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#mary eldest sister
catcas22 · 3 months
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Millicent and her sisters are all cats. Mary is just a different kind of cat.
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Mary: Our only purpose is to Bloom, to give our lives for the glory of the Age of Rot-- Malenia: Pssst. No ma'am.
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arx-aru · 9 months
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Loretta, bleeding out: Malenia- Finlay: she asleep Loretta: Okay well her daughter- Finlay: she has a daughter???? Loretta: Yes she looks just like her and- Finlay: oh my god we have a daughter Loretta: AND SHE TRIED TO KILL ME. Finlay: and i'm so proud of her! Loretta: Finlay: you- you didn't kill her did you? Loretta: No. Finlay: then where- Loretta: She turned into a flower before I could. Finlay: oh... Loretta: Finlay: well i guess we should pot her Loretta: Finlay: what Loretta: She. Tried. To. Kill. Me. And my horse. Finlay: yeah i hear you but do you think she's full sun or half sun. how much should we water her. do you think normal soil will be okay
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maranull · 1 year
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don't mind me, quick generic headcanons for Malenia's girls (part from Milli) so I get them in some order in my head. under the cut o7
Images taken from Zullie the Witch's "faces" videos (x)
~
Pollyanna (Youngest)
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Likes traveling. The only one, other than Millicent, to backtrack her mother's steps and end up in Caelid
Spent some time traveling with Melina (whom lend her her blade)
The one that has most accepted her fate
Likes splashing in puddles
The 2nd most nimble of the sisters, just behind Millicent
Maureen (2nd)
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Big believer in the Order
Has a chip on her shoulder
Very black and white view of the world
Always stiff and looking for a fight
The sturdiest of the five
Spent some time with the palace guards of Leyndell during a quick pilgrimage she undertook to visit the capital and see the Erdtree
Amy (3rd)
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She's a big admirer of her mother's swordsmanship
Her journey was the shortest of the four that left the Haligtree
She found her mother's old teacher hiding at the Snowfields and trained under them for as much as she could
During those years, the Rot claimed her eyes, but it only served to make her even more determined to train
After some more years of training, she was gifted her two Flowing Curved Swords
Her character and morals are actually quite similar to her mother's, mostly due to the time they both spent training under the same teacher
Mary (Eldest)
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The only of the five that never left the Haligtree
A firm believer of Miquella's vision, she joined the Cleanrot Knights ranks as soon as she could
She trained under Finlay for a bit and grew to like and respect her
After many years in the ranks, she made commander and lead following Finlay's example
She was one of the very few commanders left behind during the Caelid attack
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This was meant to be a short warm up that I didn't post, but now I have 1200 words about Mary specifically.
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Mary was exhausted by the time she reached the cathedral. Her feet dragged, leaden, up the hill as the servants of rot hailed her arrival. They parted for her as she marched forward, yet crowded at her sides, chittering, whispering, reaching for her with troublingly human hands. 
She stopped in front of the crumbling remains of the altar; looked up at the ruined visage of the goddess who broke the world. That was her grandmother, she supposed.
Kneeling down, Mary realized that she had never prayed before. The Sellians were staunchly against the gods, and Gowry had never taught her or her sisters how. She looked over her shoulder at the fanatical insects surrounding her. “Um. A little space please?” Instantly they moved as one, leaving a two foot gap around her. At least now she could breathe easier. 
She turned back to the altar and clasped her hands as she’d seen the servants do many times. Yet, they would also raise two their arms, palms skyward, and make gestures with their many smaller hands that she had never studied closely. Which was the prayer? How could she ensure her mother heard her if she only had two hands? Maybe if she spoke out loud?
“Ma—Lady Malenia— or, um, would you prefer Mother? O-or Goddess?” Stop it Mary, she chided herself, this isn’t the important part! “Whatever I may call you, I beg you to hear me. Amy has taken ill, and we fear she may leave us. Her fever hasn’t broken in days, and though we have ventured as far as Liurnia to gather them, there are no herbs that will help. Please, my Lady, o great goddess, please help your quiet, most gentle daughter. Our little flower.”
She took a shaking breath through clenched teeth. Her hands held a white-knuckle grip on each other as she struggled to keep from crying.  “Little flower” was a nickname she’d gotten when they were young, back before they were ousted from Sellia. It was just four of them then— and only three that the townspeople knew of— “Gowry’s little flowers” they called them, and Amy was so shy back then that it was the only name many of them knew her by. 
How ironic that, even if she lived, their little flower would never bloom. None of them would. Only Millicent. Only Millicent was strong enough. Only Millicent was chosen.
The tears building in her eyes dried up. Anger burned in her chest like a hot coal. Her voice cracked as she demanded “Why? Why is it only her? Tell me! What kind of mother favors one of her children over the other? What kind of mother leaves four of her daughters to die?” Malenia was silent. The servants chittered madly, understanding nothing she said but so so happy one of their goddesses was among them. In that moment, she felt a strange kinship with them. The insects were born of her mother in the same way she was, and they too were spurned by their creator. Yet here they were, and here she was, begging to be heard. 
“We only want to serve you, you know. To become the Valkyries that will stand by your side...Please, Malenia, how can I become worthy? What must I do so that I won’t have to watch my little sisters wither away?” What did she need to do to be loved as Millicent was?
She folded her hands in her lap and sat silently, waiting. For what, she wasn’t sure. A change in the wind? A voice in her head? A golden light shining down from the heavens? For Malenia to just walk through the door sixteen years late with a plate of pastries?
It was going to get dark soon. 
Under the crumbling stone eyes of her grandmother, Mary got to her feet. Her kindred watched, but did not follow her as she left. Her legs were still sore from the journey here...at least the way back was mostly downhill.
Smoke billowed from the chimney of the tiny, cozy shack the six of them called home. Mary walked faster as she got close, eager for nothing more than to curl up in bed. A red-haired girl— which really narrowed down who it could be— burst out of the door as soon as Mary got to the road.
“Mary! Marymarymary!” That was Millicent’s voice. 
She froze, certain that the worst had come to pass. She wanted to run away, until her legs gave out, until their mother’s blessed rot claimed her as well. Alas, she was the oldest, and they needed her. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she held her arms out to catch her little sister in a hug. 
Instead, Millicent grabbed one of her outstretched hands and started to pull her towards the house. “Um, Millie?” Mary stumbled after her. 
“Come on, Amy’s awake! She’s feeling better!”
“She is?” Mary could have cried. 
“Uh-huh!” She stopped with one hand on the door, “But first, don’t freak out about her eyes, okay?”
Her heart sank. “What’s wrong with them?”
Millicent shrunk back, leaving her to wonder what sort of altercation happened while she wasn’t there to stop it. “She’s blind...and Gowry got her to calm down, but she’s not taking it well.”
That was all she needed to hear. Mary nearly knocked her sister over as she rushed inside and towards the bedroom. True to her word, Amy was indeed awake, sitting up in bed and sulking quietly. She picked up her head as Mary entered. “Who’s there?” Once the same brilliant gold as the rest of them, her eyes were now pale and clouded. 
“It’s me.” 
“Mary?” she asked again, her voice so small and so scared that it brought tears to her eyes. 
Slowly and steadily, so she wouldn’t startle her, Mary went over to the bed. “Yes, Mary. I’m here.” She climbed up next to Amy and pulled her into a hug, running a hand over her tangled hair. Amy buried her face in her shoulder and sobbed wordlessly. “I’m here...It’s okay...You’re okay...” Gowry had always provided for them, but when any of the sisters was upset, it was Mary they turned to. 
She held her long after she’d finally calmed down, heaving sobs fading to soft hiccups. “...Mary?” Amy looked up.
“Yes, little flower?” she thumbed a lingering tear off of her scarred cheek.
“When I woke up, you were gone, and the others had no idea where you went or when you’d be back....Where were you?”
“I was...” she hesitated, maybe it was stupid to go so far and pray to someone who may very well not know she existed, or maybe it was what woke Amy up in the first place. “I was praying to Lady Malenia. Like, uh, like the...bugs...do.”
Before Amy could say anything, Maureen’s voice came from the doorway. “You were gone for half the day to hang out with the fucking bugs!? We were worried!” Amy jumped at the sudden sound.
Mary sighed, “I wasn’t ‘hanging out’ I was— ugh! Whatever, what do you want, Maureen?”
She held up a steaming bowl of stew. “I’m bringing Amy her dinner. You need to get some before it’s gone though. No dinner in bed for you.” She brought it over and gingerly handed it to Amy, sticking her tongue out at Mary.
“Fiiiiine.” Mary got up and stretched before following her second-in-command out. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her arm. “Yeah?”
“Did mother ever answer you?”
Mary took her hand and squeezed it. “I'm not sure.”
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thecruellestmonth · 2 months
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The transgender website that can find queer subtext in anyone and anything can't handle "female-coded Jason Todd"...... and yet I, Actual Eldest Daughter Syndrome Sufferer, must put up with Dick Grayson stans stealing my valor...
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fideidefenswhore · 4 months
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The earldom of Ormond passed through the general line rather than being limited to heirs male. Hunsdon's claim was, therefore, based on the assumption that the earldom should have passed from himself to his father by virtue of their descent from Thomas Boleyn's eldest daughter, Mary. [...] The earldom, therefore, consisted of a title only, to which Elizabeth had no claim because she was 'daughter and heir of Anne, youngest daughter of said Sir Thomas Bullen, late Earl of Ormond.' Hundson reiterated that, since his grandmother was the eldest daughter, his earldom ought to descend to him. [...] Such evidence is compelling. Had he been mistaken [...] Elizabeth [I] could easily have corrected him and claimed the earldom for herself to dispose of as she pleased.
Mary Boleyn: The True Story of Henry VIII's Favourite Mistress, Josephine Wilkinson
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holyghostflo · 7 months
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A tiny My Little Pony drawing I made in my spare time.
I think it came out pretty nicely.
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corvidaedream · 2 years
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in deciphering Daniel Brown's inventory taken by the court in assessing his personal estate after his death in 1785, im obsessed w this local rural blacksmith & militiaman who owned so many pairs of velvet and satinet breeches at the time of his death at 63.
im picturing him just covered in ash and grime from the forge dressed like a macaroni
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mydaylight · 10 months
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After watching the 1995 Pride and Prejudice adaption, and having read Mansfield Park in July, I started wondering if it's possible that a situation similar to the one at the beginning of Mansfield Park might occur with Elizabeth and Jane and Lydia's kids 10 years down the line after the ending of the book. We know that Elizabeth and Jane help Lydia financially so maybe Jane (or even Elizabeth) would be compelled to adopt Lydia's eldest daughter and raise her like the Bertrams raised Fanny. I also have this headcanon that Lydia names her daughters after her two sisters who made affluent marriages as a way to appeal to their help, though I am not sure if it would suit her character to do so. Mrs Price from Mansfield Park doesn't seem to have named any of her 4 daughters after a sister, though I suppose we don't know Mrs Norris' first name so it is possible it might be Betsey (Elizabeth?) especially since Betsey Price is her goddaughter.
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catcas22 · 11 months
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Mary, Eldest Sister
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Doing a sort of mini-series based on my "Millicent's Sisters Theory." First up we have Mary, Eldest Sister, bearer of Malenia's Ka.
"Mary was born of Malenia's living essence, the drive and devotion that inspired her to become the Blade of Miquella."
"But Mary has known neither Order nor Abundance, and so the Rot became the subject of her devotion. She leads her sisters with unflinching faith, despite the horror to come. Such a shame, that such pure devotion should be so misplaced."
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nikkisheep · 11 months
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To Be Alone With You
Anthony Bridgerton x female!Sharma!reader
Warnings: Smut, TENSION, cursing, oral (f), reader is Kate's full sister, kissing, touching when not supposed to, Anthony and his voice (warning himself), virgin reader (innocent ofc), sex on a dock (lol), kinda public sex, slight angst
I am so sorry that it got so long but it is so worth it. This is also my first Bridgerton fic so hope its good. :)
Summary: It was time that Anthony Bridgerton to finally meet the final Sharma sister who may stand in his way of marrying Miss Edwina Sharma but not like he expected her to.
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Anthony Bridgerton was a man who was used to having any woman melt and cling to his every word. Women practically threw themselves at his feet the moment he walked in the room. His presence was a strong one, making everyone eager to please the viscount.
When Viscount Bridgerton met Edwina Sharma, the newly named "Diamond of the Season", he was happy that he could find at least one woman with half a brain. Miss Edwina was the suitable bride and soon Viscountess. It was almost too easy, so he thought. That was until he met the elder sister of Miss Edwina. Kate Sharma, a woman of one and twenty who was unwed herself, was a challenge that Anthony could not refuse. He fell into a pursuit to win over the eldest Sharma sister, doing everything by the book. Well, with a few exceptions.
The Viscount did not want a love match. He could never fall in love with the woman who will bear his children. He just couldn't. And Miss Edwina Sharma was exactly the woman who he could not possibly love but, she would make a wonderful bride for him to breed and come to have a heir to fill the Viscount role when Anthony died.
A last, his mother, Viscountess Violet Bridgerton, had invited the Sharma family to visit the lovely Aubrey Halls. It would be Mrs. Mary Sharma, the lovely girls' mother, Miss Edwina Sharma and then Miss Kate Sharma. Anthony was ready to deal with Kate when she arrived.
---
Dinner was being served when the thunder started. Benedict seemed like he had lost his mind, no doubt had drank Colin's tea that he brought from his travels.
"Have you noticed, Col?" Benedict asked, "The twinkles of the candles, it is as....as if we sit among the stars."
Eloise snorted and looked to her older brother, "What is wrong with you?''
"I was just telling Benedict how brilliant the stars were in Greece," answered Colin.
Benedict went to take a sip of his wine but knocked it over, causing Violet and the other ladies to gasp at the table. The brother smiled and rubbed his hands over his cheeks in an innocent way.
"Lord Bridgerton, Miss Sharma here," A butler said.
"Whatever do you mean, Miss Sharma is here? How many are there?"
In just a few seconds a woman walks in, wearing the similar purple dress that the Sharma sisters were wearing. She looked identical to Kate, except her eyes were lighter. Her hair was more brown than black and she held her head high. Her presence was enough to even sober up Benedict for a moment.
"Is it just me or is there two Kates?" Benedict said, mind foggy.
"I am so sorry for my late arrival. Lady Bridgerton, the house is lovely." The woman said.
Violet blushed and thanked the woman. The older woman always enjoyed getting compliments about her home that she shared with Edmund.
"You said you couldn't make it," Edwina states as she moves to hug the woman. Everyone was confused as a goose until Kate stood up.
"This is my sister," Kate said, moving to stand by her.
You introduce yourself and smile at everyone, that is until you see Anthony. He had this look about him and you couldn't quite tell.
"I assume this is the viscount you were telling me about, Kate?" You said.
"Yes, this is Lord Bridgerton. He is the viscount and is to marry Edwina."
You looked at him and he just smirked. He had found a new toy to play with. And god did he want to play.
You looked at him.
"My lord, forgive me for my tartiness," You say, voice rich.
"All is forgiven, my lady." He had a hard look.
"Please, I am hardly a noble lady to earn that title,'' You tease.
Anthony was taken by surprise, no one had ever teased about their noblity or anything. Being a proper lady is very serious and not taken lightly. There was another Sharma sister, but at least this one seemed nice. For now.
---
You were quite the most annoying and challenging lady Anthony had the misery to meet. You talked too much, you jested a bit, your teasing with Benedict made his blood boil. Your words melting off your tongue and practically bringing Anthony's younger brother to his knees.
Benedict's face had blushed right before you move to rest your hand on his shoulder.
"My dear, Benedict, how are you?" You asked kindly, flashing that beautiful smile that made everyone melt.
"I am quite well, Miss Sharma." He looked down right flustered with your presence beside him.
Lady Bridgerton held a small ball at Aubrey Hall and Benedict had just finished dancing with you. The two of you had swept through the floor, everyone in envy that Mr. Bridgerton's attention was solely on you.
"Brother, I hate to steal our guest from you but I am in need of a dance," Anthony stepped in to say.
"I suppose that I have one dance in me," You laughed.
"I hadn't asked yet," Anthony said.
"Well, in that case, Benedict you wouldn't mind having yet another dance with me?" You smirked when Anthony rolled his eyes and groaned.
Once you got on the dance floor, Anthony could not keep his eyes off you, even as he danced with Edwina and Kate.
"My brother seems to be taking a liking to you," Benedict smiled.
"Please, he wants to marry my sister. After all, who even said I wanted him. Maybe I want you," You whisper the last part in his ear. He shudders against you and smiles.
"Is that true now, Miss Sharma?"
"Perhaps."
----
Pall Mall was the ruthless game that the Bridgerton's ever played. The Mallet of Death sat in your hands as Benedict had handed it to you with a wink and a sly smile. You blushed at the brother's antics.
He moved to be closer to you and whispered something in your ear which made you snort aloud and Kate looked at you with a raised eyebrow.
"Who has my bloody mallet?" Anthony's voice boomed in the air.
"My lord, I do not know," Kate smirked.
"Where is it?"
You coughed to clear your throat, suddenly bringing the Viscount's attention to you. That might have been a bad idea. It surely was.
"You...You have my mallet, I believe."
"I do?" You inquired.
"Yes, Miss Sharma, you do."
"Well, I suppose that I could just give it to you," You start to hand it to him, his siblings surprised at how easy you were giving it up, and Anthony was smiling, "But first you will have to catch me." You took off running down the field and Anthony just watched in surprise.
"Did she?"
"I believe she did," Daphne laughed. She watched as her older brother looked as if he wanted to blow up.
"Dear brother, I think you should go get her if that mallet is very important to you." Colin laughed as Anthony ran down the field, looking for you as the Mallet of Death rested in your possession.
He ran looking for you and he heard your sweet giggle coming from in the garden. He looked to see that everyone had given up on waiting for them and started the match without the two of you. He walked around the garden to find you crouching behind a hedge and was covering your mouth as you looked around the side of the bush, hoping to not be seen.
His boots moved to quietly as he stalked closer to your frame. He then grabbed your waist and picked you up, causing you to gasp into his hand.
"Lord Bridgerton, put me down this instant."
He placed you down on the ground and stands close to your body. His warmth and scent poured over you in waves. He smelt like sweat, dirt, body wash, slight scent of vanilla, and sandalwood?
"Lord Bridger-"
"Anthony, my name is Anthony." He said, panting at the closeness that he had created.
"My lord-"
"Anthony."
"My lord, it is improper to call you by your given name," You say, trying to catch your breath and not breathe his scent in.
"And us being in my mother's garden alone is very improper, I dare say, Miss Sharma."
Your smell floods his senses when he takes a deep breath and move closer to you, chests touching. The smell of dirt, sweat, lilies and Jasmine? God, it drove him crazy. Just being around you drove him crazy.
"You followed me here.''
"You ran here."
"You chased me."
"You took my mallet."
"I-" You stutter, "Benedict gave it to me."
He looks at you with something dark in his eyes, something that burned with fiery. His hand came to touch your waist and you nearly melt. He looks at your chest, noticing that you were wearing the Bridgerton color. You normally wore purple but you were wearing the baby blue that stood for his family.
"You are wearing my family color," He says, blood rushing some where it did not need to be.
"Oh, I had not known that I wasn't allowed to wear blue."
"It stands for my family and you...are...wearing...my...color."
His body presses closer to you, invading your space. He moves to corner you against the tall hedge, the only thing keeping your situation from any on lookers.
His mouth moves to rest beside your ear, hot breath fanning over the exposed skin there, goosebumps rising on your skin.
"You want something, I can sense it."
You shudder.
"And what would that be, my lord?"
"You want me," He said lowly.
"You are to marry Edwina," You correct him.
"That doesn't change that you desire me," He chuckles at your attempt.
"I beg your pardon. You are a rake and I have no desire for such a person like you. You are to marry my sister, not me. If you wish to be with my sister than act like it, if not then leave her alone. I will not be some play thing for you to play with when you want to."
"Oh but you are my play toy. You are whatever I want you to be. Do you know why?" He asked.
"Why?"
"Because all I have to do is whisper real close to your ear, like this," He moved even closer, "And tell you that I desire you in ways that would make any mama blush and cry out for improper topics to a lady."
You take in a ragged breath.
"Desire me?"
"Yes, why do you think I came out here to get you?"
"To get your mallet?"
"No, so I can have you."
" You are courting my sister to marry. I am done with this topic and I am leaving this garden. Good day, Lord Bridgerton."
---
Anthony was reeling. He couldn't stop thinking about you. He can't sleep at night because of you. It wasn't your fault. No, it was your fault. You were the one who kept reminding him of his soon to be proposal to your sister and putting him in his place. Heavens above, he couldn't help but be aroused when you put him where he was meant to be. And that perfume that you have, Jasmine and Lillies, god it did things to him.
---
The day had been hot, very hot and you knew that you shouldn't but you were burning for a swim in the lake. You couldn't help it. After being in the garden with the Viscount, it felt you aflame.
Sneaking out of your chambers, you made your way outside to the lake that rested toward the trees.
Looking around, you made sure that no one was up and you were making sure that you were not followed. You made your way to a tree and took off your coat. Yo began your task of unbuttoning your gown.
Anthony watched you remove each piece of fabric from your body as he made his way down to the lake himself. He had not known that you were going to be here. He had not expected it. He always goes for a midnight swim when he couldn't sleep. Why he couldn't sleep? You.
Slipping onto the dock, you take a dive, cold water enveloping your body. It felt heavenly against your heated skin. Anthony was never to be allowed to know that he was the reason behind the midnight swim in the lake. You swam to the middle and was sighing while looking up to the moon. The entire lake was lit by the moon, banishing all shadows from being cast onto your face. You looked angelic.
Anthony slipped in the water after stripping completely bare and went underwater. He wanted to see you move about when you were by yourself. He had wanted to see you nude, part of his mind begging him to see what you looked like, but you were still a lady and he was a gentleman.
You heard a splash and you turned around very quickly, spotting none other than Anthony Bridgerton. You knew you were caught and he would laugh at you but he just swam closer. You could only see his shoulders and water was dripping down them to be collected back to the lake.
"My lord-"
"I do believe that we are now way past formalities," He chuckled.
He was silently begging to hear his name fall from your lips. He knew this was wrong. You were his betrothed sister. You were a lady. You were innocent. If he took that from you, you would be ruined. But...but you looked so desirable. You looked just ready to be ravished by his mouth. To be tasted in places that you had never thought of to be touched. To be submitted to such incredible pleasure that Anthony knew that he could bring you. To be his.
He swam closer to you, grabbing your hand which he used to pull you until you were placing your hands on his shoulders to hold onto. You gasped at how warm he still was, even in the chilled water of the night. Anthony looked at you, smiling when he realizes that you move even closer, your legs brushing every time you move to keep yourselves afloat.
"I want you," He admits.
He kisses your lips, groaning when you kiss back only for a second before he feels himself being pushed away from you.
"You are engaged to my sister," You say.
"Not yet."
"But-"
"But, I want you. I don't want Edwina. I don't want Kate. I want you," He says, "I desire you."
Anthony kissed your lips once more, swallowing any sound coming from your mouth. His tongue brushed yours and you moaned. You had never done that but with Anthony, you felt so good you couldn't keep it inside.
Anthony had you wrap your legs around his waist, feeling something quite odd in between his legs but you didn't question it when he took your breast into his awaiting mouth. He sucked your nipple and ran his tongue around it as he teased you mercilessly. Your hair was down so it was hanging in the water as you threw your head back in bliss as he moved to bite at your collarbones and neck.
Anthony moved the two of you all the way to the dock, picking you up out of the water and seating you directly onto the hard wood. He then watches as you move back, suddenly aware of how exposed you are to him. He puts his hands on the dock and pushes himself out of the water, droplets trickling down his slightly hairy chest down to his now every noticeable something. You didn't know what on earth it could even be.
"What is that?" You said shyly, pointing to his hips.
"That would be my cock." He just chuckled.
"It looks hard," You said, "does it hurt?"
He groaned at your innocence. God, you were going to be the death of him. You looked so nervous to even ask and then when you did, you blushed deeply. You were so cute.
"It hurts some times when I desire someone really bad," He explained.
"Like Edwina? Did it ever hurt for Edwina or Kate?" You asked softly.
"No, never with them. I want you," He said, holding your face, "God, you consume every thought that I make. You make it so, so hard to be a gentleman. There is no way that I can escape you, no matter how hard I try because you are always in my mind."
He kissed you once more and you let him. You were going to forget about Edwina, who the man currently moving in between your legs and kissing every inch of your body, was supposed to get married to. You were going to forget the rules of being a proper lady. You were going to forget formalities and just revel in the pleasure that is being caused by the mouth of your sister's soon to be betrothed.
"Anthony!" You cried when he made contact with the little bud between your folds and he licked it. Your body was shot with electricity that sent your back to be arching.
He hummed against your core and went back to sucking on your clit. No one or nothing could have prepared you for the Viscount's tongue to slip inside of you. He had done so when you were pulling on his hair as you grasped for anything but you could not find anything to ground you. Anthony swept you away in pure pleasure as he ate you like a starved man. He drank anything your body was willing to give and he took it with a groan. His eyes rolled back as he tasted you.
"Oh, my lord-"
"It's Anthony. Just Anthony," He said before staring at your weeping cunt.
Your hands pulled at the man's hair and his other hand, that wasn't holding down your hips, moved up to grab a hold of your free hand that was gripping your breast. Your back arched when he made one last circle with his tongue on your clit and you burst with carnal desire. You shook against Anthony's mouth as he drank you in.
He thought you were so beautiful laying out for him, under the stars on his dock, wet hair after a late night swim and most of all, the way the moon shone down on you. You looked ever so innocent but oh so dirty.
"Are you okay?" He asked when he noticed you not moving but still shaking.
"I'm more than okay."
He laughed and began kissing up your body. His tongue poked out every once and a while as he traveled up to your mouth. The taste of yourself was erotic. You had never known something could exist. Anthony moved on top of you and positioned himself so that his cock would rest between your sensitive folds. He had to contain himself so that he wouldn't cum right on the spot.
You gave him a nod before he claimed your lips as he pushed himself inside your waiting body. You moaned out loud before you started panting against Anthony's mouth as the two of you tried to adjust to the sudden feeling. His arms shook as his head fell onto your chest as your hand ran through his hair, pulling slightly.
"Are you ready for me to move because if you aren't that's okay but I really need to move?" Water trickled down his body as he held himself above you, looking down at you.
"Please, Anthony." He smiled at his name and started to slowly pull out, letting you feel every ridge and vein his dick possessed and you were enjoying it. Anthony thrusted back in and your head fell back against the wooden dock. As Anthony thrusted his cock in and out of you, the only things that could be heard was your labored breathing and the sounds of your bodies moving against each other as the two of you reached new heights together and the sound of crickets chirping in the grass.
"Oh, god you feel so good," Anthony groaned.
"So fucking good," You panted, hips rising to match his. You were chasing something but you didn't know what. You didn't even know what was happening when your muscles started to tighten and some kind of euphoria started to crash down on you.
Anthony's breathing got caught in his throat as he watched your face contort in pleasure as he pumped himself constantly in you, trying to reach his end. He looked at your blissful face and decided that you would give him another.
"Just one more, darling, and then I can fill you up real nice." His hand went in between your legs as he watched himself move inside and out of you. His thumb began circling your clit, his cock hitting the right spots every time, his face tightening in desirable lust as he held himself above you, moving faster, trying to make you cum for a third time before he got his.
"Oh, Anthony!" You moan before he places a kiss on your lips to silence you. You cum one last time and Anthony unloads himself completely in you once bottoming out inside you. You laid there with him as he felt the aftershocks of his orgasm and you shuddered at the sudden cold.
Anthony kisses you lazily as he feels you giggle against his lips when he sighs into you. He pulls out and then shudders at the cold.
"I think we should go get some nice warm milk and sit by the fire to warm up," He proposes.
"Won't we get caught?"
"Darling, we just had sex on the dock in front of my house and you are worried about getting caught with some milk by the fire?" He laughed.
"Well, I can't be seen with you alone."
"Fine, but let's get dressed and go inside so we can sleep."
"In the same room?" You ask in a quiet voice.
"Not yet. We might get caught."
"Maybe getting caught wouldn't be so bad then," You giggle when you see his bare ass.
"Oh you are a little minx," Anthony groans.
"Maybe," You gasp when he picks you up after you get dressed and then carries you inside.
He takes you to your room and puts you down so you can stand. He doesn't want to let go but he knows he needs to leave soon.
''Good night, Miss Sharma." He said with a kiss.
"Good night, Lord Bridgerton," You sigh against his lips.
The kiss is passionate but is cut short when the clock decided to strike three and make a loud noise. You both laugh and he sees you close the door and he then walks to his chambers.
He finally can go to sleep with a smile on his face. A smile that didn't disappear the following day until he realized that he had to propose to your sister, Edwina Sharma.
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michwritesstuff · 5 months
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She’s Gonna Save Me (Bridgerton: Benedict Bridgerton)
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this is my first ever bridgerton fic! i’ve had such a writer’s block and post grad has been so difficult but listening to music and reading other writers’ works has me feeling inspired! so enjoy my first story in months and first of the new year :)
pairing: female reader (she/her) x Benedict Bridgerton reader x Colin Bridgerton (platonic!)
summary: Benedict contemplates a life pursuing art and living outside the expectations of his family and society. Does he find a wife and settle down or live freely? What happens when he meets someone who can offer him the best of both worlds?
notes/warnings: mention of nudity, alcohol consumption, activities that can be witnessed at Sir Granville’s scandalous studio saoirees…
word count: 2.4k
As the second eldest Bridgerton boy, Benedict never found himself extremely pressured by the standards and expectations of society. Those responsibilities were entrusted upon his brother, Anthony, the Viscount.
Benedict reserved himself to a more romantic life, preoccupied by his love and interest for art.
Attending every event of the season was merely a ploy to keep his mother happy and distracted from the fact that he had no true intention of courting any ladies.
He would drink, laugh, and dance the season away without ever calling on anyone.
Benedict believed that this season wouldn’t be any different.
******
When you first agreed to join your family friends across the Atlantic in London, you didn’t expect that you would be taking part in the ton’s social season.
As the youngest daughter, your brothers married with children and sisters off tending to their new husbands, your father didn’t feel the need to arrange a marriage for social or monetary gain.
Your family was well off in the states, your parents often described as ‘free spirits.’ They had always impressed upon you the importance of appreciating the beauty around you and romanticizing life.
With your mother’s passing, you decided to stay at home with your father, choosing to enjoy a quiet life in the country studying English literature.
Staying with Sir Henry Granville was beyond exciting and allowed you to interact and mingle with the more eclectic members of British society.
You had lasted all but a week before you were called upon by a Miss Lady Danbury.
She had stressed the importance of participating in the social season and the impending judgment of the ton and Queen if you did not participate.
While you never cared much for the opinion of others, you didn’t fancy the idea of being ogled every time you ventured into town.
******
“I heard she was rejected by every suitor.”
“She’s so ugly and unpleasant, a dowry wouldn’t even be worth it.”
“Apparently she’s slightly deformed.”
You couldn’t begin to believe the rumors circulating about you, the American.
You swore that the descriptions were ripped out of a storybook, describing some gremlin crawling from the depths of the earth.
Men and women alike had no problem spreading stories about the young lady joining them for the season.
Worst of all, none of them had even seen you yet. The modiste had made personal house calls, as requested by Lady Danbury.
Now you stood, in front of the carriage, at the first ball of the season, your debut.
You followed behind Sir Henry and Mary Granville, head held high and eyes straight forward as you waded through the ballroom towards Lady Danbury and the Queen.
You heard the whispers and felt the stares as you stood before the queen.
With one leg behind the other and your arms laid at your side, you gently bent your knee and curtsied before her.
She gave you a once over before bowing her head back, a silent approval.
Moving out of the way, you stood at the edge of the dance floor as Lady Danbury approached.
“Miss y/l/n, I do hope you don’t mind that I have taken the liberty of securing you a few gentlemen to fill out your dance card.”
“I expect nothing less from you, Lady Danbury” you smiled back, a teasing tone in your voice.
Your sarcasm and apprehension towards the season had not gone unnoticed by Lady Danbury.
She quite admired your wit and sharp mind, and more than anything, enjoyed the challenge.
******
You were now on your 4th dance of the night; your feet were hurting, and you wanted nothing more than to be curled up with a book.
Fortunately, your current dance partner was not completely awful and was actually quite charming.
Colin Bridgerton.
You had met him once before, in passing, when Lady Danbury had brought you to meet his mother, Violet, and sister, Daphne.
 Apparently, Daphne had been named the Diamond of the season in her first season out on society and married a Duke.
His younger sister, Eloise, was preparing for her first season as well.
However, through your brief encounter with Eloise she did not seem as happy with the matter as her sister and mother were.
You had a feeling she would be a good person to befriend.
“Tell me about yourself Miss y/l/n” Colin inquired.
“Y/N,” you quickly corrected.
“Just Y/N is fine,” you smiled slightly.
“Well Y/N, how are you finding London and the beginning of the season?”
“London, well its quite beautiful. There is so much art, and history, and the architecture is amazing. Truly, I wouldn’t mind getting lost here. And well…this—” you paused, glancing around the ball at all the young women around you.
“May I be frank?” you asked, Colin’s eyebrows raising in surprise.
“Of course, Miss Y/N”
“I slightly detest all of this, my feet hurt, and I’ve been dancing for quite too long. Why would I want to marry someone I’ve met one time?”
Colin was slightly taken aback before grinning wildly.
“You remind me of my sister Eloise,” he stated.
“I’ll take that as a compliment, I quite liked her,” you grinned back.
As the dance ended you curtsied before Colin as he bowed before you.
“I hope you find the person you’re looking for Y/N, but I have a feeling you don’t need all of this to do so.”
You smiled widely and slightly nodded before following him off the dance floor.
“I’ll grab us a drink,” he said before walking away. Your eyes followed his back for a few seconds before scanning the room.
They quickly landed on two men whispering in the corner.
The slightly shorter one had massive sideburns and a quizzical look that seemed as if it must be permanently etched onto his face. The other man had a certain air about him.
Even from across the room his light-colored eyes had a shine in them.
Colin returned; you thanked him before looking to the corner again. This time the slightly taller one had caught your gaze and lifted his eyes to meet yours. You felt your face flush and quickly turned your head.
“Colin?”
“Yes?”
“Who are those two men in the corner?”
Colin looked up to see his brothers in the corner looking at him inquisitively.
“Oh, those two? You don’t want to be near the likes of them. Poorly mannered and when they were younger, they would wet the bed for years well beyond what was normal.”
You were following along for a while until that last part.
You gave Colin a quick look to see if he was being serious.
His mouth remained flat and tight-lipped for a few mere seconds before letting through a boisterous laugh.
“My apologies Y/N, those are my brothers.”
Your eyes widened at the confession.
“Your brothers?”
“Yes, lets introduce you,” he stated, beginning to pull you across the ballroom.
“Colin, No I—"
“Brothers, this is Miss y/l/n, Anthony, Benedict,” he pointed out.
You curtsied before both of them before speaking up.
“I told you, just Y/N is fine Colin.”
You weren’t sure what his brothers would say about your slight improperness. It was clear that the Bridgerton’s were a well-respected family in the ton.
You glanced at the eldest brother who you learned was named Anthony who gave you a curt nod before excusing himself to sneak off from an inquiring Lady Danbury.
You smiled at him before turning your gaze to the second eldest Bridgerton.
“Y/N here was telling me about her studies in the states. She is well-read and well-traveled.”
You rolled your eyes, playfully pushing Colin slightly.
“You flatter me, Colin. Unfortunately, I am not perfect. For example, I am about done with all of this and was just about to call a carriage.”
“Oh, but you must stay for one more dance Y/N. Poor Benedict here has not waltzed once.”
Benedict tried to sneakily hit his brother for his clear meddling.
“While that may be true, I do not need my younger brother imposing on such a lovely lady.” Benedict states.
“Nonsense, everyone must waltz at least once,” you laughed, pulling Benedict towards the center of the room.
His eyes widened at your forwardness as he shot Colin a disapproving brotherly look, to which Colin gave him a grin and thumbs up.
As the music began you moved around the room with Benedict.
“So, Mr. Bridgerton, tell me what exactly it is you do.”
“Just Benedict is fine,” he stated, mirroring your words from earlier.
“Besides, aren’t I the one who should be questioning you about your skills?”
“That’s awfully backwards thinking, I hope you don’t get stuck that way” you replied sarcastically before being spun around.
When you returned facing Benedict, a knowing grin was stuck on his face. You were witty. He liked witty.
“I suppose that is fair. I’m an artist, well…I’m trying to be an artist. It’s a little complicated.”
You nodded understandingly, while the arts were enjoyed by many, it wasn’t exactly a noble pursuit, especially for you as a woman.
“You should come by Sir Granville’s studio, it’s quite…”
You couldn’t think of a proper word to describe the soirees Granville hosted. It was taboo and scandalous to most respectable members of society. However, if Benedict was an artist as he was claiming, he should fit right in.
“…inspiring,” you finished.
Benedict gave you an interesting look.
Little did you know, he had been to Granville’s studio, several times.
He hadn’t been in a while since his family had just returned from Aubrey Hall and the preparation for Eloise’s season had been quite hectic for his mother.
But you, picturing you at Granville’s studio was not something Benedict had imagined.
Women who were married or of low social standing was something else, but you, a young lady in her first official season stalking down the halls in such a disreputable manner. It didn’t fit the picture of the beautiful woman before him.
Benedict was quickly learning not to try and categorize you into one box.
“What do you know of Granville’s studio?” he asked seriously.
“Well, for one, I’m staying there. Two, I feel more comfortable among that community than here, if you understand what I mean…” you trail off.
Benedict gives you a small smile of understanding.
As the song ends Benedict lifted your hand to his mouth, kissing it gently before sightly lowering it back down, fingers brushing softly as he pulls away.
“Until next time Y/N”
“I look forward to it Benedict.”
******
Two months had passed since Lady Danbury’s first ball of the season. In that time you had befriended Eloise and Colin Bridgerton, often sitting in the parlor room of their home during the daytime, chatting the day away.
As such, you had also grown closer to Penelope Featherington who also came over often. You always considered yourself to be quite perceptive, so it was evidently clear that Penelope was fond of Colin. You thought about mentioning something, but it didn’t seem like your place.
Throughout your time at the Bridgerton’s household you had seen Benedict a handful of times. Unfortunately, your encounters were reduced to small greetings, stolen glances and light brushes as you walked past each other.
Until today.
You were sitting in the empty parlor room as Eloise ran to her room to fetch some ‘evidence’ and ‘clues’ about Lady Whistledown.
“Good Afternoon Y/N” Benedict greeted as he walked in, taking a quick look around the room to find the two of you alone.
“Afternoon Mr. Bridgerton,” you greeted back, a slight teasing tone to contrast your seemingly formality.
He gave you a knowing look before continuing.
“I hope I’m not being too forward, but I plan on attending Sir Granville’s tonight, I was wondering if I would see you there?”
You gave him a teasing smile before your face fell into a serious and hurt look.
“Mr. Bridgerton, I’m appalled, would a respectable young woman such as myself be caught there? Imagine the horror if the rest of the ton were to find out.”
He let out a loud laugh at your remark, in the short time that he had known you, you never failed to make him laugh.
“Yes Benedict, I’ll see you there,” you smiled.
“Good,” he replied.
******
That night you had a few drinks to help you take the edge off before guests started coming over. There was something about interacting with Benedict that made you nervous.
 You were walking around the art studio observing the nude model and the artists renditions when you felt someone lay their hand on your shoulder.
“OH! Oh my, Benedict, you scared me.”
“Sorry, love, didn’t mean to startle you.”
You continued walking around the circle, admiring the art around you.
“She’s stunning, is she not?” you questioned.
“She is,” he answered quickly.
However, when you turned to look at him his eyes were already trained on yours.
You smiled widely, walking out of the studio as Benedict followed like a lost puppy.
“Will I ever get to see your art?” you asked him.
He smiled sheepishly as his arm reached back to scratch the back of his neck.
“I certainly would let you, if there was any.”
“Practicing here for a few months and you still have nothing to show?” you teased.
Benedict gave you a look.
“I may have asked around about you,” you confessed.
“And?” he asks.
From what you have heard, both from his siblings and other people around you. Benedict was a kind and creative soul, with a great appreciation for the beauty around him.
“Your family and friends speak highly of you, that’s important.”
“What about you? What do you speak of me?”
“Besides being a tortured artist? I think highly of you.”
He nodded his head again, before responding.
“I think highly of you as well,” he whispered quietly, leaning down slightly so he was more at eye level.
You blamed the alcohol in your system for what you did next.
Yanking him down by his collar, you pulled him close and reached up until your lips were flush against his, pushing with all your might as if you would never kiss him again.
“Y/N—” he pulled away, his senses flooding back.
“This is…no, I’ve dishonored you I—”
“Oh hush Benedict, I do not care about those rules. I want you.”
He looked down at you, holding your face in his hands as he searched your eyes for confirmation.
Biting your lip and grinning up at him, Benedict couldn’t help but pull you back in, one hand sinking to your waist to pull you closer, the other rested on your cheek.
“You know this means we have to get married now?” Benedict teases.
“That means you presume I would say yes,” you teased back.
His smile grew impossibly bigger as he pulled you back in for a tender kiss.
“Let’s just see how you perform tonight before we think about marriage” you joked.
Benedict pulled back with a smirk and look in his eye you haven’t seen yet as he looked you over.
“Art is all about practicing and perfecting, we might need to practice a few times before you make your final judgement” he teased back.
You threw your head back in surprise, a large laugh leaving your lips before you smiled sweetly at him.
This was not how you imagined the social season going.
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book-place · 1 year
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Where You Lead
Warnings: mentions of fighting, hunting, weapons and violence, drinking, hints of parental abuse and neglect, cursing, injuries and blood, gunshots wounds, mentions of death let me know if I missed any :)
Pairings: Dean Winchester x sister reader, Sam Winchester x sister reader
*not my gif*
Summary: Ever since you first came home from the hospital, you and Dean had an unbreakable bond
A/N: Welcome to book place’s one year event!!
Inspired by: Where You Lead I Will Follow by Carole King
Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work
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Loving you the way I do
“This is your baby sister, Y/n,” This might be the first time since his mother was alive that Dean had heard his fathers voice be as soft as it was.
“Can I hold her? Please, can I hold her?” Sam begged, bouncing up and down on his toes in anticipation.
“Dean gets to hold her first, Sam,” John scowled slightly, “We talked about this already.”
The- now middle- Winchester sibling stopped jumping immediately and dropped his head slightly, “Sorry,” He mumbled, kicking his shoe slightly against the motel ground.
As gently as humanly possible, nine year old Dean gingerly held you in his arms, supporting your head the way your father had shown him before gazing at you in wonder.
You tossed and turned a little bit in the hospital blanket that was wrapped securely around you, before you blinked your eyes open slightly.
Instead of screaming and crying like he expected you to do, you just stared up at your older brother in the same amazement that he looked over you with; and that amazement soon melted into full adoration on his features.
“Is it my turn yet?” Sam whined, and John finally relented with a small huff.
The hesitation was visible on Dean's face, looking as if it pained him to pass you over to his little brother, something that escaped both Sam and John’s notice.
What John didn’t miss though, was the way his eldest son lingered near you and Sam, looking ready to spring forward at any moment and save you should Sam accidentally drop you.
“She’s fine, Dean, quit hovering.” John told his son gruffly. But for the first time in his life, the boy didn't snap at attention to scramble and do what his father had said. For the first time, he pretended as if he didn’t hear the man as he continued to stare down at you.
I know we’re gonna make it through
“I’ll be back in a couple days, don’t do anything to draw attention to yourselves.” John warned with a small glare before turning on his heel and exiting the motel room, slamming the door shut behind him.
Dean let out a small breath, glancing over his shoulder to where you sat on Sam’s lap on the crammed couch, both of you engrossed in the cartoon before you.
It had been two years since you were born, and Dean was yet to hear his fathers voice grow soft again, even around you. In fact, John began to try and distance himself from you as much as he could.
He had once confessed to Dean when he was almost black out drunk that it was because he had a child with a woman who wasn’t Mary, and while he and Sam could remind him of his late wife, you did no such thing.
It wasn’t your fault of course, and Dean knew that. He knew that it wasn’t fair for your father to distance himself from you for something you couldn’t control, which would inevitably affect you one way or another eventually.
He walked over to the couch before plopping down onto the small cushion beside the two of you and held out his arms, “Giver ‘er here, Sammy.”
The boy did so, and you giggled slightly at being passed around. You looked up at Dean with a wide smile before turning your attention back to the screen.
A small sigh escaped his lips as he watched over his two siblings, both who were completely oblivious to the fact that John had only left a few cans of food in the room and a very limited amount of money without the certainty of when he would return.
He placed a small kiss on the top of your head. He was going to get you all through this, just like he always did.
And I would go to the ends of the earth
“We asked for a parent or guardian of Y/n Winchester.” The principal raised a single eyebrow as he spoke, eyeing the clearly high school level student.
“I’m her older brother,” Dean grunted with narrowed eyes, “Isn’t that good enough if our father can’t make it?”
The older man sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Fine, fine. We should get this started, then.” He then beckoned with his hand for you and one of your classmates to come into his office.
You shuffled in, eyes lighting up when you spotted Dean and you hurriedly squealed, rushing over and jumping into his arms, “Hey, sweetheart.” He mumbled, pressing a kiss in your hair.
“What is this about?” The mother of your classmate demanded, shooting daggers at you and your brother from where she sat in a chair a couple feet away.
“I’m afraid we are going to have to suspend the two of them,” The principal spoke.
A look of bewilderment came over Dean's features, “S-suspend? For what? She’s five!”
“Even so, they both must be held accountable for their actions.”
“Which was what, exactly?” He demanded, grip tightening around you protectively.
“The two of them got into a small fight and disrupted the class.” He informed him and the other mom.
“That’s outrageous!” Said mother shrieked, jumping to her feet, “My daughter would never get into a fight!”
“She hit me, I didn’t do anything,” You mumbled into Dean's ear, and he felt his anger begin to boil in his blood.
“Y/n didn’t do anything,” Dean stated, a venomous glint in his eyes as he stared down the mother and the principal.
“Oh?” The woman screeched, whirling around and pointing a finger at him, “And how did you figure that out?” She hissed.
“Because she told me she didn’t,” He said plainly.
She scoffed and rolled her eyes as if he just said the most idiotic thing she’d ever heard, “And how do you know you can believe her?”
Dean stood up immediately, you still clutched to his chest as he glared right back at the older woman, “Because she isn’t lying.” He told her with a dangerous tinge in his tone before simply turning on his heel and striding out of the office.
Your arms wrapped around his neck and you buried your face in his shirt, “Thanks, De.” You whispered.
'Cause, darling, to me that's what you're worth
“What the hell is this?” John snapped with a glare, picking up a doll that had gently been set on the table.
Dean swallowed, eyes flitting over to your sleeping form on the bed beside him, your chest rising and falling steadily.
You hadn’t meant to, and Dean knew that. You were only eight, you hadn’t meant to wander out the store with the doll in your grip as if it was already yours and not something you had just picked up off the shelf.
He had been too preoccupied to even notice until the two of you got home, and he had sighed as he watched your eyes fill with tears and your bottom lip wobble as you stared up at him after telling you that it would have to be taken back.
Reluctantly, he had given in and decided that it wouldn’t even matter if you brought it back now, so he had said he would let you keep it this one time if you never did it again.
Of course, Dean couldn’t tell his father that, then he would be angry at you. And your older brother always did everything in his power to shield you from that side of John.
“I-I took it, sir.” Your older brother cleared his throat, glancing up at his fathers raging form, “I wanted to get her a toy to have.”
The older man let out a loud scoff, rolling his eyes, “Why the hell would you do that?”
“Because sh-she needs toys,” He tried to sound as confident as he could without his voice wavering again. You needed him, he would not give you up like that, “I thought she needed toys.” He was more confident this time.
John dropped the doll carelessly to the ground with a snarl, “Next time,” He seethed, “Next time I catch you pulling any of this shit, there’s gonna be consequences.”
He was talking to Dean as if he weren’t seventeen years old. As if he were still just a child.
But the boy bit his tongue and nodded his head once, visibly relaxing once his father stomped out of the room. He looked back at you and let a small sigh loose, relieved that you hadn’t woken up.
Carefully, he pulled the blankets higher on your body that had slipped down from some tossing and turning.
Where you lead, I will follow
“Dude,” Sam spoke up, glancing away from his homework for a split second to give Dean a look, “She’s fine.”
The man immediately froze, stopped tapping his foot and snapped his head over to his younger brother, “What?”
“Y/n,” The younger boy's head was already facing the textbook again, “She just went out with a couple friends. You can stop stressing out, she's fine.”
Dean hadn’t even realized that he had eagerly been staring out the motel window, awaiting your return with about as much impatience as a toddler.
“I know that,” He shot back defensively, forcing his muscles to relax from his stiff, upright sitting position and relax against the back of the chair.
Sam looked up again, eyebrows raised so high that they disappeared under his hair, “Oh? You’re not staring at the parking lot as if she didn’t just leave five minutes ago?”
“No,” Dean grumbled, sinking down and crossing his arms over his chest.
A sigh left Sam’s lips, “She’s eleven, dude. And she’s just down the road if you need to get to her.”
“Or if she needs to get to me.” He hadn’t even thought as the words slipped through his lips.
There was a pause, “Yeah… yeah, if she needs to get to you, she can easily do it.” He reassured his older brother.
Despite the clear way the words were forced out, Dean still relaxed for real when he heard them, but didn’t move away from the window as he waited for you to return.
Anywhere that you tell me to
You shuffled through the door, head hung low as you dropped your backpack with a small ‘thud’ beside the table. Sam reached out and rubbed your shoulders comfortingly.
Dean looked over his shoulder from where he was preparing dinner, “Hey, sweetheart, hey Sammy-“ He cut himself off when he caught sight of your defeated look and Sam’s pitying one, “What is it?” He immediately rushed out, “What’s wrong?”
You just sniffled slightly and crossed your arms over your chest, kicking at the floor.
“Sam?” He automatically turned his attention to the boy when you didn’t answer, “What’s wrong?” He demanded again.
John had just dropped the two of you off back at the motel after school before rushing off, saying that the hunt was not over even though he thought it had been.
A tear slipped down your cheek, and right as it did so, you took off towards the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind you, leaving your brothers behind.
“Sam.”
“There’s this father-daughter dance going on for her grade,” He sighed, and it clicked into place right away for Dean.
“Dad couldn’t go?” He asked softly.
“He wouldn’t,” Sam corrected him angrily with a scoff, crossing his arms over his chest, “He told her it was a waste of time.”
All at once, a blinding rage boiled up inside of Dean, one of the only times in his entire life that he was anything but scared of his father. For once, he hated the man.
His thoughts snapped back to the present though when he realized that you were still crying in the bathroom, and he immediately reeled his emotions in. You needed him more than he needed to be angry right now.
With a sigh, he crept over and gently knocked on the door after shooting a swift nod of thanks to Sam’s direction, “N/n?” He called softly, “Sweetheart, it’s me. Can I come in?”
There was a moment of silence before the man heard a slight click of a door being unlocked, and he didn’t hesitate to rush in.
Your cheeks were stained with tears and your eyes were bloodshot in a way that made Dean's heart shatter into a million pieces.
“Oh, n/n,” He cooed, sinking onto the ground beside you and pulling you to his chest, rubbing a hand up and down your back comfortingly as you cried into his shirt.
He kept whispering comforting words in your ear until you were reduced to sniffles and hiccups that were an effect of after-sobbing.
“D-dad doesn’t want to go with me,” You choked out, clutching a handful of your brother's shirt tightly.
Dean sighed, unsure of what to tell you. Of whether or not he should lie and tell you that your father really did want to go, he was just busy. But he realized that you were now old enough to see right through that.
“I’ll go with you,” As soon as the thought popped into his mind, he hadn’t even given himself a second to process it before blurting it out loud.
You reeled back and stared up at him with wide eyes, “Wha-“
“I’ll go to the father-daughter dance with you,” He shrugged, “I know I’m not dad, but at least you’ll have someone to go with.”
Slowly, a large grin broke out onto your face and you threw yourself into his arms again, squeezing tightly as you let out an excited squeal, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
He laughed, hugging you with the same amount of force, “My pleasure, sweetheart.”
If you need, you need me to be with you
“Y/n?” Dean's eyebrows flew up in shock as the smell of alcohol filled his senses.
“Duh,” You slurred, stumbling slightly to stand upright as you made your way into the motel room, “Who else would I be? Bobby?”
“Are you… drunk?” He had to blink a couple of times to help his brain fully process what he was seeing. You, his baby sister, hardly fifteen years old, drunk out of your mind.
“Noo,” You whined, “God, get off my case.”
“Hey,” He stood up, arm wrapping around your waist automatically as you almost fell over your own feet, “Come on,” Gently, he led you over to sit down on the bed.
With a large sigh of relief, you fell onto your back and cuddled into the sheets, “Thanks, dad.” You mumbled.
Dean's eyes were practically bugging out of his head at this point. He swallowed thickly, “Y-you know I’m not dad, right?”
“Well not biololy-“ You paused with furrowed eyebrows, “Beeolog-“
“Biologically?” He filled in the missing word for you, unsure of where you were trying to go with this as he turned on his heel to get you a glass of water.
You snapped your fingers, pointing a lazy finger at him, “Bingo! You might not be my dad biologically, but you’re more of a father to me than John- John is.” Your head was nuzzling into a pillow by now.
He sputtered, practically dropping the glass before setting it down on the bedside table, “That-that’s not true.” He insisted, “You don’t think that.”
“Sober words are drunk thoughts,” You slurred before opening your eyes and pausing to think, “Wait… that’s not right…”
He sighed, picking up the water and coaxing you to sit up so he could give it to you.
“We’ll talk in the morning,” Dean told you softly, leaning forward to place a kiss on your forehead.
Even after you eventually drifted off to sleep, he couldn’t do so himself. Still trying to wrap his mind around what you said. About if you actually believed your own words.
I will follow where you lead
“Dean.” You reached up to pinch the bridge of your nose, “I’m old enough to go on a date.”
He scowled, sinking further into his chair with his arms crossed, “I disagree,” He grumbled.
“Of course you do,” You sighed before turning back to the bathroom mirror and checking your reflection one last time before stepping out.
“Do you have your gun?” He asked automatically. And if it were anyone else, you would have laughed. But this was your eldest brother, and you knew for a fact that he was dead serious.
“I don’t think I need-“
“Do you have your gun?” He demanded again, glowering from across the room.
“Yes, yes, I have my gun.” You reassured him, lifting up your handbag of where it was resting dramatically to further your point.
Silence rang out between the two of you for a moment, having your own mini stare down, before it was his turn to sigh and stand up before striding across the room to you.
He put his hands on each of your shoulders, looking you in the eye, “I just want what’s best for you.” He told you sincerely.
Your hands went up to gently grasp onto his wrists and squeeze, “I know that, De,” You spoke softly, “But you can’t protect me from everything.”
“I can try,” He replied stubbornly, cracking a smile when you snorted.
Taking your hands off of his, you moved your arms to wrap around his torso and pull him into a tight hug.
He was just about to return it when a knock rang through the room. Your date was at the door.
Slowly, you let go and looked up at your big brother with a smile.
If you're out on the road
“Where’s Sammy when you need him?” You groaned, dropping your head into your arms that rested against the table.
“Shut it,” Dean grumbled, “I can help you just as well as he could.”
You rolled your eyes up to the ceiling, “You’ve failed every math class you’ve ever been in, genius.”
“And who told you that?”
“Sam.” You said in a ‘duh’ tone.
Dean scoffed, “Well, Sammy’s a freaking liar.”
You rose your eyebrows and placed your head in your hand, waiting as his eyes raked up and down the paper.
“Well?” You asked after a few moments.
“Well, this is hard.” He snapped back.
You threw your hands up, “That's why I asked for help!”
He seemed to ponder something for a moment before putting the paper down tentatively, “Math was always stupid anyway. I don’t think it would hurt if you didn’t do this one assignment.”
“So, you’re admitting to not knowing how to do this?”
“…no.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“… fine, I failed every math class I’ve ever taken.”
Feeling lonely, and so cold
“You’re gonna be fine, you’re gonna be fine.” Dean muttered, not knowing if he was trying to reassure you or himself more as he put so much pressure on the gas that his foot had begun to hurt.
“D-Dean-“ You muttered from the passenger seat, lulling your head to the side to try and face him.
Quickly, he shushed you, doing everything in his power not to focus solely on the crumbled up shirt you were holding against your stomach to try and apply pressure to your wound. He knew if he focused on that for longer than a couple of seconds, he would abandon his mission of getting you straight to a hospital and try to take care of it on his own.
He knew his mind would kick into a protective, frenzy overdrive and he wouldn’t allow himself to wait until he arrived at his destination.
Of course, the one day Sam wasn’t feeling well enough to join the two of you on a hunt- one that was supposed to be so simple that Dean finally- begrudgingly- allowed you to come on, you had gotten shot in the stomach.
As soon as that had happened, everything about the hunt immediately flew as far from Deans mind as humanly possible, even letting the shooter get away in his panicked state as his brain switched to autopilot mode and he scooped you up and rushed you to the car.
Nothing was going to happen to you. Nothing was going to happen to you. Nothing was going to happen to you. Nothing was-
A violent cough raked through your body, making your older brother visibly flinch as he pressed down harder on the pedal, even if he was already going as fast as he could.
“You’re gonna be okay, sweetheart,” He muttered, harshly blinking away the tears that began to pool in his eye ducts.
All you have to do is call my name
“Dean?” You whispered into the darkness hesitantly.
“Wh-What? What’s wrong?” His eyes immediately snapped open and he flew out of the bed at your nervous tone.
He gently took ahold of each of your shoulders and blinked the sleep away from his eyes as they scanned your face through the darkness for any sign of distress.
“I-I had a nightmare…” You muttered weakly, feeling heat begin to spread to your cheeks as you averted your eyes from your elder brother.
“Oh,” He breathed out, relaxing only slightly when he realized that you were in no immediate danger, “Oh, it’s okay, sweetheart.” He quickly wrapped his arms around you and brought you to his chest.
Your own arms snaked around him in return, burying your face in his chest and allowing him to rock both of you back and forth slightly as he rubbed your back soothingly.
“Can I stay?” You whispered meekly, refusing to look him in the eyes from the sheer embarrassment of it all.
“Of course,” He answered without hesitation, keeping an arm wrapped around you as he gently led you to the bed.
As soon as you were both lying down and under the sheets, you cuddled into your older brothers chest and let out a little sigh of content, “Thank you, De.” You whispered sleepily.
“I have nightmares all the time too,” He whispered after a few moments of silence, “They got worse after you almost died on that hunt.”
You felt his arms tighten around you as he spoke, and you held on just as tight in return.
“We’re okay,” He spoke comfortingly, kissing the top of your head again, “We’re okay.”
And I'll be there on the next train
“I-I need help,” You spoke shakily into the phone, wrapping your free arm tighter around yourself as you spoke.
“Alright, I’m on my way.” Came Dean's determined reply.
No, ‘I told you so’. No, ‘You made this mess, you can get out of it yourself’. No, ‘You shouldn’t have gone in the first place’. Just your selfless, loving brother who was willing to drop everything he was doing because you had made a mistake. Because you had insisted that you could finally go on a solo hunt despite his protests and pleas. Because he had been so scared of a repeat from the last time he had allowed you to go on a hunt. And even that time you were with him, this time you wouldn’t be.
And now you were in over your head and you needed your older brother to bail you out.
“Dean?” You sniffled slightly into your phone, “I’m sorry.”
“I know, sweetheart, I know.” He spoke soothingly.
In the background, you hear the car start as if he had just been sitting in it waiting for your call.
You wouldn’t be surprised. But you couldn’t find it in yourself to be mad at him.
Where you lead, I will follow
“Sam’s gonna kill us ya’know.” You spoke, shoveling another spoonful of cereal into your mouth.
“What Sammy doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Dean replied calmly, leaning back against the couch cushions, eyes trained solely on the Scooby-Doo episode.
“We’re supposed to be researching lore about the case,” Even though you said it, you made no effort to turn off the television and go back to work.
“You and I both know that he’ll do all of it anyway,” He reminded you, “Might as well enjoy our time instead of wasting it.”
A chuckle escaped from your lips as you softly shook your head back and forth, folding your legs underneath you and entertaining your brother by watching his favorite show with him.
Anywhere that you tell me to
“How do you mess up making toast?” You yelled over the fire alarm.
“I don’t know! Okay? I don’t know!” Dean's voice boomed back as he wildly jumped around with a towel while trying to fan the smoke out of the room.
Despite his protests, the alarms screeching didn't come to the halt you had hoped for. If anything, it seemed to get even louder.
“I leave you alone for five minutes and this is what happens!” You scolded, “I swear, I feel like I’m the older one sometimes.”
“Just shut it and help me!” He snapped.
You sighed irritatedly, but grabbed a towel anyway and joined in on his efforts of stopping an almost inevitable fire.
It took a while- and a lot more screaming matches- before the alarm finally died down and the only thing that remained from the fire was the ringing in your ears, the faint smell of smoke, and a burnt beyond recognition piece of toast.
“Let’s… let’s not speak of this ever again.” Dean finally huffed out after catching his breath.
A wicked smile made its way onto your face at his words, “In your dreams,” You told him sinisterly.
His face dropped and he looked at you in horror, “Don’t you dare-“
“Oh, Sam,” You sang, practically dancing out of the room.
“Get back here!” The sound of thundering feet coming bounding after you made you squeal and pick up your pace.
If you need, you need me to be with you
“Y/n?” You ferociously wiped away the tears that stained your cheeks when you door was knocked on, “Sweetheart? Are you okay?”
“Y-yeah, I’m fine, Dean.” You silently cursed yourself for the small crack in your voice as you spoke. Though you doubted it would even need to be there for your brother to know that something was wrong.
“I’m coming in,” He announced, waiting only a split second to see if you would protest before opening your door and immediately scanning his eyes over you to see what was the matter.
“Hey, hey,” He murmured gently, dropping down in front of where you sat on your bed once he realized you didn’t appear to be in any physical pain, “What’s wrong?”
You shook your head when you were unable to speak, averting your eyes from his wide, concerned ones.
“Talk to me,” He pleaded softly. He hated when something was the matter that he didn’t know about, it absolutely killed him.
“It’s just-“ You choked out a small sob, “Why?”
His eyebrows furrowed as he unconsciously swiped a piece of hair from your face, “Why, what, sweetheart?”
Again, you shook your head, “I’m being so stupid-“
“Hey,” He gently grabbed your chin and made you look at him, “Anything making you upset is not stupid. Now what’s wrong?”
“Why can’t we just have a normal life?” His heart dropped, “Why did dad have to drag us into this? We’ve lost so many people because of what we do and I just don’t know if I can take it anymore-“
“Hey, hey,” He shushed you softly, immediately wrapping his arms around you, “Shh, it’s okay, I know. Believe me, sweetheart, I know. It’s not fair. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Dean.” You sniffled, pulling away and wiping your face with your sleeve.
“Still,” Tears began to form in his own eyes and he was forced to harshly blink them away, “I wish more than anything that you could have been spared from this. And I am so damn sorry that you weren’t.”
“I don’t want this for you either, Dean.” You told him softly.
He smiled sadly, “I know, sweetheart, I know. But at least we have each other.”
You were finally able to smile slightly at that, “Yeah, we do. Don’t we?”
I will follow
Humming lightly to yourself, you put the finishing touches on the dish before you and stepped back with your hands on your hips, proudly smiling down at it.
“N/n!” Dean's voice echoed through the halls, “I’m home!”
“In the kitchen!” You echoed back, excitedly jumping to hide the plate behind your back just in time for him to enter.
He entered with a wide smile, “Hey, sweetheart, what’s-“ He froze and eyed you suspiciously, “What are you up to?”
Unable to even attempt to hide your eagerness anymore, you leapt to the side and dramatically put your arms out to the side, “Ta da!” You guestered to the plate you had previously been hiding.
A wide grin automatically broke out onto his face as he came scurrying over to the counter with childlike excitement, “Pie?” He practically squealed, “You made me pie?”
You nodded proudly, putting your hands on your hips.
He rushed over and scooped you in a long hug, spinning you around in a way that made you giggle, “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” He gushed while gently setting you down, “Have I ever told you that you’re the best sister ever?” He was already taking a fork and shoveling some of it into his mouth.
“I could do with hearing it more often.” You teased.
“You’re the best sister ever!” He cheered, devouring the dessert happily.
Where you lead
The steady rocking of the car did nothing to help your tired state, nor did the music softly drifting out of the speakers and filling the small space effortlessly.
Dean's eyes flitted over to you for a quick second, “You can go to sleep, it’ll be a couple more hours until we get there.” He told you softly.
You shook your head stubbornly despite the yawn you had to bite back, “I wanna stay up with you,” You murmured, unconsciously cuddling up against the seat.
“We had a long day, just get some rest.” He insisted in the same gentle tone.
Finally, you weren’t able to hold back your exhaustion any longer and you practically melted into the cushions, “Fine,” You mumbled, “But only for a few minutes.”
He laughed lightly, reaching over with one hand and ruffling your hair playfully, “Sleep well, sleepyhead.” He teased.
“I love you, De,” You whispered, eyes already drifting shut and your head lulling to rest against the window.
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
Idjits 👟- @ineedmorefanfics2 @roseblue373 @popfishjr @kiyomi-uchiha777
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will you marry me?
5 times remus has asked you to marry him and 1 extra.
tags: remus lupin x f!reader,, fluff,, angst,, no mention of the word y/n,, childhood friends to lovers,, mutual pining,, character death
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first time at 5 years old;
your eldest sister was off to marry in spring and so naturally the whole house was buzzing with excitement and terror. and you, like any impressionable child, felt the tingles of something exciting happening before your very eyes.
lulu, your best ultimate mate as you so graciously dubbed him, felt this energy too.
or at least the many flowers and coloured envelopes scattered on the table, seem to ring some alarms for him.
“this table is too small,” he frowns, stopping his pretend chopping of the leaves, and looking longingly at the dinner table, filled with scattered wedding paraphernalia.
you shrugged, ponytail swishing as you move around him.
“we have to make room, my sister is to be mary.” you confidently repeated what your mum said to you in the morning. when you had whined at the lack of play space.
now you’re humming like it’s obvious, why you were given a child’s table and now have to play kitchen with one pot instead of four because of the lack of space. the confident pretence of a child to show they’re mature enough not to complain.
“why does she have to be mary?” he asks, his shoulder bumping into you, “i thought she likes her name hilda?”
you scoff, clearly lulu does not know of the way of being mary. so naturally, you being older (by a few months) needs to teach him. or else, however is he going to be a proper grown up?
“because she wants to be a wife. so she has to be mary first.”
“a wife?” he asks intrigued, “like mummy and daddy?”
you laugh, patting his head, “only mummies can be a wife, silly. daddies are hus-butts.” you stood straighter, having this conversation with your mum before. “mother says, you have to love first and then be a mary. so you can play with them even after dinner and eat chocolates and make children.”
he seems to perk up even more, looking at you. his eyes as usual, gleaming with obvious awe, “to make children? with what?”
you pout, having no answer.
you haven’t asked your mum this question yet. too busy thinking of how many mary’s there are in your town.
still, you try to think of an answer.
you don’t want to let lulu down, you are after all his only hope for knowing things.
luckily, you’ve overheard this one conversation last week, your sister moving after she becomes mary so they can begin making a family.
you raise your head, hand on your hip and your other pointed as if in a lecture.
you said in your most confident voice. “you enter specific rooms in the house, and always make sure it’s locked. and then you wait until you can come out with children. but you must only do this if you love them. that is the ultimate rule. or else it won’t work.”
“wow,” he breathed, he clenched his fists then, looking utmost determined. before screaming in glee and confidence, the only way a naive child could. “then let’s make children! be mary and then we can play all night!”
you clicked your tongue, disappointed he hadn’t comprehended. “but you should love me first.”
his cheeks heated pink, indignant, “but i do. i love you a whole lot! and i wanna play here all the time.”
you shook your head, grim. “we can’t.” sounding so heartbroken, as much as any five year old could sound.
because you’ve already asked your mum if you could make children with lulu and she said, you’re only suppose to do that if you’re a grown up in love.
you asked, what’s the difference? you were plenty grown. 5 is one hand after all.
and your sister said to you, amusement lacing her words, a grown up to take care of you and cherish you. someone able to help you and grow with you.
you look at lulu. his thin arms and his lack of knowledge.
certainly not a grown up. not a proper man who can be with you, at all.
“i don’t love you, so we can’t.” you say this huffing, now turning completely to your make shift pot and stirring the water and leaves.
lulu cried loud that day, wailing like a little kid.
and nodding to yourself knowing you’ve made the right choice. he is so not a grown up. even if his pinched face made you feel queasy.
your mum rushing over and asking what was wrong. when you told her, she laughed out loud, and hugged you both, brushing remus’ hair out of his tear streaked face.
and you wonder what was so funny when he looked so sad.
second time at 11 years old;
remy was horrified.
you realize this as he stares at you in a crazed panic. and as always, it was up to you to be strong.
“what do you mean by that?” puffing your chest out and stood to cover remy from potter.
“didn’t you know? kissing makes girls pregnant.” he whispered, loudly in the empty halls, scandalized as he went to look at your stomach as if it will inflate this instant.
you fight the urge to cover that area with your robes. willing yourself to be brave for the both of you.
“surely… that isn’t true.”
potter scoffs, offended to have been doubted, “yes it is, i heard a prefect say so.”
you feel remy grab the back of your robes in panic. the reference enough to persuade him. you almost roll your eyes, but instead sighed to calm yourself down.
“i ought to tell you lot to be careful.” potter looked at the both of you meaningfully, and inhaling sharply as a flash of embarrassment burns into your brain.
you weren’t able to will the heat of your cheeks to dissipate, before it showed on your cheeks. your face and neck warmed red. mortified that potter knows the secret kiss shared between you and your friend, currently pulling at your robes.
it was both of your first kiss, deciding to just get it all over with, so you both can know what was so special about it.
it wasn’t much.
it felt soft, and quick.
nothing at all sparkling or romantic, like others said.
“alert your parents immediately, else you might be kicked out. and i’ve grown quite fond of the two of you, you know.” potter nodded at you, looking as if he pitied you both before crossing his arms as he strutted away.
you look at remy fully now. he was standing too close and still holding unto your robes like a lifeline.
“did you really have to tell potter of all people what we did?” you scoff, crossing your arms and tapping your feet like how your mother used to do it when she was cross with something.
he seemed to shrink into himself more, “i’m sorry, he said he saw it, and pestered me into confessing.” he bit his lips to bleed. “i didn’t know you were gonna be in trouble.” he sniffled.
and you immediately cooled, reaching forward and pulling at his chin to stop his assault and softly rubbing at his bleeding lips with your robes with another click of your tongue.
“it’s fine, he already saw, nothing else we can do.”
“so, what are we going to do now?” he asked softly, he looked at you, eyes filling with worry and sadness. “what if you are? we’ll get in trouble, won’t we?”
you bring down your arm now, before breathing out deeply.
you try to think of why it wouldn’t be true, but the tone of his voice was making you worry endlessly too.
even though you know it wasn’t all true, because your sister kissed her husband plenty of times in the house and they don’t have kids.
and you were about to point that out to him. to reassure your ever warm, too soft friend, that james potter was full of it and to relax.
but remy stood straighter, his cold hands gripping yours tightly, so much that it hurts. now standing a bit taller than you. pink lips pulled into a straight line and eyes looking straight at you. soft brown eyes no longer holding any worry, instead with resolute determination.
“marry me,” he said, “i promise to look after our children and work.” he nodded at you, as if urging you to say yes. to trust him.
a look entirely different from what you remembered from way before, yet feeling all the same regardless.
the reason of proposal was ridiculous in of itself that you couldn’t help but laugh.
“i’m not pregnant you dolt, pregnancy doesn’t work that way. i assure you.” rolling your eyes in amusement. “so don’t you go proposing like some weirdo.”
he stopped for a second, as if startled as he kept looking at you. before leaving a shaky sigh, head hanging low.
“okay,” his lips in a wobbly smile, looking weird. “good.”
third time at 17 years old;
sirius had managed to sneak in a case of firewhisky in one winning after-party in the common room.
it was safe to assume that everyone was positively sloshed. if judging from the slurring exclaims from james and a red face peter barely able to stand and sirius laughing maniacally at something marlene has said to him.
and remus being the self-appointed responsible one, had taken it upon himself to maintain sobriety the entire night. to look after the three of them in the aftermath.
resolutely sitting next to you the whole night, engaging in a missed conversation about gossip and literature.
“still feeling confident you can handle these three blokes up in your room?”
he grimaced, already rubbing his temples, probably from regret and the james’ incessant off-key singing. “i don’t really have much of a choice now, do i?”
you laugh easy, “with the way james is attempting to strip, i think not. you did volunteer, taking responsibility and what not.”
he sighed rather audibly, over the soft music of the party that was already dying down. most of the attendees already settling into their respective rooms.
and you look at remus, slumped into the chair, and laugh to yourself.
still so helpless, you think. you guess you had to step up again. pick up the slack a little bit.
you try to trick yourself into thinking you were tired and miffed about it, but you find you quite like feeling needed. especially by remus.
whom of which seems to be way into being responsible now and being a proper grown up. one that follows curfew and plans his day.
he barely looks at you for help anymore.
he always has an answer to questions now.
as the boys depend on him for being the responsible one in their little foursome.
off to late night adventures and pranks. no longer the crying, awe struck, nervous kid you grew up knowing. makes you feel kind of sad.
“alright then,” you exhaled, “i’ll lend you a hand for dealing with the demons.” you stood up whilst downing your drink, a sweet concoction by dorcas.
he looks up at you, eyes looking bloodshot and tired. he softly shook his head, “you don’t have to.”
you frown, clicking your tongue and placing a hand on each of your hips. “i said i’ll do it, so i’m going to. now stand up and let’s go.”
he looked at you just a second longer and sighs looking away, a soft smile etched on lips before looking at you again. looking won over.
standing up, dusting the invisible dirt on his trousers and nodding.
he towers over you now, seemingly out of no where.
you realize this as your neck strain looking up at him. as you gather the rowdy, intoxicated boys back to the dorms.
something sirius was extremely grateful for and the others echoed.
“thanks for— for taking care of me darling,” sirius breathed hot into your face before pecking you on the cheek.
“yes, you’re very welcome,” you hummed amused, tucking his covers into his sides, making sure he couldn’t move out of bed.
sirius giggles, “it feels like being tucked in by a mum,” before looking at you serious, eyes wide and looking more sober than he actually was, as if realizing something.
“you’re the mum in the group!” he exclaimed.
“im the what?”
james overhears this and exclaims his agreements.
“oh you are! you’re the perfect mum size!” james said.
you turn to him, “and what’s that supposed to mean?” you ask hotly.
“you’re very caring and mum-like, and you scold like a mum too, sometimes you even talk like one,” peter mumbled.
you look at remus, giving you an amused look, lips stretching like close to laughing.
“this is going to be the last time i’m helping you lot, if you call me mum one more time.” you threatened lightly.
sirius hums loud like he doesn’t believe you, “it’s not all bad, not like you’re gonna be a single-mum. remus is gonna be the dad after all.” he said like he was so sure.
and james, of ourse, echoed his agreements.
“obviously,” james tutted from his bed, tucked in tight by remus.
“yesh,” peter slurred, “he looks like—remus looks like he knows how to read maps.” he breathes out, like on a verge of sleeping.
james gasps, “he does! remus is a map reading dad, nothing has made more sense than this moment right here. you are meant to hold a map in your hands remus, you’re a daddy compass.”
remus looks perturbed, eyebrows scrunched and lips into a tight frown. he shakes his head then, before closing each of their curtains, not even bothering to justify james’ quip. “night lads,”
“night dad,” sirius teased from his bed, before shuddering excessively, “never thought i’d say that again.”
you snort out a laugh before you could help it. “good night everyone.”
you look at remus, and see him gesture to come outside.
quietly walking out of their room and closing the door behind you.
“come, i’ll walk you out.” grabbing your hand softly and pulling you down the corridor to the stairs. dropping his hold just as quick as if he hadn’t meant to hold it in the first place.
“sorry about the lads, the lack of filter is unfortunately not the effect of alcohol but is just them naturally.”
you chuckle softly, rubbing your tingling palms on the side of your skirt.
as if you didn’t know that already. those three have already been a staple into your everyday life for majority of the year. they, quite frankly, grow on you like some persistent vine on a house.
“it’s fine, it was quite tame compared to the usual rubbish they spew most of the time.”
remus looks at you, barely able to hide the smirk emerging from his lips.
“don’t tell me you liked them calling you mum?” the teasing lilt in his voice impossible to miss.
you lightly push on his shoulders. “don’t be disgusting, being called their mum is weird enough. and you implying i like it just makes it even weirder.”
“well imagine being called daddy compass by one of your mates, it’s gonna be hard looking at james tomorrow morning i’ll tell you that.”
you laugh excessively loud at this, before covering your mouth sheepish as you remember the time.
you look over at him, up and down as if assessing, “but you do look like a dad who knows how to read maps. wears khakis all the time and has a moustache.”
he rolls his eyes at you, as you grin in mirth, “well does that mean you’ll do me the honours of marrying me to avoid the life of a single parent to three demon boys?”
you laugh, shaking your head, “not exactly selling your case to me, are you?”
“won’t you reconsider though?” he moans, like he’s pained but you see the glint in his eyes even in the dark dorm room stairs. “it is after all for the children.”
you know he’s joking, hardly a night of partying counts as anything like a proper proposal.
but your brain can’t help but supply the thought that he looked quite fuller now. arms looking sturdier, and harder. he is acting more responsibly, all the professors trust him.
he was almost like a proper grown up now.
and you remember the echo of the ultimate rule in your childhood.
you shake your head, and an easy smile spread on your lips. stopping at the stairs for your dorms, “over my dead body,”
and he laughs, the sound echoing in the trashed common room, “well alright, good night, beautiful.”
“good night remus.”
fourth time at 19 years old;
you knew james was serious about lily when you lot had graduated from hogwarts. but you didn’t know the extent of the seriousness until he said this after one of the order meetings.
“i’m going to ask lily to marry me.”
james had said this with such conviction, so sure and full of affection. you can’t help but feel awed.
he suddenly seemed mature. not like the doofus you’ve come to know and consider a confidant through these trying times.
but a proper adult, one who does taxes and knows how to set up an appointment for medical check ups and fights in wars.
james suddenly feeling very far away from you.
you feel remus shift, his leg pressing into yours. you look at him to see what he wanted, but saw he was just looking at james, eyes set hard.
you shook yourself out of your stupor. standing up abruptly, not meaning to leave the familiar press of remus’ leg against your thigh.
“that’s—that’s great news james, i would have never guessed you—oh you’re all grown up!” you wrap your arms around his shoulders, and him wrapping his around your middle with a giddy smile.
“thank you, mum.” he laughs, the on going joke still running strong. you squeeze him extra tight and pinching his arm for extra measure. before pulling away. “i never thought you had it in you to propose. i’d have half a mind to propose to lily on your behalf.”
he laughs, a bashful blush resting on his cheeks. “i figured, why wait, you know? tomorrow isn’t promised, and—i think spending every moment together is we all can do. i don’t want to die with regrets. i love her.”
you breathed in deep.
sirius coming forward too and slapping james in the back before giving his own congratulations and then peter and then remus too.
you were happy for them both, truly, having found one another even in these difficult times was awe-inspiring.
and then you start to wretchedly wonder if you could have that too. if only the circumstances were a bit different. would you have been given enough time to find another? enough to love? enough to marry?
you find your gaze sliding to remus, how strained his smile looked and wonder if he’s thinking the same.
he looked back at you, as he always does, and smiles gently. less strained now. like he was resigned.
you try to imagine if the circumstances were a bit different and he would find someone to love. someone to marry.
you feel your navel, coil in a bundle of nerves. a tension in your neck making you almost irate.
he gestured for you to follow him out.
like being compelled and weak, you follow without a question.
the night air was chilly, and feeling some sort of static on your skin, like building an unnerving suspense.
remus just sat and gestured for you to sit beside him.
the seat was cold, and you sat rigid like ice.
it’s been a while since you’ve last sat with remus like this. the order keeping all your hours occupied, mission after mission. surviving by the skin of your teeth.
all the world has gone fucked now, it didn’t feel quite real some time—like some sort of veil has just been pulled over your head making you see things clearer for the horrors awaiting your fates.
and in your mind loud with noise and worry, you almost didn’t hear him.
“why don’t we do it?”
“what?” you turn to him, hoping his face show an inkling, a clue as to what he had said.
he looked at you then, eyes still so warm even with the atrocities he’s faced and eyes still so bright in the night. a twinkling light reflecting in his eyes making him look younger. prettier.
“why don’t we get married?”
you lean back slightly in shock, “what?” you repeated, because you didn’t understand. this came so suddenly, words weirdly familiar but the intent wildly different than from all the others you’ve heard before.
you looked at his eyes. searching, still, for a clue or something that might make sense because what?
he laughs, the warm, soft sounding one you can barely hear. but it was just the two of you outside and it was quiet and you were sitting so close, so you hear it—loud and clear. the sound making you feel warm. “is that so crazy?”
he looked like a boy, happy and hopeful. his leg was pressing into your thighs again. the pressure grounding you.
his hands fidgeting deep within his pockets.
“i think we work well enough.” he added, with a small smile.
you feel something in your heart stutter, “work well enough,” you repeated. “glad to know i reach your standards for a bride, sir lupin.” you almost scoff. masking the bitter simmer of disappointment of his reason. and the coiling nerves still tightly wound in your navel, feeling heavy, making it harder to breathe.
he shrugs, “well you know, a lot of applicants have been killing themselves to be chosen. i reckon you ought to feel honoured.” he grinned over to you, still joking.
you rolled your eyes, “of course,”
“yeah?” he perked up, suddenly sitting straighter, his knees bumping into yours in his haste to look at you properly. “you want to?” he seemed shocked, overtly so, that it makes you laugh. a heat blooming on your face at his apparent willingness to marry you before shaking your head to avoid any confusion.
“no to the proposal but yes, that it is indeed an honour.”
he deflates, “ah,” he said softly, before laughing like he was embarrassed. “i just—i kept thinking what james said, about tomorrow not being promised—and, i, well i thought—“ he clears his throat before continuing. “i thought i might see what the fuss was about,”
you nodded, “‘m afraid marriage isn’t so simple. you have to love one another for a start.” you added somewhat bitterly, looking away.
“so you keep reminding me,” he says, laughing awkwardly.
fifth time at 38 years old;
you feel as if your life was reaching a crescendo.
the night glooming, brooding like the sky knows to colour it of fear and nerves.
it was going to come down to tonight, so it seems. whether we win or we lose. the end or the beginning. all those families we’ve lost and the families we’ve created. all our hopes and dreams sacrificed into this one night.
“you feeling alright?” remus asked to your left.
the glooming sky somehow illuminating his face all the same.
“as alright as anyone can be when facing a dark wizard.” you smirked, shrugging.
he laughs, still sounding so warm and soft.
you feel his fingers brush yours. you had half a mind to remind him to get ready and hold his wand tight.
you notice how keeps forgetting to do that. opting to hold unto you, just like he did before when he was a child from another time.
he only offers a closed lipped smile, looking at you the same way he has always looked at you. his stare the most familiar thing, it might as well be a part of you.
“i love you.” he breathed. and your heart hammered, your world tilting on its axis. shifting the very fabric of your universe.
and he looked relieved like he couldn’t wait to hold unto it any longer. and then he repeated it. more sure. louder. affectionate. looking straight into you. his brilliant, soft, warm eyes so full.
you wonder when did his gaze start to look at you like that?
and then you see;
his eyes looking as it did when he was five, shining with obvious awe.
his eyes when he was eleven, with resolute determination.
eyes when he was seventeen, glinting with mirth in the dark crevices of the dorms.
the look he gave you when he was nineteen, looking so boyishly happy and hopeful.
and now as he’s thirty-eight, looking at you with so much love, and longing, and pain, and joy.
“when this is all over,” he breathe, “will you marry me?”
so much time has passed by now that you had once thought it was too late for you. too late with him. something you always thought but could never have.
he was now undeniably a man. arms littered with scars and unwavering confidence as he looks at you. but his eyes still glimmer and twinkle all the same.
the undeniable rampage in your chest, your eyes searching for an answer or a clue for what he’s thinking.
“i love you,” he repeats, and gazing at you with that familiar eyes of his.
and you laugh because you found your answer. so you’ll give him his.
“yes.”
extra;
the battle was brutal, bodies piled on top of one another. those too young to know what they even fought for. those for their own ideals. and those caught in cross fires.
but it was over. and the good guys won.
but with so many lost, people thought, how could i possibly cheer?
but there was this type of solace when you’re gone. there was no more pain. all those gone can only do one thing, to let go. at least that’s what harry thinks.
staring down at the family he could’ve had.
your limp cold hand holding remus’ equally cold ones.
he wonders if someone intertwined your hands, or if you simply died holding on to each other. never to let go.
he realized it didn’t really matter. you were both gone. forever, but together.
he thinks of the comforting hugs you’ve given him in the short time you’ve spent with him, and the many stories remus told. and in this fierce pain he wonders if you ever saw the shiny, glinting ring in remus’ dresser hidden away ever since he was eighteen.
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fictionadventurer · 20 days
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For some reason, I'm thinking about Mary Ingalls.
I saw a Goodreads review talking about how ever since they were a kid, they disliked introverted quiet Mary in favor of bold outgoing Laura.
And that take bothers me because it was actually kind of the opposite of that.
In one of her columns written decades before the Little House books, Laura shares the story of the "Is blonde or brown hair prettier?" fight from Little House in the Big Woods. And she frames it as a story of how Mary was intelligent and good with words, and she could say the most cutting things, but the quiet Laura couldn't find the right words to respond with, so she'd be reduced to lashing out physically and thus getting in trouble for it. One sister liking indoor pursuits doesn't make her an introvert, and the other one liking outdoor pursuits doesn't make her an extrovert.
And that's also got me thinking about Mary's later life. Her blindness kept her inside. Whether she was introverted or extroverted, she was forced into a much more solitary existence than Laura was, who could go to school and make friends and run around town at will. Going to the blind school was her one chance in life to really socialize and make friends on a more even footing.
And anyway, one day I'd like to more properly explore the sisterly relationship as presented in these books. Because they are so deeply centered on Laura and her perspective, Mary barely shows up in the first books except to fight with Laura. And then when Mary goes blind, she becomes someone for Laura to take care of--another responsibility to consider as she takes over the role as eldest sibling. It's only in Little Town on the Prairie where the relationship shifts, and we get to see them interacting as two people. Mary admits that she was an insufferable goody-goody sometimes, but Laura also sees and admires the true virtue that Mary has cultivated, and how her blindness has given her a deep spiritual life unlike anything Laura's seen from anyone else. They've at last matured out of childhood rivalry and developed an adult understanding of each other's weaknesses and strengths.
It's just so much deeper and more nuanced than the common view of "quiet goody-goody Mary" and "bold and relatable Laura" would have you believe, and I think it deserves more appreciation.
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dragon-kazansky · 15 hours
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Bridgerton shade of blue
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Benedict Bridgerton x Female Reader
The Viscount is set on finding a wife this season, and you are trying again for your second season. While Anthony is dealing with trials between Edwina and Kate Sharma, you are dealing with trials of your own. Benedict Bridgerton is ever present in your life, but your pursuit to find a husband must come first. Society is ever so exhausting.
{Masterlist}
{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}
Season Two
Chapter Twenty - The sisters
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You step out of the carriage and look around you. The first ball of the season was always a grand affair. This one in particular as the queen had not yet chosen a diamond.
Last season, Lady Whistledown called Daphne Bridgerton a diamond of the first water, which made her stand out in the ton. Now, the queen was expected to choose a diamond every season. One lucky debutant would sparkle among all the others.
You take your mother's arm and head inside. Many were already present. Lots of lovely young ladies looking for partners for the evening. Your mother leaves your aide to go speak to some of the other mama's.
You stand alone near the entrance and look around. You couldn't spot anyone you knew. You decide to take a walk around the room.
Nerves were setting in. It was strange. You felt like you were doing all of this for the first time again. A few gentlemen glance at you as you pass by. You smile. They smile back. You keep walking.
As you make a turn about the room, you spot the Bridgertons arriving. You see Eloise dressed in a beautiful gown, yet looking uncomfortable. Violet looks very proud and excited. Then there's Benedict. Handsome and smiley.
You move quickly out of sight to avoid him. The way he had sketched you yesterday and what he had said had caused butterflies to rise in your stomach. You're not sure what to make of him right now.
While you try hard to avoid the gaze of the Bridgerton family, you do not escape the sight of Lady Danbury. As she sees you loitering around corners, she calls your name. Startled, you turn quickly in her direction. With a beck of her finger, you make your way over to her.
"Lady Danbury."
"Allow me to introduce you to my guests this season. Lady Mary Sharma and her daughters. Miss Kathani Sharma and Miss Edwina Sharma."
"Delighted," you smile at them.
Mary smiles politely at you. Her daughters do, too. Edwina, in particular, shares a striking resemblance to her mother. You take a look at the two sisters. Kathani is taller than Edwina, who is rather petite. Both of them have eye that sparkle in the lights of the ballroom. Their smiles are kind, though you sense a little nervousness from Edwina.
"A pleasure. You must call me Kate," the eldest of the two says, stepping forward ro greet you properly.
"Kate. I am looking for friends this season, I would be delighted to help make you both feel more comfortable this season if Lady Danbury agrees?"
Lady Danbury gives you a nod with an amused glint in her eye.
"I would be delighted. As would my sister, I'm sure." Kate turns to look at Edwina.
"Very much so." Edwina smiles.
Edwina's voice is higher than Kate's. She speaks softer, too. There are clear differences between them, but at the same time they are rather alike.
You smile at them both.
Lady Danbury comes up beside you and leans in rather close. "Avoiding your friends?"
"Not exactly."
"No? It looked to me like you were hiding." She chuckles.
"I was merely taking some time to myself. I need to get back into this. Last year did not quite go to plan." You avoid looking at her.
"Good things come to those who wait. I recommend branching out and growing your social circle. Miss Penelope Featherington could perhaps use another friend."
You look in the direction Lady Danbury is looking. Penelope stands among mamas gossiping, no doubt. You get the hint and make your way over there, hoping to spend time with the Sharma sisters again soon.
Perhaps this year is, in fact, a good time to make mkre friends. It gives you an excuse to avoid Benedict for a while, too.
"Penelope," you greet her softly.
"Oh, hello." She smiles shyly.
"May I keep you company a while?" You ask.
"Would you not prefer being among the others?" She asks in return.
You glance around the room and then back at her. "For tonight, no. I think I would much prefer to be a wallflower."
Penelope smiles slightly.
"How are you?"
"I am well." She nods. "Just... biding my time, I suppose."
The truth was that Penelope was watching and listening. Though she couldn't quite tell you that, or for what purpose. You would never believe her anyway.
"Is that Lady Mary Sheffield Sharma?" Portia asks, watching the Sharma family walk by. Kate smiles at you as she passes. You smile back at her. "I can't believe she would show her face here again," Portia continued.
"A scandal, mama?" Cressida asks her mother.
"Lady Mary was the incomparable of our season, until she fell in love with and married some kind of clerk, I hear. The two of them absconded to India, thereafter."
"A maharajah I would have understood, but the man was no more than a common worker who already had a child." One of the other mamas chimed in.
"That must be her. The older one," Portia points out toward Kate. You look at her from beside Penelope. There was no denying Kate was gorgeous.
"Lady Mary's parents, the Sheffields, never lived down the shame, did they?"
"Too ashamed to show their faces in London."
"If only every family could be as respectable as ours. Yes, Lady Featherington?" Lady Cowper chuckles softly.
You don't see Portia's response, too focused on watching Kate and Edwina.
You turn to Penelope. "No luck for you either?" You ask softly.
"Hm? Oh. No..." Penelope looks down shyly. "Excuse me." She leaves your side and walks away. You sigh softly. You ignore the chuckle of Cressida behind you and walk off in the other direction.
You have so far managed to successfully dodge Benedict, and for that you feel great relief. He must be preoccupied elsewhere. As you walk about the room you spot Edwina being asked to dance by Lord Corning. He's a tall handsome fellow with a good background. Edwina dances elegantly with him.
"Do you know him?"
You turn to find Kate looking at you. You smile and shakes your head. "Not personally. I know of him. He's very kind."
Kate watches her sister quietly.
"Are you not dancing?" You ask.
"I am here for my sister. Hers is the only match I care about. What about you?" She asks in return.
"Oh, no. I don't think I fit into society. It's too busy, too wanting. I don't think there is a perfect match for me. I got close last season, but it did not work out."
"What of him?" Kate nods across the room. You follow her gaze and find Benedict looking at you. He makes his way over once you spot him.
"I must go," you excuse yourself and flee.
Kate watches you go, and then watches Benedict follow the path you have taken. She wasn't sure what that was about, but she felt inclined not to intervene.
You find refuge in a dark corner behind some flowers. You sigh as you lean against the wall. Dodging Benedict all night was going to be harder than you thought.
"Are you hiding from me?"
You jump and turn to see Benedict looking at you. "No."
"It seemed like you were."
"I just need some space. All that dancing..."
"I didn't see you dancing." Benedict reaches for your dance card. "Your card is empty."
You take your hand back and sigh. "I'm sorry. I was just... confused."
"About that?" He asks.
"Forget about it. Why aren't you dancing?" You ask.
"I'm avoiding the mamas."
You chuckle softly.
"Dance with me?" He asks.
Your heart skips a beat. He offers you his hand and you know you can't really say no without making him worry. You take his hand and let him guide you to the floor. You join in with the dance.
Benedict looks at you as you both dance. "So tell me, why have you been avoiding me?"
You know he's not going to let this go. "I was embarrassed, I suppose."
"Embarrassed? Why?"
"Can I ask you something?" You ask softly.
"Of course."
"What do you see when you look at me?"
Benedict is struck into silence. He wasn't expecting that question from you. He has to remind himself that you're both dancing and take care not to step on your toes.
"You're beautiful, kind, honest, smart. You brighten up a room just by being in it. Your smile is genuine. You worry a lot, but I like that about you. It shows just how much you care about things and people. If I like you, other shall surely adore you."
You feel breathless. Benedict always knows just what to say to send you into a tizzy, but his last few words stung. He likes you, but not like that.
You put on a brave smile.
"Thank you, Benedict."
You both finish the dance, and he escorts you over to the refreshment table. He grabs you a glass and takes one for himself. You both sip your drinks. Before either of you can pick up the conversation, Violet comes over and leans into Benedict's other side.
"Have you seen your sister or your brother?" She asks, looking rather flustered.
"They managed to escape you? Good for them." Benedict smiles.
You nudge him harshly with your elbow. Benedict lets out a quiet ow and walks away, leaving you with Violet. You turn to her with a soft smile. "I'm sure they're not far."
Violet smiles softly and nods. "Have you two made up then?" She asks, referring to you and Benedict.
"Made up?"
"I was under the impression something happened." She looks a little confused.
"All is well. Your son has helped me see something in me I hadn't noticed before. That's all."
Violet smiles and then shifts her gaze as Lady Danbury approaches. You greet the other woman and she nods at you with a pleasing smile.
"Lady Danbury. Splendid evening," Violet comments.
"For the most part. There are a few guests whose absence I might not have regretted."
Lady Bridgerton laughs. "I do hope I'm not one of them."
"You and I have common interest this season, it seems." Lady Danbury tells her.
"I heard. Your wards, I look forward to meeting them."
"I met them earlier," you chime in. "Two very beautiful ladies."
Violet seems pleased by your words.
The two ladies talk away, and you find this a good opportunity to sneak away. You miss Kate and Edwina leaving rather quickly from the ball, unaware what had occurred between Kate and Anthony in the garden.
Benedict finds you again rather quickly. He comes up beside you and looks around. "Has my mama ended her pursuit?"
"I don't know why you're worried. She has her hands full with Eloise and Anthony. I don't envy her position with those two."
Benedict chuckles. "Is my mama not helping you, also?"
"She has offered her assistance, yes. Yet, I do not expect to come first. Her own children are her priority, and for that, I understand. I think I shall push the subject to the back of my mind for now."
Benedict regards you quietly and then nods.
The rest of the evening passes in quiet company with the second eldest brother. He sees no reason to leave your side when he's finding himself enjoying his time so much.
He even escorts you outside at the end. Everyone is too occupied with themselves to pay any attention to you two.
Benedict sees that you get in your carriage safely and bids you farewell. You wave as the carriage leaves. He watches you go before joining his family again.
Another season, another opportunity for chaos to arise.
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