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loganscroftersstash · 11 months

Text

the eye of the storm.

platonic loceit/dlampr

—

hello gang

it has been… a while since i’ve written sanders sides content. i was into it for years before i dropped it and now i’ve picked it back up again. i forgot how much i loved this series. i’ve been rewatching it and remembered just how much i was so excited for the reveal of the super mysterious and spooky orange side, and i got a little pang of inspiration from the working through intrusive thoughts aside video. here is some really shitty angst/comfort; it’s been a while so my characterizations may be off, apologies in advance. and also my apologies for the spacing— i wrote this on docs and i didn’t realize the spacing would be so wide. sorry!!

scroll to v end for authors notes!

—

The date with Nico had gone so good! Thomas was reeling him in hook, line, and sinker; and Remus was able to be contained for the whole time! Sure, he had some moments, but nothing that none of them couldn’t handle. Now, as the sun set and shades of fuchsia and orange painted the sky above the exhibit, everyone decided it was time to go home.

The moment Thomas began to walk back all of the sides sank out, reappearing in his mind in an all too familiar routine. Remus was the only one absent for their outing, everyone else should have been here.

While Roman and Patton were happily reminiscing about the date, exchanging compliments and giggles, Virgil glanced around. He refused to glance in a certain serpent’s direction, but the room still felt empty.

Something was off.

Was it the coffee table? Couch? Maybe the blanket…?

Click.

“Where’s Logan?”

That seemed to break Roman and Patton from their conversation, and they both turned to look at Virgil.

“…Hey, yeah! Where’s our Logan?” Patton asked.

“Oh, who cares! He’s probably sulking because Thomas went out and had fun with the cutest frickin’ guy ever!” Roman proclaims, overly dramatic as always.

Patton puts his hands on his hips. “Now, Roman. Be nice to Logan! He was just trying to get Thomas to be productive— ya can’t argue the state of his home is a little…”

“Revolting?” Virgil finishes the sentence for him.

“I was gonna say icky, but that works too!” Patton grins at Virgil. “But anyway, don’t get mad at him for trying to help!”

“Pfft— help. Nerd.” Roman chuckles, earning a slight glare from Patton. “He could try to help by not getting in the way of our already non-existent love life!”

“You know, Patton’s right, Roman.” Janus murmurs from his corner. “Your twin gave him quite the bit of trouble today…”

Roman straightens his posture, almost defensive, as he glares at the slimy fiend. “What do you mean? What did that mangy mongrel do to him?”

Janus shrugs. “Oh. Nothing. I’m sure you wouldn’t care about that, Logan is just a speed bump on the road to love, and all that…” He says dismissively.

“Tell. Me.” Roman insists, moving closer towards Janus. “What did he do?”

Janus examines his glove, almost unbothered before he looks up at Roman. “Well…”

Roman glares. A silent message to get it the hell over with.

“When Thomas was up in the wee hours of the night, Logan and him decided on a new schedule. You know how those work out for Thomas.”

“Yeah. They don’t.” Roman murmured.

“Mhm. Usually it’s just because Thomas is more… spontaneous. Carefree, if you will. He likes to jump from task to task. Doing a list can be overwhelming, but Logan was just so dedicated to helping him stick to it. And poor Thomas even wanted to do it!…”

“…Jan. You lied, kiddo.”

“Whatever.” Janus shrugs. “Anyways. Remus decided to make Logan’s life a living hell by trying to kill or maim Thomas or Logan himself, but usually he ended up hurting himself.”

“Is that where the sparkly green eyepatch came from?!” Roman gasped.

“…Yes.” Janus murmured. “Anyways. Logan tried to reason with him and—”

“Is no one gonna ask why he knows all this?!” Virgil interjects.

Janus huffs. “Are ANY of you going to let me talk?!” He sighs. “And before you ask, I listen. To everything. Are there ANYMORE questions before I answer the first one?!”

Patton raises his hand for a moment before it shoots back down.

“Perfect. Great. Back to what I was saying… Logan confronted Remus after a few failed attempts and tried to reason with him, because this was one of the few times he’s actually gotten Thomas on a schedule and he tried to stick to it. So, you can tell why he’d be a little irritated about his incessant attempts at getting him off task.”

Roman raises a brow. “And…?”

“Logan screamed at him.”

“Oh.” Roman chuckles. “Yeah, he does that—”

“His eyes shone orange.”

A silence fell over the room. There was a silent, unspoken yet unified agreement that they all knew what that meant. And they knew it was bad.

Virgil was the first to break the silence. “…fuck.”

“…Did… Thomas? See? Do we have to have another confrontation so soon?!” Patton gasped.

“No. No he didn’t. Remus mocked him for the outburst almost instantly and as far as I’m aware, the interaction was over after that.”

“…What made Logan lose his cool that badly over something like that?” Roman hummed.

Janus rolled his eyes. “Oh, I don’t know. How about the fact that you all ignore him?”

“How dare you! I don’t ignore Mark Zucker-nerd; I just don’t listen to him!”

“…Roman. Buddy. That’s ignoring.”

Roman paused, looking down. “…so it is! But either way— we don’t ignore him, Janus. It isn’t my fault he never has anything helpful to add!”

“Oh, please. Logan is literally the embodiment of Logic. He’s resolved how many of these past issues? Logan does the most and gets the least reward, Roman. You have the most influence over our host, followed by Patton and Virgil. Maybe lately me and Remus have had a little fun taking the wheel every now and again— but when was the last time you let Logan make a big decision? You decided to skip the callback, you decided to go on the date. All Logan gets influence on is his little passion project, which he’s probably abandoned at this point because I seriously doubt there’s much passion left in him.”

Janus’ rant has left the other sides staring; Roman in disbelief, mostly at the audacity, Patton in shame, and Virgil in guilt. Deep down, they knew Janus was right.

“…Okay. Maybe I’ve been… a little… controlling.” Roman murmured.

“A lot.” Janus hummed.

Patton leans over to him, “Hey, Jan— kiddo. Small wins.”

“Right, Patton,” He whispers back, sighing. “Anyway. I suggest we try to make this up to Logan one way or another. After we make sure he’s alright.”

“I’m not checking on him. I love the guy, but if I step ten feet near conflict I’ll throw up and die.” Virgil mumbles, throwing his hood up.

“Logan doesn’t usually take comfort from me all that well. I think he finds it kinda patronizing…” Patton frowns. “But I’d be happy to try!”

“No, you're right… and he’d only think I was mocking him.” Roman murmured.

One by one, all their eyes drift to Janus.

“…You want me to go in there. Don’t you.”

“Well, yeah! You’re the most neutral with him! Logan doesn't know you super well and while I’m sure he didn’t appreciate your impersonating of him, I think you see eye to eye with him on a lotta stuff! That helps!” Patton grinned. “You might be the best candidate for this kinda thing.”

Virgil sighs. “….I can’t believe I’m agreeing with this… but yeah. Janus is the best candidate for this particular job…”

“…Of course. Fine. I’ll go check on him.” Janus huffs. He leaves his little corner in the shadows, brushing past the other three and making his way down the hallway. It doesn’t take him long to reach Logan’s door. Usually there’s light peeking from underneath the door, but that’s absent this time. Hmm…

Janus knocks three times.

Usually a “one moment” or a “come in” would follow. But there is silence.

Janus waits a moment, before knocking again, this time accompanying it with a “Logan? You alright?”

He’s met with silence again.

Janus sighs, placing his hand on the doorknob and twisting slowly. He pushes the door open, peeking in just a bit to get an idea of what he’s getting himself into.

The moment the door opens just a crack it’s blown open with immeasurable force, pulling Janus inside and slamming the door behind him. The room is barely a room anymore— more so a culmination of wind. Janus can make out a few objects— calendars with black and red marker scribbled over the dates, some books and some pages torn from them, blank sheets of paper, and a few pens and little knickknacks. Glancing around quickly, Janus realizes there’s a soft, barely there orange glow coming from the center of the room.

Fuck.

“Logan!” Janus calls, trying to push his way through but inevitably getting pushed back against the door. “Logan, let me in! I will help!”

There’s some sort of loud noise, but Janus can barely make it out throughout the pounding sound of wind against his ears.

Fine. Be difficult. It takes a lot of strength, and a lot of mental willpower, but he’s able to carve out a path directly into the eye of the storm. Janus heaves a bit as he walks, immediately taking note of Logan.

He’s… never seen the other so distressed. And honestly, it stings.

Logan is sat on the floor on his knees, hunched over and sobbing. Janus has never seen him cry, never heard it either. But this is just too much…

“…Logan?” He calls quietly, softly. Trying his best not to startle the other.

Said side looks up with a horrified gaze. His eyes gleam with amber tones and the best descriptor Janus has at the moment is overwhelmed.

“Calm down, calm down.” Janus shushes, kneeling to Logan’s level. Instinctively, Logan tries to back away, and Janus lets him. He gives Logan his space. “Deep breaths. Breathe…”

And he tries. All he can manage is panicked and shaky short breaths that can’t be delivering much air to his brain. Janus could see this plain as day. “Logan. Think you’re stable enough to talk?”

Logan glances up and after a moment's hesitation, he nods quickly.

“Five things you can see. Can you do that for me?”

Logan glances around quickly. “Books.” He murmurs, almost rapid as he speaks. “…Calendar. Marker. Pen…” He looks around again. “Cube.”

“Alright. Good. Four things you can feel?”

“…Clothes. Glasses.” His tone is almost robotic, despite it being watery. “Wind… and… and… and the floor.”

Janus can see and feel the wind slowing, even if just a little bit.

“Good. How about three things you can hear?”

“You. Me. Wind.”

“Almost done. Two things you can smell?”

“Um…” Logan panics again. Another question he can’t answer. Of course. “Cologne? Maybe… and… and…”

“Focus, Logan. You’re okay. It’s okay.”

“…Ink.”

“Good. Last one. One thing you can taste.”

“Salt…”

The wind slows to a stop. All the objects fall from where they were propelled. They could deal with that later.

“See? You’re okay. It’s okay.”

Logan looks up, eyes still watery and overflowing with tears. He’s shaking. The word that comes to Janus’ mind is helpless. He knows it’d make Logan worse so he decides to keep that thought inside.

“Now. Would you like to talk about this?”

“I don’t know how!” His tone is surprisingly aggressive, but it doesn’t seem like Logan. It’s out of character for him. He’s crumbling. “I don’t know how to… to talk about this! I’ve never— I’ve never felt so… so…”

“Breathe, Logan.” Janus offers. “It’s alright. Just—”

“LET ME TALK.” Logan shouts; the ferocity of the moment is only comparable to earlier when Remus had pushed too far.

And Janus falls silent. He doesn’t take it personally. He knows it isn’t— Logan is just so overcome with it all he’s lost control. He knows just how bad they can be.

And Logan realizes just what he’s done a moment after, and he falls back into helpless sobs, curling around himself. He feels so fucking awful. Not only is he useless, but he’s an asshole too. Another flaw to add to the ever growing list.

“Logan, I know you’re overwhelmed…” Janus reaches a hand out to touch, but he hesitates, and quickly lets it fall back to his side. “Tell me what’s going on. What’s got you so upset?”

Logan hesitates speaking, before he sobs out his words, “I’m so awful, Janus…”

“If this is about today, you’re not. Remus is especially heinous and you know that—”

“It isn’t just today!” He shouts. “It’s getting harder and harder to do my job and get through to him— I-I’m not good enough, Janus. I can’t do anything anymore! I used to be able to… to do everything, and it was fine. My calendars were in perfect order, I kept the others in check while maintaining a balance— I wasn’t a fucking emotional wreck!” Logan sobs, looking up at Janus desperately. “I’m useless. I can’t— I’m not—”

“Logan. You’re magnetizing.” Janus murmurs.

“Magnifying.” He corrects.

“See? You’re still capable of doing your job. And you still do your job just fine.” Janus puts a gentle hand on his shoulder, smoothing over the wrinkled shirt. “Everyone’s been in chaos these last few months… and that’s partly me and Remus’ fault. We haven’t been easy adjustments.” He sighed. “But,” And he holds up his finger with a dramatic pause, “You of all people have been the most versatile. You put forth your best effort Logan— more so than the other sides have. You know that.”

“But my best isn’t good enough.”

“It is. It is. You don’t believe it is, but it is.” Janus assures. “It isn’t your fault you’re getting overshadowed.”

“Perhaps if my methods were different, if my tactics were better—”

“Shhh.” Janus presses his finger to Logan’s lips, effectively silencing him momentarily.

“Logan. You’re doing nothing wrong.”

“Then why am I getting ignored?”

Janus didn’t have an answer immediately. And he could tell that upset Logan even further, despite the fact he was trying to conceal his tears.

“I don’t know, Logan. I’m sorry.” He sighed. “But I’ll never ignore you. You know that, right?”

He sniffles, nodding.

“…Do you want a hug?”

Logan hesitates for a long moment, as if weighing the pros and cons. Potential comfort and warmth, but also a huge dent in his reputation.

This was a pretty big dent too. Fuck it.

“…Please.”

Janus wraps his arms around Logan, hugging him tightly. “You’re alright. It’s alright..” He murmurs. “You’re okay.”

While Logan quietly cried into Janus’ shoulder, the scaly of the two silently wills the objects back into their places. He doesn’t need Logan even more stressed.

“Do you feel better?”

Logan nods, swallowing thickly. His throat feels scratchy…

“…I don’t think I’ve ever felt those… those feelings so… intensely.” He cringes at the word; it feels sticky and wrong on his tongue.

“I know… but it’s all over now. You’re calmer. Your room isn’t a tornado.”

Logan blinks, glancing up. “Oh. I was…” He looks around quickly. “Everything is in its place…?”

“I put it back. I know mess overwhelms you.”

Logan can’t help the microscopic smile.

“Thank you, Janus… I… apologize for all this.”

“Don’t mention it. It was out of your control. Now,” He pulls away slightly. “Do you need me to stay? I’m more than happy to.”

Logan thinks for a moment, and then shakes his head. “No. I believe some time alone would benefit me. I need to ‘recharge,’ if you will.”

Janus stands and makes his way to the door. “Alright. If you need anything else, you know where my room is.”

“I do. Again, thank you.”

“No worries, Logan. That’s what friends are for.”

—

(i wrote these authors notes as i wrote the story; i didn’t wanna stick them in as i wrote so i put them all at the end.)

authors note: i forgot how vividly i imagined their headspace; even down to the order of the doors. in case you’re wondering, the hallway of their rooms (which you enter from the right side) goes from left to right as such: virgil, logan, roman, and patton. the dark sides have their own separate wing (because of course they do)

authors note 2: i feel like sides have a lot more willpower and control in the headspace than we originally think— and the dark sides seem to be more powerful than the core 4 so they have an easier time doing stuff like that. obviously since deceit can transform into any of the sides— which i feel like the other sides can do but choose not to?? if they can become thomas’ friends they should be able to transform into each other,,— and remus can summon objects outside of the mind palace and headspace— we’ve seen other sides with fidgets or swords or little caps but never anything like super big i don’t think? it’s been a while hah

authors note 3: i’m trying to make up some shit about the orange side while also keeping it vague so it’s not too specific. mostly cause i want this to be logan centric but also i want this to have the best chance at holding up after he is revealed

authors note 4: logan may be the logic side but he is also the autism side

authors note 5: this just became a loceit fic but i’m not even mad. logan x anyone supremacy

authors note 6: this just became a self projection fic but i’m not even mad. logan x self projection supremacy

authors note 7: i didn’t know how to end this so have some weird janus and logan

okay hi!! finally done writing. got this done in like… two hours shockingly. i speed ran this fr

no beta read we die like men.

reblog if you enjoyed!!

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