#if gay why make feminized and then treat it bad

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Can we just enjoy people writing fanfiction? Can we enjoy the fanart? Instead of complaining about every little thing? Look, with the way these executives have this set up with these mini writing rooms and the way they treat the writers. . .well, we have it good. They really didn't give us a lot with these characters, so it was up to us to try and fill in some of the blanks, so of course, we feel protective over them. They aren't our characters. It isn't our work. Let's enjoy the fact that we can create works of art on other people's works.

Who cares if people want to write smut? Who cares if people want to feminize Steve? Who cares if they want to carry on the Mom joke? Who cares if people want to write Nancy as aromantic who wants to focus on her career? Who cares if Steve and Eddie enjoy each other's interests? If you don't like it, don't read it. If people want to headcanon Eddie as bisexual they can because as far as we know, Eddie's sexuality doesn't exist. . .it's a blank canvas, and we can paint it however we want to. Joseph Quinn put so much time and effort into that character. It belongs to him, really. If he wants to play the character ambiguously bisexual, it's up to him. And if people want to headcanon him as gay or pansexual, that's fine too. We're all projecting ourselves onto him, anyway. Most of the time, it's our own sexuality. Whatever we do, it's all headcanons, and we should respect the fact. (And I'm not talking about Robin, Will, and Vickie. I know those are canon!) This is why we're allowed to have fanfiction so we can do whatever we want to with it individually. We can change whatever we want to right now. The point is to let go of that anger and support each other.

That can all be taken away. I think some of us, I've included myself in this too, have forgotten that Stranger Things is someone else's work that we're creating stuff off of. They have to right to sue us if they want to, but the fanfiction and the art benefit them. One day, it might stop benefiting them, and then what? It's all small potatoes compared to the writers who weren't getting paid enough to even pay their rent. Let's stop sweating the small stuff and enjoy the fact that we're writing, drawing off other people's works. So, if you don't like someone else's fanfiction, don't bitch about it, just move on and find something else. And don't make up terrible shit to make their headcanon look bad, so yours will look better. It makes you look petty and childish. If you don't have proper constructive criticism for them, move on. It's fiction. They're not real. Let's just enjoy fanfiction, respect the fact that we each have our own different headcanons, and just have fun. Let's try to stop taking it so seriously. I know, I've had trouble letting go, but we all kind of need to. As artists, we need to support each other.

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #eddie munson lives #steve harrington #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #i noticed some people complaining in the tag #i headcanon that steve and eddie are both bisexual #please respect it #respect other people's headcanons even if you don't like them #its what i'm trying to do

[gremlintrash]

Ok but why is there always a reason. When it's about macro all of a sudden it's oh why should I care about the sob story of some bihettie who couldn't ever live through a day of real homophobia. When it's ppl like inosa or swagy or radgoose or countless others getting told disgusting things like that their bfs should kill them, it's laughed off too and it's like oh go back to your hettie world if you're so mad. When it's about catboy it's like oh why should I care if we make fun of the SA of some moid thats praxis actually. When it was ppl saying bi women are just like tims and they're weaponizing their rape it's oh why can't you bihets learn to read none of that matters. When there was a big burst of a bunch of people getting openly attacked by "blackpills" it was oh this is just so online why are the bihetties playing the victim. These ppl are just coming out to advance the position that they won't go after you no matter what you say about bihets. Like the refusal to condemn anything at all unambiguously is very much the point.

Honestly, I've come to the conclusion that people these days (esp young people) are not any more progressive than other generations... I honestly think their politics and values are possibly more conservative than 10-20 years ago - these are just my feelings as a low income bisexual woman who is pretty white passing but I've had friends of other races (esp older friends in their 30s-40s) talk about how they feel the same thing in regards to how ppl are regarding race now and there's tons of posts circulating about how people are more homophobic than 10-20 years ago and we just lost roe v wade, income disparity is worse and social services are cut, etc etc etc

I feel like people such as you described above are highly individualistic and don't really have principles in the traditional way like "x behavior is bad" like if we use examples specific to the recent state of radblr re: the treatment of bisexual users, they don't think that homophobia and misogyny are unacceptable behaviors, they think its perfectly fine to leverage homophobia and misogyny against groups they see as "other" and don't identity with in some way. There's always a reason why the people I have marked as "other" deserve their mistreatment and why my own actions and the actions of people belonging to the group I identify with are excused from scrutiny.

A lot of the time in spite of how they call themselves "radical" (feminist or leftist or whatever) they express behaviors and ideals which are sooo extremely in line with the cultural norm for treating people of marginalized groups.

Examples relevant to this convo: Gay and bi women talking about how they "don't fuck with" bi women because they are untrustworthy and flaky partners and "most of them are basically straight and will end up with men anyway" so they don't need LGB community support

Also, determining that a woman's intimate relationships overshadow all of her other actions, and feeling entitled to information about a woman's sexuality to determine how valid you think her words are and how much support from her community she deserves.

Also, telling a victim of sexual assault and homphobia his problems arent real and he should be quiet about them.

Also, you can't trust women with partners and especially children to take part in feminism because they're going to by default center their lives around their male partners and children, so they're going to at best half-ass things and probably just decide to focus on their families instead anyway, may as well exclude them and write them off.

But its okay because the women in the first example were gay and bi, even though they're saying the same things straight men say about bi women. The second example is okay because it's statements and demands made by other women a lot of whom are gay and bi, not men or gossip rags. The third example is okay because it's gay/bi women speaking to a man. The last example is okay because it's said by other women who call themselves feminists, and not a sexist boss, even if they have the same way of thinking and similar actions with similar results.

And on one hand I get it, these people are trying to pass along their own hurt a lot of the time and they are usually legitimately telling themselves and each other that they aren't doing anything worse than maybe hurting the feelings of individual strangers. But they're adults who are behaving in unacceptable ways, and honestly some behavior should just be unacceptable, like... we should be kind to each other if we want people to be kind to us. Beyond that though, the concept of "punching up" has rotted people's brains and is ruining our community solidarity, is honestly a huge class consciousness issue, and they are doing more tangible harm than they're admitting to themselves.

I see this way of thinking as way more of an obstacle for dismantling these power structures than activists being imperfect in their personal decisions. Like, structural opression does not exist in a vacuum and spring forth from nothing, it requires a culture mindset to continue. Like, the whole deal with structural opression is that the opressed groups "deserve" their structural oppression in some way like it's always "justified". While the power structures/axes of opression/classes DO serve social and economic functions, human beings are emotional beings and most people aren't evil, to get social animals to hurt each other you have to socialize them to do so... like as feminists I think we know that at least.

"It doesn't matter if you shave because you prefer it, it perpetuates the expectation for women to remove their body hair and you are indirectly socializing other women as part of society" but then, if you have a good reason you can excuse homophobia or misogyny and suddenly it doesn't contribute to any larger power structures or the socialization of those in your communities?

If you have conditions in which you support homophobic or misogynistic (or racist and so on) behavior then first of all, you're perpetuating the cultural mindset and socialization that allow the abusive power structures to exist in the first place which beings me to my second point... it will lead to them being used against you by people who deem YOU as "other" at some point, unless you're the most privileged person on earth and there's no axis of oppression someone could decide to flip on you if they feel you deserve it and we all just keep crabs-in-a-bucketing each other

It's in our own best interests to treat each other as well as possible, that is my belief. Anything else is cutting off the nose to spite the face, who benefits?

#ik your point was more targeted but ive been thinking about this a lot lately #and imo it applies to the homophobia towarda lesbians on radblr and the racism as well #and like i said its pretty much the same outaide as well which is why it makes me roll my eyes when they fixate so much on being “radical” #if anyone reads all of this ily lets get married #txt #i also think everyone is like this now for psyop reasons but im being so normal rn #like it's just convenient isn't it

[punkeropercyjackson]

Actually lemme revert back to my Voltron days for a sec because i got rage.I got into the show the same time season 3 came out and the Lance x Allura development immediately stole my heart because why wouldn't it?It was the first time i saw people like me as a couple onscreen,by which i mean i'm a mixed latino like Lance-and we're even both carribean since he's cuban and i'm dominican!!!-and a black woman like Allura,and it was such a well-written ship to boot that gave me a good example of what i deserved to be treated like by my s/o and raised my standards for romance both fictional and for my own future(and current)dating life and it meant the world to me and i think it always will.And y'know what?Yes,Allura's death hurt a LOT and it still does sometimes but by now i've learned the sad truth that this is the norm for canon bw

The thing that REALLY sets me off?The fandom's response to them.Nonstop,i'd see 'Allura and Lance are such siblings!!!' 'Omg i'm so glad Lance is finally over Allura XD' 'I really hope Allurance isn't endgame afterall' and it was infuriating back then for the obvious people hating on my otp reason but i've realized that it was literally misogynoir.White and loads of nonblack Vee El Dee fans just couldn't stand that their precious Lancey boy genuinely loved the darkskin black girl mc with no ill-intentions and grew out of any bad habits towards her in season 3 of an 8 SEASON SHOW so that meant we were getting black4brown rep instead of sanitized twink tsunderes and they're STILL AT IT with the Le///akira desperation

But nah nah,y'all 'Space Mom and Dad' allegation makers ain't getting out of this!Allura was a GIRL,Shiro was a MAN-a GAY MAN FFS!!!Their season 1 dynamic was very clearly that of a tired dad and his rebellious teen daughter and all the 'baiting' you saw was you inserting your straight woman feminism fantasies onto them-Again,WOMAN,when Allura was an entire 17 year old and Shiro was in his mid-20s!You're literally the same as people who ship him with Pidge or even worse because there's an added layer of perpetuating the long history of adultification and by extension dehumanization of black children.Sit your tenheadasses down,it's not racist or misogynistic that people think you're gross and weird for infantalizing and straightwashing a canon gay japanese man

Keith and Lance weren't baited.Shiro and Allura were never even a fucking option.ALLURANCE was bait,for latinos and black people and those of us inbetween alike,they dangled it in front of us in promos and the vlogs and the official books and most importantly in THE ACTUAL FUCKING SERIES.Only to go 'Sike!!!The only deserving happy ending for traumatized black girls is to die for others and their soulmate to be forced to live on without them!!!' and the fact that y'all have the AUDACITY to make it about yourselves by twisting one of the best love stories in modern american animation into 'Nice Guy Gets The GirlTM' is bodyslam worthy.Be.Fucking Quiet.

#this was actually prompted by a positive realization about them and another poc4poc ship i hold near and dear to my heart #but v slur never comes without consequences i see.hate it here i wanna go to earth 1610 #legitallurance #pro allurance #t4t allurance #lance vld #allura #pro lance #pro allura #allura deserved better #antiklance #keith kogane #takashi shirogane #anti shaladin #adashi #space dad #space eldest sister #vld #misogynoir #anti latino racism #adultification tw #biracial tag #blackness #latina tag #dominican tag #homophobia #cisheteronormativity #gender stereotypes #summerposting #n word tw

[thechaoticreader]

Popular Books I Read and HATED

*Disclaimer: If you like any of these books, slay! I'm happy for you! These are just my own consumer choices, and imo negative book reviews are just as helpful as positive ones!*

This list is not long because I don't actively dislike many books that I read, and I have a very good sense of what I will and will not like, but there are some I had to read/were misled into reading so here we go:

1. Tender Is The Flesh

by Agustina Bazterrica

My rant review is above if you want more details but recently I've seen a few videos that articulate my feelings in a way that I couldn't before so im going to add a few reasons here that were not included in the original post:

It gave very Qanon and general antisemitic vibes: i.e blatant conspiracy made up by the "wealthy liberal elites" to encourage cannibalism for their own enjoyment (I know she's Argentinian however that doesn't mean im not allowed to get the ick from it)

Purposefully inaccurate depictions of meat industry and disrespect for farmers (context: im a vegetarian from farm country with a roommate who works in the cattle industry - Angus beef if you're curious - so im very familiar with the process and cannot say in good conscious that it is all bad -> just support local farmers <3)

world building makes little sense

COWS DO NOT EQUATE TO HUMANS NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO !!!!!!!!

the "disease" doesn't make sense (even if its made up who would believe it)

No themes were treated with the depth nor nuance they require (capitalism, feminism, veganism etc.)

I think thats all I haven't covered but this is the only book I have ever read where my hatred of it continues to grow with each day. I went out of my way and deleted it from my reader and get annoyed every time I see it. And for the record (because yes i'm salty) I didn't hate it because it was too disturbing, in fact I've read and loved worse and ive been an avid horror reader since I was (admittedly too) young. I hate it because there wasn't a well done story underneath the gore. I'll say it loudly for the people in the back GORY HORROR BOOKS STILL DESERVE A GOOD/INTERESTING STORY, especially if you want to try to put complex themes in it. If you cannot write a deep story but you're good at and enjoy gore, write yourself a lil 100 page splatter punk and we can all have a good time <3

Unlike with Tender Is The Flesh I don't have a ton of thought out critical reasons for the rest of these soooooo I'm going to give my highly subjective reasons -> I totally understand why some like them <3

2. The Handmaids Tale

by Margaret Atwood

hated the writing style

It didn't keep my attention

disliked the ending so much I actually threw it across the room <3

3. The Hobbit

by J.R.R Tolkien

hated the writing style

male centered fantasy is not my vibe

my ADHD cannot handle long incredibly descriptive sections in books -> I physically fell asleep multiple times while reading this book

honestly even with the movie I fall asleep every time

0/10 book I want to read

10/10 bedtime story

4. Lord of The Flies

by William Golding

hated the writing style

hated most of the characters (and not in a slay anti-hero way)

was forced to read it in high school and it single handedly sent me into a 4 year reading slump... I missed so many good books because of this and will forever hold a grudge

5. Romeo & Juliet

By William Shakespeare

I'm too jaded and gay to enjoy this -> every single character is so painfully stupid

tbh im just bitter that his (imo) better plays get less love than this one, its way over hyped

but I will give it points for boring me so much that I wrote my first fanfic (Romeo x Mercutio if you're curious ... no its not posted anywhere and it never will be <3)

sidenote -> Shakespeare plays I love incl:

Hamlet (duh im a depressed emo gay on Tumblr)

Macbeth (also duh, witches and female manipulator... need I say more)

Othello (a slow burn for the true crime girlies)

Measure for Measure (absolutely underrated, please please please look into this play -> I saw a production of it and it was incredible)

#bookblr #book blog #booktok #reading #bookish #goodreads #books #book review #books I hate #book hater #tender is the flesh #tender is the flesh hater #romeo and juliet #shakespeare #anti book club #anti booktok #the hobbit #hobbit hater #tolkien #tolkien hater #lord of the flies #books I had to read in highschool #bitter book review #books and reading #book club

[ilistentogirlinred]

a bunch of ideas for essays i have

ESSAY IDEAS:

fandom and parasocial relationships with celebs

primarily musicians

KPOP!!!

shipping

how this effects the idols themselves

and the fans perception of idols

“delulu”

competitive nature

groups

positions

obsession

racism

infantilisation

“maknaes”

lisa, jungkook

ONE DIRECTION

fucking larries

obsession

FITTH HARMONY

SWIFTIES

the idolisation

white feminism?

performative activism

NOT SEEING CELEBS AS REAL PEOPLE WITH FEELINGS!!!

mysoginy in fandom culture

internalised mysogyny

mysogyny in the works themselves

how that is internalised

the prevalence of m/m ships

patriarchy!

boo

KPOP!!!

shipping

how this effects the idols themselves

+ their friendships with each other

and the fans perception of idols

homophobia in the industry

“delulu”

competitive nature

groups

positions

obsession

racism

non fans who dislike the industry/fans

infantilisation

“maknaes”

lisa (crazy horse)

jungkook (seven, etc)

DEBUTING ACTUAL CHILDREN

THOSE ARE CHILDREN WTF DUDE

SHE IS BARELY 14

SHE IS 13

SHE WAS 12 WHEN SHE WAS ON THE SHOW

possible human rights violations?

work hours

neglect

mental health issues

suicides

beomhan therapy video (managers)

homophobia in the industry

if an idol comes out, fans will treat it as “proof” that their ship is “canon”

or will just be outright homophobic

FANSERVICE

its not gay but…

influence of fandom on modern media

queerbaiting/queercoding to attract an audience

destiel

teen wolf

bbc sherlock

tropes

enemies to lovers

DONE WRONG

queer rep in media

queerbaiting/coding to attract viewers

supernatural, sherlock

destiel, johnlock

teen wolf

queer coding in disney!

accidental?

LUCA!!!

cultural differences?

anime

YOI, SK8, Haikyuu

Naruto

superwholock -> ourgoodshadows

early 2000s/2010s YA dystopia plague, ya books in general

hunger games

marketing

movies

divergent!!!

bad

no second half of the third one lmao

maze runner

technically first!

LOVE TRIANGLES

twilight (either read or consult ms elloy, mya, etc)

hunger games

“big strong guy” vs “childhood friend”

predictable

repetitive

c’mon guys make it gay for once

try a conga line love triangle

that resolves itself with polyamory?

SPORTS ANIME

why is it so popular?

fandom, duh.

ok but why?

easy. gay anime boys

why is sports anime so gay?

power of friendship?

close bonds between people of the same gender

lack of characters from the opposite gender so less heterosexuality and f/m ships

but thats fandomy

the inherent homoeroticism of sharing a locker room

referring back to friendship/close bonds

BLUE LOCK

HOLY CRAP BLUE LOCK

its gayer than haikyuu but there’s no power of friendship really

there are very close bonds and strange definitions of attraction tho

bachisagi, reonagi, ryusae

REONAGI SHOUJO SPINOFF

attraction -> obsession

soccer -> dream -> lack of care about self

RYUSAE FUCKED UP IDEA OF (and perception) ATTRACTION

soccer = attraction, bond, romance/sex, etc.

BACK TO HAIKYUU

rivalries

rivalry -> close friendship

mirrors enemies to lovers very slightly

tis the power of friendship

power of friendship combined with coming of age?

YUURI ON ICE!

the canon gays

SK8 the infinity

queer coding?

QUEERCODING IN ANIME

is it all perceived and unintended due to differences in cultural upbringing?

possibly but the undertones are still very much there

maybe its censorship? who knows

killugon -> possibly find sources

the homoerotic queer-coded rivalry or friendship

established from the start

sasunaru, kagehina, bakudeku, renga, killugon, fucking soukoku, etc

also tsukkiyama, matchablossom, leopika, etc

SOUKOKU (and the rest of bsd)

the irl authors - were they queer?

FIND SOURCES!!!

#holy shit there are a lot

[harrypotterfuryroad]

hello there

i was scrolling through your posts and i came to the realization that you have an acute distaste for trans people

if you don't mind me asking, why is that?

correct me if i'm wrong, but if the point of feminism is fighting against the patriarchy and reaching gender equality, what is discrimination against trans people supposed to do? how does it support feminism?

from my point of view, it doesn't. hell, i think stuff like j.k. rowling supporting matt walsh is actually bad for feminism. praising right-wing extremists doesn't equate to gender equality in my eyes. it feels more like the opposite.

ok this is a quibble before i get to the main points but jk rowling does not support matt walsh and the fact that you think that suggests that you’re getting your information secondhand without fact checking. it’s a small thing but it gets at a lot of the intellectual dishonesty surrounding the way the gc perspective is framed by others

like, are you saying this looks like support?

or this?

or maybe you’re talking about this one

this one is closer to support, but it’s still unequivocally critical of him. people probably just failed to notice that because it wasn’t a firehose of death threats. she’s allowed to agree with parts of his content without agreeing with his overall message (that’s called nuance - disagreeing with all his content because she disagreed with his overall message would be called reactionary (which is kinda what you’re doing here even if you didn’t intend to)). either way next time you try something like that make sure you’ve done your reading

anyway “acute distaste for trans people” is one way of putting it i guess, but i have an acute distaste for any movement systematically attempting to roll back women’s rights and gay rights. i’m not victimizing or targeting trans people, i’m just not treating them as fundamentally different from anyone else doing the same thing. i talk plenty about shitty men and shitty religious groups, i just tend to save that for my main blog because for some reason it’s ok to complain about men behaving poorly until they put a wig on. there’s even still plenty of that on this blog, just look at the post that i’m guessing sent you my way

so the next thing is whether feminism is about equality. even if it was, people are so hesitant anymore to even admit that systemic misogyny exists (obv on the right but this has been a growing problem with the left for years, guess why) that equality-focused feminist activism has trouble getting traction. liberation is the more useful way to frame it - equality still frames every advance for women in relation to men. that’s the same rhetorical trick you were trying, intentionally or not, by attempting to frame everything i’m saying as discriminatory towards trans people instead of acknowledging that i’m pointing out harmful things baked into the foundations of the ideology. and yeah feminism is about fighting the patriarchy, sure, but how does believing anything a man says accomplish that? if you believe that men can stop benefiting from male privilege by declaring themselves women then you don’t believe in male privilege, and therefore there’s no patriarchy to fight, so where does that leave you

anyway keep poking around, once you zoom out and look at the bigger picture and realize that the people you think you’re supposed to disagree with might not actually disagree with you, things will start to open up

[self-loving-vampire]

Personally IMO this stuff discredits feminism. When I remember the feminism that was ubiquitous and inescapable in my youth it was all this shit. Sometimes it was anti-tomboy and sometimes it was tomboy-supremacist and sometimes it was a secret third thing, but it was always always always people projecting their own personal shitty complexes onto the entire human condition in an incredibly transparent way but exploiting social power to prevent people from pointing it out, Emperor's New Clothes style. It was not a united front, but it was united in being awful and making excuses for awful.

I imagine this is about this post? Not really sure what the context is otherwise and relatedly I am not really clear on the specifics here.

What I think personally is that I wish more people were as apathetic to gender as I am.

I find it kind of off-putting when people highlight gender in a way that makes a big deal out of it, such as by treating others visibly differently based on something like that (even in "benevolent" ways). It's especially bad when people go as far as to treat men and women as being like fundamentally different species (radfems love to do that explicitly, but really they're just regurgitating regressive attitudes that are not that uncommon among the general population).

I don't even like it when people gender behaviors or interests or the like either. That's a big part of why I didn't like the comments screenshotted in the other post.

I guess this puts me closer to the pro-tomboy side of this but I just find the whole thing completely arbitrary and primitive. For example, my father was so poisoned by this nonsense that he believed only women and gay men liked cats and a True Man should reject them. Cats. A thing basically everyone who isn't an insecure tryhard likes.

And I imagine many of us saw this twitter post and experienced nothing but confusion as well:

This kind of thing makes no more sense to me when the things being randomly gendered are already more socially normalized as gendered (example: Violent video games being For Men or liking cute things being For Women).

Maybe once I take over the world and can grant easy, widely-available, and reversible transitions to anyone who wants them the whole concept of gender essentialism and gender norms will finally explode. Look forward to it!

[henrioo]

Hiii, since i’ve nothing to do and I love rambling, I’ll ramble abt how much I appreciate your writing.

When i first installed tumblr, i was already attacked by she/hers in fanfics (😥😥). Tbh i was tired of fem blogs, thinking everyone is fem or idk . You’re the first one piece blog i actually like. Whenever i want, i can just re-read your blog’s fics and others. I really like your account !! ^_^ finally a good one piece blog, the others aren’t really safe tbh. Like those who wrotes ‘gn!reader’ but hit you with ‘good girl, wife etc..’ or those who feminized ftm!reader.. like tf… anyway live laugh love your account (its really entertaining !!)

— SOSO’S

YES I LOVE RAMBLING TOO THIS BLOG HAVE MORE ME RUMBLING THAN STORIES PLEASE RUMBLE WITH ME

Yeah ik, honestly i know Tumblr before I even think about myself like a trans person, so having fem content didn't bother me at all at that time

But when I got back here last year I realized how much fem content exists, but I was like "nha it's fine, we still have some gn content I will be fine"

Spoilers, I didn't get fine

It's so rare to have real neutral content in gn content that this makes me so frustrated that when I started my blog, I always got this on writing "if you can't find or it's not good enough for you, then make yourself"

And I did and I went pretty fine I guess, at least my gn are really neutral I hope hahaha

But day by day got me more and more frustrated and my dysphoria was getting worse because I was missing having some real valid male content

I need my favorite look at me and say "I love you like a man, like a boyfriend, I want you to be my husband, the father of my children"

I need to read that they also see me like a man.

And then I went to look for male content and well, things can really be worse the deeper you go

And then I realized that male content here is a totally red flag and basically a big NO

Amab or afab doesn't matter, they all gonna treat you like a super shy delicate boy

You're always gonna be the bottom, and if you are the top then the bottom will be a FTM reader (why can't you top a cis man?)

You're always gonna be feminized and like panties and pink and nicknames to shame you like princess and whatever

The worst for me was seeing that most of that stuff was writing of male writers

Like, you are hating your own identity?

I'm sorry if you like to be some weird femboy that likes to be treated like a woman and a slave

But I'm sure most masc people (cis, trans, NB etc) genuinely don't like that

It's totally fine you wanting someone to validate your gender, regardless of the gender okay? That's why cis women like to be called princess and stuff

But seriously, this just makes my dysphoria really bad because omg can't nobody write just a normal male reader? It's not an alien, we are human like everyone, it's like they write about male like they never interacted with a man in their whole life?

Do you guys know that romantic and platonic relationship between gays are basically the same as a couple of lesbian or straight people? Right? We are not different from anyone

Ofc gays have their own fights but like??? Are you getting? Idk how to explain better

Then again the hit "make yourself" and that's what I'm making lol, I have a lot of hiatus due my mental condition, I'm not gonna lie about that

But I'm always doing my best to have more stories here, maybe I won't give you guys new stories every week, maybe I will take some good months on the ask, maybe I will disappear and get back

But I'm not planning on giving up on this project so soon

Writing male stories is healing not only you guys, but me, really healing me

And that's why I won't stop, I want to write about a lot of things, some stories I will talk about more serious things like dysphoria or homophobia because I think it is fair we have good stories talking about this

I want to write about comfort, about angst, about grief, about transitions, I want to write about children readers and happy families

I want to write for FTM boys, NB boys, cis boys

I want platonic, romantic, nsfw, angst, long, short

I want all

Because I think we deserve that, and if I have the power to do then I will do

And see that not only me is being healed by my blog is always what give more determination to continue

Like I said, maybe not as fast as we all wanted, but I'm promise I'm here and I'm not leaving soon

Okay I talked a lot lol hahahah well thanks for that

I'm always happy to see you guys enjoying here, it really makes me happy, so make yourself welcome and enjoy!

#henri talk

[stranger-rants]

(3) I'm not saying that fans have to like Nancy, if she's someone they don't relate to its fine. I even agree that she is now the epitome of young white feminism, entitlement, her family republican support roots and middle class privilege. I do agree it was assholeish of her on how she treated Jonathan (while i still understand her anger towards Tom Holloway and the sexist, hostile and creepy old coworkers) she should have said sorry to him just like he apologized to her, the fact that she can't make girl friends her age besides Barb, how she treated Robin in S4 that was harsh at moments and unconsiderate i could go on..

(4) She can definitely be still up to be questioned and the talks on why the whole girlboss rep that the Duffers swear they bring but fails miserably every time. I need to add that Steve himself should also get the same exact treatment in this case. But none of his fan favorite cult sees that because he said sorry, changed for better and they all bought into his so called "character arc" which is not even a good one or not even there, they even bought the whole mediocrity of him being a "gay ally" (this even comes from me as a fanom bisexual Steve truther). It's so weird to me how he's always treated as such a catch with all this people being like "Nancy doesn't deserve Steve this and that" but maybe that there is also just me as well...

5, Last one i promise) but this whole anti and villain narrative treatment she gets from the fandom in which she does not deserve any single chance of nuances, a proper arc, her being seen or listened, chances to redeem herself and make up for her wrongdoings. The fact that they go far to literally laugh at her privacy and autonomy being technically ripped, exposed and violated, so far to the point she should be punished for her friend's death just because she had sex well, this people so give the vibe of the individuals you would never trust to openly talk about your SA/harassment/abuse situations to. Says a lot of little concerning vibes, that are just as low and bad as the anti Billy behaviour we've got to see from time to time. I do comprehend none of these characters are real but there's that; makes me cringe how this has just increased in Womens rights month and the fact these things are coming from mostly women, which is kinda sad.

I'll end my point saying that yeah, it speaks volumes.

I will say this about what female characters are owed in fandom and that’s the same level of complexity we grant to male characters. That’s what I think any character who represents a marginalized group is owed, and yes it can be frustrating when you’re not given that. It is concerning to see people buy into the Nice Guy trope and the rape culture surrounding young people, especially women and girls. It’s okay to be upset by that, even if the characters aren’t real, and to call it out as such. I personally think that Steve and Nancy are bad for each other because neither of their goals and ideals line up. That doesn’t mean Nancy is The Problem, of course. In fact, I’m tired of talking about her in relation to Steve and vice versa.

I do think this fandom’s treatment of female characters like Nancy can be hypocritical compared to their uncritical adoration of Steve who is really just some guy with a lot of money, but at the same time the way she is positioned as a gun toting “badass” young woman who gets empowering speeches from her Thatcher-loving predator of a mother is what makes her character off-putting to queer fans, many who are gay and/or trans and who’ve spoken up about how aggravating that is. It’s not just women who are critical of her character, and while you’ve already acknowledged these issues I do want to make a distinction between hate posts made by misogynists and criticisms given by people hurt by the glorified politics surrounding the Wheeler family. I know people argue that their children aren’t conservatives by association, and I get that but The Duffers don’t say or do anything meaningful to subvert or deny that.

As a character, the best thing for her would be to branch out and experience new things but she stagnates like Steve because The Duffers don’t let them grow beyond The Girlboss and The Babysitter roles they’ve designated them with. That can also lead to some of the hate she receives, but that’s a writing problem and not something that is inherently wrong with a teenage girl not having all the tools and the knowledge to make the right decisions 100% of the time… which… why should we be expecting that out of anyone anyway.

#asks #long post cw

[solena2]

Just saw someone claim that saying “not all men” and saying “hating men is bad because all gender essentialism is bad” are inherently the same idea and didn’t want to derail the post, but I think there’s a genuine discussion to be had here, so

Hot take, apparently, but the problem with “not all men” rhetoric has nothing to do with the factual accuracy of the statement. Like, we can all agree that not every single man, (or the majority of men) assaults women, right?

The problem with people saying “not all men” isn’t that the statement they’re making is wrong, it’s that they’re engaging in bad faith and obfuscating the actual debate. Because no, not all men, but also “every man has assaulted a woman” was never the point the opposing movement was trying to make. Dudebros just acted like it was because there’s no way to oppose the statement “assaulting women is bad, actually” without sounding like a tone deaf asshole, so they built a strawman to mock instead.

But the post that prompted me to write this wasn’t written by a dudebro. It was written by a terf.

And the problem with terf ideology, also known as the core of terf ideology, is that they really do believe that all men are bad, inherently, by virtue of being men. They view gender as a moral alignment, with men on the “bad” side and women on the “good”, and any deviation from that binary as misguided at best and malicious infiltration at worst.

Which is why they hate trans women, view trans men as confused, and either treat nonbinary people as “women-lite” or, more often, refuse to acknowledge them entirely.

So why is that a bad thing?

Because being real here, that’s a question that needs answered. The seeds of terf ideology grew in fertile soil, and knowing what led to that is important. Knowing the conditions under which radical feminism thrives is what gives us the insight to root it out early.

The same time that “not all men” rhetoric was popular with the right, significant parts of the left were beginning to respond with “yes, all men”. Partially out of frustration at first, I think, at least for those unfamiliar to such statements. (As many of us were, at the time.) People embracing the “man hating lesbian” stereotype and similar things used to discredit them. Going “you know what, maybe I do hate men, maybe I should hate men, maybe everyone should.” because they were hurting and tired of being hurt and when sexism is such a prevalent issue it is genuinely difficult to oppose the statement.

It’s very easy to take a hatred of misogyny and translate it to a hatred of men, because misogyny is synonymous with men, right? Built by men and perpetrated by men and kept alive by men.

So shouldn’t men be sorry for it? Shouldn’t they attempt to atone, whether or not they, personally, have bought into it? It’s certainly true that all men benefit from misogyny, so shouldn’t all men be treated with suspicion?

It’s easy to see why terfs believe what they do, in the end. Their beliefs are based in personal pain and anger and trauma so often.

The problem, as it often is, is that it’s not that simple. “All men benefit from misogyny” is not a true statement, and “all men benefit from misogyny and need to atone for it” is worse.

Any man who’s been called a fag, for example, is not reaping the benefits of misogyny. Any man who doesn’t fit in the cookie cutter mold and is punished for it, whether that’s a drag queen or a gay man or a cis straight man who just likes the fucking color pink, men are just as socially shackled by misogyny as women are, top of the gender bullshit food chain or not.

Misandry is just as bad as misogyny ideologically. The reason it’s rarely as much of a problem has nothing to do with the inherent qualities of womanhood. Systemic misandry isn’t often a problem because we haven’t historically had much of it.

Feminism is not and never has been an attempt to invert the status quo, place women on top, and call it a day assuming the exact same bullshit won’t arise. Feminism is a fight for equality, a fight where we try to liberate everyone, lift everyone up instead of pulling each other down.

We are not crabs in a bucket.

“Trans-exclusionary radical feminism” is what happens when someone decides pulling other people down is easier than lifting them up.

It’s an ideology built on assuming you’re the only victim that matters.

You’re not. Oppression isn’t a competition.

Stop trying to pull us back into the bucket. It does nothing constructive for anyone.

#original post #sol speaks #misogony #transphobia #gender essentialism

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

Sea sorry if this question is uninsteresting to you but why do you think larries baby harry so much? Like when did he gave those features? I always saw him as a serious guy that only showed emotion when performing and never saw him acting naturally feminine unless it was for the cameras to make others laugh... Maybe I'm being biased it's just that many larries get upset when louies call Louis tiny or say he is tender and is so?? It feels to me as if these fans give harry all those unrealistic features cause he is really just another guy that maybe likes women to much for them so they have to make him this 100% fem gay and in their world Louis and Harry can't both be neutral/fem so Louis has to become a ultra macho... Do they know how stupid they look to the gp or casual fans like me, like the second hand embarrassment they give are they aware of this?

I don’t think they are aware at all.

I think Larries are people who have convinced themselves that the Emperor has beautiful new clothes, even though he’s wearing nothing. They’ve convinced themselves so thoroughly that their particular myopia, their group pretense, is actually… courage, and has championed a particularly truculent idiocy as a point of pride.

It’s not exactly that Harry is bad, or straight, or heterosexual, etc.

It’s just that Harry Styles has learned to play his fans like a virtuoso fiddler. He treats his fans with utter cynicism and contempt, but they see it as love. At this point, Harry really could commit crimes against the most vulnerable, and his fans would defend him. And be proud of it!

I’m not saying that Louis is perfect or that Louies are blameless. We also say some pretty stupid things, sometimes. But we aren’t like that ALL THE TIME. We don’t stoop to defend the worst practices of the industry. We don’t call ugly behavior lovely. When we don’t like fashion, we say we don’t like it.

And we don’t hate women so much that somehow Harry Styles represents the “best of” feminism to us. Larries don’t even recognize the depth of their hatred against women.

#Larries #harry styles

[hitchell-mope]

I’m just going to say it

Besides it being infuriating sometimes, (EG the way Dean treats Sam, the necrotic tissue in a trench coat etc etc). I’m actually quite glad I started supernatural. Because it makes no bones about it being for guys. Like, yeah it’s “a relic” or some such. But like. Do you know how rare it is that something is marketed towards guys nowadays? Let alone back then?

The answer is, aside from car shows (example provided by @rpsocsandcanonohmy), not a whole lot. For instance. Kristoff is the last Disney prince. And there’s been no romance in the Disney animated canon for years. And nowadays every film where men are at the forefront has them being court jesters to make the supporting cast, usually women, look good. They’re either stupid or they’re assholes. Especially if they’re the foremost authority on the subject in question. Either way they have to “earn” the right to save the world. And they’re still denied respect because it’d “feed their ego”. When said ego is usually just pride in their work and intellect.

This is the reason why I hate tv feminism. It’s because it’s led to this. And yeah. I know I’m probably sounding like a sexist moron. But I’m not. Because girls do need representation. BUT. So do young boys. White, gay, straight, black, Asian, Latino, bisexual, transgender, all of them. They still deserve to see themselves on screen.

And as @rpsocsandcanonohmy also said. There's so much stuff marketed as for girls or for both. And if anything is marketed as just for boys there's usually a stink about making it for girls too.

Don’t get me wrong. l still love a good chick flick. Ghostbusters and ocean’s eight are brilliant. So is you again. And I get girls deserve to see themselves as scientists and hustlers etc etc. But what about the boys that want to be prince’s. For them. It’s either wrestling. Or as @rpsocsandcanonohmy said. Car shows. And I hate both.

Even when they’re brainy it’s seen as wrong. People call Moffat’s Sherlock bad cause he’s an arse. I liked it specifically BECAUSE he’s an arse. In fact I think it went downhill when they tried to humanise him. Just like the Big Bang theory went downhill when they gave Sheldon a girlfriend to try and make him more normal.

I just hate this whole idea that for anything to be seen as good nowadays it has to cater exclusively to women and girls. And if boys complain about not getting what they want or that they don’t want to watch this film or show that’s obviously not made for them, they’re somehow the bad guys.

TL:DR; Boys are gradually being erased as a target demographic and it quite frankly worries me. Which is why I’m glad I started supernatural even if dean annoys me with how he mistreats Sam or the thing that will not die continues it’s unwelcome presence. It’s still a show for guys. And I appreciate that

#me #about me #personal #supernatural #dean winchester #dean critical #sam winchester #anti castiel #anti destiel #anti double standards

[spiderfreedom]

right-wingers are wrong

On some level, I understand people aren't going to understand me because I'm basically a wonk. I want to get into the nitty gritty details of policy, and work with people to find solutions that can be implemented. I want to be able to say, "this is the problem as I see it, and this is the solution as I see it. These are the downsides of the solution, but I consider it superior to other solutions for these reasons." And to consider all the reasonable options. This is, uh, not something that works well on social media))

I think this is why a lot of people are confused when I say things like "I think the way present-day doctors are handling youth gender transition is harmful and risks medicalizing a vulnerable population", and also "I am opposed to US right-winger's efforts to make youth gender transition illegal." To me, this follows, because I don't think the solution to things I think are weird or bad is always making them illegal. Think of the chaos this will cause - there are kids, right now, who are transitioning. What the hell is going to happen to their health if they are suddenly forced to stop transitioning because of laws? We don't know because it's never been done before. There is no way to provide them with good care like that.

Scientific problems need scientific solutions. We need more research, not less. We need research from all sorts of angles. Most studies on transgender youth, whether they are pro-youth transition (more recent ones) or against (Zucker) have the same problem: very high drop out rates. Like I'm serious, go back to some of the early ones from Zucker, and you will see high drop out rates. Go to newer ones, high drop out rates. What is happening? How can we draw conclusions about the effectiveness or lack thereof of transition when we start with a small sample size and it keeps getting smaller and we don't know why kids are dropping out?

We cannot answer questions like "what is dysphoria? Where does it come from? How effective are transitioning relating treatments? How do we know which kids will continue to have dysphoria at age 18, and which ones will lose dysphoria over time and not be dysphoric at age 18? Are popular sexist interpretations of gender influencing kids in their decision to transition or not? Are there non-hormonal solutions? What are the ethics of non-hormonal solutions?" without research. We can't! You can't substitute feminist theory or queer theory for scientific research.

And of course... Republicans don't care about feminism, girls, autistic kids, gender non-conforming kids, dysphoric kids, gay kids, or transgender kids. We know this. We know they are not doing it out of concern. They are doing it as part of a prong to attack LGBT rights, and to portray LGBT people as a threat to the population.

The difference between them and me is that I think there may be situations where youth transition is ethically justified, and I want to know more research on how to be able to serve that population better, and how to distinguish it from people who may be treated better otherwise. Republicans do not make this distinction because they do not care. They want it all gone, no exceptions.

And so that's why I'm against making these treatments illegal - it makes research harder, it leaves a group of vulnerable kids in the lurch, its true purpose is to spread the idea that LGBT people are a threat, and it only increases the fear and polarization happening.

#mypost #sf _ youth transition #I hope by tagging it like that people subscribed to youth transition won't have to see it #but I do want a way to organize my blog on this topic because I have thoughts on it that can't be expressed in a slogan #this is what I wanted to express to steampunkette. but it appears I did a poor job on the other post.

[gastromancer]

@sad--fem (re: this post) look like.. im not rlly in ur head so i can’t puzzle out from here what distinctions you personally make between “trans people” and “mainstream trans ideology”, but like.. terfs specifically treat them as the same thing (i.e.: “the trans cult”, “genderists”, “gender cult”, “trans activists”/“TRAs”) and this specific move to frame transgender people as a “cult” that employs all this social/political power they somehow have to “maintain their dogma” is like a pretty notable & defining part of terf rhetoric/argumentation as a whole, and you make similar implications in yr post (“your very existence is a threat to trans ideology, so you are punished accordingly for it”.)

i’m not trying to deny or dismiss any negative experiences you had with trans people mistreating you— i think the lack of dialogue & support (and even outright enmity!) for de-transers is bad. but it is notable how bad experiences with trans ppl get framed as trans people “penalizing” detransers for “going against gender ideology” while radfems who make “female only spaces” that are maintained by encouraging everyone to “clock males” (based on bioessentialist logic of how “the sexes always look”) & regularizing shaming “TIMs” for their “ugly and ‘male’ appearance”… are not framed as having inherently harmful ideology on gender lol.

transphobia is very real it’s just not in my opinion a part of feminism the same way …

i’m not even sure where to start with this but like.. to put it blithely this is a bad take that entirely flattens & erases the dynamics of gendered oppression, & why and how gendered class domination of women exists at all (it can’t exist without a simultaneous oppression or hegemonizing of gayness and transness). this is why it’s important to know your stuff on materialist feminisms (monique wittig!) who look at women’s oppression for what it is, a system of domination that is based in maintaining class dynamics & relations of production, in which one class (men) exploits the other’s (women’s) sexual, reproductive and domestic labour.

not understanding the basic structure that produces gendered oppression means you’ll have bad takes like this (“homophobia & transphobia are not related to misogyny, they can overlap sometimes, but they’re not ‘a part of feminism’”).

patriarchy operates on prescribing relations btwn men and women; that it is ‘natural & necessary’ that men & women form heterosexual unions in which women’s “role” is to provide sexual, domestic & reproductive services to build Family and thereby Build the Nation. patriarchy operates based on mandating cisness & heterosexuality, and so patriarchy’s system of relations can only exist through marginalizing gayness & transness! and so any radical fight against patriarchy would necessarily have to center as well on the struggle against homo/transphobic violence (especially how that violence affects gay women & trans women). homo/transphobia is as central to feminist discourse as misogyny is.

and like specifically in regard to transmisogyny! in yr post you were literally like, complaining about how the absolutely virulent hatred toward trans women in radfem circles makes it that any “too masculine” woman that is accused of being a trans woman gets treated like garbage & pushed from women’s spaces. not once in yr post did you identify radfems’ tendencies to marginalize & exclude trans women as the problem though; the problem was that it affected you wrongfully, not that trans women being excluded is an issue in of itself.

#post #transmisia #on gender

[worstloki]

okay yes I had this thought too because as much as I want loki to be a very gnc and sex-positive icon I feel like so much of his femme characterization is the result of gay fetishizing, especially from straight fans who migrated to marvel from fandoms with more yaoi and BL

Also! Loki being bi/pan is often simplified to being gay and then only the gay part is addressed too? I know this is common with people going “oh you’re bi so you can date *opposite gender*” and “oh so you’re gay” BUT especially in m/m fics it’d be nice to have the sexuality brought in without ulterior motive sometimes 😔

#a fic goes ''loki is gay'' and im like ''ok that's cool what else you got--'' ''his entire personality is sexualizing that fact'' ''no <3'' #it's a shame! #being bi shouldn't be used as synonymous with gay that's two different labels ya got there mate #if it's from the perspective of a guy love interest sure! of course he'd be like 'oh i have a chance' #but for what reason if bi only have gay considered #if gay why make feminized and then treat it bad #hm? #HM?? #same thing with pan I see lots of fics going ''im pan'' ''oh so the horse story--'' #or ''im pansexual'' ''oh so you're into men! called it! could tell from your wrist you were gay'' #im like skkjnhgsdfcghjgfdfhycghvufycgdt #people can write what suits them and they are free to read whatever they wish #I personally can only read a story as crack thenceforth though #a sexuality doesn't have to immediately be sexualised #pls #😭😭😭

[usagi-akachan-moved]

HOW CAN YALL BE OUT THERE WISHING DEATH ON LITERALLY HALF THE POPULATION! I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT!!! SAYING YOU HATE EVERY MAN AND ALL MEN SHOULD DIE IS NOT OKAY!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO KEEP SAYING THIS SHIT MEN AND BOYS ARE REAL LIVE PEOPLE AND WERE BORN THE WAY THEY ARE (WHETHER TRANS OR CIS). HOW CAN YALL MOTHERFUCKERS BE OUT THERE CALLIN URSELVES FEMINISTS WHEN YOU LITERALLY WANT TO RID THE PLANET OF ANYONE WHO ISN'T AN ~UWU LESBIAN~. THAT'S NOT FEMINISM!!!! THAT'S BIGOTRY!!!!!!!

#screams from the rooftops #slams pots and pans together #i mean by all means shut the bigots down! #there are lots of terrible men but there are also lots of terrible women and not terrible men #jesus fucking CHRIST people why do i have to tell you to treat human beings like human beings?! #time and fucking time again!!!! #what about trans men? gay men? men of color? #seriously fuck yall #thinkin ur feminists #feminism is about equality not superiority #and youre making everyone else look bad #how do you think youll gain any traction if you refuse to treat any single man as a human being #*spits in radfems faces* fuck you #feminism #male positivity