#idk. i even ended up destroying some of my art pieces that reminded me of it

[bookwyrminspiration]

i do wonder sometimes! i think having so many desi friends here also reminds me of it too because like. idk it feels similar, some people grew up in the mother country, and then sometimes people talk about how they grew up in places where there is an abundance of street food, which is something my dad talked about getting when he was a kid... but like. i can't really fathom what cambodia would be like now without the khmer rouge. like. there's so much history we wouldn't have lost? so much music and so many movies and like all of this art and history and all these statues that were destroyed? it kind of just makes me feel angry when i think about it now lmao because as much as i wish i could be wistful and imagine what it might have been like. i don't even KNOW. and we can't know because of how many records and films and documents were burned to ash by the cpk. that shit was stolen from us and it wasn't from europe or the wider civilized west, but our own people who decided that they were better than everyone else, and now we are a third world country that is basically just a tourist attraction 👍👍👍 it kind of sucks a lot haha. there's a lot my parents lost too since they were really young when they left, so it's just like, even if they met they wouldn't be the same, so i don't know if i would actually be able to go up against the beauty standards and stuff the way i do now. and also i don't even know if i would have met you guys which would be a whole different kind of sucky tbh!!!! net loss!!! even as much as i wish i knew all those languages from a young age i don't know if it would be a good trade. even if i got to grow up with chickens :/

No yeah that makes a lot of sense! It's like...you want certain aspects of both, the now and the what could have been, but some of the way things and who you are now as a person are are only possible because you lost the what could have been. And trying to reconcile the two and imagine what you lost is still present is near impossible, because they fundamentally cannot exist together. But you still want them to? If all that makes sense

And being around people does remind you of it, because you each have different experiences, different pieces of the overall community/identity, and you can see pieces you wish you had but if you did have them. You wouldn't be you. Yeah I wish I grew up with more mexican foods at home and was taught them instead of learning on my own, but that wouldn't be me, because the me I am has learned the language from scratch on my own and found resources and recipes on my own and etc. so like...to want those pieces and the different options is like wanting to be a different person, and do I want to be a different person? very complicated feelings

Then at the end of the day it's like should I even bother thinking about it when there's literally nothing to be done about it, history and my connection to everything is already in place. I can't change what languages and food I grew up with, where I was born and raised, etc.

Because it's a very emotional topic! There's anger, like you mention, but also so much grief and loss...it's quiet overwhelming. And of course the specific histories for each of us is very different, so I in no way mean to speak for or over your own experiences. This is just what you reminded me of based on what you said and my own reflections. I try not to think about it too often because when I do...oh boy is that a nasty hurt on so many levels

#quil's queries #soryasongsaa #long post #less recent than the rouge i sometimes think about. if mexico hadn't been colonized. all the culture and people lost... #but then we get into the like 'you CAN'T' imagine it #because its such a monumental loss that has shaped everything after it #and then you can also get into the conflicted feeling of being descended from both colonizer and colonized. so it's like #dude how am I supposed to feel about that #anyway. very complicated feelings and topics #that I sometimes indulge in to feel alive. you know how it is #I don't know if I've made any sense in this at all

[ayzrules]

✶ 𝐇𝐗𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 & 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 & 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   Long story short, I have been thinking about this for wayyyyy too long now and wanted to get some ~thoughts~ & analysis written down! This post is going to be...fairly long, lol. Apologies in advance :D

  Also, if you can’t see the last gif (the one for ‘holy’), click here. Tumblr keeps fucking up the image when i try to upload it :////

  This post is probably going to be about 2/3 yorknew & phantom troupe/kurapika focused, 1/3 chimera ants, maybe with some references to other arcs (including manga-only arcs) mixed in. so, ofc, tons of spoilers ahead! also, i realize that my blog theme is hard to read (and i’m p sure clicking ‘keep reading’ sends you to the og post itself), so i’m linking the post w/ full text copy/pasted in on my art backup side blog (which has a more legible font) here. 

✶ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇   I’m sure absolutely nobody is surprised with me starting here - there is just. SO. MUCH. DEATH. in hxh. & right from the start, one thing I noticed that togashi really emphasized was the #4 and its connection to death. in japanese, chinese, and im p sure some other asian cultures the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death so it’s associated with death in general, and boy oh boy does the ‘deadly number 4′ thing show up E V E R Y W H E R E. we get to the hunter exam, and hisoka is applicant #44. kurapika is #404. i didn’t notice it at first, but this was so intentional holy shit. togashi is NOT SUBTLE.

  So pika & hisoka are, right off the bat, associated with death. okay. and then there are even more clues to drive the point home: hisoka is member #4 in the phantom troupe, kurapika’s birthday is april 4th (aka 4/4). 100% not a coincidence (!!). with hisoka, it’s pretty obvious why togashi’s throwing all this death 444444 stuff around - dude is a psycho murder pedo clown, literally gets off on killing people (and there’s also the fact that judas sits 4th from the left in the last supper painting, and he’s sort of the judas equivalent for the phantom troupe). with kurapika, though, it’s a bit more subtle and woven deeper into his characterization, which i LOVE. togashi puts the mans in blue & gold & white (traditionally ‘pure’ or ‘heavenly’ colors), makes him so fucking kind & so good-hearted.....when he’s not relentlessly pursuing his revenge, ofc. more on this in the next section, but pika = death. togashi has made that v v v clear.

  Backtracking a bit to hisoka, though, I also just wanted to point out the 4 is death symbolism in the fortunes too (GOD i love the fortunes): in one translation, he’s the false fourth moon, and in the og japanese (i think), he’s the false hare (4th in the lunar zodiac or w/e it’s called. i don’t know the japanese cultural influences here, but in the chinese legend that established the zodiac animals, they race across the heavenly river & the top 12 animals got zodiac slots. the hare finished 4th, so it’s #4 in the cycle). 

  And just as a final note, Tserriednich is the fourth prince of the kakin empire, and also another dude who has a hard-on for murder & other gory shit. again: togashi is not subtle with this, lmfao

✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘, 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘   As probably everyone who’s gotten to yorknew knows, togashi is so 0 fucks given when he wants to be. I mean there’s the whole thing where he just. took New York and decided, Yorknew. LMFAO, but also, he made the main antag of that arc be named chrollo lucilfer, sit around in a ruined church, have a reversed cross coat, pale & dark-haired/dark-eyed, generally dressed in dark colors, very terrible murder guy. liiiike......chrollo x devil symbolism game is 1000/10 at this point lmaooo

  And i know absolutely nothing about christianity in general, but pt/kurapika & yorknew arc is just so full of christian imagery/symbolism! one thing that i L O O O O O O V E though is how togashi really blurs the traditional christian-coded good/evil, holy/damned boundaries.

  Back to kurapika: he wears gold and blue, his coloring is very stereotypically ‘angelic’, he’s precious and good and kind. his chains are all about ~judgment~ and ~healing~ - some of the chains are also in literal cross shapes, aren’t they? And the chain dagger in his own heart...the imagery is very startlingly similar to the immaculate heart of mary, where the swords stabbing thru the heart apparently represent seven sorrows. IDK much about this stuff other than the visual similarities; literally had to google ‘daggers through heart christianity?’ to even get the name of that thing LOL. anyway, at first, it seems like togashi establishes him as the ‘angel’, the ‘good’, the ‘holy’ in the angel/devil, good/evil, holy/damned dichotomy between him and chrollo.

  But that’s not the end of the story. his entire storyline is driven by a huuuuuuuge giant desire for vengeance, first of all, and then there’s the scarlet eyes, which canonically are seen as demonic/cursed/what have you (according to one of the movies or smth? where they show pika as a 10 y/o?), and then we also have red eyes in modern culture being associated w pretty much the same thing (vampires, anyone?). the fight scene with uvo has everything in b&w besides the blood on his face & his red eyes & the moon (<<< more fortune foreshadowing & symbolism, i love to see it), and there are tonssss of scenes where he has to suppress his rage. so all of that is obviously not very angelic of him i would say LOL. in fact, what i find super interesting is that the scarlet/red eyes (which are ‘demonic’) is actually the driving factor behind his super powerful nen abilities; this ties in so well with the fortunes & death associations imo! the fortunes call him the ‘death-bringer’ in one translation, or ‘half-angel, half-death’, so that’s one side of pika = red eyes = death, but there’s also the fact that emperor time is literally draining his life force. so pika = death for both himself and others namely the pt, question mark?

  Now for chrollo: togashi’s devil symbolism is EXTREMELY overt with him, but i love the subtler jesus references too. the church thing, obviously, and the st. peters cross which is cuz st peter respected jesus too much & didn’t think he was worthy to die in the same way as him (or something like that, i am the most atheist person in the world & hxh is literally my entire christian education pls) but is also used as an anti-christianity symbol these days. bandit’s secret looks like a bible, lbr, and mans has a cross tattoo.

  Other things beyond visuals - 12 spiders, 12 apostles; hisoka’s betrayal, where member #4 can be thought to correspond to judas sitting 4th from left at last supper. and this miiiiight be a bit of a stretch, but i think the meteor city being the place of origin may also play into the blurred line between angel/devil and holy/damned here; meteors are defined as space rocks that are in earth’s atmosphere, becoming incandescent in the process. meteorites are for the kinds that actually reach the ground. and idk, lucifer was cast out of heaven / sky too right? so i think there might be some subtle fallen angel imagery/symbolism playing into the pt as well

✶ 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒)   Last section yay! i don’t have as much to say about this, besides when i was making chimera ant arc edits & realized that there might have been some subtle gon/meruem parallels???

  So obviously, everyone knows that line killua says to gon - “you are light” - and then i was just remembering that meruem’s name means.... “light that illuminates all” (!!!!). maybe it’s a coincidence, but knowing togashi, i’m leaning towards nahhhh. there HAS TO be some kinda meaning there (!!).

  Going back to the events of the chimera ant arc....ooh boy. let’s see: gon is optimistic & hopeful even in the face of kite potentially being dead, killua says he’s light, they find kite & dude is fucked up, gon is pissed. gets all angry & ~dark~, especially during the palace invasion when he’s staring pitou down as she fixes up komugi. then the actual fight against pitou: more darkness, more anger, but through it all there’s still light, namely his jajanken being very orange & fiery lookin.....and that final sequence, where he puts all his possible nen he’d ever have into his ~final form~ or wahtever & turns into a male version of true form!bisky but dressed in a crop top & short-shorts (i am SCARRED, btw. s c a r r e d !). there’s just huuuge flashes of light as that’s going on, and it reminded me of supernovas or dying stars when i was thinking about it, where the star is like, collapsing under its own weight? & burning thru its own fuel, until there’s nothing left except a dwarf or black hole or what have you. one final, extremely deadly burst of light & energy before death.

  On the meruem side of things: born into a dark cave, exhibits a traditionally evil/cruel/wicked/whatever personality/traits so that has ppl associating him with darkness. then he gets to know komugi, starts to appreciate other aspects of humanity, seems like he could have actually turned into a decent person who doesn’t want to eat everyone - so that’s a ‘path to light’, maybe? - and then the extermination team yeets themselves into the palace, netero takes him out to bumfuck nowhere, they fight. netero’s fighting is just ALL light, from his giant ass golden 100-type guanyin bodhisattva to the poor man’s rose. again, there’s the sense of finality to it all, in a similar vein to dying stars: netero comes in determined to kill meruem no matter what, and we all know netero doesn’t flake. then we see netero get destroyed after the zero hand, and he triggers the rose, and everything is burning & on fire before the flames are put out and all turns dark again.

  But wait!!! pouf & youpi revive meruem and all he does is play gungi with komugi, even with the poison of the rose. he eventually dies, and the gungi pieces in that final shot of them together (i am BAWLING just thinking about it holy shit) has one that’s all white, one that’s a black ring and white inside. i assume all white is for komugi, who has never done ANYTHING wrong in her LIFE, so i like to think that the 2nd one is for meruem - born “into darkness”, literally & figuratively, but he turns something like ‘good’ by the end. it’s interesting how togashi has sort of gone for a bit of a subversion here: the hero going from light to darkness, and the main antag from darkness to light.

✶ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍   AahhhhHHHHHhhh so if you read all the way down here through my LONG rambles, tysm! i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, and i’ve FOR SURE missed tons and tons of stuff - chimera ants is just. SO MUCH. and i don’t know it as well as yorknew eeek.

  I’m not sure if i’m really ~knowledgeable~ in any other areas relating to hxh, so this might be the only one of these that i do, but i definitely think about some of this - esp all the religious symbolism & #4 stuff - a ton! so in the meantime, if it’s of any interest, i’m just going to shamelessly plug my hxh x religious beliefs/superstitions edit series :D lots of love to all!!!

#hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh edit #hxh fanart #gon #killua #hisoka #kurapika #gon freecss #killua zoldyck #chrollo #chrollo lucilfer #kurapika kurta #hisoka morow #chimera ant arc #chimera ants #yorknew #yorknew city #shaiapouf #pouf #neferpitou #pitou #meruem #komugi #youpi #hxh analysis #hxh meta #hunter x hunter fanart #hxh graphics #my art

[legionofpotatoes]

alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill

#text #long post #aotd spoilers #aotd critical

[trashystar420]

Chapter 7 Maribat Babysitter AU

“Alright boys.” Bruce looked at his two youngest. Dick and Jason looked into his eyes.

“Try to not destroy anything.”

“Yes sir!”

“Yes Bruce.”

“I have also asked Tim to join you with your time with Marinette.” Said boy also spits out his coffee at the news.

“What I have to-“

“you are burnt out from overworking yourself. A boy your age should be hanging out with people his age.”

“Everyone is too dumb or in it for the money what do you expect of me?!”Tim shouted at the man. But Bruce did not give in.

“Tim, think of this as a forced vacation, for a day. Relax and have fun. And if your looking for intelligent conversations, Marinette will be there.” Tim lit up at that.

“Fine, I guess I get to learn why the brats over here love her.” He gave in, and rubbed Dick’s head, who just giggled at his older brother’s physical affection.

“I’m fine with ole Tim Bolt here,” Jason said while pointing his thumb at said boy.”

“But please do NOT tell me Demon Spawn is joining us.” Dick cowered at the thought.

“He’s so mean to Marinette. He called her a witch.” Bruce sighed, thanking his lucky stars that he did not ask him to join. The man trusts Selina, and now trusts Marinette with keeping the house in one piece. But they’ve only known each other for around 3 weeks. It was tad suspicious that she would ask if she could take the boys out of the mansion.

But having Tim with the three of them, perhaps nothing too serious could happen. It IS Gotham after all.

“Alright Dick, Jason, pack whatever you need and wait by the door, I need to talk with your brother about something else.” The two obeyed and off they went to pack up.

“You think we should get her something, you know for all the baked goods she’s made for us?” Dick asked. Jason lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Dickie that is so considerate and smart!!! Of course you’d think of that. But let’s think about that later ok!” Dick nodded and continued to pack his essentials, comprised mainly his hero get up and his weapons. Jason and his guns as well.

“Alright Bruce what’s up?”

“Has Damien been doing something he is not supposed to be doing?” Bruce asked. Tim gave a thoughtful hum.

“Not that I know of, want me to look into it?” Bruce shook his head.

“No, I just wanted to know if you had any idea.” Bruce finished quickly. Tim gave him a knowing look, but didn’t say anything. Bruce sighed.

“If he does anything I’ll be sure to stop him.” Tim reassured, but that didn’t really help the old bat much.

“Oh and tell Selina I said hi.” Tim teased. Bruce gave a hearty laugh and left the cave. Tim went to the super computer to last minute check the case he was working on involving Lex Luther. And then he found a strange folder he KNEW he did not placed. He clicked it, and it needed a passcode to access. Folder name: Fxtslqpcna

“Okay.... what the hell.” Before he could type a passcode in, Jason yelled for Tim, which sent him running out the bat-cave and change into some casual clothing.

...

...

...

“Alright boys, ready to have some fun!!!” Mari asked, the boys cheered. Tim just rolled his eyes at his brothers antics, and off the four of them went in the limousine, driven by Alfred.

...

...

...

Jason blurted out a ‘woah’ while Dick was in a trance over the many paintings placed on display. Tim could care less, and sipped his 5th cup of coffee.

“Hey wasn’t that your second cup?” Marinette asked in concern.

“Fifth actually.” Marinette did a double take. She released a breathe as though calming herself.

“Tim, listen sweetie.”

“Don’t even try, Alfred and Bruce and heck even Demon Spawn have all tried and failed to convince me on giving up on coffee.” Mari gave him an offended look.

“Excuse me?!? What makes you think I’d convince you to give up God’s Nectar?!?” She spoke scandalized. Tim spits his drink and tried and failed miserably in holding back his laughter. Which had Mari in a fit of giggles herself.

“Just try not to overdo it ok?” And Tim nodded, finishing his drink in peace.

“Woah Pixie Bob check this out!!!” Jason grabbed Mari by the arm and pulled her towards a painting of a woman in a chair.

“Wow look at the shading.” Mari remarked. Jason then pointed to a strange insignia on the lady’s dress.

“Look it’s a Chinese marking.” Marinette turned as white as a ghost. ‘That’s the guardian’s symbol. But this was made by modern artists, alive! What does this mean?’

“Pixie bob, yo Mari you alrite?” The young concerned boy waved his hand in front of the petrified face of the older woman. She shook out of whatever daydream, nightmare?

“Y-yes Jason?” Said boy gave her a look, but chose not to say anything about it.

“Just wanted to let you know Timbolt and Dickie went ahead.” So the two picked up their pace to catch up with the other boys.

“I am very sorry about that Tim, I was supposed to keep up with you two.” Tim chuckled.

“Don’t worry about it Mar-Bear. Dick just really wanted some popcorn.”

“It’s buttered POPCORN!!!!” Dick yelled and jumped on Tim pleading with him if he could get some.

“Ugh ask the babysitter here.” Shaking the puppy dog eyes towards the Bluenette.

“Fine, but don’t get so much, you need to save some room for lunch time ok. Speaking of lunch...” the four left the art museum and started walking towards the dog park.

“I think it’s time for us to eat, what do you all have to say to that?”

“I think we could all have a snack break.” Tim spoke for himself and Jason, who nodded in agreement.

“Anyways Mon Cherrie, why do you like Popcorn so much?” An innocent question, but one that caused Dick to ponder it over. Wondering if he should say it or not. Tim gave a questioning look, while Jason was scarfing down another piece of a delicious quiche.

“I-It reminds me of my biological parents.” No one dared to even breathe another word. ‘Goddammit Marinette Dupain-Cheng why would you say something so stupid’

“Before the... accident.” Dick paused, and took a deep breathe before continuing.

“ My family and I were once part of a circus group. They were acrobats, and they would always make the most elegant performances ever. One day, when the circus was about to open, my parents would always make some pretty good buttered popcorn. It was much better than the one I’m eating, but idk just the taste of buttered popcorn reminds me of those simpler times, ya know. I-I’m not saying I hate being apart of the Wayne family, I love it, I love you guys.” Loving young blue eyes gazed upon his now family. Tim smiled while Jason gave a cheeky grin.

“Anyways that’s why I love buttered popcorn. It always brings me joy.” Marinette wipes a stray tear, and then perks up at another idea.

“Hey Mon Cherrie, why don’t I help you make the best buttered popcorn! We could even try and replicate it! If you want to that is, I mean I’d TOTALLY understand it you don’t and that it might bring up -I’d like that.” Dick interrupted. The bluenette blushed at her stammering, and then hugged the boy. Jason and Tim joined in after Dick and Mari demand the two to join them with the best puppy dog eyes the two could possibly muster.

...

...

...

Damien Wayne got up rather late. He ended up finding himself alone in the mansion, except Alfred, who seemed to be cleaning a closet.

“Hey where is everyone?” He demanded. Alfred places a broom on a corner.

“Master Bruce is on another date with Selina, and your brothers, Master Damien, are with Marinette. She is taking them out for the whole day.” Damien kept his usual expression. But inside he began to panic.

‘This can’t be a coincidence.’ Is all he thought, and stormed off into the bat-cave. It looks like BlackBird will be investigating a certain case. Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

#damien x marinette #marinette dupen chang #maridami #maribat #batfam #batman #miraculous ladybug #older tim drake #older damian wayne #younger dick grayson #younger jason todd #bruce wayne

[kuroshitsuji-scenarios]

Hmm since I can't think of any scenario, would it be alright if I just say a prompt one-liner statement? Haha :(( so hmm how about "But we are no longer just 'dating', because I've already committed myself to you." idk maybe modern sebastian and s/o??¿ heehee if that's fine uwu thanks so much!! 💕

This is wildly out of control from the beginning to an end, enjoy my imgination!

The very least thing you expected to see when arriving to the address Sebastian lived at, was to witness the utter chaos and destruction in his apartment. The open front door allowed you to peek inside from the corridor and notice broken furnitures, devastated kitchen counter and the sofa, seemingly cut thoroughly multiple times until the white balls of the filling scarreted around the room like a freshly fallen snow.

You couldn’t truly comprehend what did the image in front of you meant and what could possibly happen there to cause such a huge amount of damage. Prehaps someone has broken in, prehaps they were looking for something particular, prehaps they did not find it and escaped with nothing, leaving the mess behind. Prehaps Sebastian was not there when it happened, prehaps he managed to run away before they hurt him, prehaps, prehaps, prehaps…

Gulping at the ball which formed in your throat, you pushed the door slightly, carefully looking inside the apartment and listening to even the tiniest noises which coud mean that the burglars were still there—most likely dangerous, armed and not hesitating. The silence, though, proved that there was nothing to be afraid of, not anymore, only the peaceful blows of the wind sliding over the broken window, which was partly laying on the carpet in the milions of small pieces.

What if they hurt him—or even worse? You never doubted Sebastian’s abilities to take care of himself, your boyfriend was quite skilled in the martial arts, after all, but they could have guns or knives and he was most likely not expecting to get attacked in his own home. It was supposed to be your evening together, the wonderful time spend in a restaurant on eating delicious food and drinking until you would feel tired. When he was two minutes late, you started to worry. It was not like him to be late, never, and it could only mean that something truly important happened.

Important or terrifying.

Eventually, you decided to check on him in his own home, to make sure that he simply forgot or had some other place to attend to or that it was all just a simple misunderstanding, something you could laugh off soon. And yet, there you were, the dreadful silence from his apartment being more than a proof that it was the latter reason for his absence.

With trembling hands and jaw clenched tightly, you slipped inside the room and slowly closed the door behind yourself, eyeing the interior and looking for the intruders only to find nothing but the leftovers of what was once his property. The books, the magnificent collection of his books was now of the floor, thrown away like a trash, just like the colourful bottles full of various, centuries old alcohols splattered on the carpet. Even the weird but somehow adorable cat figurines, which were once placed on the shelf, disappeared under the overwhelming chaos. Nothing seemed to be stolen, just stepped upon with the complete lack of respect.

You were taking next steps carefully, not wanting to destroy more than the whole apartment already was, noticing the cuts on the wallpaper and the dark stains on it, as if someone was trying to even burn this place to the ground but the fire did not grow fast enough to consume it all. Who could have done that to him? It could not be any mistake and Sebastian, although bringing the jealously in the hearts of many, did not have any foes—or at least none you would know about.

Every step further, your heart was beating louder and louder, pulsing in your ears with the repetitive thought that Sebastian was still there, lifeless in his bedroom with the sharp blade sinked deeply between his ribs or even worse, the bullet in his head or…

Suddenly frightened, you stood still and listened to your surroundings, fighting the urge to cry, scream or puke from the amount of terrible emotions burning your insides. You did not want to witness him dead, laying on the bed of satin with open, dull eyes staring right at you in the very same place you were once making love, where you were sharing sweet kisses and stealing each others’ breaths in the symphony of your beating hearts. It could not be true, he must have run away while he had the time and the apartment was all empty now, not a single soul at the abandoned battlefield.

Sebastian’s bedroom was, too, hidden under the veil of darkness and the first sight was enough to prove that this place was not spared either. The bed was broken in half, the feathers covering almost every surface, so white they were almost glistening in the contrast with the wood. Looking at the tips of your own feet, you noticed that some of them were laying next to you, fluffy and delicate, and just when you were about to rise your head again and move forward to the bathroom, you noticed that one of them was nowhere like the others.

On the contrary, it was as black as the night, that is why you did not see it at first. Intriguing, considering the fact that the white ones were once stuffing the pillows and you have never seen any black ones nearby—especially not as long as your forearm.

That was, when you heard the rustle and immediately looked at its source, only to find a large frame, hiding deep in the corner, covered with darkness like a second skin. The creature, whatever it was, had its back facing you or at least that is what you thought, considering the lack of any visible eyes. Was it the reason of this whole mess and the tears which were now running down your cheeks? Was it the reason Sebastian did not come for you? Did it kill him?

Its voice was quiet and soft when it spoke, not causing you to jump in fear and sounding more like a calming whisper in your own head.

“I truly did not want you to see me in such a poor state, my love.”

You blinked, confused, but before any sounds managed to escape your mouth, the creature continued.

“Actually, I was hoping that I will make it before 8 p.m., just like I promised. Prehaps I am getting old, after all…”

Another flutter and more feathers fell down on the floor, ink black and much longer than any animal you have ever heard of could lose.

“Sebastian…?” you whispered cautiously. “Is that you?”

“Due to the very unfortunate event, yes. And I beg you, for everything dear to you, leave.”

For a moment, you stopped breathing, only to exhale deeply when the first thoughts of this completely surprising evening were starting to get to your mind, processing slowly but surely. Sebastian was safe and sound and it was all that mattered.

“Are you hurt?” you asked, slowly taking a step closer to him, until you stopped in the middle of the track after hearing the hiss coming from his direction.

“Stay back.”

The curtains were flowing on the wind, bringing the smell of the night sky to your nose and reminding you of an upcoming winter.

“Do not come any closer. Please.”

“What is going on…?” All the bottled emotions seemed to start taking over when you felt the warm tears on your skin once again. You could not understand anything what was happening right now and it felt like a horrible, neverending dream, a nightmare you could not wake up from. “Tell me what is going on.”

Sebastian remained silent and it hurt you more than a slap on the cheek. You were so lost, so scared and you needed answers, right now and there. You loved him, after all, and you could never possibly just leave. Building all your courage up, you wandered to him, avoiding the broken glass and the dark feathers, this time not hearing any kind of objections from him. When you were barely few steps away, you noticed that the strange creature disappeared and there, in the shadows, was indeed, your Sebastian, sitting on the floor with a bloody dress shirt and the tie hanging miserably at his neck.

At this point, he was not a lesser mess than his apartment.

He looked up at you when you approached him and slowly kneeled next to him, looking for any kind of fatal wounds.

“I am so sorry, my love” he muttered barely audiably. “I swear I did not want you to find me there, especially not now.”

“Who did this to you?” Seeing his familiar face made you bolder and caused the unknown fear to slowly fade away. “Goodness, you can not just leave it like that, you are bleeding!”

“It is just a scratch, it really is,” Sebastian emphased the last word when he noticed that you were already willing to stand up and call an ambulance. “I will tell you everything if you promise me to calm down and not do anything reckless.”

“Since when is calling the help reckless?” you asked, but his serious gaze was enough to remind you about his words. He was not dying, that much you could tell and if he wanted to explain to you what was the meaning of all of that, then maybe you should allow him to. It is not like you could easily explain this all to the police either.

“Do you promise?”

“I do,” you nodded and the corners of his lips twitched in a faint smile.

And so, he did told you the truth—both about him and the creatures sent to kill him in the name of the almighty. You were listening to him without interrupting, staring at his pale face and lips which were speaking such a weird words. With every passing moment, it felt more like a dream and less like a reality, especially since the time around you seemed to stop only to allow you to listen to him—the real him, someone you had, apparently, did not know until now.

Finished, Sebastian waited for your answer or any kind of reaction. Fear? Disgust? Anything would be better than your blank stare and the dreadful expectation. Prehaps he has made a mistake by telling you all of that, maybe your mind was not ready for all those revelations and yet, it felt right to finally be honest with you. Whatever will you do with this informations was not his concern anymore.

“I should tell you to leave now once again,” he stated. “But goodness, I am so selfish and I can not help but want to beg you to stay. Despite of all you have heard of, stay by my side, because I have never met anyone as significant as you. What I showed you before, since the day we met, was not a lie, not even for a moment, but simply an untruth. And if you were as honest with me, as I am with you now then please, stay with me a little bit longer.”

“Always a silver tongue, huh?” you commented and Sebastian could not tell whether you were mocking him or not. It was the shine in your eyes and your cold fingers, now slowly entangling with his which showed him that you did not plan on running away. “Maybe I am selfish, too, but it seems like now we are no longer just dating, because I have already committed myself to you, utterly, wholly and completely.”

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #sebastian michaelis #sebastian michaelis x reader #sebastian michaelis imagine #sebastian #scenarios #demons #queue

[misterbitches]

i just so deeply believe (and im right) that capitalism and putting a best face forward destroys art and also your will to want to create. the things that people make, that most people know about, become popular because industries pick people they know will comply, or need money, or are naive enough to think they can get what they want. 

there’s no reason productions should be that expensive and draining on crew members (i care less about actors bc i am a crew member and guess what actors just sit around all day sorry not sorry and i was one :P) but i always say: the little progress we make, is it really progressive? transgressive? 

and how could it be? how could it b ewhen companies refuse to relinquish themselves and break themselves up into parts. a web series could give people so much more freedom, but that is a whole lot more of a difficulty. i’ve made my own shorts (that i hate) and said what i wanted to say and even the pressure from how my school would receive it fucked up my psyche. 

and it takes so long for people who refuse to be stifled and be obsessed with this capitalist nightmare to get their shit released. if they get really popular still theyre not rolling in money (as they should not be) but they struggle to get shit together bc it’s harder to work with someone whose vision is opposed to this white supremacist garbage nightmare. 

i have a theory about parasite which is that SK has a totally different history with labor and capital than my country (US) does and it was done with that in mind and as an ttack on imperialism very clearly. that movie is not without its flaws, which can be discussed, but to date next to sorry to bother you which i havent seen it’s pretty much the most antagonistic film about that subject i’ve seen in a while. 

and in SK there’s tons of queer cinema (i may be exaggerating) but a lot of it is very gritty or uncomfortable (i am going to try and find this list my friend made of good sk queer cinema i think? or just n gen) and western gay shit is so popular overseas bc there’s a plethora of (BAD OR ANNOYING MOVIES I HATE CAROL) to go off of and see. a lot of international lesbians, for ex, really are into like hwood gay films or some shit bc that’s also what they can access and consume (let’s not get started on that fuckin dichotomy of man/woman but w/e) 

i wish i could be more cheerful and positive. it’s not that i don’t want to have fun or escape or watch these shows, in fact i do, and there’s legitimate shock when you see sth like ITSAY and it’s a beautiful cinematic experience. oh and on top of that i hate most TV and most TV is trash and films are better. imo ITSAY is like a movie split. 

why do we keep having hope in these systems? what i want in the future, because theyre not going away, is for more corps to reach out to collectives and diff types of filmmakers or artists and support them without making them stick to a contract and not do what they want. UNFORTUNATELY that’s really not how anyone feels like working. 

in my belief, at a time like right now, we have to be clear about not accepting austerity from the relief and to not fall into the trap of advancement via cultural artifacts. it’s bullshit—we fight against it. that doesn’t mean we can’t get excited when shows have things to say but i refuse to withhold critique because it’s so necessary in every piece

btw there’s this filmmaker called Park Kyoung Mi and though she’s married to this irish dude (who i think is like a professor of social theory idk) she was an AD to park chan wook (also a socialist) and a great filmmaker. in each of her works there’s a focus on women and queer themes of women and teens and their isolation and subsequent connections with each other. how men let them down, how you have to band together, the scariness of growing up. she made this miniseries for netflix called “school nurse files.” SNF was a book, it was written by a woman and its about desire, loss, and conformity, particularly for teenagers. there’s lots of queer themes and adult themes that  make it so we understand the precious lives of teenagers and how they need love and guidance instead of being shunned and pit against each other. 

it’s one of my favorite miniseries. netflix has this habit of picking up shows and telling NO ONE about them or very little advertising (it’s diff for south korean shows i think since a lot of production companies may come on board) and then canceling them. it is for a LEGIT reason which is MONEY!!!! but the director said she said yes bc she was given complete control and without it she would refuse. she also said she couldn’t get work or was feeling like the work she was doing was terrible (and in the reviews of the show or explanations about her it was always beginning with “PCW’s protege”) but she almost quit bc the pressure hrut and whittled at her

atp we need to take advantage of these systems if we have things to say and not let them take advantage of us. unfortunately, the opposite happens because people need work, have things to say whethere they’re shallow or not, and CONSTANT production means work and BS. this is how i feel about pretty much all industry and i’m the least critical of BL as opposed to say, kpop, or uhhhhhhhhh any celebrity ever bc it DOES have an edge over others but it’s an edge that they can barely fucking reach for or do well with. 

nothing and i mean nothing abou oversaturation and constant production will yield results that are going to be radical and “good” bc we’re approaching things ass backwards. the norm isn’t the ones that hurt you, the ones that stay with you, the ones that mean something. the norm is the bullshit you have to parse through. and even for things that do a great job of storytelling they still have their flaws or still have to buy into a system eventually, if the work calls for it, that they would long to eschew

if anyone sees this read this profile on arthur jafa, a prolific DP who i got the pleasure of seeing live AYYYY, and what he has to say. he left filmmaking then came back on his own terms and frankly i believe that’s just...what we have to do if we want to make a better world. that’s just me personally but this is my counterbalance to a fallacy that a work is revolutionary when it has zero intention of being so or will lie about its intention to save itself

this piec is called ARTHUR JAFA’S RADICAL ALIENATION and it reminds me of all the artists—particularly thai—i’ve seen that have had this radical alienation or refuse to water down their message and people will deal

i present one of my fav pieces  i’ve read frm the past year (it’s from 2014 but i read it end of 2019 when i was questioning me future) Radical Art is an Act of Uncompromising Passionate Resistance

#a thot

[yasmeensh]

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link - The lore

I know this is an art blog but i can’t contain myself and I need to talk about zelda2 lore. Why? You all heard about the botw sequel being darker, much darker. And people made connections to Majora’s mask, because it was a dark sequel. But you know what? Zelda 2 was also a dark sequel. Nintendo are doing it for a THIRD time and I'm proud. Sit tight and maybe grab a snack because this will probably be a long passion essay. Here we go.

Most of you MIGHT be familiar with the storyline of Zelda2, but in summary, here is how it goes: Princess Zelda from an ancient time has been put to spell by a curse. Only the power of the full triforce touched by a pure heart can wake her. Finally after hundreds of years, the chosen one came along (Link). Link must place 6 crystals in 6 palaces to break the spell on the Great palace where the Triforce of courage is enclosed. Once there, he takes the triforce, completes it with the other two pieces, and wakes zelda up. The End.

And Here is the story in MORE detail (unless you are in a hurry , I recommend you read it. The top summary is just for people who have no clue what the story is:

    The king of hyrule always passes down the power of the triforce to his son next-to-be-king. This time however, he wants to give it to his daughter, Zelda, because he believes she is wiser and more considerate than the son. The son was very upset about it and has summoned a wizard to scare the princess and give up the triforce to him. The wizard however, overcome with hatred towards zelda, uses all his magic to put her to an eternal sleep, and he dies (only recently in the hyrule historia has the identity of the wizard been revealed: he is a follower of Ganon, or an embodiment of ganon himself (sort of like ghost ganon in oot or blight ganons in botw. So in this case he might have not died but just extinguished all his powers)). The son, overcome with grief for his sister, promises that every girl born into the Royal family henceforth will be named Zelda. He locks the triforce of courage far away, so only those worthy of it will be able to access it, and leaving the remaining two in the castle, unable to use its full power.

Hundreds of years have passed by and no worthy hero came by, until now. On his 16th birthday, Link noticed that a mark resembling the triforce glowed on his left hand. Worried and Confused, he goes to seek information on it from Impa. She tells him that he is the hero chosen to save the sleeping princess Zelda. She gave Link a scroll written in ancient text that only the true hero can read to ensure that he is in fact the chosen one. Link was able to read it despite never seeing that language before. The Great Palace where the triforce of courage lies is locked with a spell. The spell comes from 6 different temples, and he must break part of the spell at each temple so he can open the gates of the Palace. To do that, A crystal must be placed in each, and that is exactly what he does.

While Link is going on his journey, the minions of Ganon are going after him, trying to capture him and use his blood to revive Ganon (It’s unclear if they want him alive or dead, or simply his blood. All we know is they want to use Link’s blood in a sacrifice to bring Ganon back from the dead). If Link dies, Ganon will be revived, so he must remain alive. At the end of the trial to the triforce of courage, Link was made to fight his own shadow by the triforce keeper. After defeating his shadow, he made the triforce whole again, wished for the curse on Princess Zelda to break, and she woke. The End.

Now that is my extensive summary on the official story. Obviously I will fill in now MY theories on some points. My biggest point is Link fighting his shadow. Why did Link have to fight his shadow? Why was Link not ready to touch the triforce? He already went through ALL the trials, so why this now? My theory is that Link’s heart was not pure. Only a pure heart must touch the triforce. A corrupted heart will corrupt the world when the triforce is touched, no matter what the wish is. Link was most likely the chosen hero, but he is not completely pure. I believe Link was made to fight his shadow as a final step to touching the triforce; to cleanse his heart from any evils that are in it. Why would Link be evil and corrupt? I don’t know, but that’s hella dark.     Another point, that can be connected to BoTW, is Link’s death, and the revival of Ganon. If you played AoL before, then you are familiar with the red screen of death and Ganon’s evil laughter. Well, if Link dies, that means Ganon will return. That means Link should NEVER die. But he is not a god or eternal deity. He will die at some point during his journey after the events of the game or simply from old age, or whatever. He will die. At this point, if the people of Hyrule really want Ganon to remain dead, then Link should simply disappear once he dies. If he were to be buried, they have to hide his body somewhere the monsters will NEVER reach. I have no idea where that could be: the dungeons of hyrule castle? Something similar to the Great Palace? Maybe. The better option is to burn him, but I don’t know if people in Hyrule do that (they probably should in this case because yikes Ganon)

Where am I going with this? I’m not sure, but It vaguely reminded me of Ganon(dorf) coming back to life in the new BoTW trailer. Who was he even? A new ganondorf? Or one we already know?

Lets go back… what about AoL Link’s death? Another option for keeping Link out of the hands of Ganon’s minions is for him to never die. To be absolutely safe, protected, and strong enough to protect himself, and to live eternally. And I know the people of hyrule (at some point) will have that technology available, because BoTW Link was revived after his death. Link can probably die countless of times and still continue to live because of that shiekah tech. Now about the tech, AoL seems too middle ages, right? WELL… this is going to sound dumb but the temples in AoL have elevator thingies in them. Shiekah technology? Maybe. It could be a manual pulley system. Or pure magic. We don’t know, but we are a step closer at least.

BASICALLY i see a lot of similar points between these two games and idk if nintendo accidentally did that or took inspiration from aol but its cool that these two games share the concept of the kind of tragedy hyrule will go through if link dies and the idea of Ganom coming back to life.     Why am I even getting into BoTW… let’s get back to AoL lore! If you played AoL, you might be familiar with the Link dolls. Dolls that save Link from death (i.e extra lives) those dolls are pretty creepy and they look like a tiny hunched over limb Link. They are scattered throughout all of hyrule, and you find them in random weird places, like at the beach, in a swamp, inside a temple, in a cave, near a graveyard, forest, etc. They are everywhere. Who put these dolls there? No one knows. But someone is totally trying to save Link from dying on his journey. If he dies, Hyrule is screwed. Could it be Goddess Hylia? The fairies? A magician? Link Dolls are extremely strange and Nintendo could have gone more in depth on them because they provide some super cool dark lore.

Also we can’t forget about Kasuto Town. All the inhabitants of the town went to camp in the forest because their town was destroyed. Why? No one knows, again (everything in this game is shrouded in mystery). There is only a single man living there in old Kasuto. Kasuto town is entirely destroyed, all the buildings are decaying and crumbling, the air looks nasty and the sky is purple. There are ghosts EVERYWHERE. And if Link didn’t acquire the cross before entering, he will not see the ghosts at all and will just die from being hit by what looks like air. Now the civilians! The civilians are hiding in the forest! In-game, you will never be able to find them unless you hit a random block of grass with the hammer, and then it will appear. They are well hidden. Something must have destroyed their town, something terrifying, and they are hiding from it. The entire population has gone to hide in the depths of the forest. Now I have a theory that these people COULD be related to the shiekah. Those people are magic experts. You learn something called The Spell in old kasuto. And in new kasuto, you use this spell to raise a small temple from the GROUND to get the key in it (idk man but reminds me of the shrines) You also receive the final magic container there. So, yeah, those people definitely have a magic obsession or *super powers*. (i’m hinting at it but these people could be the shiekah). Also one more thing, these people are begging Link to save hyrule. They are the only people who are begging him to do something. They know HE will save hyrule. In all other towns, it only seems like Link is asking for advice and they answer Link is a random nobody. However, the people of Kasuto are AWARE. (shiekah much? idk)

This is not too lore-y but it’s about how dark this game is: there is so much red in it. Game over screen is red. The lining of the triforce on Link’s hand is red. The windows in the temples are stained red (blood?). The Tinsuit sprites have fresh blood dripping down their swords. Also, sleeping Zelda’s dress is red. I can’t brush that off. Whenever I think of AoL I think of the colour red. There is so much to say about AoL... But what I want to say is that this game is HELLA dark. I hope Nintendo uses its lore in future games, and adds references, because it can totally work if they try to. This game has a lot of lore material to work with. Nintnedo should consider expanding on it (and botw was inspired by loz1, it would only make sense if the sequel will mirror the original loz sequel too :3)

PLEASe share your ideas! I’d love to hear what you all think! There are many ideas to go around so share your thoughts! And one last thing, AoL is very difficult. If you want to try it, be prepared to see the colour red a lot, cry a lot, and rage quit a lot.

Thank you for reading my very long post! Enjoy your day <3 <3 <3

#spent 3 hours of precious exam studying to writing this #loz #legend of zelda #the legend of zelda #zeldaii #zelda2 #aol #adventure of Link #botw #breath of the wild #botw 2 #long post #text #essay much? #maybe #i had to let it out I'm sorry i love this game too much

[ghostmartyr]

But like...what if Ymir IS the hooded figure it’s a major longshot but we know nothing about them right?? Idk about the watermelon art BUT I’m just saying I still think she might not be dead so who knows 🤷‍♀️

I am Team Ymir is Zeke’s Hostage, but heeeeey.

In this world, whatever major thing that happens that makes Eren switch it up with his brother and go ape, Historia’s in on it, and part of the thing is that Zeke shoves Ymir back on the island as an act of good faith, and it’s like, well gee, killing him off now would kind of be a dick move, but when has that ever stopped the top brass, hey NPC farmer guy, have you ever considered the grand tradition of ~*acting*~? and Ymir’s all watching from the shadows because really, we’re trusting some farmer boy who can’t even grow his own to be your beard alsoifhetouchesyouhe’sonmylist.

In my wildest fanfic dreams, NPC farmer guy has a boyfriend who is very Unhappy about his guy playing house with some girl (“dear, she’s the queen” “and since when am I fucking not?!2?”), and Historia keeps having to remind them to stop making out where there are windows, and also NPC farmer guy and NPC farmer guy’s boyfriend are like flipped versions of her and Ymir and it makes her heart ache, but she swears to both of them they will make it through this, and she will officiate their wedding, and it’ll all be fine.

All I’m saying is that if we’re doing beards, we should play them classic.

Then because it’s Attack on Titan, in the final stages, things start going wrong, and NPC farmer guy ends up killed, and Historia is just about destroyed from the guilt, because she promised to keep these guys safe, then destroyed again by watching NPC farmer guy’s boyfriend fall to pieces, because oh does she know this pain, and it’s torture.

In this version of the story, that is when she finally is reunited with Ymir.

NPC farmer guy’s widow survives to walk her down the aisle. At least one wedding will live to be more than just a dream.

.

Giving me a keyboard was such a mistake, wow.

#attack on asks #me probably: #'killing half of a couple off for tragedy is the best unless it's one I'm emotionally invested in' #maybe npc farmer guy is only really really hurt

[brotherskywalker]

Ship meme

Since no one ever sends me asks, I’ll just answer everything. :D

what is your absolute favorite ship?

Obviously Luke/Leia.

what ship do you hate most?

In Star Wars Reylo. On average, I dislike rivalry pairings. Anything where two characters who canonically hate or dislike each other are inexplicably one of the largest ships in fanon defying all logic. (Harry/Draco, Hermione/Draco, Doctor/Master, Kylo/Rey, etc.)

what was your first ship, and what fandom is it from?

Billy/Kim from the original Power Rangers, probably. Though I like Star Wars before then, I didn’t “ship it.”

explain why do/don’t ship [pairing]

Since I’m answering this for myself, I’m going to go with “do” and “Luke/Leia.” For me, it’s because they’re so good to each other, and for each other. They make each other better people, and that’s always a huge plus for me in pairings I ship. Additionally, they have such an intense connection that I think is just beyond compare to any other pairing--connected through the Force and connected because they’re twins. It makes their relationship able to become so intense and deep.

how did you start shipping [pairing]?

Once again going with Luke/Leia. I shipped them as a kid. I liked Luke and I wanted him to get the girl. I didn’t (and still don’t) understand why Leia would be interested in the scoundrel that constantly belittled her, insulted her, and disrespected her. I always thought that once Luke matured and grew up and dealt with his Daddy Issues he and Leia would hook up (and she’d realize her initial instincts about Han were right). I thought it’d be a really nice growth arc for both of them. When it turned out that they were twins (as an attempt to resolve the love triangle) I thought, as a kid, that it wasn’t a good enough reason for them not to be together since they were clearly the healthier pair... and turns out I still feel that way.

is there a ship that you used to ship, but don’t anymore?

There are ships that I  used to be passionate about a lot but which I’m not super passionate about anymore, but I don’t know if there are any that I stopped shipping... Maybe Willow/Oz from Buffy. Not because I don’t think they were great together (they’re still one of my favorite pairings) but because canonically they broke up and Willow came out as a lesbian, which makes me still shipping Willow/Oz... complicated.

what’s a ship you like that most people don’t?

lol... Luke/Leia? I also liked Kirk/McCoy from the TOS which is uncommon among Spock/Kirk and Spock/McCoy shippers, I guess.

what’s a ship you hate that most people like?

Tenth Doctor/Rose. Also, every ship listed in “what ship do you hate most?”

what is the most underrated ship, in your opinion?

LUKE/LEIA. I get why it’s not huge ship in the face of Han/Leia, but the fact that it’s so small is really baffling to me. I think if Star Wars came out today it’d be a much bigger ship.

what is the most overrated ship, in your opinion?

Of all time? I have no idea... Reylo is definitely up there. Maybe the Twilight characters.... all of them....

do you prefer [pairing] as an otp, brotp, or notp?

Ugh, some of these are so hard to do on my own lol. Pass. Feel free to send me an ask if you have a specific pairing for this you want to ask.

why do you think [pairing] is so popular?

I’ll go with “Reylo” for this. Honestly, I wish I knew. Han/Leia I think is popular because Harrison Ford is attractive and Carrie Fisher is attractive, so they’re easy to see together. Men can self-insert into Han and “get the girl” and women can self-insert into Leia and “get the hot dude.” And since they’re canon it’s handed to you on a silver plate (so long as you don’t think too hard about it)... Reylo... idk. Daisy is attractive, but Adam Driver is not. But I guess he’s attractive enough for lots of people to want him? I think there’s a large group of women out there that into the “bad boy” (as evidenced by the popularity of stuff like Hermione/Draco, Twilight, 50 Shades, etc.). They’re all permutations of the same thing. For some reason that stuff is popular, and I think Reylo is a variant on that... It has no basis in canon (just like Hermione/Draco), but the fans want to see their self-insert save the bad boy, and maybe be corrupted into sexual funtimes as well. I’m sure someone’s written a dissertation on it. Maybe the women want to be corrupted in order to be allowed to enjoy their sexuality since society tends to give women shit for being sexually promiscuous. I honestly have no idea.... everything about Reylo is vile to me.

why do you think [pairing] isn’t popular?

I’ll go with Luke/Leia here. I’d say is 1 part “ewww incest”, 1 part “but Han/Leia are canon!!!!111″ and 1 part “Luke is a whiny gayboy.”

rate [pairing] from 1-10 and explain why

Ugh, pass. Feel free to send in an ask for a pairing if you want.

what’s your favorite headcanon of [pairing]?

I’ll go with Luke/Leia. I have so many headcanons... A favorite for me is that they both feel like they’ve been searching for “something” all their lives and that “something” is their other half/twin, and they’re constantly trying to feel whole. One of the only times they really feel whole is when they make love together.

what’s your favorite canon moment of [pairing]?

Going with Luke/Leia again. So many great moments. My choice would probably change any day of the week... but the one that immediately comes to mind is just the moment on the Death Star II when Vader threatens Leia and that’s what pushes Luke over the edge. (But I also love all the soft touches between them--Leia kissing him on the Falcon after he loses his hand on Bespin, and the way her body presses into him at the Endor party after he sees the ghosts.)

favorite AU ideas for [pairing]?

Luke/Leia again. Lots of AU ideas, but one I’ve thought about a lot is the timeline had extended just a bit--Luke and Ben got dropped of on Alderaan before it was destroyed and Luke and Leia could’ve met in a more natural (but still serious about-to-go-to-war setting). Luke trained as a Jedi on Alderaan under Obi-Wan, Luke and Leia got to become friends (with Bail and Obi-Wan freaking out about whether or not they should tell them the Truth), and then Plot happening to prevent it. Also Han gets his money on Alderaan and goes and pays Jabba and lives happily ever after.

rant about [pairing]

Send me a pairing if you want, but I can’t go off on nothing.

what’s a meme/quote that reminds you of [pairing]?

Send me a pairing, but I’m really, really bad about stuff like this.

what song(s) remind you of [pairing]?

Did I mention I’m really, really bad about stuff like this? Don’t send me this one, I won’t have an answer, not even for LL.

what kind of dates do you think [pairing] would go on?

For Luke/Leia it would depending on whether other people knew they’re twins and/or if other people know if incest is super taboo. In a perfect world, I think they’d do sweet dates... like strawberry picking or the space equivalent. I’m sure occasionally they’d go to trendy restaurants and stuff, but I think they’d both be most happy at like... a farmer’s market, dancing around the hay bales, buying fresh roasted corn, sharing a shaved ice, maybe a little ice skating, etc. Simple life after the war.

realistically, do you think [non-canon pairing] will ever be canon? why or why not?

Let’s go with Reylo. No. I really don’t. There’s no way. It’s unsatisfying on every level, and narrative makes no sense. If they wanted Kylo to have a redemption arc, they blew it with The Last Jedi. The ending of that movie is Rey running into Finn’s arms, so the only realistic romantic that could happen in IX is Finnrey.

have you ever written fanfiction/drawn fanart of [pairing]? would you consider it?

For Luke/Leia, yes. Yes, I have. I’ved posted most of the art I’ve drawn of them under #my art, though I’ve only done like... three pieces.

any other questions?

Feel free to send any in if you have any.

#meme #star wars #luke/leia #luke x leia #lukeleia

[questionthebox]

Ok so I’m home again. Went on a 3 hour walk with a friend of mine.

Smoked two joints on the walk.

I’m high. So I want to get that out of the way.

I’m sitting at my table watching

Superman Red Son on HBO Max

And

I think 🧐 I finally understand myself

I know who I am now.

And I want to say something

If you go on my Instagram

son_of_bechet

There’s a video of me getting a tarot reading

From a witch,

And she says there are going to be people who betray me,

And I now understand what she means.

Idk if it’s because I’m a writer/artist

But in these wilderness years I’ve attracted some weirdos

Now that I realize it,

And I’m tired of that, I don’t want that anymore

I don’t want to be taken advantage by people who in actuality are pieces of shit,

And In this I’m realizing how I’ve attracted people with mental health issues,

And when you’re entangled with those kinda people

They like to play these weird little games, and then try to tell you they don’t want a relationship with you in a romantic way

And it’s like ewwww

Because I’m me,

This isn’t the kinda life I should be involved in

And

Over the past 5 years I’ve come out of that life

In every kinda way

But now, as of tonight thanks to this clarity

I can say yeah I’m done with that shit,

I’m an adult now, that’s not cute,

Also as I watch

Superman Red Son

What he says to Louis about

The capitalist system of the United States

It’s true

Irregardless of whatever was going on

In

The USSR

And the sinister thing about this movie,

And

American society itself

Is that it can never take seriously

Or

Give legitimacy to Reality,

So of course the Russians in this movie

Have to be “unrealistic”

The United States and it’s people

Hate reality,

And to tie this into myself

I’ll admit to something

I’m a fucking weirdo here

I’ve been a weirdo,

Like I’m attractive, I’m exciting I’m courageous

And funny

And it attracts people here,

But it only attracts them

Because I’m a weirdo

Who actually thinks about life

And takes life seriously

So people routinely tell me

“Wow Anthony your so plugged in”

And it’s like yeah

Because I don’t watch celebrities and whatever the fuck you people are on,

You people literally are so propagandized

It’s pitiful

Like if your an American

And you’ve been to other countries

You know what I mean

The rest of the world lives in reality

And authentic culture

Where as our society in America

Is insane, cartoonish and driven literally by celebrity narratives and lives,

To the point we think that

A lesbian soccer player deserves to be paid

Like Lebron James

And that’s somehow a feminist and populist issue,

Like in our society

Lizzo showing her morbidly obese body on Instagram

Is a big deal, and somehow populist and representative of the people.

And the younger people

The gen z kids

Are conditioned to this shit,

Gen Z kids will like images of celebrities

Because they view it almost as a “lifestyle fashion”

And that shit is NUTS

How people live in these convoluted narratives and images here

Are nuts.

And I’m now financially able to, and capable of

Bouncing

From this shit,

And so I’m going to stack my money

And bounce,

I don’t find anything good here

And I don’t really like the people whatsoever

The people here are so uneducated and dumb

It’s just awful to be around

And the energy is dead everywhere

In college it’s dead,

Frequently I would talk with my professors about why no one in class speaks and engages

And

Now that I’ve graduated and am removed from that environment I understand why,

It’s because they don’t know anything else,

Like once I remember hearing those people in there

Talk about “baby yoda” and it’s very very surreal

So this leads me to another realization

Like

Henry Miller before me,

I’ve realized I’m a “European”

Jesus fuck I am,

I think about all the shit I’ve gravitated to

Since I was a baby,

And it’s European in origin

Why ?

Because Europe has a “sexual life force energy”

To it, that is a musk of so much authentic culture and personality

So wide ranging

From truly evil men like Hitler

To truly complete geniuses like Da Vinci

To truly incomparable academics like Hegel and Marx,

To great Queens & Kings

Generals etc

Like

America isn’t my vibe at all,

America is mediocre

It’s as Henry Miller called it

The Air Conditioned Nightmare 

America and it’s people are truly a blight on the world,

And the rest of the world understands this,

But then doesn’t fully understand

What Americans are capable of

So I’ll tell you

These people here are crazy nihilists who hate reality and hate life

And they’ll do anything to spread that around

So that nothing genuine exists anymore

And these people if they aren’t

Destroyed

They will destroy life on planet earth

Trust me I’ve been around

Americans my whole life

I know what they are,

They feed off of mediocrity and hate,

And they see the world as “barbarians”

And they chiefly hate

The Educated

The cultured

The passionate and vibrant,

They look at every other place on earth

As Barbarians,

Because Americans don’t understand

Beauty, and the lack of noise,

Which reminds me earlier I was at Walmart

And I ended up leaving prematurely not buying anything

Because I couldn’t take the noise

The place was so loud and busy

And that’s how America is,

Everything is sped up and loud and fake

With people talking to each other

As a response to celebrity social media culture

I’ll put it like this

I’m Puerto Rican I’m Latino

And I ain’t never used the term

LatinX

None of my Latino friends or family use it

I asked one of my Latino friends days back

If he uses it and he told me he didn’t even know what the fuck I was talking about.

I feel as though this year

I’ve arrived in my own skin.

Be it that my life has changed so much

From the darkness I was in for the vast majority of my 20’s

But I’ve grown up

And I am present in my body,

And in my Name,

I like who I am

And I love myself

And I know what and who I need to be around

Life’s a trip,

Even more so when you have a brain,

And you use it,

And I don’t like the ordinariness of life

I don’t like being a normal person

I’m too talented

My vision too grand,

Like and this ties into me being a weirdo here

But you know I’ve been great at sex since I was a teenager

Like I made one of my first girlfriends cum

21 times in one night,

Which I’ve alluded to in my poetry in the past

By saying I touched foot on her island,

And I’m not boasting,

And here’s another thing

I only attract baddies

I’ve never had an ugly woman

I’ve never attracted anyone ugly

I’ve been lucky to always have been me

And it goes to what one of my best female friends once said about me

“You have a great personality”

And I do

But it’s because im a European

Im like

Rimbaud im like Baudelaire

Im like Picasso

Caesar

The Borgia pope

Fedrecick the great

Like im all those people

And im also

A woman, im sensitive and loud like a woman

I’m passionate like a woman

And it’s why I only attract baddies

I am me !

I wear skirts I bought off hot topic

With John fluevog boots

And I have blue curly hair,

Whatever difficulties I’ve experienced

We’re only because literally

My family collapsed,

And I understand that I wouldn’t be the writer and artist that I am

Without experiencing what it was like to be poor and at the bottom

And to know people from that,

But obviously that’s not me,

And I’ve grown out of

The issues of my family,

The reason why I’ve posted dark stuff

In years prior

Was simply because my life

Had cratered when my mom left

And I had literally went insane

And I neglected myself and my life

But that shits over,

It’s way in the past,

And I seldom think about it

Even though I know

It’s why people I pushed people away,

But here’s another thing

I pushed a lot of people away when I was in that darkness

But for some reason these people still have me in Facebook

And follow me on Instagram

And it’s fucking strange

But I know why

It’s because they fell in love with me,

And they can’t forget me,

Even as they have conflicted or negative feelings about me

They want to see my art,

#poets on tumblr #my thoughts #my musings #diary #personal diary #writers on tumblr

[ellipsesarefun]

Otayuri Fic Recs #2

References: Summary, Thoughts, * (Complete) Note: This has been sitting in drafts for quite some time and the ones that were WIP are now complete. If you do want an Otayuri Fic Mayhem for the day, or week, or month for your vacation, here’s the second fic rec!

First Fic Rec is HERE.

1. A Heart Beats At Night by  magicalyoyo  >>  Otabek’s heart was pounding a sickening, dizzying rhythm, but he schooled his face into stoicism as he pulled his helmet off to get a better look. “Yuri Plisetsky died two years ago,” he growled. “What the hell are you?” >> ANGST, ANGST, DRAMA, THEN FLUFF. Full of supernatural beings and jargon. I might re-read this again, because I skipped some parts to gush and weep over the Otayuri angst and fluff moments. I missed the other portion of the story, but this is a great read! Several chapters to look forward to.

2. * Anatomical Accuracy by  Fayina (Dayea)  >>  Yuri has a secret talent in drawing, and he'd be damned if Otabek finds out about his shameful collection of the Kazakh's portraits. Oh and his skype call with Mila and Sara is getting out of hand. >> This suits me. Why? Because I’m a sucker for anatomy (and because I’m in a Bio course with a slight art enthusiasm that I would be completely immersed into AU’s such as this one) and because I love College and Roommate AU’s. With Pining, of course. 

3. Break Me Down, Down, Down by  legolifesaver >> Yuri refused to let anyone call his videos “pointless”. He spent too much of his time on them and he wasn’t about to let some asshole question him.orYuri runs a fashion channel, Otabek makes covers, and they both meet in the middle. >> A Youtube AU. This AU’s rare for this pairing, but i’m not sure.. I’ll probably scavenge for more if I missed any. Three chapters in and my brains already spewing daydreams all over the place for this couple!!

4. More Than He Bargained For by  FollowYourDreams  >> Yuri made one mistake. One. But, since it resulted in police bringing him home, his parents put their foot down. Now, he's being sent away for the summer to learn his place. He'll be staying with the Altin family and learning from their son, Otabek.Aka, the one where Yuri is a rebellious shit and ends up spending the summer with Otabek and falling in love and shit. >> First heavy fic I’ve read for this pairing. There is a ton of dense and tear-drenched backstory for Yuri and he needs all the XOXO’s he can get and that’s from Beka himself. My heart kept tearing itself in pieces for my smol little son. Also, I adore a literature enthusiast Beka. Brilliant mentions for Jane Austen and Ernest Hemmingway (if you do want some classics, you could dive in to Ernest Hemmingway’s stories; maybe even a John Steinbeck?).

5. On the Cusp of Dawn by  LoveActually_rps  >> Otabek bowed to the new Prince and offered the flower crown that his sister, Sabrina, had made and a basket full of fresh cherries which he'd collected from their small farm on the cusp of dawn. Carefully, he set them down on the overflowing heap of gifts. The Prince, who’d just turned six, frowned at the basket for a long moment before raising his hand and shoving a fistful in his mouth. Otabek blinked at him, totally taken aback. “Mmm-hum… ” the Prince hummed, closing his eyes, as he chomped on the bites of the plump fruits in his mouth. He opened his eyes, fixing his crystal green glare on Otabek. “Bring me more tomorrow,” he ordered, taking a few more from the basket. “Y-yes, your highness,” Otabek stuttered, bowing again before he was shoved away by a royal guard to clear the area. He hadn’t missed the way the Prince had shot a burning look at the guard. [Aka, AU where Yuri is a Prince and ranked highest among Omegas, whose life has revolved around his childhood friend, Otabek, who holds the lowest rank among Alphas. Their worlds suddenly comes shattering down after a loss they both isn’t prepared for] >> What got me into this fic is the fresh concept of omegaverse. There’s a level of Alphas, Omegas and Betas, with a hierarchy that (idk if there’s a proper wording for this but I’m just word vomitting) dictates how people treat other people and it’s apparent here and it seems to relate in the society we’ve been living in for a while now. I like this concept, and it just sparks a rich dynamic between Otabek and Yuri. Otabek’s determination is also pleasing to read. Here you have an Alpha of the lowest rank who’s trained for years and it’s finally paying (which is fucking awesome). I’m excited for more chapters to come!

6. * I’ll take in stride, the consequences of falling by  harajukucrepes  >> He wanted to ask to be touched, because in times like this intimacy would break him, and if he was broken enough, Otabek would finally see that he wasn’t ok. Stop having faith in me, stop idealising me, I’m not perfect.But Otabek would kiss him like he was the most wondrous thing to have happened to him, the most treasured, most beloved, and if there was one thing that would make him feel the worst he could humanly be is to be loved like that, because he would only want to lock this feeling, hide Otabek away and crush him underfoot if he could.He would bury his thoughts, destroy his voice, vanquish his own colours. >> Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful MASTERPIECE. At least for me, it is. It’s just an awe-inspiring work of art! It’s familiar that it almost felt like a Haruki Murakami tale and I don’t see words, I see feelings, music, anything that explores the relationship of these two people. I just love how this author blends all timelines together without disrupting the mood of the story (I think that’s what you call it, I’m not sure). I LOVE THIS PIECE and I love it so bad. This deserves more than one kudos from me!

7. Fly by  foreverhalo  >>  Otabek Altin, CEO of Altin's Aviation Academy has a secret business not many know about. He meets Yuri Plisetsky and offers him a chance to become a pilot, a long awaited dream ready to be fulfilled. With no questions asked, Yuri accepts but he doesn't know what awaits him beyond a simple act of kindness. Then again, Otabek wasn't expecting for Yuri to open a side of him he wasn't aware of. >> This deserves more attention. This fic is AWESOME. It’s a shady business in the guise of an aviation academy that features a darker, much more sinister (maybe? but the author seems to be leaning towards it, idk) Otabek. I haven’t really explored fics with a Dark!Otabek but this is a start. Maybe it’s a mild Dark!Beka for now, but it’s only been a few chapters and I love it. I love the story plot and how Yuri is dragged into this mess. I’m predicting it’s gonna be a bumpy ride for these two idiots. 

8. * They're All Long Gone (It's Only You and Me) by  JennaFlare  >>  Five years after the show, Otabek visits Yuri in Russia and dredges up what Yuri thought was long-dead history. >> Unrequited love dugged up into something reciprocated after a few years of friendship. My kind of tale, actually. This was an indirect inspiration to my fic ‘now i gotta wash my hands out with soap’ and ‘Reunions’.Maybe because of the events that occurred in my life or maybe because it’s absolutely relatable topic on a daily basis, I love this fic.

9. * Of Monsters and Men by  RoseAnthem  >> Ever since the day dark, mysterious, and endearing Otabek Altin told Yuri Plisetsky that he had the eyes of a soldier, Yuri hasn't been able to stop thinking about him, the boy who saw him as something other than a beautiful, delicate fairy. Now three years later, Otabek has moved to Russia to live with Mila, his new fiancee and Yuri's skating accomplice, and train under their coach Yakov.Yuri knows that his skating career is more important, but he can't seem to ignore the tightness in his chest when he sees Otabek and Mila kiss or the tug at his heart when Otabek smiles sweetly at him. He knows that he isn't in love, so why does he feel this way? Yuri decides to bury his foreign emotions as he always does and focus on what makes him happy, but as they grow closer, he cannot ignore the pain in his heart; and neither can Otabek.This is a story about the tough choices of love and the sacrifices you have to make to be happy. The story about two boys who don't know their fate, because their futures are standing in the way. This is a story about love and life. >> OtaMila is my NOTP. Friends are... fine, but essentially, I don’t really like otamila (sorry). But I love this story. So much drama! So much self-hate! So much self-deprecation! DAMN this is a monstrous fic! My waterworks filled a dam in my heart. This is so BEAUTIFUL YOU HAVE TO READ THIS FIC. If you want to of course and if you want drama, angst, and all that with a tinge of happy ending, this is your fic. 

10. * Frayed String by  Errolina  >>  Nikolai Plisetsky always told his grandson that he was the one that got to make his fate and not a string. Yuri always hated the fact that he was always reminded that he didn't have a soulmate. Otabek always did want to defy what was left of his string and make his own fate. >> Now this fic takes a bumpy turn on the concept of Red Strings of Fate Soulmates. It’s a fresh concept, one that I adore very much and love how it’s used in this three-shot. Go check this out if you’re up for some tears and fluff in the end. But there’s some angst too. 

(For some reason, most of the fics involve pining, angst with happy endings, and more pining)

11. * Talk Flower To Me by  ABoyWorthFightingFor  >> "Can I help you?" A voice asked, shocking him back into reality. Yuri gave a small jump at the sudden words, cursing under his breath for being startled."Otabek Altin?" He asked. The bassoonist gave a nod, but didn't offer anymore words, so he spoke on. "I'm Yuri. You're accompanying me, or whatever.""I know who you are," he spoke, starting to disassemble his instrument. "You're in my math class." Oh. So that's where the name's familiar. The black haired teen looked amused. "You didn't know? You sit right in front of me. Every single day." The Russian only scoffed with a roll of his eyes to try and hide his embarrassment. >> In my own Filipino language, “Nakakakilig ‘to”. It’s so giddy and it’s full of fluff everywhere! This is a unique way to spice up the use of flower language. Happy endings coming your way! Read this if you’re having a bad day or nothing seems to get right. This cheers me up!

12. Watch Out for This by  dovesnroses  >> “It could have been your guardian angel, ya know?” Georgi observes as he’s testing the soda dispensers the next night. Yuri reaches over the bar and takes an olive.“No such thing as guardian angels in this part of the city,” he retorts stuffing the olive in his mouth. Georgi gives him an amused look.“Well if they’d been planning on raping and or murdering you, they would have done it. ”Or: Otabek DJs at the club Yuri works at, and everything goes from there. >> Awesome piece of work! I’m loving the dynamics of not just Otayuri but other people as well. I can’t really predict what’s gonna happen in this fanfic, because recently there was some angst, and while that angst was resolved, I’m not entirely sure it’s gonna stay that way.. After all it’s still a WIP, so I’ve got a feeling there’s more! After all, what’s a happy ending if there’s no angst? HAHA kidding kidding.. But I love this fic. I re-read the sentences over and over again until the plot’s in my memory cabinet. Go check this fic out!

13. crystallofolia by  RennieOnIceCream (Hitsugi_Zirkus)  >> Yuri stared at the flower, utterly paralyzed, ignoring Viktor’s scandalized, “Oh my!”“What the fuck is this?” My eyes aren’t beautiful .Without wavering, Otabek continued to hold the flower out. “I call it a tulip. As well as an offer of friendship.”AU in which Viktor is a florist looking to start a family, Otabek is a flower vendor dreaming of home, and Yuri is an orphan wrapped in seven layers of teen angst that he can only get out by screaming profanities and shoving flowers in people's faces. >> What other way to spice up the language of flowers than to put a gallon of angst, backstory, and more angst. It’s like embedding the scientific name of a parade craniates in a fanfic that has an involvement with the feelings, the plot.. everything! If you want a dose of new flowers per paragraph and chapter, this is the fic you’re looking for.

14. * Reaching out for Silver Linings by  Muspell  >> There’s a whole life he didn’t know. A whole person he didn’t know. A whole person Yuri considered his best friend. But who the fuck is he? Is anything Yuri thinks he knows actually true? Who the fuck is Otabek Altin, after all? Has he ever even known who his best friend was?------------------------------------------- Warnings are there for a reason, please have that in mind.Second part of the KazGang series, sequel to To Judge a Book by its Cover. >> Angst... So. Much. Angst. So much misunderstandings... I’ve been treading lightly when this fic first came out because I knew how I can’t get over an angsty fic easily, so I waited till the angst wavered for a bit before reading it. And it was mind blowing. Still mind blowing. I’m planning to read this again because I like how Otabek’s dark history was portrayed here. So mysterious... 

15. * A Stiller Doom by  Tessa on Ice (tessacrowley)  >>  “It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and millions are in silent revolt against their lot. Nobody knows how many rebellions ... ferment in the masses of life which people earth.” Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre >> I saved the best for last. It revolves around the OmegaVerse, the major differences on how people treat alphas, omegas and betas and how it influences Yuri as a omega skater amongst the crowd of alpha dominant field of skaters. What I do love this if most is how the politics blends in chapter by chapter. It’s rare that I read such and I love how the socio-political aspect was dealt with in this fanfic. This is a great read, and if you are into stuff like this, you could try this out! 

#otayuri #fic recs

[ssugawarakoshii]

Random stuff no one cares about (fuck u jo)

@mysmoldarkfictionalsons told me to do this so it here it is 1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? Milk than cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yes

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Pages of homework, pens, tickets, earphones

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Alone or with really little milk

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yup

6: do you keep plants? Two cactus

7: do you name your plants? Nope

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Does editing count?

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? All three? But I’ll say side?

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? “Stitch”

12: what’s your favorite planet? Uranus

13: what’s something that made you smile today? Talking about 80s voltron with Ce

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? It’d be small, full of our stuff and a comfy sofa for us to cuddle

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! There is a planet that may be made entirely out of diamonds

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Spaghetti carbonara

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Rose gold/purple/blue

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. When they got drunk in the village party and they tried jumping to the river from the bridge and I had to take care of them all (I am the one to bring this up btw)

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Kind of? And just random ideas and stuff (ok and also dates and shit)

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Green

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. It’s blue with starts on it and it’s completely destroyed by now, the zip doesn’t even work anymore and it’s all full of scratches rip

22: are you a morning person? Depends tbh

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Watch a movie/show/anime, read or edit

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? I think yes?

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? An old house… I don’t usually break into places

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My Panama jack shoes rip

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Berries

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? When she’s nervous, Eva is always trying to grab someone’s hand without realising AND IT’S SO CUTE

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yup

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I like socks, but not that much? In winter and all they’re great but in summer I prefer my feet to be free

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. A guy in the village party (again) kept following us around, so Angel went and asked him what happened. The guy then just turned around like half pouting and handed us his empty hand and was like “I wanted to give you cookies”. And we ran. The lesson is, kids, never drink or do drugs if you don’t want to end up like that man

33: what’s your fave pastry? Orejas de carnaval con chocolate

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? It was called Eric and it was a white dog with brown spots and it’s somewhere in my room, im pretty sure

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yeah but in the end I always end up using the most normal stuff

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Oh wonder

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean

38: tell us about your pet peeves! I hate it when people like crack their knuckles? Nope don’t do that in front of me I beg you. Also people that walk slow… move dammit

39: what color do you wear the most? Black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? The chain my grandmother gave me for my communion. It has an image of virgin Maria as a child and my name engraved and she told me my grandfather had always wanted to give me a chain like that one

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? El laberinto de los espíritus

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Not really

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Silvia…

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Like a week ago? Lmao it didn’t last long

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yup.. doesn’t mean they work

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Are you a son of Poseidon? Cause you got me all wet (I’m gonna go bury myself now)

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Cauliflower. Take it away

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? My biggest fear was the world suddenly ending… yep…. I was weird. Maybe it isn’t the same but yoU CAN’T TELL ME THAT ISN’T SCARY

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Yes but I usually cant buy them which leads to the part where I can’t remember which one was the last I bought

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Do snow globes count? I have some of them and I love them

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I’m not mentioning the person but photograph

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? The glasses one? Is that from this year or last? Ah fuck it

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? No, yes, no, yes Weird af but strangely great

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? Grandma

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? Breaking a pencil (the thing we were discussing was that I didn’t have enough strength to break it okay so I got all hulk mode and broke it)

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? people that do a lot of hand gestures (they remind me of myself tho)

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? It makes me feel like a psycho murdered :’) nah kidding it makes me feel nostalgic AND WHO DOESN’T RE-ENACT THE LYRICS SMH

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Jandro is the Vodka aunt and Jo is the wine mom (although she is Vodka but she is way more mom so fuck it)

59: what’s your favorite myth? Persephone’s myth or Icarus one

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I love it and my fave authors (cause I can’t choose poems) are Bécquer, Góngora, Rubén Darío and Pablo Neruda

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I’ve never given really stupid gifts? My gifts are good *gasps* and my cousin gave me a clown nose once

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Sometimes I drink orange juice

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I am very fussy and it’s the one thing I’ll always have tidy af

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Ugly grey ugh

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? Do my online friends count? Maybe?

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? It’d have blue and white that’s all I know

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Sleepy. That’s it.

68: what’s winter like where you live? Cold and grey but with snow tho

69: what are your favorite board games? To be honest I don’t know?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nah (I was going to, then backed down you see)

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? I don’t know, I’m more of a coffee girl

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? Yep

73: what are some of your worst habits? Biting my cheeks/lip until it bleeds and scratching my scalp and ears until it bleeds too (que sanguinolenta por favor)

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Love

75: tell us about your pets! A bird, his name is Winnie and he’s a little shit but I love him

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? Studying history

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Yellow (I’ve never had pink lol)

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I’m neutral ground

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Joana’s video for my birthday

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Violet and white and yes I chose it because they’re two of my faves colours there’s nothing feel about it

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Beer bottle

82: are/were you good in school? I am good thanks very much

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Idk

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Idk

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Yes and here’s a thing about me I cannot by the sake of my life choose favorites in anything don’t make me do it

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Depends?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Tbh I’d say the Godfather (can’t really think of any other rn rip why do you put me in such compromises?)

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? No??

89: are you close to your parents? Meh

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. All I have to say is it has history, culture and it’s beautiful sorry I don’t want to make this long

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Dublin lololol

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Drown it in cheese bitch give me all of it

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Ponytail/bun

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? A classmate on the 28th

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Doing my Spanish project and editing

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Procrastination my dear

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFP, cancer, Ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? I’m not sure? Sometime in December with my father and yes

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Light by sleeping at last100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the future, I don’t want to relive my past thanks

I don’t have anyone to tag (my only friends are the tagger (fuck you) and the other person she tagged ( @nekolance why) So bye bye do it if you want to

#non fandom #damn jo this was so fucking long #the song question... i bet my ass no one knows who i was thinking of #nah ofc not #random

[queenharumiura]

♛ [ R O A S T M E ]

Roast, huh? aight, leave it to me. //roasts on a slow open fire. translation: you are giving me permission to ramble, yes?

my opinion on;

character in general: A sweet lil child who just needs to be protected from the evils of the world but at the same time just needs to stand up and destroy everything in his path. Like... a feisty Chihuahua. They cute as heck and need to be protected but they wont’ be afraid to tell you what’s up. Admittedly I do hold a small grudge due to the beginning of the series. I’m sorry, Haru is my Queen and I’m like those extreme mother-in-laws. I’m not mad that he didn’t return her feelings or anything like that. I openly admit she’s quite the character. Still, sometimes the way he treated her when Kyoko was around really grated on my nerves bc how dare-- my Queen. However, I understand that he’s a young kid and what do they know? Haru is also in the wrong for being so... well... fervent. Like chill, girl. I say that, but I very much respect the fact that though she’s hella weird and very... pretty much obsessive, he never really pushed her away apart from when Kyoko was around. He could have told her off. He could have just told her to stay away from him, but he didn’t. No matter how odd and tiring she can be, he tolerates her BS and actually views her as a friend. That really overshadows everything to be honest. 

So pretty much: He’s absolutely precious and I love him. He’s gone through a lot of character development and you know that he’s a loyal guy who in the face of things, will lay down the line to protect his friends. That is respectable. He’s a respectable lil dude and is honorary lil dude.how they play them: So sometimes they rp with text, and sometimes I see them respond to things with art. Both of which are very interesting to look at. I will admit that the Tsuna played is a lil different from what many may expect of Tsuna, however, I like it. (More on this in the last part under cut). I must make an obligatory mention that I really like the art like Oh hello, don’t mind me just petting my screen over and over. Since the blog is an ask blog/rp blog, it requires that the muse has to interact with all kinds of other muses and be very adaptable. Something that I struggle to do, so it’s very commendable. the mun: We haven’t talked all too much from what I recall but I do remember talking to you a bit, primarily in the tags, I think.  From what I gathered from that, and what i’ve seen in a few ask responses, I have gathered that the mun is a nice person who somehow reminds me a bit of myself. Like I get the feel that we both just struggle to say no to people because yaaayy happy people! However, if you cross the line, then the gloves are off. On my end, once I made up my mind, you’ll have to go through hell and back to get me to even change my mind. No means no and nothing will change that. No amount of bitching, whining, etc. 

do i;

follow them: Why yes I do.rp with them: I believe we had a thread or two together so we have rp’ed before, yes.want to rp with them: Sure sure! I’m always more than willing to take on more threads and interact more with people!ship their character with mine: I generally don’t really ship Tsuna with Haru. I will if it’s for some kind of a meme or some AU, but I normally don’t ship the two of them together. In terms of this specific muse, mmmm since they haven’t interacted much I don’t ship the two of them together. I tend to have a better idea as I interact with a certain muse more and get a feel for them.

what is my;

overall opinion: This is long enough as it is so the rest is going under cut because I rambled...

While I understand that you run a crack blog (at least that is what I gathered from the tag you wrote after an anon pretty much was complaining about your Tsuna), I personally enjoy the way you portray Tsuna. I mean, I personally think that he’s retained a lot of himself in the blog. 

Moreover, I feel as though he’s gotten a lot of a human nature to him, if that makes sense at all. The thing is, many people seem to forget about this, is that what we’ve seen in canon is just one side of things. There are plenty of things that Amano knows in her treasure mind of hers that we don’t know to be canon. We are left in the dark with so many things. Therefore, headcanons and such come to be. 

With these headcanons, people shape the way that they play their character and add depth. That is what makes a character seem more ‘human’ and all the more interesting to watch. 

Of course, characters who are very close to canon are also very fun! For some characters, it’s a load of fun just playing with them as they appear in canon without all the headcanons. Sometimes I feel like there is such a thing as having too many headcanons and then people sit there like: ‘who is this? I don’t recognize this chara’. I view everything to need a good mixture of everything. 

You need to retain a certain amount of canon-ity, but also adding on some HC’s because not only does it make a character seem more fleshed out, but it also makes the muse more personal to you. In my case, I form a deeper bond with my muses when I do so. 

For this reason I adore your Tsuna and I personally believe that you are doing an excellent job. I see the way you play your Tsuna to be how he would be without some of Reborn’s interventions. I just have lots of thoughts about things like this, and I may end up getting hate for it. Idk. I don’t really care. It’s just, I really dislike when people get so much hate sometimes for writing out their character based off of their own interpretation of the character. The way you interpret something can be different from mine. It’s just like art. Everyone sees an art piece differently. Same goes for the way muses can be played. 

Why have the same muse played the same exact way everywhere? There is no originality to that and it’s no fun! DIVERSITY PEOPLE! It’S A GOOD THING! I absolutely love playing with a ton of characters because everything is so different and so fresh! 

For people who hate on themselves because they seem less ‘canon’ in comparison to other blogs... dude, regardless of how you feel, i’m sure someone adores the way you play your blog. Someone loves you and loves interacting with you. TRUST THEIR AFFECTION FOR YOU, man. Trust it. Sure someone may be so freaking canon they may as well be the real character behind the screen but that doesn’t belittle you as an rp’er. You are still worth so much. Stop thinking you need to stop because you aren’t as canon. 

THAT IS THE BEST PART. SO MUCH VARIETY. STOOOOOOP HAAATINGGG ON OTHEERRRSSS BECAUUUUUSEEE THEEEEEYYY AREEEE DIFFERENTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Embrace the difference. Love the way people interpret their muse. Love not hate. 

So yeah. I I get mad when I see people get bashed for the way they play their charas so I got a bit upset when I saw it from the anon. I wasn’t going to speak because I’ll ramble too much but the meme did say I’ll be hella honest so------ here it is.

#ask-flaming-fish-27 #askflamingfish27 #meme answered #neo speaks #thanks for the ask! #((unpopular opinion is also included because I got heated up like wow)) #ask-flaming-fish27

[matingsaliva-blog]

If Anything Happens to me, Know that I Still Care About You Deeply

We’re going to the grocery store. I haven’t felt good for the past day and a half because I took pills on an empty stomach and driving around the sickening back roads of Philly have been giving me a headache. I don’t want to tell you so I just say that Lincoln Drive is making me dizzy and you pretend to understand. I don’t want to talk about it so this answer comes as a huge relief. I’m nauseous I tell you. I only tell you that because I’m afraid my insides may explode and I don’t want to throw up in your car because that has never been a good impression no matter how many times someone says it’s okay. This isn’t the end of the world. But to me, it is.

I feel bad and I can tell you genuinely care about my well-being, which sort of annoys me. I change the subject again. My face is plastered to the window and the frozen winter dew is outlining a really abstract rendition of my face. I get self conscious that even this amorphous natural phenomenon has chosen to distort what little pride I have in my looks. I am a silhouette of dripping window droplets. I say they should repave the roads. I think you’re annoyed that I don’t particularly say that to anyone and certainly without conviction. You notice things like that. You think that I should have a world’s worth of captivating and contributing thoughts when I speak into the void. It’s an observation and I have to internalize the loss. You agree. You say it without much substance, probably to mirror me. Obviously it has never occurred to you.

We pass the road where my dad used to work. I point out the factory. It is across from Laurel Hill Cemetery. For some reason I imagine him on the factory belt line taking specimens of ink and saying “Yes, this ink is good. Thanks team” but part of me thinks that he wasn’t that team-centric or even well-mannered. But he was liked, very much, from what I know. I wonder if he ever wandered over to the cemetery or at least just appreciated that it was there. Maybe he should have been buried here.

I’ve sat there listening to commercial trains screech their way through long expanses of suspended bridges over highways at this spot. I wonder if he heard this too. It was so loud. But not just loud in a way that you can ignore, it was invasive and I bet he blocked it out over the 40 years that he had worked there. Clocking out as a greasy, rail-thin but respected man as the trains rubbed their metal against the tracks. I admire that.

I say they should really repair these roads, again, to engage you. We’re hitting potholes and bumps which is hard to continuously ignore. You agree. Again. I don’t know how I want this conversation to go. I think about bringing up a memory of my dad but every time that I do, nobody knows how to act. They want to dress me in sympathy and say sorry and I want to tell them that it’s been a very long time. It’s fine. Time will tell how it has cured or destroyed me but that will come at various and uncomfortable times and I want you to be prepared. So I say nothing. You look at it as the stark and surgical demeanor I’ve chosen for you to glimpse into and that’s all that I can give to you. It isn’t suppressed, I just don’t have time for it. Not now. But people pry, they want to pluck me and remove it from me because they think I live with it in an extreme way. Actually, the day-to-day is a lot harder, in all honestly. I keep this to myself, too.

Later when I get to know you, I’ll relay that this this is okay to joke about. My biggest fear is that my sadness cannot become a joke that I can laugh about. It just takes time to get there. I need to stand perched above it all like an orator and decide which pieces are okay and most of the time anything goes, (unless it’s about how I don’t deserve to be loved because I have too many problems that one singular person cannot handle on their own.) This might concern you a little bit, given the context. We talked about my life insurance policy while we were driving one night and I laughed and said that I probably don’t have much of a chance. I said something like “at this point, they probably won’t cover me or it’ll at least be very expensive given my inability to want to stay alive.” I’m not responsible enough to even think about that yet and you tell me that your parents set yours up with their disposable income and as much as my family loves me, there’s definitely a line.

You laughed shyly when I said this and I told you it was okay. I made a really dark joke the other night and you laughed uncomfortably, again, but that’s all I could have hoped for. You let it be and chalked it up to one of my many social misfires that you’ve chosen to find endearing right now. Because you like me and I’m pretty and i try very hard to be functional around you. You said that it’s funny how I compose this dark and morose life as a protective blanket so that I have something to fall back on, but that I seem happy most of the time. I laughed this time. If i even begin to argue this point, i will sound like a 13-year old goth kid pissed off at my parents for not dropping me off at the mall on a Friday night. I guess that’s a privilege, or I should be more of an absolute garbage crying child so that you see my true self catapulting toward legitimate moments of truly wanting to die. I like you though, but I can live without you. I shatter inside and my heart-to-brain artery sort of stops functioning.

We’re almost at the store. I know that I don’t really want to go in. I’m holding my head in my hands and I’m smiling at the funny things you say because I know you’re checking. You need instant gratification and I don’t mind. I have to remind myself that you’re doing me a favor and that i should be grateful. I have to relearn these emotions, I need to feel them rather than acknowledge that they exist. I ask you if it’s okay if i stay in the car, I have to make a phone call. You say absolutely. You leave and I open the notes in my phone

1. Buy more things that excentuate my tits 2. Collect decorative boxes 3. Buy apple butter from Whole Foods 4. The abcs of socialism? 5. Bankfujzzy (idk what that means) 6. Pink silk ribbon 7. The Girl with Curious Hair by David Foster Wallace 8. An objectively shitty poem 9. A thought “You could have hung out with jocks in high school but you chose art instead and that made you a very sensitive girl.”

Theres nothing of value in these lists. I know you’ll take your time in the store because you have to check all of the food labels. I have time to kill. I will make up a fake conversation in a few minutes about how my nephew was being a dick and my mom called me because she was upset. This will validate my extreme adversity to entering public places. I lean back in the seat and close my eyes. I can feel my eyes water and the eyeliner forming drops in my cornea. I close my eyes and let it flow out. Everyone says my eyes are red all the time anyway. I am going for the Sky Ferrieira look but without all of the other shit. They’re flowering. It’s okay.

“Remember when you drinking whiskey and you told me that I had said the nicest thing to you that anyone had ever said to you?” “Vaguely.” “You were talking about poetry. I told you that you seem really happy, your demeanor changes. When you talk about things that you’re passionate about, it makes me happy. I could listen to you talk for hours. “Yeah that’s still the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” “I thought you said it because you were drunk.”

My hair is so greasy I can feel the grime burning my eyes and yet I feel considerably fine just knowing I have a very nominal control over it in the privacy of my own home. Sometimes the smells let me know that my body has had experiences and I embrace that I moved through it without dwelling on my self worth. I drop into puddles of reflections of me. When I’m compartmentalizing. There will be a debate if any of this is really worth fixing. And I will respect your decision. Always.