#it's overwhelming too with all that all at once! this is getting kinda off topic though

[dutybcrne]

From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.

Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.

#hc; kaeya #//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion #//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be #//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way #//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle #//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand #//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol & #liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her #//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold #before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands #//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves #but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc #//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him #//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that #Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves #//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being #//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection #//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort #//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time #//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away #//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern #//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying? #//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic #//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them #//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms #//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel #//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho #//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok #//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less #//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn

[d6volution]

okay so like, what about a reader that also goes into heat? And as soon as Jax finds out (while he himself is also in heat) he just breaks into readers room while reader happens to be humping a pillow and just fucks them raw then and there. (Breeding kink maybe?-)

decided to put these two asks together since they were similar, 🤭

tags: heat cycles, breeding kink, overstim, manhandling, tail pulling, cursing, crying, rough sex. kinda mean jax. (fem reader)

Usually Jax was more or less good at hiding his heat. After all there was no way in hell he planned on letting anyone get the jump on him about this. It'd probably become the main topic of conversation among the circus, seeing as everyone has nothing else to do here.

The only downside was he'd be bored completely out of his mind being stuck in his room. It was a better alternative to pouncing any living creature that walked and trying to fuck it raw though. So he'd have to deal with the boredom for the time being.

Days went by, and Jax spent his time rutting into his fist and hand to take the edge off. But it never satisfied him. It was honestly humiliating how many times he jacked off in one day just to feel a piece of normalcy. So not only did he have to deal with being trapped here, but every once in a while, he had to go through this torment. With no one to relieve him, but.. well him.

It did occur to him that maybe others may have had this problem, like you, for example. The new girl, you had two ears that sprouted from your head and a tail as well. But as far as he's concerned, you've been perfectly fine. It wasn't fair. What kind of sick joke was this anyway?

A day trudged by, and luckily enough Jax wasn't bothered by any of the other members. Which was great considering he was preparing to fuck his fist once again .. until. A very particular smell hit his senses. All of the sudden his pupils were blown wide. "What.. is that.." He muttered to himself , absolutely confused yet intrigued by this scent drawing him in. Made his dick throb in his pants.

He had tunnel vision now and had to find the source, maybe it was the cure he needed to get rid of this damn feeling.

"Not now Kinger, don't got the time." He said once he opened the door to leave his room. Kinger was standing there waiting to knock but Jax walked right past him. Kinger hunched over in disappointment.

Jax walked past a few doors in the large corridor, he knew he was getting closer as the scent grew stronger.

"Huh." Jax scoffed, arriving in front of your door after following the scent here, it was so overwhelming that his instincts took over again and he opened the door slipped inside , and closed it behind him immediately... and there you were , the room full of your scent. Jax shuddered, watching you hump a pillow on your bed, whining and gripping at it in need. Ears flat against your head. He watched for a moment in silence. His dick throbbing and straining against his overalls.

"H.. Hey, doll—" He said and cleared his throat his throat, trying to interrupt your little session. He was still quite surprised you didn't hear him come in.

"Hhn.. J.. Jax? Please.. I need help.. I.." You were too dazed, too drunk on lust to care that he barged in. "I don't know whats wrong with me.."

"The pillow not cuttin it doll? You know I can help ya.." You both were like animals in heat... literally.

You weren't even aware you could go into heat until now, and it was driving you insane. You came so many times that your cunt was sore and puffy but it wasnt enough. You needed something inside, you needed to be bred. Full of someomes young. Jax's young.

"Jax.. please..." You whined, and positioned yourself in such a way that Jax almost came in his pants immediately. Your ass was in the air, two fingers pushing your puffy lips apart to show off the wet needy hole in between your legs.

"Don't gotta ask me twice," Jax climbed onto the bed , in the process pushing his overalls off his shoulders and pulling his heavy cock from its confines. You both were far from needing foreplay, he needed a hole to fuck and you needed to be filled. "You always this wet.. its like you pissed your pants or somethin'.." He jokes, teasing his angry throbbing tip against your slick.

"Ah.. J.. Jax, I've only used m'fingers before so— nnhg..!!" He slammed all the way inside, burying himself to the hilt in your cunt. You squirmed beneath him, as the wind was knocked out of you.. there was a tinge of pain but overwhelming euphoria. "S.. So d...deep hha.." Your fingers clawed at the blankets beneath you.

Jax's self-control was thrown out the window as soon as he was buried inside of you. He used his hand to push your face into the mattress. His mind is now filled with, "Breed, breed breed."

The panting bunny was forcing your back to bow in a steep arch, giving him acess to dig deeper into your cunt. You gasped and continued to squirm, whining that it was 'too much, too big'.. until your words turned into incoherent babbles. As Jax refused to stop humping into you.

"Too much? Nah, doll sit here and take it. I've been dealing with this for way too long for you to back out now... ghn..." You were squeezing him so tight, sucking him in. You were made for this. Made for him.

"J.. Jax pleas.. nnh.. senstive..!" You wailed, tears welling up in your eyes. Ypur poor body was jerked forward each time he thrusted into you.

Your body was at war with itself, Jax was battering against your most senstive spots.. it was so good but too much at the same time. You felt like your brain was melting. Maybe you should just give in, get bred and maybe you wouldn't have to worry about a thing after that.. right? He'd take care of you.. and your babies.

Jax's voice pulled you out of your head, and back to reality. Suddenly your body was buzzing and the feeling of Jax's thick dick pummeling inside of you was real again.

"J—Just stay still sweetheart, it isnt that hard. Heh, maybe this is what ya get for letting someone.. l-like me into your room at a time like this..heh.." He grunted, eyes hovering over your form before his gaze rested on your tail. He grinned wide before yanking it and forcing your ass to perk up a little towards the air. You yelped and convulsed around his dick, orgasming immediately from him manhandling your tail.

"J..Jeez, doll..!" He spoke through gritted teeth, your slick insides clamping down on him as he humped you through your climax. Jax had to hold on though, he wasn't quite ready to cum yet. "Wonder how many times you can do/that.." He yanked your tail again, and just like that you were squeezing him.

It was pure bliss for him, "There ya go, just like that.. ngh.. k-keep squeezing on my dick babe... gotta get you pregnant after all.." The words left his mouth carelessly.

Jax didn't care that you were overstimulated, no it was too late for that. You were the answer to this problem, his perfect little slut, and he'd do this as many times as he needed to.

Who else could you go to that would take care of you like this?

"Tell me you want it baby, c'mon.." He urged into your ear. Jax gave your tail a rest, instead opting to pull your hair. Yanking your head from the pillows so he could hear you.

"W.. Want your cum Jax..! Wa.. Wanna get pregnant please..!" You whined and he throbbed in your cunt, grunting in pleasure. "Yeah, I'll get you pregnant babe, you'll be nice and r-round f'me.."

The sound of that made him snap finally, he couldn't hold it in anymore. "S.. Shit, doll—" His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you towards him. Your back was flush to his stomach as he pumped his cum inside of you. Stil thrusting even when he stopped cumming.

"There ya go.. can't waste a drop.. or who knows, maybe we can doll. You can go another few rounds, can't ya..?"

#the amazing digital circus #ask #jax tadc #minors dni #jax x reader #jaxsmut

[cheeseceli]

Their s/o is overworked

Pairing: Ot8 ateez × Gn!reader (individually)

Genre: fluff, comfort, reaction

Request: Reader is super stressed due to work/school and Ateez BF, or BFF take your pick, try and help you out.

Warnings: mentions of food at Seonghwa, Mingi, Wooyoung and jongho's, not proofread.

A/n: me writing this after being overworked and overwhelmed because of finals was such a genius move

Seonghwa

Oh you're pulling an all nighter? You got it wrong, you both are pulling this all nighter. Even if there's nothing he can do to finish your assignment faster, he will be with you to make sure you don't burn throughout it. Cozy blankets, bag full of snacks and light kisses to your temple whenever he feels like you're starting to stress. If he thinks it's been too long, he will take you to bed immediately.

Hongjoong

Honestly he doesn't completely understand what he's doing lmao😭 Will try to hype you up but will say things like "c'mon, it's okay! Let's celebrate, it's not every day you score a 40% on an exam!" Like I sure hope not?? He's kinda clumsy but he has the best intentions! It even makes you laugh so that's a win for him lol.

Yunho

Wants to help with everything that is possible. Do you need to make an assignment about a topic he never even heard before? That's okay, he can make some research to help you, no worries. He can learn your finals' topic just so he can teach you. Whatever you want him to do, he will. Really, just wants to see you well and rested again.

Yeosang

He's with you in every step of the way fr. Even if he can't do much, even if he's there just to stay by your side and give you emotional support. He really just wants to be there for you so you know you're not alone. And if you try to tell him that there's no need to, he will insist on being there like "I like being with you" or "this is kinda entertaining" knowing damn well it isn't - he's really there for you :(

San

Honestly the best comfort you could ever imagine. He will hold you so don't break down but, if the tears are inevitable, he will hug you close. Always reassured your value so you don't fall into self depreciation. Throughout your entire low, he will be there to be strong for both of you when you can't.

Mingi

Will constantly check on you but not in a way that makes you bothered or annoyed. He is actually very subtle about it, you'd be surprised. Sneakily giving you some food so you can get energised again, softly convincing you to make pauses and watch a show with him or something... Is also your hype man whenever you feel like crying or giving up: will make you laugh until you can't remember why you were sad in first place

Wooyoung

He wants you to rest so badly. He will always make sure to make you stop just for a bit everyday so you don't end up overwhelmed. Yes you will sleep on time and won't wake up extra early. You will eat well and close your computer every once in a while. If you want him to wash your hair for you he will. Everything so you can relax.

Jongho

Since you are already so overworked, he will make sure that you'll have nothing else on you that can weigh you more. He will wash your dishes, make you dinner, clean the house even if you don't even live together. He just wants to take some responsibility off your shoulders so you can be able of breathing for a while.

Masterlist | you'll probably like: it's okay (I.N drabble for comfort)

Taglist: @yuyubeans

Dividers by @cafekitsune

credits for pics 1 2 and 3

Reblogs and feedback are, as always, very appreciated

[tohsri]

no title.

warnings: dick sucking ofc, deepthroating, nerdy virgin!reader x rebellious!gojo, may be ooc, kinda short ig word count: 980 words 💀 a/n: thanks @getosbigballsack for pulling me out of my writer's block, also i think i slowly went out of topic but i got carried away dont blame me

you walked into your shared room to see satoru playing video games on his computer, shamelessly cursing at the other person on the screen. god knows what kind of argument satoru was having with this stranger online, because it was sure getting a little heated between them. you didn't pay that much attention to it. after all, he was always having this verbal arguments as jokes. so you left him to his games and focused on your assignments, but it wasn't until his voice got louder; and he wasn't screaming out of victory. his face was scrunched up and his teeth were gritted, he was clenching so hard onto the controller his knuckles were white. even you were a little concerned by now, and a little scared at his behaviour. you decided you couldn't leave it alone once he slammed the controller onto the table, his hair a little damp from his sweat. despite his angry expression, you couldn't help but stare at him. even when he was mad, he was still so handsome. was this what he meant whenever he said you were cute when you were mad? his head was thrown back and he shut his eyes, but spoke up when he noticed you were under the table. "what are you planning to do?" he spoke in a gruff voice, pushing his hair back, even panting a little from seemingly how intense his game was. you placed your hand on his inner thigh, staring up at him with pleading eyes. it was so embarrassing for you to ask, but you had to. "can i.. uh, give you.. ah, a- uhm.." you stumbled over your words. "what is it?" his hand stroked your hair, making you feel less nervous. "canigiveyouablowjob?" you blabbered out, face flushed red with embarrassment.

he was a little surprised at your words, given how you're inexperienced, but seeing how cute you looked, he couldn't say no.

-------- you were licking his cock and sucking on his pink tip, tasting the salty precum as you continued to tease him a little more. but you decided to stop and went further on his dick, causing him to let out more sweet noises slip out from his lips.

he was moaning while you were sucking him so obediently, his hand grabbing a fistful of your hair. his hand was guiding you slowly, going just a little deeper each time. one of your hands were stroking his cock as well, the other clinging onto his thigh for support. you choked and gagged a few times on his cock, even if you didn't take it in all the way. but you couldn't help it because his cock was just so big that sometimes you went too deep. you wanted to do it for him, though, so he was surprised when you removed your hand, and you found yourself taking almost every inch of his dick into your mouth. it caused your throat to be uncomfortable, forcing you to breathe through your nose even more. when his tip was sliding in and out of your throat, tears escaped your eyes. before you could push yourself further, you found satoru pulling your head back, as much as he didn't want it to stop. however, he didn't want to see you suffer like this either. he stared at your glossy eyes with his blue ones, stroking your hair to calm you down. "slow down, you're taking too much." his said in a soothing tone, which made you feel a lot better. "start off slow, alright? i don't want my princess to suffer like this." you nodded and continued to suck on his cock, hollowing your cheeks out as satoru praised you. "mmh! fuck- ah, you're doing so w-well!" his breath hitched as you bobbed your head slowly, pulling out to twirl your tongue around the crown of his dick. his hand was pushing your head down, but not too far so it doesn't overwhelm you. what almost made him cum was when your hand moved to play with his balls, massaging them to make him feel even better with ecstasy. his hand on your head pulled you off once more, and he stood up from his chair. "is it okay if i fuck your face?" he asked with concern. he smirked when you nodded and he brought you out from under the table, grasping onto your head for support. he started out with small thrusts, being careful not to go too deep at first. his thrusts suddenly started to intensify as he released all his pent-up energy onto you, and you had to endure how his cock was going deep into your throat, stretching out the walls of your throat. you didn't want him to stop though, not in the middle of this. "fuck fuc- cumming! gonna cum in your- ah! throat!" his thrusts were getting sloppy and you could tell, and soon he released his load into your throat. you could feel his cum in your throat, and some in your mouth as he thrusted a little bit more. when he pulled out, you weren't expecting him to cum a second time on your face, which caught you off guard. luckily you were fast enough to close your eyes just before his sticky semen hit your face, which he wiped off after realising what he done. "sorry princess, i didn't know i was gonna cum, you were just too sexy and i couldn't resist..." he chuckled, kneeling down and grabbing some tissues from the table to wipe some cum off your cheek. "it's okay, satoru." you smiled softly. "i enjoyed it." he planted a kiss on your cheek before suddenly lifting you up, carrying you to the bed. he took off his shirt, smirking when he sees your flustered expression. "what? i want a round two, and i'll be gentle with my princess. so sit back and let me do all the work for you."

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo x you #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic

[smartwatermagic]

I kinda wanna know about the shared trauma Annabeth and Alabaster both have from Luke and how they deal with it? How does Percy deal with them going completely insane just thinking about it? Does Annabeth ever realize she was used by Luke too (I feel like in a way she was)? I just kind of wanted you to explore this a bit more.

Ohohohoho -> you can hear me wringing my hands and cackling if you squint lol. This is going to get long so buckle up folks, I am breaking out the "•" format again

(CW:suicide mention, it's about Luke's death)

It's very important to start that the love was there. Luke loved them, they were his little siblings. It didn't change anything. It didn't stop the hurt. Perhaps it made it worse. But it's very important that the love was there.

Percabeth didn't talk about Luke after Manhattan, not really. That off-hand comment about his flying shoes in Cotg was the first time either of them mentioned him out-loud.

It's Alabaster coming into their life that opened up that baggage along with several more they were happy to ignore until it eventually burst.

I think it would be good for both of them when they come to the realisation that Luke wasn't evil and he wasn't a can-do-no-wrong-hero either. (He is still the hero of the prophecy of course but yeah, you all get it)

He was just a traumatised kid who grew into a traumatised young adult and caused the deaths and traumas of dozens of other kids whether he wanted to or not.

Just Annabeth realising she was the same age as when Luke took her in when she took the sky from him. Just Annabeth having a talk with Thalia, learning about Halycon Green, and how Luke changed after that, and how he again changed after that visit to May and the confrontation with Hermes. How he seemed to intentionally provoke and go after monsters. Just Annabeth mourning the loss of her dagger and her family. Luke has been dead from the start. Thalia will never be the cool 12 year old that took her under her wing again. Annabeth will out-age and Thalia will out-live both of them.

Just Alabaster realising hey, maybe Luke wasn't this almost god-like being he idolised. That maybe Luke himself didn't believe in half the things he promised. That maybe it shouldn't have been his, a 14 year old's, job to coax out a drunk Luke from the corner of Othrys he backed himself to. That maybe he wasn't wrong to think that he was used as an emotional replacement for Annabeth.

If Alabaster spared a drachma for every time Luke called him Annabeth— well no matter. He was dead now. (He would do anything to hear Luke's voice again, even if that was by being called Annabeth.)

But Luke didn't only hurt them, did he? Like I said he was their big brother. Just the memories of Annabeth staying up full night with Luke, him shielding her from the cold and the harpies as they sat on Thalia's branches. Just Luke protecting Alabaster from bullies who thought picking on the weird scrawny minor god kid no. 1263 would be fun. Luke who saw a little seven year old and took her in, promised family and tried to protect her to his best. Luke who killed himself for her. Luke who tried to maintain the familiy bonds he had with these children that followed him to the Titan army. Luke who tried to keep Alabaster away from Kronos as much as possible, and yet still promoted him to his second in command anyways.

Does that make up for the hurt? Does it matter he loved them if he intentionally or not got them in the middle of the crossfire? That's for Annabaster to decide.

They do miss him though. Once the gates open they can't stop the incoming emotional flood. Sometimes they curse him out, sometimes they cry after him, sometimes they sit in silence of their overwhelming feelings. Sometimes... well, Percy doesn't know, but it's better than Luke being a constant topic of their relationship arguments he guesses.

And it's the way Alabaster still talks like he's trying to imitate Luke: half successful silver tongue, laced with magic and the passion Luke used to have at the very start of the war. It's the way Annabeth paces around like Luke did when he was stressed, all lost in thoughts at picking at her elbows. It's the way all three of them are bone tired, and world weary and if they look at the mirror they just see Luke Luke Luke—

Some nights, when none of them can sleep, under the soft light of the moon and a cozy blanket, with hot drinks in their hands and kisses shared they talk about just how easy it would be to stage Olympus's downfall, how fast, how it would hit them before they can even suspect a thing... All hypothetical certainly, just whispers between lovers.

And Percy. He doesn't even have half the memories his partners have with Luke. But three of what he has stick out the most: Luke teaching him sword-fighting, him siccing a scorpion on little 12 year old Percy with no hesitation and him making him promise to not let things happen this way again as he bled out to death in his lap.

Olympians may have not went through their promise. Percy sure does intend to keep his own one though, gods be damned.

He'll just settle for being there for his partners for however long they grieve, though.

#this is not an anti luke post. i love him. psa end. #pjo #alabaster torrington #annabeth chase #percy jackson #luke castellan #thalia grace #percalabeth #annabaster #percabeth #smartwatermagic #pjo headcanon

[1-800-c0sm1c]

Hey!! Sorry if I’m doing this wrong I am new to this kinda stuff but do u mind writing headcanons on how the p5 phantom thief boys would take care of the reader when they’re on their period? If not it’s fine!

꒰baby im yours !꒱

p5 boys when their s/o is on their period headcannons !

character x afab!reader

includes joker, ryuji, yusuke, and akechi !

warnings : mentions of periods, obviously lol

a/n : its shark week for yours truly so i thought now is the best time to write this :D i wasnt sure what gendered reader you wanted, so i just decided to leave it as afab, hope thats alright :))

JOKER // REN AMAMIYA

maybe this is biased, but i feel out of everyone on this list hes the most prepared.

like, hes not overbearing but he knows just enough to spare you both any awkward conversations.

he doesnt have any feminine products in his bathroom since its technically shared with leblanc customers and he doesnt want to embarrass you or anyone else, but you know theres always a few of whatever you need in his school bag or his dresser!

hes a very calm person, which can be very relieving, especially when you accidentally bleed on something.

you both were hanging out one day after school, and when you got up off of his bed to go make some food, you noticed a red spot on the sheets.

you were internally freaking out, trying to figure out what to do knowing how some guys tend to find it gross, while ren literally just comments "dont worry about it, i needed motivation to do laundry anyways." and asks if you need anything.

you feel like youve just been given whiplash, no way thats it, hes so cool with it?

he even gives you a pair of his boxers and sweatpants since you bled through your clothes, and when you come out of the bathroom hes got a steaming hot cup of coffee and some chocolates on the counter all ready for you. <3

SKULL // RYUJI SAKAMOTO

confused, embarrassed, and a little bit (a lot) dramatic. he tries to act like its not a big deal, but in reality he doesnt really know anything about periods, and hes convinced youre secretly in a lot of pain. (which i mean, you could be depending on cramps… but you get what i mean.)

hes horribly uneducated on this topic, and definitely the worst person to be stuck with when you start. 

hes calling ann asking her to explain what to do with the reddest face youve ever seen. 🧍

ryuji definitely thought it was a little gross at first too, but once he understood it was just a normal thing your body did he felt more okay about it.

hes trying super hard to be a good boyfriend, but hes stuttering over his questions. barely able to ask you if he needs to get you anything.

i swear his eyes almost popped out of his head when you said all you wanted was for him to shut up and cuddle with you. 💀💀

he tries to be there for you as much as possible, but if you tend to get more angry, just note that hell try to stay away a bit. 

he has issues keeping his temper under control, even when it comes to you, and he doesnt want to start any unnecessary arguments.

at the end of the day, communication is key when it comes to you guys relationship, he just wants whats best for both of you!

FOX // YUSUKE KITAGAWA

yusuke has probably never felt the touch of another human being before you so hes very… confused to say the least.

what do you mean youre bleeding? and its normal? this happens monthly? his mind is blown.

i dont see him being weird in the way he wants to use your period as inspiration for a painting, but weird in the way that hell track it.

maybe this just a personal thing who finds it weird when a guy wants to track when your on your cycle, but it seems right up yusukes alley 😭.

hes a little strange, and he just wants to help! but he also doesnt really know what hes doing, so his presence can be a bit overwhelming.

gets pouty when you end up snapping at him, but once you explain why hes a lot more aware of how much hes bothering you.

hes also willing to get you whatever you need, as long as youre buying.

one time you had asked him to get you pads/tampons, and he called you 30 minutes later saying that he didnt have any money…

however, unlike someone else on this list, hes not embarrassed about it. more so genuinely curious, as he loves learning about you and he thinks its important to know how your body works!

hell probably draw you something nice as well if it makes you feel better. :)

CROW // GORO AKECHI

oh boy, akechi sure is a character. and i think with him it depends.

usually though hes just a pretty average guy. hes not stupid, but he also isnt the best at understanding your emotions, or his own, for that matter.

youre in public, akechi talking to one of the tv hosts after hes finished appearing on a show, and you gently tug on his jacket to let him know you started your period, and need the restroom. 

hes conflicted, whats supposed to come first, you or his reputation? when it comes to him, he makes any simple situation way more complicated in his head.

he makes an eternal sacrifice to shoo away the people talking to him, and he quickly takes off his jacket to wrap it around your waist. you both find a bathroom nearby and he paitently waits for you outside.

when you walk out, he offers to pick up whatever you may need (including some food) and take you home.

at your front door, he kisses your cheek, but cant help but noticed the nervous expression on your face.

its only then when you mention that akechis jacket is, in fact, a light color, and is most definitely stained now with bright red blood. his face goes blank, and youre worried for a second he might be mad.

he only shrugs at that, same detective prince smile as always, and jokes that youre paying for his dry cleaning.

#✧;;↬ my work.❞┊🍓 #✧;;↬ baton pass.❞┊🪄 #✧;;↬ 1 more.❞┊🎭 #persona 5 #persona 5 x reader #shin megami tensai persona #persona #joker x reader #ryuji sakamoto x reader #joker x you #ryuji sakamoto x you #yusuke kitagawa x reader #yusuke kitagawa x you #goro akechi x reader #goro akechi x you #fox persona 5 #skull persona 5 #crow persona 5 #joker persona 5

[toffeebrew]

Ink sans headcanons!

Disclaimer: I don't claim anything to be canon. Although, I tried to make sure it didn't conflict with canon for the most part. Erm, I also didn't check the tag before I made this, so of any these are canon/popular hcs i didn't know before making this.

Ink has something similar to a bag of holding tied to his belt. He picks up little trinkets in the aus he visits (something small, of course, like a flower!) It can hold an endless amount of objects. It also stands as as way of reminding him of where hes been and who he's met! he puts any gifts he gets there as well.

He has this weird ability that if you point at something he knows the exact hex code and color name it is. Why? Not even he knows, but it may be a creator giving him knowledge somehow thing.

For his paints? They all taste a little different. They taste like, something? But the exact flavor is so vague it's "hard for him to describe". If anything, they taste like a whole bunch of flavors at once. A little overwhelming to the palate. They all differ in sensation as well, fizzy, smooth, milky etc.

(more yapping under the cut)

Consistency wise, they both smell and have the thickness of acrylic paint. Specifically that kinda watery acrylic paint you can get for cheap at a store (like apple barrel).

Each of his vials has three dosages. One vial is like daily usage. But they can sometimes run out unevenly depending on how bad/good that day is (ex: on an extremely bad day, he has to take more of a positive emotions) so he had extra markings to "top off". Given there's no consistent time frame hes in, he just takes them whenever he wakes up. [ note: this particular headcanon was partially inspired by @/the-local-eldritch-microwave headcanon lol ↓]

He can actually last maybe about few days without his vials, but his emotions just become duller after 24-48 hrs. Taking a sharp decline after about 72 hrs. Their mobility and mental health declines with it as well, so he'd rather not wait for the decline to start! haha unless he got stuck in some situation where he had no choice!!! :D haha

He tried chugging all his vials at once for experimentation! He vomited everywhere. He'll not be attempting that again. Too much at once...

He has a reallllyyyy long scarf so he has enough room for all of his notes. It drags behind him and also dramatically blows behind him when there's a draft. It tracks stuff in it, due to its length. The bottom of his scarf is all colorful because of all the crap hes tracked in it! LOL

If he ever needed it, he'd add more fabric to the end for more notes. I guess eventually it would get cartoonishy long. At least, until it became completely impossible to manage.

On that topic, hes actually quite messy. Although, its more in a "organized chaos" sorta way. He knows where everything is, even if you don't. hes also MESSY not dirty very clear distinction!

In my mind the reason Ink would have a gap tooth in my version is when he was a "sketch" his teeth were more uh implied? So when he's born (how the hell would you word that? conceived? idk) he now has a permanent gap tooth.

#headcanons #inktale #ink sans #inkechos #← i think thats the right tag #sans au #headcanon #undertale au #utmv #utmv ink #all of this is imo ofc #i love talking about this man #love him sm #i want to implement some of my headcanons into his design #but I'm not quite sure how to do it yet #ink sans headcanons #emetophobia #ig? #utmv headcanons #sans au headcanons #toffeesbrews

[sips-tea-cutely]

Bathing together for the first time

osamu dazai, chūya nakahara

cw: a lil nsfw, implied sh (osamu), maki strayed off topic and ranted…

@your--local--freak

#Osamu Dazai

despite how flirtatious he is usually, i think he’d only do this really later into the relationship (1 1/2 year?) it’s something dazai considers pretty intimate and we all know how dazai is with intimacy…

would be more into showers? honestly, he doesn’t have a bias. it isn’t cause he’s rushing to work or anything it’s just that a shower has more freedom to tug at your waist and maybe even a quickie before work 🫶

the first time would be after a long mission. after meeting him at cafe uzumaki, you noticed how whiny and exhausted the brunette was. “haah… my legs are like spaghetti~… darling, please carry me~” he groans. arriving home, he flops on the dining table while you start to prepare a bath for him— going all out too; bath salts, aromatherapy candles, im so jealous </33

dragging a whiny detective who is, not to mention 5’9 is not an easy task. “i was re- eh? is—is this for me?!” he exclaimed. “well, yea it’s not like im showing you a bath i made for myself…” you whisper sarcastically, stealing a giggle from the detective. “hm, do you know what would make me the happiest? if you[!] joined me <3. don’t blush like that, you’ve seen me naked plenty of times” he teasingly frowned.

getting into the bath with you, he dips his whole body in, almost as if he’s trying to drown himself… just kidding, dear~! quietly snickering, he moves back up so that most of his chest is visible, dozens of scars on his shoulders and a prominent slash on his stomach, despite knowing him for years over, it is now you realize how truly little you know about him.

“darling! did no one tell you it’s rude to stare? my…” he grumbles lightheartedly before laughing. his laughs soon die out though once he realizes you aren’t laughing. imagine the mafia prodigy’s shock when you wrapped yourself tightly around him while lightly tracing the faded wounds collected over the years.

laying his head to rest on the bath’s counter, his senses are filled with the overwhelming scent of lavender while his heart tightens in fear and comfort. nothing like this has ever happened to dazai, what should he do in such a situation like this? despite his fear of being loved, this was just to resplendent to avoid, he needed more of these affections, more from you.

despite how scared of love he is, he wants more, call him greedy, call him selfish— all that matters is that you’ll be there to love him just as he will the same

#Chuuya Nakahara

he’d suggest pretty early in on the relationship (after 2-4 weeks of living together). he’s relatively open to anything romantic since well, it’s you! you’re just too lovely to say no to <3

prefers baths! of course, he wouldn’t turn down showering with you either, considering his line of work, any kind of affection is better than nothing. however, he does find baths together much more romantic especially if some slow jazz is playing

ok in the first bullet, i lied. he didn’t really suggest per se, but was pushed into a corner tbh. he came back home quite late and didn’t hear his 4 different alarms ringing and by the time he woke up— shit, it’s already 10! if he didn’t come in by 11:30, mori would probably kick his ass back and forth </33

ah! you were just preparing for your shift as well, mind if he… slides into your shower? wink wink 🤭🤭

he quickly explained his situation to you and being a lovely s/o, agreed <33. honestly rushed it since he was late and all but it was kinda hot seeing steam rush out of the shower as water poured on you both, his silky hair damp as his slim fingers run through them…

later in the day, he felt rlly bad since he’s a sucker for romance and that was just… not it. during his lunch break he went out to a belgian store near his favorite bar and bought some chocolates as well as a bouquet of white orchids, the flowers of apology (totally didn’t choose a for a family member flower to foreshadow marriage thats so wack….)

‘came back on break. wtf is this [insert picture]’ ‘oh i felt bad abt this morning… might not be able 2 go in during ur break tho ig…’ ‘omg how abt u join me later then and make it up to me? 🥰’ ‘[…] so im thinking ill come home a quarter to 11’

despite the conversation, he really did mean everything. having a dangerous job and not to mention constantly putting you in danger is a red flag, the least he could’ve done was be the ideal boyfriend to you, right? no, it’s time to stop thinking like that. love isn’t walking on eggshells with spikes on them; love is unconditional and loyal, it loves no matter the flaws or imperfections. and, god if that isn’t the most romantic thing in the world… 💖

#mod maki #bungo stray dogs imagines #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs imagines #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou sd #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd x reader #bsd imagines #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #osamu dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #chuuya nakahara #chuuya nakahara x reader

[intergalacticaquarium]

Despicable headcanons for eddie munson

Terrible and (sfw) filthy headcanons for eddie munson that make him my dream man

None of this is ironic

- wears all those layers bc he gets cold really really easily and every time he starts to shiver and his teeth start to chatter at like 50 degrees he is completely humiliated

-only remembers to brush his hair about once a week. Usually he just kinda pats it down until it's the right shape. The mats add volume

-DEFINITELY cuts his own bangs

-either got arrested when he was like 17 and booked it into the forest and hopper was like whatever dude I'm busy and he broke the handcuffs in a very stupid and dangerous way

-OR he just found em in the woods bc as somebody that lives near a lot of woods sometimes you find weird shit in there. One time I found super old car with bullet holes in it.

-speaking of yknow sometimes ur in public and you'll see a piece of clothing or a hair tie or a water bottle that somebody obviously left behind and you know not to touch it bc gross? Eddie doesn't know not to touch it. He touches it and picks it up and takes it home and fucking might wash it and definitely wears it

-found his vest on the side of the road in a puddle and took it home like a Charlie brown Christmas tree

-gets no bitches sorry girlies. Extremely surprised to get one bitch but she's a slug woman too so it's tru love. First and foremost what he wants in a partner is for them to be the type to also eat dry cereal by the fistful

- if he scrolled thru the Eddie x reader tag and read the descriptions he would be terrified and would need to look up a lot of terms and would need to go lie down for a second after all that information

-calling Eddie on a bluff is extremely easy and extremely satisying

-full of love

-cries really easily but sometimes that's bc his eyes are huge and it's windy and he's been sitting in the dark for a long time

-has waaaaay too lax a policy on what's OK to eat after you drop it on the floor

-has really bad undiagnosed untreated adhd. Cannot focus unless he's invested, will say the first thing that comes into his brain and regret it instantly and its either something wildly off topic or a response to something you said 3 minutes ago

-sometimes absentmindedly chews on his hair and it gets hard on the ends. To his credit he knows that this is gross

-hey why am I getting turned on writing this thats weird right

-you'd expect him to have like a million stupid fancy bongs that he won't shut up about but actually he has like 4 and only uses one and it's the fucking grodiest yellow tinted black bongwater that hasn't been changed in ages resin inside that looks like fuckin bushes bong you have ever seen and will not use it. One time you steal it and clean it out with an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol. It's still kinda gross when ur done and he genuinely would silently hold it against you for years

-uses his jeans as a napkin

-can't remember the last time he washed his jeans. Says you're not supposed to wash them but put them in the freezer. He does not put them in the freezer either

-smells like cigarettes. This one isn't sexy its just gross if somebody smokes weed and cigarettes they smell like cigarettes if somebody wears cologne and smoke a certain number of cigarettes that is all they smell like and it's kind of overwhelming until you literally air out and febreeze his whole fucking trailer and wardrobe to put a dent in it

-he got those holes in his jeans by falling over onto concrete really hard while trying to carry like 20 things at once inside

-very strangely patchy chest hair

-insomnia and watches a lot of infomercials because of it

-sometimes tastes things that aren't food if he's curious and nobody's around. One time he did lick a frog and it tasted weird and it was bad but he will always know what it tasted like so who's to say if it was a success or not

-laughs at horror movies but gets scared and jumpy for the rest of the night

-eats like an animal or Brad pitt in an oceans movie. If he can eat it with his hands by the fistful he will.

-I wonder if anybody can get which of these are autobiographical and how badly I'm giving myself away rn

-sometimes says and does things he saw his metal musician idols doing without knowing what they meant and being confused when confronted

-has AT LEAST one very badly scarred stick n poke disaster

-there are a lot of these and I honestly could go on probably indefinitely so I'm gonna stop now but every time I read a fic where he's too sexy and fuckable I'm gonna add 2 more to balance it out.

-one last one the wallet chain isn't for fashion it's for fashion AND bc he loses his wallet a lot

#stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson headcanons #stranger things headcanons #its 1 am i woke up at 530 and i feel unhinged rn #and weirdly motivated to download tinder again #unfortunately my inexplicable attraction to soaking wet and slightly pitful men does not extend to real life #that would make things too easy #unless they do it in a very specific way and im back in #and that way is to have greasy long hair and wear a cool jacket OOPS

[reckless-lambert]

Question what do you think of infinite from Sonic forces (don't skip any detail I would like to hear this)

WOAH HELLO!! OK OK OK OK you're in for a ride because I am kinda crazy about this guy.

Right off the bat I wanna say that imo he's not a bad character. Like not in a sense of potential or whatever, I did like him in general.

To try to keep myself on track there will be 3 topics I'll give my opinions on: powers, backstory, character.

POWERS

First of all I don't think that he is a pushover. If we are talking about measuring strength of a character based on their bossfight pretty much all sonic characters up until 06 have bad bossfights that can be finished in seconds so it's not a good measuring point. In terms of lore there are many many many theories to be had, I prefer to look at his encounters from a story standpoint (we don't talk about dying to a flamethrower in 0.5 seconds accident). I think it's safe to assume that Infinite was a capable fighter (hence the title), him being beaten by Shadow doesn't really tell us anything, Shadow is arguably the most powerful character in sonic series so losing to him is to be expected. Infinite was just a very skilled mercenary, what was he supposed to do against teleporting, regenerating, super fast living plasma cannon?!?

Anyways if we are talking about real encounters (after him getting ruby powers) there are many ways to interpret it (other than just saying that it's bad). Here's my understanding of the events. Sonic gets captured at the start of the game because Infinite just overwhelmed him with quality and numbers. After this the whole war happens (no one talks about Infinite conquering 99.9% of the world), Sonic escapes and encounters Infinite in mystic jungle, this time around we can see that Infinite doesn't have illusions of past villains helping him so it's safe to assume that his powers are actually pretty finite (he can't uphold too many illusions all over the world at once, first time he had them helping because he wasn't using them elsewhere), he still beats Sonic and leaves.

Next time we see him in Metropolis, here we see avatar pretty much matching him with his own bullshit (I have a magical rock that neutralises your magical rock) which is fine by me and Infinite still comes out on top thanks to energy blasts and presumed better fighting skills. Escape to null space can be blamed on phantom ruby prototype again. As to why Infinite didn't use it before I assume Eggman and Infinite invented this ability not that long ago.

For the last encounter, Infinite doesn't have to distribute his illusions all over the world so he uses them in battle, but still has a hard time because numbers advantage is no longer on his side + he probably struggles to control so many entities at once so the quality is diminished drastically. He decides that using an all out attack is a better tactic, but yet again kindergarten logic applies so the sun doesn't explode (rock to rock shenanigans). Despite the sun doing nothing I think it drained Infinite's resources drastically + he was using only the backup power. So in the end avatar and Sonic finally beat weakened Infinite only for him to be transported somewhere and never seen again.

In my opinion we can clearly see that Jackal wasn't defeated by power of friendship or avatar or whatever else people tend to say as some sort of parrots. Infinite was defeated only by his own hubris and his own kind of magic. I think he did alright all things considered. He was pretty powerful and I'm fine with the way things played out. The only thing lacking here is good presentation, people just don't take the plot seriously so it all crumbles, but I don't think that it's fair to say that someone is not powerful because you don't take the stakes of the story seriously. Still can't believe that people call a guy with power to create rockets and lasers out of thin air and change gravity at will "all talk". The only reason our characters are alive is thanks to phantom ruby prototypes and Infinite's weird fondness of main cast (if you are complaining about sega not outright killing sonic or other main characters, Infinite is not the one you should blame + I have some ideas as to why he does that described later).

BACKSTORY

Infinite's initial motivation is fiiiine. As we can see in his prequel comic his main desire is to ruin, he even says that "he is tired of this world" at the end of it. So it's safe to assume that our Jackal doesn't like how things are going and wants to overthrow the current world order. As to why he is that way it's up for debate (more about it later). That desire is what drives him towards Eggman.

After unspecified amount of time "episode Shadow" happens. Shadow presumably kills the whole Jackal squad except Infinite whom he deems unworthy of killing and throughoutly insults him instead (super mean! Shadow wtf!). Infinite in attempt to somehow amend his self image after losing everything he had (all thanks to his ambition and Shadow btw), decides to abandon his old self as if it was a different person (sad to look at) and double down on alliance with Eggman because it's all he has left - professor's promise of greatness, something to cling onto. So that's how we get to forces. Some might say that Infinite doesn't really enact revenge on Shadow in any way, but there're still things to consider: 1. He actively avoids his old identity, so you can say that he avoids Shadow and feelings tied to him in the same way (doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't feel them) 2. Eggman could have done some mental gymnastics with the Jackal. It's pretty easy considering that Shadow is a self proclaimed guardian of this world (he made a promise and all of that) + he works for GUN. So what better way to enact revenge than to ruin all the things your enemy stands for? Bonus points for this objective coinciding with his initial motivation.

Those options are something I thought of, I think they create a rather straight forward narrative + nobody said that those are the only ones.

Anyways I hate how people yet again somehow diled his story down to "Shadow beat him called him ugly and now hes bad". As if killing his whole squad is nothing, like Infinite's character can be interpreted in many ways, but even if you think that he is a cold hearted killing machine - how can he live as a captain and a sole survivor of the squad, it's the end of his mercenary life if captain is the only one standing that means he fucked up real bad it's the ultimate failure, there's no recovering your career after that.

CHARACTER

I saved this one for last because It's almost purely my headcanons and subjective opinions. Anyways as I mentioned above Infinite is not fond of current civilization for some reason. My take is that:

1. He hates united federation for some reason. I think it would be funny if jackal squad were some sort of child soldiers GUN experimented on. Desert is already torn apart by bandits Eggman and feds fighting all over the place, no one will notice random street orphans missing (a lil metal gear revengeance brainrot for ya). But they deserted and became a more evil versions of desert raiders from Archie becoming a nuisance for every party involved: collecting bounties, raiding Eggman's bases and GUN convoys - earning reputation and fame. But jackals' hate for their previous captors is not forgotten and it's also mutual as UF probably wants them dead as soon as possible because they are a living proof of their dark deeds.

2. I think Infinite has problems coping with all the things he was deprived of. His first instinct is hate "how dare they live normal happy lives while I'm fighting for my life every day!" And because all he knows is conflict he thinks that living by jungle rules is the only right way and everyone else is living a lie (that's how I interpret his lyrics). So his desire to ruin the civilisation stems from his idea that jungle rules shall return, and UF citizens should suffer the same way he does. (Spreading misery is fun amiright)

Also I don't think that jackal squad was a family or a friend group, more like a congregation of equaly fucked up individuals who kinda trust each other with tasks, as soon as they deem you a burden they will abandon you. Also imagine the pressure captain of such group would endure. Infinite is not ok. He is partially driven by pride, but also by peer pressure of his fellow child soldiers, being cruel = being strong. As a leader he must be the strongest. That's why his sadism might not be inherent to his character. Also I do think that he was bullied in his unregulated child environment, heterochromia and girly tendencies make him a prime target (CMON PEOPLE dude has the longest hair in the whole franchise and presumably lived in highly militarized environment, there will be problems). I guess he just powered through (it's hard to bully you when you are the strongest).

Anyways coming back to episode Shadow I think Infinite was so scared of not being in control, being pretty much bullied by some stranger. So he did what he always does - search for more power.

Interesting side note here is that Infinite doesn't really have ambition, he doesn't create himself a castle or even a throne (and he is someone with power to create things from thin air, for example it took Zetis 1-2 days to throw together those in idw, he doesn't do it despite having the whole year). He just wants power to not be pushed around and push around others (I IMPLORE you to understand, he is not a nice person, but it doesn't mean that people should just give up on him, my boy needs help).

Also I think episode Shadow warped his brain really hard, like he tries so hard to re-enact his own trauma onto others many many times despite clearly seeing it not working except the first time with avatar. Like we can clearly see that it's all he thinks about, how not deeming someone worthy of killing is the most painful thing he can inflict on them, far more painful than just outright killing the guy. This hinders his critical thinking really hard and it's sad to look at.

Anyways that's pretty much all of my thoughts on this guy (says the guy who thinks about him every day for past 1.5 years, I can mumble on and on, but it will never end if I do), hope you enjoyed!

#a very long #mumbling #I love #infinite the jackal #and #sonic forces #asks #also sorry english is not my native language so long rants are a bit hard for me #there might be a lot of mistakes #I hope it's readable #lore?

[thepaintedlady00]

Nightshade

Chapter 20 | Chapter 22

Chapter 21: Interlude - The Sinner

TW: some morning fluff, lots of nervous tension and both our idiots knowing they need to talk, language, mentions of smoking, minor feelings of abandonment and frustration and anger, Jake's not in a good mood this chapter, huge Howard icks this chapter, some stalkerish behavior, Someone's Simone, complicated family dynamics, mentions of drugs and alcohol, Jake's also a bit jealous kinda, breaking and entering, non graphic depictions of masturbation, non graphic mentions of illegal porn and rape, some tragic backstory and bonding, depictions of violence and anger, controlling feelings, the idiots finally have a talk (not the one y'all hoped tho) and of course some closing fluff.

Okay y'all, this chapter goes quick and there's a lit going on! Some topics are pretty heavy so if you need to skip please do, I'll be more than happy to offer anyone a condensed summary if they need it. As always enjoy!

Jake wasn't a morning person. He never had been. The very thought of getting up earlier than ten - nine if he was really pushing it - made him want to physically groan and grumble. It was the sunlight that woke him that morning. Hemingway had shoved his curtains to the side just enough for the magnified reflection of the too early morning sun to blind him. 

Blinking a few times, he tried to roll, intending to bury his head beneath his pillow and go right back to sleep, but a solid weight pressed into his left side and stilled him. It took a minute for him to blink the sleepy haze from his eyes enough to recognize the halo of soft hair that spilled across his shoulder and pillow. Red hair.

Lena.

This is a dream, he thought to himself. It was always a dream… It had to be a dream. Then that disbelief - that tired urge to groan and grumble vanished, replaced by his mind playing back the events of last night. Just seconds after being rudely woken up, Jake was assaulted by the full brunt of the truth. This wasn't a dream.

Lena had spent the day with him running errands. She'd admired his apartment, played with their dumb cat, and then entertained his impulsive and rather invasive photoshoot. He'd felt her come on his fingers, heard her begging and desperate repetition of the words that made his heart hammer in his chest. "I want you."

Holy fuck. Jake forced saliva down his dry throat, unable to take his eyes off her peaceful, sleeping face and how fucking good she looked in his shirt. This isn't a dream. His chest rose and fell, lifting her head and all that red hair with it. This is real.

Part of him felt so silly and childish for getting this worked up over a girl in his bed. Jake had had plenty of girls in his bed. But he'd never had this girl there. As he tentatively settled back into his bed, hands guiding along the soft skin of Lena's body, he relinquished total control to the other part of him. The part that told him to savor this moment. The part that felt so entirely complete holding this girl in his arms.

Jake couldn't go back to sleep, not while his entire being hummed and that damn smell of her cherry perfume mingled perfectly with the scent of his shampoo. So, Jake settled beside her, shifting just enough to see her face more clearly. His fingers carefully tucked her hair behind her ear, dancing over her cheek. He drank in the sight of her nose scrunching up and the sleepy mumbles she made as she buried her face in him.

God, she's so beautiful, he thought, eyes dragging down the length of her. The blankets had been shoved down, and his shirt had ridden up, exposing her hips. The overwhelming need to feel her skin beneath his palms overcame him, only satiated once his hand settled on her hip and pulled her into him. He closed his eyes for a second, smiling as she moved again, her arm winding around his middle, nails gently digging into his back as she settled.

It didn't matter what she was wearing or what she was doing. Jake knew then that Lena would always be the most beautiful girl he'd ever had in his bed. And, though he'd never admit it, he knew then and there that he didn't want another girl in his bed again. Just her. Only her.

He didn't know how long they lay there before she shifted again. And, quite honestly, as he watched Lena stretch and delicately flutter her lashes until the sleep faded from her green eyes, he didn't care. Jake was sure she could hear his heart hammering in his chest as her lips curved into a still-tired smile and the soft whisper of her voice rolled across his skin. "Hi."

"Hi," he replied with a chuckle, lifting his hand to brush the hair from her face once again. Her cheeks turned rosy, and that smile widened. Beautiful. Dumbly, he smiled back, repeating the word as his mind erased everything else but her. "Hi."

Her giggle echoed between them. Her nose scrunching as she moved closer, bringing her hand up to his cheek, fingers tapping against it for a moment before gently pressing her lips to his. Lena was soft, maybe a little half asleep, but still, she consumed him entirely with just one tiny, impossibly soft kiss. As she pulled away, she said the word again, a light teasing that just made him fall even more, "Hi."

Jake had to remind himself to breathe - he had to remind himself to do anything else but kiss her again. So, instead, he brought his fingers to her temple and asked, "How's your head feeling? Figured you'd have one hell of a hangover."

"It's not that bad," Lena insisted, her eyes fluttering shut and a content noise rumbling through her throat as he massaged her head. When she opened them again, his heart skipped a beat. "Sorry about that, by the way."

He chuckled at her ridiculous habit of apologizing for everything. "Don't worry about it, princess. You're a pretty fun drunk."

Watching her roll her eyes and scoff at him, Jake held back a smirk. "You're just saying that 'cause I basically threw myself at you."

"That did give me quite the ego boost," he admitted, finally grinning ear to ear. "But, it was a good night."

"It was a really good night."

It would have been better if I'd fucked you properly, he thought, imagining how good it would have felt to feel her… Really, truly feel her. Forcing his lips to remain neutral, Jake stumbled on his words, "So… I…" I want you to stay. "What now?"

"You seem flustered." She replied smugly, sitting up and leaning over his chest with an exaggerated look of shock and a fake gasp. "Am I your first?"

Jake laughed, resisting the urge to respond with equal smugness. He sat up, hands holding onto her, keeping her chest pressed to his, bringing them face to face. His eyes focused on her plump lips, the need to kiss her until they were both sick of it filling him with a tingled sensation. "Don't let it go to your head, princess."

Her eyes sparkled playfully. "So I am your first. That's cute of you."

"I've had plenty of women spend the night," he finally replied. "I'm just not used to them staying for breakfast the next day."

She bumped his nose with her own and continued teasing him. "What makes you think I'm staying for breakfast?"

God… "You're still here, aren't you?"

"Oh, come on, pretty boy! You gotta ask me properly." She pushed out her bottom lip, a silent plead for him to play along, but also one that made his grip on her tighten as the need to have her only consumed him more.

Nodding his head, he gave her the exact answer she wanted, "Lena, would you like to stay for breakfast?"

Her soft hum made him shiver. "I'd love to."

Jake felt his body curling into hers, head dipping on a steady path toward her lips. But he forced himself to stop. He forced himself to remain in control of himself and his urges. If he kissed her now they wouldn't be leaving his bed… They wouldn't be able to have the discussion they needed to. So, he took a deep breath and squeezed her hips one last time before carefully moving her back and getting out of bed. "I, uh, don't know what I have that's edible."

"Got stuff for shitty eggs?" She asked, distractedly inviting Hemingway into her lap and scratching beneath his chin.

"Careful, my version of shitty eggs is actually shitty."

"If I can survive Patrick's attempt at eggs, I'm sure I can survive yours." She stood then, the golden glow of the sunlight making her look heaven-sent. He couldn't look away from her, eyes dragging down from her face to appreciate fully the view of her in nothing but his shirt. Fuck… She's too fucking perfect. "I'm gonna get dressed."

He nodded, pulling his mind out of the gutter and turning toward the kitchen. "You can shower if you need to. What's mine is yours."

 "Thanks."

Jake stared blankly in the cupboard, feeling the goosebumps that climbed up his arms at the faint noise of her inhabiting his space so intimately. It was almost pathetic how easily worked up he was where Lena was concerned. It was almost sad how desperate he'd become.

All she needed to do was look at him, and his heart was skipping beats. Every sound, every word that came out of her mouth, had him captured in seconds. He would know her laugh, her voice… Even the sound of her breathing in the dark. Jake would be able to find her, feel her, even if every other sense was taken from him. 

Jake knew Lena on a level he'd known no one else, and that simple, undeniable fact scared him. He wasn't new to sex. He wasn't new to casual dating. He wasn't even new to the idea of intimacy. All the years he'd had of practice or experience, it was useless when it came to this… When it came to her.

Simone had spent years trying to coach him through relationships. She'd put so much of her time and her kindness into trying to help him form some kind of bond outside of their own, and she'd failed every time. It was something he used to be grateful for. At least then, he knew he'd be alright with just her love. At least then, he knew Simone was enough. But now…

Hemingway purred at his feet lovingly but also bossily meowing at him. Food. Right. He grabbed the cat food from the cupboard, opened the can, and spooned the contents into the small cat dish. While the hairless thing ate, Jake stared at the bathroom door. He listened to the sound of his sink running and listened to the quiet sounds of Lena getting dressed. It was comforting… And unsettling all at once.

She was so close. She was in his home, his space, touching his things… Lena was seeing him as he was. Broken and desperate and selfish. It made him want to push her away, to craft some lie or hurtful insult to get her out. Jake wanted to treat her as if she were no different from any of his other female visitors. But she was different. She was important… Special. 

I can't lose this, he thought to himself, forcing any and all uncomfortable feelings deep down inside him. I can't fuck this up. He actively resisted the urge to self-destruct. Then and there, Jake took a deep breath, steeling himself and committing to the thought in his mind. He was going to talk to her. He was going to admit what he felt, and he was going to fight to keep this… Whatever it was in his life.

The doorknob started to turn. Nervous tension filled his gut, forcing his lips to seal shut and his body to throw itself across the kitchen. He opened a random cupboard, pretending to search as he listened to her approach. The feeling of her eyes roaming over his half-naked body made him feel hot as he turned his head to smile at her. His hand fumbled for the refrigerator handle. "I don't think I've got any eggs." His fridge was empty, save a half gallon of milk and some questionable Chinese food. "Or… Well, anything really."

Lena caught his gaze for a split second before she ducked her head, hiding her blushing cheeks as she fished through her bag. She was nervous, too. Shit, he cursed. This is really happening. He felt sick and excited. It was long overdue that they had this discussion. "I'm sure a man of your talents can figure something out. We could always go out somewhere, too. I'm not picky."

Jake looked at the fridge again, chuckling to himself. He wondered if he should start or if he should wait and let her. "Probably a good idea unless week-old Chinese food sounds appetizing to you."

He expected a quip or something, but Lena was quiet. Jake turned his head and looked at her, head still ducked, but her hands now trembling as she held her phone. He could see the quickened rise and fall of her back as she stared down, frozen. "Lena?" 

She didn't respond to him. "Oh god…"

"Lena?" Closing the fridge door made her jump, looking up at him with uncertain, watering eyes. "Hey, you okay?"

"I forgot…" She mumbled, lips quivering and voice cracking. Before he had a chance to ask what she meant, she was gathering her things. "I… forgot."

"What?" She turned, a blur of red hair, and haphazardly gathered things, swinging his door open and starting to leave. "Lena, wait!"

He stood out in his hallway, shirtless, shoeless, and helpless as she practically ran away from him and down the stairs. "Fuck!" He cursed, slamming his door and running across the apartment to force his window open. The sidewalk was already crowded, but he could still make out her red hair as she wove between bodies, wiping her eyes and hastily moving as if her life depended on it. "Fuck!"

Jake slammed the window shut, pressing his head to it as the gut-dropping disappointment and anger replaced all the good that the morning had opened with. He was angry… Angry at her for leaving… Angry at himself for being dumb enough to just let her go. But, more than that, Jake was disappointed that he'd put off all he'd wanted to say. What are we? What is this? Do you feel the same soul-crushing want that I do?

He fucking hated mornings.

*

After setting Hemingway up for the night, Jake grabbed his bike and his leather jacket and headed to work. He held out hope that Lena would be more willing to talk to him about her sudden departure after having some time to work through whatever it was she needed to. But that hope was quickly snuffed out when he spent almost an hour in the alley and the kitchen waiting.

In the quiet of the locker room, he sent Lena a quick text, hoping she'd at least reply and let him know she was alright. Another hope was quickly put to rest when Will entered with the new girl, that too-good smile on his face as he showed her the locker next to his and wished her luck on her first day. Asshole, he thought bitterly to himself. Will didn't have any problems with his relationship so in Jake's mind he could get fucked.

The new girl waved and smiled at him nervously. "Guess we're neighbors."

Jake looked her up and down, nodding his head stiffly. "Guess so." He slammed his locker shut and brushed past her without another word.

Family meal felt emptier. Simone was off doing whatever needed doing, and Jake was stuck listening to everyone rave about their amazing nights. Jake's night topped all of them, but he couldn't exactly tell them that. Not that he'd wanted to anyway.

"Changelings," Howard started, voice ringing out with a low but very audible tone of disappointment. "Has anyone heard from Lena this morning?"

Sasha giggled to himself. "Has the Tiger finally clawed her way out of her cage?"

Heather rolled her eyes. "She's probably running late or something. She doesn't seem like the type to skip work on a whim."

"I dunno," Ari chimed in. "She's got that bad girl spark in her."

Howard just glared at Jake with a deep frown and stalked off. Once he was well out of earshot, Sasha leaned over. "Jakey looks extra grumpy today!"

Ari nodded, reaching over to poke his cheek. "Yeah, he does. Did you not get enough beauty sleep or what?"

His mind instantly recalled the night he'd had. The way Lena had looked in that red lingerie with the setting sun made her eyes and hair glow. He remembered how impossible it'd felt not to throw his camera and get on his knees for her whenever her face started to twist in pleasure. At that moment, it was like he was reliving that amazing, wonderful, too-good night. But then he felt Ari's finger poking his cheek, and it all came crashing down with the memory of Lena running out on him.

"Fuck off!" He hissed, slapping her hand away from him as he stood with his plate.

Sasha's eyebrows wiggled as he laughed. "Yikes!"

"Someone clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!" Ari yelled after him.

He ignored them for the most part, tossing his food into the trash and setting his plate in the bus tub that sat in front of the new hostess. She smiled at him, a blush creeping up her neck onto her cheeks, but Jake hardly noticed. His mind was too focused on Lena, on how good it felt waking up that morning and how shitty he felt now that it was over, and he still had no clue why.

Nicky kept any remarks he had to himself as they started prepping for the night, a thing Jake was grateful for. As he cut the garnishments, his mind and body raged inside him. Anger and frustration and confusion and everything in between roaring beneath his skin. He didn't know what to think, what to feel… He just knew it hurt somewhere.

Scott tapped him on the shoulder, discreetly staking some glasses. "Apparently, our Asian investor took a look at the building today."

"Yeah?" He asked though he couldn't have been less interested.

"Yeah, Red shot me a text a few minutes ago, letting me know it went well."

Jake shook his head, blood boiling inside him. "Did she?"

Scott gave him a look, one not unlike his usual one. "Try fuckin smiling for two minutes. This is good news."

He put on a clearly fake smile. "Yeah, whatever. Now get the fuck off my bar."

"Dickhead."

Once Scott was gone, Jake pulled his phone from his pocket and scoffed. No messages. The hurt knawed on inside his chest, twisting into an angry, resentful feeling as he pressed on and kept the mask of uncaring boredom intact. So she's got time to talk to Scott but can't bother replying to me? He knew it likely wasn't personal. He knew, realistically, that he'd done nothing wrong, but for whatever reason, Jake still felt like he'd somehow fucked it all up.

A neatly clipped pile of papers slapped onto the bar in front of him with a clean, manicured hand patting them. Simone offered him a wide smile. She looked good today, her hair neat, her lips red, and even her eyes seemed to have their normal glow back. "Good morning, my love."

"Morning," he replied thinly.

"Take these to Howard's office."

Jake scoffed at the documents, ones for the guest book. "Why don't you fuckin do it?"

Simone placed her hand on his, halting his slicing and meeting his eyes with a wider gaze. If she'd been anyone else, he would've thought she was crazy, but Jake knew this look. This was a warning. She'd found something. Simone slowly repeated herself, "Take these to Howard's office."

"Where do I put 'em?" He asked, taking the pages. 

"Right-hand side, bottom drawer." She nodded her head. "Don't mess up his chair."

Jake had been in Howard's office many times before this. Usually, he'd be on the opposite side of his desk receiving a stern lecture, but today, it felt more serious. He rounded the desk, ignoring the stacks of papers and the little trinkets Howard surrounded his computer with. If it had been another day, a less serious situation, Jake would have messed with the manager's precious chair, but instead, he just shoved it out of the way and opened the drawer Simone had told him to.

A hot, consuming dread filled his chest at the sight of Lena's things stuffed inside. Her hairbrush, her bra, her shirt. For a minute, his thoughts ran wild, remembering how he'd found out about Tess and Howard. It was a similar feeling, but this time it felt so much worse. He almost slammed the drawer shut and resigned himself to the idea that he'd been duped by some backwaiter again, but then it all froze.

This is the shirt she lost… He realized. And that's the bra that got ruined by sauce. It slammed into him like a train, the realization that all the things Howard had tucked away were things Lena had misplaced over the months. She wasn't sleeping with Howard. She would never sleep with Howard. He was going through her things. Dread turned to rage in seconds.

Footsteps echoed down the hall, and Jake closed the drawer, fixed Howard's chair, and set the papers where they belonged. His body and mind were raging with sheer desire to pin the little manager to the wall and demand an explanation, but as he exited the office, Simone gave him a stern look and a shake of her head. He couldn't just attack Howard, he knew that, but fuck did he want to.

Service dragged on that night. Every second felt slower than it should have, but that might've just been Jake constantly checking the clock. He needed to get the hell out of here before he did something reckless. He needed to find Lena and tell her about what a creepy fuck Howard was. Every free moment he had, Jake was watching. Howard wasn't stupid, so he felt the bartender's intense glare, but the snake pretended like it didn't matter to him.

The new hostess was clumsy, tripping over her words and nervously greeting the guests. Howard compensated for her lack of experience with his own charming greetings. It was annoying and fake, just like he was. Nicky noticed his foul mood and his focus on Howard, but instead of trying to pry or take his mind off it, he simply put in an extra big smile and kept the guests from being too annoying.

It was relieving when the last guests left, and everyone finally settled into the seats around the bar. Normally, he'd feel relaxed, but he was just as tense as he'd been at the start of this shift from hell. As he and Nicky served everyone drinks, Jake felt Howard's stare. The tension between them was palpable as he gladly returned the look. It wasn't an odd interaction for them, but that night, Jake could see him for what he really was. 

The cold eyes of 22West's manager were now filled with a predatory gleam whenever Jake looked at him. "Goodnight, Changelings."

Watching him leave, Jake felt tempted to follow him, even threaten him. But, he held his tongue and stiffly finished the shift drinks. When Simone finally stood from her table and casually made her way toward the back, he finished Heather's drink and turned.

Nudging Nicky, he nodded to the door. "I'm gonna change." In the locker room, Simone changed slowly, clearly waiting for him. He unbuttoned his shirt and sighed. "You obviously have an opinion, so just say it."

Simone's lips thinned. "I think this is proof enough that the two of them are more intimately acquainted than you thought."

Jake shook his head. "She wouldn't be fucking Howard."

"Jake," she hissed. "Please open your eyes! Ever since she started here, he's been doting on her. I know she's a Glover, but even in a nepotistic way, Howard's behavior is too much. He's dressing her up in fancy gowns and his dead wife's jewelry, for God's sake!" Composing herself, she placed a hand on his chest. "I know you're fond of her. I just… I don't want you to get blindsided by Howard and some backwater again."

He nodded, leaning in to press his head into hers for a moment. "I know."

Straightening up, she nodded again. "That's my opinion. Do what you will with it."

"Thank you, Simone."

"Goodnight. See you tomorrow, preferably on time."

"I know, I know."

He finished getting dressed, making sure he was the last person in the building before he snuck into Howard's office and emptied that drawer of Lena's things. Once that was done, he made his way to Ozzy's alone, hopefully, to find Lena and talk to her. They had too much to talk about. Howard. This morning. Their feelings. The rest could wait, he'd convinced himself. But the shit with Howard had to be addressed now.

Among the lights and music and dancing bodies, Jake searched for her red hair, her green eyes, or even her tiger tattoo, but she wasn't there. Fuck, he cursed, making his way to the bar. He'd expected to find Ozzy at least, but no, not even the big man was in tonight. What the fuck is going on today?

Dom stood at the edge of the bar, watching him with furrowed brows. For a minute, Jake was convinced that the biker somehow already knew what was going on. Patrick clapped a hand on Jake's shoulder, the haze in his eyes making it clear he'd had a few drinks already. "Hey, little brother! How you been?"

"I'm fine. Is Lena around?"

The burly man's face contorted, guilt filling that mirthful smile with poison. "You ain't gonna find her here tonight."

Shit. With a sigh, Jake decided, "Then I guess it's you I'm telling."

He smirked, shaking off that look. "I'm all ears!"

Jake sighed and just decided it was best to come right out with it. "I found some of Lena's things in Howard's desk at work."

Patrick's eyes hardened in an instant. "What?"

"Today at work, I went to put some papers on his desk and found a bunch of her shit. A hairbrush, a shirt… A bra."

"Get your ass upstairs." He turned and found Dom, giving the man nothing more than a nod before practically dragging Jake away from the bar.

Upstairs, Peter was sitting on the couch in their small living room with a cat and a book in his lap when Patrick stomped up the stairs with Dom in tow. His eyes narrowed. "What's goin' on?"

Pat nodded to Jake. "You tell him what you told me."

"Today at work, I found some of Lena's things in Howard's office."

"What kind of things?" Dom asked.

"A hairbrush, a shirt, and a bra."

Peter's mouth twisted into a tight line as he stood up. "Fuck! I told you… I fucking told you!"

Dom held a hand up. "If he's got anything serious, I'll find it."

"Oh, so now you wanna check?" Patrick sneered.

"Shut up." Jake was surprised by the raw, animalistic brutality of Dom's tone toward Patrick, but he kept his mouth shut. He turned to Peter. "How do you wanna do this?"

Jake could tell Peter wanted to ask the drug dealer to make Howard pay. He could see the violence and the restraint tug on his features. "Cleanly. I wanna be sure before we make any rash decisions."

Patrick scoffed, shaking his head. "We should be busting that fuckers door down and breaking his goddamn knees."

"I'll go now. The sooner it gets done, the better." Dom turned toward the door and suddenly paused, looking back at Jake. "You comin' tough guy?"

All eyes turned to him."Did you want me to?"

The biker shrugged. "Might be good for you."

Jake knew he could have easily declined, but he needed somewhere to put all the built-up anger and frustration. It was a perfect opportunity not just to see Howard taken down a peg but to maybe get some answers out of Dom about his relationship with Lena. So, Jake nodded and followed the biker downstairs, where the others waited by their bikes, clearly ready to follow whatever orders Dom gave.

Nodding to an empty bike, Dom asked, "Can you ride?"

"I've fucked around on dirtbikes before."

He made a face and shook his head. "You ride with John then."

The silver-haired old man nodded Jake over and fixed his gloves as he climbed on. "Don't fall off or nothin. I ain't gonna stop if ya do."

"I won't fall off," he replied with a frustrated breath. They stood around for a few minutes longer as Dom gathered some choice individuals together to give them the rundown. While he spoke in hushed tones, Jake could see the pure rage inside him. It was a feeling that mirrored his own, one that made some ugly feeling rise up once again inside him.

For as long as he'd known Dom and seen him interact with Lena, he couldn't help but feel like the two were more than just drug dealer and ex-addict. So, Jake settled on the back of John's bike and asked, "He seems pretty riled up about Lena."

John mostly ignored him. "Ain't we all. She's a good kid."

"Yeah," he said slowly. "But, there's gotta be something there, right?"

"Whatchu gettin' at, boy?"

"Dom and Lena," Jake finally just said it simply. "How long were they an item?"

The old man cackled then, tossing his head back and laughing like a deranged man. Instead of answering Jake's question, he started his bike, revved the engine, and yelled, "BETTER HOLD ON YA TWIT!"

Riding with the gang was a lot different from the one short ride he'd taken with Lena in a lot of ways. It was louder, far more reckless, and he felt distinctly out of place among them. As they rode through the crowded streets, they'd shout inside jokes to each other and teasingly almost crash their bikes into one another's. Thrilling but not the kind Jake found himself appreciating as much.

When they finally stopped in front of Howard's house, the bikes lined the street for almost a whole block. He left John's side and found the only familiar face in the sea of leather. Ryker stood with his arms crossed and a stony expression on his face. When he saw the bartender approach, he spared a smile. "Good to see you decided to join us."

"You know me, I'm all about this kind of thing."

"Hmm, just try not to get in the way too much."

Jake watched Dom for a moment as he spoke with John, the burning need to ask that same question boiling over inside him. "So, Dom and Lena?"

Ryker just shook his head. "You're not very bright, are you?"

Before he could reply with an equally insulting quip, Dom whistled. "Alright, you all know the drill. Tough guy, you're with me."

Breaking into Howard's home was easier than he'd expected. Another biker, a man they called Wit, picked the lock in under a minute and opened the door for Dom and him to enter. He was nervous, stepping foot in his manager's home illegally, but he was committed to getting the truth and exposing Howard for what he was.

The bottom floor was empty, but Jake could hear noise echoing from upstairs. He led the way as Dom followed close behind him, moving through the long hallway quietly before finding the half-open door of Howard's home office. He could hear the noise more clearly now, sounds that he knew damn well were some kind of porn.

Suppressing a laugh, joy-filled Jake as he realized he'd not only be exposing Howard's actions but his tiny cock too. He swung the door open, letting Dom enter alongside him. The tv turned off in a second, the manager's quick motion sending the remote across the room. Howard fumbled to cover himself with his pants. "GET OUT!" He glared at Jake, recognition finally taking hold. "You… You're fired! You hear me, you're fucking fired!"

Dom moved around the desk, grabbing Howard by the shirt with a thin sneer. "Shut the fuck up or I'll shut you up."

He bent over and picked the remote up, flipping it in his hand as he chuckled. "You know, I've always been curious about what uptight assholes like you get off to."

"Don't!" Howard pleaded.

Jake turned, pressing the button once again, not hearing Dom's shout until it was too late. The screen came to life, the noise filling the room, noise that made every hair on his body stand on end. There was too much going on for him to process fully… It was like he was watching a car crash. He was horrified, disgusted, but couldn't look away. Then the camera shifted, and a hand marred with a fresh, jagged scar took a fistful of the poor girl's hair… Red hair. Jake felt his heart drop.

Lena.

Dom abandoned Howard and grabbed the remote from Jake's loose grip, quickly turning the TV back off. For a minute, all he could do was stand there and stare at the blank screen where the image of her being… With a short breath, he turned and looked at Dom. The question didn't need to be spoken, and neither did the answer. Dom's eyes said it all.

Anger replaced the need to vomit, and Jake turned, fist clenched and raised in seconds. He'd punched people before, but this one… This one felt different. At first, he thought it was because he'd finally gotten the chance to hit Howard, but then he punched him again and again and again. Jake didn't stop until Ryker and another biker pulled him off, and as they pulled him back, Jake's lungs filled with fire. "YOU SICK MOTHERFUCKER!"

It was then that Jake accepted the truth of it. He didn't hit Howard because he was an asshole. He did it because he had a video of Lena. Not just some dumb sex tape… Not just any video, but one of her being violated. Howard was getting off to watching her being held down… raped. At that moment, all the questions Jake had been trying to piece together for months were suddenly answered.

This was Lena's story. It was the painful past she could never bring herself to share. It was why all the violence and the near-death experiences didn't seem to phase her. And then, all at once, he realized that this was likely just a sliver of the truth. A thing that Dom's eyes only confirmed. As Jake fought against the bikers that held him, he could hear her voice - that sad, pained voice - echoing in his head. "There are worse things than dying."

"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" He screamed, though he and Dom knew the words weren't for Howard, just like the punches hadn't been.

Well, the first punch had been solely for Howard, for the sick fucking monster Jake now knew without a doubt he was, but the second… The third, fourth, and fifth ones had been for the man that wasn't here. The man that Nana had been using prayer to ward off. The man that had raped her… The man that she was still living in fear of.

Strong arms held him back as Dom returned to Howard's side. "Are there any more?"

"N… No…" Howard sniffled in reply. "Please don't hurt me…"

"Shut up!" Dom growled, hand curling around Howard's throat. "You don't get to beg. Now, I'm only gonna ask you this once. Where did you get the tape?"

Howard's lips quivered as he shook his head. "I…"

Dom's fist rattled against the desk. "WHERE?!"

"He… He gave it to me…"

"Are you still in contact with him?" Howard nodded. Dom's grip loosened and gently let Howard fall back in his chair. "Good. You're gonna send him a message for me."

Jake watched, chest heaving and lungs burning still as Dom leaned down to whisper in Howard's ear. The manager nodded along, desperate and stupid. "Alright… Okay…"

Ryker handed him the tape, and Dom straightened up. "My boy here will be keeping a close eye on you from now on." He tapped Howard's bruised, bleeding face. "So let's all be on our best behavior from here on out."

Howard could only mumble his compliance as Dom turned to Ryker and nodded. The tall man smiled. "You heard the boss. Let's tear it apart!"

Dom touched Jake's shoulder and told the men holding him to let go. As the weight on his arms vanished, he had half the mind to leap at Howard again, but Dom stared him down. "Come on, tough guy. It's time we had a real chat."

"Yeah, alright," he replied, following Dom out onto the sidewalk. 

The chilled night air helped cool his temper and clear his head, but with that came the unbearable weight of what he'd seen on that tape. Dom held the cursed thing in his hands, and as Jake looked down at it, he felt the burning hatred for that man - that still unnamed figure - grow. At this point, he didn't need to meet him to even know his name. He'd make sure the bastard paid somehow.

Watching Dom light a cigarette and stand beside him in silence, Jake wanted to ask him the questions that would now haunt him. He wanted to know… To understand everything about that tape and the horrors that he still had no clue about. What happened to her? His mind thought. How did she survive that?

"I wasn't always a drug dealer, you know. I used to be a mechanic," He finally said, blowing smoke from between his lips with a shake of his head. "I worked on cars and fucked women and lived my life."

"So, how'd you end up here?" It wasn't the question or the topic Jake expected, but he was willing to listen.

"Like everyone else." Dom's face never changed, his eyes still glued to the spot in front of him. "I had a sister. One a lot like Lena. Smart, funny, strong. She had dreams and goals, and she was just so determined to make them happen in that annoying way that they have, you know? She was everything to us… To me. She was everything, and then she was gone."

"What happened?

"Running a business ain't cheap. Especially when there's about eighty shops just like it," Dom replied bitterly. "And someone's always gotta pay. Whether that's with money or with blood, someone pays. I had accumulated quite a debt trying to keep my place open. Debt to people that don't just let that kinda shit go, ya know? And bein’ a hot-headed, ill-tempered fucking idiot, I pissed a lot of people off. My brother," Dom nodded at Jake's surprised look, "Yeah, got one of those too. He ran with a sketchy crew and offered to help me out with some cash. I didn't know that help came with a long night of getting fucked up on drugs, but I did it, hoping my sister would actually get both her big brothers in one room together for Christmas that year. By the time I sobered up and got home... She was dead."

He didn't know what to say, didn't know if he should say anything at all. "They came that night while I was out. Apparently, someone had tipped them off that I was going to a rival or some shit to get outta paying, and they decided I needed to be taught a lesson. I don't... I don't know exactly what they did to her, but I know they drug it out. She was still warm when I got there." His voice was rough now, struggling to get the words out. "Her eyes were the only thing recognizable about her."

"Shit... I..."

"I don't want your pity," he spat, turning now to look at him. "I want you to understand before you fuck up the best thing that's ever happened to you by runnin' your mouth. What's between me and Lena isn't sexual, not even remotely. There has not been one moment of our time together where that's been in question, so stop askin' dumb shit."

He shouldn't have been surprised that Dom heard of his questions. The gang was nothing if not loyal to him. So, he simply nodded in agreement. "Okay."

"Now that that's outta the way, I need you to understand something else."

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "What?"

"That girl has been through hell. You think what you saw tonight was fucked up? You don't know nothin’. Now, she'll pretend and deny it, but she's got a good heart. I know the boys already gave you the speech, but I wanted to make sure you really got it. If you ever hurt her, I will not hesitate to throw your body in the river." The man paused, wide eyes filled with tears that would never fall. "I won't lose another sister."

Then, Jake fully understood Dom's actions - he understood who he was and who Lena was to him. With a nod, he replied, "I wouldn't hurt her. Not ever."

Dom nodded and clapped a hand on Jake's shoulder. "You did good tonight, Jake."

That was the first time the drug-dealing biker had ever called him by his name. Hearing his name be spoken with an underlying tone of respect felt good. "I have questions."

"I know," the man acknowledged. "And I have answers, some at least. The rest will be up to her to share with you when she's ready." The group of bikers began to flood out of the house. "But not tonight."

A feeling of understanding settled in his chest. He may have been new to this whole fucked up situation, but Dom… Lena's brothers had been living it for years now. Jake rode back with the bikers to The Ring, trying to focus on that feeling of understanding, trust, and respect rather than the pit of despair the night's findings brought him.

Upstairs, the brothers waited. Patrick pacing like a caged animal, the hammer still tightly in his hand. Peter sat at the table, staring numbly into the surface of the wood. When they entered, closing the door behind them, Patrick was the one that spoke. In all the time Jake had known him, he'd never heard his voice sound so lifeless and menacing. "Well?"

"You were right," Dom said, sliding the tape across the table, eyes on Peter, who just looked at the tape with tears in his eyes. "I should've checked sooner."

Patrick was less calm, raising his hammer and using it to pulverize the tape. Jake thought watching it being destroyed would have made him feel better, but it didn't. "Stupid fucking mother fucker!" Patrick ground out, hitting the table a few times more before the head of the hammer snapped off. "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!"

Peter closed his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks before he wiped them and looked at Dom. "Were there any others?"

"No. I had my boys search. He only had the one."

"Good," he said.

"Not good enough," Patrick replied. "There shouldn't have even been a fucking tape to begin with."

Dom leaned against a chair, ignoring the brothers' accusatory tone. "I've got the boys digging through some black market dealers. If there's more, we'll know."

Patrick looked at Peter, his eyes finally filling with liquid. "What are we gonna tell her?"

For a minute, Jake saw Peter's face fall, the strong exterior of a protector faltering. Fear… Guilt filled his stone features before he steeled himself and said, "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Patrick repeated as he cleaned up the evidence of the tape.

"Pete," Dom began with a careful look.

Peter doubled down. "She just barely started feeling comfortable in that goddamn restaurant again. She just barely started living again. Do you wanna take that away from her?" He looked at Patrick. "Or you?"

"Alright then," the biker agreed, his eyes shifting to Jake. "You got that?"

"You want me to lie to Lena?" He asked, a slight tone of disbelief lacing his words.

Patrick shrugged. "If you think you can stomach tellin' her the truth, then by all means."

Shaking his head, Jake contemplated his options. If he did lie, then that meant betraying Lena's trust, betraying the faith she had in him, to be honest with her. But telling her the truth-telling her that he saw, even just one second of that tape… saw what she'd been through… could destroy her. It would rob her of all sense of autonomy in telling him this horrific truth of her life in her own time and her own way. It would bring that painful look back to her eyes, and he…

The door opened, and everyone stilled as Lena entered. She paused in the doorway, looki

ing around the room at the faces she clearly hadn't expected to be there. Once her eyes met his, Jake felt like he might just blurt everything out. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her, and swear that he'd never let anything bad happen to her ever again. But he just stood there.

She dropped her bag on the ground by the door. "I-"

Patrick moved, shoving past him to pull his sister into his arms. From where he stood, Jake could see the tears build in Lena's eyes as she wrapped her arms around him and sighed. "You know I didn't mean any of it, right?" He heard Patrick ask, "I didn't mean it."

"I know. I didn't mean it either."

"I know."

The two of them stood there for a long minute, the silence between everyone else filled with relief and pain. When the large man finally pulled away, he whispered something to her.

With a sniffling laugh, she finally smiled, whispering it back. Jake didn't need to know Irish to understand what was shared between them. I love you.

Dom passed him first, their eyes connecting over the table. Jake may not have been a people person, but he was good at reading looks. Dom offered him a choice through his eyes. Keep the secret or tell her. He could see that the biker was prepared to deal with it no matter what Jake chose. Dom exited the apartment with a simple pat on Lena's shoulder, leaving the siblings to their business. Peter hugged Lena, kissing her head with a desperate relief. "Don't disappear like that again. Please."

"I won't," she promised.

Jake stood by silently as they shared in their relief. The family didn't include him, but they didn't exclude him either, so he was content being a simple bystander. Then Patrick looked up and offered him a nod. This would look like any other nod to anyone else, but Jake saw the tears in his eyes and the gratitude that shined with them. Peter's own look followed shortly after, and Jake wanted nothing more than to tell them to stop admiring him. He hadn't done anything worth their admiration. 

They excused themselves quietly, leaving him standing face-to-face with the one person he'd been waiting to see all day. As she turned and looked at him with guilty, nervous eyes, he remembered how mad he'd been at her for leaving. And suddenly, that was a ridiculous thing, being angry at her. She sighed, whispering a quiet and simple greeting, "Hi."

Hi… Jake remembered how beautiful it had sounded this morning when they'd been curled up in his sheets. Even with the tone of guilt and the simmering pain the night had unwrapped him in, it was still just as beautiful a word now as it had been then. "Hi." 

"I'm sorry about earlier…" She shook her head, and Jake could see the tears still building in her eyes. "I shouldn't have run out on you. I-"

"Stop," he said without fully meaning to. "You…" His jaw clenched, a hundred different things running through his head. You're too good for me. You're perfect. "You have nothing to apologize for."

Her lower lip quivered slightly. "They told you then?"

For a moment, his heart stopped. Fear chilled his veins at the thought that she would already know about the lie he was holding inside him. "What?"

"My brothers. I'm guessing they told you about yesterday? About it being the anniversary of our dad's death."

Suddenly, it all made sense. Her tears, her shock, and her anger… The way all she could say to him was that simple, sad sentence. I forgot. Suddenly, Jake understood why she'd seemed distracted yesterday, why it felt like she'd been avoiding something. "That's why you were… I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's not your fault," she answered. "I could have canceled."

"Why didn't you?"

Lena shrugged, and even though he could still see how pained she was, she smiled at him. "I wanted to be with you."

After the night Jake had, hearing those words made him feel elated. Lena was here, smiling at him as though she'd never known an ounce of pain. She was here. She was with him. So, he stepped forward, happy that she didn't flinch when he approached and wrapped his arms around her.

The feel of her gentle embrace and the softness of her breath against his neck made it hard for him to keep all he now knew inside. He cradled her head, cradled every inch of her, as though he was afraid she'd bruise beneath him. No, that wasn't why, he realized. This hug was his silent and innocent way to prove to her that his hands would not be like the ones she'd known before. His hands would be safe and steady and gentle.

"I missed you today," she murmured against him. There was still a lingering sadness in her voice that made him want to hold her tighter.

"I missed you too, princess."

She pulled away then, looking up at him with a smile. "You can stay here tonight if you want to."

"It is getting late," he replied, reading the emotions on her face too easily.

Lena giggled, a sound that made him feel better. "I'd hate for you to get your ass kicked trying to get home."

He smirked. "We both know how easy it is for me to get my ass kicked."

"Come on."

Undressing in the small bedroom felt different that night. They'd undressed together a hundred times, but here, it felt comfortable and unhurried. If it'd been anyone else, he'd have expected her to be bashful beneath his steady gaze, but Lena wasn't anyone else. She met that gaze with one of her own, those green eyes he loved so much, pausing on his tattoos for just a hair longer than everywhere else. It was like a dance, the sincere examination of one another. A dance she excelled at.

Once he was in just his boxers, he situated himself on her bed, bringing the covers up just enough to leave room for her. Jake watched her throw their clothes to the side and brush through her hair before she joined him on the bed. Her skin was warm against his, soft as she moved to find a comfortable spot.

The mattress was lumpy and uneven, clearly older and more worn, but as she settled against him, her tired eyes drooping until they closed, he realized he didn't care about the lumps. As long as she was beside him, happy and safe and tired, Jake didn't care about anything else.

His hands gently massaged her shoulders as he pressed his nose into her hair before pulling it neatly to the side and looking down at her. The pit in his stomach burned then, remembering how broken she'd sounded on that tape… Remembering the scarred hand that clawed at her hair. She had every reason to push him away, to shrink from him every time he ran his fingers through that red mane, but she never did. 

"Our girl is so strong." Nana had told him. Strong, selfless, beautiful… Too good for him. Jake looked at her, mind running wild with what he knew and what he still didn't. How did you do it? He wanted to ask her. How did you survive? How did you keep all this good in you?

She tilted her head slightly, seeing the emotions in his eyes, "What’s on your mind?”

“I just…" admire you, adore you… The fear that he'd pushed too far last night ate away at him. "I didn’t make you feel… obligated to stay last night, did I?”

She sat up, touching his cheek with a gentle smile. “No! I stayed because I wanted to stay, Jake.”

“You just seemed unsure before all the fun.”

“I mean… I guess I was a bit… Nervous,” I admitted sheepishly.

The grin was instinctual, but his smirk was full of joy. "Nervous about seeing me? I'm flattered."

"Not about that, jackass. Just… I…" With a sigh, she shook her head, pulling her body closer to his. "I was just nervous that you were expecting it to be different."

Jake couldn't help but run his fingers through her hair, gentle and safe as he hummed. "I didn't really have any expectations."

He could feel her body tense slightly and hear the slight nervousness in her voice as she asked, "Why did you tell Simone we were going on a date then?"

What? He thought, mulling over all his and Simone's conversations before last night. Nothing he said had anything to do with his plans with Lena. "I didn't tell Simone we were doing anything yesterday. Why would you think that?"

"I swung by the restaurant before meeting you. She told me I looked cute and not to be nervous because you were good at this sort of thing. Then she assured me she could keep our date a secret."

It made no sense. Simone didn't know about his plans. She rarely even asked him about that sort of thing anymore unless she needed him for something. "I…" He paused, genuine confusion and frustration making his head hurt. God dammit. "I'll talk to her about it. Sorry if that made you feel-"

She covered his mouth before he could fully apologize. "I didn't feel obligated to do anything. I wanted to. I just… I'm not very good at this."

"It's hard to imagine anything you're not good at."

Her nose scrunched up with her laugh. "I assure you, I'm horrible at a lot of things."

"Name one," he challenged.

"This," she replied, quiet but smug.

Jake rolled his eyes, arms tightening around her, a silent reassurance that he didn't care about how supposedly bad she was at anything. "You seem pretty good at it to me."

He watched her pupils widen. "Well, you're biased, so what you think doesn't count."

A comfortable silence filled the Harrow's apartment. Jake listened to the light sound of Peter and Patrick lingering downstairs, his thoughts quickly filling with how good it felt to be here. Usually, he disliked sleeping in other people's apartments, but he felt at home here. His chest burned, lungs filling with cherry-scented air. Say it! He encouraged himself. Ask her! "So… What…" Don't fucking pussy out just ask! "What is this?"

The silence was now unbearable as Lena continued to breathe against him. "I thought you hated labels."

He smiled at that, recognizing her deflection as something he likely would've done had she been the one to ask. "Normally, I do. But, this isn't normal… Is it?"

"No, it's not." The look in her eyes was soft but held a fearful gleam that made him feel sick.

"We don't have to have this conversation right now," he assured her. "Raincheck?"

The relief was instant as she nodded her head, suddenly looking so tired. "Raincheck.”

Tomorrow, he told himself. They could talk tomorrow. Settling into her bed, Jake held her, his body slowly coming down from all the adrenaline it'd been pumping through him throughout the night.

"Jake?" She quietly asked, lips caressing his skin as she spoke.

"Yeah, princess?"

"If my brothers didn't tell you about Dad… Why were you already here when I got back?"

He tried not to freeze as the reality finally settled over him. A decision had to be made now. Jake's mind raced, his heartbeat slowly quickening. "I…" Her hands curled into his shirt as she snuggled her face deeper into his chest before she settled in the warm comfort of him. "I was worried about you, so I showed up to ask if they'd seen you. Then you walked in."

She giggled, the sound forcing his joy and adoration of her to mingle with the lie he'd just told. "I do have amazing timing, don't I?"

Jake pressed his lips to her head. He wasn't going to steal her choice. He wouldn't rob her of the safety she found in him. He wouldn't let Howard, Olive, or even Simone rob them of this. She was here, safe in his arms… And he would be damned if anyone tried to take that away. "Yeah," he said softly. "You really do."

That night, Jake lay awake in her old room, holding Lena tighter than usual. He focused on her steady heartbeat echoing in his chest and the deep, sleepy breaths she took. He focused on the fact that she was alive - that she was here and not…

His eyes closed, and his jaw tightened. "Never again," he whispered into her skin. "He won't touch you ever again."

Cars driving by filled the room, the sounds of bugs fluttering around and the chatter of the city. Among it all, Jake's solemn whisper was the loudest. "I promise."

#fic: nightshade #sweetbitter jake #jake sweetbitter #sweet bitter #sweetbitter #sweetbitter jake and oc #sweetbitter smut #sweetbitter ocs #sweetbitter simone #sweetbitter howard #sweetbitter fandom #sweetbitter fic #sweetbitter fanfiction #sweetbitter jake x oc #sweetbitter jake and lena #sweetbitter lena

[sexybabystevie]

Tonight’s Steve thought: I headcannon that he’s slightly dyslexic. Like, he had trouble reading and stuff when he was younger, and he kinda just accepted the fact that he was ‘dumb’ like everyone told him, so he just stopped trying so hard with grades and pushed himself in sports because that was something he was good at. But now reader can comfort himself and reassure him that he isn’t what people told him he was, and yeah anyway that’s my Steve though hehe

i'm sorry it took so long to get to this, but i absolutely adore this idea!!

i feel like a lot of people kind of either just assume steve didn't care about school at all, kind of lumping him in as someone lazy, or they just make him seem like he's completely incapable, and i much prefer your explanation! i'm a large believer in the fact that most people genuinely aren't "lazy," they just have various reasons (burnout, conditions, etc) that make it harder for them to do things that are "easy" for everyone else, so they just stop wanting to try and care.

i feel like that definitely could have happened to him. being dyslexic at such a young age and not really understanding why reading is so hard for himself, not to mention that i doubt his highly absent family ever bothered to get him a proper diagnosis, so his peers and probably some teachers too think that he doesn't try hard enough or is just dumb. and after a while of getting told that when he's only a child, he simply thinks it's true and has more fun at recess than he ever did in class because he actually likes and is good at it. and it all just develops as he ages; he stops caring about what people say about his intelligence because he gains popularity and no one seems to bring it up anymore, until everything goes down with billy and nancy and suddenly he's at the bottom of the hawkins high food chain and everyone is taking bites out of his ego.

years later, a few months after you somehow have a chance run in with steve at family video, the two of you hit it off and become friends pretty quickly, and while it's true that steve is a little slow when it comes to unfamiliar topics, but he isn't in any form dumb, so when he abruptly asks you, "do you think i'm stupid?" you feel confused until he reveals it all to you.

steve isn't the one to get vulnerable with just anyone, but he trusts you. that's why he asks you in te first place, he trusts that you'll be honest without being intentionally cruel.

and as steve sits there and voices his doubts, doubts about whether he's smart enough to properly babysit the kids or whether he's good enough to even consider himself friends with people like you and robin, the only thing you can think to do is softly take his face into your hands and keep him at eye level.

and you're talking before you can stop, letting it all out because he deserves to hear every single ounce of praise and adoration that you hold for him.

"you are not stupid, steve harrington. something that's completely out of your control like that doesn't deem you any less important or worthy or smart than anyone else. everyone has their areas of expertise, and you have many. you're good with physical things and you know how to manage seven kids at once, which is insane. more than most people could do, by far. you're emotionally intelligent and kind and you are so, so, so worth my time and robin's. we all love you and nothing would be the same without you, everything would fall apart. you hold us all together, steve, and i know some of the kids don't say it as often as they should, but they adore you and look up to you so much. you are not dumb at all, and you never have been. not ever."

if steve breaks down and sobs into your shirt as you hold him closely afterward, so overwhelmed with all the love that you and his found family had given him, never having heard those things from the people who should have been telling him that years ago, then you just hold him against you and soothingly rub his back. after everything he's been through, it's the very least you can do.

#aaaaaaaa i kinda went a little crazy with this one but i liked writing it #such a good concept truly!!! #em speaks #steve harrington #stranger things #asks #steve thoughts tm #steve harrington headcanons #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine

[hypaalicious]

My internet was out for a week & this is my survival story.

No deadass I was kinda struggling 😭

But at the same time, I learned a lot about how social media is absolutely affecting my brain chemistry and it’s enlightening.

I’ve often had to take breaks from certain platforms whenever I find myself overwhelmed. But I always had an escape to like, other media.

When I ghosted FB for years, I took solace in Tumblr.

When I got burned out on fandom stuff on Tumblr, I ditched it for Twitter.

Whenever Twitter gets to be too annoying, I just scroll on Reddit.

But this was the first time in many moons that I had absolutely NO access to any of my vices. 🥲 Worst part was not having access to my besties on Discord, I felt so isolated and restless and bored. I depend on Twitter as like, my news station as well so there was a lot of FOMO on my shoulders. I was just sitting in the house like

I’m an asocial introvert but being absolutely cut off from the world at the safe distance I already kept it was brutal.

But, I went back to reading. I absolutely tore through Jacqueline Carey’s newest release in a day. I picked up an Astrology book I’ve had forever and read through that. I spent my time doing more chores or just… not having constant stimulus. I was still anxious because I couldn’t talk to my besties and also work on my VN stopped cause the team was waiting on ME to catch up 😩 But…

I’m calmer, overall. I feel less polarized and combative mentally. I have a lot to catch up on but it’s not as overwhelming in my head as it usually is. I feel like despite all my attempts at trying to get to a deeper understanding of astrology by following knowledgeable astrologers, I got more of a breakthrough NOT being pelted by a thousand astro opinions a day. Reading Carey’s book absolutely reignited my love for Terre d’Ange and adult writing in general; she has such a mastery over words I’ve only been able to grasp like ONCE in my life. I was all up in Joscelin’s story like

You really don’t notice how much you’re not being challenged in your reading until someone with her skill runs you over and you thank her for the privilege, LMAO!

I’m scrolling on Twitter now and feel detached from it in a way that’s good, I think. Being constantly informed is a double edged sword and I’m TRULY understanding how just… very reactionary social media is even when you follow people/topics that mean well. It literally cannot be healthy to absorb the knee-jerk takes and think pieces people make all the time, even if it shows me a perspective on issues I hadn’t considered.

It’s sad that my eternal fight with Cox internet forced me to take a sabbatical but I’m thankful for it. I need to be more disciplined and make my own planned absences from social media because I feel better not being constantly plugged in and doom scrolling. Idk how I’m gonna wrestle my ADHD to comply but ima figure it out, lol.

I guess this ramble is a reminder to take breaks from this hellsite and any other form of social media. It seems like nbd when you’re jumping from a YouTube video to IG to Tiktok all in the span of maybe 20 minutes and have been doing that for years. You don’t notice when you’re being overly influenced. You think cause you’ve curated your feed very well that you’re not stressed, especially when there’s extreme examples of unwell people on display to reassure you that you’re doing just fine by comparison.

Bestie, no you’re not. 😭 You’re drowning in stimulus and giving yourself no time to sit in stillness and find YOURSELF outside of all of the noise. Detox from all that and see how far you’ve REALLY come.

#also if you have a choice? do NOT use Cox #the customer service is excellent the reps are kind but the actual service is ASS #I wasn’t able to use my internet for a week and they only credited my bill 7 dollars #not the reps fault mind you but I’ve had so many battles with just getting continuous service before this shit that I’m just done #if they didn’t have a monopoly out here then I would have already gone with someone else #they charge too much for what they give

[middleschoolfursona]

literal tears are running down my face as i scroll thru your blog. on it it it feels like im back home.

i just wanna go back man. i just wanna be a kid running around on feralheart and drawing my ocs again and watching silly movies with my friends. it feels like im living a lie every single day of my life since then.

it hurts and fills me with so much shame to say that i feel like a kid, like i stopped mentally aging in like 2012, 2014 at the latest. the dysphoria is strangling. i dont want to describe it but yeah it sucks so bad.

i cant tell anyone in my life this in detail. cus i can feel the callouts. the sneers. the performative disgust. the gleeful hatred. everyone turning on me and making me into a joke. but this experience is so viscerally terrible and real and i cant just get over it and i cant choose to get better. i hate it.

youre the first person ive ever seen who seemed like theyd actually understand and its just overwhelming bcus it felt like i was completely alone. so i just wanted to say thanks for the catharsis of showing me im not beyond understanding. but im sorry if this is all selfish or upsetting. the last thing i wanna do is hurt or upset anyone, so feel free to ignore and delete.

thank you for ur blog and i hope you have a great day/week/month/year/life/forever <3

anon, im so so sorry i didnt answer this one sooner. i kept thinking, "when i get on desktop" but i never ended up back on desktop until i got this new monitor (win!)

i totally feel you, im glad i can bring you (though maybe bittersweet) comfort.

dysphoria and even feelings of 'transness' in places of identity other than gender and sex absolutely exist and are valid, and its really too bad its so stigmatized. you have my <3 and you have my thoughts. its tough, and theres more of us than youd think, hopefully, its an amount that comforts you... and i hope, you can find people who relate to you and you can share trust with and happy memories.

"performative disgust' is a topic i bring up a lot in this kinda discoursing. if i may, its pretty western too.. the need to be combative causes a strange sort of lash-out-culture, where people arent even neccisarily uninformed, its a lack of desire to be informed at all, and instead perform hatred for the acknowledgement of their peers. id know. it was me once. terrible and toxic situation, but its eaten the internet in many spaces....

its tough feeling trapped, unable to move forwards and feeling like youre "wrong". being disabled and growing up disabled makes those kinds of remarks and implications said by some people extra painful to me. and i know lots of us who feel dysphoria surrounding our facets of the self, both gender or non-gender, are neurodivergant as well, and as someone who was in special education, and then my school dropped me by force because i just "wouldnt" do my math, i know how painful it can feel both inside, but then to come forward and have people act like "just move forward" "just understand" "well you can never go back so just be here instead"... its painful.

i hope that between the time you sent this and now, youvbe found someone to be open to... if not, you can send me your discord off anon (wont pub) and we can chat there if you need it... youre certainly not alone anon, just the haters want you to feel that way. dont give in. do your best!

[brandnewhuman]

Could you possibly do slashes (Brahms especially)with a S/O Who has ADHD and constantly miss places/loses things? (Or how they would interact with somebody who has ADHD)

SLASHER X S/O

WITH ADHD

CONTENT:

Brahms Heelshire - Michael Myers - Bo Sinclair

Tw: canon violence, mature language.

A/N: hiiiii! Thanks for the request. I hope I got everything right cause I kinda based it on what is my personal experience too, even tho I kinda dislike how this came out cause I feel the hc came out so boring and all the same. So once again I'm asking, If you don't like or you feel that I've done a shitty job in representing what you asked, or even if you just want to give me some advices, please let me know! I want everyone to feel included and comfortable in my blog and i would never forgive myself for writing something harmful about such personal topics. That being said I hope you like it!! ^^

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE:

He's going to be a bastard™

Will shamelessly steal things from you and make it look like you're the one losing everything 

He knows you tend to misplace or simply lose your stuff most of the time, so everytime you ask him if he has seen what you're looking for he's gonna girlboss the fuck out of it 

"You can't find your shirt?? You don't remember where you put it? How inconvenient… oh well at least it wasn't your favourite one right?" 

It was your favourite one. He's having the time of his life right now

If you catch up on what he's doing and accuse him of taking your things he will be fighting for his life to and getting offended like it's no one's business 

"Me???? How dARE you accuse me of such things!!"

Your favourite shirt will suspiciously be found the day after on your bed tho

And you will have a guilt ridden Brahms being uncharacteristically helpful and nice 

Even tho he's a pain in the ass he tries to help you as best as he can

Makes you checklists, leaves you little notes as reminders of what you have to do or to help you taking care of yourself since he has notice you tend to overlook your health most of the time

He just overall tries to do for you what he does to help himself get his routine done and not get stressed about things

He's surprisingly patient with you. Like he gives you time to do what you have to do, doesn't ask you you to more than one thing at the time, he listens to you without interrupting even if you trail off from what you were saying and if you need it he will remind you what you were talking about 

He will help you with whatever you may need while you do other chores but he will expect to be rewarded with kisses and extra attention later for being so helpful 

And if he sees you're getting overwhelmed by something he'll just make you take a break and relax a little bit 

It's okay y/n he gets overwhelmed too when he has too many things to do 

I know everyone thinks he would be a stinky trash man who uses your adhd to make fun of you or to make you feel stupid but he doesn't. Not now, not ever, not even when he's angry.

Like yes, he has his fun taking your stuff ecc but will never go to the extent of actively hurting your feelings using something so personal. He would never take things further than light and playful messing around with your stuff 

He cares about you that much y/n and he doesn't want you to hate him or to feel bad 

MICHAEL MYERS:

the thought of him having a s/o so energetic bouncing around him and just pushing all his limits it's just hilarious to me

The amount of times he has seen you power walk  into a room saying you needed to do something just to forget what it was?? smh..

HELL, THE ONLY REASON HE DIDN'T KILL YOU WAS BECAUSE WHEN HE BROKE INTO YOUR HOUSE YOU JUST WALK PAST HIM. HE WASN'T EVEN HIDING, HE WAS RIGHT THERE IN PLAIN SIGHT

It wasn't even funny like this so he decided instead to keep an eye on you, giving that you're living like you don't have a single worry in this world

The first few times he saw you looking for things you have misplaced he just minded his business, after a while he started to help you just by pointing to where you left what you were looking for and towards the end he just straight up took whatever it was and throw it at you

He's that fucking nice. I know, charming right? 

But I feel that on a more positive note, he would secretly love hear you talk on a on about anything. He finds it so entertaining the way you can talk about so many things, connecting things that don't even have anything in common between them

It kind of reflects the way his inner monologues work sometimes. He sometimes has so many racing thoughts that he can't do anything about. He wished sometimes he could just let them go as you do and talk them out

On more serious note, he secretly worries about you and will do about anything ensure you don't take poor choices and you take care of your mental and physical health 

He's might be a little bit rough in showing he cares. more often than not when he tries to help you he just plain manhandles you to make you do what he wants

Like if you're not getting enough sleep He just picks you up, lays with you in bed and basically traps you there with him until you don't fall asleep

Or if he sees that you overlook meals ecc he will make you cook something using him being hungry as an excuse 

If you get stressed or overwhelmed he's not going to be too much of help. Unless you tell him otherwise he is just going to assume you want to be alone 

Honestly he tries but he's kinda useless when it comes to help others 🤷🏻 it's not like he doesn't care he just can't figure out what to do about it

BO SINCLAIR:

I know you probably expected brahms to be your adhd buddy

WRONG. is Bo.  And you'll have to LISTEN AND LIKE IT CAUSE I KNOW HE IS. 

No Lester, no vincent. He's the one who's mind has decided that peace was not an option 

He's the type of yelling and getting worked up because he can't find his hat, looking everywhere for it without realising he's wearing it 

And everyone that has got insulted by him because they didn't help are now contemplating their life choices 

I'm sorry but he is the one who's gonna make fun of you mercilessly 

That's until he gets humbled real quick when he's the one fighting for his life when he has to focus on something  

I personally get so angry when I start to feel overwhelmed that anyone who gets near me and tries to make conversations gets the screeching demon treatment

That being said I just- you both screaming at each other because you can't figure something out and neither can him but he feels the need to put the blame on you

"What do you mean you can't do it? It's too fucking easy!! Even a baby could it!!" "THEN DO IT YOURSELF YOU WHORE" 

Oh to be able to call Bo a whore

In the end you're both an emotional support for each other

He helps you you help him

You try to ensure he doesn't end up doing a empty head no thoughts impulsive thing that could hurt him and he makes sure to help you feel less overwhelmed about things by sharing chores

He actually loves how you're able to understand him and his short temper so much. You always seem to sense when he's feeling stressed and just need someone to be patient with him

And he's overprotective nature makes sure you take care and don't exhaust yourself

#slashers #slasher community #slasher fandom #horror movies #slasher fanfiction #slasher x reader #michael myers #halloween #bo sinclair #brahms heelshire #the boy 2016 #brahms heelsire x reader #bo sinclair x reader #michael myers x reader #slasher headcanons

[vogelmeister]

anyways i’m thinking about my birthday and im wondering what i should do (its in june). i dont wanna just go out to dinner because i did that last year and it was basically just… ik i can do better. whatever i do i know ill probably do on the friday or saturday night before or after bc my birthday is a weekday. it will also probably be my high school group (5 ppl) my hometown friends (2 ppl) and my work bestie (1 ppl).

1. powerpoint night.

pros:

- its cheap. can be done at my house and is really casual

- this is something i’ve wanted to do for a while (i actually wanted one for my 19th but my ex friends talked me out of it because they wouldn’t like it)

- my friends who havent met my cat can meet my cat

cons:

- will be getting a few different groups of friends together so it may be awkward for these people to present/ find topic

- my sister turned the ‘hangout space” into her hsc study area and really is anti giving it up for one night (i tried once). also her stuff gives bad vodoo bc hsc

- will probably have to kick family out

- i feel some ppl find the notion of a powerpoint presentation stressful bc high school (probably why my ex friends weren’t too keen)

- my house isnt great for public transport and funnily enough the friends who live furthest away don’t have their license . its a locals only bus service. you can tell.

2. escape room

pros

- really easy team building plus it doesn’t matter if its all different groups /some people don’t know each other well.

cons.

- expensive as fuck

- done lots of escape rooms

- doing with lots of people can be overwhelming and smaller teams kinda work better here (i did an escape room once and the team was like ten people and it was Too Much. i stood there useless half the time.)

3. quiz room

pros.

- really cool and unique also im a sucker for trivia and irl game show sounds cool.

- probably good for my desired group size.

- public transport accessible

cons.

- its literally $45 pp and like ik my friends aren’t that stingy but even im going… yikes

- will probably have to be organised far in advance

4. karaoke

pros.

- really affordable if you do it right

- reliable. really easy to organise and i know how to.

- public transport accessible

cons.

- my friends and i do this all the time

- once again the three ppl there who don’t really know my high school friends might find it awkward

- if i do it i wanna go somewhere other than my place in chinatown

anyways idk. sound off in replies if you have advice or ideas bc i generally do not know anymore. might out up a poll.

#i love an around the world dress up theme but like i know two of my friends would do japan haha #i would go as netherlands ofc #but one if my friends in nl did like glow in the dark mini golf and then we all went out afterwards for dinner and it was fun #i wanna do something like that #like an activity then dinner #i haven’t done a games night in a while either so idk #i just don’t wanna do a birthday dinner and nothing else #also northern hemisphere badies keep in mind june IS winter before u suggest beach day #ill talk to my mum after my sister’s birthday is done #oh now im scared bc my childhood friends havent met my work friend and they're v protective of me and are my hs friend's biggest critics #like they were telling me to drop my ex friend's for years and had to sit while i defended them bc “they're great they just have flaws” #they also hated my ex for how he treated me #and my highschool friends that werent my ex friends almost had to earn their reputation back after the Break Up of 2022 #now they're all cool #i might give my work friend a whos who next time we are on shift together