#it feels so strangely intimate

[bixels]

hey um. u sure make a lot of art about lesbians for a man. you're normal about us, right? ;;

What? Yeah, I’m normal about y’all.

#I understand the suspicion and where you’re coming from I really do but strange thing to ask an artist tbh #ill say this. I try to be cognizant of my positionality as a queer man who enjoys sapphic ships and am constantly checking myself to make #sure my art doesn’t go into territories I don’t feel comfortable with. thereve been times I’ve second guessed myself while drawing rarijack #and thought “Is this too much?’’ and I have to check with my partner who is sapphic. #but also I’m a queer artist who likes drawing queer love. if my content makes you uncomfortable I’d be happy to start a dialogue about it #but there’s a reason why I’ve not drawn women kissing or being explicitly intimate. #anyways my art and thoughts about gay men are not so normal because I like cock so do what you will with that info #ask me #anon

[pkaykim]

Oofurixmas2022 for @meela-31

#oofuri #oofurixmas2022 #IVE REPOSTED THIS SO MANY TIMES IM SORRY #meela-31 #ren mihashi #abemiha #abe takaya #I hope u like it.. 😵😵😵😵 #anyway… chill air… being 1 on 1 together outside of school… always so strange and intimate #abe is saying like hey youre blocking the walkway.. or smth… hes so cheeky #im imagining a fic in my mind #like. do you guys get me. mihashi is sitting on the stoop while abe is checking out and hes eating his sandwich #its probably a stupid late time and its quiet and empty and his hands and face are chilly and #and hes about to take a bite and then the door opens and he feels a bag get dropped on his head and its like… a point of contact and its #silly and mundane but its affection idk. ans then abe tells him to move. ugh. love is love #ITS LIKE A SMALL THING THATS LIKE… WE’RE FRIENDS.. you like me.. and it feels goos #THATS ALL #anyway thats why i chose this ver over the one w tajima it got that feeling better. anyway

[reineydraws]

Saw your Mishanks bodyswap art! Very cute and fun! (Mihawk with a genuine smile on his face so so fun)

I imagine Shanks whould have trouble fighting in Mihawk's body at first since it's been years since he's had two arms

yes absolutely, i imagine that too! conversely, i think mihawk would have a little bit of trouble adjusting his balance and reach with a body missing one arm, as well. it's interesting to think about how they both would be forced to change their fighting style, and whether or not they would exchange swords.

mihawk's been seen using yoru with just one hand so he could probably pull it off with shanks's body. also interesting to think about shanks tripping up on having two arms until he naturally slips into his old fighting style again--or would he? because there's also the question of muscle memory, right? would mihawk's body automatically do things that shanks isn't predisposed to doing, and vice versa?

the other thing i find intriguing about body swapping in one piece is the question of whether or not your haki powers would switch as well. they say haki is spiritual presence, so presumably your haki switches if your spirits switch, but if it's the kind of spirit that's tethered to the presence of the body? then consider mihawk having the strongest conqueror's haki out on the blues, or shanks being able to use observation haki at mihawk's level, practically being able to predict the future--or mihawk, able to counter with shanks's haki-kill technique. food for thought!

#rei replies #one piece #mishanks body swap au #mishanks #akataka #dracule mihawk #shanks #akagami no shanks #red haired shanks #re: the genuine smiling #i also like to think shanks in mihawk's body would have this moment where he realizes his cheeks ache from all the smiling he's doing lol #bc mihawk's facial muscles arent used to doing it #and when they switch back shanks teases mihawk about it ('you exercise so many of your muscles hawky but your cheeks? they're weak!') #and he manages to get a smile out of mihawk that's mihawk's version of a genuine smile and it's softer and less wide but it's honest #and oh shanks is soooooo in love with him hahaha #BY THE WAY ALSO I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS OMG but in this body-swapped au mihawk-as-shanks would 100% shave for shanks #like hell is he gonna let shanks grow *stubble* on *his* face. dracule mihawk with STUBBLE? banish the thought!!!!!! #but shanks doesnt do it up to his standards so there's totally a scene where mihawk and shanks are body swapped in the bathroom #and mihawk is standing too close and shaving his lil pointy sideburns and mustache onto shanks's face #and shanks is having a crisis because that's his own face breathing too close and waaaay to intimately but that look of concentration #is ALL mihawk. shanks can practically his eyes--so familiar from the mirror and wrinkled with laugh lines--glow yellow with how #much mihawk looks like himself right now even in shanks's body. #it's all very strange. shanks has been attracted to mihawk for a long time but it's just blatantly unfair that the first time in YEARS #theyre this close again and it's shanks's own body that he has to look at. on the upside he supposes all he needs to do to ogle #mihawk is to look down. pros and cons pros and cons. #(mihawk isnt having a crisis. mihawk is annoyed that hia beard is easier to do in first person it is to do in the third person. #surely not having to do it reflected in a mirror should be easier and yet for some reason everything feels off! ugh.) #i digress

[tinderbox210]

La’an Noonien Singh and Spock + parallels and differences between their mind meld and altSpock’s mind meld with Pike

s01e04 - Memento Mori s02e10 - A Quality of Mercy

#star trek: strange new worlds #la'an noonien singh #spock #christopher pike #la'an x spock #spock x la'an #star trek snw #so interesting how the scene with La'an feels so intimate compared to the scene with Pike where the meld feels very clinical #this was probably also a deliberate choice to show the difference between Spock and altSpock #but they didn't have to go so hard in Memento Mori #and give it such an intimate and tender and almost romantic vibe if it's just supposed to be about the Gorn and La'an's trauma #and not about these two sharing and understanding each other on such profound level #the way Spock goes down on one knee in front of La'an will always get me #snwedit #spocklaanedit #spocklaanparts #my gif

[bishicat]

10 Songs on Repeat

Ruh roh, it's time to expose myself! Thank you for the tag @glitchinginthegarden 💖

rule: go to the "on repeat" playlist and post the first 10 songs in that bad boy

touch tank by quinnie

Dealer by Lana del Rey

Spiracle by Flower Face

Alien Blues by Vundabar

I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski

Isolation by Cherry Glazerr

SPIT IN MY FACE! by ThxSoMch

Gilded Lily by Cults

Mary by Alex G

Taco Truck x VB by Lana del Rey

we've sad girl hours and feminine rage on this blog!!

P.S. I omitted music from SAMURAI and the Cyberpunk 2077 ost cause otherwise, 90% of this list would be made up of that media.

Hmmm I'm tagging @tellings @pspspspspspd @sacrecoeur-art and anyone else who would love to give this a try (no pressure though!!!)

#tag game #not sure what my taste is but according to spotify it's some mix of indie pop and indie rock #music playlists feel strangely intimate like “here's a piece of me” -- so here you all go! #i feel like my music taste hasnt evolved since high school lol

[textualviolence]

well. i DO know how joan of arc felt.

#read souriau's the work to be done and the portion where he talks about how when an individual realises he has been called upon by a work #which he must realise in the time he spends with it he is not alone #and the work is not alone either they are in intimate whispering union with one another #& i have had this many times but this week has been the experience of trying to get the work its proper due realization while someone #(assigned classmate for group project) is actively insulting me & thwarting me at every turn #he doesn't get what im trying to do or why i must do it and as a result thinks i am an insane idiot and hates my guts #insults everything i do and tries to get me to drop the insistence on what i know is the right way to proceed #& it is objectively awful but also the whole time the work itself is there saying i am the one who matters and if you do anything except #ignore him and get on with my realization you are betraying me #and people don't get it they're like why don't you just drop it & let this guy have his way. or alternatively why don't you tell him #to fuck off & drop the project. it's clearly taking a lot out of you you're letting this guy ruin your life etc #and its not the guy its the work. the work demands #and im so oddly at peace with it. he sent me like 9 messages nitpicking every portion of my section & it was so strange #bc i was like yes this hurts my feelings at the same time the work itself is by my side like the angels speaking to joan when she was #being tortured. you say i am of the devil i have none to defend me #but the angels are there by my side and i know i belong to them as they belong to me

[frenesi-jpg]

I made a sugimoto drawing some time ago and didn't post it because I forgot to put red on the scarf and wanted to do the colors more vibrant but I'm too lazy so here he is, my boy

#golden kamuy #golden kamuy sugimoto #sugimoto saichi #sugimoto the immortal #gk sugimoto #it feels so strange without the hat #its more intimate that seeing him naked #we see him naked quite often #golden kamuy fanart #digital illustration #fanart #digital painting #digital art #artists on tumblr

[myfirstandlast]

going through answered asks from when i was 18 wanting to hold myself so tightly

#i’ve never cared for the whole i wish i could see my younger self thing #because from where i was standing it was always still bad so thought why would i want to see them now #things are going to become very hard again very soon but last year was the best year of my entire life #i did something terrifying and then i claimed my life as my own #and a year later i have a car! and im driving! you can’t understand how impossible of a thought this was to me before #i live on my own and i’ve decorated my body and my bedroom and i can buy things i never thought id be able to own #i miss connecting with others my dash is a total wasteland now but i just #seriously cannot believe where i am right now. even though some things are still so screwed up and more screwed things are on the way #and i’m terrified of course. january is the perfect month to feel like ending it all. too much unknown #but still 2023 felt like magic i didn’t deserve and yet i basked in it #i’m not incredibly successful i’m not very interesting but im still so proud of myself somehow. even though i hate myself #it’s not as much as i used to. i appreciate myself more now and i can see how i needed me to get here. and im grateful for me #and for everything i have. i’m just speechless i can’t believe the life i currently have #i’m waiting to enter the era of travelling and intimate get together those areas are still slow coming #but if i could do this i can only hope and hope and squeeze my eyes tight to make them appear someday #i miss so many things but i don’t miss the old me. she sucked but she also cared and she’s still here in fragments #it’s strange to write this way i’ve never felt this sort of compassion before i was so so deeply depressed #it was inescapable and for good reason i don’t know how i made it through anything i’ve endured #i have to thank myself for always being too scared to die

[rancidarling]

it's probably such a good thing I didn't grow up in America because anytime I went to someone's house and they had a bb gun, I'd just be obsessed with it and trying to be subtle about how interested I was in using it and also wanting to know what it would be like to shoot someone with it 😍

#so you know..... I guess it's a good thing a real gun has never been in the same room as me ever #though I still wonder how much damage a bb gun would do if I shot someone with it #why did all these random weird kids always have the best toys #why didn't I get a bb gun 👿 #..... though I think given that my parents legit thought I might try to kill them #that might just be the reason #anyways I remember hanging out with this kid once #and he was just.. shooting slugs with his bb gun #and idk why but the memory just feels so strange and liminal ig #just the white bubble of liquid that would come out of the slug where it was shot #and the burning desire to try doing it myself #... the point here is. someone should give me a real gun >:)))) #r.r #though this might be a side ramble but I really look down on school shooters for using guns #if that uh... makes sense? #like they're kind of pathetic for using a gun #like no effort. wheeee pew pew easy kills look at me I play FPS games i'm so cool 😍 #try harder bro #a gun just seems like the most boring way to commit murder #get personal. get intimate. get blood on your hands and struggle with your victim #not just Pew You're Dead Now lolz

[gatun-gatunesco]

...

#and so i came back here. because in here i can find joy and sorrow. laugh a little and cry a lot because someone made a post i resonate with #it makes me feels understood. a private and intimate place that is also shared at the same time. and strangely; like a home #but i came back without knowing who i am. I see someone else in the mirror. Is that a monster? a sinner? a human? a normal man? #after all that effort leaving depression and self hate from my adolescence behind. from being proud of myself for being different to all me #was all a lie? how could i do such awful and terrible thing to the person i swore to protect? the person i love the most #i said i would never do that kind of unforgivable act. And here i am. Alive after the event. I want to drop dead. To dissapear from here. #But at the same time i want to fix what i did. in order to do that i need to heal. to change. be happy. to live. and i hate it #how can i do all of that with the weight of guilt crushing me and telling me i killed myself that day? i am just a shell of who i was #how to change what i thought was the best version of me? i was supposed to be different no harmful and kind man!!! #i already asked for help. and they told me it was not all my fault. But i still think it is. There is no way it can be 50/50 #physical actions are only responsibility of the ones who made it. circumstances are not a reason to diminish them guilt #a confused person is not deserving of any part of the guilt. they do not have control over themselves. but the other ones sure have it #yes. they might have started and added little physical actions. but i refused and it never came to completion. which is the opposite of min #physical trauma can spawn emotional and mental trauma as well. is way more bad and deep that the emotional one i might have #i want to kill that trash in front of the mirror. why are you still living bitch? just to be a parasite and hurt people on the go? #to make irreversible mistakes that affects every person around you? your decisions never end well. why do not you just give up already? #and yet here i am. trying to not isolate myself thanks to the safe place i found here. I can write what is on my mind. gives me some relief #because the only person i talked everyday is the same one i hurted as i never thought i would in my life #Hope i can found redemption one day. I hope they can heal and be happy soon and forever. #I am going to always be worry about them (i am sure of that) but i wish nothing but the best for them. I want nothing to hurt them again. #They never deserved the trauma and guilt. They suffered more than enough way before i step in and fucked up everything. #Life. if you can hear me. Please give them recovery. happyness. health and lots of love. They deserve it. Please #They did nothing wrong! Take them pain away and put it in me. I will stay alive just for that if is neccesary #I wanted to kill myself way long ago. but i still here. I might want to kill myself again. but i still will be here. #Just leave them be happy. That is what i really want

[templeofshame]

Wait what

I swear I've listened to the Broadway version of A Strange Loop (the song) but I just had to pause it because it said "does that make any sense" instead of "that makes like zero sense" and that is not an acceptable lyric change for me

#a strange loop #were they worried it was inconsistent tonally #because I think that's the point #it makes it feel more authentic and grounds it #it makes his character come through so it's not just lofty and pretentious #it's not distracting but it does remind us this is an intimate epiphany and not a philosophy essay

[holyviolence]

soon im gonna post a playlist of how it feels to live in late stage capitalism and absolutely fucking hate it. this has no bearing on how i feel about my life.

#rant in tags reader beware #the job i work is in a strange position of being between 'I am selling something that you are buying. isn't that nice!' And 'Im incidentall #and temporarily ​a significant part of an intimate aspect in your life.' #and the other day this woman was talking to me a lot and not about the wedding stuff. we started talking a lot about books like thrillers #and sci-fi and horror books. also it was odd because i knew that if we ever knew each other outside of this one interaction that we would #never have the chance to get along. because of the people we are and the ways we live. you know. #and then All of a sudden she asks What do you do when you're not at this place? #it's like. wow she is actually treating me like a person and not an employee performing a service. it felt so weird. #and it made me so nervous that i could only say that i just adopted another cat which is taking up my time a lot LOL #and this weirdness is a feeling that doesn't have to exist. lots of reasons for it LOTS but they don't have to exist but they do #anyway stream Fish by Will Joseph Cook. on loop for one hour. that's my playlist / #if ur still curious about why we'd never get along beyond superficial shit. in that hour of talking she was able to say things that were #transphobic and racist and hostile towards 'criminals' and generally too christian for my comfort

[apoloniaspiegelgold]

When someone who is notoriously bad, like absolutely horrendously bad at remembering names, directly calls you by your name ... yeah I felt that.

#feels weirdly intimate #also. i have to admit. #it's strangely satisfying to meet him for lunch only to then run into the coworkers that he had just ditched to hurry to meet me instead #coworkers who he has known for a long time and whose names he did not remember as he told me two minutes later #feels kinda nice to be known and remembered by someone who forgets about most other people #also kinda nice to be someone he ditches other people for but then accidentally stands up someone else afterwards #by spending too much time chatting to you (and another coworker) on the same day #this is going to be so bad for my ego. my social anxiety can take a break now i've ascended to godhood #what does it mean what does it all mean #ramblings

[zombienarc]

-

#this happened a few nights ago: my manager is obsessed with me. I went to his house to visit with him out of curiosity. #he’s been telling me how unique I am and that I'm on the path to enlightenment. #he told me that he see’s himself spending the rest of his life with me. #made comments about wanting to do intimate stuff. finding any reason to touch my hands and hug me. #it made me wildly uncomfortable. I hate when I'm just myself and people fall that hard and then I feel it's my responsibility to let- #-them down easy… you did this to yourself sir. #when I went to leave he hugged me and kissed my cheek and hand. I didn't reciprocate anything as I don't feel that way and he's strange. #at first i was intrigued but now it just makes me kind of mad strangely enough. #all I see is weakness and pain when I see him. one part of me wants to destroy him and another has pity. #he's my boss so I'll just benefit from his feelings for me and I hold the power to destroy him if he crosses me. he said it himself. #the age gap is 38 years. #part of me want to kiss him just to freak him out haha. #i asked him for money and he said he would get me some today. #w #txt

[buckyalpine]

Bucky knows you’re faking

Bucky knows you’re faking. He has no idea where you met this guy or why you’re still with him, in fact Bucky almost feels sorry for him. Because this guy thinks he’s doing a good job. He thinks he’s making you cry from pleasure, he thinks he’s pulling orgasms from you left right and center but Bucky knows.

Becuase he’s heard you. Fucking smelled you.

In your room, all by yourself.

He hears every moan and whimper, all those noises you can’t hold back. The filthy squelching of your pussy making a mess on the sheets is a sound unmatched. You always smell so good after and he can’t get over how soft and sweet you are, all fucked out with a quiver in your voice, not realizing he knows exactly what you’ve been up to with those pretty fingers between your legs.

He’s seen the way you practically glow afterwards, a shy smile on your face, acting like you weren’t moaning like a bitch in heat minutes ago. Always when it’s well past midnight, coming down for a snack, a thin sheen of sweat still covering your skin. He’s usually in the kitchen, having to pretend his cock isn’t aching after hearing how pretty you sound, how desperate and loud you get when you think no one can hear you.

But he can.

Bucky grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, smirking when he heard your less than enthusiastic sounds and silence a few minutes later. He watched carefully as you made your way into the kitchen with nothing but a flimsy robe covering you, eyes growing wide when you realized you weren’t alone.

“Have a fun night?” Bucky cocked an eyebrow, struggling to keep his eyes on your face and not the loose knot, so close to letting your robe fall open, giving him access to that pretty body-

“Oh-yes” you shrugged, suddenly feeling hot all over realizing Bucky had probably heard you, “I-um-I don’t think I’ll see him again”

“Why not” Bucky prodded, his curiosity piqued, self-restraint faltering, he couldn't hold back, not when that poor excuse of a robe was begging to be ripped off. “He can’t make you cum, can he princess”

“What?” You stared at Bucky like a deer caught in headlights, frozen on the spot, mouth gaping while he chuckled.

“I said-” he got up from his place at the kitchen island, biting his lip while backing you against the counter, your eyes growing wide feeling his hard, poorly contained bulge press onto you. "He can't make you cum? Can he?"

“I-" You stammered, gripping onto the edge of the counter, surely you were dreaming, there's no way this was really happening, all the fantasies you've thought of coming to life-

“Oh baby” Bucky cooed at your flustered state, tilting your face up to meet his eyes, “Don’t get all shy on me now bunny. Was that it? Did he make you cum?”

You shook your head, still nearly frozen like a baby deer, whimpering when Bucky groaned, his lips brushing against your ear.

"Knew you were faking it princess, I've heard you, y'know" Bucky smirked at your gasp, clearly mortified that he'd heard you during your most intimate moments. "Y'sound so pretty when you touch yourself baby"

"Bucky" You whined, not sure what you were begging for, arousal pooling between your legs, spreading your knees slightly to press yourself against his thigh.

"Tell me to stop" his jaw was clenched, gripping onto the single strange of restraint he had, his fingers toying with the knot of your robe.

"D-don't stop" You let out a shuddered breath, shivering when your robe was thrown off before you could blink, Bucky's lips smashing onto yours. His hand gripped the back of your neck, his tongue claiming your mouth as his, teeth nipping and sucking your lip. He lifted you onto the cool marble counter with ease, metal fingers swiping through your folds, gathering your slick before shoving them in his mouth, groaning at the taste.

"You're fuckin' sweet bunny" He didn't give you a chance to respond, prying your thighs apart and dipping down to lick a fat stripe through your soaked cunt before latching onto your clit. You cried out in pleasure, his wide shoulders keeping your legs spared apart.

"B-Bucky!!" Your head was thrown back when he shoved two fingers into you, curling and fucking them into you, moaning when you grabbed onto the roots of his hair, tugging harder the closer you got.

"Already sound so pretty baby" He let out a dark chuckle, kissing your pouty face when he pulled away just before you reached your high, tugging down his sweats to pull his cock out, "Bet you'd sound even better when you're stuffed, hm?"

"Please" You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, practically humping yourself on him, desperate to be filled. His cock was curved towards his tummy, the swollen head dripping with precum. There was something about him still being fully dressed while you were stark naked in the middle of the kitchen that aroused you more, knowing damn well anyone could walk by at any given moment.

"You need a fat cock to cum around, don't you bunny? My bunny's such a little slut, she can't cum unless she has a fat cock fucking her brains out?" He taunted, loving the way you were nothing more than a babbling mess already, moaning when you felt his tip catch against your fluttering entrance.

"Please Bucky, need it"

"I know baby, I know, my poor baby needs cock, doesn't she" His eyes locked with yours as he started to breech your tight hole, your breath catching in your throat at the stretch.

"Breathe, s'just me baby, swear you got my cock so hard-shit" He hissed as he pushed himself to the hilt, pulling out at an agonizing slow pace, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

"Faster Bucky, please-please need you" You tried to get him to move but he shook his head, feeling you flutter around him.

"First tell me what you call be princess, what do you call me when you're all alone with these sweet fingers"

Had Bucky not been holding onto you, you would have fainted; you had no idea he'd also heard the nights where you desperately moaned and came over and over again thinking of him. Bucky smirked against your skin, slowing down the drag of his cock again, snapping his hips suddenly making you squeal.

“C’mon darling, what was that you called me”

“DADDYY” you wailed, wrapping your thighs around his waist when he stated to pound you with a bruising grip around your waist, the clinks of glasses in the cupboards growing louder the harder he fucked you on the counter. "OH-GOD-D-DADDY"

"That's right, daddy's fuckin' you baby, makes me so hard when you call me that" Bucky groaned, thrusting faster, already on the brink of an orgasm. He could feel his cock swell each time you moaned or whimpered, his hand sneaking down to rub your clit.

"N'look at this precious clit, s'this what you're always playing with baby? Always rubbing this needy little button, thinking on one can hear you?"

"F-fuck Buckyyyy" Your eyes rolled back, tears streaming down your cheeks when he rubbed you faster, your first orgasm choking his cock without warning. You couldn't formulate words, letting out silent screams, blinking pleasure consuming you.

"That's it baby, moan for me, cum for me, cum for your daddy baby, know you've never cum for anyone else, go on n'cum for daddy, make daddy proud" Bucky looked feral, grunting with each thrust, desperately holding off his own orgasm, needing to feel you cum around him over and over again.

"OH-DADDY-D-DON'T ST-STOPP"

"Look at you baby, such a good girl for daddy, giving daddy all of her cum" Bucky's eyes were wild, staring at where he cock split you open, his length and trimmed hair covered in your creamy mess. "Daddy wants all of his baby's cream sweets"

"OH FUCCCKK" You wailed, your juices squirting all over his crotch, making it impossible for Bucky to hold off any more as you clung into him.

"So fuckin' proud of you baby, made daddy's cock feel so good, y'know that? Y'make daddy so hard, so horny, you're gonna make daddy cum so hard angel, m'gonna cum so hard for you, Fuck-gonna fill you up bunny-take it-take my cum-fuck-FUCCKK" Bucky roared against your neck as streams of cum started to fill you, his cock throbbing and twitching inside you. You were limp in his hold, passed out from pleasure, your combined mess dripping down your thighs and onto the floor.

You didn't even realize you were tucked under the warmed blankets, wrapped up in a pair of thick, muscular arms, Bucky's large chest acting as a pillow. You nuzzled into him while he softly petted you hair, blissfully unaware it was just the start of a very long night.

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barns imagine #bucky barns x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x freader #bucky barnes x fluff #bucky barnes fan fic #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes fanmix #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fan fics #bucky fan fic #bucky fan fiction #bucky fanfic #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x f reader #bucky barnes fandom #bucky barnes x reader #dom bucky smut

[ohdeerfully]

alastor request HAI can it be based on the fact that alastor doesn't sleep, and it's his lover finding out that petting his ears during cuddling makes him fall asleep.

thank you for your service

yess i love sleepy alastor thank u so much anon :D!!

Goodmorning, Love

Alastor x Reader (fluff) TW: none! join my discord! ═══ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ═══

You were well aware of the Radio Demon’s sleep habits. Or, well, lack of sleep habits. You often spent nights in his room, where he would sit with you in bed until you fell asleep and go do whatever the hell he gets up to late at night. You always woke up in an empty room, and often so in the middle of the night, struggling to rest again as a greedy tightness gripped your chest in worry and disappointment.

You understood, though, and tried your best not to let it get to you that you didn’t have his warm body next to you when you woke every morning. But you couldn’t help that twinge of sadness. You weren’t particularly needy or clingy, but would it kill him to stay in bed with you for a single night? And to have a slice of domestic bliss as you woke up?

Obviously. 

You roll your eyes as you lay, staring up at the ceiling. You had just gotten ready for bed, and now waited for said demon to join you for a few hours. Your fingers tapped, impatient, against your chest as you hummed absentmindedly.

“How lovely,” You heard him speak. Tickles of that radio static that always followed him clung to your exposed skin, which was signal enough that he had entered the room had he not announced himself. “What a siren you are, luring me here with that hum of yours.”

You smiled slightly at his comment, scooching over slightly to encourage him over. He obliged, joining you under the covers. He still wore his usual outfit, which made sense considering his tendency to go away all night. You purse your lips at the thought, slightly chewing on the skin.

“Why the face?” Of course he noticed your expression. He always noticed when any emotion tickled your face. You appreciated the genuine tone in his voice, the typical buzz of radio barely detectable in his words. He always got a little softer and kinder when he was alone with you like this.

You appreciated nights with him, being able to see a side of him that nobody else would live to spread word of. You enjoyed feeling a little special, especially to somebody like him.

“Do you think you could stay in,” You asked cautiously, fiddling with your hands as you inched closer to him, pressing your body against his. Even laying, he still seemed much taller than you. You gingerly guided his head down, against your chest as you spoke, hoping the multitasking would keep him from sitting up and rejecting your intimate gestures. “Just for a night. I miss you all night long.”

He allowed his head to lay against you. He did feel tense, of course, letting the back of his head be exposed in this manner as he lay vulnerable on you. It was a strange feeling, but not one he cared to consider for too long. 

“(Y/N),” He began with a sigh. “It’s impossible for me to get much done during the day, what with all the running around Charlie does. Somebody has to keep an eye on that young princess. I prefer to stay awake to get my own errands done at night.” 

I know that, you wanted to say and interrupt his explanatory ramble. You wanted to beg him to understand, just this once. You held in a sigh, watching as his head gently rose and fell with every breath you took. Maybe you should just take this submission from him as good enough.

You gingerly began tangling your fingers through his red hair, brushing out any kinks he may have gotten throughout the day. His tense body seemed to ease slightly, becoming more and more relaxed as you weaved your fingers through the locks.

“You have really soft hair, Al,” You commented, changing the subject. You figured there was no use convincing him. You let your fingers lightly trail upwards, up to his ears. You grazed them slightly with a finger. You touched again. When he made no motion of dislike, you fully began rubbing them. Petting him. You smiled to yourself at the idea of petting the feared Radio Demon. “And your ears are even softer.”

“I try to take care of myself,” He responded proudly. There was another hint of something in his voice, but you couldn’t quite place what it was. But it seemed heavy. “A well groomed man is a successful one.” You absentmindedly agreed as you stroked the velvety fur of his ears, switching back and forth between them and his hair. You had a preference for the ears, though.

You sighed and began humming quietly again. He rarely got so… comfortable, even around you. He always had some sort of guard up, always had his shoulders squared. He almost never became so… loose and vulnerable.

You noticed the clippings of radio frequency had stopped, which was a noise that was ever present in his wake. You had a suspicion why it disappeared, a small grin forming on your face.

Yes, the Radio Demon never slept. But that was a choice he made, not a curse that prevented him. Even demons get tired. You don’t know how Alastor makes it day by day without a wink of rest, but it was apparent that exhaustion had built up in him. He just needed to relax for a second.

You graced your fingers over his fringe, and craned your neck in a way to get a glance at his face. Yeah, you were right. 

He laid there, eyes shut, features relaxed with the lightest grin playing on his face. Even in sleep, you complained. It didn’t really matter. What mattered was the sound of his deep, slow breathing and occasional twitch of his velvety ears. You briefly wondered what the Radio Demon would dream about.

Would he be aggravated with you when he woke up, realizing you had practically cast a sleep spell on him? You didn’t, but the rate of which exhaustion took over may as well have been some sort of magic.

You shut your own heavy eyes, exhaling lightly as you continued to comfort yourself with the texture of his fur and hair. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.

You craned your arms and neck as consciousness came back to you, but an unfamiliar weight kept you from getting that good stretch in. Momentarily confused, you blinked open and looked down.

Red and black hair, more of a mess than usual, still took place on your torso. This was a first, and your chest felt like exploding with the glee of seeing Alastor still resting with you. He somehow looked even more relaxed than the night before, his cheek flush against your stomach, squishing his lips up slightly. A light grin was still there.

You gently brushed your fingers over his face, trailing a line around his features with an index finger. His eyes squeezed for a moment, and that static ambience of his slowly, quietly, returned. It was a noise that you had learned to find comfort in. He slowly opened his red eyes, a confused and sleepy daze clouding them. There was a wrinkle in his brow as he roughly propped himself up with an elbow, looking up at you with a furrowed expression.

“(Y/N)..?” He trailed, pausing to take in a shuddering morning yawn through a confused smirk. “Did I… Dear, what time is it?”

You looked at him tenderly. Oh, how cute he was, sleepy like this. Composed like an exhausted kid. Something even you have never seen before.

“Yeah,” You responded to his unspoken question. “It’s probably seven a.m. or so. I dunno.” There wasn’t a clock in your immediate line of sight.” “A.m. …” He said slowly. He sat up fully, looking down in disappointment at his wrinkled day wear. He quickly blinked the sleep from his eyes and managed to bring some composure to himself, but that lick of exhaustion was still prominent. Especially under his eyes.

“Yeah,” You said again, a light chuckle following. “Goodmorning, Al.”

He wasn’t obviously upset, it seemed. Though he probably was too tired to think about it too much yet. Maybe later.

“Well… Goodmorning, love.” He responded, still with a hint of confusion in his voice. “I suppose I accepted your plea from last night.” He brushed at his clothes while he spoke, trying to flatten out the creases that were brought on through a night of rest.

“Maybe more often?” You asked, twiddling your thumbs in anticipation. You already knew the answer, but it was okay. You knew how to keep him in now. You mischievously smirked as he closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Unlikely.”

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