#no this isn't even about the romance they have

[tikvin]

While y'all waiting on your sketches and Eshra's "in game" dialogues lemme talk about Vice for a sec, because I love them with my whole being and unhealthily obsessed.

BG3 SPOILERS AHEAD

VICE (he/they/it)

Mechanically, spore druid, flavouring him as just some disgusting necromancing swamp devil, not actually tying him to any circles or balance obsessed folk.

Vice is quite emotionless and blunt, some would say even cruel. "When you out of my sight — you don't exist" type of person. So far, the only durge who flat out made conscious decision to kill Karlach, as he couldn't care less that she's just a tiefling, if that what Wyll's mission is, then he better do it and quit whining (tbf if Vice met Karlach first then Wyll would be the one dying, I just forgot that was a possibility lol.) Vice just doesn't care much for negotiations in these confrontations. They have a passive attitude when it comes to confrontations with his companions, he's more amused than anything, when he's being threatened, suddenly feeling strangely confident and patronizing, as if intentionally provoking to bigger conflict. It probably would get better in act 3, but right now he's quite an asshole.

I wouldn't say he isn't capable of understanding emotions and moral dilemmas, but he's driven mostly by his own whims and wants. He recognizes when he killed without any good reason, but he doesn't necessarily feel bad about his kills. He might do or not do something just because he feels like it, even if he knows it might hurt someone, he doesn't care, unless it's someone deeply close to him or someone he is very curious about, which is hard to achieve.

He haven't got there yet with him, but considering how his relationships with Shadowheart look rn — she's in quite dangerous area with the whole nightsong deal, as Vice couldn't give two shits about her (or anyone else's) secrets and just doesn't ask companions about their lives until they speak about it themselves. So Shadowheart haven't got a chance to tell him anything about her worship or herself. That makes her distant to him, which makes him not give much of a shit, considering nightsong is not only the key for Thorm's immortality but also a potential strong ally. The attempt to kill Lae'Zel also doesn't do Shadowheart any favours in Vice's eyes, as he enjoys company of those who are more straightforward like Lae'Zel, because if you want something from him — you better tell as it is, and not dance around the subject. That is why he's most close to Minthara and Lae'Zel, while being more prickly to Gale, Shadowheart and Jaheira.

Vice is yet another durge who doesn't care much about their lust for blood, nor concerned by their own actions. The only thing he strongly doesn't like about it is losing control, but he is curious about his past.

Concept of romantic relationship is a bit alien to him, as is any sexual relationships. Yet again, it's not like he's not capable, considering how it is with Bhaal, I'd say Vice probably was a huge horndog before amnesia, but after the incident he just didn't give much of a thought to it, since there are bigger problems at hand. His level of understanding the romance will actually depend on if he kills Isobel or not. If Vice won't do it, and my favourite durge camp scene happens — Vice will be kinda pushed to think about it for a moment, when Skeletaris make comments on whatever companion that will be. That would make him dig deeper into his everyday time with that companion and consider what his feelings are and does he even have them.

If Vice kills Isobel and gets power — he gets more emotionless and aloof, mindless killing will be much easier, just like it would be easier to betray close friends for power or just for his own fun. (And the latter even Minthara won't approve of, considering her opinion on killing without purpose).

Would've probably went with the whole Bhaal biz if it wasn't for losing control over his body (After Karessa, he unconsciously grown to absolutely despise any sort of helplessness and lack of control over his own body). So he most likely will be the most questionable "redeemed" dark urge.

#original character #oc #durge oc #durge #bg3 dark urge #dark urge #tiefling

[tokyo-debunkers-headcanons]

can I get a frostiem boys with a super shy ™️ mc!?!? I really enjoy your hcs btw ^^!!

Thank you so much! Thank you all for reading them! I'm gonna take these hcs in more of a romantic context just be aware!

JIN KAMURAI

Jin is used to people, typically girls, acting all shy around him. He never expected his partner to be shy as well.

He himself isn't really a shy guy. He keeps to himself sure, but he's got too much cash money and charisma to be shy.

He doesn't mind doing the talking for his partner as well if they need it, but there are times when his patience is a little shorter than other days, so watch out.

He doesn't really like PDA so don't expect any gossip about that, he's more affectionate behind closed doors when its just him and them. What can I say, man likes his privacy.

TOHMA ISHIBASHI

Tohma finds his partners shyness quite cute actually. It brings out a protectiveness in him.

Seeing as he does most things for Jin, he doesn't mind adding his partners wishes onto that playe but please, give this mans a break every now and then.

He will 100% tease them and make them turn tomato red for the hell of it, let's be fair.

Here's another one that isn't necessarily into PDA but he's fine with hand holding while they both walk somewhere or carrying things for his partner.

KAITO FUJI

This is one that clashes a little bit. We all know Kaito is a loud mouth so as soon as he found himself a partner, we all know he's screaming it from the rooftops. If his partner asked him to knock it off however....let's just say he'd do his best.

Kaito thinks he wants like a Disney Channel movie type of romance. Big gestures, matching outfits, pet names, etc. So I think a shy partner would be a bit of a challenge.

There would need to be a LOT of communication for him to finally tone it down to suit his partners pace. He will however listen to their criticism, doing his best not to take it to heart, and actually take their concerns seriously.

He may be a goof, but I'm sure his granny made sure he knew how to respect someone's boundaries. But when his partner isn't there, he will sing their praises, no matter what.

LUCAS ERRANT "LUCA"

I think Luca would be one of the easier ones to adjust to having a shy partner. He's not really an attention seeker. He's more focused on his brother than anything else.

If anything, i think he'd be even more protective of his partner than normal. Making sure that they're okay and that they'll be okay of he's not there.

He always has his phone ringer on in case their partner needs something, even if it's small. If his partner needs help then he's gonna help damnit! Even of it's just ordering food at the cafeteria!

As for PDA, he's too proper, and I'm sure that DA has some kind of rule against PDA, so he wouldn't want to risk it. He will however hold their hand with a smile. At the end of the day he'd do anything if it meant the safety and happiness of his partner.

#tokyo debunker #frostheim #headcanons #jin kamurai #tohma ishibashi #kaito fuji #lucas errant #luca #i realized i may have forgotten to tag the last post or two #damn it smol #oh well

[acourtofthought]

I don't know if I'm being petty, but I like to think that some of Elain's actions toward Azriel are just foreshadowing for Elucien's dynamic. For example, Lucien is very thoughtful about his choices for Elain's gifts, and Elain is invested in the presents she gives to others, including Azriel, even if it's in the form of a prank. This makes me think that receiving gifts will be one of their main love languages.

The scene where Elain called Azriel's scars beautiful could mean that if Lucien still holds any insecurities regarding his scars, it'd be no problem at all for his mate to help him realize how gorgeous he is, inside and out.

And, most of all, the theme of choice would fit so much better in an Elucien romance. I mean, Azriel isn't the one banned from two courts, prohibited to see his mother, exiled in a strange land, the one who has only two humans (who will die in a few decades compared to a fae immortal life) as his only friends, and he's definitely not the one being ignored by his mate and fearful of her rejection. If there's a character who deserves (plot-wise) to be chosen, it's definitely Lucien.

Besides, it would make so much sense with Elain's and Lucien's characters and with the development of their relationship. The fact that Lucien respects her time and space (or his passivity, as some like to call it) allows Elain to make the choice of pursuing the bond when she feels comfortable and secure enough. She'd also have more agency than her sisters in the beginning of their relationships.

But these are just thoughts.

Thank you for your blog and your theories and thoughts. You make me feel hopeful not only for an Elucien's endgame, but also that they really have the chance to get the next book. You have been a light in the end of this three-years-length tunnel.

P.S. I also have a guess that the announcement will be on May 1st. Hope we are right!

Also, the scene where Elain called Az's scars pretty could actually have been Elain calling his siphons pretty because Feyre wasn't sure what she was looking at.

However, I do agree that Elain is going to find Lucien's face devastatingly handsome and the reason for that kind of ties into her mother. Which sounds weird but I'll try to explain.

Her mother made assumptions about her, that she did not dream beyond her pretty dresses and gardens and that she would marry for love and "beauty". So of course, Elain tried to follow those expectations, getting engaged to exactly who her mother would have imagined for her.

I know Elain loved Graysen and probably found him handsome but he seems cookie cutter. Even Feyre said, he was sort of the human ideal of a lord come to sweep a maiden off her feet.

Lucien's face isn't perfect. He's handsome no doubt but he has long hair (no proper mother would approve of that), a scar running down his face and his eye. He is not the image of a baby faced Lord set to inherit his fathers estate someday. He's cruelly beautiful and looks dangerous and, we're all human here, that's going to thrill the "good girls" which everyone assumes Elain to be. Graysen is the kind of guy you have missionary sex with while the lights are out. Lucien is the kind of guy you are willing to do anything, anywhere with and that's probably a bit overwhelming for Elain given her upbringing. Right now, she's still stuck in the past, how she was raised, the kind of guy her mother proclaimed she would marry rather than embracing what lights her up like a pinball machine but I have no doubt once she does break free she's going to make sure he knows exactly how appealing she finds him because of the scars, the hair, the eye. Because of how it all comes together.

And I agree regarding the gifts! I think we see bits of Elain's personality around members of the IC but she never fully blooms, it's like a quick flash then it's gone. I could see Elain and Lucien teasing one another on regular days, silly gifts, sweet little gifts, but the important days I think will be when they reserve the really thoughtful, heartfelt gifts for.

With choice, I wonder if it's so much about that as fight.

(that sounds weird too but I wasn't sure how to word it).

What I mean by that is Lucien was chosen by Jesminda. He was chosen by Tamlin. He was chosen by many friends of which we're told he has many. He was chosen by the LoA as her favorite son. The problem is nobody fought to keep him.

The same with Elain. She was chosen by Graysen, she was "chosen" by Azriel, she was chosen by the chef and servants who wanted to do nice things for her, she was chosen by her many friends. But, none of them fought for her either. When things got hard they walked away.

Lucien and Elain are parallel in that they're just accepting life as it happens to them, trying to accept that when one door closes (to their dismay) and another opens, they roll with it even if they're not happy. They haven't learned to fight for themselves, possibly because they are used to not being fought for and as a result they try not to ask for much because they realize how expendable they are to others.

But in their book, I think they'll push past that to fight for what they do want and they will fight for one another. Lucien has been doing that so far when it comes to Elain. He is the one person who despite the odds did not walk away from her. Graysen gave up after Elain was turned. Az gave up easily, moved right onto feeling calm because of another female, admiring another female, thinking of another females eyes light up, even though Elain was probably upset after his rejection for the simple fact that any rejection hurts. But Lucien though he hasn't pushed her, has quietly fought for her for two years, by showing that he is still loyal to her and only her. And I imagine we'll also see Elain begin to fight for Lucien. Fighting against those who have wronged him, fighting for him to understand that he's not guilty for Jesminda's death or what happened to Feyre, etc.

Your last paragraph before the P.S. (May 1, May 1!!!) was so incredibly sweet and I wish I had better words to thank you for it.

I hope you have a fantastic day and I appreciate your message!

#elain archeron #elucien #lucien vanserra #pro elucien #pro elain archeron #pro lucien vanserra #elucien supremacy #elain x lucien #elucien headcanon #character deep dive

[redrum-alice]

Some HCs about the FreaKey couple even though I dont play the game...please dont kill me for this lolololol...

A.B.A gets jealous of other couples (she stalked them in public spaces from afar) who are more lovey dovey than her and Paracelsus. So to "spice" things up, she reads dating and romance tips on a (stolen) teen magazine that suggests those shoddy dating ideas and boasting to others that they're the end game (Paracelsus and others feels awkward as she says this).

After their arcade mode story, Paracelsus begins to feel guilt about having to manipulate A.B.A to wield him as a blood thirsty weapon. He knew A.B.A doesn't have hate in her heart, and saw how loving she actually is without her possessive traits. One example is when she polishes his brass parts after battle. She also tries to prop him in a comfortable position when at rest because she feels bad that he isnt mobile like she is.

Paracelsus admits, although not in a romantic way (sadly), that A.B.A is beautiful in her own way despite the uncanny nature of her origin. He says this in the most vague and bleakest way possible, yet A.B.A hyperventilated when she hears this.

Because of Paracelsus' statement on her beauty, she doesn't mind not fitting in with humans because his encouragement is all what she needed.

Let's say that A.B.A is considered attractive in their universe, minus the eye bags and the unkempt look- if someone ever compliments her in the slightest (grim extent is someone cat calls her) by a stranger, she would feel like she betrayed her husband for catching someone's eye. Mixture of frustration, shame, timidness, and anger would flow into her that she ultimately resorts to violence as a solution to the incomprehensible feeling. Paracelsus on the other hand would probs feel disgusted at the stranger's rude behavior, justifying his wife's violent outburst (ah yes, toxicity)

If another girl/woman compliments her though, she would be confused and scared as to why they would do such and not go after her husband. Because of her timid nature, she isn't used to hear positive things from others up until Elphelt (lol)

A.B.A's favorite color is blue, probs because she read somewhere or thought it's the calmest color. Blue in nature (partaining to animals) is usually rare, so it could also signify that she's drawn to things that are unique. (Or I could be wrong. I'm probably am--)

Speaking of the color blue, A.B.A attempted to dye her hair blue, but because of her vivacious red hair before, it resulted into greenish color (I know some fans theorize that her hair oxidized bc of her unusual body composition, but I wanna lean on the fact that she tries to fit in the outside world).

Paracelsus inspired her into liking color blue when he was talking about his past travels (at the risk of making A.B.A envy his previou's wielders ofc)

A.B.A was born with impeccable knowledge, thus explains why she speaks in such an authoritative manner. However since she lived in isolation for the first 10 years of her life, she does not know how humans speak in modern day. Paracelsus told her stories and spoke about philosophies only demons have access to.

Regarding small humans (as A.B.A likes to call the children), she wondered what it was like to grow up from a helpless being to a capable one, often lamenting that she hadn't had a literal childhood like a normal being. To cheer her up, Paracelsus suggested that their next date is at the park where there are swings and see-saws. Up to you how that's gonna work out lol

P.S., pls be gentle with me, Im new to the fandom and ship--

#aba x paracelsus #aba & paracelsus #aba guilty gear #a.b.a x paracelsus #paracelsus #guilty gear strive #aba and paracelsus headcanons #ao3 fanfic #headcanons #rare non-timebomb post lol

[chimchiri]

Just read through your headcanons for spit, rd and aj and I would like to hear about yours for rarity!! Especially touching on the point that she's bi/only gay for aj which is quite different from rd's bisexuality. How did she reach that conclusion when all her life she was after stallions/men. What made her see aj in a different way and only aj? Only if you don't mind sharing tho :)

Sorry for the delay in response! I actually had to gather my thoughts.

The formation of this headcanon isn't really set in stone! Honestly there are many different scenarios I could see. I think it could also change depending on where AJ stands in all of this. Does she openly crush on Rarity? Does she have hope? Is she pining? or already over Rarity because she thinks there's no way Rarity could like her as a woman?

I definitely like a bit of angst and pining, so I like the last option a lot. I could see AJ very accidentally nudge Rarity into her enlightenment. E.g. AJ helping Rarity out in her garden, maybe building or setting up some things and (probably without realizing) going into all the sexy tropes of bulky handymanwoman sweating in the sun sun with sweat dripping all over her. I think Rarity would be very much into these masculine tropes that you see in cheap romcoms. Yes, when it comes to romance and daily business she loves a handsome, sweet and fancy man. But when it comes to sexual tension and desire, I could see her lean more into rough, burly men. And AJ checking off a lot of these tropes and desires could easily make Rarity go 'hmmm....' at the end of the day. One thing that definitely immediately turns Rarity on and blush is being lifted off the ground, which AJ could also easily do. And which AJ would do without realizing what she's doing to poor little Rarity. I could see them bicker and pout and AJ just with an annoyed huff and puff pick Rarity up and down two steps to the side so she can finally get to wherever blocked Rarity her path to. And then Rarity is just standing frozen over how easily AJ lifted her up. Gosh that farmer is strong...

Either Rarity slowly realizes that she starts to fantasize over her friend (as in the previous setting) OR she doesn't - which is just as hilarious. I could see that one more in a 'let's drink too much at your yearly family garden festival and makeout and possibly more' way. Rarity being completely oblivious to her attraction towards AJ + AJ still being so goddamn much into Rarity + alcohol + more alcohol + some minutes of alone time makes an incredible night and unforgettable, embarrassing morning. I mean, it doesn't have to be completely sexual. I could see a drunk Rarity just pulling AJ in and making out with her for the end of the night without leading up to anything more. Especially, if AJ had drinks than her friend. I think something like that would work well with Rarity wondering and trying to understand her sexuality for a long time. Probably with more shame pinned to it due to her previously unhinged behaviour.

Honestly, there are many different AUs and scenes I could see with them. Most of them involve Rarity confessing because.. well, AJ is pretty openly a lesbian and she has never seen Rarity seriously flirt with her or any other woman. And even with the possibility of Rarity liking women, AJ probably doesn't think she's Rarity's type - not the way she fawns over handsome and posh gentlemen. Lastly, AJ definitely doesn't want to risk her friendship with her by making a move that may not lead anywhere. So .. yeah. I think Rarity most often has to show interest first. At least in any AU where they're established friends and Rarity starts to realize her liking for her friend.

#excuse any mistakes it's been a long day and I didn't read through it a second time #also: that's just my fave hc #I still think some other Rarity ships are cute #mlp #headcanons #rarijack

[m3r1m4r5u333]

Reasons why I keep rambling about Bi!Eddie...

Why? Why would Eddie hide his sexual identity, bisexuality? Because... why not, he thinks.

Dating only women would mean less conflict with his family. His family is religious and Eddie loves them, is scared to lose them.

Eddie also fears triggering more conflict, maybe even fears his family might not consider him a good dad anymore if he came out.

He already almost had to fight for his son's custody with them. What if he comes out and they lash out? He has a dangerous job, works ridiculous hours, is a single parent. A queer man is not every courtroom's favorite person.

So women... That's where Eddie hides, it's what he knows. It's "a safe place to hide"... because in theory, it's fine, it's comfortable. Eddie is attracted to women. So he isn't really sacrificing anything, or at least much, he thinks... Just marry a woman you love, and it's all good. No need to come out and clash with your family, or make Christopher's childhood even more of a challenge. After all, the world is still prejudiced and not all children of queer parents have it easy.

But the truth is... Closeted life isn't a cake-walk even if you avoid detection, and are sort of adjusting. You are still hiding a part of yourself. Acting. Feeling like you need to pretend. Scared and unable to be fully yourself.

I've noticed that Buddie fans keep pointing to Eddie's panic attacks as this "haha gotcha, you're GAY!"-confirmation. It's ignorant.

Did you know that panic attacks are actually not at all unusual among closeted bisexuals, either?

Masks are always suffocating, no matter what you're hiding.

Not to mention, when Eddie starts having those panic attacks, he's under a world of pressure. Trying to recover and get back to dating... Quite soon really, after losing his wife.

He's also got a mountain of trauma and PTSD after surviving several near-death- experiences. To add to the trauma, the way he experienced the shooting? He thought Buck was wounded.

And then he is pressured into asking Ana out even though it hasn't been that long since he lost his wife.

Also I'm quite sure... His heart just isn't in it, dating. I think he has actually by that point fallen for Buck. And ignores it, tries to move on, forces himself to date someone else.

Get back on a horse, even if you don't really want to, feel the need to. Doesn't matter what you like, just do it anyway! "Horses" it is. Dating it is.

So Ana and Eddie? It's a tale of unrequited love, for Eddie, and for Ana. Falling for a concept because the person you truly want is simply not invested like you are, is emotionally unavailable to you.

The anxiety builds when people keep assuming Ana is Eddie's wife or Christopher's mom. It's too soon, it feels wrong. The relationship is just a mask because Eddie hasn't actually moved on. From Shannon, or from Buck. He panics when Ana says. "I'm not his mother... I'm... just a friend."

It's a reminder that she isn't Shannon - not Christopher's mom.

And she isn't Buck either. Buck who isn't really Christopher's father, who is... just a friend.

And like Buck... Ana is becoming Eddie's ready-made family anyway. Actually the third ready-made family, really. Shannon, Buck, Ana... All happened without much room to stop and re-consider.

Shannon... A rushed shotgun marriage triggered by an unplanned pregnancy and catholic guilt.

Buck, (a seemingly) straight friend quickly becoming family - clearly a dead end romance-wise.

Ana... A rushed, pressured romance built out of need to forcibly move on, and find a step-mom for Chris. Three ready-made families, all destroying Eddie in different ways. Anxiety, inner turmoil, panic.

....

So. Eddie's bisexuality!!!

That ice skating scene in "Malfunction"? The episode is very Eddie-centric, and the theme is "Me a tough macho man, me trust nobody, ugh!"

There's Eddie's fight club clusterfuck, his argument with Lena about Eddie being emotionally distant. Eddie, crying in front of Bobby about his grief, about Shannon leaving because Eddie "broke" her, because he wasn't enough...

Eddie = Trust issues galore, abandoment issues galore. Persistent shame and guilt making him unable to go for anything he really wants. Avoidance. Hidden pain. Constant urge to be in control, and never slip.

So let's look at that ice skating scene in "Malfunction"...

It's a blood bath on ice. Figure skaters toe-picking and getting injured, all because of one fallen sequin on ice triggering a domino effect. Bobby knows to look for a sequin because he's got some experience with this stuff.

Chimney: So how come you know so much about figure skating?

Eddie: Always thought you were a hockey player, cap.

...

Bobby: Who says you can't do both?!

(They team is shocked. Buck says "We'll google for photos later"

Chimney waves his hand around like he agrees... But in a way that ends up looking like he's pointing at Buck AND Eddie. And Hen then throws this shocked lingering stare at Buck and Eddie, like she just realised something!)

...Who says you can't do both? Indeed... Is there some secret quota, unknown to me, that dictates how many bi characters a tv show can have?

Is there a law that a queer male ship must always be the sum of one bi male, one male gay character? Why do we expect that? Because it would be more diverse, more varied representation?

Correct me if I've got this wrong... But writing Eddie as gay would in fact not score the show more diversity points, not in the realm of 9-1-1.

The show STARTS OFF with a storyline about a closeted, married gay man! If Eddie was gay... It would be the show's second storyline about a closeted, married gay man. That's not diverse representation. That would be in fact... quite repetitive, unimaginative queer representation!

Also, let's keep in mind that the show already has several gay male characters by the time Eddie joins the team.

Michael! David! Josh! That's already three gay men. If Eddie was gay, Eddie would be the fourth gay male character.

Oh wait. Tommy. So... FIFTH one! Also there are even more strictly gay monosexuals: Two lesbians. Hen and Karen.

However, there are just two confirmed bi character so far. Buck and Eva.

So really, Who says you can't "do both"?

Who says both of these characters can't be interested in women and men, into more genders than one? Who says both Buck and Eddie can't be bi?

"We're everywhere, man." That's Eddie's line in that scene, gif below. (And pink+yellow balloons, blue gloves? Pansexual-coded colors. Multisexuality!)

Eddie, subtly illuminated in bi-coded colors. Blue, purple, pink... On a date with a woman.

Talking with Buck. Bi-coded lighting.

Oh look, what's behind Eddie? The famous bi-cycle. While he talks about "the menu" not being the issue...

"The sex was never the issue", with Shannon. Canonically they actually went at it like bunnies, even to the detriment of their relationship because they failed to talk due to being too distracted by each other's bodies.

"The "menu" is not the issue." And it's not with Marisol, either. Not until Eddie learns of her hyper religious past.

Confronting Marisol, a former nun-student? That's the issue here, that's what Eddie's trying to avoid. Confronting his obviously at least at one point very religious, quite possibly bigoted girlfriend...?? Would certainly be an issue, if you're bi!!! Who wants to date a bigot?! Your very own domestic hate crime.

So... Eddie talks about the upcoming alone time with Marisol (when Chris was away) feeling exciting, naughty... Until he learns she was almost a NUN!

He talks about "eyes on the ground". And that's what dating a fundamentalist would be, if you're bi and closeted. Eyes on the ground, close to you.

Suddenly being judged for same-sex attraction is no longer just a distant fear, a vague idea to Eddie, it's a living, breathing person in his home, in his bed.

Really, imagine dating a bigot. Imagine your partner being disgusted, disturbed, judgemental... by your sexuality, your identity, your desires, dreams. Imagine them being repulsed by such an fundamental, persistent part of what makes you... you. Something you cannot change.

Imagine sometimes fantasizing about men as well as women, and then... trying to have sex with someone... who you suspect might consider your secret fantasy life disgusting, wrong. Imagine that negative reaction if they knew the whole truth, who you really are?!

An efficient boner killer, for sure!! No wonder Eddie is suddenly avoiding her company, anxious by the idea of sex with her. He doesn't trust Marisol anymore.

Also, let's talk about Eddie and moving on.

Why going home is an issue. Leaving Buck's place is an issue. Because trying to move on? Those words just need a melody, and ta-dah it's the Eddie Diaz theme song. The story of his life. The concept just keeps coming up.

Moving on. Being unable to move on.

Quite frankly, I think this is the main reason why Eddie cannot date without freaking out.

When Eddie joins the team he's still stuck on Shannon. "They weren't my type." Less awkward than to say "Sure they were hot, but I do have an estranged wife."

Shannon was his first crush, love, his first everything. The mother of his child. His friend. But they were young, not ready to get married and have a child, especially one with special needs. They were pushed to do that anyway when Shannon suddenly got pregnant, unplanned.

Btw, may I just point out that they're already under a lot of pressure and struggling when we first see them together on the show?

What we miss out on seeing... are the times when things were still great! That creates a limited, tinted view of their romance, and warps our entire view of their relationship. When we first see Eddie and Shannon, their relationship is already quite fractured, and falling apart.

Doesn't mean it always was bad.

Inability to work together. That eventually destroyed their relationship. Both failed to listen to each other, to be a team. Their love died because their mutual trust and respect died.

Eddie couldn't handle sudden parenthood, sudden marriage (and catholics truly expect forever), Christopher's cp diagnosis. He enlisted, escaped to the army. Shannon couldn't handle the guilt, thinking the cp was her fault. They fought all the time. Eddie let his parents meddle with Christopher's upbringing, walk over Shannon. He refused to listen to her when she wanted to move to another city. Eddie avoided bonding with Chris.

So when Eddie got home from the war-zone, she left. Eddie was suddenly alone with Chris. And Shannon was gone for a long time. Her leaving, it was a shock to the system. Eddie no longer trusted her, she'd abandoned him, and more importantly, abandoned Chris.

So Eddie is struggling. Alone. Hurt.

And then... Eddie meets Buck, who is ridiculously helpful. Buck is someone Eddie can count on. They're almost instantly a team.

So Eddie moves on from Shannon, and falls for Buck. From that point on? There is no real room for others. From then on it's just barely discreet heart-eyes at Buck, and Eddie not truly wanting to date anyone (else).

Eddie doesn't really want to get back together with Shannon when she returns. The sex is still great, that was never the issue, they both agree on that one thing...

But she was simply gone for too long, she even says this. It's obvious. Eddie has adjusted to life without her, found a new focus, moved on from her.

For example when we see Eddie, Buck and Chris visit Santa? Eddie talks about Shannon to Buck in this almost anxious way, like he feels the need to explain himself to Buck, like he's been cheating on Buck. Buck then calls Eddie "brother", and Eddie's face, just for a moment... Falls. He looks disturbed, disappointed, to be called "brother".

Eddie tries to mend the relationship with Shannon. It's obviously out of a sense of duty (catholic guilt, marriage should last, divorce is wrong), he keeps waiting for a "sign", keeps ducking her questions, pushing her away, keeps dragging his feet. His heart is no longer in it. Shannon realises this, wants to break up.

And then she dies. Eddie grieves. Feels guilt for failing to salvage the marriage. And then Eddie is just... stuck. Unable to move on, from grieving Shannon, from the guilt caused by their failed marriage, from Buck. Tries to force himself to move on. Fails. Keeps dying inside.

Heart's already taken.

.....

There are so many talks about moving on after that. Seemingly they are all about Shannon, and I do think they are about Shannon...

Just not... entirely. After all, Eddie didn't really want to get back together with her, did he now. We see them fighting, a lot. Their relationship wasn't dancing on roses, there were serious problems.

So the talks about moving on are also about Buck. Buck, who Eddie thinks is straight, yet parenting Chris with him. They become close, are seen doing all sorts of domestic family stuff.

What a painful existence would that be, to raise your child with someone whom you love and desire, but who you think cannot ever return your feelings? Who wants that? Of course Eddie would want to move on!!

Then shit happens... And Eddie clearly just... spirals without Buck. Partakes in illegal fights to let off steam. Yells at Buck at a grocery store about "not being around, Christopher missing him..". They end up looking like a couple in the middle of a messy divorce.

People, including Buck, pressure Eddie into dating. Buck keeps dating women. Eddie... keeps having talks about moving on.

Looks totally dead as he tells Buck that he needs to move on, Eddie has. It's an obvious lie, and it's such a bizarre thing to say to a friend, no matter the circumstances - very relationship-coded.

Almost like Eddie was just desperate to voice those words out loud, wishing that saying them would turn them into reality. Move on, I have!! (Move on, stop approaching me, stop tormenting me like this.)

....

So move on, Eddie...

....

There's Buck, urging Eddie to ask Ana out.

......

Bobby, telling Eddie that he will always miss the family he once had, but he loves the new one he now has. So you should try moving on, Eddie!

.......

Eddie's doctor... suggesting he could be repressing things.

The talk with the doctor;

They're talking about the shooting... Until it sounds like Eddie isn't.

Eddie: I don't even think about him anymore.

Doc: That could be called repression.

Eddie: Or just... moving forward.

Then some more subtext about pining. Remember Buck... being compared to a golden retriever?

Remember the man who cornered himself on a roof? Whining that he always wanted a dog but mom wouldn't let him because "Barry was allergic!"... (Or maybe, queerphobic?)

.....

Ana: There's a lot to be said for getting back on the horse. But there's also value in learning that you don't like "horses".

Eddie: I'm sorry?

....

Carla, telling Eddie to follow his heart, not Christopher's.... (Edit. Btw, look up the pictures of those hearts, I can't add more pictures to this post.There's Buck's silly, happy "misunderstood the assignment" love-type heart symbol... The one Chris drew, the one Carla warns against following?

Dead-looking, clinical, anatomical. And it's drawn with bisexual-flag colors!!!!

Love can't be about logic and rationality, reasoning with yourself and finding a good enough match. Even if on paper it makes sense. Love needs to be an emotion. It needs to make you happy.)

.....

The first day Buck and Eddie meet:

Buck is taking selfies.

Eddie: You're in the wrong lighting, man.

Buck: Some of us don't need lighting to look good!

And...

Years later... At the dark firestation, Eddie looking at Buck, getting lost on his memory lane, forgetting to introduce Ana.

Ana: Even in the dark this place is amazing! (The parallel to "Some of us don't need lighting to look good.")

And Eddie panics.

(*panicking, looking between Ana and Buck*)

Eddie: I don't want these things to wilt!

.....

After that... Eddie, looking at Buck:

Somehow we became a ready-made family, and I... I don't know if I'm ready for that.

(and how could he be ready for that, he thought Buck was straight.)

.....

Eddie talking with his tía, learning that she's been married twice, not just once, like Eddie always thought.

Eddie, learning that she had been unable to move on from the first husband, and didn't feel ready to date... But her friends had dragged out anyway, and that's when she had met her second husband-to-be.

And it was this, meeting someone else, that made her move on. So Eddie forces himself to date, thinking that all he needs to do is meet the right person, and he'll finally move on.

.....

The scene with Marisol, setting her bag on Eddie's hallway table.

Checking that it's not falling off... because there is barely enough space for Marisol to set down her belongings.

The table is already full. There's a toy truck on it, which BUCK gave Chris, years ago,

and it takes so much room.

It's lit, under a lamp, in the center of a table, the first thing you see when you enter Eddie's home. A prized little thing, a treasure. It's clearly valued, spotlighted like art... Even though a toy like that? Would not be very expensive.

Still, it's clearly something Eddie cherishes. Chris is no longer a little kid, he doesn't play with toys like that. But the truck stays, it's something Eddie wants to keep looking at. And it's huge, centered, leaves little room for something else.

Eddie is pining!!!!

Whether he realises it or not... This man is in love, that's why his relationships feel so suffocating, why they keep failing. His heart is already taken. His romantic relationships are just glued on, they're pretense, acting, a desperate attempt to move on, from Buck.

#evan buckley #911 buddie #buddie #eddie diaz #buddie 911 #911 on abc #evan buck buckley #911 abc #tv: 911 #eddie díaz #bi!eddie #bisexual erasure #bi buck #abc 911 #Ana Flores #shannon diaz #Marisol Doe #i make no gifs brain is potato

[weenwrites]

*Crawls out of the sewers to make a request*

Yoo! Hope you're having a good day, make sure to drink lots of water!

As for the request, would do you mind doing a romance pining headcanons Transformers Prime Bumbleee and Optimus Prime (separately, of course) for a human charge? The bots would develop a crush on the reader, and how would they're pining be-? Most of their time pining, he human charge would be oblivious to their advances (if there are any) and would just brush it off as them being friendly? Despote the human charge having mutual feelings for the bot as well.

Apologies for my bad english, and I'm not really good at describing stuff, so pardon if it seemed weird or something-

Anyways, thank you for your time!

A/N: Your english is great! I think you were able to communicate your idea just fine.

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

Optimus

It's not that he's afraid of expressing his true feelings to you, it's that he's hesitant on whether he should. You already have such a massive target painted on your back just by being under his watch, to start dating you would raise the stakes higher than you'd ever know. Of course that isn't to mention whether he'd have the time and energy to be your partner.

Yes, he sees you every day because you're his charge, but if you were to make your relationship romantic, he would need to be present and available in your life outside of decepticon-related issues. He is uncertain whether he has the time to, though he understands that he has a capable team who are well willing to break their own backs just to give him some time off, he doesn't want them to go to such lengths.

So while there's no verbal confession right away, or for any time soon, he's much more talkative with you and attentive to your every need—not overly so, but enough that it's noticeable. And however you spend patrols with him—whether it be listening to music as you drive, or just sitting in silence—words are what fill the silence as you meander down the road.

At times he'd dream about life with you, and in those dreams the war is the least of his concerns. In those dreams he thinks about how he could make his schedule align with yours, he thinks about how you might enjoy this one activity, or this one place on Cybertron. And at times he finds bits of his dreams even seeping into his waking thoughts as he finds himself wondering about your well-being on a day you're elsewhere.

Bumblebee

Surprisingly it's rather difficult to tell that he likes you because he's already so friendly towards you, but it's not inherently impossible if you can read the signs. Firstly, he's a lot more expressive around you—and while that may be surprising to hear given the fact he's already a very expressive person, I mean "more expressive" as in he seems even more enthusiastic and happy around you (even more than either of you knew was possible).

You can see it in the way he tries to keep you around, and the way that he admires stares at you for a bit longer than is considered acceptable by your societal norms. Especially whenever you go out on patrol with him, it almost feels like the seat belt around you is hugging you in a way, but you could also pass that off as he's just trying to make sure you're nice and secure.

His confession is very shy, yet there's something so endearing when it comes to seeing him offer you a hand-made Valentine's day card. The cover of the card is simple, yet the inside is what really stands out to you the most. The inside details his feelings for you—not in any showy or verbose way, but in a few straightforward and simple sentences. Yet each word is teeming with his unexpressed adoration for you, and his hesitance barely conceals the fear of your rejection, and yet he's still brave enough to look at you as if to ask "well, what do you say?"

#tfp imagines #tfp headcanons #tfp x reader #tfp optimus prime #tfp optimus prime x reader #tfp bumblebee #bumblebee x reader #x reader #reader insert #self insert #weenwrites #[ if that valentine's day card isn't enough then bumblebee shows up to your window ] #[ with a bright flashy neon sign that screams “I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU” ]

[citrusbusiness]

Hey it's time for me to rant about mildly annoying things about society and being aro/ace! (Long post warning)

Okay so when I was eating dinner with my parents today and we were talking about our grandparents for a bit. Specifically, my grandma getting sick, and how my uncle traveling around all the time but living with them did not help that. Anyway then I was thinking about him, because he's unmarried with no kids and so is my other uncle. So then I brought up the fact that I have no first cousins, making my one joke about the topic that I'm the onliest only child ever. And we laughed about it for a bit, but then my mom said something else.

“See that's why –and I feel a bit like Jane Austen saying this– that's why you have to get married”

And my aroace brain already did not like that, but obviously I wasn't going to tell her that because I'm not out?? And then my dad then butted in with a joke about the reason being that the family line would end if I didn't, which annoyed me, but interestingly, my mother brushed that aside.

Instead, she said “because when you get old you won't have any siblings or cousins to help you.”

I... Had not been expecting that. So I sat there, not liking where the conversation had gone but not doing anything about it. I just put it aside to rant about later (this is that) and moved on with my evening

But I've come back to it now.

I'm not mad at my mom for telling me that I have to get married. I'm annoyed at my situation and our society for existing in a way where she's right.

I don't have siblings or cousins I'm close with who could help me. The only people I have are my friends, and who knows if I'll still be friends with them? Also, I have maybe one actually aro friend, all the others are highly likely to get into romantic relationships and maybe have children. They'll have their own people to be taking care of. I'm just going to be lower priority, that's how our society works. Hell, with the internet the way that it is, there's no guarantee that I would even live in the same area as most of my friends.

And this isn't even just an old age thing. What happens if I need a serious surgery? What person, with their own job and family and life, has the time to spend taking care of their friend for an extended period of time? I mean, I might, but I don't have the whole romance thing getting in the way.

I realize that I'm being pessimistic and that I should probably have more faith in both my friends and the way the world works. I'm just frustrated that because we place so much more emphasis on romance than we do friendships, once people start pairing up the friendships get left behind a little bit. I'm frustrated that you could make an argument that I might have to get married, not because I truly want to, but for the sake of my own health and comfort in the future. I'm frustrated that someone can say something as uncomfortable to me as “you have to get married,” and still have a decent point.

Again, I'm being a pessimist and I'm not mad at my mom. Or my dad.

…I need more irl aro friends.

#aro #aromanticism #aromantic #aroace #kinda #mostly a post for the aros though #rant post

[hiemaldesirae]

Arrax here, back with more of Alastor and Vox knew each other in life, Alastor died and became the radio demon but Vox never did AU:

So while Alastor's in hell becoming a powerful Overlord, pretty boy Vox accidentally catches the eye of a powerful creature of the night. A vampire Lord, who changes Vox into one of his 'children,'. Vox of course did not want this gift-- especially so close after his best friends death. (Alastor's only been dead for 4 months when Vox is forcibly changed) but he bares it, dealing with his new master.

He lives the decades under this vampire lord, being his prized possession--helping him lead hapless humans to their doom with his charm and looks, only for them to be sucked dry by his master and his friends after they're led back to the mansion, with only a cup of blood left for Vox himself after all his hard work.

It isn't until he's sent out one night, in the 21st century when the scent of demon catches in his throat that he realizes something is wrong. The humans he's leading back to the mansion don't even scream as they're slaughtered--between his charm and the fast movement of the demon, they had no chance to regain their senses.

Vox's eyes widen as he snarls, fangs sliding down as he tries to spot the demon. Before warm, familiar laughter reaches his ears, and long, lanky arms encircle his waist.

"My darling, that's the welcome I get upon seeing you again?" Alastor's voice coos, his face nuzzling Vox's the crook of Vox's neck.

YAYY YIPPEE VAMPIRE RADIOSTATIC !!!!!!!

(please. ignore the fact that i didnt realize it was that at first 😭😭😭)

this is SO intriguing. yeah vox WOULD get himself captured and turned by a vampire lord because of his pretty face lmfao. this feels like a forbidden (thats not the right word but like. close enough?) romance type troupe, like since vox cant die and alastor is already dead kinda thing.... theyd be sooo sweet tgtr though i know once they get past the initial hurdles of the relationship

i can just imagine vox flinching back in surprise when he hears the voice of his old friend, probably thinking it was some sort of hallucination and he was about to get ripped apart and eaten or something, only for nothing to happen at all and when he finally musters up the courage to open his eyes, he's simply greeted with alastor's adoring expression. something he thought he'd never have the chance to see again. "even after all this time, you still haven't changed, have you?"

#ran rambles #hazbin hotel #general asks #radiostatic

[mrsbsmooth]

I don't know if this is a safe space for me to share my opinion on S8 but I disagree with your take on WLW relationships in S8. As someone who is exclusively WLW, I've got to say that Season 8 is the worst season that I have ever played. It's not worth it. I regret every second that I have spent on it. I wish I never played it. I feel like I have wasted my time. Watching Claudia grind on Theo made me feel physically sick. If you're bi, you're automatically locked out of the WLW route and Bea dances for Claudia instead. If you're doing a WLW route, the two female LIs are merged together. There are only two female LIs and they're hidden behind a gem wall. You can't couple up with them until the final week. The male characters are forced on MC no matter how many times you reject them. Being LGBT is treated like a fun side mission. It's something you're only allowed to do behind closed doors. You can pay to make out with a girl in every episode and the other characters will keep pushing the OG guy and CA guy on you either way. If you're romancing a girl, you're made to feel like a cheater. The WLW routes in S8 are written to be a bonus thing for bi women to do once they finish the good routes. They are not written to be the main course. The S8 WLW routes  are something to play around with but not something to commit to. S5 was no fun but at least we could be in an unofficial relationship with Dana and we could choose to befriend Alfie. We could couple up with Vicky in S7. S8 is like S6 but somehow even worse. The openly homophobic and racist comments that I have seen some straight players make about Bea and Hari are only making it harder to feel accepted. What hurts the most is that MC was a bombshell and she was not coupled up with her OG LI before the Casa. They could have let us pick a female LI the moment MC walked into the Villa. There was no better way to justify a WLW main route. The way they waste Luna and Felicity is unbelievable. I wouldn't recommend S8 to anyone who isn't super into the male LIs

Hi lovely, of course!! Always happy to hear a different opinion as long as they're respectfully put, which yours absolutely is, and as long as you don't mind me disagreeing back!

[Note: Sarah's just pointed out to me that you asked for a safe space and my response doesn't really do that and just disagrees with you. She's right, and I apologise for not being clearer about the fact I was planning to do so when I hit post. But you are always welcome to share your opinion here. I can't guarantee a safe space, but I can guarantee an open mind.] Because I do genuinely believe that the WLW routes in S8 are better than they have been previously.

I'm not going to be addressing homophobic and racist comments about Bea and Hari. My advice for those? Stay the hell off Reddit. I'm not getting into the way this fandom talks about race, especially for Asian islanders. I just want to talk about the WLW routes as that was the main point of your ask.

I want to make sure I've acknowledged and responded to everything you said, so please see below.

[This got long AF. TL;DR at the end.]

Locked out of routes, and Male LIs being forced on you

This isn't new to this season, and in my opinion it's been done dramatically better than previous seasons. I've played all of them, and almost every single season holds the female LI back until the end. Marisol, Elisa, Najuma, Angie, Dana, Lulu, Bella, Chloe, Flo, Bonnie, I don't think you could couple up with a single one of them until the final recoupling. The only exceptions were S1 and S3, I think? I believe you could get with Talia slightly earlier (and have Sammi come in later as a LI for the guy who otherwise would be dumped), and AJ/Yasmin you could couple up with and make Tai and Ciaran get together. But that's only 2 seasons from 8.

(Note: I see you said you could couple up with Vicky in S7, and I'll be honest, I barely played S7 as I found the writing itself extremely lacklustre. So I'll have to take your word for it that they somehow made that work.)

I get that it's frustrating to be separated from a female LI until late game. It's a sentiment I've heard every single season since I started playing alongside the releases. But realistically, this is how the game is structured. Love Island, as a premise, is based on heterosexual relationships. Pairing off and being in heterosexual couples, etc. Same as something like 'the Bachelor'. Two female contestants could be together, sure. But that's not how the show is structured. The only real solutions have been in S1 and S3, both of which I've already mentioned. I'd love to see more MLM couples made canon, or creative ways of letting us couple with women earlier, but I don't think there's one simple solution. This particular show is aimed at het couples. As unfair as it may seem, that's how the game is structured. (Crossing my fingers for canon MLM couples. PLEASE!)

I also disagree that WLW routes are written to be a bonus thing for bi women to do once they finish the good routes. Claudia's route has been a main route since day one in the villa. The fact that you can only have a relationship with either Theo OR Claudia means they intended from the very beginning to have whichever one of that couple you choose be the slow burn route- the route that you can't get on until the very end.

To say that 'Watching Claudia grind on Theo made me physically sick'-- Congratulations and welcome to the slowburn route 😂 I feel exactly the same way when Theo REJECTS ME OUTRIGHT and says he's only interested in Claudia, or when Suresh's heartrate gets raised the most by Lulu, or when I finally couple with Jake and he tells me I should pursue Levi. Don't you think the fact that it's had such an impact on you shows how well-written she is as a female LI? Claudia is AMAZING. But she's also bisexual. She's allowed to be torn between a male and a female LI and want to explore relationships with both, and I don't think it's fair to be angry that she's playing out all her options. That just means she's a well-written bisexual character. (Side note may I remind you that you've been able to take Claudia to the hideaway, and sleep in a bed with her, whereas Theo girls were only able to KISS the dude for the first time within the last week!!!! 😭) I think the only canonical lesbian routes are Angie from S4 and A.J. from S3. But even so, they're both questioning while in-villa and only come out either towards the end or in the post-season. You can watch AJ's route on Youtube if you didn't get a chance to play. Also, you're not locked out of the WLW route if you're bi/into men. Only if you're interested in Theo specifically. This is definitely somewhere they could improve-- I wanted Theo and Claudia, but eventually went back to play a straight route for Theo. However, I DESPERATELY wanted to flirt with Bea. It would've been wonderful if we'd been able to flirt with her separately. (I think I did get this option, but I believe it may have been a glitch). An option early in the game when the female LI asks you could be:

Yes, I'm into you!

No, I'm not into you, but I might be into other women

No, I'm not into women.

The Female LIs are merging together

Welcome to Love Island the Game by Fusebox games, where all the love interests merge and the personalities don't matter. You're not alone here, and it's not NEARLY as bad as previous seasons. Watch Najuma, Bruno, and JAMES have exactly the same dialogue in S4 despite being wildly different personalities. Watch Lewie, Jamal and Ryan be completely interchangeable. This isn't exclusive to WLW routes.

The female LIs are hidden behind a gem wall.

Again, this is the same for everyone, even players on a straight route. FB are greedy.

Being LGBT is treated like a side mission

It's something you're only allowed to do behind closed doors. You can pay to make out with a girl in every episode

This is hard. I get why you feel like this, anon, I really do. But I genuinely do think that this is the devs trying to give you something. They know it's frustrating to have to wait so long to couple with a female LI, so they try and give you bonus opportunities along the way to connect with your love interest. Almost every single smut scene written in the scripts has a female alternative. Again, I'm not saying that it's perfect, but having looked at and manipulated the scripts for four seasons now, I can absolutely assure you that this has not always been the case. They ARE improving and giving you more opportunities to spend time with your female LI than you had in previous seasons.

TL;DR

I'm not saying S8 is a perfect season for WLW routes.

The part I'm disagreeing with is where you said it's the worst season.

I absolutely disagree with that. There are far worse seasons. Even the golden child Season 2 didn't let you couple up with a woman until right at the end, watching her graft and grind on everyone BUT you. We also don't even know for sure that we can't couple up with a girl until the last week. The game's still being released. (I won't be surprised if that's the case though.)

I think Claudia and Bea are EXCELLENT female love interests in comparison with what we've had previously. They're both beautiful, they have unique personalities, they have very different routes (Claudia's confused between you and Theo, Bea's your bestie to lover and she's got terrible taste in men, dear god please save her).

I understand WANTING more WLW routes, but from a development point of view, there are simply not enough opportunities in the real-life structure of LITG to have fully blown out WLW routes. And even if they were, FB Games are not going to be financially motivated to do so. Their main customer base ($$$) is pursing a het route, so that’s who they’re creating for. They can't even get through the hetero routes without the characters merging personalities. There are other games doing this well, including fan-made games, which I'd recommend checking out. I don't have the link handy to the game pages, but check out @thatwheelchairchick, I believe she's working on an alternative game?

Anyway, I hope that clarifies my position on why I think they're worth playing. Sorry that it turned into an essay.

#litg wlw #litg claudia #litg bea #litg s8 #litg tempting fate

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Hello! If you don't mind, this is half a vent and half an ask both to you and to your followers who have had some experience?

I feel like I want certain aspects of a romantic relationship, the idea of having someone "special" is very appealing. Especially since I find myself falling in the trap of romance tropes, and I really do feel that I want to find that one person who I'd feel safe being physically close with, and not just because I turn my brain off to suffer through it but to actually enjoy it.

I know that I'm rather attracted to men, in theory at least, but whenever there's even remotely a thought in my brain that a polite conversation may turn into something more I get nervous, kinda in a bad way. I feel like I want to put a barrier in and I'm afraid they'll be reading into my behaviour too much. It makes me feel as if I like to play pretend in my head but I'm too much of a coward when real life gets involved.

I've been identifying as ace for years now, and I just turned 24. No experience in the dating department, I've been slowly making my way to accepting being at least arospec as well, possibly just aro, but for some reason it's been so much harder for me. Asexuality just clicked. This I think I may be fighting because the idea of a relationship seems too nice to give up and I've already had a bad experience with an extremely undernegotiated QPR (ended quickly but left a bitter taste nevertheless).

I just wish I could not think about it? But I also feel like the societal expectations of romantic attraction are much more pressing than sexual one. I don't want to lead anyone on, and I don't want to feel this little bit of dread whenever I have a conversation with a guy who I know doesn't have a girlfriend. That's another sign of being aro, right? Being able to be comfortable only when the possibility of the other party wanting you romantically is non-existent.

Sorry for this being so long. Thank you for listening, either way.

Romance definitely has a hard to explain quality to it, and I think that can make it questioning if you're aro especially tricky. It is possible that anxiety you're feeling when a situation could turn romantic is a form of repulsion. It's not uncommon for romance repulsion to feel more like anxiety or nervousness, and for people feel like wanting to go and hide. Alloromantic people can be nervous too sometimes, but it usually comes with a feeling of anticipation and still being drawn to the other person. Or they will usually have either trouble with anxiety in other areas, or issues with romance (romance related trauma for example). Sometimes it can be tricky to know exactly what it is, but if the stuff below doesn't sound like you at all, than repulsion is a likely explanation.

The other thing I would point is that fully alloromantic people often have people in real life they are experience a romantic pull towards, who they really want to be in a romantic relationship with. And if you're not experiencing that, that could also be a strong sign of being aromantic.

Being aromantic, and even romance repulsed, if you are, does not mean you can't have a very important person in your life. I know you mentioned a QPR that didn't go well, and it's up to you if that's something you ever want to try again, but even if you don't. remember that deep bonds can come in all forms of relationships. All types of relationships, including friendships, familial relationships, etc. have the potential to be very special of very deep if you end up connecting to someone in the right way. So whatever path you choose to take, don't feel like this isn't possible.

I'll throw this out followers too if anyone wants to share their own thoughts or advice.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

#vent post

[gayofthefae]

The fact that Mike and Will were singled out from their friend group from the beginning, not just in comparison to Mike and El shows me that this is a love story not a love triangle. As the seasons progress, El is worked more and more into their friend group and town, making more relationships with people other than Mike to secure her place of normalcy and status in their friend group. Season 2, Hopper, season 3, Max, season 4, Will (, Jonathan, Joyce). Her screentime is spent integrating her into being just like everybody else in Mike's life as a permanent fixture that has other ties and therefore would not disappear if they weren't connected anymore. Will spends his seasons spending alone time with Mike, having individual plots and being emphasized and singled out even when they're in a group setting like in season 3 - they still had Mike chase after him and not Will so they had a moment alone.

If Will was going to just retreat back into blending in with the friend group, they would have spent more time on his relationships with Lucas, Dustin, Max, and El, but they didn't. They spent all their time making sure you knew that they're a friend group and they're "all best friends" but especially Mike and Will. If there's no romance, what's the point of "especially". Will having feelings for Mike does the "especially" that would be necessary for him being the most important to come out to on its own, you didn't need to point it out throughout the series.

Mike and Will were singled out before Mike even met El and that's why it's a love story and not a love triangle. Because it was already there. And because they were emphasized for years completely disconnected from onscreen or marketing idea of competition. If it was a love triangle, it would have only come up to threaten Elmike's relationship like how Steve and Nancy don't have moments between their breakup and season 3. Their stories aren't about each other so they don't need each other narratively when it isn't in relation to Jonathan. Mike and Will exist outside of Mike and El and have from the beginning. It can't be a love triangle if the second relationship has no bearing on the first.

#will el contrasts #byler elmike contrasts #el hopper arc #el hopper #byler #stranger things #willelmike triangle

[most-datable-datable-bracket]

QUARTER-FINALS MATCH 1

Grim propaganda:

“He's so babygirl coded, and also a husband material and he has a very pretty room. Also he's very very cute when you make fun of him and he doesn't know how to type and I think that's just so cute”

“The edgy grim reaper who wants to reap your soul but also gets incredibly flustered when you point out that he isn't using capitalization in messages correctly”

"grim literally travels all the way from the underworld to your home to give you flowers just because you offhandedly say youd like some

he's googling how to date once he realizes he has feelings for you (which is just endearing to me personally)

hes willing to throw away his responsibilities as a grim reaper if it means he can be with you....

and even if he can be grumpy, in the end he'll always make sure to be clear about his feelings for you

GUYS...im gonna pass out."

Gale propaganda:

“He is my cringe malewife I love him <3”

“Listen. Some may dunk on him for eating all of your magic artifacts (he only eats three!!) and others may dislike him for various bugs in his romance. But man oh man does this guy take devotion to the next level. He is such a romantic. Says the line "Whether I condemn this world or not, I choose you." after you successfully convince him to disobey his goddess who is also his ex girlfriend. He's a bit hungry for power, but in like, a sexy way, where he wants to get it to elevate you both to Godhood. And if you tell him that you want him for the man he is and not the God he aspires to be, he abandons that search for power and proposes. You can have wizard sex with him in the sky. His "rebellious streak" consists of staying up late reading and summoning a cat when his parents told him he couldn't have one, and also the aforementioned pursuit of godlike powers. What an absolute catch. He's always saying dramatic stuff in battle, but if you have him sneak around, he starts complaining like a grumpy old man. He's extra attracted to you when you're in battle. He has a bomb in his chest. And it is a very nice chest. Anyway. Boyfriend material.”

“This man is so sweet and idealistic. He wants everything about your romance to go perfectly like a fairy tale but that isn't really possible in apocalyptic settings, so he will use magic to help you forget  your surroundings when trying to be intimate to get as close as he can to perfect because he wants you to have the best. He is also attracted to literally all of your character and gets really turned on when you are musky and covered in blood after a battle. Just love my nerdy awkward horny romantic wizard.”

#Grim reaper #a date with death #casper a date with death #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #Baldur's Gate 3 #BG3 #Quarter-Finals #MDDC 2

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

Time to do another dramatic reading of our least favourite avatar.

Today, I will be subjecting myself and all of you to the vignette titled "space".

Unfortunately, it's not about the cool space. Which is a shame, because that would have less incest in it.

I wish I was joking.

So we once again start off with a republic city tabloid making the Avatar upset.

That is twice that this framing device has been used, and while this vignette came first, I think Lily needs to come up with a better opener. We can only have Niva read so many tabloids, and getting upset by it, as a framing device so many times before I start to question why Niva keeps reading them.

And because the author has a barely disguised fetish, we get to jump right into the incest using the tabloids as an excuse:

WHO TALKS LIKE THAT TO THEIR SISTER????

If people are reading your behaviour as romantic, to the point that it's getting printed into tabloids, it really makes me question just what you were doing to give off that impression. (We get a good idea of this pretty fast in this vignette.)

If I didn't know they were sisters, I would think they are dating.

Because this is a couple spat.

As for the claim that people can't comprehend sincere devotion without sex, well, if the Avatar and her sister are always touching each other in public in the ways that lovers do, then it isn't the public who is misreading the situation.

Again, this isn't how SIBLING'S talk.

This is how romantic partners speak to each other.

If I can pull this lines out, and show them to a total normie, and they would think this is a couple, then you have written a romance, not a sisterly bond.

And I'm sorry, but if someone is always having their arms wrapped around each other in rather intimate ways, and talking about how devoted they are to said person, then people are going to make assumptions. It's not them misunderstanding what they're seeing or reading too much into it. It's them seeing how too people are acting, and making a conclusion.

Alright, moving on.

Here's a red flag for any relationship:

Our supposedly confident, self actualized Avatar needs an excuse to assert her boundaries.

So either the Avatar isn't actually a confident, self actualized badass like Lily claims, or, her sister has reacted negatively to demands for space in the past, making the avatar nervous about asking for said space without an excuse.

Either way, this is yikes behaviour, and something any other author would explore, but we all know Lily won't explore it.

We then get a little bit about how Niva hate's Republic City because it makes her feel overwhelmed and overstimulated, which if Niva is meant to be on the spectrum, is a nice bit of character building.

We then get them bashing the food in Republic City because it's "corporate" and then Lavi tells her to "just be honest about her need for space", they hug, and we end on this groaner:

Probably the most normal part of this relationship, and guess what?

It sucks.

I think it's the last two lines. They just scream "I need a witty closer".

And that was Space.

I think I need Space from it. 🤣😭

This was another episode in our growing series called "the author's barely disguised fetish". And while I'm certain Lily gets a lot of enjoyment out of subjecting people to it without their knowledge or consent, I do not.

And I went into this knowing exactly what it was going to contain.

To summarize my thoughts on this literal nothingburger of a story...

I don't have any.

Despite being gross because of the incest, it really doesn't actually tell you much about the characters outside Niva feeling like she can't even ask for space from her sister, which would be fine... if Niva wasn't supposed to be a self-confident badass. So now it just reads as problematic, but we all know this will never be addressed.

Honestly, the incest is the only thing that either of those characters have going for them, and that's both parts gross, tragic and hilarious.

Now get out of my house.

#Lily orchard #avatar niva #space #fanfic review

[iamadequate1]

"Discomfort in a Married State" What does this mean?

In Discord, I jokingly said I'd do the Webster's Dictionary trope to start a post.

But... was I joking?

Webster's Dictionary defines marriage as "an intimate or close union," or closely, marry as "to unite in close and usually permanent relation." Taking about marriage is not just about a literal spousal union, and it is not just about romance. You have aspects and ideas in your life that you are married to even though you don't put the word to it. "Marriage of flavors", "married to your job", "marry academic disciplines,"... I had a teacher who said "I'm not married to this idea" when writing something in scratch work as a possibility.

The title "Discomfort in a Married State" is pulled from a quote from the real Stede Bonnet at his trial, and it's repurposed in the show, used at the start of Fictional Stede's pirate journey rather than the end. To me, I do not feel like the adjective is used in the episode as actually being about a spousal union. Stede is not a good fit with Mary, no, and the episode opens with both Stede and Mary both being pushed into the marriage by their parents because of societal expectations and goes on to show that their marriage doesn't work. However, Mary's not alone in Stede's horror dream, and it doesn't just feature his failures in their marriage: the "married state" title drop slides directly to his father mocking Stede's aversion to violence (and weakness, in his, the father's, eyes) and Smoke Blackbeard and Alma serving as a callback to his naive pirate dreams becoming more starkly real when he was stabbed. Mary wasn't what Stede left; unfortunate as it is, as a man, he had other less extreme options to make an unhappy marriage more comfortable for him. The "marriage" Stede has is the life that his father and role at birth pushed him into, and initially, Stede planned to take Mary with him in leaving it. Stede pushed out into what he viewed as a more idealized lifestyle, even though he's finding out its not the final destination in his journey.

On Ed's side, his parallel is not his relationship with Izzy. In his first big conversation with Stede (the one in the library), he says plainly what his "discomfort" is:

Ed: You ever feel trapped, like you're just treading water, waiting to drown? Stede: Yes, I very much have felt that way. Ed: Blackbeard always wins, that's the thing. He can't fail. It's not even a challenge anymore. People just see the flag, and they freak out, Blackbeard!, and they basically just give up, they surrender. What's the point? I don't even need to be on the boat. I'm a ghost. There's no chaos, there's no drama, there's no fucking life! Stede: Look, I can't believe I'm saying this, but have you ever considered retirement?

Ed's "marriage" is with the Blackbeard persona and the pirate life. He's not happy, and he is also looking for a way out. He's idly mentioning death as an alternative (e.g., the "I haven't died yet, have I?" outburst with Izzy, and "I'm thinking about packing it all in". It can be a bit of a grind"" to Stede before Stede introduces Ed to retirement). He then pivots to the brief identity theft escape, then the China plan with Stede. There is a parallel of the marriage -> finding escape pipeline. Ed and Stede were both intrinsically bound to lives they do not want, and they had to take dramatic steps to leave them.

Izzy narratively differs from Mary in that Mary isn't an antagonist (bless you, DJenks). This is a storytelling medium without monologuing voice overs or Shakespearean soliloquies, and something needs to be in story to represent that conflict. Izzy is the representation of the external antagonistic force that adds fuel to Ed's internal conflict, analogous to the function that the Badmintons (instead of Mary) have for Stede. This is what we mean when we say Izzy is a plot device for Ed's (and to a lesser extent, Stede's) story: most of his scenes (all in S1?) revolve around keeping Ed in a life he doesn't want while also functionally servicing as a conventional reaction to Stede's brand of captaincy (characters like Lucius or Frenchie have their own independent quirks, so that's why they don't get this same comparison). Izzy is in story as the obstacle that keeps pulling Ed into that life, into that marriage with that persona. The story is not literally saying Ed is married to Izzy or that they were former lovers, but as the representation in story, Izzy is going to act like a jilted spouse. (And Ed's not into him and views him as a father figure, so... not a literal spousal marriage.)

In the end, the "married state" is not literally about Mary or Izzy. Stede would still be unhappy with a different wife or as a bachelor in the same stagnating lifestyle. Ed would still be unhappy with a different first mate but still living as Blackbeard. Ed reacting strongly in 2x7 when he thought there would be a conflict of a possible deal breaking choice of staying with Stede and leaving piracy show that it isn't just about the right person but making sure that the two perfect people who found each other are both in a position to live a life that makes them both happy outside of their relationship. This is also a romcom very pointedly leading toward a climatic wedding of Ed and Stede, and the message is not that Stede and Ed don't like being married at all: they need to work together to reach a "married state" that satisfies all facets of their lives. They're so close!

We're joined to one another. Intertwined. We wrote our names on each other in permanent ink.

They're working together on their relationship ("the inn" at the end of 2x8 isn't literally about the inn), and they're finding the path to go on that takes them both to a place to where they want to be.

Also, "Comfort in a Married State", calling it as an episode title after WBD collapses and OFMD gets a pick up 🥰

#our flag means death #ofmd #stede bonnet #ed teach #mary bonnet #izzy hands #discomfort in a married state #i can't wait for wbd to collapse #don't stream on max #Youtube

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

hate that I have to clarify whenever I think of two characters as having a powerful and purely platonic bond as "just friends". like I have to say that but they are not "just" anything.

did you hear me. I said they are friends. not brothers or siblings or maternal or paternal or any other familially-defined relationship. they are friends!!! do you know how powerful that is??? they! are! friends!!! they are FRIENDS

#storyrambles #random #how i feel about leorio and kurapika towards gon tbh #also odasaku and dazai... i'm more apt to accept the idea of romantic feelings than i am 'brothers' or 'fatherly' - it's just not them #but usually i prefer it platonic #even kyouka and atsushi are like this to me #i don't really see them as big brother younger sister tbh #they're friends :) #also killua and gon definitely have quite a bit of romantic hinting going on there (i personally am willing to bat for it being intentional #but at this stage their friendship is the most important thing!!! and i honestly believe it will remain the most important thing! #do you think any kind of lasting romance isn't founded on strong friendship??????