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mysticalmusicwhispers · 3 years

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hey,,,your thoughts and headcanons on indchuran college au 😳😳😳😳😳(i am very predictable as per usual)

o-o o-o college aus have my heart so thank you for the ask! These turned out as platonic/general hcs but I hope you like them nonetheless! (also this isn’t really associated with any set AU and is separate from the indchuran bros for life AU)

notes: this is based on the little I know about how US colleges/universities work ahahah sorry for any inaccuracies lol

— They’re all in the same year, and China and India got put in a dorm together with Iran next door (oh my god they were roommates ;) )

— They meet when Roshan heard Aditya’s got a copy of a book they wanted, went over to borrow it, and found Aditya trolling Yao with meme songs while the latter was wearing headphones and trying to study (this is kinda half assed and I don’t think it’s funny enough so if you’ve got another meeting scenario please do tell 👀)

— Yao’s fashion is a hot mess, per usual. It’s half lazy college student wear and half blinding eye-strain. Sometimes he still goes edgelord mode and does dark colors and goth attire when he’s particularly annoyed or grumpy (in addition to threatening to evict Aditya/steal all his possessions if he’s bugging Yao); Aditya and Roshan just coo at this.

— Roshan dresses very eccentrically. I think it’s called the art hoe aesthetic? They dress like an art student but pick even more outlandish outfits. But it’s elegant in an eye-catching way, and it makes them stand out a lot. They like it and also love the attention it gets them :) also Roshan would be an amazing person to ask for clothing opinions, except that they might criticize your current outfits too much hksdfsdf

— As for Aditya, I don’t really have a set image for him really? lol I'd give anything to see him dressed in some kind of academia aesthetic (glasses are a bonus), but I feel like his style is more casual and comfy? just average person casual shirts and hoodies. Still knows how to pick good outfits though, but makes awful decisions when in the wrong headspace (like being Severely sleep deprived)

— Yao either studies a) business b) politics c) game theory d) a mix of all three (overachiever). I think he’d also take some of those like, quantum math classes and stuff just to ~expand his horizons~ and ends up taking enough to get a minor in that. Also absorbs STEM stuff from other people although he never went that route :\

— Roshan studies art history! They’re wicked at math as well though, I think they’d definitely be interested in studying pure mathematics as either a minor or a fun side hobby.

— Aditya minors in literature/creative writing and regularly waxes poetic about life. He also complains about the school cafeteria food in flowery prose. Yao yells at him to just make food himself if it’s so bad, but it’s too much effort 😔 (this is literally me)

I’m still undecided on what he majors in, but for now I’m stealing your hc that it’s biophysics :>

— Yao’s tried dabbling in stocks as part class project and part personal side hobby; one of his professors probably helps him with this, and somehow he gets a lot of money even though he invests in some very questionable things that look like shitpost material

— Courtesy of talking with @luyous, these three competitively study during midterms/finals season. They hardcore compete to get the best grades, even though they’re in different majors, and literally. the temperature heats up a couple degrees in the dorm when they’re revising because they all want to “beat” the other two 😭

— Literally they’re such bookworms but have a thirst for being The Best 😔

— Yao has a shit sleep schedule and both Aditya and Roshan have called him out on this multiple times; Aditya more often because they share a room and it’s kind of annoying when your roommate’s desk lamp is still on at 3 AM while you’re supposed to be sleeping. He eventually bought an eye mask for this but still has to forcibly drag Yao to bed at least once a week.

— Aditya is the resident boomer and tech hoe (although he fools around on the computer more than he does useful stuff) inspiration from you raunak <3

— Roshan and Aditya once tricked Yao into watering a fake plant they bought from Target for a full five months :) They keep a log of the shenanigans on their respective social medias as proof <3

— Roshan has a windowsill with a line of very cute potted plants! It’s very aesthetic and they show them off to anyone who asks. Don’t touch though because the plants are their babies

— Aditya sings very well! Has perfect pitch and all that. Does karaoke nights with friends, drags Yao along even though all he does there is type away on his laptop (and sometimes glances up to simp for Aditya). Often prank calls acquaintances, occasionally with Roshan, because he’s also pretty good at voice acting

— Out of the three, Aditya’s probably the friendliest if you’re a stranger, but it do be hard trying to build a friendship with any of them 😔 yao’s condescending to strangers and it takes some time to crack him if you don’t come off as quick-witted and smart on the first try, Roshan doesn’t really take people they just met super seriously unless they can impress/charm them, Aditya’s flashy but is kinda flaky and sometimes talks down to you and seems to always have something else to do besides hanging out one on one unless you win his respect. They’re good with each other though, occasional spats are mostly misunderstandings unless there’s Too Much miscommunication going on

— They’re all kinda legends for academic achievements. Roshan probably got a paper published in some vaunted journal about idk, changing methods of making pottery in ancient Iran or something; Yao has his stocks (and is also kinda rich in the first place so he’s “famous” before that) and Aditya probably got an internship or opportunity to do lab work for a cutting edge research thing

— they no-homo each other all the time it’s insane. It doesn’t help that they’re in close quarters (Yao and Aditya being roommates and Roshan right next door) so it’s like, accidentally wearing the other’s clothes, stealing snacks, so much touching and closeness lol classic pining material

— Yao jokes at least once a day that Roshan is just a parasite of his and Aditya’s dorm, with the amount of time they spend in there instead of in their own dorm, but they sniff haughtily and say that at least their dorm is much more organized than whatever indchu have going on (it’s true; Yao believes in organized chaos and pretends his organization system is having No Organization; Aditya just does whatever he wants and “anyways I’ll find it when I need it”, Roshan is the only sane one here)

— Roshan drinks tea religiously (all three of them do, but Yao chugs energy drinks sometimes, Aditya binges coffee when needed, whereas Roshan’s solution is tea)

— They’re kinda chaotic but it’s fine they’ll make it through uni :)

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a-very-fond-farewell · 4 years

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The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 18/?

University AU: “Negative Space”

[ok so, self projection is a bitch, but I am petty to myself on a regular basis so it’s ok]

[title is from the Japanese concept “ma”, which Wikipedia describes as:

“a Japanese word which can be roughly translated as ‘gap’, ‘space’, ‘pause’ or ‘the space between two structural parts.’ In traditional Japanese arts and culture, ma is more carefully defined as the suggestion of an interval. It is best described as a consciousness of a sense of place, with the ‘intervals’ suggested often being more than simple gaps, instead focusing on the intention of a negative space in an art piece.

Ma is not necessarily an art concept created by compositional elements, such as the literal existence of a negative space. Instead, the intention is often to create the perception of an interval in the viewer experiencing the elements forming an art piece, making maless reliant on the existence of a gap, and more closely related to the perceived experience of a gap.

Ma has also been described as ‘an emptiness full of possibilities, like a promise yet to be fulfilled’, and as ‘the silence between the notes which make the music’.”

Fun fact: “ma” also means “but” in Italian, which is what usually follows whatever intrusive thought may plague my mind. Eg: “I may be useless now, BUT just you wait until I get some dopamine to get me through this shitty times.”]

Wei Ying never asked for much in his life. He’s content with cleaning classrooms and toilets and nobody can beat him at wiping the marble floors if he works hard enough. Granny Wen, his supervisor, is slightly impressed with his ability to make the wood shine for ages to come. His nephew Jin Ling sometimes comes to check on him when he’s done with senior classes or cram school in the evening, and together they sit down and listen to whatever his older friends in music production came up with during the day. Jiang Cheng occasionally would ask him to keep him company while he grades papers and they bitch about ZiXuan and his inability to dote on their sister. The cafeteria ladies are always nice to him and they give him extra congee because they worry for his questionable consumption of spice products.

He’s fine, really.

So why can’t he stop wandering over to the science building these days? Looking for a clean board to use, for an equation to finally solve? Even if in the end he just takes the chalk in hand and simply stares down at the inky surface in front of him, unable to write. His mind working on a software too advanced for the hardware that constitutes his brain.

Thirteen years. It has been already thirteen years and yet it feels like yesterday, or like it never happened at all. Like it has yet to be. Time blindness is a bitch to deal with, yet dyscalculia and ADHD makes a joke out of you when you love math on a visceral level... but you burned too bright too fast and now you function on no data and with an even shittier signal. Having a burnout at 23 should have taught him humility instead of pride, but Wei Ying has always worked out of spite and certain habits are difficult to forget.

Couldn’t put the number in the right order, switching digits left and right since he was young? Fine. Numbers were concepts anyway, entire civilizations working their magic without even knowing what “zero” stood for. A brain steaming with a million ideas per second? Good. New connections brimming with ideas he could use to better the world.

It worked fine until he let himself down. Until he became a useless empty lighter, a wet match tossed out, carbon monoxide in the air.

Dropped out before finishing his very ambitious, highly dangerous for his psyche, thesis project. Aunt Yu never forgave him for that, not after paying for his advanced classes, not after trusting Uncle Jiang and supporting him despite his many flaws. What good is being first of your class every year, poster child of a teaching system done right, graduating bachelor at 21, if you can’t finish your master at 23 and get your PhD at 25 and start teaching by 27 and drive yourself insane in the process?

Wei Ying dropped out and didn’t finish his master, didn’t enroll in the teaching program, and let everyone down. His Uncle and Aunt looking down on him, whether out of pity or shame. Jiang Cheng may have been the one leaving him behind, but he used to be the one saying “you should have tried harder”. YanLi worrying over him when she should have focused on her career first. Jin Ling growing up with stories of his uncle “not being worth the money put into his education”, taught to not disappoint and make his family proud. The Jin side, that is.

And now the kid comes crawling in defeat to him instead of Jiang Cheng after bombing a test in high school. And they chat of what he would like to do and how much he likes sports and how much he despises the idea of getting a scholarship for that and being called stupid or something by his classmates. And he cries when he thinks Wei Ying cannot see him as he leaves the campus late at night.

Wei Ying didn’t even want to solve that impossible theorem he fixated on in his early twenties. His thesis project was inconsequential in the great scheme of things and his professor only wanted him to be his one trick pony in the end. No. Wei Ying wanted to teach math in elementary school, hell... even in kindergarten. He wanted to change the approach to the subject. Because numbers cannot be taught like language is and there are many ways to teach how to sum up digits and divide quantities and there are no rules on how to make sense of space either.

But how can he teach when even time eludes his senses?

Something that nobody can define, but certainly most perceive as linear... but not him. Not since his brain fried up in his attempt to function like a normal human being.

After thirteen years nothing has changed.

Until one day he hears something else aside from his usual intrusive thoughts and burdensome memories. A melody so quiet he almost mistakes it for the wind, coming from the music building.

He walks slowly, night surrounding him like the embrace of a friend as he makes his way to the traditional musical instruments room. The one where Jin Ling’s friends meet sometimes as they wait for the younger boy to join them. Wei Ying holds his breath as he spies through the gap of the door left ajar, neon light slicing his face like moonbeams as he peeks in and recognizes Jin Ling’s friends and another figure sitting on the ground, guqin on their knees.

But before he can lean in and breathe in the vibrant sounds all around, the door opens and music theory Professor Lan finds Wei Ying clutching his mop for dear life.

They said the man could see colors within the notes, that he despises language outside of his class or office and that only his brother, the history of art TA, could convince him to talk every now and then.

If numbers were created to measure space, Wei Ying firmly believed music had been invented to make sense of time and count its seconds in rhythm and notes, pauses and beats. Yet, time seems to stretch to a stop as the janitor focuses all of his attention on professor Lan’s stern face and his heart quickens its pace.

Wei Ying takes a rushed breath and dives right in with a weird sense of hope pumping in his veins. A small, timid voice whispering that life is not made to be atoned, but to move on and grow.

One step at a time.

“I’m Wei Ying, Professor Lan. May I listen while you play?”

Yes, maybe it will be enough just to let time flow at its pace.

Whatever rhythm that may be.

[some hcs down below]

WWX does not magically solve the math theorem. he may or may not help kids figure out how to use numbers on the long run tho. no, he will still work as a janitor and there’s nothing wrong with that.

yes, LWJ is autistic and stimms and finds WWX’s honesty soothing. yes, you can add your hcs on the matter. he has synesthesia, but more on the grapheme-color side of the deal than anything else and he sees certain letters/numbers/notes in different colors. people think he can see colors in music, but they misunderstood and thought he could recognize different hues while listening to music instead of reading it.

JC has grown since his uni years and doesn’t resent WWX anymore. he teaches astrophysics as a TA and doesn’t pressure his brother to pick his studies up anymore. WWX has mixed feelings about this: he feels he’s a lost cause, to the point not even his brother spurs him to best himself anymore, but he is grateful for the patience anyway.

LXC is the official LWJ translator of the campus along with their cousins SiZhui and JinGyi. he bonds with WWX and JC over how tired they are, seldom staring at flies roaming above them in the cafeteria bc none of them can even move. he lives on caffeine and regrets, but he’s getting better as he develops a love for his plant babies and tries to not let them die on a daily basis.

Wen Ning and Wen Qing are little overachievers and adrenaline junkies, hence their competitive streak on their way to their third master degree just for funsies. they scare people with how driven they are, but the juniors love them.

NMJ is the one to go to if you need to get away with murder, but JGY will actually be the one helping you dispose of the body. the fact that they both work in criminal law is somewhat both reassuring and disquieting. they hate each other and yet cannot stop hang out, they are close to 40 and need the rivalry to keep going anyway. nothing beats a good nemesis. not even sex. maybe.

NHS has failed his entrance exam to become a nurse too many times to count, but he is determined to see the end of it. even if he could potentially work in the family business, but he doesn’t know anything about managing an empire of bricks and he doesn’t care. if NMJ could run away, well, so can he.

MianMian is Wei Ying’s bestie and has the biggest crush on JGY’s sister A-Su the kindergarten teacher, but since they are childhood besties she doesn’t know how to approach her. she is Jin Ling’s idol and a certified boxer and refers to herself as a useless bisexual. Wei Ying boxes with her sometimes, she always win.

YanLi is an equestrian mum, but in the best way possible: she coaches children for shows and teaches them horses should be loved and feared equally and that if you want to shoot arrows from a running horse you should always, ALWAYS let go of the stirrups the moment the beast gets too unhinged to ride. JC fears her, WWX is only glad she didn’t train police dogs for a living.

ZiXuan actually loves his wife, but WWX and JC question his career choices and the fact that he’s a retired lawyer spending his family fortune while he’s a stay-at-home dad and does all the housework. WWX and JC believe he should give their sister a better life and work his ass off to deserve her, but he does make amazing rice cakes and keeps up with Jin Ling’s studies and is very supportive of his dreams.

A-Qing and Song Lan are siblings and sometimes bring JC food from the campus cafeteria where they both work at, while Xiao XingChen and his carer Xue Yang work with LXC for a project on accessibility for visually impaired visitors of the local museum. JC and LXC work to make Song Lan and Xiao XingChen fall for each other, but the youngsters are too protective to let them play matchmaker so easily.

[this is all for now. please, if you want, add your own headcanons!]

#mdzs #cql #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #mdzs/au: modern #mdzs/au: uni #the forbidden crack! untamed prompts #nieyao #xicheng #wangxian

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arcticdementor · 4 years

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My first reaction to the work of Barbara Ehrenreich was one of complete indignation and contempt. A professor had assigned Ehrenreich’s book Nickel and Dimed (2001) for an English prerequisite at my commuter college—the urban satellite campus for two major universities intended to cater to low-income and nontraditional students. (Go Jaguars!) The book was a committed work of first-person journalism premised on a compelling challenge: to “see whether or not I could match income to expenses, as the truly poor attempt to do every day.” What Ehrenreich “revealed” was the constant struggle to make ends meet, a total lack of security in employment, housing, and resources, declining health from backbreaking work, and the endless humiliations of the American blue-collar worker.

About half of the people in my class were actually “college age,” while the rest were older students with jobs and often children, but not necessarily any higher education under their belt. It was a night class, and when the professor looked around the sparsely populated room, it was usually missing one or two mothers who couldn’t find childcare that evening. Once someone stumbled over a desk, knocking a pile of books to the floor. One of my classmates—an active service member on leave—responded to the din by instinctively dropping to the ground in compliance with his training and/or PTSD. Sometimes children colored outside the classroom or students left early to go to their night shifts. Needless to say, most of us found the book boring and its “revelations” laughable. This is not to say it was an unpleasant experience, as it gave us the rare and delicious opportunity to scorn and scoff at the ignorance of the educated. But we were not impressed, to say the least.

It was years later that a friend explained to me that Nickel and Dimed was in fact a revelation, just not for socialists. “Well yeah,” she said matter-of-factly, “that book wasn’t for us, it was for professional‑managerial-class liberals.” This wasn’t my first exposure to the phrase “professional managerial class” (PMC), but it was the first time the distinction seemed so sociologically significant as to force me to revise my opinion of Ehrenreich’s work. Is she a progressive liberal whisperer, spreading the gospel of class politics to the PMC? Is such a task even a worthwhile endeavor?

…

The PMC is a somewhat mushy category. Its defenders and denialists, particularly in academia and the legacy media, often like to include such beloved professions as public school teachers and nurses among its ranks, a wishful idea of inherent fellowship among the college-educated. But such a loose classification conveniently ignores the “managerial” part of PMC. True PMC personnel exercise influence in the management of institutions. College professors, for example, have a role in managing the university—although this is certainly less so as higher education neoliberalizes (as adjuncts fill the jobs once held by tenured professors, and administrators and donors control more university operations than ever before). Still, tenured professors and administrators have a hand in the management of the middle-class labor force, including who gets to enter it. Nurses, meanwhile, don’t actually manage patients (who under privatized medicine are reduced to customers), and rarely manage much of the hospital. Likewise, public school teachers don’t actually manage their students so much as provide a service for them, and are managed almost completely by non-teacher administrations.

Squishy and permeable as it may be, PMC is still a useful term for the class of professional managers, regardless of all the disingenuous and pedantic protest. Ehrenreich, of course, was not the first to recognize or define the managers among the middle class. There was David Riesman’s The Lonely Crowd, C. Wright Mills’s White Collar: The American Middle Class, and the debates between Erik Olin Wright and Nicos Poulantzas, to name a few. But Ehrenreich set out not simply to define and locate the professional managerial class, but specifically to interrogate its own self-awareness. As she writes in the introduction to Fear of Falling, “This book is about what could be called the class consciousness of the professional middle class, and how this consciousness has developed over the past three decades.”

This class consciousness, however, has been notoriously avoided by the professional middle classes themselves. In his 1976 “Notes and Commentary on the Irresistibility of the Petty Bourgeoisie,” German author (and who is better equipped to articulate the formal barriers of professionalization than a real-life veteran of the Hitler Youth?) Hans Magnus Enzensberger argued that the managerial class could be defined precisely by its inability to attain consciousness of itself as a class.

…

Proving Enzensberger’s point, the very existence of a professional managerial class is often most controversial among the sort of left-wing intellectuals who might fit the description. Take for example David Sessions’s recent Jacobin article, “The Right’s Phony Class War,” in which he rejects the “mythical managerial class” as a right-wing boogeyman conspiracy theory, referring to it as “a pseudo-sociology that pits an ambiguous ‘managerial’ or ‘cosmopolitan’ ruling class against the rest of the country—and lets the people who actually hold political and economic power off the hook.” (It’s worth noting here that theorists of the PMC do not consider it a “ruling class” by definition, but rather a category with a relationship to capital that is distinguishable from both capitalist and worker.)

By contrast, Ehrenreich made no bones about exposing the ideology of her own frenetic class. And like Enzensberger, Ehrenreich understood the importance of such a class’s apparent instability in the midst of the ongoing class war. Enzensberger believed that the center could not hold, that some of the middle class would join the “goats” of capitalism, while most would eventually be proletarianized with the “sheep,” and “reap the fruits of socialism.” Such an outcome had not come to pass when Enzensberger was writing, leaving him to contemplate the inscrutable resilience of the professional middle class.

His conclusion was that the middle classes—by virtue (or sin, if you prefer) of their position as a “multiply articulated assemblage”—retained an “adaptability” or “characterless opportunism.” His description of this ethos was damning: “Never to take a final stand and to seize every possibility: those are the only lessons that the class has learned from its variegated history.” This “adaptability” had occasionally led the PMC to progressive politics, as has occurred recently, but, he observed, this is not a fixed feature so much as a strategy that lends credibility to its secure role as the architects of cultural hegemony.

Or, rather, seemingly secure role. It turns out that all Enzensberger had to do was wait a bit longer.

…

The root of this neurosis was the historic ambivalence and dread with which the class understood itself as a tenuous “elite” that may or may not succeed in reproducing itself as a class. (Unlike other classes, each generation of the PMC had to earn its status through educational credentialing, qualifying employment, and professional achievement.) As the shock troops of Taylorism, it was as if the PMC always knew on some level that Taylorism would come for it one day as well. Later we learned that these insecurities were justified and that the “fear of falling” was a valid concern: the PMC Ehrenreich described in 1989 was a bubble, a temporary postwar glitch.

…

It seems to me that Ehrenreich has answered her own question here. The PMC have been—at best—fair-weather friends to the working class, and at worst have been even more devious exploiters by dint of their “liberal” credibility. As the class which ushered in neoliberalism, I would denounce the crimes of the PMC far more forcefully than Ehrenreich.

When the PMC are flying high, their middle-class liberal initiatives to combat poverty have been inhumanely punitive and ineffectual: policies like prohibition, eugenics, and broken-windows policing come to mind. On the institutional level, liberal think tanks like the Center for American Progress and wealthy NGOs like the Gates and Ford Foundations have reliably pushed for neoliberal policies and private sector solutions to poverty, conveniently avoiding expropriation, redistribution, and universal public programs and services.

…

So I do not weep for this sinking ship, and would instead save my tears for the members of the working class, who have been left with the check, though they may now include a number of recent PMC exiles. Which leads me to the more practical question: Will a sizable number of these erstwhile PMC join the sheep? Or will most of them instead identify with the goats, following Steinbeck’s pathetic “temporarily embarrassed millionaires”? Or will they find no class consciousness at all, drifting into lumpen listlessness, atomized from both flock and herd?

…

I am still at times asked to speak at DSA events, including a recent one for the DSA Tech Action Working Group—a decidedly PMC collection of DSA members working in tech. Inspired by Google software engineer James Damore’s infamous “anti-diversity memo,” the subject I was to speak on was “diversity in tech.” The friend who asked me to speak rightly recognized that the tech industry is no longer a small cabal of entrepreneurial specialists but is increasingly expanding into a global labor force of workers—from petit bourgeois to prole, if you will.

I cannot, however, say I found many examples of such workers at this event. Multiple representatives from HR departments spoke up, one to say that “it’s all about hiring practices,” and to urge the attendees to come to HR whenever they had a problem. One woman wanted to read a long academic article about a typesetters’ union fighting automation and other changes that would open the floodgates for underpaid, largely female scab labor. She was under the impression that this exposed the sexist nature of trade unions.

The crowd was very “diverse” in all the Ikea commercial ways that warm our Coca-Cola liberal hearts, but some of the most insightful observations came from the bearded and (presumably) cishet white males. One timidly put forth that “HR actually works for management,” while another recognized that the biggest source of “diversity” in the tech industry is highly exploited third-world call-center workers.

At first glance, the superior class consciousness of the beardy white male tech bro may appear counterintuitive, but it is a function of tech industry managerialism that he has a better view of class conflict. As an industry, tech has thoroughly absorbed “diversity” into its corporate culture and HR programming, for both legal liability and liberal credibility reasons. If you’re a woman and/or minority working for Google and your job is miserable, you are told by the whole world—and by your employer itself—that this is because you are a woman and/or minority. But, you are also told, your employer is here with sensitivity trainings, diversity initiatives, and at-will firing practices (you know, for the bad employees) to remedy all of that and to build a better work environment and, thereby, a more egalitarian world. If, however, you are a straight white man working for Google and your job is miserable, you know it’s because your job is miserable, and the company isn’t there to help you. Liberal identitarian HR obfuscations don’t work as well on exploited and precarious dude-bros.

The evening culminated during the Q and A, wherein a woman earnestly asked, “What do I do if some alt-right guy wants to be in the union?”

Visibly vexed, I replied that if an alt-right guy wants to be in your union, you won.

This statement was met with noticeable consternation, so I went on to explain that you want everyone in the union because the end goal is a closed shop. I explained that this is the very premise of a union: it is not a social club for people of shared progressive values; it’s a shared struggle, and collective politics are the only thing that can actually break down all that office bigotry you’re so concerned about. She did not appear convinced.

I use this particular anecdote to illustrate the obstacles to building a socialist PMC, but I have many others (particularly in the recent spate of white collar unionism), and herein lies the tragic irony of the great middle class exodus: even when they fall, and even when they find themselves in “Left spaces,” they are still too proximal to management—or at least believe themselves to be—to imagine much beyond human resources liberalism. Very frequently, they view blue-collar workers as inherently illiberal antagonists. (Just look at the response to the failed Clinton campaign by prominent members of the liberal media and academia, who have finally answered their favorite old canard of “Why do the working class vote against their own interests?” with accusations of innate bigotry and misogyny.)

Many dedicated socialists of the professional managerial class, from Ehrenreich to my friend who organized this event, have historically overestimated the degree to which “liberals” can—or ever really did—benefit working-class Americans. Instead, most PMC liberals tend to project their own interests onto the working class, in order to legitimize their decidedly middle-class ambitions (say, a corner office and stock options at a tech firm) through progressive politics. Thus, when middle-class fellow travelers hear the phrase “liberal elite” to refer to the progressive PMC, they assume it can be nothing more than a dog whistle, meant to incite working-class resentment against themselves. Sessions’s Jacobin article offers an explicit example of this mindset, though Fear of Falling, too, at times protests too much against the right-wing populism that makes hay by criticizing a supposedly mythical “liberal elite.”

…

It’s fair to say that the PMC’s paternalistic contempt for the working classes has been well documented, including by Ehrenreich herself, but what PMC intellectuals often fail to grasp is how much members of this class also hate one another. The PMC has historically had very little class solidarity (McCarthyism comes to mind), and their recent proletarianization—exacerbated by a hypercompetitive job market, atomization, remote work, precarity, internet social dynamics, professionalization, Taylorism, etc.—has done nothing to suppress their desire to eat their own. Ehrenreich herself recently experienced this cannibalism firsthand.

…

I’ve said before that expropriating Yale and Harvard and converting them into public institutions would be a victory in the class war. But the small liberal arts colleges of the PMC—the Reeds, Wesleyans, and Oberlins—they may actually need to be burned down.

…

Middle-class liberal Remoaners have somehow branded bourgeois cosmopolitanism as Left internationalism, throwing the Corbyn campaign under the bus for the sake of an unaccountable capitalist cabal. They’re currently attacking the Labour Party “from the Left,” some because they have mistaken the European Union for the Comintern, and some merely to keep their holidays in Mykonos convenient (not to mention mysteriously affordable these days). Many former Sanders supporters—most notably in “Left media”—have jumped ship, or attempt to play both sides, claiming to favor more “electable” candidates as they pander to liberal and identitarian hacks in the media and the Democratic Party. Socialists mistake the middle-class progressive for the comrade at our own risk; a foundation that relies too heavily on the ranks of this nervous, fickle class is doomed to crack and crumble, along with anything we try to build on top of it.

…

The PMC can—and should—be brought to commit to its own abolition, but attempting to evangelize a class that has so much difficulty even acknowledging its own existence is a futile endeavor. At this rare and fragile moment of opportunity for socialism in America, the best bet for Berniecrats is to build a strong base of workers committed to social democratic reforms. The PMC will follow, as they always do; they’re the cart, not the horse.

#Amber A'Lee Fronst #american affairs #read the whole thing #interesting perspective #professional managerial class #class politics

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sunfish999 · 6 years

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Types of People, Kpop ver.

tag yourself haha enjoy

BTS

enjoy Starbucks, typically get an Americano. actually like snakes and most animals. read fantasy romance novels, and that goes for movies as well. when gardening, they prefer flowers, and like the aesthetic of a color scheme. “I’m in love with Khalid”. yellow walls, acrylic paints on wood. starry nights and writing fanfiction at 4:30am. can be bossy but is logical and fair when making decisions. screams at the tv during sports games.

BAP

stealing roses from a neighbors garden. passionate about anything they set their minds to. is sort of basic but in a cute way. lying in bed all day, quilts made by a grandmother. orange lotus soap with a basil scent. writing song lyrics or sheet music, playing the ukelele painted with flowers by your best friend. listens to depressing emo music but somehow it motivates them. cliche daydreams about crushes, can’t get over them even after being rejected. frilly socks and black tights. chipped purple nail polish.

VIXX

very sweet, into astrology. carries a picture of their little nephew in a leather wallet. clear phone case with the space gray iphone 8. likes holding hands with family members, friends, and lovers. lives near the ocean and always has sand between their toes. salty hair. a fresh, lemon scent with a hint of lavender. prefers pinterest over tumblr. “Jon Bellion is SO underrated”. very organized but has lots of things. black doc martens with doodles in gel pen. carries unscented chapstick everywhere.

MONSTA X

tries to be an emo kid but really isn’t. has a lot of money but saves it all for ‘charity’ or ‘college’. aces school but always sleeps in class. mcdonalds all the way. laying in the grass on a sunny day. has some acne but is beautiful anyway. your average alternative music taste. down to earth, grows vegetables for their families. upside down herbs hanging from the kitchen window. is super athletic and most likely plays basketball. really good hearing but can’t see for shit. round glasses that are mismatched.

EXO

singing in the shower, loudly, along with the music on your ipod. brushing your teeth with kids crest toothpaste. lives in jumpsuits and denim jackets. no one knows but they hate the dark. horror movies ftw. an entire shelf in their bedroom is dedicated to plushies. “yes i have to stand on this chair to take a picture of my food”. family camping trips every summer. plays the clarinet and looks forward to band camp. blasts lofi chill hop music whenever they’re in need of inspiration. pretty hands, no piercings. lives for doing anything with other people, will never hesitate to help out someone in need.

SHINEE

super nostalgic, keeps a memory box and still talks to childhood friends. That One Mom Friend. wants to major in psychology. keeps a dream journal and has a tumblr dedicated to psychic research. talks to their dog more than people. huge fluffy white comforter. listens to country music. likes the moments when it’s raining but the sun is out, and most wait for a rainbow but it never appears. doodles on your arms in crayola markers. cheetah print parkas are the way to go in winter. could be in a roller derby or bowling league.

GOT7

opening a window during a thunderstorm and just listening. forgetting to write in their diary. pressed wildflowers that are ugly to some but pretty to them. black fountain pens and nothing else. brings a smoothie to class every morning but never forgets fries at lunch. indie music is their jam. covers up the dark circles under their eyes with concealer, since they stay up until 3am. sleeping in super late on weekends and finally feeling refreshed. star of the soccer team and the lead role in the school musical. clumsy but charming. love at first sight.

NCT

making pinterest foodie recipes. prints out wikihow pages and keeps them in a notebook with them at all times. could read steven king at night without getting scared. screeches at jump scares but cradles spiders. is the world flat? probably does ballet or works out 24/7. keeps potted plants on their windowsill but can’t figure out why they keep dying. never turns the fan on while showering and then draws figures on the glass. drake is my spirit animal. phone is always at 80% but they never bring a charger anywhere. makes you go on the biggest ride at amusement parks or the biggest slide at waterparks. risk-takers and daredevils.

BIGBANG

ironically, watches the big bang theory. and the office. and parks and rec. along with friends. they really enjoy buttery popcorn but skip the salt. listens to 80s music. just above passing grades, hate attention. likes drawing with charcoal on big sketchpads. backhugs for their lover, kisses that send shivers up your spine. silver ring on their middle finger, wears a plaid fannypack everywhere. loves making jokes and is a living meme. lives on a large campus at the uni, works out with friends and is enemies with their roommate. eyebrow piercings and no-makeup makeup. carries a water bottle everywhere.

DAY6

works hard in school and their grades reflect that. has social anxiety but no one knows. pretty posters tacked on the walls. graffiti on the bathroom stalls and on train cars. champion chalk artist. always gets ice cream in a dish. two spoons, they love to share. sitting on the roof of a skyscraper and looking at how awake the city is. thrift store shopping. loves reading biographies and watching documentaries. listens to classic rock.

TWICE

a cat fanatic. watches sherlock, doctor who, and supernatural. is a total geek. makes theories on every tv show ever. can’t fall asleep at night thinking about government conspiracies. gasps when people say they haven’t watched every star wars or read harry potter. “you mean to tell me you don’t know who BILBO BAGGINS is??” stargazing on the roof of your house. spilling tea on your sweater but just shrugging it off. will probably be a best selling author one day. smiles and says ‘have a great day!’ to everyone they see. the guardians of the galaxy soundtrack is everything anyone ever needed.

LOONA

has a favorite poet. cringes at their freshman year GPA of 3.7. listens to podcasts. carries around an almost ripped rucksack so stuffed with books it’s a miracle it hasn’t burst yet. wants to major in philosophy but minor in math. works in a cafe that sells pastries. studies while perched on cushions that cover the floor of their room. falls asleep in random places. owns a pet bird. sings while baking cookies and played the flute in seventh grade. is fluent in french.

BLACKPINK

is into photography. annoys a lot of people but doesn’t let it bother them. smells like sweet perfume. idolizes Audrey Hepburn and owns a book about elegance. it’s on their coffee table. likes vintage hats and wears lace bralettes under everything. owns a record player that continuously plays classic piano records from goodwill. feels like they were born in the wrong generation. tries to capture their emotions with a camera. picks daisies and is an expert at making flower crowns.

RED VELVET

has a sweet tooth. likes cookies and cakes and candies. desperately wants to travel to london. has an art instagram where they post calligraphy. plays card games every saturday. mornings in the saddle and stroking their horse. collects the eggs from their chickens each morning to make omelets. has quote decals on their walls. dazzling white smile and red lipstick. works as a nanny for the kids down the street. is always tired. listens to slow love songs and teaches ballroom dancing and waltzes.

F(X)

is cool and they know it. pulls all nighters with ease, handles alcohol well. takes risks only because they have nothing to lose. is dissatisfied with life. predicted their own death and has written their will already. sells old notes and tests to younger students, as well as being an irish literature tutor. likes reading shakespeare. is the heartthrob of the school. stares out the window during class but can answer whatever question the teacher asks. ripped jeans and fishnets is a winning combination. is a black belt in taekwondo. only ever drinks hot chocolate.

i don’t even know what half of these mean but tag yourself lmao this took years its 3:01am

#kpop #bts #bap #monsta x #got7 #vixx #exo #shinee #nct #bigbang #day6 #twice #loona #red velvet #fx #blackpink #types of people #i dont even know #tag yourself

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gristlegrinder · 6 years

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tagged by @sainterly hello!! i’m so sorry, i told myself i was going to do this and then immediately forgot until i found it in my likes again, like, a month later. rules : answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to know better tagging: .................nobody because i’m an awkward mess

under a cut because I’m not good at being concise

(A)ge: 19

(B)irthplace: New York!

(C)urrent Time: …8 in the morning. I haven’t slept.

(D)rink You Had Last: I, uh, had one of hose starbucks doubleshot energy things around 9PM last night. yes, this is connected to the last answer. it was delicious and worth it.

(E)asiest Person To Talk To: Hm, depends? There’s a lot of people who fit this bill, but if I’m gonna be honest the answer is prooobably myself just because I’m one of those people who talks to myself constantly whenever I’m trying to work things out.

(F)avorite Song: Well, The Past Is A Grotesque Animal, definitely. Recently, I’ve been in love with Homecoming Serf, Fuel, I Listened, Proof, and Holy Water.

Not necessarily my favorite songs, but I recently made a playlist for my tabletop group and it’s got a lot of current lex bangers on it. And A Woman, A Woman, A Century Of Sleep has been today’s loop-on-repeat track, so that counts for something.

(...I’m bad at answering this question.)

(G)rossest Memory: Surprisingly, I don’t have a lot of these? Coming up with one is hard. I dropped a can of soda on my foot when I was eight and I remember one of my toes having this really nasty purple bruise for a week afterwards, I guess?

(H)ogwarts House: I was a self-identified Ravenclaw for the longest time, but recently I was re-housed into Gryffindor. And I’ve moved far, far enough past my pretentious “ew gryffindors are all fake fans of HP who just like it because it’s the ‘good guy’ house” phase to absolutely embrace this switch.

(I)n Love?: I’m not gonna @ them here but I love my girlfriend!! Nin’s a babe

(J)ealous Of People?: Yeah, that sort of happens. But I’m trying to get better at reminding myself that it’s ultimately useless to hold myself up to other people.

(K)illed Someone?: ;) only past iterations of myself!! existence ain’t permanent

(L)ove At First Sight or Walk By Again?: Both are probably bad ways to approach relationships tbh.

(M)iddle Name: I hate it, so we’re not mentioning it.

(N)umber Of Siblings : 2-4 depending on how you see it! Two half brothers, two stepsiblings (our parents have since divorced, but we still chill and see each other as kinda-siblings, it’s complicated).

(O)ne Wish: Certain individuals currently associated with America can drop dead finally, and also maybe I finally work up the damn courage to start bugging people about uh, religious conversion things and uh, therapy.

(P)erson You Last Called: Probably my dad.

(Q)uestions You’re Asked The Most: I get a lot of surprised you’re nineteen?!s from classmates / parents’ friends / online people, but I don’t know if that counts. Then, like, generic questions about how school’s going, I think.

(R)easons To Smile: I move back up to uni at the end of the month, and I’ll be living alone! My classes next semester are all really fun! Audio/Video Production, Film History 1895-1950, Film Theory. I’m finally making progress towards getting my driver’s license!

(S)ong You Last Sang: When I’m home alone, I’m basically jamming out nonstop, so:

— Q.U.E.E.N. has been stuck in my head for days.

— Guardians has been my muse for a character I’ve been designing? so it gets mumbled-under-my-breath-sung a lot.

— The Dismemberment Song is probably just my favorite thing to belt at the top of my lungs. in general.

(T)ime You Woke Up: …………uh, see previous answers, because I still haven’t slept, (as for yesterday, I woke up around noon).

(U)nderwear Color: I never really cared for “what color is your underwear” questions on a get to know me meme (but teal).

(V)acation Destination: I’m going to Seattle in three weeks for a couple days! Really excited because the tabletop game I run is set there, so it’ll be cool to see some of the places I have as plot points. And a friend’s got me excited for the thought of doing a road trip across America after we graduate. Biggest dream travel spots are Liverpool (points at my gf), St Petersburg, Tokyo, and Antarctica, though.

(W)orst Habit: Saying I’m going to do things and then the ADHD brain crashes for like, a week, and all of the things I need to do pile up and then I don’t get to any of them. Also forgetting to reply to skype/discord/etc messages.

(X)-rays?: I’ve never broken a bone in my body, or really ever been hospitalized as far as I can remember.

(Y)our Favorite Food: Cochinita pibil (which is a Yucatán slow-roasted pulled pork marinated in Seville oranges, it’s good shit), biscuits (sausage gravy optional), lately I’ve been craving cocktail shrimp.

(Z)odiac Sign: Libra!

#lex.txt #i promise i still think you're cool and want to chat more i'm just so so bad at this

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warmau · 7 years

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{Special} College!AU Doyoung

major: pre-law / concentration: business law

minor: comparative literature

sports: sometimes he says he’ll join tennis team to be closer to taeyong and taeyong begs him not to do that. anything but that.

clubs: book review club, uni orchestra

everyone knows doyoung as a talker, he talks really well and no matter what he never seems to get nervous when there’s a crowd listening to him

which is why when he says “lawyer” everyone is like,,,,,,,,,,of course

his original plan was to become a professor because he likes books and discussion on literature

like,,,,no joke he’s always staying thirty minutes late debating on theories in books with all his teachers

and some teachers love it while others are like doyoung please i am just a teacher i need to go- and he’s like “have you considered that moby dick is actually trash? here’s 54 reasons why:-”

his older brother is an alumni of the school and everyone is like oh ~ you’re gong myungs brother??? and everyone in the pre-med department always wants to talk to doyoung about gong myung and doyoung is like yes. he went on to be a doctor. no. he isn’t married. no he ISNT LOOKING-

he lovessss to bother taeyong when they all go out to eat and he’s just like “more handsome every day i see?” and taeyong is like someone save me. sicheng. yuta-

but doyoung just throws his arms around taeyong and is like ^^ let’s study together!~~~ and taeyong is dying but everyone else is living because it’s so funny,,,,

dorms with jaehyun and everyone is like wow,,,they’re so mature they’re probably in there studying and being studios students!!!!

while in reality they’re sitting on the floor playing video games and doyoung is betting jaehyun all his lunch credits for the weekend on some wii sports resort golf

but he really does give off the studios vibe,,,because out of everyone on campus he dresses so???? formally like

you’ll never catch him in sweatpants and a big t-shirt (see: taeil) like doyoung wears collar shirts, those dad pants that are jeans but made of corduroy??? maybe a tie if he’s feeling it,,,,,, flip flops on campus? he’d rather DIE he’s wearing those oxfords and u know it!

is lowkey trying to give advice to e v e r y o n e like “mark,,,,,i know ur going to soccer but wear knee pads - i don’t care if you’ve been playing for ten years sweetie” to “johnny. that color of green on you is ugly.”

people find him intimidating because yes,,,,,he can be straightforward and blunt

but,,,,he’s a sweetheart who looks like a curious kid with round eyes and a kind smile

and as much as taeyong might spend running away from doyoungs affection,,,,he loves having him around because doyoung never makes anything awkward

he’s a natural leader tbh and he can make a conversation out of nothing it’s crazy,,,,,,,

and you,,,,,,know who doyoung is because you’re friends with ten who is always telling about how much he LOVES doyoung

how silly he is,,,,,how fun he is,,,,,how he acts like a cute bunny sometimes

and you,,,,,do not get it

because you’ve seen doyoung and the way he looks so sharp and intellectual and how when he talks he sounds like he knows,,,,,,everything

you’re not even sure you’ve seen doyoung laugh

and ten shows you the pics on his instagram of doyoung laughing,,,hand over mouth,,,looking silly with hair a mess and soft skin,,,,

but you’re like,,,,,,,you’re still sorta intimidated by him you just??? don’t get how someone can be so naturally good at being social and confident

and ten waves it off he’s like doyoung has his insecurities too,,,you know he IS human too??

and you’re like nope,,,too handsome- i mean too smart to be human

and ten hears the handsome but pretends not to and you’re like coughing into your palm because leTS not admit that maybe you’re intimidated because you know if you spoke to doyoung you’d become a blubbering mess

because wow he’s ,,,,,,,,,, attractive ,,,,,,,,, and so much more intelligent that anyone you know TT

that is until one day you’re looking down at your homework, stoic expression and ten throws his bag down beside you on the quad and sits down and is like whats up

and ur like,,,,,,,,,i have to give a speech for a class,,,,,,,,ten,,,,,,,i cant

and ten,,,,looks like christmas came early or something because he’s like DOYOUNG

and you’re like ?????? what about hi-

and ten is like DOYOUNG CAN HELP YOU OMG this is great you two can finally meet and fall in lo- i mean help each other ok ill introduce you right now let me text him

you aren’t fast enough to stop ten’s exited hands and before you can grab his phone ten is like sent!!!!!!

and ur like ten,,,i don’t wanna bother him or an-

ten: doyoung says he’d love to help!! he’ll meet you in the library at 7

and u just sit there,,,,looking at ten whose give u the mOST GIDDY expression

and ur like fine ok and u get up and ten is like its gonna be grEAT and ur like,,,,,a little nervous because u,,,,,,have never been around doyoung,,,,,,,,

and ur like ten come with m-

but then u hear the familiar voice of johnny calling ten over and ten is like id love to but i gtg and johnny comes jogging over like whats going on

and ten is like “they’re going on a blind date~ except it’s not blind im hooking them up with doyoung”

and you’re like TEN I SWEAR TO GOD WHAT DID U JUST SAY

and johnny is like HEY cool doyoung and you would look cu-

and ur like so red u can feel it like a damn sunburn on ur face and ur like stomping away before johnny can finish

shaking your head and ten is just like LOVE WILL BLOSSOM

but ur just likea mess in ur head because this dumb speech,,,,dumb ten,,,,dumb e m o t i o n s because once u come to terms with the fact that u have to see doyoung

like up close ,,,, and personal,,,,,,,,,,

ur heart cant stop doing leaps,,,,,,,,,,how c*rny

and 7 comes around much faster than expected and you’re in the library,,,,sure that doyoung wont be there right on time-

but he is,,,,,of course he is

and he’s sitting there,,,,,striped button down,,,,neatly laid out notebook and pen,,,,,,pretty side profile as he looks over something on is phone,,,,and wow his hands,,,fingers so long and pretty

ok snap out of it cmon

and somehow you manage to force yourself to go over there,,,,,doyoung looks up and you feel your legs turn to jello as he smiles and stands up as well putting his hand out to shake yours and introduce himself

LIKE you don’t know who he is but u stummer out ur own response and doyoung sits back down and puts his hands together and is like well! speech writing is tough but ive given a couple of them so i think i can be of use to u!

and ur like,,,,,not even sure what to say because what the HECK he makes u so nervous and its like chill he’s just another person,,,,a goofy person according to ten,,,,,,,,

but doyoung just smiles kindly and goes “is there anything you specifically need help with?”

and before you can even think you just blurt out; “ i can’t,,,,,,,,,talk”

and doyoung blinks but lets out a small laugh,,,,covering his mouth with his hand and he’s like “well yes you can, you just did. also,,,”

he leans over the table a bit and ur heart literally goes ! and he motions to his lips and he’s like “you have a mouth, and you can make noise, so i think you’re good on that. any other problems?”

and you’re like,,,,,dsfklsf,,,,,,,,, “i,,,,i just cant do it in front of people,,,,,lots of people.”

doyoung sits back and with a knowing nod says that that is a problem for a lot of people,,,,,but that instead of worrying about that you should first work on writing the speech

embarrassingly you admit that you havent and doyoung just grins and is like that’s why im here to help, so tell me about your class

and yes,,,,you’re nervous,,,,,but doyoung somehow makes it really easy for you to explain what you want to do because he’s ,,,,, just so good at making things understandable

and he’s ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, sweet

a part of you had always just assumed he’d be the kind of straightforward, blunt, cold kind of personality

but even with his slight jokes and his corrections and critique like,,,,doyoung isn’t mean or even off-putting

and your nervousness isn’t about asking him for help or even the speech anymore,,,,,it’s more of just,,,,,,,,,,,that feeling of a crush,,,,

when it hits ten though doyoung apologizes and says he has to go because of another late study group he has and you shake your head telling him he’s helped you aLOT

but before he leaves he pulls out a page from his book and hands it to you,,,,on it is his email and cell and he’s like send me your speech and ill look it over and we can decide another time to meet to talk about it

and ur so,,,,shocked you go “you- this isn’t a one time thing?” and doyoung grins again,,,,,,,,,that smile of his,,,,,,,,,,,and he’s like “did ten tell you im some kind of flake? really,,,,that guy,,,,,of course it isn’t a one time thing i said im going to help, right?”

and you want to tell him that no no ten has only said that he’s great,,,but you’re still shy and doyoungs smile and kindness is making it even harder to respond

before you know it doyoung is halfway out of the library, turning to wave and you’re so caught up that when you lift your hand to wave back he’s gone

and you mumble to yourself that you forgot to thank him,,,,,,you really should

ofc the next day ten practically forces you to sit down and tell him e v e r y last detail and you’re like he,,,,,,,,,,,,,,doyoung is nice

and ten is like I TOLD YOU he can be a pain in the ass with his sarcastic comments but he has a good heart

and ur like,,,,,,,,,,,,ten and ten is like hmm and ur like ten i think ive always had a crush on him like those ‘ill admire u from afar kinda things but ten,,,,oh my god i think i might start liking him seriously if he really is this sweet”

and ten damn near spits out his iced coffee but he just grabs your hands and is like YESSSSS I HAVE AWAITED THIS MOMENT

and you’re like wkfgfjr what and he’s like please ur lil crush was more than obvious but wow,,,,,,,,,,,a love on campus,,,,,a tutor and his student,,,,,,,,just like a drama i love it

and ur like ten please its not like he’ll like me - and ten is just like shh we just need to wait and see

and,,,,doyoung follows up on his promise. even in his tight schedule he finds the time to sit down and read over your speech and send you edits or meet up in person to talk

sure a couple of times you’ve had to meet him in the city at one of his internships,,,,,once you had to come over to the orchestra recital hall to talk to him,,,,,,then there was that time you meet outside a hospital???? that apparently doyoung’s brother was working in

and ,,,,, every time doyoung never failed to show you how much he was putting effort into really helping you

from having you read out loud to him and telling you ways to get over nervousness to fixing small grammar errors and helping with vocabulary

you could really see,,,,,,his intellect and social skills and,,,there probably isn’t anyone better on campus to help you than him

and finally as the date of your speech approaches doyoung suggests reading the speech in front of him and a couple of friends

so you end up all cramped into a small study room,,,,doyoung, ten, johnny, taeyong, yuta, winwin, taeil, mark, haechan, and jaehyun,,,,,and ur hands are shaking a bit

but doyoung reaches out,,,smiling and somehow your body calms down and you go through your whole speech without a single mistake and doyoung is just like wah,,,,do you all see this??? my work has paid off,,,,,,they’re perfect!

and he gets up throwing an arm around you and pulling you into his side

and ten winks and ur like GFgFDSS

but,,,,,,,when you look up to see doyoung looking so happy you can’t help but feel that being right there beside him,,,,,,is a spot you want to keep

the day of your speech doyoung sends you a text of encouragement,,,,,a picture of him giving you the thumbs up too and you smile and go into class much more confident than you ever thought you’d be

,,,,,,the speech,,,,,,it’s great

you do so well you even manage to surprise your teacher and when you’re out you practically skip out of class,,,,taking your phone out to text doyoung that you did it!!! you got the A!!!!!

but,,,,,when you meet up with ten later he kind of bites back his lip when you bring up doyoung because apparently,,,,,,,he’s not feeling to good

and you’re like he’s sick??? and ten sighs and is like,,,no it’s just he has this really big speech of his own coming up,,,,it’s for his brothers alumni party,,,,,,,,,he said it wasn’t going to stress him but it turns out a couple of law school recruiters are going to be there so it’s messing a bit with his confidence

and you frown,,,,knowing doyoung,,,,,you’ve never seen him falter in his self worth and you decide that he helped you so you’re going to go help him

so with ten’s instructions you find yourself in front of doyoungs dorm,,,,a box of white chocolate cake,,,,,,and your heart going a thousand miles an hour

and you knock only to hear some kind of noise from the inside and the door opening by itself

and you can see doyoung’s shoulders hunched over at his desk and quietly you let yourself be known,,,,doyoung turning around in his chair,,,,bags under his eyes and you’re like “ten,,,,,told me about your speech” and he just waves his hand as if to brush it off

and is like “what about you - did it go well?” and you wonder ,,, maybe he didn’t look at his phone,,,,,,didn’t see your text so you nod and you’re like i couldn’t have done it without you

and doyoung smiles but its small and wavering and you’re like “doyoung,,,,,i ,,,,,i want to thank you for being there for me and helping me,,,,,,, i,,,,,,”

a sudden surge of adrenaline makes you stand a little straighter and you can’t believe you’re going to say this but you do

“and i was wondering if we could go ,,,,out ,,,,,on a date,,,,,sometime,,,”

you open your mouth to say that you’ll even treat since he’s given you so much of his time but doyoung’s eyes darken

and before you can he goes “im sorry. school will always come first for me.”

it’s not,,,,,a harsh rejection or anything,,,,,,,,,it isn’t even unexpected

but doyoung’s voice sounds so cold and heavy that you cant help but feel choked up,,,,,rather than that embarrassed too,,,,,and you look at him

doyoungs eyes shifting to the cake in your hands and then back to your face,,,but for the first time he doesn’t look you in the eyes

instead he turns back in his chair, tells you he needs to go back to preparing and that if you could close the door tightly on your way out that’d be good

you,,,,,don’t budge for a moment but when you come to you drop the cake on his bed and mumble out “it’s for you.” and do as you’re told, leaving the dorm eyes wet with tears

and ten doesn’t believe you when you tell him it,,,,,,,, he says that doesnt sound like doyoung,,,,,like yes he’s always putting school first and whatnot but doyoung would never,,,,,,,,,he’d never be so curt

but you just tell ten that there isn’t any use in lying,,,,,,,what would doyoung find in you anyway and ten seems ready to lecture you again but the look on your face makes him stop

and you tell ten that it doesn’t matter,,,,,,, a crush isn’t anything anyway

the rest of the month goes by slowly,,, you still have lots of your own work to concentrate on and you don’t think about the unanswered text from doyoung

you try not to at least,,, ,and your other friends distract you,,,, ten does his best too and you’re happy even though seeing doyoung on campus still makes your heart sink

but you don’t expect that you’d be sitting in study hall one interview and you’d get a call from ten

“can you come down to outside the main faculty building? doyoung - just come ok?”

confused you pack your things and make way to the big building at the end of the campus ,,,,, when you call ten and text him where he is there isn’t any response and you furrow your eyebrows wondering what the hell this is about

until the door opens and you turn “ten what the he-”

doyoung’s tall, lean frame comes stumbling toward you,,,,exhaustion and sadness apparent in his face

and you barely get your arms out in time to catch him

the warmth of his face against your neck makes your body react and quietly as he stands there in your arms you ask whats going on

and doyoung doesn’t say much,,,face rubbing slightly against your neck and you don’t know what you should do

finally he pulls back and you reach up to fix the hair thats gotten into his eyes

doyoung takes your hand though and while looking at you goes; “i was wrong.”

and you’re like ???? about what

doyoung doesn’t look like he has the words yet and he can’t say anything because the door opens and for the first time before you is gong myung

“doyoung, the speech-”

you look at him,,,doyoungs eyes squeezing shut and he’s like “brother i can-”

but you just grab his shoulders and smile at gong myung telling him doyoung will be back in a couple of minutes

slightly confused gong myung disappears back inside and you realize that this is the big alumni speech ten had told you about and you’re like “doyoung,,,,c’mon you’re the one who told me that i can,,,,i can because i can speak and i have a mouth right - so do you doyoung you’re the most eloquent person i have ever met what is going-”

your paused with the feeling of doyoung’s lips on yours,,,unmoving he stays like that for a while and your mind blanks

doyoung pulls back only to tell you that it’s not the speech,,,it’s the thoughts ,,,,, the thoughts about you

about how he blamed school just because he was too scared to just say yes,,,,

and you’re not sure what - but then it hits u and you’re like,,,,,,,,doyoung,,,,,,,,nOW iS NOT tHE T ime TO WORRY ABOUT thAT

and doyoung is like !?@#@?#$? but i was so mean i did want to go on that date wit-

and you’re like OK COOL WE WILL BUT SERIOUSLY ARE YOU BEATING YOURSELF UP OVER THAT

and doyoung is like yES I THOUGHT I HURT YOU

and you’re like PLEASE ITS FINE NOW JUST FORGET IT AND GO UP THERE AND MAKE YOUR BROTHER PROUD

doyoung’s face brightens,,,,,the sparkle in his eyes returns and you shake your head because god ten was right this,,,,this boy really is kind,,,,,,even behind that constant confidence and laugh,,,he really thinks about the people around him

and doyoung is like i can do it. im gonna go in there and kill that speech.

and you’re like YES you will!!!! i believe in you!!!!

giving a little fist pump doyoung grins and turns to the door,,,only to spin on his heel back to you

holding your face with both his hands and kissing you once more before disappearing back inside

you wait a bit and your phone goes off with just a winky emoji from ten and you’re like huh but the doors open again and doyoung comes running out

arms engulfing you in another hug that leaves you blushing when he pulls back and behind him is a smug looking nct ,,,,, esp ten whose face basically screaming: I SAID SOOO

but also gong myung,,,, and you take like three steps away from doyoung because igflkdfsd skinship in front of his brother no no no

and gong myung is like “is this the person who made my brother such a mess?” and you’re like,,,,,,,,oh my god how do i answer that

and doyoung is like “dont make me bring up your significant other from high school brother.” and gong myung is like WELL I HAVE TO GO NOW

and doyoung comes closer and is like “so,,,,about that date? are you free now?”

and you’re like akjsfdf shouldnt you go with your brother and all the important alumn-

and doyoung shrugs and is like “i think my speech blew them away, now i have to mysteriously disappear and keep them guessing - right?”

you almost outright roll your eyes at the thought but also,,,,,you ARE free,,,,,,so,,,,,

taeyong as he watches you and doyoung giggling together: thank god he found someone to distract him

ten: i agree,,,,but also isn’t seeing him happy making you kinda happy ;)

taeyong: suddenly i cant read and i must go bye

anyway doyoung and you go grab some drinks and take a walk at a nearby park,,,,,even though it’s simple it’s kind of the perfect first date

doyoung insists that he’ll take you somewhere better but he needs time to plan and you’re like it’s ok,,,,these kinds of things are my favorite

and he smiles a bit and you’re like,,,,you’re thinking of something arent you?

and reaching out for your hand doyoung whispers “these kinds of things,,,,,,like just being by each others side?”

and you bite back your lip,,, stuttering because,,,,,,,ok,,,,,,,how can he just boldly say that?!?!?!

but doyoung finds it adorable and pulls you closer and is like “i like it too, i like having you here. when you weren’t around anymore,,,,,,it felt,,,,,empty.”

and ok ten is like,,,,,,,,,he is your biggest fan he literally sits you and doyoung down the next day and is like “i bless this marriage” “ten we aren’t-” “i bless this marriage but doyoung oh my god if you do anything to hurt them i will personally shave your head in your sleep and leak every video i have of you singing in the shower do not test me.”

but everyone else is happy too,,,,,yuta is like DAMN i didnt expect this and doyoung is like why not and yuta is like because you’re so uptight about everything. mr school is my life. mr school is my significant other. mr. school and i kissed for the first ti-

doyoung with his hand over yutas mouth: we geT IT narcisist nakamoto

the only normal one about the situation is taeil but he’s also like be careful doyoung is sly~ a real playboy~

and you’re like really?!??!

and winwin is like yEAH all the old ladies from the campus cafeteria say hes the perfect son in law. he has all of them swooned.

you; oh. you meant that kind of playboy LOL

doyoung is,,,,everything you expect him to be as a boyfriend: caring, and helpful

but,,,,also too caring + helpful sometimes with the way he keeps shrugging off his blazer or cardigan to throw around your shoulders because the library is cold or switching out your soda for water because we need to stay healthy

but he’s doing it from a place of love,,,he really is

teaches you note taking tricks and when he takes you supply shopping he’s like “you are super special to me which is why im telling you where to get the best highlighters in seoul and you cannot tell ANYONE. A N Y O N E.”

doyoung’s fashion sense doesn’t change,,,, not even on dates to the movies or amusement parks or the beach

like you and the guys planned to do some night time fireworks and everyone showed up in basically their pajamas but doyoung? nope. the oxfords were still on,,,,,even in the goddamn sand

but doyoung,,,, is the life of the party he really makes everyone laugh and you,,,,,,,,get to have inside jokes with him

that always leave you laughing till your stomach hurts and doyoung has to pull you into his lap and apologize and ur like ,,,babe im not just laughing because it’s FUNNY and he’s like YES but im too funny. im too powerful. you need to control me

and you’re like blushing and somewhere johnny is probably like “i taught him that” JKJK

doesn’t look like the type but is totally a late-night snacker

you two will sometimes meet just to eat convenience store bread and chips and talk about how college is the WORST with your legs entwined on the bench outside of the law department

and it’s like midnight no one is on campus but you and doyoung are perfectly ok in the dark munching away your problems together

doyoung thinks flowers are the most romantic thing and if he ever goes into the city and comes back he always comes back with flowers

and they’re different every time and you always get shy when he gives them to you because everyone around you is like ooooooo and doyoung is so proud of himself and you,,,,just melt how is he so cute

once,,,just to see his reaction,,, you brought him flowers and you gave them to him after class and it was his turn to get all shy and it was the best moment ever

you made taeil record the whole thing and whenever doyoung gets cheeky you just bring up the video and you’re like look. look here. you’re a giant cute baby dont even argue. look ur ears turned cherry red

isn’t a big clothing sharer but he wears glasses when studying sometimes so you steal them every now and then to wear and ,,,, doyoung thinks you look so cute in them that he just lets it happen tbh

sometimes though he’ll start an argument over it just to be like “let’s settle it with a tickle fight”,,,,,he just wants to tickle you tbh

doyoung sometimes narrates what you do to make you blush like if you’re doing some work on your laptop he’ll be like “and they look at the screen,,,concentrated,,,focused,,,looking hot and smart. i would kiss them if they weren’t so busy,,,” and it gets u everytime

because you turn to look at him and doyoung leans over to get a kiss and ur like AH IM TRYING TO WORK and doyoung is like well switch of your cuteness then i cannot help myself

sometimes he talks to himself and you love it like you love doyoungs voice so much,,,,

like when u just had a crush you thought it was nice but now it’s just music to your ears honestly

has pet names for you and calls you them in public because doyoung likes to show of your relationship

not corny enough for couple sweaters or anything but couple phone wallpapers are a must

admitted that he said to one of his professors that ever since he fell in love he’s kind of grown an interest in romantic novels and you’re like wait wait fell in love

and doyoung is like yeah,,,,,i love you,,,is that not obvious?

and you almost fell out of your chair,,,, but,,,, you love him too of course,,,

you always tell his not to cover his laugh because he has a habit of putting his hand in front of is mouth and you’re like,,,,,,,,i love your smile and laugh dont hide it

and doyoung ,,,,, when you compliment him its like the whole world is just the two of you and doyoung just wants to hold you in his arms because ugh he loves you so damn much

doyoung is a good talker but he’s an even better kisser

and kisses turn from innocent pecks on each others lips while you’re over at his dorm to full blow make outs with doyoungs big hands under your shirt

and the books thrown off his desk,,,him standing between your legs and the feeling of your lip between his teeth,,,,

doyoung does have a soft spot,,,his spine,,,,and when you settle kisses down it it makes him shiver and he becomes so cutely submissive,,,,,

sometimes you’ll sneak up from behind and kiss right below the back of his neck and seriously doyoung almost faints LOL

he likes to cook for you if he has time,,,,he cant cook a lot but he has some dishes and also he looks so cute because he always hums to himself and its just,,,,,,,,,so nice and sweet of him

you guys vibe so well with each other that just walking around for hours without going anywhere is exciting for you two

just looking at the scenery, holding hands, and talking,,,,,makes you two happy

ten tells doyoung that you used to think he was stoic and mean and ur like tEN and doyoung is like really?????? do you still think that??? do you not love me???

and you have to kiss him like 9403 times before he stops whining and bringing it up and ur like side eyeing ten for this whose just like WHAT I THOUGHT HE SHOULD KNOW

plays his flute when he’s stressed and you keep pestering him to teach you but seriously ever since you started dating its too hard to do anything when you’re around each other because you’re both so in love that it just turns mushy and its like yes teach me how to play the flute but also come here and cuddle me kinda situation

taeyong secretly misses all of doyoungs attention but at the same time he thinks you make doyoung a lot brighter and better and hes thankful,,,,,,,,,like really thankful

doyoung is the kind of boyfriend who when you trip over something he doesnt hide laughter but he helps you back up and scolds the twig you tripped over for hurting you LOL

#nct scenario #nct 127 scenarios #nct u scenario #doyoung scenarios #kim doyoung scenarios #sfw #College!AU #nct scenarios #nct 127 scenario #nct u scenarios #doyoung scenario #NCT #kim doyoung #doyoung #this is kinda bad im sorry it got so long #nct imagines #nct au #nct imagine #nct college au

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bitmapdreams · 7 years

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I think I've heard you say you enjoy turn-based games before, and you've posted bioshock infinite fan art, but I've never seen you talk about games before. What are your favourite games? (Or really just tell us anything about you and gaming!)

TL;DR: Yes I play games!

I haven’t been so active ever since I graduated school and started working, because… 9 to 5 job… raising a kid as a mother… but games and video games have always been a big part of my life!

It was the 90s so my mom was against violence in video games so I watched my elementary school guy friends play things like Street Fighter 2, Sonic, Tomb Raider, KOTOR.. but never picked it up.

I eased into computer games through puzzle games like Myst, and Humongous Entertainment (Pajama Sam, Spyfox, Backyard Baseball), and edutainment games like Oregon Trail 3 and Where in Time is Carmen San Diego. I always played with my sister! My neighbor and I also played this Indiana jones top-down adventure game a lot. I also loved things like petz, sim farm, sim tower, sim city, and roller coaster tycoon, and the sims and sims2, oh and this game called “creatures”?

My family are big card players and board game players, and I grew up playing a version of speed solitaire that only exists in my family. In 4th grade I somehow played online poker via America Online…? And when someone asked my age I lied and said I was in 5th grade lol. My sister and I still love playing board games, especially Serenissima and Clueless (a version of Clue we came up with where you play without a notepad). a few friends in high school played Warhammer so I watched that a bit.

In middle school I got into TCG’s, mainly Pokémon and Magic the Gathering.. I had a solid Armadillo Deck in high school.. I used to play with this education tool called Interactive Physics in the computer lab a lot. Also loved this website called Orisinal, which come to think of it has informed my aesthetic a lot. I got a gameboy color and played Pokémon Blue, Kirby’s Tilt n Tumble, Conker’s Pocket Tales.. I got into DDR for a hot minute, Marvel vs Capcom, King of Fighters, Guilty Gear..

My first console was a translucent orange N64, I loved games like Harvest Moon and Hey You Pikachu, Mario Party 2 (the best), beetle adventure racing, tons of games rented from blockbuster, and I would watch my guy friends play StarFox and Smash Brothers. Before it came out, I ran emulators of Pokémon Gold on my computer and tried playing through it in Japanese haha. I super got into the Japanese emulator for the Pokémon trading card game gameboy game!

When I got in high school I finally got a PlayStation, and I fell hard for Final Fantasy. My first was 9, and I went back from there. It’s hard to go back from 9 to 8 and then to 7. In the end I lost interest in 7 and never finished it. Also followed the squaresoft road and really loved Legend of Mana! I watched G4 and cosplayed as game characters at anime cons and stuff. Got my PS2 to play Final Fantasy X, loved the core Kingdom Hearts games, Katamari Damacy.. odd titles like Magic Pengel.. doubled down with X-2, HM:BTN.. not a lot of ‘violent’ games or shooters. (My family all played our Wii Sports to pieces, etc..) I watched my friends play a ton of GTA, and I loved just listening to the radio!

I spent a ton of time playing Ragnarok! I got to the Monk class, had some pretty rare headgear, which was so fun. In college I got my PS3 and played a mess of stuff, some tekken and Soul Calibur, but really just got busy with uni and then work.. I lived in Tokyo though so I would go to TGS and soak it all in. I saw Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb taping a segment there one year! But my interest was mostly on the peripheral, I checked out of it as a hobby for a good amount of years until I got an iPhone and then started watching let’s plays on YouTube!

I got back into following games as a medium through being interested in the development of Bioshock Infinite. During college, when I went back home for the summer, I spent a night hanging out in a park with my high school friends listening to them talk about how cool this game called bioshock is. Sounded too scary for me, but I plot searched the hell out of it online much like I do when I’m interested in scary movies but don’t want to watch them…?

So when I heard a new one was coming out I casually followed it through its development, then watched lets plays of it when it came out in real time, and just got super into it because I had been studying the history of math and science in college, and so I was studying about the history of quantum theory and stuff right at the time. then because of all that I got into watching gaming related stuff on YouTube, watched a lot of rev3 et all, gamergate happened, yeah..

But I still play games on muh lonesome, and still watch let’s plays of games I don’t have the skill or time to play! I think I’ve watched let’s plays of most of the major games for 2013-2016 in the process! I really liked Firewatch! Watched through Lots of older ones too. I really got into watching videos of the Arkham series, and from that I started watching deep dives on US comics by people on YouTube, etc… also found MBMBaM via games!

So I don’t think my story is unique but I’m sort of more of a spectator of what you may call your classic video games, and the ones I do play are either strategic, or laid back.. usually turn-based. But looking back I certainly have experienced more than someone who doesn’t!

Nowadays I love Civilization 4 with a passion, retroactively played through the Bioshock Series while I was on maternity leave (my first time playing a shooter!) which was an important touchstone for me as a person for many reasons.. separate from my opinion of the game itself, but either than that though, I haven’t picked up a controller since Splatoon. ..well that’s a lie, my toddler *loves* wii-u party. But, still haven’t gotten around to buying a PS4. Or a switch. But ive played through Riven and Exile on my iPhone, recently played Oxenfree, um let’s see, I backed We Happy Few, and it freaks me out to play but I got pretty good at playing one of the earlier versions! I listen to a lot of video game podcasts, too, though I think it’s more from a companionship stance than anything.. I still live in japan and most of my social circle doesn’t speak English, and all these people remind me of my high school friends. Good times. That kinda thing.

Yeah, that’s me and games!

#about #anon #sorry long post #this ended up longer than expected #reply #video games

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tkuhnhackl · 5 years

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1-70

i can’t tell if i love you or hate you rn but i really don’t want to do anymore work on this placement nonsense so we’ll go with the former, thanks

i’m stupid enough to actually do all these but i will put them under a read more to spare y’all

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? yeah, i’m really close to both of them. we’re all a little nuts in the family, but in the best way.02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? my mom, when talking to her on the phone on the way back from work today (well, technically i said “love ya, shorty” because my family is not good at sentimentality without a little bit of roasting but close enough, i suppose)03: Do you regret anything? I already answered this!04: Are you insecure? I guess? It’s weird - I’m very comfortable with who I am, that sort of stuff, but things that have happened in the past have made me insecure about aspects of myself - so I suppose my answer is that i’ve become fairly good at disguising my insecurities over time05: What is your relationship status? single af06: How do you want to die? quickly, fairly painlessly, in a blaze of glory - there’s one Brian Jacques novel where the Long Patrol hares mount a final charge to stall the enemy and 8 year old me was absolutely ready to go out wielding a longsword in one hand and a sgian dubh in the other and tbh i’m still lowkey up for it07: What did you last eat? i had tacos for dinner with homemade barbacoa beef (i froze half of it when i made it back in february so i am finally treating myself to the rest of it)08: Played any sports? baseball, softball, basketball, tennis, and soccer/football. i also did field hockey briefly and ran track and field (primarily hurdles) for a year; i wanted to do short track speed skating but my parents were too worried about my safety09: Do you bite your nails? yup, i’ve tried for years to break the habit but every time i get stressed, it happens again10: When was your last physical fight? i’ve never been in a full-on fight; probably high school was the last time that anything even came close to that level and it was still not particularly close11: Do you like someone? already answered this one too!12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? once? usually i end up taking a nap, even if just for an hour, so it rarely ends up being 48 consecutive hours13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? i mean, on an impersonal level, there are famous people i despise. in my own personal life, there are a handful of people that i dislike enough to perhaps call hate but i also don’t believe in wasting my time being angry with them if they’re not even in my life anymore14: Do you miss someone? answered this one as well!15: Have any pets? the loves of my life, my dog Flora and my parents’ dog Liam. also the spider who lives in the corner of my room because sometimes it’s nice to pretend that counts as having company16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? tired, overwhelmed, ready for another vacation, helpless, frustrated, but also hopeful because i’ve got three potential job leads that came up this week (but can’t be followed up on until I return home in Sept)17: Ever made out in the bathroom? nope18: Are you scared of spiders? no, i love spiders as long as they don’t encroach on my personal space19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? as an art history person, absolutely. there are a lot of questions that i had to leave unanswered in my research papers and i’d love to just be able to ask the artists in person (and maybe punch picasso and jackson pollock and tell bierstadt to calm down a bit with the entire congress incident because no one cares about those pictures anymore)20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? a dorm room (idk if it counts as a snog but we’re counting it nonetheless)21: What are your plans for this weekend? finish getting my portfolio done for this placement and hopefully book another trip for next weekend22: Do you want to have kids? How many? i definitely do not want to birth any children, but i’d certainly be open to adopting later in my life should my life lead me in a direction where i feel ready, able, and willing to open my heart and home to a kid. probably only one, definitely no more than 2.23: Do you have piercings? How many? two ear piercings, i used to have my nose pierced but that ripped out in a very painful moment and i’m waiting for it to heal completely before i get it repierced24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? i was a fucking nerd in high school; i think the only subject i struggled a bit in was physics and that’s just because i don’t like theory - in uni, i took classes in a bunch of different departments, but my best ones were art history and anthropology25: Do you miss anyone from your past? answered this as well!26: What are you craving right now? poutine from the Yard, good Knights hockey, a brain that functions in a healthier way, and an end to my writing block27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? i don’t think so? i mean, i feel like it’s highly unlikely28: Have you ever been cheated on? can’t happen if you’re not even in the game 😏29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? see above answer30: What’s irritating you right now? my flatmates, the other work placement who won’t shut up and insists on using the library computer with the cataloging software despite me reserving it, my professors’ general incompetence, international politics31: Does somebody love you? romantically, no, unless the cheesemonger’s really committed to our non-existent relationship. but i’d like to think my close friends and family do (otherwise the love you’s we exchange at the end of conversations are awkward now)32: What is your favourite color? russets and other earth tones33: Do you have trust issues? hahahahahaha yes34: Who/what was your last dream about? i don’t actually remember? i know i woke up disoriented a few nights ago because it was something realistic but idk what i actually dreamed about35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? i cried in front of my mom on skype recently; in person, also probably my mother when she visited a few months ago (moral of the story is that i refuse to cry in front of anyone that’s not family)36: Do you give out second chances too easily? depending on what happened, i really don’t do second chances at all. i’m an expert at putting things in my past and, while i don’t often burn bridges, i’m more than happy to let them fall into ruin on their own 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? to forgive is easy (depending on what was done), but forgetting is much, much harder38: Is this year the best year of your life? depending on my paper grades and this dissertation and whether or not someone wants to hire me, it could well be, but it sure as hell does not feel like it39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 1840: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? no way in hell51: Favourite food? beans and rice52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? not really - i do believe that every experience is one that can be learned from and every one has some sort of value, but i believe that the “happens for a reason” idea ascribes more sentience to the universe than i like53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? did my daily duolingo requirements so that the owl didn’t show up in my bedroom and murder me54: Is cheating ever okay? no, i don’t think there can be any sort of justification for betraying someone’s trust55: Are you mean? not particularly, i can be if i need to be but i prefer not to (i prefer to go for the ‘asian mom threatening glare’ that i have inherited from my mother)56: How many people have you fist fought? zero; for all its portrayals on tv and movies, my experience in american public school had absolutely no physical fights57: Do you believe in true love? no, i find that the concept can be so limiting and people feel pressure to find some ideal that may not really exist (i’m not a romantic in any way, shape, or form whoops)58: Favourite weather? spring, when it’s right on the edge of summer, so it’s warm enough that you can wear absolutely anything and still be comfortable, and the birds are nesting and the flowers are blooming, and the world just feels so alive59: Do you like the snow? yes, but my sad frostbitten toes can no longer handle the cold so i must now limit my time in the snow so i don’t lose them completely60: Do you wanna get married? i wouldn’t say i want to get married; if i find someone and we end up getting married, great. if i stay single the rest of my life, also great. it’s one of those things that i don’t feel is a necessity to make my life complete, but i’m not necessarily opposed to it either if it happens. I have so many things on my bucket list for life, but romance has never been on it.61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? i will accept “babe” but will not accept baby unless it’s followed by giraffe. 62: What makes you happy? dogs that wag their tail a little faster when they see you, the way puffins fly and land, the sound and sight of sea birds reuniting with their partners after spending the last year apart, lilies of the valley beginning to peek out as the seasons change, fruits and veg picked straight from my garden, good food, excel spreadsheets, being the only one in a gallery in a museum and getting to be alone with the art, sharks that challenge our perspectives on what sharks are supposed to be and do, my sports teams winning63: Would you change your name? no. for a long time, i did because it’s always getting mispronounced and, when you go to a predominantly white school district, it’s always hard to be the one kid with an obviously non-white name. but also my last name means ‘king of snakes’ and fuck if anyone’s taking that away from me64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? nope, she remains very dear to me65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? run screaming for the hills, catch me sailing out to shetland on the next ferry because that’s a conversation i don’t want to have66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yeah, i don’t really believe in having close friends that i cannot act my complete self around, regardless of gender67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? my dad? non-family, the regimental representative at the museum i work at, who’s basically my work dad (who i cook for because i worry about his health)68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? i avoid all deep emotional conversations, so it’d probably be my parents (specifically my mother because my dad is like me). but i did have a deep conversation about politics and race with a girl i met on my trip this weekend up north69: Do you believe in soulmates? answered this as well70: Is there anyone you would die for? absolutely

#asks #about me #anon

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