Tumgik
#most of these i color for instagram
kuriotea · 10 months
Text
sketch pile!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
137 notes · View notes
peaceandlove26 · 20 days
Text
Tumblr media
my scary and twisted headcanons
4K notes · View notes
dirtytransmasc · 6 months
Text
its so weird thinking about childhood best friends you don't know anymore. like. the girl and her siblings who lived next door for year, who I used to considered my sister, who now looking back on it was probably my first crush ever, who swore we would grow up together, who was only 'visiting' her family for a month, turns out her parents lied to us, I never saw her again. the girls I went to summer to summer camp with every year and now I can barely remember there faces.
like. how are they doing?
I still can't conceptualize that these people who mattered *so* much to me are just... gone... chances are that I will never see them again, especially my best friend who's back in Pakistan, and even if I did, so much time has passed that I would most likely not recognize them even if I did see them.
17 notes · View notes
un-pearable · 2 years
Text
tiny, scribbly, nigh-incomprensible teaser <3
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
69 notes · View notes
kathy-rah · 2 years
Text
5 months ago: Now:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The first one was drawn on my phone while now I draw on pc, so surely this helped me a lot already, but it's still nice to see the general improvement.
Keep exercising and trying out new things and styles! This the best way to improve and to create your own style.
Fun fact: I have only recently decided on my official nickname for signing the drawings
(눈_눈)
30 notes · View notes
doodlboy · 7 months
Text
Hoo boy, miserable in the club 2night lads
4 notes · View notes
chaos-and-chill · 9 months
Text
remembering that time i got into an argument with my eighth grade english teacher about the fact that “american pie” was NOT, in fact, a thanksgiving song about pie, but about the death of the american dream. she also used to play contemporary christian music in class as “gentle background noise”. one time we did open-ended response questions about edgar allan poe’s “the tell-tale heart” where one of the questions was “the gender of the narrator is left ambiguous, but most assume it was a man. if the narrator were a woman, who would your perception of the story change?” to which i said “if that’s the only change, it’s the same story, my perception wouldn’t change” and she wrote, quote, “it should. women are more emotional and men are more logical.” she also once heals me back after class to show me her teaching degree and ask if i had one.
3 notes · View notes
batsinurbelfrey · 10 months
Text
.
#laying here thinking about how 5 minutes before i called my dad yesterday to come out to him and talk gender#instagram glitched and in the little chat bubbles it showed me my dead mentor/friend was online.#it was the most worldstopping blood chilling glitch#she's been dead since 2016#she died before this feature even EXISTED#and yet. there she was. i watched her face pop up with that little green dot. i took a screenshot. and then after the longest two minutes#or so of my life. she vanished.#when i first sent the screenshot to tori i was so upset. being reminded of her and the loss of it all always makes me so sad#but then. as i was typing out my message i thought about how she was older. she was an adult but we were friends because she was my manager#at my HS retail job and she took a liking to me. we became incredibly close. she would always schedule me on her days & i even hung out wit#her and sometimes her young daughter outside of work. going to concerts and pool parties and the like.#but most importantly. she was the first ADULT in my life that clocked me as queer and was OKAY with that. that was supportive even.#she wanted me to be Myself and to be Loved for that. she flew out to SF for pride the first year i knew her [id only known her a few weeks#at this point as well] and when she came back she brought me a variety of rainbow-colored pride bracelets and a necklace and a shirt#she wanted me to have them since i didnt have anything like that yet. as my mom would never have allowed it#and i kept them hidden away and wore them to work and just.......felt so LOVED by her and she really helped me come into my identity when i#felt i couldnt at home. and......i am a FIRM non believer in ghosts or the afterlife or anything like that for the most part#but MAN if it didnt suddenly hit me all at once that like......#it almost felt like she could feel my heart beating out of my chest#scared to have this talk with my dad about my gender#and she reached out from beyond the grave to squeeze my hand and tell me it was gonna be ok.....#sure. it was probably just some weird glitch. but what a STRANGE glitch to happen#and what incredibly wild timing. both for When it Happened and also that i Saw It for the brief moment it was there.....#anyway. thats been on my mind for two full days now.#if it was you Jeni.........thanks. it went well. you were right#and.....i miss you.
2 notes · View notes
floralgoat · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
🃏
6 notes · View notes
camptw1nk · 2 months
Text
oh twitter bookmarks, facebook saved, instagram saved, tiktok bookmarks, tumblr likes, my beloveds (i will never ever open them again)
#be going 'oop ill save that for later' and then finding it in 3 yrs going 'wtf is this'#i still have bookmarks for belle parker. im not sure anyone here even remembers who that bitch is#she was my beloved my most babygirl oc in i think 2016-2018? ish?#she was the It Girl the Solo Blog the creator of the connected ocs universe#but i think the last time i wrote her was. Before Covid so its been a Hot Minute#but i still have stuff bookmarked in instagram in a little section just for her#if she ever comes back im ready for the edits#god she was the first (only?) time i edited icons to have a different hair color#but never permanently bc as we all know i never saved icons i made them as i went I'd write a reply then make the icon from scratch#awful method dont recommend it thats why i dont use icons really anymore#but i remember spending Hours editing purple hair on that bitch and the shade changed every single time#she was iconic tho. absolute queen. blueprint for every oc that came after her and im so serious#list any trait u have seen in a muse i write and i can probably trace it back 2 belle#if i looked back on her backstory im kinda convinced that she and cassie would have major crossover#belle had a twin brother. I think belle and cassie are the only time ive ever had twin ocs?#oh no wait there was my guy whos superpower was controlling glitter and his twin who could teleport and was evil#and the tweevils not ocs tho#do i have more twin ocs. genuinely no clue i am now only thinking ab 2016 era ocs i had#i think some of u may underestimate how little i remember ab my muses and blogs#if its not one of the it girl muses of the month (kurt jason cassie tate) then i can not tell u if they r on my multi or not. i dont know#obvi liam and cooper r special cases bc they technically have solo blogs rn#but at any given time u could just say i write someone that ive written in the past and I'll believe u
0 notes
simstrouble · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
Camila Hairstyle by simstrouble
This is how I make my own hair most of the time. Whatever the occasion, it always looks cute 🍷
Base Game Compatible
24 Swatches
All LODs, Hat Compatible, All Maps, 13k poly
Ombre Accessory found in Face Paint: 24 swatches + Color Wheel
Bead Clips found in Nose Ring, 25 swatches
4 Versions, shown below 👇🏼
Tumblr media
Download (Patreon, Free) | Instagram | Pinterest
9K notes · View notes
rafayelism · 3 months
Text
dating the love and deepspace boys | domestic moments
featuring: rafayel, xavier, and zayne x gn!reader
(´• ω •`) ♡ modern au! can you guys tell raf is my favorite..?
Tumblr media
rafayel
a year younger than you. lies to everyone (including you) that he’s actually two years your senior. you only found out he was younger than you when you met his parents, who have his birth certificate framed. 
hates cats. despises them. they fill him with rage (fear). says he’s allergic (he’s lying).
“oh shit raf, this sucks! i guess you can’t move in with me.. i have cats”
“...you have cats?”
“yeah. 3.”
“i’m not allergic. i can move in tonight.”
chronically online. minoring in marine biology and majoring in annoying you. texts you over 200 times a day and if you don’t respond, he’s faking a horrible chronic illness. again. it’s amnesia on wednesdays, appendicitis on thursdays, chronic migraines on fridays… etc..
he has 2 followers on his private twitter. you and thomas. 
over 700k followers on instagram for some reason? he sells paintings on depop (he says it's depop but you’re convinced he sells them for heinous prices on the black market) 
cooks on occasion? has an apron that says kiss me im irish (he's not irish?) made you a tuna cupcake once?? 
pescatarian. not in the vegan/vegetarian way where he refuses to eat red meat but because he’s absolutely feral over fish. (is this cannibalism? he says its not)
lives in a 2 bedroom apartment with you but doesn’t use his bedroom. says your bed is comfier. turned his bedroom into a painting studio (IT’S for the black market you say!!) and sleeps with you. 
“raf,” you sigh. “don’t you have.. homework or something?” 
he sits between your legs, back against your chest as he scrolls through his phone. 
“yeah,” he says. you flick the back of his head because you know he’s smirking. “it’s called assignment: you. due in two minutes.” 
with his free hand, he reaches back mindlessly to grab yours. you sigh, fingers intertwining with his, a reflex as he leans his head back. his eyes meet yours and you can’t help but laugh. 
“well?” you ask, brushing his hair out of his eyes as he squeezes your hand. “what are the assignment details?” 
he chews on the bottom of his lip as he thinks, humming while his eyes wander across your face. he swings your interlocked hands in circles. it’s raining outside, the heater is on, and rafayel is warm like hot chocolate. 
“what?” he says, his cheeks a tinge pink. “you’re looking at me like that again.” a pause. he turns, his head now buried in your chest.
“just studying my homework.” you say, hands instinctively wrapping around his back. the laundry machine is running in the background, rain is falling against the window, and you faintly hear your rice cooker dinging in the kitchen. home, you think, is with rafayel.
“i can hear your heartbeat.” he says, voice muffled. “it’s super fast. you like me or something?” 
“i really like you.” you say, without skipping a beat. rafayel groans into your chest, sighing in discontent. 
“no fair. i’m supposed to be the flirter.” 
you press a kiss onto the top of his head and you feel his body melt into yours. the two of you fall into a warm silence, his breath steady as he traces paintings into your neck. 
“raf?” you mumble, eyes drooping. he hums in response. “did you pass your assignment?” 
he smiles. “with flying colors.” 
xavier
chronic napper. (yapper?) 
has 100 late assignments. failing all of his classes yet got into the top university in your country because he got a perfect score on his entrance exams. you thought he was a nepo baby (turns out he’s just.. smart?)
his procrastination rubs off on you… he is the WORST distraction and he knows it. so smug about it and uses it to his own advantage. will perch on top of you when you’re studying and kiss down your neck until you go to sleep with him. 
lives in the apartment on top of yours but is at your house most days, if not all. you ask him to move in.
“am i not already.. living with you?” 
“don’t you still have your apartment, though?”
“yeah..?”
 is that good for the economy?? is it financially smart? not at all, but he’s too lazy to move out and put his apartment up for lease. 
xavier sleeps with his legs entangled with yours and his arms wrapped tightly around your chest. the air conditioning hums in the background as you scroll mindlessly on your phone, dimming the brightness as you hear xavier stir. 
“sorry xav, did i wake you up?” you ask. he doesn’t respond, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as he glares at your phone. 
“xavier?” you question, swallowing a laugh at his ruffled hair and disheveled clothes. 
“phone down.” he says, voice raspy with sleep and an octave lower than usual. you raise an eyebrow at him. 
“can i get a pretty please in this economy?” 
xavier’s eyes narrow as he snatches your phone away, snoozing the device and placing it on the nightstand next to you. his lips ghost your neck, pressing kisses against your skin as he mumbles incoherently in the dark of your bedroom. 
“xavier-” you breathe, giggling at the sensation. “that tickles!” 
he nips at your neck. 
“bedtime. now.” 
zayne
3 years older than you 
he literally has his whole life together at 27 which scares you so much
“my credit card is your credit card” typa boyfriend
cooks. cleans. has a 9-5. you’re interning at the hospital that he works at (he’s head doctor!!)
you’re just a sweet little intern and zayne is the big bad monster!! everyone at work thinks he hates you because he’s extra strict on you. doesn’t give you any special treatment, ‘ignores’ you most days (but also slips meals into your locker and hands you heat packs on cold days in the hospital)
no one knows he’s dating you until one day someone sees you leaving in zaynes car. 
“oh, you carpool with doctor zayne?”
“huh? no, we live together.”
“you WHAT???”
he’s a virgo……. erm……
the two of you get ready together in the morning. his guard is down when he’s sleepy and he’ll cling to you as he brushes his teeth and does his hair.
you wake up to the cold night breeze, blinking the sleep out of your eyes and shivering as you scan your surroundings. you yelp as you meet the attentive gaze of your boyfriend. 
“huh? whuh? huh?” you splutter, squirming as zayne holds you tighter. he’s carrying you bridal style in his arms, his jacket around your shoulders as the two of you walk to his car. you see the bright lights of akso hospital fading away behind the two of you. 
“it’s two am,” he says calmly, placing you down gently as he opens your car door for you. “you waited for my shift to end. again.” 
you smile bashfully, rubbing the back of your head. “well, i didn’t wanna just leave you!” 
zayne clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, eyebrows furrowed but gaze warm. he guides you into your seat, clicking your seatbelt in place. 
“you can nap on the way home,” he says, closing the door and sliding into his side of the car. 
the heater’s on already- courtesy of his super expensive electric car. he fastens his own seatbelt and hands you a hot tea and bread from the hospital vending machine. 
“drink up. doctor’s orders.” 
you grin before he leans over to press a kiss on your lips. 
“thank you for waiting for me.”
5K notes · View notes
wearenotjustnumbers2 · 3 months
Text
Hello, a little rant here. I don't know whether people are becoming insensitive or I'm just taking things very seriously these times, but I beg of you, when I post about an update on the situation in Gaza, or about a lost life or any piece of news that is most likely horrifying and heartbreaking, do not repost or reblog with "yikes" or "real bullshit" or whatever goes in the same line. It just makes it seem so trivial when in fact it's world-shattering. Not to mention the horrible edits I see on Instagram/tiktok.
I literally came across an "Instagram reel" of my friend's UNCLE (who lost three of his kids, and was saying his goodbyes while they were in body bags), it was edited into a reel, with the effects and changing colors and the trending sound of the song "daylight by David kushner". I was speechless.
I know people show their solidarity differently, I know this. Especially through music, I've literally been listening to Samer songs as well as "Telk Qadieah", etc. But the edit I saw was way too much. I don't know how to explain it, because I've seen many reels of Palestinians in Gaza grieving and I thought it's important to share them but this one is different. It was like the edits you'd make for characters from a TV show or movie that died or had a sad storyline.
I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting but I genuinely feel like I'm going crazy. With everything going on and how it seems like some people are living in a parallel world rn.
I hope I don't get misunderstood, I'm not talking about the general clips with sometimes sad songs on them, I'm talking about certain edits the people started to make that are so weird and insensitive. Like the people they're editing aren't real, like they're some entertainment material.
3K notes · View notes
vetyr · 14 days
Note
hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT
Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.
When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.
Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.
For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.
Tumblr media
Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.
The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!
It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.
I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).
Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)
Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
random percy headcanons:
wants to be the photographer friend SO bad and he technically is but like 70% of the pics come out blurry or weird bc there was a monster attack in the middle of them. his instagram is truly so chaotic looking.
literally always has seashells on him someone will ask him for a pencil or spare change and he has to empty all his pockets of shells to find it. drops his backpack and a bunch of shells fall out. kicks his shoes off and sand and shells fly out and his mortal friends are like percy What the Fuck
his eyes glow underwater!! bioluminescent king. no one told him though and he didn't find out until he joined his school's swim team and terrified everyone (he managed to convince them his contacts were having a weird reaction to chlorine lmao)
he really likes art!! he doesn't just pretend to for rachel's sake he genuinely enjoys painting with her. he likes splatter paint, collages and pop art styles the best. one day after splitting some edibles they realized percy could manipulate water colors and went CRAZY with it
will ask to be excused during class and comes back like an hour later with scorch marks all over his face bleeding from one of his ears covered in dust missing three fingernails rips in his jeans and a fat lip and the teacher is like percy what the actual hell were you doing in the bathroom all this time and he's just like uhhhhhh I have ibs
the brand from camp jupiter did unfortunately (for sally) Unlock something in him lmfao he keeps getting shitty little tattoos. usually stick-n-poke but someone's friends cousin's girlfriend's brother has a gun that gets brought to parties every now and then. most of them are sloppy but you can tell what they are HOWEVER he has one that was supposed to be a seal that came out looking like one of those shitty ms paint crying memes. annabeth laughed at him for ten minutes straight when she saw it.
he wanted to dye his hair blue but he was too chicken to bleach his entire head so he just did the tips. his hair is curly though so it looks absolutely ridiculous but he loves it
percy and annabeth get a crusty little yappy white dog in college and he carries it around like a baby lmao
back to his chaotic instagram, he's got so many pics of him like, relaxing at the bottom of the mariana trench or hugging a giant squid or riding on a whale shark and his mortal friends all think he's just really good at photoshop and this is a very specific bit he decided to commit to. they're always like lol percy where do you even FIND these pictures are you subscribed to like scientific journals for the laughs? but no he just took them all on his shell phone
has an ongoing prank war with annabeth's little brothers bobby and matthew but like it's Unhinged. they're playing 5D chess and she has no idea whats going on
weird tshirts!!! he loves them! like
Tumblr media
shit like this or those 'women want me fish fear me' shirts, anything with a funny or incomprehensible slogan is going in his closet right along with his band tees lmfao
bought estelle a panda pillow pet when she was born 🥺
can NOT bring himself to eat seafood no matter how many times poseidon has told him its fine. he's like NO these are my FRIENDS JONATHAN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS GRANDDAUGHTERS WEDDING LITERALLY YESTERDAY WHY IS HE ON A PLATTER DAD. they had to give up and just start eating normal land food at the palace every time he comes to visit lmfao
gets into horsegirl antics with hazel she NEEDS to know everything the horses have to say. they spend hours gossiping in the stables.
movie nights in the poseidon cabin were 10000% a thing and when he was missing annabeth and thalia and grover (and a few others) would still sleep in there every now and then and talk about how much they miss him :(
percy and beckendorf had the worlds most elaborate handshake
he DOES impulse buy stuff just because they're ocean-themed. stuffed animals, home decor, school supplies, clothes, you name it he bought it if theres like a fish on it
has more scars from crashing off his skateboard than he does from monster attacks
grover is somehow the only person who's ever noticed percy is severely claustrophobic
has a deep passion for adele. I can't explain this one I just feel and know it to be true.
he and annabeth both proposed to each other at the same time and they were SO mad about it they kept yelling over each other's speeches lmao
he can SING but he doesn't know it. sally keeps trying to record him singing to himself but something always happens to the camera and she loses the evidence
called chiron a brony one time and mr d thought it was so funny he was nice to percy for an entire week
the camp keeps trying to convince him to teach sword fighting lessons to the younger kids but he can NOT bring himself to swing a sword at a 9 year old so he keeps getting injured
has the most complicated iced coffee order in the world his go-to local coffee shop finally just put the damn drink on the menu and named it after him
he IS the quiet kid in the back of your math class that always has his hood up to try and hide his headphones and eats increasingly elaborate meals out of his backpack when the teacher isn't looking. one time someone caught him with a rotisserie chicken in the middle of a geometry final.
he argued that he DID have enough to share with the class
currently obsessed with the image of him knocking back a container of sea salt as if it was a shot and his mortal friends being like hey! what the actual fuck! and he's just like uhhhhh anemia kills!
its his birthday<3
5K notes · View notes
inkskinned · 7 months
Text
nobody ever gets the mugshot of gluttony right. these days you think it has nothing to do with bodyweight. what a good trick: that gluttony could take a shape. no, there was never any fault in finishing a meal or in taking second helpings. it was always in taking from others that there was an issue - the oil baron's fingers steepled over dead bodies and stolen lands. gluttony - twin of greed, although most think greed and envy are the siblings - gluttony is pleased with the experience of gaining, is thrilled just-by-having. greed is the one that stays hungry, that has to move forever like a shark. gluttony likes it - "a glutton for punishment" is one who is seeking the harm, who loves the rush.
gluttony is a mother using her daughter's body for a diet testing ground, sharpening the bone angles. gluttony is saying why, well not! to the seventh and eighth mansion or yacht. it is not just wanting the six white horses, it is making sure that the horses came from your stables. it is not just bathing in milk - it is bathing in milk while others are starving.
oh, it's true that some sins still blaze in their bright floral prints. wrath in a white woman yelling at a person of color for even daring to be in her neighborhood. the red, incipient rage of a neck tightened at even the thought we would take the guns away. wrath has laurels, and she is good at her job, and works hard.
but sloth wasn't ever the sleepy morning of depression, the hours spent begging a clouded body to please move goddamn it; the protestant work ethic claiming even rest is somehow demonic. it was never chronic fatigue. sloth was subtle, a grey mist. she is watching you get bullied and she is deciding it is none of her business. she crosses the picket line because - what! it's just chicken, isn't it? she is closing her eyes and turning her head when the next anti-gay legislation passes. someone else will handle it. not the tense freeze of anxiety or a lack of preparation - she knows you're hurting and would rather you stay quiet about it. she tells other people i just don't see what the big deal is.
sloth is a father that doesn't do the dishes. sloth is your boyfriend's innocent shrug you're just better at household shit. sloth isn't the missed opportunity - it is the purposeful desire to just get-someone-else-to-do-it.
greed and envy are doing body shots in the back of a private jet. they are the way they always have been, but are lovers in the age of the internet. greed just finished union busting, is rolling a bitcoin over his knuckles, is about to start another MLM. envy is in a broadbrimmed hat, showing off her instagram life, grinning about how if you want it, work for it.
okay, it's true. you have a soft spot for lust, gathering dust in a corner. so tame in comparison to the others. but how funny lust is always painted as being a woman in tight clothes. you've met actually lustful women - the ones that purposefully climb into your partner's lap, the ones that say lesbians are gross but ask bisexual women into bed with their husbands. a lustful woman is not donned in lace and garters and red: that's how men think lust looks, painting their own sins into frame. this way, the sin displaces as fog and hovers above her: a woman in a dress is lust; what the man experiences is just the natural consequence.
here is the thing: lust is doing just fine, save your pity. lust is running more circles than any of them. lust is shutting down safe sexwork sites while also making teenagers in knee-high socks sex sensations. lust is CEO of an advertising network where women never pass 25 years old. all the bras lust makes are pretty to look at but, when worn, legitimately hurt. lust has a podcast, his fur coat looped around his shoulders, sells the idea that only certain people have value, that sex raises some and destroys others. lust is tilting his head and asking what did you expect when you dress like that? lust shuns you, sneers that everything you want is disgusting and taboo - right until he can figure out how to capitalize off of it. lust has the midas ability: everything he touches becomes an object.
people usually say wrath is the scary one. you agree with FMA here, though: the real dangerous one is pride, and the shit-eating grin. the white cloaks and the nationalism and the inability to apologize. it is every partner who threw a book at your head because you don't respect him. it is every mother who said my son doesn't deserve to have his life ruined over allegations. it is the teacher that fails you because you talked back.
you worry you have this one. you feel guilty when you need help but don't ask for it. prideful. ashamed when you complete something and feel good about it. too proud for your own good. but pride is not the reward of hard work or accomplishment: pride is a twitter feed. it is the thing that has to mask i didn't do anything with look at me.
pride is your father's raised hand, his raised voice. how he was never there when you needed him, but he is still "head of house." he ruins dinner and blames it on you: you're an embarrassment to this family. this is the glass you walk around, the cuts in your feet. how he says this isn't how i raised you and you have to bite back the retort: that's because you didn't actually fucking raise me.
4K notes · View notes