#look man im still excited but im sad and still gonna have to recover from the fact that Garnet’s not happening

[wrestlezon]

liveblog containment post for aew dynamite 5/25/22

my friend yelled at the cage match being the opening match and then doubleyelled at mjf's referee outfit. this dynamite is starting off strong (personally. i am looking forward to see ftr vs roppongi vice) whoa nice. handcuff fight? just for me? :)c are we gonna finally get our "breaking out of handcuffs" bit? if not now then when!! LMAO YES THERE IT IS YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! is it hard to see what goes on in a cagematch live? i wonder. i mean, i can barely tell whats happening in my microwave at any given time shawn spears is such a weirdo for chairs lmao. i love it when the guys are weird OH MY GOD there will be nothing left of the pinnacle by the end of this lmfao shawn spear's face. this rules ACTION BRYCE IS HERE short and sweet and extremely rewarding. lets fucking gooooo!!!!

oh! jas backstage segment! NOT THE POOR BACKSTAGE STAFF MOXLEY FAN!! JERICHO...!!! hes out of control. someone get the wizard council on him have a faction become the wizard council to do this. i have suggestions

oh! cm punk and hangman time! i cant wait to see how theyre gonna banter at each other and by banter i mean. you know. get worked up at each other heel punk... heel punk... alternatively: hangman page turns evil look if EITHER of these two have even the slightest fall from grace i will win. SUCCUMB TO THE DARKNESS!!!!! or not. either way would be riveting punk: this is not personal. but you should definitely take it personally. do it. i dare you. come on. please hangman: >:/ how is hangman gonna destroy punk at his own game... the game of Talk im SO excited to see how hangman is gonna pull this off you can't do it... kiss him hangman. kiss him PARAGON HANGMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OGUHGHUGH im-- HANGMAN!!! I LOVE U. REVEALING SECRET EVIL CM PUNK TO ME punk pulling the "you are just mad because you are angry" tactic. i love it. i love him EGO PUNK YESSSS IM GETTING IT ALL I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THESE ANGLES YESYSYYSYSYSYSSYYSSSS HES LITERALLY TROLLING GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS

omg ok im rewatching and-- did i literally blank out this jade vs anna jade promo. i was too drained after the hangman punk promo

oughhhh ok whats-- whats going on here what is the JAS up to. i dont know whats going on im still recovering from the punk/hangman bit OH ITS AN EDDIE MOXLEY TAG VS PRIVATE PARTY??? YAY!!!!!!! EDDIE MOXLEY TAG TEAM!!!!!!! aew going fucking ham on ppv week as usual. delicious its a good thing i'm going to watch this again with another friend later tonight because i. i dont have enough braincell for this EDDIE MOXLEY TAG MATCH (!!!) eddie: im going to take on 3 guys by myself i dont give a fuck regal: yeah im not getting up for this. theyre fine they can handle themselves

im not used to my media pandering to me directly. i dont know how to handle it. what IS this

oh boy! roppongi vice!!!! ...did he call him dick hardwood rocky puttin on da moves! hell yea trent and dax trading chops in the corner :)c yay hey man i know theyre not gonna get the tag belts im just here for a good match double knee!! tag team moves! yesss!! oh no the rollup-- the counter rollup!! whoa how did trent get lifted up so high so fast WHAT THE!!! ENEMY NJPW WRESTLERS HAVE APPEARED? all my favorite guys are being thrown through tables now! oh no! wait did they ring the belt to cancel the match i didnt even notice those guys seem cool... interested in seeing where this goes

i enjoy hearing the hardy boys ramble

oh!! its the swerve vs starks vs jungle match!! they should just take turns beating up jungle boy so he can have an arc being a sad weirdguy (i love sad weirdguys. cant get enough of them) ricky starks with the sick burn against audience member mr starks that is a lewd manuever. obscene my god he's tripling down LMAO good lord. he sticks the landing theyre just having a three way free for all right now this rules i like that little leg move swerve did to break that hold oooh jungle boy with the hold wait you can just combo a rope break into a drag and another hold? why doesnt everyone do this oh swerve gettin it swerve winnin it!!! oh boy are we gonna get a "big guy in the tag team" match now... for friday... lmao keith lee just pickin up swerve

OH NO DAN LAMBERT ALERT u_u well... at least he didnt say anything terrible this time

thunder rosa! whoa... rare paintless... i like her hat oh my. i hope thunder rosa wins because i do not want her to lose.

omfg. red velvet you are being SO evil right now. you used to be friends with stat... the betrayal... the severity in which you are throwing statlander under the bus... did some radioactive Evil Particles get into the water at the hirsch/velvet/statlander house or what i feel like all three of them have so severely succumbed to the darkness

toni storm vs britt baker!! whoa is the ref standing next to a mic he is so loud and clear SIGN DESTRUCTION love it when the chin is cradled like that. :)c hee hee what the whats all this i looked away for 1 second the ref is pulling gloves outta his pockets oh toni storm got a bloody nose :0 hayter distraction (friendly fire) GASP... rope cheatery.... please give me britt baker vs statlander. i want statlander to win even tho... i doubt they wouldve planned for that, since statlander was a fill-in replacement right

oh!! matches!! matt sydal is fighting on friday! cool look at all these moving graphics lol they went for it man this ppv is PACKED jr please stop calling things slobberknockers. please

ah the final match. samoa joe vs kyle o reilly in my heart of hearts i want samoa joe to win. but i feel they want to do the tag team infight angle... sigh... i guess that could be cool too. but i'd rather see samoa joe fight wait why is kyle oreilly covered in pepperonis. does he do that cupping thing personally i think the athletic tape looks cooler than having pepperonis. you can still do cupping or whatever i guess, im not a muscle expert. whatever makes you feel better. but consider the design applications of tape. there is so much opportunity though i think it would be funny if there was a guy really dedicated to cupping and was just an evil polka dot pepperoni man noooo not chekov's lead-pipe-damaged arm!!! oh that was a cool roll up eww spitty oh!!!!!!!!!!! joe won!??!?!?!?!!!!!! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!

oh lmao are people cyberbullying trent about that table bit

#talkzon

[thesaroinehero]

“I thought Sword and Shield-like Sinnoh remakes were happening??”

#look man im still excited but im sad and still gonna have to recover from the fact that Garnet’s not happening #pokemon #sword and shield #gen 8 #diamond and pearl #sinnoh #brilliant diamond and shining pearl #pokemon legends arceus #nintendo #game freak #steven universe #ruby #sapphire #garnet #video games

[sunaswife]

𝕻𝖗𝖔𝖌𝖗𝖆𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖉 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖍𝖎𝖒

Shigaraki X f! Reader

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, brainwashed/ programmed reader, implied kidnapping, Dom/sub, use of the word ‘pet’ and ‘master’, first time sex, uh..does this count as yandere..? Idk lol

🔪: this is like my second time writing smut so I’m sorry if it’s bad 🙇‍♀️ plz don’t spank me. N E Wayz I dedicate this fic to @aoi-turtle 🖤 and Any other shiggy whores out there

Edit: I FORGOT TO TAG @dinablossom and @toworuu IM SO SORRY BSVAKAGSJA

Summary: Imagine being programmed to be the leagues healer but also Shigaraki’s little cum bucket

♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎

“Master what is the meaning of this.” Shigaraki looked at the television screen as he scratched his neck. “I took her quirk and made it a thousand times better.” He said simply. “Tomura shigaraki where should I place her?” Kurogiri asked. “Anywhere. I don’t care. I just don’t understand why you brought a stupid hero here.” He said annoyed.

“Now now—“ “Shut up and put her somewhere out of my sight!” Tomura demanded and Kurogiri sighed and carried your body to the spare room by shigaraki’s private quarters. You looked dead, you were exhausted, traumatized, in shock.

You were frozen. Your eyes stayed open, unblinking as you stared at the ceiling. It looked as if you were dead. But your body is warm and you were breathing, you’re alive and you’ll recover quick. Thanks to the quirk All for One fixed for you.

Dabi smirked at your ruined form. Spinner hid his rosy cheeks, you were a cute one. Toga was excited to have another girl in the league she talked with Twice about all the fun things you two could do together. Whether it be painting your nails, doing your hair, torturing someone, or making them bleed. She was excited.

“What’s so good about her quirk that you needed it.” Shigaraki asked. “It’s come to my attention that the league has been missing an important puzzle piece.” He started off. “Yeah? What’s that?” The light blue haired man asked. He was beyond ticked off to have a hero here. “She’s not a hero. She was training under UA’s school nurse. But she fell into the hero course for recovery and first aid training.” He said and everyone stayed silent and patiently listened to the brain behind the league.

“Her quirk is pyrokinetic regeneration. She manipulates fire with the energy of the person who needs healing and together she heals with so called fire. Her quirk was small, only a few cuts a bruises here and there could she heal. But I added cell regeneration so she can even fix up deep wounds that could need surgery in a matter of days instead of months.”

“Sounds amazing! No she could use her fire against us!” Twice said and Toga nodded. “She won’t. Her fire doesn’t burn unless you’re hurt.” Kurogiri returned. “But she’s still a hero brat so wouldn’t she try to resist?” Dabi asked. “I don’t know but let me try and see!” Toga giggled and pulled out a knife she easily slit her wrist and skipped her way to your new room.

Out of curiosity the other members followed suit. Shigaraki first, he wanted to see if you were truly useful if not then he’d disintegrate you right here and now. “Hi hi new friend! My name is Toga!” The psychotic girl giggle as her blood dripped all over the floor. You looked up slowly from your spot on the bed. “H-hi...T-toga..” your voice was low. “Kurogiri Can you bring her some water?” Toga asked and he left and came back in the blink of an eye.

Your hands were shaking for the cup of water but Toga held it back, away from you. “If you want the water then heal my wrist first.” She said sweetly with a giggle. “Heal your wrist?” You whispered and she nodded. “O-okay..” you stuttered and you slowly removed the blanket from your lap. You stood up with wobbly legs to go to the girl but you fell. The chain on your ankle pulled you back. You winced and looked at her, pleading for her to come to you. She asked if you were okay and when you responded she shoved her bloody arm to your face. “Take a deep breath. This may sting...” you started and a small green flame came upon your hand. You rubbed the flame over both of your hands like you were putting on lotion, finally when the flames covered both hands you pressed hard on her wrist. She winced, “ow ow ow.” She whimpered, you removed your hands and everyone stared at the flame around her whole wrist. “Give it thirty seconds....or not...” you said as you stared wide eyed at her already healed cut. It was barley a touch and it’s gone now. “Wow. No scar!” She giggled and turned to show the guys. “Wow stab me next, please don’t or else I’ll bite ya!” Twice said and you reached for the water. “Interesting.” Shigaraki mumbled with a small squint. Kurogiri looked over and hoped he wouldn’t do anything bad to you.

“Shows over. She needs her rest.” Kurogiri said and everyone left one by one. Toga gave her a hug and wished for you both to be the best of friends and she skipped away. “Tomura Shigaraki. What are you thinking?” Kurogiri asked as Shigaraki began to walk into your room. “Nothing that concerns you.” He spat and slammed the door. Kurogiri sighed but returned to the bar nonetheless.

“Do you know who I am?” Shigaraki asked, “Yes you’re the leader of the league of villains, You’re name is Tomura Shigaraki and your quirk is decay—“ “that’s enough!” He raised his voice and looked at you with wide eyes.

You looked so sad and you glanced down at your cup. “Mr. shigaraki I know I don’t usually talk this much. I’ve always been the quiet type. I think whoever kidnapped me gave me a huge sense of knowledge. I know the league is bad but I don’t care about the heroes anymore and I don’t know why. I know everything about you guys, your true identity, your quirks, your past. And when I see you I—“ you quickly stopped yourself.

Shigaraki raised a brow. “You what?” He asked curiously. “N-nothing. Just forget it.” You answered and he growled. “Answer me now before I kill you.” He said and your legs subconsciously clenched together. You stayed quiet and your chest rose and fell a little more quickly. Why was this feeling in your chest when this killer, this man child looked at you? What exactly did the man he calls master do to you?

Before you knew it he gripped your chin and lifted it harshly so you could look at his wrinkly red eyes. Even though he looks like a bum he smelled nice and clean. A hand was covering his face and you slowly lifted your hand to touch it and his other hand grabbed your wrist. “What the fuck are you doing? Do you have a death wish you fucking idiot?” He growled and you gulped. “C-can i see your face?” You asked and he tilted his head confused.

“No. Answer my question-“ before you both knew it, as if your body had a mind of its own you tackled shigaraki down and you snatched the hand off his face. His hand quickly wrapped around your neck and arm and you pressed your lips against his. He halted his finger from pressing against your neck. He was beyond confused.

“If only tomura finished listening to what i had to say.” All for one chuckled loudly. You both were able to faintly hear the television from down the hall. “He would know that I managed to change y/N’s desires and whole way of thinking. She’s now with the league of Villains and she’s in love with its leader, Tomura Shigaraki. Consider it a present and motivation for the future of the league.” You both heard and you pulled away from him. “I’m sorry. I should have asked.” You said lowly. He stood there stunned and silent.

He slowly sat up and looked at your figure. “So you were brainwashed like my Nomu.” He hummed and took a few steps back. He noticed how you crawled closer to him but the chain was keeping you away.

“Who do you love?”

“You.”

“Who do you belong to?”

“You.”

“Who’s your master?”

“Tomura Shigaraki.”

You said and he smirked. He was gonna have fun with you. “At least master was kind enough to give me a beauty.” He said as he held on to the chains. “Don’t freak out.” He warned and you nodded. He disintegrated the chain around your ankle and he pulled you by the arm. You were wearing an ugly hospital gown and you were barefoot. You couldn’t help but shiver. He went next door to his room and he shoved you in and slammed the door. You nearly tripped over the mess and you turned to look at shiggy. “Why are you just standing there?” He asked, “You haven’t given me orders.” You deadpanned. “You can’t think for yourself?” He questioned. “No i can but I Don’t want to upset you.” You replied.

“Fine then clean this shit up.” He referred to his very very messy room. You nodded and began to lift up a piece of trash but he pulled you away. “Change first.” He said and handed you a black hoodie. “Do you have a bathroom?” You asked. “No change here.” He said and you nodded. You turned so your back was facing him and carefully began to take off the gown, leaving you completely bare and Shigaraki couldn’t help but look.

Your skin was so beautiful and looked so soft. He saw as you carefully put on his hoodie and it completely engulfed you. It reached to your mid thigh. You slowly turned to look at him with rosy cheeks. The hoodie smelled just like him. “Tomura—“ “It’s master to you.” He Interrupted and you nodded, subconsciously squeezing your thighs together once more. “Sorry...m-master.” You said and played with the hem of his hoodie.

“Master..can I have some underwear too...? I feel weird, when I’m bare underneath..” you asked. “No, continue cleaning my room.” He answered coldly and sat on his gaming chair. He turned on his console and began playing whatever game he had.

You sighed and you couldn’t help but admire his gorgeous yet scarred face and his beautiful long fingers. In an instant he can kill you, but if you’re good..then he might even reward you. If you were to die, I’d rather be in the hands of your master than anyone else.

You quickly began you pick up the instant ramen bowls and bags of chips. You separated recycling and trash. You even managed to pick up all his dirty clothes and put it in the hamper in less than an hour. Tomura was stunned, one minute he can barley walk in, the next It’s almost spotless. He saw you from the corner of his eye, you were folding his clothes that practically had the same color scheme.

“Can i go through your drawers to put your clothes away..?” You finally spoke up. “Yeah it’s whatever. I don’t care.” He mumbled and returned to the screen. “Ugh stupid game!” He huffed and began pressing the controller more furiously. You chuckled and thought that it was so cute and adorable when he was frustrated.

You went to his California king sized bed and began to fix the sheets and make his bed. Since it was so huge, you had to climb on to properly fix it. You were completely in your own world when Shigaraki turned and saw your wet cunt on display in all it’s glory. Ever since he saw you he couldn’t help but feel that urge to take you. His resistance was getting to him and now he wanted to give in to his urges even more. He was too distracted that he lost the fucking game and he growled and disintegrated the controller. That was his own form of rage quitting.

You heard his sound of frustration so when you turned you expected him to be in the same chair uttering bullshit, but you were shocked when you felt your hips being pulled back. Your cunt was touching his pants, but you can feel his bulge. “Um..master..I—“

“Shut up.” He said and reached for your neck. He pulled you back to him and wrapped his other arm around your waist, hovering your aching clit. “This is whats gonna happen.” He started off and you nodded. “I’m going to fuck you. And you’re going to like it. Okay?”

“I understand.” You said softly, you felt his hands slowly lift up the hoodie just a bit to get a better view of your ass. You couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed. “I know I’m probably not your dream girl but I promise to be a good girl, master..” your voice shook. He tilted his head, were you getting insecure?

“No pet, you’re perfect to me.” He assured and you could hear his belt jingle as he took it off. “You seem pretty wet already, pet. Since how long have you been like this?” He asked as he got out of his jeans. He slowly open your cheeks to reveal your little pussy clenching around nothing, how cute. “Since I saw you..” you mumbled. He smirked and leaned down. He immediately began to eat out your cunt causing you to gasp in shock and grip the sheets. Your chest layed roughly against the bed as your ass stood proud in the air for the leader of the league of villains to enjoy.

“Fuck—“ you moaned and you felt a slap on your ass. You slightly jumped released a small yelp. “Watch your language.” He growled from your pussy. “Yes master.” You whimpered and he slowly began to rub his thumb on your other hole. Your small moans filled the room and he easily slipped his middle finger in you. You squeezed around him so deliciously, he couldn’t help but wished his cock was inside.

This has never happened to him before, this feeling in his chest. Someone that loves him and will obey his every command. You’re so beautiful as well, and your sounds. Your moans and whimpers, in all honesty he jut wanted to get himself off. But after hearing you and seeing you. He wants to make sure you have pleasure as well.

He continued pumping his finger in and out of your slick walls and your voice started getting slightly higher. “Master...I—I’m gonna cum...”you panted and your toes began to curl. “It’s okay, cum for me, pet. You’ve been a good girl.” He said softly and he felt you clench around his finger. When you came he slowly removed his finger and examined it. You must be new to is if you could get off with just one of his long fingers.

You layed on the bed a bit tired, not paying attention to your master who had tasted your cum on his finger. It was delicious and he wanted another taste. When you felt a lick on your cunt again you immediately shivered and clenched your thighs. “Hold still I just wanna taste some cum.” Shigaraki huffed and he pulled your thighs apart. You were pretty sensitive but you obeyed nonetheless.

You moans began to fill the room once more and before you could finish and cum again he pulled away. You automatically whimpered and turned to give your master puppy dog eyes. “I would let you cum again, but my cock is so fucking hard I don’t think I can wait another minute.” he said and began to pull down his boxers.

Before you could get back in position, which freaking hurt, he flipped you over on your back and you made a small oof noise. You looked up to See shigaraki focused on his cock, he was rubbing himself up and down your slit to use your cum as lube. “Alright I’m going in.” He announced and slowly pushed his rather large member inside your tint cunt. You immediately yelped and held on to his biceps. “M-master wait—it hurts..” you pleaded and Tomura finally looked up at your face.

He loves inflicting pain, he loves watching people’s painful expressions when they’re hurt or when they’re gonna die. Chisaki’s face was so amusing. But when he saw yours, his heart shattered and he didn’t want to hurt you at all. You’ve been nothing but good to him, he doesn’t want to hurt his little toy. “I’m sorry.” He apologized, “it’s okay..” you sniffled. After a minute of him being patient you gave him a nod and he continued to slowly bottom out.

You both released a moan when he was all the way in. You both have never felt anything like this before. “Can I start moving?” Shigaraki asked you as he brushed way the hair from your face. You nodded and he pulled almost all the way out and he slammed back in. Your little gasps and moans came back which made shigaraki feel at ease. You can clearly hear your slick with every thrust and it was music to his ears.

“I’ve been neglecting these.” He grunted and lifted his hoodie over your chest. Finally he was able to see your beautiful soft breasts bouncing with each thrust. “Fuck you’re so beautiful.” He moaned and immediately lowered his mouth to one of your nipples. You squealed and your back arched and he pushed you down. “Master...” you moaned softly. His tongue swirled around your hardened bud and your fingers tangled in his light blue hair. Two of his fingers pinched your other nipple and he lightly bit the nipple in his mouth.

“I think I-I’m close—“ you gasped and he removed his mouth. His thrusts decreased in speed but they became harder. He had a stupid smirk on his face and your eyes widened when he wrapped his hand around your throat. “Hold it until I say so.” He demanded and you muttered a weak yes. He felt how your gummy walls squeezed against his large dick, he was getting close too. “Fuck Fuck Fuck.” He groaned with his head tilted back and your mouth watered at the sight. Why is he so fucking handsome?

He could feel himself getting closer to his climax so he rubbed his thumb on you clit while increasing his pace once more, causing you to be even louder than before. Everyone in the bar could hear and a certain fire villian grumbled in annoyance. “Master I can’t hold it anymore!” You screamed. “Then cum my stupid little pet. Cum all over my cock like a good girl.” He grunted and bit his lip at the sight of your sweaty body. Your bouncing breasts, crazy hair, your adorable ahego face, your twitching legs and finally your grip on his biceps. You were so prefect and so good to him and only him.

When you came you felt his cum shoot inside you as well causing you to gasp at the delicious feeling. Tomura rested his head on your shoulder and tried catching his breath. You couldn’t help but smile and blush at the closeness. You slowly wrapped your arms around him and you gave his shoulder a kiss causing him to freeze. “I love you master, thank you for making me feel good.” You said softly. He chuckled and pulled you closer, “I love you too.”

I wanna write a part 2 of Shiggy finding out his little toy is being used by a certain fire boy 👀

#tomura shigaraki #shigaraki smut #league of villains #my hero academia #yandere shigaraki #smut #[🏌️‍♀️🔪.yandere]

[godblessthecactusess]

hola - welcome to another reaction post

Agents of SHIELD - s7ep11: Brand New Day (WARNING – SPOILERS (obviously))

-          So straight off the bat, reading the tagline, looks fun - “(in order to win against Sibyl/Nathaniel) they’ll have to get creative, and maybe even a little out of this world.” Intriguing. Looks like we could be in for some fun stuff this episode, but I’m really wondering how we’re going to turn this all around in just three episodes (counting the finale as two), so I’m guessing there’s gonna be a big thing to happen that’s gonna end it all. Like, someone’s gonna die, I’m just gonna say it, it’s gotta happen?

-          Also, because I can’t restrain myself, I have been on Tumblr and Twitter today, and I haven’t actively stopped to read what I’ve seen, but because I am rubbish at avoiding it, I have figured out that we’ve got some flashbacks this episode, which appear to have Fitz in them??? I bloody hope so gosh.

-          Right, I’m gonna start it. Deep breaths.

-          Recap, okay.

-          RIP Jiaying.

-          Deke is so oblivious but I still love him and wish that Daisy and Deke had been a thing.

-          Daisy’s been crying nooo

-          So they lost the Zephyr. (And what’s left of the Fitzsimmons fam)

-          They went to space??

-          Daisy’s gonna fight this bitch. (I know I’ve seen it already in clips but still).

-          I’m discovering it’s really hard  to type and pay attention.

-          “I wanna be an agent of SHIELD” 1. I mean, that’s the show but 2. She says with the face of “but like actually don’t trust me look at my evil grin mwhahahaha”

-          Space woowww

-          How do all these randos know how to fly the Zephyr??

-          Did Deke just make a Die Hard reference? (rhetorical, yes he did); I mean I haven’t seen the entirety of Die Hard, but I watched bits last Christmas and I’ve also watched enough B99.

-          …Motherfucker. (again actually something I learned from B99, not Die Hard)

-          Aw Mackelena babysitting

-          Proof?

-          Oh so the team’s finally learning what we learned about time in Endgame.

-          “A Brand New Day” got it

-          Bro I was gonna say that (about it’s basically Project Insight) but he said it better cos he’s Coulson and he’s cooler.

-          “My sister” look at these two

-          Ha lies I bet she’s fucking lying

-          “Sibyl said” the new version of Simon Says

-          Hold up did she just give her the keys?

-          DON’T MAKE ME WATCH THIS AGAIN

-          IT’S A FITZSIMMONS BEST BITS

-          And I’m going to cry

-          DON’T hit my BABY

-          Elizabeth’s eyebrows are to die for

-          WHAT DID THEY DO TO DEKE NO

-          Where’s she going huh

-          Look Sousa put suspenders on

-          Are they his battle suspenders

-          Cos that’s the cutest thing ever

-          I love him

-          “I ALREADY HAVE A SISTER TO SAVE HER NAME IS JEMMA SIMMONS” OMG

-          Science Daisy

-          So she’s really never flown a quinjet huh

-          “It’s your last chance to stay behind” *assertively puts on seatbelt”

-          That moment when you don’t know if it’s a cut to the next scene or Mack’s caught them

-          No wait he’s got his shotgun axe. Bitch ready to go yes.

-          Oh wait he’s telling her off.

-          No he’s agreeing.

-          Omg yes Mack

-          Where does all that water go – I’m assuming there’s a drainage system?

-          So they left Mum and Dad behind rip

-          Is Kora just in the background reading a book.

-          Protective Nana Jemma

-          Nate you never cared about ‘your old man’.

-          Sousa just leaves his seat

       It’s a nice parallel to Goose in Captain Marvel

-          They have an auto-grav setting? But like, the quinjet isn’t made for space.

-          Daisy, ever the optimistic.

-          Mmmmmmspace

-          Oooof pulling the Bahrain card.

-          If May hadn’t done it, she wouldn’t have had a cool backstory, so put that in your pipe and smoke it Kora

-          Mmmmmcreepy messages through a virus in 1980s aesthetic. What a…. well… aesthetic.

-          Sassy Coulson back at it again.

-          I mean you are a fucking robot can’t you just plug yourself in or some shit; I’M NOT VERY SCIENCY OKAY

-          Oh great another “last mission” convo

-          Sounds like you will.

-          Thanks I’m crying

-          Oh wait he doesn’t remember the kiss I forgot that, shit.

-          Can’t just break a fucking window Nate, you’re gonna have to pay for that. Like literally with your own money, please and thanks, I don’t think the team brought any money with them.

-          Ooh love a good Coulson talk.

-          Honestly where would the team be without May? Dead, I think.

-          Burnt toast.

-          Did she just say Grant Ward.

-          Yes she did.

-          Ward would have been worse without Garrett? Uh I think not, not if someone had just called Child Services, and gotten him some fucking therapy.

-          “What are your intentions with Daisy?” Dad Mack coming through, “no funny business” and all that.

-          “I don’t have any intentions.” WHAT A LIE DANIEL HAHAHAHAHA YOU CRADLED HER HEAD ON YOUR LAP WHEN SHE WAS INJURED, YOU CARRIED HER BRIDAL STYLE OUT OF THAT BARN, YOU WERE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEAVE THIS WHOLE MESS, BUT LOOKED RIGHT AT A SLEEPING, RECOVERING DAISY AND SAID “IM RIGHT WHERE I NEED TO BE”, YOU SAT AND NAPPED IN A CHAIR BY HER BEDSIDE THE ENTIRE TIME, YOU DIDN’T SAY NO WHEN SHE KISSED YOU, SO EXCUSE ME MISTER “NO INTENTIONS” BUT I THINK YOU MIGHT BE WRONG

-          “Well then you better get some” omg we stan mack even though his voice is so deep I often miss what he says

-          “omg shes like so into you gurl” is basically what I just heard. (picture 2000s american teenage girl, phone pressed to ear, chewing gum really loudly etc.)

-          “sir” HES SO POLITE

-          I’m loving this chat and its so true, every single one of them would massacre Sousa if he hurt Daisy.

-          “just like a damn comic book” ahaha haha…. ha. yep.

-          But I do love a good comic book joke in the show.

-          Wasn’t it in like s4, and Coulson said something about Daisy being Director and she was like “ha yeah maybe in the comic book version”? idk man im rewatching SHIELD because I have the worst memory but that was funny too

-          These two’s eyebrows in this scene god.

-          Honestly if you get the chance to rewatch this scene just watch Mack and Sousa’s eyebrows as they turn to look at each other it’s adorable.

-          Alright Sousa no need to be so mean I think it’s a great name.

-          These two giggling together omg the one things I didn’t know I needed.

-          19th century definitely was.

-          FINALLY SOME NEW FITZ AT LAST

-          “can you give us a moment” “yes” “…..oh”

-          What are you suggesting fitz my darling

-          …sooooooooooo….

-          Some time to have a kid maybe.. idk… grow old together…

-          What bloodwork? Did I miss a thing?

-          Snuggling Fitzsimmons ahhhhh

-          I didn’t think Kora would be so sad omg. Now I feel bad for her shit it wasn’t meant to be this way, I-

-          Fitz looks so different omg

-          Omg Fitz grabbing onto her and hugging im soft omg what a beautiful trope

-          WHO’S FITZ WTF OMG NO FUCK SHIT CRAP AHHHHHHHH

-          A kickass fight scene nice

-          Uh oh

-          Nice one May

-          “Sunshine” what an asshole

-          They’re gonna decimate everything wtf

-          Wasn’t there all those ships in the trailer

-          “quake”

-          Look at these cuties

-          Thanos could turn you to dust too.

-          SORRY too soon

-          Uhhhhhhhhhh what the fuck is happening

-          They’re just wiping out shield

-          Rip the Triskelion

-          DON’T YOU TOUCH HER LIKE THAT oh look now I’m being protective wtf is happening to me

-          Urgh absolutely disgusting

-          Well shit

  Uhhhhhhh so this is problematic. I mean, by all accounts, they could just leave this timeline and go back to the OG one. I mean, there’s a canon timeline where Steve learns early that Bucky is alive, Loki has the Tesseract and Steve just told a elevator full of Hydra agents “Hail Hydra” (so a highly chaotic timeline, that the avengers just left) so they could just leave but like, that’s unethical, i guess???? Oh well.

  Let’s go have a look at the new trailer for the FINALE!! ARGH omg its all ending and I’m sad

  WELL im going to cry aren’t I? ffs

Daisy’s accepting that this is their last mission.

“This is what we were fighting for.” Which issss….? 

It really is the end, huh.

The finale will make me cry. There’s not many SHIELD episodes that have made me do that. I think the one that made me cry the most was the spy’s goodbye. And I seem to remember crying when Fitzsimmons were at the bottom of the ocean,  and then laughing through my sobs bc the shot of Fury coming down from the helicopter, arm outstretched like Jesus was the most hilarious thing I had ever seen; but other than that? Not many. 

I’m excited and terrified at the same time. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. HELP.

#agents of shield #aos #Phil Coulson #melinda may #Daisy Johnson #Mack #yo yo rodriguez #jemma simmons #leo fitz #fitzsimmons #marvel #MCU #tv #finale #The Final Mission #help

[rqs902]

.

a lin ran feature :’) i respect hes self-aware about his need to be more than cute to succeed. lin ran has always given me a vibe that hes very serious and tough on himself. he looks soft but has high demands and seems very determined to get what he wants.

im not worried about li hao bc hes surrounded by a bunch of kids who can teach him how to dance LOL not just lin ran but like jin fan and tianci too

what is this pole and could they not move it LOL

lol so jin fan and tianci did a flippy trick and we just gonna pretend like it didnt happen lol okay 

ugh so jin fan kinda got to do more dancing than other stages but i was still hoping itd be more!!! but man lin ran is really killing with his stage presence here

leave it to ycw to speak loudly and vocally about his friends being injured so people recognize their suffering

LOL lin ran’s sassy “im not stupid!!” but yea the third stage was really rough for him, so im glad he was able to recover 

LOL lin ran again casually threatening the production team to be like “please edit this stage well” “please don’t cut our segment short” LOL 

lol yea im not surprised at this point that li hao won even tho it shouldve been lin ran. youku is def making these rankings up. lol gjm did you even look at lin ran’s facial expressions???? lol making up excuses for youku wat

lin mo praising lin ran and giving him encouragement like a true bro bc he knows how hard lin ran worked for this stage. i wonder if he designed the stage rigging

AY I RESPECT OSCAR. hes a good kid and someone whos willing to speak his mind to address problems, thats awesome. they need someone to do that. he’s direct with the problems but also directly follows by complimenting them and saying how great they could be if they pulled through LOL hes still a kid so hes trying not to offend them but i respect his courage, warmth and dependability. 

LOL XUE EN DESTROYED FRANKLIN HAHAHAHAHAHHA and he goes all cutesy after like he has no idea the power he holds LOL but im glad they showed some footage of xue en also teaching the other kids dance. cto skills whooo 

ycw still bringing up shiwei? hes either very caught up in his feelings still (which is probably not a good thing at this point) or hes just a really dedicated friend... or youku is just purposefully using shiwei’s elimination for dramatic effect. 

im surprised they didnt highlight cxh more bc youku seems to like him, and conversely they gave xzx a ton of time for his stage and let xzx win. 

XUE EN IS SO HANDSOME 

okay i just needed to get that out of my system

but also im kinda glad syh is in this group bc hes the only one who i will not laugh at when singing this song. ycw and oscar talking about drinks and whiskey??? yall are babies?? also this song does NOT match this dance well at all. i see why they didnt like it when they previewed it LOL also i see now why i saw an edit on twitter of this dance over “retreat” from qcyn bc that song actually FIT the tie pulling move.. versus this im just like ??? seems so out of place?? 

also their voices all sound weird :\ maybe its just too high of a register for ycw and cxh? or maybe theyre just not very good at singing....? lol 

giving xue en the only multi colored tie? THEY KNEW. 

im just happy that the party group was able to make their stage so well that other kids were regretting not choosing them bc ycw was really struggling to get people to join him...

LOL CSP BEING SILLY TO ZHAN YU THIS IS THE FRIENDSHIP I NEED

LOL XZX AND LIN MO are adorable together 

im glad that they spent time to say zhaohao has improved, i feel like hes gotten zero recognition so far. i feel like ycw winning is the only win i am willing to believe so far. (couldve been xue en too tho) 

A FEATURE ON XIKAN’S FRIENDSHIP WITH LUO ZHENG omggggggggggggggg luo zheng the sweetest ge, leaving all the good things for xikan whatt ugh but luo zheng is like literally going actor route so sad that he still wants to be on stage but has no opportunities. im grateful theyre still so close that xikan starts crying just thinking about him 

xikan being involved in the stage design and costuming and all makes me think of lin ran but also makes me think of cai xukun. cxk always gets so involved in every little detail to seek perfection

interesting that they focused it all on zry and lxk........ but at least highlighted xikan’s fun side

lol they purposefully cut in fan yu screaming zry’s name and ycw yelling cyc.... 

but also tbh xikan’s voice was not very strong during his high note and i know hes giving 110% into his dancing so im guessing he doesnt have much air left at that point but i was kinda disappointed it couldve been better. BUT he still did a good job. i thought the part where they ripped off his jacket couldve been more impactful? but it felt like it was just randomly in the middle of the rap break and he doesnt sing again until much later so it was like why did you change clothes there? 

tbh this song isnt that exciting? so im surprised that they wanted it that badly? 

i saw spoilers that fan yu was gonna be there and its adorable and i love their friendship but lol zuo ye being like i shouldve asked all my gege’s to come.... lol aka they know its kinda unfair for fan yu to be winning votes for zry

im grateful all the trainees are supportive of xikan and they purposefully showed a bunch of popular kids cheering for xikan

gosh that injury on his nose, you know hes put too much energy and is too invested into his dance part when he rips his own face like that :\ 

i saw spoilers that renyu would win and someone did the math that it makes zero sense for their group’s score to be that low, but i didnt expect their score to be THAT low.... goodness wtf thats definitely rigged, i see why people were mad. 

renyu winning is either entirely rigged bc youku wants him to debut or people are really just voting for him bc fan yu was there and that’s not fair either. i love renyu (and his friendship with fan yu) but there’s no way renyu actually won that many votes on a stage where he didnt really show his vocals that much and he messed up his dancing and he was surrounded by kids who danced much better and wouldve made him look not great. this makes zero sense. and the fact that ycw is the only winner that made sense is probably bc youku was like well we cant make it too obvious that its all a joke. but really, its all a joke. 

yes i love that renyu worked hard and stayed up all night but can we talk about how xikan does that for every stage? and renyu’s just now started to do so. renyu just came into this competition less prepared, so his improvement is easier to see. 

i still think if youku wants to debut renyu, theyll kick out lin ran from top 7, but can we talk about how lin ran put in all the effort to design and perfect his stage? how he teaches others to dance and pushes his group mates to shine as a leader and how he has truly one of the most memorable and formidable stage presences on this whole show? people say the debuting group will need renyu’s voice but how can you really say that renyu fits and is prepared and deserves to debut more than lin ran? 

renyu is adorable and talented but let’s be real, as a vocalist, hes not like you zhangjing, hes not like zhao lei, hes not like zhao pinlin, hes not proven that he really fits to be a main vocal in a boy band. youku cannot force us into believing that he can fit that role without any evidence to prove his worth. its like theyre trying to jam someone into that role and its like renyu’s their closest bet, but even tho he still doesnt quite fit, theyre just gonna shove him in anyway. this is what happens when you only give attention to people who are dancers and dont give actual attention to people who are actually boy band main vocal material.... /COUGH ZHAN YU or even cui shaopeng?? 

how can you possibly believe that renyu got 173 but their average was 134? none of xikan’s groups numbers make sense: 

how did shengen suddenly drop so much? youku has been touting him this whole time into the top 10. shouldnt more of xikan’s fans voted for xuyu? bc he literally begged during the last elim for xuyu to make it this far. xuyu wasnt even dead last in the elim ranking but here he gets last place by like 15 votes??? when everyone else’s vote difference is like half of that at max? 

you expect me to believe lin ran only got 127 after he literally descended from the ceiling as an angel? that doesnt attract attention? how are both zuo ye and hu wenxuan so low? wenxuan was literally center and had bright pink hair, and in a song style that suited him, you cant tell me he didnt shine on this stage. xikan tied with xzx???? beneath a kou cong and su xunlun tie??? no way 

theres one week left and youku’s getting desperate to make it look like whatever they’re going to make happen will be a natural result, that this competition is up in the air and no one is safe, but it just seems very questionable to me. 

sooo does this mean there arent gonna be elims before the finals or what, we just dont see them announce who gets to perform? im assuming not all 32 kids will take part? and theres not gonna be a mentor collab stage? it wouldve been cool to see han yu and cheng xiao with the kids. there were 3 stages between the first and second elimination but no third elim and no mentor stage? its a mad rush to the end, honestly. 

oh well, we still love these CHILDREN 

ps: if youve been following my rants, i honestly feel like i have had a really positive impression of zheng renyu from the start and i really do like him. he makes really good songs and his voice is very nice and his friendships are pure and his attitude is commendable. 凄美地 and 當帷幕落下 and 後來的我們 are some of my favorite favorite songs to listen to from this entire show, like probably 3 of my top 5, and a good deal of that is because of renyu and his voice. but im just trying to be realistic and renyu is not in my ideal debuting boy band. 

#rants #you would think that with the money and fans that kids like lxk hwx lm are bringing to youku that youku would treat them better

[peacefiresky-archive]

an interview with a dragonborn

(featuring @skyrimlesbian‘s syrabane! armel’s backstory, Straight From Her Very Talkative Mouth)

“So your name isn’t Armel?” Syrabane was seated opposite of her in the nearly-empty tavern. 

“Arthmaël’s my full and legal first name,” Armel said, “It’s a traditional thing, a sort of… a compromise between my mothers. Armel is the Breton version, and Arthmaël is how it’s spelled in the Nord way.”

“I didn’t know you were half Nord!”

“I’m not - not really, at least. But when my father —” Armel paused for a moment, her head bowing slightly, “ — when my father was killed alongside the rest of the Blades, a kind Nord woman agreed to help my mother through her pregnancy. So, I was raised with Nord traditions, which is why I still honor Ysmir and Sheor, so-on-and-so-forth.”

“Do you worship Talos?”

Armel flashed a cheeky grin. “No. Not really. Hjalti Early-Beard was a damn tyrant. But the woman who raised me did, and I say I do just to piss off the Thalmor.”

“Speaking of your parents… you mentioned you grew up as an orphan in Bruma. Your father was a Blade; but what of your mother?”

“Lady Saga was a Nord noble from Skyrim and a... close friend of my mother’s after my father’s death. After the Great War, she helped raise me, even moving in with my mother and I. I was young, keep in mind - I never knew my father. He died a month or so before I was born. Lady Saga was the only second parent I knew.” A sad smile formed on Armel’s face. “She worshipped Talos. Very devout. When the Thalmor found out, though, my mother and I were condemned by association. My mother saved me by hiding me in the Chapel of Saint Martin’s undercroft. I haven’t… seen them since. But I know they didn’t…”

Syrabane nodded, pausing for a moment. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Don’t see how it’s your fault.” Armel nudged her a bit. “I think that’s why I manage to get along with Rindolin, though. We both lost our folks to the Thalmor.”

Syrabane gave a small smile. “Perhaps that’s why. After your mothers… passed, what did you do?”

“I was around eight. I spent most of my time in St. Martin’s or on the streets. That’s where I met Badbr and Xun.”

“Ah! That’s where you two know each other from!”

“Aye! We were thick as thieves, we were!” Armel leaned forward in her seat a bit, growing excited. “Badbr and I always sat and fought with sticks in the chapel, and Xun would always watch and cheer us on. I loved tellin’ ‘im stories, too, see — Sheor’s bones, I loved that kid. Scrawny little thing, you’d think he’s a green Breton. Gentle as Mara’s rain and twice as kind! 

“And Badbr — oh, she was fierce, had this fire that wouldn’t go out, even in Bruma’s snow! But they decided to go north, see, find a better life in Skyrim in an Orc stronghold. I missed them when they were gone, but I was… I was glad for ‘em. ‘Course I was. They were my best friends, and I wanted them to be happy and safe. I hope he’s happy now - Xun, I mean. On the other side.”

Armel sat back, her face becoming more solemn. “I, uh, I was noticed by this man after they left. A spell-knight. Said his name was Ivan - real big Nord. Had this lovely, beautiful lass as his wife - but she could just as easily knock him and anyone to the ground like the winds of Kyne. They couldn’t have children, since they had met past the good age for child rearin’. See, I was always pretty good at magic and decent at fighting. He had the idea that he could take me in, train me as his heir. I was made into an official member of the Order of Spell-Knights.” Mel smiled a bit. “But I was prideful. Arrogant, even. Always have been. I blame it on the Dragonblood now, and with Paarthurnax and you to keep me right, I’m doin’ okay. I can manage my… my undue anger. But back then, anyone could tell I wasn’t quite… right, and no one quite knew how to calm down a Dragon.”

Armel shifted, diving back into her story, “I scared folks half to death by climbing onto the peaks of the roofs and jumping off. I had the habit of collecting books, of all things - I had tonnes of them. Most of ‘em I never even read. I was always quick to fight, and I didn’t know how to back down when I needed to. After a fellow knight - Timothe - discovered a, uh… a private matter of mine, tensions were high between us. It all exploded in a brawl after we both had a few too many drinks.” Armel reached up and tucked her hair behind her left ear. “I lost half my ear in the fight, and got this scar here,” her fingers traced the arched scar on the left side of her face, “and got expelled from the Order.”

“That’s when you decided to come into Skyrim, yes?”

“Aye. Had the fancy that I’d recover some lost artifacts of the Order and restore my status. And I did!” Armel gestured to her armor, “But, ah, not before I got roped into the whole… Alduin business.”

“You were with us when it occurred, right?”

“Mostly. I’d just killed my first Dragon when we met in Ivarstead.” Mel scrunched her nose, a bit playfully. “That’s why I was so touch-and-go back then. Balancing saving the world and mercenary work. Then you saw me absorb a Dragon’s soul, and… well, you found out, and I figured, ‘I’m gettin’ ready to go fight the Harbinger of the End Times, I’d better tell my fuckin’ friends in case I lose and everything goes to shit!’ So, I did. And I brought Badbr to meet Paarthurnax, and I went to grab an Elder Scroll, and I went to Sovngarde, and —”

“You went to Sovngarde?”

“Aye.”

Syrabane blinked. “So, that… wasn’t a bard’s tale. You fought Alduin in Sovngarde.”

Armel grinned. “Aye. Didn’t you hear the battle?”

“I’m fairly sure everyone heard! But I didn’t know that you went into a different plane!”

“I brought back a flower!”

“You what?”

“I’m gonna propose to Badbr with it. Some day! Not - not right now, but some day, I hope. The flower never wilts, but it looks like a normal mountain flower… I have it safe in my pack right now.”

“Ah.” Syrabane smiled a bit, jotting something down in her journal. “Well… I believe that’s mostly everything. Thank you for your sharing your story.”

“Thanks for lettin’ me.” Armel grinned. “We still got plenty of adventures to go on. Maybe once we’re done and old, you could write a book.”

“No one would believe it.” 

“So what? It’d be one hell of a good read, I think. You could title it something cool! A Ragtag Team of Traumatized Adventurers Try to Save the World and Somehow Succeed or somethin’.”

Syrabane laughed lightly. “Maybe one day. We’ll see.”

#ch: armel the disgraced #ch: syrabane

[tumblunni]

More thinking about the story big sis Bane is from

Lol this is SO awkward how on earth did i create the bff/mentor supporting character before ANY OF THE REST OF THE PLOT but man its been so much fun thinking up different stories she could fit in

* i was talking with a friend and they suggested she'd use a warhammer in battle ans now im like "hmm yes this story must be a game with combat" and that at least narrows it down a bit! I absolutely support her being a buff blacksmith cuddlebug who protects her friends with her fists as well as her mentorly perfectness. Also this friend said they're gonna design me a cool battle outfit for her IM SO EXCITED HOLY SHITTTT

* I'm not sure if the character she's bffs with would actually be a grandpa or just.. Grandpish? I just have this sense that its someone frail and depressed who doesn't believe they deserve friends and family, and they're all hermitty social anxiety until they meet this blacksmith lady who is like Fuck I Will Devote All Of My Considerable Power Towards Making Your Life More Alive. Seriously man i love Bane SO MUCH already!! She's basically a shonen hero archetype?? THE GRAMP AVENGER! Or a grandma or a dad or a whoever this person ends up being COS IF LITERALLY ANYONE IS IN NEED OF HELP SHE WILL BE THERE!! THE BANE OF DEPRESSION!!

* oh but im pretty sure that neither her nor the grandpa are the main character? I dont know why but i just feel like they would be better experienced from an outside view. I wanna be someone making friends with them! Also i feel like the protagonist should maybe be a young kid hero? Like, represent a different archetypal family role in this lil found family of hugs and sads.

* first initial idea- grandpa is a mysterious dark sorcerer and you are his apprentice! Or rather he just SEES himself as a dark sorcerer? Like all magic is considered evil, so even thougj he chooses to use his powers as a town doctor saving lives he still feels like he's a cursed monster. So he has an awkward dynamic with his apprentice cos he just Does Not Know How To React to someone hero worshipping him like this?? Like this orphan kid just came out of nowhere yelling BE MY TEACHER and hugging him and he's like OH NOOOO I CANT LEAVE THEM TO DIE IN THE COLD and theyre like SEE THATS PROOF YOURE GREAT and he's like NOOOOO!! xD i think a sort of "guy who never planned to be a gramp but had grampness thrown upon him" And he rose to the occasion spectacularly!!

* Another idea is that potentially instead of just being a random orphan, protagonist apprentice's backstory is shrouded in mystery? I was thinking maybe of a reveal that gramps actually did use to be a grandpa and his granddaughter died, and the protagonist was his failed attempt to ressurect her using dark magic. And for a long time he's been holding out on the hope that he really did bring her back, and that the protagonist will be able to recover her memories if he just tries hard enough. But as he grows to know you and love you like his own child, he realizes that you're your own person. (Or, well, your own homunculus?) And he takes responsibiluty for the new person he created, and helps you deal with finding out that you're not human, and you just form this very strange cute little family together with also the badass blacksmith lady yay! Also possibly LGBTQ elements because why not? Have the original dead grandkid always be a different gender to the protagonist, and them being trans could resonate with the themes that even though you're a clone you're your own person. And maybe have some sweet sad dream sequence where protag meets the ghost of the dead kid and you see a vision of what they might have looked like if they grew older. So throughout the course of the story you've become very different looking, and now you can embrace your big sibling for the first and last time, and feel like you really are a family. And they tell you to take care of gramps *sniff*

* Another idea is that maybe the protagonist is a secret government weapon? Like the gramps is still a dark sorcerer but instead of the dark incident in his past being a dead family member, its that he was part of a team of magic scientists and found out that his coworkers were crossing moral lines in their pursuit of power. So he finds a bunch of people locked up in a lab being turned into monsters and he managed to save only one of them during his great escape. And now he's trying to hide from them and raise this poor little monsterized kid to have a normal life.

* OR another idea is maybe taking this oc idea i had for a mismagius belonging to charon, because when i headcanon i tend to headcanon so deep i give everyone a full party and every party member needs a deep backstory too, lol. Anyway in that original pokemon version this mismagius was a lot more like an original ghost critter anyway i guess. His name was Hex and his concept was sorta like.. Charon meets kid charon? The other pokemon i gave him were all cute and bubbly to contrast him so i wanted to have one who was equally cynical. But also Hex is actually just a little kid even though he tries his damn best to be a Big Scary Evil Demon You Made A Contract With In Exchange For Great Power but really he's like a nine year old larping as one XD i think the whole concept could work better if he really WAS a magic spirit demon thing that this sad grandpa made a contract with in order to get the power to make his dreams come true. But also he's kind of a reject amoung other contract demon spirit thingies, and he's Really Just Babbu. I had this really sad idea for how he first met his trainer back when he was still a pokemon oc. From charon/new oc grandpa's perspective he found this big ominous scary demon lord and made an unholy contract! But from the demon's perspective he was just a tiny pathetic lonely lil kid who'd been hurt too many times by everyone he once trusted. So he grew to hate all those monsters who make friends with humans, and tried to act all egotistical like he chose to be alone. But eventually he just couldnt take it anymore and he decided he'd just go with the next human who tries to take him. Even if theyre evil.. Itd still be better than being alone. So he put up all those barriers around his true self and was so reluctant to trust gramps, but eventually being togethee has helped him regain his faith in having a happy life, yknow? And meanwhile grandpa is just like "oh god oh fuck youre a BABBY oh god how did i never know WHO WOULD LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE!!!" "Dude im a demon its not exactly normal to care about my wellbeing." "FUCK THAT, I AM YOUR GRAMP NOW"

* so yeah lol loads of different ideas about what the story could be, all kinda similar at heart but wildly varying from an innocent cute protag to grumpy cynical who's secretly an innocent cute protag, lol!

* in any case whoever you are and whoever gramps is, Bane is still be love u as big sis and support u thru the everything, yes

[softytom]

money is the anthem of success - t.h [part 4]

summary: Being rich and having a gorgeous finance isn’t everything. Tom and his future bride-to-be need to discover what they truly mean to each other before their wedding

pairing: Tom Holland x female!reader

warnings: for the first time nothing, i think.

word count: 1.5k

a/n: im not even like gonna say much because i’m still recovering from iw. and that tom gif is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment. and i know y’all probably gonna kill me because last chapter ended in a cliffhanger and this one well, you gotta read it. Enjoy💓

London. June 16th 2017. 8:46pm

“Who are you going out with again?” My sister asked, uninterested on the dress in front of her, or me. “Just… Some guy, father set me up with” I sighed. Liar. “Looks like you’re trying real hard to impress this one” She looked at me, giving me a grin. I let out a small laugh, ignoring her comment. “I’ll just wear something else, maybe a dress is too much” I walked back my closet, looking around, trying to find a nice outfit for tomorrow night.

After Tom had asked me out, he had found my number, I don’t know how. He texted me, saying how I should wear something cozy. What is cozy code for? Sex? No, I’m sure I would have heard that was like a new code for sex.

I didn’t know why I was so freaked out by this date, it just one date but anyone who knew me, or had gone a date with me knew first dates are not my specialty. A part me shouldn’t have agreed with going but I also couldn’t stop thinking about him. He had managed to keep me entrain a whole evening, just let letting me go on about my stories. Just thinking about him made me smile, a stupid, high school crush kinda smile.

I have heard every possible story, there is to know about him. A playboy, spends his nights with different women every night. A spoiled brat, who happens to have his private plane. My dad refused to buy me one, said I would use it to go away and never come back and I didn’t fight him on that one. But Tom had captured me. I have a weak spot for boys with shitty attitude but with great hair.

“Just wear whatever” My sister shouted from my room. “I’ll be right back” And a heard the door closed. Seems like I’ll do this by myself. Tom was going to be here in less than fifteen minutes and I still couldn’t decide what to wear.

I grabbed a plain white t-shirt, and put that on. I’m sure this would look nice with a Prada jacket.

I made my way downstairs, and I heard my name being shouted. It was coming from my father’s office. I softly knocked on the door.

“Close the door” He said with his head stuck on the papers in front of him. I closed the door and sat on of the chairs in front of his desk “You need something?” I asked “Attitude (Y/N)” I rolled my eyes. “I want to talk to you about your sister.” He looked at me frowning his eyebrow “What about her?” I asked already annoyed by his question “I’m going to start looking a husband for her. I thought you could help” “She’s not even close to being twenty and you forget, I’m still in the look” I remarked “No you’re not. I already have the perfect candidate for you, Joseph kid. Harrison” I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came up. I rather choke on blood than marry that guy “And your sister been, how do I put this, she’s been involving herself with the wrong people. The wrong companies. They think if they get to her, to my youngest daughter. I have to put a stop to her reckless behavior.” “Then have her marry the Harrison guy” “His too old for your sister.” She’s too young to even marry anyone. “(Y/N) His good for business. He had ties to the Hollands. We need that family on our side.” I nodded my head, hoping than me agreeing to this absurd plan of his, would get me out of here. My father got up from his desk, walking in front of me, sitting down on the desk facing me. “(Y/N). Sweetie. This marriage is going to helpful on both sides. Together, the Hollands, the Osterfields and us, are We can own half of Europe, if not all. And I want you at the front of it” Every word made my head spin. I couldn’t stop thinking about myself, being head of the family, of three biggest families. The thought of it made smile. Europe could be ours. Could be mine. And it will. “I’ll marry someone but not Harrison” My fathers smiled, turned into a frown. “I’ll get the big guy”

I heard my phone beep with a text. I couldn’t help my smile a little. It was from Tom. He was already outside.

“I’m going out with Laura tonight... So anything else you want to sprung upon me?” “No. Have fun. Just try not to end up in the news” “No promises”

 London. June 16th 2017. 9:40pm

Tom had been quiet the whole car ride, aside from his quietly singing a The Weeknd song. I sang it in my head but I could hear Tom quietly sang the song. I turned to look at window, and smiled. He wasn’t a bad singer.

The car ride felt like it was taking it forever. I lived far away from the city and it seemed like that’s where he was taking me. I glanced over at him, hoping he didn’t notice it. He was concentrated on the road. One hand on the wheel and the other on his lap. He was wearing a white t-shirt with an olive green jacket. He looked good. Really good.

He stopped the car in front of a company building. His company. His building. What is he playing at? Does he have unfinished work?

He hoped off the car, coming to my side and opening the door for me. “This is your building” I commented. “So?” He said smitten. I frowned. I wasn’t excited about this

He walked into the building and the first thing I notice was the big fountain the middle. It was big one, like the one in central park. Well not that big, but half it’s size. How did they get that in here? I turned to look over a Tom, he was talking to a girl in black suit, behind the reception desk. She was handing Tom a key. They both turned around to look at me and the girl in the suit waved at me. I waved back, confused.

We entered the elevator and he pressed the highest floor. The rooftop. “Who was that back there?” I asked, now wishing I could take it back. “Jealous?” Tom said, with his eyes on the doors. “I was just wondering” I mumbled. I didn’t realize how actually jealous I sounded until the words came out

The elevator doors opened, and revealed a set of stairs. I sighed. He looked me, and smiled. “After you, darling” I tried hiding my smile by existing the elevator quickly.

I opened the door that read “ROOFTOP AUTORIZED PERSONEL ONLY” and if the lobby of his building didn’t leave me impressed, this would. They were fairy lights handing by some poles, and a table, a truly setting for two. If this was any other guy, I would have probably laughed at him, turn away but with Tom, I was impressed. It made me feel special.

“Rich playboy billionaire, has outdid himself” I said, trying to hide my true emotions. I didn’t want to look pathetic by smiling, and giggling and jumping around. I can save all that for my sister, and Laura. “Only for those wo deserve it” He said, as he walked to the table

“So this how you do it?” I asked. I wanted to know how many girls before had fallen for the same trick “Do what?” He asked confused “Get girls to sleep with you” He let out a laugh “You take them to romantic rooftop dinners, and since half of them are idiots and don’t share your same background, you say some sad story of how hard it was for you growing up with money and power and they just happen to fall into your bed” I said and Tom just sat there, smiling at me. “You got me (Y/N). Expect I don’t need a sad story to get them to bed” He added. “I thought we could talk more about your mischievous behavior. That’s something that got me going” “I talked to much last time” I admitted to him. I rarely talk to people, but talking to Tom seemed easy. “Talk about you. Rumor is, your behavior is worse than mine” He chuckled

And Tom talked. About his mum. His dad. His brothers. A dog even. It warmed how much he talked about them with such a joy. I don’t know if it warms of a happiness, or jealousy. Tom seemed incredibly into his story. How they spend some time in France, skiing. Family dinner every Friday and Sunday. How his dad really wanted to be a comedian, instead of a business man.

All the talk of family, got me thinking about mine. My father is never around. My sister is off to Chicago. And mum died. Maybe marrying wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Sunday dinner’s. Vacations in France. Summer in the Hamptons. An actually family. I can do that for a lifetime.

tag list:  @let-me-luve-you @spoodermain @petersunderroos @anytimebitches @andreuskystuff @hollandroos @jademmmmmm @marvelouslyme96 @dr-tardis-who @panicatttckiss @peterspanish @aussie-mantle @riverdalemami @kennedyy-gracee @carrotsunshine @peterparkyourassonme @tiarrasmith (hmu is you want to be added)

#tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland #Y'aLL THOUGHT !! #MITAOS*

[chokememrstark]

The Soulmate Sam Never Asked For // Part 8

Ship: Samifer (Sam Winchester / Lucifer)

Words: 2660 (Chapter 8 / 12)

Fic Summary: Sam's hope is proven right when the doctor comes back to them with positive news. He's as excited as Raphael, only Lucifer still seems to be trying to fully process the situation. But Sam knows he's just having a hard time putting his thoughts into words, which shows very soon.

college!AU, human!AU, soulmates!AU, dysfunctional families, abusive parents, dramatic romance, or romantic drama, your choice, big brother!Lucifer, soulmates hating each other, referenced alcoholism, death and abuse, some violence, and lots of feels, fluff and cuteness, some drama but not too much, lots of bickering, and two damn stubborn soulmates (!!)

Note: My lovely beta reader @brieflymaximumprincess called this a rom-com and even though I don’t believe it is, in my eyes, it does have certain elements of it. This is not the angst you know from me, not at all.

Yes, there is some drama, but there is also a lot of sweet and cute moments, much more than the dramatic ones. I guess you could say I accidentally wrote cute fluff? Because it was not intended, but here we are.

This fic is already completed and will be posted by the regular schedule from now on: Thuesday, Thursday and Saturday! So, enjoy ♥

Tagging: @shebahda   @sassysupernaturalsweetheart    @spnyoucantkeepmedown  @brieflymaximumprincess @multifandomhcsforinsanity @etysky @justasmalltownsuperwholock @humongouscandycoffee @daddycasstiel @nnegann @blakechaos08

If you want off the tag list or want to be added, just drop me an ask or IM!

Read on AO3!

Since he didn’t have to go back to college at the moment, Sam spent the afternoon with the two brothers. In probably the strangest twist of his life, Raphael actually grew on him more and more. They played a round of Monopoly, during which Sam could watch the interaction between him and Lucifer more closely, and he realized that it was very similar to his own relationship with Dean in a certain way. They laughed, but also teased each other when one of them didn’t have things work out in their favor. It was nice to watch, but inside it made Sam very sad and he hoped more than ever before the doctor would come back with good news soon. If he had to sacrifice a kidney so these two could stay together like this, he was going to do it in a heartbeat.

In the late afternoon, Raphael became tired and Sam excused himself to get more coffee for the older ones, but he mostly left because he wanted them to have a brotherly moment without being disturbed. They had spent the whole day together after all, Raphael and Lucifer surely needed some time alone. On his way back from the cantina he heard a familiar voice and turned around, coffees still in hand, to a very happy looking doctor.

“Sam!” doctor Francis said and quickly walked up to him. “I’m glad to catch you outside, do you have a moment?”

“Of course, yeah,” Sam answered perplexed. “Do you have the results?”

“We do and they are very promising.”

Sam’s jaw dropped, his grip around the coffee cups tightening slightly.

“So, I can donate? I can help Raphael?” he asked, completely shocked and surprised.

“If that’s your wish, yes,” the doctor nodded with a smile. “Your examples match almost perfectly, much better than the first. We have very good chances that Raphael’s body won’t reject the transplant this time.”

“Oh my god, that’s amazing!” Sam gasped, almost dropping the coffees from excitement. “When can we do it? Can we do it today already?”

“Slow down, young man,” Doctor Francis laughed. “You have to be sober for the operation, so I’m afraid it won’t happen today.” Sam looked very disappointed, but the doctor continued before he could say anything. “But we already reserved the surgery room for tomorrow morning, so if you agree and Raphael's condition allows it, we can do it then.”

“Awesome!” Sam couldn’t believe it, this was way better than he had expected. “Is there anything I need to know, apart from being sober?”

“We will operate on Raphael and you simultaneously, to not lose any time. We are very lucky that you want to do this, the chances for success are much higher this way. Since Raphael is still a child we won’t take your whole kidney, we will cut out a certain amount of it and transplant it. The procedure will take a while, but because we have a living transplant the chances are very high.”

“So, he’ll be fine?” Sam asked excited. “He’ll live a normal life again and won’t have to fear another rejection?”

“Of course I can’t guarantee that,” the doctor said with a stern face. “But since you two are such a good match the prognoses are very good. Raphael will have to take care of himself of course and he will have to take medication for the rest of his life to prevent another rejection, but if his body accepts the transplant it will be a huge improvement.”

“I’m on board,” Sam said without hesitating. “I already packed some things in case I could donate, so I can stay here right away.”

“That was very thoughtful of you,” doctor Francis smiled. “I will come with you to break the news.”

“I’m not sure if Raphael is still awake,” Sam said as they continued their way to the boy’s room. “He was very tired earlier.”

“We’ll see,” the doctor answered.

Sam nodded, he was about to kick the door to alert Lucifer he was there, after all his hands were still full. Doctor Francis saw his attempt and quickly opened the door for them. Sam smiled at him and walked inside. As he had expected, Raphael was asleep, but Lucifer’s attention was on them right away and he jumped up to walk over.

“Doctor! Is everything alright? Do you have any news?”

Sam put the coffee down next to Lucifer, fearing he might actually drop his when he got the new information, before the doctor answered.

“Yes and they are good ones finally,” doctor Francis smiled. Lucifer gave Sam a confused look, who nodded toward the man in white so the blond turned his attention back to him. “Sam and Raphael’s examples are an almost perfect match, we can do the transplantation right tomorrow morning. So far, Raphael’s health allows another operation and Sam already gave me his okay. If Raphael's condition stays the same over night, I don't see a problem.”

“Seriously?” Lucifer asked with wide eyes and turned back to his classmate. “You’re not kidding me?”

“Nope,” Sam smiled at the other. “We are ready to go as soon as Raph and I are sober.”

“Oh god, Sam!” Lucifer gasped and suddenly, without a warning or giving Sam any chance to react, grabbed the brunet and pulled him into his arms and into a tight and almost squishing hug. “Thank you so much! You don’t know how much this means to me!”

“Hey, I told you I’d do it,” Sam said awkwardly and patted Lucifer’s back the best he could. “He’s gonna be better soon, I’m sure of that.”

“Raphael has the best chances of recovering with Sam’s kidney,” the doctor said and caught Lucifer’s attention again, who slowly let go of his classmate. “He is a much better match than the last donor and it's gonna be a living transplant, which increases the chance for success too. I’m not allowed to make legal promises, you know that, but given the circumstances, I’m confident that it will all go well and Raphael will recover very soon.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Lucifer mumbled, looking back and forth between the doctor and Sam.

“I’d say you prepare your brother when he wakes up,” the doctor suggested with a smile. “I will come by tonight to talk to him again and in the morning we will prepare everything.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Lucifer said and took the man’s hand tightly. “I can’t thank you enough for this, really.”

“Thank me when everything is over,” the doctor replied, but still shook Lucifer’s hand with a smile. “I will ask Karen to make the second bed in this room ready for you, Sam. I’m sure you want to stay here instead of in a separate room.”

“That would be great, thank you,” Sam nodded and smiled. “I want to know if Raphael is doing well and I’m sure it will be easier for Lucifer too.”

“Of course, I’ll be back later.”

The doctor nodded again and left the two young men alone. After staring at the door for a good five minutes, Lucifer finally turned around to Sam again, his face still a mask of disbelief. Sam smiled weakly and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s gonna be okay, Lucifer, I know it,” he said carefully.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this, Sam,” Lucifer mumbled slowly. “You know Raphael for two days and me for a few weeks and you’re doing something so huge for us!”

“I told you, if the tests say yes, I’m on board.” Sam smiled. “Maybe you should sit down and drink your coffee, I don’t want you to drop to the floor.”

Lucifer nodded and allowed Sam to guide him over to his chair. The brunet got their coffees and sat down on his own chair, excited and a little nervous, but much more than that very relieved that the doctor had given them such good news.

They sat in silence for quite some time, drinking their coffee - Lucifer more sporadically than Sam - and waiting. Sam knew that Lucifer’s mind was probably going through everything that could go wrong right now, but he could see that he was just as relieved as he was himself. After all, his brother was about to get another chance, one he had not deemed possible before. Sam was nervous, but he tried not to show it too obviously to not worry the blond any further. At the same time, however, he was very hopeful about this operation.

“I can’t believe this,” Lucifer said eventually, shaking his head. “He’s gonna get another chance…”

“And it’s a good one, the doctor told me,” Sam said quietly. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it will be alright and everything will go well.”

“I never thought he’d get this opportunity again,” Lucifer sighed. “Even if it’s only buying time, it’s more than I ever hoped for.”

“It’ll be more than buying time,” Sam replied, drawing Lucifer’s attention. “He’ll recover and go back to school and you’ll live a better life, I know that.”

“You really think so?” Lucifer asked and Sam nodded.

“I’m sure of it,” he said.

-----

Raphael reacted excited at the news of another transplant, especially when he found out Sam would be the donor. He kept talking about how they would basically be brothers then and Sam and Lucifer couldn’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm. A nurse came by later to put new sheets on the empty bed in Raphael’s room and even when the boy was told he wouldn’t get any food anymore until the operation he wasn’t bothered at all. When Lucifer told him he’d stay overnight too, Raphael was thrilled.

“We’ll have a sleepover!” he exclaimed laughing. “I always wanted a sleepover!”

The sleepover turned out to only last until nine in the evening, when Raphael fell asleep on his bed, but Sam was sure he still enjoyed it. Lucifer smiled at his brother, kissed his forehead and pulled the blanket up to his chin so he wouldn’t get cold. He had made some kind of improvised bed in the play area Gabe usually stayed in, assuring Raphael it was fine this way before he fell asleep. He and Sam kept their voices down after this to not wake him up again.

“You sure you’ll be able to sleep like this?” Sam asked, eyeing Lucifer’s bed suspiciously. “Doesn’t look comfortable.”

“It’ll do,” Lucifer shrugged. “You two got your beds and will sleep well, that’s important. I can sleep when this is all over.”

“You’re a really good brother,” Sam smiled warmly. “They are very lucky to have you.”

“So, you think a good brother lets one of them be taken away and one suffer like this?” Lucifer asked and sighed. “Doesn’t sound that good to me.”

“No, a good brother doesn’t stop fighting for them,” Sam assured him. “A bad one would just shrug and move on, but you don’t do that.”

“Maybe,” Lucifer replied quietly, not very persuading.

“Let me put it this way,” Sam tried again. “A bad brother wouldn’t be willing to sacrifice his own future just so his little brothers are happy and cared for. A bad brother would turn his back at them and just leave them behind for his own sake.”

“Sounds like what Michael did,” Lucifer said sadly. “But I would give everything I have for them, even my life.”

“And that makes you the good brother, not Michael.”

Lucifer looked up, meeting Sam’s eyes and catching the reassuring hint in them.

“Thank you, Sam,” Lucifer answered. “I don’t think anyone ever said such things to me.”

“It’s just the truth,” Sam shrugged, blushing a little. “Everyone would be happy to have someone who cares about them as much as you care about your brothers. Just because bad things happen doesn’t mean that changes.”

“I wish they had parents who cared for them as much as I do,” Lucifer sighed and looked at Raphael. “They deserve to be loved and if their parents can’t do that I’ll just love them more to make up for it.”

“You know, you might think you’re a tough guy,” Sam chuckled mischievously. “But you’re a big softie at heart.”

“The big softie can hit pretty damn hard if someone calls him a softie again,” Lucifer huffed and glared at Sam. “Don’t test your luck on me, punk.”

“Oh, I would never dare,” Sam laughed and raised his hands in defense. “Don’t wanna get my ass kicked by the big bad wolf.”

Lucifer growled dangerously at Sam and for a moment they were both silent before the laughter broke through. Sam couldn’t explain why, but he actually felt happy and much less nervous right now. Maybe he hated the soulmate thing, but Lucifer wasn’t so bad after all. Seeing this other side of him helped, so did the knowledge that he was just acting when he was out there, but that wasn’t all. There was something else, a certain type of understanding that he didn’t know until this point and he actually liked that.

“You should get some sleep now too,” Lucifer suggested after the laughter ebbed away slowly. “It’s a big day tomorrow, you don’t want to be exhausted.”

“Yeah, because they’ll keep me awake during the operation,” Sam grinned, causing Lucifer to laugh again. “But you’re probably right, I’m pretty tired.”

Sam laid down and Lucifer turned off the lights before doing the same in the very uncomfortable spot he was forced into. For what felt like an eternity Sam tried to fall asleep, but it just wouldn’t happen for some reason. He wasn’t scared of the next day or felt conflicted right now, he simply laid there and stared at the ceiling that was slightly illuminated through the windows as the minutes flew by.

“Lucifer?” Sam finally whispered after a very long time, not even expecting an answer. “Are you still awake?”

“Yeah?” The other sounded sleepy, but not as if Sam had just woken him up.

“Did you ever wonder why this soulmate thing even exists?” Sam had no idea why these words came out of his mouth in the first place, but once they were out he really felt the need for an answer.

“My theory is that God is a cruel asshole who loves to play with us,” Lucifer scoffed.

“That might be a reason,” Sam chuckled.

“Actually that’s just me being bitter,” Lucifer said and Sam swore he heard a smirk in his voice. “I don’t know why it exists, but it does and we have to live with it. Sometimes it makes people happy, sometimes it doesn’t, we won’t know before it happens to us, sadly.”

“Yeah, it can be pretty fucked up,” Sam sighed, thinking about his parents. “I don't wanna end up broken about something I never had a say in…”

“Oh, you do have a say in it,” Lucifer rejected. “You fight it, most people don't. And I can assure you I'm a rather durable asshole, I'm not gonna die anytime soon, don’t worry.”

Sam smirked into the darkness. He wondered if his mom thought like this too before she got killed, but as soon as the thought creeped up he tried to push it back down. No, this was different, he couldn't compare these situations. It was nice knowing that Lucifer wanted to make him feel better about it though.

“Maybe we can become friends one day,” Sam eventually said quietly. It was probably the hardest thing he ever forced out of his mouth. “I mean, when this is over and you want to. It's fine if not, but I wouldn't mind.”

“Me neither,” Lucifer replied just the same. “I told you I can't afford this to take over my life, but a friend doesn't sound like a bad thing. And now get some sleep, it's late.”

“Yeah, I'll try,” Sam smiled. “Goodnight, Lucifer.”

“Goodnight, Sam.”

#samifer #sam x lucifer #sam winchester #spn lucifer #soulmates!au #college!au #human!au #myfics #sorry i couldn't find a gif ._. #so here goes without one

[ts-autumns-world]

Episode 4: “Tua supremacy babey” - Lily O

I GET TO REUNITE WITH JINX YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

me waking up to see that im in the new tribe: https://media.tenor.com/images/93212119a4887f9fa0ad945c7ae2a5d0/tenor.gif

tbh i expected the swap since like we have 14 rn so its a reasonable number to do a swap before the merge.. but like this swap sucks not only me being the only one from og eener but its also me having to be with these 4 whites ppl. you know i don't trust white ppl except mikki SDFSDFSDFSDF so this absolutely SUCKS. and geekoffilm is on another tribe too.

URGH i hope i can team up with jinx and jude. and joey and i used to play together in CoW so hopefully, i am able to make him want to work with me again.. but monty... monty is very skeptical cause like they could just vote me off now. BUT THEN, i know that either jinx or raffy has the idol for sure, so maybe i need to ask jinx for that. or i just ask the person who i'll be up against with in the tic tac toe to throw a challenge if they are the og eener too. 

much to think about bestie booth. i wanna trust these ppl so bad but i have trust issues

https://youtu.be/JrXnnD5KU0I

---

naur this is the plan if we go to council

imma be like joey

you are the only cis white man on the team

you have to go. 

you wanna be an ally?

THIS IS HOW!!!

so im pushing for u FEWEJFEEFJEFEIFEFIJW 

heS ALWAYS SAYING HE WANTS TO BE A BETTER ALLY

ALWAYS CALLING ME LIKE JINX IM SO SORRY

ILL BE LIKE FOR WHAT?? 

HE'S LIKE FOR BEING A WHITE CIS STRAIGHT MAN. 

IF UR REALLY SORRY ULL LEAVE!

I have to start this out by saying Giraffez, I’m so sorry! I tried my best but too many people wanted to keep us comp strong and wanted Lily O to stay. I really wish we would have had the chance to play longer together but sometimes it’s just not in the cards.

As far as swap goes, I’m really happy about my team. We have a majority from my original group which is pretty wild. I wish Chips was here and I really hope he makes it work somehow but I’m ngl I’m a little worried about him.

I was so so thrilled to see Jinx on Tua with me. I also have started talking with Captain and Jude. They both seem super nice so as always I’m hoping to avoid tribal once again.

I’d like to the think that original Llih (was that how you spelled it?) will stay together but Giraffez told me that Lily O told her that she was voting for me. Now obviously we all voted Giraffez but I think Lily O knows I was plotting. So. I hope we can stick together. But. Yeah. Your girl is worried. And excited. She is excited cause this group seems cool. But nervous because yeah I’m not ready for another vote out. Mkay. Bye.

This swap went pretty well for me all things considered. I still have a bunch of people from my OG Tribe, and the new people seem active and really nice! So, I like my tribe. Blake offered to me today to work together closely in the game which I am down for. The semi-inactive people need to stick together and all that lmao. Other than that, I am straight Vibing

Swap time! honestly its time to kick it into high gear and win this immunity challenge! make some real allies!

HELLO AUTUMNS WORLD!!!!!! So I have arrived in a swapped team with 3 of my old members! SOOO happy Mikki is here firstly since we can discuss basically anything. Blake and Raffy im also cool with but not like as close with them. Maybe a bit more with Blake. Of the new people my fav is Chris !! Already liking our chats and hope it can turn more strategic later maybe!! Ricky is also cool and funny and chips I was allies with him in Kili which is cool but probably the weakest connection of the new people so far!! It looks like we are gonna lose and if so its kinda hard like on one hand we have easy majority to vote off idk probably chips or maybe ricky or we could go against tribal linesI think Blake truly does wanna work with me tho but is just busy. Like going against tribal lines is kinda fun but maybe dumb. And chips being the 1 in a 4-2-1 swap sucks too!! Idk kind of evaluating the vibe with Mikki and will see what we think later if we lose… we would probs be safe regardless being protected by tribal lines on one side and having developed sorta good vibes with Chris and Ricky from the other side so probs wouldn’t be targeted from that angle either?? Hopefully… I did have kind of a delayed start with the new people cuz of irl stuff but yah we will see!

My opinion on swap was initially sad because I was missing out on Jinx/Jude/Joey/Captain BUT then I realize I like this tribe?? Im with Ricky still, Mikki probably is sitting at the cookout as we spesk, Chips is lowkey goody but I got my eye on him, Benj and I bond over Agatha Christie <3, Blake I knew from TDI so we have been goofin like a Goofy movie, Raffy I actually enjoy that we chat of the most mundane things, and that's everybody! I think I have a chance to survive on this tribe

---

My thoughts are that I've got Ricky and Mikki at minimum. I know Mikki/Raffy got beef but I doubt they go for each other. Chips is like a level-headed Joey but I reckon one of him/Blake/Benj will be targeted if I had to guess. Nevertheless me and Captain talked during our matchup and exchanged info. My hope is me or Ricky are in Outhouse but I also hope not so we have higher odds to keep the goodies all goodie and safe

https://voca.ro/18WSqZznajDx

---

I LOVE JUDE

so idk where my last confessional left off but i think it was before tribal. so after tribal, jinx’s manifestations came true, we swapped, i ended up on a tribe with no one i knew except chris, so that was kind of…nnng. but hey, gotta roll with the punches. me and jinx were paired up for the challenge which game me a bit of time to talk with them, and they gave me some insight on ppl i didn’t really know on my tribe, and also they gave me a tarot reading, and it basically said that while i’m probably gonna have to deal with some bullshit, i just have to use everything i’ve learned to get over any obstacles, and stay calm and collected through it all. i’m really really praying for this one, since we just lost immunity, and now chris is going to the outhouse, i’m afraid that i’m truly all alone now. and if there’s one thing that scares me it’s being alone. i really like mikki tho, and i heard benj was good ppl. maybe if i let them know that raffy might have the half idol then maybe they’d be more inclined to work with me, but i also really enjoy raffy’s presence, so i don’t really want him to be a target. blake and i have had a good amount of dialogue so i’m hoping that he’d be willing to work with me, to be honest. ughhhhh why why why tribal. WHY TRIBAL. in all my years of playing tumble survivor i’ve never been sent to like…and exile or redemption island ONCE. not once….ever…. please god let me get to the outhouse just one time.

First of all, lemme just say I'm so amused by how quickly my chances of no-votes went RIGHT out the door. But also thank god that it went off without a hitch! And right before a swap, no less New tribe is definitely iconic. LOVE Jinx, Captain and Jude are cool too, and then my Llih buddies are also v nice to have (shoutouts monty and joey)

Tua supremacy babey

https://youtu.be/oP7DWOnmt40

https://youtu.be/Z3_pyWTdRh8

https://youtu.be/UFshPYJ98z0

hello confessional booth... i'm here to give you um. something i hope!!!! 

well since the swap, i feel like i've managed to fit in better than i expected cause ive been feeling under the weather and i don't rlly have energy to talk to anyone (which is so great that our tribe won this IC) but i rlly need to work on that more for sure..

joey wants to work with me.. like a lot. we worked together for a bit in CoW before he was voted out and he was a great ally to me back then so i think i can trust joey a little bit? and he rlly wants the pocs to go far so i think this is a good sign.

with jinx, we've been wanting to talk about the outhouse thing but jinx wants to call and i've been feeling sick so we haven't called but hopefully we can do that soon. i trust jinx a lot and i know they're gonna take care of me.

jude.. you know i like her since i saw her intro vid so yup gonna need to talk to her more!!!

lily c.. my fellow teacher pls SFSFSDFSD i enjoy our chat a lot like idt its much but every time we talk, with her, it just feels great and nice and like we just get to know each other so far so i hope we can talk game a bit more but we'll see

lily o.. we haven't talked since the day the swap happened. idk why. maybe she's busy or maybe i should dm her first so i think i'm gonna do that tmr my time if i have the energy.

and monty... PLEASE idk if i can trust monty or not. like he's a good friend of mine but my experience in orgs with them is that they tried to break the swp apart (which was smart but then mikki and i are both playing so gotta keep an eyes on them)

i'm just trying to feel good and hopefully recover soon cause i hate being sick. idk i'm scared of covid!!!!! but i haven't gone outside for a week or two methinks so we're gonna pray and see.

---

missing mikki and hope she will be fine

Blake suggested starting an OG Eneer alliance to Mikki and Benj. They took them up on the offer so I guess I am in my first alliance of the game based on arbitrary reasons. In any case, they seem to want to vote out Chips which is a RIP. But whatever keeps me safe for one more round.

I don’t have an obsession with the Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood sketch from SNL... No I clearly don’t... https://youtu.be/whfQf3Pd5bU

It’s my chronic overthinking in this swap that is going to do me in, I feel. It’s the pressure of having to actually think differently, and coming off of EVERYTHING I’ve seen in this community over the past 6 months, oh good Lord have mercy, I feel as though its so hard for me to want to not sacrifice my game, but at the same time... I feel all the pressure in the world to flip. I did have a lucid dream that if I got to a point where I consistently voted only white people at every Council, it would make my game look REALLY good by comparison, since I literally did everything I could, and no, I don’t want to hear anyone post season say this was rigged for Jinx, it’s not, we’re only going to go against each other down the road because of how this season has been set up, and it breaks my heart

https://photos.app.goo.gl/eSvSGkc4zmBfnYVP7

So here's some tea I suppose. I was a pretty big fan of the tribe swap because people talked more in general. This was particularly interesting considering their different timezones but continued ability to keep up conversation. It was pretty apparent that I was at a numbers deficit from my original tribe but my hope was that people didn't want to play like "that" and then if they did that my former tribe would throw it to keep the numbers. Apparently that is not true as Lily C went as hard as possible to win a challenge she could have convincingly thrown as an "accident" multiple times. At any rate, based on the total lack of communication with me concerning who I am voting it is evident that either the plan is to vote someone without telling me or that it is to vote me. This means that regardless of the situation I am in a terrible position and will be leaving sooner rather than later. I don't know that I've been swap screwed in the past (perhaps, I've been playing for too long) but it really stinks. 

For the TL;DR watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzftXB28gBE

 http://www.purplerockpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/survivor-pearlislands-lillian-morris-no-sir.gif

As I'm writing this, I have a big gulp from... you guessed it... 7/11. I need to flip on one of the three of Monty, Lily O, and Lily C. My best option is going to vote for Lily O, I need Monty and Lily C to know I'm only doing this because yanno, things look awfully awful, and the pressure of making the right move and yet making sure I don't lose relationships is starting to get to me.

I also need them as shields because theyre the only winners in this game, and I need them here as shields for down the road heading into a merge.

I can't even believe I found TWOA IDOLS! I had to think a lot about who to give it too but I decided to do what felt like the smartest thing to do. Jinx and Captain already trust me and I enjoy Ricky but he gives semi chaotic energy. With that in mind, I had to give it to Jude as a sign of faith. Not only am I wanting her to do well, but I want to prove to her I legit want to work with her come merge 😊

https://youtu.be/vOn8Zsi0njA

https://youtu.be/UWTB-LYjbu0

for Chips: https://youtu.be/lSeDZdSEl4o

#tsaw #episodes

[hardt4rein]

Dally x Reader x Two-Bit

This is my first ever fanfic and it may be bad there also might be mistakes or run on sentences. I just hope you enjoy. Disclaimer this is a smut so beware you have been warned hope you will enjoy.

You are 15 years old and are walking down the street to Ponyboy's house. You new that it wasn't safe walking alone. Especially if your best friends with Pony's gang but you were strong and smart and was walking very fast so you was ok for the mean while. You finally reach the Curtis house.

"WASSUP BITCHES" you say to who ever was in the house, but you soon found out that you were just with Two-Bit and Dally. Oh man did Dally do things to you but you were smart knowing that if you was to look up one night stand or fuckboy in the dictionary you would get a picture of Dallas Winston. Now Two-Bit was a different case you guys were always friends and you always thought he was cute but he did get annoying at times when he would make jokes about you liking Dally. Which of course you said it wasn't true but your heat said other wise.

"Watchin Mickey, and im not a dog im a human boy" Two-bit remarked and you just kinda glared at him. Yup hes soo drunk you thought to yourself as you see the evidence of beer bottles around him. "Smokin" Dally replied rather quickly, you noticed the way he was looking you up and down even though thats just a normal Dally thing he seemed more into it today. Dally had just recently had broken up with his sluty ex girlfriend Sylvia, just thinking about her name made your blood boil that she would cheat on this beautiful looking specimen.

As you was just looking in between the two hottest boys in the gang you think that maybe its time for you to stop staring and to do your homework. As you start taking a out your work Dally asks you " Isnt there funner things you rather do than do your homework" you just look up from your work "First off funner isnt a word and second i need to get it out of the way if i want to do anything fun". You drew your attention away from Dallas for a bit " Speaking of homework should you be doing yours Keith" you heard a loud groan coming from no other than Two-Bit " III did it in schooools give me a break". "Wow thats new, Two-Bit did his homework before the good girl did" Dallas said putting on one of his famous smirks. " First off i did most if my homework in school im just finishing up some questions i didnt get to complete" you said staring at him chewing on the inside of your cheek. You hurried up and finished the last few problems and started packing up your supplies when you saw the two boys look at each other and grin. Dally puts out his cigarette on a near by ash tray. You raised an eyebrow utterly confused as Dally moved to the couch that you were sitting on, Two-Bit just watch with that dumb smile on his lips which you had grown to love.

"So doll now that your done with your homework how about a little bit of fun" Dally said that smirk never leaving his face, "What kind of fun do you have in mind" you asked you had a feeling of what it could be or maybe it wasn't you couldn't tell with Dally. He pick you up and sat you down in his lap which caused your face to turn as red as a tomato. While in his lap he edged his face closer to yours and your getting excited but also nervous but before you knew it Dallas was already kissing you.

Dallas had a his hands tightly around your body, as he kissed your plump lips slowly. His lips tasted like strawberries, which make the taste addictive. Two- Bit smirked, enjoying the view and came over to you and Dallas. Two-Bit pushed your hair back and started to leave very dark love bites on your skin. You let out a loud moan, which triggered Dallas and Two-Bit to gets excited.

Dallas licked your lower lip asking for entrance but when you didnt get the memo he squeezed your ass making you moan and opening your mouth a bit, he slid his tongue into your mouth and you two started french kiss on the couch.

"Let me get a turn" Two-Bit whined, Dally released your lips and picked you up to turn you towards Two-Bit. Dally being the very skilled person he is used his time wisely to start getting undressed as you and Two were going at it. Two was a little different feeling from Dally, Dally was rough, hard and needy but Two was still pretty rough not as rough as Dally and he also was very playful. Plus the taste of beer on his lips adding a new taste into the kiss.

As you two broke apart gasping for oxygen, Dally sees this as a opportunity to undress you so he does just that. Once he gets to unclipping your bra thats when you think that this is seriously real and that anyone could walk into that door at any moment which added some more adrenaline into the whole mix. " I though Dallas Winston doesnt share" you said in between gasps, "I usually dont bu-" Dally gets cut of by Two "Were trying to see which one of us you like more so you can go out with one if us". " Oh really now, but what if i dont choose either of you" you asked in a playful tone, " Then i guess were gonna have to keep doing this to until you choose" Dallas said while smirking that sexy smirk.

You grinned at Dallas when he said that, you wouldnt mind having sex with the two hottest guys in the group but the bad thing is that they are very possessive and get jealous easily especially Dally. You decide to turn the tables and you started to tease them. You were sitting on Two-Bit laps kissing him with such a lust and such a passion, you slipped your right hand under Dally's boxers and started to stroke him. In that action that caused him to give out a low breathe moan. And boy did that turn you on. You got off Two-Bit's lap and helped pull off both of the boys underwear's. You were sitting on your knees on the floor looking at both of their sizes and Dally's was a tad bit bigger. Just from looking at it Dally was about a 12in and Two-Bit a 10in and they were both pretty thicc. Both of the boys looked at your face and you dont know what face you was making but you were just staring at their boners.

"Um (y/n) are you ok?" Two-Bit ask very concerned. Dally looked at you studying your face "Your a virgin aren't you" Dally asked that smirk never leaving his face. You nodded slightly, you was thinking man am I seriously about to let this happen im 15 and im about to get fucked by a 18 year old and a 17 year old. They are basically adults and your not even 16 yet. Your mom would freak if she found out what you were doing.

You came back from your thoughts as your heard them arguing over who gets to take your virginity. "I shouuuld do it im the oldest and i never got to take a girrrrls Virginia before" Two-Bit slurred "You mean virginity" you corrected Two-Bit "Wow your 18 and you having taken someone's virginity before thats sad" Dallas remarked "And besides im more skilled in this kind of thing" Dallas gave Two-Bit a look of victory when you budded in " How about both at the same time" you asked meekly.

The boys stared at you in disbelief. "Both of us, on your first timmme???" Two-Bit couldnt rap his head around why on earth would you want that. You couldn't believe that the smirk on Dally's face could get any wider oh but it did. "I see that someone is feisty" Dally pinched your nipple and hummed at the at the moan you let out. "Ok how about we let her decide as to who's gonna take her virginity" Two-Bit asked staring at your naked form. "How about we make this a game who ever cums first is the one to take away her virginity" Dally declared, " Alright but if she cums first  then we can both say we still taken it from her" Two-Bit said.

You could tell that Dally like your feistiness so he patted the couch and you climb on the couch so that your knees were on the couch seats but your elbows on the top of the couch. " Wait we dont have cond-" you tried to say before Two-Bit enters you making you lose your train of thought as the excruciating pain that was in your heat area. Dally grabbed his belt tying it around your hands as he enters shortly after Two-Bit did.You could tell Dally was getting impatient and he started to move and boy did it hurt the both of them in your tight untouched pussy.

"Take it easy now Dal shes a newbie and you might rip her walls" Two-Bit did sound kind of concern. " Nah she'll be fine besides with the both if us in here she gonna adjust quicker i think" Dally said pretty confident. After Dally hitting your g-spot and Two-Bit staring to move you adjusted and man did it feel soooo gud

Dally was more focused on trying to nut in you than Two-Bit was, now as for Two-Bit while he was fucking you he was also exploring your body. All you could hear in the Curtis house was the sound of wet skin slapping against wet skin and the sounds of your beautiful moans you three were making.

After a while of the constant stimulation your body couldn't handle it you just bit your lips so hard to the point where it draws blood. Dally grabs your hair that you had neatly put into a ponytail yanking your head back. " Im gonna c-" you couldn't even finish your sentence when you came all over Dally and Two-Bit. Because of you coming that made Dally pull out and stuck his cock into your mouth sending his hit seed deep into your mouth with his seed settling in your empty stomach. While Two-Bit waited his turn to get your mouth he continued pounding into you and grabbed the beer he didnt finish drinking earlier. Dally was taking way to long in your mouth so he decided to pull out and stick his hard cock inside your butt hole and came in there.

Both of the guys ridding out their organs in your mouth and asshole. They both pulled out and you laid there in the couch. " That was sooooo gud" Two-Bit said taking another sip of his beer. You wanted to lay their until you recovered but Dally thought otherwise, " You look sexy laying there and all but you have to get dressed" Dally said to you while putting on his underwear and pants. You groaned but complied pulling on your clothes as you look back to see a sleeping Two-Bit on the couch.

"Aww look how cute" you said watching his sleeping form as you put on your clothes. Both you and Dally heard a car pull up in the driveway and you panicked you hurried shaking Two-Bit to wake up. Gathering up his clothes and putting them in his hands as you pushed him to the bathroom. When he was in the bathroom you ran back to sit on the couch and try to look normal. "Were back" you heard Darry say " What is that smell" Ponyboy said grabbing the bridge of his nose. " It smells like sex in here" Steve said while walking in. Soda looked you at the both of you and narrowed his eyes "OHHHHHHhhhhh you two FUCKED!!" Soda said while raising his voice. "Ew no thats just the smell of Dallas's smoking" you said trying to lie and hurry to cover up them finding out. Everyone turns their attention to Two-Bit who walks out the bathroom fully dressed. " Keith why are your pants on backwards" Darry asked narrowing his eyes. " Oh shit all three of them fucked" Steve said as him and Soda started playfully punching each other.

"Um ew no first off im not gonna be a fuckgirl and fuck two guys at the same time secondly its Dallas Winston i dont want to be added to the list of girls he has fucked and thirdly why on earth would i fuck Two-Bit like come on he's Two-Bit. "Hey whats that's supposed to mean Two-Bit said sitting in between all his empty beer bottles and his pants are still backwards. "Keith what the fuck clean up after your self this isnt your house you cant just leave it a mess" Darry almost practically screamed at him.

"Your not my moooom" Two-But said before passing out on the floor. "Sooo where did you guys go" you asked trying to clear the tension. "Me Darry and Steve were all at work" Soda explained. " Me and Johnny went to the movies we saw IT" Ponyboy said. " Aww i wanted to see IT i guess ima have to go" you said pretend to be sad even though you kind of was. " Awe dont worry doll ill take ya" Dally said budding in while lighting a cigarette "Thx and Two-Bit can come to hes been roasting that clown all week" you said think about watching the movie then going to Buck's to hang out with them if ya know what i mean.

"Anyways ima go home guys" you said wanted to go to get cleaned up as you have soiled your underwear. As you was walking out the door you heard a string of goodbyes and you pulled your phone out your pocket. You went to messages and started a group chat called  " The three musketeers" that had Dally and Two-Bit in it."Had fun hope to do it again sometimes 😏😝😘" you typed and pushed send as you walked down the street towards your house. Smiling to your self.

#dally winston #dally x reader #two-bit mathews #two-bit x reader #smut #fanfic #the outsiders #the outsiders smut #two-bit imagine #dallas winston in

[survivormagictreehouse]

Episode #5 “I have nothing else to lose at this point” -Jay

-Did I even make a confessional last round??? AHH. Okay so I’m excited with our swap and I think we have a strong tribe but I’m REALLY sad (and not surprised) about Austin leaving. I think that I am on a very strong tribe and I can’t wait to see what happens with it going forward!  Like I can’t bad talk anyone, I like them all. 

-Can we talk about how proud I am of myself for remembering enough information to tell Cindi while she was answering questions? LOL, I had never been so nervous in my entire life so I'm really good that we pulled out a win!  Ali and Collin did such a good job retaining and relaying information.  It is nice to have another day off and I'm really curious to see what Ali decides to do and what the next challenge will be... I don't want this tribe to be broken up yet.   If I do end up swapping I really want to end up on a tribe with Chips.  We played in a game recently AGAINST one another and I'm dying to work with him, like actually work with him so oddly enough, I'm really hoping that he isn't going anywhere! I feel like they will probably go after Timmy or Jay. Right now the person on my tribe I feel like I can talk with the easiest about the game is Ali, he is probably my number one and I feel like I can tell him stuff without it getting passed around the entire tribe.  Do I completely trust him?? NO.  But I do trust him the most haha.  

-I SURVIVED AHHHHHH I GET TO STAY!!!!!!!!! Fuck that was so close and I feel so bad for throwing Austin under the bus but hey, I needed to stay in this game and keep my relationships strong. Plus, voting for Timmy would have looked really shitty to him, after the whole alliance thing. Anyways....Birch is here now! I love them sm and I really look forward to getting to work with them again. As far as I can tell, my best bet of staying is a group of me, Timmy, Zach, Birch and probably Chips. Chips and Zach were so helpful to me this whole day, reassuring me and giving me the information I needed to stay safe. I also called with Timmy just now and we're gonna be sticking together since it's our best option. Its really been a big turn from feeling comfortable in the tribe to fighting to stay, but I'm gonna stay fighting and hopefully make it out of this swap alive.

-I'm trying so fucking hard to stay in this game but right now it feels like a lost cause. Zach sold me out so badly last night and it feels like it's been impossible to recover. I'm trying to get me, Timmy, chips, and birch to all vote Zach but it's feeling less and less like it's actually happening and more like they're just saying it to keep me comfortable. No one is really responding to me anymore and it just feels like this is the end. The only little bit of hope I have is apparently Timmy has heard it's gonna be Birch instead? Seems like a long shot, I don't really want to see them leave, and I'm not gonna push for it. Birch is an indespencible ally and I will go to rocks for them if i have to. I have nothing else to lose at this point.

https://youtu.be/cYEa3LQE6N4

-Going into tonight's tribal, I think I'll be safe and have the votes of Timmy, Jess, Gavin, and Keegan. However, I feel like either Gavin and Keegan could flip (though unlikely) OR an idol could be used on Jay. I guess we shall see though. See y'all on the other side :)

-okay so the og annie tribe lost their marbles and got a 4-3-1? which well. in other news, i died in my other game and mr BODHI on this tribe got me out... very interesting. i was originally gonna punish him and get him out. and i still might. im unsure. he would deserve it tho he is so wishywashy that its infuriating. rn dream alliance is cindi/vi/ruthie/rachael (aka feminism + ali). bodhi was the best to vote for me on a game level and him needless treating me like crap makes that much easier.

-okay hello... so in a crazy plot twist... we won the storytime? i was really proud of my own contribution to the challenge, i passed on a LOTTA info to collin and he did so so good passing it, ruthie SNAPPED when she was so nervous and cindi brought it home. my game has been pretty smooth sailing, two easy votes and now im chilling on the most wholesome tribe ever. should i probably be throwing these challenges to save jay/timmy/austin... maybe... but am i going to... no. im not risking my game life when i see my entire current tribe as long term allies. ideal scenario is that group implodes and sets us up to pick up the pieces at merge... maybe? but also i think we are swapping again before merge, so just adding another challenge with the shakespeare challenge delays me getting jumped by the conglomerate of generic men, birch and jess. my closest ally right now is definitely ruthie, i LOVE ME SOME RUTHIE. vi, cindi, collin, timmy and rachael i also trust to some extent. bodhi i literally would get an indescribable seretonin rush from voting out... i would LOVE the opportunity to jump him in this game. am over that man. but im vibing having fun! still have an idol! and living my BEST life ha. im sorry my confessionals have been underwhelming but my game experience has been pretty smooth sailing so far ha.

-Spill the tea! *It's 1:11AM and I still miss Gavin.

-It's 8:59 PM and I still miss Gavin. prayer circle for Gavin <3

https://youtu.be/JSmJThHF-tU

So I did something. I am not allied with 5/7 people on my tribe. I have the "3 Canadians, oh and the 2 American Hosts" Alliance of me, Jess and Keegan. I am not quite as Loyal to that alliance as I am my new one. But I still don't want to vote them out. If I HAD to I would but i want to keep them. I really like both of them. I just made the "The Jolly Crew" Alliance which is Me, Jay, Timmy Z and Zach. I love this alliance. I vibe really well with Timmy and Jay. I am a little more iffy on Zach but he is really cool! I stan everyone! I guess out of the 2 people left I would prefer to vote out chips? He tends to be kinda inactive and I talk to him the least. IDK I'll go with the numbers, and my alliance.  

Another round, another immunity win. I’m just living life and am happy with how this game is going. Don’t really have to do much but making sure it won’t be me if we eventually do go to tribal.

We lost the challenge despite my best efforts. I think we’re voting Jay

I wish i had something of substance to say but this tribe refuses to go to tribal :/ i've found spots where TWO idols were in the past i think??? lions -> straight ahead -> ask for a tour, and vikings -> small boat -> get on the small boat

Soooooo... we lost the challenge again an' I got kidnapped by the gentlemen o' fortune. love that there fer me! then, to me surprise, right off o' the bat, jay threw me name out. so 'e be essentially dead to me now an' I expect 'im to be leavin' tonight. his blood ‘ill be on me hook after tonight. luckily fer me, I went around an' started spreadin' that there I 'ad 'eard 'e been sayin' me name—and 'e 'ad apparently only said it to zach. so now, the votes be between zach an' jay... an' I could not be 'appier as me name be off o' the table as farrr as I know. so bless to the sky to that there. I be expectin' jay to set sail tonight, but who knows. there been a lot o' talk o' 'im or birch 'avin' an idol or some kind o' advantage (which I believe birch may 'ave something), but I don’t think I be playin' me idol unless I catch wind o' somethin' strange 'appenin'... but me fingers be crossed an' I be goin' to 'ope fer the best.

2nd win and Ali is chucked to the tree house. Gotta do a music video

So the Annie curse strikes again............ wooo. This vote is a bit of a mess but honestly this all works out for me. Jay going ensures that I have Chips/Birch's loyalties moving forward and honestly the more OG Annie people that go the better. I hate the whole tribe lines situation but honestly I'm kind of stuck in it and I think I'm stuck in it for the long haul or at least for now. Zach going ensures I can climb the social rankings of the OG JACK tribe but it also might make me land on the bottom and it would be such a gamble. Do I trust Zach? no. Do I think everything Birch/Jay are saying about Zach is completely true..mhm BUT I need him just for a bit longer at this point. Also if Jay didn't say Gavin's name I probably would risk it and vote out Zach but at this point I can't not vote out someone who is saying my number 1's name... I want another swap because I'm bored of talking to the same people and I need to form some new bonds before merge. 

With me getting one vote last time, I really wanted to secure my spot within my team and was able to talk with Zach and Jess into making an alliance chat with us and Keegan/Gavin. Hopefully jay goes tonight but I’m not to sure. In the challenge bitch was terrible. We are a bit nervous they got an advantage or idol on exile which is why we are telling everyone the vote is birch tonight. Guess we will see how tonight goes

I'm doing lots of house stuff today but I hear there's a mess to be had with Jay versus Zach. I want to vote Zach because he has been acting head honcho but also... dont care too much. Im going to try to force a tie then get blindsided out of the game. Hype energy!

.

.

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The Round 5 Cast Assessment will be combined with Round 6 (on the next episode)

[artificialqueens]

party chapter twelve - shalaska - pureCAMP

A/N - here’s another pathetic apology. it’s been over a month. i am a mess and a ball of stress, and i’m very sorry. i hope you like this<3

btw, a man is mentioned in this. this man is not intended to be chad. i know who chad is. this is not chad. thank u

When Alaska woke up, the bed was empty. She could’ve lain there forever – would have if she hadn’t been alone – but her outstretched arms were grasping at nothing but cold pillows, and she wanted to be grasping at a warm body. She knew she’d fallen asleep encompassed in a warm body, one that was composed of familiar geometric shapes and sharp angles, but that body was gone now. Alaska blinked a few times and sat up, feeling groggy. She could hear voices. One sounded clear and high and female, the other low and rough and male. Part of her wanted to listen, but the other part begged her to lie back once more.

So she did, sinking back down into the pillow and closing her eyes as she listened to the voices grow louder and closer in proximity. The voices should have been instantly recognisable to her; she’d heard those two exact voices arguing and laughing many mornings when they were on tour, but fatigue made her mind foggy. All she could think about was the previous night.

Sharon had said that Alaska ‘didn’t deserve the bad publicity’ that was synonymous with her name. She’d said a lot of things, but that one stuck in her mind. It wasn’t like Alaska didn’t get bad publicity anyway, but she understood where Sharon was coming from. It was only recently that Alaska’s general public view had shifted from liked and loved to loved or hated, whereas Sharon had been a figure of strong controversy and adoration since her win, way back when. It must have been exhausting for her.

Almost absent-mindedly, Alaska reached for her phone to break the cardinal rule of reality TV superstardom. She was guilty of it, almost everyone she knew was guilty of it at some point, and even though it brought nothing but strife it was still an unshakeable urge. To know, to read, to acknowledge.

Anonymous: i know right… she used to be really sweet but then she let all the “fan favourite” fame get to her head and she’s a total snake now. I never understood why everyone loved her anyway, she was so fake on her season. And on as2 she clearly just wanted to keep detox and Roxxxy in the competition, and then she had a meltdown because she was about to be treated the way she treated everyone else. So then what does she do when everyone’s commenting snakes about her and her relevance is crashing down (because who cares about her when you could care about Katya)? She pulls out her last trick and does a show with sharon needles. Sad, really. Sad how she pretends they’re still super good friends and uses her to boost her fame and ego when she needs it. Besides the fact that sharon is a complete dick (look on reddit) it’s obvious that alaska only performs with her because it makes people excited and sharon seems to really like her… gross. Dont use another queen for your own good. Anyone else agree?

197 likes. 445 comments. 3 shares.

Honestly, that was mostly standard. Tons of people thought she was a snake for caring about her friends, and viciously defended Katya – the same Katya who would call her at midnight, giggling because a fly had landed on her baby hands and she’d managed to capture a few seconds of it on snapchat. Those were the deluded kind, and their words about being a snake or undeserving were ones she’d grown used to, and unaffected by.

Even so, the comment riled her up. She hated when fans assumed things about her life that they wouldn’t know. For one, she was friends with Katya. Secondly, how dare they assume she was just using Sharon? How dare they claim disgusting falsehoods from behind their keyboards, hidden warriors declaring that Alaska was using Sharon for her own benefit? They didn’t know that Alaska’s heart had been beating differently since they’d kissed, and how would they? They didn’t know Alaska had been falling hard for the past few months, and Sharon had fallen too, and how would they? They didn’t know that the overdose had shattered a gaping hole in her heart that bled with the worry that it would be too late for their love to survive, and how would they? How could they assume something so blatantly wrong? They knew nothing. Nothing at all.

“-irresponsible. But you already know, so I won’t keep going on. Morning, Lasky.”

Alaska sat up, forcing a smile onto her face to counteract the inevitable anger that came from reading comments about herself and the people she cared about. Michelle looked beautiful as always, her face creased with motherly concern, and Sharon’s pyjama top was undone all the way down, Alaska’s eyes instantly drawn to the sliver of exposed chest.

“I’m being lectured again about being irresponsible and taking drugs. It was an accident! But whatever.” Sharon informed her, and resumed her argument with Michelle.

The woman in question frowned. “How do you accidentally do drugs? You don’t just fall face-first into a pile of powders, Sharon.”

Sharon snorted. “No, you fall purse-first. I didn’t mean that it was an accident that I did coke. That was very much intentional.”

Even through the years of her sobriety, Alaska knew exactly what Sharon meant. It was never an accident. After so long, she still hadn’t forgotten. She never would. Memories like that just didn’t go away. It was seared into her mind forever, the way that the club lights would get brighter and the pounding of the music in her chest would spread to her head, her arms and fingertips, all through her body until she felt nothing and everything at the same time. The way she felt numb yet hyper-sensitive, seeing everything in vivid technicolour that made her ache in a painful but good way.

“She means how much she took.” Alaska said quietly. The memories flashing through her mind were scattered, frayed at the edges and missing chunks, and it made her feel sick. “It’s so stupidly easy to overdose, Michelle. You have no idea.”

Immediately, Sharon’s gaze lowered to her feet. The older queen knew exactly what Alaska was remembering, knew she was reflecting on their old club days.

“You just… you have a little and it’s fun, it feels good, it lowers your inhibitions, and then it wears off after like ten minutes. Ten minutes, that’s it. So you go get more, because you can’t feel it anymore and you want to feel it again. And then you keep doing it, because it lasts a little longer each time and you lose a little more sense every time but it still wears off. You forget that it builds up in your system and… and…”

Alaska couldn’t finish. The image of Sharon, with her dilated pupils and her quivering hands, leaning over the mattress to vomit on the carpet before falling back onto the bed, it was far too raw. Far too real. No matter what happened, no matter how she recovered or how many jokes would be made about it, that moment would never leave her. It had chilled her to the bone.

“You take too much. You overdose. You nearly die and ruin the tour and Christmas and any chance you had at redeeming your fucked-up reputation.” Sharon finished bitterly. “You worry your friends, you worry your mom, you worry anyone who bothered to care for you. It’s so easy, Michelle. It shouldn’t be, but it is.”

Michelle’s brow creased further, warmth and concern evident in her eyes. “Thank god you’re okay now. Why did you in the first place? I know you’re… partial to your illegal substances.”

Sharon bit her plumped lip and fidgeted. “Well, there is the fact that I like it, but… I don’t know. Is there ever a reason? I wanted to go out and party after stressing about the tour and arguments and all of that, and I happen to be a Ru Girl. People will give you anything when you’re a Ru Girl. Of course I said no the way a drag queen does, which sounds like ‘Sure!’ and the rest is drag. History. Her-story. Whatever. I’m alive, at least.”

Her attempt at lightening the mood, tossing in a few jokes to elicit a laugh, didn’t really work. Alaska smiled weakly, mainly out of tact, her emotions mirrored in Michelle’s face. The older woman looked as if she might tear up and hug the life out of Sharon in an instant.

“Right. Is the next rehab session soon?”

Sharon cut in before Alaska could drop a spiel that would keep Michelle happy. “Yeah, but I’m not going.”

“Oh shit,” Alaska muttered under her breath as Michelle’s face went from concerned to angered.

“Let me talk, first. Don’t look at me like that,” Sharon murmured. “I’ll go every now and then, but it’s not necessary. I know why I did it and what led me to that environment – I’m a fucking drag queen. Do I get urges? Yes, but I have Alaska by my side 24/7 to guilt me into being a good girl. I don’t need their goddamn group therapy where John the divorced father of three kids and heroin addict tells us he used to work in a bank. I can make this change on my own.”

Michelle didn’t look convinced, but she nodded. “If you think so. I’m gonna call or visit regularly, to check in. In the meantime, I know you’ve updated your social media, but I think you should speak to your friends who spent Christmas fretting about you.”

Alaska winced, knowing that the worries of their friends was one of Sharon’s biggest guilt-trippers, guaranteed to cause her mood to change. She’d already learnt how to tiptoe delicate around things that could trigger mood swings, but Michelle hadn’t been around to notice.

“Don’t fucking remind me.” Sharon grunted, but Alaska noticed that she reached for her phone from her pocket as Michelle walked out of the house. Her own phone began to buzz as Sharon typed.

-BOTS Ladies ❤-

Sharon: i’m an asshole. Sorry i ruined the tour and xmas.. cunt wait to see you all again when im allowed to be around people again

Phi Phi: jesus i thought you’d never text us

Detox: BITCH!! We were terrified!!

Courtney: don’t ever do that again, shags. I cried when i found out u were ok. Even willam bellend did

Sharon: not really planning on doing it again..

Jinkx: get better soon

Alaska: am i not a person??

Sharon: ur an alien..

Fame: are u two hanging out rn?

Katya: because what u see isn’t always a person

Jinkx: alaska are you with Sharon omg?

Jinkx: michelle told me nothing after u got out of the ER and ICU

Sharon: boo

At the same time that Sharon looked down at Alaska in the bed, Alaska shot her a sheepish smile. Her mind raced, but she really had no idea how else to relax.

Sharon vocalized Alaska’s thoughts. “You just told our friends that we’re currently in the same place, which can literally only be my home.”

Thankfully, the only undertones in her voice were ones of amusement. Sharon collapsed onto the bed next to her, a wide grin spreading onto her face as she watched Alaska try and figure out a response.

“Uh… I guess I did. Oops.” She managed.

Sharon cracked up. “You’re so stupid!” She laughed, shifting under the covers to where Alaska was still sat up. She pushed Alaska so she was also lying down and held both of her hands. “I wanna kiss your idiot face. You mind?”

Alaska chuckled, freeing her hands so she could tug Sharon closer. “My idiot face wants to be kissed.”

In an instant, Alaska completely forgot that she’d slipped up to their friends, because Sharon’s lips were connected with hers. The older queen’s teeth bit into Alaska’s bottom lip, sucking it gently as her hands roamed in her short dark curls. Her touch was soft but insistent, wantonly asking for more whilst keeping the boundaries between them. Flush against her, Sharon was cold from walking around the house, and she curled her body into Alaska’s for warmth and closeness as their tongues entered each other’s mouths. After a few seconds they pulled apart, needing air, and pressed their sweating foreheads against one another. When Alaska opened her eyes, she saw thick dark lashes and bright blue eyes watching her, the tiniest of smiles accompanying their loving gaze.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She panted, breathless. She couldn’t control the smile that made its way onto her face as she took in Sharon’s expression.

Sharon smiled wider. “Looking at you like what?”

“Like you love me.”

The blonde kissed her again, languid and luxurious, as if she had all the time in the world. A quiet gasp escaped from Alaska’s lips, but she was in too much bliss to care.

“Because I do, pumpkin. Every moment I get to kiss you is every kiss I missed out on in four years of fucking up. That’s a lot of lost time to make up for.” Sharon breathed, her gaze never once leaving Alaska’s face. Her skin was flushed red, her lips slightly swollen from kissing, her hair mussed from Alaska’s hands – in short, she’d never looked so beautiful. Alaska’s heart beat faster at the sight of her.

“Four years is a lot of time to make up for.” Alaska repeated, arching her neck as Sharon began to plant kisses along the bottom of her jaw. “Four long years.”

Sharon started concentrating on a spot just underneath the curve of her jawline, sucking at the sensitive skin there. When she was done, she kissed the red mark she’d left.

“I can handle that.” Sharon took a moment to breathe and speak, before instantly getting back to work at Alaska’s jaw and neck. Her facial hair was growing through again, the short, dark stubble, and Alaska knew Sharon had a thing for it. Back when they had been together before, although she had never admitted it out loud, Alaska always noticed the slight increase in affection – mainly kisses on her jawline – when she had facial hair.

“We should do something today.” Sharon said suddenly, nipping at Alaska’s ear.

Alaska laughed at Sharon’s imitation of what she herself used to do when they originally dated. “Like what? Isn’t the next rehab session later today?”

A hint of teasing laced Alaska’s words. She knew there was no way in hell she was going to get Sharon to go another time – at least not in the same week. Just as she expected, Sharon let out a loud whine.

“It’s Thursday! We agreed that I wasn’t gonna go today, don’t make me go back to that suicide-inducing church. They’ll make me speak to the fucking priest, I’ll burst into flames. I mean something fun! Just us.” Sharon’s plea was almost childlike, her feverish touch and hungry lips making way for wide blue eyes and a hopeful expression.

Alaska hummed, deliberately dragging her decision out. “Hmm… all I remember is you saying you’d cook if I didn’t make you go… I don’t know, Noodles.”

“Please!” Sharon begged. “Come on, I never use proper manners. Indulge me.”

“I’m gonna need some more persuasion than that. Indulge me, what? I’m missing some manners there.” Alaska taunted further.

Sharon sighed. “Can you pass me my glasses? I can’t see a goddamn thing.”

Alaska bit back a comment about Sharon’s age, choosing the path to a quiet life. Shifting over, she reached for the table where the blonde’s glasses were sat and managed to hook them onto her finger, practically flinging them at Sharon’s face. Sharon wrinkled her nose, filling Alaska with the uncontrollable urge to kiss it, and put the glasses on.

“There we are.” She said, satisfied, and pulled herself up. She positioned her hands either side of Alaska’s head, moving so her body hovered over hers. Alaska was essentially pinned into place.

“You look prettier when I’m wearing glasses.” Sharon stated, lowering herself down.

Her lips kissed Alaska’s gently, teasing her. She knew the light touch wouldn’t be enough, and Alaska would crave more as she always did. When Alaska tried to lift her head to intensify the kiss, Sharon drew back ever so slightly, so the pressure stayed tantalisingly soft. The ball was in her court.

“Are you persuaded yet?” Sharon breathed, not giving Alaska the chance to respond before resuming her unbearably gentle kiss. Alaska found herself shaking her head.

“You’re not? Okay, what about this?”

Sharon withdrew suddenly, and Alaska moaned at the loss of her warmth above her. She waited desperately for something else, something more, allowing her to get her own way and enjoy her time with Sharon.

What she received instead was entirely unexpected; a pair of strong red hands scrabbling at her sides, her stomach, under her arms, tickling her. Alaska shrieked and flailed, uncontrollable laughter escaping from her as she writhed about. Sharon knew all of her weak spots – a four year relationship had ensured that – and she abused them all, delighting in the squeals of laughter she was causing and joining in with a few joyful chuckles of her own.

“FINE! FINE! FINE! WE CAN DO S-S-SOMETHING! YOU DON’T HA-HAVE TO GO!” Alaska giggled, practically yelling the words. “FREE ME! L-LET ME GO!”

Instantly upon her surrender, Sharon laughed and leaned down again to kiss her, this time properly. Her weight on top of Alaska – lighter due to her stay in hospital – was comforting, and when they pulled apart, Alaska grinned dumbly.

“Your glasses bumped my nose.” She complained, rubbing the little red mark they’d left. “Have you got any ideas of what you want to do today?”

Sharon smiled, pushing them up with her middle finger. “Your nose bumped my glasses. I actually don’t know. We could just see if there’s anything to do and make something out of the day.”

“I like that.”

-

Appearing in public with Sharon wasn’t new to Alaska, especially not when they were in drag. Appearing with public in Sharon out of drag happened a few times, generally during BOTS or with friends, never really alone. Appearing with Sharon out of drag, in public, in Pittsburgh, with the knowledge that there was some kind of relationship-but-not-relationship happening behind the scenes? Alaska didn’t really know how to act.

The city had practically become a hive for fans of strange, weird, underground drag to flock to, or just fans of Sharon, Alaska and the Haus of Haunt. The two didn’t dare to hold hands or come across as too affectionate, because they just never knew who was going to see them. Not all drag race fans were skinny white twinks obsessing over Jeffree Starr, and all it would take was a single sneaky picture from a fan of the two acting differently to spark even more online drama. Alaska wanted to avoid as much of the drama as possible, even if Sharon had already added to it,

Thankfully, their walk down the streets of Pittsburgh had been fairly uneventful. No one really gave them a second look, not caring or not knowing who they were. Alaska knew the city had a great sense of pride for the two of them, but in the daytime they weren’t really stars. The true reverence was at night, in full paint, under the sweltering lights of a club. As two fairly ordinary looking guys, minus a little bit of Botox,  there was no point in staring. Unlike when they were in drag, there was really nothing to see.

“This feels so weird. We worked so hard to never be seen with each other.” Sharon mused. “I spent ages wanting to be with you and now it’s happened, it feels strange. Get what I mean?”

Alaska nodded. “Completely. I was just in denial, and now-”

“We’re here.” Sharon finished.

There was something symbolic about it, simply walking through the city. It was pleasant enough to walk around, enjoying the peace, but there was more to it. Every step felt like retracing an old memory – drunkenly stumbling down the road after a long show, kissing for the first time in the shelter of the bus stop when it rained, dates back when no one cared to learn their names. They’d come full circle, in a way. They were back where it had all started.

As they walked into the lesser-populated parts of the city, the amount of people thinned. The occasional group of kids skated past, but other than that, it was mostly empty. A few people walked past, but not enough for Alaska to feel too exposed. She slipped her hand into Sharon’s, smiling bashfully as Sharon gave hers a squeeze and didn’t object. For some reason, Alaska felt her heart swell. Sharon didn’t mind her showing a little bit of affection in public. Maybe things were changing.

Caught up in conversation, Alaska didn’t even notice the man walking in their direction until they collided, momentarily leaving Alaska dizzy. She opened her mouth, ready to apologise, and stopped when she saw Sharon’s expression.

The blonde looked shell-shocked, her lips parted slightly as she and the stranger stared each other down. Alaska tried to search for something familiar about him, but found nothing in his brown eyes, ruffled black hair, and lean build.

“Aaron. Good to see you.” He said, his voice expressionless.

Alaska frowned. Hardly anyone called Sharon Aaron. In fact, Alaska had only heard Michelle call her Aaron once, and that was in the hospital after just over half a decade of knowing her. Even Alaska herself usually called her Sharon. It was strange hearing her referred to as Aaron.

“You too, Mark.” Sharon replied, her voice even. Mark turned to Alaska, and Sharon quickly filled her in. “Alaska, this is Mark… my ex-fiancé. Mark, you know Alaska.”

Mark pursed his lips, his eyes cold. His gaze fell onto their entwined fingers. “I do know Alaska. You’ve reunited?”

Sharon coughed. “Let’s not do this, Mark. I really don’t want to do this.”

A sense of protectiveness welled up inside Alaska. Sharon’s voice was quiet, totally unlike herself. She seemed stripped of her confidence, something Alaska had been trying her best to preserve and build up since the overdose.

“Funny, I recognise those words from the night you told me I wasn’t good enough. He’ll get cold feet and leave you, the way he left me.”

Mark directed the last part towards Alaska, who glared at him. How dare he?

“You know it wasn’t like that.” Sharon sighed. “Things weren’t working. I was unhappy.”

Involuntarily, her grip on Alaska’s hand tightened. Alaska had had enough.

“Back the fuck up, Mark. It’s not your place to tell Sharon what makes her happy or criticise her for pursuing her own happiness. The last thing she needs right now is you stressing her out by being an asshole.” She spat.

Mark narrowed his eyes. “Oh? You care about her wellbeing? Again, funny how we broke up, you started talking again and then she took an overdose. I’m not saying it was intentional, but I’m saying that she’s always been good at lying.”

“That’s not true!” Sharon insisted, fiercely defending Alaska more than herself. “Don’t listen to him. Come on, let’s just get out of here.”

Mark scowled. “You’re good at brainwashing people, Aaron. I never knew you could do it to the same person twice. Thank god I got free from it.”

Without another word, Mark continued walking down the street, and Alaska tugged Sharon along, desperate to distract her from what had just happened. Sharon had told her back in the hotel room months ago that she’d had a fiancé she couldn’t bring herself to marry. No doubt Alaska had been mentioned, judging by Mark’s hostility towards the pair. Alaska recalled Sharon admitting that she couldn’t bring herself to say she loved him.

“Sharon?”

“Yeah?”

Alaska hesitated, but pushed on. “I love you.”

There was a long pause. Oh, shit, Alaska thought. I’ve gone and fucked it up now. This was going to be the part when Sharon couldn’t say it back, was just enjoying their hands-free, no stress thing they had going on. Perhaps Alaska had it twisted. But no, she was overreacting. Or was she? Sharon didn’t love her. But she did! She’d spent so long saying so. What if things had changed? Alaska was freaking out. The silence dragged on for what feel like hours, each second that ticked past stabbing into Alaska like a knife.

“I love you too.” Sharon responded. “I like saying that as long as I’m saying it to you.”

Alaska pulled the shorter queen into a whirlwind kiss, wrapping her arms around her and tilting her face upwards before letting her go and smiling.

“Shall we just go home? I can call a cab if you’re gonna find it hard to walk all the way back.”

Sharon brought Alaska’s hand to her lips and kissed it. “Whatever you want. I need to start thinking about you more.” Alaska’s insides felt warm, but something wasn’t right. A gust of cold wind on the back of her neck, a mosaic out of place in a beautiful picture. Everything was perfect but something just didn’t feel right. A feeling of foreboding began to encroach.

#purecamp #sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #shalaska #willam belli #courtney act #michelle visage #rpdr fanfiction #submission #party by purecamp

[giraffefactoryarchive]

Alright under the cut I’m going on a rant or whatever about things that have been destroying me lately. I’m not doing this for attention (something a person who wants attention would say I know...), but because I really need some way to actually get all this shit out of me and not bottle it the hell up. So I’m sorry, you don’t have to read this if you don’t want to or anything, but I don’t mind if you do. Either way, this is gonna be a bit all over the place probable so bear with me.

Alright so first thing’s first. I hate myself. Like I really really hate myself, which isn’t anything special compared to like half of us on this site. My friends and teachers always tell me about how great a person I am and how I always try hard and be respectful and nice and stuff. But I think I’m a shit person. The shit I’ve done sticks with me in ways I can’t believe it doesn’t stick with other people. My parents got mad at me months ago about a huge shitty thing I had done and they’re past it. And any normal person would be past it. But almost every day I still think about, how I was so shitty for doing it, and how I was and still am a shitty person. I’m so fucking disgusted with the shit I did in the past and shit I do know and the shit I know I’m going to do in the future. And I know everybody makes mistakes and that’s okay but it never feels okay? Every mistake I make is just another thing that makes me understand more and more how disgusting an individual I am and how I don’t deserve any of the shit I have. 

And that’s another thing. My parents do such nice stuff for me and so do my friends and I just have such a good life, so why the hell am I so fucking depressed and self hating? I don’t deserve to hate myself this much and complain about my life because my life is stellar compared to so many other people. Which makes me feel guilty and makes me hate myself even more. I feel guilty writing this damn post because I feel like I don’t deserve to rant about all these problems when other people are so worse off. I get that you’re not supposed to compare your levels of struggle with others too because it’s all valid but I can’t help feeling like my problems are minuscule when my own friends have lives ten times worse then mine.

Something too that I struggle with is being able to talk about this stuff with my friends and stuff. Like I know a few of my friends will listen and try to help and be nice. Hell I’ve had a few of them literally come up to me and say like “hey man you seem like something’s bothering you are you okay?” and I look them dead in the fucking eyes or text back in full confidence “yeah im fine, just tired haha.” If I had a dime for every fucking time I said I was tired I’d be set for life. I just can’t handle opening up emotionally to my friends like that. Because here’s the thing, I’m the funny friend, I’m the happy friend, I’m the friend that’s always good for a laugh and trying to be positive or humorous. So how can I just take a 180, ditch the joke mode and tell my friends how I wanna fucking die every day? Like no I’m just gonna keep on laughing with them and joking about whatever it is we all find funny rather than show the slightest bit of emotion because that’s not the person they signed up to be friends with. They didn’t be my friend to hear my morbid thoughts, they like my more positive personality. I also kind of take the role of the friend who listens to people to. My friends always come to me with their problems and talk about this stuff and I want to be there for them. I love being there for them, I really enjoy being able to make them feel heard and to help them out when they need someone. And it’s hard for me to then force them into the position that I voluntarily take, even if they ask me if I need to talk to them. Not to mention that it puts me in a light that both of us are uncomfortable with (sorry Jess that some of this is p much quoted from my texts to you). Like I feel it makes me look like this sulking, sad person that for one, makes me so uncomfortable for people to me as. And two, it makes the other person feel really awkward that their friend is like breaking down in front of them. I just wish I could talk to people.

Also, I miss my dogs I really miss them so much. I have a new puppy now and I love him so much but I can’t help but think about my old dogs. Two of them died withing a week of each other almost to the day and the other died maybe a couple months after that. That was honest to god one of the worst times in my whole life. I shut people out because I was so depressed and I stopped talking to my friends. Here’s the thing. This wasn’t just a dog dieing to me. This was three dogs that died SO CLOSE to each other. And these were the dogs I’ve grown up with, the first dogs I have ever known and loved. And what made it so much worse was each death was extremely painful in it’s own unique way. Quincy was the first dog I’ve ever owned that I am old enough to remember being put down. The day I saw him unable to move properly on his own killed me because I knew that his life wasn’t good anymore and he couldn’t function and we had to put him down. So having that happen was the worst. Then Belle, she died only a week late so I hadn’t recovered at all. And what made it worse was that she died while I was at school and I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to pet her one last time or see her one last time or anything. I pet her the night before and then she was fucking god forever and I will never be able to have complete closure on that. And then Koda, my very last childhood dog. His was probably the most fucked up because we didn’t put him down. We didn’t let him slowly go with us all petting him and saying goodbye. I took him out to go to the bathroom and he was excited with all the snow so I let him run around and enjoy it and when I took him back to the front door he just collapsed. I thought he had just slipped on the ice but he wouldn’t get back up and I didn’t know what to do and I remember pounding on the front door so my dad would come but it was already too late and he was dieing right in front of me and I couldn’t do anything. So what am I supposed to do when all three of my childhood dogs die right after another in the most fucked up ways I could’ve imagined. And when I tried to talk to my friends about it they obviously got very uncomfortable, gave me a quick “oh sorry about your loss that sucks man I’m sorry” and then we just moved on. And I don’t blame them, what can they do, but it made me feel so awkward and so shitty for so many reasons. 

Then there’s my gender which I don’t even know man. I legit thought I was a girl for a while so I told some close friends a name and pronouns to use when it was just us but not too long ago I fucking realized that’s not me and I don’t want to tell them that I’m not a girl because I don’t want them to think that I was lieing (though I guess this is me telling you know if you're reading this so there you go im not a girl you can call me Logan and shit). But I don’t know if I’m a boy either. He pronouns don’t really bother me but I think I might be nonbinary if anything. But I’m still discovering this out so I won’t get into it. Just know my name’s Logan and you can use he pronouns or they idgaf. Just don’t use she or that other name if you’re reading this because that’s not really me anymore.

God there’s so much more I want to talk about like my fucking relationships and how shitty I was in each one of them and other stuff, but I think I’m gonna end this here. Thanks for reading if you did, it really does mean a lot to me.

#my shit

[thefatedmeeting]

i tweeted a lot abt the concert yesterday and i translated it to eng so i coudl send it to meg so im gonna just paste it here for the record. warning: im very excited

okay. the tweets start after i got in the hotel from the show so ill translate them all hsdfgj

everyone i cant stay here for a long time cuz the wifi sucks and im really nuts but im so dead i have no words guys idk i cant believe i saw my sons live sdkfjsdf

the choreos and dances and them speaking portuguese and jin and suga and hoseok crying im emo

i was kinda far away, i couldnt see their faces neatly but i could identify their body shape and im so emo

them saying they were happy to come and they wwanted to come more frequently and they were sad to go and jin (THE GUY FROM AWAKE) saying he feels better bec of the fans im :(((((

when suga and namjoon sang their solos i was almost crying tbh kfdjd

and taehyung was wearing that bandana, this man is truly trying to kill me sdfsdf

im gonna be that guy but tae's choreos were super beautiufl and i am very fuckenigh in love

i wanted to talk abt my day and the queue and abt my sons more, but im super tired soo GOOD NITE

there were sooooooooo many people, so many fuckin people, the biggest queue of my life skdjfsdf and a lot of young ppl too damn. but it was so beautiful, the fans and the boys singing together :((( im emo

i woke up super early, i was like so fuckin sleepy sdkfjsdf we boarded the plane etc, the trip was nice, i was super nervous but we arrived well, already in the plane i spotted a lot of fans sdkfjsdf

when the plane landed it kinda shook a little and a girl SHRIEKED a nervous laugh i had to fuckfign laugh out loud it was so funny dfjkgdfhgfdh

okay so we got to the hotel, tehre were armys there too, wow guys there were so many armys in sao paulo you kick a lamppost and 10 would pop out

our hotel room was super simple but it was good, and comfortable. the bed was a+++++++++

me and my sis went out for lunch then we went to the concert venue, i was super nervous but thanks to the medicine i got better sdkfjskjdf man. when we got there the queue was HUGE. the biggest queue of my life

there WERE SO MANY PEOPLE SERIOUSLY and a lot of young ppl, like even babies. there was a baby who was jiimin's fan i was like sdlffj

there were ppl selling merchandise too it was the biggest amt of bts stuff ive evers een in my life in one place holy shit. i loved it tho i wish i couldve bought a t shirt or something as a token but i only bought myself a bandana rip sdkfjsdkfjskfsd anyway, we stood there for like HOURS we arrived at like 3pm until fuckin 7pm my legs are all dead, i woke up w a cramp last night sfgdfg

while the queue moved i talked to armys, everyone was so fuckin excited they started yelling JHOOOOOOOPE AND SCREAMING OUTTA NOWHERE I WAS LIKE WHATS HAPPENIGNG

THERE WERE PPL IN THE QUEUE FOR THE \NEXT DAY\ DUDE. IT WAS RAINING SLIGHTLY LIKE PLEASE REST FRIENDS DONT DO THIS DSFGDG

i found it funny that the merchandise sellers (?) researched bts so hard, they were using fan lingo ksdjflsdkjfs ive never seen this holy shit. it felt like idk those anime cons i used to go on high school, except times 10000000 and with like more excitable ppl

after we entered the venue, ppl started singing, sometimes there was a drone recording stuff, and at some point their staff came over to take pictures

i was trying to find my friends but i was so fuckening lost and they were out of the venue still sdfsdfsdfsdf

at some point it turned into a single person queue (?) and then my friend found me thanks to me jumping and some fan's mom lending me her umbrella so i could spin it sdkfjsdf

anyway <3 me and gabs started talking abt the show, the boys, the fans, life universe and everything else. shes so sweet. i adopted her as my second sister xoxo

the queue was so big it went around the fuckin block, smh. when we got to the venue we started getting hyped sdlfkjsdlkfjsdf we managed to enter nicely, then we got up super nuts and IT WAS SO NICE INSIDE THERE

we got to a nice place in the front except it wasnt our assigned seats so we had to split up later sdkfjsdf but damn, it filled up super quick, i was shocked. i could see the stage quite nicely, i kinda regret not seeing their faces properly but i SAW them and i died and i emotionally hugged all of them so tiengo nada a perder sdfsdf

OKAY SO i filmed so many things. i was like trying to watch the concert, looking at the stage, looking at the screens, yelling, singing and filming skdfjsdf

when they started showing the mvs i was HYPED everyone was already singing and it was hard to not get into that excited vibe

AND THEN AN OPENING VIDEO STARTED AND I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT ITS STARTING

IT OPENED W NOT TODAY AND IM SDLFHALFHALFHALKHALFKAHD AND EVEYRONES STARTED GETTING UP ON THEIR FEET AND IWAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK GUYS I WANNA STAY SEATED BUT I HAD NO CHOICE, EVERYONE WAS STANDING ALL THE TIME SO I HAD TO DO IT TO SEE THINGS SDKFJSDF

THEY STARTED TALKING AND I COULDNT HEAR ANYTHING THERE WERE SO MANY PPL SINGING AND YELLING IT WAS HARD. I SORTA GOT THE "BRAZIL" AND "TAO CURTINDO (ARE YOU LIKING IT)" AND TAE SAYING "AMAMOS VOCES/ WE LOVE YOU"

LATER I FOUND OUT JHOPE SIAD BRAZIL WAS THE ONLY COUNTRY IN THE TOUR THAT SOLD OUT AND I WAS EMMO THEY LOOKED SO HAPPY

AT FIRST they looked tired but later they got excited bec the fans were... like so hyped sdflksdf

THEN CAME AM I WRONG, BAPSAE AND DOPE AND I DIED SDLFKSJDF THE CHOREOS BRO I WAS LIKE HOW CAN THEY DANCE LIKE THAT FOR REAL I CANT BELIEVE IT

it was so nice to hear everyone singing and yelling ogether it felt like we were performing with them too! dude idk i was emo

THEN CAME BEGIN AND JUNGKOOKS CHOREO AND IML IEK WHAT THE FUCK DUDE HOW CAN U DANCE LIKE THIS TEACH ME? BITHC

THEN JIMIN'S DANCE AND I DIED TOO GODDAMN! his dancing style is super smooth and sensual and like, the sense of weight is so light i die

it was so cool to hear ppl yelling their names, holy shit man sdkfjsdf

THJEN I THOUGHT STIGMA WAS COMING UP BUT SUGA CAME UP W FIRST LOVE AND I DEIED WITH THE PIANO HOYL SHIT DUDE THE COMBINATION OF THE VIDEO BEHIND HIM AND HIM RAPPING AND THE TONE OF THE SONG I WAS ALMOST CRYINFG DUDE IDK GABS LATER TOLD ME SUGA HAD CRIED AND I WAS LIKE BITCH ME TOO

THEN CAME UP LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST REPRESENTING ME BEC I WAS  SO LOST IN SAO PAULO HOYL SHTI SDKFJSDF

THEN SAVE ME CAME UP!!! AND HOLY SHIT I WENT HNUTS BECAUSE SAVE ME INTRODUCED ME TO THEM!!!! AND I DIED BEC TRHE TRANSITION FROM SAVE ME TO I NEED U WAS SOO GOOD IN THE END OF SAVE ME'S CHOREO THEY GO DOWN AND I NEED U STARTS W THEM RISING UP I DIED

THEN REFLECTIONNNNNNNNNN CAME UPPPPPP AND I WAS EMO AGAIN THE VIDEO AND NAMJOON OH YM GOD GUYS AND THEN HE SAND "I WISH I COULD LOVE MYSELF" AND EVERYONE ELSE SANG "WE LOVE YOU" BACK TO HIM AND HE GOT ALL CHOKED UP HOLY SHIT DUDE IM EMO TOO I IWHS I COULD EMOTIONALLY SUPPORT THESE KIDS THAT SUFFER WITH THE RUSH OF THE IDOL LIFE BUT IF THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD IM HAPPY AS FUCK

SO BITCH. STIGMA COMES UP AND I ALREADY AM DEAD AND DYING AND SINGING ALONG AND TAE'S HIGH NOTE CAME UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP IM STILL SCHJOPKEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

AND THEN COMES MAMA!!!!!!!! HOSEOKS KID PHOTOSSSD FSDFSDF AND THE FANS SINGING ALONG HOLY SHIT GUYS AT THE TIME OF THE BREAK HE STARTED MAKING A CRYING FACE AND A CHOKED UP VOICE AND  IALMOST CRIED WITH HIM

AND THEN JIN CAME BUPPPPP IM ALWAYS EMO WITH AWAKE BEC HE THINKS HES TALENTLESS AND HAS NO HABILITY BUT TDUDE EVERYONE SCREAMED HIS NAEM AND THE HIGH NOTESS I WAS KIKEAAAAAAAAAA BITHCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AFTER THAT I THINK THERE WAS CYPHER 4 AND THATS WHEN I TRULY LOST IT FUCK! THERES NO WAY TO SCREAM AND SING ALONG W CYPHER IDK DUDE IT WAS SO FUN TO GO OFF IT WAS ONE OF THE PERFORMANCES I LIKED THE MOST W THE FANS, AFTER SPRING DAY

THEN CAME UP FIRE AND IDIED W THE CHOREO, NOTHING NEW, AS ALWAYS I DIED THANKS. THEN THEY STOPPED AND I HEARD RAPMON ASKING IF WE WERE ENJOYING IT AND I DIED ALREADY LISTNEING TO IT COULDNT EVEN HEAR THEM, I HAD HEARD THEM TALK A BIT MORE TOO BUT I COULDNT MAKE ANYTHING OUT OF IT CUZ THEY WERE LIKE "SDJFSDF ??" AND EVERYONE SCREAMED AT IT

THEN THE MASHUP CAME UPGPPPPPPP I WAS SCREMAING SO MUCH ESP AFTER NO MORE DREAM. I FORGOT TO MENTION BUT BAPSAES DANCE BREAK KILLED ME TOO. AND THE CONFETTI IN RUNNNNNNNNNNNN I WAS EMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THEN 21 CENTURY GIRLS CAME UP AND I COULDNT STOP LOOKING AT TAE IDK HE SEESM TO DANCE THAT SONG RLLY NICELY AND IM WEAK

THEN THEY TALKED W US AGAIN AND I HEARD ONE OF THEM SAY THAT CONCERT WOULD ENTER THEIR STORY AND IT WAS THERE JIN SAID HE FELT BETTER BEC OF THE FANS, REFERRING TO AWAKE. FBITCH

THEN THEY COME UP W BOY MEETS EVIL AND IM SDLÇFKJSDFLKJSDF AND THEN BLOOD SWEEAT AND TEARS I COULDNT STOP LOOKING AT THE CHOREO HOLY SHIT WHAT A SONG!!! I HAD HEARD NAMJOON SAY BEFORE BOY MEETS EVIL THAT IT WAS THEIR LAST SONG BUT I WAS LIKE NAHHH U LYIN

BUT AFTER A LARGE PAUSE THERE WAS WINGS AND 2!3! I DONT REMEMBE RHTE ORDER BUT HOL FUCKING SHIT I ALMOST CRIED IN WINGS, CLAPPING DYIGNH IDK

THEN THEY CAME UP W SPRING DAYYY AND HOLY SHIT THE FANS SINGING AFTER IT ENEDDED I ALMOST CRIED AGAIN THE BOYS WERE ALL EMO AND IM LIKE BITCH ME TOO HUG ME. JIN WAS ACTUALLY CRYING

THEN THEY TALKED ABT BRAZIL I DONT REMEMBER MUCH BUT THEY SAID THEY WANTED TO COME HERE AGAIN, MORE FREQUENTLY, THEY WERE SAD TO GO AND THEY CALLED THE FANS THEIR WINGS. AND I FORGOT THAT BITCHING VIDEO THEY SHOWED UP BEFORE WINGS

SPEAKOING OF THE "BOY WHO GROWS UP" AND OF THE BOYS UNITED AND THE SEVEN HEARTS INSIDE ONE, AND ONE HEART UNITED WITH SEVEN AND IM LIKE "EGFAYUHFAUFHE LET ME SIT DOWN I CANT RISE UP AFTER THAT ONE" JESUS CHRIST DUDE WHAT ATHE FUCK I CANT RECOVER FROM THAT

AFTER THE CONCERT I FOUND GABS OUTSIDE, SHE HELPED ME FIND MY SIS SDKFJSDF THEN WE FOUND BIA AFTER SOME STRUGGLING SHE WAS SOOO OUT OF IT CUZ SHE SAW THEM FROM UP CLOSE . THEN WE WENT BACK TO THE HOTEL MY SWEET SISTER BOUGHT ME A BURGER KING SO I WOULDNT BE HINGRY AND I WAS LIKE EATING RLLY OUT OF IT

I SLEPT NICELY. LIKE, NOT 100% BUT NICELY. WOKE UP W NO VOICE AT ALL AND A BITCHING CRAMP IN MY LEGS SDSFS WE WENT TO A FAMOUS PARK LATER AND ITTWA S SUPER NICE WE BIKED ALONG IT AND MY LEGS DIED BUT I WAS A HAPPY MAN SDLFJSDF

ANYWAY WE WENT ABC KTO THE AIRPORT AND IT WAS COOL. I DIDNT THINK I WOULD LOVE THEM MORE THAN I CURRENTLY DO BUT AFTER THIS CONCERT I CAME UP AT A NEW LEVEL IM SUPER OUT OF IT DUDE. WOKE UP TODAY AND IT STILL FEELS LIKE IM THERE I LEFT PART OF MY SOUL THERE

#long post - #LIKE FOR REAL. A LONG POSTSD FSDFSFD #mine #bts #bts concert