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have-kake · 21 days

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Big Brother [3/3]

Three instances of big brother instincts within the chain. [Ao3 Link]

[Part 1: Wind] [Part 2: Twilight] [Part 3: Warriors]

The chain had been traveling aimlessly until a portal dumped them back in the middle of Hyrule field. Legend groans loudly at their surroundings. It feels like every time they decide to go to a town, a portal gets in their way.

"I think this is mine," Time says, a faint smile on his face.

Hyrule instantly perks up. "Does that mean we get to see Miss Malon again?"

Time grins at him. "If you don't mind the farm work."

Wind woops in response much to everyone's amusement.

"Welp, I guess it's settled," Wars says patting Time on the back "We're off to see the Missus again!"

Malon greets them all warmly. She spends time hugging each of them as she welcomes them home. She even introduces them to her father who's home this time. He's a portly old man with deep crows feet and laugh lines around his mouth. Much like Malon, he's able to instantly identify Twilight as a farmer.

Time tries to put them to work but quickly gets overruled by Malon and Talon. Wars won't admit it, but he's grateful for their intervention. Farm work is hard. Last time, he felt muscles he didn't even know he had ache!

Some of the group still insist on working, though. Twilight bullies his way into helping Malon clean the cow stables. Sky is more than happy to herd cuccos. And Four finds his way to the farrier.

Wars grins as Time shuffles around the house for a few minutes. He's completely changed out of his armor into stiffer clothes. "Heading out to help too?" Wars asks.

Time pauses in his search to look up at him. "Hm? Yeah. I'm gonna help Talon weed the crops."

Wars' grin widens. He glances around making sure the others aren't around. "You know," he starts off innocently. He tries not to laugh at the look Time gives him. "I'm glad I finally get to meet my little brother's old man. He must have a well of Patience greater than the expanses of time itself to deal with you."

"Just because I've told him about you doesn't mean he believes it."

"Malon believed you. Besides, it won't be too hard to convince him."

"You're going to be insufferable aren't you?" Time asks drily.

"Oh, absolutely," Wars replies without hesitation. "It's only fair."

The weary sigh of defeat he gets is music to his ears.

Wars sits on the porch as Wind, Hyrule, and Wild all run around in circles. He won't pretend to know what game they're playing, but it's nice to see them relax.

"Aren't there nine of you boys?"

He smiles at Talon as the old man takes a seat in the other chair. "Legend's inside taking a nap," he says. "He gets cranky when we're on the road for too long."

Talon laughs. "I'd've thought a Hero would be used to the road."

Wars startles. He knows Time tells Malon everything and she believes him, but he made it seem like Talon never did. It's jarring to hear him speak with the same candidness Malon does, but Wars is glad Time has people he can talk to. "Legend's been through more adventures than any of us," he explains. "All in just a handful of years... He deserves the rest."

"You boys are all so young," Talon says quietly.

Wind shrieks in delight when Hyrule picks him up and tosses him to Wild. Hyrule's accompanying laughter is carefree, and even Wild's smile is easier than usual.

Mask was bitter when he first stepped through the portal. It had nothing to do with the horrors of war. He was already haunted by pain and loss long before he ever set foot in Wars' era. He was so young; about the same age as Wind at the time. Yet the two are as different as night and day.

Sensing his mood, Talon starts to get up. "What d'you say to helping me get started on dinner, boy?"

Wars follows him with a quiet chuckle. "I know an order when I hear one, sir," he grins, "but fair warning: I'm a terrible cook."

He's surprised by how well Talon directs him around the kitchen. It's not the ease with which Time and Malon function with each other, or the ease Wild finds in any kitchen. But it's nice.

Time enters some time later and pauses at the sight of them. He raises a single eyebrow when Wars spots him.

Wars shrugs in response.

"What happened to letting the boys rest?" Time asks.

"I know a man in need of a distraction when I see one," Talon responds plainly. "See if you can't go help Malon and your boy. Dinner'll be done in an hour."

Time narrows his eyes at the two. Wars gives him a cheeky grin and Time scowls. They're not planning anything, but Time doesn't have to know that.

Talon chuckles at their exchange. "He keeps doing stuff like that, and I'll have to believe him."

"Oh?"

Talon claps him on the back. "I know what brothers tormenting each other looks like."

Wars laughs. "I need to get payback somehow."

"So you really knew him when he was a kid?"

"Only for about three years, but yes."

Talon hesitates for a moment. Wars is instantly on guard. "Has he always been vague about his answers?"

"What do you mean?" He asks carefully.

"Like if you ask him the things he's fought."

Wars instantly relaxes. "Lemme guess," he says drily. "The moon."

Talon nods with a tired look. "He won't explain it either."

"I know what you mean," he sighs. "When he first showed up in my world and demanded to fight, we asked him what the biggest thing he fought was and he said the moon. So we asked him what he meant. And guess what he does?"

Talon points up.

"Yes!" He raises his arm straight up and points. He does his best impression of Mask's scowling face, and with a patronizing voice he says, "I mean the moon! What's so hard to understand about that? If you don't get something as easy as that, why are you even in charge?"

Talon howls with laughter.

"So a few weeks ago I ask him the same thing. Y'know, to see if his answer's changed." Wars grins. "Hey Old Man, what's the biggest thing you ever fought?"

"The– oh ho," Talon wheezes between laughs. "The moon!"

"The moon!" Wars crows. "And he still refuses to elaborate!"

Dinner prep continues on for almost another hour. Wars knew that making food for so many people was a process, but he never realized how intensive it was. He's more than a little frayed by the time they finish. Talon pats him on the back approvingly, and the looks on the others faces is more than worth it.

He spends a little time watching the others as they settle down to eat. Time and Twilight sit on either side of Malon. Wind takes a seat next to Talon and makes easy conversation with the old man.

Wind really is a kid of many talents. He handles a grumpy Legend with the grace of a practiced brother while falling for his bait in equal measures. Yet he's able to hold long and easy conversations with adults and the elderly.

Wars is glad his adventures don't weigh him down. At least, he hopes they don't and Wind isn't just hiding the pain.

"You okay, Cap?" Twilight asks.

"Yeah. Just thinking of the little brother I had for a second."

Twilight and those closest to them grow quiet. "Sorry."

Wars raises an eyebrow before laughing loudly. "It's nothing like that!" He assures to all the sad faces. "It's just what he became to me. He was sent home when all was said and done. I do still miss him to this day, though," he sighs with a hand on his chest. He grins at the way Time snorts.

Wind lets out a loud sound of disappointment from across the table. "Does that mean I'll never get to meet him?"

Sometimes Wars forgets Wind spent a few weeks in his war. It was so late into the fighting, the war was practically over. That and he was far from the main fighting, usually just holding the far lines from any advances. It's just as important for holding the army together as the main lines, but fairly uneventful by the time Wind got there. He's still kicking himself for not making the time to go meet him properly back then.

"Count yourself lucky," Wars teases. "I love him, but he was an absolute menace."

Legend snorts. "Can't be that bad."

"Two words," he says making eye contact with Time. "Mask Duty."

Wind chokes on his juice. After he gets his coughing in control he all but shouts, "Mask was your little brother?!”

He's taken aback by the response. "Yeah?"

Wind scrambles to pull his sleeve back and hold up his forearm. "He bit me!"

Wars' jaw drops.

Talon and Hyrule lean over to get a better look.

Wars turns to Time who's studiously picking at his plate. He rubs a hand over his face with a groan. "Great Three, please have mercy on me. Is that why I was stuck on stable duty for almost two months?"

The others snicker at him.Time uses the noise to mutter a quiet, "No," but Wars knows that tone. It absolutely was his fault.

With a long dramatic sigh, Wars uses his melodramatic voice, as Mask liked to call it. He likes to call it his tired older brother voice. "Wind, on behalf of my little brother, I apologize for his horrible behavior. I ask you find it in your heart to forgive him."

Time glares at him but he has practice ignoring that particular look.

Twilight whistles lowly. "That sounds practiced. How often did he get in trouble?"

Wars resists the urge to smirk. "More times than I can count," he sighs sadly. "But I'm sure you'd all rather hear something else."

Just as expected, the table explodes into commotion. He sends a smirk Time's way and nearly cracks. Time's scowl has turned into a full on pout. Suddenly Wars finds himself look at Mask like he's been caught sneaking into the stables for the third time that week and not an adult ten years his senior with a wife.

"Okay, okay," Wars laughs. "I'll tell you a few stories."

He tells them of the first time Mask appeared on the field and the absolute mayhem it caused. A good portion of the soldiers had their attention split between halting the enemy Lieutenant and keeping the literal child safe. Not that Mask made it easier. He refused to be pulled off the field and even broke the hand of one of the soldiers trying to hold him back.

Wars tells them of the way his heart leapt into his throat when Mask rushed forward. A tiny child with a sword too big to properly carry rushing at a monster three times his size! Only for the little boy to swing the the massive claymore and slice the monster in two.

They still tried to bench Mask after that, of course. No one felt comfortable putting a child in the front lines despite his clear skill. That didn't matter to Mask, though.

It was a particularly hard battle and they were loosing. Impa was out for the count and Wars wasn't advancing fast enough. They would've lost—died—if Mask hadn't jumped in with all the unpredictability of a storm.

"You should have seen the way he yelled at us!" He wheezes. "I've never seen Impa or Artemis make faces like that before. He got his wish, though, and he was put in the main lines."

Malon giggles. "My, he seems like quite the spirited young man." Her eyes shine with mirth as Time's shoulders hike up in embarrassment.

"And very protective of the people around him," he nods. "For as much trouble as he caused, as much as he yelled and terrorized everyone, he loved the people around him."

Sky coos at the story. "He was probably so sweet in private."

Wars laughs. "Hardly! You just had to learn how he showed affection."

Hyrule winces. "Oh gosh, how bad?"

"So a lot of the soldiers didn't like we let a kid in the field right," he says, "so they started acting up. They'd question orders, disregard plans, speak I'll of her Majesty. Mask would absolutely terrorize the poor souls. I'd almost feel bad if they didn't deserve it."

"Wait, so how did Mask Duty start?" Wind asks.

"Mostly from that. Soldiers who questioned Artemis about Mask's presence ended up with the kid in their squads. That eventually evolved to a punishment for any serious offenses."

Wind cackles, surely remembering the fearful whispers of Mask Duty among the troops.

"Surely he wasn't a menace the whole time?" Sky winces.

"Well yeah, he was still a kid," Wars shrugs. "Show him something cool and he'll play with it for days. And he loved slight of hand tricks! He'd even pull on my scarf to get my attention. I'm not paying attention to him, he'll yank until I do. I'm spending too much time trying the perfect a strategy, and he'll yank on my scarf until I stop. I skip a meal, and he yanks until I get something to eat. He has a nightmare and instead of just waking me up, he drops all his weight on to my stomach."

He's completely lost in thought by this point. At the time, Mask had seemed to be constantly harassing him, but the years have given him perspective. Mask was just making sure they didn't crumble under the weight of responsibility.

"There was one particular battle that went horribly. Our forces were decimated. We barely escaped with our lives. Zelda completely closed herself off from everyone," he says quietly. "Not even Impa could get to her. Those were some dark days... But then one day laughter breaks through the silence. Mask had gotten Zelda to leave her tent. She was pale and her eyes red from crying, but she was playing in the mud with him."

He chuckles feeling the sudden tightness in his throat. "I think we'd all forgotten what joy was at that point. For as much trouble as he caused, Mask reminded us all there was still hope."

There's a tug on his scarf and Wars automatically looks down before remembering he has to look up now. Time's face is concerned as he looks him over. "You okay?"

Wars smiles. He pushes back the memories and ruffles Time's hair. "I'm fine, Sprite. Don't worry about it."

The table explodes into a mess of shouts and questions. Wars startles so bad he bangs his knee on the underside of the table.

"You bit me!" Wind accuses.

Time sputters, face pink with embarrassment. He looks to Wars for help.

Wars shrugs. "I told you you'd face the consequences of your actions one day." Time looks so panicked at the prospect that Wars caves immediately.

He helps Time field as many questions and accusations as he can. Eventually the others calm down. Though they spend the rest of the evening muttering amongst themselves and taking turns looking at Wind's bite mark.

Wars shakes his head as Twilight looks at the mark for the third time. "I can believe you bit him."

Time crosses his arms defensively. "He tried to take my Keaton mask."

"That's not an excuse to bite someone!"

Time looks away with a huff.

Wars laughs. He throws an arm around Time's neck and drags the man down at an uncomfortable angle. "Spirits, you've chilled out, but you're still the same little shit I knew," he says fondly. "I can't believe it took me so long to recognize you."

Time growls and yanks on his scarf in annoyance. Wars smirks at the feeling. It's the same way he used try to choke Wars when he was younger.

With practiced ease, and no longer having to hold back against a little kid, Wars wrestles Time to the floor. He grins triumphantly from where he sits on Time's back. "You're gonna have to try harder than that, Sprite," he teases. "Maybe I can give you some pointers."

Time deflates, seemingly accepting his fate.

"I can't believe he's a younger brother," Legend mutters with a frown.

Twilight stands next to him with a truly horrified expression.

Wind nods, seemingly unbothered by Twilight's unresponsiveness. "It almost makes too much sense."

"You're a terrible person," Time mutters.

Wars pats him on the head. "I know."

#linked universe #linked universe fanfic #linked universe fic #lu warriors #lu time #Again. Looking back at this there's a lot of details I would change #Not entirely happy w/ Mask's portrayal but it's not as egregious as it could've been lol #You can tell I wrote this before I unlocked Young Link in Hyrule Warriors. Kid is so damn happy and smiley in the game lolll

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ashchoo · 9 months

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Introducing,,,,Lilith!! Odalia’s younger sister :D

time for the info dump lmao :) tw for childhood neglect, abuse, eating disorders, mentions of cannibalism??

Lilith is the second born of the Mantis family—with Odalia being the oldest—and the quiet one out of the four. She owns a library and loves her job free of her mother’s influence. They have read every book in their library at least 12 times, and are always appreciative of donations. Lillemor uses her names interchangeably,,,also depending on the person (if she doesn’t know someone we’ll she uses Lilith but if she’s close with someone she uses Lillemor,,,don’t tell her mother about that >:3). And if a neighbor is having difficulty finding a book, just ask her! She’d be happy to help,,even if she is a bit shy As a child, her mother put her on a strict diet so someday she become a model—just like Odalia—and forced her to eat people like the rest of the Mantis family does,,,not only did it make Lillemor deathly thin from refusing to eat for extended periods of time, but she refuses to eat any meat at all.

Now for some random details lol,,,,wondering why she has two names? Well it’s because her parents couldn’t decide what to call her. Her mother Morana wanted to name her “Lilith”,,meaning “belonging to the night” (cuz Morana is edgy and evil and shit),,,,but her father Devland wanted to name her “Lillemor” meaning “little mother”(idk Devland actually cares about his daughters). She gets little meals from her friend Monty H Buzby (Monty by @g4l4ctical) cuz it’s cute and they’re besties :D. They can also play the harp! Her favorite book genres are horror fiction and mythology. She also loves the ocean and beach towns (since she’s based off of a conehead mantis, which are found mainly in Mediterranean coastal areas)

anyways thanks for listening to my Ted talk :) also here’s her voice claim

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willowsz-plants · 27 days

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got this idea from my mutual, @kittiwittebane !!

my little mutual list 😽

@rfswitchart oh my golly gee. i don’t remember how i started talking to RF but they are literally my BIGGEST inspo for writing and other things. they are SO awesome and my beta reader!! i remember being SO scared to write and publish, and even ask them to be my beta reader! they rlly got me out of my comfort zone 😭 now remembering our first chat, it was them apologizing for doing something on my page that i asked not to in my intro and it was SO sweet. love you RF (/p) and please don’t stop being my mutual 😭😭

@unniebeans beanie is so cool! i remember we started talking through reblogs and had a whole little conversation, it was genuinely awesome. then, i found out that they wrote! i was like: :O and then i started to read their stuff! they are genuinely such a good writer that it amazes me i have such great mutuals 😭😭

@karinkamcstinka lmao this is my girlfriend i love her sm i know her from school and she has been nothing but sweet to me. she is SO awesome and understanding and forgiving it drives me crazy and i love her sosososososososo much! (even if she’s smelly /lh)

@daydreams-and-honeybees i don’t rlly remember HOW we met or how we started talking, and even if we don’t talk much, i rlly appreciate them as a mutual, they are SO cool and their writings are too!!

@childlikegoblinqueen i remember when they followed me back i was like 😨 because in my mind they were genuinely popular and they are!! they’re so cool and idk why they talk to me because i’m a mess 😞

@alithetiredartist ALI! HI! i LOVE ali, they say so many nice things and have rlly good art, go check them out, they are awesome! they are genuinely the kind of person who will make you giggle of joy bcs of what they said. they did that to ME one time when they commented abt my fanfiction and i was like: 😁 love ali!!

@kittiwittebane i don’t talk to them much, but they’ve been here a while. i talk to them every now and then and they are rlly nice and just a VIBE when i talk to them.

anyways that’s enough of my blabbering i love my mutuals and specifically these guys <3 go check them out!

#katta rambles #i love my mutuals #damn i wrote a LOT abt rf #oh well #they deserve it

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yuffi369 · 8 months

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Co-DM

P03 x GN!Reader

In which P03 realizes that, for as much crap as he's talked about for you not appreciating his game design, you may actually know what you're talking about, sometimes.

Since you'd managed to keep a back-up of Inscryption's files after... everything, P03 had managed to worm his way onto your computer system's drive. At first, he acted a lot more maliciously; accessing permissions to just about everything, your webcam, your microphone, any files... he looked through just about everything, and began to make moves to even take over your computer entirely.

You were smart, though. You'd managed to get to where the backup copy of Inscryption and all of its files were, and upon threat of deletion, he cooperated. He agreed to only hang around your computer and not tamper with any of your files, or compromise your computer's integrity, but he still wanted to hang around. You didn't mind this for two reasons; one, it did seem rather cruel to keep him locked up in the files with nothing to do, and two, you didn't mind the company anyhow, seeing as most of your friends were over long distance.

One evening, you'd decided to get some work done on a campaign you were running for your friends. The game was in two weeks, so you had plenty of prep time, but there were some maps you had to make, encounters to plan, and you had to figure out some plot ahead of where they were going. The next session would be taken up in the first half by traveling, so it was mostly technical things like potential encounters, which was probably your least favorite part of game writing. You didn't hate any part, necessarily, but your strong suit lied in the story parts.

You were so lost in your struggling thoughts, staring at the VTT interface with a stumped expression, you almost forgot P03 was there. "Hey, idiot, you going to move the mouse, or are you going to let the computer screen fall asleep?"

You blinked rapidly, sitting up straight. "Huh?" You looked down at the tiny P03, who was staring at you as he stood on top of your task bar. "No, I was just thinking."

"What're you even doing, anyway?" he asked, looking at the grid on the screen.

"Writing encounters for my next game session," you replied, scrolling through another webpage you had open where you had access to stat blocks available to you.

"You write games?" he said, incredulously.

"Oh, right, I haven't had a session since you've come around and started living rent-free on my desktop."

"What do you want me to do for money, use your graphics card for crypto mining?"

"No," you replied, curtly.

"Anyway, given your criticisms about my game design, I didn't think you knew a thing about game design." He crossed his arm over his body, rolling his eyes.

"This isn't exactly a card game," you replied. "It's a tabletop roleplaying game. It's based on war gaming, with roleplaying added in. So it's a mixture of tactical gaming and story-based gaming. Not quite a card game like Inscryption."

"Interesting," he replied.

He continued to watch you work- or, well, the more accurate words would be struggle to work. You tried, several times, to put down tokens on the map, only to take them back off after a few minutes of deliberation. Sick of watching you struggle, P03 hovered up to your cursor, dragging it around to get your attention. "Hurry up. I'm sick of the ambient work music you've had in the background for the last hour."

"Sorry, P," you sighed, genuinely feeling a bit bad that he'd watched you do basically nothing this entire time. "I'm not exactly the best at planning encounters..."

"Lemme help, then. Pull up the webpage with the stat blocks."

"Fine. But aren't you programmed to write for Inscryption, not this?"

"I'm a fast learner." He scrolled through the webpage, looking through the stat blocks. After looking over a few stat blocks, he pulled up a stat block for an undead creature, that had an interesting mechanic. "Here. This should keep your players from falling asleep."

You took one look at the stat block and shook your head. "No. I can't use that."

He looked at you with exasperation. "Well why the f#%& not?" he said, the little beep censoring his cursing through the speakers.

"Those are undead creatures," you explained, using your cursor to point at the stat block's creature type. "They're just traveling through grasslands. I can't justify a random group of these just showing up out of the blue."

"I dunno what to tell you. This stat block's probably your best bet for an interesting mechanic that's low-level enough to not kill your players. Maybe have them, I dunno, take a shortcut through a graveyard, or whatever."

"Shortcut through a graveyard..." you repeated, under your breath. After a brief moment, you bolted upright in your seat, pulling up your document and beginning to write at an accelerated pace. P03 probably clocked you at about 90 WPM at your fastest. Once you were satisfied with the narrative text you'd written out for yourself to read upon arrival to the location, you pulled up the VTT and began placing things all around the map, taking your time to make sure things were placed in logical, good-looking locations, making sure to add terrain in places for your rogue to hide behind and take advantage of. Finally, you put the group of undead creatures on the hidden layer to pull up later, and then typed out what loot was to be found in the graveyard as well as on the bodies of the creatures.

Once you were satisfied with your work, you leaned back in your chair, gazing upon the zoomed-out map with pride. "Wow," P03 let out a whistle-like beep, looking at the map with you. "Once you got started, that only took, what? An hour? I would've been able to make the fight really easy, but all that other stuff probably would've taken me the better part of an afternoon."

"Well, I mean, it does take me a while to write something good. But when inspiration hits, I sort of just... go, and don't stop. But I don't have those moments often, or at least not enough for my liking."

P03 turned and glared at you. "Take the damn compliment."

You laughed. "Alright, alright, geez. Thank you."

"Now, let's celebrate with a movie." He pulled up a window with a video player, ready to play the file.

You raised an eyebrow. "Where did you get that?"

"Downloaded it off yarhar.net while you were writing."

"P!"

"What? I scanned it for viruses, it's clean. What do you want me to do, pay for Netflix? With what money?"

You just laughed, shaking your head. "Let me go make some popcorn."

"And I'll... pull up a jpeg of popcorn, I guess."

#p03 #p03 x reader #inscryption #inscryption p03 #you guys liked the last one a lot so have another!! this time more modern/realism #this can be read as either platonic or romantic tbh but i'd like to think of it as 'roommates to lovers'-esque #inspired by the fact that i could feel p03 shimeji judging me as i wrote for my d&d game today lololol #also tried my best to keep the ttrpg unnamed so that it could be system agnostic #petition for p03 to Get a Damn Job

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graylinesspam · 4 months

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Weapon trading ceremony

Din Djarin x ex jedi reader/oc

The Mandalorians were not short on ceremony. Even Din's faction whose traditions could be described as a lot more bare-bones had ceremony. Granted they were a lot more private, which suited your love just fine. He was a very private person after all.

But he was also a rule follower and even his interpretation of the code had rules about courting. You both had blown past a few of those steps in the time that he'd been considered dar'manda, like learning his name outside of the private name trading. But since he'd been redeemed Din has become determined to do things the right way this time.

So even though you've both decided it would be best for you to become a more official member of his clan that, whatever government the Mandalorians try to cobble together, will recognize. And even though you're wedding will consist of vows shared quietly between the two of you in the privacy of his ship, Still Din insists on completing the courting rituals in order.

Which brings you to the weapons trading ceremony. You'd sort of gathered that this was a step in the courting process that had been created to fill space in the time that it would take an armorer to craft or to reforge pieces of armor bearing new clan symbols. This was the last step before trading Beskar. Mandalorians had no gender roles but they did have strong clan loyalty, so whoever had agreed to join the clan of the other would give their partner the piece of armor (usually a pauldron) bearing their former clan symbol and in exchange, they'd replace it with a piece of their own armor bearing the correct clan symbol until the pauldron could be reforged. And after the pauldron was reforged the pieces would be exchanged during the vows ceremony cementing them as a married couple.

The weapons ceremony was essentially the official proposal step in the ceremony. All previous gifts and gestures aside, the gift of a weapon from a suitor was when you needed to decide whether or not you wanted to commit to them. At least that's how Bo had explained it to you. She seemed a little iffy on some of the finer details but Bo had been learning all she could about the more private sect of Mandalorians since she'd taken leadership of them with the endorsement of the Armorer.

You were nervous about what weapon you could possible trade him, you owned so few in comparrison to a mandalorian. Actually all the weapons you owned could probably fit in a shoebox. Meanwhile Din had a whole rack bursting with weaponry. And every weapon you owned you were somewhat reliant on. After a lifetime of an unstable life you learned not to own anything you didn't need to carry on you, and all of those weapons had become a needed item. Besides they were too small to be as useful to Din. Bo said you could purchase something for him, the symbolism was more important than the weapon it's self. But knowing how meticulously picky he was about every aspect of every weapon that felt like a daunting task as well. And you knew by the way he was taking this whole courting process so seriously that he definitely had something specific in mind for you.

You could give him your first knife. But it had been a gift from your brothers during the clone wars and you didn't want to give up that piece of them.

You only really had one other idea, and it definitely seemed out of the box. With the pressure mounting you were deffinitly grateful that these ceremonies were private for his faction and not the clan-wide public displays of the old clans like clan Kryze.

You'd agreed on a rough time for the ceremony, After you were in hyperspace on the way back to Navarro. With the kid tucked into his little hammock and the ship's controls on autopilot Din swiveled his chair in your direction. He was a bit more rigid than normal, neither leaning back or forward he was almost sitting rigidly upright except for his downturned shoulders. His hands were clasped awkwardly in front of him. You half expected to hear him clear his throat the the static of the modulator before he spoke. But he was direct as always.

"Are you ready to do this?"

You nodded your head fidgeting in your seat as he reached one hand into the satchel he'd slung over the neck of the headrest on his chair. A cloth-wrapped lump was obscured in his large hands. He carefully unwrapped the bundle laying the corners of the cloth out until a plain silver vambrance was left cradled in his palm.

"Din." you start but emotion chokes you up, "You aren't supposed to give me armor unless we're married," You joke to recover.

"It rides the line between armor and a weapon. It doesn't break any rules." He argues. "It's bare now, just a commlink and a shield. You'll have to train if you want to add anything else to it. But a shield will be plenty. you rely too heavily on evasion in conflict to keep from getting hit. you need to learn how to guard."

It should be irritating the way he picks apart you're technique and critiques you, as if you haven't been fighting in wars since before he took his oath. But his concern is, in this case, endearing. Especially since he's offering you an actual solution and not just telling you to do better.

He holds the vambrace out and you give him your wrist letting him open the metal up and clamp it around your arm. He opens and closes the metal a few times slowly, letting his fingers slide with meaning over the joints and catches to show you how to do it yourself. When he releases your arm you test the weight of it, knowing it will take time to get used to. You haven't worn a vambrace since the war.

Instead of leaning back, Din has taken to looming before you with his elbows on his knees and his shoulders hunched low. You think he may actually be attempting to look smaller and less demanding. He does a poor job of it.

Hesitantly you tug the chain around your neck pulling the well worn necklace out from under your shirt. It's clunky and sort of industrial looking. A sturdy metal ring just smaller than your palm, beveled around the edge and marked with scratches from continuous wear, was poorly corded through with a thick sturdy woven chain.

You'd worn it every day since the Empire rose to power, but now you unscrewed the sturdy clasp and let it fall into your palm. "Let me explain." You rushed out with a shakey breath.

"The Jedi taught us that our lightsabers were our lives. Most of that was to keep up from letting anyone else get ahold of it. An untrained idiot wielding a saber is...well y'know. But there was more to it than that. It was our weapon of last resort. Our identification. And it served as a conduit with the force. When the jedi fell and the last of us had to disappear, we had to lose our lightsabers. We couldn't risk being found with one. And we couldn't risk them falling into the wrong hands either, So we destroyed them. Hid away the kyber crystals and destroyed the hilts. But it's hard to let go of your life, even when most of it has already been destroyed." You plucked the ring up with two fingers and held it up so that Din could see it better.

"This used to be the outer ring of the emitter on my lightsaber. I remember picking it out to match my master. It's the only thing I have left of that part of my life. I know as Riduur we're supposed to be one, to live one life together. Well, this is the oldest piece of my life if I give this to you, then you have all of me. I know it's not a functional weapon, but it's the only thing I own that means the same thing to me that your weapons mean to you spiritually. It's like, part of my soul."

You glance up from under your lashes as his shoulders seize with a halted breath. He straightens in his seat and holds out an open hand. Hesitantly you place the ring down into his much larger palm. He turns the ring examining it with curiosity despite the fact that he must have seen it many times around your neck.

"Is that ok?" you ask hesitantly.

"Yes." he replies hurriedly. "If you're sure you're willing to part with it."

"Yes, I want you to wear it. I-.." You flounder for words. "I want this part, the engagement to feel like it supposed to. I mean-" You huff in frustration. "I want you to know, even though we have some religious differences, that I'm not just going along with your courting process to appease you. I care about what all this is supposed to mean. And I'm trying to find the places where we're similar."

Well that wasn't entirely what you meant to say but you hoped he could understand what you were trying to say, that you didn't just love and respect him, but also the life he wanted to build with you and the moral code that was the foundation of that life.

"Thank you." you weren't sure but he might've sounded choked up through the modulator. He stood before you could pry into it though and used his fist with the ring clenched in it to tilt your chin up so he could press his helmet gently against your forehead.

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daz4i · 10 months

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me continuing my bpd dazai analysis trying to phrase anything that isn't "dazai has bpd bc i said so" when my brain is as tired and messy as it is right now

i don't have a reaction pic here. imagine me looking frustrated and tired on my computer

#anyway. dazai has bpd bc i said so #i actually wrote nearly a whole page but i think i repeat myself a lot and it's not very coherent or organized so i crossed it out #(not deleted yet tho. maybe if i ever have a clearer head i'll try to salvage this or use it as reference)#i got deep into comparisons to yozo too damn 😔

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tinyvoicejill · 10 months

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For the prompt thing I don’t think this is very vague but superpowers? (I’m back in a supercorp era I fear)

(I am too babe there’s no shame… unfortunately this is not like Supercorp at all lmao. Also some content warnings on this one for descriptions of drowning/death experiences and some general body unpleasantness?)

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Talk of the people with gifts resembles that of boogeymen or ghosts. They’re not real things, just threats you tell your children to keep them in bed.

“Stay asleep,” they warn with a jovial tone too light for terrified children to identify. “Lest the monsters get you.”

Children grow up and stop believing in the monsters, at least in their minds. But their hearts and bodies never forget, not fully, and so when they do in fact encounter something - someone - who their minds know should not exist, they’re left with a confusing, skin crawling sensation they can never quite explain. They hate and they fear, but they don’t know why.

That’s how it’s always felt to Carson, at least.

Like they didn’t really understand where their intense dislike for her came from, just that they all feel it. It’d been like that with her mother too, growing up. People feared her, and they feared Carson along with her. Her dad had helped temper the hatred some - the gifted are always easier to tolerate around others. Like a lion in a zoo - you can sense the power they hold, but you feel protected from them. It’s when you’re caught alone with one that the primordial parts of your brain really sense the danger.

Nothing is scarier than being alone with another person: for them first, and then for Carson as a result. The safest she can be is invisible. Carson tries to stay lost in crowds or completely alone whenever possible, though crowds bring their own dangers as well. After all, the more people there are the greater the chances some future atrocity is lurking ahead for one of them. And whatever horrors lay ahead for these strangers Carson will know. Will feel.

That is her gift and curse: foresight. She feels it beneath her skin like a slithering vine whenever she’s near one of them. It whispers warnings in her bones, and its whispers grow louder the nearer they are to her or to their fate. For as long as she’s been able to tell, Carson has always known when bad things were about to happen to others. Their future anger, their terror, their demises - all of it calls out to her before they’re realized. Sometimes days ahead, sometimes hours. Sometimes seconds. She’d cry into the night as a child, pillow wrapped tight around her head, and beg her mother to make it stop. Beg her to take away the gift.

“The gift is not a part of you, my love. It is you. You can’t stop it. I’m so sorry.”

Her mother carried so much guilt for her gift, for creating her at all. Carson always figured that’s why she left them. The guilt was too much. Carson was too much. Something her mother never told her, perhaps never even realized, was that there was something Carson could do to end the devastating grief of the gift.

She could stop the bad thing from happening.

She realized as a teenager when she felt the impending assault of a classmate. When the pain felt too large to ignore and she followed its guiding pull behind the school moments before the attack. When she was able to hit the man before he could harm. Her classmate had hugged her, thanked her, and all the pain she’d felt for hours vanished. That’s when she knew the gift wasn’t a punishment. It’s a responsibility.

She’d become a small-time hero of sorts, though few knew to what degree. People in town seem to loathe her less, even if they still fear her. Their hatred is mediated by her helpfulness. Preventing horrors before they can occur does not gain the same attention as intervening during a crime can. Most of the work she does to protect people prevents them from ever even knowing they were in danger at all. It makes the pain lessen inside of her, though, and that’s enough.

Her life is small but manageable, and her heroic interventions dull the ache to a background buzz. Living in a small town keeps things easier, too: the one time she’s visited a big city she nearly fainted in the streets under the pressing pain of the thousands of lives around her just waiting to suffer or end. Lake Valley is easier, the suffering fewer and farther between. Life is tolerable. Sometimes even pleasant, if she’s lucky. She can handle it.

Then one day she wakes in the middle of the night and it’s like her soul is ripping from her body, gripping hard at her bones in its effort to stay. Her body breaks out into hives, she finds herself retching fruitlessly into the toilet. Every breath she takes feels damp, her lungs sloshing and stuttering around water that isn’t there. She’s drowning. The terror of it nearly consumes her - her fingertips feel raw like she’s been clawing at the walls to escape, her head aches like she’s bashed it against something hard. She’s felt people die before, hundreds of times, but she’s never felt it like this. Her gift screams within her body so loudly her jaw aches: Run. Go now. Find her. Save her.

Her feet are moving before her brain even tells them to do so, taking her into the kitchen until she has a knife in her hand. She didn’t mean to grab it, yet she knows she needs it. Out of her house she runs, racing down the country dirt road that takes her from her isolated cottage to the rest of town. The gift guides her till she’s on the paved road and racing across it, down the grassy hill until she sees it, there, sticking out of the water: the tail end of a compact car, its headlights shining up as it sinks.

Hurry. Save her now.

Carson splashes into the water, passively aware of the jagged rocks tearing at her skin - she hadn’t put shoes on, hadn’t had time - but all she can focus on is her grip on the door handle of the front seat. She tugs and it opens easily. The unconscious woman’s hand is still tangled around the handle on her side. She’d tried to open it, it seems, but couldn’t against the water’s pressure. The car is filled with water now, though, and the pressure is gone. If it were not for the pulsating panic exploding through Carson at the sight of her, she’d think the woman was already dead. Carson reaches around her and tugs at the seatbelt only to find it unyielding. Knife knife knife, the gift chants, and she slashes at the belt with frantic jagged swipes. Carson cuts the woman free and lets the knife fall with the sinking car. She focuses her hands on pulling her body out and away. Nausea roils in her as she drags her to shore, wave after wave of flickering pain as the woman gradually dies in her arms. Another car has pulled up she can see on the road. The taillights sinking deeper into the lake must have caught their eye, and Carson prays they are calling an ambulance now but she can’t stop to ask, not while she feels the woman die, and so instead she lays her on the grass and she presses on her chest and she breathes into her mouth and she feels a deep gnawing emptiness settling into her bones as the woman fades, and a death has never felt like this before. She’s never felt this emptiness before. And then the woman gasps out a mouthful of water and a euphoria Carson has never known floods her body. She rolls the woman onto her side as she throws up water and nearly collapses under the feel of it. Carson presses her head to the woman’s shoulder and cries. What devastation she’d felt this whole time has been flipped on its head with a rush of endorphins so powerful she trembles. Carson’s never felt joy before, not like this, not with someone else. The ambulance arrives soon after that. EMTs come to load the woman onto a stretcher and Carson stiltedly tells them what she knows. They’re not surprised to see her. Carson is often there at scenes like this, pulling people from the brink of death. They look at her like she’s something to be feared, to be respected, and all Carson can see is the woman she’s saved. She’s beautiful, Carson realizes, especially now that color is returning to her skin. Her red hair lays tangled and plastered against her face and around her oxygen mask, and all Carson wants is to brush it aside.

“We’ll take it from here, Miss Shaw,” the EMT says nervously as they begin to wheel her away, and every step they take from her pulls the ache back into her. It’s only when they’ve gotten a ways away that Carson realizes how the last few minutes of contact have felt for her. How the moment the woman came back to life, the pain of her gift went away. That’s never happened before. And now she feels that distance like a wound, and the panic sets in with it. “Wait!” she calls out as they load her onto the ambulance. “I’m coming with you.” They seem hesitant to let her but she doesn’t give them a chance, instead climbing aboard like she belongs there. Like she belongs with the woman. On instinct, she grabs the woman’s hand. Instantly the panic lessens, the pain. The world fades into just this moment, just the soft beat of a heart that had moments before been still.

“Do you know this woman?” they ask as they wrap her in a shock blanket. She’s soaked and shivering, though she hardly feels it. Yes, the gift aches within her. Yes yes yes.

“Not yet,” she says. “But I will.”

#I lost control of myself and wrote a lot lmao #I deleted my post being like 'send me prompts' because it had no notes and I was like oh damn what a flop #only to then check my inbox and see three prompts sitting there alndfoaiwefnkalef #so I may remake it but basically if you wanna send me vague non directive prompts I might write little things based on it #gretson #aloto fic #mine #my writing

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meownotgood · 4 months

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under the influence is 80k words in total today...

#that's 46k for chapter two so far and 34k for chapter one #and I just finished the first seggs scene... moving on to the second one now...#100k soon???#oh god no #I don't know if I have 20k words of aki sex left in me LOL #100k is probably a little tooooooo long #it's long enough as is #truthfully... I'm putting in a lot of effort...#but I worry maybe it's just too long or will be boring...#I worried about that a lot with the first chapter but I was pleased to see people enjoyed it #I guess it's definitely not for everyone though...#every time I read through what I wrote I'm like #damn you'd have to be a whole new level of insane for aki to read this many words of you getting it on with him #and then I remember I wrote the fuckin thing #and then I remember I am in fact that insane

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regretfulmoth · 7 months

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Old art of Kristin from my old magical girl au from last may/june (lore under the cut)

In the au she's a vigilante with Phil who is against Schlatt turning the artform of being a magical girl into a glorified, government funded dog fights/beauty pageants. Kristin was once actually apart of the MGA (Magical Girl Association/Arena) back when it was just a program that paid magical girls for the work they do for the city. But once Schlatt retired being a MG and started running the MGA more as a business, Kristin was kicked from the program for her powers being seen as "too gruesome and unprofitable".

The MGA makes its profits in two ways: Selling licensed merchandise of its MG's and letting outsiders watch/make wagers on the MGs fighting each other as training. Kirstin, also known as "Lady Death" when she's in MG form, has the ability of speeding up one's lifecycle by touching them. (think of the Forest Spirit from Princess Monokoke) The speed of this rapid aging does somewhat depend on her emotions and her relationship with whatever living thing she touches (Example: if she touches Phil while calm for 30 seconds, he'll age 4-5 years. But if she touches Schlatt for the same amount of time while emotions are high, he would be a pile of bones.) Her power is known as "Life Acceleration" and is theorized to contribute to her slower aging. This power cannot be turned off and she wears gloves 24/7 to prevent any accidental aging. Its also been theorized that once/if she dies, then her life acceleration will plague the world and cause the extinction of life on earth, but those are just silly fan theories and head canons :).

Well with this darker reputation in mind, Lady Death had a fairly small fanbase and an even smaller demand for merchandise. Lump in with the fact she can't train like the other MGs because of the risk of killing her fellow MGs. At first Kristin was pissed but rather understanding as of why she couldn't be a part of the MGA to an extent but as the policies became more restrictive and bias towards more "profitable magical girls", her patience with the program grew thin.

Her final straw was the day the MGA change their payment policies to the point where only the most popular and "brand safe" MGs could ever make a living under the MGA. A program where its whole point was to give the dozens of people brave enough to defend civilians from danger the resources and pay they need to continue their work is now throwing money to whoever throws more back. These new policies essentially forced Phil into finding a new job because what once could comfortably cover his life with Kristin and a small family down the line is now barely anything.

So, during the day Phil and Kristin work their full time jobs and at night they each do commission work as Magical Girls as a side hustle. Since the new policies there has been a shortage of MGs who can/are willing to deal with threats that are causing a muck. This has led to people personally commissioning Unofficial Magical Girls to do smaller jobs like patrolling on a smaller scale to prevent any situations from happening. Doing commission work is rather risky because its illegal to be a MG without a proper license and the only way to get one is if you're part of the MGA and you work under the programs regulations.

The couple, especially Kristin is very against the MGA and what has become of it. There was a brief moment in time where the two were very vocal of these changes in policies but the movement was not successful. Kristin to this day is a unofficial magical girl and her persona as Lady Death is still openly against the MGA. Meanwhile Phil has retired from the magical girl scene and is now focused on being a stay-at-home father.

#magical girl au #minecraft magical girls #kristin minecraft #mumza my beloved #trixtin #misstrixtin #mumza and dadza #philza #dadza #jschlatt #<-he's mentioned like twice #but damn they got beef #I wrote a lot more than I expected #mcyt #Idk how gender works in this #I guess everyone is like fem presenting but they keep all keep their preferred gender identity #I know it just looks like Kristin but the magical girl stuff is in the lore #I can't believe I still remember all this #There SO much more I can go on about and I probably will when I find the motivation to type it down

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warriorsatthedisco · 8 months

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Man lately it’s been like, do a task and then rest. Oh so tired. Hurggghggghg ok do necessary task. So tired. Go to bed an hour early. Not hungry. My tummy feels weird. Wake up, do task, be tired and bored. Rest. So tired. Eat but it’s just meh. Tired. Go to bed early.

#ok this sounds like depression now that I wrote it out but I swear it doesn’t feel like depression #and also I have no reason to be depressed and also when I actually am depressed it usually presents as not sleeping at all and eating a lot #idk what’s wrong with me it’s been like this for like over a week #so damn tired #work was incredibly easy today and yet all I managed to do after work was sit in bed and draw #I tried to pick some stuff up and kinda failed at that #I’m gonna go to jiu jitsu in 30 mins but like shit boy I’m gonna be yawning and also my tummy feels weird #also I’ve lost 3-4 pounds in as many days. sooo uh idk what that’s about #personal

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neondiamond · 1 year

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As the year is coming to an end very soon, I thought I’d put together a little masterpost of all of the fics and drabbles I posted over the past year. The total comes down to 26 fics, which I will say even I am impressed by! This list is in order from most to least recent and will be under the cut because otherwise this post would get really long! ✨

📚 One for the Books (25k, M, Christmas, bookshop AU, OT5 friendship) fic post

When Harry decides to move to London a few weeks before Christmas to pursue his dream and become the new owner of a bookshop after seeing an ad online, everyone he knows tells him he must be out of his mind. As he gets acquainted with his new life and meets a handful of incredible individuals—one of which he happens to grow particularly fond of—he slowly comes to the realisation that it may just be the best decision he's ever made.

Or the one where there’s a bookshop, a cat, OT5 friendship, a budding romance, and all the festive vibes.

🏠 Two Days and I’ll Be Home (781, G, canon compliant, fluff) fic post

Harry comes home to Louis for the holidays.

🎄 Worries, Kisses and Surprises (3k, G, Christmas, established relationship, mpreg) fic post

Harry and Louis are hosting Christmas dinner with both of their families for the very first time. Harry is a little stressed out about it, but for a good reason.

🦷 So Wise (1k, G, pure fluff) fic post

Harry’s a little out of it after having his wisdom teeth removed. Louis is there to take care of him.

📖 Foreshadowing (666, NR, spooky drabble) fic post

Alone at home on a rainy Friday night, Harry reads a story that resembles his own life a bit too closely…

❣️ How Long Will I Love You (4.5k, T, 5 times fic, canon compliant) fic post

Five times Louis thinks Harry is the love of his life, and the one time he says it out loud.

💗 Rain Check? (2.6k, G, dating) fic post

After a great first date with Louis, Harry is really looking forward to going on a second date. Things go wrong a few times before they go right.

🏒 On Thin Ice (16k, E, hockey AU, hidden relationship) fic post

As the goaltender for one of the best hockey teams in the world, Harry never expected participating in his second winter Olympics would be so eventful. His hidden long-term relationship with the captain of their biggest rival team may have something to do with it.

☁️ Head in the Clouds (1k, G, pure fluff, canon compliant) fic post

Harry needs a distraction, and Louis is always a big softie for his baby.

🛞 Waiting by the Tire Swing (1.1k, G, established relationship, bittersweet) fic post

For as long as Louis can remember, there has always been a tire swing hung up in the backyard.

🐕 Puppy Love (5.1k, G, lilo, flirting) fic post

Louis is a dog trainer and Liam just got a puppy for the first time. Dogs are sometimes smarter than one might think.

👨‍❤️‍👨 Just Enough (721, G, canon compliant, fluff) fic post

Harry and Louis meet up in Venice.

🥣 With A Little Help (3.4k, G, kid fic, established relationship) fic post

With his husband Harry away for work for the week, Louis finds himself going a little bit crazy over their five year old son’s numerous, very particular quirks.

📦 Sidetracked (2.3k, G, OT5 friendship) fic post

While scrambling to get his whole life packed up the night before moving in with Harry, Louis and the boys get distracted and take a trip down memory lane.

🧁 Sugary Sweet (1.2k, G, mpreg Harry, kid fic) fic post

Sometimes, all you need is a little sugar to get the day started.

Or Harry and Louis’ daughter knows exactly how to get what she wants, Harry is pregnant, and Louis is the best husband ever.

🍑 Here You Come Again (22k, E, farm AU, exes to lovers, fluff & angst) fic post

A year after taking over his family’s peach orchard, Louis thinks he has it all figured out. His routine on the farm is mundane, yet familiar, and his dog Clifford is more than enough to keep him company. It isn’t until Harry, his ex-boyfriend who broke his heart and left their small town a decade ago to pursue a bigger, brighter future in the city, comes to stay on the farm that he realises just how badly he was lying to himself.

🌙 Good Night (1.3k, M, kid fic) fic post

Harry and Louis’ three year old daughter is afraid of the monster she claims lives under her bed. When she comes into their bedroom and interrupts their alone time for what feels like the hundredth time, Louis finally takes matters into his own hands.

👨‍🍳 Find Me in the Kitchen (9.2k, E, cooking, A/B/O, flirting) fic post

When Harry sees Louis step in his beginners cooking class for the first time, he’s surprised to say the least. Not only is Louis an Alpha, he’s probably the most attractive Alpha Harry has ever come across. The next five weeks are sure to be interesting.

🚒 I’d Walk Through Fire For You (Just Let Me Adore You) (8.3k, E, A/B/O, hurt/comfort) fic post

Firefighter Louis is having an uneventful shift at the station when a call comes in about a devastating fire in a nearby apartment complex. All of his worst nightmares become reality when he realises it’s where Harry, his best friend who he’s had a relentless crush on for years, lives, and that said best friend is stuck inside among the flames.

🍲 Better With You (922, G, sick fic, fluff) fic post

Louis is sick. Harry knows exactly what to do to make him feel better.

💜 Baby, Don’t Apologize (1.8k, T, asexual Harry, A/B/O, established relationship) fic post

Harry being an asexual Omega means his Alpha Louis has had to spend his ruts alone for the past decade despite being mated. He’s not sure who feels most hurt by it.

🕯 Cherished (1k, G, mpreg Harry, pure fluff) fic post

When Harry’s very pregnant and uncomfortable, Louis finds a way to make him feel loved and cherished.

🏕 Naturally (5.6k, E, teachers AU, camping, bed sharing) fic post

When PE teacher Louis first gets assigned to be a chaperone on a weekend long camping trip with a bunch of high school seniors, he’s not too excited about it. That changes when he finds out his fellow Music teacher Harry, who Louis happens to have a massive crush on, is also coming.

❤️ Where Love Grows (6.5k, T, single parents, kid fic, momrry) fic post

When his husband leaves without warning only weeks after the birth of their first child, a struggling Harry is forced to move in with a work colleague and raise his newborn in the desolate, dreary outskirts of London. There, within the walls of a shitty apartment complex, he meets Louis Tomlinson, fellow struggling parent and hopeless romantic.

⚡️ Thunder and Rain (628, G, A/B/O, kid fic) fic post

There’s a storm outside and Louis can’t find the puppies. Luckily, Harry’s there.

💌 Love Mail (5k, G, neighbours AU) fic post

A week after moving into a new apartment complex, Harry discovers the mailman doesn’t seem to know the difference between numbers 23 and 28. He’s not too mad about it when he finds out just how handsome his neighbour from apartment 28 really is.

Or the one where Harry and Louis keep mistakingly receiving each other’s mail (and also fall in love).

#masterpost #my fics #trackinghome #hlcreators #can you believe i wrote 26 fics this year?!!!!!!!#me and my damn tendency to write lots of shorter fics instead of a few longer ones #this took forever to put together lol

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pillowenvelopchair · 6 months

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Hey guys!! this is just my insane ramble on Still Waters Run Deep that's made by the lovely @un-local. I've had so so sooooo many thoughts about this fic and I decided to try and put it all coherently in a post :)

Probably not a lot of new insights, just many, many rambles

Magdalene analysis and her view on Rogier + some other stuff

Magdalene, at the start of the story, is aimless and refuses to follow any line of Grace, putting off whatever it leads to and going in the opposite direction. Yet Grace is fickle, and it all eventually converges, so she gives in. (aaaand a life-changing partnership ensues)

She wants out of the competition of becoming Elden Lord, and she wants nothing to do with it. Someone else to take lordship is what she wants. Magdalene, in her eyes, is not worthy to take the throne. But Rogier on the other hand…

Rogier is, quite literally, built different. He thinks differently compared to Magdalene (a STR vs INT user difference lol). He’s able to pick out all the details that she would miss. Be able to extrapolate and examine it all and be able to learn from it. Magdalene can't do that.

It's basically:

Rogier: says some fun facts about the most random thing in the room, saying all the history behind it, and what the tiny details could mean Magdalene: yeah, that's a rock.

So instead, she becomes a tool for Rogier to be able to use, because that's the least she can do for him.

“She can already feel the faint grin forming on her lips at the thought. She never wanted to be Elden Lord. She’d finally picked up and followed grace to... to get away, with no idea what it called her to do. When Melina told her where it led her, she felt only dread. But Rogier... To save Those Who Live in Death... Two birds, one stone. She meets his eyes, and doesn’t look away. In them, she doesn’t see pride, or avarice. She doesn't see a man who wants to rule the world. Not at all. The path forward is clear now.” -Chapter 22

For once, she really sees a light from the dark future she sees. She's hopeful that she won't have to take the throne, that Rogier can burden it instead of her. He's worthy in her eyes and because of that, she devotes herself to him with all she can do. (Ah but… I believe Rogier wants her to be Elden Lord? Not sure but her not wanting to be Elden Lord doesn’t quite fit with what he has planned)

Magdalene really holds onto Rogier, and his guidance (a comfort wizard, if you will). And so the idea that he won’t make it… that she’ll be left alone with Grace again, forced to join back into the competition for lordship... It's sickening to her. So she really clings to him, desperate to not be left alone with a destiny that she despises.

Magdalene is always pulled into different directions. Grace pulls her to one but she pulls herself to the opposite one. Fia and D are both on extreme sides of the spectrum on Rogier's survival, and Magdalene is caught right in the middle of it.

But for her, Rogier will survive, he has to survive otherwise... that light, that small hope she has will all fade into obscurity.

Ghosts from the past (Lorens and Ida)

I absolutely love how something, or rather, someone haunts both of them.

Lorens had been the catalyst of all of what Rogier does now. Why he’s so desperate to save those who live in death. He's literally devoted his body and mind to Lorens just to see him alive (maybe Rogier's devoting all of himself to finding a solution to death because he wants it to come back to the old times when it was just him and Lorens in the Rise, or maybe not!! I'm just rambling lol).

Every thought of Lorens is painted with a sort of bittersweetness to it. From Rogier's perspective, at the very least (I'm super curious as to how Lorens would view Rogier but we'll probably never get it because... you know...). He's almost obsessed with him, and it's all pretty unhealthy lol.

Magdalene, who’s haunted by Ida who's probably a sort of lover that hadn't been fully brought to fruition. Different opinions on what they have had made Magdalene leave with (from what I have seen at least, we have scrapes of her, people! I can't wait to see more of Ida though)

Now with Ida... Magdalene absolutely shakes herself out of every thought she has about Ida. Spurning every single thought or imagination she has of that woman.

"Nausea comes in waves. Fever. She can feel delirium taking her—she’s convinced she’s submerged in the very waters of creation, for a while. She vividly feels herself sinking deeper and deeper into a current; cold and dark and inescapable. As it pulls her down, she’s overcome with the instinct to breathe it in— Against her temple she feels a hand, with gentle fingers dragging softly through her hair. Suddenly, every layer of the dream collapses in on itself, and she jolts awake with a gasp. Here, in Liurnia, she hauls herself up, rubbing at her face. Even the memory is a shock of cold water to her. She’s a woman haunted." -Chapter 23

(I just really love this part- I can't help it)

I think it's also really interesting how Magdalene leaves Ida due to their differences in what they have (?) while Rogier just absolutely hangs onto Lorens no matter what, despite him being... er... him. Not so sure about his personality with the small flashbacks we get of him but he’s probably not good for Rogier.

In short, Rogier venerates Lorens, while Magdalene absolutely rejects Ida. (Opposites!)

Rogier’s overthinking

Also found it interesting that when Rogier thinks he really thinks. He's a professional overthinker, even in the past

"He thinks of the labyrinthian etiquette, the way he’d triple-check every sentence for a double meaning. The secrets, the ruthless political schemes. It all felt like a spider’s web to him. He’d learned the game, and he played it well, but it had been nothing but paranoia and misery for him. Just like it was for everyone else." -Chapter 17

It's what's kept him alive (Ch. 17), and what's been able to pave the way for his findings Yet, it’s also his curse. He tries to pick out every detail that he can and think of every possible reason or motivation. Every single outcome he just needs to know so that he won't get caught by surprise again. He needs to be in control of the situation, he needs to be the master of the chessboard.

Oh and once this guy spirals, he really spirals. He starts thinking and looking at details, rewinding every single thing, every interaction, and trying to label a reason for every little thing. Yet... something emotional seems to break the surface of the water.

I personally think that he was raised to overthink. He was a noble after all, and he dealt with politics. He truly needed to check, double check, triple check, every single sentence and word in case it would have a double meaning. "He’d learned the game, and he played it well" (Ch. 17) . Getting worse after Lorens' death, being fooled by "Only a cut." (Ch. 25) and seeing the aftermath of it.

He can't not do it because if he doesn't, and he gets surprised it would break him (or at the very least, freak him out).

ALSO!! Rogier hating on "saccharine conversations" (Ch. 17) good lord. This guy cannot be real with anyone. Rogier refuses to show vulnerability because:

1. He was raised like that (the whole attachment theory thing) 2. He will absolutely break if he does

Do you guys remember when Fia tells Magdalene that "dear Rogier began to weep as he spoke" (Ch.14)? Fia saw through Rogier's walls through the cracks and he just absolutely breaks down. (Get yourself a man who, after "embracing" tells you all about this thing he's obsessed about and then cries because of it)

It's a mortifying ordeal, that someone's able to see through the walls you've meticulously put up. It hits something deep within that he’s tried to bury.

Despite the walls he puts up people other than Fia see through them. Magdalene (Ch.7) was able to see through the small cracks that have broken, and Roderika... hoo she really hit a nerve didn’t she? (But it also hit one of her nerves too, Rogier vs Roderika am I right?)

Chapter 17 analysis

Also, while we’re on the topic of Roderika, let's talk about chapter 17! Seems I have a lot to talk about.

I absolutely love this chapter so much, it gives us so much insight into Rogier's backstory and the way he thinks. His noble background really shines through here, with how he acts with Roderika who is a fellow ex-noble too.

"His grin is wide and carefree, but it rather feels like he's baring his teeth. There’s no room for your pity here." -Chapter 17

This guy cannot accept any sign of sympathy/compassion with anyone. It's all pity to him, and he absolutely hates pity. Once Roderika starts to console him too it sickens him and it makes him bare his teeth like an animal, his baser instinct showing just a little bit.

He’s probably bore his teeth to other nobles in the court, or whatever meetings they have with one another. Small threats that get the message across by a vicious smile, is something he is all too familiar with.

I also think that it's a little bit funny how he gives advice to Roderika but then is also a little bit of a hypocrite about it

“It’s hard, to leave it behind. But the old world will keep its claws in you, if you let it.” -Chapter 17

Rogier while it's not his past life that he's stuck but rather, he is stuck on Lorens. Even though Rogier is no longer Lorens' student, even though Lorens is dead, he still has his claws on Rogier. It's his entire motivation, why he's in a "pathetic" state now. He isn't letting those claws go, he lets them dig deeper within him, and they dig in deep.

“You already have it within you," he says. "They were only trying to bury it.” -Chapter 17

Rogier immediately buries his own emotions in this interaction when Roderika tries to console him lol. Just based off of him being an ex-noble and his whole family thing, it's well established that he is very much used to burying it all down his gullet. I mean, is it really Rogier without emotional suppression?

Also Rogier tends to close off all the matters that relate to what he feels in his dialogue both in game and in SWRD. This guy cannot let out just a slight moment of vulnerability

A Color Theory Thing on my read on Rogier's garb:

Rogier, with his background being grounded in nobility has suppressed his baser desires in exchange for meaningless political schemes that have only brought him misery. Yet after coming to these lands, he finds himself with Lorens.

He wears a Raya Lucarian Robe and it has red on it. It's a sign of baser instincts being shown for once. He has grown an infatuation with Lorens despite being his student.

Yet, Rogier is still mostly blue, and he still suppresses that baser desire that he’s developed, that infatuation for Lorens. He never once builds up the courage to be able to tell Lorens what he feels. He would always bury those feelings down, and as a result he can't let go of it. It's far too deep to be buried back up.

But once Lorens has died, Rogier changes too.

He exchanges those garbs for yellow and turquoise (I think?). He's a mix of colors and beliefs.

He still has the blue in the turquoise, which symbolizes calm, intelligence, and emotional control (you can’t spell Rogier without emotional control) But turquoise isn't just blue, it also has green.

Green represents growth, life, and new beginnings. This is a new beginning for Rogier, who's set out for a new goal, to be able to save those who live in death (and perhaps give them life? Not so sure on that but in SWRD that seems to be the case with Lorens).

It's balanced by yellow. Creativity and originality, he's almost the only person we meet who wants to save TWLID. Not only that but yellow also symbolizes illness, which could be a foreshadowing of what happens to him later in his life.

It's not just sickness though, yellow also symbolizes deception. Rogier lies, but I necessarily think he's someone who is always deceptive. He's more like the type of guy who would lie so that an encounter would go well or not hurt someone else's feelings. I think he's like that from that whole ex-nobility thing he's got going on. Political schemes and lying through a smile is something that he's familiar with. (It also doesn't help that he keeps being emotionally suppressed too lol)

Cowardice is another. Rogier is scared to tell anyone about his emotions, to take that risk of being honest with someone. His background in nobility and his family definitely doesn't help either.

Rogier had been too scared to be true to Lorens and tell him his feelings, and because of that, he would never be able to. I feel like he's avoided it even more afterward. He refuses to take that jump of being honest with someone, whether it's about his emotions or his ideals, he doesn't let them go.

But when he does? With D, it completely breaks off everything they've had. Everything that they could have been.

"Beguiled fool. A rotten, sick bastard. Fouled by them. A wicked, two-faced user. Heartless. Loathsome parasite. How could he? Were they not supposed to set this crooked world straight? Profane. A perversion of honor. A madman." -Chapter 5

“Get out of my sight.” “I’m sorry.” He’d said, and he was. But Darian’s lips curled back, and he jerked his head away and locked his eyes on the horizon. His jaw twitched, in the moment he took to reply. “Don’t talk to me.” There was nothing he could do to fix this. To undo his mistakes, to spare Darian his intentions." -Chapter 5

It's all gone because he had been honest about his goals (presumably). This experience probably strengthened that emotional suppression so as to not be hurt/caught by surprise.

So when Magdalene, someone who wholeheartedly accepts his ideals and sees his side for once, he's cautious. He can't believe that someone can genuinely agree with him because all the times that he has been honest, he's been punished for it. (though, he reminds himself that she's not like that)

In short, this guy's a mixed bag. A mixed bag with problems

(basing this off of the Elden Ring color theory video, it was an absolute joy to watch)

[EDIT]: Another thing I've noticed is that Rogier kind of views himself lowly (self-esteem issues ayyyy).

"He still doesn’t understand why. What did he do, specifically? Or was he just past his usefulness? Deemed unfit to rule? He never truly wanted to rule as Lord, but to be cast aside so indifferently—it had shaken him. Every now and then he fumbles with this, again and again, but he knows. He does. He knows that grace has forsaken him for good reason. He’s a heretic. An apostate. He who does not obediently bow before a faltering, decrepit Order, so ill-equipped to handle the world as it is. " -Chapter 5

"All these years. Couldn’t change a thing. Rather pathetic, I’d say—what a fool, thinking that this crooked world could be made right by mortal hands. Sure, deathblight. Truly, a fitting end for a worthless, rotten bastard." -Chapter 12

Now, speaking from some personal experience, being raised in a family that's of nobility and expects so much out of you from a young age definitely breeds some kind of self-worth issues that really stick with you. Especially if you haven't had anyone to truly support you.

Because of that, I believe that Rogier, in a way, is trying to prove his worth. But not to the Order, I think that he's in some way trying to please Lorens. Even in death.

He puts everything into his studies of Death, searching and scouring for scraps of information just to give him a single lead on anything, and for what?

"Its fulfillment will be a selfish act of altruism. These crooked lands will set right, by his hands, for a reward of nothing at all. But make no mistake: he needs another day. And another after that, and another after that. He needs his questions answered with questions, he needs his notes corrected in an unreadable hand, he needs to hear one more “Well—” followed by the most opaque, convoluted tangle of sentences ever constructed. There’s no reward he seeks, but the warm smile of cold gray eyes and a scoff about just what he’s wearing nowadays. " -Chapter 19

Rogier devotes himself to saving TWLID (saving Lorens, in reality), but it's not because it's all for selfless reasons, he seems to want things to go back to the way things used to be. Back at the Rise, with just him and Lorens once more.

I don't think Rogier ever accepted Lorens' death. He's determined to bring back Lorens, desperately trying to find a solution to bring him back no matter what.

Rogier is a man who refuses to grieve and is desperate for a solution for a dead man who's probably not even good for him. Get this man some therapy

This entire post's summary is just me going:

Anyway, that's all for my crazy rambles! I can't wait to see how SWRD will progress, and how everyone will intermingle and grow with one another (Rogier and Mags)!!!! :0)

Have some doodles + a WIP that I'll probably never finish as a treat for reading this! (Mag's torso was wayyy too long on the second one oops)

(bonus boggart because I love him)

#not gonna talk about d yet #I don't want to assume too much about him just yet #but d is really interesting and i absolutely love this take on him and his grief :0) (not that I've read any other d fics.)#Rogier is so damn complicated #like. he's got so many problems like. dude get a grip and get a therapist #mags reel him back in and send him to the therapy office while ur at it #sorry if u guys cant understand my insanity... it cannot be contained #or else ill explode into pink glitter and my blood splattered all across the room #hhhh maybe ill edit this later i have to do some stuff :(#oh also unlocal if u do see this no pressure at all!! I just needed a place to be able to go crazy over ur fic lol #theres like. probably a lot I've missed but I'll make another one if I get insane again #some of this is probably incorrect and is just me reaching for an answer that doesnt exist btw #swrd #rogier #magdalene #envelope rambles #i wrote this in like. two sittings #what is happenign to me #I STILL RAMBLE IN TAGS YOU CANNOT STOP ME #the mortifying ordeal of posting #AAAA #uou guys i keep noticing things and. i just keep on fuckign ADDING MORE THINGS IN #[EDIT]: Added in rogier's self esteem into this too :3

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