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starilianreads · 1 month

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Who you think you're v/s

who you really are!

Hello everyone!! As I said, I'm back with my tarot reading! And I'll keep uploading pacs every Saturday and Sundays, so keep in tune with me!!

You already know what the topic is so let's get straight into it!🥠☺️

🔴Disclaimer

English is not my first language so sorry for any grammatical mistakes

Take what resonates and leave what doesn't not everything is meant for you

It is solely based on my intuition:))

Pictures are generated from AI

Let's get started!!

Pile 1-> pile 2

Pile 3->pile 4

Pile 1

Hii pile 1! Here's your reading! First let's see who you think you're.

The hermit, temperance, the emperor, pow,pop,4os

Okay, you think yourself as you're the main character of the story, which is definitely a good thing, I don't sense anything like you downplay yourself or something, I just can sense that you think you're very humble, and like a lifelong student, but you have control of your life in your own hands. You don't want anyone else to control you. You think you're childish, and like live the life to the fullest, full of passion, motivation and enthusiasm. It's likely that you're maybe just about to start your adult life now. Like you're young adult maybe. But one thing for sure, you think that you're an introverted person and you don't want just anyone to come into your life unnecessarily. You know yourself so well pile no.1! Proud of you! Lol! I think it's what you feel for yourself! You think of your journey in a very proud way, no matter whatever you've gone through, you're always like "see how far I've come!" I'm getting star card energy. You're possibly a fire sign, or have Jupiter, sun influence in your chart a lot! Lol. You also love to self-care, like you do love yourself, and that's a good thing! I'm also getting like you want major independence, you don't want to depend on anyone, emotionally, mentally, physically, materially. You have to independent!! That's why, maybe you take care of yourself a lot, and like always love yourself as the way you wish others would do as well. Maybe more then that, you take rest whenever you need, and work for your own happiness. Is what you think of yourself you are.✨

Now let's see who you really are

Qoc,the sun,9op,10ow,6op,aop

Yk your worth pile 1, you actually know yourself quite well! Now I proud of you as well! You're actually the life of the party! Who live their life to the fullest, not just for show, but for themselves. Idk I'm getting Taylor swifts energy somehow, especially I'm getting a channeled song for you of her, I'll pin down after this reading. You help others for your happiness, you wear good clothes, that make "you" feel good, you style yourself to make "yourself" feel good. And you want nothing else. And no you're not self-obsessed you're just in love with yourself! You are just so optimistic about yourself and your life, that you really feel like a main character to me!! I'm sensing hyper independence. Yes, you actually want to independent in every fuckin way! You're actually childish, but not naive, you know when to act mature and when to be silly.. and most importantly yk your worth! That's what matters the most! Ig universe helps you a lot as well, and I'm feeling that you're really hard-working as well, that you definitely reap what you've sown, equally. And it's like all things are balanced and yk how to balance things in your life as well! You're whole package pile 1!! I'm exactly sensing fire and somewhat air energies, you're a one maybe. You're very emotionally mature that's what I have to say in last! Like you're actually mature for your age honestly.

Thank you so much pile 1 for being here!! I appreciate your efforts and time here! Thanks a lot! Please lemme know if you enjoyed this reading and any other topic if you have. Subscribe to my PATREON and DM me for paid readings:)💕

Pile 2

Hii pile 2! Welcome to your reading so let's see first who you think you're.

Koc,the star, the hanged man, 7ow, 5os,6ow

Okay, so pile 2, I think that you think of yourself as a misunderstood person, like people misunderstood you a lot, and you have to defend yourself every time, and there are less or no people by your side to defend you. You're either a water sign,(cancer,Scorpio,pisces) or a Libra. Specifically I'm getting pisces energy. You are interested in astrology or astronomy.. and you think you're very spritual and emotionally mature. You also think of yourself as a deep individual and you're able to make deep connections with people as per your thinking. You have very different notions of success and fame, like you think very differently and like outside the box, I'm getting so much cosmic energy from you? Idk why. Your mind is more in the things you believe rather then thinking about your material gains and stuff, it's like someone is probably a daydreamer, and like want to be famous for more of what they think, and what they do, instead of the money they gain, or like a billionaire, I mean, rather then being famous for being a billionaire you will be much happy being famous as a life coach or spritual guru more. You're probably philosophical in nature, is what you think. You want to keep everyone together, you like unity like Libras.

Now let's see who you really are

Aos,the magician, the sun, 4os,kos,5ow

Yeah pile 2, you think of yourself right, here we have 2 situations either you don't show yourself much, like you're always kind of behind the scenes, and like don't trust much, and don't show who you really are, which causes misunderstanding or you are just very straight to the point,logical and honest af, which causes you to be in controversies. Yeah you deal with controversies. But when I was shuffling I was getting earth angel vibes, and you're an earth angel with the magician in the conjunction with the sun, and ace of swords. It's like you're honest nature is the biggest blessing in disguise? And like that's what leads people in the right direction, it's possible that you're kind of inexperienced in terms of worldly things, and so you're pure and genuine, and you maybe don't know how to present things, and that's why people kind of misunderstand you, but they know deep down, that what you've said, was right, and you're not wrong, but their ego kind of disagree with it, because of that they disagree with you, it's just their own projections. Yeah you're an earth angel, and really like guide people, and because of the misunderstandings there are some issues build up inside, and that's why now you have either hard time trusting people, or like only show things which are kind of acceptable. Idk it's just I'm channeling that the magical side is still hidden from other's and you only know that side of yours. Okay I've to stop now, because I'm channeling so much, but it's like it's getting out of the topic soo😅 yeah!

Thank you so much pile 2 for being here!! I appreciate your efforts and time here! Thanks a lot! Please lemme know if you enjoyed this reading and any other topic if you have. Subscribe to my PATREON and DM me for paid readings:)💕

Pile 3

Hii pile 3! And welcome to your reading! Let's see who you think you're first.

The star, the death, knight of wands, 3op,2oc,10op

I think you should check out pile 2 as well, the energies are so similar. Yeah, it's so similar? Should I do it again? Wait lemme interpret it. Hmmmmm... So pile 3, you are kind of transformative person, yk that you'll change, and you do change. You think that you're someone not afraid of change anymore and see change as the way and opportunity to grow and nourish yourself. I'm getting Scorpio/Pluto vibes here. You think that you're very charming and get love offers easily. It's like you are very invested in material things, but you take everything so seriously. Like career, relationships, these are some important parts of our life, and our needs and you take this so seriously? Idk I'm getting very serious vibes here. You can able to balance things out as well real quick, like you can equally give time to your family and loved ones, and then equal time to your career as well. That's what you think of yourself. Great pile 3. But I'm getting Jupiter in Scorpio vibes. You're either interested in occult science, or most of the time you keep your information private. You're straightforward, but want to keep everyone together. You should definitely check pile 2 as well like I'm strongly getting their vibes but more in a scorpionic or more forced way, idk how to interpret it, but just do check it out please.

Now let's see who you really are

3ow, the moon, knight of pentacles, 3os,8os,7os

You're unable to see yourself clearly pile 3😅 idk why, but this is the 1st pile who's like stuck in its own delusion, not that one with the change. But it's like you have so many insecurities from past hurt, and you're not properly healed from it, and there's something about is which is not right yk. You maybe project your insecurities on others, or like a Little naive in day to day basis, you might self sabotage a yourself, but you have a strong intuition and patience about things , you're able to surrender things to God, which is the most beautiful thing about you. You're kind of visionary and know when to do what. But the thing is, you're having a hard time trusting your intuition. And you're doing stuff out of that pain, I'm not getting anything else instead. I'm just channeling this energy of being stuck at something. You definitely need some self-work/love and care. You do have a "need" to do inner work. Then things will be more better. And because of this your true self in unable to come out, and like I feel like in a cage of some sort while doing your reading, I have a hard time expressing myself. Major advice, work on yourself.

Thank you so much pile 3 for being here!! I appreciate your efforts and time here! Thanks a lot! Please lemme know if you enjoyed this reading and any other topic if you have. Subscribe to my PATREON and DM me for paid readings:)💕

Pile 4

Hii pile 4! Welcome to your reading! Let's see who you think you're.

2os, the high priestess, 9ow,AOC, 10oc, 10ow,10op,the hermit.

Okay, this pile already know to some extent that who they're, and in this time of life, you are completed a major cycle of your life! With the 10 being 3 times here!! Or 10 is something significant for you! This pile has done the necessary inner work (it does not mean you don't have to do now, it's an endless journey, but the thing is, you're not in a immature state now) okay, you think you're someone introverted, knowledgeable, spritual, awakened,but kind of indecisive, individual. Ig Idk why I'm getting that you downplay yourself with the 2os, even you already know your potiential. Okay so maybe you downplay yourself in front of others? I'm getting that 48 laws of power, where they say in one of their quote that don't show your happiness and power in front of others, like something like that? I'm getting dark feminine vibes from you.so maybe that's what you think of yourself. 1,2,and 9 number is also significant for you in some way. You're currently working on yourself as well. Idk I'm just channeling some images, like coffee, books, emo aesthetic, cat eyeliner and so on.. with the 10,10,10 being here, I'm channeling some kind of inspirational story from you, there's something about your life, that you think is inspiring from other's around you, it's maybe a success story of yours you made, because of the passion and motivation you have inside.

Let's see who you really are

The emperor, Qow,Qop, 10ow,6os,5os

While shuffling, I was getting like influencer vibes from you, and so you might be working on a field where you can influence others, with the skills or talents you have, and see we have 2 queens! With the emperor! You're definitely working on a field, I'm getting entertainment industry, but it can be literally anything, it can be a business as well, with the Qop and the emperor, but one thing for sure, whatever you're doing, you'll gonna do it so well! Okay, now you're someone,who Is so charming, elegant, bubbly, very giving, and abundant individual! Idk I'm feeling like your spritual team is so proud of you! And you definitely have a success story of yours, that do inspire others! Because I'm feeling inspired and inspirational with your energy, it's like something significant happened in your past, but instead of seeing yourself as a victim of it, you've take your responsibility and moved one, and then worked on yourself healed yourself, and finally, you are here where you're currently! And like for eg, if someone challenged you, you shown them your power! And who you are! You're literally someone not to be messed up. You're empowering!! Pile 4!!

Yeah this was it! Here's the reading! Lemme know if you liked it, and suggest me some more topics if you want to! Thank you so much for being here🦋✨

#tarot card reading #tarot reading #tarot deck #tarot #tarot cards #tarot pac #tarotcommunity #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a card #pick one #pac #tarotblr #tarot blog #tarot beginner #Spotify

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eyelessfaces · 5 days

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uncalled for

summary: you get quite upset when poe "saves" your assigned mission by giving orders to your teams without consulting you; poe is determined to fix his mistake.

warnings: (public) arguing, talks of the future; family and having kids

tags: gn!reader, angst, being parents to bb8, fluff, this ends up being real sweet tbh

word count: 1.7k

masterlist | taglist | ao3

updates blog: @eyelessupdates

(uh yeah I'm back if you even noticed I was gone lol. I might just post this and disappear again for a little longer idk but anyways I'll explain the reason whenever I'm back for good; I'm okay don't worry, and I'm still gonna post fics don't worry it's nothing too serious fr)

It causes a disruption when you both barge into the hangar; despite the constant clattering and whirring of tools and material there, both your bitter shoutings have been overlapping the sounds ever since Poe started following you closely, right from the moment you hastily jumped out of your x wing to try to forget about the awful management of your mission that would probably cost you to never get to lead one again.

“It was my call, not yours” you affirm bitterly, voice dripping with resentment, your steps heavy and hurried as you try to shake Poe off but he is anything if not persevering, so it only manages to piss you off even more and fuel your frustration. “I didn’t need you to save my mission or whatever,” you exclaim, causing heads to turn as you walk across the large room, barely minding what is going on around you.

“I did because I knew it would work!” Poe tries to explain, still heeling you closely. “I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t sure it would be successful” he declares louder than he needs to, thrown off when you suddenly stop in your steps, turning to him.

“So you think you can make decisions for me? You think I can’t do it, can’t command a mission correctly?” you rhetorically ask, revolted, sighing a profanity under your breath before you storm off again, your steps resonating with frustration. Poe sighs and winces before he follows you again, taking a hold of your arm.

“Babe come on you know that’s not–”

You stop again, your patience running short. “You had no right to encroach on my orders, I knew what I had to do, and you stepping in with your own instructions could have blown the whole mission up!” you call out, pressing a finger to his chest.

It’s when you finally take a moment to take a look at his face that you realize it, what is going on; you are being the center of attention, the little show everyone stopped their current task to sit and watch, your every word carefully awaited by your unwanted audience.

You sigh softly, taking a moment to step back from the situation. “Now leave me alone before we embarrass ourselves further or before I tell you things I don’t really mean just because I’m angry and don’t wanna talk to you” you hiss softly before leaving Poe in the middle of the busy room where he watches you walk away, helplessly standing there.

When he looks around him, most people turn away and avert their gazes to pretend they haven’t witnessed anything, and Poe is well too aware of the tension still lingering in the air even as you exit the room.

When Jessika climbs down from her ladder after watching the scene from her cockpit, BB-8 rolls over to her and chirps sadly, having observed yours and Poe’s argument from afar just like most of the hangar after his master went running after you. She kneels down to the droid’s level, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“That’s gonna be fine Beebs, they always end up figuring it out somehow” she affirms as the droid’s upper part sinks in distress accompanied by saddened beeps. Jessika can’t help but smile fondly at him and his obvious concern, at the fact that he quite literally acts like you are his parents.

—

A few hours have passed when Poe joins you again; you don't notice him at first, having made sure to get focused enough on your paperwork to forget about the whole situation and try to ease the frustration within you. It's only when you put your datapad down that you see him leaning against the door frame.

“You're so pretty when you're focused” he smiles gently when your eyes meet his figure, causing you to roll your eyes and reluctantly smile at his words despite your lingering frustration.

“I’m still mad at you,” you sigh softly as you try to hide your slight smirk, gaze darting back down to enter numbers into your datapad.

He acknowledges your feelings with a nod, his lips pressed together in a tight line. “I know.” he admits, stepping into the room. “That’s why I’m here” You look back up at him, taking a deep breath as you set your datapad aside; despite the fact that everything he did since you wrapped your mission up got on your nerves, deep down you only wish for this to situation to get figured out and eventually be behind the both of you. You join him in front of your desk, leaning against it.

“I knew what I was doing. I was handling it” you affirm before he even gets the chance to do so much as open his mouth.

He holds a hand up to slow you down. “I know,” he nods understandingly. “I shouldn’t have redirected the plan, I should have trusted you. I was just afraid things would go wrong considering how it was all starting to go down so quickly” he explains. “I know I could have fucked it all up, everything you put in place so the mission could go right” you slightly tilt your head to the side in agreement.

“And I know my move was probably a lot more dangerous than the plan you had in mind to make everything right but you know I would never put you or our teams in danger, only myself” he declares with a concerned nod, causing your expression to soften. “You, never. I would never risk it, no matter what” there’s a soft frown over his face as his eyes flicker with sincerity, his confession making your heart ache as it hangs in the air before he talks again. “And I never doubted your ability to command a mission.”

You nod with a heavy sigh, acknowledging his apology. “I should apologize too. I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that either.” you admit and nod sheepishly, reflecting on your impulsive behavior. “I really wanted this mission to go right”

“For what it’s worth,” he starts with a small smile, trying to dissimulate a bigger one. “I talked about it with Leia and she thinks you did pretty good” his declaration doesn’t fail to draw an appreciative smile from you, one that makes him mirror your action. “And she thinks we would work great together”

“And I agree,” you reply, finally feeling a weight lift off your shoulders as the tension between you begins to dissipate. “We do make a good team.”

Poe’s smile widens, relieved to see you loosen up a bit. “Yeah, we do” he agrees with a small huff, stepping closer to you. “I just hate seeing you so worked up.”

You chuckle softly, shaking your head. “I hate getting worked up,” you scoff.

“I’ll try to think about it twice next time,” Poe promises, reaching out to gently take your hand in his. “I don’t want to step on your toes or make you feel like I don’t trust you or your judgment.”

Your fingers intertwine with his, the warmth of his touch calming you further. “Well I’ll try not to snap at you,” you promise in return, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze as you let your head rest against his chest with a small, barely audible sigh. “Especially not in front of everyone,” you mutter, earning an amused chuckle from him. You melt into his touch as he leans to press a gentle kiss over your forehead, his hand that is not holding yours coming to wrap around you.

It is only after you pull away from his embrace and leave a chaste kiss to his lips that the corner of your eye notices a sort of spy in the corner of the door frame.

“What’s he doing here”

Poe frowns before he turns around, huffing out a laugh when he notices BB-8 peeking out the door. “How long have you been here?” he jokingly scolds his droid that fully reveals himself now that he has been caught. “You know he doesn’t like when we fight” he softly sighs turning back to you, a mix of amusement and concern in his eyes before he looks at BB rolling over the both of you.

You shake your head, unable to suppress your smile at BB-8’s presence. “Very sweet of him to be looking out for us,” you start, reaching out to pat the droid’s dome affectionately. “But maybe he should learn not to eavesdrop.”

BB-8 chirps playfully, obviously pleased with the attention, seemingly eager to be a part of the reconciliation.

Poe chuckles, kneeling down to scratch behind BB-8’s sensor with a fond smile. “Yeah, yeah, we’ll work on that,” he says before glancing back at you with a soft smile. “He's our kid, he’s been worried sick about us, weren't you?” he turns to BB, who's beeping frantically in agreement.

You glance at him, then back at Poe, a softness settling in your chest at the sight of them together, your little family. “Our first kid, yeah” you smile softly, heart fluttering inside your chest.

“First? Meaning there's gonna be more?” Poe asks with a playful smile, getting back on his feet. He raises his eyebrows as he awaits your response, and you both laugh at the sudden change of atmosphere as Poe wraps a hand around you before pressing a kiss to your temple.

You huff out a laugh at his quick jump to conclusion, “I don't know, you're a pretty good dad to this one,” you shrug.

“A couple hours ago I was dead to you and now we're talking having kids” he laughs into your hair, a teasing tone in his voice.

“You weren’t even close to being dead to me, you’re so dramatic Poe” you declare with a small scoff, poking his chest lightly. “That’s the reason Beebs loves you so much” you tease, making him huff out a laugh. “I’d say we should focus on surviving one parenting experience first,” you chuckle looking down at BB-8, nudging Poe playfully. “But who knows what the future holds?”

Poe grins, his eyes sparkling with excitement as his arm grasps tighter around his hold on you. “As long as I have you by my side, I'm up for anything babe.”

—

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tmntxthings · 10 months

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∑一 Gasoline・゜・。

author’s note: so I started this months ago and came back today and somehow finished it? it’s now 4 am and idk what I’ve written but we posting it babyyyyyyy

song: reckless driving by lizzy mcalpine, ben kessler

warnings: cursing, narcissism, over-dramatics, cringe, sarcasm, flirting, confessions, unedited

—————————————————————————

Okay, I’ll admit. I’m not the best when it comes to..following the rules? Heeding caution? Listening to anyone??? Yeah not the greatest in that department.

But! I’m practically flying high in all others. Better brother, better turtle, cooler weapon, and not to mention handsome as fuuuck. So handsome in fact, I know I’ve snagged your attention. Heh. Call it what you will, intuition or gut-feeling, I know I’ve been occupying your mind.

But the thing is, you won’t admit it. No matter how much I prod, tease, or blatantly ask. It’s always “Leo, no.” “Leo, stop!” “Leo, shut up!!” And never “Yes, I think about you endlessly Leo, you’re right, and super handsome, be my one and only turtle”

…

Yeah…

It’s never ever that. And maybe that’s the reason why I can’t let this go. Because I know I’m right. If I wasn’t why would you keep coming around? Why would you spare glances my way? Why would you wear blue? It was all so infuriating to see these little details only to be denied again and again.

Raph says I’m getting a little obsessed. Donnie doesn’t give two fucks. And Mikey says something even worse, that I’m in love. Barf. Gross. Me? Love? Hell no. I collect admirers. I flirt with everyone. Unabashedly. Why would I fall in love with someone who is so clearly in denial that they are in love with me??? All I’m doing is getting them to admit the truth, and then they’ll be another tally mark. Another addition to the ever growing list of admirers I have.

It comes with the title of being the Face Man and all of that. Perks of being me I guess!

And so I was up to my usual antics.

“Keys Y/n, keys babe!” You scoffed pushing my hands away. “Keep your grabby mitts away, there’s no way in hell I’m letting you drive.”

“I curbed one time Y/n. Once! Give a turtle some slack here!!” I’m practically begging at this point. Because I have a plan. A genius plan to get you to finally admit the truth. It’s going to be epic.

“I think you’re also forgetting the three times you purposely ran into trash cans. You almost backed into another vehicle. And don’t get me started on how many times you accidentally forgot the keys in the car!”

…Okay so maybe there are a few more reasons as to why I shouldn’t be driving. But no matter! I’m a master manipulator. I can sway those around me like a pro. Plus since ya have feelings for me, I’m sure you actually really do just wanna hand over those keys. You’re just like playing a little hard to get is all.

“Whaaaa?? Are you sure that wasn’t Angelo? Pretty sure that was totally him and not me.” A big cheesy smile lights up my face trying to turn that frown of yours upside down. “Plus in any case I’ve got super rad portal powers to snab the forgotten keys!”

“Leo. No.”

And the actual begging and groaning and bemoaning ensues. I don’t throw temper tantrums that often. Only when necessary. After many ‘pleases’ and promises to drive extra careful. I finally get my long awaited—

“Leo, I said noooooooooo!”

A hard flick resonates against the space right above the middle of my eyes. Dramatically I flinch backwards crying out in faux pain. My hands going up, one covering the space that has just been so grievously wounded. “Oh c’mon that didn’t hurt…”

“Did it?”

Peeking through my three fingers I see the wisps of concern on your features and it’s at this moment where my all-of-the-sudden-plan enacts. As you draw closer out of worry it’s just too easy to create a small portal with my other hand that is behind my back. Don’t ask how the dagger got in my palm. Sometimes being a ninja just has its perks.

And just like that the keys to your car are securely in my hand and I bolt before you can realize you’ve been…hand-pocketed? Pick-pocketed? Whatever the case!

As I gloat from the driver’s side window, with the locks safely on so you couldn’t just rip open the door and strangle me like you were threatening to do right now. I make a show of raising the volume in your car and celebrating more with a little dance in the drivers seat. It’s not until you shake your head and the flames extinguish from your eyes do I dare to unlock the passenger door for you to get in.

You do slam the door close though. “Dramatic much?”

I can’t help but tease. I love winning. I love rubbing it in everyone’s face. And it makes my bones sing to see you get so riled up all over little ol’ me. You glower, somehow holding your tongue, perhaps giving me the silent treatment as you take over the music.

Driver gets veto power though. So I skip a bunch of songs you choose until I feel the flames start to rise again and I worry we (or rather I) may never even make it out of your driveway before I turn into roasted turtle. And that can’t be tasty.

So I let this particular song play. Humming along since I don’t know the words as I start to pull out and drive on the road. You stay silent for the most part and that just won’t do so I may or may not get a little too close to a curb for comfort on your side of the vehicle.

“God damnit Leo if you curb!!” You hiss as you clutch the handle on the car door. “Whoopsie!” I laugh getting back to the middle of the lane easily enough. “Where did you want to go so badly anyways?” You grump. But at least you’re talking now! “It’s a surprise!” I sing-song.

Now initially, my plan to force your admission of feelings was to continue to drive really recklessly and maybe almost die in a car crash or something like in the movies. And while you think I’m about to die you just have to tell me that you are helplessly in love and like magic. Confession secured.

But now thinking about it more seriously there are plenty of unknown factors like, what if I do actually kill myself in the process. Or ya know, you get hurt? Or I just wreck the car and we both are totally fine?! I don’t see myself surviving much longer after that if that ends up being the case. So I have nothing. Zilch. Nada. No back up plan was really made.

So I just drive.

And as previously mentioned, I’m not the best driver…

So you are on edge the entire time and constantly telling me to “Watch out!” “Don’t curb!” “Don’t hit that dude crossing the street!” “Red means stop!” “Yellow means slooow!”

Thankfully I know what green means. Aka turtle. Aka go ninja go ninja go. I’m proud of that one. Anywho, the drive winds up and down the backstreets of New York until even I don’t know where the fuck we are.

I pull over, parallel parking. Miraculously it’s one of the few tricks I can do with a car and you breath out a very unnecessary sigh of relief. “So this is the surprise?” You are looking around the low rise buildings with slight curiosity but more confusion than anything.

Nothing here is really special. No shops. No bright sparkly lights. It’s actually pretty grim because a few of the streetlights are out making the dark night even darker. It’s probably the least romantic place in the world. Definitely holds no sentimental value for an awe-inspiring confession.

My head hits the steering wheel as I close my eyes and say “Yup!” As bright and false as possible. I feel like a jerk and even worse than that a failure. I’m greeted with silence and I don’t open my eyes to check your face. I’m sure it’s turning into disappointment right now.

“Leo, everything okay?”

My head turns slightly, if only because your voice sounds a little different. I mean you usually are quite serious, but it’s also one filled with… care? “Just thinking.” And that is not a lie, just a very vague statement.

“Wanna talk about it?”

I mull it over. What am I even thinking? Driving around in the middle of the night. Being chaotic. Being a nuisance. Being with you. Dragging you along. Trying to get you to say something you’ll never say in a million years. And turtles sadly don’t live that long.

“Y/n, do you like me?”

I don’t dare take my eyes off of you now. Truthfully I feel like spewing out nonsense to cover up my mistake. I just had to open my big fat mouth. To actually say shit I actually mean. Or in this case something I really want to know. Your eyes widen ever so slightly, and you tilt your head as if you hadn’t even considered that a possibility. Liking me.

I’m instantly filling up the silence. “Like better than Mikey right? Pretty sure I don’t have to sweat over Donnie. And Raph may be second place but I’m definitely number one right?”

This way it’s easy. This way it’s safe. This way no one gets hurt. This way I don’t get hurt. This way I can play it off.

“I do like you.”

My thoughts empty and I straighten up. Swallowing back the spit that’s suddenly filling up my entire mouth. “Right duh, of course you do. Everyone does!” I laugh, smiling big as if nothing you just said affected me. Like I totally won’t be thinking about this even later tonight back at the lair. Overthinking it. Surely you meant it as a friend… but a turtle can hope?

“Even though you are so annoying.” You tack on, but your smile is too much. It’s genuine. It’s not plastered on like mine. It doesn’t hide anything.

Oh shit.

I just continue on, blabbering complete and utter nonsense at this point. Because part of me can’t believe it. That you really said it. That you do like me. That this surely isn’t possible, that you’re about to laugh and say that this was all some funny joke.

“Do you like me?”

And where there was nonstop chatter, it turns to silence. I avoid your stare now. In fact I turn my whole face away because I can feel my red marks heating up. Which is never a good sign. Blushing will only end in embarrassment. More than I can handle.

“Whaaaat? Me? Like you?”

I leave it open ended. To be inferred that I couldn’t possibly. But I think I just continue shooting or maybe slicing myself in the foot. Over and over and over again. Because in the window I can see you’re still looking my way. And your lips are pursed together in a small know-it-all smile. I whip my head back around, forgetting all about the embarrassing heat that covers my face.

“Y-yeah. I do.”

And then you lean forward.

Time slows.

And I feel your lips on mine.

And my eyes are so wide. I don’t know what to do but just stare. I don’t move. I don’t breath. Your eyes are closed and your lips are soft if only a little chapped. You pull away slightly, and I can feel your breath fan over my face.

“Good.” Is all you say. And I nod like a dumb pile of rocks is all I have for brains. “Now how about I drive?” Again I’m nodding.

The only thing that breaks the trance is the warning beep from your display signaling that I’ve just wasted all of the gas left in your tank.

…

Whoops!

—————————————————————————

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bambiebaee · 2 years

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casually describing your soulmate - pick a card

1 2 3

hello, guys!! i am up with a new pac, here i’ve tried to get messages about your soulmates personality, their appearance and some things i somehow associate them with. i did it mostly intuitively, so i hope it turned out well.

keep in mind that this is a general reading, just take what resonates and don’t stress too much about it. take it easy ;)

pile 1

so group 1 i can definetely say that your soulmate is definitely a people person, they may not be a social butterfly, but i think they enjoy being around people, they need it. they attract a lot of people, there is something about their energy that just pulls people in. also i sense they are really comfortable to be around, they are those type of people that makes you feel at home. your soulmate is very talkative i see, their mind is always full of different ideas, stories, jokes and they like to share them with people. but i think they are also a good listeners, they always make sure that everybody in the group is heard. ooh, they are really so sweet and, umm, like, cozy? another big thing about them is that they really emotional, they can't control them at all. they express what they feel openly and intensely i would say. like they can burst out in tears of hapiness when you make a present for them or something like that. but i think they are totally fine with that, they don't embarassed by that. oh, i really love it. they also like to talk about their and others feelings. they are really in tune with their intuition and empathetic. they may catch on on what you feel even better than you do. i think they prefer private conversations where they can talk for hours about the sense of life, aliens or their favourite characters. when i say they love to talk i really mean that. they a little child like and naive, in a friend group they would probably be that “babey” friend, but it’s a part of their charm, though. also i am sure that your person is fond of fictional worlds, they like reading, watching movies/series/anime, especially fantasy ones, i think. they can even create their own, cause they are definitely really creative people

appearance:

okay, so your soulmate definitely stands out from the crowd. probably because of their style, they may dress in a really fancy way. i see them wearing lots of accessories, and for a lot of you they have piercings ( “smiley” piercing stands out most for me here). they may have coloured hair, remarkable make up, unusual haircuts/hairstyles, as for the boys they probably have long or middle length hair. they probably have pale or cold undertoned skin, black hair, light eyes. ( i actually have this picture of Miyamura from Horimya in my head idk☠️) . i see them having more like skinny body. as for the style, i think, they prefer oversized clothes, may have skater boy/girl style or something grungey. and some of them wear headphones ( especially white ones) as an accessory.

some things i associate with them:

mint, wind in your hair, black cat, skateboard, late night walks with your friends, chains, “windbreaker” manhwa (idk why i haven’t even read it☠️), bubblegum, stars, fresh air, silver.

possible zodiac signs: water or air signs

possible mbti types: enfp, infj

pile 2

pile 2 your soulmate is a hopeless romantic. not only in terms of love and relationships, but in everything. they remind me of those novel main heroes, brave knights, lovely princes/princesses. l get a huge fairytale medieval kingdom vibes from them. they have these strong principes and moral codex that is inbreakable. they are fighters of justice, they just can’t stand inequality, lie and manipulations. I see that they usually more calm and cold, but when they see someone being treated bad or being offended i think they just flare up, they seem really brave, confident and powerful at that moments, although most of the time they don’t show that and may not even be aware of these side of themselves. I definitely sense that they are introverted and reserved, they are hard to get to open up. i think they have only several close friends who they can trust, but they are still waiting for this soulmate connection. they want to meet someone who understands them because honestly i think they feel like no one can do that ( it’s not even surprising, cause they don’t want to open up to people☠️) . they may see everything in “black and white” and do not tolerate halftones. for example, for them, a lie is always something bad, and they simply do not want to understand such concepts as a lie for good or reticence. but you may be sure that they will never lie to you, they are extremely honest (sometimes even blunt i would say). your soulmate is also super loyal, they would never betray those who they care about. they take all relationships very seriously and if they let you get closer to them you may be sure that you now have at the very least a reliable friend. oh, yeah, as i said at the beginning, they are hopeless romantics (several love songs started to play when i was making this reading). they in love with idea of love and i think they like to make a scenarios in their head about their future with you their soulmate. that’s so cutee🥺 they are really caring and loving when it comes to their close ones but they may have problems expressing it though. they see the world in their own way, romanticize a lot and that’s beautiful. they want someone to share their vision of the world with.

appearance:

i see they have really attractive facial features, but they may even hide it actually. a lot of them wearing something that hide half of their face, especially eyes. it may be masks, hoods, glasses or their hair. your soulmate is somebody who doesn’t like to stand out. they definitely have a natural hair colour, mostly brown or blonde tones. oh, and their eyes are really beautiful, i see them having big brown puppy eyes that most of the time have sad or tired look. most likely they have a thin body type. dark akademia may actually be their style. another things i pick up on: warm skin undertones, thin lips, angel skulls, veiny hands, eye bags, face birthmarks, fluffy hair

things i associate with them:

knights, sea breeze, rock, coffee, books, autumn, cinnamon, semidarkness, hedgehogs, clouds, candles, plaids

possible zodiac signs: may be anyone actually, but i mostly sense air, earth and water energies

possible mbti types: isfp, infp

pile 3

heyyy, group 3!!ooh, i sense a soul of the company here. your soulmate is someone extremely charismatic and fun to be around. They are good at inspiring and accommodating people. in a friend group the one that keeps the group together, may be the loud or the funny one. i see people really like and admire them. they may be actually popular, at least in their circle. I also feel that they are super confident. they have excellent self-esteem, they know their worth, they are well aware of their capabilities, skills and talents, and they do not allow anyone to underestimate them. also your person is someone extremely purposeful, they achieve goals by any means and may even resort to manipulation. they love attention and go all out of their way to get it. but it's not something bad, it is just their nature. they are actually really sweethearted, they sincerely love making people laugh and smile. they definitely have a great sense of humor and a very infectious and charming laugh. they are also quite short-tempered, but they do not hold grudges for long and quickly move away. your soulmate is quite unpredictable too, they came up with this crazy ideas and share them right away. like they are the type of person who can call you in the middle of the night and invite you to go to another city. you never know what to expect from them and you will never be bored with them. they prefer to live in the moment and do not really think about the future, they may seem frivolous to some, but they attract most people with their openness, sincerity and lightness. in fact i think they really wise and mature, they may give really good advices, but they prefer not to show this side of themselves they prefer to always smile so that others feel comfortable and relaxed. i also sense they are very talented and they like to show it, they may sing or play for their friends, tell them stories they have made up and all that stuff. oh ,also i think they are good at persuasion, love to argue and usually always win. they make their own rules and hate being told what to do.

appearance:

okay, so, i get this “straight girl/boy” vibes from their looks. if this is a guy he has a short haircut and if the girl is probably very long and well-groomed hair. also girls tend to dress very feminine they like dresses and skirts. but I don't think they stand out much for their styles, they wear what is comfortable and does not interfere with their activity. I think they have natural hair colour, that shines in the sun. they have tanned skin or skin with warm undertones. most likely they have plump lips and a very beautiful and attractive smile, they can wear braces. despite their cheerful disposition, they have a sad and serious look. most likely they are of medium height and strong physique, they have developed muscles. another things i pick up on: dimples, freckles, brown eyes, thick eyebrows, red hair, big facial features.

things i associate with them:

sun, bears, warmth, beach, get togethers with friends, card games, beer, honey, orange, dogs (i think they have a dog or even several dogs), sunsets

possible zodiac signs: earth or fire signs

possible mbti types: estp, esfp, entp

that’s all for today. hope you enjoyed it. see you in the next reading, byeee ;>>

#pick a card #pac #spirituality #pac tarot #free tarot #tarot reading #free readings #soulmate #pick a picture #pick a pile #tarotblr #witchblr #tarotcommunity #tarot witch

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justsescape · 18 days

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Dumb anime logic, Asuka is filling up the elevator with her boob meat and gut, hotboxing whatever empty space is left with her burps, and Rei is pressed up against the door...

Cause angels or somethin', idk, dont fluster me--

"H-hey, WoooOOOOOURPndergirl, where'd... HYIC-UUUUUUUUUURP!... where'd you go?!"

Asuka filled up the elevator in the same way a milkshake fills up a glass. Her body -- surely well over two-thousand pounds -- was not so much standing in the lift as much as it had been somehow poured in. Flab splayed up against each wall like oceanwater crashing up against the wooden legs of a dock. It was a wonder the weight limit hadn't been reached.

"D-did you... HYIC! HYICK! HYURK!" Asuka's eyelids fluttered with fatigue. Whatever words she managed to get out were consistently prefixed or suffixed by all manner of gas. "BEOOOOOOOOOOUURP-HIC-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!"

The former pilot's flesh rose and fell like sand dunes; hills and valleys, peaks and troughs formed the landscape throughout the confined capacity of the elevator. Her pale, stretch mark-laden skin served as a canvas for condiments, crumpled up wrappers, and food stains. The walls themselves were similarly greasy, caked with sweat and dripping with moisture from being practically drowned in her generous fat. At least, the top half of them were; the lower half of each wall had been completely buried beneath Asuka's lard-ridden body. So, too, was the case for the aforementioned Wondergirl.

"Did yoOOOURP... haaah~... did yoOOOOOOOUUUURP... haaaaaanghh~..." In the dead center of it all was Asuka's head. Sat atop a series of chins that virtually melted into the rest of her, the redhead's once-sharp features had been so distorted with adipose that every facial recognition control in NERV rejected her clearance. "...st-steal myyHYICK-UUUURP!... my food?..."

It took her multiple minutes to get even a single question out. That in itself was a mockery -- but Asuka furthered the absurdity by trying to point a finger. Each of them had grown so thick that the lines that fell between her knuckles flattened against the rest of her bulbous skin. They practically resembled the shape of particularly giant carrots.

"I can... feel yUUUUUUUUUOOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAP!... hnnnngNNGMngh~... feel yYHOURK!... f-feel you squirming, HYIC-UUUUUUUUUURP!... you know!"

Belches were so deep, so loud, that they resonated with the metal girders carrying the elevator from one floor to another. And each gaseous expulsion was not only deafening, but unmistakably warm. Rei couldn't see a thing -- she was smooshed against one of the walls like a bug against a windshield -- but she certainly suspected that the air had turned green from Asuka's noxious fumes.

The elevator doors opened slowly, laboriously. The friction that Asuka's bulging lard imposed upon them kept them from going any faster than a snail. Not that anyone could even board the lift, anyway. Asuka's blubber bulged into the corridor like a diver desperate to surface for a breath; it would be a miracle if the door would ever shut again.

As for Rei, she was unlucky enough to be pinned against one of the other walls. She was in for a long ride.

#ic ask response #substantial-gains #muse: asuka #weight gain #slob #muse: rei (kinda lol)

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shadow-the-crow · 1 month

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why i would be an avatar of these fear entities:

got this idea from the lovely @totheidiot (who got it from @cult-of-the-eye) - basically experiences that could have marked me and stuff that connects me to the entities. (Disclaimer: I'm only in the middle of season 2 and only know the basic lore, so i don't exactly know what makes you become an avatar)

the Lonely: This is the one i feel most connected to. Loneliness has always found me at different points in my life - mostly because of my social anxiety. I often didn't have many friends, had difficulties connecting with new people, and mostly i even feel disconnected from my friends because i'm scared of opening up and being myself. At this point i feel like it's a part of me. Like it's continuously eating me up but by now i'm embracing it. Also, a close friend of mine says she's had a constant feeling of loneliness ever since she lived with me for a few months. (She says it wasn't my fault, that it's probably just because she was far fom her family and other friends, but still.) So i might already be an irl avatar of the Lonely lol

the Extinction (and maybe this is also a bit of the Vast?): This happened last summer during a holiday in Italy with my family. One night, the whole sky was suddenly lit up by lightnings every few seconds, they formed crazy patterns but stayed in the sky. Then there was also thunder, getting louder and louder, and at one point it just didn't stop anymore. At this point, i actually thought the world was ending. Then the hail started. The hailstones were bigger than tennis balls, and we were in a mobile home, so we were legitimately scared the roof would collapse. I stayed weirdly calm though. It kept going for maybe half an hour, thankfully nobody got hurt.

the Eye: I used to be pretty paranoid as a kid, i often felt like i was being watched when i was alone. I'm also a very curious person who loves learning new stuff, and i can't stand not knowing something, so i often immediately look up things i'm wondering about. Also people on here have told me i'm of the Eye because i can't stop listening to tma although it scares me, like i somehow feel compelled to continue, but idk if that means anything.

the Spiral: I'm not sure if this one counts, but i feel really drawn to the Distortion's weird existence and the whole "it is not what it is" thing. Also "there's no such thing as a real name" is a quote that deeply resonates with me, idk, i just think it's true - and i'm convinced i'll never find a name that feels like it's mine. Also i'm really good at lying, sometimes i lie about little things just for fun.

the Corruption: Corruption to a certain degree gives me comfort because my family's home has always been... idk, "dirty" is the closest word i can think of, but that doesn't really describe it. We regularly clean and all, the rooms look clean at first sight - but there's old, forgotten, sometimes moldy stuff in the cracks and under the furniture and on the kitchen sink, and a lot of walls are moldy in the corners. So it just feels like there's something rotting underneath, and that feeling is comforting to be by now. Unrelated to that, i also still remember that one time i climbed on a tree and suddenly there were ants all over my body and i just jumped and shaked my limbs for like a minute.

#trauma dumping is fun #sorry for the long post #if anyone actually reads all of this i'm impressed lol #tma #the magnus archives #tma podcast #tma entities #tma fears #tma spoilers #did i really just spend more than an hour writing this #tw social anxiety #tell me if i should put a tw for anything else

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blysse-and-blunder · 2 months

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in lieu of a reading week

11pm, tuesday, feb 20, 2024

hello beloveds. just wrote two increasingly passionate paragraphs about what social media and my use of it over the years has done to benefit my life, and got so genuinely moved that i had to come talk to you about it.

reading really wild mix of reading material of late. surprisingly high amount of YA, because people keep recommending me things and i keep going 'sure, let's try it!' so i'll use that as an organizing principle and save discussing some of the others for a future post. in order of completion:

firekeeper's daughter, angeline boulley, read by isabella lablanc. finished in a rush, very engaged in the last three-four hours. i was never prepared for the next thing this plot threw at me, though in retrospect saw how it all made sense. i didn't know a thing about it going in, which i think actually enriched the experience a lot, but for a novel set in michigan's UP and sugar island, it resonated with a lot of things i associate with ontario after living here for five+ years. the hockey, the ojibwe /anishinaabe names and cultural connections, the murdered and missing indigenous women. but it also mixes in elements reminiscent of, like, braiding sweetgrass (and tangentially mexican gothic) and various fan fiction tropes i recognized in their shape if not their execution. highly recommend the audiobook-- they cast the audiobook's narrator very carefully, and she does a superb job juggling the mix of scientific jargon, teen narrator unreliable/dramatic narrator (loving), and Anishinaabemowin.

castle in the clouds, kerstin gier, translated by romy fursland. maybe 33% through. it's giving grand budapest hotel and somehow also the princess diaries? it's also reminding me somehow of, like, the kind of novel i wanted to write as a second or third grader, which means eva ibbotson, and a particular flavor of plucky, intelligent heroine. i was hooked by the first page+ but have yet to see a ton more of the same high action and suspense, and have let this one slip a little further onto the back burner. it's cute escapism at the moment, though that may change.

fourth wing, by rebecca yarros, read by rebecca soler (and apparently also teddy hamilton, although i haven't gotten to him yet?) about 25% through. trying desperately to give us a gritty, hardcore, new and dangerous and fun take on dragons and their human riders, while also trying to be idk divergent? the hunger games? there's a love triangle, the protagonist has naturally ombre hair, the premise of the novel is brutal training where young adults are all dying in improbable droves due to how cutthroat and brutal it is. a testament to the narrator that i am, despite myself, having a great time. there are a few too many supporting characters who want our main girl straight up dead for me to really find the threats believable, but i'm intrigued by the prospect of alternate versions of this world's history than what she has learned and a potential for discovering how their kingdom has? manipulated them? could be asking too much.

fairest, gail carson levine. finished in a long saturday morning spent reading in bed. i was such an intense and dedicated fan of the original ella enchanted novel that i couldn't read most of levine's other books (exceptions for her short stories made grudgingly) because they weren't sequels and weren't the same and wouldn't be as good. in fairness, reading this now as a much-older-than-the-intended audience, perhaps i was too harsh-- but i think little-me was right to be a little suspicious. it's a snow white retelling, and again i think largely successful in building a more detailed plot in which the elements of the retold fairy tale are embedded, but where the focus in ella was on language and obedience and free will, here we're trying to articulate things about beauty and body image, and it's harder to say that it really succeeds? i like that we gave the Wicked Queen more nuance, positive and negative qualities, moments of sympathy, a name and a precarious political position. i was not nearly as charmed by the romance (fine, fine, it's not ella and char but it couldn't be, it's fine). i still love the use of unfamiliar / fairy-tale languages and how levine puts them on the page in such fun spellings. probably aimed at the youngest audience, of the four titles here, but treats its reader as almost more intelligent than fourth wing, possibly? YA from ~twenty years ago was a different world.

listening graded like twenty quizzes today with just a mess of random panic at the disco bumping in my headphones. it's a hell of a feeling, etc. i'm halfway through this particular round of grading, and they're doing so well, so it's mainly a quick check to make sure they got the basics right and i can jam while doing so.

watching spent a very pleasant ~2 hours yesterday watching as much as we could of the film amadeus with @hematiterings, @pep-squad-lizzie, and @dimir-charmer. love a film that isn't afraid to lean into all its sensory indulgences, and to be a little heavy-handed with its symbolism (the chocolate is about repression!) and to, just generally, spend money on costumes, locations, hiring lots of extras, and so many wigs. there's a live event performance of this film with orchestra + choir being advertised all over our subway right now, so it does very much feel like we're being followed by this guy:

...but what's sticking in my head right now is the costumes.

playing 41+ hours into hollow knight. i have opened half of my stag stations! i have the dream nail, surprisingly early i think! i have saved bretta! i have somehow missed the mantis lords, i think, but have made it to the city, the resting grounds, and have now been throwing myself fruitlessly against the crystal guardian and a soul warrior in alternation. i am...not good at combat. current plan is to grind to get quick focus, and i'm close! also, @spoonierbard stepped in and gave me a much needed morale boost by winning me the final mask shard necessary to get increased lives, which has helped tremendously, and the grubs rewarded me with the grub song charm which has helped tremendously.

making many potential projects, none executed (or even really attempted). soon, hopefully. fallow section for now. does music count? music counts, right? i joined a second choir! enticed by the chance to perform mozart's requiem in full with an orchestra, and finally fulfill the broken promise of 2020. that's my hobby right now. oh i also just cleaned out a ton of storage in my phone + icloud, which felt generative in its own way. besides backing things up better than i have in a while.

working on submitted the travel money application i've been thinking and dithering about since...this time last year? no real expectation of getting it, but it did actually help me consider some next steps in the diss, so that's nice. now prepping to take my class on two fun on-campus field trips next week, one to the manuscript library and one to the medieval collection in our little hidden art museum! i need to write some notes up for the TAs and docents to use, and finish organizing my list of desired manuscripts, like, yesterday. midterm grades posted today, a little late but hopefully not too bad, still well before the drop date. the aforementioned quizzes (i have like 28 more to grade, but they're reasonably painless). plus i was going to work on my fucking dissertation this week, and prep to teach the next few lectures in advance so i'm not scrambling monday nights, plus send a bunch of emails, design a CFP poster, put in some RAship hours so i can speak intelligently in my meeting tomorrow, and....prep for the guest lecture i'm giving on the 28th! it's a reskin of the conference paper i gave this summer, freshly edited, but i need to expand the intro bits to include a useful overview, since these students aren't a conference of celticists.

weirdly at peace with how my work-life balance is balancing right now, though. it's the extra sleep and the increased sunshine, and the little cat who is being so so whiny right now. i must conclude these lines and feed Herself.

#in lieu of a commonplace book #ilcb #going to cave and admit the truth and tag this:#monthly roundup #click for gratuitous cat pic featuring: housemate blurred for anonymity #Spotify

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fromdarzaitoleeza · 3 months

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hello! im sorry if this is a weird message, feel free to completely ignore it, but i read some of the asks you get and thought id try to express my feelings, since i have literally no one else to tell them to, and because i relate so deeply to so many of your posts.

i had my first love in 2022. i kind of kept an eye on them for months before we started interacting, and when i got to know them i was blown away–i couldn't even dream them if i tried. i remember thinking to myself for hours on end about how perfect they are, thanking the heavens for crafting someone so unbelievably beautiful as them. the embarrassing part is, our "situationship", if you could even call it that, lasted two weeks. just two weeks. and i feel so fucking ridiculous because i still love them.

i've met someone i really, really like and got into a relationship, and it kills me because although i care about my partner a lot, they're not them, you know? they're not my first love. my current love.

i don't know if i'll ever get over them, and i honestly don't even want to. my feelings are the very last string somehow still connecting us, and i don't want to live in a world where there are no signs of us ever existing, even though we never really did.

and these feelings are not painful for me either–thinking about them doesn't ever make me sad, just nostalgic, really. i only feel thankful that they were my first love, and that we get to exist under the same sky together. just thinking about this person going about their day, wondering what they're currently doing, brings warmth to my heart.

anyway, even if you don't reply to this message, thank you so much for making this blog so welcoming it made me feel like it was okay to share my feelings. hope your days are lovely.

I read all of it, I can't say for sure if i resonate your feelings, i do believe a part of everyone stays inside us whom we once loved, i have never been lucky in terms of love , yes I used the word luck here cause in terms of efforts I do believe I have given my level best I try and try and try again until i have nothing more to offer , people fall in love with me and then they fall out of love idk how people are capable of doing that ( losing interest/feelings) I don't want to get into more details, as for you I don't much to say I cannot say i understand you , all I can say don't let your past or any person from past effects those who are now willing to love you to their best abilities and don't let it stops you from loving them to your best capabilities , I am sure you already knew it . I have nothing to offer you not even words

“ Sometimes you get so close to someone you end up on the other side of them. ”

― Richard Siken

This blog is welcoming to everyone, even if i don't respond to the anonymous asks i have read them you have my best wishes for everything, this is the only thing I am Good at words and in the end they are not enough too .

#my life has been more traumatic in my 20s than it was ever in my teens #regardless i will live my life even if it kills me

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quaranmine · 25 days

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Hi, not sure if you remember me, but i sent an ask a while ago saying how i love the Incadescence of a dying light and that i talk about it with my friend and how we both really liked the story and are juts you know discussing it well update to now. we still do that lol. i cant stop thinking about it, i listen to the firewatch OST on the daily, resonating with each track at a time. I love it. I live it. I am enamored. Everytime Im studying Polish (my native language) and revising each epoch for my upcoming finals i cant help but connect themes and motives to that wonderful story of yours. If i land on a fitting topic in my oral final exam (like pop-culture, creativity and arts, certain themes in modern media) you BET Ill be talking about this fic (with all the credit I can give of course!) cause USARWSETDYRVUHUISC I cant get it out of my head. Its such an amazing example of how the media of fanfiction elevates the story to its maximum potential. How knowing the characters makes it so much easier to connect and resonate, even though Mumbo is absent from the majority of the fic, we still feel hurt after finding out whats happened to him. Like, its such an amazing creative medium I love fanfiction and TERSSXEFJNKVCRXSERARXSXERCDJNGIKKDc :thumbsup: oh gosh The Incadescence of a Dying Light. yeah so fun fact i actually had to look up what it means cause i didnt know the word before and oh. oh. oh its so much worse and more painful. really love it, i do, oh i do! I now have acquired (idk how to spell it lul) the never subsiding lust for nature and outdoors and hiking and being a part of it. I love it, you made me regain my love for it. I loved it before, yes, but i was caught up in my own head and had so much stuff i had to do, but now i love to look out my window even more, i love strolling in my garden. i love it. thank you, thank you, thak youuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup: So yeah, this fic is one of my faves of all time, i like it a lot, it has inspired me to live more and be alive basically and also. and for the end a fanart of an alternative ending where Mumbo somehow survives and just lives in the forest like a wild animal, living his best life, eating berries (i decided on drawing him eating berries [peace love and plants] instead of chowing down [is chowing a word??] on some rabbit lol) and then grian finds him and its super awkward

HI! Yes, of course I remember you! First of all, had a really wild day yesterday at work, but I read this at soooome point on my phone during the middle of the day and it made me smile :)

This ask is just so??? AAAAAAA???? I almost don't know how to respond, because it's just SO wonderful to hear this about something I created. Like I did that? I made a thing that is sticking deeply with people? I'm just soooo <333333

I like your point about how fanfiction can maximize story potential! I think it'd make a wonderful essay topic honestly. I have thought about this in connection with fanfic a lot--specifically, the divide between original fiction and fanfiction. In original works, you have to make the audience care. You have to introduce me to a character, setting, and story I will be interested in. I've read a lot of negative book reviews that start off with "the author didn't make me care about the characters" (i have also...said this myself about books I ended up not liking.) With fanfic, you skip that step! It lets you jump right in. I don't have to explain Mumbo and Grian's friendship or demonstrate it to you. You just Know. Someone reading it fandom blind would get the implication about how important they are to each other simply by seing the depth of Grian's grief, but for my intended audience, I can do whatever I want because I trust you to already have the background information you need.

The title is from a line I really like in a song (Post Humorous by Gus Dapperton). It just...painted such a nice word picture. Especially for a story about grief death and fire!

I just. Love that this fic helped you regain a desire for nature? That just makes me feel...warm, I guess, to know that I was able to spark that with something I created. I hope it goes well for you, and you get to take many walks. This spring I've been using the trails near my aunt's house (not.....hiking paths. too urban.) much more. I wanted to walk this week but I was too busy lol. I hope you have many wonderful experiences out in the Great Outdoors <3 one of these days, I swear I'll up and move to a place with "better" nature and "real" trails close by.

Also, SKFJSLFJSKFLSJKF your fanart made me laugh so much. I have like. Entertained this idea. Not as an actual or serious part of the story but I was like man wouldn't it just be off-the-wall if he was just vibing Out There 😭😭😭 You've caught the vibe perfectly LOL

this was all around such a special message to hear, thank you SO much!

#fave #save #hc_firewatch_au #quara asks #again <3333333333 #i feel like this response doesnt really adequately express how much this ask means to me i'm just really tired sorry <3 #i lvoe how many people i've induced firewatch brainrot into slfjsklfj

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tickle-bugs · 1 year

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Ahh bug! You know I’m Weak for anything with Caleb Widogast 👀 Maybe with devious ler Molly? (And/or Essek 👀👀)

Oh drat forgot the second part of that—phrase to go along with Caleb/Molly (& also maybe Essek): “Come now, how are you still so *sensitive*, hmm?”

ily lexi mwah <3 also sorry if i have butchered ur boys but i still hope u enjoy this <3 started thinking about molly being overly cautious with courting caleb because his feelings are real and caleb being like. i wanna kiss you so bad please stop pretending to be normal. which led to this

Resonance

not rly nsfw but the first half is somewhat suggestive? intimate? *vague handwaving* just keep that in mind idk

Caleb’s not sure what they’re doing here, really. Molly’s draped and redraped himself over Caleb every which way for the past hour, but they haven’t gotten close to the substance of their evening’s meet. Caleb had long-since shucked his coat and scarf, but not quite the rest of his clothes--that was supposed to be Molly’s job, or so he thought.

Molly’s invitation to join him for the evening had been whispered to him over a too-expensive glass of whiskey. Molly’s eyes were lidded, his forked tongue curled--Caleb had thought he’d read every sign correctly. But here they were. Stalled.

“Mr. Mollymauk--” He tries, but Molly coos at him.

“So formal? I thought we were closer than that, dearest.” Molly blinks languidly and settles down properly atop Caleb. They both sink just slightly into the mattress as he does. Molly walks his fingers down Caleb’s abdomen, pauses at his waistband, then walks them back up.

Always with the teasing.

“Mollymauk. Molly.” Caleb watches him warily. When claws don’t yet again touch down, he swallows and continues-- “What, ah, are you trying to accomplish here?”

“I’m glad you asked. You see, I’m quite fond of you, Caleb.” Molly fiddles with one of his holster buckles. It catches the light of the inn lanterns in mesmerizing patterns far too grand for such dull brass.

“Oh.” Caleb’s face grows warm. “I am…fond of you as well.”

“Hm, thank you. I would hope so. Otherwise, this whole thing would be quite awkward.” Molly’s laugh is rich and boisterous. Caleb turns the tones of it over in his mind.

“When you said you wanted, ah, companionship for the evening, I’d thought you meant--”

“Sex?” Molly’s tail sways behind him. “Is that what you’d like?”

“Did you…have something else in mind?” Caleb winces at his own indelicacy. Molly looks touched--no, maybe fond? It shouldn’t baffle him so much, he knows, but the visual proof is…unbalancing.

“With you? Ideas beyond number.” Molly’s piercing gaze pins Caleb further still to the bed. He’s beautiful in an elusive sense. When Caleb gazes upon Molly, he gets the distinct sense that somehow he’s going to disappear, as if someone so breathtaking could only exist in tricks of the mind.

Caleb’s face heats to a point of concern. Molly chuckles, low as the lamplight.

“I digress.” Molly leans close enough for their noses to touch. “I’d like to conduct an experiment, Caleb. Involving you.”

“Oh?” Caleb cannot for the life of him keep his eyes away from the softness of Molly’s lips.

“Yes, if you’d let me.” Molly’s hand finds his, both scarred in different ways. It’s one of the few times that feeling heat in the palm of his hand has been welcome.

“Do what you will.” Caleb nods.

“That’s the spirit.” Molly beams and pulls Caleb’s hand up his body, skirting along his thigh and the soft silk of his shirt, until finally their hands, as one, rest on his sternum. The warmth of Molly’s skin is a kiss that blooms.

“You feel that?” Molly hums, and it resonates through Caleb’s fingertips. He’d always thought Molly was a bit thin, but the way breath moves through him…it reminds Caleb of Nott’s brief and consuming obsession with blowing into glass bottles like flutes. There’s a pitch to Molly’s resonance—not one he’s equipped to understand, but there nonetheless.

“They say you can hear a soul best through laughter or through tears. I prefer the former.” Molly gestures flippantly, brushing his thumb over the back of Caleb’s hand. As he speaks, Caleb can feel the rise and fall of his breath, the resonance of his voice--as if Molly’s entire being has been shaped to carry sound to the very tip of his horns. The jewelry hanging from his ears and horns jingles of its own accord, like a windchime.

He’s the loveliest windchime I’ve ever seen, Caleb thinks, a bit hysterical.

“I want to hear what your soul sounds like, Caleb.”

It’s so intimate and innocent that Caleb finds his breath utterly lost. He blinks up at Molly and tries to counteract the sudden and reeling incoherence of his mind.

“Not the most resounding enthusiasm, but I understand.” Molly stands and brushes himself off. The aloofness of his tone is betrayed by the way he can’t seem to quite look at Caleb. It must be so easy for him to escape this way. Mollymauk, ever-balancing on a tightrope, with the most convincing lack of fear of falling.

“Wait!” Caleb grabs Molly’s wrist before he can slip away. Gently, he tugs him back down. Molly’s eyes shine alluringly in the dim.

“I was…caught off guard. No one has ever expressed an interest of this kind to me before.” Caleb slides his hands up Molly’s thighs. He gives a comforting squeeze, at least what he hopes is comforting, and Molly twitches with a quiet laugh.

“Shame.” Molly’s gaze roves over Caleb appreciatively, but not with the hunger he expects. It’s constructive. Encompassing. Warm. Caleb basks in it, even as Molly grows uncharacteristically quiet. He takes one of his claws between his teeth as his stare grows distant.

“What is rattling through that brain of yours, hm?” Caleb knits his brow. Molly sits up a bit, stretching their intimate bubble. Caleb clenches his fist and concentrates on not keening after him.

“How thoroughly I’m about to ruin the mood,” Molly mutters, likely not meaning for Caleb to hear. Caleb furrows his brow, but before he can speak, Molly kneads curiously into his stomach.

A chuckle bubbles from a deep, unknowable place in Caleb, somewhere nestled just beyond the darkness clinging listlessly to his soul. Then another, then another, until his whole body is racked with quiet sounds he tries to smother. Claws trip maddeningly upwards to his ribs and Caleb cracks into snickers that overwhelm him with force. He slams his arms back down towards his sides and curls as much as physically possible.

“Scheiße, Molly--”

“Do you want me to stop?” Molly stills, stiff and unnatural. He reminds Caleb of a wild hare, all of his muscles coiled and ready to flee--except for his tail, of course, which lashes in nonsensical patterns as if it has a life of its own.

He’s nervous, Caleb realizes. How endearing.

“Did I say ‘silvervine’?” Caleb huffs, still battling the wobbly smile on his face. Molly’s eyes widen.

“No, I suppose you didn’t.” Molly chuckles, shaking his head. Before Caleb can think to steel his defenses, Molly drags his claws down every inch of his captive torso that he can reach. Caleb jackknifes with the kind of giggles that fizzle in his lungs before they leave. It’s a maddening type of touch and he kind of wants more, but Molly continues in his steadfast teasing.

“You’re going to be the death of me, Caleb Widogast,” Molly murmurs, leaning down to kiss him sweetly. Caleb laughs into Molly’s mouth, soft as he imagined, and allows himself to fall slowly apart.

…

Caleb’s love, it turns out, is born from the same place as his laughter. Both have become easy to coax into the light with time. Like weeds breaking free of cobblestone streets, love has gripped the hopeful parts of him and refused to let go. Love has made him all the things he feared it would--weak, compromised, and clouded--and he wouldn’t trade it for anything, mortal or otherwise.

“Liebling, I have research to complete.” Caleb pauses at the bookshelf, letting Molly coil his arms around him. Molly’s face finds its usual place between his shoulder blades for a moment before his hands slide a bit…lower.

“Conveniently, so do I. My thesis is on the kinds of noises you’ll make when you’re overworked and I have time.” Molly’s breath curls hot against his ear. There’s a sweet center to the devilish lilt of his tone, though, and it makes Caleb smile.

“I’d love to hear you defend this thesis of yours, hm?” He turns to face Molly and the full force of his pout.

“You have utterly killed the mood,” Molly grumbles, but his tail is busy curling in content little loops. Caleb hums noncommittally and kisses him again, far more occupied about the way Molly’s cheeks squish between his hands when he smiles.

“If you can be patient, perhaps I’ll make it up to you.” Caleb shifts his grip to hold Molly’s chin, brushing his thumb across his bottom lip. He likes the spark of excited desire that flashes through Molly’s eyes.

“Promise?”

“However you’d like.” Caleb kisses him once more, more to sate himself than anything. Molly throws himself upon the nearest divan with expedience. As he settles in among the cushions, Caleb thumbs through the nearby shelves and starts a stack of relevant texts on one of the worktables.

The first hour rolls by without much event and by the second, Caleb is focused enough to ignore Molly’s dramatic sighs. By hour three, Caleb’s read what he needed. Some for research, some for pleasure, but he’s taken in enough to make his mind buzz.

Molly’s arms wind around his waist and Caleb jumps, then settles.

“One of these days, I’ll put a bell on you.” Caleb reshelves a few tomes with a reverent hand.

“Caleb, you must know by now that patience is not my strongest suit.” Molly presses his face between Caleb’s shoulderblades again. Caleb shivers from the very tips of his toes and bites back a chuckle. Molly tends to grow needy when he’s ignored, they both know this, but the varying levels of petulance always make things entertaining.

“I am aware.” Caleb continues reshelving, a little faster now. Molly nuzzles into Caleb’s back again and, oh, he’s purring. That would be exceptionally sweet if Molly’s body didn’t carry the resonance like a tuning fork, right to the tips of his horns where they’re pressed into Caleb’s spine, making it tickle terribly. Caleb bites his lip and forces back the tide of laughter building in his shuddering chest.

“Come now, darling. Are you still so sensitive? I can feel you trying not to laugh.” Molly drapes his arms over Caleb’s shoulders and speaks into his spine, languid but calculated. It’s a nonsensical question but Molly himself is nonsensical, just as much a trickster as the shadowed being to whom Jester accredits her mischief.

“M-Mohohlly.” Caleb shivers, snickers jumping free in short and bright bursts. Caleb can hear Molly’s grin without needing to see it, but it doesn’t prepare him for the bundle of tiefling suddenly clambering atop his back. Molly should know better than this, really--Caleb has gotten stronger, but he is not strong.

“You’ve kept me waiting all this time and you have nothing to say for yourself?” Molly unleashes a flurry of kisses behind Caleb’s ear and the dam falls before he has a chance to defend it. Breathy, frantic giggles flow from Caleb with a fervor, spinning around the two of them in the warm, empty library.

“Well, that’s not a very good defense. We’ll have to work on that,” Molly grins, speaking directly into Caleb’s neck. Caleb squeals and doubles over, landing somewhere between Zemnian and Common as he tries to shake Molly loose. Molly laughs and tickles his stomach, sending Caleb snapping upright with a dangerous sway.

“Tongue-tied already?” Molly leans back a dangerous amount, forcing Caleb to back up towards the divan to avoid a nasty fall. They collapse on it in a tangled heap of shouts and curses. Caleb immediately grabs Molly’s hip in his hand and starts murmuring an incantation. He can feel the gentle sparks of magic beginning to take effect--and Molly can too, if the sudden hitch in his breath is anything to go by.

“Ah-ah, none of that. You casters never play fair.” Molly worms his fingers up, up, until he can fiddle with the ribs supporting Caleb’s beloved book holsters. The magic, along with Caleb, dissolves into sparks and high-pitched bouts of noise. Caleb writhes and shrieks, his hair flying loose of its ponytail and into disarray. Molly rubs his knuckles between the grooves of his ribs and Caleb arches with a shout. Molly laughs and starts tickling at the back of his ribs.

They roll around like unruly kittens, kicking cushions every which way as if it were a sport. Molly still lands on top of him, breathless and vibrating with joy. He chirps something that sounds suspiciously like ‘squishy wizards’ before tickling up under Caleb’s arms, taking ample time to try and wiggle beneath the straps of the holsters.

Caleb grabs at Molly’s thighs to brace himself, and Molly snorts. It’s a quiet sound, cushioned by soft laughter, but it’s there and it’s beautiful. Caleb knows Molly’s ticklish, of course--ample time with Jester has taught him what to expect of tieflings--but he’s never heard him make such an adorable noise before.

“Mollymauk,” Caleb says, a little breathless, but he’s grinning wider than he ever thought possible. Molly’s nervous grin is delectable.

“Surely we can talk about this--”

“I think you’ve talked enough, don’t you?” Caleb pulls Molly close by the ankle and starts kneading at his inner thigh. Molly wails, thrashing so hard that his top half slides off the divan and onto the floor. A slapdash mix of giggles, snorts, and wild cackles burst out of him, enough for Caleb to coo at him and bury his stubble into the stretched plane of Molly’s stomach.

Molly muffles a blood-curdling shriek into a wayward cushion. Caleb laughs and tickles harder.

“I have a thesis on the kinds of noises you’ll make--”

“C-Caleb!”

#this is probably ooc and definitely does not fit in canon im sorry </3 #i did my best #my fics #ticklish!caleb widogast #ticklish!molly #critical role #mollymauk tealeaf #caleb widogast #widomauk #i am never not thinking about them #doing my part for the tieflings are knismos agenda by giving u some of my own homebrew lore about tieflings #they are hollow in a spiritual sense due to *handwaves at the canon bullshit* despite having souls which is why so many pursue bardhood!#imagine ur homie plays a song so good ur entire body resonates like a tuning fork?#or the love of ur life laughs and you can feel it hum thru ur whole body? yeah. tieflings <3

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pinkrelish · 1 year

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Prev anon here! You’ve done a great job in keeping reader non specific. I think part of the reason it resonates is because you’ve done a great job at keeping her relatable to so many people, which is not an easy feat. And I know this is a tricky topic(but an important one) but I do see the effort you put it and it’s def appreciated.

And you SHOULD rb all the amazing fan art that’s been made!! Every single one has been so so lovely!! And it’s lovely that people are inspired to make such art. It’s certainly not in your control how others want to depict anyone.

On that note, Idk where the line is in “we’re all just individuals making things!” And “wow somehow so much of the fanart within the fandom is white-centric” there is no easy answer, and it’s not one persons issue to shoulder or even address, but there’s certainly an awareness that can be had around it.

thank you for coming back! i realized after reading over my last response that i talked a lot about myself, and my fic, because i wasn't sure how to react to TYP specifically spawning this larger conversation, and didn't mean to put the sole focus on myself.

i've only contributed to one fandom before this and it was OC heavy, so the idea of people drawing reader inserts—who should be written as vague—is new to me. i've seen three other pieces of fanart for other writer's RI stories, and in two of them the skin tone was left blank and the head was cut off so no hair style could be depicted, and in the third it was chosen to be a white RI.

and even though i haven't been in a fandom as large as this, media in general leans, favors, and worships skinny white women as the ideal, and it's sadly not surprising when i scroll past header after header on fics that exemplify this. do i think writers do this maliciously? no. that's why i reach out in private with the intent to educate. do i also think poc have made RI art, written RI stories, and don't get as much engagement, and have received racist anons saying their art is not inclusive, and made to feel unwelcomed? absolutely. not even a question.

not too long ago when a big blog was pointed out for having an extremely white-coded fic, their response was to double down, call the poc trying to educate them "aggressive", and ultimately ignore them, and acted obtuse about the issue when all they asked for, at minimum, was for the fic to having a warning at the top.

and how many stories on here *don't* have warnings, but have multiple word choices indicating how pale the reader is? ....many. again, i'd wager most white writers aren't even conscious of these decisions until pointed out, but, yeah, poc have spoken up in the eddie munson x reader tag many times about getting part way through a story only to read something white-coded, and get thrown out of the immersion.

i'm not sure how to address the fanart with TYP specifically, and artists choosing to insert themselves, or representing themselves by choosing a skin tone close to their own to give miss mouse, other than to say i hope i'm making this blog a comfortable space for anyone to contribute art if they feel inspired and have the time, and know that i will defend anyone's interpretation because, in essence, she exists as a vehicle to tell a story about eddie finding love. i would love to see more representation for her so everyone can picture themselves in the story.

i'm clearly not an eloquent speaker, but i wanted to answer this with the audience i have, and as you said in the ask, bring awareness to an issue that exists in all fandoms, and is much larger than my story or fanart for my story, and is more about poc not feeling comfortable contributing, or even existing, in fandom spaces.

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altraviolet · 3 months

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hi! :D

someone asked about the energon harp a little while ago & you mentioned the glass harp being an inspiration for it. i suddenly had an Insane Brain Moment where i remembered the existence of an awesome instrument called the glass harmonica (or glass armonica, i believe it's called both!) and while i'm not sure if it fits that "richer" sound you described, since it's not that different sounding from the glass harp (as it's its succesor & the playing principles are the same with the water and glass and everything), i think it's another thing i personally was imagining while reading TEG :)

here is a video about it if you, or anyone else, are curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVqqNigImtU (it's a bit long but definitely worth a watch or a skim through if you ever have the time - the guy made this one himself i believe, and he talks about its fragility & complexity/the skill needed to play it, as well as some history behind it, and i just think it's such a beautiful instrument that everyone should know about LMAO)

it's also the sort of sound i imagine the resonances of the crystals having, that ethereal, echoing (lol) & almost haunting sound. especially the way the chords played are either beautifully harmonious or off-puttingly dissonant depending on the notes played. at one point i think the cameraman mentions about it being hard to listen to when not played correctly, and that to me is how i imagine the unpure crystals to sound - some harmony with a scratchy, unsatisfying underlayer of discordance mixed in there.

i have this tendency to link everything i possibly can to my interests, so rewatching this video and hearing again about the fragility of it made me have another brain moment and i somehow managed to link that to the way soundwave's crystals shatter. bit more of an abstract link but a link nonetheless xD i suppose the thought process does make sense though

apologies if you are already aware of the glass harmonica and i'm just repeating stuff you're already aware of!! and apologies if this seems random/like an unnecessary ask or something, i wanted to share my thoughts but i don't really have anyone else to talk to about TEG that would get it if that makes sense, so i figured why not share with the author directly ! (and again. i think everyone should know about the glass harmonica it's sick as hell)

actually. while i'm already here typing out an ask i might as well add another thing or two

how do you imagine soundwave's visor transforming away from his face? i can't remember if you go into detail in the fic about it. i think when i first read it i imagined an iron man mask -like transformation with part of it going up over the top of his head? but i'm not sure whether that makes like, any sense with how cybertronians typically transform LOL

and another thing- im autistic and the way you write soundwave sometimes reminds me a LOT of myself, both through the way he expresses himself and also the way hes treated by the lost light crew. there's a scene at/near the beginning of when the crystal club is formed (? i can't remember the exact chapter or point in the plot) where soundwave sees that his great work has the potential to finally be worked on and he's so giddy and elated and laughing and his tentacles are rolling through the air and laserbeak is spinning around and !!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAH idk that reminded me so so much of myself. like that was stimming if i've ever seen it xD

i don't know if you're neurodivergent as well & the way he's written is deliberately allegory for that but it was really fun to relate to him in that way, even if it wasn't intentional. there's a ton of other things soundwave does that to me read as autistic traits & experiences and i think that's awesome

okay that's all :3 i'd also like to say a general thank you for writing the fic (& keeping going for so long!), your writing is truly incredible and brings me so much joy to read and like many others i've started reading mtmte because of it ^_^

hello!

I think I saw this same video, briefly, while researching the glass harp :) the glass harmonica has more of breathy sound to my ear. but you are more than welcome to adopt it in your brain for the sounds of Nautica's harp! the fragility link between the glass harmonica and SW's crystals makes total sense.

>how do you imagine soundwave's visor transforming away from his face?

the story has not addressed this yet. it will, so I won't answer because spoilers

>it was really fun to relate to him in that way, even if it wasn't intentional

other autistic folks have made similar comments! I didn't write him specifically to be autistic. I wrote him to act in a way that I thought was a logical conclusion to the scant canon we got in TFP + the fanon of his emotion-suppressing protocols. but if you feel represented in a positive way than that can only be a good thing, I think!

yay, I'm glad that you've started reading MTMTE! I hope you enjoy the story. it's not perfect, but it is fantastic. it was the first time I saw character arcs in action and understood them to be so. previous to reading MTMTE, I never cared about characters in the books I read. I was more enamored of the world/setting, or the science/magic, etc etc. post-MTMTE I finally understand what people mean by characters being the most important part of a story. I learned a lot reading it =)

thank you for the kind ask!

#ask #anonymous #glass harmonica

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whump-card · 5 months

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Hey, just wanted you to know that both Sunless Lives itself and the comfortember drabbles brought me, well, great comfort. Idk why but this story resonated with me like no other on this website and I will forever be grateful that you wrote it and decided to share it with us. My life is very much unlike Simon's to be sure, except maybe a romantic hope to move to Italy at some point, but somehow you made it so that I am Living his life and my heart aches when I read or reread your chapters or drabbles.

I was going somewhere with this ask but I lost my way. The point is, I love this story, and I love you for writing it. It will stay with me for a long, long time (nine years from now at the very least, and if we're both still around here on Tumblr, I will let you know this time has passed). Thank you so much.

I’m from a place and of an age that makes saying “you’re welcome” always sound sarcastic, and I hate that. Because I want to say you’re welcome: you’re welcome to take Simon in as a comfort character. You’re welcome to come back to Sunless Lives anytime you need. You’re very, very welcome.

When I decided to post Sunless Lives, my main hope was that someone would enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I even said so in my intro post. But I never really imagined that anyone would share in the comfort and catharsis that writing it brought me. Despite it being violent, horny, and at times absurd, Sunless Lives was always an expedition of comfort and catharsis, for various personal reasons.

I am overjoyed beyond belief that someone else understands and sees and feels that comfort. Your message made me cry a little - in a really good way. Thank you.

I will absolutely try to track you down nine years from now! I put it on my calendar.

#an ask! an ask!#sunless lives #save

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hwanchaesong · 2 years

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I've been thinking a lot about how teritorial yunho would be to his s/o since he's the type to easily be jealous and idk why but he kinda radiates pervy and stalky energy to me, how do you think that would go??? 🤡🤡🤡

ohohohoho I LOVE HOW YOUR BRAIN WORKS IN THERE HONEY~

We all know how adorable and nice and friendly and kind and everything positive and charming Yunho is.

But there are those moments where I DO BELIEVE that he has this inner freaky freaky side.

Still remember that moment with San and his pajama?

Or that one interview with Jongho and Seonghwa?

Maybe those times where he flips his members and acts like he kisses them?

Yeah, there are a lot of scenes where Yunho showed how his mind works.

I believe that when he truly is infatuated with someone, he will unconsciously seek at them at all times.

Questions like:

1. What are they doing right now?

2. Who are they with right now?

3. Are they okay?

Or any random thoughts that would just make him want to see his subject of affection.

Okay so, think of it like this, Yunho had this biggest, fattest crush on you and he just can't get enough you. That is when the stalk part begins.

He will scroll through you social media, look at every post and story. If he has your number, expect the random messages and calls.

HE NEEDS TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND WHO'S WITH YOU FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF HIS PEACE OF MIND.

He is not obsessive to the point that he would seem yandere-ish. It's somehow sweet that he looks after you, and tbh, you won't find it weird that he knows almost everything about you.

Yunho is just genuinely curious about your likes and dislikes, dead set on knowing who and what you are so he'll be able to win your heart easily. (which he will succeed because he is THE jeong yunho, pls, who could even resist him)

Pervy Yunho is subtle yet highkey.

His eyes would always roam all over your body, would lightly bite his lower lip or run his tongue on it. He finds you so sexy and hot no matter what you're wearing.

But he LOVES it so much when you wear clothes that show just the right amount of skin. Tight dresses that accentuate all your curves. He is so proud to show the world his girl, that no other man can touch or see you like he can.

He is very vocal about it too, he is not shy for praises and compliments. Most importantly, he will never be lowkey about checking you out.

"Wow, my baby is looking all gorgeous today."

"Maybe you should wear that lingerie set I bought for you."

"Can you stay like that for a few seconds? Yeah, your ass looks great from that angle."

He also says and does the weirdest things out there.

"Baby, can you move here. Yes, like that, I want to feel your boobs in my right arm too."

It's a different story tho when he gets jealous.

He has this habit of putting his arms over your shoulders, his hand on the small of your back, heck, he even glares at any guy who dares to look at you.

He sees you as someone that he needs to protect, a trophy that he won through hard work and nobody is allowed to get close to you.

Why?

Simply because YOU ARE HIS AND ONLY HIS.

The moment you decided to accept him, that was also the time where you sealed an eternity with him.

Ooh, he won't like it when you get too close to some random guy out there. The only men he trusts are his friends, all other boys, a friend of yours or not are all jackasses.

Get ready for a long night when he gets jealous, his possessive side would definitely show itself.

Yunho would ruin you, break you into pieces and he'll make sure to remind you who you belong to.

It will be a rollercoaster or an experience.

One second he's sweet, then the next he'll be pounding into you like there's no tomorrow.

His stamina is crazy so you'll definitely go for hours. Overstimulating or ripping your orgasm away from you. Choking and being rough, groping, licking, kissing, he'll do it all.

You'll learn your lesson by the end of it, his deep voice resonating within your mind, "Do that one more time baby, and I'll make sure that you'll regret it."

You think that you'll do it again, just to rile him up, because his punishments are something you look forward to.

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