#obv something i relate to a lot...i get bits and pieces of how bad i was when i was a kid sometimes. i wasnt the worst. i was just autistic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

joyhigh · 3 years

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Had ideas floating around involving delving more into his backstory with the uncles as well as past interactions with Dusty, but then I ended up having this more Lisa-related concept pop up that emotionally hit me over the head, stomped me into the curb and took my wallet, so...this is the result.

A few notes, as Buddy obvs isn’t raised by Brad in this AU I decided she would go by a different name here(Sunny). Apologies if it’s as weird to read as it was to write, haha. She’s about 7 here, this is some time before the events of Painful.

Content warnings(getting dark here so please do take care): Descriptions of abuse, suicide, addiction and relapse

“You know the drill, right?”

“Wait and be quiet until you wave.” Sunny’s small hand pokes out from underneath her ill-fitting poncho to demonstrate, her motions quick and jittery. The pale mask obscuring her face does nothing to hide the way her shoulders bounce in excitement as the two sit against the wall of the hut, the way her feet drum against the rust-colored earth below.

“Mhm.” Bernard grunts in affirmation. “And until then stay out of sight while I’m out there, if I can see you—“

“The bad guys can too, I know.” There’s a bite of impatience to Sunny’s voice followed by a dramatic huff, the girl crossing her arms decisively. Nearly a mirror image of Jaxon, much to Bernard’s irritation. Out of all the ‘uncles’ for her to take after...

In response Bernard merely settles on a sigh and a warning look before finally standing. Today wasn’t a day for trying to play the parent and lecture on respect—his already protesting muscles and the persistent pulse of pain beneath his skull saw to that. Damn Joy. Or lack of it, for that matter.

Stepping over threadbare blankets and supply bags strewn about the meager space, Bernard feels Sunny’s eyes on him all the while as he exits the makeshift hut. What greets him outside is nothing new—the same drab hills and looming cliffs from yesterday. He can’t understand what makes the child so excited to go out and see it all again, especially since there’s been a few other times he’s relented to her pleas. Surely she has to see eventually that there’s nothing out there of any worth.

Bernard’s gaze drags across the horizon, searching and scanning and then double checking for any signs of movement as he treads further from the hut. They live a ways away from the closest settlement but he can never rest easy knowing of all the freaks and scavengers about. At the moment however, there is nothing but rocks and trees in deathlike stillness. The dawn is only beginning to break yet the heavy weight of humid air is already present, accompanied by a grey cover of clouds likely to be later burned away by the sun. The uncomfortable stickiness makes Bernard’s expression sour further as he turns to check back.

Immediately a small spot of white catches his eye—Sunny’s mask, peeking out of a large hole in the clay walls of the hut that can be only charitably called a window. Bernard stares a moment, does one more double take around him, then lifts his hand in a small wave. In a flash she’s already left the hut, dashing forward with faded pink poncho billowing behind her.

“Hey. Hey,” He barely manages to catch the girl’s wrist, stopping her from speeding right past him. Antonio once joked that Sunny knew how to run before she could walk and honestly, Bernard could believe it. “Stay close, remember?”

Sunny stares at the point of contact for a moment as if contemplating resistance, but seems to decide against it as her small hand slides into his. She’s quiet for a while but her gaze is constantly moving—to the sky, the ground, the hills, until finally it locks onto something and Sunny jolts.

“What’s that?” She gasps, already starting to tug Bernard forward as she tries to move closer. At first he’s puzzled, seeing the object of her interest is nothing more than a dead tree, but then a spot of darkness perched on the gnarled branches catches his eye.

“A crow. Type of bird.” Bernard allows her to lead him forward until they arrive at the base of the tree. The crow just watches, a slight sheen of blue glimmering over its feathers in the faint morning light.

“Like an owl?”

“Yep. Like an owl, but more annoying-“ The sentence is soon followed by a harsh cry on part of the bird, making Sunny jump. Bernard just snickers. “Like so.”

“No he isn’t!!” Sunny sounds personally offended by this, as if she wasn’t just startled by it a moment ago. “He’s just saying good morning.”

“Sure…so what else does he have to say? Since you’re such an expert.” As if on cue the crow caws again.

“Hm.” She hums contemplatively, crossing her arms. “He says you’re stinky. And dumb.”

Bernard sharply glances sideways at her, lifting a brow. “Is that so? Well that’s rude.” Sunny just shrugs, failing miserably at stifling a giggle. “I could throw a rock at him for that, you know.” He adds, and immediately the child’s mirth disintegrates.

“No! You can’t!” She gasps, looking anxiously between him and the bird. Bernard’s smirk widens slightly as he decides to keep this going. Maybe it’s because kids are always easy to mess with. Maybe the withdrawal’s put him in a bit of a nasty mood.

“I dunno...there’s a lot of ‘em around, you know.” Bernard saunters about scanning the ground intently, kneeling to pick up a random piece of stone and inspecting it to fully sell the charade.

He expects another protest on part of Sunny but all that follows is silence. Bernard’s smile fades as he looks up, presented with the sight of the girl pulling herself up onto one of the tree branches.

“Sunshine, no-“ He quickly discards the stone and returns to the base of the tree, unsure if he should prepare to catch her if she falls or just try and pull her back down. “Get back here, now.”

“If you’re gonna be mean to him, I won’t let you.” She calls back, casting only a brief glance in his direction before continuing to climb up towards the crow. The branches seem to be able to hold her small body just fine but Bernard’s form is strung with tension as he watches Sunny move further out of reach.

“Kid, I was joking.” Whether it was from the abrupt motion or the overall noise, it feels like someone’s taking a jackhammer to his skull.

“Wasn't funny,” She huffs, pausing for a moment in her ascent as she and the bird regard each other. “Hi…” Bernard can hear her whisper, and Sunny slowly reaches forward. “Hi birdie. C‘ mere, it’s okay. It’s okay,” It’s a similar tone to one he and the others would use whenever Sunny got a scrape or bruise, however this time it doesn’t have any calming effect. As she gets closer the bird caws and with a rustle of feathers, it leaps off the branch and takes to the air. “Aw…”

“There,” Bernard winces, rubbing his temple with one hand as he watches the dark shape quickly become a small splotch in the sky. “See? There wasn’t any point to that, they don’t like people.” If Sunny’s paying attention to him he can’t tell with the mask, but even so it seems her focus is on the horizon as she surveys her surroundings.

“...I’m really high up.”

“Oh no, really?” He drawls, rolling his eyes. “Great observation, kiddo.” It’s a surprise to see the child not responding with her usual indignation, but Sunny’s mind seems elsewhere entirely.

“I can see more things,” She points further off in the distance. “Are those other huts over there? Are they like us?” Not waiting for an answer, Sunny lifts her mask and beams down at Bernard. “Come up! You can come see too!” The shrill excitement in her voice only makes his head throb further and he can’t even bring himself to remind her of the mask.

“Just—-give me a...ugh.” Bernard finds himself leaning against the tree for support, even that small motion making his muscles twinge in protest. He’d thought he would be able to fight it off but the withdrawal was only getting worse. A headache he could handle, but when the pain spread...

Just try and breathe. In and out. He shuts his eyes and tries to remind himself he has to be here for Sunny right now, that’s why he’s going through this in the first place. Is she talking to him right now? The most he can hear is the blood roaring in his ears, a harsh ringing—

Then quiet. The pain halts, though there’s still a faint echo of the sensation through his body. Bernard lifts his head to find he’s somewhere else.

Nighttime. Standing in overgrown grass surrounding a run-down house seemingly banished to the far out edge of the suburbs. Her house.

“Lisa?” The boy didn’t dare bring his voice above a hushed whisper, as always fearful breaking the silence would catch unwanted attention. The cold light of a television below her room was a nigh-constant reminder of the risk. Bernard tried not to let it distract him, eyes glued to the higher window where Lisa would appear many times before. He prayed for the creak of a window as it opened, the rustle of leaves as she would clamber down the nearby oak tree to get to him. But right now, it all was quiet.

Something was wrong. It had been wrong the day before, when Lisa stared at him through the fresh bandages on her face, hands loosely clasped around wrists with bruises that were even more recent. The plan didn’t work. At first Bernard thought she’d be furious with him—really he would’ve preferred that. Instead as he profusely apologized Lisa just watched him with hollow eyes. That look of tired resignation terrified him even more than her anger.

Bernard shifted uneasily from foot to foot. It was a school night for him and not their usual time to meet, but he had to check on her. Even if he didn’t Bernard was sure he’d be kept up by the worry anyway. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been waiting but enough was enough.

Motions slowed by apprehension, he stood at the base of the oak and grasped the sturdiest branch he could reach. The rough bark bit Bernard’s hands as he clumsily hoisted his stout figure up, sneakers scraping against the trunk of the tree in an attempt to get more leverage. Once he regained his bearings he reached for another branch, then another. By the end of his climb he was out of breath but his lips twisted in grim triumph. Lisa’s window was right within reach.

Past the glass-smudged glass Bernard finally saw her. She stood on the other side of the room, a shape distinguished only by the faint light filtering in from the outside. Besides that he couldn’t make much else out—had she noticed him yet? Was she ignoring him?

As he shifted closer, timidly reaching to tap on the window, it was then he noticed two important things.

Lisa’s feet didn’t touch the floor. A rope was tied to the ceiling.

No. That couldn’t be it. Something in Bernard’s gut twisted as he leaned in, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. That couldn’t be it. The shadows were playing tricks on him—he’d seen people die like that before on television, people who did horrible things and terrified people too weak to go on, but Lisa couldn’t. His Lisa was the strongest person he knew, even if she didn’t think it. With a trembling hand he knocked on the window—once, twice. But she didn’t look at him. Just gently swayed there, her slight form limp and, and…

Lifeless.

“Lisa.” His voice broke. “Lisa.” Fist now clenched, Bernard hit it against the window with a dull thud. He didn’t care about the noise anymore, he just wanted to make her move. To make her look at him again with those soft dark eyes. But Lisa was still.

Didn’t she tell him before? How there was another option, one that’d take her away from all of this. Bernard had felt tears well up in his eyes as he took her hands in his own, telling Lisa it would never come to that, they would find a better way. Lisa just sighed, calling him a crybaby, but she had gently squeezed his hands nonetheless. He had clung to that moment through everything.

Now...it felt like the world was spinning around him, about to fall apart. As Bernard hunched over, unable to look anymore, his body wracked with sobs so powerful he couldn’t even make a sound beside ragged breaths. It would’ve been so easy to let go of that tree branch, let himself fall—

“—-dy! Dad!” A voice pierces Bernard’s ears, a sudden brightness combined with the returning headache making him squint. All at once his real surroundings come back.

“Fuck.” Is all he manages to gasp out at first, blindly grasping for a steady hold onto something, anything, before his balance falters. His hands find a branch, bark pale and dead beneath his palms, his eyes lowering to see the dusty ground further below his feet.

“...Dad? What happened?” Sunny sits across from him on another branch. The fear in her small voice, the trust given by that title, it all makes something ache in Bernard’s chest besides the withdrawal. He can’t stand it.

“I told you not to call me that,” Bernard mutters , not making eye contact as he unsteadily clambers down from the branches. “We’re going home.” He can’t stand being in that tree another second, not after seeing that.

“But—but why can’t I stay longer?” Sunny sniffs, only reluctantly starting to follow and Bernard tries not to notice how she sounds on the verge of tears.

“Because I said so, now move.” Before the girl can even properly respond the last shreds of his patience dissipate and Bernard reaches up, pulling her out of the tree with not as much care as he probably should’ve taken. As they march across the dirt and grit Sunny makes a frustrated sound, attempting to wiggle her hand out of his grip. Soon the futility of that becomes apparent and she eventually falls in line, albeit still sniffling and dragging her feet. It’s only when the hut is a few paces away that she speaks again, voice fragile.

“...who’s Lisa?”

Bernard falters in his tracks, that name bringing back a rush of memories he’s been trying to keep at bay every step from that tree. His pace slows as his brain makes a weak attempt at forming an explanation, but fortunately before he can speak there’s movement in the doorway of the hut.

Antonio squints at them through the morning sun, no doubt adjusting from the dim candlelight of the dug out level underground where the others sleep. Bernard just watches sullenly as the man lifts a hand in greeting, already anticipating how he’ll soon detect the change in mood. All it takes is a few glances between the two and Antonio’s expression darkens with a frown. He doesn’t bother with further pleasantries. “What happened?” It’s like an accusation, but Bernard doesn’t even have the energy to get defensive.

“Just...take her.” Bernard can’t meet the other’s scrutinizing gaze as he nudges Sunny forward in Antonio’s direction. He only catches a glimpse of the girl rushing to her uncle’s side before he turns away.

“Bernard-“

“Relax, she’s just sulking cause she wanted to stay out some more,” He tries to sound as relaxed as he can to avoid suspicion, waving a hand dismissively as he begins to head around the back of the hut. It’s easier when Antonio can’t see his face. “I’ll be back.”

If Antonio replies, Bernard is already too far away to hear. Some of his tension eases with the knowledge that the others will be too preoccupied by Sunny to try and follow him. No judgement, no pity. None of them can understand this. None of them can understand why a small, pale figure with raven-dark hair stares at him as he clambers down a craggy cliff edge. Bernard shuts his eyes, the bite of the rope keeping him grounded as he falls into the rhythm of his descent.

When at last his feet touch ground again the realization of what he’s doing kicks in, and with it rises a sharp hunger in his core. It’s been so long since Bernard had dared go near this spot with the knowledge of what he’d left there long ago. But he needs it now, needs to forget for at least a little while. Bernard turns, eyes opening eagerly to see that familiar blue dotting the earth.

The pills are there waiting for him, right where he left them.

#role swap au #buzzo #buddy armstrong #lisa armstrong #lisa rpg #lisa the painful #drugs tw #abuse tw #suicide tw

29 notes · View notes

holyhalliwells · 3 years

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imo, the show was often unilaterally focused on Piper, but only on what she could do for others (Piper the wife and Piper the mother) rather than who she was as a person. Piper's individual characterization was lost sometime around s5 as soon as she got pregnant, and being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series. I would be very interested to hear what you define as Piper's mental issues/trauma, bc as you say it doesn't get said enough

this has been in my inbox forever and i’m just getting around to it so my apologies.

but okay. so. yes. i think a lot of tv shows fall into this weird place where like. all of their characters begin with these kinda vague personalities because you’re just getting to know them. and as the show goes on, you pick up more pieces and stuff . and that’s great. that’s interesting and entertaining and it takes you on a journey and all. but often what happens is many shows fall into this pit where writers either get lazy, they change, or whatever, and the actors are tired of playing the part or whatever . and like. the characters become like. caricatures of themselves. and it just gets exhausting to watch because they’re not like. real people anymore.

Piper's individual characterization

so now for the charmed thing. so from the beginning. i have loved piper. like she’s the middle sister, overlooked, quiet, reserved, pessimistic but also realistic, gentle, thoughtful, all that. we see right away that she loves to cook .. she’s so happy her family is back together. she kept in touch with phoebe behind prue’s back. but she’s loyal to the both of them. her first idea was to have a reunion dinner when phoebe came home. she’s literally so cute n she deserves a hug. but no like. as we go on, we see that she wants to be good, she wants a stable life with no more loss, she Loves Love !! like. she wants to just be happy , open her own restaurant n just cook. she’s also so shy .. definitely panicky and anxious. and she doesn’t trust herself. she’s skeptical of everything, and she’s very thoughtful when it comes to big situations. even in the early days with leo and into season 2, she mentioned a few things about like “i’ve been thinking a lot about this...” and you can see she’s good at communicating with people. she’s also got these other dimensions to her like . she is interested in lots of cuisine types, she loves to read (and is a camus fan !!) , she drives a jeep (which i wanna know how she got bc i have questions), when she found out she was a witch her first thought was just . i need to go and see if i am still a good person . and she went to church. prue was surprised to learn that piper enjoys knitting. in the early seasons (especially mid-late season 3) we saw her with her plants and all. she’s just this natural peacekeeper. but like. we literally got a crying scene in the second episode because she was so conflicted about this. and she’s such a deep and complex character that i fell in love with so fast . and like . literally my favourite fictional character to exist . genuinely holly breathed so much life into piper . anyway . so. here’s the thing.

being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series

like. piper was who i described above. and like . i kinda think . a bit. that like . the writers . especially in s4 . were like . hmm well . she’s just lost prue, she’s gonna be grieving . and like we need more for her. so. she’s been married to leo for the better part of a year, been with him for like . 3 years. so. let’s maybe consider giving them a kid but not just yet . just Content kinda stuff. so anyway they drop little hints in here and there starting in like . 4x07 i think? which . brain drain really paid the rent . fully just. holly did so well. but like. that ep was just. a neat way of looking into her mind and seeing the horrors of manipulation and gaslighting and everything . and of course holly knocked it out of the park. but at that point, they were kinda like . hmm . kids ? and they started toying with the idea, having piper and leo consider it, talk about it, they had paige and phoebe ask about it , all of that good stuff. as you do. made for some funny tv at some points. and like . i really, really Get It . when piper’s like . ahh the baby wouldn’t be safe around here !!!! like. Girl, Valid . your sister just died and like . you went on forever about how she was The Most Powerful One . The Strongest One . and yet she still died . so she’s like ??? am i next ?? and like obv it doesn’t make sense for her to jump on this train of like . i’m gonna have a kid !!!! so she’s really valid in her thought process there. and like. after having wyatt . i think the writers really . idk. couldn’t do waaay too much with her character anymore because i feel like . to an extent, anything she does will be scrutinized bc i’m not just . saying this . i rlly feel like sometimes piper’s the easiest to hate. like idk why but i loved her. but anyway. if she stays at home with wyatt and doesn’t wanna fight demons n all . then she’s selfish towards her sisters n she’s awful n prue wouldn’t have let her do that !!!! etc . but if she fought demons it’s like . uh sweetie you have a child . really ??? why put yourself in a situation that might have you ending up like patty 2.0 ... bc i could do a Whole post on how patty’s situation messed piper up the most. but anyway.

it’s the way i’m fully rambling so if you’re reading this . i love you . anyway okay . so . i think in a tv show you’ve gotta kinda check boxes. the best tv shows have characters you see yourself in . you relate to them. you hear them and understand their decisions and actions and thoughts. the things they do just makes sense 2 you. so like. with prue, anyone married to their job could relate to her. any oldest sibling could see themselves in her, you know ? she was hard-working, committed, logical, protective. and with phoebe, anyone who couldn’t “settle down” in their early 20s related 2 her, anyone who felt like the outcast of the family, the “screw-up” .. right. makes sense. she was so kind, caring, had-your-back kinda girl. we all love those. paige was like . the new kid, trying to fit in, creative, curious, and definitely a lifelong learner. and then there’s piper who was shy, resistant, really just wanted to be normal. and loved. and i think everyone could kinda identify with at least one of the sisters regardless of where you stood in your own family. so as the show went on, it’s like . they still want you to keep watching and keep being able to identify with them because it’s not like they’re humans with normal lives so they’ve already kinda lowkey got that going against them . so their more “human” and normal lives... we’ve gotta be able to identify with them to be able to invest time. so they had prue always working, having trouble balancing love and work, looking out for her family. we had phoebe kinda living her life, getting her career going, then kinda wanting a family. we had paige learning magic and being super interested and involved and then getting married. and we had piper who had her career pretty early on, got married, and had kids. like. i think the big thing is the marriage and kids. and when you’re a mother . the only mother really in the show, the show lowkey centres around you . like. for starters, the show usually is in the manor, and if you’re a mother, you’re very likely at home, esp with young kids. so i think that alone kinda was like . huh yeah . won’t see piper out waaay too much anymore i guess !!! but no like . there’s That. that’s kinda. the thing that really can’t change with the show . like. piper’s got kids now and a husband and very, very likely . her life will be centred around her home. which. listen she’s wanted that i think - the stability . she’s wanted that forever. and this is the form it came in. but i should stop rambling here and cut to the point .

Piper's mental issues/trauma

disclaimer: i’m not diagnosing her, i’m just speculating based off of my own experiences with mental health

so. okay. very early on. we saw that anxiety. like. yes . she was nervous about like a whole new life experience . or whatever we’re gonna call it when you figure out you’re a witch . but like she was Anxious . like. crying in the attic over being a bad person . needing phoebe to talk her down by telling her she’s such a caring person, she’s always doing things for other people . and then there’s the whole anxiety that comes with. my family’s falling apart because my sisters are fighting so i use really awkward methods of getting out of things . like using humour as a coping mechanism !!! which. gave us some iconic one-liners. but that’s beside the point . anyway. point is. early on, that anxiety was there. there’s an ep in season 1 where she’s literally entering a panic attack in her kitchen and phoebe’s using a menu to cool her down. like. Yikes! and then she’s just. her awkward self around everyone but that’s endearing and is just part of her personality . and i think a lot of the anxiety stemmed from childhood. we heard a few times about how prue and phoebe had boyfriends growing up, were always pretty and popular and all. phoebe was popular, too, just, in the other crowd. but nonetheless, piper faded into the background, doing well in math - well enough to go off and be a banker . and like. she sacrificed a lot for grams. she stayed in san francisco ... we all know the girl had the marks for stanford or something . like. though . still, i think she liked the stability of home and prob would’ve stayed . but in 3x17 she’s all !!! grams !!! the doctor said no caffeine !!! and when grams was taking the pic of them outside and she had an episode , piper was all !!!! shallow breaths !!! like. it was clear piper was the one taking her to the appointments and footing the bill. like. she literally became a banker just bc it had benefits n stuff. like. poor girl really thought . anyway that’s a whole spiral. but no. like she really sacrificed The Most for her family and everyone still thought she was selfish for wanting to move out . when like back then grams was literally ... sick ... and prue was out here moving out and phoebe was nowhere to be found . so. that . definitely would have added to her anxiety about even wanting to do anything for herself because she’ll be perceived as selfish in a heartbeat. even if it’s not Mean . it’s just. she’d never risk it. but there’s the anxiety. there are a few lil things here n there about how she gets nervous n stuff, she represses things (3x07 i think was where phoebe said piper represses her anger n just sucks it up n does whatever) . she literally cancelled her doctor’s appointment Twice . anyway. it still angers me. then in season 7 . patty and victor were like . oh she had night terrors that were so bad we took her to the doctor ! and i just ... honey . baby. she thought she caused the divorce. at 4? 5? she watched victor leave on her 5th birthday, watched a demon attack her, grams, and victor. prue said she didn’t cry at patty’s funeral and i’ll make a safe bet that piper did. and i think growing up without patty was strange for sure. prue had more memories and phoebe had none. and piper had fragments of this person everyone loved . and she was stuck between knowing her and not knowing her. and when patty was sent to her for her wedding day, (as well as in 1x17) . both times when patty hugged them . prue and phoebe hugged her, eyes closed n all. while piper was on the outside, eyes open . looking numb as all hell . and you know. i rlly think she was Giving Them That because phoebe didn’t get her and prue kinda . in a way. lost more of her . if that makes sense ?? and i just. patty really was like . they sent me to You. and 5 seconds later . piper’s like . they sent mom to Us !!! and it’s that idea of sacrifice and never having anything for yourself because she was never just . given anything for herself . everything in her life has been a sacrifice and as a mother, that’s perpetuated. she can assume that role with more of a purpose . like. people won’t really feel sorry for her now as the “forgotten” sister, they won’t try and coddle her or anything. and another thing. control. piper craved stability and control. i think while cooking was something she loved, it also gave her a lot of control . she could control her whole kitchen . even in season 8 .. maybe vaya con leos actually . leo mentioned how much piper craves control. and the control motif makes sense with her powers too. like. piper craved control so much that her powers allowed her to control things down to the atom. so there’s the whole anxiety and needing to control things to ease her anxiety and all. there’s That whole thing.

and then we get to the infamous season 5 fearless spell . ms girl really sat in the attic just writing everything on the wall and it’s the way i screenshotted it and like . zoomed in and tried deciphering it . and like . there’s words like “stop” and i think “sister” is in there a few times, so is “loss” or “lost”. when i watch it next i’ll grab a cap because it’s . disturbing. girl was so scared . literally was writing a spell to get rid of her fears . she also writes Fear . as in. capital F . and like. yeah that’s deep but i do it too like i emphasize words with a capital letter . and like holly marie combs might just have quirky n fun writing but like ... capital F . for Fear. for real . that’s . trauma !!! and she also was having panic attacks at the beginning of season 5. let’s not forget those. which ... we should’ve gotten more of an explanation for . i hope that girl is getting help bc she was Going Through It . and in season 7 when zankou reads her diary . firstly. we Knew this girl kept a diary like . for Sure . she did. and just that little excerpt of when prue died . oops. i’d pay big money to see the rest because again i just think she’s got such a complex mind and like. i’d be so interested to read that. and i think everything re: prue is just Awful for her. like . idk if this is just something quirky i noticed but obv we know prue died in may 2001 . but at the end of 4x03, when piper goes 2 paige’s work 2 bring her muffins !! soft !!! the calendar on one of the desks reads july 2001 ... and i really just. ms girl. i Know they prob just filmed the ep in july but it honestly tracks that she’d be so awfully upset about everything and just . barely able to do anything but cook . for 2 months. like. honey. baby. i wanted 2 just cuddle her bc she was so sad. and like. she tells paige she’s having “good hours” and “not so good hours” . she’s going by the Hour . by the Hour . just. need i say more . i’m so . but no like. if anything like i could see her having like . depression where she’s high-functioning and like just . walking depression i guess ?? like . not even after prue. i think in general. like . she definitely has a melancholic temperament and a type 6 enneagram (the skeptic). that’s For Sure . but i think. just. she’s always just had time to think bc she’s always alone, reading, knitting, cooking, tending to her plants, all that. and i just . think. she has issues. and i think prue knew that. of all people. and i think her knowing that . and then dying. destroyed piper. she lost the last person that was truly a constant in her life . like they shared a roof over their heads forever. and then she was just . gone . and piper was suddenly left to pick up the pieces . and become the oldest sister . and i’m So glad she didn’t fully assume her personality. i’m glad she stayed as piper . just. she’s more cynical and snarky and defensive and cold and that’s okay. she’s hurting. she’s always gonna hurt . and i think it makes her human . she’s pessimistic and sad and has a short fuse at times . but just. again. i love her to bits and i think those issues make her more relatable for me. because while many like to say she became selfish and a negative person and just . awful to be around . i’d say the opposite . i won’t sit and apologize or justify things. also i don’t think piper’s done anything wrong . i just think she’s hurt. she’s been wronged so many times. and she’s .... scared. i think she’s scared . and in season 5 “sympathy for the demon” we learn her true biggest fear is her happiness being stolen away. and like . it’s not that she’s scared she won’t be happy. she’s scared all of the good she’s got will be taken from her . and that’s . terrifying . so . i see why she’s so snarky and bitter and tired and all . she’s terrified of things being taken from her like they have been her whole life. and as i watch the show i really like to just keep that in mind as i get further and further in because yes. she did become a mother and a wife and we saw her arguing with leo a lot and their marriage falling apart and That Whole Era . we saw how it kind of took over her life but i think it happens . i think she even said at one point . i’ve been so many things to so many people, i don’t know who i am anymore . and i think it sums her up perfectly. she doesn’t know who she is because she’s someone to everyone . she’s just. nobody to herself except this scared little girl who just wants Something . Anything . to make sense . some Stability . and her babies, her husband, and her sisters . are all she has for that idea of stability to make sense in her mind. and it was an easy hole to fall into - the Mother - but i think she jumped in. because at the Very Least . nobody could take that title away from her . regardless of how hard they tried .

#i really cannot believe i did an entire ted talk #like did anyone actually read this #if you did . wow #piper halliwell deserved better #tw: mental health #tw: depression #tw: anxiety #tw: panic attack #but no listen #she deserved so much better #holly paid rent #ask me #charmed #ramble #💌

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edwad · 3 years

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I am interested in learning more about Marx's method in Capital and how it relates to philosophies of science. I finished Murray's "Marx's Theory of Scientific Knowledge" and liked it for the most part. Though, it was bit light on the philosophy of science stuff. I am into critical realism a bit but think most of the work at the intersection of critical realism and marx is quite bad. Any recs on Marx's method and how it relates to philosophy of science?

if you can read german, heinrich's science of value spends some time on this question, otherwise you'll have to wait for it to come out with the rest of us. some of his smaller pieces are available in english and get into this some, mostly to summarize the argument in SoV, but the book will be the definitive treatment obv. frederick h pitts put out a short little book this past year called "value" which is part of a series on political economy (and therefore not a series about marx in particular) but his book ultimately argues, borrowing heavily from mirowski and echoing heinrich, that marxs theory of value constitutes a kind of break with the theoretical terrain of political economy, a sort of revolution in social science. this is compared to similar shifts in the natural sciences and i think does a good job to demonstrate what is really new and unique (and contemporary!) about marx's critique, as well as highlighting some of its limits.

beyond that, nothing immediately comes to mind other than to say that this kind of philosophy of science stuff permeates a lot of discussions of marx in subtle ways which aren't always elaborated on at length. for example, sweezy's theory of capitalist development begins with a claim about marxs kuhnian revolution in political economy etc but he doesn't say much else about it beyond that. althusser's "object of capital" is probably noteworthy but is, imo, completely outmoded by heinrich's work (which i read as a kind of extended critical riff on althusser in some ways). it still may be worth looking at but i think he gets several things wrong even while seeing more in marx than others did at the time. i'm sure i'm missing others but maybe someone will have something good in the replies

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thevoilinauttheory · 3 years

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[ i’m not one to really give my opinions on games in my tumblr

but i was replaying through 5.3 (and some thoughts visiting 5.0 again) on maximiloix to get him caught up and g o d do i just have... a little bit to say (funny, really) but there’s spoilers, and i know a couple people who follow me who haven’t done it yet - so i’mma put it under the cut for anyone interested in my rambles ]

[ so. like.

first. still sobbing about 5.3 and its build up, and don’t think i’ll ever get over it, especially after doing it a second time. knowing what’s going to happen, i think made it almost worse - it made all those conversations make sense and its just. hhhhh i love it so much.

next. the solo instance where elidibus takes you through amaurot fighting the people from your past adventures, the people you’ve grown to care about and love. g o d when i did that the first time, i think i literally cried. my heart hurt so much and i just wanted to refuse to fight.

but there’s a reason why maximiloix is in a group in the wol!au i have... because. if it were just him going through, just him as the wol. that part wouldn’t have hurt him. he probably would’ve responded with something like “i’m flattered you think i care” or like “i don’t think you know me as well as you think you do” and then just slaughter them all anyways with zero hesitation (honestly, if it came down to it, he probably would only hesitate with alphinaud, alisaie, or ryne - they’re kids! they didn’t ask for this! but, uh. that’s just hesitation. maybe like thirty seconds later he’d go “aw fuck it”). maximiloix would make the worst wol if he were traveling on his own with no one to keep him in check. i just found that so funny to me.

if it were just him, he honestly prolly wouldn’t be a wol. he would’ve sided with the ascians hands down without hesitation. if it wasn’t before, then it definitely would’ve been with amaurot - he probably would’ve dropped his weapon and go “yeah, that makes sense”... and then leave it be. and if he didn’t, whatever semblance of a heart he has left would have gone out to them as he learned more... even more so when he would realize that elidibus was just a child at the heart of it all. (that part really fucked me up for a bit)

--- HOKAY. THIS CUT IS TO TELL YOU THERES SOME THOUGHTS I HAVE ON THE 5.0 DRAMA TRAIN, AND I JUST WANT TO WARN YOU SO YOU CAN SKIP IT AND SCROLL PAST REAL FAST ---

obvs really late to the party here, mostly because severe anxiety and i don’t like getting caught up in shit like this

so. i saw a lot of posts going around at the time of 5.0 talking about “i hate emet-selch so much why would i want to fucking remember you” or “nope just gonna forget it cause fuck you” - i can understand peoples’ dislikes of emet-selch, as like, a person (as a character, damn. that’s some good writing and you can’t deny that) - yeah, he’s a fascist. he’s an absolute dick. there’s no atoning for shit like that irl but.

its like. my first thought reading all of that was.

“do people have reading comprehension? like. at all?”

he wasn’t saying “remember me”, he was saying “remember us” , y’know. remember that there were people before you. remember that our people suffered greatly because you are our legacy. remember not to repeat the mistakes of the past. remember all of these people that gave their lives to give you yours.

“history is learned, not lived”

literally from the game itself. this whole game is littered with gems like that. absolutely full of relatable lines, whether they be comedic or serious. this game is filled with so much that can be applied to our own lives.

“to take action is to hope. to believe-- to choose to believe, is to take the first step towards a brighter future.” “but if i may give voice to a personal desire... i rather you lived.” “the time left to you is precious” “if it is folly to hope, i am content to die a fool” “but come, turn your gaze to the window, my friend. the rains have ceased and we have been graced with another beautiful day”

“remember us. remember that we once lived.”

and so many more!! even the lyrics of some of the songs are so beautifully written and full of raw emotion that at some point, we can resonate with them.

there’s a post going around... talking about how, as people, we are desperate to be remembered. we write in diaries, we keep receipts of complaints from customers when they diss you about your poor-quality copper, we make etchings on walls of the days passed and our heights as we grow, we leave behind memoirs of times lost to us. so many of us strive for greatness... because we want to be remembered. we want to be learned. we want to be heard. we want our names to be remembered, our stories and our voices... and none of us will see that in the end. sure. family will be there - your pictures will be hung for the next few decades... but after it all? no one’s going to remember who you were in fifty, eighty, a hundred, a thousand, a million years from now. so the best we can do is to preserve what we have. to immortalize the tiny pieces of ourselves. the shitty artwork you drew when you were five, the remains of torn books and libraries, dirty figurines, hell - even the stains left in the walls and carpets of your old home. we make time capsules for a reason. all of us, collectively, are screaming out: “i lived! remember me, please! i was here, i lived, i learned, i loved! i cried, i got embarrassed, i got angry - but i was here! please remember me - remember us!”

is that not the same of what he’s saying? he doesn’t care if you remember him specifically. (would it matter to him? maybe? he’s a fictional character y’all, i can’t speak for his writers) but the message isn’t to remember him and all the things he did in his life. it was to remember that they were people. they tried their best. they failed, but they tried. and they existed. they loved. they cried. they grew. they mourned. they made mistakes.

it really peeves- maybe not in a “makes me angry sense”, but kinda annoys- me, even now, that people would throw away such an amazing message... simply because a fictional character did bad things in a fictional world, or just didn’t like them, said it. it really is a beautiful and terrifyingly sad message that people didn’t seem to get because they were focused on who said it. this is a sentiment everyone has shared, even if they didn’t know it.

for me, it really spoke. shadowbringers is, and was, one of the best expansions, i’ll say it. not just for the story but for the overall message of it. it’s fantastic. and i really hope that the people who made those comments - they won’t read this, i don’t think - but... i hope the rest of the expansion after that moment gave them that realization.

sorry for that huge vent/rant y’all. i just, that had been burning in my head for so long now and i finally got the words to say it. if you read through it all, thank you! and please don’t spread negativity on this subject. if you want to say something negative, just move on, please. it’s not worth my nor your time. you can make your own post about it, just don’t leave it on mine.

but seriously, thank you for going through all this. and trust me, it may not matter now - but i’ll remember you. i will. i’ll remember the wonderful people here in the small ways i do. ]

#ooc #ffxiv #5.3 spoilers #5.3 #shadowbringers spoilers #shadowbringers #5.0 spoilers #5.0 #little bit of uh #okay #maybe a lot of a rant at the end #but i feel things so much #and i needed to let those feels out #put my thoughts down and everything #because like everyone #i want to be remembered too

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bedlamsbard · 3 years

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(in response to this post)

This turned out really, really long, so, uh, apologies? The short version is that the number one rule is that your legacy characters don’t undercut your main cast.

I think Rogue One and Solo pulled it off -- Solo is a weirder case because it’s a prequel story about a main character, but Rogue One’s use of Tarkin, Vader, Mon Mothma, Bail Organa, etc. worked for me because from the beginning they were there to support the original characters in the film and never wavered from that. Rogue One also benefited from knowing exactly what it was going to do and never wavering from that for an instant.

In terms of the shows, TCW is also not a straightforward case because it was using film characters as its mains and pulling from all over, but in terms of OT characters that appeared in the show, I am pretty happy with how TCW pulled off Chewbacca in Wookiee Hunt (3.22) -- puts him there, uses him well to support the main character of that particular arc (Ahsoka) and the other supporting characters (the other youngling Jedi), but it doesn’t turn into the Chewie episode. Same with Ackbar in the Mon Cala arc in S4: support, not overwhelming, doesn’t waver from the central theme of the arc. Tarkin’s the other big one, and I’m pretty satisfied with the way he was used in TCW -- he’s always there in reference to the main characters of the arcs he appears in, and not in reference to himself, if that makes sense -- he’s there because having him there specifically makes more sense than it doesn’t.

(Honestly, I think the little philosophical lessons really helped with TCW being able to keep its focus: they have to drive straight towards that and not hesitate about it. Every time they dropped those (I’m talking about you, Siege of Mandalore), they ran into a problem where they sort of wandered around a bit.)

Maul...I like Maul a lot. I don’t have that much of a problem with the decision to bring him back into the timeline in TCW (at least you always knew that when George Lucas was doing something he was doing it because he enjoyed it, instead of the current case of “are you doing it for a purpose? for cheap lulz? for the aesthetic? are you setting up a sequel? are you trying to course-correct another piece of canon?”). I do think Maul got overweighted in S7, and this is partially because they didn’t really have the space to build him up from where he ended in S5. The Darth Maul - Son of Dathomir comic helps a little, but S7 is such a rapid switch from where he is in S5 (and you do have to assume that most viewers hadn’t read the comic) that he then pulls in too much narrative weight, and that’s because S7 was trying to do something really, really different from what the previous six seasons of TCW were trying to do.

Rebels sometimes pulls it off, sometimes does not. Since we’re on the topic of Maul already, I am actually fine with Maul in Rebels. I don’t actually think he was used to his full benefit because they pulled back at the last minute, but Maul in Twilight of the Apprentice? Fine with that. Same with Holocrons of Fate and Visions and Voices. (I’ve got a few other problems with Visions and Voices.) Maul is always there in relation to the main characters of the show, not in relation to himself and not in relation to a non-Rebels character. Did it have to be Maul (back in TotA, obvs, not the latter two)? No, but it makes sense and it works really well thematically with all of the characters present in that episode. Holocrons and Visions and Voices, same.

Twin Suns, on the other hand, another Maul episode, was a disaster -- beautifully made episode, everyone is in character, it should never have been made. (I’m currently grumpy about this one specifically because I recently saw an “Ezra shouldn’t have been in Twin Suns” take.) Yes, Maul and Obi-Wan are both interacting with Ezra, but Ezra in this ep is basically himself the McGuffin. Neither the actual, thematic, or emotional conflict in the episode revolves around Ezra even if he’s the instigator of that final showdown. If you can start and end an episode without the show’s main cast (and Rebels differs from TCW in that it did, very specifically, have a main character as well as a main cast), you’ve made a mistake. Not to mention that Twin Suns takes a bunch of narrative and thematic weight that was set in TotA and earlier in S3 (such as the Maul/Kanan and Maul/Ezra parallels), and then completely ignores it in favor of a confrontation that is not going to be emotionally significant for viewers who are there for the show’s main cast.

Darth Vader mostly works in Rebels -- in S2 in isolation, not as part of the greater Rebels plot arc which is a weird hot mess of deescalating villains season by season (a whole ‘nother thing). In Siege of Lothal he’s set up in relation to the main cast and that’s who most of his interaction is with. Same with TotA, though I sometimes think more weight is put on the Vader/Ahsoka duel than should be there in terms of who the main cast are. Sometimes I think it’s fine as is. His other brief appearances are fine, since he’s mostly there just to loom and use up the fabric animation budget.

Tarkin really works in Rebels -- this is honestly Rebels’ biggest legacy character success, my gods, his introduction in Call to Action is terrifying. Did it have to be Tarkin? No, they could have made an OC and had the same role, but Tarkin here, in this context? It ups the tension level a thousand percent, we see him ordering around the Imperials in the show (and the execution scene still gives me chills), and the end of Call to Action, when he’s talking to Kanan on the gunship and orders the destruction of the communications tower? This is easily one of the most terrifying thing Rebels has ever done and to be honest, I’m not sure they ever topped it in terms of sheer presence. Evacuating the star destroyer in Fire Across the Galaxy? Perfect parallel to ANH.

From S2-S4, Rebels really wavers back and forth on their use of legacy characters and this is true of the show as a whole from that point onwards -- when there’s a legacy character, they tend to be overweighted in terms of the episode and in terms of how much narrative space is given to them rather than to the main cast. Not all the time (I have issues with the S4 Mandalore arc, but I think Bo-Katan was played fairly well because most of the narrative weight was still on Sabine), but a lot of the time. The Future of the Force is really bad on this in terms of Ahsoka -- most of the episode is still focused on Kanan and Ezra, but then they’re taken off the board so she can have her dramatic fight scene. Shroud of Darkness -- I go back and forth. (I have other issues with Shroud.) Leia in A Princess on Lothal -- mostly okay, but some weird moments, like using her to rally the Ghost crew into action?

Wedge in The Antilles Extraction -- fine He’s played in relation to Sabine, his presence in the ep is thematically consistent with everything else they’re doing. Saw Gerrera in both S3 and S4 I really go back and forth on. I think I’m mostly okay with him in terms of how he’s played in those four episodes, but I also think there are a lot of questions raised in terms of, like, his relationship to the Alliance. (This goes for his appearance in Jedi Fallen Order as well -- I’m fine with it, it’s not mindblowing, it was nice to see.) Mon Mothma I go back and forth on and part of this is because I’m not entirely sure what they were doing with the Rebel Alliance -- this same thing is true for Saw Gerrera. Especially in the back half of S3 (though it appears earlier as well), Rebels is intersecting more and more with the Rebel Alliance in the lead-up to Rogue One and ANH, but I don’t think they were really entirely sure what they wanted to do with that thematically, which is how we get these wildly varying views of the Alliance even from within it, especially in S4. Which is part of the reason why S4 thematically is A DISASTER. (y’all I should not have come out of S4 hating the Rebel Alliance and I still can’t tell if they did that on purpose or not?)

I’m not mentioning every legacy character in Rebels here (Cham, Hondo, Madine, C-3PO and R2-D2, Bail Organa), but mostly the ones where they pay major roles. Rex I think Rebels mostly managed to pull off having as treating him like supporting cast and not overweighting him as character. -- The clone trio at the beginning of S2 has them in relation to Kanan, Ezra, Kallus and the stormtroopers, etc., not just in relation to themselves.

(I have no idea how to talk about Thrawn in this context because Thrawn isn’t exactly a legacy character from the current canon, but on the other hand he’s a major EU legacy character, so he’s also just a weird god damn case in general that doesn’t really have a parallel in current canon?)

What else we got -- Star Wars Resistance; doesn’t use that many legacy characters but uses the ones it has pretty sparingly. Poe is always there in relation to Kaz, Leia has a very brief appearance, Phasma and Hux are mostly there because it makes sense for them to be there, same with Kylo Ren. Resistance has its issues (both thematically and with pacing) but this is not one of them).

Jedi Fallen Order -- Saw was fine; Vader wasn’t overweighted once he showed up. Battlefront II had its legacy characters almost entirely in context of Iden and Del; they weren’t there just to be there. (And not being a gamer I’m not one hundred percent certain how those two felt in actual playing, vs. my watching them on YT.)

(I am not terribly familiar with the current canon books and comics because I stopped reading them a while ago.)

Non-canon example from Legends: Han Solo’s appearance in the Wraith Squadron novels.

The short version of this is: if you’re going to use legacy characters, you want them to be there in relation to your main cast. It has to work thematically; they can’t undercut your mains. Their stories, no matter how important to the saga as a whole, should not overwhelm the main cast of your actual show/film/game/whatever. And they definitely should not undercut your mains. (I think Mando did this fine with Bo-Katan, tbh.)

#bedlam watches star wars #bedlam watches tcw #bedlam watches rebels #kimothee-chalamet #bedlam replies

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karajaynetoday · 4 years

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hello pals! i was tagged in this by @redrattlers @pxrxmoore @calumrose @rebelwith0utacause! sorry it took me a little while to respond!

feel free to answer all of them or just some of them or just ignore this all together, whatever you’re comfortable with, and then tag however many people you want!

1. what was your first encounter with fanfiction?

i want to say it was probably harry potter fanfiction on mugglenet back the day... love me some draco malfoy redemption arcs in fic

2. your favourite creation of your own of all time if you create stuff (feel free to link it)?

probably the first part of it’s not the pain they’re getting over, it’s the love - which ironically is the first ever piece of 5sos writing i posted but maybe I peaked early lmao

i also wrote a prose called all he had was a letter when I was 16, and always intended to write a novel based on these two characters i have in my head called tom and ellie... maybe one day I’ll get around to it!

3. what vibe are you going for with your home decor (or what vibe do you wanna go for one day, if you don’t have your own place atm)?

ooooh i love this question! so i moved back in with my parents this year after 8 years out of home, so at the moment i’m very much just chilling with whatever decor was already in the spare room. when i move back out again, i’m so excited to have lots of colourful art on the walls, natural tones, cosy and warm vibes. i’m not good at looking after plants, but i like my home to be bright and cheerful and welcoming for anyone that comes to visit :)

4. first fandom you ever joined? what was it like? on what platform did it happen?

harry potter again! on mugglenet, and listening to the mugglecast podcast every week! beyond that, i was first active in the 1D tumblr fandom which was mostly fun, i did lowkey get friendship catfished by someone though which was hella weird but oh well lmao

5. what are your sun, moon and rising signs, and do you think they make sense in relation to how you know yourself?

okay so i know ZERO about the meaning of my signs so if anyone has any thoughts pls tell me bc i am VERY curious haha

i am an aquarius sun (hello calum our birthdays are two days apart), and then my moon and my rising (is ascendent in costar the same as rising? lol) is also leo so idk what that means. i like swimming? lol

6. if you write and/or read fiction (original or fanfiction), do the tropes/plots/character types you typically seek out to read and/or write about reflect something about you as a being or how you see the world?

i am a SUCKER for friends to lovers and there’s only one bed. or family fics. i think it reflects that i yearn for and value relationships based on love and support and comfort and trust and knowing someone so well you can tell what they’re thinking.

7. what is the hardest obstacle you’ve had to overcome so far in life?

one time i worked in a call centre with awful bosses and aggressive customers and my anxiety became so bad that i basically had a mental breakdown and had to quit. i came home for a month or so to recover, and then i was unemployed for about 6 months-ish and spent that entire time job hunting and trying to understand and manage my anxiety. that was the biggest thing i’ve probably overcome.

my other one would be when my grandfather passed away - i love all my grandparents obvs, but he was my absolute favourite human, and he passed away almost six years ago - i miss him often and deeply. in this house we have the loungeroom chair he used to sit in and read the paper, and sometimes i do the same.

8. what is your all time favourite song(s)?

this is FAR TOO HARD to decide sorry but if you want to listen to the pod i do lots of song recs on there haha

9. what do you look for in a person you wanna keep in your life, be it a friend or a romantic partner or anything in between?

i look for trust, respect, and a willingness to care for someone at the same level that they care for me, if that makes sense? especially this year with moving away and then covid, i’ve learnt some valuable lessons about the people that i do want to put love and energy into having friendships with and the ones that i honestly thought would do better that haven’t. i don’t have the time anymore for negativity or fixating on friendships i’ve lost, i want to focus on the ones i have, because i love them.

10. this is a bit of a difficult one, but have you ever had a moment of clarity, a conversation with someone that made you go “oh!”, or anything along those lines?

this is gonna sound cheesy as fuck but in july of this year i stepped into a classroom and taught a lesson for the first time, and afterwards i had this moment of clarity of like yes this absolutely is a career i want to pursure - and that feeling increases with every lesson i get to teach. so that’s really exciting and rewarding, because i basically quit a full time career at the charity of my dreams in melbourne in jan of this year and packed up my life and moved back to the country to study teaching, so it’s a nice feeling to be confident in the decision i’ve made i guess!

this was a good lil brain workout haha

i shall tag @spicycal @irwinkitten @cakesunflower @clumsyclifford @tekweela and @sexgodashton only if you fancy it, no pressure!

hope everyone is having a lovely day!

#tag game #fun times

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themountainsays · 4 years

Text

Unpopular opinion but making Anna and Elsa related to the Northuldra and making their mom indigenous is actually good and less problematic bc it makes it slightly less white savior ish.

I mean imagine if they weren't related to the northuldra at all. Two white princesses show up after their white grandpa king tried to colonize the shit out of the Northuldra and fix everything while the indigenous people sit there uselessly waiting for some white colonizer to save them. Making Iduna northuldra and thus having her daughters be part northuldra doesn't fix everything of course, but it's not a bad decision in itself. In any case it's a GOOD decision that wasn't as thoroughly developed and explored as it should have for it to work properly. And at the end it's implied Elsa lives with the Northuldra and I think its likely she's reconnecting to her mother's people, probably becoming one of them in time, and Anna with her "our lands and people" line also implies she considers the northuldra somewhat her people too.

Sure it's problematic to retcon the two white princesses indigenous if they're going to put so little effort into making it work, but if this was going to be the story, it's less problematic than NOT having them be related to this indigenous people.

If you ask me, i would have included at least one Northuldra main character, who was probably introduced during the deleted prologue scene bc that scene rocks, and Idk have them be the POV character of that scene maybe? Or one of the POV characters alongside tiny Iduna. And then give them almost as much protagonism as the girls once they're reunited. Omg it could be Iduna's mother since she was calling out to her. The scene jumping between their POVs as they try to find each other? OH MY GOD WHAT IF YELENA WAS HER MOM. WHAT IF YELENA IS ANNA AND ELSA'S GRANDMA I WOULD HAVE LOVED THAT. Anyways just give the Northuldra more developed and give them more agency. I would do this by moving the spirit stuff to the side a bit and making more space for the Northuldra-Arendelle conflict. Maybe the two groups are still fighting! Maybe the gang needs to act as a mediator and figure out the truth before they all kill each other? Now you have a ticking clock and stakes, which is exactly what the movie needed. Add that the damn destroying the land, floods, the woods dying, lack of food etc and basically life in the forest getting worse and worse and BAM you got it! High stakes a sense of urgency. At first it looks like there must be a misunderstanding between the groups, or like there's some evil bad guy pulling the strings but no Arendelle just fucked up. Maybe they don't believe Elsa is queen so they don't obey her word? i mean she’s got magic so they might not trust her. And there are like, battle plans and some BIG FINAL PLAN to END THE ENEMY ONCE AND FOR ALL that probably includes Elsa or Anna bc i don't like coincidences so the final missing piece they needed has to be recently introduced. Anyways Yelena (yeah i'm keeping yelena) is not the only important northuldra character, Ryder and Honeymaren should be important too but they don't have to be main characters at the same level of say olaf or krisroff back in the first movie (cos we all know no one comes at the same level as the sisters). The northuldra as a whole need to be important actors in the story. And if their leader is a main character then so should be the leader of the Arendellians so we're promoting Mattias as well. Great now we have two new protagonists. I don't think we NEED more and this movie is still 2 hours long or less so there it is. (This is a great oportunity to show Anna being a leader and do a better job at selling us queen!Anna for the ending). Then we show the girls 1) learn more about their country's true history (sprinkle some historical revisionism themes here and there) and 2) further connect to the Northuldra. Meet their extended family, form a deep emotional connection with them, learn from them, probably have a cool scene at the climax where they win/survive with their new knowledge, and basically slowly become one of them. This would probably require the movie to span a longer period of time. Maaaaybe a month? That would be new! Also cool and a great oportunity for a montage with an epic song. If httyd can do it so can we. Maybe at the Low PointTM they realize compromise is impossible and they need i pick side? And pick the Northuldra hopefully. Maybe Anna is more invested in this plotline (communication, fighting ect) while Elsa takes care of the spiritual side of the isse? Especially if you want to keep the ending. And most importantly: whatever the girls did to save the day, they were helping Yelena. Or following Yelena's plan somehow. Even if Yelena doesn’t literally give them orders that the girls mindlessly follow, make it clear Yelena was the one to provide the knowladge to solve the problem. Or the Northuldra as a whole, but having it be Yelena would feel more fitting. THE GIRLS DO NOT BRING IN NEW KNOWLADGE, INFORMATION OR SOLUTIONS TO THE TABLE. THE NORTHULDRA DO. LET THE NORTHULDRA BE THEIR OWN HEROES. LET THE GIRLS BE THE HEROES ONLY WHEN THEY’RE CHANNELING THEIR INNER NORTHULDRA OR SOMETHING. ONLY BECAUSE THEY’RE SOMEWHAT PART OF THE NORTHULDRA. Maybe it was a comment or something Yelena said during an argument with them? That they remembered later during the climax and finally understand the solution or something idk. the solution is probably to destroy the dam i guess. In any case, the girls discover some stuff in the forest that allow them to re-contextualize the information the Northuldra already had, or maybe they only put the pieces together after having a Character Arc that allowed them to see the solution and that’s why Yelena couldn’t just tell them what to do and be done with it because they didn’t actually get it idk.

Also, this is my personal opinion but the world of frozen 2 felt weirdly empty. i would have expanded it by having a bigger arendellian military camp, like a small city, probably stone constructions such as abandoned watch towers and shit, maybe an abandoned village destroyed by the spirits? places for the gang to explore, find information about the past and traces of the truth and shit. Also, more Northuldra. More Northuldra is always good. Maybe there are different tribes or clans of the same nation, and they’re all somewhat dinstinctive, hopefully drawing inspiration from the different sámi groups? Maybe Yelena’s clan lives in the forest, but then there are others who live further north in the frozen tundra or high in the mountains idk dude but that would have been super cool, if the girls had to connect and get to know all the different Northuldra groups? also, worldbuilding. i love worldbuilding.

Give the northuldra characters arcs! Give them personality! Give them inner conflict! And tune down the magic native noble savage planet of hats bs. Yes i know those are not the same things. Give me Northuldra who are assholes, or who don’t have a knack for spiritual shit, or who are not happy with how things are done. Snarky Northuldra. Funny Northuldra. Northuldra with dreams and fears and agency. Just have a few background characters make offhand comments about literally anything that could make it look like they have personality and develop Honeymaren and Ryder a little bit more. Maybe the leader previous to Yelena was this very spiritual person and Yelena is... not. And doesn’t get along with the spirits. And can’t seem to live up to what is needed of her. Elsa being suuuuuper in tune with the spirits would probably be Not Cool in this scenario but I think it can be well made if they both learned how to better connect to the spirits togehter? Helping each other and shit. Maybe Elsa connects to them in a more personal level because she knows how they feel, being treated as monsters, and approaches them like you would approach a traumatized person rather than a dangerous animal. And Yelena actually KNOWS stuff about spirits so yeah she’d still have more tools and knowladge than Elsa no matter how much she relates to them, and could actually teach her about them and how not to get killed whenever she tries to have therapy with them.

Probably have the sisters slowly adopt bits and pieces of Northuldra culture, to show they’re reconnecting to their mother’s people (all of it allowed by yelena obvs. Yelena is like “I think you’re ready for this” and gives Anna some cool Northuldra weapon. Possibly a sword. please. give anna a sword).

Going back to Mattias for a bit, if he’s supposed to represent The Bad Guys aka Arendelle, give him a redemption arc, to represent that Runeard wasn’t just one evil individual. Arendelle’s colonialism is an Arendelle problem and ALL of Arendelle needs to adress it and fix its crimes. Maybe he has an enemies-to-friends story with Yelena? That would be nice.

As you can see, Frozen 2 would have needed a lot of fixing for the Northuldra plot to work, but Anna and Elsa being part indigenous is NOT the problem. People in real life DO reconnect with their indigenous heritage. Sometimes. I know I would love to connect to mine but I think it’s a bit too late for my family, which is why I love Frozen 2 so much. idk if i like it, but damn if I didn’t cry watching it. I do think the writers should have to consult a lot of indigenous people and take their word very seriously to write this kind of story, but that can be done! They have the time space and resources for that! Frozen 2 COULD have been a story about the girls reconnecting to their indigenous heritage and finding their place and their people. God knows being mixed will give you like 5 identity crisis at the same time. I’m actually kind of writing a fic about it. If this was the story they wanted to tell, Anna and Elsa being mixed is not the problem. It is, in fact, part of an unfinished, abandoned solution.

#frozen 2 #northuldra #meta #kinda #theory?#yelena #iduna #elsa #anna #criticism #fix-it #i guess?#mattias #worldbuilding #enchanted forest

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harrysdimples · 3 years

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evermore track by track review (reaction?)

you know what time it is babieeeeeee......

willow

lovely little plucky guitar. I like the piano arrangement in the background. her vocals sound really lovely in the chorus and in the back of the second verse. i’m going to try and judge this as a separate project from folklore because it’s supposed to be just a complementary project but inevitably there will be comparisons. the 1 as an opening track is probably my preference over this I think on first listen. the bridge (?) is probably my favourite part of the song before the 90s trend line lol (just takes me out the song, kinda like the tweet line that’s in the lakes) but her vocals and how mature her voice sounds are just really light and airy and it’s nice to hear. but this is a lot more rhythmic than most of folklore which is something I appreciate and has enough dynamics so that you’re not bored, although the outro could’ve maybe been shortened a bit (but that’s a nitpicky thing lol). that’s her man!

ok I realised half way through happiness that I HAD PUT THE ALBUM ON SHUFFLE BY ACCIDENT WHICH IS BLASPHEMOUS AND SOMETHING I HATE DOING. I apologise sincerely lmao every song after this is in order with the album track list.

happiness

love a synth. ‘I can’t face reinvention’ ok bitch call me out ??? the lyrics are very lovely, as always. what’s/who’s this about ? lmao. it’s very pretty but not sure it’s going anywhere? more instrumentation could’ve maybe elevated this song just because I feel the lyrics are so flowery and beautiful that they deserve to either be in complete isolation (like from the dining table’s production) or some grandiose orchestral arrangement to properly show off how great and genuinely heartbreaking they are. I have no doubt at some point i’ll lie in the dark at some point and sob to this though loooool.

champagne problems

ah bitch. the opening line already got me. again, the lyrics on this one are cutting me deep and I really like the production in the second half of the song, it really picks up the song when I was worried the production wasn’t going to be for me. the background vocals and harmonies are lovely. I think the lyricism of this song is so important and reminds me of what jack said in the long pond sessions about people with mental health issues never receiving proper recognition for just doing as okay as they can be because to other people, it’s either not enough or they just don’t get how difficult it is to maintain that level of ‘normalcy’. The idea of people dismissing things as ‘champagne problems’ is so poignant when you think of the fact that so many people disregard mental health issues until they’re directly affected by it in some way and treat others as outsiders/bad apples/something to only remember as a cautionary tale and to be forgotten otherwise. the numbness of trying to feel things (like going on the train) and participating in life and trying to believe that you deserve something good, a relationship, love etc but knowing that people are only waiting for you to fail so they can inevitably move on is so sad. my favourite out of the 3 tracks so far.

gold rush

good old jack antonoff production. girl how many people are wanting to get with joe ???? I really like the lyricism again, and the ‘what must it be like to grow up that beautiful’ bit kinda reminds of olivia’s instrumentation for some reason lol. I wish this hit a little harder because it’s on the precipice of greatness but doesn’t get quite there for me, kinda like the archer. loved the production, but I had anticipated it to have this big build up which it didn’t quite hit for me. I am listening to this currently at night with my blinds shut but I know that when it’s in the daytime/sun this will sound so good, so i’m excited to replay this one. update: it’s the next day and I LOVE this.

tis the damn season

hm. this one was pretty middling for me i’m ngl. I don’t think i’ve had enough love/life experience to really relate to this that much (which isn’t taylor or the song’s fault obvs) but I found it hard to ~connect to and the production didn’t really excite me enough to feel too passionate about it. very much enjoyed the “So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends, Who'll write books about me, if I ever make it” line though lol!

tolerate it

I really like this. really encapsulated the feeling of trying your hardest to meet someone’s expectations of you/your relationship and fitting yourself into parameters to suit their needs/what they want and yet you’re still considered on the outskirts of their life. Trying desperately to make that person care as much as you do for them, but in reality your actions just further the reasons why they don’t want you and why your actions are ignored/silently belittled. Feels like this is a good companion piece to a lot of the folklore tracks and could’ve fitted on that album yet is still different enough to stand out. will def be coming back to this.

no body, no crime (feat. HAIM)

ok so taylor’s having her before he cheats moment?? someone should be working on a mashup asap. you know i’m a sucker for country yeehaw bops so i’ll definitely be playing this on repeat lol, so far probably the most upbeat track along with gold rush and this is probably my favourite track so far. the storytelling through the lyricism is fabulous and I really love the little production elements like danielle saying “she was with me dude” lol, I don’t have a lot of experience/references for “real” country music so if this is a little corny idk but I like it anyway lmao

dorothea

this was a sweet song, might be completely off the mark with this interpretation, but I sort of viewed this as taylor speaking to her younger self and telling her how she can always go back to who she was after becoming too enchanted with fame and the troubles that come with it/experiencing the consequences of fame, and that inevitably it’ll be okay in the end. a nice reassuring, pleasant song. not sure how much replay value it’ll have for me personally but I appreciate it :’)

coney island feat. the national

I like this for the most part. I think it’ll be a grower but I can see this moving up in my ranks once I listen to it a bit more. the second half of the song after the bridge is definitely better than the first and I really like it, but the first half isn’t my favourite. I think within some of the lyrics there are some clunky lines and I’m not sure how well the dueting partner works (idk if that’s aaron dessner or someone else?) but I think another softer (?) male voice could’ve gone better with it, or just taylor herself. the instrumentation and production on this song is fantastic though and I really love the bridge (although the idea of joe and taylor coming together to write about all of taylor’s exes makes me lol)

ivy:

the chord progression really reminds me of like 80% of folklore and idk if this track was “necessary” even though she’s perfectly entitled to her art obvs. but in the context of the album idk if this was needed, probably the most filler-like of all of them so far (for me personally). it’s sort of like a long poem to me and the subject matter of infidelity is always interesting when taylor covers it, but idk, this didn’t do too much for me on first listen

cowboy like me

this feels like a movie or video game soundtrack song, I always appreciate a good guitar solo and the instrumentation in this song is great. I don’t know how much this goes anywhere until the bridge but I love the line “now you hang from my lips, like the gardens of babylon, with your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con”. I think this has the potential to be a major grower on me though purely bc of how melodic it is and how “vibey” it is.

long story short

yeah this wasn’t really for me. I can appreciate it’s objectively a well produced song with some good lyrics, it just didn’t really click for me sadly upon first listen.

marjorie

yeah so this made me sob. as some of you may know I lost my grandma two weeks ago suddenly so...yeah, this song just really hit me. this is a beautiful track.

closure

what is going on here on this day lmao? reaaaaaaallly not a fan of the production and the synthetic (?) drums that were used on this track and I don’t think the use of repetition in the chorus’ lyricism really works that well here. idk it just feels a little unfinished to me

evermore feat. bon iver

I think this is too lyrically dense for my brain to properly intake after the long road it took to get to this track lol so I think i’ll need some time with it. I don’t think bon iver’s addition works as well as exile but I like the second half of the song which he’s in, in comparison to the first half, it does kinda feel like two songs put into one though. taylor’s vocals sound nice though.

in conclusion:

favourites: tolerate it, gold rush, champagne problems, no body, no crime, marjorie

in between/grower: cowboy like me

meh: tis the damn season, willow, doreathea, evermore

didn’t really like: ivy, long story short, closure

I feel like i’m going to be crucified for saying this but this feels like a lover-fied version of folklore ajfkhsas if that makes ANY sense to anyone but my own brain. I said when I did this same kind of post for folklore that the album did what the concept for lover tried to do (the love letter to different kinds of love) 10x better and I was happy to see this kind of direction from her. I still love folklore and I think it’s a true piece of art and it ranks high in my tiers of taylor albums, but this just kinda misses the mark for me for the most part (on first listen). It’s very lyrically dense, which is nice, but much less accessible than folklore to me in terms of melodies and the overall structure of some of the songs, which is again, fine, but not necessarily what I had anticipated going into this album and generally usually isn’t my thing. for all that i’ve said about jack’s production in some songs on previous albums of taylor’s, his presence here is missed imo. I’ve expressed that I don’t particularly enjoy long albums because eventually the flow of the album is lost, and that is true here. around the ivy/long story short stretch it kinda loses ground which is a shame because there is some beautiful lyricism in there, but it’s even more susceptible to risking being brought down by the sequencing when it’s a sister album to another project and will end up being compared to that and the tracks there. given the style of music this is in, the fact that it’s a sister album and so long, it’s got a lot against it and I don’t know if it manages to overcome those hurdles for me personally. It’s like what harry said about sequencing, the track listing is so important imo to the purpose and arc of the album that you want to tell and I feel like there could’ve been a lot more “editing” of this project to make it stand up to the highs of folklore imo, or potentially editing down folklore to combine it with some of the really strong tracks on evermore like goldrush, no body no crime etc. I don’t know if the narrative of this album is unique enough to stand against folklore and some of taylor’s other albums for me. I will be returning to these songs for sure, but the sequencing and overall structure of this album kinda lets it down. I can’t help but ponder if this album will age well in comparison to folklore, or both albums will age well with the narrative fuelling it being created in quarantine and as a product of boredom. if folklore wins AOTY at the grammys (which it seems it’s secured to at this point), it’s going to be tied to the “corona year” so it’ll be interesting to see where these projects end up and how well received they are in years to come vs taylor’s other projects and how they’ve aged. we’ll see! i’d probably give it a 7.5/10 in comparison to the 9/10 for folklore.

#ruth rambles #taylor swift

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obeymematches · 3 years

Note

Hi!! Could I get a matchup if you dont mind? I'm an indian who has black hair brown skin and I'm 5'4 with a little bit of chub I'm abrosexual and ace. Im an introvert and a big nerd for video games and I have adhd and depression too and I hyperfixate a lot. I usually forget to eat and sleep too unless I pass out and honestly really ba at taking care of my health. (1/2)

I have terrible stage fright and problems with authority and impulsive and honestly I do NOT get good grades though I'm always told I'm smarter than my age. I always seem calm but usually I'm freaking out about small things. I always wear oversized clothing amd I have glasses and I love cuddles but it takes me a while to actually trust a person to even remotely touch them . I'm not afraid to use harsh language to show when someone is being a piece of trash(2/2) Sorry forgot to put my name in but my name's robin and I usually go by she/her

Hi Robin!

thank you for sending a request!

okay so this made me think.. i want to give you someone caring and loving who reminds you to take care of yourself (or step in when needed) and encourages self-love. i’m thinking about Beel and Simeon. though i definitely see you and Levi be best friends??? i mean if you are into best friends to lovers then go ahead he’s right there???

actually you know what i’m going to write that for you!

obv it started out as best friends, that’s just the way it is with dear Levi, but that’s okay, at least you can know exactly what you get into

becoming his best friend comes quite naturally as you are not so obnoxious as his older brother and he can definitely game with you, so you have something to bond over

you are going to have no choice but to listen to his anime related rants but thats just lovely, knowing how passionate he can be about the things he loves is never bad. but thats ok because you also have hyperfixations which you can talk about!

once he starts getting attached he can become quite clingy, hopefully you’re down for that

that includes helping out each other in your studies when needed! he isn’t an A+ student either but thats ok, it’s not the grades that matter anyway

Leviathan would never make a move and he is going to remind you about your title (which is “best friend”) on the regular

however you know him well enough to notice him changing a bit over time when he is around you

by this i mean he is suddenly more quiet? he surprises you with gifts out of nowhere? you think this is cute and sweet so you can’t help but like him more, though you are also concerned because this is new?? then he disappears??? being the tsundere he is

i think asmo will be a big tease in the situation but he means well!!! he knows love when he sees it!! jealous mammon in the background

ig eventually you’ll have to talk about this with levi, like did you upset him, what is going on?? eventually he would come up to you and would want to talk about what is going on but for that to happen he would have to be pushed a bit (either by you or one of his brothers)

anyways he is super concerned about your well-being too, I mean you two been gaming all night and you didn’t even touch the snacks?? babe what is going on

he would definitely bake somehting delicious for you just to spoil you a bit because thats what his love deserves!!!!! he is good at baking!!

i mean you could wear his clothes to have that oversized look going on and flustrate him to near death at the same time

i don’t think he would be trashy though, like as i said he can have his confusing tsundere tendencies (and all those self-deprecating monologues) but the fact that you can call him out when needed is kind of a kink of his so you got that going for you too

but like once you establish a relationship he is. soft. so soft. spoils you so much how dare you not been taking care of yourself noooo!!

on the other hand though he would also need some extra care because he can be quite anxious especially in social situations, so be prepared to offer your support too!

other than that i don’t think there could ever possibly be any issues? and like over time i think the two of you would take good care of the other as you are so dear to one another obviously you’d want the best for them

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #om! levi #obey me matchup

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stilwaterskeeter · 5 years

Text

Rewriting Saints Row the Third

So I was messing around writing about my Boss earlier for @occorner and wound up kind of just rewriting entire pieces of SRTT rather than just making small alterations for the character.....So I went ahead and followed through on that accident and wrote out how I personally think a lot of the hollow writing and poor executions of certain parts of the game could have been better and improved. It ended up being a lot more than I was expecting so I’m putting it under a read more. I split it up into 2 parts: Story Changes and Character Changes. And then both of those are broken into smaller parts for each mission arc (the gangs/STAG/dlc) and each character individually.

Also this is just for fun, if you don’t like it then you don’t like it. There’s no point in reblogging this or replying just because you don’t like it yknow? Don’t waste both your time and mine just because you don’t agree with something I just did for the fun of it.

And if you guys like this uuuhhh shoot me a message/ask, I’d totally be down to chat about this stuff and maybe even make more posts like this for the other games in the future!!!

EDIT: Hi....somebody made me regret my decision to keep Kiki’s death canon...so I changed it...thankfully it didn’t have any huge affect on the core of the rewrite, and in fact only very little affect at all

Plot/Story Specific Changes:

Johnny Gat’s “Death”:

Johnny’s “death” wasn’t real obvs, it was like part of Gangstas in Space, like at the beginning that leads up to them going to space and stuff. But in reality Johnny was just kidnapped, cloned, and saved by the Saints after Act 1, but his kidnapping and everything gave the Boss the idea for Johnny’s “death” in the movie

You find Johnny about halfway through the Morningstar mission arc, but he would be seen in a few Syndicate cutscenes beforehand and a lot of implications that he wasn’t actually dead before that

Morningstar:

Loren actually gets like a better mission line following up to and including his death that isn’t just recycled activities disguised as missions

This also includes like a mini-boss fight with the DeWynter twins, that ultimately leads up to them joining the Saints as double agents

Loren gets a boss battle with The Boss, Shaundi, and Johnny fighting him while Pierce and Oleg keep other enemies out of the way and it ends with Johnny getting to personally deal the killing blow and give Loren a beat down like he gave Shogo in SR2 (although definitely not as intense or dark)

Deckers:

I think the biggest things I’d leave the same is the Deckers mission line, I actually don’t think those need to be changed hardly at all, outside of maybe having one or two more story missions without the compulsory activities

STAG:

I would downplay STAG a lot because they were just a weak Ultor carbon copy and took up way too much of SRTT than it should have

I wouldn’t change too much of the STAG missions but I would wait until later in the game to bring them in. Give STAG one or two missions before Murderbrawl XXXI and do the rest afterward

Miscellaneous:

This goes for like literally all 4 arcs, but replace a lot of the compulsory activities with actual unique missions. I think doing One iteration of each activity first is alright because it goes to be like something as a tutorial for them, but past Once, they shouldn’t be reoccuring

Add in one or two missions about The Saints trying to find where Killbane was hiding by interrogating Luchadores and stuff during the STAG arc and then Threeway happens and you find out Killbane is leaving while you’re fighting STAG

Also take out that last choice as a whole no question about it, The Boss lets Killbane get away and saves Shaundi, Viola, and Burt no matter what

While taking the decision out of Threeway, Johnny would go with Angel to try and stop and kill Killbane while The Boss goes to save Shaundi

Ultimately they don’t get there in time but Gat does get a few shots in, injuring Killbane pretty badly in the leg and probably having temporarily crippled him

DLC:

I think instead of the Trouble with the Clones DLC, instead you would get a DLC involving Killbane after he fled the city where you get to fight him and ultimately kill him yourself

It’d be called something like Winner Takes All or like Hell in a Cell which are two types of wrestling matches for those who don’t know. (Winner Takes All is exactly what it sounds like and Hell in a Cell is a cage match with no Escape Clause which is why I think either would fit for names)

Speaking of, make that DLC a double whammy and include Dex, as a business partner with Killbane that you get to fight as well

Angel is a required homie through most of these missions, he helps keep random enemies off your back so you can personally fight and kill Dex, and in turn, you get another mission similar to Murderbrawl XXXI where Angel gets to personally fight Killbane while you take out random enemies, however you also get to help Angel more directly by tossing him weapons to use against Killbane or to use something like a mounted gun to weaken Killbane when he’s cheating and getting the upperhand against Angel

Character Specific Changes:

Zimos:

His character as a whole is,,,,bad imo, so while I didn’t just totall omit him, he’s more or less just a character that The Boss works with to hurt the Syndicate, he’s not really a Saint, just like an accomplice. He would still become a homie at some point though

As a homie he has idle lines to ask how the twins are and The Boss will ask about the secret past and Zimos just says something like “Don’t ask, don’t tell, my man” or keeps the “That’s on a need to know basis, and you don’t need to know” line from the actual game

Angel:

Because I would take out the decision in Threeway and The Boss would let Killbane go, he holds a bit of a grudge and cannot be called as a homie until you have another quick cutscene and short mission where you talk and spar with Angel to help him get out some of his frustration at letting Killbane go

The Boss promises they’re still going to get Killbane because they’re not going to give up that easily

Maybe have The Boss tell Angel about Dex and relate to him while talking about how Dex was one of their best friends and then betrayed them, they never got their revenge but they haven’t given up just yet

Angel and Johnny friendship too!! You can’t tell me they wouldn’t be pals, they spar and talk shit about Killbane a lot

They also trade stories of past fights they’ve been in

Johnny also gives Angel a hardtime because he’s fuckin filthy and lives in such disarray

When Angel tries to snap back with the “so you hate discomfort” Gat shoots back with how the main Saints safehouse was ruins of an old hotel under an abandoned church in the really poor red light district and how before that it was an abandoned church also in one of the poorest areas of Stilwater. He’d definitely say something like “It’s not that I hate discomfort, it’s that I’ve lived that shit for way too long and got out, and I’m not planning on going back to that crap just because some bitch “shamed” me.” The banter becomes somewhat a weird and very Gat-esque peptalk

Viola & Kiki DeWynter:

They both join the Saints and work with them in secret against the Syndicate when Killbane takes over and Loren is killed

Viola and Kiki obviously both get more character development

Viola actually ends up being good friends with Shaundi

Kiki on the other hand ends up better friends with Johnny and they trade snarky remarks whenever everyone is planning out missions and when the Boss makes dumb decisions and shit

Johnny and Kiki end up bonding over small things like their concerns with their looks and just both being the more outspoken and witty counterparts in duos (Johnny’s other half being The Boss and Kiki’s being Viola)

Kiki and Johnny never fail to annoy the shit out of Shaundi because there’s just no end to the snark

Kiki also ends up liking Kinzie, meaning Kinzie gets TWO sisters, Viola AND Kiki, Kinzie couldn’t be happier

As homies, the twins have idle lines about how weird it is The Boss works for Zimos sometimes and ask to make sure The Boss never drags them along when they go to do jobs with Zimos, but they’ll never say why

Killbane threatens to kill Kiki after learning that the twins have double crossed him and are working with The Saints. He takes her as like a “hostage” and sends Viola to go tell The Saints to come “rescue” her while in reality it’s a trap and he’s using Kiki as the bait.

This adds depth to his character and makes him more than just some idiot meatsack who’s powerhungry. He’s a gangleader, he knows how to lead and how to manipulate and how to fucking plan things out further than “HUR DUR ME PUNCH THINGS AND MAKE THEM BLEED”

Viola, ever the realist, knows the likelihood that Killbane has Matt wired into her phone or The Saints’ crib or something so that he would know if she tried betraying him and told The Saints that it’s a trap. So she of course doesn’t tell them, she goes along with his plan all the while thinking of her own plan on how to get out of this problem.

Kiki on the other hand absolutely lets The Saints know it’s a trap as soon as she feasibly can, it’s not much but it does give them a slight upperhand for a minute in the ensuing fight

It’s like a miniboss battle with Killbane, towards the end when it’s obvious The Boss is gonna win, he picks Kiki up in preparation to snap her neck. But Viola shoots at his hand a few times and causes him to drop her sister, he then runs off and Johnny, Angel, and Shaundi chase after him but Viola and The Boss stick around to check on Viola

Kiki got struck by one of the stray bullets on her face, it definitely leaves a nasty scar and fucks up her left eye pretty badly in the long run

Kiki is for the most part out of commission as a homie after the whole kidnapping nonsense, but Viola is as ready as ever to fuckin’ go to town and kill some fuckers now

It’s her way of handling the guilt of almost losing her sister because they didn’t cover their tracks good enough and then by her own attempt to save Kiki, caused her sister to lose an eye

Johnny had taken Loren’s eyepatch kind of as a trophy after killing him, he very awkwardly gives it to Kiki after the mission claiming she probably needs it more than he does right now and seeing as it was Loren’s, she should probably have it regardless

Oleg:

Oleg actually has some of the most depth out of the new characters so I wouldn’t change much if anything?

He definitely would have a love/hate relationship with Johnny

They just don’t get along and butt heads but also they bond over their hatred of Loren/The Syndicate and having been used for the cloning experiments

Johnny also would think Oleg is like badass and cool as fuck and he’d make bets about what outrageous things he thinks Oleg can or cannot lift/destroy with his bare hands

Oleg would also have a lot of respect for Johnny for being such an seemingly average human but still having so much strength and being such a force to be reckoned with

Kinzie:

Kinzie is definitely the company’s favorite because she easily has the most content and depth of any of the other new characters and even more than pre-SRTT characters in SR4 so there’s little to no changes to be done

That being said, I really would want Kinzie and Johnny to also have a love/hate type relationship in SRTT that eventually drops the hate

Like Johnny does Not understand half the shit Kinzie says and she’s really pushy and he just hates it at first and Kinzie hates how he doesn’t listen a lot like the whole situation in SR4 where Kinzie’s always talking about how The Boss doesn’t listen to her and stuff? But with Gat,,,who is worse about it let’s be honest

But throughout the game they both start garnering more respect for the other

Like sometimes Gat’s headstrong guns-blazing outlook pays off a lot better than Kinzie was expecting and Gat’s also totally down to do whatever dangerous and reckless and heavy-lifting work she offers which is useful as hell for Kinzie

And sometimes Gat’s “wing it” planning bites him in the ass and Kinzie saves his ass because she planned how to finish the missions when he didn’t listen because he never listens and she wanted to be prepared for anything

Ultimately they have a very Older Brother-Younger Sister type relationship with Gat becoming really protective of Kinzie and totally laughing his ass off and siding with her when she and The Boss have disagreements/get into fights

Shaundi:

Give her back all that character development and exploration of her depression and survivor’s guilt!! why was that cut!! put it back!!

Additional cutscenes and stuff with Johnny and also The Boss sometimes talking about how Johnny going missing and being believed to be dead scared her and how it affected her

This also means we get to see some of Johnny’s soft side and his pisspoor attempts to comfort her

but also Johnny probably also gets on her case about it like Once because “Well I’m not dead so you can stop worryin’ about it, Shaundi” and it starts a whole little fight that The Boss eventually steps in and settles it

Also Shaundi & Viola friendship: I already mentioned it but just...think about it again ok...

It starts as a rivalry and then they start bonding when Kiki and Johnny are getting closer

They both cannot stand Johnny and Kiki’s snark

And then both of their respective best friends are preoccupied hanging out which leaves them awkwardly hanging out at times

Turns out Viola was actually a fan of Shaundi’s show and at one point considered signing up herself just for the hell of it

Shaundi is completely shocked and they end up doing like impromptu joke-y rounds to get to know each other to pass the time

This includes idle lines when they’re both a homie where they’re laughing while Shaundi asks Viola random questions about herself and stuff and Viola answers

Also completely trash Shaundi’s weird jealousy/hate against Kinzie

Maybe have her as wary and holding a bit of a grudge because Kinzie’s an ex-fed at first, but ultimately they get past it pretty quickly

Most of their conversations seen and stuff are them talking tech or talking about their relationships with other characters, there’s a few where Kinzie tries digging into Shaundi’s past and Shaundi tries to dig back though

Also definitely maybe talk/show her development between SR2 and SRTT more rather than just suddenly dropping such a dramatic collection of changes and “development” immediately and not really elaborating a lot yknow?

Pierce:

There’s not much I would change because I actually liked his character development a lot, it wasn’t as abrupt and dramatic feeling as Shaundi’s and he had a decent amount of depth so I don’t think there’s much to add aside from what you would expect from his dialogues with Johnny and Kiki

Johnny:

This is just here to be respectful, pretty much 99% of everything I have to say for Johnny has been said in all the other sections

#saints row #saints row the third #johnny gat #kinzie kensington #viola dewynter #kiki dewynter #shaundi #angel de lameurte #oleg kirrlov #srtt #stop talkin playa #rewriting saints row #also peep the lowkey shaundi/viola and johnny/kiki

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cutiecrates · 5 years

Text

Cutie Reviews: Tokyo Treat April 19

Okay, so it occurred to me that I accidentally marked last months TokyoTreat as February <3< I hope that didn’t confuse anyone like it did me. . .

“Happy Easter to our awesome TokyoTreat family! We hope you’re ready for an exciting mix of treats in your box this month. We have a number of sweet and savory treats for you and pulled together a box of treats we hope will get you into the Easter spirit! Lookout for some special fruity flavors, crunchy crispy texures, and an all-around fun box! Are you ready? We certainly are, so please enjoy this month’s Easter Surprise box!“

Lucky Treat & Contest Prizes

(I always forget to take these pics, but since I had room I decided to get them before starting :P)

For this months Lucky Treat we have a whole plethora of Pokemon-themed goods x3 from sweets and snacks to home goods to various random knick-knacks and cuddly new plush. This would be perfect for any Pokemon fan.

Meanwhile, the prize features some adorable shiba, and some Pokemon desk figurines. They all look like a lot of fun~

Sakura Cola

Our first item is this really pretty pink Sakura Cola drink. Now, originally we were supposed to have a Banana Yogurt Fanta drink, but because of everything related to the box being curated months in advance and the last-minute switch, this new drink wasn’t put into the booklet. Instead we got a note about it, explaining that because this was such a new drink and everyone has been requesting Sakura-flavored items, they had to include this.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

I wasn’t disappointed by the last-minute swap in drink items, and I love this shade of pink so I fell in love with this drink quickly. Unfortunately, as pretty as it looks... its taste is weird.

It’s sort of like... a really light or bland cola, with a faint floral aftertaste that lingers. I can’t really say it reminds me of previous Sakura/cherry blossom tastes I’ve had. It does have a smoothness to it though, and I feel like the more I drink the better it gets. But it’s still a little weird to me.

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Our DIY for the month is a Chocolate Banana Soft Candy DIY kit we’ve already had before. I think around last Easter or some months ago, I do remember it though so I won’t be doing a review post on it. It’s great if you like easy to no instructions and like banana- but it tastes very artificial to me and the only part I like is the chocolate and candy...

Tohato Caramel Corn Tiramisu & Good Moist Chocolate

Our first item is the ever-so-popular Tohato Caramel Corn in Tiramisu flavor. This chocolate is baked with cocoa flavors and those in the tiramisu dessert, and it’s enhanced with coffee to add that extra touch.

The entire bag is 425 calories; so you shouldn’t eat these all at once or alone. I can’t say this brand is healthy, but in small doses it’s okay.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Okay, so I never actually had real tiramisu before; I think I tried it once in a set of exotic puddings I bought at the store, but it wasn’t like the actual dessert.

However, I think this tastes delicious. They’re light chocolate with a pinch of saltiness and coffee. The coffee isn’t really bitter or anything, and until reading the information i didn’t realize there was coffee flavoring in this.

If you don’t like coffee I’m not sure how you would like these; but I feel like they’re tolerable, unless you’re extremely sensitive to it.

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To go with these, with also have this off-brand bag of good moist chocolate, which is chocolate said to melt in the mouth. These come in circle shapes, but as you can see in the picture there are also some heart-shaped ones. I’m not sure why but I think it’s adorable~♥

The entire bag is 192kcal, and they have a crispy texture and are completely soaked in chocolate.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

See, now these actually taste bitter. They’re not bad or anything, and I like dark chocolate a lot, but I don’t think that’s what they use in these... and I found them to be meh. The booklet says they melt in your mouth (they also like these way more than I do :P), but I didn’t enjoy them enough to wait and find out. I noticed a little melting but nothing too extreme or exciting...

Okin Milk Coffee Crisps & Banana Kit-Kats

Next up we have some milk coffee-flavored little crisps (that reminds me a teensy big of fossilized dinosaur heads) by coming in a cutesy bag that resembles a canned drink!

The entire bag is 77kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

These remind me a lot of a cereal, like the rice puffs from the previous box. They taste good, a lot more coffee-ish than the tiramisu caramel corn and it lingers in the mouth more noticeably. They don’t taste bitter but again if you don’t like coffee you might not be fond on these.

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Next is an item I won’t be reviewing because we’ve had it before. These banana kit-kats are exactly the same as last years Easter box; nothing is different. They have a banana milk-ish taste I find tolerable- but I still don’t like bananas, so I usually share these ones more than the others :P

Furuta Egg Chocolate & Rice Puff Bar

Our next item is a fun one- because not only does it come in this neat egg container to go with the holiday, but the egg came in a few different colors :D but as you can see, the inside candy is essentially non-marked, dull colored M&Ms.

I’ve decided not to review these ones because hasn’t everyone had M&Ms at least once? they have a crunchy non-flavored candy shell over chocolate; which tastes a bit different than M&Ms do.

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Meanwhile, this is kind of a not-really funny story, but when I used the rice puff in this I though it was sweet because last months were. I prefer savory rice snacks, and I was very delighted to find out this was!

Sorta, it’s made with sweet soy sauce- which is absolutely one of my most favorite things ever~

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The only way this could be better would be if the soy sauce flavoring was stronger. But to be fair it might have been back when I got this, I don’t know, it wasn’t opened beforehand.

The flavoring is light, so I want to say it’s a great blend of both sweet and savory, because it doesn’t bring to mind sugary cereal, nor does it remind one of a rice dish. It reminded me a lot of something I had before, but I can’t think of what...

Anpanman Mini-Chocolate Lollipop & Sherbet Cola Candy Stick

Who doesn’t love a good lollipop now and then? Our first item in this set is an adorable Anpanman chocolate lollpop featuring the adorable Dokinchan (my favorite anpanman character). The chocolate is half strawberry and half milk, and this is a mini one, so as you can assume they do have bigger ones. I have seen them before.

The brand is Fujiya, and this is 30kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It’s very tasty, it reminds me a lot of those yummy apollo chocolates. The only disappointing thing is that its gone in like two seconds ;P

(Also, as a side note the top piece the chocolate is on resembles Anpanman. On the opposite end is Dokinchan, they’re so cute~)

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Our partner item is an adorable cola-flavored lollipop in a sherbet powder. The powder tastes like soda (the blue kind in Japanese candy obvs) and it has a little bit of foaminess to it~

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Both flavors individually and together are delicious. The powder has a bit of a tanginess to it but it isn’t sour or anything, while the lollipop is sort of a mild-sweetness, so it’s not overly sugary or anything. It’s just perfect :3 I loved every second of it.

Kappa Shrimp 4-pack & Garlic Edamame Chips

Our next items are both by the brand Calbee (which I didn’t realize when I took the picture, but the color should have tipped me off?), first is the 4-pack set of Kappa Shrimp, which I won’t be reviewing because we’ve already had it before.

I will say this though. Each bag is 60 kcal, and if you like light crunchy snacks and the flavor of shrimp you’ll probably like these? A few years ago I loved eating shrimp but then I got over it, and I really don’t like seafood as a whole, so these I’m... eh, with. By that I mean, they’re not my favorite, but I don’t actually hate them.

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I always get excited when we get Japanese Chips; I’m not a huge chip fan, but I love their unique flavors! This time we got a bag of sweet edamame mixed with salty garlic to create a lovely, delicious, and crunchy blend.

Each bag is 305kcal. Which is kind of a lot, but if you share them or eat them in a few sittings it’s not so bad.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I can’t say these taste sweet or salty, they’re actually pretty peppery if you ask me. They make me think of a really yummy garlic bread with a hint of edamame, and they have a hard crunch- which I usually dislike since it makes my mouth sore, but I find it tolerable in this case~

Dragon Bar Umaibo & Corn Potage Crisps

These our are final 2 items, a special and unique Umaibo (which was part of a collab with a game I forgot the name of...) said to be “Dragon“ flavored. If you’re curious in this, I’ve seen it on Blippo.com, and the TokyoTreat online store might have them in...

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

So if you don’t like spoilers I’d suggest not reading this next part.

Dragon flavor is actually Soda. It tastes exactly like soda flavoring and seems a little foamy. It’s very weird, but I don’t hate it.

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The final item is more up my alley :P it’s a corn potage snack and if you’ve been around long, you’ll remember my most favorite Umaibo is the corn potage one. So whenever we have corn portage or just corn flavored anything, I always have high hopes it’ll be good~

The bag is only 48kcal, so I feel like this would be a nice snack to have because you get a lot of them per-bag.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

They’re very delicious~ They have a typical corn/corn potage flavor and are lightly crisp. I would recommend them if you see them.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 5 out of 5. Everything was very tasty, and if you like banana you’d probably love this one. Nothing tasted bad or was too intense, except for the banana items for me personally but it’s not fair to judge it on that. Quality was good, nothing tasted stale or expired, the repetition wasn’t too bad this time around either.

Theme - 1 out of 5. Here was where the box kind of flopped, yes in comparison to the other boxes I can say this one is probably the most Easter oriented, but in comparison to last year I feel like it was heavily lessened. They only gave us 2 Easter items, 1 was a repeat I’m pretty sure, and the other was similar to another item we had in another box. Nothing really special or unique...

Total Rank: 7 out of 10. The items are fine and good, again I hate banana but I don’t want to discredit it over that. I’m only really disappointed by the failure of a theme. I would otherwise recommend the box because I thought everything as pretty good. Also, as I suspected, they removed the health snack. We haven’t had it for... what 3 boxes now? So far they’ve been getting rid of everything I liked DX first the cute bonus items, then the original characters, they have also been giving us the boring repetitive DIY kits too lately so I’m not too happy about that either...

♥ Cutie’s Scale of Yummy ♥

1. Garlic Edamame Potato Chips- This one gave me the stronger flavor and quantity I wanted in the corn crisps :P the flavor is a bit odd at first bite, but addictively tasty~

2. Corn Potage Crisps - Surprisingly this isn’t my #1 of the box, but only because I wish the flavor was a little stronger and it’d be nice if we had more of it~

3. Cola Candy Stick - I wasn’t sure what to expect with the “sherbet“ but the soda flavor goes well with the cola. I love both of them together and seperately~

4. Rice Puff Bar - I loved snacking on this, but the flavor needs to be stronger~

5. Caramel Corn Tiramisu - Pretty much a better version of the below, and sweeter, but not overbearingly so like previous Caramel Corn I’ve had. I love the crispy texture.

6. Okin Milk Coffee Crisps - Honestly I didn’t have too much of an opinion of these, but I do like them. The coffee taste lingers though, so I wouldn’t recommend them to non-coffee fans.

7. Anpanman Chocolate - Dokinchan is so cute, and I love strawberry. I just wish it was bigger!

8. Kappa Shrimp - Had them before, I don’t hate them and I’m sure if you like shrimp you’ll love these.

9. Good Moist Chocolate - I didn’t hate these, but I can’t say I liked them either. I loved the heart-shaped pieces though.

10. Dragon Umaibo - I didn’t hate it, but it was so weird, in a fun sort of way.

11. Sakura Cola - I love how pretty it is but I had higher hopes for it...

12. Egg Chocolate - They weren’t anything special but I thought the egg container was cute.

13. Banana Kitkats - They were okay but because they’re nothing new and my disliking of banana... yeah...

#cutie reviews #tokyo treat #calbee #tohato #furuta #umaibo

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killapunk · 5 years

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the weirdest, NO, evilest, person i have every worked for

no real names are used in this piece. i refer to other weirdos and freaks throughout, sorry its a long read (i didnt intend for this) but its one of those things ya gotta settle into and believe me its a wild ride. this saga covers over three years of drama btw.

tw: mental health mentioned (inc panic attacks), chronic illness mentioned and mild sex references

i am going to single out jess. shes more evil than a weirdo but weirdo nonetheless. pete is a secondary weirdo in this saga.

i work in retail for a long time. a fashion store to be precise. i started out in one store but transferred when i started studying at uni and remained there for the majority of the retail career. during my time there i had three managers, the longest one, who is also a fucking weirdo was pete. now before i worked with pete, before he transferred to our store. i didnt like pete when i started working with him, he annoyed the fuck outta me. but my life circumstances changed and my mental health issues got very bad AND i was diagnosed with cfs so i had to disclose it w him. turns out… he was fucking mental too, very understanding, super chill. we liked the same shit. great boss. 11/10 every time.

he would be my reference for every job ever…

…but. he started gettin involved w jess. now to jess. the main character in this piece.

jess had started at the company around the same time as me and we were always on the same level until the last year or so. jess was a bit older than the average age of staff at the store (17-20) and was 23 when this drama started. she had a college diploma, went onto do something semi-successful but related to her HND. but blew all her money, moved back into her parents and started working at the store part time and then onto full time. she was like…the perfect retail girl? small, cute, slim, bubbly… always looked cool in her uniform. customers loved the fuck out of her.

jess had a bf when i first started and pete had a longstanding gf. jess and her bf ended things abt 4 or 5 months before pete and his gf. but i remember they started gettin cushy around about this time. im not sure if its cos im v sympathetic towards pete (a true kind soul who i hold v dearly in my heart) but even tho youd be thinking ‘boss abuses his power’ …jess was and still is fuckin manipulative and he has longstanding mental health issues and i just think she sorta got the ball rollin’. pete and his gf didn’t seem on good terms, i dunno the full story but it seemed like they should have broken a long time before the did.

i think the fortnight before pete and his gf broke up they were spotted hanging out together near where she lived. it was this hush hush thing that everyone giggled abt cos there was at the time talk they were fuckin. when it got out, after his breakup jess said she was ‘just being a friend’ cos he was ‘going through a tough time’.

jess got promoted to keyholder even though she didnt really (at the time) have the skills or confidence to be a keyholder. and then she started to try and fuckin control the work. back during this time, everyone who worked at the store, minus literally 3 people, had worked for the company for at least a year. the store ran very well, we were always in profit. nothing went wrong. but. she started changing processes because it 'made things easier when she was opening’. like. she made everyone tally the amount of people they served in the fitting room in one box and tally the amount of things people left behind so she could make a sales chart. idk if that’s normal in other stores but like? it was just nuts and impossible to do.we always put deliveries away out the package but not folded in a particular way. she made everyone tag and (where relevant) hang items bc she had to pick everything in the morning.

she became friends w most of the girls, including one of the supervisors. they ruled the workplace. it was a total gossip mill. she gaslit the fuck outta people. one already less-popular girl at work ended up quitting cos she kept blaming her for fuck ups, she kept getting write ups and it was impating her mental health. she spun people against her. less popular girl spoke up and called her a bully and jess acted all defensive and said she wasn’t a bully bc shed been bullied before? jess continued to fuck up the workplace. next she turned on two people in her own clique. one tbh, i think she was jealous of bc jess had always wanted to be a teacher and this gal was training to be one. the other girl was v like jess, just not a bitch… strongwilled, liked control. anyway, drama got to the point where they had to quit. waay too much drama for this textpost. at this point others started to notice n work became hostile. jess moved her girlgang clique to one of the original clique girls, a different supervisor and the other two full time staff members.

pete obv didn’t listen to people coming to him, as store manager being like… hey… there’s this major clique problem and he’d be like ‘nah everyone is just friends, jess is a bit insecure but yno things are good, people quit, its just retail. fuck it.’ jess accused everyone who didn’t get on w her as being a terrible person. those legit words. like. if someone said it was a shame x, y or z left shed rebut, nah they were shit at their job, they were a shit person. honestly. EVERYONE. was a bad person. even the nicest people in the world were the worst person, the worst at the job. she was a good person, she liked the good people. she HAD BEEN BULLIED AND WOULD NEVER BULLY. she threw the anxiety word around a lot.

once we had a staff night out and i got left alone with jess and pete at the end of the night in this terrible lil bar as i waited for someone to pick me up. this is a good point to mention jess was always weirdly jealous cos i was close to pete. fucking ridic considering he was 14 years older than me and you know my fucking boss??? this night, i was sitting right next to pete, we were both drinking, jess wasn’t (cos she likes to be in control, she even said it), he had his arm around me and was whispering something into my ear that was such a non-thing i don’t even remember. she got her phone out, started texting. he excused himself and when he returned he sat beside her. it was fucking nuts. i couldn’t believe my eyes. we had to basically carry pete out of the bar. jess said to me she was gonna drive him home cos it was on the way to hers (spoiler! it was not!). myself and pete did the open the next day. he came in wearing the same clothes. i mean, he could have just passed out and had to rush to work when he woke up. but. this guy went out a lot. he never repeated an outfit. i think jess took advantage of a very drunk him. similarly, on another night out, jess promised to drive someone home. said person got too drunk and thew up. jess refused to take them home and called them embarrassing, she gave the space in her car to pete.

i had a major bad evening shift at work concerning another staff member, kaylee. a gal who just rubbed me up the wrong way, and who didn’t like me. ill never know why but it was just one of those things where anytime i was on shift w her she would nitpick and bitch about me and just… make me feel not v good. she was possibly the laziest and rudest person i had ever worked with but someone got away with it?

i used her as a way to talk to pete about the general problems in the store (jess). and…it was fuckin surreal. i told him abt kaylee. i told him i thought jess was controlling but kinda laid off a bit like ‘i get she thinks shes doing it for good’ etc. i padded it out w a few other rly petty issues abt the store. i was actually really upset, kinda numb from life to properly let out my emotions. and then. he started cry on me. like this full-on grown man having a panic attack in front of me when i was 19, fucked on diazepam i should have never been prescribed. to this day i visualise it. me and pete were v close at this point, and like, he didn’t mention jess too much – asked me about the other girl and other issues when i came to him. we spoke about personal shit, all but jess. i kinda wonder if he didn’t have the panic attack if i would have told him his under the radar relationship w her was not on?

and then. pete sold me out in the name of jess. idk the full ins and outta everything but he had to confront the drama once and for all cos our figures were so low so he decided to blame it all on kaylee. from my understanding of the situ from a lot of ‘he said she said’ bs, pete had this big meeting w kaylee. was like. 1. do ur job right and 2. stop being rude and unapproachable. the thing is, although kaylee is rude shes one of these ppl who most ppl really liked, not in a jess/regina george theyre scared of you way but…like they thought she was a tv character and she was funny and honest. so i think she confronted some obvious allies, and jess told her, according to another staff member, that i complained about her. after hearing this i obvious went to pete and tbh, acted pretty dramatic (cos if you haven’t fucking learned already THIS STORE WAS FULL OF DRAMA QUEENS). as soon as i heard, i started texting him angrily on his day off. i remember folding something in the fitting rooms and he came up to give me a hug and i was like ‘HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TELL OTHER PEOPLE MY BUSINESS’. i confronted jess, in a lighter tone, cos i obv told pete (half) what i felt about her. jess played the fucking innocent role. like, she said something along the lines of ‘we’re both close to pete n he was so worried that when me, you and kaylee did those shifts together that something would go wrong. so he told me to keep an eye on things and that’s all i told kaylee cos she wasn’t sure why she was being targeted when so many people in this store are treating people badly. i didn’t say you reported her or anything, honestly!!!!’ queue more bs.

after this, jess didn’t bother with me but was never explicit about hating me. if there was a convo going on and i tried to join in she scolded at me for being nosey. if i was unwell (i have cfs) shed moan ‘jokingly’ that i always had to be ill. i think she ripped on me once cos i said i was late for a hand-in at uni.

her next real victim, however, was jack, my best friend in store and our supervisor. jack was getting fucked over in his supervisor role bc pete would schedule jess for anything managerial. jess started a rumour that pete didn’t trust jack bc jack fucked it at a meeting w the other stores (semi true but fucking up a meeting isn’t the end of the world). like. anything jack would be, jess would be on him. by this point 50% of the staff that were around at the start of the story HAD LEFT. jess had driven people out and had the new ones all up her arse.

pete quit. it was sudden.

not long later, facebook popped up with a fuckin ‘pete is in a relationship with jess’ status and pete has never spoken to me again. i left shortly after that, although our new manager was lovely i felt like i was working for jess.

jack ended up GETTING DEMOTED, by petes replacement who had no idea what a shitstorm she was getting herself into. the new manager PROMOTED jess and demoted jack bc she was doing all the supervisor jobs whilst jack was only doing midshifts. he didnt get shafted to the lowest pay and was instead given the title ‘trainer and authorised opener/closer’ whilst still doing the same fucking job. he transferred out, cos that shit is fucking degrading and within, like two months he was put back up his rightful position. yay for my forever work bestie. I

feel like this has been going on for too long now. i think this doesn’t do her justice. like…i cant believe someone who is NOW 26 and who got what she wanted after manipulating a mentally ill man caused so much drama and pain and tension in a fucking clothes store.

fucking horrid. im reading this completely exhausted and so i cant say much but i just feel like these people are always the ones who come out on top, and its so fucked up. im really sorry you had to deal with so many unpleasant people, and your friend as well.

i swear mediocrity and asskissing is what gets you anywhere in this world, and manipulative cunts like this jess woman take full advantage of that. it’s pretty scary, honestly. amazing how far drama can go, huh. this is why i have trust issues.

i still hope she gets her ass kicked by life, though. there has to be some sort of karmic justice somewhere

i also feel like i should say that there’s always going to be people who won’t like you for some reason. even if you don’t do anything wrong and even though everyone else thinks they’re great. no idea why this happens, but all i can say is there’s really nothing you can do. so FUCK EM (in the most metaphorical sense as they don’t deserve you giving them the time of day)

#manipulation #story sharing #submission

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sparkspsps · 5 years

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My thoughts on Voltron season 8: part 1

OK!!!!

Obvs spoilers ahead!

I watched it the day before yesterday and I’ve had some time to think about it and everyone else is making their thoughts known so I thought I’d join the bandwagon. (especially since a lot of it is negative)

Overall thoughts, I actually enjoyed myself while watching it and yes there were some issues but enjoyment is the key thing for me. I went into this season not expecting any ships to become canon, no theories to be confirmed, nothing like that. I went in expecting space battles and some Honerva screentime while hoping for some down time where we just go to see the paladins in normal situations. And for this I was not disappointed. (although I was also hoping for Lotor to some back, which was a disappointment)

Anyway episode 1: This episode was a big surprise for me. My boyfriend got a huge kick out of all the 80s Voltron references and we both laughed our heads off at Pidge’s impressions. Another thing that I’ve mentioned before on here is that I have never been a huge Allurance shipper. However!! This is because I am a huge fan and sucker for romance, and this ship in canon never had a whole lot of romance and seemed fairly rushed. This episode helped sell me on it. They got some time to just hang out and talk, flirt, and just be around each other. It gave them a chance to slow down and actually have a tiny bit of development. This whole season helped with that. (unpopular opinion, I know) So here I am, a fresh Allurance shipper. I’m on board.

Seriously tho, that date gave me vibes of that date Zuko had where he lit up the torches for the girl in Ba Sing Se. Also, at dinner when Veronica said she wanted to know about Lance’s long haired friend my thoughts immediately go to Romelle. Oh and the sunset scene with Keith and Lance was great.

Episode 2: I’m doing this mostly from what I remember and all I remember from this episode is Lotor being freaking adorable and a lot of feels for Honerva I think. She just wanted to be a mom again. Seriously, I thought it was super cool and sad getting her backstory a bit and what she did while they were gone, as well as learning how she got her name. Also I stan Lotor and this episode made me think of things for my colony Lancelot thing.

Episode 3: I don’t have a lot to say here. I’m glad that random monster came back after being shown for two seconds on screen back in what, season 6? It was made out to be super tough and I was excited for a big battle on foot but nah, they just blew him up.

Episode 4: This season has a lot of callbacks which I guess makes sense since final season and all but that’s like so much of the first half of this season them being like “Oh hey we’ve encountered this before.”

I did like that Pidge still had her connection to Olkarion. I thought the memory thing was super cool but I thought they were gonna do something more with it. (probably expecting too much with the writers) Also thought that Pidge would see some of the Olkarion’s survive and they would come in again later. The whole thing was a nice concept for an episode. I liked the whole “You must not cling to tightly to the past” thing in this episode with the planet being destroyed and everything relating to Honerva and Altea/Daibazol even though the show seems to go back on this at the end by freaking bringing the two planets back.

Episode 5: This episode I found lacking. I’ll start with something not so bad. This is the first time I noticed Curtis and I was literally pausing the episode and laughing with my bf asking “Who the fuck is this rando?” Seriously I was so confused since Voltron never seems to let random people who don’t have some significance to the plot speak. I legit thought because he got a few lines that he was going to be killed later in the episode. (I’ll talk about the wedding thing and Curtis later.)

Veronica and Axca’s little “friendship” that I don’t believe you ever see again was cute. And they meet an Olkarion right after leaving his destroyed homeworld but that never comes up huh?

Also the paladins turned stupid this episode. There’s one every season but god. Leaving their suits and weapons behind when there’s a good chance they’ll suffocate when they know they can put up a fight, stupid. Allura making a comment about how they’ve relied on tech too much, stupid. And does anyone know where Cosmo went the majority of this episode? AND it took Shiro and the Atlas crew that long to realize it wasn’t actually Keith talking to them?

SPACE LESBIANS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD?! Why did Ezor leave? How did she get on the Atlas? Why did Keith forget how to fight when last season no one could touch him and now here he is a fucking hostage on the edge of a lava pit?!

And can I say how disappointed I am about how Zethrid didn’t do a freaking backflip into the lava with Keith?

Episode 6: I wanna know how many planets got destroyed this episode, seriously. (I live for the sock thing) I’m also sick of them getting knocked out and waking up at the most convenient time. (totally good writing techniques right there)

Episode 7: I LOVE THIS EPISODE! Kinkade is adorable. He’s the Youtuber AU we’ve been looking for. (My boyfriend made fun of him though for blindfolding himself while putting together a gun with so few pieces) Love Risavi as well.

HUNK IS THE MOST PRECIOUS AND WHOLESOME CHILD AND I LOVE HIM IN THIS EPISODE SO MUCH!!!! The battle footage was epic. Coran is perfect and this is seriously my whole commentary on this episode. It’s fun, has great characters and down time. Seriously, every season should have at least one more episode like this.

I’m gonna put the rest of the episodes and my final thoughts in part two cuz I hate super long posts!!!!

Part 2

#voltron #season 8 #It wasn't that bad #allurance #my thoughts #vld

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117--087 · 6 years

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Thanks for your insightful comments, @veta-lopis ! And yeah, a lot of the reactions to ‘Silent Storm’ I’ve been seeing are following along the same general likes & dislikes. Which isn’t a bad thing I suppose. I’d rather have that than yet another piece of Halo media that is ridiculously divisive and/or yo-yos in overall quality...Also I just re-read both yours and @equivalencept’s Pros+Cons for the book and realized mine was a lot more like them than I thought. So I apologize for the lack of originality. XD

(btw these fine folks’ posts can be read here & here - spoilers still apply obvs)

I wanted to “officially” put my initial thoughts on things out into the wild here anyway though. And I hope you don’t mind me replying on a separate post, but since the book is less than a week old I’m trying to be as courteous as possible to those that want to avoid any & all spoilers by keeping specific talk about the story’s contents under read-mores. :)

I get what you are saying about Fred’s humor being better balanced in Denning’s previous books - because it was. I guess for my part I still would have liked to have seen more exploration of the weightier side of what Fred would’ve been going through at that time. Such as: how does Fred feel about essentially becoming the "replacement" for the Master Chief in the eyes of his remaining S-IIs (not to mention HIGHCOM) and Kurt in the eyes of the S-IIIs? Is he trying to run things differently than his predecessors, or the same - and why? Does he remotely expect, or want, his new duties as squad leader to pass on to someone else eventually? And other such related items.

Adding some humor to liven up a story is perfectly fine. Welcome even. Humanizing the Spartan-IIs is something anyone who has seen me around here/the Halo community in general I think knows I am 110% in support of. Especially when it is used to show that the S-IIs are indeed people and not just emotionless/mindless war machines. But when humor is utilized at the expense of what else that a character has to offer that also makes them unique and dynamic, it becomes a problem. And I feel that has sort-of happened to Fred in Denning’s books - which, as you touched on, is getting into retcon territory. But like I said I have hope this issue can be course-corrected in future media with appropriate feedback to the right people.

Also for the record, I don’t disagree that Eric Nylund’s past works could have done better with some punched-up emotionality throughout. Though in my opinion when it really mattered, the emotions that were attached to those various key moments were still strong and left a lasting impact (i.e. Sam’s death, Chief finding the surviving S-IIs on Reach, Operation: TORPEDO, Dr. Halsey and Fred fighting on Onyx, etc.). But that is neither here or there. Obviously different writers are going to have different strengths, weaknesses, and styles.

Also to give the current author some benefit of the doubt here, we don’t know exactly what material Troy Denning is working from. What was he given from 343i that briefed him on Blue Team and the other S-IIs? Was it even accurate, or detailed enough? Was he given anything at all? We just don’t know. Nor do I expect him, as a busy professional, to read TFOR/FS/GOO cover-to-cover dozens of times to become intimately familiar with the subtleties of the characters’ established personalities and mannerisms...that would’ve been nice if he had, sure, but that’s not realistic.

So all things considered he's done quite well - just needs to tighten the screws a bit in some areas, imo. Either way John being portrayed right was what was most important for ‘Silent Storm’ to do, as he is one of the primary POV characters. And I’m very glad, and relieved, to be able to say that aspect worked out great.

As far as I am aware, it wasn’t that the members of Green & Gold Teams were scaled back in terms of their involvement in the story. But rather 343i limited Denning in terms of the number of Spartans that he originally wanted to have in the book. As in, we could have seen another team of 4 present for this op (Black Team perhaps?). So when taking into account everything already going on between all the groups and the amount of characters involved as is, I believe the devs made the right call on that one. Still that doesn’t make it any less of a shame to see the Spartans we have not being utilized to their full potential (personality-wise and as soldiers).

Unfortunately though it is hard to say if Blue Team as a whole is even what 343i is wanting to “double down” on. All we have gotten from them in the wake of H5 is they think people want “moar Master Chief” - as evidenced with things like ‘Silent Storm’ and ‘Collateral Damage’ being labeled “A Master Chief Story”. Which, to put it mildly, is missing the big picture to a ridiculous degree. But (whether they like it or not) Kelly, Fred, and Linda were with John practically every step of the way up to the original games. So there is no way for them to be removed as long as “prequel” media is being made. So it is my hope that continued exposure to Blue Team will soften those fans that might have been soured on their presence due to H5′s extremely poor handing of their introduction to the games...and thus result in them being kept around as main characters and the Chief’s companions in H6.

Otherwise yeah, I totally agree that seeing a young John and Blue Team make their first forays into the wider world of the UNSC and it’s politics was the best aspect of the book. I really like that it did emphasize that at this point they are still kids and even with all their expert combat training and college-level education they have a lot left to learn from experience (both their own and their elders’/superiors’).

However, also like you said, more stuff that is just focused on their interactions as characters is sorely needed. Like that part early on in the story when Kelly broke some ribs and she had to call John out on his somewhat overprotective behavior. That was the perfect set-up for them to have a personal conversation later where they hash things out in more detail regarding how Sam’s death has impacted them both and what that means for them as teammates & best friends going forward...but it is never followed up on. Or for instance why not have a little more going on in the background with Daisy. I assume her confrontational attitude in the book is something of a reference to how she found out the ugly truth of what happened with their birth families after they were kidnapped...so why not have a moment where Kurt (as both a team leader for this op and someone we know is interested in understanding other people) really tries to push past that anger and make her feel better. Or why not just have a moment where Naomi uses her tech-savviness to assist Grace in doing something clever with explosives.

'Silent Storm’ was ripe for character-building elements like this. But, outside of a few moments for John, didn’t quite deliver. As you touched on in your own appraisal of the narrative there was just too much happening here to cover in one book - one that was less than 800 pages anyway. But for what we got, I will still say I’m satisfied with it and will continue to keep my fingers crossed that the positives and negatives currently being discussed across social media will be taken into account for next time.

#replies #veta-lopis #opinion post #Silent Storm #spoilers #books #...sorry but this got a tad long - lol.

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vonseal · 7 years

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what im weak for this week

SOOOOO i haven’t done one of these in almost a month! i think it’s high-time to get back on track again! hopefully i can come out with the next one on the 11th instead of a month later.

this is long. like srsly long. like wow. it took me an hour. i could’ve written a whole fic.

call me maybe by shinigamibutter

i’ve got this weird thing with library aus. i love them. maybe it's because libraries are elusive and mysterious to me now (i checked out a book back in middle school, i still have it on my bookshelf and im too scared to return it), but they’re something so nice about libraries. also there’s something so nice about SOCKY and MYUNGJIN and BINU all in one lil fic, holla for a dolla! this is really nice and cute and i loved reading it! <3

out of my league by koutarous

BINU!!! DRINKING TOO MUCH (bad bin)!!! i loved this prompt and @shouldveheldon did it so much justice, it’s unbelievable how good it is (but i’ve never been disappointed from her writing). the set-up is good and even if bin should lay off on the alcohol a bit, at least it got him a cute guy’s number, AMIRITE.

i’ll pick the white and fluffy clouds from the sky for you by spaceviolet (vividplum)

did you guys know im a fan of the cute fluff? did you guys know im a fan of the socky? did you guys know im a fan if you combine both those things? heck yes man, this combination was so amazing and perfect. ALSO, ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP??? im in, im so in.

Does Lonileness Ever Truly End? by MidnightsDeath

i should stop writing angsty stuff bc people take it as inspiration to make even angstier stuff and then im all sad and depressed lol. especially WHEN I STARTS HELLA CUTE WITH MYUNGJIN. thank you for writing this, and thank you for making me cry and ruin my makeup haha.

(my) hot antagonist by rubanrose

we’ve been getting this nice influx of moonrock here lately, and seal approves. i mean, tbc was basically moonrock (did you see the way bin smiled when he brought up rocky???). ALSO ANOTHER ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP, YES. and just moonbin and rocky being cute dorks together and making my heart die of fluff, wow <3

you captured my heart by binubin

some people say that the fake boyfriend au is overdone. i say it’s UNDERdone. like, seriously, i love the idea of people pretending to date and then legit falling in love (the proposal is one of my favorite movies if you guys wanted to know), and WOW IM SO HAPPY THIS ONE EXISTS! bin is a photographer and dongmin is a (un?)willing subject, and i just want you guys to read it. it’ll be six chapters of awesome sauce.

home is wherever the heart is by diametrical

NO GUYS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THAT DOMESTIC AUS ARE JUST THE GREATEST!!!! AND MYUNGJIN???? DOMESTIC???? wow, just shoot me now, @leedeermin, bc you stole my heart already. i thought nothing could top binu domestic au, BUT THIS DID (mostly bc myungjin > everything for me, im trash, send help). thank youuuu for this, it’s all i needed in life

i get to love you by asteraa

aka, lanna still tryin to make up for making me sob over trains to busan au. well it worked. it worked so so so well. and the song choice for the end I HAVE IT ON MY PHONE BC OF THIS NOW WOW i get emo over it thank you so much. this is all around just funny and cute and heart-wrenching and fluffy and perfect.

moving on by slaymyseoul

your username conveys perfectly what you’ve done to me, @slaymyseoul: you slayed my soul. slayed it hard. slayed it nasty. and then you acted all happy in the end notes like you didn’t just slaughter a thousand hearts all at once. this binu just...all 700 words of it just ruined me for the rest of my life. you’re such a good author and it shows in my tears.

baby by beifomg

tbh now all i can think in my head is BABY whenever they call each other that, bless astro and their bitchin tunes. NAH BUT THIS FIC is so pure??? so so so pure and i just wanted to touch the screen and somehow lengthen the story with nothing but this pure moment between eunwoo and binnie. at least im so happy this was created, it’s perfection.

Let's go on an adventure! by Rach4040

BINU!!! CUTE BINUUUU!!! also rulebreaker binnie and SUDDEN RULEBREAKER EUNWOO??? i love the idea of cute, romantic teens going off in the middle of the night just to be cute and pure and getting back home in the morning and knowing they won’t get any sleep and will be utterly exhausted all day, but it’s worth it because they love each other AND THATS WHAT THIS IS!!! it’s so cute, gosh golly.

rock show by roobix

i know a few people wanted bartender jinwoo, which i might still write, but i think this one is even better than what i could ever do. it was so short and i longed for more BUT MAN what we did get was fantastic (and made me imagine bartender jinwoo, haha yessss)

oh, the stars shine by parkjinchu

the stars shine for @parkjinchu and HER BEAUTIFUL FICS!!! i missed her writing in the lull after the year we met (go check it out, go check it out on her page, wow i cry), but she’s back with DOMESTICCCCC (im so happy with all this domestic we’re getting) JINCHA!!! why is there not more jincha, they work so well together. (i’d write it but also im myungjin trash, i cant escape my hell). also cute new parents peeking over a bed at their fragile baby just warms my heart (also, relatable, how do you touch a baby without breaking him)

summer paradise by aseuteuro

nopenopenopenope. i shouldnt recommend this, so dont read it unless you want to cry at work like seal did (not safe for work, bc you CRY). it’s binu and i sorta expected it to be happy despite the angst warning in the tags (im not smart, i dont claim to be intelligent) but it WASNT, it just RIPPED MY HEART OUT, HOW DARE

colour me by heybinnie

i will be honest, i dont normally read reader-insert fics like this, but i thought, “it’s @heybinnie and she’s perfect so i bet it will be perfect.” guess what? it was. it was so dreamy and beautiful and breathtaking, and i seriously cannot wait to figure it all out! (JINWOO SELLS DRUGS, PASS IT ON)

flytrap by tinytaeil

MYUNGJIN, i thought. METAPHORS, i thought again. BEAUTIFUL WRITING WOW IM JEALOUS, i thought once more. and then it ends with my cries, why can’t jinwoo just LOVE and have HAPPINESS, why this, why the poor fly, why the amazing description and flowing narrative??? tbh, i think this fic was a flytrap.

forbidden love by jiminaddiction

MORE MOONROCK! look at us getting blessed with all this moonrock. i love this one a lot bc minhyuk is deaf and bin is colorblind, but WOW they’re so adorable and blushy around each other! each chapter that comes out makes me so happy and excited, and i can’t wait for more of it!

Loop by ContraryNonsense

WOW MAN THIS IS SO INTRIGUING!!! i dont read tags, tbh, i just click at this point when i see the description, so i didn’t expect the ending to the first chapter (then i read the tags and thought, “gotta trudge past the angst to get to the happy ending.”) and we’re ALMOST THERE!!! ONE MORE CHAPTER!!! definitely read this, pls do so, it deserve so much more hits than it’s got.

where soil lies, a new beginning blooms by @vocalpmh

THIS WAS INSPIRED BY WITCHCRAFT WHICH>????? how did i do anything to deserve this amazing piece of perfection??? i still read it a lot, it’s one of my go-tos when im feeling down, and im so blessed you gifted it to me, i just absolutely ADORE this fic. pls pls pls read, it’s pure and perfect myungjin (also butt groping, my legacy spreads)

breadtrayed by @glowingjinjin

that pun. get in my home, lanna, i need your puns. i think we had a discussion bc i actually dont like bread all that much but NO WHAT HAS BREAD EVER DONE TO ME??? or to eunwoo, who apparently can find time to bag up a bunch of bread, what a great boyfriend.

a love stronger than furniture by @glowingjinjin

stop writing funny fics to make up for train to busan, you can’t replace my broken heart. IDK THO THIS CAME CLOSE TO DOING SO!!! everything about it was perfect, and you’re so amazing with writing these cutsie fics??? (and then you’ll turn around and rip out my heart, i know you will)

witch coven au by @astrofireworks

i still havent read the newest addition, but i have it up right now to read after i post this. i love your imagination. i love your ideas, i just need to tap into your brain and steal some of this brilliance, thank you very much

UPDATED FICS FROM LAST WEEK MONTH??? -

because of hani by gachigallae - have i mentioned how much i love these kids and domestic stuff??? because i do, i truly seriously do, and i love this fic and bin’s affection for dongmin’s daughter is so cute

5+1 by heybinnie - this makes my heart wrench, but in a good way, and makes me realize how fantastic of a leader jinwoo is to these boys.

stray romance by alette - @alette-stars done did it again, stole my heart and made binnie and dongmin both all so jealous, wow this is cute

medley by sassysavagesanha (RedJusticeLibra) - QUEEN OF SOCKY!!! MORE SOCKY FOR ME!!! more socky for you if you click right now, guaranteed you’ll enjoy it

short moments by Mieun (snowsketch) - i love these cute little movements, and new chapters always make me so happy, especially the myungjin in the last chapter!

inked by jinwoosmile - i figured you out, @jinwoosmile. you tryin to get me to cry. and you succeeded, congrats, you can stop bashing my heart apart now.

leave me dreaming by desiderate - im hooked. im so so so so hooked and idk how it’ll end but im so anticipating whatever happens because it’s such good writing so i know it’ll be fantastic (even if i’ve been so sad with this lol)

the language of flowers by birdbrainberke - I LOVED THIS PROMPT so obvs i love this fic, especially bc it’s @payneinthearsenal, who really knows how to write amazing fics.!!!

and if you ever have anything you think i need to check out, hit me up with that fic, fams. i dont even care if it’s your own. i check a03 regularly, so if it’s something posted elsewhere, pls let me know!

#what makes me weak this week #i started full time hours and my brain has been mush so this is a month late oops #i'll stay on track from now on

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