#maybe i did I'll never tell

[emmashouldbewriting]

What's your Hogwarts house?

I'm afraid I'm a terribly boring Gryffindor because Hermione was my hero and taught me that girls can be smart AND brave, which was great because while I'm smart, I was a terrible wuss as a kid LOL

what's your Hogwarts house?! EVERYONE TELL ME THEIR HOUSESSSSS

#yes i AM getting hogwarts legacy for mothers day next weekend #and yes i AM extremely excited to be a witch #like i haven't been to harry potter universal by myself and it was like the best day ever #especially when i accidentally made the server in the leaky cauldron abandon his british accent lol #did i cry at harry potter world #maybe i did i'll never tell #do i have all seven horcruxes in my office #maybe i do

[mobius-m-mobius]

It's a pretty cool name.

Loki + the progression of saying Mobius' name for @percheduphere

#mobius #loki #lokius #mcuedit #lokiedit #marveledit #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #tysm for the amazing request because GOD did making this hit harder than i'd even expected?? #like it's kind of a given mobius fell first #but i've been so swamped all month i basically only had time to finish maybe a gif per night #and let me tell you watching loki progressively fall harder with each and every scene was uh. an experience all right 🙃😳 #in S1 loki's so obviously trying to keep their guard up until mobius gets pruned protecting them and it's like a switch flips #the walls come down and you see the power of being believed in the pure RELIEF mobius' presence brings #how much he's valued and needed and LOVED as loki tries to hold him close only to lose him again and again #leading to desperation building until the only option left is to sacrifice everything not realizing now they're both left wanting #y'all i'll never recover 😭 #marvel #owenwilsonedit #dianagifs

[queenerdloser]

i just finished dark heir

#me foaming at the mouth during the last chapters: HE IS! FUCKING! SAVING YOU! #i am huddled around will kempen hissing like a mama cat none of these fuckers are allowed to look at him #dark rise #okay but like. cyrian at literally every moment in the book you see will anticipating things and making connections #that you never make. doing things like a leader & being fucking smart and strategic. and your dumb ass really thought. #hm. must mean i shouldnt listen to him about the magic staff that can literally stop the end of the world. must be evil. #me: [screams into the abyss] #i know i cant expect characters to react like readers and they DID all react like i knew they would but god it was so infuriating!!!!! #and heart breaking! god!!!! god!!!!! will reliving his mother's initial betrayal over and over and OVER again #and thinking about all the little moments we get where the novel tells us: if these 'evil' characters had just been accepted #instead of tossed aside maybe they wouldnt have fallen. if they had been protected instead of killed maybe they would have #become protectors instead of killers. maybe if will's mom hadn't tried to butcher him for the sin of his own birth #he wouldn't have been so scared to tell people he lied to them. #anyway im not normal about will kempen and if book 3 doesnt give me his friends fucking accepting him i'll kill someone #me looking directly at visander: i dont care how charming you are i'll murder your ass about it #i read this book in like 5 hrs im being very normal about it

[imababblekat]

Oooo, someone's in loooove (～￣▽￣)～

#this has been sitting in the back of my folders for a while now #did i go about making this the hardest way possible? #maybe #maybe not #i'll never tell #bayverse leo #bayverse leonardo #bayverse donnie #bayverse donatello #bayverse mikey #bayverse michelangelo #bayverse raph #bayverse raphael #bayverse tmnt #bayverse tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #tmnt fanart #aged up tmnt #imababblekat's art

[life-of-a-rat]

I'm back :)

i couldn't stop thinking about this post

+ non-glowing lines (i couldn't pick between the two)

Misdreavus bc it also eats fear

luxray bc it also has funky eye powers (look i just like luxray and wanted to draw one ok) (also cat :3)

and meowstic becuase... i mean, just look at it. (also i think it's a cat? maybe?) (I picked male meowstic bc it's eye patterns are green)(the females are red)

please consider reblogging, i spent 4 hours just on the lineart

#wow did i actually color something #can you tell i like lighting? #the magnus archives #the magnus archive fanart #magnuspod #shitpost #jonathan sims #tma #tma podcast #tma au #pokemon #crossover #luxray #misdreavus #meowstic #i'll probably do martin next. maybe elias bc i never draw him #my art

[pushing500]

We left Loyalty's Meander at the same time our last guests did. Apparently, the horrible murder-cult vibes weren't enough to deter them, so now we have allies! That's nice, I guess.

Blackthorn learned to walk while we were road-tripping and I couldn't get this scene from Ice Age out of my head while I was trying to draw it so you just get the scene instead.

Thanks to the vehicle mod, it only took us eight days to get here, so here we are! I can't wait to see the ship!

hmmmmmmmm

there is... no ship

That is problematic. We'll try to mine into those mountains and see if there's a ship hidden in there somewhere, but I fear this may call for some Dev Mode intervention from Ecthuctu themselves...

Duchess now is not a good time

Curly, that is RUDE. Ecthuctu will not be impressed by this slight, mark my words... Terrible things are coming for you.

First | Next | Previous

#rimworld #gracie plays #The Children of Ecthuctu #art #my art #traditional art #rimworld art #unpolished art #Nice to have allies for as long as we'll remain on the planet I guess #thanks Hesak #the trip went well #we did run out of food one day before we arrived #so everybody is on the edge of a mental break but I'm sure they'll be fiiiiine #I tell you who's not fine #ME #Where's my damn ship #I travelled all this way #I intend to get this cult off the planet if it KILLS THEM #or if I have to use Dev Mode idk #I'll do a poll if I can't find a ship in the mountains #duchess is too fertile for this colony #or maybe it's blackdragon #i dunno one of them is too fertile #and Curly... #Curly is on thin ice #Henry would NEVER #have a lovely day y'all <3 #tw ice age baby

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?

I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.

Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.

Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.

Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.

Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.

Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.

If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.

So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.

#asks #twdg louis #twdg minerva #twdg clementine #twdg violet #twdg marlon #twdg tenn #honestly whenever i see someone say louis is the boring option i'm just like '.......that's your opinion but also how can you say that??' #then again i'm sure other people look at me saying violentine just isn't for me and they say the same thing so y'know... i can't talk haha #also time is such a weird thing because i look at the entire cell scene in louis' route and like... i'm not even mad about violet anymore #like yeah i still don't believe she was brainwashed like i'm sorry y'all only believe that because kent said something about it #not because there's all this evidence toward it in game like vi being pissed at clementine makes sense she doesn't need to be brainwashed #for it to work like her being vulnerable and easily manipulated into submission makes perfect sense especially with minerva there #it's like everyone was pissed that she attacked clementine and people needed a way to excuse it so it's not violet's fault when like... #that's literally what makes it interesting like calm down it's okay if violet is pissed and scared and behaves accordingly #also my controversial opinion of the day that i'll hide here in the tags so maybe people won't find it sksksk but #I personally find the concept of vinerva and the doomed tragedy of it more compelling than anything violentine did #like i'll defend violentine and i do believe it's an important and good ship it's just not my personal favorite #anyway but then the whole thing with lilly and minerva is so good and louis screaming FUCK YOU at minerva?? amazing love it so good #i love when the soft character who never chooses violence is so pissed off that all that anger they have boils to the surface and it's raw #like... he's SO mad he's SO furious he's SOOO UPSET like he wasn't even like this when marlon died or anything like he hit his limit #and then shooting dorian through the mouth while an accident is just well done i love it and i love his reaction of mortification #and apologizing and YET he still tries to go with clementine he's trembling and can barely string together a sentence but he wants to go #he wants to help her he wants to save aj THAT is the gut reaction he has after everything that just went down #'louis isn't loyal or good for clem because of the vote' babe tell me you don't understand any nuance of louis' character without telling m #it's fine IT'S FINE you don't have to agree and i just have to remind myself that it's fine not everyone likes louis we're okay #this drives me crazy in the best way like y'know what? i love the cells scene in louis' route all of it even the stuff i used to rant about #even the stuff that used to piss me off now i'm just like 'no wait past cj was dumb she wasn't looking at it this way aaaaaaaa' sksksks #that was my tag ted talk about the cell scene thank you

[iknowwhereyousnoozeatnight]

if ur still doing requests pls rem if not das all g

she’s chrysanthemum-coded to me <3

close-ups ig

#ask #death note #rem #very messy i apologize #was extra messy here because i was playing with a new brush and by that i mean a default brush that i've never touched before #i actually quite like it very fun i typically like brushes that are 100% or close to 100% opaque but this was fun i like how it layered #i think i'm gonna finalize my idea and perhaps render something fully for once because i feel up to it if flowers are involved #but i promise nothing #drew these left to right btw. there were also like 2 more but they were small and i gave up on them so wjatever #i like the last one the best i think i needed a bit to figure out how i wanted the petals to lay and i like that one the best #the silhouette feels good i like the shape the back i did start trying smth asymmetrical but rem is very symmetrical and i find the symmetr #paired with the wings feels very regal and powerful and almost cape-like as a silhouette which i am a fan of #if i did finish something i might add misa in which case i need to think of what flower she most resembles roses are too easy i need smth #else but i will decide that later bc i am writing this very late at night and now i'm gonna queue it up for tomorrow bc i am going somewher #so goodbye goodnight good day idk what time it is for you. so #WAIT I SHOULD DO RYUK TOO WAIT WAIT soon. soon. he will be a bug yes yessss wait wait if he's a bug i want misa to be butterfly themed #like maybe a beetle of some kind? no no no wasp? ant? i'll think abt it #light would prob be some sort of poisonous plant? idk if u have thoughts idk tell me i'm getting into this bc i'm deprived of springtime at #and it is making me silly :3 teehee anyway i will Think about this and get back to it soon enough #gooddbye bye bye sayonara you weeaboo shits idk. bye

[paperhats-and-evil-schemes]

Black Hat lunged at his counterpart, body contorting into a vicious conglomeration of teeth, smoke, tendrils, and distorted bone. An echoing symphony of shrill, unholy roars filled the room as the enraged demon carried out his onslaught, ripping into White Hat’s body with a fury unparalleled to anything Flug’s seen from him before. And considering how much Flug's seen already...

I wanted to make BH way bigger but then WH would look too smol to see well enough haha

@ Nosy anon, I promise I'll come up with a proper actual snippet to respond to this one of these days, but in the meantime, have this random impulse drawing and a very very short paragraph of fic to go along with it lol?

#villainous #body horror #black hat #white hat #flug #I wasn't planning on adding so many details to this but I got carried away when I discovered TRADITIONAL ART BRUSHES SHIIIT DUDE #WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME I COULD USE PENCIL AND WATERCOLOR DIGITALLY!!?? #I MEAN I OBVIOUSLY SHOULD'VE KNOWN CONSIDERING HOW FAR TECHNOLOGY HAS COME BUT DANG #I'VE BEEN MISSING OUT THIS IS SO MUCH EASIER THAN HOWEVER TF I WAS GETTING BY BEFORE #OP #My writing motivation may be a finicky lil trickster but my drawing motivation has been weirdly active #Granted I'm more used to actual pencils and paints but hey #Maybe I'll do more of these lol #Way less cleanup to do 😆 #I still have like three other White Hat drawings I've been meaning to post for a while but never got around to #Welp

[yeonban]

Sometimes I think about posting the one meme which goes "I want to ____ you" and see what your muses fill it in with for my muses but knowing my muses, I can already foresee an army of "kick" "beat" and "kill" <- in that order

#tbd. #* ooc. / posts. #ADHUISADHASUHDSAHD to be fair I too would beat them all up! ^_^ maybe kiss their wounds afterwards idk but FIRST. kick!!! #Anw I've been legit fighting for my life irl for the past few days and am being tortured by my own traitorous body as we speak #but I hope against hope that I'll soon be free to write and reply to dms bc lord knows when I last was able to... #My profs are the personification of irritating bc the SECOND we think we finished all our assignments and can breathe for 2 seconds #we receive 30 new emails saying hi! forgot to tell you this but you have a 12 page long assignment by the (checks watch) end of this week #like??!??!?!!? did ~3 of them for last Thursday now I have another 5 for Tuesday; 1 for Wednesday; 2 more for this Thursday #and then a random RNG one I guess bc my prof told us about it but then never posted the deadline. only an eerie 'by next week' #(aka this upcoming week) so fuck me I suppose AHDIUASHDISAHD #I just want to talk w my beloved friends and write silly things on tumblr dot com is that so much to ask for............. gawd

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

when you’re sick or injured and confined to your bed, Foul Legacy Childe worries and frets so much. he knows that you’re smaller and more delicate than he is at any time, but now you just seems so fragile, laying there drifting in and out of unconsciousness. he does his best to make sure you’re comfortable, bringing you water and medication and food and staying by your side, petting your hair with gentle claws. whenever you’re awake you smile at him, tired but still trying to comfort him, and Childe wants to cry at the way you wince and cough when you just try to breathe.

but he doesn’t, wanting to stay strong for you, like you do for him, and instead clambers onto the bed next to you and snuggles himself over top of you. he’s like a warm, heavy blanket, purring and gently kneading your arms as you reach out to hold his chin in your hands. you murmur “hi” with a small smile and hoarse voice, and Childe rumbles in satisfaction when your hands begin to thread through his fluffy ginger hair. soon your eyes begin to droop from the warmth and comfort, hands slowing and trailing down Childe’s mask-like face. your beloved Abyssal monster coos and scoots himself closer, until he’s close enough to press his cheek against your collarbone, his hair tickling your nose. you scratch behind one of his horns and his purrs lilt as he happily leans into your hands.

you’re tired. your lungs hurt, and your head feels fuzzy, like the whole world is blurry. but at least you have a soft, purring Childe to help you recover, and you wouldn’t trade anything in world for him.

#genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #gi ajax #foul legacy #foul legacy childe #genshin tartagalia #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #genshin x reader #childe x reader #does this stem from the fact that i am currently sick? #maybe. i'll never tell. i'll take the secret with me!!!! #in all seriousness tho i feel a lot better than i did yesterday #coughing but my throat isn't as sore!! #which is..... interesting because i thought coughing makes your throat sore #also my voice is not entirely gone like it was yesterday :D #i've said it before and i'll say it again #foul legacy would be an amazing weighted blanket #i would love a moth weighted blanket #ANYWAYS how is everyone doing today!!! i am hugging every single one of you <333 #wifi's brainrot #short scenario

[rose-n-gunses]

writer's block going crazy u guys

#may never write again i fear! #i open the doc. i look at the doc. i hate the doc. i close the doc. #*stewie crying in bed gif* #i did have an idea for something! #but then a quick look at ao3 tells me that something similar with a nearly identical title (lyrics from the same song) already exists! #so that killed my buzz #i havent read that one so idk how similar they really are except the pov and the title #but still. aaa #i would say i'll just go to sleep and try again tomorrow but i do that every day and it does not seem to help #maybe it will this time who knows 😞😞 #irl #just r's thoughts

[ragnarockz]

fnaf movie was good???

#FNAF #Like I watched it for shits but !! #Jim Henson's Creature Shop did NOT fuck around with this film I'll tell you that #And Matthew Lillard is always a gem #FNAF movie #MIND YOU ALL THAT THIS IS COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS LIKE 2% KNOWLEDGE OF THE LORE #Never played the games but I remember watching maybe 5 eps of when Markiplier first did his play through #THAT'S THE EXTENT OF MY KNOWLEDGE 😂

[eyes1nthewoods]

love when people talk about pre-cazador astarion like he was this perfect angel baby that everyone loved as though he wasnt beaten to near death by a minority group.

#this is sarcasm in case you couldnt tell #like hey lets maybe. not ignore that part to make yourself feel better about liking him. #also love how the game kind of fucking ignores it too 😐 #it gets brought up to explain his hate for the gur and then??? never gets brought up again. even when you meet the gur in act 3. #ughhh i am too white and too stupid to make an educated post about this #maybe i'll try to later. but if someone smarter than me could that'd be awesome #anyway the main point of this post is that what astarion was like and what he did before cazador doesn't matter anymore #(even though it probably should at least a little bit but shhh. but in the context of the story) #because no one deserves to go through what he and his siblings and his victims did

[hella1975]

i hate my town i hate the people in it i hate the shame that consumes us all i hate that every failure might as well be posted in the square because everyone knows everyone i hate that my grandparents are here and i hate that my mother came back for them i hate that the kids are dying and no one cares i hate that every good memory has a bad memory right next door like sam's house around the corner from my childhood home i hate the body they pulled from the river i hate the memory of hearing yellow by coldplay at my cousin's funeral because all i could think was that it was too modern for the situation but then he was only seventeen so it makes sense i hate that i was seventeen too and all the boys i knew were there his friends that were supposed to be the tough guys the scary guys i hate that i pretended not to see them sobbing i hate that everything smells of cigarettes here i hate the politics i hate the people i used to love that dont even smile at me on the street i hate that the girl who called me a slut works at my favourite bar i hate every alley and hidden shortcut and i hate that i know them like the back of my hand i hate the same fucking coffee shops i sat in when i was fourteen and scared and now im nineteen and scared and i hate that it's exactly what this town wants i hate that it wants anger i hate that it wants fear i hate that it wants shame i hate that i can give it everything

#thinking about how the two biggest things in my life rn - writing and my degree - are so punctuated by this fucking town #like my biggest fear with my degree isnt what id think of myself if i dropped out or failed #or even what my family would think bc they're nicer to me than i am #it's genuinely the thought of what my hometown lot would say that keeps me up at night #like the thought of my neighbour who told me id never accomplish anything bc my school was shitter than his fancy one #the thought of having to look him in the eye #or the thought of knowing my friends will tell their mums who are still on the PTA with old teachers who thought i was special #like small towns wrap you in this bubble of smallness and it suffocates you and you're so terrified and ashamed of every little mistake #and then my writing GOD i keep thinking about how tbos is probably the best thing ive ever written #and id publish it id genuinely try and get it published #but im just again so scared and ashamed and embarrassed like how do i explain to these assholes that im writing fantasy #and that's not even counting the gay angle bc that's the biggest part #i just am not brave enough for that yet and yeah maybe it's bc im still young but i shouldnt have to be brave to enjoy things to begin with #failure shouldnt require bravery when it's just a fact of life #and i think about if we'd lived in london like my dad wanted us to or if we'd gone to dublin bc my mum loves dublin #or even if we just hadn't come to this fucking town and we'd lived in ANY FUCKING CITY #my dad jokes about how in london he didn't even know his neighbours names and god i just crave that anonymity so fucking much #it's so frustrating and my mum takes it so personally whenever i say i hate the town and my sister says i'll grow out of it just because #she did but i genuinely dont think i will #and maybe that's the creative in me or the queer in me that she just cant relate to but i have always always hated this place #like a guy i have a VERY complicated history with messaged me the other day and we havent talked in TIME #and it was kinda sweet if not awkward just bc of our aforementioned rocky past but one thing he mentioned when i said i was at uni #was that he said really genuinely 'im so happy to hear that; i know you always wanted to get out of [town name]' #like he still remembers that about me even though weve been friends since we were 12 and i havent spoken to him since i was?? 17?? #UGH i just hate it here and it's the fact that i'll never escape it either bc i cant totally abandon ship without also #abandoning my family and i refuse to do that and they refuse to leave so now im just stuck with all these CONNECTIONS #sorry to vent lol #ig this could be a poetry thing? we'll say it is instead of me just having another meltdown LMAO #hella goes home

[medicinemane]

And maybe you'll be like "but if you don't trust businesses, how can you trust welfare?"

I fucking don't. My mom trying to get on food stamps fucked me up because a lady I never met without my permission got my SSN from my mom and started editing my files. My heart still races to this very second whenever I think about it, it kinda messed me up bad and I'll never ever ever see any kind of recourse

And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose my medicaid just cause I inherited some money from my grandpa

And I've never even applied for disability cause it kinda doesn't matter finding out if I'd qualify or not cause of my depression, when the rules are so restrictive I don't know if I've even be allowed to keep my house

I do not fucking trust these things on a personal level. I feel like out of a lot of people I have the most to fear from them cause I'm on the edge of having things work, and that gets you punished

...but I need medicaid in order to have insurance (and when you strip out the finance side of medicaid, I love medicaid... they're honestly incredible insurance... I just... I just... dental is like 90% of why medicaid is so important to me, ever since I found out this state pays for it I've actually been able to do cleanings which is important to me cause I can't always get myself to brush)

And I think things like disability and food stamps are pretty damn important on a personal level, and honestly are also good for the economy cause they get people spending... it's practically a free cash infusion into the economy, cause these are people who need to buy stuff

There's just so much important stuff welfare does that it's worth dealing with government

No, what I want is more accountability so if someone gets my SSN from a 3rd party like my mom they're held to HIPPA styles standards where that's not ok to access my files without my permission (She changed my fucking address and tried to get medicaid to investigate me for fraud! Never even met me)

Like have some accountability there and in every situation

Secondly I want less punitive focused rules. I'd frankly prefer bezos get on disability than smack down some poor sod cause they got $2000 in the bank or cause their friend lets them live with them for free

If there's gonna be a cut off on these programs, it needs to be a solid step above the poverty line, cause... by definition I assume poverty line denotes kinda the minimum expected income people can reasonably live off of, and if you take away benefits people are gonna lose a chunk of money to covering that stuff themself, so you need a buffer before you kick people off

I don't fucking trust the government for a second, I've actively been fucked by them and on a personal level I avoid everything but medicaid and only that cause everything but the money is pleasant to deal with and I kinda need it (honestly if I was rich I'm not even kidding that I'd rather give medicaid like $400 a month than some insurance company, I sincerely like them as insurance)

But I'd trust them a lot more if they were less punitive, less out to hunt me down and gut me cause someone handed me a fiver or cause I started to get on my feet, and if government employees had concrete rules they had to follow that were actually transparent and enforced

Like 90% of my problems with welfare go away if they're held accountable and there's less "catch the welfare cheats" mentality going around

I don't trust the government in the slightest, but sadly there some jobs it kinda has to do, so I'd just rather force it to be an open book where the public can keep an eye on it and if they step out of line there's consequences (sort of like I don't trust most mega corps but happen to sometimes need stuff from them... did you know literally every cell service provider has been illegally selling shit like your location data to random people like bounty hunters, and the FCC just slapped them with a fine that's 0.02% of their yearly incomes and debated even doing that? I even can offer a source on that)

...I don't trust much of any authority cause they constantly fail me and kinda screw me. Don't trust doctors either, but I still gotta go to them, you know? ...they're just... they're real bad at listening... so many systems need systemic change

(You know who I really don't trust is the cops. I could point to so many examples. My uncle doesn't trust cops either, and he's an ex Fire and SWAT paramedic, he worked with them and we still got into a long conversation where he basically tore into them far better than I can)

(I don't trust authority that's not accountable)

#anyway; if I'm a lousy cheat or whatever least they can do is give me a gun so I can solve that problem #shit makes me wish I was canadian so I could take advantage of their sick implementation of assisted suicide #what should be a system that gives people a choice about the quality of their life; and I don't think should be relegated to terminal illne #...there was... think he was dutch; had been burned by his girlfriend all over his body; was in constant pain #and he ended up using assisted suicide in the end cause he was just in constant agony... think that's his choice to make #but of course the canadian system concretely pushes people; mostly the poor and disabled; to kill themselves #not theoretically; as in literally says word for word to them 'you should really kill yourself; just sign here' #it's sick; it truly is #but for any americans that want to dunk on it; I'm telling you we're no better #we have the exact same miserable desperation and people (again; mostly poor and disabled) into despair #only difference is we don't offer assisted suicide #the underlying issues in the US and canada are so damn similar; so much of what's happening ends up being the same #you can't act smug just cause you only make people want to die instead of also offering to help #that's like saying that you're the good guy cause while you did everything you could to drive someone to the brink #get them fired; slash their tires; just cartoon level villain stuff to personally harass this person... at least you won't hand them rope #we have such similar systemic issues to canada; and I am explicitly telling you that like the people in canada that have said #'I can't take it anymore; disability doesn't cover my expenses and I can't get any help... I'm at my wits end so I'm gonna go die' #I'm telling you that I feel that same way; just without any eugenics agency I can call up #I'm really working to get things stable; but it feels like I'm teetering on the edge of falling into permanent failure #and... and I'll actually tell you the amount even though I don't like to mention money... makes me feel guilty #my gramps left me $27k; which sounds like a lot; but I got 20 windows that need redoing (house has a lot of windows) #...if they ended up being 1k each; that's most of the money gone; if they end up being more... #and I got a whole lotta other stuff I've been putting off like plumbing around here; need to replace that faucet #it's an amount of money that helps; but it's an amount of money that isn't gonna last #...that's like a year of bills; and my mom already needs me to pay like $400 to the propane bill since she got behind #I want to use it to... to try and really get my feet on the ground; but it might loose me my insurance... it makes me want to die #and not to be a selfish bastard; but if I could I'd like to try and take and invest a bit to maybe build some passive income #given that... that a job never seems to work out for me cause I fucking suck and cause like... my insomnia has me up at 5:30 am right now #mm tag so i can find things later