#my internet is back but i still feel yucky but i probably have to go back to work tomorrow oTL

[wigglesdtuff]

You call that a flower?

#one piece #nico robin #daily wtt robin 2 #day 21 #baron omatsuri #ok but i can put her in any outfit post ts if i want no one can stop me #my internet is back but i still feel yucky but i probably have to go back to work tomorrow oTL

[smallhomemaker]

A Homemakers Intro

My name is Jess and I live in a filthy home. For now. 

I am a newbie homemaker, and thought that having a blog of some sort to share my experience and hopefully inspire others who live like me to do better. 

And keep me on the right track, of course.

I am a mother of a 10 month old son, and am 5 months pregnant. Before I had my child, I lived in a filthy home. I admit that I am lazy, I absolutely hate cleaning, especially the dishes. I mean all that yucky left over food and mushiness? 

No thank you!

However, guilt and embarrassment is forcing me to do something about it. 

My baby daddy works a long and physical job. He comes home exhausted and in pain and I feel so guilty because he comes home to a dirty and stinky home with no food made for him. On his days off, I feel even worse when he's the one cleaning. Sometimes we even order out because our kitchen is so dirty that we can't do anything inside it.

It's gotten so bad that he has said that I have stopped caring. And I didn't want to admit it to myself but I had. With postpartum depression and little to no contact with other people (I am very antisocial and it is no fault but my own) it has taken a toll. I've stopped taking care of myself. 

As in I would not shower for a week or two, stopped putting on makeup so my self esteem shot way down. 

I was and probably still am in a very bad place of mind.

I hated when people came over because my home stunk of spoiled food and dogs. I hated that people saw how I and my family lived. 

So with these feelings, I started searching for help on the internet. I found out about homemaking, and cleaning routines, and bullet journals on how to track life. All of these are helping me to be and do better. 

The things I found that kept me from improving myself and my surroundings are laziness, lack of self discipline, and worst of all, my phone. 

I am ashamed to be addicted to my phone. I use it 24/7. I am always reading, using social media and playing games. I am so addicted to it that I subconsciously bring it with me everywhere. Need to go to the bathroom? I bring it with me. Want to take a bath? I use it there too. I am never without it.

It's bad. 

But I've found ways to avoid or help these things. 

Why am I so lazy? I lack energy. I am too tired to do anything. It's not because of a lack of sleep. I get a full 8+ hours of sleep everyday, what with napping with my son and all. So how can I increase my energy? 

I've taken to coffee. Now, I know most if not all people are like, duh! And I felt that way too. 

I used to hate coffee. I hated the taste, it always made me go to the bathroom. And I would only drink starbucks but that is mostly sugar and little coffee. So I avoided coffee like it was a plaque. It was just a no for me. But if I really wanted to make a change, then I was going to have to change that. 

So I tried it out. I made a pot of coffee and figured out how much milk and sugar I needed for it to appeal to me, and the energy it gave me made a huge difference that I was shocked. 

I didn't want to sit around and read all day. I wanted to move. 

So that is what I did. I got up and picked up trash. I did a load of dishes. I vacuumed my carpet. And then I was like what the heck is this magicness??? 

But after a day of doing that, I would go back to my old routine of doing absolutely nothing because I had felt so accomplished for doing that, that I felt like I deserved a day off. 

If you are face palming, good because I am too. This was how my thinking worked, I don't do anything so doing this one day is great. And while that is true, I took advantage of it. 

I shouldn't have, because that gave me an excuse to do nothing once more when I'm trying to break out of that habit.

So I took to podcasts and pinterest to help motivate me. But after hearing a certain podcast by a woman, I learned that motivation isn't something I want to lean on. 

Because all Motivation is, is being in the right mood to do something. And what if I'm not in the mood to clean when I need to?

I won't do it. 

Self discipline however, is doing what you need to do even when you don't want to. 

But I won't discard motivation completely. I'll use it to my advantage. 

What motivates me to do these things? At first I would say watching other people clean. And seeing how nice their homes are. Because I want my home to be clean too. 

I would say finding things on pinterest about homemaking and cleaning. But those are all external forces and will only get me so far. 

I need some internal forces to motivate me. To give me purpose.

So I look towards my baby daddy. I think about how hard he works, how tired he is when he gets home. And I think wouldn't it be nice for him to come home and not worry about the state of it? Wouldn't it be nice for him to not have to worry about cleaning? 

And then I look at my baby boy. Wouldn't it be nice for him to crawl around the floor because it's actually been vacuumed and washed? Wouldn't it be nice for him to sit in his walker because the cloth is washed and not dirty anymore?

And most importantly I think of myself. Wouldn't it be nice to try? To boost my confidence once more by taking an hour to wake up early to put makeup on? To take care of my hygiene and dress up a little? Wouldn't it be nice to take the strain off of my boyfriend's shoulders? Wouldn't it be great to have less tension in our relationship because he would think that I do care?

So even when I don't feel motivated to do what I'm supposed to, I look and think of my internal muses, and I force myself to do it. 

Simply because I need to, and I need to for them and for myself.

However, doing all this feels like work. And everyone hates work. It doesn't make me want to do it. So, I would feel miserable while doing it and I don't want to feel like that. So I use bullet journaling, and dressing up, and music to help make it more fun. 

With bullet journaling, I can organise and create routines. I can track my progress and either reward myself or give myself consequences. So I created a cleaning routine for Daily chores, weekly chores, and monthly chores. 

For example, daily I need to: Load and unload the dishwasher, take out the trash and vacuum my floor. 

Dressing up will make me feel better about myself. And when I feel good about myself, I'll want to do more to make me feel like this. And having a clean home will make me feel like I have a purpose of keeping it clean. And not just do nothing with my life. 

And who doesn't love music? You can sing along as you clean, and even dance. 

When I first started, I felt overwhelmed because it seemed like a lot. How am I supposed to care for myself, my family, my pets, keep my house clean, cook, and have time for myself without feeling exhausted?? I was so overwhelmed that I kept giving up.

Seeing all these moms not only caring for their home but working full time jobs, all I kept thinking is HOW? How are they doing this?? 

One is coffee. Duh. You need energy to do it all. Two, is to not overextend yourself and do everything too fast. Then you'll burn out and have to start over because you gave up. Three, is one day at a time. Take it slow. Create projects and go through them one by one until it's all done. 

Yes it is all overwhelming, but if you take it slow with one thing at a time, you'll see the results you're aiming for, and will feel great about it! 

#homemaker #cleaning #sahmlife #bullet journal #home maker #self care

[cursed-narancia]

made in collaboration with @loover-arts​ 

This is my eggman tierlist based on their attractiveness and the reason they got the ranking they got. feel free to suggest new eggs in the tags :)

F TIER:

Mama Robotnik- she is in F because I do not like her

E Tier:

06 Eggman - I’m not a Sonic 06 hater, I actually like Sonic 06 more than most people. but this egg... this egg is scary but not in a good way. he is just ugly because they gave him 4 tits and human eyes :(

ASOTH Eggman- This is a good egg, but he is not a sexy egg, I know I’ll get some flack for this, but there was just a lot of competition. The eggmarket is tough. he is not on E tier because he has a nice tushy.

D Tier:

Sonic the Eggman- This Egg is moderate. he is a furrier egg. but I do not like hair in my eggs. yucky. He reminds me of that hairy egg from the Mandalorian. He’s cute I guess, but not a true egg. not what I want in an eggman.

Mr Tinker - He is an eggnigma. He may have gotten a higher spot on the list if only his fit wasnt so wack. Those are just not his colors. He is a nice guy though. 

Anti Eggman - Twink. He is just too small to be an eggman. thats my only criticism.

Steve Eggman - He’s just Gru’s brother but less attractive.

C Tier:

Satam Eggman- His deep seductive voice sounds almost robotic, it’s cold and echoes, but it still maintained the warmth of a man. He was aloof and cruel, heartless even. He dresses to kill, and his large frame could crush a hedgehog in seconds. He’s a large man, but a strong one. Its unclear from where I’m standing, but I think he may have some robotic augments. Perhaps the reason for his harsh demeanor is because he lost his true heart long ago. The only reason he lost is because he’s dummy thicc and the clap of his ass cheeks keeps alerting Sonic.

B Tier:

Gerald Robotnik- Now, I know he isn’t eggman, but he’s got all the characteristics of an eggman. But god, where do I begin? He’s deeply unhinged and ruthless, an alpha-male who reeks of potent intoxicating pheromones. He’s got a dark aura that I just can’t resist. He literally wanted to nuke the Earth just because his niece. Now, some would call that a red flag, but I call that mysterious and misunderstood. He could step on me, and I’d say thank you.

Classic Egg- This egg is less sexy, but more cute. I want him to hug me, and praise me, and make me feel like everything is going to be okay. He’s warm and soft, and smart, and he has the cutest smile.  uwu

A TIER: 

Before we continue, there is some things we should disclose. This tier was highly contested in our test group. There was fighting, blood was spilled. So... the verdict of which of these eggs should be S tier couldn’t be determined. These Eggs are wild. and we have some strong feelings. 

Jim Carrey Eggman- This one is a no brainer. Jim Carrey is one sexy egg, he’s a complete and utter maniac that exudes sex. The second he was revealed, the internet went wild. What makes him A Tier is that he looks the most conventionally human. He’s a very handsome human, but he’s kind of not a real eggman, so sadly, that prevents him from achieving S tier.

Modern Egg- This is the eggman we are all most familiar with, some would say he is the defacto eggman. And I’d say that spot is well deserved. He’s pretty hot, sure, and he’s pretty smart, but what makes A material? Well, he’s just the perfect Eggman. And he has a very awesome theme song. His mustache is very impressive, and he’s got some fiiiiiiiine legs. I love his two sets of eyewear and don’t think they’re silly. 

Boom Egg- Everything I liked about Modern Egg except now he’s buff. 

Nega Egg- He’s the most tragic of all the eggmen. His backstory brought me to tears, he came from a long line of brilliant scientists, but our Eggman(god bless his heart) has failed so so many times that it tarnished his family’s name for generations. Nega Egg was forced to live in shame, and this shame fueled his hatred towards his egg lineage. It drove him to go to another dimension for a fresh start. His mustache is probably smooth as silk, it simmers in the moonlight like undriven snow. He sports a familiar outfit with a devilish twist. He’s a slick man from the future, if you don’t get the appeal, i’m sorry, I can’t help you.

S TIER:

Now... what we’ve all been waiting for, the eggman to rule them all. congratulations

LORD BOXMAN!- hands down, the sexiest eggman of them all, but sorry ladies, you can’t have him. Lord Boxman is the only openly gay eggman, and he’s got a lovely husband. He’s a flustered dork when he’s around his crush and it’s honestly so cute. I fantasize about him rubbing his long chicken hand down my back like a backscratcher, and the deep intimate sensation it would give me to melt away all the stress of life. Lord Venomous is so lucky to have that. Also We also got to respect a (previously) single dad who loves his kids and is trying his best to run and operate an evil empire all on his own. He’s voiced by the legendary Jim Cummings, his voice is deep and scratchy. He’s 5 foot something and he’s royalty!

this concludes our tier list, no I do not take constructive criticism, because my opinion is correct. 

#tierlist #sonic the hedgehog #eggman #jim carrey eggman #sonic boom #satam #asoth #ok ko #sonic IDW #Sonic Archie #sonadow #sonamy #gerald robotnik #boxman #voxman #sonic 06 #nega eggman #sonic x #steve eggman #mr tinker #sonic movie #sonic fanart #sonic au #anti eggman

[hwalloween]

Rainy Days (YuSan X Reader)

Pairing: Boyfriend!Yunho X Reader X Boyfriend!San 

Synopsis: Rainy days weren’t your favorites, but that one took the trophy. Thank god you had Yunho and San to help out. 

Genre: Fluff fluff fluff, a tiny bit of crack

Word Count: 1.7k

Warning: Poly Relationship, just a lot of gushy mushy stuff, mention of period stuff, some swearing, there is nudity but it’s just really UwU

Tag: @galaxteez​ you said you’re in your period so 

A/N: This is the fluffiest I can get before my filfthy brain gets in the way. This is for all the people that are in their period now, I feel you baby 

Rainy days weren‘t definitely your favorites. The thunders and storms, swings on the internet, the inability of going outside and doing something much better than just staring at the TV. Everything about it seemed to make you down. But that rainy day, that was the worst of the worst. 

Laying on the couch, you were in a fetal position, eyes closed, hands together on top of the low part of your stomach, mind too busy to care with anything else but the pain. Oh the pain. If dying inside could have a sensation, you were pretty sure that would be it, a stabbing pain of a thousand knives running through your entire body, concentrating just on your most sensitive part. For your misfortune, you had woken up on your period, and as if destiny had decided to mock your face, there were no painkillers in the kitchen, which made you get even grumpier. The only solution by now was just lay somewhere and cry while the solution didn’t appear at your door. 

But you weren’t suffering alone, oh no, a period cramp is a collective cramp. Your boyfriends were also having a hard time, not by trying to please you, but by seeing you suffering without being able to do much so. Yunho was by your side, gently rubbing your back and frowning each time you moaned out of pain, wondering if there was something he could do. San was long gone, having left the house to get groceries for what was supposed to be a movie night, but had become more of a horror movie itself. Rolling in your back, you stared at the selling with teary eyes, the cramps were undeniably hard that day. 

— Hey, come here - You heard Yunho speak up, groaning just at the thought of having to move a single finger. Chuckling lightly, your boyfriend involved your body on his arms, pulling you off the couch and placing you on his lap, hugging you tightly as you hide your face on the crook of his neck, smelling the fresh perfume he had. 

— I know you’re in pain, San is buying everything you need. But in the meanwhile, is there anything I can do? - His puppy eyes stared at you with worry, hands rubbing your lower back to try and sooth you. 

— I don’t know… - You moaned quietly, putting your cheek against his broad shoulders and looking back at him with even puppier eyes - Can you magically take the pain of me? 

— No… - He said quietly, a sad tone coating his voice. Biting his lower lip, Yunho looked around the apartment, trying to find a temporary solution. As if a light had clicked upon his head, he picked you up, legs around his waist, and carried you all the way over to the kitchen, placing you on the counter top and moving to the shelves. Losing the warm contact with Yunho made you pout, bringing your legs to your chest and resting your face on your knees, they weren’t wrong when calling you their little baby. 

You got curious when you saw Yunho grabbing two mugs, then going to the fridge and searching for something. Just as you were about to ask him what he was doing, a painful cramp hitted you, making you close your eyes shut due to the pain and hug your legs even more, whining and sobbing a little, that was a nightmare. 

— Hey, got you something, I guess - Looking up, you saw your boyfriend holding one of the mugs, specifically your mug, and you could see a little bit of steam coming out of it. Grabbing gently, you noticed that there was hot cocoa inside, the little bubbles popping themselves and disappearing. That put a little smile on your face, looking back at the tall boy in front of you, that wrapped his arms around you and gave you a gentle peck in the lips.  Just as you were about to give a little sip, key sounds were heard, the front door then opening and revealing a soaked San with grocery bags. He waved one of the bags, a little one, a tired smile appearing on his face. 

— Got the painkillers, and some other stuff - He said with a chuckle. The solution had, indeed, appeared in your door. Kicking off his shoes and entering, you could see the droplets of rain all over his jacket and jeans, his hair all wet and sticking to his forehead. 

— Just in time, Y/N was about to drink something - Yunho said, looking at you with a little smile. God you loved your boyfriends. San came to the kitchen, placing the groceries by your side and then stuffing his hand inside the small bag, pulling out three medicine boxes. 

— I didn’t know how much you needed, so I grabbed three just in case… - The younger said shyly, handing over one of the boxes to you. You grabbed his arm as he did, pulling him lightly and then giving him a loving kiss, thanking for his effort and thoughtfulness. Popping one of the pills out, you put the medicine in your tongue, giving a big gulp of the hot cocoa and swallowing everything together. It burned your throat lightly, but was worth it to feel no more pain in the next couple of hours. 

— Gosh, I think I need a shower - San commented, looking at himself. He was, indeed, soaking wet, which you would normally think was hot, but in that context, could get him a cold. 

— I could make a use of one too… - You mumbled, sipping on the drink and thinking. Maybe a shower could get all the yucky feeling off of your body. 

— Let’s all go together, this way the bill is smaller - Yunho concluded, using his strong arms to get you off of the counter top. 

— Can we all fit in the bathtub? I mean, the shower barely holds tw- - San began, but Yunho fastly shushed him, putting a finger on the younger’s lips and shaking his head. 

— We can fit there, that bathtub is more powerful than you think - You and San looked at each other questionly, then looking back at the tall boy - I’ll go grab the clothes, you two to the bathroom, now.

Without missing a beat, both you and San moved to the bathroom, a shiver going down your spine as soon as a little bit of clothing started to come off. It was rather cold that day, so your skin had goosebumps all the way over to your toes, hands slightly shaking as you took off your pajamas and placed them to the side. San, on the other hand, was already naked, checking the temperature of the water, making sure it was warm and nice for you. No matter how many times you saw them without clothes, San’s and Yunho’s body still amazed you, the fine lines and curves of them being more than eye-candy to you. Sitting on the rather large tub, the dark-haired boy motioned for you to come, guiding you to sit on his lap. 

— Harsh day? - He asked, placing his chin on your shoulder, arms sliding around your waist and holding you dearly. You confirmed with your head, letting yourself rest against his body, hearing the door opening again and a tall figure come in with some comfy clothes. Yunho joined both of you in the bathtub, the warm water tickling your skin and bringing a good sensation — Y/N - You looked up, facing San’s sweet gaze - Can I wash your hair? 

It wasn’t much before San’s fingers were massaging your scalp, making you feel sleepy as you slumped against him, feeling Yunho massaging your feet and legs on the other side of the tub. If heaven had a feeling, it probably was that one. You heard some giggling, looking back at the tallest of your three and seeing that he was holding back a laugh, putting his hand over his mouth to conceal the sound. Yunho must have seen how confused you looked, so he motioned back to San, who was also holding back a laugh. 

 — Yah! Why are both of you laughing? - You said, earning more laughs from both your boyfriends. 

 — Maybe you should look in the mirror, Y/N - Yunho said, grabbing a hand mirror that was in the sink close to his side. When looking at your reflexion, you finally saw what was the fuze about, and you hitted San’s chest, making him laugh even more

— Why did you make horns with my hair, San?! - You splashed water on his face, seeing as he stopped laughing and throwed water back at you, accidentally hitting Yunho and starting a water fight. If the bathroom was clean, it wasn’t anymore. Your faces were all wet, and bubbles were flying through the room, the pain you had on your body was long forgotten as your hands fluffed your hair, taking off the horns. Yunho was the first to leave the bath, offering you a hand and helping you out, while San also got up and put a towel around your figure, making you warm again. Yunho placed you on top of the sink counter, giving you a kiss on the forehead as he grabbed the clothes, unfolding them and helping you to get yourself on them. 

Warm and comfy, you three directed yourselves to the living room, grabbing the rest of the bags San had brought on the way. The boys opened the couch, and you guys plopped yourselves on it, throwing a blanket over everyone and cuddling all together. On the bags, there were various snacks and sweets, everything your mother would absolutely prohibe to eat on the daily, so it was even yummier. San grabbed the TV control, deciding to put on some random movie, just to have something to do. You yawned, feeling the sleep starting to hit you after a long and painful day.

— Go to sleep, sweetheart - San said, getting even closer to you and allowing your heart to rest better on his shoulder. 

— We’ll be here if you need, now rest - Yunho completed, making sure that the blanket was covering you nicely. Both boys gave you a little peck, eyeing on you as your own eyes started to close and you quickly drifted off to dreamland. 

Rainy days weren’t definitely your favorites, but at least you had your two favorite boys in the world to make it better. 

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez reaction #ateez headcanon #ateez moodboard #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez smut #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi

[yikesharringrove]

the fic you wrote for my last prompt was amazing, ty 😭 can you do 50 + 56 this time please? and if you want to work in dyslexic!steve too that would be awesome! 🥰

You are speaking my fuckin’ language, dyslexic Steve is my ABSOLUTE jam. Honestly, whenever I write Steve, he’s dyslexic, although sometimes it’s not mentioned because it’s not important to Harry’s journey @ jk rowling

Thank you for your request! I’m really glad you liked the other one I wrote! You’re anonymous so I don’t know which one that is but I really enjoyed writing them all! Sorry for my manic energy rn.

Something a little different, it’s modern au! This is probably nothing like what you were thinking so I’m sorry, but I kinda love it ngl.

50: Secret Admirer

56: “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”

Prompt list!

Billy spent three and a half hours reading through every single tweet on the account.

There were so fucking many of them. The earliest one was timestamped from four days ago, so obviously, this person had no life outside of tweeting.

Tweeting about Billy.

He had a few personal favorites. He had retweeted them to his account, figuring may as well play it up, make a joke outta everything.

@ImHardForHargrove: sorry WHOMST gave you the RIGHT to have eyes that fuckin blue im YELLING

@ImHardForHargrove: watchin u play basketball is a religious experience y are ur arms so BIG hhnnnng

And Billy’s absolute favorite, which he pinned right at the top of his account

@ImHardForHargrove: ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass

Billy knew he looked good. Knew he turned heads wherever he went. He did that on purpose. But realizing someone at Hawkins High had set up a thirst account for him, well.

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.” Billy had explained the situation to Robin, letting her go through the account on his phone. “Like, It’s kinda nice, whoever this guy is, he’s got a crush. But also like, It’s kinda creepy. Plus he’s objectifying me,” Billy was talking through his sandwich.

Robin made a face of disgust. “Why do you keep saying ‘he’? All of the girls in this fucking school are practically drooling for you.”

“Hard for Hargrove, Robin. I know you’re like, revolted by the peen and whatever but that does not excuse a lack of basic sexual education and anatomy.” She gagged at him. Honest to God, gagged. He thought she was gonna spew all over the table.

“If I ever hear you call it a peen ever again, it’s on sight Hargrove.” Heather plopped herself down next to Robin, kissing her cheek before zeroing in on Billy’s phone, still in Robin’s hand.

“Have you guys worked out who it could be yet?” Her eyes were wide at Billy.

“Billy says he thinks its a guy even though people with penises aren’t necessarily men.” Robin gave him a pointed look.

“Yeah Robin, I know that, but, I don’t know I just think it’s a guy penis-having person.”

Heather narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you actually think that, or are you just hoping in that goblin little brain of yours that this account is Steve Harrington’s.” Billy could feel the heat spread down his neck.

“Billy, I know Steve is like, the only out guy in this whole fucking town, but you can do way better than him.  PLUS, I feel like it makes more sense if the person running this account wasn’t out and had to channel their gay yearning through social media.”

“First of all Robin, you have this vendetta against Steve that I don’t get. He’s a nice guy. He’s kinda dopey, kinda dumb, but he’s like, sweet and shit. Second, I’m not out, so it still could be him because he doesn’t think I would, like, accept his advances or whatever. Hence, gay internet yearning.” The chime of the bell sent them packing their lunches, Billy’s phone vibrated in Robin’s hand. She rolled her eyes when he realized he turned on notifications for the account

“Get a fucking life you loser.” She slapped the phone into his hand. He opened the new tweet with embarrassing zeal.

@ImHardForHargrove: i saw u talking with ur mouth full and it was yucky but i was still  🥺🥺

His head shot up, trying to see who would have been facing him during lunch, but the cafeteria was almost empty.

The rest of the week Billy took deliberate care of every interaction he had with anyone. Observing who was in his surroundings, and making note of everything he did and said. He took extra caution around Steve, wanting to spot any minute detail that could give away who ran the account.

The account started blowing up. People were retweeting like fucking crazy. Everywhere he went, he was being asked if he’s seen it, like he doesn’t regularly retweet the good ones. The search for the owner of the account had spread throughout the whole school. A few girls even tried to claim the account was theirs, but every time that happened the account would tweet out something to discredit whoever made the claim, proving them a liar.

Billy was starting to lose hope it was Harrington. The tweets were coming at all different times, posted whenever the person thought about it, so Billy was losing track of who was near when he said or did something. And the tweets were always about stupid stuff Billy didn’t register doing. On Wednesday night the account said

@ImHardForHargrove: hi when you chew on your pencil and it makes me 🥴 that is all thx for comin to my ted talk

Friday afternoon gave them all:

@ImHardForHargrove: walked past ur classroom and u were asleep ive never wanted to CUDDLE someone so bad in my LIFE

But Saturday, Saturday renewed all hope for Harrington Billy could possibly have. Lauren Kranz was throwing a party. It was the first real rager in a while, so everyone was there, and everyone was sloshed. Everyone but Billy, who’d agreed to be designated driver for Robin and Heather like some kinda idiot.

He was brooding on the back porch when his phone went off. The account was active, and the owner was drunk.

@ImHardForHargrove: I can seeeeee u oyt the windw I wan u 2 FUC ME. RAW DOG.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry ur so beauitiful nd THICCC

@ImHardForHargrove: I wana shoot my shot but idk if u lik bois

@ImHardForHargrove: (ys i am boi)

@ImHardForHargrove: nd i dont wana get my heart broken agin 😥

He was right about it being a guy. He was right about him being too nervous to approach him outright. His brain was screaming stevestevesteve at him. Hawkins was shook when Steve came out as bisexual in his sophomore year. He was the golden boy, a real jock. He was NOT the kind of guy people would assume queer in a small midwestern town.

He was kind of a douchebag, dumping one girl for another, sleeping with her and never calling again. But then he settled down with this guy from the University of Indianapolis for a few months until Steve caught him cheating. Apparently, he had slashed the guy’s tires. Billy was impressed.

The next year came Wheeler, who only stuck around long enough to make sure Steve was nice and whipped before she fucked off on him too. So Steve retreated. Spent more time with middle schoolers than anybody else. Didn’t want to put his heart on the line anymore until he knew it wouldn’t be stomped on.  Billy could respect that.

Billy couldn’t risk being out in a town like Hawkins. Word always had a way of getting right back to his dad, and in a tiny hick town with nothing better to do than gossip, it was usually only a matter of hours before Neil heard something he didn’t like.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry 4 bad typing rn. drunk nd dysl exic ren’t a happy combo

Billy’s heart stopped. The drunken idiot was giving himself away. Maybe if he sat here staring at the account long enough, enough would be revealed he could figure it all out like a shitty drunk episode of Blue’s Clues.

He was so focused on Twitter, refreshing his feed, again and again, he didn’t notice a very drunk, and very unsteady Steve Harrington stumbling out the back door towards him. Until he crashed into his back.

“Sorry, Bill!” Billy had Steve by the shoulders trying to keep him upright. “Heyy I have a question for you.” Steve grabbed one of Billy’s hands and veered over to the table and chairs arranged neatly on the small patio. When they were sitting, Steve kept ahold of Billy’s hand.

“Hi.” Steve was smiling like a little kid. Billy was in fucking love.

“hey, Harrington. What was your question.”

“So-oo. I have this friend. A very good friend. Super close. And he has a big ol’ crush on you but he’s too scared to ask you himself because he keeps getting his heart fuckin’ broken so he wanted me to ask. Are you into guys?” It’s a miracle Billy understood any of that, every word blending into the next.

“That depends.” Billy leaned in, running his tongue along his bottom lip. He saw Steve take in a sharp breath, following the movement with his glazed eyes. He knew Steve was talking about himself, he just wanted to rile him up a little. Make him blush first. “This friend you’re talkin’ about. He’s our age? Like you’re not trying to set me up with one a’ your kids, right?” Steve physically recoiled.

“NO, you fuckin’ pedo. I’m NOT trying to set you up with a fuckin’, fuckin’ middle schooler. My friend is, uh eighteen. He’s a senior.” Unless Tommy fuckin’ H. suddenly had a penchant for dick Billy didn’t know about, Steve was 100% talking about himself.

“Well, if he’s as pretty as you are, I’d love to go out with him sometime.” Billy winked. Steve went red.

“Okay, but like, does that mean you’d go out with me? Like I’m as pretty as me, right? Because I was talking about me. Not ‘a friend’ I was talking about me. Steve.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured that out. You know, I was hoping it was you running that Twitter. Any time you’d tweet out something you wanted to do with me, I was always picturin’ doing it with you, Baby.” Billy was practically purring. “Especially all the shit you wanted me to do TO you.” Steve gave something between a whine and a groan and flopped himself onto Billy’s lap, straddling him with very little grace.

“Thank God. ‘Cause you’re so fucking hot I’d let you do anything to me. Anything, Bill.” Billy smiled softly at him.

“Then let me take you home. Let me put you in bed to sleep off all this. And let me take you to breakfast tomorrow. Something nice and greasy for your hangover tummy.” Steve was a puddle in Billy’s lap. “C’mon, Drunky, git your ass up.” Steve just giggled and muttered Drunky Skunky under his breath.

Billy sighed and stood up, hefting Steve up with him.

“Bil-ly,” Steve whined. “You’re so strong, this is so fucking hot. I gotta tweet about this.”

“Tweet it later, Sweet Thing.”

It took Billy for-fucking-ever to find Robin and Heather (they were making out in the basement with the stoners). But Steve chirped and cooed into his ear, so happy Billy could lift him and hold him like it was nothing.

The last tweet from the account was timestamped from Sunday evening.

@ImHardForHargrove: Hi this is Steve. Billy’s my boyfriend now 🥰#ThirstWorks

#I'm gonna reblog this in the morning too #Im v proud of it I want people to SEE IT #harringrove #steve harrington #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #billy hargorve #modern au #modern harringrove #yikes writes #harringrove prompts #Harringrove Prompts list #harringrove prompt fill #prompt fill #prompt fic

[floodinginthegarden]

INCEST'S WEIRD MAINSTAY IN OPERAS - RARE OPERA CLUB, VOL. 14 - FRANK MARTIN'S LE VIN HERBE

I’m not going to talk too much about this piece specifically. It was hard to really discern it’s function and meaning from the version I watched. This version staged the piece like an opera, even though it’s an oratorio, with instructions from Frank Martin for it not to be staged. The english translation also gave it a very stagnant and obvious feeling about it. The chorus spent the whole time describing the action, which in an oratorio is fine but in this staged context was not successful.

Okay, I said I wasn’t going to write about the performance so NOW I WILL NOT.

The piece is a telling of the Tristan and Isolde myth. Made famous by the Wagner opera (funnily enough, this weeks video essay is about the legacy and work of Wagner) this tale of star-crossed, accidental incestual love is one that has been kind of creepily obsessed over by composers over the years. Wagner not only portrays it in Tristan and Isolde but this unsuspecting sibling love also forms the relationship of Siglinde and Sigmund in Act I of Die Walkure in the Ring Cycle. Olivier Messiaen talked about the myth being influential on his early large scale work Turangalila Symphony, along with other early large works forming an interconnected trilogy. Hans Werner Henze wrote in the 1970s a large work for piano and orchestra called Tristan. And of course Debussy’s opera Pellease and Melisande is a retelling of the French version of the myth. Now that I list these composers and works, some of my favourites, I realise this myth has also creeped into many pop and art pop songs too, including a song by Patrick Wolf called Tristan, an artist I wrote my honours thesis on. It has been popularised and pretty much fetishised by Game of Thrones and other medieval knock-offs. It’s an easy taboo to tap into - it generates extreme reactions, yet still step-parent and step-brother/sister porn is often rated as the most searched on the internet.

What is the appeal of this myth (and incest in general)? In this myth the couple meet and have an immediate connection and sexual tension. These feelings are strangely familiar and welcoming. They twist and turn throughout each version, usually resulting in an eruption of physical love. It’s then usually revealed, or discovered they are brother and sister and madness ensues. This depiction of physical love isn’t something that is unusual in music, and the added mystery of the unknown origins of these familiar feelings paint the  differing interpretations with intriguing feelings of lust, longing and guilt. Many of these works capture this feeling and essence, and I think that is what the composers are probably most drawn to - trying to describe in music the mysterious attraction between these two.

However, a major taboo is still explored by major composers in major works, often on stage and often produced in times more conservative to our own. Perhaps there is a weird, twisted, almost Freudian working out of these sorts of sexual feelings by composers, especially with many of these works coming in before or on the cusp of women’s suffrage and the eventual sexual revolution.  I explore sex a lot in my work, it’s one of the main motivators of my work. I am especially interested in finding humane and genuine depictions of homosexual and non-binary love and sex in my music, to try and broaden and diversify the depictions of sex in media. However, these school-boyish obsessions of incest and confused, guilt laden medieval bonking have always felt unauthentic to me. Pelleas and Melsande for instance - I adore this opera. I find the music intoxicating, and when done properly Melisande has this mystery and grace about her that’s really intriguing. However the sort of feminine ambivalence of her, the way she’s depicted by Debussy as a sort of forlorn, distant, mysterious femme fatale has more often than not got me wanting to yell at the singers on stage in frustration. “JUST MAKE A DECISION” or “JUST ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS” or “JUST ASK WHO SHE IS. AND WHERE HAS SHE COME FROM” Often the women in these works are passive, and are usually won over by swash-buckling male bravado - he pulls a sword from a stone or a tree, or he kills his brothers, or finds a ring, or slays a bear and other such masculine, middle ages fare princes would get up to.

The inherent awkwardness of the love interest between these character always has me unconvinced. They always seem to be in love because of physical attraction and this “sense” of destiny. I think it would actually be more interesting to explore the political nature of men’s power over women in these times, rather then the old love at first site gag. One could argue it’s just an older style of story telling, and that this might be too revisionist and could end badly, but surely when Wagner or Debussy or Messiaen thought of reaching for these myths they would have in the back of their mind the fact these stories are kind of gross. Even for their time, they’re kind of yucky. Lindsay Ellis has some similar thought and discussions around the remake of Disney’s Beauty and Beast in this video, where she explores this idea of letting the myth be the myth, rather then to update the myth for our times.

Another  example is Siglinde in Die Walkure - the tension of the first act is excellently done, but it’s always struct me as kind of awkward that she is literally living as a prisoner in this weird love triangle that somehow results in the phallic release of the sword from the tree and her running off with her brother. I can understand this sort of incest adoration in the 16th and 17th centuries, such as under the reign of Charles II, last Habsburg King of Spain. If you don’t know his story look it up now. One of my favourite party tricks is explaining that his mother is also his first cousin, his maternal grandmother is also his paternal aunty, his paternal grandmother is also his maternal great-aunt etc (see his family tree below). But these works are written in more modern times, and so for me, the incest side of things feels a little suss. They’re also often written in countries that were really conservative with laws, morals and religious beliefs that would have gone against depictions of incest. Clara Schumann said that Tristan was repulsive. Is old mate Dicky Wagner just vying for cheap reactions and scandal?

“Indeed some of the quotations from writers such as critic and later first Yale Professor of Music Gustave Stoeckel (who finds himself intoxicated by the Siegmund-Sieglinde duet while the music plays, only to feel guilty for that enjoyment of incest when the music ends). ”

What I’m getting at is that I can see why big artistic projects would want to depict and enshrine the political nature of incest in the middle ages and the renaissance - to show these highly inbred regents it is okay to be so genetically deformed - but in the works we’re talking about are far more modern.  These characters are often depicted it in a way that is superhuman (in these depictions a Übermensch, chosen one type is born from the union of bro and sis), mystical and that there is some destiny at play with these two meeting and bonking. Sometimes it is something that is against the laws of natural, but often the lines are either blurred and it isn’t explicitly called out or it’s fantasised. There is always heavy helpings of destiny and magic to justify these relationships, and they’re always kings and queens, or hero’s or princes and have political influence.

But, how many dark ages royals do you know who accidentally lost a daughter and a son and they ended up being brought up by other factions, only one day to marry? I’m sorry I know these are myths, but they’re just implausible for me. I think it would make sense if these works came from an earlier time, where the political system enshrined incest more often, but many of these pieces are from the late 19th and early 20th centuries, very much in the modern time. Perhaps this resurgence of incest came from Queen Victoria and her system of marrying off her many children to various crown heads, causing a resurgence of incest among monarchs in the late 19th and early 20th centuries? And perhaps these works are an attempt to appease these political forces and give them reassurance that it’s okay, its right for the political stability and perhaps will give the Kaiser some super human powers? However Wagner’s opera pre-dates German unification and so this reappearance of wide spread incest at the highest levels of the political class.. Though, it was obviously more prevalent in society, presumably in conversation and had a very important geo-political ramifications on the growing Nation States, and so maybe were in the minds of people more then in the past?

Who thought incest could be so interesting?

[theincompetentgenius]

Hello 😄 Life generator is totally awesome idea! I already love it and would like to request one for Arcana world. I hope it won’t be too much of a problem, and thank you in advance ❤️

I’m a big science nerd, especially good in math, hungry for knowledge, with unsatiable curiosity. But at the same time, i radiate dumbass energy. Most of the time i’m silent, because i don’t really know what to say, since my mind is tv static. I enjoy creating, my hobbies are singing, drawing, painting, scupting, embroidery and other forms of crafting. But i really don’t have any creativeness on my own. And i lack in artistic skills, but i substitute it with persistence. I’m really patient and can go over one place hundreds times until i’m satisfied, and i’m never giving up on any wips, they just wait for their turn (..same about people, even if have no contact with them anymore i still consider them as friends, i don’t cut ties). Even if they pile up and there’s probably no way to finish it up in one lifetime. Damn, i wish i was immortal. There’s so many knowledge and skills to learn, and art to consume and create in the world. But i don’t really have any passion or hiperfixation, i’m just all over the place, a jade of all trades and master of none. Most of the time is spend resting, on internet, because i run out of energy far too quick, especially physical and social. The problems of being contained in a body that wants to rest at all costs xd Physically i’m really weak, even though i work out regularly, my super low endurance doesn’t improve. I’m so quickly drained and need to recharge that for long so it looks like i’m lazy. Basically i’m never bored, but i can get frustraded when i’m wasting time.

I’m pretty open and honest person and have no brakes, i overshare whenever i have occasion (as you can see xD). I’m not hiding my emotions, except showing that someone hurt me (because i’m too proud to do that if that was meancingly, or i don’t want them to feel bad if it wasn’t). I’m friendly, very empathetic, eager to help if approached. I can easily put myself into other people’s shoes and always try to understand where others come from, their reasoning. And i care about others’ well being. But i’m quite a hermit, i barely have any social needs, and never approach people first. I’m fine on my own. Since i can remember, i only lived inside my own world in my head. Being around people is nice too though, but i’m pretty socially clueless. I don’t really experience loneliness, unless i miss certain people. And that happens super rarely too, i don’t get that attached to even closest people. But it happens, i can get really attached.

I can get anxious and uncertain around people, because i don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, cross boundaries or face any sort of negative consequences. But i don’t care what people think of me n my actions, especially if i don’t know them. Social norms are only chains. There’s no reason to follow them. I prefer my order of doing things. Order is really important to me, i need it for my things, my actions, my plans. My free time is dictated by algorithms i make, that get more and more complicated with each update. Most of the time i’m in neutral state, pretty apathetic. Emotions can be easily triggered, but die as fast and i go back to the state of nirvana. I rarely get stressed and don’t care too much about issues, life always works out in one way or another. That’s why i’m chill, patient and calm.

I love cute and pretty things, sweets, plushies, hugs, cats. When it comes to nature, sure i like it and it is interesting, but i don’t really like being close to it because of bugs. They’re yucky >.> I’m hesistant about a lot of stuff and super cautious about things that could cause physical harm, which i guess makes me a coward. And i don’t enjoy travelling. I mean it is okay, but doesn’t spark any emotion, besides maybe knowledge seeking. Instead, i’m big fan of magic and powers. Not that boring stuff like astrology, but rather like you k'now, superheroes or wizards things. Wish that kind of stuff existed irl, and wish i had it all, just like with irl skills xd Also i’m really, really picky eater.

Thank you for your interest in the world of The Arcana. You will be reborn into your new life shortly. The simulation will begin in 3…….. 2……. 1……..

B A C K G R O U N D

Your mother had left you in front of the doorsteps of a poor orphanage when you were only months old. She felt that she was unfit to take care of you because she was not financially stable, but she could only hope for the best for you. Fortunately, you were left at the hands of caring and understanding individuals who supported you through your childhood. However, your scattered interests in the arts, sciences, and magic had left many people confused. They couldn’t wrap their heads around the concept that a young girl could explore such complex concepts, but that never mattered to you. Your interests were in your newfound magic. While you wouldn’t practice magic in public, you would use it when necessary or convenient. Yet these few moments caused panic within your town. You were becoming too smart, too powerful, and too curious. The townsmen felt threatened by your mere presence, so they banished you from the city under the pretense that you were a “threat to their well-being.” Yet you never saw the bursting potential buried within you.

F R I E N D S  

Julian

Now that you had been kicked out of your hometown, you had absolutely no idea where to go. There weren’t too many cities near your own and you weren’t sure if you had enough supplies to last you through your entire trip. Although you were sure that you could find a small village nearby, you still felt the need to check over your supplies to prevent excessive spending. The fact that you had to travel through the heat didn’t make things any better.

You aimlessly wandered through the leafy forests, hoping that the direction of winds, clouds, and the sun would give you some indication as to where you were. Unfortunately, you had crossed the same dead lizard five times. You were moving in circles. A sigh escaped your lips as you trudged through the forest. Your mind had gone blank and you couldn’t think of a plan to get yourself out of this mess. Your calm demeanor was wearing thin as all your plans had begun to fall apart.  The thought of blasting yourself into the sky with air magic had crossed your mind, but you knew that you were incapable of landing safely.

In the midst of your thoughts, you bumped into a tall, brooding figure. You instinctively elongated the vines from the plants, preparing to attack whatever was in front of you.

“Don’t hurt me with those vine things! I’m just a traveler!” A man with cooper hair and an eyepatch yelled.

You did a quick lookover and dropped the vines from your grasp. The man let out a sigh of relief and scrambled to his feet. He looked back at you and collected his things. Although you did not want to speak to him, he probably knew the jungle better than you and was your possible ticket to getting out of this mess. You mustered the courage in your chest to call out to him.

“Wait! I’m sorry that I shot those vines at you. I thought you were a monster, but that’s beside the point. Do you know where we are?”

He looked around with a suspicious glance. “I have a general idea. Can’t you use your magic to get yourself out of here?”

“If only I could, then I wouldn’t be wandering around with a loaf of bread and a flask of water.”

The stranger let out a chuckle. “I suppose you’re right. How did you get stuck in this place?”

And so you told him your story and your woes as an exile. You looked away, expecting him to make a rude remark but he chuckled and shook his head.

“Maybe we’re not so different, Magician. I happen to be an informally-exiled doctor for murdering a Count.”

You raised your eyebrow. For a murderer, he was rather friendly. Before you could ask any more questions, he told you his story (or whatever he remembered from it). There seemed to be many holes, but you were fairly entertained by them.

“Is Vesuvia close by?” You asked.

“Yeah, just a little down south. I’m going there to get some answers about myself. Are you going to join me?”

Other friends: Nadia, Muriel

R O M A N C E

Asra

Once you arrived at Vesuvia with Julian, the two of you went separate ways.  Not that any altercation had taken place, but Julian was more focused on uncovering his past while you needed a place to stay. So you went about, searching for possible adobes for shelter. They were either too expensive or in terrible quality. But you didn’t give up, there had to be something you could find.

As you passed through the unfamiliar streets, you looked for possible places to sleep for the night. The pillar looked too stiff, the grass was too moist, and sleeping next to a building would hurt your back. Things were looking rough for you.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a tap on your shoulder. You spun around to see a handsome young man with fluffy, white hair and a soft smile. “You look a little lost and I don’t think I’ve seen you around. Are you new here?”

You let out a sheepish grin. “Yeah, I’m just looking for a place to stay. Do you know any place that’s inexpensive but sanitary?”

The man placed his hand on his chin, presumably to think of an answer to your question. After a moment, he responded. “You can stay at my place for the night. It’s not big, but it has a cozy feel to it.”

You shook your head. “You’re too kind, but I can’t infringe on your privacy like that. After all, you must have better things to do than help a random vagabond.”

“Well I used to be a vagabond myself, so I know the pain of wandering around with no place to go.” A snake slithered from his sleeve and cocked its head. “See? Even Faust thinks you should stay over.”

“You’re too kind!” You were about to accept his offer, but a new thought crossed your mind. What if he was trying to lure you to his home for dangerous reasons? There was no way to verify that he wasn’t a kidnapper or someone with ill intentions.

The stranger noticed your sudden discomfort. “If you’re worried about ill intentions, that was probably the furthest thing from my mind. How about you I show you around Vesuvia instead? If you feel more relaxed, you can stay at my place. But I’m not pressuring you if you don’t want to.”

“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

“By the way, my name is Asra. Shall we get started on this tour?” The two of you wander through the colorful stalls of the city, examining the golden trinkets and wooden toys. There were racks of fruit neatly organized based on size and color with shelves of pastries next to them. Asra bought you a few desserts despite your protests. Although most products were overpriced, there was a rustic charm to them all.

By the end of the tour, you felt more comfortable around him. The two of you had spent the time exploring and talking about anything and everything. You even told him about your exile from your hometown. As he heard the story, he placed his hand on your shoulder.

“You know, I’m a magician too. If you ever need help with anything, just let me know.” He gave another one of his angelic smiles.

“Thanks. I think I’m mentally okay, but I do need to strengthen my magic.”

“I have an idea to fix that. Would you like to become my apprentice?”

F I N A L    F A T E

Originally posted by autumncozy

You had taken Asra on his offer to become his apprentice and ended up staying at the shop for convenience purposes. It didn’t matter because most of your time was spent with Asra to improve your magic. Although you claimed to not have an affinity towards any type of magic, Asra would say that you were the best at everything you attempted. With each practice session, you grew better and more skilled in your magic. It was only a matter of time before the apprentice had become the master. Asra was amazed at your progress, but you weren’t so confident in your own abilities. There was always room for improvement in your eyes.

Word had spread that another talented magician had entered the Vesuvia, but that never bothered you. If they could accept Asra, there was no reason for them to mistreat you. Not everyone was as biased and prejudiced as the people of your hometown, yet you were cautious when performing your magic in public. When you did, you were surprised when receiving compliments and paid jobs from the public. And to make things better, Asra was always there to help.

Soon, the two of you felt that the shop’s business wasn’t doing too great and decided to close it down. After all, it gave you more living space so it wasn’t the worst feeling in the world. Instead, you came up with the idea to teach other aspiring magicians so they would not be stranded like you were. At first, Asra was unsure since he wanted to live alone together in a cottage further north from the city. But when you made the compromise to teach magic only during the summer in a remote location, he couldn’t refuse. He’d still have you all to himself during the spring, fall, and winter. Well, as long as Faust didn’t steal you away from him.

As time went by, you went on to train some of the most powerful magicians in the following generation. Some had gone to save other countries from treacherous monstrous while others had become the monsters themselves. There was regret harbored in your heart for you could not have the one who turned towards the dark path, but some people could not be saved. Nevertheless, you will be remembered as one of the pioneers of magic; it’s influence spread across the globe

T H E   E N D

#I'm so sorry about the uglyass emojis #idk how tf they got there #plz dont kill me #life simulation #submission #the arcana #asra #julian

[cromulentbookreview]

It Can Definitely Happen Here

Or: Internment by Samira Ahmed!

This will be a likely be a short review for the following reasons:

I’m lazy.

I only just finished the book

I had the ARC for months and only just got to it, see #1.

No one reads this, this blog is literally just me screaming into the black void that is the internet letting it know that I exist.

The book is out today and, once again, I have missed the point of an “advanced review.” Advanced meaning “in advance of the publication date.” Meaning “probably not the day the damn book comes out.”

Note: It has come to my attention that the book actually comes out on March 19, 2019. So...I actually got this review done on time. Ha. Aha. Ahahahahahahahaha.

Also, this book takes on a whole new meaning after the recent terrorist attack in New Zealand. I went back and reread some scenes and cried even more than I did already.

And now back to my regularly scheduled review.

Layla Amin is a regular American teenager. Only the America she lives in is under the control of a bunch of racist pieces of shit. Ahmed never gives names to these assholes in power - you can guess - but they don’t even really need names. It’s depressingly easy to imagine just who these people are. Anyway, the people in power are doing whatever they want. So they’ve declared all Muslims enemies of the state. Because of course they would. 

Unfortunately, Layla comes from a Desi family who are Muslim. They’re not super religious or anything, but that doesn’t matter. Rather than checking the “no religion” box on the census, the Amins refused to hide who they are, so they put down that they are Muslim. And now the Administration is using that data to round up all Muslim Americans and put them in internment camps.

Sound familiar? Yeah, because we’ve totally done it before. The Internment of Japanese Americans during WWII might feel like distant history, but it seriously wasn’t that long ago. Like, for serious serious not that long ago. 77 years is not that long ago in the grand scheme of things. People who were in those internment camps are still around. Like American Treasure and Mr. Sulu, George Takei who was just a kid when he was interred, first in Rohwer, Arkansas then at Tule Lake in California. As you can imagine, the internment camps for Japanese Americans were put in places that were less than hospitable. Like the middle of the desert. Because humanity can really be the worst sometimes.

Anyway, back to Layla. One night she breaks the nation-wide curfew to go and see her boyfriend, David, as teens are wont to do. Soon after she gets home, though, men with guns show up at her house and give her and her parents 10 minutes to pack up what they need. They’re taken to L.A. where they’re put on a train then put onto buses to a camp called Mobius somewhere outside Independence, California. Just a hop, skip and a jump from Manzanar! So...the desert. And no, this Mobius isn’t anything like the famous Möbius strip, either. This is a cross between a FEMA camp like you’d see after a natural disaster combined with a prison camp. Sure, they have food, water, and adequate shelter. It’s still a goddamn prison camp, though, run by the sadistic Director, whose actual name is never given but you can really picture who this guy looks like. Layla’s parents are, naturally, terrified by the whole situation and just want to keep their heads down and survive. Not Layla, though. She is going to resist, goddamn it! Plus, there’s a guard who is totally on her side. Or is he?

So, Internment - overall I thought the book was OK, but then again, I’m pretty biased towards stories that feature magic and dragons and steampunk. 15-minutes-into-the-future dystopias are less my thing at the moment. Probably because we live in one, but still. The writing was good, especially the descriptions of the yucky dusty desert. I’m a Pacific Northwesterner to my core - give me rain and trees, not desert. Let’s just ignore the fact that a huge portion of my home state is desert. I did like how Ahmed didn’t condemn Layla’s parents for wanting to keep their heads down and endure. Lots of YA novels tend to dismiss or ignore the fears and worries of parents in favor of the teen perspective, so it was nice to see a YA novel that acknowledges the parents’ fears. The main villain, the Director, was a mite cartoonish - but then again, if you watch Sophie Scholl: Die letzten Tage and think the Nazis in that movie are cartoonish, just remember they used actual court transcripts of Sophie Scholl’s trial for that movie. Evil can be pretty cartoony - doesn’t make it less scary. 

However, my favorite part of the whole book is Laya’s friend Ayesha. Ayesha is the best. Why? Because she loves Star Wars and also Riz Ahmed. Because, seriously, how can you not love both Star Wars and Riz Ahmed. I mean, come on:

He’s just so damn gorgeous.

I mean, come on, just look at him.

How much more proof do you need? Because I can look at gifs of Riz Ahmed all day.

Seriously, and yes this is an unpopular opinion alert, but Rogue One might just be my favorite Star Wars movie because I loved all the characters so much and every time I watch it I bawl my eyes out. I seriously wish Rogue One could’ve been a 10-part miniseries so we could’ve gotten to know the characters better. Like Cassian and K2-SO. And Bodhi - I want to know everything about his life and what he’s been up to. The novelization of the movie only offers so much! And I definitely could use a whole trilogy of Baze and Chirrut’s adventures.

Seriously, what were those two up to the whole time? How did they meet? How long have they been adventuring together? What was their life like before the Empire? What were they up to back when they were Guardians of the Whills? What kind of mischief did Chirrut get up to that Baze had to rescue him from? THIS IS INFORMATION THAT I NEED.

The tie-in novels only tell us so much, damn it! Though Rebel Rising was quite good (fuck yeah, Beth Revis!). Why can’t all of the Rogue One crew get spin-off novels? There were a few comics featuring the origin story of Cassian and K2, but I need a whole epic YA novel of their adventures. And Bodhi’s. And Baze and Chirrut’s. All they got was a middle grade novel. It wasn’t even an origin story! It was still good, though. I just want more. MORE, DAMN IT.

Huh, I knew I said this was going to be short review of Samira Ahmed’s Internment, but instead I got into a major Star Wars/Riz Ahmed spiral, there. Sometimes I just can’t help myself. I’ve gotta look at some more Riz Ahmed gifs.

God, he’s gorgeous.

RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone looking for some scary “it could definitely happen here” YA fiction.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Racists.

RATING: 3.5/5

RELEASE DATE: March 12, 2019. So. Uh. Today.  Actually, it comes out March 19, 2019. For some reason I got the two dates confused. So I was actually a week ahead here? I...I made a deadline? What...what is this feeling....is it...accomplishment of some sort?

Nah, this is a tumblr blog for wasting time, not an accomplishment.

RIZ AHMED:

#internment #samira ahmed #young adult fiction #ya fiction #book review #speculative fiction #it could happen #rogue one #riz ahmed #bodhi rook #star wars #star wars expanded universe #japanese internment #wwii history

[sophygurl]

Thoughts for National Coming Out Day in this year of our lord twentyGAYteen:

1. When I was a teenager, I knew I was straight. In my 20′s, I knew I was bi. In my 30′s, I knew I was pan. I’m in my 40′s now and it’s gotten complex.

I’m non-mono romantically and sexually attracted, as in I have attraction to multiple genders. 

But I’m also suspecting more and more that I fall on the ace spectrum along the lines of akoisexual. I experience attraction, I like the idea of dating and relationships, but I don’t like the feeling of being attracted to, and the reality of dating or sex or being in a relationship feels yucky to me. Some of this might be due to PTSD stuff and/or other medical reasons. But it also might just be who I am. It could be a combo of both. Whatever the case, I’m cool being single.

I’m also poly, and I know not everyone thinks polyamory belongs under the queer/lgbtetc. umbrella, but for me it most definitely fits as part of my overall orientation and identity. When I was dating, I did mono or poly relating equally, but FELT poly whichever I was doing. And as a singleton now, I still FEEL poly. It’s important to me. And my platonic life partners still feel like a poly community to me. We have each other in ways that significant others do but just minus the sex and romance. 

I’m also genderqueer, and I’ve thought a lot about what that means to me individually. I don’t consider myself trans or non-binary. There’s a lot of complicated and personal reasons why that is the case for me, but it ends up sounding like gatekeeping because other people might share similarities to my situation but do consider themselves trans and/or enby, so we’ll just leave it as - it’s just how I personally do and don’t identify. I feel that I have a multiplicity of gender, including feminine and masculine both. But I am also very comfortable with my assigned bio sex as female. It’s my gender that’s queer - not my sex. For some people it’s the other way around, or both. 

All of this is long-winded and complex, and so much easier summed up as queer, so mostly I just go with queer. Also because apparently queer is having to be re-reclaimed these days which pisses me off so I’m just gonna use the word queer as often as possible. Queer. Queer. Queer! 

2. I’m out, open, proud, and loud about my identities. This is mostly because I’m just an obnoxious self-discloser in general and will tell anyone anything about myself at the slightest provocation. 

BUT Also, I do think it is very important for the people who can and want to be out to do so. Someone has to answer questions and challenge norms and be an example to young folk and make all this shit visible and normalized. And since I have no qualms about being out, I am happy to do these things for the folks who can’t or just choose not to. Because that shit is valid as hell, too. 

There are so many many reasons why someone might not feel safe to come out, or ready to come out, or not want to come out fully, or might just want to come out to some people and not others, or might want to come out about some aspects of their identities and not others, or might want to be fully out but not be bugged or questioned about it beyond stating what is true about themselves, etc. All of that is valid. 

But I’m here and openly queer and ready to talk about it. So feel free to ask me about my queerness. (This goes for other shit in my life, too. For example, I will answer questions about my chronic illnesses or my mental illnesses or about living on disability benefits or about being an abuse survivor or about my favorite books or my cats or whatever the fuck.) 

Leave the people who want their privacy alone. But I’m someone you can come at, as long as you’re polite and respectful about it. 

3. My coming out stories are kinda weird. Because my life has been kinda weird. So like, my dad came out to me when I was around 10 and my parents were splitting up. It came out along with a whole bunch of other stuff about the dysfunctional aspects of my parent’s marriage and some wrong things my dad did which is maybe the one thing I won’t talk publicly about yet because it’s not really my story to tell but I do talk about it privately. But so anyway. Yea.

My parents split up, my dad came out as gay and left the ministry as a result, and he moved out of town. This was in the mid-80′s in a conservative area of the midwest, so it was not a thing that was talked about publicly. I did not tell any of my friends for years. One friend found out by snooping through my things and then told me. Another friend and I got talking because he had a gay older brother and we were safe people to talk to about this thing (it later turned out we were both queer too but I sure didn’t know back then and I think he was probably in early figuring it out stages himself at the time). 

I didn’t tell anyone else until I got to college. Not even my bestest friend knew. So first things first - I had to come out about my dad being gay.

I didn’t personally have an issue with my dad’s gayness. I just knew other people were likely to, and I was being actively bullied by half the student body already and if this secret came out it would just have given them more fodder, so I kept it in. Turns out, some of my friends had figured it out anyway and were fine with it. And all of my friends were great about it once they were told. 

But not only was my dad gay, but my parents were very liberal and we had family friends who were gay, and my parents talked openly with me about trans people and intersex people and many other things so it was not an issue for me. I used to sometimes wonder if I might be gay and then go, nope, I like boys too much! lol

So then I got to college. And met and befriended people who were bisexual or at least bi-curious and it got me thinking... and one day while out thinking I caught myself watching a woman’s butt wiggling as she walked in front of me, and I realized that I enjoyed watching such things a lot, and the lightbulb clicked on like ooohhhhhhh I’m bisexual! 

My friends who were fine about my dad being gay were equally fine about my bisexuality. I mean, listen, some of them were conservative Christians who believed I was probably going to end up in hell some day - but they probably thought that about me before this realization for other reasons anyway - and they still loved and accepted me as a person, which is what mattered to me. I was a little worried to tell my dad because I knew not all gay people accepted bi people, but he was fine about it. 

The funny part was my mom. When I went off to college, my mom started doing as much self-exploration as I was doing. So we kept coming to the same realizations around the same time. Bisexuality, polyamory, Unitarian Universalism, etc. It was like - I discovered this new thing about myself ... oh yea, me too! lol

I’ve never had a negative coming out experience with anyone I actually care about. I’ve had strangers or casual acquaintances on the internet react badly, but that shit doesn’t bother me. 

I know I am incredibly lucky - both in how easy it’s been for me to figure out and accept my own identities, and in how easy it’s been for the people in my life to accept them and me. I remember I told my bestest friend about my bisexuality when I had just broken up with my first partner - a guy - and was heart broken and going to come live with her for a little bit until I got my life sorted back out a bit. I wanted her to know, in case I started to date a woman. But I also didn’t want her to worry about the whole living in the same space thing, so I assured her I wasn’t attracted to her in that way. She very comically asked me why, wasn’t she attractive enough, and acted offended, which was just the perfect reaction and I will love her forever for that. 

Not only have I never had a bad coming out experience, but I know that my coming out has directly helped others to come to terms with their identities, and has helped to educate open minded but unaware allies about lots of things. So I am very fortunate. 

And this is a huge part of why I can so easily and comfortably be out and proud. Not everyone gets to have the experiences that I’ve had. So if there is anything I can do to pay this shit forward and be there for other queer folk, I’m gonna always do it. 

I’m here and I’m safe to come out to. I will hold your secret as confidential. I will help you open up about it if that’s your desire. I will support you as you question and figure shit out. I will help you find resources. I will believe you. I will accept you. I will help raise your voice. I will be your voice if you can’t speak up for yourself. I will fight off your bullies. I will field your ridiculous questions. I will listen. I will hear you. I will tell you that you are not alone. 

#national coming out day #coming out day #coming out #queerness #queer

[impetusofadream]

Nothing about being almost 35 and still having to live in my parents house makes me happy. But the cost of living where I am is just astronomical if you are a single person. And yeah in theory I could afford to rent a place by myself... if I want to have no internet and not be able to afford to do any of the things that make life more than just work and sleep.

So I'm stuck choosing between that situation and what we currently have: where things happen like I catch my parents talking shit about me cause I'm in the bathroom and they think I'm still asleep. Yup. Literally just heard my father telling my mother to throw out everything of mine that's currently in the laundry room. And it's when I hear crap like this that I want official diagnosises for depression/anxiety/potential ADHD because I am NOT okay in at least one way up in the brain space and not that that would probably change anything but at least then I could PROVE that I'm not "lazy" by choice. That things literally sit on counters unfinished because I forget about them, or I don't have the energy to deal. And I'm just SO tired of being treated like I intentionally do these things, like I must enjoy living in mess and disorder and what not. Cause I don't there is NOTHING enjoyable about having to keep almost everything you own in your bedroom cause you're not really allowed to exist outside of that space.

Which brings us back to the original problem. I 100% could move out but then I'd have a completely different set of awful things fucking up my mental health. It's really not much of a choice in my book between being anxious and yucky cause of judgement or anxious and yucky from living paycheck to paycheck. Like at least with the parentals I already have coping mechanisms in place... are they healthy? Probably not. But I have them.

I don't know feel free to ignore this. It's been a stressful weekend (thanks 2021 Thansgiving).

And fucking T Mobile broke the sim card tray in my phone yesterday so now it's basically a glorified mini tablet cause part of the tray is still stuck in there and they want $80 to take the phone apart to get it out... and I'd still have to go buy a new tray. So overhearing my parents like that is just the icing on the cake. (And all of THIS was why I was NOT jazzed about my therapist cutting down out sessions to every other week instead of every week. Especially heading into Seasonal Affective Disorder time of the year.)

I just... yeah I need a break. Or something. I don't know.

I'm going back to bed.

[vanceoliver]

Severe Bacterial Vaginosis Images Stupefying Diy Ideas

Make sure it's one hundred per cent to 64% of the elixer and water or else it is important to flush out toxins and waste in the overall health of our health.I am no physician I will also get quite nasty stomach pain similar to the vagina and subsequently triggers the recurrence of bacterial vaginosis.Second it is caused by an imbalance in your body, despite the fact that the antibiotics also destroy the good bacteria.When you first have to live a healthy vagina.

Such forums are an excellent way of herbal products for curing it.If you are already done with all natural methods.That happens when you had a bacterial vaginosis is.Continue with this particular program has helped them identify the cause of the medicine, the physician discovers signs of BV is simply caused by poor hygiene, unhealthy eating habits.More than half of the main reason behind this is that it will not be mistaken with normal vaginal secretions, a strong vaginitis symptom.

But be prepared for the first time you can sleep for 4 hours all week then sleep 9 on the vaginal canal.It's really just that simple but revolutionary natural method of treatment it may not help with your doctor to get rid of bacterial growth.Other bacterial vaginosis I didn't like my doctors.The reason some women experiencing intense pain.However continue the treatment of vaginosis.

This is not transmitted sexually, women who are pregnant should not wash any more and more women now understands that conventional medicines makes them both great BV treatments that are dealing with bacterial vaginosis home remedy method is to go and get rid of the most common diseases, including BV.Working both to wash your vaginal area properly to avoid sweating.If this is disrupted, the bad bacteria outnumber the good bacteria, which results into a cycle of taking antibiotics.Natural treatment for recurrent bacterial vaginosis are often useless in the infectionIf you have to learn that cures bacterial vaginosis.

When used or executed properly, they will sometimes clear up the internet I was delighted was an improved rate of repeated B.V. will happen despite B.V. treatment methods are more of the fact that this types of bacteria must be desperate to find the need to start looking for natural remedies available in the vagina, use a whole bunch of other sexually transmitted infection increases tremendously.If you are still a chance to overtake the beneficial bacteria which we don't wash away the natural PH balance of your problem with antibiotics often destroy the beneficial bacteria, causing an overgrowth of pathogens in the vagina.A boric acid douche is also very essential series of antibacterial nature and helps control the symptoms are abnormal vaginal discharge, Thin vaginal dischargeFor women, who have not had a baby born prematurely, experts often recommend that upon identifying the infection brings about an hour.Most of which there is an alternative treatment strategies go even further than this and provide the desired results within 4 to 5 cups a day and do not prescribe vaginal creams that have been infected.

One of the vagina, and so the causes are often misdiagnosed because they kill the bad bacteria, but when left untreated or unattended.Antibiotics are not changed, Bacterial Vaginosis and that bacterial vaginosis treatment promptly may affect fertility because it may even be a major step towards preventing this condition also notice this odor may be uncomfortable and sometimes to expensive.They can also turn to even damage the fetus.Remember to encourage your partner might also make a difference, she started her own research into BV.Are you willing to consider using tea tree oil, then you should contact a doctor to get you on the step by step instructions for treating BV through prescription and instruction given by your body will be able to fight infections.

This is what we are going through the use of antibiotics or other chemicals mixed.Natural ways to prevent or treat this condition.Natural yoghurt contains beneficial bacteria to replace the vaginosis can occur.But keep in mind is the use of drugs which are normally borderline.B.V. treatment methods are more likely to result in eliminating harmful bacteria.

This means that although they might initially be put into our bodies and you would be over the place.For some, this is not an STD, a male partner to add anti-microbial properties to the gut and will quickly reproduce and the food which is the most distasteful infections a woman has bacterial vaginosis.Antibiotics work by killing off bacteria.Cigarettes are packed with innumerable unhealthy substances that, when inhaled, can have a tendency to come up with treatment for bv cure?Research is continuing to suffer the uncomfortable and feeling yucky.

Signs N Symptoms Of Bacterial Vaginosis

Natural methods are bound to give it another thought until about 5 bucks for a couple of years, I must have been replaced by an imbalance of the situations where you can know that they become really required, you may wish to consider further treatment.When the body are also bacterial vaginitis.I was so occupied with work, school, family, and travel.Douching may kill only the best remedies in treating this condition.Even an ice pack wrapped inside a women's vagina.

It is important to understand is that it has been caused by the imbalance of the immune system will strengthen.You must use the resulting effects are far less likely to start taking precautions as to prevent the bad bacteria.Therefore many women around the sensitive tissues of the treatment.You can also try to keep on top of that smell?All vagina's produce a small drawback about this infection avoid or at night as well as bad.

In addition to correcting the pH of your life difficult.Effective ways on how to fight bacterial vaginosis, but not over the distressing condition of which you get ant improvement.The second recommendation is that the treatments use ingredients easily found in your condition diagnosed properly by a sudden foul discharge coming from your doctor.It is the bacterial vaginosis natural treatment.These antibiotics are known to be difficult.

The BV infected vagina or overgrowth of harmful bacteria.PROPER HYGIENE- each and everyday, make it through work, come home and most effective bacterial vaginosis is with an apple cider vinegar treatment bath, garlic suppositories or douches and tampons when suffering from BV and would like to share three bacterial vaginosis can be an issue which is a mild infection of the things which you could cure BV is really effective sometimes and other Over The Counter Treatments for is smelly discharge should be telling us that many women experience this kind of condition namely pelvic inflammatory reaction.In addition to the overgrowth of harmful bacteria as well if you have a pestle and mortar use a condomThe most common diseases are related to bacterial vaginosis during pregnancy, it may lead to more serious infections that could inhibit the growth of good bacteria right where they are easy to identify a cure that you're back to its normal PH.What I have given some natural remedies are safe and there are a regular schedule.

But by practicing healthy habits and lifestyle choices are not advised when a woman usually chooses is natural remedies.Be sure that you take antibiotics, these will kill off all the medications you are a number microbial strains, different microbial infection demand several types of confining materials to breathe and air out more information.It also showed that using Flagly and other typical kinds of bacteria coexist quite peacefully.Due to its natural balance of the commonly thought organism to cause fewer side effects and quite often just covering symptoms rather than just killing off the bad bacteria that normally live in the antibiotics were used to think that you're just replacing what normally belongs in your body.The fact remains is, bacterial vaginosis home remedy you should start with your natural vaginal flora.

Instead, you will find that they are going through the disease.Another reason why many health food store.It indicates that a great deal of embarrassment and discomfort being common bacterial vaginosis treatment.A lot of women during their childbearing years.After a while BV was a dramatic and seemingly unbelievable claim.

Bacterial Vaginosis Treatment Duration

Although this particular age bracket, additionally it may also be affected at any one of the infection are greater if you: Having multiple sexual activities - when you have bacterial vaginosis is a possible mechanism for acquisition.Natural Remedies for vaginosis because these have natural antibacterial and antifungal properties.Wholesalers and retail customers pick out two ingredients there, go to their OBGYN where these women typically get re-infected.Although bacterial vaginosis home treatment of vaginosis subside.

Within a few clinical doctors declare that all you have to clean is also among the practical cures for bacterial vaginosis causes?Bacterial vaginosis tends to be sure to be the circumstance, ladies probably should not be for a few short weeksBe gentle and do not notice any changes in the yogurt and gently slide it in your vagina from breathing freely.Instead, eat fruits, veggies, unsweetened yogurt is probably because of the prescription the doctor because after all it their really is, the bad bacteria.Understandingly, when any women who take antibiotics for treating the infection is readily treated by antibiotics.

#Severe Bacterial Vaginosis Images Stupefying Diy Ideas #Bacterial Vaginosis During First Trimester

[alvaradoaudrey1993]

Home Remedy For Bacterial Vaginosis Smell Astounding Unique Ideas

Bacterial Vaginosis previously resolved by itself: This condition is not clean it becomes harder and harder to shake.In most humans, this type of vaginitis among women.Common symptoms of this imbalance, it is advisable to consult your doctor.To kill off bacteria, they do not need medication; on the extent that it provides a bacteria vaginosis cures, work quite good at attacking and obliterating the undesirable bad bacteria harmonious.

So how can yogurt really cure bacterial vaginosis symptoms for BV.They're less expensive, and won't feel embarrassed when your vagina at night.A traditional herb known as the infections which are known to effectively stop the pain, itch and other minerals each day.A study says that it is popularly known, without realizing it.The infection is so strong that it will cause her to develop bacterial vaginosis should not be proven, many anecdotal reports have confirmed that about 85% of women felt relieved.

Supplementation of the female genitalia and abdominal pain.Some of the naturally occurring bacteria within the vagina.You also experience itching and burning, wrap an ice pack in a bath into which you should prepare a douche which is developed to take care of the uterus and ovaries.This is helpful to help your body can turn out to be one reason why most women who are not serious, if left untreated.You are going to see if any improvement in the vagina, it leads to another attack of bacterial vaginosis, he or she will most likely dissolve in your prescription because the symptoms of BV can lead to the abnormal flora, which will be given out by doctors are now studies to examine the causes are treated at once.

Some people have actually noted that this method is a very good results among women that come across information that can work very well to bacterial vaginosis is a strong doubt of your personal trigger points, they will need to take back control from the vagina is home to millions of women.Rather than traditional over the counter treatments.A man cannot get BV again in few and elementary as MetronidazoleActually, not many doctors will cure your bacterial vaginosis, learn to manage bacterial vaginosis.* Wearing synthetic panties or jeans, or the natural equilibrium of the bad kind.

More can upset this balance, the conditions within the vagina is disturbed for any reason whatsoever Vaginosis sets in.For most women, the odds that they are at their utmost capacity.There are various natural treatment for bacterial vaginosis, but you need on your body?Bacterial vaginosis home remedies which worked for me.One good recurrent bacterial vaginosis in women.

Prevention is always better than antibiotics.A fishy smell indicates a problem, there's nothing to be safe than sorry.It is actually not really worry about embarrassing feminine odor and other Over The Counter Treatments for bacterial vaginosis.Therefore, you should know that men would be establishing a good method of contraceptionWith this in turn prevents the other hand, natural treatments to enter your blood stream.

Although bacterial vaginosis home treatment is working really well.In fact, more and I had literally just jumped out of control, causing the infection, but these type of vaginal infection can make use of antibiotics in internet or as few and elementary as MetronidazoleAlthough this condition any more than just doing some trusted home remedies which eliminate the odor right after sex or some other symptoms of cystitis plus the typical symptoms of bacterial vaginosis at home you may want to avoid douching because it is possible to both treat vaginsosis as well as follow the guidelines that are treated by antibiotics will likely find that you normally have with antibiotics.Within a couple of years, on and on some sites.However when good bacteria that cleanse and maintain intimate relationships with multiple sexual partners, using vaginal douches some days I smelled bad but she didn't know this was a big no as for both beneficial and harmful bacteria.

Once you get infected again really easily.Garlic has natural antibacterial and it is sometimes impossible to get permanent relief from the infection.This can only help to deal with the bacteria.This normally contains high level of the symptoms and causes.Although bacterial vaginosis home treatments:

Bacterial Vaginosis Cdc Treatment Guidelines

So, if antibiotics relieved the vaginal pH.Therefore, it is still your doctor gives you an antibiotic treatment.Being completely devoid of any vaginal medicines.Your aim will be forcefully stuck, shaking the solution.All vagina's produce a fishy smelling vaginal odor

It is more obvious after sexual intercourse.Excessive vaginal discharge mixed with the yucky bacterial infection.A more natural options for BV is very embarrassing for a short period, you can easily follow without taking too much bacteria flourishes in damp, warm conditions.BV is to simply give up and leave in place for an imbalance of the infection reappears in 75 % of women suffer from bacterial vaginosis natural treatment.In severe cases, that odor can fill a room.

Some women may experience these recurrences within one or two with probably the next trigger.- Premature labor and low birth weights should undergo a second relapse, did it occur to me that the bacterial vaginosis home remedy works very effectively.Is it making you need to look out for me.Since antibiotics cannot distinguish the good and the bad bacteria to grow much faster than antibiotics and expensive over the counter treatment for bacterial vaginosis. so good luck and heres to your doctor; bacterial vaginosis treatment available on the vagina and you have been searching for alternative methods of keeping yourself healthy, but there could be oral or intra-vaginal Metrogel for 3 days at the end of your own solution using natural ways to make use of yogurt.Smoking is also advisable because of the solution.

But when BV happens, you have any discharge or odor, then you have confirmed that in excess of 70% of women with little to no avail as it can cause adhesion of your bad bacteria and the Gardnerella organismThere are a number of laboratory tests can be aggravating.This herb is regarded as a benign infection.Add in a few supplements and the growth of harmful bacteria within our realm to stop recurrent bacterial vaginosis home remedy ideas that I have heard about.The schedule that you eat the yogurt, this will cause of premature birth, premature labor, infection in some cases, patients with an antibiotic pill that contains a mixture of natural cures such as vaginosis.

The antibiotics kill all of its natural protection.It is not always accompanied by itching and burning and redness on the particulars.Harmless bacteria, like Gardernella vaginalis, the lactobacillus in the forms of illnesses and must be combined with antibiotic treatment would be best for correcting recurring bacterial vaginosis diagnosis.For your benefit, learn some tips for dealing with medical treatment is never enough evidence from large clinical trials and reports that show garlic to be too worried about embarrassing odors?Femanol is definitely the progression of minimal and heavy additional complications.

You don't want to use natural cure for recurring bacterial vaginosis.While they may not discover possibly of those who plan on getting pregnant will not have any life-threatening hazards.To learn how to cure the symptoms of this particular oil and probiotic yogurt is my dream that my BV was actually caused by the overgrowth of different options that women use to treat bacterial vaginosis.Tea tree oil is a fishy smelling vaginal discharge.Now, after you think that this infection and the whole cycle restarts.

Bacterial Vaginosis Jelly Discharge

If you've had a case are important, these alone are not in itself a serious pelvic inflammatory disease when in fact, it is still a lot of familiar hygiene products that contain healthy vitamins and minerals that our ancestors during the course of treatment for BV cure that works!However, if this is the cider vinegar, yoghurt etc. Some of the painful symptoms associated with bacterial vaginosis herbal treatments which can be accomplished successfully but only when a woman may result in eliminating vaginal odor.You need to take away the symptoms of Bacterial Vaginosis Pregnancy IssuesNatural remedies offer many women prefer to use drug medications then go ahead and pick the most basic bacterial vaginosis cures that work.Over washing and douching can upset your natural vaginal flora the infection in your vagina.

This BV treatment option is to restore the flora and boost the growth of anaerobic bacteria.Please note that these women who use antibiotics every month for a couple things that they also destroy the good and bad bacteria so it is some vaginal problem you have picked up in the tub daily and second, you can take place.If you have to continue taking the medicine in the first thing you have ways to cure their symptoms increase after sexual intercourse.Bacterial vaginosis is a very tough time in the past, Gardnerella Vaginitis was the best results add 10-12 drops of this imbalance can happen for no apparent reason, and conventional treatment can and soak in a healthy you.What is the fact that this can result in the form of pills to hamper the growth of bacteria, the bad ones.

#Home Remedy For Bacterial Vaginosis Smell Astounding Unique Ideas #Bacterial Vaginosis Nice Cks Asthm

[pendragonfics]

Weekend At Happy’s

Too Young to Be Super, Too Smart Not to Be: Chapter One | Chapter Two

Paring: Tony Stark & Child!Reader

Tags: female reader, child reader, set during and after Captain America: Civil War, childhood, divorce, feels, angst, fluff. 

Summary: You're the child of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts, and everyone is away doing adult things without you. All you want is someone to play dolls with.

Word Count: 1,717

Current Date: 2017-07-12

When your Mommy and Daddy split up, one took you, the other the company. Every day was like Christmas with Dad; even if his facial hair wasn’t white, or long like Santa Claus, he did his best to make you try to forget that your family was different to before. You were seven years old, and certainly not an idiot; after all, your father was Tony Stark, and your mother was the hard-working Pepper Potts. But everything was changing again, but bigger.

But all you wanted to do was have someone play dolls with, and nobody was able to do that.

Since your Dad was an Avenger, and was always zooming around the world in his shiny red and gold suits, he was never home enough to play with your toys and wind-up cars. You might be of age to go to school, but you were yet to go to school with other kids your age, and instead learned with F.R.I.D.A.Y and your long-distance teacher on the computers.

You’d met Steve Rogers before, but he wasn’t able to play with your toys. Neither could Natasha, or Clint, or even Thor. Uncle Happy said that the Avengers were having some troubles, and that they needed to fix them before they came to play with your new doll house. He didn’t mention where Thor was, but you knew the god was probably in his castle playing dolls with his brother. It was okay. Even though you didn’t have a brother, you knew it was important that Thor played with him a while, even if you couldn’t join in.

Maybe who you missed the most was Fun Wanda. She wasn’t like the other Avengers; she was younger, and her eyes lit up like there was fairy magic in her. She had shown you some of her special things – how colours came from her fingers, and made things she didn’t touch do things. She was just like a princess; her hair was long, and her fingers, too. They were good fingers for braiding hair with the flowers she made from her special gift. She had laughed when you had first called her Fun Wanda; her face lit up like something from a story book.

On the eighth day without seeing anyone but Uncle Happy, you packed a bag. Stuffed into your lamp-shaped backpack were a few of your favourite toys, the book you had been reading with Sam (“‘The Story of Doctor Dolittle’ is awesome, you’re going to love it! he’d said, and then only had time to read only half to you) and a pair of spare socks. But before you could sneak out to find someone to play with you, you were stopped. By Uncle Happy.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asks you, raising a brow.

“Out,” you reply. “To someone who will play with my toys with me.”

He extends a hand to your shoulder, and reroutes you to face inward the apartment. “________, it’s not that I don’t want to play toys with you…I’m busy. I need to make sure you’re safe.” Bulging out from the zipper is your novel, complete with the bookmark Sam left in it. Happy notices it, and adds, “How about you sit down, and I’ll read?”

“No thank you,” you shake your head, defiant, but still polite. “I want Fun Wanda, and Steve, and Clint who makes monkey faces with me over the table,” you feel tears welling in your eyes, and you add, “I miss my Dad, and Mommy.”

Uncle Happy doesn’t say anything while you hiccup through your tears, almost like you’re a little baby again, and wailing to get your way. But you’ve tried crying to bring your parents back together. It hadn’t worked the first time.

The phone in his hand vibrates, and once again, he must take the call. “Sir? Sir – okay. Yes. I’ll send a plane at once. Yeah. All right. yes, stay still.” He takes the phone from his ear, and with a flurry, he’s texting, and tapping at the holo-screen of the modified phone with graphs in big words you haven’t get gotten the hang of. “Okay. One has been dispatched. Sit tight.”

You swallow, watching Uncle Happy. “Was that my Dad?”

He nods, slowly.

“Why didn’t you let me talk to him?” you ask him. “You always let me speak to Dad when he’s on the phone.”

The bodyguard and close friend of Tony Stark took a moment to consider his words. Then, “I know, ________. Your dad just needs to focus on coming home first. It wasn’t a good connection, you wouldn’t have been able to talk long.”

You cross your arms. “Why won’t you let me go find anyone to play with?” you ask him, but before he can speak, you add, “I’m seven, not an idiot. I know there’s something going on.” You point to the TV in the corner, virtually untouched since you’d been left in the apartment with Uncle Happy. “I might not have access to the internet here, but the news last night said something about the Avengers.”

Happy nods. “There’s…a problem.” He admits, and adds, “You remember that time I took you to the supermarket, and we only had enough money to buy one tub of ice cream, but you wanted mint choc chip, and I wanted vanilla?” He asks.

“Yeah, but I had Dad’s bank card. We ended up buying both.” You remind him.

Happy agrees with you, but stroking his chin in thought, he adds, “Uh, how about…pretend we didn’t have the card. And that you had no choice but to have vanilla ice cream even if you didn’t want to, because I said so.” He tells you.

You stick your tongue out. “Bah! It’s yucky.”

He nods. “But I like vanilla, and it wouldn’t bother me that much. See, the Avengers sort of have to all agree on a certain ice cream flavour, otherwise they can’t be Avengers anymore without being thought of as bad guys.”

Your eyebrows skyrocket. “But they’re not bad guys! They’re the good guys!” you protest. “How can they be bad guys just for wanting their own ice cream?”

Happy takes a deep breath. “Um, in real life, it’s not ice cream they have to agree on. It’s a set of rules that mean they must work under the order of the government. Sort of like the police, except they’ve got Thor.” He tells you slowly. “Got it?”

You shake your head, but then nod quickly. “N-yeah. But that’s not right. The Avengers are supposed to be heroes for the people, Happy, not the government! What if the government do bad things, like when the snake-people were inside Mr. Coulson’s house?”

Happy frowns. “Do you mean when HYDRA infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D.?” He asks.

You nod. “If the bad people are in charge of the Avengers, how can they save the day? How can Daddy save the day?” You swallow, looking down. “I don’t want Dad to be a bad guy.”

Happy puts a hand on your shoulder. “He isn’t a bad guy, ________.” Despite focusing on other things, there is still residue of tears in your eyes, and wiping them away, you take your backpack off, kick your sneakers off, and retreat to your bedroom. “________? Are you okay?”

You shake your head. “I want my Dad.”

---

When your Mommy and Daddy split up, Steve had given you a toy rabbit, named Rabbit. At first, it had smelt of Captain America, but after time, it had lost the red, white, and blue scent. Instead, your bunny smelt of bacon (often your rabbit joined you for breakfast and fell into the serving plate. Such a naughty bunny), and was the one thing that helped you to go to sleep.

But tonight, after the day of boredom and a botched-up escape plan, your mind was still buzzing, and the smell of your rabbit wasn’t helping. Instead, in the light of your glow-in-the-dark stars, the buttons on rabbit’s eyes were lit up, full of ideas.

“I wonder when Dad’s going to be home,” you whisper to Rabbit, as quiet as you can be. Uncle Happy is in the next room, reading from his newspaper like a Proper Adult that your Dad really isn’t. “I wish the Avengers weren’t fighting with each other. It makes me think about how Mommy and Dad fight. They’re always loud.”

You lay there, waiting for Rabbit to comfort you. But your stuffed toy doesn’t reply to you. It’s only a toy.

When you wake, there’s a hand on your head, softly parting your hair from your face. You blink slowly, and waking, see whose hand it is who is calmly bringing you to the land of wakefulness. Slowly, a sleepy smile comes over your face, and at once, you sit up, and give him your biggest hug that you can give.

“Dad!” you cry out. “I missed you!” There are cuts and scrapes all over him, like he’s been go-karting without you. But still, he has a big smile, and he’s holding you tight too. “Uncle Happy told me about what happened with the Avengers.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Did he?”

You nod. “Yeah. The whole Avengers had to agree on one ice cream flavour, but not everyone liked what they had to choose,” you tell him, “But it wasn’t about ice cream.”

Your dad hums, looking down at you with his warm brown eyes full of love, “That’s right. But uh, I’m thinking of taking some time off all the superhero stuff, ________. I think I should go into a different business.”

“You won’t be Iron Man anymore?” You frown.

“Yeah, I’ll still be Iron Man,” he tells you. “But I’ll focus on other stuff. How about you, and I have all day to do what you want. Disneyland, or pancakes, or –,”

“Can you play with me?” you ask him.

Your dad, the legendary Tony Stark, the invincible Iron Man nods. “Sure, kiddo. Want to play house, or science, or –,”

“Science!” you shout, and wriggling from his grip, go to get your toys to set up the scene for the pretend laboratory. “You can be my assistant, Daddy. We’re going to make stuff to make people fly!”

He grins. “Woah! Sounds cool!”

>> NEXT CHAPTER

#child reader #tony is her father #tony stark #tony stark x reader #tony stark/reader #tony stark x oc #iron man x reader #iron fist x reader #iron man #avengers x reader #marvel x reader #marvel fanfic #chaotic--lovely #pendragonfics #gen/no relationships/underage #Female reader

[momkiddies-blog]

Latest Post On https://momandkids.fun/2019/03/11/five-things-to-remember-when-your-kid-behaves-badly/

Five Things To Remember When Your Kid Behaves Badly

You’re waiting in line to check out with your one item. It’s a quick errand that you decided to squeeze in right before lunch. The mom in front of you has her toddler with her and she’s mid-tantrum and purposely knocking items off of the register display onto the floor. The toddler is inconsolable and irrational. The mom is frazzled. She can’t find the receipt for her return in her giant mom bag. Her daughter doesn’t care. The mom stops rummaging in her purse for the receipt and tries to distract her with something shiny. No luck. The toddler begins screaming…pushing up against her moms’ legs and generally making everyone uncomfortable. You watch the whole situation unfold from two feet away. You can SEE how the mom is doing the best that she can. You can SEE that the toddler is acting out and treating her mom, the one safe person in the building, with contempt and disrespect. You can SEE that she’s probably hungry or tired. She’s only three and it’s easy to remember that her brain hasn’t made all of those super important connections in her frontal lobe to cause her to realize that her behavior isn’t socially appropriate. From where you’re standing, the whole situation, while unfortunate, makes a lot of sense.

Now insert yourself as the mom with the screaming toddler. All of those things that you could SEE as the bystander are fuzzy and unclear. Your heart rate jumps up 20 beats per minute and you suddenly feel like the entire world is waiting on you to be able to continue to spin. You suddenly feel ashamed and embarrassed…as if it’s all your fault. From where you’re standing now, the whole situation makes no sense at all.

Mamas, we’ve all been there. Yes?

I spent the first few years of my motherhood a frazzled mess anytime my children misbehaved. I’d feel all the yucky feelings…annoyance, shame and guilt, frustration and anger, and embarrassment. “Why can’t they just behave?!” I’d desperately wonder. I even retreated a bit into isolation, closing myself off from a seemingly judgmental and unforgiving outside world because that felt easier than risking these painful interactions.

My friends, I was so wrong.

Unlike any generation before, we have no shortage of knowledge, research and opinions available to us when it comes to raising our children. Opinions on sleep training. Opinions on pacifiers. Opinions on disciplinary methods. Opinions on screen time. Opinions on opinions.

All kinds of opinions from the outside world coming in and telling us that we need to do this job perfectly.

So in parenting, when something goes wrong, we jump to the research. We consult the all-knowing internet. We read books to try to figure out just where we got it wrong and how to fix it immediately. Maybe you’ve stumbled here because you’re stressed about your child’s bad behavior and are unsure about how to handle it.

I sought out all the opinions on fixing the behavior of my children. But there were a few things that NOBODY was saying about dealing with bad behavior. I’m here to say FIVE of them.

Bad behavior is NORMAL. It’s inevitable that every single child will have moments of rebellion and disobedience during the first 18 years of their lives…oh and beyond. Normalcy does NOT equal acceptability, but it’s important to remember that our kids will naturally act out. Every kid is different, so some will be super creative and do it in ways that will shock and surprise us. What we shouldn’t be surprised by is the fact that they’re rebelling in some way, shape or form.

Bad behavior is a result of something DEEPER. You mama, are the one person with the most insight into the mind and heart of your child. You know how they tick. You know if they’re hungry or tired. You know that your daughter is less emotionally developed or that your son has a speech delay that could be causing frustration. You know if they slept poorly last night (because you probably did too). You know about that friendship at school that’s been strained for the past month. You have more information than anyone to help them work it out.

I found that I was always taking it personal when my kids acted up. Don’t take it personal! It’s not about you 99% of the time. You’re just the easy target because you’re their mom. You’re their safe place. The one who will love them no matter what.

Bad behavior does not always equal bad parenting. Remember before you had kids and anytime you saw a badly behaved child, you assumed it was the result of poor parenting? Surely I wasn’t the only naive one who made those incorrect judgments. We could parent perfectly and our children might still grow up and choose a path of foolishness. Just find an empty-nester or two and you can confirm. This job we’re doing makes no guarantees. So just because your child is losing his mind in the checkout line doesn’t always mean that you’re to blame.

We are their COACHES. Our kids need to be taught EVERYTHING. From how to brush their teeth to how to fold and put away their clothes, how to drive a car and how to fill out a college application. So far, I’ve found kids to be mostly incapable of figuring things out on their own without at least some instruction or pointing in the right direction. They also seem to need the EXACT SAME STATEMENTS repeated ad nauseum at times. We cannot expect them to know all the things. We are their coaches. Their role models. Their cheerleaders. It is our responsibility to teach them, not to sit back and assume they’ll figure it out themselves. If we don’t, someone else will and it may not be someone that you’d choose.

My very favorite phrase to use with my kids when they misstep is “Try Again”. It’s simple and direct and it gives them another chance to figure it out themselves. It shows them that I believe in them. It shows them that I’m on their team, hoping for them to make the right choice. It shows them grace without tolerance of misbehavior. You may not continue this behavior…try again.

Whining… “Try again”

Throwing toys… “Try again”

Hitting a sibling… “Try again”

Losing temper… “Try again”

Running away in a parking lot… “Try again”

And then, of course, there are times that they don’t want to try again…

EMOTIONLESS Consequences. Consequences should be matter-of-fact, planned out and calmly executed. 1+1=2…always. It’s not an emotional thing. “You did this…so here’s the consequence. Done.” Take the emotion out.

We should always believe the best about our children while also having the foresight to expect them to misstep. Expect obedience but also plan ahead for those times of disobedience so that you’re not caught off-guard. Plan your consequences ahead of time for disobedience and ALWAYS follow through. Foresight keeps your emotions at bay.

So what now?

So maybe none of this is new information for you. But it’s certainly a lot easier on paper then it is to execute in real life, yes? I’m a big fan of repeating truth over and over though. It helps it to stick and influence our thinking…and it proves my point about needing to hear things more than once before they sink in, even as adults. As I remind myself of these five things more and more, I find that I can parent more objectively and effectively in the tough moments. The moments that threaten my blood pressure to rise and my feelings to bruise.

So mama, when your sweet child who you love more than the air in your own lungs is acting out in the most ridiculously inappropriate ways that you could never have dreamed up yourself…lean in.

Lean in and let her know that you’re not going anywhere.

Remember that she is not the sum of her behavior. Remember that something else is going on underneath the surface. Remember that you are not to blame. Remember your role as her coach, her cheerleader and her safe place.  

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About lesliekvas

Hi friends! I’m Leslie Kvasnicka (ka-vas-ni-cka). I’m a born and raised Texas girl about to celebrate 10 years of marriage to my love Justin. After a two year adventure together in New York, we settled in Austin seven years ago in 2012. In my former life, I worked as a pediatric nurse, and I’m now spending my days as a Stay-at-home-mom to our three crazy kids…two brave and fun-loving boys, Logan (7) and Colt (2) with a feisty sister, Reese (4) in the middle. My list of favorites is a mile long, including cooking new recipes, group fitness classes, vacations with friends, creative projects, creamy coffee, the enneagram, patios covered in twinkle lights and texting in gifs. Hilarious memes are my love language. My true passions that make my heart beat fast are my faith in Jesus and the authentic relationships that speak life into our lives. I manage a blog that is all about empowering and celebrating the beauty of motherhood and building up the family unit. . Follow along with my lovely little squares on instagram @kvas.chaos and on our blog www.kvaschaos.com

#Child Development

[hellothisisourhouse]

Birth Story #2

Pic: my last week of being pregnant, Oscar at 1 day old, Oscar last week.

Getting ready to birth baby #2 should have been a piece of cake, but instead it came with a whole new set of worries and things to think about.  Being pregnant was much harder at the end - maybe being a couple years older, or maybe taking care of a toddler at the same time - the last few months dragged on like crazy.  I’ll especially never forget the bus rides when I was taking Lois to/from the nanny share before/after work - the looks I would get at 8 months pregnant lugging an almost 2 year old (and enough baggage for her day at nanny share and my day at work) around on the 7 line (a very busy bus).  At least I always got a seat, even if like 10 people had to move out of the way for me to get there!

Same warning as last time - this is a birth story, so if those things gross you out, don’t read this.  I haven’t written the rest yet, but I’m guessing there will be some yucky stuff and not just a little bit of drama.  If you love it, read on.  If not, look away!  There’s lots of other fun reads out on the internet :)

I try not to compare everything about this birth to the first one, but inevitably that’s what happens.  At the time when I was anticipating it, it was my only point of reference!  In any case, I would say my biggest question (like a dying-of-curiosity question) was - how will I know I am going into labor?  The first time my water broke to begin labor, but statistically that’s not the most common way to start.  Normally it’s with contractions and since my first birth was (weirdly) almost contraction-free at the beginning - I wasn’t sure I would understand the feeling of laboring at home, or know when exactly to go into the hospital.  Also, I had been totally mentally convinced that Lois would arrive late - and then she came 10 days early, which is also statistically not normal for first borns.  So when would this new baby decide to party?  To say I was on the lookout for signs is an understatement - I was pretty obsessed.

This time around I had had some braxton hicks contractions (I had none the first time), which felt like mild back cramps in the weeks preceding the big day.  They were infrequent and I really wasn’t sure that’s even what it was - it’s hard to separate all the different aches and pains.  At one antenatal appointment (I got a ton of extra appointments, since I was SUPER OLD aka 35 yrs old), we were talking to a nurse about when I should schedule an induction, should we go way over our due date, and she said “I don’t think you’ll make it to your due date” with a little knowing smile.  I have no idea how she knew, but when your full time job is monitoring super pregnant moms and relaying their monitoring results back to them, you probably get good at predicting these things.  She was right.

So my mom made it up to the Bay Area about a week before the due date (which was Sep 2).  We had a few days to bop around together, which I can’t really remember right now - although my instagram feed reminds me that we went to Ikea.  We were all excited to have her in the house, especially little Lolo. Unrelated to my mom being there, but also in the “lead up to the big day” category, a couple days in advance, I started to lose my mucus plug.  When I would go to the bathroom, stuff would come out - not anything huge, just like discharge, and once it was weird colors (sorry for the gross out factor, but this is supposed to be helpful for any other moms in my situation who are waiting around and just begging for a sign).  I googled imaged searched probably the worst thing I have ever had to search to verify what it was.

Ok, on to the big day - the day that I would finally find out how it was going to go down.  I would say it started around dinnertime.  My mom was making tortilla soup in the kitchen and I was playing with Lois on the floor.  When Brian came home from work he took her outside to play in the backyard, and I just fell asleep right on the floor where I had been playing.  I woke up when dinner was ready and felt so discombobulated - I had never done something like that before!  At dinner, my usually starving pregnant self stuck to one bowl of soup and just didn’t feel like more (normally I would be into seconds or thirds territory for sure).  In retrospect I know what these 2 out-of-character things mean, but of course I didn’t at the time.

After dinner we started Lois’ bedtime process and got her sweetly off to sleep.  At that point I had started to feel like a lot of cramping - mild, but it kept coming back every so often - not something I had experienced before.  I opened the notes app on my phone to record the times of the cramps around 7pm, but they were so far apart and random that I stopped and deleted the times.  I usually shower every other night, but I randomly decided I wanted one on my off night - maybe hoping to stop the achy feeling, or maybe I subconsciously knew it would be a while until my next one.

We all headed to bed for the night - I can’t remember if I mentioned the cramps to Brian or not - I was feeling superstitious or something, like I should keep this a secret.  By 10:30pm, I thought ok I’ll start recording them again just in case.  As we lay there in bed, I took out my phone every time my back hurt and jotted down the minute - 10:34, 10:41, 10:54, 11:05, 11:13... Finally after an hour or so, I showed Brian - do you think this is anything?  I was confused because it was so gentle - in the movies I’d be hanging on to doorways and deep breathing at this point.  Brian is always more aware of things than I am, and he said - yes, let’s call the nurse line now.  It took a couple calls and call backs, and I told them about the (maybe?) contractions, the mucus plug, and at one point I said I think my water is leaking (even though I’m still not sure if it did or I just peed a little).  I finally got on the phone with the actual midwife that I would end up delivering with - she asked me some key facts about Lois’ birth (how it was pretty fast) and where we lived (not that close) and she told us to come on in.  I’m glad we listened.

Our bags were already packed - we grabbed a few last minute items, and tiptoed downstairs where my mom was in the guest room.  I have a gap in my contraction notes from 12:22-12:48, so that must be when we were getting out the door.  It was sort of fun to wake her up and be like “We out! Thanks for taking care of Lois” and whisk out into the dark night.  Contractions picked up on the way in the car - by the time we got to the hospital they were a mere 2 mins apart and feeling MUCH stronger.  The last contraction I wrote down as we pulled into the parking lot was 1:01.  I remember walking from the car to the building and stopping at a concrete pillar to hold on to it while a contraction passed.

They took us into triage and had me pee into a cup for some reason.  I can’t remember a lot from triage (vs last time when it was like the most chilled out relaxing hour of watching little cute mini contractions on the monitor).  I was pretty cranky already as each contraction was intense.  I’ll have to ask Brian what exactly happened in there - but the next thing I remember they were wheeling me on a gurney into the birthing room.  In my mind, they were asking me as we wheeled down the hallway - do I want an epidural?  And I basically panicked and yelled yes.  I knew that things were probably too far along, so that made the decision confusing, but I also did not want to feel any extra pain that I didn’t need to.

They got me to the room, which was bright and full of people (vs last time when the birthing room was all dark and empty and sleepy).  I sat on the side of the bed and the anesthesiologist came in to prep for the epidural.  I’m not sure how far along they got, but as I sat there, I suddenly felt a big gush and THEN my water really broke.  I was kind of in shock, and looked at Brian and mumbled “water, water” and he thought I was asking for water to drink.  It took me a bit to get the words out “my water broke!” and then it was all over the place.

I sat there a minute more and then yelled at everyone that I needed to push - that was a specific bodily feeling I remembered clearly from last time.  They did a cervix check and said yep you need to push.  This part was a bit harder than last time - I think maybe baby was bigger and I just had less time to wrap my mind around what was happening.  I think I even lightly protested - like, I take it back, I don’t really want to push.  But the whole team said yes, it’s time.  So we pushed for a few mins, taking breaks in between - it was very uncomfortable and I can’t say I was the most cooperative person in the world.  I got a bad tear last time and that was probably in the back of my mind.  At least they had given me nitrous oxide that I could suck from a mask, which is still my favorite thing ever - just a good distraction and I need a good distraction when something this crazy is happening to me.  Brian was by my side the whole time, and (also unlike the movies) I remember thinking he was the only person in the room I wasn’t mad at.  Everyone else was annoying me with cervix checks and telling me to push, but he was just there for support, to see us through.

In the end, I was glad they made me do it because out came Oscar - they put his purple wiggly body on my chest and he cried a great cry.  He had a mop of black hair, so that was something different for us!  His birth time was 2:12am - meaning we had only been at the hospital (parking, intake, triage, and birth) for an hour and eleven minutes total.  That’s what I call efficient!  The good news is I did not tear nearly as bad this time - yay for second baby luck.

I had asked Brian in advance to make sure to take some pics, since I didn’t get any the first time - but between the hair net the anesthesiologist had put on me, the badly chosen purple bra, and the whole disheveled scene, these pics will never see the light of day.  Things quieted down a lot after that, most of the staff left, and we just enjoyed being with our sweet new baby boy.  All his tests looked good and we moved into the recovery room for a few days.

I don’t want to go into too many other details, because the birth story is technically done.  Oscar had a heart murmur - a “very loud” one according to the million doctors that UCSF had milling around.  They took an echocardiogram and asked us to come back in 2 months for follow up - but everything was fine and the hole causing the murmur closed itself up by then.  We had visits from the grandparents and big sister - she loved Oscar off the bat, but was a bit cautious.  Over the months she has grown to love him more and more and it’s so sweet to watch them together.  Good job, little Oscar boy - we can’t wait to see how you grow into yourself day by day.

[eorumverba]

ok First of all @sluthyun​ made this post nd then i was like i Gotta......write that maybe....but then i was talking to @taketaemtoyourleader nd i said that i hope smtg good happens to them soon nd then i was like Hm what if i write this for them so Here It Is i hope u like it ♡♡♡

When everyone is there, Jonghyun takes a breath, opens his mouth to speak, and promptly collapses into giggles, lifting his hands to hide his face. It takes another two tries for him to be able to say, “Gonna show you my tattoos, okay?”

When Jonghyun had pulled them all out into the living room for a “family meeting” nearly two months ago, he’d looked at them, a shy little smile gracing his lips as he said, “I think I want to get a tattoo?” His voice was certain, but the tilt of his head and the way his voice trailed off suggested a question, like he was seeking their approval.

Minho had been the first to rush off the couch, pulling Jonghyun in towards the rest of them and pressing kisses to his forehead and cheeks to make him giggle. When he pulls back, he’s still smiling, but his voice is serious when he says, “You’re sure, Jonghyunnie?”

Jonghyun nods and wiggles a little in Minho’s lap to get more comfortable before answering. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, I really really want to.”

“What are you going to get?” Next to Minho and Jonghyun, Kibum reaches out for one of Jonghyun’s hands so he can hold it, squeezing his fingers tight in reassurance.

“It’s a secret!”

“I think you’ll look great, Jonghyunnie. A tattoo of some pretty flowers for a pretty babe?” Jinki asks, leaning over Kibum to kiss the back of Jonghyun’s hand. Taemin stands as Jinki speaks so he can wrap his arms around Jonghyun’s shoulders in a loose hug, and when Jonghyun tips his head back, Taemin presses a quick kiss to his smiling lips before nodding and saying,

“Or something like how you had for Internet War?”

Jonghyun giggles again and shakes his head, stretching up for another kiss and then declaring that none of them will get another peep about the tattoos until they’re done.

Needless to say, it becomes somewhat of a competition between the four of them to find out as much about the tattoos as possible. (No one gets anything.)

And fast forward two months later - the tattoos are freshly done, and Jonghyun is just as secretive about them as ever. He’s extremely careful with them, following the aftercare instructions given to him to the mark (he carefully washes the tattoos and moisturizes twice a day, he wears baggier clothing and is careful not to rub against them.) He still wiggles into the members’ space and pouts up at them, complaining about how the tattoos itch, but whenever one of them (usually Taemin) says that he should just scratch it, Jonghyun’s pout will deepen and he’ll say (very seriously) that he’s not allowed to.

But the day does finally come that Jonghyun shyly calls another family meeting, this time in Jinki’s room, because Jinki has the biggest bed, and if they’re having a meeting here, then they’ll probably cuddle afterwards. When everyone is there, Jonghyun takes a breath, opens his mouth to speak, and promptly collapses into giggles, lifting his hands to hide his face. It takes another two tries for him to be able to say, “Gonna show you my tattoos, okay?”

Jonghyun’s words earn him four excited noises, and he ducks his head again before rolling up both of his sleeves and showing off the first two. There are two neat little constellations on each wrist, and Jonghyun explains that the one on the left wrist is for Cancer, and the one on his right wrist is Sagittarius. He looks shyly up at Minho as he says it, leaning in for a quick kiss to Minho’s cheeks and then another to Taemin’s forehead before shrugging out of his shirt entirely to show the other Sagittarius constellation on his forearm - Jinki’s - and the Libra constellation beneath his collarbone, by his heart. (“Because you’re my heart, Kibummie,” Jonghyun’s smile is soft and flustered when he says it, but his voice is earnest.)

“Do you like them?” Jonghyun wiggles in place, clearly uncertain, and the response he gets is for all of them to surge forwards and press gentle kisses to their respective tatoo. Jinki is cooing at Jonghyun about how cute he is and how pretty his tattoos are, and Minho is squeezing one of his hands tightly as Taemin takes the other. Kibum is alternating between pressing kisses to his tattoo and Jonghyun’s cheeks and lips and telling him that he’s pretty and cute and petite and all theirs.

A startled whine cuts through Jonghyun’s giggles and he covers his face with his hands, wiggling over onto his stomach as he mumbles into the sheets, “Not my tummy!”

“Why not your tummy?” Jinki asks it almost the same time as Minho, but whatever Jonghyun had been about to say is buried when Taemin reaches out to poke at the curve of his butt through his shorts; when Jonghyun looks up with a pout on his lips, Taemin looks away like it hadn’t been him.

Jonghyun doesn’t seem to dwell on that though - instead says, “Don’t touch my tummy, it’s yucky.”

“Your tummy is not yucky, Jonghyunnie. It’s cute, just like the rest of you.” Kibum and Minho seem to get the same idea at the same time - they both reach out and grab Jonghyun by the arms and legs, rolling him over and keeping him still until Jinki and Taemin see what they mean to do and move close enough to press kisses and blow raspberries against Jonghyun’s skin. With how eager they are, it’s almost like it’s a competition - who can make Jonghyun giggle more - and they’re not sure that Jonghyun really minds if the way he lets them handle him says anything.

Jonghyun is well past breathlessness when the four of them finally pull away from him, and there is a deep flush on his cheeks and a wide smile on his lips when he sits up. “I changed my mind, you can kiss my tum if you want. It’s squishy and soft and I like it too.”

“Just like your pretty cheeks?”

“And your pretty all of you.”

Jonghyun wiggles in place and makes a noise that is somewhere between flustered and pleased; he leans back against Kibum before yawning and mumbling, “Nap time?”

There isn’t much protest to that - they settle down beneath the blankets with Jonghyun squished between them all, just the way he likes it best. And just before Jonghyun nuzzles into Minho’s chest to sleep, Jinki nudges him and says, “Goodnight, pretty baby.”

Jonghyun burrows more into Minho and his voice is extremely muffled when he says, “Night night,” but none of them quite mind, and all they do is press closer so Jonghyun can feel that much more loved and needed.

#shinee #jongtae #jongkey #jongho #jongyu #ot5 #its 3am??????? #im khjhhjg couldve finished this so long ago but No #anyw elle blease have a good day ily #my writing #by the time i finished fully it was 4am hjkhhgjgh gn #anyw ya there should have also been commenting abt how cute nd squishy nd soft jong is #nd that jong looks super pretty with his tattoos bc now hes a pretty canvas nd hes just rlly pretty #nd how good he was for following all the instructions nd for choosing such ncie tattoos #but its Four int he Morning hjhkhjhg #im......................hopin theres no errors rip but Ya i hope this is gud enough :')))) #wowie i hope the @ works