#it makes me want to go back and rewatch everything

[scoobydoodean]

just saw somebody saying that cas is a pushover for dean…. obviously that’s not true. but can i have some solid evidence just to make me feel more sane?

I mean Cas's baseline state is ignoring what anyone wants him to do imo. It's just when he ignores what most people want him to do, he makes this face: 🙄

And when he ignores what Dean wants him to do, he makes this this face. 🥺

But anyway:

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in." (4.02)

ANNA: "Uhm, guys, the angels are talking again. / SAM: What are they saying? / ANNA: It's weird. Like a recording. A loop. It says: "Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight, or we hurl him back to damnation." (4.10)

"[I tricked you into coming into town] Because whatever I ask [for you to turn an innocent person over to me for execution], you seem to do the exact opposite [protect them from me]." (4.15)

After kidnapping Dean to make him torture for them: "This is too much to ask, I know. But we have to ask it." (4.16)

[Kidnaps Dean and locks him up] (4.22)

[Flies away abruptly because Dean asks a question he doesn't want to answer] (5.01)

"I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I'm hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world—and I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself." (5.02) (Note: Cas blaming Dean for everything going wrong here is also some major bullshit).

CASTIEL: May I borrow [your amulet]? / DEAN: No. / CASTIEL: Dean. Give it to me. / DEAN: All right, I guess. (5.02)

Cas flies off to kill Jesse when Dean and Sam are in direct moral opposition. (5.06)

ANNA: I'd say the Winchesters don't trust me. / CASTIEL: They do. I don't. I wouldn't let them come. (5.13)

You're not gonna finish that? [Takes Dean's burger without waiting for an answer] (5.14)

[Kidnaps Dean and locks him up] (5.18)

"Maybe they're desperate. Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them." (5.18)

[Beats the shit out of Dean in an alley] "I rebelled for this?! So that you could surrender to them?" [kidnaps Dean and locks him up again] (5.18)

DEAN: Whoa, wait. You’re gonna take on five angels? / CASTIEL: Yes. / DEAN: Isn’t that suicide? / CASTIEL: Maybe it is. But then I won’t have to watch you fail. 

CASTIEL: You think I came because you called? I came because of this. [The Staff of Moses] / DEAN: Oh, well, it's nice to know what matters. / CASTIEL: It does help one to focus. (6.03)

CASTIEL: I need your help. / SAM: [ Scoffs. ] That's rich. Really. / CASTIEL: [ Grunts, tosses the jar of locusts at SAM. CASTIEL performs air quotes during this speech. ] Sam, Dean, my "people skills" are "rusty." Pardon me, but I have spent the last "year" as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. But believe me, you do not want that weapon down here. Help me find it. Or more people will die.

[Flies away abruptly when Dean asks anything he doesn't want to answer] (6.03)

Cas tortures a child while Dean pleads with him not to do it (6.03).

[Yanks Dean's wrist over without asking and slices his palm open to use his blood for a spell] DEAN: Whoa, whoa! Hey! Ahh! Why don't you use your own? / CASTIEL: It wouldn't work. I'm not human.

[Flies away abruptly when Dean is mid-sentence] (6.06)

Cas ghosts Dean for days while Dean pleads for help in prayers (6.05-6.06)

Those are some moments of note up to my current rewatch episode.

Less organized but past current rewatch point some random momence:

The entire plot of season 6 where Cas is going behind their backs the whole time culminating in him refusing to let go of his plan while Dean pleads him to do just that.

Fun lil Deancas bitchy compilation set here

[Beats the shit out of Dean flies away with the angel tablet]

Refuses to come out of Purgatory

Ignores Dean's nightly prayers in Purgatory

Ignores Dean's prayers and calls all of the tiiiiiiiime sometimes for weeks

Locking Dean in the dungeon... again. (S9)

DEAN: I'm glad you're here / CAS: *Leaves* (10.03)

Keeping Demon Dean from doing demon things :(((( (10.03)

Works with Sam to decode the Book of the Damned behind Dean's back.

CAS: No fighting. / DEAN: Tell [Claire] that. / CAS: Both of you.

"YEAH you know what I like about him? It's that he's sarcastic, but he's THOUGHTFUL and APPRECIATIVE too."

"If I plan to do anything else stupid, I'll let you know."

CAS: So I should just sit here? / DEAN: Pretty much. / CAS: NO.

[Look of utter loathing] "Dean. You are NOT a talking dog." (13.16)

"At least I don't look like a lumberjack."

Steals The Colt to kill Kelly Kline when Sam and Dean want to save her -> Does a 180 into wanting to protect Kelly and still won't include Sam and Dean, instead knocking them unconscious (12.19)

Locks Sam and Dean out of the dungeon so he can torture Donatello for information (13.14)

Also: #hot girl cas. And anyway, if Cas decreases his bitchy basline tendencies to be bitchy around Dean and Dean only, and instead indulges him occasionally by doing things like dressing up like cowboys, we should be fond of this because the angel the size of a Chrysler building who has killed thousands lets Dean put him in little outfits to make him happy and there is something very cute about that.

#and cas is my best friend #mail #hot girl cas

[nosnexus]

Farewells at the End of All Things...

#dimension 20 #d20 #neverafter #neverafter spoilers #mother timothy goose #d20 puss in boots #ylfa snorgelsson #gerard of greenleigh #princess elody #d20 pinocchio #d20 cinderella #d20 scheherazade #my art #still processing all this but I really loved the little goodbyes everyone got before the epilogue #it makes me want to go back and rewatch everything #they've come so far and deserve their happily

[welcometogrouchland]

I just think Hunter was obsessed with Willow and didn't even know it during the period from any sport in a storm to labyrinth runners. They maybe don't talk as often as they could, they're both busy and have conflicting schedules, so when they do talk, Hunter absorbs everything she says.

After roughly 3 weeks of texting (hexting? I feel like the kids would call it hexting), He knows that her favorite colour is orange, she likes her tea with extra milk and a bit of honey during winter, she likes working out to the noisiest angriest music in her playlist, her dad Gilbert is a construction witch who specialises in pottery, she used to listen to breakup songs and think about her childhood best friend (Hunter doesn't know it's Amity) and she actually has a mild pollen allergy despite being a plant witch and has to take potions for it.

He casually drops all this info piece by piece during their stay in the human realm and willows like. Well I can't not marry him. It'll have to be a winter or fall wedding to account for her allergies </3

#ramblings of a lunatic #the owl house #toh #hunter toh #willow park #huntlow #Hunter is often ignored and hides and compartmentalizes his identity in order to survive and be respected = his love language is listening #he doesn't just go quiet around Willow bc he's shy (tho that's definitely a factor) he's also like wow everything you say is amazing #i want to listen to you 24/7 #(Willow realizes this and thinks back to how often she was ignored and isolated- #-and how it made her feel worthless and she's like. i must make him my bride) #i haven't rewatched in a while so i can't exactly tell how much of this is self indulgent and how much is like. actually character accurate #it's in limbo but it feels true to me #we don't know the details of their text exchanges beyond him sending her (presumably) a cute pic of flapjack #I've seen ppl argue that they didn't talk much over text bc she's slightly suspicious of him at first in labyrinth runners #but tbh I've always chalked that up to the general mindfuckery going on at hexside at that time #ergo she couldn't immediately trust that this was actually Hunter until he mentioned something specific about Gus #so i like to imagine it was semi-frequent chatting but i payed lip service to the idea that it wasn't super duper close #playing both sides so I always win etc etc #this is really just a covert way of babbling my willow headcanons

[variousqueerthings]

I note that I don't, and I never, was much of a fan of doctor-and-rose as romance, but that I -- rather than get annoyed at the romantic-coded scenes -- had a tendency to simply read them from a totally different perspective, and really maybe should have been a sign of sooomething different about me, that I continuously felt that the doctor's concepts of connection must be so alien, that to call it romance would be to diminish the actual Thing that they had, which was presented as such onscreen (to my mind then, now I realise what was happening, but I prefer what I had going on), which is basically that the doctor was a shell of a person, hurtling towards destruction (he would have died without rose in ep1), desperately lonely and sad and traumatised, and she retaught nine -- and by extension ten -- how to love the universe, at the same time as nine and ten taught her the same. (I think about the scene in father's day, where while they're arguing, rose says that she knows how sad he is, and he'll just hang around the tardis waiting for her -- she knew!)

and then on top of that with sarah-jane (which, I never watched the classics as a kid, so I didn't have that context for her beyond what the episode presented) it felt like that was sort of confirmed and made even more canon through this idea that the doctor is constantly mourning the inevitable deaths of their companions and would rather simply leave them behind at some point than watch that happen (and they've seen that happen before, although dying for a cause versus just... dying, because you die, while they don't, they just continue on and on, always seeking connection, always knowing that time will take them away, that's a whole other thing)

and then of course there's ten's... I would call it "sex appeal" because it's david tennant and with his performance there's immediately a bit of a focus on oh he's quite pretty and he faints/is knocked unconscious in both of his first episodes, and a lot more flirting, and the people want to see sparks or what have you... but the doctor as portrayed and written is still... not coming at it that way. yes yes girl in the fireplace but also, once again, doesn't work for me, because I find it soooo much more interesting that the doctor would imprint on A Life - and a life that they admire -- and speedrun the exact thing that they're most afraid of with their companions... that she ages and dies and it's the one thing that the doctor simply cannot stop

meanwhile rose is quite young and swept up in this whole massive adventure and very much reads the doctor not as an alien (frequently surprised by their alien-ness) and gets jealous of sarah-jane as if she's an ex, and renette as if she's... a replacement? but really it's more that the doctor met her at the point when she was about to accept her life as it was. not an exciting life, not a bad life, but always having to ignore the idea that there must be more to it than this. and the idea that she might be unceremoniously dumped back in that after seeing just how This the this could be, of course that's terrifying. and of course she's simultaneously taken with the dashing doctor and the jetset life, and worried she could be replaced, because to her the doctor saved her at 19 years old. in some ways the doctor created her (considering who she becomes after dooms day)

contrasted to martha who initially has a similar kind of experience, but the doctor doesn't meet her at the space she's in with them -- ten is leaning on her, like they did with rose, but not giving anything back unless kicking and screaming and traumatising her whole family. martha's trajectory is so so tragic, because she barely gets a taste of the splendor versus the horrors and the latter marks her for life. but she also knows to walk away from those overwhelming feelings, rather than give into them, she knows they'll never be rewarded and she also grows beyond wanting to be a crutch for the doctor (the fact that she then ends up as a soldier, well... ouch)

and then of course donna, who never has those fucking awe-feelings to begin with and whose connection with the doctor is explicitly de-romanticised but never placed on a lesser pedestal as if there's a hierarchy of alloromanticism. topples those pillars, never sees the doctor as anything but what the doctor is. good old donna. (sobs.) (but also... cautious hope for the specials.) (but also sobs.)

my point being. just don't buy alloromantic doctor, they're a near-immortal alien. it's such a dull simplistic way of reading their relationships to other beings. other point being. all those women who were making heart-eyes at ten, wish they'd met thirteen and had a... "yeah, this still works for me," moment. their horizons, too, are broadened by seeing More. (that or they realise they were never actually "in love" but just thought ten was a sexy skinny little snack and it blinded them.) (although jodie whittaker, too, is a snack.)

and lastly lastly ofc, is that if the doctor has a longterm (by doctor time measurement) intense relationship with anyone, whatever that might be called, it's the tardis. and that relationship is also so alien it cannot be quantified by human words for concepts

#im rewatching doctor who #doctor who #dw #aroace doctor #look im rewatching into 13 and beyond i am willing to entertain yaz and 13 because we enjoy a good bit of lesbianism #however will wait and see because the doctor in my head is so so aroace in every incarnation #they just manifest it in different ways #i could go into the whole eleven-and-river and how i feel about that #i am perhaps in the minority in that river's arc just doesn't work for me and often neither does her character #i kind of want to listen to the audio adventures because ive heard she's got much more to do there #than be a flirty enigma/sexy lady/moffat fantasy #but i can say that one of my least favourite things about moffat's run was how 'sexy' he tried to make everything #by literally just having people use the word sexy all the time and talk about bad girls and what have you #it's like sexiness as written by a straight teenage boy #and not a supposedly grown man writing for grown people #other minority opinion perhaps but eleven just isn't my cup of tea #am interested in how i'll feel going back into that run #dont like matt smith much dont like moffat much and dont like what they envisioned for the doctor and how they directed/acted the doctor #feel like capaldi had to claw the character back into some semblance of thematic coherency #i was never too much into especially ten getting a bit high and mighty with lonely god and the like titles BUT #waters of mars places that in a very particular context that makes it so so gooood #(another post for another day about companion opinions)

[undermostcorgi]

the media which consumes your entire soul at age 12 will forever be a part of you. this is an unavoidable consequence of living and you have to accept this fact. no matter how old you get, no matter how long it has been since you last saw its smug face peeking out from the bushes as it follows you, no matter if you think you have outrun it for good and that you're finally finally safe and you hardly even remember it exists anymore and your brain knows a few brief moments of true peace, it WILL catch up to you in your moment of weakness. and listen you don't want to hear this but sometimes this is necessary for your mental health. you will on instinct want to reject it and run away again but sometimes. sometimes you just need to watch that old show or listen to that silly song or read that weird book again as an adult and it will hurt you a little bit in various little ways but it will also heal you a little bit. you can call it nostalgia you can call it connecting with your inner child or whatever you want but just listen to me it WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TOO AT SOME POINT AND YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR THIS (i am forcibly dragged off the stage by security)

#heed my warning boy #it seems i am not well today #recently made the reluctant decision to revisit what was probably my VERY FIRST real hyperfixation #something that i don't necessarily want to mention by name right now because. well #its pretty objectively bad LOL like i dont think i know of ANYONE still posting about it or really proud of having liked it back in the day #i dont think it is as well known to the general public so it wont get me hunted down for sport even if i did name it probably hopefully #but for those who know its. probably not the best thing to be revisiting lmao (even though i think it might still be being made?? wtf) #but i felt i had to because i was about to start my period and was going crazy insane like you do you know how it is #and i randomly remembered a fanfic i loved and then remembered my fav character and how much i loved him #my actual first ever blorbo oh my GOD he was everything to me #so i reluctantly decided to rewatch “just the first few episodes” just to see how much i remembered and also to prove to myself it sucks #but surprise surprise: nostalgia and hormones are making me actually kind of enjoy it #and now i am suffering from fucking Catholic-like Guilt for not hating it which i think is pretty silly lmao #so im kind of posting this in an attempt to convince myself that its like. FINE and cringe is dead and all that #and that sometimes i gotta be nice to my little mentally ill brain and give it the junk food (bad media) it craves #ESPECIALLY when im on my period LMAO #anyway completely unrelated: why the FUCK do i still remember almost every single fucking word to the delicious tomato song SDHJFKSAJF #i hope no one actually reads this far in the tags bc i know that reveal will probably deal psychological damage to some of you LMAO SORRYYY #ok yeah posting this and then immediately going to bed so that the Haters cant reach me LOL SEE YA

[rhymaes]

The Untamed (2019) // “You’re Not a Girl in a Movie,” Hala Allan

#IT'S JUST--that he was dead at the beginning!! he was dead at the end!!! he's always been in a state of loss born from a second chance that #wasnt so kind--to be taken in by a family but with the unspoken agreement between your guardians #that you will not always be second to your siblings but that you are expected to give them anything you are---and he would have done #it anyway. is the thing. he didnt need madam yu's anger or sect leader's guilt. he would have done what he did #for jiang chang even if they had all lived. because what does life mean to you when you've always existed in an in-between state of having #ost it / owing it to someone else? it's that he should have died the first time as a child #and in his mind everything was---borrowed time. what the wens said to him as a thank you #being the process he's always existed within even without realizing #to do as much good as possible--to be a hero even one that no one but tens of people no one will listen to #believe you to be. because its never been about fame or acclaim but about what doing what no one #had done for him: protect / sheild/ help someone who cant help themselves because that's what you trained for; thats why youre alive #his siblings / their lives & careers & reputuations / lan zhan's reputation / his #old sect's reputation / the wen's existence / innocent lives that didnt bring anyone back #they just made the walls even more red #its that he died and died again & there's always going to be somewhere darker for you to go #when you never even expected to make it there #JUST. FUCK. rewatching this four years later & making me realize how much it was all the first time its. its. #his life was never his!! it was never his until an abused kid gave him life to not only bring wei wuxian back #but to give him. his own existence--absent of anything he didnt choose to incorporate. no more #loved ones means no more expectations which means more time to find. what you want. what you need. #and that he never expected lan zhan to be waiting for him---trying to 'spare' him from wei wuxian's presence even then #oh god. oh god. #im not making any sense but WHATEVER ITS MY POST I& im having . a time. #the untamed #mdzs #wei wuxian #wei ying #lan zhan #wen qing #wen ning

[rapha-reads]

Gonna be totally honest, I don't get how anyone can feel actual dislike towards Thirteenth and series 11-12. Indifference, yes, hatred/dislike? Why?

Edit: aaaand this got long, like most of my DW rants. Settle in, grab a cup of tea, a... Handful of dirt.

I just rewatched Praxeus and Can You Hear Me (12x06-07) and they're so interesting? So refreshing?

Edit: I'm mostly talking about Praxeus here because that's the aspect I want to develop, but Can You Hear Me is also very interesting to discuss in regards to another aspect of the show, less meta and more narrative. We'll get back to this later. Maybe.

First, Segun Akinola's score is beautiful. I already talked about it in another one of my posts (that I'm not going to look up now otherwise I'll be up til dawn), but it's subtler than Murray Gold's, but still very present and atmospheric. It's melancholic, and metallic, and ethereal, very 2020s, which totally suits Thirteenth. She's very paradoxical, Thirteenth, she's both very present and very distant, exactly like the music that surrounds her. I feel like this gif below, from Praxeus, describes rather well the feelings Akinola's music incite. The sort of wonder and nostalgic anxiousness at the beauty, force and fragility of planet Earth.

Secondly, the storylines in general are so much more... I wanna say heavy, but not in a negative or literal way. Heavy, as in, they get you to places in your psyche that you hadn't considered before, or in a long time. Which is something that Doctor Who has always done, by the way. But the feeling I get from having watched 2 episodes of Eleventh, one of Twelfth and 2 of Thirteenth in 3 days, is that previous narratives don't want to be too explicit about what they're about.

I'll explain. Praxeus talks about pollution, of the planet and of our own health. Other DW episodes have talked about that theme (though I cant think of one right now), but always in a manner that lets the viewer be reassured/distracted by the scifi elements. Praxeus is direct, and real. And I know what the critics are, "it's so preachy, it's so paranoid, bla bla". But... It's not? It's the actual reality? And what is science-fiction if not putting in the light our reality? What is Doctor Who if not a show about humans and Earth, at its core? And yes, maybe it's much more direct than before, but I invite you to look around you, look at the 21st century, look at these first years of the 2020s. The time for subtlety and gentleness is long gone, direct action, direct call to what must be corrected is what's needed.

And that's the strength of Doctor Who, I think, its adaptability to its time.

#doctor who #dw #dw series 12 #thirteenth doctor #13th doctor #jodie whittaker #dw meta #dw rant #rapha is being a whovian #praxeus #segun akinola #i'm going to finish rewatching series 12 and then i'll rewatch series 13 #because i am ENJOYING it and 13th is a delight and yaz is my depressed lesbian sister and i adore them #and it's actually making me sad seeing people hate on them #maybe there are some weak episodes but that's not new - go back to look at the first seasons of new who - there was some bad there too #and it's not the writing. it's not a question of bad writing. it's just not. #my opinion is that people don't want to acknowledge that doctor who has always been about the hard truths of the universe in general and #our human western society of the 20th-21st centuries in particular and they're mad because now the writing is making it clear #but like. the very FIRST episode back in 1963 was about humans learning to use and make fire and starting some fires on the way #if that's not telling you everything you need to know about the show... i don't know what to tell you anymore #anyway this is getting super long #whovians i invite you to INTERACT with my rants it feels like y'all are sleeping #what's going on why are you as a collective fandom not liking meta discussions? #doctor who is such a perfect show for meta and literary analysis come talk to me

[thelonelynindroid]

Brad Jo Dana Evil Gang.........I love it

#i want to see them fuck shit up #I WANT TO SEE DESTRUCTION AND TORMENT ❗ #s4 when i am going to love every second #anyways yes. after an absolute ROLLERCOASTER of a month I have finished mythic quest</3 #best show eva every1 is insane and i love that for them<3333 #ian and poppy r everything to me. they really just fight and make up and repeat they need to go see the toxic codependent coworkers #equivalent of a couples therapist #they are both both the host and parasite please and thank you. it's symbiotic #brad back in his homie era we love to see it. i love when he's evil #someone said i hope they don't ever reform him i wamt him dripping in sin or something like that idk who but YOU'RE SO RIGHTTRUEAND REAL #absolutely here for the dana corruption arc. i love rachel/dana as a pairing but oh how fun this is gonna be #brad and jo continue to be my faves 2 the end. they are both softies in several layers of insane person armour and i can NOT ask for #more than that in a character #they were written for me<333 #mq #mythic quest #evil gang 😈 #oh and yes btw I am absolutely going 2 rewatch right away 😭 #I just know it'll be so different second time round bc i know and love all the characters now #also watching s1 from a post breaking brad perspective will be..... something #i just wanna see everlight again okay. i have not been the same since that day and i don't think i ever will be

[d-e-s-t-i-n-e-s-i-a]

NOT what I expected this season

#hello??? #tua #the umbrella academy #tua season 3 #tua spoilers #I wanted to add some examples but it got all messy but. uh #throw a party for viktor #dropping that number one stuff #everything with his father??? #refusing to give reggie the time of day was so GOOD to watch #everyone telling him to give him a chance vs luther who learnt his lesson!!! #(more spoilers ahead here) when he walked into that room with Reggie I thought they were going to make them forgive each other and #have some 'forgive everyone' moral #but NO #they were like: 'luther gave his father one fuck and reggie used it to kill him. don't go back to the people who hurt you kids' YEAHHHHH #I didn't think there was anything that could make me begin to like him. I'll probably change my mind when I rewatch season one heh #I just think. his character arc was so well done and am. so happy

[stellardeer]

I'll be honest, I HATE when media is spoiled for me. Like any amount at all. Idc if it's just like "This person has a sibling" I DON'T WANT TO KNOW, LET ME FIND OUT.

and the WORST is when people are like 'it's okay this isn't really a spoiler' and then explain half the plot to me like?!?!??

I'll see spoiler warnings for media I've never even HEARD OF and still skip the post just in case XD

#and i HATE when a commercial practically gives away the most crucial points in a movie or something #like... why would i watch the movie now that you've basically told me everything that's going to happen #and i know that people will be like 'oh well if the story is ruined by revealing a twist then it's a bad story to begin with' buT #i dont want ANYTHING revealed to me idk #like... im not saying it makes sense or is good but i like to consume stuff based on vibes #maybe a blurb on the back of a book and or like a genre #but i am the type of person who does not take joy in consuming something more than once maybe its an adhd thing idk #but i get bored if i have already seen something before and have to see it again #so like idk maybe it IS bad storytelling if i can't watch something more than once otherwise im bored #because there definitely are movies that i enjoy rewatching; namely musicals #because im in it for the theatrics and the Fun and not the story #am i making any sense?!??

[welcometogrouchland]

I'm on hiatus from thinking for the next while. Discursive and analytical fandom practices I love you so so much you are in everything I do, including the silliest of headcanons and comics but FUCK I am not equipped to think about. Anything right now

#ramblings of a lunatic #tbh my art muscles are exhausted too so i think I'm just gonna. be a bottom feeder for a little while. #like a deep sea creature letting plankton drift into it's mouth on the ocean floor yknow #hard to do when half your dash is about stuff u are not a part of and the other half is abt the fandom that's in hiatus #and approaching it's finale (and the end of a show should NOT be the end of a fandom it should NOT but. i know how these things play out) #and i can't just rewatch the episodes bc I've literally seen them too many times now #and watching them is like. oh hey episode! blink. it's over #bc everything is MEMORIZED AT THIS POINT #the obvious answer would be to go watch something else rn but i keep TRYING AND IT'S NOT WORKING. I ONLY WANT THE SPRINTEREST RN #but i also don't if that makes sense. i want the spinterest to be new but also comforting and different but also the same #aka i want a new episode to release bc i dislike the quiet fandom during hiatus BUT i don't want it to air bc then the show is over #so I'm just kinda. sitting here. frustrated #sitting on all my art and text posts bc I'm in a funk rn and none of them feel Right™ #bc (CIRCLING BACK AROUND TO THE ACTUAL BODY OF THIS POST) they're all my usual hc/analytical fair #but i like to always have a good sense of character when i make those but those require REWATCHES FOR ME and i CAN'T REWATCH #BC OF ALL THE ABOVE THINGS I MENTIONED #oh man. i feel a bit better writing it down though. getting it out there somewhere in a semi-articulate way #I'm not done with my current hyperfixation- far from it depending on how the show ends- I'm just pre-bummed about the finale #and how it's gonna impact the fan environment that normally supplements my own fan activities like rewatches fanart etc #ohhhh my god that felt good to explain #it's to no one in particular but it felt good. this talking about your feelings shit actually works man #anyway please pray for me that i go to sleep some time tonight bc i slept for 5 hours in the middle of the day #after staying up the previous night #and i do not wanna throw my sleep schedule too far outta wack #(i think..i need to watch more movies? less commitment than series but distract me for a good bit. send reqs ig!)

[thetriumphantpanda]

mine, all mine | joel miller

Summary | You & Joel have been skirting around whatever this is for years, until he finally breaks and calls it what it is, in the only way he knows how.

Pairing | Joel Miller x F!Reader

Word Count | 1.2K

Warnings | Post-Outbreak, Jackson!Joel, possessive!Joel, rough sex, spit play, unprotected PiV sex, cumshot, cumplay, dirty talk, emotionally unavailable Joel, it's basically just 1.2k of filth tbh, no use of y/n

Authors Note | This one goes out to @undercoverpena who gave me the means to rewatch TLOU. This was the outcome. Enjoy the filth.

Divider by @saradika

Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi

He’s got your wrists caught together in one of his big hands, pressed down into the mattress to keep you still. Your thighs splayed wide, pressed down almost uncomfortably by the width of his hips. His cock is splitting you open and you’re so impossibly wet that you can hear it whenever he pushes himself back into you. He likes it, wild grin on his face whenever that lewd squelch makes itself known, he likes that only he can do this to you, only he can make you this wet, only he can get you to submit so completely like this.

It’s been two years of this. Two years of being pressed into his bed in the dead of night. Two years of dancing around what this is, but enjoying it all the same. You don’t think you need to label it, complicate it, not when it feels this good. You’d happily go the rest of your days not knowing what you and Joel Miller are if it means he’s going to stay like this. It started as stress relief, a lot like how it had been with the other people here in Jackson that had fallen into your bed - him, frustrated from patrol or whatever it was going on with Ellie, you, frustrated with… well, mostly everything these days. When he’s inside you, there are no frustrations, only the low thrum of pleasure across your skin.

Things have changed though, maybe in the past six months. He stands closer to you when you’re at the bar, sometimes puts a hand on the small of your back when someone else tries to talk to you. Subtle messages that say back the fuck off or she’s mine without needing to put real words to it. He doesn’t say it, even here, when he’s deep inside you, doesn’t beg you to tell him who you belong to, but then you suppose he doesn’t have to - you’ve not fucked anyone else since this started, no-one would hold a candle to him, and you know he doesn’t fuck anyone else either.

“You hear that?” His gruff voice asks, pulling you back to the present as his cock drags from your cunt, pushing back in slowly, and you do, that squelch of him pushing back inside you as deep as he can fit, you throw your head back, moan his name, “Yeah you do,” His face buries into your neck, teeth dragging across delicate skin, “Hear how wet I gotcha?”

You let your eyes open, fluttering slowly to reveal how close he is to your face. He’s so fucking beautiful like this - skin covered in sweat, brows pinched together in pleasure, his scars and his wrinkles visible so closely, the grey in his beard and the smattering of hair on his chest pressed against yours, you won’t ever grow tired of this.

“S-so fucking g-good, Joel.” You choke out on another drag of his cock, tip pressed right against the depths of you, dragging deliciously against that spot inside you.

“I know, baby, I know,” He coos, nudging the side of your face with his nose, hot breath so close to your ear as he continues the languid strokes of himself in and out of your spent cunt, “Bein’ so good f’me.”

His praise never fails to make you preen, face rolling to the side, exposing the side of your neck to him that he hasn’t already marked. You feel the tight grip around your wrists loosen, his hand taking hold of your chin instead, pulling you back to look at him, brown eyes glazed almost black with lust as he looks down at you. There’s something different there this time, sure he’s always been intense, but he’s looking at you this time like he wants to devour you whole - to cut you open and eat you from the inside.

“You’re mine, aren’t you?” He whispers, hand around your face moving to shake you so your focus is on him and not on the way his thrusts have started getting harder, “Say it.”

“M’yours,” You manage to get out, but he shakes your head again, “Yours, m’yours Joel.”

“That’s right,” He bends, hand still gripping your chin, and licks into your mouth, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, teeth nipping gently, “My girl.”

You almost can’t believe it, like this is some kind of dream, your wildest fantasy come true that he does want you, that it’s not just your pussy he covets but everything else you bring.

“Y-you mean it?” You speak, breathless, “I’m yours?”

You bring a hand up to his face now, cradling a cheek, thumb tracing his bottom lip, but he’s shaking your hand away, his own still tight against your face, “Open your mouth,” but you’re confused about why, so it takes you a while for your brain to catch up, “Open your damn mouth baby.”

This time you do, lips parted, tongue out, Joel’s fingers sitting in the hinges of your jaw, dragging your head forward a little, then, he purses his lips, opens his mouth and lets his saliva drip from his own mouth into your, caught on the flat of your tongue. It’s hot, probably the hottest thing he’s even done. You curl your tongue over it, dragging your mouth closed to swallow it down, then, you open your mouth, stick your tongue back out and look him straight in the eye to ask for more.

“Fuckin’ filthy,” He mutters, but there’s a grin on his face, his cock still pounding into you, the feeling of your slick, made more by what he’d just down, gathering at the base of his cock, dripping down onto the sheets below, “Y’like that, huh?”

“Uh-huh.” Is the only thing you can get out before he’s doing it again, letting his own spit drip from his mouth into yours.

This time though, he doesn’t give you the option to swallow it. He lets go of your face, his tongue melding with yours at the precise spot that his spit had just landed on. It’s a filthy, wet, open-mouthed kiss, saliva gathering in your corners of your mouth as you moan into his when he shifts his hips just a little, tip of his cock now bruising into your cervix on every punch forward.

It happens all at once, his lips dragging from yours, his cock dragging out of your pussy as he pushes backwards, cock in his fist for barely a second before the first rope of his spend is spurting across your soaked and aching folds. Joel lets out a growl as the next lands across the soft skin of your tummy, the next between the valley of your tits. He’s dragging a tight fist up and down the length of his cock, squeezing lightly at his tip to empty himself of every drop of cum, painting your skin with it until he’s softening in his fist and you’re trying to catch your breath.

Joel lets his hands grip your hips, dragging his thumbs through the pools of cum across your lower body, rubbing gently through it to spread it as far as he can, “Look nice like this,” He muses, looking down at the mess he’s made of you, from the aching red hue of your spent cunt, to the milky white splashed across your body, “Mine.” He says, with a tone of finality.

“Yours.”

#Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller x you #Joel Miller x female reader #Joel Miller x f!reader #Joel Miller smut #Joel Miller #Joel Miller fic #Joel Miller fanfic #Joel Miller fanfiction #the last of us #the last of us hbo #tlou #tlou hbo #the last of us smut #tlou smut #tlou fic #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fic #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #Joel Miller Pedro pascal #Pedro Pascal #Joel Miller tlou #Joel tlou #Joel Miller the last of us #Joel the last of us

[norrisleclercf1]

This might be real late but I was rewatching the Vegas gp. So if you are up for it, could you do a poly lestapen and reader where Charles gets annoyed about the first lap incident

A/N: It's been so long since I've watched that race, so excuse me if anything is wrong with this, also I've missed my babies lestappen

"Charles, just talk to me," You roll your eyes, knowing that Charles for the past 3 hours has refused to talk to Max since they finished their press conferences. Max had apologized to Charles for pushing him off the track, and you and everyone else thought Charles was perfectly okay, clearly that wasn't true.

The moment the cameras were off them, Charles wasn't saying a word and would only speak to you. The three of you were back from partying and now, Charles was trying to shower while Max was with you in the bathroom whining. "Charlie....please," Max whispers, hating this. You wanted to get involved but, when it came to their racing, you stayed out of it.

Charles gets out, wrapping a towel around his waist and kisses your cheek going to his suitcase to grab some underwear to sleep in. Max stands up quickly and storms into the bedroom and you follow knowing this wasn't to end well.

"If you're so angry with me, why date me? You knew this would happen, especially with us, you said you were fine, why did you lie? To hurt me, because if that was your goal, you've succeeded Charles. You've hurt me more than anyone else I know," Max turns and stalks into the bathroom, slamming the door making it and the wall rattle.

Charles just blinks and sighs, his shoulders deflating and turns facing you. "You've done wrong Charles, he didn't mean to do that. Has he ever apologized to you before? On live TV? Charles, he felt horrible, all he talked about was how bad he felt with what he did. You accepted his apology and made him think everything was okay only for you to ignore him the last 3 hours, that's just cruel." Charles doesn't say anything as you turn and climb into bed, turning your back to him.

"I made the mistake of reviewing the tape with the team, and they were all furious, and I guess....a small part was still angry and, I was being childish." You sit up quick and glare at him. "Don't say it to me, jackass, say it to the one you've actually hurt," You voice holds no heat which has Charles nod his head and move to the bathroom but stops when the door is ripped open by Max.

"I love you," Charles blurts, Max stuttering to a stop and staring at Charles like he grew a second head. "I know that Charl, but you still hurt my feelings," Max whispers and moves around Charles but, Charles grabs his waist and turns him around. "I'm a dick, and deserve to sleep on the couch. But, I'll never use what happens on the track affect the love I have for you and Y/n." Max sighs and moves hugging Charles, melting into his boyfriends hold.

"I love you too, please don't ever ignore me again," Max pleads, squeezing Charles close who sighs leading them to the bed. You make room for them as they lay with you between them. "You two ever argue again about racing, kicking you out of the bed," "Deal," they both agree.

#f1 #formula 1 #f1 fandom #formula one #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x y/n #f1 scenario #f1 fluff #f1 angst #charles leclerc angst #max verstappen angst #poly!f1 #poly!lestappen #lestappen fic #lestappen x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #max verstappen f1 #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x you #max verstappen fluff

[josephquinnswhore]

Her Sanctuary

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader.

Summary: you start pulling away from Joel, he’s scared he’s going to lose you.

Word Count: 1.7k

Content Warning: mentions of anxiety, bad mental health. Joel talking about Sarah!!! 😭 soft Joel!!!!! Hurt/comfort.

Note: kinda just wrote this on a whim after rewatching the last of us. I miss joel. @cool-iguana ily.

You were an outspoken person. About everything. There wasn’t a single topic you didn’t have an opinion on. Always a snarky reply, a joke, or following pun. That’s just who you were.

Joel spent months wishing you weren’t like that. That you’d just shut up so he could have a few moments of silence between you. His limited replies included a scowl, raised eyebrow or an annoyed grunt. He spent months travelling across the country with you, refusing to open up and reluctantly teaching you how to shoot his rifle.

He didn’t like how you made him feel. How he had started looking at you romantically. The sound of your laugh stirred something in him. Your bright eyes lightened the darkness in his own.

He never allowed himself to let you in; as much as a fight he put up. You wormed yourself into the cracks in the walls around his heart and started to mend him. He doesn’t know when it happened exactly, all he can remember is wanting to hear more of her laugh, he even found her a joke book in an old RV he scouted one evening at the trailer park they posted in overnight.

He had learned how to accept your brightness, for all its worth. Your dorky comments, crooked grin and boisterous laugh. Even those small touches to his back and arm when you would pass by, excusing yourself. Always followed by a mumbled, “sorry.”

But this.. this he didn’t know what to do. He was tearing himself up inside for not knowing what to do. You were quiet today, something bubbling inside of you that radiated off and in between them in a depressing aura that had Joel feeling breathless.

He even found himself staring at you, from the corner of his eyes, turning his head to watch you, making sure you kept up as you lingered a few steps behind him, completely silent. Not laughing, not crying. Silent.

It was heart wrenching and he couldn’t figure out how to put the pieces together to finish the puzzle. Nothing extreme had happened that they hadn’t faced before. They’d fought off some infected yesterday but—it couldn’t have possibly been that. They were fine. They survived.

Maybe you just wasn’t coping as well as he thought you were.

He tried to think of things to cheer you up, and the guilt consumed him when he realised he didn’t really know much about you. He had never asked. It was always you asking about him, pestering to know more about him. He cursed himself for being so selfish.

The harsh reality of their one sided dynamic hit Joel hard, he had always protected her, with his physical strength and ability to kill. That primal instinct that kept them both alive and for what? He couldn’t help her when she actually needed.

He felt utterly useless.

Until. He had an idea. That stupid fucking joke book that she treasured, had to cheer her up right? It had to draw out one of those loud laughs that made his insides flip, the smile that made your eyes squint that his heart craved to see.

He reached into his pack, pulling it out. She’d stashed it in there, insisting that her pack had no more room. He didn’t argue, he knew she struggled carrying the weight. He decided that day that he could carry the extra burden for things that she decided she couldn’t bare.

This baggage however, was tricker. He would take it if he could. He hoped this would work.

He turns around to look at you and what he saw made him feel like there was a metal vice around his heart, your slumped shoulders and black eye bags complimented a vacant look in your eyes, you were unrecognisable in comparison to your default sunshine personality.

“Hey, I was thinkin’ about that algae-bra joke you told me the other day.” He tried to make his voice as soft as he could when he spoke to you, trying to nudge a reaction.

Nothing, she barely looks at him. “Hm?”

“Anyways, I was thinkin’ we could pass the time with this.” He held the joke book in his hand, swinging his pack back over his shoulder, adjusting his rifle strap as he shuffles on his feet.

You felt a spark of something, something that was quickly put out by the fear and darkness that felt so consuming.

“Maybe later?” You offer quietly, walking past him. “It’ll be dark soon.”

Joel felt defeated. How had he failed so badly. How did he let this fester inside of her like a fucking disease that he didn’t know how to get rid of.

This was an infection in your mind; that he figured on his own. This kind of infection he didn’t know how to cure. He had always pushed his own anxiety and panic attacks down burying them, until he learnt to live with it.

But you; the one fucking good thing in his life that brought him life, hope. He wouldn’t allow you to ignore it, to let it consume you.

He wasn’t going to let you fall victim. He would do whatever it took.

He set up camp in silence, stuck in his head about how the fuck he was going to help you, a feeling of shame overwhelmed him as he sits by the fire, rubbing his hands together as you sit in your sleeping bag, across from him.

Arms wrapped tightly around yourself, legs pulled to your chest. It made you look smaller, the way you held yourself protectively. A reflection of the flames flicking in her eyes only made the mood more somber.

He can’t say something came over him, possessed him to say what he felt bubbling up inside of him. He didn’t want to lose her. To him, you were too important, you disarmed him and weaselled your way into his heart. He wasn’t going to let you leave, not ever.

“When my little girl used to get upset, she always shut me out like this, like what you’re doin’, I always told myself she’ll come around.” He nods to himself, as if reminiscing the memory.

You stay silent, watching him. Watching his expression soften.

“An’ now she’s gone it’s all I regret. Not doin’ more. Not making more of an effort with shit like that. Fuckin’ haunts me.”

Not once in the months they’ve travelled he had mentioned having children, a daughter, let alone a decreased one. He had mumbled a few times in his sleep, incoherently a name. Serine, Sari, Sarah? You could never figure it out, and never pried.

But here he was, sitting across from her looking on with longing eyes and his features the most relaxed she’d ever seen.

“I ain’t makin’ that same mistake again, seein’ you like this, pullin’ away. Feels like I’m failin’ all over again.” His admission shocks you, enough to stun a quiet confession from your own lips before you could think.

“I thought you were going to die.” He seems surprised to hear you talking, but stays silent, wanting you to talk more, wanting to hear more.

“I know we’ve dealt with plenty of infected.. we’ve had some close calls even, sure.” Your heart clenched as you recall.

Joel lying on the ground with that infected on top of him, Joel’s gun inches away as he fumbles, fingertips desperately grasping the hairs of grass as he searched for his weapon.

Holding the infected away with one arm, grunting in a struggle that he was bound to lose. It’s rotten teeth and fleshy stench was so close to grazing Joel’s neck. Inches away from sealing his fate.

You had somehow mustered some courage inside of you to tackle the infected, throwing it off Joel and giving him a split second to reach for his gun and put a bullet in the back of the infected’s head.

Your jeans still stunk, of gunpowder and blood. A stench so vile you couldn’t help but relive the moment, it was on your mind every second, unable to process it all.

You almost lost Joel. Joel almost fucking died. It was a breath away.

“I thought if I just—shut down maybe you’d get tired and ditch me.. worse yet I’d stop caring about you so damn much.” Joel’s ears perked at her soft admission.

“And I know you think I’m just—some annoying fucking girl that you have to protect and feed and I’m sorry..“ Joel wouldn’t allow another word.

“Hey. Look at me, now.” His tone was soft, but held a firmness, there was no doubt he wasn’t asking you. He needed you to look at him.

His face looked so soft beyond the flames of the fire, his expression was tender and kind; as no one had ever seen before. He looked beautiful, fuck, he was handsome. You’d always thought so.

“I know it was a close call, we’ve learnt from it, yeah? We won’t make the same mistake.” You nod, Joel continues.

“Don’t pull away from me sweetheart. Please.”

You open your mouth to say something, but Joel interrupts by patting the space beside him.

“C’mere sweetheart. C’mon.” You don’t waste a moment to plop beside him. He wraps his sleeping bag around you and his big hands grip around your torso to pull you into his.

“Tell me you ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

For the first time since you’ve known Joel. He was the one asking for comfort, reassurance.

“Promise I’m not going anywhere Joel.” You nuzzle into him, his natural musk strung a desire out of her that all she could do was lean into him.

“You get some rest now. I’ll keep ya safe.” He murmurs into her ear, a promise.

All you could do was obey him. Closing your eyes as your body and mind revelled in the intimacy and vulnerability of this moment.

His head rested on top of yours, your hair gets stuck in the rugged coarse hairs of his beard. He finds himself nuzzling into you, allowing himself to get lost in you. After months of fighting you; he lets go. He lets you in.

You were his. And he wasn’t going to let anything fucking hurt you. Not even yourself. He would be your sanctuary. No matter what it took.

#Joel miller #pedro pascal #tlou #angst #the last of us #Joel miller x reader #Joel miller x female reader #joel miller fic #joel miller hurt/comfort #joel miller angst #joel miller x you #soft joel miller

[i-am-shitpost]

I went back and watched the scene where Fearne and Ashton discuss what to do with the shard and there’s some things I want us all to remind ourselves of:

Fearne explicitly says “if I do have any say in it, I think it should go to you. I don’t know if I want it.” And goes on to say that she feels Ashton is meant to hold both pieces.

Ashton says they know that Fearne would miss them if something happened to them (this is NOT in the context of the shard, but the mission overall) and thanks her for it

Then they say “it’s nice to feel love for people. I love having you…here”

When Ashton does float the idea of them taking the shard they say “I need you to promise me that we’re going to find a way to make it happen if we’re going to do it”

When discussing the plan, Ashton continually uses ‘we’, showing that he has always considered this their plan. Together. With equal say. And she can easily say no, Ashton would have accepted that answer. It’s specifically an “IF” question.

Ashton asks Fearne explicitly that if it goes wrong to “Please try and save my life. I’m not lookin’ to die”

This is explicitly not a martyr attempt

Ashton says he trusts Fearne more than they trust the others.

In regards to the plan, they word for word ask “Are you okay with that?”

Fearne responds “Yes I’m okay with that.”

There is no pressuring that goes along with this question whatsoever. Ashton outlines their idea for the plan, and then asks point blank.

He then apologizes for putting this on her.

Ashton also tells her “if it’s not okay it’s not your fault”

Ashton expresses that it’s nice having something to lose again, “So hopefully I won’t fucking lose it…again”

Other moments worth noting:

in the scene in Percy’s laboratory, Ashton says that “[they]’d like to feel safe…for once” when discussing how they’d like it to just be them and Fearne.

After getting kicked in the face and yelled at, Ashton immediately tells Fearne “that’s probably fair” holding no anger or resentment and validating her feelings as much as they could in their current state.

It was not manipulation. Fearne was not coerced. There were no double meanings. Ashton was straightforward as always. It wasn’t a recklessly planned or naive decision, they both felt this was the right call. It was not a martyr attempt either, Ashton did not want to die. But they felt this was the right call for the mission, so they stepped up and put their own neck on the line.

Ashton was being himself in a very stressful and gut-wrenching way, but it was not malicious or twisted. It was just terrifying.

Edit: I have removed a note about a comment made when Ashton kissed Fearne, I had misremembered the timing and delivery and hadn’t seen a clip of that scene circulating to rewatch yet, only the clocktower. Other than that, everything is accurate.

#critical role #cr c3 #critical role spoilers #bells hells #cr spoilers #callowmoore #fearne calloway #ashton greymoore #talisen jaffe #c3e77