#im actually a little unstable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tottallytoby · 8 months

Text

really wished starlights hair (mane??) changed more when she was reformed so i tried to give her cult era something a lil different :)

#im love her #also im obsessed with cult starlight i genuinely wish we saw more of her being evil #like. she was insane and they couldve done so much with that #actually i have so many thoughts abt her #LOVE the idea that the village cult was a drastic mental breakdown mostly #also love the idea that her magic is slightly unstable and functions based on emotion #im sure theres reasons in the show i think that but i cant think of a single one lol #anyway #mlp #my little pony #mlp fim #my art #starlight glimmer

109 notes · View notes

deermook · 9 months

Text

House is bpd coded i will not be elaborating v

#i WILL be elaborating actually I like to lie #just like. the way that the second he senses abandonment its like a switch flips in him #like ok. cuddy is going to abandon me time to display genuinely concerning behavior #in an attempt to eother drive her away or gove her no choice but to stay out of worry for what he’ll do #unstable relationships marked by dependence and manipulation #relationships few and far between but very intense^#extreme defense mechanisms to stop from being hurt by extreme tides of feelings #(acting like an asshole and never letting anybody in ever at any time)#dangerous reckless or sexually promiscuous behavior #drug addiction is also common in ppl with bpd but i donnt know if that one actually counts coz u know. his leg #idk hes like. textbook to me maybe im reading too luch into it coz im bpd amd i love house #house can have a little autism/bpd combination as a treat #ugh it really is hatecrimes MD 💔 god hates him #greg house #house md

30 notes · View notes

braindamaged007 · 1 year

Text

Time is such a weird concept for me, it's surreal to suddenly realize that days have passed, not hours.

72 notes · View notes

medicasino · 6 months

Text

i'm seriously tired of this like,,, constant feeling of never really feeling important to anyone. and it's like, it's 100% on me, it is 100% my fault i feel this way but,,, eugh

#affie txt #it isnt anyone's fault at all im just like super unwell LOL #its like. i mourn the friendships where i genuinely felt wanted. because it was ME who fucked them up and now i just feel legitimately like #no matter how many people i befriend and burn through it's like i can never ever feel truly wanted or like im at all important to them #and when i DO #when i do feel wanted and important its always so short-lived and they move on to someone else #and im just like really tired of wanting to be loved and never actually feeling loved #every friendship i was a part of where i felt like i was genuinely important or wanted has completely eroded and its like. all my fault and #im just. really fucking tired of never feeling loved like ever #and its not anyones fault its not like people are mistreating me #I AM THE PROBLEM. I am the reason i feel unloved #because theres something wrong with me and i can never ever feel like im loved even if people say they love me!!! it always feels so hollow #and every time i see my friends get along better with other people i always feel so fucking jealous and its like its such a me problem #but its so hard to get out of this mindset because its one i've been trapped in for YEARS #i've dug this hole and now i lay in it because there is no way out and im so. tired. i just want to be loved #i want to be important to someone i want to be someone's special person their number one and its like #that'll never happen to me!!!! because I AM THE REASON no one views me that way!!!! Im unstable messy reactionary lazy and mean #and so fucking anxious about every little thing that like of FUCKING course no one would love me!!!! loving me is HARD because #i am not MEANT to be loved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am meant to be hated or seen as disposable!!!!#ugh im just so fucking sick of feeling disposable.#vent #ask to tag

3 notes · View notes

bucky-barnes-lover · 7 months

Text

When people ask to see my phone, this is why I don't let them see my camera roll:

This is concerning

#help me #actually mentally ill #mentally fucked #mentally unstable #im a little fucked in the head #taylor swift #luke hemmings 5sos #lana del rey #sebastian stan #bucky barnes #niall horan #harry styles #harry styles love on tour #mentally ill #mentally insane

3 notes · View notes

orcelito · 10 months

Text

If anyone asks what my current mental state is like, I'll just point them at this album

I have been listening to Nothing But this album all week

#speculation nation #music #i am just. hm.#i mean ive been listening to iamx on repeat for about 3 months now. but theres smth about this album that just feels More #some of their other music can be quite peaceful actually #but this one is just. a cry for help lol. and it's resonating.#laughing I'm fine I'm fine I'm Totally fine. just dont look at my many mentally unstable posts as of late and you'll see i am Totally fine #regardless. i am Really enjoying this album. putting it on for any little thing i do #im about to make some grilled cheeses for breakfast. and what better soundtrack for grilling a cheese than this?

3 notes · View notes

bluebayard · 1 year

Text

my ex best friend really made sure they destroyed my self worth and confidence on the way out. they made sure i knew they thought i was annoying, overbearing, overly emotional and unstable and that that made it almost impossible to love or be around me.

#why? why did i deserve that? they started gaslighting me towards the end and told me I deserved how i was treated #because they werent ACTUALLY mistreating me.#thats just what i THOUGHT and it was wrong because im unstable and overemotional.#its that bpd lance you know your emotions cant be trusted.#thanks. drill it a little more into my head that my mental illness from my childhood trauma makes me fundamentally unloveable #purrsonal

4 notes · View notes

picavecalyx · 1 year

Text

.

#ooc ;; pterodolphin has no devil fruit #one more thought before i pass the fuck out because this shit lives rent free in my brain #sits here and thinks about how.#the experiments--if they were only to grow a connection with yveltal--could have ended. very. VERY early.#much earlier than how far they went.#there was obviously a shift at some point. from just creating that bond. to almost. duplicating and 'improving' the initial design.#ive mentioned before but silva holds a lot of untapped and unstable potential. that goes beyond the original yveltal.#not only that but since shes started to take life with everytime she sets off--shes collected...a LOT MORE...that what is currently #within the sleeping yveltal.#its just interesting.#maybe one day ill write a post of how the experiments actually worked but to summarize as simply as possible.#also because im still sorta. dojng research on it.#it was a mix of DNA splicing with the slumbering yveltal/yveltal dna.#and also literal connecting of brain waves between the two.#the DNA splicing was initially the *secondary* of the experiments. with the bond being the primary.#which is why silva developed the nightmares/night terrors SO quickly--about half a year into the actual experiments.#the DNA splicing was meant to reinforce and assure there wouldnt be a rejection. it was almost an 'extension' of the mind.#in i BELIEVE either viruses or bacteria; the little endings will resemble/duplicate the body's endings so that it isnt seen as foreign #and thus isnt attacked.#thats basically what the splicing was to do.#it was creating an artificial link with the added reinforcement of at first JUST making...a slightly closer bond via sort of 'becoming' it.#this. this moved pretty quickly into a shift of the bond being secondary because it was discogered pretty fast that. hey!!#the connection was easily made. how to make it stronger?#well theres only one yveltal. making another is like making an 'extension' of the first.#silva is essentially...a very convoluted clone. in a way.#she is turning into a cloned and enhanced yveltal thanks to the dna splicing becoming the FOCUS.#and given how early that was started; it made her body very. very. moldable #it still is extremely moldable.#ANYWAY IM RAMBLING ITS 3 AM #i sleep <3 maybe ill make this stuff into an actual post LMAO i love exploring this shit its fun as fuck

2 notes · View notes

fabioquartararhoe · 2 years

Text

.

#maybe im a little bit idk how you say that fck g #thing in english but we in romania say plecată de acasă lol #but however put reid in jail deserves 5 bucks 🤣#he is so hot #idk why #maybe bcs he looks like an unstable bitch and i love unstable bitches #okay bye #actually #y’all should watch criminal minds 🤷🏼‍♀️#now bye #meli talks shit

2 notes · View notes

arthur-r · 2 years

Text

everyone come listen to the emo (revival) version of if it makes you happy

#you just have to hear it….#i really like this song. my mom used to listen to sheryl crow when i was real little #but it took me embarrassingly long to figure out that this song was a cover of her song #i just thought it was a real cool emo song by michael cera palin #anyway nobody actually has to listen to this it’s just. i was just now. and it’s still great #don’t ask me why but for some reason my go-to when im unstable and/or on my period is to fill my blog with spotify links for no good reason #i delete the ones from yesterday though so treat this as if it’s the only song i’ve mentioned in weeks shdhdf #me. my post. mine.#delete later

2 notes · View notes

marsuni · 3 months

Text

the best thing about kids is how curious they are about my face piercings (literally just a tongue stud and a nose ring, plus a few tattoos on my arms) and how many questions they ask that I just love answering for them

"what's in your mouth?" my tongue stud

"what about your nose?" my nose ring

"does they come out?" if i want them to, but usually i keep them in 24/7

"did they hurt?" yes, but about the same as getting my ears pierced, my tongue hurt a little more after because I kept biting it on accident! (for some reason this question never comes first. I always think it will but never does)

One kid told me very proudly they knew where tattoos came from when I showed them the ones on my arms and they explained it to the other three who looked awe struck and it was so fun. one of their moms actually thanked me for entertaining the group of them for a while and asked if i was a teacher and it genuinely made my day so much better, like that 20 minute interaction between me, a few 4-8 y/os, and one of their moms made a really shitty day much better

#i called it earlier that this day had bad vibes but i was wrong about why thatd be #if i had actually brought my ear buds with me i would have bailed and straight up taken the hour or so walk home #but as the fates would have it one of my cousins friends kids would ask me about wtf is the shining thing in my mouth #and id distract a group a children for so long that one of their mothers thought i was trained to do it #:')#i mean i threw up everthing i ate and i think everyone in my house is prepared to kill each other for some reason or another #except me and my brother who currently have no quarrels i can think of #i think my mom and i are okay but shes.... a little unstable..... and very sensitive rn bc shes fighting with my brother #so that could change quickly #im gonna shut up now before i ruin my own good post

0 notes

braindamaged007 · 1 year

Text

Good morning, Tumblr. ヾ(＾-＾)ノ

Make today awesome and fun ✌🥰

56 notes · View notes

farlooms · 11 months

Text

i dont wanna do this therapy hw man this shit is so stupid

#kage rattles #it would be different if any of it actually HELPED but it DOESNT #i dont fucking like cbt its stupid and it doesnt WORK #and i get that we cant work on everything while im still in an unstable environment #but shit that happened when i was younger that has nothing to do w this shit?? the times i was almost straight up murdered or almost died #in other ways???#the times ive been attacked or the abusers who ARENT in my life anymore???#my communication issues???#my fucking laundry list of physical and mental health issues??? what abt those???#we're just gonna Not because im in an unstable environment??? even though it would make me feel a bit better and maybe actually help me #sleep a little at night???#nah nope we cant deal with that #motherfucker WHY THE FUCK NOT #im TELLING you i want to work on it and i want it to HELP #she literally KNOWS about what happened to my brother and how it affects me #it was literally the most traumatic day of my LIFE #but no we cant start unpacking all the issues it left me with .#she seemed to really understand the first time i really thought we might HAVE something #but nah. i would literally rather not be in therapy at all then have this stupid obtuse shit that isnt helpful #and i dont WANT to be difficult #but its been a LIFETIME of being in and out of mental health treatment and none of it works and no one thinks ''maybe we should try #DIFFERENT shit because this CLEARLY isnt working. we can see in his files it isnt working and he said directly that it didnt work''#but no i just gotta keep ~~deep breathing~~ or whatever i guess #guess it doesnt matter that i actually want to give dbt a try and that theres a group that actually Does it. because....reasons...i guess..

1 note · View note

devotedlystrangewizard · 1 year

Text

zuko is such a silly little guy. son-shaped

#im rewatching atla #im rewatching a lot im emotionally unstable #but also. being 18. gives me a completely different view.#back when i was 12 i was obsessed with him thought he was the peak of characters ever #which was just. honestly. character hyperfixation before i knew what hyperfixations were #even now tho the character writing is so good #i love these silly little kids man #redemption arc does hit a little less hard from the perspective of someone who doesnt consider 16 year olds adults ;-;#is it a redemption arc or was he just 16 🤨#(joking)(a little)(have you ever met a 16 year old)#its a good arc but it feels more like. normal child growing out of parental teachings (taken to the extreme) than like an actual redemption #idk #cant quite put it into words #i do still love him very much

0 notes

vinilsoup · 1 year

Text

Having bpd sucks i hate having mood swings 😭

#my ex is not talking to me and he is dating other people already but i am not over him #this whole situation is very triggering i have been so unstable since we broke up #yeah i know i sound a little toxic but believe me he is too 💜#we were like toxicxtoxic couple #we both are trying to be better #idk about him but im actually getting worse hdfjkdfls

0 notes

evie-sturns · 3 months

Text

𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐱 - 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

summary: it's your special day, your 20th birthday! chris hasn't given you a present all day, and nothing seems to be going to plan, but he makes up for it later.

contains: public sex, smut, fluff, soft dom!chris, swearing, crying.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

8:54am

i wake up to chris planting kisses all over my face, a stupid grin painted across his face.

"chriss.." i groan, rubbing my eyes as i sit up in our double bed.

"happy birthday!!" he says, pulling me by my arms up onto the floor, im so unstable i stumble over.

my birthday has always been my favorite day of the year, everyones attention were on me, it was just going to be a stress-free day with my friends, my boyfriend and his brothers.

"shit." chris says, picking me back up, holding me in a bridal position. "you excited!!" he says, placing me back down on my feet

"love you chris." i smile, walking over to the wardrobe and pulling out the outfit ive had planned for days.

ive known chris for 11 years, he was my bestfriend until 1 year ago, when he became my boyfriend.

i strip off my pyjamas, leaving me revealed as i scramble through the shelves to find underwear.

i feel chris's eyes laying on me, "you feel elderly yet?" he says, breaking the comfortable silence.

i scoff "very."

"you look good for how old you are" chris jokes, walking over to my side.

i see his hand reach out, but he pauses instantly when the door rattles. "y/n!" i hear nick call out, i can hear the smile on his face.

"im butt naked right now nick, ill be out in a few!" i call out, chris shakes his head with a grin painted across his face.

"gross." i hear nick say back, slightly quieter this time.

"nick its 9 in the morning what do you take me for!" i say, pulling up my skirt, and readjusting my tanktop. i get on my toes, planting a kiss on chris's nose before unlocking the door.

im met with nick, a bunch of balloons in hand with matt standing next to him. their face light up as they see me.

"you're looking kinda wrinkly.." matt says, pulling me into a hug.

"do i actually look old cause you're the second person to point out my 'aging'" i ask, nick handing me the balloons

-

12:06pm

nick, matt, chris, madi, nate and i have been hanging around the sturniolos house for the day, i've spent the majority of the morning laughing, until a pile of wrapped presents from my friends appears in front of me.

i open them all, thanking whoever gifted it to me with a hug.

chris doesn't give me one though?

i brush it off, maybe he just forgot.

to make things worse, ive just been told madi and nate were both scheduled to leave at 1, both needing to go to nates final ice hockey game, which the sturniolos and i were going to skip.

"oh fuck, we better go madi." nate says, jumping up off the couch and grabbing his keys. madi's sighs before leaning down, squeezing me in a hug. my heart sinks a little, today was meant to be a day with my friends.

"love you y/n, we'll update you about what happens later!" they call out before the door swings shut.

-

ive been sitting on my bed for 2 hours, scrolling aimlessly on my phone as chris sits on the other side of the room at his desk in silence, the faint clicking noise from his keyboard filling the room.

today was meant to be perfect.

i feel my throat dry up as i let out a shaky breath.

ive never cried on my birthday, i've always been too distracted to even think about getting upset, but now, when today has just felt normal, the tears are building up.

i mean, it hasnt been a bad day. its just been too regular.

i feel a few tears fall down my cheeks as i stare at chris's back.

i try my best to stay silent, but a broken sob exits my mouth, i slam a hand over my lips. chris's head snaps back to look at me, his face drops. "oh shit.." chris mumbles before speed-walking over to me, throwing himself down onto the bed to face me.

the tears won't stop now, even with my failed attempts to make excuses up to chris.

"sweetheart please don't cry." chris says softly, holding me in a tight hug as my eyes dampen his shoulder. "talk to me gorgeous, i know you love your birthday you shouldn't be crying yeah?"

"i dont know.." i say in between sobs, chris stays silent, he knows im lying.

"i just wanted it to be perfect.." i sniff, chris rubs my back.

"can i show you something..?" chris says awkwardly, pulling away from the hug. my eyebrows furrow, "okay..?" i say. chris grabs my hands, pulling me up out of bed. he leans down and grabs a sweater from the floor, putting it on my body before taking my hand again.

he walks us downstairs in silence, he seems nervous. chris opens the front door, we walk towards his car and he opens the door to let me in. "ladys first.." he says, trying to lighten the mood.

-

we've been driving for about 3 minutes before chris breaks the silence, "i was meant to take you here later but.. you know." he says, tapping his fingers lightly on the steering wheel.

i nod, chris accelerates slightly as we drive up a hill, we suddenly come to a halt. chris clears his throat, as he turns off the car.

we're parked in a small parking lot on top of a hill, theres trees directly infront of us, the sunset just peeking through the leaves. chris grabs my hand gently, "uh chris?" i ask, he just kisses my lips "shh."

we go through the trees until we they stop, my jaw drops, theres a small picnic blanket, some flowers layed on it along with a note.

its the same spot where me and chris kissed eachother for the first time, 4 years ago.

chris has never been the romantic type, he finds it 'yuck' apparently.

"chris oh my god.." i say, chris is fidgeting with the ties of his sweatpants. i sit down on the picnic blanket, with a groan chris sits down next to me.

"i think this is the sweetest thing anyones done for me.." i say, wrapping my arms around him.

chris shakes his head "shut upp..." he smiles.

"no seriously, i might cry again right now."

"don't you dare." chris says with a small laugh.

a comfortable silence grows between us as the sunsets, i break it after a few minutes.

"we should fuck."

"what?" chris says, his head snapping round to look at me.

"no just think about it, 4 years ago we had our first kiss here, so we should hook up here!" i say, concealing my laugh.

"i meannn whatever you want" chris says, trying not to seem as eager as he actually is.

i pull off my shirt, discarding it on the picnic blanket. theres trees behind us, and a cliff infront of us, its pretty private.

chris helps my shorts off, before laying me down softly on my back, he places his hoodie down under my head as a pillow. "you comfy?" he asks, spreading my legs open wider. i nod, chris pulls down his sweatpants and boxers in one motion, his erection springing out.

he smiles, holding my waist with two hands and lining himself up with me, "ready?" he asks, maintaining eye contact. "very." i smile back.

chris presses his tip inside of me, i stretch around his size, reaching out a hand, chris grabs my it.

he finally pushes the whole way into me, a desperate moan escapes my mouth. "such a pretty noise yeah?" chris says, his voice hoarse as he starts to thrust into me, his tip brushing my cervix each time.

strings of moans and whimpers exit my mouth as i squeeze his hand tighter, chris keeps a firm grip on my waist. "so so good for me, squeezing my dick so well." chris groans.

with each thrust, the knot in my stomach becomes tighter, i arch my back off the picnic blanket, "fuck chris oh my god." i yell, "cum for me gorgeous, can feel you clenching..." he says, stumbling over his words.

with a scream of his name the knot in my stomach snaps, chris pulls out, painting my stomach with white streaks. "g-..good girl." chris says, flopping down next to me on the blanket.

-

we've been laying here for the past hour, laughing, talking and watching the moon. the summer air is warm on my bare body, we both couldnt be bothered to get changed just yet.

"you know.." chris says, running a hand through his hair.

"hm?" i ask, looking over to see his face, which is barely illuminated.

"we should make this a traditon, ya know? birthday sex."

---------------------------------———————————-

i really liked writing this, thank you for the request babe

#sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo x reader

952 notes · View notes