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#my family is cool with the gay so we dont have to hide
deathsdaisy · 2 years
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Can I have a girlfriend pls?
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shijiujun · 7 months
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FRIENDS MY KISEKI DEAR TO ME NOVEL JUST CAME AND OMG I JUST HAD TO READ BECAUSE I JUST HAD TO KNOW BUT GUYS IF THEY STICK TO THIS WHICH I THINK THEY WILL, EP 9 ONWARDS WILL NO LONGER BE RANDOM PAIN!!!!
THEY DON’T FORGET EACH OTHER. THEY REMEMBER EACH OTHER OMG!!!! IN THE NOVEL!!!
Anyway the novel is kinda cool cuz you can turn the cover around so Ai Di and Chen Yi are on the cover and BZY and FZR are on the inside instead too hahahahahaha
Spoilers:
Fan Zherui is just pretending to have amnesia because he knew he couldn’t fight against his grandpa and he works with his younger brother, the younger brother who he spoke about in Ep 7 who is set to become the heir of the Fan family, and his younger brother hides it from him while still feeding him info about Bai Zongyi and helps FZR lie in wait because they both need to remove his grandpa from his position and power - and that turns into a four year wait
BAI ZONGYI POOR BB?! He remembers everything too but he has issues with short-term memory after the knock to the head ie he needs to write things down to remember it hence the notebook and this why he can’t ever be a doctor again because he struggles to remember stuff if he doesn’t note them down - he remembers everything and he decided to open a pastry shop and doesn’t dare go look for FZR because he feels like he’s nothing and so far away from FZR now in terms of status
The person who helps them to meet is FZR’s younger brother 🥲 FZR’s brother is someone who sees pretty clearly lmao and GUESS WHAT DIS BIJ BE GAY TOO
SUPER ANNOYING THAT AI DI AND CHEN YI ARE NOT IN THE AFTER-FOUR YEARS SEGMENT IN THE NOVEL?! We don’t get Chen Yi Ai Di ending or extras wts are they chopped liver BUT I AM SURE the drama will do them justice
Ai Di only went to jail for a year so BZY was in there for three years before Ai Di went in I STILL DONT KNOW FOR WHAT I was speed reading need to go back and have a look
BZY opens the pastry shop and all the pastries there are items he said he would make for FZR
Since BZY went into jail, FZR would use medication to sedate himself and fall asleep so he could dream of BZY
It was also the Fan family who ordered for BZY to be hurt/killed in jail and FZR in the end gets to revenge - and argh the grandpa is seriously such a scumbag like the only reason he wants FZR back in the fam is so he can be used by FZR’s brother, cuz grandpa discovered the info web that FZR created for the gang but who knew FZR’s brother was kinda on FZR’s side hahahaha
Literally there’s nothing on Zhang Teng and that mysterious snitch and they just frickin disappear from the plot like WHAT EVEN WAS THE POINT and DILFs also didn’t get more screen time excuse me WHAT IS LIFE
Differences I can see between novel and drama right now by skimming briefly:
The beginning scene where Ai Di and BZY are in front of the gates of the jail, Ai Di is cursing up a storm because they turned back and it’s taboo to look back to prison cuz it means you’re gonna go back LOL
Ai Di didn’t fall out with Chen Yi because he’s talking to him and he scolded Chen Yi for not coming to fetch him in a sedan car because he specifically told him to pick up BOTH HIM AND BAI ZONGYI, to which Chen Yi said that it’s better for BZY to not be seen with them
Chen Dongyang only told BZY to go to jail on FZR’s behalf because he owed grandpa Fan a favour and had no choice but to return the favour in this way as requested. He hates it and said that it was a despicable and cowardly way of him to return this favour and in doing so, he ruined BZY’s future - at least he knows it?! Chen Yi chased after him to say that he would make amends and CDY said “remember that it’s your fault that he has to go to jail. it is yours and mine that his future has been ruined and we will forever owe it to BZY till the day we die.”
BZY actually meets grandpa, mom and brother Fan in the hospital after FZR is admitted and he actually scold FZR’s mom for being a shitty mom and then after he goes to jail
Will go and look for some other iconic lines and stuff later but OOMPH I don’t know if it’ll be different from the drama itself but considering there’s only four eps left I am in favour of following the above JUST GIVE ME details on Chen Yi Ai Di and DILFs please. I forgot how brief and loophole-y Lin Peiyu’s plots were 😂😂😂
But this makes perfect sense judging from the teaser for Ep 9 because both BZY and FZR looked way too burdened for people who had complete amnesia LOL, but of course disclaimer that the drama MAYBE?? May not follow??? The novel?? But it should more or less
And it also makes sense for the distribution of episodes remaining too. All the above was revealed in the last two chapters of the novel plus two super short extras.
Basically a lot of smexy scenes LOL
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ima-ghost-art · 2 years
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I'm in the middle of writing a stranger things fic wip with robin getting vecnad and honestly? I forgot how fun it is to write angst lol
Robin faces being disowned by most of her homophobic family, vecna using her dad (the only one who stuck by her and still love her) to cause more harm
Steve having his "I CANT FUCKING LOSE HER" moment (frantically searching for her favourite song only to realise their mixtape is at her house)
Her favourite song is "I'm still standing" by elton John btw
Nancy yelling at him saying "we get it your girlfriend might die but your not the only one who cares about her!?" To which steve loses HIS SHIT bc nancy stop being bullshit that's his platonic soulmate and he loves her more than any romantic fling he could have had in the past bc robin was the first person to except him and ask if he was okay!!!!
Robin then having to face the Russians again, only this time forced to watch steve getting tortured (finally understanding why he wouldnt fully tell her what happened) plus watching/ seeing dustin and erica hurt and blaming her for what happened at starcourt!
She (like steve) blames herself for letting them get involved, she hates that her decoding a secret message for fun led to someone she now loves getting hurt
Everyone is not sure if they are more scared of robin dying in this moment, or steve, who the party is pretty sure has finally cracked when in his last attempt to find a song that means something to robin
Starts singing total eclipse of the heart like a muppet
Oh btw all 4 chapters (maybe more I'm still planning lol) are named after different lyrics from the song
Robin saves herself time by hiding in the memory of her and steve making thier mixtape (Steve's coming out moment/ Robin's dad being AMAZING)
I love Robin's dad in this hes a pretty cool bi king who just loves his two gay children (steve is his son, steve had no choice in the suprise adoption bit prefers him much more over his real dad)
VECNA (the bitch) tells robin as shes escaping that if she doesnt join him, she knows who will be next (yep you stevie boy ;))
Of course robin still escapes, but not without being utterly terrified for her bestfriend, not even sure how to tell him (or the others tbh) that vecna probably wont be targeting max this time, instead choosing to take out their hardest hitter
Que steve and robin having a VERY emotional hug (if they weren't co dependent before, they definitely are now)
Everyone else is just there in stunned silence bc gods damn it that was the most stressful 15 minutes of their lives and it got resolved BY STEVE SINGING BONNIE TYLERS "total eclipse of the heart" LIKE FRICKIN MISS PIGGY
Possibly gunna write a sequel involving steve and him getting vecna'd, (I have so many angsty ideas for this too (plus a bit of steddie)
and a prequel about the whole "mixtape" scene and stuff involving robin and steve being beautiful codependent queens being gay with a king that is Robin's dad helping them learn what love means where I project my 80s music taste onto my favourite characters (obviously that would include other characters but this is all based on platonic stobin so they're only guests lol)
Anywayyyyy this was longer than planned but maybe if other people like this idea it will actually get me to finish it (tho I still dont know how long that would be since I just started my new college course)
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narcissusbrokenmirror · 11 months
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i need to talk about Alex, Luke and Reggie and their families' dynamics.
We don't get a lot from the show apart from Luke and it's not that much either, when we think about it. But from Reggie and Alex? Crumbs of backstory. the references we got to their past from the show is that Reggie's parent were in a bad relationship and Alex's parent were homophobic. god bless the guy who decided to write books abt it bc i can't stress enough over not knowing abt their past.
So starting with Reggie, my favorite backstory, is that he had parents who were always fighting amd he also had a little brother, age not specified but i guess between 8-11, Steve admired Reggie and his band and Reggie kinda regretted not spending enough time w him bc of the band. idk thinking of Reggie as an older brother opens lot of possibilities for what his character would've become. also brings more of a reason why he's so goofy and lightheaded, it can be either a way to separate from, maybe, a figure of power for his brother, being held to a responsibility or something alike, i mean, none really knows how stuff were inside Reggie's house so there's no way to tell if they had been heavily neglected at some point. or maybe being optimistic and joyful was just the way he tried to find to make things lighter for his brother when he was around, maybe to his whole family when trying to keep them from starting a fight (we also dont know for how long reggie's parents have been fighting). either way, fascinates me.
Alex also intrigued me a little bit, but i liked to figure him out. I personally enjoy when fanfic writers make his parents religious or give him fear of coming out to his friends, but, just ain't real. From what I've read on the book, Alex's parents used to be supportive of the band and welcoming to his friends, they'd have sleepovers w the whole band, and be warm and welcoming. When Alex mentions being gay, he says he wouldn't sneak a guy he actually liked out of his window and wanted to bring this hypothetical guy through the front door like his older sister did w her boyfriends, this being the 90's its a pretty prideful statement for a gay teenager. But Kenny mentioned Alex is pride of himself and wouldn't hide it. So i don't think Alex got christian fever over his sexuality, neither did his parents. What i guess, is that Alex was the kid with "Cool Parents" that would let him be and do what he wanted, be supportive of him, Alex pretty much mentioned on the show he was always trustworthy (in rhetoric to Reggie never being believed as a kid). What also would explain how Alex can grow so confident of himself and expect to receive the same treatment his sister does. So the moment Alex came out, something he never took back, even when his parents didn't approved, it shifted the whole "modern cool parents" thing bc yeah, Alex can have a band, be a drummer (which is not everyone's favorite instrument to have at home), let his sister bring multiple boyfriends to their house, but if Alex wants to bring guys, he better do it far from their eyes. "do what you want, but not under my roof". Clearly, it affected him to have a family who was loving and supportive, just to find out that being gay was going to twist the way his parents saw and treated him like, and ofc that's not what Alex wanted, he wanted the warmth and the love he'd always received before. also, Alex being a young brother makes sense to why he's a little shit on the show.
Luke also has interesting background. Different from Alex, who had a family who supported his band (til they didn't anymore) and Reggie, who had a family who probably didn't cared, Luke had a family very much disapproving of his life dream, so much that i doubt they've met the boys personally, aside from Bobby bc he was Luke's oldest friend, since there's a moment on the book Alex asks where they are and its Luke's house, and they have been friends for years so its interesting Alex not knowing where Luke lives. i think Sunset Curve was just a part of his life that Luke didn't shared with his parents bc he knew it wouldn't be worth it. What doesn't mean Luke didn't wanted to share, he was trying to make it without his parents' support, getting a job to buy instruments and other stuff for example. And if Alex is not the religious link of the group, Luke definitely is, not only he makes mentions of Hell and Heaven, but his house has a huge cross on it, visible on the clip of Unsaid Emily, and i think that's why Luke, at the same time he doesn't want to talk of the past, is the one who feels more guilty about the way he left things with his mom. Boy got hard catholic guilt on his head even if Luke himself isn't really into religion.
I'm not gonna make myself long with Bobby, bc if Alex and Reggie left crumbs of backstory, Bobby left drops in the sun. but the book had some pretty cool details, he got three older brothers who are sport trifecta, and Bobby is the kid who only got to play in a band, he doesn't get a lot of attention from his parents and even Luke is his friend since they were kids and they started playing together, he also feels apart from the band, he also seems to care a lot about Luke since he wanted Luke to make up with his mom on the day of their show at the orpheum. So it does adds dimension to the character we see on the show.
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windswords · 1 year
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oh man. 911 S6B is amazing so far. in a flash was a bit. Hm. Strange. the editing didn’t help either 😭 BUT it was good setup for what was to come!! and then - in another life?? recovery???? FUCKING AMAZING. im so happy with the direction they’re taking the show in!!!!
i still have some gripes with the way it feels like the dialogue is a bit less natural and more platitude-y. their usual back and forth feels forced at times, and it just.. disappoints me. it used to be 911’s strongest point, and it just sticks out so much now. but maybe that’s just me? feel free to tell me if im wrong 🥲
BUCK’S ENTIRE COMA DREAM ALTERNATE REALITY RAAAAHHHHHHH IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOL the tk dream episode is cool this coma dream episode is cool its so cool how different it is from the usual 911 episode formats IT STANDS OUT IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE!!!!!!!! you get so excited when they suddenly change it up it was so strange and fun and awesome….. ASSHOLE BOBBY YOU WILL BE IN MY HEART FOREVER. eugh doug made me nauseous. kill KILL KILL ermmmm daniel was silly. NOT THE DOCTOR ON SURGEON VIOLENCE GOING ON IN THE DINNER TABLE that was funny actually
i immensely appreciate the fleshing out of wendall and bobby’s relationship, and the full circle moment when bobby continued on wendall’s wonderful legacy of always helping when he saw someone who needed it. it is beautiful, truly, and im glad that his death - while absolutely tragic and devastating - lead to the saving of everyone in that rehab center. i was so angry that they killed off a character who i barely knew and was genuinely excited to get to know. but i feel comforted in the fact that it meant something now, that he saved them. that he didn’t go down without a fight. he saved bobby, he saved tamara, and it was all by being a kind, loving, selfless person. I LOVE HIM OK DONT TOUCH ME.
the buckley-han family debacle is - quite something. i dont know why the buckley parents are suddenly nice???? i mean its nice and all but????? where did this come from. chim is right it’s a bit erm suspicious ? but perhaps after jee they did some personal growth, we shall never know.
buckley sibs my everything, overbearing maddie my everything, HER SCHEDULING HER COWORKERS TO CHECK ON HER BROTHER NAHHH SHE’S DOING THE MOST
BUCK FEELING TIRED OF EVERYONE AND GOING TO EDDIE’S HOUSE TO HIDE AWAY GET AWAY FROM ME IM ABOUT TO GO INTO SICKO MODE THEYRE SO INSANE. Shut the fuck up eddie diaz your gayass haircut is making you even more annoying somehow i know it (AFFECTIONATE) (SO MUCH AFFECTION)
theyre suddenly TALKING ABOUT THE SHOOTING?!!???()))( EDDIE REMEMBERS NOTHING BUCK REMEMBERS EVERYTHING FUCK MY LIFE OR MAYBE EDDIE’S LYING AND HE DOESNT WANT TO SAY “i remember that you stared at me like you were the one who got shot” or something fucking gay and crazy like that they should be put down. sorry. love you guys.
ermmmmm wow i love 911 its stupid and dramatic as shit sometimes but i do truly love it and they did so good with buck and bobby im so happy i love them i adore them thank you for everything
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Saw this interview where Shawn Mendes is yet again being questioned about his sexuality n he addresses it a diff way this time thats actually pretty insightful. Regardless of whether or not its sincere.
To me its insightful la.
As in im also reflecting n going dang that makes sense actually whatever he said
So basically he said tht him being accused of being gay is mostly due to the fact that hes always well groomed, soft spoken, n exhibits feminine body posture/body language like sitting cross legged. Which is uncommon for straight men, plus he's really good looking which fits certain stereotypes about gay men. I guess.
N he says that the driving factor behind those things are probably because growing up, nobody in his family (n especially his dad) ever really made fun of him for doing things like looking at the mirror too much, or anything thats not necessarily conforming to society's idea of masculinity. Which is-rare.
Idk, I mean I get what hes saying tho because I myself am deeply uncomfortable about being perceived as 'not ugly' even now. Which is why when anything that comes along with in vein, like getting massive attention for that or whatever is just hugely terrifying n comes across as FICTITIOUS because it makes me HYPER AWARE of myself.
N I realize now that a big part of that has to do with how my siblings have always treated this subject or idk atleast its always come down to how we treat eachother.
To put it simply, kids are mean. Theyre mean as hell lol. This is reflected in the type of language we used to call eachother like
"hey fckface!"
"Sh*tface"
"Ur adopted. Thats why u look different"
"Ur ugly"
"U have a face like a butt"
Etc...theres plenty more especially in Malay where its more colourful n creative to throw insults.
But yeah, all in all its interesting tht some ppl dont have to hide behind any guises of masculinity, femininity or any arbitrary rule of coolness like that.
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fucktheroyals · 3 years
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You know after reading and reading and reading peoples theories and the meta from before the spn finale aired and the meta writers reactions to the finale I think I have a theory of my own. We don't have any answers tho, so this is pure speculation. If you wanna add something to support or discredit any of this that's cool but there's too many things floating around. Know I dont have proof for this conclusion at all. A lot of what I say is just guesses based on previous facts.
This all came together in my head when I realized how much this finale REEKS of the original producers and who the show was originally for. It REEKS of Robert Singer. Like if the execs started saying they didn't want it, Robert Singer was the one pushing that the story was about the brothers. That kinda thing.
Then, I was thinking of the problems in this episode and it struck me these are all of Supernatural biggest issues and to be honest all of it feels completely deliberate.
Take the sexism for example, Supernatural in it's later seasons largely out grew this, we have Jody, Rowena, Donna, Charlie, Mary, Claire (and even a wayward sisters pilot with MORE women/girls) all making regular appearances. They're mainly good characters and mostly aren't there to hurt our boys. Rowena, of course, is the one outlier being very about herself but it's clear she still cares for them, I mean its part of her development. But they're all real, with character flaws just like everyone else. (And we have Death too and she was POC 😭 THANK GOD)
Now look at the earlier half of Spn, we have Ellen and Jo, who's appearances were far in between. There's Bela in season 3, recurring for quite a bit (5 eps), but she is a character that is only there for herself, definitely not found family (unlike Ellen & Jo), and she's got more episodes in season 3 than Ellen and Jo in season 2 who aren't seen again til season 5. The "fans" send in hate mail after hate mail to try to get these characters off, and eventually they are. Then there's Ruby who's character stayed for a whole two seasons and was a largely recurring character. Why does she get to say so long? She's a plot device. She's supposed to be there to betray Sam. She has to stay (plus Jared obviously likes her). But she's not just a character the writers like writing about. Same with Lilith. Obviously not as recurring but still a plot device. Did they get hate mail tho? You can bet on it. Why? because tHeY'rE gOnNa PuSh ThE bOyS (Dean and Sam) aPaRt ThE sHoW iS aBoUt ThE bOyS oNlY. Without even thinking about the hate mail, just notice how large the difference is from how women are seen in the earlier seasons to the later seasons. Misha got tons of hate mail too for being a character that could split up the boys (probably only being allowed to say because he a man, thanks sexist producers and execs).
Only after Castiel was killed off and then Castiel fans successfully (thank you guys) got him back on the show did the hate mail largely simmer, which means female character's were allowed to stay! Which has lead us to a show with a good amount of female characters. But can you imagine having to kill characters off time and time again because people keep complaining that the show is "only about the boys." Fun times really.
So now we get to this final and we see sexism. But it wasn't just the plain old regular sexism you find in the earlier days of spn. Because now, there ARE women to talk about, talk to. But this episode was DESOLATE women wise, unless they were used for plot (which is also sexist!). Small scenes, they're barely there. Women gets her tongue cut out. Random women from s1 gets killed. Sam doesn't SPEAK of Eileen. Nothing. No mention of any female characters from the boys mouths unless they were from/in this episode itself. That's WIERD. I know we've all said it. But that goes beyond forgetting about characters. I mean its SAM'S GIRLFRIEND for Christ's sake. There is NO REASON they couldn't have said Eileen's name. Notice how Sam's wife is just... faceless. This is literally an age old sexist trope. Like... one of the things about bringing Mary back to life for s12+ is that it takes this trope... of basically a generic mother, and gives her life and feelings, whether you like them or not, they're real feelings. They said Mary isn't just a mom she's a person. Mary's existence in the later half of spn is to fix this kind of female tropes that fall upon her character, to not let these her stay a 2 dimensional character. They said we should know she's more than just the mom who tried to save her kid. Do that is the exact opposite of Sam getting a nameless, faceless wife. The sexism of the old spn wasn't just brought back, it was completely amplified. It wasn't just accidental or some exec "fixing" the story it was DELIBRATE. Whoever wrote that, didn't do ALL OF THAT by accident. Because an exec or a producer who doesn't see the flaws in old supernatural isn't going to write it that deliberately.
Let's bring it back to s10 when Charlie was killed (singer was mainly to blame). Dead in the bathtub, age old classic of burying ur gays. If you were here you know people never let Supernatural live that down. THEY KNOW what bury ur gays means. Hell, Robbie Thompson left because of Charlie's death and you think the writers don't know what it means? I mean both Bobo Berens (especially) and Steve Yockey's careers are centered around LGBT+ storytelling and you think they don't know? They know. They know.
And Dean wasn't just apart of the bury your gays trope, it is so far BEYOND that. Dean being killed on a rusty nail/screw, the tongues ripped out, things that seemed to be meant for other people. Jensen's acting in the last two episodes was giving us "DEAN RECIPROCATES" but no one ever actually saying it. I think it's clear that Dean was killed for being Bi. They didn't address it for a reason, they just silenced him. His narrative was supposed to be about letting him be HIM for the first time, to say what his feelings are instead of having them miscommunicated, and instead of doing that, they just silenced him. And the more we look at this scene the more horrific it gets. The more it's a complete slap in the face and it's supposed to be. Some guy who knows nothing about the LGBT can't write a scene this horrific.
Some guy who knows nothing about Dean couldn't write a scene that deconstructs all of Dean's character development and gives Dean his worst nightmare. I MEAN DEAN WANTED TO LIVE HIS LIFE! THEY DIDNT HIDE THAT JOB APPLICATION (or whatever job related thing that was) IN THERE FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES THEY WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST SITUATION. Dean isn't Barney from HIMYM. If you watched HIMYM then you'll know Barney went from being a stereotypical ladies man and treating women terribly to being in love with a women and treating her right and working hard for it. The last episode of HIMYM (why its so bad) Barney's character development is thrown out and he's back to being a stereotypical ladies man. You don't need to know Barney's character very much to do that.
To kill Dean during a hunt his father never finished, to not have anyone at his funeral, to have Dean die young like his life didn't matter. Those are Dean's worst fears and you'd only truly know that if you watched the gin episode in s3, where they are basically laid out for you. You HAVE to know Dean's character to tear him apart like this.
This episode took all the core elements of the show and did a complete 180° the name of the episode itself is "Carry on" and Dean and Sam very much did not carry on. Sam grieving his entire life so that he good get to heaven and see Dean again. Dean being ready to live his life, despite the enormous pitfalls and learning to love himself only to be killed. "Family don't end with blood." Um.... it did in that episode either literally with Dean's death or you know BECAUSE NONE OF THEIR FOUND FAMILY WAS THERE. Not Jack, Not Cas, Not Eileen, Not Donna, Not Charlie, Not Jody, Not Claire... on and on we go. No one was there, nobody was even mentioned. Dean's funeral, no one even called that we know of. It was just Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean. And Bobby. Don't forget Bobby. But yeah Sam and Dean.
That's what the show is about right, the brothers.
Except it's not anymore. It hasn't been for years.
Cas not being there was deafening but it brought us to a major point. Becky. Becky's telling us about the terrible ending.
And many of us are wondering why would they literally tell us this is the worst ending and then... make it the ending.
Now before we move on, it very apparent many of you think Dabb doesn't ship Deancas. And Dabb doesn't care about the characters.
Say what you will about any plot holes in his writing, the point he is VERY GOOD at writing the characters, and giving us good ones.
Why do we know Dabb ships Deancas? (ill say when its cowrote, other wise its not) cowrote ep 8.02 - purgatory "I prayed to you, Cas, every night" "Cas, Buddy, I need you." "I have a price on my head, and I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you." 8.08 Hunteri Heroici - Cas helps them hunt! 😊❤ Dean & Cas have a serious convo about why Cas doesn't want to see/go to heaven. 8.22 Dean's mad at Cas. Sam's explanation of why Dean should be easy on Cas: "It's Cas." Dean then points out how he'd knife anybody else if they did what Cas did. 9.10 - Cas comforts Dean when Dean can't take seeing Sam (Gadreel) being tortured anymore. Also tons of Cas. 9.20 (bloodlines) - Canonical couple parallel "I was there, where were you" 9.22 The angels make Cas choose between them and killing Dean and he "gave up an entire army for one guy" 10.09 Claire's reintroduction. Cas heavy ep. DeanCas date. 10.22 THE PRISONER - u know the ep where Dean beats the shit out of Cas but loves him enough to not kill him.
We COULD keep going but I think I've made my point. If Robert Singer is the guy that is like "the show is about Sam and Dean only" Andrew Dabb is the DeanCas shipper. And you could even say a Cas stan.
Notice! How in s13 for SEVEN episodes we have a story that revolves around Dean's grief about losing Cas. Notice! How often the stories in all these seasons have a focus on their relationship. THAT is Andrew Dabb. If it weren't for him doing that, we wouldn't be able to easily say after Dean's lack of a response to Cas' confession, that Dean reciprocates.
To me, when I was (binge) watching s12 for the first time, I thought damn this is really got a lot of DeanCas. So I went to look at who was in charge, who was writing. I saw Andrew Dabb, associated him with Deancas episodes, saw all the new writers, Bobo, and then I saw that Yockey is known for same sex stories and it clicked. Dabb assembled a team to give us Destiel. THAT WAS IN SEASON 12!!!!!!!!
The amount of people saying he's homophobic flabbergast me. Open your eyes! That isn't what's going on.
Imagine making a show and trying to right all the wrongs of Supernatural. Imagine trying to write the greatest love story ever told and you have the entire season planned out for it to end off beautifully, it may possibly be your greatest achievement when it's done and then boom. someone comes in and tells you you aren't allowed to make Dean bi or make destiel endgame, after he was most probably already given the go ahead.
Sure. You could imply he's bi or into cas still in a way. Still make nice-ish ending. just give everyone what the kinda want.
Or you could scrap the last season, nothing close to a canonical bisexual Dean Winchester or Deancas endgame in site. People can be done with it be happy with the show, continue to live their lives in ignorance as to how close they were to Canon destiel.
OR you can lead everyone to the very closest you can get them to what you were aiming for and then show everyone the ugly truth and reality. Light it all on fire. Burn the show to the ground in your wake. Try your darnedest to making these people's (the people saying no) pockets suffer. Show us, the audience, what happened. Show us what this show really is.
I've seen people talk about the ending being changed during covid but I dont think that happened. I think what happened was Dabb already had this season planned out before it even started. Obviously the details were wobbly but it was all lead up to this ending. Destiel endgame, Canon Bisexual Dean, whatever it was. They were ready to write the greatest love story ever told and then someone shut it down.
Imagine the pain that must have caused them to be told no when they already said yes. They must have been so excited to give this to us.
I think someone (some producers) told him what this show is "really" about. The brothers. Can you imagine, after being told no, some kinda bullshit like this is said to you: "Why aren't you bringing it back to the brothers, Andrew? that's what the shows about. What with all this homosexual stuff, you know the audience won't like that. Not really." Imagine the original producers pushing this kind of view on you. "You know when we started it was Sam and Dean. It should end with Sam and Dean." That kinda sounds like someone huh? huh.
So why give us a nice acceptable finale, when you can take every problem Supernatural's had either up front or behind the scenes and create a finale so incredibly bad that people don't want to watch it anymore.
Someone made a good point about how Sam was originally supposed to be the main focus (this isn't to put any hate on Sam or Jared). Dean and Sam are the main characters but Sam was supposed to be the focus and for Dean to have become the focus, must have annoyed the producers because... well here we are. They wouldn't listen to Jensen. The producers liked this ending. Jensen's opinion didn't matter to them.
In some ways, if this is really what happened, it can be seen as childish from Dabb. To hurt all of us like that. Yes, he's hurting the producers, the execs, the cw. But to hurt us? Yeah it stings.
But in other ways, if this is really what happened, this is Dabb showing us the muck and gunk under the shiny surface. The hate for Misha. The hidden hate for Jensen. The underlying sexism. The underlying homophobia. The people REALLY in charge don't care about us, they just want our money. He needed to open our eyes and free us, at least free the people that he was writing for. The people he sees that care about this show.
This is the ending the powers that be wanted and its a big fuck you for a reason. I dont think this is Dabb spitting in our faces for loving this show, I think this is him trying to get revenge for us.
But from here, you can see it how u want it. If this is really what happened, I'm not in charge of your emotions, if you wanna be mad be mad if you wanna be grateful be grateful. And you don't have to believe me either I said this is speculation.
Also, as for all of the rumors like there being shots to the confession scene that we didn't see, which Jensen himself implied, I think that might have been a last ditch effort to canonized DeanCas but obviously it was cut. Like the name change was pretty clear. As for Misha possibly having shot some stuff for 20 I dont know what to tell you. If it's true I dont know where the blame would lie.
I do think however, that if all this was the case, the writers were prepared to become villians here. I mean they told us the writers were villians with Chuck right? So. Who knows what went down so they could give us such a vile ending. It could've been the producers or the writers, who truly knows. I do think tho that people we "trust" did some pretty shitty things to push the narrative in certain directions so now one would see this as the actual ending that was coming.
So again do with my SPECULATION what you will. This was in no way meant to put Dabb on a pedestal or anything. Just meant to give a bit of perspective.
(Also Jensen didn't unfollow Dabb recently he was already unfollowed for years)
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botwstoriesandsuch · 3 years
Note
hey Kip! I’m sending asks into different writer’s askboxes, inquiring about cool themes/development facts/stuff the author wants to share about their personal favorite work of their own. What’s yours? :)
Ok so this ask is old and when I first got it I was like “dang I don’t really have a lot to talk about, what should I talk about I could those revalink headcanons the Kip Cut that turned into a working fic uhh hmm maybe I’ll just make something new to talk about real quick” and then I did and now there is a 12+ chapter Revalink fic in my drafts and I’m gonna talk about that now, whoopsie doopsie [click "j" to skip]
aHEM, OK so allow me to break out the primary school white board because yeah, I have a lot of thoughts and the oxford comma has not yet made it’s home into my brain. oh and spoilers for paraphrase. for both all of Chapter one and future events in later chapters, but it’s really nothing you couldn’t surmise from the AO3 tags
so I really wanted to tell the story of Revali and Link learning and struggling to love again after the less-than-fortunate events of Botw, but I wanted a...how you say...fresher, approach on the subject? Like I know we always say that fanfic writers writing the same tropes and stories time and time again is good because we eat that shit up--but at the same time I had asian parenting as was told never to half ass anything ever, no matter what. So now I'm gay and extra and have depression maybe and oh would you look at that @motherhyrule has dropped a beautiful revalink prompt right into my lap
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Great so now that we have, that, I shall take you on the step by step process on how to make a :sparkles: story. So step one is to spend at least five to eleven business days for your white board to dismantle your genre and themes and work them around your character arcs. Luckily I have prepared one ahead of time
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s*breaks out those laser pointers that uni professors use* So let's start with defining genre. As define because I HATE you, fuck you. I want you to suffer and writhe on the ground, motherfucker. How dare you think that I would give you nothing but pure predictable fluff, fuck you and yours
is the set of expectations that your audience has when consuming a piece of media
And the great thing about fanfiction is that unlike movies or book where the genres are more vague like, "oh it's a noir mystery genre. so there's a crime, maybe a murder, and a detective and a criminal." or "oh it's a teen romance. so there's some white people and a morally questionable six-pack 18 year old love interest that will be painted as desirable for some reason" BUT with fanfiction HALF of the work out the window, because as soon as you see those #revalink #aro sidon #zelpha #revali is an idiot and #found family tags you already know what's up.
Now what's so great about genre and expectation? Well the fun thing about it is that
I will use it to fucking break you.
... ... ...
<3 For example! <3
In Chapter 1: Holes, you already expect there to be revalink, you already expect them to be soulmates with the soulmarks and there's angst and yadayada ya. Revali and Link have to match because thatttss what this is all about, this is about them! This is about cute, little soulmarks and romantic words!
But whoooopsie doopsie [disney channel laugh track plays] they DON'T match anymore! Link's got a different mark! The number one rule of this entire genre has been broken whoooooooooooooooops. *ba dum tiss*
You might notice with a lot of my writing that I do this a lot, this whole..."oop but there's one little thing that's different." TebaSaki sick fic? Ok cool, but what if Teba burns an irreplaceable relic of the Rito champion to fight a wizzrobe first to characterize why his dumbass clicks with Saki. Mipha deciding to persue Link? Ok what if she chases after a dragon to externalize this conflict as she pierces it's flesh for a scale. Link fighting a Lynel? Ok but what if it's actually a sidlink angst fic in disguise and it's also world building on how Link deals with the bloodmoon that erases all of his efforts which is sort of similar to how his existence was erased from Hyrule 100 years ago mwaahahaha! Ok now that I say this outloud I think I just have a pattern of using fight scenes to externalize character growth. I like fight scenes...anyways.
I think another great thing about the realm of fanfiction is that with the tagging system, I can basically use a chekhov's gun sort of deal, without doing any writing. You know I'm gonna use that gun marked "soulmates" but you don't know when I'm gonna shoot it, and you SURE as hell don't know how.
And huzzah! One of the main points of conflict both drives the tension between Revali and Link, solidifies the unique genre and setting of this world, while also creating a new mystery that will carry over for the next few chapters.
Is Revali right in that Link's rebirth makes him destined for someone new now? What will Link do with the information that his soulmark has changed? Why did it change? Did Revali's change as well? How does anything fucking work right now?
And sure, you might be able to tell where things will end with them, but you sure as fuck will not know how because I HATE you. Fuck you. I want you to suffer and writhe on the ground, motherfucker. How dare you think that I would give you nothing but pure predictable fluff. I am not your goddamn fairy godmother, I will do as I fucking please. You will suffer as you fucking deserve, fuck you and your little tiny--
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/j
Oh! But you might have noticed on my little planning whiteboard thing that there was a little T-Chart! For Revali and Link! That's because the next important thing besides plot (and in a lot of cases, including this one, it's argued to be even MORE important than plot) is
~CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT~
[to the tune of that history of the world video on youtube]
So yes, it's a little T-Chart outlining their character views in relation to the themes. And the great thing about themes is that they're not something you can necessarily predict in the same way you can with the genre and plot.
But now see, I'm very lazy so I'm just gonna plagiarize @hyrule-kingdom-updates thingy [that you should read btw] because they said my point quite clear enough
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Now I don't really need to care about those points about bond and relationships and being understood, because I'm dealing with already established canon characters. I'm not some NERD who dabbles with entire casts of ocs who even cares about ocs not me that's for sure ahaahahaahahahahahaahahahahahAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *cries in my orphaned WTTU fic* AHAHAHA*sobs*DONT FUCKING LOOK AT ME THAT WAY I SWEAR--
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/j I love ocs
But the points I do wanna focus on is the idea that characters provide new perspectives on the theme, and that characters growth can be tracked based on their wants, lies, and needs.
So see, themes can be predicted the same as genre/plot because while you can have the same fanfic plots and tropes, theme will always vary!
Sometimes it's a journey of selfworth with Revali! Sometimes it's an exploration of trauma with Link. Sometimes it's about how you deal with the vulnerabilities of love with Mipha. Sometimes there's straight up NOOOO theme, and people just be fucking, and kissing, and baking, and having a good time. And that is totally fine too!
But I'm not a fucking coward.
I'm gonna weave in themes with my plot, because I fucking can.
I'm not a weakling like you.
Do you hear me, 2019 Kip? Do you hear me Demmers? Do you hear me Quill? I'm coming for your ass. You think you're so great, but I'm coming for you. Rest assured that your graves will be as deep as your sculptured pride--
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Heeeere is that T-Chart again, plus more!
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yyyyyYou might notice that Revali and Link are quite parallel, to paraphrase. Ayoooo, see what I did there? *dabs* I'm a genius. Anywho
They both start off the same way: 100 years ago they were in love and happy. Basically the equivalent of childish naivety. For the first time in their lives, life is whimsical and charming, and they make each other happy. In fact, it's almost a flaw with how they perceive this happiness. But don't worry! It doesn't last long!
You know what happens.
I think the chart is pretty self explanatory. Revali builds walls fast enough to give a republican a wet dream. Meanwhile Link makes every aromantic in the chat groan with his doubled down sentiments in the idea that his chances of being truly happy again are gone.
Now, I can't exactly describe the full on process of the inbetweens, and where Revali and Link are gonna go from here, because...you have to read it for yourself! Heehee...but something I did think was fun was how these character views on the themes are revealed. Because you'll notice that, I never give exposition. Ever.
Ok well, let me rephrase that. I never give exposition scenes. I will never give you a big LOTR fancy wizard scene explaining the ins and outs of a character's question or the world's magic or whatever. I'm a very impatient Kip, and I value efficiency. Nonono, it's all about multi tasking, baby!
Chapter 1: Holes is divided into three parts.
Post 100 Years - Medoh (Establishes Ghost Rev/Bonk Head Link's view)
100 Years Ago - Flight Range (Establishes old Revalink views)
Post 100 years - Mark (Develops Ghost Rev/Bonk Head Link's view in contrast to who they once were)
I think the way that you structure flashbacks is incredible vital, as it's a very quick way to characterize people without having them say stuff like "I used to be like you, until I took an arrow to the knee" or whatever.
And with the main structure of the chapters and the fic as a whole is focus on their characters, that means I can hide whatever other stuff I want in those scenes, becuase you're too busy absorbing the fun character stuff to realizing I'm giving you boring exposition. Like for example:
Post 100 Years - Medoh and Mark
Foreshadowing for the end of the fic
Set up connection to Medoh with Revali
Link has defeated Windblight
Link has been visiting Revali every night for the past few days
Link has already met Kass and presumably Teba
Link doesn't have the Mastersword
Revali's Gale is still an ability that needs master and practice on Link's end
And that's just some of the stuff.
And see, the only reason I can efficiently give all of this information regarding character, and even exposition, is because of the theme. The themes make everything relevant, and everything circles and encompasses one another, so there's absolutely no wasted space. I mean don't even get me started on how it's gonna be to characterize the other characters around this
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I don't wanna talk about the other characters too much either because that's spoilers, but you can probably take a gandar based on my notes.
And oh my god this is just on the theme of the faults that come with "soulmates" and "true love" and all that, and how even magical destined relationships still require work and effort, and that no one thing or person solves all your problems. And that's not even TOUCHING the shit on trauma and scars. I didn't think it was even possible for me to talk about botw without touching on that, ha. Ah well, I've been talking for too long.
Revalink has a lot o' writing potential so das pretty cool yeah, I am excite
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catsplushellhounds · 3 years
Text
favorite headcanons (and theorys?) of glee that i created
i was thinking if i really was going to write this, but im bored so lets go, this got so long and i am so sorry (not really it was fun and i liked it, if you like big metas you probably gonna like this)
*this can have some triggers for some people because i will be talking about bullying, abandonment, depression and violence*
(also i would like to say that most of this are things that i like to believe happened, and idk if the rest of the fandom agrees or if someone said it before and this is all blaine related, i left it glee on the title because it sounded better idk)
- blaine's dad is filipino and he left after blaine came out
i know that blaine said he was there in shooting stars, but hear me out
first of all, to me his name is tod anderson, dont ask me why it just makes sense and i like how it sounds.... so
in sexy, blaine tells burt that his dad tried many times bonding with him, but apparently that didnt work, because he also says "you think my dad built a car with me because he loves cars? i think he did it because he thought getting my hands dirty might make me straight." and after 4x18, he is never mentioned again? and he wasnt on his son's wedding too
so my theory here is that he never accepted that blaine is gay, and all of his "efforts of bonding" were actually because he thought he could "fix" blaine, and when that didnt worked he left, (that also explains blaine's abandonment issues) but he did came back im the shooting episode because he felt guilty for what he did, but after he saw it was a false alarme he went back on pretending he didnt have a gay son
to be really honest sometimes i pretend that his dad wasnt on the shooting day because i feel that it doesnt fit that well into this and i really like this one because its kinda obvious to me that blaine have daddy issues??? so usually i just put on my character-backstory that blaines dad left after he came out and never came back
for the first year that he was gone, blaine spended every night trying to contact him. sometimes he just texted, but most of the times he called and left a message crying begging him to come back and tell him what he'd done that made his father hate him so much, his dad never called or texted back
- blaine's parents
(im not sure if this is canon but blaine's mom is named pam)
i know that technically i've already talked about blaine's family when i was talking about his dad but that is so complex i felt i had to do a topic exclusive for that
i believe blaine has and always had a good relationship with his mother, yes she was usually gone because she works selling a really famous cosmetic line she created (to me the andersons are a really known name) that would explain how blaine could study in a school like dalton (he said so himself that dalton isnt a school that anyone could afford), and why she is never there
but despite her being busy with her job, she always tried to keep im touch with blaine, texting him, and calling and skyping
blaine always missed her, but he tried to not make her feel guilty about working too much, because she loves her job
sometimes he got really depressed, because he wished she could be there to see him sing with his friends, or just be there so that he could hang out with his mom like all of his friends did with their parents
his das was a businessman, i dont know why it just fits to me, also idk what kind of business because i dont understand any of it so thats up to imagination
before he came out, he and his dad were super close, sure his dad a lot of the time was busy but he was at home more than his mom, his dad was the one that introduced him to liking sports, and they always watched games together (cooper would join in too) and his dad always let him have a sip of his beer, blaine always loved those moments and his dad was like a hero to him, he was sure that coming out to him would be easy, because he would love him no matter what
all of the andersons have always been brodway babys, all 4 of them liked to sing, tod was a little bit more serious and didnt dance around the house like cooper, blaine and pam but he enjoyed seeing them having fun
the andersons were like the perfect family of the neirbourhood, all 4 of them are very good looking, talented and educated so yes everybody thought they were perfect
they all lived in the philippines until blaine was 5, and then moved to ohio because tod got a really good job offer there
after blaine came out, his parents argued A LOT. tod would ask himself and pam of what he had done wrong and pam would say its nobodys fault and thats just how blaine is
(to me that was the time tod was revealed to be an asshole and not long after he divorced pam and stoped talking to all of them, except for cooper, he and cooper still talked)
- blaine's bullying
the bullying blaine went through was a lot like kurt's, people laughing at him, shoving him around, beating him up, etc
he tried putting a brave face through it but he started losing all of his light, even more when all of his complains didnt matter at all
it only got sort of better when he met skylar (thats the kid he went to sadie hawkings with, i read in a fic that was his name and stuck with me so im calling him skylar)
skylar was going through the same thing he was, and one time blaine saw him getting shoved at lockers, and helped him pick up his books and thats were they started talking
maybe they liked each other, they never got to find out because after the bash, skylar never spoke to blaine again
blaine was in a 2 week coma after getting beat up, and the first thing he said when he woke up was "where's my dad" and his mom had to gently tell him his das was not there. that was when blaine realized he actually meant nothing to his dad and that broken him even more
he was bashed about 3 months after his father left him, and for the rest of that school year he was homeschooled by a teacher his mother hired
- blaine joining dalton and the warblers
so, since blaine is a year younger than kurt, in my head goes sorta of like this
he came out when he was 13, that was the time he was bullied, beaten up abandoned and homeschooled, and he joined dalton when he was 14, but to be a warbler he had to be a little older than that, so he had to audition to join (im guessing you dont have to audition to be a warbler, just to have a lead, i mean kurt didnt auditioned, right?) and and trent auditioned together, they became friends and were roomates (dalton is a boarding school DONT @ ME EVERYBODY KNOWS ITS TRUE)
it took blaine a while to take the step to audition, because he was still scared, but wes and david helped him and gave him a little seed of the confidence he pretends to have later on, but when he sang for the warblers for the first time they were all blowed away by how good was his singing voice even if he was only 14
after he felt comfortable in the warblers, he became friends with nick and jeff, and they were a trio of dumbassess, wes and david (usually the most mature of all the warblers) sighed everytime they saw nick, jeff and blaine doing something stupid
trent joined in sometimes but he always had been a really chill dude, and he saw blaine as a older brother (even tho blaine is younger than him)
jeff, nick and blaine pulled pranks on wes and david like hiding stuff from them and act all inocent when they asked if they saw said thing
the warblers had a bet going on how long would it take for kurt and blaine to start dating (and yes all of them shipped klaine, and even after kurt and blaine went to mckinley the warblers still kept hearing about them and seeing them on jacob ben israel's blog)
jeff, nick, trent, wes and david were the only real friends blaine had there
wes and david has already gratuated when the slushie happened, and nick, jeff and trent all apologized to blaine after that (even though they had no idea that was gonna happen) but their friendship was never the same
- blaine and cooper's relationship
as we know, blaine and cooper didnt got very along when blaine was growing up, cooper is 9 years older than blaine, and has always been really hard on him and thaat made blaine really dislike cooper, even tho he really wanted for them to be friends, he always has bitter feelings towards him duo to all of the pressure and expectation he was under because cooper was the oldest, and blaine felt like he had to be just as good or better than him, so he also had a lot A LOT of jealousy
but that started to change after "big brother", when they talk things out, cooper finally realizes how blaine feels, and starts doing his best to be best brother to blaine
they dont become besties immediatly, blaine helps him with his audition (which makes kurt really proud and happy seeing cooper being all excited talking to blaine, while blaine is trying to pretend like hes cool but actually hes just as excited), and they start to talk more and more after that
after finn dies is when they start getting actually close, after the funeral, he calls cooper but dosent say the reason why, he just says that he loves him and that he misses his big brother, they call and talk to each other a lot more after cooper finds out about finn
when cooper has a son, he and blaine teach the little guy how to dance and they play a lot of happy and fun piano songs to him
- the anderhummel family
blaine and burt are actually really close, they both like sports and beer so they watch games together and bet about whos gonna win, burt sorta of became the dad blaine lost, but in a non weird way, because they both agreed that blaine calling burt "dad" after he married kurt was just... weird
finn and blaine played a lot of videogames together, sam and puck played with them too, but when kurt was helping on dinner or more interested in a magazine or trying to convince carole to let him do a makeover on her, finn and blaine played videogames and maybe sometimes gossip about kurt and rachel (after he became besties with sam he did that same thing but hey playing videogames and talking about your s/o is fun!)
carole took care of blaine when he was in the hospital for the eye surgery, and when he was hangover at kurt's after biota she helped him with all the vomiting and headaches and all of that
pam met carole and burt when blaine got slushied, blaine was already like family to the hudson-hummels at that point, so when burt found out what happened he ran to the hospital, (carole was already working there anyway) and thats where they met, it wasnt ideal and all of them wete stressed and worried but they got along pretty well
pam, burt and carole werent really close since pam was usually out working, but the few times they sat down to talk to each other they really liked. pam thinks burt and carole are a sweet couple, that raised two wondeful boys and burt and carole think that pam is a sweet and funny lady, they all exchanged embarassing stories about kurt and blaine (that made them go "MOM DONT TELL THEM THAT" or "DAS STOP I WAS 7")
pam absolutely adores kurt, he was fascinated when he found out she had a line of cosmetics and spended hours talking to her about skincare routines
blaine can always make carole laugh, she thinks hes a sweetheart and usually keeps burt from bursting into the room when the door of kurts bedroom is closed ("i told them already, leave at least 2 inches open, is that really so hard??" "honey, relax they're just watching a movie" "im going in there" "no you're not leave the boys alone")
burt has walked in a few times on klaine making out on the couch and he always makes a joke about it to not make it awkward
burt was thrillled to know he was gonna be a grandpa, and he spoils tracy anderson to OBLIVION (blaine doesnt argues because he sorta of does the same thing)
even after both breakups, burt and blaine had always kept in touch, maybe it wasnt what it used to be when he and kurt were still mad at each other, but once they go back being friends, blaine is a little more comfortable in hangin out with the hudson-family
- blaine's depression in s6
i think is canon thay blaine had depression and anxiety during the whole show, right? it just got worse in s6 because kurt breaking up with him was sort of what pulled the trigger
it begun when his father neglected him, and it only got worse and worse, he was abandoned by his father and sometimes felt like by his mother and brother too, he had anxiety and it got worse after sadie hawkings, then kurt and him broke up for the first time, and he kept bottling it all up until it all reached the boiling point and it all exploded when kurt broke up with him
(side note, i think that when kurt started pulling away from him in s6, it reminded him of his dad pulling away too, his dad tried to bond with him but i feel that as harder blaine tried to make his dad stay, didnt matter and his dad kept pulling away until he was gone, that makes a parallel to s6 breakup, and why blaine was trying so SO hard to make kurt stay, because he had been there before, and he wasnt good enough for his dad, and he really wanted to be good enough for kurt)
so, after they breakup, blaine stays in a cheap hotel, not getting out of bed and feeling empty inside, his phone buzzed a little with missing calls from his friends but at some point the batery died and he just ignored, he only charged after 2 days because he probably had to let people know he's still alive
he went back to the loft in the afternoon, because he knew kurt wouldn't be there, he was going away and leaving nothing behind when kurt showed up, blaine was kinda of embarassed because he was probably stinking and his hair and clothes were a mess
im not sure if they talked at all after the breakup night, but i kinda feel that blaine might have said to kurt something like "you think i'm broken? when are gonna realize the problem here isnt just me? i should have known, everytime things get serious and scary between us you run, you're so afraid of something and honestly i have no idea of what, please just stay away from me" (i dont knooow he was angry and being all cold to kurt and shit i think that happened and maybe thats what made kurt go to therapy)
he got kicked out of nyada because he didnt left his hotel room for anything other than food, and he felt even more lost after receiving the email saying he was no longer a student there, thats when he decided to go back to lima
in lima, he barely left his room, he didnt ate for days and when he wasnt crying he was sleeping, his friends would call, text and sometimes try to visit him but he never texted back, answered the calls or opened the doors for them, sam was the only one that had some success because he was living in lima too and could go to blaine's house more often, sometimes he got lucky and blaine would open the door for him
at first he tried to do pep talks to help his bestie get better, but nothing helped so at one point he just sat there with blaine and did nothing with him, because at least like that he wouldnt be alone
one day blaine felt a little better and started trying to be okay again, it was never easy but he got a job at breadsticks, and even tho he would much rather be in his bed he kept working because at least like that his mind was busy with something
after he started therapy, he still felt empty inside, the world was still sorta of grey to him and he didnt felt like doing anything, so he had to take meds for that, and kept taking them even after kurt cane back (but as blaine was getting better they slowly became less and less needed)
when blaine started working at dalton, he was already in a much better place that he was when he came back, and throughout s6 he was still battling depression, and wasnt always okay, sometimes he would still want to just be alone and dont talk to anybody or do anything, and if that happened when he was surronded with people he would just be more quiet, that sometimes got rachel and kurt's attention, because they're not used to this "new" blaine and when they asked him if he was doing okay he would just say "yeah, im just tired" sam later on explained to them what that usually meant, it meant that blaine needed some alone time because he was draining himself a lot
- blaine at nyada vs blaine at nyu
soooo i have a good theory about this one, at nyada blaine was constantly surronded by people who would probably kill someone to get at the top, to be the best
and was such a competitive place, that ended up being toxic for blaine. i used to think that he didnt fit there because he always was one of the best in show choir and dalton and he was always *that* guy, but now i think he didnt fit there because actually he dosent like competition that much
okay, sure, playful competiton with your friends its fun, show choir competiton is fun, fighting with tina, mercedes, rachel, santana and unique about solos was fun because it was serious but he was with his friends so okay, whatever
but the competition they had at nyada was just SO MUCH, and lets agree nyada is kinda of a toxic place in general, people made fun of kurts face and clothing there, rachel's "friends" ditched her when she lost the diva off to kurt and started kissing up to him, and (im not sure about this one but like 99%) people laughed when blaine lost to kurt at combat's class
my point is, in nyada, people only like you if you do well in classes, there's a lot of lying and backstabbing going on and c'mon blaine pratically grew up like this with cooper
always not good enough, always behind, always made fun of, never being great at anything, so maybe thats why blaine felt so stressed at nyada, and why he gets so insecure in 5x16, seeing kurt being praised and getting all of that attention might have reminded him of the years he and cooper didnt get along so well
he didnt found himself at nyada, mostly he was there because it was said to be the best school and rachel and kurt were there, so great, right?
but i get the feeling that at nyu things were a little lighter, not easier, but lighter, it didnt had so much toxic people, it wasnt a place where it was kill or be killed, people helped each other when needed and yes there was still competition, obviously but (almost) nobody made fun of people for failing
(i said almost there because im sure there was some douchbags there too, they're everywhere, but i hope you got my point)
- blaine's friendships
i am almost done i am so sorry this is so long i've been here for like 2 hours
i have some small headcanons about blaine's friends, because we did NOT get enough of his friendships (im leaving kurt out of this one because maybe one day ill do a meta/hc/theory about klaine....... maybe)
mike and blaine were besties on s3
they both like to dance and sometimes they+brittany would do a dance number together, sometimes for the glee club to see, sometimes only to themselves because thats fun
mike talked with blaine after the its not right but its okay number to see what happened and if he was okay (actually it was mostly blaine just venting about it "AND THEN HE SAID HE WANTED TO MAKE KURTS VOICE HIS RINGTONE I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK????????")
blaine talked to mike about mike's dad because he knew what mike was going through and they both agreed thay family sucks sometimes
after mike graduated he and blaine kept têxtil each other and sometimes sending gifs or videos of dance moves to each other
santana and blaine were actually really good friends
after the glee club found out about what santana's grandmother had done when she came out, when they were alone blaine told santana about his dad, even tho he was afraid she was gonna tell everyone because he doesnt like talking about it, just so that she would know that shes not alone and its not her fault, santana never once teased or told anyone about this, she always sorta of liked him and thought he was nice but that moment she started seeing him as a friend
while preparing for the new directions vs warblers in 3x11, santana tried helping blaine bring out his inner bad boy, she helped him pick his outfit and they planned together the whole performance
(im stealing this one from a post i rebloged i guess a day ago? i didnt found the blog to tag but this is the post) > santana and blaine are friends on facebook, and follow each other on twitter and instagram, and they always spam on each others profiles because they're comfortable to do that with each other
santana kinda sees blaine as a male version of brittany, so she has this need of protecting him (which is kinda why she was super invested in getting him justice for his eye)
speaking of his eye, when he was at home before surgery, santana went there and told that she was gonna make sebastian confess what he'd put on thr slushie, blaine asked her how she knew where she lived but she cut him off, she also came back there after and told him everything, and she and kurt asked him what he wanted to do about it
brittany and blaine really were sunshine twins
they always liked each other, blaine didnt get her at first, but he got used to it
she always talked to him about cats, and what lord tubbington was up to, she tried inviting him to fondue for 2 but he knew that she would ask some really private questions so he always came up with an excuse
after he almost went back to dalton, she (alongside with tina, sam and marley) tried to make him feel as welcome as possible
when she was dating sam, sometimes the three of them would go to her house after school and cuddle in her bed with lord tubbington while watching a movie
when britt was planning their weddings, she asked blaine to try up some suits (with the excuse that she wasnt sure the one she picked was right), but she asked him that like a day after he kissed kurt at rachels party so she could tell he was kinda sad and asked him why, he told her and she said it was gonna be okay because their love was magical (it was weird but it did made blaine feel good, so...) she was also the only person he told that
blaine and britt always have ideas like "we should totally put glitter in the entire room to celebrate our wedding aniversary!" kurt and santana shut down the idea at the same time
blamtina were like 3 chaotic brothers
sam and blaine would have a dumb idea that would result in absolute chaos (but funny tho) and tina always plays along with them even if she thinks its a bad idea
the three of them are completely harry potter nerds, sam and blaine are hufflepuffs while tina is a ravenclaw, in a halloween party in s4 they went as the golden trio
after graduation, sam and blaine still skyped tina and told her all about ny, and she would tell them all about her collage
sam kept his promise of sending his imitations to tina and blaine sometimes would call her to vent about a fight he and kurt had
blaine read all of the harry potter books to sam
after sam talked blaine into staying at mckinley, sam and tina would always be with blaine, always talking to him, and spending time with him, thats how the 3 of them got so close
marley and blaine were good friends
when marley joined the new directions, blaine was one of the first to make her feel welcome
when blaine almost left for dalton, she tried make him see that she liked him in the nd too, and would randomly start talking to him so that he wouldnt feel alone
she would rant about jake to him sometimes, like how he wanted to have sex but she wasnt ready, and blaine told her she should do it only when she felt comfortable
after she got suspended, he apologized for yelling at her because of the performance, and remembered mr schue that she was recovering from an eating desorder and that he shouldnt be so hard at her
unique and blaine were "frenemies"
they started off not liking each other, since they both wanted it to be the new rachel, even after blaine won, he and unique still were kinda competitive with each other
but eventually they became sort-of-friends, they sang together sometimes when no one else was there, and they liked to pretend to not like each other but yes they did and it was just their thing
sometimes marley would do a sleepover and she would call blaine, unique and tina, while marley was talking about jake or tina was talking about missing mike, blaine would braid unique's wig and she would try to convince him to let her see his hair without gel
when the whole plot of unique and the bathroom happened, when mr schue told everyone he couldnt give up twerking, blaine stood up for unique saying that wasnt fair and mr schue should try harder to help her, he also held her hand (alongside with marley) when she was scared of having to go to the bathroom again
blaine and mercedes talked to each other more than twice :O
lol ok im not sorry for that title
mercedes and blaine LIVED together people, she used to be kurts best friend, and sams girlfriend are you telling me they barely talked to each other? no
in fact, they really like each other's company, blaine is kinda of a goofball and mercedes thinks its funny
he would ask her to talk to sam when blaine wanted something from him, and mercedes did the same with kurt
sam and blaine would do stupid things together (like dance around their house in their underwear) just to make mercedes laugh, they swore to never tell anyone, and they never did
sometimes at 3 am when no one could sleep they would all have a little dance party until they got tired
blaine and mercedes are junky food addicts, they eat healthy and stuff but they love some cake at 5 in the morning
one time when kurt and mercedes were arguing about the tots, blaine sided with mercedes and told her he agreed that tots are delicious
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icecreamkink · 3 years
Text
watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.
feelings.
very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful
anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start
in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr
listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?
For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies
i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics
fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service
slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it
wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0
i lov them
through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart
in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back
my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think
no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 
some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART
lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 
being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize
wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 
that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.
 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss
fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-
and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy
i have Learned. caves = gay.
 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)
the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it
early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 
EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 
i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance
 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)
jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"
jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry
lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((
up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all
seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez
that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir
 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE
when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious
all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them
hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)
its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
they are SO insufferable pleeeeease
in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”
in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.
 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss
the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)
ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok
you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 
jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)
i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 
the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic
and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic
i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon
and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 
The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 
wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh
me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”
its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ
everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 
ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 
“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;
the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes
untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo
related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 
and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 
 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 
highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.
lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 
on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn
also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'
when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///
hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss
they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad
when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN
so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted
even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 
wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)
the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid
wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)
LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k
take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood
zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 
cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!
wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn
everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 
showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 
justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁
jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief
my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession
the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 
“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”
"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd
also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice
yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON
they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((
wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer
both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w
;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all
wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience
the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected
on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY
lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;
 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together
also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy
wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation
did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins
jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;
i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 
im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 
when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 
also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point
 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?
wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"
unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 
and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 
jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say
i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-
 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE
a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 
literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour
babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 
(not that the pain is over LOL)
lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’
“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 
and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......
and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 
THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  
great now i made myself sad
and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??
JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 
and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it
enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏
 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him
babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  
one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks
wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺
so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh
a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 
her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao
 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 
like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby
and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 
anjo sensato :(
xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...
the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof
song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 
wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 
THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change
should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells
the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is
u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 
BAT WEN NING 
wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 
(they didnt) (yet)
DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.
i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again
also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever
mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy
also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious
i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something
jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he
the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 
in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT
oh my god oh my god
the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead
lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞
also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck
i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...
poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'
ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth
wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 
ME ON THE OTHER HAND"
the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*
"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard
not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho
i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...
re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?
idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling
i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again
jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god
and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night
i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not
jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'
the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl
never trust a dude with a fan.
nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 
when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.
and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy
netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)
the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........
there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 
that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*
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sanchoyo · 3 years
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danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?
see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3
-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.
-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...
-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question
-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)
-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.
-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*
-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.
-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!
-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...
-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.
-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?
-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.
-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.
-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.
-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?
-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.
-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)
-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao
-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.
-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...
-is he....
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-you know....
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.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)
-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!
-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!
-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.
-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)
-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.
-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...
-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.
-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...
-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.
-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)
-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/
-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize
-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.
-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)
-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...
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-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)
-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!
-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.
-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!
-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(
-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!
-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)
-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.
-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!
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the person talking abt how they have to hide being queer from their family just like same that hit home so hard, and also same to learning so much abt queer history I started learning from harry and louis (through the bears bc of course, duh) and I took up reading the books rbb and sbb hv had on them and hv been mentioned (judy garland!!) anyway so I learnt sooo much more than like I knew existed? idk if that makes sense and it also made me realise that i hv a lot of internalised homophobia and it does feel incredibly lonely sometimes, because I hv no friends that are out and proud and the group of ppl at my school who are, are so nice and friendly and polite and i love talking to them in the hallways or in class when we get paired up but im so scared of like actually integrating myself into their crowd (the one time i tired to attend a meeting I had a panic attack in the bathroom) and i dont know why im telling u all this
and I dont think ppl fully understand what its like everywhere else in the world because im never going to forget this one time at a party where a girl and her girlfriend got shouted and leered at by all those boys (and their girlfriends who just let it happen, I've literally heard one of those girls talk abt how amazing it is to have a gay best friend) and how when one of them responded back by telling them off for their disgusting behaviour the boys physically started approaching them in a threatening manner
theres also these rumours that circulate sometimes abt why some ppl arent coming to school for days at a time and when they do finally show up they're slightly bruised and its bc [insert person] did smth to them and so many ppl will just casually throw into the conversation their sexuality, like everyone will be talking abt what happened and what they heard and some random dumbass will quip "I heard they're gay" and they'll whisper it, like its forbidden or smth and everyone will nod their heads like yes I understand now, like it fucking makes sense that this happened and it makes me want to punch someone
and its so fucking scary to think abt how these things just happen and ppl pretend they dont see it and everytime someone tells me i can trust an adult i think of the 3 teachers who all passed by a student who was very rainbow (it was pride month) and watched some dude basically bang his shoulder into him and the dude laughed and walked away when the guy in rainbow tripped and they did nothing
and online I see so many ppl talk abt how its ok to be gay in all these big cities and how everyone so open now! and everythigns ok! and yay to gay! gay ppl are privileged! fucking bullshit I say
because all these memories of horrific things come to mind evertyime someone says that and I dont know where ppl are getting the idea its ok everywhere now
and the first time I heard a group of ppl talk abt harry styles in a dress on the cover of vogue i got so excited bc i had secretly gone out and bought my younger brother (he likes to wear dresses and nail polish) a copy and how I had done that so damn discreetly and how damn hard it was to get it to him through my parents to him, it was so exciting and we were !!! jumping for joy and the next day at school some girl by the lockers and she called him queer like it was an insult and that got so deep in my soul and its still there, the way she said it, the way she phrased it
and im sorry this is so long ik that persons post wasnt even abt how ppl say thats 'its cool to be gay now' and that it still very much isnt but it got that out of me and u dont hv to read all this im just having a bad day im sorry :((
i hope u hv a good day tho ella u're lovely and v kind nd u make me happier and i love reading ur thoughts and I'll stop typing now <3
kind anon!! i wanna hug you so tight!!!!!
i'm so sorry you're in a place rn where you don't feel safe, where you aren't safe, where people around you are actively hostile. truly truly sorry.
you're right, the world has not caught up at all, it's a nonexistent reality that being queer has been accepted, let alone embraced everywhere. hell, i live in brussels and if i hold a girl's hand we're gaped at. when i first wore my pride pin on my bag i was terrified. when i lived in my smaller town growing up it was very much like how you describe it (tho less violent, thankfully, which really breaks my heart to read about your situation).
it can be a lonely place to grow up, and really hateful, and you saying you have a lot of internalised homophobia also hits home for me. i'm still unlearning every day. it's all the hostility surrounding us that makes us conform so as not to be the target of it, yk. nothing to ever be ashamed of, bc it's not our fault we were raised to hate ourselves.
same with the queer ppl in your neighborhood, don't be ashamed of being afraid. take your time, go at your own pace, and slowly take some steps towards them. it'll be worth your while, but i know it can be scary. be kind to yourself above all <3
you sound like a wonderful sibling to your brother - goes to show how we'll always find a way to stick together and find our role models, despite the limits others put up!!
stay queer (laudatory), baby!!!
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cheerioss · 3 years
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Sole crusher thought bubbles 👠
disclaimer: dont read if u havent watched sole crusher
so i finally found a video with subs (again big shoutout to fellow translators out there yall r AWESOME) so yes we be having another crazy session :>
- omg that tour rlly makes me wanna go paris!! too bad we cant actually see lb and chat patrolling around 😔
- omg tom and sabine’s bakery is officially the best bakery in paris YES
- idk if it’s just me but zoe gives off ✨ gay vibes ✨
- the second marinette hears abt zoe only having one friend she immediately showers her with food and love and exchange numbers WHO WOULDNT LOVE THAT GIRL
- i know some ppl r asking why we’re getting another new character but honestly i find it refreshing and also i may or may not already be trying to adopt that girl oop-
- audrey ma’am do u just wear those sunglasses everywhere???? like u’re literally indoors reading a magazine
- chloe those r literally the tackiest shoes i have ever seen how is audrey not screaming at them
- OMG POOR SABRINA SOMEONE PLS SAVE HER
- okay i honestly was wondering why the sudden attitude change but now im realising that she’s acting to actually fit in djejdjjene
- chloe: “all the boys must fall over for u and the handsome ones must carry ur stuff” also chloe: picks someone who is not all that good looking (no offense to the guy :< )
- uhhhhh where did that red carpet come from????
- did- did she just say she’ll buy her a new name???? uhhh her name isnt all that different from yours ma’am
- okay ngl zoe’s a rlly good actress (ahem liela take some notes)
- oooh but she’s in aurore’s class??? i can totally see them being besties doedkke
- rose: “can we adopt her??” OMG U SWEET CHILD CAN I ADOPT U????
- marinette seeing right thru zoe’s act and trusting the girl she just met in the morning 🥺
- okay i always thought andre was like ehhh but he just wanted to be loved by his family omg i hope he can stand up for himself and achieve his dreams 😭😭
- omg zoe my poor baby I WISH I CAN GIVE U A HUG
-OMG WAS ANDRE THE DIRECTOR OF THAT MOVIE ADRIEN’S MUM WAS IN THAT WOULD BE SO COOL AND ALSO IS THAT KAGAMI WITH LONGER HAIR???? TOMOE IS THAT U???
-HAWKMOTH LEAVE ZOE ALONE SHE JUST ARRIVED
- oh frick the akumatised item isnt on her this is interesting
- also idk if anyone’s told gabriel but that shadowmoth outfit he’s got on is kinda ugly and he’s a fashion designer —
- NO JEAN U WERE MY FAVOURITE BG CHARACTER NOOOOOO
- chloe, the first reaction when u see an akuma isnt to ask why they stole ur image U R IN DANGER GIRL
- okay idk why the cheese floating im space sent me 🤡
- omg chat arriving and marinette just being like “shush it kitty im not done” HAHAHAHA
- chat waiting for marinette to finish before tripping sole crusher WE STAN A GENTLEMAN
- omg chat suggesting he cataclysma here before she destroys the city 😦 wut is this man capable of
- okay i didnt recognise the lucky charm object this is why i cant be lb yalls 😔😔
- HOW IS NO ONE BOTHERED BY SABRINA HIDING IN THE CLOSET SAVE HER
- wow that was a slow punch if i’ve ever seen one
- hello where can i get one if those charms they’re so pretty 🥺🥺🥺
- awww ivan was the first one to hug zoe i love u mannn also did yall see adrien’s face GIVE SUNSHINE BOY A HUG PLEASE
- audrey listening to chloe??? who r u and wut have u done to audrey bourgeois
- aww i can see this father daughter relationship between andre and zoe even tho she isnt his actual daughterrrr i rlly hope this will help him stand up for himselfff :<
- okay i rlly love that pink hair thooo wishing i had light coloured hair now :<<<
okayy that’s all for today folks thanks for joining :D
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nightswithkookmin · 3 years
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Imo there is enough to support the possibility of a romantic relationship, but you are writing full on narratives with impossible specificity. You know what confirmation bias is but some young impressionable people dont yet . Forgive me but misleading with ' alt facts' can hurt someone even if you dont mean it. I think you are a good person not looking to hurt anyone. But the way you postulate without any evidence makes your actions a little but like those of a charlatan. Peace and kindness
All these kind words you spew...
It feels more like an advice than a question so I'm not sure how to respond to it...
Let me just say thank you? I never quite understood what the brouhaha was about with my posts but after talking to a few people, 'on the other side' lol and reading your Ask, I think I'm starting to get a better sense of what the problem is.
Something about young impressionable minds or people?
Let the council of elders know, those are not my audience please. I cater to a much more mature audience- at least so far. The people that I interact with and engage with on my posts on and off Tumblr are very mature and not impressionable at all.
They are People with brains who can tell an opinion from fact and can engage in deep complex controversial conversations without throwing up, shedding tears or cussing through to the heavens.
If there are 'impressionable people' reading my blogs- they do so at their own risk. If you know any such people or they run to you with my theories kindly point out to them it's just theory because that's what my opinions are.
I think the best thing you can do is to advice such people to grow up if they are going to sit at the adult table or not read my posts at all. I think you need to learn to hold the right people accountable for their actions.
The best I can do in this case- to hold myself accountable, is to put up a disclaimer on my posts to let people know what it is that they are reading- something I do quite often. But I will make conscious efforts to put up those disclaimers each time henceforth. Thank you.
That I write full on narratives with impossible specificity:
Is this Latin for, 'you write fiction get the fuck outta here?' Chilee.
I don't even know what you mean by this exactly so I may not be able to respond to it to your satisfaction. Bare with me.
So what if I write fiction? What is wrong with writing fiction? Do you hate fiction writers? I don't get what the hate is with these complaints honestly. Do you want me to put up a disclaimer stating my blogs are fiction? Would that help? I would glady do it.
If it helps you sleep at night think of my blogs as fiction- a rose by any other name. I've been keeping up with Shakespeare. Lol.
I don't think it's that deep. Listen, you gotta understand that just because we both 'ship' Jikook don't mean we are on the same team...
Most alt shippers I know and who read my posts and engage with it are not even Army to begin with, for your information. They could care less about these shipping politics of yours. Have you thought about that?
Some simply ship JK and JM and support them because they believe they are members of the LGBTQ plus community not because they are part of BTS.
There are different communities out there who are also into Jikook- for very different reasons. You gotta respect that.
To you, Jikook is just a ship within BTS that may or may not be real, but to some of us they have very much outgrown that description...
They are a brand of their own, a power couple and members of the LGBTQ plus community- Gay Icons extraordinaire. I think we take very different stock in Jikook. So stop trying to fit us all into one box.
It's disrespectful to try and control the way that people perceive their OTP and support them. Jikook don't just belong to Army Jokers, they belong to different communities outside Army. Are you aware of that?
And please don't confuse the intersect. I am an alt-shipper yes but I just so happen to be an Army too. But if I wasn't an Army, I'd still pretty much 'ship' and support Jikook- make no mistake. There are quite a few of us running around these streets, you know?
So you have every right to want to gatekeep your Army Jikook- but you have to do that without infringing on other rights of other 'Jikook communities.'
Throughout my blogs I have tried to shed light on what altshipping is because I thought it would help bridge the gap but clearly that hasn't worked. Sigh.
Misleading alt facts
Do you not know what it means or you are just being ironic?👀
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Why is it ok for you to believe and proclaim that JK and BigHit lied about JK dating the Tattoo artist but it's not ok for me to believe JK is telling the truth when he says he didn't date her and that BigHit saw an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone- hence why they didn't press charges against the shop for breach of privacy like they had said they were going to do. Instead, they had asked the shop to keep calm till the scandal died down on it's own?
You start your piece off with the whole, 'there is enough evidence to support a romantic relationship' between JK and the tattoo shop lady- I assume.
For context, this Ask by this anon is in response to my recent post/ answer on the tattoo girl scandal where the topic of discussion was on BigHit, JK and the tattoo artist and not Jikook perse.
A statement that is in direct conflict with JK's statement, BigHit's and the lady in questions, all denying that there was a romantic relationship between her and Jungkook- and somehow I am misleading who- who now with my theory??? Chileee.
Do you see the problem here? Double standards- the hallmark of bigotry. Lmho. You are literally doing the very thing you are accusing me of. Making confident assertions and claiming you know more about JK and the Lady's relationship and even have 'enough evidence' contrary to BigHit, JK and the Tattoo artist's statements denying the rumors- at least when I theorize I admit I'm being delusional. What's your excuse? When you say charlatan are you referring to yourself? You must be. Lmho.
Now I'm confident in my comprehension skills and intelligent enough to know when you make an assertion like this- it is your opinion and you are just stating your opinion. If you are not then honey you'd be opening yourself up to some serious litigation... goodluck I guess. Lol.
You are allowed to form an opinion about a topic. There is nothing wrong with that. If to you, JK and this person dated that is fine. I am not going to cyber bully you, stalk you, throw slurs at you, harrass you, dox you, slid into people's Dms to spread hate and lies about you just because I don't agree with your opinion. And for the record, I don't agree with your opinion. Hehehehe.
I have stated my opinion on the matter. I said I think JK and this person did hang out, go on dates but that there was no romantic sexual relationship between them because I believe that would have had much serious consequences and effects on Jikooks dynamics no matter how much they tried to keep a cool facade. Whoever felt cheated on would have acted more insecure than usual post the incident- how does this make me a charlatan? Are you saying it's wrong it have an opinion? Chileee.
Now if you can produce 'evidence' of them having sex or even kissing, then I will gladly change my mind on the topic and not sweat it.
Jikook have done way worse questionable things in 7 good years and people still don't believe they are dating. Jk hangs out with a female friend a few times in less than a month and suddenly he is dating her? Lmho.
You don't need me to tell you people are more eager to accept a heterosexual relationship than wrap their heads around the fact that two male idols are gay and in a gay relationship with eachother. Don't you just love it when homophobia meets heteronormativity and stinks? I do. Lol.
I mean this is a fandom that thinks JK is 'too touchy' and doesn't respect his boundaries- they practically swear JK is cheating on Jimin with every member any time he hugs, kisses, wings at within the group. You think they will be 'objective' about JK hanging out with a girl? Even if it happened once?
You said something about confirmation bias.... I will not touch it. Lmho.
This is not the first time JK has gone on a date with a girl. This is not the first time he has 'dated a girl', he has hand girls on his laps or whatever- what is a back hug? I think people need to stop defining Jikook's lives by their own standards. If a backhug is intimate to you. Thats you. If you think a grown ass man cannot hang out with a female friend, that's equally you.
You think if he thought it was inappropriate and risky he would do it 'in public?' Get with Kpop Idol dating culture. Lmho.
Do you know the lengths they go through to keep their relationships a secret? Especially non celebrity girlfriends? Chen from EXO got married and where is his wife? They keep their flings tighter than Trump keeps his toupee on his head. Lol.
They hide them not out of shame but out of love and the need to protect their loved ones. These idols have family members who have their restaurants and businesses shut down because they want to keep their privacy.
You think JungKook's girlfriend would- on her own, issue a statement regarding a scandal that Jungkook's agency had specifically directed her and her shop to keep quiet about and lay low till it blew away on its own? And later, started liking couple posts about her and JK? If they were dating, certainly JK would have dumped her after that move. In my opinion.
You think JK would let his fandom drag the person he is in a relationship with to the extent she loses her Job- when in his Itaewon gay pub scandal BigHit referred to the issue as his private affair immediately it happened? They could have kept the same energy with her, no?
They handled his gay pub scandal much better, with much respect and consideration for his privacy- if he dated her sorry but she mustn't have meant much to him at all. And if I were her I would have dumped him for that shit and not stay liking couple posts about us. Damn- But do you.
Taehyung was in a scandal with a girl too- did you see her liking posts and shit and going out of her way to do the most? Did you see how BigHit handled that scandal?
Nothing wrong if JK is 'dating' her or had 'dated' her and whatever person he decides he wants to be in a relationship with I will support him- that's why I support Jikook.
But your opinion is equally valid my guy. Just don't call me a charlatan for mine. You believe they dated, I believe they didn't- and to your impressionable young minds, I hope you are not selling them anything contrary to BigHit and JK's statement. That would be very irresponsible of you. Lol.
What else did you say?
Oh postulating without evidence...
Next time I write a theory based on my observations about Jikook, remind me to break off a piece of my brain and attach it to it- I guess that way people would finally understand when I say things like 'I think' 'in my opinion' 'I feel' 'I believe' that these are just my thoughts and opinions and not facts.
Let me leave you with this:
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Peace and kindness. Namaste.
Signed,
GOLDY.
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spidermanifested · 3 years
Text
remember when i said in my post about how bido is unappreciated that id talk about why greed/bido is a good and important ship but thats a whole other post. well This is that post
the first and most important reason that greed/bido is a good ship is very simple and that reason is Bido Was In Love With Greed The Whole Time And Nobody Noticed?????? how come nobody noticed. i mean SOME people noticed but nowhere NEAR enough people noticed
when greed compliments bido for successfully proving that alphonse is just a soul bound to a suit of armor, he blushes and acts very flustered and happy. unfortunately this scene is not animated in either show (bido talking to greed is changed to be over the phone in 03, and in brotherhood the scene just gets skipped, HOWEVER theres a single shot of bidos face in one of greeds flashbacks that shows him blushing and looking directly at the camera. ie at greed)
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also in the manga his first thought when the military shut down the nest was to worry about whether greed SPECIFICALLY was okay (i used this page in my other post as well but its important)
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and in brotherhood he was shown to have actually followed greed through the sewers during his fight with bradley but could only watch from his hiding place as greed was defeated and taken away; remembering this is what gives him the determination to hitch a ride to central to look for him
did i mention he went all the way to central to find him!!! clinging to a MILITARY TRUCK no less. as a very obvious chimera if he had been found by any of those soldiers it would have been horrible for him and every other time we ever saw bido faced with danger he ran away from it. but he was brave For Greed. he went into the labyrinth under central For Greed, and didnt try to escape until he was convinced greed wasnt there. and when it turned out he WAS there (and had lost his memory and had been trying to kill him) he immediately dropped his guard and walked closer to him because that was greed and he trusted him despite everything that had just happened. in the manga he grabs onto greeds coat as he dies and it is just about the saddest thing ive ever seen in my whole life
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and then of course greed starts physically shaking because what he just did was so awful his body knows he fucked up before his mind even remembers Why it was fucked up and he cradles bidos body in his arms and screams. unfortunately if we are to acknowledge bido as the gay icon he was, we also must acknowledge that he was buried
(by all rights bido SHOULD have survived. where is the fanfiction where he survives fullmetal alchemist fandom or are you too busy writing the same royai-gets-married-and-has-babies fic over and over again. actually never mind i greatly prefer that to all the pedophilia. but thats another Other post, that unlike this incredibly niche topic some other people have almost definitely made before me)
the thing about grido is you could make a huge tragic thing about it being unrequited and frankly thats Fair, greed does not seem one to settle down in a relationship and bido likely has a lot of self worth issues that would prevent him from confessing his feelings. but you cannot deny that greed cared about him. he praises him, he pats him on the head (!!)
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he COMPLETELY breaks down after he realizes he killed him. bido was so important to greed, as were the rest of the chimeras of course but i think theres a valid argument to be made that bido in particular was special to him. theyve got a few things in common actually that i find interesting:
both like to just chill on roofs??? when greed is in lings body he sometimes just hangs out on top of a roof. bido does this too
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they could have hung out on roofs together.......maybe thats why greed likes to be up there. because he hung out with bido on roofs a lot. please consider this possibility
both of them are accidentally rude to children. the same children in fact
greed is like 200 and looks 30 while bido is middle-aged and people think he is a baby for some reason?????
okay this is just straight up a headcanon and has no actual basis in the text or subtext of fma but I Think Bido Is Trans and was cast out by his family in his youth and greed would understand that experience!!!! having left his own terrible family because they wanted him to be someone he wasnt
and then there are the differences:
greed is very outgoing and bido is mostly pretty anxious, though he has outbursts of confidence; that might be because greed being nice to him has built up his self-esteem (the way he calls himself cool/awesome when he escapes from the elrics, directly followed by greed complimenting his skills, really makes me think this is the case)
one is tall and lean........the other...is short and fat....... i know its cliche but let me have this
bido overthinks things. greed is a jock. with their powers combined they can do things at a mostly reasonable pace (as long as bido doesnt just go along with whatever greed wants which is probably most of the time what happens)
bido is outwardly inhuman and weird-looking but is incredibly caring and hard-working and loyal and sweet. greed is the sexiest motherfucker alive but hes literally the personification of a deadly sin and at his core he is technically just a rock made of pain. but below these layers both of them want the exact same thing which is to care about others and be cared for in return
also you know that post about how ships between immortal people and super young adults (or worse, teenagers) are OUT and instead we should have stories about immortal people dating 40-something accountants. bido is the 40-something accountant. except not an accountant. you know what im getting at though hes an Established Adult 
and bido DESERVES it, he deserves to be loved by the person he cares about more than anything, he has been through so much and gotten nothing but pain and he needs something good for a change!!! and greed DESERVES someone who will love him with all his heart and make him feel wanted no matter what. just, listen to me okay, they would make each other so happy
so!!! there are MANY reasons this ship is interesting and a million different ways you could go about exploring it and there is just NONE of it out there. for some reason the chimera that gets shipped the most with greed is dolcetto (though ive seen martel as well) and i think that is probably because they are more attractive to people (and also id wager more than a few dollars people simply see a dogman and his boss and go wild for the petplay angle). like you dont see any greed/roa either and thats very telling since roa appears with the other two almost every time and nothing about him is different except hes older and not as. pretty i guess???? in my humble onion hes hotter than either dolcetto or martel but thats neither here nor there
the important thing about bidos relationship to greed is that he might not have been transmuted with an animal with a strong sense of loyalty, but he didnt NEED to be, to be loyal to greed. he loved him entirely because he was human. and in the end he did the most for him out of any of the chimeras. unfortunately it was via dying but through the power of imagination we can collectively ignore that and pretend both he and greed survived, and greed went back to his original sexy, sexy body, and they made out on a roof for several consecutive hours. thats how im coping at least. thank you so much for listening to my unhinged rambling about lizard man who dies of fullmetal alchemist (gay edition)
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doomstypewriter · 3 years
Note
would u do forbidden love, secret relationship moceit? i was thinking a pseudo-historical au, ideally with homophobia as the motivator for the forbidden/secret part but if u absolutely dont wanna do that janus being an outlaw would also work i suppose. just some whacky bois sneaking through windows to hang out, nearly being caught smooching, funny hijinks, then! sudden melancholy about how in love they are & never being able to show it
Finally, anon, I am done!!!!  I gladly present to you the final chapter, just in time for Valentine's Day (call that timing (once you read the thing you'll get this reference)). 
 Hope you enjoy it, and thank you for giving me the chance to write something this cool! 
<< Chapter 1                                       AO3
We call it an affair because it's a forbidden romance 
Word count: 9376 
 Summary: Janus is dumb. He may be intelligent, but intelligence isn't at odds with poor foresight. So he makes a mistake that can get him killed. Romina is very gay and very angry. Patton is confused but does his best. Virginia is the only one with a functioning brain cell. Or, how a chain of misunderstandings almost ruins everything. 
 TW: Seemingly Unsymphathetic fem!Roman (not really, she is just feeling very hurt and angry and it is all resolved eventually), mild transphobia, mentions of blood, mentions of violence (there is a sword fight), mild misogyny, internalised misogyny, internalised homophobia, homophobia, mild threats of violence (again, the sword fight), swearing... I think that's all, but if you spot anything else tell me. 
Chapter 2: The rest of their lives 
The light raised above the darkness and it was morning again. In two days time, Patton would be meeting the countess, just so he could start properly courting her, not because his father wanted to get a title and land for his son. To suggest such a thing would be ridiculous. Scandalous even!
Reputation ruining…
Janus got up from his cot, unfit for the heavy silks that covered it, some stolen, some gifted by Patton. He looked at the things surrounding him. His house wasn’t so bad. It was in fact bigger than the places inhabited by most peasants, and a palace compared to the things in which people like him had to sleep… the things where he had had to lay in. The house consisted of one room, like most, but the size made up for the lack of divisions. 
This was a cave reimagined as a home. The walls had been lined with timber and thoroughly coated with stucco, the curving grooves of its application were not that noticeable, Janus was not a professional but he had certainly done his best. Aside from the absence of windows, it didn’t resemble a cave. There was a section of rock he had left uncovered at the very back, where water seeped out of the wall and provided him with a steady source of the thing. He would prefer not drinking watered-down stucco. 
He began to get dressed. All of his clothing was stored within a small but beautifully carved cupboard he had stolen from a manor in Bohemia. He had plenty of garments from here and there, five outfits in total! Stolen as well. 
In the house, what he hadn’t crafted himself he had stolen. Perfume bottles from France, boots and gold from the Kingdom of Aragon, a stiletto and a medium-sized silver mirror from the Republic of Venice… he even had two tapestries. 
But, even then, it was nothing compared to Villa Morandi. He surrounded himself with opulence to quench his thirst for wealth, the easy life of those above. His home was an illusion, a taste of richness, in which a poor man could pretend. This was not a place where Patton could live, let alone want to. 
If he was to spread rumours, then what? A plan of keeping Patton to himself would not succeed and his lover’s life would be as good as done. 
After packing his fanciest clothes and putting on the ones he used for travelling, he set to leave. He carried his stiletto, a grappling hook and a sword, all three perfectly hidden under his cape. 
Using a hidden pulley system, Janus moved the boulder that hid the entrance to the cave, returning it to its place afterwards. No one would find his home no matter how long he left.
The path down the slope of the mountain twisted and turned. Janus was in no disposition to waste time, so he went across the forest. Half-lost in the trees lay the cabin of a woodsman’s family. A while ago, Janus had left them a steed along with one florin. The family cared for the horse, not knowing exactly what to do. As the horse appeared and disappeared, bringing them thirty soldi each time, they began to get the gist.  Upon reaching the cabin, he headed for a well-built timber shed where his horse waited, fed and rested. 
He left thirty soldi on a small stool at the corner of the shed, mounted his horse, and galloped away. 
The Regio county manor was two days away by horse. 
Patton left yesterday, as his carriage would take longer to get there, stops and all, than one man on horseback. 
Janus paused at the base of the mountain. With one whistle his hawk surfaced from the sea of trees to land on his forearm-length glove. 
“You are to find Signor Morandi’s and Patton’s carriage. Follow them without drawing attention to yourself, find me and report to me at dusk. If anything urgent were to happen, come to my side immediately”.
-------------------------
His room at the inn felt quiet despite the muffled sounds from down below, where people chanted and told stories. 
The cool breeze wouldn’t be half-unpleasant if he wasn’t leaning on the ledge of a wide-open window. I also didn’t help that he was in his underwear. Father would certainly scold him for letting himself be seen in his linen undershirt. Some may think he was waiting for some disreputable company. 
It was more hoping than waiting. Also, Janus couldn’t possibly be disreputable. Out of costume, he had no reputation whatsoever. He liked to keep it that way. His real identity had no friend nor foe, in that he found safety. It had been hard to trust each other. Believe a criminal could be good. Let the son of a merchant become a friend, form an opinion of Janus, the original one. A part of him felt so proud, to see him grow, believe him, love him… another part found it sad for people to miss on such a wonderful person. 
Nights like this made him nostalgic. The first floors had tallow candles cast their diffuse glow onto the streets. Cobblestones seemed softened by the warm tint. Darkness rendered malleable to the light. It all made him miss Janus even more. 
The touch of his palm, holding the weight of his lazy head, a poor substitute to Janus’ hand. 
On such a night they had met. How scared he had been! A bit angry too… captivated as well, even if he couldn’t admit it to himself at the time. 
Patton smiled in contemplation. 
He had spotted him right there, sitting out of the adjacent window, ready to jump and make a run for it. 
“Stop! You will get hurt, good sir!” at first he did not realise the true nature of what was happening. 
To think Janus could be harmed by jumping off a window! He knew better now. Balconies were his true weakness. Thankfully, the only balconies he climbed now were his. 
“Oh, I’ll stop at once. Care to join?” Janus said as he pulled a stiletto out of his cape. 
“You are stealing!” 
“I would never!” he feigned indignation.
“Then what is it that you are doing, good sir?”
Oh, Patton could still hear the laugh that had followed, velvety and insincere. It brought a chill up his spine. 
“Stealing, of course”. 
“That is vile!” 
“Is it? You’re all allowed to provide for yourselves by buying fabrics and goods created by others. Am I not doing as you do? Are merchants not thieves? How can you tell a vile man from another? What do you know of this world, dear?” 
“Well… I... I know for certain that the woman in that room, the one you are stealing from, sir, is not wealthy. She may look the part, but that is thanks to heirlooms. Her family has been impoverished for two generations”. 
“Does it make you virtuous to spread the secrets of others? Isn’t gossip frowned upon by those of…” he lifted his gold rosary from under his shirtfront with the tip of his blade “your inclination”. 
“I am merely explaining so you may be persuaded to accept my gold in exchange for returning her possessions”. 
“Why shouldn’t I just take your gold and keep her stuff too?”
“We may be allowed to provide for ourselves in ways others may view as vile, but should we condemn those who cannot on the account of not wanting to express vileness or having no means to? I do not mean to intrude, sir, but the thoughts behind your words betray your stance in this dilemma. You shall find more satisfaction in stealing what you believe was already stolen. A poor woman is not worth your pride, nor ridding you of the chance to make me lose mine”.
Janus frowned as if he didn't expect him to say something like that. Later he would confess to him that what shocked him was hearing him say something smart. It keeps on surprising him whenever he does.
"Quick, hand me your gold and I might consider it". 
"No, sir, I expect you to leave what you have taken first". 
He did try to hide his eagerness. But, how his cape rustled, once inside, betrayed him. What kind of thief was so noisy? He thought to himself. Once they had built trust, Janus explained that he had been quite shaken up by his offering. He neglected to mention the reason why. Patton imagined it was because he found his disposition to put himself in harm’s way for others ridiculous. 
The thief’s half-concealed face emerged from the window. 
"Will three florin do?" Patton asked, pulling his coin bag. 
Janus looked at the rich embroidered fabric almost in awe. If only, for a second. 
“I suppose…” 
“Well, then, there you go, sir”. 
His hands pried the bag open, ready to pull the golden coins. 
“Hmm…” 
“What is the matter?” 
“I could always just go back and get all the stuff”. 
“Is it not enough for you?” he showed him the three pieces of gold in his open palm. 
It was as if he could almost feel him licking his lips. The part of him, dark, often chastised, made him shake and quiver. His knees felt weak, somehow. This hunger in the thief’s eyes, almost akin to wonder, at the sight of gold, as if he had never seen so much before, it made him want to… dear Lord, no!
“To put such a price on mending the error of my ways” he laughed, staring right through him with those green eyes. Patton’s knees threatened to buckle for real.  “It isn’t very much, now, is it?” he leaned forward, and if Patton leaned as well maybe he could… what? Fall from this height for a pretty thief?
“What do you want, then?” 
That had been a first for Janus, Patton was certain. He didn’t quite get his reaction, but, picturing it again some days later he figured the thief was taken aback. 
“Uh… tha-that fancy coin bag of yours will do. Consider me a gentleman, I wouldn’t want to fleece you completely, the first time”. 
“Oh, I’m sure”. 
“Ha”, Janus stared at him in disbelief. 
Patton felt mortified. 
“I-I mean…” 
“Are you always this eloquent or is it just poor skill when it comes to existing?” the sentence did not sound as condescending as it should have, more like borderline flirtatious. 
Words would not come to him. 
“The coin bag, please”. 
His arm moved on his own, careful to avoid touch. It would be a bad idea to give this man a chance to tip him over the ledge. For a moment, he hesitated. This bag had been gifted to him by his father, he had two made for the two of them. It was two of a kind. But… the woman next door’s wellbeing was far more valuable than any piece of fabric. No matter how treasured. 
Janus dangled the bag from his pointer finger, right next to his face. Side-eying his price, he spoke again: 
“Looks like the virtuous are also the most stupid”. 
The thief readied himself to jump. Patton knew he had to say something, because, this moment, it told him he would regret it if he didn’t. 
“It is not about virtue, but goodness”. 
For a moment he thought he had heard him stop breathing. Then, he jumped. Patton jumped in his place as well. He couldn’t help but bring his entire torso out of the window. 
There he was! Running. He had made no noise in his landing. 
Just when he was about to disappear into the shadows, this weird new acquaintance looked at him one last time. 
Back then, Janus vanished for a while. Patton had come to learn that he would always return one way or another. 
Like now. 
A shadow moved, carefully, on the roof tiles at the other side of the street. Patton whistled, trying not to be too loud, not that anyone below would hear him. Knowing it had been spotted, the shadow flew to his side. 
“Hello, big guy”. 
After a rustle of feathers, the hawk landed at his left. 
“Why the grumpy face?” Patton laughed. “I know it’s just your brow feathers.  You’re so handsome” he caressed the top of the bird’s head with one finger. 
“He sent you all the way here. You must be tired. I don’t have any food for you here, but I’m sure I can get you something to drink”. 
Patton poured some water into a basin and carried it to the window, he placed it on the floor. 
“There, it’s supposed to be used to wash your face… I guess you can do that too if you want”.  
The hawk flew inside and drank it all dry. 
“You ought to tell Janus”, he began saying as he bent his knees, “to stop worrying so much. I am okay. I know he is concerned, but it will all be fine. Also, when you get home, ask him when is he going to let me visit, I’d love to go”.
-------------------------
The carriage clattered over the stone pathway. Inside, the curtains were drawn, but a pang of curiosity made it so Patton moved them, ever-so-slightly, aside to take a discrete look. 
Big was an understatement when one tried to describe the Regio manor. It was a three-storey building comprised of a first floor with a rusticated facade that had four small windows on each side, the centre being interrupted by a wide mason staircase presided by a classic structure of pilasters, then followed by an entablature and a pediment with the most ornate of tympanums. He imagined the staircase lead to the primo piano nobile. To both sides of the main entrance were two sets of four architrave windows built in perfect symmetry. Above it all, was the third floor, which mostly mirrored the second, but had a total of ten slightly smaller windows, as there wasn’t another central element to interrupt their flow. 
If this marriage agreement moved forward, one day, this would be technically his. It will be his wife’s, but, as spouses, they are supposed to share it all. Villa Morandi will be hers as well, it was only fair. 
A part of him felt bad for not having had the chance to keep contact with Lady Romina Regio previous to now. How was one supposed to feel when they get no say in who they marry? Father, at least, had asked him. Yes, he risked disappointing him, but, ultimately, the choice was his.  Will this woman, on the account of her status, be allowed such a choice? He feared her parents were the only people who would decide. Father too. Does she even want the father of her fiancé to take this from her? Is it right to deceive themselves like this, to have God bind them when no love is to arise from this union? Is a potential friendship worthy of the sacrament of matrimony? 
Patton knew two things with certainty: he wanted to be a good friend to Lady Romina Regio and he could not sacrifice his feelings for Janus to achieve it. 
They were guided inside by Virginia Fusco, Lady Romina Regio’s personal servant.
The entrance consisted of a corridor, divided into three naves, by two rows of ionic columns made of rose gold marble. Above that, there was a straight ceiling with five rows of twelve coffers, all richly painted with floral and geometric motifs. His boots looked cheap in comparison to the flooring they walked on. Big and polished terracotta tiles in a diamond pattern covered the ground, the corners were clipped to accommodate small white marble accents. 
Once they passed the entrance, this father was led upstairs by another servant, while Virginia instructed him to accompany her elsewhere. 
“I am glad you arrived here safely after leaving Villa Morandi. Has everything been well?”
She stilled for a moment. 
“Uuh… thank you for the kind concern, sir. Things in the house have been… busy due to the news of your engagement to her ladyship” she began walking again. 
“I was asking about you”. 
“Pardon?”
“When I asked, before, I wanted to know if you have been doing well. It must be stressful to be sent back and forth between the palazzo and Villa Morandi during the last weeks, especially being a personal maid to her ladyship, it is uncommon for someone like you to be used as a messenger”. 
“I shall do anything her ladyship requires. Any task”. 
“Oh! Sorry! I did not intend to say you would not”, Patton stopped dead in his tracks. 
Virginia turned around and stared at him in confusion. 
“I… when you first arrived I did not expect her ladyship’s personal servant to be at my home. Her ladyship’s maid is supposed to stay with her, so I thought something bad might have happened… The trip in between is not too long but done enough times it can prove to be energy-consuming”. 
Patton was met with even more confusion from Virginia, so he kept babbling in hopes of fixing his mistake. “Not that you would not be willing to put up with it for her ladyship, I am sure. I did also not mean to assume anything, that is why I asked in the first place, I only meant it kindly…” 
“Sir, it is alright”, she began saying. 
If Patton had not been as worked up with the conversation as he was he may have detected the slightest hint of amusement coming from Virginia. 
“Her ladyship is--”
“Oh! Oh, that too! I did not mean to not inquire about her ladyship’s wellbeing, part of me dared to hope I could meet her today and ask her in person…” 
“Sir, please, follow me. I am afraid we cannot keep the person I am taking you to waiting, you see, her ladyship finds it upsetting”. 
Patton laughed. 
It caught Virginia off guard. People were not supposed to behave so… openly within these walls. At least she wasn’t used to it. 
“You must excuse this man’s oblivious nature, I should have realised where you were taking me earlier”. 
“Sir, I am undeserving of your apologies. But, if we keep stalling, her ladyship will require one”. 
“Of course, lead the way”.
-------------------------
His horse reached the palazzo just in time to see the Morandi’s carriage passing by. 
Unlike his dear Patton, he did not have an invitation. Sneaking past the guards, an easy task if you asked him, had to suffice. 
The place was huge, it was to be expected from such a family. Janus couldn’t care less for the grandeur, not when he couldn’t get his hands on it, and that wasn’t the reason why he had come there. 
It would seem the Regio had it going on. The palazzo was relatively new, built, at most, fifty years ago. If you checked the list, all of the items relating to appearance did justice to the status of the family. Looking closely though… 
There were only two boys and an old man tending to the gardens. Gardens as big as everything else, mind you. So, clearly, they were understaffed. Which was precisely why Janus had been able to hide between a set of unkempt bushes to change into today’s costume. As long as he managed to avoid getting any leaves of brunches stuck, it would all be fine. 
Back to the Regio, though. If one was as much of an expert at judging other people’s wealth as Janus was, save that one time with a woman at an inn, it became obvious that the counts were missing on the money. Firstly, the manor had been built recently, but most certainly not after the war. Secondly, the guards were as many as one would expect, but not as… on guard -curse Patton’s sense of humour- as they should. This just told him they weren’t being paid that much. Then was the matter of understaffing. 
And, of course, Patton’s presence here. 
Janus had not forgotten Signor Morandi’s words. Patton could only afford to marry a countess because the Regio could not afford anyone less wealthy. 
The clothes were on and he was inside the house. 
Why did these people never put any sort of vigilance at the servant’s entrances? It never occurred to them that even if people wouldn’t steal their laundry, perhaps they would get in with the laundry. Pathetic. 
It made his life easier, though. 
He was in. 
He was in and he was going to… what? 
For starters try to find any dirt on Patton’s dear future wife. Maybe any belongings that could give him some leverage. Just to be safe. 
Janus knew Patton would keep his word, even if it destroyed him, and it would. Nobles always wanted offspring. Janus just wasn’t sure if Patton would be up for the task when someone did not have his pretty eyes and his masculine figure. 
Causing troubles for his beloved was the last thing he wanted. But, if it came to it, Janus would do anything. Whether that meant creating accidents, blackmailing or appointing a convenient kidnapping during a wedding night. 
He went up the servant’s stairs and reached a second-floor gallery, open to the courtyard below. 
Just when he was about to leave, his ears caught some hushed shouting coming from above.
-------------------------
“How could she do this to me!?” 
Romina stormed the third-floor corridor, without any bearing nor destination. 
“Your ladyship, please, we must go back!” Virginia ran behind her, speaking between her teeth. 
“Did you see him, Virg?”
“Yes, I did, your ladyship”. 
“I-- this is outrageous!” 
“I beg you, can we not have this conversation here, your ladyship?” 
Despite Virginia kindly pointing out that the third-floor gallery was hardly an appropriate location for such or any kind of discussion, Romina did not heed her request. 
“I was going to become a princess! And because of this, I am deprived of royalty! Because my sister fancies herself a man!” 
“For the love of…, you know what, no. I am tired of this. She dresses like a man, she talks like a man, she looks like a man and she feels like one. In which way is she, no, he, not a man?” 
Romina grimaced at her own words. Still, she was far too angry to let go of her resentment. 
“In the fact that he has no honour. He lied to me, several times. First by promising we’ll stay together. Then he did not care to tell me I had a brother, didn’t even trust me for that, and now he has abandoned me. And what for? He saw that pretty ‘scientist’ or whatever he calls himself and decided to follow him to the end of the world. How come he gets to be a pirate when I have to become a wife?!”
“Romina, please, shut your big mouth before anyone overhears us” Virginia warned. 
“So now I must be quiet!”
“Yes! For your sake, you dumbass”. 
“Well, I will not be quiet, you… you sonnetist of elegies!” 
“That’s not even a--” Virginia placed her hand on the bridge of her nose. 
As if to make her point clearer, Romina kept walking into the gallery. 
“I don’t care! You know why? Because now I have to replace him in a destiny none of us wanted, but at least he had been prepared for! What am I going to do?” 
“How about you begin by coming back--” 
“He leaves me like this, to be mocked and compared to him,--” 
“Oh Lord, why do I even bother--”
“--who ran away. How could he be so selfish!? Let me ask you this instead, how can a man surrender his word and his honour so readily?”
Then, Virginia stilled completely. 
She didn’t know whether she felt angry or deeply saddened.
“What wouldn’t any of us do to seize the freedom that we have forever been denied? And, who wouldn’t cast away honour to be free and loved? Can’t you identify with that, or are you a liar too?”
“I…”
“Is it Remus who you’re angry at?” 
“It doesn’t matter what I think. I am still going to have to get married to some random person--!”
“Oh, shut up! At least he’s nice! Do you know what he did when he met me? Because he came to personally receive me, you see. He asked for my name! Not only that, but he remembers it. Just when I was taking him to see you, he asked me how had I been! Have you any idea how many people do that? You are so privileged you cannot get your head out of your stuck-up ass, Princess. Nobody ever cares how people like me are doing!” 
“Oh, so that is what this is about! Well, sorry I can’t pepper you with attention every waking moment, love--” 
“Fuck off, I already know that, stop making this about you!” 
“But it is about me!”
“You’re so lucky you get to marry a kind man! Any other person would just use his status to be a self-righteous narcissistic asshole, yes, Princess, like you, but not young Signor Morandi so quit mopping!” 
“Well, if you like him so much, then why don’t you marry him instead?!” 
Her hands gripped her apron tightly. Virginia could not bear her gaze at the moment. She bit her lip as if that could help her to cope with the backlash at the sheer stupidity of Romina’s words. 
“I am sorry”. 
“You… at least you’re… hmm…” she took a deep breath. In part to give herself time to consider what to say carefully, but, also, to calm down. “Male-inclined. I… your ladyship, if I did not serve you I fear I would only be any good left in a nunnery. You must understand, if I could choose who to marry, well, kind and considerate is not much of my type, as you must be aware. Neither is Signor Morandi”. 
“If…” 
Romina returned to her side. 
Her hands, littered with all sorts of rings, made Virginia’s hands give up on holding the apron. The labour-stained pair were squeezed safely. 
“Please, please look at me”. 
The request made Virginia want to refuse. But, aside from her position, these were the kind of situations in which Virginia could not deny Romina. 
“If I could choose who to marry, it would be one who would make me a princess, not on the account of status, but with word… if you know what I mean”. 
Virginia rolled her eyes. 
“The only one that dense here is you”. 
“The mouth on you. I am going to have to keep you by my side”, she paused for a second and then whispered, “my love”. 
Her gaze was most intense upon hearing that. The pair of dark brown eyes opening in a way that could be described as feline. 
“No nunnery could be at your level when it comes to sarcasm and bossing other women around. I, at the very least, can hold my ground for longer until you get me to do your bid--”
Finally, Romina was quiet. 
Virginia gripped her shoulders, squeezing the puffs of her dress’ sleeves, with the tips of her fingers touching against the golden netting that covered Romina’s chest. It was as if she was trying to drink the life out of those lips. Her very being was buzzing with want and anger. 
The bejewelled woman became pliant, yet passionate, under the touch. Bravery, whenever it surfaced in Virginia, was something to behold. Even more of a thing to experience. 
“Fuck” Virginia covered her mouth with her hands as she abruptly parted. 
“Likewise. Oh, I feel dizzy” she smiled. 
“No, not that way. I… shit… I just did...that! And here!”
“Now, now”, Romina grasped her hands. 
She caressed the base of Virginia’s thumbs with a devoted look. 
“Ro…”
“No reason to panic, my nightly gale”. 
“Well, I wouldn’t be so sure about that” a voice came from the other side of the gallery.
-------------------------
The room was quiet. 
No. 
The room was completely silent and Patton had no idea what had gone wrong. He never intended to say something that could harm anyone’s sensitivities. It just never occurred to him that someone could be offended by a pun about the weather. 
This first attempt at friendship had not been… great. 
His father would certainly laugh at Lady Romina Regio’s decision to storm out of the room upon hearing a silly joke. He would make nothing of it. He’d say womanly outbursts were to be expected. Darn it, most people would say so.
Ignoring it would be simple. 
Patton could not ignore it. 
Firstly, it became clear to him that her ladyship had no say in her marrying him. Not only that, but she might feel strongly against it. Secondly, and most important, he intended to build a friendship with her. 
Considering the circumstances, the best he could do would be to find her and speak from the heart. If he explained to her that he meant no ill by making a joke, or to be insensitive by indulging in frivolities in the face of such a serious matter as their first meeting, she might feel better. And, if she still refused him, he could offer to call the entire thing off. 
Except that would be a terrible idea. Her family needed the money and going back on his choice would make her chances even more difficult. But, maybe, she wanted that. Her reaction pointed to it. Father would be very disappointed, the last thing Patton wanted was to be a bad son. But wasn’t it worse to force a woman into a marriage? Also, Janus. He’d be free to remain with him for longer. 
What was he going to do? He didn’t know what the right answer to this was.  
Talking to her. Patton could start by doing that, but first, he needed to find her.
-------------------------
This wasn’t the kind of dirt he had expected to find, but only a moron would look a gift horse in the mouth right now.
The servant girl’s passion came out of nowhere. He almost wanted to take notes. 
“No reason to panic, my nightly gale”, said the countess, still entranced at the sight of her maid’s hands. 
She had just given him his cue, so Janus could not help but oblige. 
“Well, I wouldn’t be so sure about that”, he said leaving his hiding spot. 
Instantly, they turned to look at him. The countess let go of the other’s hands in a jolt. Her demeanour changed in a second. So, not only was she a countess, but also a terrific actress. 
“Oh! Good day sir! Are you, by any chance, lost? My servant can…” she looked at the aforementioned. 
Her maid was having none of it. She eyed him suspiciously, ignoring how her mistress’ body language asked her to calm down. 
“Were you coming to see his lordship? I am afraid he is busy at the moment”. 
“Oh, well yes. I was sent by Marquess Sanders to inquire about a series of matters relating to war expenses” he said as he took off his cape. 
By revealing his outfit he hoped to gain some credibility. Looking rich always got people off your back. Especially when you carried a sword. 
The countess’ eyes lit up in recognition of his dusack. Dusacks were one of the main weapons sent by Marquess Sanders during the war, this one so happened to also have the family crest attached to the scabbard. 
Normally, he would have covered it to avoid getting Thomas into trouble. 
“Well, in that case--” Romina began to say. 
“Excuse me, sir, but I am sure her ladyship would first like to see the letters that his lordship always has his people carry”. 
“Is your maid often allowed to talk over you, your ladyship?” 
“I...uh…” Romina looked at her maid for help. 
“Well, that is to be expected, as she is allowed to do much more than that, is she not?” 
The maid squinted at him. 
“Oh, that thing? It was a… a token of friendship!” the countess proudly proclaimed. 
While she may be a fantastic actress, she surely was a terrible liar. The maid scoffed in the way Janus could not, whether it was due to hearing her lover say something that ridiculous or because of the awful lie he could not tell. 
“If that is how I treated all my friends I am certain my lovers would be confused”. 
Both women caught their breaths. 
“I would, of course, not be so indiscreet as to say anything, for a price, that is”. 
“What is it that you want?” 
“I’ve heard you are soon to be married--” 
The maid looked at him even more intensely, and then…
“Your ladyship, this man is deceiving you”. 
“Yeah, I can tell, we were just discussing--”
“You dense ass, not now, all the time! His money bag over there, it’s Signor Morandi’s!” 
Oh, fuck. 
Well, it couldn’t be helped. 
Janus unsheathed his sword and pointed it to the maid’s neck. 
“I suggest we keep this matter quiet, or else I’ll have to keep it quiet forever”.
-------------------------
Patton’s efforts to find Lady Romina Regio or her servant, Virginia, had not been successful so far. He had explored the main areas of the house, now finding himself at the first-floor courtyard. 
The smells coming from the kitchen, where the staff worked in their earnest to prepare tonight’s dinner, danced in the air. Patton sat at a stone bench, wondering what else he could do. His only chance would be waiting until both families dined together. He’d wish to apologise to her ladyship before that, so they could indulge in the dishes without any looming over. 
Then, the faint sound of a voice coming from above called his attention. 
It was barely hearable due to the clankings of nearby cooking. But there was no way he wouldn’t recognise it. 
“I would... be so indiscreet … price...” Patton could make out. 
Indeed, it was Janus’ voice. If that and the words ‘indiscreet’ and ‘price’ were anything to go by, he was blackmailing someone. 
Her ladyship was nowhere to be found and Janus was being Janus nearby. It didn’t take too much to put two and two together. 
Patton moved around the courtyard while staring upwards. 
There they were! He only had to find a way to…
Oh no. 
Janus was pointing his sword to Virginia’s neck. 
Before Patton could realise what he was doing, his feet were already running upstairs.
-------------------------
This would have been a great time for both of them to bail, hadn’t a sword been pointed at her. But, that's life. Some days you wake up next to your lover in her chambers with a deep feeling of dread over, well, everything; other days you are about to get basically beheaded, what can you do. 
For starters, Virginia was going to fight, because she didn’t feel particularly inspired to think at the moment. 
“Please, do not hurt her, I beg you”, Romina said. 
Wonderful. Virginia was either about to get hurt or be very lucky on her own accord. 
She quickly leaned back and ducked, taking advantage of the man’s attention being redirected at Romina’s plea. 
Definitely, she was getting hurt, not lucky, as the sword fell down on her with a swift swoop. 
That was it. 
Then, Romina pulled another sword from the pocket opening of her dress, crossing blades with the thief, but, most importantly, saving her life. She was going to be really cocky about it, if they made it out in one piece. 
“Well, this was a lovely surprise”, the thief said as Romina and he circled each other, edges sliding in a sharp sound, “but if you don’t give it up, you’ll end up maimed and, after that, let’s say… your maid may take a nudge downstairs”. 
Romina slid the sword away and twirled it back to strike. The thief had enough reflexes to put his dusack across his face before it got cut in half. 
A strong clank echoed all over the gallery and the courtyard below. 
“You foul fiend! You may be brave enough to threaten me, but your overconfidence in thinking you can get away--” she struck again, “with endangering her--” Romina turned them, making it so Virginia was behind her, as if to underline her words, “shall be your downfall”. 
“Thank you for enlightening me, your highness” the thief began to say. 
He overpowered Romina by twisting their swords. She collided against Virginia’s chest after the villain shoved her away. 
“This has, clearly, proved how friendly you are. By all means, tell me, are you also willing to die for all of your friends?” 
His next move was more successful now that he had gained more range of attack. The thief plunged forward in a piercing motion. Romina stopped it with a backhanded sweep, then turned on herself, making it so his blade pointed to the ground. 
“I would die for her, any day”. 
Virginia did not have the right to feel as flustered as she did, not when they were in mortal danger. Somehow, Romina’s best romantic lines happened whenever she did not speak them directly to her. Seeing her look that fierce when fighting may also factor into it. Why did Princess always have to be so intense?
“Is this a confession? Scandalous!” 
“It is a promise”. 
There was a delicate balance between each other for a moment. Their eyes locked in a stare. 
It was so strange, Virginia thought. This man keeps on threatening them, but he hesitates. What was holding him back? Also, why steal a coin bag when you plan on blackmailing someone? Yes, it had to be planned, otherwise, the marquess lie made no sense, too much preparation involved for that to be a coincidence. Could he actually be sent by the marquess? But, why? The Regio and the marquess had had a wonderful relationship over the years. 
Something didn’t fit. 
The thief moved ever so slightly. Romina, clearly, wasn’t taking any chances.
In a display of quick reflexes, she side-kicked him on the chest, making him stumble backwards. 
While the thief struggled to regain his footing, Romina sliced through the cord keeping Signor Morandi’s coin bag attached to his waist. She smiled playfully. 
“For someone so smug, you are surely a clumsy opponent”. 
“I’ll give you clumsy” he replied stepping forward and thrusting with the sword. 
Romina blocked his attack effortlessly, but, soon, Virginia realised that wasn’t the thief’s intention. His right foot was just in front of the bag, ready to move it towards him like a hook. 
“Ro, the bag!” Virginia warned. 
She looked down and smirked. 
“This the price of greed”, Romina mocked as her sword turned to strike the thief’s right leg. 
The dusack crossed blades, again, with Romina’s before it could do any damage. 
“Your willingness to lose a leg over some gold only proves the worth of your lot”.  
He leaned closer to Romina, looking at her in the eye as he twisted their swords to get the upper hand. 
“You know nothing about me or what I stand for”, he said in a deep and menacing voice. 
Romina laughed in between her teeth. 
“I may not, but I know one thing”. 
“Oh, and what is that?”
“You just got distracted”. 
Romina’s foot slipped past the thief’s, kicking the coin bag away from him. He ran to his left while blocking Romina’s attacks at his right. 
What was so special about a coin bag anyway?
-------------------------
Patton began to hear sword fighting noises just before he reached the entrance to the stairs. 
What was Janus thinking? Engaging in a face-off with Lady Romina Regio, who not only was a countess with an apparent disdain for weather puns but also a remarkable swordswoman, had to be one of his worst ideas to date. 
While he had faith in Janus’ skills, he also knew that her ladyship’s fencing instructor had been fired, as a lesson, after she stabbed a man on the shoulder during a ‘casual’ duel.
-------------------------
The coin bag was kicked and pushed from one place to another by the thief and Romina while they dodged attacks.
“Is it the gold you are fighting for or is it your pride, villain?” she said, smirk reflecting on her blade. 
“Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to project your desires onto others? So honourable protecting her frail maiden!”, he pushed forward. “Still… it would almost seem, not because of the self-indulging banter, that you only duel to flatter yourself”.
“The one who is so set in getting a stolen coin bag dares to lecture me on selfishness!” 
Romina used her weight to stop him from making her retrocede any further. Her grin widened, satisfied in this victory. 
“Takes one egoist to know one”.
Right then, the thief made a sudden move. 
“Romina!” Virginia exclaimed. 
“I’m fine!” she said, wiping the bleeding cut on her jaw. 
The thief looked at the prized coin bag that he now held in his hand. 
“Loved beating you, but I think I will take my lea--” 
He was interrupted by Romina’s scream. Her sword wooshed several times in front of his face, barely leaving him time to bend backwards to avoid it. The dusack clancked against the floor. 
“Shit” the thief cursed. 
Things looked dire for the thief. With his sword out of reach, there was little he could do. Romina’s sword flashed by one more time, slashing through his left upper arm. Despite the painful burn of the cut, his left hand did not let go of the coin bag. Nevertheless, he fell on his knee, clutching the wound with his free hand. 
“I will make you an offering, villain”, Romina pointed at him with the sword, gloating over his tilted gaze. “Return Signor Morandi’s coin bag to me, and I shall let you go”. 
“Your ladyship, kindly get stabbed in the chest”. 
She turned his back on him, twirling her sword while at it. 
“As you wish”. 
Time froze before Romina could even think about delivering the killing blow. 
Virginia saw the thief reach for his boot, pulling out a stiletto. He stood up and positioned his knife pointing upwards. Because of this, Virginia panicked, already imagining the tip breaking through Romina’s lower back and into her chest. 
Immediately, she ran in front of the thief, head empty of thoughts, only consuming fear. At the same time, the thief began a descending motion, making Virginia realise where he aimed for. 
‘He’s going for her leg!’, Virginia thought. 
This would not help. When they crossed, the thief’s knife was at the height of Virginia’s gut. 
Virginia looked at him in terror. 
The thief looked at Virginia in panic. 
The fabrics of Romina’s dress could be heard twisting in the air, as she turned around, only to see the back of Virginia’s head. 
“No!” Romina cried. 
In yet another display of quick reflexes, the thief let go of the stiletto, just before it could do any damage. 
Romina only heard the blade fall as she shoved Virginia aside. 
She punched him on the left cheek, leaving the outline of her rings imprinted on his skin, red and slowly swelling. 
The thief’s boots staggered backwards. 
He fell face up in the middle of the gallery corridor. 
Faster than ever, Romina’s sword moved and settled its tip at the base of the thief’s neck, sort of mirroring how he had threatened Virginia. 
Virginia brazed herself against the wall. Her breathing heaved like the bellows trying to get the fire back up. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw young Signor Morandi emerging from the path that connected to one of the third-floor staircases. 
“Please, do not hurt him, I beg you”, he said while catching his breath. 
Romina looked upwards to stare at him. 
“What is the meaning of this?! Do you know this man? Did you send him?!”
Sometimes, Romina could outmatch Virginia when it came to reaching conclusions. This just so happened to be the worst possible moment. 
“I--” 
Only Virginia saw how the eyes of the thief went wide at hearing young Signor Morandi’s voice, his frown when Romina accused him. 
“Look at me!” the thief shouted. 
“Trying to protect your master, villain?” 
“That is not quite… this is a complete misunderstanding, if we talked--” young Signor Morandi began to say. 
“Shut up!” both Romina and the thief replied in unison. 
“Stop talking nonsense, your highness”. 
“Oh, so it is nonsense! He seems to know you, how do you explain that?” 
Virginia squinted at them, getting the sense that she was missing something more than ever. 
“Janus, please, let me tell them the--” 
“We now have a name for our thief!” she announced triumphantly. “So you do know each other! Let me tell you, Jolliest Caesar, he has betrayed you. Whatever you paid him seemed to be less than enough, so he stole your father’s coin bag”. 
Young Signor Morandi’s eyes went straight to said item, lighting up in recognition and some other emotion much harder to identify. 
“Is this the outcome you desired? I thought you were silly, I was... persuaded to believe you were kind. But, this? Do you owe your father so much disrespect?” 
He grimaced in response, looking away. Meanwhile, Janus pursed his lips in a thin line. 
‘Why does it matter to him?’, Virginia wondered. 
“Signor Morandi is an upright man, someone who carries himself proud and virtuous. I will not insult him by denouncing you to my family, but I hope you learn to have--” 
“Oh, poor and noble Signor Morandi! Rid of a coin bag, whatever will he do?!” Janus shouted.  
The gazes of all people present turned to him.
“It’s not as if he could buy another. Are we to pity him?! He is so good! You defend what you think to be the property of a man who would gladly pull any pair of lovers apart. Gift his son to a stack of classist swine in exchange for a title! What an estimate of his worth!”
One could almost marvel at him having the nerve to spit his anger even under the point of a blade. Romina frowned, taken aback.  
“But he’s so upright! Admit it, you couldn’t care any less about this ridiculous coin bag, you just want to use it as an excuse to keep your affair with your servant hidden. Am I the one you wish to kill or does it make you feel less powerless to pretend you’re stabbing another man? None of us gets a choice”.
Young Signor Morandi held his breath. 
Virginia let hers out. That was it! Of course! How could she not have realized earlier?
“Spilling my blood won’t change that! I may not be good, but I can at least see through the lies, and you aren’t good either. You’re as selfish as I am and you won’t get to keep her, we never do”. 
“What?” Romina answered. 
She looked at Virginia, then at young Signor Morandi, then back at him. 
“Are you seriously doing this? I could make these your last words! What is wrong with you! This is madness. I am about to die” she began to mock him, “let me make this moment into a speech about society and another man’s stolen money. Who does that? I know I am dramatic, but, at the very least--!” 
“Princess, shut up!” Virginia shouted. 
“Excuse me, I was only trying to give some fair critic--”
“Not the time. Also, you are completely missing the point! 
“What do you mean?”
“Do you know how we always talk after dinner?” 
“That is not what we do after…”
“Yes”. 
“So what is your point? Oooooh!” 
“Now you get it…” she closed her eyes. 
“They also talk…” Romina smiled.
“Hmm”. 
“And he is actually…!” she pointed back and forth between the two with her sword. “They are…!”
“We are, and if you would” Janus flattened himself against the floor. 
“Your ladyship, please, my Janus has had enough of sharp objects for…” young Signor Morandi looked at him. 
“For forever, put the sword away”. 
Romina did as requested and promptly offered a hand to help Janus get on his feet. 
“You are one menace of a woman”. 
“Thank you”. 
“What is going on?!” 
A large set of rushed footsteps accompanied the question. The four turned around to see his lordship, Count Regio, his wife, Signor Morandi and a myriad of servants. 
“Oh, father, mother!” Romina exclaimed. “Signor Morandi”, she greeted more formally. 
“Romina, what is the meaning of this?” said Count Regio. 
“Your lordship, your ladyship”, Janus spoke after a bow. “I was sent by Marquess Sanders”. 
Romina turned to look at him. His attire was mostly back in place, a part of her couldn’t help but be impressed. After spotting the family crest on Janus’ dusack, the counts’ expression changed from confusion to shame. 
“Romina, did you duel this man? Apologise this instant!” Count Regio looked livid as he spoke. “We already had to be rid of her fencing teacher, do not worry, Signor Morandi, we will also dispose of her swords”, Countess Regio reassured. 
In the scandal, Virginia was the only one to notice the coin bag forgotten on the floor. She stepped to the side, knowing no one would pay attention to her, as per usual, especially with such chaos. The coin bag disappeared under Virginia’s skirts, dragged by her foot. Young Signor Morandi walked past her and nodded in a silent gesture of gratitude. Perhaps one person did notice. 
“Your ladyship, that will not be necessary, I come as a new fencing teacher, an early engagement present of Marquess Sanders”. 
“But how did he know…” Virginia muttered. 
Janus did hear her and went on: 
“He was very impressed by the letters sent by your daughter. Marquess Sanders believes that someone with such impeccable diplomacy, and a disposition to secure the future relationship of her family, should not be deprived of outstandingness. To preserve such remarkable, dare I say, rare, qualities on a lady, he sent me. Marquess Sanders hopes my instruction can further her skills and aid her to grow more accomplished than ever before”. 
“Oh, that is fantastic to hear!” Count Regio said, looking a lot more uncomfortable than her tone would suggest. “But, Lady Romina, as you already are aware of, is engaged now. We ought to hear young Signor Morandi’s opinion on the matter”.
-------------------------
All eyes turned to Patton. 
“Actually…” 
For a moment, he doubted himself. 
Lying, as he had always been told, was sinful. But so was ignoring the struggle of the weak, breaking your word and not honouring one’s spouse. 
Most importantly, Patton had to honour his heart. 
If lying was the price to pay… well, so be it. 
“I asked her for a demonstration. I have always harboured a burning admiration for her dexterity with the sword. Her ladyship is truly heroic and radiant when duelling”. 
Romina turned to look at him.
It would seem he had managed to become friends with her after all.  
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The moonlight shone in its quiet dance with the nightly air. This was, once again, a clear summer evening, but it marked the end of an insane day. The sounds of dining and chatting had died out. Everyone, gradually, left for their rooms. Janus, crossing the gardens, intended to do the same. 
Climbing with a wounded arm made his ascend harder than usual. Luckily, the ostentatious facade of the palazzo gave him countless points to anchor himself to. Slowly but surely, he got to Patton’s open window. 
 As what felt like always, Patton held him by the lapels of his cape and pulled him inside. 
Rather than saying hello, Patton kissed him. It was gentle, devoid of the despair that had marked all their meetings during the last weeks. Patton pulled apart just as softly. 
“Here”. 
Janus stared at the coin bag in his hand and smirked. 
“Dear, if you keep on offering me your money you’ll turn into the worst noble ever, and I, the worst thief”, he said with no real smugness. 
Patton laughed. 
“Virginia retrieved it when nobody looked”. 
“I’ll remember to thank her”. 
“Please, be nice this time”. 
“You saw that?” 
“Yes. Janus, pointing at someone with… that thing… don’t do it again”. 
Janus shrugged and leaned in to kiss him again. A pair of hands pulled on his cape, that fell on the floor, forgotten. 
“I don’t think” Janus half-laughed, “I could get away with it again”. 
His bandages were fresh. The bleeding had stopped, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Patton stared at it and furrowed his eyebrows. 
“I could have lost you today”. 
“You saved me again”. 
“Well, that isn’t entirely true”. 
“Oh, why would that be?” 
“You managed to stand your ground until I could save you”. 
“Call it good timing”. 
Patton smiled. 
“What’s so funny?” Janus smiled as well. 
“I’m happy. We… we are going to be together after this. I even gained two friends”. 
“You keep meeting the strangest people, dear”. 
“I’ll have to make sure that you kids don’t get hurt”. 
“We’ll try to be in our best behaviour”. 
Patton got closer and whispered:
“Liar”. 
Janus swallowed and stared at him, suddenly feeling defeated, yet happy about it. He loosened his belt, letting it fall to the floor with his dusack. 
It made an awful lot of noise. Patton looked down, almost in disbelief at Janus’ newfound capacity to make a sound. 
“Hmm. Where did you really get that sword? Romina could get in serious trouble if…”
“Don’t worry, Thomas won’t mind covering for me”. 
“Thomas? You know the marquess?” 
“Let us sit on the bed, I think that you deserve to know this secret”. 
Both of them got comfortable on the ridiculous wall of pillows placed against the headboard of the canopy bed. 
“I used to work for the Sanders family. Ever since I was a boy, I tended to the horses, which is how Thomas and I became friends in the first place. As we grew, he decided to make me his personal servant, and, aside from learning to lie as easy as speaking, I also learned I hate rich people. Thomas is okay though. I think you and Thomas are the only rich people I tolerate”. 
“Well, that’s rich”. 
“Patton! I’m telling you my tragic story!” he said, not at all bothered. “Anyhow, I decided that wasn’t for me, so I told Thomas. He was sad, but he respected it. Before I left, he gave me his own sword, I guess as a safe-conduct of sorts, maybe to remind me I could always come back”. 
“That is… a lot”. 
“I know. He’s a good friend. Believe it or not, I’ve never used it until today. I… couldn’t let you get caught in any of my… shall we say, activities, so I figured…” 
Patton grabbed him, mindful of his wounds, and pulled him close. 
“You need to let other people in, Janus. I know I’m kind of silly, but I can still help. I wish you could see that when you let people know you they want to be on your side. You are someone worth knowing”. 
“And you are more of a bastard than people give you credit for”. 
His laughter made them shake a little. Janus stared at Patton’s joyful expression feeling satisfied. 
“I guess I am”. 
“Pity you don’t want to do anything wicked with it”. 
“I’ll leave that to you, just, tell me beforehand”. 
“How else would I be saved last minute, dear?” 
They stared at each other for a while. It hadn’t fully hit Janus until now that this, this thing right now, would be his life from now on. Thinking that, perhaps the world wasn’t as cruel as he had always made it to be. 
“You are so good”. 
Patton kissed him again. 
“Only when nobody’s looking”. 
“Jan, name’s Patton, not nobody”. 
“You think you’re so funny”. 
“Am I not, when I make you smile like this?”
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Taglist: @joylessnightsky , (the following interacted with my tagging request post, so I assumed you wanted to be tagged, if not, please tell me) @jerasings , @daemoade , @grandhairdofarmgoop . 
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