#like on the doctor’s end of things. emotionally this is still as impactful because he cannot get her back and never will. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

endcant · 9 months

Text

its almost every day that i work out and think about one incident in high school. my marching band had finally organized a block for injured/disabled kids to stretch and do yoga-like warmups instead of high impact warmups like jogging, running, and sprinting. the kids in “injury block” told me i should join bc of my asthma, and it made my practices way better.

this was because it granted me the ability to choose WHEN my asthma attacks started during rehearsal. instead of starting every rehearsal with an asthma attack, i could save my daily mandatory asthma attack for the very end of the night, when we would march our show for several minutes at a time nonstop and then be forced (not asked or permitted) to run from our instruments and grab water and run back.

weekday band rehearsals usually started around 3 and could last until 10 pm, and on weekdays i also had dance class, where i would have already gotten in my day’s serving of cardio in the form of dancing or running. so it wasn’t like running with the band was the only source of high-impact cardio jostling my lungs each day.

if i had an asthma attack at 3:15 PM, i would be woozy and sleepy and mentally and emotionally fried during the entirety of rehearsal, including blocks where we would stand still and practice the music. if i had an asthma attack at 9:50 PM however, i could get almost 7 full hours of actual high quality practicing and rehearsal in without feeling like i had half the usual amount of braincells and jello in the place of muscles. it was a huge game-changer for me as a drummer. suddenly i wasn’t making stupid mistakes that i couldn’t explain! suddenly i was able to retain new marching coordinates and exercises! suddenly i was able to march under the weight of the heaviest drums for hours without wobbling!

of course, after a couple of months of me participating in “injury block” and getting a lot out of it, our band director noticed me there and told me i needed a doctor’s note. i told him i have asthma and i have an inhaler perscription i could show him. he told me that that would be fine this week, but every rehearsal afterwards i would need a new signed and dated doctor’s note. i knew instantly that this was ridiculous and financially prohibitive. i tried to explain the asthma attack math. he did not care. so i went back to running and having asthma attacks at the beginning of each rehearsal and throughout parts of rehearsal that i now knew didn’t have to be that hard for me.

i had friends in band who would ask me on the field to chill and take a break because my asthma attacks were scaring them, but i was quick to inform them that my asthma wasn’t considered an important or serious injury or illness by the band director. it really made me bitter and i constantly found myself having out of body experiences during band in junior and senior year.

i still work out to this day and think about how few asthma attacks i have now that i am allowed to control when and how frequently i focus on high-impact exercise. and also since i no longer have to do that running on a dusty track with 100 other kids dragging their feet in front of me. i also think about how that band director was, generally speaking, the most hands-off band director i’ve ever met. he didn’t know a damn thing about marching or playing and rarely was present or tried to give us advice. his job was basically just to hire people who had specific knowledge. but still, that day, he decided to walk out on the field and specifically target me for god knows what reason and interrogate me about why i was doing yoga instead of running in circles.

i wasn’t mad about it at the time, even. i was very trusting as a kid. i’m mad about it now, though. and whenever i attend a group workout class and and the instructor tries to tell me i can cure my asthma by “pushing through”, they can be sure they’ll never see me again.

i guess part of what maddens me about it is how nearly every adult who ever taught me anything in any of the physical activities i chose to participate in treated me like i was lazy because of my asthma. and i just believed them. so i just worked harder than i should have. at the cost of my ability to actually perform well in the activity they were supposed to be instructing me in.

the incident that made me start to realize that something was wrong was when i couldnt lunge quickly for a visual move with my drum on because the drum harness fit me wrong. the drum instructors blamed it on my lack of core strength, and i believed them, even though i could feel the drums swinging and hitting my forward leg. a huge bruise-then-bump developed that was eventually visible through shorts. this did not bother me and i showed it off to friends proudly, much to their concern. one day i went to do the move and the swing of my drums knocked me right over. i don’t remember how much it hurt, but i guess i was down for awhile because a parent who volunteered with the band ran up and took my drums off of me. this guy, some other kid’s parent, saw my leg and cursed at the drum instructors for awhile until they agreed to try to fix my harness. i felt embarrassed and was certain at the time that if i had just been more firm in my core then there wouldve been no one yelling at anyone on my behalf.

i now feel bad that i let myself be so trained out of questioning why i was in pain that my drum insteuctors had to take the fall for it. i mean, the pain of that leg injury was nothing compared to having asthma attacks every time i had to rehearse with the full band.

#draftsposting

8 notes · View notes

green-blooded · 2 years

Text

I wrote this analysis of the DS9 episode The Wire 7 years ago (gosh time really does keep going doesn’t it)... And I’m still pretty proud of it, actually, so I wanted to save it from my old, inactive blog and repost it here. Please enjoy these 4,000+ words of me gushing about Garak and Bashir.

DUTY, FRIENDSHIP, AND LIES IN THE WIRE (DS9 2X22)

The Wire is one of my favorite episodes of DS9, and honestly one of my favorite episodes of anything. I see something new in it every time I watch it, and it always impacts me emotionally. So, I want to talk about it. This is going to be a very, very long post.

The episode is book-ended (no pun intended) with Garak sharing a piece of Cardassian literature with Bashir. In the opening scene, the argument between them about the Neverending Sacrifice serves to set a few thematic elements. Most apparent is a tension about Cardassian culture vs. Federation(/Human) culture, which Garak snaps at Bashir about more than once.

BASHIR: None of his characters ever really come alive, and there’s more to life than duty to the state.

GARAK: A Federation viewpoint if ever I heard one.

[…]

GARAK:When it comes to art, you’re obviously a prisoner of Federation dogma and Human prejudice.

Bashir also says that Cardassian standards for health must be lower than his own, and he also brings up Garak’s “Cardassian evasiveness” in the next scene.

So, the main cultural conflict brought up here is that Cardassians have a duty to the state above the individual, whereas Bashir holds the position that the individual is more important. That is, after all, why he didn’t like the Neverending Sacrifice; not the repetitiveness of it (epics written by Humans tend to be repetitive too), but because the characters never “come alive”, i.e. each generation has the same motivation and no individuality.

Bashir comes into conflict with Odo about their duties as well.

BASHIR: I’m afraid your questions will have to wait.

ODO: How long?

BASHIR: I don’t know yet. Constable, Garak’s body has undergone a severe shock. I don’t know when he’ll recover. I’m not even sure if he’ll recover.

ODO: In that case I want to talk to him now. Wake him up.

BASHIR: I’ll do no such thing.

ODO: Doctor, these are murder cases and Garak may be a suspect.

BASHIR: That may be so, but he’s still my patient and I won’t have him disturbed.

Bashir’s idea of duty is duty to the individual–not to the state and not to justice. So, when Garak is sick, Bashir heals him, because it is Bashir’s duty to do so regardless of what anyone else wants, including Garak himself. During a short scene with Dax, Bashir does try to eschew his duty briefly, before it becomes clear how serious Garak’s illness is.

BASHIR: Garak and I have been having lunch together once a week for more than a year now. You’d think he’d come to trust me a little.

DAX: Why should he? It’s not like you two are really friends.

BASHIR: No, of course not. I suppose when it comes right down to it, I don’t trust him either. I mean, for all I know, the man is a Cardassian spy.

DAX: Exactly.

BASHIR: Exactly. If he doesn’t want my help, that’s his prerogative.

Bashir’s reasoning here is interesting. He says that he would expect Garak to trust him, and everything in Bashir’s two previous onscreen interactions with Garak would lead the viewer to believe that Bashir trusts Garak to some extent. Hell, in Cardassians when Garak shows up in his room in the middle of the night, Bashir hardly even seems disconcerted by it, and immediately jumps on a runabout to Bajor with him. That seems to reflect some iota of trust. Also, eating lunch with someone every week and staying up late to finish a book then loaned you–a book which you don’t even enjoy!–seemes to be a sign of friendship, but when Dax says they aren’t friends, Bashir laughs at the idea. It should be noted, however, that he can’t maintain eye contact with Dax when he says this and has to look away.

We see some underlying anger/frustration as well when he stabs Jadzia’s sick plant.

He also connects Garak being a possible spy to the reason he doesn’t trust Garak or consider him a friend. No, not just a spy, a Cardassian spy. It’s been made clear in the series up to this point that there is prejudice against Cardassians on the station–understandably so given why the station exists in the first place. It’s also been made clear that Bashir wants to be liked by everyone, so I can’t help but wonder if he downplays his friendship with Garak to avoid the confrontations he might have with others, particularly Miles O'Brien, whom he works at being friends with particularly hard and who has a particular hatred of Cardassians. Note that he never tells O'Brien why he’s asking for access to Cardassian medical files, only that two or three weeks is too long to wait for them.

On the other hand, a character who is much more friendly with Cardassians, Quark, knows that Bashir is the one to call when Garak is on his third bottle of kanar. Now you’d think that he’d call security. I mean, that’s the normal thing to do when someone is out of hand at a bar, but he calls Bashir. I don’t see any other reason he’d do this aside from knowing Bashir is Garak’s only friend on the station. So perhaps Bashir doesn’t hide his friendship with Garak as much around Quark, who wouldn’t think less of him for having a Cardassian friend.

However, in the end, Bashir only admits aloud that he is Garak’s friend to Tain

TAIN: I thought you were his friend.

BASHIR: I suppose I am.

(My opinion is that Bashir is not actively hiding that he and Garak are friends, but that he does it subconsciously, even hiding it from himself to an extent.)

In any case, it’s lucky that the one friend Garak has on the station is the chief medical officer, because it turns out he needs one of those. There’s a lot made out of the following exchange in which Bashir attempts to trick a drunk Garak into going to the infirmary.

BASHIR: I think it’s a little noisy in here. I prefer to drink somewhere quiet.

GARAK: An excellent idea. We’ll go to my quarters.

BASHIR: Whatever you want. But first I must make a stop at the Infirmary.

GARAK: The Infirmary? My dear Doctor, what kind of fool do you take me for?

This makes me curious about whether or not Bashir has ever been to Garak’s quarters. It seems to me that Bashir would’ve shown some amount of surprise at the invitation if he’d never been there before. Garak is a private person, so there is again more friendliness there than Bashir is ready to admit.

Bashir does end up in Garak’s quarters later on (and he doesn’t seem unfamiliar with the place), and learns more about Garak’s situation.

GARAK: My dear Doctor, I have no intention of putting myself on display for the amusement of the Bajoran inhabitants of this station.

And later…

GARAK: Living on this station is torture for me, Doctor. The temperature is always too cold, the lights always too bright. Every Bajoran on the station looks at me with loathing and contempt. So one day I decided I couldn’t live with it anymore, and I took the pain away.

It matters to Garak that he’s surrounded by Bajorans who hate him and want to see him in pain. Bashir calls it pride, which is probably part of it. Being hated itself can’t be what’s bothering him, because having been part of the Obsidian Order, he must be used to that. I would suggest that Garak’s love of his homeland is such that seeing the contempt from Bajorans, and knowing why they hate Cardassians so much, is where a majority of his stress is coming from.

Regardless, this is about the time Garak starts telling his stories about Elim. Let’s take this part of the conversation in pieces.

GARAK: Has it ever occurred to you that I might be getting exactly what I deserve?

BASHIR: No one deserves this.

GARAK: Oh, please, Doctor. I’m suffering enough without having to listen to your smug Federation sympathy. Do you think because we have lunch together once a week, you know me? You couldn’t even begin to fathom what I’m capable of.

Again, Garak brings up the fact that Bashir is Federation. We know a little of how the Cardassian legal system works at this point, and that punishment and unfailing justice are key for the Cardassian public. The Federation, on the other hand, does the whole innocent until proven guilty thing. Garak knows that, and so he comes up with a story that will prove he’s guilty.

BASHIR: I’m a doctor. You’re my patient. That’s all I need to know.

GARAK: Wrong again. You need to know who you’re trying to save. During the occupation, I was a Gul in the Cardassian Mechanized Infantry. We were stationed just outside the Bajoran Capital. Shortly before the withdrawal, a handful of Bajoran prisoners escaped from my custody. My aide, a man named Elim, tracked them to a Cardassian shuttle about to depart for Terok Nor. Elim got aboard, but the captain refused to let him search the ship, because he claimed he was under strict orders from Gul Dukat to depart immediately. So I had the shuttle destroyed, killing the escapees, Elim, and ninety seven Cardassian civilians.

Bashir reaffirms that his duty is to heal the individual, not to be concenred with any bigger picture, and so Garak tells Bashir a crime that seems tailor made (ha ha) to drive Bashir away. He killed 97 of his own people for a reason he must know is not one that Bashir would accept. Bashir made clear at the very beginning of this episode that he didn’t believe in living for nothing but duty to the state, and so Garak tells him a story in which he acts on orders alone, as he says…

BASHIR: You can’t be serious.

GARAK: I followed my orders. None of those prisoners escaped off of Bajor alive. Unfortunately as it turned out, one of the passengers on the shuttle was the daughter of a prominent military official. I was stripped of my rank and commission, and exiled from Cardassia. So now you know, Doctor. I hope I haven’t shattered too many of your illusions.

Not only does the story paint Garak as someone who mindlessly follows orders, but the reason for his exile is dull. It’s purely politics. It’s not the kind of thing that Bashir could romanticize the way he romanticizes the idea of Garak being a spy. From Garak’s point of view, there is nothing that Bashir should still be holding onto as a reason to save his life. The story doesn’t matter, though. Not when it comes to Bashir’s duty.

Also notice that, for a moment after Garak finishes the story, neither of them are able to look at each other until Bashir tells Garak to listen to him.

BASHIR: Listen to me, Garak. Right now I’m not concerned with what you did in the past. I’m simply not going to walk out of here and let you die.

Garak gives in at that point, and his withdrawal from the endorphins begins. We’ve seen Garak in pain and frustrated, but we don’t see him angry until this point. When he wakes up, Bashir goes over to him and sits next to him.

BASHIR: Garak?

GARAK: Leave me alone.

BASHIR: I don’t think that would be a good idea right now. Your blood chemistry is severely imbalanced. You need to rest.

GARAK: Don’t touch me.

BASHIR: Just calm down.

GARAK: I don’t want to be calm, Doctor. I’ve been calm long enough. Look at this place. It’s pathetic. To think that this is what my life has been reduced to. This sterile shell, this prison.

Garak is pushing Bashir away at this point, telling him to get away from him more forcefully than he ever has. You can see the violence building right away, and you can tell it’s not going to go well as soon as he knocks down the vase. This violent act is connected to his line about “This sterile shell, this prison.” His phrasing is curious. What, exactly, does he consider sterile? The station is a Cardassian-built station. Sure, there have been some changes as far as temperature and lighting, but everything else is stll pretty much Cardassian–just compare the way DS9 looks compared to the Enterprise. What about it is sterile compared to wherever he would live on Cardassia? Perhaps it’s living on a station rather than on land. Perhaps he means in a figurative way, as in the sterile ethics of the Federation as opposed to the… shall we say challenging ethics of the Obsidian Order.

Moving on, in the midst of trying so hard to push Bashir away, Garak revises his story.

GARAK: Stop them? I only wish that I had stopped them.

BASHIR: You didn’t?

GARAK: No, Doctor, my disgrace was worse than that. Unimaginably worse.

BASHIR: What could you have possibly done worse than that?

GARAK: I let them go. It was the eve of the Cardassian withdrawal. Elim and I were interrogating five Bajorans. They were children, Doctor. None of them were older than fourteen years old. They knew nothing. They lived in bombed-out rooms, scrounged for food on the streets. They were filthy and they stank. The room was freezing cold, the air was like ice, and suddenly the whole exercise seemed utterly meaningless. All I wanted was a hot bath and a good meal. So I let them go. I gave them whatever latinum I had in my pockets, and opened the door, and flung them back into the street. Elim couldn’t believe his eyes. He looked at me as if I were insane.

BASHIR: You took pity on those children. There’s nothing wrong with that.

GARAK: No! I was a fool! I should’ve finished the interrogation and turned them over to the troops for execution. But because I was chilly and my stomach was growling, I failed in my duty and destroyed everything I had worked for.

The revision to the story at first seems peculiar. At the moment when he seems to want Bashir to leave him alone the most, he tells a much more sympathetic story, which is far more likely to tug on his Federation heartstrings.

But the story isn’t about Garak, it’s about Bashir.

There are a few parallels in this story to the events of the episode. Garak mentions being cold, which is also something he said was a problem on the station. He also says that the “exercise seemed utterly meaningless”–that is, his duty to the state seemed useless. Because he no longer felt that loyalty to the state in that moment, he saved the lives of the Bajoran children, and ruined his own life.

Garak is, in his way, warning Bashir off. In this story, Garak has mercy on some pathetic Bajorans, and he suffers for it. The message, or one of the messages, is that Bashir will suffer for his own mercy on Garak.

The warning doesn’t work.

GARAK: And left me to live out my days with nothing to look forward to but having lunch with you.

BASHIR: I’m sorry you feel that way. I thought you enjoyed my company.

GARAK: I did. And that’s the worst part. I can’t believe that I actually enjoyed eating mediocre food and staring into at your smug, sanctimonious face. I hate this place and I hate you.

It’s hard to miss (unless you’re Bashir apparently) that Garak says the only thing he has to look forward to is his lunches with Bashir, which are only once per week. (Also that he was staring into his face, but I’ll leave that be for this post.) Smug is a callback to “smug Federation sympathy” at the beginning of the episode. So, when he calls his face smug here, he’s referring to two things–that he’s Federation rather than Cardassian, and that he’s showing him sympathy. So, yeah, there are some layers here. Garak has nothing else going on in his life that he enjoys except spending time with Bashir, even after he started the endorphins (which appears to be before or around the same time that they met). At the same time, Bashir is part of a Federation with which Garak has little in common. Bashir, although he’s more open minded than others in some ways, strongly believes that his set of morals and beliefs are correct, and judges Garak by those standards. Of course, Garak does that right back toward Bashir, but Garak doesn’t have the support of other Cardassians to reassure him the way Bashir has other Starfleet officers. Spending so much time with Bashir, and enjoying it, is another step away from Cardassia and his Cardassian identity. For someone who has justified a lot of bad things he’s done by calling himself a patriot and a true believer in the superiority of Cardassia, that little step must be terrifying. Bashir makes him question things he doesn’t want to question.

So, he finally attacks Bashir, finally showing a pure and intense emotion without any artifice between himself and Bashir, before having another seizure and ending up in the infirmary where he will tell the third story.

But first.

GARAK: I won’t allow it. I never want that thing turned on again.

BASHIR: I understand how you feel, but I’m not sure what else I can do for you.

GARAK: You’ve done enough, Doctor. More than I deserve. There’s something you have to know.

BASHIR: What’s that?

GARAK: The truth.

BASHIR: I’ve about given up on learning the truth from you, Garak.

GARAK: Don’t give up on me now, Doctor.

This is the second time Garak has mentioned not deserving Bashir’s help, but he’s finally stopped pushing Bashir away. Andrew Robinson’s delivery of that last line is intense, probably even more emotionally honest than the physical attack, because this is an emotion for Bashir, and his anger was only projected onto Bashir.

And so, here comes the story.

GARAK: Now listen carefully. Elim wasn’t my aide. He was my friend. We grew up together. We were closer than brothers. For some reason, Enabran Tain took a liking to us. Before long, we were both powerful men in the Obsidian Order. They called us the Sons of Tain. Even the Guls feared us. And then there was a scandal. Someone in the Order was accused of letting some Bajoran prisoners escape. There were constant rumors of who was going to be implicated. Fingers were being pointed at me. By then Tain had retired to the Arawath Colony. He couldn’t protect me, so I panicked. I did everything in my power to make sure that Elim was accused instead of me. I altered records, planted evidence, only to discover that he’d beaten me to it.

BASHIR: He betrayed you first?

GARAK: Elim destroyed me. Before I knew what was going on, I was sentenced to exile. And the irony is, I deserved it. Oh, not for the reasons they claimed, but because of what I had tried to do to Elim, my best friend.

Obviously there are a few things in this story that we know are true-ish after watching the rest of the series. Garak was in the Obsidian Order, and he’s the son of Tain.

It’s also true that Tain is in the Arawath Colony–which is part of the reason Garak’s telling the story. It’s not exactly that he wants to be saved, but that he knows Bashir wants so badly to save him. Tain points out that saving Garak’s life is not kind, and instead is prolonging his punishment (i.e. his exile). Obviously Bashir doesn’t agree, but Garak certainly seems to. So, he doesn’t say it directly, but he does say it.

There’s more to the story than giving Bashir the key to finding Garak’s cure, though. This revision makes the story nearly unrecognizable. It’s no longer about trying to get Bashir away from him, either by trying to revolt him with his horrible crimes, or to show him the downsides of mercy. This time, he’s appologizing and acknowledging their friendship in a very Garak sort of way. He doesn’t directly call Bashir a friend, but the story shows he treasures friendship, and that betraying a friend is a crime worthy of the worst kind of punishment. And, as you might do after an apology, he asks for forgiveness.

BASHIR: Why are you telling me this, Garak?

GARAK: So that you can forgive me. Why else? I need to know that someone forgives me.

BASHIR: I forgive you for whatever it is you did.

GARAK: Thank you, Doctor. That’s most kind.

Considering that Garak has said multiple times that he deserves the punishment he’s received, the exile, the pain, and perhaps death, it’s clear that he doesn’t forgive himself. It’s also clear that Bashir is the only one who could give such an open-ended forgiveness and be believed. He’s proven it throughout the ordeal. No matter how hard Garak tried to push him away, Bashir was there for him, not only to help him recover physically but to listen to him, and believing him every time even though he knows Garak lies.

I’ve seen some imply that Garak and Bashir’s friendship shouldn’t work because Bashir is so naive, but Garak doesn’t need someone as cunning as he is. He doesn’t need someone with the same values as he has. He doesn’t need someone who will enjoy Cardassian literature. He needs someone who is willing to listen to him and talk with him. And whether he likes it or not, if anything their cultural differences help them engage with each other, because they’re both willing to hear the other person’s side… even if they’re not willing to admit that they agree with any of it.

Once Garak is healed, we see them return to their routine of the weekly lunch and their cultural exchange. Garak gives Bashir another bit of Cardassian literature which might be more to his taste. Bashir will read it, as evidenced by him not wanting the ending ruined, just as he read the Neverending Sacrifice. The episode ends with one of Garak’s most famous lines.

BASHIR: You know, I still have a lot of questions to ask you about your past.

GARAK: I’ve given you all the answers I’m capable of.

BASHIR: You gave me answers, all right, but they were all different. What I want to know is of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren’t?

GARAK: My dear Doctor, they’re all true.

BASHIR: Even the lies?

GARAK: Especially the lies.

Why especially the lies? It’s more than a clever turn of phrase. Tain says that Garak “never tells the truth when a lie will do.” As much as this episode focuses on the friendship between Garak and Bashir, they spend very little time expressing anything to each other directly. Bashir shows that he cares by healing Garak and forgiving him, but he hardly says anything directly to Garak. He doesn’t say that he doesn’t want him to die, only that he won’t let him. In a lot of ways, Bashir is as emotionally closed off as Garak is, and it’s only the extreme pain that Garak’s in that allows him to express anything toward Bashir.

Garak tells the lies because if he expresses his guilt about what he did for the Obsidian Order, that would undermine his belief in duty to the state above all else. If he expresses his fondness for Bashir, it’s making a connection with someone who isn’t a Cardassian. He has to tell his forbidden thoughts through lies which fit the narrative of Cardassian ethics–through storytelling. The exchange of literature framing this episode is not incidental. Bashir listens to Cardassian fiction every time he sits down to lunch with Garak, because they’re stories that Garak needs to tell to get to the truth.

#ds9 #star trek #garak #bashir #garashir #st ds9 #star trek ds9 #deep space nine #julian bashir #elim garak

138 notes · View notes

denimbex1986 · 6 months

Text

'Doctor Who writer Phil Ford opens up about "The Waters of Mars" fourteen years later and reveals why David Tennant's penultimate Tenth Doctor story remains one of the show's scariest episodes to date. The 2009 special starred Tennant as the Doctor, alongside Eternals' Gemma Chan, Dune's Shanon Duncan-Brewster, and Andor's Joplin Sibtain as member of the crew on the first Human colony on Mars. In "The Waters of Mars," the Doctor arrives at the doomed Bowie Base One, forcing him to question what he can do as a time traveler.

While Tennant's return is imminent for Doctor Who's 60th-anniversary specials, Ford sat down with RadioTimes.com to reflect on his contribution to the actor's initial run and why it features one of the Tenth Doctor's most terrifying moments. When discussing what makes the show scary for audiences young and old, the writer stated that many viewers had spoken to him about their appreciation for "The Waters of Mars" before citing it as a personal favorite and explaining how showrunner Russell T Davies aided him in achieving a perfect level of terror for young audiences. Check out Ford's full explanation below:

"I'm not so sure that it's moved away from that so much, I have no doubt that there will be another Doctor Who story coming down the road that will be every bit as scary, if not more than The Waters of Mars. I think scaring kids is what I've always enjoyed doing! Whether it's in Doctor Who or Sarah Jane [Adventures]... I think Russell put it to me a long time ago that it's OK to scare kids, what you don't want to do is terrify them and scar them!

I've met at conventions an awful lot of kids that admitted they were scared by The Waters of Mars, but not so much to traumatise them! They loved it because it's scary.

The Waters of Mars, from my point of view, was always going to be scary because that's what I like to do. I think the team around Doctor Who then and now is just so good at what it does, I think we all have confidence in each other in knowing just how far we can go.

And certainly, whenever I went too far, I knew Russell was going to pull me up on something... my memory of Russell is not so much hauling me back on The Waters of Mars, but on other episodes, him pushing me harder to make things even scarier and even bleaker in some cases! Which is just wonderful, because he has this amazing opinion – and talent to back it up – that really there is no story you can't tell for kids. It's just a question of how you tell that story."

What Makes "The Waters of Mars" David Tennant's Most Scary Doctor Who Story

Tennant's initial Doctor Who tenure had no shortage of standout terrifying episodes that still rank high among the franchise's darkest moments. These episodes range from the Weeping Angels' terrifying debut in "Blink," the unstoppable mimicking menace of "Midnight"'s still an unseen entity, and the gradually worsening bleak what-if scenarios of Donna's alternate timeline in "Turn Left". Despite these story moments, "The Waters of Mars" stands out as the already-overpowering Flood virus is superseded in scariness towards the end by the Tenth Doctor himself, as the show's main hero loses himself.

After grappling with his role in the universe, the Tenth Doctor casts aside every lesson he learned and changes history by saving them, declaring himself as the sole being who could change the Laws of Time. Left with the knowledge that these events should have never happened and would impact her loved ones' fates, Bowie Base One's captain, Adelaide Brook (Duncan), sacrifices herself despite the Doctor rescuing her, leaving him emotionally shattered. "The Water of Mars" isn't just a scary Doctor Who story because of its monsters, but for how far the Doctor falls, as well as showing the negative impact his actions can have on the universe should he ever give in to his darker sides.

While the following adventure, "The End of Time," may overshadow Tennant's other 2009 Doctor Who specials, "The Waters of Mars" stands out for how far it pushes the show's leading character. Rather than relying on monsters, the Tenth Doctor going too far leaves a greater impact by breaking the hero and twisting him into a barely recognizable figure. As such, it is understandable why Ford and viewers continue to rate the Tenth Doctor's penultimate adventure as one of the character's darkest stories.'

#Phil Ford #The Waters of Mars #David Tennant #The End of Time #Russell T. Davies #Gemma Chan #Shanon Duncan-Brewster #Joplin Sibtain #60th Anniversary #Blink #Midnight #Donna Noble #Turn Left #Adelaide Brook

5 notes · View notes

myloversgone · 1 year

Text

Welcome, 2023

A/N: This a very long and personal post. It’s not a fluffy, smutty fic, unfortunately (even though I have lots of those in my WIPs folder). Soon, I’m hoping to be able to fully come back to this space I love and cherish so much. I just felt like I needed to organize my thoughts and feelings first, and tumblr is a safe space for me to do that. If you read it, thank you. If you don’t, no worries, I don’t expect someone to do so. This post is more for myself anyways.

2022 was the craziest year of my life.

And I’m not prone to craziness. I don’t seek adventure, I’m very practical and safe. Boring, if you will.

So all the challenges (except for one), came to me without my agreement. I was sure I was in control of everything, and the past year showed me I’m definitely not.

At the beginning of the year, I went through major changes at work, including a new boss, and it required me to change my own behavior, completely against my will, in order to keep my job. It was hard and it went against my principles, but I didn’t have a choice at the moment.

Then I got sick and, after a long and exhausting period of going through tests and doctors, I had to go through surgery. It was supposed to be a very simple procedure, but it ended up in a series of complications that crushed me, physically and emotionally.

In the meantime, my family was (and still is) facing financial problems, and, because of that, their quality of life took a big step back, which was very frustrating to me, and even more for my mom and dad.

While all of that was happening, I was trying to prepare for the challenge I’ve chosen to go through: moving to another country, something I wished and dreamed about for as long as I can remember. For that, I had the unfailing support of my wonderful family, my previous boss, and my closest friends. But that decision was major, a long-term one, and I made it thinking about a future that is still way far ahead.

My country couldn’t offer me better job opportunities, mostly for political (Bolsonaro can go fuck himself and die) and economic reasons, and I was very unhappy in my uncomfortable confort zone. So, thinking about a better future for myself and for my parents, I moved not only to a different country, but to a different continent.

It was so hard. By the time I thought I would be organizing myself for the change, I was recovering from my disease, and, at a certain point, I thought I wouldn’t even be able to move, because nor me or the doctors had a precise answer for how long it would take for me to feel better. But I managed to recover, slowly.

After a very bumpy and complicated arrival at this new place, for the first month or so, all I could do was think I’ve made the wrong decision and wished to go back home. I would cry every single day, punishing myself for not being able to overcome this and live the dream I always worked so hard to accomplish.

Then, as if things weren’t hard enough, one of my dogs got sick and died. My dogs are the most precious things in my life. I love them unconditionally and with my entire heart. To be completely honest with you, sometimes I miss them more than I miss my parents.

When I heard the news about my dog passing, the first thing I did (after crying my eyes out) was search for plane tickets to go back home. My dad was suffering a lot, because the dog who died was his favorite, his best friend for the past 9 years. He rescued her and took care of her when she got sick, so the impact on him was huge. And, for me, not being able to be there for him was incredibly difficult.

But I realized there was nothing I could do. Going back home wouldn’t bring her back, and I didn’t want to give my dad another reason to worry about me.

So I stayed. Despite money issues, language barriers, insecurities, loneliness, I stayed. I doubted I would be able to do that (I still do), and I felt like nobody here liked me or wanted me around. The last time I had this need of belonging, I think it was during elementary school. I was afraid I would be alone for the holidays.

But then, I found a group of people that are in the same situation. They also have doubts and fears, they feel lonely and homesick too. And we bonded and celebrated Christmas and the New Year together.

Well, now 2022 is finally over. Major changes came, for me personally, for the people around me, for my country - fortunately. I feel like things are finally starting to get better (even to write that makes me afraid and doubtful). I still search for stability, for connection, and for the means to be able to come back to my old self.

I wish 2023 can bring me some of that. I’m trying.

Happy New Year everyone! Love to you all!

#personal

13 notes · View notes

sextonsharpwinhalstead · 2 years

Note

Hi, I don't know if you are continuing to see Grey's Anatomy, but if it’s yes, I'd wanna say you a thing. After 18 season a lot of things are changed, and about this, what do you think? Are there many characters that you'd like to see again? Who? Why?

I'm still watching Grey's and will continue to, onto what is being rumored as their last season. I stopped watching Private Practice, I just need a break those people are terrible.

A TON has changed since the show's debut Meredith is the only original surgical resident left from the start along with Bailey and Webber everyone else is gone. I think Cristina and Derek's departures really changed the show. I know she will never come back but I would love to see Cristina show up for maybe one or two episodes at the end. Cristina was so damn brilliant and her and Alex were some of Meredith's friends who actually understood her in a way that feels foreign with Maggie and Amelia. A lot of the characters I want to see again are dead. I like when they bring Addison in, she makes Greys feel like itself again. I also wouldn't mind Tuck popping in for drama sake lol.

The show was really good, very impactful, when it first started and I think that with time some things got a little soapy, repetitive, and also a little unbelievable.

Meredith having one half-sister when her father started another family after the demise of her parents relationship was one thing but when Meredith went away and they coincided her surprise pregnancy with memories of her mother's "surprise pregnancy" and shoehorned in Maggie I was like...huh. I think at the time when I watched it I was still so emotionally caught up in Derek's death that I didn't really critique the story the way I normally would've.

Also I liked some of the one-off-what-if episodes, like the alternate reality where Meredith was engaged to Alex and she was all peppy and he was cheating behind her back with Izzy and Addison was pregnant and still married to Derek but probably pregnant with Mark's baby, that was fun. A kind of jump-the shark moment was the musical episode. It wasn't bad, but like shows like the Magicians and Buffy can get away with having musical episodes because their shows are based in the supernatural. When Grey's did it, especially after the major car wreck Callie and Arizona got in it undercut this extremely serious and dramatic plot so they could start singing...

Now I feel like everyone is falling in love with their good friends, fighting and critiquing whether they should be together at all even when they seem happy. They wrote some of the stories into oblivion and I swear after answering an ask a few weeks ago about my favorite ships I realized Grey's has had an ongoing trope with doctors and patients being in relationships. Henry and Teddy, Izzy and Denny, Stephanie and Kyle, Alex and Rebecca/Ava etc.

I would love it if they finished the show off with everyone actually happy, moving towards happiness and fulfillment. That would be a nice change of pace!

#greys anatomy #greys antony #ask sextonsharpwinhalstead

7 notes · View notes

moonglittering · 1 year

Note

🍇 : how would my muse describe their childhood? how much has it impacted the person they are now, or will become as an adult? around what age did they or will they start to mature, and why? do they wish to go back to their days as a child, or have they embraced adulthood?

✨ anonymous. meme. still accepting!

if u asked vi about his childhood i think he’d pass out from thinking too hard about it, because it’s so repressed that it now kind of appears just like. … a big ink splotch with no shape lol. he can’t remember anything notable except how he kept himself busy and being constantly hounded by doctors. and screaming for his mother and being ignored by her. also getting bullied horribly

there’s happy memories but most of them kind of melt together in a mush. being a mostly nonverbal child with explosive anger problems and other emotional issues would’ve ruined him if he wasn’t so determined to shake a lot of that shit off in his early twenties...

there’s a lot to be said about the trauma children endure when they’re not heard because they can’t get their thoughts across. or the method that they use to express themselves is met with anger or frustration. and virote hasn’t found a way to talk about it in words that make sense in his mind, but he’s figuring it all out. he’ll have the words one day. and it does play a hand in why virote struggles emotionally at times or he has inappropriate responses in certain situations. like the jokes are that virote’s a little too cool in how he responds to danger, pressure, et cetera but a lot of that is due to the fact that his years as a little kid trying to sort out basic social and emotional cues and fell very, very behind in that regard.

when you’re growing up and the adults around you are supposed to meet your needs but just end up mad at you because you’re still figuring shit out, it’s a kind of hurt that lasts. and virote’s still feeling that to his day. but like he said… he’s forgiven. he’ll never forget, however.

vi can’t tell you a single thing from his childhood except that he really liked gymnastics class and ballet and drawing alone in his room.

i’d say he started maturing when he was about nineteen? that’s when life REALLY dropped him on his ass and shit went suuuuper left for him in the worst way, so he had no choice but to mature a little more.

he loves being an adult. he can’t miss a childhood he can’t remember that well.

#🌙 ABOUT! LET'S MEET ON A MOONLIT PATH.#anonymous #/ :( yea.

1 note · View note

besidesitstoowarm · 5 months

Text

"Turn Left" thoughts

yeah, sorry, i still don't get the appeal of this one. i'm probably biased because i'm currently relistening to the adventure zone "the eleventh hour" which does have my favorite usage of the "what could've been" situation that happened in this one (and listening to the destruction of phandolin is very emotionally impactful). this one? idk. yep, a lotta bad stuff would happen if the doctor died. i could've told you that

i guess the only thing it established was donna's importance? but honestly we kind of already knew that, the doctor's "there's too many coincidences around you" moment was really just saying it out loud. i guess we know now that she's the most important woman in all of creation but this felt like quite the scenario for her to learn that. this was basically this season's "utopia" i guess where it isn't part of the finale but introduces elements that lead us into it. the difference is that the story of "utopia" on its own is really interesting to me, the characters memorable, the setting unique. this was just. wow living in england sucks when the doctor isn't there. yeah i know

so we open on a planet that makes me want to do this

because it feels just so fucking racist. gotta be up there with that episode of sherlock

so here's a brief rundown on all the shit that sucks once the doctor dies. "bad wolf" theme plays over his dead body and rose briefly appears to talk to donna. the hospital goes to the moon and both martha and sarah jane die there. rose warns donna to get out of london next christmas and wilf has his iconic "no i shan't it's christmas" moment as the titanic explodes the entire city and they have to move to leeds. radiation covers the whole south of england. the bees are still disappearing. torchwood team blows up the sontaran ship but dies in the process. rose tells donna she's the most important woman in creation. "england for the english" and immigrants are put into labor camps, which makes wilf cry. all the stars are going out

rose takes donna to... unit? i didn't pay attention sorry. the tardis is there and donna has a creepy beetle on her back and catherine tate's acting is so good this scene. she thinks the bug is what's making her seem important but rose insists they're separate entities and that donna's specialness has been apparent since the day she was born. she's been dead since the beginning i've been SAYING

the music cue over donna deciding to help rose switch universes is very familiar but i can't remember what it is, it plays at the end of "journey's end" or "the end of time" i'm sure of it. foreshadowing again. donna goes back in time and kills herself to cause a traffic jam so that her other self, in the regular timeline, turns left the way she should have. rose whispers two words to donna to pass on to the doctor which are, naturally, "bad wolf" and when she tells them to him, he flips the fuck out and says they mean "the end of the universe"

yeah this felt like it was necessary to set up "stolen earth" but i really couldn't have cared less about it, tbh. i have no real beef with it, it just felt... 90% unnecessary. it tells us something we already could have guessed easily so that it can shoehorn in the information that donna is super important to saving every universe. i'm glad we have that information now let's let something happen

#doctor who #besides its too rewatch #dw s4 #Turn Left

0 notes

sallysellsseashellssundays · 1 year

Text

Disclaimer: This post is going to be Anti Moffat for anyone who’s reading and is a fan you’ve been warned.

“The Curse of the Black Spot” is the third episode and I enjoyed it for the most part.

The Good: I simply adore PoTC so having a pirate storyline immediately piqued my interest. Amy having her Elizabeth Swann moment was so cute and I’m going to ignore the fact that Amy has no sword training but was still doing pretty good against pirates lol. Amy/Rory relationship please always be like this I loved them both in this episode, they had some great lines and moments. The Doctor being wrong and figuring things out along with us always makes for an entertaining situation. Eleven blowing on the siren medallion had me laughing so much there’s some things Matt does that remind me a bit of Chris’ goofier moments and I quite like those reminders. The pirates becoming space pirates was so WTF in the funniest way, ok DW give me silliness hahaha

The Bad: Toby cutting the man was unnecessary and horrible, he’d already been told of the dangers of cuts at least Amy did it without realizing earlier. I liked the interactions between the captain and the Doctor but it was yet another reminder that Eleven doesn’t interact much with his own companions. I’ve seen him spend more time with Kazran, Canton and the captain now than Amy and Rory! And there’s always a weird undercurrent of the Doctor ignoring Rory, I’ve been noticing it since the first episode and it seemed a bit more obvious here when he says goodnight only to Amy it feels super rude. Also, it’s such a huge pet peeve of mine when they show CPR on shows/films because they never bother to show it being done properly but that was me being nitpicky.

The Worst: I know they wanted to pull at our heartstrings with Rory needing to be resuscitated, but you’re telling me there actually isn’t some futuristic medbay with fancy equipment aboard the TARDIS that could have saved him, it really had to be CPR??? I thought the other ship and the siren being a doctor was pretty interesting but the emotional impact we were supposed to feel at the end fell flat IMO.

The Unresolved: The man that was cut by Toby wasn’t mentioned again and he wasn’t shown being “killed”, he just wasn’t in the powder room anymore when they returned. Still wondering what’s going on with the pregnant or not pregnant storyline, hmmm....

Honorable sad mention to the Doctor saying a virus from “our” planet, it seemed like he was saying he was from Earth which I imagine he sees as his new home now 😭 😭 I guess I was wrong before when I thought Amy and Rory weren’t full time companions maybe at the start of the series I they were just taking a break. I’m sad Amy was convinced not to tell the Doctor, I feel like this goes back to “The Beast Below” episode when he was upset she made a decision for him.

Overall I thought it was fun, not the best not the worst, but decently entertaining. The ending was a bit meh for me emotionally. I don’t mind having what other people would call “filler” episodes sometimes it’s nice to watch something that feels like it’s just there. Haha I feel like that’s a backhanded compliment but I thought it was fun!

#doctor who #anti moffat #moffat salt #my ramblings #dw watch #moffat didn't write the episode but i'm going to keep the anti tags just in case #since it's from his era #anti eleven #anti eleventh doctor #the curse of the black spot

1 note · View note

demonslayedher · 3 years

Text

Kanao: Did Tanjiro Give Her A Weakness?

Kanao already reached the Tsuchinoto rank (5th of 10) within about 1.5 months* of passing the Final Selection but then only progressed to Hinoto (7th of 10) over the following 10 months or so.* Why the slow-down? I've got a handful of possible ideas but no indication of if any of them would be true. *(According to my timeline estimates.)

In the extra chapter in Volume 7 about all the suffering in Kanao's past, Kanao snaps. All of a sudden, she stops feeling anything. She doesn't think for herself at all, only doing things as she's told.

According to the Taisho Secret at the end of Chapter 163, Kanao learned Flower Breathing by observation, though neither Kanae or Shinobu approved of this. She entered the Final Selection without permission. Although, as Tanjiro puts it, the voice of Kanao's heart is very small, Kanao had a growing sense that she couldn't forgive demons for how they orphaned her housemates and took Shinobu's parents, sister, and Tsuguko from her. Straight from Word of God-touge, fighting demons is Kanao's will. However, Shinobu at first worries that it's not really something Kanao felt that deeply about, and admonishes her simply to not falter or overthink things, and just cut off demon's heads. I suspect she declared Kanao her Tsuguko immediately as a means of keeping an eye on her, and that she had to enforce a professional distance that she otherwise never would had wanted to impose on Kanao. I suspect that Kanao did not only observe Kanae; Shinobu may very well have had other Flower Breath users among her Tsuguko. We don't know how involved the Tsuguko were in the Butterfly Mansion household; I suspect there was a bit of professional emotional distance, seeing as how Kanao goes from referring to Shinobu as her sister to referring to her as her master. None of the other Butterfly Mansion girls ever use such close terms of endearment to Shinobu. Although Kanao did enter the Corp of her own accord (feeling nothing, except perhaps "demons are bad, I should get rid of them"), she still is in a pretty broken, unfeeling state. When she's not on missions or training, she's content to sit somewhere and stare off into the sun (Kanao, your eyes, take care of your precious eyes!!). And since she doesn't need to think about anything besides cutting off demon heads, and she doesn't mind any fear or suffering, she probably goes about her missions in a manner similar to how Muichiro did in that whirlwind two-month journey to becoming a Pillar. The "I don't care (but actually I just hate you)" method of demon slaying, apparently pretty effective. While we don't know how the rate of climbing the ranks is calculated, I suspect that Flower Breathing stresses evasion (see here and here), so Kanao likely doesn’t spend at much time down with injury, and therefore she took a lot more missions. And, being in a Pillar’s household, she might have had a Nichirin blade she could use right away to start taking missions while hers was being made, giving her at least a 10-day leg up on the others in her Final Selection batch. Likewise, being in the company of a Pillar, she’s probably gone straight into fighting higher level demons. And who knows? Maybe being declared a Tsuguko also adds to rank? But then Tanjiro turns her world upside-down at the flip of a coin, like how Shinobu throwing coins around a bridge changed her life years before. And, little by little, the voice of Kanao's heart starts growing stronger. While before Kanao was happy to simply stare off at the sun, Fanbook #1 tells us she's started looking at the world around her afresh. Bubbles!! Blowing bubbles is her new hobby. And she might not be good at treating injuries, but she goes on errands now for the Butterfly Mansion and likes bringing back candy and other small gifts for everyone. Look, it's even fun to poke the paw pads on cats! Beans! (Seeing as Shinobu doesn't like furry creatures (yet somehow puts up with Inosuke), Kanao probably only interacts with cats on her errands, and I'll bet Shinobu and Aoi both stay on pins and needles wondering what's taking her so long out there on her own). Kanao's even started to try helping with cooking! In one of the light novels, we see her go to Aoi for help, asking her to teach her new recipes. And, a few months into this bright new outlook on the world where she actually takes and interest in things and forms her own opinions, the Uzui Incident happens, and Kanao, at least by Kanao's standards, flamboyantly stands up to him. It was a terrifyingly bigger and more complicated decision than she's ever faced in battle. So here's a question:

Can a Corp member be

punished for anything by being downgraded a rank? Was there any repercussion to interfering with a Pillar's demon slaying mission? That might explain some of the sudden slow-down in Kanao's dramatic rate of promotion. What might also be possible is that a different Pillar, Shinobu, was concerned about the speed with which she advanced, especially seeing how emotionally stunted Muichiro was despite his skills, and how he wound up in more and more dangerous situations because of his rank. Even if Shinobu recognizes (perhaps with some surprise) that Kanao is innately talented, she's no genius, and she can't simply survive by cutting off heads as she climbs the ranks. Shinobu perhaps puts her foot down against Kanao's advancement to make sure there is time to focus on other aspects Kanao needs to mature in, and Oyakata-sama would probably be pretty understanding of that. This sort of request may be allowed purely because of the nature of the Hashira-Tsuguko relationship, regardless of the reason, who knows. But what it also might be is that as Kanao starts feeling things, she starts feeling all the things. Whereas before she might never had cared enough to be affected by fear or pain or sadness or weariness, just as she's seeing the simple tiny pleasures of life with fresh eyes, perhaps she's lost the natural armor she had against these other feelings. And, given the reasons why she snapped in the first place, it may be an especially confusing process for her to have to deal with these negative feelings in a healthier way. That's got to have a negative impact on her effectiveness in battle, and if it ever breaks her focus (though I don't see any evidence of this ever happening), it could be something that leads to injuries, which would decrease her number of missions (but, given her mastery of Breath technique and Functional Recovery Training, she's probably quick to recover). Even if Kanao doesn't get to the point of having breakdowns, people like Shinobu and Oyakata-sama would be keen enough of her development as a person that they might slow down how often she's assigned missions, as she requires that time to work at her new interests and becoming a more whole person. They've probably been watching over her without her even being aware of it, and as Shinobu perhaps devotes more and more time to her research, Kanao supposes that's the reason for her own slow-down in missions. If Master is busy, then the Tsuguko should merely help out and keep training. And it's not as if Kanao enjoys slaying demons; she's probably happily distracted with all these new things she finds she enjoys. She's probably never cared about promotion anyway. But, would Kanao have blown through the ranks if Tanjiro hadn't unwittingly derailed her so dramatically?

As an aside, the aforementioned Taisho Secret also states that Kanao joined the Corp because unlike Aoi, she wasn't good at treating injuries. Yet in the extended epilogue comic in Fanbook #2 Tanjiro says she's a fantastic doctor??? Hmm???? When?? How????? Can she see well enough to administer medicine safely?? Umm? Aoi? Please supervise her???? No offense, Kanao, but--where---did--this--come--from???????

#tsuyuri kanao #kny fandom theories and meta #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer

96 notes · View notes

petra-realsnk · 3 years

Note

Petra squad Headcanons I love them ! + some Rivetra

Sorry for answering so late! I’ve been so invested in writing that I barely can keep up with asks. I really do appreciate them, though 🥺💕

Petra’s squad headcons + Rivetra (sfw)

Edith Bisset (26-30 yrs old - she/her - 178cm)

- She was Petra’s age when first introduced. Her personality and appearance were heavily inspired by Hitch, although she has many more things in common with Petra. If they were in a modern au, they would surely be besties! These two enjoy shit-talking a little bit too much.

- She and Hugo were some of the first friends Petra made after being resurrected. They decided to transfer from the military police after being heavily deceived by its structure and realizing how much more they could bring into their society by joining their Survey Corps instead.

- Edith comes from a middle-class family in Wall Rose. Her father is a successful fabric seller, but his relationship with her daughter was somewhat conflictive, so she enlisted as soon as her age permitted it.

- She’s the mom of the squad with Petra, doing a fantastic job keeping the younger members at bay when their leader is gone. Her mature yet teasy personality makes her one of my favorites tbh. Edith would be that mean girl you’re afraid of until you get to meet her and realize she’s not mean at all. (She would roast you, though, but that’s just her sense of humor.)

- Her skills are awe-inspiring for someone who’s not an Ackerman. That’s why she was initially named second in command until Petra decided to split that position with Hugo as well.

- She solved a lot of cases while working on the Military Police. Her intelligence and deductive capabilities are some of the aspects that make her a valuable soldier.

Hugo Herrman (25-29 yrs old - he/him - 191cm)

- Cinnamon roll. He deserves all the rights. He tried to date Edith, but she ignored him (she kind of regrets it now). He comes from a modest family originally from Wall Maria. After he joined the Military Police, they were able to move inside Wall Rose. He was infinitely grateful for that decision after the fall happened. God knows if they would’ve survived otherwise.

- He has the most chill personality in the squad and behaves as an observer most of the time. His professional ethics and skills match with those of Edith, who is one of his best friends.

He’s a little bit of a “what if Marco was an adult man with a beard” character. Hugo is much more assertive, though.

- He and Petra bonded over their shared sweet nature.

- Irina had a big fat crush on him, but who wouldn’t? He’s probably one of the hottest members of the Corps. Unluckily, he’s too old for most of them.

Irina Moldovan (18-22 yrs old - she/her - 156 cm)

- The daughter of a Doctor who volunteered to tend the injured of the Survey Corps. Irina’s dad had a significant impact on her, and her peers greatly value her medical skills. She worked with Hange a couple of times before officially joining the explorers. Now, she still helps them during the shifter tests. Irina has probably tended everyone at this point, which means she knows A LOT OF SECRETS. Thank god she’s not that much interested in gossiping.

- She has the craziest personality. Irina is spontaneous, witty, and accidentally hilarious all at once. However, she tends to be a little bit clueless when it comes to reading between the lines. Nathaniel could flirt with her for hours, and the girl would never get a hint. He eventually gave up. Which is a lot coming from him.

- Evelyn often has to take care of her since she tends to neglect herself a bit whenever she focuses too much on something. Queen of hyper-fixating with Hange. You wouldn’t want to get trapped in a conversation with both of them.

-She’s a hugger while sleeping. Everybody knows that whoever ends up on her side is about to get squished into the realms of Hypnos. Nathaniel didn’t inform Levi about this for fun. The result was tragic, but he still laughs about it.

Nathaniel Brzenski (19-23 yrs old - he/him - 180cm)

-Flirtatious Himbo. Much more intelligent and emotionally mature than it might seem at first. He’s a bisexual mess who won’t stop trying to seduce everything that breathes.

- Sadly, he was the scapegoat child of the Brzenski family, a rich dynasty who had been investing in the army for decades. Of course, he grew with all the commodities, becoming the pretty rich boy who partied a little bit too much. His attitude was considered humiliating by his peers, who preferred his sister Rico, who became somewhat of the star child after joining the Garrisons. Finally, he gave in to the pressure and joined the Military Police, later changing to the Survey Corps still in hopes to regain the respect of his family.

- He excels at hand-to-hand combat.

- He was partially responsible for bringing together Petra’s squad with the 104th. This boy will approach everyone and make sure everyone stays friends, even at the expense of making himself the common annoyance.

- He’s not successful with women despite his nice looks. This is mostly because of his child-like behavior, although he would do much better if he showed his true self more often.

-He tried to hit on Levi more than once, and Petra watched in amusement each time.

Evelyn Lefebre (19-23 yrs old - she/her - 169)

- She’s one of the most balanced members of the squad, especially among its young members. Her family owns a small goldsmith workshop in Stohess that suffered greatly from the crisis provoked by the fall of Wall Maria. As a result, Evelyn decided to join the Military Police to help her family pay their debts. Like all the women in her family, she has a great passion for craftsmanship, giving her an excellent eye for detail.

- Tsundere.

- The first time Nathaniel flirted with her as a trainee, she actually took him seriously. She developed a crush for like 15 min before she saw him doing the same with Irina. Since then, Evelyn has shared a love-hate relationship with him. She finds his himbo self both endearing and exasperating and feels somewhat embarrassed over the fact that she stills harbors feelings for him.

- She’s that one girl who was described as “really mature for her age” and would probably describe herself as such.

- Don’t try to fight her. She will find a way to win even if she’s wrong. In this sense, she’s a little bit like Edith, with whom she gets along well. These two have EGOS in different ways. It would be terrifying if they got angry with each other. Nathaniel would find it hot.

- She’s the only one in the squad who can properly cook aside from Hugo.

Sabah Fadel (Ackerman) (20-24 yrs old - they/them - 153 cm)

- A long-lost member of the Ackerman clan. They lost their sister during the fall of Wall Maria due to an unfortunate intervention of Rico Brzenska. This led to a lot of resentment towards her and the Brzenski family, which made their first encounter with Nathaniel a little bit tense. Of course, he ended up becoming their best friend somehow. (Read full backstory here.)

- Everybody simps for them because they’re impossibly cool. When they joined the Survey Corps, Mikasa went into an existential crisis because nobody aside from Levi had ever equalized her skills.

- Serious, confident af, will call out and make you bite the dust 100%. Somehow, they’re dorky when you get to know them.

- Babysits everyone when they’re drunk, especially Evelyn and Irina.

- They have a stamp collection. Talking about their interests is a great way to get to know them.

Rivetra + Squad:

- Edith and Hugo were the first ones to suspect something was going on. They started to hang out with Petra before she became their leader and quickly realized how close she seemed to be with Levi. The moment they found out they were together, Edith couldn’t wait to scream, “I KNEW IT!” They’re totally professional about it but secretly wish to be able to tease her.

- The rest of the squad was a little bit louder about it, especially Irina and Nathaniel, who made sexual jokes when they weren’t around. It was certainly something to think about that pair together. They seemed total opposites from the outside.

- Levi was mortified when everybody found about their affair. He slowly got accustomed to it, but every time he approached her squad cringes at the thought. On the other hand, Petra got defensive whenever someone addressed the matter. Nathaniel once joked about it and ended up training until he nearly collapsed. Petra seldom applies harsh discipline, but whenever she does, it’s much worse than Levi.

- Levi and Petra like to make their squads compete during training. They can get really petty about it. They have fun roasting each other teams while hyping their own. Their units ended up realizing this, not that they can complain anyway…

#rivetra #digging up a grave #petra ral #levi ackerman #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot #levi x petra #writer asks #asks #rivapeto #rivetra hc #ao3fic #Petra squad

40 notes · View notes

fuckyeahisawthat · 3 years

Note

Have you been asked yet to rank Trust eps? Cos I'm asking! But your the criteria for ranking I leave to you to decide.

Ahahahaha I’ll have you know I put way too much thought into this. :-D

Ok so first of all, there is no such thing as a bad episode of Trust. The whole thing is really tightly written, every character and plot thread has a purpose, and even the episodes that I haven’t watched over and over again are important to the overall story. And a lot of the impact of the show comes from things that are cumulative over multiple episodes.

That being said, I do have favorites. Since the definitive ranking of Primo’s outfits has already been taken care of, here is my ranking from least to most favorite based on some nebulous criteria of artistic/narrative effectiveness and emotional impact, my judgement of which is obviously highly subjective and also correct.

Under the cut because this got ummm unbelievably, ridiculously long.

10. The House of Getty (episode 1)

Sorry Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy, the pilot is my least favorite episode. Still think it was the wrong choice to open with a flashy (and, I can tell, expensive) sequence showcasing the death of a character we literally never see again. And, look, I’m an impatient viewer. If I don’t get someone to root for/emotionally identify with/otherwise catch my interest early on in a narrative, I’ll tune out. And Old Paul is not only unlikeable--far from a mortal sin in dramatic storytelling--he’s boring. I don’t care about any of his rich people problems, and I’m not the kind of viewer who can be kept engaged just by hating someone and watching them be terrible.

Some of the secondary characters in the Getty household do have interesting plotlines, but we don’t get to learn very much about them in the first episode. And I do think things get interesting once Little Paul shows up (although I maintain that the whole episode is more interesting if we understand what the stakes are for Paul getting the money), but if I had started watching this show with no context I wouldn’t have made it past Old Paul’s pre-coital erotica listening routine.

If this had been anything other than the first episode I might not have ranked it last, but extra penalty points for leading with your least interesting characters.

9. Lone Star (episode 2)

This episode is, I think, saddled by the fact that it has to do a lot of heavy lifting in terms of exposition and setup. It mostly works because Chace is an entertaining narrator, and once we get to Italy with Gail I think things zip along at a pretty good pace. Opens with an attempted rape to show how Bad the Bad Guys are, which is...not my favorite trope.

Once again, I think a lot of the information in this episode would have worked better if episode 3 had been episode 1. (We’d already know who Berto was when Chace meets him; we’d already know about the box of guns in the apartment; we’d know when certain characters are lying.) This whole show runs on the suspense of the audience being the only party who knows what’s going on with all the characters at once; I think trading mystery for suspense here was the wrong move. I also can’t help thinking there was pressure to front-load the well-known American actors in the beginning of the show at the expense of the strongest narrative choices.

Imo the best thing about this episode is the sort of...multiple competing images of Paul that emerge. His mom sees him as an innocent victim who couldn’t possibly have planned any of this. Chace sees him as a spoiled rich kid trying to swindle his granddad. Neither one of them has the complete truth.

Next we get into some episodes that are certainly not bad, but their greatness is more on the level of some bangin’ individual scenes than a whole package.

8. John, Chapter 11 (episode 6)

Again, this isn’t a bad episode. The main reason I put it near the end of the list is that the first time through I got sort of impatient during the first half. We, the audience, by virtue of our extra-textual knowledge, know that Paul can’t be dead, and we spend about half the episode before we know what really happened to him, which felt a bit too long to me.

This episode does have some fantastic individual scenes including: Leo talking Primo down in the farmhouse, Leo and Paul’s conversation about Angelo’s death, Gail being an absolute badass, and the meeting between Salvatore and Old Paul. A lot of these scenes are essential on a thematic level, but I don’t think the episode as a whole is the most streamlined.

7. Consequences (episode 10)

I debated for a while where to put this episode because the overall feeling of 57 Chekov’s guns going off in the space of one episode is SO satisfying, and the resolutions of some of the individual plotlines are delicious. Ultimately I would have liked more space for Paul and Gail and less Old Paul being grumpy about his substitute child museum’s mediocrity (although the scene with the bad reviews is hilarious). Once again I feel like the show creators felt they had to pull the focus back to Old Paul to wrap things up and I just. don’t care.

That being said. The resolution of Primo’s storyline? SO SATISFYING. And tbh I don’t dislike the scenes that exist with Paul and Gail; even the happy scenes have this poignant tone to them. I think they were trying to deal with the fact that his irl story is just...incredibly fucking tragic, and you can see a bit of the strain showing.

6. Kodachrome (episode 7)

I know episode 7 is not one of your personal favorites, but it’s the one where I think jumping between multiple plotlines/sets of characters is used to the most satisfying dramatic effect. It has this sense of dramatic irony that feels like some Shakespearean family tragedy. The whole episode, we are hoping that Paul Jr. will finally do the thing we want him to do, which is stand up to his father. And he does it--but at the absolute worst, most selfish and destructive moment possible.

Paul Jr. may be the literal worst, but I do have compassion for him in the flashbacks, mostly because it seems painfully apparent that no matter what he does, he will never be able to please his father. But he doesn’t seem to realize this, and he keeps trying, even as it’s destroying him and his relationship with his family. Credit to Michael Esper for his performance for making me feel a smidgen of compassion for this bastard.

I think the other thing this episode shows is how both of Paul’s parents keep putting him, a child, into roles and circumstances that he shouldn’t really be in. He’s wandering around through what seem like very much adult environments with his dad and Talitha in Morocco. In the Trust version of events he’s there when Talitha ODs and is the one trying to revive her while his dad is having a breakdown in the corner. Gail seems like the more responsible parent but there’s something about her bringing Paul as her “date” on a night out, and the understanding that this is a thing that happens regularly...to me the disturbing part is not so much bringing a young kid to a party with adults but the unspoken expectation that Little Paul will fill the void of companionship that his father has left empty. (Gettys expecting Little Paul to step in to cover for the failings of his father is a repeated theme, and it even plays into the ear thing. His family has failed to pay the ransom, so this is now a problem he has to solve himself.) Combine this all with Leonardo going, um, excuse me but what the actual fuck is wrong with your family? and I think it makes a very effective episode. And the last couple minutes had me yelling NOOOOOOOO GODDAMMIT because you can see what’s going to happen and you’re just watching it unfolding like a car wreck. Also has one of my hands-down favorite scenes, of Paul and Primo in the car waiting for the ransom.

5. White Car in a Snowstorm (episode 9)

The ~ D R A M A !!! ~ This episode is an opera. I mean this whole show is dramatique but episode 9 really leans into the vivid imagery--that snowy highway in the mountains above the sea, the all-white ransom exchange, Paul clinging to the pole at the shuttered Getty gas station, some Very Serious Mobsters throwing the ransom money around like idiots in a moment where you’re encouraged to be happy along with them.

This is also one of my favorite episodes for Primo and for Primo and Paul’s weird sometimes-alliance. Primo walking away from Salvatore to go tell Paul “they always pay in the end”? Primo and Paul teaming up to argue with Salvatore about why Paul shouldn’t die? Primo being all threateny to the doctor treating Paul because somewhere deep down he is worried (that’s my take and you’ll never convince me otherwise)? Primo dressing up to fake-scab on a postal strike in order to find a misplaced severed ear? All gold.

Fun fact: the letter Gail writes to President Nixon did happen in real life, but as far as I can tell the phone call did not. The real details of who convinced Old Paul to finally pay (some) of the ransom are considerably less cinematic. They’re the same amount of sexist though!

Ok now we are getting to the top tier...

4. That’s All Folks! (episode 4)

This is definitely the episode that took me from “ok this is fun” to “oh holy shit I’m invested now.” It’s the episode where we get introduced to most of the Calabrian characters and their world. It’s also the episode where we start to realize that Primo is not just a fun antagonist but is really a parallel protagonist to Little Paul, with his own set of relationships and motivations that we start to see from his POV. (I’d argue that, with the exception of his very first scene, we’ve mostly seen Primo through other characters’ gaze up until episode 4, and this is the point where we start watching him as like, the character whose pursuit of a goal we’re following over the course of the scene.)

This episode ranks high for capturing so much of the weird mix of tones that makes Trust work. It can be very funny. (I never fail to fuckin lose it when Fifty is on the phone with Gail the first time and when he’s talking to the thoroughly unimpressed newspaper switchboard operator.) It has this weird unexpected intimacy between characters you wouldn’t think would connect with each other. (Primo and Paul, Paul and Angelo; in retrospect the arc of the relationship between Primo and Leo gets started in that scene in Salvatore’s kitchen.) And it has one of the show’s absolute best record-scratch tone shifts when Primo gets the ransom offer. I remember saying “oh FUCK” out loud the first time I watched the end of that episode, when Primo comes back to the house, visibly drunk and clearly furious. We’ve seen him be violent plenty before now in the show, but always in a controlled, calculated way. This is the first time we see his potential for out-of-control rage-fueled violence and he’s terrifying!

3. La Dolce Vita (episode 3)

I stand by my claim that this episode (with a few minor continuity adjustments) should have been the pilot. Can you imagine a title card that’s like “Rome 1973” and then away we go with Paul snorting coke and taking racy photos and jumping on cops and fucking his girlfriend in what is definitely not proper museum etiquette, and then the smash cut to Primo intimidating and robbing and murdering people? And that’s the opening of the whole show? And you’re like how are these characters connected and then they meet each other and it’s the fucking sunflower field scene??

Anyway aside from the fact that I think knowing the information in this episode would have made episodes 1 and 2 more interesting...it’s just a great fucking episode. It’s kinetic and propulsive and funny and tense and violent and features Primo’s sniper skills and his ass in those cornflower blue trousers. I rest my case.

2. Silenzio (episode 5)

I’ll be honest, I went back and forth on the top two a bunch. Silenzio is definitely my personal favorite episode, and I’d argue that it’s the best written, in terms of what it accomplishes narratively, which is to keep you emotionally invested in both Paul and Angelo trying to escape with their lives, and Primo and Leonardo hunting them down. That’s so fucking hard!! And yes some of it is great acting but it starts from the foundation of the writing. It’s just such a perfect little self-contained horror movie, and it has this profound sense of fatalism to it, because you know from the beginning (if only by virtue of only being halfway through the series) that Paul is not going to escape, and you sort of know that there is only one way this will end for Angelo. And yet they escape by the skin of their teeth so! many! times!

It’s also the episode where you see how much power the ‘Ndrangheta has over people’s lives in this community: Salvatore is like God, calling his servants to him with the church bells. Combine that with the visuals of two characters running for their lives mostly on foot through this unforgiving landscape, and you really get the sense of this environment as a harsh place where most people have a very constrained set of choices, and the claustrophobia of that. You get the sense in this episode that everyone is trapped in these expectations of violence and duty and honor. Angelo did what anyone with compassion would do, and saved Paul from what seemed like certain death, and he’s doomed for it. At the same time Primo is doing exactly what anyone would expect him to do in response to a subordinate who disobeyed him. In some ways the end of the episode feels inevitable, unsurprising, and yet they do SUCH a good job of winding up the tension until the literal last seconds of the episode, and then releasing it with a big dramatic bang. It’s so good!!

1. In the Name of the Father (episode 8)

Ok I’ll be honest the ONLY reason In the Name of the Father edged out Silenzio for the top spot is that it is really clear they pulled out all the stops in terms of making this episode feel extra heightened in a show where everything is already heightened. Like, the cinematography is different? They still use handheld a lot but I swear there are more still shots and more extreme, editorial camera angles like that shot of Francesco looking upward in church where the camera is looking down from above him. I can’t tell if they actually tweaked the color grading or if the bright white and blood red just stand out against the Calabrian color palette which is mostly earth tones, browns and greens and blues.

There are just. So many layers to this episode. The imagery! The literal sacrificial lamb at the beginning, Francesco being guided by Leonardo through an act of violence against an animal, something that I’m sure they don’t even see as violence but just part of farm life, part of survival and in this case part of a celebration, but something that fathers teach their sons how to do as part of becoming a man in this world. Paul as the metaphorical sacrificial lamb later, drawing parallels to Jesus (the lamb of God), Isaac (a father sacrificing his son), any number of martyred saints, pick your Catholic imagery. The blood of the lamb on the tree stump and Paul’s blood on the stone. The communion wafer (the body and blood of Christ) and Francesco at the end with Paul’s blood and a literal piece of his body held in his hands the same way.

And then there is like, the suspense of watching everyone marking time through the steps of this community ritual that’s supposed to be a joyful, communal celebration, while we know that there is a secret ticking away under the surface. The slow unfolding of the lie told to one person spreading to everyone in the village, and then the knowledge that Salvatore knows spreading to all the people who’ll be in trouble for that. The relationship arcs between the main Calabrian characters...not resolving, but sliding into place for the final act. Primo finally being done with Salvatore. Primo and Leo’s alliance being cemented and Leo physically stepping between Primo and Salvatore, to protect Primo. (No one ever protects Primo!! Still not over it!!!!) The confirmation celebration as a mirror of the Getty party in episode 1, the parallels drawn between the 3 Pauls and Salvatore-Primo-Francesco and how Primo reacts to being passed over as heir vs. how Paul Jr. reacts. Little Paul having two whole minutes of screen time and managing to break your heart with them. Regina! Just...Regina’s whole everything. The music going all-instrumental for an episode and having this haunting, dreamlike but still tense quality to it. And the fact that we never cut away from Calabria to another plotline gives the whole episode this hypnotic, all-encompassing quality. It’s just. SO GOOD!!!!

#fadagaski #asks answered #trust fx #long post #so so long omg #i can't believe how long i spent writing this but HERE IT IS #trust alternate watch order

70 notes · View notes

awhitehead17 · 3 years

Text

Batfam Alphabet: C – Casualties

Summary: Tim’s mindset becomes rather negative after returning from a mission that had gone sideways. It isn’t until Dick offers some logical reasoning that Tim begins to accept what had happened and starts trying to move forward from it.

Enjoy! :D

The rhythmic sound of his fists hitting the punching bag repeatedly both soothe and frustrate him at the same time. It’s soothing because he can get lost in the rhythm of the strikes and get lost in sensations the impact causes against his hands. On the other hand it’s frustrating because of the reason why he’s hitting the punching bag in the first place.

It’s been a couple hours since Tim’s returned from a mission with the Titans, normally in that time he would write up his report and begin to wind down from the events that occurred but this time none of that was happening.

Those couple of hours from finishing the mission and making his way back to the Manor was more than enough time for Tim’s mind to start wondering. Instead of winding down he was in fact getting more worked up as he recalls the mission in his mind. His negative mindset takes over and his thoughts become rather self-loathing. Thoughts like what he should have done to make the mission go more smoothly, how he could have performed better, how he could have stopped things from happening that were easily preventable and only if he were quicker in reacting, take over his mind.

As soon as he returned to the Manor Tim headed for the cave under the guise of going there to write his report, however instead of going to the computer he turned to the training area and faced the punching bag. It was a feeble attempt to try and clear his mind but it wasn’t doing a great job because the mission is all Tim could think about as his fist connects with the bag each time.

He’s not sure how long he goes at it for, but over time his moves become weak and get sloppy. His strikes no longer have power behind them and it’s like he’s simply patting the bag instead of hitting it. It’s only minutes later that Tim slumps against the bag feeling exhausted as the day’s events finally catch up to him.

Tim hugs the bag and breathes heavily against it for a long moment before he slowly falls to the floor, using the bag to keep himself from completely dropping. Once his body’s on the ground Tim sits there dejectedly unable to find it in himself to move.

“Oh Timmy…”

Tim snaps his eyes up to find Dick crouching in front of him. His older brother is looking at him with a sad and concerned expression. Tim stares back miserably.

Thankfully Dick doesn’t say anything straight away but Tim knows his brother and he knows a talk will be coming up shortly. For now the silence is a blessing. His head isn’t in the right place for a heart to heart no matter the topic.

Dick settles in front of him and places a first aid kit to the side. He grabs some supplies before slowly reaching out, slowly because he’s projecting his intentions to Tim without saying anything, to grab his hand. Dick is careful and gentle as he takes care of Tim's bruised and split knuckles, once he’s done one hand he moves onto the other.

After finishing them both up he puts away the kit and takes both of Tim’s hands in his own, Dick’s thumb strokes along the new bandages on his skin.

“I heard what happened Timmy, and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. However, it isn’t your fault.”

Tim closes his eyes and shakes his head in refusal. He doesn’t think he can handle hearing this talk from his brother. He desperately wants to get up and get away from Dick to avoid this conversation but it’s like his mind and body have disconnected from each other, he couldn’t make his body move no matter how hard he tried.

Tim takes a deep breath and swallows the lump in his throat. “People died Dick. People on my watch died. If I had been faster, or if I did something different, they could have been saved.”

“Tim, unfortunately, you know as well as I do that we can’t say everyone.”

Tim grits his teeth at the cliché saying. It’s true of course but it doesn’t make it easy to hear or makes him feel any better.

“On missions there will always be casualties. It happens to every hero. We always feel like there’s something more we could have done, like there’s always something we should have changed, how we should have been better prepared and only if we were quicker, better and stronger.”

Tim knows all of this is true but it still doesn’t make him feel any better. He doesn’t have powers or any other ability like the rest of his team do, his own person is a liability in itself. What use is he out in the field if he can’t protect anyone? Is he even equipped enough to do this? If people die on his watch then obviously he isn’t doing enough.

“Tim you need to stop over thinking this, it wasn’t your fault, the deaths that happened wasn’t because you weren’t good enough or quick enough. Unfortunately they just happen and sometimes there’s nothing we can do to prevent it.”

“But it’s not fair!” Tim exclaims emotionally. He looks up at Dick with tears stinging his eyes. “I should have been able to prevent the deaths from happening because that’s what I’m trained to do! I wasn’t good enough at my good job and people died because of that.”

Dick looks sympathetic. He knows exactly what Tim is on about and how he’s feeling because he’s been there himself. It comes with the job, that feeling of guilt and failure when a civilian dies during a mission on your watch. It’s heart breaking in more ways than one.

He sighs and squeezes Tim’s hands tighter. “Sure, but now we learn from what happened, we move forward and continue training to try and prevent anything like that from happening again. We’re only human, we do what we can at the end of the day, as long as we do our best that’s all anyone can ask for.”

Tim shakes his head again, refusing to be comforted by his brother’s words. At that point Dick decides to change tactics, Tim’s a logical guy, he likes to see the logic side of things so Dick’s going to try this situation from a different approach.

“Okay so think about it this way. When policemen or firemen, any medical professionals like doctors and nurses lose people on the job, is it their fault that the person died?”

Tim scowls at his feet, knowing and hating the way Dick is now directing the conversation towards. He grits his teeth, biting out a sharp “no.”

“No it’s not. They would have done their best to prevent any kind of deaths from happening. How is that any different from you? If anything they’re professionally trained to save lives and yet sadly they don’t always succeed. Us lot, we’ve simply stuck on spandex, have one heck of a bravery streak with a strong desire to help people, of course we’re also not always going to be successful. It’s just how it is.”

Tim stays quiet after hearing Dick speak. He knows his brother is right, it’s just hard to admit it and hard to accept the deaths that had happened. Bringing in other professionals into the picture was a clever move. Tim knows from experience that yes, those who are doctors, nurses, police and firemen, do lose people on the job, there are always casualties no matter what role you play. He also knows that those people don’t stop doing their jobs either, they keep going and focus on the lives they can save next, doing exactly what Tim should be doing.

He sighs and raises his eyes to look up at his brother across from him. He nods his head slightly telling Dick that he understands, he may not accept it but he understands the message. “Sorry,” he says in the end.

This time Dick shakes his head. The older man scoots forward and drags Tim into a hug which he instantly melts into. “Don’t beat yourself up about it Tim. We move forward and do our best to stop anything like that from happening again.”

Tim hums in response. He can feel the exhaustion of the day running throughout his body, he feels even more tried than he did at the start of this conversation. Dick must pick up on it because his brother starts helping him to stand up.

“Come on, it’s been a long day. Let’s get you cleaned up and put into bed where you can sleep for the whole of the tomorrow without any disturbance.”

#batfam alphabet #tim drake #dick grayson #hurt and comfort #big brother dick #self hatred #self-loathing #angst #fluff #logical reasoning #exhaustion #batboys #batfamily #Brotherly Love #casualties #fanfiction

20 notes · View notes

audarcy · 4 years

Text

Endgame/Infinity War is such a badly told story for so many reasons.

First of all, I’ll get the CinemaSins shit out of the way: obviously, the story ignores a lot of the ramifications of what Thanos does. And to be fair, it would be fine if Thanos’ plan was illogical if it had not been presented as logical within the story, or if the lack of logic had ever been pointed out. But yeah, killing half of all life would almost equally deplete resources (because half of our food source would be gone), killing half of all life at once would cause a ripple effect of considerably more death and destruction (plane pilots disappearing mid-flight, employees at nuclear facilities abandoning their posts, doctors disappearing mid-surgery, etc), life would not be able to go back to normal not just because of the Insane Trauma everyone left behind would have but also because the world’s infrastructure would be totally fucked..........you get the picture.

But I’m even going to give that all a pass. It’s comics and comics are fucking stupid. Comics have a planet called counter-earth that scientists never found because its on the opposite side of the sun so no one ever saw it. It’s allowed to be dumb. Moving on.

Ultimately, the main desire of IW/EG is to maintain and restore the status quo. Someone is trying to change things, and we have to stop it. And in the end, that’s exactly what happened. The only major change to the world is the death of Tony Stark. Which, uh, I guess is one good thing.

IW/EG just....didn’t mean anything. It was a cliffhanger followed by a fun throwback and then a big epic fight scene and a major character death to make it seem serious. And now we’re left basically where we started. It took all of that just to kill a character who’s had the same arc in every movie he’s been in, including the one where he’s dead. (“Maybe making weapons of mass destruction is bad...but if I am the one with the weapons of mass destruction, that is good.”)

And obviously these movies are trash meant to get the big box office numbers and little else, but these themes actually become pretty insidious under scrutiny, so it’s important to be critical of them. It’s important to be cognizant of these things because it’s subtle propaganda. It’s propaganda that says that those in power need to stay that way, that weapons of mass destruction belong in the hands of the “good guys” (white American Tony Stark) to beat up the “bad guys” who threaten the status quo...et cetera.

Also, the story gives a “logical” creedence to Thanos’ plan that it never actually challenges. And sure, the audience relates to not wanting half of all life to die, so we root for the heroes, but then we start getting people writing thinkpieces like “Actually, Thanos has a point!” followed by some Malthusian fascy bullshit. There was never a victory of ideology in IW/EG. There was a victory of might, a victory of power, but ultimately, it was Thanos who was given a voice. It was Thanos who was made out to be correct, as the story characterized him as an intelligent and all-powerful villain by framing his motives as logical. Thanos had to be made out to be this sort of Supreme Being in order to make the heroes seem Super Powerful for being able to beat him. So even in his loss, he still has to be Great and Epic, because the heroes need a Great and Epic villain to beat. Which means that people watching still take him seriously. Which means.....the story tacitly uplifts his beliefs.

Compare this to Black Panther, as I would like to be fair in this argument and compare a story within the MCU to another story on the same playing field. In Black Panther, the villain also had an ideological motive. Killmonger’s motive challenges the status quo: he wants Wakanda to change its ways. T’Challa challenges his ideology, but he takes it into consideration and ultimately agrees. And although Killmonger is defeated, he wins the ideological battle. The events of the story have a profound impact on its characters and the world they live in. T’Challas position of power is challenged, literally and thematically, and ultimately, he understands the responsibility that comes with his power and the moral onligation to use it for the benefit of the powerless. The story had a purpose. IW/EG....just doesn’t. The status quo has been restored. And nothing is really all that different, at least from what we’ve seen in Homecoming, where the biggest issue is that Tony is dead, which could’ve happened regardless of anything Thanos did.

And it’s important to understand the emotional core of IW/EG: desire to stay the same. Rejecting change. Making sure that the people who have power stay that way, that their power isn’t challenged. It tells us that those with power will do the right thing with it always and we can trust them to defeat outside enemies.

I haven’t been, like, Emotionally Invested in Marvel movies in a while, but these have an undeniably huge cultural impact, so...it’s important to be aware of stuff like this. At the end of the day, these movies are made by powerful people who benefit from their consumers thinking a Certain Way About The World, y’know?

#marvel #infinity saga #infinity war #endgame #avengers #avengers endgame #yes I am absolutely begging for rabid fans in my ask with these tags. I dont care

287 notes · View notes