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hailsatanacab · 6 months

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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

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asterwild · 2 months

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behold: bears

#id in alt #illustration #wildlife #animals #bears #still working on the text for the mini zine version #hoping to have that for patrons later this week + will do a flip-through video and put it in my ko-fi shop for everyone eventually #sizes aren't quite accurate in comparison to one another #but they should be more or less correct as far as being largest to smallest. sun bears are real small and polar bears are real big #& sorry if there is a Best Practice in terms of the order the names are written i did what felt right !!

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sluttyquarantinetheory · 4 months

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By the time you actually reach Baldur's Gate it feels like you've domesticated most of your companions. Except Astarion who is much like a feral chihuahua you found in a field and he'll bite your shins if you forget to give him a treat. And then you enter a magic shop and as you're leaving you suddenly learn your wizard has been picking up bad habits from the chihuahua this entire time.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale of waterdeep #astarion #bg3 spoilers #not to mention your bear getting kidnapped right before you go fuck the squid face who speaks to you inside your mind

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radiance1 · 2 months

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Another link to this post. Meet the parents style.

So, Danny and Jason have been fake dating for a while now, and ended up marrying each other solely for tax benefits. Also, they got cool ass fucking friendship rings that they just couldn't not wear everywhere and being married is convenient so...

Anywho, so Jason has met Danny's parents but Danny hasn't met Jason's parents. Danny knows that he has some ties with the vigilantee scene due to being a Crime Lord-he still doesn't know what to think of his parents connecting the dots immediately when they only met him once while it took him more than that while living with the guy.

He thinks Jason may have been an ex-vigilantee at some point before turning to crime.

Then Danny gets blinded by rich people aura when he finds out that his bestfriend is the long thought dead child of Bruce Wayne. Frankly, he's insulted.

You mean to tell him that his could've been buying ice cream from that high class place all this time!? He shook (literally he grabbed and shook him) that point into Jason, he doesn't care that Jason never told him he was rich but he could've at least bought some high class ice cream once in a while.

Jason who was busy solidifying his power as a crime lord, avoiding his family and making sure not to leak his identity at all: I'm a literal crime lord, and the only thing you care about is me not buying you ice cream?

Danny: YES!!!!

Jason: Dork.

Right anyways, so Jason takes Danny along to meet Bruce and his fam but did say as soon as he started being uncomfortable they're leaving. The batfam is a bit blindsided by Danny, because they thought Jason was bringing his partner but its good to also get a feel for Danny's personality.

Danny and Jason did what's normal for them when Danny starts getting comfortable around the manor full of things that cost waaay more than his rent. Like half-heartedly insulting each other, being snarky, leaning on each other and other such things.

The batfam start thinking that there's more there than they know of. So they start watching a bit closer and ask a few round about questions that fly over Danny and Jason's heads. They just forget they're married often, unless it's regarding taxes.

All of this sends the wrong message when they walk into the same room and, being nosy, one of the batfam comes up to the door and uh. They hear the bed moving quite a lot.

So.

Meanwhile, Jason is trying to wrestle with Danny because this man does not pick a lane. He'll either be the human octopus (who is cold as hell) Jason has ever seen, he'll try to kick him off the bed in his sleep as if Jason personally offended him in some way, or he'll sleep in some wacky position that interrupts Jason's sleep. The last one is tied to the other two, however.

So, Jason has to frequently wrestle this man into a proper position where they both manage to get some sleep and it wouldn't have been so bad if Danny wasn't a goddamn sleep fighter. He would know, he had to nurse a bruised jaw for a few weeks.

Why do they sleep together? Listen, when you're in an apartment with not a lot of money, you gotta cut costs where you can alright?

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #Danny and Jason are platonically married #I'm not gonna put this in the post but I had a random thought of Jack and Maddie meeting Bruce Wayne and they instantly clock him as Batman #It's not even Maddie #Jack just took one look at him and sniffed out something sus until his himbo brain connects the dots to him being Batman #The thing is they managed to find this out with barely any evidence so they think they might be wrong without knowing that they're actually #right #Anyways #Jason is tired of this mfer Danny and how he sleeps #Every time they go to bed Jason walks into their shared bedroom like he's about to wrestle a fucking bear #The batfam think they be fawking but they actually aren't it's just Jason wrestling to get a good night's sleep #Why did I make this?#I have no clue

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ruporas · 10 months

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thinking about wolfwood (ID in alt text)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #from awhile ago! i forgot to upload it here i think #i realized looking back at this. wolfwood has shrunk even more. DFGMKSGMS im sorry everyone has to bear with that. short woowoo #is engrained into my bones.... but anyway. im a big fan of vash yearning if that was not obvious from my previous comics.#not to say wolfwood doesnt do the same ofc... but im just thinking about vash's layers of repression in emotions and how he holds it #all together for the most part.... and when he yearns it's not like a dopey lovesick smile or anything. his cheeks are red but he's all “:(#bc he's Shy about it. and troubled by how much he's thinking about ww. but he can't help it and even less so when ww is right there #it's a very honest expression from someone like vash i think. and wolfwood can start to tell when he's faced with it and in turn #also gets embarrassed . silly the both of them #ruporas art

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wylanslcve · 11 months

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I'm not leaving 2023 without the knowledge that one day I'll see them fall through a ceiling together.

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puppetmaster13u · 3 months

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Prompt 177

Now Dan is no coward. He’s not.

But this stupid child body does have an effect on his reactions to things and honestly it’s a horrible thing that’s too small and too weak for him to use all his abilities. He could barely manage a fireball if he concentrated, yet everything caught fire with a mere outburst! His control was utterly gone, and a tantrum resulted in having to wear a stupid child leash backpack.

It wasn’t like he was really a child, and it wasn’t like he’d get lost or some stupid shit that Danny would insist. Ugh, this isn’t even fair, technically he was older than him yet was stuck in a smaller body that he kept tripping over!

Urgh, he’s even insisting on rewarding ‘good behavior’ and shit- must have talked to Jazz or something- because… Oh. No he wants the constellation bear, give! His star bear now, no takes back and, urgh, stupid baby body!

Well, on the other hand, it’s utterly hilarious how much Danny sputters whenever he calls him Mom, not to mention strangers’ utter befuddlement. He ignores how Danny seems to be trying his best to live up ro the title.

But! As he was saying, he’s no coward! He’s also not an idiot though, and having no control over his powers isn’t exactly a good thing. It’s really not a good thing when there’s a murderous-looking hero that he thinks he might have maimed in the future- which they apparently remember- staring down at him. So, he has to call in the big guns to fix this.

“Mom, there’s a creepy fruitloop staring at me!” “There’s WHAT?!” Hah. Take that hero he doesn’t remember the name of.

(Behold the Grumpiest of Babies)

#Dcxdp #Dpxdc #Prompts #dp x marvel #Who is the hero who went back in time to stop the Dan situation? Who knows #Dan who is just a lil guy right now: FOOL you have fallen into my trap #6ft+ Mother Bear Danny who is always down to fight:#I need you to know he is not a tank #He still looks thin and a stick it is just a very tall stick with fangs and claws and enough anger to fight god #and win #Jordan (Dan) is like 8 at most and giving the time traveler the most bloodthirsty smile ever before Danny slams into them at full speed #Someone is going to see the hero get yeeted #Dan is going to throw a fit when Danny reattaches the child leash since he wandered off #Vlad is semi redeemed but not mentally well enough to deal with a child #Especially Dan who knows how to push All of his Buttons and rip him apart emotionally mentally and physically

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theraddestpotato21 · 2 years

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tiredcowboyy · 4 months

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I hate when people (usually men on reddit) are like “if you met arthur back then he would murder you for breathing in his existence!” Oh would he? When? Before or after he’s finished doodling bunnies and flowers?

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canisalbus · 1 year

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Haeresis

#own art #own characters #CanisAlbus #Machete #art #artists on tumblr #anthro #sighthound #dogs #canine #animals #sorry it's all machete right now #this year has been very slow and uneventful in the art department #haven't gotten much of anything done #maybe it's mental health maybe it's artblock #finally feeling like drawing again and oc stuff is always funniest to make #trying to get back in the groove bear with me

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deelovesbooks · 6 months

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ko-fi

#burrow's end #burrow's end spoilers #d20 #dimension 20 #lmao this came to me while in the shower #and is honestly a fairly accurate representation of my expression after that first episode #like 'what do you meeeaaannn the show with the ominous title isnt just gonna be a heartfelt stoat season'#lmao when we first learned of the season and some people were all 'well is d&d 5e really the right system for this?#theyre cute animals theyre probably not even gonna be battles there are better systems suited for just cozy animal ttrpg'#how are u feeling after that fucking bear in ep 2 eh? 😂#have trust and faith in Aabria #theres still 8 fucking episodes to go this is gonna be crazy #i am prepared for the emotional turmoil it will cause in me #my textposts

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willowser · 1 month

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you and bakugou getting paired up on one of those intense survival-y gameshows and he gets so mad at himself for thinking about you in some ooey-gooey way when he's supposed to be there to WIN

#hi i just woke up #i had a really uncomfortable dream with snakes and spiders and bears and traveling through a desert ruin #HARDDDDD nap #anyway he makes it half the season with his head on right and his focus straight #but then he starts to get a lil comfortable and his mind starts to wander 🥺#bakugou on reality tv my beloved #✿ thoughts: bakugou

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baileyjayy1 · 17 days

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If I unveil this present 🎁 will you suck it?🍆

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recycledraccoon · 5 months

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Burrows End is SO SO good and Aabria is such a master of story telling. This season, despite being genuine DnD vs other systems Aabria has used, hasn't actually seen all that much full blown combat. Like, of course they've fought things throughout, but it's been so much more information hunting and puzzling together all the lore. But this obviously means those scenes we do have such full blown COMBAT with sets so much more important, which was obvious in the reactor....but the bear....so obviously it's been focused on in reference to Tula's reveal, or as a show of how fucked up biology wise this world they live in is and how dangerous it is in the forest.

But it's also Aabria laying such incredibly subtle groundwork. It's showing us "this is possible in this world. This happens. They can get inside of you, burrow into you, and you will be their walking warren. Parasite and host intertwined."

And then we move on...we focus on the secrets of the first stoats and learning of all these human things, and the chipmunks and bear are just fun tidbits to throwback to about how scary and fucked up things are, but no longer relevant.

Last week we heard those tapes, and I thought "that voice change there...the 'they're so sneaky'...was that a first stoat, who we only heard as squeaks, instead speaking through Dr. Wenabocker as he died?"

And I forgot about the bear too.

But the SECOND it was revealed that Wenabocker left, that his body was gone and that Phoebe left too? It all clicked.

The Bear wasn't just a fun, really cool fucked up battle set for an episode, it was incredibly important foreshadowing. The foundation, the trap, the big bad all at once hidden behind a cool, fucked up bear in the second goddamn episode of the season.

#hitting us again and again with “things will die and things will bring you back to life and things will be inside of you keeping you alive”#wenabocker isnt dead #but if any part of him is cognizant enough to know what's happening i bet he wishes he was #wenabocker is the bear and i bet the only way to kill phoebe is to stop his heart and kill him just like they did in ep. 2 #aabria my beloved #ive been strolling in this vivid story-forest you made us and walked right into your bear trap #dimension 20 #d20 spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers #burrows end #d20 burrow's end #burrows end spoilers #d20 burrow's end spoilers #burrow's end #burrow's end spoilers

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beartitled · 4 months

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❗️Potential spoilers for Slay the princess?

Slay the princess characters ✨

Anyway I liked the game a lot and decided to draw da characters