#just had a lot of feelings about Ella today

[finelinevogue]

spreading the love

summary - harry’s fans LOVE you

pairing - fiancé!harry x reader

word count - ~2k

The fans absolutely loved you.

Probably more so than Harry sometimes.

You were often the subject headline of news articles that were actually about Harry. You were often asked about in interviews that Harry was doing. You were often stopped before Harry on the streets. Not that Harry minded in the slightest because, well, he understood.

Obviously, no one could love you more than he did but he understood the publics addiction towards you.

You hadn’t come from much and you weren’t a name people knew before you started dating Harry. Somehow, somewhere, along the way you had become a somebody.

And everyone adored you.

Whether it was your kind nature, you loving heart, your gorgeous smile or your generous soul, you never went unloved by anyone. Not even the cruelest hearted person could have anything bad to say about you.

You loved being involved with the fans too. You often gave a lot back to them just because they were the most dedicated and loyal people you knew.

You loved how much they loved your Harry.

“Hello, hello!” You tucked your hair behind your ear as you started your Instagram live.

Your viewers shot up from 3k to 104k in ten seconds - that’s how popular you had become with the fans and media.

“How are we all today? Feeling good? I’m feeling good since it’s a Friday. It’s my weekend off tomorrow.”

Everyone knew that you were an NHS nurse and did so much for the people you worked with and beside, which only added to the cause of people loving you.

ellaking107: what are you doing with your weekend off?💛

“Hi Ella! This weekend I am staying home with Harry. We have got a very boring weekend planned unfortunately. Our bathroom is having a redecoration and so we need to wait for the tile man to pop in at some point so he can start measuring up bits and pieces. I’m sure H will drag me for a run or to a pilates class too.”

You were situated in your lounge, lots of plants and good lighting surrounding you.

harryissmiling101: Where is Harry?

“Ummm, so Harry is currently at his mum’s. Maybe this is too much information, but his mum’s fridge broke and so all her food went off. Harry and I made loads of dishes though last night for her, so Harry’s dropped them all off along with a spare fridge we had. I know… Don’t ask why we had a spare fridge.”

You watched as you cat, Kira, came through the lounge door and hopped up onto the sofa you were sat on. You turned the camera so everyone could see her.

“My child says hello to you all. Don’t you Ki?” You began stroking her little black and white chin. “Oh you’re so gorgeous. I love you so much.”

haileyjudd: Harry or Kira?

“Hailey I can’t believe you’re even asking me that… Hailey said, choose between Harry and Kira. Honey, there’s no doubt about it. Obviously, Kira.” You laughed.

You knew some magazine would twist your words later and make it seem like you and Harry were going through a rocky patch in your relationship, but you knew the truth. Harry was completely whipped for you and there wasn’t a single chance he was leaving you. Ever. Then again, the feeling is very mutual.

Kira came closer to you and sat in your lap, nestling herself deep into the blanket you had draped over the top of you.

jammiiie: Are you single please?

“Hi Jamie, potentially.. maybe… Uh, no. I am not single and this will remain my answer indefinitely.” You smiled, thinking about how clingy Harry would get if you had read that out whilst he was say next to you.

Harry doesn’t get jealous, oh no.

He gets clingy. And you love it.

You love when he’s constantly doting on you; kissing you. He loved on you like he has to remind you your his (even though you always will be).

harriesassemble: Y/N can I ask you a question? My boyfriend told me that I have to shave (you know where) but I don’t feel comfortable doing that. How do I tell him? (Don’t answer if you feel uncomfortable)🤍

“Wait.. Hang on a second..” You spoke slowly, slowing the speed of the comments as you traced back to a comment that caught your attention.

“Hi, sorry I’m not sure what your name is, but I hope you are still here and know I’m speaking to you!“ You re-read out loud the comment posted so everyone knew what you were going to talk about. “So, first of all, girl to girl, if he is forcing you to do something as personal as shaving yourself then, my love, he’s not worth your time or breath.”

ophelialover: oh i am so here for y/n’s girl talk time

harrielover: y/n is so big sister coded

“Don’t do anything that you don’t want to do. Do not force yourself to be making changes to yourself just to please a man, or any significant other for that matter. If Harry ever forced me to make a change to myself I didn’t want, he knows where the door is. Seriously, honey, you’re perfect and never change unless you want to.”

harriesassemble: Thank you!🩷

kingsofharry: You’re amazinf Y/N <33

justkeepdriving: WE LOVE YOU Y/N

liked by y/nl/nofficial and 1,976 others

harriesassemble i can’t believe y/n just followed me i am in shock right now :((( she’s my favourite person in the whole world and everything they said to me this evening was just so special:(( im shaking so bad i love y/n so much❤️

view all 394 comments

harryfan1 OH THIS IS SO COOL

harryfan2 omg you were who y/n was talking to??? congrats!!!!!

y/nl/nofficial You’re amazing!💛

harryfan3 we stan y/n

••••••••••

London was quite busy today.

Lots of tourists bustling through the city as well as the daily commuters wandering around on their lunch breaks.

Harry had decided to take the afternoon off since you also had it off, organising to take you for a bite to eat and a coffee at your favourite cafe.

It was a cafe bookstore, so you got to browse books whilst waiting for your food and then got to sit amongst the books whilst you ate. It was a dream fantasy of yours as a child and you’re grateful someone brought that fantasy to life.

Harry held your hand securely as you wandered through the London streets.

Luckily Harry had secured a paparazzi ban years ago that meant that no paps were legally allowed to take photos of Harry in London, so it was just fan photos that you had to be aware of.

“Angela asked me to give her your number again today.” You said to Harry.

“She’s relentless.” Harry laughed.

“She just wants to know when her future grandson-in law is going to become her in-law.”

“Baby, I’ve told you before - I’m not asking until I’m ready.” He squeezed your hand.

“No, I know. I just want Nana Angela to be alive when we get married.”

“She will be. I promise.”

You both came to a stop at a red pedestrian light. Harry pulled you back slightly, because he knew that you liked to stand far too close to the edge of the pavement.

You looked up to Harry, watching as he took in his surroundings through a pair of brown sunglasses.

“C’mere a minute.” You said, directing his head to face you.

You reached up and unclipped your claw clip from his hair and ruffled the locks until he had a messy middle parting. You bit the clip between your teeth as you messed with his hair.

“What was wrong with m’hair?” He chuckled.

“Prefer it down like this.” You shrugged your shoulders and clipped the claw clip to the top of your jumper.

You smiled at your handy work.

He looked even more handsome now.

As you crossed the road, you spotted someone with a Love on Tour tote bag. It was one of the newest ones. It was being carried by a girl in her early 20s, maybe.

You poked Harry and pointed him towards the girl.

“She had good taste in music.” He joked.

You didn’t mean to follow this girl, but only happened to stop at another pedestrian red light next to her. You stood beside her and noticed she had headphones on.

You couldn’t help yourself from nudging her shoulder. As you prodded her, she gasped and cupped a hand over her mouth in shock. She quickly took off her headphones and giggled a hi out.

“Love the tote bag!” You smiled brightly.

“Ha ha thank you! Oh my God I can’t believe you’re actually here right now.” She laughed.

“Yup. Both of us.” You pulled Harry a little closer into you.

“Hi, you alright?” He spoke shyly, as ever when he is introduced to someone new.

“This isn’t real! Holy shit.” The girl laughed the situation off. “I was nearly not going to wear this tote bag today as well.”

“Well it must be a good luck charm then.” You laughed. “Which show did you go to?”

“Wembley night 4.”

“Ahh!! The best one then!” You exclaimed, Harry chuckling from behind you.

You always did this.

You managed to make friends with absolutely anybody on the streets, over the smallest of connections. You especially loved making friends with Harry’s fans.

“Well I think so, but I might be biased.” She shrugged.

“It was one of our favourite shows, wasn’t it H?” You nudged him into the conversation, knowing that he struggles with that.

“Yeah definitely. Wembley was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.” He nodded with a smile, looking at you more so than the girl. “I’m glad you enjoyed it and thank you for the support, it means a lot.”

You internally smiled at the small spiel that you had prepped with him for occasions where he might bump into a fan.

“What was your favourite part?” You asked curiously.

“Sign of The Times in the rain.”

“Oh stop! You’re going to make me force Harry into to going on another tour ASAP just to experience that again.”

“Oh, because of course I can control the rain too love.” Harry laughed, which made you both chuckle with him.

“Shut up.” You judged him in the ribs. “Well it was lovely to meet you…”

“Emma.”

“Emma.” You smiled.

“Thank you for your continued support, Emma.” Harry added. “Would you like a photo?”

“Uh.. Y-yes? Yes please! If that’s okay with you?” Emma politely checked.

“Of course. Just as long as you wait a little bit to post it so our location isn’t instantly publicised.”

“Yes. Of course! Thank you.”

“Here, honey, give me your phone.” You held out your hand, thinking that she would have wanted you to take a photo of just her and Harry.

“You have to be in it too, Y/N!” Emma exclaimed.

“Yeah, Y/N/N.” Harry rolled his eyes at your silliness. “C’mere.” Harry roped his arm around your waist and brought you to stand slightly in front of him. Emma was directly next to you and you all smiled as she lifted her arm to take a selfie. Harry’s cheek was pressed near against yours.

“They okay?” Harry asked.

“Perfect. Thank you guys so much.” Emma smiled so brightly.

After you parted ways you couldn’t help but imagine how electric Emma must be feeling right now. Harry seemed to be happy too, because you were happy after such a heartwarming conversation.

Positive interactions just made for better days.

Later, Emma would post that photo and the comments were even more wholesome.

comment 1: the way y/n and harry are stood so close to each other

comment 2: the fact harry has his literal cheek pressed against y/ns makes me WEEP

comment 3: they look so happy i will cry

•••••••

Another place where you would find wholesome content from the fans was the world of social media.

Normally, with Harry’s previous relationship’s, they would get absolutely hated on social media. There would always be something that would get dug out from someone’s past which meant they weren’t “right” for Harry. All of it was bullshit and Harry’s previous relationships had ended because he never felt “right” with anyone.

Until you.

You were now sat with Harry’s family around a small fire pit in Anne’s back garden.

Her lovely house had a beautiful garden that was perfect for dinner evening drinks and conversations. You often think about returning here with Harry and his last name one day.

“Top up, Y/N?” Anne asked, holding out the bottle red wine up to your wine glass that empty on the table.

“Oh, no thanks Anne.” You warmly smiled.

You were comfortably nestled in Harry’s lap with a blanket drawn over the two of you. Harry was nursing his own red wine with one hand, whilst the other supported your back from where you were sat sideways across his legs. Your head was nuzzled just below his chin and your hands were busy fiddling with his necklaces.

“You okay, m’love?” Harry asked you, so only you could hear.

“Mhm. Wine has made me sleepy.”

“Rest if you need to, i’m right here.” He kissed the top of your head.

You pulled your phone out of your hoodie pocket and opened it up to Twitter.

You followed a multitude of Harry’s fans on Twitter, simply for the shits and giggles. It had become a challenge to see who would be the next person that you would follow.

Scrolling through Twitter you noticed a lot of people reposting a photo of you and Harry that got leaked today. You were both simply walking through the park, but the photo clearly showed you wearing Harry’s hoodie and everyone was screaming over it.

harriesunite: these are my parents

“H, baby, look.” You giggled as you showed him the tweet.

“Hmm?” He tucked his face down into your neck as he read your phone, and leaving your neck warm after he laughed.

“You’re such a dad, apparently.”

“Not yet I’m not.” He kissed your exposed neck, but only once when he remembered he was sat in front of his mum.

“Y’want to be?” You turned your head a little to the side to see him better.

“Whenever you want to be a mum, yeah.” He smiled so brightly.

“Soon.”

“Yeah, soon.” Harry nodded in agreement.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfic #ask finelinevogue #harry blurb #finelinevogue #harry styles concept #harry oneshot #harry styles blurbs #harry styles fic #fic rec harry styles #harry styles fluff

[trulyhblue]

Leah or lessi kid fic after they won the Conti cup!

Lilo’s Sparkle

Mum! Alessia Russo x Child! Reader

Warnings: fluff, mention of injury, very very short.

___________________

You held your head up high, making sure your eyesight was level with the barricade of Alessia’s arms around you.

Your mummy was rocking you, holding you in a small confinement of blankets and an pink sweater. It was cold in Birmingham, but so was every other game your Mummy’s team played at. It was the same at Manchester, and London was no different. The only chance was the people. Auntie Ella only picked you up from your new preschool when she was down South, and you and Mummy would sometimes meet for orange juice at Auntie Ella’s favourite cafe when you were in Manchester.

But today you were in Birmingham, which was a often occurrence. London was your new home. You were accustomed to Manchester, and the weather in England was pretty standard across the country, so there wasn't much to adjust to.

“Do you want to go see Kyra with me, Lilo?”

You looked over at your Aunt Stina. She was perplexed, confronted with mixed emotions. You had teary eyes from the overstimulation, so you just wanted a cuddle.

“Is Stina okay, Mummy? Does she need a hug?”

There was cheering everywhere. Mummy had a very wide grin, and rosy cheeks similar to yours, except you were cold and she was exhausted. The 120-minute frenzy had left you feeling fatigued in your seat on the bench. It was a lot to ask a three-year-old to sit quietly without fuss without the company of her Mummy and her Aunties.

“How bout you ask to see if she wants one, sweets?”

You nodded.

With the comfort of Kyra in the first half, and Leah in the second, you were pretty much well-behaved. But after your favourite Auntie — though Stina Ballerina and Lee Lee never liked you saying that — Frida went down and stretched off the pitch, you instantly grew angsty and agitated. This was only exemplified with Mummy was subbed on in place of.

You ran over to Stina, yanking softly on the woman’s shorts.

“Do you need a cuddle, Auntie Stina?” You asked, fiddling with your zipper as you spoke. Your hood was up upon your Mummy’s discretion, the media attention on you the foremost of her worries.

“Oh, I always need a hug from you, Lilo, älskling.”

“Okay! Thank you!”

Stina knelt down at the feeling your body heat holding onto her calf, swiftly picking you up and cradling you in her grip. Vivi came up behind you, wearing a matching Arsenal jumper, fitting her medal over your neck.

“You scored the winner, Auntie.” You proclaimed, engulfing Stina’s jersey next to your cheek. “You are a superhero Stina. I think your a sparkle.”

Alessia’s giggles were heard not far from where you stood, the thought of you talking about people being a ‘sparkle’ endearing to her.

“Wow, Lilo darling, you think Stina did well?”

“Mummy, of course! She's a sparkle, remember?” You looked between Stina, Vivi, and Mummy. “Mummy and I were calling you a sparkle on the bus after you gave me a cookie, remember? Thank you, Auntie, you really are a star.”

It was considered your thing. To call someone a sparkle was your view of an utmost compliment. You are a star, superior in all ways, and for Stina, she hugged you a little tighter knowing you relished her hard work.

No amount of compliment could outshine a sparkle.

“You are too kind, Lilo,” Stina responded, her blush prominently painting across the bridge of her nose. “Thank you, but you are the biggest sparkle of all.”

You were now pressing your face against the woman’s cheeks, reaching out to play with Mummy’s collar. “Thank you!”

You eventually pushed away from all the celebratory chaos, waddling over to Lee Lee, and Kimmy, knowing they’d provide some serenity to your hyperness.

They were on their way to receiving the trophy, and when you found your way squelched between them, Lee picked you up, placing you inside the trophy with a plonk.

Everyone laughed and cheered as you were lifted into the air, celebrating flambountaly for their sparkle.

Not only as individuals, but as a club.

____________________

alessia

liked by stinablackstenius, fridamaanum, and 876,356 others

alessia — dressed in our sparkle attire 🩷🩷

tagged — stinablackstenius

Comments Are Limited:

Stinablackstenius — my absolute favourite compliment from my Äskling 💕

*liked by creator

____________________

#arsenalwfc #arsenal x reader #arsenal wfc #arsenal women #arsenal #woso community #woso x reader #chelsea #chelsea women #woso #alessia russo and kyra cooney cross #alessia russo x y/n #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo #lionesses x reader #lionesses #leah williamson x you #leah williamson #beth mead #vivianne miedema #stina blackstenius #frida maanum

[sturniolos-blog]

Pick it up - Matt Sturniolo as a dad x Y/n

warnings: kissing, fluff, cute daughter

this was inspired by matt telling nick to pick up the lollipop he threw in todays car vid, but it’s also just a fic of dad matt

enjoy!

—————————

“Mommy!” My 3 year old daughter, estrella, ella for short, ran up to me as i walked in the door.

“Hey baby!” I giggled, picking her up and kissing her cheek.

I kicked off my shoes, “How was your day, lovey?” I pushed the hair off of her forehead and smiled at her.

“It was so ‘mazing, mommy! Me and daddy had a dance party and he invited uncle nick and uncle chris over and we went and got a bunch candy from the store and then we had ice cream and daddy told me not to tell-”

My mouth was wide open as she told me about her day.

I gasped, “Daddy let you have candy and ice cream? Oh my goodness!” I faked being surprised. I already knew about it because Matt texted me and told me about it, telling me not to get mad.

Estrella giggles, “Just kidding mommy!” She tried to lie her way out.

“I can’t believe y-” I started tickling her as she lets out fits of giggles, squirming in my arms before i placed her down.

I see Matt come from the laundry room, “Estrella, i’ve been hiding for 30 minutes it doesn’t take you that long to-” He looks at me and smiles. “Oh, hey baby.” He walks over to me.

“Found you daddy!” Ella poked his leg and laughed.

Matt scoffed playfully and shook his head, “Good job, baby. Go play, love.” Matt ruffled her hair as she ran to her play room.

Matt immediately turned around and hugged me tightly, peppering kisses on my neck, i giggled.

“Matt!” I tried to push him off.

“You smell good.” He whispered into my neck, i gave in and put my hands in his hair, running my fingers through it,

“Yeah?” I kissed his ear.

“Mmm.. ‘missed you..” He mumbled, kissing up my neck, to my jawline and to my lips.

“I missed you too.” I mumbled into the kiss.

He hummed, “How was work?” He pulled away to ask before going back in for a kiss, we rocked back and forth.

“Slow day. But good. I’m glad you and ella had a good day together.” I smiled, he smiled at me to and kissed me again.

Matt smirked as he pulled away from the kiss,

“When she goes down for a nap maybe we can-”

Matt gets cut off by a loud bang in the kitchen, we immediately walk together to go see what it was,

We saw Ella climbing down from an island stool that she pushed up against the counter, with a now empty container with lollipops all over the floor.

“Ella, baby, what are you doing?” I sighed, my hands on my hips, matt with a disappointed look on his face.

“I wanted ‘nother one!” She whined, running up to my leg and hugging it. I ran my fingers through her hair, “Okay baby, but you have to ask us first, you coulda got hurt, my love!” I said.

Ella started crying, “‘m sowwy!” She cried, i picked her up and rocked her back and forth, rubbing her back.

“Estrella stop, just pick it up please.” Matt said softly, but with a stern tone.

Estrella sniffed and buried her head into the crook of my neck, Matt gave me the, ‘put her down, stop babying her look’ I frowned, i tended to feel bad a lot.

“Y/n.” Matt said when i didn’t put her down.

“I know, i know.” I whispered. Crouching down and placing ella down, she started crying more, grabbing onto my shirt.

“Ella please,” I whispered, i gave her a hug before standing up, she grabbed my leg and hugged it.

“Estrella, pick it up. Come on, you made a mess, clean it, be a big girl.” Matt spoke softly.

Estrella coughed and sniffled as she calmed down, she twirled a piece of her curly hair before getting on the ground and picking up all the spilt lollipops, putting it in the empty container. Filling it back up.

“Good girl.” Matt said, he clapped, cheering her on.

“Go, ella!” I clapped too, matt laughed and kissed my cheek.

When estrella finished she tried to pick up the container,

“Oh baby-” I was gonna help her but matt got to her first, helping her pick up the container.

“Daddy’s got it, ella. You did so good, my love.” Matt took the lollipop container and put it back on the counter, taking a blue lollipop and handing it to ella.

“For owning up to your actions.” He smiles, i scoff playfully and shake my head.

“What do you say, estrella?” I say.

“Thank you, daddy!” She said hugging his leg.

“You’re welcome, baby.” He said, smiling at me.

—————————

Thought of this fic and i love matt sturniolo so much anyway enjoyyy

#matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #spotify #sturniolo

[papercorgiworld]

Insecurities and second chances

Mattheo Riddle Fluff

Your brother gets in trouble with Mattheo and you go talk to Mattheo, but things only get more complicated. Thank Salazar for second chances and cute dates.

Warning: Mattheo says a denigrating, suggestive thing, but only once and that’s it

Today’s little cameo is Ella. She’s your friend and Theodore’s girlfriend.

Ella, I hope I did you justice. Again thanks for sending in.

A/N: not really happy about the title, so please ignore it. I’m worried it’s not that good, but I wrote it so I might as well post it. Now enjoy some fluff. Happy readings!

“You did what?” You raise your voice, but immediately lower it when you catch people staring. You grab your brother’s arm and guide him to a quiet corner.

“Hexed his shoelaces.” He whispers and your eyes widen. “You are the one that made Mattheo freaking Riddle trip over his own feet and fall face down to the floor?” Your brother nods with amusement and pride, but it quickly falters. “Yes and I’m pretty sure he knows it’s me.” Your heart starts racing. Your brother was a first class idiot, but you really didn’t want him in trouble with Mattheo. “Please tell me you’re joking?” He shakes his head, but realizes how worried you are and tries to keep you from stressing out. “Look I’ll just avoid him for a while and he’ll forget about it.” You think over his plan, if you could even call it that, and let your eyes wonder. It’s then that you see Mattheo approach. “Hurry, this way.” You whisper urgently and push your brother out of Mattheo’s sight.

You watch your brother quickly make his way down the stairs and you sigh, relieved that you had a little more time to think of a better plan. When you turn around you catch Mattheo staring at you near the door of your potions class. Gods, I’m done for it. He knows it was my idiot of a brother. However, Mattheo quickly looks away and enters the classroom with his friends. You frown, but do the same and take your seat next to your friend.

Ella looks up at you and immediately you spot a joyful glint in her brown eyes. “Merlin, you missed the funniest thing-” You could already guess what she was talking about. “My brother hexed Riddle’s shoelaces and made him trip.” A very amused laugh leaves her lips as she nods. “Hilarious.” She sings and you roll your eyes, but her joy is infectious and you can’t help but smile a little. You were so happy she didn’t change when she started dating the notorious Theodore Nott. At first you were worried that she might turn into a mean girl, but no. After four months she was still your Ella ad since Slughorn hadn’t arrived yet you lean closer to your friend. “My brother is in so much trouble.” She nods with wide eyes, her non-verbal way of telling you he was in a lot of trouble. You bite your lip and scoot a little closer to the brunette. “Can’t you, like, ask Mattheo to be chill about it. You’re Theo’s girl, Mattheo will listen, right?” You question hopefully, but the doubt in your voice is obvious.

Ella smiles. “No, he won’t, but-” She goes silent for a moment and scans the room, obviously checking what her boyfriend is up to, before continuing. “Look, apparently Riddle has a thing for you. So, maybe if you ask, you know, he’ll be nice.” Your mouth drops at your friend's words. “Riddle? That can’t be.” Your whisper comes out harsher than intended and you feel a blush creep up. Ella raises her eyebrows. When you hear Slughorn enter you look up and can’t help but search for Mattheo. You bite your lip and in that exact moment he looks over at you and gives you one of his rare smiles, making your eyes fall to your book in an attempt to hide your flusteredness.

***

Ella had convinced you to join her and Theo at the astronomy tower for a little drink and smoke. You were reluctant, but also seriously worried for your brother. So you decided to tag along and maybe try and catch Mattheo in a good mood.

You can’t help but get nervous as you follow Ella up the stairs of the astronomy tower. Mattheo… a thing… for me? When you reach the top Enzo is the first to greet you. He hands you a drink and you take a sip as you watch Theodore wrap his arms around your friend. In only a few months they had become Hogwarts’ power couple. Part of you wished to have something similar, be safe in someone’s arms like she was. You quickly realize that he’s not gonna let her go any time soon, so you might as well get comfortable talking with the other slytherins.

As soon as your glass is half Enzo fills it again and you give him a playful glare. “You should watch out, he’ll get you drunk in no time.” Mattheo chuckles, appearing next to you. You’re surprised by how relaxed and casual he is. Enzo raises his hands in defence. “Hey, I’m just making sure everyone’s hydrated.” With that he fills Blaise’s glass without him even noticing. You laugh at Lorenzo and turn to Mattheo. ‘I’ll definitely watch my glass, I don’t need a hangover when my day starts with Ancient Runes.” A sweet smile tugs on Mattheo’s lips making you instantly feel drawn to him. “There’s a reason I regularly skip morning classes. I definitely spend to much time here, but the view is worth it.” He points and for the first time that night you take the time to enjoy the view. You walk over to the railing and Mattheo follows you. You were having a lovely evening, finally getting to know Mattheo by talking about the silliest stuff, but things quickly changed when you got to discussing today’s events.

“That little moron is your brother?” That’s why she’s interested in me and laughing at my jokes. What was I thinking, that she would really care about me? You're startled by the coldness in his voice, but nod anyway. “He’s an idiot sometimes, he really doesn’t want any trouble. It’s just a prank.” You notice his jaw clench and you avert your eyes. “So that’s why you’re here? To apologize, because the coward doesn’t dare to show his face.” Now it’s your turn to startle him with coldness as your eyes dart at him with a stern glint in them. “I thought we could come to some kind of agreement, so-” Mattheo shakes his head and snorts, his tongue twisting in his mouth. “So you being all nice and interested was just because you’re worried for your brother.” You want to protest, but he won’t let you as his eyes turn unreadable and wander around, avoiding yours at all cost. “Well, I’m sure we can arrange something, (y/n)… how about you on your knees in my room?” Now that his eyes are finally back on you, you search for that softness again, but it’s nowhere to be found. Your heart breaks at how Mattheo’s soft eyes have turned dark and twisted in just a matter of moments. There’s no reasoning with him. Your hand hits his cheek and both you and Mattheo are surprised by your action. His face is still turned away from you as his hand reaches for his painful face. Out of the corner of his eyes he sees you leave with teary eyes.

”What the hell, Riddle!” You hear Ella scream at Mattheo as she follows you. Theodore watches Ella leave with puppy eyes, before turning his very unamused gaze towards Mattheo. But also Enzo, Blaise and Draco stare at Mattheo with eyes that ask: How did you manage to screw this up?

“What! She was just pretending to be interested.” Mattheo yells at his friends. Draco just stares at his drink like he’s never seen a liquid before, really not wanting to get involved. “She was just worried for her brother, who-” Enzo interrupts Mattheo with a rare stern voice. “Yeah, maybe she came here for a reason, but maybe just maybe if you weren’t such an insecure asshole she would’ve stayed for you.” Blaise and Draco are quick on their feet and keep a furious Mattheo away from a slightly drunk Enzo. Theodore just rolls his eyes, feeling like he’s the only adult.

***

”Ella, Ella!” Mattheo came running up to her, slightly out of breath. She rolls her eyes and turns on her heels. “Look. You’re Theo’s girl, so we’re kinda friends? So I was wondering if you could put in a good word for me with (y/n). Ask her to meet me later.” Ella raises her eyebrows and snorts, before her sarcastic slytherin side kicks in. “I’m sure we can arrange something, Mattheo… how about you on your knees in my room. Or what was it exactly you said to her last night?” Ella’s voice is snarky and filled with contempt for Mattheo. A little defeated, Mattheo’s eyes fall to the floor. “I know I was in the wrong yesterday. I just need another chance.”

“Another chance?” You huff and pick up your books, as Ella frowns. “I know.” You both continue walking to your next class. “But the thing is, Theo was this stupid when we started dating.” You stop abruptly making Ella stumble into you. “Started dating? Okay, but Riddle and I are never dating.” You snapped and she couldn’t help but smirk. “Exactly what I said before Theo and I started d-“ You narrow your eyes and she shuts up, but only for a moment. “Theo and I ship you two.” You roll your eyes.

***

Mattheo stares at the sky waiting for you near the Hogwarts north exit. He hated it, but Enzo was right. He got insecure and overreacted. He had his looks, but aside from that he felt like he had nothing to offer you. Why would you be interested in someone like him? Especially after reacting as nasty as he had, he felt like he had no right to be talking to you. Nevertheless a part of him hoped you would show up. He sighs and drops his head as he leans against a wall. When he hears footsteps closing in he looks up to see your anxious figure approaching. She must feel so shit after what I said.

“You wanted to talk.” You say calmly and he looks at you with that soft look he first had at the astronomy tower. He immediately pushes himself off against the wall closing the space between you. “I want to take you out to this small trinket shop just outside of Hogsmeade.” When you don’t immediately react he gets a little nervous and tries to convince you. “They have all kinds of weird stuff, but also cool notebooks, pillows, mugs and sometimes curious second hand books.” You chew your lip, actually liking the idea, but not really sure what to think about Mattheo after last night. “And if I say no, you’ll beat up my brother, or what?” It was a genuine question, but your words sound harsher than intended. With panic in his eyes he takes a step closer. “No, no. I’ll leave him alone no matter what you say. Maybe I’ll hex his shoelaces, but that’s just justice.” He sighs before continuing with a gentle and sincere voice. “I won’t punch him, I promise. I’m not gonna force you into going out with me, I respect you.” Your eyes lock with his when you hear those last words. You huff. Really didn’t sound like it last night. He knows exactly what you’re thinking and looks away from you embarrassed and angry with himself at how he had acted. He wants to explain himself, but opening up just wasn’t easy. “I really enjoyed talking to you yesterday. I didn’t pretend or suck up to get my brother out of trouble. I genuinely thought you were funny when I laughed and when I asked more about those comics you read I did so because I love how geeky you get talking about it.”

He didn’t think it was possible, but he felt himself fall even more for the girl in front of him. “I couldn’t wrap my head around you-you liking- I mean I couldn’t believe you liked talking to me, so…” There’s a silence as you watch him struggle and search for words. Part of him just wants to walk away, but he sighs, gathering his courage. “I rather ruin my own happiness than actually be happy and lose it. I loved talking to you and I freaked. I’m… sorry.” He looks down, avoiding all eye contact, but you know his words were true. You grab his hand and squeeze it. “No need to apologize. We all freak out sometimes. And I would love to go with you, but we’ll have to walk because I didn’t bring my broom.” You say and point to his broom leaning against the wall. Mattheo stares at you for a few seconds and it’s your smile that reminded him that he needed to say something. “You could also hold on really tight.” He winks, regaining his confidence after you had reassured him.

You press your head against his back and wrap your arms a little tighter around him as Mattheo takes off in the direction of Hogsmeade. You can feel his heart race and close your eyes, feeling butterflies.

***

“Definitely a weird store.” you whisper, making Mattheo chuckle as he shows you around the bizarre but cute trinket shop, pointing at the most peculiar things. You end up spending a ridiculous amount of time deciding which notebooks, plural, you’ll buy. When Mattheo joins you holding a few rare second hand books, you sigh. “I can’t decide. I want them all.” He leans closer to you, making you blush a little. “I’ll buy them all for you.” You give him a sweet smile, before protesting. “You won’t be buying me anything, I have my own money.” He nods with eyes that mock you, quickly grabbing the three notebooks you were already holding. “Sure, little miss independent, but I still want to buy you something as an apology for my behavior.” You open your mouth to say something, but he won’t let you. “I’m all about feminism, love, but please allow me to make up for yesterday.” You huff and follow him to the cashier. “You think you can buy your way out of trouble?” You ask with a playful glint in your eyes. He offers you a sweet smirky smile as he pays. “Yeah, that’s what fines are for. I commit a crime, pay up and we’re all good.” You laugh, leaving the store. “You’ve got the justice system all figured out, Riddle.” He nods, pleased he can make you laugh so easily.

He hands you the notebooks. “Please, I prefer Mattheo.” You get flustered as his gentle smile enchants you. Gods, I’m falling for him. It’s then that you hear Ella and Theo call. “What a coincidence.” Mattheo groans when he spots them grinning in your direction. You step closer facing away from your friends for a moment. “Apparently, they ship up.” You whisper with a happy smile on your face and amused wiggling eyebrows. Mattheo feels his heart squeeze at your beautiful smile. You both walk towards Theo and Ella. “We’re on our way to the Three Broomsticks, you guys wanna join?” Mattheo feels himself heat up at the idea of getting to spend even more time with you, but just as that joy spreads a part of him tells him that you probably don’t want to. With hesitation in his eyes he looks at you, waiting for you to speak up. “If you don’t mind…” Your eyes lock with his. “I would love a drink and a bite.” He’s overjoyed by your answer, but tries to be casual about it. With gleeful eyes he slings his arm around you pulling you closer and placing a soft kiss just above your temple. While walking Mattheo’s arm stays around you, keeping you close and making you blush. Gods, I’m way past falling in love with, I want to marry him, right now!

Word count: 2635

Picture source: https://pin.it/4RWMv3rqa

#slytherin #slytherin boys #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #papercorgiworldwritings

[eamour]

feeling is the secret.

the saying "feeling is the secret" is another phrase that neville goddard coined. now, when speaking of "feeling" it to be true, neville did not talk about an "emotion" but rather "knowing" things to be true. but what's so important about "feeling" anyway?

thoughts come from feeling.

your thoughts come from your feeling. to simplify it for you: your feeling can also be reffered to as your belief in something or your state of mind concerning something. therefore, feeling is the cause of thought. first you have a feeling, then you generate thoughts coming from that feeling. your thoughts determine what state you are in or what your underlying belief/feeling is.

change feeling, change self.

your feeling is the root. the origin. the beginning. it's the only thing you need to change in order to see change be reflected back to you. when you do that, you change self — because self, again, is what you feel to be true.

since your thoughts are not the cause of your manifestation but your feeling is, we need to change that first. your feeling or your belief/state is where you think from. it's where thoughts come from automatically. if you change your feeling, your thoughts have no option but to follow in regards to that state.

change the feeling of "i".

how do you change your feeling? in your mind. you don’t change your outer self but your inner self. a belief or a feeling isn't hard to change. there are no blockages of your subconscious, there is no resistance that has to be dealt with. the only reason why you think that there might be obstacles you need to overcome is because you create them in the first place. you yourself are complicating it to change your state and make yourself believe in the difficulty or the idea that your mind needs to be "fixed". but you can uncreate those beliefs the same way you created them.

thoughts hold no power.

since the thought is created, it has no power of its own and no truth in itself. this is why you don't have to worry about thoughts or if you are thinking "good enough", having the "right" thoughts or micromanaging everything. don't try to think perfectly in your mind. the thought is not the root, the feeling is.

that's why "flipping" aka changing thoughts often doesn't do a lot. it does not change your feeling to begin with. and since you keep the feeling, you will also keep reproducing thoughts coming from that state. yes, today you managed to calm down by flipping thought A — but what if you get anxious again tomorrow because you get a thought B?

feeling is the end.

you know the term "live in the end"? this is what we mean we say it: when we want you to live in the end, we want you to feel as if you had your desire. we want you to go to the very end where you have it. we don't want you to worry about the how, the when, the circumstances or the bridge of events. we want you to feel. because once you do, you will also start to think from feeling aka from having your desire. just like edward art said, "change your feeling to what you want to feel. feel everything and the thoughts will come".

just feel it.

you waste so much time not doing what you should be doing. no, you don't need to firmly do sats every night before going to bed and attempt the void and make sure to write down all 100 affirmations in the same order and meditate for exactly 15 minutes... you need to feel. you need to be. you need to experience it in the mind. you need to give yourself the time to just have it. you need to allow yourself to get a taste of it. you have been forcefully and desperately trying to "do to get". just be it for a moment. give yourself the feeling you have been longing for. because you keep feeling what you don't want to, you just end up manifesting things you don't want. and you do things to get and not to change self.

this post was greatly inspired by edward art

with love, ella.

#law of assumption #neville goddard #loassumption #loa #the law of assumption #edward art #manifestation #manifesting #manifest #spiritual #spirituality #manifest it #master manifestor #manifest your dreams #loa tumblr #loablr #manifest your life #manifest your desires #manifest your reality #manifesting it #loa blog #reality shifting #reality shift #shifting #shifting reality #eiypo #imagination creates reality #consciousness is the only reality #loassblog #feeling is the secret

[wileys-russo]

alessia day II a.russo x reader

tooth rottingly soft self care days with star girl

alessia day II a.russo x reader

4.3K words

licking some jam off the tip of your thumb you looked down to the table loaded with food in front of you and nodded with a satisfied smile, happy with your work for the morning and even happier that alessia hadn't woken up any earlier than you'd hoped.

washing your hands and kicking the dishwasher closed with your foot you downed the last mouthful of your coffee, abandoning the mug in the sink and making your way upstairs. hand on the doorknob of your shared bedroom you pushed it slowly open, wincing as the door itself squeaked loudly but thankfully it didn't appear to phase the soundly sleeping striker on the other side of the room.

padding over to the bed you squatted down lovingly moving a few strands of loose blonde hair away from the girls face, gently murmuring good morning and pressing a lingering kiss to her warm forehead. never having been a morning person your girlfriend stirred but promptly rolled away from you over to the other side of the bed with a grunt.

your smile widened and you let out a small chuckle having already anticipated that the girl would be quite hard to get out of bed this morning, all the stress from rumors of her potential transfer from united meant she'd spent the last couple of weeks getting very minimal sleep. 

alessia had instead spent hours and hours doom scrolling through what social media was saying about it all, only falling into a deeper spiral of anxiety and discomfort much as you tried to beg and plead with her to stop listening to the outside world.

the last couple of days had been particularly brutal. 

ella was asking alessia a lot of questions she didn't have answers to which was frustrating her best friend to no end, the girl having been very vocal about supporting alessia no matter what but wanting to know what her plan actually was. 

but without a confirmed plan forward alessia just felt the pressure increase at ellas questions, fear of the unknown only adding to the heavy load she was already carrying on her shoulders. 

but today it was your sole purpose to take some of that weight away for her, and give her at least one day of feeling as though she wasn't weighed down by the expectations of others, every move constantly watched and over analysed by millions of strangers.

"good morning gorgeous." you hummed softly, climbing onto the bed beside her. "it's time to get up." you whispered poking gently at the blonde who whined tiredly and flopped onto her back, covering her face with her arms.

"come on less, time to wake up baby." you moved to carefully straddle her, torso tucked securely under the duvet as your own body rested atop the covers, legs settling either side of her blanket covered hips. "no it's not." alessia grumbled with a huff, tensing her biceps as you attempted to remove her arms from her face.

"yes it is, now stop covering that gorgeous face." you eventually won, intertwining your fingers with hers and pinning her hands against the pillow, bright blue eyes slowly fluttering open below you. "well hi there." you smiled like a lovesick puppy, letting go of her and moving your hands either side of her face, sweetly pecking at her lips a few times.

"m'tired." alessia slurred still half asleep, blinking a few times and  stretching out underneath you with a quiet groan, hands coming to rest on your bare thighs as slender fingers traced absent minded shapes along your skin. 

"i know you are my love which is why coffee and breakfast are ready and waiting downstairs." you laid down on her a little more, peppering her face with kisses causing the strikers lips to curl up into a smile, cheeks flushed rosy pink and eyes still a little puffy from her half asleep state your heart soared, you couldn't have been any more infatuated with her if you tried.

"today is alessia day so you have to get up because i've got plans for us." you announced happily, alessia tilting her head at your words. "but its not my birthday?" she frowned a little in confusion, arms sneaking up the back of your jumper and short nails scratching gently at your back like she knew you loved as you swooned at the gentle tired rasp of her voice in the morning.

"no its not, but i know you've been under a tremendous amount of pressure lately and i want you to have one day where you don't have to think about any of it, so todays all about you." you promised her sincerely, smoothing out the stress lines on her forehead where she was frowning and stealing a kiss.

"oh baby." you melted as the blonde sniffled, a few stray tears rolling from her ocean blue eyes which you tenderly wiped away with your sleeve. "why are you crying?" you asked softly, raking your hands through her hair as the striker wordlessly shook her head. 

"i don't deserve you." she eventually managed to choke out, tanned arms moving to wrap around your smaller frame the girl sat up quickly and engulfed you into a tight hug, catching you a little off guard the blonde held onto you as if you could fly away at any sudden moment.

"don't be silly less you deserve nothing but the best and if i can even give you half of that i'm happy." you mumbled into her hair, your own arms snaking around her neck as the two of you sat there for a few peaceful moments, just wrapped up in one another's tender and loving embrace. 

"i wasn't kidding though there is breakfast waiting downstairs." you pulled away with a smile, alessia tugging you down into a proper kiss and mumbling a thank you against your lips. 

~

"may i please have my phone back just for a second to text tooney?" alessia asked hopefully, you having taken her phone for the day knowing that you wouldn't have a chance at getting your girlfriend to unwind and relax if she had access to her social medias.

"i already told tooney you'd be off the grid today and i love you so very much but i know you won't be able to resist the temptation to not go for a little look around about the contract drama on social media. so no, you may not." your words may have seemed harsh but you made sure your tone conveyed that they came from nothing but a place of care, alessia nodding along in understanding

"so what's next for alessia day then princess?" the striker smiled pulling herself up to sit on the counter next to you as you finished rinsing the dishes used for breakfast, having banned your girlfriend from helping as much as she'd fought you on it.

"face masks, do each others nails, pitch perfect one to three with your favourite snacks, massage, wash your hair for you, make pasta for dinner." you dried your hands and ticked off your remaining plans using your fingers, moving to stand in between the older girls legs. 

"have i told you how much i love you?" alessia beamed at your words, doing her very best to focus all of her love, attention and energy into being alone with you in the little safe haven you'd both created behind the walls of your shared flat.

"mmm not in the last five minutes no?" you smiled softly, pressing your body against hers as the taller girl crossed her legs tightly around you. "sorry bella were you waiting for something?" alessia teased as you looked to her expectantly awaiting those famous three words, your heart skipping a beat as it always did anytime she spoke to you in italian. which the blonde was completely aware of and had no issues using to her advantage any time she so pleased.

"suddenly alessia day is cancelled." you rolled your eyes and attempted to walk away as the girl was quick to slide off the counter, tugging your back into her front and nestling her face into your neck. 

"ti amo tantissimo, mia bella ragazza." alessia rasped quietly in your ear and smiled against your skin before repeatedly kissing your cheek, watching in delight as they blushed at her words. 

"my pretty pretty girl." she continued, spinning you around in her arms and ducking so her mouth met yours and you wrapped your arms around her neck, tugging gently on her hair as she balled your jumper in her fists, pulling you impossibly close and deepening the kiss with a satisfied hum.

eventually needing to come up for air the two of you pulled away, exchanging a few sweet pecks before you grabbed her hand, tugging her out of the kitchen and whisking her away to continue with your plans.

~

"like this?" you asked holding up a freshly folded piece of ravioli, alessias smile softening at the way your face was scrunched up in concentration, the tip of your tongue just poking out of the corner of your mouth. "yeah, that looks good." alessia complimented, you adding your one piece to her basically completed pile, humming with satisfaction at your efforts.

"now please sit down. you've been so sweet and thoughtful today let me at least cook you dinner amore mio." alessia placed a tender kiss to your lips before playfully shooing you away as you pulled yourself up to sit on the counter, not wanting to be far from her.

she began to speak to you and at first you were following along and contributing to the conversation but as she began to roll out the next batch of pasta you found yourself minimized to only half listened hums in response.

fixated on the way her biceps flexed and tensed as she kneaded at the dough, eyes falling to the veins lining her ring clad hands as they poked and stretched at the pasta, alessia expertly rolling and manipulating it as she needed.

quickly noting your lackluster responses your girlfriend glanced up to find your gaze trained to her forearms, an amused smile settling on her lips as she purposefully rolled up the sleeves of her top and pressed a little harder than normal, flexing her arms and watching with a smug smile as you let out a small content sigh.

rolling out the last of the dough, having already filled and molded most of it into perfect little raviolis the older girl grew bored of your wordless responses. so with a mischievous glint in her eyes the italian grabbed a handful of flour and before you even had a moment to think you were surrounded by a tornado of white, choking on the flecks that made their way into your mouth and frantically rubbing at your eyes.

your girlfriend almost fell to the floor in laughter as you coughed a few times and attempted to shake the loose flour off the top of your head. "alessia!" you managed to choke out in shock, jumping down from the counter and grabbing your own handful of flour, quick to smack it into her head as she was too busy laughing at your misfortune to defend herself.

from that moment on your kitchen became a war zone, the two of you chasing one another around taking turns to douse the other, melodious laughter's echoing around the empty flat as your footsteps pounded against the floor.

"okay truce! we still have to clean this up." alessia glanced around at the ever growing mess as you paused, hand full of flour raised and ready to strike as the taller girl held her hands up in surrender, letting out a small sigh of relief as you emptied your hand onto the counter rather than into her once freshly washed hair.

what she failed to notice was you quickly slip an egg she'd not needed into the pocket of your her nike shorts, attaching yourself to her and bringing the blonde into a sweet kiss, her defenses instantly lowering and leaving her right where you wanted her, blissfully unaware of what you had planned.

"i think you mean you still need to clean this up because you started it!" you pulled away with a shake of your head, feeling the strikers hands slowly slide downwards, eventually settling themselves on your bum. "isn't the rule 'one cooks, one cleans'?" the blonde asked with a cheeky smile, squeezing at your bum and stealing a kiss before you could tell her off.

"is it?" you asked with a put on confused frown, hand slipping into your pocket and tightly gripping the egg, arm darting out to smash it over your girlfriends head as she was mid sentence. the girl let out a squeal at the unexpected attack, large hands grabbing for you as you tried to make a hasty getaway, almost slipping in the egg now joining the flour all over your once spotless floor the striker was quick to catch you, pulling you easily back to your feet.

though she should have known better given her own clumsy nature as no sooner had she steadied you did she slip herself, hands still settled protectively on your waist she unintentionally pulled you down with her.

the two of you shared a look before bursting out into laughter, rolling around on the floor and clutching at your stomachs, gradually crawling toward one another as alessias hand grabbed at the collar of your jumper, tugging you into a searing kiss as she carefully maneuvered herself to hover over you.

caught up in the blissful sensation of her mouth on yours you paid her no mind as she was quick to pin your hands to the cold tiled floor under her knees, settling herself on top of you before pulling away. it wasn't until you looked up and saw the knowing smirk on the blondes face did you realise what her intent was, the taller girl easily stretching up and grabbing what she was after from the counter.

"don't you dare." you warned seriously, squirming underneath her attempting to free yourself but it was to no use as your girlfriend was easily the stronger of the two of you. "you seemed to think it was pretty amusing, no?" alessias smirk widened as she twirled the egg around between her fingers.

"less please come on, you started it!" you whined in protest, trying to crane your neck away from her as her free hand reached out to grab your jaw, firmly holding your head in place as your stomach flipped at the action. 

ignoring your pleas the striker gently tapped the egg on the floor before cracking it open on your forehead, watching with a grin as your glare up at her deepened and the yolk dripped down your face. 

"so we have flour, egg...what's missing?" alessia pretended to think, mockingly stroking at her chin as you spat up all sorts of colorful language and threats in her direction as she grabbed the half full cup of water from the counter and you bucked your hips up trying to throw her off of you.

pushing her body down she was quick to once again have you at her mercy, the striker teasingly tipping the cup toward you but stopping right before the water tipped over the edge. "russo if you want to enter tomorrow a single woman i dare you to tip that cup." you spoke scarily calm, stormy eyes locked with hers in a silent promise.

"you're the cutest little ravioli i ever did see." alessia smirked, putting the cup down and dipping her head, breath warm against your lips as you shook your head, eyes still slit into a glare. "get off me." you demanded firmly, the striker lifting her hips to sit back on her knees  and allowing you to wriggle your body out from underneath hers.

"clean this up and cook that, i'm going for a shower." you ordered as you carefully stood to your feet, crossing your arms and jutting your hip out to the side as the blondes smile only widened, sitting up on her knees and grabbing at you, hugging your lower half as her head rested on your stomach.

"has anyone ever told you that you're extra fit when you're mad?" the girls hands began to wander, fingers tugging gently at the waistband of your shorts. "just some annoying blonde one night stand i can't seem to get rid of." you quipped back, hands finding hers and moving them away.

"well she sounds like a nightmare." alessia tutted with a shake of her head, hands instead sliding up the bottom of your shorts, tracing lines on your inner thighs. "the worst. just so clingy and needy, some people can't take a hint i guess." you shrugged, beginnings of a smile ghosting at your lips as you ran your hands fondly through her flour filled hair.

"want me to get rid of her for you? sounds like she could be dangerous." the blonde offered, your breath hitching slightly as her hands moved even higher. 

"oh yeah she's a stage five clinger, some would say even borderline a stalker! lets herself into my home and walks around with no pants on, eats all my food, hogs the duvet, whinges when i'm on her side of the bed but has a cry when i don't cuddle her enough, forces me to go to all of her stupid football matches then forces me into these disgustingly sweaty hugs when she wins, god she is terribly clumsy and-" having enough of your teasing alessia tugged on your matching top and short sending you falling into her awaiting grip, laying down on the floor with you now on top of her, your mouths moving together in perfect sync.

"sounds like you should break up with her." alessia mumbled into the kiss with an amused smile. "i've tried six times she just keeps coming back, i think she's in denial." you muttered as you moved your lips to focus on her neck, knowing exactly where the girl needed you.

"best alessia day ever." the blonde almost moaned as you softly bit down on her pressure point, hands firmly gripping at your back holding you on top of her. "you know i think i've decided its an ick you keep referring to yourself in the third person, kind of a turn off." you sat up far too quickly for her liking, looking down at her with pity as she rolled her eyes at your continued teasing's.

"i love you." alessia dropped the act and spoke sincerely, eyes shining with nothing but adoration and borderline obsession with the girl sat on top of her. "i love you more." you smiled, bending to pepper her face with kisses before again affirming you both really needed to shower and clean up, both of you getting to your feet.

"good thing you've got that clingy blonde stalker, could she clean up for us?" "yeah you know what i think i'll keep her around for a little while longer."

~ translations; bella - beautiful ti amo tantissimo, mia bella ragazza - i love you so much my beautiful girl amore mio - my love

#woso #woso x reader #alessia russo #woso fanfics #woso imagine #engwnt #alessia russo x reader #woso blurbs #fic recs

[harlowcomehome]

Easy:

Inspired by the song Easy by Ella Mai. I suggest listening to it while you read!

When you really thought about how long you had known one another, it brought a smile to your face. You and Jack had known each other for five years, but you found it extremely difficult to remember a time when he wasn’t in your life.

It was 2017 when you and your best friend Shelby stumbled upon Jack and his friends filming the music video for “Dark Knight.” You had both started your sophomore year of college and were spending the weekend in Kentucky finally letting loose at some local clubs.

Something about Jacks over-eager confidence and the way he carried himself caught your immediate attention. You couldn’t hear what he was saying but you heard the tone of his voice, intrigued by what was going on, the two of you stopped and watched.

His friend, who you later knew as Copelan had approached you first. He was eyeing Shelby up and down and you knew he was her type so you left her to talk with the curly-haired guy approaching you.

“Hey, I’m Jack, it’s nice to meet you” his voice was deep, his subtle southern accent lingering at the tail end of his words. He shook your hand, keeping things extremely formal which caught you off guard at first. The smile he wore ear to ear was telling, and he maintained eye contact when he spoke to you.

By the end of the night the two of you had gotten to know each other pretty well, Jack sat with you a majority of the night as everyone else messed around, taking pictures and editing what had already been filmed of the music video.

His best friend Urban came over to show him some of the pictures, sitting along the brick wall with the both of you before excusing himself to smoke.

It was quiet for a moment until Jack spoke again “I’m actually moving to Atlanta soon.” He had been holding that in all night, waiting for the right time to share that information.

“Oh yeah?” You cheekily hummed, eyeing over his features. “Why didn’t you tell me when I told you where I go to college, dork?”

“Hey! I just met you. I had to make sure it was safe first” he joked, a snort escaping him. His laugh caught you off guard, making you lean against him as you giggled too.

••••

Fast forward to present day, you and Jack had kept in touch over the years with flights back and forth to one another as often as possible.

You and Jack had only tiptoed around the idea of being with one another, the two of you afraid to cross certain boundaries but silently welcoming others. You had never slept together, in the same bed sure, but with one another, never. (Although, you’d both jump at the chance.) You always kissed but it was never around anyone else and stayed between the two of you.

You couldn’t help but feel like a secret, but feeling as though you had no leg to stand on when it came to confronting the situation you stayed quiet even when it ate at you.

You were waiting for him in the parking lot, leaning against your car. He was running late today which was unlike him, making your anxiety heighten. You nervously picked at your nails, trying to mentally remind yourself to stop.

When you saw a familiar car pull in, a smile spread across your face. Jack was quick to get out of his car, immediately spotting you.

“Hey you” Jack jogged over to you his curls bouncing off his forehead with every sway. He held you with his entire body, the smell of his cologne hitting you like a freight train.

“I’m so sorry! I was supposed to leave the photoshoot an hour ago but there were reshoots and I had to push the music video back Urban was supposed to tell you but seeing as though I’m the only one here I-“

You kissed him, knocking the wind out of him momentarily. You were slightly worried that he’d be quick to pull away you did first and when he didn’t you deepened the kiss, slipping your tongue between his recently moisturized lips.

“Sorry, I just missed you.”

His eyes widened, surprised at your bold move, but he didn’t hate it. He looked around briefly before leaning into you for another long-lasting kiss, his hands exploring your backside as the two of you fought for air.

“You’re actually the last one here, everyone else is inside.”

“Oh! So I’m being a diva?” He smirked, knowing you had referred to him as a diva one time two years ago and it really stuck.

“Once a diva, always a diva” Your face got warm at the banter between the two of you. It would only be a brief moment before you were brought down to Earth by the chaos in the room but you embraced it nonetheless.

“Oooo stink, you get on my nerves” he playfully rolled his eyes as he turned to lock his car.

“You know I hate that nickname” you giggled as you walked arm and arm to the door of the video set.

“Hates a very strong word” he blushed, bending down to kiss you before slipping his arm out of yours and opening the door.

“Yeah, that’s why I’d rather tell you that I love you,” you thought to yourself. The words fought to come out of your mouth, instead, you gave him a soft smile as the doors opened.

Jack had been trying to film four music videos back to back for his most recent concept album, and when he asked you to be his love interest you didn’t hesitate even when the storyline felt oddly familiar. You never poked at his lyrics or his art, letting him tell the stories he wanted to and keeping whatever you assumed to yourself.

“Y/N? Cole, nice to meet you” Cole Bennett was the director on set, Jack trusted him with his vision so it made the most sense for him to film the music videos for this album.

“This is y/n. She’s my love interest today” Jack teasingly responded knowing only you would understand the weight behind his words.

“Perfect! I need you both on set marked number one over there”

Cole pointed to the left corner of the studio, and you walked with Jack trying to meet his pace. He immediately went into work mode, his demeanor much more polished than two minutes ago.

The rest of the girls on set gawked at him, as you walked by. A sense of pride came over you, knowing he had picked you and not them but you were always quickly brought back down to Earth.

“I think I got lip gloss on your mustache” you whispered as the two of you sat and waited at set one. Jack opened his camera on his phone, wiping it from his facial hair.

“We have to be more careful” he whispered, only half jokingly which you ignored as best as you could.

After hair and makeup were complete, you were eager to get the scenes done, but time was going by so slowly with Jack growing more and more irritable by the minutes that passed.

“Hey, it’s going to be fine. Breathe” you whispered between takes, feeling his frustrations shining through.

“I think the lighting is too harsh, don’t you think?” Jack hollered out to Cole pointing to the yellow lighting above the two of you. Ignoring your efforts to calm him.

“It has to be unplugged from the top, we can turn one off otherwise it’ll be too dark and it won’t contrast well” Cole started to look around for a ladder.

“I can go ask the hardware store next door if we can borrow one?” Urban suggested.

“That will take too long. I’ll just stand on the car” Jack replied earning worried looks from Urban and Copelan who were both on set.

“Just wait a second dude” Copelan scoffed knowing how impatient Jack could be.

“Fuck that” Jack jumped up on the back end of the car, moving it slightly as he stood on his tiptoes to unplug the light beam, it was then that he lost his footing falling off the back end of the car with a thump.

“FUCK!” His voice echoed throughout the studio and you quickly jumped out of the car and to his aid as everyone else scrambled over to the both of you.

“Bubs, holy shit. Are you okay?” You weren’t mindful of the nickname given the circumstance and no one had heard you but him anyway.

Jack was holding his ankle, rocking back and forth as he winced in pain. “Mmmm- nope, no.” He was trying to focus on his breathing but the throbbing was increasingly worse by the seconds that passed.

“Fuck- we need a medic. Now” Cole saw the swelling grow worse and worse, Jack's ankle the size of a baseball.

“I need you to lean back on your hands and stretch your legs out okay? Urban can you get the pillows from set two?” You were trying your best to help him as best as you could without panicking.

Urban nodded running off to get the pillows to elevate his foot.

Jack swallowed, noticing the eyes on the two of you. Nobody else had gotten too close or involved as you clearly had it covered.

“Why don’t I just wait for a medic? You don’t really know what you’re doing, right?”

The girls on set had giggled to themselves, but loud enough for you to hear.

His entire mood had changed based on the sets of eyes on the two of you, and it wasn’t the first time you had noticed this happen but it was the first time you had been embarrassed enough to react.

You shot him a look of disgust, laced with hurt and he knew he had seriously fucked up. He was in too much pain to respond but he knew later he’d have to do some serious groveling.

Urban showed up with the pillows at the perfect time.

“You can work that out with him.” You mumbled as you pushed past both him and Copelan.

“Wait! Where are you going?” Copelan asked, realizing that everything had changed in an instant. He followed you as you went to get your purse and cell phone.

“Considering our leading man is down for the count? Home.” Your words were laced with anger, trying your best to bite back the frustrated tears as you threw your purse on your shoulder.

“You know he didn’t mean that. He’s just probably embarrassed that he ate shit in front of all the pretty models” Copelan thought his joke would be helpful but if anything it twisted the metaphorical knife that Jack had just inserted into your heart.

You couldn’t hold it in anymore, tears immediately falling from your eyes as the EMTS pushed through the set doors.

“Oh shit. Y/N- he didn’t… I didn’t…” Copelan had no idea what to say or do, turning to look for Urban's assistance as he stumbled over all of his words.

“What did you say?” Urban's face was doused in concern.

You took the opportunity as your moment to leave, rushing out of the doors to your car as Jack groaned out in pain as they struggled to put all six foot three of him on a gurney. The sounds of him screaming made your heart hurt, piercing your eye drums as the set doors shut as you walked to your car.

Urban followed you outside, knowing this wasn’t like you at all. “Y/N!” He ran toward you, hoping he’d be successful at attempting to make you stay.

“Urban- I don’t want to” you breathed heavily trying to steady yourself. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“He’s just in pain so he’s being an asshole” Urban made excuses for him, as he always did.

“Urban- please.”

“You love him” Urban spoke matter of factly, and you knew it wasn’t a question as he blocked you from opening your car door.

“Of course I do, he’s my fucking best friend” You aggressively wiped your face as best as you could to look at Urban.

“No, that’s not what I mean and you know it” Urban awkwardly chuckled, knowing that someday he would have to be in the middle of your maybe not-so-secret romance.

“What does it even matter? He doesn’t feel the same. It’s fine. I just want to go home” you begged, Urban standing in front of your car door. The anxiety of him knowing the depth of your situation had finally hit you.

“Wait- how long have you known?”

“Forecastle weekend?” Urban smugly replied, knowing that was almost a year ago as he stepped away from your car door.

“Remember when he was freaking out about getting on the roof?”

You smiled through your tears knowing exactly what Urban was referring to. “It doesn’t matter now. Can I go home?” You panicked as the set doors opened and Jack was being wheeled to the ambulance.

“You know he’s going to want you there right?” Urban looked over at Jack for a moment but you had already shut your car door.

••••

Two days had passed and Jack was constantly blowing up your phone, with apologies and pleas to see you. You hadn’t replied, turning your read receipts on to prove a point. He had sent flowers, and an edible arrangement but you wouldn’t budge.

He hated being ignored, and you hated being embarrassed, a cruel toss-up.

Urban had been in Jack's ear for the last 48 hours, telling him how much of an idiot he was for how he had acted.

“If you knew about us this whole goddamn time why didn’t you just say something?” Jack struggled to carry his cereal bowl as he had to move around with crutches through his household.

“Here” Urban grabbed the bowl from him and placed it on the kitchen table. “Sit your grumpy ass down.”

Jack cocked a furrowed brow at him, obeying his demand anyway as he struggled to sit down.

“I haven’t known the whole time, only since forecastle weekend. Remember when you asked everyone to give you space?”

Jack nodded trying to recall that moment.

“She stayed with you remember? I left my camera in the room and when I went to get it I saw the two of you kissing.”

Before Jack could say anything Urban interrupted, “And I never told anyone.”

Jack was shocked that Urban hadn’t called him out this entire time. “Why didn’t you say something to me? At least?”

“Figured eventually the two of you would grow the fuck up, guess I was wrong” Urban sighed.

“Me?” Jack scoffed knowing you were intentionally pushing his buttons by ignoring him. “I’ve been trying to talk to her for two days. She won’t answer any of my calls.”

Urban reached in his pant pockets for his cell phone and placed it on top of the table, opening his text conversations with you and sliding it over to Jack.

“She texts me almost every two to three hours and asks about how you are doing.”

Jack's eyes scanned over the messages between you and Urban, a wave of guilt coming over him. “If she texted me, she would know how I’m doing.”

“Keep reading” Urban scrolled down to your last text to him.

Y/N: It’s more than this one instant Urb. It’s all the time, he makes me feel like he’s embarrassed of me and maybe he is so I’m going to stop trying.

“Why would she think that?” Jack was frustrated his ego too inflated to understand in the moment.

“Remember last month when she flew out to go to that game with us? You made her sit with me and Neelam.”

“Okay?” Jack threw his hands up defensively.

“Okay. Or when your mom told you two that you’d be a good couple and you told her you only saw her as a sister.”

“Oh,” Jack started to think of all the instances he downplayed the situation in front of everyone realizing there was more than just those two. He still had Urban's phone in his hand when another text came through.

Y/N: Checking in?

Jack started to furiously type before Urban realized what he was doing it was too late.

“What did you tell her?” Urban grabbed his phone and read over what Jack had sent.

“You think this will work?”

Y/N: On my way.

“I know my girl” Jack smirked.

••••

When you got to Jack's house Urban was waiting outside for you with his arms crossed against his chest. “He took my phone, I have nothing to do with this.”

“Are you kidding me? I almost ran over three pedestrians to get over here.”

“Please just talk to him. He’s driving me bat shit” Urban clapped his hands together pleading for you to stay.

“Fine. I’ll make sure he eats and takes his pills. Go home and I’ll put the big baby to sleep” you groaned, locking your car door as Jack waited eagerly for you in the kitchen.

The front door slammed shut and Jack immediately made his presence known using his crutches to appear in the entryway.

“Hi,” he spoke first.

“Hi,” you mumbled in return eyeing over his wrapped foot and exposed toes.

“You’re an idiot and you desperately need a pedicure. ”

“I deserve that” he smiled, wiggling his toes before pointing to the table with his crutch for you to follow him.

“Where are your pills? Do I need to make you something? Or did you lie to get me here?”

“You weren’t talking to me!”

“So you text me that you wouldn’t take your pain pills or eat until I came to you? Are you insane?”

“It worked didn’t it?”

“Yeah, but only because I didn’t want you to get sick or drive Urban crazy when you were being hangry.” You sat beside him at the table as you took his crutches, moving them out of his way as he steadied himself in his seat.

“You came because you care about me” he was trying to be playful but you were over all the subtly.

“I came because I love you” You felt like you had just imploded any chance of a friendship but you didn’t care, you had to say it.

“You don’t” Jack scoffed, in denial of all that you just laid out to him. His fingers trembled as they sat on top of the table.

“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t feel” Your words were laced with hurt and you could feel the intensity of the room.

“You love the idea of me. You know that I can’t be all that you need, right? I have a busy life” The panic in his voice told you he was terrified of what you said to him.

“I knew what I was getting into. Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid. I know who you are, and all that you come with. Trust me you don’t ever let me forget it.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Jack was caught off guard by your jab.

“There’s a reason you don’t acknowledge me in public isn’t there? I don’t fit your little aesthetic, I get it” you laughed, standing up and grabbing your purse to leave yet again.

“You know that’s not true. Please. Stay” he begged, his voice cracking. “I can’t chase you, or I would.”

“Tell me. What are you so fucking afraid of?” You stood up as he shuffled in his chair. You handed him his crutches knowing he wanted to stand now too.

“That I love you too and that being with you is the easiest part of my life. That if we overcomplicate things now, I’ll lose you and I know I can’t physically handle that” he felt like he swallowed a spoon full of sand.

The words repeated in your head over and over, blinking back tears.

“Who did you think this entire album was about?” He smirked as your face softened. A wave of relief came over the two of you.

“Shut up right now- did you just say you loved me?”

“I said- who did you think this album was about? But before that I definitely said I love you, yeah” he couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as you took a step forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he struggled to balance himself eventually sitting in the kitchen chair that was behind him.

You bent down, eye level with him, cupping his face.

“I love you, you diva.”

“I love you, stink.”

#Jack Harlow #Jack Harlow x reader #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow imagines #Jack Harlow fan fic #Jack Harlow angst

[ellana-ravenwood]

“I HATE YOU !” - Batfam/Batkids x fem!reader/Batmom

Synopsis : Not everything is always made of sunshines and rainbows. Sometimes, things go wrong. Sometimes, your children lash out at you, and scream : “I hate you !” before storming off...A story about how you handle those burst of anger from each of your kids, over the span of a few years.

Please, do not repost my stories anywhere else, under any other form. Do not translate and then repost them either. Thank you.

My masterlists : @ella-ravenwood-archives​

_________________________________________________

DICK 

"I HATE YOU !!” 

He screams, running off and closing the door behind him violently. 

BANG !!

You’re not sure that “bang” is the sound of the door slamming, or your heart breaking. 

This was the first time your child said something so hurtful to you. And it was quite a shock. You weren’t sure how to react. 

As if moved by instinct, Bruce immediately moved next to you, and put an arm around your shoulder, as if to shield you from the hurt. It was only a little bit comforting...

When he was younger, Dick struggled greatly with his anger. He had trouble managing it, and it’s only after a big fight with Bruce, and some times apart, that he truly started to understand himself, and become the man he was now. 

The reason he left with the Titans, and then later, left for Bludhaven...was his mismanaged anger. And it was also yours and Bruce’s fault. You were still new parents, you were still learning, you didn’t always have the best reactions. 

Bruce would react with anger too, which he knew now was the worst thing he could do. But to his defense (and you would always defend him), he was also just processing his trauma, and trying to navigate how to “tackle” his son’s own traumatic experience. He wasn’t sure how to act, with that kid. 

He was too strict, he expected too much, because he wanted Dick to NOT reiterate his own mistakes. He wanted his boy to feel better, to be able to be happy...something he thought he could never be again, before meeting you. 

It took a very long time for Bruce, to get out of this dark pit he buried himself in. He didn’t want Dick to take the same path. He wanted him to NOT be a second “Batman”. He wanted him to be his own man. 

Which lead to a lot of mistakes. But hey, you couldn’t be a perfect parent all the time. And let’s admit it, Dick wasn’t always easy to handle. Especially during his fits of anger, which he sometimes had when he was young, and which slowly disappeared during his teenage years (although even today, if you truly managed to make him angry, he could get quite scary...Ah, but like father like son). 

You didn’t even remember why he told you “I hate you”, it was all a blur now, years later. But you remember how you felt. 

Heartbroken, like you failed as a parent. As if you weren’t enough for that little boy, who had lost everything and was “forced” to become part of your family. 

That simple “I hate you” had triggered so many questions in yours and Bruce’s mind. How could you react ? Not like he gave you the time to, as he left the room right away. 

What was the right reaction ? What if he did truly hate you ? What could you do to salvage this relationship ? What-

You were both so lost. 

You would do many more mistakes as parents, but that day-

That day, things got resolved on their own, as Dick came back a few moments later, with an apologetic look on his face. 

It was clear he wanted to pretend nothing had happened. Yet, that child had already a lot more emotional intelligence than most, and instead of ignoring everything, he just said : 

“You know I love you, right ?” 

And that was the end of it. And a first step to understand an important, and key thing about raising a child : sometimes, they WILL lash out at you. And say they hate you. But they never truly mean it. It’s just a way of processing an overwhelming amount of negative emotions. A way to protect themselves. 

“I hate you.”, often comes from the opposite feeling. They love you so much, but they’re angry, and they think of the first thing that could hurt you and-

Dick never said it again after that. In fact, it was almost a biggest traumatic experience to him, than it was to you. Because he hated feeling this ugly things, and he hated hurting others, especially not those he loved. “I hate you”, were words he never meant towards anyone. He felt so bad, about telling them to you and Bruce, who took him in as your own child. 

But beyond that, what made him entirely stop even thinking about saying that again. Beyond that, he never said it again, even when he fought with his dad, because he knew. He never crossed that limit again, because he knew. Him most of everyone, knew. Life was so short, and what if the last thing he told you or Bruce was : “I hate you ?” 

He could never forgive himself. And for him too, this was an important step. One step closer, to controlling his anger, to understand himself, to let himself feel, and explain his feelings. 

Yes. This first “I hate you”, was an important moment for all of you. Parents, and child. A first stone set upon a building, that would grow each year. A first experience showing that not everything could be perfect, and that mistakes would be made. 

But as long as you were there for each others, and as long as you knew that no matter what, you would always love one another...You’d pull through the hardest times. 

JASON

Talking about the hardest of times. 

Jason was a good kid. He never once told you he hated you, before his death. On the contrary. The boy never shied away from expressing his feelings. 

He would outright tell you and Bruce, that he loved you. He would show you by countless kind acts towards you two, that he was the happiest he’s ever been, since you adopted him. 

Finally. Finally he felt safe and loved. Finally he had an actual family, people who cared about him...Why would he tell them that he hated them ? 

No. Never would it have come to Jason’s mind to use those words towards you. 

Oh, oh but after his death ? After his traumatic resurrection ? After he came back to Gotham City, only to find out you not only “replaced” him (his feelings towards Tim at first were...complicated), but you also never killed that hateful clown ?? 

Jason hated you. He hated you so much. 

But it was because he loved you. He always worshipped you and his dad, viewed you as those perfect beings who saved him from a life of misery. This was probably “his” first mistake...Nobody was perfect. 

But in Jason’s eyes, his mom and dad were. You and Bruce. 

And so when he came back, and neither of you avenged his death, he felt so hurt that- 

“I hate you.”

Those words, he said them a lot. In total contrast of him before the “incident”, before it all went to sh-. 

“I hope you know I hate you. So much. I wish I had never met you.” 

He wasn’t “half-assing” it, Dick would say. No. He definitely went “full ass” on you and Bruce, not hesitating for a second to express his high level of anger towards you two. 

And the worst ? Neither of you were mad at him for it, on the contrary. His words summed up years of your life. Years of you two hating yourselves for not being able to save your son, and not having the guts to go through with it concerning “The Joker”. 

You didn’t even think about defending yourselves. You understood how hurt he was. You-You deserved his anger. You deserved his hate. 

Ah, but Jason never really truly hated you. Deep down, his harsh words were born from feeling hurt and rejected. 

You two were the only persons who ever made Jason feel safe. When he came back, and saw you “moved on”, that you weren’t mourning him anymore (which wasn’t true, it might’ve appeared like that for the sake of Dick and Tim, but neither you nor Bruce could ever heal from one of your children’s death, the wound would always bleed), and that you didn’t take revenge-

He felt like it had all been fake. Like you never loved him. Like you lied to him, all those times you called him your son, or when you told him you loved him, and that he meant so much to you. 

Jason hated you, because he thought you never loved him. How ironic, right ? 

Thinking back to it, maybe you should’ve been more obvious with your feelings. Tell him since the first day you realized he came back, that you loved him, and that living without him was torture. 

That losing him was unbearable, and that you and Bruce almost broke for good (but had to be strong for the rest of the family). 

Maybe, you should’ve told him everything right away. And not let his anger fester. Not let him say more and more “I hate you”s. Maybe...

Ah, but it was easy, to look back at an event and think : “what if ?”. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t go that way. You were so shocked by Jason’s anger towards you, and thought so much you deserved it, that you didn’t immediately tell him how you truly felt. 

And it took all of you so much time, to finally talk. To finally understand each other. To finally forgive. Jason, to forgive you. You and Bruce, to forgive yourselves. 

So much wasted time...

Jason would always regret how he told you many times he hated you. Because it was never true. What he wanted to hear, in answer to those words, was : “I love you.”...He just didn’t know how to process all his emotions. 

And you would always regret that it took you so damn long to finally chase after your son, and make sure he knew you loved him. Make sure he knew he meant everything to you. 

It wasn’t a work you did alone. Thanks god for Alfred, Dick, and even Tim. 

And thanks god for Jason’s strength, for how he was able to forgive, even as he-

Yes. This would be a great source of regret for all of you. Maybe that was why, nowadays, Jason would NEVER shy away (once more) to say “I love you mom”, and why you made sure you told him, and showed him your love, every chance you got...

TIM

Even the most loving, sweetest kids, sometimes say hurtful things. 

Tim was one of those adorable children, who always wanted to help, whom you could always count on, but who would hide away his feelings too much for his own good, and would eventually break. 

“When coming from a child in whom there is generally a love-based relationship, ‘I hate you’ is a normal part of emotional and psychological development”, said a psychotherapist to you once (mental health issues were given a very important place, in the Wayne’s household...None of you ever felt ashamed of needing a little professional help at times). 

You experienced it with Dick and Jason. You knew it would eventually happen with Tim. Especially since he could be a little emotionally stunted at times. 

Tim wanted SO MUCH to help, and to save everyone, and to be there for the one he loved...he would often burry his own feelings, and pretend everything was ok. And sometimes, like a volcano, he would explose. 

Like today. But you were expecting it. 

It hadn’t been long since, unfortunately, Conner passed away. 

Conner Kent was an important person for your family. You always adored the kid (and he was the source of the very few fights you had with Clark, as you hated how he initially treated the boy). But he was probably the most important to your Tim. 

Although he never admitted it by then, you were pretty sure your son was in love with Superboy. That they weren’t only the best of friends. And you were pretty sure Conner shared his feelings...

But now, now they could never truly talk about it. 

Because Conner was gone. And he wasn’t coming back (A/N : yeah you know, comics, so we know he’ll eventually come back, but for the drama of it all, it seemed at the time that he wasn’t going to). 

It was hard for your son to process that. He became even more obsessed with his “work”, skipping school to spend all his time on his vigilante cases. 

And that day, he had skipped school once too many, and you and Bruce decided you would ground him. Forbid him, for a little while, to go out as Red Robin. And-

And that probably wasn’t your best idea. Probably wasn’t how you should’ve handled that at the time. Punishing him wasn’t the way to go, you knew that now. Oh, but it was easy, when you had the few steps back years later, to realize your mistake. On the moment though, it seemed like the only thing to do to save your son from dying out of exhaustion. 

His reaction was both expected, and unexpected. 

You knew he would snap at some point. You just didn’t expect him to snap because he was grounded...

“I HATE YOU !!” He screamed, truly angry, throwing a book across the room. 

But you knew. You knew he didn’t hate you. He was hurt, and sad, and he didn’t know how to handle all his emotions. 

He didn’t hate you, he hated himself. 

He hated himself for not being able to save his friend. To save the man he loved. To-

Tim always made it his mission, to save everyone. Especially those close to his heart. And so this, was a failure he had a hard time handling. 

It translated in that “I hate you” he threw your way. 

But you knew. You knew how he felt. 

“Well, it’s too bad, because I love you.” 

You answered, and you could see he was taken aback by this. You could see he was struggling with himself, and wasn’t sure what to say. 

“I love you, Tim. I love you so much.” 

Tears. Welling up on the corner of his eyes. And then it was another kind of volcano erupting...

All sign of anger disappeared, as he collapsed in your arms, and finally- 

Finally let himself mourn the death of his best friend, and first love. 

DAMIAN

It happened not long after your youngest boy came into your life. 

Damian had disappointed his dad. He knew it. He had killed a man, because he thought it was the only way to stop him from hurting his family. 

It came from a good intention. He wanted to stop someone from arming his loved ones. He wanted to permanently make sure that person wouldn’t come back one day, and kill his dad, his siblings, or you (he hadn’t yet came to call you “mom”, but it would come soon). 

It came from good intentions. 

He wanted to protect. And the only way he was taught how to do that, while in the League of Shadows, was to kill. Because, what was more permanent than death ? What would assure your safety, but to kill the danger ? 

But your son knew. He knew he wasn’t supposed to do that anymore. He knew his father expected him to do better. He knew...Yet he hadn’t been able to control himself. And he was feeling really bad about it. 

Of course, Bruce would forgive him. Would not give up on him. But still, Damian disappointed him. He disappointed you. Or so he thought, at least. 

He was feeling so bad about himself...And here it came.

Instead of expressing his feelings about all of that, instead of putting into words, or in drawing form for example (his go-to way to express himself), he lashed out. 

And unfortunately, you were in his way. He turned his negative feelings towards you, but you weren’t about to let him run with it. 

Damian wasn’t your first child. You had dealt with the “I hate you” phrase before, hell you even had to go through the very painful “You’re not my REAL mom” one (you can read this in that story : “You’re not my real mom”)...You more or less knew how to handle it now. 

An immediate emotional response would only make it worst. And so, as Damian yells : 

“I HATE YOU !!” at you, after you tried to talk to him about what he did (you wanted to comfort him, he took it the wrong way...which could happen with anyone), you took a deep breath. 

You stayed silent for a few seconds. And then you looked at him right in the eyes, and said : 

“No, I’m sorry. You may not speak this way to me. Let’s try to calm down first and then get to the bottom of what is going on. I can tell you are feeling very stressed, angry, overwhelmed. I can imagine a lot is going on and it’s making you feel such strong emotions inside, emotions of 'hate.' You probably feel you hate everything, all the things you need to do and all the stuff 'we' make you do. It’s hard. I know. Let’s talk about it.” 

Damian was stunned. He did not expect this response. He thought you would hate him in return, or be mad at him. 

“Hating me or using those words to express your anger is not going to help you fix how you’re feeling. It may make you feel 'good' in the moment of saying it, but not later. You will likely feel regret, feel sorry, feel bad. That doesn’t feel good. So, no saying that. But let’s talk about all the stress you feel. Let’s talk about your feelings, Damian. Please. Tell me what’s wrong, and how we can fix it."

Damian wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t. 

He had never been taught to accept failure. Nobody ever told him it was ok to not feel well. Nobody- Nobody ever expressed understanding towards him. 

He felt his throat choking up. He felt tears coming to his eyes. He felt-

He turned away from you, still use to hide those feelings. Still used to not show any sign of weakness. He turned away- But you delicately caught his chin in your hand, and turned his face back to you. 

And in your eyes...In your eyes, he could see that you wouldn’t give up on him. That you wouldn’t turn away, even as he made mistakes. That you were here for him. That you- 

That day, you received from him a hug. The very first hug he ever gave you. And of course, you answered it by wrapping him in your own arms. 

And Damian felt safe. Wanted. Loved. And he heard himself spill everything to you. He heard himself talk to you about his worries, about how he hated himself, about-

Everything. 

He told you everything. And most of all, he told you that of course, he didn’t hate you. He could never hate you.  

CASS

Cass wanted to hurt you. She was so angry, frustrated and upset, that her next few words were specifically aimed at hurting your feelings : 

“I hate you.” 

She says flatly, yet in a very definite tone. She knows what she’s doing, and she knows she’ll most likely regret it later. But right now, blinded by rage, she says those dreadful words anyway.

Unfortunately for Cass, by now, you knew that when one of your children lashed out at you in that way, they didn’t truly mean it. You and Alfred came to an analogy, for when your kids would suddenly want to hurt you with their words : 

They were like a tea kettle. 

In that way, that when the water's boiling, the kettle sings, and is too hot to handle. It takes time for the water to get back to room temperature. Right ? Well, when their water was too hot, they simply couldn’t think clearly anymore, as they entered fight or flight mode. Which is why they reflexively use the hate word, to "protect" themselves from their vulnerable feelings.

Right now, Cass’ water was way too hot, for reasons that honestly wouldn’t matter anymore in a few hours. And so she said : “I hate you.” 

Step by step. A deep breath. A small silence. And then you say : 

"No, you don’t hate me. But I know that at times we don’t see eye to eye or it feels I am in your way or that I don’t understand. You’re right, I don’t always understand, but I want to. Sometimes, I am in your way, simply because I am still raising you. It’s OK if you don’t always agree with me. My job is not for us to agree on everything but to hopefully provide you with what you need for a few more years until you’ll take care of yourself all on your own."

This seems to fuel her rage even more. How dare you be understanding, while she’s trying to hurt you ? How dare you answer her bile with kind words ? 

"I get that you’re angry but hate is not the way to label that or express that. I want us to be able to discuss our differences and even teach each other things. I also want to hear what you have to say. So, no more saying, 'I hate you’, regardless of how angry, frustrated, or stressed you feel. From now on, you will just tell me about your feelings and I will listen. Alright ?'

Not alright. At least for her, in that moment. Instead of talking, she glares at you, turn around, and leaves, slamming the door behind her, with all her might. Too angry to listen, or to talk. And you know what ? It was ok. 

It was ok, if things weren’t immediately resolved in the moment. You had learned that, over the years. It was ok, if right now, she was not willing to talk it out. To explain. To release her anger. She just needed time. And that was ok. 

And so you let her storm off, and waited. 

You didn’t have to wait for very long. A few hours later, she came back to you. Looking ashamed, and sad. 

Ah, but you made sure she had nothing to feel ashamed off. It was ok to be angry, it was ok to not know how to handle one’s own emotions. It was a good learning process, wasn’t it ? 

“Sorry.”

She told you, and what else was there to do, but to take her into your arms ? 

DUKE

“I hate you..”

Duke whispers, and although you know he doesn’t mean it, your heart still squeeze in that very uncomfortable way...

But you understood. You understood. 

You and Bruce just signed official papers to make him your son, as his parents weren’t getting any better, and it was clearer and clearer they would never heal from what the Joker did to them. 

But Duke still had hope. He still thought they could be saved. And he held onto that hope, even as he slowly settled in his life at Wayne Manor. Even as, despite himself, he slowly started to see you and Bruce as his second parents. 

And here you were, sighing adoption papers, making it official that his parents would never be the same ever again. 

To him, you were representing his shattered hopes. He had truly lost his parents...

Of course, he would “hate” you in that moment. Of course. But by then, you were used to your children not being well, and lashing out their negative feelings at you. So you start by saying : 

"There is a lot going in your life and I can understand how sometimes you just want nothing to do with any of it, and that-”

“DON’T ACT AS IF YOU UNDERSTAND !” 

He does not let you finish, and his whispers turn into screams. He feels so angry, so lost, so desperate. His last hope of having his parents again is gone, and you’re trying to comfort him ?? 

Proof that, even after decades of being a parent, you don’t always have the right words, or you don’t always do the right thing to soothe your child. 

You take a step back, a deep breath, and-

You don’t say anything. This wasn’t the “I hate you” screamed because you told him “no” about something. This was the “I hate you” born from utter desperation and sadness. He still didn’t mean it. But he needed to say it. 

So you let him. 

You feel Bruce’s hand on your back, as per usual, your husband is always near for you. You’re stronger, together. He’s your rock, you’re his pillar. 

Together, you can face this. You can go through it because you know you have support. You know he’s going to be there for you, and you for him. It makes things so much easier, to know there’s at least one constant in your life...

You don’t say anything, and you let Duke tell you a few more times that he hates you. You let him leave the court, and run off on his own. You’re worried, of course, but you know-

You know he needs the time alone. You know he needs to process things, alone. You know he’ll come back to you, once he’ll feel ready. 

And so for now, you and Bruce wait. His arms around you, yours holding him. Comforting each other with your mere presence. His fingers massaging your scalp, your hands running soothing circles on his back. 

You’re not alone for this. You’re parents, together. And you’ll figure that out, together. Worst things come to worst...There’s always Alfred, to run to for advices, right ? 

But you got this. You got it. 

And Duke does too. Right now, he needs to be angry. But he’ll come around. And he’ll realize that truly...He’s not actually alone in this. 

_________________________________________________

A short bonus story, as I only managed to write this today (feeling a bit under the weather). I hope you liked it nonetheless ! As per usual, comments/reblogs always greatly appreciated, motivating, and welcomed <3. Thank you in advance, and see you soon with a longer, more fleshed out story.  

#Batmom #Bruce Wayne x reader #Batman x reader #Richard Grayson x reader #Nightwing x reader #Batfam x reader #Batfam #Batfamily #Batmom x batkids #Jason Todd x reader #Red Hood x reader #Damian Wayne x reader #Robin x reader #Tim Drake x reader #Cass Cain x reader #Batgirl x reader #Red Robin x reader #Duke Thomas x reader #Signal x reader #Batfamily x reader #Batman imagine #Batfam imagine #Bruce Wayne imagine #Jason Todd imagine #Batmom imagine #Richard Grayson imagine #Damian Wayne imagine #Tim Drake imagine #fem!reader

[harlowtales]

Paparazzi knew puppy’s name and Y/N was left to her own devices 😤 🐶

18+ Only - Adult themes, Language

“Hey baby” Jack said calling early on FaceTime. It was early morning where he was on tour in New Zealand.

“You look so sexy and groggy.” You said admiring how gorgeous your husband always looks. He took off his bonnet and shook out his curls causing your heart to flutter.

“Stop looking at me like that Y/N that’s how we got Ella.” Jack said cautioning you. You had a little boy from a previous relationship and Jack accepted him fully as his own. “Where’s my little muffin and my boy?”

“Well Jax is at school and Ella is right here. She just finished nursing.” You said happily and showed Jack baby Ella half passing out, and smiling at the breast.

“Funny how our happy place is the same.” Jack said wistfully happy to get a peak at your boob.

“You’re so silly!” You giggled. “I miss you so much”

“I miss you guys like crazy but some people don’t want to pull their kids out of school to go on a world tour.” Jack said with an eye roll and still feeling a way about you making that decision.

“Stability Jackman. It’s all about stability.” You said taking a stretch. “I better get moving. I’m meeting Azura for a walk.”

Just then Lil puppy Lou Lou came bounding up and licked you in the face. Jack was thrilled to see her. She woke up Ella drifting off but she was happy anyway. Ella was always happy unless she was tired and then she’d fuss and rub her head of chestnut curls. She rarely fully cried and was almost sleeping through the night.

“Aight my baby tell Jax I love him and don’t worry about his math test ok. I’ll call y’all later. Your husband said. He made a naughty gesture just before he signed off.

“Jackman! I swear!” You yelled to a blank screen as he vanished. “Daddy looks too good Imma have to be careful before I have 10 y’all” you said to Ella who looked like she was gearing up to go out for a walk.

You took a quick shower and slipped into your favourite hoodie of Jack’s, some yoga pants, and your one of many pairs of New Balances. Today it was Carolina blue 550s because you were missing your man bad. You slipped Ella’s wiggly chubby legs into a New Balance jumper and got the leash on Lou Lou.

“Hey girl!!” You said excitedly to Urban’s girlfriend Azura. Little man is getting big!” You said ruffling their son Liam’s hair.

“Yes he is girl and getting like his daddy wanting to take pictures of everything. We got him a toy camera and he carries it around his neck everywhere like Urb.” Azura said looking down lovingly at 4 year old Liam.

Liam wandered a bit away as you chatted with Azura. Suddenly you heard him talking a few feet away to a lady who was asking questions about his toy.

“Hey there little guy I like your camera” She said with a smile and had a cute dog with her that Liam petted. Azura was watching and everything seemed fine. Liam loved dogs and nothing seemed wrong. It was a beautiful sunny day and lots of people were out walking with dogs.

“Liam be gentle with the puppy ok?” Azura cautioned as he politely asked to pick it up and the owner agreed.

“It’s fine.” The lady said “Hey, you’re Jack Harlow’s fiancée….Y/N isn’t it? And Baby Ella so adorable with puppy Lou Lou. Nice to see you enjoying this beautiful day.”

Both you and Azura froze with a bad feeling. They had been following you and poor little Liam walked right into the trap because the lady had a dog and seemed nice.

“Liam hunny put the doggy down we have to go.” Azura said sternly and cautiously.

“I’m not answering any of your questions.” You said firmly to the paparazzi and turned to leave.

“Well I bet the world will like to see how rude one of the hottest stars’s fiancee is.” They said taunting you.

Azura made a sudden move to jump on the lady and caused a scene. Urban wasn’t under as much scrutiny as Jack so him and his family didn’t have to go through people following them. Jack had trained you how to be in public and around the media. You leaped in front of Azura to prevent her doing anything foolish.

“Well one of you has some sense! I would sue you!” The lady spat back.

“….and we would sue yo ass right back bitch!” Azura clapped back

While the back and forth with the sneaky paparazzi and Azura was going on you had discreetly emergency dialled Andy an “sos” message. It was something Jack had set up for your safety. Andy’s secretary sent police to your location. You stalled the lady until they got there. Let me tell you something.” You said calmly to the lady maintaining your composure “Tell all your slimy fellow bottom feeders that make a living off of this that me and my family, including my husband are not taking any shit and WE will be suing YOU.”

Everyone in town knew who you were but only a small circle knew the puppy’s name. Someone must have told someone else and that someone else was paid off. A small crowd had gathered which made it difficult for the lady to take off running. Police were carefully approaching so as not to provoke her to flee. You saw them coming. You and Azura kept her talking with Azura continuing to intimidate her which she was much better at than you.

“Listen bitch, you don’t get to talk to people’s kids like that with your rented dog and pretend you’re friendly. That’s like attempted kidnapping.” Azura said angrily holding onto Liam who was scared.”

“Get over yourself lady. Nobody even knows who you are.” The paparazzi argued with Azura.

“They know me on twitch bitch!” Azura shot back as she was one of the biggest gamers.

Police were behind her without her knowing and heard the whole conversation.

“Look behind you.” You said smugly to her. She turned and realized she was under arrest.

“I didn’t try to kidnap no kid!!!” The lady paparazzi yelled. “I’m just doing my job!! Let go of me!” She said as police cuffed her and walked her away.

The call you were dreading coming in started lighting up your screen with your husband’s picture. You hesitated to answer. “Y/N dafuq is going on? Are y’all ok?” He said right away with Urban right beside him. “They knew pup’s name?”

“Azura? Liam? Daddy’s right here!” Urban shouted concerned and on the verge of tears.

“Bro call your chick on her phone.” Jack said to him annoyed.

“Jack we are fine see? Wave to daddy Ella, wave pups.” You said as cheerfully as possible and Azura waved too as Urban called her.

“Jack it’s all good we’re fine.” You said calmly not wanting him to know how you were really feeling.

“Nice try Y/N. I invented that whole never show people how you’re screaming inside type shit.” Jack said catching you in the act of trying to appear unbothered. I need Ella where is she?” He asked trying to see into the stroller. “Y/N why are you not holding her close right now with wackos on the loose and why are y’all still out?? Go back home please, and call when you get in.” Said Jack cooing with Ella and being strict with you. “Now Y/N”.

“Ok ok we’re headed back in.” You said irritated your one day out in a while turned into this.

“Listen I’ll have one of boys pick y’all up and take you to my parents. My mom is losing her mind right now. Ella and Lou Lou can play in the back yard.” Jack said in full dad mode. “Go pick up Jax first ok? You need to tell him before he finds out and make sure he’s not scared.”

All you wanted to do was go for a walk. Being Mrs. Harlow was not going to be easy. You didn’t like how firm Jack was with you and felt like he thought you weren’t being responsible enough. You hated when he got like this. “Oh and I love you too.” You said sarcastically. “Bye Jack.”

“Wait..I’m..I’m sorry baby. If you were hurt, if Ella…I can’t…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bark at you. I just…” He paused and was holding back tears. “I love you ok?” He finally finished looking away and trying to keep it together.

“Jack I’m sorry. I snapped at you.” You apologized. You knew he loved you.

“Please get little man, take Azura and Liam home, and sleep at my parents house tonight. Please Y/N.” Jack begged. Seeing him soften up made you feel warm inside.

“Ok baby whatever you need for peace of mind but I’m fine. Really.” You said.

“Yeah she not a little bitch like you!” Urban said getting off the phone with Azura and his son.

“Will you two get off my phone!” You giggled.

@itsyagirljaz @okaaay-mice @ride4harlow

#jack harlow #fanfic #romance #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow fanfic #dramatic #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x reader #Spotify

[hedghost]

alessia russo | white lies

five secrets alessia could keep (and one she just couldn’t)

first-time post from a long-time lurker. i absolutely did not intend it to be this long, so i apologise, but i wanted to do the idea justice! feel free to give me thoughts or requests :)

word count: 6.6k

one

famously, alessia could have her blonde moments. the occasional blank stare when she missed the tail end of a question, a furrowed brow as the punchline of a joke flew over her head.

honestly it didn’t bother her; so what if people thought she was slow? she knew her own intelligence. certainly, on the pitch, it was evident that she wasn’t stupid. she could be funny, she knew things, she spoke well, and she always made sure to think before she spoke. although that was less about seeming measured, and more because, if there was one thing alessia did know, it was the value of a secret.

after a few years in the spotlight, alessia had learned the hard way that there were certain things that were just better left under wraps. some things the media or the fans shouldn’t know, and some things best kept between friends. she kept a long mental list of secrets for different people, collecting them, and keeping them clutched to her chest. alessia took a small pride in knowing she was the one people went to, the one person they could trust with their darkest secrets.

alessia mused over her list as she drove to the stadium before the next match. mentally laying each secret out in front of her like a prized collection, dusting them off, and storing them back inside. the first she knew would be brought up again today, knew it would take her usual efforts to make sure it remained a secret.

walking into the changing room, alessia only narrowly dodged a flying shinpad that went clattering into the doorframe. alessia’s quick reactions only really served to cause her to lose her footing, just to be caught by your steady hands.

“oops, sorry less! i was aiming for tooney,” you smiled sheepishly, your hands still firm around her waist. alessia swallowed.

“idiots,” she laughed. you let go and stalked over to grab the wayward shinpad. this time, your throw found it’s mark, hitting ella squarely in the forehead and causing the changing room to erupt into laughter.

this was no real deviation from the team’s usual pregame ritual. typically, you and ella, ever the jokers, would engage in some play-fight of slapstick-esque proportions, entertaining the team while they all got ready. this of course meant you two then had to scramble to get changed as the rest of the girls walked out onto the pitch. alessia, who was never really found without at least one of her two best friends, would wait behind with you as you tied your boots.

you always had a lot of nervous energy before games, and ella’s constant faffing and time wasting as she collected her boots, tied her hair up for the billionth time, checked her mascara etc., would, without fail, mean you’d end up leaving the two of them behind, only for them to jog out and join you with seconds. this was the ritual, and alessia liked it.

“fucking hell, ella stop fannying about!” you whined.

ella, as always, was the last to put her boots on. she was combing back flyaways in the mirror, in just her socks. you and alessia watched on, fully kitted out by now. alessia leant back against the door and smiled as she watched you try to hurry ella on. she'd been through this many times before.

alessia knew the routine. she knew you would leave in a second, and she knew ella would stop dithering immediately after you did. and then, as always, she would tie ella’s bootlaces for her, and they would catch you up.

this was the big secret. alessia, to be honest, didn’t see the big deal, but ella was insistent that no one could ever find out, not even you. and as silly as alessia thought it was, and as much as she hated not telling you things, this was her duty as secret keeper and she did it diligently.

it had started years ago, long before you had arrived and turned the duo into a trio. ella had been in a state before an away match, refusing to tell anyone what had her fretting so much. alessia had taken her to the side, and it had slipped out; she didn’t know how to tie her own laces. her dad had always been at games, always tied them tight as a last good luck measure. in a flash, alessia had knelt at ella’s feet, tying the boots without saying a word. then she’d taken ella’s hand, and pretended not to see her swipe at tears as they walked onto the pitch together.

ella had found her before the next game, shyly asking her to repeat the action. alessia had done it without question, and just like that, it became their thing.

alessia had tried, of course, countless times to teach ella how to do it herself, but she suspected at some point it had become more superstition that anything. alessia had tied ella's boots once, and she’d played well, so now alessia would tie her boots forever. even now that many players preferred to play with laceless boots, ella never wavered. she said she just preferred the look, but alessia (and only alessia) knew the truth.

alessia watched on as you got increasingly impatient with ella. she smirked as you rolled your eyes once again.

"come on ella, if we leave now you might be in time for the second half,"

alessia had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. you were cute when you were frustrated. ella ignored you, still checking her reflection in the mirror, completely unfazed.

as annoying as ella was being, you felt bad that alessia was always the one to stay and deal with ella's antics. you were determined to remain, if only to give alessia moral support. little did you know that meant it was you who was holding up proceedings.

alessia, however, had been through this many times before and was practiced in the art of secret-keeping, and therefore distraction. she had a few tactics up her sleeve yet.

she looked over to where you leant against the doorframe, and flashed you her sweetest smile.

"y/n? i think i left my gatorade in the shower room, could you go grab it for me?"

as always, those eyes made you putty in her hands, and you pushed yourself off from the wall to go and look. as soon as you turned your back, alessia was knelt at ella's feet, her nimble fingers moving with practiced ease as they followed the path they'd traced countless times before. she was standing again by the time you returned.

"there's no gatorade in there less, are you sure its not in here?"

she flashed you a sheepish smile, putting on her best ditzy blonde impression, "oops, its right here! sorry y/n,"

you shrugged in response. before you could tell her not to worry, ella cut you off. she had moved to walk out the door, yelling over her shoulder as she did so,

"come on, what are you waiting for?"

you watched after her in exasperated incredulity as she exited the room. alessia laughed brightly at your expression, slinging her arm around your shoulder and dragging you out to the field with her. ella's secret was safe for another day.

two

you and alessia settled in next to each other as you took your seats on the plane for the lionesses' next away game. the two of you had been thick as thieves for years, and you couldn’t deny that the thought of having alessia nearby had been a deciding factor in your recent transfer move. still, you treasured each quiet moment you spent in each other's company, as you had for years.

you and alessia hadn’t always been close. you’d known each other through the youth age groups of course, but your relationship only really went from acquaintances to close friends around the age of sixteen. sure, you loved your teammates and got on well with all of them, but you were a fairly shy teenager, keeping them at all at arms length, and often finding yourself only hanging around the edge of conversations.

alessia was a nostalgic person, and liked to reminisce often about the circumstances that had led to your close relationship.

when you were younger, seeing as how you typically kept to yourself, it was usually easy for you to sink into the background. although sometimes this was a point of insecurity, you relished the chance for solitude whenever it came to flights. you’d always been a particularly anxious flyer, and you appreciated that you could usually nab a seat at the back to yourself, allowing you to hide your panic.

usually you got away with it. usually, you could find a pair of seats to yourself, deal with the panic quietly and alone, saving yourself from embarrassment.

of course, at some point, your luck ran out.

“hey! mind if i sit here?” came a familiar voice. you looked up in surprise, but you knew whose bright blue eyes would be looking down at you well before your gaze found them. alessia gave you little time to respond before settling herself into the seat next to you with a sweet smile. you had no time to concoct some lame excuse. you could only nod, and accept your fate.

of course it was her. of course, out of anyone, it was the person who would be the sweetest about it, the most understanding. how embarrassing.

alessia didn’t seem to notice your internal panic, instead sweeping you up immediately into conversation. and for a while, it worked to distract you. you barely noticed take off, didn’t even flinch as your stomach dropped and ears popped, too enraptured in alessia’s bright conversation.

that is, until the first bout of turbulence. the plane rocked, and you stopped mid-sentence. mentally gathering yourself, you tried to calm down, managing to carry on as though nothing had happened. alessia didn’t seem to notice your plight. you’d got away with it. then the plane dropped again.

this time, alessia was quick to notice the way your breath caught, the way your arms held tight to the arm rests, the white knuckle grip you had on them. you vaguely heard her say something, but you couldn’t focus on her voice enough to comprehend. all you could do was try to regulate your breathing, stave off the panic long enough to preserve your dignity.

a gentle touch on your arm brought you back to reality, “y/n? are you okay?”

you tried to speak, to respond, but you couldn’t muster the words. you shut your eyes tight, trying to turn away from alessia.

“hey, hey,” she soothed, her hand over yours, “it’s okay, we’re safe, everything’s okay,”

you wanted to pretend it was all fine, but you were too far gone. you buried your head in your hands, tried to focus on alessia whispering to you to ‘breathe, just breathe’.

you don’t know how long you sat like that, her guiding you through blind panic with soft touches and gentle words. at some point, your hand found hers, and you clutched it like a lifeline as the plane rode out its last bits of turbulence.

eventually, your breathing returned to relative normal. you hesitated to look up and meet alessia’s eyes, instead burning holes into your clasped hands. you noted her perfectly done manicure, how the light caught each painted nail, how the soft skin of her fingertips felt caressing your calloused palms.

“you okay y/n?”

finally you tore your gaze away from her hands, only to be met with her eyes. you’d never noticed how strikingly blue they were. you nodded, swallowing harshly. you were sure she’d be able to feel your pulse rising in your joined hands, praying she’d chalk it up to your panicked episode, not something completely different.

“not a big fan of flying then?” she prompted.

“no, not exactly,” you laughed, mouth dry. as much as you hated to admit it, alessia’s presence had definitely calmed you. you were barely conscious of the fact you were still thousands of feet in the air.

“that’s okay, i’ll distract you,” you hoped you weren’t blushing . if only she knew, you thought, but alessia had already plowed on, chatting about god knows what to distract you.

she kept it up until you landed. as she stood up to exit the plane, she squeezed your hand and offered a small smile. she went to pull away, but you pulled her hand back,

“could you please not tell anyone about this?”

“course not,” she smiled “our secret.”

then she’d strolled off the plane as though she hadn’t just changed the course of your life.

from then on, alessia always managed to slip away from her other friends and wind up in the seat next to you. it had become a steady constant in your routines. you'd never had a bad flight since, and true to her word, alessia had never told a soul.

three

the perks of england camps were numerous. from the training, to the facilities, the matches, even the food, alessia enjoyed it all. arguably the best thing of all though, was the ample opportunities for downtime with the team.

alessia was nestled in between you and maya on a sofa, only half listening to leah and keira regale some embarrassing tale about georgia, involving a bad date and what sounded like a lot of alcohol. georgia was burying her head in her hands as the rest of the team dissolved into fits of giggles at the story. alessia laughed along, dropping her head to your shoulder as the conversation moved onto other player's poor tastes in partners and shitty date experiences.

"okay wait! lets all go around the circle and say our most embarrassing crushes!" alessia felt your shoulder stiffen underneath her at beth's suggestion, and she knew exactly why.

alessia herself had only found out by accident, stumbling in on you crying out the aftermath in the bathroom. she'd held you as you calmed down, before you made her swear not tell anyone.

the night had started out well enough. you both were at an 18th birthday party for one of your england teammates. you'd joked around with all the other girls, dancing and singing, and drinking probably a little too much. the alcohol would end up being a bad idea, especially for you.

the girl who's birthday it was had an older sister in her early twenties. aged 17 and a bit, you were absolutely infatuated with her. you'd met her a few times before at games and training, she was cool and collected, and you were obsessed. the fact she would be in attendance at the party had definitely been a factor in your outfit choices, and probably in the amount of alcohol you had downed with alessia and ella at pres.

the whole night long, you were hyper aware of her presence in the room. too shy to ever make a move, you stuck to longing glances and daydreamed fantasies.

your downfall was soon to come though, when one of the older girls suggested an innocent game of spin the bottle. most of you were well past tipsy at this point, and so you all agreed readily. you laughed as your teammates kissed each other one by one; the messy, inexperienced kind of kisses only drunk teenagers could perfect. soon enough it was your friend's sister's turn, and you couldn't help the prayers you mentally uttered.

you would decide later that whoever answered those prayers had a sick sense of humour. the bottle landed on you. you leant forward, trying to contain your excitement. it was only a peck, but to you it was fate and poetry rolled into one. the game continued on, but all you could think about was the feel of her lips against yours. soon, the game faded into non-existence, as people began to get distracted and get up to refill drinks or amuse themselves elsewhere. you saw your crush slip out into the garden, and instilled with misplaced confidence from the peck, you saw your opening.

stepping into the cool air, you were relieved to see she was alone. you approached, placing a shaking hand onto her arm.

"oh hey-" you cut her off, pressing your lips against hers. it barely lasted a moment, before she pushed you off, nothing short of disgust on her face.

"woah there! i'm not a fucking lesbian!" she turned on her heel and stalked back inside, only stopping to utter one last crushing remark, "and i don't kiss kids!"

to your teenage self, it was an earth-shattering rejection. you managed to make it to an empty bathroom before you broke down. your ears rang with her comments as your cursed your own stupidity. in your rush to be alone, you'd forgotten to lock the door, and you jumped when gentle hands wrapped you up into a hug.

alessia had been watching you all night. she'd seen the glances you cast over at your friend's sister, before she lost sight of you after the ill-fated game. that was until she saw you duck into a bathroom, cheeks red and head bowed. she'd followed in a heartbeat.

alessia's heart ached for you as you sobbed into her shoulder. the sting of rejection had worn off, leaving space only for pure embarrassment.

"i'm such a fucking idiot," you mumbled into her shoulder when the tears had stopped.

alessia pressed her lips to your hair, "no you aren't, don't be silly," she knew the pain of unrequited crushes all too well. she knew the way they consumed you, blinded you to sense. "shh, it'll be okay," she murmured, "don't cry, its okay,"

"oh god, i bet she's already told everyone how weird and gross i am. i can never show my face again,"

alessia laughed at your dramatics, "shall we go home?" she said, and you nodded wearily, "let's go,"

as it turned out, the girl hadn't told anyone, and you'd been in the clear. the secret stayed between you and alessia, the single witness to your most embarrassing night.

alessia knew you didn't want anyone to know about that, even now, six years later. she also knew you well enough to know that instead of coming up with an alternate answer to beth's question, you were likely frozen, reliving your embarrassment. she had to think fast to preserve your secret. everyone laughed as rach shamelessly announced her childhood crush on some celebrity she'd never heard of, and then everyone turned to you expectantly. alessia cleared her throat.

"pretty sure y/n used to fancy that woman off countdown," she lied, and the room erupted into laughter once again. thankful for lessi's quick save, you groaned and buried your head in your hands, going along with her white lie. crisis averted. alessia carried on, giving her own fake answer about a boy from school. a practiced lie. once the group's attention had passed on from the two of you, she felt you grab her hand. you squeezed her fingers in thanks, and she squeezed back. she was getting good at this lying business. anything for you, and your secrets.

four

alessia was widely regarded as an excellent friend; someone who could be depended on, completely and utterly trusted without question. alessia knew this, and held such compliments with high regard. she had long ago cemented her place as someone to be trusted within her circle, and therefore concentrated her efforts in keeping that reputation. she knew her friends just thought she was a good secret keeper because it was in her nature, that she was just a good person through and through.

alessia herself knew however, that the reason she placed such strong value on other people’s secrets was because she had been keeping one of her own for far, far longer than she had kept any of theirs.

it had first become apparent as a teenager. as she listened to her friends fawn over their latest male obsession, or regale their recent kisses with boys at parties, or debate who the hottest boy in class was. she tried her best to engage, to get involved, but with every boy who came close to kissing her, she was finding it harder and harder to force interest. eventually, she came to realise the way she felt about certain teammates, the way she'd avert her eyes in the changing room, the way her gaze followed pretty girls in the hallway, wasn't the norm. the realisation had hit her like a truck. alessia russo was gay, and she had no clue what to do about it.

she kept the feelings buried for a while. she faked attachments to boys, tried kissing a few just to throw her friends off the scent, before eventually she stopped bothering. she said she was too busy with football to date, and that remained her excuse. that didn't stop her falling head over heels for multiple girls over the years, didn't stop her heart fluttering whenever certain people looked her way. a certain someone.

eventually, especially playing women's football, a lot of her friends started to come out. alessia knew she could've done the same, knew she'd be met with no judgement, but it was as though there was a mental block stopping her. as outgoing as she was, she didn't enjoy opening herself up. and so, never one to wear her heart on her sleeve, she guarded the secret closely. months turned into years, and it became just something she did. she was too far gone to announce it now.

she knew she'd tell people at some point in her life, but why bother when there was no girl on her arm to show off?

and it wasn't like she hadn't come close. especially to you, who had been open about your sexuality for years. alessia couldn't count how many times she'd opened her mouth to tell you, only for the words to catch in her throat. it was almost as though she'd left it too late now, built it up in her head, and the moment just never seemed right.

she'd been with girls before of course. in dark corners at clubs where no one would see, fumbled kisses with strangers in bathrooms. but never anything deep, never the connection she ached for.

alessia listened as you complained to her about your recent date with the latest girl. 'a complete dead end', you described it, 'like talking to a brick wall,' you laid your head across her lap and shut your eyes.

"god, i wish the girls i dated were more like you less. then i'd actually have something to talk about with them," alessia swallowed, her fingers working their way through your hair. god, if only you knew.

five

being gay wasn't the only secret alessia held close to her chest. there was another, far worse, far more guarded. the secret that kept her awake at night, that spiked guilt deep in her stomach whenever you smiled at her. painful memories of that fateful night, which she wished more than anything you would remember.

it happened at the celebration party last summer. the lionesses had been victorious at the euros, and euphoria was running rampant amongst the whole team. everywhere you looked, people were drunk off elation. the drinks had started flowing in the changing rooms, and they had kept coming ever since.

the constant flow of people meant you and alessia had only spent passing moments together. every time you seemed to find each other in the crowd, someone new would turn up and pull one of you away, with ecstatic congratulations, or the promise of a drink.

in a brief break from dancing, alessia found herself sat at the bar with ella and a few others. she sipped her drink as the others chatted excitedly. recently, she'd been finding that her eyes sought you out unconsciously. more and more, she'd been realising that wherever you were in a room, she'd notice. tonight was no different. her gaze finally landed on you, carefree and dancing amongst a crowd of people.

usually, she had the sense to not stare for too long, but with her inhibitions hindered by the drinks, and her mood high off the back of the win, she allowed herself a moment of grace. the soft smile that crept onto her face as she looked longingly after you was unbidden, but she didn't care to look away. alessia was sure that if anyone followed her eyeline she'd be found out, but everyone was too wrapped up in their own elation to bother.

across the crowd, your eyes met hers. you grinned widely, before freeing yourself from the crowd just long enough to grab her hand and pull her onto the dance floor. emboldened by the alcohol, she let herself dance a little closer than she usually would, let the touches linger a little longer.

neither of you knew how long you danced, just riding the wave of the win for as long you could. alessia could tell you were equally as drunk as she was, if not more. eventually, you leaned closer to be heard over the music,

"come with me to get some air?" alessia could only nod, hyper aware of your breath on her cheek. she let herself be led away by you, into the cool summer air.

you all but collapsed onto a bench, laughing as you clumsily pulled alessia down with you. you leant into alessia, her arm finding its familiar place around your shoulders as you let the comfortable silence descend. it was the early hours of the morning by now. alessia could hear the thump of music and shouts of people from inside, but out here, you were completely alone. despite her lack of sobriety, she was hyper aware of the way your body felt against hers.

"what a night hey," you laughed, and she nodded. "we fucking did it less!"

"champions of europe baby!" you yelled into the night, making alessia laugh and slap your arm.

you smiled, leaning back into alessia, "proud of you lessi" you whispered. when she didn't respond, you shifted to look at her.

"i'm serious less. i'm so proud of you. proud of us."

alessia couldn't find the words to respond. she could only think about how close your face was to hers. you smiled softly, and she smiled back. her eyes never left yours. you seemed to be breathing in sync. it was now or never. the alcohol spurring her on, alessia began to speak,

"y/n, i-"

she was cut off by you leaning in to close the gap. her eyes fluttered shut as your lips grazed hers, and she melted into the kiss. you pulled back to assess her reaction, but alessia barely gave you a second to breathe before she kissed you again. alessia poured all the years of pining, every pent up emotion into that kiss, and you gave her everything and more back. her brain short-circuited as your hand went to caress her cheek, her own hands fumbling clumsily to wrap around your waist.

at some point, one of you broke away. you pressed your forehead to hers, "we should probably get back to the party," alessia nodded. she was caught in a haze of euphoria. she would've done anything you asked in that moment; would've chased you to the moon and back. you smiled, before pressing your lips to her forehead and pulling her to her feet.

alessia would've liked to stay attached to your hip all night, but as soon as you re-entered the party you were both swept away by your respective friends, and she was left staring after you. the rest of the night was a blur, but alessia had truly never been happier.

alessia woke the next morning to the memory of your lips against hers. her head pounded with the hangover as she dragged herself out of bed and over to your room next door. it was customary for the two of you to end up in each others rooms after a heavy night to discuss the events and ride out the hangover together, but today, her heart pounded as she knocked on your door. she wasn't sure what the events of last night meant for your friendship, but she was running through various speeches and declarations as she waited.

eventually you cracked the door open, peering out at alessia with bleary eyes. "morning," you whispered with a smile, opening the door fully for alessia before collapsing back into your bed.

alessia followed you in, mouth dry and heart pounding as she perched next to you on the bed. she decided to let you take the lead with the conversation, though she ached to bring up the kiss.

"god, what even happened last night," you moaned from the covers, "i don't remember a thing,"

alessia's heart dropped to her stomach. "you don't remember anything?" she asked. you looked up at her curiously.

"i mean, i remember dancing, and then, literally nothing," your eyes widened, "oh god, did i do something embarrassing? lessi, please say i didn't."

alessia forced a smile onto her face, forced herself to push down the emotions coursing through her veins, "no, you didn't do anything," she forced herself to settle further into your bed.

"nothing at all,"

plus one she couldn't

after the euros, and the ensuing heartache, alessia had tried to distance herself from you. she'd lasted all of a week of subdued contact before you'd pulled her back in again. she couldn't resist you or your company, utterly powerless to do anything but come running back to your side like a lost puppy. you didn't even have time to notice something was up.

and so alessia settled back into your orbit, and tried unsuccessfully to get over you. despite how you'd acted that night, you once again gave her no indication of seeing her as anything more than a best friend, and so she tried her best to see you the same. she longed to bring up the kiss, to do anything to remind you, but your clear lack of memory told her that it hadn't meant anything to you.

playing together for club and country, you spent nearly all your days together. alessia spent each of those days in silent turmoil. her heart would pound with each innocent touch, her brain would malfunction every time you flashed her a smile. only at night, in the quiet of her room, would she allow herself to feel. she'd stare at the ceiling into the early hours of the morning, replaying each encounter, eyes glistening with unshed tears. she envied you for not remembering the kiss. god how she wished she could forget it. it replayed behind her eyelids every time she blinked: she felt the brush of your lips against hers every time she glanced down at your mouth as you spoke.

since it became apparent that it couldn't have meant anything to you, she'd done her best to get over you. but now that she'd experienced it, she could never go back. her love for you had swelled to the point of utter consumption, and she couldn't even begin to remember what it felt like to see you only as a friend.

being as experienced in the art of secret keeping as she was, she'd managed to keep you in the dark, but it was getting harder and harder to act like everything was okay. whilst you remained clueless to her plight, other people were starting to notice.

alessia was finally caught out after a particularly bad day. training had been rough, the weather was awful, and the stress and emotion of it all was starting to become too much for her. her heart ached for you every time you laughed. every time you called her name it was like a stab to the chest. she winced as she felt the beginnings of a headache, desperate to leave the training ground and crawl into bed as soon as she could.

noticing something was wrong, you'd rubbed her back and pulled her in for a hug.

"you okay less? headache?" you'd murmured, trying to meet her eyes. normally she revelled in how well you could read her, but right now, she hated it. she could only nod in response. you reached a gentle hand up to touch her forehead, "are you coming down with something?"

alessia wanted so badly to relax into your familiar embrace and sink into the comfort she craved, but she pulled away, ignoring your question and mumbling a lame excuse about getting home, before speeding to her car.

hearing someone chase after her, she steeled herself to face you again. instead, when she turned, she was met with ella.

"lessi, what's wrong?"

"nothing, ella, it's just been a long day," she sighed. she turned to get into her car, but ella blocked her path.

"don't bullshit me lessi, i know you. you think i haven't noticed how weird you've been acting lately?"

the confrontation was too much. alessia could feel tears begin to prick at the corner of her eyes, and she knew there was no escaping it.

"not here," she mumbled, opening the car door and motioning ella to get into the other side. she barely gave ella time to sit down before she drove off, only making it to the end of the road before the tears started flowing. she pulled over and buried her head in her hands.

ella didn't seem to know what to do, clearly she hadn't expected alessia to do this. her shock was only momentary though, and her hand reached out to stroke alessia's back.

"hey, hey, its okay, less, its okay. talk to me,"

alessia could only shake her head against her hands.

"i can't do this anymore ella, i just can't,"

ella just rubbed her arm, clueless to what she was talking about. in ella's presence, she let her facade fall apart a little.

"it's so stupid, i'm so stupid."

"is this about y/n?"

alessia whipped her head up to look at ella, who smiled wryly.

"you aren't very good at hiding it less,"

"fuck, i just-" she pressed her head into her hands again. "it's so embarrassing. i just don't know what to do. i can't keep doing this, it just- it hurts,"

"i think you need to tell her,"

"that's the worst possible solution to this ella,"

ella smiled again and raised an eyebrow, "i wouldn't be so sure,"

"you're an idiot, and your advice is awful," alessia muttered. she breathed deeply, collecting herself, before starting the car again, "i'm dropping you home, and we're forgetting this conversation ever happened,"

"whatever you say, less," said ella, smirking as she leant back in her seat, "whatever you say,"

despite her best efforts, the conversation with ella stuck in alessia's mind all week. even you were starting to notice how distracted she was being, and you brought it up one night, as you lay sprawled in your usual position on her sofa.

"have you been avoiding me lessi?" you joked, but alessia caught the flash of doubt in your eyes. she mentally cursed herself, once for not hiding it well enough, and then again for making you feel guilty about it. she decided she could only attempt to laugh it off.

"what are you talking about? we've literally been together all day."

"no, yeah i know, but you just seem, i don't know, distracted? closed off," alessia felt your head turn to look up at her, but she kept her own gaze firmly planted on the tv screen.

"i'm fine. just tired. its been a long week," she knew as soon as she said it that you'd see right through the flimsy excuses.

"well okay, but, you know you can always talk to me, yeah? if there was something bothering you?" your voice trailed off. alessia swallowed harshly. when she spoke, her voice was barely a whisper.

"i can't,"

at this, your full attention was on her, the tv long forgotten. alessia felt sick at her own barely there confession.

"lessi, come on. you can tell me anything. i'm your best friend,"

that was the last straw. best friend, she reminded herself. any hope alessia still had of preserving her dignity flew out the window, and she had to press her lips together to keep from crumbling. you saw her falter, and you sat up in a heartbeat, your hands taking hers. alessia tried to pull away, but the grip you had on her was magnetic.

"y/n, i-" she bit her lip, shaking her head and looking away. if she spoke she'd say something she'd regret. the confession was on the tip of her tongue, just begging to be let out. alessia resolved herself, mentally replaced the confession with another white lie. but then she looked up, and her eyes met yours. god, those eyes. alessia was taken back to the night of the kiss, when she'd been enraptured in those same eyes; when she'd looked into them to find the brazen reflection of her own adoration.

it was all she could do to look away. she felt her mouth move, heard her own voice as though from a distance, speaking completely unbidden.

"i'm in love with you,"

they were the truest words she'd ever uttered, but god how she wished she could take them back. her brain raced with excuses, but she could only whisper disconnected thoughts and jumbled apologies. she regained just enough control over her words, but the damage was done.

"i know you don't feel the same - i'm sorry - i didn't want to make it weird - i'm sorry - please don't let this ruin us - i'm sorry."

alessia didn't dare look at you; your silence was indication enough. however, as always, alessia could never stay away from you for too long. as she braved one glance up, her words fell away from her.

you stared back at her, looking at her as though she'd hung the moon and all the stars.

"alessia," you whispered her name like a prayer on your tongue, "you have no idea how long i've wanted to hear you say that,"

years of pining, of heartache, of sleepless nights and longing glances, had not prepared alessia for this outcome. she stared at you, frozen in shock. all the fight, all the panic, had abandoned her, and she could only stare.

you leaned in, and she let herself fall into the kiss. she'd thought nothing could've been better than the first, but my god was she wrong. with one touch, you silenced all her doubts. you poured out the answer to every question she had. the two of you curled impossibly closer into each other, until alessia wasn't sure how you could've ever been separate.

you smiled against her lips, eyes blissfully remaining shut.

"why didn't you tell me sooner?"

alessia shrugged shyly, "it was a secret," you pulled away fully, eyes searching deep into hers.

"not anymore," you said, and alessia flashed a bright smile. your heart flipped at the sight.

"no," she murmured, "never again."

thanks for reading! hope you enjoyed :)

#alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo imagine #engwnt #woso x reader #woso fanfics #muwfc x reader

[nolita-fairytale]

still into you | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | chapter one: thursday

summary: you, syd, marcus, and carmy return to where it all began: new york city, prompting you and carmy to think a lot about your past... and your future together. (four part series | follow-up to 'make my heart surrender)

warnings: lots of swearing, tooth-rotting fluff, use of she/her pronouns, the lightest of smut, no use of y/n, second person pov

word count: 5k

listen to: 91 - bleachers | now i'm in it - haim | bewitched, bothered, and bewildered - ella fitzgerald (playlist here)

a/n: re: the poll -- yall really said 'let this man be happy please!' and i love that for us. if you voted for the other fic, i want to reassure you that i will be writing that one right after this! please enjoy all of the fluff and joy of this four chapter fic. i also feel like i potentially robbed us of a smut scene so... anyone interested in a bonus smut scene as a companion to this chapter?

Thursday 

“Alright, guys. We only have a few hours to get our day one prep done. I’ve outlined a schedule for today so that we’re as efficient as possible. Tomorrow’s gotta go smooth, alright?” Carmy instructs, laying out the day. 

You listen intently, marveling at your boyfriend in-action. He’s so fearless when he’s in his element, and being back in New York just seems to bring back all the memories of how you met. It’s like you’re twenty seven again, huddling up for a pre-shift meeting, led by recently-promoted wunderkind CDC, Carmen Berzatto. 

Only, you’re not twenty seven anymore and Carmy is the love of your life. 

“I’m gonna start with the mise for our beef dish, so Syd, can you get working on our signature veal stock? I think we should work with one in the pressure cooker just in case we get short on time and have a back up,” Carmy directs, an intense determination filling his eyes. 

He looks from Sydney to Marcus, before continuing his orders. 

“Marcus, I need you to start on the ice cream today, chef. I ordered us some liquid nitrogen if we need to make more on the fly, but I’d really prefer not to.”

And then it’s your turn, and boy, do you love to watch him work. You have to fight the corners of your lips from curling into a broad grin because you know now is not the time. 

“And lastly, I’m gonna have you work on the pasta. My goal is for us to get all of the agnolotti assembled today, so I’ll jump in when I wrap up with my mise to help you with that, yeah?”

“Heard,” the three of you answer in unison. 

Everyone’s got their game faces on because this is a big deal. 

The biggest, actually. 

Representing The Bear at the James Beard House is more than a big deal – it’s an honor. Only a handful of chefs get invited to cook here per year, and after a little fancy footwork in terms of scheduling, the four of you were finally able to agree on a date with the famous organization. You’re more than elated to be a part of the team, even if you aren’t working at The Bear anymore. 

The four of you quickly busy yourselves with setting up your stations. You only have a few hours to accomplish a whole lot of prep, and the pressure sits heavily on each of your shoulders. Tickets to the dinner had sold out within the first hour, which, after all the press, accolades, and media attention the restaurant had earned over the last few years, hadn’t been a huge surprise.

“Think you can keep up, chef? Don’t tell me you’re gettin’ rusty on me,” Marcus quips, already starting the playful trash talking early.

You let out a laugh, before challenging him in jest.

“Damn, Marcus. Hasn’t been that long. Bet I can still kick your ass on a ‘beat the clock’ mise, chef.”

“Oooooh. Shots fired,” Sydney calls out, joining in on your friendly banter.

“Challenge accepted,” Marcus shoots back, almost instantly. 

And then you’re scrambling to get as many prep containers and a kitchen scale, as you race your friend and mentee, all in good fun. 

You’ve missed this. 

It’s only been a few months since you started your new job – a culinary education director at a startup intent on building more sustainable food systems. While your heart would always be at the restaurant, you’d been ready to take on new challenges. The salary pay and benefits didn’t hurt either. You were happy taking a grown-up job, craving a little more stability and normalcy – and so that you and Carmy could stop paying out the ass for health insurance. Besides, you were still working with food. It just looked… well, a lotta different these days. 

You’ve missed the fast pace of the kitchen, your people, and Carmy’s desire for excellence, but it’s not like those things have left your life either. You still have them. 

After you’d left the restaurant, Marcus had taken over as the head pastry chef. In the last few months, you’ve watched him mentor and inspire a new group of wide-eyed, green, chefs-in-the-making, which had made you prouder than you’d ever have the words for. 

You can smell the sharp-allium scent of onions, as Syd quarters them for her stock, and while you have several cartons of eggs and 00 flour, Marcus has gathered all the milk that you’d just purchased for today’s prep.

“Behind,” Carmy says. He passes you by with a few 5 qt storage containers stacked, as he hugs them to his body with one arm. 

You feel his other hand place the gentlest touch on the small of your back as he leans in and whispers in your ear, “It’s good to have you back, chef.” 

You smile, turning your head just enough to lean back to look at him. 

“It’s good to be back, chef.” 

He presses the gentlest, slow kiss to your lips, and it feels like time stops for a moment. As he pulls away from you, there’s a small smirk on his face as Sydney shouts, “Oh get a room, you two!” 

“If we had the time…” he murmurs quietly, planting one more soft peck onto your lips. His face is still only inches away from yours. You giggle in response, the tender moment filling your heart with warmth. 

“Speaking of time… I just bought Marcus a head start,” Carmy teases, your jaw dropping as soon as you realize what he’s doing. 

You pull away from him, your head snapping towards Marcus’ direction to see that he’s already filled a 5 qt container to its capacity with one portion of the milk. 

“Seriously? Damn it, Carmy!” you cry out, shaking your head. “This is sabotage!”

You hear Marcus laugh in the background and as Carmy walks away with a cheeky feeling of accomplishment. You shake your head in disbelief. 

“Sorry, babe. You can deal with a little hazing, yeah? Since you’ve been gone for so long. Gotta give my guy a head start. ‘S only fair.” 

“You’re such a dick,” you scowl, scrambling to catch up. 

Oh it is so on. 

*

By the time you’re done with your day one prep, the four of you head to the hotel. Luckily, it’s only a five minute walk away, and you’re grateful that the James Beard Foundation chose to partner with one so close. The four of you pull your suitcases down the streets of Greenwich Village, before arriving at the luxurious, vintage-inspired hotel. 

You’re eager to get up to your room, as you haven’t had a shower, nor a time to take a break since you all arrived. 

“Woah…” Carmy says, his brilliant blue eyes scanning the high end hotel room. “You sure we can afford this?” 

You chuckle, “I think uh… they have a partnership with the James Beard Foundation, which is the only way I can answer your question with a ‘yes’ without having to tell you that we have to sell an arm, a leg, and our first born.” 

He shoots a half smile in your direction before letting out a whistle as he looks around. The floor to ceiling windows feel way outside of anything you could afford, as Carmy spots the French doors that lead right out onto a terrace. As you continue to explore the rest of the room, you spot a huge tub in the bathroom – something you’re very eager to take advantage of. 

“Power nap?” you ask Carmy, setting down your suitcase in the middle of the room. 

You’ll put your things away later.

“Fuck yeah,” he agrees eagerly.

You’ve barely put your book bag down before you’re both stripping off your jeans and climbing into the perfectly made hotel bed. After spending the morning traveling, you, Sydney, Marcus, and Carmy had gotten off the plane at JFK and gone straight to the James Beard House in Greenwich. Not only had Carmy been antsy to see the kitchen and get a head start on prep, you hadn’t been able to check into your hotel till this afternoon. You’re both spent, and you know that Carmy’s been running himself ragged preparing for this once in a lifetime opportunity. He hasn’t been sleeping all that well either– his thoughts consumed with nailing down the perfect menu, while paralyzed with indecision.

His quest for perfection had made him irritable over the last few days. You could see that the pressure was getting to him. His appetite was down, he was picking fights with you about small, unnecessary things at home, and pushing Sydney (sometimes a little too hard) at the restaurant. 

But today, he seems a little more in control of his feelings, and it puts him a little more at ease now that you’re finally in New York. He knows he’s been driving you crazy all week, and now that you’re all here, he’s hoping he can relax a little. 

Now that you’re here, in the city. 

Now that the dinner is only a day and a half away. 

You’re hoping he’ll slow down at some point too – give himself a little time to enjoy how big of an accomplishment this is. At least by the end of the weekend. Frankly, you’re glad you’ll have Saturday to enjoy the city without any pressure. 

For all of your sakes. 

You’re surprised that Carmy falls asleep with you during your late afternoon nap. He’s been so wired, so high strung lately, but you’ve just been waiting for him to come back down. Now that it seems like he is, there’s no way in hell you’re going to wake him up. You’re curled up together when you wake, your back pressed against his chest, his arms enveloping you. It feels almost impossible to pry yourself out of his arms without waking him up, but his deep slumber confirms your suspicions and you’re more than willing to let him continue sleeping. It takes a few tries to slip out of his embrace, but you do, and it’s off to the bathroom to get ready for dinner.

You try to make as little noise as possible, but by the time you're out of the shower, and your hair has been blown dry, Carmy’s up. You can hear the hotel TV on as you exit the bathroom and see he’s put his jeans back on. He’s perched on the edge of the bed, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. You notice that the dark circles under his eyes that have accumulated over the years seem to sit heavier this week, as his eyes flicker over towards you.

“Damn, my girl’s got style,” he compliments, checking out your all black-ensemble. “We really are back in New York, huh?”

You nod, grinning at his sweet compliment, as you sit down to slip your white sneakers on. 

“You meetin’ up with Liz and Maya tonight?” he asks you. 

“Yeah. Syd’s gonna join for a bit before her thing. She should uh… be here any minute, actually.” You begin tying up the shoelaces of one of your shoes, before slipping the other one on. 

“You sure you don’t want to come?”

“Nah I-, I'll see ‘em tomorrow right? But tell ‘em I say ‘hello’.”

“Of course. I think they’re both really looking forward to seeing you.”

You check the time on your phone making sure you have enough time, before you make your way to where Carmy sits on the edge of the bed. 

“What’re you going to do tonight?” you ask, curiously, stopping so that your body is right in front of his. 

“Well Marcus is staging at per se so… I’ll probably just hang out. Order room service or pick up a sandwich across the street. I wanna run through all this shit so tomorrow goes as well as it can,” Carmy answers, waving his notebook at you. 

He’s like a man possessed, but it’s one of the many reasons you love him. You pull the notebook out of his hands tossing it somewhere on the bed behind you. You place your knees on each side of his hips, before settling down on top of him. 

“Think you can relax a little tonight?”

He pulls you in, his arms moving over your hips. Carmy leans in, placing a small kiss against your glossy lips. 

“Think you can help me with that?”

You giggle in response, twisting your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck.

“I think… that could be arranged.”

Before anything too spicy can happen, there’s a knock at the door and you know it’s Syd. Carmy groans as you pull away, falling back onto the bed with a sigh of defeat. You climb off of him, heading to answer the door. 

“Hey, you ready?” Sydney asks, as you greet her. 

“Yeah, let me just grab my phone,” you reply, stepping aside to let her in. 

As she enters the hotel room, Carmy’s sitting up. With his feet planted firmly on the ground, he leans over, resting his forearms on his legs as he runs a hand through his messy curls. 

Sydney looks from you to a somewhat pouty Carmy, as if she knows she interrupted something. 

“Staying in tonight, Carm?” she asks him, as you gather your things. 

“Yeah,” he grumbles, and you can’t help but notice how tired he looks. 

Sydney rolls her eyes in response, “Don’t worry. I’ll have her back by nine.”

“Alright, I’m ready,” you say with a smile as you address Sydney. 

“You guys have fun,” Carmy nods, with a half assed wave.

“Don’t work too hard, boss,” Sydney adds, as the two of you turn to leave. “Oh and Carmy. You’ve got a little…” She gestures towards the lipstick you’ve left on his face. 

You laugh in response, and as you close the door, Carmy can hear Sydney’s ‘oh my god, you two are like rabbits’ comment in the distance. 

Carmy allows himself to fall back on the bed, reaching above his head to grab his notebook again. He’s honestly grateful to have a night to himself. He’s never been much for going out, or big social events, so having a night in feels like a good kind of calm before the storm – especially because the next few days will be full of social interactions. He’d always found New York City a little overstimulating. 

Between the dinner and the reception on Saturday, Carmy felt like he was collapsing under the enormous pressure – his only out being excellence. It’s not just the fact that being invited to cook at the James Beard house was a once in a lifetime opportunity, but there’s important business to announce here too. And then there’s the social aspect of it all, and he can’t help but feel like there are high expectations: from the food world, his reputation, your old friends from New York. And he wants to make everyone happy – he wants to impress them all. 

Something about being back here, and being back here with you, has him caught up in his head about it all. This is where you’d met. It’s also where he’d been at his lowest – right before Mikey died. So much has changed, and Carmy feels too large for his old battlefield.

Because that’s what it had been for him: a battlefield. 

A battle for his mental health, to rise to the top of the New York City fine dining scene, fighting with his feelings for you. 

Over the last two years, he had learned that he didn’t have to fight every single damn day. Some days he could just… be – be himself, whatever the fuck that meant, be a friend, and be with you. It felt strange – familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Being back here makes him somehow feel like the total loser he was six years ago when he first arrived in NYC… and a completely different person at the same time. 

While he was over the moon when he got the call from the James Beard Foundation, he also couldn’t fight this uncomfortable feeling that’s been sitting in his stomach all week long. Carmy had never quite been able to come to terms with the whole ‘celebrity’ aspect of the food world. He knew what he could do in the kitchen. That was unquestionable. But the rest of it – the networking, the celebrity chef circles – was the part he felt most unsure about.

Ever since Sydney’s Rising Star win, he’d let her take center stage with her rising visibility in the culinary world. Actually, he’d been grateful that she was so good at it – that it seemed like she enjoyed the part of the job he hated. There was someone to take the pressure off of him – someone who thrived in front of the camera so that he didn’t have to. But he knows at some point this weekend, he’ll have to face the music. 

There were big changes coming to The Bear. 

*

It didn’t take long after the initial introductions for your friends to fawn over Sydney. They were more than happy to meet your friend they’d heard all about, and the incredible chef who was shaking up the Chicago food scene. 

“Well I’m glad to hear that some things have changed and that working with Carmy’s not a total nightmare any longer-?” Liz concludes your conversation about the restaurant, earning an eye roll from Maya and a laugh from both you and Sydney.

“Oh no it’s still tough sometimes,” Sydney says back. “He has his days. We all do.”

“Liz!” you protest, in regards to the Carmy-bashing.

“What?! You didn’t have to work directly under him back then!” she defends herself, before clarifying with Sydney. “And in his defense, Sydney, it was really our exec chef who was the real nightmare.”

“Oh she works directly under him, alright,” Maya jokes, raising an eyebrow at you. 

“And sometimes on top of him, and also-,” you quip back, ready to play along.

“Oh my god, you’re out of control and I am sick of you!” Sydney exclaims with a laugh in reference to your crass comment.

“So tell us more about the new restaurant,” Maya prompts, refocusing the conversation back to Sydney’s previous reveal.

Sydney tells your friends about The Bear’s plans to expand, and shares ideas she has that even you haven’t heard from Carmy yet. As she wraps up her story, she realizes what time it is, meaning that she’s gotta head uptown soon. She really only was supposed to stay for a glass of wine, but meeting your friends has been so fun that she’s lost track of time. 

“Shit. I have to head out,” she says. “But I’ve really loved meeting you guys. You’re coming to the dinner tomorrow night, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Absolutely.”

“And the reception!” you add gleefully, so glad you get to see your best friends three days in a row. 

“It’s been really great meeting you, Sydney,” Liz says, shooting you a look of approval. She squeezes your hand under the table momentarily, before saying, “Thanks for taking care of our girl. She speaks so highly of you.”

“Where are you off to next?” Maya asks, excitedly. 

“Syd’s got dinner plans,” you answer, waiting for Sydney to provide more detail.

“Yeah, I uh-, I got invited to one of the To Be Hosted events and it just worked out that we’d be in town for this the same weekend,” Sydney replies, a glimmer of excitement flashing through her eyes as she shares.

“Damn, you got invited to a supper club?” Liz marvels. “Okay!”

“Yeah because she’s a rockstar,” you cheer your friend on, saying it so matter of factly that even a stranger would believe you. 

You all say your goodbyes to Sydney before ordering food. It feels so good to be back in the city, back here with some of your best friends. Maya and Liz had been the friends that held you up, and you them, when you lived here. While you had met Liz at your last job, a sous chef under Carmy’s leadership, Maya worked in fashion and the two of you had become fast friends after meeting through an ex-boyfriend. Once you introduced the two of them to each other, the three of you had been inseparable ever since. 

They had always been your biggest cheerleaders – especially when it came to you and Carmy.

“She’s great,” Maya says, in reference to Sydney. 

“Right? I’m so excited for her. This is a huge deal: create her own menu, a chance to run kitchen without Carmy…” you agree, feeling deep satisfaction over the amazing people you have in your life. “We’re announcing the big news at the dinner tomorrow.”

“Speaking of, how is our favorite guy? What’s he up to tonight?” Maya asks, guiding the conversation back to Carmy. 

“I told him he could come but I think he wanted to stay in tonight. I think he needs some time to decompress. He’s been pretty high strung all week,” you answer. 

“Carmy? High strung?” Liz asks back sarcastically, earning a laugh from you.  “I’m kidding! I really am looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. 

Maya shakes her head, before taking a sip of her glass of wine. She’s always adored Carmy, but knows that Liz has a different relationship with him, having worked as a line cook. 

“You guys are… getting serious, huh?” Liz asks, glancing over at you. 

“Um.. I think those two were married after their first coffee date,” Maya adds. 

“It was not a date!” you insist, shooting her a look. 

Liz lets out an unconvinced laugh, and you accept defeat because you know they’ve always been right about you and Carmy. 

“Maya, don’t forget. Our girl is and has always been the Queen of Denial,” Liz adds, winking in your direction. 

“Oh ha-ha. You guys are so funny,” you reply dryly. You nod, thinking about you and Carmy’s relationship over the last few years. “Yeah uh… it’ll be three years in the Fall so… you could say it’s getting pretty serious.”

Your friends are beaming back at you in response to your admission, and while you’d love to spend all night talking about how head over heels you are for Carmy, you’re also kind of ready to shift the attention off of you and your relationship. 

“Enough about me. What’s going on with you guys?” you change the subject. 

It feels so good to catch up with your girl friends. You all agree to make it an early night. While Maya’s husband had agreed to put their kid to bed, she wants to make it home in time anyways. Liz has a date later, and before you know it, you’ve wrapped up dinner and are walking back to your hotel. You send Carmy a quick text, because you’re only a few blocks away. 

You: On the way back. 

New York City has always been so inspiring to you. The city itself feels alive – like there’s an electric undercurrent that always makes you feel so full. There’s never a dull moment, and it feels as if the potential for a wild adventure is always around the corner. It’s also the place that you and Carmy met, all those years ago. It’s funny. The version of you that met him six years ago never could’ve predicted this: that you’d actually get to be here together, after almost three years of loving each other fiercely. 

Your friends were and always have been right about you. 

Back then, you were Queen of Denial and even then, Carmy had been your king. 

But you’re here now: in the city you met in, stupidly in love with the man you’d met six years ago who had seemed terrified to merely have a conversation with you. 

Your phone buzzes in your hand, interrupting your trip down memory lane, as you peek at the text you just received. 

Carmy: Went out for a walk and a smoke. 

You type back a quick, yet short reply. 

You: Love you. 

When you return to the hotel room, you enjoy the quiet of the evening. It still feels like spring in NYC, so you open a window because it just feels too damn good outside. No wonder he’d gone for a walk. You kick your shoes off, placing them gently by the door, before stripping off your jacket and heading into the bathroom. 

As you pull your hair up and out of your face, piling it into one conglomerate on top of your head, you eye the large bathtub you’d admired earlier.  Not only are you in need of a relaxing soak, but you’re hoping you can persuade Carmy to join you – maybe even help him destress a little. You don’t think twice about it, as you strip off all of your clothes, sliding on one of the fluffy robes that the hotel has provided. You flip on the hot water, the sound of rumbling water against tile hitting your ears.

There’s a bath soak in a glass jar that you find on the bathroom counter, before adding it to the increasingly hot water. While it looks like a mixture of some kind of soak and epsom salt, large bubbles begin to form underneath the rapid stream of the faucet, and you inhale deeply. 

Lavender. Vanilla. Chamomile, maybe?

The smell puts you at ease and you can feel your shoulders melting away from your ears. 

It’s not long before Carmy returns, the bathtub is almost at its capacity and the bath soak that you put in the hot water has bubbled up and blossomed into large, sudsy configurations. You’ve put on a jazz playlist, the sounds of Ella Fitzgerald filling the small space as you hum along. 

“Babe?” Carmy calls out to you, as you hear the front door close behind him. 

“I’m in here,” you call to him, turning the volume of your phone down a few levels. . 

You hear a shuffle of shoes, before he’s peeking around the door frame, his eyes lighting up as soon as he sees you. He knows it’s silly. It’s not like he’s been able to be very present over the last week, and it begins to dawn on him that he’s missed you.

“How was your walk?” you ask softly. 

“Good.”

He looks around the bathroom, the air thick with humidity from the hot water. You turn the faucet off, as you’ve now filled the tub to its capacity.

“You look comfy.”

“I am. It’s a very comfy robe.”

You wait a beat before preparing your ask.

“Big tub,” you entice him, gesturing towards the bubble bath that awaits you. 

“Yeah?” he asks, a half smile on the edges of his lips as he takes a step towards you. 

“Big enough for two,” you nod, making your case. 

It’s all the convincing he needs. You’re removing your robe, leaving your bare body on display for him to see, and soon enough, he’s stripping down and climbing into the bathtub with you. You share an awkward laugh as the two of you clumsily figure out how to position yourselves for optimal comfort. Your back is pressed against his chest, and you’re truly in awe of the large bathtub that somehow holds the both of you.

It becomes progressively easier for Carmy to relax. Between the hot water, and your naked body pressed against his, thoughts and worries about tomorrow begin to slip away. The two of you enjoy the quiet intimacy between you, the soft sounds of your favorite jazz standards, and Carmy’s lazily dragging his fingertips across any bit of exposed skin that he can.

You lean your head back against his shoulder, and Carmy buries his face in the crevice where your neck and shoulders meet. 

“Why don’t we do this more often?” he asks, in between leaving a few slow-paced, soft kisses across your shoulders. 

“Hm?” you hum in response. From the way his mouth and hands move across your body, and the silky feeling of the hot water, you barely have a thought left in your head.

“This whole… bath thing,” he clarifies, exhaling a deep sigh. 

This may be the most relaxed he’s felt all week and he likes that you seem to be enjoying this too.  

“Probably because we have a tub that I can only assume was built for a small show dog,” you joke. 

He laughs dryly. 

“Fair enough.”

Carmy waits a beat before speaking again, enjoying how his mind has quieted for the first time in days.

“Let’s put it on the list… for when we’re ready to move to a new place,” he suggests, quietly. 

“Somewhere with a big tub?” you ask, only sort of surprised by his request. 

“Yeah.”

You turn your head to look at him, as Carmy presses a searing kiss to your lips. You feel his hand snake between your legs and you begin to understand exactly why he’s enjoying this whole bath thing. 

“As much as I’m enjoying this…” he whispers against your lips. “Think you maybe want to get out of this tub…”

Another kiss.

“… dry off…”

You slide your tongue against his as his fingertips move higher up your inner thigh, earning a hiss of pleasure from you. 

“…not put our clothes back on?”

And then he’s swallowing your moans in his mouth, as he continues his exploration. Your head is spinning, and it’s not just the hot water that makes you feel as if your soul was set aflame.

“Yes.”

*

The next morning, you wake up alone. On the bedside table there’s a note in Carmy’s scratchy handwriting that reads:

Couldn’t sleep. Went to Chelsea Market. Love you.

You let out a frustrated sigh. Last night had been incredible but you also knew it’d be back to the grind today. While you’re excited for him – and for tonight – you’re also kind of ready for this to be over. You’re ready to have your boyfriend back.

read: bonus smut scene | chapter two

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila

#carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto #carmy x oc #the bear hulu #the bear fx #jeremy allen white #carmen 'carmy' berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto headcanon #the bear headcanon #carmy berzatto imagines #carmy berzatto fluff #make my heart surrender

[cooki3face]

what will your marriage be like 💍

I’d been thinking about how much humans fight and disagree but the one thing we have in common is the love we share for things around us. For people in our lives. We have wars, we fall into different categories politically, we have different souls purposes, we have different needs, different desires. But most often, what we do share, what we all desire is to love and to be loved. So anyways, here’s the reading for today. I’m working on trying to crimp out two readings a day or within the week.

***

i.

channelled music 🎵:

There Is Something on Your Mind- Big Jay McNeely

Misty- Ella Fitzgerald

At Last- Beyoncé’s cover from the Cadillac record’s soundtrack

I Wonder Why- Dion & The Belmonts

Stormy Weather- Etta James

A Sunday Kind Of Love- Etta James

Channeled locations 📍: Vancouver, New Orleans, San Francisco, New York city, Maine, South Carolina, Seattle

-

I see this being a marriage with someone you knew in the past whom you had a true love with that you may have had to walk away from or put down for a while in the name of growth or internal alignment. Like right person wrong time. Of course that doesn’t exist spiritually because all the time is the right time, divine timing is always right but you know what I mean. I see happiness and genuine joy within this marriage with this person. I see two people celebrating their marriage and their love and what it took to get them there every single day of their lives together like you know that drake song where he says “it might not mean nothing to y’all, but understand nothing was done for me, so I don’t plan on stopping at all, I want this sh*t forever.” The two of you put a lot of work in for yourselves for this connection, this connection was divinely orchestrated. All the pain, all the hardship, all the separation was for the greater good so you guys can grow and have the divine love you wanted.

Everyone’s gonna be looking at the two of you. I see you guys glowing, I see the two of you rising to success in each-others love and in each-others presence. There’s so much self love and confidence between the two of you. It’s giving power couple, it’s giving when two people in a connection are very attractive and have a lot going for themselves. Everyone wants to look at them, everyone wants in on their connection and the love they share, everyone aspires to have that one day. I’m hearing Beyoncé, “so many people that I know, they just tryna touch ya. Kiss up, and rub up, and feel up on ya. Give you some time to prove that I can trust you again I’m gonna kiss up, and rub up, and feel up, kiss up, and rub up and feel up on ya”

I get heavy feminine energy within this group. Some of you are involved with a masculine or this masculine from your past is someone who is very desired or that people will desire even more when you guys come together and wed. This masculine could’ve been someone who clung to romantic/sexual company in his past for some time out of insecurity with me getting something from Beyoncé’s lyrics about getting time to prove she can trust someone again so she can really love on them and I think that’s kind of the energy of this connection. The two of you rising out of karmic cycles and habits and finally growing up and coming out of the storm to be the people you two need for each other and being able to share the most divine love and forgive the past and have peace.

Yea, the king of cups is coming out, this is my favorite masculine in tarot. This is a masculine whose caring and compassionate and loving. Emotionally in tune, in connection with his own inner feminine. He’s the embodiment of a healed water sign masc lover in my opinion. Some of you could want a water sign partner or have water in your own chart and need someone who can appeal to your needs in that way. And this is going to be the relationship, open, caring, gentle, and supportive and this person will be that as well. I see this marriage or this union being a personal celebration for you pile one, maybe even for your significant other as well. You guys have worked so hard and this is your reward or your personal idea of success and fulfillment to be with this person and share a life with eachother.

All the stagnancy, all the pain, will be gone from your lives and from this connection. You guys struggled individually and as a collective and I hear spirit saying that now you deserve someone to be happy and abundant with. This person is gonna be really good in bed as well, their going to keep you over the top satisfied. I see you guys having very passionate and loving s*x lives and maybe even potentially creating a large family together. Like if you’ve ever seen queen Charlotte where she’s telling her kids that her and George created all the many children they had all by themselves without any help. You guys give queen Charlotte and king George vibes. Love is so deep and real and unconditional despite obstacles or obvious flaws within one another. You love eachother through it all. Regardless of it all and that’s all that matters. Go watch queen Charlotte on Netflix if you haven’t man. Ugh. It’s so good.

Yess, this ten of Pentacles upright here speaking of wealth, long term success, and family !!! I see you guys becoming very wealthy together as well, being able to give your children and yourselves good, long, prosperous lives. So beautiful. You and this person may end up having a lot of children together as well. I see you guys getting to work. Someone carries the energy of the empress, or the divine mother here. You could have a cancer moon or some prominent cancer placements in your chart. This person is gonna load you up, keep you pregnant like clock work. Everyone is gonna be tired of y’all like damn do you really need another baby shower this year too.

Overall success and abundance with this ace of pentacles proud and upright. Very good.

***

ii.

channeled music 🎵:

Drunk In Love- Beyoncé

Adorn- Miguel

Tennessee Whiskey - Chris Stapleton

Ooo Baby Baby- Smokey Robinson & the miracles

channeled locations 📍: Texas, Little Rock Arkansas, California, Alabama, Connecticut, North Dakota, New Hampshire, Georgia, Philadelphia, Country sides and suburbs,, Canada

-

You may meet this person at a rough time in your life or at a time where you may have isolated yourself from others or stepped into some sort of hermit mode. This could be after some sort of heart break or some type of significant life experience that causes a lot of insecurity and self limiting beliefs to come to the surface to be purged or be removed. A dark night of the soul or some sort of right of passage towards your ascension with this eight of swords upright speaking of negative thoughts and imposed restriction here. I’m getting this pain or this isolation and hurt may be caused by your spouse or your significant other. But there’s a lot of change and transformation here with the death card upright. Cycles ending. There’s a lot of mixed energy here for this part of the collective. I’m getting some of you may be coming out of rough relationships and being burned repeatedly in love and mistreated and pushed into a path of learning and healing and some of you may end up marrying someone or are married to someone who doesn’t have good intentions towards you and that you may separate from and grow into yourselves because of.

You may have an astrology placements that indicate complications and love and long term relationships. You could potentially get married early and get divorced due to turbulence or general just lack of happiness and harmony within your marriage. But whatever this downfall is or whatever this drama or turbulence is will lead you down the path of releasing limiting self beliefs and embarking on your own personal spiritual journey and path to self love which will bring in a greater love and a true love for you later in life when the time is right here. This person that you’ll find yourself married or committed to in the beginning, some type of truth will come out about them that will lead to this not working out.

But, this new love that blossom and come from your ending in your first connection or marriage will further propel you into soul searching and really finding out who you are and becoming secure in yourself here. This is going to be someone whose going to benefit you, whose going to compliment you and push you to be a better person and continue to heal and improve. You could have similar chart placements as Ariana grande or relate to her love life in some way. She’s known for having somewhat of a turbulent love life or to have issues within her personal relationships.

***

iii.

channeled music 🎵:

Valerie - Amy winehouse

Beggin’ - Maneskin

Hey ya - outkast

Milk - Kings of Leon

Creep - Radiohead

Cherry wine - Hozier

Ho Hey - The Lumineers

channeled locations 📍: Brooklyn, Chicago, San Diego, San Francisco, Colorado, Oregon, St. Helens Oregon, Washington, New York City, Long Beach California

-

I’m getting that some of your are masculine energies, masculine energy dominant or are literally men lol. I keep hearing over and over the opening lyrics to Hey ya by OutKast.

The song Hey Ya is a really chaotic and high energy song we all know that but there’s an artist on TikTok who has a beautiful soft cover of the song and i feel like it really captures the energy I’m getting from these lyrics. Link to her TikTok.

You could marry someone you feel really anxious or worried about your connection with. I hear someone worried about losing their person or losing this person in particular. Many of you will marry someone you know already or someone who plays a massive part in your life or who shaped what love means and what love meant for you. Spirit is telling me that this person and this connection was given to you to to you to test your strength and push you to become the person you were meant to be become all along because this person inspires you to grow and go the extra mile in life.

This person gives you hope, you may feel as though your purpose in life is to love this person because they inspire you so heavily. This person may trigger some sort of spiritual awakening for you or lead you down a journey of self discovery and soul searching as well. I see this person teaching you and allowing you to release your fears and open up your heart. Someone’s heart chakra could be blocked or has been closed off for a long time due to trauma and other issues. This marriage with this person will be full of clear communication, in depth conversations, and clear and healthy boundaries and ideas. This person could create a safe space for you or a safe environment. I see you and this person becoming an example of what a harmonious and healthy relationship is meant to look like. You out of anybody knows what it feels like to be in unhealthy relationships or have a turbulent and draining relationship dynamic with someone I’m hearing and this is not that. This relationship will be a breath of fresh air for you.

I see you being someone who is anxious in energy or is prone to pessimistic ideas or thinking due to your anxiety as well. Like the second something positive happens with this person especially if you know this person already your mind finds a way to push you away from them out of fear of becoming too comfortable or too vulnerable and then leaving you or pulling away from you but I don’t see this with this person with the four of wands upright. This person loves you unconditionally, you can’t lose something that’s unconditionally. That’s gentle and that doesn’t judge you or intend to hurt you the way that people may have in the past.

I’m hearing it took someone a while to come forward and take the leap of faith to pursue this relationship because they couldn’t decide if they were worth this persons love and time or if they were strong enough to handle this person rejecting you or walking away from you because you felt that they would and that they would wake up one day and realize that they don’t want you anymore or feel burdened by you. But I see you looking at this connection when you guys are married and the rough part of the push and pull that you feel in regards to this person blows over and you being proud and abundant because this relationship is long term, steady, and giving.

This person is made for you, your relationship and connection is very divinely protected and orchestrated pile three. And all of this will be revealed to you more and more as years progress within this marriage here. You and this person are incredibly connected on an intuitive and spiritual level you share so much love and compassion for one another as well. You think yourself less than this person or someone who doesn’t deserve this persons love and presence and that’s simply not true. I hear spirit saying if anyone deserves this person, if anyone is made for this person, if anyone deserves a love or connection like this it’s you.

**

That’s it, lol I might take a break from love readings for a moment because the collective is very steady and my readings can often be repetitive but many of people within the collective are about to get married or be in the most divine love within their life. A good amount of the collective is still learning what love means and it may take them a while to find that but otherwise everyone is exactly where they’re meant to be. 💕

#self love #self care #self improvement #self discovery #dream girl #self expression #healingjourney #self healing #manifestation #divine feminine #divine masculine collective #love reading #love tarot reading #marriage love reading #tarot readers of tumblr #tarot readers of instagram #tarot readers of TikTok #pick a pile #pick a card

[millerscoffee]

at my fingertips

⟣ queer friendly fic ⟢

2.3k | frankie morales x santiago garcia x f!reader

rating: 18+ MDNI

warnings: THROUPLE – everybody is dating each other!!, established relationship, threesome obv, smut w/ fluffy bits, piv (unprotected), oral (m - m receiving, m - f receiving, f - m receiving) – everybody's sucking fish's dick ok, cum play, kissing (m/m, m/f), dirty talk – this is all dirty who am i kidding. hints of sub!santi + sub!frankie + dom!reader. probably not the best spanish you've ever read - sorry! no use of y/n.

summary: you, frankie, and santi are celebrating your one year anniversary in costa rica after everyone ignoring their feelings for each other for three years – though frankie and santi for way longer.

A/N: just doing the lord's work, hold your applause. JUST KIDDING. idk man i've been thinking about this a lot lately, and i have a soft spot for two tough ex-military dudes (who look very bbg) making out (etc.) in reader's presence idk IDK IDK. please let me know if you enjoyed this!

An entanglement of three naked bodies bathed in the sunlight of a California King sized bed. It had been a year exactly, today in fact, since you and your boys decided to do this. To really do this, not just skirt around the subject for three years. You met them volunteering, hitting it off immediately. None of you knew it would end up like this. But three years is exactly how long it took for you all to come to your senses about this.

Now here you were, sandwiched between your two favorite humans somewhere in paradise.

Costa Rica, to be more specific. It was humid, skin sticky between the three of you as you begin to shift, a reaction from morning light spilling over your eyes. Santi shifts with you, an inhale thick through his nose as he pulls you closer. You feel protected between the two of them, a lazy grin to yourself when you notice Frankie has taken the position of little spoon – his back splayed against your chest.

Your eyes remain shut while you drape your thigh over Frankie's hips and nuzzle your face against the back of his neck, letting your hand shift over top of Santi's when it snakes around your waist. Frankie's not remotely awake yet, but you can sense Santiago's eyes creeping open from the touch of your fingertips.

There's a part of you that knows he will always be on high alert from the life he's had, the life they've both had, but in this moment he is not awake in defense or protection, or a dream that has left him in a cold sweat. No, this morning is in full surrender. He feels vulnerable against your back as you press against him, his nose brushing into your hair, and you will your eyes open.

Gingerly, Santi thumbs over your abdomen in this lazy formation and it's enough to make you want to stay like this forever and feel a rush of heat pool at the base of your stomach.

You think you stifled the shudder fluttering through your body, but as always, Santi knows you better than you think he does. Without a word, Santi's fingers walk down your pubic bone, just over the mound at the top of your clit. You huff out a breath, noticing that you'd been holding your inhale. His touch bringing you back to earth.

This breath against the back of Frankie's neck makes the man to move a bit in his sleep and you both freeze to notice if he will wake up, not really wanting to disturb him. "Cariño," he whispers, his voice gruff and full of sleep and it's the sexiest sound in the world. You can tell he's barely done anything to make you believe he's awake, but Santi's fingers spread your lips apart and he marvels at how wet you are when he dips his middle finger between your folds.

"Amor, ella está muy mojada." The bass from Garcia's low voice vibrates against your back, and you try to not completely fall apart at the drop of a hat. But you can feel Santiago's cock stiffen, notice Francisco's body become more awake at the sound of his boyfriend's words, and it's almost too much to take. The heat in the room turns your cheeks and lips a feverish colour, and you bite down a whimper when Frankie rolls onto his back to witness Santi playing with your pussy like two animals in heat.

From behind, it's like you can hear Santi's lips form into a hazy grin the second he sees your shared lover – half proud and half eager to get him involved. He pulls his fingers from you slowly, and the lack of friction would make you whine if you hadn't witnessed those same fingers tempting onto Frankie's tongue. Like a kitten, Frankie laps at them, suckling your wetness at the tips of Santi's fingers with his big brown, sleepy eyes staring at the both of you.

It sears right through you.

Frankie wraps his mouth around Santi's fingers to tease you both, and a groan can be heard from behind you at just how good he is at teasing you both and you groan in response, pushing your ass back against Santi's cock. A hitched sigh escaping you when Frankie moves Santi's fingers from his mouth for one of your breasts. He moves down the bed to greet them as the lover behind you eases one, then two of his fingers into you. There's no need in preparing your body, you're so wet, after all... and a bit prepared from the night before.

Panting as you push the back of Frankie's head into your tits, his skilled tongue flicks at your nipples. Santiago has different plans, however, as he replaces his fingers to line his cock up against your hips. Hissing when he takes a handful of your ass to pull it back and expose your pussy for him. "Christ," he mutters under his breath, teasing the head of his thick cock against you. You moan, urging Frankie up to meet your mouth and you kiss him hard. With tongue, your explore his throat and a guttural moan comes from you when Santi pushes into your walls. He's thick and deep into you in no time, his trained cock rubbing against that spot inside of you just over the hilt.

"Ajustada– fuck. Fucking tight," you hear a growl against your ear, and you've done this enough to know just how your body gets to them both. You stifle what would be a scream when he moves his hips, and you desperately search for Frankie's cock with your hand. However he pulls your grip away and shakes his head, causing you to moan and let out a frustrated whine at the same time. New record.

Instead, he presses his forehead to yours for the moment, and insists you look into his dreamy eyes. "That's it, you're being such a good girl taking Santi's cock like that. I know, he's so big. Isn't he, princesa?"

The way Frankie is speaking to you sends your body into overdrive. Santi's cock now snapping into you with no remorse as his calloused fingers rub your clit just the way you do when you show off for them. Garcia's free hand grips into the front of your hip, urging bruises to come to the surface later on in the day, but it feels so delicious in the moment all you can do is cradle your bottom lip into your mouth and keep a furrowed brow.

You can't see Santiago behind you yet, but you know how hot he looks when he's fucking: concentrated, his hips moving almost magically, and the occasional groan leaves his throat right against your ear. It sends a shiver down your spine.

What's worse is Frankie knows just how fat and thick Santi's cock feels inside of you because it's been in him too, and it makes your skin hot to know his words are from experience. So many times you've seen them together in one way or another, and there is nothing you three haven't shared with each other. You're irrevocably in love, and it brings your heart to new heights every time you're together.

This morning those thoughts flood you when you can't quite look into Frankie's eyes anymore. They're rolling into your skull, cock-drunk and all you can hear the squelching of your drenched pussy from Santi moving in and out of you.

You can feel him start to brink, too.

Morales won't let you slip just yet, though, and firmly grips your jaw, your body tensing. "Look at me, keep your eyes on me," Frankie is usually smooth when he speaks, but this demand is a bit harsh. Pope hisses at your tightening pussy in response to the man in front of you and you come hard without much more warning. Your eyes loll as your mouth slacks open, and Frankie knows better than to shove his tongue in your mouth – not yet, not til you've come down. "Thaaat's it. Just like that, babygirl. Our good girl." His whispers turn into petting of your face before his gaze is just above your head, watching Santi come apart, his hot load spilling itself into you when his toes curl.

Being a pilot, it makes sense that Frankie has a knack for taking care of people, but it's another level when he's like this. Your ears are ringing and stars fill your eyes, but you can still feel their presence as they praise each other. When Santiago leans over you to mouth and lick into Frankie's mouth. You groan at how it feels, how much it makes me want to stay like this forever. You lean up into their mouths lazily, licking into their kiss and they gladly invite you in. Tongues crash, and you feel Santiago squeeze you, holding you tight because you're their girl and nothing would ever change that.

The comedown feels like heaven with a view of the jungle just outside your window, and you nestle your neck into Frankie's jaw, his fat cock catching your eye from the position your head is in. "Can we share you, please?" You look up at him with an amorous glance, and Santi grunts at the prospect. Both of you making strained noises when he pulls out, but you know what the moan was really about.

Fish's face is still soft from sleep, but more possessive as his pupils are blown. Without saying a word, he takes your arms to help you onto your knees and positions your body to straddle his head. Your breath staggers, not really knowing if you can take another orgasm, but you can't help but sink down onto his mouth. His goddamn mouth.

Santi has other plans, sinking his body between Frankie's legs and he looks so fucking gorgeous like this. It was a long build up of years to see him this vulnerable, and you savour it every chance you get.

His mouth teases Frankie's cock and to watch it twitch uncontrollably sends your senses ablaze. He's a natural in wrapping his mouth around the leaking head. Frankie's cock must've been aching from just waking up from how flushed it was. It's too much to take in, blood surging towards your cunt in desire once more.

This isn't anything new, nothing to make you raise your eyebrow or question why things were happening the way they were, and when you sink your hips down over Frankie's mouth, you let out a sigh of admiration for the two of them. Your boys with their mouths preoccupied, love coursing through the veins of everyone in the room. Your body is still warm from sleep, growing stickier from the muggy weather and the heat rising between the three of you.

It's then Frankie's skilled tongue flicks over your cunt that you tremble. Bracing your hands on the soft form of his belly, his hands encourage you to sit down more and bring your weight on top of him. All the while, it's Pope who's in front of you now. Whose eyes are heated as they stare into yours, working the other man's cock in his mouth with precision. The sound of Frankie's muffled moans vibrate your core and send your hips to grind down against his tongue. A gasp rattling your ribcage, you feel him suck and lick Santi's cum from your cunt. "You're so fucking dirty, Frankie. You know what he's doing, baby?" You speak with seduction, ogling down at Santi.

"He's lapping your cum right from my hole. Such a filthy thing."

Both of your men moan at that, loving when you speak to them degradingly. You've never been too shy to put them in their place.

"Good boy, honey. Keep that tongue on me like that," taking your tits into your palms, you tug and roll your nipples. To feel the sensation, but you notice Santi's blowjob getting messier from his mouth watering at the sight of both of you.

Frankie's hands make contact on the breadth of your ass and it's cause for your voice to quickly turn from sultry to a slew of desperate whimpers. His tongue now merciless on your clit until, "Frankie!" Yours thighs are shaking on either side of him, unable to hold your balance, your body gives into bending over his chest. Now face to face with Santi and Frankie's cock.

Riding out the waves of please, Santi pops off his mouth on Frankie's cock, feeding it to you without giving you choice – he already knows you want this. Want to send Morales over his edge as you taste the perfect mixture of Frankie's increasing precum and Santi's saliva. His own mouth preoccupied with the balls of your shared lover. That's just when Frankie can't take anymore. "Ah, mierda!" You hear Morales behind you, his face pressed behind your thigh. His cum hits your mouth, almost taking him all down, but not quite – saving just enough to kiss Santi with. To share Frankie's cum with him, your tongues mingle.

---

When you all are spent – giggling at each other, making fun of each other lightly from just how taxed you all really are, it tugs your heart. To be held close in the comfort of Frankie's strong arms, Santi lazily stroking the other man's hair while you swirl your fingertips over the hairs on his thigh.

The three of you finally got it right.

After a group shower, the three of you spend the day exploring the jungle and beach, eating fresh fruit. You're all walking down a beach when lean down to pick up two seashells. A grin spreads over your face, knowing they'd have to put it back, but keeping it for the walk wouldn't hurt.

You turn around, handing them each a symbol of your appreciation for them in their own unique ways. Your companions.

"Happy anniversary, goofs."

#frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #santiago garcia x reader #santiago garcia x you #santiago garcia x f!reader #frankie morales x f!reader #triple frontier smut #triple frontier fic #frankie morales x santiago garcia x reader #frankie morales x santiago garcia x f!reader #frankie morales smut #santiago garcia smut #santiago pope garcia smut #by bee #queer friendly fic #queer friendly smut

[barcalover86]

A fic about Pedri who’s girlfriend works in corporate finance and has insecurities about herself when she hears from one of his exes about his playboy lifestyle before he met her

Pedri One Shot

Insecure- P.G. x Reader

Hola a todos, so happy for my first request!❤️ Hope you like it!!

Be free to send me requests, I will answer you all!!!

I've been with Pedri for 7 months. He is my first boyfriend. I trust him more than anyone, I gave myself to him. Since the beginning, I knew that he had a few relationships, but he always says that I am his first love.

I am no one special, just a 20 year old girl who works as a corporate finance. I've been doing this job for some time, my family not being as rich as they would like to. All the time, I tried to help them with some money, and now me dating pedri helped their situation a lot.

People know about our relationship, but they don't see as often together. We try to be as private as possible so that we can enjoy each other truly.

We have pretty busy schedules and only see each other after 7 p.m. (19:00). I work a lot and enjoy what I do, but being so far away from my boyfriend isn't the best thing.

When we see each other at home, he is really tired and wants to sleep. We started to talk so little, only hellos and how was your day, and that's all. I try not to let these bad feelings affect me, but every day, it's starting to be harder and harder.

I miss my boyfriend a lot, but try to understand him. After all, he is a famous football player for Barcelona. Not everyone can achieve that.

This morning, I woke up early having a bad feeling about this day. Pedri has training at 12 p.m. today (12:00), so at this hour, he is still sleeping peacefully next to me, his hand being around my waist. I smile at his beautiful face, kissing slowly his forehead.

I am so in love with him and can't believe how lucky I got having a boyfriend like him.

I get out of bed and get ready to leave for work. After I ate some eggs, I went once again to kiss Pedri's face, who was still sleeping, probably dreaming.

When I arrived at the building, I said hello to everyone I knew and went to my office. I had a lot to do today, so I didn't even realise that it was already time for lunch break. Pedri must be training now, so I hope everything goes alright for him. I decided to go to one supermarket that was near me to get some food for me to eat and a drink. When I left the building, I heard someone pronouncing my boyfriend's name. I look around to find one of his ex-girlfriends, the prettiest one, in my opinion.

"No se, chica. Cómo pudo dejarme por... ella!? Has visto cómo se ve? No puedo decir lo que le gusta de ella." (I don't know, girl. How could he leave me for her? Can't tell what she likes about her.) you heard her saying.

You start to feel really, really bad about herself.

"No te preocupes. Él la dejará pronto como lo hizo con todas las chicas. Tal vez todavía tengas una oportunidad con ella. de verdad eres la mas linda" (Don't worry. He'll leave her soon like he left all the girls. Maybe you still have a chance with him. You are really the most beautiful one), her friend told her.

I trust Pedri with all my heart, but right now, I start to overthink. Am I good enough for him? Does he still love me? These days he is very distant, but it's only because he is stressed about the next matches that are really important...right?

"Si, probablemente. Como si se fuera a dormir con chicas todo el tiempo. Todo el mundo sabe que tuvo sexo con muchas chicas solo para sus necesidades. Este hombre no tiene sentimientos, simplemente perfecto para mí. Somos exactamente iguales. Y, Dios, echo mucho de menos su lengua. Realmente es un <magician>." (Yes, probably. Like he goes to sleep with girls all the time. Everyone knows that he had sex with many girls just for his needs. This man has no feelings, just perfect for me. We are exactly the same. And, gosh, I miss his tongue so much. He really is a magician.) his ex said to her friend.

I walked away in tears. My mind was only on his ex's words. First of all, I can't believe he was with that girl, and second of all..does he cheat on me? I couldn't eat anymore, so I went back to my office with only one bottle of water. I had to stay here another 5 hours. I tried not to think about the worst and concentrate on my work, but my kind wouldn't let me.

I didn't know what to believe. I felt so heartbroken, and if pedri was seeing someone while being with me, I couldn't blame him. I wasn't a model, an influencer. I didn't know how to do a pretty makeup for me, so mostly I only wore mascara. I didn't have an athletic body like other people he slept with, and now my mind was on, "what was he thinking when he saw me naked for the first time?".

The rest of the time, I was silently crying. Didn't even finish my work, so my boss got mad at me but eventually forgave me. I really appreciated that.

When I got home (7:30 p.m/ 19:30), I was surprised to see that Pedri wasn't home. I started to panic really hard. Maybe he was with a girl? You two didn't have your moment for almost 2 weeks now, and maybe he was needy? But why wouldn't he tell you that, you could have helped him.

When your boyfriend came home was 8:46 p.m. (20:46). He never came that late without telling you. You tried to call him several times, but he didn't pick up the phone nor answered your messages. You were worried that he might have gotten into an accident, but somehow managed to calm yourself down when you saw him standing in front of you.

"Hol-" he wanted to say, but you interrupted him. "Dónde estabas?" (Where were you?).

He looked into your eyes and saw that you had been crying. "Amor, estas bien?" (Love, you okay?) he asked, worried. "Paso algo? Estabas llorando, mi niña?" (Something happened? Were you crying, my girl?)

He quickly went to hold you, but you stepped back. He heart ached. Did he do something wrong?

"Me repito Pedro. Dónde estabas?" (I repeat myself, Pedro. Where were you?) you asked again, now a little bit more angry.

"En el entrenamiento, mi amor. Te dije hace unos días que tengo una entrevista a las 2 p.m.(14:00) y luego mi entrenamiento empieza a las 5 p.m. (17:00)" (At training, my love. I told you a few days ago that I have an interview at 14:00 and then my training starts at 17:00)

You suddenly remembered that he told you that. You start to feel so bad that you forgot about him. You felt the tears forming but didn't want to cry. You still weren't sure that these days he hadn't seen any other girl. You were a shy girl, but you really wanted answers, so you spoke what you felt.

"Te sientes caliente?" (Do you feel needy?)

"Que?" (What?) he answered, really confused. "Qué quieres decir?" (What do you mean?)

"Te hago sentir satisfecho? Si estuvieras caliente, ¿vendrías a mí? Me lo dirías? Soy lo suficientemente bueno para ti? Soy al menos la mitad de sus estándares? Todavía me amas? Me amaste alguna vez? Si quieres tener sexo con alguna chica, dímelo. Nos separamos y luego-" (Do I make you feel satisfied? If you were horny, would you come to me? would you tell me? Am I good enough for you? Am I at least half your standards? Do you still love me? Did you ever love me? If you want to have sex with a girl, tell me. We break up and then-) you started but he interrupted you.

"No no no no. No te atrevas a decir algo así! No te atrevas a pensar tan bajo de ti mismo!! Eres mi primer amor, y me duele muchísimo cuando te escucho hablar de eso. No quiero a ninguna otra chica excepto a ti, mi amor. Te quiero a ti y solo a ti. Por supuesto que estoy necesitado de ti. Quiero cada minuto para estar contigo. Me haces sentir tan bien en la cama y nuestro amor es el más fuerte." (No no no no. Don't you dare say something like that! Don't you dare think so low of yourself!! You are my first love, and it hurts so much when I hear you talk about yourself like that. I don't want any other girl except you, my love. I love you and only you. Of course, I am needy towards you. I want every minute to be with you. You make me feel so good in bed, and our love is the strongest.)

In that moment, you started to cry. He hugged you, and when you were ready, you told him everything. He listened carefully, making sure to leave kissing all around your body.

"Déjame mostrarte lo bien que me haces sentir. Déjame mostrarte lo hermosa que eres, mi dulce vida." (Let me show you how good you make me feel. Let me show you how beautiful you are, my sweet life.) he told you and carried you to your room where you spend the night together.

I hope you like it. Let me know your opinion on this.🙌

Have a great day, people!

#pedri imagine #pedri fanfic #pedri fluff #pedri gonzalez #pedri one shot #pedri #fc barca #fc barcelona #oneshot #imagine #fluff

[pablogavisgirl]

Broken Love

read part three ➸ here

Pt 3? Who do yall think she should end up with?

"Hola, ¿cómo te sientes hoy?" (Hey how do you feel today?) Pedri's voice rang from the other side of the phone.

"¿Quieres que sea honesta?" (You want me to be honest?) I sighed, leaning against the counter.

"Si." (Yes)

"Me siento como mierda, lo he estado ignorando durante un mes, no sé cuánto tiempo más puedo mantenerme fuerte." She said. (I feel like shit, I've been ignoring him for the past month, I don't know how much longer i can stay strong.)

She had been ignoring Gavi for the past month, she had been ignoring his texts, his calls, she even had to ignore some of Pedri's calls, because it was Gavi on the other side of the phone.

"Oye, no es tu culpa, lo sabes, ven después de la práctica y te prepararé algo de comida para tratar de animarte." Pedri suggested. (Hey, its not your fault you know, come over after practice I'll make you some food to try and cheer you up.)

"¿Puedes cocinar?" (You can cook?) She snorts, she had known Pedri for almost a year and she had never seen him cook.

"Ay, sí, puedo cocinar mensa, ¿nos vemos esta noche?" (Aye, yes I can cook stupid, so well see eachother tonight?) Pedri asked.

"Vale. ¡Tengo que ir, tengo clases, adiós!" (Deal, I have to go I have classes bye!)

"¿Estabas hablando con Y/n?" Gavi asked, Pedri turing to face him. (Were you talking to Y/n?)

"Si." (Yes) He kept his answer short, of course he was mad how could he not be mad. Yes Gavi was his best friend, but how could he be so dumb and push the only good thing in his life away?

He destroyed her with just three words,

"No te amo." (I don't love you.)

Pedri knew thats all she could think about it, those three words were eating her up alive.

It took Pedri one week to get her to stop crying.

It took Pedri two weeks to get her to stop trying to text or call him back.

It took Pedri three weeks to get her to come out of her apartment, besides going to University.

It took him a whole month to finally get her to not breakdown, and he was proud of her progress. Those three words took a lot from her.

And he wasn't going to let him destroy her again.

"¿Cómo está ella?" (How is she?) Gavi asked. "Sé que están hablando." (I know you two have been talking)

"Ella esta bien." He said. (She's fine.)

"¿Sabes por qué no me ha hablado? He estado tratando de llamarla." (Do you know why she hasn't talked to me? I've been trying to call her?)

"¿De verdad te estás preguntando por qué? Le rompiste el corazón, ¿sabes cuánto tiempo llevó tener el valor de decírtelo solo para que la despidas así?" (Are you really asking why? You broke her heart. Do you know how long it took her to get the courage to tell you? Just so you can dismiss her like that?) Pedri sneered. "Sabes cuánto tiempo me tarde pa que dejara de llorar por ti." (Do you know how long it took me to get her to stop crying over you?)

"No quise hacerle daño." Gavi sighed (I didn't mean to cause her harm.)

"Dememente tarde para eso, ¿no crees que lo mejor que podrías hacer por ella es dejarla en paz y dejar que lo procese ella sola?" Pedri sighed. (Its too late for that don't you think? The best thing you can do is let her deal with this alone?)

Gavi laughed, "¿Sola? Prácticamente te estás lanzando a ella cuando esta mas vulnerable". (By herself? You're practically using her at her most vulnerable state!)

"Hermano al menos ella no tiene que preocuparse de que rompe su corazón como lo hiciste tú". Pedri laughed anger starting to seep through. (Brother, at least she doesn't have to worry about me breaking her heart like you did.)

Gavi stared back at him, everyone knew he had a bad temper, Pedri was usually on calming him downside not the provoking side.

He chewed the inside of his cheek, fighting back his screams at Pedri, he tried not to explode on his bestfriend but how could he not?

It wasn't his fault he didn't feel the same way towards her, its not his fault he didn't love her back, he can't force himself to love her, because if he tried he would break her more.

But he did miss her. He missed his bestfriend, he missed watching the sunsets with her, he missed her laugh, her smell, her smile, her hugs after a game or training. Now it was gone.

She was gone.

Why couldn't she keep her feelings to herself? Why couldn't she had just stayed quiet? Their friendship was ruined, and nothing could fix it not while she was in love with him.

"¿Podrías al menos decirle que lo siento?" He clenched his jaw, still upset. (Could you at least tell her I'm sorry?)

"No, ella no te necesita de vuelta en su vida solo para que la rompas de nuevo". Pedri scoffed, walking away from him. (No she doesn't need you coming back into her life, just so you can break her again.)

Training was done, Pedri was now home cooking your favorite pasta. He heard knocking at the door, "Hola." He smiled seeing you. (Hey.)

"Hola." (Hey.) She smiled back at him. "Entonces, ¿qué hay para cenar?" (So, whats for dinner?)

"Estoy haciendo tu pasta favorita." He said, stirring the sauce. (I'm making your favorite pasta?)

"¿De verdad?" Y/n asked. (Really?)

"Sí, ¿qué tal las clases?" (Yes, how were your classes today?) Pedri asked, Y/n rolling her eyes, beginning her rampage over her professor whom she hated. Pedri just smiled, listening to her talk.

"Entonces... ¿habló contigo hoy?" (So did he talk to you today?) She asked looking at him, he stopped serving the plates looking at her.

"Si" he replied. (Yes.)

"¿Y qué dijo?" (And what did he say?)

"Quería que supieras que lo siente." Pedri sighed. (He wants you to know that he's sorry.)

"Oh."

"¿Estás bien?" He asked. (Are you ok?)

"Sí, ¿eso es todo lo que dijo?" She asked. (Yes, is that all he said?)

"Uh, creo que quiere hablar contigo, dijo que te ha estado llamando". (Uh, he said he's been trying to call you.)

"Si, pero no creo que esté lista para hablar con él todavía". (Yes, but i think i'm still not ready to talk to him yet.) She sighed, looking at him, his warm brown eyes staring back at her.

She was thankful for Pedri she really was, he helped her come out of her slump from the heatbreak. He was helping her heal.

She enjoyed his presence, she enjoyed not feeling like a fragile doll ready to break again when he was around. He was gluing her back together.

He was fixing what her bestfriend broke. But she couldn't help and miss Pablo. "Pedri, a veces lo extraño." (Pedri, sometimes I miss him.)

"Y incluso si no lo puedo tener, extraño su amistad". (And even if I can't have him, I miss his friendship.)

"Joder Pedri, lo extraño, nunca debería habérselo dicho". (Fuck Pedri, i miss him so much, i should have never told him.) She leaned her head on the counter. "No es tu culpa cariño." (Its not your fault darling.) Pedri resting his hand on her shoulder trying to comfort her.

"Sé que tampoco es su culpa, lo emboscé con mis sentimientos, pero joder, me destrozó cuando dijo que no me amaba porque pensé que- Hasta Belen lo señaló, me siento tan tonta, Pedri". (I know its not his fault, I ambushed him with my feelings, but fuck did he break me when he said he didn't love me, because I thought- Even Belen told me, I feel so stupid Pedri.)

"Nena, no eres tonta, te hice decirle que técnicamente fue mi culpa, pero no puedes dejar que no te ame, que te destroza, eres increíble y hermosa". (Hey, you aren't stupid, i forced you to telk him, so its technically my fault, but don't let the fact he doesn't love you break you, you're incredible and beautiful.) He smiled lifting your chin off the counter with his finger.

"¿Tu crees?" (You think so?)

"Lo sé". (I know so.)

You both just stared into eachothers eyes, Pedri leaned closer, "No deberíamos". She whispered. (We shouldn't.)

"Lo sé, Entonces, ¿por qué no te has alejado si no deberíamos?" Pedri smirked leaning in closer. (I know, but if we shouldn't why haven't you backed away?)

"Pedri, estoy enamorado de Pablo". (Pedri, I'm in love with Pablo.)

"Lo sé." (I know.) He whispered "Olvídate de él por un segundo". (Forget about him for a second.)

You nodded hesitantly, closing the gap inbetween the both of you. His hands finding your waist, his lips now on yours.

You felt the butterflies you felt for Gavi growing in your stomach. Except now you were feeling them for Pedri.

You admit this was wrong, but if it was wrong why did you enjoy it?

Did you enjoy the fact one of the most handsome men in spain was currently making out with you? Or what is it the fact it would hurt Gavi if he ever found out about this?

Or what is the fact that you enjoyed it, because in the past month you have managed to develop some kind of feelings for Pedri?

I mean how could you not, when those chocolate brown eyes were hypnotizing you, the more you hung out with him.

But you couldn't do this, no matter how much you wanted to. He was Gavi's bestfriend and even if you did want to hurt Gavi this was not the way.

Yes you lost your friendship with him, but that didn't mean he had to loose his with Pedri.

Pedri was your anchor, he was the one helping you get over Gavi. But you didn't want to get over him by moving on with his bestfriend.

You continued to kiss him, his body trapping you against the counter, you knew it was wrong but you couldn't stop he was addicting, his smile, his eyes were addicting. He was like a drug, a drug you wouldn't mind getting high on everyday.

You snapped back in reality when you felt that his lips weren't on yours anymore, but on your jaw. It was getting to far, you had to stop yourself because if you didn't,

Who knows how far you would go.

You pulled away, looking at him, "No deberíamos haber hecho eso, lo siento, Pedri, tengo que irme". (No, we shouldn't have done this, i'm sorry Pedri, i have to go.) You pushed him away walking towards the door, the pasta long forgotten about.

Why did you do that? You knew it was wrong and you still did it. What would your friendship with Pedri be like? Did you have to start ignoring him like Gavi as well?

You were in love with Gavi, so why did you kiss Pedri?

#pablo gavi #pedri x y/n #gavi x yn #pedri imagine #gavi imagine #love triangle #pablo martín páez gavira #pedri gonzalez #gavi barcelona #pedri barça

[thoseboysinblue]

My Type

Part 2

Christian Pulisic x reader

You have a chance encounter with Christian, who happens to be just your type.

Word count: 2400+

Requested: No

Warnings: Swearing, drinking

Part 1

"Elllls" you groan collapsing onto the bed beside her, "we have a problem."

"Are you too hungover to function? Because I'm too hungover to function right now," she says turning to face you, "can you turn off the sun please?" she whines as you let out a small laugh.

"No, well yes, I'm hungover and feel like I could die, but I also have a slightly bigger problem," you say, handing her your phone so that she can see the notification.

"Oh shit," she grins, "I told you he'd find you."

"Yeah, I have no clue how he managed that though," scrolling through pictures you were tagged in from the night before. "Damn it Ella, you fucking tagged him didn't you" you huff at her. "I might have, but I didn't actually think he'd see it, he must get a million notifications a day, he was obviously looking for you" she smirks as she gets her own phone out.

"What am I going to fucking do, I can't accept that, but it would be rude not to wouldn't it?"

"Why can't you accept a follow request, y/n, maybe he likes you, and at the very least, it would be a fun story to tell," she chuckles.

"He's got 7 million followers, Ells, that's why, a follow from him is just asking for it," you sigh.

"Maybe it's him asking for it," she winks at you, "for the love, it's just an Instagram request, not a marriage proposal, accept it, see what happens."

"I could kill you for this," you roll your eyes at her.

"Or you can thank me for it" she giggles.

Ella is busy typing away on her phone as you hit accept on his request, not bothering to follow him back.

"Damn it" she sighs, "our boat for today cancelled, I'm going to try to get us booked onto something else." You nod at her, "that sucks, want me to look for something, I hate for you to be the one dealing with this on your bachelorette party, but we can always just do another beach day if it doesn't work out."

"No, I think I've got something else lined up," she smiles.

What you didn't know is, she'd woken up to an Instagram message from Christian:

Christian: hey, thanks for the tag 😉

Ella: hey, no problem, she's already threatened to kill me so you better be worth it 🙄

Christian: I will be, promise. 😇 So, I don't want to crash your party or anything, but what are you guys plans for the day?

Ella: Well, we had a boat booked, but that seems to have fallen through, so maybe just another beach day unless I can find a last minute booking.

Christian: It could be your lucky day...I happen to have a boat, and jet skis, and a pool, and I can have a fully stocked bar if you'll tell me what you guys like to drink. But really, I don't want to crash your party, so no pressure to accept or anything ☺️

Ella: I mean, are you sure you don't mind?

Christian: not at all, really, I'll get some food ordered too, guessing you guys are as hungover as we are, what about drinks?

Ella: we've got tons of alcohol with us we can bring, so just whatever you want will work 😉 you sure you're ok with this?

Christian: Positive. Here's the address. 📍 couple of hours?

Ella: yeah, I'll get this lot moving. See you then, hope this isn't a complete disaster 😭

"Girls," Ella shouts, "we've had a change of plans, our boat cancelled so I've got another one lined up, but it's a 40 minute drive, so we need to be ready for the minibus to pick us up in an hour."

You hear everyone groan and start shuffling around to get ready. After showering, you pull on a fuschia bikini that complements your sun kissed skin perfectly, and leaves very little to the imagination as well as some shorts and a sheer top. You pack your bag for the boat, throwing in your towel, sunscreen, AirPods and a book for when you inevitably need to drown out the rest of the group.

You head to the kitchen and fix mimosas figuring the fastest way to cure your hangover is to have a little bit of a buzz again. After a couple of drinks you all head to your waiting minibus. You climb into the back, listening to everyone chatter about the guys you'd met last night and mostly dodging questions about Christian, the group still none the wiser to who he actually is.

You pop in your headphones and lay your head against the seat and doze off on the drive. When you feel the bus come to a stop you wake up and look around at the clearly residential area you are in, a couple of the girls squeal when they see a few people come out of the house you are at, and Ella turns to you "don't kill me, please" she begs.

"Ella, what the fuck?" you roll your eyes, even though she can't see them through your sunglasses. "Our boat really did cancel and he offered," she smiles devilishly at you. "If this wasn't your party, I'd fucking kill you" you grit your teeth at her as she pulls you from the van.

"It will be fun, I promise," she smiles again, trying to encourage you, "you look hot by the way," she wiggles her eyebrows as Christian walks over and she gives him a quick hug. "Thanks for saving the day," she smiles sweetly at him as he nods, his eyes completely focused on you.

"No problem, glad I could help" he grins at her as she turns to go into the house, "the pool is out back, there's breakfast and drinks waiting in the kitchen," he shouts after her, still not taking his eyes off of you. "Hey, y/n" he offers you a smile leaning in to kiss you on the cheek before you bring your hand to his chest to stop him, " hey, Christian" you mutter pushing past him to head into the house.

Once inside, you grab something to eat, a hard seltzer, and some water before heading out to the pool. You find a lounge chair away from everyone and lay your towel down before shimmying out of your shorts and shirt. You lay down on the chair, popping your headphones back in and turning on some music as you watch everyone through your sunglasses.

You see Christian wander out of the house, shirtless with his swimming trunks slung low over his hips as he talks to a few of the others, damn he looks good, too good, you think to yourself as he scans around, smirking when he sees you. You know he can't see you watching him, but your cheeks flush when you've presumably been caught staring.

A few minutes later, he comes over and sits on the chair next to you, picking your phone up to see what you are listening to before turning off your bluetooth function so that the music is now coming through the speaker of your phone. "Do you mind?" you quip at him, it coming out a little more harsh than you intended. "I like this song" he says, unbothered by your apparent indifference, as you pull your earbuds from your ears and put them back in the case.

You both sit in silence for several minutes, listening to the music, your heart hammering away in your chest as you try really hard not to completely freak out over the fact that this trip is going very differently than you thought it would. "Can I ask you a question?" he says continuing to look straight ahead, his eyes also shielded by a pair of sunglasses, his arms folded behind his head. "I'm guessing you're going to ask your question no matter what I say, so go ahead," you answer him.

"Did you already have that jersey, or did you just buy it for this trip," he smirks turning to look at you, his eyes raking up and down your body as his lips part slightly, tongue grazing along the lower one.

"Neither actually, borrowed it from my brother," you say, turning over and adjusting your chair so that you could lay on your stomach, giving him a good view of your ass that's barely covered by the bottoms you're wearing. "So your brother is a fan, that sounds like a win for me" he chuckles as you roll your eyes and shake your head. He quickly realizes the current view he has of your ass isn't going to do him any favors, so he decides to get in the pool, but before he does he leans down to say lowly in your ear, "be careful in this Florida sun, y/n, you don't want to get burned." He runs and does a cannonball into the pool splashing you in the process, to which you just raise your middle finger in his general direction and hear him let out a hearty laugh.

After a while, you sit up and decide you probably should put on some more sunscreen. You chug down about half of your water and then set about rubbing yourself down. Just as you finish with your front side, Christian comes back over and sits down, offering you another of the hard seltzers you'd been nursing. You take it from him and mumble a thanks, cracking it open and taking a long drink.

"Do me?" he says nonchalantly. "Pardon?" you sputter nearly choking on your drink. "Sunscreen, I need some, I can feel my shoulders burning," he smirks cocking an eyebrow at you. You start to hand him the tube of sunscreen but he shakes his head at you, "my hands are full" he says, holding up his beer and phone. You roll your eyes and sit down behind him, your legs draped over each side of the chair so that he's sitting between them.

You take a deep breath and squeeze some of the sunscreen out onto your fingers, slowly starting to work it onto his shoulders and back, smirking to yourself at the low moan he lets slip past his lips. "Can I ask you a question?" you say quietly as you continue trailing your hands over his exposed upper body. "Mmmhmm" he says as his head falls forward completely lost in the feel of your hands on him. "Why are you doing this?"

His head snaps back up and he turns to look at you, "Doing what?"

"This, inviting us here, giving up whatever plans you had to spend the day with a bachelorette party of people you don't know?"

"Well, I actually didn't have any plans to give up, we are doing exactly what I was going to do no matter if we had other people over or not, and my new bff Ella, was in a crisis and needed a boat, which I happen to have," he grins at you.

"Have I done something to upset you?" he says, taking the sunscreen from you and gesturing for you to switch places with him. He scoots backwards, giving you a place to sit between his legs as he starts to rub some onto your shoulders. "No, I'm not upset, just not sure what I'm doing here," you mumble, "surely you've got other prospects you could be entertaining."

Your breath hitches as he slides his hands under the strings on the back of your bikini, "maybe I do, and maybe I don't, but is it so bad to think that just maybe, I wanted to get to know you a little better, you aren't like anyone I've met, and that intrigues me."

"Why, because I'm not throwing myself at you?" you scoff.

"That is a bit refreshing actually," he chuckles. "But, no, it's not just that, I'd be willing to bet we have a lot more in common than you think, y/n."

"What could we possibly have in common, Christian? We are obviously from two very different worlds," you sigh. "Well, for starters, I think we both prefer to stay home over going to a night club, if I'm remembering what your friend said about you last night correctly." You let out a huff, knowing it's true and start to stand up to move back to your chair but he settles one hand over your waist and squeezes lightly, letting you know he doesn't want you to move just yet.

"I'd also say we have similar taste in music judging by your playlist," he grins, "and your brother is a fan so I'm wondering if you've watched me play?"

"Maybe I have, maybe I haven't," you quip, not giving in to his not so subtle attempts at flirting.

"We also now share our best friend Ella," he chuckles, "and she loves me, she even followed me back on Instagram, unlike some people."

"So is that what this is about? Is your pride a little hurt that I didn't already follow you, or at least follow you back?" you laugh quietly, "Ella is a hopeless romantic, of course she followed you wanting to play cupid."

"Are you not a hopeless romantic?" he says, turning you around to face him. "No, I'm far too jaded for that. I told you last night, I didn't think I was what you were looking for in that bar, and I still believe that to be true, if you're looking for a hook up, I'm probably not your girl, and god knows if you want more than that, I'm definitely not it."

"What if I said, I wasn't looking for anything? But that maybe I found something I wasn't expecting, even if that's just a friendship," he says, pulling his sunglasses off so that you could see the sincerity in his eyes.

"Then I might believe you."

"Look, I noticed you before I realized what you were wearing last night, that jersey just happened to give me a reason to talk to you. I'm not asking you for anything, y/n, just give me a chance, please."

"I guess I can do that," you offer him a small smile, seeing his expression light up.

"Really?" he asks, as you nod in response. "Wanna ride?" he says with a smirk, noticing your expression change slightly. "On the boat, y/n, get your mind out of the gutter," he chuckles as you shake your head at him, clearly lost for a response. "There are several ways I'd like to render you speechless, but for now, I'm just asking if you'd like to go out on the boat with me."

@chelseagirl98 @neverinadream @masonspulisic @pulisicsgirl @swimmingismywholelife @lovelynikol16 @nyctophilic0vitnir @lunamelona

#christian pulisic #christian pulisic imagine #Christian Pulisic x reader