#jokes but seriously

[ceruleancattail]

erm, sorry in advance if I break any rules or if I requested when not allowed to or- uh yeah sorry if I fuck up

what if using the tweels as a living way of transport, like hanging of their shoulders with arms wrapping their neck, piggyback, legs around their head as they rest on the shoulders type of beat

(why the tweels..uh..cuz tall hehe)

Aww this was so cute! Don’t worry, you didn’t break any rules hehe. I hope you like this! Thank you for letting me write your request🫶

Carrying their s/o

Floyd x reader, Jade x reader

Do you really have a choice with Floyd?

He’s only too happy to accept your advances, wherever and whenever. Floyd bursts into rambunctious laughter whenever he feels your hands around his torso, your weight press onto him. Your warmth wrapping around his skin like the morning sun’s gentle rays.

Floyd tends to throw you up on his shoulders, jolting you around quite a bit. It makes you yelp, clinging on harder. Pulling yourself closer to him, close enough for you to feel every beat of his heart, every bob of his adam’s apple.

Clutching onto your legs, he’s dashing all around Night Raven College, head throw back. All impish grins and boyish laughter, a bundle of joy. Floyd loves making sharp corners, or stopping with a sharp jerk, laughing at your panic. He’ll glance upwards with a crooked grin, a smug smirk dancing across his lips, eyes alight with mischief.

“Scared, Shrimpy?”

Maybe he’ll even have a little nibble or two, teeth sinking into your thighs. Rows of razor sharp teeth grazing over your skin playfully. A nip has you squealing in surprise, hands fumbling around his upper torso for stability.

Floyd doesn’t mind it too much, Y’know? Put your hands wherever you like, shrimpy.

After all, it’s pleasant having you cling all over him for once.

Jade’s surprised, but he takes it in stride.

Whenever you fly at him, Jade’s arms are snaking around your torso. Lifting you upwards gently, cradling you towards his chest. You could feel his chest tremble, an amused chuckle echoing through his throat.

He rocks you around, sometimes weakening his grip on purpose. It’s fun to watch your eyes widen in fear, to feel your arms rush towards his shoulders, squeezing as tight as they can.

Once you’re all snugly hanging on to him (for your life), Jade tends to coo at you. Lowering his face, poking his nose against yours. Maybe even nibble both of your cheeks, the sharpness of his teeth making you shudder.

Jade will tease you for your frightened little yelps and squirms, laughing away in that deep, rich voice of his. You’re just like a little fish, lost in the sea, wandering into the open jaws of a predator.

You’re lucky it’s his arms that were open, not his mouth. Although Jade won’t lie, taking a bite out of you seems fun. Just kidding, pearl. Don’t get all mad now.

Well, Moray eels were known for never letting their prey go, even in death. Perhaps the same determination could apply to love, no? The ghost of a smirk flickering across his lips, Jade shoots you a playful smile.

Devotion… it’s in his nature. So don’t worry your little head, alright?

He’ll never let go of you, love.

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #Floyd x reader #Floyd leech #Floyd leech x reader #Jade leech #Jade #Jade leech x reader #Jade x reader #lucky charm 🔷 #I AGREE #ALL THAT HEIGHT #AND FOR WHAT #PUT THESE TALL BASTARDS TO GOOD USE!!!!! #jokes but seriously #if you’re dating them #make these long guys carry you around #a whole new world fr

[memes-saved-me]

Billy should have been allowed to punch more people as a treat. Neil and Jason are at the top of the list but I'm open to suggestions

#billy hargrove #jokes but seriously #i want to punch something so Billy will be doing to for me

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

#ramble #if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands #you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things #some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible #the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think #i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex #this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!! #how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about #yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian #you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate

[cleaverqueer]

petition to change LGBT to DFTQ (Dykes Faggots Trannies and Queers, naturally)

#this is a joke unless you take it too seriously and get mad #then its genuine

[roninkairi]

You can only reblog this today.*

*PLEASE READ THE TAGS

#adventure time #finn the human #if you are reading this #please be aware this is a joke #this was a random thing tound on Facebook #and no finn really didn't say that #so go ahead and reblog it #just don't take it seriously #some of the people who reblogged this overreacted #so I feel compelled to add these tags to call them out on it #like seriously #chill out dudes #maybe eat a taco or two #tacos are life #so are burritos #ok this is running its course #david zaslav can suck it #i just felt like adding that because he is a douche

[rhinestonesox]

When Senshi was young in the dungeon the majority of the adults he were with ostracized him. All except Gillin, who died to make sure Senshi had something to eat: unseasoned boiled meat that may or may not have been one of their comrades.

It really puts into perspective why he was so nurturing towards Chilchuck. When Chil reveals he’s 28 to the party, Senshi responds by telling him that he thought he was older. Senshi was in his 30s when he and his comrades got trapped in the dungeon, so it’s safe to assume that he thought Chil was at a similar age.

He met a young boy who was, from his perspective, forced to do dangerous work in the dungeon just like he was, and so, Senshi made an effort to look after Chilchuck in the same way Gillin looked after him.

Mind you, when Senshi was young in the dungeon he had to starve for weeks, eat the horse he loved, and finish it off spending the next i don’t know how many years wondering if he committed cannibalism.

Senshi understands first hand the value of nutrition and proper eating, so when he’s with the party he makes an effort to make sure they’re all eating a full and balanced diet. Not only that, but Senshi INVOLVES them in the process of getting food to eat, always preparing it in front of them and narrating every ingredient in the process so that there’s no doubt about what they’re eating.

#i woke up in the middle of the night to write this and haven’t proof read so i seriously hope it’s coherent lmaoooo #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon spoilers #senshi #dungeon meshi #everyone jokes about senshi giving chilchuck the talk but he’s literally just trying to take care of a young boy who needs help #i’m crying #and sobbing #and punching the air

[sillyahhchana]

first set of fnaf ruin fanart guys we are back

#fnaf ruin spoilers #oh please dont take this joke seriously btw #cw strong language #fnaf ruin #fnaf sb dlc #fnaf sb ruin #fnaf security breach #fnaf sb #eclipse ruin #dca #fnaf daycare attendant #eclipse fnaf #moon fnaf #sun fnaf #moondrop #sundrop #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf fanart #fnaf sb cassie #roxanne wolf

[bioshzrd]

this random ass guy who’s entire bit is that he can move like this is the only good wesker fan ever

#talking #edit: i changed the caption you guys are so annoying lmfao #i didn’t mean anything by it at all if you think i’m equating being old with bad that’s entirely a you problem.. someone easily 20+ years #older than me is in fact an old ass guy to me sorry i didn’t realize the uses tumblr at age 30-40 community was gonna stroll up on my post #you guys are so sensitive my god #i call one of my closest friends and family members who are all 10-20 years older than me old all the time you guys need to learn not to #take shit so seriously and also don’t lecture me on my joke post

[chloesimaginationthings]

The actual lore in FNAF ultimate custom night

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #evan afton #fnaf cassidy #fnaf crying child #fredbear #fnaf andrew #toysok #fnaf #fnaf 4 #ultimate custom night #fnaf ucn #fazbear frights #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #this comic is unserious btw #sorry if this is your first introduction to Andrew #BUT HEY ANDREW MENTIONED 🔥🔥 #I wanted to make a little joke comic around the lil guy #cause seriously anytime someone learns of Andrew they go ‘who?’ #Cassidy getting all this bad rep for no reason #she’s (maybe) not even the one who made Williams super hell #Andrew gets to scoot by smh

[corgiteatime]

I love seeing people call whatever is going on between Astarion and Gale as "toxic old man yaoi."

Because if you told them about it, Gale would look sad and say, "Toxic is a bit of a strong word. Everyone in this group has their own issues and-"

Meanwhile, the 200+ year old vampire shaking with rage behind him would shriek, "OLD?!?!?!"

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bloodweave #fyi they are not actually old; yes that is part of the joke #if you reblog or tag this seriously retorting that they aren't old i will block you #i block anyone who doesn't think i'm hilarious because they are obviously wrong

[elainiisms]

this scene was 10x more emotional and romantic than any scene between them and those boys

#if you ship wednesday with xavier or tyler im sorry but what do you see there #like genuinely #psa please dont take this post THAT seriously its a show im joking around pls #wednesday spoilers #wednesday #the addams family #wednesday show #wednesday series #wednesday netflix #wednesday addams #enid sinclair #wenclair #tyler galpin #xavier thorpe

[fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma]

a little wip for u guys cuz i’m gonna be busy this week <3 (also @bisexuallsokka , you know what this is for)

ft. bonus sketchy panic

#atla #zukka #zuko x sokka #zukka fanart #atla fanart #zuko fanart #now that i see you #now that i see you fanart #wip #art wip #sdhncnjsidcijdscd so everyone neeeds to read this fic btw #that’s not even a rec that’s like #a right of passage #(joke. but seriously THIS FIC IS SOOOO GOOODODSJDSJJDSW) #it’s called ‘now that I see you’ by lesmisrablol on ao3 #and it’s perfect #shamelessly promoting your fic till the day I die Jo <3

[wuntrum]

new month, new postcard for the postcard club! 🖥📀💾

#my art #clip studio paint #tech tag #everyone say a prayer to the computer angel <3 #also NOT an april fools day joke. i take computing very seriously

[hiding-under-the-willow]

anyways. What

#atlas.art #artists on tumblr #mcyt #hermitcraft #hc s10 #docm77 #joehills #joe hills #juppet #vintagebeef #doc beef and joe just slowly fucking loosing it throughout this interaction is one of my favorite things that's ever happened on hermitcraf #also. watching his fucking gigantic hour glass slowly grow in the background of other peoples videos for the last week #why did he do that to himself so early in the season omg 😭 #it literally is so ridiculously large it is insane. it looks insane next to everything else around it. it takes up the entire skyline #im thinking about keralis. who built his lake facing the shopping district so he could avoid looking at iskall's monolith while fishing #or mumbo and grian joking about making the biggest mega build in the shopping district for their wart shop. good luck with that now lmao #seriously if you haven't already y'all should go watch Wels' last video if only to see that thing grow in the background throughout the vid #wels built an entire castle on accident in that video and i still spent the entire duration going 'DOC WHAT THE HELL' it was so distracting

[padfoot-lupin77]

Every queer person that has had to listen to their class/family/friends/etc. debate wether lgbt+ people should even exist or not should be given 100 bucks compensation. For each time. As an apology. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

#/half joking #seriously that shit is mentally damaging #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbt+ #lgbtq+

[eeldritchblast]

POV your disgraced former chosen/lover and one of your most devout clerics fall in love

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale #gale dekarios #bg3 oc #oc vesper #art #(this is a joke post please don't take it too seriously)