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#maybe none of this makes sense. and maybe thats okay.
jovenshires · 3 months
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I know you’re on a break but after that last incorrect quotes I would love it if you could give your thoughts on which glee characters everyone else would get, cuz you were so right with Sam for Spencer
My thoughts are; Blaine for Angela, Quinn for Courtney, Brittany for Olivia, Sebastian for Tommy, Santana for Chanse, and Marley for Kimmy
DLNAFLKNFKLNFKLNRKL this is so funny bc i debated on who to make him for forever and i was worried that sam was my fave so i was just being biased but im glad it went over well xxx i did check in with my bestie before drafting it and she confirmed sam made most sense.
hmmmm excellent q!! i am putting all these thoughts under the cut just so im not raw glee posting on the dash LNSDKNFKLN
this was. SO MUCH harder than i thought it was gonna be okay LKNDNAKFNKL this may be nonsensical and for some of them i simply don't give a concrete answer bc ykw. idk!
olivia is SOOOOO brittany-coded oh my GOD. marley for kimmy just smacked me in the face with how real that is. and quinn-courtney......... yEAH you're so correct. i gotta text my bestie shes gonna freak. her favorite Blonde Girlies. i do love all of these though!! i might personally make some tweaks but i TOTALLY see where you're coming from on all of them
i do like chanse as santana.... but i might switch arasha to santana instead?? just makes sense for the queen of lies imo. the medical examiner feels so santana-coded especially. might shift chanse to kurt bc he can also be a bitch but he's so much more ambitious than that. although it's a Tough call bc i feel like chanse fits both BUT who else would arasha be...
on blaine (and im talking seasons 2-3 blaine bc thats my baby and they cant take him away from me) i do like angela but i am caught between her and damien. it's the Most theater-kid energy of all the glee characters and they are the Most theater-kid energy of all the smosh members. yeah im not 100p sure what Else to do with either of them so that's just a sub note. unsure on that one !
anyway additional thoughts: jackie might be tina-coded?? hopeless romantic, extremely emotional, low-key diva when she wants to be, incredibly talented and they didn't deserve her. again im talking 1-3 tina. they hated her after that for some fucking reason. and on that note shayne is mike im taking no questions at this time. level-headed, smart, not a singer, just here to be a lil guy. yeah.
i think im gonna go with amanda as rachel. lovingly. SO lovingly. all the silliest rachel moments. i could see a couple different people as her (i think angela is also good here but she's too okay with being wrong/the butt of the joke, and then i think my second choice is tommy) but yeah i think amanda is my top pick. and then i might be so controversial as to say ian is finn-coded. just some guy. team leader. everyone's dad. just seems like he would have things to say about grilled cheesus. and anthony is jesse st. james. goodbye. that's all. these three are THE love triangle moment.
kiana is mercedes. why? because i said so. above it all, incredibly talented but underrated. (also im not thinking too hard ab the relationship implications but that does make the samcedes dynamic SO fucking funny.) and keith is artie. it's the 'wheres my hug at' guy of it all. its okay i like artie im allowed to bully him and i Love keith so
i do like sebastian for tommy and ya know what. im tempted to agree and leave it there bc i feel like thats as kind to him as i can possibly be KLNFFKLN but i struggled with placing him anywhere else... he could be rachel i think (and then amanda would move the whole paradigm. i would make her sue for funsies.) but i think that's All i can see him as. and then trevor is. rory. bc i have a hyperfixation on rory and trevor Is the rory in my head. so there.
aaaaand garrett IS mr. schuester. that's all goodbye
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mrfoox · 1 year
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You ever think or say something spontaneously without any real previous thoughts and then realize that it's kinda true/legit?
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gentlyweeps-world · 2 months
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summer fling
summary: a summer fling turns into more after lance tells the truth.
pairing: lance stroll x reader
warnings: none
genre: fluff!!
notes: I’ve been on a lance kick recently!! sorry for the infrequent uploads, I’ve been very busy recently. send in any requests 🫶
words: 1.1k
LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO
You had met Lance at a fancy restaurant during yours- and coincidentally his summer break. You didn't know who he was, all you knew was that he was hot and sweet, a perfect combination for a summer fling!
“So where are you from?” Lance had asked, some fancy drink in his hand as he stood by you at your table, “Why do you want to know? For all I know you could be a secret killer..” You had replied with a grin, wanting to keep him on his toes.
“Aww..c’mon, I just want to get to know you..” He responded with a smile, not sensing any harm in your words, or rather any resentment.
“Fine..you can sit down and get to know me…”
That had been maybe a week ago, know you and Lance text, call and hang out frequently, you didn't mind it. You quite liked him actually, but it was supposed to be a summer fling, not a full fledged romance, but hey…maybe it wouldn't hurt.
You still didn't know much about him, he said he didn't have social media so you didn't bother trying to dig up anything, not really caring that much about it, but you did know he had money.
“Okay, no! Thats so ugly!” You say with a giggle as you lay on Lances chest, him scrolling through some cars he liked, Lance let out a fake offended gasp, “That is not ugly!”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night….” You respond with a smile. "Don't make fun of my car choices." He replied, his tone clearly playful- he didn't actually care.
You laid there, resting your head on his chest as your fingers intertwined with his, your thumb stroking his hand. You looked up at him, watching his mouth form words as he scrolled through his camera roll.
You looked away, not wanting him to notice you looking. Your thoughts were scattered, you had no idea what you wanted from him. You had grown close, closer than you had ever thought. But for what?
I mean you didn’t even know what he did for a living, he never brought up that kind of stuff. Should you ask? No..no don’t ruin the mood.
So you didn’t ask, you just went on with how things were not asking any questions, not wanting to ruin anything.
But he had stopped texting or calling frequently, even hanging out, it was weird. Maybe he was hiding something from you?
But one night you had gotten a text, two tickets to a Canadian Grand Prix? Formula One? You had heard of it, but didn’t really care.
Then your phone popped up with a face time request from Lance.
“Hey uhm- what’s up with the tickets?” You ask, confusion evident in your face and words.
"Oh those?" Lance looked away from the camera for a second, he was trying to hide the genuine excitement from his face. It was quite hard.
"I thought it would be nice to take a trip over to the race, you don't have to go with but if you want to-" He stopped himself, he was being too desperate.
"It's not a big deal.." It was clear he wanted you to say yes, very desperately.
“No..no it’s okay! It sounds fun, I’ll make sure I can go..but why Formula One?” You ask, feeling like he was hiding something.
He was shocked for a second, how had you not made the connection? He had been so subtle about his passion for cars, he figured it to be clear.
“I uhm- I work in Formula One..kind of..” He says, clearly avoiding the topic. “Oh okay that’s cool..well I’m sure it’ll be fun..” You say with a smile, not wanting to press into the topic.
Lance sighs in relief, you didn’t press him on this topic. It was something he wanted to keep to himself for the time being, just until he felt comfortable with you.
But you weren’t just some summer fling anymore, he had developed genuine feelings towards you.
“Wow..okay this is fancy..” You say, stepping onto a jet that’ll take you to the Grand Prix.
"Yeah, it is.." He was more used to seeing this sort of environment, but for you it was probably quite impressive.
“Lance- why are there so many people..” You whisper out, clutching his hand as you two are ushered out of the airport, people shouting for his autograph on hats- or asking for a picture.
“I’ll tell you once we get to the hotel..” He says with a sigh and small smile, squeezing your hand.
You first thought that maybe he was a very rich well-known bachelor- although that wouldn’t have made sense.
You were nervous, anxious. What was he going to tell you?
“I’m a formula one driver for Aston Martin..and my father owns the team..” Lance says, looking up at you from his spot on the bed, nervously fidgeting with his fingers.
Well that was certainly not what you were expecting.
Your eyes widen at that statement, you didn't really want to believe it, but the pieces all fit together. The jet ride, the crowd of people, the way everyone was taking pictures of him.
"You- your dad owns the team?" You ask cautiously. What did this mean for you? Were you considered a "trophy" to him? Your mind was racing- you didn't know how to feel.
"Y-yeah.." He responds nervously, you could tell he was worried about your reaction. He had always expected that reaction with anyone he told the truth.
You weren't expected to understand or want to be around that. He didn't blame you. You were different.
"I understand if you want to leave or-" His voice trails off, he's waiting for you to speak up.
“No! No..it’s okay, just a lot to take in, yknow? You could’ve told me..” You say with a chuckle, walking over to him, standing between his legs.
His eyes widened at the suddenness of this encounter. You were standing between his legs, he had expected you to run off, not this.
"I wanted to, but I felt it wasn't right- especially not until I knew how you felt." He said softly, not really letting his eyes wander.
There was a soft smile on his face.
“Right..just don’t do that again..” You say with a giggle, reaching for one of his hands to lace your fingers together.
“And just know it’s not “daddy’s money’” Lance says, looking up at you.
You nod your head, giving him a small smile.
Now you know why he didn’t want to tell you.
“So..I guess we’re official, huh?” Lance says with a chuckle, you smile softly at him. “I guess so..”
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
radio 🪩: don’t be afraid to send in requests or ask to be added to the taglist!! I hope it was good :))
permanent taglist: @cixrosie @amajixi @i-wish-this-was-me @nelly187 @hannahwsworld @sltwins @itsprashimusic
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Tom Riddle x reader - The bet.
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Modernish? Au? one of those -son of Voldemort Tom's that has Mattheo as a brother n stuffs like that-none of thats important to the fic i just wanted to put that up so them having phones makes sense, also they have charmed phones so they work within hogwarts. :p
starts off with texts messages --(two dashes) with italics for (y/n) and -(one dash) and bold for Tom.
=
It was a stupid bet, one that Tom was already regretting even thought it hadn't started yet. it all started with his girlfriend (y/n) being cheeky while she was supposed to be in class and asking for a bloody abs picture from him while he was trying to study.
--hey tommy~?
Tom didn't know why he didn't put on the 'do not disturb' feature on when he was studying, because (y/n) always bugged him when he studied. he picked up his phone that had vibrated when he got a text and saw what his girlfriend texted him, he quickly sent a reply back and then set his phone back down.
-What is it this time (y/n)? -Did you get detention, again? -I'm not getting you out of it this time.
(y/n) replied quickly, which told Tom she wasnt paying attention at all while she was supposed to be in charms class.
--nooo that was one time tommy --okay maybe two times --okay three....five times --whatevs thats not what im texting u for --do you think you could to me a favors? ill return it?
Now Tom was, slightly(emphasis on slightly) intrigued, sighing as he picked his phone back up after reading the texts as they came in and messing (y/n) back.
-What is it (y/n)?
(y/n) replied almost instantly, which made Tom annoyed because merlin's beard she was in class!!
--ab pic? plssss???
-...Are you actually serious?? Did you just text me to ask me for an ab picture?
--yes. pls? ill send something back? pls? pls pls pls? all the other girls get ab pics from their boys? and you've got a baaaady bb~
-No.
--plsss?
-(y/n) I'm busy.
--does that mean 'im busy so ill send one later' orrrrr
-(y/n).
--Tommy.
Tom sighed, setting his phone down, willing himself back to studying, but curiosity had him picking his phone back up and typing a response.
-Why do you even want an ab pic?
--cuz
-That's not an answer (y/n).
--plllllllls tommy? ill send you something back i stg
Tom's interest was once again piqued, his brow raising. she would...send something back?
-And I'm supposed to take your word for that?
-bet
Tom scrambled to catch his phone when another message was sent from his girlfriend, except it wasn't a text, it was a photo. Of her in nothing but his jumper, sitting in front of mirror, the jumper pulled up above her chest to show off her body that got him feeling feral, her face just barely obscured in the photo-but he could see her tantalizing smirk that always had him going nuts.
He quickly got a handle on his phone and texted (y/n) back with a clench in his jaw.
-CHRIST (y/n)!!! -You're in class!!!
--and you, aren't~! --enjoy bb~ now about that ab pic?
He was blushing for sure, his face hot and red and he felt his trousers get tight. He shuffled in his seat, running his hand through his hair. He thought about it for a hot moment before he groaned and stood up, going into his bathroom and turning the light on.
He texted (y/n) one last time before pulling his button-up off and snapping a picture of his upper body. He wasn't really built like Draco or his brother Mattheo was, he wasn't a quidditch player, but he did have defined muscles and (y/n) liked them, so that was fine.
-ffs fine. -photo sent.
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-Happy?
--👀👀🥵😍💞🥰👌👌👌👌👌👌
Tom let out a soft snort, leaning against the wall of his bathroom, holding his shirt in his hand as he looked down at (y/n)'s message. Yep, she was happy. he looked back at the photo she had sent him and swallowed, the flush in his face returning as a spark went down his spine, looking at the way her chest was pushed out, her breasts soft and round and such a perfect size for him. her thighs looked bloody gorgeous as well, he wanted to sink his teeth into them again, seeing in the picture some of his previous marks on her skin.
"Fuck," Tom muttered, his head hitting the wall as he closed his eyes and tipped his head back, his hand falling to smack against his thigh. This girl was going to be the death of him.
he got another message and if he wasn't already flustered, he sure was now because he pulled his phone up so quick. yeah-(y/n) was going to be the death of him.
--thnk u bb~ i can just imagine ur face rn, all red n flustered~ --🥰😂
Tom huffed, rolling his eyes, throwing his shirt onto the sink counter and messaging his girlfriend back(honestly how he had even gotten one was a mystery to not just him, but to all his little 'friend' group.)
-You're a menace. -Your imagination does too many favors for you.
i mean, she was right-his face was all flushed and he definitely was flustered, plus he had a bloody hard on thanks to that hoodie picture; but did she need to know that? Nope.
--oh LOADS --like imagining what you would sound like whimpering for me --thats always a good daydream for me 😈🥵🤪
Tom flushed again, puffing his cheeks too. Whimper? Him? Never.
-I Don't whimper. Not for anyone. -Not even you.
Tom huffed through his nose, his cheeks flushing still as his own imagination began to wander off. but he was brought back to reality when he got another message from (y/n).
--wanna bet? 😈
Oh Fuck.
"Fuck," Tom muttered under his breath, ignoring the way his fingers twitched for a moment as he thought of a response. She was riling up intentionally, he knew that, she wanted to see what he would do-how he would respond to her challenge.
-Menace.
--scared Riddle?
-Don't do the fucking 'scared potter' thing on me.
--its working isnt it? i know how you tick bb~ ur just scared i'll make u whimper and i'll make you lose control~
-Shut the fuck up.
--oh swearing now are we? you are flustered
He was, his face was red now and his leg was bouncing, somehow even harder imagining (y/n) doing her absolute best to make him whimper.
--so --wanna bet?
Tom took a long deep breath, running his hand through his hand and then down his face. would he regret this? probably.
Fuck it.
-fine. you're on. what do you wanna bet?
he could feel the feral grin through the phone screen.
--i get five minutes to try and make you whimper, i can do whatever i need to do, if you dont whimper-moaning and other shit you usually do is fine im not cruel bb-in those five minutes you cannnnnn, idk, do whatever you want to me?
Now that was enticing.
-What do you get if you do make me whimper? Which wont happen of course.
--you gotta be REALLY vocal next time we do it. i wanna hear allll the sounds you can make, whimpers, moans, grunts, ANYTHING.
Tom flushed, really? All she wanted was for him to be a bit more...vocal during sex? weirdo.
-Weirdo.
--im UR weirdo.
Damn straight. Tom thought about it for a long moment and then groaned. Ffffine. fucking fine.
-Fine. Bet.
--BET!
Tom let out a long sigh, checking the time. it was still another half hour before (y/n) was done with classes for the day, but he suspected she was going to be heading straight to him as soon as she was done-when she was all excited like this-she wouldn't let go of her 'mission' until she got it done.
And this time-her mission was making him whimper. Well, he would make sure she wouldn't hear a single peep out of him this time.
He put his shirt back on and tucked it back into his pants, sighing when he saw he still had a hard on and simply ignored it, going back to his desk and going back to studying-he needed to get this done before (y/n) relentlessly distracted him later.
His timer went off exactly 30 minutes later and he sighed, pushing away from his desk, setting down his quill. Right on the dot-he got a text from (y/n) and he glanced at it with flushed ears.
--omw.
Yep. He knew it. He began mentally preparing himself for whatever sensual onslaught (y/n) had planned for him, crossing his leg over the other as stared at his almost finished essay, before he could think too much on it-the door to his room opened and in stepped in his girlfriend, looking positively giddy.
Oh boy, he was in trouble.
He stared at her as she locked the door behind her and walked right over to him, huffing a bit when she swung her leg over his lap and sat right down, her arms resting over his shoulder as she leaned in close, grinning like a cat that caught her prey.
"Ready to whimper for me baby?" (y/n) cooed and Tom rolled his eyes, uncrossing his arms and resting his hand's on her thighs.
"You wont hear a thing," Tom muttered, keeping his voice monotone and his eyes cold, but (y/n) could see the warmth they had for her, and only her. (y/n) grinned and got right to work, cradling his jaw in both hands and pressing her lips to hiss in a passionate and hungry kiss, quickly heating things up as her tongue licked his bottom lip and then pushed into his mouth.
Tom's breath caught in his chest for a split second, his eyes snapping closed as his grip on her thighs tightened, holding back a groan that wanted to escape as (y/n) practically devoured his lips. 'fuck' he thought, this was going to be harder than he thought.
(y/n) kept kissing him in a way that made him breathless and her hips began to grind down against him-making him gasp a bit as he felt her brush against his bulge that had quickly grown the moment (y/n) had stepped into the room. "(y/n)," Tom hissed quietly, his lips, swollen and shiny with spit, parted as (y/n) pulled away and went down to his jaw, nipping and kissing his skin.
She kept moving her hips down into his and he felt his resolve slowly start to crumble as her lips explored his neck, the sensation of her nibbling, biting down, and sucking all over his neck drove him nearly mad. He couldn't help but groan as he tilted his head back, exposing his neck for her.
(y/n) grinned against his neck, licking up the side and trying to find his sweet spot, anything to make him break. "Gonna whimper for me yet?" she asked sweetly, whispering into his ear and kissing the spot behind it.
"Not a chance." Tom said, every word a struggle to get out, his eyes still closed as (y/n) chuckled and went back to his neck, grazing her teeth and tongue against every spot she could-searching for that one spot that would make him break.
"Guess I'll hav'ta try harder then," she whispered, latching onto the slope of his neck where it met his shoulder as one of her hands went between them and Tom let out a choked groan, his face rising with heat as he heard and felt her undoing his belt and pulling his shirt out of his trousers.
"Don't you dare," Tom warned, but if only so he didn't lose this bet. He knew if (y/n) started touching him, his resistance would quickly fall. She was too good at this. (y/n) smirked against his neck and shimmied his trousers and boxers down-Tom's breath caught and his back arched a bit as (y/n)'s soft fingers wrapped around his aching cock, pre-cum leaking from the tip.
His hips jolted up and then back as her hand began to move, up and down the shaft of his cock, the feeling of her hand driving him mad as the sound of it made it harder to focus on not making those sounds (y/n) so desperately wanted to hear.
"(y/n)," he hissed out, his jaw dropping open as he panted, his breath shuddering with each stroke of his cock and graze of her teeth on his neck. He jolted again when she found the sweet spot on his neck and heat grew in his core as her teeth and tongue lavished that spot with attention while her hand stroked him with increasing intensity, making it harder and harder for him to keep his resolve.
(y/n) shuffled just a bit closer on his lap, his cock pressed against her clothed belly and adding more friction as she moved her hips with her hand, his pre-cum smearing against her skin and clothes.
Fuck.
Tom felt his control falter further as he felt (y/n)'s mouth and her hand work together over his neck and cock. His resolve was broken and he was lost in sensation. A single sound came forth before he could stop it, a hoarse whimper leaving his lips.
(y/n) grinned against his skin, kissing his sweet spot before she pulled back just a bit-her hand continuing to go as she rut her stomach against his cock-feeling him dripping helplessly against her hand and clothes, soaking her shirt in his fluids.
"aww baby, you whimpered," (y/n) cooed-and just then-the five minute timer (y/n) had sneakily set up went off-he had just missed the mark-if he had just lasted another few seconds, he would've won. but he had lost-(y/n) made him whimper.
"Sh-shut-" he let out another hoarse whimper, his breath catching as (y/n) pressed his cock against her belly. "Wh-whatever just-fuck-don't-mmfh- don't tell-tell, shit, tell anyone." Tom commanded, his vision blurry when he looked at (y/n), who was grinning like a bloody basilisk.
"Oh don't worry darling, this is for me and me alone." (y/n)purred, kissing him deeply again, her chest pressed against his as her hand practically fucked his cock, giving him just the right grip as more embarrassing sounds pushed forth from his throat, whimpering into (y/n)'s mouth as she kissed him.
He felt the heat in his core start to spread, his breath and heart going rapid as his head started to fog over with unrelenting pleasure. "shit-(y/n)-FUCK-don't stop-don't stop-don't stop-" Tom babbled as his eyes snapped shut, his head going back as well as (y/n) made out with his jaw and neck, leaving more and more marks on his pale skin as her hand kept going, and going, and going, faster and faster, squeezing a bit whenever she got to the tip-pushing more pre-cum from him until-
Tom's muscles tensed, He gripped the plush of (y/n)'s thighs, his teeth clenching as he felt a tingling throughout his body. His eyes remained shut, although he could still see the world around him somehow.
Then, an intense feeling of warmth started at his core and spread out throughout his entire body. His muscles trembled and shook as he felt pleasure like he hadn't felt before.
A deep moan escaped his lips.
Cum soaked (y/n)'s hand and shirt, some arching over and landing on Tom's belly and thighs while (y/n) began to slowly calm down, her eyes locked onto Tom's bright red face as he let out those little sounds she had been so patiently waiting to hear from him.
"Ahhn, hahh-fuckin hell-" Tom groaned, shuddering as his orgasm washed over him. He whimpered a bit when (y/n)'s hand slightly pushed him into 'too much' territory and he shakily grabbed her wrist that was slick with his cum. "Fuck." he sighed, his body slumping in his desk chair as (y/n) sat triumphantly on his lap, giggling away while he caught his breath.
When his vision finally cleared and he caught his breath, he saw his all too proud of herself girlfriend grinning at him, cum soaking her shirt and her hand covered in it as well, his softened cock just inches away from her hand.
"I hate you," Tom grumbled, his eyes fluttering closed when (y/n) laughed and pecked his lips.
"No you don't~ also i knew you'd sound adorable whimpering, wanna do it for me again?"
...
"Yeah,"
-end-
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mangoshorthand · 8 months
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oh, and it was a guy who decided to tell me that as soon as all my clothes were off
Original request:
I have a really personal request of thats ok w u. my first time having sex i was called ugly and obese, and it still sticks with me nowadays so i shy away from being fully exposed/on top/having the lights on bc im scared they were right and its gonna happen again - so how would 5 deal w this in a partner? if this is too weird 4 u then just ignore
Thanks to @kaybreezy3000 for reading through this before I posted and making me sound less like a wildly-masturbating 19th century nobleman. Note for you at the end, anon.
Venus and Cupid | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader 4k words, Rated E
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Five was an observant man: he had to be. If he hadn’t learned to pick up on the details then it's doubtful he could have even made it to adulthood.  
So he noticed that you had quite specific tendencies very early on, back when you were first seeing one another. The first time you had sex, he thought you leaving your clothes on was pretty hot - it seemed as if you were so desperate to have him inside you that you couldn’t delay it even the short time it would take to get undressed - but it quickly became apparent to him that this was something more.
You always seemed to leave as many clothes on as humanly possible, or else turn off the lights before undressing shyly, almost reluctantly, always keeping something clutched around you. 
His first reaction was to feel frustrated, (okay, frustrated and insecure, if you insisted on wheedling that out of him). Were you even into it? 
He loved the sex you had, and you certainly seemed to get something out of it, but all the while you were covering yourself from his lustful gaze like he was a lecherous drunk eyeing you from down an alley. 
He just didn’t understand it. Things were great outside the bedroom: you laughed together, you had intelligent, lively conversations…you even romanced him in a way nothing had taught him to expect. You anticipated his wants, you surprised him with dates and the occasional gift. You made him feel special and wanted in every way except this one way.
And he needed it that way too.
Maybe there was something about sex that brought home to you that he was old enough to be your father. Maybe you saw his hungry gaze as the leer of a dirty, predatory old man...and that thought hurt because it held too much truth.
He finally asked you about it after a session of sex in which you looked distinctly uncomfortable riding him, avoiding his gaze and keeping the bed sheets wrapped around you. 
He brought it up in a way typical to him: blunt antagonism as defense, masking his real insecurities. “Question: why are you with me?”
“Because I like you,” you replied, confused by his tone.
“Sure,” he said, the smallest trace of sarcasm in his voice, “but there’s a problem here, isn’t there?”
You turned to him on the pillow, and you were greeted by his expectant, irritated smile. He raised a brow, clearly prompting you to state this so-called ‘problem’. When you seemed none the wiser, he continued. 
“The problem seems to be that you hate having sex with me.” 
You looked at him, nonplussed.
“No I don’t. Why would you say that?”
He shook his head with the trace of a bitter laugh. 
“So you just hate me looking at you, is that it? You know, nobody’s forcing you to sleep with me. We could just end it if you can’t stand me ogling you.”
You turned away from him, folding your arms across your chest protectively, hugging yourself. You tried not to cry, but tears were already welling in your eyes, threatening to overspill and roll down your face. You could feel him slipping away; sense the rejection coming on the breeze.
At the sound of a sniffle, Five softened slightly 
“Why do you always cover yourself?” he said, finally.
You choked back the tears.
“B-because I’m self-conscious about my body, okay?”
Five sounded incredulous.
“You’re self-conscious about your body?”
You nodded, still not looking at him.
“Don’t bullshit me,” he said, suddenly irritated again, “You expect me to believe someone who looks like you is self conscious about her body? You’re beautiful, what the hell do you got to be self conscious about?”
His words, though spoken in a tone of irritated disbelief, gave you a warm feeling in your chest. In fact, it was his irritation that assured you of his honesty. That feeling of affirmation brought more tears at first, and it took a few moments to recover.
Five waited for you to begin patiently, able to tell by now that you’d been holding something back, and realizing for the first time that perhaps this wasn’t all about him.
You told him everything.
Your first sexual experience was with somebody who called you ‘ugly’ and ‘obese’ as soon as your clothes were removed. The first man to touch you in that way had used that privilege, not to lift you up and make you feel beautiful, but to tear you down, destroying your confidence in the process. Now, being in full view when having sex was almost unbearable to you, so you avoided Five seeing you completely naked and you avoided being on top as far as you could, lest it break the illusion and he see you for what you really were. 
You stopped occasionally to cry, unable to meet Five’s eyes. It was partially the memories, and partly the fact that you were bearing your soul to him in this way: totally vulnerable. You were giving power to him now; knowledge of how to hurt you worse than almost anything if he chose. 
As he listened, Five’s heavy brows lowered further and further, his lips becoming thinner and thinner, occasionally shaking his head as you unfolded the tale.
“Shit.” he said, after you finished your story, and then fell into silence. After almost a full minute, he spoke in a low, serious tone.
“What was his name?”
“It doesn’t matter,” you said, wiping your eyes.
“What was his name?”
You told him.
“Well he’s a fucking idiot, you know that right? A nasty little…you know where he lives?”
“No.”
“No problem, I can find him.”
“Five-”
“First I’ll pull out his fucking fingernails.”
“Five, no.”
“I’ll kill that cunt slow. Ignorant-”
“Five!” 
Your raised voice finally made him turn his head.
“What good would killing him do?”
He blinked. 
“It would make me feel better,” he said, though the murderous fantasies seemed to be fading from behind his eyes. 
Then, he shook his head, casting the thoughts away like a dog shaking off water. 
“....I  admit that making me feel better is low on our priority list right now.”
He held out his arms to you. When you didn’t immediately enter his embrace, he spoke in a voice so soft, and so caring that you couldn’t deny him. 
“Please, my love.” 
My love?
That was new. 
You leaned up against him, and he wrapped his arms tightly around you, one around your shoulders, the other around your waist. 
“You don’t have to feel self-conscious or…ashamed around me. You know I would never - you know that I…I worship you, for Chist’s sake. I’m desperate to see all of you. That guy was an ignorant, tasteless bastard. You don’t - surely you know that?”
You nodded uncertainly, another tear running down the side of your nose. 
“I guess,” you said, mouth against his firm pectoral, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart, “but I always get scared. Like you might…like one day you might see me and...get grossed out. Because…I know, I know I’m not sexy. I know I’m -”
“You think you aren’t sexy?” he said, speaking as if you’d just claimed that you were an organic cucumber, “are you crazy?” 
He pulled away from you, a hand on each shoulder so he could look you dead in the eye.
“Jesus, you think I’d be ‘grossed out’ if I saw you? I’m not blind, y'know; a bedsheet or a light switch can’t really hide your body from me. You’re so sexy, I can barely think straight sometimes - how in the hell can you not see that? I’d choose you for looks over any girl, every damn time. The other day when you were wearing that tight black dress- god, I pitched a tent big enough to sleep eight.”
And the way he looked down at your silhouette had you almost believing him.
You smiled, nevertheless self conscious of the idea of your black dress being more form-hugging than you’d thought. Five continued, sweeping his hair carelessly out of his eyes. 
“And it’s not just your face or your body, it’s the way you carry yourself. The way your hair falls, your smile, the color of your skin. It’s just attractive. It’s hot. End of story.”
The vehemence in his face made you smile a little more. He looked the way he did when he’d just completed a complex mathematical proof: buzzing with the knowledge of pure, objective truth. From his perspective, he had just conclusively proved an undeniable fact. 
“I know I’m biased because I love you, but anyone would say that you’re beautiful. When you met Klaus, he took me aside and told me I was punching way over my weight. I didn’t even argue-”
But you interrupted him.
“You love me?”
He fell silent abruptly, playing back his last words in his mind.
Yup, he’d definitely said it. 
He swallowed. He was an idiot.
“Well yes. Actually, I do.” 
Before you had time to do anything except gape, he rushed to fill the silence:
“I know it’s not been too long, and I don’t expect you to feel the same-”
“But I do.”
He fell silent again, his eyes on yours. 
They were strange eyes. Their shape and color, although beautiful, were normal enough, but there was a little something in their expression that always took you firmly by the throat. One might fall into those eyes and drown, yet his hand, coming to take yours, tethered you to the water’s edge. 
“You sure?”
“Never been more sure of anything,” you breathed.
His lips gave a spasm and, for a moment, you both thought he was going to cry too, but instead, he just smiled. He smiled for you a lot, but the clear, open love in this one was like being bathed in warm sunlight, and you luxuriated in it.
Then, he laughed. He giggled, in fact. It bubbled up his throat and out of his mouth before he could temper it into anything that sounded more sophisticated.
“We love each other,” he said, grinning in a dopey, infectious way.
When you smiled back, he cupped your chin gently, those eyes keeping your face upturned to his just as firmly as his hand did. He leaned into you.
At first, his kiss was tender, and your lips slid past and around one another like an embrace. But when he leaned forward, forcing you back onto your pillows, his tongue entered your mouth, and the kiss took on a more amorous character. He made a low noise as he deepened his tongue’s quest into your mouth, and you reciprocated with a soft bite to his lower lip. 
He growled, and heat spread through you as his kiss became rough and firm, pressing you into the pillows now with the weight of his body. All the tenderness had transferred from his lips to his hands, one stroking reassuringly through your hair, and the other at your waist, giving you feather-light, electric touches through the bedsheets.
Your hands came to his subtly muscled back, and cinched him closer to you. The heat was concentrating now, pooling in your lower stomach and swirling there as his unyielding lips let you know that resistance was futile. Your skin was alight with every gentle, loving touch from his fingers, now starting to work their way beneath the bedsheets.
He broke the kiss just long enough to speak. His voice matched the kiss: deep, rough and feral.
“Let me see you.”
Though it was a command, it had the sound of a request, so you took it as such.
Despite the desire now aching in your guts, your fears were still there: perhaps irrational in this situation, but no less real. Beneath the sheets, Five’s hand squeezed and massaged the flesh just above your hip. The touch spoke of his renewed need, but it spoke also of his restraint: his hand had stopped just shy of the area you’d usually hide.
“Please.”
And the word, in that husky voice, broke you. 
“Okay,” you said, arousal threatening to be overcome by nerves, “just…take it slowly.”
He nodded distractedly. His eyes were roaming your skin as he came to kneel between your legs. Both of his hands were now inching the bedsheets down, from your waist to the swell of your hips.
He made a low noise in his throat, and his soft hair fell onto the newly-exposed torso as he bent to kiss it, hot presses of his lips against sensitive skin. His hands skimmed you, feeling out your flesh.
“So beautiful,” he growled, looking up at you, fingers worming their way beneath the sheets again, “is this okay?”
You nodded as he pulled the sheets down another few inches, exposing your stomach to just below the navel. As the air met the newly-exposed skin, you felt gooseflesh prickle across your arms, your stomach tightening with the feeling of exposure. “Pretty girl.” Five cooed, running his hands across your tummy, his pressure gentle, but proprietary. 
With another slow shift of the sheets, and you were exposed to your pubic bone. He let out a breath and squeezed the skin of your hips, smiling at you broadly. It was the dangerous, toothy smile.
“I’m sorry, my love, but I’m afraid we’re going to have to get you over this. I’m going to have to make you realize how fucking hot you are, because I’m going to need to hold onto you just like this while you bounce on my cock. I need to watch these tits bounce while you ride me.”
He squeezed your flank harshly, making you gasp, and you arched your back into him as he leaned forward to take each nipple into his mouth. There was a low rumble in his throat as he first nibbled, and then soothed each tortured bud with his tongue. Your whines tailed off into moans, as arousal and the intensity of his desire once again overcame your fears. 
You felt his satisfied smile around your nipples, and then his hands left your hips to paw and knead your breasts, weighing and bouncing them in each hand. 
He gave you another kiss on the lips before straightening up, so that he was kneeling over you again, head tilted as he looked down on you, almost speculatively. The position made it obvious that he was hard again, his bulge stretching the fabric of his white boxer-briefs, leaning up against his stomach and beginning to put pressure on the elastic of his waistband. His pretty, curved cock was perfectly outlined by the material: 
“I’m going to make you feel so confident that you’ll push me onto the bed, trap me between your thighs and ride me so hard I get a concussion against the headboard.”
Though the idea made you feel another squirm of discomfort, the humor combined with the lust behind his eyes made you give a small smile.
“Not today,” you said, in a small voice.
The memories were still too close…the hurt from recalling them was only just over the horizon. 
“Not today.” he confirmed, eyes roving down to where the bedsheets still covered your sex, “but can I see your pussy, beautiful?”
“Yes.” you said, barely more than a whisper.
“Mm. Good girl,” he groaned, and pulled the bedsheets down to your knees. 
There you were, fully exposed to him…totally bared. Internally, you were fighting between the urge to cover up, and the urge to please him. You still felt exposed, like a turtle without its shell, vulnerable laid out in front of him. 
He was still taking it all in, eyes lingering on where your thighs were as close together as they could be with his body between your calves.
Part of you was still terrified it was coming. Perhaps he wouldn’t be cruel -  he’d probably try to be polite about it - but he was still about to reject you now that he’d finally got a real look. Perhaps it was okay when his imagination could fill in the blanks, but now he’d actually seen you - 
“Oh,” he said.
And in that syllable, all your fears were proved baseless. The sound was a moan of pure, wanton appreciation.
His tongue slid out to wet his lips, still pink and swollen from his hard kisses. His dominant left hand slid immediately into his underwear, and he began to pump himself vigorously. Apparently, he was more than ready for this evening’s second round. 
“Oh my god,” he groaned, speeding his strokes as his eyes roamed your exposed flesh, “you’re so hot.”
As his eyes came to your thighs and pussy again, he increased the frequency of his strokes, fist still out of sight down his underwear. 
“Five,” you said, anxiously, still feeling slightly uncomfortable. 
“Just a few minutes, baby.” he said, desperately, “Look what you’re doing to me.”
Beneath the material, he retracted his foreskin and pressed the head of his cock against the small, wet patch that had appeared there. The pink of his deeply-flushed cock tip was just visible through the fabric, rendered semi-transparent by his precome.
“I’m already leaking.” he said, agony creeping into his rough voice, “Just a few more minutes. Just until I finish.”
His eyes looked hazy, far away somehow, transported to a place where his body’s need ruled him with an iron fist. It was enchanting to behold, impossibly arousing: Five Hargreeves (the man of impeccably starched, pressed and tightly-buttoned dress shirts), was keening in front of you, totally undone with his hips gyrating into his own fist as he visually devoured your body.
“Let me eat you,” he said, begging now, “I want to jack myself off with my head between those thighs.”
And he groaned at the idea, throwing his head back and speeding his pumps.
Your body didn’t give you the opportunity to turn him down. Your pussy throbbed and slick wetness drooled onto your thighs as you looked up at him, all pale skin, latent strength and desperation.
You gave a small nod, and he bent, first to kiss your lips and then to press small pecks onto each thigh.
“That’s it, baby,” he whispered, “open your legs for me. Show me that pretty pussy.”
And that way, with small kisses progressively further up your thighs, he coaxed your legs wide.
“Good girl,” he crooned, his hand leaving his leaking cock only for the minute it would take to run his index finger up and down your slit. 
You shivered at the contact, too sensitive. He’d already fingered and fucked you to two orgasms tonight, and the feeling of his mouth replacing his finger made you buck immediately. 
“Nngh - Five.”
In response to your moan, he tasted you with a flat tongue. 
Your flavor, a potent honey, made his cock twitch in his hand, and he wrapped his free arm around your leg, drawing you even closer to him. Your soft folds soaked his lips, serving to excite him more.
“Fuck,” he whispered, still in that low growl. His exhale sent warm air dancing across your swollen clit, “you’re so perfect. I love you. I love you so fucking much.”
You had no time to glow with his praise, because he was sucking your clit too hard for you to do anything but gasp. As his mouth worked you, his tongue moved rapidly inside his mouth, flicking deliberately across your aching, needy nub. His tongue pulsed to the same beat as his hand inside his underwear, unconsciously matching the rhythm of your pleasure to his.
“God, Five!”
All the shame and discomfort was gone, washed away by the tide of swirling heat. The pleasure curled inside you, winding tighter and tighter. All that mattered now was Five’s clever mouth, pushing you inexorably towards another orgasm. 
Your conscious brain let go, and your hand gripped his hair tightly, not aware that you were pulling him even closer to you, forcing his nose into your mound. 
He grunted like a wounded bear, surprise causing his hand to falter around his cock. It was hard to concentrate, so preoccupied was he by the fact that you were taking control, pressing his face deeper into your folds. It was quite possibly the hottest thing he had ever experienced.
Recovering, he gripped himself even tighter, veins and tendons standing out in his left forearm as he worked himself almost violently. 
He was too close now, and it made him clumsy, completely losing the rhythm of his suckles and tonguing. 
“Nooo!” you whined, thighs tightening around his head, “Like before!”
Though lightheaded with the knowledge that your thighs were crushing his ears, (he was wrong earlier, this was definitely the hottest thing he had ever experienced), Five reluctantly let up on his protesting manhood and concentrated his efforts on your pussy. 
Soon, you were gasping and moaning, writhing, and taking him with you with the power of your thighs. 
“F-Five. Fuuuck. Oh fuck, that’s it!” 
Your cunt gushed onto his face as he brought you to orgasm. He groaned again as his chin and cheeks were soaked with sweet slickness. He strained to hear you scream his name, your thighs rendering him deaf as they clutched around his ears. While he couldn’t hear the individual words, he certainly heard enough to flatter his ego. 
Wave after wave of ecstasy was crashing through you, and you babbled meaninglessly: unconnected, incomprehensible syllables. Behind closed eyes, you were seeing stars, completely unaware of everything but the explosion going on in your lower body.
He withdrew, finally, when your thighs relaxed and your climax abated to spasms down your limbs. As you were still catching your breath, he rose to his knees, wiped his sodden mouth, and took himself in hand again, looking at you splayed, completely on display and too drunk on his sex to care.
It took him fewer than ten pumps to bring himself to orgasm. 
“Fucking gorgeous - cunt tastes so good. Mm - fucking perfect, so fucking hot. Oh shit!”
Eyebrows raised, mouth wide in a perfect ‘o’, he exploded into his underwear.
You could see his first shots of come soaking through the material before he was even finished painting their insides with spurts of his thick seed: an impressive load given the fact it was his second in under an hour. 
His throat ground out a low whine as he slowed his hand. 
He took four or five seconds to catch his breath, and in that time your conscious mind took a firmer hold. Though you pulled the bedsheets up and over you, it was more for physical comfort rather than mental. 
Five crawled beneath the sheets beside you, still breathing hard. When he collapsed on the pillow, he turned to you.
“Believe me now?” he asked, “you think I’d wank myself raw over someone I thought was ugly?”
You smiled and let out a small puff of air; a shy little laugh.
He propped himself up on one elbow while his other hand caressed your body beneath the sheets.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he said, firmly, “To me, you’re a renaissance painting, and I was there when Titian finished Venus and Cupid, okay?”
“Okay,” you murmured, eyes already heavy, “I’m sorry that I squeezed your head with my legs.”
“You kidding me?” he said, amused, “You could break my neck with your thighs and I’d die happy…what a way to go.”
“Well,” you said, a little discomfort returning, “I still feel bad.”
“Baby steps,” he said, voice as soft as his hand now stroking hair away from your eyes, “soon I’ll have you riding me fast and rough.”
You smiled and let his caresses close your tired eyes. After a few minutes, in which he looked lovingly down at your gentle doze, his voice sounded again.
“Can I at least beat the living shit out of that guy?”
You considered.
“...Maybe.”
Request masterlist >> HERE
NOTE: Dear sweet, anonymous girl, I see you. You did not deserve this, and this was never your problem. These formative experiences really do hurt us, and yours was such an extreme version that I'm not surprised it's given you these insecurities. I can promise you, it does get better. Feminism and loving yourself is at least half the battle, but nothing quite cements the truth like this: One day, you will be naked in front of a guy you trust completely. He'll look at you with that lustful, testosterone-fuelled glower and you'll know without a shadow of a doubt that, to him, you are venus. I take Five requests, I'm fairly versatile in what I write (fluff, smut, angst, psychological character study- I'll try it all) but I will consider them on a case by case basis. See masterlist for request status and more.
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kvthgok · 10 months
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Little Spider | Miguel O’Hara x Teen Spider Reader (Platonic)
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  warnings- none
Summary- Miguel doesn’t want you to go on a mission with him because its too dangerous and he doesn’t want to see you hurt.
Side note-  Not proofread soo~ sorry if theres any spelling or grammar mistakes! Also thank you for 100 notes on Bribe ♡ tbh I didn’t think it would do good 😭💀
“I told you no this mission is to dangerous. I DON’T need a KID getting hurt.” He said in a cold tone. Miguel acted as a father figure to you ever since you joined the Spider Society. He can’t help but see and treat you as a daughter and feel that he’s responsible for you.
“But if you just listen-“ I got cut off
“I don’t want to hear it.” He says while raising his voice. “I already told you no, you’re gonna sit this one out.”
“I always sit them out!” I argued
“And i’m telling you this one is different.” He says in a serious tone “I can’t even put it into words. Just this time please, sit it out.”
“You say that All. The. Time.” I complained
“Because I’m worried about you!” He snaps, before taking a deep breath to calm himself. “Your not invincible, I’ve seen your combat records and there’s been close calls. You can’t avoid it forever.” You stayed silent.
As he speaks his tone is stern yet loving if that makes sense he wants her to understand how truly dangerous it is. “Im not gonna stand here and wait for the day you go off on a mission and don’t come back..”
His expression softens as he begins to let his true feelings show, “This is why I want you to sit this one out.” His voice is soft and tender as he says this. He knows she wants to be included but he also wants to protect his Little Spider.
Their gaze meets for a few seconds, the look on his face shows the love he’s felt for her all this time. “Please, please for once listen to me.”
"Can I just watch from afar-“
“No.” He says in quite possibly the hardest tone yet, he doesn’t want to sound harsh but he’s not letting up on this one.
We started arguing back for a little again then he left you there back at the HQ alone in his office like he always does, leaving to the mission that was currently happening. She was there for quite a while, left to think to herself for the next few hours.
As time passes she begins to feel the emptiness of the room, it was quite and somber and she began to realize how right Miguel was. She shouldn't have argued with him, but it was to late now he was already gone. With Miguel gone she did her best to help around the HQ, taking care of various tasks.
While she worked she couldn't help but feel bad for how she acted towards Miguel. He only wanted what was best for her, maybe she was being a little to eager to jump into dangerous missions..
-Skip some time later-
As she continued to work around the HQ she finally heard Miguel return, his voice echoed and it was clear he sounded upset. She continued with her tasks as she heard him open the office door, she just hoped he wasn't mad at her.
As he walks in he goes straight to his chair, he takes a seat and lets out a sigh as if he was annoyed or just tired. You couldn't help but feel guilty. As you see him sit in his chair he looks up and sees you "Oh. I see your helping around." He says in a annoyed tone.
 "Yeah." you say looking down and going back to work, this only made you feel more guilty. You did your best to help but the silence that's going on is making it hard to feel comfortable. You knew he was mad, but it hurts knowing that it was your fault.
Miguel looks over at you once more, this time he's not annoyed anymore. In fact... there's a hint of sadness to his expression. He sighs once more before speaking "You know, maybe I was being a little harsh." he says rather quietly, his tone isn't quite the same anymore. “No, no, no its fine Miguel I understand that your just trying to keep me safe.” You said in a low voice
His tone changes to a quiet whisper "I just care about you okay? Thats the whole reason why I didn't want you going out." he says while letting out another sigh. "I don't want you thinking it's because I don't trust you. Its because I just can't bare to think of anything happening to you..." He looks at you with a expression that shows how much he means his words. Another long moment of silence passes by as Miguel just stares at you, he looks at you before giving you a small slight smile. 
Even though he knows you still feels bad about the whole thing he can't help but feel like its his responsibility to keep you safe. He doesn't know if your truly understand why he was mad in the first place but he was just glad that you were safe.
After this Miguel stands up and looks towards the desk, "I'm gonna go make myself something to eat." he says while stretching his arms. You knew he was still a little mad for what had happened a few hours ago.
But for some reason Miguel just couldn’t seem to stay mad at you, no way can he be mad at his sweet little spider.
A/n - The next one shot is gonna kinda be longer cuz like I got a little too carried away 🙏
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bluemari23 · 2 months
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Hello Mari, how are you? I was very happy with the new notifications! Your writing is one of my favorites🙃❤️.
If you feel comfortable, could you write a headcanon aimed at the BTS members where we are the boys' romantic interest, being the 8th in the group? Maybe a foreign member.
NOTE: Thank you very much for your attention! I'm happy to see you back, a big hug❤️.
Hello! thank you so much!
and i took this almost as a poly idea the second i read it, so thats kind of how i wrote your ask if that's okay! :)
bf!namjoon who constantly tries to hide negative comments about you during live, not wanting you to see any hate for being their 8th member. He and the boys know that your relationship with them is a secret, but cant help but to still try to protect you from anything and everything. Knows when something is wrong during an interview and immediately will send a signal to their manage that the interview is over. Tries to be a confidant to you and help you integrate into idol society as their new member.
bf!jin who just tries to do whatever he can to help you in any way. "Oppa will do it". Knows you are independent but loves to help you with the little things like opening a jar of pickles. Will keep snacks near by for you knowing how you tend to stress eat. Will forever be your cooking buddy despite you loving to bake. Wants to try to bake for you but you might need to help him not put too much baking soda into the baked good.
bf!yoongi who may not show it, but is so in love with you that he knows everything. he is so observant and knows exactly how you like your orange peeled (with none of the white stuff left because you can't stand the texture of it). Loves that you will hold his whenever he wants and for as long as he wants. Will never move first when cuddling on the couch, waiting until you make the first move. Is the first to sense something wrong by watching your facial expressions and body movements (like how you rub your fingers together when nervous or anxious).
bf!hoseok who takes extra time to help you learn all of their choreography so you don't falll behind with their new music/choreo. Is the best at getting you up and out of bed when you feel down from the hate youre getting online. will bring you your favorite coffee/tea when he knows you have an early morning. buys you your wardrobe (along with jimin) as they both want to dress you and take pride in the fact that you were the clothes they buy you. loves to dress you up in matching outfits.
bf!jimin who is very cuddly and affectionate. loves to lean on you and have you lean on him. spends a lot of time just being a buddy while you do chores or are getting ready for a schedule. just loves to being your ocmpany, not needing anything planned. will just lay in bed with you for hours, keeping you from stewing too long on things not in your control. stops the company from putting you on a diet for their next comeback because you are absolutely perfect to him and the boys.
bf!taehyung who loves to go explore with you. any new city you guys go to he likes to take you out to explore life in the city and find new places. loves to buy you accessories like scarves and sunglasses because then you guys match. taehyung who reads out all the "marry me y/n" and maybe makes some up just to see you smile and politely decline. loves trying to get a reaction out of you and maybe tag teams with jungkook to see who could get you flustered the most first.
bf!jungkook who loves to assert his dominance and "throw you around". loves to pick you up in his arms and throw you onto the couch or bed before smothering you in kisses. keeps you favorite treat in his bag so he can share it with you before jin sees. loves to do karaoke sessions with you on live and gets frequently caught by army staring at you in awe. jungkook who insists on sharing verses with you because he loves how your two voices mesh together. jungkook who knoes exactly how you like your ramen and makes it up before bringing it to you with a grin on his face.
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rin-and-jade · 2 months
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Job Roulette.. or Not: A Post about Alter Roles
Roles like Hosts? Protectors?.. maybe a Cleaner? an Academic?.. why is there an alter who comes out only for driving?! What about these other alters who don't really do much--they got to have one right??
--Are probably what you might be thinking when this topic comes up. But, there's something more into it,, it's not all about what job or how the role is assigned to an alter only.
Well, for this post, lets talk EVERYTHING about how roles work, what kinds exist, why it's there?? And especially, why are some more task specific, multi-role, or even... none? Bowl straight to the point, let's roll out. Haha punny
Ok J, spill. What are they?
Hold on. Im pulling out this dictionary definition of it--ah!
"defined positions that are associated with given responsibilities and are usually allocated according to the position or ability of each person."
To put it in system terms, it's how different parts can do something that others couldn't, or, feel a sense of responsibility in one particular aspect. That's making sense right? But oh.. you still want to know why they're there at the first place. Fine, follow me!
Yeah, show me why!
As aforementioned, this disorder boxes up our different parts of selves with amnesia and weaker bonds of connection which really sets us back on easing our 'modes' for different situations.. not only that, a part's moods and state/personality can greatly affect what kinds of jobs they get, it's not so random as you'd thought.
So, thing is, because some alters have a distinguished ability capable in doing something, depending what fragment or pre-existing knowledge/experience it holds, that can become it's very own job task.
They can be hereditary (upon split or formed), gained (fuse or passed traits), or even learnt (by its own commitment, without any prior skills). Roles come from many origins, and none of them are so different.
But, some are more complex..
I get it, some can have more than one, have ultra specific ones, or literally just don't have any. Now it makes you think--if it was from predisposed strengths each alters naturally have, then why are some more niche? or like, anything else? I know why:
Our brains are complex alright. We both can think maybe we can do (even if we don't like it) and not do something, and these are all compartmentalized in each alters, so basically its part feelings, part acceptance of such trait, and part commitment as the formula. Even confidence or the call to action affects this outcome!
This can apply to who can handle more than one jobs, or for those who are more specific or lesser known roles. In fact, roles do not have any limits, they are specifically tailored for your functionality so don't fret if you have an alter who's job is only to sleep, or anything else 'silly' !
What about the ones without.. roles?
Do you think it feels wrong to not have roles? While it is true that roles are needed, they're not actually a required standard for everyone to have a job task. Mainly, ANP's are the one who usually have roles, but EP's can too.
If they do not have a role, they might be disinterested or think they don't have any potential, or sometimes they're only there to hold memories / don't have the qualified skill sets, and thats okay! You can take proactive action in anyhow you'd like, just remember, every parts aren't forced to contribute, you know? It doesn't make them useless, maybe more on passive support/back ups.
I've also seen some systems who don't really have roles because the alters are all well-rounded, as in pick up other's tasks and that they're not assigned/compelled to do a particular job at all times, like being flexible. everyone's different!
Make sense, anything else?
Well, that we are not bound to roles, they do not define us, and that we can lose, or change roles according to our growth. Have anyone ever mentioned that?
Im aware that we tend to put too much emphasis on having jobs and being contributive, but the most important thing to keep in mind is that we all in this together, and to help each other, in a way or another.
Never forget that you're more than your job! Maybe try to enjoy other parts of life, yeah?
--
Thats the end of the post. What will you do if you find a new alter with no impressions of having a role? How do you see roles in your own pov? What's the first thing you'd do if you were to be free from your job task, if any? Feel free to let me know, i hope this has been informative, im willing to add anything if something's missing!
- j
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Text
i had the best bsd famous no powers au headcanons because i got the mental image of dazai saying he “hates” chuuya and none of his friends should listen to him because chuuya sucks and atsushi sadly putting the chuuya poster he wanted to buy back
and also “wait so dazai can sleep with chuuya but i cant listen to his music??? wtf ???”
most of them would be in the entertainment btw but a few exceptions here and there
okay first of all a lot of the ways every one met every one would be different for the sake of like creative liberty sfakdj like dazai and atsushi would have met earlier ; i would probably not put akutagawa in the music industry so his relationship with dazai would be different - but i havent actually worked any of that out yet so ignore this
anyway
first of all - a key plot point would be that chuuya and dazai had a falling out - and i mean an actual falling out like they cant stand anyone bringing the other up
which really sucks for the ada becuz like chuuya’s music >>>>>>>>>>>
anyway here are what i think some of the characters would be like
chuuya: 
- he rose to fame as a teenager - he’s wildly known for his good music and his smexy face 
- a good portion of younger artists like his music and look up to him
- he likes writing his own music but sometimes feels conscious about more dark/personal songs
- had a falling out with dazai at some point becuz of this he does not like ppl listening to the music that comes from dazai’s friends but he does secretly like a lot of their songs
- has secret social media accounts to stalk dazai
- has cried becuz he convinced himself at some point about dazai ‘being with’ almost everyone at the agency (at different time periods) and was not right even once
- every single one of his friends knows that half of his music is obviously about dazai but no one knows how to bring it up
- every one’s favorite thirst trap
- you know how a product will appear for a .000000000000000001 sec w/ a bts member and immediately get sold out ?? yeah thats how it is for him
- he’s very strict about crediting ppl - like someone will say like two words to him that’ll inspire him and he’ll credit them as co-writer
//
dazai:
- im not sure if i want him to be a singer or not but he’s definitely involved in other aspects such as writing producing etc
- HATES chuuya 
- so much that he’s constantly thinking about him like the pathetic wet cat that he is
- he has forbidden everyone in the agency from listening to chuuya’s music
- there may or may not be a secret underground community within the ada that listens to chuuya’s music and fangirls over him and it may or may not include everyone but dazai
- when someones mad at dazai they blast chuuya’s music
- *listening to chuuya’s music, secretly* wait is this fucking song about me ? ... nah
- atsushi once wrote a song about dazai and how glad that he was that he had a brother figure like dazai and dazai cried for 24 hours straight 
- atsushi is no longer allowed to casually write about him 
- he acts really playful and aloof but he streams all of his friends music religiously and is secretly their biggest fan
- has tried to convince everyone he knows that sings to sing his suicide song - no one has agreed yet
- he has trouble finding inspiration but when he does he latches on - sometimes he’ll disappear for days and then come back with the most perfect songs 
- really only openly nice and supportive to atsushi tbh 
//
atsushi
- i want him to be with dazai earlier becuz i think it would let their dynamic really settle and atsushi trauma-response personality won’t be as prominent if that makes sense
- atsushi’s favorite musician is everyone :D no im kidding thats what he says but its actually chuuya 
- yeah he’s the younger brother of dazai (not sure if their kinda like brothers or just adopted brothers or what yet) and he’s in love with chuuya it runs in the family
- he’s in a band
- it’s called snow beneath the moonlight - it’s him, naomi, and junichiro
- maybe they’ll add lucy and/or kyouka but idk
- atsushi’s the main singer - juni’s on drums - naomi’s on guitar - but they switch around for the funsies
- im gonna create a separate section for them actually and keep the focus on atsushi for now
- atsushi’s solo music is....
- the first album he released came after weeks and weeks of people spotting him going to the studio in bright fun clothes - and he posted a lot of fun things
- so everyone thought it’d be a fun, motivational bop album
- it was so fucking sad like holy shit what the fuck atsushi go to fucking therapy
- really good tho :>
- like if you could u would inject his voice into ur veins 
- ya know lyn lapid’s song detached 
- yeah
- if atsushi sang that itd be about akutagawa btw im not saying anything but i am
- a lot of his clothes are styled by rashomon - a fashion brand owned by the akutagawa siblings - half because of however celeb - brand partnerships work - half because he somehow became ryuu’s muse 
- i want him to live with dazai - which is one of the reasons why they need to meet earlier because i had the mental image of atsushi talking about moving out and “yeah so i moved out of my brother’s place and ya know it’s strange. good at times but strange. Like i can do so many things i was never allowed to - like i can get wasted, try acid, invite someone for the night, buy chuuya nakahara posters, put up my chuuya nakahara posters, listen to chuuya nakahara’s music, own chuuya nakahara’s albums”
- since i think dazai would probably let atsushi drink as long as he’s not insane about it , throw kunikida in there too
- has a lot of songs about ryuu but he’ll never tell him
- ryuu listening to any love song by atsushi “wait is this fucking song about me??? ...nah”
- he may or may not be fucking ryuunosuke akutagawa i cannot deny or confirm anything
//
akutagawa:
- he owns a fashion brand with his sister solely becuz i showed him to my friend a few months ago and i said “sorry he dresses like a sad vampire victorian orphan thing” and she said “that is the sexiest man i have ever seen” or something like that its been a hot second
- may or may not be in love with atsushi you cant prove it - well okay sure he has collection after collection inspired by atsushi but-
- okay so maybe he listens to atsushi’s music when he’s coming up with designs but-
- okay so maybe he has all of atsushi’s albums hidden where atsushi cant find them but-
- okay so maybe atsushi’s been at his place enough for akutagawa to think ‘oh no what if he finds all the albums’ but-
- anyway
- he had a lot of goth, punk, etc, vibes and stuck to a dark, muted color range
- and then one day dropped a gold-violet colored bright not-at-all-like-his-previous-stuff collection and pretended it was normal
//
snow beneath the moonlight - band
members: atsushi, junichiro, naomi
- it was started in highschool by juni going to atsushi and being like ‘wanna start a band’ and atsushi, who was sleeping a little cardboard box in the spot where the sun was, was like “hmmm? um sure zzzzzzzzz” if that makes sense 
- naomi found out about it and joined before atsushi and juni could ask her
- so typically it’s atsushi on vocals, naomi on guitar, juni on drums, but they can be pretty versatile like atsushi’s usually got a guitar on him sorry i cant think of the words rn and juni can play the piano and naomi can do all of that
- naomi and juni sing too if they want - theyre not strict about roles 
- they wrote their music together in highschool 
- they still do - but now when their stuck they dont cry they ask others for help :)
- very sweet and fun vibes
- they literally just do whatever they want - if there is a style or genre they want to try they probably will
- naomi has to do a lot of the talking becuz juni gets uncomfy and atsushi’s attention span causes him to leave ppl mid conversations becuz he saw a cool leaf
okay
//
quick notes:
- not sure if oda and his orphans will be alive but itd be weird to kill them off in this au for me but idk
- oda’s a writer
- poe is also a writer 
- idk where to stick ranpo in becuz it hard for me to imagine him being anything but the world’s best detective
- i kind of want yosano to be in the industry but i also want her to be a doctor
- the ada is just fukuzawa’s adopted children that do whatever they want career wise becuz of him - nepotism babies btu theyre all orphans 
- kyouka’s a singer and so is kenji
- katai’s a producer
- kunikida’s someones manager but who knows whose he only ever babysits dazai and the rest of hte agency
- so as you can see im still working out the kinks of this au
- if you have suggestions or comments lemme know
- this would be equal parts skk and sskk and whatever the fuck everyone else’s got going on
- kouyou would also be a singer - im thinking classical
- q is that child artist that you love but cant help but wonder fi theyre being exploited
- lucy is trained in america and started off there but has recently moved to japan idk how thatll work for her
- sigma is a big atsushi fan btw
- the ada is so chaotic and disorganized and half the ppl there arent even in the industry but it’s just a cover for fukuzawa’s children so it still works
anyway i might continue this and update as i go
feel free to ask more about this au or give ideas or whatever <33
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harrywavycurly · 9 months
Note
Okay so… how did Eddie meet Barbie!Reader? Was he all of a sudden at the beach or did Barbie!Reader go to find the girls thats playing w her in Hawkins? How!
Hiii babes!! I will happily answer this, in my head Barbie took a wrong turn somewhere trying to get to the real world and ended up in Hawkins and just decided to never leave. So I hope you enjoy this little blurb about them meeting 💖
-find all things Eddie Munson x Barbie!Reader here✨
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Eddie let’s out a sigh of pure exhaustion as he closes the driver’s side door of his van. He closes his eyes and leans his head back against the headrest of his seat and he honestly debates on taking a ten minute Power Nap before driving home to his small, lonely one bedroom apartment. His thoughts are interrupted by a loud squealing noise causing him to open his eyes and what he sees in front of him makes him question if he actually is asleep or not.
“Oh no.” Your voice is full of panic as your hot pink convertible begins to have black smoke billow from the engine. “No no no…don’t do that.” Eddie raises his eyebrow as he watches you talk to your car as if it’s actually going to fix the problem. “I knew I should’ve picked my bike.” You get out of your car and Eddie can’t help but feel his eyes goes wide as he sees your outfit, it’s a pink mini skirt with a white and pink crop t shirt and pink heels.
“This is clearly a dream.” He mumbles as he waits to see what you’re going to do, he knows he probably looks like a creep but he’s too tired to really care. He watches as you bend down and look at your tires and he has no clue as to why. “What the hell?” He’s unbuckling his seatbelt as he watches you walk towards your trunk and stare into it after you open it.
“Something in here must be wrong.” You state as you place a hand on your hip. “Oh maybe it’s you? You’re too heavy or something?” You ask yourself as you reach inside the trunk and pick up your hot pink suitcase that has most of your wardrobe in it.
“Uh I don’t think your suitcase is the reason your engine has smoke coming from it.” You turn your head and Eddie is taken back by how gorgeous you are, another reason he thinks he’s actually dreaming because no way someone looking like you decided to just take a trip through Hawkins. “I’m Eddie.” He adds making you smile.
“Hi! I’m Barbie!” You give him a little wave as he not so subtlety looks you up and down. “Do you like my outfit?” You ask when you see Eddie’s eyes land on your t shirt. Eddie’s cheeks go red as he clears his throat and takes a step around you so he can open the hood of your car.
“You’re overheated.” He explains as he looks at your engine, he hears the sound of your heels on the sidewalk and he’s not sure why it makes him nervous the closer it gets.
“Oh I’m fine I actually don’t even sweat.” You reassure him as you put on your pink heart shaped sunglasses. Eddie leans over so he can look at you to see if you’re just messing with him but he can tell by the smile you’re giving him that you’re being serious.
“Uh I was talking about the car.” He adds making you just tilt your head at him. “Just give me a few minutes and you should be good to go.” You smile and clap your hands together out of excitement as Eddie gets busy fixing your car.
“Do you happen to know where I’m at? I took a left turn on my snowmobile and somehow ended up back in my dream car but I think I was supposed to get in a boat.” Eddie decides right then and there that he really must be dreaming because none of that made sense minus the dream car because you had already told him you’re name is Barbie.
“You’re in Hawkins sweetheart.” You just smile as you look around and wave at the people who are looking at you as the drive by.
“It’s Barbie remember? Not sweetheart…that’s a cute name but it’s just not mine.” Eddie is happy he can hide his embarrassment behind your car’s hood. “Hawkins…I like it here.” You mumble to yourself as Eddie closes the hood making you jump a bit at the loud noise. “Can I see your dream house?” You ask making Eddie laugh and rub at the back of his neck as you look at him with big hopeful eyes.
“It’s called an apartment.” He explains as he hands you back your car keys. “You can uh follow me there if you’d like?” You take the keys and look from them back to Eddie who’s raising an eyebrow at you. “What’s wrong?” He asks as you look at your car.
“I don’t know how to drive…in the real world.” And with that Eddie just takes the keys from your hand and puts them in his pocket before turning and grabbing your suitcases from the trunk. “You’re so strong.” Eddie has to fight the urge to roll his eyes at your comment because he knows you actually mean it in a nice way and not a sarcastic way.
“Thanks Barbie.” Is all he says as you follow him across the street towards his van.
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bonny-kookoo · 11 months
Text
Jungkook
𝓣𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓮 : Short #2
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Jungkook deals with the downsides of being a young doctor all the time. One of them being, that sometimes he can't do anything.
Tags/Warnings: Hospital/Medical AU, Doctor!Jungkook, slightly aged up!Jungkook, dog hybrid!Reader, hints at domestic abuse, MC's age is not mentioned but it is mentioned that she is above 21, first meeting between jk and reader lets goo
Length: ~700 Words
⛔️ I can't Tag people. There is no Taglist for this fic.⛔️
A/N: Please do not come for my throat if some stuff doesn't make sense. I've tried hard, but I'm not a doctor, and so none of this should be taken too seriously. Treat it like a medical drama. Those ain't real either haha
->Masterlist
⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅
Jungkook has, like many others, bad habits.
One of them is that he can't seem to shut off well- he can't seem to just exist in the moment sometimes, without thinking about work or anything work related. Even right now, at the mall, he's still constantly thinking about the little hybrid infant back in the ICU, better, but still fighting. Did he check everything properly before having him transferred? Did he overlook something?
Jungkook knows not to take his work back home. But sometimes, it's hard.
There's a bit of a small crowd near the store he wants to go. People trying to look at what's happening, others further front talking to each other with concerned eyes. And then he hears it;
"Maybe we should find a doctor?" Someone asks, and Jungkook sighs, lifting his hand.
"I'm one." He calls out, having had this moment once before in a flight into his vacation a year ago. "What's wrong?" He asks, squeezing through he people to get a look at the scene.
There's a hybrid sitting down, an older lady holding onto her.
"She- I don't know, fell I think, but she won't get up now." The lady says, unsure.
"..can't." You quietly try and argue, and Jungkook can feel the tension between you and this woman he assumes is your owner. So he squats down close to you, making all effort not to seem to intimidating even in his dark clothes and rather casual attire.
"Lets get out of the way first." He says, leaning down to you. "Is it okay if I carry you?" He asks, and you nod, shrugging. He collects you into his arms to bring you to a more closed off hallway leading to bathrooms and other things, where he sits you down on a bench. "Can you tell me what happened?" He asks you, and you stare at the woman for a moment, before you look at him. You seem scared- and he worries he might have an idea why.
It's a anger-inducingly common after all.
"..I caught my tail in the.. door." You say, motioning to the automatic glass doors of the store. "And now.. my legs are weird." You worry, and Jungkook nods.
"Lets check, okay?" He kindly tells you, carefully stretches out one leg, moving everything a little to judge your reaction. "Are they numb, or just tingly?" He wonders, and you watch him.
"Tingly. They went.. all gooey for a bit though." You say.
"Thats normal." He nods. "The sensation will come back really soon, don't worry- it's just a temporary nerve blockage from the way you caught your tail. Can you try and move your feet for me?" He asks, and you do so. "There we go. It'll stay a bit sore for a few more moments maybe, but its nothing to be scared of." Jungkook reassures, looking at the lady next to you. "Hybrid tails are connected to the spine- like an extension, so to say. So when she caught it, she basically blocked all nerve signals for a moment." He explains, before he looks at you. "Can I have a look at your tail? It's fine if you don't want to." He makes sure to emphasize your choice, and you nod-
mainly because he leaves you a choice at all.
You turn around and he gently moves his fingers around, apologizing under his breath when you hitch a bit from pain. "How old are you?" He wonders in thought, and the lady cuts him off.
"Old enough to be on her own if she wasn't so incapable of taking care of herself." The woman complains, running a hand through her hair. And while it doesn't tell him your exact age, it does tell him that you're at least above 21- the minimum age for a hybrid to be considered 'independent' if they're between the categories of one to four, which you seem to be placed in. If he had to make a guess, he'd probably say a three, maybe.
For now, he ignores her snarky responses however. It's not his problem, and he shouldn't get involved in things that do not involve him, down the line. "Did you break it in the past?" He wonders, feeling something that hints at past poorly healed fractures, but the lady cuts in yet again.
"She's clumsy." She snaps. "Can we go now? We have some urgent things to take care of and we're already late." She tries to sound friendly- but she's really not.
But all Jungkook can do is nod. "Just.. have it looked at if the complaints don't clear up entirely by tonight." He says, and the lady nods- though she's already occupied searching for something in her bag. It makes him pretty convinced that no matter if your complaints resolve themselves or not, she won't do anything about it.
And so he watches you leave on slightly unsteady legs, dragged a bit by the hand around your wrist, and he can't help but feel a little hollow inside, especially when you turn around to wave at him politely, way too nice to be treated like this. He's sure, if you met under different circumstances, you'd be a very lovely person to be around.
But right now, all he's left with at the end of the day, is the fact that he can't save everyone.
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oddballwriter · 5 months
Note
can i get something with DadKnight being the designated parent to play tooth fairy when your child loses their first tooth and they have to sneakily hide cash under their child pillows in the middle of the night 😭
The Tooth Fairy
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Summary: Marc takes on the mission of being the tooth fairy and making the switch with the tooth and money when you daughter is asleep.
Warnings: None that I know of honestly 
Author’s Snip: Wholesome indeed, thank you, anon.
I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.
Word Count: 933
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“Okay, that’s the end of tonight’s chapter.” Marc concluded as he closed the book that the system have been reading to Abi before bed, looking over to your daughter.
“You nice and comfortable?” He asks, to which the little girl nods as she picks at a part of her mouth. “Don’t pick at your gums, sweetheart. If you do your adult teeth grow in funny.” Marc says as he gently pulls her hand away. “How about that tooth? Where is it? The tooth fairy’s gonna be coming tonight for it.” Marc asks.
He’s mostly asking because this is her first lost tooth and one of the kids in her class told her that means the tooth fairy is coming when it first started getting loose, so now he’s gotta do the whole act for her.
Abi sits up and lifts up her pillow showing the little tooth in a plastic baggie that was used to hold the snacks in her lunch box. Marc nods, knowing where exactly the tooth is meant to be.
“Dad.” Abi was looking towards him and getting a simple “Yes?” in return. “Do you think the tooth fairy is real?” she questions. Marc blinks in surprise but keeps a normal face “Why do you ask that?” he asks. “Well, because, no one ever actually sees her and she also visits all the kids who lose their teeth. But there are a lot of kids losing teeth, so how does she get them all?” she explains.
Marc thinks of something to say and settles on one thing. “I used to wonder that too. But I figured that maybe there was more than one tooth fairy and they’re all meant to take care of the kids in different places. And maybe they’re all shy and don’t want people to bother them.” Marc says. He can see Abi think about it before she nods with a smile “That makes sense.”.
Marc smiles and is about to say goodnight but Abi asks another, less explainable, question. “Why do they collect teeth? And why is it only kid teeth?”. Marc gets up from the end of Abi’s bed upon hearing that. “No idea. But how about we head to sleep so the lady can do her job, yeah?” Marc says as he carefully tucks Abi into bed, kisses her on the forehead, and says good night. He closes the door gently as Abi shuffles in her bed to get comfortable and fall asleep. Marc walks to the living room where you are. "So what's the game plan again?" he asks as he sits in the armchair next to the sofa you're seated on. "Just the normal thing you do when you play tooth fairy. You go in when she's asleep, so maybe about an hour from now, take the tooth, quietly replace it with the quarters, and then get out." you explain matter of factually. "And I have to do it why?" Marc asks.
You shrug "I don't know I figured that you would like to do the honors of doing the first tooth.". Marc looks at you for a second with a puzzled look, "That's a weird honor to do." Marc comments. "Well, I can do it if you want." you say, but Marc quickly says "No, I'll do it." which makes you do a smug thats-what-I-thought look.
"Okay, but we aren't going to be one of those gross parents who keep the teeth as creepy souvenirs, right?" Marc questions. "We are keeping her teeth, but that's for if she develops anything and they need stem cells. Baby teeth are good for that." you clarify. Marc smiles at you for a second and says "That was Steven's idea wasn't it?", you look away with a blush and remark "It's a good idea. Just in case she needs it down the line.".
After about an hour since putting Abi to bed, Marc stands outside her bedroom door. He feels a nervousness in himself that feels similar to when he goes on missions. It feels silly but he finds that thinking about this process like a mission helps him feel more confident. He goes over the plan in his mind before taking a breath and quietly opening the door.
He peaks in and finds Abi soundly asleep and cuddled up in her covers. The light from her rotating lamp, the one Steven bought for her that cast stars around the room, provided enough light for Marc to see and navigate around her room. He carefully made his way to her bed, avoiding the creaky parts of the floor, quietly kneeling down to be able to make the switch more clean.
Marc always wondered just how nerve-racking it actually is to be Indiana Jones when he's making the switch with the statue and the sack in the temple as a kid, now he actually knows as he carefully worms his hand under the pillow and pulls out the baggie.
That's one part complete. Now he has to make the replacement. So he takes the small sheer pouch that holds her tooth fairy money and carefully maneuvers it under her pillow, freezing when Abi stirs slightly, but continuing and moving his hand out once he knows she's still asleep.
Marc quietly leaves and closes the door behind him a second time, this time having done the most high-stakes switcheroo he's done in his entire life. He takes a second before quietly pumping his fist in success knowing that in the morning Abi's going to come running out of her room excited about her prize at breakfast time.
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kiefbowl · 1 month
Note
Everytime I say to myself "im bisexual" i get this sense of deep guilt, and i just feel like crying flor some reason.
I know im not straight and i know im not a lesbian so the only logical conclusion is that I'm bi but i just dont feel like I am? I also dont feel like I'm allowed to have these feelings of struggle because i see people online say women are prtending to be bi for queer points so i feel like I'm overreacting you know.
Everytime I think of myself being in a relationship with a woman i feel a deep sense of shame.
I feel guilty like im a monster you know. I grew up in a homophobic country and only moved out like 3 years ago so i think maybe thats why ? Idk im just lost. I see people online just like being super happy about being lgb and im like why am I struggling? Im not supposed to feel this way. I feel like a fraud.
I was outed, kind of, I mean I wanst even sure i was bi but she told everyone and like my friends started behaving differently towards me and idk I just well first of all why did she tell people?? I didnt even know if i was into women i just wanst sure i wanted to make sense of it first i felt exposed in a way(dont worry my uni was chill so no physical harm or anyhting like thta)
Like that was my thing!! It was my fukcing thing and you don't get to tell people about it . Why did she do that. I know its not a big deal but now like if you ask me if im out i would say no ? Like no one knows im bi here in this new country.
Im rambling.
I have never said the word "im bisexual" out loud like ever
I'm going to give you permission about something you haven't specifically asked for, but in my wisdom I'm going to grant you this permission:
You don't have to know.
It's okay! You've moved, you're young, you're getting away from homophobia and finding new kinds of homophobia...that's too much stress, just stop worrying about it. So you don't know today, who cares? You'll figure it out. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in 50 years.
If it's causing you this amount of stress, and if all the voices of all these people in your head causing you doubt, then you aren't allowing yourself to discover by simply living. You're becoming a police officer in you head, and you're navel gazing as a form of punishment, and let me tell you, even if you were straight as ruler that wouldn't help you find love and fulfillment.
You're sexual orientation is something natural within you. So whatever feels natural, that's the truth of the matter. If you are trying to attack this as a thinking problem that needs solving, you just won't get there. Go out and party, go out and enjoy people's company, go set life goals and focus on them...and one day when you're not thinking about it you will meet someone you can't deny is the most lovely, beautiful person in the whole world and all you want to do is kiss them. And then you'll know.
This is about no one else but you. This is your sexual orientation, this is your life, and you don't need a peanut gallery weighing in. Fire your shitty friends if you have to. If people ask, you can say "I'm figuring it out" or even flat out say "that's none of your f*cking business." Or, if you want to be funny, pretend you have a very selective hearing problem.
Prioritize the things that you know are fulfilling you right now, and all the stuff you don't know yet will come back around in due time. This is true of love as it's true of everything else we obsess about. You don't have to know everything about yourself to be a good person.
Good luck, sis. Have fun smooching cuties, studying seriously, and enjoying the sun.
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sonic-oc-showdown · 6 months
Text
ROUND 3
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Squabble belongs to @sonic-adventure-3
Zenyx belongs to @grimsdeadb0nes
Find out more about them below!
Squabble the Pigeon:
incredibly cheerful untrained pilot and mechanic for a trio of freelance postal workers/hitman. LOVES airplanes and explosives and tinkering and package delivery, is a chronic pipe bomb maker, and has a boundless joie de vivre. she operates on cartoon physics, and has a messenger bag that functions as a hammerspace where she keeps her exposives, revolver, second identical revolver that pops a flag, bazooka, and everything else including the kitchen sink. incredibly cheerful and completely lacking in common sense or a coherent moral compass. about twelve, and on the short side.
Zenyx:
Zenyx is a(n Offcolor) Zeti hailing from the Lost Hex, hidden from the eyes of all but a small handful for her own safety.
Described as exceedingly versatile and a fairly composed wild-card, she acts as The Deadly Six's secret Seventh member! The full extent of her outwardly behaviors is dependant on who she may be around or the situation at hand. She can be quite sweet and very caring to those she likes or is loyal to (which is a very limited list), but can otherwise be just as malicious as the rest of her Pack tend to be towards outsiders. However, unlike the other six, she won't always go out of her way to cause harm or misery UNLESS given proper reason to or provoked. She can be alittle hissy at times, but she's not inherently hot-headed like some; she just doesnt like her buttons being pushed or being lied to- or worse yet, her Pack being messed with.
Zenyx is extremely loyal to the Six and may be described as "caring alittle too much", as she enjoys keeping an eye on/spending time with each and every one if possible and making sure they're okay. She's very keen on stealth and being observant, a quick thinker that thinks ahead, and maybe a slight bit of a people pleaser towards certain individuals- but she isn't afraid to give her two cents either and often lacks a filter at times, offering a touch of sass and attitude. She can be very performative (to an extent) and likes trying to make things fun, being ultimately much more (surprisingly) pleasant than the rest of the Six.
In my Lost World Rewrite (currently still being worked on as of this Poll, yet to be properly revealed!), she is the main inclusion-difference and is by all means another rough obstacle for Sonic and Tails to get through. She managed to remain hidden while the rest of the Six were "conquered" by Eggman for a time, staying out of sight and scheming or helping behind the scenes- as well as working on a way to aid in their freedom before Sonic inevitably kicked the Cacophonic Conch from Eggman's grasp, speeding up that plan tenfold. Eggman was none the wiser to her existence until much later in the story, even going as far as aggressively denying the existence of a seventh in the stretch of area he had taken over when asked about it by Tails, because "If there was, I would have conquered them too!" or something.
She appears in much further stuff planned but thats all hush hush rn ;3!
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Hello everyone, today I'll do something never before seen on the flames and darkness liveblog which is read TWO chapters!! Idk man, i havent been able to read more than one chapter at a time recently because this book suddenly turned into such a slog to get through, although granted that might also just be my mental illness making it more difficult. whatever, i'll be in treatment for that next week
Anyway, today I'll be reading chapter 44 which is the star fall chapter, and chapter 45 which is. a chapter. Knowing this book series nothing of note is gonna happen in that one but that wont stop me from reading it
Chapter 44
Okay, theyre mentioning Feyre not looking so emancipated amymore and it made me remember all the weird weight shit from the start of this book. Like, she was losing weight because she was throwing up all the time and then not eating a lot and everyone was constantly remarking on that and it was unbelievably uncomfortable, but then when Feyre officially joined the night court and everyone immediately stopped talking about it, it almost feels a little manipulative, if that makes sense. Like, this book is ostensibly about Feyres healing journey but the Night Court cannot, under any circumstances, have anything negative associated with it so her trauma basically just disappears so we dont have to see the unpleasant parts of her recovery, she has one (1) nightmare after she starts living there permanently, one (1) moment where she feels too depressed to leave the bed and a few moment where she acts out but then immediately feels bad for it every time
Ughhhhh Feyre is wearing a dress for this which is really frustrating but you guys already know how I feel about that so shant go into that much more detail on this
I swear Im not just saying this to be a hater, Feyres dress sounds so tacky too
yoooooooo is Cassian implying he'd like to wear a tacky ass dress too??
and yet hes just wearing a BLACK TUNIC bro Feyre is literally covered in diamonds from head to toe so she can look like a shooting star or whatever and Cassian doesnt even have the decency to wear a black tunic that glitters or something?? Or hell, maybe even a red tunic to match his siphons, idk, give me SOMETHING im gonna tear my fucking hair out
Feyre is wondering about the IC being her friends and its like, girlie theyre barely even each others friends and youve known each other for maybe half a year to their 500 years
Feyre is describing Azriel hungrily staring at Mor's ass and it reminded me of that one bonus chapter Ive seen discussions about where he's really horny about Elain in a way thats pretty uncomfortable, and a lot of ex-Elriels say that it made them stop liking the idea of the ship because thats when they realized that SJM was just gonna mutilate both of their characters for the sake of smut, but honestly I dont think she would even need to mutilate Az that much
I could not give less of a shit about the Mor/Cassian/Azriel drama but I have to admit its kinda funny reading about Feyre speculating so much about Mor's relationships knowing shes gonna turn out to be interested in women
Mor says that Rhysand was very upset after she had sex with Cassian and beat him up as hard as he could (#incest) but she says he wasnt upset because of her virginity but because of the danger she put herself in by losing it, which is like, first of all that seems like splitting hairs, he was still upset that she lost her virginity even though that was none of his business. And second of all, I think it would actually make sense for him to have the kind of archaic sexist beliefs that would make Mor losing her virginity upsetting to him, considering he was also 17 when that happened just like Mor and Im guessing there wasnt anyone around to teach him feminism. or maybe hes so feminist he came out of the womb believing in womens rights and didnt need to be taught anything
god, the inner circle dynamics are so comically fucked up I have no idea how they can stand being around each other
Again, Im not much of a Feylin girlie but "Your hair looks... clean." >>>>>>>>>>>>>> "You look like a women again." (???? whats thag even supposed to mean)
So Rhysand is not wearing a black tunic, but he is wearing wearing a black jacket which is equally disappointing. atleast he has his tits out i guess
Rhysand was gone for 50 years and yet his best friends are not spending any time with him at their first party together since theyve been seperated, thats what i call friendship goals
Yeah, I guess its kinda sad that Rhys missed out on important holiday that meant a lot to him while undr the mountain but you know who else had to do that? Literally everyone that wasnt from the spring court
So he doesnt wanna tell his friends, who are by all accounts doing alright because theyve spent the past few decades trapped in a beautiful idyllic city, about his trauma but hes perfectly fine traumadumping on a twenty year old woman who just started to recover from her own trauma
Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this bullshit where theyre getting covered in star spirits or whatever feels so joyless to me, like its not whimsical or fun to me
Okay so, Ive heard about Rhysand calling Feyre exquisite and it made me cringe just thinking about it, but it looks like theyve translated that to him calling her 'herrlich' which means the exact same thing but it sounds a lot less weird and bad. once again, thank you, Alexandra
Feyre really just said "You regret sexually assaulting me? But why?" huh
Chapter 45:
Okay, thats the end of the chapter but theres two more things that kinda annoyed me that I didnt feel the need to mention as I was reading. 1) Feyre kept going on and on aboht Rhysand being her friend, it felt so insincere, its like sjm say a post online right before she started writing this chapter that was like "in the best relationships, your partner isnt just your partner but also your best friend" and decided to put that sentiment in her book, and 2) I felt like there were so many moments towards the end of that chapter where Feyre is like "oh, ive never felt this way with anyone" and its very obviously alluding to how she didnt love Tamlin as much as she does Rhysand now, and it was just very strange to read, like Tamlin was haunting the narrative even though hes not even dead yet
Uhm. so i got really tired all of a sudden so I took a nap at this point and read some gay vampire fanfic to rejunivate myself and now Im ready for whatever happens in the next chapter
"I was a traitor. [...] Even though I oficially left Tamlin - it was only two months ago, after all. By Fae standards that was probably barely more than a day." Oh yeah, i havent been keeping track of the time thanks for reminding me that this story about immortals is moving at a breakneck pace for no goddamn reason. But also, as an author trying to write a grand long-lasting romance, why would you write this. I know Feysand are gonna get married at the end of book and now when I get to that point Im not gonna be thinking "wowwww such romance" Im gonna be thinking "damn these bozos did the fae equivalent of getting eloped in vegas after knowing each other for barely a week"
Oh, men of all ages are training at this camp? would you say some of them are. child-aged
Feyre is being all "its so cold here, im freezing in my illyrian leathers I cant imagine a child with no clothes surviving here for a single day, much less eight years" (referring to Cassian) and yet she doesnt spare a single thought to all the children who have to be at this camp as well because this is the camp that the batboys grew up in, its not like this is a different kind of camp where they dont train children
God I hate Feyre thinking about how fuckin powerful the batboys are especially because its like, Rhysand is literally their high lord, he already holds so much power over the guys running this camp we dont need a reminder that he could easily crush their minds or that his goons need more syphons to contain the totality of their power or whatever
I get that these guys are like, shitty misogynists or whatever, but I dont think Rhys throwing them out of the house they live in is some #boyboss move hes just being an asshole
Rhysand would never want to lock Feyre in a house for protection, but he does want to decapitate anyone who lays a hand on her which is soooooo much better
Rhysand keeps calling the.... "females" of this camp "girls" which implies one of two things: 1) hes talking about adult women, hes just calling them girls, which is not very feminist of our feminist king, or 2) hes talking about actual girls aka children which. thank god for our feminist king having equal-opportunity child soldiers
Its actually kind of surreal how theyre at the camp where the batboys spent their CHILDhoods and Feyre keeps talking about what it mustve been like for Cassian while the narrative is actively avoiding talking about children being at the camp at this present moment while also not outright stating "there are no kids here at this present moment"
"'[The clipping of the wings is] to ensure the safety of their women, they said.'" this reminds me of something @/kateprincessofbluewhales said in regards to Rhysand forcing illyrian women to train but not doing anything else to advance their rights, which is that the wing clipping mightve started as a way for men to help women dodge the 'draft' that seems to be mandatory for all healthy illyrians. I dont really have anything else to say about that, it just popped into my head and i thought it was interesting
Rhysand is talking about how at some of the camps, women are declared anti-marriage material if they train and how he cant do anything about that and its like, even if these women are not officially declared unmarriable or whatever, the misogynistic men that make up these camps are probably not gonna wanna marry a women who trains, so what difference does that really make
Also, he says the only thing he could do about 'laws' like that is to murder the warlords and take their children/trainees? under his wing and I guess he thinks he would have to do that for every camp that does that but honestly, I think just doing it once or twice would send a powerful enough message to discourage other warlords from being misogynistic. And he wouldnt have to raise all these children all by himself either, Im sure he could get the help of a few non-sexist men or even, gasp, some women. Like those priestesses living in that library Im sure some of the ones that have already recovered from their trauma somewhat wouldnt mind teaching some boys about the harm that misogyny does
Okay so the blood rite is called a Blutritual [blood ritual] in german which is a little confusing because a ritual is a pretty specific thing and I dont think the blood rite is that specific thing but whatever, it sounds cool enough
Ive said this before, I am not a Tamlin girlie, at best I prefer him to Rhysand, and I dont like or trust Rhysand at all, but imagine hearing that tragic story about how their families killed each other, leaving them as the only survivors and being like "I cant believe Tamlin killed Rhysands family!!" especially when its like, the only person Feyre actually knows Tamlin killed is Rhysands dad who sucked ass, its not exactly a great loss
I feel like i had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things in this chapter that I couldnt write down because theyre these abstract half-thoughts, so I think I'll let those marinate until theyre full thoughts and share them with you at some later date
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crystaljellie · 1 month
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An Analysis of My Scott Playlist
Big long post as promised <33 roughly 40 songs
I've Had Enough by Melina KB
This song in the context of double life is very interesting to me, but I also like to see it in Scott talking to Jimmy (Sorry flower husbands truthers I love soft and kind flower husbands too but we have all seen what happened in limited life they do have some slight issues)
"Cause you miss the way I let you walk all over me" | Again could work in both contexts, Scott never really went out of his way to stop Pearl from doing what she does with the powdered snow, sure he did retaliate but you can tell at some point he just gets used to it. And then in the context of Jimmy I'm thinking very especially about limited life flower husbands and Scott giving up time for Jimmy.
"I'm done with shutting up I've learned a lot better" | Maybe in this of Scott thinking he's learnt to stand up for himself? And I say think because I'm talking about how he thought he was in the right in double life (None of them were) It's also funny because he has the confidence so strongly in double life where he makes his feelings known and then it's just like... 'Oh yeah you can kill me!!' And I know it's part of his whole making everything fair thing, but still
"Admit you did it we all know you did it" | We all know you're the one who left me when you went to the nether, tormented me, screwed me over repeatedly. Both Pearl and Scott do not understand each others perspectives of the situation and villanize the other for it.
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Washing Machine Heart by Mitski
"I know who you pretend I am" | Limited life Scott and Martyn, Martyn pretending he's serving his king again, Scott being alright with it because he knows Martyn is by his side for more than just that reason, and he's right Martyn is.
It's a pretty short analysis here but it's mainly I guess about Scott wanting allies and wanting to be loved by them but they always have someone else more important to them than he is
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The Moon Will Sign by the Crane Wives
"All those empty rooms" | Something about Scott being alone after Jimmy died in 3rd life, empty rooms with no noise to fill them
"We made our peace with weariness and let it be" | The weariness oof being forced into death games over and over, the blood brings chaos the familiarity of death brings peace
"I shine only with the light you gave me" | OKAY NOW HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE You might be saying "But Scott was the one who lived longer in that relationship and is literally seen as the stars" But have you ever considered Jimmy was the one everyone loved more, jimmy was the one to make strong alliances, Jimmy was the one there was fuss over when he died. Scott was only able to be strong because he had Jimmy by his side and without that 'light' he was simply a tool of vengence
"Instead you hoarded all thats left of me" | In the sense that Jimmy unknowingly kept Scott's ability to love another other than him, and all his courage and faith in the world. Not that Jimmy was doing it on purpose but it still happened anyways
"I want to feel the fire that you kept from me" | NOBODY TALK TO ME THIS IS 100% SCOTT TALKING ABOUT RANCHERS. I DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE RANCHERS AND HATE FLOWER HUSBANDS OR WHATEVER BUT YOU CANNOT TELL ME THIS IS NOT SCOTT BEING BITTER THAT JIMMY GAVE MORE LOVE TO TANGO THAN HE EVER DID TO SCOTT. HE WANTED TO FEEL THAT FIRE OF A LOVE HE NEVER GOT TO KEEP
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Two Slow Dancers by Mitski
Another double life-coded song
Very much Scott and Pearl
"And We've both done it all a hundred times before" | More so in reference to last life, they've played the death game before they know how it goes
"it would be a hundred times, easier if we were young again" | If they were young and still filled with faith, if Scott hadn't won last life and learnt the pain of winning and become bitter in the season following
"We get a few years and then it want's us back" | Not necessarily a few years but more so like the gaps between the games, a bit of freedom and then the watchers want them all at each others throats
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Evelyn Evelyn by Evelyn Evelyn
Surprise surprise another Pearl and Scott one
"Why do we bother to stay? Why are you running away" | Scott and Pearl with their conflicting feelings at the start of double life, with Scott wondering why he should stay and Pearl not wanting him to leave her
"We grew up closer than most, closer than anything, closer than anything" | In either they grew up close in last life or their soulbound in double life, either way their fates are intertwined
"What if they find us? They're not looking anyways" and it's counter part line "I want to be famous, they're watching us anyways" | WATCHERS WATCHERS WATCHERS!! There's so much about this that just gives, hiding away from the watchers or giving into their whims
"At your side I feel like a ghost" | It can go either way in my mind, Pearl not feeling adequate enough to be seen and Scott feeling like she's killing him
"A parasite needs a host- I'm only trying to do what is best for us!" | because Pearl only wanted to help her soulmate, not that Scott didn't but he felt so betrayed and then it turned to a feeling of her leeching onto him
"You're always trying to be somebody else" | THIS!! Because Pearl wasn't acting like who she used to be and who Scott became friends with, she became 'somebody else' in an attempt to bring him back.
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Little Soldiers by the Crane Wives
"Beneath the table you would offer up my bones And all the dogs would lick your fingers" | As in how Jimmy does things at Scott’s expense to get people to trust him or to get time and hearts and such
"And I dragged you through every room inside our home" | Scott struggling to get Jimmy to do anything with him anymore and feeling like the effort he puts in is not enough
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November by Sparkbird
"Admit it, you were never going to get it I was always going to get it" | Can't explain why but this gives last life Scott killing Ren
"Maybe that's relevant somehow, can I explode now" | ....boom boom at the end of double life :3
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Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives
"And I swear I didn't mean what I said" ...I live by the belief that Scott didn't actually mean to tell Pearl he was 'breaking up' with her, guys trust me it was the watchers. But also apart from that it could be anything
"Are we allies or enemies this will be the death of me" | Scott in secret life, not understanding what his teammates actually think of him
"All is fair in love and war but I can't fight with you anymore" | FLOWER HUSBANDS LIMITED LIFE GUYS!!
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Canary in a coal mine
CANARY IN A COAL MINE IS SCOTT’S SONG NOT JIMMY’S I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL
"Am I the only thing that keeps you safe when the light is gone?" | Scott being the only person to protect Jimmy in third life and protecting his memory even after he’s dead
"I’ll be worth more than all the silence left in my way" | The silence referring to how Jimmy doesn’t really interact or talk to Scott outside of third life, he is silent towards him, and Scott is hoping that he’ll be more than that to Jimmy if he tries hard enough
"I’ll sing you songs until the darkness does recede" | Scott calming Jimmy down when he needs it always being there to reassure him, keeping his hearts safe and him armoured in 3rd life
"Will you forget about your love for me?" | If Scott is no longer able to keep chasing after someone that won’t come back from him will that love that they once had in 3rd life be forgotten for good?
"And when you break the surface, oh, without me" | When Jimmy meets new people achieves new things and finally manages to break the curses all without Scott because no matter how much Scott tries Jimmy won’t let him help
"Please don’t return me to the dark of all the memories, yeah" | The dark actually being hope don’t give him any more hope that those memories could be recreated
"I will save you when your lights go out" | Scott is giving him time which continues to live being his breath, Scott’s love for him keeps him alive and that act of love is letting Jimmy kill him for time, saving him when he needs it most
This song is so so Scott coded most if not all the lyrics fit his perspective of things, the song is associated with Jimmy mainly because he is the Canary in the coal mine which sure fair enough but the lyrics themselves don’t fit his personality or his view of things, I guess some things could refer to how the winners and others have left him behind and he is weighed down by the curse but nothing else really fits him. 
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Misery Meat by Sodikken
"You want a taste of my brain? Okay, it's yours anyway, A bite of my eye alright I won't put up a fight" | Scott giving his time away and hearts away for other people with little complaint
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This is going to be part 1, and I will reblog this later with part two
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