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#ive made these slowly over like months theyre just so fun to make
bluebird-ascended · 2 months
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endwalkr · 2 years
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weee
#lotr good#lol i know i already made a post about it earlier this week but i finished watching the extended movies<\3#reading the appendices is slightly on halt since its no less work than studying but#i think readinf the books was soooo much fun like i already really miss being able to pick it up every day for month#the fact that you spend so much more time reading than watching a movie sort of makes the connection a bit stronger in a way#like im not sure how many hours i spent reading all 3 books over four weeks but it must be like 40 at least#being able to see it all in movie form is soo lovely cause 1) theyre just such fun movies and 2) you dont have to work your brain to#visualize things as much#although i did end up getting quite used to the writing style and endless describing of landscapes#so i didnt have to focus super hard anymore after a while#but yeah still its nice to just be able to sit back and let it sorta come at you rather than actively read it all#though a difference is that in the book if you find a scene or quote that hits hard you can just sort of read it over and over while still#staying in the zone or the vibe of the scene#whereas in a movie you can rewind of course but it breaks it up a bit xD#sometimes while reading i would loop a quote 4 or 5 times in my head before moving on#idk wtf i am talking about its almost 4am but i am so surprised i ended up liking lotr so much#like i wanted to watch it cause i was curious and general cultural education and stuff but especially after reading of course#ive not really had a new interest where i can like do endless research and learn soo many things about it for quite a while#the experience of finding something new and like slowly familiarizing yourself with it more and more is so much fun#also sjfjdj at me having to read and watch the grey havens scene twice within a week#first the book last monday and now the movie#me sobbing both times😭#its just really good#and i reiterate because it must be said#nobody ever did and nobody ever will do it like samwise gamgee#shoutout to taking the hobbits to ise gard#shoutout to the shire theme constantly transitioning into the gridania theme in my head#and good night (collapses)#long post#< in case of accidental tag opening sjfjdj
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jungwonenthusiast · 3 years
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hi! i read one of your heeseung smuts and i fell in love with your writing! so i was wondering if i could request a smut with sunghoon when he founds out that the reader is obsessed with his thighs, and that leads to thigh riding the reader leaving hickeys all over his thighs.
for some reason lately ive just been so obsessed with sunghoons thighs. i just have a feeling that theyre really pretty hehe, anyways, have a good day or night! keep weiting amazing things🥰✨😌
A/N: hi! Thank u so much for your kind words <3 sorry this is so late i just lost motivation for a bit lol
Warnings: fem! reader x soft dom! sunghoon, thigh riding, unprotected sex, fingering
Word count: 1.6k
You drop to your knees and kiss the insides of his thighs through his jeans as he sits at the edge of the couch, legs spread and ready for you to suck him off.
“What’s with you and this?” he asks and you look up.
“What do you mean?”
He leans down and picks your chin up. “I’ve never met a girl who paid so much attention to my thighs.”
You blush and shrug.
He smirks. “You know I notice the way you stare at them.” he caresses your face. “Whenever I’m dancing, or even when I’m just standing around.”
“Because they’re pretty.” you say sheepishly.
“Come here doll,” he leans down and pulls you into his lap. Like all the way from the floor. He always surprises you with how strong he is. “I wanna try something.”
He pets your hair and kisses your jaw. You loop your arms around his neck with a small smile. He grabs your hips and moves you so that you’re sitting right on his left thigh. Your heart begins to race. Is this really happening? You ask yourself. The thing you’ve been daydreaming about for forever.
His lips move up to meet yours. He knows you inside and out, every touch is with purpose.
“You’re so gorgeous,” he says before pushing his tongue against yours. He holds the small of your back and softly guides you against him.
You moan a bit into his mouth and he smiles.
He leans back onto the couch and pulls your chest against his.
You don't need his guidance anymore, your hips are rocking over him with ease and every time you grind, you just want more and more.
“Feel good?” he rubs your back and you nod into his neck.
“How long have you been wanting to do this?” he asks lowly.
“Months now,” you exhale.
He kisses the side of your head. “My dirty girl, fantasizing about me when she’s all alone in her room.” he squeezes your ass. “Playing with that pretty pussy under the covers.”
You whimper and nod.
“What does my sweet doll think about when she’s touching herself?” he teases and your breath hitches in hesitation. “Don’t be nervous,”
“I think about… you… your hands on me, your lips… your cock,” you say sheepishly. “And doing this.”
He chuckles softly and runs his hands over your sides.
You feel wetness pool in your underwear as you continue to grind over him.
He tugs your underwear to the side and watches your wet cunt move against his thigh. He glides his thumb over your slit then runs his thumb over his tongue.
“Fuck, you taste good,” he smirks and you whimper into his neck.
Your movements become slackened as you get closer to the edge and Sunghoon notices. He grips your hips to give you some assistance.
“Are you close doll?” he smiles and bites down on his lip.
You nod. “Yes, fuck please don’t stop.”
You bury your face into his neck but he holds your head to get you to face him.
“Look at me princess, I wanna see your pretty face when you cum on my thigh.” he smirks and caresses your cheek.
He watches as your eyes shut, brows furrow, and mouth parts open. He could cum just from watching you fall apart in front of him.
Sunghoon rubs your back as you slump against him, winded from your orgasm.
“Look at the mess you made,” he says and you look down at the wet patch on his jeans.
Your cheeks heat up and you cuddle into him, too embarrassed to say anything.
You pull away and drop to the floor again. “I wanna try something.”
You unbutton his jeans and tug them down exposing the pale skin on his thighs. You lean forward and plant a kiss on him. A corner of his lips perks up as your mouth opens to softly slide your tongue against his skin.
He reaches down to pet your hair. “My pretty doll,”
You nod and look at him innocently before gently sucking a small blush on his inner thigh. You can see his hard on straining against his boxers as you continue to leave hickies on his thighs. You also notice how his breathing is getting heavy and how his cheeks are getting pink.
He pulls you into his arms and picks you up. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”
He lays you gently on the mattress. You expect him to settle his hips between yours but instead he lays down on his stomach with his head between your legs.
“What are you doing?” you ask.
“I just wanted to taste you sweetheart,” he kisses your thigh. “Is that alright?”
You nod excitedly and he smiles.
He pulls your underwear to the side before giving you one gentle lick up your slit. Your thighs shut right away, still jittery from your last orgasm but he pushes them open and holds them down with his lean arms.
You squirm under him and he bites your thigh. “Relax sweetheart, let me make you feel good.”
You nod and take a deep breath before he delves into your wet cunt. You feel him moan against you as he french kisses your clit. And soon enough, your legs are shaking and your back is arching off the bed.
You tug at his hair and you feel him smile a bit.
“Please don’t stop,” you whimper. “Feels so fucking good.”
But then he pulls away and you’re so mad you could punch him.
“Sunghoon-ah!” you scold him and he chuckles, lips glossy with your juices.
“What? I can’t have a little fun with you?” he jokes and you roll your eyes.
“I will become cellibate for a whole month if you keep this shit up.” you huff and he comes up to kiss you.
“No no baby, I’m sorry,” he gives you puppy eyes, something only you ever get to see. “Forgive me.”
You can’t help but smile a bit. “Are you really sorry?”
“Mhm,” he nods, his dark hair brushing against his eyelids.
“Fuck me then,” you tease and he smirks.
He tugs his t-shirt over his head and the golden light of his desk lamp is shining against his back, making it look like he’s glowing right in front of you. Like real life Apollo, even though he’s more of the Athena type.
“Whatcha staring at?” he asks quietly. “Am I that hot?”
You scoff and pull him down for a kiss. He softly rubs your thigh before asking: “Ready?”
You nod and pull at his waist, wanting him closer to you. He caresses your cheek before slowly sliding into you.
You bury your head into the crook of his neck to hide your moans but he pulls your face towards his.
He leans down and softly bites the skin on your throat. You whimper and run your fingers through his hair.
“Harder please,” you beg and he smirks. He holds your thighs and pushes your knees towards your chest before pounding into you. You squeal and grip onto the duvet, overwhelmed by how deep he is inside of you.
“Oh my god,” you whisper as his tip brushes against your g spot. You trail your fingers down to rub your clit and he smiles.
“Dirty girl,” he says and you look up at him.
His dark hair is hanging over you and the silver chain around his neck swings with every thrust. His stark features are cut clean and he looks evil and sexy as ever with that determined look on his face.
“Feels so good,” you choke out and he leans down to kiss your forehead.
“So pretty,” he says. “My sweet girl.”
“I- I can’t,” you say, starting to tear up. “It feels too good.”
He pets your hair. “Take it sweetheart, I know you can.”
“I can’t I can’t,” you whimper and he leans down to kiss you, slowing his pace to a delicious grind.
“Yes you can princess,” he says.
“Sunghoon-” you whine. “I’m close.”
He smirks. “Do you want me to go harder?” he asks and you nod eagerly.
“Please,” you say and he holds onto the headboard before snapping his hips into yours.
He holds tight onto your waist with his free hand as your back arches. Your eyes roll back as warm waves of pleasure wash over you.
“Good girl,” Sunghoon coos, “that’s it cum all over this cock.”
His thrusts slow don’t as he releases into you with a low grunt.
You giggle as he slumps on top of you, tired and a bit sweaty. After a few kisses he pulls out and watches his seed drip out of you.
He gets off the bed and picks you up bridal style. “Let’s go take a shower, and maybe we can have some fun there too.”
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meltwonu · 3 years
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47. “Shut up.”
         “Why don’t you come over here and make me.”
39. “You taste like fucking candy.”
notes; AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES… lord i just love the idea of fucking an annoyed mingyu kdsjfhkds, cocky!mingyu, dirty talk, using panties as a gag, a little oral(fem receiving)/fingering, a little cum eating. Also forgive me bc im trying a different formatting of my drabbles and rly im just turning them into 1k-ish word fics?😭😭 I JUST CAN’T SHUT UP and these get so long so theyre not rly drabbles anymore sorry but also ive gotten so far without renaming the entire drabble game thing so… ye. Should i rename this drabble game? Or is it okay? Sorry that i cannot write short things…😭😩 should i include a word count?😅 I’m a mess and this is longer than 1k so the rest is under the cut!! Thank you for requesting!!! Enjoy!💕
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“Fuck, Mingyu, you left your shit in the washing machine again! Can you just get your shit together so I don’t have to wait on you all the time!?”
You prop a hand on your hip, watching as the male raises a brow from his place on the sofa when he turns his attention to you.
“Why don’t you go clean the bowl you left in the sink then, huh? I can say the same thing!”
Your lips press into a firm line; annoyance clear on your features. “My one fuckin’ bowl isn’t deterring you from using the sink but your shit in the washer is preventing me from washing my damn clothes!”
The tall male gets up from his spot on the sofa; annoyance obvious on his face as well. “You’re just so…”
“Just so what, Mingyu?”
He grits his teeth as he makes his way to leave and deal with the laundry. “Forget it.”
You watch as he moves his things to the dryer before shooting you a harsh stare and beelining straight for his room across the hallway.
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You finally manage to put your things in the washer once Mingyu retreats to his bedroom and it beeps once when it finally finishes, 45 minutes later.
Except now Mingyu’s clothes are just sitting in the dryer.
Letting out an exasperated sigh, you storm over to Mingyu’s bedroom, flinging the door open with the intent of giving him a piece of your mind again. 
“Mingyu, you fuckin’----”
“Fuck!”
Your eyes flit all across the tall male with his back against the headboard and  you can’t seem to tear your eyes away from his large hand wrapped around his thick cock; throat going dry at the view. “Uh---”
“Don’t you fucking knock!?”
The words die on your tongue the longer you stand his doorway, and he, too, makes no effort to move from his place on his bed. “M--maybe if you fucking moved your shit from the dryer on t-time!” You retort; already losing the fight in your voice the longer your eyes fixate on the leaking tip of his cock.
Mingyu’s at a loss for words himself and he’s unsure of what to even do to make the situation less awkward.
But he will admit; your flustered expression might’ve made his cock twitch.
He clears his throat, “I don’t see you leaving. Finally owning up to the fact you wanna fuck me?” Mingyu grins; cockiness replacing the awkwardness he was feeling moments prior.
“Shut up.”
His grin falters momentarily before it’s back; his eyes twinkling with mischief.
“Why don’t you come over here and make me.”
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Mingyu is meticulous. You have to admit.
He cleans while he cooks and makes sure his utensils and prepping station are absolutely spotless before the meal is even done cooking.
He’s apparently also just as meticulous with his tongue when he eats you out; fingers knuckle deep and curling into your g-spot just as he uses the tip of his tongue to tease your clit for the umpteeth time. “Ngh, fuck---fuck you, Mingyu!” You lock your hands into his permed hair, tugging on it slightly when he wraps his lips around your clit and sucks hard.
“God, fuck y-you!” You grind against his tongue and fingers as you get closer and closer to the verge of an orgasm.
Mingyu pulls away slightly, lips glistening and wet. “You taste like fucking candy. It’s a shock considering your sour nature.” He mutters quietly, only loud enough for you to catch it as the heat blooms on your cheeks. “Just shut up and eat me out.” You mumble back.
Scoffing, he thrusts his fingers into you harshly one more time. “I think you’ve had enough actually.” He wiggles his fingers inside of your wet cunt as you moan out. “It’s time for you to give me what I want too.”
He pulls his fingers out, popping them into his own mouth as he licks your wetness off of them. Your grip on his hair loosens as he starts to sit up between your legs; his long hair falling into his dark eyes when he looks down at you. “Get up, we’re switching places.”
“Fine.”
It takes you a second to maneuver around the tall male on his small bed; huffing when he lays down against the pillows. “I ate you out and fingered your ‘lil pussy so now you can ride my cock and pull some of the weight around here.” He snides.
A smirk paints its way onto his features as you clench your jaw and sit down onto his thighs. “You’re lucky I needed to get laid or I wouldn’t be this willing to ride your fuckin’ dick.”
“Oh please, you probably dream about my cock. I see you eyeing me when I’m just walkin’ around in my sweats. I bet I’m who you fantasize about when you’re getting off with that vibrator of yours. Which, by the way, is fuckin’ loud. I hope you realize I can hear it when I pass by your bedroom. You should really---mmph!”
You quickly stuff your soaked panties between his lips before he can say anything more; gritting your teeth. “You really need to shut up. You’re cuter with your mouth closed or eating me out.”
Mingyu wasn’t… technically wrong. You just didn’t want to hear it right now.
You quickly shimmy your body up until you can reach down and wrap a hand around his cock and Mingyu places his hands on your waist to steady you as you slowly start to sink down onto him. “O-oh, fuck…”
A garbled moan spills from your lips as you feel him filling you up inch by inch; already wanting to start a quick pace as you chase your own orgasm.
Mingyu groans from around the panties between his lips and he tosses his head back as your tight, warm walls clench around his cock.
He thought about you sometimes too. Not that he’d admit it either.
It takes a few tense seconds and a few stuttered breaths before you’re completely seated on his cock; the tip of it already curving into your g-spot as you give yourself a moment to adjust to his size. “Y’know, if you w-weren’t such a cocky son of a b-bitch, I wouldn’t be so, ah, opposed to fucking y-you… G-god, I’d probably even, ngh, d-date you..”
You slowly start to swivel your hips as you mewl; Mingyu’s cock fit inside your cunt so perfectly. “But all y-you do is, hah, c-complain about m-my messes when you’re m-messy too…”
Mingyu’s blunt nails dig into the skin of your naked waist as you alternate between bouncing in his lap and swiveling your hips. And in return, his harsh breaths are all you can hear as you fuck yourself on his cock. He knows he could easily flip you onto your back and fuck you into his bedsheets until all you knew was his name, but he plays nice for now and lets you have your fun while you could.
“What were you t-thinkin’ about, huh? Before I walked in h-here. Were you thinkin’ about, ah, me? Do I get you s-so heated that, mmh, you g-get hard? Are you t-that easy?” You shoot him a cocky grin of your own as you clench around his cock. He narrows his eyes at you before he plants his feet firmly onto the bed and bucks his hips up into you; effectively jostling you and making you bounce harder in his lap as he starts to fuck you.
A sharp whine escapes past your lips as he starts a quick pace and you're quick to meet his movements as you slam down onto his cock with each of his thrusts. The two of you fall into a comfortable rhythm as you both unload all of the sexual tension that’d been brewing for the few months that you’d been roommates.
Your saccharine moans and whines mix in with Mingyu’s harsh breaths and muffled groans as you both feel yourselves inching closer and closer to the edge. He can already feel his cock twitching and he can already feel the way your walls tighten even more around his cock with each passing second.
You reach a hand between your body and his; fingertips on your swollen clit as you race towards your orgasm. “Fuck, I, ah, w-wanna cum…” You mumble.
Mingyu bites down onto the fabric in his mouth as he tosses his head back again, his forehead covered in a sheen of sweat as he starts to feel his abdomen tightening with his impending orgasm.
And he doesn’t warn you when he cums, but you can feel his cock twitching and his cum filling you up as his thrusts lose their rhythm. You let out a choked moan at the feeling and you rub quicker circles on your clit as you throw yourself over the edge and into your orgasm as well.
Mingyu lets out a muffled groan as he feels your walls fluttering around him and for a moment, he tells himself he could get used to fucking you.
“Oh, g-god, you’re, ah, fu--fucking cumming so---so much inside of m-me…” Whimpering, you slam down onto his cock as you both ride out your high and Mingyu’s eyes fixate on the way his cock slides out of your wet pussy covered in his cum and your wetness.
Mingyu moves a hand from your waist to pluck the soaked material out of his mouth; tossing it to the side as he gently massages his jaw.
“Look at you, still fucking yourself on my cock. Want more already, huh?” He watches as you reach down and scoop up some of the cum that settled onto his skin, lips parted slightly as he lets out a soft moan. You continue to swivel your hips atop his lap, waiting until your orgasm completely ebbs off before you come to a full stop. 
You pop your wet digits into your mouth, keeping eye contact with him as he commits to memory the way you suck on your fingers and swallow down the cum. 
He grits his teeth as he watches you repeat the action. “Such a good girl cleaning up your mess, huh? That’d be a first for you, wouldn’t it?” His eyes twinkle with an almost evil glint when you finally pop the clean digits from between your lips and move to straddle his thighs again; this time, globs of cum dripping from your pussy as his cock slides from inside of you.
Images of you in different positions flit through Mingyu’s mind as he smiles.
“Say, do you really want to know what I was thinking about before you walked in?”
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blxetsi · 3 years
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Hi there! I love your work!! So I know this sounds a little niche but, could we get headcanons for a reader in a polyamorous relationship with Hange and Miche please? Hope you’re having a really good day!
NO BEXAUSE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEINE TO REQUEST POLYAMOROUS STUFF OMGGGGG 😭 ty for your service anon it means a lot 😔🙏
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hange and mike dating headcanons (canonverse)
zoë hange x gn!reader x mike zacharias
warnings: polyamorous relationship, and titans ??, reader is kinda innocent ?? like just easily wound up
also this is going to be SO fucking long and focused on hange for the first long bit sorry !
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btw this isnt rlly dating headcanons so much as backstory, how you met, and shit leading up to actually getting together i went so fucking overboard and went the complete opposite way of what you asked ill do a part two with ACTUAL dating headcanons if youd like anon just tell me and ill do it
- i think you wouldve worked for garrison originally
- in season one when hange started the experiments on sawney and bean thats when you would've met them
- you had been a big fan of their research studies for a while, so being in front of someone you thought was so cool was a little nerve wracking
- you had just became newly appointed as a captain for a garrison squad, being one of the youngest recruits to get the position, which also meant some people thought you couldnt handle the job
- you were good at telling others what to do, and guiding them when needed, you took over the leader role very quickly, you had to if you wanted to keep the position
- although you thought you were a good leader, others didnt
- specifically older members of garrison who thought because you were so young, youd be naive
- and since you were a garrison captain, you worked closely with hange and moblit during their experiments
- any request they made for supplies or anything, went through you and youd get it for them
- they needed more help ? youre requesting three soldiers to the experimentation zone immediately. anything they needed you helped with, because you liked helping
- hange had quickly grown fond of you, they were so thankful that you were so willingly to have your squad help them. you remember the brunette grabbing your hand and saying "thank you for your dedication to this project and to science !" while bowing multiple times
- as unsanitary and childish as it was,,, you didnt wash that hand for a day
- hange saw how some members of your squad treated you, and it may have irked them a bit
- causing them to rant to moblit while writing down research data
- "hange." "i just dont get it, why dont they say anything ? theyre so nice so why dont people respect them like they should-" "hange !" "what ?!" "youre writing down captain l/n's name on your page !" "so what ?!- wait what" this causes a night of bickering between the two of them 😐🤚
- when sawney and bean died hange was devastated. you had grown to like the section commander as a friend and respected them greatly, so to see their hardwork and research all go down the drain was hard
- you immediately went into leader mode and started ordering your squad around "listen up ! i want this whole perimeter checked and searched for any evidence to help us find out who did this." a couple members groaned, and one man, who was in his early thirties made a comment about it. "theyre just stupid fucking titans. we're supposed to kill them, not keep them alive for some freak to experiment on them."
- yknow,, looking back on it maybe you shouldnt have went off on them the way you did, but you did because not only was the man questioning your authority and orders, he was blatantly disrespecting a section commander. "i am your captain. i am your leader. you will respect me, and you will listen to me. you either do i say or youll be suspended and taken off my squad immediately. and that goes for everyone ! do i make myself clear ?" you shouted. the man who had talked back raised his eyebrows, youd never once yelled or demanded things be done in a manner like this, and it clearly shocked him when you stood up for yourself.
- a bunch of murmurs came from your squad and you dismissed them, but not before stepping in front of your soldier in front of everyone. "between you and me ? you should be discharged for not only your blatant disrespect and defiance to me for months now, but also for your innapropriate and degrading comments about section commander hange. you wanna pull some shit like this in the future, not just to me but to anybody ? you should kiss your position in garrison squad goodbye, since youre too childish to keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself. now grow the fuck up and go do what ive asked please." the man looked scared as he stared at you, no one had seen you act like this before, his jaw clenched as he nodded and walked off, the rest of your squad dispersing with him
- you didnt notice hange calling your name until you felt their hand on your shoulder. you turned around and saw their sympathetic gaze on you. "thank you for defending me. are you okay ?"
- you rubbed the back of your neck and answered. "honestly ? i feel kind of bad, like i embarassed him or something." the survey corps leader tilted their head back as they laughed. "youre so kind y/n, but im proud of you." the comment, although lighthearted, struck a cord with you
- a couple days later you were requested to meet with not only the section commander but commander smith, as well as your superior, dot pixis
- the meeting only lasted about thirty minutes, but hange had boasted about not only your leadership skills but also your knowledge and ideas on various sciences. erwin decided to offer you a position to work under hange, and dot pixis agreed to have you transferred to the survey corps if you agreed.
- did your decision have to do with your crush on hange ? maybe. would you ever admit it ? no.
- pixis explained to you that youd be honorably disharged from the garrison regiment before being moved to the scouts' headquarters in trost
- you surprisingly got along well with others there. working in hanges squad was fun, and even though you were demoted from a captain back to a cadet you didnt mind
- hange had offered to share as much knowledge as they could with you, which led you to be in their office (as messy as it was) after work hours
- and thats where you met mike
- well, got to know him
- hange introduced you two when you first joined and the first thing the section commander did was NOT shake the hand you held out for him but to lean down and sniff around your hair and neck
- your face felt hot as you stuttered over your words, thrown off by his,,, unique, greeting
- hange and laughed and lightly pushed him away, before explaining to you that thats just what mike did
- back to being in hanges office
- for nights on end youd stay up together in their office, two chairs huddled beside one another while you read through books of research, not just from hange but from published scientists and anthropologists too
- mike had started joining you two only three days after you and hange started
- he would stay quiet, but would sit next to hange making them be sandwiched by the two of you
- after that you started to notice him more often
- down the halls he'd send you a small smile, which you brightly returned
- sometimes he'd be in charge of training that day, and he would wordlessly help you position your arms to properly block or punch when sparring with other members
- then he started bringing tea when he would come and listen to you and hange discuss different theories, articles and information together
- you didnt even know the two were dating until you accidentally walked in on them in hange's office
- they werent doing anything dirty, just giving each other a kiss, but you had walked in on them with a stack of papers captain levi told you to give to hange.
- you kinda,, stood there, slackjawed, while the two pulled apart slowly to look at you. hange had a mischievous grin on their face while mike just gave you a blank stare
- you dropped the papers. the stack of documents levi tasked you to give to hange. you dropped them. How Embarassing.
- your face began to feel hot not just from seeing them but also because youre embarassing yourself by dropping the papers and just standing there like an IDIOT
- "uh,,, i- captain levi said to give you those documents you requested." your voice cracked at the end making you wince
- "you mean the documents that are spread out on my floor now ?" hange asked. you looked between them and the floor, then at mike, then back to the floor than back at hange. "yes." you said, and you could feel that warmth in your face spreading to your ears now too. "im sorry." you exclaimed, your voice sounding strained as you quickly walked backwords and closed the door in front of you
- you started avoiding hange and mike after that, and became hyper aware of everything that they did. they were TAUNTING YOU 🙄 you could feel it
- instead of small smiles in the halls, after you started ducking your head down when you saw mike, he would now give you head pats when you crossed him
- hange would let their hand linger on your shoulder or side as they shuffled past you during meetings or experiments, and would come closer than usual when handing you documents
- mike would give you teasing smiles when you got your ass handed to you during sparring
- and finally you were fed up ! did this count as workplace harassment ? you didnt know but you wanted answers ! so you went to the source, hange's room after dinner
- you didnt bother knocking, you just walked in with your eyes closed
- hange giggled, "what are you doing y/n ?" "making sure im not walking into something i shouldnt be seeing, section commander." "by that do you mean the kiss mike and i shared ?" "yes." "well we're not kissing right now." they said, and you peaked one eye open to be sure they werent lying, and they werent !
mike stood up from his chair and slowly made his way past you, closing the door. you took a deep breath before throwing all of your word vomit on blond and brunette duo. "so i dont know why you guys think teasing me like this is fun, but it isnt. it makes me flustered and nervous and feel weird and im not sure if it counts as abuse of power but i dont like it so it needs to stop." you huffed in a big breath of air after saying all of that, and hange rested their head in their hands.
"y/n do you have a crush on me ?" they asked. their voice was soft but they still had that stupid smile on their face. you could feel your face getting warmer by the second. your mouth opened and closed but no words came out.
" i uh, im gonna leave now." you turned around but hit something hard, and looked up at mike looking down on you, a smirk on his face. he put his hands on your shoulders and turned you back around to hange, walking the two of you over to their desk. he gave you a slight push, causing you to put your hands on the desk and lean on it, while mike kept his hands on you to keep you from running.
hange leaned into you, your noses barely touching. "i only ask because, mike and i have grown very fond of you." they said. you nodded a little bit, the tips of your noses brushing against each other.
"yeah well, id be a little sad if my superiors didnt like me, that would be kind of bad." you replied.
"can i kiss you ?" they asked.
and now is when your brain really stops functioning. thoughts fill your mind of mike and his relationship to hange. are they actually together or is it a friends with benefits kind of thing ?
"i uh, i cant kiss you." you replied, a bit breathlessly caused by both section commanders.
"why not y/n ?"
"well i'm not a cheater, or a homewrecker. i mean i assume that you and mike are together so, im not going to kiss someone in a relationship." you stammered out. this was making you very nervous, butterflies errupting in your stomach. you knew they were just teasing you, goofing around to make you flustered, but a part of you hoped youd be able to kiss hange, and maybe mike for that matter.
they chuckled a bit, before their brown eyes looking behind you to mike's towering form. "honey, can you tell y/n its okay if they kiss me ?" they asked. mike let out a small laugh through his nose before leaning down.
"only if y/n promises to give me a kiss afterwards." he whispered. he pressed a faint kiss to your temple, and you shivered from the contact. he was warm, very warm, and even though it was such a small amount of contact it did so many things to you.
you gulped before bringing your eyes back to hange. you looked to their eyes, and then to their lips, and continued that pattern silently in hopes theyd understand. you didnt want to be teased anymore ! you wanted something to happen.
hange got the hint and smirked, before leaning in again and lightly brushing her lips against yours. theirs were soft compared to mikes chapped ones, and the kiss was so slow, so innocent, it had you leaning in for more. it was a slow, lazy kiss, a kiss to test the waters, it helped calm your nerves, but also made your nerved explode with heat.
finally the researched pulled away, and put their hands on your cheeks, squishing them to pucker your lips, before giving a kiss to your forehead, nose and lips one last time. they let go with a soft smile on their face, and a blush of their own.
you could feel mike press his body down against yours, making your knees buckle slightly. he took his right hand off your shoulder to place it on hange's cheek, thumbing over the red pigmentation. he then turned your head up and to the side, before giving you a kiss of his own. this one was a bit more dominating, hard. his chapped lips scratched against your own but you didnt mind. in a weird way it made you feel at ease, having him take control of it, the same way hange did but his was just more, needy.
he pulled back with a shaky breath and looked at you before looking at hange. "so y/n," hange began. they stood up and made their way around the table, mike pulling himself and you up straight so hange could sit on the edge, pulling you in to stand between their legs. being sandwiched in between mike and hange made you so aware of them, and even though you were very new to something like this you felt weirdly safe and secure. "mike and i genuinely care about you, and we want to be with you the way that we're with each other. would you like that ?"
honestly, how could you say no ?
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thats it again im sorry the anon who requested this you did not get what you asked for 😭😭😭😭 hope u all enjoyed requests r open stay safe
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pogaytosalad · 3 years
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Heres a wip of a sequel.
Dmviolence, by jade
Hello, if youre hearing this, it probably means im dead. Either that, or im alive and just got tired of keeping this hidden. You might remember my voice from a previous recording about a takeover in sector ⬽:➻, in which id helped prevent total annihilation of the sector. At the time i was unnamed, however now you may call me Kalton. After the takeover i resigned and moved to a job at a dmv. This planet was, for some reason, in one of the most tactically advantageous locations in the galaxy. And for some reason the higher ups dedicated the whole damn planet to dmvs. Dont ask why. Now, onto the story.
I woke up, and i put on my emerald green contact lenses. Just like any other day. I put on a basic white t-shirt and a leather bomber jacket along with a pair of jean shorts. If you cant tell by now, im gay.
I live in a small apartment. By small apartment i mean a bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen all crammed into 2 rooms. I hopped out the bedroom window onto my motorcycle. It was a diamond white motorcycle with deep red stripes along the sides and the handlebars. My pride and joy. I put on my jet black helmet and took off towards my job at the, you guessed it, dmv.
Chapter 2
I pulled up in the parking lot and took off my helmet, my blue hair a total rats nest. The doors were push doors, yet i somehow ALWAYS pulled first. I entered the dmv and went to my station. A few hours passed by and no one had come in yet, which was unusual. So naturally i decided to sit down on the floor, put in my earbuds, and enjoyed some heavy metal. A few more hours passed by, and usually by now i wouldve been yelled at by my boss. This struck me as odd so i stood up. I really wish i hadnt stood up. The place had been completely destroyed. There were drop pods crashed in through the roof and they all had the ERGON logo on them. Ergon was a multi trillion dollar pencil manufacturing company with its own military. They had previously tried to take over sector ⬽:➻ when i had been working there. I was not looking forwards to what was about to happen.
Quickly, i ducked back onto the floor before anyone saw me. There were 4 riot soldiers holding this building. This was gonna be fun. The riot soldiers are your stereotypical riot gear and police baton soldiers. But these guys had laser batons and the riot gear gave them heightened strength and speed. They also had some, dare I say, shitty energy pistols. I crawled over to one of the soldiers who wasnt being watched and broke their neck. Carefully I took the baton and the pistol. Slowly crawled my way back to my station and checked the shot count in the pistol. I had 6 shots, just enough to take care of the remaining three soldiers. I stood up quickly and shot each soldier twice in the head. First shot to open the riot helmet, second shot to kill. I vaulted over the counter and grabbed the three pistols. These things were so stupid. You couldnt even remove the clips. Once you ran out of shots, the pistol was useless. Nonetheless, i didnt have any choice. I had a laser baton and 18 total shots in 3 pistols.
Upon leaving the building, my motorcycle was one of the few things to survive. It had alot of scratches and damage, but it still worked. The helmet was shattered however. I mounted the motorcycle and took off towards the next closest dmv. Maybe id find some better gear there.
Chapter 3
Pulling up next to the second dmv i immediately noticed 3 things. 1: there was blood everywhere. 2: there were 25 soldiers here. And 3: they all had energy weapons. The reason these things are relevant is because energy weapons dont cause bloodshed. This was the result of something else. Something new i hadnt dealt with yet.
I drove up and ran over 5 of the soldiers. This was probably an incredibly bad idea, seeing as i had 18 shots, enough for 9 kills, and there were 20 soldiers left. Every single soldier turned to me and i, being the absolute genius that i am, welded the front of one of the pistols shut with the laser baton, shot it off, and threw it into thei crowd of soldiers. It exploded, releasing a shockwave of energy and disabling the soldiers. I then used the baton to cut through the riot gear and kill the soldiers. I felt like a badass. That is until a mechanical looking wolf jumped at me and started trying to rip my face off.
The wolf was a frostwolf, except it had been placed into a mechanical frame and its teeth and claws had been replaced with lasers. I tried to bash it off of me with the baton but it just bit it in two. This gave me just enough time to grab an energy pistol and shoot the wolf. It kept trying to kill me amd i wasted a whole clip on it until suddenly, the dog started to levitate in the air and got thrown aside into a wall. I got up and was instantly frozen in place. Thats when.. she walked up.
Chapter 4
The she i am reffering to is ebony. A goth/punk wannabe with light blue tear shaped eyes and black hair with purple streaks. Shes a bitch whos mind got too powerful and now she can move things without touching them. Shes been chasing me for months. Not in a murderous way. Shes just obsessed with me. Ive tried to tell her im gay but she wont listen. And now im at her mercy.
She walked up to me and kissed me on the cheek. I hated it. She looked as if she was contemplating whether or not to free me when a pod came down from the sky and crushed her. Thank god. But i honestly wouldve rathered suffered at her hand than deal with what i had to deal with next...
Out of the pod came the warden. The goddamn warden from sector ⬽:➻. Last id seen him hed been in the same situation as ebony. Crushed to death under a pod. But this time, instead of being on my side, he was here to kill me. He was huge. Like seriously huge. He was at least 8 feet tall and shaped like gaston. Whos gaston? Nobody knows these days. But its basically a way to say "extremely buff and wide". Back to the story. The warden wasnt looking very good, considering the rotten skin, obviously quickly patched together face, and muscles hanging loose out of his skin. His rotting ruined body was held together by an exoskeleton of chromium-tungsten alloy. Nothing i had was gonna cut through that. I was gonna have to get creative here..
The warden had 2 weapons, both of them were his fists. Huge gauntlets that were each about the size of a cow. Definitely bigger than his previous set. They were a golden green metal i couldnt identify. But i didnt want to get hit with one to try and find out. I ran. I ran as fast i could run into the dmv and hid. I could hear the wardens footsteps. It was as if a small earthquake happened each time he took a step.
I peeked over the desk i was hiding behind and saw him punch through the 2 desks opposite to me. It took no effort and i couldve sworn i saw him smile. Obviously i didnt. Cause he didnt have a mouth anymore. But if he did, he definitely wouldve smiled. I took a shot to get his attention and ran off towards the wall. The warden was definitely faster than i expected.
Luckily i managed to dodge the blow by a centimeter. The metal smelled of decaying flesh and popcorn. The wardens blow punched a huge hole in the wall. I hope you see where im going with this.
I ran off to another wall and we repeated this same process a number of times until the building was barely still up. I ran out the doors and threw the baton at the last of the supports, cutting through it and causing the building to collapse in on the warden. He wasnt getting out of that. I decided to search the rubble to see if i could find anything worth taking. I found a new baton, a flame rifle and a few more energy pistols.
The flame rifle was a very interesting design. The sides were painted jet black with flame decals scattered about. You could feel the heat on the inside and it made the gun warm to the touch. Comfortable to hold. Other than that though, it looked like an old fashioned 8.59mm sniper rifle. It had 4 shots remaining, so id have to use it sparingly.
I grabbed some scrap materials out of the rubble to make a holster for it and put it on my back.
The energy pistols just dangled from a keychain. The baton was simply turned off and placed through a hole in the back pockets of my shorts. I ran to my motorcycle and drove off, i needed to find out more. I had questions, and i had a sneaking suspicion that i knew where to find the answers.
I drove off again, i was dirty and there was blood on me and my bike. I probably looked like a serial killer. But i knew that if anyone was still alive, itd be jayden. They were.. well. They were a vampire. They lived in a swampland area and wore sparkly rainbow shirts and a huge sunhat. The sunhat allowed them to go outside in the sun, and they only drank coconut water. They also had a crazy amount of weaponry and used to work at ergon, before being fired for stealing weaponry. By the way, if you havent noticed by now, im using they/them to refer to jayden. Jayden doesnt have a gender. Jayden.. is kind of my crush. It probably has something to do with the fact that theyre the only person on this planet who talks to me. Other than ebony.. but ebony is... not my type i guess. Anyways, back to jayden. Jayden was on the roof of their swamp shack drinking coconut water out of a wine glass. I yelled up at them and they fell off the roof onto my back. I guess i cushioned their fall. Jayden immediately said "What do you need dear" without waiting for me to stand up, and shattered the wine glass. I informed them of the situation and asked the questions i had. Things like "what are the ergon soldiers defences like on their ships" and "how did they reanimate the warden" they had answers.
Jayden told me about the new security measures that had been put in place since id last been on an ergon ship. There was now a code for each teleportation pod and the gaurds had doubled. As for the warden, it turns out jayden was actually the first test run in reanimation sciences, and couldnt answer me because they had been unconcious in a lab when the warden was reanimated. That explained the vampire undead thing. Jayden invited me into the shack where they pulled a nail out of the floorboards and it turned into a ramp to the basement. Down in the basement? Thats where jayden kept their weapons they stole. And boy oh boy were there some interesting ones.
One that immediately caught my attention was the big rocket launcher. It had 3 barrels and each was a different colour, indicating a different effect. One was red, one was yellow, and one was green. The red barrel fired a normal explosive rocket, the yellow barrel fired an electromagnetic pulse rocket, and the green barrel fired an acidic explosive. And the launcher shrunk down to the size of an energy pistol when a button was pressed. It gathered up dirt and dust and garbage around it from the back to quickly convert into ammo but the only downside is that it would be difficult to use more than once in an area.
Jayden picked out an old shotgun. At first i didnt understand why, but then they loaded the clip. The clip was a huge drum that loaded in the bottom of the barrel. The drum was see through and inside you could see sawblades lined up side by side. When they pumped the shotgun a blade got lifted into a slot between the 2 shotgun barrels and started glowing red. When the trigger was pulled, the blade spun at high speeds and fired out of the slot, spinning along the ground like a wheel. It could cut through anything a baton could cut through and seemed to almost follow its target. The gun itself looked like an DP-12, except behind the pump, a large clear drum full of sawblades was in place. The blade sat between the barrels in place of the iron sights and got heated up by an electrical circut.
I also took a laser sword instead of my baton, it was just like the one that [3825968] had, except this one was about an inch longer. The final weapon i took was an acid thrower. It was basically just a watergun with acid in it. Ive always been partial to acidic weapons. If youve heard my other story, youd know why..
Jayden also took a submachine gun that fired freezing rounds. The rounds were essentially glorified waterballoons with liquid nitrogen in them. Though the rounds were bullet sized, enough shots from it would certainly freeze you in place. The freeze gun was about the size of the average human head, and was painted navy blue with blue saphire stripes placed along it. We both left the shack, me with my sword and jayden with a wine glass. We were ready to kick ass and put a stop to this.
We left and immediately both got flung into some trees. Guess who it was. It was ebony. Her body had been found and reanimated. I was starting to see a pattern. And now we had to fight the telekinetic who could kill us with a wave of her hand.
She was levitating. Her eyes were glowing red and her hair was floating in the air. She had a smile of someone about to rip your arms off and beat you with them. I tried to take a shot at her but my hand got knocked aside by an invisible force. So i tried the next best thing. Seduction. Fake seduction. Hopefully the whole dying and coming back from the dead thing didnt make her stop being weirdly obsessed with me.
While i faked surrender and complimented ebony and attempted to seduce her, jayden took aim of their ice gun and shot a burst at ebonys right arm. The arm froze in place and shattered. Hopefully that would lower the strength of her telekinetic abilities. It did. But only by about half. Which meant jayden got thrown into the air as i tried to discreetly unholster my acid gun. It wasnt discreet enough and the gun was knocked from my hand.
The gun flew forwards and the impact of hitting the ground set it off for a second, just enough to spray an acidic burn through her arm. Incapacitating her. Jayden ended up sneaking up behind her and impaling her through the skull with the shattered end of their wine glass. Finally ebony was dead for good.
The acid gun was busted, so we had to leave it behind. We got onto my motorcycle and took off towards my apartment building. We would need food if we were going to be traveling. An apartment complex would probably be full of foods, and alot of dead people who wouldnt care if we took some stuff.
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windupnamazu · 4 years
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happy heavensturn, everyone!  give yourself a pat on the back! we’ve made it! 🎊
this was a loooooong year, and of course it had its ups and downs. my mental healths been splotchy at times, i had to cut ties with someone who i used to think of as a really good friend, i realized a lot of the opinions i was parroting were at best thoughtless and at worst flat-out hurtful, and i was surrounding myself with people who were contributing more to overall misery than happiness - but ive also come out of my shell far more rapidly in the last four months of this year than i have in many of the years before. im ending it on a good note!
this blog wasnt very active until september when ffxivwrite started and i learned how to make gifs, and since then i made some stuff i hated but i also made a lot of stuff i really liked, and i know ive grown from it, and i know im going to continue growing!! ive never made this much for one fandom in such a short period before - im usually a person who makes one thing and then goes quiet - but every moment of running this blog and interacting with new people these past few months has been incredibly fun and ive been learning so much!! sometimes i do think “i need to make more!” and then ill remember that one week i made a gifset everyday for six straight days, and i think “wow! why did i do that. geez.” im happy with what ive managed to do in spite of everything else on my plate, and i hope my friends will be happy with what theyve managed to do too!!
and speaking of friends!! ive made so many new friends this year and theyre all absolutely incredible and so talented!! im a very anxious and shy person and talking to new people directly is terrifying for me, but im slowly becoming more confident and comfortable!! slowly!!! (i went through one week where i talked to a new person Every Single Day and i was so overwhelmed by the time it was over ahndsdfgnn)
ive also been making an effort to be more vocal so i hope no ones been bothered by how often i reblog and tag things here?? snfndfnhgnh its not something i do a lot on my personal because i have. um. four times the follower count and im super selfconscious about saying something stupid but my friends have made SO many good things i just gotta yell about all of it!! please let content creators know how much you love their stuff, because they really deserve it!  
to mutuals and followers both - know that i love you! and im so, so, so proud of you for making it through this year and for making great things! thank you so much for all your support!!
happy holidays and happy new year, and goodbye to this decade! heres to an even greater one! 🎉🎉🎉
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notedchampagne · 5 years
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Any tips for highschool freshman?
> if youre confused about anything or youd like some help dont be afraid to talk to your teachers. theyre there to teach you and in my experience as long as you dont interrupt them mid speech (best to talk to them in a moment of silence) theyd be happy to fill you in on whats wrong. its also good to phrase questions about something specific rather than general like “i dont understand how to derivate e^x” or “can you go over how rna is made again please”. also just,,, dont care if youre worried your question is dumb i promise you 20% of the students there have that same problem and just dont want to ask it. you can worry about how dumb you might seem later when its finals week and you get a good score
> speaking of finals: review WAY before a month before finals come idk if its me or the stress lmao but like even going through your notes on a weekend is good. personally im new to studying and i dont go through with what i promise myself half the time but making flashcards are great
> if you have a birth/deadname you dont want your teachers to use without outing yourself to them just say that [name] is your nickname that you like better bc its easier to say/pronounce. might not work in all situations but i just did this last week and my teacher was like alright easier for me too so yeah
> uhh start on clubs early? on university applications theyre looking for clubs or activities you participated in outside of school and the whole “oh yeah i learned so much from this clubs like uhh communication blah djsafldl” is easy enough to form ig but getting a good fill in on things that youve done is great
> getting a journal for planning helps me a lot. it doesnt even matter if you dont get all your hw done in one day as long as you can write down due dates and long term projects its a lot easier to keep things in track and slowly make your way down the list
>i dont take this advice myself but please dont make good grades your everything
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negasonicimagines · 5 years
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Gladdest (Soulmate AU)
For this, I’ll be using the soulmate AU where what happens to your soulmate’s body happens to you. I’m not sure who originally came up with this. Basically, how it works, is like, if your soulmate gets punched in the face, you feel like you’ve been punched in the face. If your soulmate dies, you don’t die, but you feel it. Same with broken bones, you’ll feel it, but your arm won’t actually be broken. But not just pain, other stuff. Like if your soulmate cries, you’ll feel it, but you don’t cry unless they’re super heartbroken, or if they get a really good hug you feel it, too. In my version of this AU, the pain and other feeling doesn’t start until you turn sixteen. Imagine how fucked up it would be if that wasn’t the case and you had a partner older than you? Like, while 13-year old Bill gets in a fight, his soulmate, who is only 3, feels the same punches and kicks. It’d be so fucked up.
warnings: nsfw (but no actual sex, just a lot of talking about it [and masturbation] and some sexually tense scenes), the reader nearly has a panic attack (again, i know, sorry. what can I say? I project), & reader has a thing for.... erotic asphyxiation. let me know if i missed anything.
I am very open to writing a part two with smut... I just chickened out with this because I felt it wouldn’t be good writing.
You’d been sixteen for a little while now, and there hadn’t been much contact from your soulmate aside from the occasional feel of a phone falling on your face and smacking it.
It’s the beginning of a new school year at Xavier’s, and you’re pretty thrilled. Your roommate this year is your best friend, Ellie. Okay, not just your best friend, she’s your crush, too. Do I really have to say, at this point?
“Hey,” she greets you, sounding rather sullen as she enters your dorm, where you sit on the edge of your bed.
“What’s up?” you ask.
“I turned sixteen over the summer and I haven’t felt anything to give me a hint. All my soulmate does is cry.”
“All my soulmate does is drop their phone on their face,” you offer a complaint in return, and the two of you lock eyes for a moment, one of realization.
“No,” Ellie says. “No.” She’s bright red, immediately thinking of just how many hot summer nights she was kept up, orgasm after orgasm after orgasm, gasping for breath at the way her soulmate’s fingers curled just right, just fucking right. There’s no way you, her crush and her best friend, were that good.
“No, can’t be,” you agree.
“Could be,” she reminds you.
“It’d make sense,” you admit.
“I hate everyone else but you.”
“We could try to find out,” you suggest.
She pinches herself.
“Ow! Not like that!” You whine, clutching at your arm. “Oh, well, I guess it’s too late th-” Ellie cuts you off with her eyes alone.
“Where does all that energy come from, Y/N?! What are you, the Energizer bunny?! At least three times a night, every night! What the hell?!”
You blush deeply, scratching the back of your neck. You hadn’t exactly expected you’d meet your soulmate anytime soon, or that they’d be bold enough to comment on your habits.
“I dunno, I thought it was normal for kids our age…” you mumble.
“Oh, yeah, well some people like sleeping and not screaming into the pillow because their soulmate has a little too much fun doing the five finger shuffle!”
“Please, louder. I think a few people in Antarctica didn’t hear you,” you retort, looking up at her from where you were sitting with a challenging expression.
“We’ve been friends for all this time and I never knew what a horny bastard you are,” she remarks.
“Well, I’m not the one who was ‘screaming’ in pleasure,” you mutter.
“I heard that!” she says, her expression still adorably indignant.
“If you hated it so much, you should’ve just got those over the counter meds, Antifel or whatever.”
“I- I…” She sighs. “Yeah, I didn’t hate it that much,” she admits, and you smile a bit. “But I wasn’t a fan of the choking,” she adds, gesturing at your scarf, your favorite one that she never would’ve guessed hides the bruises from where you’ve choked yourself with a belt, at least not before. “I’m more of a choker than a ‘chokee’, but, I guess that’d be obvious, wouldn’t it? Considering we’re soulmates and all.”
You nod, your eyes now on your lap, the floor, her tee shirt, the lamp in the corner, anything that isn’t her eyes, and she smirks.
“Oh, so now you’re shy?”
“A little,” you quietly reply, and she sits next to you on your bed.
“Let’s cool down,” she offers. “We’ve just seen each other after months of purely texting and the occasional phone call.”
“Thanks,” you respond, finding it easier to breathe.
“Why were you crying so much?” Ellie asks, addressing her original observation.
“Just depressed and lonely and stuff. I don’t have friends in my hometown, not like you.”
“You’ll always have me,” she says. “I mean it.”
“I’d hope so, soulmate,” you laugh off the seriousness of the conversation, and she sighs, looking to your eyes with her own soulful ones.
“I’m glad it’s you,” she tells you.  “I don’t think I’d be able to stand anyone else.”
“Yeah, right!” you huff out a laugh, confused at her sudden emotional openness. Sure, she was more honest about her feelings with you than anyone else, but that didn’t mean that she was a completely open book. Who was?
“You’re not disappointed, are you?” Ellie wonders because of your remark.
“God, no! I- I actually have a really big crush on you,” you admit.
“Yeah?” she asks, the cutest little grin on her face, you know the one. “I have a crush on you, too.”
You blush again.
“Sorry… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m not very good at flirting or anything like that. I don’t really care about much of anyone at all, and you’re definitely the only person I���ve really cared about in a romantic way, so…”
“No, it’s not that! I- You- You being really good at flirting is what’s got me like this. And the fact that I’m a dork who’s really bad at flirting contributes,” you explain.
“I am? Good at flirting, I mean.”
“Well, with me, at least,” you tell her.
“Um… Sorry if it’s lame to ask, but… Can I kiss you?”
“Of course! And it’s not lame to ask at all, El, I appreciate it actua- Mmf!”
You could live forever in the feeling of her lips on yours, her hands oh-so carefully holding your cheeks.
“Sorry,” she shyly says, as she slowly pulls away from you, looking in your eyes. “I’ve just been wanting to do that for a really, really long time. Pretty much since we met, actually.”
“R-really?” you ask, a bit breathless and definitely still flustered.
“Yeah, you’re perfect. In, like, every way. It’s the worst and the best.”
“I’m perfect?! But you’re- You’re you!” you argue, and she shakes her head, rolling her eyes. “I’m so lucky.”
“No, I’m the lucky one,” she disagrees.
“We can both be lucky,” you tell her, and she sighs.
“I suppose that’s a good compromise,” she decides. “So, what should we do before dinner? We’ve got a couple hours to kill, but I don’t think either of us has much more to say that wouldn’t be repetitive or… Something.” She blushes again, cheeks bright pink.
You blush back, reminded that she knew all about you and the things you did to yourself behind doors. “R-right,” you reply. Hey, you may be a horny motherfucker, but that doesn’t make you any less of a bottom.
“Can I see?” she asks, touching at your scarf. You nod, and she unwraps the scarf. She carefully touches the spotted bruises with her fingers. “With the belt you’re wearing?”
You can’t even speak. You nod, and the ghost of a smile graces her face before she just barely presses her lips to the bruises closest to her, on the side of your neck. Your hand quickly grabs her bicep tightly, and she stops, looking to you with concern.
“I’m so sorry, I got a bit carried aw-”
“No, no, it’s good, I’m just… Sensitive there,” you admit, and one of the biggest smiles you’ve seen her wear is on her lips.
“Yeah?” she asks, taking her crossbody bag off of her shoulder and opening it. She takes out a bottle of Antifel pills. “How sensitive?”
“Oh God, um… I- Um…” Your nerves are really getting to you, and your breathing gets heavier as you stare at the bottle. This is really happening. It’s really happening. You’d always wanted to, especially with her, but now that it’s a reality, you feel on the brink.
Ellie can recognize that look in your eyes, and it’s a look she’d hoped she’d never be the cause of.
“Shit, Y/N. What’s going on? Talk to me.”
“I- Um, I just- I want to? But I- I just- I don’t know, it’s just getting really hard to breathe, and uh, not in a hot way,” you joke nervously.
“Hey, you can want to and not be ready to right this minute. We haven’t even been on a date yet, okay? I’m really sorry if I made you feel like you had to do anything you didn’t want to,” Ellie tells you, and she feels immensely guilty either way.
“No! I liked you kissing me, especially where you did, but, you’re right. We should probably adjust to the news and put a label on whatever this is before we do anything too serious.”
Ellie nods. “You always were the more logical one. I’ll put these in the medicine cabinet and we can just… Talk about stuff, like we always do.”
“But with more kissing and cuddling, I hope?” you request, and she nods, going to put the bottle away before returning to find you bundled up in her comforter. “It’s so cozy…” you practically sing, at least to her.
“This is a dream,” she sighs happily, slipping off her shoes and joining you in her bed. You spoon her side, and she hums in content, stroking your hair.
“You’re in a good mood,” you comment. Ellie is not a very cheerful person, at least not openly. So, to see her like this was surprising.
“Yeah, of course I am. It’s you. It’s really you. I’ve never been happier in my life,” she says, having really been hit with the fact that you’re her soulmate. All hers. “All mine…” she hums.
“You really know how to make a girl feel special… I mean it. I’m really not all that.”
“Please be my girlfriend,” she requests.
“Only if you’ll be mine,” you reply, and she scoffs.
“I think that’s how that works, babe.”
Your heart skips a beat and you stare at her in wonder.
“Sorry for not asking if pet names were okay…It’s just something I like, it’s really stupid.”
“No, I really like it, hence the dumb stare and the lack of breathing.”
She chuckles, holding you tighter. You smile with her, glad that she’s happy.
“I hope you don’t feel like you have to over-exaggerate how happy you are. It’s okay if you’re not ridiculously happy about finding your soulmate.”
“Oh, no, I’m as happy as I sound. I’m, uh, definitely a textbook case of Lesbian That’s A Grumpy Bitch Til She Gets A Girlfriend. But then again, I’ll probably just be a significantly less grumpy bitch to everyone but you, sorry.”
“I don’t mind, I like you being your bitchy self,” you reply, being rewarded with a kiss placed atop your head that sends tingles dancing down your body. “Mm… I like that.”
“Good,” Ellie responds. “I’m glad.”
“I’m gladder,” you tease.
“I’m gladdest...”
58 notes · View notes
wongpuppy · 5 years
Text
FATED, huang xuxi
↳ Rating lots of fluff + slight crack
↳ Pairing player!Xuxi x Y/N
↳ Word count��5k [ one-shot / soulmate!au ]
↳ Summary the red thread of fate was real after all, managing to make something out of nothing
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Red Thread of Fate: ancient Chinese mythology about the lunar matchmaking god Yuè Lâo tying a red thread around the ankles of destined lovers at the age of 21; regardless of place, time, or circumstances.
The DJ played hectic, bass heavy EDM tracks that contrasted drastically to the semi formal themed party. You down the red of the alcoholic contents in the red solo cup with a wide smile, turning to your best friend Ella.
“Thank you for forcing me to come! I’m having the time of my life!”
Stress has been your closest best friend lately, with all the exams and projects being thrown at you. So when Ella asked you to go out with her, you were definitely more than hesitant at first.
You throw your hands in the air and Ella smirks at you. “I told you you’d have a blast.”
The sea breeze flows through your hair when you close your eyes and throw your head back, appreciating the open decked yacht and everything this extravagant party had to offer. You were on some random yacht off the coast, still close enough to be able to see the city. The moon was completely full tonight, high and dominating the entire sky.
Your tipsy mind free from troubles and bad thoughts. You felt reborn the moment the time went past midnight.
The DJ announces that it was midnight and the crowd cheers heavily and you join, not really knowing why exactly the mass of people were going crazy.
“You never did tell me what club this is or event this was, you know.” You take another cup of beer from the bar and chug the whole thing down in one go.
Ella’s eyes widen at your question and she laughs nervously, sipping on the cup in her hands. “Funny story, Y/N.”
You motion for her to go along whilst nodding and dancing to the song the DJ played, not really focused on what she was saying.
“This isn’t a club or event.” She sighs and avoids your gaze. Eun says the next sentence quick and all in one breath, knowing exactly how you’re gonna take it. “Its Xuxi’s yacht, and he’s now officially 21!”
Your best friends throws her hands in the air as if to cheers, but you felt every ounce of alcohol fade once she mentions the younger boys name. Whether it was the tequila shots or just how much you hated him, your hearts been racing ever since Xuxi was brought into the conversation.
You knew you could never date a guy younger than you, even if it was just a few months younger like him.
“Are you fucking with me?” Your arms are immediately crossed against your chest as you stare at Ella with a narrow gaze.
Needless to say, Xuxi and your relationship was pretty worse for wear. You loathed him, his intensely cocky personality and ‘i’m richer and better than you’ attitude was a complete turn off. Everything about Huang Xuxi was a complete turn off.
“He invited us.” She shrugged. “You were having so much fun before I mentioned it was his party.”
Invited us? Give me a break. As far as you could tell, Xuxi hated you almost just as much as you hated him. He sneered at you whenever he saw you and even gave you the nickname Top Bitch. Which, to be honest, didn’t really sound all that bad to you.
“Exactly.” You sigh and feel a headache come out of nowhere, leaving you clutching your right temple. “I’m allergic to even the slightest mention of him, I just got a headache. I’ll be back, don’t think you’re in the green.”
You move past the crowd to get towards the bathroom, or anywhere that was at least somewhat quiet. Going inside the large living room, you walk towards a bathroom but when you knock and only hear explicit noises on the other side; you cringe and leave. So you go towards the main bedroom instead, walking in when no one answers your knock.
The empty and quiet room let you release a sigh in happiness, massaging your temples. Contemplating laying down on the large and inviting white bed, you go to the bathroom instead; only feeling your temples throb even more.
You wince as you walk towards and pull open the door to the bathroom only to jump back and shriek at the sight.
None other than Huang Xuxi was leaning against the sleek marble sink, clutching his forehead until he jumped at the sound of the door opening and a girly squeal. You watch him groan and wince before turning to you.
But, amazingly once you connect eyes, the throbbing pain is gone and all you feel is relief. Your shoulders relax, your head feels light, its like a wave of serenity flows all through your body. You couldn’t help but feel so at ease, its like you forgot who you were currently gawking at.
“Y/N?” Xuxi looks at you with dazed, confused eyes before looking you up and down, iris’ doubling size at the sight of your feet. “Oh my god.”
You quickly look down and you instantly get why, mouth falling open.
Your black minidress and strappy black heels allowed for a thin, glowing red thread to wrap and tie itself around your ankle. But it didn’t stop there, you watched in horror as it continued onto the bathrooms tilled floors and under Xuxi’s pants, presumably to tie around his ankle.
You swallow thickly. The string felt like nothing but Xuxi and you could definitely see it, the vibrant red surrounded by a bright white light.
“What the hell is going on? Did you do this? Is this some sort of joke?” You stare at the last visible end of the thread before it disappears under the tall, irritating boys pants. He sighs, still staring at your ankle and the ribbon with a disbelieving look.
“No, princess, its a stupid fairytale my dad used to tell me. Guess its fucking real, huh.” Xuxi squeezes his eyes shut and you’re stood there in the doorway between the bedroom and bathroom still in shook. “Red thread of fate, a Chinese myth about a string that ties around two fated lovers ankles. We’re... We’re soulmates.”
The two of you stare at each other with disbelief written all over your faces, before you burst into laughter. “Thats a joke right? You’re definitely messing with me.”
When Xuxi continues to stare at you with his wide brown eyes, your laughter soon fades when you realize his facial expression wasn’t changing at all. Your face falls and you quickly reach down to your ankle, trying to pull at the string. Your hand just goes through it, as if it was just a hologram.
Your jaw drops. “H-How?”
“I don’t know.” Xuxi replies, eyes watching your hand go through the thread, yet the thread followed your foot wherever it went. “This... This is so fucked up.”
You grumble and give up, sitting on the floor and careful not to flash that guy-your soulmate your undies. Crossing your arms across your chest, the both of your eyes set on the thread connecting the two of you. You swallow thickly when a thought comes to your mind.
“Why aren’t you calling me Top Bitch?”
Thats when you fully take notice that this whole hour consisted of a very different Xuxi, one that hasn’t called you any names or threw a comment at you. He hasn’t cursed at you, hasn’t given you any looks, this was definitely unusual for Xuxi. This Xuxi was full of big, brown eyes that seemed to be permanently dazed. His words were softer, almost as if Xuxi’s voice got gentler the second he turned 21.
Xuxi’s eyes whip to yours and they’re obviously wide. “Holy shit. I haven’t called you that.” He swallows thickly and quickly looks away from your gaze with pink on his cheeks. “I don’t feel like I want to anymore.”
For the first time in the whole three years you’ve known Xuxi, your heart flutters for a second. But that one second is so profound it leaves you clutching your chest and shaking your head slowly.
“What is going on with me?”
“You’re falling for me, Y/N.” Xuxi lightly smirks for the first time since the two of you locked eyes, which is very surprising. He sighs a second later and taps the sink. 
“Shut the fuck up.” You sneer at him and scrunch your face. “This is all my drunk mind and everything will wear off in an hour or two.”
Xuxi sits on the floor leaning against the sinks drawers. “Enjoying my party?” He’s sitting across from you and the end of his feet reach your knees where the ends of yours reach the middle of his calf. You take a quick inhale and look away.
“I guess. Then this crazy migraine came out of nowhere and now I’m here.”
“Same here. But its completely gone now.”
That definitely meant your headaches were connected. There was no way the both of you could get a headache at the same time then have it leave at the same time. 
The red thread. 
Your eyes narrow and you go to nudge his calf, but once your foot touches his leg, it was like adrenaline flew through your bodies, goosebumps instantly rising. And when you looked at the thread, it started to slowly loose its vibrancy. Your eyes widened.
“Xuxi, look, if we’re touching the string gets dimmer and fades really slowly. If I pull away it stops.” You show him and nod to yourself with a small grin. “So it should fade away the more we’re touching.”
When you look up at Xuxi, he looks as if he was daydreaming but looking directly at you. His lips were in a small side smile and eyes low. The way he managed to look at you pretty intimately made your cheeks pink. “I think that’s the first time you’ve said my name.”
“Thats definitely not true.” You scoff and can’t help but laugh under your breath. Xuxi’s grin widens just a little at the sight.
“Lets just say it was then.”
Your grin is unbearably wide and you couldn’t believe it, never once thinking Xuxi of all people would be making you blush. But then you remember that it was Xuxi and you clear your throat and rolled your eyes. “Please, Xuxi, how many other girls have you used that on?”
“If I’m being completely honest, a lot.” Xuxi twists the rings on his fingers and you scoff loudly. When you sit up to leave, he leans forward and lightly grasps the back of your calf and you let out an audible gasp.
It was crazy, it felt like butterflies that took a lot of steroids.
“But up until an hour ago, I’ve only been thinking about one girl and its only been you.” You’re standing up and you swallow thickly at the honesty in his voice and big, brown eyes. “Which is fucking insane because we’re supposed to hate each other... right?”
You run your hands through your hair and sigh. “Its this red string thing. But the feelings aren’t real, it’ll all fade, look.”
You point to your ankles and the slightly faded string but Xuxi keeps his eyes on you, swallowing thickly at your sentence.
“Don’t you... don’t you feel like this is something more?”
Your eyes snap back up to Xuxi’s and your throat goes dry. He immediately gets up and motions between the two of you. “I don’t know about you but I’ve never felt anything like this before and I’ve been in love, so, this is different.”
You narrow your eyes at him. Xuxi? In love? That was an idea you never would’ve connected. Yet, you couldn’t help but agree. Even if you’ve never really been in love, you’ve felt it and knowing exactly how much you hated Xuxi, whatever was still keeping you in the bathroom with him was powerful.
“Why us?” You sigh and squeeze your eyes shut. “I’m soulmates with a guy who sleeps with a different girl every night!”
“Hey.” Xuxi frowns and takes a few steps towards you. “Thats not true. You know I won’t do that to you, I’m not that type of guy in relationsh-“
This Xuxi was definitely one that you aren’t used to, seeing him in a completely different light. It was as if he really did care.
“I don’t know that you wouldn’t do that to me!” You point a finger to his chest and ignore the sparks that go off from the smallest contact. “And don’t talk about us in a relationship, take a few steps back.”
He rolls his eyes and holds his hands up, moving back and away from you. And even though you know you asked him to move back, you couldn’t help but feel a loss of comfort the more steps Xuxi took. You groan at the feeling.
“I need air.” You mutter, taking one last fleeting look across Xuxi and his big, wide eyes before walking out of the bathroom and bedroom, and out towards the empty front deck. The entire walk your eyes were focused on the red string around your ankle.
No one else seemed to notice the string, as it followed your ankle through the mass of people. When you got to the deck, you take a deep breath and sigh. The three years of unfortunate encounters with Xuxi and you could be compared to a cat and dog type of relationship. The two of you went at it back and forth, ever since you first met.
Three years ago
You and your friends were at some random dorm hall on campus, playing pool and chilling in the community game room. It was around 9:36pm on a Sunday so campus was almost empty, save for the guys playing pool casually next to you.
Not gonna lie, you noticed them the minute you walked in the room, talking to your roommate Ella. Especially the taller, blonde one. He was probably the most beautiful guy you’ve ever seen, with full lips and broad shoulders, he was definitely gonna be stuck in your head for a few days.
But when he caught you staring, he gave you a cocky smirk that had you rolling your eyes. If theres one thing you hated, it was a conceited guy who played girls with that exact smirk.
You’ve had too much experience and you were sure this wouldn’t add to it. In the corner of your eye you watch him and a couple of his friends walk over and you groan, nudging Ella. “They’re coming over.”
“Sheesh, blondies a looker. I caught you rolling your eyes when you saw him.” She sneaks a look at him and turns back to you with a satisfied grin.
“Not my type.” You cross your arms across your chest and boldly turn to watch him and his friends get closer. “He’s way to cocky for me, I feel it.”
“I like them confident.” Ella eyes you. “Can I go for him?”
“Go for it.” You shrug at her and turn back when the guy in question and his friends are in front of you and your friends.
“I don’t think we’ve seen any of you before.” The blonde guy keeps his gaze and smirk locked securely on you. “Do you live in the hall?”
“We live in Beacon across campus.” Even if Ella’s the one that spoke up and answered, Xuxi takes his time looking away from you to her. You scoff.
“Interesting.” He turns back to you with a cheeky grin. “I’m Xuxi.”
“My names Ella.” She holds out her hand towards him and he looks away from you with a little wink. You shake your head and turn to his friends instead. They seemed a lot calmer than Xuxi, the two boys now turned to you with warm grins.
“Hey, I’m Y/N.” You nod your head at them and they nod back. The one with light brown hair and a pretty smile answers first.
“My names Kun, I’m Xuxi’s roommate.”
“Sicheng, nice to meet you.” The boy with flawless features and light blonde hair replies.
“Nice to meet you guys too, both of you freshman?”
“No, Sicheng and I are sophomores. This is your first semester here?” Kun replies and you nod grinning at him.
“And you aren’t caught up by the force that is Huang Xuxi, impressive.” Sicheng smirks and you laugh a little, shrugging.
“Theres a lot more to a pretty face.” You look back over to Xuxi and where he stood with your friends a couple feet away. You turn back to them with a grin. “So what’re you guys’ majors?”
“Xuxi and I are both business majors.” Kun replies with a shrug. “I’m not really into it, more into editing and videography, which I do on the side.” 
“I’m a theatre major.” Theres a faint pink hue that spreads across Sicheng’s face until he shrugs it off. “My parents wouldn’t let me go to acting school so this is the closest thing to that.” 
You laugh loudly and shake your head at the two of them, already knowing you’re going to like them. “That’s really cool. I’m a bio major, but I might switch because it’s already getting hard and I don’t like that.” 
Kun visibly cringes while Sicheng shrugs. The lighter blonde boy smirks at you, nudging Kun. “He failed intro to bio twice in his freshman year, it was pretty sad.” 
You laugh again and when your eyes fleet across the room for a second, you catch Xuxi’s eyes. He turns back to you with another smirk.
“I don’t think I got your name.” Xuxi excuses himself from the girls before walking over to you without another word.
“It’s Y/N.” You give him an unimpressed look when he looks you up and down. He grins wolfishly.
“Thats a lovely name and, do I hear an accent?”
“Get her whole life story then her snapchat, bro, always works.” Kun scoffs and you grin at him. You pull out your phone towards Kun and Sicheng, away from Xuxi.
“Speaking of, can I get the both of yours?”
Both their eyes widen slightly before nodding and pulling out their phones and exchanging codes. Behind you, you can hear Ella and the girls hounding Xuxi for his snapchat and you release a sigh of relief.
Until Kun turns to the girls and asks for their usernames. Whilst Kun and Sicheng were getting the girls’ codes, it left you and yours truly free.
“So, Y/N,” Xuxi takes a few steps towards you, “my snapchats h-u-a-x-u-x-i.”
You raise a brow. “I don’t remember asking for it, do you?”
He looks confused for a second before his smirk grows. “You’re feisty, huh. Don’t worry, babe, I love a challenge.”
You scrunch your face in disgust, wondering how such pretty looks can be obscured by such a narrow personality. But before you could say anything, Ella’s voice calls Xuxi’s name and you sigh in relief.
“I’ll catch you in a bit, Y/N.” He winks at you while walking backwards and towards Ella. You wave with a fake smile before turning away with a roll of your eyes. You turn to Kun and Sicheng instead, enjoying their company much more than Xuxi’s.
Later that night you get a notification on your phone and its a request from none other than ‘huaxuxi’ himself. You nibble on your bottom lip for a few minutes before accepting it. And you already felt like you would regret this.
Xuxi: Kun spilled and told me your username :)
Y/N: tell kun i dont like him anymore
Xuxi: Does that mean you like me more?
Y/N: that would require me to like you in the first place :)
It only takes Xuxi a week before he realizes that you actually didn’t like him and decided that you thought of yourself too highly. From then came Top Bitch and the countless sneers and scoffs. 
And thats just how it was for the both of you, never any different.
You’re sitting in the cafeteria with the girls when some of the NCT boys walk by, making you roll your eyes and sink in your seat lower catching a glimpse of who was there. But instead of walking up to your table, Xuxi just walks by and doesn’t even say hi making you furrow your brows. 
“Did Xuxi just ignore me?” You mutter to Ella once he’s a good distance away. You keep looking at him sneakily behind her shoulder and when he catches your gaze, instead of smirk or wink, Xuxi glares at you. “Holy shit he just glared at me.” 
“Maybe he gave up, isn’t that what you wanted?” Ella replies, shrugging at you. 
“Yeah.” You say quietly, swallowing thickly when your throat goes a little dry. “Yeah, it is.”
⇝⇝⇝
It isn’t until that moment that you realized you completely ditched Ella. You groan and quickly pull out your phone from the back of your tight, strapless dress. Texting her where you were, you at least knew she would still be on the boat.
You put away your phone and sigh, leaning against the yacht railing and watching the moonlight play against the water, the full moon still bright and powerful. The cities colorful and lit skyline looks almost animated and magical.
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
You turn your head to the sound of your best friends voice, Ella walking towards you with narrowed eyes. You sigh and shake your head.
“You wouldn’t believe what I went through.”
Ella raises a brow at you once she’s beside you. “Oh? Do tell.”
You nibble on your bottom lip and realize you didn’t even know where to begin. How do you tell someone that a magical, mythical Chinese fable about soulmates happened to you?
“Remember three years ago when we met Xuxi?”
Ella’s eyes get a bit widened, noticing the way you say his name without cringing. She nods and motions for you to go on.
“Why didn’t you ever go for him?”
“Oh, honey,” she sighs and rolls her eyes, “I tried. He was just too... preoccupied, I guess.”
“Preoccupied?” You furrow your brows and turn back to the view.
“Y/N, he was like hooked on you the minute he saw you. Theres no way you didn’t notice.”
You sigh loudly and face her with a stressed look.
“Do you see anything tied around my ankle?”
Ella gives you a funny look before looking down and confusedly on your ankle. “No? It’s too dark, here let me put flash on.”
You look down at the still half vibrant red thread that stood out in the darkness with a sigh. “Never mind, it’s okay.”
“Are you okay, Y/N?” Your best friend gives you a worried look, never seeing you like this before.
Your chin wobbles and you close your eyes. “Xuxi and I, we’re soulmates.”
Ella stares at you, waiting for you to shout ‘JK’ or to laugh it off. But your straight face doesn’t falter, making your best friends eyes widen.
“How do you know? Xuxi? Soulmates?”
Your eyes pull open and you sigh at her. “Its hard to explain but yeah it’s true.”
“Is it true to you though?”
You look at Ella’s face and hesitates before nodding a little. Now that you were apart from Xuxi, your mind was clear but there was an obvious divide. When you were with him there was electricity in the air, sparks flying from the slightest look. It felt like something else completely being around him, it felt nice. Inviting.
“Yeah, Ella, I do.”
⇝⇝⇝
Xuxi collapses on his bed with a loud sigh, already feeling his headache coming back. He knew you were walking further and further, spending three minutes earlier just watching the red thread twist and turn.
Theres no time for him to be alone with his thoughts as his best friend Sicheng walks in a few seconds later. “Xuxi, bro, why are you still in here? The parties outside!”
Xuxi sits up on his bed and rubs his hands over his face. “Have your parents told you about that myth about the red thread of fate? About the soulmates?”
Sicheng furrows his brows and gets up from his place where he was leaning against a desk table. His confused face was obvious, Xuxi never being the one to talk anything about love, feelings, or soulmates. “Yeah, why?”
“Its true, bro.” Xuxi sighs and avoids Sicheng’s eyes, focusing on the floor. “Y/N and I...”
Sicheng’s eyes snap down to the exact placement of the thread and he comes closer. “I don’t see anything, Xux.”
“Obviously.” The taller boy motions for the vibrant red string. “But Y/N and I definitely do.”
“No fucking way.” The other Chinese guy shakes his head staring at Xuxi’s ankle. Until a smirk blooms on his face. “Y/N, though? I’m not surprised.”
“Right?!” Xuxi groans and stops, realizing Sicheng said the complete opposite of what he thought the guy would say. “Wait, what do you mean? We hated each other.”
“In the whole three years we’ve known each other, Y/N’s the only girl thats been consistently in your life that isn’t family.” Sicheng shrugs and continues to smirk at the boy sitting on the bed. “Which is insane because, you know, it’s you. And I am now 30 dollars richer thanks to you and Mr. Kun.”
Xuxi completely skips over the second sentence once Sicheng finishes talking, turning to the boy with wide eyes and an incredulous look. “The both of you bet on Y/N and me?!”
“To date, yeah, but this whole fate thing is basically the same thing, right?” Sicheng laughs loudly and winks at Xuxi. “I’m joking, man. But, knowing Y/N, she isn’t too happy with this?”
“That’s an understatement. She’s outside getting air.” Xuxi lays back down with a groan. “When it went past midnight, its like my feelings towards Y/N flipped. I feel so different towards her, like, I don’t mind this whole... situation, you know? The whole soulmates thing?”
“Then what the fuck are you doing here?” Sicheng claps loudly, instantly pulling him out of his reverie and forces Xuxi on his feet. “Go and tell her that!”
“Are you sure?” Xuxi gives him a small look, not really knowing what to do in this position at all. He was used to girls but you were something completely different, not like any girl he’s ever dealt with. The last thing Xuxi wanted to do was piss you off, knowing how heated you would get. 
“One hundred percent.” The shorter boy shrugs with a smirk. “When am I ever wrong, Xux? Now, go!”
Xuxi hurriedly runs out of the bedroom without a second thought, racing to find you. It was clear as day in his mind now, Xuxi realized that all these years of detesting you was nothing but a hoax, because if you were ever somehow out of his life; Xuxi wouldn’t know what to do. 
He doesn’t stop to wink or talk to girls, only thanking and waving at the people who told him happy birthday. Xuxi was a man on a mission, racing through his yacht to get you.
“Y/N.” He gets to the front deck and slows his steps when you aren’t alone. Your best friend, Ella, he recognized, stood beside you with dear in headlights eyes. “Oh, shit, sorry, I thought you were alone.”
“Oh! Its okay, I was just asking about rides back home.” Ella laughs nervously, nudging you low key. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”
You nod and watch your best friend leave, not without throwing you a thumbs up and wink before she was gone. When its just you and Xuxi, the electricity is back and the headache is gone.
“Your headache stopped too?” You ask him and he nods at first before he realizes what you asked and Xuxi’s eyes widened.
“How did you know my head hurt?”
You shrug and the corner of your lips pull up. “Soulmate thing.”
Xuxi’s eyes focus on your smile for a second longer then bubbling laughter flows out of him. He takes some steps closer to you, reaching forward to hold your hand. Theres the feeling of pop rocks the second your hands touch and its addictive.
“The feelings aren’t fake or gonna fade in a day or two.” Xuxi clears his throat and blushes a little, the tops of his ears turning red. “They’ve always been there. This whole string thing just made me realize it.” 
The moonlight, colorful city lights, and fairy lights decked throughout the yacht made this moment so magical, for the first time that night, you fully believed in the old Chinese wise tale. 
“You piss me off a lot but I don’t know what I’d do without it.” You say with a shrug, smirking not long after. Xuxi chuckles and bites down on his lip, looking down at you.
“Are you willing to give it a shot, Y/N?”
You sigh and playfully roll your eyes, standing closer to him. “I guess I will, Xuxi.”
The red thread between the two of you dissolves almost all together the longer the two of you keep smiling at each other. Seconds later, fireworks go off in the backdrop and scares you, making you shriek and jump. Xuxi laughs loudly and holds you against his chest, watching the colorful lights in the sky.
“I forgot the fireworks went off at 2am.”
“Why 2 in the morning?” You laugh loudly, unable to stop yourself from clutching onto his chest to get closer. The warmth Xuxi gave off was so inviting.
“So people don’t forget it’s my birthday.” Xuxi smirks to himself, obviously proud of himself. You roll your eyes but laugh none the less.
“You’re unbelievable, Xuxi.”
32 notes · View notes
adanceforrain · 5 years
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To all the boys I’ve dated (in 2018)
2017, like 2008, was a metamorphic year because I fell in love (with N)… and I think when anyone falls in love they’re never the same again. Both years a boy who I found to be special catapulted me into the stratosphere where I experienced satisfaction akin to what I imagine a devout Buddhist monk must experience once they’ve attained nirvana. And in both years, just as quickly and unsuspectingly as I found myself floating at unseen heights, I came crashing down with blazing meteoric speed. When I landed, my spirit was so shattered I forgot who I was or what made me… me. But the silver lining of being so broken is this golden opportunity to take all those unrecognizable shards and rebuild myself into something new, something better. I’m happy to say that in 2018 I was able to accomplish just that, although the recovery and repair process was far from pretty and clean.
The keys to my recovery this year were dance, friends, and boys.
Dance
While I’m still not a great dancer, learning how to dance has been so fucking liberating and empowering. In dance class I was able to explore and experiment with different facets of myself, even the ones I’d normally not have the opportunity to safely display, such as being sassy and hyper-feminine. Every class I’m looking at myself, studying my body and how it reacts to certain movements, and doing this day in and day out creates this beautiful and intimate relationship with my body. I’m much more familiar with it now than I’ve ever been. With that familiarity brings a newfound confidence. I now no longer fear getting out on the dancefloor and dancing a fool, and this freedom has renewed the novelty and enhanced the fun of going out to clubs, music festivals, and raves. Now more than ever, I feel comfortable in my body (despite being twinkier than I’ve been in the past 5 years).
Friends
Like Lady Gaga’s ‘100 People In A Room’ quote, I’ve told my closest friends my heartbreak stories more times than they care to remember, and just like Lady Gaga, each time I’d say it with as much gusto and sincerity as the first. Even after hearing a retelling of a romantic endeavor for the hundredth time, my friends still listen and provide genuine feedback (and maybe throw in an eye-roll here and there but with a pinch of love). And whenever I entered a new relationship with a boy (regardless of HOW many red flags he had), my friends still unconditionally supported me, even if that support came in the form of complete disapproval. Romance aside, simply being surrounded by people who sincerely listen and laugh at my dumb jokes is so, so reassuring about my worth as a person. To feel seen. To be loved. Even in platonic form, it’s still incredibly rewarding.
Boys
I was a mammoth of a mess this year when it came to boys, but I’d be lying if I said being so was not only helpful but essential to my recovery. For the first 3 quarters of 2018 I was dating guys for reasons I’m not proud of, especially in the early months of 2018 when the sting of heartbreak was still incisive and N’s ghost was still relentlessly haunting me. I dated four guys this year: J, R, G, and S. All of them except S were motivated in some way, shape, or form by N. J was in hopes of replacing him; R to make him jealous; G to prove to myself that by dating him, then maybe, just maybe, I could be more attractive than N because I won someone over who is so highly sought after (at least on social media). I even slept with N’s ex to get intel on N, which is arguably one of the most immoral and cunning things I’ve ever done. While I may not have succeeded in the mission set out for each respective boy, they all, in their own way, contributed to my growth as a person by showing me exactly what I didn’t want in my romantic future or myself.  
S was the first guy I dated not out of spite for N or in hopes of making N jealous or even to validate my value in the dating market but because I genuinely liked him and hoped for the best, at least in the initial honeymoon phase. In retrospect, it’s as clear as crystal that we’d never work due to our differing interests, personalities, friends, and senses of humor. I mean, there was some overlap, but we both knew (him more than me because I was too blinded by his smile), that we’d ultimately fail long term - that we’d end up hating each other. He taught me that I still stank of desperation.
I’ve always known physical attraction alone isn’t enough to fuel a thriving relationship, but fully putting that into practice has been difficult since moving to the Bay where there is a seemingly endless supply of cute boys. I get so easily entranced by devilishly handsome faces that I willingly overlook glaring incompatibilities and red flags. I think it’s because of my insecurities, of feeling like I’m not attractive enough, therefore if I date someone society deems attractive, then by association and proxy, so am I.
All the boys I’ve dated in 2018 slowly and subtly helped me realize this, but it wasn’t until August when I went to Outside Lands with G did the realization really take form. G and I were talking/dating that entire summer, and I had this seemingly inextinguishable burning desire to win him over. When he finally agreed to stay with me and be my companion that weekend, I was elated at first… until that weekend happened. Being with him left so, so much to be desired. And I needed more. So much more. I needed humor. I needed depth. I needed human-to-human connection. I needed devilish grins, glances, touches, jokes, chemistry, and sin. Instead, what I craved most when I was with him was nothing of him at all – for him to not be there. I felt constrained and hamstringed by his presence. And that was also the weekend when I discovered what I wanted and what truly matters most to me in a romance.
The truest test of my 2018 growth came in November on Thanksgiving weekend when I went to Dreamstate. By sheer luck or divine guidance, I ran into N, and we reconnected in a way 2017 Adam would have killed for. We danced. We made out. We said sweet nothings to each other the rest of the night… Once the night was over and the dust settled, I, along with all my closest friends, worried I’d relapse. But I didn’t. I. fucking. DIDN’T.  And I’m so proud of myself!!! I didn’t because of the newfound confidence and love for myself that didn’t exist a year prior. I’ve rebuilt myself from the incinerated debris of 2017 into someone new, someone better. And I could not have done it without all the boys I dated (and revenge fucked… lol).
I’m ready to date again, but there’s no longer this rabid need to find a boyfriend. Of course, I still fantasize about being married with someone I truly love and am compatible with, but that searing desire that was burning me from the inside out has cooled into a controlled glow. 2019 Adam has learned from 2018 Adam’s mistakes, and I feel confident that next time I date, it’ll be with someone for the right reasons. 
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flamewyrmz · 6 years
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a late night rant from twitter im putting in one place, because its a trainwreck of several threads there. mostly copy/paste and still not proofread, but a collection of thoughts on gender, sexuality, personal identity, and love and support within the lgbtq community. i do really lay myself bare here so id like to ask that if you disagree or have criticism you do so respectfully and with that in mind, thank you <3 and if this means something to you itd mean the world to me if you shared it
dunno if ive said this here before but like. if you think you might be bi/pan but youre on the fence cos maybe youve never had a crush on a nonfictional guy or get more crushes on guys than on girls and you find yourself tied up in knots like "well im gay but im also attracted to nonbinary people unless theyre mostly woman-aligned but i dont wanna say im bi/pan because then people will think i like girls and like i like them theoretically but--" let go. just say fuck it! im bi/pan! 
try it out and if it doesnt feel right it doesnt feel right and thats fine and in the end no matter what youll have learned a little about yourself. this is actually my advice on any gender/sexuality dilemmas you might be having. go wild. try it out. see how it feels. dont feel like you have to confine yourself to something just because youve stuck with it for some amount of time. 
if youre questioning dive right into the deep end! no matter how it goes youll be a better swimmer in the end. its all not quite rigid and a little fluid anyways (for some more than others obv) so if youre unsure, man... go for it. its ok to backpedal
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this is important advice to me because ive struggled with it multiple times in the past and this has only recently clicked and i really wish it had sooner. first it was with being... not straight in general. like i was actively dating someone of the same gender and i never considered that that meant, uh, im not straight. always "do you like boys or girl?" "uhhhhhhhhh. uh. UH" 
then with being in the range of aro/ace spect. then with being nonbinary! then with being nb but primarily male. and then goddammit im just a boy. accepting that God I Love Men And Only Men (and with it that i *wasnt* aro or ace in ANY capacity) and then, very recently (like up until a couple months ago. like im p sure this year. not 2017), going back on that and admitting i was bi. it is so so freeing to just say "fuck it" and test those waters!
hell, you find something you resonate with but looks a little silly? go for it! use those bun/buns/bunself pronouns. go with stargender! ace-flux demibiromantic? hell yeah rock that shit! it can always change and you can always decide its not right and go back! h4y dudes
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all of that especially goes for teens who dont know what the fuck theyre doing. im only 20 yea and barely 20 at that but man i wish id heard this sooner
and please dont take that as me saying "well if youre a lesbian sexuality is fluid and maybe youre actually bi"! hell no. if youre a lesbian and you KNOW youre and lesbian and couldnt ever be anything else then rock on you funky little lesbian! but if you id as a lesbian but are teetering on something like "well im attracted to some fictional and theoretical men but not any real ones and maybe its just compulsory heterosexuality but im not sure and--" dont be afraid to try a different label. its all what feels right to you and theres absolutely no harm
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people bash on like. """mogai genders""" and nounself pronouns and the split attraction model and all that and like. yeah! those things can hurt people! personally i struggled with the split attraction bit combined with how broadly people define the ace spectrum. it can be used to hurt. and it is used to hurt. sometimes its deliberate, sometimes its not. but the hurt is there. but its not inherently good or bad. 
and yeah, some of it sounds silly. hell, it sounds silly to me sometimes! but to some people hearing that label makes everything click into place, even if just for a little bit, and i take that very seriously. it is one of the best feelings in the world and i want as many lgbtq people (of any age) to experience it. 
for some people it feels right to zoom waaaaaaay in and section it into lots of little bits and for others its "fuck it! i dont know shit! im just queer!" and those are both equally valid (that words been thru 12 garbage disposals but i cant think of a better one) maybe you go back n forth and thats fine too! as long as youre open to it changing or being wrong it cant hurt and, like i said, its one of the best possible feelings to have it click like that
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as an aside: being bi can *totally* mean "im attracted to men and nonbinary people are long are they arent primarily woman-aligned" or it can mean "im attracted to everyone fuck it" personally? i use bi over pan because i feel like it better encapsulates that i *do* have preferences (i say this all the time but God I Love Men) but ultimately gender doesnt really matter to me cos everyones cute and hot and generally attractive and im not leaving anyone out because im just a little more inclined to kissing boys. but thats me!
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as Another aside: i do still to some degree identify with uhh this is gonna sound contradictory but agender boy? or more like boy agender? boygender with left none? i just dont personally feel like its worth taking the time to explain over n over. but it used to be, for me, n i dont regret that a single bit! i wouldnt regret that even if i *didnt* still feel that way in any capacity. honestly? 
i dont regret any of the ways ive identified in the past even though feeling stuck and cornered into some got a little harmful to me (and if youve gone through somethin similar and DO regret it and wish youd never heard whatever term you used thats good too. im very strongly advocating for "use whatever labels you want and if it dont fit it dont fit" here but if they did hurt you and youre still hurting about it i understand 100% just dont use it to pull others down. if it concerns you say your piece and let them decide)
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this is personally a little hard to admit so bear with me here 
honestly? ANY sort of strong identity didnt start developing in me until i was.... 14 or so? and very slowly at that. like gender evened out around 18 and sexuality just a few months ago LMAO. but up until i was a teenager i didnt really feel much of anything re: gender or attraction (and the attraction thing is pretty normal for kids and even teens tbqh!) 
and i just.... didnt really think about it! i had This Name and apparently was a girl and i didnt really get what it was like to BE a girl but thats what people said and i didnt know there were other options so i went with it! the name didnt bother me either (except for when people made jokes about a Certain Historical Figure with the same one. just thinking about that i get tired) 
and when it came time to actually grapple with the whole concept of being *into* people i just kinda... slunk away! no joke until like 10th grade if someone started a rumor that i was dating x or y had a crush on me i would start to avoid them entirely. lost a friend in 4th grade that way but then in hs hed turned into a TOTAL DICK so no loss there. i think part of that was also people making the assumption that i was straight though? big shrug! 
i didnt even realize attraction was a thing i had until i got asked out and just kind of "oh wow??? that sounds so nice??? i feel the same??? yes??" and thats WHY i went thru varying aro/ace labels. cos it unfolded slowly (which again is totally normal if youre a teenager, so dont worry about it if youre going thru that. roll with the punches. and if youre a teen and youve got it figured out? thats totally normal too!) 
and the gender thing was similar once i learned that it was an actual possibility (especially being nb, and ESPECIALLY especially being agender) i slowly just... poked at it until i figured something out (fun fact: what set me off to finally go "fuck it im not a girl at all" was being stuck in an awful hair salon chair while my mom got a haircut that took FOREVERRRRRRRRR and i was having godawful period cramps. like i knew not being a girl wouldnt DO anything about them but i made that decision then n there n didnt look back!) 
and then i kept pokin at it and watching it like the seed id planted finally started to sprout and i realized i didnt actually know what kind of seed it WAS. i guess ive always been very nebulous in those aspects and its just now forming into something solid. like i said, its a little hard to admit and i... dont think ive actually talked about this in this depth before to, like, anyone? 
because the "oh ive always known" narrative is the only one you ever see in popular media and sometimes even from the community itself! and theres nothing wrong with having always known! but theres also nothing wrong with being like me! but i still feel a little anxious talking about it like it somehow means im a sham. 
hell, id even go so far as to say i WAS a girl as a kid! i WAS varying shades of agender and nonbinary and ???? as a teen, and i AM, like, 95% a guy right now! maybe in a few years ill be something else. none of those things contradict each other. things like that can change! its not set in stone (but like i said: for some people it is! or, like, set in slime that you left out for 5 years so now its pretty much a rock but if you really try it still squishes into something else?? none of these things invalidate the others! were all unique). 
i wouldnt say that at any point ive been cis or straight, cos even when i just went with being a girl and stuff it was always a little ??? but, yknow. even if i HAD been those things at some point it wouldnt matter to me? things just are the way they are and were the way they were
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im making myself really vulnerable here and my thought process is a mess and i ramble and repeat myself and my memory and attention span is like 2 seconds and i dont proofread but. its important i think. i dont have a lot of followers and fewer still thatre active but... that really doesnt matter. 
maybe someone will retweet at least one of these messy, messy threads. maybe link it to a friend. maybe screenshot it and post it on tumblr [note: LMAO YEAH AND ITS YOU DUMBASS], or to keep for themself. if any of my words help anyone out even a little then it matters and honestly? then its the most important thing in the whole danged world. if even one person sees any of the things ive said tonight and it means *anything* to them, even if just "oh, im not alone in this" then ive succeeded here. 
i dont want any of us to ever feel trapped or alone because shit! lifes too fuckin short for that! its goddamn hard being anything but cisgender and straight! sometimes it sucks! like really sucks! there have been so many times ive broken down completely over being trans and felt like, for myself, its the most awful thing in the world. its why prides so important. its why community is so important. 
because even when the pressure of the world brings you down so low you think youll never escape theres something or someone there to take your hand and pull you back up, put you on your feet, and say "i know its hard. and itll get hard again. but i believe in you, and youre strong enough for this, and im here with you through every step". that goes for anyone but especially goes for us. and im not just talking about lgbtq youth here. all of us. which is *why* im laying myself completely bare here. 
most of this stuff? ive either never talked about or only vaguely mentioned. but im putting it out there. because there was a point where i needed it but didnt have it, and even if its just one person, i want to give someone this advice so at least they dont have to deal with the same stuff i did. and if youre reading this? i love you. im here for you. im my dms are always open and if for some reason they arent its almost definitely an accident and if you say something ill reopen them. 
and if youre someone who hates me? maybe even mutually? if it came down to it id let you come to me at your lowest moment, no questions asked, no judgement held, and at the end of it still be the same kind of enemies we were before and never speak again. there are some exceptions of course but honestly ill forgive a lot for someone who needs that kind of support. and if youre one of the people this applies to, i know youll probably never take me up on it. i dont expect you to. i dont expect you to even for a second be comfortable with that idea. thats fine. but if for some reason you ever need it, its there. 
i can count on one hand the ex friends that i wouldnt give that to and thats ONLY because theyve legitimately hurt me and left lasting damage (and for some of them? its mutual. and im sorry for that, regardless of how i feel about your treatment of me im truly sorry for my actions. that probably sounds fake and anyway i digress) 
and if youre a complete stranger? someone who follows me but has never interacted with anything ive posted? a mutual i havent spoken to yet? im here. and im bumbling, and awkward, and not the best at comfort but you can always come to me if you need someone. im only one man and im under a lot of stress but i swear ill do the best i can, even if its only reading and replying 3 days later and even then just listening and offer whatever gentle comfort or reassurance youll accept. 
because thats important to me. thats the impact i want to leave on this world. i dont ever want anyone to feel as small, as scared, as worthless, as alone as i have. im no fighter. im not going to lead any revolutions and hell im too anxious to even go to protests but im here for support. im here to help and heal. and thats important too
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and if you listened to that? thank you. if you just skimmed? thank you for that too. if you shared it with someone? thank you (so much). and if you dont? thank you anyways, just for the time
just know this: i love you. i dont care who you are, if youre reading this i love you and im behind you 100%. im here if you need it. stay strong, do something that makes you smile if only for a moment. take that leap of faith. dont restrict yourself for even a second
i meant to go to bed at least two hours ago so goodnight <3 be safe, drink some water, if you have any kind of pet give it some love. take care of yourself. youre the most important person in your own world and never forget that, even if you dont think you are. even if theres something or someone you treasure above everything else. dont diminish your own worth! you are alive, and you are here, and theres nothing more important than that, really. the things you love matter more than anything else. hold them close
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mingyubias · 6 years
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& i know this is ?? like a month late?? idk but !! someone way back when asked me about my hevie/descendants hcs/thoughts so i’ve decided to make a lil list that i’ll most likely add on to as time goes by and i get more info
first of all, i like to completely disregard the sugar coating that disney put on the entire series. for example, their lives on isle would’ve been grittier and much more cruel than what was depicted in the movies ( and somewhat the books ). i personally see all of their parents as emotionally and mentally Abusive ( bc they definitely are?? and melissa’s account of it def made more sense than .. disney’s igvfdn ).
also i like to imagine them? older? because i just cant personally relate to teens anymore so i see them as like 19 in my mind when im reading fics and the like ( especially since the ones ive read have hevie as sexually active ).
i really and truly dislike mal based both on her actions in the first novel and how she behaved in the films ( a lot of people haven’t read the books, but to sum it up, she spent 3/4 of the first novel tormenting evie first in a petty way and then in two (2) seperate life-threatening ways ). this has left me feeling completely cold towards mal and unable to sympathize with her in her tantrum in d2.
now, though i feel this way about mal, i can completely understand why evie wouldnt. it is literally written that evie brought out the best in people ( “The princess possessed a darling giggle that was so entrancing, it brought a smile to haughty Lady Tremaine’s face [...] The ferocious tiger Shere Kahn was practically purring like a contented kitten. And for old time’s sake, Captain Hook bravely stuck his head between Tick Tock’s open jaws, if only so he could make her laugh and hear that lovely peal again. The princess, it would seem, could make even the most horrible villain smile.” ) even when evie ass KNEW mal was planning something and despised her, she STILL did her best to give her the benefit of the doubt i? ? ? ?  ??  ??? ? ? a tru queen
i didn’t read rise of the isle of the lost so i’m not 110% sure how harry is characterized in the books, but uhh id die for him ..
and i also dont? think he and mal ever had a thing lol .. just bc thomas and dove are dating that doesnt mean they gotta add in an unnecessary plotpoint ( especially considering how it’s canon in both the books and the movies that mal’s never had a boyfriend before ben .. *eyeball emoji* ) so uhh miss me with that
and i know that hevie is? a crackship? so dont come to me with “hevie aint canon” like huney i know but theres also no canon evidence negating the possibility either
ok so on to the actual hevie hcs .. cos i think about them a lot vfjdnokm
she is 10/10 the one who showed him how to do the scary pirate eyeliner thing ok but in my mind it started out much cleaner so it was just yk liner but then after scrubbing at his eyes so much ( thanks, salty ocean air ) it just became easier to leave it messy
the blue bandana he wears under his hat ? evie’s. kinda like how knights used to wear the colors of their wives/betrothed w/e its like a subtle claim and him making a lowkey gesture and im Weak over it tbh
captain hook ? loves her .. not only because she clearly has Some clout on the isle, espcially since apparently her momma and maleficent are friends now ( ?? idk disney makin shit up ) so hes like ((:: well !! but on the other hand .. evie is just a generally good person and she makes harry happy and shes charming and beautiful and genuine?? ya i see him really vouching for her ( especially since i dont really consider captain hook a real? villain? ig? he just wanted revenge on the immortal brat who literally Sliced Off His Hand and Fed it to a Crocodile ??? ) so !! ya
evil queen def dont approve but uhh what she doesnt know wont hurt her ..
i dont see her getting along with uma like she does so much in a lot of the fics, though, mostly because i feel like uma would resent her at least a little for basically being the person mal replaced uma with, so .. also for snatching half of harry’s time ( cant have a first mate who’s more loyal to someone else than his captain ). i also don’t see harry and uma as a couple, mostly because i imagine she’s at least a few years younger than him .. like everyone else felt older than they were in the movies, but uma def gave off 17 y/o vibes to me ( so did carlos but hes a lil baby and i love him )
that said, she’d get along really well with gil tho cos shes so kind and understanding and i dont see her getting so easily annoyed with him like everyone else does. not to mention she was .. sorta? friends with his older brothers in the first book so vinjdkm. quasi sister for that boi
theres a lot less interference between the vks and the pirates than you’d think? mostly because they keep it a secret from drama queen mal ( cos in my mind, carlos and jay prolly know cos i uhh trust them with info like this ) though i feel like itd especially put a strain on her relationship with jay since he dont like harry and he was friends with mal first so ..
a loooot of quiet moments in his cabin on uma’s ship .. just enjoying each other’s company on his hammock, slowly rocking back and forth, her probably playing with his fingers cos damn
just as many arguments tho cos theyre both hot headed and their personalities clash like a motherfucker honestly like ?? a ton of banter and low-blow comments that end in heated silence until evie cracks and apologizes or harry slowly grins and they kiss and make up wow i love my kiddos
10/10 see him climbing a trellis like a better version of romeo like vbifbhcjndm wherefore art thou, harry hook? bgvfnj anyways ya i see it very vividly in my mind, especially when theyre first getting to know each other .. like they have whispered conversations on her crumbling balcony and in her mind shes like “why does he seem so familiar????” and hes like “wow who IS this girl” and its cute and silly and he teases her the whole time and she teases right back wow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
deep ass conversations under the stars about what they’d be doing if they were free to go wherever they want .. him talking about sailing the seas as a captain of his own ship and making a name for himself and she realizes as time passes that princes? dont seem very important to her anymore ?? and the more he talks about how wide and vast the ocean is the more appealing it become for her and she begins wishing he’d take her with him sighs
her initiating their first kiss cos uhh pirate or not hes like .. shes a Princess theres no way theres anything between us .. right ?? but obviously she likes him smh silly boy and she rolls her eyes and is like “when are you gonna kiss me?” and he stares at her for a sec before grinning like the roguish pirate he is and doing just that & its surprisingly gentle and uhh reverent BYE
evie willingly kissing him even tho it smear her perfectly applied lipstick ((:: and as an add on to that, evie letting him turn her into a disheveled mess after a thorough makeout session, hair all tangled, lipstick smeared, clothes wrinkled ihbvfnjdm and she lk loves it cos he clearly thinks shes still drop dead gorgeous without all the theatrics her mom ingrained into her mind that she needed to be beautiful ((:: i live and breathe for the acceptance !! wow !!
the angst .. when she goes to auradon .. wow ...... im actually so hurt by it ???? and i def see harry feeling abandoned sighs rip in peace my happy kiddos say hi to pain and suffering (:
doug ? is not a love interest in my mind .. sorry kid .. ur a good friend tho <3 and evie is in auradon watching mal maybe get her happily ever after and evie’s lowkey bitter abt it but obiously doesnt show it cos uhh shes here to love and support her ugli friend !!
harry being a Broody Mess and it making him seem more malicious and vile than before .. easier to enrage, quicker to react .. yk, harry in the movie !
but at the same time !! hes juggling uma’s i-told-you-so’s and trying to find a way to prove himself to his father and wishing evie hadn’t ever left and it being .. no fun at all for him esp with gil muttering about how he wishes evie were around and making the whole situation Worse smh
at the confrontation ohh god !! not the big one with everyone and the wand but before when they took ben ??? damn his eyes RAKED up and down her trying to assess if she was happier without him or if she felt even a little bit of what he did and getting angry when she gets angry over him taking ben i ??!!
evie sneaking away to confront harry personally over it and them getting into a shouting match and leaving things unresolved and WORSE than they’d been before ughhhhh
then ........ few months later boi gets an invite to come to auradon ... color him Surprised over that .. he almost refuses but he thinks of the ship he’s always wanted and quickly packs up his cabin like a second later
evie  mentally considering taking harry off the list initially but then remembers that its his only gd chance to get away from the damn isle and out on the sea like he always dreamed & knowing she cant take that chance away from him just cos shes scared to see him again
that got away from me and felt more like fanfic plotting ... but uhh harry being the one who taught her to swordfight cos lbr who else couldve ? jay didnt carry one around until auradon and as far as i know evie didn’t have any sort of fencing lessons ( especially since it was a big deal for lonnie to have been on the team ). so !!
he also taught her a handful of other self-defense maneuvers beyond running and potions that never worked correctly on the isle cos uhh its a shady ass place and hes Worried about her
also he 10/10 calls her princess anyone who disagrees is free to do so but theyre wrong
she repairs his coat All The Time cos boy is always in need of patching up smh BUT she sewed her lil heart with a crown on the inside of his coat right next to where it lays over his heart cos uhh she loves him pce
him bringing her pretty seashells and trinkets he got from the salvage ships .. things like faded gold earrings and necklaces when one time he shows up with this tiny little shard of blue seaglass thats worn into the shape of a heart and she immediately makes it a charm for a bracelet & treasure it above all the other things she has lol !
them being 200% supportive of each other in general and loving one another despite the odds against them??? harry literally willing to risk everything for her ?? her honestly getting tired of hiding him and pretending she doesnt like him and one day just blurting it out to mal and bein like “if you dont like it then that’s just too bad for you” and walking out head held high but deep down freaking the FUCK out bihfnjde and harry being So Proud of her and willing to legitimately fight mal if she gives her shit over it bgvihfnj wow i just .. i just love them so much ..
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glowstickhaloboy · 7 years
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AU where keith accompanies lance to get a tattoo
so like. lance expects pain. he knows that getting a tattoo will hurt, he just doesnt know how much.
so he brings keith along with him.
thats the thing. keith is lances rival (but also kinda his friend, so it isnt weird to ask him to watch lance get a tattoo) so lance would never  n e v e r  show weakness in front of keith, even if he was getting a needle repeatedly buzzed through his skin
(lance is not terrified of needles, but that doesnt make him their biggest fan)
he made his appointment like a week ago, and since he was doing something small, they were able to squeeze him in much faster than hed thought they would be able to. suddenly, he has to quickly muster up his bravery.
“are you okay, man?” asks keith as they walk into the shop. “you look kinda pale.”
“what? im fine. shut up. mind your own business.”
“pft.”
lance almost feels bad, but hes more distracted by the fact that hes about to permanently mark his skin with ink. like. forever.
and its a worthwhile tattoo, its his aunts name on his shoulder because she passed away last year, and a lot of the adults in lance’s family have the same tattoo and he wants to prove that he’s not a baby anymore, but its still a big commitment
lance and keith are taken to the back room, where a guy is literally in the process of getting a tattoo done, which should not be a surprise in a tattoo parlor, but still lance kinda stares like he cant believe hes really here
keith nudges him. “are you sure youre okay?” he asks again. its the genuine concern in his voice that steels lance’s resolve. bastard.
“i am fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine Keith, what part of that statement dont you understand??” he glances back at the dude with half a dragon on his back. gulps. “totally fine.”
“because if you arent sure about this,” keith continues, “you shouldnt do it.”
lance scoffs. “im sure, keith. dont be ridiculous. and since when did you care? besides, i already made a downpayment, so if i dont go through with it, im out 60 bucks.”
keith shrugs. “whatever you say.”
so eventually the guy getting dragon-ed leaves with more of a dragon, not all of it, because apparently huge tattoos are done in sessions (by hour how can someone be okay with getting needled for h o u r s at a time???) and the artist wipes down seemingly everything in the room with disinfectant. lance is grateful for this. it gives him plenty of time to bolster his courage again.
the artist explains everything through to lance, and he doesnt know why hes still nervous. he really doesnt want the needle to hurt. he doesnt want to regret the decision in three months. he doesnt want everyone to make a big deal out of him getting a tattoo.
he has to take off his shirt because the tattoo is going to be on the back of his shoulder. hes been using humor to cover up his freak out this entire time, but now if he laughs he’ll mess up the tattoo, so he just has to lay there, trying not to look at keith, and listen to the pandora station the shop has playing.
finally, just as its about to start, even though keith is there, lance admits to the artist, “the anticipation is going to be horrible if im not facing you-”
“relax, man,” the artist says. “im not gonna leave you hanging. I’ll tell you before i come at you.”
and lance is like. okay. you can do this. brave face time. keith is right there. time to impress him.
and then the needle starts buzzing and lances eyes must go as wide as saucers. keith hides a snicker behind his hand and lance glares at him harder than he glared at uncle ricardo when he went for the last quesadilla at lance’s sister’s wedding. “i dont see you getting stabbed over here, keith,” he says.
keith shrugs. “you chose this,” is all he says.
“damn right i did, and its important to me, so stop making fun of me, you nerd ass jerk face.”
keith sobers. “youre right, sorry.” hes still smiling, though.
and, okay, there is pain. theres definitely pain. but its honestly not horrible. thinking about what it was going to be was definitely worse than going through it. lance isnt a wimp, he finds a rhythm to breathe in and grits his teeth past the burn.
all in all, the tattoo does not take more than fifteen minutes. lance is actually surprised by how fast it goes. he stands when the artist tells him to and twists around to check out his back in the mirror.
his heart soars. it looks awesome. he may or may not tear up a little.
the artist helps lance bandage the tattoo and gives him instruction for aftercare, and lance returns the favor with a generous tip.
keith is holding out lance’s shirt, and lance flushed when he realizes that hes still naked from the waist up. he snatches his shirt and tugs it back on.
“it does look really good, man,” says keith.
lance is practically glowing. “it does, doesnt it?” he says. “my family’s going to love it.” and then softer, “i love it.”
keith punches lance’s arm lightly. “you should. and, for the record, i was surprised at how well you kept it together. except for gritting your teeth once, you really handled yourself.”
lance’s blush deepens. “were you watching that closely?” he asks, embarrassed.
keith doesnt say anything because they reach the door to the shop. he holds it open for lance. lance catches a whiff of the pizza place across the street.
“dude, i am starving. i havent been able to eat all day, i was so nervous. you wanna grab something to eat? my treat, since i dragged you all the way out there.”
keith--keith--smiles. “i’d like that,” he says.
once theyre seated inside, lance asks, “so come on then, if you were getting a tattoo, what would it be?”
“i already have one,” keith says, stone serious.
“really?! where??”
“on my foot. its a wolf’s head that says courage. its spelled out in the teeth.”
“no way! youre lying to me right now! i gotta see this!”
keith rolls his eyes. “obviously im lying lance. but if i had to get one... i dont know. i would want something personal. but i feel like i dont have enough pieces of my own life to pick something out yet.”
lance stares for a second. blinks. “keith, that is literally the saddest thing anyone has ever said to me. you arent waiting for your life to stumble back towards you! youre living your life right now. who you are right now is, well, who you are. and your life is what it is. even if youre not, i dont know, complete, youve still got to have things that are important to you.”
“yeah.” keith looks down at the table, folding a closed sugar packet. “i guess youre right.”
their pizza shows up. they dig in, and the conversation turns lighter. lance surprises himself by thinking how much hes enjoying spending time with keith. keith, of all people, makes lance happy. like he has any right to.
“alright,” keith says at last, his mouth sort of full. “it would be a massive cock over my heart.”
lance chokes. “KEITH.”
“because of how much i love cock, lance, you see, its whats most important to me-”
“WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS TO ME.”
keith breaks and starts laughing. “Shh youll get us kicked out!”
lance stifles his heart attack with great difficulty. because keith, who lance had the biggest hate-crush on in the history of hate-crushes, just told lance that he loves cock, and lance has one of those. and it is definitely getting the wrong idea from this conversation.
“i retract my question on the grounds that you are not taking this seriously,” says lance, blushing furiously.
keith nods. “thats fair.”
they recover quickly and finish their pizza. as theyre walking out, lance realizes that he really doesnt want their fun day together to end yet. he invites keith back to his house for video games or a movie or whatever, and hes sure hes going to be shut down. but keith, surprisingly, accepts.
halfway into the movie, keith breaks the stiff canal of distance lance placed between them on the couch to say, “lance. you know ive been hitting on you all day, right?”
lance chokes again even though there isnt anything in his mouth this time. “oh yeah?” he stammers. “well, m-maybe you’re so lousy at it i couldn’t even tell!” his voice sounds shrill. his face is burning. he cant look keith in the eyes.
“i thought that might be a possibility,” keith says coolly. “that’s why im telling you know: i have a crush on you, lance.”
“You cant just say stuff like that!” lance protests, waving his arms around defensively. “what am i supposed to say back to that?”
“hopefully, something like, ‘wow, me too, keith, today has been the most fun ever.’”
without looking at keith, lance slowly melts leftways on the couch, so he ends up pooled somewhere in keiths general area. “i had fun today,” he says. “i think youre hot. and nice. but thats all youre getting out of me.”
keith laughs, and lance decides he could stand to hear that again. all in all, not a bad day
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academicsapphic · 7 years
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92 Question Tag
Tagged by @annikki-studies​ thanks a bunch!
LAST:
Drink: always water
Phone call: the pharmacy
Text message: “everyone i know just leaves after sleeping together unless they’re like dating” - me to a GC
Song you listened to: Crushed Little Stars - Mitski
Time you cried: i don’t even remember which frightens me cause i normally cry every five seconds
HAVE YOU:
6. Dated someone twice: i haven’t even dated someone once 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i haven’t even kissed someone once 8. Been cheated on: see #6 9. Lost someone special: i don’t feel like i have?  10. Been depressed: it’s my way of life 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: okay so i did drink a punch at my friend’s party and i didn’t get drunk but my body completely rejected it cause i drank half a cup really slowly with water, was completely lucid, and ten minutes later started vomiting. that’s enough liquor for me i shall stick with beer. and im still salty cause i was like i wanna see what its like to be tipsy i wanna let loose and have fun! and my body was like “how about no fun and only puke”. all that to say: yes and no??? DON’T DRINK LIQUOR MIXED WITH JUICE IT’S A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN EITHER DO SHOTS OR DRINK BEER OR DRINK NOTHING
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: purple, certain blues, gray
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: omg so many. ive made shitty ones then i made my actual ones. all you do in college is make friends. 16. Fallen out of love: havent been in it. ive fallen out of infatuation though 17. Laughed until you cried: of course, all the time, my friends are ridiculous 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah that’s always a great feeling 19. Met someone who changed you: i’m sure lots of people i’ve met are responsible for who i am today  20. Found out who your friends are: yes, see #15  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: see #7 GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them why would i add strangers 23. Do you have any pets: a dog 24. Do you want to change your name: not really 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i think we went to dinner 26. What time did you wake up: like 6 something? not being at college means i have a normal sleep schedule and i hate it 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping i hate summer 28. Name something you can’t wait for: MOVE-IN MOVE-IN MOVE-IN I WANNA GO BACK TO UNI SO BAD 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: about an hour or two ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: so many things i cant even list but also im very grateful for my life so like idk 31. What are you listening to right now: HIMYM 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ?? idk 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: summer, registration, sometimes my family 34. Most visited websites: Netflix, YouTube, Tumblr, Amazon, Vandy’s registration site, and MyFitnessPal
LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: my arm, my neck, my chin 36. Mark/s: a lot, birthmarks, scars, places ive burned myself 37. Childhood dream: same one i have now, be a professional musician and performer 38. Hair color: dark almost black brown 39. Long or short hair: long, but recently my hair got cut and i actually really like it short too but for the long run, long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: no life is boring and im giving my feelings a break from getting hurt 41. What do you like about yourself: sometimes my music is good and my eyes are a nice color but i hate everything about me lol 42. Piercings: basic ears 43. Blood type: no idea  44. Nickname: Bree 45. Relationship status: single, as i have been for my whole life, as i will be for my whole life 46. Zodiac: Aquarius
47. Pronouns: she/her  48. Favorite TV Show: Fringe/The Office  49. Tattoos: Nope, maybe someday, something small on my wrist or hand, but probably not cause my pain tolerance is -100 50. Right or left hand: left 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: ive gotten highlights a couple times 53. Sport: softball from childhood through high school 55. Vacation: going to myrtle beach next week 56. Pair of trainers: what are trainers?  MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: just made myself dinner (veggie burger with lettuce bun and 100-calorie fries)  58. Drinking: water, obv 59. I’m about to: eat some frozen grapes and do some cardio 61. Waiting for: School to start jesus i wanna go back so bad
62. Want: all my wildest dreams to come true 63. Get married: i like really really wanna spend my life with someone so hopefully that happens someday 64. Career: idk yet. maybe grad school, maybe law school, maybe my music career will take off and ill get to do my passion for a living WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: i wouldnt know cause no kisses yet 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: for guys, taller, for girls i dont care cause theyre all so beautiful i shant dare have a preference for their anything 68. Older or younger: older but not by a lot 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i truly dont care i have neither so how could i judge 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive i love crying and i wanna have a df who cries too  72. Hook up or relationship: not that i could get either, but relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker cause im so hesitant HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: yes it tastes so bad but i stuck through it to try to get drunk  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i literally lost my right contact at the beginning of senior year and spent the rest of highschool wearing just my left one. i’m a mess. i’ve never lost my glasses though *knock on wood* 77. Turned someone down: yes which is amazing 78. Sex on the first date: if im going on a date with someone ive probably already known them for a while since dating strangers terrifies me so sure maybe why not  79. Broken someone’s heart: doubt it 80. Had your heart broken: not truly? like ive never been in love but in an infatuation crush sense? literally all the time. i spent all second semester so heartbroken that i was in physical pain for months at a time over this guy i liked so much who had a girlfriend and was also really annoying so it wasnt even worth it. it took a therapy session to get out of it.
81. Been arrested: no my black ass would probably be killed first 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: I never fall for friends. that’s so weird to me. when i first meet you i’m either not attracted to you so you’re therefore just my friend, or i’m attracted to you and i can’t just like you as a friend so you’re a crush. but i’ve never been friends with someone i liked, i’ve only liked strangers and people i’ve never talked to cause im pathetic. i could never like one of my friends oh my god. when friends like me, i get so uncomfortable i can hardly look at them. DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: honestly i have to cause its kind of hard to let down the only person on your team at all times  85. Miracles: kind of, i believe that everything happens for a reason and the universe/gods have a plan so if something miraculous happens it was meant to happen 86. Love at first sight: i believe in first really strong attraction that turns into love 87. Santa Claus: not anymore :’( 88. Kiss on the first date: definitely, even before the first date who cares  OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: don’t really have a single best friend 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Breakfast at Tiffany’s probably
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themoneybuff-blog · 6 years
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Case study: Starting with less than zero
I am not a trained financial expert. Im not an accountant, Im not a financial planner, and Im not a stock broker. Whats more, Ive made many many money mistakes on my own financial journey. As a result, Ive always been reluctant to sit down with people and go over their budgets. That seems to be changing. In March, I spent a couple of hours talking with a friend about her financial situation. A few days ago, another friend asked if Id be willing to meet with him in the near future to puzzle through his budget woes. And yesterday, I took three hours to chat about money with my friends Wally and Jodie. As always, Ive changed names and certain identifying features in the story that follows. Unless I have explicit permission to share details, I do my best to protect peoples privacy when I write about their intimate financial lives. Wally and Jodie have recently begun dating. Hes in his early forties (and recently divorced); shes in her late twenties. They both work in food service, and have done so all of their lives. Their trouble and the reason they asked me for help is that they cannot seem to make ends meet. They work hard but never have anything to show for it. In fact, they feel like theyre falling further and further behind. Can you help us? Wally and Jodie asked. I can try, I said. Lets look at your numbers. An Income Problem To start, I said, lets look at how much youre bringing in. Thats part of the problem, Jodie said. We dont have a fixed income. Because most of our money comes from tips, we cant predict how much were going to make from one month to the next. Right, said Wally. And it doesnt help that our hours are irregular. We both work at several different restaurants. Some pay better than others. Plus, there are days when you wont have any customers. When that happens, youre sent home early with nothing to show for it. Well, how much would you say you make on average? I asked. Wally and Jodie made some calculations. I make maybe $1400 per month, Wally said. On a good month, Ill make $1700. And Jodie makes another $1500. These numbers are after taxes. Jodie nodded. But we each just picked up a shift at a new restaurant. That should give us each maybe $500 extra each month. Thats great, I said, jotting down numbers in my notebook. But I dont like looking at potential numbers. I learned the hard way that when you budget based on future raises, bonuses, or other expected sources of income, you can get into real trouble. Obviously, you hope that extra money comes through, and when it does, you can apply it to your budget. Until then, though, its best to ignore it. I thought for a moment. My first impression before we even look at your spending is that youre not making enough money. Youre making less than $3000 per month combined. We should brainstorm some ways you can earn more. Starting with Less than Zero I turned a page in my notebook. Now, lets talk about how much youre spending. Thats the problem, Jodie said. We spend exactly what we bring in, no matter how much we bring in. That means theres never enough to catch up on our debts some of which were behind on. What are your biggest expenses? I asked. Well, our apartment costs $900 per month but itll go up to $950 pretty soon, Wally said. Not bad, I said. Thats actually a great price for Portland. And its a reasonable amount based on your income. I explained how the average American household spends one-third of its income on housing; I advocate aiming for 25% or less. Food costs money, Jodie said. We budget about $100 per week for groceries, but thats just bare bones stuff, you know? I have a car payment, Wally said. In fact, thats one of our biggest problems. I took out the loan when I was married. My ex-wife and I are both on the loan. It seemed reasonable at the time. Now, though, its a pain in the ass. I owe $12,500 on the car and payments are $300 per month. To make matters worse, Im already a couple of months late on my payments. This is causing me a ton of stress. It makes Jodie stressed, it makes my ex-wife stressed, and it makes me stressed. Hm, I said. I dont have any experience with getting behind on payments. I used to live paycheck to paycheck, for sure, but I was lucky. I never had an accident or got sick, so I was always able to make payments on time. I dont know that I have any good advice for you about this problem, but maybe some of my readers at Get Rich Slowly could help. Wally nodded. Honestly, thats one of our biggest frustrations with the money advice weve found, said Jodie. All of it assumes that youre starting from zero. Or more than zero. What if youre starting with less than zero? What if youre deep in debt we have $35,000 in debt, just like you used to and what if youre behind on your payments? What then? All of the advice we read seems to be written by rich people for rich people. Yeah, I can see how that would be frustrating, I said. Like I said, I dont have experience starting at less than zero. I started at zero. I was deep in debt, but once I stopped spending, I already had a gap between my income and spending, so I could immediately start paying down debt. You two have some catching up to do. We need to figure out how you can play catch-up. A Mountain of Debt As we worked through their budget, I was mostly impressed. While Wally and Jodie arent bringing in a lot of money, theyre not spending a lot of money either. As with most budgets, they did have some discretionary items that could be cut, but not a ton of them. (Their biggest discretionary expense seems to be local travel. Theyre spending a couple of hundred dollars each month to visit family and/or have fun with friends.) My biggest concern was their debt. Between the two of them, they have $35,000 in debt: $12,500 for Wallys car, on which hes upside-down. (I wish I could just sell it and wipe out the debt, Wally said. But Id still owe about $3000 if we sold it.)$12,500 for Jodies student loans.$10,000 of miscellaneous debts, such as $500 they just spent to buy new tires after getting stranded because of a flat. To complicate matters, Wally and Jodie are going through several large life transitions right now. Wally is fresh from his divorce, they just moved in together, theyre both trying to find permanent full-time jobs, and theyre thinking about moving to a cheaper place to live. So, thats our situation, Jodie said. For good or ill, thats what we have. Where do we start? How do we get out of this mess? Well, I said, the good news is that I think youre both capable of working together to build a brighter future. The bad news is that its going to take some time. Its also going to require some sacrifices or what seem like sacrifices. If you want to fix this, youll have to do some stuff that sucks in the short term. But I want you to remember: Most of these sacrifices are temporary. Theyre only until you manage to get rid of the debt. I read what you wrote about growing up poor and having a scarcity mindset, Wally said. I totally relate. My family was poor too. Any time my parents got money, they spent it. They felt like they deserved to treat themselves because theyd gone without for so long. And looking at my own life, I see that I do that too. Thats a tough trap, I said. I totally relate. And I know first-hand how when youre poor, you feel like any windfall should be spent on fun. But if you want long-term happiness and financial stability, you have to decide that for a year or two youre not going to give in to that temptation. When you get a bonus or a raise or a big tip from a table at work, youll put that money toward your financial goals, not toward a nice dinner out. Once you get rid of the debt, you can have all sorts of nice dinners out. But until then, you have to agree to make a game of living on less. Growing the Gap I want you to focus on two things, I said. The first thing is the gap between your earning and spending. Right now, you dont have a gap. Youre spending exactly what you earn. Its impossible to save for the future or to catch up on your debt if you dont make more than you earn. So, to start, you two need to do whatever you can to increase this gap. I turned back to my notes on their budget. You should trim your budget in whatever way you can. You dont have a lot to trim, but if theres anything you can cut, cut it. I know family is important to you, but maybe you can explain what that youre trying to get out of debt and need to take some time off from the visits. Or maybe make the visits shorter a weekend instead of a week. And remember: Youre not cutting these things forever. Youre only cutting them until you get rid of your debt. Wally and Jodie nodded. Because you dont have a lot to cut from your budget, I continued, I think the best way for you to increase your gap is to find ways to earn more money. Right now, youre both working at two or three or four different restaurants. You only have a few hours per week at each place. None of the restaurants are that nice, so you dont make great tips. Honestly, I think this is where you should focus most of your attention. Wally sighed. Weve talked about that, he said. Wed love to earn more, but nothing ever seems to work out. One place says its going to give us more hours, but it never does. Jodie will pick up a shift a nice restaurant across town, but then its a logistical problem to get there. I get frustrated by how much time is involved with all of this. Thats a good point, I said, and I dont have a good solution. Actually, you know what Id do if I were you? Youre both great servers. You do good work. Your bosses like you, and so do your customers. If I were you, I wouldnt be looking for work at diners and cafes. In your spare time which I know isnt much you should be applying for work at upscale places. When you work at a nicer place, you dont do any more work, but you make a lot more money. Plus, you have the advantage of interacting with a different sort of clientele. If you build relationships with some of them, who knows where that could lead? When I was in college, I made money by waiting tables. I received several job offers from regular customers who were impressed by my work ethic. I suspect that if Wally and Jodie were in the right environment, theyd experience the same kind of thing. Another option is to pick up a few hours work doing something completely different, I suggested. Maybe Jodie could work in a womens clothing store. Maybe Wally could do yardwork or handyman stuff. I think we get where youre going with this, Jodie said. We need to increase the gap between our earning and spending. Because we dont spend a lot, the best way to do this is to earn more moneysomehow. Yep, I said. Thats the gist of it. Thats the first thing I think you should focus on. Taking Baby Steps The second thing you should tackle is your debt. I know you both have things you want to save for long term, but I want you to put those dreams on hold for now. You cant save for your future until you pay off your past. My dad tells me I should save first before tackling the debt, Jodie said. He says I should build six months of savings before anything else. What do you think? I disagree, I said. I think saving six months worth of expenses is a fine goal, and thats absolutely what you should aim for. But thats not where you should start. As you increase your gap between earning and spending because remember everything depends on this gap I think you should apply your money according to the Dave Ramsey plan. Here, Ill explain. I made a modified list of Dave Ramseys baby steps: Build a basic emergency fund of roughly $1000 (while continuing to make minimum payments on debt). My advice is to keep this fund in a brand-new bank account that isnt connected in any way to your other accounts, I said. You want to make this easy enough to access when you need it, but not so easy that you can just access the money on a whim.Pay off all debt using some version of the debt snowball method. When I was struggling, I couldnt figure out how to get out of debt, I said. Dave Ramseys version of the debt snowball helped me. In your case, Id use a slightly different version. Wallys car seems to be a huge psychological weight. You two need to prioritize that. After youve saved your emergency fund, throw as much money as you can at debt with everything extra you can find going to that car.Save an enhanced emergency fund equal to six months of normal expenses. After youre out of debt, beef up your savings. I know youll want to start saving for other goals right away, but dont. Take time to add some margin to your life. Youll be glad you did.Pursue long-term financial goals, such as traveling, moving to Idaho, or buying a motorcycle. You know whats awesome? I said. After youve taken time to pay off what you owe using the debt snowball, then you can immediately start building a wealth snowball. If youre paying $500 toward debt each month, then once that debt is gone you can immediately start saving $500 per month! That all sounds great, said Wally, but to be honest, J.D., in some ways your advice is just like the other advice. What do you mean? I asked. Well, its assuming that were starting from zero. But were not. Were starting with less than zero. I have an idea, said Jodie. What if we added a step zero to the baby steps? We could call it putting out the fires. Before we save the basic emergency fund, we could throw every dollar toward catching up on the car payments. I think thats fantastic, I said. In fact, I think thats really smart. If you can take some quick steps toward increasing your gap between earning and spending, then you should be able to get caught up on the car within a few months if nothing goes awry. Then you can pursue the plan Ive laid out. Wally nodded. I think that makes sense, he said. Final Thoughts After three hours on the back deck, I sent Wally and Jodie home with a handful of money books. I could tell their minds were bubbling with new ideas. (Is gas for the car a Want or a Need? Wally texted me yesterday afternoon. I love it!) I know that Wally feels frustrated. He hates being over forty yet feeling like hes in the same place he was when he was twenty. I get it. But heres the thing: He has to adopt a beginners mind. Start where you are, I wrote in January. Dont fret about the past or how other people are doing. Wally needs to accept that his situation is what it is and work to improve from that point. Knowing what I know about these two, I really do believe theyre capable of starting where they are starting with less than zero and destroying their debt in a relatively short period of time. It took me 37 months to get out of debt. (I started on 21 October 2004 and finished on 03 December 2007. Thats a total of 1139 days to pay off $35,196 in debt.) Progress was slow at first, but accelerated rapidly toward the end of that period. Wally and Jodie have exactly the same amount of debt as I did when I decided to become CFO of my own life. My challenge for them is this: Get out of debt quicker than I did. Do it in less than 1139 days. If we count yesterday as Day One, then 29 September 2021 would be day 1138. Wally and Jodie, my hope for you is that together you can be debt free by that date or sooner. What advice do you have for Wally and Jodie? What can they do to improve their financial situation? Did you start your financial journey with less than zero? Have you ever fallen behind on payments? If so, how did you handle it? How did you caught up? https://www.getrichslowly.org/less-than-zero/
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