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ateezmakemeweep · 4 years

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first time with bf!yunho

word count: 3k

fluff, smut

request

you experienced many firsts with yunho. whether they were innocent or devastating or just plain horrific, he had been by your side for every one.

like on your first day of school when you both stood side by side during line-up, holding back tears as your moms waved goodbye to you. he had towered over you even then, wiping the wetness from his eyes and waving shyly at you.

his quiet, shaky “hi,” made your body cave in on itself, nervous and uncomfortable in the new environment but waving at him nonetheless. because even at five-years-old, you found his presence comforting.

and by the time lunch came around, the two of you were inseparable, sharing crackers and blocks before running out to your moms at three o’clock hand-in-hand.

or your first broken bone that was just two years later, when there was a boy in your class known to bully all of the girls. it’s like he got some sick sort of pleasure from pulling their hair and hearing their cries, hurting almost every female student that was his age.

and on that particular day at recess, you were his target. during a fun game of tag when, with you hot on his tail and about to whack his back, he stuck out his foot and caused you to flop right onto the concrete. the skin had been ripped and oozing blood, your arm hanging in a way that still haunts yunho to this day.

but he signed his name the biggest on your cast, circling the sloppy writing with a heart and designating himself your personal bodyguard during lunch and recess. (and then he confessed to you years later that he gave his first bloody nose to the idiotic boy who tripped you).

your first period was probably the most embarrassing first with yunho, just given the fact that you both were awkward preteens sitting next to a puddle of menstrual blood. because one second you guys were playing video games on his bed and the next, a weird, wet feeling creeped down your leg causing you to jump up and scream.

yunho had laughed at first, celebrating the fact that he had won before his face quickly paled when he looked down at his bed and then your horrified expression.

“y/n, it’s okay,” he had said immediately, comforting you in a way you don’t think any other 12-year-old boy would’ve. but at the time, you could only stand there with your face flaming in embarrassment, tears brimming your eyes.

and when he was about to tell you that he was gonna get his mom and that everything was gonna be okay, you ran out of his house before he could say anything. you cried into your pillow that night and convinced yourself he was gonna hate you, think that you were a gross and disgusting weirdo for the rest of his life.

but then the next day, he had showed up at your house with a chocolate bar and a heated blanket (the same heated blanket you still have to this day). “i heard girls like chocolate when they’re on there...well, yeah you know,” he had laughed out awkwardly, “and this heated blanket is supposed to help, like with the pain or something.”

he had showcased it proudly, his excited smile causing the humiliation inside you to lessen. and then after he demanded a rematch of the game so casually, insisting he didn’t feel right about winning in unfair circumstances, you knew you were gonna have nothing to worry about when it came to him.

your first kiss with yunho was merely practice for both of you. or at least that was the story you had went with. because as the two of you sat in your basement, a slew of comedy movies and snacks taking up your friday night, you’d begun to talk about all the new budding romances in your friend groups.

“she said he french kissed her,” you told yunho, his face pinching into one of disgust.

“is that when you stick your tongue down someone’s throat?”

“i think so, yeah,” you sighed out, shrugging your shoulders as you look back at the television. “they’re french kissing and i haven’t even done normal kissing.”

and after he had confessed he hadn’t done normal kissing either, you both looked at one another before deciding that...

“what if we were each others first kiss?” he said with a smile. “that way we get it over with and if it’s bad, it doesn’t matter because we’re friends.”

you thought about it for a moment, looking at the boy with floppy brown hair and pink cheeks and deciding there were far worse people to have a first kiss with.

it was as awkward and clumsy as most first kisses were, your noses bumping the first time and causing you both to giggle. “i’ll go this way,” you told him, turning your neck way further than necessary and closing your eyes. but it brought success, you suppose, because then your dry lips brushed for a few seconds.

the placement was a bit miscalculated and you were both fairly stiff but the feeling and excitement of it all still made you pull back innocently, wide eyes staring at one another.

your hand then slapped over your mouth as his face morphed into one of utter shock. “was that...did we do it right?”

and even though you were unsure at the time, your racing hearts and clammy hands were an indication that, while you’d done it poorly, you had done it right.

“i think so,” he said, completely baffled by the fact that someone would be able to somehow stick their tongue up in there.

“oh...cool.”

your first heartbreak was when you realized just how much you’ve come to need yunho. because the second he walked through the doors of the funeral parlor, you were hit with an immediate sense of comfort and relief.

he took you outside when you told him you hadn’t been able to look up from your feet, the presence of the casket in front of the room far too much for you to handle. he sat with you on the stoop in the cold air, his arm around you as you cried into him and felt incredibly grateful that he didn’t try to speak to you.

he didn’t ask if you were okay or tell you your grandma was in a better place or beg for you to stop crying. he just held you and stayed beside you the whole time, his lips pressing against your forehead when you finally had the strength to get up.

and then he guided you inside by the small of your back, rubbing the black material of your dress gently before letting you say your goodbyes. and after you did, you sat back down with him and didn’t leave his shoulder for the rest of the night.

“i don’t know what i’d do without you sometimes,” you whispered tearfully. he took your face in his large hands, dabbing at the tears on your cheeks.

“me either,” he mumbles lowly, soft eyes looking right at you before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. he had thought you’d only said that because you were vulnerable, leaning on him as a friend and finding solace in the way he comforted you in your time of need.

but then a few short weeks later, he became your first boyfriend. everything had stemmed from a silly question of truth or dare that night, the inevitable “did you ever have a crush on anyone in this room?” being uttered.

and in the same way it was discovered your friend and yunho’s friend had liked each other for a few years, the tall boy shyly admitted he had once liked you. your eyebrows shot up in surprise, secretly harboring feelings for the boy for half your life but being too scared to ruin the friendship.

but all your friends had just rolled their eyes and clapped mockingly, grumbles of “shocker” and “everyone knew that” before moving on to the next question. so you didn’t get to talk with him until after everyone went home, always being the last to stay at yunho’s and hang out for a little bit of extra time.

“so when did you like me?” you asked teasingly, leaning in to raise your eyebrows playfully.

a strangled chuckle leaves his mouth as he lightly pushes you to the side, the pink flush on his cheeks causing you to smile softly.

“i liked you, too, you know.”

his eyes widen at your confession, the smile lighting up his face causing something warm and fluttery to shoot through your chest. “really? when?”

“hmm,” you mumble, trying to pinpoint the exact time you even realized your feelings for him; it always just felt like they were there from the second you met him, realizing how special and sweet he was. but you suppose you really started to realize “maybe during the time my grandma passed away. like i always knew i needed you but that kind of made it really obvious.”

yunho nods his head, remembering that time incredibly well. he had always felt like he was taking advantage of your emotional state, allowing himself to be there for you in the way he always knew he wanted to because you needed him.

“same,” he says honestly, “maybe even before that though, honestly. it feels like it’s been forever.”

a small giggle leaves your mouth as you nod, laying down to rest your head on his lap. he doesn’t even bat an eye as he looks down at you, smiling up at him and feeling his hands in your hair.

a few moments of silence pass, his eyes looking into yours like he wants so badly to tell you something but hesitance and anxiety and the fear of vulnerability are holding him back. “can i tell you something?” he eventually mumbled lowly.

you nod against his lap, looking up at him with wide eyes that are inevitably what made him crack.

“i...still might like you,” he says lowly, the pink spreading on his cheek only further heightening how pure and juvenile the confession is. “but if you don’t feel the same, we can act like this never happened. i just might be-”

“i like you too,” you tell him, straight-forward and confident because you’ve been waiting for this moment for so long.

you laugh when he acts completely shocked, his eyes wide and repetitive “really?” throughout the rest of the night and your constant assurance that yes, you really really like him making him smile proudly.

you spent the night the way you always did with him, giggling and teasing with your head on his shoulder or his hand in yours. and then at the end of the night, he asked you to be his girlfriend with that cute pinkness on his cheeks.

the same pinkness on his cheeks there now, five months later, as you two fumble on his bed together. all open mouthed kisses as you straddle him, the familiar feeling of his hardness underneath you, your moans swallowed by him as his large hands kneads at your ass.

bringing in the sexual component of your relationship had been surprisingly easy, hugs and hand-holding exchanged for kissing and lapping tongues. but that’s as far as it got, making out and grinding, because you guys were almost always interrupted whether it be by ringing phones or nosy adults.

but tonight, yunho’s parents were out of town and the air was growing thicker in his room, your hips grinding down on him as you rub against him and let out a tiny moan.

“y/n,” he groaned out, “please be careful, love.” because between the feel of you on him and the sound your moans, he felt himself losing it.

“why?” you hum quietly, disconnecting your lips to trail them down his neck. “don’t you wanna?”

his large, strong hands pull you off of him and onto your back. his figure looms above you, his arms holding himself up as his heated gaze looks down at you.

“of course i do,” he says, his finger tracing your red, puffy lips. “but are you ready? i don’t want you to feel like we have to just because the house is-”

“i want to, yunho,” you whine, arching your back as you feel that wet, needy feeling growing within you. “i want you. i’ve wanted you for months.”

he swallows the lump in his throat, overwhelmed by the sight of you flushed and withering underneath him. because he wants you too, has wanted you so for long and can’t even believe it’s actually about to happen.

but he also needs making sure you really want too, that you’re not just seeing this as an opportunity to not be interrupted and-

“stop thinking,” you whine to him, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him down. “i’m ready, i promise.”��and it’s with those words that he looks at you, squinting his eyes to triple check before smiling when you poke his cheek.

and that’s how your first time with yunho starts, gentle kisses and soft touches as he slides down your leggings and underwear. the cold air hits your skin and you let out a shaky breath, tugging at the bottom of his shirt and biting your lip when he exposes his broad shoulders.

“what?” he asks shyly, like he has anything to be insecure or embarrassed about.

but you only answer by discarding your own shirt and pulling his pants down, pushing him on his back and taking his cock in your hand. it’s just as big as you expected from feeling it underneath you and grinding your core against it.

you hum in excitement, looking up at him as your tongue swirls around the tip. “baby,” he croaks out, your mouth pulling into a smirk before taking him in fully. you listen to the sounds of his loud groans and pants, his hand fisting your hair and hips just barely bucking into your mouth.

you gag when his large length hits the back of your throat, a strangled apology leaving his mouth that only makes you bob your head faster. you lick and suck and twirl your tongue skillfully, thinking about all the times you wanted his cock in your mouth before you got interrupted.

and the eagerness seems to be too much for him, because you feel his legs tense and hips buck again before pulling your head back slightly by your hair.

“y/n, that feels so fucking good,” he grunts out, “but i wanna come in you, baby, please.”

and you want that too so you nod your head sweetly, wiping at your wet mouth and then squealing when your pushed onto back.

“but first, let me play,” he mumbled lowly in your ear, your eyes widening when his large hands and long fingers snake down your stomach and over your slit. the wetness makes him smirk, placing a kiss on your neck as he places his finger on your clit.

the next few moments are bliss, your legs shaking and spread as you begin to pant and whine under him. your breathy moans of “oh my god” only seem to spur him on, toying at your clit and making even more wetness gather at your thighs.

“you’re being so good, baby,” he grunts out, “such a good, wet girl for me.”

and like it’s a reward, his finger slides into you and you a loud moan escapes your mouth. they only grow louder and longer as you become consumed by pleasure, his fingers pumping in and out of you as his thumb frantically rubs over your clit.

“yunho, please, oh, my fucking go- i’m gonna-”

he feels you clench around his fingers and thinks twice about allowing you to come until he sees your head arch back, fingers grabbing at the sheets as your loud moans and screeches fill the room.

he watches your chest heave up and down, his cock hardening to the point of pain at the sight of you boneless under him. but then your head pops up, face flushed and hair messy, and you lazily smile at him.

“you’re good at that.”

the statement makes him chuckle and kiss you sweetly, his hand running through your hair to pat the sweaty strands down slightly. “are you ready or do you wanna-”

and even in your daze, you roll your eyes and pull him down to deep your kiss. the feel of his cock brushing against your thigh causes excitement to stir between your legs, your hips bucking up as a smirk crosses his lips.

“didn’t know you’d be so eager,” he says, reaching down to trail the tip of his cock across your clit.

“didn’t know you’d be so good,” you counter back. and he only smirks down at you again before taking your cheek in his hand, moving your head so you can look right at him.

“i don’t wanna hurt you,” he says softly, his finger brushing against your warm skin.

“and you won’t,” you say, putting all your trust in him. because you think even if he tried, he wouldn’t hurt you. he would never allow himself too.

but it doesn’t lessen his fears, licking at his lips anxiously before he nods his head. “i’ll be slow. try not to tense, okay?” and slow he was, inching himself in further and further as you do your best to remain relaxed on his bed.

because while the feeling isn’t awful, there is a slight sting that makes you bite the inside of your cheek. but then you feel full and stretched and let out a sigh of relief as yunho rubs at your hip soothingly.

“you okay?” you nod your head at him, all wide-eyed and glossy, and he didn’t think he’d have to stop himself from slamming into you.

“move,” you encourage softly, “i’m okay. i promise.”

the first few stinging thrusts are quickly replaced by something pleasurable, if your whines of “more” and his deep grunts weren’t an indication. and then once he finds his steady thrusts, it’s like everything both has just started and ends.

your legs spread wider as you claw at the back of his hair, watching his broad shoulders above you as he pushes himself in and out of you. he grunts out “i love you” just as he hits a spot deep within you that causes you to see stars, your own whiney, breathy love confession filling the room.

you come when his finger goes back to your clit and rubs along it, the sound you yelping his name causing him to release inside you. and if you weren’t so dazed by two orgasms, the sound of his heavy breathing would absolutely have you prepared to go for another round.

but you can only lay there with your eyes closed, wincing when his large length pulls out of you and he drops a kiss on your hip. he cleans between your legs with the shirt on his floor, dapping at the wetness gently as his eyes roam over your body.

“are you okay?” he asks, voice gentle and sweet as he lays back down next to you. your eyes pop open to see him looking at you softly, a smile spreading on your face as you nod your head.

“good,” he says, placing a kiss on your cheek that causes you to giggle. you move over and bury your face in his broad chest, smiling when you feel him drop another kiss on the top of your head.

you spend the rest of the night wrapped in one another, alternating between snacks and movies and more sex. he laughs as you clumsily climb on top of him and try to ride him, lasting for all about ten seconds before the burn of the unfamiliar position has you accepting defeat.

“you know, it’d be a lot easier if your cock wasn’t ginormous,” you grumble, a loud laugh leaving the boy and it was the first time you’ve seen yunho’s face turn that bright a shade of red.

#yunho #yunho smut #yunho fluff #ateez #ateez smut #ateez fluff #request

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pride-and-paperback · 2 years

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I have serious trust issues now...

RATE: ⭐⭐⭐⭐/5

So... I binged through this because the very first page had me hooked. The book, while showing the clear distinctions and the roles played by the human and the faerie worlds - also portrayed a beautiful yet a horrific blend of both as well.

The best - and worst - of both worlds if you will.

We have Abriella Kincaid, the main protagonist of this book and a talented yet orphaned thief in debt, whose only joy in life was her bubbly younger sister Jasalyn - and Sebastian, the handsome mage apprentice next door. The beginning of the plot gave off major Cinderella vibes as Brie spent most of her days scrubbing away moldy old floors and being at the beck and call of her spoiled cousins - and the worst of all, her own aunt being her debtor.

When the sisters fell short in their payment this time, Jas was sold to the faerie slave traders. As a slave to the Unseelie king, the most vicious and evil ruler known to both Fae and humans alike. In order to save her sister, Brie makes a deal with the unseelie king to steal magical relics from the Seelie court while pretending to be a bride candidate for the Seelie prince, Ronan.

I highly suggest that you finish the book before reading further ahead cause it'll contain major spoilers and I can't exactly talk about the book without mentioning crucial details - so you have been warned.

THE PARTS THAT PUT ME OFF:

(please remember that these are my own personal thoughts and opinions and you don't have to agree with them in any way)

First and foremost, my heart truly went out for Brie... I've never been so truly heartbroken with any other character to such an extent - damn it, not even towards Feyre and Aelin, even with all the shit they went through.

But to be manipulated around every frickin' corner of the plot?! I'm sorry, but that part was just too much for me. Legit everyone - EVERYONE - was fooling her and using her and keeping her in the dark about everything.

Which is kind of ironic since the Dark is literally her power.

No one was who they said they were. Betrayal upon betrayal. Secrets upon secrets. Trust broken, hope crushed, heart clinching in pain over and over again. When you learn the reason behind them, even though the actions were taken out of love - all it did was hurt. Honestly, the only thing that I wanted to do while reading this, was reach in and just whisk Brie and Jas away to a paradise-like realm, where they could just feel and be happy.

Secondly, I felt for Brie because the poor soul thought she was the worst possible scum to ever exist since she was lying to and fooling Sebastian, and that she didn't deserve him because "oh but he's so good to me" and "oh he loves and cares for me so much despite my flaws" and "oh but he's putting so much efforts into finding my sister"...

I felt empathetic towards her despicable circumstances but on the other hand, I felt so frustrated as well. Like, girl. The moment you found out your 2-year long crush was a Fae prince, you should have been suspicious of everything he did as a human. The whole situation was so fishy and it should have been the first red flag - the second being when he saved you from the Barghest without you telling him where you were, the third being when he left in the middle of a make-out to bed another woman, the fourth being when his 'bestfriend' drugged you and basically pushed to force yourself into a lethal bond against your will, the fifth being when he embraced you even after you sent his mother to her potential death. SO MANY RED FLAGS! Is this a female thing or a human thing where you can't move away from the first person you claimed to be your safe place and you still desperately stick to them in spite of all the signs you see that scream at you to run away?

but then again, that's the beauty, I guess you could say? of being human. In some twisted aspect.

Thirdly, the plot for me, reflected back several ACOTAR elements - or maybe it was my own biased SJM filter, but I could definitely see parts of Feyre in Brie, of Tamlin in Ronan and Rhys in Finn, the very reason the female leads even entered Faerie was because of their family- and I ultimately couldn't shake it off, especially after reading the line :

"May you always have a star to wish on, Abriella, and a reason to believe."

You can't tell me it doesn't resonate with "To the people who look at the stars and wish, Rhys."

And maybe it's because of this filter, that I'm still looking forward to a redeeming arc for Finn despite being a manipulative turd-face himself. People like Sebastian have VIP seats reserved in hell after all the stunts he pulled, I won't be sorry for saying that. And if you come at me saying "oh but they were both doing it for the greater good of their kingdoms" - what a load of crap.

They both should have been open with Brie from the start, proved their good-ill and acted well on the trust she placed in them - and most importantly, they should have let her made the choices, since it was her power and her life at stake. Instead, what they did was put up facades and use her for the shit excuse of "the greater good".

THE PARTS I ABSOLUTELY LOVED:

Firstly, THE ENDING PLOT-TWIST! This one I will not spoil because despite my comparatively good hunches, I so did not see that coming. Though I hate the fact that the book ended on a system-wracking cliffhanger just RIGHT after, the plot twist was the one of the best ones so far. It's been two days since I finished the book, but the end still has me reeling.

Secondly, the world building was absolutely *chef's kiss* delightful. It was easy to navigate through and understand the workings of both the worlds. Same goes for the prose and diction followed by Lexi Ryan, the words and phrases were simple and none too complicated - smooth flowing and effortless fuel to feed the imaginative engine in order to paint the best of pictures in your head.

Thirdly, the various shades of desperation shown through each character. From baby Fawn to Mordeus and everyone in between - the essence of all their actions, as I noticed and thoroughly enjoyed, sprouted from desperation. Although portrayed in various degrees through different characters, and while the end goal they wanted to achieve differed accordingly - the foundational emotion remained the same. You'll understand once you get through the entire plot.

Overall, it was an immensely overwhelming but captivating read and I would definitely recommend it! 👍

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angelrider13 · 3 years

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A Sea of Lotus Flowers: Leviathan Extra

I finally finished it!!!

So I meant to have this up before the holidays were over - obviously that didn’t happen - and then real life hit that crazy post-holiday rush and I didn’t have the spoons to finish this out, but it is done!!!!

Admittedly, I got a little carried away with this one. I started and was like ‘it’ll be a short oneshot, maybe ~2,000 words. Well here we are, 12,482 words later.

This is a reply to @hamelin-born‘s reply to my post from a while back (I’m sorry it took so long!!!!) and I saw your post the other day about needing a pick me up, so I hope this makes your day better. Technically not canon in this verse - it’s 100% indulgent and I had fun with it and I guess it could be canon if you want it to be.

A little clunky in some places because I didn’t edit this and I kinda half-assed proofreading so forgive me any errors!!!

Lan Wangji resists the urge to step between Wei Ying and Jiang Wanyin as they argue. He’s come to understand that arguing is largely how these two communicate, but that does nothing to change the fact that his hand twitches toward his sword every time Jiang Wanyin says something biting or Wei Ying flinches.

He’s been lectured by multiple people, both subtly and blatantly, that their relationship has nothing to do with him. As a third party, it is not his right to interfere. He may advise and support, but he has no say in whether or not the relationship exists. He is, contrary to what these people lecturing him seem to think, aware of this. If Wei Ying wishes to have a relationship with the man he still considers his brother, then who is Lan Wangji to stop him?

He would never.

That doesn’t mean he’s going to allow Wei Ying to face the man alone.

Despite Wei Ying’s many assurances, he does not trust Jiang Wanyin with Wei Ying. Jiang Wanyin cast him aside before, hurt him before, and Lan Wangji has seen no evidence that he would not be willing to do so again.

So he watches.

It helps that their reason for being here this time is the Discussion Conference. It means they are less likely to be thrown into the lake – though he knows that such a small reason will not even register to Madame Jiang. Still, it means that Jiang Wanyin doesn’t have the authority to throw him out should something happen. As much as he detests political maneuvering, he will concede that sometimes it has its uses.

Wei Ying is punching Jiang Wanyin’s arm as he laughs. Lan Wangji can’t stop his twitch when Jiang Wanyin shoves him in turn, scowling as he opens his mouth to say something Lan Wangji is sure he will disagree with on principle when the Sect Leader’s eyes catch on something over Wei Ying’s shoulder. His face shades through confusion to alarm to horror in the span of a second before he’s shoving past them.

Wei Ying blinks, turning after him, “Hey, Jiang Chen – ”

But he cuts off, eyes widening as he sucks in a sharp breath and Lan Wangji turns just in time to see Lan Yun shoving a glowing array against Madame Jiang’s chest.

There’s a single moment where everything is completely still.

And then Madame Jiang drops like a stone.

The world explodes into motion.

Jaing Wanyin is screaming, Lan Yun looks stunned, and Madame Jiang is so horrifically still where she lays collapsed in a heap on the ground.

“What did you do?!” Jiang Wanyin roars as Jiang disciples converge on Lan Yun.

“I – I didn’t – it wasn’t – ” Lan Yun stutters out as his arms are grabbed and his swords taken. “It wasn’t supposed to do that!”

“And what was it supposed to do?” Sect Leader Jiang grits out.

“It was just supposed to reveal the truth!” Lan Yun blurts out when the disciples holding him wrench his arms back, violent glints in their eyes and mouths pressed into grim lines.

“The truth?! What about this looks like the fucking truth to you?!” Jiang Wanyin yells, Zidian sparking furiously up his entire arm.

He looks like he could go on, but Madame Jiang’s body suddenly twitches before it starts convulsing.

Lan Wangji only has a second to register the building energy before he’s moving, intercepting Wei Ying from running towards his brother and wrapping his husband up in his arms just as the energy explodes outwards in a wave that nearly bowls him over. He manages to turn so that his body is shielding Wei Ying’s, but there is nothing he can do but ride the wave out. He’s distantly aware of Wei Ying screaming his name, but he just tightens his hold.

The energy is vast. Deeper and richer and far, far larger than any reserve of energy – spiritual or demonic – Lan Wangji has ever felt. It is as if someone cracked open an egg and an entire ocean spilled out, flooding the entirety of Lotus Pier in a matter of seconds and drowning all of them under the sheer weight of its might.

Just when Lan Wangji thinks he can endure no more, he feels the wave of energy pull back, condensing inwards and shooting towards the sky. The crushing pressure on his lungs releases and he drags in a ragged breath, Wei Ying gasping in his arms.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying breathes, hands frantic as they check him over, “Are you alright?”

“Fine.”

Wei Ying huffs at him. “Don’t do that, Lan Zhan. I’m fine, you know! But what was that? What –?”

Lan Wangji watches as all the color drains from his husband’s face and his voice comes to a strangled halt. Worried, he follows Wei Ying’s gaze. And promptly feels his heart drop into his stomach. Lan Wangji is well aware that he has seen many impossible things in his lifetime, even for a cultivator. At this point, such a thing is not unexpected.

That does not mean he is in any way, shape, or form prepared to be facing a dragon suddenly in the center of Lotus Pier.

Its body is long and sleek, scales a deep, rippling blue, with fins and spines flaring out around it’s towering form. Molten gold eyes stare down at them – eyes that Lan Wangji has seen hundreds of times before today, eyes that he has never thought twice about meeting, eyes so familiar they make his heart move up to his mouth.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying whispers, “You see it too right? You see the dragon?”

“Mn,” he manages, throat too tight for anything else.

“Oh, okay then,” Wei Ying wheezes faintly, “Does this mean I’m not crazy? Or are you also crazy? And I just want it on record that this is absolutely not my fault.”

“You dare?” Madame Jiang breathes out, voice a deep, rumbling growl, revealing rows of razor sharp teeth as her burning gaze finds Lan Yun below her.

The man is paler than Lan Wangji has ever seen him. He hadn’t known it was possible for a living person to be that color. But Lan Wangji cannot find it in himself to feel any remorse for him – not even pity. A senior disciple of the Lan should know better.

“You idiotic little fool,” she snarls, fury practically dripping from her voice even though she’s holding herself oddly still, “Were I any less than I am, you would have killed every person here. All of Lotus Pier, every cultivator here for the conference, every civilian in town. Every. Single. Person. All those lives. And for what? So you could win an argument?”

Lan Yun seems incapable of speech, mouth flapping uselessly, before he seems to give up, collapsing into the arms of the Jiang disciples that are still restraining him despite the wave of energy that had been crushing them only moments before.

Madame Jiang sneers, disgust obvious. “I don’t expect any better from you Lan at this point, but this?”

She throws her head back in distain and Lan Wangji can’t even summon the usual offence that her open contempt of his sect would bring. Not when a member of said sect just tried to kill her within her own home – or not kill, so much as…reveal, he thinks, Lan Yun’s words echoing in his head.

It was just supposed to reveal the truth!

Lan Wangji looks up at the dragon towering above them and suddenly feels so very small.

“Hairong?”

He turns to see Sect Leader Jiang looking up at the dragon, concerned, but not surprised. In fact, none of the Jiang disciples seem surprised. Shaken, perhaps, but not shocked by this turn of events. Did she tell them? Did the Jiang Sect know that they were harboring a dragon this entire time? It would explain their deference to her despite her disrespectful behavior. Though, if this is in fact Madame Jiang’s true form, then perhaps it was not really disrespect at all. Lan Wangji cannot imagine having the gall to demand a dragon of all beings bow to him just because propriety dictated it.

Madame Jiang shifts to look down at them. “Little Lotus,” she replies, her voice gentling, “This is unexpected, but not…unwelcome, despite the circumstances. It has been a very long time since I wore my scales.”

Jiang Wanyin’s eyes narrow. “Can you change back?”

There’s a pause as Madame Jiang seems to consider this, head tilting to the side. “No,” she says after a moment, “I am as trapped in this form as I was in the other.”

Jiang Wanyin scowls, turning back to the disciples holding Lan Yun, who appears to have passed out. “Find out what he did,” he orders, “Figure out how to reverse it.”

The disciples bow as best they can while holding an unconscious person between them before dragging him off. Lan Wangji makes no move to stop them. None of the Lan do, not even Uncle.

“In the meantime,” Madame Jiang drawls, “I’m certain that the Lan will be more than happy to pay for the damages Lotus Pier has incurred from this little incident.”

Ah, Lan Wangji thinks as he follows the length of her body and sees the broken buildings, buckling under the sudden weight of an entire dragon atop them.

“And, of course,” she continues, “There will be reparations for any injuries sustained as a result of the Lan’s carelessness.”

The implied or else is so heavy in her tone, it is like a physical weight.

“Oh, they will,” Sect Leader Jiang agrees darkly, glaring at any and all Lan cultivators within his line of sight.

“Da-jie doesn’t need to be here for that though, does she?” Sect Leader Nie suddenly cuts in, fan fluttering in front of his face. His eyes are shrewd despite the tentative levity in his tone. He has been acting the part of the useless headshaker less and less these days, but it’s still rather difficult to get anything of substance out of him. “She should go for a swim.”

Madame Jiang chuckles. “What a splendid idea, my little hunter. A swim sounds lovely,” she says. Rather than make to leave, however, she carefully folds in on herself so that she can lower her head without shifting her body. “Will you be terribly upset if I leave you to deal with the mess?”

Jiang Wanyin huffs, reaching up to place a hand against the line of her jaw, seemingly lowered for the sole purpose of being within the Sect Leader’s reach. As if the action of touching a dragon is something simple and easy and common. Though, Lan Wangji supposes, given the way Madame Jiang has a tendency to drape herself over people she likes, perhaps it really is that easy.

“I always deal with the mess,” Jiang Wanyin retorts.

“That’s not true,” Madame Jiang pouts. Pouts of all things, as if she is still a small, young woman with a delicate face rather than a towering being of legend. “Sometimes you never know there’s a mess to begin with.”

“That’s terrifying,” Sect Leader Jiang says flatly, “Go away.”

“Very well, little love,” she says, nudging him almost playfully with her muzzle, “I will be in the lake.”

She straightens up, fins flaring out as she delicately lifts herself. Wood splinters and glass shatters with every movement as her coils lift out of the rubble. Madame Jiang glides easily through the sky, circling over Lotus Pier. Lan Wangji can hear the exclamations from town, they are so loud. They have good reason to be. It’s not everyday that a dragon passes overhead.

They watch Madame Jiang fly over the lake. She circles for a moment, scales glinting in sunlight, before diving straight down. She cuts through the water easily, not a single wave displaced despite the large body entering it, the only sign of her passage an echoing ring of ripples.

Lan Wangji had never known silence could be so loud before.

“Well,” Sect Leader Nie cuts through it cheerfully, “Let’s get this sorted out, shall we?”

“Seclusion?!” Jiang Cheng asks incredulously, face thunderous.

Privately, Nie Huaisang agrees. The Lan seem to solve everything by shoving the problem in seclusion. Not that it ever seems to work. It seems to be an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ solution more than anything. If the Lan don’t have to see the problem, they can pretend it doesn’t exist.

“Lan Yun,” Jiang Cheng says with a forced calm, keeping eye contact with the idiot who had confidently announced Lan Yun’s punishment. Lan Qiren doesn’t seem inclined to save him, Nie Huaisang notes with amusement, “attacked a member of my sect, a member of my family, in the middle of our home and you think sticking him in seclusion to reflect on his mistakes is a just punishment?”

Well, it sounds stupid when you say it like that, Jiang Cheng.

“It is our way,” Elder Idiot says, apparently completely oblivious to the furious sect leader that is two seconds away from going straight for his throat.

“Hairong could have died!” Jiang Cheng snaps.

“And had she, the punishment would be much more severe,” is the reply, “But she did not. Therefore, seclusion will suffice.”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes narrow. “If Lan Yun ever shows his face in Yunmeng lands again, his life is mine. In the meantime, it seems the Jiang Sect needs to make some revisions to its trade agreements with the Lan. You’ve demonstrated a reduced need for Yunmeng goods. Does that suffice?”

Oh look, the elder is turning red. It’s always fun when someone manages to make a Lan lose their cool, Nie Huaisang muses, fanning himself. It makes things much more interesting.

“Enough,” Lan Qiren cuts in, “The exact details of Lan Yun’s punishment have yet to be decided by the elders of our sect and it will, of course, be pending Sect Leader Jiang’s approval.” He holds up a hand to stall the protests of his clan members. “As the Sect Leader of the one who was wronged, it is his right. Now, onto the matter of the damages.”

Trust Teacher Lan to steer things back on course without causing an explosion. Though usually, he is the one doing the exploding. Perhaps dealing with Da-jie and Wei-xiong has finally tempered him some? Nie Huaisang eyes the tension around the old man’s eyes, the grim set of his mouth, the tight line of his shoulders. Then again, perhaps not. Perhaps he is simply well aware that Jiang Cheng is not making idle threats. He really will cut off the Lan Sect if he feels it justified. And he has both the power and the means to do so without it hurting his own sect.

The Jiang Sect has always kept largely to themselves, even before Jiang Cheng became Sect Leader. The benefit of maintaining such a stance is that most people tend to leave you to yourselves and, as a result, stop paying attention to you. From a purely technical stand point, Nie Huaisang would consider the Jiang Sect the most powerful sect – even among the Great Sects. The only reason they aren’t considered as such by the world at large is because of the above-mentioned isolation stance. The last time the Jiang Sect was publicly entrenched in politics was the Sunshot Campaign and the period of rebuilding that followed. As soon as the disaster that was the battle at the Nightless City happened, the Jiang Sect had all but withdrawn from the cultivation world. If it weren’t for little Jin Ling being a Jin and therefore outside of the Jiang Sect’s jurisdiction, Nie Huaisang is willing to bet that Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have even shown up to the Discussion Conferences all Sect Leaders were expected to attend, or in the rare cases they were unable to, send a representative. Before Da-jie showed up, Nie Huaisang wouldn’t have been surprised if Jiang Cheng had one day decided to never step outside of Yunmeng again. The cultivation world hadn’t given him much reason to want to.

Now, though, he has reasons to want things.

And Lan Qiren knows it to.

Most of the Lan may be content to think themselves above the petty politics of the cultivation world, but Lan Qiren can’t afford to. He was the unofficial Sect Leader Lan for decades after his brother’s seclusion and he has once again been unofficially thrust into the position. Lan Wangji may help, but most of his attention these days goes to either Wei-xiong or his duties as Chief Cultivator and with Er-ge – with Lan Xichen still in seclusion, Lan Qiren must once again contend with sect politics.

Nie Huaisang isn’t sure how aware Teacher Lan is of Jiang Cheng’s power as a sect (There are, after all, many an incident with Jiang Cheng’s children that prove just how very many people don’t pay attention to the Jiang Sect even though they really should.) but he knows that the old man is shrewd enough to realize that favoring his own clan in this will hurt them more in the long run. Better to suffer a blow to your pride now than to lose it all later.

What follows is an intense round of haggling that he and most of the other Sect Leaders in the room are only witnesses to. The conflict is between the Lan and the Jiang after all – minor sects would have no say regardless and the Jin and the Nie are officially uninvolved. (Everyone knows that the new Sect Leader Jin will side with his uncle. If anyone is actually paying attention, they’ll know the Nie will side with him too. Nie Huaisang has never taken threats to his older siblings well.) The list of damages is impressive both because of how much it is – Nie Huaisang doubts Lotus Pier has been in such a state since the Sunshot Campaign, something that is likely making Jiang Cheng twitchy – and because of how little it is – Nie Huaisang saw how big Da-jie was and he might not be a great cultivator, but even his little spark of ability allowed him to feel the veritable flood of power that is now living under his Da-jie’s skin.

A budget is set and a contract is drawn up and signed, before the meeting is dismissed. Nie Huaisang finds himself walking with Jiang Cheng, Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng’s head disciple, Xia Lian, trailing behind them.

“So who won the bet?” he asks, glorying in the way Jiang Cheng sighs the sigh of a man who suffers far too many fools. Xia Lian snorts and Jin Ling almost manages to stifle his laugh in time.

“Huaisang,” he warns, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“A-Cheng,” he returns with a smile.

“A-Sang,” Jiang Cheng glares at him.

Nie Huaisang pokes him in the side. “Come on, tell me, tell me! Who won the bet?”

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. “Guess.”

“Grandma Ming,” Jin Ling says immediately.

“We’re still checking the books,” Xia Lian says with an easy shrug, a wicked grin tugging at her lips. The way it pulls at the scar across her face is really quite fetching. He’ll have to ask her to let him paint it later. “But Grandma Ming is a pretty good guess.”

“Grandma Ming always knows,” he muses.

Jiang Cheng scoffs and rolls his eyes again, but there’s a smile tugging at his lips as he stalks off to undoubtedly check on his people, so Nie Huaisang will call it a win.

“Young Mistress!”

Jin Ling immediately feels a stab of annoyance.

Ouyang Zizhen chuckles next to him as he raises a hand in greeting. “Lan Jingyi! Lan Sizhui!”

Lan Sizhui smiles at them as they draw near, falling into a proper bow. “Sect Leader Jin,” he greets.

Oh. No. Nope. Absolutely not.

“Never call me that again,” he snaps, pushing the older boy up from his bow.

Lan Jingyi snorts. “He prefers ‘Young Mistress.’”

“I prefer my name, you absolute disaster of a person,” Jin Ling shoots back.

Lan Sizhui’s smile somehow becomes warmer without his expression shifting at all. “Jin Ling,” he corrects.

“How are you?” Ouyang Zizhen asks, “Neither of you showed up with the rest of the Lan for the conference. Did something happen?”

“Nothing serious,” Lan Sizhui reassures, “We were on a night hunt that ran long. A restless ghost. He wasn’t…malicious, but he very much did not want to rest.”

Lan Sizhui’s slightly strained expression implies that the night hunt was more complicated than that and did not even slightly go according to plan.

“Forget the night hunt,” Lan Jingyi cuts in before Jin Ling can ask, practically vibrating out of his skin, “Are the rumors true?!”

Ouyang Zizhen blinks, head tilting to the side. “Rumors?”

“Gossip is forbidden,” Lan Sizhui sighs in such a way that implies he has said this many times in the last few days.

“Little Mother says that all rumors are based on something. The important part is checking your facts,” Lan Jingyi immediately retorts. “This is me checking my facts.” He grabs Jin Ling by the shoulders. “Is your aunt a dragon?”

“Oh that,” he says as blandly as he can manage.

Lan Jingyi starts shaking him. “Oh that? Oh that? Explain, you stingy – ”

“Jingyi,” Lan Sizhui admonishes.

Lan Jingyi obligingly stops shaking him but his glare does not diminish in the slightest.

“She’s in the lake,” Jin Ling offers after a long moment of aggressive staring, “We can go visit her if you like.”

Lan Jingyi makes an embarrassingly high pitch sound in the back of his throat, even as Jin Ling starts nudging him in the right direction. “Oh my god, your aunt is a dragon!”

“How did that happen?” Lan Sizhui asks, eyes wide as he moves to follow them.

Ah. Hm. Right. Is there a polite way to say that one of your sect members tried to kill your aunt?

Ouyang Zizhen makes an awkward sound that might have been a laugh in a different situation. “Are either of you particularly attached to Lan Yun?”

Jin Ling snorts. Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui exchange bewildered looks.

“No?” Lan Sizhui offers after a moment. “He’s not in our generation so we’re not really familiar with him.”

“Oh good,” Ouyang Zizhen says brightly.

“What did he do?” Lan Jingyi asks eagerly, leaning forward.

Jin Ling crosses his arms. “He attacked Jiuma in the middle of Lotus Pier,” he says flatly.

He watches the Lans’ mouths drop open in shock and Ouyang Zizhen immediately launches into the story. He’s good with words and makes it sound like an adventure rather than the heart stopping moment it really was. Jin Ling pointedly doesn’t think about the way his aunt looked when she collapsed, limbs splayed awkwardly where they fell and oh so frightfully still. Lan Jingyi is hanging on every word, gasping at all the appropriate parts which only seems to egg Ouyang Zichen on. Lan Sizhui, on the other hand, looks concerned. There is a furrow between his brows and a frown tugging at his lips.

“What happened after?” he asks, “Is everyone alright?”

“There were a few injuries, but nothing too serious,” Jin Ling answers, “Most of it was property damage.”

“And your aunt turning into a dragon,” Lan Jingyi adds.

“And Jiuma turning into a dragon,” he agrees.

“She’s always been one though,” Ouyang Zizhen points out, “She just had a different shape before.”

“About that,” Lan Jingyi says, “Can’t she just change back?”

“Nope,” Jin Ling answers, “She says she’s stuck.”

“Do you know what array was used?” Lan Sizhui asks.

He shakes his head. “Only that it had some sort of truth element to it. Lan Yun claimed it was to ‘reveal the truth’ whatever that means. Senior Wei has been working on reversing it for the past few days and he says it’s not that straight forward.”

“Well, if Senior Wei is working on it, I’m sure it’ll turn out fine,” Lan Jingyi says. Privately, Jin Ling isn’t convinced. But he does concede that if anyone can figure it out, it would be Senior Wei. “But what happened to Lan Yun? Sect Leader Jiang wouldn’t have taken any of this lying down.”

Jin Ling snorts. “Oh, he didn’t. Lan Yun’s currently in a cell with his spiritual powers sealed and his sword confiscated. Even he isn’t really sure what he did, so he hasn’t been much help in reversing it.”

“I thought for sure Sect Leader Jiang was going to gut the Lan Elder that suggested seclusion as punishment,” Ouyang Zizhen pipes in, because as heir of the Ouyang Sect, he had the pleasure of front row seats to the disaster that was that meeting.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jin Ling scoffs, “Jiujiu would never do that in the middle of a meeting.”

“But he would absolutely do it elsewhere,” Lan Jingyi drawls and Jin Ling doesn’t disagree, “Was anything actually decided or did everyone just shout at each other?”

“The Lan are paying for the damages,” Ouyang Zizhen answers, “They’re covering the cost of the materials and half of the labor costs.”

“Good,” Lan Sizhui says firmly, disapproval over this entire situation heavy in his voice, Lan Jingyi nodding his agreement. It makes something in Jin Ling uncoil. Not that he was worried either of his Lan friends would be upset over the backlash the Lan would likely face for this, but it was still nice to have the confirmation that neither of them agrees with the actions that were taken against his family.

“As for Lan Yun,” Ouyang Zizhen continues, “No official punishment has been decided yet, but it’s pending Sect Leader Jiang’s approval.”

“Well,” Lan Jingyi says after a beat, “It’s a good thing neither of us are particularly attached to him. We’ll be sure he gets a proper burial.”

“Jingyi,” Lan Sizhui tries to sound disapproving, but the slight upward tilt of his lips gives him away.

Soft laughter cuts through their conversation. Startled, they look up to see Sect Leader Nie grinning at them. They’re passing by the pavilion he’s been using to observe the lake. Jin Ling has seen his paintings of his aunt’s dragon form. They are very beautiful. Jin Ling has already extracted a promise from the sect leader for one of the paintings, he just has to decide which one.

“Jiang-xiong wouldn’t kill him,” Sect Leader Nie says with an amused smile.

“…I’m pretty sure he would?” Lan Jingyi says slowly. Lan Sizhui elbows him in the side and he adds, “Sect Leader Nie.”

Sect Leader Nie’s smile widens. “Oh, to be young and innocent,” he sighs fondly.

“Stop trying to be vague and mysterious, Nie-shushu,” Jin Ling says, crossing his arms, “It doesn’t make you look wise.”

“I’ve no idea what you mean, A-Ling,” he replies airily.

Jin Ling snorts. “What are you doing? Did you make another painting?”

“Mm. I just finished one. Would you like to see?”

Ouyang Zizhen’s eyes go wide and pleading. “Can we? Your paintings are so beautiful, Sect Leader Nie!”

Nie-shushu waves them in with his fan. “Don’t touch though. It’s still drying.”

“Sect Leader Nie has been painting Little Mother,” Ouyang Zizhen explains as they enter the pavilion, “They’re really quite lovely pieces.”

Jin Ling walks over to the table, ignoring the others that have been hung up in various spots. He’s seen them already. This new one has been done entirely in blue inks – a blue dragon dancing gracefully over a lake. The dragon is a darker blue, cutting through the water with an elegant ease. The lake seems to rise up to join in the dance, tendrils of water curling around the dragon’s form. It’s a scene that Jin Ling has seen often these past few days. It’s breathtaking.

“Nie-shushu, I want this one,” he whispers.

“Mmm? You’re certain? I might paint another one you like more,” Nie-shushu replies.

“I’m sure. I want this one.”

Nie-shushu smiles. “I’ll set it aside then.”

“Did this actually happen?” Lan Jingyi interrupts loudly.

Ouyang Zizhen is already nodding. “Every day,” he insists.

Jin Ling turns. They’re looking at the painting of Hairong sunning herself in the shallows of Lotus Cove. She’s taken to doing so every afternoon since this entire thing started. Pretty much all of the younger disciples and all the children in town have taken to swimming around her, climbing her coils and using her fins as slides. It’s fun and it makes Hairong laugh, though she isn’t above shifting suddenly to knock them into the water just because.

“Do Lans even know how to swim?” he asks dubiously, because he’s a little shit as his aunt fondly informs him, and he likes to tug at Lan Jingyi sleeves just as much as the older boy tugs at his.

Lan Jingyi puffs up in offence exactly the way he thought he would. “Of course we do!”

“Then you should join us!” Ouyang Zizhen says.

“Ah,” Lan Sizhui says, “Maybe not.”

Right. Lan Sizhui got boat sick.

“You could just sit with Jiuma,” he offers, “She keeps herself close to the shore and tells stories. Jiujiu meditates on her head sometimes.”

Lan Jingyi’s jaw dropped. “He does not.”

“Sometimes he even naps on her head,” Nie-shushu adds shamelessly, always ready and willing to embarrass Jiujiu at any given opportunity.

“You’re lying,” Lan Jingyi says as Ouyang Zizhen claps his hands over his mouth to hide his smile, “There is no way Sandu Shengshou takes naps in public.”

“I’m not very familiar with the Lan rules,” Nie-shushu says mildly, which is a lie if Jin Ling has ever heard one, “But I’m fairly certain that lying is forbidden.”

Lan Jingyi squints at him. “I’ll believe it when I see it,” he says, because apparently even he will not call a sect leader a lying liar who lies to their face when Lan Sizhui is standing right next to him. “Speaking of, no one has actually shown me a dragon yet and I demand proof.”

Nie-shushu blinks. “Proof?”

“Gossip is forbidden,” Lan Jingyi informs gravely, “So I have to find out for myself.”

“A sound policy,” Sect Leader Nie agrees, “She’s in the lake.”

“That’s what I said,” Jin Ling huffs.

“Best get on that, then,” he replies waving them towards the entrance of the pavilion, “You’re burning daylight.”

“Like she wouldn’t be around at night,” Jin Ling grumbles.

“Ah, but little Lans have bedtimes.”

“We do not!” Lan Jingyi protests.

“You kind of do,” Ouyang Zizhen says.

“Let’s just go down to the lake, shall we?” Lan Sizhui starts herding them out, “Apologies for disturbing you, Sect Leader Nie. Thank you for letting us look at your paintings. Zizhen was right – they are very beautiful.”

Nie-shushu just smiles. “Thank you, Young Master Lan.”

Jin Ling lets Lan Sizhui drag them out of the pavilion and down towards the water. Lan Jingyi is urging them on, anticipation bright across his expression. By the time they reach the docks, he’s all but bouncing in place.

“Where is she?” Lan Jingyi asks, looking out at the lake, “I see no dragon.”

Jin Ling rolls his eyes and kneels so he can dip his fingers into the water. “Jiuma?”

He can feel the confusion pouring off the Lans, but between one blink and the next, Hairong is raising out of the water. Instead of towering over them, only her head breaks the surface and she grins at them.

“Nephew,” she replies, taking in his companions, “Little storyteller. And little Lans too. Have you come to visit me?”

Since Lan Jingyi’s jaw seems to be somewhere around his ankles, Jin Ling answers for him. “Jingyi is fact checking.”

That seems to amuse her. “Oh?”

“Apparently there are rumors everywhere and since Lans don’t gossip, they’re here to see with their own eyes.”

She chuckles. “And what do your eyes tell you?”

“You’re a dragon!” Lan Jingyi suddenly erupts. “Why didn’t you tell us you were a dragon?!”

Her eyes are bright and Jin Ling can hear the laughter in her voice. “I never told you I wasn’t,” she says.

That’s true – Jiuma is always frustratingly vague. Jin Ling has never cared personally, but he’s overheard many people ask Hiarong who or what she is before and always, always, her reply is non-answer. She never confirms any guesses, but she never denies them either.

“Besides,” she continues, “You never asked.”

Lan Jingyi splutters.

“I apologize on behalf of the Lan Sect, Madame Jiang,” Lan Sizhui says, going into a perfect bow – one suited to the spouse of a sect leader rather than one for a legend. Jin Ling didn’t think it was possible, but apparently he can like Lan Sizhui more than he already does.

“I do not need, nor do I want, your apologies, little star,” she says, “The wrong was committed by one and they alone hold the blame. The only apology that is appropriate is one from him. Children should not shoulder the blame for the faults of their elders.”

Lan Sizhui looks conflicted, but he nods after Lan Jingyi tugs his sleeve and Ouyang Zizhen gives him a supportive smile.

Jin Ling isn’t sure how to make Lan Sizhui not feel guilty by association, but he can at least distract him. Jumping onto Jiuma’s head and demanding a story seems to do the trick, if Lan Jingyi’s shouting is anything to go by. But Hairong just laughs fondly, indulging them as they lay back against her scales.

He falls asleep under the afternoon sun surrounded by friends and his aunt’s voice.

Wei Wuxian sighs as he leaves the library, rubbing a hand over his face.

Over a week and he still hasn’t found a solution. He’s almost there – he can feel it. He’s got most of it figured it out. There’s just one element he can’t decipher. The array Lan Yun used shouldn’t have done what it did; at least that’s not how it was intended to be used. Which means there’s no actual transformation element in the array and therefore nothing for Wei Wuxian to reverse. If he can get past this one hurdle, he’s certain he can create an array that will fix this entire mess.

The problem is that he has no idea who to get past this hurdle.

Lan Zhan would tell him to step back and rest, to try again in the morning, but he has too much anxious energy in his system to sleep right now. If he tried to join Lan Zhan in bed now, he’d only disturb his husband and he doesn’t want that.

He’ll take a walk to clear his head. That should help.

“What are you still doing up?”

Wei Wuxian spins around. “Jiang Cheng!” he exclaims and then winces at his own volume.

Jiang Cheng scowls at him. “It’s late. What are you still doing up?” he repeats.

“Aaaaah, well you know me, Jiang Cheng,” he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, “I get sidetracked when I work on a project! I have too many ideas to sleep!”

“Are any of them good ideas?” Jiang Cheng asks, eyes boring into him.

He feels himself deflate. “No, sorry,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I keep getting stuck on the transformation aspect of the array. That’s not written into the original function, so I have no idea where it came from which means the only ways I have of reversing it are all guesswork at best and I don’t think any of us are comfortable risking everything on a guess we aren’t sure will even work.”

Fuck, he’s babbling.

“Anyway, what are you doing up?” he attempts to redirect, though from the flat look Jiang Cheng gives him, it doesn’t work.

“Can’t sleep,” Jiang Cheng admits easily.

Ah. Right. He imagines he’d have a hard time sleeping too without Lan Zhan in his bed after his husband had been attacked.

He places a comforting hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I’ll figure it out, Jiang Cheng, I promise,” he vows with all the sincerity he can muster.

Jiang Cheng just rolls his eyes though and knocks his hand aside and Wei Wuxian tires not to flinch. “That was never in question,” he says, and oh, he hadn’t realized that, that Jiang Cheng thought like that, that Jiang Cheng would put such faith in him, and it makes him ache in his chest for an entirely different reason.

“But you’re stuck, aren’t you?” his brother continues, snagging his sleeve and tugging him along, “Why haven’t you asked Hairong?”

Wei Wuxian blinks, caught off guard and lets Jiang Cheng drag him down to the docks. “Uh. No?” he admits, “She’s not a cultivator, so I hadn’t thought to…”

Jiang Cheng is giving him a flat look and Wei Wuxian kind of agrees with him now that he’s thinking about it. Hairong may not be a cultivator and may have no interest or ability to cultivate herself, but that doesn’t mean she’s clueless.

“When was the last time you slept?” Jiang Cheng asks bluntly.

“…two nights ago,” he admits. He’s pretty sure at least. Lan Zhan would never let him neglect himself like that, even if he was neck deep in the middle of a breakthrough. “But it’s not that bad, Jiang Cheng, really! Lan Zhan brings me meals and makes me take naps and doesn’t let me get lost in my head. I’m fine, I promise.”

Jiang Cheng looks at him skeptically, and yeah, okay he deserves that. But he’s telling the truth this time!

“Someone has to look after you, I suppose,” he grumbles after a beat, “Come on.”

They walk in silence and Wei Wuxian tries not to fidget. They’ve gotten better. They’re still not – good. But they’ve talked and they been doing better. He thinks they have, at least. He knows that Lan Zhan doesn’t like Jiang Cheng and that the feeling is mutual, but Hairong is always here with a smile that’s filled with far too many teeth, ready to pounce should Lan Zhan cross over a line she has decided he has no business being near. Wei Wuxian is glad that his brother has someone like her in his corner; someone who will take his side no matter what. It’s good for Jiang Cheng to have someone like that in his life.

He knows that Lan Zhan is mostly angry on his behalf, but he wishes he wasn’t. Lan Zhan shouldn’t have to shoulder that burden and Jiang Cheng has every right to be angry with him. (He tries not to think about that time Hairong had found him drunk on the roof and he had been far, far too honest. She had looked at him blankly for a long moment and then carefully pushed back his hair and told him oh so gently that yes, Jiang Cheng had every right to be angry. But he had every right to be hurt by that anger. It was the softest she had ever been with him. He doesn’t know if he believes her.)

If Wei Wuxian is being honest with himself – and he tries to be these days – he’s been avoiding Hairong. He hasn’t gone down to the lake at all since she took up residence there. He’s seen her from a distance, lounging in the shallows with the children, arching over the lake, sunning herself on the rocks. But he hasn’t approached her directly. He’s not scared – he just. Doesn’t really know what to say to her. It’s easy when she’s just Hairong, his little brother’s wife who sometimes-passive-aggressively-sometimes-aggressively bullies him into communicating with Jiang Cheng like the two of them are real, functional adults instead of jagged, broken pieces of pain and trauma held together in the vague shape of a person through sheer, stubborn willpower.

When she’s a dragon, it’s. Well, it’s a bit different.

So he isn’t really sure what to expect when Jiang Cheng leads him down to the docks, but Hairong singing isn’t it. In hindsight, it’s a rather foolish thought – Hairong is a performer. She loves singing and dancing and storytelling. Why should that change just because her shape did?

There a different tone to it though. A different element to it that Wei Wuxian has never witnessed before.

Hairong glides through the water with the ease and grace of long practice, twisting in the air with water curling around her form as she dances over the center of the lake. Her voice echoes across the water, haunting and joyful and longing all at once. He doesn’t recognize the language, but he doesn’t feel like he’s missing anything by not being able to understand the words.

It’s beautiful.

She’s beautiful.

“You’ve never seen her do this before?” Jiang Cheng murmurs from his place beside him. Wei Wuxian had entirely forgotten he was there.

He shakes his head, unable to look away. “I’ve been mostly holed up in the library. Haven’t really had the time,” he answers softly.

Jiang Cheng makes an amused sound. “I didn’t mean recently,” he says, “This isn’t a new thing.”

As he says it, Wei Wuxian can picture it – Hairong as the woman he knows, small and lithe and so full of life, dancing across the waves, head thrown back and a grin on her face.

“Oh,” he says dumbly, “I hadn’t thought – but that makes sense.”

Jiang Cheng snorts. “She wouldn’t mind if you watched, if that’s what you’re worried about. She’s more shameless than you.”

A fact Wei Wuxian is well aware of. He hadn’t thought he’d ever meet such a person, but here they are.

“…she doesn’t like me,” he says.

“She likes you fine,” his brother immediately shoots back, “She just won’t let you avoid your own bullshit.”

Wei Wuxian makes a vague hum of acknowledgment. Hairong doesn’t let anyone avoid their own bullshit. But that doesn’t mean she likes them. Still…Jiang Cheng knows her best. “I’ll take your word for it,” he says.

“You could just ask her.”

“I could.”

He knows without looking that Jiang Cheng is rolling his eyes at him.

Hairong twists on the surface of the lake, arching up towards the sky before she falls still, her song ending, the last note fading into the night. Jiang Cheng kneels and dips a hand into the water.

“What are you – ?” he starts to ask, brow furrowed, only to be interrupted when Hairong suddenly collapses, sinking beneath the surface of the lake.

He’s left little time to wonder about if because twin spots of glowing gold appear in the water by the dock right before Hairong raises up in front of them.

“Little lotus,” she greets, “Little innovator.”

Wei Wuxian will never admit that he likes it when Hairong calls him that.

“Wei Wuxian has hit a wall,” Jiang Cheng announces like a traitor.

He twitches. “Jiang Cheng!”

Hairong just chuckles. “There are always obstacles in the road. It’s just a question of how you are going to get around them.”

She looks at him, expectant.

He groans, rubbing a hand over his face. “Okay,” he says, “I’ve figured most of it out. The original array wasn’t so much meant to reveal the truth as it was to reveal hidden things. I mean, there’s an honesty compulsion to ensure that the things revealed are true, but that’s not really the purpose of the original array. Which would be simple enough to reverse on it’s own because we’d just have to switch the ‘revelation’ components to ‘hidden’ and – ”

“You’re babbling,” Jiang Cheng cuts in, “If you’ve already figured that part out, then what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that there’s no transformation component in the original array,” he admits.

Jiang Cheng blinks. “What? But – ” he gestures at Hairong, expression incredulous.

“I know,” Wei Wuxian says, “But I’ve deconstructed the array at least six times and there’s nothing that should prompt this kind of reaction there!”

“You are approaching the problem from the wrong angle, I think.”

Wei Wuxian stares up at Hairong. “What do you mean?”

Hairong shifts, sinking slightly to be closer to their level. “What was the intent behind the array?”

Jiang Cheng frowns. “Lan Yun maintains that the array’s purpose is revelations of truth,” he says glancing Wei Wuxian.

“It’s really not,” Wei Wuxian confirms.

“The purpose does not matter in this instance,” Hairong says.

Now Wei Wuxian is frowning. “What do you mean?”

“Truth is…a very odd thing,” she says, “When most people think of it, they think of something that is always true no matter how it is picked and prodded. It is not something that can be changed. It is objective.”

Wei Wuxian raises a brow, interested. “But…?”

Hairong grins at him. “They aren’t wrong. But most everyday truths that people face are not objective. They are subjective.”

“How?” he asks.

“Because they depend largely on your point of view,” she answers, “Something you should be more than familiar with, Yiling Patriarch.”

“Ah,” he winces.

“You mean people manipulate the truth to suit them,” Jiang Cheng says.

She shakes her head. “No. They believe it to be true with all their hearts – but that doesn’t mean it is. For you, midday is when the sun is high in the sky. But for the owl who hunts at night while you sleep, midday is when the moon is high in the sky. So which is the truth?”

“Both of them,” Wei Wuxian says, mind working, “Lan Yun’s intent was to reveal the truth regardless of the actual purpose of the array. But he was as surprised by the results as the rest of us.”

Hairong looks pleased. “Indeed. I have many shapes, little innovator. Some human, some animal, some that are in between. All of them are still me. And yet, of all of them, this is the form that was revealed. Why?”

Wei Wuxian exchanges a look with Jiang Cheng. Hairong has a point. He knows that her relationship with the Lan has been…contentious at best and for one of them to actually act against her, in the middle of Lotus Pier no less, it would not be with the intention of revealing her to be a dragon. That would only prove her to be in the right and make the Lan lose face in the process. Which is exactly what happened. Lan Yun would not have intended for this to happen – had looked surprised when it did. So…

“Hairong,” Wei Wuxian says slowly, narrowing his eyes at her, “Are you a dragon?”

She laughs softly, an amused gleam in her eyes. “In your culture? Who’s to say? In mine?” she grins, revealing rows of razor sharp teeth. It should be terrifying and yet Wei Wuxian can see her all but radiating mischief. “The dragon has always been my brother.”

Jiang Cheng snorts. “Oh, well if you’re related to dragons,” he mutters, crossing his arms as he shoots a searching look at his wife, “Lan Yun wanted to reveal you as a monster.”

Her smile dims into something more solemn at that. “And he got one.”

There’s a pause.

Hairong is many things, but monstrous is not even remotely close to anywhere on Wei Wuxian’s list. He’s seen her with people. The juniors, the elderly, the children, civilians, cultivators, prostitutes, sect leaders. He’s seen her in all kinds of situations – he’s seen her be kind and cruel, gentle and harsh, proper to the point of pain and so shameless that even he is red in the face.

Wei Wuxian has known monsters.

Hairong is not one of them.

“I think we have different definitions of what a monster is,” he says flippantly.

She huffs at him. “Oh? And my appearance doesn’t do it for you?”

“More than half the people here are tripping over themselves just to bow to you,” Jiang Cheng says flatly.

Hairong clicks her tongue in disapproval. “Then what of the fact that I’ve killed more people than are currently alive?”

Wei Wuxian stares. “…How old are you?”

“Don’t you know to never ask a lady her age?” she asks coyly.

“Even if that’s true,” Jiang Cheng starts, his tone and expression conveying that he knows very much that it’s true, “What the fuck does that have to do with us?” he asks gesturing between them.

“I’m really not in a position to be throwing stones about that anyways,” Wei Wuxian adds softly, crossing his arms over his chest. The events of the battle at the Nightless City are more like bloody fragments of jagged glass than actual memories, but that doesn’t mean he has no clue what happened. He’s all too aware. He knows what he did. What room does he have to criticize another for the murder of thousands? And he knows that’s what it was. For Hairong, it doesn’t matter if it was in self-defense or cold blood, if there was a good reason or not. Killing is killing is killing. And he, someone who has more blood on his hands than he cares to think about, understands that very well.

Hairong hums and Wei Wuxian gets the distinct impression that she’s shrugging even though she doesn’t have the appropriate body parts for such an action.

“I am what I am,” she says, “Your feelings on that are yours and yours alone.”

“As if you don’t already know what they are,” Jiang Cheng scoffs.

Hairong giggles of all things and dips down to nuzzle her husband. Jiang Cheng leans into her, resting his forehead against her scales.

…Is this how Jiang Cheng feels when he and Lan Zhan are together? This is terrible.

“Anyway,” he says loudly and Jiang Cheng pulls back to scowl at him, “Don’t worry, Hairong, Jiang Cheng still loves you a lot.”

“He does,” Hairong agrees and Wei Wuxian watches with barely hidden glee as Jiang Cheng turns bright red, but then she turns to him. “And what of you, little tease, do you love me too?”

She even bats her eyes at him, which is all kinds of strange when she’s reptilian.

He splutters and he can feel himself flushing.

Hairong throws her head back and laughs, long and loud, the sound echoing over the water.

“We are getting off topic,” Jiang Cheng cuts in, blush still high on his cheeks. He turns to Wei Wuxian. “Did this help?”

He blinks and then mentally redirects. “Ah. Right. Well, if we don’t have to worry about a transformation component, then I suppose I’ve already reversed the array. We just need someone with the right intent to cast it.” He eyes Hairong speculatively, hand absently coming up to rubs his nose as he thinks. “If you were a cultivator, I would just give the modified array to you and have your intent cast it, but…”

“But she’s not a cultivator,” Jiang Cheng finishes.

“Lotus can cast it.”

Wei Wuxian watches Jiang Cheng whip around to face her. “What? No!”

“You know me best,” she says simply.

“That doesn’t mean I’ll do it right!” he snaps back.

Wei Wuxian watches, bewildered, as his brother argues with his wife over his ability to reverse the array correctly. Jiang Cheng could do it, he knows. He’s the best candidate for it – Hairong is right, Jiang Cheng knows her best. Wei Wuxian just can’t understand why he’s refusing.

“Don’t ask me,” Jiang Cheng grits out, “We have a difference of opinion on this. I don’t want mine to have any influence that might effect yours.”

Wei Wuxian doesn’t get it, not at first. But then Hairong goes still and her eyes go impossibly sad and soft.

Oh.

Hairong isn’t a cultivator.

Jiang Cheng is.

Hairong is going to die long before he does.

Wei Wuxian knew that, he did. But he’s never really stopped to think about it before, about what it means that Hairong doesn’t have a golden core. He knows what it means. (He knew what he was subjecting himself to when he gave his away.) Yet, it’s never before occurred to him what it meant for Hairong specifically. And considering he’s not the one married to her, but his first instinctive reaction is a violently visceral no, he can understand Jiang Cheng’s refusal.

He can’t make his brother do that. Not to his wife. Not to someone he loves.

So he needs to find a different solution. Hairong can’t cast the array, but she as the correct intent needed for it. Jiang Cheng won’t cast the array, but has the spirit energy needed to activate it in the first place. He tilts his head to the side, turning the idea over in his mind, shifting the pieces until they slot together neatly. It could work – a slight adjustment to compensate for dual casting, but with a single power source.

It should work.

“Okay,” he says loudly, clapping his hands together and pasting a bright smile onto his face as he pushes through the heavy atmosphere like it isn’t there, “Jiang Cheng’s spiritual energy will power the array, but Hairong will be the one to actually cast it.”

“…Will that work?” Jiang Cheng asks skeptically.

“I will make it work,” he says.

“Thank you, Wei Wuxian.”

Wei Wuxian stares up at Hairong with wide eyes. Something he’s long noticed about Hairong is that she doesn’t use names. Ever. This is the first time he has heard her use one and it’s his.

Her gaze is heavy and he feels it like a physical weight on his chest. He understands.

“You’re welcome,” he says.

It isn’t until he and Jiang Cheng are on the way back to their rooms that he remembers to ask the question that has been burning in the back of his mind for the entire week.

“So you married a dragon? What’s that like?”

“Wei Wuxian!”

Lan Qiren feels as though he has aged forty years over the course of a single week.

The last conference that had devolved so badly was the one when Wei Wuxian’s return was revealed to world after the then Madame Jin, Qin Su, had committed suicide and started a chain of events that shook the cultivation world so hard that they were still recovering. Lan Qiren thinks this one might be worse. The last one was – regrettable. But understandable once everything had come out. This though…

This time, he isn’t certain how to even begin wrapping his head around these new revelations. This time, it is the Lan that have lost face, not the Jin.

The Discussion Conference has more or less come to a standstill in the wake of Lan Yun’s actions. They still meet daily but little of what is actually discussed is actually what they are meant to be discussing. It’s mostly become nothing more than an attempt to subtly interrogate Sect Leader Jiang about his wife. Jiang Wanyin is not known for his patience, but Lan Qiren really must give the younger man credit for enduring such nonsense without snapping – that’s not to say Sect Leader Jiang is taking things lying down. He’s had no problem making his displeasure known and Zidian is almost constantly throwing off sparks.

It’s a wonder no one has been struck down by the lightning Sect Leader Jiang wields so naturally.

When Wei Wuxian comes up with a way to reverse what has been done to Madame Jiang, Lan Qiren is not surprised. As much as it galls him to admit it (and he will never do so out loud), for all the he is an undisciplined deviant, Wei Wuxian is brilliant. Which is way they’ve all gathered at the docks today; to witness his work in action and hopefully revert Madame Jiang to human form. Wei Wuxian seems confident it will work and he doubts that Jiang Wanyin would let any such array near his wife if he was not confident in the same.

Lan Qiren does not allow the general unrest in the air to affect him. The Jiang Sect are the only ones completely unsurprised by recent revelations and he has decided he will reexamine that fact at a later time – preferably in private far away from the stress that seems to follow the Jiang Sect like a shadow. The Nie and the Jin are surprised, though their Sect Leaders are noticeably not. The Lan were completely caught off guard. He has been completely caught off guard. In his defense, he’d never expected a member of his sect to have the audacity to attack a member of another sect completely unprovoked. Lan Yun has much to answer for when they return to the Cloud Recesses – and not just for his attack on Madame Jiang. His entire approach to the situation was wrong. Lan Qiren cannot take the risk that Lan Yun would not have acted in a similar fashion with someone else who disagreed with him. Contrary to what some of his contemporaries seem to think, seclusion is the least of what Lan Yun deserves. His actions will have lasting consequences, not just for him, but for the entirety of the sect.

At the very least, Madame Jiang herself doesn’t seem inclined to take action against them. He’s seen Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi sitting on the dragon’s head with Sect Leader Jin and the Ouyang Sect heir multiple times since they’ve arrived. And Sect Leader Jiang has been almost alarmingly reasonable about the entire thing – though Lan Qiren has no doubt that if he’d failed to bow his head to the younger man, that would be an entirely different story.

The gathered cultivators watch as Wei Wuxian ducks in close to explain something to Jiang Wanyin. The Sect Leader nods and Wei Wuxian retreats back to Wangji’s side.

Madame Jiang, who has been waiting silently in the water near the docks, carefully lowers her head.

The soft glow of spiritual energy shines between husband and wife as Sect Leader Jiang applies the array. He steps back and Madame Jiang sinks into the lake.

Lan Qiren can sense the energy in the air – heavy and potent and vast in a way that is honestly terrifying – building similarly to the way it had at the beginning of this entire fiasco but in a far more controlled manner.

Madame Jiang emerges from the center of the lake, shooting into the sky without displacing a single drop of water. She glides through the sky as easily as she did that first day for all she has not left the lake since she entered it. She dances through the air with a grace that would look unnatural on any other creature, coils twisting and turning, scales glowing with a golden light far brighter and purer than sunshine. That golden light builds and builds and builds until it is too bright to look at. The energy begins to compress, sinking in on itself until it becomes a single point of light.

And then it falls.

That single point of condensed energy crashes into the lake, waves rippling outwards. Golden energy bleeds out with the ripples, expanding until the entire lake shines like the sun, soft waves of light lapping at the docks.

The light slowly fades, leaving the water looking exactly as it was before and yet Lan Qiren cannot help but feel that something has changed. He blinks the spots from his vision and ignores the whispers that have risen around him as Jiang Wanyin approaches the edge of the dock.

Just as the Sect Leader reaches the end, a hand reaches up out of the water, slapping down on wood before a human body hoists itself out of the lake.

A very naked human body.

The whispers turn into loud exclamations and Lan Qiren pointedly turns his gaze away, forever lamenting the fact that his peers are apparently incapable of rational thought in the presence of improperly clad woman. Or an un-clad woman, as the case may be.

“Hairong,” Sect Leader Jiang’s voice cuts through the noise, aggrieved and resigned in equal measure.

His wife simply laughs. “Did you expect my clothes to survive that?”

Jiang Wanyin heaves a put-upon sigh. “It would have been nice,” he says, followed by a rustling sound.

“I don’t know what the fuss is about,” Madame Jiang says, “I’ve little need for clothes. My scales are fine enough.”

Lan Qiren is suddenly struck by the realization that Madame Jiang’s constant disregard for what is considered appropriate attire is because she doesn’t consider it worth her attention. After all, why should a dragon worry about how many layers is proper for what occasion?

Even though he’s been doing so all week, Lan Qiren is going to have to reevaluate every interaction with Madame Jiang.

“You don’t have scales right now,” Sect Leader Jiang replies flatly, “You have fragile human skin and you are soaking wet. If you don’t wear clothes, you’re going to get sick.”

“Fine, fine.”

“There. You’re decent.”

Carefully, Lan Qiren turns. Jiang Wanyin is adjusting the way his outer robes lays across his wife’s shoulders. It’s a hopeless endeavor – the robe is far too large for her small frame, and though Sect Leader Jiang has managed to tie it in such a way that it won’t fall right off her, the sleeves still cover her hands and the robe pools at her feet.

“I’m always decent,” she says, lightly bating his hands away and walking down the dock towards the assembled cultivators watching her attentively.

The robe drags along the ground revealing a highly improper amount of leg, but Lan Qiren does not allow his eyes to stray. He can not say the same for many of his fellows.

She stops before them in an overly large robe, legs on display, hair unbound and in complete disarray and dripping wet, completely soaking her clothes. Her expression is serene and distant, eyes half-lidded as she looks over them, still glows with residual energy, golden light shining brightly.

She looks like an empress.

“Lan Yun,” she says, golden eyes locking on where he stands bracketed by Jiang disciples, voice echoing and far too large for her small frame, more suited to the towering creature of legend Lan Qiren now knows her to be. “Are you satisfied?”

Lan Yun falls to his knees, pressing his forehead to the ground.

“A thousand apologies, Madame Jiang,” he says, “This lowly one begs your pardon. He acted foolishly in his arrogance and delivered harm upon both your person and your home. This one swears on his sect and his sword that such a thing will never happen again.”

Madame Jiang scoffs.

“What pretty words,” she says. There are glowing points of gold across Lan Yun’s shoulders where her gaze bores into him. She flicks a sleeve and the Jiang disciples haul Lan Yun to his feet so she can look him in the eye. “Are they for Hairong, the mortal woman who speaks her thoughts freely without censure? Or are they for the immortal legend you worship as if it were a god?”

Lan Yun visibly flounders. “I – they are for you – ”

Madame Jiang sneers at him. “You were willing to use spells and trickery because I did not agree with you. You could have killed me over a difference of opinion. What value do words have when they come from a mouth such as yours?”

Lan Yun cannot answer, face red with embarrassment and shame, nor can he retreat held in place as he is.

“If you ever use such methods again, no matter how mundane or mild you think the situation to be,” she continues, “I will find you. And I will rip your throat out with my teeth,” she says calmly, simply.

It is not a threat.

It is a promise.

And Lan Qiren realizes, with a cold, sinking dread, that the woman they have known for over the past decade, the woman who openly questions their ways, who sincerely and eagerly debates their philosophies, who flaunts her impropriety in their faces without shame every chance she gets, who constantly drives their sect to its wits end trying to deal with her – that all of that shameful, improper, aggravating behavior was her being polite.

And her patience is now at an end.

“Do you understand?”

Lan Yun gives a shaky nod, trembling from head to toe.

“Excellent. Get out of my sight.”

The Jiang disciples release him and Lan Yun makes a hasty retreat.

Madame Jiang casts her gaze over the assembled cultivators and Lan Qiren notes with growing unease that she seems to linger on anyone in Lan colors.

“I am a patient woman,” she says after a moment of heavy silence, “But even I have my limits. I have grown tired of dealing with spoiled children who throw temper tantrums whenever the slightest thing doesn’t go their way. As things stand, I would be within my rights to declare war over this, would I not?”

She turns towards Sect Leader Jiang, head tilted in inquiry. Jiang Wanyin raises an eyebrow in question, but nods in acknowledgment.

“An attempt on your life was made,” her husband answers, “We would be in our rights to retaliate.”

She laughs. “Oh, the Yunmeng Jiang would not be going to war,” she says, turning back to them with a smile that looks far more like a baring of teeth, “It would be me.”

Her words land amongst them like a stone, heavy and blunt and shocking. Lan Qiren feels as if he cannot breathe.

“That’s how things work amongst you lot, isn’t it?” she asks, head tilted in earnest curiosity, “You tried to kill me so I kill you back? That’s what I’d do if I was like you. Oh, but I forgot,” she muses thoughtfully, “I wouldn’t stop there, would I? The Lan are dangerous. They attack individuals for the simple act of having thoughts. Such a dangerous sect to leave unchecked. They are a threat and must be dealt with. Isn’t that what I would think, if I was like you?”

There’s a pressure in the air, pressing down on his shoulders, squeezing around his lungs. Lan Qiren’s heart is in his throat. He has not felt fear like this since the Sunshot Campaign.

“I could, you know,” she continues, “It would be easy. You’ve all done it countless times and never batted an eye. If I was like you, it would be easy. The Lan are a threat to me and mine – too dangerous to be left alive. If I was like you, I would wage war, wouldn’t I? If I was like you, I would claim each cultivator’s life in retribution. But not just yours, right? If I was like you, I would slaughter you all. The oldest, most feeble elder down to the infants in their cradles. The servants. The non-combatants. The children. That’s what I would do, if I as like you.”

Her pause is like a physical weight, her glowing gold gaze piercing straight through them. Her voice has gotten quieter, softer, as she spoke and yet it echoes across the entirety of Lotus Pier. Her next words are little more than a whisper, but they strike Lan Qiren to his core.

“Aren’t you so very glad that I am not like you?”

And then the pressure is gone.

The energy that saturated the air has vanished and Lan Qiren pulls air into his lungs as if he had been drowning just a moment before. He’s not the only one. All around him, cultivators are gasping, staggering as if released from a great weight.

The Jiang Sect’s First Disciple, Xia Lian, steps from the crowd and offers Madame Jiang her arm, completely unruffled by the scene she just witnessed.

“Come, Little Mother,” she says, “You must be tired, no need to linger. Sect Leader can deal with the guests.”

Madame Jiang huffs. “Don’t call them guests,” she says, voice once more that of a mortal woman, as she threads her arm through Xia Lian’s, “That implies that they’re wanted.”

“As you say, Little Mother,” Xia Lian replies, a smirk tugging at her lips.

“Except you, little hunter,” Madame Jiang flaps a sleeve in Sect Leader Nie’s direction as they pass, “You’re an angel and we’re all thrilled you’re here.”

Nie Huiasang just smiles, leisurely waving his fan. “Always a pleasure to be here, Da-jie.”

Jiang Wanyin snorts before stepping forward. “Alright, show’s over,” he says pointedly, “I’m sure we all have far more important things to do.”

Lan Qiren has never been more glad for a Discussion Conference to come to a close.

Jiang Cheng is not surprised when Hairong slides into his bed.

She plasters herself to his side, head resting on his chest, hand over his heart. He curls an arm around her shoulders, fingers smoothing down the soft fabric of her sleep robe. The first few times this had happened, Jiang Cheng had nearly bodily thrown Hairong from the room. Sometimes, he still doesn’t welcome it. But sometimes, times like tonight, he silently yearns it.

“Are you angry at me?” Hairong asks, tracing patterns on his chest.

A sigh explodes out of him. He should be. Her little show earlier had spun the sects into a whirlwind – half of them tripping over their own feet as they beg him to reign in his ‘wife’ and the other half demanding to know if they need to prepare for war. Lan Wangji had been visibly unnerved, but Wei Wuxian seemed to have been the only other one in the room to understand what had just happened. But with three of the Great Sects firmly in agreement that no war preparations were necessary, there was little that could be said.

Nie Huiasang pointed out that Hairong had every right to be upset about what happened and nothing she said was untrue.

Not a statement that had helped really, but it got the point across.

As it stands, Jiang Cheng isn’t feeling particularly charitable to any other sects at the moment. They only care now that Hairong’s ‘true’ form has been revealed as opposed to just last week when they would have been content to slander her name and gossip as soon as her back was turned. Now they are going to fall over themselves to flatter her, to gain her favor, when before they would have ignored her existence. They will fear her and revere her and Jiang Cheng is almost looking forward to watching her put them all in their places.

But more than all of that – more than the damages and the other sects and politics of it all – Jiang Cheng keeps seeing that moment Hairong hit the floor.

All week, every time he closes his eyes, he sees her there, sprawled out on the ground, still and limp and lifeless. He sees her, Hairong, his friend, his family, collapsed in a heap, dead, in the middle of Lotus Pier. While he stands there, helpless unable to stop it. He’d told himself, years ago, that Lotus Pier would never again be filled with the bodies of people he cared about. He’d promised.

And yet.

“I’m not angry,” he whispers into the quiet between them.

Hairong hums. “But you are upset.”

He breathes, closes his eyes, sees her body seared into the backs of his eyelids.

Hairong is patient, hand over his heart, fingers taping out a mindless beat. She doesn’t prod or pry. She merely waits.

“You were dead,” he says after a long silence, “For that single moment, you were dead. And I could do nothing.”

The tapping over his heart stops. Hairong pushes herself up and braces herself over him, elbows on either side of his head and looks him in the eye. He meets her gaze and lets everything he won’t say, everything he doesn’t know how to say, show in his eyes.

Her face softens and she dips down to press her forehead to his.

“My death will never be your fault,” she says firmly, “Regardless of the how or why or when. Regardless of if you are standing right next to me or on the other side of the world. My death will never be your fault. Do you understand?”

“Logically,” he replies, because he does. He understands what she’s telling him. But emotions rarely follow logic and Jiang Cheng has never been particularly inclined to listen to logic when his emotions run wild.

Hairong pulls back enough that he can see the rueful smile quirking her lips. “Fair,” she says as she settles back against his side.

They breathe together for a moment and now Jiang Cheng waits. He knows what’s coming next.

“I am going to die, Jiang Cheng,” she says quietly, “And it will not be your fault.”

He pulls in a breath, holds it for a moment, and then releases it all at once. “I know,” he answers, “And part of me will hate you for it.”

“I know,” she echoes back at him, “But just because I will be leaving you in however many years does not mean I’ll never see you again. Death isn’t a goodbye. Just a see you later.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” he can’t help but grumble.

She huffs a laugh against his throat as she curls into him. “No,” she whispers to him as if imparting a secret, the weight of years in her voice, “It is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”

Jiang Cheng gives in and turns, wrapping himself around Hairong’s smaller form. “Then why do you keep doing it?”

She smiles, small and sad and fond, hand coming up to cup his cheek. “Oh, A-Cheng, nothing is forever. I would have rather loved and lost than never loved at all. You know that.”

“I do.”

And he does. They’ve had this talk numerous times over the years. It never gets any easier. He understands all too well what Hairong means when she says death is something that happens to the living. It makes him cling that much harder to the things that are his.

“You’re not allowed to die of anything other than old age,” he announces.

He can feel her smile against the hallow of his throat.

“I will do my best.”

It’s not a promise. Hairong never makes promises about things out of her control and Jiang Cheng loves her for it. She never promises impossible things. Still.

“You’re a Jiang,” he grumbles at her, closing his eyes and settling more firmly against her. “Attempt the impossible.”

A breath of laughter warms his chest.

“As you say, little love.”

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thetypedwriter · 3 years

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Wilder Girls Book Review by Rory Power

I didn’t know this until the end of the book, but apparently Wilder Girls is supposed to be a female version or retelling of Lord of the Flies.

Now I’ve read the Lord of the Flies probably three times now and there was nothing other than the survival element on an island that makes me think the two novels are even related.

Wilder Girls by Rory Power is about a group of girls stuck on an island after their boarding school, Raxter Academy, befalls a horrific evolution known as the Tox.

After killing most of the adults on the island, the Tox continues to contaminate the girls, the wildlife, and the entirety of the environment on the island, making living creatures go feral, violent, and rotting-especially the girls.

The book adopts an almost in medias res approach-or, known as in the middle of things -where we are not shown any of this happening.

Instead it has been years since the Tox first took its toll, the survivors are diminishing day by day, the girls remaining are starving, infected by the Tox in some terribly grotesque way, and desperate for a cure.

I genuinely think I would have liked this novel better if it had taken a Lord of the Flies approach and showed us from the beginning how the Tox descended, the madness and chaos it caused, and then the destructive aftermath that followed.

But no, instead we are told all of this trauma and are expected to feel bad and sympathetic towards these angry characters whom we haven’t bonded with or seen experience any of these atrocities firsthand, but I’ll get more into that later.

After taking way too long to introduce you to the island, the Tox disease, and how the girls operate on it, the plot slowly starts to trudge along when arguably the main character, Hetty, is chosen as a Boat Girl in lieu of her best friend and crush, Reese.

The position of Boat Girl now awards Hetty the opportunity to leave the safety net of the school and its forbidden gates and travel with the other Boat Girls and one of the only adults on the island named Welch in order to receive supplies from the Navy that sends food periodically to the island.

After her first trip however, Hetty learns that not all is what it seems on the island and that more than one person has secrets they’re keeping.

Dark and deadly secrets.

What unfolds is a bewildering tale of Hetty’s best friend Byatt being taken in by the Tox and stolen away, a rescue mission undertaken by Hetty and Reese in order to get her back, the unraveling of the island, snippets of Byatt’s POV as she’s being experimented on in order to find the cure, and a anticlimactic ending that left me bereft of any kind of satisfaction or contentment.

This book was...trying too hard to be something that nobody asked for.

A female retelling or re-imagining of Lord of the Flies is an interesting concept and I would be extremely curious to see the social and emotional differences it would have made having an entire female cast versus an entire male cast, but that is not what this book is.

Other than being on an island and trying to survive, almost every element of the book is different. Lord of the Flies deals with concepts like the loss of innocence, nature versus civilization, and the inherent evil budding within each human being when driven to the extreme.

You could argue that Wilder Girls has loss of innocence maybe, but the themes stop there. First off, there are adults in this novel and the girls cater to them accordingly. I never once forgot that Hetty, Byatt and Reese were teenagers. They read like teenagers. They act like teenagers.

A third of the way through Lord of the Flies and you forget entirely that most of the characters are under aged 12 versus the sixteen and seventeen years old of Wilder Girls.

The survival elements differ as well. In Lord of the Flies they have to learn to cooperate and survive on the island by hunting, gathering, and creating a social hierarchy.

In Wilder Girls, the hierarchy is already in place with the headmistress of the school and they are given supplies (most of which is destroyed or dumped out by the way).

I couldn’t actually believe that the book was telling me that these girls survive off a piece of jerky and the battery acid flavor of old soup and still living? And walking? And going to shooting practice?

The actual conditions these girls lived in was preposterous more than it was sad and I spent half the book with my head cocked trying to reason if people could even survive under such circumstances (I don’t think so, not for this long of a time).

The comparisons just don’t cut it for me.

To me, this book came across way too much as Rory Power trying to be symbolic, deep, and riveting and instead I was confused, bored, and unsympathetic.

I cried at the end of Lord of the Flies.

At the end of Wilder Girls, I flipped the page and was astounded to find that the book had ended. It didn’t even read like an ending. I thought it was just another chapter.

It was so abortive and feckless that I genuinely thought pages were missing only to discover the acknowledgments part of the book came next, followed by a deleted chapter I didn’t give a crap about, and then discussion questions.

Now, I don’t know who actually decides if a book gets discussion questions, it could be the publisher, the editor, the author, I have no idea. But I found the idea of giving this book discussion questions before it earned its merit was so pretentious it made me dislike it even more.

This whole book just missed the mark for me.

Power does have some good writing, but she tries too hard in my very subjective opinion. A lot of the writing was wordy and theatrical and I would get bored with all the waxing and waning of the characters and descriptions.

The experimental writing bits with Byatt were downright miserable for me. I ended up skimming most of them. They were half-worded, half-formed, barely coherent thoughts and phrases and I understand that that was the point, but instead of intriguing or symbolic I found it irritating and a waste of time.

I know I’ve been incredibly harsh on this book review and I’m sure there are many of you that would disagree with me seeing as this book was a New York Times Bestseller, but there was nothing in this book that landed for me personally.

The characters were...semi-interesting but I felt like they didn’t get the development or proper exploration I needed to actually like them because the setting and the situations were so dire and ridiculous that it constantly robbed them of any kind of empathetic or human moment.

I do really enjoy the idea of having an almost entire female centric novel but there are other books out there that accomplish that and a female/female romance much better in my opinion (Girls of Paper and Fire for instance).

In the end, it’s safe to say that I didn’t enjoy this novel very much. I would have liked to see these characters before the Tox, to see their downfall, their pandemonium, their change and growth and regression as characters due to their world ending as they knew it.

Then, when the Tox does come and the world goes upside down, the feelings and relationships of the characters would have much more meaning than being told what had happened and expected to care like I was and couldn’t bring myself to, even at the end.

Recommendation: Read Lord of the Flies instead.

Score: 4/10

#wilder girls #rory power #ya fiction #YA Books #YA literature #book blog #book review #book #books #teen books #Teen Romance #teen fiction #Book Recommendations #book rec #YA Book Review #ya book rec #f/f romance #f/f books #LGBTQ fiction

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iturbide · 4 years

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Can I have some Headcanons on Claude's parents? Like how did his father ask his mom to marry him (or how did his mom ask?)

OHOHOHO MY TIME HAS COME

So I actually have an extremely elaborate history planned out for Claude’s parents, which I have been hiding in the wings for months because this is the kind of thing I think about in my downtime. So just be warned that this is long and, like most of my headcanons for the game, takes nothing from Cindered Shadows into account (though I will grudgingly use the names that it lays out).

[[MORE]]

Tiana von Riegan was never a proper noblewoman. She was certainly beautiful and stately, tall and elegant and poised, with quick wits and ample intelligence...but it was all offset by a razor-sharp tongue and a ferocity few hardened warriors could match. She and Judith von Daphnel were a well-matched pair, and spent the better part of their time together causing trouble of some sort until they ended up called to the Locket to help repel Almyran invaders.

Back before the Gonerils had troops enough to defend the Locket full-time (and had Holst as their star general), Alliance members would send small detachments of soldiers or hired mercenaries to help out with the fort’s defenses. Tiana and Judith made a point of always going together, so when one got the call the other invariably came with her. And oh, they were forces to be reckoned with, both of them: Judith may have earned the moniker ‘The Hero of Daphnel,’ but Tiana was no slouch herself -- and as an aspiring Great Knight, she had no trouble fighting back the Almyrans heckling their border.

It was in one of those skirmishes that she met the man who would eventually become her husband, though she had no idea about that at the time. He was just another Almyran, at first sight -- but unlike the others that she’d faced down, in that battle and all those before, he didn’t retreat when she bested him...because for the first time, she met a fighter she couldn’t best. They were evenly matched on the field, meeting one another’s blows with blocks and parries and ripostes, but neither one ever managed to gain the upper hand. And when both sides retreated, she wondered if she’d face him again, because that was a fight she wouldn’t be forgetting any time soon.

As luck would have it, they kept running into each other on the field in the months to come. Some days she almost thought she had him -- and some days, she almost feared he had her. But they never managed to claim victory, and they both always walked away alive, if somewhat worse for the wear. She started looking forward to seeing him, and moving to engage him when she happened to glimpse him out there -- and, maybe it was her imagination, but she thought she saw him searching for her, too, and grinning when he caught sight of her in the crush of skirmishing forces.

And then, one evening while she was on watch atop the fort, she saw a lone man slip out of the trees near the Locket. Understandably, she took up her arms, ready to sound an alarm...but before she could, the man pulled out a white flag and raised it over his head in a gesture of truce. It got her attention, to be sure...so she slipped down to investigate. And who should it be but her Almyran rival, holding a wineskin and tucking his white silk sash back into his belt as he bowed and invited her to celebrate their hard-fought battle. It...seemed kind of weird to her, but he took the first swig without hesitation, so she hesitantly joined him.

He introduced himself simply as Kemal, and she returned the gesture with just her first name. They just...talked. For quite a while, sharing that wineskin until it ran dry, and then a while after that before parting ways. And then, after the next engagement, she ended up watching the trees just in case he came back for another ‘post-battle celebration.’

He did.

Over the course of the next year or so, they met dozens of times in the late evening. They shared bits of their history and heritage and language (Kemal’s very stilted Fodlan started getting more natural the more they met, and she started picking up some Almyran curses and signs in turn). Tiana found out that these assumed ‘raids’ were, at worst, skirmishes and training exercises for Almyran fighters, or sometimes hunting parties mistaken for fighters, since the pass itself had once been Almyran territory and a fertile hunting ground that helped supply nearby settlements. And sometimes they even talked about their friends and families: Tiana groused about her overbearing father and older brother and told all kinds of stories of her exploits with Judith, while Kemal laughed about his own younger brother and how both he and Nader had to keep the boy from rushing headling into battle to prove himself a warrior.

It was good for what felt like a long time.

But then it ended.

The Twisted had been working on experiments to control Demonic Beasts for a long time, and began their test runs around this period; in years ahead, these experiments would give rise to the plot that killed Tiana’s brother and that Count Gloucester used to prey upon Riegan merchants...but in these early tests, the control methods were still hypothetical at best. But they approached the commanders stationed at the Locket, offering them a Demonic Beast to lay waste to the Almyran raiders that continued to threaten their borders. It sounded rather too good to be true, but they desperately wanted to put an end to the fighting once and for all -- so they accepted.

They never saw it coming. The Demonic Beast entered the field as intended -- but it very swiftly went berserk, attacking both the Almyrans and Alliance fighters in a rampage before escaping into the forests. Tiana ended up concussed and generally worse from the wear, though she could still stand and walk (and counted her blessings for that fact)...but not everyone was so lucky: as she searched the field, she found Kemal huddled on the ground, his dominant arm a bloody, unsalvageable mess, doing his best to rouse a young man -- his brother -- who even she could tell would never wake again (but then, Kemal was suffering a combination of concussion, shock, and denial).

Tiana’s not a healer. She never had been. But she did her best to at least slow the bleeding, and stayed with him until Almyran reinforcements showed up -- and who should appear first but Nadar, who freaked out as soon as he realized what was going on because A) Kemal, who was in fact an Almyran prince, looked to be at death's door; B) his brother had already walked through it, and C) there was a Fodlan warrior there who, for all he knew, was about to send Kemal through next. But Tiana backed off when he came rushing up and made no move to either stop him from taking Kemal or cause any harm to anyone, even warning Judith off when she came hurrying up to help her friend in what appeared to be a brewing fight...though, in his delirium and panic, Kemal begged Tiana not to leave him even as Nader tried to haul him away.

Kemal and Tiana both had been very secretive about their meetings. Judith had certainly teased Tiana about her ‘admirer,’ and both Nader and his brother had mercilessly ribbed Kemal about his ‘secret love’ that he’s gone out to woo so frequently -- but no one expected that their admirers were across that border. Until that moment, no one knew. But the cat couldn’t go back into the bag after that.

Understandably, both of them ended up getting the third degree from their friends once they’re better on the mend. Judith was surprisingly supportive of Tiana once she got the full explanation of everything she’d found out over the past year, but Kemal was dealing with a lot on every front: on top the physical loss of his arm, something that many imagined would preclude him from ever taking the throne (since no one imagined he would be able to fulfill the Rite of Challenge with such a severe handicap), he also lost his younger brother, not to a warrior’s death but to a horrific accident. But eventually, when he was better on the mend (physically, at least, if not emotionally), Kemal made his way back to the Locket for what he imagined would be his final time, intending to say goodbye to Tiana, since he didn’t imagine he would be able to meet her again, given the circumstances...and in response, she more or less said “fuck that -- pull yourself together! ...and if you can’t do it alone, then I’ll help.”

It was, more or less, a proposal. Kemal couldn’t mistake it for anything else.

They agreed to meet in a month at the usual time, in that familiar place outside the Locket. They parted ways, with Kemal returning to Almyra to keep working at his recovery, while Tiana immediately sent word to her father of her intention to marry Kemal -- something her father expressly forbade in his return missive before starting to seek out potential bachelors among the Alliance nobility that might be able to rein Tiana in. Not that she was going to let that stop her: she told Judith her intentions, got her best friend’s blessing, and on the appointed evening she headed out to meet Kemal, fully intent on going with him to Almyra.

(Kemal jokingly asked her when she arrived if he should carry her off over his shoulder to make it seem like a plausible kidnapping, to which she replied that she’d like to see him try -- and as a former archery star and capable lancer, he did not disappoint and quite cheerfully carried her off.)

Tiana was completely true to her word and stuck with him through his recovery, emotional and physical both; by the time he could start writing legibly again, both were dead set on the marriage. Unfortunately, Kemal’s father was less than thrilled, given Almyrans’ general feelings about the people of Fodlan -- but, as he reminded his son, the Rite of Challenge still applied: if he could best his father in combat, he could have whatever he asked. So Kemal leveled the challenge, selecting a light-weight sword for his weapon of choice. No one actually expected much, least of all the King of Almyra -- but unbeknownst to them, Kemal had been putting a lot of effort into blade training once he was well enough on the mend: in very short order, he managed to disarm his father and force him to concede defeat.

What did he ask for?

His father’s blessing to marry Tiana.

The King, understandably, was quite shocked, because he’d expected that Kemal would demand the throne (as is traditional when the Rite of Challenge is laid before the king -- not to mention the fact that he wouldn’t require a blessing if he were ruler). When he said so, though, Kemal only shook his head, remarking that he didn’t want to win the throne so easily: this was his father’s one and only warning not to underestimate him when he does come for the crown.

Kemal and Tiana married shortly after, and in the coming year Kemal did in fact level a true King’s Challenge at his father -- but though it was indeed a harder fight, Kemal still emerged victorious and took the throne of Almyra with his beloved queen -- and his father lived a very long life, with many of his later years spent doting on his adorable if incredibly mischievous grandson.

And there I have now written a small novel regarding Claude’s parents thank you for getting this far you deserve a prize.

#answered #anonymous #fire emblem: three houses #almyra #headcanon #i love the idea of claude's dad being a badass one-armed man #who can and in fact consistently does beat his son with a one-handed sword #he taught his son swordplay and their styles are very similar because of it #but kemal is still the champion and claude is happy to let him keep the title #also he and tiana are still very much in love and tend to raise hell together #if given even half an opportunity #for the record tiana is significantly taller than her husband #claude inherited his height from his dad #this is an ongoing joke among the family and their friends

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shxwmaster · 3 years

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anonymous asked: Some angst ponderings for you - what would be the reaction if Shaw ever got an order from SW for whatever reason that entailed killing Flynn? Or perhaps a 'horrific vision'-esque nightmare where he saw himself doing it?

—

Bless you anon, this is something I’ve been wanting to find time to talk about for AGES now.

Before I answer, I’m going to back up a moment and once again draw attention to his history to VanCleef which I know I can NOT stop talking about —— his best friend, childhood friend, student, lover, who then became an enemy of the state, of which Shaw chose his loyalty to Stormwind over him, directed the SI:7 to dismantle the Defias Brotherhood, and had a hand in VanCleef’s overall death. This is something that still haunts him, and canon implies on various occasions his guilt over it

( see: EA:EK, Flynn noting that Shaw went to the Deadmines to pay his respects

see: Horrific Vision Shaw, where the original script was you work with Vanessa VanCleef to stop Overlord Shaw, who’s running the Defias Company

see: Shaw’s Faceless Mask of the Pained, which reads: “ His lost passions, lost loves are all gone, crushed under his own duty and loyalty to the crown. Nothing is left, nothing but the pain. ” )

Shaw is finally giving himself this chance to have something for himself, something that he wants. He’s allowing himself to love and be loved, and though he’s still prioritizing his work ( terror by torchlight has flynn stating that he’s hardly seen him, despite the fact that they’re dating by this point ) he’s still taking the time he can to be with him. He’s utterly in love, he adores Flynn, he’s genuinely happy with him. He hasn’t had this in over a decade, he’s denied himself this for so long.

For Stormwind to now tell him to kill him? To do the same thing he’d done once before? In service of the kingdom? Again? You want to ask him to do that again?

He will not.

Flynn Fairwind is the ONE!! THING!! PERSON!! He WANTS to keep. He asks for ONE THING, ONE, and you want to take that from him? After he’s given everything? He was a child soldier for Stormwind, he’s murdered for Stormwind, he killed VanCleef for Stormwind, he’s upheld this rotten system because it’s all he’s known, you’re going to take the one thing he asks for?

Mathias will not repeat that same mistake again.

HONESTLY! I have been utterly, utterly OBSESSED with the very idea of Shaw deciding to break his rules, his code, for something personal. This man has NOTHING personal going on for him, I want him to fight to keep what he has, to push back that system that’s held him by this leash. He’s older and wiser, he knows what’s worth it and what’s not, he’s a little more willing to put his foot down. Mathias will NOT kill Flynn, he will not harm him, he will not hunt him, he will not obey any command from the Alliance that says he must hurt Flynn in any way.

Doesn’t matter if there’s a valid reason. Doesn’t matter if maybe Flynn did go dark side. Doesn’t matter what Flynn did to prompt the order.

That’s love, baby.

Considering everything Mathias has done for SW, it’s possible he could ( albeit with some difficulty ) figure out a way to maintain his position, integrity, AND preserve Flynn’s livelihood, but he’s fine with letting all of it go, running away. Did we not just spend the entirety of Shadows Rising reading about how he’s yearning, longing to run away from it all and just chill out in his cabin with this Kul Tiran he’s head over heels for? Him questioning who the hell he’d be if Pathonia hadn’t chosen Stormwind for him? Him wanting something different, to get away from this life he knows? Did we not get an entire new book that’s just the two of them venturing through the Eastern Kingdoms together because Shaw found safety and comfort in Flynn and wanted him to come with him? He’s good at his job, but he doesn’t want this life. He wants something nicer, something domestic, and he, at least in his daydreams, can see that vision with Flynn. Of COURSE he will be willing to throw away loyalty to keep this ONE. GOOD. THING. HE HAS IN HIS LIFE.

And who can stop Shaw? Really, who’s going to stop him? This master assassin, this child soldier born and raised under the blade? It took a DREADLORD to take him down, a fucking dreadlord — you think Stormwind can take him out? The Alliance will suffer without him, and won’t be able to eliminate him OR Fairwind if Shaw goes rogue to protect him. ( haha goes rogue )

Anyways, to answer your other question:

Shaw is very susceptible to Void, and the way I play out the whole N’Zoth era / horrific visions is that Shaw actually had many Void-induced nightmares, and has actually seen the exact Horrific Visions of Stormwind that we play through in-game. He has caught glimpses of himself as Overlord Shaw, how he took over these sections of Stormwind and reestablished the Defias Brotherhood, locked himself up in paranoia, attempted to murder Valeera, he’s seen some of these, he knows what he’s capable of as a servant of N’Zoth. It scared him. It still haunts him.

Nightmares like this, that would make him see himself killing Flynn? Shaw wouldn’t even SLEEP anymore. I don’t even think he’d talk about it, about these nightmares ; he’d just suddenly, quietly, be more present and protective over Flynn, spending more time with him to ensure that see, here, here he is, not dead, alive, see, you did not kill him, he’s okay — he wouldn’t mention why he’s suddenly all over him, but it’s apparent that it’s because he’s scared, and now, he can’t sleep unless he knows all is fine.

Shaw worries a LOT about him and his relation to the Void and Shadow, especially since, as a rogue, he’s capable of using moderate shadow powers for stealth. He tries to avoid using it, sticking to traditional methods of stealth and resorting to magic under intense circumstances, since using Shadow to conceal himself exposes his fragile mental state to the Void, making him susceptible to corruption. ( see once again, the Mask of the Pained ). It’s certainly a fear of his that one day he’ll make the wrong step, and those Horrific Visions will come to pass. At least the fall of N’Zoth eases his consciousness just a bit.

But Shaw would certainly lose a lot of sleep over this. Even if it wasn’t a Void!nightmare, he’d still be freaked and theorize it could be. He does not want to lose Flynn. He is so, so wildly protective over him.

#missive: inbox #profile: intel #si report: headcanon #file: fairwind #5 #this token of us this calamus root ; fairshaw #preemptive strike ; queue #( eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee THANKS FOR THE ASK I LOVE IT )

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magioftheseas · 4 years

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After Despair Lesson

Day 3: Hearing/Learning

Summary: It’s such simple fucking logic that what can he do but laugh and laugh? And then, he realizes what’s going to happen now that Junko’s been so devastatingly defeated and humiliated.

Rating: T+

Warnings: Violence and death. Because y’know.

Notes: I just had the idea of Matsuda watching Naegi defeat Junko and Junko’s subsequent, self-inflicted execution and ran with it. Guess this means she actually gets a fic and a half devoted to her for this week. God, will the Junko favoritism ever end? Sorry, Naegi-kun, but maybe your execution shouldn’t have been school-themed. I wonder if this can be considered unlucky...

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

He hadn’t given this kid a second thought in high school, and now this was on the big screen, confident and defiant. And Junko is just sputtering like an idiot. Any arguments she makes, he shuts down. The people are stirring. Matsuda can hear some of them screaming along with Junko. It’s all so graceless.

“Hope will prevail!” Naegi Makoto declares, without a sliver of irony nor doubt. Matsuda can hardly believe his own ears. “As long as you have hope, you can carry on no matter what!”

Junko curses him out, sputtering so pitifully that Matsuda feels a twinge of disbelief and resentment. Then, that disbelief shifted to incredulous anger.

This is it? This is all it fucking took? All this time? After everything?

Everything had been destroyed so goddamn thoroughly, he thought. Even with the Future Foundation’s best efforts, the world had showed no interest in turning away from despair. Every single day stuck under the same blood-red sky. Without fail. He knew it wouldn’t probably last like this once Junko died, but—to have her be defeated, and by some fucking guy in an oversized hoodie with his eyes and idealism too big for his stature, it was preposterous. It was asinine.

It was fucking infuriating.

Naegi Makoto’s ideals, his beliefs, his statements—they weren’t shit Matsuda had never heard before. Work hard and it’ll pay off. Be kind and the world will be kind in return. Fucking—things will get better, just have hope.

He’s heard it all before. He thought this world had finally, finally thoroughly demolished them.

And, yet. Here’s this guy—this kid, really, even if he’s technically only a year younger. With shining gaze and sincerity. Not being laughed at. Not being dismissed. Staring down Junko, with his classmates beside him. All standing tall, all refusing to be dissuaded from childish ideals that had only ever been trampled time and time again in Matsuda’s experience.

Just—what the actual hell? It doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t make any sense at all.

Then, the headmaster’s daughter gives that kid a title. A title that leaves everything already crumbled at Matsuda’s feet utterly decimated.

“Ultimate Hope.”

His jaw locks.

It’s a joke. It has to be a fucking joke. This whole thing can’t be real. I’m dreaming. I have to be.

“Hope? HOPE?!” Junko screeches, so high-pitched that it hurts over the loud speakers. There are other shrieks. Matsuda is numb.

They don’t remember, he thinks. They couldn’t possibly know. This kind of irony is—it’s too fucking much for it to be real. There’s no way this is real.

His nails dig into his arm. It doesn’t do much good. It wouldn’t have done good under normalized circumstances after the world imploded into chaos under Junko’s direction and reign. It’s been far, far too long since he’s felt pain normally.

“I refuse to give up,” Naegi Makoto had said. His voice rose more and more with each breath. “I refuse to get bored! I refuse to throw it all away! I refuse to despair! Because all I have going for me is the desire to keep moving forward!”

It was a display of stupid fucking hope, alright. Naïve and unadulterated, and Matsuda felt his stomach churn. But rather than throw up, from his chest came a burst of laughter.

“You claim there's no hope left in the world. But if despair is contagious like you say, then so is hope!”

It’s such simple fucking logic that what can he do but laugh and laugh?

He’s got you there, doesn’t he, Junko? Doesn’t he?!

His laughter only gets worse when he sees the unimpressed twitch in Junko’s displeased expression. How her lips curl into a snarl. Matsuda Yasuke laughs so hard at it all that tears bead in his eyes.

All this time—all this fucking time, it was that fucking simple! Who knew?! Who the hell knew?! We wasted so much fucking time! So many fucking people died! And this is what it all culminated in! Some fucking bright-eyed brat just adamantly refusing to give up!

He’s curled up, clutching his gut as his entire body quakes with mirth.

So what have we learned today? Matsuda wonders, covering his mouth and muffling his giggles. That sometimes—shit really is just that fucking simple! God, what the hell have we all been doing? Just what—what the hell have we been doing?

He can hear Junko laugh, too. He’s not surprised she’s also amused. Hell, she’s probably ecstatic to fail this fucking hard and this fucking embarrassingly on live television. Don’t they all feel utterly ridiculous right now? Matsuda nearly coughs up a lung from how much he’s been laughing.

And then, he realizes what’s going to happen now that Junko’s been so devastatingly defeated and humiliated. The only thing left for them all to do to escape this horrific embarrassment of a realization. Matsuda quiets immediately. He blinks up at the screen.

No.

That idiot kid, that Ultimate Hope, is offering Junko his hand. His expression is soft and sympathetic. It’s so disgusting that Matsuda’s not even surprised that Junko violently recoils at the sight of it. He’d flinch, too. He’s not surprised at all, but he still finds himself denying the inevitability, hoping against hoping.

No, no, no, no.

Junko is smiling. Grinning. Beaming. Her eyes are the same chaotic swirl that tore the world asunder. Her teeth are showing, sharp and euphoric.

Please, no.

She slams her hand happily on the button, and Matsuda hears a scream of her name. It only registers vaguely in the back of his mind that he’s the one screaming.

“JUNKO!”

Of course no matter how much he screamed, he begged, he prayed that things would turn out differently—nothing would change. Nothing at all. No matter how much he had wanted to and hoped he’d save her, it would always lead to this, to Junko happily embracing her own self-destruction and him helpless and only able to watch.

Watch as she smiles, smiles, smiles her way through execution after execution. It’s the biggest show yet, drawn out and grand. She’s never been happier. He’s never seen her happier. He’s never even truly see her happy until this moment.

Each slam of the compactor against the ground is more deafening than the last as Junko cheerfully sits on the conveyor belt towards. She flashes a peace sign. Matsuda remembers what this execution was themed after.

What did we all learn today?

Junko gets crushed with a loud, sickening squelch. There is a moment of baffled, horrified silence, but it’s not long before the screaming and sobbing begin. People are wailing, beating the ground in disbelief. Matsuda blinks tiredly, taking it all in. And the feed just—it keeps going. He sees the shaken survivors, he sees them steel themselves, passing each other reassuring stares. Some of them even hold hands, squeezing before they just, all shuffle away. Exit stage right.

The feed continues, because it has to be shut off manually. Someone breaks the screen. There’s rampaging. Matsuda can only hold himself steady, so tightly that he could’ve torn himself open.

It had all been so simple. So obvious. And, yet...

He felt sick. So, so sick.

I want to rip my ears off.

#yasuke matsuda #makoto naegi #junko enoshima #Magi fics #yasukematsudaweek2020

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theomnilegent · 5 years

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2019 Upcoming LGBTQA Fiction I’m Excited For!

A new year, a new top nine for women-lead LGBT fiction I’m looking forward to reading! There are, of course, a great many more books than the nine I’ve chosen this time ‘round - I think I will eventually make a part two to this post. I am so, so happy to see that this year we have even more diversity, even more stories about characters from all walks of life, from different parts of the LGBTQA umbrella, and even more LGBT novels. I remember a time where it’d be hard to find more than two YA novels with LGBT themes published in a single year - and now we have so many amazing works coming out!

The themes for 2019 seem to be gay witches, space gays, and explorations of mental illness in the LGBT community. I am so excited to read stories about girls and magic! I am more excited to read stories about girls and love! And I am definitely excited to see multiple books seriously addressing the issues of mental illness in young lesbian and bisexual women - it is a serious topic that has often been glossed over in the past, and to see multiple works that want to tackle these issues, and the issues of toxic relationships, in a healthy way is refreshing.

Below you’ll find titles, summaries, and goodreads links.

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki Laura Dean, the most popular girl in high school, was Frederica Riley's dream girl: charming, confident, and SO cute. There's just one problem: Laura Dean is maybe not the greatest girlfriend. Reeling from her latest break up, Freddy's best friend, Doodle, introduces her to the Seek-Her, a mysterious medium, who leaves Freddy some cryptic parting words: break up with her. But Laura Dean keeps coming back, and as their relationship spirals further out of her control, Freddy has to wonder if it's really Laura Dean that's the problem. Maybe it's Freddy, who is rapidly losing her friends, including Doodle, who needs her now more than ever. Fortunately for Freddy, there are new friends, and the insight of advice columnists like Anna Vice to help her through being a teenager in love.

Starworld by Audrey Coulthurst & Paula Garner Sam Jones and Zoe Miller have one thing in common: they both want an escape from reality. Loner Sam flies under the radar at school and walks on eggshells at home to manage her mom’s obsessive-compulsive disorder, wondering how she can ever leave to pursue her dream of studying aerospace engineering. Popular, people-pleasing Zoe puts up walls so no one can see her true self: the girl who was abandoned as an infant, whose adoptive mother has cancer, and whose disabled brother is being sent away to live in a facility. When an unexpected encounter results in the girls’ exchanging phone numbers, they forge a connection through text messages that expands into a private universe they call Starworld. In Starworld, they find hilarious adventures, kindness and understanding, and the magic of being seen for who they really are. But when Sam’s feelings for Zoe turn into something more, will the universe they’ve built survive the inevitable explosion?

The Lost Coast by Amy Rose Capetta Danny didn't know what she was looking for when she and her mother spread out a map of the United States and Danny put her finger down on Tempest, California. What she finds are the Grays: a group of friends who throw around terms like queer and witch like they're ordinary and everyday, though they feel like an earthquake to Danny. But Danny didn't just find the Grays. They cast a spell that calls her halfway across the country, because she has something they need: she can bring back Imogen, the most powerful of the Grays, missing since the summer night she wandered into the woods alone. But before Danny can find Imogen, she finds a dead boy with a redwood branch through his heart. Something is very wrong amid the trees and fog of the Lost Coast, and whatever it is, it can kill. Lush, eerie, and imaginative, Amy Rose Capetta's tale overflows with the perils and power of discovery �� and what it means to find your home, yourself, and your way forward.

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi Sana Khan is a cheerleader and a straight A student. She's the classic (somewhat obnoxious) overachiever determined to win. Rachel Recht is a wannabe director who's obsesssed with movies and ready to make her own masterpiece. As she's casting her senior film project, she knows she's found the perfect lead - Sana. There's only one problem. Rachel hates Sana. Rachel was the first girl Sana ever asked out, but Rachel thought it was a cruel prank and has detested Sana ever since. Told in alternative viewpoints and inspired by classic romantic comedies, this engaging and edgy YA novel follows two strongwilled young women falling for each other despite themselves.

The Meaning of Birds by Jaye Robin Brown Before, Jessica has always struggled with anger issues, but come sophomore year that all changes when Vivi crashes into her life. As their relationship blossoms, Vivi not only helps Jess deal with her pain, she also encourages her to embrace her talent as an artist. And for the first time, it feels like the future is filled with possibilities. After In the midst of senior year, Jess’s perfect world is erased when Vivi suddenly passes away. Reeling from the devastating loss, Jess pushes everyone away, and throws out her plans to go to art school. Because art is Vivi and Vivi is gone forever. Desperate for an escape, Jess gets consumed in her work-study program, letting all of her dreams die. Until she makes an unexpected new friend who shows her a new way to channel her anger, passion, and creativity. Although Jess may never draw again, if she can find a way to heal and room in her heart, she just might be able to forge a new path for herself without Vivi.

The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum Ryann Bird dreams of traveling across the stars. But a career in space isn’t an option for a girl who lives in a trailer park on the wrong side of town. So Ryann becomes her circumstances and settles for acting out and skipping school to hang out with her delinquent friends. One day she meets Alexandria: a furious loner who spurns Ryann’s offer of friendship. After a horrific accident leaves Alexandria with a broken arm, the two misfits are brought together despite themselves—and Ryann learns her secret: Alexandria’s mother is an astronaut who volunteered for a one-way trip to the edge of the solar system. Every night without fail, Alexandria waits to catch radio signals from her mother. And its up to Ryann to lift her onto the roof day after day until the silence between them grows into friendship, and eventually something more...

How It Feels To Float by Helena Fox Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom and the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, who loves her so hard, and who shouldn't be here but is. So Biz doesn't tell anyone anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn't tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was six. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface--normal okay regular fine. But after what happens on the beach--first in the ocean, and then in the sand--the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Dad disappears, and with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe--maybe maybe maybe--there's a third way Biz just can't see yet.

Going Off Script by Jen Wilde Seventeen-year-old Bex is thrilled when she gets an internship on her favorite tv show, Silver Falls. Unfortunately, the internship isn't quite what she expected... instead of sitting in a crowded writer's room volleying ideas back and forth, Production Interns are stuck picking up the coffee. Determined to prove her worth as a writer, Bex drafts her own script and shares it with the head writer―who promptly reworks it and passes it off as his own! Bex is understandably furious, yet...maybe this is just how the industry works? But when they rewrite her proudly lesbian character as straight, that's the last straw! It's time for Bex and her crush to fight back.

These Witches Don’t Burn by Isabel Sterling Hannah's a witch, but not the kind you're thinking of. She's the real deal, an Elemental with the power to control fire, earth, water, and air. But even though she lives in Salem, Massachusetts, her magic is a secret she has to keep to herself. If she's ever caught using it in front of a Reg (read: non-witch), she could lose it. For good. So, Hannah spends most of her time avoiding her ex-girlfriend (and fellow Elemental Witch) Veronica, hanging out with her best friend, and working at the Fly by Night Cauldron selling candles and crystals to tourists, goths, and local Wiccans. But dealing with her ex is the least of Hannah's concerns when a terrifying blood ritual interrupts the end-of-school-year bonfire. Evidence of dark magic begins to appear all over Salem, and Hannah's sure it's the work of a deadly Blood Witch. The issue is, her coven is less than convinced, forcing Hannah to team up with the last person she wants to see: Veronica. While the pair attempt to smoke out the Blood Witch at a house party, Hannah meets Morgan, a cute new ballerina in town. But trying to date amid a supernatural crisis is easier said than done, and Hannah will have to test the limits of her power if she's going to save her coven and get the girl, especially when the attacks on Salem's witches become deadlier by the day.

#queer fiction #wlw books #wlw literature #queer literature #lgbtqa literature #lgbt #book recommendations #yeah i'm gonna do this every year wlw books excite me

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migleefulmoments · 5 years

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I don't think anything of what the cc fandom posts anymore is "continued optimism". It looks like sheer terror that they're losing their game. Abby is in pure desperation mode, trying to rally the troops because she can see Darren's life is turning out to be nothing like she predicted. She can no longer validate that Darren NEEDS her, he keeps going against her. They're losing their grip. This isn't optimism, it's because everything Darren is doing equals Abby losing control of the narrative.

I agree with that they were in panic mode since the wedding but the 72 hours or so after Hollywood was announced they were euphoric that this was proof that Darren would be coming out soon. That has worn off already and they are back to their normal crap but for a few days, they were giddy. They were even speaking about a divorce in very near future.

I am going on record, I like AW and I like her a lot. She is team D, I really have no doubt and everything she is showing is that she is on his side and around to protect him often and frequently.

Yes she is giving us the illusion that she and PBB are besties that love to take intimate photos together but in reality she is showcasing exactly who M is, how much she lacks chemistry with D, some really not so pretty moments behind the scenes btwn D&M (there was some golden footage from European trip number 1 includng that video from the fireworks where E is all snuggled into her man and D&M look like virtual strangers), she flew to that island to babysit, and she announced the business family honeymoon.

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.

AW is team d. She is a hard working, extremely successful men’s stylist with a pretty impressive client list at this point. And while she would absolutely have loyalty toward D, as she built her career styling him, she should not be this involved. A friend just reminded me that her other client, FW is currently promoting the J/udy Ga/rland movie. That is something AW usually would accompany her clients to, she follows D everywhere. yet no one questions why instead of being with FW she spent 2 days in a row with PBB.

I think she and d are working together and i believe she provides d with comfort. She babysits M, she works as a buffer, and unlike so many other enablers, she has D’s back. She is smart, she knows how to play M and her stans. On the surface she looks like she might almost be in love with M (seriously she has way more chemistry with her than D), but it is all a mirage, done for show. And if you look behind a lot of what she posts, it is harmful to m/iarren.

I know I have repeated the same think a lot over the past 48 hours, but I am so scared to allow myself to believe that change is ahead. And i got burned with ACS because I BELIEVED with my entire being this was the beginning of change and then everything escalated to full on disaster. But I still think no one got burned more than D&C because I am fairly certain they thought change was ahead as well.(Again the narcissism just has to rear it’s ugly head).

But I cannot stop myself from being optimistic and it is not just the RM partnership. It is the totality of the circumstances. It is watching the past 7 months since the sham mockery. It is seeing how they past 7 months were designed solely to promote her, not D, and done mainly using people only seen by fandom (her employees/friends, SK, PBB’s team). She got the massive exposure and the press from the “wedding” and some RCs as the “wife” but not much more and has now been relegated to mainly being promoted by the aforementioned. And that is only seen by fandom. Add, for the past several months, D himself has hardly tried. A random good pic here and there, but otherwise he orchestrated group honeymoons, barely touched her even when kissing, the jerk, bitch glare, the back turn. D has gained nothing until now. He certainly did not do this for a show he sold 3 years ago that is being written by, like them or not, Hwood novices. I hardly think he needed a wife to score the TB commercial. And SA doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who cares who d’s partner is, it was just a great collaboration.

And here we are, September, D is filming R/oyalties and we get the announcement that he is collaborating with RM again, not just as the star, but exec producer of a show that largely involves, based on early press, LGBT+ themes. And I have to HOPE.

The stage is set. D “married” her. He has been set up to take the blame as well as his team, thereby absolving RM. And it would make a lot of sense for RM to now step in and play the “hero.” We know the truth. D and C know the truth. But RM has the power to smooth what is going to be a difficult narrative to navigate. And it is a win for D&C and a win for RM. The m/iarrens are going to be devastated, as they are so invested in being right and D being straight (No we aren’t)(again the narcissism and her soul-crushing need to be right-is this about Darren or Abby?). And even if we just get a separation it will all be questioned. Because M is the only thing that makes him straight (not true, Darren identifying as straight is what makes him straight). Everything else points at the opposite. Add the press has not helped him at all on his path to come out, so it is going to be difficult to navigate. Having the “king of television” in his corner speaks volumes.

And then there is his horrific, abusive, incompetent team. And they haven’t just fucked with him, it seems with their no queer article they fucked with RM.(Huh? What?) I really hope they live to regret it.

Karma is a bitch.. May she rear her ugly head and finally give these people what they deserve. If i am sitting here a year from now and nothing has changed, I will be heartbroken for him. And wonder if maybe he did choose career. I just can’t believe that is who he is. I think he is a fighter and everything he has ever shown confirms that (DELUSION-ville) thought even if there was some confusion when the fraud in NOLA first occurred.

Here is hoping nonnie. Here is hoping.

I think a major decision like this was made together.

Read the book when it comes out in Oct 1. I thought c references RM. now I’m near positive.

And Hwood itself was initially announced in February. I immediately thought this was the project RM was cooking up (curious if FW and CF join the cast). But then there was silence for months,

And the first 8 months of 2019 were a complete shitshow that included that absolute fiasco in NOLA, excessive PBB promo, ads, ads, ads, TB, and SK. Not a single one of which were worthy of D’s time and attention. And to all onlookers, we were dazed and confused. utterly and completely and not sure what to think or believe.

But putting the pieces together prior to last nights announcement, logically and rationally looking at everything, it seems to me that finally D was tying up loose ends. While I do think D himself was dazed and confused in the first few weeks after that fraud occurred, it has been clear to me that starting with the work family group honeymoon (I think of all the arrows to m/iarren that have been shot, this might be my favorite) something shifted. How anyone can not see that that woman was being way over promoted is beyond me (Because “promotion isn’t a thing, Abby”). But clearly the 1st 8 months of 2019 were devoted to giving her everything and anything she ever wanted. Add in SK, the biggest enablers, that are being rewarded, first by raising an obnoxious amount of cash, and now with R/oyalties with D’s writers being his partners in the business. All of these things are massive pay out.

And last night we get this announcement from D.

notes-from-nowhere

do you want to know what I find very intriguing in all of this? The fact that all of that has been said in this topic pretty much sums up what we have said in the last 15 months if not more.

The latest news only uncovers the thread that keep all of “out theories” together. Of course something might be wrong, misplaced or misunderstood but the big picture is there for all to see (No, you don’t say?).

I do think it is too soon for me to fully embrace the idea that finally things are on the right path but well, please, excuse me for my optimism after a year and a half of struggle.

I’m going to root for D to have back his life and to finally be free to make his own choices. I hope this career advancement (or for better wording: this career extension) will give him what he wants and the power to just be his fully self and spread his wings.

I will watch what’s unfold in front of my eyes with interest from now on and a reneview wave of hope.

I do trust D is going to take the best decision ever among those available to him. My only fear is that those options may not be the one I hope for him but all I can do right now is wait and see. Hope for the best and expect the worst. Is the wiser thing I can do

ajw720

@notes-from-nowhere it’s impossible to not be skeptical. I didn’t see that “wedding” a 1000 miles away. (SMH) I care way too much (a me problem). I felt like my heart broke that day and I need to take care of me and be cautious. But I’m leaning this is good and I do think the public evidence to date supports this.

This is what euphoria looks like in cc fandom.

It’s interesting that she convinced herself this is Darren coming out when she thought he would come out during Hedwig based on this:

He and C were very relaxed, joking at interviews when G/lee was ending, both in France at the same time, the C/ol-Fur joke, the repeated telling of mandate. Everything seemed to point to a positive resolution. C even scheduled his book tour to be finished the day prior to d’s last performance. and then D was nominated for an emmy and everything seemed to shift and spun out of control and here we are, 4 years later.

She “rationally analyzes” the data and comes to the conclusion he’s coming out rather than understanding he’s just living his life.

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unrepentantgeek · 5 years

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Undertale AU backstories

Does anyone else think about how/why things are different in Undertale AUs that aren’t just a different setting or just different circumstances? Because I can’t help but wonder about the possible reasons for the differences if that timeline isn’t just LIKE that.

Like what about Underswap? Maybe Sans wanted to keep his brother happy so badly he leant into his immature side to cheer Papyrus up so intensely his interest in science took a backseat. Que a grateful, protective Papyrus who did everything he could to play to his strengths out of determination to look after and protect the big brother who did so much to make sure he was happy. Or maybe there was an accident, and Sans wasn’t the same after. Whether Gaster is still a scientist or not would probably be a pretty big factor in said differences. Regarding smaller things ‘classic’ Papyrus’ actual favorite food is the variant of oatmeal with dinosaur eggs right? So it’s far from far fetched that a more laid back Papyrus would be unrepentant about indulging his sweet tooth. Depending on what sort of sway you go for there are a various different ways that could play out, like Gaster and Gerson switching places. Maybe Undyne started out just trying to recreate the robots & weapons from anime & Alphys either decided to do her best to be like the warrior women in anime she crushed on or wanted to protect Undyne. Maybe an accident or a lack of whatever took Unyne’s eye led to Undyne or both her & Alphys growing up differently. Or maybe one or both of them wound up with different mentors. Maybe Asgore regretted his rash decision upon his childrens’ deaths before Toriel left in the normal timeline while Toriel was consumed by her anger & latched onto his plan instead of being disgusted by it. Maybe she brought up her “kill one and cross the barrier to get the rest of the souls” plan, only it took long enough for Asgore’s regret to set in or she kept holding out for an adult human. Or maybe whatever happened to Asriel in this timeline changed them long before Frisk came along. Muffet’s easy, she’s canonically deeply concerned over and protective of her kin. Maybe she’s in Snowdin to be closer to the kin trapped in the ruins and unable to simply go through cracks in the door due to the freezing temperatures? I don’t think there would be too much difference, but giving into that softer side could easily change her just enough to be more pleasant and someone I can easily imagine Papyrus enjoying being around. Grillby... well, maybe in ‘classic’ Undertale he was originally from Hotland. The lack of whatever had him living in Snowdin meant he never left. Personality wise... either said influence involved something bad happening and he’s more cheerful without that tragedy or horror to influence his life, or he put on a cheerful front instead

Then there’s Underfell. Maybe most of the time in non Fell timelines Asgore didn’t usually end up killing the humans himself, which left him in his normal senses to grieve the little humans alongside his own lost children & his damaged relationship with his wife. Or maybe in Underfell they weren’t usually children and things played out differently. Either way the result of the difference is a timeline where instead of guilt, grief and loneliness eating away at him Asgore is left vulnerable to the mental corruption that comes with LV, and since he’s the ruler of the Monster Kingdom the result is an angry, damaged Underground. Toriel? My best guess would be that she wound up with severe trauma from staying long enough to see the first death. Or a mix of trauma, LV, and guilt. Let’s start simply for the others. Undyne, fierce from the start, falls to this mindset easily. Rashly rushing into a fight and taking a ‘shoot first ask questions later’ mindset is already easy for her, add LV to the mix and you have a much harsher, angrier Undyne. To the point that maybe she either forgets the good intentions of her youth or ends up disgusted at what she’s become and guilt ridden. (I’ve seen a fic where Fell!Undyne is a traitor completely against the way the Fellverse Royal Guard operates, and ever since I’ve been intrigued by the idea of Fell!Undyne going in the opposite direction of the angrier, harsher persona most Fell iterations go for. Alphys is a gentle, anxious soul who just wants to help normally. Maybe LV messes her up too. Maybe rather than LV due to either desperation or orders she can’t ignore she takes her experiments farther & farther until she can’t handle it, until the only things left that could be the personal consequences were something cracking and warping in her or falling down. Muffet was already pretty ruthless and fierce, and protecting her kin would probably have been harder in this harsher environment. Or maybe something horrific happened to some of her kin? Grillby, a lot of people just write as angrier & harsher or indifferent, with his flames as purple. But what if it’s the opposite? With the background and personality many like giving Grillby it’s so easy to see him disliking the way the Underground slowly warps. Oh, maybe at first he’s like most Fellverse portrays him. But as he gets more discouraged by the way things are and more emotionally exhausted, he’s metaphorically and possibly magically drained until his flames run a much cooler red rather than any of the colors more natural for a fire monster. Sans & Papyrus, I’m going off the usual assumption that Gaster is their father. I don’t see Gaster changing too much no matter the timeline. Angrier and harsher, perhaps. But certainly not enough to be someone to treat his loved ones poorly. So maybe the problem there is that he gets absorbed in his experiments to the point he accidentally neglects his sons, or maybe depending on what the original home environment was he’s so busy he doesn’t notice their other parent either being too harsh or being outright abusive until it’s too late to salvage his boys’ mental and emotional state properly. Or maybe he’s even closer to how he normally is than you’d figure & Sans & Papyrus are bullied due to a home environment that should otherwise have left them to mostly grow as they did in ‘classic’ Undertale. The rest is at least alluded to in canon, as far as the Skeleton Brothers go: a harsher environment & harder personalities or higher stress due to said harsher environment result in turbulent squabbles that scar Papyrus & loses Sans a tooth. Being the dutiful big brother when Papyrus is more violent, competent & bossy he quietly accepts doing Papyrus’ bidding while still protecting him from the shadows. Maybe it’s that simple- or maybe Sans regrets hurting Papyrus so badly he sees being subservient in public as a way to make up for things. It could even simply their way of protecting each other in a world that would almost gladly see them dead. I see that in some of the Fellverse stuff that doesn’t fall into the ‘abusive Fell!Papyrus trope. (I’m a total sucker for the ‘Fell Papyrus isn’t abusive & they actually care just as much as the other iterations’ trope. I will absolutely do as much reaching as needed to keep my adorably loving and supportive familial relationship.)

Most of the other AUs are purely superficial differences or self explanatory, so that just leaves Echotale since I don’t know enough about the AU that has both a G!Sans and a G!Papyrus. There’s not much to speculate on for Echotale, since most stuff is going to be exactly the same or is literally just the basis of the AU. For one thing, maybe Frisk is older or younger when they go to Mount Ebbot? It’s also entirely possibly that this is ‘classic’ Undertale Frisk growing up in a different environment, which might involve descendents of mages or either military personnel or politicians high enough in status to be able to act on their paranoia the legends incite. (Of course the latter two would probably involve evidence or rumors indicating the legends are more than just legends.) Otherwise, the only other real difference i can see is Gaster being around. Maybe he never built the machine found in Sans’ basement/fell in the Core? (People say the former instead once in a while right?) Or maybe he simply didn’t fall in or was saved. Whether Sans keeps up with science in this timeline or still mostly leaves it behind is something I think best left up to personal interpretation.

#undertale #undertale au #Headcanon #Speculation

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makeste · 6 years

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BnHA Chapter 031: Just How Many Kids Am I Gonna Have to Adopt

Previously on BnHA: Bakugou went on a roaring rampage of revenge. The once-mighty class B ate some humble pie and got shut out of the finals. Tokoyami was the fucking MVP and kept Team Deku’s hopes alive at the last second. Todoroki used his Arm That Reminds Him of His Dad Who He Hates for a half second and had instant angst. He, Deku, Baku, and the mind control guy with purple hair advanced to the final round along with their teammates. Todo and Deku went off to have a private chitchat while their dads met up in a random hallway.

Today on BnHA: Todoroki thinks All Might is Deku’s dad (but is he wrong?). He then tells Deku all about his dad, who is terrible. And his childhood, which is also terrible. And his scar, which, you guessed it -- terrible. All Might and Endeavor have their own separate conversation during which Endeavor is, wait for it... terrible. Deku has no idea how to respond to any of this, so he affectionately declares war. Bakugou listens in on the whole thing because of course he does. I basically lose all of my shit and then some and I’m not gonna pretend like I didn’t.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 68 now, so any ETAs will reflect that. Although there is one ETA here that was written the day after I read the chapter and is noted as such.)

well hello there Todoroki! are you about to become my third adopted son from this series, because it’s getting a bit crowded tbh. but you’re all good boys, so. it’s hard to say no to you

finally some more info about this guy!

his mouth is relatively ill-mannered? I haven’t gotten that vibe from him

(ETA: and I still haven’t? like is he using the wrong kind of keigo or something and I just never noticed or what)

Todoroki’s burn scar: dot dot dot. except that this is one of the few things I think I might have accidentally spoiled myself for, because there was a gif making the rounds a while back that I happened to see accidentally. which is my own damn fault, and it’s not like it’s other people’s job to keep me from getting spoiled. if anything this taught me to take extra care now that I’m at the point where I know and recognize the majority of the cast, and am thus more potentially spoiler-literate than I was before

anyway

(ETA: haha so let me just explain here. I actually was not spoiled, but I thought I was. what happened was that I saw a gif of Todoroki lying on the ground and then his flames slowly ignited, starting from around his left eye right where his scar is, and then expanding to cover the scar. and I thought, oh, that must be what happened originally before he learned to control it! hence, burn scar! little did I know that was not the case at all and that the actual story was so. much. worse. omg. but the whole thing really set me up to be properly shocked, so.)

he apparently is another one who’s not immune to his own abilities! he has to use his left side to regulate the temperature changes from the right so he doesn’t give himself frostbite or anything like that

“if he uses his left side for too long”... yeah I’m pretty sure I did spoil myself there lmao. we’ll see, I guess

IZUKU: “you wanted to talk?” TODOROKI: [GLARES]

well this is off to a smashing good start

there goes Deku comparing everyone and everything to Kacchan once again! Todoroki apparently has “a much colder sort of intimidation”

“you overwhelmed me. so much that I broke my own pledge.” it’s kind of a stupid pledge, honestly, Todo

whoa hold up

did this kid just fucking put two and two together and actually come up with four

“I felt the same pressure coming from you.” hahaha! you don’t say! :’D

WOW he’s SO DAMN CLOSE

I’m pretty sure he’s not! he supposedly does have an actual bio dad somewhere out there, but we’ve never seen him and he doesn’t seem to be around! but!! aside from that, All Might did pass down his quirk and he has adopted him now, so! I’m gonna give him close to full marks for accuracy!

motherfucker, Deku is going off on some meandering rant of denial and it’s possibly the least convincing thing I’ve ever seen

lol Deku. at this point maybe just shut up

now he’s asking why Todoroki thought that. well I guess it must be because he himself is the son of a famous hero, right?

oh shit

yeah, come to think, it really does imply the existence of a “but” there, huh

now he’s telling Izu that his dad is Endeavor. would Izuku have already known that, what with the degree to which he tends to stalk his favorite heroes? the number two hero having a son his own age definitely seems like the type of factoid he would have made a note of

“all the more reason for me to crush you.” boys, no. :( why are all of my sons so antagonistic toward each other

cut to All Might and Endeavor!

All Might is being super nice so naturally Endeavor basically tells him to shove it!

hey, Endeavor! get fucked!!

DAMMIT ALL MIGHT STOP MAKING ME LOVE YOU EVEN MORE

he’s talking about how Todoroki (or “little Shouto” as he calls him... what was the Japanese equivalent? don’t tell me it was Shouto-chan) (ETA: nope, just the same -shounen suffix he uses for all of his kids) won the round even without using his left side, and says that “someone has been raising him well”

are you guys going to have a battle of who is the best dad

?! All Might is asking him for tips on how to dad?

All Might, maybe he’s not the best guy to ask? unless you’re going for a “how to make your son hate your guts” thing here

oh. whoa. hold the fuck up

[PULLS THE CAR AROUND!!] I’VE MADE UP MY MIND, SHOUTO, YOU’RE ADOPTED. HERE, YOU CAN PUT ALL YOUR THINGS IN THE TRUNK, AND I’VE BROUGHT YOU A TEDDY BEAR. TAKE IT EASY, KID, EVERYTHING’S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT

ENDEAVOR YOU ARE ALSO CANCELLED. I’M SERVING YOU PAPERS. BY THE WAY, I HATE THAT STUPID MUSTACHE

All Might is all, “wut”

lmao I just realized he basically went up to Endeavor and was like “can you give me some advice” and Endeavor’s response was basically, “FUCK YOU!! NO!!! I HATE YOU!! ALSO!!!! MY SON WILL BE BETTER THAN YOU AND THAT’S THE ONLY REASON I HAVE A SON IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!”

and he said all of this while being, just... on fire. just all over the fucking place

what a weird conversation, is my point

he says Todoroki is a “rebellious little brat”, but that he’ll make him surpass All Might

wowwwwwwwwwww. CANCELLED. SO FUCKING CANCELLED

back to Shouto! Shouto we’re on a first name basis now

his dad basically embodies the worst of all this pro hero crap. the complete antithesis of All Might

All Might. bud, hold up. we need to sit down and discuss. there are three of them now, All Might. we need to do everything we can to make sure that none of these impressionable young kids ends up going down the wrong path and ending up like this salty fuck. I apologize for my language, All Might, but this is serious stuff. I know Katsuki is pretty rambunctious, but he has a good heart underneath it all, I’m sure of it. Deku is a good influence on him. now, I don’t know what kind of emotional damage this new one has been dealt, but he seems all right so far, so we just need to make sure he stays on track and makes some good friends, and is doing all this because he wants to be, and not because his POS father tells him it’s what he’s supposed to do

-- oh sorry guys I went off track there

so anyway, Shouto is telling Deku all about his horrible dad who wanted to be better than All Might but wasn’t better than All Might (AND HE COULD NEVER!!!!)

so he “came up with another plan.” oh honey ;_;

Deku apparently doesn’t have any idea why Shouto is telling him all this, because he’s still relatively new to this shounen protagonist stuff, and it’s his first tragic backstory. hush and just listen for a sec, Deku

“quirk marriages” fucking shit we’re really getting into fucking eugenics now. that got real heavy real fast

so basically Shouto’s dad forced his mom’s family to agree to marry their daughter to him. WOW. WOW

now Deku has shut up and looks properly horrified

I’m glad he understands that his father is a total piece of shit, though. like, good. good fucking show, Shouto, you keep it up

“as I remember it, mom was always crying...” ;_;

-- WHAT

WHAT.

DEKU. YOU AND ME ARE TWO OF A KIND HERE

FUCKING WHAT. SO YOU’RE TELLING ME BOTH PARENTS WERE ABUSIVE. DAD IS A NARCISSISTIC ASSHOLE WHILE MOM TOOK HER OWN HORRIFICALLY SHITTY SITUATION OUT ON HER FUCKING CHILD, WHICH IS NOT FUCKING OKAY NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES, AND ABUSED HIM EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY. HOLY FUCKING SHIT

I APPARENTLY WAS NOT, IN FACT, SPOILED BY THAT GIF, THANK GOODNESS

YEAH THIS CAME TOTALLY OUT OF LEFT FUCKING FIELD FOR ME TBH

SHIT

poor Deku really does look so shaken up all of a sudden. like, he has the best mom in the world, who loves him so much even without him having a quirk (as far as she knows). and then along comes this cool kid who seems to have it all, but in fact his home life was horrific and abusive, and he just came up and told Deku all of this out of the blue lol, and I say lol, but I’m not actually lol, you guys, I’m so not lol

okay. okay, dude, I get it. but! I still think that if you were to go ahead and use it, it would still be fine, because in the end you are not him, you’re not his tool, you are you, and you can go ahead and be as incredible of a hero as you want, and it’ll be in spite of Endeavor and certainly not because of him

(ETA: this is basically exactly what Deku ended up telling him. only I bet you I could have done it without dramatically ripping every fucking limb in my body to shreds. but hey, you know, shounens gonna shounen)

does U.A. have counseling. aside from All Might, who to be fair does try his best. but like, real counseling

because if not, they should. have counseling

-- !!!!!!!!!!!!

[AUDIBLE GASPING SOUNDS, I LITERALLY GASPED IN REAL LIFE???!!!!]

KATSUKI OH MY GOD. SURE, GET IN ON THIS. OF COURSE YOU WERE LISTENING, NO FUCKING WAY DEKU AND TODOROKI GO OFF ON THEIR OWN AND YOU DON’T NOTICE AND SLINK OFF TO FOLLOW THEM AND EAVESDROP. BUT I BET YOU WEREN’T EXPECTING THAT, WERE YOU

ARE YOU HAVING FEELINGS OF EMPATHY?? I HOPE TO GOD THIS IS HELPING YOU WITH YOUR EMPATHY MY ANGRY SON

LESSON ONE: DON’T BE LIKE ENDEAVOR!!

LESSON TWO: JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE COOL AND STRONG AND POWERFUL DOESN’T MEAN YOUR LIFE IS AUTOMATICALLY GONNA BE GREAT

LESSON THREE: I’M JUST CURIOUS, WERE YOU LISTENING IN ON THE “IS ALL MIGHT YOUR DAD” PART OF IT TOO?????

OH MY GOD

[shaking out hands to dispel all of my crazy excited nervous energy] oh my god. deep breath. okay

s-sigh. okay, Deku. now you have to say something, okay? don’t think about it too much, just. say something back to him, dude

oh shit Shouto’s walking off now. DEKU YOU DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING!!!!

also!! Shouto mentioned the All Might connection again, so even if Katsuki hadn’t heard him the first time, he definitely heard him now

ugh I’m SO FUCKING DYING TO KNOW just how much Kacchan has actually put together when it comes to the “Deku received his powers from All Might” thing and it drives me fucking crazy and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to get answers any fucking time soon. this manga has been good to me so far, but not that good

(ETA: this is a next day ETA! like, just to be clear, I haven’t read any additional chapters yet. but I was thinking on this some more, and basically I’ve come to the conclusion that Katsuki must know. the thing is, I keep forgetting just how insanely thorough Horikoshi is when it comes to his attention to detail. and I just can’t see him going out of his way to show Katsuki within earshot of a conversation like this, twice (here and on the bus to USJ), and not have that lead up to anything. yes, Katsuki has shown himself to be fairly oblivious to a lot of the goings-on surrounding him if it doesn’t involve him directly. but we’ve also seen that he absolutely does pay attention if the matter involves Deku. and he showed during the fight with Kurogiri and the rest that he’s definitely clever enough to pick up on subtle clues and connect the dots. and the thing is, the thing with Deku getting his power from All Might is not subtle at all. it’s the most obvious fucking thing ever, so obvious that two of Deku’s other classmates have come close to figuring it all out even without any hints. and neither of them had Deku literally come up to them and say “I got my quirk from someone else, but I can’t say from who.” yeah, Bakugou didn’t seem to understand it at the time. but he’s had time to process it since, and I just can’t see any way he wouldn’t have made the connection by now. so until we’re shown otherwise, I’m going to operate under this assumption from now on.)

(ETA 2: as of chapter 68, this is still up in the air! so I stand by it! I’m putting it out there!)

-- DEKU IS SAYING SOMETHING!!!! DEKUUUUU

and he says he’ll repay everyone who helped him by becoming the best

“let me return your declaration of war with my own.” awww. “declaration of war” isn’t really the best description for it lol. not when it’s being done like this

;_;

a healing shounen bond of determination is born

meanwhile Kacchan’s still listening in but doesn’t say anything. last time he got upset because they were having a rivalry without him. I wonder if he’s gonna let them have this thing for themselves this time around

don’t worry Kacchan, no matter what happens you’ll always be Deku’s number one rival. seriously, no matter how many other people he goes around declaring war on, you’re the one that fucking inspires him and lights that crazy fire in him and spurs him on to do crazy things and be amazing. you and All Might. but he’s not in love with All Might

lunch break is over. I wonder if they ever got to eat lunch

lol I’m so checked out of the sports festival now. I just want these three to go get ice cream together and chill

apparently they prepared some sort of “recreational activity” for the kids that didn’t end up making it to the final

um. what

I’m hovering my hand over the “cancel” button once again, people. don’t make me do it

[REPEATEDLY SLAMS CANCEL BUTTON FURIOUSLY!!!!!]

...okay, we’re back to the actual plot now

YESSSS THIS IS WHAT I FUCKING HOPED FOR THE MOSTTT

I mean come on, you can’t have a fucking shounen tournament arc without a fucking tournament

wait a sec. I’m looking at these individual panels, and the only conclusion I can draw is that Aoyama and Ojiro were somehow on the purple haired guy’s team this entire time and I didn’t realize it?? how’d he manage that? (mind control. obviously.)

quick bold predictions: MY GIRL OCHAKO TAKES IT ALL. LET’S GOOOOOO

more seriously, Deku and Todoroki will obviously have to fight each other, most likely in the final. so Bakugou is probably out in the semi or quarterfinals. although I can’t picture him going up against Deku again this soon, and if the finale is going to be Deku and Shouto, having Baku fight Shouto first kind of takes away from that, I feel? so maybe he won’t make it to the semifinals either. in which case probably the purple haired guy will, along with... MY GIRL OCHAKO. DID YOU NOT HEAR ME EARLIER. LET’S DO THIS. PLEASE. SOB

(ETA: honestly this tournament ended up surprising me at every turn. what a fucking ride)

BONUS:

STEEL RYOHEI!

Tetsutetsu is actually a pretty easy name to remember, but I just like calling him Steel Ryohei so much because I feel like it’s so fucking accurate

this guy really likes spinach

#bnha #boku no hero academia #makeste reads bnha #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #endeavor #all might #bakugou katsuki #this absolutely was my favorite chapter when I first read it #and it's still up there #this was pretty much when horikoshi came out and said 'oh so you thought this arc was gonna be about deku showing up?'#'nope'#'it's about TODOROKI. and his SAD LIFE'#'SAD TODOROKI ARC'#and I was like '!!!!!!!!!'#damn this was good

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