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theonewiththefanfics · 6 years

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Never The Friend (one-shot)

Synopsis: The Reader has always been in love with Bucky, as he has been with her, but neither ever made a move. So when Bucky brings home a new girl, the Readers takes drastic measures to protect her already broken heart, but what will Bucky do to regain the person who he truly loves?

In The End (one-shot/ follow-up)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: SMUT (or my shitty attempts at writing it; first-timer, so please be gentle); unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, guys); swearing; brief crossover with Criminal Minds (aka, Spencer Reid is involved)

Genre: angst

Word count: 7349 (boy, this gon be a long ride)

“You gotta tell him.” “Tell who what?” “Bucky! You have to tell him how you feel.” Y/N’s eyes almost bulged out of her head. “Wanda I love you like a sister, but mention this topic once again and I’ll put your heard through a wall.” “If you don’t, then he’ll just start dating someone and you’ll be miserable.” “I already am and by the way- that is how crushes work. You fall for someone way out of your league, they don’t feel the same, you die alone with twenty cats and then they eat your body. Simple as that.” Wanda huffed, exasperation clearly evident in the puff of air, but there wasn’t anything she could do to make Y/N tell the man she was in love with how the girl felt. The Scarlet Witch had been watching her best friend pine over the man for far too long and she knew that Bucky was absolutely in love with the girl, yet he did nothing. So Wanda had hoped that maybe Y/N would gather up the courage and make the first move, but as it would appear, that would not happen anytime soon. “But, Y/N, he is crazy about you.” “Who is crazy about Y/N?” Bucky snapped the two girls out of their conversation as he appeared in the common room. “No one,” Y/N was quick to dispel any implications. She took a sip of her wine and threw Wanda a warning glance. “Okay then,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Anyways, I just wanted you to meet someone.” Suddenly the noise of clicking heels invaded Y/N’s and Wanda’s senses. A gorgeous brunette appeared behind Bucky. She wrapped her arm around his waist and he mimicked the action while a dazzling smile stretched his face. “Y/N, Wanda this is my girlfriend Diana. Diana, that is Y/N,” he gestured at the girl who had a tightlipped smile and a heart that was shattering in pieces, “my best friend and that is Wanda- a chick you really don’t wanna mess with.” He once again threw the girl that brilliant white smile, making Y/N’s heart clench even more.

“Yup,” the redhead piped up, scarlet swirls weaving around her fingers. “And just as a precaution- if you hurt anyone in my family, I‘ll end you.” Diana looked incredibly nervous, but she masked it with a nod of her head and a small laugh. “Duly noted.” “Come on, Wanda,” Bucky pulled the brunette’s body closer to his own. “Don’t be mean and make me regret introducing someone I care about to you bunch.” “Wan,” Y/N’s voice made her look over to the Y/E/C eyed beauty, hidden pain laced in her words and shining through her eyes. Pain only Wanda noticed as it wove its way through her heart and interlaced the broken pieces. “Be nice.” She turned her gaze to the woman. “It’s really lovely to meet you, Diana.” Y/N smiled, but the witch saw through the facade. And anyone else but Bucky would as well. “Thank you, Y/N. That’s why you’re my favourite.” The man smiled at the fellow Avenger. “Really? Are you gonna break Steve’s heart like that?” Y/N sipped on her wine, letting the bitter taste make its way down her throat and fill her veins. Bucky threw his head back in mock frustration. “Doll, come on.” He detached himself from Diana and leaned down by the sofa, grabbing Y/N’s palm in his. There was a sweet smile playing on the brown-haired beauty's face as she observed his interaction with the most important people in his life. “You know you are my number one. My favourite. My best gal. Steve- he has nothing on you. He means nothing.” Y/N decided to play along even though every word out of his mouth was like a knife in her already demolished heart. “I don't know, Buck. You two seemed pretty cosy yesterday. And watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine without me… that’s just the highest degree of betrayal.” “He made me, doll,” he kissed Y/N’s palm sending every atom in her body ablaze. No, she scolded herself. I have no right to feel that way. He’s not mine to love… “What about this- tomorrow, after me and Diana get back from our date, we rewatch every season and every episode?” “Sorry, I can’t. Clint, Na and I are going on a mission. Probably won’t be back for a couple of weeks at least.” “How- how come I didn’t know about this?” “You didn’t come to the briefing this morning.” The girl shrugged and chugged down the last of her wine. Wanda gave her a pitiful smile to which Y/N replied with a small shake of her head. The girl's hand almost shook as she reached for the dark bottle and refilled the glass. The liquid poured out like blood spilling from a body. The same way her heart was bleeding out. “Maybe next time, Buck.” Y/N didn’t even look at him as she said that because in truth there would be no next time. Not after this. Even looking at him had already become unbearable. She’d just have to find a way to avoid Bucky. Maybe even for good.

“It’s probably not permanent.” Nat tried to console the girl. They had just finished the mission and after almost a month of gruelling fighting and laying low they were on their way back. It had dragged to two weeks at first, then into the third one and then finally the fourth and last one, unpredictable complications making it way harder than it should've been. “Nat, have you seen the way he looks at the girl? It’s like she’s the reason the universe exists. She makes him happy. So why wouldn’t it be long term? Besides, it has nothing to do with me. He is a free man who can do as he pleases.” Clint glanced over his shoulder form the copilot’s seat, throwing his fellow assassin a look. “Guys, seriously. Stop it. He… he’s happy and that is all that matters.” “Yeah,” the archer stood up and went to crouch down beside Y/N pulling the first aid kit out and finding disinfectant, pinchers and a thread. “But he’s not with you.” “Can’t really help that, can I?” Y/N mumbled a reply before a hiss went through her clenched teeth. The metal dug deep into her skin as Clint fished for the bullet in her leg. With one fast movement, the cone-shaped piece was out and a white cotton rag to soak up the blood was placed on the wound. The two Avengers looked at the girl. Throughout the whole mission, she had definitely been off. It wasn’t the bubbly youngster that threw jokes at the most inappropriate times, competing even with Stark for the title of the biggest wisecrack. This woman was a dull version of who everyone loved. It was like her world was now in muted colours, and the vibrant sounds were distorted, but most importantly- her light, her Sun had gone out and the universe was doused in darkness. Y/N didn’t even flinch as Clint pushed the needle through her skin as if all the pain had gone to her heart and she could no longer feel anything else. “Y/N,” Nat pushed a strand of her Y/H/C hair away from her face. It was matted and covered in the same scarlet substance leaking from her flesh. But she just pushed the other woman away. “Don’t. Just, please, don’t. I need to get over him and you ain’t helping.” No one knew what to do. No one knew how to fix what Bucky had broken. It took them nine hours to get to New York. Nat decided to take a nap and Y/N tried to follow suit, but sleep didn’t come. It hadn’t for a month now. She laid in her bed, eyes trained on the ceiling and contemplating her feelings. How can one person turn someone’s world around so completely that when they find someone else who they fall in love with, it becomes like one’s soul has been ripped to shreds and laid for wolves to feast upon? When they landed, Y/N gently shook Nat awake and helped the sleepy Avenger out of the plane. At this point, she didn’t feel the burning of the bullet hole. But oh, how she wished, for it would’ve been better than seeing Bucky’s relieved face and feeling her heart clench with longing at the sight. “Oh thank, God, you’re okay.” His large arms swept Y/N up, engulfing her in a giant hug, their bodies moulding together like they were made for each other. The girl awkwardly patted his back, retreating to the cold nature she had decided to put on where Bucky was considered. “I’m fine, Buck. You didn’t have to worry,” quickly she pulled back and started walking to her room. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m tired and I wanna go to bed.” Bucky called after her, but the girl paid him no mind. The cut had to be swift, clean and easy, otherwise, she didn’t think she’d be able to keep it together.

And that’s how it started. She skipped out on their movie nights, rather spending time with Pietro and Wanda. She shut him down when he offered to take her out for pizza. Y/N even stopped recommending him books, leaving the man to his own devices. But as much as she pulled away, he seemed to be doing just fine, which Y/N supposed was a good thing for his and Diana’s relationship. They were now three months in and happier than ever. The girl wasn’t hogging his time anymore, so he was able to spend it with the woman he was in love with. To Y/N’s disappointment that also involved letting Diana come to the tower and hang out with the rest of the Avengers, but whenever that happened, there was this certain feel in the air, a wave of tension that rippled across. Y/N didn’t mention it, she didn’t say it, though after one night when Bucky had decided to walk Diana home, she stood up and gave everyone a talk. “I don’t need you guys to hate the girl. Did you see how uncomfortable she looked?” “So?” Tony piped up, a glass of whiskey in his hand. “So? Look, guys,” Y/N sat down, head in her hands, “Bucky is happy with her. And that is all that matters. Not me or my feelings. He does.” The girl looked over at Steve, who had his lips pursed as he did not agree with his friends choice. “He. Is. Happy. And what you’re doing every time she comes over makes me feel even shittier, because guess what- me and Bucky- we’re near gonna happen. He has made it clear by now that it won’t. He’s in love. And Diana seems really sweet. So please, don’t do this to them because of me. I’ll be fine. Eventually…” With that, she stood up and walked to her room. Throughout the whole thing, not one tear had rolled down her cheeks, not one night had been spent crying her heart out, but it would seem that that had come to an end. With a broken sob, she clutched a palm over her mouth and slid down the doors. She spent her whole night like that- arms woven around her waist and legs pulled to her chest, letting salty pearls slip down and dampen the carpet. When the first morning rays broke the black-blue sky, only then did Y/N gather herself, stand up and went to the shower. She turned it to the hottest setting, the water scorching her skin, and burning the tears away. She would cry no more, for it was her own fault she had fallen for her best friend.

Time passed but it didn’t become easier. Not one bit. Every time the couple was around, it was like he found more and more ways to shatter the pieces that once made her heart a whole. But the biggest punch wasn’t even that. It was when he forgot Y/N’s birthday. Yeah, she maybe hadn’t been the warmest towards him or the best friend he needed, but this occasion was the one thing she counted to have her whole family around, Bucky, hell, Diana included. But when his chair stood empty, plate and cutlery unused, Y/N simply stood up and walked out of the dining room. No Avenger tried to stop her.

Diana and Bucky had now been together for almost five and a half months. It was torture, looking at the man Y/N was absolutely and utterly in love with being happy with someone else. She was cuddled up with Pietro, the plasma TV playing the intro to ‘Friends’ as the pair just laid there. The speedsters fingers wove through the girl’s hair, a soothing motion that somehow did the trick of calming her mind at least for a bit. “You okay, princessa?” Y/N huffed, pulling Pietro’s body closer to hers, a hand wrapped around his waist, needing the comfort. “Honestly… no. I don’t know if I can take it much longer. It just… it’s too hard.” A single silent tear splashed onto his white T-shirt, instantly turning the material grey. He hated how withdrawn Y/N had become, despising the state Bucky had put her in. She had been there for the silver-haired man more than anyone, apart from Wanda, of course. He even saw Y/N as a sister now, the brotherly need to protect the girl kicking in. “You know, Fury was about to assign someone to take over the British branch,” Pietro gently slid his fingers through Y/N’s hair. “Maybe you could offer your expertise.” It pained him to say this, to think about the fact that she’d be an ocean away, but maybe that is what she needed. She patted the man’s chest and let her head rest on the flesh. “Maybe I should.” A sigh laced with pain and longing escaped her lips. “Why does this always happen? And why does it have to hurt so much?” “I don’t know, princessa, I don’t know.” Pietro’s own heart was breaking seeing the state of his friend. He wanted to punch Bucky across the room and break every bone in his body for making Y/N suffer so much. But right now, the girl needed him more.

“You’re leaving?” Y/N didn’t even bother looking up from her bags, stashing everything in them. “For how long?” “I’m taking over the leadership of the British branch. So I assume permanently.” Her tone was cold, calculated and professional. “You can’t do that,” Bucky countered back, the surprise still evident in his tone. “I can and I will,” she zipped up her suitcase and placed it on the ground. “I am an Avenger, with more than enough experience and I need a change of pace. Something a bit more relaxing.” “Leaving your home and friends behind is relaxing?” Y/N shrugged her shoulders, her facade of nonchalance on the verge of crumbling. “As I said- I need a change of pace.” He was just looking at her, staring with those piercing blue eyes, almost pleading for someone to tell him it wasn’t true. “Why?” Y/N hung her head, a tear rolling down her cheek. “You know why.” “No, I don’t. That’s why I’m here. Doll, what the fuck has been going on with you? Why are you so distant?” “I’m not,” Y/N mumbled back. “You haven’t talked to me in almost two months!” “You’re with Diana! So why should you care for me?!“ “What does she have to do with everything?” Y/N groaned, throwing her head back and pushing an angry fist in her hair. “You absolute, idiot! I love you!” Time stilled right after the words were out of her mouth. “And you're with Diana, I know. You’re always with someone. But it’s never me. I’m never the one you wanna be with. ” “No, doll, that is not true.” “Then how come you didn’t remember my birthday, Bucky?” He was stunned. How could he have forgotten about it? With the whole trying to figure out why Y/N wasn’t talking to him he had forgotten one of the most important days of someone he truly loved. “I-“ “Yeah. You. Bucky, I deserve more than to be remembered when I’m about to die or lying in a hospital or when I'm going on a mission. I’m worth more than that. Especially to someone who called me their best friend...” “Buck- oh, Y/N!” Diana’s sweet voice entered the scene as she slid an arm up Bucky’s bicep. “You are actually who I was looking for. Our six month anniversary is coming up and I wanted to know if you’re free next Saturday.” Her smile was so nice, so sincere it was like a thousand daggers to Y/N's heart. “I’m sorry Diana, but I can’t. I’m going to London.” “Oh, for how long?” She looked at Bucky, desperation evident in his eyes. “A permanent station. I’ll be taking over their SHIELD branch.” That seemed to take words out of Diana’s mouth. In truth, she had wanted to ask Y/N for advice on how to propose to Bucky. She knew about his nightmares and how he thought he was a burden, so the woman wanted to prove to him she was in it for the long haul. “You sure you ca-“ “Diana,” Bucky interrupted the girl as Y/N pulled the strap to her duffle bag on her shoulder. “Could you please give us a moment?” She could sense that something was happening between the two and quiet as a mouse, Diana retreated. Only once when she was out of earshot did one of them make a move. And it was Bucky. It took him less than a second to grab Y/N by her waist and pull her flush against his body, smashing their lips together. A gasp escaped her from the surprise and shock, which Bucky used as an opportunity to slip his tongue in. But for the brief moment Y/N had melted against him, for the brief moment she had responded with the same eagerness, she was even faster at recoiling. “What the fuck, Bucky! You- you can’t just do that!” “Stay, please,” he grasped her hand, “I need you. I can’t live without you. Doll, fuck I need you in my life.” Y/N shook her head. “No. No, you don’t get to do this to me. Not this time.” “Doll, ple-“ “No!” the pain her heart felt made her whole body tremble. It was so hard. “No. I’m never going to be your first choice. You’ll never love me the way I want you to love me.” Y/N took a final glance at the man as he now stood in her bare room. “So I need to get away from you, from all of it, to let my heart heal. Maybe someday it won’t hurt as bad, but for now....” She wiped a tear away. “Goodbye, Bucky.” He saw her form retreat, the only thing he could hear was his dull heartbeat echoing in his chest as the last words were put on replay in his mind. No, Bucky was not about to lose her. He didn’t deserve the girl, not after everything he’d put her through, but he just had to try one last time. His feet moved faster than he ever thought was possible, but it was as if karma had played a cruel joke on him because right when he entered the hanger, the jet that carried Y/N thousands of miles away disappeared from sight. Nat turned around, cheeks stained with what could only be remnants of tears, the same as the rest of his team, a scowl on her face. “Now you decide to do something.” She pushed past him, shoulder painfully slamming into his. No one talked to him, no one even looked at him as the family, one member less, made their way to the common room, a lab or somewhere else. Only Steve stopped by Bucky’s side, placing a palm on his shoulder. He opened his mouth, but in the end, even the Captain had nothing to say to the ex-Winter Soldier, so he just squeezed the flesh and went his way, leaving the man to stare at the empty sky.

The first month was hell for Y/N. She spent every night looking out the glass wall of her bedroom upon the lights of London- so similar to New York’s yet not even remotely the same. She cried every night and greeted the day with puffy cheeks. That is until a certain Spencer Reid from Quantico’s BAU got himself assigned as the lead profiler for their missions. He brought back a spark to her life. He was quick-witted and matched Y/N in every single way, becoming her best friend. As the director she didn’t get much time to talk to her ex-family back at the Stark tower and once she had realised that, the girl set herself on making a new one. Reid had become the first member. Slowly but surely he weaselled his way into her closed off persona, made her life a bit more fun. Then came Alexis- a young girl, full of ambition, that Y/N couldn’t help but mother and show how to take the reigns of the missions she was sent out on. Jordan came next, who surprised his new superior with a fruit basket. Albeit the fruits had been in a liquified version and alcoholic, but that had only made Y/N love him more. Now, a year later, the quartet was inseparable. Everyone cared for everyone and looked out for their wellbeing. Movie nights, unless someone was on a mission or needed at the base, were a given and copious amounts of pizza were eaten. Obviously, all of them would, later on, have to work the gained pounds off. But the mornings, when they were still in the food coma, bleary-eyed and tired, those were the moments they cherished beyond everything else. “Director Y/L/N!” Spencer called out as he entered her office and placed a Starbucks cup on her table. The iced coffee left condensation stains on the wood, but she couldn’t care less. “My genius!” Y/N replied with the same amount of enthusiasm before going to hug him good-morning. “So,” he propped himself on her table, “what’s on the agenda for today? By the way, Penelope says hi, and she can’t thank you enough for the bracelet.” Y/N chuckled. “Tell my nugget, that she is very welcome and for us,” she flipped her calendar, heart dropping in an instant. The girl had forgotten about the dreaded date, which seemed to be today. “For us,” she swallowed, “the, uh, the Avengers are flying in with Director Fury to check out our base. And to see how we could, umm, make collaboration overseas easier.” “Hey,” Spencer grabbed her palm, “are you okay?” Avengers meant that Bucky would come too. And even though it had been a year, Y/N wasn’t sure she was ready to face the man that had hurt her that bad. You’re the Director of SHIELD’S British branch, you can behave like an adult. “I’m great,” Y/N threw the agent a dazzling smile. “Let’s go greet our guests.” The second they stepped outside, all of the air got knocked out of her lungs. Because there he was. It seemed like time hadn’t passed at all. Still the same long chocolate hair, the same ice-blue eyes, the jawline so sharp it could cut diamonds in half and plump lips that had once kissed her. Almost subconsciously her fingers went to trail over her mouth before she caught on to what she was doing and steadied herself. “Director Fury, the Avengers. Welcome to our humble home.” “Oh, cut with the crap, Y/L/N,” Tony removed his sunglasses and opened up his arms. “And come and give me a hug. I haven’t seen you in a fucking year, so you best, believe me, I’ll kill you if you don’t.” “Oh, don’t be so overdramatic, Stark,” but without a second to spare the girl launched her body into his, the familiar scent of aftershave and what was undoubtedly remnants of Pepper’s perfume invaded her senses and for the first time in a long while, Y/N felt like she was truly home. “My turn, my turn, my turn,” Wanda’s accented voice rang out before she almost physically pulled the pair apart and latched onto Y/N. “God, I’ve missed you.” “I missed you too, Wanda. Every damned day.” Once Y/N detached herself from a very reluctant Sokovian and her twin brother, she gave out hugs and kisses to everyone. Last was Bucky, who got only a brief pat on his back before Y/N went into director mode and showed the people around. Most afternoon and day was spent in a briefing room, Steve, Tony, Fury and Y/N being the main people who conversed, talking about upgrades, what new developments Stark and Banner had made or simply how could they improve additional dispatch forces if they needed to be sent out. Afternoon turned into evening, which meant that sooner than anticipated the Avengers had to leave. The goodbye was hard, for everyone. Especially for Bucky. He had wanted to talk to the girl privately through the whole day, but work came first and she didn’t even spare him a sideways glance. When his nose had caught the whiff of her shampoo he was ready to clutch onto her body and burst into tears from happiness. He was there. She was with him. Yet at the same time, Y/N had never been further away from the man. And when it came time for him to return to New York, the realisation hit him like a ton of bricks. This might be the only time in years he’d get to see her. But it had been no use, as the team piled up in the jet his eyes caught Y/N’s retreating from down below where he was stood on the roof. Bucky looked on as she walked away, arms linked with a man’s whose hair was messy and the colour of sand and the other one with a bubbly young girl’s. “Buck, you coming?” He turned around and found a smiling Steve. “Or are you finally going after the girl of your dreams?”

Thunder rolled over London and bright flashes of light illuminated Y/N’s apartment. She turned to the other side, snuggling her face into the mountain of pillows, trying to block out the light. The woman was on the verge of sleep once more, when loud rumbles brought her out of the state. For a second she just thought it was another wave of thunder, but then it came again. It was rhythmic ramming against something wooden, something solid. Someone was at her door. Begrudgingly she pulled the warm covers off of her body and padded her way through the dark corridor. The silk pyjama shirt and shorts left little to no imagination, but Y/N was pissed enough that if it was someone who intended to harm her, they’d be dead before they could even catch a glimpse of what she was wearing. With a yank, she unlocked the door, and a gasp of surprise left her lips. There stood Bucky, completely drenched from head to toe, with his chest heaving as if he’d just ran a marathon. “Barnes? What are you doing here? It’s the middle of the fucking night. Wha- wait. What are you doing here in London? Aren’t you supposed to be on the je-“ “On the jet to New York? Yeah.” “Then why are you here?” He gulped down. “Because I left something behind.” “Oh,” she crossed her arms over her chest. “In that case why didn’t you leave a message? I’d send it to you tomorrow.” “You- you can’t pack, what I left and bring it to a post office.” He made his way closer, a trail of rain left in his wake, but Y/N didn’t really care. There was something in his gaze, that made her throw caution to the wind. “Cause that thing, I forgot,” his palm went to cradle her cheek, electricity shooting through every part of her body. “Yeah?” it was barely a whisper, no louder than a drop of water against the windowsill. “Was you.” And once again, like that time a year ago, his lips were on hers. He fit so perfectly against Y/N like his body was sculpted to mould against the girl. Like she was the question and he was the answer. A thunder with its lighting. Her thoughts were in a daze, as fingers wove through messy wet hair, pulling his face closer to hers. The pyjama got instantly stained and it wasn’t until she felt cold water droplets seep through the material and touch her breasts she pushed him violently away. “No, Bucky, no. We’re not doing this. Not after everything. I’m not going to let you break m-“ “I left her.” Y/E/C eyes snapped up to see his blue ones. In the dark, they were the tone of the night sky, though it might be the lust making its appearance as well. “What?” “Whe- aft-“ he pulled in a deep breath, gathering his thoughts and taking a step closer to the girl, while at the same time gauging her reaction. “The second you said that you’re leaving, I realised what mistake I had made. What I had given up. And I understand why you did it. God, I was such a fucking idiot. But when you said it was permanent, that you wouldn’t be coming back… it- it snapped something in me. I had been trying to push my feelings away for so long. I mean why would you want a monster like that- no, let me finish. And- and when you pulled on that duffel bag, when I looked around your room and saw the bare walls, saw that you’re leaving all the pictures you have of us behind… I realised I can’t live without you. And not in a friends kind of a way.” “When you said you loved me… it was like I had finally gotten everything I had ever wanted in life. Because you were mine and I was yours. And then Dia-“ “Diana,” Y/N finished the little word. “Yeah. I finally understood that I was just trying to fill out the void what the thought of never being with you had created. And after that mission, after you distanced yourself from me, I threw everything I had at her, but it wasn’t enough. I just didn’t feel that thing…” He was now standing right in front of her. Bucky’s nose brushed against Y/N’s, gentle palms gripping onto her waist as if afraid she’d disappear. “I didn’t feel my heart racing every time she laughed. I didn’t feel my mouth going completely dry every time I looked at her, cause I was at a loss for words from her beauty.” Water dripped down onto her chest and disappeared into her night attire. “I didn’t feel this unquenchable need to kiss her, to touch her skin,” a finger slid along her bicep, brushing a droplet up to her collarbone, sending a shiver down her spine. “With Diana, I didn’t have the want to wake up every morning with her by my side. Cause each day that she rolled around, all I could think was of you. How you would look with a bed head. How your eyes would glint as the morning sun shone through the windows. How it would feel to kiss you and whisper that I love you, making your day start off with feeling like you’re someone’s everything.” Y/N wasn’t breathing anymore. Her arms were still crossed over her chest, but Y/E/C eyes didn’t let go of Bucky’s gaze. “And when our six month anniversary rolled around, I realised what mistake I had made. The next day I broke up with her. I explained everything. She turned out to be surprisingly understanding, but by then the damage was already done. You were gone.” It was all too much. Y/N’s brain was having a hard time to comprehend what Bucky had just said, but what was a bigger mess was her heart. All this time of trying to push her feelings away, the futile attempts at mending the broken pieces, all of that had now been destroyed, by the same man who had caused her broken state in the first place. “And, umm,” she cleared her throat, a flash of lightning illuminating the conflict on her face, “what now?” “Now it's up to you. Whatever you choose, I’ll do it.” His metal palm gently cupped her cheek. “If you tell me to go, then I will. You’ll never see me again and I will never try to contact you. But if you’ll allow me to stay,” he took a Y/H/C piece of a strand and twirled it between his fingers. It had come out of the braid Y/N had made before going to bed and to Bucky, the messy state was the most gorgeous she’d ever looked to him. “I'll spend the rest of my life trying to regain your trust and love. I will spend my days showing you what you really mean to me. I’ll give my everything to you. All I ask in return is one chance to make things right, to show the girl who has my heart that I’m absolutely and utterly hers. And that there is no one else in the world, I’d want to spend my life.” Silence settled over them, Bucky’s heart beating in an erratic rhythm. He was sure he was going into cardiac arrest before Y/N answered, sending him soaring. “You get one try, Bucky and that is it.” He didn’t wait for a second more as his lips pulled in a brilliant smile and he pressed them against Y/N’s. He covered her face with kisses while wrapping his arms around her body and lifting her up. Through the daze he made his way to where he had seen was her kitchen counter and placed her there, standing between her parted legs. Bucky kissed down her cheek and moved on to the side of her neck. The man bit and sucked there until he found that one spot, that one place that made Y/N curl her toes, a moan escaping her lips. “Bed,” she rasped out, “now.” He didn’t need to be told twice. With her legs wrapped around his waist, he carried the girl towards a hallway, but not before pressing her against the walls multiple times. When they got to her room, Y/N was already bare, the silk ripped to shreds and lying in pieces somewhere across her floors. Bucky sucked right at the hollow of her neck, making the girl arch her back. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” and like the lightning that flashed across their bodies, illuminating them in a silver glow, Y/N had his jacket, scarf and shirt off in no time. Rough fingers wove through his wet hair, pulling Bucky flush against Y/N. He’d dreamt for so long to have her like this, passion completely clouded his head. Detaching from her lips, which was hard enough as to him there was no better taste than her mouth, he did want to explore other parts of her as well. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Bucky whispered out, gentle fingers gliding along her sides, sending shivers up and down her spine, goosebumps rising all over. His lips, soft as the touch of a feather, made their way down Y/N’s body. First, they latched onto one nipple, sucking and biting until he was satisfied with how much the girl was writhing underneath him before making his way to the other side. When he was appeased, looking up to see her body already flushed, a thin sheen of sweat covering her glowing skin, he made his way further down. Bucky made sure he left purple marks all across, a beautiful string on her ribs and a perfect belt across her hips. Warm hands pushed her legs open and he slid his mouth across the insides of her thighs, grazing the soft skin there with his teeth. “Breathtaking,” Bucky pressed a sweet kiss right where Y/N wanted him the most, yet not giving her the full thing. “Bucky, please. I need you.” Her right hand was woven through his hair, nails scraping along his scalp. And although he wanted her to beg, for her to be almost in tears from his teasing and denial, there would be another time for that. In an instant his mouth was on her clit, sucking at it. Y/N’s back arched up from the bed, making Bucky use his metal arm to push her hips back down. A whine escaped her lips as her eyes almost rolled back into her head from the pleasure. He lapped and swirled his tongue around the sensitive nub, making the girl grasp onto his hair even more. Blue eyes looked up to find Y/N staring down at him, one hand clutching the sheets so hard there was a tear in the fabric and her knuckles were white. The man let go of the thigh he’d been massaging the whole time and instead interlinked it with Y/N’s palm. Her grip tightened as he removed the metal arm from her waist and inserted two fingers into her hot entrance. The feeling of the cold vibranium made her body lurch up as the two digits stretched her out and once they started the pace of moving in an out she was a goner. Nothing but white-hot pleasure existed and a tight knot started to form in her lower belly. Bucky could feel that Y/N was close. It didn’t matter that he was using the prosthetic arm, he could still feel pressure and with the way her walls were clenching around him, he knew she was teething right at the edge. Bucky made his fingers into a come-hither motion, hitting that spot deep inside, making a guttural moan escape her lips and with only a few more movements she was letting go, coating everything with her juices, the man drinking it up like he’d been starved for decades. Only when he was sure she had come down from her high, eyes still closed as stars exploded behind her lids, he sucked the excess off of his fingers and leaned down to kiss her. “Fuck, I need you,” Y/N moaned into his mouth, the taste of her on his lips intoxicating the girl even more. “You have me, all of me.” His drenched jeans were gone, shoes and socks hitting the floor at the same time, boxers following suit. Y/N’s fingers wrapped around his length and stroked it a few times, making Bucky’s abs clench in anticipation. She aligned him with her entrance and with a slow push he sheeted himself inside of her. Y/E/C eyes flew open at the feel of Bucky stretching her out so much. The girl’s nails dug into his back, some places drawing even blood, but there was no sweeter pain for the man. Ice blue eyes that had changed their colour to a stormy sea looked deep into that of the woman’s. She nodded her head as a signal for him to start moving, so Bucky slid out almost completely before burying himself inside once more. Connecting their lips in a searing kiss, he started a relentless pace. It was borderline brutal, but the love, the passion, the need to take care of her dispelled anything that could be angry about it. It didn’t take long for Y/N to feel that familiar tightness in her stomach. “Bucky, I’m gonna cum.” “Let go, doll. I got you.” Few more thrusts and she was falling once again. Explosions of pleasure rippled through her body, making every atom ignite and light aflame. Y/N thought that Bucky was right behind her, but his pace didn’t falter, instead, a hand snaked between their bodies and a cold finger pressed onto her clit. “No, Buck,” she shook her head as he assaulted the oversensitive nerve, “I can’t. No more.” “Just one more, baby. I know you have it in you.” Suddenly he changed the angle, bringing her to sit on his lap and bounce up and down. The new position pushed Bucky deeper inside of the girl, making Y/N full-on scream his name at the feeling of it. “Come on, darling. I know you can get there. I’m right behind you, just need you to- shit, fuck, you’re so tight!” He moved his thumb vigorously around her clit and tears streamed down her face as Y/N succumbed to pleasure once more. Her arms clutched around Bucky’s body, trying to hold onto something that was tangible and real, otherwise, she felt like the universe would rip her apart and she’d disintegrate into molecules. With three more thrusts, Bucky was spilling inside of the girl, holding onto her waist with the same amount of ferocity. It was like Y/N was his only lifeline and thread to the physical world. The pair’s chests heaved as they tried to catch breaths, foreheads pressed together, sweat dripping down onto the sheets. He pressed a kiss against Y/N’s damp skin. “I love you. So much. You’ve always been the one for me, yet I was too stupid to act upon it.” Her palm slid up to cup his rugged cheek and she pressed her mouth against his in a sweet brush of lips. “I love you too. Just next time, if you feel something similar, please say it before I move to a different country. “ Bucky chuckled at that, but soon enough he was full on laughing as he laid their bodies next to one another, never letting Y/N out of his embrace. “Trust me doll, I will never hesitate to tell you how much I love you. I learned my lesson.”

Tags (crossed out couldn’t be tagged, sorry loves): @thunderous-flower @who-cares-rn @palaiasaurus64 @lumelgy @projectxhappiness @callmebucky-doll @coal000 @killuaenthusiast @courtneychicken @sophiealiice @raquelbc2003 @nerissa98 @asguardiansoftheavengers

A/N: it’s almost 3 AM; I should’ve been editing my last assignments, but I regret nothing :DDD

P.S. tell me what you think :)

P.S.S. if you wanna be tagged in future stories or have any requests, please drop a message.

P.S.S.S. please don’t repost without credit :))

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 5 years

Text

Rolling out the tags soon.

Sacred Beasts 2

“Sissy” always pissed me off as a nickname for your sister. It’s clearly meant as a term of endearment in some cases, but it also is the equivalent of “wuss”, y’know???

I’ve seen mushroom soup out of a tin…that don’t look like mushroom soup in that case.

Uh, random question…she has th same surname as Will, but is Schaal herself adopted???

Y’should’ve followed Hank, Nancy…(is her name Nancy or Schaal? Schaal is her middle name, yet she seems more commonly referred to as Schaal…hmm.)

*sees synopsis* - No one mentioned Nancy’s hometown was called Livletwood Village…

I pause my shows a lot to get down these notes…then Crunchyroll or my internet (or both!) cursed me with regular buffering (that can sometimes play video and subs through it, but generally sets down a few seconds after unpausing and lasts for a minute) and made it a pain in the butt to make these notes. But you do realise I basically have notes for almost every show I’ve ever watched under this system? These notes are special to me, which is why I put up with the buffering. It also means impactful scenes lose their impact, meaning well-paced shows get favoured in my picking process on CR these days.

Astra 2

Yup, the 2nd time we talk about how to scavenge for food this season – gotta remember this…in case I ever get into a situation like that. You never know! (creates “The More You Know” star with hands)

I-awwwwwww…I never thought I’d see the day where the Luca Javelin would get animated, much less Astra as a series. Dang, is this a dream???

Eyyyyy. Nothing like endangering your little sister to really understand why you love her…much less understand that you love her in the first place. (partially sarcastic)

Given 1

This is my second rodeo with BL anime (I’ve only read one BL manga and it was pretty darn mediocre, but the one BL game I tried was okay)…hopefully it’s good.

Was there the ticking of a clock in the background???

…and cut to OP. Yay! I can predict when the OP happens now…(It only took me years of training…okay, I’m kidding.)

I think this OP is like a music video…and I think that’s the point.

Kaji??? Is this Eva (LOL)?

I’m no band person – I was merely a solo pianist in my time with music, although notably I did have to sing for one of the musical pieces – but “Thom Yorke” and “Keith Richards” sound familiar. Why???...Okay, so it seems Thom Yorke is part of Radiohead and Keith Richards is part of the Rolling Stones. I’m familiar with those bands by name, at least.

Lemme guess…this guy (Ritsuka) sucks at improv.

I had to go back and find out what Yayoi said a few lines ago…and love her already because she’s like “You suck”…she’s just like me, to be honest.

Early husbando predictions say Haruki is my dude of the season.

Seeing manly dudes act like blushing schoolgirls is great…!

Yushiro-who???...Okay, Yushiro Ishihara is apparently that’s a singer that’s already passed away, but has a bit of a rep behind him.

Is it just me, or is Ritsuka basically a lesser Bakugo…?

Come to think of it, it would be hard for me to teach someone piano now that I haven’t properly played since the end of 2014…almost 5 years. Geesh, that’s a long time.

Welp, that was…actually pretty good. The only thing that sucks is that this ED isn’t rock, to go with the rest of the show.

DanMachi II 1

Another counterintuitive name for a sequel anime season…this is my last premiere before I wrap them up, or at least until Machikado Mazoku (or whatever) land on CR.

…and of course, it’s back to Big Boobies (aka Hestia). She’s probably the worst part of the show for me.

Why does Bell need an advisor anyway…? I never thought about it when watching s1.

Who’s this Naza-sama, anyway…?...Okay, it seems she’s a doctor from the Miach Familia. I don’t remember her from s1, really.

I’ve forgotten who Asfi is as well…Oh yeah, that blue-haired woman from the Hermes Famlia. Hermes seems like a bit of a loose cannon – the sort who wouldn’t have a Familia if given the chance – though.

I think we saw Freya in s1…just scheming behind the scenes…

Hermes looks like a sleazebag half the time he’s on screen…

I forgot how much I loved Miach’s character design in s1...and to a lesser extent, Takemikazuchi.

Demon Slayer 15

…Zenitsu is annoying again.

I didn’t think Tanjiro was scared of anything…excpt maybe losing Nezuko again.

Oh! I just realised Natagumo has a hint in its name…The “gumo” can be read “kumo”…as in cloud or spider, but it’s given with the kanji for spider so it can only be a spider-related problem on Mt Natagumo.

I’d hate to have Smellovision on this show…(What’s Smellovision, you ask??? Here, read up on it…at least, I was thinking of the Google variant, so read up on the Google version.)

Ukogi appears to be a type of plant known as eleutherococcus and ukogi rice is rice with ukogi leaves.

Dr Stone 2

Episode 3’s title is like “Weapons…of SCIENCE! *cue Bill Nye the Science Guy theme song*”

Ooh, nice angle! (on Senku and petrified!Yuzuriha being protected by Taiju…and not just because Yuzuriha’s butt is showing…)

“You can eat lion?” – No duh, Taiju!

“I want to give thanks to the circle of life…” – Sorry, but can I interrupt with a meme here? *cue ululations that ae meant to imitate the iconic song from The Lion King, y’know, the one that goes “Ahhhhhhh zee bun yah… (etc.)”*

Tsukasa’s frickin’ tall, man! Look at him tower over Taiju and Senku…

Having read the manga before, I just realised Tsukasa is mighty suspicious when he says Senku could be able to rebuild civilisation from scratch. That was harder to recognise in manga format though, I think.

I also didn’t realise, but the shell tale is talking about Tsukasa! Hmm…interesting.

Dr Stone’s ED…never in my life did I think it was going to be a rap song. Unless, of course, it’s a science rap…(There’s hydrogen and helium and lithium, berrylium…uh, I don’t remember the words after that…)

Oh, that next-ep font takes me back…it reminds me of the 90s, where terrible WordArt font like that was everywhere and I had to get by on Lucida Calligraphy.

Fruits Basket 14

Oh, crab meat…these CGI cars look absolutely terrible…

Pay attention to the relationship between Kyo and Kyoko…you people who don’t know about manga!Furuba are in for a real revelation on that front.

Wow, the effects on the flowers are really pretty for the ED…

Cop Craft 2

That OP is just so good…*swoon*

Well…they spelt “Unknown” wrong…on Kei’s phone.

Hmm…I think the insert song was in English.

Astra 3

Oh…something didn’t make sense. It turns out the word the subber is using is “attitude” when it should actually be altitude…

Given 2

Ooh, Haruki does coffee in the OP! I didn’t notice that, since I had to skip it…there’s some kinda suckish buffering on CR, which is why I have to skip as much as I can.

Welp, I’m a pianist. I’m as clueless as any other non-guitar player when it comes to guitars, so I don’t mind the lesson but also don’t need it.

Given this is a BL/yaoi (no pun intended), I think Akihiko and Haruki should pair up…but maybe I’m just going nuts with the shipper glasses here.

“You’re going to have to do something about that soon.”

Aye…I relate, Mafuyu. When you’re younger, you can beg your parents for money, but equipment, books etc. really costs some hard cash. I remember having to go to Hong Kong to find a pearl pink metronome on the cheap…the poor thing isn’t getting much use now. (But still, I think the more I watch and see Haruki in action, the more I like him. Not necessarily as a husbando, but more in the sense of that one cool dude you gravitate towards.)

It randomly cut to Salon Harusame…don’t tell me this is how Haruki gets his money???

I think the comment that said “lolol” actually had 超 in front of it, so that would be “super lololol” or, in my personal way of saying it, “major lololol”.

Oh, so that’s what was in the OP!

I swear Uesama (LOL) should just get a job as a guitar tutor to little kids…well, that would work if he were in college/uni, maybe.

Hey, a girl! Didn’t expect one in a BL work…(LOL, my standards are so low for BL/yaoi, eh?)

Hmm…I get the feeling amateurs get their hands on acoustic models instead. I know a guitar player, y’know (although again, that doesn’t mean I know the first thing about playing a guitar).

I love how the show turned green all of a sudden. The colours match the mood, basically.

Demon Slayer 16

This episode’s titlecard only has a wave pattern…I probably know what the pattern is called, but I’ve…probably forgotten that name.

Hey, a Demon Slayer girl! (My standards seem to have been lowered in regards to seeing gals in leading or even supporting roles…It’s more acceptable for Demon Slayer, given its historical setting, but still, how sad it is to not see many girls…)

(TW: abuse) Why…for some reason, this feels like an abusive household, specifically where the father does evil things to the mother…but this time, the son’s part of the problem.

I find it funny Zenitsu just calls Inosuke “Wild Boar”. To be fair though, I don’t think Inosuke introduced himself to Zenitsu, way back when they were meant to.

This scene where Zenitsu is crying and has his back turned to the “camera”…they clearly used a CGI model for him.

It’s a BODY! Holy s(BLEEP)!

“Chu-Chu chuuuuun!” Oh my glob, Ukogi is so adorable~!

Hey…where was Ukogi hiding before he chose to come out again?

Another CGI model when Zenitsu walks away from the camera. It’s so dark, nobody can see Ukogi…I don’t think he has a CGI model and that’s good.

I had a weird thought, but…I think Tanjiro would be a good breakdancer, if he were living in 2019.

Inosuke, you did it! But I wonder if those stats are correct and Inosuke’s going to call his name properly at climactic moments…?

Cop Craft 3

Brother Kenny…you’re just lewd.

“…O or V or A.” – Aside from OVAs, hmm…O would be (CENSORED), V I don’t know about and A…I don’t know either, but I guess it’s (CENSORED).

Kei Manoba (sic).

Doreany seems to be humanity…Did they already introduce that? I forget.

This show looks pretty bad, but the story makes the stay worth it.

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