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viperwhispered · 23 days

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Too Hard

Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.

The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.

What a stupid thought to have because of you.

Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.

So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.

“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.

Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.

On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.

Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”

Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.

His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.

Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.

After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.

If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.

The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!

For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.

After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.

Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.

Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?

Could you possibly-

Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.

He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-

Jamil froze in his tracks.

The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.

Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.

Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.

Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.

Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?

Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.

What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?

Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.

He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.

Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.

“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.

“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.

As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.

And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.

Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.

All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.

“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.

Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.

Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?

Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.

Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.

“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.

Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.

“Hmm. Maybe he will.”

Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?

Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.

How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?

“You know-”

“So-”

You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.

Even your surprised look was so-

“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.

“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.

“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”

He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.

“No. It is not.”

You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.

Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?

“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.

“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.

Wait.

Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?

The thought twisted his stomach into knots.

Eta: you can find part 3 here. Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper x reader #ner writes #jamil definitely knows how to deal with his feels #also writing this is making me wonder how aware jamil is of his inner versus outer life #like he’s very aware of how he comes across because that’s what he’s been told to watch out for #but how well has he truly learned to understand himself and his own feelings wants etc?#(I mean as you can tell I’m assuming not very well)#originally this went to more of a “jamil hears just the wrong part of the conversation” route but #a) I kinda hate that trope especially when it’s dragged on beyond belief and #b) Kalim maybe doesn’t want to spill anyone’s secrets but he really is such an open book especially with Jamil so #also it’s not like jamil needs the extra help to catastrophize he already does that well enough on his own 🙃#tho then I went a little too far in the other direction and had to pull back #but let's just hope I didn't edit this to death by now #also also: since I seem to have a bit of a naming theme going on for this series #if I were to be the sort to go for the angst route what part would definitely be titled Too Late or something along those lines #also x3 but loved folks commenting on that part about reader being inoffensive in the first part #I certainly had fun writing that line #(and in general extra love to everyone who leaves comments on tags replies wherever always great to read those)#(and in general chat with y'all)

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mazojo · 1 year

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Anyways XO Kitty love interests summarized

Dae

Min Ho

Yuri

#I finished it guys I have thoughts #pleasantly…. surprised I actually enjoyed it a lot?#like don’t get me wrong it was very cringe fail at times but in like an affectionate way in like an aw high school affectionate #bet y’all can’t tell by this post which my favorite LI was I bet y’all can’t guess take a guess #ranking wise Yuri>Min Ho>Dae #I am so sorry Dae is so aksjskw boringgg and like not even because he is a nice guy I love nice guys #he just didn’t have any personality whatsoever apart from chasing Kitty around and saying I can explain #they could have swelled more into him being a family guy but they just kinda didn’t and it was very meh overall #like min ho was an ass but kinda funny at times and had a whole character arc #yuri had a whole development too going full circle and growing as she faced different situations in the series #dae I feel like he started the same way he finished and I guess that makes sense for the plot showing Kitty needs something else but defo #makes him the weakest li. no criticism taken btw #SHUT ME UP ITS 4 AM AND I AM PSYCHOANALYSING A KIDS SHOW AKSJWKKW therapeutic #xo kitty #I hope this doesn’t offend anyone lol all /lh #dae #min ho #yuri

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yuttikkele · 16 days

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if anyone was wondering, damijon in my mind is:

10-year-old Jon develops a little crush on the older Damian. Jon age-up happens, it’s been like 6 years now, he does NOT have a crush on Damian anymore. BUT, Damian starts to see Jon in a new light. Damian develops feelings for him without knowing, and he falls HARD. Damian doesn’t realize that what he feels for Jon is love for the LONGEST time. He gets to wait even longer, though, cause Damian has to live with these feelings for the rest of his life!! Yay!!!

#so basically it’s Jon falls first Damian falls harder except Jon is not really in love with Damian #mayhaps he falls in love later tho as adults you never know. But for now it is sad unrequited angst #Damian does not tell Jon how he feels he keeps it inside for as long as he possibly can. Which is a long time for Damian.#also Damian just doesn’t fall for anyone else cause he’s demi #“they call me the angst machine” - yutti who has never been able to make more than an ounce of angst #dc #damijon #jondami #jonathan kent #damian wayne #i really like Damian Wayne can you tell?#ack #text post

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hellt00th · 10 months

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Man. You know what I appreciate about Garrus? He isn’t audibly horrified by the marauders the way Liara is by the banshees and he IS upset about Palaven but again, not in the way Liara was about Thessia. Her reactions can kinda be a slap in the face towards a grieving Shepard who saw her world burn, Palaven burn, and then Thessia burn. I don’t think a paragon shep would necessarily say anything bc yeah the war is finally real for Liara now but damn girl. Where the fuck was that horror and disbelief when Shepard or Garrus were seeing their own kind turned into horrific monsters and sent after them?

#I love Liara don’t get me wrong #but her reactions to the reapers attacking asari kinda pissed me off and definitely pissed my Shepard off #it feels like she doesn’t see anyone but asari as people #mass effect

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hyperfixationtimego · 4 months

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1998’s Gus the theatre cat is so so painful for me and I can’t praise it enough for that. like - the shaking, the aimless wandering…., his vision of the past that nobody else can see, that he’s chasing in such a confused way because it’s the only thing that feels familiar,,,,,,,,,,the frailty of the voice, the way he cries into Jellylorum’s chest, the tangible sense of grief !!!!!! and the way Old Deuteronomy encourages the other Jellicles to show him both affection and respect, honoring him for the life he’s lived………. I don’t think I can ever be normal about this sorry!!!!

#not going to go too deep into it but like. for anyone who’s ever experienced caring for a loved one with dementia it just hits SO different.#and there’s almost like this sense of…….detachment from Jellylorum. like she doesn’t GET it and that just feels SO real.#and the way Deuteronomy treats him is so very peerlike like he KNOWS who Gus was for real & is just trying his best to be there for him now #just the deep sense of respect he harbors for him shown in the gentle way he guides him is just the most painful in the world!!!!!!! it #it’s so important to me #cats the musical #cats 1998 #gus the theatre cat #jellylorum #old deuteronomy

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fumifooms · 4 months

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I think some inherent comfort of the party’s relationship, of why they’re so tightly knit and wholesome, is that it’s kinda the embodiment of "people that care for each other unconditionally, so much so that you could be the biggest freak on Earth and they would still not turn their back to you". Like, Laios’ whole character arc is that he was scared of others and their judgement, that he should hide a big part of himself and his interests to be tolerated if not accepted… But showing himself to others was the road through which the party bonded and got closer, and by the end of the story Laios literally turns into his monster because it was his biggest wish and everyone sees it and also he eats his human body a lot. After that he runs to the woods and is so scared of everyone not wanting to see him again, but y’know what. It’s fine his party still loves him, and aghhhh ouch my heart

I think also, Izutsumi was central to the party having a found family feel. The party was mostly made of work colleagues acquaintances, but adopting a stray/teenager that has no one on the way in your grand adventure really makes the whole family vibe skyrocket.

#Laios is kinda that “be so authentically yourself that it inspires others” thing #Dungeon meshi manga spoilers #SPOILERS #Dungeon meshi #The new year drafts purge #But yeah like. Be a little too ready to do necromancy? Y’know we don’t LIKE it but. It’s okay we’ll stick by ya.#Bro you CHEATED on your wife?? I am giving you the death stare forevermore but like I still care about you I’ll be worried if a horse break #Your arm. Oh you lied bc not knowing why she left you makes you feel foolish? HUH. Anyways I’m going to shower you in optimism #Sorry marchil possessed me again #If you’re a nasty cat teen who introduced yourself to everyone by threatening murder with a knife and doesn’t respect anyone or anything #… Sigh ok you can still snuggle with me in bed.#The ‘I will not eat any monster no I refuse’ to ‘asking a kingdom’s worth of people to indirectly eat your friend’s sister’ pipeline real #The pipeline is understanding and good faith and unity and love #meta

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raisinushigher · 3 months

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am i just so far gone with these two that i can barely correctly comprehend anything they do toward eachother as normal casual interaction anymore or was this actually topher being worried about abe

#bc like…….. in my mind #topher is SUPER like way overprotective of abe. both in the way that he doesn’t want him to get hurt #and he also doesnt like anyone else getting really close to him but he’s calmed down with that one a little #and to me this is one of those moments where topher would 1000% just drop everything #if he thinks abe is in actual danger #dont talk about it much bc i hate them yada yada but seriously i love just… thinking about the most mushiest take on them as possible #like topher is legit in love with abe ya know hes never felt the way he does with abe around in his life ya know #that’s just what they are to me. and that’s what this moment here makes me feel and i have not gotten over it at all #probably won’t until s4 comes out. this is my new favourite crumb #and another thing #i can not lie. i did. get unreasonably excited and happy when abe said he’d come with joan to where topher is #and then later when he said he’d stay behind with topher and the bleacher creatures #im not Even gona reach and pretend it means anything cuz it doesn’t i just love them being together at all #clone high #tophabe #clone high spoilers #mine

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wynandcore · 21 hours

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Okay I wanna show my favorite piece of Uprising concept art, it’s been in the back of my mind ever since I saw it

Look at that.

#I can’t quite put my finger on why but I love it so much #theres a serenity here in its light colors. for once the use of scale doesn’t feel used to show how small and ‘insignificant’ programs are #instead it’s used to show how all of these programs have their own lives. and they filled up this vast world with their presence #LOOK AT ALL OF THOSE LITTLE DOTS. ALL PROGRAMS. ALL LIVING LIVES.#all of this data all of these little lines and shapes making me think of renaissance art and research and the homo universalis #ripping all of this shit out of my heart bc I’m certain that wasn’t intentional. idc tho #like. programs have added so much to this world there’s humanity and life showing in this structure #its something CLU or anyone else can’t just take away as an imperfection #idk I’m still reeling over it and I saw this first like last year #tron #tron uprising #save #wanna come back to this n see it over and over again #I ramble

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remedyturtles · 2 months

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DAMN. Just finished chapter 17 of Firefight and whooh. I cannot articulate how excited and thrilled I am for this new direction. I love your Death Wish fic and i'll be absolutely damned if I don't continue to love this one with just as much, if not more, fervor. You're an incredible writer. You immerse me in the environments, the sensations, the inner workings, and the emotions of these characters while your words seep both their souls and yours. I really just wanted to tell you how enjoyed your writing is. I look forward to each update with patience and support, and if you chose to end it, life got in the way, or any other reason, I would continue to support you as a writer and artist while repeatedly reading your works. Death Wish is the length of a decent novel and I've reread it about 4 times, each experience unique and loved because there's always something new and poignant to find in your writing. There's so much love and intent in your work, and it's so greatly appreciated. You're my favorite fic writer, thank you for all that you do. Keep doing what you love!!

waghs at you quietly. dude thank you so much you are far too kind to me aaaaaaaa

i have still a LOT of firefight to go!!!! there’s gonna be a planned hiatus in april as i am going away but i have never once abandoned a story and i won’t start now LMAO

#firefight au #fic stuff #I’ll be honest I’ve been VERY nervous abt having a hiatus as someone who updates so regularly #I don’t want to leave anyone hanging and I definitely feel like I’ve set the expectations for updates pretty high LMAO #but unfortunately I will be physically unable to update as I will have zero computer access #when I started writing firefight in NOVEMBER I had no idea I’d still be writing it when this trip came around #that I’ve been planning for uh. four years. so.#but I promise promise promise the moment I’m back home I will be continuing hiatus is not a death knell #just a legit physical limitation LMAO #I’m seriously planning to bring a notebook with me and write in it even if I can’t update so here’s hoping it doesn’t get wet HAHAHA #ok for real thanks for the lovely message I just wanted to use this chance to warn people bc it’s been bugging me that I haven’t said #LOVE YOU SMOOCHES YOU ARE TOO KIND XO REM

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