#now any time someone asks im like here you go ive written about this here and here and here have links

[stevie-petey]

episode eight: the gate

“Drop me and die.” Your knuckles are white as they clutch the rope, your body shaking with exhaustion as you try to ease your way down without further injuring your ribs.  Steve laughs and tightens his grip on your waist, steadying you as you finally inch the rest of the way down and land with a gentle thud onto the ground. “Like I’d ever dream of letting you go.” This time, you know it’s his words that cause you to shiver, not the exhaustion and pain.

Summary: you encourage nancy to take your place (everyone is shocked), you and steve are the newest babysitters in town, billy ruins things as always, tunnels are weird when youre concussed, you remind jonathan of an old promise, and when the snowball comes you make your own promise with steve that you know you can keep.

Rating: general, although very violent

Warnings: use of y/n, fem!reader, intense violence and blood, weapons, monsters, probably more im forgetting

Words: 20.1k (no one speak to me)

Before you swing in: this is it ,,, the final episode of season two <3 this chapter was both the easiest and hardest one ive ever written. there are scenes in here that i put so much into, and im so proud of where everything landed. handling so many relationships and dynamics was so incredibly difficult, but i adore where they ended up. i hope you guys do, too :)

-

“Eleven,”

“Mike.”

The two kids embrace, Mike holding desperately onto El as if he’s afraid she’ll disappear again any second, and she’s holding onto him just as tightly as their tears mix together. 

You watch them with a hand over your heart, your own tears spilling over. You can’t believe this is real, that El is standing in Mike’s arms alive and real.

The way they cling to each other brings more tears to your eyes. It’s obvious to everyone how much they love one another. You think about the endless batches of brownies you baked for Mike, how many nights you spent in his basement standing watch, looking for any sign of grief, in case he needed you there to remind him that it’s okay to cry. 

“Is that…?” Max asks Lucas, and he nods. 

“She’s back.” You exhale, feeling Dustin’s fingers slip between yours. He knows how much you missed El, he’s spent just as many nights keeping watch over you, reminding you to cry as well. 

Mike pulls away, his eyes shining with tears. “I never gave up on you. I called you every night. Every night for–”

“353 days.” El finishes for him, you’ve never heard so much emotion in her voice. “I heard.”

You think about the nights you found Mike huddled underneath the fort he once built for El in his basement, clutching the radio to his chest, passed out from exhaustion. You never mentioned it to the boy, knowing he’d simply deny and tell you it was nothing, but hearing El confirm what you already knew still hurts. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were there?” 

You look around the room now, wondering the same as Mike, and then your eyes land on Hopper. While everyone looks surprised or confused at El’s reappearance, Hopper’s face is one of resignation. 

Everything clicks. 

He knew.

Hopper sees that you’ve pieced it together and steps forward. “Because I wouldn’t let her.”

You step forward as well so that you’re next to Mike, knowing that this will only upset him more. “You knew.”

“What the hell is this?” The chief ignores you, now speaking only to El. “Where’ve you been?”

“Where have you been?” El’s eyes darken, but she immediately melts when Hopper pulls her into a hug. By watching their body language, you can tell that they love each other dearly, and distantly you remember hearing about the daughter Hopper once had. 

Though you’re angry he hid El from you, you’re thankful they found one another in the end. You’ve never seen Hopper so tender with someone, and El seems to feel safe within his embrace, far from the skittish girl you found in the woods last year. 

“You’ve been hiding her!” Lost in your thoughts, you momentarily forget about Mike, who launches himself at Hopper and punches the man’s chest. “You’ve been hiding her this whole time!”

Hopper flinches away. “Hey–”

“Mike,” you grab his shoulders, knowing his anger will only do more harm than good, but he struggles against you as he tries to continue hitting the man. “We can all talk about this–”

“Let’s talk,” Hopper grabs at Mike’s shirt, finally forcing the kid to stop. Then, looking directly at you, he adds. “Alone.”

You look at Mike, silently asking him what he needs from you. You know the two of them need to settle their differences, that he feels Hopper’s betrayal the deepest and you trust him to make his own choices. However, with one headshake from him, you would prevent Mike from being alone with Hopper in a heartbeat. 

Mike knows this, he doesn’t have to even have to ask what you mean when you gently nod your chin at him. Taking a deep breath, the boy sighs and nods at you, indicating that he’ll talk with the cop. 

You let go of Mike and gently push him towards Hopper. “He’s all yours, but try not to kill him, please? I unfortunately like the kid.”

Hopper doesn’t play into your words and promptly grabs the back of Mike’s hoodie and marches him towards Will’s room. The door closes behind them, leaving you to deal with El.

Her nose is bleeding and she looks upset having Mike taken from her, there’s an exhaustion behind her eyes that you’re all too familiar with. You wrap an arm around her waist and pull her into you. “C’mere, sweetheart.”

El leans into the kiss you press upon her cheek and closes her eyes, relishing in the tenderness after the night she’s had. “Missed you.”

“And I missed you.” You place another kiss on her head. “The hairstyle suits you, by the way.”

This seems to lighten the girl up a bit, who giggles and quietly thanks you as she wraps her arms fully around you now, securing you into a hug. You allow her all the time she needs to collect herself. 

When you hear Mike’s heartbroken screams at Hopper, calling him a liar, you squeeze your arms tighter around El. “They’ll be fine,” you promise her, feeling the need to reassure her of this, though hearing Mike’s screams breaks your heart.

You understand why Hopper hid El, it wasn’t safe for anyone to know about her being alive, but Mike spent the entire year grieving for her. He lost a year of his childhood mourning the loss of a close friend, of someone he loves, and it isn’t fair to expect him to accept this. 

El nods at your reassurance before you’re suddenly shoved away from her. 

“You’re hogging the former dead girl, Y/N!” Dustin exclaims as he engulfs El into a hug. 

Lucas flashes you an apologetic smile before hugging the girl as well, focusing his attention on her. “We missed you.”

“I missed you too.” She responds, squeezing both boys tight. 

“We talked about you pretty much every day.” Dustin pulls away before pointing at you. “Y/N usually just cried.”

You elbow your brother, causing him to wince. “You say that like I don’t normally cry over things.”

Dustin opens his mouth to argue, but suddenly El’s fingers are pinching at his lips as she pries his jaw open. Your brother looks at you in alarm, and you’re too stunned to do anything besides watch in bewilderment. 

“Teeth.” El finally says,

You giggle, while Dustin simply stares at her as if she’s insane. “What?”

“You have teeth.”

Dustin breaks into a smile. “Oh, you like these pearls?”

When he makes an obscure purring sound with his mouth, you scoff at your brother and roll your eyes alongside Lucas. “Please, never do that ever again.”

“Eleven?” Max now approaches with a warm smile on her face, the most open you’ve ever seen the girl, and extends her hand for El to shake. “Hey, um. I’m Max. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

El looks at you and tilts her head, which you assume means she’s unsure what to do, so you step in. “Max is a friend, sweetheart.”

She eyes Max’s hand, looks up at her again, before bypassing the girl completely and going straight into Joyce’s arms.

You frown, confused by El’s unusual dismissiveness, and look over at Max. Her head is ducked down, embarrassed, and you make a mental note to remind yourself later to ask El what happened. Max is a good girl, they deserve to be friends and you know they’d get along if given the chance.

Joyce cradles El’s head and greets her with tears, and the girl responds the same. After they’ve hugged, El pulls away, her tears now ones of worry. “Can I see him?”

Joyce’s eyes flash to you, and the two of you seem to realize the same thing: it’s no coincidence that El arrived when she did. You think about what Dustin and the kids deciphered in morse code, Will’s hidden message. 

Close the gate. 

El is the only person you know can do it. 

“Go take her to him,” you tell Joyce. “I’ll catch everyone else up.”

The woman nods, her eyes appreciative, before gently guiding El towards Will’s room. 

“I’m assuming I’m ‘everyone’.” Steve says as soon as Joyce and El have left. 

You laugh, finally rejoining his side. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Alright, catch me up then. Who was the girl and why does she have a bloody nose problem?”

“Her name is Eleven, or El. Besides the Demogorgon, and Demodogs, did we ever discuss El?”

Nancy speaks up from the corner, timid. “I, uh… Didn’t tell Steve a lot. We kinda just, we–we didn’t ever really–”

“I never let Nancy explain, and I was too afraid to ask.” Steve kindly saves Nancy, and something both you and Jonathan take note of. 

“Well,” you clap your hands, dispelling away any remaining tension for both your sake and the kids’ sakes. “El has these powers, she can make things move with her mind, and when she uses them she gets nose bleeds.”

Steve stares at you. “Okay…”

“Mhm. It’s just as insane as it sounds. Remember the whole Upside Down story Dustin and I told you about yesterday? Well, she can travel there and has a connection to it. With her mind. Somehow. I don’t actually know the logistics of it.”

“You’re doing great, bug.” Jonathan’s voice drips with sarcasm, but Dustin hits his chest to shut him up. 

“Thanks, Dustin. Anyways, El has these insane powers and she’s the sweetest, softest person I’ve ever met. We…” your voice trails off now, still getting used to the fact that she’s alive. “We thought we lost her last year, when she killed the Demogorgon and helped bring Will back.”

“But she’s alive.” Steve concludes. 

You nod, a natural smile spreading across your face. “She is.”

“If you say she’s the sweetest person you’ve ever met, then I definitely believe you.”

Steve’s words make you blush, the pure and honest way he says them, and both Dustin and Jonathan cringe. The two boys share a look, both for once on the same page in a long time, and make gagging motions. 

You see this and flick both of their heads. “I know where you both sleep.”

Both boys stick their tongue out at you, and for a moment everything feels normal. Jonathan and Dustin are teasing you, Jonathan’s eyes are lit up, and your brother is carefree again. 

Then Joyce returns to the living room with El and the mood becomes somber again. 

They stand over the kitchen table, El stares down at the piece of paper with the “close gate” on it, and Joyce asks the question you’ve all been wondering. “You opened this gate before, right?”

“Yes,” the girl responds as you and everyone else now join her and Joyce. 

“Do you think if we got you back there, that you could close it?”

El looks between you and Joyce, her gaze stony and resigned. You wonder what else she’s gone through to put such a void within her; like all the other kids, she no longer has a sweet naivety to her.

Then, slowly, El nods. 

– 

“It’s not like it was before. It’s grown. A lot.” Everyone stands in the kitchen, circling around Hopper as he explains exactly what the gate now is. “I mean, that’s considering we can get in there. The place is crawling with those dogs.”

You grab Dustin’s shirt and yank harshly at it. “Don’t you dare–”

“Demodogs.”

Hopper looks at him, sighing. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Please just ignore him.” You plead with the officer, knowing he’s already in a bitchy mood. 

Dustin doesn’t pick up on the anger, though. “I said, uh… Demodogs. Like Demogorgon and dogs.”

“Oh my god,” you groan, rubbing at your temples. You’ve heard this explanation of the word play a million times within the last twenty-four hours. If you have to hear Dustin explain what Demodog means one more time, you think you may murder the kid.

Dustin, unfortunately, continues. “You put them together… it sounds pretty badass–”

“How is this important right now?” Hopper snaps at the boy, which only makes you more annoyed. 

You put your hand up at the old man, closing your fingers together to mimic a mouth being shut. “One more aggressive comment to the thirteen year old and I will show you that Nancy isn’t the only one who can shoot a gun.”

“Uh, Y/N…” Jonathan nervously mumbles, unsure what Hopper’s reaction may be. 

However, the chief simply raises an eyebrow at you, stares you down for a few seconds, before finally seeming to decide that he’s impressed with your bold comment. “I’ll make sure to remember that.”

“I can do it.” El suddenly voices from the other end of the table.

“You’re not hearing me.” Hopper’s shoulders slump. You can tell by his now defeated stance that he has yet to win an argument against El, something that you’re incredibly proud of her for. 

“I’m hearing you. I can do it.”

“Even if El can, there’s still another problem.” Mike speaks up, looking around the table to ensure everyone is listening. “If the brain dies, the body dies.”

Max frowns. “I thought that was the whole point.”

“It is, but if we’re really right about this…”

“Will,” you breathe out quietly with dread, understanding where Mike is going with this.

Mike continues explaining. “I mean, if El closes the gate and kills the mind flayer’s army–”

“Will’s a part of that army.” Lucas finishes as he looks over at you, now knowing why you’ve just exhaled the boy’s name with grief. 

“Closing the gate will kill him.” 

Jonathan tenses at Mike’s words, and you place your hand against the back of his neck in a grounding manner. You can feel his rapid heartbeat against your hand, even from this position, and you play with his hair to try and soothe him. 

He’s terrified of what may happen to his little brother, once again struck with pure terror that he could lose him. You’re not sure how many more times Jonathan can grieve his brother without losing a piece of himself.

Steve, standing on your other side, sees the way your fingers intertwine in Jonathan’s hair. The same way they did earlier with his own hair as you hugged him.

He frowns, looking away. 

Everyone else falls silent as well, Mike’s words hang in the air. Your gaze shifts to Joyce, who has a deep frown on her face, and before you ask her what she’s thinking, she stands up from the table. “Follow me.”

No one says anything as you all follow the woman to Jonathan’s room, where Will lays motionless on top of the bed you’ve slept in for years. His body is stiff, the hospital gown swallows him, and the sight disturbs you. 

You walk over to the boy and kneel next to the bed. It’s in your nature to take care of Will, you do this without even thinking about it. Stroking his forehead, you place a kiss against it as you watch his mom in the doorway.

“He likes it cold.” Joyce mumbles, eying the open window in the room. 

“What?” Asks Hopper, standing behind the woman. 

Joyce looks over at her son now. “It’s what Will kept saying to me. He likes it cold.” Then, as her voice grows stronger, she walks over to the window and slams it shut. “We keep giving it what it wants.”

Nancy and Jonathan walk over to you now, the girl remains standing while Jonathan kneels down next to you. The two of you take turns caressing Will’s forehead as Nancy starts to speak. “If this thing is a virus, and Will’s the host, then…”

“Then we need to make the host uninhabitable.” 

You turn to Jonathan, not at all liking what he’s saying. “What does that even mean? He’s a kid, how do you make a child’s body uninhabitable?”

“He likes it cold.” Nancy says, as if that explains everything. 

“But–”

Joyce clenches her jaw and spits out, “We need to burn it out of him.”

Everything about what Joyce has said makes your stomach twist. You look down at Will’s body, at how small he still is despite a year of trying to get him to recover, and his pale skin is almost translucent in the bedroom’s lighting. 

You hate everything about what’s happening, but you hate the way Will looks lifeless even more. 

If making his body uninhabitable can save him, then you have to try; you’ll simply be there to pick up the pieces when it’s done, as you always are. 

The kids begin planning now.

“We have to do it somewhere he doesn’t know this time.” Mike says. 

“Yeah, somewhere far away.” Dustin adds on. 

“Last I checked, none of us have a hidden hut in the woods.” You say, at a loss for where else to possibly take Will. Then, Hopper clears his throat and shifts his weight. “Oh, no fucking way. You would have a hidden hut in the woods.”

“It’s a cabin.” Hopper corrects with annoyance, though there’s a slight glint in his eye as he looks at you. “Joyce and Jonathan will take Will there.”

“Well, go show them the cabin, then.”

Jonathan grabs your hand. “You’re not coming with?”

As if there’s a string tugging at the back of your head, you turn around and catch Steve’s eye. He’s standing in the doorway, eyes alert yet sad, and you know with everything within you that you can’t leave him behind. 

Not when he was shaking in your arms only twenty minutes prior. 

Steve doesn’t want to be alone, especially not when you’d be leaving him behind with Nancy after it’s become clear that she’s with Jonathan now. 

Now, as Jonathan’s open and expecting eyes stare into yours, you do something you’ve never done before. Something you’ve needed to do ever since you were twelve and grabbed the boy’s hand on the Wheeler’s porch that fateful night.

You let go of Jonathan. 

“I can’t,” you tell him, the words of denial feeling foreign on your tongue. You’ve never told him no before, never left him behind, but saying the words isn’t as difficult as you once feared. “I’ll stay with the kids, I’m better with them anyways.”

Jonathan watches you, his eyes trace over your face again and again as if drinking it in for the very last time. When he seems to find what he’s looking for, he takes a deep breath and nods. “Yeah, okay.”

His understanding of everything you don’t say almost makes you take it all back, but you don’t. Instead, you squeeze his hand and nod towards Nancy. “Why don’t you take Nance?”

Something shifts when you say this, you know Jonathan feels it as well. There’s an ease within the shift, almost akin to a soft exhale in December’s cold. It parts you with a gentle farewell, strokes your cheek as it departs, and you can faintly see its outline as it floats away. 

A thread, one that has tugged within your chest in a painful ache since last year, finally loosens. 

Nancy looks at you, her eyes wide. “Me?”

“Mhm,” you nod at the girl, a kind smile on your face. 

It’s a monumental shift, you’re willingly encouraging Nancy to be next to Jonathan’s side rather than you. It’s an exchange of powers, trusting her to take care of the boy you love so dearly. 

For once, it doesn’t feel like you’re tearing off a piece of yourself. Instead, you’re simply sharing the weight of it, of this trust, rather than losing it.

“I… I think I’ll stay here.” Nancy finally says, looking away in shame.

You don’t blame her, you know she carries a weight of guilt within her for things she couldn’t control. There’s a lot you want to say to her, a lot you have to say to her, but for now you simply nod at her, understanding. “Then I’m happy you’re here.”

And you mean it.

Steve, still quietly standing in the doorway, sees everything. He felt the shift, too.

– 

“You should go with him.” Steve picks up a spare heater, he and Nancy have been sent outside to retrieve whatever they could find from the Byers’ yard. 

The shift weighs heavily upon him. Your words ring in his ears. 

Nancy spares Steve a glance. “What?”

“With Jonathan.” He bends down to dig through some old Christmas lights, and seeing them reminds him of you. Everything reminds him of you. “Y/N’s right. You should go with him.”

“No, I–” Nancy scoffs, uncomfortable. “I’m not just gonna leave Mike.”

Steve thinks about you, about how you’re always the one who stays. “No one’s leaving anyone.” He walks over to Nancy and helps her with a radiator she’s struggling with. “I may be a shitty boyfriend, but… I realized I’m actually a pretty damn good friend and babysitter.”

Though he never says your name, Nancy can feel it hang over the two of them. The unspoken confession that it’s because of you that Steve now accepts what has happened between them. It strikes her then, how different he is now. How differently you and the girl came to know Steve.

Nancy stares at him, her eyes are filled with more remorse than he’s ever seen from the girl. It hurts, seeing her so upset, and he wishes that things could’ve been different. He recognizes now that they didn’t stand a chance, though he’s happy they tried anyways. It was always going to end like this between them.

Steve doesn’t hold any anger towards her, he doesn’t hate her, because he still loves her. 

How could you possibly fault the person you love for finding their own love?

“Steve…” His name comes through as an apology.

“It’s okay, Nance.” Steve means it, he gives her the same blessing that you did. She’s allowed to be happy, you both want her to be happy, and you have each other to lean on now. “Y/N and I will be okay.”

He leaves Nancy standing there.

– 

You’re waiting to say goodbye to El, standing patiently behind Mike as the two of them make promises about coming back. It’s sweet, watching them, until they slowly start to lean in for what you fear is a kiss, so you intervene. 

“Hate to ruin the moment, but I’d like to say goodbye to El, too.”

Mike glares at you. “Couldn’t wait five seconds?”

“A five second kiss is shameful, Wheeler.”

El giggles softly and pulls you into a hug. “I will be careful.”

You kiss her cheek. “Come back this time, okay?”

“I will.” 

Hopper calls the girl over to get in the car so they can leave, and you quickly run over to Jonathan’s car before he can get in. 

When he sees you approaching, he extends his arms out and pulls you in as he always does. No words are needed, he simply holds you so that you’re chest to chest and he can feel every breath you take. “I’ll come home to you.”

You bury your face in his neck, inhale the scent you’ve come to associate with your childhood and warm, sunny days. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” 

The words ease between the two of you, finally warm after months of being cold. 

Nancy then appears, and when you notice her you break away from Jonathan. “I see you’re joining?”

“I am.” She nods. “Seems I have you to thank.”

You smile and grab her hand. Your grip is firm, but sincere. “Don’t make me regret it, okay?”

Your words are teasing, but Nancy senses the undertones of a warning. Jonathan is your best friend, she has always known this, and she knows how much weight has gone into your trust for her. Nancy understands that you’re giving her something precious to you, and she will forever be indebted for it. 

“I won’t.” She promises. “And good luck with Steve and the kids.”

“Oh, I’ll need it.” You laugh, and any remaining tension that has hung over you and Nancy finally disappears. 

Once Jonathan and Nancy get into the car, you stand on the porch with Steve and everyone else as you watch the cars drive away. 

– 

 You poke around the Byers’ kitchen for some food; your stomach has been rumbling for hours and you’re sure the kids are hungry, too. However, like usual, you come up with nothing. As you dig through a cabinet, Dustin walks into the kitchen and starts clearing out the fridge. 

“What are you doing?” You ask, knowing that this can’t be for anything good. 

Dustin doesn’t answer, continuing to carelessly throw racks of food onto the floor.

“Hey, stop!” As you walk over, Steve suddenly comes rushing in, holding a very dead, and very disgusting, Demodog. 

“Is this really necessary?”

“Absolutely not.” 

Dustin groans at you. “C’mon, Y/N! This is absolutely necessary, it’s a groundbreaking scientific discovery.”

“It is a dead creature, from an alternate universe–” 

“We can’t just bury it like some common mammal, okay? It’s not a dog–”

“Oh, so now it’s not a dog after you’ve stated a million times that it’s a Demodog–”

Steve steps in between you and Dustin. “Alright, alright, enough!” He begins to shove the Demodog into the fridge before you can stop him. “But Dustin, you’re explaining this to Mrs. Byers, alright?”

“You both are idiots,” you mumble, watching as Steve and Dustin pathetically try to make the giant Demodog fit into the fridge. “I’m leaving.”

You’re seriously starting to regret their friendship. 

However, you know when to pick your battles, and as you watch the two boys try to maneuver the body into the fridge, you know that this is not a cause worth fighting for. 

Instead, you exit the kitchen and instruct the rest of the kids to start cleaning the house. It’s a mess, glass shattered everywhere from the dead Demodog and papers thrown haphazardly around during the morse decoding. 

The mess will only add more unneeded stress to Joyce’s life, so as Lucas and Max groan at you for making them do work, you stand your ground and shove a broom into their hands. 

“You suck, you know.” Lucas grumbles, but Max hits his shoulder and holds the dust pan as he sweeps.

As they get to work on the shattered glass, you figure it’s best that you call your mom before you forget again. You know she’s probably worried sick about you and Dustin for disappearing so suddenly without a word. 

However, when you walk over to the wall where the phone normally is, it’s gone. 

“Hey, uh. Where did the phone go?” You ask Dustin, who has finally left the kitchen. “I need to call mom.”

“Oh, Nancy threw it when it rang. She went kinda berserk.”

You look towards where Dustin is pointing and see the phone, in fact disconnected, on the ground across the room. The sight makes you snort. “Guess she really likes throwing phones, huh?”

Your brother doesn’t understand the joke. “What?”

“Nevermind,” you shake your head. There’s no use explaining to the boy about a quick, five second moment from last year. Nancy had done the exact same thing when Steve had tried to call the cops when the Demogorgon originally attacked you. 

Dustin mumbles something about your blood loss making you delusional, but you ignore him and begin sweeping the hallway. You order him to help, and soon the two of you are cleaning the Byers’ home. 

You’ve just finished sweeping when you notice Mike pacing around the room. He’s anxious, that much is obvious, and whenever he begins to pace: trouble soon follows. He’s brewing up a plan, you can feel it. 

After the fifth time the boy has paced the room, Lucas has finally had enough. “Mike, would you just stop already?”

“You weren’t in there, okay Lucas?” Mike stops pacing. “That lab is swarming with hundreds of those dogs.”

“Demodogs–oomph!” Dustin corrects, only to be cut off by your hand clamping over his mouth. 

“Say it again, I dare you.” You warn him before turning towards Mike. “Look, I know it’s nerve wracking, but all we can do right now is trust El’s abilities and wait.”

Lucas nods. “Yeah, the chief will also take care of her.”

“Like she needs protection.” Max quips from the floor, dustpan still in hand.

You feel a hand place itself on the small of your back. The weight of the palm is starting to become familiar to you, the length of the fingers and the way they splay across the span of your back are slowly becoming recognizable. 

Without turning, you know that Steve has joined you. 

“Listen, dude,” he says in a placating voice to Mike. “A coach calls a play in a game, bottom line, you execute it. Alright?”

You wince. While you’re impressed that Steve is trying to intervene and reason with Mike, you know immediately that his approach will fail. Trying to reason with the kid using a sport analogy is like trying to explain magic to a mathematician. 

“Okay, first of all, this isn’t some stupid sports game.” Mike rolls his eyes, which you expected. “And second, we’re not even in the game. We’re on the bench.”

“RIght! So–so my point… My point is…” Steve stumbles over his words and Mike’s unwavering insistence. When he can’t think of a better response, he lets out a defeated sigh. “Yeah, we’re on the bench, so–uh, there’s nothing we can do.”

You pity Steve, honestly. It takes years of careful analyzing and strategic planning in order to prepare yourself for an argument against Mike Wheeler. 

Patting his shoulder, step in to help. “What I’m sure Steve means is that while we may be benched, that doesn’t mean we can’t keep the homefront secure.”

“That’s not how sports work, Y/N.” Steve whispers obscenely loud, but quickly shuts up when you glare at him.

“Stupid sports analogy aside, there’s nothing we can do besides keep watch here and wait for everyone to return.” Even though you know you’re saying the right thing, that it’s best you follow Hopper’s order of staying put, even you don’t believe the words you’re saying. “We may not be able to help right now, but later, I promise we will be the best damn homefront ever.”

Dustin clears his throat. “That’s not entirely true.”

You turn to him and a sigh escapes you when you see the plan already forming behind his eyes. “I can’t argue with you, can I?”

“Nope.”

“Great, go on then. Share with the class what you’re thinking.”

“I mean, these Demodogs, they have a hive mind.” Dustin begins. “When they ran away from the bus, they were called away.”

Lucas thinks about this. “So if we get their attention…”  

“Maybe we can draw them away from the lab.” Max concludes, and you take a second to marvel at how seamlessly she’s integrated herself into the party.

However, you then remember what Lucas said. “Wait, what do you mean by ‘get their attention’? Why do those words scare me so much?”

Mike talks over you. “We can clear a path to the gate.”

You have a multitude of questions and Steve seems to be thinking exactly what you are when he loudly exclaims, “Yeah, and then we all die!”

“That’s one point of view.”

“Dustin, that’s quite literally the only way to look at it.” You flick his hat and he swats your hand away.

Steve points at you, nodding in agreement. “That’s a fact.”

“Thanks, Steve–” Mike’s body slams into yours as he runs past you. “Christ, Wheeler!”

“I got it!” The boy shrieks, running out of the room as he wordlessly instructs everyone to follow. He kneels in front of the fridge and points wildly at one of the pictures Will has drawn. “This is where the chief dug his hole, this is our way into the tunnel.”

“Into? What do you mean into?”

Mike shoves past you again and runs into the living room. “Here, right here.” He stands in the middle, where all the pictures have interlocked together to form a center. “This is like a hub. So, you got all the tunnels feeding in here. Maybe if we set this on fire…”

“Fire?” You shriek as Steve quickly follows with, “Oh, yeah that’s a no!”

Dustin, however, is on board with what Mike is planning. “The mind flayer would call away his army.”

“They’d all come to stop us!” Lucas waves his arms madly at you, as if saying this will get you to agree to the plan that’s forming.

You throw your hands up in surrender. “Look, I recognize that we could maybe do something–”

“Hey!” Steve looks astonished that you’re even considering this. 

“I mean, if we can help then I don’t see why we can’t just–”

Mike shakes your arm now, deciding that your hesitation is an agreement. “We then can circle back to the exit! By the time they realize we’re gone–”

“El would be at the gate!” Max now also is looking at you. “C’mon, Y/N. You have to admit that it’s a solid plan.”

You bite your lip. It is. That’s the problem with the Wheelers. They come up with these insanely dangerous and insane plans, yet they’re also always brilliant. You know it’s risky, Hopper could barely even explain the tunnels to you without shaking in fear, but… Who’s to say that the Demodogs won’t simply go after Will and Jonathan at the cabin? Or kill Hopper and El before they even reach the lab.

It’s obvious you can’t just sit here and wait. 

El has to close the gate, that much is certain, and because of this: you have to help her. You have to help everyone, keep them safe. 

“It’s a solid plan,” you finally breathe out, and all the kids start to cheer.

“I knew you were my favorite sister!”

“Dustin, I’m your only sister–”

“Hey! Hey–” Steve pushes himself in between you and the kids, clapping his hands to break up any further conversations. “Hey! This is not happening.”

Mike tries to argue, “But–”

“No, no, no!” Steve places his hands on his hips like a disgruntled father. “No buts. I promised I’d keep you shitheads safe, and that’s exactly what I plan on doing.”

You don’t like the way Steve is speaking to the kids, commanding them as if he’s their parent. “Hey, no. We aren’t doing that.”

“Doing what?” He looks at you, eyes wide as he quickly gathers that he’s upset you. The fight in his voice is gone, replaced with quiet guilt.

“We don’t ever command the kids, not like that, anyways.” You step away from them and pull Steve aside with you to give the two of you some privacy. “Look, I know you promised Nance you’d take care of them, but I also promised Jonathan. We have to help, Steve.”

His face twists with confliction, and the two of you are caught between what Nancy wants and what Jonathan wants. They both want the kids to be safe, but they have different viewpoints of how they expect you and Steve to do so.

Nancy wants to keep her brother out of it, Jonathan wants to save his brother’s life. 

“Y/N…” Steve breathes out, begging you to change your mind. 

The confliction on his face hurts to look at, you hate that you’ve made him feel this way, but you can only shake your head at him. “I’m sorry, but we’re doing this.”

“Yes!” Mike rushes over to you and surprises you with a hug. “This is why I keep you around!”

“Okay, no.” You push the kid away and hold him by the shoulders to ensure he listens to you. “That doesn’t mean I think we should all go down into the tunnels. I’ll go, and Steve will stay here with you guys–”

“What? No! You’re not going down there by yourself, Y/N.” Steve doesn���t understand how you would expect him to ever let you do that. “We’re all on the bench, okay? We’re waiting for the starting team to do their job.”

“This isn’t a stupid sports game.” Mike groans in annoyance before focusing his attention back to you. “And no one in the party gets left behind. If you go, we all go.”

The sincerity in Mike’s voice warms you. He’s defending you, protecting you how you’ve always protected him, and you’ve never been more impressed with his bravery; it’s because of this, his bravery and admiration for you, that you know you have to go into the tunnels alone. 

It would kill you if Mike got hurt, if any of the kids got hurt. 

Steve sees the way your eyes shine at Mike’s words and his stomach twists. He knows he can’t change your mind about going alone, he knows you’d never, ever let anyone get hurt. That you’d lay down your life for these kids and those you love. 

The bloodied cloth wrapped around your rib cage reminds Steve that he’s a part of it all now. You have laid down your life for him.

And he’s never, ever going to let you get hurt because of him again. 

Steve steps forward and gently grabs your arm, he needs you to understand how much your selflessness terrifies him in this moment. “Y/N–”

The revving of an engine cuts him off. 

It’s a familiar sound. You’ve heard this car before. The sound of it has seared itself into your memories. The hair on your arms stands up, and within seconds Max is at the window, looking out in fear. 

“It’s my brother.” Max’s voice is terrified. Not even in the junkyard, when Demodogs had been raining down on you and the kids, had you heard such terror in the girl’s voice. “He can’t know I’m here.”

You’re at her side in a heartbeat, tugging her away from the window. You’ve seen the way Billy acts around Max, you remember the harshness he displayed in the parking lot. The same harshness that left bruises on your waist when he had you pinned against the wall on Halloween. “I won’t let him touch you.”

Your words have a bite to them. Max hears the oath within them, she has never believed anyone when they’ve told her this. “He’ll kill me. He’ll kill us.”

“He won’t.” You promise her, trying to control the pure rage you feel because of her brother. He can do whatever the fuck he wants with you, but he’s hurt Max for the last time. 

Steve watches your exchange with Max and feels his hands clench into fists. Anger fizzes through his body. As you console the girl, your eyes meet his and he nods. With one simple head movement, the two of you have silently agreed to do whatever it takes to ensure that Billy never hurts Max ever again. 

–

“Am I dreaming or is that you, Harrington?”

You’re standing behind Steve. 

Billy hasn’t seen you yet. 

“Yeah, it’s me. Don’t cream your pants.” Steve’s hand tightens around your arm as he guides you further behind him. He doesn’t like that you’re here with him. He hates the way Billy’s eyes roam over your body without any shame. 

But you insisted on coming outside, and Steve has never been able to tell you no. 

You step out from behind Steve and force your hands to rest by your side in nonchalance. “God, I was hoping you’d be allergic to milk.”

Billy raises his eyebrows when he sees you; you’ve surprised him. “Why, it’s always a pleasure seeing you, sweetheart.”

Steve’s clenched fists only tighten when he hears Billy’s nickname for you. He hates the implications behind it, the way he says it with such sickly sweetness that leaves Steve’s stomach feeling raw. 

He can’t imagine how you feel whenever you hear it, and it only makes Steve hate Billy more. 

“It’s never a pleasure for me.” You cross your arms as Billy now stands in front of you and Steve.

The teen laughs darkly and eyes Steve up and down. “What are you doing here, amigo?”

“I could ask you the same thing… Amigo.” His voice carries an air of indifference, but you know that tomorrow there will be indentations in Steve’s palms from his fingernails. 

“Looking for my stepsister.” Billy lights a cigarette and smirks at you. “A little birdie told me she was here.”

“Huh, that’s weird. I don’t know her.”

Billy smirks at Steve’s words and motions over to you. “Yeah, but this little lady does.”

“Max isn’t here.” You say, forcing your anger down to play along with Steve’s indifference. “Have you checked the quarry? A lot of kids like to hang out there.”

Smoke surrounds you as Billy responds, “Don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Henderson.”

With every dodged question, you’re only angering the teen more. If you and Steve keep this up, you’ll only make everything harder to manage. You try to think of something to distract Billy, but all you know about him is that he’s a sleazy pig with a cigarette addiction. 

Then, it hits you. 

His weird fascination with you. 

If you use it against him, maybe you can get him away from the Byers’ house long enough for Steve and the kids to leave. 

You step closer to Billy, ignoring every part of you that screams in rejection. You’re covered in blood and your hair is probably a mess, but you bat your eyelashes anyways and quirk your head up at Billy with an innocent smile. “I could show you, if you want.”

Just as you hoped, your sudden interest in him catches Billy’s attention. He presses his chest against yours and looks down at you, a pleased smile on his face. “And what would you be showing me, sweetheart?”

“The quarry, silly.” You giggle, trying not to gag at the reek of cigarette smoke. “It’s secluded… No one really goes down there. It’s, well–this is embarrassing.”

You duck your head down and act as if you’re blushing. Billy takes the bait and uses his fingers to lift your head up to look at him again. “Go on, tell me.”

You make a show of biting your lip. “Well, it’s where every teen in Hawkins goes to… Be alone.”

Billy’s eyes darken again, even more interested in what you have to say. He leans down, his lips inches from yours, and you know you have him right where you want him. 

Please, you think. I just want to protect the kids.

His breath fans across your face and he’s about to agree, to have you lead him away and forget all about his bitch of a sister, when Steve roughly pushes him away from you. 

“Max isn’t here, man.” He spits out, his once controlled anger now spilling over the edge. 

You want to scream at him, you almost had Billy. He was seconds away from agreeing, and the stupid idiot pushes him away from you? 

Billy looks between you and Steve and lets out a low chuckle. “Sorry, Harrington. Forgot that she’s yours.”

Steve moves as if to hit him but you quickly grab at his jacket, stopping him. Billy sees this and laughs again. 

“You know, I don’t know… This whole situation, Harrington.” He shrugs, exhales more smoke. “I don’t know. It’s giving me the heebie-jeebies.”

“Oh yeah, why’s that?” 

You’re silent, hand still clutching Steve’s jacket. 

Billy exhales more smoke. “My thirteen year old sister goes missing all day, and then I find her with you in a stranger’s house, alongside Y/N Henderson, the town’s darling, all bloodied and bruised. And you lie to me about it.”

From an outsider’s perspective, you hate how much Billy makes sense. 

To anyone else, this would look incredibly incriminating against Steve.

Yet, Steve still tries to deny it all. “Man, were you dropped too much as a child, or what?”

“I’m assuming he was.” You voice, looking nervously at Billy as he seems to grow more and more volatile. 

“I don’t know what you don’t understand about what Y/N and I have told you. Max isn’t here.”

Billy leans in close to Steve and points with his cigarette towards the house. “Then who is that?”

You and Steve turn, and your heart drops when you see Max and the boys all quickly duck their heads out of the window.

“Shit,” you breathe out, knowing it’s over.

You really hate those kids sometimes.

“Listen,” Steve tries to make up some excuse, but Billy roughly shoves him to the ground.

“I told you to plant your feet.” Bully sneers as he looms over him. You try to help Steve up, but you’re pushed aside as Billy then stomps on Steve’s ankle with a sickening crunch that makes your own wounded ankle sting.

As he storms towards the house, you quickly help Steve up, He pushes you away. “I’ll be fine, go help the kids!”

“But–”

You can’t just leave Steve while he’s hurt, but every time you try to help him up, he bats your hand away.

“Go!”

From inside the house, you hear the kids start to scream, and you reluctantly leave Steve behind and run inside. When you enter, Billy already has Lucas pinned against the wall as all the kids scream at him to let the boy go. Lucas is hitting at the teen’s chest desperately, but nothing is working. 

“Stay away from her.” Billy spits in the boy’s face, who is paralyzed with fear.

“Lucas!” You all but throw yourself onto Billy’s back as you begin hitting and pulling his hair. Anything you can think of, you try, but it’s no use. With Billy’s size and build, you’re nothing but a fucking bug to him. 

“I said get off of me!” Lucas kneels Billy in the groin, sending you and the teen flying back, but at least he’s let go of Lucas. 

You let go of Billy and place yourself between him and the boy, your breath comes out ragged. You don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing. All your mind can think of right now is protecting the kids, but in the midst of screaming and exhaustion and blood loss, you can’t think of anything. 

Billy tries to get to Lucas again, his teeth bared with fury. “You’re so dead, Sinclair. So dead!” 

In your exhaustion and fear, you call out for the only person you can think of. “Steve!”

He’s at your side in a heartbeat, quickly looking at you to make sure you’re okay, before he flings Billy away from you and Lucas. “No, you are!”

Steve’s punch lands perfectly, with a precision far from his pathetic punches thrown last year against Jonathan. It’s incredibly hot.

Billy begins to laugh in a manic manner that frightens you, but all of his attention is now on Steve, so you use this opportunity to drag Lucas over to the rest of the kids and make sure everyone is okay. 

You trust that Steve has everything else handled, but you make sure to keep an eye on him anyways while you take care of the kids. 

“Are you okay?” You check Lucas over for any injuries, who numbly nods as he’s still in shock, while Billy screams something about always wanting to meet King Steve. 

“Get out.” Despite Steve’s leveled voice, his tone is vicious. 

Billy swings again, but Steve manages to duck just in time before he lands yet another punch to the boy’s face. 

“Yes!” Dustin shouts with glee, but you remember the fight from last year. How Steve had lost miserably against Jonathan. A boy half of Billy’s size. 

While you’re impressed with Steve’s fighting improvement, you’re not sure how longer he’ll be able to keep this up. When more punches land on Billy and all he does is laugh menacingly, you know you don’t have a lot of time left.

You’re fucking terrified. 

The kids are still cheering Steve on when you turn to them, panicked. “You guys need to leave. Now.”

“What? But Steve’s winning!” Dustin says as Steve’s fist connects with Billy’s jaw. 

The sound makes you feel sick. 

You’re pleading now, terror clawing at your throat as you do so; your words slur together. “Leave, sneak out, and–and go through the front door and hide. Get help, okay? Just, go and find someone while Steve and I handle this–”

The sound of glass breaking against Steve’s head alerts you that your time is up. 

Billy hadn't been fighting back before. But now? He’s angrier than you’ve ever seen him. 

As Steve stumbles back in pain, you try pleading with the kids again. You don’t want them to see any more of this, of what might be about to happen. This isn’t just some fight between two teen boys. You know Billy better than that. 

He’s out for fucking blood. 

“Dustin, take everyone outside now!”

“We can’t just leave you!” Mike shouts and the others all nod. 

You want to cry. “We don’t have time for this, just–”

“Shit!” Dustin knocks against you as he dodges a punch meant for Steve. 

Steve crashes into the Byers’ bookshelf and you’re practically shoving the kids out of the door so that you can go and help, but they refuse to leave you and Steve behind. 

Billy has Steve by his jacket. “No one tells me what to do.”

With a sickening thud, he bashes his head into Steve’s and sends him flying to the ground. 

“Steve!” There’s blood pooling from his head and you’re gripped by fear so intense that you’re afraid you’ll pass out any second. 

Billy is relentless, now standing over Steve as he lands punch after punch. Every time his fists slam against Steve’s face, you feel them land against yours as well. Billy’s screaming like a fucking maniac and none of the kids are listening to you and Steve is getting bloodier by the second.

You’re torn. 

Dustin and the kids are staring at you, eyes wide with fear, and the front door is open; you could take the kids and run, but Steve is lying motionless on the ground.

It’s either him or the kids.

And yet it’s the easiest decision you’ve made all night.

“Get off of him!” You throw yourself onto Billy’s back for the second time tonight. 

You yank at his hair and try to scratch his face, but within seconds Billy throws you over his shoulder. “You demented bitch.”

Your head catches on the edge of a coffee table and you land with a thud on the ground. Almost immediately you feel blood drip from your eyebrow and you groan. Fuck. Definitely another concussion, but when you look over at Steve, he looks worse than you feel, and you force yourself to get up. 

Billy watches as you pathetically try to stand, and he laughs with cruelty. “What, want some more, sweetheart?”

More blood drips down your face and you feel the scratches on your rib cage re-open. Every bone in your body aches, but you pull out your switchblade and extend its knives. Your fingers skim over the engraving on its handle, reminding you to use the weapon with love. 

“This is your last chance.” You clutch at your side, hoping you look more intimidating than you feel. “Leave my family alone.”

Billy sees your knives and laughs at you. “Am I expected to believe that you’d actually hurt me?”

Your grip tightens around your switchblade. No one ever believes that you could be so cruel, so vicious. Billy is looking at you as if you’re some pathetic little girl, as if you haven’t killed Demodogs and Demogorgons. He’s looking at you as if you aren’t the sole reason everyone you know and love is alive.

You were once told to use the switchblade with love, that there was never any room for love when it came to violence. 

Now, as the kids are screaming at you to run and the pool of blood around Steve continues to grow, the onslaught of love that is always within you overtakes the fear. 

“I warned you.” With one quick movement, you swat at Billy and cut deeply into his shoulder.

He lets out an enraged scream and instinctively his fist goes flying. Pain erupts in your left eye and you know that you’ll have the worst time ever trying to explain to your mom later how you got a black eye. 

“Fuck!” You groan, dodging every other punch that Billy throws your way as he starts to approach you. With one eye quickly swelling up and the other blinded by blood, you do your best to stumble away from Billy, but it’s no use. 

Your foot catches on the carpet and almost as quickly as you fall, Billy is right there to wrap his hands around your throat and squeeze. You inhale sharply and panic overtakes you as you claw at his hands, drawing blood from him as well, but his fingers only tighten. 

“Y/N!” Dustin’s vocal chords strain from how loud he screams your name.

Billy seems to get a kick out of hearing your brother plead for your life, and he squeezes even tighter as you flail. “Not so tough now, are you?”

You struggle to free yourself, to do anything, but you can’t. 

For the first time since Will went missing, you truly believe that you’re about to die.

Steve is practically dead on the ground below you, he’s bleeding so much from his head that you’re terrified he’ll never wake up, and the kids are defenseless as they scream with tears in their eyes. 

Your baby brother is about to watch you die. 

Spots begin to form in your vision and it’s getting harder and harder to move your limbs. To make them do as you command. 

You know it’s your brain shutting down from the lack of oxygen. 

I hope Jonathan doesn’t blame himself.

Your world fades to black. 

Billy screams.

And you feel your body drop to the ground.

– 

The first time you wake up, it’s to Dustin huffing as he tugs at your arm. “God, you’re heavier than you look.”

You promptly pass back out. 

The second time, it’s dark outside and you register that you’re cold, but your eyes sting and you’re out again.

You wake up a few more times, always in a daze, and never more for a few seconds at a time, before the feeling that you’re moving wakes you up for good. 

It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the dark, your left eye barely even opens, and the pounding in your head is blinding in itself. Blinking a few times, you look down and finally notice that Steve is sprawled on your lap. You’re in the backseat of someone’s car. 

Your head is resting against someone’s shoulder. When you try to lift it to see who it is, you feel someone gently guide your head back down. “Shh, it’s okay. Don’t move too fast, alright? Don’t want you yacking on us.”

“Dustin?” You immediately regret trying to speak. Your voice comes out hoarse and raw and the pain is so intense that it only makes your head pound more.

“Right here, sis. Try not to speak, you sound like a frog.”

You try to sit up again, forgetting that Steve is sprawled on top of you, and your movements cause him to wake up. When his eyes manage to blink open, he tilts his head at you and mumbles, “Nancy?”

“Wha–” Again your voice cracks and you feel so delirious. Are you Nancy?

Steve attempts to wipe away the blood on his face but Dustin stops him with a gentle chiding. “No, don’t touch it.”

Steve brings a shaky hand up to your face and carefully rests it against your cheek. “You’re… You’re bleeding.”

Dustin puts the hand down. “Hey, buddy. Y/N is bleeding, good job. You’re bleeding, too. It’s okay though, you put up a good fight. I mean, he kicked your ass but you put up a good fight.”

Your brother’s words ring in your ears. He’s saying so much and you’re trying to swallow down the vomit that threatens to spill out. 

“Okay, you’re gonna keep straight for half a mile, then make a left on Mount Sinai.” A voice rings out, one different from Dustin’s. 

Was that Lucas?

“What’s going on?” Steve slurs, trying to process everything happening. He blearily looks back up at you. “Who’s driving?”

“Not me,” you manage to croak out.

A beat of silence passes. 

Then, at the same time, you and Steve realize: Max is the one driving. 

You’re more awake now and you try to say more, but your throat has swollen shut from speaking and it feels like it’s on fire. 

Thankfully, Steve is here to say everything you can’t. “Oh my god!”

“Just relax, she’s driven before.” Dustin reassures, slapping your hand away when you try to reach over to the driver’s side. 

“Yeah, in a parking lot.” Mike says, and you notice he’s also here now. 

“That counts.”

You want to scream at Max to pull over and demand the keys from her, but your bruised throat prevents you while your bleeding rib cage traps you in. While you can’t say anything, all Steve can say is, “Oh my god.”

“They were gonna leave you guys behind–”

“Oh my god.”

“But I promised that you’d be cool, okay?” Again Dustin slaps your hand away and all but shoves his leg over you so that you remain seated. 

Max then presses down on the gas pedal and the car increases its speed, which only makes the entire situation worse. 

Steve, rightfully, freaks out. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! What’s going on? Stop the car, slow down!”

You twist in your seat and blindly grab at Steve’s hand, both thanking him for voicing all that you can’t and also to try and prevent the poor boy from passing out again. 

“I told you he’d freak out! At least Y/N shut up!” Mike shouts over at Dustin. 

While you’re flattered that you’re officially cooler than Steve in Mike’s eyes, if you had a functioning throat right now, you’d be letting out some very choice words. 

“Stop the car!” Steve screams again, but the little rainbow bandaids on his cheek take away from his commanding nature. 

You hope that Dustin at least chose some pretty bandaids for your face. 

“Everybody shut up! I’m trying to focus!” Again, Max doesn’t at all help the situation at hand. 

“Wait, that’s Mount Sinai. Make a left!” Lucas points to where Max needs to go and you wonder why they trusted the girl, who just moved to Hawkins a week ago, to know where to go. 

“What?”

“Make a left!” Lucas screams, and Max quickly yanks the car to the left.

You, Steve, and the kids all scream as she hits what you hope is a mailbox. As the car jerks, you topple onto Steve and let out a painful, weird mix of a croak and shriek as the car continues to turn. Dustin tries to steady himself against you as he screams and Steve fully grabs your waist and uses you to shield himself from danger.

What a hero. 

Then, you almost go flying out of the windshield as Max suddenly stops the car. 

“Hello!” Steve exclaims, gripping you tightly still. 

Dustin giggles. “Whoa!”

“Incredible,” Mike breathes out. 

Meanwhile, you think your heart fell out of your ass about five blocks ago. 

“I told you. Zoomer.” Max smirks with pride. 

“She terrifies me,” you whisper, and Steve nods in agreement. 

The kids begin getting out of the car and seem to have some unspoken plan being set into motion. Dustin pats your shoulder before leaving you behind with Steve as the others go towards the trunk. 

Not knowing what the fuck is happening, you kick Steve so that he falls off of you and onto the grass so that you can follow after your brother. When you get out the car, you march over towards where all the kids are standing and silently demand an explanation. 

Mike notices you first. “What? Cat got your tongue?”

You refrain from shoving his face in the mud and point towards the goggles he’s holding. He sighs and hands it to you while Dustin ties a bandana around your neck and Max grabs a gallon of gasoline. 

Seems like they’re sticking to the plan from earlier, then.

When Steve realizes this, as he is gripping onto the car for dear life, he whines. “Oh, no. Guys.”

Everyone ignores him and he continues to try to stop what’s happening. You hobble over to him, a new wave of nausea and pain washing over you, and lean against him helplessly. There’s no use trying to explain to him that the party won’t listen. For now, you simply relish in his presence and enjoy how he feels against you. 

“We are not going down there right now!” Steve, though gentle to not jostle you around too much, waves his hands in the air as he screams at Max. “I made myself clear. There is no chance we’re going to that hole, alright?”

Similar to last year, Steve begins to spiral in his fear. He wraps his arms around you and places you against the car before he runs over to Dustin and throws that backpack that’s in the kid’s hands. “This is not happening!”

You slowly walk over and grab the thrown backpack, hoping that Dustin can reason with the teen. 

“Steve, you’re upset. I get it, but the bottom line is that a party member requires assistance and it is our duty to provide that assistance.” When you join Dustin’s side, he helps you put the goggles on and brings your bandana up over your mouth. “Now, I know you promised Nance that you would keep us safe. So keep us safe.”

He hands Steve the backpack you retrieved. 

Steve looks between you and your brother. You both look absolutely ridiculous in your get up, and he knows he has no other choice but to agree. His eyes meet yours and he silently asks if you’re sure about this, he will always look to you for the answers. 

You nod, hoping that the small head shift is conveying what you physically cannot say.

I’m here, the kids need us, and I need you with me.

Steve hears it, sighs, and grabs the backpack from your hands. 

“Well, let’s get going.” He motions for you and Dustin to lead the way. 

– 

“I got you,” Steve’s voice is soft as his hands graze your waist. He’s standing below you, already having jumped into the tunnels so that he can help you climb down the rope safely. You’re not sure if it’s his touch, or the way his voice drips with promises to protect you, or the simple fact that you’re bleeding and bruised that makes your body weak. 

“Drop me and die.” Your knuckles are white as they clutch the rope, your body shaking with exhaustion as you try to ease your way down without further injuring your ribs. 

Steve laughs and tightens his grip on your waist, steadying you as you finally inch the rest of the way down and land with a gentle thud onto the ground. “Like I’d ever dream of letting you go.”

This time, you know it’s his words that cause you to shiver, not the exhaustion and pain. 

“Ahem.”

Turning around, you see Dustin glaring at you and Steve while Lucas is stifling laughs. You roll your eyes at them and step away so that you aren’t standing so close to Steve, and he seems to think the same and distances himself as well. 

“Holy shit,” Steve breathes out, now finally examining the tunnels. 

It takes your breath away as well. The tunnels are terrifying, but oddly kind of cool. There’s a dim light within them, almost ghostly, and yet it’s beautiful in a way that you can’t quite describe. Small particles float through the air, and you reach your hand out to feel them against your skin. It tickles, akin to snowflakes, and the reminder makes you yearn for winter again. 

Mike’s flashlight distracts you as he shines it towards a random section of the tunnel. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure it’s this way.”

“You’re pretty sure, or you’re certain?” Dustin asks, doubtful. 

“I’m 100% sure, just follow me and you’ll know.”

As soon as Mike’s declaration of leading leaves his lips, you and Steve share and look and immediately stumble towards the boy. 

Like hell you’re letting him lead. He’s a child, and he’s also incredibly horrible at navigating. Last time you let him guide the way, you ended up finding El in the middle of the woods. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Steve flashes his light at Mike. “I don’t think so.”

“What?”

“Any of you little shits die down here, I’m getting the blame. Got it, dipshit?” Steve takes the map from Mike’s hands and then looks over at you. “I guide, you take the rear?”

You nod. “Good luck.”

Steve smiles, his sarcastic bravado now gone, before he suddenly clears his throat once more and shouts. “From here on out, I’m leading the way while Y/N makes sure none of you idiots get lost. Come on.”

The kids groan and roll their eyes at him, but they fall into line and do as they’re told. 

Dustin walks in front of you and offers you his hand. He knows the uneven terrain will only increase the chances of your ankle acting up. “How’s the ankle?”

“Hurts,” you rasp, accepting his hand as you hobble along. He hums and helps you navigate, the goggles covering his nose makes him sound nasally. “Did I put up a good fight at least?”

Your throat strains to get all the words out, but Dustin seems to understand what you’ve said and laughs. “Yeah, you did a much better job than Steve–What the hell?”

Dustin stops walking and suddenly looks up. Unsure what he’s seen, you look up as well and gasp. Above you rests a giant flower-bud looking thing, except it’s pulsing in a very concerning and gross way and is the size of a car. When it starts to expand even larger, you realize before your brother does what it’s about to do; you tug at his hand and try to run away, but Dustin doesn’t move.

Then, in one grand blow, the bud explodes and releases what you can only imagine are pollen spores, and they spray all over Dustin. “Shit!” He falls to the ground, screaming and rolling around as if he’s just been shot, and all you can do is stand there and silently wait for him to calm down enough for you to talk to him. “Help! Y/N, help!”

You motion to your throat, but Dustin gags and scrambles to stand up before promptly falling back down again in his haste. 

Steve and the others have now joined and everyone is crowding over your brother with worry. “Dustin? What happened?”

“Pollen.” You croak, and Steve looks even more confused now. 

“It’s in my mouth!” Dustin spits onto the ground and coughs, wheezing every few breaths. “Some of it got on my mouth. Shit!”

Mike points his flashlight at you. “Any more useful insight from Kermit the frog?”

You glare at him, although the nickname is funny and you hate that it’s clever. You clear your throat, cringe at the sting it sends down your body, and respond, “Rose-bud thing. Exploded. He’s fine.”

Everyone tilts their head at you, not at all understanding what you’re trying to say, and you groan. It’s incredibly frustrating that Billy left you unable to say a goddamn thing without immeasurable pain. You honestly would’ve preferred that he stab you or something, because your intelligence and wit are so crucial to who you are as a person. 

Plus the whole Kermit the frog thing kind of sucks, regardless of how funny it will be later. 

“I’m fine.” Dustin gasps out. “As Y/N said, a rose-bud thing sprayed me.”

“You guys serious?” Max shakes her head, at a loss for why she’s even here. 

“Very funny, man.” Steve looks at you and teases, “And Y/N, I expected more from you.”

You give him the finger. “Dustin, not me.”

“Mhm,” he’s starting to walk away again, resuming his leader position through the tunnels, but he sends you a wink. “C’mon, Hendersons.”

The rest of the kids follow after him while you help Dustin up and wipe him off. He’s a mess, and he’s clearly still frightened, but he seems reassured by your presence and begins to calm down. When he’s ready, you and Dustin follow.

The tunnels are long, windy, and incredibly disturbing to be in. You can’t believe that something this intricate and vast has been laying underneath Hawkins for god knows how long. The ground beneath your feet is squishy and it takes both Dustin’s hand and immense concentration to not trip. 

Steve leads, his flashlight serving as a beacon to focus on despite the pounding in your head. The bandana tied over your nose only makes the ringing in your ears worse, but you’ll leave inhaling mysterious Upside Down particles to your brother. 

After a few minutes of walking, you’re starting to fear that the poorly drawn map from Mike really is just a poorly drawn map. Then, Steve stops. “Alright, Wheeler. I think we found your hub.”

You flick your flashlight around and your eyes widen. It’s huge. In the center lies a mound of what you hope is just mud, but you see a bone or two stick out from it and look away. To your left, there’s easily five or six more tunnels, each varying in width and height, and to your right is the same. 

Seeing how vast the tunnel system is, you’re thankful for Mike’s genius little brain. 

“Let’s drench it!” Except the vigor in his voice frightens you and you consider that he may be the world’s next mad scientist. 

However, a plan is a plan and you’ve already made it this far, so you set to work on spraying the area with gasoline. Between you, Steve, and the kids, within minutes you’ve created the world’s most flammable labyrinth. 

When you’re done, Steve guides the kids back towards the exit and you make sure everyone’s behind the two of you. He kneels, flicks out his lighter, and turns to everyone. “Alright, you guys ready?”

“Ready,” Max and Lucas say.

Dustin tightens his hand around yours, preparing to help you run as fast as you can with your ankle. “Light her up.”

Steve flicks his lighter open. “I am in such deep shit.”

“Together.” You nudge him with your shoe, and even though his face is hidden, you know he smiles. 

He takes a deep breath, winds his arm back, and flings the lighter into the center of the hub. 

Immediately everything bursts into flames. In the blaze, the strange roots that had been lying dormant on the ground now come to life as they flail against the heat. They twist and whip around, writhing in pain. The tunnels themselves almost seem to come to life as it writhes in pain. 

“Go, go, go!” Steve yells, pushing everyone back to start running. 

You stay behind with him, making sure all the kids have started to run before you finally let Dustin tug you along as well. The boy is screaming, hopping and dodging roots as best as he can while squealing, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!”

Steve takes the lead now, having somehow memorized the way out. “Let’s go!”

You’re disoriented. Dustin’s hand is gripping yours so harshly and it’s taking everything within you to keep up, but your ankle throbs and your left eye has only continued to swell from the punch earlier. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to follow along, and in your disorientation you lose track of Mike. 

When he falls, everything within you snaps back into focus. You tear your hand from Dustin’s and you’re at Mike’s side in a heartbeat, but already the roots have started to wrap around his leg; he screams. “Help! Y/N, help me!”

Your hands shake as you reach for your switchblade, adrenaline runs through you so violently that you feel lightheaded. Mike’s screams are the only thing keeping you grounded right now. As he panics, you roughly grab his shirt and force him back before you start to hack at the root with your knives. 

“Pull him back!” Steve instructs the kids, who have now joined. “Y/N, watch out!”

You have just enough time to cut through one root before dodging Steve’s bat as he hits at the other. It takes a few swings, but with one final blow, you and the kids are able to pull Mike free and help him stand back up. 

“You good?” Lucas pants, patting MIke’s shoulders for any injuries while Dustin asks, “You okay?”

You pull Mike into you and quickly hug him, damning whatever time constraint you currently have against you. Your hands are still shaking, which Mike feels, and he gives you a quick pat before pulling away. “Glad you care, but–”

“We gotta go!” Steve steps between you two, bat still in hand, when a growl erupts from behind him. 

Dustin shoves everyone behind him before you can stop him. He’s recognized the growl before you have. “Dart.”

The Demodog growls again. He’s bigger than ever before, now practically fully grown. His growth distracts you long enough to miss Dustin slowly starting to approach him. When you do, you immediately try to stop him. 

“Dustin–” Fear overtakes you.

“Steve, hold her back.” He orders. “Just trust me, okay?”

Steve’s arms wrap around you and you try to fight back. “No–”

“Y/N,” he whispers into your ear, keeping an eye on your brother as well. “If you freak out now, Dustin will get hurt.”

He’s right, you know he’s right, but your brother is only a foot away from Dart now and he’s now smaller than the creature. One wrong move, and he’s dead.

Dustin kneels in front of Dart and you feel your heart drop. You don’t dare breathe as he takes off his goggles and mask and leans in closer to the creature. “Hey, it’s me. It’s just your friend, it’s Dustin.”

Dart slowly inches forward as Dustin continues to talk. “You remember me? Will you let us pass?”

This time, Dart’s entire mouth opens as he snarls at Dustin.

Again you struggle in Steve’s arms, but he only tightens his hold on you as you watch your baby brother, terrified, face off against the Demodog. 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” Dustin lowers his voice, unwavering against Dart’s malice. “I’m sorry about the storm cellar. That was a pretty douchy thing to do. I blame Y/N, she’s always the one who makes me do the right thing.”

The little shit has you scared out of your fucking mind, and yet he has the nerve to somehow make this your fault.

If he gets out of this alive, you’re never, ever letting him go again. 

Dustin reaches into his backpack, eyes never leaving Dart. “You hungry?

“He’s insane,” Lucas whispers in awe. Both you and Steve tell him to shut up, scared that any noise will cause Dart to attack.

“I’ve got our favorite.” Dustin waves the candy in front of Dart’s face. “See? Nougat.”

As soon as the Demodog sees the candy bar, his demeanor shifts and he happily approaches Dustin. Within seconds, your brother has managed to re-tame his weird Upside Down pet, and for a brief second you feel bad that Dustin can’t keep him. 

“Look at that. Yummy!” He places the candy on the ground as a peace offering and he starts to motion behind him, waving for you and everyone else to start moving. “Eat up, buddy.”

Steve guides Lucas, Max, and Mike past Dart and through the tunnel that was previously blocked by him, but you stay behind. Your knives are drawn; you’re not leaving your brother’s side. 

“There’s plenty,” Dustin coos to the creature, placing down one last candy bar before standing up. When he sees that you’re still there, he grabs your hand and starts to walk away with you. Feeling his hand, warm and alive against yours, is enough to calm you down enough to follow. Before the two of you leave, however, Dustin turns around one last time to look at Dart, a sad smile on his face. “Goodbye, buddy.”

Dart doesn’t show any reaction, too busy devouring the candy he’s been given, and you gently tug Dustin along to safety, albeit with some guilt. He really loved that little lizard thing. 

As soon as the two of you are out of danger, you pull Dustin into a bone crushing hug. “You’re stupid.”

“Stupid brave,” he mumbles against you, though his arms are tight against your waist. He had been scared, too. 

You snort and pull your bandana down so you can kiss the top of Dustin’s head. “Just stupid.” 

“Guys, we gotta go.” Steve whispers, feeling bad for interrupting your moment with the kid. He can still feel the way your body shook in his arms, how he could hear your terrified heartbeat as he held you back. He felt horrible for doing it, but he promised Nancy he’d keep the kids safe, and Steve knows that she also wanted him to protect you, too.

At Steve’s urgent whisper, you reluctantly nod and pull away from Dustin. With one last shoulder squeeze, you pat his back and tug at his hand to start running. As you run, the ground trembles beneath your feet. You’re the first one to fall, Max and Lucas not far behind. “Fuck!” 

Steve has your hand within his in seconds and he gently pulls you up. His face is obscured from the goggles and banana, yet you can see the concern when he looks at you. When he stands you back up, he pulls you close and whispers, “You okay?”

You nod, about to tell him to keep running, when you hear the first screech of the Demodogs. 

“What was that?” Max inches towards your side, now long familiar with what the screeches mean. 

As if almost in response to the girl, more screeches follow as they echo through the tunnels. Only this time, there’s more of them; more than you’d even want to imagine. The hair on your arms stands up as the screeching continues. You know that if you don’t run now, none of you will stand a chance. 

“They’re coming.” Mike realizes. “Run! Run, let’s go!”

You snatch Dustin’s hand and practically throw the kid forward with how harshly you begin running. Lucas and Max run past, while Mike follows after Steve. Your footsteps fall harshly against the tunnel’s earthy ground and it takes everything within you to keep going. When you round the corner and see the rope, you almost sob with relief. 

“Kids first!” You shout, damning whatever further damage it’ll do to your vocal chords.

Steve understands immediately and kneels beneath the rope to give the kids a boost up while you hold the rope taught and help lift them. Max is the first up, both you and Steve more so throwing her rather than helping her.

“C’mon!” Steve encourages her, and with one final shove from you, she makes it over the edge and is safe. 

Everything happens so fast, it’s a blur as you help Lucas start to climb out, then Mike, and as you’re hauling Dustin up next, you hear the Demodogs drawing near. 

“Oh, shit!” Steve hears them as soon as you do and he grabs for his bat and starts to place himself in front of you and Dustin, but you stop him. 

“No!” You yank him back and then grab your brother, shoving him underneath the rope. The shadows of the Demodogs cast against the wall, you know you only have seconds before they’re here. “Throw him up!”

Dustin realizes what you’re about to do. “Y/N, no–”

But Steve already has a grip on him. “You’re going home.”

“No!” Dustin screams and tries to stay behind, wriggling and thrashing, but with Steve’s help, you’re able to lift him to safety before the first Demodog appears. Dustin, now safely above ground, sees this too. His heart stops. “Y/N!”

“Steve! Y/N! Climb up!” The kids begin to shout now, urging you and the teen to get out of the tunnels, fear alive in their voices. 

You look up at them, see their faces alive with youth, and then turn to Steve. He seems to be thinking the same thing as you. You’ve both run out of time. He nods, you do as well, and together you’ve accepted your fate. Steve draws his bat as you raise your knives. 

“Y/N!” Dustin’s voice rings through clearer than the other’s, the despair evident. You close your eyes for a second, wishing that there was more you could’ve done, but at least he’s safe.

Jonathan will take care of him, Nancy will, too. 

He won’t be alone, and you have Steve with you, who is holding your hand as if it contains all the secrets of the world.

It’ll be okay. 

You open your eyes. 

The Demodogs, miraculously, start to run right past you and Steve. They weave between you two, not at all paying any attention. You stand as still as possible, not wanting to wake them from whatever trance they seem to be in. 

However, one particularly large Demodog crashes against your leg and sends you into Steve’s side, who wraps his arms around you with a fierce protectiveness. You duck your head down, unaware just how desperately you’d been craving his presence, and he buries you further against him as the monsters continue to run. 

The two of you cower, curling into one another, steadying the other, waiting for something to happen. Steve has his feet firmly planted and stands his ground as more monsters run past, and without him you would’ve fallen minutes ago, trampled by the creatures. 

When you can’t hear any more Demodogs, you slowly lift your head from Steve’s chest and look around. 

They’re gone. Each and every one of them has left. 

You’re still in Steve’s arms, your chests are pressed tightly together and you’ve never been this close to him before. When you look up at him, you can feel his breath against your skin. There’s an odd look in his eyes, he’s studying your face as if seeing it for the first time, and his gaze makes something deep within you stir. 

“Thank you,” you whisper, needing to say something. He’s once again saved your life, and your eyes can’t seem to leave his. 

His fingers dig into your side, it’s the only way he can respond. The sensation causes you to shiver and your eyes slowly drift down to his lips. They’re a lovely shade of pink, flush and full. You wonder what they’d taste like, if he’s wondered the same about you. 

Steve stares down at you and feels every breath you take, the rise and fall of your chest matching his. The two of you stand like this for a moment, hearts beating together as you cling to one another, until Dustin clears his throat. 

“Ahem,” he draws your attention. “There are kids here, ya know.”

Lucas, Max, and Mike all snicker when you frantically pull away from Steve in embarrassment. Both of your faces are red, the air between you still hangs with something you’re not quite sure how to name. 

“We’re coming.” Steve mumbles to your brother before turning to you. “Ready?”

You take a deep breath and nod, your nerves still shaky from being so close to him prior. When you’re ready, you grab onto the rope and feel Steve’s always gentle hands grip your waist. You’re slow climbing up, being the most injured out of everyone, but he’s patient with you and murmurs encouragement as you climb. 

Once you’re safely up, you help the kids with Steve. The moment his feet touch solid land, he lets out a low whistle and claps his hands. “Well, I’d say that went well–”

Suddenly, Billy’s headlights begin to shine obnoxiously bright. The light increases in its intensity, glowing brighter and brighter, so much so that you and everyone else have to shield your eyes. Then, just as suddenly as it began, the lights shut off. 

It’s quiet. No one says anything, unsure of what’s just happened, but you know.

“El,” you whisper, somehow knowing it’s her. Mike nods, understanding as well. 

She did it. 

She closed the gate. 

You pull the kids into you, dragging them all in your arms in a giant hug. All you feel right now is disbelief. The plan worked. You’re all somehow still alive. 

Steve stands behind you, his chest firm against your back, and you allow yourself to gently lean against him. To accept all that he’s silently providing you; there’s no point in fighting it any more. He’s here, offering you anything you need from him, and you’re exhausted from pretending that you don’t see it. 

After a few moments of silence, you finally release the kids and nudge them towards the car. 

It’s time to go home. 

– 

“So what exactly did you guys do with Billy?” Steve’s driving and you’re in the passenger seat, waves of exhaustion crashing upon you. From the rearview mirror, Steve sees Lucas, Dustin, and Mike all turn to Max slowly. He frowns. “Why are you all looking at her?”

Max shifts uncomfortably in her seat. “I handled it.”

“She sedated him and we left him on the floor at Will’s.” Dustin fills in the information that Max opted to omit, which she elbows him for. 

Steve blinks, turns to you, and asks, “You heard that too, right?”

“Mhm.”

“Cool.”

When you get to Jonathan’s, Billy is sitting hunched over on the porch, waiting. He looks rough, his eyes bleary and his hair matted. When you see him, you feel your throat constrict in pain and a sense of panic builds within you. You look towards Steve, see his bruised cheek, then notice the way Max squirms in the backseat being near Billy, and the panic is replaced with anger. 

He’s caused enough pain and turmoil to those you love. 

Steve parks the car and turns in his seat so that he’s facing everyone. “Alright, we all see that Billy is awake, so you guys stay here while I go and–”

“We.” You correct, swallowing down the pain you feel. 

Steve inhales and looks as if he wants to argue, but he just shakes his head and continues. “Okay, we go and talk to the guy.”

“I want to come.” Max says, though she still refuses to look in Billy’s direction. 

You rest a hand on her leg. You understand what she’s asking for, to handle her brother herself, take her life into her own hands. Max is a brave kid, she’s shown you that much tonight, and while you trust her to make the right decision, you’re still hesitant. “Are you sure?”

She thinks for a second before nodding. Her eyes harden and she juts her jaw out. She’s made up her mind, and you get a kick out of seeing the fire within her. Max Mayfield is an incredible young girl, and you’re honored to know that she trusts you. “I’m sure.”

“Then let’s go.”

You, Steve, and Max walk side by side towards Billy, though you make sure to place the girl slightly behind you in case her brother tries anything. 

When Billy notices you approach, he lifts his head up and waves lazily at the three of you. “Back already?” His words slur together and his eyes are glossy; the sedative must still be wearing off. 

Max steps forward. “Take me home.” 

Billy eyes her, looks between you and Steve, and then sighs. “Fine. Any other demands?”

The girl shakes her head. “I’ll wait in the car.”

And then she’s gone, leaving you and Steve alone with Billy. 

He eyes you, sees the bruises on your neck, and a languid smile drawls across his face. “Seems I left a mark, sweetheart.”

Steve steps forward, but you put your hand out and stop him. You appreciate him, you do, but this is something you have to do yourself. You swallow again, feeling the tender flesh within your throat constrict, and try to make your words come out as neutral as possible. “Seems I did, too.”

Billy looks down at his shoulder, the wound from your knife is still bleeding. “So you did.”

Lucas and the other boys stand off to the side now, having left the car alone for Max. When Billy notices them staring, he sighs and wipes his hands off on his jeans and slowly gets up. “Well, my bitch of a sister awaits.”

As Billy leaves, Mike runs up the steps and unlocks the front door. “Y/N, think you could make those cookies again? I’m starving.”

You glare at him and Steve laughs. “I’m not sure she can even walk up the steps, dude.”

“Yeah, look at her.” Dustin waves his hands in front of you. “She looks like a zombie.”

Lucas makes zombie sounds and pretends to eat Dustin’s brains before Mike joins in. The three of them chase each other into the house, screaming “brains” and “die” as they mess around, leaving you and Steve alone outside. 

He steps in front of you, his back towards you and he crouches down. “Care for a ride?”

You want to argue, but it’s becoming harder and harder to keep your eyes open. It’d be a miracle if you even manage up the first step on the porch. Hesitantly, you place your hands on Steve’s shoulders and jump onto his back.

“Atta girl,” he laughs, standing back up so that he can carry you inside and join the boys. You wrap your arms around his neck and nuzzle your face as you close your eyes. You’re seconds away from falling asleep. Steve seems to sense this and slows down his footsteps so as to not disturb you. 

He navigates the home, remembering where to go from his time here last year. You’re warm against him and Steve’s fingers draw lazy circles onto your ankles. The boys are in the kitchen, scurrying around for any food, and Steve relishes in this small moment with you.

You’re placed down into a soft bed and the smell of Jonathan overwhelms you; you open your eyes and realize that Steve has taken you to the boy’s room. The bed is warm beneath you, the scent soothes your wounds. 

“Jonathan’s?” You ask, confused as to why Steve would take you here.

“Figured it’s where you sleep when you’re here.” He shrugs, as if it’s no big deal, before grabbing the blankets and tucking you in. His movements are careful and he makes sure your head is resting on a pillow and that he takes off your shoes. 

The gentleness of his touch soothes you. You’ve never let anyone take care of you like this before. You let him play with your hair, wrap the blanket around you so that you won’t get cold, and when he finally seems pleased with his work, he flicks your nose and smiles. “Get some sleep, dork.”

“Everyone is safe?”

His eyes melt. “They are. They’ll be home soon. In the meantime, I’ll rustle up some grub for those heathens outside while you sleep. Doctor’s orders.”

You giggle and grab his hand to bring to your lips. They linger against his knuckles, you inhale and breathe in his scent, and Steve’s breath hitches at the touch. “Thank you,” you whisper against his skin before placing another kiss. 

There’s such a lovely buzz within your chest, holding Steve’s hand fills you with this syrupy warmth like honey, and you’ve never felt it before. It drips down your skin and into your bones, healing wounds both old and new with its kisses. 

Steve squeezes your hand with his. He feels it, too. You both do. 

–

A body slides in next to yours, rousing you from your sleep. A hand wraps around your waist and the fingers, long and lithe and familiar, skim your skin lazily. The sensation almost lulls you back to sleep, you know whose touch this is, whose body lays next to yours. 

You open your arms and engulf Jonathan into a hug. His body lays atop of yours, reminiscent of the night a few days ago when he snuck into your room before he left with Nancy. Your body has long since come to anticipate his weight against yours, it’s become accustomed to how he lands upon you. 

“What time is it?” You rasp, stroking Jonathan’s hair with your fingers as he breathes steadily against you. You’re not sure how long you’ve been asleep, but the pain in your throat has lessened, your voice is slowly returning to normal.

“Early morning,” he mumbles, pressing a kiss against your shoulder. “Steve took Dustin home, no one wanted to wake you. Apparently you had a rough night.”

You laugh, then wince at the pain it draws from your throat and ribs. “You could say that.”

Jonathan places another kiss upon your skin, this time against the base of your throat. He litters kisses up and down your neck, his breath tickling as he does so. “I’m sorry,” he says in between each kiss, as if his words will make the bruises fade faster. 

Rather than respond, knowing nothing you can say will make him believe that none of this is Jonathan’s fault, you simply hum at his kisses and lean into them. “Will?”

“He’s okay, he’s safe. Mom is with him now.”

You hum again, relishing in the knowledge that Will is okay and that Jonathan is once again here with you. The house is quiet, everyone else asleep, and the two of you lay like this for a while. No more words are said, Jonathan presses kisses against your skin as your fingers interlock through his hair and you run your hand up and down his back. 

Somehow, you know this will be the last time you ever have him like this. 

Just the two of you, uncrossed in any boundaries. Skin against skin, kisses to wounds and fingers intertwined. You hope that your body never forgets the weight of his. You hope that it will always anticipate his impact, welcoming it after a long day. Jonathan’s touch will soon become ghosts lingering on your skin, and selfishly you never want this moment to end. 

Uncrossed boundaries, threads and strings and lines. 

They’re here. You can see them now, they almost glow faintly within Jonathan’s room, the same room in which you grew up in. 

“Bee?” You whisper, nudging him gently to get his attention. He lifts his head from your neck and looks at you, eyes open and listening. “We have to talk about it.”

The early morning light streams through the curtain and illuminates Jonathan’s face. His eyes are a mixture of browns and reds and ambers and you try to remember what they look like now, before the words are said and nothing will ever be the same again. 

“I’m scared,” he admits. You’ve made him into who he is today, with all of his quirks and humor and love. Jonathan doesn’t know who he would be without you, and he’s terrified that he’ll say the wrong thing and lose you forever.

“I know,” you stroke his cheek. “I am, too.”

“I don’t want to–I can’t lose you.”

“You’ll never lose me, Jonathan Byers.” You’re firm in your words, now grasping at his face with your hands. “We’re connected, remember? String theory, you and me.”

Jonathan has tears in his eyes. “But I slept with Nancy.”

His confession only makes you sigh. “I know, bee.”

“I–I think… I think this time it’ll turn into something more. I… I think I love her, bug.” His voice cracks, terrified of his own words. He recognizes now, far too late, all that he’s missed. “But bug… I know there’s–that there’s some things we should’ve talked about. A long time ago… but I just…”

“I know,” you know everything he’s trying to tell you. There’s no hurt in your voice, only resignation, but you knew this would happen eventually. “We missed our chance a while ago.”

“Did we ever really have a chance?” He asks, thinking back to the day the two of you met. How easily you accepted him into your life, the role you unknowingly assigned to him as your best friend. How, for years, he’d been so in love with you but terrified it’d scare you away. 

You play with his fingers, thinking for a moment. “I’d like to think that we did. I think we just… We missed each other, along the way.”

He smiles, bittersweet and somber. “We would’ve been something great, huh?”

“You’re my person,” you tell him, a certain sadness creeping into your voice. It’s the truth. No one will ever know you like he does, no one can unravel you the way he can. The love you have for Jonathan is unyielding, it transcends everything else you’ve ever felt. “Of course we would’ve been something great.”

“And now?”

You bite your lip, unsure. “Now we just… We let go.”

Jonathan tightens his arms and presses himself further against you. “I’m never letting you go, Y/N Henderson.”

You feel tears beginning to form in your eyes, both from grief and acceptance. “You don’t have to, but we have to let go of our claim to one another. You’re Nancy’s, now. It wouldn't be fair otherwise. To anyone.”

“And you’re Steve’s?” He asks, hesitant to bring the boy up. While you watched Jonathan fall in love with Nancy, he’s watched you fall for Steve. 

“I think I could really love him,” you admit, breathless. “I think I’ve already started to fall for him.”

Jonathan’s heart twists at the breathlessness in your voice, though he knows he’ll have to get used to this. To no longer being the reason for your bashfulness. It’ll take time, but he knows in the end that it’s for the better. “You deserve to go for it, bug.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” he playfully pokes your side. “Nancy fucked up with him, and I fucked up with you. The two of you deserve better than us, and I… I want you to be happy, you know that.”

“I know, but…” you turn to him now, needing him to understand all that you still don’t know how to voice yourself. “Remember our pinky promise from last year?”

Jonathan wiggles his pinky at you, unsure where you’re going with this. “I do.”

“We’ll always stay like this, right? You and me?” You know it’s selfish to ask, to expect everything to stay the same between you, but losing Jonathan would be the one thing you’d never recover from. He’s in your bones, now. He’s grown up alongside you, patched up your wounds as a child and now holds your hands through the nightmares you face together. 

It doesn’t matter how you and Jonathan end, whether you’re lovers in this universe or simply the best of friends. Regardless of what’s happened, he’s the most important person in your life. He always will be.

Jonathan presses a kiss upon your forehead, his lips warm. “Always, and I’ll always love you the most, bug.”

“I’ll always love you the most, bee.” The words come easily to you, an exhale after being inhaled so long ago. 

The world stills. Then, as slow as the sun rises after a harsh winter’s night, the strings and lines finally settle between you two.

“Let’s go to bed.” Jonathan whispers, wanting to hold onto you for at least a few more hours. 

In the late morning hours the two of you will wake up, and it will be the last time you do so in each other’s arms. 

– 

When Jonathan drops you off at home the next day, your mom freaks when she sees you. Dustin had tried to prepare her, making up some lie about how you’d fallen down at the Byers’ house and that’s why you couldn’t come home for a few days. However, your mom still had a heart attack when you walked through the front door with a split head, black eye, bruised neck, and a bloodied side. 

“My baby!” She took you into her arms and immediately set her eyes on Jonathan. “What, did you have a bear in the house or something?”

Jonathan looked over at Dustin with a helpless look on his face and your brother had sighed. He figured he’d have to be the one to take over. “Like I said, mom. Y/N just got really into our campaign and fell. She’s fine, I mean, look at her!”

You did your best to appear very fine and healthy, despite your concussion forming a horrendous headache. You forced a smile on your face, all teeth. “All fine and dandy, mom.”

Claudia Henderson hadn’t bought it.

You were placed under house arrest for two weeks. 

During these two weeks, you were only allowed to leave the house to either go to work (somehow Mrs. Waters still hasn’t fired you despite missing three days of work), and go to school. It wasn’t so bad, though. You had needed the rest, and Nancy visited you a few days into your house arrest.

You’re not sure when she officially began her relationship with Jonathan, but the first time she came to see you, she had brought a giant basket full of baked goods and comics she had asked Jonathan about. 

“You didn’t have to get me anything, Nance.” You had informed the girl when you saw her struggling to carry the basket. 

“I stole your boyfriend, it’s the least I could do.” You stared at her, eyes so wide that your black eye almost fully opened, and Nancy had let out a loud laugh. You’d never heard her laugh so openly before, and it was a beautiful sight. “It was a joke, Y/N. It’s okay to laugh.”

“Ha, ha, Wheeler.” You took the basket from her and inspected its contents. There were more comics than you could count and the muffins smelled delicious. “This is a good haul.”

Nancy had smiled, relieved that she’d done something right. She had bugged Jonathan all day yesterday, anxious to do something nice for you because she felt this crippling need to make you like her. He had reassured her a million times that you did already like her, but Nancy has never been the best at making friends, and she knows the history between you and her is tense. 

“You really like it?”

“I love it, dude.” You saw the way Nancy’s body relaxed, as if she had been terrified you’d burn the basket in front of her face. It’s only then that you realized why she was there. “You and Jonathan finally seal the deal?”

Nancy blushed, still unused to how well you perceive others. “We did.”

“Took you guys long enough!” You squealed and threw your arms around her, elated for your friends. Sure, it still stung a bit, but Nancy was trying, so you were too. “But can I say just one thing, and then we’ll bury the hatchet for good?”

“Of course, Y/N.” Nancy said, though you felt her body tense underneath your hold. She had been bracing for impact, and it broke your heart to imagine how she was feeling in that moment. 

You grabbed her hand and looked her in the eye. “I’m happy for you two, I really am, okay? You know my history with Jonathan, and I’m sure he’s told you everything, but I need you to listen very carefully to what I’m about to say.”

“I’m listening,” she whispered, gripping your hand tightly. 

“If anything, and I mean anything, bothers you about my relationship with him, I need you to tell me. Don’t let anything simmer, don’t swallow down any hurt. I need you to know that I will always respect your guys’ relationship, and if you ever feel that I don’t, please tell me.”

Nancy, to your surprise, had laughed. “That’s it? Geesh, Y/N. I was expecting you to threaten me with your knives or something. I understand your connection with Jonathan, I know what I agreed to.” She paused, and then added with a sly smirk, “Besides, I know you wouldn’t cross any boundaries because you’ve spent practically all year pining after Steve.”

“I did not!” You gaped at her, shocked that she would say such a thing, and Nancy laughed so hard that it took both you and her another ten minutes to say anything else. It was lovely, laughing alongside the girl you once held so much resentment over. Now there you were, rib cage aching with glee.

And that’s how Nancy Wheeler became your best friend.  

After that, things seemed to settle down during the month that followed the events of Hawkin’s Lab. 

While you healed your wounds at home, Jonathan and Nancy came to visit you whenever they could. It was weird, at first, being in the same room as them now that they were together, but within minutes the three of you formed your own dynamic. You and Nancy teased Jonathan while he simply shook his head at the two of you and did whatever you asked. 

It was a good dynamic, really. 

A week into house arrest, your mom let you finally return to work.

Of course, on your first day back, Steve was standing inside of Bookstrordinary, waiting for you. 

Seeing him there, hair messy and smile warm, felt like coming home. 

“Back so soon?” You had teased, walking slowly up to him. 

His smile widened and he grabbed your hand and tugged you closer, impatient with how long it was taking you to come to him. “Like I could wait any longer.”

“I stack and you sort?”

“Let’s get to work, Henderson.” He winked and spun you around, causing you to giggle, a sound he’d come to adore, and the two of you set off to work. 

Steve becomes a regular at Bookstrorindary again, and one day you come home from school to find him sitting at your kitchen table with Dustin and your mom. They were eating an after school snack together, chatting as if they were old friends. Your mom was even blushing as Steve charmed her. It was a disorienting sight, to say the least. 

“Is this going to be a thing now?” You’d asked, setting your backpack down to grab your own snack and join. 

“I invited him.” Dustin said with a mouth full of apples. “He’s cool, and mom likes him, so. Yeah.”

Your mom pinched Steve’s cheek and giggled. “He’s just so charming!”

Steve sent you a wink, basking in your mother’s praise, and in that moment, seeing him with the two people you loved most in this world, you knew.

It hit you like a warm, soft summer breeze. It swirled around you, kissed your skin the way only the sun can do, and you could almost smell the fresh summer honey that your dad used to buy for your birthday. The feeling was serene, it felt as easy as exhaling.

You were in love with Steve Harrington. 

Only this time, the realization made you smile; you accepted it with open arms. You walked over to him and ruffled his hair before sitting next to him at the table. Biting your own apple, you winked at your mom, agreeing with what she had said. “He is indeed very charming.”

Dustin gagged while Steve draped an arm across your chair and stole your apple. “That I am, Y/N.”

Maybe love wasn’t so bad after all.

The following week, both Steve and Nancy asked you to attend Barb’s funeral, and of course you went. 

It was a small service, and Jonathan held Nancy’s hand throughout all of it. While it hurt to see her cry, you can’t help but think about how incredible Nancy is. She’s the reason that Barb is even getting a funeral in the first place, having brilliantly exposed Hawkin’s Lab and giving her friend the justice she deserves. 

Steve stood next to you, stoic and guilty, and after the service ended you had to pull him aside and remind him that none of it had been his fault. He listened, but you know he hadn’t necessarily heard you.

It’s similar to how you feel with Will, and how Jonathan feels with you, and Nancy with Barb. 

You all hold a heavy weight within you, of guilt and shame and despair. There’s nothing that specifically can be done to lessen it. All you can do is allow the ones you love to carry the weight with you, to share it and accept the help that they offer. 

Time can’t heal all wounds, you recognize this now, so you do things for those you love and see the good that’s still there, even if it’s hard sometimes. 

And that’s what you do.

You start stopping by Hopper’s cabin to see El.

He hated it at first, but when you showed up one day with a box of nail polish and comics, El had been so overjoyed that he simply sighed and let you in. 

You teach the girl how to read, having her say words out loud as you paint her nails, and it’s lovely. It’s rare to get the girl all to yourself, so spending time with her is always the favorite part of your day. Plus, she starts to get really into Spider-Man, so you’ve done your job as an avid fan. 

As for Will and the boys, you start to make it a point to partake in their DnD campaigns whenever possible. While it’s hard balancing work, school, El, and the party, you don’t regret it for a single second. It’s exhausting, but a good kind of exhaustion. One that leaves your bones aching in a rewarding way at the end of the day.

You’ll never tell Jonathan this, but he had been right a few months ago. You’d been burning yourself out, running away from everything you didn’t want to confront, from your feelings to your crippling worry for the kids. You’re not sure how much you had left in you, looking back now.

You had been drowning for a long, long time. 

But as you pick up Dustin and Will from Mike’s, Jonathan by your side as always, your nails painted a messy shade of blue thanks to El, and Steve waiting for you back at your house, you’re finally able to breathe. 

– 

It somehow takes you the entire day to get Dustin ready for the Snowball. 

He’s running around the house, frantically trying to find his bowtie that he’s misplaced, and you’re currently digging through the endless supply of hairspray that Steve dropped off yesterday. There’s so much hair products within the bag that he delivered, and it actually scares you a little. 

No way this much chemicals can be good for a kid. 

“Did you find the bowtie?” You yell from the bathroom, finally managing to open the bottle of hairspray that Steve specifically told you to use first. 

“Yes!” Dustin runs back into the bathroom and throws the piece of fabric at you. “Quick, put it on while I spray my hair!” 

You roll your eyes at him but do as he asks, securing his bowtie to his baby blue button shirt. However, as he sprays his hair, he almost blinds you in the process. “Christ, Dustin! That’s practically a weapon.”

He continues to spray. “You’re the one who insisted on helping me get ready.”

“I wanted you to look handsome,” you coo at him, straightening his bowtie one final time before stepping back and admiring your handiwork. “All done, and look at you!”

Dustin sprays even more product into his hair and tries to shove you out of the bathroom, but he secretly preens. “Am I really handsome?”

You admire him and you can’t believe how grown up he is now. He’s grown another three inches since last month and with the way he’s styled his hair, he looks like a teenager. Your heart stings a bit, seeing him no longer look like the little brother you know and love. He’s changing, growing up. “The handsomest.”

He smiles at you. “Thanks, Y/N. Now go get dressed while I finish my hair. Steve will be here any minute!”

You salute him and run to your room. Nancy had asked you to chaperon alongside her at the dance, and you figured it’d be fun watching Dustin and the party failing miserably with prepubescent girls, so you agreed. However, because it somehow took five hours helping your brother get ready, you run around your room in a hurry.

You’ve just finished applying some mascara when the doorbell rings, and your heart skips a beat.

“Y/N, Steve is here!” Your mother calls, a slight glee in her voice. She’s quickly come to adore the boy, something that Steve milks whenever he can. He’s incredibly proud of it, honestly. 

You run to the door and open it, Dustin is still spraying his hair to death in the bathroom. 

When Steve sees you, he forgets how to speak. You’re dressed in a soft white dress and you’ve pinned the front two pieces of your hair back. You’ve dotted your lips with a berry-red lipstick and your cheeks look more flushed than usual. 

You see the blush that immediately forms on Steve’s cheeks and you giggle, suddenly shy. It’s awkward, but a nice awkward between you two. “Hey.”

“H–hi.” His voice squeaks and he clears his throat. “I–I mean, hey. You, uh… You look. Wow. I mean, not wow, but also wow–”

“Dude,” Dustin now joins and looks disappointedly at Steve. “Get it together, man.”

He pats his chest and starts heading towards the car, and you can’t help but snort. “He’s so lovely, isn’t he?”

Steve holds out his arm for you to take, the momentary awkwardness now gone. “The Henderson charm is a fascinating thing.”

During the car ride, the closer Steve gets to the school, the more you see Dustin fidget in the back seat. He had been so excited earlier, but now you notice the doubt in his eyes and the way he keeps patting his hair, unsure. 

You tap Steve’s hand to get his attention. When he looks over, you motion towards the backseat and he realizes what you’re trying to tell him. He nods, and the two of you silently agree to give the kid a pep talk once you get to the school. 

“Alright, buddy. Here we are.” Steve parks the car and tries to give Dustin a reassuring smile, but your brother looks out the window and exhales nervously. “Remember, once you get in there…”

“Pretend like I don’t care.”

You interrupt. “Okay, no. I thought we abandoned that idea last month.”

“Technically you abandoned it, I didn’t.” Dustin responds, and Steve shrugs his shoulders at you. 

“Dustin, I really want you to be yourself, okay?” You turn to face the kid. “What did I tell you last month, huh?”

“That we Hendersons are charming people.” He grumbles. 

“Exactly, and I meant that. Use your charm, buddy.”

Dustin isn’t listening, instead he tries to look at himself in the rearview mirror to once again fix his hair. Steve sees this and stops him. “Hey, listen to your sister, alright? You look great, okay?”

“Such a handsome lad.”

Steve puts his hand up to stop you. “Okay, ignore her and listen to me. Now, you’re gonna go in there…”

Dustin nods. “Yeah.”

“Look like a million bucks.”

“Yeah!”

“And you’re gonna slay ‘em dead.”

“Like a lion.”

You cringe. “I’m not at all liking this language use in relation to women.”

Dustin purrs, just to spite you, but now Steve cringes and shakes his head, “Yeah, don’t do that, okay?”

“Okay.” Dustin deflates, but when Steve offers him his hand to shake, his face lights back up and he accepts it. 

Steve winks at the kid. “Good luck.”

“You got this!” You shout as Dustin exits the car. He gives you a thumbs up and starts to walk towards the school, leaving just you and Steve alone in the car. 

With Dustin gone, a tension creeps within the car. You look over at Steve and he catches your eye, and your stomach flutters. You can’t deny that there’s nothing there, and it’s… it’s nice, honestly. 

You don’t feel the same fear you did with Jonathan. You can look at Steve and admire his beauty and all you feel is warmth. His smile doesn’t hurt you, and the way he’s looking at you so unabashedly no longer scares you. 

“You look beautiful, Y/N.” Steve says, his voice honest and dripping with honey. 

You blush, and he wants to kiss the pretty red until it colors his own lips as well. “Thank you.”

There’s more you both want to say, but for now you simply enjoy each other’s presence. It’s too soon, you know this. He’s still in love with Nancy, and you don’t blame him. Instead, you bask in his gaze and he admires how lovely you are. How lovely you always are.

He feels it, too. He knows what you’re thinking, and for once he feels comfortable with where he is. You’re here, next to him, expecting nothing but what you know he’s ready to give you. 

You press a kiss to his cheek, and Steve’s heart aches. “Drive home safe, okay?”

As you pull away, he catches your arm and stops you. You look up, confused, and Steve’s gaze softens. He doesn’t know how else to say it, how else to ask you to stay. “Be patient with me, okay?”

You don’t have to ask what he means; you know. 

Whatever he needs, you’ll give it to him. You place a hand on his face and stroke his cheek, he leans against the touch and closes his eyes. This is the easiest promise you’ve ever made. “Take all the time you need, I’ll be here.”

The words cause Steve to sigh, you’re too good for him. You’re everything lovely and beautiful and kind, and Steve can’t believe how lucky he is to know you, to have you in his life the way no one else does. That you’ll wait for him, trusting him with your heart, and he can’t believe that you’re real.

“You’re an angel.” He breathes out, feeling everything constrict within his chest when you smile. 

“And you’re sweet honey.” You press one last kiss to Steve’s face and get out of the car. No other words are needed. 

Steve watches you as you leave, your kiss still burning his face, the same burning warmth he’s come to love about you. He watches as you walk up to Nancy inside the school and she hands you a drink, the two of you laughing. You both look so different standing side by side. 

A girl Steve loves and the girl he knows that in time he’ll come to love more than anything else. 

He’s already falling for you, he thinks he has been ever since he first saw you all those years ago when you were twelve and he was thirteen. He’s falling for you, but he won’t rush it. It wouldn’t be fair to you, not after everything you’ve been through. 

So Steve admires you, he watches the way your hair dances as you laugh and the way the kids around you smile in admiration. He forgets that Nancy is even there, his eyes only on you, and for the first time in a long time, Steve smiles a real smile. 

Your kiss on his cheek lingers, and he presses his fingers to it and feels his body warm. You’ll be waiting for him, and that’s more than enough for now.

Take your time, I’ll be here.

And Steve believes you.

[END OF SEASON 2]

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Creepypastas comforting the reader

except some of them arent particularly good at it + as per usual jeff ben and toby are written as platonic everyone else can be seen as either or writing a silly little thing before i tackle in on requests, falling into the same vibe as the "hugging/kissing creepypasta characters" post from last week since i do enjoy rating these lads on thing ehehehe obligatory "these style of posts go over my personal character limit but since this is writing for the admin he bends the rules a bit" anyways uhuh totally dont give me ideas for these eheheh winks

SLENDERMAN:

not much of a talker in general, and i think that remains true in scenario where you're upset/crying. but he does make it clear that hes here for you... just... in a general sense. you know? refuses to leave you alone unless you directly ask him that you need space; more so watches out of concern rather than his usual curiosity. i think he would make you a warm drink and let you vent to him. more of a logical approach than an emotional one; better at giving solutions rather than giving comfort.. though i like to think that his tentacles will pull you close if you want to lean into him, will let you cry into his shoulder with no judgement. 6/10 low score simply because sometimes one needs comfort in the moment instead of solutions, you know?

SPLENDORMAN:

i think hes the opposite of slenderman. hes all emotions first, logic later. if he already knows you comfortable with it, i think he would come in and scoop you up in a hug.. hell he might even cry with you, or do the equivalent of it (admin is still on the fence of whether or not he has eyes or not! torn between them being actual eyes or markings) will make you your favorite snacks and drinks, all the while letting you cry and vent to him. gets mad on your behalf if someone had done you wrong, does not make your feelings feel small or invalidated. if he could he would confront the person who treated you unfairly.... and in fact he might, who would ever believe the person that they came face to face with a ten foot tall monster? though... this can lead to him being a little quick to make choices that might have big impacts... 7/10 love this man need to write more for him and develop my hcs

EYELESS JACK:

you know now that i think about it, given how much i write for EJ, i swear ive done a similar prompt at some point. regardless of it i did and if my hcs are the same, im going to go ahead and drop my hcs. i think hes very similar to slenderman in terms that hes more of a solutions > emotion person.. though i do think hes more likely to join you in any shit talking if someone did you dirty... do i think he would target that person next when hes going to go 'hunting'? no... unless the person did something truly awful and unforgivable, then he would definitely consider it.. probably wont go through with a harvest, though.. but thats it whole other thing. more of a talker than slenderman, so at least he has that going for him. lets you sleep in his bed if youre venting to him in his cabin 7/10 one point higher than slenderman simply because he talks more n stuff

LAUGHING JACK:

im gonna be so real i think he can go either way if hes going to be good at comforting you. on one hand hes too silly and might not take it too seriously; or he might try to make you laugh.. which COULD work but other times makes it look like he doesnt care about your feelings. on the other hand i think he can give some solid adivce, but thats only based on the fact that i love it when unhinged hyper characters suddenly drop the most valuable info. shrugs. i mean if you need a distraction, i think lj is your man to go to ! he was literally made to entertain so i dont think its going to be too hard for him to take your mind elsewhere. i think he would offer to cook you something but i also think hed probably be banned from the kitchen because he cant cook for shit. has probably set water on fire somehow level shit. so instead you guys just sit together talking... mostly its him leading the conversation, though. doesnt leave you be until you at least give him a smile... 6.5/10 only because i dont know how to rate him here

MASKY/TIM:

oh not at all emotional. well no thats a lie but hes not very emotive. thats the more correct word. look if we're talking about masky, hes probably going to be really bad at comforting you unless your means to be comforted involves being watched... though i do think he would fall into the act of service hole.. does all the chores and such for you so you dont have to worry yourself about cleaning a pan thats been in the sink for two days now. tries his hand at cooking, but i dont think masky is the best cook.. TIM on the other hand.. but we'll get into that in a minute. probably ends in you guys ordering something but hey its the thought that counts. if someone made you upset you notice over the course of the next few weeks that person starts outright avoiding you and overall seems anxious. weird. probably unrelated! 7/10 only because im badly overworked irl and the idea of someone taking charge sounds like a dream

tim i think would be similar, but hes more expressive for you... will cook for you but if your favorite food happens to be really specific or something else, hes probably going to run out and get it. torn on whether or not he would tell you before he goes, or if he sticks to keeping it a surprise.. i think he would tell you just so it doesnt feel like hes abandoning you when youre down..! not much to be said here other than him being supportive 8/10 i would KILL for some white cheddar popcorn rn

HOODIE/BRIAN:

i think he would put you to bed. actually i think both of them would but to keep things clear im still going to divide this like masky/tims. i think hoodie is going to keep you in bed, even if youre not particularly tired. dont bother trying to fight him on it, hes only allowing you to get up for the bathroom. let him take care of things! very similar to masky, picks up on a lot of the chores. i think he can cook, though, definitely better than masky but i dont think hes like. top tier. likes making you little snacks, or food thats generally deemed as comforting (mac and cheese, cornbread, ect). doesnt talk (sign) much but will occasionally sign to you asking how you're feeling 7.5/10 love this man, so mad kid me used to sleep on hoodie

very similar, but an even better cook than hoodie so be prepared to eat good. communicates with you more than hoodie and makes small talk while cooking. i think he would keep the chat lighthearted and on a different topic rather than tackling your feelings, unless you express that you want to vent then hes all ears! not because he doesnt care more so because he doesnt want to seem prying or nosey and wants to give you the choice yourself. sometimes makes jokes about stuff in order to try to get you to smile. feels victorious when he succeeds 8/10 mad i slept on him too

TICCI TOBY:

i think he might actually be TOO strong and in your face when asking you what happened. only one who outwardly offers to krill someone if someone were to make you upset. but thats just because i think toby can occasionally get protective of you. i mean youre one of his best friends (only friends) and here you are upset! if you dont want him to do anything hes going to try to contain himself. he strikes me at the type to retreat to the roof and look up at the stars... i think he would offer to do that with you; but if youre too scared to climb then he can lay out a blanket for you so you guys can go sit on the grass! surprisingly a very good listener, though very emotionally driven and reacts a lot when you tell him the details of your day.. but its nice, i think, reassures you that hes is in fact listening.. 7/10 gives off brother vibes

JEFF THE KILLER:

ohhoho so this is an interesting one, because i like the idea of jeff still acting like an older brother every now and then even after everything. but he also has that attitude of "i dont care about anyone around me and im better than everyone".. more of an actions than words guy. he wont really say it.. you know? one of those "if he actually didnt care then he would bother giving you the time of day, much less break into your house at night with his arms full of your favorite snacks and drinks". good luck trying to vent to him though, i think its rare that he lets anyone vent to him since he also holds the "ew yucky feelings" thing ben has.. though once in a blue moon i think he would let you and give some decent advice... though every now and then that advice involves punching someone 6/10 is fair i think...

BEN DROWNED:

kind of reminds me of how younger siblings will give their older siblings know they like. kind of like the "my brother saw me crying and asked me what my favorite color is... he gave me things in that color" post/image going around that i cannot for the life of me find but i know it exists because it made me cry. i think its like that. except since hes in your phone he already knows what your interests are.. probably pulls up what your comforts and likes are in an attempt to cheer you up. i dont think he would bluntly speak with you about your feelings, but thats just because he thinks heart to hearts are yucky and cringe/lh. uses videos, art, stuff like that. ehehe silly phone ghost 7/10 because as simple as it is, if someone tossed my cc at me i would feel at least a little better for a moment and its the action itself you know?

PUPPETEER:

i thin hes similar to jeff in regard that he tries to play things off but deep down he does care, and that tends to show more through his actions... though i personally think if you were to actually cry then he might lose it a bit, because who DARE? i gotta admit, im still trying to figure out how i want to write pup and what hcs to give him, but i think.. this is an okay take.. might 'confront' anyone who made you upset, with or without your approval which might make some issues between the two of you.. more ready to let you vent to him though, might slip out some mean insults and words about whatever's got you upset regardless of its a person, chance, or object 7/10

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta imagine #slenderman x reader #slenderman x you #splendorman x reader #splendorman x you #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack x you #laughing jack x reader #laughing jack x you #masky x reader #masky x you #hoodie x reader #hoodie x you #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby x you #jeff the killer x reader #jeff the killer x you #ben drowned x reader #ben drowned x you #puppeteer x reader #puppeteer x you

[moonchildstyles]

announcement/sneak peek

ahhhhhhhhh I'm so excited to be announcing another series for you guys! imdoing this a little different in that im not quite as far written out this time as I usually am but that does open up the possibility of you guys kind of helping me mold and shape some of this story! there might be moments where something you might message me or comment that could inspire something for an upcoming part! while im a little nervous that im not as preplanned out as usual, these possibilities make me so excited!

but anywayyyyyy starting August 18th I'll start posting the new series here on Tumblr! im still working on naming it so shfhusfhsuhf but its a bodyguard h fic! y/n is a tabloid bunny/socialite who's father believes she needs more guidance in the form of a security detail and harry has been tasked w the job! I also have a Pinterest board up for it that you can take a look at if you want to get an idea of what I have in store and what kind of characters we have! below I have a sneak peek for you guys!

On my patreon rn though, there is an extended sneak peek up and the new series will begin being posted next Friday, August 5th! they will be getting early access of 2 weeks before Tumblr and will get the first chance to help me plan some of the unfinished parts of the story! if you're at all interested in taking a look at the story a bit early or what to get involved some, pleaseeeee WAIT to sign up for patreon until august 1st! that way, it'll keep you from getting charged back to back right away!

super excited to be posting this as this is the most ive posted series wise like ever so thank you guys for taking the time to read nad be supportive and yeah! thank you!

lmk if you have any questions or anything!!

—————

"Remember when we decided you wanted extra guidance, (Y/N)?" her dad asked, bleached white smile on his face, "After everything with Damien recently?" 

Ice touched her spine as she took in his sticky sweet words. She knew where this meeting was going now. 

As much as he tried to hide behind the "we" words and his fake smile, (Y/N) knew this wasn't some investor sitting beside her now. 

Harry was her new cage. 

"I remember," she offered, her own voice sounding far away. 

"Well," he continued with a flourish leaning over his desk with his elbowed propped on the wood, "Harry, here, is that guidance we were looking for.  He used to work for Camila and Monroe as their head of security, but he's agreed to be your personal bodyguard until you're back on track." He looked too proud of himself as he spoke. "He's going to take good care of you, sweetie."  

Bodyguard. 

Her personal bodyguard. 

When her father pitched this whole idea and sent her to her room like a child, she honestly figured it would be another handler he would find for her. While it wasn't ideal, she knew she could deal with a handler. She could deal with an uppity woman bossing her around from a distance; she could deal with painting a facade and adhering to her father's guidelines through a handler. 

But, a bodyguard—or personal security, as he so delicately put it—was a different story. 

Harry would be tasked with following her everywhere. He'd have access to her home, access to the person she was around her friends, who she was around her father. Downtime would no longer be a thing with Harry around—recovery and privacy being thrown out. 

Francesca had a bodyguard when they were teenagers. Though it was only over the summers when they weren't away at school, those months he was present were... odd to (Y/N). He wasn't a mean man, but he was always there. Franny wasn't as bothered as she was, but (Y/N) felt like there was no privacy—no space to talk to her best friend about anything. He was always there listening, watching, and anticipating any need for protection. She felt exposed in his presence, no secrets truly secret or downtime when someone constantly had eyes on them. 

If this arrangement was anything like that, (Y/N) didn't know if her sanity was going to survive these months. 

Despite her insides beginning to churn, her glossy-lipped smile stayed in tact with stiff cheeks. "Wow! That's amazing!" 

Her performance must have been subpar if the way her father flashed his gaze at her, a glance that hardened a little too much. She needed to be trying harder, was what he was telling her. She wasn't being perfect like he wanted. 

"I've already warned him about your history of outbursts," her father said, a stealthy jab at her, "and, we discussed everything with Damien. I think he's up for the challenge." 

It was an interesting feeling being called a "challenge" by her own father, knowing he must have shared much more degrading comments behind he back disguised as warranted advice. It was all preparation, he probably thought. A proper warning. 

She shoved that feeling down—whatever that feeling was called—and instead focused n her role. As long as she bubbled, chirped, and smiled, she could get out of this room sooner rather than later. 

"Good," she said, a breathy laugh floating out with her voice, "I'll try not to give you any surprises, then." Looking to Harry, she leaned into her persona and played along. He didn't glance at her once, keeping his gaze forward on her father as if he were watching a movie. 

"There won't be any surprises, actually, right (Y/N)?" her father said, a tad too sharp under his act. 

"Right," she settled, calming under the weight of the room. 

Silence settled over, neither she nor her father plucking up the words while Harry stayed an observing pillar. 

This was her opening. If she acted fast, she could get out of here before either of them could stop her. 

"It was really nice to meet you, Harry," she said politely, her fingers curling around the arms of her chair, "Thank you for coming to work with us. I actually have early breakfast plans with Fran tomorrow morning back in the city, so I should probably start hea—" 

"Actually," her father cut her off sharply, his eyes hardening as they landed on her, "I was hoping you would stay for dinner tonight, sweetie. After Harry and I finish ironing out his contract, I wanted to talk to you some more before he officially started with you." 

Instinctively, she wanted to fight him on this. Spending another night here less than a month after the last time she had a breakdown here wasn't on the top of her list of wants, currently. But, knowing there was someone here already expecting the worst from her, forced her to settle. If she talked back it would only reinforce everything her father probably spouted off about her earlier. 

"Okay," she smiled, standing to her feet before inching towards he door, "I'll wait in my room then and give you guys some privacy." 

While her father offered a small dismissal to her in the form of a stuff smile and a promise to call her for dinner, Harry didn't bother to look twice at her. She didn't waste a moment before she was rushing back to her room. She didn't care if they could hear the pacing of her heels over the floors, knowing she was all but running away from that room. 

After twisting the lock on her bedroom door, (Y/N) collapsed onto her bed. Her breathing was uneven, chest rising and falling a little too fast for her head to stay clear. Pinpricks of static began to dance on her palms, fingertips beginning to go numb. A hole began to develop in the pit of her stomach. 

This might be one of the last real moments of alone time for the next couple of months, and she was spending it on the verge of a panic attack. 

(Y/N) knew her dad didn't trust her, but to have someone on his payroll who's only purpose was to follow her around stung more than she was willing to admit. She wasn't a stupid child despite how much he wanted to believe that. 

#other #mine. #harry #harry styles #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing

[twistedastrology]

♋cancers and rage♋

-------------------------------------------------

i just did a workout because i had way too much energy today and now im exhausted so im gonna talk abt sumn im very passionate abt while i sit on the floor and recover 😮‍💨

- 🌙 -

a pretty big observation ive made since ive been into astrology and more specifically since ive been basically reinventing it in my head is that cancers, especially cancer risings/cancer mars, have a VERY misunderstood relationship with anger.

most people ive seen have said something along the lines of cancers are crybabies and they tend to cry when they're angry or just skip anger altogether and go to the depression side of things

personally, im a cancer rising with mars conjunct my ascendant (and ofc saturn in my 1st 💞💞) and i have NEVER found this to be the case, and other cancer risings i know don't follow those stereotypes either

- ♈ -

in my experience, imagine a combination of aries energy and capricorn energy, THAT'S what cancers embody when it comes to emotion, especially rage.

i've written an entire newsletter on this and made a whole instagram post for it over at @bluedashercrafts (they're not on tumblr yet but the link takes u to their instagram!!) so i have indeed thought very in depth about this 😮‍💨

cancers can blow up like aries, but they can hold a grudge like capricorn- and if you're me and you have saturn in your 1st (in fixed fire btw 😮‍💨), you'll lean more towards the capricorn side of things in any emotion.

i personally have a massive tendency to bottle up the pain (andrageandfearthatifeeltHEPAINANDR-) until im in a safe environment to get it out (aka being alone with my earbuds in and music blasting) OR until i can't hold it in anymore and the steam gets so high pressured that it blows the lid off the fucking pot- that's when i gotta run away and isolate myself and do a workout ASAP otherwise i will likely hurt myself because there's just So Much Energy

- ♑ -

i wanna bring a couple other examples to the table so you get a better idea of what im talkin abt here-

if you're a korn enjoyer like me, you'll know the My Gift To You - Woodstock '99 performance. well the first time i saw that and it got to the "I HATE YOU- CAN'T YOU FEEL TEH PAAIN-" part, my fucking jaw dropped and i almost cried because i could not believe that i was seeing someone else exhibit the same like- Pure Unbridled Rage that i experience all the time- the kind of visceral emotion that literally makes you flail around on stage and then bang the microphone against it like 3+ times because you're trying to come back to reality like jonathan davis was-

THAT is the level I'm talking about- that is the level that is very specific to cancer placements, specifically cancer risings and cancer mars (and his mars is in a cancer degree of scorpio, so there you go)

another more well-known example would be Markiplier! if you've seen his rage game playthroughs, you'll know he throws chairs and mouses and just generally gets pissed to an ungodly extent- he's a cancer rising with his venus and sun in cancer and his mars in leo.

- 🌓 -

cancers are NOT the signs that break down crying when they experience anger, they are the ones that feel their blood boil more than aries does.

for another good example, my best friend has his mars and venus both in aries, but he's another cancer rising- whenever he gets angry, he gets VERY angry, but he doesn't have the saturn influence that i do, so his anger is much more aries-like (short fuse, louder about it and it doesn't last as long- his is more like the classic interpretation of anger issues), whereas mine is MUCH more capricorn-like (LONG fuse, WAY quieter about it but god forbid it gets loud, and it Can last a very long time)

- 🪐 -

now you might wanna ask me "why the hell do you keep saying aries and capricorn specifically", well i just explained that im not gonna lie BUT-

cancers are very aries-like because they're the CARDINAL water sign, and cardinal signs are basically just fire-coded whatever element they are- (aries is double fire, capricorn is fire-coded earth, libra is fire-coded air, and cancer is fire-coded water)

and with aries being the fire-coded fire sign, it's essentially capricorn is aries-coded earth- THAT'S why cancers can be VERY similar to aries.

as for capricorn, cancers are the sister sign to capricorn, so they'll share similar traits despite being on opposite sides of the wheel. PLUS, where fire burns itself out very quickly, water doesn't really dry out very quickly especially if there's a lot of it.

- 🌑 -

this is really just part 1 when it comes to my reinvention of cancers- ill cover their relationship with sex as opposed to scorpios in another post because i really wanna delve more into that BUT!!!

if you want more of a well-put-together post on this, go check out the ig post and newsletter i did for blue dasher crafts!!! i also dived a little more into my personal experience with the anger and catharsis i go thru being a cancer rising/mars so!!

#astrology #cancer zodiac #markiplier #korn #astrologer #astro observations #zodiac #zodiac signs #cancer rising #mars #saturn

[shit-talk-turner]

Prev. message board anon here. Managed to dig out some old screenshots. I've copied and pasted them here as don't want to come off anon. These are mainly related to Alex and were posted by the sound engineer (I think). They're just random messages, not in any sort of order. Enjoy!

matt kinda says hi (he's half asleep, poor guy) ive managed to survive another night with the guys, and sucessfully cooked dinner. as a reward they took me to the pub...nice one

theyre more like extended family. (al's gone home, jammie's still on't playstation with my bro and matts curled up asleep in my room, he looks like a cat) FINALLY I HAVE SOME PEACE AND QUIET!!!!!!!! yay!!! *me doing a little dance in joy*

if that happened, hed prolly try n find you a chair (he's kind like that) and then hed stand there and panic about what to do.

yeah. it was bad wasnt it. got to the stage where we were all making fun, leaving little post-its with "get a haircut" written on, and generally begging him to get a haircut. he did it eventually, and now he looks hot again and less like a scarecrow. thank god!

alex update: he is wondering what to have for lunch.

no. not yet. hes having a gingerbreadman while he thinks about it.

hes gone off to find timm to find out what time were having dinner (because our schedule for the days changed). he said if he knows when dinner is, then he can make a proper decision on lunch - whether he wants a snack or a whole meal......

alex update: him n jammie are sat on the edge of the stage looking at the choice of songs theyve been given for their performance on Radio 1's Live Lounge on monday. theyre gonna do brianstorm, and they have to pick one of the four songs theyve been given to cover. theyre choosing now...

alex update: he's scurrying about looking for a cd he lost. to be honest it could be anywhere. its not very tidy at the moment.... and i think someone mentioned watching anchorman later.....

alex update: reading a book (well hes trying to, but matt keeps distracting him....) and hes trying to think what the best sandwich in teh world is (thats matts question of the day)

alex update: he's sat in't corner writing summat and on the phone. im always curious when i see him writing, cuz i automatically assume that hes writing lyrics - and then i start thinking about what he's done today to think what the song might be about and then i really, really, really want to hear how it would go......all this, and then i ask him what he's writing and he shows me that he's either doing a crossword, or writing a cd shopping list, or summat dissapointing....

alex update: seemed quite happy when we last saw him. think he's gone to change. and i think he's coming out later. not sure if he'll be out with us though. he doesnt really know mal and cookies mates. they were in the year above us at school...

alex update: he's all packed and sat on the sofa reading the article about AM in this weeks NME. by his facial expressions, i can't work out what he thinks about it..... :S

alex update: ............ there are no words to describe him today.

he's sat out in the sun with everyone, and he's the most relaxed and normal that i've seen him in soooo very long i think he's so relieved that the album did well and people like it. he just looks relaxed and, dare i say it............. HAPPY. :) he deserves it.

alex update: he's most defniatly asleep. he had a busy night last night, and last time i saw him the poor thing was asleep on his feet...

alex update - the only one of the fab four that i can see at the mo. i asked him what he's doing so i could report on it, and he said "dont just say im lying on the floor waiting for the microwave. that sounds reet boring. say 'im reclining on the carpet in a relaxed fashion, clasping a piece of toast waiting for my beans to be done , and im donning my shades in a classy way' ....yeah, that makes it sound a bit better. or do i just sound like a knobhead? okay, cut that bit out. just say....just say im eating. again. im always eating when youre typing......hmmm"

and that was all i could get from the fascinating Mr Turner, before the microwave "pinged"....

alex update: he's chilling with miles and some friends, havign a drink and watching some bands.

after the set, we all got a little bi too drunk, met up with James Ford (producer, and from simian mobile disco), james + simon (klaxons), lily allen, lovefoxx, a kook and some others (there was about 20 of us) and we wanted to go out at night to Lost Vague-ness (the most random field at glastonbury) but they didnt want to be noticed and harrassed, so we hired these random costumes. alex was a dinosaur, james was a swan, there was a chicken, a moose, me and lily were mushrooms...... was truley hilarious.

[its not really "news" but we just had a fight. a proper standing in the rain, shouting ourselves hoarse, having to be separated argument. thats the only problem with me and al, were too similar. SO stubborn, and a tendency to take things too personally and get a bit irrational. the basics, i was trying to be a good friend and tell him summat, he wasnt listening, we both said things we prolly shouldn't have, and then were taken away to calm down. it'll all be fine by the morning, thats just how we roll. but for tonight, im not gonna pretend were okay.]

the internet was once such a wild and lawless place

[ssreeder]

HELLO

I didnt see that there was an update until now and i dont feel like discording and i just read the new chapter so here i am with my few main points bc i dont feel like doing a full live reaction👍👍🫶

Seeing Jeeto come into play in any capacity at all makes me feel like a proud parent watching their children grow. Its always wonderful like those are my emotional support middle aged fictional men. I watched them go from conspiracy to getting crumbs to now their "dates" and gossiping together. Youve gotta love it. Those are my children. Im so proud of them. But im also scared because you killed shen so obviously my feeligns mean nothing to you 🙄😒😒. (Im never going to get over that, im going to be 80 years old in some pst apocolypic enviroment with horrors all around me, but im going to be having nightmares about shen. Ill send you my therapy bill) (im going to get a tattoo in his memory istg)

Also its always really subtle but its funny to see your specific linguistical patterns in liab esp because i can never really explain it. Like ill read a random sentence and be like 'yeah that seems like sreeder wrote it' i just think its neat.

I also really loved zukka this chapter. But i always lovr zukka so its not a surprise. But espesially this chapter because its mostly soft zukka.

"Do you think we will stay together" NO Zukko divorce 🔫🔫. 🙅🏻🔥🔥🔥🙅🏾

The 'moving forward' ness of zukka in liab is so nicely written. Like ive been reading liab since (almost) the beginning and it has been a ride and its starting to feel more conclusive and that is SCARY but its also nice because you write it very well and i adore the way you write trauma and the healing of it and the ups and downs and the two steps forward two steps backness. Its very lovely.

I knew ara was going to have a suicide attempt (esque situation (idk if that counts)) i called it i win.

Idc what others say ara will always be amazing. I love her character SO MUCH

i feel like you can always tell the strengths of a writer in the way they write complicated characters and the way you write ara is very telling of that. Like the fragility and also harshness used for her is very realistic and i always enjoy her parts so much.

Like her deciding to move on independant of how zuko or sokka feel about it is and regardless of whether people thinks she 'deserves it' is immaculate.

And thats a good example on your specific strengths as the author of liab (being able to handle delicate situations well, and realistically and make them very thought out and not rushed, stuff like that).

But her 'i need to start getting along with other girls' is great because like,, RHATS SO TRUE. she is genuienlly one of my favorite characters of all time, i could write essays on why i love her. Exquisite.

REHO MENTION 🥳🥳💪💪💪💪

Thats my emotional support woobified early 20 something year old man. I adore him. If 30 people love reho i am one of them, if one person loves reho i am them if 0 people love reho i am dead (rip rehoes 😔) i will defend his (and aras) good names until i die.

Amazing chapter as always 10/10 *chefs kiss* im so excited for the series to finish and see what you do with everyone and the rest of the storylines and such.

Every time I think of Shen’s death I think of your utter devastation & how I wasn’t expecting you to be so distraught over it. I will say I had another commenter lately who was talking about how much they liked Shen & wanted an Iroh/Shen/Zuko dynamic and I kept thinking…. Damn it buddy, you’re going to be soooo mad at me in a few chapter haha…. oops.

ugh my linguistic patterns haunt me and I specifically ask my betas to check for them because I feel sooooo repetitive sometimes especially when there’s a lot of introspection lol. So it’s funny you mentioned that lol.

Omg I remember when I was still on RIA & someone in the server was like “dude I’m rooting for some jeeto.” & I was like oh no how do they know??? I created this fun divide between hakoda and bato just to push Bato into Jees arm!! Don’t spoil it haha, but whatever at least Dentys dead

Awwww thanks for the compliments it means a lot coming from you <3 but also yeah Ara is my delicate dumpster fire who says she going to make her existence everyone’s problem (most importantly sokka because damn girl could just LEAVE but she refuses lol) I love it. She’s fun, and any scene with her expect utter chaos haha.

every time I write Reho in a scene my mind says and the crowd goes wild,,, he’s annoying but I’m glad you like him.

thanks for this amazing ask you’re awesome

#Haha maxxxxx you’re so funny #I am forever a fan of Ara and her ability to harass sokka while constantly saying she’s not going to harass sokka #Zuko: “I just…. Never want to see you again” #Ara: got it ok so I’ll go make friends with sokkas sister and hangout with the water tribe healers and suki and - #No wonder sokka starts foaming at the mouth every time he sees her #I still don’t think zuko has nearly as big of a problem with Ara as sokka does #I truly think she’s just “that bitch from prison” #& sokkas got like 43 fake scenarios saved in his head of how things could have been different or how he would get his revenge #Anywayyyyyy I like Ara she’s fun #& Katara deserves to have some fun! #Thanks for the ask max sorry it took me so long to answer I’m a loser I have no excuses #LIAB #leaving it all behind #ITF #ask #Maaaxx

[altschmerzes]

Im like. Seething in rage about that episode lol. Like five episodes ago we have jamie detailing a story of james sanctioning him being sexual assaulted (because that’s what it was!!!!!!!!!!! james could literally be convicted of sexual abuse) and now we have the show saying “well actually jamie should forgive his dad and he should explicitly reach out to him and invite him back into his life” like????? I believe in forgiveness but there are limits. And those limits are important.

yeah literally, everything about jamie’s dad in that episode was nothing short of infuriating and extremely painful to watch. like yeah, the violent asshole who arranged for his fourteen year old to be assaulted is exactly who we should be pushing the Forgive Them <3 For YOU <3 shit with, i guess. as if it’s a universal truth that forgiving someone who profoundly harmed you is healthy for every single person ever. especially still actively in the midst of a pretty serious trauma-induced mental health episode.

like that’s what gets me about this - or a couple of things that do ig. we get an (absolutely infuriating) ‘feel good’ shot of james in rehab smiling and proud or whatever watching the match but he has not said fuck-all to jamie. he has not made any kind of effort to apologize or take accountability for everything he did. what they showed jamie doing, reaching out like that? that’s extremely dangerous for him to be doing with no information about how it’s gonna go especially given the last time they interacted went the way it did. i KNOW that because ive BEEN THERE and it’s shit like this being the only narrative society at large will endorse that led me to being there and it fucked me up worse than id already been by an order of magnitude.

forgiveness is for YOU <3 is not a one size fits all maxim. sometimes it hurts people to do that. especially when they’re doing it because they’ve been told that’s the only way to be healthy or free or whatever. sometimes forgiving someone is dangerous and toxic and harmful. and there’s nothing showing THAT story. it’s all this one. it’s all ‘everyone’s needs are exactly the same and they’re ‘forgive your abuser, no it doesn’t matter if they’ve done anything to demonstrate they understand or regret what they did, after all it’s for YOU! no i will not be asking if that’s what you need or doing any work to verify that, just blanket prescribing it and this will be portrayed as the correct and good thing to do.’

it’s not that i think it’s inherently wrong to show someone wanting a relationship with an abusive parent as an adult. i still talk to two of mine, not that i have much of a choice, and i get that it’s very complicated and everyone has the right to make those choices for themselves. but once again i'm at the place of like, characters are not human people making complex decisions for their own reasons, they are narrative figures that are being written by writers making choices, and writers do not ever make a different choice with that narrative and it is blatantly transparent to me that this is largely because society at large does not give one fuck about abuse victims and is stuck in the perspective of the parent and going ‘what makes a good, happy ending here? oh i know! if this person gets their kid back and improves their life <3’ no thought at all as to what a happy ending for the abused adult child might be, or if that’s even a safe situation, which it often is not.

just. disappointing and hurtful and awful but not at all surprising. i keep seeing people expressing surprise that the show would extend its radical forgiveness and second chance approach to james sr of all people and without a fucking minute of work for it because apparently we lost sight of ‘accountability’ somewhere along that road, but i wasn’t surprised at all. because every show does this. every single one, every single time. abused children do not GET the luxury of walking away from their abusers, or saying fuck it, no forgiveness, that’s NOT what i need actually. and characters choosing to reconcile or forgive wouldn’t be nearly as troubling and upsetting to me as a survivor who got pressured by people in my life and by society at large to trying to do that and suffering a lot more for it if there was literally any depiction of other choices existing and being healthy and permitted.

combining the stuff with james in the same episode with the stuff with beard and nate and with ted and his mom was irresponsible, messy storytelling at best. these things are not the same and they are not comparable. people are complicated, and so are parents, and we deserve grace and understanding but abuse changes that equation significantly and that is a hill im going to die on every time.

#gav gab #gav answers #sorry this is so long lmao I have thoughts. on this. #this was an irresponsible and harmful and deeply hurtful and upsetting choice for that narrative #and it hurt me a lot to watch #especially because it was just. tossed in there with no thought or gravity #just oh yeah obviously! #man. there were some really great parts of that episode but fuck that shit so much #they did jamie dirty in that ep. again. #this show does not do abuse justice at this point #ted lasso spoilers #abuse cw #long post #rape mention #csa mention

[eldritchmochi]

Word prompt for the letters! SWORD TIME

mina pls that is so many letters lmao

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

okay, if it is not obvious, i have thought SO MUCH about disability in exandria, so heres a general worldbuilding headcannon vs character based hc but it's shown that disability isn't overly impactful in exandria. basically everything we've seen ranging from pcs like shakaste to big npcs like dancer and also smaller one off pcs like the moorbounder dealer in the city of beasts, whatever the name is, they're fully functional within society despite major physical disabilities and theres functionally not a whole lot of ableism at a surface level when it comes to worldbuilding (thanks matt).

however..... its not hard (for me) to extrapolate how the dynasty in particular would have a not great view on disability (thank u cherry for putting it into words as i was charlie day-ing over coping skills early on). it's not something that i talk about explicitly in coping skills (and may not since it would be really info dumpy and not vibe with the way i write or characterize the wizards lmao) but it's something ive spent a great deal of time thinking thru for the dang fic and my in-head notes are basically a) in a modern setting like coping skills, the healthcare situation moves at a glacial pace partly because elves live forever so what is a several year wait for a non emergent specialist issue and b) major disabilities, things that impact daily living to a significant degree that cannot be "fixed" with magic, are at best really only tolerated until anamnesis or consecution so the body can be reset into a more perfect form

i could wax poetic about the nitty gritty as it relates to coping skills specifically, but that is like, the base premise of 90% of the fic lmao

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

okay so, heres the thing: with the exception of a few squicks, if something is well written with some fukken *heart* i will eat up just about anything. theres some tropes i don't really get myself and haven't found anything with it that's interested me, like hanahaki, but i have fav fics involving things i notoriously avoid, like kid fic and hs aus. like legitimately, my absolute fav fic is a non explicit hs au, which considering i basically dont read non explicit fics OR hs aus is fucking wild

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

lets see, i did one here for an ashrym fic, and one here for general shadowgast so lets go with a single character, and a delightfully weird song for her

obviously imogen, again, because its funny. do not ask me why spotify recommended this german edm country album to me a bit ago but i listened to the whole thing and it fucking slapped, and this song immediately went on my hells playlist

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

I AM ONLY DOING ONE BECAUSE I DONT TRUST YOU MINA (ilu but also damn many letters lmao)

but callowmoore is just chefs kiss. i don't see anything necessarily romantic between them but i love the idea of the two of them bonding over being absolute gremlins. ashton definitely needs a charismatic wingman and fearne definitely needs someone who has (some level of) smarts re Doing Crimes, so the two of them playing off each other is just delightful and i love how soft they are with each other in cannon and in turn all the fanart (especially the forehead kiss???? im still not normal about that)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

hmmmmmmmmmmm okay i guess maybe reylo? the rots kiss was absolute garbage rey deserves better BUT i am in theory into her domming the shit out of him but reylo shippers as a whole soured me on the ship and now i just hhhh no thank you, even from authors i trust to write it in a way i'd enjoy :C

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

T answered here! (basically no lmao)

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

homestuck :I like part of it was definitely the Fandom Cycle of falling out if interest with something, especially once there stopped being new cannon i could access but a bigger part of it was seeing all my fav artists and writers in the fandoms, particularly the ones 30+, PARTICULARLY Black artist, being absolutely shat on by kids for the crime of... being adults in fandom spaces basically, or otherwise creating fanworks that featured non-white, non-thin depictions of the characters. i live vicariously thru @/roundandtalented when they spam share hs art because i still love those characters but yeesh ye olde tumblr hs fandom got VERY toxic

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

answered once here with ashton and here with astarion so i guess i gotta keep the train going with "a" name characters

hmmmmmmmmmm

okay lets say abby from ncis (i have watched Many crime procedurals lmao). i imagine she and i would be GREAT fashion buddies, especially when i'm bubblegum pop kawaii to her scary goth. we could swap tips on breaking in big stompy boots and all the best places for cute clothes, and i think we're fairly close in size too so could even SWAP gasp The Dream

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

god i do not know if fandom as a whole has picked up on any of the various things i've built in my fics but tbh i think its absolutely hilarious how i inevitably write a porn/camming au for like every fandom i write multiple fics for. it happens, every single time. EVERY TIME. in fact, mine and cherry's sg camming au started with me lampshading this trend i have, laughing about how FINALLY here was a fandom where i couldn't write camming and make it work, except whoops i thought too hard on it and made it work. this occurred over the course of like..... a single evening. i had the basic outline sketched out within twenty minutes of me being like "theres no way i could write camming into critical role, NO WAY" i am not even exaggerating

so i guess maybe my hilarious contribution to critical role is the contemporary magical setting proof-of-concept???? cherry did say there werent really that many at the time i asked because i lov me some modern aus

there are maybe some letters left idk at this point lmao but here is the meme for those of u who made it thru all that

#mochi rambles #mochi asks #haveievermentioned

[mariesid]

Mr. villan

What were u thinking? You sighed walking up to his apartment complex. He was tall, with wavy brown hair, cute elf like ears poking out of the sides of his head. His hair covered his eyes so you couldn't see his eyes but he had a soft demeanor, maybe his eyes were soft as well? His nose was long and pointed and his mouth was always in a calm frown. His shoulders were broad, body slender with long legs. He seemed so upset over some panda designed latte? Before you could stop yourself you offered to help him make it at home. Now your here, in his apartment, making panda froth. Today you went with a knee high sundress with a red sweater. You had a lot of scars on your back which made you vary self conscious. You never went out without covering your back with some kind of fabric. You had gotten hot and decided to drape the sweater on your shoulders. “It's ok to take your sweater off,” his voice was so soothing. You decided to be truthful about it, “iv had bad experiences with others seeing my back.” His head tilted, you could tell he was trying to read you. You sighed knowing his curiosity had the better of him. “Don't say I didn't warn you.” You turned from his sight, the idea of a look of disgust or pitty scared you. You removed it revealing the whip marks going down your shoulders. It was quiet before you heard crunching noises. You looked at him. Rage, pure rage was written all over his face as he grinded his teeth. That was a new one you thought. Then you recognized him, his group called him General, the news called him pure evil. You weren't scared, calm rushed over you. “Who did that to you!? I'll end this world right now!” “We just finished making the latte, your panda will be melted if end the world before drinking it,” you stated. He paused, took the latt, sat on the couch, and drank it slowly. You guessed the world was saved? You drink yours in silence for a minute or two. “What's the culture like on your planet?” He seemed startled by your question, “what do you mean?” “Is it religious? Do people get married? What's the food like? Is there dating or do you just get a partner?” The two of you dove deep into how his and your worlds worked. By the time you two had discussed the basics it was dark out. “So a girlfriend or boyfriend is someone you are romantically involved in,” you explained. “A wife or husband is a contract, doesn't have to be romantic, and a friend with benefits is someone you don't have romantic feelings for but have sex with.” he seemed puzzled, “so what are we?” “Acquaintance, which is someone you recently met or just a friend, there's no romance involved in either.” There was a pause as everything sunk in. “Interesting,” he sighed, “how do I get a friends with benefits?” “well you can take your pick, just ask, tho I wouldn't recommend taking off your shirt. Those purple scars are a dead giveaway.” “the problem is, I don't know if I'm compatible with any human.” This peaked your interest. Was it scaley? Small? Pencil like? “Humans can adapt, I'm sure it's fine.” He stared at you, now realizing he was hinting, you decided to just say it. “im interested if you are,” you smirked. “Can you follow orders,” it was a question, but it definitely had a period at the end. You leaned a little closer to him, “only yours.” “strip, slowly,” he growled in your ear.

You got up from the couch, stroking his muscular arm as you strutted in front of the TV. You turned around allowing a strap to fall down, revealing the back of your lacy black bra. Slowly you turned so he could see the front of you as you hold the bottom of the dress, revealing the bra completely. You couldn't read him as he leaned forward, showing his lean shoulders. He seemed to enjoy the way u twisted your hips, Allowing the skirt to finally fall to your feet. You were about to take off your bra when he got up. He seemed to look over your body. The big claw mark going down your shoulder, the bite mark on your side, all the whipping scars on your back. A stab wound near your gut. He gently traced his finger over each one. His touch had your core heating. You tried to be still. The sound of a buckle had you turning your head. He pulled his cock out for you to look it. It wasnt girthy but long, longer then you thought. the tip was rounded like a needle but filled in and smoother. There were small scales on one side going down and what looked like a knot before you got to the bottom. You desperately wanted him to fill you up, but which hole first? You instantly.plopped on your knees. Your lick his top before slowly suckiimg. You felt the scales as he inched down your throat. His hand grabbed your head, knowing that he could kill you in an instant made your walls quiver. You worked on memorizing each small scale on your way down. Your throat felt so full as tears formed in your eyes. Your sopping folds pleading for some kind of friction as a groan escaped his lips. He pulled you back, releasing his hardened member from your mouth. He made you stare into his eyes. A chill went down your spine seeing him so irritated, almost angry, and definitely full of desire. “Lay down,” he commanded. You flopped on your back without a second thought. Your wettened panties on display for him.

He grinded his teeth as he ripped the small fabric from you. The heat your core felt was getting unbearable. His middle finger grazed your lips, gently moving between your folds and bundle of nerves. Your hands ball into fests and your jaw clenches at his small touch. His amber eyes watching you, that won't due, he thought as he slipped a finger inside you. Your walls instantly clenched, wanting more as he slowly explored. Feeling every texture in you. Whimpers escaped your lips and finally a small jolt when he found your g spot. “That hurt,” he asked flatly. “N-no,” you moaned, “the opposite.” Your head shot back when he inserted another finger. His fingers were bigger then you thought. Your body twitched when he slowly started scissoring you. You weren't sure if he was teasing you. “Are you sure you can handle it,” he asked you one last time, removing his finger. The emptiness made you want him even more. You spread your legs as wide as you could, “yes.” you needed him. He slithered on top of you, giving you time to kick his pants and boxers off. Gently you took off his turtle neck, admiring his purple scars, tracing them gently with your finger. He watched as you looked over his chiseled body. His body towered over yours as he pinned your hands above your head with one of his hands. Then placing his member at your entrance. He was gentle as he slid the needle head into you. A moan escaped your lips as he so delicately filled you to the knot. You know the next part was going to hurt, he was already just about killing your cervix. With his loose hand he covered your mouth. He didn't move, but somehow his member thrusted deeper inside you. The knot finally entering your tight hole. It hurt, but only for a few seconds. Your body tensed around him as you tried relaxing. “Fuck,” he sighed. He was right to cover your mouth, it was the only thing keeping you from screaming. You finally signed looking deep into his eyes. He removed his hand as his member slowly thrusted in you. That not was driving you crazy. You wanted more, you needed more. Your body was building up to something. Your voice squeaked, “harder.” He paused thinking he heard you wrong before he smirked letting go of your hands. The needle point felt like it was rearranging your insides as that not stretched you out. You bit your lip trying desperately not to scream for him, to wake the neighbors, anything really. You felt your body tense as you held onto those muscular arms for dear life. Your vision blurred as your walls fluttered around him. He was grunting with each clasp while your body let go of whatever tension was there. Your cunt pouring juices as you finally lost all.controle. When your vision comes back he had such a wicked smile on him, “I thought for sure I had killed you.”

#mr. villain's day off #smut

[effervescentdragon]

i agree that you seem great for fic recs so I wondered if you have any nico r fic recs? i’d really like to see him as more than just a background character as Lewis’ toxic ex <3

hi anon! thank you so much for this ask, i was gonna do it yday but i was way too drained, so thank you for waiting! i do have some nico fic recs, coming under the cut! as usual, mind the ratings and warnings yourself, bcs i'm mostly providing my own feedback and feelings about these fics! :) i'm picking the ones that stayed in my mind pretty much rent free. <3

-

again, first, ultimate, absolute winner about characterisation in my eyes is @kritischetheologie and Everybody Wants To Rule The World. it's the fic that made me completely unhinged, one of the best, morally grey, insanely well written fics out there, which i adore with my whole heart. it's a Seb/Nico, which i was very sceptical about, but damn was i proven wrong! some of the best, most in-depth characterisation and understanding of subject matter i've ever seen in my life. C's blog is also generally a well of Nico content, with musings and writings, and i have been getting my Nico fix there for quite some time now. it helps that C is very much Nico-like and i love her for it <3

kelogg's frosties & video games by @georgerussells - brocedes my beloved, alt '22 season, absolutely insanely well written (all of their fics are, ive read ALL of them, i should do it again). i love how nico is here, it's all told from lewis' pov but its raw, and just so in character, and wonderful. its the first brocedes fic i found and one of the reasons i fell down the rabbit hole. i adore it and rec it with my whole heart <3 (check out their crown series and the yt au series, i love those!)

high speed weekend survivor by @denialricciardo - nico/danny ric. may be one of my all time favorites, EVER. its an university au, and it's perfect. like, absolutely perfectly written, the author manages to literally effortlessly paint nico's character and all the little nuances, the technical talk is fascinating, everything about this fic just makes me so, so happy. i love it. <3

the torture of small talk with someone you used to love by finedae is a nico-focused fic ive read like 3 days ago and can't stop thinking about. i promised to leave them a comment soon when i get my brain right, but what i can say is that its. effortlessly funny and tragic in the same breath, lovely writing style, absolutely adore everything about it, how much they show despite it seeming to be just tell, it really isnt. peak characterisation. wholehearted rec. i love it. <3

the weight of the world we are holding by fadeoutslow is a 5+1 kisses fic with jenson/nico endgame that i think very much manages to perfectly encapsulate the characters of every single one person mentioned despite being so short (this is me wishing for more not a criticism) which is so fucking admirable. i love it. also, the world is changed because you are made is peak perfection (as is nico's ass, that's all im gonna say). :)

hot as hell by vandoorne is one of the hottest things i've ever read, and it's so effortlessly funny and just manages to get both nicos and jensons characters through. i love it very, very much. it's a witch/succubi&incubi au btw, so mind that :)

Roseberg's vs Haminkton by dearest @jean----ralphio is a florist/coffee shop au that made me laugh out loud when i thought i was never going to laugh (dramatic, i know), and something i re-read whenever i just want to feel warm around my heart and be happy. (thank you for that again friend!) <333

and finally, I'm going to put my own fic here - Vielleicht, Vielleicht. a jenson/nico angst fest (which is getting a sequel from nico's pov due to popular demand and me being incapable of shutting up sometime soon i think) about their relationship throughout the years, non-linearly. because i can :)

thank you for asking, i hope these help and that you like them!

#idk how to tag this #akira answers asks #akiras rpf fic rec masterlist #its about nico r this time #princess cake #jenson x nico #sico #brocedes #daniel x nico r #fic ref #f1 rpf #anon asks #nico r

[imjustli]

so ive been thinking a lot about God and like my christianity and everything and i've decided perhaps it'll do me good to get the perspective of someone else who's also christian ?

yeah . so there's no doubt in my mind that God exists honestly. i really do think he's up there. it's just that im not sure about a couple of stuff

like with job in the old testament. that dude was like the Ultimate follower of God. sooooo good at following all the commandments and everything. he loved God with everything he had

and then as a test God decides to allow the devil take it all away. just to see what job does. & satan takes all his money his animals his health. he even kills off his kids (all of which God authorized)

and yeah job is faithful to the very fucking end and gets everything back (twofold ? tenfold ? can't remember which)

he even gets new children. which is where my main problem is with the story tbh

what about his old children ? did God not consider the fact that job might miss them a whole fucking lot ? that he might not want new children just his old ones ? and they died all because of a test of job's unwavering faithfulness . which God only engaged in to prove the devil wrong

why'd he do that anyway ? he's God . he knows the devil was wrong he coulda just ignored him ?? instead of letting him kill some innocent children for the sake of a test he already knew job was going to pass with flying fucking colors

like with abraham and isaac the kid was never gonna die and that was a test of Abraham's faith and like obedience but with job there was no hesitation

i feel dirty even questioning this rn bc im not supposed to have questions or opinions im just supposed to take everything as it is but i don't think i can do that

& i can ask this and people go "it's the old testament it doesn't matter" but then you have ananias and sapphira who died the fucking minute they lied and that's in the new testament . and that isn't exactly rampant in like present day but it is kinda scary

plus my mother's church always brings up 2 timothy 3:15-17 so like All scripture is still useful and applicable even the fucked up parts of the old testament that say to kill people for the littlest fucking things (not that they go through with it but y'know)

im not 100% sure what im asking here . i guess job's story (plus a million more in the bible) unnerve me. if someone as god-fearing as he was still gets subjected to all the shit he did just for a fucking test then what about the rest of us ? if i follow God's word to a T and he decides to test me by taking away people that matter so fucking much to me then am i supposed to be okay with that ??

all this stuff just makes it kinda hard for me to pray the way i used to y'know ? or to pray at all. it fucking sucks

I'll give this a go, but I was raised mostly atheist, and aside from choir and confirmation, my current university bible study group is the only christian stuff I've actually been involved in. So full disclosure, I have no idea what I'm doing. But I feel God's presence and i know Him about as well as I can as of now.

So first of all, there's 4 things I try to keep in mind when reading the bible:

The bible wasn't written by God, it was written by humans about their experiences with God

That was a really fucking long time ago

As such, the way my university priest put it, each passage should be read as part of the whole, rather than each sentance as exactly, verbatim, the word of God

Also, christianity/the bible/any at some point popular faith really, has often been used by powerful people as a tool to maintain/gain power, and that has caused alteration to the bible

I don't personally think that just going along with everything that happens to you as "God's plan" and never questioning it, is sustainable. Like yeah sure the bible says not to test God, but like. As stated previously, the bible has been used to keep people submitting to authority, so from an earthly source critical perspective, it should probably be questioned how much of this actually was in there from the beginning. And just in general being completely trusting can be dangerous, and sure God would have some understanding of that. He created us after all.

Not to mention, everyone probably has a very different relationship with God (like we've had an insane amount of wars over what relationship is the right one, but the answer is probably most of them), and those are deeply personal and connected to the specific circumstances of each person's experiences and understanding of themselves.

I doubt that was the reason Job got what happened to him, but I guess being a little to easy could be an option lol.

To be honest, there also are parts of the bible I just don't agree with politically, and the way children are often seen as accessories to the "main character" of a certain part is definitely one of them. I'm not sure there is any positive interpretation of this honestly, aside that it might just be a testament of the time. Though it's often still like that now, so idk.

Another option for why all of this happened to him, is that he simply deserved it. Like yeah sure, he is To be honest, there also are parts of the bible I just don't agree with politically, and the way children are often seen as accessories to the "main character" of a certain part is definitely one of them. I'm not sure there is any positive interpretation of this honestly, aside that it might just be a testament of the time. Though it's often still like that now, so idk.

Another option for why all of this happened to him, is that he simply deserved it. Like yeah sure, he is supposedly God's most loyal follower, but we never actually see that. It is written that he sacrifices a lamb for his children, etc, does all these rituals. But it's not really written why he actually deserves to have his prayers answered (full disclosure, while I was aware of the story, I've never actually read it. So I had a lot of homework to do for this post. I'll get to some of it further down, but I might've missed some).

I'm not sure I fully believe you need to earn God's love, or even His protection, but that is definitely an option. But what that means is that it's possible that the reason Job was tested, was to see if he would still be loyal if he didn't have everything he could want.

Also (NIV) Job 11:4, Zophar says to Job: "You say to God, 'My beliefs are flawless and I am pure to your sight'" [my swedish bible (B2000) says moreso something like: "You think you bring the truth, and that you are flawless in front of God". Which is another reason why each Bible verse can't be read verbatim. Since although those two says similar things, they are not synonymous]. And NIV Job 11:6: "and disclose to you the secrets of wisdom, for true wisdom has two sides. Know this: God has even forgotten some of your sin." [B2000: "He could reveal the hidden depth of wisdom -- there is wisdom in double measurements. Then you'd understand God doesn't demand all your debt."] These are both indicative of Job not actually being as good as he is portrayed, suggesting he kinda brought all his misery on himself (or at least some of it). Elihu also says something similar in chapters 33-37.

In Job 31, he talks a lot about why he doesn't deserve everything the devil did to him, but it feels kinda... idk. Less? Considering he starts of chapter 30 by talking about the people he disregards. Like he clearly truly believes he is in the right, but there's several chapters explaining why he's not.

I'm not sure where I heard this, but I remeber being told that the devil was originally just a personification of the greed and selfishness humans experience. But if that's who the devil is, it further suggests he let his greed (or judging by Job 38-39, it was moreso his hubris and self-centerdness) control him, and that's why he lost everything.

Yeah, the ending doesn't really sit right with me either. I guess he realised his mistakes and passed the test, and therefor deserved it all back. But like you said, the thing about his kids dying and him getting new ones doesn't really feel right. Human connection can be recreated but it will not be fully the same. I really don't have an answer for why this happened, other than that it's a really old story. I also wish we'd actually find out he'd learned.

I don't know if this makes sense, or if it's even what you were asking. I'm still learning what it actually means to be christian, at the moment i just have a vague feeling of a higher presence and a barely read bible, so I have a lot left to figure out.

To my followers and mutuals that have done the entire christian-thing for longer: do you have anything you'd like to add? Feel free to disagree with me completely

#i actually did quite enjoy the reading and thinking. even though im not entirely sure what im doing #and im in the process of changing how i read and interpret the bible. because how i used to do it was not very good #like i might not have a very good interpretation but it was fun to try to work it out #also might i suggest you listen to some mysic by semler? they are very good at depicting complicated feelings about christianity #and also their music is just very good

[antimony-medusa]

IM BACK i love your opinion on ships (sorry if youve already gotten any of these)

QSMP quackity and slimesicle

benchtrio (how could i have yet to do this!!!)

and emduo if you havent gotten them yet! (i didnt send it before because i assumed someone would seeing as you are The EmDuo Blogger in my heart, but i dont think ive seen you answer it)

Quacksicle!

I have seen people make very compelling arguments for this one and I respect it greatly, but I have a hard time spinning it up mentally personally? I can see it, but I just haven’t written Quackity that way very often. Still waiting for that one fic to convince me. :D

Benchtrio!

Ohhhh benchtrio. This is one where like, there’s the canon dynamic, and then there’s like four different fanon dynamics, and my feelings on them vary a lot. I feel like in canon they went through some really traumatizing stuff so young, and there’s no way for that not to leave a mark in you. The people you went though hell with at seventeen will be with you for the rest of your life, even if you don’t speak. And like, as a group in canon, I see them more as like a set of three duos rather than one trio.

In fanon though, sky’s the limit, I have very much been convinced in some fan works that they are each other’s GUYS all as a group. I think they should be the trio of roommates that live down the hall that got a couch stuck in the staircase and you know two of them are dating but you’re never one hundred percent sure which two are the ones dating, because they all have something more strange and terrible than simple romance going on. They’re blowing up buildings. They’re committing marriage fraud. They did terrible science in the bathroom. They adopted a very cute hairless cat. They’re on the run from the cops. They killed a man. They’re living their best lives.

Emduo oh my emduo.

I could go to other fandoms but they don’t have emduo so I guess I’m stuck here for life. My GUY, my guys, my favourite guys. I’m so normal about them. This is a thing where I respect everybody’s right to headcanon and dynamic as they wish, but also prevailing fanon makes me cry and sob and throw up, because I have done my due diligence and put in the work and like 99.5% of the time you cannot convince me of these guys as a father-son pair. Some people have pulled it off, but as a general rule, I’m just not clicking through on the fic any more because I’m just there weeping about where my BROS where my BATTLE BUDDIES are at. So, y’know, finding fan content is a trifle difficult for me. But the good thing is I just get to write them myself, so I can just keep doing that and I’m happy.

I have been variously convinced of them in various different non-family dynamics— I think someone described this duo as a Swiss Army knife of relationships? No matter the situation, you can put an Emduo there! Like, QPRs tending romantic, QPRs tending platonic, Epic Friends, Work Buddies, Morails, Romantic, Respected Enemies: I’m good with the whole spectrum there as long as you can convince me that they’re important to each other (and that they’re not related). But, y’know, as long as you make Techno funny and Phil swear I’m probably there anyways. Ueueueueueueueue. I need to go write them again actually right now.

Ship Bingo Ask Game

#dsmpshipping #ask #ask game

[malevolententity]

hrmgmgm 4ever situ thoughts

this will probably get messy and personal because that Really informs how i feel and i need to expel it from my body LMAO

i still dont know how i feel. or well. i know how i feel but its nuanced and conflicted and im mad that i cant concisely say how i feel. we Know the initial information didnt come out in good faith. we Know that the girls involved were not asked how they felt prior to the callouts. we also can see from current actions that this doesnt happen anymore. that it doesnt represent who he is as a person in recent years.

and i fully believe that people are able to change and grow from past wrong actions. regardless of if those actions were just wrong jokes or Literal Actions.

this cycle never gets easier. ive been on both sides e.g. being like one of the girls. but also being one of the ccs. so i get their no nuance just anger. because m still mad as hell about ike/ciel. as someone who was good friends with him. but also was the same age as his victims and very easily could be considered one by some people. shout out to being two people removed from ironmouse though 🤪.

but ive also like. been in the girls situation. you dig back 11/12 years on here. theres Going to be evidence of 22 year olds with thousands of followers flirting with 13/14 year old me. some of whom were harmless friends making weird tasteless no intent jokes. and some of whom were genuine pedophiles that either were complete strangers or people i knew in real life and called friends. and id be fucking pissed if any of those were taken out of or even in context without my permission. because its my story. if anyones going to be talking about it it should only ever be because i decided i wanted it to be talked about. not some random person having a vendetta against people i used to talk to and finding and using bits of my story as a way to defame someone whos recent actions do not line up with the deplorable actions of them in 20 fucking 12.

and so i cant help but have 800 fucking emotions. because what we know about is gross. but i dont believe he should be fully deplatformed over shit he hasnt done in 5-7 years. and that is absolutely fueled by my emotions because as far as we know. the girls did not ask for him to be deplatformed. the girls stories are being spread without their input to ruin a guys life. and i would feel violated if i was used as evidence by strangers against my will.

but maybe thats just the victim brain in me who will always feel the need to shield some of the guys from my past because its complicated and messy and humans are complicated and messy. and im just projecting. because i have been in those girls position. a few times.

and thats why ive been mostly silent through this whole thing. because i am a Hashtag Bad Victim and no one wants to hear from the people who think were being too hasty and think information should come from the people involved. not twitter sleuths who really fucking hate a cc.

that said for people who need to see it written out. im not supporting him with views on future videos. i still enjoy 4ever as a character. i will still probably reblog 4ever art every now and then, because ive also gone thru this in a dnd fandom where one guy turned out to be a shitter but i still enjoyed his character so i will engage with the character when i feel like it. because that character is not the streamer.

this whole situation just feels bad and unfair to absolutely everyone involved. no one here is winning. celebrating his removal is weird. because the removal means something Did happen and thats horrible. and watching this turn into a spectacle to see who unfollows next/what the next announcement is, is disgusting. this isnt a game and it feels like some of you are treating it that way. these are real lives, these are real people.

side tangent.

i really fucking cant stand everyone whos been comparing this to the dream situations. because every single dream situation has come from victims or people posing as victims. so of course. listen to them and do your own research but believe them from the get go. THIS THOUGH????? WAS ADMITTEDLY UNRELATED PEOPLE WHO HATED A GUY, WHO FOR MONTHS HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING TO DEPLATFORM HIM. AND FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING THAT WAS ACTIONABLE. of course some of us were going to hold off on forming thoughts and were gonna be skeptical of where the information came from because it was not victims coming forward.

its two different fucking situations and acting like theyre the same is insane to me.

[cheolhub]

NO CAUSE IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR WHEN THEY'RE MEAN

but imagine the aftermath, like you would not know how to fucking act after that and it throws you off your game and he wins the next race and !!!

you're so mad. you're so angry he got to your head that much. and he's so fucking smug about it. but of course, it can only go one way at this point, and at the end of the day you end up in his bed again bc what else are you even supposed to do?

AND HE'D BE SO MEAN ABT IT, all "can't believe you're here begging for my cock again. shouldn't you be out training? or are you just that much of a cockhungry slut?"

and it continues like that. it doesn't even matter who wins or who loses anymore, bc the outcome is the same anyways - you crying on his cock, you on your knees for him, you taking whatever he wants to give you. and you know that if this came out it could ruin your career, but you just can't stop.

(okay but spinning off of that earlier ask. what if you're in a crash, maybe it's one if the last races of the season, and he's THE FIRST ONE THERE bc holy shit he got so worried. like he always worries when someone crashes bc this shit is dangerous, but it's different now, and he doesn't quite want to think about what it means yet. (he's a little less mean the next time, not bc he's gotten soft or anything, he swears)) - ☁️

UR SUCH A FUCKING MENACE LIKE IM GONNA RIP MY HAIR OUT. it’s 1 am so that means this is going to be hot shit (the bad kind 😹) ok but seriously if i dont make sense or it reads bad, im so sorry, ive written like 4k words today and my brains fuzzy

wonwoo is so cruel. he’s so fucking cruel. he’s insulting you while fucking you stupid, rambling on and on about how you’re always crawling back into his bed like a shameless loser. about how you have no self-respect whatsoever. about how you should be out training even though you’re going to lose again. and again. and again.

and you’re just taking it because, fuck him, but he makes you feel so good. he bullies his cock into you and makes you cum countless times and it’s just too fucking good. you’re in this toxic… relationship? would you even call it that? you’re in this toxic situationship and you have no idea how to get out of it… or if you even want out of it.

and, cloudnon, you’re 100% right. it doesn’t matter who wins or loses.

if he wins, he’s fucking you as if he were some type of god with the cockiest smirk on his face. if you wanna cum, you have to beg and tell him how much of a loser you are. (woah humiliation kink popped out again my bad)

if you win, he’d be so fucking pissed. so so angry and he’s taking it out on you, immediately adjusting that cocky attitude of yours. makes you cum over and over till your just in tears babbling his name and incoherent pleas.

no matter what, he’s always going to have you begging for more bc you’re just his a pretty, cockhungry slut.

[oh my god i alrdy know that didnt make any fucking sense, BUT WAIT BC UR LIL SPIN OFF THING IS KINDA CUTE ☺️ ill start with a poorly written post-crash bed scene]

you’re fine. you’ve told him several times, but he keeps asking and it’s starting to get on your nerves. but, like, it’s also starting to freak you out a bit. he hasn’t said anything mean to you and the way he handles you is kind of… soft? something you’re not used to at all when you’re under him like this

he’s still a bit freaked out if he’s being honest. you could’ve been really hurt… and it’s morbid… but you could’ve fucking died and he doesnt think he’d be able to stand it if anything really bad happened to you.

he has no idea what he’s feeling right now. he doesn’t want to know. god forbid he have a crush on the his top competitor and god forbid you don’t feel the same way.

you grow impatient with his gentle touches bc you’re dying to have him manhandle you like he usually does, so you sigh out. “wonwoo, told you i’m fine. just a few cuts and bruises. stop worrying so much. you won’t break me.”

he looks at you nervously and your heart squeezes a bit… he’s kinda cute when he’s not being a complete dick. “you sure?”

“i’m sure.”

“i’ll be nicer today,” he mutters, “y’know, since you obviously don’t know how to ride.”

there he is.

you smirk, “oh? why don’t you show me how then?”

he smirks, voice low when he says, “it’d be my pleasure.”

#[💌: ☁️] #aPLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR THIS #BUT I NEEDED TO REPLY #SERIOUSLY THO IM IN LOVE WITH UR BRAIN

[spacedlexi]

i always wondered if you ever read any violentine/twg fanfiction and if you have could you tell us your favorites? Or what tropes would you like to read? Idk I just really like this ship and since there was so little content I could find so i read a lot of shit 💀 but I hold a special care for it since it was one of the first fandoms I entered and finding out Clem was bi meant a lot to me cause you don't see a lot of bi representation that isn't like "I like fucking anything that moves🤩(Yea Im looking at you Elite)”.

So yeah I'd like to hear you thought of fanfiction and stuff.

i tried once or twice but didnt get farther than the first chapter or so on the few i tried 😔 i kinda for the most part stopped reading fic after high school to be fair, so im very particular about what i Do read when it comes to fic now. and on ao3 at least since im afraid of wattpad there really hasnt been anything that held my attention (at least in the past. like i said i havent tried looking in a couple years so who knows). i need plot/character development heavy stuff that i can really sink my teeth into and i didnt really find much of that... and the "tropes" i like are more determined by which characters im applying them to so i dont always like the same ones across the board

someone asked me this question a while ago and i asked for any fic recs at the time but i only got like.. one? im really not sure what the state of twdg fic is like honestly

DESPITE all that tho im still slowly slowly SLOWLY meticulously steadily working on my own oneshot that i WILL FINISH I SWEAR its over 20 pages currently and only like 2/3? done?? and half edited BUT it IS outlined so..... i just have to.. you know..... actually Finish it....

i posted some snippets from it a while ago (HERE) but here's a couple longer ones since ive written about 10 more pages (plus like 5 in outlines) since then. im Really particular about the flow of my writing which is like.. the main reason why i take so long to write.. gotta fix it until it Feels Right

A comfortable silence seemed to settle over them then. The wind outside the shack still blew harshly, whistling against the broken windows. But as the girls sat by the warm glow of the fire, and listened to the crackling of the burning logs, it was enough to melt their tension. At least a bit.

The silence continued until the fire began to dwindle with the last of the logs. "We're going to have to start burning those..." Clementine said as she looked at the loose boards they had kicked aside earlier.

"I got it," Violet said as she stood, not even giving Clementine a chance to move. As she grabbed a board and kicked hard at its center, trying to break it in two, Clementine twisted her mouth. Not at the other girl, but at herself. She was still getting used to her new limitations, and it frustrated her knowing there were just certain things that she couldn't or struggled to do now.

The boards had been sturdy once, but due to age and exposure, they had eroded enough that Violet was able to break them with relative ease. She threw a couple of the pieces on the fire and set the rest by the hearth as she returned to where she had been at Clementine's side. She gave her a soft, reassuring smile as the fire came back to life, and Clementine gave a soft smile in return, breaking her from her thoughts, if only momentarily.

She heaved a sigh as her eyes were drawn back to the missing portion of her left leg. She thought about the trek awaiting them in the morning, and her mouth twisted again. "Ugh, walking through all of that snow is gonna fuck up my leg..."

The soft smile on Violet's face became mischievous. "Don't worry, I can just carry you instead." She said it nonchalantly, but the fluttering in her chest betrayed her.

Clementine quirked her eyebrow in response to the bold statement, smiling skeptically as she laughed "Uh, aha, yeah right."

"What, don't think I can?" Violet responded, the look on her face unbothered by the other girls reaction. "Brody was the one who carried you to the school after you crashed and I'm, like, at least as strong as Brody was."

Clementine's face dropped at the revelation. "Wait-... Brody brought us back?"

"Uh..." Violet hesitated at the change in Clementine's voice. "Yeah... Her and Marlon. She was the only one he would ever take outside the safe zone." She explained, and as an aside to herself said "Huh, guess it makes sense now..."

The playful atmosphere had now quickly disappeared, only to be replaced with a quiet, somber one. In the short time Clementine had to get to know Brody, she felt they had started to become friends. However, there weren’t many good memories made between them, and so Clementine more easily remembered the bad ones.

She could still remember that stormy night in the cellar clearly, could remember the sounds of Brody's inhuman screeching. The hot blood on her hands as she fought against the turned girl for her life. The guilt sinking in her chest like a black hole as she looked over what she had done. What she had to do. Clementine mourned her in the way she mourned everyone else she had lost. And it never got any easier.

Violet watched Clementine as she internally fought through her feelings, and once again regretted her words. She didn't want to think about Brody, either. And felt guilty over unintentionally bringing those awful memories to the surface. Clementine told them what Marlon had done that night, yet never talked about what happened after. But Violet had helped the others with the bodies, had seen what Clementine was forced to do. She remembered the sight clearly, as clearly as she remembered feeling that Marlon got what he deserved.

--

"Maybe we should try to get some sleep before it gets cold in here..." Clementine suggested tentatively.

Violet shifted, stretching her arms out in front of her, catching the last of the heat from the hearth on her fingers. "We should use the bed, then. It'll at least be better than the floor. Plus, there's a blanket."

Violet stood up then, stretching her legs as Clementine looked up at her. "Are you sure that thing isn't completely rotted?"

"It should be okay. We only brought it in here a little over a year ago."

"'We'? Why?"

"Uh-" Violet started at that, averting her eyes. "Um... Minnie and I... we kinda... used to hang out here..."

"Oh..." Clementine wasn't sure what to say to that, but it did confirm her suspicions. So instead, she relented. "Okay."

But she hesitated, looking between her leg and her prosthetic where it still sat propped against the side of the fireplace. "Hmm..." Should she put it back on? The bed wasn't far...

"Here," Violet reached her hand out, noticing the hesitation, "let me help you."

Clementine eyed the outstretched hand, considering her options, and once again twisted her mouth at her new limitations. She kind of hated this. She had done everything on her own for so long, and now...

"C'mon, it's okay."

She looked back and forth between Violet's face and outstretched hand a few times before finally relenting. "...Fine." She really didn't want to lace up her prosthetic just to immediately take it off again.

Clementine took her hand, and Violet helped pull her up to stand. They leaned close as she found her balance, gripping tightly at Violet's shoulder with her free hand. It only took a short moment, and once Clementine stabled herself, her eyes locked with Violet's. They both started a bit when they noticed how close they had become, face to face.

"Aha. Um, you good?" Violet asked, slightly flushed.

"Yeah," Clementine said, hiding her blush better than the other girl. "Thanks."

#twdg #violentine #replies with lexi #incognito #i know how you feel anon i remember the fic tag for them being pretty....barren.. #at least compared to what i was used to being into popular ships in big fandoms in the past #i was kind of surprised honestly #but to be fair i read a lot of mlm main pairing stuff in the past and wlw just seems to get less love in fandom spaces in comparison :/ #violentines get cozy under my wing i will provide for you #really trying to tackle themes of like #clem dealing with her new disability. learning to rely on others instead of always being the one relied upon #settling into ericsons and solidly accepting it as a safe home. for Real this time #clems past traumas finally catching up to her now that she is in a safe place and is beginning to truly process these events #vi dealing with her guilt over everyone she couldnt save #the way she feels guilty over leaving clem/aj in the woods and feeling partially responsible for her leg #feeling conflicted over her feelings for minnie #(anger? guilt? loss?) #and therefore feeling conflicted over her feelings for clem #(finding new love. more guilt. in a space where her and minnie had good memories together) #(this is a friended route vi where they have feeling for each other but are only acting now that the raiders are no longer a threat) #ok wow you think ive said enough at this point? this post is huge............ #ive been talking for too long

[fastasyoucan1999]

hiya hiya hiyaaaa love <33 saw the book ask thing and thought omigosh literally great excuse to be in your inbox ive missed it hfhfxx 2 and 4 and (if you wouldn't mind) feel free to rant about airport day !! delayed twice omg i would. perrish. ur being so brave how was itt hope the flight went/is going well im sending you cookies and kisses <33

LAYLA <33 hi!!! we can eat your cookies while we chat! i love when you visit i've got a whole guest room meant just for you

airport day was an EXPERIENCE. look i am not a girl meant for travel. my heart is the size of a mouse and it beats at the pace of a hummingbird's wing... i'm like one of those hamsters that dies of fright. but long and the short of it i got a iced chai at the little airport cafe and ate the blandest turkey sandwich of my life while staring senselessly at the wall :)

there was a bit of a seat mix-up which i will take full accountability for. a woman was sitting in my seat and i went <3 peace and love that's HER seat now <3 bc one thing about me. i will never be confrontational even in the most low-risk situations xx but i forgot that by letting her have my seat i was. uh effectively stealing someone else's. but we figured it out and then i stared out the window yipee!! there was a bit of rough turbulence but i am turbulence’s number one fan i think it's comforting! makes my life feel small and close like a warm blanket

ok books though!

did you reread anything? what?

i reread a few things! firstly frankenstein who is my gf. i have a few rereads of her under my belt! lit profs love to assign frankenstein and you know what i love to read frankenstein

also the raven cycle! what a joy! i'm not sure what was going on with me last year that i somehow read trc and then just... moved on. that did not happen this time lol i've got the physical copies with me now and i plan to take advantage and go for a third reread why not <3

catcher in the rye! sorry holden haters my immunity to vitriol teenagers is just so incredibly strong and unbeatable. also castle of otranto by horace walpole (literally imagine this being ur name. no just think about it for a moment) which was another lit class reread for me. it's a little goofy very sensational, probably written in the worst format possible and i have completely neutral feelings on it lol

did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

answered here but... is it a cop out to say maggie stiefvater? i feel like she’s infiltrating these answers like an invasive species...

#oh! also reread northanger abbey <3 she's also my girlfriend. #like catherine i too am a sad little shatter-brained creature. everything she does is so funny to me jane really emphasized the whole 'seven #teen year olds don't have fully developed brains' thing #thank you layla!! thank you for letting me rant i hope you know we chatted over your cookies and some hot tea and now we have to watch #a movie together. those are the rule #how's ur day?? what've u been up to! #layla tag #reading #asks