#just about my sleep problems and how i got meds

[loveandlucky]

X

#ok rant moment #so for years now i have struggled with excessive and disturbing nightmares and i wake up often during the night #a month ago i finally decided enough was enough and i went to my doctor about it #i was scared hed tell me i was just wating the wrong thing or having too much caffeine #that i wouldnt be believed #but he was instantly so kind and cared about the issue and didnt blame it on me #he said with what i was describing and how it happens every night no matter what #as well as me confirming i had multiple accounts of trauma and chronic depression and anxiety that i go to dbt therapy for #that these were ptsd induced nightmares and my fight or flight system is not turning off even when i sleep #which causes vivid dreams and feelings of high anxiety causing nightmares and spiking my blood pressure enough to wake me often #i felt...so validated #he gave me a medicine that helps with them which i didnt even know existed #anyway i was telling my mom and aunt about it this weekend #just about my sleep problems and how i got meds #and they were just saying how they thought i just vape too much or drink too much caffeine #i was upset by this but i let it go. #they just wont understand and any time i bring up anything about my trauma to my mom she doesnt wanna hear it or believe it #which is really shitty but i guess ive accepted it #anyway ive been doing 1mg per night for 3 days and its helped a little but im excited to move on to 2mg tonight bc thats what the dosage #schedule is #ive been quiet about this problem that i thought was normal for so long and i cant say how good it feels to at least be validated and #helped by my doctor #thanks for listening wheee #♡♡♡

[lazycats-stuff]

(Kind of self projecting sorry lol) SO! BabyBat has an upset stomach but Bruce's too anxious about giving him medicine because can his baby stomach handle those chemicals? Insert Alfred rolling up his sleeves "give him here master Bruce" a tired Bruce just hands him over without question and watches as alfred and baby head to the kitchen and suddenly...baby stopped crying? Bruce walks into the kitchen seeing flower stems on the counter and Alfred standing there with a sleeping baby "...How?" "Rosewater master Bruce, i made and fed him Rosewater" Not sure how to end this but basically BabyBat would only drink Rosewater from now on and Bruce has to upgrade his gardening game ,Alfred always has already-made Rosewater so his Grandson is always hydrated and the rest of batbros are just like "hell yeah my brother's too fancy for regular water" I hope you except my request and thank u! I love u

Oh no, I hope you are doing better now. Either way, this is an Alfred thing to do. Thank you for the love too.❤️

Summary: Alfred knows what to do.

Warnings: Alfred knows what to do, Bruce is tired, boys love their brother, but they want peace, fluff all in all.

Taking care of a baby is difficult, even for Alfred. Bruce and him had joined forces for (Y/N). The boys have also agreed to help whenever they could. It was exhausting to take care of a little baby. Bruce and Alfred were sleep deprived at this point and the boys took care of their little brother while the two recovered slightly.

It felt nice to have a presence of a baby here, despite the chaos that a baby brings. (Y/N) was an easy baby as long there was a routine for him. Feed him on time, change his diaper regularly, put him down for a nap on time...

All of the basics essentially.

Oh, not to forget, (Y/N) was often held in someone's arms. Whether it be Damian's, Dick's, Jason's or Tim's, (Y/N) was happy to be in their arms. Bruce was (Y/N)'s favorite none the less. Who wouldn't love being held by their father?

But, it seems that (Y/N) had medical problems. Bruce took him to the pediatrician to see what's going on. It seems that it was (Y/N)'s stomach and Bruce got some medication for it, but he was worried. Bruce believed in medicine, don't get me wrong, but... Will (Y/N)'s poor tummy will be able to handle it?

Bruce has tried everything he could to soothe his son, his anxiety preventing him from giving him the meds. How can he know that the chemicals won't make it worst? Again, he believes in modern medicine, but his baby is...

He doesn't want to hurt his son more. Alfred and everyone else tried to help, but (Y/N) was just in too much pain to even think about calming down for a single second. Jason was sure that (Y/N)'s voice will be lost in a few more hours and Damian wanted to die.

Dick and Tim tried, but nothing worked. At all. Nothing. Tim was exhausted and Dick was going to snap soon. Very much soon. Damian and Titus were out of the manor for these couple of hours and Jason went to the Batcave.

Alfred, all of a sudden got an idea. Going to the garden, he got some roses and has decided to make some rosewater for (Y/N). He cleaned the flowers in the kitchen and then put the in a pot before submerging the petals underneath the water. He put it on low heat and let it simmer for now. He put a lid over it and sighed as he heard (Y/N) crying.

He waited and checked on the petals and smiled when he saw that the petals lost color. He turned the heat off and moved the pot away, allowing it to cool down completely. (Y/N) can't drink hot water. And it would be a nice alternative to the medicine that Bruce is so anxious about giving to (Y/N). The worry is understandable, babies are more fragile than toddlers and older kids so giving them harsh medicine is not a good idea.

Alfred turned on the radio and removed the lid from the pot. He could hear Bruce's voice trying to shush his son, but (Y/N) was still crying from the pain. Alfred waited patiently as he poured himself some whiskey.

Did he love his grandson more than life? Yes, but sometimes, alcohol was important to soothe the headache the crying might have caused. He slowly sipped his whiskey as he waited for the water to cool down. Jason and Damian came down to eat something and Alfred pointed at the leftovers in the fridge.

" What's in the pot Alfred? " Damian asked as the took a container of food to heat it up.

" You'll see soon. I'm just waiting for it to cool down. "

" Is it for (Y/N)? " Jason asked as he looked at the food in the fridge. " Please tell me it's for him.

" It is. " Alfred said and took another sip of his whiskey. Damian and Jason sighed in relief.

" Thank God. " Damian said as he started heating up his food. Jason smiled as he waited for his turn.

" What's in the pot though? " Jason asked as he peered over to look at the pot.

" Some rose water. It's great for the stomach. " Alfred explained and Jason nodded as he looked down to look at the water more intently.

" Since when do we have roses in the garden? " Jason asked as he started heating his own food up and Damian sat down and started eating his food.

" Since forever master Jason. " Alfred said as he finished his whiskey.

Jason nodded and took his food out of the microwave and started eating.

After 20 minutes, the water has cooled down and Jason and Damian have left the kitchen. Alfred rolled up his sleeves and went to the living room, with Bruce still soothing his son. Bruce was tired and Alfred was sure that Bruce's ears were going to start bleeding in a few minutes.

" Hand him over master Bruce. " Alfred said and Bruce gladly gave (Y/N) to Alfred and he just closed his eyes and relaxed, the sound of (Y/N) crying moving further away from him. He kept them closed until there was silence.

Why was there silence?

Bruce opened his eyes and went into the kitchen where he found Alfred, with a sleeping (Y/N) in his arms. How the hell was (Y/N) sleeping?

" Alfred? What did you do? " Bruce asked as he looked around. Why were on the counter stems... Were those rose stems? Alfred chuckled at the confusion that Bruce was exhibiting.

" Rosewater master Bruce. " Alfred said, giving him a very short answer.

Bruce was still confused and Alfred chuckled once more. " I fed him some rosewater. " Alfred explained and Bruce nodded. Whatever it was, it helped (Y/N) out and Bruce wasn't going to question it at all.

" Huh. Thank God for the rosewater I guess. "

" Yes, it's a more natural remedy. I know you were anxious about giving the medicine to master (Y/N), so I remembered this recipe. "

" Alfred, did I ever tell you that you are the most important member of the family? " Bruce asked as he walked closer to his beloved son, caressing his little cheek.

" All the time master Bruce. "

" Good. " Bruce said as he leaned down to kiss (Y/N)'s head and the little boy slowly reached for his father. Bruce took him into his arms and allowed him to rest in his arms.

Dick and Tim popped their hands in happy and relieved that their brother was not in pain anymore. And that he wasn't ruining their hearing anymore.

" Is he okay? " Tim asked quietly and Alfred nodded. Dick sighed in relief and put a hand over his heart.

" Thank God. It's nice to have a silent manor for once. " Dick joked and everyone chuckled. That much was true.

" Well, it's great that our brother is not in pain anymore. " Tim said and walked closer to his baby brother, just observing him.

" Thank you Alfred. " Dick said and Alfre laughed. Bruce rolled his eyes with a fond smile.

After the discovery of rose water, (Y/N) refused to drink anything else. Thankfully, Alfred started feeding him some solid foods so he wasn't going to be hungry. But it was funny the first time (Y/N) refused to drink anything that wasn't rosewater.

Bruce was confused, but Alfred already had batches of water prepared for his grandson. (Y/N) needs to be hydrated. Bruce sighed as he drank his coffee, looking at the garden outside. He needed to call a gardener to plant more roses in the garden...

He glanced back at his son who was happily drinking his water, with Alfred holding the bottle.

The four older brothers walked in for breakfast and they all laughed.

" (Y/N) is so fancy. " Tim said laughing as he made his way to the coffee pot and the cereal cabinet.

" More than you B. " Dick joked and Bruce rolled his eyes with a smile.

" Yes, (Y/N) is a true Wayne. All Waynes are fancy in their own right. " Damian confirmed and Bruce just kept smiling at the banter that was going on here.

" You do know that you have up your gardening skills, right old man? " Jason teased and laughed behind his coffee mug. (Y/N) really did bring everyone together.

" I'll call the gardener the moment I'm in office. " Bruce declared and everyone nodded and started eating in peace. This is a very nice and calm morning for their standards.

" Is it just me or (Y/N) brought us all together? " Jason asked and everyone paused for a moment.

" You are right. " Dick said first and everyone followed with either nods or soft murmurs of agreement.

Jason walked up to Alfred and (Y/N) who finished his bottle of rosewater and picked his brother up in his arms. " My little brother is so fancy. " Jason said as he rocked his little brother, who in turn was shrieking with laughter.

Everyone smiled even more. This morning is really nice. And (Y/N) is a glue that keeps this family close and together.

#dc comics #dc x male reader #x male reader #batfamily #bruce wayne x male reader #batman x male reader #jason todd x male reader #red hood x male reader #tim drake x male reader #red robin x male reader #dick grayson x male reader #nightwing x male reader #damian wayne x male reader #robin x male reader

[janeyseymour]

hellooo i hope you’re well!

i would like to make a request, a melissa x reader. where they’re married and the reader has always struggled with sleeping. they’re on meds but sometimes they honestly don’t work or help. so mel has gotten into the routine of staying up with reader and eventually r will fall asleep on the couch, in mels arms etc.. one night ava decides to have a sleepover at the school for teachers and the students (like the field trip ep in abbott). the r freaks out a bit because they won’t have the routine with mel like they usually do.. after what feels like hours of fun the r passes out in mels arms as they are in the floor with the rest of the staff (telling story’s to each other).. mel goes into loving wife mode (basically saying to everyone to be quiet so her wife can sleep). SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE I JUST THINK THIS IS SO CUTE.

lots of fluff, lovey mel, overprotective mel..

I intended on writing a different fic tonight, but this one just started writing itself so... as always, not edited in the slightest.

Insomniac's Lullaby

WC: ~2.5k

You’ve always struggled with sleep. It was just a part of who you were. Insomnia haunted you late at night, and you would be lucky to get three hours of sleep most nights. You had tried melatonin early on into these sleeping problems, and it didn’t help. You didn’t feel like going to the doctor about this though- not when you were perfectly functional with the amount of sleep you got.

Melissa, your wife, has come to understand this about you, and with a little pestering, convinced you to go to the doctor for it. They were able to officially diagnose you with insomnia, and they were able to prescribe medication for you.

The first day that you were supposed to take it, you flat out refused.

“Mel, what if it really knocks me out and then I’m not up for work tomorrow?” you asked her hesitantly.

She sighed. “We’ll try them over the weekend, okay?”

“I really don’t think I need it to begin with,” you told her.

“Amore, it’s rather unhealthy the lack of sleep you get, and I would like to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t need the rest of your life to be cut short because you don’t get nearly the proper amount of sleep,” she pulled you into her arms. “Please, just try them over the weekend.”

So you did. And they worked magically. You took your medication religiously for about two months before it stopped working its magic with 100% efficiency. 

On those nights where the medication doesn’t work, Melissa has made the habit of staying up with you to let you know that you aren’t alone. Or at least, she tries.

“Babe,” you sigh. “You really don’t have to. I know you’re tired, and you deserve to sleep.”

“I am a dedicated wife,” she tuts as she settles into the couch with you. “If you’re up, I’m up. If you’re heading to bed, I’m heading to bed.”

“I can just watch tv in bed,” you tell her.

“But I know that isn’t super comfortable for you,” she rolls her eyes. “I’ll be fine. We have a big couch, and we can sprawl out.”

“But your back-”

“Will be fine,” she raises a brow. “Don’t call me old.”

“I said no such thing,” you raise your hands in surrender.

“Just lay down,” the redhead huffs.

You lay down, and she lays down and holds you to her chest. You turn on the television, and you lay there for hours. You know Melissa is still awake because you can feel the way that her right hand is lazily tracing your hip bone. So you start to feign sleep.

“I know you’re still awake,” she mumbles into your neck.

“I am,” you admit. “But you need sleep.”

“So do you,” she mutters. “How can I help you relax- without sex? I’m too tired for that right now.”

“I don’t know,” you whisper and turn to face her. Her eyes are half open, and she’s clearly fighting the sleep that wants to take her so desperately.

“Roll over,” your wife tells you as she helps you lay on your stomach. Before you can ask what she’s going to do, you feel her warm hand start to draw patterns on your back. It lulls you to sleep rather quickly, and as soon as she’s sure you’re out for the night, she too gives into her slumber.

That becomes a habit, but even then, that doesn’t always work. On those nights, after seemingly forever, you can convince her that the two of you can lay in bed so she’s more comfortable. She begrudgingly agrees, but she insists on carrying you.

“I can walk, Mel,” you roll your eyes as she fireman carries you up the steps and gently lays you on the bed.

“But then you’ll wake your body up, and we’re so close to getting you to sleep,” your wife tells you as she turns on the overhead fan and crawls into bed with you.

“You’re ridiculous,” you chuckle softly.

“Yeah, and you love me,” she huffs as she starts to spoon you. Her arms find their way around your waist, and you feel as her fingers trace delicate patterns on your stomach. Melissa kisses the back of your shoulder, and lulls you to sleep with her gentle humming.

Nights like this continue, and the two of you are set in your routines. Get to sleep however you can, and if it’s a particularly late night, you’re in charge of making sure the redheaded teacher has enough caffeine in her system to keep her going through the day.

The two of you are rather content in these routines- even if it means your wife can be testier on days where she isn’t as well rested as she’d like to be. You apologize to both her and the staff for her cranky attitude on those days. None of them know you suffer from insomnia and just assume the two of you had a wild night the previous night. Melissa’s stupid smirk does not help put these assumptions to bed.

But it all changes one day when Ava comes sauntering into the staff room during the lunch period claiming that she has a foolproof way to get everybody to bond. A staff sleepover with the students. 

Your eyes widen, and they meet Melissa’s. She can immediately read your mind and understand that you’re internally freaking out because your routine will get messed up, and you thrive on routine. The second grade teacher also understands that you won’t be able to take your medication because that usually knocks you out pretty well, and you have to be somewhat coherent if something happens in the middle of the night with your students. She lays a gently hand over your thigh and rubs her thumb back and forth to soothe you until the two of you can get home and talk it over.

“I don’t think I can do it, Mel,” you mumble tearfully that night. “I just don’t think I can handle our routine being messed up.”

“I’ll figure it out… Ava owes me a few favors,” the redhead tries to assure you.

Unfortunately, she can’t deliver. She tells your wife regretfully that they can’t have substitutes stay in overnight, and she’s already sent out the school wide newsletter announcing this plan. So the two of you are stuck doing this lock-in. She promises you’ll be taken care of.

The day of the lock-in comes quicker than you would have liked, and you’re beyond nervous. The two of you head home quickly to eat dinner and pack your things before returning to the school. The kids are beyond happy to see you, and you’re able to forget about your worries for quite a few hours as the students participate in activities with you. It’s all laughs and smiles, and you can tell Melissa is thrilled to see that you’re having a good time.

At some point, a few of the students who had Melissa in second grade and you in third grade flock around you, giggling.

“What?” your wife rolls her eyes. “Oi, I thought I got rid of youse years ago,” she teases them.

“Mel,” you playfully smack her arm. “Be nice. They’re just saying hi.”

“Actually, we have a question for you two,” Jada giggles.

“Oh good lord,” you mumble before looking to her. “What’s up, kiddo?”

“How did you and Ms. Schemmenti get together?”

“Mrs. Schemmenti, now,” your wife corrects.

“How did you and Mrs. Schemmenti get together?” Jada repeats her question. 

You tell them the child-friendly version of your love story, and by the end of it, the kids are giggling with glee.

“Thanks, Mrs. Schemmentis!” the group of girls hug the two of you before running off and sitting down in a circle a few paces away. They’re clearly talking about their own love lives, and you can hear one of them say that they hope they find a partner like the two of you.

Eventually though, the students start settling down, some in the gym and some in the cafeteria. A few of the other teachers have volunteered themselves to stay in the different rooms with the kids, and your usual crew somehow gets hallway duty together.

Your wife was smart enough to bring one of your blowup mattresses from home and gets it set up while you make sure that your kids are settling down well enough to not give the other third grade teachers a hard time. When you get back, your bed is made, she’s in her pajamas, and she’s propped up by the wall as she chats with Barb. The two of them are watching is Janine lays out a sleeping bag, telling the two of them that she’ll actually be fine sleeping on the floor because the tiles are cold and it’ll help her sleep better.

“Yeah kid,” Melissa laughs. “Don’t complain when your back is killing you tomorrow.”

You grab your bag from next to Melissa before heading into the bathroom to change. When you’re finished, you settle on the bed next to your wife, but she has different plans. She gestures for you to sit in between her legs and prop yourself up against her. The two of you take up this position at home quite often, but you’re shocked she’s allowing you to do it at school in front of your coworkers.

The teachers that you’re sitting with all trade stories and reminisce about their years at Abbott. Every once in a while, you put in your own little quip, but you mostly let your friends do the talking.

You feel Melissa’s arms around you, her right hand tracing patterns on your hipbone like she does at home, while she uses her left arm to hold you up, her left hand finding it’s place to rest on your stomach. 

Barbara is telling some story about the first year that her and Melissa started, a story that you had heard hundreds of times between the two, when you feel your eyelids get heavier.

“And then Melissa-” and that’s the last thing you hear before you fall asleep in your wife’s arms.

It takes a bit for your wife to realize that you’ve fallen asleep. She had noticed your breathing start to even out, but she just assumed that you were relaxing for once.

“Aw,” Janine coos. “Y/N is so cute when she’s sleeping.”

“She’s asleep?” Melissa raises a brow as she looks down at you. Sure enough, you’re sound asleep in her arms. “No more stories. Goodnight.”

“What?” Jacob asks. “But we were just getting to-”

“I said good. night.” the redhead silently challenges him to argue back.

“Melissa dear,” Barb says softly. “We’re all just having a good time, and Y/N has been asleep for the last fifteen minutes. Surely, us continuing to chat won’t wake her.”

“Barb,” Melissa grits out.

“What’s the fuss?” the kindergarten teacher asks.

Your wife bites her lip before glancing back down at you and kissing your temple. “None youse better tell Y/N I told you this.”

They all cross their hearts silently.

“She struggles a lot with sleep. She takes medication to help her, but sometimes it don’t always work. On nights where she really has a hard time, the only thing that can really get her to sleep and stay asleep is me.”

“How cute,” Jacob says softly.

“Y/N was pretty nervous about tonight, knowing she couldn’t take her medication with the kids being here and having to respond to something if we have to. We also have routines for when she can’t take her medication or when it just isn’t working.”

“Sex?” Ava chimes in.

“No,” Melissa rolls her eyes. “But she really thought tonight was going to be a sleepless night for her. So if she’s sleeping, youse need to shut up so she can stay asleep. And if she wakes up, there will be hell to pay. Woman needs it after only getting two hours of sleep last night.”

Barbara nods and starts to get herself comfortable on her own mattress.

“Is that why she always comes in looking exhausted?” Gregory asks.

“On days when she can’t sleep, yeah.”

“And you come in looking exhausted too?” Janine clarifies.

“Yeah. I stay up with her and try to find ways to get her to sleep.”

“Damn,” Ava sighs as she lays down. “I just thought y’all were freaky.”

There’s a chorus of a hushed, “Ava!” before everyone else lays down and gets ready to sleep.

“If any of the kids need anything, Y/N is last resort,” Melissa warns as she gets you to lay down. She curls up next to you, kisses your temple, and lets her eyes flutter shut.

You wake up the next morning feeling absolutely refreshed. There’s no chatter around you like you thought there would be.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Melissa whispers as she brushes a few hairs away from your face. You blink your eyes open, and there is your wife looking as gorgeous as ever holding her coffee mug. You glance around- there’s no students.

“Everyone else is up with them, and they’re all having breakfast in the classrooms,” she tells you as she hands you your mug.

“Crap,” you mumble as you go to sit up. “I guess I gotta get to my room so they can-”

“Mr. J has our classes handled,” your wife tells you.

“How did the kids get around me?” you ask as you run your fingers through your hair.

“Silently,” she chuckles. “I pretty much told them that if you woke up, everybody would get a demerit, and the offender would get a detention. That kept them quiet.”

“Mel,” you sigh.

“You needed sleep.”

“I’m sorry I fell asleep on you guys last night,” you sigh as you take her mug out of her hands and take a sip. The coffee tastes perfect.

“You needed it. The others knew you needed it too, so they told me they would help wrangle the kids back to the classrooms for breakfast.”

“They knew?”

“They see the way we walk in here sometimes… after long nights,” the redhead clarifies. “I kind of had to tell them when I threatened that if anyone woke you up, there would be hell to pay.”

“Oh good god,” you mumble.

“Jacob already gave me an herbal tea recipe that supposedly helps with sleep, so we can try that tonight,” your wife rolls her eyes in good nature.

You nod and take another sip of her coffee. “Okay, let’s go deal with our kids.”

“Mr. J has it.”

“I don’t need Mr. J telling my kids that Illuminati runs the world,” you roll your eyes as you climb off the air mattress. The two you get into the room just as Mr. Johnson finishes writing the word.

#melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti fanfic #melissa schemmenti #abbott elementary fanfic #abbott elementary fanfiction #abbott elementary

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

Hii so idk if u are planning on doing a part 2 for the stepcest or angst for a part 2 but I was wondering if you could write an angst about how they sneak around and eventually get caught?? It’s ok if ur not planning on a pt 2 😭 love ur writing style btwwww

Yasss I hope you like it! I wanted to post this last night but my sleep meds kicked in before I got to finish this part. There will be a part 3, as long as people want to read it:)

Pleaser - Stepbrother!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 2

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Part 1, Part 3

Summary: Your mom and Ethan's dad come home early, catching you in the act.

*there are mentions of a panic attack and some violence-related things, nothing too graphic...except the sex stuff:)*

A/N: I didn't think a lot of people would like the first part of this, and I kinda left this part on a cliffhanger because I love to be dramatic lol. If y'all want a part 3, let me know:)

You frowned when you looked at your phone and saw that your mom and Ethan’s dad would be home in a few hours. It was like everything changed after that first night. You were both loving the time you got to spend together, not just the sex. It really bummed you out that he could’ve potentially been a good boyfriend, but thanks to your mom getting swept off her feet by his dad, there’s no way it could work now.

You could tell that Ethan hated it, too. If it was up to him, they’d never come back, and he’d have you all to himself. He knew it wasn’t right, but he was catching feelings. The only thing that was going to get him through the rest of the summer was knowing that you were going to the same school in the fall. No parents, and no one would know that you were his stepsister.

“Hey cutie, what are you doing?” he asked, as he walked into the kitchen to see you in front of the counter, your back turned to him. He wrapped his arms around your waist and laid his head on your shoulder.

He got concerned when he heard you sniffle, so he turned you around to face him. “What’s wrong?”

You wiped tears off your cheeks as you looked at him.

“Everything’s wrong. THIS is wrong,” you said, your hand gesturing between the two of you.

“I thought you liked the last couple days,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared at the linoleum tiles on the kitchen floor. He’d be lying if he said his heart wasn’t breaking.

“I did, Ethan! That’s the problem. I don’t want this to end,” you cried, as he pulled you into his arms.

“It doesn’t have to,” he said, kissing the top of your head. “We can make everything work. It’ll be okay.”

“How? There’s no way,” you mumbled into his chest as he soothingly rubbed your back.

“We just have to keep it a secret.”

You hated that idea but knew it was the only option. He stepped back to wipe the stray tears off your cheeks, before leaning down to kiss you.

He started to pull away, but you pulled him back in. Your lips moved so well with his, desperate to go at it again before your mom and Wayne returned home.

“If we’re going to do this, we need to be quick,” he said, pulling his phone out of the pocket of his sweatpants and checking the time. “Dad said they left a little early, so they’ll be here in an hour.”

“Your bed or mine?” you asked, lacing your fingers in his.

“I like yours. It’s more comfortable,” he said, “I should really complain about that.”

“Yeah, then we’d have to explain why you know how nice my bed is,” you laughed, leading him to your room.

He helped you out of your clothes, not wanting to waste a single second of the time you had left. He started to strip, his clothes joining yours in the pile on the floor.

“What do you want, babe?” he asked, his hands running up your sides as you stood in front of him.

“I want to ride you,” you said, his eyes darkening at the thought.

“Since I don’t know how long I’ll have to wait to do it again, can I please eat your pussy first?”

“Please,” you whispered, as he pushed you back on the bed.

His head was between your thighs within seconds, his mouth working its magic. His tongue darted in and out of your dripping core, trying to get every last drop of you.

“Fuck, that feels so good,” you whimpered, your hands running through his hair.

He gripped your thighs as he ate you out, pulling you as close to his face as possible.

His tongue started to focus on your clit, circling it with his tongue before he sucked it into his mouth.

“Oh shit,” you cried out, your grip tightening on his hair. He groaned, the feeling making you arch your back.

You started to move your hips against his tongue as your orgasm began to build, craving that sweet ecstasy. Your brain got foggy as you started to hit your peak. The only thing you could think about was how amazing he was making you feel as you tried to form words.

“I’m gonna-“ was all you got out, before your body started to shake. He slid his tongue back inside your pussy, massaging your fluttering entrance with it.

Ethan loved seeing you like this. The pleasure coursing through your veins and knowing he’s the one that caused it, made his cock throb.

He laid down beside you after he got you through your orgasm. “Come on, baby. Get on top of me.”

You sat up, the tingling feeling in your body fading as you straddled him. Your lips went to his as your pussy rubbed against him. He was gasping at the friction against his erection, but he needed to be inside of you.

“Condom,” he mumbled against your lips.

You sighed as you reached over to the bedside table and grabbed one, making a mental note to put them back under your bed when the two of you were done.

You started to stroke him, a low groan slipping past his lips, before you rolled the condom on him.

You both moaned out when you sank down onto him, before he muttered “So fucking tight.”

His hands went to your hips as you started to move, your pace building up quickly. The palms of your hands were pressed against his chest as you rolled your hips against his. You knew you didn’t have a lot of time left, and you didn’t want to risk getting caught. He watched the way your tits bounced as you rode him, pulling you forward to take one of your nipples in his mouth.

“Fuck,” you whimpered, the position of your hips making it easier for him do drill into your g-spot as his thrusts started to meet yours.

Both of your movements completely stopped though, as you heard heavy footsteps walking past your door.

Ethan’s wide eyes connected with your terrified ones, as Wayne yelled “Ethan, where are you?” from his bedroom a few doors down from yours.

You were frozen in fear as you were still on top of him. “Baby, you gotta get up,” he whispered. You tried to, but it was too late once the doorknob to your room turned, your mom walking in. The smile on her face dropped as she saw you, a look of disgust on her face.

“Get dressed, now,” she said through gritted teeth, your heart pounding in your chest as tears started to form in your eyes.

She walked out, slamming the door behind her. You looked down to see Ethan’s tomato-red face, “Oh my god.”

He wiped your tears away as they slid down your cheeks, “We need to get dressed, baby. You need to get off me.”

You raised your hips as he slid out of you, your body now shaking in your fear. He slid the condom off, throwing it in the wastebasket and quickly putting his clothes on. You heard arguing from the living room as you tried to get dressed, your hands shaking as Ethan came over to help you.

“It’s okay, baby,” he said, pulling your shirt down over your head.

“How the fuck is this okay?” you whispered, as he helped you put your jeans back on.

“Look, I’ll say this was all my fault,” he said, before kissing you for what you felt would be the last time.

“It’s not, though.” Tears flowed down your cheeks as you felt your chest getting tighter.

“Hey, breathe, baby,” he said, pulling you into his chest so he could rub his hands across your back.

You heard footsteps outside of the door again, Wayne yelling, “Ethan, get out here now!”

He pulled away from you, his own anxiety creeping up as he made his way towards the door. The footsteps headed back to the living room as the arguing continued.

You followed Ethan, not wanting him to take the fall for this, even though his eyes pleaded with yours for you to let him.

“Your perverted son took advantage of my daughter!” your mom yelled, anger dripping off her words.

“You said she was on top of him! How do you know it wasn’t the other way around?!” Wayne snapped.

Your mom was about to say something, when she noticed Ethan standing in the doorway, and you right behind him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, you little creep?” she asked, walking towards Ethan.

“Stop!” you screamed at her. She stopped in her tracks, looking you over. You’d never raised your voice at her. “I’m the reason this happened.”

Wayne scoffed in the background as your mother’s face dropped.

“No, you’re not. Stop talking,” Ethan said, as your mom got closer to Ethan, her hand connecting with his face. The sharp slap made your ears ring as Wayne started to yell. “Don’t touch my son!”

“Your son had no problem touching my daughter!” she screamed. “Get out. Both of you.” She said coldly, looking between Ethan and Wayne.

“Mom, please calm down. I know this is bad, but-“ she cut you off before you could finish speaking.

“I don’t even know who you are.”

A sob slipped past your lips as you felt your chest getting tighter again, your panic attack rushing over your body as you struggled to breathe. Ethan turned to look at you. “Hey, it’s okay. Breathe.”

“Don’t you fucking speak to her,” your mom snapped, pulling Ethan away from you. “I never should’ve trusted you alone with her.”

“Stop blaming this all on Ethan! We don’t even know what the story is!” Wayne yelled, as Ethan started to get mad.

“You want to know what the fucking story is? You two got married before you even asked us how we felt about it! I didn’t plan for any of this to happen, she didn’t either,” Ethan yelled, “I wish you two would’ve thought about asking us how we felt about it, because I would’ve told you I hated the idea of living down the hall from the girl I caught feelings for. Having to refer to her as my stepsister makes me feel so fucking sick to my stomach. I hate this!”

Your mom walked over to you, trying to calm you down when she noticed your breathing wasn’t normal. Your vision got hazy as you struggled to take more than shallow breaths. “Hey, Ethan! Help me!” your mom yelled, as you dropped to your knees.

He bolted towards you, lifting you back up to hold you against him as he swayed with you in his arms, trying to calm you down. His arms around you were soothing, as you started to inhale deeper than you were able to seconds before.

Your mom stood there, watching the two of you. She was still mad, but there were other things she and Wayne needed to talk to you about.

“We’re separating,” your mom said, as you pulled your head away from Ethan’s chest. “We did rush into this.”

Wayne’s head nodded as he stared at the floor.

“Why did you go on that trip then?” you asked, your words still shaky as you calmed down.

“We went on the trip to see if there was any way we could make this work. We ended up heading home early because we knew we couldn’t,” Wayne said, as Ethan looked over to him.

“You seemed so happy,” Ethan said, as Wayne chuckled.

“We didn’t want you two to worry. We were going to make things seem normal until you guys went off to school.”

“We were going to tell you when you came home for Thanksgiving,” your mom said, a hint of sadness in her voice. “At this point, I think we should start to think about Wayne and Ethan moving out, as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, I’ll reach out to my friend that’s a realtor in the morning,” Wayne said, still not looking up from the floor.

You stood there next to Ethan, not sure how to feel. Your mom and Ethan’s dad weren’t showing a lot of emotion.

“I think we need to have a conversation,” your mom said to you, gesturing for you to come with her. Your scared eyes met with Ethans before you followed her through the house and out the side door. You both took a seat on the patio chairs, as she took a deep breath. “How long has that been going on?”

“You mean, how long have I had a crush on him? Or what you walked in on?” you asked, your gaze not meeting hers.

“Were you interested in him before you knew I was seeing Wayne?” she asked, smoothing a wrinkle out of her shirt as she spoke.

“Yeah, I’ve liked him for the last couple years,” you admitted, “I’m sorry if I disappointed you.”

“I wish you would’ve told me,” she sighed, “Maybe it would’ve stopped me from making my mistake.”

She let out a small laugh, as you started to feel sad for her. “Mom, why did you get married without talking to me about it?”

“I don’t know, I think I just didn’t want to be alone. Wayne felt the same way. We both had a child going off to college, and our houses were going to be empty. I knew you’d think we were moving too fast.”

You both sat in silence for a few minutes, deep in thought.

“This thing between you and Ethan can’t happen. At least not while he’s in the same house as you,” she finally spoke. “I’m not sure what people will think, but the marriage did only last a few months.”

“Seriously?” you asked, a smile forming on your lips.

“I need to know though, were you being safe with him?” her heart was pounding as she asked the question, hoping your answer would be what she wanted it to be.

“Yes,” you said, as she let out a sigh of relief.

“I know you’re going to be here with him alone while Wayne and I are both working, at least until they get another house. I’m going to ask Wayne if he’d help me put up cameras in the house. Just so I know you aren’t doing things you shouldn’t be,” she said, as you felt the small glint of happiness fade to anger.

“That’s a serious invasion of my privacy,” you said, before she put her hand up.

“I’m not going to put them in the bedrooms or the bathroom. I just want one in the main hallway, one in the living room, and one in the kitchen. I meant what I said earlier when I said I didn’t know who you are,” you heard the disappointment in her voice again.

“This is stupid,” you said, getting up and walking back through the side door.

Ethan was sitting on the couch talking to his dad as you made your way through the house. His eyes were on you, observing the pissed look on your face. When you walked into your room and slammed the door, he had this awful feeling in the pit of his stomach.

That night, Ethan and his dad went to the store to get the cameras. You soon heard the sound of the drill outside of your door as they mounted a camera to the wall in the hallway. You rolled your eyes, irritated at the sound and the privacy you no longer had.

“Hey, I picked up some food,” Wayne said against your door. As pissed as you were, you were still hungry. You opened the door and took the bag from him but noticed Ethan behind him on a ladder with the drill. His shirt raised up a little, showing his toned stomach as he installed the camera. He winked at you when his eyes connected to yours.

“Goodnight,” Wayne said, moving away from the door. You closed it behind him and pulled out your phone to text Ethan.

You: I can’t believe you’re helping with this

A few minutes after the drilling stopped, you got a response from Ethan.

Ethan: Did you forget that I’m good with technology? I have a plan

You smiled as you read it, curious to know what his secret plan was.

#ethan landry #scream smut #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry smut

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

being an adhd person living with an adhd person sometimes means having to come up with interesting solutions to problems

I have a very good medication taking routine, I very rarely miss my morning and night meds, my roommate is not good at this, so my roommate sheepishly asked if I could remind them to take their meds when I take mine

in order to remind myself to do this I have had to keep their medication right next to mine (this is fine I will not mix them up because I am very careful about medications to a slightly excessive degree)

however my roommate is leaving early tomorrow for a work trip, and we forgot to sort out what will be done about their morning medication before they went to bed, I'm currently very sick and have been sleeping in a lot so I might not wake up to an early alarm

I can't leave the meds out in the kitchen with a note because the ✨adhd✨makes the chances of them simply not noticing it very high (also I don't know where my stationary is)

I thought of putting it on top of something they'll take with them but I have no idea what they'll be taking and also their stuff is kind of everywhere because we're both still unpacking from moving house

the solution

I put them in a little pill carrier and sat them on top of the bag of cat biscuits

because if there is one thing they will definitely do before they leave, it's feed the cat, because the cat sure as fuck will not let them forget

I also left the pill box sitting open so they wouldn't just move it out of the way automatically without realising what was in it, thankfully the cat biscuits are kept up high where the cat can't reach and knock the pills over (not that she would try anyway she is exceptionally lazy)

adhd roommates by theory sounds like it should be a disaster (and admittedly when it comes to washing the dishes it is) but it's nice to live with someone who thinks the way you think so we can do little things for each other like this in ways that make sense to us

I'm certain if I were neurotypical I would

A) have left the pills on the counter with a note and incorrectly assumed that would do the job just fine and

B) I'd be able to do that because I would probably know exactly where my stationary is

and to add an extra dash of ✨adhd fuckery✨ while writing this post I just looked up at my pills container and noticed my roommates pills weren't there for tomorrow, and got very confused before remembering I had JUST put them out on the cat food and was also literally in the middle of writing this post about how I put them out on the cat food

no fucking wonder neurotypicals can't figure us out

#lula's life #adhd #adhd fuckery

[ametrictonofaudacity]

Gaps 3

Yandere Platonic Batfam x Mentally Ill/Forgetful Reader

Warning: This is a yandere work, and as such, contains themes of obsession and unhealthy relationships. This particular snippet from Gaps will be an escalation, since this is a series, so trigger warning for kidnapping, non-consensual drugging, obsessive behaviors and manipulation.

There was a half full bottle of psychiatric meds in the glove box of your car. You have absolutely no clue when this got there, buried as it was under your insurance information, registration, and car owners manual, but it was there.

You turn the bottle over in your hands, reading the small label. Prazosin. You were glad to have some extra, in case Bruce hadn’t been able to get your refill this month. He had been good about it, the past couple of months while you waited for your appointment at the DMV, but it was always good to have spares, just in case. And something in your stomach urged you not to rely on the billionaire too much.

You pocket the bottle of pills. Sure, your script had been changed from prazosin to nitrazepam, by Dr. Leslie Thompkins since she was the only person that would treat you without an ID, but you didn’t like how the nitrazepam left you sluggish the next morning. You also didn’t like the thought of just how vulnerable you would be, in such a deep sleep.

Your cell phone rings. You pick up on the first ring, humming.

“(Y/N).” It was Damian. A bit of a surprise, since he didn’t really seek you out, but not an entirely unwelcome one. “You used to have a cat, correct?”

You snort. Of course one of the few times Damian calls you, it was about an animal. You didn’t expect anything less.

“Yeah. I had a Maine Coon kitten for a while before I moved. She was the sweetest little thing too, would always climb onto my shoulders whenever I got home from work.”

“What happened to her?”

“When I moved, I had to give her to my roommate. I visit her whenever I go to Bludhaven.” You explain, beginning your nightly routine. You brush the knots out of your hair, root around for your pajamas, drop two tablets in your hand.

“I see. I’m sorry you had to leave her behind.”

You smile, glancing at the time. The two tablets go down easy, and you double and triple check your locks. In Gotham, it didn’t hurt to be vigilant.

“It’s not a problem. I do have work tomorrow, so I’m gonna turn in, okay?”

“Of course. Get some rest, (Y/N).” He says it like it’s practically a demand, and you laugh when the line goes dead.

You drift off to sleep, eventually, your limbs heavy and numb.

——————

Your woken up by the sound of your bedroom door creaking open. Your heart stops, before thundering in your chest, slamming fast against your ribs.

Your mind races, and you force yourself to breath slow and deep, feigning sleep. The average thief wouldn’t bother to kill a sleeping person, but who knew what would happen if they thought there were witnesses. Carefully, you shift, making sure the movement looked to be the shifting of a sleeping body.

There’s a sound of crackling above you, and you don’t know what that means before the intruder speaks.

“You sure you got the dosage right? They’re moving around a lot for someone who’s sedated.” A modulated voice, indistinguishable thanks to the static. Your stomach drops, and it takes everything you have not to stiffen in terror. No average thief would have a fucking voice modulator. And what did they mean, the dosage? What the fuck did they mean?

Your fingers close around the handle of the small folding knife you kept under your pillow.

“It’s not full sedation. They’ll sleep deeply enough that we can move freely, but too high of a dosage would cause issues.” A low, gravelly voice and you feel your breath hitch. Both voices go quiet.

You hear a soft rattle as a pill bottle is picked up. Your heart hammers in your throat. You can’t remember which bottle of meds was by your bedside.

“Didn’t you get them put on nitrazepam?”

“Yes.”

“Old man, this isn’t nitrazepam. It’s an old script of prazosin.”

Silence. Deafening silence. Your eyes snap open.

You don’t even give yourself time to process the fact that there were two of Gotham’s vigilantes in your room. You don’t give yourself time to panic, or feel betrayed, because if you do, you won’t stop. You’ll be frozen and defenseless and unable to do anything.

You lunge up, throwing the blankets off yourself, and you try to twist away when the goddamn Red Hood lunges to catch you, only for his arm to wrap around your waist, yanking you back. The small fold out knife clatters to the ground, and a hand wraps around your wrist.

“Why don’t we all just cool off, yeah? No more stabbing attempts.” He sounds almost amused, but there’s an edge of danger in his voice that makes you shudder. He releases you, and you stagger away from him.

Batman hovers in the corner of the room, and even though he is the furthest from you, he feels so much closer.

“You got my script changed. Why?” Your voice is trembling, and you grimace. You don’t like the way you sound far too vulnerable.

“The old man is paranoid as hell, that’s why.” Hood grumbles, crossing his arms. He leans back, giving you space, and even though you know you aren’t any safer, you appreciate it.

“Hood. Now is not the time.” Batman growls, and Hood snorts.

“When would be the time old man? We would have avoided all of this if we had just gone with my plan.” Hood points out. You have no idea what he means.

“They weren’t ready.” Batman snaps, and you don’t know what that means. “This isn’t the place for this discussion, Hood.”

He turns to you, and for a moment, hesitates. The moment passes, and he lifts his hands, tugging back his cowl.

You stare. Staring back at you with intense blue eyes is Bruce Wayne.

So many things click in your mind. The inexplicable cancelling of your appointments. The paranoia. The way you had been struggling to work past the constant fear you were being watched. The way your things went missing when you needed them.

“(Y/N), I know you’re confused right now. Just let me explain.” Bruce says gently, and you shake your head, backing up.

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say right now. You.. how long have you been breaking into my apartment? How long have you been using my meds to do it? And why?!”

“(Y/N), you barely manage to function on a day to day basis. I was just insuring your safety.”

“My safety?! Arguably I would be even more vulnerable SEDATED in an apartment in Gotham? Why do you think I check my locks so often? Why I have lists, of every possible thing I could need? I KNOW how to take care of myself, but clearly I made some sort of mistake when met all of you!” You shriek, and there are hot, ugly tears streaming down your face.

You didn’t need this, you didn’t need him, and you certainly did not need him pulling the strings on your life.

“Alright, you clearly can’t handle this old man.” Hood turns to you, arms crossed. “Listen, I get it. Batman’s a controlling, manipulative bastard. But we aren’t having this discussion here.”

You yell when his hand closes around your arm, and raise your hand to slap him away. He tugs you forward, twisting your arm behind your back and holding it there, and you yell.

A sharp pain in your neck, and your vision blurs.

You feel your knees buckle, feel yourself start to sag.

Gloved hands hold you up, and your head spins. Armored arms scoop you up, and you push at the thick Kevlar.

The last thing you see before unconsciousness takes you is white lenses staring down.

#yandere x reader #yandere dc #yandere platonic x reader #yandere platonic batfam

[ateliersss]

Call of Duty

...is part of The Bookshelf.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

Keep You Close Summary: He's pretty sure he's in love with you. Not that he'll admit it, acknowledge it.

Fresh Ink (Series) Summary: You become Ghost’s artist and therapist in a way.

Polaroid Summary: You find a polaroid of yourself in Ghost’s vest.

When I Was Your Man Summary: Ghost regrets breaking up with you after seeing you again.

Little Lady, Big Guns Summary: A new weapons developer catches the eye of many, especially one balaclava wilding man.

Only One Boundary Summary: When it comes to his body, Simon is all ears for anything to do for you. However, he only has one boundary that he’s hesitant to compromise with now.

An Old Siren Song Summary: You're injuried on a mission early in you and ghost careers' and it affects him even 6 years later.

Lonely Summary: After Simon had left for his next mission, you were faced with the biggest challenge of your life and you had to get through that all by yourself.

Faking Summary: As the mission goes on, you are forced to fake your death, hurting the man you love most.

Fell Into You (Series) Summary: Ghost isn’t looking for anything and neither are you. But when a mission goes wrong, throwing you two together, where will things go from here?

The Little Things Summary: Five times Soap questions the relationship between Ghost and the 141’s Medic, and the one time he gets an answer.

Little Treasures, Life's Pleasures Summary: Now that Soap knows when to pay attention, he realizes you and Ghost aren’t as subtle as you think you are.

Life's Little Comforts Summary: Soap finally gets a better glimpse into your relationship with the Lieutenant- even if it’s not the way he wants.

Our Little Secret Summary: Soap finally gets all of his answers- and then some.

Interrupted Part 1, Part 2 Summary: When your make-out session gets interrupted, you shield Simon's face with your hands.

Zombie!Ghost Summary: Simon is dead. And you were forced to leave him behind as the rise of the dead took over. When you volunteer to sneak back into base to grab med supplies, you don't expect to run into Simon—alive, but certainly not himself...

Hate You Summary: Ghost seemed to despise you, making a mission you have to do together much tenser than it ever had to be…

Cat Got Your Tongue? Summary: Ghost thought you hated him, but he had no idea why. He didn't remember ever doing anything to cross you. When you're stuck doing a mission alongside him, he gets curious enough to finally ask.

Bad Day Summary: After a bad mission, Simon comes back and takes his pain out on you.

To Be Alive In Summer Summary: Betrayal had never been in your cards, and you definitely didn't see yourself being the one responsible for the act. When having to go undercover, first comes the problem of staging your death.

If You Bite My Hand Again Summary: How dare he show his face to you after all of these years? How dare you still find it in yourself to love him?

Untitled Summary: You, a civilian, kills someone out of self defense for the first time.

'Til It Ends Part 1, Part 2 Summary: You thought that it would be easy - moving on and blazing your own trail, but at every step, memories seem to come back and haunt you. And the biggest memory takes the shape of a man with a skull mask. Can you still deny what you had always felt when he stands at your side once more?

Simon "Ghost" Riley who protects you from your creepy neighbor

Simon "Ghost" Riley accidentally yelling at you Headcanon

Being Yelled At By Ghost Part 1, Part 2

Confessions

Sleepless Night

Don't Make A Habit Of Dying

Call Sign

Kindergarten Troubles Part 1, Part 2

Imagine going to sleep as 09 Ghost’s widow only to wake up next to reboot Ghost Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Captain John Price

The Traces He Left Behind Summary: You had never expected the dog tags to be so heavy, but, now, as they sit in your hands they’re just about the heaviest object you’ve ever held. M.I.A doesn’t mean John’s dead… but it might as well.

Baby Blues Summary: The promise of a normal Sunday is lost when your door is torn open, and, you, kidnaped. All you can do is pray that John finds you in time.

Let Me Lean On You Summary: You have a bad habit of putting yourself in harm’s way, enraging John to no end. But can you survive a wound like this? Or will everything you hate to love about John Price never see the light of day?

First Kiss Summary: It makes you want to laugh, it’s not how you’d envisioned your first kiss would go; you had hoped it would be romantic or passionate. Instead it was desperate battle of trying to breathe life back into John without ever having told him about your feelings.

Our Remains Summary: You disliked hiding things from John. Certainly something as big as this.

Cheating Heart Summary: Your feeling for John were wrong - horribly wrong - but when you see your current boyfriend in bed with another woman, what's to hold you back anymore?

See No Evil Summary: The flowers came every week - Tuesday, two O’clock, two minutes after your break. The only problem was that you knew they weren’t coming from John.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Shaky Fingers Summary: The perfect date night begins with a stolen wallet and a goose chase.

Reveries Of A Lost Lamb Summary: Tempers flare when it hits the seven-day mark. Could they all be sure you were even still alive?

Gossamer Silk Smiles Summary: You loved your job more than anything, and at the end of the day, even with pricked fingers and cramped muscles, you went to bed happy. It had all been going well, insanely well. You were focused; self-assured... Until he showed up. 

A Little Small Talk, A Smile, And Baby I Was Stuck Summary: When Soap mentions the new medic, Gaz doesn’t think much of it. 

Keegan P. Russ

(Don't) Go To War Summary: Some days it became impossible not to lose your tempers with each other. Being enemies was easier than admitting you cared.

First Strike Summary: Keegan had always captured your attention. You've found out that maybe that's the best and worst thing to happen to you.

König

The Invisible String Theory Summary: You didn't expect the man who gave you his coat to be the same one to bust down the door where you and the other women slept - sniper hood scaring everyone within an inch of their life. You didn't expect him to become so important to you, either.

Moths Hit The Window Summary: Fights with König were always loud, but this time his comments went a bit too far.

Overflow The Stars Summary: One more abandoned date night later, you're left wondering if the man you're infatuated with is really interested in you at all.

Vladimir Makarov

The Great War Summary: Deadly, fast and a killing machine. Soldier was trained as a recon sniper and has been trained by allied forces as an insertion specialist. SAS has recognised this soldier as a necessity for most of its joint operations. Decorated with high awards and recognition by all military forces. TF 141 acquired soldier after a mission in Al Mazrah. Capable of killing all those that come between her and the goal, will not hesitate to harm enemies.

No Title Summary: You have an encounter with a creepy guy.

No Title Summary: You are pregnant with Makarov's child and someone is stupid enough to mess with you.

Valeria Garza

Back When I Loved You Summary: It's been years since you had been stationed in Las Almas, returning opens some old wounds you hadn't realized never healed.

Valeria Garza

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #modern warfare #simon ghost riley x you #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley x reader #vladimir makarov x you #vladimir makarov x reader #captain john price x you #captain john price x reader #john price x reader #john price x you #valeria garza x reader #valeria garza x you #phillip graves x reader #phillip graves x you #könig x reader #könig x you

[flowery-mess]

Noah dating girl with atopic eczema

Soo I know this is very specific and probably not everyone is gonna relate, but as someone struggling with this condition and having big flare up this last month, I wanted to share this with you. It is important to me that this condition is spoken about, so feel free to slide in my inbox or message me if you want to talk about it.💗

*Atopic eczema is a condition that causes dry, itchy and inflamed skin. It is long lasting (chronic) condition and tends to flare sometimes. It is not contagious. The cause is unknown and there is no cure for it, only treatments that can make ot easier to lice with it.*

Noah learned about this condition when he met you.

You are used to living with it by now, but for Noah it's something new.

He sees it as any other condition and takes it very seriously.

He reads about it, because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable by asking questions.

When you two met and it became more serious, you were scared that it will throw him off.

It's not contagious, but lots of people don't know that.

And because of that you get lot of stares and sometimes ugly comments.

When you started dating you were using your creams to make it better, but you HATE those oily creams, so you use them usually only when you know you will be in public and your skin will be seen.

As you two got closer you felt confident enough to tell him about it.

He was surprised, but just because he didn't notice it.

His reaction was very neutral, because he didn't see it as a problem, as you were scared he would.

Which was relief for you.

You stopped using your creams daily and it started showing more and more.

Noah asked some questions, mostly about how can he help, if it hurts when he touches you or if you want him to apply your creams for you.

Which was honestly one of your favorite things, him putting cream on your back and giving you a little massage along with it.

Those creams weren't so bad sinxe Noah started applying them.

But you have your ups and downs with this condition.

When it's really bad, it hurts.

It hurts like burns, and they're all over your body.

Noah makes sure you have water and your meds that help with the itching on your bed table.

He noticed that you're scratching yourself even in sleep, so he gave you one of his longsleeve t-shirts to avoid scratching yourself to blood.

He also started taking showers with you daily, because he noticed you always come out all bloody and bruised and the bathroom is like a fucking sauna.

That's because hot water triggers your skin, but it also feels really nice on your skin in the moment. But you're left with bloody hands and red skin afterwards.

So he showers with you to make sure you use warm water, not boiling hot water.

If you mention that some food or shampoo or washing powder triggers your eczema, you bet he will throw it out immediately and will look up options that are safe for sensitive skin.

When it's really bad and it effects you mentally (because it does) he showers you with love and cuddles.

He hates when it makes you cry.

Or when he sees you looking at your skin in the mirror with those sad eyes.

But what he hates the most is when you come home, obviously sad and he has to get it out of you, that someone at work said nasty comment towards your condition.

His heart aches when he sees you in long sleeved clothes almost every time you two leave the house.

It's not that you're ashamed of eczema, but you want to avoid those looks you get from strangers.

He also hates seeing you in long sleeved clothes at the band's concerts. Those venues get real hot really quick and he knows you're hot even if you say you're fine.

He makes sure to point out if your skin get's even a little bit better and he's all happy about it.

He helps you look for doctors that specialize in those conditions.

And he makes sure to attend every appointment with you, if you want him there.

He also uses it as a reason to go on vacations by the sea for a longer period than is usual, because sea helps with eczema.

Overall he helps you with everything, he helps build the confidence you lost because of this condition and he loves you unconditionally.

Remember that conditions like this don't definw you and you are beautiful and loved!💗

#noah sebastian #bad omens #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens imagine #noah sebastian band #bad omens band #bad omens cult #atopic dermatitis

[bratzforchris]

can you do a request where the reader struggled with depression/anxiety and Ashton is there to help her ? he’s there to comfort her through it all :)

I'll Take Care of It

❃

Summary: Above

Pairing: Ashton x feminine reader

Warnings: Depression, anxiety, talks of medication and sh

Word Count: 819

A/N: I hope you love it! Supportive boyfriend Ashton is so lovable and snuggly :)

❃

You sighed, pulling the comforter over your head. Today was just one of your blue days. Nothing seemed to be enjoyable enough to pull you out of bed and your bad thoughts were running wild in your brain, making you doubt yourself and your relationship.

You had struggled with anxiety and depression since you were thirteen. You had good days and bad days just like any other human, but when you had bad days, absolutely nothing got done.

Downstairs, Ashton was practicing his drums, rehearsing for tour later this month. You longed to go to him, to just sit on his lap and cry until you felt all better, but you knew you couldn't. He was so busy and stressed lately that it would be unfair of you to burden him with your problems too.

And so, you wallowed alone in your misery. You had always been a late sleeper, so Ash wouldn't see anything suspicious about it being just gone ten and you weren't up yet. Sleep wouldn't seem to come to you, though.

The longer you laid in bed, the guiltier you felt. You had strayed off your anti-anxiety and anti-depressants lately because they made you feel so blah. You wren't happy when you took the medicine; the pills took away the things that made you you. Ashton didn't know this, however. You knew he would scold you about your health if you told him.

You sighed, rolling onto your back and running your thumb gently over your scarred forearm. You had stopped self-harming since being with Ashton, but sometimes you wondered if it would help at all to get a break from the immense emotional pain you experienced for seemingly no reason.

Deep in thought, you barely heard your boyfriend enter the bedroom quietly, his footsteps muted by the plush carpet.

"I'm awake..." You whispered softly, hoping Ashton could hear you since your voice was muffled by the blankets.

"Oh! Good morning then, love!" he said cheerfully, going to open the blinds. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"You didn't." You sighed.

"Something wrong?" Ashton asked, looking up from putting away his laundry. "You're awfully quiet."

You stayed silent. You didn't know how to answer Ash's question. "I'm fine. Just tired." You said eventually.

Ashton paused his laundry and walked over to your shared bed, sitting down beside you. He had been with you long enough to notice your moods and when you were slipping into a more depressed state. "Would you like a hug?"

You nodded, peeking your head out from the covers. You could feel tears pooling in your eyes, and you tried your best to keep them at bay. Ash immediately wrapped you in a hug, holding you in his strong arms.

"I know when something's wrong." he hummed quietly, chin resting atop your head.

"I just..." You trailed off, sniffling against his chest.

Ashton didn't urge you to speak. Instead, he simply ran a hand up and down your back until you were ready to talk again.

"I've just been feeling anxious and depressed lately and I don't know why." You huffed.

"Oh sweetie," he cooed. "It's okay to not know why. We all have feelings and sometimes we can't understand why we have to go through misery and hurt."

"There's no explanation." You began to cry again. "I have a perfect life. I'm dating you, my writing has been going well, I'm not struggling."

"And sometimes there won't be an explanation," Ashton said softly. "All you can do is try your best to make it through and that's exactly what you're doing."

You sniffled against his chest once more before quietly speaking. "I haven't been taking my meds either..."

Your boyfriend was quiet for a moment as he thought up a response. "Well, I know how much you hate taking them; I would never want you to be miserable. But I do want you to get the help you need." he said softly.

You shrugged against his chest. "Maybe I should talk to the psychiatrist again..."

"That's a good idea," Ashton said gently. "They can help you get the correct things you need without hurting you."

You didn't know what else to say, so you simply snuggled yourself further into Ashton's chest, burrowing in his strong, muscular arms. You two stayed like that for quite some time, with Ashton rocking you gently and mumbling soft things to you.

Eventually, the honey-blond spoke. "Would you like some breakfast, lovely?"

You nodded your head. Despite being rather anxious, you were still pretty hungry. Besides, Saturdays were your and Ashton's "pancake days".

Ash smiled, helping you up and into one of his big hoodies. Once you were ready, he helped you downstairs and to the kitchen, smiling as he sat you down with a warm cup of coffee.

"You just sit here and relax," he cooed, kissing your cheek. "I'll take care of it."

#ashton irwin #ashton 5sos #fanfic #5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum hood #luke 5sos #michael clifford #luke hemmings #5sos fam #5sos fanfic #5sos imagine #5sos blurb #5sos fic #5sos hq #5sos moodboard #5sos smut #5sos x reader #calum 5sos #5sosfam #michael 5sos #5sos x you #ashton irwin x reader #ashton irwin x y/n #luke hemmings x reader #calum hood x reader #michael clifford x reader

[ominoose]

𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫-𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞

Summary: Random drabble's about Steven Grant meeting other Oscar Isaac characters. No Marc or Jake co-concious, only referenced. Characters: Basil Stitt, Leto Atreides, Poe Dameron A/N: This randomly hit me and I wanted to write it because it was funny. Used a spinny wheel for it. Also idk if BB-8 can do that but now he can.

London was it's usual muggy, busy self as Steven ran down the street, hoping to catch the bus to work. It had been hard enough to get a job after the Museum Incident, but maintaining a position was proving to be a much harder endeavor between his abnormal sleeping patterns and head mates.

"Oi! Wait, please!" Steven was within touching distance just as the bus sped off, and at the lack of anything to rest his weight on or break his fall, the man found himself tumbling face first into traffic.

☽ 𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥 𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐭 (Lightningface)

+ When Steven first wakes up in the apartment, his first thought is that he's woken up in a bomb site. The apartment is a mess, furniture and clothes strewn everywhere haphazardly. He's momentarily glad Marc isn't replying in his head, knowing the American would have an aneurysm over the state of the place.

+ Basil is the one to find Steven, jumping up from his spot on the couch and staring at him like he's an alien. The first thought in his mind is that Ricky the Monkey did some crazy magic and brought a clone to replace him. Poor Steven barely has a chance to process the situation before he's trying to calm his scarred, other American look alike down and explain his situation. Nothing manages to convince Basil there isn't some magic going on here, but he stops viewing Steven as an evil replacement.

+ After the initial shock and awkward introductions, they manage to sit down and chat for a few minutes. Basil shares the story of the lightning strike, insisting that its imbued him with magical powers. Steven, bless his heart, immediately believes this and boasts about his own moon powers too.

"You know, I've always wanted to try jumping off the roof and flying, have you done that?"

"Oh no, my mate Marc usually handles that, but maybe we can practice together? Have you got a suit as well?"

"Yeah, it's this paper bag and bed sheet I fixed up myself! C'mon, I have a stool on the balcony-"

"Wait, hang about.... Actually, mate, on second thoughts, lets not."

+ Steven ends up convincing Basil to properly fix his apartment, not just brush away the broken shards and dust. So that's what they do for a while, busying themselves as they theorize on how to get Steven back home with only a handful of brain cells between them. Basil listens with surprising intensity when Steven ends up branching off into Egyptology tangents, and likewise Steven nods along when Basil brings up all the documentaries he'd watched recently. In the end, the apartment does end up in much better shape, and the pair become quite chummy.

"Damn. Thanks for the help... Maybe I did overreact a bit."

"Yeah, it's no problem bruvs, it happens. Surprised the doctors didn't give you anymore meds, though I suppose over here its not like the NHS."

"Oh, no I didn't go to the hospital."

"...You wot?!"

𝐋𝐞𝐭𝐨 𝐀𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 (Dune)

+ Coming to on hot, sandy slabs is enough of a trigger point to Steven Grant as they come. Coming to on hot, sandy slabs with weird astronauts in suits pointing space guns at him goes beyond frighting and circles back into 'Shit yourself' territory. Thankfully they seem to speak English. Unfortunately, his high pitched screams and babbling British noises don't make sense to them while they peer down their guns at him with confusion. It isn't until a booming voice draws everyone's attention that Steven gets a chance to breath.

+ Said breath is swiftly knocked back out of Stevens lungs when a wiser, nobler and older version of him walks into the room, commanding the attention of every single space soldier in the room. The man stares down at him as he lays huddled on the ground, curled into himself, and quirks a single well groomed eyebrow at him.

"I am Duke Leto of House Atreides. You have penetrated your way into my home. Who are you?"

"I-I-I'm S-Steven Grant. Of the... Giftshop."

The Duke continues his stony stare at Steven for a few seconds longer before holding out a calloused hand.

"Well Steven of the Giftshop, I think we both have many questions for one another, and hopefully some answers."

+ When Steven finally gets over being starstruck at the dignified, royal version of himself, and when Leto makes the accidental mistake of mentioning that they're billions of years in the future on another planet, Steven freaks out, having a 10 minute long panic attack. When that's over he geeks out instead, asking a million questions about technology, using apologies as commas and full stops.

"Do people still know about Khonshu in this era?!"

"I'm afraid I am not familiar with that name."

"Lucky sod."

+ Leto thinks the strange, weird sounding clone of himself is a schizophrenic long lost cousin, but at lease he isn't trying to kill him over a title. It's not as common in Arrakis, or the general noble courts, to find someone as earnest, honest and willing to learn as Steven seems to be, which earns him a surprising amount of respect from the Duke.

𝐏𝐨𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 (Star Wars)

+ Waking up in a space ship that's doing somersaults mid-battle while dodging and weaving around beams trying to explode it out of the sky was almost as stressful as waking up on a London bus at 8am. Commendably, Steven didn't scream or cry, but simply had a silent panic attack until a rolling white and orange ball started beeping at him, or rather the ridiculously handsome version of him currently flying the plane.

"Who the hell are you and how did you get on my cruiser?!"

"Bloody hell, not another handsome American me!"

"What?! BB-8, check for a concussion!"

+ After being given a water bottle by the polite little droid, Steven finally managed to calm himself down by the time the ship touch down and the pilot in matching droid colours sprang before him, launching question after question. When he clocked Stevens face, he was speechless, brows slowly knitting over his eyes as he tried to make sense of what was in front of him. Mid stare-down BB-8 nicked the Brits skin, running a quick diagnostic test and beeping the results out to the pilot who's eyebrows swiftly un-knitted at the noises.

+ Taking advantage of the silence, Steven tries to explain himself and his situation, insisting he comes in peace and simply wanted to get home before Donna got another excuse to give him the sack. The pilot finally introduced himself as Poe, the best pilot in the resistance at that, and with a sigh he promised to try and figure out how to get Steven back to whatever galaxy London was from.

+ Poe tries to explain the resistance and the empire to Steven, who in turn compares it to Ammits cult and jointly rants about those who take choice and freedom from the innocent. Poe is happy enough that his weird blood ancestor is with the resistance, even if he does constantly regard him with a quirked eyebrow, wondering how in the universe he managed to evolve from this walking concussion. For a second time Poe is rendered silent as Steven mentions being Moonknight.

"Oh yeah, I've done that too, at least those Jedi blokes doesn't send their jackals after you though!"

"You've... fought? In battle?"

"Course, yeah. Fought off giant gods back to the underworld, stopped the day of reckoning as the souls of the living were flooding the underworld. It was just the other day actually."

"...You killed god?!"

+ Steven absolutely adores BB-8 and Leia, a feeling the bot and all of the resistance seem to happily return, much to the dismay of Poe. Steven's quite flustered from all the attention and questions, leaving Poe to drag him away in a huff, claiming they need to get back to figuring out how to send him home. It feels like a babysitting gig more than anything, but deep down it strokes Poe's ego when Steven ooh's and ahh's at all his resistance tales.

#steven grant #leto atreides #poe dameron #basil stitt #oscar isaac #omiwrites

[scarletts-scribbles]

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭

Hey! Here's a compiled list of prompts for people to use, feel free to submit any of these for requests or to use in your own writing. I didn't come up with all of these myself so check out the credited creators! Requests are not limited to these prompts, feel free to think of your own or change these up!

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 «» 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬: 𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧

: ̗̀➛ 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟

“I��d rather sit and do nothing with you than do anything with anyone else.”

“Would a hug make things better?”

"You wanna cuddle for the rest of the morning?"

"Just hold me?"

"You're being extra cuddly this morning."

"Quiet night on the couch?"

“You make me want to be the best I can be.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that you like to be the little spoon.”

“Do I really have to spell it out for you?”

“You look really cute in my clothes.”

“You’re special. People like you don’t come around often.”

“I’ve only ever loved you.”

"You're hogging the blankets."

"May I have this dance?"

“Are you blushing?! That’s adorable.”

“Breathtaking. You’re breathtaking.”

“You should smile more often, it looks good on you.”

“Did you just kiss me to shut me up?”

“Should we make it official?”

“Can you wash my hair for me?” 

"You're crazy if you think I'm letting you sleep on the couch."

"Can I braid your hair?"

"I'm not giving up on you, ever. I promise you.”

“You’re being very unsubtle with your heart eyes for them.” 

“I’m proud of you, no matter what.”

"You're the worst, I love you so much."

"You got me flowers?"

: ̗̀➛ 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭

“Did you ever really love me?”

"Why did you come back?"

“You couldn’t just let me have this, could you?”

“Just because you hate your life doesn’t mine to get to dictate mine!”

“Look what you’ve done…”

"You promised you wouldn’t forget me."

“I don’t have an attitude, I just answered your question.”

“Please say something!”

"I get it! You're jealous!"

“Us? There was never an ‘us’.”

“Is this how it really ends?”

“Why can’t you be happy for me for once?”

“It’s too late for ‘I’m sorries’.”

"I thought I'd lost you forever."

“Ha… I told you you’d outlive me.” 

“Since when did you ever care about me?!”

“Tell me how I’m supposed to un-love you, then. Tell me. Spare me.” 

“Kiss me one last time?

“Why did you think you could change this?! You’re nothing!”

“This is all your fault.”

“I vouched for you! How could you?!"

"God, how blind can you be?"

“You’re either a fool for not knowing or an idiot for not doing something!”

: ̗̀➛ 𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭/𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭

“Shut up and just let me take care of you!”

“Either go to bed and get some rest willingly, or I will drag your ass down the hall kicking and screaming. you know i’ll have no problem with either option.”

"How long have you been hiding this?"

“And just when were you planning to tell me you were sick?"

“Please be okay. Please be okay, please be okay—”

“You’re awfully quiet today.”

“Get behind me.”

“Here, lean on me. I can carry you.”

“Hey! Hey, relax it was just a nightmare, I’m right here.”

“You dumbass. Don’t do that. Ever again.”

“Try and get some sleep. I’ll stay right here- I won’t let anything happen to you, I swear.”

“We’re gonna fix you up, brand new. I promise.”

“Bless you! Jesus that nearly gave me a heart attack, how about a little warning next time?”

“Your hands are freezing! come here, let me warm you up.”

“Show me?”

“Your bedside manner is awful.”

“Your not exactly a good patient.”

"Did you eat something bad?"

“Would you like a heating pad?”

“I think I just started my period…”

“Oh darling, this fever, you’re totally burning up.”

“You can sleep in my bed, if it'd be of any help.”

"How many fingers am I holding up? ... I don't have six fingers."

“What the hell happened to you?”

“Did you remember to take your meds this morning?”

“Don’t be stupid, now sit down before you pass out.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Stay?”

“Who did this to you?”

“You’re not fine! You’re bleeding for gods sake!”

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭

"I want to taste you so badly." 

"Make me beg for it." 

"Oh I can do this all night long." 

"Be a good girl and use your words darling." 

"You surprise me every day." 

"Let's find out how much you want it." 

"Kiss me, I can't wait any longer." 

"Come on, please, do it." 

“Don’t worry, I’d take you out for dinner before I eat you out for dessert. It’s the polite thing to do.”  

"Do you like it when I talk like that?" 

"Oh, you like that?" 

"Hmm, you're not very patient, are you?" 

"Well, let's see what happens tonight." 

“I’ll be gentle, baby.  Don’t worry.” 

"Can you kiss it better?" 

"Keep the noise down, baby.  Someone's gonna walk in." 

“God, you look amazing like this.” 

"Let’s put that smart mouth to good use.” 

"Oh, you're hard to please." 

"I had a very nice dream that started like this." 

"Can you be good for me?" 

"It's so hot when you talk like that." 

"I'll go as long as you need." 

prompt sources: @.scealaiscoite, @.sleepywriter00, @.dumplingsjinson, @.euthymiaaa, @.novelbear, @.luvmmarner, @.promptsbytaurie, @.creativepromptsforwriting, @.rosewritingprompts

#prompt list #prompts #fluff prompts #angst prompts #smut prompts #hurt/comfort prompts #requests #mcu #supergirl

[c-ptsdrecovery]

I've been meaning to make this post for months, but I'm lazy :P

This year, I got diagnosed with bipolar 2, and going on mood stabilizers has been LIFE-CHANGING. (In the way they always told me going on antidepressants would be, only it wasn't.) I have discovered that I had a lot of (common) misconceptions about what bipolar disorder was like, which was why I struggled for at least 15 years with it and didn't get diagnosed until now. So I wanted to share a little bit about what I've learned about what bipolar disorder is REALLY like, in the hopes that other people in the same boat as me might recognize their own symptoms.

Disclaimers: I am not a mental health professional or an expert in bipolar disorder, and this is drawn from my personal experiences, which may be different from what another person with bipolar experiences.

--There are different levels of depression and of mania. Low mania, for instance, is called hypomania. While people with Bipolar 1 experience a range of emotions from mania to depression, people with Bipolar 2 experience mostly depression with occasional hypomania.

--People have a very extreme and stereotyped idea of what mania looks like, so it can be harder to recognize hypomania in particular. Things that mania/hypomania can look like:

anxiety

restlessness

insomnia

constant fidgeting

huge excitement or joy

intense creativity

intense sensory experience (colors are brighter, handsoap smells AMAZING, etc)

rage

less inhibited behavior

more spending

more risky behavior

feeling like you're finally yourself for the first time in years

--You will notice in that list that manic doesn't just mean happy. Mania is a high-energy state. That can mean high-energy happiness, high-energy anger, high-energy anxiety, etc. Depression is the low-energy side of the equation.

--You don't have to be JUST manic or JUST depressed. It's very common to have "mixed episodes" where you are both at one time. I was diagnosed years ago with "anxiety and depression"--and it turns out that that was probably actually a bipolar mixed state. A lot of people with classic depression talk about having no energy, having trouble getting out of bed, etc, but I always had the kind of depression where I felt despairing but also high-energy. I was restless and anxious--and sometimes had bursts of happiness and enjoyment in the middle and then went back to being depressed again.

--Bipolar can feel like mood swings. Your moods are intense and they can change quickly. I have had a psychiatrist tell me that you know it's bipolar when your mood changes for no reason. This may be true for some people, but for me, I could almost always attribute my mood change to SOMETHING. "I feel bad because of that thing somebody said to me" or "I feel bad because I'm lonely" or "I feel anxious because my stomach is upset". So that wasn't a helpful indicator for me, but the presence of the mood swings was. Some people also try to say that you have to be in a manic or depressive state for a certain number of days in order to qualify as bipolar--but if you're having mixed episodes like I was, all bets are off as to how long a mood is going to last.

--It's very common for people with bipolar disorder to have sleep problems: sleeping too much, sleeping too little, or both. I go right to sleep at bedtime, but then I wake up in the middle of the night, lie awake for an hour, and then go back to sleep. I have done this regularly for literally 15 years.

--A really good sign of having bipolar disorder is if trying a new antidepressant makes you manic/hypomanic. This doesn't always happen to people with bipolar disorder trying an antidepressant, but it certainly can.

My experience with antidepressants is that sometimes they seemed to work a bit for awhile, but in the long run, they really didn't work. One antidepressant that I tried made me FURIOUSLY ANGRY, so much so that it scared me and I had to get off the med after a week (the rage was a hypomanic state). One antidepressant that I tried made me so unbearably anxious that I took it ONCE and never again (that anxiety was also a hypomanic state). I took an antidepressant once that worked PERFECTLY for two months, and then suddenly stopped, and never worked again (happy hypomania, mood-swinging back to depressed again). What finally tipped us off that my problem was bipolar disorder was when I tried a new antidepressant and it made me feel AMAZING and then it wore off and I got super-depressed again... and then we raised the dose and I felt AMAZING and then it wore off, and... Meanwhile, I was happier than I had ever been before, I started a new hobby of collecting bonkers earrings, I started dressing in eye-burning rainbow colors, I was far more confident than I had ever been, I spent more (not way too much, but more) than usual... That is the kind of hypomanic/manic state that most people recognize as such, which is how I finally got diagnosed.

I will add on tomorrow or so with some stories about episodes that I recognize in retrospect were from my bipolar disorder, but I don't want to make this post longer than it already is! I will just add: If any of this sounds like you, I strongly encourage you to talk to a doctor about trying mood stabilizers. Maybe they won't do anything for you--but then at least you'll KNOW. I have a sneaking suspicion that just like C-PTSD is wildly underdiagnosed, bipolar disorder probably is, too.

#bipolar disorder #mental health #depression #anxiety #anger

[edutainer2022]

In commemoration of that time, recently, when I delivered a conference keynote in a ridiculous o'clock timezone, after having been up and neck deep in other energy draining university commitments for three days straight on four hours of sleep at best, here's a little thing. I couldn't remember what I was talking about the minute the presentation ended. Scott Tracy is a public speaker extraordinaire on bingo sleep and adrenaline overdose. His brothers are worried and have to think on their feet. Special thanks to @astranite for nudging my muse in this direction.

AUTOPILOT

The trick was to get him off the stage. Scott Tracy, the Tracy Industries CEO, giving an opening keynote at the New Frontiers Expo had been scheduled a year in advance (involving the program committee begging on hands and knees for a year prior, Scott's annual commitments shuffling, some major security concessions, up to and including Kayo's team practically taking over the venue security altogether, as well as meeting a hard line of excluding any tech associated with Langstrom Fischler from the exhibits or conference talks).

Nobody could predict a mine collapse and Scott Tracy, the Commander of IR and Thunderbird One, being involved on site for the past thirty six hours (a good portion of that time spent underground without sleep).

The family medics' quorum, in full agreement with the family extended quorum, voted for canceling his public appearance and putting him on mandated rest. For a week. But Scott Tracy gave his word. So Scott Tracy gave his talk.

As keynotes go it was a huge success. Scott was passionate, funny and inspired, engaging the audience with dimples, moving personal touches and heartfelt convictions. The listeners were just about ready to "boldly go" wherever Scott would lead the way to a better, technologically enhanced and kinder tomorrow.

They divided forces in case the predictable worse actually came to pass. Virgil was behind the podium with a med kit and med scanner at hand. Gordon unironically got a tranq gun, which earned him a side-eye, but knowing Scott it might as well come handy.

John was in the audience, vigilant and listening to the keynote (and rather enjoying biggest brother public speaking prowess - seriously, how did Scott do it, half-dead on his feet?), ready to step up and take over if need be. That wouldn't be what the hundreds of Expo attendees payed and donated to R&D funds for, but they'd be getting A Dr. Tracy, at least, if The Mr. Tracy collapsed mid-sentence.

That was just the problem at the moment. Scott didn't. He concluded the speech, got a standing ovation, and was now just sort of hanging out on stage, swaying slightly. It was obvious he was running on dregs of fumes of an adrenaline high, refusing to crash on sheer willpower. It was also obvious Scott was completely unfocused and unaware where he was and what he'd been doing the minutes prior. The brilliant blue eyes were getting telltale glassy.

John had a FRANTIC Virgil booming in his earpiece. The public spotlight made the logistics of what needed to happen next tricky: they couldn't just drag him off the podium in a firefighter hold or tranq him - and spoil the profound impression of the speech; they also couldn't wait much longer till Scott fainted in front of everyone (and possibly injured himself by the fall). John was half on his way up to try and steer Scott bodily off the stage. Gordon would have been a better man for the job - dressing the thing up with a quip and some theatrics, but the Fish was still in uniform. IR on site, crashing the keynote, might have set off unwelcome panic, dangerous in a crowded space.

In the end, it was still Gordon's out-of-the-box thinking that saved the situation. They could all hear a boy's voice through their earpieces - Alan went for the highest littlest-brother-in-distress pitch he could master:

"Scotty, could you come here? I'm right behind you! Scotty, please!"

Scott could hear it too. A less exhausted brain would have remembered Allie was on the island still. They agreed Scott would take him the next day on a tour around the Expo and to several talks the kid wanted to attend.

But Scott's bandwidth capacity at the moment was reduced to the most rudimentary parent-brain instincts. So he started slightly, turned on his heel and marched backstage. It took a bit of flailing to placate a wild-eyed Scott that a) Allie wasn't in danger; b) Allie wasn't there immediately available for inspection and protecting from danger.

It came as close as Gordon clicking the safety off the tranq gun. But finally, the blue eyes stopped searching the perimeter behind Virgil's shoulder and rolled back. Scott slumped as a ragdoll in Virgil's hold.

John rushed to join the brothers the moment he heard Alan on comms. In between the three of them they settled the Commander on a hoverstrecher. Virgil insisted on a quick scan on the spot. Nothing more serious beyond bruises, exhaustion, stress and dehydration. Small mercies. Every single one of them had a private itemized inventory of possible injuries Scott might have "forgotten" to mention in order to be cleared for the keynote commitment.

Kayo's security team were clearing the path for them, off the Expo busy routes, to leave for Thunderbird Two discretely.

John lingered to brush the fringe off Scott's now noticeably pale forehead. His original intent was to go straight back to orbit after the biggest brother was sorted out. But now, there was no way Grandma or Virgil would let Scott out of the infirmary for the next forty eight hours at least. Nor would Virgil let biggest brother out of his sight for at least twice as long after. So it would fall to John to take Alan to the Expo and show the boy around.

John didn't favor crowded bustling places on a good day, but it was crucial not to disappoint or worry the kid. Scotty unconscious, sedated and grounded would have him anxious enough. It was also a great bonding opportunity with the baby-brother and a way to lift a bit of weight off Scott's shoulders. John knew biggest brother enough to foresee he'd beat himself up for succumbing to weakness and letting Alan down. John couldn't have that. So he landed a hand for support on Gordon's shoulder and all together they started the way home.

#thunderbirds are go #scott tracy #scott tracy needs a break #john tracy #john tracy didn't sign up for this #virgil tracy #gordon tracy #and thinks fast #alan tracy #features briefly #john tracy is a good brother #methinks i have astronomy #my fic #thunderbirds 2015 #tracy brotherdom of love

[darlingmisa]

Bruises Will Heal | Abby Anderson

cw...mentions of cuts, bruises, and blood, Abby being reckless, fluff

wc...708

Usually, patrols were easy for Abby. So easy, that when her partner was called to a different duty, she decided to go alone. What would be the problem with going alone? She usually did all the work herself anyway. Plus, the area she was scheduled to was one she'd scoped out before. There were never many infected or anyone out there, it was practically abandoned. People would raid, or stay overnight, but there were never any permanent inhabitants. Keyword usually.

You'd just finished bringing food back from the cafeteria and setting things up in the small eating area in your shared room when you heard someone stumble through the door. Anyone could recognize the sound of Abby's heavy boots against the concrete floors however, these weren't exactly footsteps, but more of limping paired with the sound of pained grunts. 

Rushing towards the door you see your girlfriend covered in blood, most of which seemed to be her own. A large part of her clothes sliced open to show the deep gashes on her leg and side. Before you could even speak she mumbled "Don't worry baby, 'm fine. Just...need to sit down."

"No no no, not sit down, you need to clean all that, and probably stitches! You need to go to the med bay Abs." You grabbed the first aid kit, something you always kept on hand because you knew the answer she'd give.

"You know I never go to the med bay, I can do it myself." Abby was always stubborn about getting help. Whether it was for patrol or injuries, she was adamant she could do it herself, and most of the time she could. You'd seen her stitch herself back up countless times, but these were deeper than normal. 

"At least let me help," You begged, watching the way she grew more and more tired. "you're exhausted." You could tell she was contemplating everything. 

"I'll stitch everything up, you take care of the smaller cuts and shit. deal?" Her words were practically slurred together, and you knew it was this or nothing at all, so you got to work. 

Abby was worse than you'd ever seen her before. It was like every square inch was covered in some sort of cut, bruise, or burn. You readied a clean cloth with warm water and began to wipe away some of the blood, starting at her arms. "you're gonna need to take this off," pulling at her shirt "Gotta really get in there." 

Abby wordlessly took her, now torn, shirt off, revealing many more cuts. "Jesus fuck Abby, How did you even live." 

"I know, it's bad" She sighed as she began to stitch the smaller cuts back together. "I got ahead of myself, they just kept coming. I barely made it out with anything," She winced in between words "It was practically a useless trip." 

You weren't sure what to say. You knew she was right, she got ahead of herself. And yeah, she barely came back with anything. So you chose to keep quiet and you finished cleaning her arms and chest of blood. You could only hope she'd learned her lesson and would ask for help next time. 

After she sealed the last stitch, and her other cuts were cleaned and bandaged, you brought out the food you'd brought before, handing her a plate. "not much we can do about the bruises, but they'll heal." 

she mumbled a small yes as she shoveled food into her mouth, obviously hungry after fighting for most of her 8-hour shift on patrol. 

Abby's plate was quickly empty as was yours, and after cleaning up all the bloody clothes and discarding the once-white towels, she dragged you to bed. 

"Just lay with me? please?" the exhaustion was evident in her voice, and you could tell all she needed was a good night's sleep, and she'd be back to herself tomorrow. 

Flicking off the lights, you crawled next to her, slotting yourself underneath her thick bicep. "Get some rest, my love. You'll feel much better in the morning." You took your time, lightly kissing each and every bruise you could see. Her breathing began to even out as the sun set and you found yourself asleep shortly after. 

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson x fem reader #abby x reader #abby tlou #abby anderson #abby x fem!reader #abby the last of us #tlou abby anderson x reader #tlou #tlou abby #abby anderson x f!reader #abby anderson x you #tlou abby x reader #the last of us abby #abby anderson headcanons #abby anderson hcs #abby anderson tlou2 #tlou x reader #abby anderson fluff

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Just tell them (USWNT x Reader)

This isn't that great, but I have covid again and this is keeping me entertained. Enjoy :)

Words: 1.6K

Swing, swing, swing

It was hypnotising. The swinging and bouncing of the ponytails as the girls ran around the field. There had been many things in the past that I had hyper-fixated on. This just happened to be the weirdest one yet. I don't know what is was. It was attractive, but more likely it was the repetitive motion of it. All I knew was it was embarrassing. Not just this particular hyper-fixation, I found all of them embarrassing. I found my inability to focus, my inability to sit still and my hyperactivity embarrassing. No one on the team knew about my ADHD and I planned on keeping it that way. 

They didn't need the burden of knowing. The burden of knowing how difficult it was for me to stop myself from bouncing off the walls, to concentrate on what's going on and to actually remember stuff. They could keep thinking I was highly organised by putting every little thing in my calendar or someone who was just quiet. I put on a show as the quiet one who preferred listening to music and going to the gym constantly. When in reality is was all I could do to control the hyper-activeness and not annoy them.

"She's too old for you," Kelley stated as she sat down next to me.

I jumped, forcing my gaze away from Alex's ponytail and to her, "What?"

"You've been staring at Alex for the past 20 minutes. She's 33, you're 24. That's too old for you and she has a husband and kid."

"I wasn't staring at her, I just zoned out."

"Sure, you've been doing that a lot recently. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just tired." It was true. After moving in with my girlfriend, I wasn't used to sleeping alone, therefore I hadn't been sleeping well this camp. All my ADHD symptoms got worse when I was tired, especially the inability to focus and zoning out. Kelley looked less then convinced, but let it go when we were all called back to the field.

Later that night I was cuddled up in bed completely exhausted. Tierna was out with some of the girls and wouldn't be back until later so I took the opportunity to facetime my girlfriend, Ally. A smile appeared instantly when I saw her sitting on our bed, in her pajamas, hair in a messy bun with paper and books surrounding her. 

Hi love, you look busy.

Hey baby. Just some work I need to finish. Are you okay? You look tired.

No one ever warns you how hard it is to sleep alone after you move in with someone. You should be at your desk, you're going to hurt your back.

Tell me about it. That shit should come with a warning label or something. I was at my desk, but it got uncomfortable. 

I couldn't help, but laugh at her attempt to cheer me up, I love you, did you manage to get time off to come to the game this weekend?

She frowned, shifting slightly and I knew the answer without her saying anything. It was disappointing, but not unexpected. I'm sorry. I really tried baby.

It's okay my love, I understand. It was a long shot to begin with. You'll be watching right?

Always. You should get some sleep Y/n. I'll stay on the phone talking my nonsense until you fall asleep, just like at home. I love you.

I love you too

---

So I may have forgotten to take my meds this morning. By time I realised, it was to late and we were already on our way to the stadium. Game days were the best and worst days to forget. When I was on the field, everything washed away, I was able to focus completely on the game. The problem was before the game when nerves were at an all time high. It was hard to control the nerves when I took my meds, but almost impossible without them. I had my music all the way up, leg bouncing like crazy, trying to suppress some of the desire to scream.

Once we got off the bus things only got worse. My mind was a mess, my energy was bubbling over. I jumped up and down, shaking my arms in attempt to release some of the energy.

Christen pat my shoulder, "You'll do great, don't worry."

"Thanks, I'm going to go for a little walk, calm my nerves a little bit."

"Don't be late back."

After walking around a bit, I pulled out my phone to call the one person I knew could calm me down. Except she didn't answer. I slapped my hands against the wall a few times, stopping when I heard my phone ding.

Ally: Sorry baby, can't answer right now. I love you, you'll kick ass.

I sighed, firing off a quick reply before heading to the field, thinking maybe a warm up will calm my brain. It worked until the few minutes before the game started. I was checking my phone for a good luck text from Ally while pacing and jumping around. 

Ally: You didn't take your meds did you? Just breathe, focus on the game, you've got this

Y/n: How did you know?

Ally: Look behind you

I turned around to find Ally standing in the stands just behind the bench. Just seeing her, calmed my brain slightly. She blew me a kiss, making me smile widely. I couldn't believe she was actually here. A couple of the girls blocked my view. Turning to try and find who I was looking at. I had only been part of the team for a couple of months so they didn't know about Ally yet. There was a lot of things I hadn't told them. I had been too busy trying to be someone else so I wasn't a burden.

"Who's got you smiling like a fool?"

"Thank you love."

"Someone. You may get to meet them later, but for now, let's kick some ass."

---

After the win, we were having celebrations in the locker room. I quietly slipped out to find Ally. It didn't take long, she was standing by the door to the stadium. My arms quickly wrapped around her waist, relaxing into her. My mind going quiet for the first time all camp. Ally kissed my head, holding me tighter, "I'm so proud of you Y/n/n. You did amazing."

"Do I get to meet your team?"

"You want to?"

"Of course I do, if you want me to that is."

I pulled away, opening the door, "Come on. Just a warning, they can be a little crazy at times especially after a win."

Ally shrugged, following after me, "I live with you, I think I can handle it."

"Oh no baby, they are at least 10x worse then me."

All the attention turned to the door as we walked in, "This is my girlfriend Ally, and guess what Kelley? She's older than me."

Kelley faked shock, hand resting over her heart, "You're dating an older woman? Scandalous."

Ally pouted, "I'm only 2 years older."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, placing a kiss on her temple, "Still older babe."

"So how long have you two been together?"

"Let's see if you can remember this one babe," Ally smirked putting emphasis on babe.

I smirked back, "1,460.97 Days or 208.71 Weeks or 4 years. Give or take a week."

"How did you remember that?"

"I remembered from our anniversary last week. It took a long time to memorise them for that, but then it stuck."

She nuzzled her nose against the spot just below my ear before whispering, "I love you."

"Only every now and then."

"I love you too."

As celebrations continued, Ally pulled me away slightly, speaking quietly, "How often have you forgotten to take your meds?"

Alyssa looked at me, concern written all over her face, "What meds?"

"Just vitamins."

The girls moved to stand closer, Ashlyn being the one to speak up, "Bullshit, she wouldn't be looking so serious if it was vitamins."

I knew they could be protective, but this wasn't the reaction I was expecting, "It's nothing."

Ally rest her hand on my back, giving me an apologetic look, but spoke up anyway, "Babe, you should just tell them."

"I don't want to burden them with my problems."

My face was cupped and forced to look at Ally. She looked sad, I hated it, "Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n, you are not a burden. Having ADHD does not make you a burden. Do you understand that? Or do I have to tell you again and again until you do? You. Are. Not. A. Burden."

Before I could respond, Alex spoke up, "You have ADHD?"

Ally looked apologetic again. I wasn't mad at her for it coming out. She was just looking out for me and it was sort of a relief not to have to hide it anymore, "Uh yeah."

"That doesn't make you a burden, why would it?" Ali asked, expression sincere.

"It did to my parents. I was too much, too hyperactive, not focused enough."

"All it means is now you have us making sure you take your meds. Maybe you can stop being so quiet and withdrawn? We've noticed you want to join in or say more, but you always hesitate. Something tells me that's not who you are."

"Trust me, it's not. She's goofy, talkative, funny, Don't let that go to your head, you're only funny sometimes."

"Rude."

"You love me."

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't."

Ally's lips ghosted over mine, slight smirk appearing, "Oh, playing hard to get now?"

My lips just barely brushed hers, a shaky breath fanning over mine, "Isn't that why you fell in love with me?"

"One of many yes, bu-"

Kelley groaned, "You guys are cute and all, but this is just getting gross."

"Sorry."

Ally lent up to whisper in my ear again, "I got a hotel room for us."

I smiled, excitement rising at having her to myself, "T, I won't be back to the room tonight."

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagines #uswnt imagine #woso x reader

[je5hko]

Simon Henriksson

headcanons!

I know there might be not much cry of fear enjoyers, but here it is! simon headcanons! ( sick simon )

TW: angst, suicidal tendencies,self harm

sexual topics

Simon is a smoker, obviously, but he’s also picky when it comes to cigarettes. His beloved ones are red or blue Winstons or Malboro gold. He rarely smokes anything else (except when he’s really desperate)

His sleep schedule is fucked up, and i really mean it. Dude can go 3 days without sleeping, and then sleep for 15 hours straight.

The meds. He was supposed to take meds at first, but his mother was not really a fan of that idea. She was convinced that the therapist wanted to drug Simon with pills.

Simon was home schooled through the primary school, and first years of high school. From the lack of communication and social life, between him and other kids, he couldn’t really catch up with other people at school. He was also bullied because of being the “weird kid”

He was also the smartest guy in the school, always having the best grades and all that.

Thats how he met Sophie, firstly helping her with schoolwork, and later listening to her problems. He couldn’t really do much about her personal issues, but he tried his best to be there for her.

Never had a real friend who would listen to him, help him with his problems, and just be there for him. So whenever theres a person who’s nice to him, he becomes obsessed with them (or the other way around, cuts off the contact and dissociates himself from anyone)

Simon wasn’t exactly an extrovert too, he would avoid social interactions and spending time with others, just because he felt like its “right thing to do” and "he doesn’t belong with people"

His depression problems started when he was 10 years old, at first struggling with daily basis of his life, and then ending with caging himself in his own room .

He’s dyslexic. Do not change my mind.

Simon tried to find some kind of coping mechanism for himself, so he would feel a little bit better with spending time alone. Unfortunately the coping mechanism he choose was self harm.

His bestie (who later abandoned him) obviously found out about his self harm problem, she tried to help him somehow, talking with him about this, but it didn’t work.

When Sophie rejected him, he tried to overdose with his mothers antibiotics, or anything he would find in the house. He really loved Sophie.

Whenever Simon was in class (before he locked himself in a room again) he would try to plan his suicide, how would it look like, what would he use to take his life, etc.

Every time he tried to masturbate, he would cry in the middle of doing that… or after.

After the car accident, he wasn’t fully paralysed, he could feel his legs from time to time. If he ever had the opportunity to rehabilitate, and try to recover, he would definitely try to walk again. But he just… couldn’t show himself to the other people. Embarrassment took over him.

He’s really scared of getting actual help, so going to the doctor was almost impossible for him to do. He did it for his mother, that he loved very much.

Speaking of his mother, she was a good person, its just that, she sometimes couldn’t handle her emotions in a right way. She would take out all the bundled up emotions, such as anger, fear, sadness, on her son. Simon didn’t really mind, he knew that she had really tough times throughout her life. He was convinced that he deserved every abuse he got, justifying his mother.

His dad left when he was 10, then his depression started. (what a coincidence!)

He’s an incel. sorry.

Thank yall for reading! it feels so good to be back on tumblr! :D let me know in the comments if you want more cry of fear headcanons!

#cry of fear simon #cry of fear #cryoffear #simon henriksson #sick simon cof #cof simon #cry of fear headcanons #god hes so depressed #he needs a hug asap #sophie cry of fear