#listening obsessively to bang dream music is a NIGHTMARE

[moki-dokie]

I was obsessed with this song when it came out - in 2003. little did i realize how much worse it would get. i don't think i even had the ability as a freshly minted teenager to fathom a future worse than all of this. i don't think most of us did tbh. after all, we were promised the best and brightest and most fulfilling future of any generation. we lucky millennials. and yet 20 years later, here we are. living every dystopian nightmare we never thought possible as kids. in 20 years a song depicting what seemed like the worst outcome i could think of is now normal. idk maybe we should have seen all the blaring warning signs but for fucks sake most of them were buried in comedy, irony, sarcasm, fiction, or music that was mostly underground. no wonder we didn't think to take it seriously. anyway. have a listen. (and do keep in mind the language of the time) lyrics under the cut

Lyrics:

Your cellphone, your wallet, your time, your ideas. No bar-code, no party, no ID, no beers. Your bankcard, your license, your thoughts, your fears. No SIM card, no disco, no photo, not here. Your blood, your sweat, your passions, your regrets. Your profits, your time off, your fashions, your sex. Your pills, your grass, your tits, your ass. Your laughs, your balls, we want it all (we want your soul).

Your cash, your house, your phone, your life (we want your soul).

Tell us your habits, your fads, your fears. Give us your address, your shoe size, your years. Your digits, your plans, your number, your eyes. Your schedule, your desktop, your details, your life. Show us your children, your photos, your home. Here, take credit, take insurance, take a loan. Get a job, get a pension, get a haircut, get a suit. Play the lottery, play football, play the field, snort some toot.

We'll show you shrinks, we'll show you spooks, we'll buy you drinks, throw away your books. We'll sell you crap, we'll charge you tax, we're out buying big guns and you'll front the cash (we want your soul).

Your cash, your house, your phone, your life (we want your soul).

Your thoughts, your emotions, your love, your dreams. Your checkbook, your essence, your sweat, your screams. Your security, your sobriety, your innocence, your society. Your self, your place, your distance, your space.

[Bill Hicks] Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Here. Watch this. Shut up. You are free to do as we tell you. You are free to do as we tell you.

Here's boy bands, here's Mackers, here's Britney, here's cola. Here's pizza, here's TV, here's some rock and some roller. Watch commercials, more commercials, watch Jerry, not Oprah. Buy a better life from the comfort of your sofa. Here's popcorn, here's magazines, here's milkshakes, here's blue jeans. Here's padded bras, here's armpit wax, here's football shirts, here's baseball caps. Here's live talk-shows, here's video games, here's cola-lite, here's ten more lanes. Here's filter-tips, here's collagen lips, here's all-night malls, here's plastic hips (we want your soul).

Your cash, your house, your phone, your life (we want your soul). [Bill Hicks] Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Here. Here's American Gladiators. Watch this. Shut up. Go back to bed America, here's American Gladiators. Here's 56 channels of it. Watch these pituitary retards bang their fucking skulls together, and congratulate you on living in the land of freedom. Here you go America. You are free to do as we tell you. You are free to do as we tell you.

No hippies, no strays, no drop-outs, no gays. No lefties, no loonies, no opinions, no way. No thinkers, no teachers, no facts, no freaks. No skaters, no tweakers, no truth, no sleep.

Here's popcorn, here's magazines, here's milkshakes, here's blue jeans. Here's padded bras, here's armpit wax, here's football shirts, here's baseball caps. Here's very very very very very very very very very very very very long infomercials.

#music #adam freeland #we want your soul #tunes #song #feeling a little bitter about the world today #although this song still slaps #it's a depressing slap these days #rather than one that makes me laugh because lol no way #r-slur warning just btw but again that was part of the language of the time #especially from bill hicks #Youtube

[indyflanery]

Written Aesthetics / Types of People as Tim Burton Films

*Repost don't reblog

Beetlejuice: 🪲📓👻

Obsessed with the occult and the afterlife, Air Sign Vibes, “I, myself, am strange and unusual”, loves The Addams Family, blunt bangs, gothic throw pillows, reads Edgar Allen Poe, morbid sense of humour, Poison by Dior, rescues spiders, wears funky hats and hair accessories, old wooden bannisters, collects strange things they find in thrift shops, probably makes sculptures or models.

Batman: 🦇🌃🚨

Reads/watches true crime, city lights reflected in puddles, good at keeping secrets, listens to Lana Del Rey, knows about all the secret raves and underground clubs, running across intersections in heels, Great Gatsby quotes, smashing champagne glasses, neon signs, jewellery is the way to their heart, police chases, holds grudges, charming, owns at least one item of leather clothing.

Edward Scissorhands: ✂️🌳🏘

Perfectly manicured gardens, can’t decide on a hairstyle (or an aesthetic for that matter), hopeless romantic, hardcore crushes on emo boys, writes poetry, gothic architecture, white roses, probably grew up in a small town, believes opposites attract, cautiously optimistic, the first snowfall of the year, yearns for the extraordinary, daydreaming, wants to stand out but also wants to belong.

The Nightmare Before Christmas: 💀🎄🌌

Likes Christmas but LOVES Halloween, unconventional pumpkin carvings, mood lighting, spiderwebs on wrought iron fences, knows how to sew, collects Halloween masks, has tattoos and piercings, injury prone, cemeteries at night, owns way too many candles, herbal tea, full moons, secretly a romantic, loves snow globes, winding tree branches, pining love ballads, black nail polish.

Corpse Bride: 🧟‍♀️🦋👰🏻‍♀️

Listens to classical music, skin is always cold, petals falling off dead flowers, clings to the past, trusts the wrong people, corsets, lanterns, someone brushing your hair for you, sad eyes, blue butterflies, believes in soulmates, self sacrificing, midnight walks, long dresses/skirts, blue veins, cobblestone paths, bruises/scars easily, earthy perfumes, “if you love something, set it free”.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: 🍫❄️🏭

Sweet tooth, can’t dance but does it anyway, purple velvet, watches slime videos, flamboyant sunglasses, heavily saturated landscapes, daddy issues, has no volume control, low key terrified of children, rolls their eyes a lot, eccentric, collects strange objects, has a unique laugh, expensive boots, avoids answering questions, fireworks, childhood flashbacks, the smell of burning sugarcane.

Sweeney Todd: 🪒🥩🩸

Has a nice singing voice, high functioning crazy, wears lace clothing, cool toned scenery, mysterious vibes, enjoys the doomed lovers trope, intrusive thoughts, stressed and depressed but well dressed, carnivore, bites their fingernails, can bake a mean meat pie, old horror movies, the little devil that sits on peoples’ shoulder, long skirts dragging along the floor, makes direct eye contact.

Alice In Wonderland: 🐇🕰🍄

Stoner, drinks out of irregular sized cups, patterned tights, cat person, rambles about philosophical topics, adventurous, talks to plants and animals, old garden furniture, vertigo, always losing their keys, lucid dreams, optical illusions, rebellious, can be stubborn sometimes, has strange celebrity crushes, probably vapes, bumps into furniture, abstract paintings, listens to pop punk music.

#Aesthetic image #Source: playsthetics

[playsthetics]

Written Aesthetics / Types of People as Tim Burton Films

-

Beetlejuice: 🪲📓👻

Obsessed with the occult and the afterlife, Air Sign Vibes, “I, myself, am strange and unusual”, loves The Addams Family, blunt bangs, gothic throw pillows, reads Edgar Allen Poe, morbid sense of humour, Poison by Dior, rescues spiders, wears funky hats and hair accessories, old wooden bannisters, collects strange things they find in thrift shops, probably makes sculptures or models.

Batman: 🦇🌃🚨

Reads/watches true crime, city lights reflected in puddles, good at keeping secrets, listens to Lana Del Rey, knows about all the secret raves and underground clubs, running across intersections in heels, Great Gatsby quotes, smashing champagne glasses, neon signs, jewellery is the way to their heart, police chases, holds grudges, charming, owns at least one item of leather clothing.

Edward Scissorhands: ✂️🌳🏘

Perfectly manicured gardens, can’t decide on a hairstyle (or an aesthetic for that matter), hopeless romantic, hardcore crushes on emo boys, writes poetry, gothic architecture, white roses, probably grew up in a small town, believes opposites attract, cautiously optimistic, the first snowfall of the year, yearns for the extraordinary, daydreaming, wants to stand out but also wants to belong.

The Nightmare Before Christmas: 💀🎄🌌

Likes Christmas but LOVES Halloween, unconventional pumpkin carvings, mood lighting, spiderwebs on wrought iron fences, knows how to sew, collects Halloween masks, has tattoos and piercings, injury prone, cemeteries at night, owns way too many candles, herbal tea, full moons, secretly a romantic, loves snow globes, winding tree branches, pining love ballads, black nail polish.

Corpse Bride: 🧟‍♀️🦋👰🏻‍♀️

Listens to classical music, skin is always cold, petals falling off dead flowers, clings to the past, trusts the wrong people, corsets, lanterns, someone brushing your hair for you, sad eyes, blue butterflies, believes in soulmates, self sacrificing, midnight walks, long dresses/skirts, blue veins, cobblestone paths, bruises/scars easily, earthy perfumes, “if you love something, set it free”.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: 🍫❄️🏭

Sweet tooth, can’t dance but does it anyway, purple velvet, watches slime videos, flamboyant sunglasses, heavily saturated landscapes, daddy issues, has no volume control, low key terrified of children, rolls their eyes a lot, eccentric, collects strange objects, has a unique laugh, expensive boots, avoids answering questions, fireworks, childhood flashbacks, the smell of burning sugarcane.

Sweeney Todd: 🪒🥩🩸

Has a nice singing voice, high functioning crazy, wears lace clothing, cool toned scenery, mysterious vibes, enjoys the doomed lovers trope, intrusive thoughts, stressed and depressed but well dressed, carnivore, bites their fingernails, can bake a mean meat pie, old horror movies, the little devil that sits on peoples’ shoulder, long skirts dragging along the floor, makes direct eye contact.

Alice In Wonderland: 🐇🕰🍄

Stoner, drinks out of irregular sized cups, patterned tights, cat person, rambles about philosophical topics, adventurous, talks to plants and animals, old garden furniture, vertigo, always losing their keys, lucid dreams, optical illusions, rebellious, can be stubborn sometimes, has strange celebrity crushes, probably vapes, bumps into furniture, abstract paintings, listens to pop punk music.

#tim Burton #aesthetic #written aesthetic #types of people #beetlejuice #Batman #Batman 1989 #Batman returns #Batman forever #edward scissorhands #the nightmare before christmas #corpse bride #charlie and the chocolate factory #sweeney todd #alice in wonderland #winona ryder #johnny depp #helena bonham carter #gothic #dark #mine

[horrorslashergirl]

Chromeskull x Cop!Reader x The Collector

A dark themed erotic novel for the twisted minds

Resume: Some things bring you nightmares and unwanted memories back. They say you can’t bury the past, because at some point it will come back. You weren’t prepared for this.

Chapter 1: Nightshift Turn Out

Chapter 2: Twisted Tongue

Chapter 3: Rising from fire like the Phoenix

Chapter 4: Video Shadows

Chapter 5: New beginning and Past memories (You are here)

Chapter 6: Lovers Reunion

Chapter 7: Sweet Blackmail 

Chapter 8: False Freedom

Chapter 9: Ugly Jealousy

Chapter 10: Sinful Ecstasy

Warning: This one contains violence and slight gore.

After three months in Jacksonville, you couldn't deny the loneliness that crawled up your very being; work was great and it paid all your necessities, so you couldn't whine about financial problems, but outside work, you were pretty much alone, saw for the fact that you took on a poodle dog to ease some of that depression. Dating just wasn't your department and most guys couldn't even live it up to put on a great conversation. You still kept in touch with some old friends from Illinois and occasionally chatted up with them to get the time going. One of your girl friends gave you some cheap advice about entering dating sites, but you knew from high school that most of these sites were full of creeps and old perverts who wanted to jack off to under-age girls. It made you almost throw up, but you took on her advice and entered one, putting on a single picture of you, but a very decent one. You weren't going to be found on a dating site with nude pictures of you, just no.

That's how you found yourself now on a Saturday night on the couch with a glass of red wine, your white-furred pet next on the couch, sleeping after a day of running with you in the park. Your laptop was on your lap, listening to some music, a separated opened window of the dating site. So far just a few guys entered to chat with you. One was living in Oregon, so too far away, another one was just flirting cheaply with you.

You wondered how your brother managed to get a girlfriend so easily. He told you that he meet her when he went to buy a new laptop; so far he was very happy with her. Her name was Spann and she worked in the business industry, you haven't met her but your brother sends you a picture of her. Definitely pretty and very professional looking. You were glad he finally found someone who will cherish him, she always came by to his apartment to help him and even cook for him. To you, it sounded like a dream partner.

You were pulled out from your thoughts by the sound of a ding, signaling that someone entered on your chatroom on the dating site. You only hoped it wasn't some creep who wanted your nudes; so you opened the window.

JSkull: Hello there.

Well, at last, it wasn't a direct 'I wanna see your boobs' message.

TattooedKitty: Hey there.

You sometimes hated your choice of username, but it was completely random, plus it had a bit f truth behind it, having your whole back tattooed. You did that in high school when you had that rebel phase, still deep inside you enjoyed the freedom you had back then.

JSkull: What's a girl like you doing on this site?

TattooedKitty: Trying to find a guy who can manage to keep a conversation, at last.

JSkull: Sassy. I like it, but trust me. You won't find that type of person here.

TattooedKitty: So, you say you cannot manage to keep up an intelligent conversation?

JSkull: Smart girl. I was joking. You don't seem like the type of woman to seek out dating sites.

TattooedKitty: Then what type of girl do you peg me as?

JSkull: Daddy's good little girl.

TattooedKitty: I'm not little and what about you? Why are you on this site?

JSkull: Kill some boredom.

That was his last reply, then he logged off. Well, that was weird and when you looked at the clock your eyes widened, remembering that tomorrow you had to go to work. You closed your laptop and went straight to bed before you filled your dog bowl with food in case she was going to wake up and be hungry later.

Somewhere else in Jacksonville...

Jesse smirked; he couldn't help but tease you and you took the bait. So, you were single? Perfect, all the easier way to get his hands on you. He looked at the silver clock on the wall of his office. After so many weeks of stalking and getting all the little information about you, tomorrow night when you will get off your shift he will strike, plus tomorrow Asa will arrive in Jacksonville.

The bald man chuckled silently, remembering how Asa always asked him how his tracking on you went. Jesse knew Asa like no other and he knew that the nerdy collector got obsessed over the little things. Jesse couldn't blame Asa, you were a piece of candy for the eyes, and he almost forgot of how many men he had to put off the dating game that was trying to get to you.

Jesse twirled one of his twin knives, looking at his reflection on the blade, scowling as the disfigured image of his face was shown. The thought of your face full of disgust when you would see him made his insides turn, a bitter feeling setting into his throat, but he pulled that feeling aside. He had to focus on the job at hand; getting his hands on you.

Yes, tomorrow would be a perfect day.

The Next Day...

Work had gone just fine, no problems and you could eat lunch in peace; you had some pizza with extra cheese and your favorite dessert, strawberry cake. It seemed like a perfect day and you were looking forward to getting home and having a bubble bath, making pour a glass of wine. You smiled as you saw the clock 10:30 AM, meaning that in just half an hour you will get off work and could head home, so you began to clean up your desk of remaining files and empty plastic coffee cups; you hated to come back to work with a mess for a desk.

You cursed yourself for having your car break and had to walk. All you were glad was that it wasn't raining tonight and it was quite a warm night. After 15 minutes of walking, you passed an alleyway but stopped when you heard some crying; it sounded womanly and your heroic heart had to make you step into the shadows, a little reluctant.

"H-Hello? Is someone there?" you asked, the whining continues and you gulped down, your instinct telling you that something bad was going to happen and you needed to get the hell out of there.

Before you could listen to your gut, a hand wrapped around your throat, slamming your body into the brick wall, knocking the breath out of you. Whoever it was, was strong, because it knocked you as you were a ragdoll.

Your eyes opened and were meet with silver metal, probably chromed. A skull mask? He was tall, very tall, you reached just his chest. He was dressed in all black, your eyes a little blinded by the red light on his shoulder. A videocamera? His gloved hand on your neck tightened, making you gasp out, your hands grasping his arm.

"W-What? What do y-you want?" you managed to ask before you felt a sting on your neck, whatever he injected into you, making you feel dizzy and weak, until you blacked out, your body falling onto the cold ground.

After 30 minutes...

He couldn't believe how easy this was; it was like stealing candy from a kid. Jesse smirked as he was driving to one of the warehouses he owned for his 'little' hobby, your body knocked out in the backseat of his Chrysler. Nitrile covered hands gripped the steering wheel as he was thinking what he will do to you once he gets there. Oh, he hoped you would scream and cry, even beg; that would be cheery on top.

After getting on the outskirts of Jacksonville, he finally got to the building. Even if you could get away, the closet town was 30 miles away, plus it was night, and cars hardly passed by here; another reason for why this was one of his favorite places.

Parking the car and stopping the engine, he got out and moved to pick up your limp body, getting inside the warehouse where many coffins laid there, some having dead bodies of past piggies inside, some of them so badly disfigured you need the dental-prints to find out who they are.

He put you inside one of the coffins, shutting the lid and waiting for you to wake up. By the dose he injected into you, you should wake up at any moment. After 15 minutes of setting up his mini-camera, he heard a groan from the coffin, a smile pulling at his lips behind chromed skull-mask.

Jesse got the drill and walked to the coffin, making a small hole into it so he could record you. You whimpered as you saw the lens of the camera, feeling like you would suffocate. Memories of when you were trapped into the red trunk came back to you. Outside, Jesse smirked seeing your panicked face and wide eyes.

"L-Let me out!" you screamed, banging on the lid, tears running down your face. This was too good.

His gloved hands were running on the lid of the coffin, his breath picking up as he saw all your reactions, the fact that he could re-watch them again and again, so much sweeter.

He loved to see you trapped, but this wasn't exactly what he was looking for, although it was highly arousing, he wanted you to fight. Taking the camera off and setting it up onto his shoulder, he opened the coffin, taking some steps back, knives in each hand.

You got out from the coffin and looked around, your eyes looking on the shiny silver mask.

"W-What do you want?" you asked, eyes puffy from crying. He twirled the knives, practically mocking you.

Then you felt your gun on the utility belt, hand grasping it and pointing it at the tall man, your eyes now pulled into a glare. Jesse tilted his head to the side, then took a step forward and a loud bang was heard, your finger pulled the trigger and shot him three times. You weren't going to make the same mistake as you did back in Illinois.

The only problem was that the man was still on his feet, a little take back that you actually used the gun on him.

Jesse wasn't dumb, and he had under his clothes a bulletproof vest. He huffed, then before you knew it he threw one of the knives at you, the sharp blade piercing your shoulder, making you release your gun and fall down on the ground.

The hit wasn't fatal, but God, did it hurt like hell, your breathing increased and you gulped down, feeling the warm blood soak your shirt. Your eyes looked up as the masked man approached you, his hand grasping your pony-tail tightly, making you stand up.

Even trough the latex material Jesse could feel how soft your hair was, and he was so tempted to use that mouth of yours on something much better than screaming, but he was a patient man.

"S-Stop it! You piece of fuck!" you screamed, only for him to tug harder on your hair, making you swallow your words. Jesse's other hand that wasn't fisting your hair, pulled out a mobile phone, typing on it very fast, then showed you the screen.

'Quite the mouth on you, piggy. Don't make me use it for something else that cursing like a whore.'

Your eyes widened, then looked from the shiny screen to the chromed mask. You were turned around, your back towards him as you felt him take your handcuffs from your belt, and with precise moves, he locked your hands together behind your back, making you completely useless.

His foot kicked one of yours, making you fall down on your knees. You could taste the blood on your mouth, the knife still impaled into your shoulder, then you heard the double doors of the warehouse open and you prayed that someone came to save you.

That wasn't it. You almost wished you were dead when you saw the bulky form dressed in black entered the building, black-gloved hands on the knives at his belt, black foam mask covering his face, and the eyes that haunted your dreams for months. Obsidian eyes looked into your eyes, your mouth open in shock.

'Finally, you came. She put up a fight. Quite the feisty kitten here.' the robotic voice came from the phone, the message directed to The Collector.

The Collector rolled his eyes and began to walk towards you two.

"Traffic. So, you got her." he said, stopping in front of you, your still shocked face making him smile, a smile that made chills creep up your spine.

"Miss me?" he asked, voice deep and mocking you.

This has to be a nightmare. Sure, and you would wake up in your bed, with your poodle cuddled by your side. Yes, it had to be.

"N-No...T-This cannot b-be real." you said in a whisper, afraid if you spoke any louder, your tongue will be cut off.

"Not real? Does this feel real?" The Collector said, gripping the knife from your shoulder and twisting it a little, making you scream and shut your eyes, more tears falling down your cheeks.

'We are gonna have lots of fun, little piggy.' the robotic voice spoke, a dark chuckle coming from The Collector and you almost fainted when the skull masked man was running one hand down your hip.

This was only the beginning, little piggy...

To be continued...

#Chromeskull: Laid to rest 2 #Laid to rest 2009 #Chromeskull #Jesse Cromeans #chromeskull x reader #jesse cromeans x reader #The Collector 2009 #The Collection 2012 #the collector x reader #Asa Emory #Asa Emory x reader #jesse cromeans x reader x asa emory #the collector x reader x chromeskull #slasher x reader #horror movies

[renniecirque]

More Rennie HCs!!!

how do they listen to their music? ipod, mp3, computer, cd, records, etc? Records, his phone, sometimes his school laptop

do they take baths or showers? do they prefer one over the other? Bath! Rennie is old fashioned and loves taking a soak in a warm tub filled with herbs and calming scents. It’s not uncommon to find him fast asleep in the tub after a long day.

do they wear their hair down when they sleep, or tied up / braided? Down. Though during the summer he clips his bangs up out of his face!

how many blankets / pillows do they like to have on their bed? 2 blankets! One thin one and another that is minky/soft. Rennie is the king of pillows; he has 4. 3 to lay on, one to hold.

what do they normally dream about? nightmares or nonsense? Dreams are strange for Rennie as they aren’t quite nightmares but they can leave him unsettled. He often replays the past in his sleep. 

do they wake up groggy or alert? do they like mornings? Groggy as heck. You’d think he was a different person with how silent and dragging his body-like he is if he has an early morning class. Some say it looks like someone dragged him across the field and left him there with how he looks in the morning. Not at all.

what do they sleep in? pj’s, normal clothes, nothing? A cardigan over his old night gown. He also wears night shorts under it. Though he also now has a matching lounge pj set with his friend.

what do they smell like? do they use perfume or cologne? Rennie either smells like coffee or fresh pine/floral scents. He uses sprays whenever he feels like it but doesn’t make a habit of it. 

what shampoo scent do they like the best and why? Lavender! Anything that reminds him of his home in the forest. Plus it has soothing attributes. 

bar soap or liquid? do they like loofahs? Bar! He’s quite fond of homemade oatmeal soap. Eh he’s indifferent.

do they prefer sleeping alone or with someone else? Sleeping with someone else. Back at his home, he used to share a bed with his brother and now currently with his sister in the small cottage. It just feels safe to him.

do they like the room cold or hot when they sleep? Cold. Layers are easier to deal with than sweating.

do they stay up too late? do they like staying up? Very much so. Rennie is a big night owl and likes to stay up until dusk before heading to bed. Sadly school makes that more difficult.

do they know how to drive? do they like to drive? NO WAY DFKGKDJ Rennie is used to using brooms or carriage if needed!

do they prefer taxis / buses / subways, etc? or none of the above? N/A. The valley doesn’t really have things like that.

do they have pets? what kind? dogs, cats, etc? No pets. Though Rennie is quite familiar with the animals that lurk near his home.

do they prefer cats or dogs? or neither? Neither.

what are their phobias? do they have any at all? Lightning, war, abandonment issues.

what do they hate being teased about? are they teased often? Their loud voice, getting too excited over things and not knowing when to tone it down- not often thankfully.

did they have any fears growing up that they’ve since conquered? Rennie had a fear of how weak humans were when playing went horribly wrong- ultimately adding fuel to an already tense war and causing them to flee their home. I wouldn’t say it was a full conquered fear just… Rennie copes with it better than he used to. Though not in the most friendly way.

do they have a fear they want to conquer, but haven’t yet? Abandonment issues. Since his brother left, Rennie realized just how quiet the family home is without the one who stood up for him all of this time.

how do they show fear? sweating, shaking, blankness, anger, etc? Biting his lip, twisting his hair, can range from fight to flight depending on the severity. Laughing especially.

do they have a short temper? what’s most likely to set it off? Not terribly short. Setting him off usually involves underestimating him or blocking his way for long periods of time. He also doesn’t stand for weak people getting bullied by fraud mages who think they’re hot shit just because they’re in the brawn dorm.

do they get scared easily? does loud noises, shouting, etc, scare them? Not super easily- though sudden crashes can make him jump. Yelling does put him on edge, especially if it is directed towards him.

what are they most passionate about? what could they debate about for hours? Rennie is very passionate about learning anything and everything about magic! It’s his goal to become a well-rounded magician his mother and father could be proud of. He is also very passionate with his work making clothes for his sister and goods to sell back home. Definitely the history of magic and it’s influence across the world. How each country lives in very different ways involving magic.

what do they never, ever want to speak of, ever? The incident where he hurt a human child on accident. Where his brother risked it all to protect him, even if it meant getting hurt himself on top of severe punishment from the school. How he dropped his birth name because there is terrible magic in knowing one’s true name. He didn’t wish to be controlled by the past anymore.

do they have kids? do they want kids? if so, how many? No kids, he’s a kid himself. Rennie wouldn’t be Against having a family though it’s hard to gauge. Maybe 1-2 kids??? He does like family.

is there something they’d like to change about themselves physically? Not really… though he wouldn’t complain about being a little taller.

is there something about their personality they want to change? The trickster side of himself he shows for sure. While it can be fun at times, he often uses it as a shield to hide his real feelings.

do they have good fashion sense? or do they just wear whatever? Generally Rennie wears whatever is comfortable, though he has an appreciation for certain styles. He at least tries to look presentable.

do they critique others easily? do they judge from afar? To a degree, yes. Though it is more from afar and only within his mind. He only lays light jabs to people and prefers to keep snide comments to himself. No sense picking unnecessary battles.

are they too hard on themselves over the little things? Eh not really! Rennie has a very carefree approach to much of his school life, only getting serious when it comes to his own courses and if others are trying to push him/his friends around. He only gets upset when he fails something he knows he can pull off.

are they the jealous type? what are they most likely to be jealous of? Not very jealous, no. If anything, he’s more envious and resigned to the fact that there are some fae who can live and exist among humans without worry. He’s envious some can survive the strife within the Valley with little issue.

are they possessive over their things? or over other people? Both? Definitely more over people. Those Rennie welcomes into his life are like family and he is not going to let people hurt those he cares about. Not being seen as a dangerous monster by others is all Rennie hoped for.

would they rather be alone or in a relationship? While Rennie feels safer being with other people, I still think he’d rather be alone. I don’t think Rennie would trust someone so openly with his heart as a Fae. Plus relationships with non-fae lead to an endless cycle of heartache.

what do they think about polyamorous relationships? would they do it? They never considered it but nothing is off the table???

do they have parents / parental figures? do they have a good relationship with them? Rennie has his mother and father! For the most part it is very positive. A strict yet loving household, Rennie’s father expects his children to upkeep the family tradition and talent with magic and good schooling. While Rennie’s mother simply wishes for her children to grow well-rounded and respectful. The change in their lifestyle really showed her what really is important and that’s family above influence.

do they have siblings? if so, how many? do they like them? Rennie has an older brother and his baby sister! He’s the middle baby! Rennie loves his siblings more than anything, especially having a close bond with his brother Brier. Brier tries to distance himself from Rennie now not in a mean way but as a- I’ve protected you for so long and I want you to live and survive on your own way. He can’t always be there, so he needs Rennie to be able to protect and live for himself.

do they have a big family or a small family? no family? A decently big family of 5!

where would they want to live if they could live anywhere? Why? Anywhere outside of the Valley. While Rennie’s home is comforting, the memories of The Valley of Thorns are very raw still and being in a place always on the edge of war exhausts him greatly. Humans and Fae never mix, no matter how hard they try to reconcile the kingdoms.

are they happy in their current living situation? why or why not? Honestly? No. The small hut feels welcoming and warm but Rennie feels he’d feel much better being in another country. Being at NRC for semesters gives him that escape from the reality.

do they like living alone or with another person / other people? Other people for sure!

did they go to college, or are they attending? did / do they like it? Not yet.

what’s their dream job / profession? do they have one? Rennie would love to be a teacher for incantations and potions.

if they could control one thing in the world, what would it be? I have no idea kdfjkdfj maybe how people get along? He’d never want wars again.

do they like tv shows or movies? or neither? Rennie doesn’t mind movies, though he really only watches them at school with friends.

do they have social media? do they like it or hate it? obsess over it? Rennie has a Magicame however, he barely knows how to use it.

do they have a creative outlet? if so, what is it? Sewing!!! Rennie loves making clothes and blankets in his free time.

where do they see themselves in 2 / 5 / 10 years? 2 years he hopes to be a great 3rd year student others can look up to. In 5 years he hopes to graduate NRC like his brother and make his family proud. In 10 years he hopes to be working his dream job and training his baby sister in magic alongside his parents.

#twst #twst oc #twisted wonderland #rennie cirque #rennie lore #not art #long post #my oc

[lovemesomesurveys]

Is your nose stuffed up at the moment? Nope.

Do you like apples? Not especially. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I had one.

Do you ever read the newspaper? No. I read my news online for the most part and catch some on TV.

Is anyone in your house sick? No.

Someday do you ever want to go and see the Egyptian pyramids? Damn, it’s almost a 16 hour flight to Egypt from California.

Have you ever seen the Statue of Liberty? No. I’ve never even been to New York.

When’s the last time you got your hair cut? Back in February.

When’s the last time you rode a bike? Never.

Spring or summer? Spring out of the two, but meh. It means summer is next and that I don’t like.

Do you like to go sledding in the winter? I’ve never done it.

Do any of your friends’ boyfriend/girlfriends annoy you? I don’t have friends.

What time is it? 5:24AM.

Will you be calling someone tomorrow? No.

Have you smiled today? Yeah.

Do you wish you could start over with anyone? Sometimes.

Do you like Kid Cudi? I liked Day ‘n’ Nite. Whatever happened to him?

Or, who is your favorite rapper? Some that I listen to are Megan Thee Stallion, Cardi B, Nicki Minaj,  Drake, Post Malone, Travis Scott, DaBaby, Roddy Ricch, Bryson Tiller, Tory Lanez...

Have you ever created a survey? Once, a longggg time ago. Like, during the Xanga days sometime. 

Where were you today? I’m at home and that’s where I’ll stay. 

When was the last time you had to give bad news? I’m usually the one receiving the bad news.

Were you sad today? Sad is one of my personality traits.

Do you take any foreign language classes? I’m not in school anymore, but I did in high school and one semester in college.

When’s the last time you received bad news? My doctor wanting me to do ridiculous xrays that aren’t necessary and then throwing in the possibility of doing a spinal cord stimulator and I’m like yeah, absolutely not.

Are your parents together or divorced? They’re still together.

Is there one person you look at and automatically smile? My doggo.

Who are you texting? No one.

What are you doing later on? My Bible study.

Do you wish anyone in particular was still in your life? Yeah, a few people.

Who was the last person you were on the phone with? My mom.

What makes you happy? My doggo, trips to the beach, Disneyland, binging a show with my mom, that first sip of coffee, when it rains, fall, the holidays.

Ever liked someone older than you? Only by a couple years.

Which did you discover first, myspace or Facebook? Myspace. I’m old.

Have you kissed a: A, B, C, D, E, G, K, U, Q, V, T ? D and G. 

What was the last thing you ate and why? Ramen. I like having my nightly bowl of ramen, it’s my thing.

What was the last thing you drank and why? Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink cause I like ‘em.

How many tabs do you have open and what are they? 10: 2 are Tumblr related (1 is my dash and the other is my likes), YouTube, Pinterest, 2 LiveJournal survey blogs, Facebook, a Christian radio website page relating to something my church is doing, a website with different prayers and scriptures related to them, and Spotify. 

What browser do you prefer to use? I only use Chrome.

What’re five random things on your desk besides any computer-related items? I don’t have a desk.

What room are you in right now? Mine.

What color are the walls and floor in that room? White walls, tan carpet.

What’re the items closest to you that’re red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, white, gray, brown, black, silver and gold? Red: Red and black plaid throw pillow. Orange: Orange highlighter.  Yellow: Yellow highlighter. Green: Baby Yoda plushie. Blue: Mist fan. Purple: There’s some purple on one of my pillows. Pink: Bottle of Pepto Bismol. White: There’s white on my Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink can. Grey: My remote.  Brown: My Baby Yoda plushie is wearing brown. Black: Laptop keyboard. Silver: My laptop. Gold: A gold garland strand across my dresser from last Christmas. :X

Out of all the things you listed above, which is your favorite? Baby Yoda plushie! 

What kind of chair are you sitting in? I’m sitting on my bed.

Where would you prefer to be right now? I want to be right here.

Do you have any plans this weekend? No.

Are you excited for anything this month? This month is just about over, so I’m hoping it starts to cool down soon.

What’s the date today? It’s September 28th.

Is there anything special about today? No.

How’re you physically feeling right now? Tired and my stomach is messing with me.

How’re you emotionally feeling right now? Blah.

Have you ever traveled outside of your home country? I’ve been to Mexico once.

Can you speak, read and/or write in another language besides English? Some Spanish.

What language course did you take in school, if any? Four years of Spanish in high school and one semester in college.

What language would you most like to learn? I’d like to be fluent in Spanish.

What grade are you in right now? I’m done with school.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have my BA in psych.

What was you dream job when you were a little kid? I wanted to be a teacher.

What happened to that dream? I decided it wasn’t what I wanted to do anymore when I got older. I didn’t feel cut out to teach.

Speaking of dreams, when was the last time you had a sleeping dream and what was it about? I always have the most random, weirdest dreams.

Do you have more nightmares or good dreams? Mostly just random and weird.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? I’m always up all night, so no.

Can you sleep comfortably in another bed besides your own? I can sleep fine in hotel beds. Those are the only other beds I sleep in.

What book are you reading, what genre is it and do you like it so far? “Say You Love Me” by Willow Rose. It’s a murder-mystery and thriller. It’s the 4th book in a series and I’ve really enjoyed them all so far. They’ve all had a really crazy twist I didn’t see coming.

Are you a shorts wearing kind of person? Nope. I never wear shorts.

Is your grandparents’ house obsessively tidy? Yeah.

About how much can you bench press? I can’t at all.

Do you get embarrassed easily? Yes.

Is dinner done yet? It’s 7 in the morning.

Have you ever had your phone die on you in the middle of a conversation? I’m sure it’s happened before.

Is anybody in your family a carpenter? No.

Are you avoiding someone? You could say that.

How social are you? I don’t have a social life at all anymore. 

What’s your favorite primary color? Yellow. 

What were you for Halloween? I stopped dressing up a few years ago.

Do you like hot chocolate? Yeah.

What do you have pierced? Just my earlobes.

What’s your favorite type of tea? Mint or chamomile. 

Do you have any clothes from Walmart? I have a couple shirts.

Are you hungry? Kind of, but my stomach is feeling a little meh.

When did you get a Facebook? Back in 2008.

What color are your eyes? Brown.

How’re you feeling? Tired and blah.

What motivates you? I haven’t felt motivated in a long time...

Can you walk in heels? No.

When was the last time someone asked you your age? I get asked often in surveys.

Why are you taking this survey? I want to.

Do you ever sing in the shower? Yeah.

Do you keep a journal? This is my journal. I share a lot in these surveys.

When is your favorite time of day? When I have my first cup of coffee and the late and early hours when I do my usual routine of surveys and ASMR videos.

How often do you get headaches? Often. 

Have you ever tried a weird flavor of vodka? I had caramel vodka before. I don’t think that’s weird, though.

Do you wear a ring on your finger? Nope.

What are you doing? Besides the obvious, I’m listening to an ASMR video.

What’s the last kind of soup you ate? Ramen.

Do you currently have a sunburn? No. I wasn’t able to have my beach trips this year, which is the only time I spend a significant amount of time outdoors. I’ve hardly been out of the house at all since March.

Could you eat nothing but grilled cheese for a week straight? No.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? Nah.

Who did you last text? My mom.

Who’d you last call? About what? My mom to ask her something.

Are you currently frustrated with someone? No one but myself.

Have you graduated from high school? Yeah, back in 2008...

Did you receive a good morning text today? I don’t receive those.

Will you be having sex tonight? No.

Do you drink hard liquor? No, I don’t drink anymore.

Have you met anyone new yet today? No. I highly doubt I will.

Do you drink water or soda more often? Water.

Do you straighten your hair? No.

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? Last night.

If you have younger siblings, how old were you when your siblings were born? I was 9 when my brother was born.

Do you watch the Big Bang Theory? No, I never could get into it.

Would you ever pick up gum from the ground and eat it? What in the actual.... NO. Ew, who the hell would do that???

Have you ever gotten stitches? Yeah, several times.

Do you pluck your eyebrows? Yeah.

Think back to the last thing you drank. Did you drink it using a straw? Yeah, I always use a straw.

Do you ever listen to country music? Sometimes.

This time last year were you happier then or now? Neither then or now.

Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No.

From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside? Two.

Do you sometimes use your music player to help you fall asleep? No.

What’s your favorite music video at the moment? I don’t watch music videos anymore. I miss the TRL days, I always looked forward to the top countdown and new video releases.

Can you play the violin? No. I took violin in 4th grade, but I just didn’t enjoy it. Me and the violin didn’t vibe like the piano and I did. I stuck it out for the year and then I was done.

Is the sun shining? Yeah.

Where did you go today? Nowhere.

Have you ever taken a survey while under the influence of drugs or alcohol? Yeah.

Where will you be in an hour? Right here in bed.

Is anyone irritating you? No.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? I haven’t gone to bed, yet. 

The last time you burned your tongue or mouth, what were you eating? Probably ramen.

Have your parents ever threatened to throw your things away because your room was messy? No.

Is there any one food you constantly find yourself craving? Boneless wings from Wingstop.

What’s the longest time you’ve ever spent in front of the computer doing surveys? Well, my nightly routine consists of doing surveys. It’s usually between the hours of like 3AM to 7AM. Some of that time is also spent scrolling through my dash, but for the most part it’s doing surveys.

Name someone with big eyes. *shrug*

Do you like the humidity? Nooo.

Who will you hang out with next? My family.

Is your shirt pink? No.

What’s something fuzzy near you? Giraffe stuffed animal.

Are you going to do more surveys? Maybe. I should be going to bed, though...

Who is the most complicated person in your life right now? Me.

Are there a lot of trees in your yard? No, just one.

Did the last type of shoes you wore have laces? Yeah. 

How much money do you have on you right now? Some.

Are you CPR certified? No.

What genre is your favorite movie? I have several favorite movies that fall under the horror, psychological thriller, drama, romantic comedy, comedy, fantasy, and sci-fi genres. 

Are you texting anybody right now? No.

Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom.

Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? No.

What’s your favorite thing to snack on while watching a movie? If I go to the theater then I gotta have popcorn.

When was the last time somebody hit on you? It’s been years.

Was the last person you met a male or female? Female.

Which one of your friends do you feel most comfortable around?

Do you own a map of the world? No.

What brand is your underwear? They’re from JCP.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? Mashed potatoes and gravy and the stuffing.

Is the light on in the room you’re in? Nope.

Who did you last spoon with? I haven’t spooned with anyone.

Are you currently watching TV? It’s on, but I’m not watching it at the moment cause I’m watching/listening to an ASMR video.

Have you ever had surgery ? I’ve had several.

Do you own any clothing that has animal print? No.

Does your family eat dinner together? Sometimes.

Where do you work? I don’t.

Are you in high school? No. I’ve been out of high school for well over a decade now.

Do you have a TV in your room? Yep.

Are any of your electronics charging right now? My phone, laptop, and Nintendo Switch.

What was the last video game you played? Animal Crossings: New Horizons.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #long survey

[kirathehyrulian]

♥• Obsession: Dark Desires Art Master Post•♥

Please do not repost or alter. At the very least, please give me credit.

Spn Eldritch Bang | Author | Illustrator | Fic- Ao3 | LJ

Title: Rating: Explicit Wordcount: 17,321 Pairings:  unrelated Dean/Sam, Fic Warnings:  Gore/Violence, dark!Dean, bottom!Sam, top!Dean

Summary: Sam and Dean have always been close. Their fathers had gone on many hunts together, so the boys had grown up around each other. When Sam goes to Stanford, Dean stays behind to hunt on his own. But when Dean can't stand being away from Sam any longer, he goes to see Sam at Stanford. And what he finds sends him into a downward spiral no one could have been prepared for.

Art Warnings!!!: (The Rest of the art below this cut are depictions of major fic spoilers and some gore. Please, only click the “Keep Reading” link if you are mentally prepared and have already read the fic.)

Artist Commentary: (scroll down some more if you just want the art)

I struggled a lot with coming up with what I wanted to do for this fic. My author gave me a free rein to do whatever scenes and styles inspired me. They only asked for obsessed!Dean, innocent!Sam, and concerned fathers Bobby and John.

I chose not to focus on John or Bobby. I threw the idea around for a bit, but I’m not really adept at drawing them so I didn’t want to obsess, hah, about how it doesn’t look like them enough. So, all the art is mostly about Sam and Dean.

Again, I wanted this story’s art to be creepy. I wanted most of it to come off unsettling. So I looked at horror games. “Dreaming Mary” was the first one I looked at. It was a cutesy, very disturbing and triggering game. It had two-faced characters, warped reality, chibis, and some silhouettes. I figured it was a good direction to go in.

But, then when I started sketching out silhouette ideas, my friend ended up saying it reminded her of “Fran Bow”’s cut scenes. I’m not really a fan of Fran Bow. It was too random for me, but I probably did subconsciously draw inspiration from that game too. And, I decided to visit that game some more. So I combined the thoughts that I got from both games.

At first, I was thinking about black and white silhouettes with a black and white film feel. But, I already did black and white in suffocation. I wanted these illustrations and style to be different because it’s an entirely different story. So, red is the new white.

I did the title card first. I drew inspiration from old turner classic movie intros before you see the main feature film with the spotlight and text font and placement. I made a bunch of hearts that stare at you to convey obsession. I drew skulls to showcase death and to be creepy. The patterns I made were supposed to be unsettling. I completed the rest of the illustrations in this order, scene: 1, 4, 2, 5, 6, 3. And, all the scenes are supposed to be the world through Dean’s twisted lens.

Scene 1: they’re in an alleyway with Sam yelling. I tried to make him look young here, to convey innocence. Light is coming from the back of Sam to show that the alleyway is vaguely dark.

Scene 2: Lol. I tried. It ended up looking goofy and oddly enduring to me. I love my drooling boy. He’s not drooling, he’s bleeding. Lee here has lost his hands, has a broken jaw, and is getting his eyes poked in with Dean’s thumbs.

Scene 3: Dean is happy to finally get close and personal with Sam. I tried to make Sam look innocently at Dean in shock, and Dean more sultry, whatever. There is a wall behind Sam. The arm that is caressing Sam’s hair is a different shade of red to make it stand out so it doesn’t get lost in their combined silhouette and that it looks like it’s further in the background. The light here is so you don’t get to distracted by all the empty space to the left. And, it's because of my sleep-deprived mind, but when I stare at the area around their noses for long enough they look like they are moving towards each other.

Scene 4: I was really excited about drawing this idea. So, this is Dean’s reality finally breaking down. To him in the roadhouse, these are all the monsters trying to take Sam away from Dean. John, Bobby, and Victor from left to right. The monster designs were me trying to connect the title heart faces to how Dean sees everyone that’s not Sam. In everyone else’s reality, Sam’s pissed at Dean. It is the Sam that jabbed Dean in the side, watched his fiance get killed, got kidnapped, know about Lee getting killed, probably had dubious sex with unrelated Dean, and so on. So, while the silhouette Sam is gasping, or yelling in innocent concern, reality Sam is less innocent and more pissed. Lol, Real-Sam's frown might be too exaggerated to be taken seriously....sigh.

Scene 5: I was actually very proud of how real-Dean turned out here, I doubt I’ll ever get it that good again in this style. I tried to make Real-Dean rougher and more disturbed looking, and like he will gut everyone not-Sam. The shiny glass looking thing behind Dean is a swot member arresting Dean. The arms are Dean’s view of the swot members. They don’t get real bodies because they are not important in Dean’s view here andIgotlazy.

Scene 6: Remember when I said earlier when I don’t think I’d get it that good again. Well, I didn’t. It’s not bad, but this Dean didn’t come out as good, which really bummed me out. It’s good enough, but not what I wished it could be. Dean the stalker is stalking Sam here. I’m happy with my car (even though I can’t draw a steering wheel to save my life) and fuzzy background though, and I normally hate cars and backgrounds. Bad Dean for not wearing his seat belt though. Do not emulate, kids.

Overall, I’m happy or okay with what I did here depending on what we’re pointing out.

Enjoy, if you can!♥♥♥

Musical Inspiration (Things that I listened to this time to get in the mood to draw, but not meant as an accompaniment to the fic):

I listened to a lot of the same stuff for this project as I did for “Suffocation” but here are some ones that I didn’t list before | Dark Piano - Waiting for Sunrise | Little Nightmares OST "A Feeling for Meat" | Dark Piano - Witch | HANNIBAL OST MEDLEY | Emotional Music - A Nostalgic Dream |

#spneldritchbang #wincest #dean/sam #sam/dean #sam winchester/dean winchester #unrelated wincest #sam winchester appreciation #dean winchester appreciation #myart #spn event #2019 #tagging for the squeamish #cw: gore #eldritch moods #spn art #spn fic #fic spoilers

[garoudikk]

Too Far Gone

GAROUS CONFLICT Kid Sofia: Explain it to me again so I can understand it. Garou took a deep breathe while rolled his eyes. Kid Garou: Again with this? You know I’m not gonna keep explaining if, you’re never listening. Ok, the female spider eats the head of the male spider after they mate. The male spider dies Kid Sofia: If he dies, how will he know she’s in love with him? She said, as she grow her body closer to his, curling up near him as he held the new big book about the encyclopedia of bugs from the school library. Garou gave an obnoxious gazed back at Sofia, as he quickly shifted her view from her and then back at the book. Kid Garou: Bugs don’t fall in love, SQUID GIRL. They’re nothing like humans, and they actually have more of a neurological capacity, more than the average human anthropoid. Garou often called her squid girl, because he found her appearance often weird, her plumed rose, red cheek, blonde wavy hair, stronger than average, skin to the bone legs or her weird factual chin features, either way to garou she was an obsessive annoying unpleasant kid with narcissism issues. Sofia gave garou a rather bored expression from the corner of her eyes, as she watched him indulge himself deeply into every page of the book his eyes racing through the words with so much passion, it caused Sofia to grow a crump frown in the corner of her mouth. Kid Sofia: Blah! Blah! Blah! You spend so much time with books you never pay attention to me or we never play games at the park we just come here so you can read. Kid Garou: Why would I pay attention to you, you’re annoying and I can never get you to stop following me after class, so I just got used to having you around. Garou spoke carelessly as he folded each page not noticing the dash of an angering blush that appeared across Sofia’s face. Kid Sofia: Oh yeah? Sofia said with a glowing angry glare, she than to it upon herself to make him suffer for hurting her feelings, she knew garou hated being teased. Especially when it was coming from a popular kid like tacchan or the other kids in school, which Sofia was included in that category around their school, rich, popular, smart, overly praised. She jumped up off the bunch her and garou sat on, and snatched his book from his hands taking off over to swings. Garou than grow fiercely angered, as he quicken himself after her for his book. Kid Garou: UGH!!!!!!! GET ME BACK MY BOOK, YOU BURNT MEAT FACE. Kid Sofia: Not until you apologize charity boy, but even than I’ll probably just make you suffer. She then seductively stuck her tongue out at garou in a teasing manner which only pissed him off even more, as he chased her down the entire park until he retrieved his book which ran him out of breath doing so, panting to catch his breath he looked back up at Sofia whom now proceeded on the swings, placing both her feet towards the seat as she rocked back and forth giggling at garou’s recent failure loss of breath. Kid Sofia: Serves you right charity case, now we are even. That’s what you get for hurting my feelings. The wind that rushed over the both of them, flashing Sofia dress up completely, garou than looked up her with the same rage in his eyes he looked upon tacchan all the other rich popular kids in school. It was no doubt about it, Sofia was indeed a prick in his eyes. Rich, infamous, narcissistic, and bratty. She has no ideal what it was like to be in his shoes he thought, this is why the rich and the poor could never see eye to eye. He looked back down at the sand angrily as he spoke to himself in his conscious, one of these days he’ll show them all who’s the charity case. After things calm down the wind keep mincing full powerful thrust of air as Sofia swing her body on the wind moving her pelvis faster and faster with the wind while she smiled in joy, garou noticing her weird movement, and with each swing her panties showing more and more he grow seemingly annoyed and disgusted. Kid Garou: You’re a pervert, do you not know you panties are flashing the more you do that? Kid Sofia: Is it because you’re looking at my panties garou? Huh????? Do you like them? Garou than begin to rage. Kid Garou: Look you’re so damn annoying alright just go away. Kid Sofia: I can’t, she giggled. Than I would be giving you what you want, and that’s no fun. As Sofia bend over looking at garou from between her legs and giggling while her pink princess panties revealed themselves from underneath her prompt dress. Kid Sofia: Garou, what color is my underwear?! she bounced on the chair of the swing as the wind blow her dress even higher with every twist and twirl. Kid Sofia: Hahahaha! I’m censoring myself, owwww garou better stop me! Garous expression grew strange irate. He fixed his concentration on the book in his hands, as he pressed his back towards handles of the playground slide. Trying his best to ignore her perplexing actions. He then proceeded to bury himself deep into the book, that nothing else or no one else mattered. As the sun set drew near, and the star starts to answer the call of the sky Sofia felt a sense of sadness grow over her mind, as all the life flew out of her eyes. Kid Sofia: Garou? I probably won’t see you after today.. Kid Garou: That’s a good thing. He said ignoring her presence. Kid Sofia: Garou..? Kid Garou: What is it know can’t you stop talking for five minutes. Kid Sofia: If I disappeared, she said with lifelessness in her eyes. Would you…..hope……..I’d return? Kid Garou: I wouldn’t really care, life would probably be better. Sofia looked at the back of garou’s head, he did not notice the lifelessness she felt inside know she wouldn’t be able to have moments like this anymore with him. She felt a pain in her hurt knowing that. Staring back at the seat of the swing , focusing all her attention on her feet placed firmly to the core of the seat, the wind than made hissing noises surrounding the space between her fragile little lanky legs. As the felt emptiness between them and in her heart. Kid Sofia: Well ...I wouldn’t be the same if you weren't here like normal when I come to the park, I just feel fear… As Sofia whispered she revealed her true intentions. Kid Sofia: Because then I’ll know you’d never want to be around me…..and it would hurt ...knowing someone important to you has gone away because they hate you ...right? Kid Garou: Yeah, yeah, Im not listen to something more important has gotten my attention. Garou flipped hastening through the pages of his favorite book eating every word alive as if it was soothing him like music to his soul. As Sofia watched him sink into extreme indulgence, her expression began to fail, she knew after today she’d no long see garou anymore, moving to another country for her mother’s marriage arrangements only made her worry, and the fact garou didn’t get why she did the things she did, like teasing him, annoying him, even going so far to follow him to the park everyday after school, watching him being picked on from the shadows, or noticing his walking home having conversations with himself finding it funny. even Knowing she’d disappear for good but he’d never acknowledge it or care to know he was the only reason…..reason she believed she could be set free from the burdens of her life, the expectation, ther perfectionism...garou didn’t get it, Sofia envy how free, and how much he could be himself and not be judged for it, normally that envy would grow into hatred, but hers was the complete opposite she loved him, she envied him, she needed a reason for him to be her savior. Looking back at the sky hoping it will send her some form of comfort, but all she could see was the blue purple screen beat the sun into the shadows as it rushed towards night fall, she remembered the feeling of wanting to cry but tears would not present themselves in her eyes. She……She….. Sh...s…. LODGE Garou: HA! Garou’s eyes widened as he rushed his body up quickly, blood rusting towards his brain causing a pulsating headache. Rubbing his head he hoped that would give him a sense of relief, but it only made matters worse. It was a year after the defeat of the monster associate, and garou was finally a year older, reaching the age of adult maturity was never easy especially in these circumstances. Garou: The same damn shitty dream three nights in a row huh? What the fuck is wrong with me? He hauled, as a scoffing smile appeared quickly and disappeared from his face. Sweat push itself down the side of garou’s face, its no doubt about it this was a continuation of a nightmare for him, removing himself from the lodge he’d been staying in near bangs dojo, he exposed his naked body to the sunshine beaming light. Not much for a cozy tight warm cottage, but he knew he had to work with what he had. Tch, why now?! He thought. His mind launching him into an all out war, his memory persecuting him, while destorting his reality with broken pieces of the past. “Why me?! Why now...why can’t it be dreams about the day that ugly ass kid spoke up for me against the heroes.” As garou’s naked presence haunched over the water he began to wash his face, as he heard a creeping sound of sticks breaking, and the bushes moving behind his back. Garou: Show yourself fucker! He hissed. As bang appeared before garou, in a slouching position, with his hands behind his back, while hold a new set of clothes. Bang: I see you still leave yourself wide open when it comes to keeping your guard up. Garou: Tah! You just caught me on a deep thought Old Geezer I wouldn't count my lucky if I where you. Why are you here? Bang begans to walk up slowly towards, as he showed great disdain for garou’s lack or sympathy and humbleness. Bang: You know they say pride is man’s greatest downfall, it gets in the way of their oversight making it hard for them to see their own demise in battle or even the real world. Garou: Don't sell a crappy ass philosophy, I don’t need it! Furthermore I don’t base my decision and experiences off of gestures. Bang closed his eyes upon garou’s intolerance, he thought garou knew nothing of what honor, or diligence meant, or what it possibly meant to suffer to achieve those aspects of life. He was rather a quick winded person, knowing garou has not undergone enough suffering to make him invert his childish mentality. Bang: You’re older today garou, isn’t that right? it’s time you started acting like it. You’ll be put at the feet of your enemies if you keep this act up. I won’t have you causing unnecessary trouble, understand? Bang finally threw the clothes into garou’s arms. As he laden his way back to the bushes, right before he stopped himself. Bang: In this world there are no freebies, everything comes with a price to pay, your here because I took pity on you even after your betrayal. Do not make me regret my decision. Bangs began walking again towards the bushes until he was no longer in plain site. Garou than watching him walk off, as he scoffed at bangs presence disappearing. BACK AT THE DOJO As bang proceeded to open the door Charanko raced over to him, in a quick manner. Charanko: Master Bang, you’re back. Where did you go? Bang, rather didn’t speak a word, instead he hesitantly peeked his eyes over at the shining floors sparkling in the sun's beam. He then giving off a pleasing smiled, modestly as he spoke. Bang: You’ve done so spectacular Charanko, the floors look as shiny as ever, and you did not miss a spot this time. Charanko noticed his master obvious but formal attempt to switch the conversation over towards his task he’s completely, which bang has always noticed but has yet to realize the floor shining looks exactly the same everyday when he cleans them. Charanko than looks down at the floor in a sense of worry, before he gazed back at bang in seriousness. Bang: Hm? What’s wrong? Charanko: You went to see him didn’t you? Bang: It’s nothing to worry for Charanko garou isn’t committing such acts anymore. Bang said, while pass by charankos shoulder as he patted him. To Charanko garou’s betrayal was a personal thing, that really hurt Bang. He vowed to make that bastard pay, but for some reason bangs influence always stood in the way of him doing so. Charanko couldn't understand it, but he hated how compassionate Bang was in totally towards those who’ve wronged him, especially someone like garou. Averting his eyes back towards walking silent Bang, charanko’s expression grew saddened. Charanko: If you say so, master bang. MODEL SOFIA JOUTORU The streets of California never seemed this busy, flashing street lights, cars honking their horns in the review of their drivers seats at intersection clogging, cars pulling out in front of the other. Everyone in a hurry to get to their where they were going, the sidewalks filled with laughter, and jots of people left and right, up and down the street corners. Sofia checked the watch on her waist impatiently looking around for her modeling agency. Sofia: Excuse me? How long will it be before we reach 50th Street & Dalton? She said, while moving closer towards the driver's seat. Driver: We’re five minutes away at most pretty lady. Just sit back and relax. He said with a safe grin across his face. She flew back in the seat as her eyes shifted, towards the window, noticing two small children playing at the park the driver past the alley sides off the streets. Sofia suddenly started to remember her childhood a once little facetious girl, playing around with an overly emotional down to earth boy. Her eyes began to slowly close as she felt the past feelings of sadness & regret rushing through her mind. Driver: We are here miss. Sofia’s eyes flashed open, as she gave a panicky expression on her face hearing the driver rash words. She gaze out the window, opening the door of the car. Her eyes perplexed viewing the twenty story high Belington Building. As the driver took off, she proceeded her steps into the opening automatic doors. Sofia looked in her visual view tensely as she approached the receptionist, at the building counter. She then took the pen next to the sign-in clipboard. Receptionist: Hi, miss Joutoru, you won’t be needing to sign in. The receptionist said with a joyful tone in her voice and a smile brighter than the sun. Receptionist: Your mother personally asked me to send you right up, as soon as you arrived. Sofia: Is she in the main room again today? Receptionist: No, Lady Belen is going to be on the 12th floor in the cardario room. Sofia: Thank you. She said giving back formal smile. As she took the elevator, up towards the twelfth floor. Her mother raising her voice as she was giving out commands normally as usual. Sofia: Mom? Belen turned as she jumped with excitement. Belen: Ohh! THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE HONEY!! These unethical morons are making my job harder than it has to be. She whispered as she winked out of the corner of her eye, at Sofia. Belen than beginning to walk off in the distance. Belen: Hurry now sweetheart, we’ll have to prepare for your shoot as soon as tenshia finishes hers. Belen turned, seeing Sofia stood at attention with a held down expression & those same lifeless eyes as she got when she got if she was going to have a seizure like she did as a child. Belen: Oh! Fia! She said dramatically cause Sofia to jump up and catch her eyes, panting short breaths from her stomach, as her eyes pierced signals of help. Belen: Oh, Baby!!! You’re skulking again, oh, mamae! She rub the sides of Sofia’s cheeks as she called nick her assistant that ran errands for her mom on the daily. Nick than ran over as a jetting jaguar. Belen, then curved Sofia in her arms, as she caressed, and kissed her forehead. Nick: Yes ma’am? Belen: Sweety, get my personal make-up artist on the phone, and please bring us two black coffees. Nick: Yet ma’am, right away. Belen kissed Sofia’s head as she held her in her arms seeking to give her comfort, but Sofia could not feel anything but a void inside of herself. Belen: Aw, my baby. Ai Meus Deus! INVESTIGATORS Investigator Miks: Time of the death? Inspector Binji: 9:05 PM Mik: Name? Binji: Tou Shimeri, he’s a doctor sir, at the richest pharmaceutical hospital in japan. Miks exhaled in uproar as he rubbed his thumb and index finger across his eyes. Miks: Time now Binji? Binji: The time now is 2:00 AM, Sir. As Binji spoke those words, Miks in raged with anger stood from his crouching position, where dead body laid, and kicked the office desk in the room that was sitting next to the dead doctor, to a wall. Miks: Those fucking mafia clowns, this reeks of those fucks, they’re on my fucking streets Binji killing my people, very innocent people Binji. Do you know how that makes us look to the DA? Binji: Like loiterers, sir? Investigator Miks gropes Binji his collar yanking him in a standing position. Miks: That makes us look very shitty to the DA Binji, wanna know why? Because the DA don’t have time for two portless pussies on the streets bring back no convict or evidence to prove they’re guilty. Those FBI cocksuckers will get a slap on the waist for ass kissing. Miks slapped Binji in the back of the head. The inspector glided his hand on the now very tender spot miks slapped in pain, he could see his boss was angry, but more so, abrasively annoyed. The thing he hated more than failure, was FBI copes. Mik noticed the other investigators run in towards the scene of the crime. They took photos, some even wrote more information of the crime scene down. Mik: Clean this shit up, we don’t need those FBI ass kissers on our backs about this one. He said to all the rest of the investigators that just arrived on the scene. Back at the DAs Office building in Tokyo Japan, Investigator Dials which was Miks right hand man, report abruptly to Miks office, as he opened his door he found him standing at the peak of his window deemed through the blinds. Dials: Mr. Shinji, you wanted to see me sir. Miks looked up towards dials barely poked head in the creak of the door. Miks: Dials come in, come in. Dials finally stepped inside the room completely as he closed the door behind him. Sitting in the chair across from Miks desk. Mik: We found similarities to the deaths of Xiauo Lei a former Chinese Yamaguchi Mafia member, and Doctor Tou Shimeri. Fact is Royale Yamaguchi, has a history & connection with both. Dials: Royale Yamaguchi, THE ROYAL YAMAGUCHI, the same man that served a 20 year sentence for the murder of his late wife, and his brother Reguri Yamaguchi 10 years ago? Miks: So you do know this cluck? Dials: The FBI has been doing a light security surveillance on him for the past couple of months since has left prison. He’s had a pretty bad run in with the gangs in Korea & China around the same time. Rumor has it he has a son now. Mik: Listen I need you to capture this guy and take him into custody, we’ll make the kid talk later. Check his background, see if he has gangs, running the connection with the tijuana drug trafficking in Cali. I need you to file those papers and have them on my desk Monday. Dials: Yes sir. Miks: Oh! Dials one more thing. As Dials started to walk off, but turned towards Investigator Miks instead. Dials: Yes sir? Miks: Also do a prior investigation on a previous head gang leader by the name of Smooth or “Gazmo” his real name is Saeji Joutoru, you know him? Dials: No sir, but I can definitely research his files, and dig up any access information. Miks: Good. PALACE FAMILY Romans steps click and clack down the halls on the well polished floor of the Yamaguchi mansion, a mansion so big you could get lost just by turning a corner. Roman started at the back of Eluises head whom had been his father's personal house worker for many generations. Roman: Eluis when are you gonna quit this place and move to miami with your wife Luis? Eluis: I could never leave your father young sir, he has been very gracious to me and my family in my long-standing youth and elder age. As Eluis turned the corner of every hall in the house Roman followed, dashing the squeaky polished floors as their steps mutter down them. Until they finally reach the penthouse room where romans father resided. Eluis: Right this way, your father awaits you. As the house worker open the two sided doors Roman approached them with the most upright joy, to see his father after 10 years. It had been so long he forgotten how his father looked. Royale: Son! Is that you? He walked down from his chair with a cane in his left hand, surprised at what he had found. He now adult, and deviously handsome son standing taller than him in his presence, royale reach in hugging Roman tightly with joy. As he looked back at romans face a smile grew widely, while he rubbed his hands across his sons cheeks. Roman: Hi, Papa. Roman said as a laugh for joy formed in his stomach. Royale could not believe what he was seeing, his beautiful son standing before him hawking over him, he than grab hold of romans neck, fell on him and kissed him, as he sob a bit. Royale: My Boy! Roman: Ok pop, it’s ok, I'm here. Royale looked back up at Roman as he whipped his eyes Royale: look at you! I remember when you were ten, and had those pansy girly legs. He looked down at romans tall stature, and donned back at his face as royale grabbed his cheeks with both his hands. Royale: Now you’re a man, wearing pants. I’ve never been prouder! Royale kissed Romans head. Roman smiled, at his father's admonishing compliment Roman: Thank you papa. Royale: Come my boy we tons to discuss. walking out on the balcony of his penthouse he and Roman sat under the stars as he lite two cigars and places them on the ashtray sitting in the middle of the table. Royale: Boy, you’re gonna be the death of me some day. Your uncle Reguri would be proud if he saw you, he’d also still would be here if he wasn’t fucking your mom, and so would she. Roman: I agree pop, they both betrayed you, just like that fucking doctor, that’s worse than running from the vows we take as mafia fam. Royale: Both are betrayal, but I suppose you have a point one is greater than the other. He said puffing his cigar. Royale saw the proud smile across romans face as he looked upon him interested to tell him the news he'd just had received about his doctors sudden death. Royale: Son, you remember that Tou, they found him dead in his office on the news today. Roman sunk in his seat with his legs slouched over the chair, while royale flicked his cigar on the tip of the ashtray. Roman: Yeah what about him? Roman said, as he gave an unresolving irritable expression across his face. Royale than pulled the cigar back towards his lips and puffed it. As he stared back at his son. Royale: Did you kill him? Roman: I did. You’ve been seeing that dung cunt for about a year now, you mean to tell me all this time went by he still hasn’t found a cure for your cancer? You’re near your deathbed pop, and all this fucking mook has is treatments & excuses? Man, get the fuck out of here! Royale than crush the burning end of the cigar into the pit of the ashtray slowly, as he quickly grabbed romans neck in a rush, using all his brutal force and tugging his hand at the sides of romans neck, he held his sons head down stifling. Royale: Son, do you not know the detriment to what you’ve done? This has caused not only the DA dogs to be after me, but I’m sure the FEDS will be right behind them. Have I not told you about making irresponsible choices? Roman: Yes, pop! Roman said in a worrying and afraid tone as his father let the back of his neck lose. Royale: You’re fucking irresponsible with a gun. Roman: Pop what else did you expect me to do? You were only getting sicker and that fuc-... Royale: THAT FUCK WAS THE BIGGEST FUCKING PHARMACEUTICAL DOCTOR IN THIS COUNTRY!! Royale spoke in a highly disgusted tone. He covered his hand over his mouth, expressing disappointment and disband for his own son. Royale: Roman, in this game of wars you have to play fair, who am I kidding you’re only twenty one. You don’t know the first thing about being the boss, because I’ve never been able to teach you. Hell, half the time of your life growing up I was incarcerated. Roman: Listen pop, I can do this! You can trust me I’m not a kid anymore, I can handle the family business Royale looked up at his son seriously. Royale: No you can’t because you let stupid shit like this go overboard leaving us in a very bad situation do you understand? Roman could only look at his father in a perplexing manner of shock. Royale: But I’m not gonna let this ruin your life like it did mines. One wrong move those fucking suckers will be on you like a racing horse. Royale then primped up from his chair and touched Romans shoulder. Royale: I want you to leave this behind kid, move on with your life, get married, have a family, you’ve never had those experiences, go out, experiment, live a little. PLEASE never come back to this shit again. Roman: No! I won’t do it! Royale swiftly grab romans neck as he pulled him courageously towards his face, pointing his finger with every word he spoke. Snaring up his nose as he spoke. Royale: YES THE FUCK YOU WILL DO IT! BECAUSE I SAID SO. Romans eyes began to form cloudy, red pools of water, as he could do nothing but humbled himself to his father's wish before he sobbed. Royale: If you don’t leave this shit alone it will snatch your LIFE from right under, do you understand? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? Roman: Yes, pop….. Roman said as he gave out a strained sob, his disfigured face only causing Roman to hold his son in his arms as he cried. Royale: Its ok, your gonna be ok, ill make sure of that, I want a better life for you kid that’s all, It’s no doubt about it they’re gonna come looking for-.... However, before Royale could finish his sentence the SWAT team burst into the penthouse doors charging both Roman and Royale at gunpoint , as a familiar FED by the name of George Chou behind him progressed two unknown agents of his division handcuffing them both in brutal mannerisms, one slamming Romans body against against the wall, and another pull Royale harshly to his knees, placing his hands on his head as he handcuffed him. Roman: Yo! GET THE FUCK OFF HIM LIKE THAT! The agent holding Roman slammed his face into the brick wall only making him angered. Roman: YO THIS IS BULLSHIT! Chou slid behind Roman and near Royale, looking at them both in an exciting drastic expression. George Chou: Royale and Roman Yamaguchi, we’ve finally got a case we can nail you both and put you behind bars for life, but now that we’ve barged into this unannounced and uninvited party!.............THAT’S JUST DOWN RIGHT ASTOUNDING, ISN'T IT?! He said, with a sarcastic grin across his face, the grin slowly disappearing once he fell silent. His shoes clacking back and forward between the two. Chou than look towards both the FBI agents hold Roman and Royale down as he flicked his head towards the doors giving them a signal to proceed. George: Take them away. The FBI agents and swat teams both moved Roman and his father outside in an attentive manner, lumping them both inside the swat cars in handcuffs. TO BE CONTINUED

#Garou #garouopm #garouxreader #fanfic #garouthemonster #herohunter #onepunchman #onepunchmanfanfic #humanmonster

[secretskxxper-blog]

Task 2: Meet the Mun

01. what’s your name/alias you go by ?? 

I go by Salem

02. what’s your age ??

I am 21 years old

03. what’s your zodiac sign ??

Sagittarius babyeeee

04. what’s your ethnicity ??

I am caucasian, pale as the pure driven snow

05. what’s your nationality ??

I am American, I live in the state of Ohio

06. what’s your favorite band and/or musical artist ??

Ed Sheeran or Stray Kids

07. what’s your dream job ??

I want to teach High school history

08. what’s one place you would love to visit ??

Ireland or England

09. what’s your favorite tv show ??

Friends, I could watch it over and over again

10. what’s your favorite movie ??

Aside from Harry Potter, I love The Nightmare Before Christmas

11. what’s your favorite song ??

Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears

12. what’s your favorite sport ??

Baseball but im not a sports person

13. what’s your favorite food ??

Cheeseburgers

14. what’s your favorite face claim to use ??

Sophie Turner or Bang Chan 

15. what’s your least favorite face claim ??

Lili Reinhart... Its a personal things but other people can use her!

16. what’s your favorite character of yours to play ?? which do you think you’re most like ??

I have played Beverly Marsh as an young adult before and I loved playing her. Though, Cosima is also I relate to a lot!

17. what’s your sexuality ??

I identify as Asexual

18. what’s the last movie you saw in a cinema/theater ??

Crimes of Grindlewald

19. what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had ??

I have led a life pretty physically unscathed but I have broken some toes and that SUCKED

20. what’s a random or interesting fact about you ??

I used to collect stamps as a child

21. do you listen to music while you write ??

No, I watch sitcoms or tv shows ive seen a million times

22. are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer ??

I like to write in the early afternoon or evening, depending on my off days

23. have you ever roleplayed intoxicated ??

Nope

24. what language or languages do you speak ??

I speak english primarily and have been learning Korean on and off for three years

25. how long have you roleplayed ??

I have been roleplaying for 7 years

26. favorite roleplay genre ??

I love supernatural or like disenyverse rps 

27. one sound you hate & one you love ??

I hate the sound of like arcade machines and I love the sound of rain 

28. do you believe in ghosts ??

Yeeeepppers

29. do you believe in aliens ??

Sure! The universe is so vast! 

30. do you believe in true love ??

Uhm maybe if it happens it happens but im totally okay with being alone

31. do you hold grudges ??

I used to but im working on not holding them because it's bad juju

32. do you have any obsessions right now ??

Stray Kids and Hadestown! Would love to bring Eurydice or Orpheus for ANGST

33. do you drive & if so, have you ever been in a crash ??

I do not drive, I am autistic! I have been in a small crash

34. do you like the smell of gasoline ??

No, It burns my nose tbh

35. do you prefer writing fluff, angst, or smut ??

Angst!

36. are you in a relationship ??

I am a single pringle

37. grab the nearest book to you and turn to page 23, what is the 17the line ??

“And what about the rumor about keyholes? That you can ... become steam and go through them” - Interview with a Vampire, Anne Rice

38. put your playlist on shuffle and list the first four songs that pop up: 

uhgood RM

Give me love Ed Sheeran

Truth Hurts Lizzo

Insomnia Stray Kids

#pandemonium: task

[nofliight]

I was listening to this song because sometimes it’s just a thing you do and all I can think is how this kind of mysterious royal cool guy routine is 100% what Pit thinks he’d need to do to impress Zelda or other princesses, like

ooc;; This kind of stuff definitely falls in line with his other Actually Being Cool fantasies

#pit about. #midnight thoughts let's fucking GOOOOOOO #i wANTED to post the bandori version too but as alWAYS that seems to be in not-on-youtube hell atm #listening obsessively to bang dream music is a NIGHTMARE #BUT ANYWAYS yeah he's such....... a dORK he YEARNS to be someone cool and admirable #THE PIT MINDSCAPE AESTHETIC IS HIM KNOWING HE'S A MASSIVE DORK AND WANTING TO BE COOL #NOT UNDERSTANDING THAT UNLIKE BACK HOME A LOTTA PPL ACTUALLY /LIKE/ HIS BUBBLY DORK TENDENCIES #anyways sorry for the wait guys looks like this blog's ACTUALLY back in action

[heartcravings]

50 Questions Tag!

@jongin-be-my-jagi​ tagged me for this a while ago, but I took my sweet time to answer. Here is my secret intel if you want to know me a little bit more!! Check hers as well, she’s an amazing writer and friend. 1. What takes up too much of your time? Tumblr, my stupid procrastination prone brain and my thesis. 

2. What makes your day better? Friends and loved ones, music and these absolute dorks (Channie especially) 

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? I hopped on the mat today in the early hours of the morning, rain on my window and the neighbours cat peeking at me from his window across the street.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? Wonderland, bacause it’s “curiouser and curiouser!”

'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar.  Alice replied, rather shyly, 'I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

5. Are you good at giving advice? I think so. Not so good at following my own advice though.  I do always consider where the other is standing and if I don’t know how to proceed then I’ll just be honest and say I can’t help. But i’ll always listen with my heart. 

 6. Do you have any mental illnesses? Not diagnosed. I do think i might be going through something now. 

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, but i have a recurring nightmare: the world is made of black and white paper thin layers. I am a paper thin person walking along a street surrounded by paper thin buildings. I walk for a long time, looking up at the white sky. Until the street ends, there is no more building and i fall into the abyss of a blank page.  I have had this dream since the age of 8 or 9 years old. Fear of not being good enough, you say?! Ding, ding, ding!! We got a winner in the back!  8. What musician inspired you the most? I get inspired by music all the time!! One of my all time favourite songs is Spanish Sahara by Foals. Its sublime!

So I’d say I’m mainly inspired by these artists: Queen, Arctic Monkeys, Foals, Radiohead, Bowie, Daughter, Bob Dylan, Beirut, Yeah yeah yeahs, Arcade Fire, The National, Joy Division, Blur, Warpaint, Gorillaz, Sufjan Stevens, Bon Iver, Chet Baker, The Cure, Courtney Barnett, The Maccabees, Car Seat Headrest, Florence + The Machine, Editors, Kasabian, Crystal Fighters, Death Cab for a cutie, The Doors, Efterklang, Explosions in the Sky, Franz Ferdinand, The Horrors, James Blake, José Gonzalez, Los Campesinos!,  Metronomy, Nick Cave, Nina Simone, Patrick Watson,  Phoenix, Sharon Van Etten, The Shins, Simon & Garfunkel, The Smiths, St.Vincent, The Strokes, Toro y Moi, tricot, Tune-Yards, TV on the radio, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, The Vaccines, Vampire Weekend, The Velvet Underground, The War on Drugs, Wild Beasts and Yo La Tengo.

And the electro, pop and hip-hop groves of my heart: EXO, 2NE1, Janelle Monáe, Big Bang, Kris Wu,LCD soundsystem, SBTRKT, Childish Gambino, Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar and Daft Punk. 

And special mentions to the portuguese ones (learning from yixing and promoting when i can :P): Capicua, Joana Espadinha, The Legendary Tigerman, Linda Martini, Mayra Andrade, Noiserv, Ornatos Violeta, Paus, Samuel Uria, You Can’t Win Charlie Brown and The Silence 4. I know, tldr right? Sorry folks! 9. Have you ever fallen in love? Yes I have. I have mistaken a crush for love too. But i have definitely been very deeply in love. A wrecked kintsugi heart over here people! 10. What’s your dream date? I don’t think I have one. I’d love to do something unique with that someone special, something special for the two of us. It could be as simple as riding the subway while sharing earphones & listening to our playlist or walking the dogs out! Idk, I’m easy to please. But right now it would have to be with this handsome man :D pretty please?!

11. What do others notice about you? I am very kind and warm hearted, so I think that’s what people first notice when meeting me. Although I maintain good eye contact, I am also timid and will be quieter if there are very energetic people in the group. When alone, I usually take the first step and try to meet people, but only if i really must.  12. What’s an annoying habit you have? It’s really hard for me to ask for help. I also like to tell detailed descriptions of everything... Couldn’t you tell? 13. Do you still talk to your first love? I’ll text him on his birthday and he does the same to me. We met when we were 10 years old and that childhood friendship remains. But regarding my one and truly deep relationship, no we do not talk, unless we randomly meet.

14. How many exes do you have? I have three exes. The first love who was just an idealized crush on my childhood friend: we dated for 2 weeks during summer break xD Then my first real boyfriend, we met in my first year at university, dated for quite some time, he really loved me and made me love myself a little more. Finally the one i loved too much. I mended his wounds and made him love himself as much as I did. I always say all the love we feel makes our hearts grow bigger. I do not regret loving any of them, I am me now due to them and I would not change it if I could. 15. How many songs are in your playlist? I have way too many playlists for each and every mood... But my favourite songs list on spotify has about 1500 songs! uwu!  16. What instruments can you play? Triangles and flute?! I had mandatory music classes in school... so in reality I can’t really play a instrument...

17. Who do you have the most pictures of? Probably my cat, Sushi. With a second close of my doodles and sketches. 

18. Where would you like to go before you die? EVERY WHERE!!! But I really want to go to Japan and Scotland and Iceland and South Korea and New Zealand and i’ll shut up. 19. What’s your zodiac? Capricorn. 20. Do you relate to it? Sort of.

21. What is happiness to you? You know when it’s really cold outside in the winter and you manage to find a sheltered place where no wind can hit you and you still get to feel the warm rays of the winter suns on your skin? You hear the birds outside and you are contempt in that moment, at peace. That is happiness to me.   22. Are you going through anything right now? Yes, I am a bit lost. Trying to finish my thesis and trying to find what I want to do after. It’s liberating but also pretty scary. 23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? It’s a series of small decisions really. It started with going for a phd with the same people i worked in my msc. Should have gone to a different place. Then deciding to come home after a traumatic loss in the family. Should have kept my life going but I stalled it then. (I don’t regret helping my loved ones though).

24. What’s your favourite store? Probably Wishtrend for beauty stuff. Other than that I don’t have any favourite brands/stores. 25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion? I think everyone is free to decide what they want or need to do. I couldn’t possible judge. If I would it? Probably not.

27. Do you have a favourite album? I don’t think so, I have favourite tunes for different moods and moments in my life. But if threatened with my life, I’d maybe say Total Life Forever from Foals.

28. What do you want for your birthday? It’s such a long time until my birthday comes! But maybe a real EXO ot9 reunion as a goodbye to Minseok?

29. What is most people’s first impression of you? Friendly and easy to open up to, i think.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? In real life, people usually think I am way younger than I am.  31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping? In the crook of my bed, between the mattress and the bed frame.

32. What word do you say the most? No idea really! 33. What’s the oldest age you’d date? 40s? I don’t think too much about age actually. 

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date? 20s? Again not very important to me. Love is love, whomever, whenever and wherever <3

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you? I don’t know! People always say i don’t totally fit in anything... so there’s that. If you have an idea please let me know! 36. What’s your favourite music genre? Go back to question 8. I listen to everything! :D 37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? I’d like to live around the world, every few months a different place and get to know different cultures.

38. What is your current favourite song? I’ve been obsessed with RM’s intro/teaser song, Map of the Soul: Persona. (I’m not even a bts fan, but this music and lyrics just touched me a lot.)

39. How long have you had this blog for? I think for about 6 years? It’s my personal space, where I dump all my obsessions.  

40. What are you excited for? I’m visiting some friends in Granada in a couple of weeks. Yay, tapas!

41. Are you a better talker or listener? Normally I am a better listener. But there are a few people to whom i open like a book. Either words flow right out of me without even thinking or they see throw me. Those truly are my people.

42. What is the last productive thing you did? Prepped meals and cleaned the kitchen. Open the folder and file of my thesis. Read the latest chapter I wrote.  43. What do you want for Christmas? Well, just like for my birthday, there is still such a long time to it! But let’s say i want to have already finish this part of my life and want to find my next adventure.

44. What class do you get the best grades in? No more exams! Ehehe! But I used to have good grades at everything. Physical Education was my lowest mark i think.

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now? Right now, a 4? I have a headache.

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? Smiling? :D I want to be happy in my own skin. To feel contempt in my life, doing something that gives me a sense of purpose and having time to share and enjoy with my friends and family. 47. When did you get your first heartbreak? Oh my kintsugi heart has been broken quiet a lot. By friends and lovers and even by myself. I keep patching it up with gold dreams though.  48. At what age do you wanna be married? I will only want to be married if i find the one. So until then I guess. 

49. What career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to be an astronaut and a ballerina. Preferably both!

50. What do you crave right now? Just sitting somewhere and listening to Yeol play the guitar.

Well i finished it! :D I’ll tag @thedeviousdo @ohsenhun @hongseok and @paepsi. I’d love to read yours! Feel free to dismiss it though, it is quite a lot.  Lots of love everyone!! <3 <3 <3

#50 questions tag #personal #sam's ramblings #mutuals #hope you enjoy reading about boring old me :) #it's very long i know! i talk too much

[myhearthealing]

Task: 40 Questions

Describe your character in a few words.

Witty, caring, perpetually-stressed, realist.

What do you know about your character that they don’t know yet?

Her mother is even more of a manipulator than she thought.

What are your character’s major flaws?

She isn’t great at articulating what she wants to communicate to others and bottles things up instead of talking about it. She shares information without knowing the full story.

What would your character give their life for?

Noel. Millie and Anya. Any of her family, either her mom or her dad’s side. Any one of those dang Thompsons.

What is your character’s greatest asset?

Her work ethic, her empathy.

What would completely break your character?

The death... or disappearance ...of any of the above mentioned. :|

How does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project?

She tries to act more confident than she actually is.

What is your character afraid of?

Losing her family. Cows.

Where would your character fall on a politeness/rudeness scale?

Bernie is perfectly polite to anyone she meets. That’s the midwest hospitality aspect that was kicked into her.

If your character could choose a different identity, who would they pick?

She is happy who she is, however maybe she would pick a version of her that was better at her powers, and better at being more outgoing.

In what or whom is your character’s greatest faith in?

Bernie puts a lot of trust and faith in her friends Anya and Millie. She mostly counts on herself.

What was the best thing in your character’s life?

Going to the ocean is one of her greatest joys. Spending time with Noel again is amazing. Being able to put her Marine Biology degree to use and work with animals at the aquarium has been amazing. Right now is the best time in her life.

What was the worst thing in your character’s life?

When Noel left her. When she had to confront her mother about her actual parentage, and find out the truth that her father was her stepfather. When she thought Noel died and she would never get to make things better.

What is a favorite flavor or smell of your character?

Salty ocean air. Musty books with yellowing pages.

What seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?

Riding horses with her brother. Ordering pizza every Friday. Her dad’s dumb sayings.

What is your character’s secret wish?

To be more confident, more pretty. That she wouldn’t let little things affect her.

What is your character’s greatest achievement?

Graduating with a bachelor’s, moving out to Greece from small town Oklahoma.

What is your character’s deepest regret?

Not being careful enough when Anya disappeared. She should have been there earlier, she should have met up with her at her house. It was her fault her friend disappeared.

What is your character’s deepest disappointment?

She’s disappointed in herself a lot. The limits on her mental capabilities.

What is your character reluctant to tell people?

How she really feels. She doesn’t like to bother people with her problems and feels embarrassed when she does.

What is your character hiding from themselves?

Maybe her problems stem from not trusting anyone.

What makes this character angry? What calms them?

Bernie is not an angry person. She does get irritated when situations get out of control. She can get angry at herself, though.

List situations in which your character would not have control over themselves.

She is very rarely not in control. All of the time she is overly-controlling of her emotions and actions.

How strong is your character’s emotions? Controllable? Uncontrollable?

Oh hey yeah Controllable.

What wakes your character up in the middle of the night?

She’s a light sleeper so, many things. Loud music, banging. Phone notifications. 

Describe a recurring dream and/or nightmare.

Bernie is driving somewhere in a large suburban, the fields are flat and the road is straight. She is tired so she goes to the back to sleep. When she realizes she’s the one driving, she has to hurdle over the seats to get to the driver’s seat in time to stop at the intersection that always comes up. She’s not a dream interpreter and isn’t sure what this one means.

Describe your character’s family.

Jay Nowak, her stepfather and Trademark Dad. He was there for her mother when she cheated on him with Poseidon and raised Bernie as his own anyway. He farms just like his father did on the same land.

Lauren Nowak, Bernie’s mother. She kept Bernie’s true parentage a secret and was content on never telling her. She is obsessed with keeping the status quo and their family’s reputation. She never admitted it until Bernie had to force it out of her. And then, she admitted the bare minimum and not a very large other detail.

Bernard Nowak, her younger mortal brother. Yes he would also be Bernie but his middle name is Andrew and that’s what they call him. He, unlike Bernadette, had no inclinations to leave the farm and do something else, and so he farms alongside Jay.

Benjamin Thorne, her full fucking brother her mother neglected to tell her about.

Finn Thompson, her half brother through Poseidon and also her boyfriends brother but uhhhh anyways

Harley Carmichael, her sister through Poseidon.

Noel Thompson, her boyfriend and best friend.

Name your character’s favourite person and why.

Noelllllll. He’s someone who’s like home in a person. He gets her in a way that no one else does. 

How many friends does your character have?

Quite a few, maybe only 3-4 close friends though.

How many friends does your character want?

She enjoys the amount she has.

How would a friend or close relative describe your character?

Probably dependable, kind. Caring.

Who depends on your character? Why?

Noel. He has to be the rock to his siblings, so she can be the rock for him.

Who does your character most want to please? Why?

She is a people-pleaser, to the point where it might be a detriment to her. 

How does your character feel about sex?

Bernie enjoys it. She lost her virginity to Noel, and she and him have learned to know what each other like. It’s not incredibly wild or often, but it is passionate and meaningful, and that’s what she loves.

How does your character feel about romantic relationships?

She prefers a relationship that is romantic. She feels that a good one starts with a friendship and builds from that.

If your character had to live in utter seclusion, what six items would they bring?

Five books, and a pillow.

What is your character’s most noticeable trait and most noticeable physical feature?

Her down-to-earth nature, maybe her height lol she’s 5’9”, if not that her smile.

How does your character feel about work?

Scooping ice cream may not be her passion but she does enjoy it now that Lach’s back.

Write one headcanon.

Bernie has a large collection of Breyer model horses that she took with her to Icaria. She has shelves built in her room for them.

Write one additional thing about your character.

Her Spotify playlist is my favorite I listen to it a lot.

#icaria: task

[ktaebwi]

‘WINGS’ Concept Book - Full Translation

Photo Reference © floofyjimin, iamlifeproof KRN - ENG © ktaebwi Do not use for commercial purpose. Credit properly when reposting & re-translating.

Download PDF: MF | Dropbox

List: 1. THE BEGINNING 2. SHORT FILM 3. COMEBACK TRAILER 4. PHOTOGRAPHY 5. BLOOD, SWEAT & TEARS ㅡ INTERVIEW 7. THE WINGS TOUR IN SEOUL

1. THE BEGINNING

DAY Boy (youth) Peaceful, dependent, ideal, moral ↑ EVIL Tempter Dream, secret desire, primitive impulse ↓ NIGHT Evil in reality Bellicose, independent, individual

The concept of <WINGS> was decided then. The ending of “Fire” music video, ‘BOY MEETS WHAT’. The blinking cursor behind the phrase ‘BOY MEETS’ at the ending of “SAVE ME” music video. The story of BTS had already been written then. What the boy will meet is ‘BOY MEETS EVIL’ of <WINGS>, or in other words, the fissures and temptation of the world. Somewhere in the middle of the ‘Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa’ series, the planning for <WINGS> started as BTS looked back on what they felt passing what could be called their best moment in life. After that, producer Bang Shihyuk met the manga <Spiral: The Bonds Of Reasoning> and constructed the outline, though vague it was. <Spiral: The Bonds Of Reasoning> may seem like a simple mystery series, but the protagonist eventually fell into the end, end, end of despair, no, into a much deeper darkness. Despite that, he said it was okay, because all the agony came from his own choice. It was time for BTS to talk about the suffering and the choices a boy has to face in the process of advancing forward and growing up.

The hint gained from this manga - overlapped with the story BTS had been telling - was expanded to the conception of adult and antiadult, nonadult. ‘Antiadults’ believe the realm of adults is full of evil, they refuse to grow up and declare the intention to stay as Peter Pan. On the other hand, ‘nonadults’ have soon known that life is dirty and nasty, but they can’t stop on the path of becoming adults as if someone is pushing them forward. In the end, they can’t become complete adults, and this was also the conception that met BTS who sang ‘Forever We Are Young’ as they wrapped up the ‘Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa’ series.

Looking back, from the start of 'school trilogy' in 2013 to <WINGS>, BTS’ history was the story of why, by what and how the boy lives, and also a great journey to come to that conclusion. In 'school trilogy', BTS were teenagers who aren’t tamed by the rules of the world. They shouted “Hey, what’s your dream?” to peers who don’t have much worry about the future, to the school that forces the same old way of thinking, the same old goals, and to all the adults. Their debut album <2 Cool 4 Skool> and <O!RUL8,2?> (Oh! Are You Late, Too?) were the voice of boys who are young but determined to decide their own life path. That teenage energy passed through <Skool Luv Affair> and <DARK&WILD>, adding the face of the vigorous, red-blooded youth who fight for love recklessly. Dream, happiness, love. They were what teenagers wanted to hear about more than anything, what no one had talked about for a long time, but BTS bared them all out truthfully through 'school trilogy'.

The boys who dashed forward with a spirit as if to destroy the world, at some point, became the wandering youth. The ‘Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa’ days lasted only for a moment, they were dazzingly beautiful and shining more beautifully than ever, but they were also restless, there was nothing they could know. In “I NEED U”, they were obsessed with love, clung to love knowing they would be wounded; in “RUN”, they sang that they wouldn’t stop loving despite sensing they would get hurt. The seven of BTS dashing forward together were the image of the youth willing to face anxiety and suffering itself. Inside the fence called school, inside the world they had set foot in, the boys questioned the world, stepped out of the box and in the end, chose suffering.

And finally, <Demian> and <WINGS>. From ‘Two Realms’ to ‘The Bird Fights Its Way Out Of The Egg’, ‘Jacob Wrestling’, the stories in the book showed the world BTS has created so far and the journey to manhood. Dream, secret desire, those temptations (Evil) left marks on the once peaceful, dependent and moral youth; the boys realized the evil in reality. Experiencing the evil, witnessing their torn-apart egos and eventually coming to self-awareness. It’s the reason the main theme of <WINGS> is temptation and conflict. Like how they rejected the rules set by school and adults in 'school trilogy', like how they ran forward knowing they would get hurt in ‘Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa’ series, BTS once again knew the danger yet still opened the door to meet the evil. From the question of ‘Boy meets what’, the story of <WINGS> began.

SHORT FILM #1 BEGIN Like a nightmare, Suga’s portrait and easel go up in flames. A flock of birds flying casts shadow upon the blazing scene. The drawing in his hands turns into Demian’s drawing of bird. A big pair of wings rises from Jungkook’s silhouette.

SHORT FILM #2 LIE “Tell me the way, stop me, let me breath.” Jimin eats an apple in the all-gray room. His innocent expression spreads into a wicked smile.

SHORT FILM #3 STIGMA V continues to scratch the table legs even in the middle of interrogation. He runs in the dark, gets hit by something invisible and falls down. Moving onto the single room scene.

SHORT FILM #4 FIRST LOVE Continuous whistle, intense light and the sound effect of an accident. Bloodstain and tire tracks left in the road Suga is standing on.

SHORT FILM #5 REFLECTION The telephone continues to ring, the booth is locked in chains. Rap Monster tries to open the door in agony. The telephone stops ringing and he sinks down. The word ‘Liar’ is carved on the floor.

SHORT FILM #6 MAMA J-hope takes a pill and the isolation unit changes like a hallucination. The image of Eva appears.

SHORT FILM #7 AWAKE A shape akin to flame shows up in Jin’s pupils. He lies on the bed and the room is distorted. The curtains flap and the bird flies outside the window.

2. SHORT FILM

The piano burns, the window shatters with a sharp screech. Paint leaks and drips from the portrait. Jungkook watches all of these with fear in his eyes. V recalls his unhappy past, Suga trespasses somewhere and plays the piano, Rap Monster sits in the pitch darkness and tattoos his wrist. They are once again in the position of the restless boys.

They shouted in "EPILOGUE: Young Forever". "I want the me of today to last eternally, I want to be young forever." Living and being hounded ceaselessly by the incitement of the world, they were young forever, wanted to be young forever. To those boys, the short films of <WINGS> where the symbols of <Demian> and the images of 'Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa' series co-exist are the record linking the end of an era with the next one and at the same time, showed that they shall remain boys as ever. Starting with concerns about problems they face at school in debut days, to spending the time of youth and wandering in 'school trilogy', BTS met the temptation from a bigger realm, a more complex outer world in <WINGS>. Jungkook's silhouette spreads its wings unknowingly. Jimin bites the apple with an ambiguous smile. A perplexed J-hope in a paint-scattered room. And finally, Jin drops the apple, burns the lilies, silently touches and stands in front of the rippling mirror. He leaves the photos of all those symbols and goes somewhere. Various traces of 'Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa' remain in the short films, at the same time, the different sides of the members compared to the past implies the transition of BTS. This is the farewell to 'Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa', the most melancholy era to both BTS and every fans, it also means despite that, the story of the boys will continue. They witnessed the fissures of the world, which soon lead to the awakening of their egos. It's time to step into the world of decadence and temptation. The boys remain as restless as ever. In "I NEED U", they were in pain, they fought, they suffered so bad that they drowned themselves in medicine, yet they still played with fireworks and laughed so innocently; in "Run", they ran and screamed as though they would destroy the whole world if they have to. The pain made the moment even more beautiful. The youth BTS spent in 'Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa' was the faces of the insecure boys who fell out of the fence of the world, a world in which grades, parents and school were their everything. Through <WINGS> short films, though still scared, they had started to come into the arms of the evil, the adult world they must step into. Breaking out of the solid world, experiencing and awaking to the evil, this is what one has to go through to become a man.

“In the scene where I had to shed tears, I cried for real. First of all, if they play songs at the set it’ll create a mood. I’m quite sensitive to images or sounds so I was able to cry easily when filming.” - Jungkook

“It’s hard to explain what images I thought of. I just listened to my solo song “Lie” and left it to my body. It would be more difficult to portray it if I think too much.” - Jimin

“It was an extension of my character in ‘Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa’ so I didn’t have any difficulty portraying it. Besides I was with a cute obedient puppy so I had a great time filming.” - V

“The scene where I threw the rock and broke the window was hard to be re-shoot. I entered the set with tension after practicing several times, and luckily I nailed it in one go.” - Suga

“The telephone booth was set to not open but it strangely did and fell so I almost destroyed it. I wasn’t supposed to rip apart the chains as well but I did. It was left with a lot of regrets but I think I did my best.” - Rap Monster

“Since I was young, I was already familiar with a form of musical performance called ‘Dance-cal’. So I had no pressure about filming the short film alone, I focused and acted for the video to come out in the best quality.” - J-hope

“I talked with the director on the set and adjusted the character. I was in a position where I was the only one left and watching over the others, so I tried to portray the sadness and loneliness.” - Jin

3. COMEBACK TRAILER

In 2013, Rap Monster's voice filled the debut trailer signaling the start of 'school trilogy'. In 2015, the star of <Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa PT.2> trailer was Suga, who shouted fiercely "whatever thorny path it is, run" like in <Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa PT.1>. And in 2016, there was no doubt that J-hope will be the guide, the gatekeeper to the world of <WINGS>. Producer Bang Shihyuk said, "j-hope is an unique member in the group. He's the best at dancing and able to pull off rapping as well. I think if he can express his self-composed song through dancing well, he couldn't be cooler beyond that." True to his words, J-hope has prepared with his blood, sweat and tears for one year, and played an excellent role of being the portal to the new path of BTS. Through a choreographer designated by himself, he perfected the performance fusing old school style and krump with a hint of modern dance. The trailer of <WINGS>, "Boy Meets Evil", is the invitation ticket sent from BTS. J-hope is the guide to the new world. Between the short films and music video, the trailer served as the guide to enter the world of <WINGS> solely through dance without any further explanation. In less than 3 minutes, J-hope accomplished it with his performance. He was in pain, but he danced like he couldn't stop. In the midst of the void with nothing but dust, J-hope dances as the crimson smoke rises and the floor cracks as if foreshadowing the entry to a strange new world. He sways between the glamorous world of temptation scattered with colorful paints and his ego. As if he can't control his desire, as if he's calling for redemption, his movement turns the void into a place overlaid with colors and put on a sensual vibe. Like the saying in <Demian>, "The evil held me in his clutches, the enemy was behind me", J-hope portrayed the anxiety of the youth through a thrilling dynamic performance. Just like the lyrics written by J-hope, "Too Bad It's Too Sweet." this trailer is another test of the temptation, in which viewers can't keep their eyes until the end. As J-hope said, "This love is another name for the evil" ("Boy Meets Evil"), you can't help but be drawn into <WINGS> as if being possessed.

“This trailer was the chance that won’t come to me a second time. If I mess this up because I don’t practice enough, I would regret for the rest of my life, so I bit the bullet. I hate living with regrets.” - J-hope

“When I first received the theme ‘Boy Meets Evil’, I thought of my past and was extremely immersed in it. That’s why I could write the song with a sincere attitude and danced as well.” - J-hope

4. PHOTOGRAPHY

From 'school trilogy' to 'Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa' series, BTS' concept photos always conveyed their stories and characters visually. With 'school trilogy', they dressed up in rumpled uniform look, while in 'Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa' series, they appeared in Mod style outfits, which were popular in England during the 60s. It explained the image and growth of BTS - the rebellious boys, the wandering youth - through a visual aspect. But the process of visualizing the theme of <WINGS>, of becoming adults and dealing with temptation on the way, can be a little more complicated. Like Producer Bang Shihyuk said, as the direction of <WINGS> was inspired by <Demian>, the topic of consensus between good and evil, temptation and ego, is an abstract conception. Excluding explanation and expressing clearly what the new concept means to say in a few photos without straying too far away from the stories BTS has told so far is undoubtedly difficult. Hence, <WINGS> concept photos were more abstract than before. Jimin looks at the camera with apples scattered around, Jungkook lies down on heaps of feathers, Rap Monster sits in front of layers of mirrors. The mirrors cast Rap Monster's reflection in many directions. This intensifies the abstract and multivalent images shown in the short films. In the short films, Jimin bit the apple with an ambiguous expression, a pair of wings formed from feathers soared from Jungkook's shoulders. and like the title "reflection", Rap Monster was perplexed by his reflection in the mirrors. Starting from the <Demian> hint, the story of <WINGS> was slowly unraveled from individual short films, the trailer to concept photos for that reason. The detailed motive of <WINGS> was embedded in the short films, and each individual symbol, imprinted on the viewers' minds through the short films, was once again fused into the concept photos. To make this storytelling possible, the details of the sets were invested in 5 times more than normal photoshoot sets. The process of visualizing 'temptation' and adding in erotic elements was especially needed in order to portray an abstract world like <WINGS>. The face expressions and poses of BTS members looked weary but mysterious at the same time, while their outfits used glam look, the recent trending pajama look and bare look with partial exposure to maximize the sexy and glamorous image. Able to add the eroticism without going too explicitly, bare look and glam look were the most suitable option to represent the concept of <WINGS>. "Man muss noch Chaos in sich haben, um einen tanzenden Stern gebären zu können." This phrase was written in V's concept photos. It means "you must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star", a quote from <Thus Spoke Zarathustra> by Friedrich Nietzsche. What the props, the outfits and even the quote never forget to speak up for a moment, is the concept of <WINGS> itself.

5. BLOOD, SWEAT & TEARS

BTS tends to be recognized as a boyband with a global fandom rather than a K-pop band. The first testing of this was "Fire", an electro trap song. The experiment Producer Bang Shihyuk did with "Fire" proved to be a success. True to its title, "Fire" lighted the fans all over the world on fire, and BTS' strategy of making the winning move with the kind of music that is currently trending in the world, not just in Korea only, wasn't wrong. Korean idol groups' music has started to create a sensation in the West as well. The game's rules have changed. With "Blood, Sweat & Tears", they took another step forward. It doesn't follow the grammar and the genre of idols' pop songs where being catchy and easy to sing along is typical. Using moombahton - a globally rising genre - as the base, the melody started with "Blood, Sweat & Tears" from the beginning intuitively suggests the theme of temptation and lets the dark and subverse energy seep through. This formation that presents a foreign vibe from the start leading to the climax was new but astonishing at the same time. Foreign, and sensual. "Blood, Sweat & Tears" music video was foreign and obscure to viewers than ever and full of abstract images for that reason. From 6 months before the release, Producer Bang Shihyuk and music video director Lumpens had researched about mise-en-scène, and had come to a decision to distribute the information so it wouldn't stay fixed in "Blood, Sweat & Tears", unlike the dramatized music videos with stories in 'Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa' stories. Through the change of verticle or horizontal composition, each scene was born as a different painting, and the music video becomes a kind of gallery with multiple objets d'art. Meanwhile, the choreography acts as another splendid mise-en-scène. With Suga covering Jimin's eyes as the first movement of the performance, the music video for "Blood, Sweat & Tears" officially started. In addition, "Blood, Sweat & Tears" contains the story and symbols based on <Demian>. The <WINGS> album - including "Blood, Sweat & Tears" - conceptualized the growth of BTS before moving onto the next phase with the help from classics and mythology. The story of having to go through agony in order to grow up, rather than describing the specific situation, created the vibe they want to show and explained the conception of temptation, decadence and growth. While Jin was gazing at "The Fall of the Rebel Angels", playing in the background was a music piece by Bach, seeking forgiveness from God, but the BTS of "Blood, Sweat & Tears" said there's no such thing as God, that our fate has been decided like this since long ago. From the youth portrayed by the green candy, green smoke, monotonous colors, they went out into a more complicated, more glamorous and chaotic world. Like how Rap Monster gave the melted candle wax to Jungkook, like how Suga took Jimin's hands and led him somewhere outside, the ones who have grown up first in the 'Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa' series urged the kids who haven't awaken from the dream to wake up. Like that, the story of BTS and <WINGS> was completed.

SCENE BY SCENE

Scene 1: Jin is looking at ‘The Fall of the Rebel Angels’ by Pieter Bruegel. Although the painting depicts the angels who rebelled against God being forced down to Hell, in the music video, it was used with the meaning that for a person to realize about themselves and grow up, they must stand against God.

Scene 2: Behind the members is ‘The Lament for Icarus’ by Herbert James Draper. In the myth of Icarus, he fell while flying close to the sun when his wings made from bees wax melted. It holds the meaning that he rejected the fate given by God and chose to follow his own path.

Scene 3: The scene of Suga covering Jimin’s eyes resembles the last scene of <Demian>. Demian tells Sinclair who has his eyes closed “I’m giving you a kiss from Frau Eva”, which means he will soon merge with his ego.

Scene 4: The alcohol Rap Monster is drinking is Absinthe, a favorite drink of Romanticism artists like Vincent van Gogh and Romanticism writer Arthurt Rimbaud. It was used to symbolize the will of humans to fight against God and fate.

Scene 5: There are two contrast conceptions called ‘Monotonous’ and ‘Colored’. Here, ‘Colored’ doesn’t only mean having colors, but also being glamorous and diverse. From the monotonous world of youth, BTS learned about the various situations of the colored real world.

Scene 6: The water under J-hope’s chair is melted chocolate. In <Demian>, when Sinclair was suffering because of his lies, his mother gave him a piece of chocolate. Michelangelo, Pietà, 1498-1499, St. Peter’s Basilica (Vatican City)

Scene 7: The scene of Rap Monster feeding candle wax to Jungkook appears in <Demian> too. It’s an analogy to when Demian received a drawing of bird from Sinclair, and also means to urge him to awake to the fact that he can’t be young forever.

Scene 8: J-hope shooting an arrow towards V is not that he’s killing V, he’s helping him to realize himself. It means the death of youth and growth, this shows in the photo of V with paint splatters after getting shot with the arrow.

Scene 9: The background image is ‘Landscape with the Fall of Icarus’ by Pieter Bruegel. Amid the peaceful scenery, Icarus fell down to where the eyes can’t reach. This work portrays the intrinsic agony of humans. V jumping down symbolizes the death of youth and entry to the next phase.

Scene 10: The song Suga is playing is ‘Passacaglia’. In <Demian>, if youth is symbolized by ‘Matthäus-Passion’, then after realizing the evil, it’s changed into ‘Passacaglia’. In the music video, the drama is changed after playing this music piece.

7. THE WINGS TOUR IN SEOUL

"The boy moves forward." At the ending of the concert at Gocheok Sky Dome, Mokdong, Seoul, the concert that wrapped up the promotion of <WINGS> and <WINGS: YOU NEVER WALK ALONE> as well as began <BTS Live Trilogy Episode III: THE WINGS TOUR>, on the big screen covering the entire stage, were videos and text showing the past of BTS. Starting with "How many roads must a boy walk before he can become a man," to "A boy with seven hearts" and "What is the boy looking for with closed eyes," it ended with "The boy moves forward." The journey of seven boys who walk on the path that not even they themselves can know, and move forward. From 'school trilogy' to 'Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa' and <WINGS>, BTS built their own story inside their albums. The boys who worried about their dreams at school, who experienced their first love at school, met the temptation awaiting them on the path of adulthood in <WINGS>. BTS in reality moved forward as well. The group that held their debut showcase at a small venue now sold out a 2-day dome concert in just 4 years. They also improved musically, with each of the members making a solo song in <WINGS>, and got their name on the main charts of Billboard and iTunes. Whether in the story of 'Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa' or in reality, BTS faced many difficulties and worries, yet they became one and came this far. The huge venue, the fans who filled up that venue. And the seven boys who show the path they walked on. This concert wasn't just a mere concert, it was also the first stop on that path of theirs. The VCRs organized the stories BTS included in previous albums and unfolded the stories between 'Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa' series and <WINGS>, completing the stories of BTS in the albums as a whole. Meanwhile on stage, BTS' songs which each carry an individual concept were merged and separated. Their title songs from "No More Dream" to "Run" were connected into one performance, on the other hand, the solo songs of each member in <WINGS> took an important place as the center of the concert. Each of the individual performances were carried out in different methods depending on what they want to deliver, like J-hope's "MAMA" which turns into a large-scale performance towards the latter half of the song, or Suga's "First Love" that was like his own monologue. On top of that, the VCRs also portrayed each member with symbolic images. This concert didn't just merely show the well-loved songs by BTS on stage, it was the annotation and the finish of the stories in the previous 9 albums of BTS. If <WINGS: YOU NEVER WALK ALONE> is the story taking place somewhere between 'Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa’ and <WINGS> which wasn't revealed in <WINGS>, the concert VCRs offer a deeper look into the story of the members in <WINGS>. <WINGS> didn't expand the world of BTS through just the story only. The theme of <WINGS> - the growth of the boys who met the evil - was portrayed not only through the songs and music video, but also the individual short films and performances with every single movement carries a meaning. <BTS Live Trilogy Episode III: THE WINGS TOUR> also showed the story of <WINGS> on a large-scale stage. The world of BTS is no longer just depicted through music videos or images only, it's now depicted through a big concert stage. The advance of the boys has become the expansion of their world. Starting the concert was "Not Today" from <WINGS: YOU NEVER WALK ALONE>, and the ending act was the title song "Spring Day" of the same album. In "Not Today" music video, they remained unmoved despite being shot. We're bulletproof. It's what BTS is. The idols who show powerful performances. The group that called themselves "bulletproof" in their debut album has now become a group that sings about consolation and hope in spring days after 9 albums. A group that says "I miss you" to those they can't meet and hopes for the spring day to come someday. As much as the songs have changed, BTS changed and grew up too. The idol group that sang "No More Dream" went through "I NEED YOU" and "Blood, Sweat & Tears" and reached "Spring Day". But as they grow, BTS still maintains the 'bulletproof' side of them like in "Not Today". They have come a long way from "No More Dream", but they still remain idols and boys. Starting with "Not Today" and ending with "Spring Day", the concert showed the changing history of BTS as well as their unchanged identity. Compared to debut days, the scale of the venues has grown unbelievably large. They now perform in not only Korea but also Asia and the West. Despite that, they are still the BTS that block out bullets for someone else. Their rehearsals now take several days like the real concert, but they still work themselves into a sweat just like the time at the small venue. The concert venue filled with so many fans. The proof to what BTS has done so far is that they can tell those who couldn't be with them, tell their peers that "I miss you". Like the phrases in the concert, they 'shut the sky of youth away in broken drawers', 'search for a sea nowhere to be seen', 'in a world of swaying temptation', 'always alone in the moment of decision', but still, they moved forward ceaselessly. Like the man in the myth that wished to fly eternally, the journey of BTS is going out looking for a bigger world, bigger ideals and at the same time, sharing the worries with the youth of their generation, finding the answer and realizing about themselves. And after so many stories, <BTS Live Trilogy Episode III: THE WINGS TOUR> announced the end and the beginning of the story. The boy moved forward. And he shall continue to move forward, along the path called the never-ending question of the youth.

⬖⬖⬖

How many roads must a boy walk before he can become a man? School and home, alleys and the sea Shutting the sky of youth away in broken drawers At the dead end of the road is the entrance to the maze. Smeared blood on the palm, like a stigma. This pain riding up shoulder blades Is the dream of soaring wings. In search of a sea nowhere to be seen The boy walks. The boy with seven hearts. Seven beats and one move forward Upturned view and one is seven. To run is to fall without doubt. And to turn away is to meet the cliff. In a world of swaying temptation What is the boy looking for with closed eyes? Open the curtains and smash the mirror There will lie a road in the fragments. Outside is inside, inside is outside. An entangled world. The crossroad of everything. The two worlds, back to back, Relentlessly merge into one. Now the boy is seven on that road. Seven but one. Seven boys with one heart. One boy with seven hearts. One and seven, the reflection of each other. How many roads must a boy walk before he can become a man? Roads are another name for the world. Day and night, crossroads and tunnels. The roads take endless forks And always alone in the moment of decision. In meeting and separation, there is nothing new. If he turns around that corner, can he meet a day of his crimson youth? (If he turns around that corner, will the crimson flowers of youth still be in full bloom?) Where is this dream leading to? Fear is another name for hope. Tears are another name for smile. The boy smiles. He can smile because they are together. The boy moves forward. The boy grows up.

#bts #bangtan #ot7 #concept book #cncptbook #fucking finally. i finally did it. #this whole freaking book was 15k words #i can't believe i fucking translated 15k words

[thesoftkitty42]

I’m posting original content???

Hey there friends. So, I never actually post anything on my blog, but I wrote this for my Creative Writing class and I thought that people might like it, so I’m gonna share it with y’alls. Basically we had to write a How-To article, so I wrote one about How to be Emo. It’s really long and really stupid but it’s still kind of entertaining. Here it is lol

How to Become a MySpace Ready Emo God/Goddess Overnight in 5 Easy Steps: Welcoming yourself to the Black Parade

By Grace Burns  Feb. 7, 2018

You know that feeling when you log on to the oh-so-popular website, MySpace.com and you see a super cool, badass, edgy emo queen on your feed, and then you look at your sad, boring, “normal” profile and it just looks lame in comparison? And then you start to think of how cool you would look if you attempted to take sick pictures at that same awesome angle, but when you try you just look like dumbass? Well, I’m here to teach you exactly what steps you can take to become the saddest, baddest, raddest emo of your nightmares.

1 Wardrobe is Everything

Alright, first things first. You can’t have that MySpace fame unless you look the part. You need to start off this journey with a trip to every emo’s favorite place on Earth (other than Warped Tour) Hot Topic. Hot Topic is a safe haven for our kind, housing all the band merch and aesthetically pleasing accessories that you could only dream up in your head. As you walk into the shop, notice the music they’re blasting through the speakers? If you recognize the song, dance along to the music in the store. This is an easy way to make a friend if you both happen to be rocking out to the same artist. Your first stop should be the jeans section. They’re all black skinny jeans, so you better get used to having all your leg fat squeezed into your body. But, you do have the option of whether or not you want jeans with or without rips in them. This will all depend on the aesthetic you are trying to achieve. For someone who is just transitioning to the emo lifestyle, I would suggest starting slow and steady and picking out some plain black skinny jeans without any rips in them. After you grab your bottoms, it’s time to consider the tops. Hot Topic has a cornucopia of band shirts at their disposal, so you have a lot to choose from. Again, I’d suggest starting off easy by picking a shirt from a more popular emo band, preferably something from the holy emo trinity, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, and Panic! At the Disco, and then as you continue your transition you can start branching off into other bands. The last essential part of your wardrobe is the accessories. Chokers, studded belts, and lots of piercings are all good choices. And you can always get fake piercings to try things out before you commit to piercing lots of holes in your body. The last part of your clothing look is shoes. There are a few different options here. You could go with Vans or Converse, but many debate over which shoe encompasses the emo look more effectively, so to be safe I would go with a classic pair of combat boots. You can never go wrong with combat boots.

2 Hair and Makeup

The next step in becoming the emo nightmare you’ve been dreaming up is the hair and makeup. This goes hand in hand with your clothing and helps complete the whole look. The first thing to change is your hair. If you have soft, wavy, shiny hair, that is the first to go. Your hair needs to look like it’s been beat to shit, much like you have been beaten by your emotions over the years. Do you have bangs? No? Get bangs, they help block out the haters. Is your hair black? If not, you should probably dye it. And of course you need to buy a hair straightener so you can destroy your hair even further. If you aren’t experiencing long-term hair damage, you aren’t doing it right. Now, onto the makeup. Firstly, foundation. You need to make your skin look as dead inside as you feel. Buy a foundation a shade or so lighter than you normally would, and apply to the face and set with a powder. While your pale complexion is essential, your most important tool is and always will be your eyeliner. Eyeliner is what blinds you from the world’s sorrows. It is what gets you into character. Eyeliner is the single most important part of your emo look. Here’s how to apply it:  

Grab a pencil or gel eyeliner from your local makeup store (you could even grab eyeliner from Hot Topic)

Apply along upper and lower lash line, making the lines fairly thick.

Smudge eyeliner to perfection

If you need extra tips or inspiration, look at pictures of pre-hiatus Pete Wentz, as he is the unofficial king of emo.

You could just leave your eye makeup as is, or you could take it one step further by adding eyeshadow. You could go for a dark black that matches your soul, or you could do a classic emo eyeshadow color, red. Emo God Frank Iero was famous for his red eyeshadow during My Chem’s “Revenge Era”. This era should be the inspiration for a great deal of your aesthetic. To apply the eyeshadow, all you need to do is take a fluffy eye brush, dip it in the shadow, and sweep/swirl the makeup all over your lid, almost touching the brow bone, and don’t forget to put some of the eyeshadow along your lower lash line as well. After your eye makeup is complete, add mascara to the lashes to finish it off. Lastly is deciding if you want to wear lipstick or not. Many emos choose not to wear lipstick and tend to leave the lips plain, but times are changing, and of you feel like adorning a color on your lips would complete your look, go for it! A big part of the emo mentality is expressing yourself and being who you are free of judgement. You could easily sport a sexy red or black lipstick, or if you dye your hair a fun teal color, you could pick up a matching lipstick from your local Hot Topic.

3 Music

The single most important part of becoming an emo is listening to the right music. The bands that you choose to listen to will be like a safety net. They will comfort you in times of need. The most important bands to listen to are, of course, the three bands that make up the holy emo trinity of music. Chances are you have probably heard the chart topping music created by My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, and Panic! At the Disco on the radio over the years. Fans of these bands, myself included, have claimed that these artists have saved their lives with their music and their words. You must listen to all of their music like it is your religion, and slowly it will become your religion. You must obsess over these bands and their members. Gerard Way is your inspiration and reason that you are not afraid to keep on living, Patrick Stump is the small adorable man with the kindest words that make you feel better on a bad day, Brendon Urie is a talented man with lots of advice on how to deal with your problems. But, the most important thing to remember as you slowly slip into the bandom culture is that every band member is just as important as the others. Fall Out Boy is much more than Pete and Patrick, Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley are just as amazing as their fellow members. The same goes for My Chem, while Gerard and Frank are fantastic people, don’t discredit the utter beauty of Mikey and Ray because they are just as worthy of your praise. When it comes to Panic! At the Disco, even though Brendon rapidly lost all of his members and can’t seem to make anyone stay in the band anymore, don’t forget about those who have fallen from Panic!. Ryan Ross is still an inspiration, and without him we would never have gotten the sheer beauty that is Pretty. Odd. which is debatably the best album Panic! has ever produced. You will listen to this music to the point that you know every last lyric, guitar riff, and drum beat. You will constantly thank God for Esteban and reference every single song on a daily basis. The majority of the things you say are emo references that no one else understands. You will be sad when you stumble upon a phenomenal emo meme on the internet and have no one to share it with. But that’s okay, because you can always cheer yourself up by watching old band interviews and by re-watching the same music videos that you’ve seen countless times before. You will count down the release of new albums, and you will cry when bands decide to call it quits. It will be a rollercoaster of emotions that will slowly consume your life.

4 Attitude

Your attitude is important. If you’re going to try and live that emo lifestyle you crave, you need to have the right attitude. Long gone are your days of cheerful comments and a sunny-disposition. The way you present yourself is a major part of living that dark, gloomy emo life. If you go about talking about pop music, or things that the general public find enjoyable, you will never be able to pull off being emo. You need to walk about as if you are dying inside, and present yourself as a self deprecating, pessimistic,  depressing person that brings the mood down in social situations. If you are the token emo in your friend group, you have to try and convert your friends into the lifestyle. Start by getting them into newer Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy songs which are more pop punk than they are traditional emo, especially compared with their earlier works. Once you butter them up with the more modern and radio playable songs, slowly start introducing them to older songs and see if they like it. If they do, you’ve got em. It’s only a short time before they too are emo with you. Along with converting your friends, you just need to talk about emo things nonstop to the point where your friends either need to convert, or they are constantly annoyed by your antics. If you go a whole day without mentioning the new Fall Out Boy album, are you really a fan? If you don’t own merch from every era of My Chemical Romance, can you even call yourself emo? You need to make sure that you have the right mentality, or you will never be able to be a true emo. Another important thing is making sure you have the right tools to protect yourself from harm. Haters are everywhere, and you can fend them off by just blowing them off, or you could spit a bunch of facts about why the emo culture is very important to you and many others.

5 Actually Becoming Emo

Last but not least, an essential step is actually becoming emo. While you might start off doing this ironically, or just to try something new, you will become trapped in the culture. By researching the bands and listening them to fit in, you will actually begin to become obsessed with them and you will really believe that they are the most wonderful people that God has ever created. The emos will trap you, there is no escaping once you start. Eventually you might buy some clothes will color in them, or some jeans that are a little baggier, and you might lighten up on the eyeliner, but anytime you hear that ear-piercing g note that opens up the song Welcome to the Black Parade, you won’t be able to control yourself and you will probably start getting emotional remembering the good old days. You might open up your closet and see that Hot Topic sweater with the safety pins in the sleeves hidden away behind your favorite top, and all you’ll be able to do is laugh at your old style, but you’ll still secretly love it. And years down the road you’ll drop your kids off at school and turn on the classic rock station. You recognize the song that’s playing, but you can’t quite place what it is, and then you hear the lyrics “Am I more than you bargained for yet?” and you will be taken back to your emo days and you’ll drive home and pull out you old albums and put them on, remembering how this music and lifestyle made you feel. You will always be just a little emo on the inside.

#emo #fall out boy #my chemical romance #panic! at the disco #pete wentz #patrick stump #andy hurley #joe trohman #gerard way #frank iero #mikey way #ray toro #brendon urie #ryan ross

[lalka-laski]

Have you ever had a really bad haircut? Yeah, like the time I got a lob expecting I’d look like Jennifer Lawrence but I actually looked like fucking Lord Farquaad.  Did you ever order any clothes from the Alloy catalogue? We got those catalogues sent to our house all through my childhood! I loved leafing through them but we could never actually afford those clothes.  What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I hardly wear eyeliner but I have a few pencils in my makeup collection of various brands.  Do you wear eyeliner? See above

Was there ever a time in your life when you couldn’t cry? HA, safe to say that has NEVER been a problem for me. 

What’s your favorite type of yogurt? The texture of yogurt skeeves me out. Sometimes I like PLAIN greek yogurt with a little granola on top, but that’s rare.  What posters did you have on your wall as a teenager? I went through a few phases. The earliest poster I remember was a shirtless JC Chasez (from Nsync) posed underneath a waterfall. Not the most appropriate choice for a 7 year old? I also remember once being so excited to win a Spice Girls poster at a fair. I brought it home and a few days later I walked into the living room to find my sister on the floor with a pair of scissors just cutting it into strips. TRAGIC!  What are your favorite type of calendars? I don’t use calendars anymore but growing up I had them of various celebrities and characters I liked. Lots of Disney Princess ones, of course.  Do you have a full-length mirror? The doors to my coat closet are both full-length mirrors  When was the last time you bought stamps? I don’t think I ever have Do you have any overdue library books right now? No, although that’s one of my recurring dreams. (Or are they nightmares?!!)  How often do you do laundry? Usually once a week Do you have a piggy bank? Nope  Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? Funnily enough, that’s another one of my recurring dreams. I’m standing at my locker and completely blank on my combination and then I panic.  What’s your favorite DIY crafts youtube channel? I’ve watched a few here and there but I don’t have a specific channel  Could you spend hours on pinterest? Nah, pinterest annoys me  Do you own plaid pants? Nope Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? No, but I always secretly wished I did. I was so stressed about fitting in and wearing “cool clothes” and a uniform would’ve eliminated that problem for me.  What was your high school’s mascot? Titans What were your high school’s team colors? Blue & gold? I think?

Who were your best friends in high school? I had a few, all of whom are still really good friends of mine to this day

Who was your first boyfriend or girlfriend? His name was J.R. Which is funny because Glenn is also a junior and went by “J.R” occasionally growing up.  Have you ever been to Chicago? Nope but I’d love to. Polski Pride! If yes, what do you like best about it? Have you ever stayed in a hostel? Nope Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Hm, that’s tough. I’d really prefer to just sleep on a regular bed if anything.  Do you love camping? I do somewhat. I’m not exactly outdoors-y or adventurous but I have an appreciation for nature.  Would you rather sleep in a tent or under the stars? I’d only sleep anywhere that had zero chance of critters getting to me What insects are you afraid of? Ladybugs gross me out to NO end. I don’t mind many bugs, but ladybugs can fuck all the way off.  Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? Mmm nope. Are you close with your cousins? My cousin Rachel is one of my best friends! Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Kind of. I honestly which I was closer to most of my extended family members. There’s so much weird hostility between everyone and I wish it wasn’t so. Are you close to your grandparents? I have very little memories of my paternal grandfather, although we apparently had a special bond. I was very close buddies with my paternal grandma though, right up until she died. And as for my maternal grandparents, we have a great relationship although I do wish we could be closer. Sometimes. 

Who betrayed your trust? Blah... Who was your first best friend (apart from a sibling)? Sean What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? I loved ghost stories and all those stereotypical sleepover games like Truth or Dare. Oh, and my friends and I loved doing makeovers! What kind of popcorn is your favorite? SUPER buttery. Popcorn’s one of my favorite snacks and we eat it almost every night Does your town have a big fountain in it? Uhhh not that I know of  What is your town known for? My city has a super high crime and poverty rate so WOOHOO for that. But we also have some really cool history and a fun art/music scene.  Do you currently live in the city you grew up in? Mhm  What’s one way in which you’re behind the times? I don’t understand a lot of modern slang and I avoid using it at risk of sounding like a try-hard.  What’s one way in which you’re still a child? I’m obsessed with Disney princesses, I sleep with a teddy bear, and I’d eat Kraft Mac & Cheese for dinner every night if I could. What’s one way in which you’re old? Well being behind on modern slang as I mentioned above is one thing. I also can hardly stay up past midnight anymore.  Do you feel old or young? Or do you feel both at different times? I certainly don’t feel old enough to be 28, that’s for sure How old are you? ^^ Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? No clue yet. For one thing, it’s too far away to think about and secondly, who the hell knows what state the world will be in by that time? If yes, what is it? What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? Glenn & I started watching this make-up competition show that is fascinating. The talent is mind-blowing! What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? If my work could shut down & I could quarantine for months again while still getting unemployment bonuses I’d be a happy camper Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I’m all too forgiving. And I’m not clever enough to plot revenge Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? English If so, what? ^^  Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? Neither  What time of day were you born? 5:45 PM What is the best hairstyle you’ve ever had? This is currently the healthiest my hair has ever been. And I really do love the shade of it.  Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? I haven’t seen my natural hair in ages. It’s a darker, more brassy shade of the blonde I have now. I definitely like my chosen color better.  Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Wavy  Do you have bangs? Nope. although I did for all of my childhood Do you think you look better with bangs or without? Without. I mean, I think I was a cute looking little kid but my mom definitely kept me in bangs wayyyy longer than I should’ve been. Do you think you look better with long hair or short? LONG, for sure.  What’s your favorite rock band? The Killers Who’s your favorite country singer? I don’t care for it Do you ever listen to Celtic music? Mhm. I mean not regularly but I like instrumentals for studying/relaxing.  Do you listen to Hillsong? Nope  Did you try the unicorn frappuccino, and if yes, were you a fan? Nope and I am so thankful that I no longer worked at Starbucks when that was a thing Have you ever won a contest? None that I recall  Have you ever wanted to be a model, actress, singer, or dancer? I always thought I’d make a decent actress, but anxiety got in the way of me ever venturing into that territory. And I do wish I could sing.  When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? Yep  Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Actually, my current (dyed) hair color is pretty much the same shade I had as a toddler.  Do you wear matching socks? When I have to wear socks, yes.  How many drawers does your dresser have? Umm... four small ones and I think six large ones? Do you own an American flag shirt? Nope Do you own a British flag shirt? Nope Do you have a seashell collection? I did at one point but I have no idea what happened to it Do you have a rock collection? Actually I have a small collection of rocks I gathered a few months ago with the intentions of painting them and hiding them for others to find. (Spoiler: I did no such thing).  Do you decorate for Halloween? Yep! Well, more for Fall in general but some of my decorations are ~spooky.  What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Anything! I love swimming and just splashing around.  Flamingos or pineapples? You mean like for a pattern or print? Either one is fun for summer.  Cacti or seashells? Both?  Maple tree or palm tree? Tough! Again, I like both.  Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? Dreamcatcher. The sound of wind chimes always kind of creeps me out for some reason. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? Yes! Do you have a crush right now? He might be a little more than a crush

What color was your first car? I don’t drive Was your first car used or new? Do you have a car now? What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? I really only wear neutrals. I’d love to learn how to do more exciting things with my makeup but I usually play it safe

[enuffula]

Antichrist Superstar

Okay, now we’re getting to the album with the explicitly controversial title. Portrait of an American Family had a creepy doll cover. Smells Like Children’s is supposed to look like some mashup between the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and the Wicked Witch of the West. They were both characters who came off as, well... you know. And there was that Wonka font for good measure. Basically, the album cover had a “kids are in danger” vibe. But neither of them were supposed to elicit personal offense at first glance. Maybe something similar to aesthetic offense. While he and the band are all about dat straight-up grotesqueness, there’s a liberal amount of subverted innocence, too.

This album doesn’t really have that. Unless you take Christianity for the innocence that’s being subverted. (I feel like I might need to have a disclaimer saying I’m a Christian for each Marilyn album I go over.) It’s redundant to say that not only is he a shock rocker, he also has a lot of strong criticisms against how Christianity is practiced (in America). At this point, I don’t know if other belief systems are ever criticized in his work.

But going to “edginess on purpose”, the title is a play on Jesus Christ Superstar. I haven’t seen it yet but from what I’ve read it is a musical that shows the very human side of Jesus. Many fundamentalists do not like JCSS. Marilyn almost certainly knew that and he wanted to show them what true blasphemy looked like.

Cycle I: The Heirophant

“Irresponsible Hate Anthem”: At first I was worried at the beginning because I don’t care for screaming masses that much. Anyway, this song. This song. “I was not born with enough middle fingers”? Honestly, flipping the bird just looks immature and cringeworthy to me like 97% of the time. That may be because there was this bully in my math class when I was eight and one time he told me to stick my middle finger up and I was like “Okay?” because I didn’t know what it meant. The teacher saw it and looked shocked but it only took her a few moments to guess I was innocent. XD Luckily, by the next year when I had homeroom with him, he was actually nice.

“The Beautiful People”: Not really sure what to write about this.

“Dried up, Tied, and Dead to the World”: “You ride but cannot be ridden/Pinch this tiny heart of mine/Wrap it up in soiled twine.” This part stands out to me, for some reason. At first I was thinking of… baseball. There’s “Daddy” by Sylvia Plath that contains the line “Bit my pretty red heart in two” which is, well, pretty for such a sad poem.

“Tourniquet”: The description “made of hair and bone and little teeth” make me think of a messily long-haired bony woman with big gums.

Cycle II: Inauguration of the Worm

“Little Horn”: *checks the wiki as I now feel the need to before listening to a new song* Wow, I thought this one zombie nightmare I had once was terrifying. It was the kind of bad dream where you wake up and lay there, waiting for your heart to stop thumping so hard. There were these undergrown zombies with horrible green skin. They were silent and they had no eyes. We were in a forest and they were standing on these flat-ish stones and as I turned to leave more were coming down a road. There was a sign that said “Based on a True Story”. What really made this terrifying was that later as I was walking my dog I came across this wild animal carcass with rotted out eyes.

“Cryptorchid”: Kept reading this as “Cryptorchild”, which sounds like some kid who spends time down in crypts just chillin’. It’s a catchy, but disturbing (of course), song with a fitting title. By “fitting title”, I mean it’s name for a medical condition that has to do with genitalia and I would expect nothing less from Marilyn.

“Deformography”: Wondered if this would be about teratophiliac porn. It might be?

“Wormboy”: Do you, Marilyn? Do you know that you are “slipping away”? Hope not because we still have two more albums to get through until “Slutgarden”.  

“Mister Superstar”: Before there was “Paparazzi”, there was...this. It’s much more raw and dirty. “Dirty” isn’t really how I like to describe sex but when you got your obsessed fan going “I want to get sick from you” and some other lines I would prefer not to type... By the way, please check out “LoveGame (Chew Fu Ghettohouse Fix)” by Lady Gaga. He’s featured in it. They’re both Interscope artists.

“Angel with the Scabbed Wings”: This is a title I like. Good imagery. Reminds me of how in Brit Lit we read this poem by William Blake called “The Sick Rose” that sounded pretty. Then the teacher told us what it was really about and it still sounds pretty but I’ll confess I was a little shocked.

“Kinderfeld”: Nope. Reading the wiki before giving a track a listen is a good idea.

Cycle III: Disintegrator Rising

“Antichrist Superstar”: It annoys me when an artist gives an album the same name as a track. “Pissing well” might make a good colloquialism for urinal if it is not already.

“1996”: A lot of anti’s there.

“Minute of Decay”: There’s a Family Guy reference I want to make here but I also don’t want people to know how much of that show I’ve watched over the years. I’ll just say it came from “Prick up Your Ears”.

“The Reflecting God”: Is there a word for someone who is no longer a virgin? I don’t mean “slut”. I mean like someone who has (at least a little) experience? There’s this weird reverence around, not virgins, but the concept of virgins.  

“Man That You Fear”: I’d rather not listen to this because, again, I read the article.

“Track 99”: Not really sure why this was included.

There are some B-sides.

“Apple of Sodom”: So there was on a soundtrack for some movie called Lost Highway. Because I have no seen that, I can’t say how fitting this song is. But today I watched Dune, which is another David Lynch movie, for the second time. I actually like it a lot. Or at least like the first hour of it. Kyle MacLachlan was bae in that.

“Long Hard Road out of Hell”: This is also the name of his memoir. It can’t be as bad as (what I’ve read of) Not That Kind of Girl so I might read it.

“The Suck for Your Solution”: This was apparently for some Howard Stern movie. I don’t know enough about the man to add judgment. I haven’t really been judging these last dozen songs but they aren’t really standing out to me.

“P Is for Porno”: A demo for “Deformography”. I do prefer the new title.

“Little Black Spots”: I don’t know what the title means but this is a demo version of “Cryptorchid”. Right now I want to point out how I like the line “The time has come for bitter things.” It is probably a reference to Disney’s 1951 version of Alice in Wonderland, which is one of my favorite movies of all time.

“Wormboy Gets His Wings”: Another demo. Shortening the title was probably a good move.

“Astonishing Panorama of the End Times”: The beginning I like, good and upbeat. Of course, it quickly becomes controversial. XD

“Suicide Snowman”: Given the subject matter, I’d prefer not to listen.

“Art of Dying”: The link on the wiki sent me to “The Reflecting God”.

“D Is for Dirty”: Not much to say here.

#Marilyn Manson #Antichrist Superstar #Irresponsible Hate Anthem #The Beautiful People #Dried Up Tied and Dead to the World #Tourniquet #Little Horn #Cryptorchid #Deformography #Wormboy #Mister Superstar #Angel with the Scabbed Wings #Kinderfeld #1996 #Minute of Decay #The Reflecting God #Man That You Fear #Track 99 #Apple of Sodom #Long Hard Road out of Hell #The Suck for Your Solution #P Is for Porno #Little Black Spots #Wormboy Gets His Wings #Astonishing Panorama of the End Times #Suicide Snowman #D Is for Dirty #enuffula