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chronicowboy · 6 months

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by my love @shitouttabuck thank you soooo much i'm so bored catching up on lectures

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

66 for buddie but 79 overall

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

609,231 HA WHAT

3. what fandoms do you write for?

used to write for tfatws and aos but now it's 911 or nothin

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

let's build this house (into a home, baby) did not know this was my top so glad it is tho my absolute baby beloved

please? (can't say no) okay fair i do love this one surprised it's number 2 tho

memory (all alone in the moonlight) okayyyyy

not all of us are heroes (not all of us are brave) my titles are so shit i had to check to remember which one this was but yeah kinda slay

accidents happen (but i will love you on purpose) so glad this stupid silly turned heavy romantic little fic made it into top 5

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

on my bigger fics i always always do my best to reply to every comment just because of how much effort i poured into it and i want my wonderful beautiful commenters to know how grateful i am for the comments, i try to on my smaller fics but the reality of the matter is my brain is unimaginative when it comes to thank yous and i'm terrible at keeping up with shit like that but just know i read all of them and appreciate them sooooo goddamn much !!!!!!!!!!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i am probably incapable of angsty endings even when i write incredibly angsty fics so uh it'd probably some of my cross-posted little lightning era ficlets like i couldn't say no which is very chris-centred

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

literally like 99% of them are sappily happy because i'm disgusting and fragile when it comes to these men but it'd probably be the gross, gooey ending of the safe haven baby fic

8. do you get hate on fics?

no?????? idk if i'm just very lucky or have blocked it out but i don't think so

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i do but like. in the loosest possible sense. i try to keep it as vague and non-explicit as possible unless it's crucial to the story bc i am pretty sure i'm a little lesbian and dicks freak me out!!!

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i mean. i guess technically the parks and rec au could be considered a crossover of some sorts what with lil sebastian but apart from that.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

don't think so?

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i know of but i have had a podfic made which is awesome!!!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no god i feel like that would stress me out way too much. like i'd love to write with some of you beautiful minds on here but i am very poor at deadlines and group projects either make me incredibly stressy and lazy or control freaky and i wouldn't want to inflict that upon anyone

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

fuck. i mean. that's just. i feel like with 66 works and like 300k words you'd expect it to be buddie and i love them deeply but at the heart of me i am a merthur girlie through and through. they were the og. they were my whole world. they still are. nothing like two tragic little gay men so devoted to each other that it makes them severely fucked up!!!!!

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh my god. fuck. huh. there are like five aus that i am so desperate to write and have kinda-sorta planned but to call them wips would be very generous. there's the queer bar au which i WILL write one day, then the game night au, the nice guys au oh my god i love her deeply, the new girl au of course bc nickeddie has me in a chokehold despite not writing a word of him and then the merthurbuddie au i actually will never write bc i know it'd be 300k words long and take up the entirety of my life for like a solid year.

16. what are your writing strengths?

uh dialogue? i've always been told my writing's very cinematic and i'm experimenting more with scripts (play mostly but a little bit of tv and film) in my creative writing course.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

oh god. description. i feel like there's never enough between my dialogue idk. and my description is always so like. functional. i got scared of purple prose in high school and overcorrected somewhere along the way lollllll

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i love it, i try to avoid it because i always overestimate what i'll be able to remember from 5 years of spanish courses and then end up thoroughly humbling myself, would love to do it more but yeah apparently my brain just doesn't cooperate with other languages which suckssss

19. first fandom you wrote for?

okay well. it was marvel. and it was sambucky i think. either that or some irondad on this blog. but we're going to ignore that!!!!!! it was a dark time!

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

oooh boy oh man. um. want to say no rizz kink fic bc i had so much fun writing it but i know it's one of my aus. i just can't decide between neighbours, parks and rec, national treasure or gilmore girls. whoops

tagging: uh feel like i'm very late to the party so ignore if you've already been tagged lol @butchdiaz @eddiebabygirldiaz @folk-fae @piningeddiediaz if u guys want <3

#sami rambles #oh my god i have to catch up on a 2 hour grammar lecture after this (HELL!!!!) but this was a nice break #very fun until you asked me to choose between my babies!!#tag game #mutuals <3

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galaxytastes · 2 years

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I’m a sucker for found family rn so like… can I request albedo sitting with klee who’s fast asleep, Kaeya joins them to talk with Albedo, before they both slowly fall asleep too sitting next to each other and heads bumping….. it sounds so cute bro

Ah ha ha... Hello there anon who most definitely isn't my dear friend that requested this <3 Also, I haven't posted in literally a year, hi there everyone. I've been meaning to return, as I've been writing a lot more self indulgent pieces I would like to share with the internet. But, I actually wrote something for this ask a long time ago and never posted it so- here I am! I'm not super proud of this, as it is quite old and isn't my best work, but I'm hoping some of you could still enjoy it ^^ I was inspired by one of the Genshin books you can find in game, titled 'Heart of Clear Springs'. It always reminded me of Kaebedo and I really enjoy it. I left in a few segments from the actual story too. I will link some music I recommend to listen with this and a link to where you can read Heart of Clear Springs, if you feel so inclined.

Anyways, please enjoy. This is Kaebedo with Klee and its pre-official relationship but... They both like each other, y'know. It's Gay.

Heart of Clear Springs: https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Heart_of_Clear_Springs Here's the OST I recommend listening to on repeat as you read! I'm extra so I play some fire crackling sounds too... Thank you @sprayio for getting me addicted to ambient sounds with my music. Links to both of those here!

Quick side note- The bolded is Kaeya's POV

I hope you enjoy :)

youtube

“Under the cascading moonlight, a tearful boy made his wish at the spring…” A tired voice read aloud to eager ears. “A fairy from afar, who had taken up residence in the unoccupied spring, listened in silence to his wordless wish. Spring fairies are born of water's essence, faceless descendants of the angels.” A gloved hand touched the page and delicately traced the fairy illustration. “Thus, when the curious fairy emerged from the water and heard the cry of that boy's heart, she became interested in this life, younger and more fragile than her own. The silent fairy reached out her formless fingers, cold as the midnight dew and soft as fortune forgone and gently caressed the boy's forehead and cheeks.” Nestled against a large tree framing a pond between Dragonspine and Mondstadt, a brother and his sister sat nestled close near a small fire. The elder held a book close to his face, occasionally taking glances at the young girl to make sure she was still listening. Fireflies and crystal flies fluttered nearby, little hands reaching above her head in a failed attempt to grab one.

“Startled by this stranger's touch, the young boy lifted his head and met the fairy's gaze. ‘Can you make my wish come true?’ The boy asked. The fairy of the spring was surprised and confused by this presumptuous question. But she could not speak, and so simply nodded her head. Satisfied, the boy left. He did not know that the spring fairy was alone, without friends or family, and that she had lost a great deal of her wisdom.”

“Poor fairy. I would be her friend… Do you know any fairies I could hang out with?” A small, concerned voice interrupted. “Maybe she could teach me how to fly!”

“I’m afraid I don’t. If I ever meet one, you will be the first person I tell. Now, are you sure you aren’t tired, Klee?” The older sibling replied quietly to his tiny companion. “I believe I may have kept you out past your bedtime. The Acting Grandmaster is sure to scold us both.”

“Mhmm, finish the story! I’ll sleep when I find out what happens to the boy and the fairy.” Klee replied in a tired voice, echoed by a tiny yawn. “Master Jean won’t know I stayed out unless you tell her, big brother.”

Albedo chuckled but cleared his throat to continue.

“Only when the spring water flowed from cracks in the stone into her pool, and when she gazed upon the fractured image of the moon in the rippling water, did she slowly regain the ability to think, and to mimic fragments of speech.” Klee cooed as Albedo read and traced along another illustration. The man breathed deeply through his nose, savoring the scent of fresh water and sweet flowers. Orange light danced across the pages of the book, casting long thin shadows over the fine script.

“Like a curious child, the fairy observed the world around her in innocence, wonder, and love. She rejoiced with the fox and squirrel who stole berries, and grieved at the dark clouds that covered the horizon.” Albedo kept his voice low, barely louder than a whisper, as he continued reading the story to Klee. “Curious and full of wonder. She’s a bit like you in that way, hm?”

“Hehe, yeah… But if I was a fairy, I wouldn’t be a spring one.” Klee sighed while rubbing the heel of her little hand into her eye. “I would be a fire fairy. I wouldn’t even need my bombs! I could just… PEW PEW PEW.” Klee squeaked, jolting them both with sudden dramatic hand movements. The girl melted into a fit of sleepy giggles, earning a smile from Albedo.

“I think you would make a fine fire fairy. Just no fire fairy practice anywhere near my lab.” The alchemist turned his attention back to the book. He tapped the page once he found where he left off and continued the story. “And for that young boy, a feeling complex yet immature welled forth from within her heart. All alone in this world, she had neither the power nor wisdom with which to grant his wish. But she could share it, and she drew life from sharing his burdens…” Foolish little fairy. Albedo thought to himself as he pondered the tale. Not even human, yet allowed herself to fall for human charms. How predictable.

Crystalline teal eyes danced across the lake as he pondered the story; the water a mirror to the twinkling night sky. Snow fell gracefully across the lake, contrasting strikingly with the lush green grass that surrounded them. A small fishing pole laid in a bush beside them along with a backpack full of “fish fryers”, as Klee liked to call her bombs.

Focusing on the sound of her heavy breathing, Albedo’s eyes fluttered downward to find his audience fast asleep. Klee snored softly as her hat flopped onto her face. Albedo carefully picked it up and rested it on the bag beside them. The alchemist smiled and ran a gloved hand over her hair, sending a silent wish of sweet dreams for the little knight.

He turned his attention back to the gleaming water, admiring the way the moon’s reflection sat centered in the pond, as if the celestial body floated amongst the fish. What a childish thought.

Rarely did the man have time to do such seemingly trivial things such as stare out into the dusk night. If he wasn’t working, he was theorizing, writing or painting. Even when observing sceneries for his artworks or studies, Albedo always found a way to make it productive; so that no time is wasted. To find the secret of this world is a full time job, Albedo would tell himself.

The young alchemist shifted a bit where he sat and leaned his head back against the tree. The sounds of the rustling leaves harmonized with the gentle waves in the water. He wanted to appreciate this moment, but his mind couldn’t help but wander, as it usually does. The stars shined through the branches, perfect tiny diamonds millions of miles away. Normally, Albedo might have theorized how many miles away the star is. What kind of components create the brilliance of a star in the sky? At what speed would one have to travel to be up close and personal to these diamonds that frame the heavens? He recalled drawing the night sky above Mondstadt in detail, every night for months, simply to study their patterns. But instead, tonight he thinks of eyes. Deep gray blue eyes, like the color of the sea. A diamond pupil… He squeezed his own eyes closed and shook his head a bit, blonde locks brushing his forehead.

“So, this is what the Knights of the Favonious are up to lately, hm? Sleeping on the job?” A cheerful voice called from near the water, alerting him to jump, his hand instinctively reaching back for his sword. Caught daydreaming about starry-eyed men with a child napping at his side was not an ideal turn of events.

“Was nearly a jest! It’s me, dear Chief Alchemist.” Kaeya’s recognizable chuckle grew closer as the knight stepped into the campfire light. A dazzling smile accentuated his twinkling eye. Albedo moved his hand to rest back on the book which sat on his stomach, hoping to shush whatever strange feeling swirled inside.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t recognize my voice.” The dark haired man raised his eyebrows and took another step closer, dusting a bit of melting snow from his shoes.“I’m hurt, dear alchemist! I thought you of all people would know my voice, considering how often I keep running into you.”

“My apologies.” Albedo said with a sigh, settling back into his relaxed position. His face projected complete solitude; boredom even. But his mind raced with the strangest mix of excitement and worry. The alchemist wasn’t expecting visitors, let alone the cavalry captain. It seemed wherever Albedo wandered, Kaeya was never too far behind. After a handful of coincidental meetings, Albedo had come to consider Kaeya an acquaintance. My acquaintance who makes my stomach hurt.

“Well? Answer my question, young knight. What are you two doing out here so late in the evening?” Kaeya raised his hands above his head in a stretch. His muscles rippled under his tightly fit clothing and Albedo pondered how the man kept warm in such revealing clothing. Perhaps he too had an immunity to the cold winds.

“I’m doing my job.” Albedo replied in a matter of fact manner. He met Kaeya’s curious gaze and nodded down to the sleeping girl. “I was assigned Klee duty and she wished to go fishing. Now, she is napping. So, if you don't mind, keep your voice down.”

Kaeya smiled wider and gave a quick nod, kneeling down on his haunches to give Klee a gentle pat. The smell of pinewood, fresh snow and a hint of jasmine filled the air, a familiar scent that warmed Albedo’s chest. Though his expression exuded disinterest, he’d be lying to himself if he didn’t admit he appreciated the surprise rendezvous from the captain.

“Care to answer your own question, Sir Kaeya?” The alchemist asked as he carefully folded the corner of the book’s page before placing it on the grass beside him. “What brings you out here?”

Kaeya leaned his weight onto one hip and crossed his arms across his chest. He didn’t even need to speak before Albedo sensed the lies.

“Well, you see, I was going to meet Rosaria at the Angel’s Share but she was called in for nun duties. You know… singing about Barbados and what not.” He shrugged, turning to fluff a hand through his boa. “Instead, I decided to… secure the perimeter of… Mondstadt!” Albedo’s eyebrows furrowed a bit and opened his mouth to retort, knowing very well that wasn’t true, before the other knight let out a loud sigh, slumping against the tree.

“Well, now it would be unwise of me to leave two fellow knights out here, stranded in the dark.” Kaeya slid down the tree, easing himself against its trunk next to Albedo. The blonde man tensed a bit at the sudden close contact but didn’t move from where he sat. “I’m sure the two of you wouldn’t mind some company?”

“I suppose that is fine…” Albedo replied in a soft tone, taking note of the warmth that beamed off Kaeya like a campfire. Interesting. “Though, I’m sure you have plenty more interesting things to do than stare at the night sky with another man and a child.”

“There is nowhere I’d rather be, if I’m being quite honest with you, Mr. Albedo.” Kaeya chuckled sheepishly and shook his head, a contagious sound that tugged at the corners of the alchemist’s lips. Albedo watched as Kaeya leaned his head back, tilting his head up to watch the stars. Thankfully, he was sitting to Kaeya’s left side, so he could admire the way the stars twinkled back in the deep blue color. How curious… Albedo continued to stare, puzzled at how intriguing the site was.

Kaeya’s eye darted to the side and he smirked, bringing a blush to Albedo’s cheeks, but he swiftly turned his attention back to the sky. The alchemist had to tear his attention away from the other, finding himself sucked into the vision. Stars reflecting in starlight…

The two sat in silence with the sleeping elf snuggled between them for a moment more as they savored the peacefulness of the evening. The faint sound of water lapping along the bank’s shore mixed sweetly with the faint humming of the nearby fireflies. One floated its way closer to them, swirling gracefully. Albedo’s bright eyes followed the bug until his companion nudged his hand.

The blonde went to tug his hand back in surprise but instead froze, allowing Kaeya’s rough finger pads to trace over the back of his gloved knuckles. His hands were cold, cold enough to feel through the glove’s fabric, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact it felt… nice. Albedo looked from their hands back to Kaeya’s face, which was dusted in a matching pink blush. He swallowed hard and tore his attention away from Kaeya once more, but was sure to keep his hand still. For some strange reason, he quietly hoped the captain would keep his hand still for a few more moments as well.

“Tell me more about this book you were reading to Klee.” Kaeya was the first to break the comfortable silence, but his voice was soft. Almost sleepy. Albedo swallowed once more, urging the unfamiliar nervousness to fade, before clearing his throat.

“It is just a love story, about a fairy and a boy.” The smaller man kept his voice quiet as well. “Nothing too special… An immortal from far away learns to speak and understand languages outside her own, with help from this human boy. The end is quite bittersweet.” Kaeya yawned, but smiled with another nod, earring him another Albedo smile. “You and Klee both enjoy bedtime stories?”

Kaeya flashed that dashing smile once more, Archons, that smile… and glanced down at the sleeping girl in Albedo’s lap.

“That, or maybe your voice is just comforting. Maybe both. But, I think if anyone deserves some rest, it would be you, my dear chief alchemist.” Smooth as ever, Kaeya slinked forward and grabbed the book from where it sat before Albedo could even resist. He opened his mouth again to retort, but was once again cut off as a cold finger pressed to his lips in a silencing gesture.

“I’m curious to know how the story ends. Just… lean your head back and relax. I promise I am a fantastic storyteller.” Kaeya nudged his hand once more as he opened the book, flipping through the pages.

“I- Fine. If you insist. Just, please do not let me fall asleep. That would be humiliating.” Albedo grumbled and sighed as he leaned his head back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaeya carefully flipped open to the book where Albedo had carefully marked it. The illustrations were beautifully done; hand drawn and intricate. The knight took a moment to admire the work, showing it off to the alchemist who sleepily acknowledged them. As he settled himself a bit closer to Albedo, his heart hammered in his chest. He thanked the Archons for the sleepiness in the evening air, aiding in Kaeya’s closeness to the usually stone cold man. He stole another glance at the other and bit into the inside of his cheek to not stare too long. Gold locks framed his perfect face, billowing around the curve of his jaw. His bright blue eyes were drooping as he stared up at the stars. Beautiful.

For the next half an hour or so, Kaeya read from the book in a hushed tone. He did voices for the fairy and the boy, making it a bit more theatrical than Albedo ever would. The blonde rolled his eyes as Kaeya faked a whimper, wiping away an invisible tear as he got towards the bittersweet ending. As he continued, the both of them allowed themselves to be sucked into the story. Kaeya would be lying if he did not admit how his heart ached for the characters; and he did not miss the sadness in Albedo’s air.

“From that moment, the fairy vowed that she would someday bear to leave him. And the boy vowed that he would remain by her spring forever.” Kaeya’s mouth tilted downward in a pout. “You weren’t kidding about this being kinda sad, Bedo.”

Albedo’s eyes widened at the endearing nickname and he nodded with a sad smile.

“I find it a bit silly of her. An immortal, falling for a human. Probably the most selfish choice a person can make, don’t you agree?” Albedo seemed deeply affected by his own words. He was close enough now that Kaeya’s arm grazed against his and Kaeya resisted the urge to move even closer.

“I can’t say I agree, sir.” Kaeya released a breathy laugh as he turned the page to the last chapter. “I think it’s brave. And hello there, sleepy girl.”

Albedo’s brows furrowed, brushing through Klee’s hair with his free hand as she roused from sleep. She smiled up at her brother and lazily waved at Kaeya, scooching herself so she was laying on both of their laps.

“Please finish the story now, Kaeya. I promise we can go home after.” Klee looked up at them both with pleading eyes.

“Well, who am I to deny Mondstadt’s princess of pyro? The crimson knight herself?” The navy haired night snickered and winked at the alchemist, who retorted with a deadpan expression.

“Just make it quick, Kaeya.” Albedo huffed but a smile still played on his lips. Archons.

Kaeya cleared his throat before he began; merely keeping his eyes on the page as he created his own ending.

“As time went on, the boy grew up. He grew and he grew, as all boys and girls do. Each day, he kept his promise. He would return to the spring and wait for the fairy. But, he did not cry as he once did. Instead, he continued to live. He drank from the water, cooked by the water’s edge. He painted the scenery, wrote poems and songs of their memories.” Kaeya stole a glance to the confused Albedo, who sat so close, Kaeya could feel his soft breath. He chuckled and continued, pointing to the page as if his words were printed.

“Eventually, the fairy returned. She waited many years to come see if the boy had moved on. To her surprise, he waited for her there. A grown man, with life experience and lots of love to give. She rejoiced and the two shared their second kiss.” Klee happily hummed and leaned back, obviously about to doze back off to sleep.

“Suddenly, he realized that though he had met and parted with countless new friends, and though he had adventured and returned more times than he could remember, he was not alone in the end. So, as they had done many years ago, the boy's tears fell into the pure pond, soaking into the fractured moon.” Kaeya yawned as he kept talking. “But this time, it was with laughter and happiness. With his lover’s hand in his, he spent the rest of his days basking in the sun by the stream. An immortal and mortal… who spent a human's length of life… together.”

The book flopped onto the ground as sleep claimed Kaeya’s consciousness, despite his fight against it. His head conked over to the side, cheek softly resting atop Albedo’s soft hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An immortal and a mortal. Albedo thought to himself as he nuzzled into Kaeya, not fighting the smile that broke his face into the fondest of grins as the other slept against him. He shut his eyes and breathed in deeper, savoring once more the brisk smell of fresh snow and the sweet intoxicating smell of Kaeya Alberich.

Perhaps fairies are not so foolish. Perhaps it's okay to be predictable and fall for human charms.

I wonder how many times the fairy and the boy fell asleep just like this.

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princesssarisa · 1 year

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the 7-questions-ask: Scrooge

Three facts about them from my personal headcanons.

His mother was alive during his childhood. She was just emotionally fragile and easily ruled by her stern husband, like Clara in David Copperfield, which is why she allowed him to send little Ebenezer away to the harsh boarding school and not even bring him home for the holidays. She was able to raise Fan into a sweet, lovely girl, though. (I've just decided on this because I'm tired of adaptations killing her off and using her death to explain the coldness of Scrooge's father, when the book never even mentions her as dead or alive in Scrooge's childhood flashback.)

He's of Scottish descent. His family surname was originally the Scottish "Scroggie," but they changed it to the more Anglo-sounding "Scrooge" when they relocated to England.

He's in his late fifties or early sixties during A Christmas Carol, and is going to live about twenty years longer, eventually dying at a ripe old age surrounded by loved ones. In the original timeline that the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come shows him, he would have died much sooner, but his new and improved life will bring him better health and more will to live.

A reason they suck:

Well, at the beginning, he's a mean, cold-hearted miser who does nothing to help the poor, and who neglects his clerk's needy family.

A reason they are great:

In the end he becomes so generous and kind, and he proves that it's never too late to change or to find happiness that you thought you would never have.

A reason I relate to them:

I sometimes feel tempted to be self-absorbed and solitary, but I'm always happier when I remember to caring and generous.

(what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character:

Belle in his youth. In his old age, none, though it might be nice to imagine him reconnecting with Belle, finding that she's a widow, and reconciling with her in a December/December romance.

Five things that never happened to the character that I believe should have happened:

He should have met with the spirits of some of the good people from his past – e.g. his sister Fan, or Fezziwig – as well as with Marley's Ghost. It would have been nice for him to see that they were proud of his redemption.

He should have been able to see the vision of Belle with her family, and regret that he missed his chance to have children, without Dickens-as-narrator interrupting the scene to talk hornily about Belle's grownup daughter and wish he could be one of her little siblings so he could unpin her hair, touch her lips, etc. Why did 19th century male authors have to be that way about women?! (Although if the Muppet version, with Gonzo as Dickens, had included that scene, and Camilla the Chicken had played the daughter, it could have been funny.)

He should have realized from the beginning that the dead man being discussed throughout the Christmas Yet to Come scenes was himself. It's not exactly a shocking, unpredictable twist. But then, he probably does realize it's him, and just won't admit it to himself until he sees his name on the tombstone.

He should not have teased Bob Cratchit on St. Stephen's Day and made him think he was going to fire him only to raise his salary instead. Bob must have been terrified! (Not that I really disapprove of Scrooge's teasing Bob, it's a funny and unforgettable scene, but still... it's good that he rediscovers how to have mischievous fun, but I hope he knows not to let pranks go too far!)

He should have been able to tell someone about his adventures with the ghosts. I like to imagine that a few years later, he will tell Tiny Tim about them.

Five people that character never fell in love with and why.

His sister Fan. No incest.

His nephew Fred. No gay incest.

His nephew Fred's wife. Beautiful though she is, she's too young for him, and he would never betray his nephew that way.

Jacob Marley. They were only partners in the business sense.

Mrs. Cratchit. She's a nice woman, but she'll only be a friend.

@faintingheroine, @ariel-seagull-wings, @reds-revenge

#7 questions #a christmas carol #ebenezer scrooge #fictional characters

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aye-of-newt · 1 year

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❤️💐🤝 for TUA!

❤️favorite character 💐comfort character

crown me miss predictable because it’s Klaus. would anyone expect me to say otherwise????

he’s just

blorbo of all time. all hail. chief stress ball. shiniest toy. wanna crunch him up like a tissue and stuff him in my coat pocket and pull him out later when I need the support. viciously shaking his snow globe. pin doll for my mental illnesses. poor baby who did nothing wrong ever in his dozens of lives and we love him. gay. gender. the only religion I would follow. disaster extraordinaire. absolute moron. lives by roger rabbit rules and is only smart when it’s funny. will traumatize you back. needs to be put up on the shelf so no one else can break him he’s fragile. battering ram personified. no thoughts head empty. or alternatively too many thoughts speech no longer makes sense because no one could follow that train. asshole. possesses at least 80% of the family’s collective emotional intelligence. self-appointed comedic relief. personal enemy of god. immortal and too busy to notice. loves his mother. fashion icon. has your back zero questions asked. ok so many questions asked but only for humorous effect. worst lookout in history. made a deliberate choice not to kick ass and stood by that decision. baby. impressive knowledge of song lyrics. crafter. has questionable morals but does in all fairness stick to them. unhinged. zero self preservation. all self preservation. tries to run from the world but returns willingly every time he’s about to be free. call himself uncaring while his heart bleeds. tragic. hopeful. never had a chance in hell. unstoppable. just the absolute most character.

🤝 character I relate to most

…I feel like it would be cheating to say Klaus again. also boring. I do project onto him the most but part of what I love about tua is how deeply understandable and human ***all*** of the siblings are.

I understand how Luther feels about always trying to be perfect and giving up what feels like your entire life for the sake of pleasing people who will never be happy with you

I understand Diego putting up a front of anger and indifference to hide how deeply he aches for love and approval. I understand how frustrating and embarrassing it is for your speaking voice to be “wrong”

I understand Allison wanting to rip the world apart when the loss becomes too much

I understand Klaus wanting to bury himself in anything that will distract him. I understand using humor to deflect anything that is too painful to face and as something to hide behind so you don’t have to be humiliatingly vulnerable

I understand Five’s loneliness and the way that he refuses to trust or rely on anyone even if it’s proven to be detrimental to his health

I understand Ben feeling stuck and isolated and angry at everyone who seems to not realize how lucky they are

I understand Viktor who was always left out. I understand loving someone and feeling unbearable rage at them for what they did to you.

All of the Hargreeves are traumatized and flawed and total assholes and deeply beautifully human. I love them all.

#ask game #thank you rin!!!!!#tua

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quodekash · 1 year

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TIS WAY TOO LATE, THUS TIS TIME FOR HAPPY GAY HAPPINESS

im half asleep rn cos i just woke up (im trying a new thing where i go to sleep and have an alarm for 11:30 so that i can watch the episodes but still hopefully get enough-ish sleep) so its possible that this will be very very incoherent (more so than usual, that is)

it astounds me that they have summary flashback thingies at the starts of the second episodes of os2. like "hey remember this? remember literally yesterday? just in case you forgot, here's a reminder that wouldnt help whatsoever if you actually did forget what happened. youre welcome."

"can i please get a plane" "you deserve A ROCKET" PLEASE I LOVE THEM

brb, sobbing again.

(so theres this thing that happens sometimes where i press command+z while doing one of these posts and then it deletes everything until the first image. and it happened tonight. and i was nearly finished the episode, so now im gonna try and go all the way back and recite the stuff i said, so bear with me while i try to remember whatever nonsense i said. a lot will be missing tho because i quoted a lot of stuff rather than taking screenshots, so yeah. imma try my best tho)

"Papa!" "YES?" "YES?" THE WAY THEY BOTH RESPOND AT THE SAME TIME GJRBDGJBR THEY ARE DADS

THE WAY TALAY GETS UP SO FAST TO COME TO JIGSAW WHEN HE CALLS FOR THEM GRHEBDGHB

THE FREAKING DRAWING ON EACH OTHERS FACES

THE BONDING WITH THE CHILD

THE HAPPINESS

GJKERBDGB

JIGSAW AND HIS FOUR DADS

gotta love a nivea sponsorship

FLASHBACKS???

WHY

MY HEART IS TOO WEAK FOR THIS

WAIT

AAAAA

HES WIPING OFF THE DUST IN HIS HEART

IM NOT OKAY

"oh, but i dont think i can wash that redness off your face now" please theyre so freaking sweet what the hell

THE RAISING OF THE CHILD MONTAGE

THE PLAYING WITH THE STUFFED TOYS

THE DRINKING OF THE DRINK FROM THE FRIDGE

THE HIDE AND SEEK???

THE HIGH FIVE???

WHY DOES A HIGH FIVE AFFECT ME SO DEEPLY

HE'S SUCH A DAD

THEYRE SUCH DADS

IM NOT OKAY

DADS

I LOVE THEM SO SO MUCH

THE PLAYING IN THE POOL????

HIS FOUR DADSSSSS IM SOBBING

HELL YEAH HE POOPED

NO WAIT NOT THE FOREHEAD KISS

THE FOREHEAD KISS IS THE DEATH OF ME

WHY DOES IT AFFECT ME SO DEEPLY

im genuinely not okay. i might need to just. go into a corner and scream. please.

PUEN FELL ASLEEP

I THINK I MIGHT NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL IF THERE'S MUCH MORE OF THIS, MY POOR FRAGILE HEART

THE ZOO???? yeah someone call an ambulance, i might die

OISHI???? HELL YESSSS

i desire oishi tea probably more than i should. my quest to find it continues unsolved. but fear not, for i shall look inside every aisan grocer i can to see if i can find it somewhere (please im desperate)

THIS IS SO SWEET

THE TEA?

AND THE ANIMALS??

AND THE WHOLESOMENESS????

AND THE WAY THEY TAKE PHOTOS OF HIM???

AND HIS SWEET LITTLE SMILE

YOU CANT TELL ME YOU DONT WANT TO ADOPT THIS CHILD

I KNOW I DO

AND I HATE CHILDREN

but this child is one of the VERY FEW exceptions

you idiots you lost the child

DADS

THEY ARE DADS

THEY MEAN A LOT TO ME

honestly, fair enough

HES SUCH A CONCERNED DAD

THEY ARE CONCERNED PARENTS

GRJDKGBRKJ

I CANT TAKE IT

THEYRE SUCH DADS

I LOVE THEM

AAAAA

"let's go poopoo" that sounds like a great idea

DADS

HELLO DADS

ILY

"i think we should end this plan" che??

"im scared my sister will scold me for doing this to her kid" CHE????

so. they stole tup's nephew. to repair their friends' relationship.

nice

"Uncle Two" BRO GJERBDGHB

BRO THIS KID IS SUCH A GOOD ACTOR WHAT THE HELL?

such a good lier too

i cant wait til hes all grown up and, *sniff* committing felonies, all on his own

(a single tear makes its way down my face)

so proud

"ill bring you a doll every day" well that explains it

"but i feel guilty about doing this to talay" yeah, that makes sense, considering the whole... everything.

TWO

NOT-AOU'S HIS NAME IS TWO

TWO AND TUP

NOT UP AND AOU

HUZZAH NAMES

"i want to go home already" WAIT NO WHY, YOU WERE HAVING FUN WITH THEM

unless hes just THAT good of an actor, which is possible

OMG

AUSTRALIAN REP

THATS ME

ITS US

the like. 12 australians that watch gmmtv thai bl dramas.

bUT YEAH, ITS US, HUZZAH

tis me, australian. it feels nice to be represented

OMG A KIWI

THAT'S NEW ZEALAND

THATS AMAZING

NZ NEVER GETS REP THATS AMAZING

HAVE A GREAT DAY NEIGHBOURS

ah shoot not good

jigsaw did a silly thing

bro, talay, chill

yeah he's just ruined some important stuff, but he's a kid. hes still figuring out that other people around him have feelings that are important and stuff, he's going to do silly things sometimes. but threatening to beat him?? chill bro. physically reprimanding someone, especially a child, wont help. also thats child abuse.

"raising a kid is not easy at all." yeah, well that goes without saying. its sweat and tears and a lot of hard work. and the little gross slimy gremlins dont have a conscience yet and theyre impulsive and horrible. but that's the joy of it. this human being developing before you, and youre helping them with that, with finding who they are. the effort you put into raising a kid, because you care about them, and the results you get from that effort? that's your reward. raising a child is painful, and its difficult, and there's gonna be lots of lows. but it's beautiful and wonderful and magical, and as long as you show lots of love and care, itll be infinitely rewarding

(whatever original thing i wrote about that before accidentally deleting everything was way better but i cant remember what i said so we'll all just have to deal with that)

WAIT WHEN DID I BECOME AN INSPIRATIONAL SPEAKER ABOUT WHY KIDS DONT SUCK

I HATE KIDS

WHAT AM I DOING

DISTRACTION! LOOK OVER THERE

phew okay

BRO YOU LOST THE CHILD AGAIN?

BRO YOU TOOK HIM TO A CHILDREN'S HOME???

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LIE TO YOUR FRIENDS, GUYS

well, not really. but the message still stands. lying bad.

i think

is lying bad?

let's not delve into the depths of morality and questions of life rn, i need to go to bed

honestly not even surprised anymore, the kid is magic.

PFFFT THE WAY PUEN JOINS TALAY ON THE MORAL HIGH GROUND TO TELL THE OTHERS LYING IS BAD

HSDHSHDHSHS AND THEN TALAY TELLS HIM OFF AND PUEN JUST QUIETLY GOES BACK TO SITTING ON THE BENCH WITH TUP AND TWO

i love them so much

LMAO HE OVERHEARD THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION

THIS IS BRILLIANT

wait seriously, jigsaw is such a good actor

this is some genuine raw talent

one day he'll be working with the likes of Sound Saran

he's so freaking talented

this kid is incredible

omg talay bought a giant giraffe for jigsaw and now two has to carry it home

question: do tup and two live together? (please let the answer be yes)

another question: how the hell did jigsaw get into the car without being noticed. he was between talay and puen. how did puen not see him. i genuinely need to know, DID he teleport???

and an observation: puen's still in his pyjamas.

so that's pretty interesting

(huzzah weve made it through everything i previously said! my memory actually held up really well which was a big surprise but i guess im just incredible like that. anyway, on with the episode)

JIGSAW HAS AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH THEM AND NOW HE CAN COME VISIT THEM WHENEVER

i was worried that when it was revealed, jigsaw would feel really weird about coming back and puentalay would feel weird as well and then they would barely ever see jigsaw again but im glad that didnt happen, im very happy, this is very happy

i do appreciate that the angstiest thing to happen in this was You Are Not The Father and that was it

i like it when angst is silly

when its so fluffy im crying super hard throughout the whole thing

i like fluff

OH MY GOODNESS, JIGSAW'S TINY WAVE??? GHREDGB

THE OH-AW NOISES KEEP HAPPENING WHY MUST THEY KEEP HAPPENING

i think puentalay should kiss. they havent rly done that yet.

also side note: where the hell are aou and fuse, i need them in my life

give them a special ep or something, they deserve it

"even though there's only a little pink, jigsaw completed his drawing with other colours, just like our story." NOOOOOO IM DYING CRYING VOMITING DESTROYING WORLDS WHAT THE HELL /pos

"we might focus less on our love one day, but i'll still understand you, care for you, and want the best for you." HHHHHHHHHHH

HELP

THE LEANING THE HEAD ON THE SHOULDER GHFGHBFHGFB

"i actually wasnt done with my surprise plan yet" CHE????

was he gonna propose

i hope so but also i hope not because marriage is a stupid christian thing that is way too popular and silly and is nothing but a "you can have sex now, horray". either that or it's just a legal contract for the two families to be bonded/allies. i mean yeah, marriage is for love. but have you considered: capitalism. and like, its possible to be super close to someone WITHOUT getting married to them, marriage isnt important for a deep connection to someone. i mean if you wanna get married, go ahead. and if it is a proposal, ill be insanely happy. but also marriage is silly and i could talk about it for ages but my brain isnt providing me the right words to get my point across right now, probably because its nearly 2am and i need to go to sleep, so ill shut up about marriage now

OHHH ITS THE FREAKING HOURGLASS

FJGBHFBDGHFBGHFGBGHDB

"i will take us back to where we were" literally or just like imagination. because if youre literally going back... um. how.

OMG HE HAS A GUITAR???

ARE THEY GONNA END EVERY EPISODE LIKE THIS??

IF SO, IM TOTALY DOWN AND PROBABLY GONNA CRY

this is so pretty

he has such a pretty voice

NO NOT THE FLASHBACKS WHAT THE HELL WHY MUST THEY DO THIS TO ME

THE FREAKING SHIRT

"thats not me" "i told you. where there's puen, there's talay" BRO

yes. please do.

WAIT

WHAT THE HELL

HE ACTUALLY REMEMBERS THAT???

WASNT HE DRUNK

I DIDNT KNOW HE EVER REMEMBERED THAT HAPPENING

HOLY HELL

I THINK I MIGHT JUST EXPLODE RN PLEASE

YAYYYYY KISSEEEE

THE FOREHEAD TOUCHES THE FOREHEAD TOUCHES THE FOREHEAD TOUCHES

HERE COME THE TEARS

FOREHEAD TOUCHING IS THE MOST INTIMATE THING AND YOU CANT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE, I WILL GLADLY DIE ON THIS HILL

AND PUENTALAY'S FOREHEAD TOUCHES ARE INFINITELY INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

AND ITS SUCH A PROLONGED FOREHEAD TOUCH

IM SOBBING AS QUIETLY AS I POSSIBLY CAN

FOREHEAD TOUCHES

okay. msp trailer time. prepare yourselves emotionally, physically, mentally, as much as you possibly can in any way at all

have triple zero on hold just in case, i might be about to die

deep breaths, deep breaths

im so scared

okay okay i can do this

no i cant

yes i can

i cant

i have to

JUST DO IT BRO

okay

i have my three favourite stuffed toys. time to die.

I KEEP PRESSING PLAY AND PAUSING IT IMMEDIATELY

WHY CANT I DO THIS

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

deeeeeeep breaths

deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breaths

AAAAFGHJREBSDGJHBRSHJGBVJERHBSDGHJVRBESJHDGBN

OMG SOUNDWIN

DID I WELL UP AT THE SIGHT OF SOUNDWIN? MAYBE

REVERSE TIWPOR

HOW DO YOU FREAK OUT QUIETLY

THIS FREAKING FINGER

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

HELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELP

GUIERHSDGIUHERDOGIHEROIDGHE09RIPDHGV09EIRHDGOIV

IM NOT OKAY

"time and reality are more than just straight lines, but a multiverse of endless possibilities. everything we choose may brance out into unrestricted truths and turn into a parallel universe, different from the one we know." im desperately hoping that this means there's gonna be season 2 of msp

that was a wonderful episode and now im gonna be waiting in anticipation for soundwin for the next five days because i am ✨mentally ill✨ but first i need to sleep

BYE BYEEEE

#quodekash watches our skyy 2 despite desperately needing to sleep #our skyy 2 #os2 #os2 vice versa #vice versa series #vice versa the series #puentalay #sea tawinan #jimmy jitaraphol #jimmysea #os2 vvs #msp #os2 msp #send help immediately please

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suckerpunch-wrestlinggirls · 1 year

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SUCKER PUCNCH -Pretty Devils [Wrestling Girls Vol. II]

Avid Queer Reader rated it ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

After loving the first volume I requested an ARC of this second installment coming out in March to the author and she was so kind to send me one in exchange for an honest review.

I read this entire book in one night. No shit. I got the email with the ARC last night at 10 PM, started reading right away... and next thing I new it was 5 AM. And my heart was singing.

I thought I loved the first book because of how true and genuine the love in it is, in all its forms... I wasn't emotionally ready to be completely blown away by Pretty Devils. The real superpower of this author is the heart she can put in each and every of her characters, even the ones who aren't really prominent in the story. That's what truly brings everything to life, what makes you smile and tear up as you read about this bunch of "queer disaster idiots" and their life at the Beatcave.

I wasn't particularly impressed at first by the main character because, after the lovely POC romance we got in the first book, we're now presented with... a lot of whiteness. BUT! It only takes a couple of chapters to grow fond of Liv and her struggles with life and the world. It's never stated anywhere that she's neurodivergent (autistic, I assume?) because, as many neurodivergent people in real life, she never got a disognosis: her mother just calls her stupid and Liv herself believes it's simply a learning disability. So bonus points for the white MFC. Liv is also poor and struggling to make ends meet every month because of her mother's drinking and gambling problems, but she never whines like a martyr and I really appreciated her tough fragility.

On the other side of the spectrum, quite literally, we have Raisa, who is gorgeous and strong and has never had to struggle for anything, coming from a loving, wealthy family. Raisa is presented, at first, as your sterotypical goth: brooding, quiet, maybe even slightly curt (I was swooning the very moment she was introduced), an Ice Queen clad in leather who likes to mind her own business and keep to herself.

No spoilers as to how they meet and how their relastionship begins and develops, but let me say this: we see both these characters bloom page after page right before out eyes. Liv, from the small, frightened kitten she was in the beginning, slowly starts learning to trust people and let her real self come out in the safe and friendly environment of the Beatcave. The dark ice coating Raisa's character starts melting away as she sends more and more time with Liv and I promise you you'll love every bit of their evolution as individuals and as a couple. Liv and Raisa and both far from perfect and they do a lot of things wrong (mostly because Liv has a hard time dealing with emotions and distressing events), but the patience and understanding and deep affection binding them together are stronger than anything else.

Now, subplots I ADORED:

- Roxie and Fiona. These two are show stealers: lesbian couple goals and the most beautiful Gay Moms energy you'll ever find. Watching them together really warms your heart.

- Blu. Blair fucking Lucas, ladies and gentlemen, is a GEM. When she first appeared I groaned to myself: "Oh, here's the gratuitously mean girl whose only prupose is to make the protagonist's life a nightmare." I was wrong. Oooh, boy, so wrong! There's so much to her to discover in between the lines. ILUSM, Blu.

- Mum and her girlfriend + Dad and his boyfriend (I know it sounds funny, but... just read these books, it'll make sense). I sense BIG poly vibes with them and I LOVE it. The poly representation in fiction is so rare, especially non problematic, healthy polyamory, and I think it's so refreshing to see it such a positive, loving portrayal, even if barely hinted at. Maybe it's all just in my brain, but... a win is a win. *wink*

To summarise this endless, delighted rambling of a review, here's what you'll find in this book:

- REALISTIC NEURODIVERGENCY REPRESENTATION - SLOW BURN *CHEF'S KISS* (you can literally see L&R fall in love and will call them idiots A LOT) - PLENTY OF (devastatingly beautiful) FOUND FAMILY FEELS - STRONG WOMEN AND SOFT MEN - POSITIVE STRAIGHT CHARACTERS (who also are idiots in love but won't say it) - POOR GIRL DATING RICH GIRL BUT WANTING TO BE THE ONE WHO DOES THE SPOILING (seriously, though, this alone should earn this book an extra star.) - SO. MUCH. LOVE. (I want to be a part of this bunch of dorks. Where do I apply?)

Go read these books RIGHT NOW. Your queer heart will thank you.

#sapphic romance #sapphic books #wlw romance #queer romance #lgbt romance #sports romance #queer books #wlw books #lgbt books #liv 4 brutality #liv for brutality #l4b #liv4brutality #livforbrutality

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celiastjamesoscar · 6 months

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We don't know for sure, she's a hybrid of different breeds, but most likely Kokoni. We got her from a shelter in Lithuania. Her name is Nike, not like the brand though. Pronounced more like Neeke.

Yeah, poor Nat definitely deserved much better. I don't know much about the general plot but I do know that she had a tragic history, which made her closed off and reluctant to let people in. She deserved to have someone who completely understood her and was patient with her. Bruce is meh. He's just there. Natty could have such a beautiful love story. From a closed of hardass to slowly trusting her girlfriend (Wanda, Maria, any hot woman)

Oh yeah, Dani and Jamie were truly perfect. Mike destroyed all of our fragile gay hearts but it's still beautiful. Clexa was and will forever be my all time favorite ship. Through them I discovered that I like girls so they will always have a special place in my heart. Like you I'm also not really shipping people, it honestly depends on what I'm currently watching and what I'm obsessed with. Like Wanda and Nat right now. But I do love Villaneve. They're so chaotic 😭

How's your camping trip going?

Nike is adorable no matter her breed!!

Natasha definitely deserved better. I wish that she had more screen time just so we could have gotten more of actual story. I think the closest she got to having someone understand her was Clint, but that was only platonic love. She deserved to have some womanly love!!

Mike deserves jail time for all of the heart break he’s caused. I still love him though. The Clexa love story is one of my favorites, I love how Lexa made a move on Clarke after not even a week of knowing each other and in the middle of a war 😭 Lexa had been in the trenches after Costia. VILLANEVE!!! I’ve never actually watched the show, but I love their dynamic so much. Most of my tiktok feed is just videos of them 😭

My camping trip was good! It was a bit cold, so my brother and I just stayed in our camper and watched The House of Usher together while our parents hung out with their camping friends. My brother only watched the last 4 episodes with me, but he really loved it. Im trying to get him to watch Hill House next

How has your day been love? <3

#bender chats #clexa is forever ♾️

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writing-for-life · 2 years

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Bi-erasure – A Rant

I am a (somewhat) middle-aged, cis woman.

I am also queer (and no, you don’t get to decide whether l am allowed to refer to myself as "queer" or not). I am in what, quite frankly, should be considered a queer relationship because it is not heteronormative, no matter how much people try to assert it is: I am a cisbi woman married to a cishet man. A man who knows I am bisexual, a man who knows about my past romantic and sexual relationships with both men and women. A man who fell in love with me like I fell in love with him. Two people who connected on a deep level. Simple, isn’t it?

Maybe not that simple: Because I happened to choose him as the partner I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, l am automatically seen in a heteronormative light: I surely must be a straight woman if l am married to a man, even more so since I popped out a child along the way, right?

That’s a whole lotta assumptions right there, and honestly, it’s about time we stop having one glance at people’s relationships and then pretend we understand what they are, or indeed who they are.

I wouldn’t even say anything if I weren’t so fucking used to (and pissed off by) bi-erasure for as long as l can remember. And I dare say from both inside and outside the LGBTQ+ community.

My most common experiences (disclaimer: The irony of having to label people in this post to describe my experience or to make a point is not lost on me)?

Some cishet men looked at me through what can only be referred to as the “male gaze”: There is an idea that getting off with another woman is “hot”. They might even propose a threesome (they’re just curious, you know?), but ultimately, they have you down as straight (potentially “bicurious” at most). When it came to longer romantic relationships, their fragile ego often started to show, and they felt threatened by someone (a woman) they thought they couldn’t “compete” with. Yes, even if there was absolutely no romantic or sexual interest present (in said woman).

Some cishet women (sort of passive-aggressively, of course) assumed I was a slut, even if they knew feck all about me. Because if you are sexually attracted to both men and women, you surely must be insatiable, right? Or they thought I might be hitting on them just because I’m bi. I hate to break it to you, but I’m not sexually or romantically interested in everyone who walks on two legs (are you?), so calm the fuck down.

However, what always stung most was the bi-erasure from inside certain parts of the LGBTQ+ community.

I have to admit that most of my gay or trans friends and acquaintances were never much of an issue (notable exceptions aside, but I’m talking about trends in my community). They were, by and large, either supportive or simply not interested. And I actually somewhat like the latter because it just gives me permission to be (not that we should need anyone’s permission) and sees me for what I am: Human.

Radfem and/or TERFy lesbians (NB: I am not saying all lesbians, just to preemptively prevent those with poor reading comprehension from suffering a heart attack) were often a different subject altogether. I could tell you stories about trying to claim me as “one of us”, saying I was betraying who I truly was (a lesbian, of course. Yeah, but no), insinuating I was “fucking the enemy” (I kid you not), and other niceties. All wrapped up with a massive bow of radical feminist bullshit to thinly veil their hatred of men (that included trans women and gays, who were either all considered rapists or pedophiles. Sure, sure…). Or not to veil it at all, but to actually justify it.

I have always considered myself feminist. I have a daughter who is truly deserving of everything good the world has to offer, and I fight tooth and nail for that, but labelling whole groups as “enemies” is just… nah, I won’t even go there.

Long story short:

We do exist.

We’re not “confused” or “just curious”.

We know what we want.

We aren’t any less bi if we happen to choose a life partner that makes our relationship look outwardly “heteronormative”. That’s just love – it hits you randomly in the gut.

We don’t go: “Well, I’m bi, but I better make sure my partner doesn’t make me look straight so I don’t lose my street-cred.”

We aren’t interested in your agendas. They are yours, so stop claiming us as something we are not to further your ideas or ideologies.

Stop bi-erasure…

#bisexual #bi erasure #lgbtq+#cisheteronormativity #heteronormativity #personal rant #stop bi erasure #queer #queer community #bi and proud

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artsandlit · 2 years

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I've been thinking about borgs.

How so called identity politics quantify everyone by broad demographics. As if gender, race, and sexual orientation, in themselves, are a person's identity. They are factors in who you are of course. Do some lose their personal identity by the intolerance of their demographic? In others' eyes, certainly. You're attractive or ugly, fat or skinny. Asian, Native American, Mexican, Hispanic, black, white. Christian, Jewish, atheist, Buddhist, Pagan. Male, female, young, old, straight, gay. Funny, dumb, smart, stupid, friendly, mean, weird. Wealthy or poor. Crazy or sane. Deprived or priveleged.

Of course others will categorize and label. But to yourself. Is there anybody in there? A person who transcends the labels? I won't claim to know others' experiences.

To decry the negation of individuality is sometimes termed white privelege or white fragility which, in my view, is an obvious tactic to shame those who resist creepy cult-think. But maybe we should just accept what we're told.

I barely knew my father who was hospitalized when I was 6. At ten was the year I lost him for good to defenestration. The manic depressive shadow literally went out the window. That same year I almost bit the bullet myself, by choice.

Instead, I survived in poverty through real family madness, abuse, neglect, and trauma, chaos as we lived in several states and different towns and cities throughout my early years. I don't even know how many schools I went to. What I lived with was not the vanilla talkshow fodder of alcohol and other drugs, but the immediate and constant company of overt insanity.

In my case the largely intangible but potentially fatal struggle and resulting desocialization actually *honed* a sense of personal identity even as it made me realize on my own from a young age that what matters about a person is not their gender, sexual preference, or other potentially divisive surface aspects. What matters is the heart and mind of the individual. How they conduct themselves and treat others. With or without elements of "white privelege," like the time I was surrounded by cholos in a high school bathroom in California.

In my case a personal sense of self is not privelege or fragility at all. Let others determine your identity if you like. Mine is all I've ever had.

Welcome to the politiborg. 💣 🤖🤖🤖🤖🤖

#politics #the borgs #star trek #identity politics #individually #privelege #critical race theory

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enigmatic-bumble · 5 years

Note

XD remembering my warning eyy? Its like giving you chocolate so you can taste some of that deliciousness then snatching it away, except you get to keep the chocolate but then it turns bitter because how dare you think cuteness is all your gonna get, angst will stain its pureness. Ha, new idea. Shouta and Hizashi go through all the things they did and places they went to with Shirakumo on his funeral day to re-live it all. - Ari

YOU AND JIN BOTH TAG TEAMED ON ME

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YOU BOTH TIMED IT I CAN'T

(ಥ⌓ಥ)

AND WHAT YOU WROTE

That's it, you both killed me

#jin!!!#ari!!!#asks #WHYYYYYYYYY #IM CRYINV #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #JUST #HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #MY HEART #MY POOR FRAGILE GAY HEART #yall just have no mercy #im gonna go scream #weather boys #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi #shirakumo oboro

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shelobussy · 3 years

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ASH’S TMA HURT/COMFORT/FLUFF REC LIST

For the gays. (And @damcrows who’s been dead for the past 24 hours. Rest in peace babe. Read some gay fic. Deny the inevitability of canon. <3)

___

the end, but the start (of all things that are left to do) by @ajkal2

Jon wakes up.

aka. mag200 tore out my heart

(Very smol, very short, very spoiler. Def recommend for anyone who just finished the podcast.)

remind me how to smile by @tamerofdarkstars

Jon is probably fine, just hiding out somewhere while the whole murder thing blows over and that's... fine. Martin is fine with that explanation. Really. He's got plenty to distract himself - like listening through the entire What the Ghost episode library, for example. Or watching Georgie Barker's Instagram livestreams.

(Yea this was in the last rec list, but you don’t understand THE ADMIRAL GIVES CUDDLES)

Chamomile by Dribbledscribbles

Whatever the ex-tea was, if it really had ever been that last bag of chamomile Martin claimed he’d found tucked in the back of the cupboard, it was fast now.

Martin had tried catching it, chasing it, blocking its way with shoebox lids and plates and an upended footstool, but the thing was just too quick. Jon knew as well as Knew that he might have left off the attempts completely if not for the creature’s preferred game.

The game was, See How Many Times I Can Push Martin Towards Cardiac Arrest Before He Comes at Me with The Broom.

(Scottish Honeymoon Era. Adorable and weird. A vampire gets harassed.)

hey stranger by @ennuijpg

It’s a late night Tesco run, how eventful could it be? It’s not like Martin is going to run into his boss who’s wearing something absurdly different from usual and get the most acute form of whiplash possible from seeing him, right?

(Martin runs into Jon at the grocery store and has an existential crisis.)

roses roses, roses. by @judesstfrancis

Rose scented laundry detergent. Running into Jon in the breakroom. Running into Jon on his way back to his desk. Rose scented detergent. Running into Jon. Roses. Jon. Roses, roses, roses.

(Canon enemies to friends to lovers au-ish. Martin POV. Very pining much sweet.)

go softly by doomcountry

And there is nothing else besides this.

(More hurt/comfort than fluff. Scottish Honeymoon Era. Mild eye mutilation.)

Not Alone by @backofthebookshelf

After the coffin, Daisy and Jon are both fragile. They hold each other up.

(Post-buried Jon&Daisy starter pack. Very hurt/comfort.)

trust my love by antlsepticeye

“you… you’re real, aren’t you?” jon whispers, the fog slowly dissipating from his mind. “it is not a trick?”

“i’m here,” martin says softly, reaching up to grab jon’s hand that was resting on his cheek, intertwining his fingers with jon’s and squeezing. he moves jon’s hand to martin’s chest, resting it over his heart. “you’re alright. i’m alright. take your time, love. let’s just take some deep breaths, okay?”

(TOUCHSTARVED JON HAS ENTERED THE CHAT.)

reaching out by Athina_Blaine

By the time things settled, when Martin had finally managed to crack through his cold shell, feel some of his old self returning to him in bits and pieces, they had found their little routine.

One that had the two of them sleeping in the same bed, making breakfast, going to the mart. Where Jon reached for his wrist while they slept, and Martin luxuriated in the gentle warmth of his fingers.

But not one where Martin reached back. One that had Martin kissing Jon awake or taking his hand over the breakfast table, because ... Martin never had the courage to try. And then it never became a part of the routine.

And Martin desperately wanted it to be.

Martin and Jon have an important conversation.

(More Scottish Honeymoon Era for the soul. Hurt/comfort/fluff.)

Belabor by @janekfan

Jon's given the position of Archivist and is falling apart at the seams. Tim and Sasha are upset and playing games. Elias is overbearing and manipulative.

And poor Martin is stuck cleaning up the mess.

(THEE first fic I ever read for tma. Season 1, hurt/comfort/fluff, and hints of Jmartin. janekfan is the absolute master of seasons 1-3 hurt/comfort. This is my favorite, but pls check out the rest of their fics.)

tea, blankets, and a damnable stubborn attitude by ivelostmyspectacles

“Are you really gonna stay here and pester Jon all evening?”

“I’m not pestering him,” Martin retorted, sounding vehement if not busy going through the cupboards. “I’m heating up soup.”

“Oh, you might as well make him another cup of tea while you’re at it.”

“Oh, good idea.”

Jon shot Tim a withering look.

(The one where Jon is ill, Martin makes tea and they watch doctor who together. Fluff 1000%.)

A Kind Hand by @voiceless-terror

Jonathan Sims was adjusting just fine, thank you very much.

In which a minor workplace spill causes Jon to realize that he might have friends.

(Ah yes, the other master of seasons 1-3 fic aka voiceless-terror being my other fav author in the fandom. This one is also season 1 hurt/comfort/fluff.)

A Weather In The Flesh by @cuttoothed

"There is a span of years where Jon doesn’t touch anyone other than the occasional hand shake. It’s not so bad. He’s never been someone who’s needed physical affection."

Jon has never been any good at making people want to stick around.

(More touched starved Jon! Much hurt/comfort!)

Something Old, Something New by @cirrus-grey

Months have passed, and everyone is doing better than they were. Daisy and Basira are getting married, Melanie is feeling her old self, Georgie is as much herself as she has ever been, and even Jon has stabilized on his wild fall away from humanity. Everyone is doing better.

Well. Almost everyone.

(Daisy/Barsira wedding! Melanie is a bitch and we love her! Jmartin dance! Post-canon (almost) everyone lives!)

The Weight of Love by @voiceless-terror

Jon is a restless sleeper. Martin attempts to adjust.

(The fic where Jon is literally me and Martin attempts to sleep for 1k words.)

The Art of Conversation by @voiceless-terror

"Do you ever stop talking?"

Jon has a complicated relationship with words. Difficulties come and go.

(Jon has adhd and Martin is in love.)

Novelty by @backofthebookshelf

Jon experiences A Sexual Attraction; Martin has A Concern. They figure it out.

(Any fic that explores the ace spectrum is a 10/10. We stan all ace interpretations of jon on this blog.)

Half a Hug by Dathen

I know you weren’t going to hurt me, I trust you, he said again and again. And then a different kind of fear shone through, hollow and echoing: “Please don’t stop touching me."

Or: Life is hard when you're touch-starved but have trauma related to your closest friend. Spoilers through TMA 132.

(Honestly bless every author who saw jon&daisy and was like. They’re siblings. No I will not elaborate.)

the loneliness never left me (but i can put it down in the pleasure of your company) by Athina_Blaine

It was about Martin making Jon feel safe, treasured, and loved. And it had been so, so long since anyone made him feel that way.

And, in the face of it all, Jon was starting to flounder.

(At this point I just need to make separate rec list for Scottish Honeymoon Era.)

you can watch me corrode by scarletfish

"So, how long have you been pulling this shit then?"

"I… excuse me?" Jon’s indignant, certain she can’t mean what he thinks she means.

"When was the last time you ate?"

(Georgie decides Jon and Melanie need a normal day off. Jon learns that he and Melanie have more in common than he thought.)

(Look, Melanie isn’t my favorite person in tma, but she and Jon are like THE SAME PERSON and I adore fics that elaborate on their relationship.)

Out of the Wind, In From the Cold by @ostentenacity

There are two bedrooms in the safehouse, and two beds.

For a moment, Jon considers asking to share, but decides against it with a wince. “I really loved you,” Martin had told him. Loved. Past tense. And Martin doesn’t exactly have a lot of choices right now in terms of company; it would be cruel to demand he play at feelings he no longer has just to make Jon happy.

(For a moment, Martin considers asking to share. But he dismisses the idea with a shake of his head. Jon has already done so much for him. Martin isn’t about to ask for more, especially not when it’s something he doesn’t really need. He has his right mind back, and he has Jon’s friendship. That should be enough for him. It’ll have to be.)

---

Jon thinks that Martin doesn’t love him. Martin thinks that Jon doesn’t love him. They do not, of course, discuss this. Unrequited love is already awkward enough, right? No need to dwell on it.

(THEE SCOTTISH HONEYMOON ERA FIC. IT’S ABOUT THE PINING, BEING MUTUALLY OBLIVIOUS AND FALLING IN LOVE. 10000/10.)

I Do by @voiceless-terror

“I, um- this was supposed to be a lot more romantic, I swear.” Martin looks down at the dirty bar floor. “I had it all planned out, I-I was going to take you somewhere nice, and then we’d go for a walk in the square- I’ll still do it!” He hurries to explain, as if that’s the most pressing part of this situation. “It’ll be really nice, I’ve already hired a photographer-”

In a fit of protectiveness, Martin proposes to Jon.

(Everyone lives, Martin accidentally proposes and Jon is crying in public.)

________

#lmao follow for more fic recs #ash recs #ash's rec list #ash recs fics #tma fic list #tma fics #jmart #jmartin #jon sims #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tma fic recs

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freddiekluger · 3 years

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please drop the essay length analysis Judas and Jesus (extra gay Swedish edition), O great and knowledgeable monarch of our times

alright, you ask i deliver! please excuse any typos, my eyes aren't exactly working rn

welcome to my probably super subjective but correct analysis, aka

Judas Was Right and Jesus Was A Victim (At Least, In Swedish)

Before we get started, a couple points: i’ll try to avoid comparisons to other specific productions, i’ve only seen the other recorded 2012 british version which i didn’t like for reasons including but not limited to the amount of white people with dreadlocks. Also, my understanding of swedish is limited to a couple words and phrases, so most of the lyrics i reference will be english subtitles from Ola Salo’s swedish translation and therefore might not be the most accurate !

There’s so much i could cover in this, but for now i’m going to focus on how jesus and judas are portrayed in the 2014 swedish arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar (JCS) starring Ola Salo as Jesus and Peter Johansson as Judas, along with how this production more implicitly views god.

From the opening number, translated into swedish as En Dimmig Himmelsdröm (A Foggy Heaven’s Dream), Peter Johansson’s acting and semantic differences in the lyrics present us with a deeply sympathetic portrayal of Judas. Looking purely at language, the english equivalent Heaven On Their Minds instantly paints Judas as much more of a faithless doubter- lyrics exclusive to the english version like “all your followers have gone blind / too much heaven on their minds” and “they think you’re the new messiah / and they’ll hurt you when they find they’re wrong” strongly enforce Judas’ main motivation for his actions being that he has less belief in Jesus and God’s plan than any of the other disciples with strong statements judging the other disciples for following him and claiming that Jesus ISN’T the messiah. The swedish translation doesn’t paint exactly the same picture- the focus of Judas’ number becomes his fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, not because he isn’t the messiah (the production remains fairly ambiguous on this point), but because Jesus can’t cope. The root of Judas’ concern comes from fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, and the disciples are referenced as regularly misunderstanding and wilfully twisting Jesus’ words. The swedish equivalent lyrics for the above examples are “they say, “jesus is god’s son” / but you know how people can change” (judas isn’t concerned with truth, just the danger that jesus will be in if the tide turns), and “the kingdom of heaven is within us, that’s what you said / bu they sew it, stitch by stich into some kind of foggy heaven’s dream”. Judas is showing that he HAS been listening and cares for Jesus’ teachings, but ‘they’ [his disciples] are turning them into something else entirely, and Judas’ worries that the support of the masses is fragile at best- the lines “and everything you say gets twisted by your lackeys / it will be anything but what you’ve said” and “you are being used by people who want you in their battle” reinforces this again. When combined with Peter Johansson’s tough but tender performance, in which he dances between disdain for Jesus, the institution, and affection for Jesus, the man (an important distinction), Judas is the harsh realist doing his best to look out for the man he loves. The way he takes Jesus hands and looks at him with love and urgency straight away establishes that his motivations are pure- Judas is doing what he thinks is best, even though it feels like no one will listen to him.

That was long, but En Dimmig Himmelsdröm is the perfect character introduction for Judas. He’s not totally unrecognisable, still delivering digs about ‘Jesus, the little carpenter’s son’, his manner is still rough and at this point we’re not sure whether or not the claims he makes about the disciples have any truth to them, BUT we can also see how much Jesus means to him, an important point that give context to the intensity of their future arguments and really makes the whole story much more heartbreaking.

This brings me to Ola Salo’s Jesus. Delightfully camp and queercoded, Judas describes him as being caught up in his own magic and mystery and buckling under the pressure, and he’s not entirely wrong. Throughout the first act, Jesus basks in the luxuries that being messiah can give him (the oils Mary paid for using disciple funds that were supposed to go towards helping the poor, him absolutely thriving in the shopping cart in What’s the Buzz?), and is shown actively avoiding any reminders of the seriousness of his position. He’s sick of the disciples asking him for a plan, he chooses the comforting Mary, who’s theme consists of telling Jesus everything is okay and he doesn’t need to think about anything, over Judas, who is less perhaps ‘cosy’ but is actively trying to warn and protect Jesus from an awful fate. During The Temple, he starts to crack as he’s overcome by the followers begging him to make him well, fear in his eyes as he raises his arms while frozen on the spot trying to avoid being devoured by the frenzy in desperate need of a messiah. Judas’ point about Jesus buckling under the pressure is starting to look more and more reasonable, and the dashes of showbiz campness add to the sense that much of Jesus is a persona constructed for the masses to give himself enough distance to prevent him from being crushed by the weight of God entirely. Jesus, the institution, prances around, lays his hands on his followers, and projects an air of easygoing calm. Jesus, the man, is scared and alone, and Jesus, the man, really comes out in Last Supper, but before we get there, I want to circle back to the Jesus/Mary/Judas thing.

Jesus, Mary, and Judas are presented as a love triangle: so much so, that Judas seeing Mary sing of her love for Jesus (I Don’t Know How To Love Him) is actually played as the inciting incident that sends him to the pharisees. Judas, the picture of the jealous lover, storms onto the scene, breaking them up and attempting to kiss Jesus, who instead shoves him to the ground in disdain. Judas, who is perhaps a little controlling, realises that any influence he had over Jesus has gone, and it’s likely a combination of jealousy and the knowledge that Jesus won’t stop that prompts him to head to the pharisees. In his meeting with the pharisees (known in english as Damned For All Time, although that phrase doesn’t appear once in the swedish), Judas’ expresses outright that “I’m the one who sees / Jesus, he can’t handle it anymore” “the truth is that this hysteria is making him lose control”, once he can get past explaining how much this plan of action feels like a last resort. He never even verbally or physically accept the pharisees’ offer of money, he denies it twice before it is eventually thrown over him after he reluctantly gives them the date and time to find Jesus- we never even see him pick it up, unlike other productions which show Judas grabbing for the cash and place a higher emphasis on Judas making sure he ‘won’t be damned for all time’, painting Judas as far more self serving. When it comes to Jesus, Judas is active- he’s running around trying to help, caressing him, embracing him, grabbing his hand, kissing him. They share countless moment of intimacy, especially at the start, establishing the fondness between them instead of instantly jumping to their conflict. When it comes to Mary (and admittedly, this is partially because she’s a secondary character- don’t get me wrong I still love her and Gunilla Backman does a brilliant job), she’s much more passive. Other than the much more gentle kisses in I Don’t Know How To Love Him and her penchant for dabbing Jesus’ forehead, she’s mostly just ‘there’. She cares for Jesus after the fact, and even when performing acts of intimacy like the oil and the kiss, she maintains a lot of physical distance- her songs touch on this as, much like Jesus (admittedly for different reasons), she actively distances herself from feelings to protect herself, so naturally she literally places distance between herself and the object of her love.

This brings me back to Last Supper, Gethsemane ( I Only Want to Say), and the kiss of death that broke all of our hearts. Throughout this segment, this is when Jesus, the man, really comes through, and it’s devastating. In Last Supper, he properly expresses the sheer amount of loneliness he feels, reiterating how he feels everyone will forget about him once he’s gone, and doesn’t really care about him as a man (”for you, my blood is not worth more than wine / for you, my body is not worth more than bread” “you will have forgotten me as soon as i give up my life”). This devolves into the disciples fighting each other and, you guessed it, ignoring him. For the first time, Jesus meaningfully lets out his anger, and as it turns to Judas, Judas does the same. Because of the set up of their complicated romantic relationship and the stakes involved, the amount of personal attacks and anger that comes out of Jesus and Judas’ repeated fights (which get physical) make complete sense- Jesus’ frustrations come from the fact that his entire fate has been predetermined and to him, Judas is just another instrument in the ways he’s been controlled (both with Judas being his betrayer, but also the way that Judas’ constant advice and interference with Jesus’ life (most obviously, the mary thing) are acted by Ola Salo as becoming increasingly frustrating to Jesus)- these frustrations are directed at their real cause, God, in Gethsemane. Judas’ frustrations come from the fact that no matter how hard he tries to help Jesus and keep him safe, Jesus keeps rejecting his efforts resulting in “all that we’ve built up [being] destroyed”- Judas’ heart hasn’t just been broken by Jesus rejecting him romantically, but on every level. Here, he’s actually shown to be the disciple most passionate about helping people practically and long term, being the only one concerned about Mary taking money which was supposed to help people, manipulated by the pharisees with the promise of doing good for the masses, and criticising Jesus for how they could be doing so much for people, ending his part of Last Supper with “every time i look at you i ask myself why you let all your things go so wrong? / all i ever wanted was to help you”.

This is also the point where Judas’ claims about the disciples are essentially confirmed, and this productions intent to portray Judas as more of a tragic hero become absolutely clear. In the english version, the disciples chorus remains virtually the same each time it appears, generally being far too calm considering their leader is about to die, revealing their aspirations to be apostles, and their intent to write the gospels to be remembered. the swedish translation still achieve this, but with variations from chorus to chorus it becomes much more poignant. i’m just going to stick to ttwo, which are choruses 1 and 3. In chorus 1, lines roughly translate to “i’ve always wanted to be an apostle / life is so nice when you’re saved/ then when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / then everything will be the way we want”- the apostles declaring that life is so good when you’re saved supports Judas’ opening statement that they care more about some idea of heaven than anything else, not to mention ignoring the absolute horrors that Jesus will have to go through to be saved, while the final line about the gospels introduces their intent to change whichever details they need to make ‘everything the way we want’: once again, exactly what Judas warned us of in En Dimmig Himmelsdröm. In chorus 3, taking place after Judas storms out for the last time, these lines change to “never really liked that judas / never saw what jesus saw in him / then, when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / and we’ll angle it so he gets all the blame”. Judas as a sympathetic character is confirmed here, as the disciples straight up admit how they don’t like Judas anyways and intend to write him as a villain (also inadvertently admitting that, since they have to write the gospels to make it look like only Judas’ fault, Judas isn’t really the sole one responsible for everything that is to come). It’s deeply unsettling, and for me was the point where I really began to question how good any of these disciples were, and by extension, how good is this production’s God if his truly sanctified followers are acting like this?

Jesus vents out all of his anger and desperation in Gethsemane. He acknowledges his own powerlessness and begs him to change the plan, but with the dark stage and no response (along with Ola Salo’s spectacular acting) it becomes clear that if anyone is there, they’re certainly not listening (”you, who have all the power / can you please change the plan / for i can already feel the pain burning in me”). It’s worth mentioning that a lot of the imagery in this swedish version is much more intense than the english, both in this song and the production as a whole. Jesus plainly calls god “thoughtless”, begging to understand, and it’s that this point we realise that he agrees with much more of what Judas has been saying than he’s been letting on- Jesus’ faith appears to be the only thing keeping him from listening to Judas and running away. Judas’ messages about people misunderstanding Jesus’ words also come out (”you care that everyone sees / but not that anyone understands”), and his eventual agreeing to die is played less as an inspiring act of faith, and more an act of desperation as he realises, he realise has no other choice. In this song, we see just how much of Judas Jesus has valued and taken on board, and that his air of carefree aloofness which frustrated Judas was, as we’ve already touched on, a complete act. The line “might as well finish what i’ve... what YOU’VE started” is absolutely miserable, reinforcing one of the major themes of this production: the idea that Jesus and Judas were both just ordinary men tormented by futures defined by forces out of their control. Just as Jesus has absorbed Judas’ logic, as an audience so we have, and it’s difficult to view the rest of the play’s events as anything other than an immense and unnecessary act of cruelty.

we’re almost done i promise!

Even knowing what Judas has/will do, Jesus still greets him with love. Judas, still under the impression that Jesus will be okay and that he’s doing what’s best, approaches him with the utmost tenderness, and the kiss is a beautiful signifier of two things. For Jesus, the return of his love for Judas shows his realisation in Gethsemane that Judas isn’t the one who’s sealed his fate and has only being trying to help, it’s god himself who has decided Jesus’ future. For Judas, the kiss shows that despite all of the anger and frustration that has been pouring out of him, he truly does love Jesus, and the way he cradles the scared and alone Jesus to his chest afterwards shows just how much he wishes he could be the one to help him and keep him close. Even with all their arguments and dysfunction, here Jesus and Judas find comfort in each other, and it almost seems like everything will end up alright. It’s in this moment that Judas and Jesus are most identifiable not as enemies, or as villain and hero, but as archetypal lovers from a Shakespearean tragedy. Neither of them set out to hurt each other, but through miscommunications, their own flaws, and external forces (both natural and supernatural), their love is simply never to be. Furthermore, in the following torture and spectacle, everything that Judas predicted for Jesus is about to come true. Another detail I find interesting is the way that Jesus and Judas both sport black nail polish, leather pants, and similar length hair: along with just looking cool as hell, the similarities really reinforce how close they are and how much they influence each other- it feels like a contemporary version of carrying a cameo or a lock of your lover's hair with you, a way for 'star crossed lovers' to keep a piece of their beloved no matter what.

The disaffected persona of Jesus, the institution, comes back as he’s taken by the authorities and subsequently insulted, degraded, and whipped. Also the swedish version of The Arrest, when the chorus starts singing questions, contains this dick joke and I think we all deserve it: “why were you dating a whore? / talk about a huge magic wand!”

Skipping forward to Judas’ Death, this is where both his character and the production’s conception of god beautifully (and miserably) align. When Judas runs to the pharisees, minor semantic changes (along with the genuine concern and great acting from Peter Johansson) reinforce that this Judas genuinely didn’t know that Jesus would be beaten and sentenced to death the way he has been, and Judas’ concern regarding how things look is played less as ‘oh no people will hate ME!’, but how having sentenced the man you love to death is one nightmarish thing, but for everyone to think you did it knowingly and willingly and then congratulate you for it is unthinkable. Where the english shows Judas’ attempting to evade responsibility for Jesus death, the swedish is more focused on Judas’ guilt, horror, and regret. The english “I’d save him all the suffering if I could / don’t believe our good / save him if I could” is swapped in swedish for “If anyone should die here I should / don’t say I’m good / better if I died”. While the english statements are somewhat empty (sure, Judas says he’d save Jesus’ suffering if he could, but he can’t so we’ll never truly know) and are still focused on Judas’ attempt to construct himself as a good guy, the swedish translation has Judas admit his guilt (even if it’s not really his fault), and make the promise of “better if i died” which, given the name of this sequence, he later delivers on. When english Judas sings “Christ, I’d sell out the nation / For I have been saddled with the murder of you”, swedish Judas sings “Jesus, I’ve been deceived / because of my act your blood’s now being spilt”, and instead of ending this first section with “I should be dragged through the slime and the mud”, swedish jesus returns to the theme of character assasination with “i will be cursed as the one behind your murder”.

The swedish translation of the next rework of I Don’t Know How to Love Him also places much more emphasis on Judas’ genuine romantic love for Jesus- we’d be here for hours if i listed everything but here are a few key contrasts. The english has Judas sing “I don’t know how to love him / I don’t know why he moves me”, whereas the swedish has Judas crying while singing “how do I show my love / all I want is to be close to you”. Along with acknowledging Judas already loves Jesus, the entirety of this segment is shifted from Judas singing about Jesus in the third person ‘he’, to a direct address. Judas isn’t performing his sadness, or venting his emotions, he’s emitting one last desperate cry to the man he loves as he sobs on a stage completely shrouded in darkness, and it’s devastating. Peter Johansson lets his voice run raw as he’s belting, and interrupts lines with sobs, and this Judas answers the question of “do you love me too? do you care for me?” with a quiet “no”- Judas is about to go to his death convinced Jesus must hate him, just as Jesus will face his knowing his love inadvertently put him there.

We finally reach Judas’ actual death, and the production’s far more ambiguous (if not negatively geared) depiction of god comes to a head. Judas’ screaming at god the moment he realises that his god essentially forced Judas to be the one to kill Jesus (an act of ultimate cruelty given their love) comes across as horrifying in it’s validity, unlike in other english language productions where it follows the more common characterisation of Judas being an unbeliever who can’t take responsibility for his own actions. When he spits on the ground, screaming “you have murdered me!”, we can’t help but agree- Judas was trying everything he could to stop Jesus from dying, and yet here he is. Most notably, Judas doesn’t set up his own suicide- a noose literally descends from the heavens, already tied, and Judas is literally trapped between the edge of the stage, and the symbol of death behind him. Much like he didn’t choose to kill Jesus, Judas has no choice in his own suicide- it’s suggested to merely be another part of the plan god has for him, and Judas raising his arms to form a crucifixion pose before he finally turns and jumps, disappearing into the depths of the theatre as the rope trails down (somewhat evocative of a leap to hell), highlight the sick joke. Much like Jesus begging in Gethsemane, a plea with god that in anyway implies fault or cruelty is met with silence followed by a death sentence.

When Judas reappears to the broken and bloodied Jesus in Superstar, he appears as more of a twisted hallucination than the literal spirit of Judas. He’s the opposite of everything he was in life, draped in colour, surrounded by red lighting instead of the signature blue, his hair quite literally let down, joking and dancing. Despite singing about him, Judas virtually ignores Jesus for the whole song except when he’s taunting him, snatching his hand away after a broken and desperate Jesus reaches out for the image of his beloved (refuting Judas’ belief that Jesus would die hating him), along with the swedish additions of Judas repeatedly addressing him as “little Jesus”. Where the living Judas was serious, sometimes harsh but always well intention, often paying more attention to Jesus than he received, this Judas is the opposite: light hearted but cruel, not caring about Jesus one bit. It’s somewhat an inversion of the beginning of JCS, where the tormented Judas was constantly reaching out to Jesus, and often met with scorn and insult (see: most of their arguments, this line from Everything’s Alright: “the thought is beautiful but quite unrealistic / yes, even quite stupid”). As the song goes on, and even as Jesus is crucified, the victorious scoring of the Superstar theme ends up reinforcing the cruelty and questioning of god distinctive of this production: Ola Salo’s Jesus is one of the bloodiest Jesus’s (Jesii?) I’ve been able to find, with blood covering his torso, his arms, and all over his face, not in passive dribbles, but violent ‘swooshes’ spreading out from his eyes, emphasising the fear and pain contained within them. As the music suggests how great and wonderful Jesus’ death is, the images straight out of a horror movie before us don’t seem to match up: as both Judas and Jesus question, if no one is understanding what Jesus is saying, why kill him? instead of making a point, you’re ensuring that the falsehoods continue to circulate, unless spreading the true message isn’t really the intent at all. or, simply that Jesus was wrong: his interpretation and teachings of god were far too kind and practical, and the true god really is the one that he briefly saw in the garden of Gethsemane, and that Judas saw before his death- a cruel and vindictive god using them for his own sick purposes. If you're a strong Christian, I'm sure you could watch this production and still believe that God was right (although I think Jesus and Judas being in love counts as blasphemy), but I think in doing so you'd lose part of what makes this production so hard hitting and, as i keep saying, devastating.

that’s pretty much it for this one! i feel like jesus and judas as a queer couple is less significant to this production than the fact that it’s specifically jesus and judas that are in love - they don’t face explicit homophobia as such, although i do think the paratextual and historical associations of queerness (both with them each looking visibly queer, and them as a couple) adds a beautiful dimension by subverting the standard christian teaching of Jesus’ sacrifice as “a love that changed the world” and making the love that truly could have been transformative (and was, to a degree) the love between Jesus and another man, not to mention the way in which queerness is often viewed as radical perfectly upholding the ‘radical’ views of god and the story of Jesus shown in the production. Why wouldn’t the love between two men be the love which has us questioning god, faith, and that which many of us have been taught since birth? Ola Salo has talked about how he’s able to be positive and negative towards christianity, along with how he wanted Jesus and Judas to really represent two sides of the same coin (’faith and intelligence’), and being bisexual along with having alluded to being raised christian (not to mention Breaking Up With God, a song by his band The Ark), it’s not surprising he’s managed to present such a nuanced and layered interpretation of Jesus Christ Superstar that even me, a trans exvangelical, can fall in love with.

UPDATE: @bands-and-hobbits has just let me know that Ola's dad was a priest! Apparently he's said that he liked the organs and the music, but that was all when it comes to christianity, which (when combined with Ola stating in interviews that the JCS soundtrack has been one of his favourite albums since he was 14) makes a lot of sense about the level of familiarity he had with the text giving him confidence to go in and make changes to really capitalised off of some of the themes that are hinted at in the english version- you have enough information to understand how everything works together, but aren't so dedicated to preserving belief that you feel you can't improve/change things (and my god are we glad he did)

#thank you if you made it this far!#also the inherent rhythm in swedish as a language just makes all of the songs sound better i'm gonna say it #english is really hit and miss when it comes to music and can get especially clunky with musicals requiring exposition #also sorry there's so much i've left out !#anyways enjoy #jesus christ superstar #jesus christ superstar swedish arena tour 2014 #jcs #peter johansson #ola salo #also i have barely edited this so i hope it's coherent

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samissosexyyy · 3 years

Text

Tumblr thought it would be hilarious to delete all my work and not let me answer requests :').

YES I SHALL WRITE THE PLATONIC ANGRY PARENTS-

And thank you-I woke up and was talking to my friend in the morning and my brain just: jojo villain yandere dads. Mudad mudad mudad mudad anger.

Anyways, here they are- Do these even count as headcanons???? I dunno-

Dio, Part 1

Vampire form of course.

First thing first, We all know he'd be a great dad. Protective already, But make him a yandere platonic father? Oh boy, Trust me, You'd be spoiled and treated like royalty.

Now, I'm gonna say in this scenario you were on of his victims child. I'll say you'll be around 5 to eight.

Somehow you managed to catch his eye, Is it because your parent was just as bad as his? You reminded him of his mother? Or maybe you resemble him, and have three moles on your ear. Or, perhaps, A younger joestar? Either way, You somehow had him feeling like a father, and, according to one of my friends, Araki had said DIO would treat his children like they were royalty, And they would be so spoiled.

So, Mudad would end up taking you in, kidnapping, whichever honestly. He'd be holding you like a loving pet owner would, if you got scared, he'd probably be confused. Honestly he'd have you turned into a vampire quickly, as he knew he wouldn't be able to have children as a Vampire.

Truthfully, I think you'd end up never noticing how he'd occasionally pull you closer, or how he'd glare at anyone your age or older going near you. Or how he'd give you some strict rules, Like no dating anyone. E v e r. And why would you ever want to hurt your papa like that?! You wouldn't want to do that, right?! Of course you wouldn't! Dio knew you'd never betray him like that!!

Truth be told, he'd guilt you if you tried to go against his words. But punishments? No no, He'd never actually purposefully hurt you, Unlike his love interest, he'd NEVER want to cause you pain ever. He'd hate himself and wouldn't forgive himself for years. Centuries. Infact, he'd beg for your forgiveness.

The Pillarmen

And satannnaaaaa

First of all, You aren't a pillarchild. You'd most likely be some kind of god, vampire, or a young hamon learner. Or even related to the Joestars or Ceasar.

So, Let's say you're immortal who can walk in the sun. We all know you'd be the joestar side, Right? So, That means you'd end up hating or feeling pity for the pillarmen. First, You'd probably end up trying to make Santana hally when he awakens. Unlike with Joseph, He'd probably know not to attempt to attack you. Let's say you have symbols like Dio Over heaven, We all know how that would work.

You'd end up as a being worshipped by them, probably kidnapped after they destroy the Joestars.

Let's say they defeated Joseph and the others, and you were still a deity, You'd most likely be weaker then them in this scenario. They'd probably treat you like a kitten at first, like a baby before they all felt a connection. As if you were a child of their own, so they'd give you rules. And we all know how rules go with yanderes.

Let's say uh- you fell for a mortal.

"No. No."

[Crush name has fallen from a high place.]

"DADS WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUU-"

"NO CUSSING IN THIS CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!"

or something like that :')

Honestly, You'd have bird dad, and a bunch of other dads. Santana would honestly be like the cool big brother honestly. You'd probably want horns too so-

They would totally buy you halloween horns to put on your head so you'd be happy baby

Now, Hamon user? They'd probably find you like a cute animal at first, probably going easy on you like it was a game of tag. Soon, they'd realize how weak and fragile you are, After all, You are just starting hamon. They'd probably kidnap you to spite Joseph and his side at first, before... Well, You didn't expect to become a vampire and treated like royalty when all you've been treated like is uh... Considering Lisalisa is your coach, I'd say you'd be happy if it was someone else doing this for you.

Josephs sibling? WOAH Joseph, When did you get a cute sibling? Pfft, Not your sibling anymore, They just adopted your ex sibling nerd.

But, All jokes aside, They'd probably be surprised that you were more mature then your brother, and...you sorta resemble a certain Coach... Oh, Humans all look the same, haha.

They'd probably kidnap you infront of Joseph just to make him feel guilt and rage, After all, Why not get their prized treasure and make Joseph angry? They'd give you more rules, until Joseph was gone, of course.

And, sadly, Not even you crying would stop them from making you into a vampire infront of your big brother, breaking both of your hearts.

Don't worry you got ice cream later smh.

Ceasars sibling? Mini pancake? Haha, They'd kidnap you as soon as they felt parent like tendencies. No denying them, infact, they'd make sure you saw ceasar get defeated by the ro ck. But don't worry! You have new parents and a brother-! Haha, Poor you.

Part 3 DIO AKA mudad!

Honest to god you'd probably have to be a stand user with a weak or strong stand, or, you were one of his kids he had with a lucky woman who survived and got a naked polaroid of him as a 'wow you lived! Congrats, now go have my kid lmao' gift. Or, Maybe you were a normal kid who was kind to him, even if he,,,, did some questionable murder infront of you. And maybe you were a young

Now, Let's say you were a strong stand user. He'd end up wanting to use a flesh bud until he realized... He never had a kid, that he knows of, and decided to raise you! At first he'd be upset you had a strong stand like your mudad, but realized you could protect yourself from those dreadful joestars! Congrats, You became a Brando! :) How unlucky, Considering this DIO would probably force vampire masks onto you, or even using fleshbuds as a threat. Either way, You'll always be papas baby!

Yoshikage kira.

Like I said in my first post of this, He'd want to have a nice average life. You having a stand wouldn't be a problem, Since he'd probably convince you Josuke and the others are awful and rude.

Josukes sibling? Well, He'd end up telling you he can help your brother with his murder issue if you come with him. You don't exactly have a choice since Killer queen would easily overpower you if you had disagreed. You'd end up being a normal and peaceful child before long, Infact, He'd have to pretend he had adopted you behind his 'wifes' back.

Hayotos friend he never talks about? Congrats, You are now stuck with a crazy and loving father! And a mother, I suppose. And you get your best friend as a brother! You'd never be able to leave, how sad. But, You'd have your new mom and your dad to talk to-! And killer queen cuddle time.

Now, Let's say you were his own kid. Wowzers! You think its normal for your father to bring women hands home, after all, You are pretty young and your father told you most adults do this. Ah. How enjoyable.

Doppio/Diavolo

Oh dear. You poor child.

Either you were related to trish, and he somehow felt like you wouldn't be a problem before they felt more of a father love towards you, Most likely somehow getting rif of the traitors and your big sister.

"Where's big sister?"

"Don't worry about her, She's spending time with your mother."

Smh quit LIEING you jERK!

But seriously, Doppio would be like the fun mom asking you if you'd like bake cupcakes in his spare time! Read you bed time stories and whatnot! Diavolo would be awkward and "wanna play baseball or whatever kids like to do these days?" Awkward dad alert.

"My kid is fine!"

The kid they kidnapped/raised:

Casually trying to beat another kid with a baseball.❤💚💛

Honestly they'd insult everyone elses kids while here their kid is, casually scared of baseball.

Pucci

Papa priest! We all know he'd adopt you! I head canon him as gay, considering DIO and him were totally a thing.

So, He'd probably have you study Lord DIO bibles, and casually have you hate Jolyne. Probably even give you a stand, And even show you that DIO is the best! Worship! Protect yourself and all that!

Jotaro would probably scare you, so I can see you holding onto Pucci while Jotaro appears anytime, so pucci would infact love it when you snuggle onto him lime a cute kitten. Hell, you even Sneeze like a kitten!

Honestly You'd be kept under watch 24/7, but you'd think it was normal, after all, Your father would mever do something so awful like Those Joestars claim...right?

Diego

Oh wow- dino dad :)

Let's say you were a big fan of his, Then, Well,You wouldn't mind having him as a dad, Now would you? He is your idol, Right? Yeah. Yeah!

He'd probably carry you around upside down, Hot pants just questioning his sanity as he drops you a million times. Hot pants would probably end up carrying you most of the time.

Mama hot pants and father Diego. Y es.

And, Let's say you were traveling with Johnny. Congrats. You've put yourself in a even worse situation considering Diego would become worried and paranoid over those two idiots hurting you! And he hates the idea of his baby boy/girl/child being hurt by barbarians!!!

Even though he'd probably hurt you on accident if I'm gonna be honest.

Kidnapping isn't a very easy job, so of course he had to knock you out! What was he supposed to do?! Ask you to come stay with him forever?! No! Maybe! HuawhuKaia-

Honestly not too many rules, just don't leave his side ever! Except when going to the bathroom. You'll be tied to his horse. No whining >:(.

Funny Valentine

Honestly what did you think he was going to do? Pick some random child? No no, He'd choose the PERFECT child! You were so lucky! Wow! The daughter of the mos powerful man ever! Lucky you, Right?

No. You don't get alone time unless it's you sleeping or bathing. You wear what he wants, and no.

Dating not allowed. Bad. No no no no no.

"No. No dating. Your lips will fall off."

"but mommys lips didn't-"

"Your face will melt off."

Basically you'd be bossed around and treated like royalty, as long as you listen to you dad!

Honestly I don't know if this is headcanons, if if it isn't feel free to scream at me in the comments-

AND I AM SO SORRY ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO ACTUALLY ANSWER, SO I HOPE YOU SEE THIS AND ARE ABLE TO ENJOY IT??? I GUESS???

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