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seancamerons · 5 months

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WHERE ARE YOU NOW? MOODBOARDS

sean hope cameron 🖤 35 years old // scorpio // hardworking mechanic, temperamental, complicated loner, biker, & also a softee

sean cameron is a hometown guy ex boyfriend of emma "lucky" nelson, current boyfriend of ellie nash, friend of jay hogart, young mechanic new hire tommy, and of the manning-jeremiah-santos clan. he's recently appointed as the boss at cameron's custom cars (formally tony's auto repair) by tony after he retired after decades in the business in the beginning of the year.

(the continued biography is under the cut!)

he's still hung up on his ex, singing phenom, lucky but she'd once been simply emma, or emma nelson. to put it simply, he's a good guy overall but unfortunately in his youth he made mistakes when he fell into a 'bad crowd', and hurt countless people who cared and vouched for him such as emma, his shop teacher mr. elh, and mr. simpson. he only recently made amends with the latter, mr. elh passed from a heart attack shortly after retirement a few years after sean managed to skid through to graduation. he and mr. simpson made sure sean was on that stage with his diploma. he regrets a lot of what he did back then in high school, the whole gangsta phase craig still teases him for.

as for work, he loves what he does, drowns in his work, and stays at the garage late to cope with his regrets and avoid his off-and-on girlfriend ellie nash with whom he currently lives. sean is somewhat of a workaholic and still has issues with his temper but, he isn't as angry as he had been in the past, more indifferent. he's a glass hal full guy, pessimistic as they come and he directs his hatred for himself what he'd done to emma especially, never getting closure when he had a sliver of a chance the day she departed for greener pastures, and prioritized standing by ellie who in recent years, won't help herself in her destructive hobbies. craig and manny, his friends understand the situat

craig and manny always make excuses for emma, but visit with emma frequently and they believe there's hope for sean and emma, and aren't afraid to be honest, but he doesn't want to set himself up for false hopes either. , they claim its not all about him, fine, but her staying away has everything to do with him. sean simply doesn't understand how she is constantly flaking a simple visit, inconveniencing her parents and hometown friends to fly out her way, and not coming home. if not because of him not even her family and friends, just because she's not ready to run into him. the way he sees it, it'd been years, but that's the salties and pettyest thing he'd ever thought.

he eventually moved on, but never really got over that sting of heartbreak over the years. he filled her absence with keeping quiet on her, but silently watching from the stands, and by stands, he means online sites and such. he is a fan of hers in secret because he knew her before she became so overexposed and unattainable. it's nice to dream, he figures. she had always to him, been out of his league, and genuinely thinks she's better off. he often thinks to himself when alone, if he had a chance he'd make it right with her, but it hadn't been likely because she hadn't been home since their last tango about a year after she left, and he didn't handle his second chance the best and that justified that.

on the other hand, he doesn't feel much more for, ellie he stands by her because he cares a lot, is a weakness, and fears what she'd do if he were to break up with her or stop doing things for her when she's too drunk to function. he cares but it's hard for him to not resent how she is, he dealt with it in his youth with his parents, and so did she, but in a strictly dutiful kind of way, he helps her with respect and care. he may still love her, but he isn't in love anymore, they lost their spark and individuality in this long term off and on, and so on. it was better off for emma, if he stuck with her miserable, even if he'd rather be with emma. he hides his momentos of her from ellie so, as not to hurt her feelings. even when they were at their high points and peaks he was always into emma, but did like having his relationship with ellie, before her predispositions to alcohol and all the chaos that comes with it.

he doesn't know why ellie sticks around nowadays, and is at a loss of what to do, even before emma comes into town. she'd built and wrapped her life around sean's, and lost who she was in her daily alcohol binges. he didn't like who she'd become. he assumed he'd never stop loving emma too by comparison, but there's things about emma he's not so keen on either but she seems miles more healthy than his current girlfriend. ✨

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hello-nichya-here · 2 years

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Which is the worst writting duo: Bryan and Mike, Craig and Carter, or David and Dan?

I cannot believe I'm saying this, but put some respect on Bryke's name!

Bryan and Mike already get bonus points because, even though Avatar had it's problems, at least there is more than enough good in the show and it's conclusion that the audience doesn't want to burn their TVs after the finale. And even the weakest season was still enjoyable, instead of dragging on and on only to slap us in the face like seasons 7-9 of HIMYM, or making even the past three awful seasons look briliant like season 8 of GOT.

And even the terrible shit like rampant ableism that would eventually make the comics unsalvageable? They never hide that shit. They're ableist dicks, but they're honest ableist dicks.

Why does that matter? Simple: because How I Met Your Mother only lasted as long as it did because Carter and Craig spent years straight up lying to the fans.

The very first episode shows us that Robin, the girl the main character, Ted, is obsessed with it is NOT the love of his life, but she did eventually become a close friend that his kids now think of as their aunt. We see how Barney goes from womanizer to a hopeless romantic that just wants to make Robin happy, and they spend SIX SEASONS developing their romance, with their wedding leading up to Ted meeting Tracy, aka the "Mother," and the writers are giving interviews talking about Robin and Barney are soulmates, and how Ted's love for Tracy will completely change his life and make him FINALLY experience true love...

And then the finale happens, Barney and Robin divorce because there's no wi-fi at their hotel, Robin starts living the nightmare that is the revenge dream of every incel (aka she regrets being with the "jerk" that the "nice guy" warned her about and is now completely isolated from everyone, desperately pinning for Ted), Tracy is dead and neither her husband nor their kids give a shit, and we have the reavel that the epic love story/tribuite to his deceased wife that Ted has been telling his kids is actually just going "Can I go bone Robin? You know, the actual love of my life? Your mom was just another girl I banged, and she only mattered because Robin can't have kids."

The level of bullshit these two bastards put the fans through was unbelievable, and I can't believe they're still being allowed to work in television. They destroyed nine years of work (though some of said work was mediocre or straight up bad at times) with one absurdly terrible episode that they still think was brilliant.

And now we have the infamous Dumb & Dumber. These two are, without doubt the worst duo on this list, and I instantly knew that, because I was actually OFFENDED that you called them "writers."

There's a reason Game Of Thrones went to shit the second they ran out of books to adapt. The REAL writer was gone, and left us with the two morons that straight up said they scammed HBO when they convinced them that they totally knew what they were doing. The guys who said "themes are for book reports."

Bryke made mistakes, but they never made the heroes suffer a major loss because they "kind of forgot" they still had enemies. C&C might be idiots, but they would have never made Barney be seduced by a girl who said "You want the good girl, but you need the bad pussy."

There's a reason these two got fired from Star Wars before even writting anything: the way they botched the second half of the show, the final season, and especially the finale was SO OBVIOUSLY BAD that two people who thought that was not only good, but actually talked about how they expected it to get 100% positive reviews from critics and audiences like Breaking Bad's finale did, were two men that shouldn't be anywhere NEAR a writting process.

#asks #bryke critical #himym #dumb and dumber

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newmusicradionetwork · 1 year

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Moe Bandy Celebrates 40th Anniversary Of “Let’s Get Over Them Together” With Becky Hobbs

Award-winning country music legend, Moe Bandy is celebrating the 40th anniversary of the Top 10 duet with Becky Hobbs, “Let’s Get Over Them Together.” Written by Charlie Craig and Keith Stegall, “Let’s Get Over Them Together” became Bandy’s 16th Top 10 hit and continues to be a fan favorite. Bandy was recently inducted into the Class of 2023 of The Texas Cowboy Hall of Fame along with The Texas Ranger Division of the Department of Public Safety, San Antonio Stock Show & Rodeo, Cleo Hearn, and Boots O’Neal. Bandy, was a proud competitor in bull riding prior to pursuing country music full-time. He now joins the ranks of Willie Nelson, George Strait, Red Steagall, Lyle Lovett, Clay Walker, Robert Earl Keen, Aaron Watson, and Bob Wills who have all received this prestigious honor. “This was such an exciting time in my life and career that I will never forget,” shares Bandy. “I was on the road and recording nonstop, which is what I had always dreamed of. When I heard Becky Hobbs for the first time, I knew she was destined for great things! When we went into the studio and recorded “Let’s Get Over Them Together,” it was clear this would be a single. We had a great run with it and hope you are still enjoying it today!” “I met Moe when I opened for him at the Coffeyville, Kansas Fair & Rodeo,” shares Becky Hobbs. “After the show, he was very complimentary and said, “If you had a hit record, you’d be dangerous!” He asked me if I’d be interested in doing a duet, and the rest is history. Moe is genuinely one of the nicest people on the planet, a heckuva singer/entertainer, and a forever friend.” Bandy recently released his new album, ‘Thank You Lord.’ Delivering a heartfelt project, Bandy recorded twelve heartfelt tracks and features special guests The Isaacs on “Family Bible” and The Oak Ridge Boys with Nora Lee Allen on “The Lord Is My Shepherd.” The title track, written by Mo Pitney, Bobby Tomberlin, and Cheryl Riddle offers a true reflection of where Bandy is in his life today, of which he is thankful for another mile, another day, and a life many could have only dreamed of. ‘Thank You Lord’ features tunes from prominent Nashville songwriters including Willie Nelson, Bill Anderson, Hank Williams, and more! The twelve-track project was produced by Michele Voan Capps and sponsored by Gus Arrendale and Springer Mountain Farms and is available on all streaming platforms now! To stream or purchase, visit HERE. “We all try to live life to the fullest and with purpose,” shares Bandy. “When you get to a certain place in your life, you reflect on your past. We have all made mistakes and decisions that we may regret, but you have to look at the positives. God has been so good to me. He has given my family blessings that I never dreamed were even possible. I am so thankful to Him and wanted this album to fully reflect my faith in God. A special thanks to Gus Arrendale and Springer Mountain Farms for their continued support and for making this album a reality.” For further information, visit HERE. ‘Thank You Lord’ Track Listing: Thank You Lord (Bobby Tomberlin, Mo Pitney, Cheryl Riddle) Family Bible ft. The Isaacs (Willie Nelson) I Believe (Drake, Graham, Shirl, Stillman) God Is Great, God Is Good (Bill Anderson) House Of Gold (Hank Williams) The Lord Is My Shepherd ft. The Oak Ridge Boys & Norah Lee Allen (Ardon A. Hollis) Shall We Gather At The River (Robert Lowry) Many Mansions (Randall, Sanders, Etheridge) What A Friend We Have In Jesus (Joseph M. Scriven) Wayfaring Stranger (Public Domain) Just A Closer Walk With Thee (Public Domain) Precious Lord Take My Hand (Thomas A. Dorsey) *Digital review copies of ‘Thank You Lord’ available upon request* Moe Bandy’s Upcoming Tour Dates: APR 22 – Texas Pride Barbecue / Adkins, Texas MAY 13 – Neon Moon / Yantis, Texas MAY 20 – Ohio Valley Opry / McConnelsville, Ohio MAY 26 – Cailloux Theater / Kerrville, Texas MAY 27 – Real Life Amphitheater / Selma, Texas (with Joe Stampley, Johnny Lee, T.G. Sheppard, Janie Fricke, and Moore & Moore) JUN 03 – Marion Cultural Civic Center / Marion, Ill. (with John Conlee) JUN 06 – The Moore & Moore Fan Club Party at The Nashville Nightlife / Nashville, Tenn. JUN 07 – Country For A Cause at 3rd & Lindsley / Nashville, Tenn. JUN 09 – Independence County Fair / Batesville, Ark. JUN 15 – The Palace Theatre / Corsicana, Texas JUN 16 – The Hippodrome / Waco, Texas JUN 17 – Arlington Music Hall / Arlington, Texas (with Jeannie Seely) JUN 18 – Truman Lake Opry / Tightwad, Mo JUL 07 – Riley’s Tavern / New Braunfels, Texas JUL 08 – 2920 Roadhouse / Hockley, Texas AUG 05 – Sugar Creek Casino / Hinton, Texas (with T.G. Sheppard, Janie Fricke, T. Graham Brown, and Jeannie Seely) AUG 12 – Carthage Civic Center / Carthage, Texas (with Joe Stampley) AUG 19 – Broken Horn Bar & Grill / Midland, Texas SEP 02 – Pedrotti’s Ranch / Helotes, Texas OCT 12 – Granbury Live / Granbury, Texas OCT 13 – 11th Street Cowboy Bar / Bandera, Texas OCT 14 – 2920 Roadhouse / Hockley, Texas (with Joe Stampley) OCT 21 – Park Theater / McMinnville, Tenn. (with Buddy Jewell) NOV 11 – Bosque Arts Center / Clifton, Texas DEC 02 – Chisholm Trail Christmas Ball / Belton, Texas DEC 03 – Dosey Doe / The Woodlands, Texas (with Janie Fricke) For more information, tickets, and to keep up with everything Moe Bandy, visit HERE. About Moe Bandy: Moe Bandy’s country music accomplishments are many, including ten No. 1 hit songs, many Top Ten hits, five Gold records, and numerous ACM and CMA Awards. He started his recording career while he was a sheet metal worker in San Antonio, Texas, but after a decade of hard labor, Bandy traded his sheet metal for Gold albums. In the mid-seventies when the country pop Kenny Rogers, John Denver and the outlaw sound of Waylon and Willie was all the rage, along came the traditionalist Moe Bandy. Bandy recently penned an autobiography, Moe Bandy: Lucky Me, available for purchase now at moebandybook.com. For more information on Moe Bandy, visit moebandy.com. Suggested post: .@MoeBandyMusic and #BeckyHobbs celebrate 40th Anniversary of Top 10 duet #LetsGetOverThemTogether. New album #ThankYouLord is available now and Bandy is latest inductee into #TexasCowboyHallofFame. To stream or purchase: ffm.to/mb_tyl Read the full article

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danses-with-dogmeat · 3 years

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Introducing My Fallout OCs!

OMGGGG y’all, I can’t. I’ve apparently reached over 200 of you fantabulous followers and I am so ecstatic! I honestly don’t even know if this is considered a milestone or anything, but I was super psyched, so I'm doing something about it, dang it!

Also, just a heads up on me right now, I just started school again, so my posting miiiiiiight be a bit sporadic every now and then, but I’m determined to still try and get a few posts out every week, so we’ll see how that goes. I’m also pretty backed up on requests at the moment, I’m still accepting them for the time being, but I may turn off my asks if I’m finding difficulty getting to everyone.

Anyways, I know I don’t ever really talk about my Fallout Original Characters, but I’m thinking of doing some stuff with them in the future, so this seemed like a good place to start 🤷‍♀️ So, here they are! One from each of the 3 FO games I write for. If ya’ll want to send in any asks about these folks, please feel free to do so!

(Art for these peeps is pending potentially as well).

My Lone Wanderer: Hope

Appearance:

- Basically like a black-haired, blue eyed Sarah Connor (y’know, from Terminator), she’s got a small frame, but is an absolute beast. She loves to change up her hair, but prefers the iron maiden, unladylike, or rude ridge styles and will often dye it bright-ass colors, cuz why not? She’s pretty pale considering the vault background and the fact she is constantly wearing full body combat or leather armor when she’s outdoors, and she has a few piercings she actually got before leaving the vault.

What’s in a Name:

- “Hope” was the name that her parents chose for her before she was even born, but she can’t stand it, she just tends to see it as a cruel joke in the world they live in. She instead goes by Effie (short for Ephialtes, cuz she’s edgy and dramatic and read too much in school). Hope tends not to tell anyone her real name, and if she does, you’d best not use it to refer to her, unless you like being enslaved. The only one who could ever get away with it is Jericho and a select few people from the vault (Stanley, and her father, but she’s still not happy about it.)

Sexuality:

- Pansexual

Main Companion:

- Jericho

Relationship(s):

- She has a sort of “friends with benefits” type situation going with Jericho, but it ends up getting... complicated, and turning somewhat into a relationship.

Bestie(s):

- Even though he’s her boss, Hope likes to hang out with Eulogy when she’s in Paradise Falls. When she was in the vault, she spent a lot of time with Stanley, and was pretty close with Butch, Wally, and Paul as well.

Fam Dam:

- James and Catherine are/were her parents (obviously). But she also considered Stanley to be a sort of uncle to her.

Karma:

- Oh, the worst. She’s honestly awful. She steals, she murders, she enslaves, she blows up settlements, all of it. She’s got a lot of things she needs to work out...

Faction of Choice:

- The Slavers of Paradise Falls. (Yeah... she sucks.) The Brotherhood and the Outcasts just never really struck her fancy, and her and Jericho found it was easy to make bank with the slavers. Hope also is a friend to Allistair Tenpenny and Mister Burke... and not the folks in Megaton. Cuz they’re all not really alive.

Vault Occupation:

- Engineer

Fun Fact!:

- Hope is really bad with empathy, and absolutely needs to experience something for herself before she can make any sort of judgement on it, or other people who have had that same experience.

My Courier Six: Sage

Appearence:

- Sage doesn’t really consider herself very “flashy” in comparison to most folks in NV. She’s got shoulder length brown hair (blast back or clean cut style) and brownish-hazel eyes. She’s pretty damn tan (Mojave, you know) and doesn’t have many scars, but the ones on the right side of her forehead clearly indicate where she was shot in the head (thanks, Benny). She and Boone tend to twin quite a bit, with matching red berets and sunglasses.

What’s in a Name:

- The poor girl has no clue what her real name was before she was shot, but she saw a box of labelled herbs in Doc Mitchell’s house when she was recovering from her headwounds and decided she liked the name “Sage.”

Sexuality:

- Bisexual

Main Companion:

- Craig Boone

Relationship:

- Also Boone :) it’s a pretty darn slow-burn romance with lots of bumps along the way, but their love always seems to prevail. (Gross and sappy, I know)

Bestie(s):

- Arcade, plus Rex, and ED-E. Also Victor and Doc Mitchell.

Fam Dam:

- No clue, unfortunately. She eventually tries to find out something about her past and her family, if she has any, but she’s got a few things to deal with first (hint, one rhymes with pleaser’s fleegion).

Karma:

- She may make mistakes along the way, but Sage really does try her best to be as good as possible.

Faction of Choice:

- Mr. House and the Followers of the Apocalypse. Would like to get rid of House, but can't bring herself to become responsible for everything once he's gone. She considers herself his personal empathy and tries to assist with the goings on of the Mojave even after the battle of hoover dam. Fucking wiped out everyone in the Legion. Her and Boone are a force to be reckoned with. And she never really cared much for the Brotherhood since she had such little interaction with them. She has a good relationship with Freeside and most of the settlements/other towns as well.

Previous Occupation:

- Courier? She has no idea what else. But she’s oddly really good with medicine 🤔

Fun Fact!:

- She supports Mr. House for a number of reasons, but one of the biggest is that she doesn't want to lose Victor. He saved her, and she considers the securitron to be her oldest friend (besides Doc Mitchell). She knows it's a little selfish, but she can't bring herself to put an end to him after he pulled her from her own grave and helped bring her back from the brink of death.

My Sole Survivor: Jolene Arvanidis-Ryan

Appearence:

- She’s got auburn hair she usually keeps cut short (clean cut) or in a bun, green eyes, pale skin with a good amount of freckles and has exceptionally straight teeth (braces suck, but you know.) When traveling with Cait, people tend to think they’re related. Jolene tends to wear a black beret and, if she has the time and resources, she likes cat eye style eyeliner.

What’s in a Name:

- Her first name runs in the family... plus her dad really liked Dolly Parton, so that helped cement the first name for him. Nate’s last name was Arvanidis, and she tends to use that as her last name exclusively, she rarely reveals her maiden name (Ryan) to anyone.

Sexuality:

- Straight

Main Companion:

- Paladin Danse

Relationship:

- It takes a long time (post BB), but she ends up being with Danse.

Bestie(s):

- MacCready and Cait

Fam Dam:

- Pre-war, her father was a carpenter and her mother was a major in the US military, she had no siblings and was very close with her father since her mom was often away on deployment.

Karma:

- Decent. Tries her best to do what’s “right,” but she sometimes has a hard time determining what that is. Is good at following orders, even if she doesn’t always agree with them (BB is the exception in this case).

Faction of Choice:

- Brotherhood of Steel, at least until BB, then she tends to focus more on the Minutemen, but still stays by the BOS’s side when it comes to taking down the Institute. Despite her loyalty to the BOS, she always regrets what she did to the Railroad, and how she ended things with the Institute, and she holds quite a bit of resentment towards Elder Maxson for ordering her to pull the trigger that ended her son’s life, and the other lives within the Institute.

Previous Occupation (Pre-War):

- She was a Gunnery Sergeant in the US Military. (Trying to follow in her mother’s footsteps).

Fun Fact!:

- She hates killing feral ghouls, but keeps it under wraps since she tends to travel with MacCready and Danse the most. After that random encounter where she found herself murdering her own neighbors, she can’t bring herself to look into the eyes of any feral ghouls she has to kill.

Bonus! Fun Fact!:

- She started out as my sort of "throw away" playthrough where I wanted to do a BOS run, just out of curiosity, but she ended up being my main playthrough… probably because Danse is just the best and I can't get enough of that tin can thesaur-ass.

#fallout #fallout 3 #fallout new vegas #fallout 4 #original character #fallout oc #thank you guys again #ily all so much #thank you for reading #you all are the best

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captainsuke · 5 years

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had to make a choice that was not mine (had to say goodbye for the last time)

The first thing he finds, when he’s finally stopped, no more flights no more buses, taxis or any sort of movement, just him and an empty cheap hotel room, what he finds is two hundred grand packed into the bottom of his backpack and he is so mad.

That’s so illegal, he thinks wildly before laughing himself sick. Like he’s not in a foreign country traveling under a passport that’s definitely not bearing his name, like he’s not on the run from the law, like what is one more law broken?

Still. Jesus Christ Deran.

He finds the phone eventually, underneath it all. Stares at it for a long time after. Has to stop himself from hurling it against a wall.

The first time Deran calls, the first time the phone rings, he almost doesn’t answer it.

But he does. Presses the little green button, puts it to his ear and hangs up at the sound of Deran’s voice.

Then immediately regrets it. Then doesn’t. Then does again. Adrian doesn’t know.

The phone sits quiet for an hour, for two. It’s just past lunch time which makes it late in the night yesterday back in Oceanside, Adrian can picture the scene vividly. Deran keeping his insomnia company, smoking and holding his phone tight. Then it rings again.

This time he picks up.

Adrian doesn’t give him time to talk, says some things he doesn’t mean, a lot of things, says all the words that have been brewing in his chest, and Deran stays silent through out his entire tirade.

When he’s done, angrily heaving breaths, Deran just asks are you okay?

“Can you do anything if I’m not?”

Deran’s silent for a long time, long enough that Adrian thinks maybe he’s going to hang up. That he’s finally said the thing that makes him hang up.

But he does answer. Eventually. A quiet broken no.

The truth doesn’t make him feel any better. But it does make him feel something.

He doesn’t hang up next time Deran calls.

The third, fourth, fifth calls go like that, Deran listening to Adrian’s words, Adrian listening to the sound of Deran’s breathing,

The change of breath when something he says lands particularly hard.

The next call, he’s tired, he misses home and his sister and Deran, their house on the beach, their main surfboards leaning up next to each other, Deran’s pile of stupidly expensive skate shoes that they would both trip over at the door.

He’s lonely and tired and he just doesn’t have any stories to tell, can’t think of anything to say, doesn’t want to be the one talking today.

“What’s up with you?”

He swears he can hear Deran shrug even as he says nothing.

“No, come on man, this doesn’t work if it’s just me. It’s not just me, right?”

Deran makes a noise that Adrian hopes is him agreeing, then, finally, he speaks.

“Right, okay, okay, uhh, Pope and J are getting along? I think?”

“That’s… good?” Adrian never had much to do with Julia’s kid; doesn’t have many memories of him from when they were kids and J was toddling around the Cody house, has just the handful of times he’s been around since he came back, since Adrian and Deran got together.

(and fell apart, fuck, they’d never had any time, Adrian thinks, like star crossed lovers if he’s feeling melodramatic, cursed if he’s feeling worse. Their timing sucked from day one but sometimes it seemed like the entire universe was conspiring to make everything turn to shit, to make little mistakes and minor problems into fleeing the country and losing everything. It’s not fair.)

“Man, I don’t even know.” Deran says, but he kind of chuckles afterwards. Like maybe it wasn’t all that bad. Or maybe he’s just laughing because it doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, everything just keeps happening and they’re just trying to keep above water now.

After that it’s easier. Or something like easy. Some days Adrian talks about shit he sees, the tourists he’s overcharging to learn how to surf, the little kids that he borrows boards to when the weather gone bad and business is slow. The grandmother a couple of houses down that is always pushing food on him. She calls him Silly Boy with a fond voice, but Adrian doesn’t tell Deran that.

Other days Deran talks around stuff at home. Meanders around topics like he can’t keep his attention on any one thing. Like maybe he’s avoiding topics he thinks Adrian doesn’t want to hear about. Or things he doesn’t know how to talk about.

He says Craig’s gotta dad now, then talks about Renn introducing Nic to the ocean for an hour.

Smurf’s shrine keeps coming back he says, and Adrian remembers the pile of flowers and candles that Deran had stared long and hard at with red rimmed eyes, sitting uninvited on the side walk outside The Drop. Then he spends the rest of the phone call talking about two of his bartenders trying to pretend they’re not dating, when everyone knows they totally are.

“What do people think happened?” He asks one time, what do his friends think, his sister? The guys they’d surf with, Adrian’s regular customers, the random people who’d come up to him sometimes, who liked having a pro surfer give them advice on surfboards. What do they think happened to him?

“Ah. Ha,” It’s a weird laugh, amused, but not in a good way. “Most people think I killed you.”

Oh.

“Wow,” is what he ends up saying. Very carefully doesn’t say you did.

Which.

He doesn’t know how he feels about that. Maybe a week ago he would have said it. When he first got here he definitely would have, would have yelled it, and maybe would have found other words to throw, to hurt.

He’s not sure how he feels about the change. It’s not bad, he thinks. Maybe it’s not bad that he’s not so angry anymore. Even if it leaves only sadness behind.

He misses Deran.

Misses the quiet shyness that only he got to see. Misses the way he’d hold his head, mouth twisting into a cocky grin, eyes searching for Adrian’s because Deran always wanted Adrian to be watching. Fuck, he misses his quiet frustrated sighs. God, how can Adrian miss the look on Deran’s face when things got too much? The careful blank expression and forced stillness, fuck, he misses the bad as much as the good.

“Today is the worst.” Deran announces at the start of one call, sounding funny, like he’s speaking face down on a bed, but there’s the sound of him shifting constantly, his breath making small noises of hurt.

“You okay?”

“Some asshole prepper named Thor broke like half my ribs, so congratulations I hate those movies now too.”

“I don’t know, I kind of liked those movies,” Adrian retorts just to hear Deran make an offended noise. “All that long blond hair.”

“Yeah, well this guy was a cueball, plus he’s my cousin, well, Pope’s cousin, so there’s that.”

“Wow, okay, what?” The Cody’s don’t have family. It’s one of the weirdest thing about their fucked up family lore. Old lady Smurf just appearing out of no where, all of her sons without fathers, just another way to keep them stuck to her. (She’s dead, he tells himself, like crossing himself, sometimes he just has to say it out loud. Smurf is dead. It still doesn’t feel real.)

“Yeah they’re fitting right in, they might actually have shittier genes than us.”

“What happened?”

“Hit me with his fucking car.”

“Are you okay?” Adrian worries and Deran laughs with a hitching breath.

“Hey, you know me, I hood surfed that bitch easy.”

“Yeah? How’d you break the ribs then?”

Silence

“Didn’t stick the landing?” Adrian teases.

“Not even a good attempt man.” There’s humor in Deran’s voice at least.

“Gotta work on that.”

Deran laughs his wounded laugh and Adrian’s hands ache where they’re wrapped around the phone.

Adrian can hear a baby crying in the background, making it hard to hear the words Deran’s mumbling in his ear.

“Deran where are you?”

He doesn’t answer but there’s the sound of a door sliding open, then closed, and Adrian can hear the ocean in the background instead of a baby’s cry.

Deran doesn’t say anything.

“You should go home.”

Deran clears his throat with a swallow that sounds wet and Adrian hates that he made that happen. He’s not an idiot. Adrian didn’t look back when he walked away from Deran leaving him at the pier. But he did when he was in the car, when they drove away and all that was in the rear view was a man curled in on himself on the ground with shaking shoulders. He knows he’s not the only one that died a little that last night in Oceanside. No matter how angry he is at Deran at any time Adrian hates when he cries. Probably hates it more than Deran himself hates it. And fuck he hated crying. When he’d been a kid he’d hold his breath til he was red in the face just trying to stop hiccuping breaths from exposing him. Not that it mattered, Deran’s face is the type that all but shouted from the rooftops if he was even adjacent to tears.

“I’m making Craig pay for all the big brother bullshit I’ve had to do for the last ten years.” Deran says instead.

Adrian lets him have his deflection. Tries not to think about their house sitting empty and abandoned, while Deran couch surfs or – god forbid – moves back into his bar’s crawl space.

Not often, but sometimes it’s a lot of silence and very few words. But those words carry a lot more weight.

Adrian watches the waves rolling in, brightly colored swimsuits bobbing in the blue, phone to his ear as he listens to that familiar breathing, the wind and the crashing of waves half a world away.

“I miss you.” It’s said now, out loud with no chance of taking it back. “Even when I hate you, I miss you.”

Adrian can hear the slosh of liquid, Deran swallowing, the clink of glass against glass.

“I know I tried to say it, but I never said it.” Adrian says, even now skirting around the real words. (I love you)

Deran doesn’t say anything for a very long time, just the two of them listening to each other’s wet breathing, pretending that they’re both holding it together. When Deran does speak his voice cracks.

“I want you here, I don’t, I can’t -” Deran cuts off like he’s choking. “I keep forgetting you’re not coming back.”

Adrian doesn’t think that’s what he was going to originally say, but he lets it go. There’s things he’s tried to say, words that circle around in his head but catch in his throat. They’ve never been much good at talking, these past months is probably the most they’ve spoken since they were idiot kids wanting to spill every thought and secret to the other. As though if nothing was between them, nothing could tear them apart.

Their style of comfort - their type of communications - has nearly always been in presence and touch; Adrian with his never ending patience, his ready comfort that tied no strings, and Deran always in Adrian’s corner, always standing behind him, ready with words and fists.. They really had made a great pair, even if time had torn them apart, turned those kids into something almost unrecognizable.

Adrian leans back in his deck chair, bites into brightly colored fruit that’s even sweeter than it’s bright skin would suggest. Juice runs down his fingers and in the background kids scream and squeal as waves break against them. He’ll have to go back to work soon, feeling drained and washed out, conversations like this don’t belong in a bright day, with the heavy air and warm sun. Adrian would kill to be back on his shitty couch, Deran’s head in his lap, but the thought just makes him ache.

He has to go back to work.

There’s still questions he tries to ask.

When-? Will-? Can I ever come home?

But not everything is easier to say like this. So, yet again, things go unsaid.

He rings Deran one night – his night – when the walls are closing in, when the noises of tourists get drunk in the streets makes him want to curl up and die, or go out there and get drunker and do something real fucking stupid.

“I’m sorry, you know? I know, I, I fucked up this time.”

“Don’t, you know, just don’t with that shit.” Deran’s voice starts sharp then goes thin and small. “If anything, you know it was me, I fucked up. “

It’s easier, which is fucked up Adrian knows – he knows – but it’s easier to talk like this, where the only hard part is the days when things have gone wrong, when Deran’s voice is strained and hurt, Adrian aches with loneliness so hard that he feels physically destroyed, and Adrian has to curl around the phone in his hand to stop himself from buying a plane ticket and forcing Deran to come be with him.

“You’re not the only one that fucked up this time.”

He wonders where Deran is, the nights Deran rings he can hear the bar, or a brother, or something that he can recognize. All he can hear now is the generic sound of traffic, Deran’s shoe scuffing against the ground in a continuous rhythmic noise, maybe the murmur of voices in the distance.

“I think you’ve got some credit in the fucking up department.” Deran’s tone goes dry, like he thinks the idea that Adrian should take any of the blame is hilarious.

“That’s not how it works, Deran.”

Adrian hears the distinct bark of Pope’s voice, the words lost though the angry tone remains. Deran sighs but doesn’t answer his brother.

“Try and get some sleep Adrian,” he says.

As Deran hangs up, Adrian can hear the snarl of words not meant for him, the maybe sound of a scuffle. He doesn’t sleep for a long time, but he doesn’t go out. Doesn’t do anything stupid. That’s got to count for something.

Sometimes it’s just Deran talking shit, half formed sentences and thoughts and all Adrian needs to do is make the occasional hum and Deran will keep talking, and for awhile Adrian gets to feel like maybe it’s not all bad. But sometimes he says something important in the constant stream of words.

“Wait, did you, are you saying I could come home?”

Deran’s silent for a very long time. Like maybe he didn’t mean to say anything.

“Deran. Talk to me. Tell me.” Adrian takes a deep breath, tries not to feel anything. “Even if it sucks, you gotta tell me.”

Deran stays silent for a little while longer, but Adrian knows Deran needs time; he doesn’t know how to say things sometimes, it’s half their problems, their inability to say the things they think.

“Okay,” Deran finally says with a shuddering breath. “You’re right. It’s weird, Oceansides weird now, man. A whole lotta Smurf’s old contacts have been coming out. Since she, you know, since she’s been gone.”

Adrian makes a noise to let him know he’s still listening, hating the way Deran’s voice hesitates unsure talking about his mother. He doesn’t know what exactly went down when Smurf died. Not exactly. Knows just enough to know it was bad. Really bad. That Smurf had gone out of her way to fuck up her kids just that little bit more on her way out. Part of him wants Deran to feel like he can talk about anything with him. The rest of him wants to never hear her mentioned again, unless its a plan to dig her up and set her on fire for all the shit she’s put all them all through. For the shit that’s still tearing them apart even now she’s gone.

“People we never even knew existed. And they want, you know, the usual bullshit, money, favors, chance to say they screwed over the Cody’s.” He sounds bitter as he says it, like he’s continuously disappointed by the criminals he deals with.

“Deran.” Adrian says, trying to pull him back to focus, Deran will bitch about assholes for hours if he got started.

“There’s this fed.” Deran blurts out. “Crooked as fuck, dirty, you know? But he says. He says your deal should have stuck, like you held your end, feds should have held up theirs.”

“What’s he want?” Adrian asks, because they always want something, and he might not be able stop Deran from doing something stupid, but he can at least know what the cost was.

“Same shit, I guess.” Deran answers.

“Deran…”

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up. I don’t know what he wants. How long it’ll take.” Deran says it like he doesn’t care, like it doesn’t matter what the crooked fed asks for, like it was a done deal as soon as he knew what sort of currency was required.

It reminds Adrian of a conversation weeks ago, a short one where Deran’s voice had been half slurred with alcohol or lack of sleep (or both)

You don’t know what I’ve done, I’ve done things. Way I am now, you don’t want me anywhere near you.

And he didn’t have anything to say to it back then, doesn’t know what to say now. He doesn’t know how he feels about the fact that part of him screams I don’t care! that whatever Deran’s done doesn’t matter to him.

He’s fucked, he’s known that since he was fifteen and the two of them had nursed bloody noses and black eyes behind the bleachers at school, fucked since Deran had leaned over his bar and said you made it clear you didn’t want to hear from me with a smile on his face, like it was okay if the past was all they ever got to have.

It’s been half a year and Deran left him to fend for himself in a foreign country and Adrian still wants to know how he’s doing, still wants nothing bad for the idiot, wants to go back to those nights when Deran was relaxed enough to let Adrian wrap his arms around him, to curl around him til there wasn’t any space between the two of them.

Something that feels like it could be hope starts growing, like the unfurling petals of a flower slowly blossoming in his chest.

Adrian’s so fucking gone on this idiot that the only thing that makes all of this remotely okay, is that maybe – just maybe – Deran’s just as lost on him.

#animal kingdom #ak fic #adrian dolan #deran cody #my fic #mine #teamsuke #This is something of a fix it #I just wanted them to talk #i forgot to mention #because I AM THE WORST #@theninjazebra is a champion #for dealing with my half formed ideas and helping me fond a drection to take them

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anhed-nia · 5 years

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GHOST STORY (1981)

What a gross fucking movie this is. I'm sure I had seen it before, and its quaintness just failed to stick to my overworked young receptors. So, I've been walking about the earth thinking about how this is probably very charmingly old fashioned and everything, it's just "not for me". In reality, it's incredibly poisonous.

In this cutesy Peter Straub adaptation, the stuffy old duffers who comprise the adorable "Chowder Society" carry on their fraternal tradition of tormenting each other with spooky stories, until an actual tragedy from their shared past arrives in the form of a seductive ghost who avenges herself upon them one by one. In many ways, it's pretty typical of this odd trope wherein the guilty remembrance of things past becomes an opportunity for the protagonist to graduate from flawed everyman to self-actualized hero. That trope in and of itself is sort of bothersome. I mean, guilt is a powerful universal experience, making it excellent allegory fodder. But, if the filmmaker is going to be honest about the nature of guilt, they have to accept that their protagonists may become pretty unlikable in the eyes of the audience, or at the very least, a dark mirror that reflects back the specter of our most shameful moments. What usually happens, though, is that the hero's original sin is outstripped so dramatically by their victim's (over)reaction, that the audience ceases to care about whether the hero is, in fact, an asshole. Wiser approaches to the topic of guilt are offered by A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, in which the youthful protagonists are the victims of their parents' sins, or RINGU, which puts to death the pretentious idea that being a "good person" with "good intentions" should protect you from the consequences of your careless trespasses. GHOST STORY makes no such considerations, instead dehumanizing the victim of the Chowder Society's predatory behavior so thoroughly that the audience has hardly a moment to even decide whether to sympathize with her.

Rejoining the story: the ambiguously natural and accidental deaths of the Society's charming old fogies take on a more serious meaning when a similar fate befalls one of their strapping young sons. When the remaining son arrives (played by Craig Wasson, who I should admit I have always found deeply repulsive; his slimey Steve Guttenberg-esque sexuality is always wafted under my nose in every movie he's in, and this always casts an extra unctuous pall over whatever I'm watching) to insist on the supernatural origins of their troubles, the good old boys finally spring into action to lay the vengeful spirit to rest. But, who is this spirit? Why, it's the great Alice Krige! Who, in this movie, is even less human than her Borg Queen incarnation. We eventually discover that in the Chowder Society's youth, this stunningly beautiful, graceful, tasteful, irresistible young woman named Eva made the mistake of befriending the four frat brothers. Her astonishing appearance alienates all of the women in their lives, about which they give not one fuck, as they all seem to consider her their shared property. In true Archie Comics fashion, the boys spend all spring clumsily wooing their new playmate, until their most virile member finally takes her to bed. This almost initiates a feeding frenzy, until Eva threatens to reveal that her would-be lover couldn't get it up, for which she is rewarded with violence. Thinking her dead, the four entomb her in a car and push it into a watery grave, before realizing too late that she is still alive. Pretty gross, right?

Well, you'd think so. But what reason are we given to care about Eva's fate? In GHOST STORY, it isn't just that Eva isn't a living person--she's barely a person at all. This is very deliberate on the part of the script. The movie takes no absurdist tone, but expects the audience to accept that an incomparably beautiful woman of obvious means has absolutely no relationships in her life. No friend or lover or next of kin follows up on her disappearance, and before we even get to that point, she doesn't seem to have anything better to do for weeks on end, than flounce around with a bunch of slavering morons who share with her only an interest in her body. She has no job, no noted education, no past or future. She has no value at all outside of the way that men respond to her. Eva's only purpose is to die horribly in order to give the main characters more substance, to make their pouty regrets all the more maudlin, to coerce us into pitying them, just as the shallow characters of their doting wives are meant to do. Boys will be boys, and if that amounts to murdering some empty husk of a person out of sexual hubris, then that's ok too, as long as it took place in the bygone days of boyhood.

The old men's flaunted patheticness and self-pity is much more important than Eva's humiliation and execution, and just in case you don't buy that from the drippy tone of GHOST STORY, you will be further assured that the undead Eva is so monstrous that literally everything else becomes forgivable. She drives men to madness and death, she manipulates and terrorizes their innocent young descendants, and she even harnesses a couple of also-innocent escaped mental patients to carry out her dirty work. When the survivors finally remand Eva's impressively rotting corpse to the authorities (thanks, Dick Smith, for the only real reason to watch this movie), there is no sense of delivering justice to this outrageously scorned woman; it is only that this demonic entity has been vanquished, and the remaining heroes will suffer no further annoyance from her.

It should really come as no surprise that such a story of violation and murder would be used by a hoary old novelist to, perversely, exonerate rich comfortable men from their "youthful indiscretions". I guess I should take my negative reaction to this as evidence that I am not the desensitized gorehound I once worried I was, and more to the point, I'm still human. More human than Eva could ever have hoped to be, anyway.

FOR FURTHER READING: Comic book dorks among you may recognize the above literary device from lots and lots of DC Comics. The practice of hideously killing off a female character for the sole purpose of giving a male character his raison d'être is common enough that it became known by the soubriquet "fridging", after an especially awful instance. Regarding this, a bunch of dorkettes and I came up with the delightful catch phrase "DON'T FRIDGE ME, BRO!", and developed full intentions of printing tee shirts with this phrase on the front, and a memorial list of victims on the back. If anybody would like to give me money to print these up, HMU.

#fred astaire #melvyn douglas #douglas fairbanks jr #john houseman #craig wasson #patricia neal #ghost story #peter straub #john irvin #adaptation #blogtober #horror #supernatural horror #ghost #feminism #alice krige

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ao3feed-creek · 5 years

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The Unexpected Consequences of Past Mistakes

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2HTUG0n

by momosnamegame

In his childhood, Tweek Tweak made a deal with a mysterious creature. The strange being's request was fairly straightforward; It wanted Tweek to make a contract to become a magical boy. In exchange, it would grant him one wish, his heart's desire. Years later, Tweek woefully regrets his hasty decision, and strives to prevent his fellow classmates from suffering the same fate. However, he learns that this task may not prove to be as easy as he thought, for all people are tempted and swayed by a demon's sweet song.

Words: 1546, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: South Park

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Multi

Characters: Tweek Tweak, Kyle Broflovski, Stan Marsh, Craig Tucker, Bebe Stevens, Wendy Testaburger, Token Black, Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kenny McCormick, Eric Cartman, Kyubey

Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Bebe Stevens/Wendy Testaburger, Token Black/Nichole Daniels, Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman (one-sided)

Additional Tags: this is a PMMM AU, lots of characters will die and/or be depressed, the kids are around 17 years old, i will sprinkle in happy moments, and give y'all a somewhat pleasant ending, but there will be angst, Angst, Fluff, Romance, Crying, all that jazz, tweek and kyle will not be a couple in this story, but kyle is most definitely intrigued by what he sees, Family Feels, I promise there will be more chapters, somehow it's just posted as a one-shot

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2HTUG0n

#Tweek x Craig #Craig x Tweek #IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic

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animalkingdom-an0nymous · 6 years

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Say It

Disclaimer: No gifs or photos are mine unless stated otherwise.

Subject: J X Y/N

Something was going on with J. I didn’t know what it was, but I could feel it in my bones. He was avoiding my texts, my calls. Hell, I’d even stopped by his grandmother’s house and when she answered the door she claimed he wasn’t home.

But I’d be damned if I let Joshua Cody’s avoidance skills deter me.

He’s nothing more than a friend, I thought to myself as I drummed my fingeres against my kitchen table, debating whether or not I should stop by his house again. That kiss? It meant nothing, Y/N. Get it out of your head. I sighed, tapping my foot against the floor. I felt restless, unable to sit still for longer than a few seconds at a time.

The kiss that meant nothing, the kiss that I couldn’t stop thinking about had occurred during spring break. J’s uncles had realized he was on vacation and threw a huge party at their house, inviting everyone from our high school. J and I didn’t have many friends, but everyone showed up because of the booze, drugs, and half naked girls hanging out by the pool. It had been overwhelming, to say the least. Craig was loving it because he was too fucked up to care that someone had literally puked in his bed, and Deran was having a blast lighting things on fire and jumping from the roof to the pool.

I’d escaped for some fresh air when I felt an arm wrap around my neck and pull me backwards. My back landed against J’s chest and he just felt so warm and so inviting and he smelled so good, I couldn’t help but lean into his embrace.

Maybe the beer had lowered my inhibitions, and his too, because one minute I was leaning back against him and the next thing I knew I was turning in J’s arms and leaning up, pressing my mouth against his.

My lower belly warmed at the memory of that kiss. His tongue sliding against mine, the way he cupped my face between his wide palms. But it was J, my J, the J that had been my best friend since we shared a pack of Doritos in kindergarten. And you know what? I didn’t give a damn. I reveled in that kiss because I’d wanted it for too long, craved it for too long. I’d idly sat by after J lost his mom, watching as Nicky coddled him and tried to insert herself into his new life.

Sitting by and watching that shitshow had been absolutely miserable.

Not to mention that she started fucking his uncle.

So, sue me. I took advantage of the fact that he was single and I was single and we were both enjoying ourselves. It was just a kiss, nothing more. But it had been nearly three weeks and each day I could feel him pulling farther and farther away until he stopped texting me altogether.

Gnawing on my bottom lip, I counted to five and stared at my car keys that lay directly in front of me. Stay, go, stay, go. It was just past noon and I knew for a fact that no one would be home other than J. Deran would be at the bar, Baz would be M.I.A. as always, Pope would be doing... whatever Pope did, and Craig would be balls deep in some coked out beach bimbo.

Not taking a second to change my own mind, I grabbed my keys and bolted out the door, practically jogging to my car and speeding to J’s house. If that kiss ruined our friendship then so be it, but I refused to let him shut me out. I deserved an explanation and I deserved a goodbye.

The gate was open when I got there and as I pulled into the driveway I realized the garage was open, too. J’s truck was the only vehicle in the driveway and I smiled, proud of myself for seizing the moment yet again. That smile vanished, though, when I remembered what I was about to do.

Ignoring the ball of anxiety that was quickly forming in my stomach, I took a deep breath and got out, walking through the garage slowly before entering the backyard. The pool was empty and there were no signs of life. I scratched the back of my neck thinking that maybe I’d been wrong. Maybe J had gone to the bar with Deran. Maybe-

“Y/N?”

I turned towards the sliding glass door that led to the kitchen. J was looking at me with furrowed eyebrows, coming outside and closing the door behind him. Wearing his signature faded jeans and white converse paired with a soft looking gray t-shirt, I swallowed, suddenly feeling far less brave.

“Hi...” I trailed off, playing with the rings on my fingers.

“What are you doing here? Why didn’t you call first?” he asked as he slid the door closed behind him.

I looked at him incredulously, suddenly raging mad. “Why didn’t I call? Is that some sort of joke?”

J opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again. Listen, I-”

“No, you listen to me. I get that you regret what happened at the party and that’s fine. We were drunk, it was a mistake. But you’ve been avoiding me for weeks, J. Weeks. Why not just talk to me about it? Why act like I don’t exist?” My voice had raised a few octaves and he looked over his shoulder before glancing at me with wide eyes.

“Lower your voice. Nicky’s inside.”

I laughed hollowly, feeling completely broken. He didn’t care that I was upset, didn’t care about our friendship. He cared about the ex girlfriend that was passed out on his couch. I hated that I was so invested in him, but even more than that? I hated that I’d somehow managed to fall in love with the one boy who was completely unattainable.

I finally shook my head, tears forming in my eyes. “Fine. Have it your way. I’m out.”

“Y/N!” J called after me when I turned on my heel and began walking towards the garage. I felt absolutely humiliated and wanted to get out of there as fast as humanly possible. Eleven years of friendship right drown the drain because he couldn’t get his shit together and act like an adult about a stupid kiss.

“Stupid kiss!” I hissed as I entered the garage. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

“Hey! Can we talk about this, please?”

I abruptly stopped, causing J to slam into my back. His body was hard and I could have gotten lost in it if I wasn’t so damn mad. Turning, I shoved my finger against his chest. “Now you wanna talk? You’ve had three weeks to talk to me about it and guess what? You ghosted me.”

J gave me a pained expression, swallowing. “There’s been some stuff going on with my family.”

“There’s always stuff going on with your family! Don’t hide behind them, J. Don’t you dare stand here and lie to my fucking face!” Tears rolled down my cheeks and I wiped them away angrily, not wanting to give him any leverage over me.

“I understand that you’re upset, but you need to lower your voice.” His voice was low, firm. It shook me to my core.

“You need to go fuck yourself.”

“Y/N...” His jaw clenched so hard that it hollowed out his cheeks. He looked... angry. And hot. So fucking hot.

“And why are you the one that’s so pissed off, huh? You’re the one that’s been avoiding me like some little baby that-”

He stepped forward, invading my space. I could smell the soap on his skin and it made me dizzy. He made me dizzy. "Please don’t cry. I know I’ve been distant, but it’s not because of that kiss. Trust me.”

Still on edge, I shrugged, taking a step back. I needed space, I couldn’t think straight. J was just... intoxicating. He was the kind of boy you could get lost in. Hell, I did get lost in him and look where that got me.

“Fine,” I finally said, crossing my arms over my chest. I couldn’t fight the small amount of triumph that soared through me as I watched J’s eyes travel down to where my crossed arms had pushed my breasts up. “Tell me what’s been going on then.”

His jaw clenched again and my breath hitched. “I... can’t tell you.”

My heart sank. It was excuse after excuse. “Fuck this. I’m out, J. Have fun with Nicky.”

“Don’t do that!” he said with a raised voice as I turned away, preparing to leave. “She’s hungover and sleeping on the couch.”

“I’m sure,” I mumbled over my shoulder. “What a mistake that kiss turned out to be, huh?”

One minute I was walking out of the garage, prepared to go home and have a good cry with my cat. But J wrapped a hand around my arm and hauled me back against him roughly. J was never rough.

There was always an anger brewing just under the surface. I could feel it. J always came off as cool, calm, and collected. But I could feel that anger coming out right now in the way he tightly gripped the inside of my elbow. I hated it and loved it all at once.

He stepped forward, simultaniously pushing me back until I was pinned between him and the metal counter that was pressed against my ass. Our eyes met, held, and I felt my heart slam against my ribcage.

“It wasn’t a mistake.” J said through gritted teeth, his hand still gripping my arm so hard I was sure it would leave a bruise. Not that I minded.

“J...” I trailed off, feeling vulnerable. His hard chest was pressed against mine and his face was so close our noses were practically touching. I could count the freckles on face, see the small scars on his skin. Up close and personal with J Cody.

“Say it wasn’t a mistake.”

“J, I-”

“Say. It.” He spoke through gritted teeth and I clenched my legs, feeling heat pool between them.”

“It wasn’t a mistake.” I whispered.

That was all it took before his mouth crashed against mine in a bruising kiss. I gasped and J took the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth, sliding it along mine. My gasp ended in a moan as I finally snapped out of it and realized what was happening.

My arms snaked up over his shoulders and I laced my fingers behind his neck, pulling him tighter against me as the kiss deepened. I felt drunk on him, heart pounding and skin tingling as he slid his hands through my hair, pulling just hard enough for me to release a noise low in my throat. I looked up at him as he pulled away, our lips still millimeters apart.

“You want me?”

I nodded my head, running my hands through his hair, down his neck, over his chest. I was in awe that this was actually happening again. And we were sober. We had no excuse this time.

“Promise?”

“I promise, J. Just kiss me again. Please, I-”

J cut me off, kissing me again and releasing my hair to cup my jaw between his wide palms, tilting my head just slightly before sighing into my mouth, happy with the slight angle change.

My own hands began to wander, sliding down his chest and over his abdomen, feeling the ridges of his abs as his stomach contracted at my touch. I smiled against his mouth, one hand lazily moving lower, lower still, until I cupped his hard cock in my hand. It was... impressive, to say the least. I was no virgin, but I had to admit that I was slightly intimidated.

J groaned into my mouth and slid his lips over my jaw and down my neck, licking and biting. He stopped at my collarbone and pulled back, reaching down and grabbing the hem of my shirt before tugging it over my head. I was about to do the same to him when I realized where we were.

I squeaked and reached for my shirt, whipping my head back and forth. “Someone could see us!”

He smiled and shook his head, tossing my shirt across the garage. “No one’s here. Trust me.” J reached for me and I pulled back, laughing at how crazy the situation was.

“We can’t do this here.” I laughed.

J arched an eyebrow and stepped forward, reaching behind me and cupping my ass, squeezing hard before lifting me up on the counter. “So, you don’t want me to fuck you? Right here, right now?”

My jaw dropped and my eyes widened. “What?”

J made a face and pulled back, his cheeks turning red. “Shit, was that too much? Should I not have said that?”

I threw my head back and laughed before reaching out, grabbing him by the shirt and yanking him against me, pressing a soft kiss to his pillowy lips. “No, you should definitely say things like that.” I slid my hands under his shirt and pushed it up, revealing the expanse of his torso. He helped me, pulling it over his head and tossing it to the side.

“Never pegged you for a freak,” he said with a laugh. “But I think I can manage.”

“Don’t disappoint me, Cody.”

There wasn’t much talking after that. J quickly rid me of my bra, his hands cupping my breasts, thumbs toying with my nipples. I moaned as they pebbled and it only spurred him on as he leaned down, taking one delicate tip in his mouth and sucking. Hard. He pressed my nipple against the roof of his mouth and I cried out, my hands tangling in his ear and tugging.

“J, J, J,” I moaned, trying to pull him off. I was on sensory overload.

“Shhh,” he cooed when he pulled back, looking up at me with glassy eyes and a swollen mouth. Jesus Christ, I’d never been more attracted to him. At that moment, J could have told me he was selling my soul to Satan and I wouldn’t have cared.

“Fuck me,” I whispered and cupped his hard jaw, pressing my lips to his.

J straightened up and moved between my legs, his fingers toying with the button of my shorts. as he pressed his forehead to mine. “You sure?”

“I’m sure that if you don’t fuck me right now I’m going to actually, literally, physically murder you.”

J laughed before unbuttoning my shorts, tugging them down my legs to reveal the lace pink thong I was wearing.

“Shit...” he breathed, eyes glued to my center. I was wet and I knew he could see it. My face felt hot, I felt exposed. Feeling like I needed to protect myself, I tried to close my legs, but J quickly wedged his hips between them, running his hands up my thighs.

“Don’t hide,” he said against my lips. “It’s just me.”

Yeah, I thought to myself. It’s you. I got lost in the kiss, barely paying attention to the fact that he hooked his fingers into my underwear. J slid them down my legs and the discarded pink lace hung off of one shoe. Not my classiest moment, but I didn’t give a shit.

“J,” I whispered, desperate. “Please.”

He nodded, sliding his left hand up my inner thigh, moving closer and closer to where I needed him most. When I felt his knuckles brush against my clit, I bucked against him, my jaw going slack. He repeated the movement, hyper focused on my face as my body tensed and tightened. My spine stiffened when he slid his middle finger inside me, curving it up so that he brushed against that sweet spot inside me.

I whimpered and buried my face into his neck, biting and sucking his tanned skin as he pressed soft kisses to my bare shoulder.

“So fucking pretty,” he mumbled as he added a second finger, laughing slightly when I jumped at the slight stretch. “God, so good for me. I’ve wanted this for so long.”

My hips began moving and he leaned forward, pushing me back so I was leaned against the wall. J watched as I moved, my entire body wiggling and shifting, my hips moving at their own volition. I couldn’t fucking help it.

I was drowning in him.

“J, please,” I sobbed. A knot was forming in my stomach and I was close, so, so close.

“Come for me,” he murmered as he leaned forward, licking my collarbone and sucking so hard I was sure it would leave a mark.

“No,” I shook my head, my eyes nearly rolling back as his fingers curved up yet again. “I... I want...”

“What do you want?” J looked at my face intently, so focused on the pleasure he was giving me.

“I don’t want to come until you fuck me. Please... I want it to be with you. Please.”

I sounded desperate, pathetic even, and I didn’t care one bit. I needed this and I knew he needed it, too. I needed it like a starving man needed food. I was so wrapped up in J that I truly thought I would burst into tears if he wasn’t inside me within the next sixty seconds.

J nodded his head and pulled his fingers out of me. I whimpered at the loss of contact, slightly hating him for the fact that he’d gotten me so needy.

I watched as he brought the two fingers that were inside me into his mouth, sucking them clean before reaching into his pocket for a condom. “You taste sweet,” he murmered absentmindedly as he unzipped his jeans and shoved them down his thighs just far enough to reveal his cock.

If my jaw could have hit the floor, it would’ve.

J was... huge. Not necessarily long, but so thick. Uncut. It looked hard and heavy, and my mouth watered at the sight of it.

His nimble fingers slipped the condom on and he settled between my legs, cupping my face between his hands. Our eyes met and I nodded. He kept one hand on my face, the other reaching down to line himself up with my entrance.

“Wrap your legs around my waist.”

I did as I was told.

“Higher, Y/N. Up around my ribs a bit, yeah?”

I moved my legs high, feeling like I was more exposed than ever. When I felt his tip at my center, I stopped breathing. J pushed forward slowly, gripping his cock at the base. His brow was furrowed, sweat dripping down his temple as he pushed into me.

“Ah!” I gasped, feeling a slight burn as I stretched around this.

He paused, allowing me to adjust. “You alright?”

I nodded my head, my nostrils flaring as I lifted my hips, wanting more of him.

J kissed my forehead. “That’s m’girl.”

I took a deep breath to try and relax, but on the exhale J jolted his hips forward, forcing his cock into me. I couldn’t help the sharp cry that tore through my throat, my back arching as J wrapped his arms around me, holding me securely against him.

“I’m not gonna move until you tell me,” he whispered against my sweaty skin, his arms around my back and his body half hovering over mine. My body felt like a stick of dynamite that was about to detonate. I couldn’t breathe. J was all around me, surrounding me, sucking me in.

J’s hips shifted slightly in a small thrust and I knew he was struggling. “Move,” I whispered in his ear, my arms wrapped around his shoulders.

J pulled out almost all the way, hands moving down to grip my waist before he thrust back in. Hard. It was so intense I couldn’t even make a sound, my mouth letting out a silent scream. He did it again. And again. And again. Each thrust was harder than the last, his body tightening and tensing every time he sheathed himself to the hilt.

“Fuck,” he whispered gruffly, slowing down and reaching between us, his thumb brushing over my sensitive clit. “Come for me. Ugh, fuck... please.” He was thrusting hard, sloppy, as close to the edge as I was.

I began grinding against him and it was game over. My orgasm hit me like a freight train. My legs tightened around him and I clung to him like I’d die otherwise, crying out against his neck.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God.” Each word was punctuated by a thrust. “J, please. Do it. Come for me.”

Watching J Cody as he came was a thing of beauty. His jaw clenched, his nostrils flared, he left a brusing grip on my hips. But his eyes never left mine, not once. He was with me the whole time, riding it out as his thrusts slowed and his body relaxed. He eventually sagged against me, resting his forehead against my chest and kissing the place between my breasts while I ran my fingers through his hair.

“This changes things, huh?” I asked, suddenly nervous that we’d ruined a decade old friendship.

J finally pulled away from me, slipping out of me. I was cold and exposed, my body stiff. He noticed.

“This doesn’t change anything,” he responded as he took the underwear that was dangling off my shoe and adjusted it, slipping the lace up my legs. I hopped off the counter, helping him. “We’re still best friends. Now we’re just... more.” He ran his fingers through my freshly fucked looking hair.

I nodded my head, leaning up and kissing him softly. It was as though I needed a reminder that it had actually happened, that we happened.

We were so lost in the moment that I didn’t hear someone come into the garage, popping the beautiful bubble we’d been stuck in.

“What the fuck is this?” Nicky was already shouting.

Here. We. Go.

#J Cody #Josh Cody #Animal Kingdom #Finn Cole #Animal Kingdom tnt #michael gray #smut #one shot #fanfic #finn

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twentyonepilotsficlibrary · 6 years

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Miscellaneous Fandoms Fic Rec Masterlist

This is something new we’re trying out. In our admin group chat we all started talking about our other fandoms/pairings we read and thought it might be fun to share some of our favorite fics.

I know not everyone will be into this idea but i think it’s easily ignored if it’s not your cup of tea. Otherwise we hope you enjoy this mess of fics, maybe you’ll find yourself a new pairing, or maybe you’ll get inspired to write Joshler.

we hope you enjoy!

**this will be a long post**

Madi’s recs

Teen Wolf - Sterek (Stiles Stilinski & Derek Hale)

Cornerstone by Vendelin (6/6 | 83738 | Explicit)

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

//PTSD //anxiety attacks

No Homo by orphan_account (12/12 | 84092 | Explicit)

Stiles' sophomore year starts something like this: 3 FourLokos + 1 peer-pressuring cat - 1 best bro to end all best bros = 1 Craigslist ad headline that reads "str8 dude - m4m - strictly platonic". Derek is the fool who replies.

//internalized homophobia

We Got Claws by Onlymystory (15/15 | 34914 | Mature)

Peter, Isaac, and Scott get de-aged. Stiles and Derek take care of them.

Harry Potter - Drarry (Harry Potter & Draco Malfoy)

Open For Repairs by FeelsForBreakfast (1/1 | 34901 | Mature)

After the war, Draco works at a tv repair shop and Harry breaks things.

feat. sad boys in jumpers and more ABBA than is probably necessary

There's a Pure-Blood Custom For That byLomonaaeren (36/36 | 105549 | Mature)

The day that Harry stops Draco Malfoy and his son from being bothered in the middle of Diagon Alley starts a strange series of interactions between him and Malfoy. Who knew there was a pure-blood custom for every situation?

Transfigurations by Resonant (1/1 | 71284 | Explicit)

Five years after Voldemort's defeat, Harry returns to England to help re-open Hogwarts.

//major character death

IT - Reddie (Richie Tozier & Eddie Kaspbrak)

Yours Truly by Buttercup12 (14/14 | 51414 | Mature)

Eddie Kaspbrak has it bad. He’s bullied for being a tiny, delicate, hypochondriac boy. He’s also bullied for being very, very, very gay. Long story short, his life isn’t the easiest.

However, that’s all a piece of cake when compared to his gigantic, pathetic crush on Derry High’s most popular and oh so very straight Trashmouth, Richie Tozier.

Richie has no idea he even exists.

Right?

Wrong.

ugly moon by weepies (27/27 | 79482 | Teen and Up)

Richie Tozier hasn’t spoken a word to anybody since he came to Derry in the middle of the school year. Until he talks to Eddie Kaspbrak.

//abuse mention

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Christie’s recs

Harry Potter - Drarry (Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter)

Turn by Saras_Girl (14/14 | 306,708 | Explicit)

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound (16/16 | 149,549 | Explicit)

Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

South Park - Creek (Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak)

Do Not Try This At Home by Marasa (6/? | 32,100 | Mature)

A post is made that night detailing the rules of their arrangement:

• Video must be taken of the event.

• Video must be uploaded.

• Turns will be taken; after one group uploads, the other must upload as answer to the original post. This ensures equal stunts and higher expectations with each stunt.

• Don’t half-ass it; this is a fucking competition!

//depression //anxiety //past abuse //drug use

The Roommate by DoAsYouWill (27/? | 277,882 | Mature)

Craig is off to college, where he is introduced to the weirdest person he's ever met. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, (Craig can't decide), that weirdest person is his roommate.

Just your typical cliche 'meet as roommates' story, but with a lot of nostalgic undertones.

Deadpool - Cablepool (Wade Wilson/Nathan Summers)

Incognito by CQHD (Comet_Kohoutek) (2/2 | 5,810 | Explicit)

Deadpool introduces Cable to porn.

The video, Deadpool realises belatedly, is way too quiet. There's no cheesy bass line that gets stuck in his head and makes him feel each pulse in his dick. There's just the soft rustling of clothes against skin as the man strips. It's got an aesthetic to it, but it doesn't stop Deadpool from hearing the catch in Cable's breath once the man steps out of his underwear and crawls on to the desk.

Toaster by edy (1/1 | 3,339 | Mature)

If someone were to strap you in and measure your heart rate, it wouldn't be a surprise to anyone to find it'd be beating in time with his own heart. The notion is meant to be romantic, as is customary in romances, and you think it might be romantic if an uneven heart rate wasn't a sign of a serious health condition.

//suicidal thoughts

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Sydney’s Recs

South Park

Do Not Try This At Home by Marasa (6/? || 32,100 || Mature)

A post is made that night detailing the rules of their arrangement:

• Video must be taken of the event.

• Video must be uploaded.

• Turns will be taken; after one group uploads, the other must upload as answer to the original post. This ensures equal stunts and higher expectations with each stunt.

• Don’t half-ass it; this is a fucking competition!

// depression, anxiety, past abuse, drug use

A Perfect Love Like Craig and Tweek by ugandadistrict9 (1/1 || 3,783 || Teen and Up Audiences)

Tweek and Craig have been close for a few years, and everyone says that they’re dating, but Craig has neither confirmed or denied it. Tweek has developed strong feelings for Craig over the time, but is worried that Craig doesn’t feel the same way he does.

Homicidal Maniac by Maroonedpunk (3/3 || 17,654 || Teen and Up Audiences)

They called him a homicidal maniac for years.

Then came the allegations against the coffee shop.

Tweek can’t do this by himself.

// depression, anxiety, drug use, mental illness

Spirit Animals by hollycomb (1/1 || 22,191 || Not Rated)

Cartman wants to film his amateur ghost hunting show at the site of the grisly McCormick massacre. Stan hates the idea but he can’t stay away, because Kyle will be there.

✓✓ Read by Boyue (16/16 || 65,196 || Teem and Up Audiences)

WENDY Nice picture but you have the wrong number.

AKA how Stan Marsh met Kyle Broflovski through a dick pic mishap.

// depression, alcoholism, derogatory language

Detriot: Become Human (Gavid Reed/RK900)

Chrysopoeian Heart by feistymuffin (6/? || 22,826 || Explicit)

Chrysopoeia - the act of transmuting a substance into gold

Gavin doesn’t like androids… but then again, nothing’s written in stone.

// graphic depictions of violence

Still by Terminallydepraved (1/1 || 4,277 || Explicit)

Sometimes it takes someone else nearly dying to make you realize the important things.

Life sucks, but in a beautiful kind of way by ConsultingStag (5/6 || 7701 || Mature)

Gavin stares at RK900 and regrets it immediately as its gray gaze bores into him. LED spinning yellow. Dissecting what happened. Analyzing the clues in front of it. And then a perfectly fake eyebrow lifts and equally fake lips twitch into a tiny smirk and Gavin knows that he is fucked.

----------------------

Cade’s Recs

Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia - Macdennis (Mac/Dennis Reynolds)

a beachfront of bad blood by castielanderson (1/1 | 28,366 | Mature)

or alternatively “Dennis Tries to Kill Himself: MacDennis Remix” Originally for the 2017 MacDennis Big Bang, but alas

They don’t have a falling out so much as a slowly drifting apart. Being a dad makes Dennis tired, so tired sometimes he feels like he might never have energy again, and that means that he stops checking in with Mac as often. Eventually, they stop talking. Mac gets a boyfriend. Dennis stops taking his medication.

After Dennis attempts suicide, Mandy insists he return to Philadelphia with the gang, and she will follow with Brian Jr. when she can. Faced with an unwanted recovery, a failed family, and feelings he would rather ignore, Dennis is forced to navigate uncharted waters within himself and within his relationship with Mac.

//rape/non-con //suicide attempt //self-harm //eating disorders //depression

Fullmetal Alchemist - Royed (Edward Elric/Roy Mustang)

Reverti Ad Praeteritum by Batsutousai (30/30 | 288,908 | Mature)

Unwillingly forced to serve as a human trial for a crazy alchemist experimenting with time travel, Edward Elric finds himself standing across from Truth in the moment it takes his leg from him. Armed with the knowledge of what's to come and burdened with guilt for the choices he'd made as an adult, Ed sets out to fix every mistake he ever made and save every life they ever lost, no matter what it takes.

//underage //implied/referenced dubious consent //violence

Know the Difference by ShanaStoryteller (1/1 | 9,083 | Teen)

“You’ve heard the rumors,” Mustang says, looking at Ed over the top of his latest report, “about the angels.”

Ed scoffs and rolls his eyes, “Angels don’t exist, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Of course, of course,” he murmurs, gaze sliding back down, “There have been multiple eye witness accounts, however.”

Ed slouches into the chair and doesn’t bother to keep the contempt to from his voice when he says, “Don’t depend on anything with wings to save you. Things that were made to leave always end up doing so, in the end.”

“Yes, well,” he says, “sometimes they come back.”

a terrifying clamour of trumpets by ShanaStoryteller (1/1 | 12,194 | Teen)

Edward grabs Marcoh’s arm and says, “That stone – what can it heal, exactly?”

The old man’s eyebrows rise to his forehead, and he looks like he already knows the answer when he goes, “Why do you ask, Edward?”

There's no metallic footsteps so there’s no way Al’s close enough to hear them. “I’m sick,” he admits after another moment of deliberation.

The Codeine Scene by Xyriath (31/31 | 111,257 | Explicit)

After finding himself entangled with King Bradley's gang of criminals and no way out, Roy Mustang must struggle between balancing his morals and the need to keep himself alive. He walks a thin rope, and a chance meeting of a young man, addicted to drugs and forced into prostitution, complicates matters further. By all rights, he should consider Edward to be collateral damage, an unfortunate bystander in his already difficult situation, but this is one person Roy soon finds he can't leave behind.

//rape/non-con //forced prostitution //drug addiction //mentions of suicide //mentions of depression

Fullmetal Alchemist - Edling (Edward Elric/Ling Yao)

Nothing Gold by Rydia (ungarmax) (1/1 | 22,219 | Teen)

Ling has gained immortality. Ed has not.

//major character death

----------------------

Bard’s Recs

Bastille - Dyle (Dan Smith/Kyle Simmons)

and in the morning you'll be stranded in love (it goes around and around)by brujay (1/1 | 15,717 | Teen)

“Have you seen Groundhog Day?”

Kyle took a moment before replying. “I have… what exactly are you trying to say, here?”

Dan sighed again. “I think I’m living it.” Dan gets trapped in a time loop, and he is not having a good time.

//panic attacks

argonautica orpheus by trailsofpaper (Sanwall) (note: it is private, you can only read if you have an account but it’s too good to not share) (6/6 | 17,478 | M)

Kyle, like Jason on the Argos, sets out on a journey to retrieve something important but, more importantly, he finds love along the way. Dan, unlike Orpheus, doesn’t look back.

(Dan and Kyle are flatmates in Leeds, but when Kyle wrecks his keyboard a week before he and Dan are about to enter a competition, they need to go to London to get another keyboard. Complications and even shenanigans ensue.)

Harry Potter - Drarry (Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter)

He Who Must Not Be Normal by lettered (1/1 | 40,913 | Explicit)

Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t. Instead it has Indian takeaway and a blue jumper and people wanting a whole lot of what they can’t have, discovering themselves as they discover each other.

All Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl (4/4 | 114,741 | M)

Professor Malfoy's world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.

Buzzfeed Unsolved - Shyan (Shane Madej/Ryan Bergara)

i think i'm still turning out by the_tenerife_sea (1/1 | 6,325 | General)

Shane is starting to think Ryan is using him for his baby, considering how much he’s already talked her up to all of their coworkers and friends. ____

Or the one where Shane is a new parent, and Ryan is always there for him (and his daughter, of course).

#admin favorites #miscellaneous fandoms fic rec masterlist #masterlist

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catching-up-on-comic-books · 5 years

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Binge Reading Journal - November 13, 2018 - the tenth day of reading Marvel’s Dark Reign (Part 3)

Secret Invasion- Requiem

Now they reprint Court-Martial by Jim Shooter (boy genius writer), Bob Hall (an underrated penciler), Dan Green on inks and Janice Chiang on Letters. This story was first featured in Avengers #213 in 1981 featuring the smack heard ‘round the world.

Hank Pym, now working under the name of Yellowjacket, is standing in front of Iron Man, Thor and Captain America. All in full uniform in their private mansion where no one can see, or get in or out. BUT this is a serious matter. Full uniform must be worn! Iron Man says that Cap has leveled some serious charges against Yellowjacket. Thor lets him know that if the accusations are true he will face formal court-martial! Thor wants the record to show that he and Iron Man are presiding as judges.....wait wait wait. These are just a bunch of dudes wearing really tight clothes in a swanky clubhouse. There’s no military sanction. Tony Stark is footing the bill (through the Maria Stark Foundation) so they can run around and smash things!

According to the Marvel Database, they’re a non-profit organization like the American Red Cross or Habitat for Humanity, recognized by the National Security Council of the US and the UN as a peacekeeping organization, ain’t nobody being court-martialed....pppsshhhh. Just be all like, “Hank you’re a jerk! Here are your things and go away.”

Well, these boys are going to go through this farce anyway. Cap states that the day before, during a mission where he was fighting a mysterious woman attacking Washington D.C. He managed to convince her to stop when Yellowjacket shot her in the back, which caused her to continue fighting. Iron Man asks for an explanation to which he has none. His own personal thoughts, legible in a bubble to the reader shows him thinking that he was a jerk and acted over eagerly to be the star on his first mission since rejoining the team.

Thor (who’s not really pretending at any of this because he actually is a Norse god) says they will convene for three days until the formal court-martial (hahahah) and suspends Hank until then so hand over your Avengers ID Card, Hank!

Hank pleads a little at this but Iron Man reminds him the rules, which he helped write, are firm on this.

I don’t think The Salvation Army has ever court-martialed anyone and they call themselves an army!

Janet is in the hallway outside the court-martial ichamber. Tigra asks why so down? Tigra, by the way is hanging from one of the rafters in the ceiling because it helps her relax. She wonders why Janet is so hung up on that strange guy anyway. Can we remind 2008 Future Tigra, who’s having Skrull-Hank babies, she thought Hank was strange in 1981?

Hank leaves the room and practically shoves Janet aside, telling her to leave him alone when she asks how he is. He immediately regrets it an apologizes before she walks away. She comes in for an embrace and say sweet consoling things to each other. TIgra doesn’t get it.

As the other founding members go their separate ways, each one remembers their own mistakes from the past.

Cap recalls when, during a heated battle against Nazi soldiers, he reacted to a noise behind him and instinctively threw his shield. It was a little girl, an orphan, collecting the brass shells for money. He barely missed hitting her when she bent down to pick up a shell. Cap realizes that he nearly made the same mistake as Hank.

Iron Man is going over Hank’s files and pictures, As a founding member his history is tied in closely with the Avengers’ history. However, Hank never really seemed to settle in, taking on guises such as Giant-Man and Goliath. Tony feels that Hank always felt outclassed by himself and Iron Man, so he’d leave the team to try to come up with some scientific breakthrough to prove himself. One of those wound up being Ultron, the Avengers’ greatest enemy. Then he had an accident in the lab which triggered a mental breakdown. That’s when he started calling himself Yellowjacket. However, the schizophrenia was cured (can’t be cured.)

Schizophrenia, and other mental disorders are a pulp fiction trope, used to explain away erratic behavior. It is usually used by writers with very little understanding of the actual condition. Actually, a rigorous new definition of schizophrenia was fashioned for the ''Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Third Edition,'' or ''DSM-III,'' which was published by the American Psychiatric Association in 1980.

Nevertheless, Hank and Janet got married. As Iron Man continues reminiscing, he recalls how Ultron returned and forced him to create Jocasta from Janet’s brain waves. Iron Man wonders if Hank will ever stop looking for redemption. Is it fair to turn away from a friend who needs help, should he be punished for a mistake anyone of them could have made?

Janet and Hank head home, Janet stopping to sign autographs for fans waiting outside the mansion, none recognizing Yellowjacket. They head to their residence in Cresskill, New Jersey. (Did he always live there? Should I redo my ant speed calculations from that earlier issue?) Ah wait, their butler and other staff greet Janet like she’s the Queen of England and Hank is something she stepped in. She’s the rich one, inherited her father’s wealth which he made from science, with all his alien teleportation stuff. Not a lot of scientists manage to get rich. Usually the career path of a scientist is to become tenured at a university, write a lot of books and speaking engagements, they manage to make a decent living. Usually they work for companies and universities collecting meager salaries for the opportunity to science.

If a scientist manages to discover something, and patent it and comes up with a practical use for it, then there is an opportunity to become rich from it. A couple of rich, like Craig Ventner. Dr. Ventner, much like Hank Pym, is a biotechnologist, biochemist and geneticist. He was involved in mapping the human genome. Then he founded, Celera Genomics, institute for Genomic Research and the J. Craig Ventner Institute and Human Longevity, Inc.

At Celera, Ventner and his colleagues completed sequencing the human genome (Ventner’s genome specifically) three years ahead of schedule, beating the government funded Human Genome Project (your taxes at work.) Ventner’s discoveries, patents and stock ownership in the companies he’s founded made him very rich. Forbes estimates that his net worth (as of 2017) based on his stakes on two of his startups is about $300 million.

It seems like taking some real world examples, there’s some untapped story ideas to mine; what did Janet Van Dyne’s father discover and patent that made him rich and how has it impacted the world; how can Pym cash in on his own discoveries (not to mention Reed Richards, Hank McCoy, etc.).

Janet tries to get Hank into the bedroom, but he takes the laboratory over the seductive advances of his wife.

Hank admits he hates going to the lab because it reminds him of his failures, except there is one success he’s had in the lab: Robotics (wait, no that never turns out well.

Cut to three days later, Tigra is asleep in her private quarters, Bob Hall draws her in the nude but all the naughty bits are tastefully covered. She wakes up to the sound of Jarvis approaching her door. Jim Shooter makes it a point to say she slipped on a satiny negligee. It’s like the only reason Tigra was created was to get some weird furry fantasy going for the readers. A startled Jarvis, who’s never owned a cat apparently or else he wouldn’t be surprised by her behavior, is presenting Tigra with her first weekly stipend check.

She is surprised to learn that the Avengers get paid a salary. He clarifies that it is a modest stipend to cover living expenses, which most Avengers traditionally refuse, he adds in a snidely way. Hmmmm. Let’s see....Black Panther is the king of his own country so mega-rich; Thor, Prince of Asgard, so rich he doesn’t even need money; Captain America, probably collecting a lot of military back pay. See, Jarvis, most Avengers refuse the stipend because they’re already rich; not because they are doing it out of the goodness of their hearts.

He continues to economically shame her by pointing out that those that do accept the stipend are the ones that live at the mansion and have no outside means of support. Tigra finally gets a chance to read it and notices it is for one thousand dollars. Which in 1983, like $2,534.53 today or $131, 795.56 a year. That is a pretty good haul on top of room and board for Tigra.

Jarvis reminds her that the court-martial is at four o’clock that day. Meanwhile, Tony Stark is making an excuse to leave a board meeting at Stark International Headquarters, because writers think the best way to show a busy CEO is at a board meeting (not true, board meetings occur maybe just once a year unless there is an emergency, trope alert)

Thor finishes up some surgery but leaves the cleaning up for his colleagues, who grouse at Blake leaving (oh, sorry at this time, Thor is still using the Don Blake alter ego) for them to clean up despite being the best surgeon ever.

Captain America, already in the Avengers library and in full uniform, is wondering if he will have the courage to look Hank in the eye even though it is the most difficult thing he’s ever done. More difficult than watching Bucky die on that rocket? More difficult than giving up your Captain America identity to become Nomad? Well, we all chose our own cross to bear.

Speaking of crosses to bear, a few hours earlier, Janet hasn’t seen Hank since they came home three days earlier. She decides to go check on him in the lab. Finding the door locked, she shrinks down and squeezes in to the door crack to discover Hank putting in the final touches of programming of the robot, which will allow it to target each Avenger by their brain waves. Which it does as o soon as it senses Jan in the room. Hank is infuriated, Accusing Jan of spying on him. Hank explains he has built a robot called Salvation 1 and she’s going to help him test it out. It grabs Jan but her sting is useless against it. He explains it is built out of Adamantium. Ok, so according to the Marvel Database:

Creating even a small amount of Adamantium is astronomically expensive, and only a few people know the complete formula. Adamantium is created by mixing certain chemical resins together. The exact composition of these resins is a closely guarded secret of the United States government. When these resins are mixed and kept at a temperature of 1,500 degrees Fahrenheit, the resulting liquid can be cast or worked into a particular shape. After an eight minute 'flux period', the mixture sets and becomes solid regardless of temperature. Its molecular structure is extremely stable, and its shape can only be altered by precise molecular rearrangement.

So I don’t know how Hank had enough Adamantium lying around to build a 15 foot tall battle robot he just conceived three days prior. He designed Sal with a secret weak spot that will shut down the robot with one well-placed stinger shot, thus making him a hero when Sal attacks the Avengers. That’s the plan at least. But Janet won’t let him go through with it.

There it is.

On Jim Shooter’s website, he posted on March 29, 2011:

In that story (issue 213, I think), there is a scene in which Hank is supposed to have accidentally struck Jan while throwing his hands up in despair and frustration—making a sort of “get away from me” gesture while not looking at her. Bob Hall, who had been taught by John Buscema to always go for the most extreme action, turned that into a right cross! There was no time to have it redrawn, which, to this day has caused the tragic story of Hank Pym to be known as the “wife-beater” story.

So, henceforth Hank Pym is known as a wife beater.

Let’s cut to the court-martial proceedings. Captain America states his case: Yellowjacket shot a hostile in the back. Hank has never been know to act cowardly so the act was a case of misjudgment. It is tempting to write off as a mistake since any one of them can make the same error.

However, as an Avenger they cannot. An error by any one of them can result in the loss of lives. They have a tremendous responsibility and thus must judge themselves harshly.

I bet one can look back at previous issues of the Avengers, or Iron Man or Cap, or Thor and find situations and scenarios where they’ve all made costly mistakes like Hank Pym. Alas, this can’t turn into a retrospective of the Avengers.

Iron Man asks Hank how he pleads or if he wishes to defend himself. Hank pleads not guilty. His argument is that although his mistake may have seemed treacherous but he wondered if Cap ever considered treachery from the enemy. His actions may have actually saved lives! Perhaps because the enemy was a beautiful woman, perhaps Cap liked her! Like Liked her! That’s why Cap is upset, because Hank hurt her!

Everyone is feeling second-hand embarrassment at this point. Iron Man asks him to stop. Hank asks Janet to back up her story. She lowers her sunglasses and reveals a shiner. Thor is shocked, wondering if Hank actually hit her. Hank goes for the remote control to summon Salvation 1. Janet pleads to him to not do it.

Sal bursts through the wall (kind of hilariously, no disrespect to Bob Hall, but considering the statement Shooter made on his blog post, about Hall being trained by Buscema to always go for the drama, it kind of comes off as comedic. Iron Man being flipped upside down, Tigra kind of in a Bugs Bunny pose, Yellowjacket exclaiming “Ah!” In faux surprise.

When Thor strikes it with his Mjolnir without any effect, Janet let’s them know it’s made out of (very expensive and rare) Adamantium and Hank built it and designed it to destroy them. Hank realizes Sal is way too brutal and may actually defeat everyone. He goes for the super secret shut off switch but Sal throws him against the wall. Sal grabs Hank in his giant pincer claws, crushing him when Janet runs up and shoots the switch with her stinger, deactivating Salvation 1.

Hank, shamefully leaves.

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cheylouwho · 6 years

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South Park: The affect of Abuse and ACEs on Behavior

One thing that’s been a hot topic in the SP fandom as of late is the discussion of how the behavior (both past and present) of the child characters are affected by the experiences we’ve seen/heard about in canon. Today we’re going to talk a little about three of the most damning cases; Cartman, Tweek and Butters.

Disclaimer 1: This analysis will contain several mentions of childhood trauma such as abuse, neglect and sexual relations. Please be mindful that you have been warned.

Disclaimer 2: This is for the sake of analysis and application of knowledge that I (and those in the SP analysis discord) have. We are in no way professionals. I am only a preschool teacher so my knowledge in the field of abuse and neglect is limited to what I’ve been taught and what I have witnessed/experienced. Please take the speculation with a grain of salt… maybe even the whole shaker. Just dump it in your mouth and enjoy almost 4,000 words of fully sourced “its not that deep, fam”.

Preface: What We Know about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

Before we can really dive into this whole thing, we need to discuss ACEs. These are, to put it simply, traumatic events that occur during childhood that can have lasting effects on a person’s social/emotional, cognitive and even physical development well into adulthood. They’re mostly used for identifying children/people at risk and for research. It’s pretty interesting how that’s done, so I implore you to research more if you’re curious. These experiences can include:

Physical abuse

Sexual abuse

Emotional abuse

Physical neglect

Emotional neglect

Intimate partner violence

Mother treated violently

Substance misuse within household

Household mental illness

Parental separation or divorce

Incarcerated household member

(Source)

Given we’re talking about Cartman, Butters and Tweek, I think you can see why I bring this up. Taking a look at this list and the canon evidence we have in show, it’s easy to say that they’ve all experienced some of these traumas. Two more important things from the source article should also be noted for the sake of this analysis:

ACEs cluster. Almost 40% of the Kaiser sample reported two or more ACEs and 12.5% experienced four or more. Because ACEs cluster, many subsequent studies now look at the cumulative effects of ACEs rather than the individual effects of each.

ACEs have a dose-response relationship with many health problems. As researchers followed participants over time, they discovered that a person’s cumulative ACEs score has a strong, graded relationship to numerous health, social, and behavioral problems throughout their lifespan, including substance use disorders.

“Chey, what the fuck are you on about? This doesn’t make sense!” you might be saying. To truly understand how these ACEs apply to these three kids and how they affect their behavior, let’s take a look at them on a case by case basis.

Cartman’s Case

Eric Cartman is probably the most interesting child in terms of applying the ACEs checklist, as well as other knowledge about abuse and neglect affects on children. We know, from canon, that Cartman lives with his single mother. He’s a low-income family. His mother has been/may still be a sex worker. He’s is very inclined to violence and seems obsessed with sexual topics. It’s very interesting to note that towards the beginning of the series, while evidences were present, Cartman was a lot more innocent. As the show went on and some of these ACE experiences actually happened in building canon, it’s worn on him and shaped him in real time into the character we know today.

ACE 1: Sexual Abuse. It’s been strongly implied that Cartman has been sexually abused.Here is a not-so-short list of examples from the fanon wiki (source). It’s long winded and detailed, so here are a few notable points (as well as some that I’ve added myself).

Engaged in inappropriate/sexual behavior for his age, such as “touching wieners” with one of his cousins (le petit tourette), giving handjobs (Fat Butt and Pancake Head), insisting on measuring penises of his classmates (TMI), putting Butters’ penis in his mouth (Cartman Sucks)

Has been sexually abused by his mother/because of his mother (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)

Has been abused by several adult men ON SCREEN (The Simpsons Already Did It, Cripple Fight, Cartman Joins NAMBLA, AWESOM-O, The Return of Chef, It’s A Jersey Thing)

There’s also the strong point that Cartman has come to associate sex/love as something undesired, humiliating or painful. Again, the wiki wonderfully spells these out, but I’ll summarize. Cartman constantly treats any form of sexual or romantic relations as rape and assault. One example is in the Coon and Friends trilogy, he believes a woman having a consensual relationship with a man in the park is being “raped” and needs to be saved. Another example is his expressed sadness at the New Kid’s “dad fucked your mom” backstory in FBW. Another one that is not often touched upon in his reaction to Tweek and Craig’s fight in Tweek X Craig, in which he exclaims wholeheartedly that the two of them getting into an alteration is “sex” and seems intrigued to watch what’s going to happen. He also uses sex as a form of humiliation. I’m sure this is common knowledge at this point but his infatuation with making Kyle suck his balls in Imaginationland but also in his culmination of Butters’ photographical humiliation (AKA, sticking his penis in his mouth).

It’s not talked about on the ACEs website, but children who are sexually abused are likely to exhibit disdain (but interest) in sexual relations and acting sexually mature for their age.

ACE 2 and 3: Emotional abuse and neglect. Now, before I start this, you’re probably going to say, “BUT CHEY! Liane loves and dotes on Cartman! That’s why he’s spoiled!” Boy, do I hear you, but I’m going to explain myself. While Liane does spoil Cartman to hell and back, I’d like to argue that it’s empty. Liane may often tell Cartman she loves him, she also uses tactics such as bribery (food and other things Cartman likes), neglect (Cartman has said in canon, and she’s admitted herself, to being too busy to deal with him due to being a single parent), and also exposes him to things he should not be exposed to (sex, drugs). She treats him like a friend or a companion rather than her son (Tsst) which allows Cartman to have free reign. But free reign is not always out of love and care. I’d like to argue a lot of Cartman’s power is from lack of parenting and involvement in his life.I’m sorry if this part isn’t phrased too well; I had a hard time articulating it.

This may also be why Cartman has such a mixed relationship with his mother. He’s fed the idea that things are okay and great, that nothing is wrong, and he literally eats it up. He’s not outwardly talkative about what goes on at home, and when he is, he seems to regret it immediately. His disdain for his mom may not be purely “selfish greedy child”, but completely justified “abused child”. As phrased wonderfully by one of our server members, “that’s why he calls her a bitch and all those kinds of things yet still protecting her whenever they try to rip on Liane. Because that’s the kind of love he’s used to.”

Furthermore, consider the situation around Cartman’s birth. Liane was young, drunk and the town “slut” (their words, not mine). Cartman’s father’s identity had to be hidden and there’s no doubt that took a tole on her. I’d imagine being a young, single mother is not the path she wanted for herself. I tend to think of it as a cycle- Liane doesn’t want to deal with her child due to his behavior so she checks out of the situation, actually making Cartman’s behavior worse and so on and so on. Another possibly related scene could be in “Cartman’s Mom Is A Dirty Slut”, when she still outwardly seeks an abortion for her 8 year old son.

On a slightly unrelated note, this may also be one of the reasons for Cartman’s infatuation with Kyle. He seems to mistake the traits of abuse/neglect (anger, fighting, etc) as love due to how his mother treats him. This is why he thinks Kyle enjoys his company/likes him as a friend despite how much Kyle pushes back.

Other likely ACES: Witnessing intimate partner violence (his mother is a sex worker and he’s claimed to have been in the room during these acts), mother treated violently (FBW’s little Liane arc gives me bad vibes), substance abuse within household (I forget which episodes specifically but Liane’s done drugs), parent separation or divorce (absent father figure).

Cartman’s Conclusion:

Cartman has a grand total of SEVEN potential ACEs. The reason why I started those two additional facts at the start of this is because they are culminating (several often pop up and are related to each other) and affect behavior and relationships. Cartman’s behavior, while obnoxious and impulsive at best and downright despicable at worst, can be somewhat explained by the experiences he’s faced. Abuse, neglect and sexual assault have led him to search for forms of power and control in his life, whether that be over himself, his mother or his friends. His views of the world are shaped by what he’s seen and felt. Unlike Tweek, however, he doesn’t have much of a support system, and with the “sugarcoating” under the guise of love and care, he’s less likely to get the help he needs. His risks for childhood and subsequently adulthood are very high.

Butters’ Case

Butter’s is your stereotypical abused child in terms of his behavior and coping mechanisms. I believe that even casual show-watchers would agree that he’s in some deep shit. Unlike Cartman who is a lot more nuanced about displaying what he’s experienced, Butters is naive and innocent and resilient. He easily follows what others (CARTMAN) ask of him. He assumes a more submissive role in his life, working hard to make others happy and put them first to avoid trouble. He’s an easy target for bullying and being humiliated or used. He says things out loud without noticing their implications to what has happened to him.

Unlike Liane who covers her (probably unintentional) neglect with the guise of love, he has no such outward statements from either parent. The closest we get is “this is for your own good”, but there is no loving undertone, it’s purely corporeal. Their abuse is right in his face; it’s physical, it’s mental, it’s terrible. Steven Stotch is the primary abuser, and while Linda has done her fair share of harm, she’s generally more passive. She even states in Grounded Vindaloop that she “lets [Steven] handle the grounding”. Steven Stotch, as of FBW, is also a victim of abuse, showing that he’s perpetrating it in a cycle (you’ll notice this theme a few times in this little essay).

It’s clear as of season 20 that the effects of constant abuse have finally worn on Butters, due to his angry outbursts and sudden shift in attitude (if you want to look at it from a character standpoint and not as lazy writing cough cough). He’s hit a breaking point in what he can take, and the more he’s been exposed to his ACEs (like Cartman’s case) the more behaviorally challenged he’s become.

Another aspect to consider is his relationship with Cartman. Both share similar ACEs, but cope with them in different ways. Cartman chooses to be a controller to earn back what he’s lost, while Butters is more suited to take a backseat and follow. This is why they, despite having a very dysfunctional friendship, stick together. It may appear that Cartman is the only one benefiting, but I believe it’s more mutualistic based on their respective coping mechanisms.

ACE 1: Physical Abuse. Butters has been shown to be physically abused time and time again by Steven. He’s been hit, talked about being hit, and the biggest piece of evidence that scares the shit out of me personally is that Steven pulled off his belt and prepared to hit Butters in front of his classmates in Grounded Vindaloop. Corporal punishment has been shown time and time again to be detrimental to children’s psyc, which aligns given how Butters acts.

ACE 2: Sexual Abuse. Butters has mentioned in The Return Of Chef that he has been sexually abused by his uncle, which does not surprise me in the slightest. Butters, unlike Cartman, goes the total opposite direction of how to cope with this sort of experience; he’s blissfully unaware of what has happened and rather than let it consume him (ex. cartman) he brushes it off as no big deal. Whether this means he is truly unaware of the connotations of what was done to him or if he’s purposely repressing it is unclear, but the evidence is there that it did happen.

ACE 3 and 4: Emotional Abuse and Neglect. This one is abundant in examples. Steven appears to play a lot of mind games with Butters, whether it’s demanding he stop having nightmares (The Death of Eric Cartman), getting in trouble for looking a certain way (How To Eat With Your Butt and The List), or simply for being bullied. They constantly ground him for things that he has no control over, simple mistakes or things that he was not even involved in. I believe that Steven, similar to Cartman, takes the helplessness from childhood abuse and hurts Butters in order to feel in control of himself.

Other Possible ACEs: Household mental illness could be argued as one of the ACEs Butters experiences, although not officially confirmed in canon. I do believe that Linda has some form of mental illness due to her behavior in Butters Own Episode. Although not listed in the article, Steven’s infidelity and the tension that causes on his and Linda’s marriage is also a potential ACE, especially given that Butters was directly exposed to that whole fiasco.

Butters’ Conclusion:

Butters’ innocence is likely a form of coping mechanism for what he’s encountered during his life. Constant physical and mental abuse have worn on him over the years, turning him more bitter and forcing him to act out. I believe this also can be accredited to his mental break in season 19’s “Safe Space”, as this is the big start of his downward spiral. Unlike Cartman, there is no cover-up for his abuse being simply that- abuse- so being able to divorce himself and his emotions will be easier for him if he were to receive support or help in some form.

Tweek’s Case

Tweek is an interesting case because while he does have emotional abuse, neglect and and forced substance abuse (coffee and/or meth addiction), he also has canon mental illness that exists outside of how he’s treated. The abuse and neglect of his parents only amplify the effects of said illness. I’ve had a selection of anons over time talk about his potential (though not confirmed) mental state, most agreeing it’s some form of panic disorder (the Tweaks claim it’s ADD, but this is really just a load of bullshit and we all know it). He is often exploited by his parents (ex. “Having a homosexual son is good for the business” in FBW) or outright lied to for the sake of business. They often brush off his worries or ignore him completely.

ACEs 1 and 2: Emotional Abuse and Neglect (EXPLOITATION). The Tweak family are no strangers to emotional abuse and neglect. Right from Tweek’s character introduction, we know something isn’t quite right. His parents feed him excessive coffee, which is later revealed to be laced with meth (did you know that meth increases body temperature, as well as caffeine overdose raising heart rate and induces anxiety? (X) Would you look at that evidence). They also frequently blackmail him into work through the threat of “selling him into slavery”.

His defining traits are usually watered down to “spaz”, and more recently, “homosexual”, hinting that his parents really don’t pay much attention to him to know much more than that. They either ignore or hardly acknowledge his fears and worries, leaving him to cope with anxiety and personal issues completely alone. He’s clearly unhappy and potentially aware of his shitty situation- in Tweek vs Craig, he slams his head against the table repeating that he “want[s] out” and that “you never help me”. In Tweek x Craig, his parents only seem to take interest in his developing relationship due to the rest of the town and their desire to look good. If you use this as anything to go off, most of their “parenting” is feeble attempts to keep up appearances.

In SOT, it’s strongly implied that Tweek is the one to usually pick up meth deliveries from Kenny’s house. This is another form of abuse, though I’m not sure if it’s exactly emotional, that he’s forced to endure. A ten year old child should not be exposed to those sort of environments, let alone be involved in the trade of drugs.

ACE 3: Substance Abuse in the Household. Whether it’s coffee, meth or other form of drugs, there’s something going on in the Tweek home that I am certain counts for this ACE. As stated in the preface, higher numbers of ACEs contribute to higher likelihoods of substance abuse- what if the child is already unintentionally abusing substances? He’s got coffee with METH INSIDE IT. I don’t think I need to go much further. There is also the possibility that with his misdiagnosis of ADD, Tweek may be provided access to other drugs for substance abuse. Meth is actually used as a way of treating ADD (X) and could be in reach for him. There’s also Amphetamine (X) which has noted side effects of "excessive grinding of the teeth,... profuse sweating,... and tics..." which could be related to his behavior. This is all purely speculation, however.

Tweek’s Conclusion:

Tweek’s struggle with mental illness is not helped by his parents frequence abuse and neglect. He’s often blackmailed into situations he doesn’t want to be in. Similar to Cartman, his forms of abuse are often sugarcoated as love, making it a little less obvious for him to pick up on. In contrast to Butters, however, he’s much less of a follower and can throw a punch when he needs to protect himself. He’s incredibly resilient and has managed to, despite early substance addiction and neglect, hold strong and even overcome massive obstacles. Of course, these are partly due to his newfound support from...

The Effect of Solid Support: Craig, Heidi, and Liane

Creek shipper or not, there is no denying that Craig has played a massive role in Tweek’s recovery. While Tweek appears to be very naturally resilient despite the odds stacked against him, the presence of someone who will actually listen to his problems and not brush them off is a huge step in the right direction. With Craig, there is a sense of trust and understanding as well as respect. He’s treated as more than a few buzzwords or free labor or any slew of hurtful remarks. His fears are able to be acknowledged and sorted though, whether it be Craig’s logical talk-throughs or someone to pat his back and say “that sucks and it’s okay” (Put It Down). Ever since the introduction of Craig as his boyfriend, we’ve seen some interesting steps in the right direction.

S21’s main theme of relationships drew a lot of interesting parallels between Creek and Heiman, namely the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy relationship. Similar to Steven Stotch, as mentioned in Butters’ case, Cartman went from abused to abuser in his relationship with Heidi. However, this was not always the case.

In early S20, Heidi was in search of her own form of support after being abused by society, simply put. She was able to find this in Cartman, who was dealing with a similar situation at the time after being “murdered” by his friends. Her presence did arguably turn him around for awhile- he seemed much happier before his self-destructive tendencies and self-doubt came in full swing. The cycle was perpetrated- Heidi wasn’t what he needed, so he went from abused to abuser. Heidi could be argued to have turned into another Cartman because she faced a watered-down version of his interpretation of “love”, aka abuse.

Let’s consider another pivotal moment for Cartman: TSST. This one is such a telling episode. While Liane is the source of most of his issues, when she was able to step into her role as a parent and provide the structure and support Cartman needed, his entire personality turned around. It wasn’t until she began treating him like a friend or companion again that he slipped back into his old ways.

Between these two scenarios, I believe it shows that if the patience and care is taken when dealing with Cartman, there is the possibility of healing. Heidi failed because she too was equally vulnerable and not in the right headspace, ultimately harming both of them (this does not excuse how cartman treated and manipulated her, BTW). Liane failed because she fell back into her cycle instead of sticking with what she had built up.

Conclusion

In conclusion, despite sharing similar ACEs, all three children we’ve discussed have different forms of coping and managing their trauma. The abuse that Butters has faced is easier to “remove” from his life due to no emotional (love) being involved in corporal punishment; however, Tweek and Cartman’s abuse have longer lasting repercussions because they’ve accepted and adapted as “that’s just the way it is”. That’s not to say they’re beyond help; all three, if done soon like in Tweek’s case, can be used to heal.

I leave this post with a sort of “call to action”. While we are talking about purely fictional characters and situations that “aren’t that deep, fam”, there are actual children suffering from these kinds of experiences. If you are aware of them, or see the red flags, please don’t hesitate to get help or find someone who can. Nobody should be like Eric Cartman and display serious red flags but slip under the radar. Thank you very much for reading my long, LONG analysis.

Special thanks/credit to the south park analysis discord ( and @dumbthotticusplayer2) for helping brainstorm/discuss :)

#south park #analysis #eric cartman #tweek tweak #butters stotch #abuse mention #csa mention

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yes-captain-insane · 6 years

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You’ve Got Class Chapter 3

Thank you for all the notes I’ve been getting, it really boosts my confidence in my writing! I’m going to try and post on a regular schedule if I can, but for now, enjoy chapter 3.

Tuesday seemed to go by at light speed. One minute Craig was waking up, the next he was at a local gas station getting ICEEs with Clyde Donovan, then the school hours were over. Being at the gas station so long, he lost track of time so when he looked at his watch and read 2:53 he let out a dreadful sigh. He was late.

“Sorry Clyde but I’ve got stuff to do,” Craig told his friend who, currently, was going through the massive trauma of Brain Freeze. He only responded with a thumbs up, knowing Craig didn’t like to go in detail.

The leisure walk took maybe ten minutes. It would have been less if he actually cared about tutoring someone, but alas he did not. Before he went into the building Craig took off his chullo, knowing all too well that the teachers would throw a fit, even after school was over.

Making his way into the library, which wasn’t far from the entrance, he could hear panicky sounds coming from inside, along with the sound of someone flipping through papers very quickly. When he turned the corner into the room, a blond boy in a green button up was sitting at one of the tables spastically looking through, what appeared to be, his notes.

Craig had seen this boy before, the kid with the weird name… Tweek? That sounded right. His parents owned Tweak Bros. Coffee. He didn’t really have an opinion of the twitchy student, much like everything else, but was always curious on why Tweek yelled suddenly sometimes. It didn’t particularly bother him. If anything it made Craig want to approach the boy, not that he had much to say, though.

Now he had a real reason to approach Tweek. Apparently Craig was tutoring him in Calculus. Whoopee.

“Hey,” Craig called out. The boy sitting down jumped, obviously not seeing his tutor walking in. Suddenly, he shuffled to make his papers look nicer and more organized. It didn’t work.

Giving a small noise of panic, when Craig sat down across from him, Tweek attempted a smile. “Hi, um. I’m Tweek.” He held out his hand, though his eyes showed he regretted doing so.

“Um, that’s ok, man. No need to be formal. I’m Craig.”

Tweek let out a large breath that he had been holding in. The two sat in silence for a few moments. A few, very, very awkward moments. “So…” The blue coated boy started, “You’re having a hard time in calc? Do you have a um… Specific topic you’re not getting?”

The small boy across from him got a really guilty look on his face. “I don’t really get any of it.”

If Craig put emotion into anything he would be cringing. Lucky, he didn’t show emotion, so he just sat there. “What about your notes? Aren’t those suppose to help?”

“They’re um… too messy to understand. I don’t get anything she puts on the board anyways.” Tweek shuffled awkwardly in his seat, a clear sign he wanted to leave. Craig realized he felt the same. He never tutored before, so how was he supposed to know what to do?

He reached his hand out, “Can I see your notes? Maybe I can rewrite them for you? You might be able to understand if you could read them.” Tweek looked at his notebook, that had many loose leaf papers hanging out of it. He looked so unwilling to give it to the stranger, who he knew nothing about. How did he even know this what his tutor?

In the end, Craig had possession of the notes. He opened the first page, only to rip the cover off by mistake. Looking up at the blond with wide eyes he began profoundly apologizing. “Dude, I didn’t mean to do that I’m so sor-”

“It’s okay man. It’s falling apart anyway,” Tweak interjected. He had ripped so many notebooks before that he was (almost) numb to the sound of tearing paper. This was someone else, though, so he felt the strong urge to leap across the table and pry the notes back. But he didn’t. That would be a bad first impression on his tutor, someone he would be spending a lot of after school time with.

Craig, on the other hand, was focusing on reading the notes. They were pretty legible and looked like Tweek wrote them straight from the board, and nothing but what was on the board. That was probably a sign that Tweek didn’t understand what he was writing. There wasn’t any doodles either, which was a dead giveaway that Tweek was trying hard on learning.

Tweek seemed like the person to doodle while they were bored, at least to Craig. And he would be right, the blond boy was very inclined to arts, not just drawing. Though he didn’t show it or have any confidence in it, Tweak was exceptionally good in theater, instrumental and vocal music, and sculpting. So yeah, no doodles meant he was trying to pay attention.

“I’ll rewrite these so you can understand them by tomorrow, ok?” Craig asked, closing the ripped notebook. Tweek nodded furiously, still very unsure about giving his notes away. “Is there anything I can help you with right now? I mean off the top of your head?”

The boy made a sound of pain while twitching his head to the side. Decisions were one of his weaknesses. “Well, um, I don’t really know much. Whatever you think might be best!” He shouted, getting a shushing noise from the librarian.

Craig let a quick exhale leave his nose, like how when you find something funny but not funny enough to laugh. This was as close as a laugh you could get from a Tucker. Tweek didn’t know but his outburst was kind of amusing. Never before had Craig seen someone so tense about studying. Sure there are people who cry or stress, but it was like Tweak had never had help before.

“Let’s start from the beginning. Maybe you’ll understand more of the current stuff if I re explain the basics.”

That solved Tweek’s present problem. Relieved, he allowed himself to breath and relax his shoulders slightly. This was still a way too awkward conversation. Both boys were quiet for a little while.

Tweek made a muttered comment a few minutes into the silence, which by the way seemed like eons. “We could start Thursday, when I have my notes back…”

“Yeah sounds like a plan,” Craig agreed quickly. He grabbed his few things and started for the exit. “See you tomorrow, Tweak.” Without turning around, he waved at the boy behind him, who was still sitting down.

Processing the past half hour was difficult. The person tutoring him wasn’t a monster or a stuck up like Tweek had been expecting. That was good. Now he had to get along with the boy so that he doesn’t want to kill the poor blond. That would make things not good.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

#SP #creek sp #Craig Tucker #Tweek Tweak #craig tucker x tweek tweak #craig x tweek #tweek x craig #highschool au #tutor au

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tabloidtoc · 3 years

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National Enquirer, November 2

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Jealous O.J. Simpson killed Nicole Brown over sizzling photos

Page 2: Melanie Griffith was caught in lockdown meltdown mode outside her Los Angeles home yelling at an unsuspecting laborer and giving him a good working over after he somehow crossed her bath and pushed her buttons but it doesn’t take much to get Mel to blow these days because she’s upset about two things which are getting old and not having a man in her life

Page 3: Lisa Marie Presley’s son Ben Keough’s tragic last moments were caught on tape as he argued with his girlfriend according to the coroner’s report on his suicide and security camera footage also captured the eerie sound of an apparent gunshot said the officer who viewed the tape -- Ben had hosted a party for his girlfriend Diana Pinto then about 4 a.m. the 27-year-old musician went to his bedroom; two hours later Diana went to check on him and had to jimmy the bedroom door lock with a bobby pin and she discovered his body and called 911 but Ben was pronounced dead at the scene -- since his death a devastated Lisa Marie has blamed herself for not intervening sooner; Ben had been to rehab several months before and Lisa Marie could see he was struggling with drugs and depression and she has kept a close eye on Ben’s gravesite with Graceland’s surveillance system

Page 4: Anne Heche’s shocking public pronouncement that she wants to reunite with former galpal Ellen DeGeneres was met with fury from Ellen wife Portia de Rossi -- Ellen and Anne were Hollywood’s highest-profile lesbian couple when they dated for three years before their bitter split in 2000 and they haven’t spoken since but Anne announced after her elimination on Dancing with the Stars that she would love to appear on The Ellen DeGeneres Show but Portia has made it clear she wants Anne nowhere near her wife and she believes Anne is using Ellen to drum up publicity for herself, lonely Ryan Seacrest is longing for a reunion with former flame Shayna Taylor but she wants no part of him -- workaholic Ryan announced the combustible couple’s third split in June after eight on-and-off years together -- Ryan’s obsession with being the next Dick Clark tests the patience of everybody around him and it’s made him a nightmare to be in a relationship with as Shayna found out firsthand -- Ryan seemed so cocky and sure that breaking up was the right thing to do but not having Shayna there to lean on has really gotten to him however Shayna is refusing to be played for a fool

Page 5: Kelly Clarkson made a massive mistake dumping husband Brandon Blackstock according to famed numerologist Glynis McCants

Page 6: Doting dad Kanye West is spoiling oldest daughter North rotten and it’s causing even more problems between him and wife Kim Kardashian because Kim feels North is getting too spoiled but Kanye won’t hear any of it because North is his firstborn and his princess and he treats her like it -- North is regularly served breakfast in bed on a silver tray and gets whatever she wants even if it’s waffles with strawberries and ice cream and she also has a team of beauticians and a stylist to cater to her every need as though she was a full-grown woman and her wardrobe is extensive and expensive and she never wears the same designer outfit twice plus North also loves to shop online for jewelry and Kanye gives her his credit card and she can spend $100,000 in a single sitting and Kanye just thinks it’s cute

Page 7: Daring Jill Duggar and husband Derick Dillard are rebelling against her conservative parents and causing a full-scale family war as the couple has publicly defied Baptist patriarch Jim Bob Duggar several times since their 2014 marriage and now they’ve been banned from the 19 Kids and Counting reality clan; Jim Bob’s even demanded that their neighbors have nothing to do with them -- Jill and Derick drew Jim Bob’s fury after criticizing her parents’ conservative views and shutting down their own family factory after having two sons and said they’re stopping there for now unlike Jill’s folks who had 19 kids, dog lover Jennifer Aniston adores her new rescue puppy but potty-training the pooch has been the pits so desperate Jen had to sign up her new pup Lord Chesterfield for private lessons with a dog trainer -- she has two other dogs Clyde and Sophie but they’re well-behaved and know to do their business outdoors and Jen loves them all but she forgot how much work it is to train a puppy

Page 8: Prince Harry’s wife Meghan Markle revealed her private battle with depression as her struggles with first-time motherhood and fitting in with the rigid royal family pushed her over the edge but Queen Elizabeth thinks her conniving confession is simply a ploy to sully the monarchy -- Meghan described the emotional pain caused by criticism as a death by a thousand cuts and said if people are saying things about you that aren’t true what that does to your mental and emotional health is so damaging -- Queen Elizabeth believes Meghan’s confession is a calculated attack on the monarchy and Meghan is acting like the royals waged a war against her but Meghan and Harry’s actions since they quit have infuriated Her Majesty because Meghan keeps orchestrating situations where she takes center stage appearing to support and put the spotlight on those in need but she turns them all into opportunities to talk about herself and how hard her struggle is

Page 9: Rattled Tyra Banks’ rocky start on Dancing with the Stars has her looking for a way to waltz off the show and she is already trying to back out of hosting because she hates the criticism she’s been getting from virtually everyone plus she’s unpopular with the contestants and is bickering behind the scenes with producers who now regret replacing longtime hosts Tom Bergeron and Erin Andrews -- ratings have also plummeted since Tyra took the helm with the show losing more than a million viewers in early October from the same week in 2019

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Gwen Stefani during a photo session in Calabasas, Tiffany Haddish used a leaf blower during a skit on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Justin Bieber on a scooter in Beverly Hills, Zosia Mamet donned a unicorn horn as she wrapped the final scenes of The Flight Attendant, Robert Pattinson and Colin Farrell on the Liverpool set of The Batman

Page 11: John Oliver’s jokey jabs have earned him a crappy honor from the town of Danbury in Connecticut -- after he ragged on tony Danbury on his show Mayor Mark Boughton vowed to rename its sewage plant after him and now it’s official that the Danbury Sewage Plant is now the John Oliver Memorial Sewage Plant and as promised John is donating $55,000 to local charities which has spurred fundraising efforts for local food banks and Boughton is offering tours of the plant for $500 donations to local food pantries, ailing Phil Collins was rocked by ex-wife Orianne’s betrayal and pals fear he won’t make it to Christmas -- the singer was shocked when it emerged that Orianne who he’d divorced in 2006 and reunited with a decade later married another man in Las Vegas and the stunning news prompted him to serve an eviction notice to get her out of his Miami home and his life for good but Orianne refused to leave

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- Nev Schulman on roller blades in an L.A. parking lot (picture), Eboni K. Williams only landed the gig on The Real Housewives of New York City because she co-hosts State of the Culture on Sean Diddy Combs’ Revolt TV cable network and Bravo is desperate to get famous New Yorkers on the show so cameras will be following Eboni around at work hoping to catch Diddy, with Keeping Up with the Kardashians ending E! is looking for the next big reality family and it may be Sylvester Stallone’s daughters Sophia and Sistine and Scarlet Stallone who are all models and not one has a sex tape, with Bravo boss Andy Cohen and axed Housewife NeNe Leakes at war their mutual friends are being forced to pick sides -- Andy gave NeNe access to his famous non-reality show friends and now he’s regretting it -- Kelly Ripa and Anderson Cooper are all Team Andy

Page 13: Kris Kristofferson is battling Alzheimer’s disease and has been forced to retire from singing and acting but the songwriter is in the best place he can be at his home in Maui with family and friends who are surrounding him with love and support, frantic Kate Gosselin is feeling a financial pinch and ready to take a bath on her house by putting her $1.2 million mansion on the market for a measly $815,000 because she’s been struggling with money because she hasn’t worked in a while and living off the money she made in past

Page 14: Crime

Page 15: Marie Osmond was blue over being booted from The Talk but husband Steve Craig gave her something to get over it which was a stunning pair of opal and tanzanite earrings worth nearly $3000, Megan Thee Stallion cheated death when she was shot twice in July and is now using the terrifying incident as a platform to empower Black women and she wrote an op-ed saying the attack proved she and other Black women are not protected as human beings -- fellow rapper Tory Lanez was charged with the shooting that left two flesh-shredding wounds in Megan’s feet and allegedly took place after they argued in an SUV in Hollywood Hills

Page 16: Cover Story -- Rampaging O.J. Simpson was driven into a kill-crazy rage after seeing photos of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson dating hunky young boytoys and flaunting her body in modeling shots -- 25 years after the disgraced football star’s 1995 acquittal intimate images from Nicole’s secret photo album including a picture of the blond beauty posing topless with lover Brett Shaves is believed to have given the jealous ex-jock a motive for murder

Page 18: American Life -- I found a $1M diamond in the rough

Page 19: John Travolta paid tribute to wife Kelly Preston on what would have been her 58th birthday three months after tragic death following a secret two-year battle with breast cancer -- John addressed his late love in a touching Instagram post featuring an image from their 1991 wedding day alongside a picture of his own parents as newlyweds, sci-fi legend George Takei has fired yet another shot at former Star Trek castmate William Shatner as the aging actors’ war of words continues to rage on well into their 80s -- George who played Sulu claimed Shatner was jealous of the amount of fan mail received by their late co-star Leonard Nimoy who played Spock but Captain Kirk shot off a testy response and claimed George was making things up and the only person with jealousy is George -- when told Shatner’s comments George calmly remarked that you can tell by those words that he is upset to put it mildly

Page 20: In a rerun of their long-running rivalry Madonna and Mariah Carey are prepping dueling biopics -- their cold war dates back to the ‘90s but Mariah ramped up their feud when she revealed the very exciting prospect of her biopic but that followed Madonna’s announcement that she was collaborating on her own script -- they’re each obsessed with getting their film out first and getting the right It Girl to play her so the other one doesn’t grab her first

Page 21: Elton John and ex-wife Renate Blauel agreed to zip their lips about their four-year marriage and privately settled her $3.8 million lawsuit over claims he blabbed about their relationship in his memoir Me and the movie Rocketman, Stevie Nicks admitted her insomnia has gotten so bad that she needs therapy or needs someone to hit her on the head with a hammer -- she’s long been nocturnal and it used to be she could sleep from 5 a.m. to 1 p.m. but now says she doesn’t nod off until 8 a.m., singer Amy Winehouse died in 2011 but her dad claimed he still can’t get her out of his house -- former taxi driver Mitch Winehouse who is working on a movie and stage show about the late singer insisted he’s regularly visited by his daughter’s ghost who comes and sits at the end of his bed -- Mitch also said Amy helps around the house in his dreams

Page 26: Niecy Nash’s new bride Jessica Betts has a nightmarish criminal past according to police reports -- Jessica was arrested twice in Chicago once for domestic battery and then for selling a gun to a minor

Page 28: Stars Who Refuse to Zip It -- cringeworthy confessions and nasty habits and more -- Jennifer Love Hewitt, Megan Fox, Al Roker, Olivia Wilde

Page 29: Kristen Stewart on Robert Pattinson, John Mayer, Lady Gaga, Suzanne Somers

Page 32: Demi Lovato’s relentless ex Max Ehrich refuses to let her go and her friends are worried he’s turning into a stalker -- since their breakup he’s been particularly creepy, Tatum O’Neal’s confession that she was ready to jump off the balcony of a Los Angeles home was actually a desperate cry for help -- Tatum was reportedly put on a psychiatric hold at a local hospital after the alleged incident and the event signaled she was in unbearable emotional and physical pain and she feels lost and rejected because she was the youngest Oscar winner ever and now she has trouble finding a job and lost all confidence in herself

Page 34: India Oxenberg has confessed she was afraid of former NXIVM cult master Allison Mack of TV’s Smallville -- India found herself Allison’s slave and realized she was being groomed as a sexual partner for NXIVM leader Keith Raniere and she was branded with Raniere’s initials in her pelvic regions, a disturbing TV interview in England has sparked new fears for the well-being on boxer Mike Tyson -- Mike looked like the train wreck he was when he was plowing through drugs and was sent to prison in the early ‘90s; he looked barely conscious as he slurred his speech and offered incoherent responses -- Tyson blamed his interview on lack of sleep and insisted his contact with drugs is now limited to growing and smoking pot on his California ranch

Page 36: Health Watch

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Zendaya

Page 45: Spot the Differences -- Debbie Matenopoulos on Home and Family

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abeautifulblog · 6 years

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My aesthetic: Joseph striking out

So I'd mentioned before that I think Joseph has almost definitely tried his luck with every dad on the block -- he certainly doesn't seem to have learned any sort of lesson, re: shitting where you eat, from the disaster with Robert, because he wastes no time coming onto the Dadsona when you roll up in the neighborhood. But I also think that -- for a variety of reasons -- he didn't actually manage to score with anyone on the cul-de-sac but Robert. So let's talk about some of those reasons.

(Again, this is setting aside the possibility that anyone just went "Nope, you're married, that ain't right" -- which any of the dads could well have done, because they're all decent human beings, but Joseph is very good at playing like his marriage is over, therefore it's not REEEEALLY cheating, right?)

Damien -- Already talked about this one in a previous post, but in short, Joseph is all about reshaping people please him, and Damien -- trans and dedicated goth -- has spent his whole gd life dealing with that shit, with people who want him to do what makes them happy rather than what makes him happy. I think it's fair to say that Damien is the dad with the most solid sense of self in the game -- the upshot of having had to work so hard for it. Joseph's schtick isn't going to hold the slightest bit of appeal for him.

Brian -- This is the one dad where I think Joseph would nope out first. Because Brian's whole thing is one-up-man-ship, and we find out later that it's his slightly clueless way of trying to impress you, but initially it feels like he's belittling *your* accomplishments -- and hoo boy, self-loving-sociopath Joseph is not going to be about that. Joseph is the guy who interrupts your conversation with Damien to make you tell him how great his party is. The guy who takes center stage so everyone can fawn over his mad grilling skills. The guy who brags in his dad-grindr profile about being "#1 youth minister five years running" and how he crushes his kids at Candy Land. The guy who expects you to be so impressed with his yacht that you fall right into bed with him. He is going to be aggravated as fuck that Brian, instead of being appropriately overawed by Joseph’s accomplishments and ~honored~ by his interest, blithely does everything Joseph does, and does it better.

(Not to mention that most of Brian's bragging is about his kid -- and none of Joseph's is. Joseph takes no apparent pride in his children, we only ever see him being chagrined by the twins and their creepy games, and that is not something that would sit well with Brian.)

Mat -- It comes down to Rosa. That he's still mourning her, and more to the point, he's still mourning her. He's lonely, but he doesn't want just someone, anyone who can make him feel less lonely (which is I think the key difference between his grief and Robert’s), he misses Rosa, specifically. Joseph probably stepped up to comfort Mat and give him a shoulder to lean on after Rosa's death, but there's a good chance Mat didn't even notice his ulterior motives, and if he did, that Joseph wouldn't have held any appeal when all he really wants is his wife back.

Craig -- Craig's on record as being very choosy in his romantic relationships for the sake of his daughters -- I believe it's on his very first date that he says he doesn't want to bring a stranger into their lives. And yeah, some of the softball moms are off-puttingly aggressive in their come-ons (*cough* JANET), but they can't all be. Craig has to have met some single women (or men) that he gets along with and who would have been happy to be a good co-parent for his kids -- but he's turned down all comers, including the single moms who stand to offer his kids a lot more than Joseph does. Even if Joseph were legitimately single, he would have been just one more in the crowd.

Hugo -- Hugo seems like the one who would be most receptive to Joseph under other circumstances. They're both actively involved in the community; Ernest goes to Joseph's church so it's safe to assume that Hugo does too, meaning they'd be religiously compatible; Hugo is newly single and the dad who seems most interested in dating and meeting new people. But he is also very conscious of his position of authority; that he's a high school teacher who needs to set a good example for his students and his son, and I think as soon as Joseph's flirting started to cross the line past "could plausibly just be friendliness," Hugo would explicitly shut it down, and give his reasons why. Like, "Maybe this is something we could explore after you and Mary are separated, but you and I both have responsibilities that make it something I refuse to pursue now."

Incidentally: my housemate and I agree that Joseph probably fucked Hugo's ex, before or during the breakup. Hugo doesn't know about it, but it happened.

And then poor Robert. He never stood a chance.

Ironically, I think Joseph now regrets the affair with Robert. Not because he has any remorse over how badly he fucked Robert up, but because Robert's very instability -- the instability that made him such an easy mark in the first place -- now makes him incredibly difficult to predict and control.

Robert fell for the initial seduction, but he didn't fall for the "oh you were my one-time mistake, I regret this so much, please never tell anyone" line afterward -- he thinks Joseph is an utter shitbag now. He stands to blow Joseph's secret wide open, and he's certainly not keeping his mouth shut to spare Joseph's reputation. He's already notoriously weird, so the social pressure to "not rock the boat" isn't something that's going to keep Robert in line. He's already halfway a pariah in the community, so it's not like he has that much to lose if he decides to tank his reputation the rest of the way and drag Joseph down with him. And he's unstable enough that just because he hasn't done it yet is no guarantee that he won't do it at any moment.

(Yeah -- you should be afraid, motherfucker.)

I think Robert keeps the secret (1) because he's ashamed of his own role in it -- at having helped Joseph cheat on Mary, at having fallen for it -- and (2) because he's not certain anyone would believe him if he did tell them.

#robert #mat #damien #craig #hugo #brian #my headcanons #gremble talks about that gd affair #robert's hangups with sex #joseph the sociopath #dream daddy

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welcome2theneighborhood · 6 years

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Hi nice blog! If your still doing the domesticity prompts...27 robert x craig? :)

This one went in a bit of an angstier direction haha! It’s also longer than the others

It had been a worse fight than usual, and a lot of it came down to stubbornness on both parts, but there was something else more serious, more painful.

Craig had always tried to keep a policy of never going to bed angry. Either resolve the conflict, or let it go. That’s what he’d always taught his daughters, and it really was necessary with twins: the more time two people spend together, the more likely conflict is to arise, no matter how much you love the other person. Maybe Craig had been spending too much time with Robert lately, or maybe Robert just wasn’t as good for him as he’d thought.

Robert had come to his house drunk the night before. Thrown up on his front porch and everything. The kids already long asleep, Craig had gone against his better judgment and let his partner stay the night. But he’d made the mistake of going to bed angry, and so that had only stewed in his sleep and came out again in the morning. He held it together until the girls were off to school, but as soon as they were off on the bus, he’d stormed back to the bedroom where Robert was still passed out. “I told you not to come over here like that.”

Robert only barely woke up to hear what came next.

“I don’t want my daughters seeing that. I don’t want that kind of influence in this house.”

“What were you gonna do?” Robert wasn’t drunk anymore, but his speech was slurred with sleep. “Kick me to the curb?”

“You have your own house.”

“And you woulda left me over there alone?”

“I didn’t make you go get drunk last night.”

“I had to let loose a little. You keep this house stifling. There’s no room to breathe around you. Look at you now. You just want to control everything.”

“For my kids!”

“So? If I’m that bad an influence why don’t you just leave me?”

Craig almost said that he might, but he didn’t want to say anything he might regret later. “Because I love you. You know that by now.” He did love Robert. He was starting to question why, exactly, but the feeling was very real and quickly coming to hurt him. And then something clicked.

“Robert? Why have you never said you love me?”

Robert scoffed, a sound that struck Craig right in the stomach. “You want me to say it now? After you woke me up yelling about what a bad person I am?”

Craig crossed his arms tight across his chest, averting his eyes. “What am I to you, Robert?”

He didn’t get an answer. Robert got his shoes back on and headed out for the day.

Craig distracted himself with work and chores until the girls got home, but though his kindergartener wouldn’t catch a difference in him, at least not one she could articulate, at thirteen the twins were a little more able to voice their concern. “Dad? You don’t look too good. And you’re gonna break that spoon if you stir any harder.”

He’d almost forgotten he was in the middle of making dinner. He didn’t really remember much of the day past the fight that morning. He put on a smile for Briar, who was staring at him from the counter. “Oh, I’m fine. Just got a little antsy with the rain and everything…’

“It’s not raining, Dad.” She reached up to touch his forehead. “Are you sick or something?”

“No, I–”

He could hear the front door open, and Hazel call from the living room. “Robert’s here!”

Craig didn’t want to talk to him, but Robert didn’t seem like much for talking. Through a haze of lingering resentment Craig could recognize that Robert was a little cleaned up from this morning, and looking a little more demure than usual. He didn’t say a word through dinner until a quiet, “Good food.”

Craig stared down at his own plate. He’d only picked at anything. “Thanks.”

The rest of the evening was spent on homework, and by the time that was done it was getting near bedtime. Craig helped River with her evening routine and trusted the twins would get through theirs on their own just like he was starting to trust them to get to sleep at a decent hour. They were teenagers now, and he had to start giving them a little liberty and room to take responsibility for themselves. It had taken a long, long time for him to figure that out for himself. He didn’t want his kids to make the same reckless decisions he had.

Robert stayed in the living room through all this, not making a peep, watching whatever the TV had to offer that night. Craig passed by him a few times, but didn’t say anything. He wasn’t ready to. But Robert seemed like he was waiting for… something. For him, maybe? No, Robert wasn’t one to wait.

Craig stayed as River read a bedtime story for herself, out loud, and then tucked her in with a kiss. He turned the nightlight on and shut the door behind him, went to check on the twins to find they were still up but ready for bed, at least, and by nine went to get ready for bed himself. Robert was still… waiting.

He didn’t want to go to bed mad again. Hurt, maybe, but that he couldn’t help. “You can stay the night, if you want.”

Robert nodded a little, but didn’t say anything, didn’t even look at him. Craig got ready for bed and tucked himself in for the night.

He’d been lying there in the dark for some time when he heard the door open and shut, and suddenly someone was in the bed with him. Robert wrapped his arms around Craig’s waist, scruffy but evenly trimmed face pressed into the back of his neck. Craig couldn’t help but move a little closer.

“I love you.” He felt the words vibrate down his spine.

Craig smiled softly. “I love you too…” And that was all he needed to sleep peacefully that night.

#dream daddy #ddadds #robert small #craig cahn #brobert #my stories #p: let's destroy ourselves together

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