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iameatingrocks · 4 months

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you know I’m a very “fuck cringe culture” kind of person but at the same time I find myself participating in. whenever I realize I’m doing it I feel so bad but I know why I’m doing it now I think.

It’s the fucking autism.

Whenever I engage in cringe culture it’s a form of masking. I’m replicating behaviors that have been inflicted on me about my similar interests.

so in the spirit of fuck cringe culture, here are some things that cringe culture hates that I absolutely love:

-having toys as an adult. I fucking love toys. lps are the cutest motherfuckers ever (except gen4-6, they are so flimsy and poorly made. Not cringe culture just literally poor execution. gen 1-3 & 7 my beloved)

-wonderwall. That song is so fucking good. I don’t care if it’s overdone on guitar. If I learn guitar again I’m learning wonderwall

-twilight. they are not perfect books by any means but my fucking god are they good. I love my shitty romance novels

-enjoying the current and past trends. I don’t need to be quirky or different or a contrarian, I can just enjoy shit.

-Justin Bieber. HIS EARLIER STUFF IS SO GOOD. I just listen to Maria a couple days ago and I stg it’s so so good. He made some absolute BANGERS. Other stuff is not my cup of tea tbh

-boy bands. *stares at trolls 3* you did this to me. THANK YOU TROLLS 3

-speaking of trolls 3, trolls franchise. that shit is SO good. broppy is so fucking cute and branch’s growth is so similar to mine that it hurts a bit. It’s such a good and underrated franchise.

-pop music. ITS NOT AS BAD AS PEOPLE MAKE IT OUT TO BE. It’s fun, it’s catchy, and damnit I like a fun and catchy song

-horse girls. y’all are cool as fuck.

-being different than other people. yes I am not like other girls. and that’s good! Being different is being human, and it’s good to acknowledge your differences

-liking shopping or being pretty. I am hot and I am funny and goddamnit I like to get new clothes

-liking “cringy” artists. Oh nooooo I like this person’s music— oh they’re cringe? I am SOOOOO sorry girl. Womp womp suck it up

-talking about my autism or queerness often. It’s a part of me and I will not ignore it.

-using neopronouns. that shit is SO much fun and so gender affirming

-enjoying “cringy” media and/or fandoms. I need silly media to be able to enjoy life

-enjoying fucking romcoms? I guess? Angst is not epitome of art. It is the gentle mornings, the bright laughter it’s to chaos, its mystery, it’s the intrigue, it’s the pain, it’s the sorrow, and it is the recovery. The epitome of art is being human, and the epitome of being human is being art.

-being overdramatic, philosophical, or deep. I’m allowed to feel deeply and fully and if you can’t handle it then you have some work you need to do

-complimenting myself. I think I’m hot, and I’m funny, and I’m kind, and im smart, and I deserve good things

-more things I can’t think of

#cringe culture #fuck cringe culture #trolls 3 #romcoms #music #art #text post #If there any mistakes in this I’m very sleepy and i desperately needed to get this thought out before i slept #my apologies gay people #actually autistic #actuallyautistic

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thequiver · 1 year

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you got any indie comics recommendations?

OH BOY DO I

So some of these are educational graphic novels bc of who I am as a person but they're SUPER GOOD and you should still read them - but here's my list of recommendations in no particular order

Marie Curie: A Quest for Light (a graphic novel bio of the famous scientist that highlights her politics!)

Folklords (only 5 issues, does some really cool stuff with subverted fantasy tropes, Ansel is a cutie, 8/10)

The Magicians (this is based on the book series by Lev Grossman, and if you're familiar with the FX show you already know the premise, but it's VERY FUN and I like it so it's on here)

The Good Neighbors (this is more of a YA vibe and as the title suggests deals with fae nonsense, very fun)

Something is Killing the Children (some other comics go along with this one like House of Slaughter, all are in the horror genre, and it's a GREAT TIME if you're into that sort of thing)

Shubeik Lubeik (THIS IS A REALLY COOL BOOK ABOUT WISHES AND HOW THOSE WOULD LOOK IN A MORE REALISTIC CAIRO AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH)

Pixies of the Sixties (this is a period piece that deals with things like xenophobia and racism while also playing up the aesthetics of 1960s London and fairies)

Now Let Me Fly: A Portrait of Eugene Bullard (a graphic novel bio of the first African-American fighter pilot)

Little Monsters (a horror story about children vampires in a post apocalyptic setting)

Judas (yes, Iscariot, it's a really fascinating look at the Biblical figure)

Heavy Vinyl (wlw, late 90s record store, teen girl vigilante fight club- good times)

Grimm (based on the NBC show of the same name, there are other titles set in this world too, I'm very fond of this extremely trashy fairtytale-cop show mashup and how poorly it represents cops)

Godshaper (there's a god for every person, except one and he teams up with a god who doesn't have a person and together they travel around looking for a warm welcome and a paying rock gig)

Evita, the Life and Work of Eva Perón (a biography of the former Argentinian first lady)

Eat the Rich (a little bit like Knives Out)

Carmilla: The First Vampire (queer feminist murder mystery inspired by the gothic novel, Carmilla, and pulling from Chinese folklore)

Bone Parish (a necromantic horror story about the rich peddling drugs made with the ashes of the deceased)

Blue Book (true tales of ordinary people encountering the strange and impossible - ex. alien abductions)

Art Brut (equal parts police procedural, hyper-fantasy, and psychological thriller set on a backdrop of a trip through art history)

Aristotle (biography of the philosopher dealing with more than just his ideas)

Alienated (a story about having the power to change the world but not being ready to wield that power- more YA vibes but a good read for any age imo)

Abbott (and Abbott: 1973- a tabloid reporter investigates grisly crimes she knows the police have ignored and that she knows are occult in origin)

#indie comics #comic recs

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redditreceipts · 5 months

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You have no idea how grateful i am for your blog. Its eye opening and i no longer feel like a hysterical bitch for worrying about what some trans movements (and im talking about those that want to police cis womens bodies too, not only theirs) was doing to feminism for past years.

Don't get me wrong... i think its fine when they do what makes them happy as long as they dont hurt other people. But more and more it feels like trans women want to dominate female spaces. And honestly, no matter how hard i try, i cant stop thinking thats its just male need to be always in the centre of attention. They come to us and instead of finding companionship and trying to fit in... they bring they own idea what a "woman" is and try to force it on every woman. Ones they dont agree with them they dubbed terfs and think that end of discussion. Another example of male entitlement if you ask me.

Im tired of bending backwards to appease them and once again ignoring womens issues as not to hurt trans womens feelings. Shouldn't they too be more empathetic towards cis women? Shouldn't they feel camaraderie with us? I'm yet to find trans woman who fights for feminist issues that dont concern her (i.e reproductive rights applicable only to bio women) with such ferocity cis women who are TRA fight for her right to be called a "woman". I'd want to be proven otherwise but more and more it seems like we're being talked over by men and male socialised people.

Sorry this came out long and probably makes no sense, but i feel like such a failure as a queer person to think like that. Maybe i am. But as a woman im tired of being silenced all over again. Now by the very people that claim sisterhood to me. But it feels like I'm the only one expected to hold my part of the bargain, they are exempt for some mysterious reasons. It's exhausting, I'm exhausted and honestly losing hope that my problems as a biological woman will ever be taken seriously.

Hey :)

I feel you in how difficult it can be to not feel like you have any people who see the same things you do. I also felt alone for so long because I had this nagging feeling about certain things, but most of the people I could find who were worried about the trans movement were conservative.

And I also get what it feels like to force yourself into cognitive dissonance. It’s hard to try and convince yourself of things that are so blatantly untrue, and in the end, it doesn’t work. at least not if you’re a same-sex attracted woman who is a lot in LGBT spaces and can’t just “ignore” these things.

And I guess that there are some trans women who genuinely care about women’s issues, the thing is that they are not heard or uplifted because at some point they have to admit that women and trans women are different categories, and the trans activists can’t have that. So every discussion can not be about material issues, but it has to be about the use of language and pseudo-philosophical debates. Because if you look at material reality, you notice that cis women and trans women are not just different types of women, but different sexes altogether (even though trans women sometimes live their lives as though they were female and experience discrimination because of that as well).

But most male-to-female trans activists are displaying such apparently male behaviour (sexualisation of women, talking over women, not taking women seriously, etc.) that you’d ask yourself why they don’t get dysphoria from that? I mean if I were a male who wanted to be a female, I’d at least try to appear female in some capacity lmao. I sometimes ask myself whether these people actually feel gender dysphoria or whether they have some other mental health problem that has nothing to do with being transgender.

But you’re not a failure as a queer person. Actually, I don’t think it’s productive to use that term because being “queer” is some nebulous concept whose creation had only the goal to confuse and obscure the “oppression” of biological sex and material reality. Even a kinky straight guy is queer, a straight woman who gets off on reading Yaoi is queer, and by a strict application of the term “queer” as “people who don’t conform to cultural norms around gender and/or sexuality”, even paedophiles are queer. That’s not to say that trans activists use it that way, but the definition leaves space for all kinds of unethical paraphilias. Being queer is not an oppressed class. What is an oppressed class is being a woman, being same-sex attracted, being gender non-conforming, etc.

You don’t owe the “queer community” anything. You owe it to people who suffer under systems of oppression like racism, capitalism, homophobia etc. to advocate for their rights and treat them as equals. You don’t owe it to some straight guy who watched too much lesbian porn to advocate for his rights. Literally nobody is oppressing him.

I actually think that at some point, women will realise their shared interests and stand up for themselves. My only fear is that to come to that point, we will go through some sort of conservative “Dark Ages”, but maybe we can do something to prevent that by showing a third way to analyse gender on the basis of material reality. It’s cool that you’re interested in that as well :)

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forabeatofadrum · 7 months

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Happy Out of Touch Thursday and remember the 21st of September yada yada. Thank you @artsyunderstudy, @larkral and @wellbelesbian for the tags yesterday. I didn't have time yesterday to post since I am super busy with my new degree and it's Not Going Well, but I do have something to say (partially regarding my degree, but more on that later.)

Remember my myosotis plant? The one who was thriving, but suddenly started dying? Well, a while ago I got rid of the dead parts so that the plant could focus on the new ones and this is her now:

It's nowhere as grandiose as before (the plants don't even grow that high so I had to make a photo from a bird's perspective), but she's alive and that's all that matters!

NOW. FIC STUFF. MY DEGREE. WHAT DO THEY HAVE IN COMMON? Time After Time, my MCD Snowbaz fic where Simon dies in the White Chapel and where an immortal Baz only sees him every 20 years when the Veil is lifted. I started a new philosophy master and again if we ignore the fact that I am terrible at it (so far), I actually have something that's on my mind and I have a question for people who've read it.

Spoilers for the ENDING of Time After Time under the cut. Do not read it if you haven't read Time After Time.

So first, the weather: @quizasvivamos @blurglesmurfklaine @coffeegleek @esperantoauthor @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @bazzybelle @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @tea-brigade @ivelovedhimthroughworse @moodandmist @whogaveyoupermission @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @ionlydrinkhotwater @1908jmd @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @cutestkilla @martsonmars @facewithoutheart @shrekgogurt @boyinjeans @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites @blackberrysummerblog @whatevertheweather

Okay, I am not sure how many people will read this, but if you're here, hi! And if you're here, you know that Time After Time ends with the end of the universe.

Or maybe you didn't know that and you're just here for the philosophical ride, which is fine.

So, Baz is immortal, but again, without an universe to exist in, he perishes as well. But OH? What is this? The chapter continues with Baz... being somewhere.

I wrote all of this with only a very basic idea of Descartes' cogito (which is the fancy word for the "I think, therefore I am" quote). In fact, I mostly knew it from a Klaine fic, which isn't surprising, and this was a very, very obscure homage to a fic that has nothing to do with this one. But now that I am actually delving into Descartes' philosophy on substance dualism, I am looking at this passage in a complete new way.

A basic bitch explanation of (substance) dualism is that it's the philosophical belief that there's a separation between body and mind. Descartes questions everything, including the existence of reality, which includes his own existence. He realises that he has, in his opinion, reasons to doubt whether his physical body exists, but the fact that he doubts means that he has a mind, and therefore, he cannot doubt that his mind exists. Get it? Hence, "I think, therefore I am" refers to him being able to rationalise his thoughts about existence, whatever they might be.

The relation between his body and mind is causal. If he has a mind, he can imagine having a body. They are separate entities, hence the whole dualism thing, but they co-exist. But since it's causal, you can say that you need to be able to understand the existence of your body by thinking about it. After all, your body moves according to what you mentally want it to do. Or that is what Descartes says. Full disclosure, dualism no longer holds up due to neuroscience, but whatever. The idea still stands and philosophy is all about ideas!

If you wish, you can reread the passage I just added above. Freaky, right?

Given that Descartes was trying to rationalise existence in general, and I wrote into the fic that Baz thinks of the existence of his body... my question for readers is this: Do you think Baz and Simon still exist?

I have thought a lot about this second ending, and I asked a previous question. I didn't mean to write some philosophical shit, but here we are. Descartes would argue that Baz exists, since he thinks. Because what is existence? After all, Baz is very well aware of the fact that there's nothing.

If this is non-existence, then what does non-existence even entail? He and Simon can spend the rest of whatever this is wherever they are, but what are they?

But then again, isn't his awareness of nothing proof that there is something? Isn't his perception of non-existence the proof of existence? Or is this the perfect "proof" that dualism is real in the Carry On universe, namely that the mind can continue to exist as a separate entity? But then how does that relate to Baz "feeling" corporeal? He has shoulders, because he wants to have them? Or does he even have shoulders? Maybe he's just under the impression that he has them.

(For the story's sake, let's say that he does have them. Otherwise we can argue that Simon actually doesn't show up at the end, since nothing is real, and that makes me upsetti spaghetti. I mean, Baz says it at the end. He doesn't have time to ponder whether this is real.) (But for philosophy's sake: is Simon even real???? And if nothing is real, then how can Baz no have time???? PHILOSOPHY!)

I am aware I am going all over the place and I am also aware there might not be a clear cut answer. That is how philosophy works. I admit, I don't even know if Simon and Baz exist at that point. I purposefully left it up in the air. The idea of them reuniting is cathartic, but it is indeed just an idea. But all this dualism shit did make me appreciate this chapter more and I think I am free to appreciate my own stuff, so I am asking the question.

So: do you think Simon and Baz exist at the end of the fic? And follow-up question: does it even matter?

----

---

As an extra, this is Simon's POV from the last three chapters of Time After Time. I did come up with that while writing the fic, but I never found space to add it: basically, as Simon said before, time passes weirdly. So for him, no time has passed. He moved on. He disappeared from Baz's flat, where they danced and said goodbye, and the next thing he knows, he's at the spot where the second epilogue takes place. He's a bit confused, because "is this the next step?" and stuff, but then he sees Baz. Baz is there with him, so he reaches out and smiles when Baz turns towards him. The implication here is that whatever is next after the Veil is supposed to be paradise or whatever you want to call it. It's supposed to be the thing you want. And what Simon ultimately wants is to be with Baz. Awwww!

#story: time after time #tagged in #wip wednesday #or more like surprise philosophy class thursday

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kamorth · 9 months

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Just as an intro, yes this post reads VERY white. Unfortunately a lot of recent history is only accessible through white lenses and as I myself am about as white as it is possible to be, I don't have another viewpoint that I can write from with any kind of authority. My lack of experience does not negate anyone else's experiences or views.

In the 80s, being punk was how you showed disdain for conformity. NO, I DON'T Want to be Like You THE WOLRD IS SHITTY AND I AM ANGRY. They were the trash that you warned your kids to stay away from because they were dangerous and violent.

Grunge quickly followed suit with Yeah the world is shitty why do what the boring conformist bougies tell you when you can just do your own thing over here instead. They were the trash you hoped your kids got sick of but the worst parents ever suspected of them was maybe a bit of weed and some clumsy make outs, not that big a deal.

In the late 90s (my teens) it was goths. We are so sick of you and your church and shoving it down my throat with pushing for prayer in schools and Christian Pop Rock all over the billboard top 40. That kid is a witch now and You JUST Don't Get It. Depression is my baseline and the idea of being like you is the cause. We were the trash that were just indulging in a phase and would grow out of it, so we could be humored but mostly ignored (unless your parents were hard core Bible bashers, in which case you would get sent to something akin to conversion therapy - since you were also probably Queer it often was just outright conversion therapy).

Then the emos showed up and people started getting annoyed, partly because suddenly there were goths that you COULDN'T ignore for two reasons, they were LOUD about being sad and THERE WERE SO MANY OF THEM. Since they couldn't be ignored out of existence, the Western world decided to collectively bully them instead. They were the trash that was Just So Damn Cringe!

And now poverty is skyrocketing. Homelessness is a plague that has struck so many people who have committed no crime outside of bad luck. Actual fascists are in positions of power. Planned obsolescence and decades of lobbying by the oil industry in favour of petrol and plastics is destroying everything beautiful about this planet.

And Punk is back. Be ANGRY at your politicians who don't listen. Let your anger be heard so that they know you will not accept these ideas. Grunge is back. It doesn't have to be new, it just has to be functional. Work together to make a community you WANT to live in. Goth is back. Mourn for the world we were promised but never saw. Learn about belief systems that are different to the one you were raised in, ESPECIALLY if doing so pisses off your parents. Emo is back. Fuck haters. Cringe is dead. Being comfortable in your own skin means being allowed to do what YOU want, not having to exist for the benefit of someone else.

Before us it was hippies and beatniks and flappers and dadaists and before them there were the coffee shop philosophers and the point is there have ALWAYS been people who want the world to see its own flaws and fix them. I know other cultures had the same sorts of groups, like the Japanese Subekan gangs (who created the original lolita fashion trend as a way to take femininity back from being sexualized) and Islamic Sufism (an Islamic sect who practice things forbidden by stricter groups, such as singing and dancing) but I'm an armchair scholar, not an expert.

When society is broken, our numbers surge.

We are surging.

Society needs us.

#do good recklessly #Because society fucking HATES it #It's all good talking about how the world needs to be fixed #But to change things #You need to do things differently #And people despise change #And counterculture shows them a mirror that tells them they need to change anyway #When you dye and style your hair ''unprofessionally''#When you mend torn clothes with safety pins and patches instead of buying new ones #When you don't wear the make up and clothes from this season's displays during the season they're being displayed #And that's enough to make some bigot scoff at you and treat you as less human than them #You are shoving that mirror in their face #You are asking them what the fuck they think freedom means Earl #And if you can do that safely you should #And if you are as white and straight passing and cis passing as I can be #You are probably WAY more likely to be able to do that safely #So you should #Because there are SO MANY people who can't #ESPECIALLY NOW #YOU ARE NOT CRINGE FOR NOT CONFORMING #Conformity is a tool of those in power #Fight the system by not following stupid rules #And most of them are stupid

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gillianthecat · 1 year

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GAP — episode 2

It seems like my GAP reactions have become the space in which I wax philosophical about various matters political and personal. But it's an excellent show nonetheless, I'm starting to really like it!

below the cut are my thoughts while watching:

- So does Sam know that she has a crush and is flirting like mad? I honestly can't tell how self-aware she is.

- Sam's friends! I love them all already. I appreciate that this show is populating Sam's world with interesting queer women. It feels like they've studied the boys' shows and are applying all the lessons carefully and skipping over a lot of the growing pains. So if Sam already knows she's queer, maybe she does realize she has a crush, she's certainly waiting by the phone anxiously. Then again, she seems not very in touch with her feelings in general.

- Ok. I hate grandmother. I love both the sisters. And Freen is great at portraying the two versions of Sam—young, open and vulnerable, and grown up, hard and walled off.

- On the one hand, I’m guessing that Sam just wants an excuse to keep bringing Mon into her office. Which is adorable. On the other hand, I’m having to actively work to not get annoyed at how bad a boss Sam is being. Not so much the meanness, that I can handle, but at how unskillful she is at it. Just telling your employee (who is brand new to the office and to the working world in general!) "change it" and "it doesn’t wow me" without giving any specifics? That is not the way to get the results you want with any efficiency. On the third hand, I am relieved not to hear them rambling on about "influencers" and marketing." So possibly a win overall. And their dynamic is great.

- And Mon called her out for it it! Bless you, darling. Sam tried to pull that boss bullshit are you just lazy? thing, but at least I know the show isn't ignoring it. And that is enough for me to be content, I think.

- I think I may actually really like this show? I was going to watch it regardless as long as it wasn't completely terrible (and I made it all the way through fahlanruk, so clearly my tolerance for terrible is high) just to a) support Thai GL, and b) see what they would do, but it's turning out to be very good. A solid story, good characters, lots of really good details, and it feels genuinely queer. I'm so pleased.

- The one sticking point for me is the whole influencer social media thing, but thinking about it, I can see how that was the best choice. If they want to make a billionaire romance with a cruel boss and and an ingenue employee, which I fully support because it's a genre with a lot of delicious potential, especially when made lesbian (I have no interest billionaire romance when done straight á la Fifty Shades of Gray, but love it when it's played with in some way) then they need a company for the billionaire to run. And they need to find something that a) could realistically become profitable in this day and age, b) Lady Sam could plausibly be passionate about, because the tension between her love for running a business and grandmother's pressure on her to live a traditional heterosexual life is crucial to the story they're telling, and c) feels cool and hip to fit the aesthetic of the show. So it can't be a paper company or something boring, and advertisers have always been the sexy creatives of the business world. "Content Creators" aren't as interesting, but they are more modern and more plausible as a start up business. And so while social media marketing still makes me recoil, and I honestly think is responsible for a lot of ills in this world,* I do understand their reasoning and I think that will allow me to tolerate and ignore it. I just hope Sam learns how to be an effective boss at some point along the way too!

*I didn't find Mad Men's ad agency setting off-putting in the same way. Perhaps because the creativity is more obvious in what they were doing, perhaps because it was all set in the past so it had that nostalgic fascination rather than watching people work at something that is actively making the world and my own life worse today. Not that advertising in the 60's didn't do a shit ton of harm to the world that continues to fuck over the planet. But I don't personally feel it as viscerally. Plus I think there is less creativity in the sort of content creation that Lady Sam's company seems to be doing, although to be honest the whole show is keeping it all pretty vague for now.

- Tangent over. I love how full of queer women this show is! It's not just the main couple, it's both of Sam's sisters, probably all of her friends, and even the villain and/or faen fatale! The only heterosexual couple (besides the parents) were kicked off the show in the first half an hour, in a loss for workers' rights but a victory for gay rights. And the only confirmed straight guy is Mon's creepy friendzoned neighbor, who is all but discarded. (Kirk may be straight, but it's not confirmed yet.)

- Speaking of which, I'm kind of excited to see what this villainous woman is going to do.

- I suspect most people associate Heng with Sky and expect him to be good, but my strongest association is with his character from War of Y so I keep waiting for him to be at least mildly evil.

- I actually really appreciate that this migraine is a situation in which taking medicine actually makes sense to me. Characters in Thai shows keep taking medicines for ailments that don't seem fixable with medicine and it always slightly annoys me. I don't know if that's part of the general Thai approach to health, or if it's just a shorthand for caretaking that dramas have developed, but it is so different from my approach.

- Oh how tender. Her head on her lap. I like this rendition of the caretaking trope. It uses the tropes, but puts its own spin on it to make it feel interesting and real.

- (I feel like I had that shirt pattern as wallpaper as a child. I'm not knocking Mon's outfit, I love her workwear style! But it definitely has a late eighties/early nineties vibe, especially combined with the oversized blazer in that shade of pink.)

- I love how even half asleep and knocked out with pain and drugs Sam (pardon me, Hon. Lady Sam) is still bossy and prickly and rude.

- Sleepy taxi head to shoulder slide my beloved! (I don't know what to call this trope, but it's always a good one.)

- I don't think I've ever seen That Fucking House 1.0 from the street before. I always pictured it somewhere more suburban and quiet.

- I love their dynamic so much! And I'm glad that Mon is getting the stars knocked out of her eyes—it makes for a much more interesting story (and a healthier relationship) if she has to fall back in love with the real Sam, rather than coasting on hero worship.

- Omg, I adore prickly bossy Sam. She is so cat coded. Be polite. Why are you so formal. Text me. Why are you texting me, you should call. Why are you calling me. 😸 I thought maybe it was because I'd just watched Choco Milk Shake so I'm imagining cats everywhere. But no. Mon really is another cat. I love her. And just like Milk, she is totally confused by her feelings and has no idea how to act around her crush. She sure sat up quick though 😹

- Oh Mon baby. My darling. How heartbreaking to find out that your idol, your forever crush, is not the person you thought she was. That she's actually mean and rude and confusing and is a terrible boss. And you're just trying to be a good employee but you have no idea what she wants from you. Oh my darling.

- Oh my god, Sam has zero social skills. I mean, it makes sense why, but she is a disaster. Mon is doing a great job of telling her when she's being hurtful or confusing, and every time Sam doubles down on acting like an asshole. Sigh. I still love her though.

- I am glad that Mon has the spine to keep standing up to her. Otherwise their relationship would be doomed and hard to root for. She does it kindly, but clearly and with a strong sense of her own rights and needs as a person. That's hard to do for any brand new intern to their powerful asshole boss, let alone one who's been nursing a hero worship crush for over a decade.

- Oof this scene! Mon kneeling as Sam walks by glammed up with sunglasses on, and completely ignores her.

- I do like this accountant. And I'm inclined toward Kirk. No matter what his role ends up being. I appreciate his rich boy charm here.

- Omg. Of course she hand delivers the snack to Mon. In the rudest, most awkward manner possible. My favorite feral cat. And yes. The battle of wills has begun. ngl, I was nervous about the whole hero worship angle last week, but they're crushing that underfoot quite nicely.

- Does Kirk know about her crush? Maybe even before she does, lol. Also I'm so relieved that Sam has all these friends who tease her when she's got a stick up her ass and treat her like a human being and also genuinely care for her.

- What a spiky kitty cat. Calm your fur, girl.

- This courtship is going to be amazing. I'm so excited to watch Sam flailing around trying and failing to act like a human around Mon. Kirk is all of us in his reactions. 😹

- Date date date! Wingmanned by the fiancé! Which, honestly is necessary at this point. They cannot handle being alone together yet.

- Jesus Christ Sam. You are the embodiment of that Get out of my school meme. I cannot believe the things coming out of your mouth.

- Oh no. Kitty cat, sweetheart, you're going to burn off the roof of your mouth. Stop trying to act cool in front of your crush. Mon's face 😂

- Lol. Well she fooled all of us. I guess she really is cool after all.

- Look at them! Managing to have an almost civil conversation! I'm liking this Kirk-Mon allyship that's developing. I don't know if it will withstand the pressure of the angst to come, but it's something Mon, and their developing relationship, need right now.

- Cat cat cat! She is such a cat. She refuses to look at Mon even though 100% of her attention is focused on her right now 😸 ooh and the boyfriend comment made her gruum-py!

- I can't tell what Kirk knows (I can't even tell what Sam and Mon know about themselves at this point) but I love him for playfully calling out Sam about posing on her car 😸

- Damn! Sam is already asking who Mon is sleeping with. My beloved ill mannered alley cat. And she's so proud of her little joke 😸

- Aw. Mon's crush is back and she is giddy with it. And what an ending moment.

I'm excited about this show now. They're doing so many things right! The story seems solid and well structured, a good base to carry the relationship through to the end. And I feel like they're hitting the right balance for Mon and Sam's dynamic. Sam is spiking and mean and awkward, and a terrible boss, but we also see her with her friends so we know that she can take teasing and be human sometimes, and that she has people in her life that love her. She's mean enough to build that delicious tension, but vulnerable enough that I can see why Mon likes her, and I don't feel like I need to yell at her to run away. And Mon has a good balance between being open and awestruck, while still having the backbone to stand up to her hero. It reassures me that their relationship is going to feel equal, not like a creepy boss taking advantage of her employee. Those sorts of extreme power dynamics are not what I'm looking for in a story; what I like about subverted billionaire romance is seeing how the characters manage the power dynamics in order to have a real relationship.

Based on the trailer and the grandmother's everything, I'm pretty sure this series is going to get angsty and sad. But given the nuance with which they've been treating the characters so far, I trust them to handle it well.

#gap the series #gillianthecat reacts to gl #kind of like liveblogging #gap the series ep 2 #office settting ql

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flock-of-cassowaries · 5 months

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I’m having a deep think right now about the overlaps and the differences between the appeal of fascism, and that of libertarianism.

On one level, this is because I am writing a Sucession fanfic, and trying to get into Roman’s head.

But on another level only reason I’m even writing Succession fanfiction is that I identify with Roman, and that is in large part because he is a queer person who is philosophically in the thrall of his terrifying conservative father, whose love he desperately craves.

And once upon a time, that used to be me. And I feel deep and abiding shame about that.

(Not the sexy kind of shame. The devastating kind.)

But as I delve into philosophical discussions of fascism and conservatism (and honestly, I have not yet delved the deeply), I’m starting to realize that maybe I have less in common with Roman, and more with Connor (if we leave out his weird S3 white-nationalism dog whistles about the evils of onanism).

I’m basing a lot of this on the first chapter – which is all I have read so far - of “The Reactionary Mind” by Corey Robin; which I came upon via the source list for the linked YouTube video.

youtube

[link to “Endnote 2: White Fascism” by Innuendo Studios, on YouTube.]

Robin (if I’m understanding him correctly) posits that the end goal of conservatism is fundamentally Fishstick fascistic, and that the real animus driving political conservative movements is always the desire of the privileged to remain above those the existing social order oppresses.

I have certainly voted for, and carried water for, conservatives (a fact of which I am, again, deeply ashamed), but I don’t think that was ever the real appeal for me.

I’m not saying I didn’t internalize beliefs that were (I now realize) racist, classist, ableist, and elitist; but I don’t think that was ever the main draw, so much as a side effect of reading the goddamn National Post every fucking day

But for me, I think the main appeal of conservatism was the illusory promise of total self-sufficiency, and of being impossible to further hurt. It was the libertarian lie, bound up in the same nihilistic appeal as the Nine Inch Nails song whose hook is “Nothing can stop me now, cause I don’t care anymore.” (‘Piggy’ is the song.)

In this respect, I think I had more in common with Connor; I was also the discarded child who grew up to think of themself as “a flower that grows on rocks and feeds on the insect that land inside of it.”

Honestly, that soliloquy (from S4E2) could’ve been me at thirteen.

I felt rejected and shunned by the world, but I was also rapidly becoming aware that I could use my looks and intelligence as currency (just a Connor uses his literal currency as currency).

It was only when I was 21, and ended a long relationship, and found myself with no one to turn to, and no idea who I was, that my father swooped in to be my new best friend; and that’s when I became more Roman-like in my fawning attempts to appeal to him.

But I think Roman truly believes that his father is better than him, whereas a much more significant part of me always knew my own dad was a false prophet.

I think the world reaffirmed this belief in Roman, because his father has been so successful, and I think his father, concerned with legacy, has been much more active in fostering this mythology than my own father was.

(My dad would tend to just willfully ignore that l existed for several years at a stretch, if I was acting too cringe [i.e. not stereotypically conservative-lady feminine enough] for his conservative sensibilities; something I am assuming that Shiv could probably relate to.

The scene where Logan tells her he wants her back in the fold was very similar to what my father did with me when I was 21, and I glowed just the same way she did.)

But yeah, I think an internalized belief on Roman’s part that his father truly is better than him, and a desire to “be as good” as his father in order to redeem himself and overcome this inadequacy in his person, really feeds into Roman’s affinity for fascism / conservatism.

And I think that belief structure is with him in that bathroom with Mencken, unacknowledged and subconscious, and even more insidious than his conscious priorities of wanting to win points with Logan, and maaaaaybe wanting to be pushed to his knees and have a fascist phallus (a fascllus? I’m going to hell) thrust upon him.

Anyway, if anyone ever reads this, feel free to suggest some books / essays / videos to my reading list.

So far, in addition to the above-mentioned Cory Robbins tome, I am planning to actually finish “The Ur-Fascist” by Umberto Ecco, and to at least dip into “The Dialectic of Enlightenment” by Horkheimer and Adorno, and “The Authoritarian Personality” by Adorno.

#succession #succession fanfic #succession fanfiction #roman roy #connor roy #roman roy character analysis #connor roy character analysis #succession themes #politics in succession #libertarianism in succession #fascism in succession #libertarianism vs fascism #the reactionary mind #corey robin #overthinking succession #long rambling essay #jeryd mencken #logan roy #Youtube

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lfenvs3000f23 · 5 months

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Blog Post 10:

"Describe your personal ethic as you develop as a nature interpreter. What beliefs do you bring? What responsibilities do you have? What approaches are most suitable for you as an individual?"

My personal ethic as a nature interpreter is to be as intersectional, inclusive and accessible as possible, but also realistic. Call me an eco-nihilist if you will, but as a queer, leftist woman who grew up in a religious, right-winged environment- while also facing financial and non-visible disabilities- I feel I have a good understanding of the flaws of today’s society and can look at it through a critical lens. I also am white and have had the ability to attend university, so I must acknowledge that privilege or “invisible assets” as we spoke about in the earlier units. Therefore, I have a responsibility to use my privilege and knowledge for good, through advocating for those who haven’t been as fortunate in the lottery of life, in terms of social/physical privilege. Obviously societal norms, ethics and attitudes are important because they impact the way we as humans, interact with the world and nature around us. I am an existentialist in a philosophical nature, therefore I believe as humans, we create our own meaning and purpose and we have a moral responsibility to use our free will to do good. Or whatever drives us intuitively. I initially got into this field through my love for animals and ultimately wanting to protect those who cannot protect themselves (e.g., the earth and its critters). I’ve since never regretted a day of this decision. I often ponder what it would be like if I had pursued another field like medicine or engineering, but I think environmental science and research would always be in the back of my mind. I feel a very strong pull and calling to nature, and sitting in a cubicle all day 365 days a year sounds torturous. I strongly believe we have a responsibility (or rather, obligation) to protect the world around us as we know it. I actually completely agree with the indigenous values around honouring nature and I think as a society we could benefit largely from incorporating indigenous knowledge and practices.

Do I have minimal faith in how much longer mankind can continue in the ways we are, and not pay for it? Do I feel personally that the world is screwed? Do I believe that big corporations and industries are completely and entirely at fault for the destruction of the planet? Do I hate that the blame and guilt is placed on the individual for it? The answers to all of those questions would be yes. But not in the way you would think.

I’ve kind of made peace with my feelings on these things - they used to bother me and make me so upset in my teens. I was actually on a strict vegan diet for 6 years because I felt I had such a personal responsibility to lower my carbon footprint. I ended up becoming pretty weak and anemic by the end of it. I applaud vegans and have so much respect for them; I sometimes contemplate going back to it sometimes, but it’s not realistic to be 100% perfect all the time. Climate anxiety is a real thing and I’ve made peace with it. Some might call it being complacent or ignorant, but in today’s society sometimes you just need to protect your mental peace and sanity. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is just accept that you can’t change the world all by yourself and that’s okay. I will vote to protect the climate, fight social injustices, drink almond milk, use reusable bags/straws/etc., take public transit, and do anything I physically can for these causes, but I will no longer spend waking hours ruminating on it, and feeling guilty. If I’m dedicating my life to a career meant to help the environment and protecting it for future generations - that’s enough for me. Not to say that we shouldn’t (Or I wouldn’t fight for it), because I would. I just feel that a lot of today’s environmental activism is very performative, has toxic positivity and not realistic a lot of the time (e.g., virtue signalling on instagram). Overall, in a capitalist society, environmentalism is the last priority and it’s extremely hard to have these two things coincide. Not to say that it’s impossible, but there are so many issues at play, a large one being socioeconomic status. It's expensive and not accessible to be "eco-friendly" a lot of the times, and this isn't the consumer's fault! This isn’t an environmental ethics or philosophy course so I won’t delve into it further, but social and environmental justice is very important to me. I just think it’s more of a multi-faceted and extremely complex problem than people think. And this should be widely communicated! I don’t want our youths of today to feel like the burden is on them, because it’s not.

This is why, going back to what I said at the beginning, an accessible and inclusive approach to nature interpretation is my main goal. Whether its explaining scientific concepts as simply and concisely as possible, incorporating the different learning styles, or using accessible learning for disabilities. Everyone has a right to an equal opportunity to pursue nature and environmental education!! Everyone should feel welcome and like they belong, because they do! The world needs future researchers, consultants, environmental interpreters, engineers, etc.,. I’m not sure if I will pursue nature interpretation as a career, as it isn’t in my current plans at the moment, but this course has definitely shown me its importance in guiding the people of today and also of the future.

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my-strange-attraction · 7 months

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Man people really do be straw-manning you and then interpreting all of your arguments in the worst faith possible and acting like that makes them So Smart And Correct. I’m sorry you gotta deal with all these bozos with zero reading comprehension or critical thinking skills. Just wanna add because it’s been seriously bothering me and I don’t remember you ever bringing it up: one of the core tenets of the original op’s post that you responded to was basically ‘this identity is bad because I’m a lesbian and those people aren’t lesbians in the exact same way as me so they’re hurting the lesbian community because I don’t want to see them when they don’t share all of my experiences and (gasp!) talk about men and their relationship to men sometimes because *I* don’t want to hear about men’ and I just. Idk man if that’s what his argument boils down to its kind of a shitty argument. Even ignoring all of the terf rhetoric (which you correctly pointed out) I can’t even begin to understand why someone would want to be in a queer community where everyone fits into neat little boxes and everyone with your label experiences their orientation exactly like you. Aren’t they forgetting that the whole point of the queer community is that larger society attempted to put us in boxes we didn’t want to be in and categorize us into labels and lifestyles we didn’t want? Why would someone ever parrot the actions of our oppressors and do that to other queer people, when they know what it feels like? I can’t even fathom being that selfish and closed minded

>your argument is chock full of straight up lies Love how this was said in response to your rebuttal of an argument that CONTAINED ITS OWN “STRAIGHT UP LIES”!! Like pot meet kettle lol. Specifically referring to that one bit that was like “uwu bi women tried really hard on purpose to distance themselves from the lesbian community” because that is straight up not what happened!! I haven’t said anything yet but it’s been bothering me for a while and that one ask has so much fucking Audacity that I couldn’t stop myself from Pointing It Out this time. Ahistorical bullshit and they’re accusing YOU of lying. The audacity of it all I can’t

Anyway these guys are just mad that bi lesbians get more bitches than they EVER will. I heart bi lesbians I love you bi lesbians I hope y’all stay winning mwah <3

I'm assuming these are all from the same person because of the timing? If not, sorry for not doing separate responses.

Yeah, this whole thing has been pretty frustrating to be honest. In a way it's even worse than actual terfs, because these are people who are philosophically not that different than I am, and if we met in real life we probably wouldn't even know that we disagree. I mean, I do talk sometimes about label anarchy with some of my friends, but we have to be close and you have to get me in a philosophical mood. It's really frustrating to be openly disrespected as a person for one opinion that, though it does happen to be really important to me, doesn't come up in my everyday life (or, likely, theirs either).

The whole pronoun thing really got to me too. I KNOW they were just strawmanning, and I KNOW it wasn't really a valid critique of anything I said, but the suggestion that I would even consider purposely using the wrong pronouns for someone is upsetting. I don't think he even noticed before an anon pointed it out as a way to invalidate my argument. I don't think it upset him (or the anon) as much as the anon said it did. I still apologized though because I'm not going to not apologize for using the wrong pronouns.

Also I know jack shit about history because it doesn't stay in my break but yeah actually I do remember reading about that! That's crazy, I can't believe they called me a liar when they don't know their history. I mean, I don't either, but at least I'm honest about it.

Thanks so much for sending these messages! Not gonna lie, I was going a bit crazy with all this and the only anons I was getting until now have been the hate ones that I've shared and a few hate ones that I just outright deleted. I know people agree with me because I've seen the likes on my posts, but it's nice to have someone defending me as well, so thank you <3

#ask #labels #queer #identity #cloudy rambles

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anticomedygarden · 8 months

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England's got a new queen! epilogue (two weeks later)

part one | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ao3 link

thanks to everyone who stuck with this for all 6 chapters! i love y'all

Alex has to hand it to whoever was in charge of planning this funeral - they sure knew how to throw a depressing party.

Shockingly, it wasn't for lack of trying. The lights are bright, there's oodles and oodles of finger foods and dozens of people to eat it, but there's no ignoring the coffin on the raised platform at the end of the hall, and, honestly, that's not even the worst thing in the room.

There are people everywhere, milling around, talking, showing themselves like a sad who's who of the British upper class. They've all got on designer mourning clothes and flashy jewelry, men carrying business papers in their wallets to show investors and women smiling prettily at them. Older white people sit in the uncomfortable, thousand dollar furniture playing at being happy to be here. No one is really here for Mary; no one is here to mourn, not even Catherine or Philip. It's like the real life version of Death of a Salesman.

It makes Alex sick.

He hates her, hated her with every fiber of his being, but this is truly one of the worst things he's ever seen, some sort of disgusting amalgamation of everything wrong with the world, because not only is everyone pretending to care about the dead woman on the pedestal, he and Henry are the only openly queer people here, Alex one of the few people of color present. It's all so white, so bland, so damn fake, he has to wonder if Mary ever had anything real in her life, anything good. It almost makes him understand how she got to be the way she was, not that it's any excuse.

As much as he hates it, even Alex can't escape the ambassadors and nobility that all want to talk to him and get into his good graces now that Catherine is (about to be) the queen. That, too, makes him want to throw him up.

Henry's around here somewhere, at least, talking to Bea. It's been very hard to separate them since he and Alex were first whisked off to London two weeks ago. That had been a ride. Coming back from vacation to find out the queen was dead and everyone thought someone was trying to kill them? Not an experience Alex wants to repeat, though he is looking forward to the party Pez promised to throw once things calm down.

After a few minutes of standing alone, he finally can't take it anymore and wanders out onto the grounds. He finds a bench in a small garden and sits down, relaxing in the clear, warm air. It's not as good as Colorado, but it's better than being inside.

A few minutes later, Philip sits down next to Alex on the little white bench, face pinched with deep thought.

Maybe it's the funeral, but the words leave Alex’s mouth before he realizes what he’s saying. "How are you doing with all of this?"

Philip shoots him a confused look, as if he can't believe Alex is having this conversation with him, and, honestly, Alex can't really believe it, either.

He presses on. "I may not like you that much, but I know you were closer to her than anyone else was. It's gotta be at least a little hard for you." That, and this sad as fuck funeral getting him a bit philosophical about all their places in the world.

Philip takes a moment to answer. "I'm not…unhappy," he says, still looking down.

Alex rolls his eyes. "C'mon man, I'm not gonna judge you for being sad that your grandma died."

Philip snorts, the closest thing to a laugh Alex has ever gotten from him. "It's - odd. I thought I would be sad - and I am - but there's other things as well."

Alex waits for him to continue, but Philip just gazes out across the green green courtyard. "You can tell me, if you want, and I'll swear on my mom's immigration policy that I won't tell Henry."

That earns him another snort, and Philip finally looks at him. "I'm glad Mum's about to be Queen. That's definitely something I'm happy about. I'm glad Martha and I won't be berated about our future children anymore when we visit the palace."

"Oh, yeah, definitely a bonus."

"I'm glad that you, Henry, and Bea will have more freedom to do what you want, now." He stops there, and Alex thinks he might be about to pull out the big guns. "I think, maybe, I'm also glad for myself that I won't have to run my life based on her anymore."

Oh. Alex does a double take. He wasn't expecting that. "What do you mean?"

Philip takes a breath. "For so long, I ran my life according to her. I based my career on her, my beliefs, even Martha was approved by her, and for the most part, all it did was hurt all of you, just for her funeral to look like this."

Despite his promise, Alex wishes someone else were here to witness this and verify that he isn't hallucinating because it sounds like Philip is...remorseful, and Alex realizes that this kind of funeral is exactly what Philip's life is heading toward.

"And then that makes me feel guilty that I was so horrible for no reason. I-" he pauses. "I should've been better."

"Hey," Alex says, and dear god, he's about to comfort Philip. "You may have been a dick then, but you've grown a lot. I mean, if it were five years ago, I'd have been worried you would throw yourself on her funeral pyre. Now, we're having a civil conversation at her funeral. You're doing pretty good."

"Really?" There's a good deal of hope in his blue eyes alongside the grief. Alex is happy he could make something real in the midst of these fakers.

"Yeah." Alex spots Henry walking toward them, a day of sunshine, more real than anything. "You good?"

He nods. "Yes, thank you, Alex."

"Kay, see you." He hops off the bench and walks toward his boyfriend. "Hey, baby, how’re you doing?"

Henry smiles at him. "Pretty good, actually."

That's good. Alex had been afraid the funeral would remind him of Arthur's and become a trigger, but the blond seems to be fine. "I'm glad."

Henry takes his hand as they start on the stone path around the garden. "What were you and Philip talking about?"

Alex waves his hand. "Just Mary and how she enjoyed ruining lives."

"Is that really appropriate for her funeral?" Henry asks, though his mouth quirks.

"It's always appropriate, sweetheart." They walk a few places. "What about you? How are you feeling?"

Henry takes a moment to think. "I feel pretty good, honestly. Lighter, almost as if I've left some worries behind in the coffin."

Alex doesn't doubt. During the last two weeks, Henry had been trying to figure out how to allow himself to be happy without feeling guilty, something Bea had helped a lot with. The princess had had no qualms about her joy at the matriarch's passing nor the spreading of it. Alex is just happy that Henry's happy.

Of course, he's sure at some point, they'll have to contend with their newfound freedom, figure out what to do with less restraints, but they were going to have to do that anyway when Henry's abdication went through.

Speaking of- "Hey, I've been meaning to ask. You still want to abdicate right? You were pretty set on it before."

Henry nods. "Of course. It's still the right thing to, for your career and for the world. The time of monarchies is ending, I hope."

"Thank god."

Henry murmurs his assent, and they keep walking through the flowers in the sun, breathing easy, like they're just two anonymous people in the world without the weight of two countries on their shoulders.

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ouyangzizhensdad · 3 years

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i've debated with myself so much about madam yu and saw you rt that post defending her and i read it but it still didn't sit right with me, i'm not chinese but i am from one of those taugh love mom cultures and still find her extra bad, i asked a few chinese people who don't stan the book and they were horrified at the defense and said that it was not normal, sure she shows regular ch mom characteristics but she's like the hyperbole of a ch mom so does anyone own the monopoly of wha's normal?

Hi there anon,

This is only my pov and I cannot speak from the perspectives of Chinese and Chinese diasporic people, nor for the people who wrote on the topic of Yu-furen (I can only speak of how I interpreted the posts I came across).

My understanding of the situation, however, is that they are not attempting to do with these posts what you are suggesting. You ask “does anyone own the monopoly of what’s normal”, which suggests you believe the posts meant to give a definitive answer on what is ‘normal’ behaviour, when in reality the posts seem to have been made with the opposite aim in mind: to remind people who do not share the cultural background of the intended audience of MDZS that there does not exist a single definition of what constitute “normal” behaviour and that fandom discussions dissecting every single action or word of Yu-furen’s toward any character to portray them as “clear signs of abuse” has been difficult to stomach and might even feel imperialistic for people who have been raised by parents who came from a cultural background where some of these very behaviours are not regarded as abusive.

These posts, in general, have also seemed to attempt first to explain the nuances of Yu-furen’s relationship to WWX, which often gets wrongfully portrayed as her unequivocally being his adoptive mother or a legal guardian. She is not a mother figure to him and does not act toward him from that position. These have also aimed to remind people that the behaviours and care we feel are “owed” to “children” as a group are spatiotemporally specific, and influenced by a variety of factors--in this case, WWX being the child of a servant and a disciple of the sect. By reminding people that, in her position, in that specific spatiotemporal moment, Yu-furen would have been allowed to be much more extreme in her disciplining or could have simply refused to let WWX stay in Lotus Pier, what I feel these posters are doing is not telling Westerners that they personally think it would be appropriate behaviour towards a child, but rather highlighting that this means something wrt how Yu-furen is characterised in the context of the novel considering that the intended audience of the novel would be aware of that reality. Differently put, that it suggests a framing of Yu-furen as someone that does bark more than she bites even if she does bite. And aside from the irrelevant surface-level readings of Yu-furen as a sort of “girlboss” that seem to originate mostly from the CQL-verse in any case, I’ve never seen anyone suggest that she is irreproachable. All the serious analyses I’ve seen acknowledge that Yu-furen is meant to be a complicated figure or acknowledge that she abuses her authority in the sect by giving WWX punishments she does not bestow on other disciples. What they seem to disagree with is the ways western fans make sweeping generalisations and accusations without the relevant context, which comes off to them as insensitive and coming from a place of cultural ignorance.

Maybe it is time for a discussion that humanist thought, that which underlines so much of our modern understanding of rights and social progress, flattens spatiotemporal differences (or, as they often talked about, cultural differences), staying deeply rooted in Western supremacy when it aims to provide a single answer to what is right and what is a right. It can verge very easily into the evangelical and the imperialistic: we have only to look at the influence of the “global” LGBT movement has had on erasing localised social organisations and identity markers by superposing themselves unto them as more intelligible ideas through which to barter for rights with the political class. Or worst, by having the “global” LGBT movement frame localised expressions of queerness as not progressive enough or harmful (sometimes I think back at Gaudio’s ethnography of queer men in the Hausa-speaking region of northern Nigeria, and how the men who took on the penetrative role in sex generally switch to self-reference and being referenced in a feminine way and using “women’s talk”, and thinking “wow, they would be so cancelled or condescended to by tumblr kids 😬”).

The point of this tangent is not to underline that everything about humanism or its influences on modern life are bad, but that it is an intellectual “tool” that can be do harm and be imperialistic and racist (since it is generally the White, Christian-adjacent, Western standards that are posited as the moral truth that defies differences in cultures and material contexts). And most of the discussions of what “adults” owe to “children” (ideas that are generally treated as homogeneous and clear-cut across time and space, as apriori categories), of what rights are owed to children, exist within these frameworks. Or, they might exist within the framework of “science,” as if science itself cannot be influenced by Western imperialism and researchers’ biases. Reading western language acquisition research and comparing it with cross-cultural ethnographic sociolinguistic research on language acquisition really highlights how some of the science that informs “good parenting” in the West is incapable of realising how much the material and cultural context of the West influences the results that are supposedly controlled.

Or, again, the idea that science can help us define clearly and once and for all where the line between shitty actions and abuse, or discipline and abuse, should be drawn, is to me one that cannot be dissociated from a belief that science can provide us with definite truths about our existence as social animals as if these sort of truths were not inherently positioned and negotiated. It is an uncomfortable idea, isn’t it, to realise that two people can be against abuse but at the same time not draw the line at the same place? How do we best grapple with the discovery that “abuse” is not an apriori category but rather one that is constructed according to varying forms of positioned and shifting knowledge and experience? I do not have an answer, but I certainly think that fandom arguments will probably not be the best place for that level of philosophical discussions.

To conclude, anon, I do want to acknowledge that your ask seems to come from a place of concern and perhaps even hurt. And that is perhaps why the posts from Chinese diasporic people in the fandom might appear to you as dismissive or flippant towards the interpretations of other fans of the novel. But perhaps without this prism of concern and/or hurt through which your perception of these analyses are filtered, you might have been able to notice a lot more nuance to their points than what your ask suggests. And that is not a criticism per se, but simply a reminder that, sometimes, some topics are difficult for us to approach clear-headed and to receive differing perspectives in good faith. In any case, I am certainly not the arbiter whose opinion on the topic will finally settle these debates, as such you might want in the future prefer to direct your questions (politely of course) to people who penned such analyses or who can speak from the relevant cultural perspective. If your aim in sending me this ask (because I reblogged a post you disagreed with) was to judge whether I passed your litmus test for being “morally just” to decide whether anything I have to say on any other topic is still worth paying attention to, well I suppose you now have your answer.

#anon ask #abuse cw #fandom discussions #yu-furen #long post

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impatient14 · 3 years

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Not to be “annoying on main” but like most things here in the year 2020, a lot of the nuance and reason surrounding the fandom’s fight over Dean’s queerness is lost to the wily temptress that is extremity, and I want to throw some stuff out there in case anyone is thinking the same things and just needs to hear that someone else is too.

To my followers and anyone who dares look through my blog (honestly don’t recommend it), it’s obvious I’m someone who enjoys the Dean/Cas pairing. And when I say enjoy, I mean I absolutely get feral about a wide range of topics that involve their relationship, depiction, and reception. I’ve always kept my opinions within the confines of my blog, though, and I’ve never--not once in the decade of my life on Tumblr--gone into inboxes to send hate or even indirect someone with hate or drama on my blog. That shit just ain’t kosher.

That being said, some of the anti-destiel arguments out there have merit.

Like, for example, Destiel shippers not liking the show. Personally, I did like Supernatural originally, but I also recently recommended new watchers who came for Destiel to just watch certain episodes. I’ve stopped watching Supernatural several times throughout my Supernatural journey (which started in real time with season one), because the writing can be down right awful. There were lots of great examples of writing too, but it wasn’t consistent enough for me to keep watching in real time. So I'd watch a season behind on Netflix. At some point, things got bad enough (the bro-dependence, recycled or unimaginative plotlines, the terrible treatment and fridging of female characters) that I did keep coming back for Dean and Cas only (and honestly, it was sometimes only Castiel).

Another worthy anti-destiel point for consideration is the fact that other than destiel shippers, a lot of people who watch Supernatural don’t care about Castiel. This seems to be correct. I’d wager to say that the vast majority of Supernatural watchers did not invest even a portion of time, energy, or emotions in Castiel that we did. That’s cool. I’ve been a casual viewer of a show and been blindsided by things that their fanon saw coming a mile away. Everyone has different perspectives, and the idea that Castiel isn’t integral to the plot when you remove the possibility of Destiel is absolutely correct.

However.

Why did they keep bringing him back? It’s true that he could easily be written out when his relationship with Dean is bro-ified, but his deaths never took until the end (and even then it didn’t). Sure, it could be “pandering,” but if only 1% of the Supernatural fandom ships destiel (as stated in one argument), it seems like a strange choice monetarily. Misha, as a series regular, wasn’t exactly giving out his services for free (eyyoo), so producers and the network wouldn’t give a second thought to the vitroil and threats creators and actors would get if Misha were written off. (Side note: I categorically *hate* the social media accessibility that lets people directly interact so negatively with creators to the point of dangerous conditions. It’s the most ugly and embarrassing side of fandom.)

It could be argued they kept bringing him back because they knew hellers and Cas lovers would continue to buy his Merch and what not, but I can’t imagine the small percentage of viewers who are invested enough in Castiel to buy his Merch would compensate for Misha’s annual salary. (But honestly, numbers aren’t my thing so *shrug*) But it could also be argued that the perceived destiel headache for creators, plus the retention of Misha’s salary, would be enough to get rid of him if not for a crucial role he plays in the show. Creators have repeatedly said that Cas’ whole character revolves around his relationship with Dean, so that means the writers felt that the Cas/Dean relationship was important to the fabric of the show--in whatever way you’d like to see it. Does that mean viewers have to see it that way? Definitely not. But that’s not the story the writers are telling you they’re writing--

Oh, that sounds familiar!

All the textual gay jokes, narrative devices, and creator interactions (not just Misha, but writers, producers, and other actors too) created the metaphorical pink elephant, not the shippers themselves. And to be told otherwise is some gaslighting bullshit. I agree some fans take it too far and freak out at the mere mention of a non-destiel reading, but the foundation for a destiel reading is based in text, not just in the shippers heads. The relationship between the Supernatural creators, actors, and fandom is undoubtedly toxic, which is why I think it makes it easier for them to deny various romantic interpretations of Dean and Castiel's relationship, but (and i hate to do it) in their defense, they definitely wrote enough into the text to justifiably claim Dean's a nohomodudebro. However, they've also written enough into the text to legitimately doubt (not definitively deny) his heterosexuality.

IMO (for the maybe two people wondering) Dean became bisexually coded in a very complicated conglomeration of a homophobic “its funny to be gay” kind of way, the chemistry between Jensen and Misha, countless production decisions, and Castiel’s growing and canonical love for Dean---which all makes the matter impossible to ignore. On more than one occasion the writers made choices that welcomed a destiel reading--not confirmed--but welcomed (which is, wait for it, queerbaiting!). I’d be shocked if no one read Dean as being queer coded and secretly in love with Castiel, who btw, is absolutely 100% romantically in love with Dean Winchester. The writers kept making decisions that fed hellers so well because Castiel is in love with Dean. It’s not just Misha who has confirmed it btw, but the writers themselves. You’re allowed to read it differently, just like destiel shippers read Dean differently than the writers have claimed, but you don’t get to tell other people they’re wrong--just like destiel shipping should never have gotten to the point were anyone who didn’t see destiel was reading the show wrong. However, the difference between saying Cas’ love is platonic and saying Dean’s love is queer is the difference between having zero textual evidence for a platonic reading of Cas’ love, and having lots of textual evidence for Dean’s heterosexuality. (Personally? My headcannon for Dean fluctuates between “so closeted he doesn’t even know he’s actually bisexual” and “very much aware he’s also into dudes but is pushing it down because : Winchester ™.” However, I’m more than happy to admit that my headcannon can’t be reasonably confirmed as fact. It can, however and like most headcannons within the destiel fandom, be comprehensively and intelligently argued to the point of exhaustion.)

The only reason to deny that 1.) it’s reasonable to read Dean as being queer-coded, not canonically bisexual, but queer-coded via textual and production decisions, and 2.) Castiel is romantically in love with Dean-- is if you’re someone who can’t give credit to the opposition just because they’re the opposition. Just because I hate Trump and think he’s the spawn of Putin’s asshole doesn’t mean I can’t admit he did *some* good work for criminal justice reform. The credibility of your argument goes to crap when you can’t admit when someone else has a good point- even if you don’t agree with their overarching theory or idea.

Obviously, the state of the Supernatural fandom is pretty much what it will be forever. Getting thousands of people to admit that its normal to find evidence to support an argument you don’t agree with (something philosophers do all the time because there is no such thing as truth and the world isn’t black and white and its shades of grey that make the rainbow bright and on and on and on), is definitely not in the cards for us. But, this is just me, throwing my altogether unnecessary opinion out there.

(If you’re one of those people that like to troll people just for having an opinion and expressing it respectfully, please consider not doing that. I am but a baby in a trench coat.)

#destiel #destiel meta #destiel fandom #deancas #dean winchester #castiel

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levyfiles · 4 years

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I want to start a shyan blog but I’m so scared because I don’t know how Shane and Ryan actually feel about it which makes me nervoussssssss help

Ohhh boy, brace yourself, nonnyhunny. I’ve got some word vomit for ya

To start off with, I just want anyone and everyone who is currently new to navigating this terrain we call the internet to know one thing and that is this one very important concept. Embrace your own insignificance! The internet is a big place. I once read a post on here that encouraged new users to think of Tumblr itself like you’re walking into a Walmart. You’re not here to make friends and you’re not here to shop for everyone else; you’re filling your own cart with the things you need and like and if someone comes along and takes a long good look at the things in your cart and says, “WOAH there, eating trans fats is unhealthy for you! I never eat trans fats because of a big list of reasons! Stop buying trans fats!!” you’re gonna be both puzzled and annoyed because it’s your cart, your Walmart experience; why the hell do they care what you’re gonna get?

However! I get it, the internet is now comprised of six different websites/apps and if you’re on there, there is no way to avoid or curate a completely ideal sense that you’ve made a space that’s all your own. There are going to be people who disagree with you, people who decide they don’t like what you do, but ultimately, in the midst of all that, you’re going to find people who feel the same in whatever regard you express yourself and that’s why it’s important to just express yourself because otherwise you’re going to develop a lot of disingenuous connections with people who would likely try to ruin your life if you disagree with them on some subject or other.

Now with that whole disclaimer in mind, I also understand where you’re coming from. Putting myself in the shoes of someone just trying to participate in a new fandom where there is a lot of contention among the masses about the rights and wrongs of RPF and whether the concept fits in with a philosophical debate about human nature and the way we interact with each other, witness each other’s journeys. That’s simply it, however; it’s an ongoing debate and where philosophy and debate are concerned, I always hold the belief that an individual’s right to ground themselves and say “These are the principles I wish to abide by” is sacred and ultimately, no amount of anonymous hatred or shrieking messages of outrage is gonna change that until you yourself decide that the principle isn’t working for you personally. My principle is that it’s fiction; an AU to explore as valid and sweet to me as demon!Shane headcanons are, but moreso because I identify with queer love stories and friendships forged by strangely deep similarities and complementing souls. I also love personalities like theirs, love the idea of said friendship and what it would bring to a story about two human beings who meet by happenstance and end up building something world-changing together. Still, because I am just a writer and a consumer of media, that’s the nicest thing I can give myself, a fictional account of these things while witnessing the real version happen in parallel. I get to celebrate in the overlap of similarities the real world and my fictional account take and watch it inspire my friends and mutuals to build their own universes and it’s beautiful.

With that point being made, I also understand the reason a lot of people are nervous about being open about shipping. The backlash from a bunch of strangers seems to take on a note that would make even the nicest person sound like a puritan about to hold some extravagant witch trials. Nothing more interesting than a person claiming to do good in the world using words like “exterminate” “cleanse” or my personal favourite “purge”. I’ve read rumours being spread about shippers that take on their own life especially because it’s human nature to let other people handle the research; it’s human nature to just take a believable narrative at face value. One rumour being that shippers of this fandom write stories where we kill off Shane and Ryan’s significant others. Myself and my friends who are avid readers of the ao3 tag know that that hasn’t been the case since 2016/17 and by all accounts, I have yet to find the fic where this happens (barring a tinsworth fic I’ve only heard about). Mind you, not many of us check out Wattpad but even there it’s more self-insert friendly with themes I can’t even stomach.

Which leads me to the last point and the main reason you sent this ask, I’m assuming. Ryan and Shane’s personal thoughts on the issue. Now, it behooves me to supply screenshots and proof when I make a claim but let’s consider if instead from the perspective of two adult men who have operated online far longer than a lot of their audience. Given that I am the same age as Shane, I know what the internet used to look like and how far it’s come and RPF is not a brand new thing neither did it pop up out of nowhere when One Direction debuted. And just like fanfiction in and of itself had its pushback from media because of its demographic and absolutely because of its queer-leanings, RPF appears to get a lot of that same energy, but it’s not an inherently toxic past time. Much like any fandom activity, it can get bad because fandom is not a monolith; it’s a bunch of individuals enjoying a medium in the ways they have learned to. You’re gonna get some individuals who “do it wrong” and some who do it differently, but ultimately, just like the forums and the reddit threads Shane and Ryan trawl in their past time, there are circles you learn not to veer into and terms you learn to blacklist/block/mute. With that being an indication of where they’re coming from as internet creators, I am confident when I say that, as long as it’s not being mailed to them, linked or quoted at them, they don’t care. They would know something that gets popular on the internet summons a brand of transformative art and fiction but much like they tend to ignore thirst tweets in their mentions or the repetitive requests for the same things over and over. They’d see it and gloss right over it. Shane is the type who writes long essays on reddit addressing the things that bother him, Ryan is weird and vocal and an oversharer sometimes when it comes to things Shaniacs say to him (i.e. that Voice he did for the occasional Shaniac who approaches him). It’s just one of the incarnations of fandom that they choose not to engage with, which, good? Because it’s a fan-specific activity. Once in a while you get a creator who wants to interact with fanfiction and it goes sideways because not all stories are written for them, much like not all fanart is made with the mindset to share with them.

It’s just a regular old fan interaction and community habit that builds bigger followings.

All in all, I’m not gonna tell you what to do. Unless you mean to be in their @’s all the time or link them on discord, or put any of your content in their hands, they are not going to see it. They don’t care. What they do care about is that you’re watching, that you support them and send them encouragement because they’re creating their own medium of content and a bigger following means more people get to see it and extract something positive from it.

#shyan #discourse #Anonybae

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scientificphilosopher · 4 years

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I’m still learning how to be an effective ally in the pursuit of social justice. Part of this, for me, comes through figuring out how to best support other allies, how to effectively engage with them, even when they’re not as well-versed in the issues as I’ve become through many years of education. I often ask myself this: How can I balance meeting people where they’re at while also holding people responsible for their ignorant and harmful actions and beliefs? Is there a place for compassion and patience toward well-meaning allies, even when they unintentionally harm others?

What I want to focus on for this blog post is the phenomenon of what I’m calling “anxious allyship” — what it is, how it manifests in certain spaces, and what I do to prevent myself from both being an anxious ally and driving others into anxious ally behaviors via things like gatekeeping.

Anxious allyship, in short, is the tendency for well-intentioned allies to shut down and fail to meaningfully engage with social justice work — be it online or in person — out of fear of saying something wrong or appearing ignorant or racist. Now, it’s important to keep in mind that there are MANY reasons why an ally might fail to show up. There are various elements at play that lead to white people’s fear of appearing ignorant or racist in the first place. For the sake of this blog, I want to focus on how this crops up in online spaces full of predominantly white, left-leaning allies and the tendency for these spaces to partake in gatekeeping (though much of what I’m talking about can extend beyond just conversations with allies — that is simply what I’m focusing on for now). By gatekeeping, I mean for members of these spaces to be overly hostile toward people who are presumably not as knowledgeable in the topic or who say problematic things. In some cases, this type of gatekeeping results in driving people out of the spaces or even harassing them. This type of gatekeeping can be seen as self-righteous bullying, both deliberate and unintentional. At its core, it’s shaming people for not knowing what you know and using that to drive people out of an online space. Again, this can be done with the best intentions. Sometimes gatekeeping occurs out of righteous indignation, to really show that problematic fool how wrong and ignorant their views truly are. More often than not, though, it’s done for the sake of showing off; it’s done to signal to others just how knowledgable and committed of an ally you truly are. To be clear, I am not speaking about justified criticism or the moderation of certain spaces in the service of keeping discussions civil. There are often good reasons to call people out; there are good reasons to react with anger or exasperation; there are good reasons to ban people from certain online forums or refuse to take the time and effort to have a fruitful discussion with them. Just because an ally has good intentions doesn’t mean they are immune to criticism. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, as William James said. No, what I’m talking about is white folks lording their knowledge over fledgling allies for reasons like sanctimony and virtue signaling.

Just to be clear as possible, I want to emphasize what I am not saying throughout this post. I am not saying that there is no room for anger (there is). I am not saying that I shouldn’t call people out — allies or otherwise — for their harmful ignorance (I should). I am not saying that patience and effectiveness should always be the primary focus when engaging with allies. I am not saying that there is a singular way of doing any of this. The last thing I am interested in is tone policing. I am, instead, advocating for a pluralistic approach, and that means leaving space for people to be angry, enraged, unresponsive, disengaged, or any other manner of reaction. It is not my place to say that one should not react in anger or ridicule to a well-intentioned but harmful comment simply because it might not be the most effective way to engage with that person, to get them to understand or change their mind. Express your anger if you're angry. Be angry. There is a whole helluva lot to be angry about.

Instead, I am arguing that overprivileged people such as myself should, perhaps, harbor some sense of responsibility in thinking about how to respond in ways that are more inviting to allies based on where they’re at in their educational journey, especially since it has increased potential for maximizing effectiveness and minimizing anxious ally behaviors. I am coming at these issues from a very different place than a lot of marginalized folks. It does not require as much emotional labor for me — an overprivileged white male — to discuss race with people as it might for many people of color. As Audre Lorde — a queer black woman — put it, “Frequently, when speaking with men and white women, I am reminded of how difficult and time-consuming it is to have to reinvent the pencil every time you want to send a message.” White men should, I think, be more willing to sometimes take on the time and effort to reinvent that pencil, especially since other white men are more willing to see us as “objective” and authoritative merely by merit of our maleness and whiteness. In a clear case of cosmic irony, white men will listen to other white men, even in regard to realities like racism, about which we tend to be utterly inexperienced and grievously ignorant. And to further the injustice of that irony, those very white men are the ones who are more likely to harbor power and social capital, thus the ones who can leverage our platforms in ways to most swiftly bring about systemic change. That is why I think those of us in privileged positions have a moral responsibility to learn to engage effectively on these issues.

Still, I’ve certainly found myself attacking people on social media, sometimes looking for that mic drop moment, and in hindsight, I realize I was doing it simply out of self-righteousness or to look smart to my virtual onlookers. If I had taken time to step back and evaluate what was motivating me to say what I was saying, I would’ve recognized that unproductive performative allyship showing its face. I don’t want to lend my energies to creating spaces that are needlessly hostile to people, including other allies. Spaces that are highly judgmental of their participants will engender performative behaviors precisely because people become anxious that they will mess up and get shamed for it. Not a feedback loop I want to amplify.

So, what can I do? Well, I don’t know, exactly. Probably a lot of things. One thing I try to do when interacting with other people who might be in the early stages of exploring their privilege or learning about race, gender, oppression, etc., is that I remind myself of my own journey. As an exercise in perspective and compassion, I reflect on the fact that education is largely a privilege. I have been absurdly lucky to learn the things I’ve learned, to have the resources and support in my life, the patient and empathic teachers. I remind myself of all these privileges, privileges that are not present for many people. Next, I meditate on the many ignorant, problematic beliefs and behaviors of my younger self. I was still me, just a version of me who was oblivious to the fact that a world existed outside the scope of my perspective. I harbored deeply racist, sexist, homophobic, and self-serving beliefs — because I was raised in a deeply racist, sexist, homophobic, self-serving culture. We all are. And I still grapple with these things today, and I imagine I always will. Of course, it is emblematic of privilege that some of us learn about oppression in more academic, impersonal ways, rather than having to confront its realities on a day to day basis. For overprivileged folks such as myself (and, really everyone to some extent), learning about the experiences of marginalized identities is an ongoing journey. None of us comes fully equipped. I remind myself of these things in order to temper my criticism with kindness and compassion. It is an exercise in humility and empathy.

I’ve also alluded to “effectiveness” throughout this post. How can I most effectively engage with other allies? Exercises in compassion and humility are good for me for a variety of reasons. They are humanizing. They are perspective-giving. They are, also, practical. I care deeply about social justice and I want to do what I can to keep privileged eyes and hearts on progressive change. One strategy that I find particularly effective is to meet people where they’re at, ask questions, and engage with them as if they were sitting in the room next to me. I try to remember that this computer screen acts as a veil of anonymity, which gives me a felt sense of licensing in treating people more coldly or harshly than I otherwise would.

So, in discussions with fellow allies, I try to exercise compassion and humility, while still keeping an eye on effectiveness. But this post isn’t solely about what I personally do to prevent others from becoming anxious allies. It’s also about how I try to recognize and combat the anxious ally in myself. Personally, I try to steel myself against some of these more toxic tendencies by practicing these things:

Being Okay With Mistakes. In fact, I have to work to get to a place where I embrace my mistakes. I have to be ok with being dumb and ignorant much of the time. I have to embrace the fact that I will mess up plenty. I have a wrinkly monkey brain and I know somewhere in the vicinity of none percent about the world. I am human, I am fallible, I am ignorant, and my understanding of reality is inherently limited by insulating and unequal social systems. One of the most insidious symptoms of privilege is how its benefits tend to be concealed from those who reap them. White people don’t need to think about racism; men don’t need to think about sexism; able-bodied people don’t need to think about accessibility, etc. This is all expected and understandable; it’s how we respond when our privilege is challenged that matters.

Staying Open and Receptive to Criticism. Ok, so making mistakes is inevitable. What do I do once I realize I’ve made one? How am I responding? An unfortunate reality for marginalized identities is that they too often have to undertake the emotional labor of teaching privileged identities all about these issues. This is not fair. It shouldn’t be this way. This makes it all the more meaningful when I get called out for saying something offensive, ignorant, racist, sexist, or bigoted. My initial response might be embarrassment or shame, and I might take refuge in my intentions: “That’s not how I meant it!” But this is defensiveness. This is symptomatic of what Robin DiAngelo calls “white fragility.” More to the point, it’s a bad interpersonal habit. As Cori Wong points out in her TEDtalk on feminist friendship, you would not react with hostility if a friend lets you know you had a big ol’ booger hanging out your nose in public. You might be embarrassed at first, but you’d ultimately thank your friend for speaking up so that you could take care of it (by wiping it inside your shirt like every warm-blooded American would). The same goes for people pointing out my mistakes in regards to social justice. My ultimate response, regardless of my intentions or initial emotional reactions, should be to listen and to give thanks. I have, after all, been presented with an opportunity to learn more.

Engaging With the Literature. Okay, so I’m willing to make mistakes and I’m willing to listen when people say I’ve messed up (at least some of the time). Is that enough? No. There’s still plenty left to do — and I cannot simply count on the emotional labor of oppressed peoples to figure out what to do next. Thankfully, I have incredible resources at my fingertips. I have YouTube channels, I have article after article after article, Instagram feeds, Facebook pages, books, books, books. There’s so much to learn and it can feel overwhelming to get started, but it’s never too late. There’s no better time than now. (I will also be making a blog post that provides a more extensive list of resources.)

What we have now, as mentioned by activist Maya Rupert, is a climate where the only people who are readily talking about race are those who know the least (vis-à-vis Dunning-Kruger effect) and those who engage with it regularly or professionally. The center has collapsed, with too many well-meaning white people sitting in anxious silence, thus reinforcing the very status quo they’re concerned with challenging. This is not an atmosphere conducive to collaboration, democratic and egalitarian participation, and effective mobilization. As an ally, I hope to do what little I can to correct this. I want to encourage other allies to take the leap of getting engaged. Advocating for spaces that are less hostile to newcomers is only a tiny piece of the puzzle, of course. But I think it’s a good step toward combating white fragility, white inaction, and anxious allyship — though white folks must recognize that it is our ultimate responsibility to undertake this.

In short, I want to be mindful of my impact, whether I’m criticizing people for virtue signaling and engaging in counterproductive ways, or I’m the person being accused of that very thing. I strive to foster allyship environments that are more welcoming and more willing to meet people where they’re at, while also fostering a willingness on my end to make mistakes while remaining open to feedback and staying committed to learning and changing. That’s just me though. In the end, a pluralistic approach to effective social engagement is likely what’s needed. It’s not realistic or productive to prescribe a one-size-fits-all approach to such dynamic and prismatic realities. On top of that, it’s clear that what I’ve talked about so far is just the beginning. A single angry Facebook post does not an activist make. Activism is more than simply learning about a topic; it’s getting involved in ways that lead to direct social and political shifts. It’s taking concrete steps. This requires more than reading a book or posting a hashtag (though these are not necessarily meaningless steps either). Remember: this is just the beginning.

Are you an ally of these movements? Are you nervous about engaging with folks, looking stupid or making mistakes? All understandable. The key? Make mistakes! Look stupid! Wade into the muck of it. Get messy. But just be sure to LISTEN and LEARN while doing so. Put down those defenses. Own your ignorance. Don’t center discussions on your own emotional well-being, but don’t render yourself paralyzed to the point of doing nothing either. Engage. Speak up, speak out. Explore ways to be an effective activist. Understand that social justice work is ongoing. You do not arrive into a state of enlightenment. You have to keep fucking up and keep learning. The reward? A better planet. Keep up the momentum, you messy, ignorant ally, you.

#long post #blog #the scientific philosopher #antiracism #anticapitalism #social justice #nich

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purgatoryandme · 3 years

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Hello! I've been going through your replies lately and have noticed that you have provided some life advice in your past replies. Wondering if you would be able to help me out on this one? You seem very level headed :) Me and my friend recently got into a argument about politics - he has been becoming very conservative lately and i am very liberal and queer. We got into a disagreement in Nov last year and haven't talked since. I miss him and am dying to talk to him again. Any Advice?

It’s easy to be level headed in text replies because I’m forced to read what I write as I’m writing it sksksk. I also get to be vague since I don’t ever really have details on people’s issues, which I think makes me sound wiser than I am. This situation is pretty relatable and tbh, I’m never really sure what’s a good answer for it having gone through it myself with family members and coworkers. There are times that politics are just politics (when they are just differences in perspectives towards life and governmental involvement in it that are mostly theoretical or philosophical or genuinely debatable topics like the benefits of one kind of spending over another). At times like these you can just...not talk about them if you’re non-confrontational by nature. Or agree that you are fundamentally different people who will never agree on this topic, which is my personal fave when people get really heated. Or you can argue, as long as arguing isn’t something that will totally fracture your friendship. People are different and I think there’s a growing movement in Western society that kindof...doesn’t accept that people have different experiences and no one has to necessarily be wrong in their views and that arguing can be a great way to learn and diversify. A lot of people take arguing as a simple “you think I’m wrong and evil” and...yeah. It doesn’t go so good. However, there are also times where someone’s politics become more than that - when they personally affect you or people around you in a tangible way that is rooted in ignorance (when something is demonstrably wrong) or hatred (something meant to hurt or eliminate a specific group for the benefit of another). In the scenario that this person’s politics are core values, things that they consider part of their identity, and they conflict with your own core values...I don’t think a close friendship will ever really work out. However, when you’re young you pick up lots of things and try them on. Sometimes those things are the political perspectives of your parents or peers. If this is just a phase for them, or if it’s been something you’ve been watching them slowly slide into through internet circles, there’s a chance for open and honest discussion about why their politics hurt you. There’s a chance that you can also be patient with this person and support their core values that align with your own as they figure this out for themselves. Since you still miss them, I’m assuming that this is less a core value conflict and more of a ‘they tried on hard conservatism and found it justified their biases or boosted their personal feelings of self worth, never considering how it paints people like you’, and so I’d suggest trying to contact them about how their politics made you feel in a way that avoids accusatory language (”When you say you think that people should be able to evoke their religious freedoms to deny people like me access to necessities, I feel as if you value a stranger’s hatred of me over my quality of life. It’s difficult for me to equate religious freedom with my right to exist - I feel as if you see my presence as a political statement to be argued for or against”). You’d be surprised at the impact conversations like that can have, especially when you’ve been sitting on them for months. It’s never too late! Regarding that above bit of advice - depending on who stopped talking to whom re: who was angriest at the end of that disagreement, it’s possible that they’ve been waiting all this time for the chance to open a dialogue and understand what they did wrong (if you were the angry one). If they walked away and felt that you thought they were a terrible person, though, it might be best to be extra gentle in approaching them again with the fact that you feel their politics are harmful but you don’t hate them personally. In the scenario that this person is now an activist for hate - ie for dialogues or actions that are actively harmful (”I’d support kicking all immigrants out of this country. They don’t need to be here. Refugees are murderers!”), I don’t feel like mercy is ever truly an option. A lot can be said for dealing with hate with patience and teaching, but I’m not about that on a personal level. If they were still actively in your life, I’d encourage you to fight them and show them that behaviour isn’t ok. Since they aren’t, though, I’d turn missing them into mourning who they used to be and accepting that, while they continue to spill vitriol, they aren’t my friend anymore and may never be again. I might also consider getting closure (for myself) by telling them that I miss them but don’t want them in my life when they preach something so terrible, though this is risky in that it gives them an opportunity to reply and hurt you again. TLDR: if you feel like the differences between you two are more opinion based or philosophical, maybe being at odds will be good for the both of you. If you feel like they’re more fundamental, try opening up about why their fundamentals conflict with yours in a way that is more personal than it is ethical. If they’re preaching straight up hate, mourn them and move on.

#reply

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