#i'd feel like a shadow of myself forever if that happened

[cquackity]

i love the different interpretations of what happens to physical bodies after revival. like with c!wilbur did he revive from the same bones? was the organic material recycled? did he have to dig his way out of rubble to be reuinited with the world? or did he appear right over where his bones still rest without a proper burial, forgotten by the people he thought would at least give him a funeral?

#i need to find that post i made that parker added really cool writing to #about cwilb burying his own bones when he was revived again #i LOVE that interpretation i think its absolutely bonkers genius #copies of physical bodies still existing upon revival is horrifying to think abt #in context of ctommy and his prison death. Scary #i think it makes most sense for bodies to be recycled to create the new ones #which is why i LOVEEEE the falling apart at the seams sort of zombie look for revived bitches #it's not that they're not Human. just that revival isn't a perfect process #especially from cdrm you cannot tell me that guy perfected that craft. he's not a god. he's mortal #so i think they'd be stitched together and recrafted a bit messy. y'know? #anyway. imagine getting revived and the first thing you see is your own rotting flesh and bones #i'd feel like a shadow of myself forever if that happened #personal

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

Love Underwater

Captain Hook/Killian (Once Upon A Time) × Black Reader.

Light smut and angst.

Killian wasn't always bad. He was kind and considerate.. gentle. He caressed your face with his only hand and spent unrushed hours smoothing your small coils around his fingers, staring into your eyes as you talked endlessly about life and the future. Despite his bloody and sadistic past, you were sure that he wasn't the same Killian that did all those unspeakable things under his pirate moniker Captain Hook.

Captain Hook was a detestible monster responsible for a slew of cold murders and crimes.. Killian felt shame, remorse, and most of all, love.

The two of you made plans. You were gonna settle down, get married, start a family. No more past, only a bright and beautiful future full of love and children's laughter.

Then he was shot by a vengeful bullet, fired before you could blink. It was hazy summer afternoon in your favorite forest clearing. You watched in horror as he tried to register what happened before he collapsed, bleeding out onto the grass.. in your arms.

While his dying words were of undying love and dashed hopes, your tears stained your face and wet his hand, which was pressed sweetly against your cheek. You felt his heart. He was at peace.

But you were not. Deserved or not, you couldn't accept it. You wanted the planned future with a warm home and children. You NEEDED him to live for you and stay with you to keep you from falling apart. He was your family.

On top of that, you wanted vengeance on the one who dared rip everything from your hands. Death to his killer. It was tearing you apart.

"I.. Killian, I know a way to bring you back if you trust me," you whispered, trying your best to keep him comfortable and convince him.

"You were never good at lying," he smiled, stroking your cheek. "It's okay, really. You'll live a good life, and I'll ALWAYS be with you. Death can't stop love."

"But, Killian, there is a way... It's not the best way, but-"

"NO," he said sternly, softening when your eyes got even sadder. "I know what you're thinking and no. Promise me you won't use it. I know myself, and I'd never resurface if I became a dark one. It's taken everything in me to kill off Captain Hook, and I only did it because I wanted to be with you. I'm still a selfish man. I'm begging you... Don't make me be a monster."

You looked deep into his eyes, feeling just as hopeless and selfish as his life spilled on the grass. He'd found it deep within his bones to change and become a good person once. He could change again with a little help from you. You wouldn't abandon him. You had faith in him to defeat the evil in his heart.

But even if he couldn't and was never your Killian again... you couldn't bare the pain of losing him forever, so you did what you felt you had to.. to bind him to life.

You used Merlin's sword to turn him into a creature of evil. A 'dark one'. Only then could he live on forever immortal. One deep stab through the gut was all it took just before he died. Hot tears rolled down your cheeks as you took in the look of betrayal in his eyes. His hook wrapped the sword. He was hurt.

You knew there was a chance that he would never, ever be yours again.

Once he passed out, the black liquid shadows of wickedness surrounded and overtook him like a bath of ink clinging to his form and possessing him. He was lifted high and enveloped until he was regenerated.

His face and body were the same, but his brow was set, and the look in his eye had turned wicked.

"Is there a reason you look so sad? What's happened?"

He still had concern. You stared in shock and uncertainty as he approached you as he always had, with gentleness and calm. His touch on your cheek was the same.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? Speak to me."

"I.. Let's.. Let's get out of here."

He seemed so confused. "Oh. Ok... Where would you like to go?"

"Anywhere. I'd go anywhere with you."

He didn't remember. He didn't understand that he was different. He didn't understand what you'd just done to him.

You took his arm like it was your lifeline, taking in his scent and his warm. It was hard to regret when you had him back like this and so close.

He could never know, you determined. For his own sake and for yours. You would be with him always and be his reasoning. Single-handedly (no pun included), you would protect him from himself and redeem him at any cost while hiding what you'd done.

"Sweetheart, you seem off lately. What's been on your mind and don't say 'nothing,'" Killian stalls, watching you from the door of the Captain's quarters... his and your quarters. You thought he'd gone.

It's been over a month at sea with him and his rancid crew since he's returned to piracy as Captain Hook, as though he's never left. You've seen evil in him that you've never known.

He's manipulated, murdered, lied, and pillaged. He's done it all indescriminately, with no mercy. He's overtaken the weak, the old, the young, and the feeble. He does not blink to murder nor does he care. He didn't even waste a second in hesitation when he got Merlin killed. Merlin. His mentor.

What's worse, you've failed horrendously in bringing him into the light. Every passing day comes with difficult decisions and results in deaths. You've done terrible things to stay by his side.

It's hard to see yourself this way, plunged so deep into villainy, but you won't look back if it means you'll be together with Killian.

He needs you. You need him.

"I'm fine. I was thinking about the seige on DunBroch. How will we destroy King Fergus and his army? His daughter, Merida. She's also a problem."

"Is that what you're worried about?"

He takes you carefully into his arms, squeezing you hard like he's afraid you'll disappear. You have been distant, despite your thoughts always being on him.

"You don't have to worry about me," you reassure, gripping the black leather sleeves of his jacket for grounding.

If you push the world from your mind, you can almost pretend for a moment that everything is perfect and he was never shot. The two of you never turned down a dark path. Everything is fine.

You pull him into your fervent kiss, your desperate tongue seeking his in an effort to escape with him into a miracle. Your hand tossles in his soft brown hair. His skin is flushed and warm.

You nudge him toward the table, where you splay yourself over the large tattered map, your bottom half on DunBroch, and your top on Fairy Tale Land.

You've been wearing black leather in solidarity with Killian as his right hand, but that leather comes off and forms a pile on the cabin floor.

"Ooh," you grip the table as the ship rocks on the ocean, nearly throwing you. Killian grips you for stability.

You briefly wonder if you should check outside, but Killian reads your mind and protectively pins you. Your silent plea to be ravished despite the turbulence takes precedent.

"If we die, we die," he whispers, taking you on the spot with no protection. Your bare heat envelopes him. He's entranced by your pull and drunk on your pheromones, falling into your neck, nibbling and grazing down your body with unending kisses that lay their claim with dark bruising on your brown skin.

His dick pulses inside of you, teasing your pleasure receptors with textured grinds and swelling pressure as you both fight gravity in the name of sex.

"Captain! Captain!" The mangy crewmates bellow and panic on the deck.

You tear away enough to reason that sex will always be there. The important thing now is to ensure the safety of this ship. Nudging him doesn't work. You have to push. Finally, he heads out with you quickly redressing, grabbing anything to stay upright.

"Well well well if it isn't Captain Hook and his one true love," a goose-like thin white woman grins. You look at Killian. It's clear by the sword raised to her narrow pale throat that he's never seen her as far as he remembers.

But you have.

"Ohhh," she pouts, flicking the tip of the sharp sword like it's wood. "You could use that if you'd like, but it wouldn't kill me. Go on... Try it."

Killian didn't hesitate. He ran her through, but she pulled it out with a roll of her eyes.

"Pathetic. I thought you were the mighty Hook. Guess I was wrong."

"Who are you," Killian squints as you look on, unsure of what to do. Her appearance is so sudden. If you charge, you look suspicious. If you don't, she may talk.

"My oh my has she kept a lot from you," she teases to Killian.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't listen to her Killian," you finally speak up. It's your first mistake. Now he's suspicious of you.

"You know her?"

You can't lie. Not about this. "Yes... She's the Wicked Witch of the West."

"You killed my sister," she grins, seething with evil intent as she approaches Killian. It's clear she's caused the waters to rock upon boarding the ship, broom in hand.

Killian is shaken for the first time since he's come back to life, but he's never backed down from a fight. He's willing to die right now.

"STOP," you step forward quickly.

"I don't think I will," the wicked witch grins, releasing a howling cackle toward the sky as she summons a lightning bolt to strike Killian dead.

He shakes and sizzles like he's stuck as he's being fried before your eyes and the crew who watch idly in fear.

That lightening would've killed any one of them easily. It would've killed Killian... If he were mortal.

He looks at himself in awe, not a scar, not a scratch. He knows as well as you that survival was impossible, yet here he stands.

"And now you know the truth," says the witch. "That you have been betrayed by the only person you've ever loved more than yourself." She grins, watching it register in your eyes and Killian's. "How I love that broken look. Everything taken from you."

You can't deny that he's standing before you unharmed, but you can try your best to explain why you did what you did to him in that meadow.

"You lied to me?" He stares, waiting for you to tell him something. Anything. "You've been lying to me this whole time."

"I couldn't lose you," is your truth. You stood on it then, and even if he never forgives you, you still stand on it. "I need you in my life, Killian. And you didn't deserve to die."

"Yes. I did," he says with no hesitation. All warmth leaves his eyes, and his brow sets, ice cold. "I told you. I didn't want this. Now I'm stuck this way forever, and it's because of you."

The venom is palpable. There's despair, rage, and most of all, the pain of betrayal.

You try your best to appeal, telling the entire truth. Everything. You love him so violently and passionately that you will do anything.

"Anything?" His tone lifts, interested. It's not the same interest you're used to. It's sinister. The interest he shows to those who cross him. It's a vendetta. "If what you say is true... and you did curse me for eternity because you love me... step onto that plank."

He raises his sword to you and backs you up onto it when you stand in front. The point of the metal in your back, you hover over dark and deep water, cold and full of unknown danger. It's a sure death with no islands in proxemity to swim to.

"Ah ah," he tuts as you turn to look at him, your once charming love. "You said anything or did you lie about that too?"

"It wasn't a lie that I love you," you maintain. "That'll always remain."

"Oh yeah?" He smirks, nudging you further to the wavering and creaking edge.

You're seconds from a steep drop, but even so, your mind is on Killian. You did this to him. You took a man who, with hard work and discipline, had done a 180 with his life, and you put him back where he started. You knew if he ever knee the truth there was a strong chance you'd lose him forever and now forever had come.

"Any last words?"

"Death can't stop love."

You see the break in his expression. It's only a second, but it was there.

He quickly recovers, leaning in to grit his own finishing line.

In the end, it's his sword going directly through your gut that ends it. He looks directly into your brown eyes, content to rip the blade out of you causing pain both ways.

There's no more regret in his eyes.

You fall off the edge of the plank, content to disappear from his life forever as a body lost at the bottom of the sea.

The people who say drowning is painless... have never drowned before.

Once you dipped beneath the cold surface of the near-black waters, you lost all oxygen and gradually lost your body heat as well as blood.

The salt water burned your lungs on entry, and as you sunk deeper, your lungs filled. You didn't even struggle.

The light disappeared. You lost all sense of direction, floating blind and weightless in pitch black.

You didn't mean to hurt Killian. You never wanted any of this to happen, especially him finding out like this.

But there was something else he didn't know that both you and the witch had neglected to tell him.

Despite the burn in your eyes, you swim as long as it takes to see a glimpse of light. From there, you push to the surface and swim searching for land and fighting fatigue.

You didn't have the heart to tell him, lest he think he could never escape you. He wasn't your slave nor your toy. You weren't playing with his heart or trying to control him.

If he wants, you'll stay away. You won't see him. You won't be there no matter how much it hurts you because at the end of the day you will always love him.

Six Months Later

You're at a pub bar in Storybrooke, your home, when you look to your right and spot Killian, but return to your lemongrass drink.

He comes to sit beside you, but you're used to that. Wishful thinking.

"Beer," he requests from the bartender, taking a big sip and hesitating with his hook tapping the tall glass. "I might have... overreacted," he says.

It's off script from what you typically torture yourself with through memories. He touches your hand, and it's like you wake up.

It's him. He's actually there.

"How did you know I was alive," you ask, genuinely surprised that he'd seek you out.

"I knew as soon as that witch stabbed me. If I was a dark one, you were too. You were always that way. You wouldn't hurt me without hurting yourself." He sighs, wondering how to word what he wants to say. "I've been angry, but I'm realizing that part of that anger... is the curse, not you. I don't hate you, not anymore. I just don't think we can ever work out again."

You get a better look at him, seeing he still looks like himself. His eyes have softened, just a little.

"I've been working on my journey, trying bit by bit to change myself. I did it once when I was in love with you. Maybe I can do it again."

He looks hopeful. You smile at him.

"Maybe," you agree. "I believe in you."

He hesitates to speak and you use the opportunity to touch the warmth of his face, watching it slightly redden before he gently pulls away.

"What have you been up to?"

"Working... in Baker's Man Bakery, making cakes as quickly as possible. Those cakes are in high demand."

"You were always good at that," he nods. "You were good at a lot."

"Thank you..."

He takes a large gulp of his beer, and you sip your lemongrass, feeling awkward. There's a lot of dead air between you, but it's full of emotions. You remember moments like this with him before the bad things happened.

"What's funny," he asks.

"I was just thinking of the petty arguments we used to have then we'd sit there awkwardly just like this, trying to find some sort of mutual excuse to make up without admitting fault."

"It was a team effort," he smiles genuinely at you for the first time in a long time.

You'll take it. Quickly, you look away so as not to ruin it, deciding to change the subject.

"I hear the beer in New Wonderland is ins-"

The soothe of his lips on yours erases the thoughts you were thinking. His kiss is like a balm that calms the burn in your heart. He grips your head as he takes your tongue hostage. You taste his alcohol as well as the months of his frustration. Opposed to what you so deeply want, you pull away to keep things between you on a positive end.

"Maybe one day, when... If... I'm able to change like before... we could-"

"Sure," you nod, willing to take that deal. "Come find me."

"I won't be immortal anymore if that happens," he stares. "Neither will you."

You knew that a long time ago. Your lives are connected. You hug him once and watch him leave on his complicated journey to shed the evil once more.

The next time you see him, there's a strong possibility that both of you will be mortal once again. He'll be the Killian you fell for, and you'll be stronger.

@dashhoney25 @lettidarawest @soufcakmistress @ljstraightnochaser @princessstevens-blog @eye-raq @thiccdaddy-mbaku @destinio1 @iamrheaspeaks @hidden-treasures21 @bidibidibombaclaat @forbeautyandlife @blowmymbackout @misspooh @thotyana-in-this-hoe @purplehairgawdess @thegucciwaffle @goddessofthundathighs @theegoldenchild @thadelightfulone @sultanabby @mysticalblackhottie @baekhyunbabybunni @fd-writes @richonne4life @goldieccentric @thehomierobbstark @capswife @blackpinup22 @harleycativy @lishabaybeee-blog @playgurlxoxo @beaut1fulone-blog @blackerthings @syndrlla97 @ladymac82 @browngirldominion @prettyisasprettydoes1306

#original #once upon a time #killian jones #killian #killian jones x reader #black reader #black fanfiction #once upon a time fanfiction #spooky szn

[summertimemusician]

Linktober Shadow Day 7

Gloom Hands

This goes out to the way I cackled hysterically once seeing these things in TOTK, well done Zelda Team. They're a terrifying concept and I really feel exploring that could be fun, even if this prompt gave me a headache and a half.

Bit late today because we've been pelted by way too many storms/lightning and writing on mobile with lightning shaking your house is generally a bad idea, so I spent most of the time writing this and the Linktober prompt by hand, then transcribing it back onto mobile as soon as I could touch eletronics without the major risk of being zapped and picking a god and praying that my internet wouldn't be too funky so I could get it out on time. Short one again though because I still need to finish the Linktober prompt so it should come out later today or fully tomorrow, sorry folks.

Anyway, as always can be read as romantic or platonic, also Sage is here both because of the prompt and because the mental image of Wild Reader and Sage trauma bonding over the extremely twisted nature Gloom/the Malice have compared to just dark magic in general in LoZ was too funny to resist, if Nintendo won't talk about the many variations of Dark Magic in LOZ and how it affects any who come in contact with it then lord darn it I guess I'll just have to do it myself (or as much as I can without breaking out the companion essay to the Realm of Darkness and Realm of Light essay which I'm already having trouble digging out).

TW:

Technically graphic descriptions of decay, gore and eldritch horror, and Reader just not having a good day in general, don't recommend reading I'd you're highly squeamish.

When you’ve first met Sage, as the Chain temporarily dubbed him, you and Wild didn’t miss the way he looked so, so haunted. Emotions warring like a storm as he looked Wild over in a mix of disbelief and the weariness of a wounded fox getting ready to bite just to escape, at the Chain with such longing ache that made one’s heart break, the way the first time he met Wolfie he didn’t hesitate to throw himself atop the canine and hug him so close like he was trying to melt into the fur, and looking at you like he didn’t know wether to cry, scream or to shut down before he buried it under the mask you knew your resident Champion could use when trying so desperately to keep it together, hands shaky as he signed in a way that set your teeth on edge and felt like you had taken a dozen of ice arrows to the back, urgent, 'It’s not safe. None of you should be here. You need to leave. Now.'

Needless to say it was alarming, even as you all knew just how ferociously untamed his and Wild’s Hyrule could be, with being overrun with so, so many types of divinity through each crack, root, drop and flesh of it’s beings. From Hylia’s cold calculating care, the Three Goddesses blood, tears and breath of life, to the Malice’s howling self sustaining fury, The Lost Woods ever overgrowing freedom and even the remnants of the Fierce Deity’s hunt in Satori’s and Malaniya's savage display of cyclic eternity, it wasn’t any surprised that apart from the Traveler’s Hyrule it was the most aggressive one with the smorgasbord of energy so thick it made even you choke on it everytime you stepped foot in it. Beautiful and free in an echo of it’s once untamed state in the age of myth even before Sky.

Over time, you and the Chain learned how to adapt to it. To listen to the warnings Wild gave about the Guardians and about the remains of Malice in his monsters, of how the moon had been forever tainted with it and how, until Sheikah tech was fully repurposed it would be best to avoid the castle all together it was difficult but manageable, and even if Sage’s reaction was alarming (and he seemed even more troubled once Wild passed onto him from Sky that, while he wasn’t to come with them yet due to how things were apparently ‘fated’ to happen, there was no way you all could leave quite yet, distantly sticking by Wild and Twilight when possible and checking on everyone’s health when not doing so), you’d though it would be much the same for his own, and in parts you were right as the Chain had taken to the new environment like fishes to water even if it took some adjustments.

Though you were quickly proven wrong, and you could have laughed at your past self’s naivety.

It was meant to be a quick run to clear a black blooded monster camp, and while decently challenging, it was over quickly between the Chain getting more apt at fighting the enemy, Sage’s addition as the man fought as ruthlessly and ferociously as Wild, switching between deadly marksmanship and feral combat on a dime and the absence of the unnaturally inteligent black scales lizalfos, you’d rest and be on your way quickly. Or so you all thought.

Twilight had been the first to smell it, the bubbling of dark but distinctively twisted magic, even more so than Zant’s brand of madness. Wild the one to spot it, the rot black and blood crimson building up at the edges of camp from his vantage point but it was Sage who had tensed, eyes snapping to the faint glow the Master Sword emmited just as the sky darkned before his frantic, alarmed howl swept over the Chain, the sheer desperate, protective panic making all of your boys still, because Sage never used his voice unless he absolutely had to, “IT'S NOT OVER! MOVE!”

It was all the warning any of you got before reality twisted, straining, and then finally screaming, the heavens staining with crimson as if gutted open, the eyes of a sin against nature itself cutting through your relief and infecting your veins with terror. It shakes you to the core, freezing with indecisive flight or fight as you spotted the tide. Heart in your throat as you tried to comprehend what you saw.

“WHAT THE-“, Legend cursed, looking ashen as his grip on his fire rod tightened. Really, all of your heroes look disturbed and you can’t blame them.

“Get to high ground if you want to live! We can’t fight these things.”, snapped Sage, much more composed, but no less frenzied.

None of you hesitate to listen.

(There were some unspoken rules, when in Wild’s Hyrule the first time around. If there is something the Champion, the most reckless of all Links, wasn’t willing to fight head on or said wasn’t worth it, the best course of action was to listen, specially if the group was vulnerable.)

The hands screech, the tide rolling over the land with an reality splitting clamoring, a sound so filled with fury and so, so twisted it made your Hylian’s ears friends bleed and you lift a hand to your head in pain as Wild pulled you along, Sage leading the charge for the nearest cliff face as Warrior’s threw Wind over his shoulders and Twilight didn’t hesitate before doing the same to Four, the frost from Legend and bomb arrows from Time and Sky barely doing nothing to slow it’s relentless charge, merely taking from it a distorted, pitched crescendoing belt of pure rage and the overlaying of many tortured souls screaming all at once, of Hyrule rejecting this existence from the world but wounded at being unable to vanquish it, the sound it makes as it spreads and drags itself across the ground with uncanny speed with it’s many, many arms like something in between sludge and smacking, wet, rotten flesh.

Sage switches between shooting arrows to helping the other Links up the cliff and shooting at it’s eyes with the strongest bow he has,making as many arrow fusions on the spot as he dares. The others quickly taking as many ranged weapons from their sides to do the same. You help Hyrule up the clifface, while Wild swipes Cryonis over the field, climbing up himself, being hauled to Sage’s side.

You are almost there when one of the hands latch onto your ankle, and you go down with a scream, Sage all but dropping the bow in his hand in favor to latching onto your hand with snarl. And

It.

Is.

Agony.

(It burns through you like your very atoms have been set on fire,bthe hands take the opportunity to sink into you, long long unnatural fingers sinking into your flesh in a unhurried blanket of darkness, the Demon King’s will is roaring, growling with abyssal rage, if it cannot rule Hyrule, it would kill everything in it instead. Gloom sinks into your cells, raptures the membranes and makes the skin slip, frantically invading, you taste rotten flesh on the back of your throat and the scent of wither and ash choke you as it sinks into your flesh, marrow, breaks down your bones bit by bit, cracking and infecting and breaking down your very essence with the fury of a dead deity which refused die, decay on an accelerated rate all over where the hands clutched like a vice as the Links trunfo pull you out or attack it and it is painful and it’s excruciatingly wretched and make it STOPCEASEITHURTS-)

A well aimed Skyward Strike severs the connection, the pain stops and you fall into Sage, breathing hard and unevenly, grasping at him like a lifeline, clawing and counting at Wild’s arm on your other side like a wounded animal, your taste blood on your throat from the screams that were ripped from it, Hyrule falling to his knees on your side as healing magic washes over you like a shroud, trying to get you to respond.

Reality howls along with you, before all is silent.

It barely took a second.

“... Just what were those things?”, rasps Sky, horrified, a sentiment echoed through the Chain, though you can’t focus on it, trying not to choke on your own blood and to pull yourself together, Wild’s hand unconsciously settling on your pulse, shaking, and Sage’s tense tone cuts through the air as he scans the area. Still tense, tone hoarse.

“... The reason why I wanted you to leave.”

Later, much, much later, before you all leave, you learn they are called Gloom Hands.

It’s unanimously agreed that all you hold loathing for those abominations, even long after you’re forced to leave Sage.

He whispers something to Wild on the way out, hugging him close, trembling. Your Champion nods, you can’t make out the words, but you make sure to hold him as close as you can before you go, indulge him in checking for your pulse even long after you’re healed.

You hope he’ll be safe, he hopes that the next time you all see each other again, it’ll be under better circumstances.

#linked universe x reader #linked universe wild x reader #linked universe sage x reader #Does Sage know more than he lets on? Absolutely. Will he ever talk about it? Probably not. #Up to interpretation what Sage told Wild because it's very intentional that no one but him hears it #Yes I threw the Chain right in the middle of his adventure just to cause future worry and trauma lol #Just saying. The Gloom Hands are as much a living being as they are an infection upon the living land that is Hyrule #None of the aspects of Hyrule like it and the people in it much less. #Due to the many faces of Dark Magic in LoZ not even people connected to it are down for it in this essay I will- #I have a lot of thoughts about it in my mind and headcanons to try and fill in the gaps but sadly the storm kept me from addressing it #Also shout out to the ask about my thoughts on it. #I apologize for the wall of text you shall receive once I'm actually well rested enough because 'tis a long one #but just thinking about it helped me dive into this prompt with all the vigor of a possessed victorian widow #after inheriting her husband's state #I have way too many thoughts about the nature of Hyrule and the lore and connections behind it's magic lol #summer writes linktober shadow 2023 #summer writes

[pardi-real]

Tarot of Destiny / Chapter 9 - Our Star of Hope

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[Maginaria, Fire Temple]

We arrived at a place called the 'Fire Temple' as Nac led me there. Just as the name suggests, flames flickered throughout the temple, giving off a somewhat magical beauty.

Nac: "Fufufu… This power spot has a magnificent ambiance, fitting for conveying one's feelings.  ...My lord, please take a look at my tarot card right away. The card I received is... 'The Star' in ‘reversed position’. 

This card signifies... 'Loss of hope' and 'Fear of failure to take action,' among other things. Indeed, it's a card that suits me.  I am the opposite of a beautiful star, a tainted individual... Hope and success are distant entities to me. 

The reason I always valued beauty... was because I understood that I was far from being 'beautiful' myself. This scarred body and dark past... Someone like me could never hope to be accepted by those I hold dear.  That is why I concealed my ugly self... and planned to live forever behind a mask.

However… despite all, my lord… you accepted me as I am. You gave me hope when I believed that someone like me would never be accepted by people important to them. Thus... as long as my lord is by my side... even if this 'star' known as me loses its shine... my lord will provide me with light. I have nothing but gratitude for such a lord. 

My lord. Please continue to allow me to serve by your side, and with your beautiful radiance... continue to illuminate my existence..."

> "Nac..."

Nac's eyes conveyed his sincere feelings. Watching him... I couldn't help but feel the deep sense of gratitude he was expressing.

Nac: "Fufu... If I could, there are still more words I'd like to convey to you, my lord... but there are others waiting after this, so I'll hold back for today. Also… I'm a bit concerned about Lamli's staring."

> "Eh... Lamli?"

Lamli: "Hmph~......"

Nac: "Lamli, refrain from taking a peek from the shadows."

Lamli: "Huh? Wait, are you talking to me? I had earplugs in, so I couldn't hear well. Just a sec... Okay, I'm good now. So, Nac are you done talking?"

Nac: "Yes. It's your turn now, Lamli. However... couldn't you have waited until I called you? When conveying emotions, it should be just me and my lord.  That was the agreement, wasn't it?"

Lamli: "But I was worried Nac might do something rude to my lord. Besides... I had earplugs in, so it's fine!"

Nac: "What do you mean by 'fine'? Good heavens... I bid my farewell here, but please, Lamli, ensure you don't do anything disrespectful to my lord."

Lamli: "Don't worry! Just don’t peek, okay?"

Nac: "I certainly wouldn’t. And I’d rather not hear it from you.  ...Anyways... my apologies, my lord.  If anything happens, please call me immediately. I'll rush to you faster than a shooting star."

Lamli: "Sure, sure. If you’re a shooting star then you should vanish already."

Nac: "Well then... Excuse me, my lord."

Clack… clack…

Lamli: "Good grief... Why did Nac get the 'Star' card~? While I got the 'Hanged Man’ card! Shouldn’t it be the other way around?"

> "Hanged Man?"

Lamli: "Yeah! My card is ‘The Hanged Man' in 'upright position'. There's a guy hanging upside down on it, looks eerie, but... it doesn't seem to have such a negative meaning. It's more like ‘reflecting on oneself and rebirth.' 

Fufu. It might actually express me well. After meeting you, my lord... There are clear changes in me from before!"

> "Changes?"

Lamli: "Yes! For example, my attitude towards battles. Before... I honestly didn't care much about fighting. I mean, I think the 'mission to protect humanity' is important, but... I'm not so selfless… to risk my life to protect people who hate me. 

Of course, I wanted to help my fellow butlers... and wanted to be of use to Master Lucas, but... there are many people stronger than me, including Master Lucas... I thought, 'Isn't it okay if I don't try so hard?' 

But... when my lord came to the mansion... this person alone... made me want to protect them by my own.  However... due to my lack of strength, I was often excluded from dangerous expeditions... I began to feel that I wasn't enough to protect the people I care about... 

Fufu. I've been working hard in training lately! In the last mock battle... I managed to push Nac to take things a bit seriously! That never happened before. It means that I've grown stronger, right?

Right now, my life is the most enjoyable! Ever since my lord came... I've had many enjoyable memories and a lot to look forward to in the future! It's all thanks to my lord! Thank you so much, my lord!  I'll always, always... love my lord!"

> "Thank you, Lamli"

Lamli, who conveyed his feelings, looked at me with satisfaction. He seemed to overflow with the feeling of ‘wanting to stay here forever’... 

But considering Lucas was coming up... he reluctantly left the scene, while seemingly cherishing the moment.

Prev | All | Next

#aknk #tarot of destiny

[starry-nights12]

I'd love to hear about You Will Fall Too!!

OH MY GOD!!!

SOMEONE ASKED ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE WIPS!!!

This is told from Jinx's perspective! The fic is Rated M but here's the safe parts!

Summary:

You have to understand that I love Ekko. He's my entire world and I treasure every moment I have with him.

But that's also the problem. Nothing in my life ever last long being with me. I have to come to face that after a horrifying nightmare I had tonight.

CW: Jinx gets along with kids but expresses negative views on childbirth and parenting

I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

I hated everything about myself but when it came to my looks I always felt average.

Small, jagged veins pointed to my glowing pink eyes like broken glass.

I swiped my thumb across my lips. They were forever stained purple. My skin was always pale but had become nearly gray.

That's what happens when a body goes to post-mortem. Since oxygen is cut off, your lips turn purple and you lose all the color from your skin.

"A corpse! He turned my best friend into a corpse of what she used to be!"

Ekko told me that after I kidnapped him in the cannery.

I really am a living corpse.

Despite this, I could feel a gooey warmth begin in my heart and overtake my entire body when he called me beautiful.

Sometimes I wanted to joke about how he's a necrophiliac. But I knew he wouldn't find it funny or amusing in the slightest. He would be sad that what he said still affected me.

He apologized months ago yet the words still managed to twist their knife into my heart and loomed over me like a shadow.

I haven't told him that though because what else can he do?

My hand slid under my stomach to press it against my flat stomach.

The shimmer surgery didn't just change my apperance. I hadn't had my period in months.

We could adopt. He loved playing with the kids here and they saw him as a cool big brother.

I was like a rebel to them. I didn't listen to their precious leader, I told him to shut up and called him an idiot.

They're little minions. If Ekko was the role model then I was the troublemaker to bring fun into their day.

I'm glad me and Ekko don't want kids or else it would have been another thing life had taken from me.

Being seen as a brother/friend was different than being a parent. All the responsibility would fall on you.

You had to worry about this horrible world fucking them over. It could traumitize them worse than what me and Ekko been through.

I love Ekko. A baby would be made from our eternal love for each other. They would be half of everything I love about him and half of everything he loves about me.

But even so, a baby was like a parasite and I would be their host.

It would make you sick and then take everything from you. It would slowly grow and squirm inside you for nine torturous months and that made me want to gag.

#timebomb #ekkojinx #arcane #wip #angst #ask #wip ask game #anon #THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! #will be so HYPE when it's finished #firelight jinx au #you will fall too #my writing #my post

[lolokouhm]

FUSHIGOVER pt. III [THE PUPPET]

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 This ff is a fix, we’re living post 235 chapter. And this time - I've decided to REALLY fix what GEGE DESTROYED so plz bare with me

"Please, don't die. You can't die."

Honestly, Megumi had thought he'd been through enough shit in his life, especially in the past few months. But apparently - no. There was always more pain to come.

If he could chuckle, he would. If he had known how to unalive himself right there, in that moment, he would. It hurt. His whole soul was in agony. He wanted to sleep. Forever. He was tired.

He, his body, whatever - killed Tsumiki. And he, it - was about to kill his teacher, big brother, father figure - God knows what Gojo actually had been to him. He had thought about a few times before, but he hadn't come up with anything. It didn't matter anymore.

Nothing mattered.

The shadows were nice. In normal circumstances he would love to stay there, hugged tightly by them, but there was nothing normal about the situation he'd found himself in. It couldn't possibly get worse.

"Please, don't leave me. You can't leave me."

The voice was quiet, but it popped up in his head, suddenly mixing up the fog that had been covering his mind for the past... week? Month? He had no idea how much time had passed. He could recognise the words, but they didn't make much sense. Was there someone else who could be left alone? Was there someone else who he cared about?

Someone else who he could hurt?

"IF YOU DIE, I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!"

He shivered. The voice became awfully clear and irritatingly loud. Without any warning, the fog disappeared in an instant and Megumi groaned in pain. The numb feeling covering his whole being had its advantages - it didn't hurt that much. He made a mental life update.

It got worse. What a surprise.

He looked around.

At least he still had the shadows.

***

"You can't die. You can't die. You can't die."

The bathroom floor was cold - so cold, it was actually surprising that the insane amount of my tears spilling on it didn't cause the whole room to mist up. My cheeks were burning, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't.

It'd been over ten minutes since I saw Fushiguro. Over five since I'd found myself in the common bathroom on the ground floor of the dorms. Over four since I couldn't catch a breath.

It happened. From time to time. Even before that whole insanity, I'd had my... moments. Moments where I felt as if the world was somewhere else entirely, and I was just a spectator. Like watching a football match happening in some foreign country. Moments where I felt as if I were about to die - for no particular reason. Moments where I just lay on the floor and cried for something I didn't feel I had.

But all those became irrelevant after that fight. As if all my problems and insecurities suddenly stopped existing, and something bigger, way more terrifying stepped into their place, ready to fight me with its bare hands, an idea, really. An idea of losing Megumi Fushiguro.

He was there. He stood next to me. He was alive.

So why couldn't I stop crying?

Gojo was right. He was so right. My cursed energy was definitely leaking. Even though I had little to no idea what exactly he meant by "getting him out", I suspected that it had to be somehow connected to my cursed technique. A technique I've never actually found.

Not only me - not Gojo, Shoko, the principals. In this case, me and Yuuji were somehow similar, but my cursed energy was way more aggressive and overflowing. I had some trouble controlling it when I was starting school, but it really did get better with time, even though I'd had some slip-ups along the way. But this? Now, I could create potential curses. And I had no idea which exact feeling was making me feel that way.

"Y/N?"

Oh.

No.

"What happened?" Fushiguro's soft voice broke the silence. I lifted my head up just to see his awfully perfect frame in a really awful lightning. It was already dark outside, and the only dim light came from the hallway, so I couldn't really see his expression, but then he turned on the light in the room. He was a freaking painting.

A very worried one.

Megumi hesitated for a short moment, then he closed the door. He came up to me and got on one knee, visibly upset.

"Are you hurt?" he asked nervously, his gaze running up and down my body, looking for any signs of injury.

"Um... No." I said, but apparently that didn't sound very convincing to Fushiguro. Well, he saw me ten minutes ago and I was fine - and now I looked like a depressed mess. "I just... Ugh." I groaned. What was I supposed to say? "I'm having a meltdown." Somehow, this time his appearance put me back together instead of ripping me apart. The tears were starting to dry up on my cheeks. "I..."

Oh, stop it.

"I've just missed you like crazy."

He didn't lit up instantly, but something in his eyes sparkled, and his natural stiffness disappeared - well, not completely, but at least a bit. A shadow of a smile ran through his face, followed by a slight blush on his cheeks.

"I..." He frowned, visibly thinking about something. "I've missed you too." He added quietly. "It's actually a very nice place to have a meltdown at."

"It is." I tried not to stare at him, I swear. But how was I supposed to do that? I'd have to have some twisted cursed technique for that.

Fushiguro sighed and sat on the floor, next to me, leaning his back towards the wall.

"How was Kioto?" I asked, not really sure, what to say. We had a lot to unpack, but majority of the things I wanted to ask him about was just pure gore. Kioto seemed like the safest option.

Megumi sighed.

"Good."

"Talkative as always."

"I know you've got better questions".

He wasn't wrong.

"How are you feeling then?"

Silence.

"How should I feel?" His voice wasn't sad, rather tired. "I'm... I'm trying not to think about it." Megumi's gaze turned to his hands. A few scars were left here and there - Sukuna's reversed curse technique effects. "I've made my mind on one thing though. That's for sure."

"What's that?"

"I won't hate myself for not being strong enough. But I will hate myself for giving up too easily." He was somehow scary. It's not like I had never seen it before, but this time, it felt different.

"Don't hate-"

"There's always a reason not to give up. And if there isn't, then you can find one." He looked at me with an expression I wasn't able to recognize. What was that? Determination? "When Gojo striked Sukuna with that last purple, I woke up. I... I think I know what happened. Why he left my body. And why he might have wanted me in the first place." He took a deep breath. "When I manifested Chimera Shadow Garden during the Culling Games, it was... different. It had.. like a heart. Or rather, a vertebrae." I really liked talking with him, but this conversation didn't remind me of anything we'd had before. "And the nerves. I didn't think about it at first, but when I woke up, I managed to enter Sukuna's inner domain. Just for a second."

I froze.

"What do you mean?"

"Itadori told me about it later on." Fushiguro frowned, slowly dipping his fingertips in his own shadow. "That Sukuna's inner domain had ribs. Huge ribs. And for a moment, I... I could move them, (Y/N)."

I didn't think I was able to open my eyes that wide.

"You moved Sukuna's inner domain?"

"I think it had to be perfectly timed with the Purple, otherwise it wouldn't have worked." He added. "But I did it. I could move them, for a second, as if..." Megumi's hand dipped even deeper into the shadow. "Like a puppet on a string. Sort of. That's why we went to Kioto."

I had to look incredibly funny being as confused as I was, because Megumi chuckled.

"(Y/N), have you ever heard about Gashadokuro?"

#fushiguro #itadori #jjk #jjk megumi #jjk trio #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen megumi #jujutsu megumi #megumi fushiguro #gojo satoru #jjk236 #jjk manga #nobara kugisaki #jujutsu nobara #jujutsu kaisen nobara #jjk nobara #megumi #yuji #yuji itadori #gojo

[sparks-olivarpente]

Why I liked the Mindflayer better

This starts with "I prefer the Mindflayer over Vecna and that bothers me because I need to be impressed by the bad guy" and ends… It doesn't go anywhere actually. I tried to put my thoughts on paper and they ended up all over the place. Please don't read (thanks if you do!)

The Mindflayer works well as a metaphor of the unknown within us. Little Will can't yet face some stuff within himself, it appears to him as that huge unknowable shadow and Will doesn't know if he himself is the monster or what. This, I can relate to (I litterally used to believe there was an eldritch monster inside of me when I was 13)

But now that the monster has taken shape (S3) and became a person (S4)? He can't work as a metaphor anymore (to me, maybe that works for others. Let me know if it does <3). Now he's just some guy! Who talks too much. There's nothing hidden about him anymore (or maybe there is and that's the whole point. I know there are theories out there about things not being what they seem about Henry's story. Maybe he wasn't truthfull. A lot of S4 was about lying after all, it would make sense. He wants us/the Party to believe he's the bad guy and he's really still hidding behind that)

So, Henry. I understand little Henry up to a point (his view of time, feeling stuck, his loneliness, his disconnection, wanting to take control) but I don't see how that leads to wanting to destroy everything? in his place I'd just end up badly depressed. and wanting to escape. Maybe… if this is about what happens when a disconnected person meets an horror from another dimension, we still miss part of the story? or I just need to watch S4 again.

Our own personal dragons… they're only big scary monsters when we can't face them. Once we do, they become little lost puppies, or screaming toddlers. Not really scary. Where am I going with that… I guess, I can't find another human scary anymore (I mean, after spending most of my life meeting my own dragons) We're all just afraid and we need a hug or something. Henry looks like he has fallen into some deep internal black hole and a hug won't be enough but still. I can't be afraid of him. Annoyed, angry, but not impressed.

Although… being stuck forever in Henry's mindspace is pretty scary. Someone gets Max out of here ;_; It's like Henry created his own hell that's ended up worse than what he was afraid of (time, routine, lie) Time IS scary but… the UD or Henry's mindspace, that seems kind of stuck forever at ONE moment in time? It is worse. It can't evolve, it can't get better (I used to be afraid and angry about time and… just, reality as it is, until I ended up with the curious discovery that time can be seen as a gift of love but getting off topic) (just… I can see Henry being stuck in one of those dark places I was stuck in, only worse)

Having written that I think what I need is, maybe, a deeper understanding of Henry's fears? Now that the monster is a person, I need to see where he is stuck (I'm not sure about that part, I feel I'm contradicting myself, because I find people I can't understand at all, such as Lonnie or Angela, scarier. I really need to watch S4 again and see what really bother me with that guy) (maybe I just don't like Vecna because he looks ridiculous) If he's just the bad bad guy our team needs to kill to put the world back in order… what's the point? (I don't really think that will happen in S5. I don't have a clue what will happen in S5)

This… did not really go anywhere but then I warned you ^^

<3

#how do you guys write analysis and it makes sense? #my own thoughts look like disconnected clouds #good things i correct my spelling because unkniwledgeable doesn't exist #rambling about how I don't get Henry #or maybe i do? #mindflayer #vecna #stranger things analysis #me writing about st

[bloodyentrails]

I saw your tags... have at it! I'm curious :D Top 5 Black Sails scenes please!

i let myself stew with this for a few days because i didn't know what to write XD

so.

my all time favourite moment that i wasn't prepared for was TELL YOUR GUVNOR TELL HIM I'M COMING and, i mean, the whole episode, but it's like we've seen flint be violent and aggressive and we know he's a good fighter but we've not really seen him make a concerted effort and actually marshal troops and carry out an intricate plan and it being allowed to work??!! like he is finally able to use all his grief and anger towards something that makes sense and it's really beautiful. he feels so powerful in that episode to me, the sheer fucking confidence. i tend to pretend season 4 doesn't exist tbh, there's just too much heartache in it, too much in-fighting. but here he's so inspiring and he fucking knows it and in my mind i have this framed and i hope i can remember it forever.

(i think the relationship between flint wanting to protect nassau and rebuild it but never really communicates that vs him communicating it and putting it into practise, ... it's like he feels more alive to me in the season finale? like he's found a way to apply himself and channel his energy. i have spent a lot of time thinking about him wrt shadow work and i think he's one of the few characters who experience their own dark side and integrate the shadow and that is very powerful to me.)

james meeting thomas for the first time. like, the instant chemistry and the sass, this is what it's like to meet people you fall in love with and it's so perfect and i know it's his memory and maybe it wasn't so perfect but it was perfect to james anyway and i love them i love them i love them. i love ships that have this instant chemistry and i love that toby and rupert knew each other and it's so palpable. full marks, no notes.

anne coming home to max in the bath tub and taking off her gear and just sitting beside her. they have so many great moments but this one stands out to me for its ordinariness and domesticity i think. it's so quiet.

anne emerging from the water to take over a ship. fucking hell! i wish the actor who played her was in more things but also i think after playing anne bonny like this you probably might as well retire. love anne leading her people and i'd absolutely want to see more of her fighting and pirating and i love her so much.

flint murdering gates. i have a whole fascination with the intimacy of murder and they did this beautifully. i love that we understand exactly why it is happening (and i'd argue that gates should have seen this coming) and why it's a heartache and still we want to prevent it. like, it's perfect, you know. as far as murders go, it shows you each aspect exactly and you are left powerless. and i loved how much it represents a moral event horizon situation and is it possible to come back from it, and of course it's silver who even attempts to do it. it's rare in drama that a scene feels so utterly in-character for everyone and is so heartbreaking as well. excellent stuff.

honourable mentions:

'i only ever wanted you to be happy' totally unexpected and so beautiful.

vane and flint on trial in charleston. it's so funny and i may ship them a little bit.

idk if that is all of them, i haven't seen the show in a couple of years now, but i remember blogging my reactions to a friend and these were some of the things that really stood out to me.

#black sails #anne bonny #captain flint #asks #thank you for making me!

[troutpopulation]

Shaving off the beard I went through hell to grow every morning is one thing. Its keeping myself under a blanket, teeling it to hush and I'll be back to feed it when night comes. Just stay put. Just be quiet, don't let anyone see you except old friends and family. And me. I'll be back for you tonight. Plucking that beard from the roots, thinning it forever, after years of dysphoria and torture to go on T feels like burning down a house. I cried with joy when my beard connected as a young boy. I built that home with my own two hands and I lived in it. And I loved it. And it loved me. For a decade I fought for this house and it fought for me back. And when the wax heats up I am lighting a match.

I mistook my indifference with how others percieve me and my curiosity for how fun and exciting femininity is for a fulltime commitment. I based the rest of my life around it. I found the man of my dreams who looks at me and sees a girl he loves and cherishes. And he cares for the boy I was, he kisses my stubble and shivers with delight at the sound of my deep voice and revels in the size of my tdick- or clit now. (Or always has been.) But he loves me as a woman.

When the world looks at me, sometimes a person catches a glimpse of my 5 o clock shadow or the bass in my voice and think "something happened here". I am a girl, tilted to an angle, adjusted to the left, an odd flavor, but a girl. I used to never need to explain my proximity to masculinity, to queerness. It was evident, a constant. A tomboy child to butch and boy and butch again. Gone femme, gone incognito, gone silent. I revelled in the anonymity. Straight passing. I loved that. The weight was off my shoulders, the eyes were off my skin. And I don't miss being stared at. I don't really know what I miss. Not T, I got what I wanted and kept what I needed. I don't want to be a man, I'm around them enough to not want any part of that again. I think I found myself through my transition, and I am scared of losing myself. When they see a woman I have no time to say "wait, something DID happen here" and tell them I've lived a thousand lives and was so many other people just to go back to square one because I thought since it didn't matter to me, I'd take the easiest option, the one that made people be the nicest to me, the one where transphobia was something I could ally against instead of bear the weight of it on my back every second I breathe. and yes! Maybe it makes me feel stupid to think I found an easy way out only to regret it! And maybe it was fun to learn to be a girl! Transition twice and watch my body go through a third puberty! I'm not allowed to say it, I know it. It was fun to progress and go, go forward, as much as I hated it, learning everything the other girls already knew.

I suppose I just wish all that struggle showed like it used to. I have done twice the work with nothing to show for it.

Overall, all that time, all that struggle. Just for net zero.

#detransition #detrans #writing #ok to rb if you relate #nonbinary #gender experiences ig #queer

[illegiblehandwriting1]

Tuesday April Fourth, Two-thousand-twenty-three

TAFT day. idk what that even means fdajklavneroi-

It feels like a "bully Sky" day

---

Sky: Tomorrow's garbage day. Shadow: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.

---

ch4 Sky: You don't know anything about me! Shadow: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

---

Sky: Do I least have a chance to explain myself? Shadow: This is America, so nope! Sky: This isn't America, this is OHIO!

---

Sky: A decision had to be made. Shadow: And you fucked it up!

---

Shadow, about Sky: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

---

Shadow, to Sky: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

---

Shadow: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff. Sky: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

---

Bonus because Sky will retaliate:

Shadow: If I had a face like yours, I'd put it on a wall and throw a brick at it. Sky: If I had a face like YOURS, I'd put it on a brick and throw a wall at it.

#chicken scratch #smoke & ashes #smoke & april #lu sky #lu dink #lu shadow #for everyone unfamiliar w/ s&a dink and shadow are the same #source: incorrect quote generator #lu incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #linked universe

[tennythemany]

The Talk

Alright I've been dodging the topic for months now, and I did make this tumblr account to vent it out, but let's talk about why I've stopped posting on the tenpenny account

• Burnout, Identity, Elves vs Ducks

The slow but insidious reason. I've been gposing for about 2 years when I stopped in Feb, and I've been rummaging through my glam dresser everyday to make new outfits for my Elezen. It's what I started gposing for (making cute elf glams), and why I continue to play the game.

But sometime in 2022, that changed. Tried anam for the first time. Started making my own poses. Then I got a hit post. I saw more likes and views. I saw growth, and then I got ambitious. I tried making bigger posts, I read tutorials, I leveraged on my years of knowledge on memes, and I. Made. Memes. That's when things really took off.

That's also around the time I started noticing something. If I put the duck in my posts, I'd get more likes on that post. The duck became a recurring character in my posts. But then people started caring more about the duck than the elf, replies became more about the duck, and that was something I *really* didn't want. People wanted to see the duck. I put it in when I was having a hard time coming up with new ideas. Watch the duck post get more likes than the elf posts. Watch my heart sink.

While gposing would never not be fun for me, at some point I felt like I was posting more for likes than for myself. That feeling never really went away, and so it stayed long past Feb 2023

• The GShade incident

Y'all may remember a little incident at the start of 2023 that got the ffxiv community very plus not-good mad. Not going into details, but a small outcome of that incident resulted in some tangentially related creators to be lumped into that mess.

People wanted blood, and the creators basically got cancelled out of existence along with GShade's creator. Somewhere in that firing line, someone I supported and admired was targeted, and through some *very* shallow accusations, they were hit too.

(And no, I won't be naming anyone)

That event made me realize two very important things:

Years of goodwill and hard work can be undone in a single week if people believe you to be evil

I fucking hate X (formerly twitter)

So that was it. I didn't want to continuing doing something that can forever undermine my work in the heat of the moment, and I've developed a newfound hate for twitter and the mob justice the site perpetuated.

So I left.

(But just the main account, I do whatever I want on Tenny)

• Making a joke is hard when you're sad

So most of you might know me for my memes. A large part of me is driven by the positive reception you've given me, and I'll be eternally grateful for all your support, but that changed when all the above happened.

I've been agonizing over how I feel about all this, and scrolling through X (formerly twitter) just made me feel worse. I couldn't wring a good joke out of me. I couldn't make other people laugh when I couldn't make myself laugh. I didn't *want* to make when some of the people involved were my followers either.

So I stopped.

• The ever creeping shadow of age

I'm 34 this year. I've spent a lot of time on FFXIV, and to be honest, not much else. I don't have a significant other, and I don't do anything but play video games and occasionally hang out with friends for tabletop games. I've got a few projects outside of gposing, but they've been dead in the water for years.

Gposing and making memes take time. It's about 2-3 hours on average to make one, and that's if I already have a set piece ready. It's another hour to look around locations in-game, or who knows how many hours if I'm building my own. Because of work, that sometimes means I have to gpose late at night. Because of gaming, that means I *always* have to gpose late at night. I've been gposing late till 1-3am consistently in 2022, and my sleep schedule is all out of whack because of it.

I *really* don't want gposing to be my legacy.

Gposing comes to me at an opportunity cost. I've still got a few good years left in me, but at some point I need to start thinking about what I want to do, be it saving for retirement, pursuing a passion I've been putting off, or just any plan for the future at all. Maybe I'll finally put my gamedev knowledge to use, maybe I'll delve into the VR scene, maybe I'll learn how to make videos like the young me always wanted to.

But that meant I need to put less time into gposing.

So, the events of the points above was a good opportunity for me to suspend my activities and give myself some time to think about what I want to do in the future. It was clear I needed a break, and I needed a clear head to think things through. Come up with my five-year plan, so to speak. I'm thinking hard about what I want to do in the future.

I'm thinking real hard.

*Real* hard.

(Don't look at my playtime for Armored Core 6)

• Wow, video games are becoming really fun

I don't doubt ffxiv will be my forever game, and I'm glad YoshiP and team have made it so you don't have to play everyday, but holy hell have you seen how many good games have come out over the last 6 years I can't be playing ffxiv all the time you can't make me

Ehem.

Before gposing, video games will always be my main hobby. I have a vested interest in where video games are going, and ho boy are they getting interesting. I can't keep up with all the new terms we're coming up for them, from systemic games to survivor-likes, to Genshin clones being a thing. It's just an ever-changing landscape.

VR gaming is real, we're actually getting a full game from full-priced games, you don't even need to buy individual games anymore, you can play them on a game streaming service, and it's easier to make your own games now more than ever.

Just, wow.

I'd really like to experience all that for myself, so for the past 7 months, I've been playing other games.

A *lot* of other games.

And the biggest thing I've learned through all that is there's a vast and much wider world out there than just the ffxiv community and oh my god what the fuck is the gaming community outside of ffxiv why is it so toxic i can't even-

I'll still be playing ffxiv. Just a lot less. Some things are just irreplacable, y'know?

So there, if you've been wondering where I've been (or where all the memes are), that's the long and long of it. Thanks for reading, and I hope that gives you a sense of where I'm at. Hopefully that covers everything, so-

• CRIPPLING IMPOSTOR SYNDROME

Oh yeah, that.

Wow, I don't know how to tell you guys this, but I am inside a self-deprecating piece of shit who when exposed to other people's work would inadvertently compare myself to them and conclude that "wow, I'm garbage".

It's no secret that I have had no formal art training, or even photography training, or even gposing training if that's a thing, a lot of what I do is self-taught. Just years of trial and error, and mimicking scenes from shows or comic panels I've seen, but I don't have any technical knowledge to know if a picture is 'right' or not. Color theory is completely alien to me before I started learning about them, I was gposing with a blue light filter so everything looked yellow on my end. I don't use mods, so I had to rely on the default models for everything I do. Let's not even talk about photoshop.

And over the years, I've been looking for gpose communities to share my work and see what other people are cooking up. I see it all. Better composition, better colors, better post processing, better poses, better backgrounds, better editing, better...everything. In my mind, everything just looks better than anything I could have done. I know I shouldn't let that get to me, but, y'know

So part of me wanted a smaller audience, somewhere I could curl up in without needing to think to myself 'oh god 3000 people are going to see this post' and think insane things like 'this isn't a 100-likes post' or whatnot. Creator thoughts. Insane thoughts. It was driving me insane.

Some part of me just wanted to post elves. The other part wouldn't 'just' let me post elves. It had to live up to what I've done before, it had to be perfect.

Now I just want to post elves.

• Final (fantasy) thoughts

So barring that last point, that's the thick and thin of it. If you read this far, then wow maybe my composition skills haven't fallen off a cliff just yet. Thank you for reading my jumbled stream of consciousness, and while Tenpenny might not be around anymore, Tenny's always around to talk about elves.

This is me, this post is about why Tenpenny is dead, and this is why I've stepped away from making memes regularly, and content creation in general.

Elezen cute.

.

.

.

Also FUCK the X (formerly Twitter) word limit, I've always hated it omg

[ga-yuu]

[Tail On Instinct - What If I Were A (Horny!) Cat] - Yasuchika Story

On my way home from a house call, I treated an injured cat demon---

My kindness backfired, and I was transformed into a cat,

He thought turning me into a cat would be a great act of gratitude because 'Cats are cute.'

(I don't think I want to be a cat. I never thought once in my life I'd actually turn into a cat...)

For the time being, I was able to return to Yasuchika-san's mansion but now I'm hiding under the bridge.

(What am I supposed to do?... Yasuchika-san is allergic to cats)

(However, I can't stay like this forever...what should I do?)

At that moment, a shadow appeared, blocking the sunlight that was shining in.

Yasuchika: "Playing hide and seek in a place like this?"

(Yasuchika-san!?)

All the hairs on my body stood up as I was startled by the sudden appearance of Yasuchika.

Yasuchika: "Sorry sorry. Did I surprise you? I didn't mean to do that."

(Woah...)

His long hands easily picked me up.

When I noticed that he was not sneezing like usual when he touched a cat, I assumed that he used some kind of Onmyoji spells on him. (Just make him a god at this point! This guy can do anything...and if he could do it then why not do it all the time when he wants to pat a cat!)

Yasuchika: "You're Yoshino-san, right?"

(He already noticed! As expected of you, Yasuchika-san)

(Yes! It's me, Yoshino!)

I replied with a 'meow' and he nods his head too.

Yasuchika: "There there. It's alright. I'm here now."

Yasuchika: "How about we go inside and talk."

......

When he brought me to his room....

The very next moment, I felt my body heating up and I returned to my human form.

Yoshino: "Thank god! I'm back..!"

I was almost about to jump with joy but I noticed a long tail extending from my waist.

Yoshino: "Why!?"

Yasuchika: "Also, you still have cat ears."

Yoshino: "! No way...!"

When I touched the top of my head, I feel fluffy triangular ears.

(Looks like the spell on me was only solved halfway through..but before that)

Yoshino: "Thank you, Yasuchika-san...for helping me earlier even though you're allergic to cats..."

Yasuchika: "I think you should worry about yourself first."

Yasuchika: "So what happened?"

Yoshino: "Well..."

We sat down and explained to Yasuchika-san how he had turned into a cat.

Yasuchika: "I see. What an interesting ideology that demon has."

Yasuchika: "If he had done that to me, I'd put a hair-loss spell on him or something!"

Yoshino: "That poor thing...please don't do something like that!"

Yasuchika: "If you say so."

Yasuchika: "Anyways, don't worry. You will return back to normal in no time."

Yoshino: "Really?"

Yasuchika: "Yeah, judging from the magic spell that was casted on you, that demon is not that powerful."

(He already sensed that too..as expected of the genius Onmyoji)

Yasuchika: "But still....if all cats were like Yoshino-san, they'd be so cute."

Yasuchika: "Hey, can I touch your ears?"

Yoshino: "Ah, yes. Go ahead."

Yasuchika-san was surprisingly interested, reaching for the fluffy ear.

Yasuchika: "Wow...so this what cat ears feels like."

Yasuchika: "Soft and squishy...strange."

(He seems interested, but his hand movements feel awkward...)

(Probably because he's not used to touching cats)

Yasuchika: "Yoshino..paw!"

Yoshino: "Why? I'm not a dog."

Yasuchika: "Aww, that's a pity."

(Woah...)

He laughs and hugs my waist.

He makes me sit on his lap and holds me from behind.

Yasuchika: "I'm not used to patting cats. So can you teach me how to pat a cat?"

Yoshino: "Well.. cats like it when you scratch under their chin."

Yasuchika: "Oh? You mean like this?"

His long fingers tickle and stroke the area under my chin.

(Mm....)

The touch was unexpectedly pleasant and I found myself entranced and closing my eyes.

(Oh..I feel so sensitive...It feels good)

Yasuchika: "You look like you're melting just from this...you love this so much, don't you?"

Yasuchika: "What next? Where and how do you want me to touch you?"

In a happy mood, he pecks my lip.

Yoshino: "...I also like to have my back and waist stroked."

Yasuchika: "Sure."

He flipped my body and made me sit facing him on his lap.

(Mm..Mmmm...)

He gently rubbed my back up and down gently and a sweet numbness runs up.

Seeing me twisting my body with pleasure, Yasuchika-san giggles.

Yasuchika: "I'm just lightly rubbing your back and you're already looking like this. How amazing."

Yasuchika: "I thought I'd never understand, but maybe just a little bit I now I understand why people love cats."

Yoshino: "..Mmm..Yasuchika-san..."

I take his hands that were rubbing my back and guided it to my waist.

Yoshino: "Here, slap me here..."

Yasuchika: "How can I refuse such a lovely request?"

He gently tapped my waist and rubbed them gently.

Yoshino: "Umm...more.."

Yasuchika: "Do you prefer to be slapped hard? Such a selfish kitty."

With a happy smile, Yasuchika-san does what I asked for...

(He's not touching me directly...)

In the midst of blurring consciousness, the desire to be touched more comes up...

Yasuchika: "Raise your head, Yoshino-san?"

Yoshino: "Mm..."

I lost my patience with that kiss and took my own lips even deeper.

Yasuchika: "You're hornier than usual...is it because you're a cat now?"

In the midst of the kiss, he untied my obi sash and loosened my kimono.

Yoshino: "Yasuchika-san, hurry..."

Yasuchika: "Don't be in a hurry, it's all right..."

(Ah....)

The moment he buried his face in my breasts, I felt the ears on my head twitch and quiver.

Yasuchika: "Greedy, impatient...a cute kitty who loves to feel good."

Yasuchika: "Until you're satisfied, I'll take care of you."

#ikemen series #ikemen genjiden #ikemen genjiden yasuchika #ikemen mc #otome #cybird #cybird ikemen #cybird otome

[aristocratic-otter]

Hello everyone!

It's killing me that I haven't read your excerpts for the last week; I've been on a course of medicine for all of that time and the side effects are annoying; they leave me unable to sleep and simultaneously unable to focus. So I've got all of your lovely work saved for when I finally recover from my treatment!

But I've got some words to share, so I'll put them out there and thank you all for tagging me:

Thank you to @fatalfangirl, @tea-brigade, @larkral, @j-nipper-95, @nightimedreamersghost, @confused-bi-queer, @moodandmist, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @shrekgogurt, @thewholelemon, @basiltonbutliketheherb, @johnwgrey, @facewithoutheart, @artsyunderstudy, @hushed-chorus, @palimpsessed, and @whatevertheweather

Shares under the break

From my EGF fic, appropriately titled 'Double Your Pleasure,'

Baz closes his eyes and focuses hard on his words. “Double Your Pleasure,” he speaks, and I can feel the hum of his magic in the words. 

There’s a muffled popping noise and a faint odour of brimstone, and suddenly, I’m staring into the startled eyes of…myself?

From Saving Simon Snow:

If the performance of the ritual wasn’t striking, the actual effect of it was, extremely so. The moment I spoke magic into the ritual words, Simon and Baz went rigid. Their hands, clasped for the ceremony, broke apart and they each jumped back and stared. 

“So much pain…” Baz says, almost inaudibly. Then, louder, “How can you bear it, Snow?”

Simultaneously, Simon says, “Why are you feeling so terrified, Baz? You’re the one that forced us into this!”

“Wait…” I look between the two. Simon’s face is shadowed, but I don’t particularly see signs of pain in it. And Basil looks sad, but not scared. How are they—

“You could feel each other?” I stare, aghast, as the puzzle pieces click together in my mind. “How? That’s not part of the spell, is it?”

Just a tease from Westward Son:

I cast “As You Were,” and drop to my knees with a gasp, feeling absolutely drained; magickally, physically and sexually. Simon teeters in place for a moment and then falls to his side without even trying to catch himself.

And a slightly longer tease from Raising Dragons:

Simon’s obedient, fortunately. For him, I mean. I’d rather have enjoyed punishing him for disobedience, actually 

I wriggle my purchase free from its plastic prison and then give it an experimental stretch. It pops back into shape loudly, with a sound like a waistband being snapped. Simon jumps, and I see his eyelids quiver, but he keeps them closed. I smile. Good.

And a longer bit from The White Chapel, which I'm thinking will not be my COTTA after all, because it's almost done, and I'd rather not wait a year to post it, lol. But now I'm thinking of an American Revolution AU, with tory Baz and rebel Simon 😉

Simon looks devastated at my attack, and I feel a pang of regret. But he rallies to answer me, looking so bright and beautiful in his pain and courage. “I don’t know,” he admits softly. “This hasn’t ever happened before. Not in all the centuries I’ve been alive.”

I turn my back to him. I refuse to countenance this lunacy, even if I can’t quite suppress a shiver at the word ‘centuries’. “Well it did happen,” I say, my voice jagged, speaking to the wall in front of me. 

Simon’s response comes as if it’s travelling down a long tunnel to get to me. “I love you, Baz. I’ll love you forever…” His words seem to trail off as his voice becomes more distant. There’s an odd note of finality in it. 

In sudden terror, I spin back to face him. He’s still there, but less than he was before. He’s an outline, a Simon-shape made of glowing light. 

And finally, from my House AU, which now has a title! To Heal a Broken Mind:

We’re silent in the elevator together. Baz does live on the top floor, it turns out. So his flat is probably one of the most expensive here. I scowl. He probably lives in a fucking home of the future, with everything white and sterile and powered by artificial intelligence or something. I don’t think I could bear that kind of atmosphere for sixteen hours a day. Those days I spent in the hospital were miserable enough, and they weren’t helped by the fact that all I had to look at day in and day out were white walls, white sheets, white pillows. White white white. 

So, as if six WIPs weren't enough...I just got an idea for this year's COBB. No teasers, yet, I don't want to give any hints to the potential artists, but it's a genre I've always wanted to try!

Happy mid-week to you all!

Tags and 😘 to everyone linked above and also to @angelsfalling16; @bazzybelle, @bookish-bogwitch, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @dragoneggos, @erzbethluna, @fight-surrender, @giishu, @ionlydrinkhotwater, @ileadacharmedlife, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @frjsti, @jbrrring, @jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists, @krisrix, @letraspal, @mostlymaudlin, @otherworldsivelivedin, @onepintobean, @prettylightsbigcity, @raenestee, @theearlgreymage, @technetiumai, @takitalks, @urban-sith, @whogaveyoupermission, @cutestkilla, @yellobb-old

#Cotta 2023 spoiler #dragon babies #House AU #Canon divergence #Forced marriage au #cotta 2021 #egf2023 #Oregon trail au #simon snow series #snowbaz #wip wednesday #co/ws/awtwb #Cobb 2023

[auncyen]

WIP List meme!

Tagged by @bad0mens, tagging @nautilusopus, @cateringisalie, and @darrelodin

Actively Working On (for a certain value of working on...I'm going to say wips I've touched recently lol)

Sneaky Santa fic it's partikari. I can say that without giving away who I got LOL

In Stars and Time Isabeau's First Impression of Sif this is mostly stalled in that it's just a character piece and idk like. I don't have a way of making it interesting yet.

In Stars and Time Alt Act 5 SO. I wrote an alternate scene for act 5 about a week or so ago I think? and I wasn't sure how to continue it but that sure has been floating in my brain now. without spoilering act 5 is the climax of ISAT so it'd basically be exploring a different way for things to hit a climax and how that might play out. I STILL DON'T KNOW IF I WANNA DO THIS AS A FIC, PARTIALLY BECAUSE I AM TAKING COLLEGE COURSES ATM BUT ALSO I WANNA GO BACK TO...

Backburnered Fics

Speaking of fics floating in my brain for a long time.

When the Cat Dragged In the Trickster-p5, au where Ann is the leader and the PT only know Ren as the delinquent transfer student who keeps getting falsely flagged on the Phansite until Morgana runs away and teams up with him. it feels like this fic is going to haunt me until I die or it gets finished LMFAO I haven't had any new p5 fic ideas recently, this 100% is what I'd be going back to writing in the fandom for if I do. Why has it been stalled forever? I hyped the next chapter up too much for myself. What other fic did I do that with?

Overcast. This is a mostly canon-compliant (I'm pulling a little timeline fuckery with crossed paths so the group has a half-sane itinerary) OT2 fic mostly exploring Hikari and Castti through each other's eyes. It started as Castti-through-Hikari but then I suddenly got an idea in the Timberain chapter and was like "NOW HIKARI". the problem: I feel like I have to do something really big with Hikari's Shadow besides what happens in canon and I'm not quite sure what that is. Like yes, he's having more trouble with it and I have one idea for how Castti might react to it, but...hrm. HRM.

Doubt Before Dawn. OT2, slight au during the Journey to Dawn chapter where Temenos' good intentions pave the way to hell. ...Okay they were mixed intentions but he didn't mean to hurt Throne. I think this is probably the backburnered fic I should go back to first even though/because it's the one I'm least "hyped" about because it is fairly straightforward in what it needs (just one more chapter).

#writing #meme

[catboyclarity]

Rules: shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people.

Blumenkranz - Hiroyuki Sawano. Friend showed me Kill La Kill couple months ago, all of the music on it slaps but this one slaps the hardest 10/10

Spring/Sun/Winter/Dread - Everything Everything. Every single song off of Get To Heaven is an absolute banger I could listen on on repeat forever and I guess this one was the flavor of the week most recently.

Ravens - Mount Eerie. FOR A LIKE MONTH AND A HALF STRETCH THIS INCREDIBLY SAD AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL SONG ABOUT THIS GUYS WIFE DYING WAS LITERALLY THE ONLY SONG THAT WOULD MAKE ME CALM DOWN. I highly recommend A Crow Looked At Me if you're in the mood to be devestated.

The Predatory Wasp Of The Palisades Is Out To Get Us! - Sufjan Stevens. Long time fav I've been revisiting because I just did a Sufjan deep dive. It is such a beautiful song and gets me in my feelings bad even though nothing like this ever happened to me.

No Shade In The Shadow Of The Cross - Sufjan Stevens. Again my Sufjan deep dive strikes. This one is short so its easy to get a lot of loops in. Obsessed with "Like a champion, get drunk to get laid/I take one more hit when you depart" as a lyric.

The Hills - The Weeknd. It fucks. Sorry!

All For Myself - Sufjan Stevens. SHUFFLE DOES NOT NEED TO BE DOING ME LIKE THIS. This song is about sloppy gay sex for sure.

Smear The Queen - Xiu Xiu. I think this is like my currently most listened to song on Spotify which I'd believe. Fav song for me to listen to and think about The Trauma cuz it doesn't get me TOO upset but is very resonant.

1111 - Ramesh. I just like it. It makes me think about my catboy OC.

Ontario Gothic - Foxes in Fiction. Another long time fav, just one of the most beautiful songs ever written IMO.

I'm not tagging 10 people but uhhhh @calronhunt @doggerell @egopoiesis @captnumbers @vividbeast @wolvesandvisions @ogerpon @squinkus if yall want

[unhingedselfships]

KimiKura Pining Phase Playlist

You - The Pretty Reckless “You don't want me, no You don't need me Like I want you, oh Like I need you And I want you in my life”

Wicked Games - Chris Isaak (Ursine Vulpine cover) “What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you”

Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls “And I'd give up forever to touch you 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life And sooner or later, it's over I just don't wanna miss you tonight”

Hallucinations - PVRIS “I always thought we'd have another life Dancing alone Left in shadows I paint you in the corner of my mind Pull the colors from the rays of light

Close my eyes, I can't erase you

Hallucinations, you occupy My imagination's running wild”

10AM Gare du Nord - Keaton Henson “My endless distraction, you worry me But I'm trying to figure out how You don't have to make any promises love I'm afraid I might die for you now”

Dead in the Water - Ellie Goulding “If I was not myself And you were someone else I'd say so much to you And I would tell the truth

Cause I can hardly breathe When your hands let go of me The ice is thinning out And my feet brace themselves”

Until the Levee - Joy Williams “I'm gonna wait out past the shadows And breathe the bitter taste I'm gonna drink the lonely down, the lonely down Let the current take me over Let the ruin turn to white I can feel it all around, all around

I'm gonna stand I'm gonna stand here in the ache, until the levee Until the levee on my heart breaks”

Just Pretend - Bad Omens “I can wait for you at the bottom I can stay away if you want me to I could wait for years if I gotta Heaven knows I ain't getting over you

We'll try again When we're not so different We will make amends Till then I'll just pretend”

Sudden Desire - Hayley Williams “I wanted him to kiss me how With open mouth, an open mouth We keep our distance now I wanna feel his hand go down I try not to think about What happened last night outside his house Too far to go back now”

It’s All Your Fault - P!nk “It's all your fault You called me beautiful You turned me out And now I can't turn back I hold my breath Because you were perfect But I'm running out of air And it's not fair”

Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy “Goodbye, my almost lover Goodbye, my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance My back is turned on you Should've known you'd bring me heartache Almost lovers always do”

Monster - Meg Myers “I gotta know that your heart beats fast and I gotta know I'm the only one for you What have I become? I'm a fucking monster When all I wanted was something beautiful

My love too much Your love not enough”

affection - BETWEEN FRIENDS “You're taking what you want right from me Wrapped up in so much life, it's just the way you hold me You're picking miscellaneously Wrapped up in all the choices you're not giving to me

I'm laying on the floor We're drinking 'cause we're bored”

All I Wanted - Paramore “I could follow you to the beginning Just to relive the start And maybe then we'd remember to slow down At all of our favorite parts

All I wanted was you”

He Wants Me Not - Vukovi “Bring you in I know I can't win But your heart don't belong to me And you don't want me then you want me I'm praying for your beating for your Aching for your heart, heart, heart”

Out of My League - Fitz and the Tantrums “'Cause you were out of my league All the things I believed You were just the right kind Yeah, you were more than just a dream You were out of my league Got my heartbeat racing If I die, don't wake me 'Cause you are more than just a dream”

The Trouble With Wanting - Joy Williams “Always on my mind Always alone You could be miles and miles away But somehow you're close

If I can't have the cake And I can't eat it too I guess the sound of your voice and the ache It'll just have to do”

To Die For - Sam Smith “I long for you Just a touch Of your hand You don't leave my mind Lonely days, I'm feeling Like a fool for dreaming”

DYWTYLM - Sleep Token "Do you roll with the waves? Or do you duck into deep blue safety? Is it always the same? Do you wish that you loved me? Do you pull at the chains? Or do you push into constant aching? Each and every day Do you wish that you loved me?"

I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys (Sofia Karlberg Cover) I wanna be your setting lotion Hold your hair in deep devotion At least as deep as the Pacific Ocean Now I wanna be yours

Secrets I have held in my heart Are harder to hide than I thought Maybe I just wanna be yours”

#yakkimi #kimikura #playlist