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comfortless · 4 months

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syl. *grabs you and shakes you* syl. i woke up in a cold sweat thinking of like… könig. already off to a great start ik. but space opera könig. (not like star wars or anything) but think like 70s aesthetics all bright and colorful. he’s a bandit in a stolen ship, formerly part of a military group making peace with other planets but something went awry and he’s just having fun now!

reader is part of a small research group that has landed on a planet he’s camped out on and he’s just like “ok” followed by “i want that”. steals all of her supplies and then her. doesn’t care how much she protests when he just hauls her over his shoulder, pats her butt bc he thinks THATS going to calm her down and throws her into his ship.

she’s happy he’s not some creepy alien but at the same time who really knows what’s under that hood anyway hmmmm and she wants to hate him but also all that’s playing in her head is that one rah band song. messages from the stars lmao please. there is something in the way you write that is so special to me and if you were to come up with a full blown story for my dumb idea i think i would scream for 20 hours straight.

lil wisp….. you have no idea what this has done to me. i am going to be thinking about this for an eternity. let’s cook.. i see your vision and i would love nothing more than this too!!

content/warnings: implied violence, abduction, dubcon groping?

König’s been on his own, drifting through the stars for so long. Only raiding the ships he comes across for food, supplies, and when he stumbles across a mechanic he puts them to work with a silly laser rifle pointed right at their head (because let’s face it— when you’re a wanted space pirate who in the universe is going to fix your ship for you??). He’s put all of human etiquette far behind him, and now his life is quite literally just one relentless adventure. He wouldn’t have it any other way!

That is, until his ship is fucked up again, displaying about thirty bright red warnings on its silly hologram screens that he just can not make sense of. The thing is old, has been shot at more times than even he can count, and it’s finally failing him if the loud sputtering and incessant orbital beeps are anything to go by. He considers his luck has run out when he lands the damned thing on some hunk of rock out on the outskirts of a galaxy most don’t even bother with, because there’s nothing out here.

Thankfully, his frustration is short-lived because a smaller ship lands only a few days later; painted in the bright, pearlescent blues and pinks of your standard peace-keeping, research vessel. It’s the perfect craft to steal and it wouldn’t even be difficult… the three humans that exit are so much smaller than him and entirely unguarded. They’re just here to study a few minerals, maybe haul some back to their little camp a few worlds over for fuel and research. He won’t even get into too much trouble for it, he thinks, because even his trashed ship could take them back home. See!! He isn’t all that bad…

At least, until he notices her, bent over admiring some silly, little cluster of crystals in her skin-tight jumpsuit that makes him see stars. The heavy boots that rise up to her knees making her look like little more than a fauness, and she’s so pretty he just can’t help but get a closer look while her teammates are off chittering away and exploring the nothing planet.

She isn’t even afraid of him when he approaches. Just straightens up with her hands clasped in front of her and a smile on her face. She hasn’t seen the holograms of him, displaying a sizable bounty for his veiled head, doesn’t take a wary note of the massive rifle he has slung over his shoulder; she just sees another person. He hasn’t been looked at like that since long before he left home!!

This sweet woman has no sense of self-preservation either, because she immediately asks him if he needs food or water; gestures over to her brightly colored ship with that pretty smile ever-present on her face, and that’s all it takes for him to decide that not only is he taking the craft, he’s taking her too.

He doesn’t say a word when he lifts her up over his shoulder, and the poor thing must be shocked because it takes her a moment before she starts squirming in his grip. König does well to remove the little radio strapped to her hip, giving her ass a firm squeeze in the process before tossing it in the dust behind him. That’s all it takes to shut his little prinzessin up before he hauls her back into her ship and demands she turn off any tracking systems. Her knees are a bit weak when she fumbles with the control panels, and he’s unashamed of his own erection when he slides in behind her to lean over the console as the ship starts up.

She whines about leaving her friends stranded, of course, but he’s in a world of his own when he grabs her by the hips and seats her in his lap while she pilots. Never mind the others, he’ll take good care of her, honest!!

#könig x you #könig x reader #konig #könig #messages from the stars… LOL… anon if i had the time to write a full blown fic of this rn i would but my god #i need to propose actually this is such a good concept…

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mnemosyne-nyx · 11 months

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✨ Bruce Wayne Headcanons that haunt me but I refuse to elaborate on even if they're utterly wrong ✨

1. Bruce can cook, but only when he's 100% focused. If there is anything going on around him like a feral child or he's going over some case in his head then something's catching fire.

2. He definitely was a theatre kid for the shortest span when a teenager. Have you met this man? Are you telling me he's never engaged in a single drama piece in his life? He was raised by literal-Shakespeare-actor Alfred pennyworth? My man Bruce can ACT. All his personas rely on it. So does his undercover work. I like to think he was in a amateur Shakespeare production one time just to surprise and make Alfred happy.

3. Tying in with the acting - Bruce is a master of disguise. With all the languages he speaks, identity shenanigans, cases that need inside info. Bruce can just morph into another person. But his abilities in disguise also means he can mimic people's mannerisms and accents easily. The idea of Bruce confusing the shit out of Clark by just perfectly emulating his country accent and then pretending nothing happened tickles me very much.

4. This idiot tilts his head ever so slightly like a confused dog when being bamboozled. Only People who know him closely recognise this but it's such a minute movement it's easy to miss. Any confusing story, perplexing stupidity or a little sprinkle of disbelief - boom head tilt. God help you if you get the head tilt and batglare combined. You've said the most ungodly, sinful, idiotic, offensive, seizure-inducing idea known to man.

5. He and Diana 100% gossip in other languages when on the watchtower . Both are polylinguals. It's also a learning space. Diana 100% teaches him Ancient Greek, Latin and forgotten languages while Bruce 100% teaches her alien dialects he's mastered.

6. My guy can sing. Ever since that silly lil' justice league episode I can't get this silly lil' headcanon out my head and it makes my lil' toesies curl. Gotham, though a hell scape, is a melting pot of culture and music. Opera, jazz, blues but also a strong underground Punk and techno scene. You'd be hard pressed to avoid music in Gotham. My guy just learned to sing through osmosis. Only a small handful of people know he can sing, though none have admitted that to Bruce.

7. Since this man is a sponge of knowledge, he just drops some of the most jaw-dropping, disturbing and unprompted facts then refuses to elaborate. Oliver Queen is just enjoying his ham sandwich only for "You know studies about cannibals say that human meat tastes very similar to pork." and Oliver is just !?!?!?!!?. The batfam are watching The Matrix and Bruce suddenly "The codes in this film are actually just Sushi recipes." and everyone does a perfect slow swivel to face this engima of a man.

Thank you for attending my tedtalk :)

#batfam #bruce wayne #batman #jla #justice league #dc trinity #worlds finest #brucie wayne #headcanon #dc comics #dc headcanon #I AM GOING MAD WITH POWER #Pov: I'm force feeding you factually wrong dc content and maniacally laughing in the face of God

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thehumantrampoline · 5 months

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God I love Jupiter Ascending so fucking unironically!!!! It's literally no sillier than Star Wars has ever been, it's WONDERFULLY, GORGEOUSLY silly, every outlandish piece of worldbuilding they throw around willy nilly makes me clap my little hands in delight, it's lavish and unselfconscious and there's a hundred miles of universe extrapolation you can do under every step they take, I love the three part fairy story structure of royalty and deals and trickery, I love how every character is introduced and treated like a beloved character we've all met before, I love the costumes and the soundtrack, I love Eddie Redmayne getting to be larger than life unhinged space opera villainous, I love Caine Wise the half albino angel werewolf, I love his chemistry with fake cynical hardass Jupiter Jones and her big romantic bleeding heart, I love this fuckin!! movie!!!!

#Jupiter Ascending #original posts

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phlurrii · 5 months

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Out of curiosity, what does the psychic cat fam exactly do out there? (This doesn’t have to be exclusive to just now, also could have been just Meau, Noe, and Mew) Aside from vibing. They live in a paradise where food isn’t a concern and nothing with a brain would try to hurt them. Do they play fight? Teach the youngin’s their future jobs? Have games? Maybe some swipped books to read? Explore the world outside of their tree for funsies? See who can steal as many goodies from human society without getting caught?

I know it’s silly but I like the “filler” of things. To think about what characters are doing when the “plot” isn’t being progressed. It’s part of why I like the slice-of-life genre from time to time. Life isn’t always an adventure or fight against some opposing force, but it can still be fun!

I agree, I’m honestly a bit upset with myself, given how long each update takes I never noticed I wasn’t adding in enough filler. Something I plan to fix once we’re in Noe’s arc, as we are sadly, or luckily? Way too close to beginning it to shove any sudden filler in. For now I’m blaming it on first time story telling and having to do art school on the side X3

As for the gang, Meau did fly a little bit off the handle due to not having a lot of stimulation when she was younger before Noe showed up. As for what they did/do, for reasons that’ll become clear later; they mostly talked in the early days!

She would show off her creations, abilities, transformations, and forming ecosystems to him. He would ask about as many questions as one would with a new world and she thrived off it. They would watch other Pokémon’s life in secret like it was a soap opera, sometimes intervening to make it more interesting or admittedly have it lean towards the ending they wanted. Usually betting and taking opposing sides as to what would happen.

Battling is a particular big one for Meau, she loves to get down and dirty with other legendaries and mythicals even if she has the power advantage. Most often fighting with her brothers, she wouldn’t be above transforming into the Pokémon she was fighting to even out the playing field, or even change her type so she was inherently weaker to it. It’s why she’s never been against human with their Pokémon battles, battling is an innate part of her creations and herself.

Missingno. on the other hand loves to explore, even with his age, he knows the world is in a constant state or change and ventures off on his own to explore it. He’s not nearly as against humans as Meau and has explored their cities and settlements. Most intrigue by their computers/technology nowadays and how he’s able to to interact with them. Meau has explored with him on occasion, but prefers to stay away.

I’d also imagine they like to race in very difficult conditions. High up in the atmosphere or just outside in the actual vacuum of space. Deep in the ocean, forcing them to make their own path through rock and stone. Which probably pisses off the weather trio invading all 3 of their areas, but that leads perfectly into the next one.

They love to piss off the other legendaries, because… well, what can they do?

There has been more then on tropical storm, tsunami, volcanic eruption, and general disaster caused by the Ancients pestering another powerful legend. Lastly, they sleep, if the current time is too boring, peaceful, or simply there is nothing to do that interests them… they’ll sleep for a couple thousand years.

As for more current day stuff, it’s much tamer since Bucket was taken, Meau woke up from a much needed thousands years nap to a very different world. Humans had well established themselves even further, technology exists, and they can clone/create pokemon. So she is staying in the tree with her suddenly growing family, just to watch. She wants to know what everything’s up too from a distance given they’ve somehow managed to trap and almost kill another mew, make a Mewtwo, and possibly a second one.

So she’s just always watching human society from the tree, whilst also teaching and nurturing Odysseus. He spends more of his time exploring the tree and occasional testing out powers. With Meau’s assistance. The trees massive and filled with Pokémon, so he’s got quite the endless bit of entertainment. Decamark is the newest edition and thus follows a lot of what Ody does! Though Noe has been poking them, figuratively, with a stick to figure out what he’s capable of.

#ask #mew #ancient mew #pokemon #mew pokemon #the ancient mew #pokémon mew #mewtwo #pokemon mewtwo #puzzled zebra

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headcanons-n-shit · 11 months

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since there was already a prompt abt pining can i ask for hcs on how the ffxiv boys (+leofard?) would go about expressing their interest in a particularly dense wol? 😊

We do love a dense motherfuker

Thancred is fucjing suffering over here. He cannot possibly make his intentions any more obvious. The problem is that hes accidentally played himself-- hes spent so long disguising his feelings as jokes, or as ploys on missions, and now you just assume that his flirting and holding your hand and wanting to be in your space all the time is just what the two of you do. He ends up having to go all rose petals and sappy love confession under the moonlight like some kind of storybook love interest. Its so sappy, embarrassing, but its also so, so sweet.

Urianger is, unfortunately, painfully Sharlyan about the whole thing. He gives you nice paper, expensive ink, masterwork tools, intricate glasswear for your alchemy lab. Practical, highquality armor. A delicately embroidered handkerchief. He thinks hes being overly forward with his affections, you think hes just being a really good friend, yshtola would rather drown herself than watch the rest of this soap opera play out.

Literally what else does G'raha need to do to prove his devotion to you??? The man unwound time and unraveled space just to be by your side. He was practically your sugardaddy your entire time on the First. He almost, almost thought you were flirting back with him when you brought him food from the Last Stand, and then Alphinaud and alisae and krile trotted in behind you and it took every ounce of his Exarch discipline not to retreat with his tail between his legs. Pls this man is suffering.

Estinien literally can not. Look me in the eyes. This stinky dragoon has spent a good half his life behind an armet. He is a horrible mix of country bumpkin, career soldier, aymeric's half-assed attempts to pound courtly decorum into estiniens dumb empty head, and Nidhoggs instincts. He wants to cook you food, drag you into a corner and kiss you silly, send you flowers, and bring you something he killed with his bare hands. He ends up doing all four. Not necessarily in that order.

Aymeric is dying. You are going to be the death of him. He has gone through great pains to discover your favorite flower and have them always displayed in your room. He has written you letters full of poetry. He has showered you with gifts. He has invited you to dine with him. At this point the other nobles are asking whether its going to be a spring or summer wedding, and he doesnt know how to explain how you are still woefully oblivious bc he cant explain it himself.

Haurchefant gave you a LITERAL DOWRY. He handed you the reins to an extremely expensive war-trained black de chocobo in front of everyone whos ever mattered to him and also half of ishgard, and then he had to stand there dying internally while you praised him for being a "good friend". There are bets not on whether hes going to throw you over his shoulder and carry you to his room to. Ahem. Prove his devotions. But rather on how long it will take him to break.

Sidurgu. Barely has memories of the Orl traditions around courtship. His mother had often regaled him with stories of how she had courted his father. Food, presense and friendship, proofs of skill. And yes, it frustrates him that you seem to brush off his attempts, but. Well. It took almost five years for his mother and father to get together, from the way they told it. Hes learned a lot for your sake, and for rielles. He can learn patience too.

Leofard is a pirate. He doesnt dance around the bush, he strikes when the metal is hot and takes what he wants. It works well with garlean airships and the odd unfortunate merchant. Not. So much with you. One, because your consent and emotions are important to him. Two, because you are so. Fucking. Dense. He steals silks and jewels and fancy foods for you, spends time with you, saved your life from diabolos, told you his sad life story. Hes one step from throwing himself at you like some fainting dame, and its embarrassing.

(Hes not gonns stop tho)

#ff14 #ff14 headcanons #thancred waters #graha tia #urianger augurelt #estinien wyrmblood #estinien varlineau #aymeric de borel #haurchefant greystone #sidurgu orl #leofard myste #wolcred #wolianger #grahawol #wolstinien #wolmeric #haurchewol #sidwol #leofard/wol

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nocontextveggies · 1 month

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FOR SALE!!!! (Post 1/2) Please PM me if interested in anything I am purging a very large section of my movie collection! This includes most of my Veggietales material! I am at minimum the second owner of most of these-they were all obtained secondhand, and are in various conditions.

Title List + prices under cut(all prices in CAD, shipping from Canada at buyer's expense) Since there will two posts about this You can also find a full list of everything here [X]

VHS Tapes, 50 cents each A Very Silly Sing-Along, Silly Sing-Along 2, Jonah Silly Sing-Along, Ballad of Little Joe, 321 Penguins Amazing Carnival of Complaining

DVD, 1 Dollar Each Where's God When I'm s-scared, Rack Shack & Benny, The Toy That Saved Christmas, Larry-boy! and The Fib From Outer Space, Larry-boy and The Rumour Weed, The Ultimate Silyy-Song Countdown, Lyle The Kindly Viking, Wonderful World of Auto-tainment, Easter Carol, Snoodle's Tale, Sumo of the Opera, Duke and the Great Pie War, Minnesota Cuke and the Search for Samson's Hairbrush, Lord of the Beans, Sheerluck Holmes and the Golden ruler, Larry-boy and the Bad Apple, Gideon Tuba Warrior, Wonderful Wizard of Ha's(TWO COPIES), Abe and The Amazing Promise, Saint-Nicholas Story of Joyful Giving, Sweetpea Beauty, It's a Meaningful Life, Little Drummer Boy(TWO COPIES), Robin Good and his Not-So-Merry Men, Penniless Princess, Beauty and The Beet, Bob & Larry's How To Draw, Pirates Who Don't Do Anything,

Books 1$ Each Photo Album Unopened with Stickers

Other Larry-Boy Ultimate Super Hero Collection(2$), Christmas Classics(2$, comes with christmas ornament),, Jonah Very Veggie Family Adventure Full Kit(Best Offer), Various Christan Pogs(25 cents each),

#veggietales #bigidea #nocontextveggies #veggie tales #for sale

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threephantomrey · 5 months

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what i think your favorite animated Scooby movie says about you (part 1 cause im not doing all the movies today lol) (also someone did do this on reddit a while ago which i only found out today, but this is my version)

Zombie Island: you love horror and you’re pretty cool. you also think this movie is a masterpiece and never stop saying that.

Loch Ness Monster: you value friendship so much and you like anything that has to do with the sea. Brothers Forever is probably your favorite Scooby song

Where’s My Mummy: you’re very into history that revolves around Egypt and you really liked the twist of Velma being the ghost of cleopatra

Ghoul School: you’re either really sweet and one of the best people to be around or you’re one of the worst people ever. there is no in between. you love the Ghoul School girls

Music of the Vampire: you like musicals and vampires and you’re a big fan of the song “Done With Monsters”

Moon Monster Madness: you’re really into anything to do with the moon and space in general and you want to go there one day

The Sword and the Scoob: you like knights, castles, medieval stories, and time travel

Witch’s Ghost: you’re obsessed with the Hex Girls and autumn and witch stories. you think Ben Ravencroft is a great villain. also you’re probably LGBTQ+

Stage Fright: you love Fraphne and you love Phantom of the Opera

Trick Or Treat: you are probably LGBTQ+ and your favorite character in the gang is Velma. also you’re a fun person to be around! and you like Halloween

Reluctant Werewolf: you have an interest in werewolves. also probably wondering why we never saw Googie again and why this was the only time we saw her

Alien Invaders: you like Crystal and Amber and hope they come back some day. and you were sad at the ending

Cyber Chase: you’re probably into sports, technology, and you think the Phantom virus is a great villain

Boo Brothers: you like silly ghosts and the intro song

Curse of the 13th Ghost or Return to Zombie Island: you’re a very nostalgic person and people don’t agree with you on a lot of things. but you just want to have fun a lot of the time!

Happy Halloween: you make people laugh, you’re very funny. also you like Halloween

WWE crossover movies: you’re a fan of WWE and Scooby and everyone knows it

Straight Outta Nowhere: you grew up watching Courage and Scooby and you’re very chill. were excited about this crossover more than others and you probably got what you wanted

#scooby doo #scooby doo movies #let me know which ones i missed and i’ll make the part two soon

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tranakin-skywalker · 2 months

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Story Masterlist

Figured I should finally make one of these so y'all know what the fuck I'm talking about when I go on about my silly little au ideas. I'll be updating this list as I publish things/ come up with new ideas. Published fics have a hyperling to their ao3 embedded in their title.

THE BIG BOYS

Singularity:

Half canon re-write, half me going "hey wouldn't it be fucked up if _?" Basically I packed all my favorite little headcanons and tropes into one five-part monster of a series, featuring things like eldritch demigod Anakin, Force deities, fucked up Naboo politics, sentient droids, and a Galactic Civil War that actually feels Galactic and like a war. Somehow ended up with me both trying to make Star Wars more realistic, and leans way more into the mythological side of the story. Also features a ton of my own original concepts. A pantheon of Tatooine gods and slave culture inspired loosely by Fialleril, Sith religion and rituals, clone culture and language built around the idea that they've been dehumanized and un-personed for their entire existence, and a bunch of stuff about the Coruscant underworld. You can find more about it under my fic:singularity tag

Star-Birth:

The first part of Singularity more or less covering the events of TPM with a few... creative liberties taken. Status: Published/ Ongoing Word Count: 92,740

Accretion:

Part II of Singularity covering the years of Anakin's apprenticeship between TPM and AOTC, as well as looks into both the lives of Shmi and Padme. I took inspiration from a bunch of the stories in Legends covering this time period but most of it is my own thing. This is the one that goes the deepest into the functions and every day life of the Jedi, as well as life on Coruscant in general. An exploration of the disconnect between the governing body of the Senate and the wider galaxy, the wealth disparity on Coruscant and just how fucking dystopian it is, and generally how something like the Clone Wars could come about. Status: Unpublished

Asterism:

Part III of Singularity. AOTC if I butchered it's body and reassembled it in the imagine of my own design. Some of the movie's plot points remain but I'm attempting to get from Point A to Point B as originally as I can while still keeping with the heart of Attack of the Clones. Status: Unpublished

Nucleosynthesis:

Part IV of Singularity. The Clone Wars but not the animated version. We are going full Republic comics version baby. Ahsoka is still here tho, because I love her. Basically my idea of what a galactic civil war would actually look like, featuring space battles that last for months on end, widespread disease outbreaks, planets completely wiped out of existence, billions of combatants, and war crimes galore. The size of this war is immense. Like, there's over 1 billion active duty clones at any given time. (Which actually isn't even all that much compared to the population of the Republic at large lol) Probably the most space opera of the series. Status: Unpublished

Event Horizon:

Fifth and final part of Singularity. Essentially it's version of RotS, but with a vastly different ending. And beginning. And middle. Basically it's RotS if you squint. This I think is going to be the one that goes the deepest into the mythological/ fantasy aspects of the story. The Force and all it's weirdness is a huge aspect of this one. This is also the fic that goes the deepest into the Sith and all their awfulness. It features a much beloved headcanon of mine that when a Sith master is killed by their apprentice, part of their consciousness enters into their apprentice as a sort of living holocron. Which means that the current Sith master is essentially possessed by all the Sith that came before them and is constantly having to fight to keep control of their own body. It serves both as a way to pass on all the Sith teachings (since a living master would have a vested interest in keeping knowledge from their apprentice and thus a lot of that knowledge would be lost over time) and as an attempt at immortality. A strong enough spirit can take control of a weak enough vessel. Unfortunately for all those Sith masters, any apprentice who is able to go on and kill their own master isn't going to be in any way weak. A full, proper possession in the Sith lineage has been few and far between. I imagine y'all can guess what this means for Sidious' intentions with Anakin, a living vergence of the Force and for all intents and purposes immortal (even if Anakin won't let himself acknowledge that fact). Status: Unpublished

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Cytokinesis:

What started as me asking myself "what if the start of ANH but Vader/Anakin was trans and the twin's gestating parent and thus, recognized Leia immediately?" which then turned into something much much longer than I intended. Oops. The actual story starts during the Clone Wars when Anakin discovers he's been magically impregnated by the Force just like how his own mother was. Deals a lot with gender, parenthood, generational trauma, and repeating cycles. Also clones. Lots and lots with the clones. Their relationship with Anakin after discovering that he's basically a clone of his mother is a huge part of this fic. This particular version is going to follow along the beats of RotS and what comes after more or less (so, things are going to get a lot worse before they get better. Sorry) with some divergence here and there. This is the fic I find myself going back and rewriting/tweaking the most. Which is partially why it's taking me so long to update. I'm trying to make this next chapter one I'm completely happy with instead of having to go back and redo it in a few weeks lol. (Tho I think that's part of the fun of fanfic, the ability to go back and change things whenever you want). Honestly, this one is getting so long I might end up having to split it into two fics. fic: cytokinesis tag Status: Published/ Ongoing

Unnamed Cytokinesis Spin-off:

While Cyto is going to have a happy ending, it's going to take a lot of hurt to get there. Which is why I came up with an au to my au where the twins come early, Anakin doesn't fall, and things are happy... ish. The Republic is still a trash fire on the brink of collapse and everyone still has so so much trauma. Even when I write a happy au, things still suck lmao. I just can't imagine a RotS fix-it where things aren't still falling apart and Anakin gets off scot-free for murdering the president of the galaxy. Status: Unpublished

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Groundwater:

Ah yes, the fic that is really three differnt aus in a trench coat. 1. In the midst of galactic instability and the seceding of dozens of planets from the Republic, a revolt begins to spread in the Outer Rim. A revolt led by unknown masked force users, and a suspected Sith known only as Vader. The Jedi scramble to uncover the identity of these new enemies, only to discover a plethora of unpleasant truths that make them begin to question themselves and the very Republic instead. 2. After five years with the Jedi Anakin starts to have nightmares about his mother dying and they. just. won't. stop. He asks Obi-Wan for help, begs him for the chance to go to Tatooine and make sure she's alright. He isn't allowed to go. So he takes matters into his own hands. He leaves in the middle of the night, nothing but a note and a cut padawan braid left behind, and he goes to save his mother. Anakin ends up finding more than just his mother. There's a freedom network, one that Shmi is part of. There is a rebellion brewing, stolen weapons and stolen ships. There is a city in the desert, a paradise made by the hands of escaped slaves. And there are things, old things, powerful things, that he never new existed on Tatooine. Like deep ancient caves carved by the planet's mythical groundwater where kyber crystals grow wild and undiscovered. 3. Darth Vader lived, and then he died. In his son's arms he died, but that wasn't the end of it. There is no death, there is only the Force. And the Force was not done with him yet. He returns, four decades in the past, as a ghost haunting his younger self. Forced into the role of a passive observer, no power, no voice, seen only by one little boy and unable to change anything. Cursed to watch history repeat itself. Or at least that's what he thought. fic: groundwater tag Status: Unpublished

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I Wonder Which One Has My Eyes:

There was something achingly familiar about the pair of droids following the young princess around, Pooja thought. Or Pooja Naberrie, junior senator of Naboo, is invited to a senatorial event on Alderaan. There she meets and befriends young Princess Leia Organa. A few things click into place. This one is actually inspired by @keistance fic Uncle Ani, where the Naberries knew about the Anidala marriage. I thought it would be so so fun if Pooja realized that Leia was her baby cousin and secretly tells Leia all about her birth parents. Which means she goes into ANH knowing all about Padme Amidala and Anakin Skywalker, something that completely derails a certain interrogation with a certain Dark Lord when he stumbles over that particular fact. I'm fascinated by the idea of Leia coming from a similar place as Luke in canon, where she knows her father as a good man named Anakin Skywalker before she ever knew him as Vader. I think that change in perspective would give her the same belief and drive to bring her father back to the Light that Luke has. Also I think both twins ganging up on Vader to bully him into redemption is very funny. Status: Unpublished

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Unnamed Togruta AU:

Or Togruta!Skywalkers. Shmi and Anakin are Tatooine togruta, a rare population of togs that were ensalved from Shili dozens of generations ago and slowly grew to adapt to the desert environment. A characteristic of the Tatooine togs is the forward facing montals, which Anakin has. It's a trait coveted for gladiator slaves since they can be used to pin down/gore opponents. Anakin was occasionally entered into matches as a child where he was forced to fight and kill animals. Had he not been taken by the Jedi, he would have eventually been put in death matches against other sentients. (because I'm lazy I'm just copy/pasting this part from an old ask)

A lot of the ideas are coming from the hyena discord, so I can’t claim them as my own. But they are just too good to pass up. Like togruta making infrasound with their montrals and constantly projecting their moods. So when Anakin first gets to the Temple he’s constantly screaming for him mom at a pitch that only other togruta can hear. I’ve decided that that’s actually how he first meets Ahsoka. She hears him making his lost, scared, where’s mom, where’s family sounds and seeks him out to comfort him. Ahsoka would be about four here, and would have left Shili recently enough that she could still remember what those noises mean, even if Tatooine togruta sound different from Shili togruta. (to a Shili tog Anakin’s distressed noises sound like he’s being maimed, but that’s just because of the generational trauma and general awfulness of being a togruta on Tatooine. What they would think of the vocalizations he makes when actually being maimed we will not think about)

So Anakin and Ahsoka end up growing up together right from the start, and the main reason Anakin is so insistent on being knighted early is so that Ahsoka can be his padawan. It’s a private thought he has to himself at first, but as Ahsoka gets older and no masters are showing any interest in taking her on she starts to panic. Anakin tells her that he’ll just have to get knighted before she ages out so that he can be her master. And then the Clone War starts and he realizes that keeping his promise means bringing her onto the battlefield with him where she could die and he’s not sure if he’ll be enough to keep her alive :) Because Shmi is a togruta too she does not get bought by Cleigg Lars. I am just. not dealing with the implications of that. (Listen. I want to read Shmi’s marriage to him as a good thing, but I have a very hard time doing that.) Now, there’s actually a comic (Legands, I think, not Disney canon) where Gardulla goes to Watto and tries to buy Anakin back after he wins the Boonta Eve Classic. So have some fun thoughts about what would have happened to Anakin if he hadn’t gone with Qui-Gon. In the fic, Gardulla goes to buy Anakin but of course he left with the Jedi, so Gardulla decides she’ll take Shmi as payment for Watto’s debts. After all, if Shmi already had one child who turned out to be a talented podracer, well, she might have more. Hence the younger sibling that comes about shortly after Anakin leaves.

When Anakin goes back to Tatooine because of the nightmares about his mom he finds out that Watto sold his mom back to Gardulla and has to go to her to buy his mom’s freedom. Which would be traumatic, on multiple levels. Anakin finds out that a month before he arrived, Shmi tried to escape with the sister Anakin didn’t know he had, and Gardulla had their chips detonated. Gardulla even gives him their triggered remotes as proof. (Of course unbeknownst to Anakin, Shmi and the sister survived and are living with a village of other escaped togruta.) A lot of canon still happens the same, including Anakin’s fall, Order 66, Mustafar, etc. But when Bail Organa sees Ahsoka at Padme’s funeral he tells her that he can take her to a mutual friend of theirs. Ahsoka thinks (hopes) it’s Anakin at first, and is devastated when she realizes it’s Obi-Wan (and then hates herself for feeling disappointment because she should be happy that Obi-Wan is still alive, but he’s not Anakin, and this means that Anakin must be dead). There’s no Lars family and the Organas would have a harder time explaining a non-human daughter, so Ahsoka and Obi-Wan end up taking care of the twins. They eventually find their way to Tatooine because it’s out of the Empire’s notice and, well, because it’s a connection to Anakin (Ahsoka’s trying to hold onto anything she can that connects her to her brother and Obi-Wan is in his self-harming phase.)

And it’s there that they eventually run into a little community of togruta and a woman who looks suspiciously like Anakin who has the last name Skywalker. But hey, Shmi gets to meet her grandkids at least. Even if it happens at the same time that she finds out that son she thought she’d sent away to a better life and hasn’t seen in 13 years is dead. (Obi-Wan sees how much Anakin’s death destroys Shmi and decides to never, ever tell her what he became. Vader will be his burden and it’s a secret he will take to his grave. Anakin Vader is dead, and he’ll save them from ever finding out how it really happened) Of course, 15 years later Ahsoka goes to rescue some rebels from a walking death omen in black when she realizes the infrasound calls he’s shrieking out of his mangled montrals is devastatingly familiar.

togruta au tag or togrutakin tag Status: Unpublished

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Anachromism:

Anakin ends up twenty three years in the future, Vader ends up twenty three years in the past.

So you’ve got Anakin just fresh off the child murder suddenly flung into the Rebellion era and being faced with how much he supremely fucked up. Meanwhile Vader like not even a week after Bespin suddenly back in the Jedi Temple in the middle of the Purge. And because his vision is shit he doesn’t realize at first that it’s a bunch of clone troopers shooting at the big black angry mass that suddenly appeared. Which leads him to accidentally saving a bunch of baby Jedi, who of course imprint on him like orphaned ducklings. Vader figures he must had died at some point and this is a divine punishment for all the atrocities, trapped in a purgatory of reliving all his greatest mistakes. So in a bit of an uncharacteristic move for him, he doesn’t murder to death the gaggle of preschoolers he’s accidentally collected, and instead, in a series of absurd events sort of unintentionally helps to start the Rebel Alliance in a bit of cosmic irony.

Status: Unpublished

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War Machines (title pending):

Jedi are living weapons. Far into the Outer Rim, the Hutts obtain a planet killer. Dystopian au where the sith empire was never wiped out and controls half the galaxy and the Republic is more of an authoritarian dictatorship that uses teh Jedi as living weapons of mass destruction. Force sensitive children are taken from their families and trained as soldiers, raised with a cloned ‘handler’ who was designed specifically to be able to keep their Jedi in line. The Jedi are eldritch, incredibly powerful beings that are forced to wear suppression gear that keeps them confined to their physical form. Only the handler is able to turn it off the gear and allow the jedi the full use of their abilities. Some force sensitives are wired into ships or turned into actual weapons. On Tatooine, Gardulla realizes one of her slaves is a powerful force sensitive and begins having him trained like a jedi to be her own personal one man army. Status: Unpublished

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the thing that lives in dead stars (title pending):

A gambler Watto may have been, but stupid he was not. Anakin Skywalker was too great a prize to risk losing, not when the man betting had the gleam in his eye that told of a winning hand. Not that it mattered in the end. The boy won, and Watto lost, and the hutts got themselves the only human in the entire galaxy that could win a pod race. At least the outlander didn’t leave with the boy as well as his pretty Noobian ship. Or Anakin wins the race but not his freedom. Six years later, the circuit brings him to Coruscant, and the attention of a Sith Lord. My very fucked up Anakin raised as a Sith AU. Status: Unpublished

Shapeshifters AU:

aka space vampire Vader aka sun dragon Skywalkers. So I think we've established by this point that I can't get enough of Eldritch Skywalkers. They are my JAM. So of course I made another eldritch Skywalkers au. There's a few main points to this one. 1. Anakin, and subsequently Luke and Leia, being freaky part-Force abominations, can shapeshift. However, they cannot shapeshift into anything they like. This isn't FMA Envy/ Mystique/ whatever. They can't just look at a person and copy their face. Instead they have to have a deep emotional connection to what they are transforming into, and that transformation is always accessed by strong emotion. While they could theoretically shapeshift into a person they care very close to, the thought of doing so is very unnerving and almost violating, so they don't. Instead, all three Skywalkers have a habit of changing into creatures from Tatooine mythology. 2. Anakin and Beru are half siblings. I love this idea. I cannot express to you how much I love this idea. It just scratches something in my brain so well. Beru is Anakin's younger sister by about a year, and got left on Tatooine with their mother when Anakin was taken by Qui-Gon. She is not a part-Force abomination, but grew up knowing all about Anakin's weirdness. 3. Luke AND Leia are both given to Beru (and Owen) because of said knowledge about Anakin's weirdness. She is probably the best and safest option for raising two baby shapeshifting half-Force abominations. And thus the twins grow up on the same stories Anakin did, with the added knowledge that he could turn into those creatures, and thus, so do they. 4. At some point Anakin found out he could consume the midi-chlorians of other Force sensitives on account of the whole half-Force abomination thing. And since midi-chlorians exist in a persons blood, well. Space vampire. Sidious has a lot of fun feeding Force sensitive people to his pet monster. 5. Speaking of- Vader is more often than not a fuck off huge black hole of a sun dragon. Like, legitimately. In this, sun dragons are essentially living stars in the shape of massive serpents. Vader is what happens when one of those living suns becomes a black hole. 6. Vader is just all around fucked up honestly. He no longer gets to decide what form he takes. His body and everything about it is determined by Sidious' will. His master decides what he turns into, and Vader was always meant to be a monster on a leash. So of course that's what Sidious keeps him as. 7. The twins somehow get roped into the Rebellion. Don't ask me how, I haven't figured out that part just yet. Status: Unpublished

SHORT FICS & ONE-SHOTS

For a Son:

He could not bring her son back to her. Could not even return his body to lay to rest. The least he could do was bring her the grandchild she never even knew she had. He knew it could never forgive what he had taken. Obi-Wan finds out what happened to Shmi Skywalker. Word Count: 4,018 Status: Published

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Lessons the Desert Gave:

No one ever understood how the sand would sink into open wounds. How, no matter how much you scrubbed and washed and clawed, the sand always found its way into your blood. The desert has a way of sticking with you, even long after you left it. (Turns out growing up a slave can really fuck a guy up.) Ficlet/ one-shot collect of character studies looking at all the ways Anakin's childhood would have really messed him up. I'm open to prompts/ requests for this one. Word Count: 1,820 Status: Published / Ongoing

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Dead Letters:

Post RotS. Obi-Wan gets drunk and messages Anakin on his old comm from the war, forgetting that Anakin is dead. For some reason, he keeps on doing it. What could it hurt? Anakin is dead, his comm destroyed on Mustafar just like his body. So he keeps sending messages, because for just a second, it means he can pretend that Anakin is still alive out there somewhere. Then he discovers he doesn't have to pretend. This one could so easily be a crack-fic. Darth Vader gets drunk texts from Obi-Wan telling him all about how awful Tatooine is and that he'll never make fun of Anakin again for hating sand and he keeps getting sunburnt and also Anakin's son is so sweet and cute and just like him until he turned into a surly teenager, why couldn't he just stay an adorable little boy forever? Status: Unpublished

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Jewel Box:

Sidious’ obsession ran deep. What he wanted, he would have- wholly, utterly, and completely. His want for the boy was no different. Sidious POV of Anakin through the years featuring all the horrible messed up things he thinks and does. Big BIG warning for child abuse, grooming, and rape/non-con in addition to Sidious' all around awfulness. This is probably the most awful thing I've ever written. Like holy shit it's fucked up. It's taking me ages to finish because I keep having to take breaks from it. And I'm not even going into any graphic detail. Title comes from that one line in the RotS novel where Sidious calls Vader's suit a jewel box. Status: Unpublished

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dindjarindiaries · 1 day

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I can't help thinking Andor was a curse in disguise. Ok, that's a strong word. But. I agree, Andor is stellar.. and that's the thing. Ever since that series came out, any other show that isn't exactly as good and exactly the same was critized unfairly harshly. Just look at The Mandalorian! Everybody loved The Mandalorian! Then Andor came out, and Mando was snobbed to a mediocre family show for amateur fans. Even season 1 and 2.

Andor is so far away from the other shows and movies in its tone and yeah, writing quality. You can barely compare it with anything else. It looks like it was supposed to be a more niche series, but ended up as a new standard that Star Wars must reach every time, and that's just... unfair.

You have a big point here, and it is because Andor is so good - but that's because Andor adopted modern methods of storytelling, which fit the tone of its respective story.

Andor took a step away from what made Star Wars Star Wars in the first place: a silly goofy space opera with aliens, laser swords, and nonsensical vocabulary. Andor was grounded because of the message it wanted to send; they wanted people in the real world to relate to that story, and thus it became almost like an HBO drama to help foster that relatability.

Star Wars at its core, however, is nothing like that. It does have relatable characters and themes, but in reality, it's beloved because it offers escapism into a world that could never exist. It doesn't take itself too seriously, and that's the point.

The Mandalorian has always toed this line, because at the time it came out, it was the grittiest and darkest Star Wars had ever gotten. After Andor, however, this is clearly not the case. Now that people have gotten a taste of what real-world Star Wars feels like, some want that for everything when... well, that's not what Star Wars is about.

Andor is a fantastic show, a fantastic show, but to me, it's never really felt like a Star Wars show for this reason. People who wish everything in Star Wars was more like Andor probably just aren't fans of the original, fantastical essence of Star Wars itself.

#don't mind this long rant #also i ADORE andor so please let the record show that please please it is amazing #and one way out is just... i can't begin to express how incredible that episode is #star wars #andor #the mandalorian #you have spoken

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devouringyourson · 8 months

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anyway now I'm going to talk about doctor who for a few hours: single episodes people should watch if they only watched 10 and wanna try some newnewwho

5x7 Amy's Choice: standalone where the doctor and his companions have to choose between reality and a dream world but which is which? peak whimsical 11 era if you like this give the 11th doctor a go

5x10 Vincent and the Doctor: everyone everywhere has suggested this and im sure you've already seen it beautiful beautiful standalone

5x14 (Christmas Special) sci-fi version of A Christmas Carol with flying sharks and opera

6x4 The Doctor's Wife: weird, dark and wonderful standalone penned by Neil Gaiman where the tardis get sucked into a junkyard outside of the universe and weird gaimany shit ensues

6x11 The God Complex: doctor who does the shining with a big religious metaphor and a space minotaur. low budget underrated ep which delves into the flaws of 11th doctor and his choice of a young facade

Series 7 is honestly a bit messy and all requires pre knowledge to understand wtf is going on but 7x12 The Crimson Horror is a campy mark gatiss penned horror romp if you fancy some silly victorian gothic

8x4 Listen: doctor who's most philosophical ep with very few answers, don't watch for the plot watch for the tension and metaphors on fear itself. Odd, ambitious and strange. 12 is abrasive and flawed but if you dig the darker tone s8 is a go to

8x8 The Mummy on the Orient Express. literally an egyptian mummy haunting the orient express IN SPACE. Oddly despite the fantasical premise it's also a great episode to get to grips with this harsher, darker doctor and the complicated relationship he has with Clara. The most 12 of episodes

8x13 Christmas Special: Last Christmas. Great big sci-fi christmas mind fuck that's weirdly emotional and stars nick frost as seemingly... actual santa??

Series 9 is a heavily interlinked series with mainly all double parters so hard to recommend a standalon but...

9x11 Heaven Sent is a masterpiece a single ep starring only Peter Capaldi in mainly monologue as we explore an existential eternal prison. Experimental and strange and deeply rewarding.

10x11 World Enough and Time: The Tardis lands on a huge ship with hundreds of floors. A nearby black hole distorts time so that the lower levels are experiencing centuries of civilisation while the upper floors pass mere seconds. You may struggle to understand what's going on in the wider series plot but this one is gloriously bleak body horror and industrial sci-fi. If you enjoy this go back and watch the season

11x6 Demons of the Punjab: the era of 13 has its issues but god did they go hard on the historicals and politics. A beautiful story about family, identity, loss and the horrors of the partition of India during colonial rule

12x8 The Haunting of Villa Diodati. Again with the historicals. So what really went down during that dreadful summer of 1816 where Mary Shelly writes Frankenstein

The 13th season I.... ??? yeah so anyway

#doctor who #11th doctor #12th doctor #recs

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jacquelinemerritt · 11 months

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Dragon Ball Z: Abridged Episode 60 Review

What does it mean for an abridged series to go even further beyond?

Part I

I started this review series in 2015 because I loved Dragon Ball Z: Abridged, and I needed there to be writing out there that explained why I loved it so much.

It’s a funny thing, re-reading all of my old writing about it. Part of the nature of a weekly review series is that you tend to zoom in on the particulars, as that’s where the meatiest criticism lies. Going over the specifics of the story’s structure, how details in the show add to a greater whole, it’s all part of the process of finding out why something in a show works, or sometimes, doesn’t work.

It’s in those details though, that you come to a greater whole. By recounting the specific ways in which a story is threaded together, week after week, episode after episode, you start to bring forward recurring ideas, and piece together aspects that continually make a show work, and contribute to the greater whole. And when you’re critiquing a masterpiece, a show so lovingly crafted that every single detail lines up perfectly for its conclusion, you eventually are able to tie those thoughts together into what is hopefully a masterful conclusion of your own.

Dragon Ball Z: Abridged is the best possible version of Dragon Ball Z.

This might be the most contentious statement I’ve ever made about this show. It’s a statement I know for a fact the creators disagree with. But it’s a statement I believe wholeheartedly, and I even would go so far as to say that Dragon Ball Z: Abridged is closer to the spirit of the original Dragon Ball than Toriyama managed to pull off himself.

The original Dragon Ball manga is a masterpiece of its own. Akira Toriyama did a phenomenal job weaving together hilarious gags with thrilling martial arts action and compelling character growth, all while centering one of the most lovable, fun, and pure-hearted protagonists to ever be written. There’s a reason that it spawned an entire genre of imitators, and that’s because its blend of action, comedy, and growth were all executed masterfully.

I don’t think that Dragon Ball Z ever manages to capture that magic the way the original does. That’s not to say that Dragon Ball Z is a bad show, but by the time Raditz enters the story, the manga and show both change into something much more akin to a melodramatic soap opera. There’s so much waxing from the characters about how powerful these foes they’re facing are, and there’s very little levity sprinkled throughout these long, drawn-out fights, as the circumstances feel too dire for the characters to make jokes and be silly.

Silly humor was core to Dragon Ball’s charm though. The very first fight in the first World Tournament Arc is a gag about how Krillin is able to beat a martial artist who has never bathed and uses stench as a weapon, because he doesn’t have a nose to smell him with. The best side character in this series goes from being an angry, murderous criminal to being a cheerful, innocent sprite every time she sneezes, and she always sneezes at the worst possible moments for everyone. Hell, the entire Red Ribbon Army Arc is a joke about how Goku completely obliterates a major threat to the world on a whim, because none of them are martial artists, and not a real challenge as a result!

The very magic of Dragon Ball Z: Abridged is that it takes this melodramatic source material and finds the space within it to make jokes again. The Saiyans are a world-dooming threat, but Nappa is hilarious, and I will forever quote everything he said. Freeza is a genocidal tyrant who has taken the galaxy by force, but even when the world around him is unable to laugh, his spoiled, petulant attitude is funny as hell, and full of delightful dark humor. Even the darkest timeline of Trunks’ future is filled with jokes, whether that be the genuinely despicable ramblings of TJ and the Wombat, or a 50-year-old Bulma making a pass at Gohan, perfectly fitting her original boy-crazy characterization.

And phenomenally, Dragon Ball Z: Abridged manages to do everything I just mentioned without sacrificing an ounce of drama. Goku’s battle against Freeza is desperate, and his Spirit Bomb failing rips the ground out from under you. Future Trunks’ battle against the Cyborgs is tense, and his first transformation into a Super Saiyan is gut-wrenching. Even in the first season, before they fully found their feet, Team Four Star managed to make the battle between Goku and Vegeta every bit as tense as it needed to be, while still incorporating a constant stream of jokes.

So where does that leave us with Episode 60?

Part II

What, exactly, is the purpose of an abridged series?

I think it’s fair to say that an abridged series is, at its core, an adaptation of a work of art from one medium to another. This is a statement I’ve made before in these reviews, but I don’t think I’ve ever elaborated on it. It feels rather obvious to me that an abridged series be treated as any other adaptation might, because at the end of the day, that’s what artists like Team Four Star, LittleKuriboh, and Something Witty Entertainment are doing. They are adapting a work from the medium of televised anime to the medium of a comedy YouTube short, and making the same kinds of adaptational decisions in creating these series as a production team turning a book into a movie.

You can see this question of adaptation present itself as far back as some of the earliest abridged series, like Avatar: The Abridged Series. Most of that show intentionally leans into the weakest aspects of Katara’s character, emphasizing her feminity, thirst for cute boys, and quick temper far more than the original show ever did. Yet, in its last episode, Katara undergoes a significant transformation in the face of Paku’s sexism, and is completely reimagined with a new voice actress as she goes on a rant about the sexist ways she’s been written, and her refusals to stand for it anymore. The last episode of this abridged series ever made goes out of its way to critique both itself and its source material in its last episode, and it begs the question of how far an abridged series adaptation can go.

Sword Art Online: Abridged famously goes even further in its critique of its source material. Almost every character is completely rewritten to serve as both a more accurate representation of online culture, and a deconstruction of their original persona, with Kirito in particular standing out as a fantastic depiction of the kind of loneliness and self-isolation that comes with being a try-hard edgelord. It takes an entire season of the show for Kirito to learn to truly connect with other people, and that growth is made all the more satisfying by showing genuinely difficult it is for him to maintain anything resembling a positive friendship with anyone because of those edgelord tendencies.

These shows both have very different purposes, in large part due to the evolving understanding of what an abridged series is capable of between their creations, but they both raise a fairly similar question: what happens when you give everyone with a video editor and internet connection the ability to re-tell someone else’s story?1

The answer here is something I think is quite beautiful. The abridged series thrives outside of the realm of copyright locked down by rent-seeking ideas landlords, and allows individuals, groups, and communities to reimagine their favorite stories. Sometimes, what they imagine is as simple as few extra jokes, or a simple rant about the sexist way a character is written, and sometimes, what they imagine is a completely new version of the story that actually raises interesting questions and showcases compelling characters.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the abridged series found its roots in the copyright-less utopia of early YouTube, when anyone had the freedom to take something they loved or hated, and transform it into something completely different. The rise of Content ID has long since taken away this pure, unadulterated freedom from us, and I truly feel that the internet is worse off for it.

When it comes to Dragon Ball Z: Abridged, the show we are watching is the result of a bunch of people who love Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z more than anything else, asking what they can do to make the show funnier, smarter, and more meaningful. Team Four Star found their footing as writers when they began to focus on the comedy that came from character interaction, as we watched these huge personalities clash, and for every funny joke they were able to draw out of that foundation, they managed to draw even more pathos and catharsis for these characters.

Which is to say, Team Four Star took the idea of an abridged series, and went even further beyond.

Part III

Episode 60 of Dragon Ball Z: Abridged is a massive episode that provides a satisfying resolution to the whole series, and nearly every storyline running within it. It also highlights the relationship between its characters fantastically, placing most of the story’s emotional weight on the fractured dynamic between Gohan and his chronically absent father, Goku.

The entire first part of the episode is focused on the tension between who Gohan fundamentally is, and the man his father expects him to be. Goku has, in a stroke of fighting genius (the only genius he is capable of), perfectly planned out this encounter between Perfect Cell and Gohan. He’s manipulated Cell into hosting a tournament for the fate of the world, and placed his son in the perfect position to take down Cell and ascend to power greater than anyone has ever seen. And it’s all ruined because, as Piccolo perfectly points out, Gohan hates fighting.

The subtext of emotional strain between Goku and Gohan has been running throughout the entire series, but it’s finally brought to the forefront of the text in this moment. We see Gohan wrack himself emotionally and Cell wrack him physically, as he and Cell both try to force himself to fill the role his father has placed him in. Even as Cell violently births his own progeny to wreck Goku and his companions, in a last ditch effort to stir a fire within Gohan, Goku’s son cannot bring himself to be the warrior his father believes him to be.

Android 16’s speech and subsequent death changes all of that for Gohan. In a moment set to a breathtaking cover of Unmei no Hi, Gohan internalizes the lesson passed onto him by Android 16, who thoroughly eviscerated the liberal pacifism Gohan has been trying to embody. And Gohan gets angry. So angry that his power skyrockets, and he becomes a Super Duper Saiyan.

Super Duper Saiyan Gohan is fucking terrifying.

Throughout Dragon Ball Z: Abridged, we’ve come to know Gohan as an incredibly intelligent, exuberant, compassionate bookworm. Even though he doesn’t want his entire life to revolve around education and books, he still revels in knowledge and the opportunity to learn, and some of his cutest moments are when he is allowed to be truly childlike, like when he eagerly investigated Cell’s time travel pod for clues.

Every single ounce of compassion and love for life Gohan had before transforming into a Super Duper Saiyan is replaced with rage. Rage at Cell for destroying Android 16, a beautiful soul who did nothing wrong. Rage at Goku for thrusting him into this fight unprepared, and taking away the only hope he felt by throwing Cell a Senzu. And rage, most of all, at the world, for being so fucked up that he was forced into this situation to begin with.

Gohan’s rage is cold though. There is no righteous fury like Goku, no petulant tantrum like Vegeta, no sorrowful torment like Trunks. This Gohan slowly defines the word “filicide” for Cell as he effortlessly commits it, wiping out all of Cell’s children so quickly even Freeza, the most murderous being we’ve met in this universe, would be impressed.

That very rage drives all of Gohan’s decisions, as he lords his power over Cell and takes every opportunity to torment him. He blows away all of Cell’s limbs with a Kamehameha, and then guts him with his fist so hard that he throws up Android 18, and loses his Perfect form. It’s this blindness by rage that leads to Gohan’s greatest mistake, of not finishing off Cell, who tries to blow himself and the planet up in order to gain some kind of victory.

What’s perfect about this moment though is that while Gohan feels entirely responsible for his mistake, Goku knows better. He recognizes the responsibility he bears for Gohan’s bloodlust, and knows that the only way to make it right is to remove Cell from the equation altogether, teleporting the two of them to King Kai’s planet in bold move to save the earth.

Goku’s decision to sacrifice himself also recalibrates Gohan’s perspective, guiding him away from the rage that filled him before, so that when Cell returns, and murders Vegeta’s baby boy, Gohan doesn’t hesitate to put himself in harms way to protect Vegeta from a deadly blow. It costs him an arm, but his commitment to protecting others, even when it’s stupid, and even when it gets himself hurt, is true to the Gohan we’ve come to know and love. All that’s left for Gohan to do is face off against Cell, one Kamehameha against another, and draw on the strength and fighting spirit of his father to deliver the final blow.

Goku and Gohan aren’t the only two characters whose relationship is deepened in this episode. Vegeta’s enraged cry of “MY BABY BOY!” when Cell kills Trunks shows just how much Vegeta has come to love his own son, despite the airs he puts on to the contrary. Piccolo’s love for Gohan is also expressed incredibly here as he lectures Goku for not paying attention to the needs and wants of his son, who just wanted to receive love and affection from his father.

In fact, the love that these characters have for each other, and the ways they express it, is a theme that runs deep in this episode. Trunks love for all these folks around him is shown as he dutifully delivers them all Senzu Beans, quietly making silly puns to each of them. Krillin’s love for Android 18 is displayed wonderfully, whether through him gaining the strength to stand up to Vegeta because she’s resting in his arms, or through him wishing her and her brother free of the bombs implanted in them. Even Yamcha and Tenshinhan are given a moment of brotherly love, as they express for the first time in words how much they both mean to each other.

That very love is also what drives Goku to refuse to be resurrected at the end of the episode, despite Cell having been defeated. He genuinely loves Gohan, Goten, Chi Chi, and all of his friends, and knows that the best way to show his love, for once, is actually to be away from them, and spend time in heaven with King Kai. He’s not afraid of the great change this will be, both for him, and the people he loves, and is willing to embrace the afterlife if it means safety for his loved ones.

Goku’s speech about embracing change and not being a part of his loved ones’ life anymore is also very easy to read as a coda to Dragon Ball Z: Abridged itself. He, and all the rest of these characters, are saying good-bye to us, the audience that has followed them on their journey for years, and they are all embracing the truth that it is beautiful to let this show end on its own happy terms. It’s ironic that, at the time, Team Four Star announced that they would be trying to continue this series, but it’s clear they grew to see the wisdom in Goku’s words too.

A similar message can be found in Cell’s final moments, as he gives us a beautiful rendition of Frank Sinatra’s My Way. Team Four Star, just like this villain, has spent nearly a decade re-telling the three sagas of Dragon Ball Z they loved the most, and at every turn, they chose to do it their way. Sometimes, in the early days, that meant reference-based humor that aged like milk, but more often than not, it meant leaning into their strengths as comedic writers, taking creative liberties with the source material, and working to elevate the text of Dragon Ball Z to something even better than the original show.

I don’t know what to call that other than Perfect.

Epilogue

The journey that I’ve been on with Dragon Ball Z: Abridged, both as a viewer and critic, has been an incredible one. It has meant more to me than just about any other show I’ve ever watched, and stands up there with some of the most impactful art that I’ve experienced. It’s a show I’ve watched when I was suicidally depressed to find some sort of levity, a show I found enough depth in to meticulously critique every episode, and a show I’ve gotten even my shounen-indifferent partner to get extremely hype about, as I showed them the entire show in the lead-up to its fantastic finale.

What Team Four Star managed to create in Dragon Ball Z: Abridged is something genuinely special. It’s a show that makes me laugh harder than just about anything. It’s a show that’s made me cry more times than I can count too, as I was tearing up multiple times while re-watching the finale for this review. It’s even a show that I get to cringe at sometimes, when I think of the early seasons, but that cringing makes it all the more impressive how much Team Four Star improved as storytellers, and elevated their craft to tell their version of Dragon Ball Z better than anyone else could.

I love Dragon Ball Z: Abridged. I will always love Dragon Ball Z: Abridged. And even though it’s over, I know it will always be there for me, waiting for me to tag along with Goku, Krillin, Vegeta, and Gohan, as they power up and save the world.

Rating: 5/5

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Stray Observations

1This question, you might notice, is exactly the same question raised by the existence of fan-fiction, and this is because abridged series are, at their core, no different from any other form of fan-fiction. An abridged series does, by its nature, require more work and expertise than a piece of prose on Archive of Our Own, but all it achieves, in the end, is a greater level of accessibility, like the difference between a written article and a video essay.

I genuinely adore that in this episode, when Piccolo goes to yell at Gohan to dodge, he’s already dodging Cell perfectly. What a great ending to a running gag.

Yamcha’s every line in this episode is great too. He just wants to be included, whether that’s in Team Three Star, or Cell’s plans for tournament entertainment, and I love him for that.

Super Duper Saiyan is also, just, fucking brilliant. Like, what a great way to use Goku’s silliness to get around the awkwardness of these forms being called Super Saiyan 2 and Super Saiyan 3. Vegeta calling the next form Super-Dee-Duper Saiyan just sells the joke even further. If the show had continued for another season, I genuinely would have loved the comedy of these characters shouting about being “Super-Duper Saiyan” or “Super-Dee-Duper Saiyan,” and would love to see a mock-up of Goku’s “even further beyond” speech with these terms in Team Four Star’s style.

Krillin Owned Count: 0. And as a huge fan of Krillin, yeah, this makes me real fuckin’ happy J

Also holy shit, did Krillin cum 39 times??? That’s super impressive for a cis dude, mad props.

#dragon ball z abridged #dragon ball z #team four star #tfs #dbz #dbza #dbza ep60

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