#like some people forget Elias was from A Family

[sluttyjonahmagnus]

Hmmm. I didn’t want to jump on the Gwen and Elias relation train but. Alice’s comment on what could be Gwen’s standing with class/money is something. Because Elias’s father made comments. Elias made those comments in mag193 about himself.

Depending on how old she is.. she could be anyone in that family.

#tmagp spoilers #tmagp #gwendolyn bouchard #elias bouchard #original elias bouchard #og elias bouchard #the magnus protocol #the Magnus protocol spoilers #like some people forget Elias was from A Family #and he might’ve believed he deserved better than what he got #but shitty dad and trauma and eye gouging #huh #i'm sorry i can't buy transfem elias tho

[fdelopera]

Musings on the Moon Knight System for the High Holidays

BROKE: Moon Knight System in the comics are Jewish in name only. They’re basically pagan idolaters.

WOKE: Jake is MK System’s spiritual protector in the comics (especially MacKay), and connects the most with their Jewish identity.

BESPOKE: The Moon Knight System are very Jewish, but Marc, Steven, and Jake have a lot of specific religious trauma, and they each connect to their Jewishness in different ways and at different times ... just as most Jews do. Their Jewishness is an intrinsic part of who they are.

At the Rosh Hashanah 2nd day service yesterday, the Rabbi said something that brought Moon Knight System to mind.

During the Malchuyot, Zichronot, and Shofarot prayers, she said this before the Zichronot prayer:

“Jews are all about memory. We tell and retell the stories of our ancestors to link our generations together. We tell the story of the Exodus and redemption, and these are human memories. Here in the Zichronot section, we consider G-d's memory. What we are asking in Zichronot is, "Am I remembered? Is my life in G-d's memory?" And the answer is, yes. Adonai remembers each one of us, every single creature created in G-d's image is seen and noticed.”

And yet, what about those of us who are dissociative? What about those of us whose memory is scattered, fragmented, and traumatized, just like the Jewish people have been throughout our history?

What about those of us whose memory stops at a certain point, just as our family tree goes back only a few generations to those who escaped the pogroms and the Holocaust? Yes, we can trace some of our ancestors across the ocean to the shtetls, and we can search for the deep root systems that our people have grown from, but we know that if we do, we will only find tragedy and death.

For every one of our ancestors who has a gravestone in an intact Jewish cemetery in the Old Country, there are countless others whose roots were cut, who were murdered by Romans and Inquisitors and Cossacks and Nazis, whose bodies were desecrated, and who were never buried in Jewish soil. And yet, even as the Nazis and the Russians and the Spanish and the Romans and so many others tried to erase us from living memory, still we persevered. There are still some branches left. Our cultural memory endures, even though it is fragmented.

And yet, what of us who strain to remember? What of those of us who have high walls instead of doorways, keeping us out? Perhaps we can even see trees growing on the other side, but we cannot enter, not yet. How then can we connect to our past? Must we wander for another 40 years? And on Yom Kippur, how can we atone if remembrance is scattered and hidden like the Lost Tribes of Israel?

I imagine that Marc has wondered thoughts like these from time to time, especially around the High Holidays. Marc wants to think of himself as an apostate. If he’s being particularly edgy, he might even describe himself as an idolater. But I don’t think he is. Marc has a Jewish soul. So does Jake and so does Steven.

And as much as Marc might want to think that he is beyond atonement for the things he’s done, perhaps in quiet moments, he still hopes to atone as best he can. Perhaps some nights, Marc and Jake and Steven share dreams of teshuvah, of repentance, of making amends. With Gena. With Crawley. With Frenchie. And yet, how to even begin?

Perhaps Elias Spector, the Orthodox rabbi, might once have read the following passage on Rosh Hashanah as he spoke to the congregation from the bimah. And even if Marc was dissociating into the ether when he heard these words, sitting as far away from his father as possible, halfway to hiding deep within, the duty of being the Rabbi's son weighing heavy on his shoulders ... perhaps Jake and Steven listened, and they remembered for all of them:

“When a person commits a sin and does not turn in repentance, when that person forgets the sin, Hakadosh Baruch Hu remembers. When a person fulfills a commandment by doing a good deed, but forgets about it, Hakadosh Baruch Hu remembers. When a person commits a sin and later turns in repentance by remembering that sin, Hakadosh Baruch Hu grants atonement, and forgets the sin. But when a person fulfills a commandment and is constantly filled with self-praise because of it, Hakadosh Baruch Hu forgets it. What a person forgets, G-d remembers, and what a person remembers, G-d forgets.” -- The Hasidic Master Shmelke of Nikolsberg

Shana tovah and g’mar chatima tovah to the Moon Knight System. May they be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life.

#moon knight #marc spector #jake lockley #steven grant #rosh hashanah #moon knight comics #jed mackay #judaism tag

[la-pheacienne]

Continuing my post about Jaime and Rhaegar’s respective roles in the sack of KL, let’s talk about Jaime and Rhaegar’s last conversation which I didn’t mention in that post and it deserves its own analysis. I find it extremely funny how both (some) Lannister stans and (some) Targ stans seem to think that the last convo between Rhaegar and Jaime was actually like this :

"Jaime, a sack is about to happen very soon. Elia and my kids are in a high risk of getting brutally murdered inside the very capital by the orders of your father who has ghosted us for some time but is deep down an enemy planning all of this in secret. Meanwhile, my father is planning to blow up the entire city any minute now because reasons. I’m leaving you here, alone, to take care of all this and keep all these people, my wife, two kids, father and the people of the city, safe from harm. If you fail to do any of that at any point, you’re incompetent, a traitor and a coward. Now I have to leave to do my thing with the others, don’t forget your duty and your vows, bye".

While it was actually like this :

"Jaime, there’s a war, we are in a pretty tight position and I gotta go to battle taking some men with me. Unfortunately my father wants to keep you close because he believes Tywin will not turn against him this way, and he’s kind of insane so there is nothing we can do about it without risking an even bigger outburst. Give me some time to get out of this mess, and then I’ll come back and we’ll fix this. All this will be over soon, bye".

So the first reading of Jaime and Rhaegar’s last convo completely misses the mark in many ways.

Some Lannister stans are screaming crying throwing up that Rhaegar left a literal cHiLD with all tHiS rEsPoNSIbILIty he doesn’t give a FUCK about anyone how dare he what kind of tHOUGhT PrOCesS is that !!!! Some Targ stans say that Rhaegar gave specific orders to Jaime to protect his father, wife, kids and city against multiple and opposite threats and thus honor his vows, and Jaime failing to do that means he is basically a traitor and a coward. And incompetent.

None of this is correct, because this isn’t what Rhaegar asked him to do, at all. Rhaegar did not know, could not know, could not possibly conceive or imagine or suspect that a sack was about to happen at the orders of Tywin no less and that his family was in immediate danger in.the.very.capital. Nobody.knew. That is why this sack is so horrifying. Also he may have been well aware that his father was insane but not to the point that he could expect him to literally want to blow up his own city. That is a whole other level of insanity he very legitimately didn’t expect. Thirdly, Rhaegar had no power to take Jaime or his family away at this point (« I dare not » is not an epheumism. He literally dares not. We’re talking about Aerys here).

All he asked Jaime to do is wait for Rhaegar to come back and in the meantime try to keep his father at bay. That.is.literally.it. Rhaegar said : « Give me some time, I’ll come back and fix this » And Jaime did wait and he did hope that Rhaegar would come back, but Rhaegar didn’t come back not because he decided to go on vacation with his new chick but because he got killed. Nothing went according to plan, and Jaime had to take matters in his own hands.

So :

Rhaegar did not leave """""all that responsibility""""" to a """"literal child"""".  He left his father the king with the one member of the Kingsguard the king specifically wanted with him, and he told that member of the Kingsguard to literally, wait it out and be a KG. Apart from the fact that Rhaegar couldn’t take Jaime away because Aerys wanted him there, Jaime was not a random child, he was a member of the KG. Him staying with Aerys is technically what he was supposed to do as a member of the KG anyway, there is nothing abnormal or particularly stupid or outrageous or naive in this """"thought process"""", despite Jaime’s age. That order seemed both inevitable (it was Aerys’ order) and reasonable (Jaime was a KINGSguard after all), at the time.

Likewise, Rhaegar did not reasonably expect Jaime to go all Superman on both his father and Tywin’s men and save like the entire population of KL including his own family, all by himself. Again, what he actually told Jaime to do was literally wait for him to come back and try to keep his father at bay. He hoped Jaime’s presence would satiate his father until he comes back. That’s all. He did not know that Aerys would want to blow up KL, he did not know what Jaime would be forced to do and he did not expect the sack and the fact that his family would be murdered in the capital. He didn’t entrust Jaime with all these things simply because he wasn’t expecting these things. All these things were definitely not part of """the job""" Rhaegar gave him. Rhaegar’s GHOST saying to Jaime in his dreams "I left my wife and children in your hands" is manifesting Jaime’s guilt for not being able to save the family. It is a ghost in Jaime’s dream. This doesn’t mean that Rhaegar literally expected Jaime to prevent his father from blowing up the city and simultaneously protect his family from an entirely different threat that wasn’t even remotely a possibility then. Jaime failing to do all of the above by himself doesn’t make him a traitor, an incompetent loser or a coward.

The distortion of their actual convo led the entire fandom to engage in a strawman argument ad nauseam. Lannister stans are attacking Rhaegar for leaving "all this responsibility" to Jaime and Targ stans are attacking Jaime for failing to honor this responsibility, while "all this responsibility" was never part of their actual conversation to begin with because none them had the slightest idea of what was about to happen in the first place.

It is such a pity because this last convo between these two men is so tragic and haunting and beautiful, Jaime (grrm) describes his last visual memory of Rhaegar in an unusually poetic manner, and the fact that deep down he is still waiting and hoping for Rhaegar to come back makes me insane. « The day had been windy when he said farewell to Rhaegar, in the yard of the Red Keep. The prince had donned his night-black armor, with the three-headed dragon picked out in rubies on his breastplate ». « So the Prince of Dragonstone mounted up and donned his tall black helm, and rode forth to his doom ». « It is not Aerys I rue, it is Robert ». « I almost mistook you for Aegon the Conqueror ». « How much can a crown be worth when a crow can feast on a king? ». And instead of focusing on that and the symbolism of it all and that fact that it’s literally foreshadowing Dany’s or Jon’s « return » and their meeting with Jaime (Rhaegar will come back in the end in some form or another, all hope is not lost) we’re reiterating bad takes about a supposed conflict between them ad infinitum. It is boring, reductive and uninspired.

Be serious, read the text and stop spreading misinformation about either side. This is not a football game. We all love a fandom fight occasionally but it is important to actually engage with the themes of the story from time to time.

#i will not elaborate on jaime's guilt here (which also manifests itself during his accounting of the convo) #i did that in the other post #i will just say that yes #jaime FEELS that he failed rhaegar and it IS legitimate and anyone in his place with an iota of human decency would also feel that #this doesn't mean that it was his fault ORthat rhaegar literally expected him to do all that had to be done to prevent the final outcome #stop bad faith interpretations #stop twisting the story to fit a specific agenda #jaime lannister #rhaegar targaryen #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #robert's rebellion #sack of king's landing #aspa rambles

[toaarcan]

You ever think about how extremely traumatic the first two arcs of the Archie reboot would've been for all the characters?

They're just living their normal lives, when one day Sonic starts babbling about a completely different history where most of them were in extremely dire straits, and starts using Nicole to overwrite their extant memories with those of the previous universe.

Like, imagine being Sally in that situation. You come home from a dangerous but routine mission to find all your friends acting like you've just come back from the dead. They hand you your computer and suddenly your mind is filled with memories of a much different world to this one, a much darker and more painful one, filled with death and constant betrayal. Your last memories are now filled with weeks of watching your mechanised, vivisected body mindlessly serve your nemesis, and try to kill your friends and family. You were (probably) awake when Eggman carved you up with a blowtorch, while monologuing creepily about how smart you are, right before he crammed a cannon in where your brain should be. You almost died because Eggman designed your new form so badly that you ran out of power on your first mission as his pawn, only to be 'saved' by someone who loved you, and now doesn't exist.

But it's not just that. That would be bad enough. You also remember that this other version of you had a living mother. A mother who loved her and supported her and tried to be there for her. Yours has been dead since you were a child. You're still a child, but you've never felt less like one than you do right now. You had a brother too. He had a wife and a daughter, you had a niece and and a sister-in-law. They're gone. In fact, they're not just gone. They never existed. You have memories of people that never existed. All your friends apparently do. These other versions of them all had families. Here, they're all orphans, except for Rotor, who now remembers a world where his father wasn't an abusive bastard that serves Eggman out of some warped sense of social darwinism, something he can never have in this one.

On the other hand, your father, whom you know as a kind, generous, and reasonable man, was in this other world a controlling, emotionally abusive asshole, a major factor in a massive mental breakdown you endured and struggled with for months on end.

And then shortly afterwards, these memories begin to fade. Maybe you're okay with forgetting Mecha Sally. Maybe you're okay with forgetting that Nigel was ever Maximilian. But now you're also forgetting Alicia and Elias and Megan and Alexis, people who only existed in your memory. You won't remember how many people Eggman killed with the Super Genesis Wave. There will never be justice for them, and in a few short days, you won't even remember their names.

#Sonic #Sonic the Hedgehog #Archie Sonic #Post-Reboot Archie Sonic #Sally Acorn #Meta #Sally should be allowed to hit Eggman repeatedly with a large axe #She deserves it #So does he #A part of me is somewhat glad that we never got a proper official reaction to the Mecha Sally arc from Sally herself #It allows me to envision it entirely through a fanfic lens where her response would not be stymied by being in a licensed book for kids #If I want to sit here and imagine that the first thing she did after waking up was put out a ''Kill on sight'' order on Eggman #I can do that and SEGA can't stop me #There's no official version where she's sad about it for a few issues and then everything goes back to normal #Really the reboot was a blessing in disguise #I don't think the book could've survived a revert to status quo without fundamentally breaking #The FF were hit with *way* too much trauma for that

[tycarstairs]

ok i need to talk about alastair for a (long) moment bc i love him.

this got a lot longer than i expected it to btw so ig it’s just for the alastair stans bc it’s basically just a character study lmao

first of all, there’s obviously this:

“I wanted you to have a childhood, a thing I never had. I wanted you to be able to love and respect your father as I never could. Every time he made a mess, who do you think had to clean it up? Who told you Father was ill or sleeping when he was drunk? Who went out and fetched him when he passed out in a gin palace and smuggled him in through the back door? Who learned at ten years old to refill the brandy bottles with water each morning so no one would notice the levels had sunk—?”

like he put so much energy into making sure cordelia could grow up loving and adoring her father in a way he was never able to. from age ten he was hiding his father’s alcoholism, even before he started at the academy.

“Alastair never acknowledging any of it, laughing it off, turning her attention in some other direction, always, so she did not dwell. So she would not have to.”

and then he got to the academy and had bullying and beatings added on top of all that.

“They … let’s just say that by the end of the first week, I had been made to understand my place in the hierarchy, and I had the bruises to remind me should I ever forget.”

like… does this excuse bullying? no, it doesn’t, but it does explain it, especially after he had taken all that for a year:

“After about a year of being knocked around,” Alastair went on, “I realized I could either become one of the bullies, or suffer for the rest of my school days.”

and as he says himself no, he didn’t beat anyone, didn’t get his hands bloody, but yes, he was a bully to save himself from the beatings.

and again, this does not excuse the bullying because of course that’s still bad. i just feel like a lot of people really fucking underestimate how much growing up with an alcoholic parent can affect you. especially when 1) you actually know about it, and 2) you’re the one who has to deal with it from age ten, and 3) they verbally attack you when they’re drunk (as we also saw when elias talked to james)

and then we get to this:

“Then you lot arrived, a bunch of boys from famous families, too well brought up to understand at first what went on far from home. Expecting the world would embrace you. That you would be treated well. As I never had been.” Alastair pushed back a lock of hair with a shaking hand. “I suppose I hated you because you were happy. Because you had each other—friends you could like and admire—and I had nothing like that. You had parents who loved each other.”

and does this excuse the way he treated them? again, no. but once again, it does explain it. alastair had dealt with so damn much since he was a kid so of course he’s gonna feel jealousy. alastair isn’t white, he’s never been able to go anywhere and expected that the world would embrace him as he put it, so that’s yet another thing he was more than likely jealous about.

and he knows what he did was wrong. he knows there’s no excuse, he knows they would all be well within their right to hate him for the rest of their lives if they wanted to, and i feel like so many people forget that?? alastair never expected to be forgiven for any of this.

and then we get to his sexuality and charles.

if i did the math right, alastair would’ve been either 16 or freshly 17 when he started dating a 23-year-old charles and to quote cc:

“it was a bad and unhealthy relationship, and i think the age gap is part of that.”

anyway, there’s one quote i’ve had in my mind ever since chog, and it’s when alastair asks charles, “If this is not what you came for, then why are you here?”

this implies that charles is only ever there for one thing. like, alastair is in love with this man and he wants to show that but charles isn’t letting him.

not to mention that charles is also dismissing alastair’s wishes:

“And I thought that you would agree to marry too.”

“That I would marry?” Alastair sprang to his feet. “I have told you over and over, Charles, even if I did not have you, I would never marry some poor woman and deceive her as to my love and regard.”

alastair having to tell charles over and over again that he’s not marrying a woman and charles still assuming that he will like… sir 🤨 he said no 🤨

anyway. then there’s to how he felt about his sexuality:

“Father’s weakness is not your weakness.”

The fire in the grate had nearly burned down. Alastair’s eyes were luminous in the dark. “I have my own weaknesses, as you well know.”

and after this when cordelia tells him that love isn’t a weakness, he responds with “isn’t it?”

like this man is comparing his own sexuality to the way his father treated him. you cannot tell me he was always okay with being gay because he so clearly was not, especially not with charles trying to keep him hidden and trying to make him marry a woman.

and after elias dies:

“I can’t mourn,” he said in a choked voice. “I cannot mourn my own father. What does that say about me?”

his relationship with his father was so ruined to the point where he couldn’t mourn him because he wasn’t able to love him in the way cordelia was, likely because he mourned his father already when he was 10.

and there’s also some of cordelia’s observations in choi:

Some months ago Cordelia had learned the emotional cost of Alastair’s interventions, the invisible scars he worked so diligently to conceal.”

the emotional costs being this:

“She knew Alastair was not always like this—she knew he could be kind, sweet, vulnerable even. She knew her father had broken his son’s heart a dozen different ways, and Alastair was doing the best he could with the pieces.”

like. elias has been breaking alastair’s heart over and over basically in every possible way since he was at least 10 so he’s really just doing what he can to stitch himself together at this point, the exact reason he put up walls.

“But it didn’t help for Alastair to behave like this, to retreat behind a cold facade as cutting as glass.

The way James retreated behind the Mask.”

alastair is basically just one big defense mechanism.

we also have thomas’ observations about alastair:

“There was only one other person Thomas had known with eyes like that. Not golden eyes, but dark, and so sad—he had always been drawn to that dichotomy, he thought, of the cruelty of Alastair’s words, and the sadness with which he said them. Sorrowful eyes and a vicious tongue. Tell me, he had always wanted to say, what broke your heart, and let such bitterness spill out?”

the answer to his question: elias.

elias broke alastair’s heart and left him to respond to everything with defense mechanisms.

alastair is such a complex character and he’s also one of my absolute favorites because of that. his relationship with his father is so realistic, and him distancing himself from everyone else because of his father is also so realistic. i just love this character with my whole heart ok

this is so long but istg i could write a whole essay about this man and ykw? maybe i will.

#putting my english degree to good use once again #when people ask me in the future ‘so what do u do with your english degree?’ #i will simply say ‘i write long ass tumblr posts about my fav characters’ #alastair carstairs #cordelia carstairs #elias carstairs #thomas lightwood #thomastair #the last hours #tlh #shadowhunters #chain of gold #chain of iron #chain of thorns

[pearldog30]

David (hesh) Walker Head Cannon.

Alright, so. this was what y'all voted for that I do Hesh. So here's our bb boy hesh! Hope you all enjoy the head cannon on our boy 🖤

(also this hc is before he lost everybody. Because I genuinely can't bring myself to do that hc right now...)

Other works 👉 Master list

Warnings| a little tiny mention of PTSD.

I'm sorry but I can just imagine this man singing this song to you on your wedding day/anniversary 😭 (Love song say You won't let go by James Arthur) hesh can low key sing. no one can convince me otherwise!

I feel like hesh has only had 2 or 3 short-term girlfriends in the past, and each time he legit thought they were going to spend the rest of their life together, but they just ended up cheating on him or using him. and so when he met you he was very standoffish, and did not trust you for a while. because he thought you were like the others, so when you showed him that you only wanted HIM! When I tell you this man fell head over heels for you... It's like as if someone put the world in his hands. Because well.... in his eyes, they really did.

the very first person he introduced you to when you guys got together was Riley. This man was so nervous to introduce you to his goddamn dog, it was adorable. and when Riley liked you it was a weight lifted off his shoulders.

Since hesh's family is very VERY! important to him, it's important for them to like you too. So when he realized that you were the only one for him. he practically ran to his dad's house with you In his arms to introduce you to anybody. And when his dad/brother actually ended up liking you a lot. it just made him so madly in love with you.

out of all the guys when he's not working. he is the most sweetest, and genuine person ever! Which surprises a lot of people.

Since he grew up in San Diego he obviously is a big surfer. so if you're into surfing as well that is major bonus points for you. but if you're not, don't worry. he'll teach you, he'll definitely try to show you some tricks. And OHHH BOY! if Logan comes along, you might as well forget learning. cuz it's going to be a competition between those 2 on who can do better.

Slow dances with you in the kitchen. (although It's more like holding you in his arms and just standing there)

Since it's pretty obvious that hesh is a major Hot Head. (I mean just look at all the times he's blown up at everybody) so before he met you, he had quite the temper. And after y'all have been together for a while. you've noticed how much he's calmed down, like his temper is nowhere near as bad. To the point that even Merrick has said something about it "oh damn it looks like we're losing our boy. what has that woman done to you?" Merrick jokingly says, but he low-key grateful he's not as hot-headed anymore.

Now when it comes to day to day life he's a little... dumb. Like he's always calling his dad asking him if the difference between laundry detergent is the reason why his work-clothes have holes in them/asking if he should go to the emergency room because he's SOMEHOW sliced his leg open. so when you came into the picture just know you made Elias's blood pressure go down so much. you saved him from a heart attack.

I'm sorry but this MAN has a major sweet tooth. especially on the nights he can't sleep, so you'll often find him in the kitchen eating candy or some sugary shit. and then he complain on why he doesn't have abs later that week.

Hesh is a low-key hopeless romantic. Although he sucks ass at being romantic, but he tries his hardest. give our boy a break!

We know that hesh has PTSD but he certainly doesn't let it show. He's probably one of the very few guys that has it somewhat under control. But that doesn't mean he doesn't get the occasional panic attacks/nightmares. And when he does he usually goes very quiet, which is unlike him. That's when you know he's having a rough time, and your sign to step back and let him come to you when he's ready.

Now that doesn't mean he doesn't want your help, it's just 1 time in a past when you were trying to calm him down during one of his panic attacks, he absolutely snapped at you, and went off, It was the most angriest you've ever seen him. ever since then he keeps his distance when he is going through something like that, because he doesn't want to take it out on you. And hurt you. He still really hasn't forgiven himself from the last time. so he tries his best to protect you from it.

Secretly has a candy stash in his barracks room when he's deployed.

And lastly he CANNOT! be trusted to be in the kitchen when you're cooking..... By the time whatever you're making is done, half of it's already gone. You know those 5-year-olds that get excited when you have like brownie batter or something like that. yeah that's him, and he manages to get it all over his face in the process. The man is somehow a 5-year-old in a 27 year old body. you often question how Elias made it all these years.

Love language. Quality time, and words of affirmation. (I'm sorry but you cannot tell me this man's knees go WEAK when you tell him you're proud of him.)

And that's going to be the end for this thank y'all so much for voting! I hope you enjoyed our chaotic, angry boy. As always I hope you have a good day/night wherever you are. reblogs, comments always appreciated 🖤

Tags| @macravishedbymactavish @alexkellersleg @walker33961 and if you would like to be added just message me or comment.

#cod #call of duty ghosts #ghosts cod #hesh #david hesh walker #david walker #call of duty #hesh walker #hesh headCannon #call of duty headcanons #call of duty ghosts headcanons #head cannon #ghosts #cod ghosts #for you #fyp #hesh walker headCannon #David Walker headCannon #Youtube

[romanarose]

Ok this isn’t an end of the world thing with Marc’s character but it slightly bugs me when fic writers act like Marc’s childhood was never good, that Wendy was always abusive. Marc’s childhood can be split in to before and after Randall’s death. The after us usually right on

The before is what a lot of people seem to forget. Before, we see Marc and Randall in a bright, happy backyard. A happy loving family. A family that did cookouts, probably had family dinners on Shabbat, and was probably fairly normal. Wendy probably took care of Marc when he was sick, sang him to sleep, took him to the beach. I’m not saying this is necessarily worse than living your entire childhood in abuse, but I think it creates a different characterization for Marc.

Marc isn’t someone who never felt love or happiness or family. He absolutely did. And it was taken away. In Marc’s head, not only did he kill his brother, not only dies he think he deserved what What his mom did, but in his mind, he destroyed what was previously a happy family. Wendy’s love was obviously conditional from the start, and I don’t doubt that she was likely flawed as a mother, but I don’t think it’s a complete understanding of Marc to act like he never felt motherly love. I think it’s probably fair to think Wendy favored Randall (anyone with younger siblings knows how this goes) but I think it has a very different effect on your life when the person you spent 8 or so years trusting with everything, suddenly completely turns after something you perceive as your fault

Additionally, (sorry, I write a lot of essays in college, this is how I write now) Elias is shown to continue to treat Marc with love, perhaps over compensating for Wendy. He tries to create some semblance of normalcy for Marc (I.e. the birthday) but I think this has another effect on Marc. Here his dad who is showering him with love, but Marc still isn’t safe. Elias let’s the abuse happen.

Marc can never feel safe bc through all this, he learned the people who love you can turn on you, love is conditional, love will let you be hurt, and you are never safe in love.

Jesus Christ I sound like an insane person huh

#moon knight #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #moon knight thoughts #Marc Spector thoughts #child abuse #Marc Spector trauma

[thepictureofsdr]

“controversial opinion alastair carstairs has potentially had the hardest life out of any of the main characters in the shadowhunters universe so far” now you may be thinking to yourself “WHOA tumblr user thepictureofsdr back it up there, that is an incredibly bold, broad, and obnoxious take” HOWEVER i have a case to make.

(disclaimer this isn’t taking into account the villains or immortal characters while i personally understand cringe teenager psychology i cannot personally understand the psychology of people over 300 nor those with murderous urges, im not finished my degree. one more disclaimer in the notes)

there is one singular thing that i think sets alastair apart from any of his other mc shadowhunter colleagues: the fact that he has been alone his whole life.

you can pluck any mc from any cassie series and create a web of support for them, whether it be family or friends, whether the characters believe they have that support system or deserve it or not, that support is STILL THERE. at all points in TMI, clary, jace, alec, izzy, and simon were all there for each other. alec was pretending to believe jace was evil in coa? izzy was staunchly defending jace. clary had a falling out with the others? she had simon. this pattern continues into the books, with gideon and gabriel being forgiven by institute and allowed a place to heal, with jem and will each going through hell but having each other and then having tessa, with the blackthorn siblings having each other to fall back on (including emma), with kit finding a home in LA and then with the carstairs, with the merry thieves considering each other brothers, with cordelia spilling her heart out to lucie, hell even grace had jesse. obviously i haven’t named every character but you get the trend im going for. every character has had SOMEONE, a friend, a significant other, a parabatai, a sibling, the rare parent.

then we have alastair. he had a roughly normal childhood for a few years despite the moving around, having a healthy relationship with his baby sister. but then he turned 10, something changed and he lost everything. on top of having moved around a lot and not having a single stable friend, in a way, he lost his sister and parents. it’s impossible to have a carefree sibling relationship when you’re actively giving up your life and time to protect them. it is by no means cordelias fault that their relationship was lost, but its a sad truth. he loses that reliable open sibling relationship, he loses that relationship with his father, and his mother ceases to be a mother and becomes more a coworker in this panic to keep the family afloat. by taking on this adult role so early on in life he loses the innocence and unconditional reliability of those relationships, and he seemingly never turns to them for comfort ever again, with cordelia only finding out about part of his emotional ordeals in cog, and even then he doesn’t burden her with everything. with this breakdown of the parental units and relationship as well as being isolated, alastair also loses his only example of what a healthy romantic relationship should look like, he has no real idea how a partner should act, which we know will come into play later. let’s also not forget how the one family member that could’ve helped, jem, was actively pushed away by elias who raised his children to not trust silent brothers for his own personal selfish needs.

then he goes to school, desperate for friends and what does he get? a year of verbal and physical bullying, with rumours being spread about his family and bruises slowly covering him. he then has to spend years pretending he’s awful just to survive and by some miracle he gets out and makes 1 (one) singular friend who then publicly friend breaks up with him by threatening to throw him in a river at an engagement party attended by what i assume is the entire enclave (thank you matthew). THEN (yes this tragedy is still going) we get to one of the most unsettling relationships in the series, mostly because the bizarreness of it is just… never addressed? we get alastair and charles who were together in 1902 when they wouldve been about 18 and 23, meaning we got a man who would’ve graduated college by then going after someone who would have just graduated high school… on top of that it was an incredibly toxic relationship with charles making him feel as though he were worthless and a dirty secret and centered the entire relationship around him, his own schedule, his needs, his wants, never making time for anything on alastair’s terms. on top of the love sick teenager syndrome, alastair had never personally witnessed a healthy relationship so on top of that AND being desperate for the closeness and intimacy and support he’d gotten from no one before, he had no way of knowing he was being treated badly, he didn’t know any better until much later, after witnessing charles propose to not one but TWO GIRLS while still keeping alastair sidelined.

so to summarize, alastair has never had a lasting, appropriate, healthy, unconditional, relationship with 1. a parent 2. a sibling 3. a friend 4. a significant other 5. family. he has never been loved for the sake of being loved, hes never had someone care for him because he simply exists, everyone wants something from him and he’s never felt what its like to be truly cared for. for every trauma he has endured, for every night he went out as a child to find his drunken father passed out in a bar to drag him home, for every beating he suffered as a school boy, for every friendship that crumbled to nothing, for every time his only relationship used him and sent him to sleep unsure of his worth, he didn’t have a single person. there was no jem to assure him that no matter his faults he deserved love, no cecily to hand out forgiveness and remind him to not dwell on the past, to just move forward, no julian to turn to when he couldn’t hold up anymore, no izzy to tell him he deserves better or to point out the flaws in how he’s treated, no alec to let him rest and defend him, he has never experienced those healthy dynamics.

not only has he been dealt an awful set of cards, hes never had a single person to help him through life to the point where hes not only alone but the few relationships he does experience actively cause him more problems and pain. mind you this post doesn’t even really address the main traumas he endures this is just the breakdown of his relationships so just mentally add on his MAIN story to all of this… everything elias made him endure, all the bullshit the thieves throw in his face, every time hes given up his life for the sake of someone else… this is just the background to all of that.

in short i think alastair has had one of the hardest lives maybe even the hardest, not because i think hes suffered the worst traumas of all or i think he wins the sadness games, but because he has never had a single person to help him through what he’s experienced, to love him because he exists, never had a single person to care for him through it all and not only is he aware of this tragedy, he thinks he deserves it. he pushes people away, keeps his walls up, thinks he doesn’t deserve love from others, thinks he is too damaged and twisted to burden someone with his existence, and despite his genuinely kind soul, he still thinks he’s cruel and awful and deserving of nothing, but are we surprised? its not like he has anyone to tell him otherwise.

#disclaimer this is lighthearted i dont agree with pain olympics i just want to draw attention to the hell alastair has been forced to endure #obviously opinions can vary this is just my personal take on the series and as someone who heavily values having people around me i think #perpetuatal aloneness would make a life harder than most #i personally feel all traumas are easier to handle knowing youre not alone but if you dont agree? amazing please tell me your opinion #JUST PLEASE DONT BE MEAN TO ME I AM S E N S I T I V E #chain of iron #chain of thorns #the last hours #chain of gold #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc #tlh #the infernal devices #tid #alastair carstairs #thomastair #thomas lightwood #sdr hc #sdr essay

[ghoulangerlee]

*taps on shoulder* hi, i wanna hear trans dad copia thoughts!

they are honestly not very happy thoughts 99% of the time though Copia does try. Under the read more just in case no one wants to read about trans dad Copia trying his best

Copia becomes a dad, he's a little careless, thinks that being on T will stop him from getting pregnant (it doesn't). (He's very young at this time, maybe in his late twenties, early thirties by now. He doesn't want to get rid of the baby, because part of him hopes he can keep it. He wants to be a father, he wants to be a parent so bad.)

He has to give the kid up because of his status in the church, the Clergy are already so firm with him, hard on him for every little thing, and while Sister does try to make things easier for him, she can't stop everything. The Clergy are not very nice people, just because they're the Clergy of a Satanic church does not absolve them from being bigots and difficult about certain things.

So, he gives the child up; a son, he doesn't even get to name the child, but Sister promises that she'll make sure he goes to someone who'll love and raise him like their own. She'll make sure this child is taken care of. (Sort of as a penance for her own sins of leaving Copia to be raised by the Siblings of the church along with the other orphaned children.)

He never forgets about this child, because how could he? When he held his son in his arms so shortly after giving birth. It's something that, for as long as he lives, he'll never feel that type of love he felt right then and there.

So, he lives on, works with Sister silently to funnel some money towards the child, he's not allowed to know who the family is, or what the child's name is. He's not allowed to see photos, to know what he looks like.

But Sister promises that every single holiday, every single birthday, she sends money to the family, letting them know who it's from, that he still thinks about them. That he's still present despite not being present.

When Copia becomes a Cardinal and subsequently the leader of the Ghost project, he becomes the busiest he's ever been, trying to find the corruption within the church, trying to follow Satan to the best of his ability, trying to do everything.

Including still being there for the child he had to give up.

He does, eventually talk about it, to his ghouls specifically, and like, they're not human, they're different. They start bringing forth questions about why he had to give his son up. Why he has to stay away from him.

By the time Copia reaches Papacy, he's in his fifties and he's missed a solid twenty years of his son's life.

And, it's in his own moment of weakness, against Sister's wishes, that he reaches out. He finds the files on Sister's desk one day while in her office looking for something, snaps a photo of the contents, the phone numbers, email addresses. There's no photos of his son in there, but there's descriptions and various letters.

He almost wants to take them and read them for himself. But he can't.

He has the contact information and that's enough. It's enough.

And, he reaches out to the family first; his son, the kid he gave up is in college now, studying theology of all things. Interested in religion and culture. So knowledge hungry in the same ways that Copia was when he was in his twenties.

The family is ecstatic that he's reached out.

Thanking him for all the years of supporting him. For the money and the gifts. The little things. He wasn't there physically, but his presence was so great that it almost felt like he was there.

They give him a phone number, it's his son's. His son, Elias. He finds out his name from Elias' mother who promises to send Copia photos, many photos of them over the years.

Elias has his nose, his lips, the softness in his face. His hair is only a little darker than Copia's had been before the gray had taken over.

He's got the eye.

Something that makes his breath leave him. Stark white staring back at him from the photograph he's looking at.

His son.

#trans dad copia #my headcanons #luci :')

[my-brain-threw-up]

König SFW Headcanons

Background:

Real name is Elias Beckenbauer.

He’s 29 years old and from the Innsbruck area. His birthday is November 10th, making him a Scorpio.

Has a big extended family, but he is an only child.

His parents are both teachers at a secondary school. His dad teaches biology and his mom teaches literature.

He was raised around tons of younger cousins that are like little siblings to him.

Very close with his grandma on his dad’s side because she used to babysit him a lot.

His family is nominally Catholic, but most are not practicing, including him. Still attends the odd Christmas mass if he’s home for the holidays, mostly to make grandma happy.

Gets his height from his mom’s side. His dad’s family are averagely sized.

His constant growth made him gawky for most of his adolescence.

He didn’t fill out and grow into his height until his very late teens, mostly because he started working out and eating right when he joined the military.

His parents did not initially accept his choice to join the military, wishing he would choose a safer line of work. They relented, though, and are very proud of his accomplishments.

Appearance:

He’s 6'7'' or 201 cm tall. (6'10" is not technically canon, and visually, he looks about the same height as one of my friends who is 6'6" so I rounded up)

Has very dark brown, thick hair.

Used to have long hair as a teen. Shaved it off when he joined the military. Now he lets the top grow out a bit.

Got that 90s heartthrob, Dimitri from Anastasia, middle part going on. Has an undercut to stay cool under his mask.

Freckles and sunburns easily. But he eventually tans once the burn goes away.

Keeps his face clean shaven, finds facial hair too itchy and hot.

Has a scar across the middle of his mouth from accidentally being slashed with a knife during training. The other guy felt really bad.

Had acne as a teen. It's mostly cleared up now but he gets a breakout every so often from stress. Has a few clusters of acne scars on his back.

The front of his hips have some old, faded stretch marks from his extreme growth spurts.

True to form, he's got some serious muscles. Absolute tree trunk legs.

Has kinda crooked teeth. His canines flare out slightly from his other teeth.

Wears predominately simple t-shirt and pants combos in dark colors. He does like jewelry, though. Especially rings that he can fiddle with.

Pierced ears. Wears small silver rings in them when he remembers to.

Interests:

Favorite color is forest green.

Will listen to most kinds of music, but likes metal and industrial music the most. Rammstein, Type O Negative, Deftones, and KMFDM fan.

Though he doesn’t like regular crowds, he loves concerts. The loud music and the energy of the collective excitement is somewhat regulating for him. It gets his sillies out in a place where it feels acceptable.

He prefers to be in the bleachers instead of the pit, though, since he doesn't want to block the view.

He likes to cook, mostly standard German fare he learned from grandma. Makes a very good Kaiserschmarren, since that was his favorite growing up.

Coffee over tea. Treats himself to a fancy, flavored coffee periodically.

Parents got him into skiing as a child, both downhill and cross-country. Was a member of the ski club at his secondary school. Loved that he could cover his face with goggles and a balaclava. It made him feel protected from people’s eyes.

Got into marksmanship because he wanted to ski a biathlon. He has participated in three so far, getting fourth place as his personal best.

Also tried out ice hockey as a kid, but found that he didn’t like contact sports. Still enjoys watching it, though.

Extras (mostly funny):

Very clean, but couldn't organize to save his life.

Like he doesn't let dirty clothes pile up, but babes definitely lives out of laundry baskets because he forgets to fold it.

Snorts when he laughs.

Extensive mug collection.

*slightly NSFW* Batshit feral sense of humor. Definitely owns the "Don't bully me. I'll cum," t-shirt.

Owns a weighted blanket.

Uses the :3 emoji whenever possible because he thinks it's funny.

Unbeatable at Mario Kart.

#könig #könig call of duty #mw2 #könig headcanons #fanfiction #mw2 fanfic #cod fanfic #cod mw2 #hcs #könig fanfiction #sfw

[thought-42]

Critical Role, 1350 words, Laerryn, Dweomer

Pounded this out over my lunch break and posting it between meetings, pray to the mobile formatting gods

----

The second year after Quay and Laerryn's engagement, the Court of Workings asks for a six percent annual funding increase and gets an Aeormaton instead.

"This is called regifting and I've been told it's rude," Laerryn yells after the Magisterial aid who had delivered the message, and then she forgets about it entirely because Patia wants her to go present at some bullshit philosophy conference in Zemniaz, and Quay wants her to attend a charity event for starving orphans (she assumes), and Evandrin keeps calling her to wax rhapsodic about Zerxus' arms and also remind her that Elias has a birthday coming up and attendance at the party is not optional.

So, a month later, when Calum requests she actually emerge from under the battery housing where she's doing repairs instead of just talking to her through the access hatch, her first reaction upon seeing the giant automaton is to drop her multi-tool and begin the somatics for Firebolt.

"Architect," Calum says, pointedly, "this is the Aeormaton we were told about last month. It-- apologies, she's just arrived on one of the supply ships."

Laerryn picks up her multi-tool and her dignity, and almost holds out a hand to the automaton to shake before she thinks probably that's not a thing they do and also it's kind of a weird thing for her to do as well.

"Great," she says. "What... do you... do?"

The Aeormaton inclines her head slightly. "What do you need me to do? I'm a skilled artificer, but I've been told I'm a quick learner."

It takes a moment to process. "You're a what?"

"A quick learner," says the Aeormaton, with the distinct implication that it's a quality only one of them possesses.

"Well," says Calum, taking a few steps backwards. "I believe this is where I leave you."

He scuttles off before Laerryn can call him a traitor to his face.

"Right," says Laerryn. "Um. Ok. You're very tall, and I'm not used to looking up at people. Or... things. People. Robots? What do I call you?"

"I am an Aeormaton," she says. "My name is Dweomer. I'd imagine you may call me that."

"Do you name yourselves? Why only one name? Do the naming conventions change with who produces you?"

"In order? Yes; because a family name would make the soul touched acknowledge the potential for social connections among Aeormatons, making the fiction of charmingly selfless talking equipment harder to maintain, which might make someone uncomfortable; and no, but also there is only one... "producer"."

"God, I hate Aeor," says Laerryn. "Do we need to do a thing about your legal status?"

"Do you know the citizenship status of other Aeormatons in Avalir?"

"I can find out. I don't really have time to support a revolution, but we can make it work if we need to. What's your artificing specialty?"

"Primarily weapons development. But as I said, I am adaptable."

"What an ominous fucking answer coming from Aeor," says Laerryn. "Let's talk about conversion of raw ether to kinetic energy through a mechanical lens. Whatever wizard bullshit you've learned, forget it, it's quantum physics time."

"I arrived here as cargo. I would not like to remain as such."

"Sometimes all it takes is one case to set a precedent. That sounds way easier than a revolution, I know people."

Laerryn pulls out a notebook and starts scribbling furiously. "I'm making you a book list. You're useless to me until you've read all of this. Is it true Aeor is developing mutant attack trees?"

"If it were, I certainly wouldn't be permitted to share that information with you. Are these books available at a standard academic library or are they the more... discreet sort of literature?"

"I hate that implication a lot. Mutant trees are acceptable. Banning books is just obnoxious."

"That's a word."

"Start with the city's admin staff-- it's possible you'll be able to get your status changed through a municipal records request. If not, you have to go to our fucking Magister, who won't do anything, and then come to me and I'll give you the name of a decent lawyer. I'll stand as witness or support or whatever if you need at any point in the process. Don't send me memos, I don't read them. I'll add you to my masks if I still like you in six months."

"I appreciate your support, Architect Coramar."

"Yeah, well, I appreciate your shitty situation. And your sentience, that's interesting."

*

A year later, Dweomer tells her, "That first day we met. You would have been within your rights to have me decommissioned for the things I said."

Laerryn very carefully sets her coffee cup down. "Did I pass the test?"

"Yes."

Laerryn is having a feeling and she doesn't know what to do with it. She stands up. "Come on, there's one more project I want to show you. Nobody else knows about this one."

*

"Listen, fuck off," says Laerryn, laughing and clutching at her fourth stupid pink cocktail thing, "I could have other friends. You don't know me."

"The robot doesn't count," Zerxus says, and Laerryn throws her drink, glass and all, in his face.

*

Dweomer overhears Nydas call Laerryn 'Your Eminence' one time. And one time is all it takes for her to adopt the form of address. When Nydas says it it’s respectful and fond and a little of that pirate captain flirt. When Dweomer says it it's an even split between awe and teasing, because Laerryn is doomed to be surrounded by assholes with too many feelings.

*

The whole group is down on the far edges of the Labyrinth, Laerryn and Calum and Dweomer and the twins, trying to figure out what keeps weakening the effect of the Broomstone in this area. Quay's there, too, because he stopped by to bring her breakfast and then never left. She's pretty sure he's hiding from at least one member of the Ring of Silver.

Laerryn's hyperfocused on the calculations she’s working on, a detection spell running in the back of her head as she paces slowly along the wall. When the generic Chancellery guard melts out of a nearby hallway to demand they explain their business in this area, she waves a hand dismissively at him, tossing words in his direction absently as she notes the power fluctuations. She knows she hasn't made a sentence, but Quay will explain what she means.

She does hear Quay's voice, charming and boisterous, but she also hears another, soft and courteous and unyielding. It doesn't click until hours later that Dweomer understands how her brain works well enough to translate for her in the same way that her fiancé does.

*

One of Evandrin's knights --an elf who had been entering training shortly before Laerryn dropped out and had later mentored Evandrin-- is the first person who actually thinks to tell Laerryn that Evandrin is dead. It's been six hours. She thought he was on an upswing. She'd thought it was safe to go to work for a few short hours, just long enough to check on things.

She's frozen after the knight leaves. She can't finish the repairs she's in the midst of; can’t explain to her staff that she's going to be gone for a while; can't make sure all the records of her Leywright are hidden beneath even more layers of security; can't get herself away from anyone else so she can have a meltdown in private; can't call Quay or the rest of the Ring of Brass to tell them.

Dweomer can.

*

Laerryn's on her fourth day awake and her seventeenth hypothesis regarding the instability of objects returning to this plain via the Leywright when Dweomer says "My application for full citizenship and all the rights that covers is being decided on today."

"Mmhm," says Laerryn.

There's a long pause. "I-- it would be very meaningful to me, personally, if you were there."

'politically, too,' the tiny Quay voice in her head offers.

"I of course understand that you are occupied with far more important work--"

Laerryn drags her attention away from her work like scraping her brain across sandpaper. She stands, and looks up at Dweomer.

"I said I'd make time for the revolution," she says, and what she means is "I said I’d make time for you."

#tumblrfic tag #critical role #laerryn coramar seelie #cr exu tag

[thewanderersoftyria]

"When the sun loves the moon

Even the ocean feels her pull

Oh, and the stars align every night

To spell out their love in tiny bright lights

Oh, when the sun loves the moon

Never touching but never far

Oh, at the break of day

A summer's ray

A moonlit night that casts away

Their love remains, their love remains~"

TW for general GW2 Spoilers below!

Dear Aurene,

It has been approximately one year since your departure. And 6 months since my consequential retirement. And weirdly enough...

Things have been okay.

Fennic and Rosalynn have been getting close, mayhaps even engaged soon- and me and Morwen have been spending time catching up on everything that happened in Nayos.

This has been the first time in a while I've taken a moment to sit down and write, though to be honest it wasn't because I was particularly busy. I've just been...living.

Living my life.

It's...weird. Of course I stress all the time if retiring was the best idea, though Morwen always assures me Wysteria and Winxxie have everything handled. It doesn't stop the feeling, but I've been learning to medetate with Tove to take my mind off of it for a while. I actually plan on soon going to a small family retreat with her family... our family.

It still feels weird to write that, I'll be honest.

I'm still excited nonetheless though, it will be nice to get away without worrying about the fate of the world for once.

...I still miss you though.

I see you daily, in the wind and trees, in the sparkle of the stars in the night sky... And always, I am captured and enraptured by the beauty of it all. I come to visit often, in Cantha, to make sure you are resting well.

...I hope you're resting well.

Even now, I comfort Morwen often about your absence... I've been thinking of suggesting something huge, though I'm...a little scared to, to be honest. I'm not sure what she'll think.

Tyria has been slowly moving forward since. People are actually intrigued by the idea of a sylvari goddess like Wysteria, the treaty is almost complete...the world is slowly moving forward.

I know you'd be happy to hear that, at least.

I'm trying to move forward too, no matter how difficult it may be some days. But the idea of disappointing you is a much scarier thought than clinging to the hope of being needed again in the near future.

I'll...try and write a letter, every year, to dedicate to you. Though who knows how many you'll recieve by the time you wake up again. Hah!

...We'll be okay, Aurene. You can rest easy, knowing that. We'll be okay.

Ah. I almost forgot I have a date in a few minutes! Haha, you'd scold me for being so forgetful...I'll keep in touch the best I can.

From your champion, your primscion, and your family,

Elias Rainbloom

#[ elias.txt ] #[ story references ] #[ spoilers.txt ] #guild wars 2 #gw2 #guild wars sylvari #soto spoilers #eod spoilers #gw2 spoilers #HI IM NOT DEAD #Anyway have some post retirement art of Eli and one of his girlfriends

[friend-of-a-cat]

Etrian Odyssey Nexus Guild - Seekers (Maginia Branch)

Here's my main EON guild, named after my EO3/EO2U/EO5 guilds: Seekers! They are my children and I love them. Some of their colours here look a bit different to their in-game portraits because I changed them, but I honestly can't be bothered importing them (I'll probably update this post sometime in the future with art I've made, anyway - I'll also add my guild card later, too). I'm also following my own timeline of events, which I've laid out in this post (EO5 is set right before Nexus in this timeline). Below you will find the gang's portraits and some bios I've written for them!

Sage | She/her | Hero (front line) | 21 years old | INFJ | Capricorn

Sage is the only child of a Lagaardian noble family, and was taught how to wield a sword by her father at a young age - he wanted her to follow in his footsteps as a great leader. Her parents are very overbearing, sheltering her for most of her life, and keep trying to set her up with potential future partners (all nobles themselves, of course), though she's aroace. She left home in order to escape all of this, as well as to learn more about the world and its people, deciding to hop on the flying city to Lemuria and join a guild, begrudgingly becoming its leader and naming it after two famed adventuring guilds she admires.

She’s very determined, dedicated and gallant, always trying to help those in need. She's also good at resolving arguments and solving problems due to her friendly and understanding nature, and often comes up with plans of attack. She's also very diligent in her training, often forgetting to eat or rest due to her intense focus.

Sage loves reading, and, when she's not training, she's often found, alone, with a hot drink and her nose in books of fable and legend. She's facinated by monsters and mythological creatures, and keeps a log of every one she and the rest of the guild encounters (she's also captivated by dragons, and wants to see a real one someday). She also loves cats, and is desperately trying to befriend Vivian's cat, Merlin, who seems uninterested in her (she is very upset by this). She thinks Persephone, the princess of Maginia, is very cool, and looks up to her.

Sage is also extremely tired, and definitely needs a break. Her guild does not allow this, however, as most of its members are very loud and reckless. She still loves them all, though - they're like her found family.

She shares map-making duty with Elias and Rand, and is also trying her hardest to learn how to cook (Rand is an incredible cook, and, as such, has taken her under his wing).

~~~

Aki | They/them | Ronin (front line) | 23 years old | ESFP | Gemini

Aki hails from a small, secluded mountain village on the outskirts of Etria, and grew up with their mother, grandparents, and several siblings. They have a master, who is like a father figure to them, and was taught the way of the blade by him from a young age. They left their village in order to travel, as they wanted to see and experience new things, and heard word of the expedition to Lumuria, hopping on the floating city of Maginia and joining a guild.

They're a massive goofball, and makes friends very easily due to their upbeat and energetic demeanor. They're very loud, and are always the life of the party. They also hold a lot of admiration for Sage, and enjoy sparring with her. They often vie for her attention, and have a friendly rivaly with Lucille, who also does the same. Aki loves and treats their guildmates like family members, and will always, very recklessly, put themself in danger to save them. They want to get stronger, both as a ronin and as a person. They also have heightened senses, and can see well in the dark.

They struggle with reading and writing, but are getting help from Sage to get better at both. They've begun writing letters to their master every week to update him on what's been going on.

Aki loves food and will eat anything and everything, including things they find on their expeditions. They have been poisioned far too many times from plants and fruit they have consumed on their travels, but have not learned from this whatsoever. They're often found training, practicing their sword skills, napping in the sun, exploring the outdoors, befriending both animals and people, or eating god-knows-what.

They're pangender, and are fine with any pronouns, but usually use they/them. They're also ace.

~~~

Elias | He/him | Harbinger (front line) | 26 years old (in human years) | ISTJ | Virgo

Elias grew up an only child of esteemed Celestrian parentage in Sidonia, Arcania. His family always expected great things from him - for him to hone his magic; uphold a sense of dignity and regality; strive for perfection. But even though he was always trying his best to please them, he never could, and they always treated him like he were inferior to them in every way. As such, he became quieter, distant, and more reserved. When he came of age to be seen as more independent, he immediately left, and travelled around the realm, trying to find a place to fit in and call home. Because of the otherworldly and snobbish reputation of the Celestrians, he was frequently shunned by others, but soon found a home in Iorys, where he joined a guild.

He doesn't say much, though is very sarcastic and sharp-tongued when he does. He's very intelligent, observant and quick-witted, and is good at solving puzzles, gathering information, and determining an enemy's weak points. He gets angry when people put themselves in danger to protect him, and would prefer that they looked after themselves instead. He loves his guildmates, both old and new, and considers them family, despite rarely showing it. He's often found reading, researching, meditating, playing solitary Celestrian card games, or chatting to (and cuddling with) Rand.

He's in a relationship with Rand (they got together during the events of EO5), whom he loves dearly, but hates to admit it. The two of them are basically inseperable.

After the events of EO5, which left Elias with a magic blockage (he was previously a warlock), he travelled to Earth with the rest of his guild, settling down in High Lagaard with Rand to recoup and recover for a couple of years. Soon enough, when they heard the construction of the floating city of Maginia was complete, the two of them decided that they wanted to continue exploring, so they joined a new guild and set forth on a new adventure. Elias' magic is slowly returning to him, though weak, but is manifesting itself in different ways, allowing him to control miasma (the bioluminescent kind) and manifest armour so he can better protect his loved ones. He also engineered a magical sythe, which draws magical energy directly from his body via a tubing system when hooked up. He fights on the front lines now, so that no one else gets hurt, and appears quite cold during combat, efficiently mowing down enemies.

He shares map-making duty with Sage and Rand.

~~~

Rand | He/him | Gunner (back line) | 25 years old | ENFJ | Pisces

Rand grew up in a small town in Melas, Arcania, with his mother and four younger sisters, one of whom sadly passed away when he was a teenager. His mother was, and still is, ill, so he would help her out with the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and everything in between. As such, he's a wizz in the kitchen, and makes the best apple pie in Arcania (according to his family and his previous guildmates). He picked up adventuring in order to provide for the rest of his family, as he heard it paid well (it did, and it still does).

He's very laid-back, level-headed, caring and friendly, with a good sense of humour. He loves helping people, and will always try his hardest to make sure everyone is satisfied. He keeps calm under stress, and is good at coming up with plans and strategies for the group - if Sage wasn't already the guild's leader, he probably would be. He often hides his true feelings in order to keep both himself and everyone around him positive, and deflects serious questions with humour.

As previously mentioned, he's in a relationship with Elias, whom he dotes over (much to Elias' dismay) and loves dearly. Rand was badly injured during the events of EO5, and is no longer able to walk properly, having to wear a leg brace. As such, he can no longer fight on the front lines (he was previously a dragoon), and the fact that he can't protect his loved ones as well as he used to eats him up inside. He also frequently has horrible nightmares due to trauma.

He shares map-making duty with Sage and Elias, and does most of the cooking. He's also a budding woodcarver, and whittles little wooden objects in his free time.

He also doesn't drink alcohol, and takes care of everyone else when they get a bit tipsy during a celebration.

~~~

Lucille | She/her | Sovereign (back line) | 21 years old | ESFJ | Libra

Like Sage and Elias, Lucille grew up the only child of a noble family, and hails from the city of Armoroad. Her parents and extended family spoiled her ever since she was born, and she gets everything handed to her on a silver platter, though this never made her haughty or self-absorbed. She was also very sheltered growing up, and doesn't know much about the world or how it works. She heard about the floating city of Maginia during a dinner party with Lagaardian nobles, and begged her parents to let her join the expedition to Lemuria. They, begrudging, accepted, but told her that she needed to travel with a bodyguard. Said bodyguard escorted her to the city, but she convinved him to let her go alone from there on out, stating that she wanted some form of independence. Her parents are not very happy with her.

She's animated, cheerful, slighty clingy, and a massive daydreamer. She's infectiously positive, though some may find her hyperactive and peppy nature a bit grating. She talks a lot, and has a short attention span. She appears frivolous, but is actually quite intelligent, and thinks that it's important to always be her true, authentic self, no matter the audience or situation. She's prone to shopping sprees, and has almost no self-control when it comes to spending, usually impulse-buying useless, though curious, items, much to the dismay of the guild (minus Aki - they love the strange artefacts she brings back to the inn).

She has a huge crush on Sage, oftening vying for her attention, and has a friendly rivaly with Aki, who also does the same. She's somehow unaware of Sage's aroace-ness - though, to be honest, she's unaware of a lot of things, in general. She's happy when Sage is happy, and always tries to cheer her up when she's not (she always tries to cheer the others up when they're feeling down, too). She loves the rest of the guild, and has a sibling-like dynamic with Aki, always bickering playfully with them.

She is also an abysmal cook. Do not let this woman near a kitchen - she will accidently poison people, as she has done many times in the past.

#my writing #my ramblings #etrian odyssey #etrian odyssey nexus #etrian odyssey ocs #i love these guys so much

[dxwnfxll]

the third time i come with the same idea but im a fan of it im so sorry

anyone from the bright family (mainly mikell because i love him if thats ok) with an s/o that doesn't know where they work at and didn't knew they had a big family¿

Alrighty! I think for this imma do David and Mikell (i don't think David works anywhere specifically? But i do know he helps the 'Bright cult' so i'll just do that lolol) and i hope i'm right with this being the idea that they just don't find out?

Mikell and David with and s/o who doesn't know where they work or their fam lolol

Warning: cursing, AFAB reader (only with Mikell)

Mikell

-You were married to Mikell, the two of you being the cliche 'Childhood sweethearts' or well maybe more 'Teenagehood sweethearts' as you both had met when you were both teens.

-Your family ran a pretty nice ranch only across the road from his families ranch. Mikell couldn't really visit you often though due to him being the one that was always raising his siblings

-but sometimes he'd see you outside riding a horse or just walking around a bit talking to one of your friends from school, damn he wished he knew what it was like to go to school. He had been homeschooled all his life.

-One day he just kinda left Elias in charge of everything while he made his way to your families ranch, you were surprised to have finally met your neighbor "oh! Sorry you scared me-" Mikell rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly "sorry, uh just wanted to finally come say hi"

-Mikell would visit you often eventually asking you out. Now you both were in your 20s, Mikell was working as 'Agent Cowboy' and he never told you. He couldn't until you two were married, so he just proposed right there at your families ranch

-time flies and he's still never told you, you two are married and expecting a damn kid. He still can't tell you he's 'Agent Cowboy' he can't tell you he's working for the Foundation either.

-He's also yet to really tell you about his family, sure you know Claire and Jack and all this time you've just suspected a ranch family with two parents and three kids. Not a ranch family with 5 kids, some guy named Tamlin, and dozens of possible kids from his dad

-He's actually really good at keeping this all a secret, it's when he becomes an 05 that it becomes harder to keep it a secret. He ends up just like his parents, always gone and never having anytime with you or his kids.

-You try to get the truth out of him, but he'd rather tell you he has a second family then tell you he's an 05. So he just continues to lie right to your face, once you ask too much he just uses anesthetics on you.

-Again all this time he could've told you, but if *you* told anyone you'd be dead. So he'd rather make you forget you even questioned his job then tell you out of fear.

David

-David met you in his youth, he had just started up the 'Ambrose cult' which at the time was only a couple kids and two adults that were his half siblings. Of course he kept the cult a secret when he first met you, he kiiiinda found it a lil embarrassing that he had a literal fucking cult because his dad and grandpa couldn't stop fucking people and getting them pregnant.

-You took pity on him at first seeing as how he was blind, but he surprised you by seeming to somehow get by and act as if he could see. You just kinda guessed since he was blind maybe his other senses got better? You had no clue how he became blind but yeah....

-David was the one to ask you out, he came to your house and asked to go out with you. He was romantic with it to, brought flowers and everything and ofc you said yes

-so now it's been some months, the cult is growing..a lot. And he does feel the need to tell you. But how the ever loving fuck does he tell someone that he has a cult made up of his families illegitimate children.

-so he just keeps it a secret and constantly lies about where he's been, he'll usually tell you he's been busy at 'Blind people anonymous' meetings. All the while he's meeting up with the cult to discuss things.

-you also don't know about his family, he'd rather jump into an active volcano then let you know about them. So you've never met them, in fact he calls himself an orphan and claims his parents died a long time ago

-You do tho eventually learn about his eyes, but he tells you it was by some 'psycho' he doesn't know..which honestly isn't that far from the truth

-he keeps you in the dark for as long as he can, if you find out you find out. But he'd like it if you never did, not cause he's ashamed but cause he's just borderline embarrassed

Hope you enjoyed! If you want me to add someone i will lolol

Buh bye!

#scp #scp foundation #scp fandom #scp fanfiction #scp x reader #scp mikell bright #scp mikell bright x reader #scp david blindman #scp david blindman x reader

[silverjetsystm]

Yom Kippur starts at sundown tomorrow. Have some headcanons.

[See this Rosh Hashanah post for bits about the shofar and Marc slowly becoming less and less involved with High Holy Day Services as he aged].

Holidays are important for Steven and Jake (and sometimes Marc). They enjoy the community coming together, talking with people, and spending time with loved ones. They have far more experience with the other holidays than they do with Yom Kippur.

Yom Kippur is for Marc.

After Marc left home, he didn’t think he would fast or celebrate any of the Jewish holidays ever again. He cut himself off from his roots, forgetting when anything was. He saw himself as unbound and free from the Old World superstitions. He remembers some Jewish customs and reasonings very clearly. Things like Kabbalah go far over his head.

Now we fast forward to after Marc becoming Moon Knight. Elias passes a few years into the work. The sense of the loss of his father mixes with the loss of his Jewish faith and direct breaking of the Covenant. While Marc doesn’t see himself as ‘allowed’ in services, he will fast over Yom Kippur. No food, water, sleeping very much, showering, etc. He’s done all this before, religiously from 13 to 17, and off and on because of Work (as a Marine, an operator, a merc, as Moon Knight). The hunger and thirst and greasy feeling are all easy to pass through. See them as they are, put aside, or cling to. Observe and remind himself of the fragile death-state.

His head is another thing. Mind over matter.

His sins, the times he’s missed the mark, willfully or accidentally. As a young man, the wild dog days of being a soldier of fortune. The lives he took for money, the lives he takes for a foreign god, the lives he couldn��t save because he was too slow or made the wrong choice every time. For not pulling Randall off the path Marc walked until murdering Randall over and over again was the only option. For not holding his father’s hand when Elias passed. For not heeding nor respecting Elias’ words until it was too late. For the memory of his family.

It’s a solitary fast. Not one in shul, with a group of Jewish civilians and superheroes. He eats his last meal before sundown and still goes out as Moon Knight (or Mr. Knight as the situation calls for it). Does his shift. Gets back to Grant Manor, the Midnight Mission, or whatever bolthole he calls base. Stays up all day, reflecting on the past. How he can do better works in the future. Not only for/as Khonshu’s Fist but for also for his soul.

Then, when night falls, he breaks the fast alone and goes out as Moon Knight once more. [tho if someone drags him to breaking the fast party, he’ll grumble and lurk in the corner but show up and eventually have a good time]

#headcanons

[gorgagne-viperidae]

#16; deiform

(spoilers for Endwalker MSQ 85 quests. cw: descriptions of distress and one messy instance of vomiting)

Vanaspati is on fire. 

Ahewann has sent you and the Scions to hell and you, Elias, fucking champion you are, you march alongside his Radiant Host into a forest that even through the smoke and flames you can tell had been lush and beautiful once. Thavnair’s climate is hot and humid, heavy and sweet in the way home never was, but here under the hellish skies the winds that blow ash into your eyes are dry and sharp and familiar, stinking of nightmares you know you will never forget afterward. Yet forward you forge; these are worries you can pick at later, debris to examine in the vague outline of the aftermath waiting at the end of this march.

There will be a lot to examine, it turns out. But first things first.

The forest is sprawling and rich; what you can see of the yet-untouched sections you pass is still lush, the road bordered on all sides by glossy leaves and flytraps big enough to catch a dragonling. It’s a clear shot to the villages dotting the foot of the mountain, so when you breach the Host’s hasty fire line you can clearly see the two soldiers stumbling down the beaten path toward you and your group. Gleaming scale mail marks them as the Host itself, and you are no stranger to deserters in war, Elias, but something strikes you as off about the nation’s prideful Radiant Host running from disaster now of all times. You have just about enough time to wonder at it when their figures begin to writhe beneath an oily smoke that pours off them in black clouds, hazy yet not thick enough to hide how their limbs twist and mutate too fast for either you or them to even scream.

Karmic backlash is a bitch and you, Elias, with your hands still bloody with your act of deicide, you don’t hesitate at all when you have to put them down to get past the barrier of their bodies. Even when Vrtra cries out his grief with a voice that shakes your bones, you don’t hesitate to put your spear through the aberrations that had been his people just to silence their unnatural howls.

You can’t hesitate is the thing. This is your sin to bear.

You bear it until your mad little troupe of four bursts into a village square in time to watch a family erupt into abomination one right after the other. Someone is screaming in your ears over the roar of the inferno and you cannot tell, never will be able to tell if it’s you or not.

Step back mid-battle, hero, take the reprieve carved for you by the deadly arc of Thancred’s gunblade to vomit violently into the circle of your arms and the haft of your spear. Let Estinien surge past you to take up your position while you heave out the contents of your stomach into the churned earth in gut-wrenching waves. Breakfast that morning had been pancakes, fluffy and buttered and drenched in a syrup you’re certain was some sort of maple; watch its remains spatter between your feet in wet chunks, sweet and bitter coating your tongue in turns and know without a doubt that you will never be able to bear the taste again after this.

You did this, Elias. Let it sink in while you retch and gag on the knowledge as it takes root in you. Unable to deny the very thing you were made for, you let the forces at play point you like a projectile to drive your spear into Zodiark’s unfinished heart. Emet-selch’s story rings in your skull like the tolling of temple bells and with every deafening chime something in you comes a little more loose, some important and intrinsic aperture shakes a little further out of its moorings and you taste bile and smoke and maple–

“Elias!”

A hand on your shoulder, palm buzzing with healing magicks that sink into the meat of your muscles like a balm. You don’t have to look to know Inwa is there, flanking one step behind like a small, bright shadow, the sun in your wake. You don’t have to look to know the exact dimensions of the worry that’s etched into the little mage’s face. It anchors you. Lets you take hold of yourself, your grip on the sundry pieces in you tight enough to cut yourself on all the shards.

“Are you okay?” Inwa asks, and ahead in the fray, lance flashing like quicksilver, Estinien spares you a glance over his shoulder.

So buck up, hero. Tighten your grip on your spear. Spit the last of the bile from your mouth, scrub it away on a soot-stained sleeve. Unfuck yourself, Elias. You did this. So fix it.

Eyes red and swollen, face ruddy with the tears streaming down them, you turn to smile at your constant companion. The old lie comes easy, familiar as mantra.

“I’ll be fine.”

You have a duty to fulfill.

#elias charron #ffxivwrite2022 #wol writing #Sw'inwa Raen #mentions of some canon lads