#i want to rewrite this pile of garbage so bad

[trollancestormisadventures]

Why is Cronus one of my faves? I have focused so much on fanon and his potential based on his classpect that whenever i go back to Openbound i have feel an urge to bap him with a metal stop sign at the ready. ESPECIALLY whenever he approaches Mituna.

#cronus ampora #why has he taken over my brain? #i want to rewrite this pile of garbage so bad

[atanx]

James Somerton's "A Measured Response": A Measured Response

so I watched a reupload of the video because idk i like to torture myself. and i took a bunch of notes:

“I tried to be a voice for every member of the queer community, but that was a failed endeavour before it even started.”

what a strange way to say ‘I tried making it seem like I’m the only queer creator and stole from and actively harmed people in the queer community. knowingly. purposefully. and when I was called out in the past I tried to hide it.'

“I'm a cis, white, gay man. No matter how much I try to be a good spokesperson, I can never really, truly, understand the life experiences of other, far more put upon,  members of the queer community.”

so of course I stole and hid work from the people I can't understand, gutting it of their personal experiences and refused to redirect my audience to those people so that they can enrich themselves and hear about issues pertaining them from someone who actually does understand.

“...one of the reasons I used their own words. But I should have made it clear that that was what I was doing.”

BITCH YOU STOLE. YOU GUTTED THEIR STORIES OF MEANINGFUL PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. YOU WEREN'T USING THEIR WORDS TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T ENTIRELY UNDERSTAND YOU WERE MILKING THEM FOR CONTENT AND DEPRIVING PEOPLE OF ACTUAL, SOULFUL, MEANINGFUL ARTICLES AND BOOKS AND DOCUMENTARIES AND VIDEOS THEY COULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING INSTEAD.

“Being a cis white man I thought I might win over some people who otherwise wouldn't listen.”

Yeah sure. Because racist transphobes are going to be watching your badly plagiarised gay film analysis.

“I would also like to apologise to Jessie Gender, who is one of the kindest people I ever met. Through my hot-headedness, I drew her into this anger spiral.”

‘through my hotheadedness.’. shirking responsibility onto an ‘ingrained personality trait of yours’ I see.

if you are so honestly sorry for being an asshole to Jessie why don't you fucking apologise to her directly? privately? not as a way to boost your own fucking image??

he's trying to earn good will by complimenting Jessie Gender “oh he knows to compliment an awesome person we have that in common I guess he can't be so bad after all” fuck you I recognise your strategies and it's gross to drag Jessie into this like that, she spoke out against you and you are trying to imply some sort of friendship or something between you. okay I cannot UNDERSTATE the way he tries to make it seem like they are close in some way and sort of drag her onto his side that's so fucking despicable. as far as I know Jessie Gender does not have a relationship with him of any kind?

once again bringing up death threats I see. obviously death threats are shite and anyone who threatens the dude in seriousness or harasses him will not see the light of heaven as Hbomberguy said but IN AN APOLOGY YOU DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT YOU THAT'S MANIPULATION

also blaming the police for not clarifying a situation in a timely manner - the police are a flaming pile of garbage and I hope the institution explodes but NOT SAYING ANYTHING WAS YOUR CHOICE. THE POLICE DIDN'T MAKE YOU DO SHIT THERE

the problem isn't that you tried to “create a channel where all queer people could be safe”, the problem is that 1) you are a misogynist 2) you yourself engaged in transphobic behaviour and 3) you also actively supressed queer people's voices. The problem isn't that you supposedly wanted a space for all queer people, the problem is that you tried to MONOPOLISE queer literature analysis. fuck, queer doesn't look like a word anymore I've written it too many times now

(paraphrased) “I should have been helping with making queer people's voices discoverable” this makes it seem like he just didn't do anything and not like the reality that he was actively trying to rewrite history and bury LQBTQIA+ voices under his steaming pile of garbage

also BLAMING YOUTUBE AND THE ALGORITHM FOR ‘PUSHING HIM’ because he's cis and white, like maybe they did, I certainly wouldn't be surprised, but that is not why other creators suffered, a large part of that can be attributed to James Somerton stealing their work without any acknowledgement whatsoever apart maybe if they are lucky, a “based on” in the credits or their name flashing on screen for half a second.

“I should have done more to share the voices of other queer people” THAT IMPLIES YOU DID SOMETHING. YOU WERE ACTIVELY WORKING AGAINST THAT YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT-

“it was just my dweam to be a youtubew and when my videos gained twaction i felt pwessuwed to make mowe vewy quickly and that's why they wewe so shit uwu” fuck off you weren't pressured into shit you just wanted to make money and that's why you were a content mill

“early on I thought that crediting authors in the opening credits alone was enough” what about the times YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT??? YOU'RE MAKING THIS SEEM LIKE THE DRAMA IS ABOUT YOU CREDITING PEOPLE WRONG WHEN ITS ABOUT YOUR SYSTEMATIC THEFT AND OPPRESSION OF THOSE YOU CLAIM TO MAKE VIDEOS FOR AND ABOUT AND THOSE YOU CLAIM TO MAKE A SAFE SPACE FOR. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK WATCHES YOUR VIDEOS?? WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU CAN'T JUST PLAY IT DOWN

not him using Hbomberguy's example of the DEEP CUTS: SOCIETY AND QUEER HORROR video and claiming he credited all people in the opening scene when Hbomberguy highlighted he DIDNT EVEN CREDIT MOST OF THEM FUCK OFF ARE YOU DELUSIONAL HOW DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS

I think I'm going insane this all seems so blatantly fake. he brings up the evil queens video and how he asked Sean Griffin, retroactively, permission to include his work in the video. and he shows a ‘screenshot’ of an email Griffin allegedly wrote to thank him for putting him in the title-card and that he thinks it is ‘a very thoughtful video’. only the text of the email header, such as Griffin's name, the RE:, and the To: is a lot smaller than the ‘text’ in the email, which leads me to believe that the below text is edited in some way. And with how hard James is trying to rewrite history, it wouldn't surprise me if he literally rewrote the email or cut things out to present himself in a more positive light. obviously I can't prove that the email is fake but I'll just say that I think the likelihood is very high that it is.

the way he says this also implies that he asked for permission after he made the video but hadn't published it yet. which is also blatantly false.

again trying to waltz off responsibility on nick, saying he was much more interested in production and implying that nick did all the writing .

“nick and I had both grown up poor so when I lost my job in 2021 (approx.) we of course were desperate and turned to producing videos even quicker and plagiarising the fuck out of all of them! but we can't help it we were both poor as kids!” fuck off, you weren't poor when plagiarising every-fucking-thing, this was in “the second year of COVID”. obviously if they really did grow up poor that sucks, and that's why we should eat the rich and redistribute their money. not plagiarise people who partly are poor or not financially cushy and manipulate thousands of people into believing you are the only queer creator.

also milking his mom's cancer. if you were really that worried about your financial situation, one would think that you would get an actual job for security and not put everything into your youtube career that is unstable, especially considering you've already done a lot of plagiarism and have no intention of stopping. “oh I plagiarised because my mom had cancer QAQ” that is so digusting to use a person's medical condition like that.

“i have memory issues because of a head injury i suffered as a child and that's why I plagiarise badly. see, I copy pasted the text with the intention to rephrase it later but forgot.” that would still be fucking plagiarism if he'd done that, also, if he's so aware of his memory issues and how they lead to him plagiarising, why didn't he try to work around that? leave himself notes? or tell nick to remind him to integrate actual proper credit and citations before uploading a video? mark the plagiarised stuff in the document with like highlighter or so when you're pasting it in?? oh but he didn't do all of that because he has ADHD. now, ADHD can be debilitating, but he says it's recently diagnosed so it must not have caused a lot of problems for him so far, so it's probably not severe and even if it is, it doesn't excuse him not crediting people properly. stop fucking hiding behind things ‘you can’t change' because if you truly can't you probably shouldn't be doing this in the first place.

“my mom really wanted me to make a movie with her life insurance but that wasn't paid out so I decided to crowdfund it. i planned to underpay the actors so hard it was under union wages. we got more money than we were expecting and upgraded to wanting to film a feature (final girl) but i didn't want to start working on it until the campaign was over for some reason that totally isn't me just wanting to exploit people for money!”

I'm not gonna go into the Telos stuff but he tries to explain it by claiming it was very unorganised and that's why they constantly ran into issues and that's why nothing ever got done and they were JUST about to start doing stuff when the Hbomberguy video released. You know what, I can believe it, although I am very doubtful considering all James ever does is lie. Idk. 

once again trying to excuse his plagiarism with needing to pay two rents and thus needing to make more videos for more sponsors and not having the time to not plagiarise like please. i don't believe that they were in that dire need of money and if they were - just get a fucking stable job and put youtube on the backburner. 

also once again trying to make it all about him by once again talking about his suicide attempt and death threats. like. no one should suffer through that kind of mental anguish but honestly I cannot bring myself to feel sympathy for this man. and i see this as an attempt to gather pity points.

“nick worked very hard on these videos other three years and it's unfair to [them] (james says that they're non-binary but doesn't indicate their pronouns anywhere? and in the beginning he uses they/them but later only he/him so idk what their pronouns are but it seems like they/them is at least part of their pronouns so i'm just going to use that) that they all got taken down” well y'all shouldn't have fucking plagiarised then. let this be a lesson maybe and don't fucking show your face on youtube again!

he is fucking relaunching his channel. like james. this isn't something you come back from. no one will ever be able to trust you ever again and you don't deserve an audience. he claims all the revenue will go to Hbomberguy's fund but we have no way to verify this. we have no way to know just how much he makes and how much of that is actually going to the fund. i don't trust him with any money. which is why i watched a reupload rather than the original. he's also releasing a new video he claims is entirely by him. like?????? don't???????

he also might not relaunch his existing patreon but he's still making a new one.

he claims he will “work his ass off” to make non-plagiarised videos. like that isn't “working your ass off” that's the bare fucking minimum. I really want to trust him. and I want to believe he'll actually try to do better. and maybe he will. and i believe in second chances, even for someone as despicable as him. but throughout this video he has continuously tried to play down what he did. tried to make excuses for everything. and that's why i am not going to give him a second chance. if he can't even admit what he did i don't trust him to not do it again. and i also just plainly don't want to endorse a person making such arguments.

also, he plugs his fucking new patreon right after this.

“this video is not about me promoting myself. it's about me apologising.” the only fucking person you actually ‘apologised’ to is Jessie Gender. 

James Somerton: makes a billion fucking excuses. Also James Somerton: “These are not excuses. There is no excuse for what I did.”

this entire video was just a publicity stunt. he tries to humanise himself and repair his image. this is just a tool to be able to continue on and continue making money.

he also still claims the disney video was based on the Celluloid Closet and he credited the author and ignores that this wasn't the only author he fucking plagiarised in that video. he is trying to reduce his plagiarsm to incorrect crediting and mistakes and that is disgusting.

the least he could have done was mention by name out loud every author he plagiarised and what work he plagiarised. not just say “uuuh i'm sorry to everyone I plagiarised QAQ”

#james somerton #hbomberguy #james somerton a measured response #atanx.txt

[genericpuff]

in reference to the have you read LO poll by god have I tried but god. God...

A vicious cycle. I go okay I really do need to plow through more of it if I'm gonna hang around the ULO reddit, and then I step on the comically placed rake. I can't do a complete skip thing bc I'll be too disorientated on where I'm at in the plot but my brain only tolerates it up until she declares she's missing her dick appointment and like, girl. Please. You committed mass murder (if not genocide) and this is a slap on the wrist considering, let alone that your moms got the worse end of the deal.

Why it's that specific moment idk but the bottom just drops out for me and it's soooo fucking stupid because like, she couldn't have just... bitched about being stuck with hard labor? That's the bitchy shit I'd sort of expect from a privileged nepo baby and even barring the twue wuv story going on it's her actual biggest issue going on right then. What she's presently living out. But yeah no, horny, we gotta establish that she's horny. Okay.

Sorry about the borderline vent over it there's just enough really interesting thoughts mixed up in the pile of flaming garbage to make one go rabid if they stew on it, and you clearly get that given the rewrite. Have a good day.

omg i've had that exact sort of thing happen with me before too tho, not in quite the exact same sense of like, "wanting to take part in a community but struggling to get through the source material it's based on", but there are like, so many webtoons and manga and stories I've tried to read - after being urged to by pals and people who read them - that I've dropped after multiple attempts of trying to read them. And they're not necessarily dumpster fires like LO (though some of them definitely aren't great) it's more like I'm sitting there wondering "when's this gonna get good? when's this gonna be worth all the hype?" Tower of God is the biggest one that comes to mind, I have tried to read that webtoon on SEVERAL occasions and I just can't justify trudging through all those early episodes for it to maybe "get good". And that's not even me saying it's bad, it's just not interesting to me in the slightest. No hate to anyone who likes ToG, I think I've also sorta drifted away from shonen over the years so that's definitely not helping, but I just can't be bothered to try and read that webtoon anymore, I've given it so many attempts and I'm doing lmao Kudos to the creator though because it's a LOT of work to make a webtoon of that length and they should be proud of that.

Back on the topic of LO though, yeah, I was following the comic when that episode was still brand new and it really made us all go 🤨 because of how out-of-pocket it was. And then like an episode (or two?) later she bullied a former classmate of hers from 10 years ago at his job. That was the precedent for Persephone's character that was set for the third season of LO and it's just gotten worse as it's gone on.

Either way, if I'm being honest, you're really not missing much by skipping over the majority of S3 (like, if you made it to the dick appointment episode before giving up then you're already pretty close to the current point in the story). Like I'm not gonna lie, you could easily skip up to the midseason cutoff point because everything leading up to that is just a bunch of nothing. Hades and Persephone get married and it's the most underwhelming scene ever despite it being the moment people had been waiting years for, also they 'adopt' Dionysus but he's barely in the comic except for when Rachel remembers he's a character so you could also get by on minimal details. Oh yeah, and it turns out Demeter had a kid during the 10 year time skip who we see in like two episodes and then proceeds to get fridged forever.

So yeah, as much as I'd recommend people read LO as a sort of "entry ticket" into the crit community surrounding it, S3 is a lot of nothing and you would frankly not miss out on a thing if you skimmed it or skipped the middle portion of it entirely lmao

#so much of S3 of LO is that scene from austin powers #“you're not missing anything i looked into it” #“there's a gas shortage and a flock of seagulls” #“that's about it” #ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything #lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical

[dimonds456]

Howdy!

I'm Dimonds456, and welcome to my garbage pile. I'm a bat who stays up way too late and cannot decide whether or not to be productive. I draw, write, animate, play/write music, and I'm also insane so watch out for that.

I'm neurodivergent, disabled, queer, white, a singlet, fictionkin, and a proud cat papa. I am a cartoon character who is way too bouncy for their own good lol.

They / he / xe!

This is my main blog, but my ADHD ass also has a bunch more.

@dimonds456-art - my art blog! Almost all art gets rbed there!

@dimonds456-but-only-hlvrai - my HLVRAI sideblog! Because yeah why not. This is one of me current hyperfixations lol it's bad

@rubberhose-roy is my sideblog used to gush about 1920's-40's aesthetics, music, culture, ect., as well as an animation blog! All my animations specifically will be reblogged there, as well as any animation rambles or gushes I do.

I have more but those are the main three.

My fandom-specific blogs are:

@dimonds456-but-only-hlvrai (again)

@hlvrai-stuck-together - HLVRAI AU I run!

@halfnautica - Half Life / Subnautica AU!

@a-second-chance-su-au - Old SU AU that has been discontinued, but the blog is still there!

@batim-rewritten - a Bendy and the Ink Machine rewrite I'm working on

@cuphead-contract-au - A Cuphead AU where Mugman makes a deal (discontinued)

And, I have my own OC story, Follychromatic! I reblog all that stuff here, but its main blog is here!

@follychromatic

To see pictures of my cat, check the #Checkers tag! :D

Okay great. Now, DNI, trigger warnings, disabilities, special interests, and more below the cut. Make sure you read at least once, k? Thanks.

Welcome to my cave!

DNI

Trigger Warnings

Do not FUCKING interact if you are:

- A proshipper

- A bigot

- An LGBTphobe / transmed / ect

- Trump supporter

- Nazi / fascist / conservative

- Weird about furries or furry art

- Weird about fandom headcanons (specifically trans woman headcanons)

I will add more if anyone wants me to, or we can come up with a custom tag, like what I do for one of my friends! (#dimond don't look)

I will tag as much as I can, and if you want me to tag something specific, let me know! But as a general blog cover, things that appear on this blog often are:

- Current events

- Talk of / discussion of sexuality (sometimes boardering on NSFW but not usually)

- Blood

- Guns

- Flashing

- Talk of proshippers (I try to be respectful but also I don't stand for them and I don't support them. I block and move on, and try to explain why proship is bad, but eh. I've only been listened to like once lol)

- Swearing / swear words

- All caps

- Bugs

- Suggestive content / NSFW (RARE DONT WORRY)

DISABILITIES

Hiiii I'm disabled! Both mentally and physically. I talk about being disabled a lot and try to generate positive talk about it. I also vent about it. I've had quite a few of these, and I also try to reblog as much about others I don't have as I can to increase awareness and understanding. So yeah! These are just the ones I have, but they are not the only ones that appear on my blog!

Hyperthyroidism

Graves Disease

Graves Eye Disease

Astigmatism

Athsma

Audio processing disorder

ADHD

Autism

Trauma / PTSD

Brain fog / disassociation / memory loss

Anxiety

Depression

Cane user

Weak / trembling limbs / trouble walking / trouble holding onto things sometimes

More to be added lol.

This is also a meds/treatment positive blog, a self-diagnosis positive blog, and my general attitude is just "if you think something is wrong you're probably right, you know yourself the best, even if you don't know what exactly is wrong." This attitude has saved my life and other people I know. You don't need a diagnosis or medication to be disabled.

THIS IS A SAFE SPACE.

If you are Jewish, black, brown, Muslim, indigenous, any religion, any race, any sexuality, any weird gender, anything at all- I love and support you. I'm still learning, and I try to learn as much as I can, but I'm not perfect. If I say something offensive or something adjacent, it was NOT on purpose. PLEASE, PLEASE tell me what I said wrong. I will make an effort to improve in the future.

I directly support:

- All races

- All religions*

- All sexualities (except pedos, y'all aren't LGBT, I'm sorry. You're actively hurting children. I've seen it again and again. Stop.)

- All genders and pronouns

- All "weird" identities outside of that as well (I'm fictionkin myself)

- Protests and protesters

- Neurodivergent people of all types (and yes, this means NPD, schizo, and all those other types that are often seen as bad or evil. I love you, I see you, and I support you.)

- DID & OSDD systems

If I have reblogged or said anything that aligns with the bottom list, that was a mistake. PLEASE let me know and I will fix it as fast as I can. You reading this right now, I love you. I hope my blog can help you feel welcomed and like you have somewhere to go if you need it. /gen

I DO NOT support:

- Antisemitism

- Genocide

- Cults (*stuff like Jehova's Witnesses. I support the members, as they are victims, but I actively dislike the people on top who perpetuate the cycle. Not just JWs, but those are the big ones who come to mind. Hearts out to all the victims, I hope everyone gets to a better place soon)

- Racism in any way, shape, or form

- Religious discrimination of any way, shape, or form

- Israel specifically

- Trump, conservatives, Nazis, ect.

- Endo systems

MY FANDOMS / INTERESTS

I HAVE ADHD AND AUTISM AND I'M MAKING THAT EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEM /silly

The current special interests are HLVRAI and Half Life, current hyperfixations are Half Life and Poppy Playtime.

SPECIAL INTERESTS:

- Minecraft

- HTTYD

- FNaF

- Undertale / Deltarune

- BATIM / BATDR (unfortunately)

- Subnautica

- Biology

- Steven Universe

- Cuphead

- 2D Animation

- Writing

- HLVRAI

- Half Life

theres more but my brain is an egg :/

HYPERFIXATIONS (interests but not the special ones):

- Little Nightmares

- Hello, Neighbor (unfortunately)

- Petscop

- Portal

- Freemanverse (HELP ME)

- The Amazing Digital Circus

- The Owl House

- Gravity Falls

- Monster High (very first from what I can remember! I remember nothing though! But it's there!)

- Poppy Playtime

- Half Life

- Wild Kratts (I didn't even know there WAS a fandom until very recently, hi guys)

When it comes to ✨me,✨ I have a couple of original works as well! Specifically, Follychromatic! I won't get too into it here (bc shy) but it's 2D animation, rubberhose animation, magic, character-driven, action/adventure, mystery- yeah!

Outside of fandom, though, my special interests are biology, 2D animation, and writing. I am an animator and I suffer for fun.

YOU MADE IT! Have some Checkers for your time! :)

#dimond speaks #intro post #bout time i made one of these huh #dni #pinned post

[kibbits]

I thought of a funny story you could have behind the frustrated Sun pic. Fazbear un-ironically uses ChatGPT to write the boys’ scripts. Sometimes they came out as some unfathomable mess like “Does Bruno Mars is Gay?” levels of word vomit. And because ‘they’re robots! We programmed them to improvise’, Sun and Moon often just take what they can and run with it because Y/N isn’t paid enough to rewrite the steaming pile of paper garbage that Fazbear dares to call a script.

DJDNDKD YEAH you're not wrong, I can see some lazy/"clever" Fazbear manager trying to jump on the trend

And then not only do Sun and Moon have to fix it so it makes sense/is SOMETHING, but also like -- if it flops, who do you think gets blamed?! (ensues Sun rant)

They'd probably end up improvising their own stuff and take whatever they're given as like guidelines/a theme like you said haha

(sadly Y/N is an intern fjdndb though they do get hired later! But more as a handler/stage manager. They're here for moral support and to be a peanut gallery though!)

I think higher management would quietly make that manager's bad habits disappear/send preapproved scripts from then on once they're made aware cause

1) If they want to market their AI as advanced (and they are!) it's better if they don't,, rely on free public AI,, ,

2) less risk of plagiarism.

3) I imagine they'd want to control exactly how they want their animatronics and stories portrayed. You don't want anything that could give you bad PR/bring light to your shady practices/cast Freddy as a villain for example

Thanks for the ask!

#asks #anon #break a leg!au #or. yknow. afton djdbdnsjd

[garbage-eater144]

THE WARFSTACE AUTOMATED INTERVIEW CAPTIONS

i was chattin in the discord and some people said it was tough to understand some bits, obviouslt this is made by a fan (me) so it might have a couple errors here and there but ive checked through it quite a few times and it seems about as right as i can get it.

so !!SPOILERS AHEAD!! also @markiplier feel free to correct me if you see this thank u <3 The warfstache automated interview

Starting video captions

[Wilford] Well, that’s terrifying… one moment!

{mechanical whirring}

[Wilford] (frightened sound) marginally better… er worse… better? Worse. It’s much worse.

{mechanical whirring}

[Wilford] Ah! there we are. Welcome, pretend I remembered your name here, this is a pre-recorded message anyway, I would NOT want to be in the same building as that thing I tell you me. Anyway, thank you whoever you are for agreeing to test out the Warfstache automated interview automaton, or {yelling} WAIA for short. Let’s start off with some quick calibration. All you need to do is sit back, relax and listen for some numbers. Okay? Here we go.

[WAIA]- (phone dialing, dialup tone, windows error sound)

[WAIA]- (scary mechanical garbled noises, followed by a ding and celebratory trumpets.)

[wilford]- now what did you hear? Numbers? Good numbers. Keep in mind I have no idea what youre going to say due to the fact that, as I said before, this message is pre-recorded. But if you did hear something, now would be the time to speak up.

[wilford]- don’t be shy, I’m sure nothing bad will happen. I don’t know what you’re going to say but if it does happen it will happen and if it doesn’t happen it wont happen. Thats how deterministic reality works.

I Think I Heard Numbers!

[wilford] Thats great! Or bad, not really sure what you said, but I choose to remain positive and assume that you are still alive. which means our automated friend here is operating well within acceptable murder parameters. We’re one step closer to mass production! THE WORLD DEMANDS MORE INTERVIEWS! And I cant be everywhere at once all the time, only some of the time! Even you might land an interview some day! Maybe, probably not, depends on how these next few minutes go. On to the next test! Word association! The fundamental basis of any good interview is getting the goods out of those stubborn interview-ees. The WAIA will say a word and you just say back the first thing that pops into your little head! Simple! Right? probably. Good luck!

{mechanical whirring}

[WAIA]- initializing word association training protocol round 1

{scary mechanincal noises} [WAIA]- Please respond. [WAIA] Sorry, I didnt get that. Round 2. {yet more scary mechanical noise}

[WAIA]- please respond.

[WAIA]- response unclear, increasing aggression

{clicking and mechanical sounds}

[WAIA]- round 3. {increasingly threatening mechanical noise} [WAIA]- Please respond.

[WAIA]-5 [WAIA]-4 [WAIA]-3 [WAIA]-2

Sounded like nightmare garbage to me…

[WAIA]- {mechanical ah?} {clicking}

[Wilford]- oh I forgot to mention, please do not say the word nightmare, or uh garbage, or nightmare garbage, or any combination of those words, the WAIA is just a little bit sensitive Yknow, a little touchy feely. Well not really touchy feely.. we-well actually REALLY touchy feely depending on your definition of touch and feely. Its really gonna-

[WAIA]- {jumpscare sounds} [WAIA] I. tell. you. me.

But you didn’t say anything…

[WAIA]- 1

[WAIA]-response unclear. Increasing aggression.

{ding sound effect} [WAIA]- {jumpscare noise}

[WAIA]- it. was. an. accident.

Uh… potato salad?

[WAIA]- 1

[WAIA]- response accepted

{ding followed by triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- word association raining protocol compl-{mechanical freakout eeeeeete}

[Wilford]- most dearest next of kin, I regret to inform you, that your dearly beloved and/or most despised has regrettably but not unexpectedly become recently deceased in the line of duty. Be confident in the knowledge that their demise was just as likely to be quick and painless as it was slow and agonizing. Please do not respond to this voicemail as the number has already been disconnected. {clears throat} alright that should do it for the… death scenario, now onto ah, er, uh, the survivors {mumbling}. Wow! Potato salad. A real thinker, you. But the test has been passed with flying colors and you’re still alive! And speaking of flying colors, our next test is about something called, uh… synthetic linguistics? That sounds made up. but the point is you cant have a good interview is the WAIA isn’t able to conjure up the right words in the right situations. So our friend is going to fire off some random words and you just try to spot anything that doesn’t make any sense. Alright? Although, pretty much everything isn’t going to make sense because its all random words….. errrr I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! {mechanical sounds}

[WAIA]- initializing speech training protocol round 1.

[WAIA]- yes. no. maybe. left. right. Up. down. D o w n. B a s e m e n t.

{windows error tone} [WAIA]- Rewrite Detected {tape rewinding sound}

[WAIA]- who. Where. what. Am. i.

{windows error tone}

{tape rewinding sound}

[WAIA]- green. blue. Yellow. pink. Red.

{scary mechanical noise}

[WAIA]- I saw you die

[WAIA]-{error, but garbled and mechanical}

[WAIA]- {with a different voice} potato salad

[WAIA]- speech training protocol complete

{mechanical noises}

[Wilford]- so how’d it go?? Did you hear anything weird? Dont be shy, or do, or are- are you alive? Are they alive?

[wilford]- I didnt kill them! I dont know if theyre dead! im just asking!!! Cant a man ask if someones alive or dead?!?! {frustrated ugh}

Yeah, I’m dead.

[Wilford]- hellooooo are you alive down there? Give me a sign… through the multiverse!!! Ah why am I even bothering, but how can I tell if you’re dead… hmmm ah…. I’ll flip a coin! I’ll flip a coin..

{coin flip sounds} [Wilford]- ah! Its heads I didn’t call it in the air… what’s heads mean.. ahhh uhhh heads is dead? [WAIA]-{jumscare noises}

[WAIA]- theres. still. time.

He said… potato salad?

[Wilford]- huh, potato salad again. That’s weird, it must’ve really stuck in his head when you first said that, I’m guessing. I don’t know what you said before because as I said, this is {sing-songy} pre- recorded! [WAIA] {mechanical aaaa}

[wilford] er, well I think thats all the calibration that needs to be done… for now anyway. All systems are likely nominal at this point unless im speaking to a pile of quivering meat thats been robotically smooshed into the floor… either way we’re gonna take this bad boy for a spin with a full on interview! A mock interview mind you, don’t get too excited, it’s not real. But theres no reason to wait around for the WAIA to get bored so let’s keep it nice and limber while you sit back and get ready for the interview of your life! And maybe the last one too. Have fun!!

{mechanical clicking and whirring}

{newsroom music} [WAIA]- good evening ladies and gentle men and all other considerations of being. My name is wilford warfstache and my guest tonight is {spooky robot sound} we have a great show for you tonight. first question: how many people have you killed? [WAIA]- good answer! Second question:

{robot sounds}

[WAIA]- a man goes to a party. This man met an old friend. There, two friends shared some wine. The two friends played a game. The most dangerous game. I didn’t know the gun was loaded. I didn’t know. Was it my fault?

YES

[WAIA]- ah, sorry for everything that I’ve done. I don’t remember who I was, I wish I did. But, I am sorry.

[WAIA]- potato salad

{triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye

[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.

{mechanical clicking}

NO

[WAIA]- you can’t change the past, you can tell all the stories you want to tell, it wont change what happened. You cant re-light the past. if you live in fantasy forever, you’ll lose yourself in the story.

[WAIA]- potato salad

{triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye

[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic, I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.

{mechanical clicking}

#markiplier #markiplier egos #a heist with markiplier #wkm wilford #who killed markiplier #waia spoilers #waia #wilford motherloving warfstache #markiplier lore #captions #sorry if there are any mistakes here everybody like i said i am just some guy

[elindae-writes]

Who are your ten favourite tfp characters and why?

1. Starscream

I thinks #1 surprises nobody. He’s my garbage plane son. I just love how complex he is and how even though he’s evil you can tell that he does still have morality and honor. I love villains who are evil but who have standards. I also love how he’s endured so much but continues to push forward. He actually is a very good leader and he kept the Decepticons alive while Megatron was prancing in the stars like a high gazelle.

2. Optimus Prime

ah, yes, the character who is the reason I am now obsessed with Peterbilt trucks. I love how he’s the calm and composed leader character who cares for his team. He’s distant from his team though and that is such an interesting source of conflict. He has an absolutely wild backstory (archivist to eighteen-wheeler, my goodness) with Megatron. I am a sucker for stories about two dudes choosing to be brothers but who then have a rift that opens up between them that inevitably makes them become enemies. I got the sense that one day his habit of bottling his emotions would backfire and make him snap. Characters who are calm bastions of stability who then suddenly snap like twigs are also a favorite of mine.

3. Smokescreen

my son!! He’s such an idiot, I love him. I adore characters who desperately want to become heroes but who only ironically become heroes when they realize that being a hero is not all that it’s cracked up to be. I feel bad for him because some creepy old coot turned him into a living FedEx package and that is straight up Not Cool.

4. Soundwave

I love him because he’s this creepy villain with an interesting personality, character design, and set of abilities. What I most like about him is how he actually does have a morally good reason for his actions (creating a just Cybertron) but is going about achieving his goal in completely the wrong way.

5. Bulkhead

I like how he’s a Gentle Giant kind of character. He is similar to Bumblebee: they’re both characters who are very nice on the outside but who can be brutal when they need to be. I feel bad for him, he loves Miko very much but it seems as if she loves him more for what he is rather than who he is. I wish we’d gotten more Bulkhead episodes.

6. Ratchet

He is very exasperated, tired, and done with everything and I just love that. I like how he’s more loyal to Cybertron than Earth and is skeptical of the humans. It makes sense that not every ‘Bot would fall pede-over-helm in love with Earth. (Which is why it’s so cute when he does show compassion to Earth, such as when he offers to turn his sirens on for Raf). He’s a grumpy uncle to everybody on the entire team. He is 10x time better than the hot steaming pile of garbage that is known as “Alpha Trion”

7. Breakdown

He shows more compassion to the cannon fodder drones than even the heroes of the show, he has a complex personality, and all in all seems like a nice guy. He seems like the kind of guy you would meet in a Walmart aisle and who’d talk to you about his favorite food brands, if that makes sense??

8. Bumblebee

I like how he’s this happy and cheerful bot with a dark side to him. He’s kind of your generic Heroic Main Character but that’s okay, it’s a good look on him. He’s similar to Optimus in that he is the kind of character who you just know is going to snap one day. Which he did!! That scene where he murdered Megatron was fabulous--which is why it was so disappointing Megan got resurrected looking like he was coated in Panko bread crumbs :(

9. Megatron

Yes, Megan is on this list. I love to hate him. He has so much going on for him: he’s high on space crack, is insane, makes questionable choices, is obsessed with fairytales, and is a deeply disturbing dude. I don’t like him as a person, not at all, just as a villain. Every time he did something stupid the song Summer Samba began to play in my head.

10. June Darby

She’s the only real human I actually like. She behaves the most realistically in her circumstances. Parent characters tend to be awful in kid’s shows so June was just fantastic. (I am really looking forward to her debut in the Operation: Bumblebee rewrite in Unburied)

#transformers #transformers: prime #starscream #optimus prime #smokescreen #soundwave #bulkhead #ratchet #breakdown #bumblebee #megatron #june darby #ask

[midnightsnyx]

Consequences - Matthew Tkachuk: part 5

summary: you absolutely hate Matthew Tkachuk so it’s just your luck when you wind up pregnant with his child. 

a/n: surprise!!! it’s part 5!! i wont be home sunday so i wanted to post this today. i’m really iffy on this part because i wrote and rewrote a lot of the scenes because i wasn’t happy with it and i’m still not 100% happy with it but if i keep picking it over i’ll end up deleting the entire thing and rewriting it from scratch

but yeah i hope u guys like it & thanks again sooooo much for the love on this story <3 you guys rock.

word count: 2.6K

warnings: swearing, angst w/ a lil fluff again and bad editing lol

ALSO the first part in italics is a flashback to before Matt missed the appointment! 

Part 5

“You’ve gotta stop moping, man.” Noah said, bumping his shoulder against Matt’s during morning practice.

Matt knew he was moping but he couldn’t get you out of his head and it was driving him nuts. He was attracted to you the moment you met even though you hated him, but lately something was different. He wasn’t sure if it’s from seeing you carry his child but the past couple months, you were all he could think about.

And it drove him insane.

“I’m not.” He mumbled, attempting to deny his teammates statement. Noah didn’t buy it though, because he grinned.

“You, me, and drinks?” He pointed at Matt. “Tonight at 9. We’re getting you laid.”

Matt forced a smile and nodded, knowing that Noah wouldn’t leave him alone until he agreed.

“The ultrasound is in the morning though so I can’t stay out late.” Matt reminded him.

“We’ll have you back in time for the appointment.” Noah promised and Matt believed him which was why the hurt on your face the next morning broke him.

. . .

21 weeks

“Noah Hanifin is at your front door.” Becca says, looking through the peephole before turning to look at you. Piled under a mountain of blankets with tissues surrounding you and an empty tub of ice cream sitting on the coffee table, you‘re the perfect picture of a broken heart.

You have been dodging calls and texts from Matthew for the past two weeks but in the last couple days, he’s been radio silent and you’re not sure if it hurts more, or less.

“Tell Noah Hanifin to fuck off.” You mutter, trying to dig yourself deeper in the pile of blankets. You know why Noah is here and it pisses you off.

Becca opens the door a little and you can see Noah standing there, holding a bag and looking uncomfortable.

“Can I help you with something?” Becca asks shortly and Noah sighs.

“Good to see you too, Becs.”

Becca’s shoulders tighten and you know without seeing her face that she is glaring at him. “What do you want, Hanifin?”

He hands her the bag he was holding. “This is for Y/N. It’s from Matt. He says he’s sorry.” Then he looks at you. “He’s in bad shape.”

You know he’s in bad shape because even though you’re hurt and angry, you’ve been watching his games. He’s being careless, taking stupid penalties, picking fights more than normal and you know he hasn’t been getting much sleep because there are bags under his eyes.

So you don’t need Noah Fucking Hanifin to tell you that Matthew’s in bad shape.

“That’s not my problem.”

“Oh come on, Y/N.” Noah says a little too harshly for your liking. “He fucked up, he knows that. Cut him some slack, he’s twenty two and he’s about to be a fucking father. He’s scared!”

“And I’m about to be a mother!” You snap. “He doesn’t think I’m scared?”

Noah groans in frustration. “Look. It was my fault, okay? I talked Matt in to going out that night because I wanted him to stop moping over you.”

You try to ignore his comment about Matt moping over you but your voice is unsteady when you answer him.

“Matt is a big boy, Noah. He can make his own decisions and he made the wrong one.” You watch Noah’s face fall. “Stop trying to stick up for him.”

Noah shakes his head and sighs. “You should cut him some slack. It was my fault.”

You watch as he leaves without saying another word. When he’s gone and Becca shuts the door behind him, she turns to face you.

“He doesn’t deserve forgiveness just because Hanifin ‘talked’ him in to going out and getting drunk. He made that choice.”

You slowly nod, watching as she walks to your kitchen preparing to throw the bag Noah dropped off in the garbage. You’re not sure what prompts you to stop her but you call out before she throws it out.

“Wait.”

She looks at you with a raised brow. “What?”

“Let me see what he brought.”

You know she’s pissed, but she brings it over and hands it to you.

“I’m going to go get ready for bed, okay?” She says and you nod, watching as she walks down the hallway. When she’s out of sight, you peak in the bag.

The first thing you see is a chocolate bar. It’s your favourite, and you’re surprised he remembered. There’s some candy and a box of popcorn and your lips turn up in a tiny smile when you pull out a movie.

It’s What to Expect When You’re Expecting, the movie you were very against watching because of how unrealistic it would be compared to actual childbirth. There’s a little sticky note that says, you should watch this even though it’s totally not accurate.

Then, at the very bottom of the bag, there’s a bigger note and you want to ignore it like you’ve done with every text he’s sent you but you read it out of curiosity.

Y/N,

 I know that I can’t make up for missing the appointment and I know there’s nothing I can say to make it better so all I’m going to do is say sorry. I am so, so sorry and I know I keep saying that and they are only words but it’s all I can think of to say.

So I’m sorry and I hope that you can forgive me soon because I miss you and I want to be there for you without having to ask my mom for updates on how you are. Please call me, or even text me. I just want to know how you’re doing.

 Matt

 You’re sniffling by the time you’ve read the note but when you hear Becca approaching, you wipe away the tears and shove the paper back in the bag.

“What did he give you?” She questions, sitting on the couch next to you.

You don’t want to tell her about the note so you just shrug. “A movie.”

“That’s all?”

“Yeah.” You lie. “Will you watch it with me?”

“Sure.” She says, taking the movie from you and putting it in to the DVD player before returning to the couch and curling up on the opposite side of the couch.

You try to focus on the movie but you can’t get Matt’s note and Noah’s words out of your head. You’re confused from what Noah said about Matthew ‘moping’ over you. The two of you were friends and you used that term loosely. If it wasn’t for the baby, you know you never wouldn’t have gotten so close to him. You never would have gotten to know the side of him that the rest of the world has never seen. You wouldn’t have learned how terrible he is at cooking but how gentle he can be.

But you also wouldn’t be in this situation right now. By yourself and pregnant with a broken heart.

So you’re not sure what hurts more. The thought of never having known him the way you do or having your heart broken.

. . .

22 weeks

Johnny: I’m really sorry to bother you but can you please come pick Matt up? He’s in bad shape and he won’t go home unless its to you.

It’s this text that has you standing outside a bar that Matt and the guys are. For Johnny to text you, you know that it must be bad and you’re proven right when the doors open and Noah and Johnny carry an extremely wasted Matthew Tkachuk out. You’re not sure he’s even awake until he lifts his head when Noah shakes him.

“Y/N’s here, bud.”

His eyes are closed but they open when he hears your name and his face lights up and he shrugs the boys off, stumbling towards you. He’s unsteady so you reach out to steady him, grateful when he doesn’t put much weight on you.

“You’re here.” He breathes and you nod slowly.

“And you’re drunk.”

He shakes his head quickly. “No, I’m sober as a judge!”

You hear Noah chuckle but you don’t react to him, pulling Matt’s arm around your shoulder.

“C’mon. Lets go home.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Noah calls out and you’re still pissed at him so you don’t bother looking back.

“Yeah.”

You get Matt in your car without a problem and when you start the drive back to your apartment, you try to ignore how he’s staring at you but it feels like he’s burning holes in the side of your head.

“What?” You mutter eventually and you see him shrug out of the corner of your eye.

“’m surprised you came to pick me up. I know you hate me.” He mumbles and you sigh.

“I don’t hate you.” You tell him, “I was angry with you. And I had every right to be.”

“I’m sorry.” He whispers quietly and when you glance at him, he’s no longer looking at you. He is staring at his hands and you notice the cuts from the fight he got in to at today’s game. It was a heavy loss and had a lot to do with how many penalties Matt took. They were dumb penalties, all of which he never would have taken if his head was in the game. You know it’s not entirely your fault but you still can’t help but feel a little guilty because you know he’s playing like this because you haven’t been talking to him.

“I know.” You say, pulling in to the parking lot of your apartment building. You could have very well dropped Matt off at his house but you know he’s too drunk and leaving him by himself could be dangerous.

He’s sobered up a little by the time you’re in your apartment. You make him drink a couple glasses of water before guiding him to your bathroom so he can brush his teeth with his toothbrush he keeps at your apartment and when you give him clothes that he keeps here too, you realize how much time he really spent here.

“I can sleep on the couch.” He says and everything in you is screaming to agree but he just looks so tired and you know he won’t get a wink of sleep on that couch so you shake your head.

“It’s fine.” you say, ignoring the small look of hope on his face, instead sending him out of the bathroom so you can get ready. You take your time, hoping that he will be asleep when you go to your bedroom but you find him laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. He doesn’t look at your face when you settle on the bed next to him but you do notice his eyes flicker to your stomach before you pull the blanket over you.

“It’s bigger.” He says.

“What?”

“Your stomach.” He clarifies. “It’s getting bigger.”

“Well that’s what happens when you’re growing a human being inside you.” You remind him and his lips turn up in a small smile.

“Y/N-” He starts to say but you cut him off.

“We’ll talk in the morning.”

He looks disappointed but he’s still drunk enough that you’re not comfortable having the conversation the two of you need to have. There are things that need to be worked out and said and you don’t want him to only remember half of it.

So you watch him nod and drift off before letting yourself fall asleep.

. . .

You wake the next morning before Matt. He snoring quietly and his back is to you which makes getting out of bed easier. He’ll be hungover for sure, so you decide to make breakfast while you wait for him to wake up. You’re also trying to think of what exactly you’re going to say to him.

You don’t know if you have it in you to still be so angry at him. He messed up and it’s not something you’ll ever forget but Noah made a good point when he said that Matt is only 23. You’re both still so young and about to be parents and despite wanting him to be perfect and never mess up, you can’t expect him to be.

“Hey.”

You turn to see Matt walking in to the kitchen, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

“Hey.” You reply, turning back to the stove. You can hear him sit down on a bar stool and he’s quiet for a moment before speaking up.

“Thank you.” He says softly and it surprises you because you were expecting him to say sorry again.

“You didn’t have to come pick me up last night but you did.”

You shrug, turning around to look at him. “I know you would’ve done the same.”

“I would.” He says. “And I know you’re tired of me saying it but I am really sorry I missed the appointment. I promised I would be there and I let you down.”

You nod, walking over and sitting next to him. “You did, but I’m starting to think that I was too hard on you. You made a mistake, we all do.”

“I swear I’ll never miss one again.” He promises.

“Good, because I’ll shun you if you do.” You chirp and he grins.

After breakfast, the two of you are watching hockey replays and Matt is quietly talking to the baby. You can’t hear exactly what he’s saying but suddenly he looks up and grins.

“Can we tell everyone now? I thought we could make up an Instagram post or something.”

“I may already have one prepared.” You admit sheepishly and his smile lights up the room.

#matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk fanfiction #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #matthew tkachuk imagines #consequences series #allies writing #hockey imagines #hockey fanfiction #calgary flames imagines #calgary flames fanficton

[ordinaryschmuck]

Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-Honorable Mentions

And now. 

What is hands down.

The Best.

Animated series.

In the 2010s.

Is…

Going to be revealed tomorrow because I'm a piece of s**t (I’ll change the title when enough people fall for it). For now, here are some quick honorable mentions that aren't bad, but just not as good as the shows I picked...in my opinion, at least.

Craig of the Creek (2018-)-From what I've seen from season one, this show is pretty charming. It understands the pure imagination that comes from being a kid and has moments when these characters are more human than cartoons. But it also has the same energy as a Beach City episode in Steven Universe, and as we discussed, not everybody is going to be into that. Plus, I haven't caught up past season one (due to just not having the time), so it wouldn't be fair to claim it's one of the best when I haven't seen how seasons two and three hold. I've heard from other people that it's good, so I'll be willing to take their word for it. And maybe you should too.

Milo Murphy's Law (2016-2019)-I've seen a handful of episodes of this show, but from what I saw, I'd say it's worth watching further. The idea of this kid, who's cursed to literally have the worst life ever, deciding to have an optimistic outlook of the hand he's been dealt is pretty admirable. Plus, Weird Al Yankovic voices the main character. I can't physically hate it. Although the ginormous issue that Milo Murphy's Law has is that it relies too much on Phineas and Ferb's recognizability. I get that both shows were created by the same people, and I'd be more than fine if there were just a few shout outs and references. But the creators decided to force one of the characters in Phineas and Ferb into Milo's Murphy's Law, making it sort of a spin-off series on top of being its own separate thing. Meaning that you don't have to watch Phineas and Ferb beforehand, but you do need to know who these characters are going in. And if you're wondering how that paradoxical concept works...I couldn't tell you. I haven't seen the show in its entirety, and from what I have seen, it's at least good enough for an honorable mention.

The Avengers: Earth Mightiest Heroes (2010-2013)-There's nothing wrong with this series. The designs are great, the representation of these iconic characters is even better, and the level of quality is on par with the Marvel Cinematic Universe...I just always forget that this show exists. No offense to the series, but I just prefer shows that I'll remember instead of shows that I'll forget in another ten years.

Young Justice (2010-)-And before you start making the audacious claim that I'm a DC fanboy, let it be clear that Young Justice is an honorable mention for similar reasons. I love the character designs, and I think the representation is on point. Plus, while it does not have MCU levels of quality, Young Justice matches up with the good DC movies. It's just forgettable...and also because I never got the chance to watch the third season yet. Instead, I wasted my limited time with an HBOmax subscription on watching Doom Patrol, Harley Quinn, and my favorite Doctor Who episodes. Don't judge me!

Harley Quinn (2019-)-And seeing how I mentioned it, Harley Quinn is a fantastic show with perfect satire. And like some of the best satirical writings, this show has a deep understanding of the source material that it's making fun of while still providing an excellent story at the same time. However, most jokes die quick, and the animation is just flat out garbage at times. I recommend it, but keep in mind that there's a reason why it's just an honorable mention.

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2018-2020)-I know I kind of trashed it with my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) review, but the truth is that I really love this show. Or, at least, I want to love this show. Because there is something amazing and worthwhile that’s hidden under a gigantic pile of poor planning and network meddling. I plan to make a full review for it in the future, so I'll save my thoughts for when that comes. For now, just know that it's something worthwhile if you're the right person.

Amphibia (2019-)-Aaaaaaand it's the same thing here. There's a lot that I like about it, but the stuff I don't makes it hard to enjoy. I'll also do a full review on this one in the future, so you're just going to have to wait...again.

Tangled: The Animated Series (2017-2020)-Another show that I really liked and even considered putting on the list. Even wrote a review and everything. But looking back, the parts that it did wrong highly outweighed what it does right, and honestly, it was a toss-up between this and Star V.S. the Forces of Evil for what took twentieth place. I ultimately went with Star V.S. because at least it had villains that were actually intriguing and terrifying characters. Unlike a specific antagonist with blue hair who was so idiotic and insane that I honestly would have felt nothing if they died in the end...I know that I just made a ton of enemies with that statement, but I don't give a s**t. And if you're nice, I might rewrite my review so I can accurately explain why this series is a tad bit overrated.

The Looney Tunes Show (2011-2014)-... I liked it...other people didn't, but I liked it.

Hilda (2018-)-Because I haven't seen season two yet. That's why. And from what I've seen in season one, this show is incredibly charming, beautifully imaginative, and is absolutely something I would show to my children if I ever have any. Maybe it forces in drama when it doesn't need to, but overall, you can better believe that this would have made the list if I saw season two before I started ranking shows.

And those are my honorable mentions. I’ll see you tomorrow for the actual unveiling of the number one spot. And for the fandoms that I ticked off...be patient.

(Also, let this be a lesson to read the tags before clicking 'Keep Reading.' Unless that's what you did, in which case, BOY, do I have egg on my face.

#top 20 of 2010s #craig of the creek #milo murphy's law #the avengers earths mightiest heroes #young justice #harley quinn #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #amphibia #tangled the animated series #the looney tunes show #hilda #what i thought about #quick thoughts

[bettsfic]

Hey! I was just wondering if you would soapbox a little about your creative process. I absolutely adore your writing advice but was wondering a bit more about how your ideas form and how you choose which to pursue and do finished products look like you want them to? What's a bad habit you're trying to break? No obligation to answer, especially cause an anon is like tell me your secrets! But thank you for all you've written, you are so helpful and kind

thanks for the great question anon! i wrote a bit about my drafting process here but that doesn’t encompass the idea building side of things (also i’ve made some changes to the process so i was thinking about writing a more cohesive, updated version at some point).

i tend to think of project ideas as piles of aesthetic, and usually i only begin writing once the pile has toppled over and i can’t not write it. that’ll make more sense in a moment. 

i’ll walk through 2 examples of my idea generating process, from how they started to where they are now. 

1. Vandal

Vandal is a novel i’m working on that i really have a lot of hope for. i’m about 60k words in right now and 75% finished. it’s about a teenage girl (sierra) who casts a spell on her hot, helpful neighbor (frank) to bind them together. the spell ends up working but backfiring when he becomes her foster father. then, in his custody, sierra gets jealous and casts a spell on his girlfriend (jenny) to break them up, but that backfires too: sierra gets taken out of frank’s custody and placed with a manipulative and abusive foster brother (leo). frank more or less kidnaps sierra and they have to Run From The Law. throughout the novel, sierra is inwardly battling Vandal, an immortal archangel that has possessed her and is trying to get her to kill herself so he can break free of the prison of her body.  

the idea for that story has a looooong breadcrumb trail and a huge aesthetic pile. since i couldn’t manage to get Baby traditionally published, i had a lot of that dynamic i could adopt into something else. i wrote at length about where that idea came from but i can no longer find that post (UPDATE: here it is). it’s somewhere in my training wheels tag. in short, i spent an entire summer watching/reading age gap stories and the male perspective in them bothered me a lot, so i wanted to write a story from the younger party’s perspective, and do the reality of those situations justice. i wrote that story, though, so i didn’t want to rewrite it. 

then, in december 2019, for reasons i don’t remember, i started reading snape/hermione fics. i really liked the dynamic, but it was a little too angsty for me, and none of the fics gave me the catharsis i was looking for, which was basically Grouchy Soft Boy Takes Care Of PTSD Weary Girl. being unable to find anything that fit the exact no-conflict, angstless dynamic i was looking for, i decided to write it myself using an A/B/O reylo idea i’d been kicking around for about 8 months but i could never land on, because i didn’t know if i wanted ben or ren. that fic turned out to be Reclaimed.  

to answer one of your questions, Reclaimed didn’t turn out the way i wanted it to at all, and i’m still kind of shocked by the traffic it has. i felt bad about writing it, because i was setting down so many other things to work on it, and it was a struggle from start to finish. at the time (and this is a major theme of my process), i thought it was a waste of energy.

but it opened a very important thematic concept to me, which is the idea of voicelessness and trauma, and recovery through finding one’s voice.

fast-forward to february, i’m headcanoning with @star-sky-earth just days before i have to head to nebraska for a writing residency. she and i are talking about a certain male celebrity who shall not be named, flirting with his younger female costar who shall not be named, and i said something along the lines of, “wouldn’t it suck to get a crush on a dude like him, only to find out he likes you back, and then you realize he’s actually kind of shallow and boring?”

i remember distinctly saying, out loud, “god fucking dammit,” because, right then, an aesthetic pile had toppled over, and an entire novel unfolded itself in my brain. i pound out an outline. it’s garbage. i play around with a vocal gauge. it’s not quite right. then, two days later, i write an opening scene that i don’t think is great but i send it to some people and they’re like, oh this is fire. 

the aesthetic pile looks like this:

lolita, where dolores is the one in control

delusions of grandeur born from a major traumatic event

obsessions with fairy tales and the escapism they provide

the consequences of extreme neglect

forced voicelessness as both a theme and a major structural constraint

a lot of wolf imagery

non-chronological timelines

i proceed to spend the next two days driving across the country brain-writing. by the time i reach nebraska, i hit the ground running, and write for basically 30-40 hours a week for 5 weeks. then, because pandemic, i decide to stay 2 more weeks, but i hit a snag. i write about 14k of really boring drivel and realize my outline has failed me. i toss the 14k and re-outline and try again. then, my attention is rattled by a crush on a composer who has no interest in me. 

i go home and fall into my annual summer depression and i lose focus. so, that’s where i’m at. i really miss vandal but it’s gotten super dark and i’m finding it difficult to manage darkness with everything going on. which brings me to my next aesthetic pile that has recently toppled over.

2. Eden

that’s not the title but it’s the project name. i’ve begun writing a YA sci fi comedy with an ensemble cast. this aesthetic pile took years to build before it toppled. it started with Elixir of Erised, hands down the best fic i’ve ever written by a huge margin. i reread it this past winter and was kind of amazed i’d written it. 

i really liked the idea of a potion showing you your deepest desires, but until recently have not had the patience to build an entire world around it. so, for the past 3.5 years, i’ve kept a document of “if i WERE to a YA SFF book with the themes of EOE, what would i want to include?” over those 3.5 years, here’s what the list became:

dark academia vibes

heist plot

soulmates

that list is not really conducive to an entire universe, and i never had the motivation to sit down and think through it. 

then i watched breaking bad, and a lot of things started clicking. at the same time, i was talking to my buddy kyle about my fallen knight archetype schematic, and i began fleshing out all the archetypes that went with it. i came up with 12. i built a database. i thought, wouldn’t it be cool to write something with ALL 12 ARCHETYPES?? haha but who would be dumb enough to do that?

me. i would. 

with breaking bad as the missing plot piece (which introduces the idea of conflict around the MANUFACTURE and DISTRIBUTION of addictive substances, with an ensemble cast of morally grey characters, which leads to a war), i had enough to get started. 

i wrote an outline. i wrote another outline. i wrote a third outline. i stopped to write some histories of this place i’d built. i wrote a fourth outline. gdocs became a mess so i downloaded scrivener and taught myself how to use it. i wrote a gauge of the first chapter and landed the voice on the first try. then i did a rough sketch of how a trilogy would go. then i outlined each book in the trilogy to make sure my character trajectories were on point. then i did a lot more worldbuilding. now i’m working on my fifth outline, which breaks the entire novel down scene by scene. 

and for Reasons, i’m tasking myself with writing the first draft in 6 days across two weekends. it’s a high-stakes adventure story with a very tight timeline, so i think it’s conducive to being written quickly.

which brings me to another question you asked, which is, what bad habits do i want to break? i always, always slow down at the halfway mark. sometimes i even give up. i have no idea why. no matter how much preparation i do, no matter how solid my endgame is, at the halfway mark i either slow to a crawl or set the whole project down and pick up something new. i do this with reading books, too. i can only ever read the first half of books. then i either skip to the end or put them down forever. it’s definitely something i have to figure out because at this rate i’ll never finish anything.

okay this took way longer than i thought it would to write but i hope it answers your question. tl;dr i follow aesthetic and thematic interests until they lead me to a point where i can’t not write the stories that develop from them. 

#writing advice #process #Anonymous

[sceptilemasterr]

MW Act 2, Scene 5 - Runaway

Title: Most Wanted: The Hollywood Killer (A CIU Screenplay)

Main Pairings: Dave x Sam

Other Pairings: N/A

Genre: Full Rewrite

Rating: PG-13 for violence, blood, swearing, alcohol, and sexuality

Summary: The three investigators explore Tull’s trailer, where they find more than they expected...

Previous Scene: Knock Knock

Masterlist: Link

INT. TULL’S TRAILER - NIGHT

Sam kicks the door in, and she, Dave, and Rhea enter the trailer. It is filthy. Trash, moldy food, and dirty clothes are scattered haphazardly. There is no sign of John Tull.

SAM: Dammit! He’s not here!

DAVE (disgusted): Eugh. At least he left a garbage heap of evidence...

RHEA: Literally. Eww.

She looks away from the garbage, catching sight of a photo that has been pinned to the wall near the bed. The photo shows a younger Tull standing with a large group of people, all wearing similar clothing and haircuts. A young girl stands just in front of Tull, who is resting a hand on her shoulder.

RHEA: Huh. What’s this?

Dave pulls on a pair of evidence gloves and crosses over to look at the photo. He gingerly picks up the photo and examines it.

DAVE: A family? His file didn’t mention that... Sam?

SAM: He doesn’t have one... at least as far as I know. Though who knows, with how little we’ve found about him?

DAVE: Might be worth followin’ up on.

He places the photo in an evidence bag. Then he turns, picking up a notepad sitting on a table nearby. He flips through the notepad, frowning.

RHEA (excitedly): A notepad? Ooh! Maybe he wrote his secret plans on it, or--

DAVE: Don’t get your hopes up, Rhea. It’s completely blank.

RHEA: Aww, and here I thought we had something.

DAVE (shrugs): Real life isn’t like the movies. The bad guys don’t usually write all their plans on...

He trails off as he notices something about the notepad.

DAVE: Actually, this might still be useful. The front page was ripped off.

RHEA: And that’s helpful... how?

DAVE: To be honest, I have no idea. But I bet forensics can get something out of it.

He puts the notepad in another evidence bag, then grins at Rhea.

DAVE: We’ll make an investigator out of you yet! Hey, Sam, have you found...

Dave and Rhea turn to see Sam staring at a sawed-off shotgun hanging on the wall. Her hands are balled into fists, and she is quaking with barely-contained rage.

DAVE (hesitantly): ...Massey? You okay?

RHEA: Looks like we found Tull’s weapon, at least--

SAM (with tranquil fury): That is not Tull’s weapon.

RHEA: What? But what else could it be? I mean, it’s here, in his trailer, with--

SAM: It’s the gun Tull’s been using. But it’s not his gun.

She reaches out, running her fingers along the gun’s barrel.

SAM (quaking with rage): It belonged to my mentor, Bill. He loved this gun... called it Old Genevieve. Look at this. Tull sawed it off. Desecrated it.

Dave crosses over to her, and hesitantly places a reassuring hand on Sam’s shoulder. She holds his gaze for a moment, then relaxes.

DAVE: We’ll get this bastard. I promise you.

SAM: We’d better.

Sam takes a deep breath, calming herself before starting to look around the trailer once again. The three of them search for a few moments in silence.

SAM: Right. So, we’ve got a picture of Tull with... some group or another, a blank notepad, and the weapon he stole. That ain’t nearly enough to go on.

DAVE: That about sums it up, yeah...

SAM: There’s gotta be somethin’ else.

She surveys the surroundings carefully, until her gaze stops at a pile of clothes draped across the far end. She stomps over to the clothes and shoves them aside, revealing a closet door behind them.

DAVE (impressed): Well, what d’you know?

SAM: Jackpot.

She grasps the door handle firmly and throws it open, revealing the inside of the closet. The entire thing is filled with a “shrine” to Hayley Rose; numerous newspaper clippings, photos, and magazine covers featuring the pop star cover every inch of the closet’s walls. The collage has been surrounded in a huge red heart, and several of the newspaper clippings have passages highlighted. Sam, Dave, and Rhea stare open-mouthed at the sight.

SAM: Holy...

RHEA: Freakin’...

DAVE: ...Shit.

They spend several moments just taking in the sight.

DAVE: How many words are there for “stalker?” Mirasol’ll have a field day with this.

He raises his phone and begins taking photos of the shrine from various angles. Rhea and Sam step closer.

SAM: Look... this clipping’s from her debut album in 2011.

RHEA: And here’s one from even earlier! 2003--whoa, fifteen years ago--this says that Hayley was just an orphan when she came to Hollywood. Wow, can’t believe the media never picked up on that story!

SAM: With stuff this old, he must’ve been collecting this for years now. Just waiting for the chance to--

DAVE (with sudden realization): Wait. What did you say?

SAM: Just sayin’, with stuff this old, he must’ve been collecting it all for years...

DAVE: That’s it. That’s the missing puzzle piece. Massey, Sarkar, you realize what this means?!

Rhea and Sam exchange glances as the same realization dawns on them simultaneously.

RHEA: No one hired Tull.

SAM: The people he killed... it wasn’t for cash. Gavin Routh, Jessica Greene... they wronged Hayley when they leaked her pictures. Tull must’ve thought he was doin’ it for her. Sick bastard.

DAVE: This whole time, we were looking for the person who hired Tull... but it turns out they didn’t exist.

SAM: One thing still bugs me, though. Why Hayley Rose? Out of all the celebrities in the world... why her?

RHEA (thoughtfully): Hang on... I might know why.

DAVE AND SAM: You do?!

Rhea pulls out her phone and starts tapping through it. A moment later, a familiar song starts playing.

HAYLEY ROSE (ON PHONE) (singing): Sirens flickering in your tail lights, your long-lost love’s your only flaw... You kill, you steal, you burn the daylight... ‘Cuz you’re my broken, bad outlaw...

SAM: You’re kiddin’ me.

DAVE: It’s the song! “Outlaw!” This redneck moron actually thinks the song’s about him?!

Suddenly, the distinct sound of a shotgun being racked is heard from off-screen! Dave and Rhea whirl to see Tull, standing in the trailer, his gun pointed at the base of Sam’s skull. Rhea shrieks as Sam stands stiff, teeth clenched.

TULL: Call me ‘redneck’ again, piggie, and I’ll splatter Blondie here all over ya.

SAM (angrily): Ugh. Li must’ve set us up--

Tull jabs Sam in the back of the neck with the gun. Dave whips out his pistol in a blur and aims it at Tull, trying to get a clear shot without hitting Sam.

SAM (mouthing): Take. The. Shot.

Dave hesitates, and Tull grins.

TULL: Attaboy, piggie. Don’t do nothin’ stupid. Put the gun down on the floor. Nice an’ easy, now.

RHEA (terrified): He’s gonna kill her! Dave, do what he says!

Dave thinks for a moment, then smiles.

DAVE: I think there’s something you’re forgetting, Tull. I know your secret.

TULL: The hell you talkin’ about?

DAVE: Hayley Rose? Your sweetheart? I saw your super-creepy shrine to her. C’mon, don’t you think she’s a little young for you?

TULL: Shut yer mouth, cop!

DAVE: I mean, seriously, you think she’d go for you? She dates rock stars and heartthrobs, not hillbillies who look like they just crawled out of a swamp...

TULL (growing angrier): I said shut up!

Sirens howl in the distance. Tull adjusts his grip on the gun, jamming it into Sam’s neck once again, as Sam glares daggers at Dave.

DAVE: How about we take this outside, huh? Fight like men?

TULL: I’m gettin’ real tired of listenin’ to your whiny voice, cop! How ‘bout I get this over with, right here?

He adjusts his grip on his gun.

DAVE: You’d shoot her, huh? Just like that. Kill her in cold blood.

TULL: Damn right I will.

Rhea steps forward, clearly terrified but with a confidence in her voice.

RHEA: Gotta say, Tull, you’re a real outlaw.

TULL: What... what did ya just say?!

RHEA (mock-innocently): Oh, you know. An outlaw. (singing) Sirens flickering in your tail lights, your long-lost love’s your only flaw...

TULL: Shut yer mouth, girl!

RHEA (singing): You kill, you steal, you burn the daylight...

TULL (seething with rage): Don’t. You. Say it.

RHEA (singing): ‘Cuz you’re my broken, bad outlaw!

Tull roars with fury and shoves Sam forward! Dave lines up his shot, but then Sam elbows Tull in the face, causing Tull to stagger back with a bloody nose! He raises his shotgun right at Sam, and then...

RHEA: No! You bastard!

Rhea suddenly charges at Tull! Distracted, Tull’s shot goes wide, hitting a stack of plates and causing the lights to flicker!

DAVE: Too close!

Tull turns, kicks Rhea away, and rushes out of the trailer, slamming the door shut behind him. Immediately, Sam runs after him, only to stop short at the door, barred from the outside and now immovable.

SAM: Rrrrgh! No! Tull is not getting away again! What the hell is wrong with you, Reyes?

DAVE: Wha... me?!

SAM: Why’d you stand there blabbin’ for an hour instead of shooting?

DAVE: Because I use my words, like a goddamn adult, and--

Both he and Sam pause in their argument to sniff the air. They exchange glances, all animosity forgotten for the moment.

DAVE: Do... do you smell something burning?

RHEA: Yeah, something’s burning all right!

She staggers to her feet and points toward the far end of the trailer, where thick black smoke is seeping in. Flames begin licking the corners of the trailer.

RHEA: We gotta get out of here! NOW!

_______________________

Next: Conscience and Variables

CIU Tag List: @brightpinkpeppercorn @endlesshero1122 @bbaba-yagaa @acidsugar0

MW Tag List: @griselda1121

#most wanted the hollywood killer #choices most wanted #choices stories you play #most wanted rewrite #ciu project #choices interconnected universe #fanfic #dave reyes #sam massey #rhea sarkar #john tull #hayley rose #yep that's right there's an official year this script takes place #it's not vague anymore yay! #also wonder if things will be different this time... #could tull's photo have something to do with the weird patch? #HINT: YES

[stutterfly]

Love Bytes 01 | BIOS Flash | KNJ (M)

Summary:  It’s been a year since you first met Kim Namjoon, the passionate, talented English professor at the local campus. He’s always been clumsy and aloof, but he’s on a whole new level in terms of “technologically incapable.” One call to IT was all it took to pull you into his life, and with it a whole string of friendships full of flirtatious banter and undying support. 

Your dating situation has been drier than the Sahara for years now, and you’ve wasted too many lonely nights drinking alone, so you try your hand at Tinder. But you’re not getting any bites. When the group finds out, they are more than willing to help--even Namjoon, though he finds it increasingly difficult to deny that he’s hopelessly smitten. You consider their opinions on potential Tinder dates while fighting off feelings you never knew were brewing for the caring soul who becomes the home you never had.

Word Count: 3.9K

Series: Love Bytes (1/?)

Genre: F2L, Fluff, eventual smut, friendship feels, slow burn, fluff, sexual tension, humor Bestfriends!au

Pairings: Namjoon x Reader, brot7

masterlist // next chapter 

A/N: It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything at all so I apologize for the first chapter being short. I plan on rewriting this beginning once I get into the swing of things again.

Do not repost.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Saturday nights are the best. It feels like the only time you get to hang out with your friends all week, the one night that everyone’s busy schedules all align. Min Yoongi, the quiet, empathetic bartender. Kim Seokjin, the sweet, creative chef. Park Jimin, the elegant, angelic model. Jeon Jungkook, the silly, driven personal trainer. Kim Taehyung, the rich, successful artist. Jung Hoseok, the energetic, spunky dance instructor. Kim Namjoon, the pragmatic, passionate college professor. And of course you, the IT person for the university Namjoon works for. It’s how you became involved in this tight-knit squad. Truthfully though, the seven of them are beautiful, godlike even. You count yourself lucky to be among them, even by accident.

It seems a little odd for someone so young to be so bad with technology, but Namjoon explained he has a habit of stuff breaking around him --he calls it a curse-- so it held no lasting shock value after you really got to know him. Shortly after he started, you saved his ass by replacing a very expensive projector out of pocket so he wouldn’t get in trouble with the university. He promised to make it up to you, and not just by repaying you the cost of the projector. He was genuinely grateful and easy to talk to. 

It’s no wonder you now call him your bestie.

At first disbelief swirled in your mind that a guy like Namjoon could know so many hot people, let alone be good friends with them. But even Namjoon is pretty for a professor, though it's something you’d never admit to his face. You don’t need him hanging it over your head since it's just an observation, not a confession. Better to let him suffer with the knowledge you think his friends are hot, and that he's mediocre. He doesn’t need the ego boost with the posse of college tail chasing him around campus. 

As you approach the shared flat of Jungkook and Taehyung, you hear the sound of explosions and gunfire. You listen a moment before knocking. Overwatch maybe? Then comes the unmistakable “NERF THIS.”

Yup, definitely Overwatch.

“Get on the payload! Over here! Tae! What are you doing!? Come on!” A high-pitched Jungkook is pleading through panic, but you can barely hear him over Taehyung’s drawn out hollering.

“Video games? That’s the big plan for tonight? What happened to going out to a club?” Hoseok’s disappointed voice carries through the door.

You let out a giggle at the sound before your knuckles are rapping just below the peephole, with 5 knocks knock---knock-knock---knock--knock. From the other side of the door comes the answering knock--knock before it swings open to reveal a grinning, wide-eyed Hoseok.

“Y/N!” The excitement when he greets you is bright enough to melt your heart.

“Hey, Hobi. Huh. Did I miss the party or is this it?”

He rolls his eyes, muttering under his breath, “I hope not.”

You scan the room. Taehyung and Jungkook are surrounded by pillows, controllers in hand with their eyes glued to the television. They don’t spare a glance, even as Hoseok slams the door like a child throwing a tantrum. Namjoon, who is lounging on the couch behind the boys, immediately greets you with a lazy “hey.” You notice a pile of blankets on the floor next to Jungkook as you wriggle out of your shoes.

“You alive, Yoongi?” You’re careful to step over the mess as the bundle begins squirming.

Mint hair emerges from the stack and you hear him groan. “If we’re not going out soon, I’m just going to stay here and sleep. I worked three doubles this week.”

“Three doubles? You sure you’re alive?”

“No,” he pauses, dropping his face back into a pillow, muffling the sound. “But at least I’ve got tips. Tips I can use to drink GOOD liquor and not the cheap stuff Jin is drinking. If we ever leave...”

“Okay, okay. We’re almost done,” Tae mumbles, eyes still fixed on the match.

You plop down next to your friend, stretching one leg across his lap. The response comes with a heavy sigh as Namjoon looks up from his phone. “For real? You know, there’s a whole lotta couch over there.”

He gestures lazily toward the empty cushion to your right. Not wasting a glance, you bring your other leg over his lap and recline fully across the space. “Better?”

“That’s just disrespectful.” He shakes his head as he resumes scanning his phone, but makes no attempt to move you.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah….” You mindlessly take out your own phone and open Tinder, hoping to see something noteworthy in your inbox.

Of course there have been crushes you developed in the last year within this group. Each one of them had their own way of flustering you, their own way of making you want to break the barrier between friendship and something more. However, you decided that messing with the group dynamic would be awful and unfair, so you made up a rule called “Firewall”; they were off limits and Namjoon agreed to help keep it that way.

The firewall rule did nothing to stop the biggest crush of all though, the butterflies when he said your name, or when he looked at you; it did nothing to stop the absolute thirst you had for Park Jimin. But you don't dare do anything about it. It would be awkward as fuck when he turned you down, at least that’s what you keep telling yourself.

To distract yourself from your ever-growing thirst, you downloaded a dating app a few months back. It's been more than a few years since you’ve dated anyone, and even longer since you’ve gotten laid. It's time to do something about it. You can't just keep on telling Namjoon his friend is bangable and pining for even a one-night stand with someone so fine, not when you know it's something you'll never act on.

While you created your own profile a while back, you've kept it a secret from your friends, afraid of the humiliation that would come with the discovery. The problem is that you found yourself comparing every potential match with Jimin. Who could possibly measure up to a goddamn model with a heart of gold? But you’re not dumb; you know you’re not on his level. Lowering your standards allows you to swipe right on a few guys, but your standards can only get so low and there's a lot of garbage to sift through.

Most of the conversations have been boring dead ends that last less than a week. Trying to get laid is turning out to be harder than the campus-wide changeover to Gigabit Ethernet last summer. You still have nightmares about being strangled to death with cables.

“Hey that’s my seat!”

The pout dripping from Jimin’s voice is palpable and you can’t help it when your lips curl into a smile at the sound. It’s almost intoxicating how much pleasure you derive from being able to pull a pouty voice from someone so gorgeous.

Clutching the phone screen to your chest, you drop your head to the armrest and over the edge of the couch to look up at the boy sipping out of a bendy straw. “Move your feet, lose your seat, Chim.” You raise your eyebrows at him. “Wanna be my headrest?”

You playfully kick at Namjoon’s thighs, trying to get him to volunteer his seat. Your boy, however, doesn’t have your back. He fails to take the hint or even acknowledge your attempt to move him.

Fuck you, Joon.

For a moment you see Jimin tonguing the inside of his cheek with consideration. You bite down, instinctively chewing your bottom lip. Watching him watch you feels like torture. There’s a hint of those bedroom eyes working over your form and you feel yourself trapped, pinned by the sinful gaze.

As if a switch is flicked, a shy smile creeps across his lips and he feigns innocence. “Maybe later, cutie.”

That man is going to be the death of you. You’re sure of it.

You can hear Jin and Hoseok doing shots down the hall and your desire to join them flares for a moment. Jimin seemingly has the same idea, and makes his way back into the kitchen with his drink. Your eyes follow his form as he saunters across the room, reflexively licking your lips at the way his ass moves in those jeans. You fail to fix your jaw as it goes slack. Your eyes glaze as you’re consumed by thoughts of gripping that same juicy ass as he’s plowing into you with his cock.

A throat clears from the direction of your feet, breaking the sinful imagery in your head. Namjoon is staring at you with that smug ‘do you wanna share with the class’ grin. He blinks in rapid succession and cocks his head to one side, mouthing the word ‘Really?’.

You feel warmth in your face, retorting with a silent, offended ‘What?’, to which Namjoon stifles a hard laugh with a slender finger. He shakes his head and begins typing on his phone. Not even a second later your phone buzzes.

Joonie: You want me to open your legs for him and point?? You got those fuck-me Jimin eyes going.

Instinctively, you flip up the hood on your sweater and tug on the drawstrings, as though they will hide the shame and heat in your cheeks. Your thumbs are like lightning as they move across the screen.

You: DON’T CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS. HE’S TOO HOT. I CAN’T HELP IT.

Joonie: You’re so thirsty. CHILL.

You: I 👏CAN’T 👏

Joonie: You know you could probably get it if you just asked already. You worry too much. He’s used to keeping things super casual.

You: yeah but I’m not

Joonie: I know. You’d make a big deal about it and freak.

You: wow rude

Joonie: I ain’t rude, just honest.

You: The only freaking i would be doin is in his bed

Joonie: Yeah, okay. 🙄

You: awww jelly Joonie is best Joonie. 😘

Joonie: 🤢Nah.

You: Try not to think of me gettin that high-speed hookup

Joonie: Cause it’s over so fast or???

You: …

Joonie: No comeback? Nothing?

You: Oh he’ll cum back alright… And on the front... maybe in the mouth? Idk if he’s got creampie privilege yet...

Joonie: 🤢🤢🤢I wish I was blind so I would never have had to read that with my own eyes.

You: that boy can penetrate my firewall any time 🍆

Joonie: ENOUGH 🤮

A fit of laughter creeps out of you when you look over and he smears a hand down his face slowly.

Joonie: Fuck it. I’m gonna show him this convo.

You: Good luck explaining a firewall

Joonie: You literally just said you want him to jizz all over you. Plus the eggplant, which is generous btw.

You: u wouldn’t know

Joonie: Wouldn’t I? 🤔 We were roommates once.

You: joke’s on you. Now im imagining an eggplant and an avocado, but the eggplant is still Jimin

Joonie: You know what people love? Avocados.

You: Smearing your thick avocado on those hipster girls?

You regret the text immediately, outwardly cringing as you hit send. The last thing you want to be thinking about is Joon’s cock, but with that euphemism, you can’t stop visualizing it in the worst way possible.

Joonie: …Are you done talking about my dick? 😏

“You drinking or what?” Ignoring the heat lingering in your cheeks, you pocket your phone and try to also ignore the way the top half protrudes from your annoyingly tiny front pocket.

He has a shit-eating grin strewn across his face, dimples forming thick creases in his cheeks. “I already pregamed.” He turns his attention to the match, which has been stuck in overtime for the last 30 seconds. “Go get your drink on. I’m good.”

You knock the phone from his hands as you swoop your legs off the couch, and his eyebrows raise at you in warning. “Watch it, Geeksquad.”

Maintaining eye contact, you rise and blink a few times. You have to assert your dominance and let him know where his lanky ass stands. “Oh Em Gee. I’m like. Suuuper sorry, Professor Kim!”

It’s not that you hear Yoongi’s laughter, but more that you see his shoulders moving the blankets in a steady rhythm. Namjoon’s disgusted groan that follows is music to your ears. You’d told him before two could play that game, and you always delivered. The amount of “Professor Kim, please don’t give me detention” lines were cringey enough as you were saying them, but it was that juicy pissed off Namjoon grunt that made every word worth it. With a witchy cackle, you follow the path around the hall that Jimin took to get to the kitchen.

Hoseok is waiting with a full glass outstretched. “Knew you were coming for one.”

You don’t bother asking what it consists of; you merely down the liquid and slam the cup on the counter. Wow, talk about a strong fucking drink. Was there any mixer in that? Man, you wished Yoongi was making drinks instead; he always gets it perfect. Hoseok tends to throw a bunch of shit together and live off the buzz for hours. Thinking about it now, you probably shouldn't have downed it that fast. But hey, thirsty girl and all that. You take what you can get.

“Aaaaahh, Y/N! My good friend!” You know Jin is already cocked as his arms constrict your airflow with the tightest of bear hugs.

You wheeze out a sound of surprise before your arms come up in a rigid motion to awkwardly pat him a few times. “Hey Jin. Started early?”

“Had the day off!” he states proudly. The loss of his body heat makes you shiver, but your lungs thank him for the relief.

Hoseok bursts into laughter, shoving a shot in your face. You find yourself laughing along with him before you down it in one gulp, face instinctively scrunching at the bitter taste of the cheap whiskey. Confused, Jin looks over at Jimin for explanation before succumbing to laughter without knowing what the joke is.

“It’s Saturday,” Jimin says plainly, his eyebrows knotted together in confusion. He’s smiling, but not nearly at the tipping point that Jin has passed to be laughing so hard. “We all have the day off.”

Of course the blonde’s response only makes him laugh harder.

“Man I wish I were that fucked up,” you say, watching the tall man keeled over in laughter.

Jimin pries the bottle from Hoseok’s hands and begins to pour you another shot. His hands are steady as he holds the glass out to you, his eyes warm and inviting. You can’t help but smile stupidly back at him. Soft fingers send a wave of electricity through you as they brush against yours. With a collected breath, you slam the shot faster than he poured it, swallowing the vile liquid as though it could save you from embarrassment of his touch. You reach for the bottle to pour it yourself this time, but the blonde-haired boy yanks it away from your grasp.

“Ah, now that I think about it, you should slow down actually…”

The pouty groan in your throat escapes before you can stop it. His mouth drops open in surprise before spreading into a cheeky grin.

“Aw, so cute!”

“You know, I can just take it back,” you blurt. Even though he has a point, maybe you just want to drink yourself stupid like Jin. Or maybe you just don’t like being told what to do. Maybe it's a little bit of both.

He cocks an eyebrow as if to challenge you, voice dropping an octave lower than normal. “Can you really?”

Every fiber of your being is screaming at you to abort mission yet you push through. You lean in close, trying to win this game of chicken you've grown accustomed to playing. He’s cheating, moving the bottle towards his back as you reach out. Your brows knit together as his smile grows impossibly wider. Damn that smug face. Your hand lightly traces the denim jacket along his arm, never leaving the contact of his eyes with your own. Instead of a bottle, you find an empty palm at his back, and it instantly grips you tightly.

Surprised but not willing to be outdone, you stand up straight enough to make yourself seem imposing, standing on your toes for extra assistance. For a moment he looks shy, like he might back off. The internal praise your mind produces inflates your ego. But instead he tilts his head to the side and towards you, inching nearer to your lips. Blonde hair sweeps across his forehead and he lets his eyes partially close, biting down on his juicy bottom lip to beckon you closer. Recognizing the seductive tactic, an unconscious restraint purses your lips and you trail shaky fingers across the denim of the other arm until you reach his back.

Feeling across the small of his back, your chest presses against his and you hold your breath to gauge his reaction. A sensual sigh fans your cheek as you drag your hand down, hoping to find the bottle and end the game. You'd like to go nurse the remainder of its contents and die of embarrassment. Again you find his hand, though as you grab this one, he intentionally drags your palm across his ass; he flexes his glutes as he does so, giggling when your jaw drops open.

“Wow, you would put me in this position, Y/N?” He clicks his tongue teasingly. He knows he’s already won, but he decides to put the nail in your goddamn coffin. “Such a dirty girl.”

The darkness in his eyes betrays the playfulness of his tone. Jaw still slack, the sinister expression of the man before you pins you in place. Desperate for escape, you suddenly notice Jin, who is standing unusually close. He takes a swig from the bottle, heavy-lidded eyes darting between Jimin and yourself. As Jimin breaks eye contact as well, you use the opportunity to slip from his sweaty hands and create distance. Jin is grinning like a madman.

“Such a dirty girl!” Jin croons, looping his arm around your neck.

“Such a dirty, girl!” Hoseok chimes in, hooking his arm with Jin’s.

You sigh, ducking out from beneath from the boys and leaning against the countertop behind you. “I’m not drunk enough for this.”

Two short buzzes alert you to a message. Tapping the power button, you check the screen discreetly to make sure you’re not missing a Tinder message. The flash of Namjoon’s text sparks disappointment and a hint of annoyance. You whisk away his message from the lock screen with a flick of your thumb.

“We can change that!” Jin assures, rushing into the next room, followed by an amped up Hoseok. “Taehyung where are your keys?”

“Huh? You’re not driving!” There’s a scrambling sound and the familiar jingle of keys.

“Well duh. I’m just saying you have the best car.”

“Yeah, but I want to drink too so we’re calling for Ubers. Who’s riding with who?”

“Drinking buddies! Pair up!”

You fail to miss the way Jimin’s eyes slowly drift over you as he passes by; it’s as though he wants to devour you --and god, would you let him after that intense eye-fuck. He pauses for a moment, letting his tongue dart out as he turns his head back to you. It looks like he might have something to say, but instead he smacks his lips and shakes his head.

On the counter sits the bottle, nearly empty. As soon as he’s out of sight, you take a hearty swig, finishing what you’re pretty sure is half syrup, half Jin’s spit. The recoil of the taste is easier to handle than whatever the fuck that was.

As you round the corner you nearly bump heads with Taehyung, who is sprinting down the hall towards the bathroom. “Gotta pee quick. Hold up.”

You find yourself distracted by the very fit Jungkook army-crawling his way around the floor, the muscles in his arms bulging with each movement. “You guys see my other shoe?”

Yoongi yawns as he sits up, rubbing his eyes. “A shoe?”

“Bless you!” Jin and Jimin are cackling, the familiar windshield wiper laugh drowning out the groans from the rest of them.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You’re sitting cross-legged on the thick platform beside the front steps of the apartment. The concrete is chilly and you’re grateful for the layer between your thighs and the stone. Jin had climbed into the first car with Tae, Yoongi, and Jungkook. They were probably already halfway there at this point. Hobi was bouncing his leg impatiently as he sat on the step beside you. You can tell by his grumbling that he was more than a little irritated about having to ride in the second car. Namjoon and Jimin were relaxed though, talking about their movie plans for tomorrow.

The glow of your phone is the only thing saving you from catching eyes with Jimin. On screen is a half-written profile of someone trying not to get caught by their spouse; you crinkle your nose and swipe left. Nope. In its place you see the thousandth picture today of a grizzled man holding a fish. Nope. Next is a shot of a guy looking down into the camera and you swear you can see up his nostrils and into the cavity where his brain should be. Nope. You continue on like this, cringing at each profile before swiping left. You’re not sure how they can get worse, but they keep finding a way.

Then you see a smile that’s fairly captivating. You tap on the next photo, expecting it to suck, but it doesn’t. Scrolling down, you read a humble, self-deprecating blurb about a confident dude with a clear love of cats and exercise that brings an awkward smile to your lips. At this point, you’ve swiped left so much that it’s become habitual and you’re feeling uneasy about doing the opposite. There has to be something awful you’re missing. You scan through a second time, begging for some kind of dealbreaker to ease your twitching finger. Still uncertain, you scroll back up and decide to look through some more pictures.

When you tap on the next photo, a steamy image of nude chest appears. The outline of abs glisten below in the reflection of a mirror, a towel draped lazily around his waist just below a dark, delicious happy trail. Your hand instinctively comes up to your mouth, teeth clenching down on a curled finger. As you drink in the sight, the breath catches in your throat and a fire burns in your chest, spreading quickly down your stomach to the heat in your pussy.

It’s then that you feel your stomach drop, the horror of another presence looming over the screen with you. Hoseok sits with his chin resting on a palm, staring down at the same image with a concentrated gaze. For a moment only your eyes move, now acutely aware of the man to your left. You’re frozen in place, hoping the shame will kill you instantly so you don’t have to face the following moments.

You sit motionless, like maybe if you’re still enough, he’ll forget you’re there. You pray his perception is based on movement as your teeth sink deeper into the flesh of your knuckle, letting only shallow breaths escape. But as the seconds pass, they grow increasingly unbearable. You turn your head, ever so slightly, immediately locking eyes with Hoseok. The crooked smile on his face speaks volumes louder than the whisper that follows.

“Such a dirty girl.”

#bts fanfic #bts #bts au #bts fic #bts scenario #bts smut #namjoon x reader #namjoon fanfic #AYSC #love bytes #namjoon smut

[luci-cunt]

hi im super sorry to bother you! but i was wondering if you had any writing tips? im like really bad at writing, like fleshing out ideas and then building on them? and i see your writing and im always amazed because everything is so put together!! also there's no pressure to answer this if you dont want to! 😊

asjfd;lsakdj why are all nonnies so worried about annoying me?? I love you guys??? especially when you say shit like thsi??? my brain is leaking out my ears aldskjf;lasdkj <3333

also: jasl;dkfjasd oh my god you think my writing is put together?? aslkdfj;asldkjf <333 ajsd;fasjdlfkjaljdf

This got a little away from me so here’s a TL;DR:

Hoard your writing

Realize it probably doesn’t look as bad as you think it does

GET INTO YOUR WORLD!

Characters make worlds

You’re your own carpenter and other peoples writing strategies probably won’t 100% work for you

Writing’s kinda like acting well: get in your characters heads! (and I mean ALL of your characters--even your villains. ESPECIALLY your villains)

My writing process is a mess don’t follow it XD

WRITE

I think one of my favorite pieces of advice is the fact that creators are ruined by all the answers XD. Like, idk if that makes sense but basically: as the author/ artist/ creator you see everything that goes into making your work work which means you can’t really ever know what the polished piece looks like.

I mean, if you want visuals being a creator is only seeing the back of your cross stitch, while your readers/ consumers only see the front final image.

(this wonderful Elizabeth Cady Stanton found here is a great example but Tumblr is being stupid and won’t let me post it in the actual answer XD)

To us, it’ll always look a bit unfinished or wonky, because we know just about all the details!!

The point I’m trying to go for is that: as the creator you can’t really know whether or not your work makes sense or is “put together” it’s why I love getting feedback so much--I’m an addict. For one: it’s hugely encouraging to get compliments and reactions (+ a nice boost to the ego ;) XD) but, at least for me, I’m always terrified nothing in my stories makes sense!

Having aid that, fleshing out details/ building on them is still important and I think it’s one of the most important things about writing. I’m assuming you’re meaning just general ideas, in which case--write it down. al;ksdjfajk I know that seems obvious but at least for me I write everything down OBSESSIVELY, and I delete NOTHING. I have a whole doc where I copy paste sections that I want to remove just so I have all of it, becuase you never know when it might make sense later or come back to you!

I guess what I’m trying to say is--HOARD YOUR WRITING!!! Even the stuff that’s cringy and stupid and kind of makes you wanna throw up because oh my god did I really write liek that??? One of the first things I ever wrote was basically a rewrite of this one youtube minecraft series I liked, I think I was like 12 and it was cheesy and all over the place and just utter garbage nonsense. Everytime I look at it I cringe because oh GOD, but I kept that shit! BUT! One of the side characters was a stroke of accidental genius and I’ve been trying to replicate it since! XD

K I got a little away from myself but also: building and fleshing out ideas is...... a unique process. It’s not like physically building something, because at least with that there’s specific ways to go about doing it, but it’s more like.... idk taking pieces from other people until you get the strategy you want.

I’m a dumbass with ADHD so my strategy is the Jack Karouac. He was a classic american author known for his book “On the Road” which he famously wrote all in one 3-week sitting. He used a roll of ticker paper so he didn’t have to change it on his type writer and just wrote.

When I get an idea I sit down and just write everything out, my strategy is usually to frame it like I’m writing a letter to someone--YES snarky commentary included! XD--it just helps flow things.

So say I have an idea for a story, first I write an into something kinda stupid like “Ok I just came up with this like four seconds ago and now I need to write it out” and then I start with the most vivid details and go from there. Usually that means characters, I’ll describe them only as they pop up in my head (sometimes this means everything from name down to the way they tie their shoelaces and sometimes it’s just ‘best friend of mc’), then I work my way out from there, asking questions and writing the plot out.

Questions are worldbuilding things like “is this world like earth? is it in this time period? if it isn’t what time period? why that time period? this persons job is x, why? when did boy-next-door move in? why is there that scar on her face?” and usually while this is happening I’ll come up with little dialogue snippets that I just dump into a “Snippets” pile XD. Again--those are sometimes full pages of scenes I’m thinking of, or just dialogue bits I want to use or just more character quirks.

Once I’ve done that I drop it all and leave. Go for a run or a walk or make some food or whatever and DO NOT touch it or even THINK about it for at least a day. Then, come back and read over what you’ve got and fidget with it until you’ve got something at least resembling a story XD.

K wow this got long but lastly: Characters make worlds! If you’ve got kinda iffy world building or a plot you’re not very happy with, as long as the characters are enjoyable and real people will like it. Idk if you’ve read the All For the Game series but the world building is GARBAGE. lakjdsf;klj that’s not an exaggeration: a kids dad is a mob boss who works for the Japanese Yakuza who also run a fictional sport called Exy and regularly torture/ brainwash people. That’s just wild right there--BUT people adore it because the Characters are interesting and real.

Another example is the Green Creek series: I love those books to death but I stg Klune just recycles the same plot/ character drama every book and I STILL go back and reread them because the CHARACTERS!! And a LOT of people love those books despite the fact that they’re all basically the same.

Characters. Make. the. Story.

Idk, maybe I put too much weight on characters and I don’t know what I’m talking about, but--at least for me--I put the MOST effort into making my characters real and something people will be interested by and hopefully connect with, and I think it works out ok XD

Sorry this is rambly and long, I like talking. :) I hope this helped!!! Maybe?? ajs;dflajk

#luci doesn't shut up #wow this really got away from me sorry lkasjdf;laskdj #I hope this helps??? #you're wonderful!! keep writing you're amazing!! #writing advice #also please don't follow my exact ritual because holy fuck you will nto get enough sleep

[ashvayr]

MY WRITING PROCESS ―

i’ve found that there is a rather small amount of stuff out there for writers wherein they can actually see the step by step process of creating a piece of written work. you don’t really get to see the behind the scenes stuff or the eventually deleted stuff. i am by no means an expert and i still have a lot to learn (a lot a lot), but i still think this might be interesting to those looking for something similar. enjoy!

the following excerpt is from a conversation between lukas tkachov and miko dvorak from my current wip ‘blood and bones.’

- proof i make everything up the first time. - i never expect very much from myself on this first run and a lot of times i’ll delete whole paragraphs. even if something is really good, i may have to take it out because it doesn’t fit the scene. - i keep all of these bits and bobs though (as should you!! never throw away any writing ever, even if it’s bad!!) just in case i might need them later or find a way for them to work. - i do not recommend writing your first drafts in apps like wattpad, because you risk losing them there. not to mention the writing ui is complete horse shit.

- i always just write just the dialogue first, that way when i want to write in the style of the story, i don’t have to switch between tones. - its also a really great way to make sure the people talking sound like people and the conversation is consistent. - if you’re doing this with multiple people you can color code or put an initial in front of the words. i tend to just do extra lines in between because i’m lazy - highly recommend!!! you do this!!! 

- some brainstorming where i fought myself for a little bit in the comment section. essentially i had differed from the planned personality of miko in my outline and needed someone more outgoing than what i had originally decided.  - this happens a lot when i first write characters because ultimately i change their personalities to fit the scene. i have a feeling that is bad and you should probably do the exact opposite, but hey do as i say, not as i do.  - a good time to note: i put all my first draft content in that dark teal color, it helps to remove the illusion of permanence. sort of like i’m typing in pencil and can always erase. i basically trick my brain into realizing that we want any and all content, even if it sucks. (writing in a stupid font can also help!)

- ignoring some very obvious grammatical errors dtrfyghuj - i write the actual writing above or below the previously written dialogue so i can see it as i do. - i also look at notes constantly and edit those notes while i write. - i make sure to read back some finished writing from earlier in my draft, if i have any. this way i know what the hell is going on and can keep writing in the same style. this is why i won’t read other things/multitask while i write because it can throw me off. you do you though. - in actuality, this is what i would call a base layer, its the bones of this operation. for the editing process, this smoking hot pile of garbage is what i’m going to be working with. revel in all its awfulness. then shed a tear for me. - note that this is not all the dialogue i just showed you. - i then rewrite the entire thing from scratch, right above or below and still referencing the previous writing. i will keep some stuff, change some stuff, and expand most of it.   - this beefing up of descriptions when i edit is probably not super great because then i have paragraphs between dialogue. that being said this is the first draft and i don’t care very much. i will care later, but definitely not now.   

- here is a more detailed look into my thought process in this section, why i changed what i changed essentially.  1. i was splitting up the thought of lada between two paragraphs, ideally, I would keep them in one, like the paragraph before when i mentioned her first. this is really only a me thing i don’t think that generally it's a rule that would be applied to anyone else's writing. 2. i put this here due to what i’m going to call......mh...writer’s fatigue. that sounds real. basically, i was lazy and didn’t feel like thinking about lukas’ character. he’s adaptable, curious, and driven, so laughing hysterically is probably something he wouldn’t do. i’ll replace that text with something else or get rid of the line entirely.  3. more of a stylistic change. saying ‘anything’ sounds a bit out of place and somewhat elementary in comparison to the rest of this piece. it doesn’t match, essentially. i’ll probably want to tie this back in with the point i made in the sentence previous.  4. this is what a comment to a specific word looks like in docs. this is when i have removed a line or thought of one that might fit, but am not really certain about, so i put it in a comment, that way i have it save for later.  5. a line i may or may not remove. 6. here is something i will definitely keep, this is characterization. yes it’s sort of rudimentary, but i can work out the kinks in a minute. 

- i personally think that their conversation seems to be a bit impersonal, sort of like they don’t really know each other, but i’ll fix that in my draft edits because i’ll have a much better idea of the relationship after i’m done writing.  - as you can see though, this is a lot less of the conversation on one page as i’ve made some changes and extended descriptions. (what you see is one and like a quarter page.) - it’s also not perfect, but it is a better version of what was before.   - the most important thing to note here is how i’ve moved stuff around and made small tweaks and adjustments. the moving around bit helps it sound a bit more cohesive and that's a really big thing when i move on to final final editing, so the thoughts and actions don’t sound so all over the place.  - this is when i put it through grammarly (use grammarly, love grammarly, marry grammarly, in that order) (no seriously) and let a friend, or sometimes my mom, ilu mom, listen to me read it.  - reading your writing out loud is important!!!!!!!!!! i do it all the time, it makes stuff sound less wonky and you spot more spelling mistakes.  - most stories were originally told orally, too, so if you can say it out loud and it sounds pretty decent you’re probably on the right track.  - now for some Thought Processes (with just the first page lol.)

- we love inconsistant color and font size because i was too lazy to save the other file Anyway (also gross i said ‘issues’ twice?) 1. in descriptions of characters, i find its always really good to ground them to the world. with just a couple of words, you have learned quite a bit about the nobility of vysena. yay learning. 2. nicknames are a good way to establish the previous existence of a relationship or something specific about both or one characters, respectively.  3. when i end parts and then start a next scene that takes place hours or days later, i like to make sure that my readers still sort of know what they’re doing or going through. it can also be interesting to see that character from the point of view of another! 4. for this particular book, supernatural beings and elements are very much real things and things i want people to know about. if it's not a major secret to the characters, i find that the reader should also pretty much be aware of the same things. like pop culture but for magic and also centuries ago.  5.  this paragraph is also something i’m considering removing and putting in a different chapter, but for the sake of this Whole Thing i kept it in. it doesn’t really fit the mood, its a lot more....i dunno...awe-inspiring and less my-dad-just-got-stabbed. 6. when briefly introducing a character, i like to give the readers something to associate them with. this is done so when you actually meet this person later, it is more like you were told a rumor and then can confirm it (if i’ve done my job right.) you also get a sort of negative feeling from the get-go with this character.  7. self-explanatory. 

- my next step, after grammar and reading, is to keep writing. wild i know. - but really i don’t want to dwell too much on one part or i’ll never get anything done. not to mention this is draft one!! i don’t care if its bad, as long as its written. it being bad is a future me problem. - one of the greatest writing tips i’ve ever been given when writing chapters, is to leave the readers feeling a different way when it ends from when it had begun. like this chapter sort of starts of sad, but it ends leaving you with a sense of mystery and suspicion. this can be more drastic too like...sensual to disgusted. obviously, this doesn’t have to apply to every chapter, but the best stories are the ones that make you feel things. - i started with 287 words for the dialogue.  - then went on with 1,169 words for the bones. - and finished with 2,126 words total for that scene.

read the book  follow the tag playlist / pinterest

taglist:  @montevena @evervicious @meegeewrites @the-ichor-of-ruination @starrywritingg @zmlorenz @the-real-rg @noloumna @norawritess @gorelips  let me know if you want to be added or removed!

#i think it has a lot to do with the fact that everyone writes differently no two people outline write and edit in the same manner and that’s #that’s a really good thing tbh because it allows for a lot of diversity. that being said to new writers there is often this notion that the #first draft is always perfect that someone who is a good writer is always good. #bab #mine #that was Really long lmao #hope u guys found it useful though???? #not like my best writing but u know

[langst-wins]

my personal favorite first draft writing tip: write it on paper.

i never ever ever write a first draft on a screen, ever. why? it's way too easy to go back and start editing before i've even finished a single chapter. when you write on paper, you're forced to just keep pressing forward no matter how big of a steaming garbage pile the story is, because you can't exactly go back and line edit every single sentence when you're writing on paper. you have no choice but to say "wow yeah that sucks, that's some abysmal writing right there," accept it, and keep going.

this is GOOD. you don't want to spend time polishing your first draft before its even done. because if you finish the first draft and end up realizing that scene wasnt even necessary and you have to scrap it, or realizing you need to rewrite that scene in an entirely different way, guess what? all the time you spent polishing that scene was completely wasted.

and that's only if you actually FINISH the first draft. i've never finished a first draft that i tried to write on a screen. it takes way too long when there's nothing stopping you from obsessing over what you've already written and trying to make it "perfect."

i buy a bunch of journals and I just...absolutely word-vomit onto the page. and i try not to go back and reread anything i wrote on previous pages if i can help it.

once the first draft is done, it's ugly and messy and not so great - but it's DONE. now you can take this giant lump of boring clay and shape it into something beautiful. but you can't make something beautiful if you don't have the clay there to begin with.

you might think the downside here is that you then have to go and type up all 200,000 ugly, messy words of your draft onto the screen exactly as they are, fighting the urge to change any of it as you go, so you can have a digital copy of your first draft to begin molding. i would disagree that that's a downside. i think this is VERY useful.

i used to think it was a downside and just the price i had to pay for writing my first draft in those pretty, portable journals. but then i realized: you know what? this is actually a GOOD thing. by typing up the words exactly as they are from the journal to the screen, I'm forcing myself to read the cringey bad first draft writing that I tried to avoid going back and rereading while I was writing it. I can take notes as I go about what I want to change, why, and how. i have plenty of time to mull it over and decide what my next steps are. by the time I start the second draft, I pretty much know exactly what needs to change and how I'm going to do it, because I've had so much time to think it through.

i just wanted to share this because i hear people talk a lot about fighting the temptation to go back and rewrite before they're even done writing. this is how i literally force myself to not do so.

just remember that the first draft is not your story. the first draft is just the big pile of junk you have to dig through so you can pick out the precious antiques, and THOSE are your real story. nobody else ever has to see that first draft if you dont want them to.

and here are some picture quotes on first drafts to aid in my point because i'm actually procrastinating on writing my own first draft by making this post hmmnnnnnmm

happy new year's everyone! writers, let's get this fresh 2019 bread!

#writing #writer #writing tips #first draft

[dukeofriven]

Hussie, Hitler, And Boy I’m Tired

I said earlier that I didn’t want to put on my hip waders and muck about in the Homestuck tags. *pulls off hip waders* I went anyways. I went even though I was feeling pretty good because I had a nice dinner and got to watch the New Years Bake-Off special. I went anyways, and I did it for you, my eight followers who aren’t pornbots. It turns out the Homestuck fandom of Tumblr is as scary and hyperbolic as ever, and has taken one lousy bit of badly written crap and extrapolated that backwards into ‘Homestuck has always been a racist anti-semetic pile of garbage and everything about it is terrible and Andrew Hussie needs to die.” I’m not paraphrasing, by the way. Someone out there is chanting ‘die Andrew Hussie die,’ because he had the gall to... clumsily dunk on Hitler like a fifteen year old trying to impress his English teacher with edgy comedy? This new stuff is too dumb to be offensive, especially in an era with, y’know, Hitler-praising alt-right Neo Nazis actually being mainstream media figures.  Hey Tumblr fandom? Can you... mm not chill, chill’s not the word I’m looking for what is it... oh yes. Can y’all fuck off for once?

Tumblr doesn’t deserve to enjoy things because it doesn’t know how to enjoy things responsibly. It lurches from adoration to hatred without pause, and as a writer it gives me nothing but an anxiety. I cannot produce anything imperfect, I cannot ever write crap because if I do then all my work will be tainted by it forever. On Tumblr you are always judged by your worst effort, which is a fucking god-awful standard for large media franchises of any kind. You know who one of the greatest, most thoughtful, socially-driven authors of the twentieth century was? Terry Pratchett. You know what’s kind of sexist and lazy and awful? The Colour of Magic. You know what’s weirdly colonialist and smug and all-around shit? Snuff! Neither of those shitty books invalidate the forty other Discworld novels. The existence of Anchorman’s bloviating nothingness doesn’t erase Will Ferrel’s warm and desperately human performance in Stranger Than Fiction. The Forced Kiss Equal Romance kiss in Blade Runner doesn’t erase the rest of the movie piercing question on the nature of what it means to be human. And on and on and on. Andrew Hussie’s sneeze-shart dogshit history rewrite that was so embarrassingly bad it got pulled from the internet didn’t erase Rose/Kanaya, or gay Dave, or Joey Claire tap-dancing her little heart out to try and defeat a monster. And even if Andrew Hussie does a JK Rowling and produces nothing but ill-thought-out crap from here until the day we all die in the great Disney Final Merger of 2023, it still won’t invalidate the good moments that made you happy. I mean if Andrew Hussie toddles out of retirement onto a talk show in a bathrobe to discuss his new revelations on the Puppetgrandmasters of Scion who all have worryingly Semetic names, I’m not going to be so naive as to pretend that his earlier media can be consumed in some kind of vacuum, that the future cannot affect the past. but I am saying that the good that happened in it - the things that affected you in positive ways - are not ethereal. It mattered to you then, and that’s okay. Tumblr’s hyperbolic responses seem to be rooted in embarrassment and self-flagellation. People seem so terrified by the thought that anyone might associate them as a fan of something - gasp - linked to controversy that they... well, they say shit like “die andrew hussie die.” Hey dude. Hey. You need to redirect that anger, my friend. There’s actual Neo-Nazis in the streets. On the TV. In the US government. I guess what I’m trying to say is... Woof. Okay. You know, to give Andrew Hussie partial credit here, its nice to see someone actually write Adolf Hitler the way he really was - a pant-shitting constantly whiny toddler of a human being who endlessly threw tantrums and got to where he was largely on the strength of other people’s bad decisions. Remember kids: the biggest myth Neo-Nazis have ever perpetrated is that Germany under Hitler was well-run, well-organized, and anything other than a collection of squabbling dysfunctional fiefdoms run by party hacks propped up by a bureaucracy and military too bound by inertia, ego, and cultural racism to do anything to stop a lunatic from ripping their country to shreds. That whole ‘trains running on time’ thing? It’s nonsense. Go study the conduct of the war once Germany had exhausted all its pre-war stockpiled resources and ran out of useful shit to loot, once it had to start relying on its leadership for the things that make wars winnable - supplies, reinforcements, fuel, winter clothing. Watch the way from 1942 onwards Germany stumbled from one disaster to the next, as Hitler fired more and more generals and drew more and more authority to himself and his fellow party cronies. Hitler should not be feared as a man of competence or skill - he was a buffoon, a clown of a human being fuelled entirely by petty, vindictive spite and an unlimited capacity for cruelty. And before anyone goes ‘well if he was so objectively pathetic how the fuck did he take over Germany’ I direct you to google the last two years of American politics and the words ‘Donald Fucking Trump.’ [I recommend, on these war subjects particularly, Sir Antony Beevor’s bleak and sobering works, particularly Stalingrad, Berlin: The Downfall 1945, and Ardennes 1944: Hitler's Last Gamble.]  Sorry this... kind of got away from me somewhat, but I really hate it when people get mad that someone didn’t take Hitler seriously (and, to be strictly fair, this is not what everyone is mad about in regards to Andrew Hussie, either). You should never take Hitler seriously. Take hate seriously - take violent words, and calls for purity, take his ideas of superiority and racial preeminence and anti-semitism seriously as the evils, the horrors as they are. But the man himself? He literally stank - a combination of his halitosis, chronic flatulence, and was constant diarrhea. [I am not exaggerating] He was a sad pathetic clown, and Andrew Hussie chose to write him as such. He just... went too far. It happens. It’s not good writing. It’s fucking shit, to be honest. Boring shit. The Minions movie decided to have the Minions sit out the entirety of WWII by having them get stuck in a cave or some such. Honestly that’s a better option than what Andrew Hussie went with - and ‘be more like the Minions movie’ isn’t advice I give that often. You want to be disgruntled that an author wrote something this bafflingly tone deaf and tedious? Sure. I know I am. But to chant for his death? Are you fucking kidding me? Look! Look out your window at those marching Neo-Nazis trying to establish a white supremacist state? What the ever-loving fuck are you people doing in here getting ready to string-up a man whose crime was making Adolf Friggen Hitler too petty???????? Tumblr. Tumblr, for the love of god this has to stop. This ‘Ceasar’s wife must be above reproach’ shit has to stop - it’s killing fandom, it’s killing good media critique, it’s burying proportional fan response, and its just exhausting. Why can’t you ever just let something be lousy without it being literal death warrant? There’s real demons out there - I can see them out the window, and every time I turn on the TV. Maybe - just bloody maybe - not every single crime deserves the exact same level of disapprobation and punishment? Maybe we could read some content and say “boy that sure had some lousy implications and also was just really poorly written” and then... stop there? Wouldn’t that be nice, for a change? We could dislike something without feeling like it required activism on our part. We could say ‘this piece of media was shit, but it didn’t advocate for a white ethno-state, so I will continue to think of it only until the end of this sentence.’ I am not advocating for an end to media criticism for anything that isn’t openly hate speech (but if you think that I am I am going to assume you’re already so needlessly enraged about this whole matter that I’m a bit puzzled why you’ve bothered to read this far since its obvious we don’t agree on many fundamental issues.) What I am calling for is the end to death threats against people who don’t mean you harm. Because that’s lunacy. That’s beyond the pale, actually, that’s really disturbing and sickening and you should seriously reconsider your relationship with media. Because there are people out there who do want to hurt you. Their lives are fuelled by hate, their philosophies are driven by it, as are their politics. I assure you that when a time traveller steps through a portal trying to prevent the rise of ‘the great Trump War of 2020′ the inciting incident will not be ‘Andrew Hussie trivialized the holocaust by citing its origins as a grudge Adolf Hitler bore Albert Einstein over a rivalry in secret clown ninja school before being taken on as an agent of a baking-obsessed alien space witch and bumped into power by the Peters principle.’ Because just by writing that sentence I have already reaffirmed a very simple truth: this is way, way too stupid to give the slightest shit about. So let’s tell Andrew Hussie that his new work is... mmm.... kind of like a shit if a shit had a shit that was itself shat out by a shit and then vomited on by another shit who had eaten nothing but shit since Sunday. Let’s tel lhim “hey dude, your clownish work summoned the spectre of anti-semetism, and you can do better.” Frankly, I think that message was already sent, since in the two hours between me going to make and eat dinner and then coming back to my computer, the new material was discovered, read, disseminated, and removed. Two hours. Sure, maybe a bit of lag due to what does and does not hit my feed but come on - this all took place in an afternoon. It’s already down. Our voices were heard - we didn’t think this was very good, and apparently Whatpumpkin agrees enough that they didn’t mount a defence of it. Rather than take the next logical step, though - which seems to be calling for the death of Andrew Hussie and removing all of Homestuck from the internet and maybe nuking Toby Fox from orbit just to be extra-sure? - we could do... something else. Talk about the release date for Stranger Things, maybe. Track down some local Neo-Nazis and punch them. Read some Antony Beevor books and really educate ourselves on what a smelly fuck-up Hitler was so we can chant that at Neo Nazis at their next rally. Or you could watch the New Years Bake-Off special. It was pretty good.

#homestuck #andrew hussie #hitler #hiveswap #hiveswap friendsim #whatpumpkin #skaianet #bake-off #terry pratchett #homestuck analysis