#life suffering

[francisversion2]

I can't help it but feel that I am getting worse day by day. As the coldness approaches and December will be there soon.

How long has it? How long has it been since I heard your voice, your laugh ... Oh god how long has it been since I held you close.

Now you're resting under the dirt and I have to deal with the emptiness. When you were leaving you should have taken me with you.

I know I have people that love me now and I feel ungrateful for feeling this way. But I can't help it but get sad.

You're visiting my dreams again... Why?

Was there something you still needed to tell me after all that time? Or Are you trying to pull me to madness to join you in eternal sleep?

Last year it was close and by every day as the date of your death comes close and the weather starts getting cold, I don't feel confident about this time either.

Late at night I think about the thing that could drive you to the end, I think about it often if I came a little bit earlier maybe you would be here. Why didn't you tell me? Staying silent... Look what it led to...

I know you're watching from above, watching me try to live a life. Watching as I fall and get up , waiting patiently for the moment I won't get up and join you there.

You lead me through the dark like an angel guardian, leading me to the light but when I follow you I fallen in a hole. Then you leave me to fight my way out and when I come out, life goes but as soon as it reaches close to December you come back and I follow you like a blind person back to the hole.

I think about your blue eyes and that wide smile, you had it till the end. But why leave me behind?

I think about the moment when I couldn't hear your voice no more, when I beg to hear your breath softly against my ear. I begged and got nothing.

When you ended it and begged me for forgiveness while your blood spilled like red wine across your sleeve, I begged you to stay , the ambulance was on its way but you ruled out your fate before I even came.

When you took the knife against yourself, I swore to never forget. How you sound but my memories are blurry and I don't think I remember it. I remember your face since you visited me in my dreams.

When you knew what would happen after you would be gone, why didn't you take me with you.

So I could taste the freedom you tasted... And to find out was it worth it?

#spilled words #spilled thoughts #life suffering #why leave #spilled poetry #spiled ink

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins #don’t say it (I’m gonna say it) #The Child is The Price #but i mean come on #as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck #i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in #its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity #time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him #and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent #not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions #regardless of whether there is a god #for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name #atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of #and all on his and your behalf #you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too #and what's more dangerous than that?

[craftbadger]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re at a low point:

If you were a fictional man right now, there would be *at least* ten people if not a large portion of the fanbase that would call you their wet beast poor little meow meow

#whenever you’re sad you’re a blorbo #you’d be someones fucking comfort character #and they’d want to see how you grow #after the hardships you’ve suffered #romanticize yourself #romanticize your life #idk who needs to hear this #positivity #blorbo #weird positivity #textpost #relatable #weirdly inspiring

[tariah23]

The manga industry, especially JUMP, needs to hurry up and do away with weekly scheduling for mangaka. There needs to better regulations put into place for their health and safety because this is pitiful. Two weeks - monthly updates should’ve already been the standard for the manga industry at this point. These money grabbers will only continue to put the lives of these artists at stake for the sake of capitalism unless some serious changes are implemented.

#it’s just??? #at the end of the day all these people want to do is draw and write their stories and share them with the world #why is death from stress the end game for so many of them #this should not be part of the package when finally deciding that this is what you want to do with your life #rambling #I still never got over miura’s passing man #and Togashi is still here but he’s been suffering from the consequences of overwork #it’s just… all so bleak #fans just need to learn to be patient if these changes are ever made and to be respectful #your fav series is not gonna die just because you can’t get it right now #I’m glad that gege does this now like he takes a break every 2-3 chapters and that’s good #this should be normalized

[batbabydamian]

Damian adjusting to his new hairstyle in B&R 2023

#bruce wayne #damian wayne #batbabyart #every time my hair grows over my eyes i suffer #Damian going majority of his life without hair at his eyes to suddenly this fringe?? a hassle #he's wearing Nika's coffin hairclip in the second image #hairclips are great!!

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[spiderversegf]

oh btw just in case nobody ever told you. just because your life looks different than you thought it would doesn't mean that your life is bad or wrong or disappointing or less than. sometimes things aren't good or bad. sometimes they're just different

#ok to rb #just thinking a lot ab expectations n things and realizing that even tho im experiencing a Lot of suffering i can still find happiness #and even if it isn't the life i anticipated it is still MY life. there is always good in it. i will never stop searching for it #🍜 #🦠

[deadmomjokes]

PSA: tomatoes are not spicy. Tomatoes and tomato products should not be spicy. Pizza sauce isn't inherently spicy. Tomato-based pasta sauce is not spicy. Ketchup is NOT spicy.

If tomatoes are spicy, you have an allergy to tomatoes.

This announcement brought to you by my almost 29-year-old husband learning for the first time in his 2.8 decades of putting food products into his mouth that spaghetti and saucy pizza aren't spicy foods

#his amazement at our daughter eating spaghetti willingly #when apparently he's been suffering in silence over there his whole life #and i'm like ???? #and he's like ''you didn't make this spicy?'' #NO #NO I DID NOT #and he just blue screens for a minute #and i'm like YOU THINK SPAGHETTI IS SPICY??? #and he's all ''yeah that's why i prefer we don't have it very often'' #the absolute SHOCK i tell you #turns out he hates ketchup because it's spicy and he never understood why people wanted to dip fries in spicy sauce #i was like ''DUDE ketchup is supposed to be sweet and maybe a touch tangy but also cool and refreshing'' #and he's like ''SWEET?????'' #so uh yeah turns out dude's allergic to tomatoes and he just assumed everyone had a way higher spice tolerance than him #cuz he can find ''non spicy'' food too hot #and it's just all tomato based stuff and we never thought to connect the dots #mild salsa? too spicy. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #tacos? too spicy even at baby heat levels. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #prefers alfredo to marinara despite alfredo having objectively more pepper in it than marinara #he thought his spice tolerance was just so wimpy that my 'normal' was too spicy for him #so he's just been dealing with 1-3 meals a week being spicy to him our entire marriage WITHOUT SAYING A WORD #because he didn't want to offend me with his wimpy palate #IT'S THE TOMATOES #it's always been the gosh darn tomatoes

[mumblesplash]

in honor of last season’s poem being called “”end poem”” (all quotes mandatory) this season i made one out of pieces of the actual end poem

#letting me just download the minecraft font? for free? a mistake #if you or a loved one have been suffering from RED TEXT you may be entitled to compensation #my art #god at this point i really do need a writing tag don’t i #<- will continue not addressing this #secret life #goodtimeswithscar #grian #secret life spoilers #sorry tumblr user livvi3love for not making one with all the deaths again #if you (or anyone) did want to illustrate this one as well you’re more than welcome to but i am not expecting anything #i can do an explainer thing again like i did last time but that is for tomorrow #right now i am just. very tired #but for now i will confirm yes the colors Matter #i literally made this on accident against my will #i was trying to DRAW

[1982brucespringsteen]

some good news!! the spanish state's ministry of equality has finally passed one of the most progressive trans laws on the planet, shielded free and universal access to abortion and banned conversion therapy and genital surgery for intersex babies, among a lot of other feminist policies. the minister of equality irene montero gave a speech thanking spain's lgtb and trans associations for helping her draft these legislations. couldn't be more proud!!

#spain #trans #ill always prioritize queer&trans revolution over reformism but man. man these are good news #these are gonna make people's life so much more comfortable #i was lucky enough to live in andalucia where we have THEE most advanced regional legislation on trans rights #so i didnt have to fight too many people to access hrt and to change my name on legal docs #but other ppl on the spanish state have been suffering so fucking much #and yeah this law doesnt cover non binary people or migrants but the door is fucking open. its a step forward #and after this terrible terrible week #after the antitrans antisemite game & brianna's murder and so many rampant transphobia #it feels nice to get a win #to have someone in power be so unwaveringly supportive #the queer community in the spanish state is NEVER gonna forget this. never #anyways!!! #felicidades gente trans española!!!! nos vemos en el registro civil dkkskdkkdkxkdk #mine

[romansmartini]

david tennant do you want me dead.

#doctor who #in this life we were born to suffer. which i will do tenfold in two weeks. #haha get it. tenfold

[francisversion2]

LIFE RENT NUMBER... I can't remember

"How can you love someone dirty like me" were the words my lover said last Monday. We were mid make out slash cuddling and I was kissing him and he just stopped for a second not moving. Ofc I got scared it's my first relationship and I am not letting him get uncomfortable with me and I deeply care for him. But no he said the words , he looked like he was about to cry and it took me a minute... To realize what he was talking about..

TW: SA (I have permission to speak about this)

Last year , he was assaulted in the worst way possible being taken advantage of. I remember when he came home after it he didn't speak just sobbed it took me 3 hours to make him say a word but he only calmed late at night when he fell asleep.

And bc of the thing that happened to him he thinks he is dirty, marked with the awful situation that happened to him. And it broke me to see him think I would not love him...

It brought old memories to me, I was 14 when I was wearing shorts coming out of the store and a guy twice my age grabbed my butt. After that I was too scared to wear shorts and I felt marked.

And I understand how he felt how the feeling never goes away, that mark is left on you to remind you...

And no matter what you do you will always stay dirty...

It just hurts me to see him in pain if I could I would scope the pain out and fill the hole with love.

Ofc I spent the rest of the night reassuring him. I didn't mind I just wanted him to know I really did care. No matter how long it takes I would spend my last seconds of life trying to see him smile.

#life rent #life suffering #life suuuuucks #spilled words #love him

[anne-is-confused]

hear me, o patroness of girlstrugglers

#her wounded animal swag has captivated me #the terror amc #silna #lady silence #my art #she literally suffered more than jesus and for what. huh #not a day goes by when i don't think about how she was just going on about her life when she got violently dragged into these #random white men's survival horror tragedy. it's so fuckeddddd #they litchrally ruined her life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[olasketches]

two sides of the same coin

#itadori yuuji #ryomen sukuna #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #my art #jujutsu kaisen fanart #brainrot incoming (pls don’t mind me) #one thing sukuna and yuuji have in common is that they’re both absolutely miserable #sukuna is utterly selfish and yet it only made him hollow inside and now he’s just killing time waiting for death to come #yuuji is completely selfless and yet it’s only made him suffer and bc of that he’s been constantly trying to check out of life #and I think the funniest but also the most painful thing about these two is that… #despite that they’re vastly opposite they might be the only people that can understand each other the most #imagine them having a heart to heart lol maybe then they would realise some things about themselves

[angelojpeg]

REINCARNATION APPLE

#hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #benrey #benreyhlvrai #benryhlvrai #benry #go listen to reincarnation apple by pinocchiop #yeah i love symbolism. #yeah im GAY AS HELL #i love benrey . i have to make him suffer a little

[naboosands]

Every now and then Master Fisto *accidentally* lands on the Vogue Coruscant cover and the rest of the Council lose their minds

Bonus:

#i can't stick to an art style to save my life #i guess this is more comic-like #if anyone’s wondering about the aurebesh translation: #on the right: ‘kit fisto: suffering from success’ #on the left: ‘exclusive! prince lee char on the hero of mon cala: #‘he needs to drop his workout routine asap’ #kit fisto #kit fisto art #mace windu #master yoda #yoda #jedi council #star wars #sw fanart #star wars the clone wars #tcw #tcw fanart #myart