sure baby? What if I hurt you?" He asks, he was worried that he wouldn't be able to stop, that maybe you wouldnt want him anymore afterwards.

You shake your head, giving him a small smile. "You won't, Billy.." You says, giving his face a light squeeze between your hands. He nods once, his lips lingering over yours in a gentle kiss almost as if to say thank you.

You definitely didn't regret your choice in the moment, and god you were on your way to your third orgasm, his hips snapping into your pelvic bone almost meanly at this point, your leg cocked over his shoulder, damn near unable to breathe with the way he was applying pressure to your neck with both hands, you just knew his fingers were sure to leave lingering marks and fuck if the idea didn't turn you on farther.

You knew he was getting closer to his orgasm because the meaner he got, the harder he choked, the deeper he fucked you and the louder you got, was usually his tell that he was about to fucking explode.

"Good fucking girl, y/n, good fucking girl letting me fuck you so meanly." He grunts out, his hands still gripping your throat, fuck if he wasn't turned on farther by the fucking dumb little blissful smile you wore on your perfectly plump lips in that moment, or by how red and flushed your face was as you stared up at him. He wondered if he had finally fucked your brain to mush. "Such a pretty little whore taking my cock like it's nothi-" The sound of something knocking on the passenger side window interrupted the two of you and Billy stopped immediately.

"It's almost midnight, Hargrove, cut it out and take the poor girl home." You hear your father's voice call from outside, your eyes going wide. Billy is smart enough to cover you with his body, incase the chief happens to look inside. You give a squeak of fear, wondering if the two of you had been officially caught. You bury your face in his chest, squeezing his biceps in the hopes that your father wouldn't recognize your hair if he happened to look inside. He knocks on the window again, and it sounds like he's using his flashlight, you can see the beam cutting through the rear window. "Zip it up Billy, I'm not playing."

"Yes chief, I understand.." He calls back, trying hard to make sure you stay covered. "Do you mind like, going back to your car though, no need to watch us get dressed, Sir.". Your dad lingers for a second, but you hear his footsteps start to walk away, crunching on the gravel that littered the ground.

"Holy fuck that was close, Billy." You breathe, your legs shaking in fear, or maybe adrenaline. You really weren't sure which. Billy moves off of you, pulling out of you. You can't help the whine that escapes your throat at the feeling, already craving him all over again.

"Oh trust me baby, we aren't finished with this yet.." He says, giving you a cocky smirk as he buttons his shirr before stuffing his cock back into his pants.

You struggle with your shirt, still weak from the fear and from your two orgasms that has honestly rocked your fucking world. He looks at you, almost cheesily smiling at you. He loved it when he made you weak like that, he loved being able to shower you with aftercare, something he'd never wanted to do with someone before. "Here baby.." He says, pulling you closer to him. He helps you with your bra, and your shirt before helping you pull your skirt back down your body. When he's done he gives you a sweet, gentle kiss before helping push you back to the front seat.

"Thank you, Billy.." You say, settling into your seat. You watch him climb back over, settling into the front seat. You shiver a little, it had gotten cold by the lake and without the warmth of his body you were quickly chilled. Without a word he reaches behind you and grabs his jacket from the back, wrapping it over your shoulders.

He drives almost wordlessly, only talking to ask if you're okay, and thankfully you make it home quickly. He pulls info the driveway, and stops. You turn to him. "Im sorry our night was ruined.." you says, feeling horrible. You should have thought more before you told him to go to the lake, you had forgotten that your father was out patrolling tonight.

Billy shrugs, looking at you. "I had a great time, baby.." He says, leaning back in his seat. He watched you, taking in your beauty for a moment, a smile on his face. "maybe that's not the way I wanted it to end, but it wasn't ruined."

You smile, look away awkwardly. "You know, we wouldn't have to sneak around like this if you would just let me tell him about us.."

Billy sighs, he knew that you hated that your entire relationship was a secret, but god he was terrified that your dad wouldn't let him see you again, or that your friends would find out and convince you that he wasn't good enough for you. "I told you baby, I'm not parent friendly.." He says, he sees your face fall, if only for a second before you gather yourself up again.

You give him a smile, leaning over to kiss him gently. "I'll see you tomorrow, baby." You say, although really want to scream how much you love him as you get out of the car.

Eleven is waiting for you inside, her eyes go wide at the sight of the large leather jacket around your shoulders. "Dad's going to ask questions when he sees that." She says, causing you to furrow your eyebrows in fear. You take the coat off immediately, completely forgetting that it was on your shoulders. "And that! Are those his finger prints?"

The next morning went by as smoothly as it could have, you covered what you could of Billy's fingerprints on your neck, although most of the time was spent staring at them almost longingly. He'd left marks before but he'd never left bruises, you hadnt even realized he had been choking you that hard last night.

What couldn't cover in concealer and bronzer, you covered with a turtlenecked long sleeve shirt, it was chilly enough out that morning that you could get by with it without being asked too many questions. You threw on a pair of jeans and your favorite pair of shoes, making sure to stuff his coat into your bag before heading out of your room just in time for a car to honk out front.

You give your dad a brief kiss as El scrambles to get her things, he was leaning against the kitchen counter sipping his morning coffee. "See you for dinner dad, let's go El!"

Jonathan waited for you in the driveway, and smiles when he sees you. "It's a little extreme for turtlenecks, don't you think, Y/N?" He asks as you slip into the front seat, El getting into the back with Will.

Ever since your dad has started seeing Joyce, you and Jonathan had become close, you'd consider him a close friend, and you kind of wished you could ask him for advice about your relationship but you knew he wouldn't keep the secret, he would take it straight to your dad.

"Shut up, it's totally cold enough!" You say, looking at him weirdly as he pulls out of the driveway and heads towards the schools.

It doesn't take long before you're there, and once he's parked you get out of the car immediately, on your way to search for Billy, ignoring Jonathan shouting something after you.

The halls are filled with Hawkins High students, most of which know you. You give them all your best peppy smile, even throwing in a wave to a few of them, you loved being a cheerleader but sometimes it was exhausting having to smile so much, especially when half of the student population never expected to see you in anything but a happy mood.

You find Billy at his locker, which wasn't too far from Jonathan's. "You forgot this, Hargrove." You say, pulling his coat out of your bag, hoping that nobody would take it the wrong way since he still didn't want people knowing about you guys yet.

Billy turns, surprised to hear your voice, he looked you up and down, amused look coming across his face. You tried not to stare at the bruise under his jaw, it was darker than it had been last night. "It's still a bit warm out for a turtleneck, isn't it baby?" He asks quietly, leaning on the locker door slightly. He smirks as your face turns red, you hold his coat out for him. He pushes your arm back to your chest, you furrow your eyebrows at him.

"Keep it, i like the way you look in it." He says, a soft smile on his face as your face turns redder. You notice someone stop just for a moment as they pass. He had thought about it all night, trying not to notice the look of hurt cross your face when he had reminded you that he didn't want people to know about you guys being together. He was afraid of what would happen if people knew, but he was even more afraid of losing you by making you feel like he was ashamed of people finding out, and he could tell by the look on your face that that was beginning to happen. Besides, he was tired of fucking you in his car, he wanted to take you out on actual dates, and go to all of your football games to watch you cheer, he wanted to sneak into your room late at night like a normal person, and even though it terrified him, he wanted to meet your father like a man, not someone that's been fucking his daughter in the back of his car almost every night. "Besides, it'll keep that Byers boy off your back, I hear he likes to steal people's girls away." He sent a look to Jonathan, who was open mouthed staring at the two of you from his locker, Nancy by his side.

You roll your eyes at him, holding his coat to your chest, breathing in his cologne slightly. You loved the way he smelled, and you'd be lying if you said that you didn't sleep with it in your bed last night. "Jonathan is a good friend, he's like my brother now that my dad is dating his mom." You say, but you understood what he was saying without actually saying the words. You honestly couldn't have been more excited, you were practically vibrating in your shoes. "Are you sure?" You whisper, cocking your head at him quizzically. You didn't want him to feel like you were pushing him.

Billy rolls his eyes at you, he hated that you were so selfless sometimes, willing to living so unhappily just so he could be comfortable, but it was also one of the things he loved most about you. "Come here, I miss you." He says, hooking his finger into the collar is the turtleneck to pull you closer. He pulls you in for a sweet, gentle kiss, knowing that almost everyone in the hallways had turned to stare at the two of you. He pulls away, finger still in your turtleneck but pulled down a little. He sees the bruises and his eyes go wide, face paling. "Oh shit, baby, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you.." He whispers, pulling the shirt back up so no one would see. "Why didn't you tell me to stop if I was doing it that hard?" He asks, closing his locker to walk you to yours.

You blush some more, smiling up at him. "Because it didn't hurt that bad, I liked it." You say, deciding to put his jacket on as you walked, making him hold your bag so you could. You actually were cold though, despite everyone's teasing. "I'll have to skip cheer though, I have to wear my hair up..or just put my uniform over my shirt, we do that in the winter anyway..I just didn't think to pack my uniform turtleneck."

The day at school was awkward, and after waiting at Billy's car for Jonathan and the kids to get out, you gave him a deep, longing kiss good bye, damn near spitting out an i love you when Jonathan started honking his horn at you. "I'll call you later!"

You run to his car, climbing into the passenger seat, smiling at Will and El in the back. "Family dinner right? Im starving." You say, situating yourself. You notice Jonathan hasn't started driving the car and you turn to look at him only to find him already looking at you. "What?"

"Billy Hargrove?" He asks, a little unbelieving. "Billy Freaking Hargrove is who you've been sneaking out at night to see?" Okay so you had told him that you'd been seeing someone, just not who you'd been seeing. "Your dad is going to flip his lid, i think he might actually shit bricks when he finds out, y/n."

"I'll handle my dad, Jonathan." You say, looking at him pointedly. "I wasn't planning on telling him tonight, I need to butter him up first." You purse your lips, thinking. You figured you'd have to play a card that you hadn't played in a long time, daddy's little princess. "So, that being said, leave Billy alone he's a sweetheart on the inside, he's just a little rough on the edges."

You ignore Jonathan's scoff and stay silent the rest of the ride, happily getting out once you reach the Byers' house. You could already smell the food cooking and your mouth watered, your stomach growling in response. "God i love it when Joyce cooks." You say, walking into the house.

You make your way to the kitchen, setting your bag down by the kitchen table. "Hey," You say giving the woman a side hug from where she stands at the stove. "Ooh is that my favorite?" You ask, she leans s against you, happy smile on your face.

"It certainly is, how was your day?" She asks, and you grin. You planned on telling her about everything later, she had definitely become like a mom to you and you wouldn't mind the advice you knew she could give. "Oh? What's that grin for?"

"I'll tell you later." You say, going towards the living room, giving her a wink. She just chuckles and turns back to the stove.

You play with El and Will for a couple of hours, different board games coming and going, Will joined in on a few as well, the two of you often made it too intense with your sibling rivalry. You were just about to beat him in candy land when your father walked in.

You jump up immediately and head to him. "Hey dad, how was your day?" You ask, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. You didn't notice the look that Jonathan, Will and Eleven all shared with each other or the one that your father gave you.

"Uneventful, thank god." He says, patting the top of your head with one of his beefy hands. "Smells good in here, Joyce!"

It wasn't long before you all sat down for dinner together, you and Jonathan had even helped set the table, you sat across from him, next to Will as everyone started digging in.

The table was quiet for a while, until Joyce decided to make conversation. "So, how was everyone's day?" She asks, looking around the table before landing on you. "Y/N, you seemed like you had a good day.."

You notice Jonathan's shit eating smirk and you glare at him, trying to silently tell him to keep his mouth shut. He stares directly at you as he speaks. "Oh she definitely did, you seemed awful cozy with that Billy Hargrove in the hallways this morning, you were giving him back his coat rig-ow!" You kick him harshly under the table, your strong legs making rough contact with his shins.

"Oh?" Joyce asks, eyebrows furrowed. You notice your dad turn to look at you as well. "He gave you his coat? That's sweet."

You shake your head, your cheeks flushing. "It was nothing really, we did a project together the other day after school and I got cold so he gave it to me, I was just giving it back is all." You say, going back to your food. Jonathan makes a noise and you kick him under the table again, making the silverware shake.

"You sure it was nothing?" Your father asks, looking over you with those quizical eyes that always seem to know everything is a lie. You just nod at him, a mouth of food.

Your father doesn't say anything else, and neither does Jonathan. You decide to help Joyce after dinner, and start helping her wash the dishes. It's warm in the room, and subconsciously you pull at the neck of your shirt trying to give yourself some air, not realizing that Billy's fingerprints were on full display like that.

Joyce is mid sentence, talking about something that you weren't particularly playing attention to, and she stops abruptly, looking at your neck. You quickly snap the turtle neck back into place and excuse yourself to go use the bathroom.

You run down the hall, wondering how much of it she had seen. How the fuck were you supposed to explain that?

"Shit!" You hiss, turning in the bathroom sink so no one would hear you. You calm your nerves, and after a few moments you decide to go back out and act like nothing had happened. As soon as you step out of the bathroom you're dragged across the hall to her room and tossed in, the door closing behind you. "What the hell, Joyce?"

She flips the light on, looking at your worriedly. "Y/N, why are there fingerprints on your neck?" She asks, walking towards you. You sit on the bed, you knew you were screwed. You feel her fingers play with the collar is the shirt for a moment, almost as if she was scared to see it before pulling it down all the way rolling it so it would stay put. "Jesus Christ, these are from both hands..who did this to you? Was it that Billy that Jonathan was talking about? Jim! Jim come to the bedroom!" She yells, you try to stop her, but he's already in the room before it's too late, thinking something had happened.

"What?" He asks, looking around for danger. His eyes land on you and they go wide. "What the fuck, y/n,?! Who the hell hurt you like that? Im going to kill that fucking Hargrove boy-" He says already making his mind up about the situation.

He turns to leave and panicked you tell him to stop. "Daddy, stop!" You say, standing up from the bed. "Nobody hurt me, especially not Billy, he wouldn't ever do that okay?" You say, tears welling in your eyes at the thought of your father going to beat the shit out of him, you knew Billy wouldn't stand a chance.

Jim and Joyce share a look. "What do you mean?" He asks, taking his hand off of the doorknob. He was trying very hard not to be confused by your words.

You look at him, at both of them, your mouth opening and closing as you try to find the right words to say without embarrassing everyone in the moment. "I, um..gee how do i say this.." You say to yourself, looking down at the floor before taking a deep breath and giving both adults a sheepish sort of look. "I..well, to be quite frank, i liked it, okay?"

Both of them were completely confused for a moment, and it seemed to click with Joyce quickly. "Oh..oh.. alrighty then that's..more than I needed to know." She says, fidgeting awkwardly with her close as she tried not to look you in the eye, she didn't actually think that that would ever come out of your mouth.

Your father was taking a little longer, but you could see the wheels turning in his brain as his eyes start to widen. Suddenly he's pointing at you, one hand covering his mouth in shock, fear? maybe disgust? You couldn't quite tell. "Oh my god that was you last night.." He says, the realization finally coming full circle. "What the fuck were you doing out of the house?" He asks before his eyes wide farther. "What the fuck were you doing in the back of Billy Hargrove's car?! Oh Jesus don't actually answer it!" He says when he sees your mouth open. He slides a hand over his face, looking at Joyce almost panickedly, you can see his chest rising and falling almost rapidly, you wondered if he was hyperventilating. "I..I need to sit." He mutters, sinking onto the bed. Joyce takes the spot next to him, and you decide that now is probably a good time to go.

You sneak out of the room quietly and back down the hallway. Everyone is gathered in the living room and then to stare at you. "I think I broke our parents.." You say, not noticing Jonathan's wide eyes, you had forgotten to roll your shirt back up. "It's not what you think!"

#stranger things #stranger things smut #stranger things s2 #billy hargove smut #billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove #jonathan byers x reader #hopper #hopper x reader #jonathan byers #jim hopper

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chirpins · 17 days

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your vampire noah au has me hooked immediately, i had to come here and ask you questions after reading.

first things first, your half vampire tag. what exactly does that entail? it could mean anything. are there going to be other character's who are a vampire?

secondly, what are the other ships mentioned in the tags? are they going to be important enough to mention any time soon? or can we know them now.

thirdly, is this going to be based off of stakes? with its recent departure from the fandom, a lot of people are missing it. is there a reason you posted this when you did, so close to its deletion?

is fourthly a word?

fifthly, what does the soulmate tag mean? i've never seen it used in that way before.

sixthly (?), can you tell us anything about it? fun facts, i mean.

seventhly (i'm just winging it at this point), does noah being bitten on his ankle have any plot relevance to it? given that it wasn't on his neck?

that's all i can think of for now.

woaaah this is like .. one of the longest asks ive ever seen. sorry it took me so long to reply, i really had to think on how i would respond to this..!

well, lets start in order.. lets seeee..

mm i dont know if i can answer this in a way that isnt spoilery or holds plot relevance. sorry if that doesnt help ur curiosity, but rest assured it will be addressed in the fic itself so .. just stay tuned!

i dont see how it would be any spoilers to say this, so ill just come out and do so already! one of the main background ships is geoff/gwen/bridgette. they are just so cute to me, and id like to make it clear the three of them are all dating each other. there is also going to be eva/izzy, of course; and owen/izzy (izzy has two hands). another ship im entertaining the idea of is possibly duncan/dj? but neither of those two are going to have much relevance to the story. actually, funny story, this was supposed to be an alejandro/noah/heather fic, but i totally forgot to tag it as such. im debating on if i want to keep it that way afterall, or have it stay just alenoah.. i guess we'll see the further i write. there is some others but those are a bit spoilery so, stay tuned..!

uhh.. i feel like thats a very weird thing to ask? but, i guess you could say i was inspired after reading stakes? i began writing this last month (pictured below) so i wouldnt say i wrote and posted this just because stakes got deleted. actually, i wasnt going to post this fic at all until i had at least 5 chapters written for it, or all of it written, but i got too excited after finishing writing chapter 2 so.. teehee...

i THINK it is..!

teehee i cant saaay.. much. what i can say is it being 'non-typical' is important. its nothing like soul bounds themselves. how youd think of a soulmate 'au' is not what this is, nobody are soulmates. but .. well.. sooomething may happen. i will just say, it has something to do with vampire culture.

fun facts, huh..? mmm i really dont know.. tbh not even i think too deeply on this sort of thing.. i guess id say that noah has a lot of moles / freckles everywhere? so him having a bite mark wouldnt really raise suspicion, given that its just two puncture wounds. i dont know, im sorry! i guess ill have to think on this some more.. im sort of entertaining the idea that theres more to the universe than just vampires, if this helps. buut,.. i havent decided yet, teehee.

hmm, aside from me thinking itd be funny for him to have a mark on his leg? well... who knows!

anyway, thanks for caring so much to ask me stuff!

#asks #animals do not repent #total drama

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idealspawn · 2 months

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hey..... i must say. this has been the best week of my life. and im filled with utter joy. ive had like a.. rebirth? every once in a while i feel like im born again. the transition is really emotional but they are moreso growing pains than destructive pains. im suddenly surrounded by so many great people and possibilities and i finally feel like life is rewarding me, treating me the way i should be treated. in a way im reluctant to owe it to "faith" and see myself as a passive subject rather than an active agent in this but in a way i think i am powerless in some factors regarding this change. next month its my debut in like a culture (?) newspaper! at least they said they are very interested in my analysis but i havent heard back yet about the second version i sent them. i wrote my favourite poem ive ever written. and ive seen so many movies recently that have served as this transitional border. like as this extremely active sphere of both "death" but also birth. like metaphorically. ive been so vulnerable and i love it. ive cried my eyes out like i havent in such a long time and done like... meta analyses about my underlying beliefs to bring change and new energy into my life. you see.. i get really stuck on like.. nominal labels. at first they describe me but it tends to go unnoticed when it no longer fits or serves me and im only living a certain way just because of this nominal structure. but all these nominal structures are made for us. not that we are made to fit them. ive re-evaluated things now.. also out of nowhere people have been reaching out to me. maybe it truly does show up in my energy when im more open. like that it attracts other open, honest, vulnerable people. ive met so many new people and truly felt seen. this is a big thing for me. for the longest time ive struggled to enjoy time with people because ive struggled to find people who i share some kinds of values. i like diverse people but for example people who are open to explore communication on an emotional and relational level rather than only informational. thats important to me. ive been more confident in sharing my opinions too:) and participating in class and in life. going to places where i know id feel a bit uncomfortable and end up surprised. going to places alone is massive for me. it opens me up to new people and experiences because i simply dont have a choice to close myself off with friends im already close with. a woman came to talk to me after a lecture. she said she had been watching how i take notes in class (i write really fast.. i tend to transcribe literally everything the professor says). she said she has studied palaeography and asked to see my notes to analyse my handwriting :) she said its very unusual for people to still write in cursive if they write with the pen very much pointed upwards, however i manage to do so :D. it really made me want to also just reach out to people... like whenever and for whatever reason. and ive noticed people actually like talking to you when youre authentic and awkward. ive restricted my communication with people SO MUCH only due to the fact that i feel like i might not be insanely flawless in my self-expression. the nature too. the season is such that i see birth and death all around me. and its very refreshing. i like seeing change and being reminded of it constantly. it feels liberating. its a season that many people dislike in my country but im in love. i love people. i love physical touch. i love eye contact. i love emotions. i love ideas. i love agency in breaking boundaries. i love feeling seen and important and useful. i love authenticity and vulnerability.

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tokiohotelobsession · 5 months

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north european

tom x female reader

synopsis: youre a 15 year old girl from finland. youre on a vacation with your family in germany, and youre hanging out with tom. tom asks you how your schools been and you get so exited you tell all the drama youve had along the year. ending up not even knowing for how long youve been talking for.

concent: js fluff

a/n: this is the first story ive written please be kind to me 😭 but give creditsss🫶🏻

i met tom when i was on a vacaiton with my family when i was 10. my mom knew a friend from there, and my dad was there just because he was forced to. he is american and thinks germany is just a dumb country. me and tom were together the whole vacation and we were both really sad when i needed to go back to finland. we still held contact and i got my family to go to germany every summer so i could meet tom. now were bestfriends.

we were hanging out in toms room at the time. i got my family to stay in germany for a month and i was so happy. and i got to stay at toms place for the whole month, of course. this is the longest time ive ever been in germany.

i was laughing with tom as he shared a silly story that happened to him in his school last year. it was something like a friend of his had pranked a teacher and the teacher got so scared she called the police. his friend got in big trouble after it. but the funny thing was that, it was all toms idea, and they had made a deal that if toms friend got caught, he couldnt tell the police and teacher that it was toms idea, he had to say it was his.

"thats such a dumb deal, how could he argree to that?" i said laughing.

"i dunno, maybe cause hes dumb as hell?" tom said smiling proudly. that stupid proud smile. i hit him in the shoulder playfully. we were just laughing and chilling when tom came up with a question.

" well what about you, hows school been?" he said tilting his head to the side, looking deeply in my eyes. when he asked me that question, i realized how much drama ive had in school this year with my "friends."

"you wont believe if i tell you" i said smiling. "theres too much drama for it to be real" i said chuckling.

"nooo i love listening to others drama, because in my school everyone just pranks pepole and fails, always" he said. i stayed silent smiling.

"come on, spill the tea!" he said shaking my shoulders. i laughed at his impatience.

"okay, okay, jeez" i said laughing. it never really crossed my mind that i never got the chance to talk to anyone about my drama in school cause all my "friends" were fake and caused the drama.

"so, in the beginning of the school year..." i started. i told every detail of every argument and toms reactions to them were :

"no she did not" or "girl wtf you cant do that" hes reactions were literally priceless. i was a little shocked that he actually cared about my teenage girl drama, most pepole just avoid them.

i didnt even know for how long we were gossipping for, so i looked at toms clock above his door. i took a quick glance, and looked away, but then i snapped. the last time i checked the time it said, 15:09. now its, 18:48, my eyes widened.

"tom we have been talking for like 4 hours!" i said in shock.

"yeah? and? talking is fun with a nice person" tom said calmly, smiling. i was kinda relieved when he said hes fine with it, because many pepole get annoyed of me when i talk too much, but tom didnt.

"oh, so youre not mad?" i asked, still a little unsure if hes actually fine with it.

"why would i be mad? thats such a dumb question" tom chuckled. i smiled a little.

"no but seriouly why would i be mad. i havent seen you in a year. ofcourse i wanna know whats been happening" he said comforting. my smile widened immediately. he smiled back at my reaction.

"but. i dont think you finished your little story, would you like to tell me what happened after that?" he said exited. like some 5 year old fr.

"of course, so..." i continued my little story until the school year ended. when i was done talking, tom was staring at me with his jaw dropped. then he snapped

"how are you still alive, like, after all that?" he said confused, but in a funny way.

"i dunno, its just teenage girl life" i said smiling.

we decided to watch a movie, and when the movie ended, i felt so tired. i pleced my head on his chest, snuggling into him. i didnt really realize i was cuddling him at first but then i asked

"is this okay?" i asked looking at him.

"yeah, of course" he said looking back at me, playing with my hair. then i just closed my eyes, laying my head back at his chest. i didnt fall asleep immediately, but the last thing i heard was

"maybe next year ill be coming to finland" then i fell into a deep sleep

omg sorry if this is cringe but i just felt like i had to write something. and omfg this is shorttt😭 and im sorry if there are any spelling mistakes english is not my first language. and also my messages arent working so if yall have requests please send them in my inbox.🌸

#tom kaulitz #imagines #tokio hotel #new writers on tumblr #cringecore #send requests #inbox open

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oloreandil · 6 months

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20 Q's for Fic Writers

tagged by: @chameliyun, thank you so much <33

1 - How many works do you have on ao3?

131 works so far ! 97 of them are for haikyuu!! and i cannot wait to celebrate my 100 hq fics hehe

2 - What's your total ao3 word count?

323,624 words :0 i didn't think it'd be that much, i tend to write short things, i'm excited to have written so many words !!!

3 - What fandoms do you write for?

i have posted for haikyuu, death note, bnha, yuri on ice, free, breath of fire iv, and fairy tale for some unknown reason XD but i have unposted / unfinished fanfic for a bunch of other things like hunter x hunter or fma

4 - What are your top five fics by kudos?

chat me up has always been my most popular fic and tbh ? yeah i see why XD it is one of the most fun and chatfics were popular at the time. after that come ...or not, blue like the sky, silent trust and saw my momma dad cheese

5 - Do you respond to comments?

yes !! fandom is a community first and foremost for me, and posting is also a way to interact. comments are immensely lovely to get and answer !!

6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ooh probably love me right ?? it's kinda the angstiest i've written... ever. but some nights is also. bad end. solely by virtue of being post apo and not very optimistic about it. i wanna rewrite it someday because i actually really liked that AU and it's not the best right now hmmm

7 - What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

honestly hasetsu tour guides (which is a series but shhh) is the happiest thing i've written ?? it's not the most fun in terms of plot but everyone is content with their life in a way i've not really written a lot

8 - Do you get hate on fics?

nope, not well known enough XD and i'm not complaining about it

9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do ! i have no clue if there's a specific kind i stick to though, most of it isn't even posted or even written past heavy planning. trans cyborg smut is on its way though @notsuchasecret :3

10 - Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i have written or co-written a NUMBER of crossovers. most are not on ao3 yet (or... ever...) but i have posted death note x snow white and hxh x little red riding hood, so. however i do think that owari no seraph x the frog princess (the russian fairy tale) is the wildest one so far !

11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge, but that'd be kinda funny tbh ? imagine coming across your own obscure niche things in the wild. i'd almost be more disappointed it's not a new fic for my teeny fandom corner lmao

12 - What's the longest you've spent working on one fic? And the shortest?

the shortest would probably be a couple hours, for guardian of his king (written in a fugue state at like 3am, after Syb shared the drawing that inspired it. two of us fell in a trance btw, this was a POTENT artwork). the longest... i don't dare calculate... but it is measured in years and i haven't even started writing yet <3

13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?

if you count detailed planning and extensive oral storytelling, many !! my best friend and i are very prolific behind the scenes, to her dismay XD. i thiiiiiink she is the only co-writer i have had ? but i LOVE doing group fics and i'd love to do it with other people

14 - What's your all-time favorite ship? From all fandoms?

"you ask questions i have no answers to" is what i was gonna say and then my brain went "well apart from bokuaka which has to be out of the competition-" so i may have an answer actually hahaha

15 - What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oooh my god that naruto fountain of youth AU is never gonna be written. i have so so so much planned and i sift through and add more from time to time, but like... i pick my battles a little more wisely than this behemoth

16 - What are your writing strengths?

i'm not sure ! i do think writing dialogue is easier for me than most other things, and i love doing fun formatting / narrative constraints

17 - What are your writing weaknesses?

i forget to put down half of the words on the paper so my sentences make no sense and it's horrible to edit <- loves editing. doesn't love when i reread myself and every five sentences i have to think "who tf wrote this and what the hell does it mean. how do you go from here to there ??? oh wait i forgot a sentence again"

18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

english isn't my first language. i write dialogue in another language 99% of the time. i don't think this question really takes into account the amount of ESL writers who are basically always doing this

to stay closer to what the question was meant to ask though, i have written sentences, in the middle of english fics, in languages that me or most readers don't speak. it is usually either a LONG process of looking up grammar rules, vocabulary, existing sentences etc... or what i did once, "write with mistakes because the person is learning the language still"

it is good imo to have characters speak their native tongue, or to add your own HCs onto characters and make them speak in their new native tongue, but it can be done more or less respectfully and more or less clearly. how do you include a translation, if at all ? is it jarring in the flow of your fic ? what about inserting song lyrics in another language ? it's a case by case basis for me tbh, and as a reference i really love how yuri on ice did it during the anime

19 - First fandom you wrote for?

i don't recall what i first wrote for exactly but i first posted for death note in 2015 :0 a while back !!

20 - Favourite fic you've written?

i don't have one at the moment, my criteria isn't defined enough these days. maybe some will jump out more later as they did in the past but for now i can say i love most of my children equally lmao

it took me a while to answer, sorry, and i'm too tired to tag anyone but DO feel free to say i tagged you if you wanna do it !!!!!!!

#thanks again <33 #olorea talks #friend tag #fanfic #txt

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misqnon · 20 days

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its... its... its marchm.... its march OFF anon... u can keep calling me march if u want. or rowan.. im not picky.. i have many names.. i keep writing these when im very tired and i get super rambly,, forgive me..

idk i think enemies to lovers is just .. i get too angry... when they're actually enemies.. im the type to REALLY hold a grudge and like. file away every single wrong done to me.. and i cant help but also do that with fictional characters. yeah i swear im healthy... i swear... YOUD DO THAT FOR ME?? and how ... how could i ever repay u.. but actually do whatever u want!! i do Not Like telling ppl what to do LMAO because i hate it when its done to me (i might have a bit of pda autism). if u did hanyagellan fanfic for me i would be eternally grateful and probably Die. but if u didnt i would be perfectly fine :)

i forgot kidd doesnt really appear much til wano .. i read wano ages ago so he is just like . a permanent member in my brain now. i think of him and luffy and law as a trio and then i remember that wait.. it was only luffy and law for the longest time... anyways hes awesome. he definitely has tits to rival zoro. and killer is also awesome.. i love killer. in my head killer is a very nice sweet guy. and then i remember his name is apparently massacre soldier killer. and that kidd and his crew murder innocent people. and its like oh right ... theyre not just.. funny little guys ... they're evil funny little guys... also kidd is SCOTTISH?? imagine him with that accent. wonderful. perfect. it suits him so well.

ive seen t4t frobin and i do Love it. i do.. i also love tjem as just wonderful allies. idk either way theyre lovely

i also read on tcbscans!!! i dont really read the comments all that much (shockingly, because i love to read comments on other platforms) but IM SO GLAD!! UVE HEARD IT!!!

oda has..... a Problem.... looks at mitsutoshi shimabukuro and nobuhiro watsuki. (pedophiles he has supported) anyways yeah it's like . its .. its so disgusting. i loved kyros so much and like . it was ruined!!! it was ruined for me!!! WHY in my favorite arc. i think its valid to count shirahoshi. there is literally no reason to make it so the underage characters are supposed be attractive. they did it with rebecca too,, like she couldve easily just worn leather or something under her armor. but she didnt. shes supposed to be sexy. as a 16 year old. and actually it gets worse later in the story!! so look forward to that!! /s

MORE TONIGHT HELL YEAH!!!! (by the time i finish writing this u will probably have already read the chapters LOL). i actually adore chiffon and lola (i saw u talk abt this so..) and i also think its bc theyre not meant to be attractive. oda can only write women well when theyre not supposed to be sexy (im exaggerating bc nami and robin are well written, its just. theyre not as dynamic and interesting after the time skip). also i Love bege and chiffons weird little baby . he has stubble . wonderful. i love that bege baby talks to him unashamedly. an actually good father in one piece?? its rare but it DOES happen!!

i actually watched the first episode of the live action today!!! and yeah i decided i do NOT like mackenyu's acting as zoro. i dont really blame mackenyu for it bc i assume its an issue with the producers or writers or whatever wanting to make him more badass,, but i kind of cant stand it. he has the cool guy vocal fry.... i hate it... i hate that. i looked up videos of mackenyu in like. regular settings! and he seems like a genuinely cool person!! i think if he could channel his regular energy into zoro more.. it would be perfect . i would say that is the perfect zoro. to be fair though he could relax a bit with the cool guy thing later on in the show and i just don't know it yet bc i only watched episode one (holding out hope that thats what happens). overall . besides my issues with zoro being too cool n serious and monotone.. it was actually really enjoyable!! the kobylu moment where theyre stargazing together?? hello??? hello???? for the record i dont really ship kobylu but i do enjoy the ship.. does that distinction make sense.. i hope it does. and also zoro has freckles. i cant get over that... freckles ... he has freckles.. there r a few choices i didnt like (that i cant remember rn) but it was a fun watch!!!!

I WOULD SHOW U BUT . BUT ITS JUST .. ITS JUST HER HEAD .. I DIDNT DRAW SHOULDERS OR ANYTHING... i just wanted to get down my most basic of ideas .. i swear the moment i draw a fem sanji im happy with.... u will see her.

haha.. so dada.. and . abrina.. am..abro.. abromava.. marina abromavia.. abromavic of him . yeah. so dada and marina abromavic of him . ok but i looked up marina abromavic and!! "rest energy" i know that one!! (thats all i know.. though dada looks familiar)

i love the secret freaks

"[eyebags the size of dinner plates]" is so funny,, i always wanted to move house as a child . just once. i thought it was very cool and trendy when people in my class said they were moving. and also i didnt like my neighborhood (i still dont). i know now that moving is not what i had thought it to be. as a child.

very soon!! (now)

i definitely played games online as a kid but i also like. was on websites i should not have been on (deviantart) as young as 10. my old youtube comments arent that bad to look back on, sometimes theyre kind of funny, but i imagine finding any of my old accounts on any other website would be very upsetting 😭. i dont know if i ever deleted my accounts or if theyre all still out there . for me to come across at any time. (though i doubt i ever will, considering i havent in the 10+ years since)

i also try not to put anything else out there, but sometimes i (stupidly . very stupidly) decide to just. not care that much. i have just accepted that people have probably found photos of me as a child online (not that i remember posting anything from before i was like 15 but. still) and i. just live with the constant assumption that i am being watched. im a very paranoid person sometimes so i know if i stress out about whatever is online about me it will literally turn into an existential crisis

uhh thats all kind of (really) heavy sorry about that!!

tbh with anime... betrayal is always possible. i started an anime called usagi drop a few years ago and then stopped because i. got bored? maybe? and whoops, turns out they have a romantic relationship. thank god i dropped it

i was actually looking up vocaloid stuff yesterday.. learning The History (i was watching kaito x gakupo mmd's) and i found out nyan cat?? was vocaloid?? originally?? and the version that got popular was utauloid?? i used to play 10 hour nyan cat videos on the tv. this was a monumental discovery. i love finding out that niche internet communities are like . the beginning . of a huge internet meme.. its seriously so interesting. plus i recognized a lot of older popular vocaloid songs!! i had no idea it had seeped so much into my life . without me knowing it.

i was kind of tempted to go see kikuo and bo en live!! im kind of?? a bo en fan?? i listened to that song that was in omori before omori was out (i still dont really know what omori is) and i like a few other songs by them but im not really someone who likes musical artists. i just like a few songs,, or one song,, from an artist,, and then nothing else. i do like quite a few of kikuo's songs though!! most of all i was just tempted bc the timing was right and i noticed they were coming to a city nearby. didnt end up going bc i couldnt justify it!! did u have a good time!? also i saw the miku expo experience,, in portland.. where they just got what was visibly just,, a tv. even as someone who is a Beginner vocaloid fan.. that is so disappointing

my aphantasia isnt really that bad and its not something i notice most of the time, so it doesn't really get in the way. i kind of think it might help me in art because i dont get stuck on the blank canvas part, trying to picture what to draw? idk ive heard a lot of ppl talk abt that being a struggle. i just jump right into it since i cant come up with anything most of the time anyways. other times tho i can picture things very clearly.. i think part of the aphantasia is just that i have autism. and adhd. and i cant concentrate well enough to picture things a lot of the time, especially when i actually want to. most of the time the things i successfully picture are involuntary

i dont know why they dont anymore but no!! they dont!! i havent actually tried to look up the reason or if this is a permanent thing. i should.. it might also just be that its not being scanned or its not included in digital files.. idk . any number of things. ok i checked and i found a translation on reddit of the volume 107 sbs, but its not in the tcb scans . so i have to assume its just that they dont have the scans for the sbs, and oda is still doing it consistently?? either way its not easy to find

oda canon skin tones should be IGNORED.. too boring... as for the women. he has literally devolved. nami and robin pre timeskip... come back... please.

i get posts u reblogged from like. the beginning of march.. sometimes.. that feels like ages ago... i actually want to interact with a lot of the things u reblog bc theyre good.. and half of it is stuff i mean to reblog anyways but havent. but i dont wanna spam u. and i definitely would spam u. on accident. but still..

idk if u use tiktok at all (i didnt used to but i have been zoomerpilled or whatever the kids would say ..) but there was an audio that got pretty popular that's like. "you can call me anything! you can even call me dookie! ...... NEVER CALL ME DOOKIE!!" and THAT WAS IVA IN IMPEL DOWN!! anyways watching that scene in impel down as a kid.. was very influential. it probably is why i identified as genderfluid for a bit?? i had never really seen any trans characters before or met any trans people in real life. so when i saw . trans characters. i was like wow... u can do that? thats allowed? it was mindblowing. picture me with big sparkly eyes full of wonder.

"transgenderism is a thrilling character trait" is extremely funny wording. i think he HAS done some research (it shows in his most recent trans characters, my issues with yamato aside) but when he made the newkamas.... yeah.... i dont know if he really thought about what kind of life experiences they would have. as trans people. or whether he was even portraying them well. it really was just "hey this would be a funny character.." and then there they were.

i love all 3 of the fishman princes and actually i am very thankful the other 2 (i can never remember their names... ryuboshi and.. something.. sorry guys..) arent just like . The same character copy and pasted. but i agree!! that moment broke my heart. u poor kids :(. ive never seen d gray man so this was probably (?) my first introduction to noahs ark in . anime,, manga. im rly excited for whenever the scene will be. where everyone boards.. and .. idk .. is led to the dawn of the new world.. or whatever they say is supposed to happen

YEAH I WANT TEENAGE CHOPPER!!! he can still be a wholesome guy but please .. please.. treat him a LITTLE BIT like .. a teenager.. the teenager he is. i love horn point chopper . i wish we could see all his forms a bit more. i also wish for more chopper angst like .. i loved when they fought aokiji right before water 7 because it had a really great chopper moment. he was directing the other crewmates on what to do and it was so high tension and emotional,,, i miss that.

ok i agree zoro getting lost is timeless. i see jokes abt it everywhere and i dont even mind. i didnt like nami's slapstick joke in the beginning but ive kinda become neutral about it. i dont find it funny but i dont dislike it either. brook panties joke is gross ... gross old man. but i thought it was very funny when he asked camie for money because she didnt have any panties. making him from a creep into just a pathetic old guy would be funny imo. actually i do like brook's skull jokes mostly bc theyre so lame. im a fan of jokes so bad theyre good. and now 80% of the time he gets ignored... and i find that funnier. ill laugh at ur jokes brook.. i swear... ill laugh.

literally the whole setting of water 7 was so interesting and cool and . i adored it. the aqua laguna,, part of the city being underwater bc the water level keeps rising. the canals!! the water horses!! its all so fun. i actually do love the frobin moments in enies lobby, and i love kaku, and i love the "i want to live" moment, but other than that i dont have much i found super exciting.. oh and the moment with the merry at the end of it. that broke me . why give me hope and then rip it away from me!! oda always does this. /pos though.

what about,,, sanji except he wears colored contacts sometimes just to confuse the crew. "your eyes were brown yesterday what the fuck happened??"

"[clanging my sanji gavel] order in the court" SANJI GAVEL,,,, THATS FUNNY

"if there’s multiple types of conqueror’s haki it it like..all based on one guy? one original conqueror ?? and who was it…" ough ur so smart for this.. i never considered that..

zoro is Definitely favored with op stuff. i do think he is usually considered second mate so its like... kind of fair imo? but at the same time... yeah... oda could spread the wealth a little. make everyone else have more development rather than just focusing on zoro.

i see ur shanks argument and i counter with all humans are ugly sometimes.. that picture is fantastic though hes really ratting it up

cora and doflamingo are so giant .. and they came from 2 very normal sized parents. maybe its their diet...?? no but.. they were extremely poor for several years... idk one piece is so wild. like what do u mean geko moria is just a regular human. hes not even a different race... he just grew like that.. i think its funny to imagine the evil characters feeling awkward because they dont have a seat and just .. crossing their arms and pretending to be cool. i didnt see that doflamingo post but i looked it up and he really is like a cat. birdcat.. catbird.. sitting right in the middle.

i dont know if i ever have moments where i think "luffy wouldnt do this" because honestly i dont think im very good at character analysis. i really struggle to feel connected to and like i understand people or characters,, maybe its just because i tend to assume theres depth where there might not be. or maybe i just severely underestimate myself LOL. but i do 100000% agree oda should take notes from his own character... like luffy is so non judgemental and. idk. hes so easy to aspire to be like. everyone could benefit from being like luffy or having someone like luffy in their life. i completely agree that he doesnt acknowledge? accept? understand? gender roles. and this is why luffy is genderfluid /hj. but yes i get u!!!

im so glad we have come to a mutual understanding about cannibalism. i am joining u.

THE LUFFY IMAGE.. ok im coming

ok ur headcanons..

i headcanon lesbian sanji . until i see sanuso... and then... i lose all strength in my beliefs .... sanji is a transfem bisexual and she is dating usopp. <- i find it funny that im like that bc i was hardcore like "sanji is a lesbian." "i wont ship usopp with anyone bc of kaya" (i dont like shipping characters when i think theyll end up with another character bc i am very sensitive to disappointment) and i have thrown my beliefs out the window bc i love sanuso so much. also do u have a screenshot or anything of the sbs question bc i dont remember seeing that /gen. i want to see.. i want to see the bisexuality with my own eyes...

i agree zoro is gay. i also have recently been converted to the zoro is transmasc .. train? what . u know what i mean hopefully. i also dont ship zolu bc luffy is hardcore aroace (and if i shipped him with anyone it would be koby as a mostly one sided thing) but they do have a fun relationship and i enjoy seeing zolu content.. tbh im not picky abt shipping most of the time as long as it isnt proship. most ships im just like "i understand the appeal" and dont have many feelings beyond that

lesbian nami is so true. i understand it after rereading.. i see the gay in her.

i think i mentioned t4t frobin earlier in the post but yeah,, even as cishet allies theyre wonderful.. good people. cute couple.

i see straight usopp and i also see bi usopp. no matter what ,,, he likes women for sure. i also saw transmasc usopp and i actually love it.. transmasc usopp.

brook could be anything tbh. i dont really have strong opinions abt his sexuality but i enjoy bisexual brook. its even alliterative!!

chopper is a reindeer... a BI, TRANS reindeer

ok ur too educated and cultured for me... i know zorro and rudolph and pinocchio but i honestly dont know the rest. i live under a rock and dont usually bother to learn about new things (unless its like. current events. or any of my niche interests)

i actually adore rudolph though and yeah when i realized chopper is rudolph . i was very excited. the rudolph the red-nosed reindeer from 1964 is my favorite christmas movie ever. i genuinely adore it. also im pretty sure the person who made that movie is lgbtq and purposefully put lgbtq themes into the movie. i always felt a connection to rudolph bc my child mind thought of him as trans and gay without really realizing that was what i assumed him to be lmao. i dont remember if the lgbtq themes actually involve rudolph himself but thats who i identified with as a kid and i will stick by it. anyways that is why chopper is transmasc and bi in my headcanons haha

uhhh uhhhh.. to end the message..

OH SHIT OFF ANON!!! do u know how funny it would have been if u came off anon and i was thinking u were a completely different blog somehow. i would have cried

ur reasoning for not liking enemies to lovers is very valid but i laughed thinking about zosan making out or something and ur just standing there like NO…..YOU SHOULD BE ANGRY,.,...KILL!!!

i really doubt i will have the time to write hanyagellan but it sounds so novelty and fun that IDK MAYBE SOMEDAY N FSVNF DC

I HAVE LITERALLY TALKED ABOUT HOW KID LAW AND LUFFY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAIN 3 OF THE WORST GENERATION BUT ITS MOSTLY JUST LUFFY AND LAW AND THEN KIDD’S THERE LIKE 🧍”me and you and you and me and you and your friend steve”

i have only really seen fanon killer which yea does not give the murder of innocents vibe but you know what. thats ok sometimes silly happy little guys are just murderers and thats ok- no i literally did not. realize kids crew did that. LMFAO well i like doffy so clearly this isnt gonna change much for me. but scottish kid…thats fuckign PERFECCT …KIDD….KID MY BELOVED

oh yeah oda’s weird pedo tendencies are uhh 100% my least favorite thing about him. the sexualization of the 16 year olds usually makes me have to pause for that day and come back later cause it just ruins it for me. WHAT DO U MEAN IT GETS WORSE 😭😭😭 NOOOOOO

ur absolutely correct btw. abt how his well-written women have to be ugly. dnf,mvcd like yea nami and robin exist but they have been a bit sidelined in terms of development meanwhile the characters that are both sexualized and well written…i can barely pay attention to their writing bc it feels undermined by the intense sexualization.

bege’s baby is terrible. irs terrible i hate it. but it makes me laugh so hard. although bege doing the baby voice and cooing over his baby was very cute and i DID love that LMAO

RIP MACKENYU ZORO…YOU TRIED I GUESS..yea i think the showrunner was maybe thinking too much about post timeskip zoro while also trying to amplify his coolness and it just came off as. trying way too hard. i think he has a few better moments but also the Too Edgy moments continue so its a mixed bag. though zoro’s characterization seems to be one of the major criticisms ive seen across the board so maybe they’ll lighten him up for season 2. also koby is so perfect in the live action. him and luffy are adorable. i dont ship it either but i can see the vision. they were damn cute ps. they had exactly one f-word pass for season one and they gave it to zoro but like. in the most hilarious throw away line ever. however this means in at least one piece of one piece canon zoro has said fuck.

trades you hanyagellan fanfiction for the transji drawing (im kidding, dont worry abt it!!)

“haha.. so dada.. and . abrina.. am..abro.. abromava.. marina abromavia” luffy trying to pronounce the name of someone he doesnt care about be like

oh yea i definitely have a million accounts on random website that like. i dont even remember. once i tried to see if there was some kind of website or plug in or tool to put in your email address and find any accounts linked to it so i could delete them but i didnt really find what i was looking for which is crazy. like i have a fuckin nico nico douga account from when i used to watch vocaloid videos on there. the website is entirely in japanese. insane

and about the "heavy" internet stuff NO UR GOOD im in a similar boat and i just. choose not to think about it too hard. blissful ignorance

YES YES IVE HEARD OF USAGI DROP. FOR THAT VERY REASON. I THINK WHEN YASHAHIME STARTED AND WE DIDNT KNOW WHO THE MOM OF SESSHOMARU’S CHILDREN WERE EVERYONE WAS LIKE PRAYING IT WASNT RIN INCLUDING ME BUT I REMEMBERED THAT RUMIKO AT ONE POINT MENTIONED LIKING USAGI DROP AND I WAS LIKE. its so jover you guys

“i was actually looking up vocaloid stuff yesterday.. learning The History (i was watching kaito x gakupo mmd's)” KSDNNLKSM

yea!! nyan cat was an utau called momo i think? the nyan cat creator is actually here on tumblr lmao. i found them a couple years ago and was like holy shit… @ prguitarman. also the vocaloid oliver voices puppycat in bee and puppycat! and a vocaloid song actually mde it into a MARVEL MOVIE?? that one fucking sent me. its this one and it isnt even just miku whos the most mainstream its like. so many of them. we’re doing it u guys

yea most of my favs are the classics!! i could link my vocaloid megaplaylist but its. long. i only went bc i was like ‘THIS IS MY ONLY CHANCE TO SEE ANYTHING LIKE A VOCALOID CONCERT IN PERSON KIKUO MIGHT NEVER COME TO THE US AGAIN” and i had to have a friend drive me all the way to chicago for it (I Dont Live In Chicago) but it was worth it. i had one of the most fun times of my life lmao. i was JAMMIN. ive heard about the miku expo thign lmao. i think its bc miku is at coachella this weekend (?) or whatever so they might have taken her hologram tech there instead. LAME!

my other friends with aphantasia are artists as well so clearly it doesnt stop yall 💪 i do struggle with the blank canvas part lmao. but mostly i think i just find starting to be the hardest part of anything.

i think 90% of what oda says should be ignored LMAO. MY STORY NOW!! half joking. maybe a little more than half. when the live action cast talks about how much they respect him and how cool meeting and talking to him was i almost feel bad bc he seems like a kind and goofy guy a lot of the time, but oof, man really needs to evaluate his biases…

tumblr putting posts from early march on ur dash..

why does it do that. i hate that it does that. sometimes i post things and then purposely bury them with other posts so no one sees. TUMBLR PLEASE JUST SHOW MY SHIT IN ORDER

feel free to spam me i do it to other ppl all the time and i dont care at all lmao

I DONT USE TIKTOK (i did for a couple years in college but not anymore) BUT I . DFJNDKL. I ONLY KIND OF KNEW ABOUT THIS BC MY FRIEND SENT ME A REEL OF IT ON INSTAGRAM BUT I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS PRETTY POPULAR??? THATS SO FUN LMAO I LOVE IVA. THEY DESERVE THE FAME. ivankov being ur trans egg break is so weird to me bc it feels so recent but yea impel down came out in 2008 or 9….and also like. do you think oda knows. what he did. KDNFSJ if they bring sbs back (?) u should just sent in a letter like “oda thank u for showing me ivankov u made me realize i was nonbinary 👍” i wanna see what he says fkjvndkj

just now realizing how funny "transgenderism is a thrilling character trait" is thank you for that HAHA. i think he has done at least a little now (and iva is apparently based not only on dr frankenfurter but also a drag queen he knew irl?) but yea back then he needed. uh. a bit more. funny character was pretty much the extent of it. i mean he treated bon clay fairly well from all the way back in alabasta but sometimes i think about how bon clay’s jacket just says “OKAMA” on the back and it can. sometimes be considered a slur? i mean. would i wear a giant jacket that said fag on the back……yes duh. but like tHATS NOT THE POINT, and not everyone is okay w that!!

i remembered manboshi but not ryuboshi. 2gether we can remember the fishman royal family LMAO. god what was noahs ark supposed to be. i think it was supposed to take all of fishman island to the surface?? maybe. but i feel like it was more plot relevant than that. like poneglyph’s and gold roger were involved somehow. idk man im trusting oda to fit everything in before he ends the dang manga

i forget about the camie scene EVERY SINGLE TIME and EVERY SINGLE TIME i expect him to say panties and when he says money i always LOSE IT especially bc in the dub he sounds like mr krabs in that moment 😭

speaking of the water horses can we talk about how franky’s were named SODOM AND GOMORRAH. KDSFND. i made a comic about it that was probably too niche for most people to understand bc u have to have knowledge of dorian electra and also drag race and also the fact that those two random animal characters were named sodom and gomorrah.

SANJI WEARING COLORED CONTACTS TO FUCK WITH THE CREW XFKDJ. i can see him doing this but only to zoro. to piss him off. usopp’s in on it probably

i need a damn sanji gavel. someone on twitter goes by “ceo of sanji” and everyday i am jealous that i did not think of it first

people (dudebro powerscalers) always talk about whether zoro or sanji is stronger and i know oda has said/implied several times that theyre supposed to be different but equal but i mean. there’s quite a few small hints that zoro is supposed to be stronger. imo. as a sanji fan i must admit this. i mean making him taller by only 1 entire cm post timeskip. oda u were evil for that

“maybe its their diet?” its the crack cocaine - KJDNFSDO no that wouldnt make sense for cora but yea why. why are they so tall. i really think its just the weird way the world works. again i will blame gravity. bc im in the middle of big mom’s backstory rn and shes HUGE but ?? apparently not a giant?? SHE WAS JUST BIG??

tbh im not the best at character analysis either. i just read/watch/consume a lot of it and then parrot what i heard other ppl say to some degree (if it was supported by the text and had evidence and didnt seem . wrong. like i still evaluate it) but im bad about doing it myself. truthfully this probably stemmed from all those vocaloid videos i watched as a kid with insane strorylines that i always had to just go to the comments to have them explained to me. the songs being in japanese did not help 💀

i am not a multishipper bc i commit hard to one thing so i dont like most other sanji ships but sanuso gets a pass bc its very cute. lesbian sanji is beautiful. and yea im a little picky but as long as it isnt proship! go for it!!

i will do you one better and give u a link to the SBS + a translator who looked at the question.

AND IM THE SAME WAY i dont think its bc im sensitive to disappointment (well. i am actually but. in this case thats not the main reason) but because i like to think of the closest way i can get what i want with it being…realistic. thats the only reason i dont HC every single strawhat as gay in some way cause i was like i know oda would not. but i can meet him halfway. oda hear me out. 50% WE CAN DO 50%

TRANSMASC ZORO HITS SO DIFFERENT I AM WITH YOU THERE. part of it may be one of my closest friends is transmasc and has loved zoro forever so in my heart im like. yes. zoro is trans. for my friend. but also ive read quite a few trans zoro fics (i’d link them but theyre all zosan. Im Sorry) and the twist it puts on his relationship with kuina…is so cool. actually i take it back, just read this summary from neonglaceon on AO3:

JBSHJDKS IM REALLY NOT THAT CULTURED TRUST ME. if u havent seen the matilda movie…u should its a nostalgic childhood movie for me. its got danny devito…yea. and i only know cyrano de bergerac bc i saw it performed at a local university and goddd it was my first time seeing live theatre and i was. ENTRANCED

YOU KNOW WHAT? YEA. TRANS GAY RUDOLPH. HE’S AN OUTCAST LIKE US OK!! i will take any allegory for someone being an outcast/social pariah and be like “oh so gay allegory? so gay coding?”

ok but t4t frobin and chopper their little trans son…stop thats so cute

so glad to see u can send images now. i will close off by asking 1. any fav op content creators/artists/blogs?

and give u this image

#asks #replies #march anon #but ...urnot anon anymore #aarghstop #long post

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