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#let them be a little silly to compensate

qcomicsy · 1 year

Text

I think it would be so much funnier if the Gotham Civilians could interact more with the heros in comics.

Imagine there's this guy your usual joe that Batman just saved from being one of Poison Ivy's hostage and he still on Batman's arms say's "Have you ever thought about just making this big pesticide?"

And Batman just look at him.

And he goes

"Gee Okay just a thought."

#only in gotham #gothamites #they should have a chance to be in te apotlight for a while #just sometimes #as a treat #their lives are a hell hole enough #let them be a little silly to compensate #batman #q rambles

1K notes · View notes

pucksandpower · 3 months

Text

Of Roomates and Revenge

Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader

Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg

Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so

Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink

I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.

The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.

In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.

The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.

Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.

Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.

Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.

Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox

I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.

What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.

Duties would include:

Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water

Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)

Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)

In return, you’d get:

A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)

Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry

Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)

First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make

The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.

Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.

No scammy offers or soliciting, please!

Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)

Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink

Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!

I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.

What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.

You’ll get:

Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district

Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment

Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas

As much wine as you can drink (and more)

In exchange, you’ll be expected to:

Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement

Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”

Refill wine glasses as needed

Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it

The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.

You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.

If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!

Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:

Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)

Compensation: €400 per event

Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.

A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.

Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:

Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike

Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)

Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits

Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose

We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.

Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.

If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!

No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.

P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)

Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)

Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations

I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...

I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.

I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.

That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.

Your main duties would include:

Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment

Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)

Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc

Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.

In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.

Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.

If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.

I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.

No weirdos please.

Hi,

Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.

I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).

A little about my qualifications:

Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics

Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄

Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway

Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)

No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry

In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.

Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!

I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!

Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.

Cheers,

Y/N

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 16h

My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!

I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.

A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.

This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:

“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”

Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.

Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.

I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.

My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.

I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.

I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.

Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.

u/chronicgossiper · 12h

Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.

Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h

Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.

u/chronicgossiper · 10h

Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.

u/NotBritneySpears · 9h

Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.

u/nosyandproud · 8h

Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?

u/NotBritneySpears · 7h

He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h

So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.

u/NotBritneySpears · 5h

It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h

Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.

u/nosyandproud · 3h

Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.

u/NotBritneySpears · 2h

Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don’t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h

This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!

u/NotBritneySpears

Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m

Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.

r/relationships

u/yourusername · 19h

I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?

Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.

About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.

I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.

Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.

From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.

But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.

I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?

In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.

Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?

Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.

Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!

The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.

Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!

u/judgingloudly · 18h

Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!

If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!

Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h

I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!

u/livefordrama · 16h

I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …

u/yourusername · 15h

Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!

As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!

Reply to u/yourusername · 14h

Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.

u/unpaidtherapist · 13h

Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!

Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.

u/everydayopportunist · 12h

This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂

u/devilsadvocate · 11h

I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.

My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!

Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h

I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.

The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.

r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 15h

AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?

I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...

A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.

She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.

Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.

But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.

Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”

I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”

I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.

The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.

It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.

After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.

But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?

I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?

Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?

I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.

Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.

But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.

Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?

Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?

u/juryofone · 14h

YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.

Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.

The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.

My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.

Reply to u/juryofone · 13h

I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.

Reply to u/juryofone · 12h

Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!

u/neutralpartier · 11h

NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.

The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.

u/glasshalfempty · 10h

ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.

My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!

Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h

This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.

Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h

Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.

u/criticaloverthinker · 7h

I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.

u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h

I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.

Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h

Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!

u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h

Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂

r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 8h

UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!

When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.

Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.

Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...

After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.

So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.

But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.

I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.

When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?

“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”

It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.

The limbo period was … not fun.

After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.

So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.

That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.

And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?

Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.

u/juryofone · 7h

Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.

But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!

u/neutralpartier · 7h

I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.

u/glasshalffull · 6h

As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.

I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!

u/romanticempath · 5h

What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.

I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!

u/fairytaledreamer · 4h

I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?

Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!

All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!

Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h

“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 21h

My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)

You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.

A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.

Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!

Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.

On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.

Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.

Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.

The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.

So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!

In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.

Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.

But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.

Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.

I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.

So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.

I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.

u/chronicgossiper · 18h

Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.

Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.

As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.

At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.

Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h

I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.

They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.

u/NotBritneySpears · 13h

Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h

Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.

Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.

u/nosyandproud · 10h

The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.

That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.

At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.

u/realitychecker · 7h

OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:

“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”

Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!

Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h

Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”

u/buildingbridges

OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.

My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...

r/ask

u/amateurdetective · 15h

I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code

I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.

So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.

Hear me out:

First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.

Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.

But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.

Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.

The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.

I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:

Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal

The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it

Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy

After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real

Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises

Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!

I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.

Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.

u/scepeticbynature · 14h

Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.

Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h

Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.

u/amateurdetective · 10h

I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:

A pair of feuding former childhood best friends

One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge

Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties

The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed

Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!

Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h

Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!

u/opinionatedtruther · 7h

Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.

I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.

But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!

u/amateurdetective · 6h

THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.

Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.

That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!

Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h

All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄

1K notes · View notes

writing-in-glitter-pen · 5 months

Note

love🥺🫶🏻I click at my notification so fast when I saw your posting again adfkgk you have no idea how much I like your writing! also I'm new to your blog but if anyone trying to hurt you I'm......going to give them a really bad time... 😤💪//hj

Anyway 🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻can I request a reaction of wrio and neuvillette with a darling who has a habit of looking at the price on menus...like why worry your silly little head? when you're with them those silly little numbers mean nothing. it's one of your habit that's hard to let go but he find them really cute so it's okay!

Awwww thank you so much, dear!!!! You'll be happy to know that I've got nothing but love on here which I'm so so grateful for ♡ but I appreciate you so much for your protection ♡

And what a lovely idea!! This is so something I struggle with so it was interesting to write about and imagine what our favorite boys would say!! I hope you like it ♡

✧˖° you're worth all the mora in the world⋆.˚✧

Wriothesley & Neuvillette x gn!reader (separate) II fluff!

"You're not allowed to order water."

"Wriothesley..."

He slides the drink menu over to you with a stern, "Pick one."

"...but I don't need—"

"It's not about needing. I took you out to spoil and indulge you, don't deny me that pleasure."

You've been dating Wriothesley long enough for him to find your cautiousness when it comes to his funds an issue.

On the first few dates you two shared, though he'd rather have pampered you with lavish meals and treats, he decided to look the other way when it came to how you'd always miraculously choose the most inexpensive dishes on the menu.

"I guess that's only polite...", he reasoned with himself, weighing whether or not he should mention to you that money was not a problem for him; but eventually, he thought it better to just give you time.

"Once we get more comfortable, it'll change."

And once you two did get comfortable, and he found that your behavior, in fact, did not change, his patience wore thin.

Why were you still so uncomfortable with him? It was almost an insult that you thought so little of him to assume he'd find paying for you a burden.

So, he takes to ordering for you. He knows what you like, and he knows if he lets you choose for yourself, the price will play a factor into what you order—even subconsciously.

Until you start choosing the most expensive meals on the menu, you're not allowed to make objections or requests without grounds like allergies or dislikes; which you won't have, because he knows you too well by now.

If you try to lie and tell him you don't like something he's picked for you, you will fail. Miserably, so.

"I don't like crab.", you argue—peeking over your menu at him in an attempt to hide your tells that he's become much too familiar with. He could read you like a book, and you have no idea how he's gained so much expertise in the field of you.

"Uh huh, sure, doll.", he doesn't even look at you, his attention on the waiter as he orders. "That one—", he says, flicking his finger to point at you, "is going to have golden crab.".

"And the crab will be market-priced. Will that be all right with you, sir?", the waiter feels the need to confirm, as market-priced foods are often quite expensive.

You jump in, "How mu—"

"That's fine.", Wriothesley interjects, giving you a stern look as he plucks the menu from your hands, revealing your red cheeks (a symptom of your fibbing), and passes it to the waiter before handing him his own. He doesn't need to hear the price, it's just a number, and you're worth more than all the mora in his bank account. No matter how ardently you can try to protest, he's committed to giving you what he knows you want—even if you hesitate to ask for it.

And watching from across the table how your eyes glimmer and beautiful cheeks turn rosy pink as the opulent flavors hit your tongue is more than enough compensation for him to recieve in return.

Neuvillette finds your financial prudence to be a quality of yours he actually quite admires. Too often, he sees thoughtless individuals land themselves in his court with grave, unsettled debts due to gambling or overspending, so your conscientiousness is to be commended!

However, when he is the one footing the bill, he sees no logical need for you to apply this virtue. He knows what he can afford, so you need not worry about it; and to see that telltale crease between your eyebrows as you worry yourself over what to choose on a menu with nothing priced less than ˙✧12500 mora, simply crushes him.

He can never sit right with himself when you have that anxious look on your face, it makes him feel like he’s failing as your partner. And over something so small as a handful of mora! He finds it necessary to talk you through the logic of the situation rather than your—for lack of better word—illogical fixation on a metaphysical number.

“Sweetheart,”, he calls in that soothing, deep vibration of his voice that feels like resting in the coolest, calmest waters of Fontaine, “I am the Chief Justice of Fontaine; as such, I’ve been entrusted to oversee both criminal and civil trials due to my ability to apply sound judgement to otherwise complex situations, unrivaled by anyone else in the nation.”

“…”, you sit quietly with your hands in your lap and blink at him, tongue-tied as his explanation begins to make perfect sense.

“…don’t you think I would have the discernment to manage my own finances?”, he concludes, hammering his claim into you with one last strike.

You have no rebuttal. He’s pinned you so effortlessly, it’s embarrassing. Sometimes, it’s a challenge to date a man with such vast practice in rhetorical argument.

Your worries being soothed with such tact actually makes you quite flustered, your cheeks and nose turning a soft shade of red as you pout in defeat.

The way your expression graduated from nervous to sheepish with just a few sentences of reasoning makes him chuckle, reaching out to lift your chin with the knuckle of his index finger with a cheery, but reserved smile on his face.

“Darling, I’ve brought you out tonight to spoil you. Do me the honor of having some fun while we’re here? There’s nothing more I want right now than to see your beautiful smile.”

You find it’s impossible to hold back the simper that blooms on your face from that remark, to which he smirks with pride.

This was the most fulfilling trial he’s held in a century.

1K notes · View notes

hazbin-writings-and-musings · 4 months

Text

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader Height Difference Headcanons

AKA What it's like to love a Short King

I was already inspired after my last headcanon post, and have some more fun little ideas for Lucifer X Reader, namely in regards to our dear Fallen Angel being the short one in the relationship. Got a bit sillier and spicier with this one, and I hope you're all ready for some very spicy ones in the near future!

- He's accustomed to being shorter than most, and while he's not one to accept mockery of any kind, he's more than comfortable enough with himself to accept nicknames and loving platitudes about his height from a romantic partner. Hearing you sweetly refer to him as a "Short King" will always get him smirking, and an affectionate "Little Lucy" makes him melt every time. Cooing over how cute he is is also sure to put him in a happy, purring mood, to the point he'll end up laying his head on your lap if you'll let him. Hearing about how darling you find him whilst having your fingers run through his hair might just be his favorite pastime.

- Between the wings and his angelic powers, he doesn't actually struggle to reach anything high up, but he will still appreciate it if you preemptively grab the item in question. That's not to say he won't ask, but he'll always make a point to be as silly about it as possible when he does. Requesting a lift is his preferred way of doing so, and he'll take his sweet time lounging in your arms after grabbing what he needs, even stretching out bridal style for a bit of carrying. Angelic magic can make him light as a feather for extra long bouts of carrying if you're willing to indulge him.

- He'll be the first to tell you all about the advantages of his stature, and at the top of his list is how often he finds himself at bust height, which is quite the gift for a breast man like himself. Yours are the only ones he's interested in, obviously, but he loves how easy it is for him to come in for a hug and tuck his head in between. You'll find him doing this wether he's had a great day or a terrible one, with the former being to celebrate and the latter being to get some much needed comfort somewhere warm and soft. He can't help it if your boobs are just the perfect place to put his face.

- He's going to borrow your hoodies. Granted, "borrow" is an interesting term for something you'll never get back, but he always ensures you're compensated in some way or another. No top of yours that fits him is safe, and the looser it fits over his smaller frame, the better. These oversized clothes are never worn outside the privacy of his quarters, and he wears them most frequently when circumstances keep the two of you apart, particularly at night. Having something of yours all around him is like having your embrace from a distance, and he can't help being sentimental enough to find comfort in that, even after so many eons.

- He's small, but you'll never forget that he's an absolute powerhouse, if only because it's beyond obvious when you're in his presence. Angelic power practically hums through the air if you listen closely, and that's just what you can sense at a distance. Things are even more intense when you come into contact with his lean physical form. For all of his grace and agility, he doesn't lack for physical strength in the slightest, and you learn that the first time you feel him support your body with his. He'll never once give even a hint of effort, let alone struggle, no matter how considerably you tower over him. Carrying you bridal style takes no more effort than one would to lift a couple of grapes. As such, he'll happily take you into his arms or lap, and showing off his unfathomable strength in romantic gestures always gets him puffing his chest with pride.

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earthtooz · 4 months

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in which: al haitham gives you something on his birthday.

fluff, gn!reader, quick drabble for this special scholar's birthday ^-^

“As much as I appreciate these… heavy, complicated-sounding books, it’s your birthday, Al Haitham, I’m supposed to be giving you a gift.” You explain as you move all three books under one arm. Did he expect you to finish all of these any time soon?

Sure you enjoyed reading, but you’re not sure you can classify yourself in the same category as your bookworm-boyfriend who burrows himself in words whenever he can, hence, the intimidation you felt when he placed all of these in your arms.

“Just because you’re ‘supposed’ to give me a gift doesn’t mean I cannot gift one in return.” He counters, rationally and level-headed as ever. “Besides, you accepting these makes me satisfied with myself, and wouldn’t you say that emotional compensation is a gift in of itself?”

“There is no winning against you.”

He looks content with himself, crossing his annoyingly muscular arms over his chest with a slight smirk. “Looks like I can say ‘no’ to you.”

You roll your eyes at his comment. “Whatever. By the time I’m through with these, my arms will start looking like yours with the weight of these beasts for books.”

Wordlessly, he takes the pile from you, holding them comfortably with both hands and relieving the strain on you. “Shall I put these down somewhere for you?”

“Just on the coffee table will do.”

Your eyes linger a little longer on the way his muscles contract as he walks around your living room, and it’s as if he can feel your stare when he shouts at you from over his shoulder. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready to go to Lambad’s Tavern? Everyone else may be at Avidya Forest, but at this rate, we’ll be the last ones.”

“I hear you, I hear you,” you murmur, retreating to your bedroom.

***

A week and a half later, you find yourself relaxing with Al Haitham in the comfort of your living room again, your legs on his lap whilst his arms cage you there, a book in his hands. The cover, however, is awfully familiar, and you realise it’s one of the books he gifted you on his birthday that you were at most seven chapters through. Why was he reading it?

“I left my bookmark in there, did you take it out?” You ask, sitting up.

The ashen-haired raises a brow at you. “This is my copy.”

“What? Didn’t you get me that on your birthday?”

“I did. I got us both a copy, of the same edition.”

“Why?”

“Remember when you suggested that we should find more hobbies to share? This should be one of them.”

Blinking at him once, twice, three times, you burst out into a fit of giggles, enamoured by the antics of your deceivingly stoic boyfriend. Throwing your arms around his neck, the (smaller) book in your hands hits his shoulder, and you grin up at him. “You can be so silly, Al Haitham.”

Though the hobbies you had in mind looked something more like new activities neither of you had tried before, you're flattered that he wants to include you in something that he loves to indulge himself in.

“Silly? I thought this was a rather reasonable solution.”

He lets you squish his cheeks with one hand, eyes never straying from the contents of his page. You thank your lucky stars that you’re the one who gets to hold him like this, and that you’re the one he wants to read together with- in the most practical manner. “It can be both- it is both.”

“Are you enjoying it?”

“I am, but maybe you should slow down. You’re already half way through when I’m not even one-eighth of the way.”

“I’ll wait. We can talk about it when you’re done.”

“Is this new ‘hobby’ a satisfactory gift, Haitham?”

A small smile pulls at the corner of his lips. “Most certainly.”

#earthtooz: genshin impact #alhaitham x reader #al-haitham x reader #al haitham x reader #genshin impact x reader #alhaitham fluff #al-haitham fluff #genshin x reader

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deathbxnny · 1 month

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omg bxnny I saw that your requests are open!!

I love your writing and I've been WAITING to request something (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

so I'm a sucker for platonic pairings, and was wondering if you could do something like Aventurine having a child sibling (fem if possible) and she's like his lucky charm and stuck to his side 24/7. Literally, he goes playing poker? they're sitting beside him and he ALWAYS wins with her there and things like that (and obviously he spoils her absolutely rotten and everyone who is willing to listen to him for more than 5 minutes knows about his baby sister), I hope it's not too detailed! 🩷🩷

love you and take care!!

Hey there, dear moot!! Thank you so much for the cute request!! I'm sick rn, so I hope this is okay and coherent lmao-

Content: Vague gambling, the IPC is it's own warning, angst, fluff, sfw

Reader is afab!

((Not proofread))

His little sister is his most important person in the world, and he makes that crystal clear to everyone and especially her, for that matter. He doesn't take any slight against her lightly in any way and protects her with his life. He would stop at nothing for her to be happy, which is why he works so hard to free her from the IPC one day, even if he has to take the fall in the process. She is all he has left after all.

He wears a golden necklace of her initials around his neck and even proudly displays the brightly colored bracelets she made him on his wrists, despite them not fitting his lavish attire at all. He let's her play with his hair, apply makeup on his face even if it looks silly, and also definitely has grand tea parties with her that he takes very seriously.

With that said, as his little sister, she's absolutely spoiled rotten. She couldn't ask for more if she tried, and even if she did, he'd try even harder for her. It's a way to compensate for all they went through together, and whilst he knows it may never repair the mental damage she went through, he hopes it can distract her from the reality she's living for just a little longer.

His baby sister being his "lucky charm" is definitely something everyone knows about. He'd have her sitting on his lap or next to him whilst he plays, slyly showing her his cards with a knowing grin. He never lost a singular bet with her around and knows that his final plan would only succeed through the light of motivation she shone down on him every day.

Whenever he has moments of self-doubt and guilt, he reminds himself of what he's still living for, and it's her. His sister deserves a good life, one free from all troubles, and he's glad that she is still young enough to have a chance at it. And as much as it hurts, that future would be one without him once his plans proceed. He hopes that she can live on and remember him through the freedom he gave her, even when she one day inevitably forgets his face, voice, and name.

Alright... I hope this was okay!! I'm not feeling the best at the moment, so writing is a real struggle. But either way, thank you again for the request!!<33

#honkai star rail fanfic #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x reader #hsr #hsr aventurine x reader #hsr aventurine #aventurine x y/n #aventurine x reader #aventurine

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sister-lucifer · 1 month

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Hatchet Whore

Toby Rogers X Male Reader

Dubious consent, little to no preparation, anal, mentions of blood/anal bleeding, degrading, being caught after the act, no aftercare, you're literally getting a hatchet up your ass idk what to tell you buddy chum pals

!!NOT WRITTEN BY ME, THIS IS A GIFT FROM A FRIEND!!

Oh, you felt pathetic.

Just an hour ago, you were exploring the huge forest near your smaller town, the twigs and pine cones crunching under your feet as you listened to the birds chirping, smiling as you saw a squirrel dashing through the pine needles.

It was a bit silly why you came here, really. Everyone always spoke of a tall, pale man with no face, one who wore a suit, who took stupid little forest travelers and never let them go home.

You didn't exactly find him. More like you were found by these...men. A man in a yellow hoodie, a guy in a white mask, and a boy with orange goggles and a sly grin. You were knocked out for who knows how long, waking up in a dingy, dirty old basement, the first two men leaving as you woke. Leaving you with this…guy.

Toby felt a bit bad for the guy. He wasn't causing any trouble, technically, but God knows how much the crunching pinecones made the Masks' go into sensory overload, especially when Masky seemed to be in charge. But, then again..he's never been a selfless man.

"I-I've got a d-d-" Toby made several popping sounds with his mouth, frowning a bit before continuing, his neck occasionally jerking. "D-deal for y-you!" Toby grinned, an odd look in his eyes. A very, very clear look in his eyes. "I-I'll let you — entitled to compensation! — g-g-go-..if."

"I'm not letting you shove your nasty cock in me, who knows how long you've been in this forest without a bath-...no offense." The proxy didn't seem to take any offense, only nodding with an involuntary whistle of his tongue.

Toby had a grin on his face as he unscrewed the cap of his plastic water bottle, his hands rough and scarred yet his fingers lean. He carefully poured the half left in the bottle over the handle of his hatchet. "N-no problem, I c-can — fuck! fuck! fuck! — work w-with t-that."

He was silent save for the occasional pop of the tongue as he pushed you to lay on your back, ignoring your grumbling as he grabbed the waistband of your shorts and boxers, tugging them both down. He grinned as he shoved his fingers in your mouth, giggling maniacally as you were forced to drool over them.

He snickered a bit as he jammed his fingers down your throat, causing you to gag before he finally stopped his miniature assault on your throat. He prodded at your hole for a minute, staring intensely at your face as he harshly shoved two inside. He didn't give you a second to adjust, only giggling as he intently watched you attempt to stop your face contorting with pleasure.

He finally removed his fingers after a few minutes, ignoring your whimper at the loss as he firmly gripped the upper handle of the axe, the blade resting directly underneath his fist. His face showed clear concentration as he slowly brought the hilt to you, breaching your tight ring of muscle as you moaned, covering your mouth.

He snickered as he slowly brought it back out, only to violently shove the handle in until his fist rested on your ass, letting you moan into your hands. He repeated this a few times, before reaching up with his free hand to jerk yours away from your mouth.

"I w-wanna hear you, f-freak.."

He held your hands in his as he continued his rapid pistoning of the hilt into you, letting you squeeze his hand as you moaned, back arching as he shoved the rough wood into your prostate. If you could have lifted your head, you would've seen the tent in the man's jeans as he fucked the weapon into you.

You could barely function anymore, your aching cock red and untouched as he started to mutter to you. "Oh, f-fuck, imagine if i-it broke — entitled to compensation! — i-inside you, oh, fuck-" He grinned at your slightly fearful, cockdrunk (hatchetdrunk?) face as he continued his little ramble. "Y-you think you'd b-bleed? Y-you'd probably c-cum from it, you f-fucking slut..!" Toby looked close to cumming in his pants just from the idea of blood leaking from your tight hole.

His eyes were filled with excitement as he again shoved the hatchet as far as it could reach, seemingly not noticing your tight grip on his hand as you screamed, eyes rolling back a bit as your leaking, red cock finally got its oh-so-needed release, spilling onto your tummy and thighs. "O-ohh, fuck, you really — fuck! — a-are a s-slut, huh..?"

You didn't- hell, couldn't- answer as you panted, your cock softening as you came down from your high. He placed his hatchet to the side, neck jerking slightly as he slowly smeared your cum up to your chest with his thumb. "C-cumming from a f-fucking h-hatchet u-up — fuck! — up your ass..f-freak! Little freak!"

Despite his cruel words, he helped you sit up, tugging your shirt back down. You leaned against the basement's wall again as he tugged your shorts back up to your waist, not bothering to clean you up at all. "F-fuck, I'll be in s-so much trouble..y-you shut up, okay?"

He didn't bother to acknowledge your nod of agreement as he heard the basement's door creak open again. Hoodie and an unmasked Tim stood there, completely still for a moment until Tim spoke. "Toby, what the fuck, man."

"S-shit."

#ticci toby creepypasta #ticci toby #creepypasta #male reader #creepypasta smut #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby x male reader #tw dubcon

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enbyenvy666 · 4 months

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personal pornstar Part 1/?

Being a hero can be overwhelming at times. Stressful and demanding, rarely having a break long enough to practise some self care. All to help and benefit our community. So why not get something back from the community? Hire your companion today! --------

Falling on hard times led you to signing up to become a 'companion' for Pro Heroes, hoping to make a quick buck, but instead you became the 3rd part of a famous hero couple who show you love in ways you never expected.

established!kiribaku x masc!reader eventual smut (will be a cismale version and a transmale version) word count - 1.7k

CONTENT WARNINGS - 18+ themes, eating food, swearing, sex work? except there isn't any sex yet, reader is broke, reader is implied to have piercings, google translate french, no beta (if i've missed anything please let me know)

You had seen the adverts. A website in which Pro Heroes can order ‘companions’ to help them de-stress. You weren’t a pro, no, quite the opposite actually. The ads were definitely targeted, you were seeing them because you were broke and in need of some cash in order to live. There were nights where you really considered joining while eating from a cup of ramen noodles as your third meal that day, for the fourth day in a row.

But when you did peruse the website out of curiosity, it didn’t specify what the companions would be hired for. It didn’t say it was sexual, but it didn’t deny it either. It seemed almost like a sugar baby/sugar parent type situation, where you would be financially compensated for ‘favours’. Some heroes were well off financially which was very appealing, but there were also some lesser known heroes who could be into some really freaky shit with not a lot of compensation for it.

After getting your electricity bill, you bit the bullet and signed up. You had to sign an NDA when creating your account, which you felt was a little over the top but your empty bank account was enough motivation to continue. Uploading a couple of more recent pictures, including a couple spicier ones from times you were really feeling yourself, and writing a small bio trying to hype yourself up, you eagerly waited for some kind of response. But eventually you forgot about it, focusing on your minimum wage job instead.

Until you checked your phone during your lunch break and found that you had received a message from ‘Rouge_ Émeute’. While the message contained simple instructions, it was written nicely with ‘please’s and ‘thank you’s sprinkled throughout. They wanted to meet you at a private restaurant, a restaurant you recognised to be a safe haven for Heroes to dine at without flashing cameras in their faces.

It was also an expensive restaurant, which made you feel giddy about one of the more popular heroes wanting to meet you. Putting on your best button up and slacks, you were nervous when you arrived at the restaurant. You were told to tell the hostess you were here for ‘R and D’, which you felt silly saying until the hostess gave you a bright smile, gesturing for you to follow as she weaved through the restaurant.

You passed so many famous faces as you almost had to jog to catch up with the hostess. You saw Fat Gum, Uwabami, Selkie. You’re pretty sure you even saw Red Riot and Dynamight! Wait… why is the hostess leading you straight to their table?

Hold on a second…

Oh shit.

The hostess happily gestured to the booth seat, across from the two heroes, placing a couple menus down on the table before quickly walking away. You couldn’t believe it. The number two hero and his husband, hired you, to be their companion for the evening. Red Riot had a bright grin on his face, showing off his famous pointy teeth, while Dynamight sat beside him with a scowl, arms crossed over his chest.

It was strange seeing them out of their hero costumes, Riot in a button down and maroon blazer, complementing his red hair which wasn’t spiked up in its usual style, but instead softly falling down his shoulders. Dynamight was wearing a white polo, short sleeves showing off his bulging biceps muscles, which you could see ripple with any minor movement. You scooted across the seat as you sat down, both sets of their red eyes watching you. Like an ant under a magnifying glass, you felt like you were about to burst into flames at any moment. Riot finally spoke, breaking the tension. “Punk_boi right?”

Ah yes, your username for the website. You had completely forgotten to tell them your real name, or at least whichever one of the pair you were corresponding with.

“It’s (y/n),” you responded meekly, trying to force a smile that made you look comfortable, but missing the mark.

“(y/n)… it suits you,” Riot smiled sweetly, placing his elbow on the table to rest his chin in his palm. You felt your cheeks grow warm, averting your gaze down to your lap where your fingers fiddled nervously under the table. You whispered out an appreciated thanks, shoulders tense. Dynamight kept his hard gaze on you, ruby eyes flicking over your nervous form, sitting shyly across from him. Noticing his staring, you took a deep breath, gaining the courage to talk.

“I’m so sorry, I guess I’m a little star struck, I didn’t think the number 2 hero would be interested in me,” you admitted with a nervous chuckle. Dynamight finally uncrossed his arms from his chest, instead digging his elbows into the table as he leaned closer to you.

“Yeah well, I am.” His regular volume just seemed to be slightly louder, causing a couple of glances from other tables. “What are you in this for?”

His question caught you off guard. You had heard that he was abrasive and straightforward but he still surprised you.

“I’m uh… pretty broke right now,” you admitted, eyes darting across the heroes’ faces to gauge any type of reaction, and when you didn’t see one, you decided to use this as an opportunity to turn up the charm.

“And because I want to thank the heroes that keep me safe,” you added in a sultry tone, reaching across the table to squeeze Dynamight’s hand. It was a lie though, you lived in an area with very limited patrols so there was more crime, but at least the rent was cheap because of it.

“There’s no need to thank us,” Riot said, laying his hand over yours, his large palm and fingers quickly engulfing your hand and almost covering Dynamight’s as well. You felt your blood run cold for a moment, before your face grew warm. You had assumed that you were hired just for Dynamight, maybe for some kind of cuckoldry thing but now it dawned on you. They both wanted you. “Please, order anything you like.”

The menu was the perfect barrier to cover your face as your situation started to dawn on you. Both of these men were nearly double your size, especially Red Riot, who was a mountain of a man. You weren’t sure if you could… take them both at once, let alone just Riot. Deciding to just get a pasta dish, you fiddled with your collar as you tried to steel your nerves. With your fingers threaded together, you placed them on the table to hopefully avoid anymore fidgeting to betray your calm facade.

“This is my first time doing this,” you admitted, feeling a slight weight lift from your shoulders. Dynamight’s lips turned upwards into a smirk as he huffed a short laugh.

“We could tell,” he teased. Riot chuckled as well, covering your hand with his again, his fingers soothingly stroking your wrist, fingertips just sneaking under your sleeve. Feeling the warmth in your face spread down your neck, you sheepishly turned your attention to your lap again.

“Don’t worry, it’s our first time too,” he assured.

“Wouldn’t you want someone with more experience?”

“Nah,” the blonde reached over, forefinger hooking under your chin with his thumb holding it in place as he tilted your head upward, forcing you to look at him. “We liked you too much.”

Thank god you didn’t have some kind of fire or heat quirk because you could’ve melted at that moment. Throughout the dinner, the two heroes would give you teasing touches and flirty comments, and as much as you wanted to reciprocate, they made you too flustered. By the time dinner had ended and they led you outside, the butterflies in your stomach feeling more and more like anxiety. You were about to have sex with not one stranger, but two, who were both Pro Heroes as well!

The cold night air cooled your hot face, but Dynamight’s hand on your lower back made the temperature of your cheeks a fierce competition. Riot stood in front of you to protect you from the cold breeze while requesting your phone. Hesitant, you gave him the device, watching him type away before handing it back to you.

He had created two new contacts, ‘Eijiro Kirishima’ and ‘Katsuki Bakugo’, and put them both in a group chat. Kirishima leaned down to your ear, feeling his lips brush against the metal jewellery that pierced the cartilage as he whispered, “Text us when you get home safe.”

Your mouth opened and closed as you tried to respond, brain short-circuiting when the scent of his fancy cologne filled your nostrils. Bakugo reached into his pocket, moving in closer to your other side, lips brushing against your other ear as he handed you something discreetly. “For the cab.”

Glancing down at your palm you saw a hundred dollar bill. Gawking at it, your eyes practically bulged out of your skull. “I-I-I thought-“

The two men chuckled, Bakugo sounding a little more raspy. His hand rubbed up and down your back, pressing his surprisingly soft lips to your cheek in a kiss that almost made your knees buckle.

“Not yet, sweetheart, but maybe if you’d like to see us again,” Kirishima whispered before kissing your other cheek, turning away to flag down a taxi. As soon as one pulled up, the red head opened the door for you, and Bakugo’s hand never leaving your back until you climbed into the yellow car. With quick goodbyes, you watched them walk away hand in hand.

The cab ride was short, leaving you with plenty of change which you felt guilty for keeping. Once you got inside your apartment, your anxiety washed away and was replaced with exhaustion. The rollercoaster of emotions from dinner, and from work early that day left you extremely drained. Stripping from your clothes and crawling into bed, you remembered to text the two heroes you were home safe just before drifting off. --------

A/N - ahhhhhh first time posting! please let me know if there's any mistakes or ways i can improve! likes and reposts appreciated <3

#poly kiribaku x reader #bakugou katsuki x male reader #kiribaku x reader #kirishima x reader #kirishima eijiro x male reader #bnha x reader #bnha x male reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo katuski x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #eijiro kirishima x reader #bnha x trans reader #poly kiribake x male reader

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synthetickitsune · 9 months

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Hi can I please request a svt o13 reaction where svt have to deal with a s/o who is having hiccups and the hiccups just don't seem to stop. Like what would they do?

askjhajs this was a fun silly thing to do!

S.Coups ❧ He finds you the most adorable thing in the world. He teases you for the first couple minutes but when the hiccups just won’t stop, he gets worried. Honestly if it lasts long enough he’ll start thinking about talking to a doctor or something. He sulks when you get frustrated with him after he keeps asking if you tried this and that method to get rid of the issue. Miraculously, after you snap at him, there are no more hiccups but there is a pouty Seungcheol that can't believe your body would betray him like this. He lies on your chest that night and keeps muttering grumpily that he doesn’t deserve this.

Jeonghan ❧ He keeps cooing about how cute you are but when you complain that it’s starting to hurt, there's no way he can watch you struggle and not help. Yet he disappears on you, and you very reluctantly search the house for him, hiccuping every couple seconds. And when you just begin thinking he must've gone out without telling you, he jumps from behind you and scares you half to death. Jeonghan’s plan doesn't work and now you’re both hiccuping and hyperventilating. He quickly gathers you into his arms with soft apologies. At least you get some cuddles and pampering as a compensation.

Joshua ❧ He's on his phone the second it seems like your hiccups won't just stop. He scrolls the net for solutions. He goes through them with you one by one, constantly rubbing your back for support. He's smiling at you softly which truly helps with your rising panic that this is your life now. He brings back a glass of water - it got you the closest to freedom before. He doesn't make you drink it but instead threatens to pour it over his head if your body doesn't get it together. Needless to say, even your body knows better than to mess with Shua.

Jun ❧ He laughs at you. He even has the nerve to imitate the way you jump with each hiccup. His amusement quickly fades into worry and guilt when it just won't stop, though. He follows you around and keeps checking if you're okay yet. He makes you drink enough water to make you sick, yet it doesn't have the desired effect. So he settles for being your moral support and keeps apologizing for making things worse. You end up cuddled up in Jun's lap, watching some movie that's boring enough to make you fall asleep. Still, you don’t hiccup anymore so he will count that as a win.

Hoshi ❧ After a while, it just gets funny to him that you keep hiccuping, but after a longer while, it's not as fun anymore. At least he has the decency to look sheepish when you call him out on his earlier teasing. Nothing seems to help, and he can see you're getting annoyed, so he changes his attitude and tries to make you laugh. He cuddles you and returns each of your hiccups with a little roar. You roll your eyes at him but it is cute. And it does take your mind off the issue at hand. For a bit. After that doesn't work anymore, you're left with clingy Soonyoung threatening you with doctors - and promising to hold your hand the whole time.

Wonwoo ❧ You're just so grateful for Wonwoo's patience and the small, reassuring smile he gives you wherever you apologize for disturbing during the movie. The idea was that maybe you'd get scared or shocked or just distracted and the hiccups would stop on their own. No such luck. He's a champ though, and he rubs your arm as you curl into his side in defeat. Sometimes, out of nowhere he speaks up and comments on the movie - which is highly unusual but seeing how distressed you are thinking you're disturbing him, he's gotta at least try to help. Even though it doesn't cure the root of the problem, at least he sees you relax again.

Woozi ❧ Let’s be real, the constant hiccuping isn’t annoying only to you but to him as well. Mostly because he gets startled each time you suddenly jerk with the strength of that particular hiccup and that’s embarrassing. Jihoon is a man on a mission as he reads article after article on hiccups, how to deal with them and what causes them. Somehow he ends up on a forum for mothers with children with dozens of crazy ideas. You try a couple that seem kind of alright and the third time's the charm. You laugh at some of the ridiculous ‘hacks’ but ultimately you make him keep the link saved. Just in case.

The8 ❧ At first it's a little cute but when you keep hiccuping after all this time, he gets concerned and decides he must help you. He guides you through several breathing exercises and tries not to crack up at the random hiccups shaking your body and echoing in the otherwise silent room. Minghao will pet your hair gently and reassure you that he'll still love you even if you hiccup for the rest of your life or if you turn into a worm. The shock of those words coming out of his mouth is enough to cure you. He has a victorious smirk on his face but doesn't take it back - it’s honestly an all win situation for you.

Mingyu ❧ He giggles almost as much as you hiccup. It's so cute to him - you're his precious grumpy sweetheart and it's so fun to tease you. Karma is free though, so for all his laughing he soon begins hiccuping as well and suddenly finding a cure that will work is a team effort. When you resist his pout and tell him he's on his own, Mingyu argues that it's gonna be embarrassing if he keeps hiccuping during recording. Somehow you cure your hiccups but the same thing just isn’t working for him. He's still happy for you but very dramatic about "sacrificing" himself for your well-being.

DK ❧ You’re an efficient person and you’ve read that surprise or sudden scare might cure your problem. Sure, you’re feeling bad for your boyfriend for what you’re about to do but you know he will understand. You creep up behind Seokmin quietly and then - as you expected - you hiccup. He shrieks and jumps, catching you off guard with both because you never know when to expect him to turn into a dolphin. He’s just about to scold you for scaring him but then he notices you’re looking at him like he just saved your life and he gets really worried until you explain. Then he dies laughing because, like, this never even happened to Mingyu so how unlucky you have to be??

Seungkwan ❧ He's scolding you like this is your fault even as he holds you and fusses around you. It's his first time ever seeing someone hiccuping for so long, so excuse him if he's a little concerned and dramatic. He will ask his mother for tips. He follows you everywhere, trying to be sneaky, but you catch him every time and he only gives you a smile and asks how you are feeling. It breaks your heart seeing Seungkwan's worried puppy eyes and the wrinkle between his brows. Eventually, the hiccups do stop and he just drapes himself over you, feeling so relieved he might cry. He'd get flashbacks any time you hiccup in the future.

Vernon ❧ You will strangle him, seriously. You would if all this wouldn't be the thing that finally got you rid of the endless hiccups. The this in question being currently the 35th minute of Vernon reading you some bizarre hiccups stories off the internet now that he's run out of medical theories behind what exactly hiccups are and how they happen. He doesn't even notice you're cured. You blame some obviously fake story about a guy who popped a lung due to hiccups. You had a good laugh over that one. Your boyfriend seems to be having a good time still so you curl up into his side and fish for more internet gold with him.

Dino ❧ He's a sweet and supportive boyfriend. When he notices the hiccups just won't go away, he tries to help and looks for more suggestions of cures. He's very wholesome and you're so grateful for him. That is until there's a wave of quickly following hiccups rocking your body and all he has to say is "drop the beat". Seeing your deadpan expression, the seriousness of which is undermined only by another hiccup, he bursts out laughing and you chase him around the house, the hiccups ceasing in the process. Chan is very proud that in the end he was the solution to yet another of your struggles.

#seventeen reactions #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt reactions #svt scenarios #svt fluff #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #requested #fluff

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argumate · 4 months

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hirosensei said: I still don’t understand what ads are supposed to do besides let me know that something exists if I didn’t already know about it.

advertising does let you know that something exists, but obviously the way it's traditionally applied goes way beyond that: in your daily life you're already gonna see people driving BMWs and drinking Coke and wearing Nike and yet still get reminders of the existence of these products every day for the rest of your life, why?

the folk explanation of advertising is that it conveys a message, typically explicit in the text and reinforced in the subtext, that the product in question will make you happy and successful and admired and sexy and people respond to that by buying the product, but that's obviously still too simplistic as we've all seen advertising for products we have no interest in and no intention of ever buying and most markets are competitive and there's more than one option and they all advertise, so what gives?

we can get more sophisticated by considering advertising as a dynamic equilibrium like an arms race or an ecosystem where Coke and Pepsi both need to keep advertising even though it isn't helping them gain an edge over the other simply because if they stopped they would fall behind, like trees wasting energy competing to be the tallest for sunlight when in an ideal world they would all agree to keep the forest canopy as low as possible.

or you can see advertising as akin to a potlatch, where the amount spent on it is a costly signal of the power and wealth of the brand, in itself demonstrating confidence and success more than anything that might be in the actual ad itself; corporations burning wealth to convince you that they are winners and you would be wise to affiliate with them.

or we can get a little introspective and consider that advertising isn't just to convince you to buy the product, it's to convince the people who do buy the product that you're convinced that they are cool people, such that they buy it not because advertising works on them (they're too cool to be won over!) but because they believe it works on you (you're impressionable!) except of course that all happens at the subconscious level as it sounds silly when spelled out explicitly.

other explanations for advertising (besides that it works) are that it makes the people running the brand feel good about themselves and is another form of compensation for them, either by boosting their image or giving them the excuse to dabble in the creative arts or liaise with actors or musicians or athletes they normally would have no reason to contact.

and similar analysis applies to all forms of design and marketing, not just obvious stuff like TV ads but logos, color schemes, custom corporate fonts, web design, everything orthogonal to a product that costs money and shapes the way that it is perceived in the market.

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ghost-bxrd · 2 months

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(Don't know if this was asked already but)

What are the Titan's first reaction to Dick calling to them in owl hoots?

And what's their reaction to Batman answering Dick the same way?

At first he wouldn’t make any birds sounds around them at all, opting to wear contacts and talk as little as possible.

The first time they witness the bird sounds would probably be in response to Robin hijacking the comms after Dick didn’t check in with him at the alotted time, suddenly Nightwing is just standing off to the side, hooting and chirping softly in the the comms.

The titans are definitely confused because??? They thought Nightwing was human???? But apparently the name means something after all so whatever. If they can have an alien on the team then a bird-man-whatever is nothing. And Dick, upon seeing that they really don’t care at all, starts making bird sounds more frequently around them. And the Titans likewise learn to interpret some of the sounds (“look!” Is a sharp hoot, “stop!” a chittering hiss, and “nice-move-but-I’m-going-to-show-you-where-it-really-hurts-now” is an amused little chirrup).

The real surprise is Batman and Robin responding to Nightwing with the same sort of bird sounds and it takes them a good moment to realize that—- yep, “tall-dark-and-scary” just hooted at him like an owl. And now, apparently he’s not mocking him because Nightwing appears very happy about it and Robin also makes those weird little cheeps and trills that genuinely don’t sound like they should be coming from a human throat at all and—-

Yep, now Nightwing is??? Cuddling Robin???? Is that a thing?????? And making the softest bird noises yet?????? (One of the Titans definitely tries approaching them but the dead stare Dick gives them makes them backtrack very quickly. The message is clear: no approaching Robin.)

((Jason meanwhile jabs Dick in the ribs hard and pointedly makes his way over to the Titans to cheerfully say hello and let them know that if anything happens to Nightwing on their watch, he’s going to become their worst nightmare. The Titans are reluctantly impressed but also very much aware that Nightwing is still giving them that eerily blank stare that promises a world of pain if anybody even thinks about harming a hair on Robin’s head. Like they ever would. Batman’s wrath alone wouldn’t be worth it, but now they’re starting to see that Nightwing might be even scarier than him.

Wally eventually takes one for the team and introduces himself to Jason, offering to share some silly stories about Nightwing from their last mission and eat ice cream.The speedster is the first Titan to get his individual bird call.))

The Titans obviously aren’t going to question Batman hooting at Nightwing (no way, they value their skeletal integrity thank you very much) but that day, many wild rumors and speculations about Batman are born, some them gaining enough attention that JLA hear of them.

None of them want to ask, but the running bet is either that the Batfamily are all metas with bird characteristics (“It explains how they can stomach swinging through the city like that Roy! They’re meant to have wings, but now they have to compensate!”), or that they’re secretly some kind of eldritch entities that embody all the weirdness of Gotham City (“No Donna, think about it, it makes sense! Remember all those random owl statues and carvings around the city? They’re literally an embodiment of that cursed place!”)

#theories are going wild #Nightwing never confirms nor denies #but he has a fun time listening to them fumbling about in the dark #they never do find out about his talon past #well maybe Wally does #who knows #Batman likewise never admits to anything #and any questions in that regard are answered with a blank bat stare #Robin is a gleeful little shit who makes more bird sounds around the JLA than Dick does #nobody knows the batfam’s civilian identity #Oliver would probably drop dead of shock if he knew Brucie Wayne was Batman #did I mention they’ve known each other sicne childhood in owl song?#hm well I have now #Brucie and Oliver are childhood somethings #owl song

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yan-lorkai · 10 months

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Good evening! If it’s alright, could you please write some pomefiore boys with a sick reader fluff? I just love how you have portrayed them so far in your work. Thank you!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: anon lmao-- you send this the day I caught the flu, at the time I laughing and coughing at the same time at the coincidence. I'm better now so that means I'm finally finished writing this, hope you like it! ;3

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warning: Yandere content, described symptoms of flu, potions, can be seen as platonic or romantic. Reblogs are appreciated!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Oh, Trickster, if only he could take you in his arms and drown you in his love to heal you, he would without a second thought. First he would look at you with heart in his green eyes, memorizing every feature and line of your face, holding you in his gloved hands and stroking your cheeks. And then, if he could, Rook would lie down beside you and let his hands run up your sides, down your back, down the base of your neck to cup the back of your head, guiding your head to lay down on his chest. Unfortunately he cannot risk getting sick, he has to take care of you.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Sweat bathed your skin as you shivered and breathed heavily through your mouth, letting out gusts of air spiraling out of sight. You were so weak, with a stuffy nose and a fever that never seemed to cease. And Rook is almost happy to be the one taking care of you in this fragile state of yours, your teary eyes squinting to be able to see him through the tears. You didn't even seem to know what was real or not, delirious with fever, dreams emerging with reality and you not able to tell the difference.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Rook is very observant and he knows what to do and how to act as you exhibit your symptoms, supporting you every step of the way to recovery. Rook whispers words of comfort, efficiently working to ease whatever pain you were feeling as he spoke to you, even though he knew you didn't hear him. He knows that you will at least feel that there is someone there taking care of you. Being a great hunter, he is able to prepare a strong medicine with some herbs that heal you in a few hours and also gave you some soft food and lots of water.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ When you recover Rook expects compensation in the form of kisses and your company, he's just so needy for your attention. You're his beloved prey, after all.

⠀⠀

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You are like a doll to him, one for him to love and care for, and he is so careful with you, bordering on condescending with the way he demands that you stay in bed and rest while he asks Rook to bring you a hot, nutritious meal. Vil stays by your side the whole time you are sick, reading to you, telling you silly stories or just talking to keep you entertained and comfortable, despite being a little possessive of you he really cares for you a lot and he wants you to get well soon. How else could he kiss your cheek?

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Vil almost feels sorry for you, so helpless and fragile, so dependent on him, he would feel sorry if this wasn't your punishment for wanting to spend time with your little friends and away from the safety offered by your queen. And he loves every second he can taking care of you, wiping the sweat off your brow and helping you sit up so you can drink your medicine and the potion that is fully intended to cure you, sure, don't doubt it and drink every last drop.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Seconds become minutes and minutes become hours, your recovery is slow. But at least the cough and fever are gone after the medicine and the potion you drank, your throat still itches and your nose still runs, but you are slowly getting better by listening to Vil's voice and taking the time to rest.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You might not realize it until after you're healthy, but the potion you've drunk certainly takes its toll. You become closer to Vil, preferring his presence to your friends and being away from him becomes agonizing - almost as if you're under a spell. But it's certainly not that bad, is it? His company is much nicer than those nasty potatoes.

⠀⠀⠀

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Epel is easy to despair. Should he give you water? But what if you want to eat first, or worse, what if you don't want to eat? Reluctantly he asks Vil and Rook what to do in this situation and follows their advice to the letter, making sure you are medicated and have a box of tissues by your side, he also brings a bucket in case you feel like throwing up but are too weak to get up.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Epel holds your hand, rubbing his thumb against your warm skin as he tells you about his day and the silly things that happened, the things he would do with you if you weren't sick. He has to resist the temptation to climb into your bed and lie down next to you to comfort you when you have a coughing and sneezing fit, rubbing your back gently and humming a little song as he helps you lie down, fluffing your pillows.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He knows a great recipe and while you sleep, Epel spends time in the kitchen cooking. He hopes the food is good, he hopes it works for you like it worked for him when he was sick and he was a kid. It's a recipe his grandmother came up with and one that works extremely well, it smells good, it tastes good, and as soon as you wake up he offers you spoonful after spoonful of food, even if you refuse. He will take care of you, whether you like it or not.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ When you get better, Epel wants you to go on errands with him. He requires some approach after taking care of you, he wants to hear your voice and the things you have to say.

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alliovera · 6 months

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Hellloo!! May I request a (platonic obvi) wukong x child monkey reader? Maybe she gets found hurt and wukong gets attached taking care of him,like he gets a kid! Cuz wukong as a dad would be silly!!:3 (I'll send a romantic ask after this,wukong is so cute)

THANK U SM FOR REQUESTING! I really hope you like this and sorry it took some time </3

gn!child reader

(Slight crack)

He knew he probably shouldn’t have promised to take care of you, but he couldn’t resist- you were just so cute! Despite everyone telling him it was a bad idea, he stuck to his role as your new ‘dad’.

And he never regretted it … until your first tantrum.

The lady bone demon caused a lot of destruction in her pursuit, and your family just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. All things worked out eventually as you ended up being saved by the Monkey King and gang.

At first, you were wary of him. A random, loud Monkey trying to claim being your father? Weird! But over time he earned your trust by actually (surprisingly) not sucking at parenting.

……

You cried and kicked as Monkey king struggled to figure out what to do. You had never acted this way before! It was all his fault though. You wanted to go into Megapolis and play at a park, but he just wasn’t in the mood to fly alllll the way over there!

Honestly, he would’ve just gotten up and taken you if he knew it would end like this. He’s so stressed as never having been on the receiving end of a melt down (usually its him throwing the fit).

In desperation he dialed Mk’s number, letting it ring for a few seconds before his friend picked up, “Hey Monk-“

“-Kid! You gotta help me! They wont stop crying and screaming and.. and they won’t listen to me!” Wukong rushed out. Your screams in the background told MK all he needed to know.

He laughed, “What did you do?”

“Nothing! Why is it always something I did?!” He sighed and caved - explaining his laziness.

“If you don’t wanna take them, offer them something as compensation. Like a snack or something… i dunno?”

Wukong ducked as a doll wizzed by his head. “I tried that already! Didn’t work obviou- OW!” He shouted as a small monkey figurine hit target.

That was it! He quickly finished up his conversation with Mk and ended the call, going over to try and sooth you for the tenth time.By then your tears had dried and your sadness became little baby anger. You gave Wukong the meanest glare you could muster (it did nothing as it was too cute to be scary).

The two of you stood in an imaginary duel, no one wanting to make the first move. After a bit, Wukong surrendered and slowly approached you. He crouched down to where you were sitting on the floor, “Look, i’m really sorry but we can’t go..” He panicked when your face scrunched up again and tears started to form, “Butbutbut! We could always call up uncle Macaque and have him take you!”

That finally put you in a better mood as you jumped up and raced around to try and get ready. Wukong smiled slyly and patted himself on the back for another successful day of parenting. (You were happy and he got to inconvenience Macaque. A win win)

[Feedback and critique is appreciated!] :D

#lmk x reader #sun wukong x reader #monkey king x reader #fanfic #lmk fluff #lego monkie kid #macaque x reader #monkey king & reader #sun wukong & reader

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genericpuff · 6 months

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zoo wee mama, the new Hbomberguy video is a RIDE and it's absolutely relevant to everything going on in webcomics. let's talk about it.

youtube

I'm sure a lot of you have heard about this video going around already (it's gotten 2+ million views in just a little over 24 hours) but if you haven't, I highly recommend you set aside time to watch it yourself, I was surprised to see how much he had dug up especially regarding Youtubers that I never suspected were plagiarizing. He also says some very on-point stuff about how we view content creators and plagiarizing in this "do it yourself" industry that really resonated with me because it's stuff I've been saying for years in the webcomic sphere.

I won't spoil the video much because I think it's best experienced watching it for yourself (especially because he's putting all the money he earns off this video towards compensating the people who had their work plagiarized by one Youtuber in particular who's especially guilty... I'm not even gonna mince words, it's James Somerton) but this passage in particular just felt so validating to hear from someone who clearly holds themselves to the standards that more Youtubers - and creators in general - should be holding themselves to:

"I think a lot of people are inclined to protect creators they like on the grounds that plagiarism is a very academic-sounding problem, like something that happens in research papers or journalism, not something that you can do in a silly video made for entertainment purposes. Why are we holding Youtubers to standards? That would be like expecting accurate history from someone whose name has 'historian' in it! Because Youtubers often project a sense of being scrappy, do-it-yourself amateurs, it feels almost wrong to expect them to be professional... but a lot of them are professionals, regardless how authentic their persona may be. Youtubers are now among the most recognizable faces on the planet, and have become immensely wealthy doing this. Some are so influential we literally call them influencers. Maybe it's a good idea to have some standards for not stealing. Maybe." - Hbomberguy, "Plagiarism and You(tube)" timestamp: 3:35:32

Obviously this has nothing to directly do with webcomics but I do think it's something that reflects very similar behavior within the webcomic community that's, frankly, worth discussing. Many people justifiably want to make a living off their work, want webcomics as a whole to be taken more seriously in the mainstream next to traditional publishing, and for webcomic creators to be taken more seriously as professionals.

But at the same time, I still see a lot of infantilizing of the people in this industry, done by both their fans and the people within it, the idea that being a professional (noun) isn't mutually inclusive of being professional (adjective). It's how we've gotten creators in the past like Snailords, mongie, and yes, Rachel Smythe, who are often shielded by their fanbase on the basis of, "they're just indie comic creators doing what they love, leave them alone!" when they're very much not that, at least not anymore. At least two of those three creators have TV deals (though whether or not they'll make it to the screen is debatable), and all three of them have or have had Webtoons seemingly wrapped around their finger more so than any other creator (though mongie has argued she left Webtoons over unfair treatment, it really doesn't seem like that to the people who know how much mongie was intentionally pushing the rules of what she was allowed to post on the platform, particularly with her Sam x Charles smut).

They are not 'indie creators' anymore and they are not exempt from criticism just because their younger fanbase mistakenly assumes them to be the same age as them. Rachel, mongie, and Snailords are all in their mid-to-late 30's. They all have merchandising deals and either have TV deals or want to have TV deals. They've all been given priority advertising by Webtoons even at the cost of undercutting all the other creators and series on the platform that need it more. They are not "scrappy" creators, they're contractual professionals now and they all do not act like it. Whether it's reacting poorly to criticism or using their characters as a mouthpiece for their own egos or even just using their comics as a poorly disguised fetish, they're all contractual professionals who do not act professional. And they're not the only webcomic creators who do this.

And again, I've talked about this before on here and in the discussions on reddit concerning LO and other webtoons, so it's incredibly validating and refreshing to see Hbomberguy put those feelings into words (albeit about Youtubers, but let's be real, Webtoons is definitely trying to be the "Youtube of webcomics", as is Tapas and other competing webtoon platforms) because that sentiment rings true for a lot of the webtoon creators who have practically failed upwards and only forgo their advertised "professional status" when they're under fire for their actions and writing. Rachel is an "award winning creator" and "self-proclaimed folklorist" until her comic is criticized for its blatant misrepresentation and disrespect towards an entire culture, then all of a sudden "it's just fanfiction". Mongie is the creator of the bestselling series Let's Play until she's called out for racist depictions of Asians and Hispanic people in her work, then all of a sudden she's "just trying to make a fun comic" that's not meant to be taken that seriously. And of course, their audience of teens and young adults who don't know any better keep forgiving them and vehemently defending them because they wrongfully assume that these creators are scrappy teens just like themselves who just started making webcomics for fun and then achieved fame and glory overnight (which they're not!)

We should be having bigger discussions about what awaits the webcomic and "content creator" industry as a whole in the future and what standards we should be holding creators and their work to. We can't possibly expect these mediums to be taken seriously as a professional industry if we don't set better expectations for the quality of the work that's being created and the creators who are building these platforms for themselves.

"In current discourse, Youtubers simultaneously present as the forefront of a new medium, creative voices that need to be taken seriously as part of the 'next generation of media'... and also 'uwu smol beans little babies who shouldn't be taken seriously when they rip someone off and make tens of thousands of dollars doing it." - Hbomberguy, "Plagiarism and You(tube)" timestamp: 3:36:18

#hbomberguy #webtoon critical #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical #let's play critical #Youtube

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on-leatheredwings · 27 days

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i can see yj!dick leaning towards the possessive aspect of being a yandere. not to say he isn’t violent… he’d print out photos of guys you talk to, hang them on a wall, and throw darts at them. maaaybe he’s a bit insecure in your relationship if you meet in the early seasons and he’s cocky and show-offish to compensate for his doubt. later though?? that boy knows you like him (who wouldn’t? he likes you more, though.) you know how he leaves the team behind a lot/goes off on his own? i feel like if you were part of the team and went on missions with them he’d only look back to make sure you were with him (still runs off when he sees you’re okay and aware, but he’s keeping an eye on you. covertly.) if you tell him that the stealthy laugh he does makes you feel safe/reassured, he definitely does it a lot more. if you’re less on the field and have a more passive position, like a doctor, he makes it a habit to get hurt more often. comes to you for the SMALLEST injuries so you can baby him. you tell him to gtfo (no you don’t cuz who could say no to him!!) he gets a scrape and comes crying to you about it he’s so silly… not sure what would happen with his canon relationships. maybe he’d still flirt and pursue relationships, but it’s definitely less genuine and more of a fill in type situation. gets broken up with once his partners realize they deserve better than someone who thinks of them as a rebound/stand-in (my true biases are showing maybe. cough zatanna cough barbara) less than a minor inconvenience to him but you better believe he runs to you every breakup, getting you to comfort him. (you turn your back for a second and his pout turns into the most sly grin ever. you turn back around and his eyes are full of unshed tears.) side note i don’t think he’s too hard to fluster early on. likes it when you get bold/assertive because he’s usually the one dropping hints lmfao. you’re still oblivious bless your heart but he’s making progress maybe? if you DO make the first move he’s speechless. (whelmed even!) not literally (unfortunately) because he never shuts up but he will be processing that for a while. side side note if you DO get with someone (cause i do usually imagine him with a reader that isn’t looking for a relationship) he’s doing background checks daily. i ALSO like to think that you know how crazy he is (not fully. but you’ve seen under his mask a few times.) besides, with yandere!dick i like to think that he eventually gets comfortable/lets you in enough to give you occasional glimpses of his lunacy (if you’re desensitized enough). if your living in gotham, you’re probably at least a little unfazed. plus, he knows how to make you agree with his views anyway. who cares if he rearranged that guys face! you didn’t see the way he was looking at you, really, it was for your own safety. don’t you trust him? he’s your robin, after all.

sorry for the paragraphs. he’s not even my favorite 😭

oh god this was a love letter to mine own heart i agree 10000%

he’d print out photos of guys you talk to, hang them on a wall, and throw darts at them.

hilarious imagery and so fucking in character help 😭

maybe he’d still flirt and pursue relationships, but it’s definitely less genuine and more of a fill in type situation. gets broken up with once his partners realize they deserve better than someone who thinks of them as a rebound/stand-in (my true biases are showing maybe. cough zatanna cough barbara)

YES!!!!! YES!!! i know some ppl may not like it but i think dick is most likely (out of the bat boys) to date around even after meeting you, but it's so empty hearted on his end

i like to think that he eventually gets comfortable/lets you in enough to give you occasional glimpses of his lunacy (if you’re desensitized enough).

HEHE i like the idea of that... i think yj!dick is def self-aware enough to kind of indulge in the darker parts of himself. as opposed to dick in other media, where it seems he has more restraint, imo. those parts still exist but he just chooses not to think about it that hard i think.

i kinda love the idea of reader seeing dick's more yandere tendencies and just writing them off like "oh~ he's just a little quirky, aren't we all!" they very much would just. either let themselves be convinced by dick or straight up gaslight themselves into doubting the depth of dick's darker side.

#ardennes' inbox #yandere batfam #if dick's not even your fave #id love to see how much you write for someone who is LMFAO #YOURE SOOOO TRUE IN EVERYTHING THO

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tokkias · 1 month

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through the lens of my fingertips ship: natsu dragneel x lucy heartfilia summary: They say that when you lose your vision, your other senses become heightened to compensate. Lucy thinks that’s true enough. Losing the sense that she has relied upon the most throughout her life proves difficult at first but that's not to say she forgets the world around her. As her fingertips graze down Natsu's jaw she paints an image in her mind that she's determined to never forget. ao3

happy birthday @shiiro-arts !! ur blind lucy au lives rent free in my mind, i hope this fic lives rent free in yours

They say that when you lose your vision, your other senses become heightened to compensate. Lucy thinks that’s true enough. She’s nowhere near Natsu’s level, but with her new reliance on her ears, she’s become adept at differentiating her guildmates based on their pace, their footsteps, their breathing.

Her improved hearing is certainly helpful, but she finds that touch is the easiest way to navigate the new world she’s found herself in. Natsu refuses to let her out of his sight for the first few months, acting as her guide, but as much as she loves him, she yearns for independence, and she’s not about to let a little lack of sight get in the way of that. She uses a cane to get around for the most part, but her hands provide her with a little more precision in situations where she needs it.

Relying on her hands so much in her new everyday life gives her a new perspective. She notices things that she wouldn’t have given much mind to when she could still see, because now it’s one of the only ways she can visualise the world around her. She notices just how plush her blankets are, her fingers running over the soft pile of the fabric, relishing in the feeling of it against her fingertips. She values the tactile elements of some of her books—the indents of the title on the cover, the raised bump of the spine, the texture of the leather binding it together. She can’t read the words held within it anymore, but it still brings her comfort to be able to differentiate and recognise them on her shelf by touch when she picks one out for Natsu to read to her.

Finding comfort in the tactile is not something she limits to her possessions and collections. The last thing she wants to do is forget the world around her, and one way she tries to prevent it is to examine it through the new lens of her fingertips.

“You’ve been using my moisturiser again,” she says.

She almost wants it to be a reprimand, but it comes out more as a statement than anything. Natsu’s face is unusually soft under her touch, but she doesn’t really mind it.

“It makes my face feel nice,” he replies, and she cannot contest.

Her hands gently cradle his jaw as she connects the shapes she feels under her palms with the image she holds of Natsu in her mind. Tan skin, strong jawline, and newly soft skin. He’s got a little bit of stubble, but not much—he thinks he looks silly with facial hair. Lucy says he looks handsome; he reminds her that she can’t even see what it looks like. She tells him that she doesn’t need to see it to know it’s true.

She brings her fingers up to his hairline, where she realises his hair is down. The corners of her lips quirk up in a smile, and she takes it as an excuse to run them through his hair. He practically purrs as she lightly drags her nails across his scalp, and it elicits a soft laugh from her.

“Is it getting longer?” She asks, noting how it seems to take longer for her to reach the tips of his hair than before.

“Yeah,” he hums in affirmation. “You think I should cut it?”

She holds pause for a moment as she tries to imagine what he looks like, his spiky, rosy hair now grown into shaggy locks.

“No, I don’t think so.”

She lightly drags her hands down until her thumbs rest on the space just below his eye. His eyes flutter closed, which she can feel in his lashes brushing against her fingers, tickling her slightly, and she takes the chance to gently run the pads of her thumbs over his eyelids. Each dip and crease is burned into her memory, pieced together to form the puzzle that is her Natsu.

She hopes that they will be together long enough that she can begin to feel each wrinkle and smile line permanently form on his face. Part of her resents the fact that she will never see him grow old, but she tries to bury that feeling by running her thumb down the bridge of his nose until she reaches the tip. Leaning forward, she places her lips against it, and she feels him scrunch his nose up in response. She knows he’s just doing it to be a pain, but even his faux-disgust elicits a laugh anyway. It’s nice being able to envision the expression he’s making from touch alone.

Fingers trailing down his face, her thumb trails down his cupids bow before resting it on his lips. He turns his head so they rest in her palm, and she feels him pucker them to press a kiss into the soft skin. She feels her face heat up in a blush, and even though she can’t see it, she can feel the corner of his lips quirk up into a smirk against her hand. Natsu’s not much of a traditional romantic, but then he does stuff like this—things that are so distinctly Natsu that she can’t help the way her heart flutters in her chest.

He brings his own hands up to cradle her face, and she leans into the warmth of his touch. His thumbs rub gentle circles on the apples of her cheeks, and she smiles into it. He’s always been an affectionate type of guy, but this intimate sort of face touching is reciprocal—something he wouldn’t have done had it not been for her initiating. There’s no real reason for him to do it when he can see every dip and crease in her face, but it’s nice to feel it, to know he’s there, to experience the same feeling he does when she does it to him. It makes her feel less alone in it all.

It’s not long before she feels his warm breath against her lips, and she knows to pucker up before feeling his against them. She doesn’t need to see to kiss him, so she just relishes in the taste of his lips and the feeling of them melding against hers. They’re a little bit chapped, but they always have been, so she doesn’t mind too much. When he finally pulls away, he rests his forehead against hers, and she’s certain that he can feel the warmth radiating from her cheeks.

“You’re blushing,” he says in observation, confirming her suspicion. He says it with a teasing tone underlying his words, and it only serves to make her flush brighter, which she suspects is his intention.

She can feel him pull away and estimate his position by the feeling of his breath against her face. Unfortunately, not even that prepares her for the ruin of their tender moment when she feels his tongue drag over her cheek and hears the proceeding cackle he lets out.

“Natsu!” She yells out. “That’s so gross!”

She wipes her cheek with her hand, her face scrunched up in disgust as he howls with laughter, and as gross as it is, the familiarity of it brings her a sense of comfort.

At least some things never change.

#nalu #natsu x lucy #fairy tail #fan fiction #mya writes things

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