#logan shouts into the void
Text
Only You
[Kendall Roy x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: Kendall never had anyone that he could truly rely on. But now, he has you, and that's all that matters {GIF Creds: Honestly i couldn't find who made it… just know that I didn't}.
WC: 753
Category: Lime/Spice, Slight Angst
I just finished Succession tonight and my heart literally hurts so much for Kendall, so I had to write this to ease my mind.
『••✎••』
“Kenny…” You sigh into his neck, his teeth nipping at your ear.
His hands travel from your thighs to the dip of your back and up, pulling the thin fabric of your dress over your head and off, tossing it onto the floor.
He grins, kissing down your jaw to the swell of your breasts. You can feel him, hard and thick through his jeans, pressed against you, and you need him. Need to feel him inside you. Need to feel his skin against yours.
Your breath is shallow and hot.
Kendall kisses the hollow of your throat, your pulse hammering against his lips. He takes your chin in his hand and makes you look at him. You stare into his eyes, deep and brown, the color of the earth. He stares right back, and you can feel his heartbeat, fast and in time with yours.
You lean in, pressing your lips to his. He kisses you back, softly at first, but then, hungry, devouring, as if he were a starving man.
You unbutton his shirt, letting it fall to the floor, and push him down on the bed. He pulls you on top of him, and you can feel him smiling as he kisses you. His hands are warm as they caress your body, sending tingles up and down your spine.
He needed this; you knew it, just like you needed it. It was only a matter of time before he broke down before he let you back in. He needed someone to be there for him—someone who loved him unconditionally and would stand by him no matter what.
His touch was gentle and loving. The way he held you, kissed you. It was almost as if he didn't want to let you go. As if he was afraid of losing you.
Your heart ached for him. Ached for the man who was lost and alone, the man who had no one else. Nothing else.
With all the hot garbage and corruption within Waystar, Kendall could always rely on you. You were his constant. His anchor.
He would never admit it, not even to himself, but he was scared. He was scared and alone, and he needed someone.
Roman couldn’t give him that. Shiv could barely stand to look at him. His mother? Well, she wasn't the type.
And then there was you. You had been by his side, supporting him for as long as he could remember.
He didn't know when he had started to notice you, started to love you. But he had. Rava couldn't fill the void in his heart. No woman could. But you could.
You had been there for him every step of the way, no matter what. When the shit hit the fan, when his father cut him out, when his family betrayed him, you were there. You were his light in the darkness.
The night that Kendall told the world his father was at fault for the cruise ship disaster, the full turnaround he did on the presser and the aftermath had been hell. Logan had thrown a tantrum, screaming and shouting and threatening to cut him off completely.
For a little while, it seemed like he would, too.
But you had been there for him.
Kendall had broken down, sobbing, after it was all over. When the weight of it all had finally hit him, he had felt guilty and ashamed.
You had sat with him, comforting him. You hadn’t judged him. You hadn’t told him it was his fault, that he was wrong. You had simply listened.
And that had meant the world to him.
When he had finished crying, when his sobs had subsided, he had kissed you.
He hadn't planned to. But the look in your eyes, the concern, the compassion, the love, he couldn't help himself. It was a soft kiss. Tender. Loving. He had cupped your face in his hands, holding you as if you were the most precious thing in the world.
After that night, everything had changed.
You had become the only thing he could count on.
You were always there for him, no matter what.
Now, as you lay together, the sheets twisted around your bodies, your bare skin touching his, he knew.
He knew the person who would always have his back, who would never leave him, was you.
And that was why he had given you his heart.
Kendall didn't need anyone or anything else.
He only needed you.
Just you and only you.
#kendall roy#kendall roy x reader#kendall roy/reader#kendall roy x female!reader#kendall roy x you#x reader#fanfic#reader#fanfiction#succession tv#succession show#succession#roman roy#roman roy x reader#jeremy strong#jeremy strong x reader#shiv roy#shiv roy x reader#connor roy#connor roy x reader#logan roy#stewy hosseini#kendall roy x oc#succession hbo#succession fandom#succession fic#succession fanfic#headcanon#blurb#angst
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
Is that all you got? (Pt.5 Survival to the…Just survive!!)
Warnings: Slight Angst and cursing
Reader Inserts: Y/N= Your name, Y/L= Your last name, Y/CN= your code name, Y/H= your hair, Y/HC= your hair color, E/C= Eye color, H/S= Hair Style, N/N= Nickname.
Prompt: Keegan isn’t very talkative nor is he known, he’s a ghost literally.. He has his eyes on someone specific that he’s sure doesn’t notice him but what if they do? (The reader is Kick’s partner)
You and Keegan finally met up with the rest of the team who were terribly injured. You noticed Elias wasn't, hoping that this isn't what you're thinking and that maybe he was relocated and captured you decided now wouldn't be the best time to ask what had happened. Suddenly Merrick falls to the ground, his wound plaguing his body with pain. "We gotta hide now!" Keegan says, as Hesh picks up Merrick and carries him into an office room, where you, Logan, and Keegan quickly follow into. You noticed the radio that Logan has is beaming with noise that could get you all caught. "Turn the radio down," you said in a harsh whisper, Merrick then shushes everyone as the Federation soldiers near into your current position.
One of the soldiers was instructed to check the office room, your heart stopped as your mind was rushing on what to do, this was unusual for you. As your mind was racing Keegan lunges out of the shadows, silently taking the soldier down before he could do any callouts to his team. As the enemy leaves without checking for their missing teammate, you all leave towards a mall looking area (tbh I haven’t really paid attention to where we were located in this scene..)
“Attention everyone.” A sudden voice appears on the intercom, it was Rorke. “Some friends of mine have gone missing, Return them to me dead or alive, and you will have done your country a great service,” he says, as you look around for the intercoms, “Merrick, Hesh, Logan, if you’re listening… good luck” Just then you had set your DDOS system in the perfect spot, knocking down the camera feed and the intercom’s reach. Merrick scoffs at the last comment Rorke had made “Thanks for the shout out asshole” He says as you jog up to him and give him a hand. “Thanks Y/CN,” He whispers, you flash a small smile before your feelings get all swelled up, what if they don’t make it…?
You turned to get back into position when you saw the masked man looking at you, “… what?” you questioned the man with the void-like eyes that seemed to be burning holes into your skin. “ ‘hErE you gO, ThAnkssss I oweee yA” Keegan surprisingly mocked, your mouth shot wide open when you heard this idiot. “We are literally in the MIDDLE OF BATTLE?!” You shouted. (I’m so convinced that Keegan is actually really childish when he’s jealous… like cmon it’s so cannon)
Keegan then shrugged as if nothing had happened and went back to work, you decided to do the same. Still kind of checked out by his actions your shooting became a little sloppy. Logan decided to push the enemies from the right side while you covered the middle, Keegan went for the left side. Not too long after the enemies were dead, everyone started to head toward the outside. Keegan wasn't too far behind you, is what you thought, you turned to check on far he was when he suddenly got stabbed in the arm. Your eyes widened as you bolted toward him and the enemy that managed to play dead and get away with it. Keegan fell to the ground as the enemy raised his knife up to do a final blow, you tackled the enemy and immediately threw punches, something inside of you didn't let you stop after the first punches, soon blood was all over your hands and he was no longer moving. As soon as you snapped out of it you rushed toward Keegan, he had already bandaged his wound. He was stabbed in the arm… so he just fell over because he was knocked over, a literal wave of relief and embarrassment hit you. “How did you even let yourself get knocked over like that? That was just sad.” You said, fixing his loose bandaging. “You’re really gonna say this right now like I didn’t just get stabbed…?” He questioned looking at you as you rolled your eyes.
#call of duty ghosts#keegan p russ#keegan x reader#call of duty#keegan russ#keegan russ x reader#kick call of duty ghosts#keegan russ smut
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
False Dawn: One
For his entire life, Janus Ekans had done whatever he could to prove himself and rise in the ranks of his father’s court, but it was all worthless in the end. Now, the only path to survival is to rely on his father’s killer, Duke Logan Ackroyd, even if it means discarding his pride and blood ties. It might not be freedom, but at least it won't be his head rolling on the floor next.
~~~~
False Dawn:
Idiom: A situation that looks like it is beginning to improve when, in reality, it is not.
Read on Ao3 - All Chapters - Masterlists
One
Janus had learned at an early age how to keep his face even despite what was happening around him. It didn’t matter whether he was excited, upset, or scared. An Ekans faced those emotions every day, and if he ever wanted even the slimmest of chances of being accepted as a legitimate child- controlling his facial expressions was a requirement. So his mother had drilled poise and etiquette into him the hard way, yet here and now, every word she had ever spoken seemed meaningless. Here and now, it didn’t matter that he had learned to dance; it didn’t matter that he could hold his own when talking to the nobility; his swordsmanship and equestrian lessons were also null and void. Because here and now, it didn’t matter that his face didn't change as he watched what was going on around him because everything he had done was to impress his father- to impress the king—the king, who was currently shy of a head.
The screams that echoed throughout the ballroom were on deaf ears as Janus’ eyes were trained on his father’s killer. The man was calm as he wiped the blood from his blade as if he was doing its daily maintenance as opposed to just having beheaded a monarch. And silently- wrongly - Janus couldn’t help but wonder why he bothered to do so when it was clear the rest of the royal family was next to die. Or was this man too important to dirty his blade with Janus’ impure blood? The knight stopped his actions and dropped to a knee as the Head of the Empire stepped towards him. Janus had thought so when he had seen the Emperor before at the start of the ball- but here and now, the ruler seemed even more like a child. He was likely just barely sixteen, his brown eyes slightly sunken in and partially hidden behind his hair, which was just long enough to fall into his eyes. He was shorter in stature, and truthfully, it looked like a strong breeze would be enough to knock him over. Even so, no one could be The Emperor of Angoro without having a nearly impossible amount of mana.
“Do as you see fit with the rest,” The Emperor told the knight.
The knight hadn’t dared to raise his head, “Yes, Your Maj-”
“Why!?” Janus heard one of his older sisters- the Second Princess- shout. “What did we do to you?”
The Emperor blinked at her once as if he couldn’t tell if she was stupid or not, and quite frankly, Janus wished she wasn’t as stupid as well… she usually was. The Emperor’s eyes shined with a slight tint of purple before he appeared to decide she wasn’t worth a drop of his mana. “I need to get back,” he told his knight instead. As he began to walk away, some of his troops fell in step behind him.
“Why? Why? Why!?” his sister shouted again and again. No one stopped her, not even the enemy knight who stood before her. No one did a thing until the Emperor had left the room. Then, the knight in charge stood, fixated his eyes on her, and moved closer, causing her to falter before the Queen put a hand over her mouth.
The knight adjusted his glasses as his eyes looked over them all, and then he spoke, “None of you want to answer her question?”
Janus wasn’t aware the tension could get any higher, but then the man brandished his sword.
“I see no point in answering. If she weren’t such a narcissist, she would have paid attention to the world around her,” Janus said with his mask of calm as he tried not to focus on the thought of that sword running him through. But he needed to try because something in him- perhaps all his experience in reading people- screamed that in this situation, silence was the wrong answer.
The knight’s attention and sword went to Janus, a shadow of amusement on his face as his right eyebrow twitched. “Oh? But it would be quite cruel for her to die without knowing what her crime is, wouldn’t it?”
“Ignorance is a crime of its own.”
The knight paused before he looked Janus up and down, “A prince with no crown? …A Child of the Harem then?”
“Correct.”
“Interesting,” he concluded, sheathing the weapon, and Janus forced himself not to give a large breath of relief like he wanted. The knight then focused on the Second Princess- or rather, her crown. “Your King was the one who cursed the Empire and caused the deaths of thousands. I think the amount of blood that shall be shed is inconsequential in comparison.”
The Second Princess pushed away the Queen’s hand, “Father would never! You-” she was stopped again by her mother, but this time their eyes locked, and an understanding moved between them.
The knight looked as if he was trying to hide his disgust, “Lock them up and prepare them for transport. Executions will occur back in the capital before all the people they’ve hurt. As for the nobility, I've already given your orders for them.”
The knights around them resoundingly said, “Yes, Your Grace!” And just like that, Janus found himself being shuffled along with the rest of the royal family, and he could only hope that the lingering inquisitive gaze he felt boded well for his future.
Upon having his wrists bound, he and the rest of his family were shoved into a relatively small cell for the number of them in the castle’s dungeon. It was certainly strange being on this side of the bars down here, but he supposed anything was better than the alternative. If they were to be transported back to the Empire’s capital, he had time to try and negotiate something for himself. It may all be for naught, but at least- unlike his father- he wouldn’t go down without a fight.
“You're insane.”
The sound of his mother’s voice drew his attention back to his family amongst him. She was across the cell from him, with a few family members between them. She didn't speak again, just watching him with eyes full of fear, worry, tears, and surprise. He waited a moment and then another, but when no words left her lips, he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes so he wouldn’t need to see her face as he responded. “The silence was heavy enough to kill on its own accord… so I broke it.”
He heard his family quietly chitter amongst themselves as they commented on his behavior. It was probably the most attention they had ever spent on him, and it didn’t feel nearly as good as he had imagined.
It was early morning when they were pulled from their cell and outside to greet the rising sun and the three prison wagons waiting underneath it. Janus had anticipated that they all would've been split into each by numbers, but he was surprised to find that they were being sorted. Into one wagon went The Queen and her children, in another, the Queens of the Harem, and in the last, Janus and the other illegitimate children. He couldn’t help the spike of hope that struck his chest at the chance that they might be punished based on their status. But any hope quickly fizzled out as he realized the range in his siblings amongst him. More were guilty of horrible things than those who were innocent. So, if the wagon were indeed to divide who lived and died, currently, it seemed the harem would be the only cart to survive. And yet, some in there deserved death just the same.
The convoy traveled through the morning and only stopped once at midday, during which each prisoner was led one by one to relieve themselves under supervision. They were each given a small slice of stale bread, and the trip continued. So Janus would be lying if he said he wasn’t ecstatic to leave the wagon when they stopped for the night. His bottom and back ached from sitting on the hardwood all day, so even if it were just a short walk to use the bathroom, he’d take it. On the way back to the wagon, another knight jogged up, “The Duke requested this one,” she told one holding Janus’ rope. And to Janus’ surprise, he didn’t hesitate to hand it over.
Janus’ heart was thundering in his chest. But the knight said nothing to him as he pulled him along after her towards where the main army had made camp some hundred or so feet away. Eyes wandered to them as they made their way through the camp, but none said anything as they made way for them to pass. That was until they reached the Duke in question.
His father’s killer was sitting amongst his men, seemingly having a casual conversation with them as he sipped stew from a bowl. It was a bit of a strange sight, truthfully. Usually, those of higher status had tents to themselves full of all their luxuries of home, and yet this man was indistinguishable from the rest. Upon their approach, he stood and outstretched a hand, and the rope attached to Janus was set in it. The Duke said nothing as he led Janus away from the rest, simply sipping his dinner as he went, but ultimately, he came to a stop and leaned back against a tree facing Janus.
“You didn’t flinch as your father’s body was liberated from its head, and you also spoke out against your own blood without hesitation,” he started. “And from what I recall, this is often your behavior. You clean up the messes of others, be it with words or with blood… Tell me, what do you gain from that?”
“Rapport,” Janus answered easily. “Rapport with a man who refused to acknowledge me. And as you can see, it was all for naught.”
The Duke hummed another sip from his bowl, “You're quite good with your words. Truly a silver tongue.”
“Am I to take that as a compliment?”
“That is up to your discretion.”
“Then I thank you for the compliment.”
“I hadn’t expected you to beg for your life, but I didn’t expect you’d be this bold either.”
“Why beg? It’s clear whatever I have done so far is enough. And if I am truly to die regardless, then I will say what I please beforehand.”
“Your magic,” the Duke said, changing the subject. “Demonstrate for me.”
Janus couldn’t help but be taken aback by the statement, and it was the first thing that pierced his unaffected mask. But he was quick to repair it. “My deepest apologies; these ropes drain my measly mana.”
The Duke nodded as he stood off the tree and led Janus back through the camp to the prison wagons, where the guarding knights stiffened as they approached. “Remove his bonds,” the Duke ordered. The knights were confused, but they were quick to free Janus’ wrists anyway.
“Recover your measly mana ,” The Duke mocked. “I’ll ask for another demonstration tomorrow.”
~~~~
It was a test. Janus knew that well. Evidently, the Duke knew exactly what Janus’ skillset was- and yet he had more or less left Janus to his own devices. Sure, he was still behind the wagon’s bars and surrounded by knights, but that meant nothing. The mana he had regained by the time they were moving in the morning was more than enough for him to transform and escape. He could simply morph into a bird and take flight to a place where he’d never be seen again. That is, if he could avoid the archers. He could become a fly. He couldn’t get far or fly long, but he could lose them- but for how long? He could wait until they took him out of the wagon again, and become a horse and start sprinting- but the knights had their own horses. He could wait and then become a bear and maul them all on his way out, but there were too many to take them down. And even if he did get away, then what? The Empire had already taken over the Kingdom. And all nobility was being watched. It wouldn't take long for the commoners to realize that a person amongst them had a different level and different kind of education than they did. He would need to be constantly moving, constantly changing faces to survive- and he wasn't sure how long that would last. This was a test.
A test to see if Janus would take the bait off of its silver spoon, or if he would place his life in the hands of another. Especially when there was no proof that the Duke would allow him to live. Maybe he had sparked enough interest to save his life, but if he had, he’d still have to deal with a target on his back for the rest of his life. To keep himself breathing, he would need to let go of all ego and pride and do whatever he was asked forever- he’d have to go back to the way he was before his father spared him that first glance. Back to craving- needing that attention so badly that it hurt without it. This form of survival was one he had already led, and perhaps he could do it again now that he had learned from his mistakes... Or maybe it would end just the same. But, of course, this was all dependent on what the Duke intended to do with him. Because, quite frankly, it was far more likely that the man was the type to play with his prey before slitting its throat.
Removing his bonds was a test—a test for the Duke to see Janus’s character. And yet, even though he knew himself best, Janus wasn’t sure what the correct answer was.
His mind had been racing, running through possibilities to the point it exhausted him, yet Janus stayed put. He ignored his siblings' questioning as they also begged him to remove their bonds. While Janus still wasn't sure about running, he knew that freeing others—even the small children—would only end badly for everyone involved.
After dinner of the same stale bread, Janus found himself being marched through the knight’s camp once more. The Duke was once again eating with his men, but upon noticing Janus, he rose and led Janus away from the rest.
“Show me,” he said simply once they were alone.
Janus’ eyes skimmed the area behind him as the knights, who were at a slight distance, faced the other direction. It seemed they had been ordered to leave them be.
“Well?”
Janus took a deep breath as he felt the mana pulse within his veins as he focused on his transformation. He focused on his appearance. He needed to be an inch taller, his eyes a hair smaller, and their color to match that piercing blue. He focused on each of his features as he felt his body grow and shift until he looked the Duke in the eye. The Duke didn’t appear surprised as he looked at his own face; instead, he gave a pleased hum as he scanned Janus up and down before he made a small circle around Janus. “It's quite good,” he concluded, standing before Janus once again as he touched his finger to his lips in thought.
Janus mirrored the action as he focused his mana on his vocal cords. “I’m good at what I do.”
There was a glimmer of amusement in that eye, “You can mimic my voice as well?”
“What do you think, Your Grace? Do my parlor tricks, please?”
“They do. But I wouldn’t call them parlor tricks. You can turn into beasts as well, can't you? Show me.”
Janus couldn't hide his slight frown, and glancing behind him again, he unbuttoned his shirt.
“What are you doing?”
Janus removed his shirt as he answered, “Beasts are far larger than we are. I would prefer not to rip my only clothes.”
“Fine, something smaller then.”
Janus was more than thankful for that. He dropped his shirt to the ground anyway, though, and began to morph his limbs and digits to fit what was needed. He forced himself not to make any sounds of pain as his face rearranged itself; he needed to impress. When he had finished, he took a step out of his now discarded pants and gave a stretch.
“A cat,” The Duke nodded as he examined Janus. “Do you intend to maul me with your puny claws?”
“I considered it,” Janus replied.
“You can still speak?”
“In certain conditions.”
The man paused as he circled Janus once more before reaching out a hand that was now as large as Janus’ face to ruffle the fur on Janus’ head, much to his dismay. Janus pulled back against the contact and gave a cat hiss, but the Duke didn’t seem to mind. “How long does it last?”
“Depends. The further away from my initial form, the harder it is to maintain and the more mana it takes. I also need to maintain a certain level of focus. That’s why I stick to parlor tricks.”
“It's impressive nonetheless. Such magic is nearly unheard of.”
“My mother was of Osteria’s House Altier before she was sent to be my Father’s.”
“Osteria’s lineage magic was indeed top class... Can your mother do the same?”
Janus couldn't help but think that an average person in this situation would feel fear at the thought of potentially putting their mother in harm’s way. Still, rather than that, Janus wondered if he was rendering himself obsolete. “She can, but her mana levels are lower than average,” he lied. Thankfully, the Duke seemed to believe him.
“You’ll be enough. When we reach the capital, I will need to speak with His Majesty to confirm some things, but I’ll make you a deal once we arrive—one that keeps you alive—and maybe someone else if you behave.”
Janus returned to his clothes and began morphing into his human form. When he had, he pulled himself to his feet and put his shirt back on, asking, “What do you want me to do?”
“For now, all you need to do is keep this conversation and your abilities between us. You’ll need all your mana conserved for when we arrive.”
With that, the Duke made it clear that there was nothing more to be said as he began to lead the way back they had come because he knew Janus would follow. They walked in silence for a while, but just before they came into earshot of the knights watching the prisoners, Janus spoke, “I know nothing of the curse’s workings. Only that the war with Osteria served to-”
“I believe you,” The Duke interrupted. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not useful to me. I’ll see you soon enough, Prince Ekans.”
~~~~
All Chapters
#sanders sides fic#janus centric#janus sanders#logan sanders#minor violence#shapeshifting#enemies to friends to lovers#enemies to lovers#monsters#magic#royalty au#tags may change#virgil sanders
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I did a thing...
I don't think I've ever posted a video directly to tumblr before, but I don't know, I just need to shout into my void for a little bit. Because it fits so well! Logan spending season 5 and season 6 coming to terms with the fact, that for the first time it's different. First when he commits to being her boyfriend and then it gets reinforced when they break-up and he realizes, that he can't go back to his life before. That he doesn't want that life anymore.
Because yeah, growing up so much what he and his friends saw was 'love is a lie'. Their parents certainly didn't love each other (forget about loving your children) and so much of the society surrounding them was basing their value as a person on their family name and their net worth. And that was just the way it was and that was fine and who wants to be tied down to a person anyway? There were enough strings in their lifes already. And then he meets Rory and suddenly 'love is a lie' and 'i don't wanna be tied down' just doesn't feel as true anymore. For the first time a lot of the things he was sure of just didn't apply to her and it takes him some time to re-adjust and fully go 'yeah, this is different and i accept that'. And I think it's really lovely, the way he slowly gets used to and learns what to do with these new circumstances. And then of course, once he's in, he's in.
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some end-of-2023 asks that didn't get asked but I'm answering them anyways! Some are from AO3 Wrapped and some are from the more general 2023 reblog.
How many works did you publish this year?
20! It's so much more than I thought I would post, let alone write!
What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?
Bittersweet, That Glitter (aka, Dragon!Pierre) by a long shot. I love the fantasy & worldbuilding and it's some of my best stuff. (I also loved dropping it on Sol unexpectedly and having her start shouting at me within a minute of posting it. Seriously, AO3, you chose then to be speedy with email notifications??)
What work of yours has the most hits?
My Pierre/Charles/Max Soulmark AU. Probably because it's one of the few chaptered fics that I have and probably because it's lestappen tagged.
Of my oneshots, Omega!Pierre just beats OnlyFans!Charles by a few hits.
What work was the quickest to write?
I started Take, Take Me Over at 6:30am, wrote 1.9k words, edited, and posted it by 8:30am. (Then I went to the gym and found the perfect song inspiration. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )
What work took you the longest to write?
Another Deep Dive All The Way Down (aka, the Carlando Coffeeshop AU that's a companion to Mermaid!Charles) probably had the longest time start to finish because I kept procrastinating writing the ending.
What’s your shortest work of the year?
I wrote exactly 1,016 words for the short-fic prompt challenge, Trading Controllers, and I'm impressed at how much story I squeezed into just over a thousand words.
How many kudos in total did you get this year?
I'm sitting at 2,307 while I'm writing this and that is simply insane! I'm done posting Coffeeshop and I'm hoping to get a few more on that one since it's now 100% complete.
Honestly, the fact that over two thousand people have liked my stuff enough to say they like my stuff is incredible!
Which work has the most comments?
By sheer number? Soulmark AU at 66 comment threads, but that averages to 3.9 per chapter. Mermaid!Charles has 4.1 per chapter, for comparison.
Of my oneshots, Nymph!Pierre has 8 (including an ESSAY that makes me 🥰), Baker!Pierre has 7, and OnlyFans!Charles has 7.
What do you listen to while writing?
I actually usually listen to Twitch streams. The video game music + the commentary/content gives me something to flip back to while I'm thinking over story ideas and doesn't pull me out of the writing flow like listening to distinct songs.
Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?
It's so hard to pick just one! Here's some of my favorites:
1. The 'little squid' bit from Nymph!Pierre
2. The whole meet-cute scene from Baker!Pierre (+ Kimi's "But that did not go well")
3. The line from Dragon!Pierre after he leaves ("Now that he knew the warmth of Charles' hands, of his mouth, on his body, there was no way the sun could compare.")
4. The absolute heartbreak of Pierre saying goodbye to Mermaid!Charles
5. OnlyFans!Charles pointing to himself ("what a coincidence! I also like your shirt.")
Talk about a new friend you made this year
Literally everyone in the Calamar's Club, but especially Logan & Sol. Sol for being the sweetest person ever, letting me be insane about dragons, and inviting me to the server after seeing me shout into the void for friends. Logan for dragging me into the chaos, the constant encouragement of everyone, and for making me melt every time they react to anything I post.
How was your birthday this year?
Excellent! I visited my sister, went to her wedding dress fitting, and we saw the musical Six! It was my first time seeing it and it was AMAZING.
Favorite book(s) you read this year?
The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune & The Near Witch by VE Schwab
What are you excited about for next year?
Posting my PWFE fic, meeting up with a local-ish fandom friend, and hopefully planning my first overseas trip!
If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?
Read your fucking comments, Espi! You could have been making new friends and having fun conversations all year and you were too much of a coward to try that until ~September~. Most of them are lovely and you should ignore the ones that aren't!
Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions?
Yep! I resolved to start lifting at the gym (instead of just doing cardio) and I've made pretty good progress! Going to continue into next year for sure!
#Espi answers asks!#or really non-asks in this instance#ao3 wrapped#2023 asks#get to know your fanfic author!
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
You give such good Kenstewy recs but I was wondering - what would the opposite be, not in the sense of you *don't* recommend the fic, but more in the sense of, what's something if it pops up in a Kenstewy fic that you just *hate* and feel doesn't fit or work?
Thank you for your question and for giving me an opportunity to unpack my love of kenstewy fics. I love reading ks fics and appreciate any chance to gush about fics I’ve enjoyed reading with others. I’ve probably read 90% of the 350 kenstewy fics currently in existence as I write this response.
First, I should also say the reason I started reading fics after season 3 ended was because I remembered Arian Moayed bringing it up in an interview. I was originally looking for Roman and Mencken because…well we all saw 3.06. Reading the YKW fic led me to reading the companion KenStewy fic and I never looked back.
Initially I read canon, pre-canon, canon compliant because some of the premises seemed so out of left field but I was obsessed and there was no succession to fill the 2022 void so kept reading others fics like au or divergent from story beat. What I realized is that what I like is the dynamic and Stewy and Ken loving each other, being friends for a long time or forming deep connections, bickering because their personalities are different, and Stewy hating Logan.
The answer to your questions is the same reason I won’t ever be at 100%. I won’t read a fic if Kendall dies in it. I love Kendall and want him to live always. I will not read ks with incest tag. I feel the same about sexual assault. My charitable and empathetic reading is I know that some writers are writing from personal experience or are processing through stuff but for those subject matters I would’t read them on ao3.
I think there have been a few fics that had kenstewy being particularly mean or cruel to each other that just didn’t ring true to their dynamic to me or something else was off. I’m sure there have been some fics where something happened and I thought to myself ‘hell no’ but nothing stands out; I accept people using creative license. I have side-eyed a few sex scenes for being too long or not based on “realistic sex” but that’s just me.
Lastly, I wrote two fics. They’re ok/mid, but I say this to say my respect and awe for fic writers is immense and my feeble attempt makes me even more interested in shouting out writers. I would literally bow down to the writer of the Scandinavian Defense. I’m not sure when I’ll love another show or be into a ship enough to read fics about them but it’s been fun.
Wow, this response was long and meadering…
I’ll end by shouting out the two recent fics that I’m really loving:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/45757576/chapters/115149298 (WIP)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/44105367/chapters/110901660 (Completed)
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sick
Summary: Big Time Rush; James and Katie are secretly crushing on each other but won't say anything because of Kendall an the rest of his family
“James are you.. Oh gross.” Carlos grimaces as James sneezes on his hand.
“Can’t find any tissues..” He coughs a little and Carlos sighs.
“LOGAN!!!! James is sick!!! Can you-”
“SHUT UP!!!!” Katie cuts across shouting but her voice cracks and then she’s coughing.
“You got Katie sick!”
“I didn’t!!!!” James waves his hand and Logan laughs at him laying in bed.
“It’s a joke James; we both know about your crush on her; you’re lucky she’s only two years younger than us… The press would have a field day..”
“She’s Kendalls sister; that null and voids anything else.”
“Don’t quote the bro code; I’m sick; nothing is going to happen..”
“Mhm; you’re just going to be stuck here with her; just her watching crappy movies and eating toast; it’s clearly the plot of a rom-com.” Logan chuckles and James wheezes a little trying to laugh.
James wakes up to find a blanket on him and a very different movie playing on the tv then when he moved ot the couch.
“Katie?” He groan a little and she offers out some toast; he laughs remember Logans previous comment and she scowls.
“What; it’s toast? You’re not like hallucinating with a fever or anything?”
“Fever dreams.” He sits up slowly taking the toast from her.
“You okay?” Katie nudges his shoulder a little and he sneezes.
“Mhm just thinking.. I uh, like you.” James decides he can pretend it was a fever dream if she says anything bad.
“Oh; uh, okay that’s um; I have a crush on you so…”
“So uh you like me back? Even if I’m sneezing every five seconds?”
“Yes James I like you back. Kattie laughs or tries to but she just ends up coughing.
“I think it’ll be fine James; no one has to know; and I doubt my mom or brother will actually care as much as you’re making it seem like the will.”
“Katie what’s going to happen is…”
“Kendall is going to find out, kill you or break the band up; whichever is easier; you’re convinced that it’s murdering you; he’ll go to jail and mom will be distraught and try to keep the band going without him in his memory; the other members will resent you and theyn you’ll all end up hating each other; and all that stress will cause us to break up if you’re not already dead from Kendall murdering you; and then the whole murder or attempted murder will be pointless because we’ve broken up!” Katie cheerfully explain and James scowls.
“Okay that’s not how I said it.”
“It’s basically the same thing minus a few different details.” He laughs and Katie smirks at him before leaning in for a quick kiss before Kendall bangs through the door.
“Can you two stop making out and hurry up we’re going to be late for.. Oh come on everyone knows we can talk more about it in the studio!” Kendal laughs grabbing James arm and tugging him away.
Support My Writing?
#big time rush#big time rush imagine#katie knight#james diamond imagine#katie knight imagine#kendall knight#carlos garcia#katie x james#james x katie#katie knight x james diamond#james diamond#james diamond x katie knight#stattic#written
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Well then, that's another season under our collective belts. If I were to rate this season I'd say...middling. Had some moments, for sure, but mostly felt fairly standard. Even so, I had fun. Heck, gives me something to ramble about for a few hours every other weekend. :P Speaking of, to the final rambling race summary of the season!
Congrats to the podium finishers of Max, Charles, and George! Wherever your biases lie, ya gotta admit that Max was incredibly dominant throughout the whole year. As much as I kinda hate to say it, dang, Red Bull can make a heck of a car.
Well done to the rest of the top ten, too! In order they were Checo, Lando, Oscar, Nando, Yuki, Lewis, and Lance. Checo took that five second penalty that dropped him off the podium. Nando was up and down through the positions, but it's nice to see both Astons finishing in the points. And getting a battle between Lewis and Nando was nice. Especially after the interesting comments from Lewis about Nando being the Prost to his Senna. Heh.
Good job to the rest of the race finishers, as well! In order we had Dan, Esteban, Pierre, Alex, Hulk, Logan, Zhou, Carlos, Val, and K-Mag. Yeah, surprisingly we had the full grid finish the race. Well, technically. Carlos did retire his car right at the very end, but there were a couple cars that were a lap down and thus behind him. But hey, at the end of the season, where some are threatening to fall apart like the Blues Brothers' car, not a bad ending result.
So then, with that, that's the end of the season and the last of my liveblogs for the year! Once again, it was fun doing these and I'm definitely going to try and continue my rambling come next year. It's nice to shout into a void with an occasional ear listening in and nodding along. Although I'm not the most active member of the larger F1blr, it's nice to know there's others out there also shouting and grumbling and cheering as the F1 circus chugs along.
Well then, with my bit of sentimentality done, the F1 winter break is upon us and it's time for me to go into hibernation mode once again. We'll see what sorts of shenanigans come about during the down time. So, until next season, I hope you all have a lovely rest of your day, your year, and I hope to see you at next race! Until then, later!
0 notes
Text
Thinking about going to bar trivia with my lads 🍻
• Logan would be great at trivia considering he basically lives in bars and half his wardrobe at any X-Men/Avengers/Alpha Flight base consists of shirts he won at some point or another. Despite our situationship, he and Kurt share an unbreakable, sacred (🏳️🌈) bond as trivia partners. They got tattoos to commemorate this while smashed as hell only to have Logan’s healing factor erase it in two hours and Kurt got a square patch shaved off his thigh that took FOREVER to regrow and left his tattoo unreadable once it did.
• Brock tags along with Shore Leave and Gathers to watch Doc, Pete, and Billy bicker amongst themselves while the Triad have their own team. Monarch and Gary would be killer at trivia if Monarch didn’t shout out (incorrect) answers and double down when Gary calls him out on it. I’m there to help fill out whatever team is lacking an even number and enjoy sowing chaos in the ranks by either sweeping the competition or also doubling down on wrong answers on purpose because it riles Brock up.
• Felix has banned all nerds and dumbasses from Trivia Night at his and @flatstarcarcosa’s bar, effectively rendering the entire event null and void (cover charge non-refundable). I’m Double Extra Super Banned with my own DO NOT SERVE picture above the bar because I keep stealing the bar peanuts. In actuality, the peanut theft was mostly Mason which Felix knew from the security footage, but he never passes up a chance to be Petty™️. Sam is also aware but kept his mouth shut because it was kind of funny.
#crawling up the wall because i miss coming up with out of pocket team names#but what if we went to trivia night and were on separate teams? 😳 haha hj…unless? 👀#hc tag
1 note
·
View note
Note
friend! i'm thrilled you enjoy my chris lowell contribution to our 'rookie' fandom fun! i've always appreciated him a ridiculous amount ahahaha! 🙌🏻 on the piz affinity!
Chris Lowell is aging like a fine wine. He has insane forearms, and such a charming smile.
How can we mention him without acknowledging the magic of LoVe, because Liz never stood a chance when Logan Fucking Echolls was there. That show (season 4 never happened) broke my heart in such a deeply, wonderfully brutal way. `
Sorry, Stosh, it was never going to last.
Chris Lowell, however, that man is a dreamboat.
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
love that the percy jackson tv show news dropped and twitter made logan trend bc we all want him to be poseidon lmaooo
#i totally didn't start crying when i learned the news 👀👀👀#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#logan lerman#shouting into the void*
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wicked AU Thoughts
These thoughts are making me feel some sort of way so take them:
Janus panicking when he finds out he can't room with Virgil at school but still trying to take care of him any way he can.
Patton accidentally volunteering to room with Janus, appearing like an even more amazing person since most people won’t even talk to Janus.
Patton and Janus initially hating each other but eventually becoming best friends!!
Patton giving Janus the hat!! (Do I mean the iconic witch hat or am I replacing that with Janus's bowler? More at 11.)
Roman showing up at the school and Patton is immediately *heart-eyes*.
Patton encouraging Logan to take Virgil to the ball, and Logan does even though he really likes Patton because he does not know how to deal with feelings and thinks this will make Patton like him more. :(
Virgil subsequently being *heart-eyes* at Logan even though it's not REAL because Virgil is not used to being shown affection ugh my heart.
Janus realizing Roman isn't just a shallow prince and catching feelings, but as far as he knows, Roman is totally in love with Patton.
Roman still has a bit of an ego, so he doesn't let himself go after Janus for appearance purposes even though he really wants to, and he ends up staying with Patton even though THOSE feelings aren't real EITHER please communicate you guys.
Patton and Roman getting engaged a couple years later only for that to end in heartbreak when Roman runs off with Janus, Patton’s absolute feeling of BETRAYAL at the hands of his closest friends, I-
Janus visiting Virgil after 2 years of not seeing each other only for Virgil to lash out, even after Janus uses magic to give Virgil the ability to walk (Virgil is in a wheelchair for this AU for anyone unfamiliar with Wicked).
Logan straight up becoming Oz’s tin woodsman, thus having NO HEART, the PARALLELS.
Janus finding out Remus has been silenced forever, only driving him further down his so-called "wicked" path.
Roman sacrificing himself for Janus, leading to Janus going over the edge now that everyone he cared about has been hurt by his good intentions.
Patton and Janus seeing each other one last time before Janus is melted.
Patton being loved by the citizens of Oz, covering up the great loss he’s just experienced so that he can be happy with them and for them.
Patton achieving his dreams, but it's all so bittersweet since he doesn't have his best friends beside him.
This was a lot, so congrats if you got this far. I just have a lot of thoughts about this, and these aren't even all of them.
#sanders sides#janus sanders#patton sanders#roman sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders#remus sanders#deceit sanders#wicked au#sanders sides wicked au#royality#roceit#moceit#analogical#logicality#if you squint#please let me know if i should talk about this more#i mean i definitely will#i just dont wanna feel like im shouting into the void
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
All Kittens Are Black In The Dark: One
Parenting is hard in general, but Janus and Logan learn it can be even harder, especially when your baby isn't entirely human. But that doesn’t mean they love him any less.
aka Lociet adopts a baby werecat!Virgil
Ao3 - Masterlist - Other Chapters
~~~~
One
Logan gave a frown as his handiwork before he undid it once more. Despite two weeks having passed between, the papers were signed and they brought Virgil home from the hospital, he had yet to improve. He gave a sigh as he moved the three week old back into the crib momentarily before heading off in search of his husband. It didn’t take long to find Janus, the man was sitting on their bed reading something which looked suspiciously like the work he had promised to put away.
“It’s not work,” he said as Logan entered.
Logan raised an eyebrow, “Oh? Then what is it?”
“Some of the papers Virgil’s doctor gave us.”
Logan paused, taking in Janus’ too casual expression and the slightly annoyed look he hid behind those beautiful eyes. “And what’s the paper behind it?“
Janus gave a blush at being caught before he set the papers aside. “Did you need something?”
“I need the ‘expert swaddler’ to help me out.”
“You’ll get it soon enough,” Janus promised, leading the way back to Virgil’s room.
“It seems no amount of practice nor watching or reading instructions helps me learn such a task,” Logan sighed. “I didn’t think this would be one of the things I struggled with.”
“You're really just overthinking it, Lo. All you gotta do is turn him into a little burrito.”
“I'd rather have a baby than a burrito.”
“Why not both? It’s not too too late, we can probably order f-” Janus stopped abruptly both in his sentence and his actions. He had just been a step inside the nursery, and then he froze blocking Logan from entering.
“Do you mind?”
“Logan.”
In his years with the man he loved, Logan had learned to discern Janus’ thoughts and feelings solely by his tone. He could tell when his love was excited, stressed, sad, happy, angry- or like now- terrified.
“What is it?” He asked quickly, panic spiking as he pushed his way into the room. His eyes immediately went to where he had left their son moments before- but it was clear to see that the baby wasn’t there. The crib held nothing, but a few lumps under the blanket he had attempted to swaddle with. Where the fuck is Virgil?
Unsure what else to do, Logan rushed forward and removed the blanket to discover what was beneath it. An empty newborn onesie, a diaper void of a baby and... a kitten?
The animal looked far too small to be- well anywhere, and it had black fur and bright purple eyes. In the far depths of his mind Logan wondered if that was natural eye color for cats, but at present his heart was still attempting to erupt from his chest at the lack of his child.
“Logan,” Janus said again. His tone unchanged as he grabbed onto Logan's arm as if trying to ground himself. “Tell me you’re pranking me,” Janus demanded.
“I left him here,” Logan asserted. “I-I was just going to get you and then you could help me and the three of us could just- I don’t know! I’m not hiding him!”
“And what’s with the cat?” Janus asked, stepping forward to look at the small animal. “No, not important! Where did you put him?”
“I didn’t put him anywhere!”
“You must’ve!”
“I didn’t,” Logan said again, turning around. His eyes ran across the room looking for some sort of explanation. Virgil was three weeks old. He couldn't move on his own, and they were the only ones in the house, so how- “Give me your phone!” He shouted suddenly turning to face Janus.
“What? Why?”
“I left mine in the bedroom, we can check the baby monitor! That’s the point of it having video right?”
Janus’ hands fumbled for the phone in his pocket but when he had it out and the app was opened, both of their gazes were glued to the screen. And quite frankly this version of events was far more bizarre than anything Logan could have hypothesized. Because how else could one describe the sight of a human baby transforming into a cat?
And yet, somehow there was Virgil. His tiny torso was covered by the small blanket, just as Logan had left him, and then his body began to shrink and change and black fur came to be, and then underneath the blanket were a few small lumps until the frightened parents walked in.
Silence rang loud in the nursery, as Janus played the footage again and again and again. It just didn’t make sense. But despite the many questions they had as to how this had happened or how long it would last, there were more pressing questions at the moment. For example… How do you get a kitten to stop crying?
The mews were soft and continuous as the kitten-baby cried, but neither Logan or Janus were exactly fit to know what to do. It was easy to see that his diaper was impossible to be the issue, so the next logical choice was to feed him, but what?
Janus was quick to begin googling, while Logan began the bizarre task of trying to comfort Virgil. He was more than careful to scoop Virgil’s small form into his hands, and bounced him that way- hoping it would make any sort of difference. But given the way the mews continued, he doubted that Virgil thought any differently about his actions.
“This is useless,” Janus grumbled, scrolling through links. “Everything says their mother’s milk or a substitute, but nothing says what to do if we don’t have that. We have formula, but can you give a cat baby formula?”
“Not sure,” Logan shrugged as he attempted to pacify Virgil with small head pats, but the news only increased so he sighed and retracted his finger. “But we can't give him normal milk, cats are lactose.”
“What? Then are cats given milk in every movie?”
“Unimportant,” was Logan’s only answer as he handed Virgil to Janus who awkwardly took him and held him close to his chest.
“Oh, um alright... right. Should we try, like a tiny amount of formula. Like a sip or two?”
Truthfully Logan’s brain was just about fried from the insanity of this dream he was yet to wake up from, so all he could do was head to the kitchen to make a bottle.
Small mews of protests wounded Logan in a way he had never felt before as he moved the bottle away. Logan’s eyes met Janus’ who only looked back to Virgil and ran a finger over the kitten’s back in what was hopefully a comforting manner. But no words were spoken as the clock ticked on. This night was a long one, and neither he nor Janus had managed to sleep. They just sat or laid on the nursery floor with a blanket and Virgil between them. Virgil had slept a bit (after they had finally fed him a bit more after seeing no horrible effects), but overall the family was exhausted. But it’s because they were awake, that Logan got to watch as the kitten’s limbs lengthened slightly and the fur seemed to recede and vanish until the newborn he recognized returned.
While Logan was frozen by the sight, thankfully Janus had the sense to get a diaper and clothes for their baby who was quick to fall asleep once he was dressed (and swaddled). The moment Virgil was asleep, Janus rose and walked out the door and Logan was quick to follow. They walked in silence to their bedroom, where Virgil was placed in the crib beside their bed and where Janus promptly collapsed on the bed and patted the area beside him.
Logan took a deep breath as he first moved to look at Virgil. His baby looked just as normal and perfect as he had before, like he had never changed at all. His hands moved slowly as he moved to touch his baby’s head and when he did, he felt as if all the tension he had been storing within him melted away. Despite whatever the fuck had happened, Virgil was okay.
“He doesn’t even look bothered,” Janus commented.
Logan gave a hum of thought as he laid down beside his husband, “We should go to the pet store tomorrow. If this is a regular thing we’re going to need stuff for it.”
“Shouldn’t you be questioning how this is even possible?” Janus yawned.
“I’m focusing on what we can do. And currently? That’s just coping.”
They hadn’t told anyone, given they weren’t sure what exactly to say or if they would even be believed. But then again they weren’t even sure what had happened or why, rather all they knew is what they had seen that night, and yet afterwards life had proceeded like the baby’s transformation had never happened- like it had been one strange shared dream. And truthfully Logan was willing to believe it was, until it happened for the second time. Just like the first time, it had come out of nowhere.
Logan gave a pancake a flip before his gaze drifted back to Janus who sat at the kitchen table looking half asleep as he fed Virgil. Silently he wondered what had occurred at work, but Janus looked like he needed food and sleep more than a venting session. When Janus’ questioning gaze turned towards him, Logan turned back to the late “dinner” he was making and busied himself with not letting pancakes burn. Truthfully he had no understanding of what it was about breakfast for dinner that Janus loved so much (outside of the fact that he got away with not cooking for the night), but it was the one thing he could cook without Janus chastising him for using too many or two few spices. It’s not like it was his fault that every recipe either didn’t have what it needed to match Janus’ tastes, or that it didn’t tell him to add things to it. Baking was so much easier. Everything was defined, while cooking had too much “feeling” involved in its steps for him to comprehend enough to please Janus (he always thought it tasted good enough himself).
“Logan.” Janus’ tired yet alarmed voice drew Logan to turn around to find his husband looking wide eyed at a kitten in the bundle of clothes and blankets that were Virgil’s.
“He…” the rest of Logan’s words didn’t seem to care about leaving his mouth as he watched Janus gently set the bundle and cat on the kitchen table.
“Well congrats,” Janus said dryly. “We’re not insane… and you’re burning the bacon.”
Once breakfast-dinner was done (but slightly singed), they ate in silence as they watched the kitten lie on his clothes and bite at a now too big pacifier apparently quite content. But then again, what did babies really have to be concerned about?
“It’s been a month,” Logan started as he sorted out his thoughts. “And it happened when he was three weeks initially. So maybe it’s a monthly phenomenon? What else is monthly… the moon?” As a stupid thought rose in his mind, Logan stood and moved to the closest window and looked out scanning the sky. But seeing nothing he moved to the next at a different angle, and then another before he saw what he had been thinking about. “A full moon.”
“So you’re saying… that we adopted a werewolf? Or some sort of cat variant of one?”
Exhaustion hit Logan all at once as he returned to his seat, “Do you have a better explanation?”
Janus made a noncommittal sound into a bite of pancake. “I guess it makes as much sense as everything else.”
Truthfully Logan absolutely hated the fact that this was the concept that made the most sense. “And shortly after he turned back the sun rose if I recall correctly.”
A soft mew came from Virgil as he nestled further into his blankets searching for warmth. So Logan reached over and pulled the other side of the blanket onto Virgil’s back and he was thanked with a slight purr in response as Virgil made himself comfortable.
“I have more questions rather than less,” Logan sighed. “Babies can’t even roll over at this age, and yet a kitten this old should be able to walk on its own.”
“Well considering he’s human most of the time maybe that’s dominant in his genes or something? That’s how biology works right?”
“In a simplified manner, yes.”
“Do you think the adoption agency would allow us to contact the mother if we said he has a genetic condition?”
“I… I don’t know. We may need proof to do so, like a note from a doctor. And I don’t think a picture of Virgil like this would work in this case.”
“Do you think that’s why the adoption was closed?” Janus asked softly. “It’s hard to believe they didn’t know about… this.”
“It’s a possibility, but more than that it’s a risk. So many would react far differently than we did. They could have tossed him out or worse.”
Janus reached out a finger and gave Virgil a light pet between the ears before he spoke. “We waited years to have a baby. We’ve been rejected by parents, and had parents decide to keep their baby, and just had the whole process go south.” He gave a soft yet rueful laugh, “I still remember when we first started the process and you did all the research. You told me it could take years for a baby and I had just rolled my eyes, I thought you were being dramatic. But this process is what’s dramatic... We haven’t waited this long to be fathers to be stopped by whatever this is. All I care about is that Virgil needs us, and that we need him.”
“That’s all that matters,” Logan agreed with a slight smile as he took Janus’ free hand in his own. “We’ll figure it out. But we’re going to need to avoid planning things on full moons.”
Janus gave a soft but real laugh. “That we can do.”
~~~~
One - Other Chapters
#logan spends a lot of time analyzing his husbands voice#Janus Sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders#baby!virgil#werecat#werecat!virgil#lociet
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m gonna do it. i’m gonna promo my FAVORITE favorite sculptist.
i recently bought a little bud from isabelle schumaker, an independent artist. y’all don’t follow me for this but her creatures are SO. CUTE. they’re adorable!!! and right up tumblr’s alley. please for the love of everything good and holy. look at her stuff
i feel like y’all should know she exists. god.
#rae shouts into the void#feel free to not do anything with this post but PLEAASE for your own enrichment. click the link#i’m SO excited for it to come in. i’ve been blathering about it to logan for ages#and so many other people. and now y’all too
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Infinitesimal (part 16)
Author’s note: I was originally going to cut this one off sooner so it was shorter... but I really like the scene with Virgil and Emile, so you guys get a long one today. Consider it a make up for the lack of a chapter update last week. (Although, if you haven’t seen it, I did post Emile’s character design, so you can look for that if you like!)
Warnings: food mention, technically thievery, exhaustion, illness and injury mentions
Word count: 2936
Look for the masterpost in the notes!
...
When Patton woke up the next morning, he was alone. Virgil must have left sometime in the night. Patton sighed, unable to help but be a tiny bit disappointed. He wiggled forward until he was in the middle of the pillow rather than on only one half of it. This way it would be harder for the humans to tell that anyone else had ever been there.
After a few minutes, Patton realized that he could hear one of the humans moving around in the kitchen, which he figured must have been what had woken him. He sat up as the noises came closer, gripping the blankets nervously. It quickly became clear that the human was coming towards him and would be in sight at any second.
Logan stepped into the room holding a small, shiny bundle in one hand. It was slightly bigger than the size of Patton’s head. The human looked surprised to see that Patton was awake.
“Good morning,” he said, almost businesslike, although he was thankfully keeping his voice quiet. “I brought you some breakfast—you may eat it now, or you may wait until later this morning. Either way, it should stay warm until you’re hungry.” He set down the bundle on the table, far enough from Patton that he didn’t get too agitated at the approach.
Patton lifted himself up on his elbows and looked at it. He couldn’t see what the food was, though, since it was wrapped up in aluminum foil.
“I have to go to class, now,” Logan continued, as if Patton were supposed to know what ‘class’ was. “Do you need anything before I go?”
Patton hesitated before shaking his head. He probably would have denied it even if he had needed something.
Logan nodded, taking his response at face value. “Alright; in that case, have a good day. Roman should be up in a couple of hours, and I will return early this afternoon.”
Patton blinked at him, unsure what to do with this information.
“Farewell.”
Logan left, the apartment door closing behind him with a soft click. Patton stared after him for a moment, then put his head down on his arms and went back to sleep.
…
Virgil sat in the main room of his and his brother’s house, thinking. He really wished that he hadn’t had to tell Patton all of those personal things about himself the night before, but he wouldn’t have considered lying about it instead. He wouldn’t manipulate Patton like that.
He supposed it was worth it to know what exactly Patton had been through. What he was continuing to go through.
Still, Virgil couldn’t help but feel that a guy like Patton—someone who put others before himself, who was so kind and sweet—would only take Emile’s side and try to tell him that he shouldn’t leave the relative safety of the walls. Virgil couldn’t help but resent that, even if it was only a supposition. He might have been crippled, but he was no helpless invalid.
Virgil sighed and looked towards the watch face propped up in one corner of the room. The black numbers blinked slowly at him. It was quite early in the day to be awake, especially for a little, since they tended towards nocturnality; but Virgil couldn’t sleep. Emile wasn’t back yet from his supply run, so Virgil was just sitting by himself, stuck with his thoughts. Thoughts which kept going back to Patton. Virgil knew that in all likelihood, the other little was simply sleeping at this early hour, but Virgil couldn’t help but be concerned. He was the one who was too hesitant, too cautious, to have helped him escape the night before. If anything happened to him, it would be Virgil’s fault.
…
The next time Patton woke up, he could tell that the sun had risen higher, since the room was considerably brighter than it had been before. Once again, he could hear a human stirring in another room of the apartment. That must be Roman, he realized.
Patton pushed aside the blankets and got to his feet, swaying for a second. Once he steadied himself, Patton made his way over to the food Logan had left behind. He knelt beside it and unwrapped the foil, revealing a warm, yellow food. Patton recognized it as a bit of scrambled egg, a type of food he had actually seen quite commonly in the past; but Logan had added some cheese in the foil along with it. Had he done that because he knew Patton liked it? Or was it coincidental? Patton didn’t know, so he just dug into the food.
Once he had eaten as much as he could, Patton folded up the foil again as neatly as he could, sealing the remaining egg inside. He was trying to be neat. One of the humans gave off the sense that he preferred things that way—perhaps not making a mess would help keep himself in that human’s good graces. As for the other one, Patton wasn’t sure how to keep him happy.
…
Patton was sitting against the outer wall of the cage, slowly sipping at some water. He drained the cup, set it to the side, and looked down at the bottlecap he was drinking from. He regarded it with the side of his head leaned against the bars. He was almost out of water again. Perhaps he should have asked Logan about that this morning, in hindsight.
However, Roman, who came into the room just minutes after this thought occurred to the little, had apparently already thought of this. He was carrying a bottlecap in one hand. It looked like he was just about ready to leave for the day: he was wearing a jacket and carrying a bag over one shoulder, and his footsteps were louder than usual. That last part put Patton on edge, even though he knew it to be only because Roman was wearing shoes.
“Hi, Patton,” he said brightly, yet still in a low volume. He set down the water-filled bottlecap and collected the other two empty ones that he and the other human had previously provided. Patton stiffened slightly and leaned away from the enormous hand until it was retracted
“Sorry I can’t stay too long,” Roman said apologetically, putting both bottlecaps in one hand. “I’m running late.”
Patton said nothing, just waiting, reluctantly expectant, for what he knew was coming.
“I’ll be back at lunch, okay?”
He seemed to want some sort of response, so Patton nodded. Roman smiled kindly at him, and then he left the apartment.
Wait—what?
Patton was alone. Just… on the table. Neither Roman nor Logan had even brought up the possibility of locking him back in the cage.
Sure, Patton supposed that sticking him back in there could have slipped the human’s mind—he had mentioned being in a hurry, after all; but still, this was odd. It was one thing to let Patton stay out when he was with the humans, or even when they were in the next room. But to leave him out when they weren’t even in the apartment?
It just didn’t make any sense.
…
Patton sat there against the wall of the cage for a while after Roman left, debating what he should do. This moment could be, potentially, a good time to attempt an escape, but Patton remembered what Virgil had said. It was true that he was still sick, that he very well might not make it down to the floor on his own. Less than three days had passed since he nearly drowned, after all, and he had been sick well before that happened. He had no hook, no rope, nothing to aid him. He didn’t know where Virgil was, and he wasn’t about to shout out his name in a blind hope that he was close by. And even if he did get to the floor safely, Patton didn’t know where the hidden doors into the walls were. He was pretty sure that there was one near the window curtain to his right, the one Virgil had been pulling him towards when he had tried to help Patton escape two days before, but where would he even go from there?
The little reached up and pulled himself to his feet with help from the cage’s bars. He held on for a second or two to steady himself and then made his way back over to his blankets and pillow. He wrapped himself up in the blankets, welcoming the warmth.
Just focus on getting better, he told himself. Patton knew that that was what Virgil and what his family, wherever they were, would want him to do. Virgil would come back for him.
…
Roman got home first at lunchtime, even though he had to stop at the store. Logan, the nerd, had probably stayed behind at the campus to write a list of corrections to his textbooks’ authors or something. (Seriously, he had done that exact thing in their freshman year, with an outdated psychology manual that he had found particularly irksome. Long story.)
He set a small bag of groceries on the counter and went to go say hi to Patton, who was hopefully still where he had left him. It had been his insistence that had led to Patton being allowed to stay out today, rather than in the cage. Roman had argued that Patton was well enough to not go wandering off the edge of the table or into some other dangerous situation. Logan appreciated appeals to logic, although Roman had to admit that part of the effectiveness of his argument came from the fact that Logan would have had to skip classes—unthinkable—to stop him.
So, hopefully, Patton was still there. Roman didn’t know what he’d do if he wasn’t. He didn’t want to think about what that might mean for Patton, about what might happen to him. And he would never hear the end of it from his roommate.
So, it was a relief when he got to the other room, knocking softly on the doorframe, and Roman saw that the mouse-man was still there. Patton was back in ‘bed’, curled up under his blankets and with his head on the pillow Roman had made him—that fact made a little burst of pride bloom in his chest. He was wide awake, looking up at the ceiling, apparently just resting.
“Hi, Pat,” Roman said. “How are you?”
Patton sat up, wincing slightly at what Roman could only assume was the pressure this put on his bruised torso. The mouse-man shrugged, not looking directly at him. Roman couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
“Want some lunch?”
Roman didn’t miss the hopeful-looking glance that darted his way. He smiled, although his heart ached a little at the reaction.
“I’ll make us some. Logan should be back soon, so I’ll make enough for him, too.” He started to leave the room, then paused. “Oh, yeah!”
Patton looked up rather sharply at that. Roman did his best to smother his guilt and recall what he’d been about to say.
“Do you… uh… well, I’ve been thinking, and… would you like something else to wear? That outfit you’ve got on isn’t exactly in great shape.” Not only was it dirty and torn, but the majority of it looked like it had once been hot pink, perhaps not a color that the mouse-man had used by choice. Even if it was, Patton would probably feel much better in something new. The pants of his current ensemble barely reached his knees, which along with the short sleeves of Patton’s shirt certainly wouldn’t be helping him stay as warm as he could be. “I could try to make you something, or find something at a store. I’ve even got some fabric in my room—I do costume stuff, sometimes, for the theatre program at school—that you could look through.”
Patton didn’t seem to know how to process his offer, wide-eyed and silent.
Roman licked his lips and looked towards the kitchen. “How about you think it over, and I’ll just start cooking. Deal?”
Patton didn’t really respond, so Roman just hoped for the best and made his way out of the room. He went into the kitchen and looked through the bag of groceries he’d picked up. Logan had stressed the importance of choosing healthy meals for Patton’s sake, and while Roman wasn’t exactly Mr. Junkfood, he figured he could make more of an effort to oblige the request since he had gotten his way with Patton being allowed to remain out during the day.
So, Roman was making rice with veggies and tofu for lunch.
…
Virgil was messing around with a game—one of those ones where you tried to get a tiny ball through a maze and into a hole in the center—to help distract himself, when Emile finally returned. He was several hours later than Virgil had expected, and the little had begun to worry. Emile didn’t say a word at first, dragging his feet as he walked. He dropped his bag of supplies on the floor near Virgil without stopping as he continued on into the bedroom. Virgil dropped the toy he’d been holding to the side, grabbed his crutches, and followed.
Emile had already collapsed facedown into the bed by the time he got inside. His hook and rope were discarded at his feet.
“You okay, Emile?” Virgil asked, looking down at his brother. He knelt at his side, propping his crutches against the wall.
“Tired,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by the blanket he had pressed his face into.
“What happened? It’s almost noon.”
“First two apartments didn’t work out,” he sighed, turning his head just slightly to be heard.
“Oh,” Virgil said. He shifted guiltily. Situations like this were why he hated so much that Emile didn’t let him help him out. Emile’s trip would probably have taken significantly less time with Virgil there, even with his injured foot, and they could have brought twice as much stuff back with them. This feeling was only made worse by the fact that, for all Emile knew, Virgil had just been sitting here the entire time, messing with a toy and doing nothing useful to anyone.
He opened his mouth—to say what, he didn’t know—only to be interrupted by a quiet snore from the bed. Virgil softened. He reached out and gently rested a hand on Emile’s shoulder for a few moments before getting back to his feet. He paused to loosen the lightbulb closest to the bed, effectively turning it out, and then went back into the other room.
He sat down with Emile’s bag and started unpacking what he had brought back: four pieces of cereal, half a pack of Smarties, some cheese crackers, and enough grains of rice to fill the remainder of the bag. Virgil stored each item in its proper place and left Emile’s bag where his brother usually kept it. He then grabbed their broom and left one of his crutches in its place, figuring he could clean around the house while Emile rested. It was the least he could do.
...
Logan opened the apartment door to a smell that even he had to admit was rather heavenly. Roman looked up from his spot by the stove as he came in, a grin on his face. He was wearing an apron that he’d had for years, black with “Prince” on it in the iconic Disney font, a fanciful crown perched on the P. He’d gotten Logan a matching “Princess” one as a gag gift a few months back, which Logan of course refused to wear.
“What are you cooking?” Logan asked, setting his bag down at the table.
“Don’t worry, you’ll like it. It’s just rice with veggies and tofu with a little sauce.” he responded cheerily. “It’s almost done, just give me a couple minutes.”
Logan glanced towards the living room and lowered his voice. “Is Patton still…?”
“Of course. I told you, he’s fine.”
Logan sighed, then went to go help Roman split up the food into bowls—or rather, two bowls and a large bottlecap. He noted that Roman had made rather a lot of food—there would be leftovers.
“Hey, Lo, look what I got today,” Roman said after a minute.
“I am occupied at the moment,” Logan answered, not looking up. He was currently focused on using a kitchen knife to cut up some of the tofu, carrots, and peas into smaller pieces for the convenience of their guest.
“Come on, just look for a second.”
Logan sighed, set down the knife, and looked over at his roommate, who grinned.
“I grabbed it from the theatre department today.” Roman reached in his pocket and pulled something out, showing it proudly to Logan. It was a minuscule piece of plastic—upon closer inspection, a tiny fork.
“I see.”
“They used a dollhouse as part of the set for a production a couple years ago. It was just sitting in one of the supply closets, since they like to keep props in case they come in handy in the future. I figured they wouldn’t miss this.”
Logan nodded. It was a good idea, he would admit. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Roman stealing, but it was such a small thing, and he had to admit it didn’t sound like anyone would care. Besides, if it helped Patton, he felt that it was certainly worthwhile.
...
Tag list: @arc852 @thats-so-crash @romanasanders @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @anyay666 @bluebloodstains @nightmarejasmine @side-for-sides @joyfullyyouniquefangirl @infinitesimal-grey @justanotherpurplebutterfly @punsterterry @dylan-winchesters-blog @wolfie-kinz @i-like-cookiez @smol-jar-of-pickles @musicwithalex @brookeisanerd @scorching-scotch @of-swords-and-princes @thepoolofthedead @a-black-pegasus @brooky71 @downrightdanny @rainbow-sides @anxiousvirgilsanderss @picklesandbeyond @patton-loves-coloring @starryfirefliesbloggo @purplesoul-at-hogwarts @gaylotusthatexists @quoth-the-sparrow @awesomelissawho @amuthefunperson @faithfreedom @heck-im-lost @gayfandomsaremything
#sanders sides#thomas sanders#patton sanders#roman sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders#emile picani#infinitesimal!sides#sanders sides fan fiction#fanfiction#ts fanfic#infinitesimal fic#if you like this please consider leaving a comment so I know I'm not shouting into the void
150 notes
·
View notes
Note
It it okay to request for reader (platonic or romantic) to comfort logan after last episode's events?
Yes lord knows he needs it-
(WTIT spoilers ahead)
.........
.
.
.
.
.
"STOP IGNORING ME!!!"
That single phrase was still fresh in your mind as you approached the logical Side's room.
After seeing the recent video, you were obviously concerned with how Logan was doing now. Even though he reassured you he lost his cool in the spur of the moment, it seemed to be a lot more than just a simple temper flare.
But for his eyes to glow orange as he screamed? You had no idea why that happened, or if it was the influence of another unseen Side that made him lash out.
Regardless, those three words were fueled with such raw anger that you've never seen before. Coupled with Remus' comment of "who do you want to really scream that at", it was clear Logan's frustration over being ignored constantly was sending him over the edge.
While the other Sides were clueless as to what happened, you didn't bother explaining it to them.
You would rather help Logan yourself, but more importantly you wanted to understand why he felt the need to repress that side of him.
After knocking, Logan opened the door almost immediately. His eyes were fixated on a book regarding anger management, though when he realized it was you and not a Side, he was swift to close it.
"Ah, hello darling." He smiled politely, though you noticed he seemed a bit more exhausted than usual.
Between his desperation to keep Thomas on schedule, dealing with Remus' traps, and everything else...it was easy to see it was wearing him down.
"Hey..are you sure you're alright?"
"..pardon?" Now he was confused, furrowing his eyebrows as he wondered why you were suddenly upset.
"You know what I'm talking about. You can't pretend around me, especially not after-"
"Oh..that again?" Once more he tried to dismiss your concerns, shaking his head. "Listen, I can assure you I'm in a much better state of mind now. I've realized I was being too harsh on Thomas, and a fool to think Remus would listen to anything I had to say. I'm sorry again if my outburst frightened you. I'll take steps to ensure that never-"
"You didn't frighten me, Lo." Your voice became softer as you set a hand on the door.
"....I didn't?" He uttered those words with slight disbelief. And it broke your heart to realize that he assumed you were afraid of him.
"Of course not, I wouldn't be here if I was frightened." As you entered, Logan did nothing to stop you, only shutting the door once you were inside. "But it's troubling that you kept your emotions bottled up for this long and..it got to that point. What if you didn't explode on Remus? What if it was Patton or Thomas?"
"Well..if something like that were to happen-"
"It's hypothetical."
"...hm."
"You're not understanding what I'm saying." You huffed. "Repressing your emotions and letting them explode like a volcano isn't healthy for you."
"So I should just let them dictate my every thought and action?" Logan frowned slightly. "That would compromise the very essence of logic: being able to make rational decisions. It's still my duty as a core part of Thomas. You know I can't afford-"
"And you know you're more than just a part of Thomas. After that video you could've stayed with me longer..and I would've helped you find outlets for your anger. But you hid away here, going back to making stupidly strict schedules like nothing ever happened. When are you gonna realize you're hurting him, too? That you're hurting me?"
For a moment he was stunned by your words. He never considered how this would've hurt you, but...what could he say?
What could he do to remedy this?
"I think you could let out some more of that anger."
"Huh?" He blinked, surprised that you read his thoughts. "What do you suggest?"
"Well, maybe..we can go out into an open field and you can just shout your frustrations to the world and hope nobody hears?"
"........."
"I-It's stupid, I know but-"
"No, no..I understand." He cut in gently, sighing. "While screaming in an open field is usually reserved for dramatic films and is inappropriate in real life, it may serve as a good catharsis for unconscious conflicts. Granted you are somewhere open and completely undisturbed."
"Yeah! Though..it may take us a while to drive out somewhere and-"
"That won't be an issue. You do know you're in the Mindscape, right?"
"..ah, yeah..I forgot." You awkwardly chuckled, falling silent as Logan took your hands into his.
"Hold on."
In the blink of an eye, you two were teleported to another realm of the Mindscape: a wide open field at night. Countless stars and galaxies were in the sky, with the occasional comet soaring past. You noticed the observation tower in the distance and remembered this is where Logan studies astronomy.
All the Sides could make their own personal landscape if they desired to. But you were always impressed by how he made something like this, rather than a simple room like Patton and Virgil had.
Logan let your hands go and adjusted his glasses. "Now then, we'll see how this helps. The exercise of shouting into the..erm..." He seemed lost on the phrase, not having his flashcards on-hand.
"Shouting into the void?"
"Thank you." He smiled a bit before walking away, putting a great deal of distance between himself and you.
When he stopped, he stared up at the sky for some time. Then he gazed down at his hands, which trembled slightly as he began overthinking that video...and every frustration he's ever had.
All the things he tried to get Thomas to do or say..but were always ignored or mocked by the others.
He hated it..
Absolutely hated it.
It wasn't fair.
Meanwhile, you were just checking your phone, though you noticed that Logan hasn't done anything for a good minute or two. It made you worried that he was gonna back out of this and think it was a ridiculous idea.
'Maybe this wasn't a good-'
"AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
You nearly jumped out of your skin as Logan suddenly screamed, louder than ever before. It was truly raw and heartbreaking. But even afterwards he continued shout at nothing:
"I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE A VOICE TOO!! I JUST WANT TO BE HEARD AND FULFILL MY PURPOSE!! IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!!!"
Then he collapsed to his knees, clutching his head for a few moments before bringing both arms around himself. His heavy breathing eventually slowed by the time you approached him.
"Lo?"
You cautiously sat beside him in the grass, stunned by what you saw when he gazed over at you.
His eyes were glowing orange, tears brimming in the corners of them. Now that you could actually see them, they seemed animalistic in a way. But as he began calming down, the glow disappeared although the tears didn't as they streaked his face.
"W-Well..I..wow..." His voice was a bit hoarse as he took his glasses off, sniffling.
" Yeah..I know, love." You smiled sadly, setting a gentle hand on his back. "It's very cathartic, isn't it?"
#clanask#anonymous#sanders sides x reader#sanders sides imagine#logan sanders x reader#ts logan x reader#angst#hurt/comfort#wtit spoilers#logan sanders
176 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
lgchyuk
rich boy gone bad
rainyday-tuesday
for da kinnies
searrabbit
morgan
jovingho1117
Forever you are my star
spongek-squidge
SpongeK-Squidge