#involving themselves to our life as they are now part of it

[ryllen]

alex handling calf but looks like photo taken from photostock image

#i want him to say something like cow's eyes are so gentle huh; it's like actual gentleness of a mother #stardew valley #sdv #sdv alex #stardew alex #stardew valley alex #fanart #i like to think in the farm he loves cows the most #he may pretend to like horse more because it's cooler for awhile #but it's cows #i rly like when sdv spouses are drawn get down & take part on farming things #involving themselves to our life as they are now part of it #lmao it's funny to think he is popular among mother cows #ladies man in the barn #it'd be interesting to hear about each spouse 1 preferred farm thing/work

[thesirencult]

PAC READING: CHRISTMAS WISHES FROM YOUR FS

PILE 1

Your FS is going through a "10 Of Swords" moment. They have been blinded from the truth. Her light is stronger than any illusion's. You are part of this truth. You and this person share a very special soul bond. Your lives' are parallel to eachother, a thin thread connecting the dots until the moment you meet.

"Keep your map close to your chest darling.

Not many people will understand the journey you are embarking on. I do. I want you to know that I wish that all wishes come true the next year. I'm kinda hopping one of them involves me ; )

I wish you get to heal. I wish the sun is warming up your skin and your eyes are shining with hope. I wish I was there to hold your hand. We could embrace eachother under the sun.

You are my sun.

My Sun. Take the chance and that leap of faith. It will bring you closer to happiness and to me. There are times the most illogical choice and the most risky one leads us to success. The paradox of risk.

I wish you keep the flame in your heart alight and your optimism helps you rise above every single. I wish you find love and guidance within your soul.

Goodbye, for now, my Sun and Merry Christmas <3"

PILE 2

Your person is not happy. They are far away from you but energetically they can feel that you are struggling. Your person is very spiritual and they want you to hold on for a tiny bit longer. They might be older than you. When you meet they will take on the role of a mentor. They see you, the real you and they want to help this diamond form under pressure.

Your FS is very calm, cool and collected. They know what they want. Your message is more heav,y but I know, deep in my heart, that you are telepathetically connected and they constantly send you messages, especially through songs and quotes you stumble upon.

"I wish you could see yourself from my POV. The amazing, beautiful, strong soul that you are. I wish you could look at life through a different prism. I want you to take the reigns and show everyone who you are. I wish you find the strength to own your beauty.

Your energy is mesmerizing. Like a cold night under the full moon and a wolf howling in the background. Hecate.

Choose sovereignty. Choose yourself baby. You're not unlucky. Your time just hasn't come yet.

I want you to push one last time baby. Do it for me. I'm sorry I'm not there to wish you "Happy Christmas".

I wish you manifest your dreams,I wish you dare to invest in your future, in our future without thinking you don't deserve it.

You have more options than you think. Don't make any bad choice you will regret later.

I love you baby. I want you to be healthy and strong."

PILE 3

Your FS is very "hungry" for you. They want you to let them take control. They are more possessive and obsessive than you would expect. They show their emotions through touch and on the bed.

They are daring and won't mind to show that you are theirs to everyone. Your FS knows taht you have big goals and they want you to know that in the future you will achieve all your dreams.

They are pretty succesfull themselves and they want you to get that bag and level up. They love material things and they invest in their future. You would meet in an environment supporting your level up (gym, career day, course, seminar etc.).

"My lovey dovey Sweetheart,

I wish you indulge this season. I wish you let your hair down for a while. When you are mine I will help you calm down. I will take the burdens off of your shoulders and tie your hands. Merry Christmas my lovely baby. I wish this time next year we are together, driving around in our luxury vehicles.

Let me dominate you. Let me take control. I will wrap satin sheets around you and carry you to the bathroom. A bathtub full of rose petals. Champagne for you my love. Sit on my face.

I wish you achieve all your goals. I wish you get your dream car, you bossy little lady. I will hold your hand through everything. I'll be by your side on long nights and I will proudly parade you around and show you off to everyone. I want them to know that the most accomplished person is mine.

You are mine. Mine. Mine.

Always yours, your FS."

#astrology #tarot reading #level up journey #pac reading #tarot #pick a photo #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #soulmate #intuitive readings #psychic #channeled message #future spouse #twinflame

[cipheramnesia]

It is possible I'm leaning too hard into the concept of a parasite POV protagonist which explores what it means to make yourself into the shape of another body (re the starfish comic and a bunch of bits in it), when the body in question is a trans woman who has undergone a severe amount of involuntary biomechanical body modifications, in an experimental attempt to utilize her poorly understood mutated nervous system as a kind of living weapon against a parallel universe which is inadvertantly unraveling our own world in isolated but escalating highly destructive incidents involving sudden explosive release of energy where they intersect.

But when the events proved fruitless, leaving her wracked with trauma and metastasized cancer, they threw her into a care home / prison where she died of the aforementioned cancer, and this is all in service of answering the question of where The Body which becomes the host originates. However, being as the parasitoid mutant blind millipede colony does not enter a corpse with a template, and merely threads into whatever pre-existing physical and neurological systems are part of the host corpse as-is, not only is the colony collectively entrapping itself within the boundaries of a host body, but it is operating on the assumptions that all the surgical and hormonal alterations, as well as the cancer, are a part of the body which they should also include in the neural network they extend themselves into.

Meaning the actual outcome is the world as seen through a parasite colony which, as it consumes and partially replicates both nervous system and brain of the host, believes itself to inhabit the world as a human, while in actuality it is oblivious to the fact that it now exists as an expression of the traumatic abuse which an authoritarian state under threat will inflict on a human body, as well as the cancerous expression of consequences of this abuse, all stemming from a body which, in a world facing an existential crisis, has an unconventional non-human nervous system which allows it to engage directly with an alternate universe.

Which all plays out because the apathetic management of the care home sold her corpse to a religious order / conservative activism group dedicated to the preservation of the mutant parasitic millipede colonies out of the fervent religious belief the colonies represent the unending cycle of life from life and life from death, and also because the millipede colonies act as natural predators to the Dalton County Dump Roundworm Infestation, which has been taking over large portions of the country via its exponential growth and lack of any competition. So now I have a completely sensible background derived for the parasite colony protagonist who is also fifty percent of the dead trans woman they consumed in the process of infesting her corpse, who is now a kind of holy relic to the temple which infected her, but who also wants retribution for the horrific abuse she suffered, while simultaneously experiencing her twisted and broken body as the correct form as derived by the parasite infestation, which is also her.

Simple.

#long post #parasites #girl bites god #body horror #millipede

[cardentist]

Fam how can one be trans in the direction of their assigned sex? I'm not even trying to make the idea sound ridiculous or anything. I'm genuinely curious and want to understand. I thought the whole meaning of trans was that you feel or act in the opposite direction of your assigned sex; if you're transfem but you're afab then to me that's just cisgender??? But like please explain to me how that's not the case if that's what you and others strongly feel so I may grow my compassion

Context: [Link]

well ! while I personally am not intersex, I DO want to highlight intersex people first and foremost.

gender and sex are very Very complex, and I think generally people don't consider the way that being intersex can play a big role in that!

there are intersex people who are afab who are also trans women, there are intersex people who are amab who are trans men, there are intersex people with many Many different relationships with sex and gender and anywhere in between !

an afab person can be born with masculine sex characteristics and transition the way trans women often do. that person May identify as trans, they may not ! that trans person may not even consider themselves a woman depending on who they are and what they want !

I Do think there needs to be an effort to be aware of and make space for intersex people within the trans community, and really the wider queer community as a whole. as it's often something that's given a footnote without deeper thought into the ways that intersex people Actually interact with our communities.

which I don't blame people for not already knowing ! that's the whole point of trying to educate people in the first place ^^

.

and as for Myself

labels are, ultimately, a form of gender presentation. what you call yourself is an extension of not only how you see yourself, but how Other People perceive you.

I could call myself nonbinary or I could call myself trans masc, and both would be Accurate. but people have certain traits and expectations and associations when they see those labels. there are assumptions made about the kind of life that I live, the things that I want, the things I might experience, that change depending on which labels that I use.

and that's not Inherently a bad thing ! I mean, that's part of why people Like labels. but it Can be a struggle for people whose gender is Funny.

I could Also describe myself as genderqueer or multi-gender or genderfluid or gnc or-. I've tried on lots and lots of labels, and for the most part I haven't thrown any of them out, I just keep them in a box under my bed and take them out when relevant.

I've been wrestling with the feminine aspect of my identity for a very Very long time. I've been aware that I'm some level of trans masc. that part was easy. I want a deeper voice, I want things about my body to change, I don't want people to look at me and see a cis woman.

but I Also like femininity. I've found that after accepting myself as trans masc and slowly growing an environment where I am Perceived as masculine, I've started getting euphoria at presenting femininely in the Same way that I did (and do!) get about presenting masculinely.

but that feeling doesn't carry over when I'm perceived as a cis woman. it's Quite Uncomfortable for obvious gender reasons.

and while I may not know the exact Words that I'd use to describe it (as I've said, I've been chewing on it for Many years now), I've gotten a clearer idea of how I Feel.

I want to be Visibly trans. I want to be perceived masculinely And femininely. I want to transition masculinely to present femininely (and sometimes butch, sometimes like your dad at the ace hardware store, I contain multitudes).

and of course, figuring out what I have going on has involve a lot of exploration ! it's the same way I figured out the whole trans masc thing in the first place. seeking out other trans people and other Things About trans people feeling things out.

I find ! that I have a lot of shared experiences with transfeminine people. both in how I feel about certain things, some of the presentation that I want, and in how people would React To said presentation.

my femininity Is Trans, I don't relate to cis womanhood. but I Do relate to trans femininity. which is really awkward for me, because it's difficult to describe it to other people fjksldljkasfdjklfasd

(I don't personally consider myself a trans woman mind, but I'm certain there Are people who are trans men and trans women at the same time. gender is complicated, sex is complicated. labels are malleable and sometimes situational)

Could I describe myself with a different label? probably ! I've got lots of them. but when I Don't put emphasis on this aspect of myself people assume that it's not there. insist that it Couldn't be there, and I don't know what I'm talking about. and those people who Would act nasty towards me probably aren't gonna change their mind just because I changed my bio. but it feels Nice to assert that aspect of myself when other people are trying to tear it down.

.

part of me feels like I should post the intersex portion of this by itself, because people tend to engage more with shorter posts and there's nothing Short about my gender situation ljkfdasjkls

but ! I dunno, if this makes even one person understand the gray areas of gender and presentation a little more it'll be worth it.

thank you for taking the time to ask ! and especially for doing so kindly ! I do hope you'll see this

#discourse #long post #intersex #genderqueer #nonbinary #multigender #trans unity #queer unity #moral of the story is that gender is a fuck

[scrupulosity-comics]

hey is racism one of your obsessions? also white and ocd. if it is, how u cope with it? i'm really afraid all the time to hurt my loved ones who are black people, and they're the majority of my loved ones. and how do u identify whats racism from whats an intrusive thought?

Most of my race-related OCD is abstract stuff like “if I move out of my parents’ house and try to live my own life outside of their control, I will have to find somewhere I can afford to pay rent, which will probably mean moving into a low-income neighborhood, which would mean inadvertently helping to gentrify the community, which would gradually push the original residents out of their homes and disrupt community ties and support systems and creating housing insecurity, so therefore I can’t move out or move on”.

I think that’s just part of a larger existential terror that I can only ever make the world worse by living in it—a net harm to the universe, molecule by misspent molecule.

I have been letting this ask sit in my inbox for weeks now because I’m convinced that anything I say will be destructive. What if my answer enables or excuses racism? What if my answer fuels the anguish of the mentally ill?

The rational and compassionate part of my mind insists that your loved ones (and mine!) understand that you (and I) are white, and have likely dealt with white peoples all their lives, and are capable of judging for themselves whether you are good to them and deserving of their intimacy. It is impossible to go through life without hurting and being hurt by people you care about—always you will have blindspots and miscommunications and competing needs. That’s just part of the curse of consciousness and being a social species. We all get a little blood on our hands eventually, one way or another… friendship involves knowing this, accepting this, and committing to avoid it and then, that failed, to make things right.

Again: your friends know you’re white. They have reason to expect the best of you or they wouldn’t be your friends. They choose to have you in their lives; trust them to trust you, and to recognize the difference between a beloved friend struggling with a treacherous and unkind brain and doing their best in an inescapably racist society, and a racist who whose bigotry makes them unworthy of their time and affection.

I do think racism obsessions are a particularly difficult manifestation of OCD to cope with because they’re hard to discuss at all without feeling like you’re implicitly asking for absolution. With other types of OCD, it’s common to seek reassurance that what you’re obsessively afraid of isn’t true—but what feels more racist than asking someone to reassure you that you’re not racist…? LMAO.

They say the “cure” to OCD, such as it is, is just to learn how to embrace the existential horror of uncertainty. Tall fucking order. Hell on Earth! But in a bizarre way I have found the rhetoric that “everyone is unconsciously and incurably racist” to be unexpectedly helpful… there is no total psychological purging and mental purification we can undergo, no amount of ritual self-flagellation that will drive the demons out, no pristine state we can aspire to and hate ourselves for soiling. Only mundane everyday commitments to compassion and empathy and solidarity and cleaning up our messes. But even then, a thought isn’t a mess. A thought I’d not a thing that happened or a choice you made. It doesn’t represent an alternate timeline branching off into a parallel universe where you have acted on it and hurt people.

Earlier this year I was playing a video game—during my lunch break I got to wondering what happened if you failed a skill check that I had passed in my own playthough, so I looked up a clip on YouTube and was so triggered by the answer (the player character calls his companion a racial slur in the heat of the moment, without meaning to, even if you’ve played him as a committed anti-racist) that I immediately spiraled and was close to throwing up in the broom closet, and when I got home I opened my own save and tried to make the player character kill himself as catharsis. It was an incredibly unreasonable guilt response to a completely fictional scenario that I hadn’t even gotten in my own playthrough, but in retrospect it was a safe way to explore fear of my own internalized racism hurting somebody and what might happen if my intrusive thoughts came true. It sucked and it was terrible and I was angry at myself for being crazy about it, but it ended up being a small dose of exposure therapy and practice at not repenting for nonexistent through self-abuse.

I dunno. This has been a long uncomfortably personal ramble but I hope it’s helpful. I don’t know if your friends know you have OCD (or how it manifests) and I don’t know whether telling them would help. But allowing yourself to trust others to trust you is far more useful than beating yourself up for thoughts you don’t want. I have on occasion warned people that I am cautious about doing certain things with them—particularly drinking—because there is a risk that I may spiral and show symptoms humiliating and uncomfortable to both of us, and I don’t want to put them in a position where they witness or feel like they have to help me manage the white guilt elements of my disorder. These conversations have usually gone well, and the mutual understanding to boundaries takes some of the tension out, which seems to reduce the triggers. It’s messy and awkward and maybe it limits who is willing to be friends with me, but IMHO it’s better than surprising someone.

As for determining whether something is an intrusive thought or actual racism, I guess my answer is: does it matter? Would you manage them differently? Intrusive thoughts may be an evil voice in your brain, but racism is an evil voice in society’s brain.

[theambitiouswoman]

Your parents might not like your dreams but they will like the house, car and gifts you buy them from the money you make by accomplishing those dreams. Your parents job is to protect you. Sometimes, even project the future they want for themselves on to you. Parents 'parenting style' involved projecting their well intentioned views on to their children. However, their views also align them with the life THEY have, not necessarily the life YOU could want for yourself. Most parents do not use discernment when raising their children, thus raising their children as an extension of themselves- and not the child as their own person. We can’t blame our parents forever or live for others while abandoning our true selves. The thoughts they have are based on the reality they experienced. Your parents didn’t grow up exposed to the opportunities and way of life that exists now. They don’t understand it. Finding your own way is part of becoming an adult and disappointing those we care about is a hurdle we need to cross in order to get there.

[aclickbaittitle]

What do Fiction Podcasts have to say about the future?

Whenever you write a story set years from now, how you construct the world around it creates a new way to see the future, a fictional image to a reality we could be headed towards.

Fiction podcasts love to play within the sci-fi genre, and the thousands of audio dramas they have given us new pictures of what our world could look like in the next century (or a few years closer).

In this article I want to analyze the settings in the following shows: Hello from the Hallowoods, Desperado and The Strange Case of Starship Iris.

Hello From the Hallowoods

Hello From the Hallowoods welcomes us to a world ravaged by black rains and capitalism’s greed. After a natural (but man-made) disaster involving acid rain and flooding the world’s successions gave birth to two different types of beings: those who prefer to dream in a company’s “Prime Dream” and those who stay awake to continue living.

Even though the world is post-apocalyptic on paper, it never feels like it. Rather it is enchanted, there are woods where gods, revenants, devils, giants and zombies fall in love with themselves and with each other, places where community is found.

This, I attribute this to the fact that most characters don’t lament a nebulous “end of the world”, since this is the world they have always been living in and they are going to make the best of it: find family, friends, lovers, build homes and destroy bigots.

You leave the world of Hello From the Hallowoods knowing that even a doomed world is worthy of being awake for.

Desperado Podcast

Desperado Podcast also takes us to a world that was looted, but this time mainly by religious colonialism. 

Neo-colionalism has made itself tangible through genocides and direct targeting to believers that worship other than the “Old man in the Sky”.  In its first episode a community in México which revere La Catrina (a goddess in the show inspired by a popular figure in mexican art) is wiped out by the crusaders. 

From there our protagonist Elio is the sole survivor of his people, however all is not lost as he teams up with Talia (the chosen of Baron Samedi) and Shinji (whom I believe is a death kami?).

Elio now literally carries the memories of his community as the vessel for her goddess. Likewise in Desperado, the magic of the characters is the legacy their ancestors gave them, and it is what keeps them alive in the violent world. 

Though if we are ever to worry that our protagonist could fall into its clutches, the structure of the world soothes our preoccupations. You see, it is the characters within the story that are narrating their own experiences to the audience so we know that after all the pain, they ended up safe.

What Desperado tells us about the future is that, even with the ongoing genocides, white-washing of our culture, and neo-colonialism in general we will end up victorious in the end, and that our history will be forever within our memory.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris

The Strange Case of Starship Iris, is the most sci-fi audio drama out of the bunch. It follows the crew of the Rumour, a smuggler's ship, as they try to uncover the dark secrets of the Federation and evade persecution.

As with the other two properties, the future is not an easy world, but our characters are making the most of it.

In a post-war galaxy, the crew of the Rumour is smuggling space-ship parts, medicine, and erotic magazines until they find a help alarm coming from the Starship Iris and rescue biologist Violet Liu. From there they are involved in a mystery which, if the truth comes to life, they could be charged with treason against the Intergalactic Republic. 

Throughout the two seasons of the podcast, Violet Liu and company heal together the scars that the war and its result: the Intergalactic Republic left them. They fight against the government not only through robberies, infiltration, and coordinated efforts with rebel groups but also by eating latkes, drinking, singing shanties, and getting gay jewish married.

To conclude

if queer podcasts are telling us something about the future, it is that it may be equally messed up as the present but that queer, disabled people of color will exist beyond the end of the world and that even in the bleakest of futures we will continue to love and thrive.

#hello from the hallowoods #desperado podcast #strange case of starship iris #hfth #tscosi #article #audio drama #audio fiction #fiction podcasts #also #is so funny how only one out of the three shows is like “true” sci-fi but hey the three are set in the future (or an alternate reality in d #desperados case #but whatever)

[funnier-as-a-system]

sorry for the possibly dumb question

what the fuck is a system

Don't worry, anon, this isn't a dumb question at all! Systems aren't very well-known, so I'm happy to explain them to you. I'll start by explaining what a system is, then go more in-depth about systems in general.

So, you know how most people are one person? Or, rather, you know how when you meet someone, you assume they're the only person in their body? You don't really think "I wonder if this person shares their body and life with other beings." or "I wonder if this person I know is actually multiple people all sharing the same body.", but that's how it is for systems!

In simple terms, a system is any collective group of self-aware entities that share the same body (which is, I fully acknowledge, a complicated definition, but basically we have multiple selves whereas most people would have just one, and each self has their own identity). We may not specifically consider ourselves individual people (some systems see themselves as separated parts of one whole person, for instance), but it'll probably help you understand if you think of us as people that happen to share the same body. We each have our own sense of self, ideas, feelings, personalities, and on and on, just like anyone else.

Although this probably sounds very strange and surprising, it's likely that you've heard of systems before – just not with that language. Many people have heard of "multiple personalities" or "Multiple Personality Disorder", which is how systems used to be known. This sort of understanding of systems is especially common in horror movies, which tend to depict systems as serial killers or monsters. Of course, systems are no more likely to hurt others than anyone else is, but the stereotype and stigma persists, and can lead to harassment or even violence against systems.

However, you may have also come across more positive depictions. Body sharing is a common trope, for instance. People with Dissociative Identity Disorder, who often describe themselves as systems, are being more often portrayed as regular or kind people rather than serial killers, such as Uendo Toneido from Ace Attorney. I've often seen systems point to characters and series like Venom, Sense8, and Moon Knight – which depict systems or situations and characters that resonate with systems – to describe what their lives are like. We often find characters that are rather like systems that may not have been intended to be read as such and have a laugh about it; you might be able to spot the same, now that you know what you're looking for.

So, systems can be understood as when a single body is inhabited by more than one person, or being, or entity (whichever term you prefer). We may share the same body, but we each have our own selves, and often, our own names and identities, too.

That's the essence of it! I'll put more under the cut about systems in case you're curious.

For starters, if you're looking into systems, you'll probably run across the term "plurality", which is an overarching term that refers to all instances of someone sharing a body/brain; it is the state of being more-than-one, not just an individual collection of beings in a single body (the latter is what the word "system" specifically refers to). There's also the word "plural", which can be used either as a noun to mean the same thing as "system", or as an adjective to describe things that involve or exhibit plurality. For instance, I am plural. I very much enjoy talking about plurality and plural characters in fiction.

(As a comparison, you may think of video chats/group calls. Plurality, here, would be video chats in general. Meanwhile, a specific video chat – called a webinar – would be a system. And the people in a webinar would be the members of a system. Or, for another example, plurality would be education, a system would be a class, and the members of that system would be the students.)

Speaking of, beings who share a body – who are part of a system – are called many different terms. Two of the most common are "headmate" and "alter", although I also see "system member" a lot. I could say that my headmate was rather helpful today, or that my alter was fronting yesterday. Alter is more medical of a term, but it's more standard, especially in some other languages outside English.

But, wait, you might be wondering what fronting is! Well, since we all live in the same body, we've got to share control of it too, don't we? Fronting is what we call controlling the body, and switching is when we change who is in control. Some systems switch often, while others switch rarely, or only under certain circumstances, and some systems never switch at all. Switching may be involuntary, or it may be a voluntary skill a system has picked up. There's a lot of variety across systems.

Plurality is most often known in the context of DID, or Dissociative Identity Disorder, which often involves a lot of involuntary switches. P-DID, or Partial Dissociative Identity Disorder, meanwhile, involves very few switches, but these are likely to be involuntary, as well. There are other disorders that plurality may be a part or symptom of, but plurality can also exist as its own non-disordered state, so long as there's no attached or related issues causing problems for the system (ex. memory issues are another frequent problem in DID, and these memory issues come from the members of a system not remembering what the others did when those alters were fronting).

You may be wondering, how does this happen? How does someone become a system? There are many different ways. Sometimes, it's a part of someone's culture, religion, or spirituality. Sometimes, it's the brain's response to trauma, trying to protect itself. Sometimes, someone is simply born this way. Sometimes, someone may become a system out of the blue, or cause their own plurality somehow. Some systems have a multitude or mix of origins. Most studies on systems currently focus on systems that originate from trauma, as these systems most often have issues – including the trauma in question – that need to be looked into and addressed, but there are some budding studies into systems with other origins, such as the few current and ongoing studies on created systems (the aforementioned systems that cause their own plurality).

I'm simplifying some things here; identity such as this gets increasingly nuanced and personal as you learn more and more (for example, as said before, not all system members identify as individual persons, even if it can help understand them to think of them like individual persons that just happen to share a body). But I hope this helped you learn at least the basics about systems!

#thanks for the ask! #I'm leaving reblogs on for this one y'all better behave #and those of you who know a lot about s.ystems better read that last paragraph about simplifying things to make them understandable #before any of you start arguing

[eviebane]

There's so many emotions in the final Crowley & Aziraphale scene. It makes me feel sick.

Pacing, looking away. Panic. Crowley looks like he's going to have a panic attack, throw up then pass out.

Aziraphale looking outside, scared, worried. His eyes narrow at "We spent our existence pretending that we aren't."

Crowley barely holding it together, his body pulled taught like an elastic band about to snap. Constantly moving, keeps looking away. He's so vulnerable, raw. He doesn't know where he's going with this, get's a little side-tracked, "I mean, the last few years, not really."

This wasn't how he planned to talk to Aziraphale.

Now's the hard part...there's no going back after this, is there?

He can't even look at Aziraphale. He forces himself to. "And I would like to spend..." And then he meets eyes with Aziraphale for half a second, and he can't say it, completely looses the courage to look Aziraphale in the eye and tell him how he feels.

He turns away. He's so closed off, so frustrated at the whole situation.

He can't say how he feels, can't risk that rejection. So he turns it to something Aziraphale approved of, something he knows is safe. "If Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it, go off together-"

"Then we can."

Aziraphale narrows his eyes. He doesn't want to leave Earth, leave Heaven. The 'something terrible' is still to come, Gabriel warned him as much when he arrived in episode one. He's offering Crowley to return to when he was happiest; an angel, a star maker. A life where he wouldn't be watching over his shoulder for Hell like he's been the past few years. He wouldn't need insurance. He'd be safe. "To the world." How can they leave the world when they love it so much? What Crowley is offering isn't the answer.

"We don't need Heaven. We don't need Hell. They're toxic. We need to get away from them, just be an us." Aziraphale will never be able to turn and leave. Not after all they've been through. Not now.

"Come with me to Heaven. I'll run it, you can be my second in command." They never listened to you. They cast you out and it was wrong. I see so much goodness in you. We're a team, we've always worked well together, look how much we've achieved. If we ran Heaven, no one would be able to stop us. We'd be safe. We could make the world a better place, for us.

Aziraphale doesn't shake his head because he doesn't want to be together. He doesn't want to abandon the thing they love so much; the world.

But for Crowley, returning to Heaven is simply not an option. Not to him. He thinks that Aziraphale is being blind to what Heaven truly is, like always. He wants no part of Heaven. He wants to maintain the peaceful, fragile existence they have carved out for themselves, far away from Heaven and Hell. We'll never be safe as long as Heaven and Hell are involved.

C: "You can't leave this bookshop." Because I won't leave, angel.

If you leave this bookshop, you'd be leaving me.

"Nothing lasts forever."

This is a new chapter for us. I'll leave this bookshop behind because I know I'm doing the right thing for everyone, for us, by re-joining Heaven.

But at this point, their communication skills have sunken through the floor. They want the same thing but they want to achieve it differently.

Crowley cannot leave, and Aziraphale cannot stay.

Crowley realises this.

So...this is the end for us, isn't it? He knows there's nothing he can do to change Aziraphale's mind.

He's completely deflated, heartbroken, hopeless, defeated.

Crowley puts his defences back up.

Aziraphale watches nervously, tracking his face, trying to read him. He smiles a little.

Crowley puts on his sunglasses when they go outside. Crowley must've realised that nothing lasts forever and this is a new chapter, I mean he's reluctant but this is important so I'm sure he'll do it. Yes, that's it. He's decided to come with me and he needs to put his sunglasses on so we can go outside, to Heaven.

"Good luck."

Aziraphale is confused. What to do you mean "Good luck?".

Crowley is leaving and he calls after him. He thought he had Crowley figured out. He panics. He's read this all wrong.

Crowley is so tense, so guarded. He slowly, reluctantly turns around. He barely looks at Aziraphale, barely shows any hint of emotion, doesn't say anything.

All defences completely up.

Aziraphale tries again.

"Come back, to Heaven." No, that won't convince him, he's made it clear he doesn't care for Heaven anymore.

"Work with me." I'll be there, I'll keep you safe, we can implement all of your ideas and you'll never be punished for them again.

But it's still not working, not reaching Crowley.

"We can be together." I want that too, don't you see? Why don't you see?

He's desperate now, pleading. "I need you."

Nothing. Crowley remains motionless, silent, staring off.

Aziraphale provokes him for a response.

"I don't think you understand what I'm offering you." Why are you being so stubborn?! We'll be together, we'll be safe, we'll be happy. This deal is golden and you're refusing it.

Finally, Crowley turns back and says, "I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do."

You stupid, stupid angel. We'll never be safe in Heaven, and I can't be happy as an angel, not anymore. The deal sounds too good to be true because it is.

"Well." Aziraphale puts his defences up. Forces a smile but his eyes are full of heartbreak. "Then there's nothing more to say."

This reminds me of their argument when Gabriel first arrived.

A: "Very well. If you refuse to help me, then of course, you're at liberty to go."

C: "To go? Oh, right, this is how you want to do it?"

A: "No, I would love you to help me! I'm asking you to help me take care of him. But if you won't, you won't."

Aziraphale knows how stubborn Crowley can be. He had put his defences up then, slouched back in a chair and given up.

C: "Yeah, I won't." And Crowley had stormed out.

But Crowley did come back. He did the apology dance and he helped him and everything was ok and they were together as always.

So Aziraphale does it again now, puts his defences up, lets Crowley be all stubborn and storm off.

Crowley will come around, right? He always does.

And now, when Crowley storms out and the door opens again, Aziraphale assumes it'll be Crowley. He turns, barely holding back tears, and quickly turns away when he's realises. It's Metatron.

The whole conversation with Metatron, he's looking outside for Crowley. He's coming back, right?

But Crowley awaits him outside by the Bentley. He isn't convinced Aziraphale will leave and go to Heaven, has to see it with his own eyes.

Crowley still won't come to Heaven. Aziraphale has to, for the world. So he leaves on his own, without Crowley to help him.

That's ok, though. Crowley will come back and he'll help me. Crowley always does.

A: "We aren’t in danger. Crowley will be back in a moment. He will have a plan."

N: "What don’t you stand up for yourself? Make your own plan."

A: "Oh, I am. But rescuing me makes him so happy."

#aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens #aziracrow #goodomens #ineffable divorce #good omens 2 #gomens #gomens 2 #ineffable partners #ineffable dumbasses #ineffable boyfriends #ineffable fandom #ineffable spouses #ineffable idiots #long post

[bambinella]

Rumors pt 2

I recently made a post to address the ongoing situation, and I feel like I have to address it yet again, since it’s getting out of hand. 

First of all, I want to apologize to everyone that got involved in this mess, especially the tickle community. I’ve been part of this community for many years now, and I’m enraged by all the hate all of you are receiving by this anon. None of you should be in this situation, and I definitely want to get out of it. I’ve been trying to keep this wildfire contained, but anon is targeting literally anyone right now, be it people who follow me or people who’ve never heard of me before.

In my previous post I mentioned that I suspect ticklee25 to be behind the anon hate, but I didn’t specify or clarify why. Since I still think it’s her, I will explain my thoughts on the why. I’m aware that the messages are still anonymous, so I cannot say with 100% certainty that it’s her, but there are certain details I wish to address.

For starters, the anon hate started on the day I blocked her. ticklee25 and I chatted on discord for a while, and after she became rude, insulted me and my interests and started calling me several times in the middle of the night, knowing of our 5 hour difference, I removed her as a friend. The next day she reached out on tumblr asking me why, yet since I was out all day I hadn’t seen it so I didn’t respond. Then I came back to another message where she was gaslighting me into being a bad friend, which ended with ‘bye’. I removed her as a friend on tumblr too and simply deleted the conversation, since I thought that was gonna be the end of it. Alas, it was not. When she returned with yet another message to insult me some more, I blocked her. That’s when the hateful rumors started spreading. At the time I had no idea I'd have to take screenshots to collect proof, so this is all I have on this matter.

Secondly, some of the anon hate messages had my real name in it. Since my name is not on my tumblr page, you’ll only know my name if you either know me in real life or if we chatted. This indicates that the anon hate is being spread by someone I talked to before. I have no quarrel on tumblr with anyone else, so this points yet again in her direction. Seems a little too suspicious to me to be a coincidence.

The first anonymous message (as far as I know) was sent to my close friend @otomiyaa, which claimed that I was a pedophile. It quite frankly shocked me since I was not prepared for the anonymous hate. I naively thought it would stay with that simple message, and then I thought it would stay with otomiyaa. For a while it did, as she kept receiving several anonymous messages which insulted me. It went from me being a pedophile, to being fat and ugly, to being a shitty writer, which heavily reminded me of the last message I’d received from ticklee25. Then it started spreading to other people, since anon didn’t get the satisfaction of a reply. They first targeted everyone who interacted with me, and when those accounts defended me they moved on to people that don’t follow me and minors.

I have an entire list of rumors being spread about me, from very serious to simply stupid, but it sadly didn’t stay with just rumors. Anon here took it upon themselves to send anonymous messages warning everyone that I spread hate into the tickle community, only to send the hateful anonymous message themselves while tagging me in it. Most people instantly realized that it would be really stupid to send an anonymous message and tag yourself in it, so they knew it wasn’t actually me sending the messages. Here are some examples:

Another thing I have noticed is how, despite me blocking ticklee25, the anonymous hate continued being sent. Some argued that this was a good enough reason for me to change my mind, that it couldn’t be her. However, after looking into it I noticed how several blogs, who were reblogging hate about me, hadn’t even been up for 24 hours, or spammed within mere seconds of each other. Very suspicious again. Some of these blogs are lifeisstrangeenthusiast, swiftlyticklish and ticklelover5.

So, I simply want to clarify some things. I am not a pedophile. I have not been sending hate to people from the tickle community. I have not been sending hate towards minors. I have never forced someone to do something they’re uncomfortable with. I am not a groomer. I am not trying to steal your partner. There may be more rumors, but these are the ones I wanted to address. And to be perfectly clear, I am not the jesus anon.

If you get messages like these, please know that it’s not me. I literally have no reason to spread hate, and I don’t want to stoop to this level. Like I said before, I’m only here for fanart, fanfics and da gays. 

I turn myself directly to the anon now. I suspect you've created multiple accounts to keep spreading hateful messages, no matter how many times I’ve blocked you. You could have reached out to me and spared everyone the pain, but you wanted to cancel me so badly so instead you decided to make it everyone’s problem, even going as far as targeting minors. You’re pathetic. I’ve taken the next step, and unlike you I do have screenshots to back me up.

Lastly, I want to thank everyone who has backed me up over these past 6 weeks. You’ve all helped me more than you realize, and I love each and every one of you. I'm super grateful.

@otomiyaa @rach-amber @thebest-medicine @whatsjulietslastname @amazingmsme @turtlee-rockin @toweroftickles @wild-lee-ticklish @softleesam @fluffomatic @ticklerfluff @atlaslunacozycorner @a-ticklish-banshee @objectfromthesky @kaseylovesbayley @knizmokat @wheezylee-jay

Longest post of my life, but it had to happen. I hope we can end the bs now, because I'm honestly done with it.

Update: I didn't have to wait long, as suspected, until someone was getting pissy about my post. @ticklelover5 decided to spread screenshots of random conversation with ticklee25 before the drama started, which only confirmed my suspicions that they're the same account and same person. Thing is, all her replies somehow have mysteriously disappeared! Shocker. So it looks like I'm just talking to myself like a fool. And this somehow adds to her cancel campaign? Proving that I'm horrible because I was talking? I'm confused and pissed, but I kinda expected this when I made this post. I'll post them here too, so you can see what I'm talking about.

Not gonna lie, the fact that she's been blocked back in december and somehow still has my conversation is kind of sickening to me. The fact that it's my current pfp and not the one from my screenshot means she just screenshotted these to try and get some dirt on me. I'm glad I got out of this friendship just in time, and I would have left sooner if I knew the level of psycho I'd be dealing with.

#bambinella #I'm done with the rumors #please read #ticklelover5 being a pain in the ass

[radfemfyodor]

I don’t understand Liberals due to many reasons. One of them is believing that transphobia is comparable to actual bigotry.

For context, I shared my thoughts, that I feel like many, if not most people who are afraid of being accused of being terf are afraid not because they disagree with terfs, but because they fear harassment. As one of the examples I mentioned my own situation and how I was afraid to admit that I’m a RadFem, because I was too scared of how people (both in real life and online) would react to this information.

A Liberal obviously had to compare transphobia to actual bigotry, such as racism. “God, imagine if this person hated literally any other group based on any other dumbfuck reasoning” - Biology is a dumbfuck reasoning? I will try to explain my beliefs again, because Liberals water down my views to “Ugh I hate those troons! 😡 I hate them because I’m a hater and have no actual reasoning! 🤬”

Gender is a social construct based on stereotypes about women and men. Without stereotypes about women and men there is no gender and vice versa.

Let’s first look at trans women/transfems: Transfem to “validate” his “identity” will do activities usually associated with women such as wearing color pink, skirts, dresses, makeup, having long hair and doing nails. These activities don’t involve only physical appearance. Transfems often sexualize themselves on purpose, which isn’t only wearing revealing clothing. For example, many transfems like to use terms (mostly for female genitalia) from pornography, especially in their usernames. What I’m going to say now doesn’t specifically happen only in the transfem community, as it happens in transgender communities in general, but from my own experience it happens in transfem spaces more often - they defend pornography with their life, spread lies that Sex Work is “empowering”, their pages are full of pornographic content. If you tell them about the realities of Sex Work, they call you a swerf and bigot. Trans women’s/transfems’ “identifying” as women is in reality “identifying” with misogynistic stereotypes.

Now let’s look at trans men/transmascs: Transmasc to “validate” her “identity” will basically live comfortably in her body. She will stop shaving, wearing makeup, clothing that makes her uncomfortable such as short skirts and heels. There’s a high chance that she will cut her hair and not care about her clothing at all except the fact that it has to be comfortable to wear. Being “transmasc” is just not fitting patriarchal roles for women - trans men/transmasc are women who don’t fit into the patriarchal norms.

What I’m saying doesn’t come out of nowhere, I was a TRA for almost 4 years. All I have said comes from my and other people’s experiences. What I said about transfems is harsher and longer, because I’m tired of males “identifying” with our oppression, invading female only spaces which also leads to female only spaces getting removed. Almost no lesbian bars, because males who “identify” as women can go there and if you refuse to let them in, you are accused of bigotry. Males take part of women’s sports, which is unfair. Women and men are separated in sports due to differences in our biology. Males going to women’s restrooms and change rooms, often to harass women in these places, and if you don’t let them to go there, you are called a bigot. Notice how transmascs don’t invade male only spaces at all - transmasc don’t demand to go to men’s restrooms and change rooms, aren’t taking part in men’s sports either.

All these genders are just harmful stereotypes, making someone believe that they “were born in wrong body”. You weren’t “born in wrong body” because you don’t fit patriarchal gender norms. Liberals are convinced that I’m against gender, because I “hate” trans people and “I want them dead”. I’m against gender, because I want women to be “masculine” and men to “feminine” without them believing that there is something wrong with their bodies. I don’t want people to take hormones they shouldn’t and mutilate their reproductive organs, because they don’t fit stereotypes about their biological sex.

“Imagine if they were, say, racist and saying how hard it is to be a racist nowadays” How not denying biology is same as racism? HOW? Liberals have the weirdest comparisons, recently I got compared to HITLER… I don’t believe that transgender people aren’t humans, that they’re inferior, that they deserve to be assaulted and killed. Comparing me to actual bigots, because I’m aware that humans can’t change their biological sex is beyond crazy.

“No shit it’s hard and sad and annoying to be a hateful person, we don’t want that type of shit in society, It is unacceptable. It SHOULD be hard and make you afraid to be an out-and-proud bigot” I’m not a “hateful person”, I just don’t deny biology. It’s so… weird and stupid that nowadays being aware of the fact that women are adult human females and men are adult human males is bigotry. It’s regressive to deny these facts, accept them for your own good.

I’m not a “hateful” person, my “hate” is a genuine concern - I don’t want people to suffer mentally and physically, because they don’t fit patriarchal norms. Instead of encouraging people to take hormones they shouldn’t and mutilate their reproductive organs, let’s make them aware that it’s completely okay to not fit patriarchal stereotypes about their biological sex.

#gender critical #radblr #radical feminism #radical feminist safe #radical feminists do interact

[cypherthesuccubus]

Rekindle Our Spark~

Alastor x reader -Part 1- (NSFW) (MDNI)!!!!!

Warnings: smut, 18+, predator/prey, murder, S&M, bondage, knife play, blood kink, marking, cock worship, pussy worship, body worship, dom/sub, breath play, she/her pronouns, vaginal sex, breeding, creampie, rutting

Other tags: Fluff and Angst

Aftercare always!!!~✨

Welcome to another adventure, my darlings~ This is going to be an interesting one, so hopefully you stay tuned~ 😈✨(I hope you like the dedication art pieces I made for this fic 🥰✨)

-Prologue-

“I saw them go this way!!” shouted one of the men that were “on the hunt” sort of speak. The hunt for a prize that has regrettably ran away. Or in this case, their overdue payment. “UGH! Where did that bitch go?!? That stuck up prick, Alastor was hot on her heels!!!” The three men pointed their guns in each direction; listening for any running footsteps or twigs snapping. “Let’s split up and cover more ground.” They make their ways through the thick vegetation of the forest; trying their best to listen for any sign of life other than themselves. Unfortunately, they had to keep their flashlights off; as to catch their victim off guard more easily. 3 miles ahead of them; panting hard from the constant sprinting while almost on the verge of collapsing. This poor girl with tears blurring her vision; trips over one of the large above ground roots from a nearby tree. Hissing in pain as she rolls on her back, holding her knee from the intense stinging scape; thanks to the root. Her head then snaps to the right; hearing a couple of branches snap. Her breathing quickened as she shimmies her way the lean against the tree; hoping the roots would be enough to hide her long enough from her captor. She focuses on her surroundings; preparing to sprint again when things get too risky to stay. Another snap; this time closer. She places her hand over her mouth to quiet her heavy breathing; legs trembling from adrenaline and mild pain from running for so long.

She turns around the trunk; slowly to see if her captor is not too close by as to quietly book it without anyone noticing. Her eyes darted in every direction, but there was no one in sight. She takes a small sigh of relief as she whispers to herself “Ok, I think I’m safe for now.” She turns back to lean her head against the trunk, only to suddenly gasp as her whole body jumps in shock; pressing against the trunk out of fear. “Not quite, my dear.~” There was no escaping now; she had reached the end of her rope as tears flooded her eyes; streaming down her cheeks. “Please! Let me go! Please don’t take me ba-.” She was cut off as her captor grabs her restraints on her wrists; pulling them hard to make her fall flat on the ground. She turns her body to her side as she tries to shimmy away “You put up quite the chase, little doe.~ But I’m afraid our little cat and mouse game must come to an end. It’s a shame really.” She yelps as her captor pins her to the grassy floor; holding her tied wrists above her head as his waist rests between her thighs. “Things were getting fun for me.~” He pulls out a large hunting knife; placing it against her neck as he slightly cuts her skin; letting a small trail of blood leak down from the knife. “Please….please don’t hurt me…I’ll do anything! Just please, let me go.” The brown hair man chuckled at her offer “Oh my dear, I know you don’t have anything that’s of value to me….” He lightly drags his knife down her neck, until it reached the collar of her battered shirt. She shudders under the cold metal’s touch; trying to think of a way out of going back to those men. “Unless you can convince me otherwise, then your road ends here, darling.~”

She comes up with a conclusion, but she thinks it’s a very long shot due to who her captor is. Before all this, they did know each other due to having similar business partners. But never really had the chance to introduce themselves properly. Couple of her family members were involved in some underground stuff, thus leading to this predicament. Those family members owe a huge amount of money to the guys this man was involved with. Instead of paying, they offered her instead; saying she was worth more than the money, for she was never bedded. Her captor didn’t get involved with this transaction, until she ran out of the building and into the woods. The group of men then contacted her captor; knowing how much he loves a good hunt, thus him accepting the job. Now here she is; being pinned by him against the forest floor; at his mercy like a lion that caught the gazelle. She takes a deep breath as she musters the courage to offer her captor “I might not have anything of value on me….but maybe….something in me will be worth your while?” He arches an eye brow; tilting his head to side in confusion “What?” She looks at him very confused. Did he not know why these men were after her to begin with? “Did….did they not tell you why they want me back?” He shakes his head “Little details like that don’t matter to me, when it comes to “hunting.” It looks like she wasn’t the only one that’s always out of the loop when it comes to certain things too.

“Well….the reason they want me back is because….I’m a form of payment that has been overdue for the past 3 months.” He chuckles; using the tip of knife to tilt her chin up to look at her face “So your own flesh and blood decided you would be a better fit as payment?” She slowly nods; being careful not stab herself with his knife “They knew I was never wed nor courted before, so they thought having those men use me would work; unfortunately it did.” He hums as he takes a moment to scan her body; looking back up at her with a wide grin “Sooo….are you offering yourself for your freedom?” She gulps down hard; slowly nodding as she’s ashamed to go that low just for her to be free. He thinks about it for a bit; soon placing his knife back to the collar of her shirt “Well darling~, you did show an excellent display of the chase for me~…..” He starts to drag his knife into the fabric; slicing it down the middle as her torso is now exposed. The knife had left little knicks here and there, with small trickles of blood; slowly rolling down her stomach and sides. “Perhaps…..I can be the gentleman I am and….return the favor.~” He leans down to her stomach; dragging his tongue up along the knicks his knife made. She knew this man was her captor, and she should be afraid of him; not knowing what he was capable of doing to her. But this voice in the darkest corners of her mind, were screaming at her to give into him. Let him take her like the helpless prey she is. She shudders as he starts to suckle and lick the cut on her neck he made previously.

“M-mister~” she moaned breathlessly as she slightly shifts against her restraints and his hand. “Call me Alastor, my dear.~” She nods “Ok…Alastor….you can call me, (Y/N).” He then tilts her chin with the hand that still held the blade; giving her a hungry, sultry grin “It suits a timid little doe like yourself, darling.~” He begins to lean in; lips almost brushing each other, until faint yelling could be heard from the other men. Alastor turns to the sound; listening to how close they are to approaching their location. He turns back to (Y/N); seeing her giving pleading eyes as he smiles. “To be continued, my dear.~” He hastily takes his knife and slices through her restraints; quickly helping her up to her feet. “Run away now little doe…before I change my mind.~” She nods; thanking him as she takes off in the opposite direction from the faint yelling; disappearing into the vegetation. Alastor watches as she sprints away; eagerly wanting to chase her again, but restrained for he his a man of his word. Then before he could do anything else; his mind went instantly blank as he falls to the ground; blood now pooling around his head.

(Alastor’s P.O.V)

I wake up in a cold sweat; panting hard as I place my face in my palm; trying to collect myself from these flashbacks to that night of my death. This has been happening for 3 weeks now and it never seems to stop. Sometimes I skip sleep altogether to avoid having these flashback dreams. It’s been taking a huge toll on my health lately. I’ve been more irritable than usual around Charlie and the others. Charlie has even noticed the changes in my behavior, but of course I tell her I’m fine and it’s none of her concern. I need to fix these constant dreams from happening ever again. I need a solution! I might take a little walk to Cannibal Town; maybe Rosie might have some herbal remedies to help with this dreaming nuisance. I’ll head out in the morning before anyone has a chance to ask where I’m heading. I do have a reputation to keep after all.

#hazbin #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel oc #hazbin art #18+ content #18+ only #alastor x you #hazbin alastor #alastor x reader #alastor #oc art #my art #digital art #artwork #art #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x y/n #alastor smut #18+ account #18+ post #18+ blog #18+ mdni #hazbin smut #alastor x reader smut

[poetry-protest-pornography]

There's been a lot of "this character is so selfish" (mostly about Ray, but I already tried about that), and like. That's the point.

They're all selfish in their own way.

They're 22, they're all financially comfortable, they're emotionally illiterate.

Cheum and Mew have cast themselves as superior to the rest of their friends, and treat them all accordingly.

Cheum sees herself as a good friend, as a caretaker, as the one with their shit together; the rest of them are useless fuck ups. She can't even not complain about April-- who is basically perfect, because April wants validation for her movies, and Cheum doesn't get them, so she's annoyed at having to watch. She's constantly talking shit about her friends.

Mew thinks his not chasing sex and relationships makes him superior to his friends. He introduced them all in unflattering ways, while holding himself above them. He doesn't really see them as people, they're characters in his life, and that means he can't see them for who they are. And all this is before his revenge fantasy kicked off and he actively manipulated and used Ray.

Ray's addiction makes him selfish. He wants to be loved so he goes where he thinks he'll get it, even if it's not good for him. When you spend so much of your time trying to numb yourself, it's hard to see anything beyond that. He's still generous with his care and his money, but he doesn't share a lot of himself with most people in his life.

Sand let his need for revenge on Top drive him to do something that he knew would hurt Ray, and used Ray's feelings against him to do it. He lied to Nick and went through his phone.

Boston can't see much beyond his dick, and where his next orgasm is coming from, and even though he isn't particularly fond of anyone in his friend group, he plays the part while purposely doing things to hurt and work against them. He uses Nick's feelings to string him along so he has someone who will provide all the trappings of a relationship without having to commit to someone.

Nick went through Boston's phone multiple times, including before they knew each other for jerk off material. He was so focused on getting Boston to be his that he recorded him and Top, and then told Sand about it, which led to that whole confrontation -- Nick knew about Sand and Ray, and about Ray knowing Boston and Mew at this point, he had to know that that wasn't staying secret. Also, I think it's possible-to-likely that Nick is at least subconsciously manipulating Boston into moving his commitment line every time Nick mentions he might start seeing other people (a friend read this theory and I'm obsessed with it, going to rewatch with this in mind. If you're op of this idea, please lmk!)

Top... Top let petty jealousy over something that Boston-- who he doesn't trust -- told him happened convince him that having sex with Boston again was fine. And then he lied about it, and he consistently used the same "I win you lose" type of language about Mew that Boston does. (I know Top feels bad now, but I don't think he really realized that he loved Mew until Mew dumped him)

They're all dicks in certain ways and circumstances. They're all selfish and self involved and messy.

That's the show, friends. None of your faves are unproblematic. They've all got something that makes them sympathetic to varying degrees, too, but this is about a group of messy bitches who are struggling to keep themselves together, and to hold onto what appear to be the only relationships any of them have without destroying each other (which means lying, or hiding, or ignoring important things).

This is literally just a group of college kids, y'all. And they're here to hurt our feelings and entertain us.

(And maybe let's especially stop calling out the addict with mental health issues for being irredeemable and bad, eh?)

#only friends the series #only friends

[firestorm09890]

On Wuthering Heights and Canto VI (complete)

wow.

move over “Call me Ishmael” line, this is the Canto that most resembles its source book. We’ve got direct quotes! We’ve got scenes playing out like the original, beat for beat! I’m so glad I read Wuthering Heights beforehand, because unlike the previous ones where it just enhanced the experience a little (or even left me unsatisfied that they didn’t adapt certain things), I can’t imagine what it might’ve been like to not know everything in the book.

It’s kind of uncanny, actually, the extent to which things are similar. At the end of part 2 I was thinking about how there could’ve been a universe where the events of the book continued to stay the same if not for Erlking Heathcliff learning about the alternate worlds, and hey, after looking at so many universes of Catherine and Heathcliff making each other miserable, Dante (*edit: I wrote Cathy here first. I forgot it was Dante who saw it) found one where they’re happy together, both as ghosts, which! Is just the end of real actual Wuthering Heights!

We continued to have canon divergence in that way of "what if [character] had done something different?" which is always my favorite, even if some of it was just visions into a timeline where things were different. What if Heathcliff recognized he was just as bad as Hindley when it came to Hareton? What if Heathcliff and Cathy hadn't gone to spy on Thrushcross Grange that night? What if Heathcliff had stayed to listen to the rest of what Cathy had to say?

It's a tragedy, and Erlking Heathcliff, and our Heathcliff, and every other Heathcliff believed that it was the type where he was doomed from the start, because of who he is, and nothing can change that. But Dante knew that no, actually, it's a tragedy because of the choices that were made, and they can't be changed now, but you can change, and that's how you change your fate.

Individual characters

Not surprised Hindley distorted. I think this one had a lot more hate within him than the original

RIP Isabella Linton, I mean Isabella Edgar. She found someone who wasn't Heathcliff and her brother STILL stopped talking to her, and ended up being used by Erlking Heathcliff anyway

Speaking of Linton (Edgar). I don't have much to say because if I'm being honest I don't like him very much and everything he said was kinda overshadowed by his absolutely disgusting death. Catherine saying he looked like a prince out of a fairytale is very interesting considering how much he looks like the Black Swan guys

I'm sad Josephine died. It makes narrative sense but it would’ve been funny if she outlasted everyone else just like in the book

Cathy! There's a lot to say about Cathy but I'm not sure I can be the one to do it. I like her. I'm glad she was fucked up and we got our "everyone sucks here, you're perfect for each other, never involve anyone else in your business" but of course other people are getting involved because this is fucking Wuthering Heights

SPEAKING OF GETTING INVOLVED! NELLY!! I'm sooo glad they gave her the unreliable narrator trait, and managed to put the whole "burning letters" thing in there too. I'm also glad that when she did inevitably betray the team, she stayed exactly the same in personality. It's like she said herself, the happy moments in the past were real. I hope she stops associating with Hermann and goes to do something else with her life. Imagine finding out that in every universe you're wrapped up in Heathcliff and Cathy's bullshit

no Hareton or Catherine II, but Catherine I and Heathcliff did a fine job breaking the cycle themselves, I think.

there's probably more things to say about the Erlking and the Wild Hunt but I'm so tired

#limbus company #project moon #heathcliff #wuthering heights #canto vi spoilers #me post #i have soooo many more thoughts #but they don't really have to do with wuthering heights #meursault continues to be the greatest of all time #yeah

[jennamoran]

The Rats of the Far Roofs

Hi!

Today I'm going to talk a little bit more about my forthcoming RPG, the Far Roofs. More specifically, I want to talk about one of its key elements:

The rats.

So it's part of the story of this game that at some point, without that much fuss and bother, a bunch of talking rats sailed to your town and basically moved in. (Possibly by a far roofs waterway, if your home is landlocked.) Rats live fast, so if you're old enough, you might have been there for that first arrival, but they've been here for generations now.

They live mostly on the roofs.

They live, in short, between our mundane world below and the magical Far Roofs beyond, and accordingly they're a little magical, a bit idealized, but mostly just a kind of people.

I like rats, so they're mostly physically just rats. I figured they needed to be a fair bit larger to have practical presence, so they're about twice the normal length. I wanted them to be able to walk upright and use tools and wear clothes and things like that, so their spines and hands and voice boxes are a little different to allow those things. ... I'm not a biologist, though, so I won't do any kind of deep dive into those details.

What are they there for?

They add delight to the game.

They're a good source of exposition and guidance.

... but the most important structural thing they do is setting tone.

So the game is set in a world that's basically our own. It isn't until you get up onto the roofs that that really changes. In fact, going up onto the roofs isn't enough; you have to traverse them a while, you have to go from one roof to another until they begin to bleed together and the world starts to turn magic, before you get to the Far Roofs themselves.

In between, with the mundane world below them and the Far Roofs beyond them, you have the rooftop homes of the rats. For the rats, it's just a normal place, but for the humans, it's liminal. From the human perspective, the rats live pretty much directly between the mundane world and magic.

And that means that the rats are in a position, both physically and conceptually, to set the tone for the world beyond. To mediate the experience of magic and define the presentation of the Far Roofs.

I've said before that the mood of this game is based on those times when you're really changing things up in your life, new jobs, new homes, new people, whatever: times when everything is scary and hopeful and new.

And so the biggest thing the rats do in the game, like, as a game and story element, is take a magical hidden world that could easily drift into being horrific or pedestrian and actively, willfully code it as an adventure.

As a moving-forward in life, and in the world.

They're the ones who believe with a kind of relentless determination that both you, and they themselves, can handle the Far Roofs. That it's a place of wonder more than horror. That things can be okay, even if they're not okay right now.

The best half of the experience of changing your life, going outside your comfort zone, moving forward, whatever, is the people who make that change worthwhile, and that's what the rats are in this game to be. They're the people you're amazed sometimes that you were lucky enough to get to know, because you got involved in all of this. The people who're effortlessly competent in the new domain while you're still flailing and completely lost. The rats are there to be someone to laugh and delight with, amidst all the magic of the roofs.

Of course, they are also ... rats.

They live years, not decades. Their position in our world below is tenuous. They're very small.

It doesn't mean that they're wrong that things'll be okay, or anything. It doesn't mean they aren't fierce and smart and casually adept at facing the dangers of the roofs. Their hearts and courage are bigger than their bodies.

It's just a bit of perspective, is all.

They're rats. They're little, unimportant, and oft maligned. They're the kind of fantasy heroes, in short, who could be living and adventuring basically right next door (or, well, above), constantly struggling against apocalyptic horrors, and still have most people wave it off as exaggerated, or as not even real.

... those are, anyway, some of the things going on with the rats of the Far Roofs RPG, also known (after their first home) as the rats of Fortitude.

#the far roofs #jenna moran #rpgs

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can we get a sequel to the story of reader liking Pavitr, but Pavitr and Gayatri are happily together? Like Hobie or Gwen visit Pavitr and the reader meets them and they form a bond? romantic or platonic, reader just needs a buddy.

Thank you for everyone who wanted a part 2! Also this is kinda a long one so…I still hope you enjoy. 🦦

@sh-tposter2021 @thebiggestsimpoutthere @ii01vp

Part 1

It had been several weeks since you learnt of Pavitr and Gayatri’s relationship, and it’s been just as long since you’ve distanced yourself from Pavitr. While his absence was greatly felt and while there were times where you felt like being a hypocrite and run back to him, you had to remind yourself of why you were doing this in the first place; for the betterment of your own health and to remind yourself of who you were before ever meeting Pavitr because once upon a time there were chapters of your life that didn’t involve him.

You had to frequently remind yourself that you’ll be fine without Pavitr as he was seemingly fine without you now he had the prettiest girl in Mumbattan hanging off of his arm to fawn over, and all without having to take into account of how you felt about the public displays of affection that’d pierce your heart over. And over. And over again.

And yet while you’ve lead yourself to believe that Pavitr has seamlessly moved on without you, what you didn’t know was that Pavitr had been wanting you to meet his other friends, Hobie and Gwen, for a really long time now and even went as far as to set up the whole thing; only for it to come crushing down on him days later when you walked away from him with tears in your eyes and a forced smile. So when the day of your supposed get together came, Pavitr genuinely didn’t know what to tell Hobie and Gwen when he saw them. He didn’t want to send them away, that would be considered rude and disrespectful of the time that they had both set aside to be here, yet he didn’t want them to stay if you weren’t going to be there.

Fortunately and unfortunately for Pavitr, Gwen and Hobie could tell that during the period between their last visit to Mumbattan and now, something had to have happened for Pavitr’s demeanour to drastically change. ‘So where’s this y/n you’ve been talking our ear of about?’ Hobie asked, looking about the room as though you were going to pop out at them.

‘They’re not coming,’ Pavitr solemnly told them, ‘I’d like to think we’re still friends but it’s been so long since I’ve last seen them, that now…now I’m not so sure. I don’t want to loose my best fiend but I’m pretty certain they don’t want to talk to me.’ Pavitr then looked between his friends almost helplessly as he fiddles with the friendship bracelet that you made him out of habit. ‘All I wanna know is what I’ve done and how I can fix it.’ Gwen stepped forward and pressed a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder. ‘I’m sure they’re not mad at you Pav but I’m assuming they just wanted a little space to themselves.’ She told him but it didn’t seem to have helped at all.

‘We can go look for them and get the answer out of them that way?’ Hobbie said but before Pavitr could answer, he was reminded that he had a date with Gayatri later. The thought of his beautiful girlfriend made all his daily worries seep away from his mind as though she was the cleansing he required, there wasn’t a day where Pavitr didn’t count himself lucky in being able to date the most beautiful, amazing, most funniest girl; and he never fails to tells her every day how happy he was to be with her and be able to have the honour of calling her his. ‘Oh I can’t, I’ve got a date with my girlfriend Gayatri soon.’ Pavitr told Hobie.

‘Then how about me and Hobie go talk to them on your behalf?’ Gwen pitched.

‘But we don’t know where they’ll be right now.’ Hobie countered. ‘We’d waste the day away trying to look for them like we’re a bunch of headless chickens.’

‘We might not be on speaking terms but I do know where they’d like to be whenever they want to be left alone.’ Pavitr pipped up before telling the pair of the exact location before they parted ways; Hobie and Gwen to look for you whilst Pavitr went on his date with Gayatri.

Following Pavitr’s instructions, it didn’t take Hobie and Gwen long to find you sat on your lonesome upon a barren rooftop aside from a few weeds and bunches of moss that were growing up and through the cracks within the concrete. One look upon your worn out face told the pair that whatever happened between you and Pavitr took it’s toll on you a lot harder then it did Pavitr; not that they were saying that he wasn’t suffering but he had Gayatri, whereas you probably only had Pavitr to fall back on in times like this but now you probably had nobody. Both Hobie and Gwen were very familiar with the feeling of having nobody in your corner, so it was fairly easy for them to recognise the signs.

‘Is that them?’ Gwen asked Hobie, watching you as you looked out over the liveliness that filled the streets below with the vaguest look upon your face. Hobie shrugs, ‘must be, otherwise Pav wouldn’t have told us to come here if that weren’t the case.’

‘They look-‘

‘Lonely, yeah I agree.’ Hobie finished Gwen’s thought before he started moving towards you when Gwen called out to him. ‘What’re you doing?’ She asks and he looks back at her and said, ‘being a descent human being.’ Before continuing on his way towards you;only to be joined by Gwen not a moment later.

You weren’t fully aware of their presence until you felt Hobie seat himself at your left as Gwen seated herself at your right, but even even then you didn’t have it within you to remove yourself, the company of strangers felt nice to your aching soul because after all humans are social creatures that thrived off of having company. ‘Hey.’ Gwen said, catching your attention first. ‘Hi, I’m sorry but I don’t believe I’ve seen either of you here before.’ You told her, not wanting to come off as rude. ‘You’re right but we’re just paying our friend Pavitr a visit but he’s on a date right now and told us to come hang with you.’ Hobie answered and upon hearing Pavitr’s name, you tensed; Something both Hobie and Gwen both took notice.

‘If you’re here to get me into talking to him you can think again,’ you told them rather sternly, ‘I ain’t getting my heart broken twice.’ You added softer this time as you rested your head atop of your arms that were atop of your knees that you had tucked tight against your chest. ‘What did you mean by getting your heart broken twice?’ Gwen asked, looking over at Hobie who was already looking at her. You chuckled humourlessly as you felt tears once again well up in your eyes, you genuinely thought you were past crying over him but it seemed as though the wound your heart sustained was still bleeding. ‘I had a crush on him, Pavitr,’ you began, ‘but it was obvious that he liked Gayatri more and I don’t blame him, she’s gorgeous, funny, cool, sociable, smart and sweet. It just got to the point where being with him while he was still openly pinning after her was physically hurting me and I didn’t want to complicate things all because I can’t regulate my feelings.’ You finished, feeling slightly better to have finally let it out rather then inside like you had.

So this was the thing that happened between you and their friend. You liked him to the point where you selflessly removed yourself so that your feelings didn’t jeopardise his dream relationship with Gayatri but in the process, you cut yourself off from the only support you ever had in your life and now you were paying the price by suffering through all your emotions on your own. ‘I’m sorry, neither of you should have to be on the receiving end of my grievances.’ You said after a couple minutes of silence, but that soon came to an abrupt halt when Hobie slugged his arm over your shoulder and brought you into his side as Gwen reached out to hold your hand within her own. ‘Don’t ever say sorry for things that ain’t under your control,’ Hobie started, squeezing your shoulder, ‘and besides we’re the ones who asked about it in the first place. So don’t ever feel as though you have to apologise for everything, alright?’ You hummed in response.

‘Hobie’s right, I’m sorry that I made you brought this up.’ Gwen told you, just about to let go of your hand, but you were quick to tighten your hold in a silent plea for her to not go as you shot her a weak smile. ‘It’s not your fault,’ you told her, ‘it was bound to come up and if anything I’m glad you did because had you not I was beginning to get scared that it would come out at the wrong place at the wrong time. So instead I should be thanking you, both of you and I haven’t gotten either of your names yet.’

‘Oh right, well I’m Gwen Stacy,’ Gwen introduced herself before gesturing towards the lad who still had you coddled into his side, ‘and this is my friend Hobie Brown.’

‘Hi.’ You said tearfully as a smile beamed across your face.

‘Hiya yourself.’ Hobie replied as he wiped away some of your tears. ‘Despite crying you’re heart out, you still find it within you to smile. Now that’s a power I ain’t ever seen before and I find it admirable because it tells me that not only are you selfless but strong too.’ He adds and you couldn’t help but feel more tears arise to the surface, causing you to avert you gaze. ‘I’m sorry.’ You said weakly as Gwen felt her heart break for you as Hobie held onto you tighter whilst softly shushing you. ‘Please don’t ever apologise for having emotions.’ Gwen told you as an idea popped into her head as she adds on, ‘would you like to getaway with us? Do something to take your mind off of Pavitr?’ You looked at her before looking at Hobie who, in his mind, had already taken you under his wing and was on board with whatever Gwen had in mind.

‘Only if it’s alright with you guys, I don’t want to intrude on anythin-‘ before you could finish your sentence, Hobie had already begun to stand up before then proceeding to dragging you up along with him, whilst also managing in keeping you under his arm. ‘It’s too late, you’re apart of us now y/n, there is no such thing as intruding in anything when you’re with us.’ Hobie states as Gwen caught up with you two with a smile on her face, revealing her gap tooth as she nudged your side. ‘Your stuck with us now, how terrible is that?’ She joked and you couldn’t help but smile back at her, feeling deep inside that everything was going to be okay now that you had Hobie and Gwen. ‘Yeah, what a terrible fate I’ve been doomed to.’ You joked equally.

#atsv x reader #spiderman atsv imagines #atsv x you #spiderman: atsv #spiderman atsv x reader #spiderman atsv imagine #spiderman atsv x you #spiderman atsv fic #spiderman atsv #hobie brown atsv #spiderverse imagines #spiderverse imagine #spiderverse x reader #spiderverse x you #pavitr prabhakar imagines #pavitr prabhakar x reader #pavitr prabhakar x you #pavitr x reader #pavitr x you #gwen stacy x you #gwen stacy x reader #gwen stacy imagine #gwen stacy imagines #ghost spider x reader #spider gwen x reader #hobie x reader #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown imagines #hobie brown imagine #hobie brown x you