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sunsetandthemoon · 1 year

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saw in your tags you mentioned earthmix were in a serious fight while filming moonlight chicken? what's the story there? (ty in advance if you answer this and np if you don't :) )

Hii. Ok, so, while I do follow them on Instagram and Twitter, I never noticed anything until they talked about it during the MLC promo a few weeks ago, so I definitely don't know the full story, but here is a short summary of all the information that I’ve managed to gather from Twitter.

Apparently, there was a 4-5 month period last year where Earth and Mix were fighting (so-called their “divorce era”). It started with them going from constantly hanging out together to never interacting with each other anymore and fans quickly noticed something was up. Then this video from the MLC set was posted and it only further fueled all the speculations (it looks like a perfectly normal video to me tbh but to some, it looked like Mix was angry or like he was sulking 🤷)

They also had a few work events during that time and fans reported a noticeable tension between them. There was also a lot of subtweeting and indirecting on their social media including posts like this:

which is funny considering this is how they described each other in an interview once

("am I still your flower" is absolutely sending me 💀)

some more Mix retweets x/x

Earth even posted this on his insta story

and then, during the Oishi Magic Of Zero trip, they seemed to have finally gone back to their normal selves (x)

they even acknowledged the fight and said that they had made up and that everything was okay between them again (x/x)

and everyone was happy for them including P'Godji who posted this video (x)

Mix even posted this on his story

which may or may not have been a reference to this scene from ATOTS

then, during their interviews recently, they talked a bit more about their fight (x) (their poor manager 😭)

and P'Aof even teased them about it by saying "the hard part for me is, I wanna work with them when they aren’t fighting with each other" when EM were asked what were the easy/hard parts of working together on three different series (x)

speaking of P’Aof, I need to include this bit from MLC bts where he forgot Jim and Wen weren’t supposed to kiss each other during their sex scene in ep1 because it’s just so funny like dhfjhsdjkd

P‘Aof: *after watching them unnecessarily devour each other five takes in a row while knowing damn well they’re in the middle of their divorce era* “whoops my bad 🤭 please don’t kill me” 😂😂😂😂

(x)

anyway - TLDR - Moonlight Chicken was filmed during their divorce era and they were spending their days filming scenes like this

only to then go home and start subtweeting and shading each other online at the end of the day 😂

but they're making up for it now by being inseparable and constantly posting about each other. there are too many moments to link but here are some honorable mentions: x/x/x/x

including these posts from last night x/x

#anonymous #earthmix #moonlight chicken #oh man you should see my twitter search now after trying to find all these tweets dhfjkdshk #big shoutout to YILOVEY for always providing all the translations #i couldn't find more indirects but i know there are a lot more since i saw people talking about them #they really said yes we're having a fight and we'll make it everyone's problem lmaoo

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hualian-blessing · 2 years

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tw// grooming allegations

about the dream allegations? im sorry but i cant fully believe amanduh's case because she has so many holes in her story to the point that she's also destroying her own case as well. i had a talk with my friend who was groomed for years and they told me what a victim usually acted when sharing their story.

i cant say if the victims should act like that all the time when exposing someone for grooming but it was really sus that she wasn't, uh how should i say this, emotional i guess???

(edit: i phrased that so bad but what im trying to say is that everyone has a different reactions to grooming but from amanduh's video, (i showed it to my friend after so that they'll the one who will judge her instead of me) both my friend and i noticed how she doesn't really put her heart into it in a sense? it's along that line technically but still not all victims have the same reaction as my friend.)

other than that, a lot of people were pointing out how the math ain't mathing with the story.

first, she said that she was turning 18 when dream texted her and allegedly started sexting her but in one of her tweets, she said that she just turned 17 last year. which is really confusing and downright idiotic if she lied about her age.

second, she said that she was with her boyfriend during the years 2020 to 2021 thus she stopped texting dream at that time range. but here's what confused me, she herself said that her and her boyfriend met at april 2022 tho??? someone might ask "but bella, this boyfriend might be the different one!!!" no, she didn't have an ex. she could have explicitly said "ex", "ex boyfriend" or "current boyfriend at that time" and her boyfriend confirmed that he was already with her when the dream situation happened.

third, she was still following dream up until today when people noticed that she made that post but still kept up to date with his life happenings in twitter. in fact, she was defending and liking posts about dream's face reveal no less than a week and few days ago. if she was a victim of his grooming, shouldn't she unfollowed and blocked him in all of his social media platforms??? make it make sense. (photos aren't mine, i forgot who the user is because of the sheer idiocy i witnessed).

fourth, she tried to get keemstar of all people to cover her case instead of going to literal lawyers if she wanted everyone to hear her and the "victims" voices. if she really want to make a credible case, she should hold her cards close to her chest instead of showcasing the evidences in the internet before she could even take legal actions against dream. it's literally the best and most logical action she could have done instead of this.

fifth, she already has a record of being...weird online?? like this photo for example is literally just crazy for me to read...i literally can't take face value if she's like this.

i also saw people how the first girl before amanduh already admitted that her claims were fake and i wont be surprised if this one is fake as well. look im not a die hard fan or a stan of dream but i do watch his content and my friend (from earlier) does so as well, and they're downright pissed at this situation because these girls might have destroyed the chances for actual victims of grooming to speak up about their own situations. all for what? clout? it disgusted me and my friend to see people using this serious matter for something so cruel and malicious. i used to believe on the "believe the victim first and foremost" but after the amber heard case and then this, i would be more on "listen and criticize if the victim's claims are true".

to the girls who made these claims and proven to be false, i hope you have a fun time in hell after all of this.

but if it was ever proven that dream literally did it, then i'll retract my statement and remove myself from the internet to reflect.

either way, only time will tell and i hope everything clears up.

edit: no way is amanda fr rn. cuz holy fuck the story is so messy right now, first with avril then anna. and i saw accounts saying amanda did the same thing to sapnap, bad, skeppy and boomer before and im like wtf is going on???

#mcyt #dsmp #dream allegations #dreamwastaken #dream #mcyttwt #allegations #you can tell how ridiculous all of this is

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c00kiejar · 4 months

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This song...

I've never really made a proper post before, just shitposts and the occasional art thing. I want to make one to properly express how I feel right now and why this song represents it perfectly. I will warn you first, however, that this mentions a certain YouTuber who was recently completely destroyed on Twitter and my personal experience as a viewer, and may delve into some not-too-happy thoughts

Still here? Let's dive in

It all starts way back when I was still a kid. I was navigating the wonderful site known as YouTube, trying to find videos on videogames and, specifically, I think it was Super Paper Mario. I had no idea how to beat Chapter 2-3 (the Ruby debt one), and I needed help. That's when I stumbled across a YouTuber called Chuggaaconroy (a.k.a. Emile). The way he provided all the information I needed in one video was exactly what I needed. I couldn't subscribe to his channel because I didn't have a Google account, so I just periodically checked his channel, eventually learning he uploaded every day at 5 PM, perfect for younger me. I'd watch his videos when they came out, loving every single one. I eventually discovered his collab channel, The Runaway Guys, and loved that channel even more. He, Proton Jon (Jon) and NintendoCapriSun (Tim) entertained me for YEARS with their content. I even branched out into Jon's streaming community, becoming a semi-regular artist on the booru for a time (you can still find my stuff there under the name TehSm1tty. Not my best work, but I still like some of it). Years come and go, and I have my fair share of mental health troubles, but I'd always find Emile, Jon, and Tim there to brighten my days.

Fast forward to sometime last week. I've been pretty inactive on Twitter aside from my alts, but I decided to see what was popping on main. I log in and get recommended a post with the hashtag "WeStandWithChugga". I had no idea what was going on, so I looked into it. I won't go into detail here, but the jist of it is that Emile was a total creep to many women and even drove wedges between himself and good friends because of this weird behavior. There's a lot more to this than just that, but the point is that it shattered my view of him. I knew he was pushy and that always kinda annoyed me, but the extent of it broke me. For a few days now, I've been having a rough go of it. I mean, my childhood YouTuber just got outed as a complete creep and has some serious allegations of being at least a lolicon, at worst a pedo. I've been down and out for days, and it just wouldn't stop. That is, until I found out that Tim has a Reddit account. I never knew this (or, well, maybe I did and just forgot. Idfk), and was amazed to learn that Tim's been keeping Reddit updated on what he's able/willing to share. Turns out Emile's getting the help he needs at a legit mental hospital and that he's ok. That's what made everything stop. Hearing he's ok. After all the shit Emile has done, he's still a human being and doesn't deserve to have the whole internet turn on him in a fraction of a second. Hearing a fellow human is ok made me feel better. I'm not letting him off the hook, and I do not believe he should ever be forgiven for what he's done, but if he is willing to better himself and become a better person, I am more than willing to believe in that Emile.

Now to come to roughly 40 minutes ago. I decide to boot up Satisfactory and play a bit, but I have no idea what to listen to while I do. I put on a song but quickly get bored of it, and then I see "OMORI | Do You Remember? | Extended" in my recommendations. I put it on and instantly, as if I were splashed in the face by water, I wake up and feel better. I was still stressed about everything going on (I'm set to go to college in September, AND my folks are headed to Mexico in about a week, so I'm stressed from those too), but with the first note on the piano, everything faded. All my swirling negative emotions were replaced with a somber peace. I'm still hurt by the last week's revelations, and I'm never going to truly recover (who could?), but I'm moving on. I think my comment on the video describes how I feel best; "The sad yet peaceful feeling this song evokes in me... It's pretty much how I feel today. I feel at peace... or, well, mostly. There's still pain, and there always will be, but I can move on and I'll live. In the future, I'll look back on this last week and feel sad, but that'll be in the future when this is all over with for good, so I can also look back at before it and be happy that those good times happened. Nothing will ever be the same, but such is the way of the world. Saying goodbye is saying hello to the future, and we all need to do that eventually. Who knows what the future may hold? I, for one, can't wait to see. Hello future, and goodbye sadness".

Chuggaaconroy was an inspiration and a light in the sea of darkness for so, so many, and these revelations have snuffed the light he provided out. What I hope is that Emile takes a long, long break from the internet to become the person we all believed him to be, to truly become that bright light in the dark, rather than just another dark figure holding a flashlight. I don't hope for that as a supporter of him as I don't support who he is right now (as if I haven't said it enough), I hope for that as a fellow human who only wishes to see everyone become the best version of themself.

I think this post was exactly what I needed. I've finally gotten everything out in a cohesive (maybe?) and healthy manner, and I'm ready to become my best self. I will be beginning work on YouTube videos tomorrow, and will hopefully be posting Thursdays at 5 PM (in honor of DatPags whom has not uploaded in a long time).

To anyone who finished reading this post, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Please, go become your best self, but do not do so by putting others down. Better yourself and acknowledge your flaws, overcome them, and do not repeat Emile's mistakes. Learn from those around you.

Yours truly,

Cookie_Jar of Tumblr dot com

#music #peaceful yet sad #twitter drama #youtuber #omori #moving on #the end of an era #chuggaaconroy #the runaway guys #trg

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allylikethecat · 4 months

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January OTP Prompts

HAPPY JANUARY 31ST!!! THIS IS IT! THE LAST PROMPT FILL! WE DID IT!! Thank you so much to everyone who followed along on this little January Prompt Fill journey with me. I started this exercise for myself, and didn't expect anyone to actually read them. I was instead only posting them on Tumblr to hold myself accountable. Instead, I was met with so much kindness and support and I am so extremely grateful. These have been hard, some days I really did not want to sit down and write 500 words, and some days I almost forgot to. BUT I somehow managed to not miss a day, and I am so proud of myself for it. Thank you for following along! I will NOT be doing this for February 😂 Please note this one is a little cheesy but what better way to end a month of prompt fills with potentially the cheesiest one yet!

31. “The safest place is in your arms”

Matty was trying to hide it, but George knew he was crying. The sound was muffled from the way Matty had his face squished against George’s chest, and could be mistaken for the whistle of his congested breath. But George knew better, a wet patch spreading across the fabric.

He hated when Matty was sick, run down and worn thin at his fraying edges. One tug at his loose threads and he would unravel completely. But he hated when Matty cried even more, overwhelmed by illness, and the hatred of the masses. It made George’s heart ache. Matty didn’t deserve the witch hunt the mainstream media had fueled, he didn’t deserve the Twitter users calling for his blood. Even when he misspoke, George couldn’t imagine anyone deserving the level of abuse Matty found himself subjected to.

He had been drunk, weeks ago, when the hate train started, looking so helplessly young as he stared up at George, his eyes bright and wet as he asked, “Why do they hate me so much?” George hadn’t been able to give him an answer, just pulled him to his chest, and ran his hand down Matty’s back, silently hating that he was once again, able to feel every bump of his spine.

George knew he had seen the AI images, his already pale face growing all the paler as he locked his phone and sat down next to George. Jamie and the rest of their team was already working to get them taken down, and they had hoped that Matty wouldn’t see them. But George should have known they wouldn’t be able to hide it from Matthew Chronically Online Healy.

“Can I have a cuddle?” He rasped, his voice rough with illness and his eyes glassy with unshed tears. He had snot matted into his sweaty curls and was objectively disgusting. But George had just opened his arms and Matty slotted into the space like he was made to fit into George’s arms. Sometimes, when George was high and feeling introspective, he wondered if he was.

George couldn’t protect Matty, he couldn’t keep him safe, but he could hold him while he cried, while he was ill and whisper sweet nothings in his ear, trying to show him that even though he was hurting, and even though it didn’t feel like it, he was loved.

“I’m sorry,” George said softly, “I’m so fucking sorry, that I can’t fix this, that I can’t protect you, that I can’t keep you safe.” He said, his own heart breaking at the words.

Matty stilled, and George froze as well, leaning back, to try and get a look at Matty’s face, concern pulsing through his veins as Matty held his breath before exhaling slowly, looking up at George. His nose was red, his face swollen and puffy from his infected sinuses, his eyes bloodshot from crying.

“Don’t apologize,” said Matty, his voice hoarse but still strong and full of conviction. “The safest place is in your arms,” he paused, “nothing can hurt me here.”

Day: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30

#allylikethecat #January OTP Prompts #Prompt Fill #Prompt Fills #we ARE DONE #WE FINISHED #i cannot believe i did it and didnt miss a day #thank you so much for reading and being so lovely and supportive #i appreciate it more than you even know #i will not be doing this for February #but hopefully I will be able to return to more of our regularly scheduled programing and get some of the wonderful #prompt requests sitting in my inbox finished

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electromignion · 8 months

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Bridgewater doodles done at uni compilation part 2! (From last week 🫶)

I’m a bit late posting them but still fkfkfkf and I was very proud of the one done in pencil so here’s the big drawing (I did have more than 5 minutes to do it so I had a bit of fun) so here’s casual!Jeremy on a day off work at home! Sorry not many other characters doodled last week (there’s one Vip jdjdjdd, I will have a few more for this week’s compilation 👉👈)

After the read more there are a few close ups of the others!

I want to believe that Vipin made him wear that on Valentine’s Day and he did so to bring a bit of joy, and let’s be real if a professor arrived like this at their lecture I would be so happy 😭

This one might be one of my faves of this week 😭 it’s just Jeremy with his lil pins and his corduroy jacket loml

Here’s the caption I wrote for Twitter which explains it all to be honest ksksks (it was 9:45 am as I started at 8:15am):

“Doodled tired Jeremy Bradshaw because mood (I just had 1h30 of class) So here’s him without glasses holding a cup of tea (yeah he even forgot his mug and didn’t have time to make himself tea) and an opened up shirt (he didn’t have the energy to dress as his usual self)”

I really LOVE this Jeremy like so so much 😭

I like to think that it’s him on a day off, maybe just enjoying the outdoors so here’s the more relaxed outfit with his glasses hanging on his t-shirt! And I really think that gold is a good colour on him (thanks one of my besties to have gifted me a golden pen a while ago <3)

This is Jeremy going to class after the rain 😭 (this is a follow up of a headcanon which came with one of my besties, yup we have a Bridgewater brainrot irl together because of me and that’s beautiful <3)

And here’s a Vipin!!! Second brainrot headcanon with my irl bestie: Olivia embroidered his hoodie for him bc he likes flowers! (I will do better arts on that matter and I decided something else about the flowers species now)

Here y’all go for last week and thank you so much for your support as always; it means the utter world to me 🥺🫶

#bridgewater podcast fanart #jeremy bradshaw fanart #vipin khurana fanart #bridgewater fanart #bridgewater #bridgewater podcast #jeremy bradshaw #vipin khurana #bridgies #fanart #bridgewater doodles #doodles #jeremy bradshaw doodles #Bridgewater truly is my comfort show #brainrot is brainrotting #bridgewater brainrot #continuation of my bridgewater headcanons

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kukuandkookie · 1 month

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Lmfao help I totally forgot I scheduled my last post where I rambled about Jian Suiying in the tags (I probably scheduled it to seem more normal or something because I didn’t want to flood my feed 😂).

The reason I find it extra funny is because I literally feel like I’m going feral right now and I did just draft another Twitter thread ramble before coming on here and immediately seeing my scheduled post with those tags LADNSKDNS.

My Twitter is still on hiatus until further notice—aka when I am more comfortable interacting and sharing things socially—but over the past few weeks, my drafts have become very full of thoughts on LiJian (Li Yu and Jian Suiying) and YuBai (Yu Fengcheng and Bai Xinyu).

And the main reason I feel so feral right now—as in right this minute—is because of the author of this really good fic (which I found thanks to the fan audio drama adaptation on MaoEr FM) that’s multi-chaptered where the premise is that a younger Li Yu ends up in the present day in Li Yu and Jian Suiying’s house. Li Yu is obviously very upset by this because he hates his younger self for how he treated Jian Suiying, and the story is about helping him heal from that past.

And well anyways this post isn’t about that fic specifically, although it’s a really good fic and I went crazy over it a while ago as well: since it’s told entirely in screenshots on Weibo at least, I actually captured every image of text until I had everything and then I MTL’d them using Google Translate and then I severely edited them on-and-off based on my own Chinese knowledge—so this included grammar and pronouns but also less obvious stuff where I had to check line by line or turn it into audio to listen to. 😂

It’s a really fucking good fic though. So worth it.

And well the author has done other versions; one is where a younger Yu Fengcheng gets transported into current Yu Fengcheng and Bai Xinyu’s life, and I’ve already collected every part of that one (it’s still incomplete).

Except it referenced a case where there were two Jian Suiying’s, a fic the author said they were planning to write back when they released the two Li Yu’s fic, which obviously made me a little feral.

I struggled to find it until I finally did (yay!!) alongside a masterlist of their fics in general (yay!!!), and I really really want to translate and read it right now.

But part of me also wants to save it—because I like saving things I like—to the end, since the author has other fics I can translate first, including one where Li Yu gets amnesia, which will definitely also be quite interesting.

And yet. I cannot get over the concept of there being two Jian Suiying’s and how that might resemble or reflect or differ from the fic where there were two Li Yu’s (especially since the two Li Yu’s one is just very thematically perfect).

I might just translate it first because I can barely resist??? I already translated the second half of the first part just to tease myself, and it has me screaming because like:

(The above screenshots are from this fanfic here by 丧心病狂de凌子 on Weibo!)

The image of Li Yu dragging whom he assumes is his spouse (and he is; just from a different time period) back home only to come face-to-face with his actual spouse (of this time period) being all cute in his soft cozy home clothes with a little mug instead of having gone out drinking (which the Jian Suiying from a different time period in his arms had been doing—as all the fics so far have had the person from the past end up in the present after getting blackout drunk) which was a thing about Jian Suiying that Li Yu used to worry about…

(The above screenshot is canon and from the original novel!)

Yeah do you see what I mean???

I’m just so excited because you’ll get the chaos of two time periods intersecting, but also because Jian Suiying used to go out to such places and it upset Li Yu a lot since he knows Jian Suiying’s past life and their relationship took so long to get to a good place that he’s afraid Jian Suiying will discard him again when out partying—so seeing Jian Suiying here, at home on time, patiently waiting for his husband to come home from his business trip…

*sigh* They’re pretty cute even after all the craziness of their original novel lmao. 🥹

And yeah. Typing all this out…I think I’ll translate this first out of all of the author’s fics. I’m going to go insane otherwise SLFNKSDJSKS.

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ryuureikun · 2 years

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Confessions - SakuAtsu

A/N: I'm posting some twitter threads on here to preserve them! Enjoy!

Maybe it's a little mean- when Sakusa's staring at Atsumu through the doorway of Atsumu's bedroom like he's been burned, the silence stretching between them after Sakusa's confession, and Atsumu's first words are, "Are you kidding?" Sakusa slams the door in his face.

Atsumu doesn't go after him, even though he knows that there's not many places for Sakusa to hide in their shared house. Even if Sakusa holed himself up in his own room, Atsumu knows he would probably hear Bokuto or Shouyou's "Omi-Omi!" the minute he left it.

Atsumu doesn't go after him, because he's not sure what he would even say. Apologize? Well, Atsumu thinks his honest confusion is a bit fucking warranted, to say the least. "Miya," Sakusa says through gritted teeth. "I...I think I like you."

Sakusa didn't even have the decency to look pleased with the fact that he was confessing to Atsumu. He looked like he'd rather die than say the words out loud, but he had lost whatever violent battle he was having in his own head.

Atsumu has gotten many confessions, most being in high school when his volleyball team had their own fan club. Every confession included letters, chocolates, sweet words, nervous smiles. They didn't include the person looking ill with their displeasure at their own words.

Atsumu stares at his closed door for a long time, and tries to make sense of this. He's noticed, maybe, that Sakusa has been voluntarily spending more of his time with Atsumu lately.

Atsumu caught him in Onigiri Miya last week, sitting at the counter chatting with Osamu, looking up at Atsumu's arrival like he expected him to show up. Sakusa didn't stay more than five more minutes, but the conversation hadn't been as scathing as normal.

And then there were those few times this month that Sakusa made some vague comments about wanting to stay late to practice, and Atsumu latched onto it and stayed back with him. Atsumu's reasons were mostly volleyball- and maybe the delight of riling up Sakusa.

There's even that one time just a few days ago when Sakusa had a second cup of coffee prepared when Atsumu woke up and went into the kitchen. Sakusa- still sleep-soft and amenable- grabbed Atsumu's wrist when he reached for the cup and said, "It's still too hot. Wait a second."

Now that had been surprising to Atsumu, because Sakusa never touched him, like ever, and if he did it was by accident or one of those post-win highs when the players high-fived and Sakusa momentarily forgot his own aversion to other people.

If Atsumu thinks that moment in the kitchen had lodged itself firmly in his brain as a 'what the fuck' moment, this- this confession takes the cake. Atsumu thinks about it in the shower, while he gets dressed, while he goes on a run to clear his head. It doesn't help at all.

He thinks about it some more in his long, second shower after his run. He thinks about it while he makes himself lunch. He thinks about it when he glances down the hall and still sees Sakusa's door firmly shut. Maybe Sakusa had left during his run, but he doesn't think so.

As Atsumu thinks and thinks and thinks, his emotions range from surprise to confusion and then morph into anger. Who is Sakusa to drop this bomb on him? Who is Sakusa to storm out like a child afterwards? Who is Sakusa to flip Atsumu's whole perception of him upside down?

Who is Sakusa to make Atsumu replay every single interaction they've ever had since high school and reevaluate what all of those moments meant? As Atsumu sits on his bed and does just that, he thinks- no, a lot of those times were hatred. Or hatred adjacent.

They have never truly gotten along. They come together on the court beautifully, but Atsumu assumes that it's both of their competitiveness bringing out the best in them. Off the court, they bicker about everything. If Atsumu thinks one thing, Sakusa thinks the exact opposite.

If Atsumu likes to crank the AC up, Sakusa mutters curses under his breath as he turns on the heat instead. If Sakusa insists on everyone keeping their food labeled and on different shelves, Atsumu places his unlabeled containers on Sakusa's shelf just to fuck with him.

Atsumu is a twin- he's used to pushing. It's Sakusa's fault for always pushing back, which is exactly what Atsumu had been missing since moving out at eighteen. While it's frustrating when Sakusa fucks with him, he's excited when he can push back. It's kind of fun, he admits.

But what does it say about Sakusa if all of their nasty pushing and pulling has apparently manifested into Sakusa liking Atsumu? And worse, liking Atsumu enough that he felt the need to confess? What does it say about Atsumu that he can't stop fucking thinking about it?

Atsumu still hasn't made sense of it when dinner rolls around. Sakusa doesn't come out of his room to eat with them. "Is he sick, maybe?" Shouyou asks, sounding worried. Even if Sakusa is an avoidant sonuvabitch, he typically comes to "family dinner", named by Bokuto.

He normally eats his own prepared food after wiping down his place setting with a strong smelling disinfectant wipe, so lemony it practically ruins Atsumu's own appetite, but he still mostly always comes. Atsumu can't take the concern on Shouyou's face.

"Lemme bring the bastard some food," Atsumu says, getting up. "He'll starve to death by accident." He's that stubborn, Atsumu wants to add, but he really has no room to talk. Sakusa must be simmering in his own embarrassment, but Atsumu imagines he'd feel the same.

Atsumu carefully unwraps some onigiri that Sakusa had picked up from Onigiri Miya at some point in the week and places it on a clean plate, also making sure to add some umeboshi on the side that Sakusa had in a tupperware container. All perfectly labeled.

He then walks down the hall to Sakusa's room. He keeps his footsteps light, and when he stops in front of the door he presses his ear to it and hears some video presumably playing on Sakusa's phone. When he leans back and knocks, three quick raps, the noise cuts off.

"Hey," Atsumu presses close to the door to say, so the others in the dining room can't overhear. "You're freakin' Shouyou-kun out. I brought ya some food so either eat it in your room or come to dinner." There's no reply. Atsumu's sighs in irritation. "Are you five? Open up."

No reply. Atsumu closes his eyes briefly, wondering how the fuck he got here. When Sakusa first joined the team, Atsumu wouldn't have imagined that he would wait outside Sakusa's door holding food, pleading with him to eat. Atsumu wonders when he started caring.

He wonders when Sakusa started caring. He thinks about it, because of course he does, and he can't think of a single salient moment between them that must've been Sakusa's 'ah-hah' moment. Maybe those feelings were always there, buried underneath their biting remarks.

It's just- Atsumu has gotten used to Sakusa being around. He realizes it now, as Sakusa's absence at dinner seems noticeable. He sees Sakusa in the mornings, at practice, at games, in the evenings, all of the time- everywhere, always.

At first, Sakusa was like a fixture on the wall. Only noticeable when Atsumu wanted to mess with him. But now, it's like Sakusa has weaved himself into Atsumu's daily routine. Maybe you can't spend that much time with someone and continue to dislike them with the same vitriol.

Maybe Atsumu never truly disliked him, not really. He goes out of his way to be around Sakusa too, doesn't he? He pushes until Sakusa has no choice but to give him attention. Maybe Atsumu has always craved it; maybe Atsumu feels empty now that Sakusa isn't giving it to him.

Maybe Atsumu has always known that Sakusa is beautiful in a way that he tries to ignore. His assessing eyes, so cold that Atsumu feels a chill when Sakusa looks at him. His body stretching while he spikes, or his shoulders curving inward. His slender fingers adjusting his mask.

Atsumu feels something like a loss, now that he can't look. Atsumu has always looked his fill, unappreciative of what he was truly seeing. He was always around a lot of beautiful people in his line of work, so he didn't care at first. Now, he cares more than he knew he could.

Sakusa's beauty was easy to ignore when they were fighting. He could look, but not really notice that he was interested. However, now that Sakusa has flipped Atsumu's entire world view upside down, Atsumu is forced to confront that maybe he had been seeing things all wrong.

Maybe it's not just pushing and pulling, maybe it's something else too.

Maybe Sakusa feels the same way, fighting for that attention more than he would with anyone else, and has just been self-aware of it longer than Atsumu has. Maybe he understands Sakusa's displeasure with his confession; they don't like admitting that they've been wrong.

Atsumu sighs again. He leans his shoulder and head against the door. "You caught me off guard," Atsumu tries again, even quieter. He's not sure if Sakusa can even hear him. "I thought you were fucking with me." Atsumu winces at his own words. Still, he presses on.

"I mean, imagine if I came to you and said that. You'd probably throw up. I just- I didn't know." No reply. Atsumu closes his eyes. "But I want to. Know- I mean. 'Cause I'm kinda freaking out and having all of these crazy revelations and I need to know if you are too."

Finally, finally, Atsumu hears the rustling of Sakusa's thick, meticulously clean and white comforter and then heavy footsteps. He moves slightly back from the door just as Sakusa cracks it open. He just sees Sakusa's face, and his hard eyes.

"Don't do that," Sakusa mutters at him, voice low. "Don't say whatever stupid shit comes to mind because you're easily impressionable. That's-" Sakusa cuts himself off, looking mad. "I'd rather you just laughed in my face again." "First of all, I didn't laugh at you."

Sakusa looks angrier, and Atsumu meets him with his own glare. "I didn't, you asshole. And second, I'm not just sayin' what I'm sayin' because I think it's what you want to hear, or whatever. You know I'm not that fucking nice."

Sakusa's eyes drift briefly to the plate in Atsumu's hand and then back at his eyes. His eyes narrow, as if to say 'then why are you bringing me food?'. "This," Atsumu tries to explain, "is because you're being a huge baby right now. What, do I have to potty train you too?"

Sakusa's nose wrinkles in disgust, but he doesn't say anything. His smoldering eyes continue boring into Atsumu's. Atsumu takes another breath. "Look, I'm serious. I know I say a lot of shit just to mess with you, but I really have been thinkin' about it all day."

"Sorry if what I said causes your brain to fry from actual use," Sakusa says, ice cold. Despite the bitterness of Sakusa's tone, Atsumu smiles. Sakusa's expression goes blank, as if surprised. "I could do this all day, ya know. Talk to you," Atsumu says. "I'd never be bored. Maybe I'd be mad sometimes," Atsumu laughs, "but never bored. You just know all the right buttons to push for some reason." Sakusa's eyes trail over his face, in that quietly assessing way of his. It's so Sakusa that Atsumu actually feels his heart squeeze.

He wants Sakusa to keep looking, always. "You...do too," Sakusa says eventually, still looking slightly pained. "Maybe we're masochists, for wanting this." Atsumu smiles wider. "You want this? Like...you want me?" Sakusa rolls his eyes. "I'm not saying it again."

"You didn't even say it properly the first time." "Because you really would've laughed in my face, idiot." "How long?" Atsumu asks, ignoring that. Sakusa's eyes slide over Atsumu's shoulder. "I'm not having this conversation in the fucking hallway." "But you'll have it?"

Sakusa hesitates. Atsumu sees his mouth open and click back shut. "Oh, and you'll eat this too," Atsumu adds, holding the plate up. "Despite all my jokes about poisoning you with hand sanitizer, I don't actually want you to die. Or even starve."

It's not a remotely romantic thing to say, but Sakusa's eyes still flicker down to the plate and back up at Atsumu with a much softer expression. Maybe it's also this- Sakusa is the only person he can speak like this with, and he'll not only understand but push back perfectly.

"Did you practice saying that without gagging in the bathroom mirror while you spent hours in the shower today?" Atsumu gives him a cocky grin. "Aw, you're so obsessed with me you even monitor my shower time. What's next? Gonna make sure I jerk off right too?"

Sakusa rolls his eyes. "Gross. You wish." "Maybe I do," Atsumu says, surprising even himself. "You're unbelievable," Sakusa says quietly, but he opens the door wider and grabs the plate out of Atsumu's hands, their fingers brushing. Then, "Are you coming in to talk or what?"

Atsumu is filled again with the strange sort of feeling that's been building in him since Sakusa confessed; the feeling of being on the precipice of discovering something- something old that feels excitedly new, something achingly familiar that might be terrifyingly good.

Atsumu has never felt this way about anyone before, but he suddenly wants to discover everything that may come, both sharp and sweet. "Yeah, Omi-kun. I'm coming in."

#haikyuu #sakuatsu #skts #thread #atsumusbiceps #writing

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squaggies · 11 months

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Daily Haruhi Doodles (Days 1-7)

I've been posting Haruhi doodles daily for the past week on the Haruhi subreddit. I'm gonna start posting them here too

Feel free to suggest ideas for future drawings, I've only recently started so I don't have that many ideas in the bank right now so anything goes as long as it's SFW really

I forgot to post the first on here on the first day and then it would've been odd to start on day 2 with 2 drawings or something so I waited a week. These wont be the most polished drawings but as long as I have fun doing them I'm gonna keep doing them. Technically, the first drawing was made a little bit longer ago for my twitter, but I didn't really like the one i did for day 1 of the challenge so that one is going unused for now. Anyways, see you tomorrow as long as something catastrophic doesn't happen

#the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya #haruhi suzumiya #涼宮ハルヒ #drawing #art #daily doodle

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spookfished · 4 months

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nov 2023 media roundup

hello again :3 welcome to the world from 2024!! im doing backlogs of media reviews lol. well i was really busy. and then i was super busy playing umineko!! looking back at this month, it seems like i didnt read a whole lot this month, but then i forgot that ruzhui is literally 300 chapters long. so.. a couple of these i read uh quite a few months ago by now so the review might be a bit stale. however i had like 80% of this written for several weeks so theres only a couple! this will be posted on my neocities at some point

books:

ruzhui by please dont laugh: f/f. after a terrible breakup, college yun an is happy to leave her life behind for some TIME TRAVEL! but while disguising herself as a man to avoid discrimination, she gets looped into a matrilocal marriage with businesswoman lin buxian?! intended as a fluffy palate cleanser after pdl's previous work a clear and muddy loss of love, i think it still kinda ended up getting mired in politics two thirds of the way in, when a lot of us were here for the moments with miss malewife yun an and her powerhouse wife? on the other hand, its hard to stretch out fluff for an entire 300 chapters without contriviances. i also really enjoyed how it managed to balance like. idk. 'returning to the simple emotions of the past' with 'holy shit guys the past actually sucked ass lmfao'. its a pretty relaxing read, so id recommend checking it out if youre into f/f!

the devil comes courting by courtney milan: f/m romance. can romance bloom while trying to create the first telegraphic encoding for chinese...? sooo cute im a huge fan of courtney milan as always. surprisingly goes into some pretty heavy topics including like. forced assimilation via child stealing?????? i thought it was well handled though the ldr stuff and the way amelia grows as a person was soo nice

the marquis who mustnt by courtney milan: f/m romance. the son of a conman returns home for one final trick. meanwhile, naomi just wants to take her medic class. the two become engaged on false premises and of course, catch feelings. once again extremely cute im very charmed. also liked the pottery details :3 i think in every fake engagement the whole 'pretending to themselves they dont have feelings' is a little ridiculous so i liked that they just like. acknowledged it at the outset. i think its honestly more compelling to be like 'yes my feelings are sincere and true however X still outweighs '. loove a guy shackled by duty

wandering souls by cecile pin: follows anh and her two siblings, refugees of the vietnam war. ok honestly i dont remember a lot about this book :( sorry but i did like it! its a really fast read and made me really sad so id recommend. (DISCLAIMER: AMERICAN) i also feel like i dont read a lot of non-american diaspora books so thats pretty interesting as well. nice prose also :]

detransition baby by torrey peters: a trans woman who yearns for motherhood, her detransitioned ex-boyfriend, and his pregnant partner struggle to find a way to live--together, or apart? ok sorry this is another review written in january so its kinda weighted more negatively. i had a LOT of thoughts about this in november but i forgot most of them. this novel is a deep look into a very specific kind of queer subculture--a subculture which is both very white and very annoying. sorry. the characters feel like a vivid, true-to-life depiction of the poeple i try to avoid at my little liberal arts college. however, it ALSO feels like the kind of really good gossip that you love to hear secondhand. also, the author shoehorns in discussions of race in ways that are really jarring and also, kinda bad? i honestly really loved the inner voices of all the characters which is why it sucked when i got to suddenly read a copy-pasted twitter thread about intersectional oppression instead. (especially coming from the mouth of a cis wasian woman..?) it feels all the more tokenistic since we immediately go back to the inner struggles of ames and reese instead. ugh. however, it sparked some really interesting conversations with me and my friends. i also got to learn more about ah i guess transfem detransition? as opposed to transmasc detransition. they are very different! um but i guess id recommend?

comics/manga:

surviving romance: action/horror webtoon?? the woman living in the body of a romance novel character is determined to get her picture-perfect happy ever after-- at all costs. everything goes according to plan until the day zombies attack the school. chaerin is forced to bond with the faceless extras of her story, and find out what is rotting at the core of *love every day*. very solid writing!! i like how the author gradually introduces characters, and how the tension ratchets up as more people to care for becomes more people that can be lost. definitely goes into some orv-lite type themes, which i appreciated. i guess my only complaint is that despite the solid execution it didnt really ~wow~ me in any way... still worth checking out though :3

run away with me girl by battan: f/f romanceish? two high school lovers meet again after midori decided that their relationship was just a childish whim. but even though midori has decided shes straight (and is married with a kid on the way!), maki still has feelings for her. dude soooo cute the art style is not personally my thing but i felt like all of the characters were really grounded and the introspective parts were really interesting. some beautifully atmospheric parts! would recommend :3 witch hat atelier kitchen (reread) by shirahama kamome: a spinoff of witch hat atelier, where the two teachers qifrey and olrugio make food together after hours! gorgeous art as always, and some cute recipes too! i reread this since an official english translation came out lol. monotone blue: short furry m/m about apathetic, aloof cat hachi, who meets aoi--a shy transfer student who happens to be the only lizard in the whole school. pretty lighthearted for the most part, but also heavily implied a sexual assault scene?? or at least the vibes?? in a way that treated it far too lightly and left a bad taste in my mouth. possibly worth reading for the art, but idk :/ definitely falls into the romance trap of having a love interest go "ill save you from these bad guys!" for like a cheap plot device and then not really going into it

movies/tv:

parasite: class-focused comedic thriller? the kim family finds a way out of choking poverty by working for the extremely affluent park family. its almost too easy--until it isnt. man everyone says parasite is so good. AND IT IS!!! i cant believe i took so long to see this movie i got to see it with some friends over thanksgiving break and it was so good :] had me stressed for my fucking life sitting at the edge of my seat. has a lot of meat to bite into analysis-wise but is also just so crushing in many ways.. the ending stuck in my head for a long time. rewatching it this january was honestly more stressful in some ways haha

revolutionary girl utena: allegory-heavy commentary on shoujo and princess narratives and the nature of heroism and-- f/f. utena is a girl who aspires to be just like the prince of her dreams. she is somehow wrapped up into an engagement with anthy himemiya, who calls herself "the rose bride." ahhhh i still havent watched the last two episodes actually. people always say "utena is a fantastic show but PLEASE mind every single trigger warning" and its true! utena tackles some really heavy subjects in a way that is delicate, understated, and vicious. i watched a bunch of these episodes late at night in the computer lab and they honestly left me breathless. has so many layers of symbolism to dig through that it can honestly be overwhelming, but also very compelling just on the surface! watch utena. also watch this amv https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THN3gYKYojs

the wonderful story of henry sugar: a netflix adaptation of one of roald dahls stories (within a story). it was cute :3 not a lot of sticking power lol but i think this is the first wes anderson production ive ever watched. very visually distinctive!

video games:

lethal company: cooperative horror game about trying to collect garbage in a dystopically capitalist world ft. proximity chat! dude this game is blowing tf up i tried playing it with neil but 1. we are huge pussies 2. its really only feasible with 3+ people

music:

TILT by nanoray: anime breakcore is one of my truly guilty pleasures. i see the anime girl on the cover and cringe a little bit HOWEVER nanoray is a really good artist. the intro is so liquid... i think the album as a whole really just sweeps you up into a groove. some of my favorite tracks are into and DOGWALK2000 THE LONELIEST TIME by carly rae jepsen: i was so mean to carly rae jepsen in middle school. im so sorry miss jepsen i was just so tired of hearing call me maybe everywhere. im now a changed man. just a really well constructed pop album 👍admittedly not as iconic to me as emotion, but joshua tree and talking to yourself are my favorites atm SAYONARA WILD HEARTS OST: ive never played sayonara wildheart, but i think its a rhythm game about girls fighting each other on motorcycles? with bisexual lighting and tarot cards? but anyways this is a synth-y lush pop album thats super fun! it feels like it tells a story (probably bc it does) and it always makes me want to listen all the way through :3 my favorites are sayonara wild heart and their clair de lune remix

anyways if you read to the end, thanks as always! its really interesting to try and condense my thoughts about something into one paragraph.. sometimes its easier than others huh! im almost done with the december one so please look forward to that 👍

#txt

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paperweight-jellyfish · 5 months

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going to tryand do a weekly journal type thing for 2024. i forget a lot of stuff so this is my new years resolution ok here we go

1/7/24

been cleaning out my bedroom at my parents house over break. lots of old stuff there i’d forgotten about. found a bunch of old sketchbooks (which i sorted by year and put away) and it really put in perspective how long i’ve been drawing. i’ve got sketchbooks from before i had a tumblr in that pile (making them impossible to get an exact year on) kinda want to go back and redraw some realllly old stuff of mine. maybe something of eggs since i’ve been working on her story lately.

also in the Cleaning i have found a crochet project i completely forgot about. i made like 60% of a sweater two years ago (i hand dyed the wool and everything). luckily i still had the pattern downloaded so i just yesterday finished the arms. now all i gotta do is block it and add the ribbing and i’m done. its a nice wool, one that is actually cozy rather than being itchy so i’m excited.

done some mending also. fixed some rips in my dad’s pants with some sashiko. not my cleanest work but it holds it together and fixes the problem. he was really excited about it :)

got in the case for a keyboard i’m building. my first custom keyboard!! the switches are pre-lubed so i’m debating if i want to get some and re-do it or if i’m satisfied as is.

i’ve started recording cassettes!!! its super easy to do right from my laptop and i’ve been having lots of fun making the j cards. very happy that i bought that recorder its so cool. so far i’ve done some The Unicorns stuff and i plan on doing Burnout Beautiful next. probably the demos on the a side and the one live performance recording on youtube on the b side (maybe after that i should do mook?)

in that vein, i’ve also been editing lyrics on genius. i needed lyrics to put on the little insert i made but some lyrics are wrong and now i’ve made it a mission to transcribe. made it to 300 IQ this week. transcribing is fun if hard.

started a stardew valley co-op farm with gort. we played for like 5 hours straight yesterday and got almost all the way through spring. sal is making our farm so cute and its so nice to hang out and just work together. need to make this a regular thing. overall not a super eventful week but a nice one. very chill.

some goals for next weekish

block the sweater

try on all the clothes in my bedroom and decide what can stay and what can be donated

start the drawing my boyfriends commissioning me for

set up my capture card so i can stream ghost trick to gort

pick out an eggs drawing from my old sketchbooks to redraw

record burnout beautiful to cassette

start crossposting things from twitter. i refuse to abandon this blog even if my brain is awful at remembering to post

songofthe week

pics below cut because this is long enough as it is

>eggs (from one of said sketchbooks)

> sweater (pre-finishing off the arms)

> mending on my dads jeans (ft. the INCREDIBLE scissors he got me for christmas. holy shit these things feels so good to cut with)

> bespoke the unicorns cassette (it says volume 1 because i put multiple albums on there so i dont waste tape)

> stardew valley fun (i’m the one in the straw hat)

> the keyboardddddd (i'm typing on it right now and WOW i love this thing already)

#my journal #pj yells #long post #gort is the name of our discord sever btw #well. right now its actually the church of yaoi but we are gort #i hope i keep up with this cause i feel like i need a place to look back at and remember what all ive done #omg typing on this keyboard is so fun i love the noises it makes heheheee

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fossapunk · 1 year

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Since it's been a while I didn't post shit cause busy with Xmas planning, doing Xmas groceries and working on a commission from a kind fella on twitter, here, have this one sketch of myself that I made a week or so ago while with my mother at her hairdresser while she got her hair done, and that like an idiot I completely forgot to post lol.

#furry #furry artist #concept art #conceptartist #furries #original character #anthro #fantasy #traditional artist #traditional art #sketchbook #sketch #trans ftm #trans pride #transgender #fursona #fossa #werewolf #werewolves

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autumnsorbet · 1 year

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I guess I forgot to post this here cuz I do remember posting it on Twitter this some Rose garden or I made a couple weeks ago

#rwby #ruby rose #oscar pine #rose garden #rwby rosegarden #rwby rg #oscar x ruby #ruby x oscar #rosegold #pinerose #rosepine #rwby fanart #rwby oscar #Rwby ruby

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kinkpluspositive · 7 months

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Personal Life Update

Hey, everyone. I know I haven't been active for quite a while. Some of you probably even forgot such a blog existed lol. Sorry about that. This is going to be a personal update. If you want to read me whine about how I feel let down by the kinky community and details of my personal issues, here we go!

About a year ago, I met my latest sub. They traveled quite the distance to meet me and it wasn't even guaranteed that we would be in a dynamic. So, that impressed me. Eventually we got into a relationship but as the dynamic progressed, I learned about the community they were a part of and their ex partner being there too. I was upfront about the type of boundaries I think were needed on that front. But they were so caught up on how other fellow kinksters would read into those actions since they were the organizers of the events/munches that things got worse. So worse that I didn't even know where I was seen in that dynamic anymore, if my name was below their friends and even their ex. They started not giving a heads up before deciding on things they were supposed to tell me about, they were getting more bratty and expected me to be more "firm" in return and not even telling me about it until it was too late and I was already mad. Long story short, I felt left out.

I tried to do my part by talking about it and reinforcing some rules that we agreed upon for our dynamic. You know, the same ol' Domme things. Wake up at this, text me before that, etc... That didn't work. I was even called to be an unhealthy, undeserving Domme. I swallowed that, too. Dumb move, I know now, but I really liked this one. We were planning of marriage, I even met their family, we had our future kind of planned...

Before they had to leave for an entire month, we had a really big fight. I didn't want to go to the event they organized because that would just reinforce their bad behavior but they invited real-life friends to meet me, but they also let their co-organizer borrow their car to pick up a Pro-Domme from the airport without letting me know... Just ugh... At that point, I was contemplating about breaking up but I waited for them to return to talk things over. You know, maybe change the nature of our relationship or give it one real big chance once more. They went and liked a Mistress' lifestyle slave search post in their city and blocked me from that account.

In the end, we broke up right before a week of an important event in my life. So, I was heartbroken. Not after a few days later from our breakup, they told me that they were going to be on a kinky scene with someone from the group. I just felt betrayed. What if the person was their ex? What if it was someone other that I suspect? I decided to go no contact. A few days later after that conversation, I saw the ex we would have fights about start following them again :)

That's when I finally made the decision to walk away from kink. I deleted my kinky accounts: Twitter, FetLife, whatever. And I feel so betrayed by kinksters in general. Like what kind of a friend group are you to possibly encourage your friend's decision to play a scene with someone among you after they just broke up with someone they were planning on marrying? That's just mind blowing to me. Plus, they seemed content from the things I gathered while checking out their social media and from the way that they focus on those kinky events heavily now that I'm gone for good.

I'm not saying they have everything to blame but geez...

Anyway, nowadays, even the thought of going back to kink makes me wanna throw up and it's quite possible that I lost my trust in the community, and munches, and people who are involved in them... THE WHOLE THING. But still, I miss the way I found a safe haven in kink. And that shouldn't have been ruined for anyone, by anyone.

So, if you have read this far, I hope your journey is better than mine because I truly wouldn't want you to miss out on exploring the beauty of it. It's nice while it lasts...

I don't even know why I'm sharing this, or if someone will ever read it, but sorry for the long post. Now that I'm not a Domme, I can actually be vulnerable and be an actual human being, right? LOL... Sad.

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spikeinthepunch · 1 year

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Well, I didn't expect to be sitting down an deciding to write a lengthy personal post about the app, Vent. But its shutting down for good in literally two days. If this was any other situation where it slowly just became inactive but stayed up, I wouldn't mention it. But an app shutting down for good is a big deal, and I'll cross my fingers that I get sent the data I requested.

Vent is an app I feel like everyone seems to be aware of but left and forgot after its boom in 2016-2017. no one really says that they use it, most left it after that period. its pretty well known for weird and absurd kin posts and drama and other nonsense. having been on it since it launched, i saw... so much. so so much.

Having gotten to it around age 16, that app houses a huge amount of personal posts I made on an app I considered the best place to dump some of the most private, venty things. Boy does it catalogue a huge series of development and mental growth. And above all stands as a lesson to myself on how to manage such personal things around others online. What is to be said isn't me forcing a lesson on the reader, but just expressing what I learned- because in those teenage years it was easy to want to have all my online friends involved in seeing my vent posts. That Age on tumblr, that culture around validation and mental illness- I wanted validation and post interactions. I vented a lot, teen years sucked- this seemed fine to do from my unaware mind but it caused so much tension, stress, and drama in my closest relationships that I still wish hadnt occurred- but can accept that behavior years later... i was just a teen, it wasn't surprising. Getting your bestest friends in a private closed circle of venting is not as good of an idea as you'd want it to be, to say the least. Especially when you're teens and dont have therapy.

But that is to say- Vent became its best to me when I closed it off entirely to everyone except for one good mutual I had gained purely through Vent, and eventually one key IRL friend. Me, two other people. That was it. It turned into a diary for years after I chose to do that and it had been very useful for me. One or two people I didn't mind getting a glimpse into things, especially after i matured and learned to...better control and understand how to vent in a healthier way. It was somewhere I went to maybe once a month, maybe less frequently, to just... throw out a huge post documenting my feelings and important thoughts from the last many weeks. Great big summaries I'd have no energy to split up into a priv twitter thread, or post on public blogs.

Growth. So so much growth. So much in all those posts and all that time. Almost 8 years of my incredibly personal thoughts sit on that app and it sucks knowing that place will be gone for good. There could be a miracle but it seems unlikely.

For those never on the app, or stopped using it ages back- Vent has been a mess for a long time. It has gone through various changes in hopes of keeping it alive- for years its just been all over the place. It barely functions most times. It's been limping for years now and it was always a joke to me that it hadn't gone down yet. It seemed inevitable- and here we are! Gone on the 28th of Feb, and it was only stated a few days ago. And theyd been promising they had an alternative..

Losing things like this sucks, because it is a part of the internet. People love to say nothing truly goes away on the internet- and thats just not true. Time and time again we lose apps and websites with no backups or way to view them reliably. Newer age technology makes this especially harder to preserve. While I and others have requested our data, there will be hundreds if not thousands of accounts left to vanish after Vent shuts down, especially given the incredibly short notice.

So, RIP Vent, you were already dead for some years anyways. But I appreciate what I made of it and its a shame I can't think of any place where I could keep this kind of diary up still.

#vent app

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